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kissingkiszka · 7 months ago
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I think we need some more dad jake
Father’s Day - dad!Jake Kiszka x Reader
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Words: 450+
Summary: On Father’s Day, you surprise Jake with a very special gift, making it his first Father’s Day.
CW: MDNI, 18+, fluff, pregnancy, surprises, cursing, talks of anxiety, implications of sex, suggestive talks
Happy Father’s Day!
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“Goodmorning, love.” You giggled into Jake’s shoulder. He was buried under the covers, it was still pretty early in the morning.
He groans, rolling over to his other side. “Hi beautiful.” He manages to mumble.
“It’s Father’s Day.” You tell him.
He shoots up and looks at you, rubbing his eyes. “Oh shit. Is my dad coming over?” He asks, trying to blink the sleep away.
You casually shake your head, in no rush. “He’ll be here in a few hours.”
“Okay.” He accepts, he stands up and saunters over to his closet.
You sneak into the other room while he’s getting dressed and grab the gift bag you had put aside for safe keeping. You wait a few minutes until he’s fully ready to give it to him.
“Hey, Jake.” You smile, hiding the gift bag behind your back. You’re feeling all the feelings of anxiety to excitement running through you.
“What’s up?” He asks, putting the finishing touches on his outfit. He’s wearing a striped button up and light colored jeans.
“Happy Father’s Day.” You giggle.
“What?” He chuckles, not understanding what’s going on.
“Happy Father’s Day.” You repeat, becoming more nervous.
“I’m not a dad, but, thanks.” He laughs. “I mean, shit, I’ll be your daddy.”
You giggle and then shake your head. “No, Jake.”
You hand him the gift bag. His eyebrows furrow with confusion as he takes the bag from you.
He scans the bag curiously before carefully pulling the tissue paper out.
“Love…what is this?” He questions softly. “You know I don’t like surprises.” He smiles, opening the bag further.
He pulls out a black box from inside the gift bag and inspects it thoroughly. You chuckle out of nervousness. He wastes no time opening the box, and pulls out a onesie with a pattern of guitars scattered all over it. Followed by a pregnancy test. A positive one.
“No.” He gasps, his free hand flying to cover his mouth. Your heart sinks before he uncontrollably breaks out into a smile, which is then followed by laughter.
“Oh my god! You’re-” he asks through giggles.
“Yes!” You nod with a chuckle. Finally over the moon to reveal your secret with him. You wanted to make it the most special day and also tell him the news in the most special way, and figured Father’s Day was coming up, so you had to plan it out perfectly. Although the past few days were near impossible, making sure not to accidentally let it slip.
He holds you for what feels like eternity, and you wish it had been.
“Oh my god!” He repeats, in complete shock. “My love! We’re having a little love!” He exclaims, his voice breaking.
You lean in and plant a kiss on his lips. “Happy first Father’s Day, Jake.”
“My first Father’s Day.” He repeats to himself, making him beam with pride.
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anthemofgvf · 2 years ago
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Deja Vu: Jake Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction
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description: between a span of nearly two years, you and jake would have occasional hookups every time he was back in town after touring. but once he abruptly stopped shooting you texts and seeing you, you figured you two were done for, and you despised ever spending time on him. so, once you see him in your local bar after six months, you're caught off guard with anger, but remembrance of how much you missed him, and how you truly feel about him.
word count: 7.7k+
warnings under cut:
warnings: angst - lots of it, a good amount of plot, swearing, smut (18+ minors dni!), praise kink, light degrading, fingering, light choking, unprotected sex, minimal begging, possible breeding kink ( no verbal mentions of it, only actions), overstimulation, light fluff, mention/usage of alcohol.
a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this little enemies to lovers oneshot i threw together. i just feel like jake fits this trope so much, and i've been wanting a fic with him in this trope. so, here's my little take on it for you all to enjoy:) ( also, warning, this is FILTHY. reader discretion advised )
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
You met him after one of his concerts in Michigan. His presence was captivating, with his brown hair that rested just below his shoulders, a shirt that only hung open with a few buttons that revealed dangling silver necklaces. His stage persona that had everyone's eyes glued on him, whether it was his turn for the spotlight or not. You couldn't tear your eyes or mind away from the guitarist. There was just something about him.
Something about the way he played skillful riffs on his guitar, the way he threw his head back and hissed tight breaths through his teeth. How he would wear a light smirk as he gazed down into the crowd and notice hundreds of fans screaming his name and raising his confidence to an all-time high. And when he'd look over to his bandmates, especially the singer, he'd wear a kind smile and playfully strut around the stage with him in his full element.
Your wishful hopes of seeing him outside of the concert lied in a nearby bar as you took small, gracious sips from your drink. So, when your prayers were answered, and you saw him inside the bar nearby, your heart began to skip a few beats. Your stomach was filled with a tingling sensation you compared to butterflies fluttering around excitedly in your gut. You took your chances on introducing yourself, because something in you told yourself that there was a chance something could come out of it.
He took your introduction with gratitude, telling you his name was Jake Kiszka. And once you told him your own name, it never left his lips.
Every time he spoke to you, every time he held you close to his body and trailed his lips down your neck, every time he pounded into you in any secluded area with appraisal. Every time he hummed your name when he cradled you close to his chest post-sex. He was an addictive drug that you couldn't break the habit of craving.
But you never saw him outside of your home state. He'd usually shoot you a text telling you he'd be in town, eventually figuring out that he was from there and lived somewhere you had never heard of before. He'd promise you that he'd see you the next time, and the next.
"I'll be back before you know it."
"I miss you - all of you. You know I think about you every night, right y/n?"
The simple sentences would keep you wrapped around his finger, and it seemed like that was his plan. The visits became less and less, but that didn't stop you from growing excited when you'd see a single notification from him telling you that he was stopping in town for a few days. But, when he stopped telling you he'd be back in town or wouldn't stop by his usual bar he'd hang out at with his band after a concert, you figured that was it. You should've expected it, since it was apparent that he was slowly pushing you away. It had been at least a year and a half of hookups and simple flirtatious chats. Nothing serious was supposed to come out of it, and you knew that. But you also had wished that after all that time his mind would change.
Your thoughts of him were filled with regret. Ashamed that you let him trick your oblivious mind into believing that he would stop the sleezy hookups and take you out on a romantic date, or perhaps turn your sexual relationship into something meaningful. His words that told you his mind was on another page than his actions. It was hurtful the first few months of no contact, but after it hit at least half a year of no responses, you eventually just grew hatred for him. Simple reminders on the internet told you that he was still out there in existence, but you eventually were able to steer clear of any media pertaining him and his band, and he became a distant memory.
You still attended the bar, since it was close to your home and a popular hangout spot for you and your friends with cheap drinks and an easy way to get drunk. There was a time when you hoped that one night he'd walk in and come running to you, but after time fleeted by long enough, you stopped caring, and you prayed that he'd never return.
But you found yourself alone at the bar on a Friday night after your friend cancelled last minute. Although you could've just stayed in for the night and relaxed after a long week of work, you chose to pleasure yourself with a few drinks to let off some steam.
"Your usual?" The bartender, Steve, asked you. You became familiar with him after your weekly visits at the local bar.
"Yeah, sure." You nodded with a sigh, folding your hands together on the tabletop and watching him make the drink.
He mixed your cocktail skillfully, finishing it within a few minutes and sliding it over to you, letting you know he'd put it on your tab.
Your eyes lingered around the dimly lit bar, searching for something to focus your eyes on. People scattered around the bar, talking amongst each other with drinks accompanied in their hands, a few dancing after having one too many drinks, people exiting and entering the bar. It was all a comforting, familiar scene, but you'd forgotten how boring it was when alone. Sure, you made small talk with the bartender, maybe a few regulars that took their place next to you, but you mainly just kept to yourself.
So, when your eyes found three familiar faces entering the bar, your heart began to beat against your chest at a rapid pace and send your ears ringing. You hadn't expected to see Jake's friend back in the bar after all this time, let alone Jake himself. This place was a sacred haven that finally was free of his presence, but now, he has sinfully graced it again with his bandmates. His face was in full form, and you swore you forgotten what he looked like, let alone his bandmates. But this was proven untrue the second you recognized them in the pool of strangers.
You recognized the two accompanying him to be Danny and Sammy. Josh was forgotten from the picture, knowing him, he was probably at home "recharging" his social battery. You needed a few more drinks to forget you saw their faces, or better yet, walk home and leave there all together.
You hid your face in your drink, finishing it off with a few sips and calling the bartender back over to make you a second one.
"Tequila Sunrise?" A familiar voice said from next to you, causing your head to whip towards the man.
"Yeah, it's what I usually get." You nodded at Danny with a small smile, accepting the second drink and watching his face go through some remembrance phase of recollecting who you were. He knew you from somewhere, he just hadn't put the pieces of the distant memorial puzzle together quite yet.
"Wait, y/n?" His lips curled into a smile, eyes widening slightly. "Holy shit, how long has it been?"
"Long enough," you sighed, "can't believe you remember me."
"Well, you were one of the only girls Jake actually introduced us to and that we all liked. How've you been holding up?"
"Alright. What about you, huh?"
"Not too bad myself. The guys are doing great. I'm actually with Jake and Sam right now." He pointed his thumb behind him, turning his head over his shoulder before meeting your eyes again.
"Oh, really?" You acted surprised.
"I can go grab them if you-."
"Oh, no, no. It's fine. I don't want to see them." You took another sip of your drink, crossing your hands over each other. "Jake and I didn't end off on good terms."
"I was wondering why we stopped seeing you. Or, perhaps, why Jake stopped seeing you." He called the bartender over after, ordering himself a beer.
"Your best guess is mine," you raised your glass to your lips, "he just stopped talking to me one day. Piece of shit."
"Gosh, I'm sorry. I just figured-."
"Danny, my man, I've been looking for ya." Jake came between the middle of you two, patting his hand on his friend's back.
Danny's eyes flicked to you, then to his friend with a shy smile, nodding his head and taking a sip of his drink. Jake turned his head over his shoulder, examining you as your eyes averted to your glass. You didn't know the expression he had held onto his face, but whatever it was, your face grew red hot with the knowledge of his eyes lingering on you. Steam leaving your face, your empty hand balling into a tight fist. You had prayed that he wouldn't recognize who you were, or maybe pretend that he didn't know you.
"Long time no see, y/n." He leaned onto his arm between you and Danny, a signal for him to find his friend.
You haven't heard your name leave his lips in a long time, let alone his voice ringing into your ears. It was something you were grateful to forget, but now you were given a reminder that had begun to burn into your brain. You had once been comforted of his voice, but now, it only twisted at your stomach and made you feel the closet thing you could to being ill.
You let your head turn to see him in full view, immediately regretting your decision once the details of his face were lit right in front of you. His light brown eyes that were shaded by black-rounded sunglasses, his lips rested into a smug grin, his shirt unbuttoned low enough to reveal his infamous silver necklaces. Every second of examination was enough to make you slam your drink back, grab your things and leave him without uttering a word.
"Wait, hey, hey!" He called after you, tugging at your arm in the crowds of people that filled the bar.
"What do you want, Jake?" You fully turned to him and shook your arm out of his grasp with a tired voice.
He stood there for a few moments with an astonished expression. "I just...wanted to see how you were doing. Haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah, and that's your fucking fault. If you actually cared about how I was doing, maybe you would've shot me a text once or twice."
"I'm sorry I-."
"Sorry? You're sorry?" You scoffed, following if with a spiteful chuckle. "I don't care that I was just some girl that you hooked up with every now and then, but you could have at least been a decent human being and told me our little thing was done." You shoved your finger into his chest.
His mouth hung agape; he tilted his head back as he tried to console his own frustrations. He felt goosebumps creep onto the back of his neck once he realized a few bystanders noticed your light outburst.
"Let me at least take you home, alright? Call you an Uber or something." He opened his palms to you.
"And why would I let you do that?" You folded your arms together and kept your stern glare.
He furrowed his brows. "Because I feel like a bit of an asshole for how I ended things."
You sighed deeply and brought your fingers to the bridge of your nose. You pinched at the stressed skin in thought. You could only imagine yourself regretting letting him talk to you after all this time, but you remembered that once you felt nothing but adoration for him. Accepting his simple gesture could've been the end of it and you wouldn't have to see him again.
"What about your friends?"
"Don't worry about 'em. I'll just let them know I'm accompanying you for a bit." He held your eyes with a slight smile and a nod over to them.
You exhaled deeply and threw your hands up in the air. "Fine, alright. We're walking, by the way."
He gave you a light smirk of gratitude that he got his way. "Forgot your apartment was close by." He nodded in recollection, then telling you to give him a few seconds to notify his friends of the plan and to meet him outside. It was odd that you were frustrated with how he remembered where your apartment was, because it seemed like he had forgotten all about you. Now, it was as if no time had passed since he left you in the dust without a single word.
As much as you tricked yourself into believing that you shouldn't trust him, you found yourself standing outside of the bar and rapidly tapping your foot against the pavement that lined the busy streets of the night.
He met you at your side, hands shoved into his pocket with brows raised to let you know he was ready to follow you back to your apartment.
You didn't want to say much to him, since he was only supposed to be walking you back home and nothing more. What else were you supposed to say to him other than express your hatred towards him for leaving you quite literally high and dry six months ago?
"You never answered my question, by the way." His voice stopped your thoughts, and your eyes landed on him with a cocked brow. "I asked you how you've been."
"Oh," you gave him a single nod, "fine. Great, actually." You gave him a small smile and kept your eyes focused in front of you after letting your eyes linger onto him for too long for comfort.
"Not that you were going to ask, but I've been doing okay myself." He spoke lightly, releasing a soft chuckle to soothe the tension radiating between you two. All you gave him was a simple nod and kept to yourself. "Was surprised to run into you, actually. It's been a while since we've been to that bar."
"Trying to avoid me, huh?" You dared to look at him once more with aggravation. All he gave you was a sigh, and called it quits of trying to make more small talk on the walk back to your apartment.
And once you finally hit the steps that lead to your complex, you walked up to the door without acknowledging him. But once you noticed that he continued to follow you, you couldn't help but want to try and stop his actions.
"I didn't invite you in." You shook your head.
"I know. But I told you I'd walk you home." He shrugged with his hands still stuffed into his pockets.
You let your eyes roll dramatically, releasing a grunt of aggravation. "You've walked me far enough, Jacob. Don't push it."
He took a few steps forward up the steps that led to you. You had your arms folded tightly into your chest as you watched his every move. Although your nostrils flared, eyebrows pulled together tightly with every movement he made, he didn't have an ounce of care that you were becoming more and more upset with him. He wore a devious smirk, knowing that he was crawling under your skin. Any ounce of attention you gave him was just enough for him to continue to push the boundaries.
You scoffed. "You're not going to leave me alone, huh?"
"Nope." He gave you a smug grin and a shake of his head, with his long locks of hair bouncing off his shoulders.
"Funny to see you care about my well-being after all this time." You muttered to yourself, letting him follow you up the short flight of stairs that led to your apartment door and still deciding to not say another word to him.
And once you both reached the door, you stood there for a moment with hesitation. You were being an asshole, although it was within right reason, you still felt shitty about it all. After all, he was at least making an effort to walk you back, but it could've just been him trying to have another quick hookup with you again. Because that's all you were to him, at least, that's what it's always been.
He removed his sunglasses from his face and slid them into his back pocket to reveal his soft, brown eyes that wore slight wrinkles at the corners of them. "Can we talk, please?" He tried to meet your eyes that scattered around in your purse to search for your keys.
"There's nothing to talk about, Jake. You made it very clear to me that you wanted nothing to do with me six months ago." You shot your eyes up at him, then focusing on unlocking your door with your keys that fumbled in your frantic hands.
"Can I at least explain myself?"
"Why should I grant you that after all this time?" You stopped your motions and looked at him once more.
"Because I owe you an explanation, y/n." His face contorted into some sort of sympathetic look, with his lips downturned into the slightest frown, and his brows resting close to his eyes.
You swallowed the knot in your throat, flicking your eyes between his own before unlocking your door fully, pushing it open and turning to him. He stood there, trying to make out if this was you allowing his entrance into your apartment. But, when you left the door open after pulling the keys out, he took the opportunity and shut the door behind him as he followed you inside.
You threw your shoes off, your purse to follow next onto your kitchen counter than flopping yourself onto the couch in your small makeshift living room. He watched your tense actions, only taking a few cautious steps towards you, but not enough to meet you at the couch.
"Why didn't you text me?" You stared blankly at the coffee table that sat in front of you. He took a few more steps towards you, finally reaching the arm of the couch, furthest from you. "I know I was just someone you saw every now and then, but it still hurt, Jake. I mean, I spent almost two years seeing you. And then one day, you just stop texting me, stop calling me. I know it's not because you weren't going to be in town anytime soon, 'cause you told me that you would be back in two months."
He brought his hand to his forehead and ran it over the skin. He decided on sitting next to you, but not close enough to make you uncomfortable with his presence.
"Well, I-."
"I want honesty, full honesty, Jake. Don't care if it'll hurt me. Won't make me feel more upset than I already was, or am, I guess." You gestured with your hands then folded them together and waited for his response.
He nodded and hesitated with a swallow before meeting your eyes. "Felt like it went on too long for it to not mean anything. I realized I was starting to grow feelings for you, get attached - all that stuff," he paused, "and I at first I wasn't looking for romance, mainly because I'm usually never home for long periods of time. And, well, I didn't want to put you through a relationship that would have been hard to start with me on the road all the time." He shrugged.
You didn't know how to react, so your face went through a multitude of reactions to his words and finally reserving to an astounded one. After all this time, he felt the way you did, but he was right. It was hard to make something out of your guys' casual hookups when he was on the road for most of the time.
"You could've at least told me." You refused to believe that that was the end of it. That there should've been a reason for you to still be upset with him.
"I didn't know how to tell you, y/n. I didn't want to end things, but that seemed like the only solution." His lips pressed tightly together, hanging his head low and giving you a weak shrug. "I feel like an asshole for it, believe me. So, when I saw you in the bar, I knew I had to say something. And all I can really say is that I'm sorry."
You scrunched your eyes tightly together, eyebrows pulled tightly together. "Instead of texting me you chose to just wait until you saw me again?"
"Would you have responded to me if I did?" His eyes landed on yours again, and all you could do was stare at him for a moment, before hanging your head down and sighing deeply. "I felt like it would be more meaningful rather than texting you. Besides, I've missed you...and your voice."
You couldn't have let him in this easily. Your heart had started to remember the familiar beat that it had taken when you would be with him, how it felt when you were with him. You knew you were still upset with Jake, but you couldn't push the feeling that crept from your gut and into your heart.
"I can't accept your apology. You can't just waltz back into my life after all this time and expect everything to be okay between us. It doesn't matter that I was just some girl you had sex with time and time again, it's the fact that you completely cut all contact with me and come back expecting me to be at your feet. Can't believe you think I'd forgive you that easily." You exhaled through your nose. "Thanks for walking me back home and telling me this, but I think you should go now."
He cocked his brow, seemingly confused that you didn't just accept his apology and, conclusively, you two were on good terms now. He knew that it wouldn't be easy to gain any sort of sympathy or trust from you, but he had at least hoped that some part of you would let him back into your life or give him some kind words to remember you by.
But the truth was, this wasn't the last time he wanted to see you. He spent those six months missing you, regretting not shooting you a text. He figured his time was up, and it was too late for him to apologize to you. He just needed to see you again, to tell you how he felt, to see that you understood how terrible he felt.
But his words weren't enough, and as stubborn as he was, he figured that was all he could give you.
So, he stood up from your couch, and you followed him to the door with slow strides behind him while watching as he reached for the doorknob before turning to you.
"Thanks for letting me come in for a few." He gave you a singular nod. His voice was low into a whisper, voice laced with slight regret that matched the paining feeling his heart was filled with.
"And thanks for walking me home," you folded your arms together, "and apologizing." You said with a dragged breath.
He released his hand from the doorknob, turning his body towards you and flicking his eyes between your lips and your eyes.
Within a swift motion, he grabbed your face with his hands and pressed his plush lips onto yours harshly, but then melting the kiss into a softer, more meaningful one. He had missed the way your lips tasted, and you hated to admit it, but you missed his mouth on your own. The way his calloused fingers found themselves tangled into your hair. The way he sharply inhaled at the first kiss that always gave you the same gut feeling as it did the moment his lips met yours for the first time.
As much as it would satisfy you to say no, push him away and make him feel regretful of his choices more than he already had, you couldn't deny how your heart banged against your ribcage with need. Your body language told you the opposite of what your mind felt, but your brain began to mush all those hatred thoughts down and bring you back in time for a moment. You were back to how you always felt when he finally came back home and visited you - none of this was foreign to you. It wasn't a rewarding feeling that you had gone back to your old ways so quickly, but with his mouth on yours, you no longer wanted to deny how much you desperately wanted him back anymore.
You unfolded your arms and placed one hand on his back, and the other on his chest to push him far enough for you to look at him. The quick change of the mood had you forgetting for a moment why you were upset with him. All you could think about was how it felt for him to be this close to your body, how his lips fit onto yours in the perfect way they always had, how his hands knew where to touch you and where to travel on your body as if they never left there before.
"I still hate you, Jake." You ran your hand down his chest with a small smirk creeping onto your lips. You tried to bite it back, but the muscles of your face were controlling your expressions in ways you didn't want to show.
"I know. Still wasn't going to miss my chance to kiss you again." He rested his forehead upon yours and releasing a soft chuckle.
"You've always been kind of an asshole, huh?" Your eyes lifted through your lids and met his.
"Some things never change."
And you realized how true his words were. Not with him being an asshole, but with your feelings. After all this time, you still missed him deeply. And now you had him right here with you, and who knows when the next time would be when you would see him again, if there were to be a next time. But with the newly found news that he started to grow feelings for you, you had a bit of hope inside of you to trust that he'd finally make up his mind with deciding whatever it was between you guys. After all, you couldn't mistake the chemistry between you two.
You pulled him back onto your lips with your hand pressed onto the back of his head and your other arm snaked around his neck, opening your mouth against his and accepting his invitation to invade your mouth with his tongue.
He slipped his shoes off, not daring to break from your lips as he quickly unbuttoned whatever buttons were left clasped together on his shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders. You were given the opportunity to feel the smooth skin you had missed laying your fingers upon, scratching at his back when the time was right. But for now, you just let one hand run up his toned chest, then crawling its way to his broad shoulders to try and soak up the memory of how his skin felt under your touch.
His lips traveled to your jaw, his hands landing on your hips and pulling them closer to his own as his mouth sucked at your neck. You let your head tilt back as he continued to sink his teeth delicately into the skin, your mouth dropping open and releasing a relieved, pleasurable sigh.
His fingers trailed to the hem of your tank top, tugging at it a few times as his mouth left a few more open, sloppy kisses below your jaw and then finally giving in to throw it over you when your arms involuntarily threw themselves up to help him out. Your eyes fluttered shut once his mouth traveled down from your jugular and to the top of your breast, one hand massaging the other.
"Jake," you moaned, your hands traveling into his hair and then to his chin to bring him up to eye level.
"What?"
"We're not doing this out here." You shook your head with a giggle. He gave you a puzzled expression, but then relaxing it into a knowing smirk that told you he knew what you meant.
His lips met yours again, placing an open-mouthed kiss with a deep groan bubbling in his throat. "Was thinking about bending you over on the counter. That alright with you?" He spoke into your lips.
"If we're doing this, we're doing it my way. Since, y'know, I'm letting this happen." You slotted your lips with his once before cocking your head to the side.
"Fair enough." He shrugged. He bent his knees, lifting you into his arms with a slight grunt and carrying you over to where your bedroom was.
He landed you onto the bed, you immediately scooting backwards with a giggle as he crawled with you, finding your lips again and dragging his tongue alongst your bottom lip.
"Did you think I was going to let you fuck me on my counter?" You laughed into his lips, to which he switched to trailing his mouth down your neck.
"Was worth a shot. Figured you missed me enough to not really care." He hummed against your ear, then dragging his tongue along the side of your neck.
You moaned lowly, a hand finding its way into his hair. "It's cute that you think I missed you."
He raised himself from your neck, planting his hands on either sides of your head and looking at you with an open-mouthed smirk, tilting his head to the side and examining your face.
"Oh, I must be mistaken then for thinking that you are letting this happen because you missed me. Forgot how much you hated me." He widened his eyes for a moment with playful sarcasm.
"Just shut up and kiss me, 'kay?" You said with an eyeroll and pulled his lips back onto yours with both of your hands on his cheeks.
He hummed into your lips, tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth and dragging it out of your kiss, then pressing another kiss onto your lips before making his way to your breasts.
You lifted your back and unclasped your bra, throwing it off to the side and keeping your hands tangled in his hair, but eventually letting one hand run off to his toned back and tracing his spine as his lips wrapped around your hardened bud. His tongue circled your areola, humming as he held your other nipple between his fingers and twisted at it lightly. Your chest raised into his mouth and touch, head tilted back and mouth exhaling light moans of satisfaction.
Your rapid breathing became more apparent to you once his mouth traveled down your body and you watched your chest rise and fall quickly with every step he got closer to your shorts. He looked up at you through hooded eyes for approval, and you lifted your hips for him and allowed him to pull them off of your legs while he rested on his knees. His eyes flicked down to the exposed era, rubbing his lips together and deciding to crawl back up to you and cradling your face into a kiss while his other hand held at your waist.
He let his thumb knead into your hip bone as your body involuntarily bucked your hips into him, sending him to groan into your lips. His hand snaked between your connected bodies, parting from your mouth just to watch how your face contorted pleasurably as he dragged his fingers up your slit. Your eyes met his at his actions, and you saw how his mouth hung open similarly to yours with a soft smile, just in awe at how perfect you looked when under his touch.
You tugged at your bottom lip once he started to circle your clit. Your head had rested back into the pillow and your hips lifted into his motions, finally allowing yourself to release any noises that escaped your lips. You no longer cared how needy you sounded. All you could feel was his fingers on you and the blankets that rested beneath you, along with his jagged breaths that hit your nose.
"Feel good?" He asked as if he needed an answer. All you did was whine in approval, rolling your head onto your shoulder and focusing on the movement of his calloused fingertips.
He pressed another kiss onto your lips as he slid a single finger inside of you and curling it. Your mouth gasped onto his, eyes opening and seeing that he was watching you attentively. You couldn't help but swear under your breath, gripping at his shoulders and digging into them with your nails.
And another finger slid into you, pumping in and out of you at a moderate pace just to let your high build up slowly. He wanted to savor this moment with you, just to remember how you looked while his fingers curled inside of you.
"You missed me a little, huh?" He pressed a kiss onto your ear.
"Shut up, fuck." You whined. "Do you ever stop talking?"
He chuckled, lifting his head back in front of yours. He knew your question was rhetorical, but still chose to respond anyways. "Just like seeing you try talking to me when my fingers are inside of you."
"How romantic." You followed with another swear, rolling your eyes back as he continued to hit that sweet spot inside of you with each time his fingers reentered.
"Don't gotta tell me you missed me. I know you did, y/n." He said cockily into your lips as he picked up his pace on his fingers and pressed his thumb into your clit.
You let your lips relax into a smile, tugging at your bottom lip and suppressing your pathetic whines of his name. You had let his name slip of your mouth once or twice, which spurred him on more, but you still weren't going to give him the satisfactory feeling of knowing that his name was the only thing that you could say.
Your nails dug deeper into his shoulder and one hand rested at his face. Your head had rested itself onto his and you tried to kiss him, but your mouth preferred to just moan sounds of euphoric bliss while his fingers worked inside of you. You seemed to not have any force in your body to lift your head up and press your lips onto his, but that didn't matter. It was gratifying enough just to lose your vision in his eyes while he watched you intently.
He knew you were close to finishing by the way your walls sucked him in a bit easier, the way your eyebrows furrowed and then relaxed. The way your whines grew louder. It was all familiar to him. He had never forgotten how your body worked, even after all his time. Your body was a temple he praised, and he thought deserved appraisal.
He still liked talking you through it, despite you telling him to keep his mouth shut. He knew you better than to not stop himself from speaking. You craved the specific tone of his voice that would only be apparent in such an environment.
"Gonna cum for me sweet girl, yeah?" He spoke with a grumble in his throat, and airy moans that lifted the corners of his lips into a small smile.
You nodded with a hum as the familiar, tingling sensation knotted into your stomach, and your entire body tuned to his fingers and the way he watched over you in adoration. Those damned hands of his that worked magically inside of you each time, and you shunned yourself in your mind for forgetting how he was the only man to ever bring you to your release effortlessly.
Your back arched off of the bed as your eyes squeezed shut, releasing a loud moan of his name and a few swears tumbling out of your mouth incoherently. He slowed his fingers, coaxing you through your orgasm and watching you come down from your high that had you seeing white. Your legs quivered with each light curl he placed onto your sacred spot and slowly rubbing at your clit to drain you of any energy you had left in your body.
He pressed a kiss onto your temple, removing his fingers from inside of you and raising them to his lips. He admired his glistening fingers, twisting his wrist and letting the moonlight aluminate the sight.
"Open that pretty mouth for me." He pressed his fingers onto your lips, to which you obliged and wrapped your mouth around his fingers, sucking softly as he rested them on your tongue. His eyes fluttered at the feeling of your tongue cleaning his fingers, and he released them from your mouth and pressed a gentle, but passionate kiss onto your lips.
He stood from the bed, keeping his eyes locked with yours and unbuckling his belt. He slid off his dress pants and briefs followed with the motion. Your eyes landed on his hand stroking over himself while lightly squeezing at the tip that was decorated with a salty bead of precum. He was a perfect portrait in front of you; his eyes landed onto your bare breasts as he continued pumping himself slowly, then choosing to meet your eyes with his that were hooded with lust.
He crawled on top of you, pulling your hips closer to him once he rested onto his knees and bringing your legs to wrap them around his waist. You had no fight in you to disobey the motions, as much as you wanted to take control for once and watch him diminish pleasurably under you. But as he lined himself up with you, dragging his plump tip down your slit to soak up the wetness that he helped produce from you, you just begged with a light whine for him to continue. His eyes met yours as he pushed just the tip into your sensitive entrance and waiting patiently to see how you whined from the light stretch that was unfamiliar to you for too long of a time. But as he braced himself on his hands, then reserving one hand to the top of the headboard, he fully sunk himself into you with a light groan of satisfaction.
His hips rolled into you slowly with his bottom lip tucked under his front teeth. He swore under his breath as he lowered his head down. It had been forever since this feeling graced him, and he didn't want to escape it too soon. Frankly, you didn't either. Although your body was pleading for the friction to not occur, the tingling sensation that was painful grew into a pleasurable one that you didn't want to stop.
His silver jewelry dangled in front of your face, and it seemed like it was a call for you to tug onto it. So, you pulled on the necklaces and brought him down to you, opening your mouth on his with a loud sigh in desperate attempt to kiss him. He met the movements of your lips with a deep exhale and his eyes shutting tightly. The friction between you two had him grunting into your lips and bringing his mouth to your ear just to allow you to hear the words that muttered from his mouth.
"Fuck," he groaned, "you gonna tell me you didn't miss me now?"
You released a light whine that came out more breathlessly than you intended. "No, no Jake."
He hummed with satisfaction. As he placed a kiss onto your ear, he said, "good girl, good fucking girl."
That nickname he used to call you had you trembling around his hips. He knew that those sacred words had you falling under a lustful spell, and you were lost in the trance of the feeling of him pounding into you with a deep, but quick pace. You were no stranger to how rough he liked to be with you, but in this moment, he didn't want to start it out like that. He wanted to show you that you were meant to be treated preciously, only granting you delighted feelings that you deserved.
He brought his head up from the crook of your neck after spending time moaning against the skin of it with open-mouthed kisses. He titled his chin down to you with his mouth parted open. His eyes fluttered close just for a moment at the feeling of your nails digging into his lower back, which only made him buck his hips into you with more aggressive force. As much as he wanted to savor in this moment, your impressions that your nails were creating only told him otherwise.
He brought his hand that gripped tightly onto the headboard of your bed and brought it to your neck in attempt to force you to look up to him. The lewd sounds that curated between yours and his's skin contact brought you back out of your fucked state, along with the light grip around your throat.
You looked up to him as tears brewed at the sides of your eyes. You followed with a loud, breathless whine of his name, stirring him into a craze and groaning a deep hum that only told you he was enjoying your voice.
"Keep making those pretty sounds for me, sweetheart." He lowered his head down to you more. The position for him was only a bit uncomfortable, but with the friction of him sliding in and out of you, that was the last thing on his mind. "Tell me you missed me."
You tried to roll your head back in slight aggravation that he was still desperate to hear you say that, but his grip only tightened on your throat and forcing your head up as his fingers pressed onto the back of your neck. "Jake-."
"Y/n," he whined, "I missed you. Missed all of you, so fucking much. Missed fucking you and hearing you, missed everything. You wanna be a good girl and return the favor by telling me you missed me, too?"
"I missed you, fuck!" You threw your head back with enough force to battle his hand, gripping onto his waist tightly that you were sure was going to draw blood from the imprints. "I missed you, Jake." You said breathlessly, looking up to him with a small pout in attempt to mask your pleasured cries.
His lips curled into a devilish grin. He had finally gotten you to say what he wanted to hear from you all night. He was utterly satisfied with your words. "Wasn't that hard, huh?"
You let out a huffed laugh, shaking your head. His hand moved back up to the headboard with his arm raised up on the side of your face. All you could mutter was his name, and that was enough for him.
He looked down at you with blown eyes, dark and filled with the necessity to chase his release. You warned him that your own was approaching quickly, and he continued his thrusts at a relentless pace. You felt as though you were losing your hearing, with his loud groans snapping you back into reality and watching him unravel from above you.
"Cum with me, sweet girl, come on, shit." He said through gritted teeth. You tightened your legs around his waist to hold him there, filling him with the quick realization you wanted him to stay inside of you and fill you with his release.
His thrusts became lazy, dragging them out at an unsteady pace as his orgasm overtook his body. He threw his head back with his eyes rolled into the back of his head, then looking down to you with shaky breaths exhaling through his panting mouth. He continued to drive you to your release, that followed shortly behind, having your legs tremble around him and your back arching up from the bed.
You fell onto the mattress with sigh as your legs removed themselves from his waist and stayed propped up at his sides. He placed a quick kiss upon your damp, sweaty forehead before removing himself slowly with his eyes squinted tightly.
He glanced down at your entrance and noticed his cum dripping from your entrance. He dared to bring his hands to your slight and watch the liquid slowly fall, although you squirmed from his touch. He just looked at you with admiration, smirking up to you and picking himself up from the bed and made his way to your bathroom that stayed just outside of your bedroom.
He came back with a white hand towel in his grasp to clean you up. You always enjoyed the tender care he took with you, especially post-sex. Even though your vision told you to shut your eyes, you didn't dare to look away from him cleaning you gently and pressing light kisses on the insides of your thighs.
"Are you," you breathed, "are you leaving me tonight?"
He looked up to you with his eyebrows quirked up. "No, I'm not leaving you, y/n. Don't plan on leaving you again. That okay with you?"
You vigorously nodded without a single thought. You were no longer upset with him, especially after how he had sent you through two pleasurable orgasms and spoke to you with appraisal. You knew he meant it. You knew he was truthful as he brought you into his arms with your head rested into his chest that glistened with light sweat.
"I'll never forgive you if you do, you know that?" You looked up to him. He met your eyes and gave you a small smile.
"So, you don't hate me anymore then?"
You shook your head with a quick roll of your eyes. "Less than I did before. It's gonna take you a little longer to fully gain my trust back and forgive you."
He gave you a single nod of understanding. "Thankfully, I have a ton of time to make all of this up to you." He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and tugged you closer to his chest as a signal that he wanted to get some rest, and have you fall asleep in his arms. And, hopefully, this would be how you two would spend all of your nights together.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
taglist: @gvfpal @sacredjake @joshkiszkas @joshysgirl @jakesguitarsolo @joshismulletdaddy @char289 @ohgodthefeeling-gvf
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gretavanlace · 1 year ago
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Poppins (part 9)
Josh Kiszka x reader
18+ only! Minors do not interact!
Warnings: graphic sexual content, illusions to sex & oral sex, angst, language, brief discussion of suicide, dirty talk, deception, alcohol consumption, etc
The wine has loosened his tongue only slightly, while yours remains nearly untouched, and your tongue bitten quiet. The glass in your shaky grip having been reduced to something to merely occupy your hands - lest you grab him up to dramatically demand answers that, in truth, you really aren’t owed at all.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he chuckles softly, staring at the golden liquid he is now sipping on for courage.
How very unlike him. He is normally so well spoken. Even when touching upon subjects he knows little about, he is eloquent and honest, posing well thought out questions, eager to engage, hungry to banter, excited to learn.
His voice, always so soothing and pacifying; almost tranquilizing in its melodic cadence…now carries a small tremor. Does he fear your reaction to the truth? Or does he simply fear speaking the words aloud might solidify a truth he wishes wasn’t so?
Rather than ask, you remain hushed, and wait with painted on patience.
“The night I slept with her wasn’t the worst night of my life.” He finally sadly sighs, leaning back against the couch as though getting comfortable for the long haul. “In fact, I was so drunk I don’t even really remember it aside from bits and pieces. Doesn’t that make me sound like an asshole?”
You choose honesty, “Yes.”
He smiles over at you, thankful you refused to deny him, warts and all. “The next morning is what I really can’t stand to think about. Sometimes even now, it’ll all come back to me out of nowhere - how it felt when I opened my eyes against the pounding in my head to find her lying there beside me. When I realized what I had done to him. When I knew nothing was ever going to be the same. I have never, ever, considered taking my own life, but in that moment, if I had held a gun in my hand, I think I might have used it.”
The thought alone ruins what little appetite you might have had, and you know with certainty that the sushi rolls are doomed to spoil on the table.
“Probably on her first, and then on myself.” He shrugs, “I hated her almost as much as I hated myself for it. Hate myself for it. How could we fucking do that to him, you know? Monsters. Both of us.”
“‘He never has to know.’ She said, staring at the ceiling, refusing to look at me - which I was absolutely glad for. Her voice was innocent, like she was friends with woodland animals and dwarves. It made me sick that she could sound so sweet while we were still naked beneath my sheets. It made my stomach turn like I’d just stuffed myself full of a cake baked with too much sugar. I wanted to vomit. I wanted her to shut up.”
How differently they’ve spoken of her voice. Selfishly, you prefer Josh’s loathsome version over his brother’s wistful description.
“And I agreed, like a fucking coward, I agreed. I said, ‘Ok.’ That’s all. O-fucking-kay. Like she had just suggested a new diner for lunch or something equally mundane.”
You want to reach for him, to stroke his face, smooth his curls, to tell him everything will be alright. To somehow convince him it was all a bad dream, simply to erase the anguish that has vibrated to life in his eyes. Instead, you sit still and quiet, and let him go on.
“Betray my brother worse than I already have? Okay.” He scoffs, self disgust heavy on his tongue. “I said, okay.”
It’s silent for a few beats while he goes off somewhere alone in his head. Somewhere you don’t care to visit. Somewhere he wouldn’t allow you to follow even if you begged him to.
If you asked, he would shake his head and tell you you don’t belong in those memories, gritty with treachery and the ugliest of things. No one goes there with him, not even Jake. Jake visits a hell all his own when he thinks of the way his chest was ripped apart, and who was responsible for the wounds.
“Anyway, you know all that.” He taps your knee with a soft, sorrowful smile. “And while I don’t know exactly how much he told you about what went down, I do know that he told you that I eventually did confess my sins. I know this, because I know he could never stand to make me out to be the bad guy for very long…even though it’s what I deserve.”
You grab his hand up and offer it a squeeze. “We all make mistakes. He’s forgiven you…maybe you should forgive yourself.”
How strange. Last night you had been so furious with him for breaking Jake’s heart. It had seemed reprehensible, unforgivable, horrific…and it is still all those things, but now it has been rendered clear that it is all far from in your hands. There is nothing to be done. It is all just part of their history, which has nothing to do with you. They have navigated waters in which you will never swim, and that’s alright.
It’s okay to let go of what happened then, and consider who they are now, only.
“Yeah.” He nods slowly, “I have, mostly. Sometimes though, it's hard to look at myself in the mirror.”
The refrigerator kicks on, driving home the quiet, and how alone you truly are in the house…a rarity so foreign you aren’t sure how to handle the sudden, dawning realization.
“Anyway,” he sighs, at last, dragging his palms up and down his thighs - a gesture so like his brother’s you might be able to believe you’re sitting beside Jacob if you didn’t know better. “He waited it out. Lurked around in the grass like a fuckin’ snake until he found his moment. I earned the strike, though…and I deserved the venom, so…”
Soft as a whisper hushed in a theater, you find the will to pry “What happened, Josh…will you tell me?”
“Damn, sweetheart…” he grins, jutting in chin upwards in order to glare lovingly down the perfect bridge of his nose at you “You know how to get what you want, don’t you?”
“I don’t—“ your confusion scatters your thoughts for a breath “I don’t know what you mean.”
He leans forwards and drifts his lips across your cheekbone softly, tenderly, delicately, as if he worries over breaking you. “‘Will you’, you said. Like you want it…and I can’ t deny you. You want, you ask, I give…it’s just that simple.”
You can feel heat coaxing an embarrassing pink to life in your cheeks, “Okay, tell me then, don’t deny me.”
Should you use his devotion against him? Maybe not. Definitely not. But, this is why you’re both sat upon this couch, after all, isn’t it?
He grabs a sushi roll and shoves it in his mouth, likely to buy himself a little time. Finally, after a dramatic swallow, he shakes his head. “That fuck broke my heart right back. Eye for an eye was always kind of our motto, so I guess I should have seen it coming. I didn’t though, because what he thought was his revenge wasn’t the arrow in my heart he thought it would be.”
On you wait, as he gathers his thoughts, or plucks up his nerve. The grandfather wall clock that hangs in the hall, gifted to him after his grandpa passed, keeps time with its incessant tick, tick, ticking. He hates that clock, says it reminds him too much of his own mortality, the way it ticks the seconds and chimes the hours…but it would sadden his father to know this, so on his wall it will hang.
That is the Josh that makes sense to you. Selfless and fierce in his love for those lucky enough to bask in it. He is so much more familiar than the imagined Josh, lying in bed with his brother’s whole world beside him.
“I was in Flint for the weekend for a conference, and she stayed to keep an eye on the place for me. He showed up here, and I doubt she put up much resistance. Jake has this way about him, always has. He can just look at a woman and make her long for him. I’ve seen it a hundred times.” His gaze shifts to you with a gentle half-smile, “Some of those times have hurt worse than others, though.”
He’s speaking of you, and you feel ashamed. How many times has he watched you swoon over his twin, how many times has it made him angry? Worse, how many times has it made his heart ache?
“When we were younger, we used to do this dumb thing to mess with our mom,” he laughs softly and you feel yourself relax, “We’d sneak off into one room or another while she was busy with something else and we’d turn all the pictures on the wall upside down. It was stupid, and sometimes it would take her a day or two to notice, but it drove her crazy. We thought it was the funniest thing, watching her get so pissed off.”
“Idiots.” You laugh with him, picturing how pleased they must have been with themselves. “I don’t know how your poor mother put up with you two.”
“We did it with the furniture once, too.” He confesses, smiling wide at the memory. “Turned the couch and the end tables upside down. The coffee table, loveseat, the whole deal. Anyway…”
His sunny smile fades, “That’s how he let me know where he’d been. I came home Sunday night and noticed a single picture on the bedroom wall had been turned upside down.”
You’ve been in his room enough times to know that a picture still hangs that way, though you’ve never asked why.
He sees your gears turning and nods, “I left it like that not to remind myself of what he did to me, but of what I did to him.”
“I never brought it up to her, but I saw him a few days later - stopped by his place because I missed him more than I hated what we had done to each other. He looked like shit…almost as bad as when he’d learned that she maybe didn’t love him as much as he loved her.”
The memory of Jake describing the hole he had crawled into creeps into your head and you want to claw it out.
“What I said to him really isn’t important,” he shrugs, looking at you as if he’s pleading to be let off the hook. He doesn’t want to share, and you won’t ask him to.
“The long and the short of it was that he really did nothing that was too terrible. We’d always been that way with each other; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But, I didn’t love her. He didn’t hurt me by sleeping with her. It stung a little, but that’s only because I’ve got an ego to coddle, that’s all.”
He swallows the last of his wine as his hand, warm and steady now, finds yours. “What hurt came later.”
“Lily?”
“Lily.”
“I hadn’t seen her mother in weeks when she called to tell me she was pregnant.” His eyes are distant and misted, but his thumb sweeps back and forth along your own to prove he’s still with you. “I couldn’t be certain the baby was his, but I was damn sure certain it wasn’t mine. Didn’t tell her that, though. And maybe I should have. Maybe I should have said something right away, but I just couldn’t. If she was going to lie and say the baby was mine, I was going to run with it. I wanted Lily from the second I knew she was on her way. Wanted her more than anything I had ever wanted anything before, even though I knew the truth.”
Your confusion spurs you on, and you can no longer stay mum “But how could you know? I mean, sure, she might have been Jake’s, or whoever’s, but she could've just as easily been yours, right? I mean,”
“No.” There’s a finality in his tone that quiets you instantly. “She isn’t mine, and I knew it from the start.”
“But…”
He talks over you, but he does so gently, “I hadn’t told anyone, mostly because I didn’t want it to be true…all I’d ever wanted was to be a dad, to have a little family to come home to every night. A boring, lovel, little life. Even now, Jake is the only one who knows. I should have told you, especially given how I want things to be for you and I, and I’m sorry for that.”
You think you know where he’s headed with this, but to misread anything in this moment is something you can’t risk, so you wait him out while he struggles to find the words.
When he finally finds them, they tumble out in a rush before he loses his nerve. “I knew she wasn’t mine because I can’t have kids. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry…I should have told you. You deserved to know that before things went as far as they have, but I just…I just couldn’t, and I don’t know why. I still can’t stand the thought of people knowing. For it to be fact. For it to be real.”
A million and one questions are racing through your head. Why can’t he? How does he know? How long has he known? Is he sure? Why he’s apologizing for something so devastating and completely out of his hands? Why he’s apologizing to you? Does he see you that way? As someone who he’d give his babies to if only he could? Does he love you that way? Do you love him that way?”
But the agonized shadows in his eyes tell you that this is hard enough for him. That he might fall apart if you unleash an interrogation upon him in his cozy little living room over wine and a neglected dinner.
“Say something.” He finally whispers, taking your hand in both of his now. “Please, say something.”
“I’m so sorry, Josh…” you squeeze your fingers tighter between his, lacing them further to ground him “I didn’t know. I’m so, so, sorry.”
You watch the terrorized tension drain out of his body. Had he expected you to be angry? To tell him that whatever this is between the two of you is over? You don’t know it, but yes, he did. He expected that, and worse.
“Sweetheart,” he blinks away tears as he calms and attempts to offer you a smile.
He’s trying to find a way to explain how much it means to him that you’re still sitting beside him, but you shake your head, silently promising that he doesn’t need to say anything at all.
“So now you see why I went along with it.” He continues, at last…words shaking and raspy with emotion. “I loved that little girl from the moment I knew she existed, and I wanted her. God, how I wanted her. I didn’t give a shit about biological this and that, she was mine from the word go.”
The love that undulates from every cell in his body when he speaks of her is maternal. The fierce, instinctual, protective devotion is palpable. He would ride straight into the fiery, miserable pits of hell to find her without a second of hesitation. He would die in her stead a thousand times over. He would do anything, anything, for her. It’s a love like you have never seen, and it is beautiful.
“So, like I said before, I moved her in straight away.” He shrugs, “She wanted to lie, and I wanted her to lie. Everyone was happy. The first ultrasound told me all I needed to know. Something about the way she moved, floating around in there, was so Jake. But, still, I didn’t say a word.”
“When did you finally tell him?” You hush, reaching up to stroke your fingers along the sharp curve of his jaw.
“At the hospital.” This memory in particular is a difficult one for him, you can read it clearly in his expression. “She looked exactly like us. She looked like him. Still, I hadn’t planned on telling a soul what I knew to be true until he showed up to meet her. Watching him hold her, the way he looked at her…”
He falters with a shuddering breath, “I just couldn’t keep that from him. He knew it was a possibility, he isn’t an idiot. But, she was his and he deserved to know. So I waited until we were alone, watching over her through the nursery window, and then I just told him. He looked at her for the longest time, so tiny and fragile, so real, and then pulled me into one of those crushing hugs of his - you know the ones - and he said,”
Now the words are so caught up in his tightened throat he has to fight to speak them, “He said, ‘congratulations, brother, you’re gonna be a fucking fantastic dad’.”
He laughs a little, “Then he knocked on the glass to get the attention of the nurse and demanded another visit with his niece. That was that.”
“He knew she was yours.” You whisper, in awe of their bond, of their tempestuous love for one another. “He knew where she belonged.”
“Or,” he argues just as softly. “He just couldn’t stand to take my only chance away.”
“Yes,” you agree, “maybe so.”
“He tried to stay away, I could tell. I could feel it from across town, the way he’d be holed up in his apartment fighting not to come over and see her…so I’d call him with excuse after excuse just so he could live with being here so often.”
The love in Josh’s heart, the empathy, never fails to floor you and make you weak for his strength.
“Then, after Lil’s mother left, he practically moved in. He helped with everything. We took turns waking up with her, not that it was that far of a stretch since she slept in either my arms or his. He gave her a bath every night in the kitchen sink, and I swear to god I’ve never seen him happier than when he was shampooing her little head. It all changed when she started to talk and directed one of her first little ‘da-da’s’ at him.”
He leans forward to refill your glasses, and you’re grateful for it, the haze of a tiny buzz might cushion the emotional blows being dealt.
After a long pull at his resiling, he goes on, “I argued with him when he told me he was going back out on the road. Told him everything would work itself out, but he fucking leveled me one night. She’d been sick, running a little fever, so we were both awake to keep an eye on her and he said ‘I can’t do this anymore, Josh. She’s yours, but every fucking day I wish that wasn’t true a little bit more. I need some distance, and I need it now.’ So, I let him go without a fight, how could I not?”
“She was lucky to have so much love, “ you offer, honestly. “She still is.”
“And you say I’m the eternal optimist.” He watches your mouth, but only for a blink. “No one knows, or even suspects. Honestly, I don’t think either one of us ever expected to tell another soul. And, you know, maybe I shouldn’t have laid this on your doorstep…but like I already said, he would have told you eventually. I don’t know how I know that, but I know that.”
“You’re right,” you lean in closer, pulled by the magnet force of all the truth he’s trusted you with, nose to nose, but there’s something innocent in the proximity. Something that says, this might lead somewhere tonight, this might lead nowhere tonight. “He told me he would have.”
His hand is wrapped loosely around the side of your neck now, holding you in place, “You asked him about it? What did he tell you?”
“Nothing.” Your lips are nearly touching, breathing one another’s air, words falling against each other's mouths. You savor him, he’s never tasted more like Josh than he does right now, with everything laid bare. “He told me nothing. He said it was your story to tell.”
“And so tell you the story, I did, sweetheart,” he’s crawling over you now, guiding you back on the couch, staring down at you as he moves with the strangest mixture of something gentle, and something inherently predatory. “And here you are.”
“Yes,” you nod, submitting below him with your hands reaching up to bury themselves in his curls, shivering at the velour drag of his closely clipped sides brushing over your palms. “Here I am.”
When he covers your body with his, pressing you into the couch cushions until you feel hidden and safe, he’s impossibly hard, rocking between your legs until he works a muted gasp from your lungs.
“So pretty, baby,” his praise sets you on fire, “I’m gonna make you sound like a song tonight. I’m going to make you fucking cry. Do you want that, love? Do you want me?”
“Yes,” you nod feverishly, forehead to forehead, “I want you, Josh. I want your fingers, I want your mouth, I want you. Want you inside me.”
“You want my mouth?” You feel his lips curve into a smile that is now flush against your throat. “That sounds perfect. You want me to taste you? To kiss you right here?” He snakes his hand between you and cups at your heat through your pants. “You want me to suck this beautiful pussy until you can’t stand it anymore? You want to cum right on my tongue, sweet girl?”
“I don’t care,” you’re writhing and squirming like a whore and you can’t find the will to worry about it, “just want you, baby…c’mon, Josh, please.”
“I like it when you beg,” his confession rides out on stuttering breaths, “But I can’t seem to deny you long enough to indulge in all that whining for very long. It’s a shame.”
His fingers are working at the button on your jeans as you pump your hips into nothing beneath him when the knock comes at the door.
“Who could…”
He cuts off your wide-eyed question, groaning out a name as he shakes his head in the crook of your neck, “Jake.”
Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @jakesgrapejuice @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @thelvnternskeeper @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @thewritingbeforesunrise @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordie-gvf-admin @calumspretty @gretasmokerising
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ashisill · 1 year ago
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I wait for you
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Warnings: smoking, drinking, crying, mentions of sex, self sabotage, depression, suicidal thoughts, mentions of debating suicidal (it’s mentioned a few times. Please heed the warning if this triggers you), angst, angst, more angst, and being hopelessly in love with Sir Jacob Kiszka.
~This one is a lot, but I am very proud of how it turned out.
~
You and Jake had something special. Something that only comes once in a lifetime. Everyone watched you two, and wished for what you had. He loved you more than himself. More than his iced cold whiskey after a show. More than his beloved guitar. Honestly if you were to need him mid-show he’d drop everything, and run right off the stage for you. He was always running for you. Always looking for you everywhere he went. All you had to do was say his name, and he was there. He was always there. No matter what. You were truly his first priority. His first choice. His first love …. His only love.
You gave it all up. Things got hard, and you ran away. You fucking left it all behind. Your picture perfect life left in a daze. Although it wasn’t all your fault you still blamed yourself. Jake was busy all the time. Between tour, interviews, and traveling. You began fighting all the time. Every little thing was an argument.
You had your last argument in an cold hotel room. You got physical with each other for the first and last time. He never hurt you. He would never dream of it, but when you had enough you landed a smack against him. He grabbed your arms harder than he meant. You left that night, and you’ve regretted your life ever since. Running was worst decision you’ve ever made. How could you leave him? How could you hurt him when he’s treated you so sweetly. You’ve wanted to call you really did. Was it fear that stoped you? Fear of him hating your guts for what you did. You’d rather live in this unknowing pain than bare the thought.
“Jake wake up you’ve been asleep all day” Josh tried to wake his twin. They’ve found themselves in yet another hotel room. “Jake come on. The shows in a couple hours” he said opening the windows, and nudging Jake.
“Cancel it what’s the fucking point?” he said, and you could smell the whiskey on his breath. To see Jake so hateful towards his passion hurt Josh. ‘You drug me into this damn band, and you don’t even want it’ was the thought that repeated in Josh’s mind.
“Jake your drunk get the hell up” Josh said pulling the covers off, and throwing them on the floor. “I’m not doing it again Jake. I’m tired of this. Get the fuck out of the bed” Josh left slamming the door behind him. Where he was going? He didn’t know, but he needed some fresh air. He headed outside to walk the city.
There you were in the local park with your dog, having no idea they were in your town. Josh stumbled into park. The nature fascinating him, and catching his interest. That curly headed boy you loved so much came into your field of vision. As much as he’s changed over three years you knew it was him. “Josh!” You shouted.
He looked around confused, assuming it was another fan. Then he spotted you waving at him “no fucking way”. You bolted after him, and your dog chased you. “What are you doing here?” He pulled you in for a warm, and welcoming hug.
“I actually live here now. What are you doing here?”
“Got a show tonight darling. I missed you”
“I’ve missed all of you dearly. How is everyone?”
“Let me buy you a drink and we’ll catch up”
Meanwhile Jake is unaware of Josh’s discovery, but he knew you were there. He could feel a change in the air … He could feel you. For some reasons things didn’t seem so bad. For the first time in a while he got himself up, and took a shower. He brushed out his tangled hair, and cleaned himself up. Throwing on his favorite pants, and a button down shirt. Complete with some expensive cologne that he can’t remember where it came from.
Josh told you everything you missed in the past three years. You longed to be there for it all. Finally you asked the question that’s been eating at you since the conversation started. “So” you took a drink preparing yourself. “How is he?”
“Jake? Oh he’s fine. Still Jake I suppose”
“Is he? That’s good” you took another drink.
“Do you believe me when I say that he’s ‘fine’?” He said using his fingers as quotation marks.
“I want to yes. Is it white lie Joshua?”
“It’s a big fat fucking lie. He’s not fine. He hasn’t been fine since that night, but that’s not your problem. It’s just hard taking care of him when he doesn’t want to care for himself”
“I miss him a lot. I hate myself for leaving him. I’m not doing so good myself. I don’t even know myself anymore. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body. The world seems so dark without him”
“I’m sorry dear. Jake isn’t much better. As much as I’d love to lie, and tell you he’s happy. He’s not at all”
You wanted to tell him the reason for your outing this morning. The true reason why you were there, but you couldn’t. How could you look him in the face, and tell him you didn’t want to live. How could you tell him hours before you were really debating on staying on this Earth. You could see him reacting strongly. You already knew the things he would say. Maybe even shed a tear with you. He’s already dealing with a lot, and you can see it in his eyes. You just couldn’t do it.
“What’s the matter?” He could still read you well.
“It’s just a lot, but I’m okay” lair how could you? He sees straight through it you know he does. He sighs, but doesn’t pry. Instead he simply just changes the subject.
“Have you loved another?”
“Never”
“Never? Not once?”
“Hook ups don’t count. Some of them look like him, but there never him”
“He could say the same darling. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to see him”
“What why not? Please don’t don’t this-”
“I’m not taking him away from you. Just listen to me. He’s not well dear. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. Come see me after the show, and I’ll think about it. Maybe all he needs is you, but I’m holding back for a reason”
“I think I know why, and I understand. Do you promise you’ll think about it” he’s hesitant because if you left again he knows it would kill Jake. There’s no way in hell he would make it out alive. Just the thought of it makes Josh want to crawl away and cry.
“Would I ever lie to you? I just need what’s best for Jake. I’m sure you understand”
“You so good to him Josh. I wish I had someone like you. Caring for me the way you care for Jake”
“That person is in a hotel room about a mile away. Like I said meet me after the show okay?”
You agreed, and said your goodbyes. Returning to your home to find something nice to wear. What used to be Jake’s favorite dress seems like a perfect fit. Josh headed back to the hotel to find his brother. “Jake you better be out of-”
“Yeah” was all he said.
“Feel good today?”
“I suppose so. Where’d you go?”
“Oh ya know for a walk”
“Where’d you go? Terrible liar you are”
“The bar. I’m glad your feeling better today”
He just nodded his head. Josh sighed knowing it’s taking everything out of him not to tell Jake. ‘Your lovers back! Your lovers back! She’s here you don’t have to be sad anymore! Please don’t be sad anymore. She’s here, and she loves you!’he wanted to shout it at him. To see Jake smile for the first time in three whole years. To see his face light up like it once did before. Instead he stayed quiet, and went on about his business. “Can you go check if sam is ready?” He asked Jake.
You did just as Josh said, and after the show he snuck you backstage. “I need you to be really quiet, and not let him hear you. Walls are paper thin darling” he said locking the door behind him. “I need you to answer me completely honest”
“Okay what’s up?”
“Your gonna stay?”
“A part of me died that day. I can’t go through this again. I fucking miss him Josh! I would go through hell again just to hold him one more time. I’d break all my bones if that’s what he wanted. If he asked for the moon I’d bring it to him. The stars too. He’s my world Josh need him back. I need his love. I need his touch. I need him Josh I need him. This morning I didn’t want to live any longer without him. The scary part is I almost fucking did it. That’s why I was at the park. I needed air. I needed to breath. Moments before you saw me I was crying on a park bench. Embarrassing I know, but it’s the truth.
“Oh darling no. No sweet girl no”
You broke into tears, and Josh comforted you with a hug. Like you predicted tears started to fall from his own eyes. “We need you here. You belong here. I am so fucking proud of you. Your here. Your alive. To know that life has been so terrible to you that you questioned living. It makes me want to hide away, and shelter you from every bad thing. I know I didn’t tell you this enough, but I love you. I really love you, and I don’t want you to be in pain anymore. Your safe now, and in a few moments everything will be okay again. I promise you. I know how bad your struggling. I see Jake everyday, and it just gets worse. I just want to see him happy again. Your the only solution my darling. I haven’t seen him smile in three years. He’s never excited about anything. He doesn’t have anything to talk about, and he always drunk. Always. When he does speak it’s either to cuss me out, or it’s about you. I know how bad things are, and I want to see you feel okay again too”
“What does he say about me?” You asked as Josh wiped your tears.
“It always starts angry. He’s angry because he wants to be happy again, but he can’t be. Your the light in his life. Then he starts to act like he’s angry with you. Sometimes he’ll cuss you out too. Then he’ll start to cry, and your name is all he knows. When I try to comfort him he’ll ask for you. I’ll say “she’s not here Jake”, and he’ll remember that your gone. He’ll start to think of you, and how he loves you so deeply. He’ll tell me some stories about the two of you before it hurts to much. Normally ends with him crying himself to sleep or getting so drunk he can’t feel you lingering”
“How could I do this to him? Your positive he wants to see me?” You asked trying not to lose your control.
“Come with me”
Josh knocked on Jake’s dressed room, and an annoyed “what?” came with it.
“Can I come in? I have someone you might want to talk to”
‘Could it be her?’. Jake went quiet, and Josh opened the door. There he stood with a cigarette in his fingers. His face dropped, and neither one of you moved. You’ve looked for him in every room, but now he’s here. A rush of adrenaline flowed through his veins. He feels alive for the first time, and all you had to do was walk into the room. Color has returned to his pale face. His eyes once grey, and gloomy now glowing in your light.
You both just stood there questioning if this was real. You broke the cement that glued you to the floor, and ran once again. Straight into his arms this time. Josh knew everything was finally better, and left shutting the door behind him. Letting his back rest against the shut door. His hand covered his mouth as he began to cry once more. Crying because Jake’s gonna be okay again. Because he knows all is well now that your here. Tonight he’ll fall sleep without a single worry. He’ll drift away knowing his brothers happy. Knowing he won’t have to make himself sick from worrying. Or staying up half the night waiting for Jake to come back with some girl that looks similar to you. He’s safe, and Josh can finally breath again.
You gripped, and pulled at each other like this was a dream you were going to wake up from. His hair got longer, he still wears those same old jeans, and he still smells like home.
“I’ve missed you” was all you could manage to say.
“My girl” he kissed your forehead. “Oh my girl”
You buried yourself in his neck fighting back tears. “I thought I’d never see you again. I wanted to call I really did”
“Shh shh it’s okay. I promise”
After all you put him through he’s still forgiving. The pain he’s been in for the three years was nothing just to feel you again. He’s willing to forget this ever happened just to keep you in his arms forever.
“I love you ya know? Time hasn’t changed it a bit”
“I love you too Jake”
His lips were locked on yours immediately. You pulled at each others hair, and the collars of your shirt. Trying desperately to get closer to each other. “Jakey”
“God I’ve missed you calling me that”
“I missed you. I missed you so much”
“I’ve miss you to my love. Do the others know your here?”
“Only Josh”
“Assuming he found you when he went on his supposed ‘walk’ the morning” he said holding your face in his hands.
“Well to be fair he was on a walk, and I found him”
“You found us. You came home. God I’ve missed you. Every day when I wake up your on my mind, and it stays that way till I sleep. Even in my sleep you haunt my dreams every night”
Lips crashing against each others once more. Emotion running through you both. “Why’d you leave me baby?”
“I don’t know Jacob. I don’t know”
His hand wrapped around your neck, and he kissed you hard. “Don’t leave again” his eyes began to water
“I’m here Jake. I’m not going anywhere my love”
He brought you to the small couch in the corner. Tangled up into each other, kissing his neck, and hands wandering each other’s bodies. Wordlessly you agreed to save it for later. Your felt tired like you haven’t slept in years. As you laid on your lover your eyes began to fell heavy. Jake laid their wide awake wondering how you were here. It didn’t feel real, and he held on to you just in case he woke up from this dream.
Josh came back later to tell Jake everyone was headed out. You were passed out on his chest completely unaware. “We’re fixing to leave” Josh whispered at the door.
“Alright” he woke you up gently. “Time to go sleepy girl”
You and Jake took a drive, and enjoyed the city lights. After you hit the bar that was in the lobby, and headed back to the hotel room. Everyone was gathered in the twins room talking about the show.
“Yeah I know. Did you hear how bad I fucked that up?” Josh belted out laughing far louder than he needed to.
Jake swiped the card, and the opened the door. You laughed almost as loud as Josh. As the alcohol hit your system everything was just so damn funny.
“Is that … her?” Sam asked confused.
“Sam look at Jake of course it’s her” Danny knowing immediately by Jake’s smile that it was indeed you.
“Y/n! Y/n! It’s you! Your back!” He shouted.
“Oh my god I’ve missed you Sammy”
“Good to have you back” Danny hugged you tight. You let your self go limp in his arms. “Someone’s drunk huh?”
“Just a little bit Danny”
“Josh check out this record I bought” Sam said already distracted.
“Let’s hear it brother”
It was a soft jazz album of a band you’ve never heard of. Jake’s eyes were fixated on you as you spoke to Danny. He reached out his hand, and you grabbed it with a giggle. He danced around the room with you, spinning you round and round. Stumbling all over the place, and tripping over each others feet. Josh watched in awe as a smile never left Jake’s face.
A little while later after the chatter quieted you collapsed onto the bed. Josh motioned Jake to come to him. They went out to the balcony “I’m proud of you Jacob”
“Thank you for taking care of me for so long. You could of kicked me to the curb. Or let me quit my job, but you didn’t. I’ll never be able to repay you, but know I wouldn’t be here without you”
“I promised you I’d always be here for you. I love you man”
“I love you too bud” they shared a hug before Jake followed you to the bed.
“Tying to escape?” you joked peeking your eyes open at him.
“Now ma’am I thought you were asleep” Jake said kissing your forehead.
You shook your head, and he joined you in the bed. You cuddled up on his side, threw your leg and arm over him, and began to fall asleep.
“Promise we’ll stay like this forever?”
“For infinity my love. I’ll find you in every universe I live I promise”
“I love you Jakey”
“I love you too my girl”
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joshfuckingkiszka · 10 months ago
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𝔇𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰 - 𝔍𝔗𝔎
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jtk x f!reader
I love this song SO much UGH
warnings: alcohol usage, mentions of fwb situation, hickeys, lil angst
THIS BLOG IS 18+ MINORS DNI
taylor's version masterpost
reputation masterpost
Our secret moments in your crowded room They got no idea about me and you
Even though your own gaze had found purchase on the chip in your big toe’s nail polish through your open toed heels, another’s scorched your cheek. His stare was reminiscent of the ones he gave you in the bedroom, and you blushed at the thought. In his deep brown eyes, lay memories of the previous night, which could be found in the left side of your bed, where his shape had stayed because you couldn’t find it in yourself to make it and destroy whatever he had left. 
You found that if you stared for too long, the craving for him would become abhorrently intense. By the smirk on his gorgeous face, you knew that he could see how shaky your champagne-filled hand and your deep breaths had become. 
In your attempt to make it seem like you weren’t staring for too long - don’t attract too much attention - you realized you had lost him in the crowd. That being, before his long finger was tapping you on the shoulder and for a second, your heart stopped. The fear did not cause the abnormal beat, but his presence did, and everything seemed to halt in that moment. 
Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend
“Enjoying yourself, sweetheart?” You rolled your eyes at his saccharine tone. 
Caving in, you answered, “I would be more if there weren’t … such a crowd.” Subtle. 
“I can see how that would bother you.” 
When he offered no explanation, you countered, “How so?” 
“Well those bruises peeking out from under all that makeup on your chest looks like they hurt.” You blushed, covering what only he knew was there. 
“I told you not to be so … obvious with your … affection,” you lightly scolded him, even though you had practically begged him for them. The same way you would probably beg him later on. 
He hummed as a first response, pausing then asking, “New dress?” 
“Mhm.” You took a sip of your champagne, your head swimming despite how little you had drunk. “New other things too.” 
He couldn’t even reply before Josh was pulling him away, apologizing but insisting his presence was required. You scoffed when you saw Jake clearly playing wingman for Josh, some girl hanging off of his arm, and you downed your drink, heading for another. 
At the end of the night, Jake ended up at your apartment once more. The tipsiness was affecting both of you but your drunken kissing was so much more intoxicating. 
Everyone thinks that they know us But they know nothing about
“You’re all mine, you know that?” It wasn’t in the normal dominating tone he donned in the bedroom. There was a softness to him in that moment, and he caressed your jaw as he spoke and even after. 
You looked at him in earnest, wondering how anyone could ever deserve him. “I know Jakey.” 
“I don’t think you do.” He smiled and went back in for another sparkling kiss. He was yours but Jake Kiszka belonged to everyone around him: his brothers, his friends, his fans. 
You needed him like you needed the air around you to fill your lungs, and some part of you hoped he needed you in the same way. It was a selfish thought, of course, but you had given up the most needed parts of yourself to him. Your affection was his, your hope was his, your heart, well, I think you know. 
When your “relationship,” or whatever it was, first started, you had the generic friends-with-benefits rules: no mouth kissing, no staying the night, no feelings etc. However, as time passed, the rules felt arbitrary, and you had both come to ignore them no matter the personal cost. Jake loved the taste of your lips after a night out with your friends. You loved curling up next to him, and, even more, waking up with him. The feelings were there, yet unspoken. The last rite of passage before it became an official relationship, and neither of you were sure when to take that step. You needed him to confirm what you already held as fact. So much that you were willing to almost ruin it. 
Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend
“Danny asked me out.” He was silent, and you watched his eyes harden. 
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “what did you say?” You scoffed. 
He could be so dumb when he wanted to be. “Of course, I said no.” Like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was. 
“Why?” The obvious answer would be that you loved Jake, but that wasn’t even the obvious question. Jake wasn’t asking why you turned his friend down, he was asking why you told him. Truthfully, you weren’t really sure. 
Your throat tightened a bit as you spoke, “I just wanted you to know.”
“Know what, exactly?” He asked with a hum and a sharp inquiry of your name. 
“I-I don’t know, know that he asked. Know that other people are interested. Know that I feel like I’m losing every sense of self the longer I tell myself that one day you’ll man up and tell me that you love me so I don’t have to keep telling myself!” 
Even in my worst lies You saw the truth in me
He softened. “I never meant for that to happen, baby.” Tears had nearly breached the edge of your eye and you wanted them to, to make him feel worse, to know that he made you cry. 
“I don’t want to keep pretending that our relationship is strictly professional, or god, friendly! If it’s a conflict of interest, I-I’ll fucking resign and find something else, but I don’t want to find anyone else to share my heart with, Jacob, I can’t.” I already gave it all to you - went unspoken. 
“Okay,” he spoke calmly as he reached to hold you in his embrace, and you welcomed him. 
“I’m not good at coming up with words on the spot, but I want you to know that every fiber of my being belongs to you, that my soul is yours to keep and cherish for as long as you want. I love you.”
Only bought this dress so you could take it off
〚taglist〛
gvf: @doodle417, @brokenbellz, @gretavanfleas, @pyrojoshy, @greta-van-chaos, @xserenax-13, @hayley1623, @kdarling1, @autumns30, @keighoe, @chalametpwk, @sammysvanfeet, @shawnsthighs, @gretavanbitches, @sammiejane22, @gretavanbestie, @jordierama, @alexxavicry, @spark-my-nature, @rainy-darling
jokey: @loofypoofy, @livkiszka
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jakeysbuttsheeks · 1 year ago
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Knees
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18+ minors DNI
Warnings: cheating, fingering, overstimulation, mature content, profanity
Parings: Jake X fem reader
Word count : 2k
Summary: You and Jake were in a situationship but you ghosted him when you found out your bestfriend was head over heels for him . You meet him a month later at a get-together as your bestfriend's boyfriend .
"what are you doing here?" You gasp when Jake walked into the women's restroom as you stood by the mirror to fix your hair .
"you know what" Jake said as he came behind you as you turned around to face him , standing with your back against the sink , scared of what Jake was wanting to do .
"Jake-" you tried to talk but he pinned you against the sink , leaning in with his hands grabbing the edge of the sink with you between them .
"did you tell her?" Jake asks , giving you space to talk even tho you could tell how desperately he wanted to kiss you .
"why would I do that?" You try to say confidently , raising your chin . He scoffs, looking away with a bitter smile .
He seemed like he had a lot to say but decided he had no time . He instead leaned in to kiss you but you turned away .
"stop being an asshole Jake!" You whisper in panic , not being able to turn to him because you knew he'd try to kiss you again .
"I'm an asshole? You're quite the bitch yourself aren't you ? Letting your best friend's boyfriend pin you down in a public restroom?" Jake said , he sounded angry .
"you walked in-! And you-!" You yell , trying to defend yourself but he cut you off .
"you have hands , you can push me away and tell me to stop" Jake stated in deadpan .
"stop then" you push his stomach slightly making him take a step back involuntarily.
"I don't think you want me to stop" Jake says , looking at you pissed , his eyes dancing down your body before looking back up at your eyes .
"I do" you lied. You and Jake and something between y'all around a month ago but you cut him off when you found out your best friend liked him a lot .
You were devistated when you found out your best friend started going out with Jake later. But you had to pretend you were overjoyed for her .
"oh c'mon! Stop pretending you don't like me. I know you're just pretending because you want to be a good friend" Jake said , making your confidence slowly die out .
"she really likes you Jake" you reason.
"yeah well I don't like her" Jake spat , you didn't know whether to be pissed or happy about that information you just glared at him .
"I only said I'd go out with her so I could hang with you somehow . Since you won't see me otherwise" Jake explained.
"you'll grow to like her" you say .
"I don't want to . Why can't you put your feelings first for once ? Do your feelings not matter to her ?" He asks , his anger growing.
"but she really like you Jake!" you say in frustration.
"and I really like you ! I know you like me too! And that's rare! Are you really gonna bury it just to keep your friendship?" Jake asks , closing in on you again , you looked at your feet in defeat.
Your mouth opened to say something but you stopped when you heard voices of a few girls heading to the restroom door .
"get in the stall" you whisper as you shove Jake into one of the stalls and get into it with him in panic , latching the door as the group of girls came in .
You stood in silence, leaning against the wall with your arms folded on your chest . Jake leaning against the opposite wall copying your stance , staring at you , waiting for the group of girls to leave .
Jake was staring into your soul , looking like he was thinking up a big plan . A plot , like he was going to murder you or something. His eyes angry and dark , his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek .
Once they left , you grabbed the latch to open the door and get out that tiny stall but Jake stopped you . Latching the door again and pinning you against the wall you were just leaning against in barely a second.
Before you could say anything his lips were on yours. You felt a tingle in your stomach . His lips were soft and warm and gentle but desperate at the same time . You were so caught up with the feelings of his lips on yours that you forgot he was your best friend's boyfriend.
You pushed him off you I panic and guilt.
"c'mon y|n . If she really was such a good friend she'd understand" Jake says , caressing his knuckles over your cheekbone before grabbing your jaw and closing in on you again.
"please" he whispered in your ear , his voice almost begging. You felt your knees go weak and your face hot at that .
You don't say anything as he placed a kiss on the side of your neck before leaving deep kisses there. Your eyes rolled back as you tried to think of what to do and How you were going to handle this . But you couldn't focus when Jake was licking and biting into your neck .
You squeezed your legs together involuntarily when you felt his fingers graze at your waistline.
"jake-" you breath as his hand went further down , gripping his shoulders tight, trying to find the strength in you to push him away but you couldn't. All you could do was dig your nails into him .
"I know you want it" Jake spoke into your neck as his fingertips finally rubbed over your heat , causing you to buckle into his hand unexpectedly.
"wait stop-" you barely say . You didn't want him to stop at all . He doesn't hear you as he continued to add pressure as he rubbed your heat , your legs spreading slightly.
"Jake!" You gasp when he rubbed his wrist hard against you , your hips grinding against his movement as he continued kissing your neck.
You were intoxicated. He smelled amazing, his hair was soft and calling for you to pull on it .
"relax sweetheart" Jake breathed as he nibbled your ear , your eyes rolled back at the nickname.
You were lost in desperation when he began undoing your jeans , pulling them down to the floor with your panties.
You saw a fire alight in Jake as he stared down at your naked lower half. He grabbed your leg and threw it around his waist , pressing his crotch to you as he smashed his lips against yours.
Your hands stayed on his shoulders as you gave in to the kiss . He was desperate, asking for permission , pressing you against the wall .
He slipped his hand between the two of your again.Your mouth fell open and you arched into his chest when his fingers slipped between your folds .
You could feel him staring at you like he was savouring each reaction he got out of you .
Your eyes were screwed shut as you wriggled from his touch , trying not to make a sound but your heavy breaths were clear .
"I bet you taste so good" Jake whispers as his eyes look down at his finger rubbing your clit . All you could do was let out a soft whine.
"you want me?" Jake asks , knowing you won't say anything to him . Knowing you were too loyal to your friend to say yes even tho you so desperately did want him.
"I know you do" Jake went faster making your throw your head back and let out a moan , forgetting your surroundings.
Jake kissed your neck again as you tightened your leg around him in desperation.
You moaned out loud, a pathetically desperate sigh as he pushed a finger into you. It felt like you were withering away under his touch .
"Yeah..you like it here don't you?" Jake cooed curling his finger hard into your gspot. You didn't answer him again , all you could do was try to hold in your sounds which you failed to do .
"you're creaming all over my fingers" Jake pulled his finger out making you whine from the empty feeling.
Your eyes widened when he spread out his fingers at your face , his middle finger soaked with your white thick liquids. You'd never seen yourself so wet before.
He sucked your arousal off his middle finger , closing his eyes and humming in satisfaction for a second before sliding his hand back down . He was making you go crazy . You almost didn't feel guilty anymore.
He went back down circling your clit as you felt your legs weaken and your stomach tighten.
"fuck" you spit as he goes faster again edging you to your release . You were gasping heavily.
"close already?" Jake teased , pressing his lips against the side of your cheek as he leaned in .
Your moans cresended as you reached your high , his fingers still gently circling your sensitive bundle as you relaxed yourself from your orgasm, your hips buckling slightly and your thighs shaking.
You cry out a whimper by his ear when he slammed two fingers into you , thrusting them up into your gspot again, his strong hand movements making your body jerk up slightly.
You were sure Jake was going to have bruised up shoulders with the way you were gripping them , but he didn't seem to mind . He was determined to make you feel good . You dropped your head into the crook of his neck as you cried out his name.
"Jake please!" You whine , struggling to hold in your sounds as he rubbed the base of his thumb over your clit while his fingers dug deep inside you . They were thick and .
Your legs began to shake again as you started to wash over your second orgasm . You were moaning out his name and other profanities in desperation and overwhelm.
"cum all over my fingers baby" Jake urged , his lips pressing against your ear . Your eyes rolled back a few seconds later , letting out a gut wrenching moan as you squirted all over his fingers.
He didn't stop , he kept fucking your gspot with his fingers, overstimulating you again . And it some how made you keep squirting. Your liquids gushing out by his fingers and dripping down your legs as you cried Jake's name .
"that's it , that's it baby" He caressed your hair , like he was coaxing you to calm down , a few more last thrusts of his fingers before he slipped out. You moaned in relief as you leg slipped off from around him.
He lifted your head off his shoulder and pressed you flat against the wall again , kissing you timidly and lovingly, sending chills all over your skin .
He nuzzled into your neck , kissing you in a different spot from before.
"D'you know I'd get on my knees for you?" Jake spoke against your skin . You let out a moan at his words .
He broke away from you and you stared at him in a dazed confusion as his height decreased. You realised he was actually getting down on his knees .
Your hand found his shoulders and gripped them again , your eyebrows pinched together and your heat aching from the sight of him looking up at you .
He threw your leg over his shoulder making you grab his hair , messing up the way it neatly fell in his shoulders.
You could feel his breath on your heat as he stared up at you . You were struggling to breathe as you stared back down at him with half lidded eyes.
You weren't sure how you were gonna make it through another orgasm . You already felt like you were getting dizzy by the minute, your ears were ringing and you felt impeccably hot , your legs numb and shivering.
"Jake I can't" you sigh , resting your head back against the wall and closing your eyes as he began kissing your inner thigh . Your fingers loosely gripping on his hair .
"Just give me one more. I know you got it in you" Jake says and it seems impossible to you .
His two fingers gently run over your folds before spreading them apart , exposing your sensitive bundle.
"fuckkk" you groan as Jake kissed your clit , licking it slowing as his eyes closed . You could faintly hear a song start to play from outside the restroom .
You buckled your hips into his face and let out a wail when he started devouring you . His lips , teeth and tongue felt amazing down there.
He gripped your ass tight to prevent you from trying to move as he started blowing raspberry into your slick folds , moving his head from side to side and sucking and his tongue swirled your clit .
You lost all conscious of your surroundings and began screaming, you couldn't even tell if you were saying words or just letting out animalistic noises.
Your stomach became uncomfortably tight to the point tears started to build in your eyes . You were basically sobbing out .
Jake flicked his tongue from side to side all the way up from your hole to the top of your clit , hitting different spots before sucking on your clit .
The sounds that came from Jake working your pussy was so pornographic you would've burst out laughing if you weren't half way to passing out from your third orgasm .
Lucky the band was blasting their song, so no one could've heard you outside the restroom.
"JAKE I CAN'T! I'M GONNA-" you finally spoke words , by he ignored you . You were running out of breath and everything started to go black , you legs shaking violently.
You tried pushing Jake off you but you were too tired . He was hitting just the right spot and you were basically deteriorating .
You cried out as you squirted all over his tongue, and he continued to lap your juices. You felt immense relief wash over you as your eyes rolled back , you didn't realise you were passing out .
"shit y|n!" Jake grabbed your shoulders before you could fall forward into him as you passed out .
He slammed the toilet seat closed and sat you down on it as you fell back onto it limply.
"fuck! Are you okay?!" Jake yelled in panic,He was on his knees in front of you , holding you up . most of the reason he was yelling was because the band's music was so loud .
You were half conscious and you could see him panicking . And it made you realise something wrong .
"y|n I'm so sorry I should've have pushed you" You snapped out of it as Jake apologised .
Little did he know ,that was the best sex you've ever had in the history of sex . And he didn't even need to use his cock .
"I'm fine I'm fine" you breathe as you hold his arms that were holding you up on the toilet .
"you fucking passed out on me . I got so scared!" Jake pulled you into his chest , hugging you tightly.
"that was so amazing" you whisper breathlessly , your body tired and you legs still shaking.
"no fuck- i- it was too much. I'm sorry y|n- I got carried away- I was- I thought-" Jake stuttered you couldn't help but let out a single tired laugh , making him look at you in confusion.
You leaned forward and pulled him into a kiss , he kissed you back tenderly holding your face.
You broke the kiss and smiled at him widely. You were definitely madly in love with him alright.
He rolled out a bunch of toilet paper and cleaned you up , his eyes focused on what he was doing as you stared at him with a red face.
He grabbed your jeans and underwear and helped you dress , standing up on his feet before helping you off the flush to pull your jeans up your waist .
You buttoned and zipped your jeans before looking back up at him as he stood in front of you . He still looked worried and guilty.
"are you sure you're okay?" He asks , dripping in concern .
"I'm the best I've ever been" you smile ,your hand going up to fix his hair that you messed up .
You'd fully forgotten he was your best friend's boyfriend
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gretavanbrie · 1 year ago
Text
Dreadful Reminders // part two (J.T.K.)
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Summary: The brewing tension in your relationship seems to be pulling your love at the seams. What will happen when what is supposed to be happy news, only tears you apart further. Is one mindless phone call the end of it all?
Pairings: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Warnings: angst (like.. hella angst), soft smut (MINORS DNI!!!), heartbreak, crying, feelings of anger, isolation, mentions of alcohol consumption, swearing, sad!Jake, excessive apologies, talks of pregnancy, arguing, soft!Jake, flashbacks that might pull at your heart strings just a smidge, heavy dialogue towards the end, oral f!receiving, light impact play like once if you really squint, nipple play, softdom!Jake, terrible singing (I feel like that deserves a warning lmao), if I missed anything please lmk!!
A/N: This is Part 2!! She is longgg and lengthy so buckle up! If you have not yet read the first part I highly recommend you do so. I want to thank those who read the first part I hope the second does the first some justice, this chapter has a lot more dialogue and context between Jake and y/n. All flashbacks are italicized!!! I do not have a tag list yet so I apologize. I also want to give an honorable mention to my best friend who helped co-write the smut. Without further ado, enjoy!!
Part 1
————————————————————
After the feud you questioned the half decade spent with Jake. Had you done something to push him away? You had a bad habit of blaming yourself for things that were never in your control, but how could he? The situation left you with nothing but guilt and questioning. How were you meant to go through this pregnancy on your own? Desperately craving guidance and clarity.
The minute the door closed behind you, you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of guilt wash over your body. You drug your feet down the paved road to your car slugging your bag along. You felt pathetic for silently wishing he’d come chasing after you, to feel wanted for the first time in what felt like forever. But he never did, he never came running out.
The hole in your chest now a pathetic excuse for a heart.
You opened your car door throwing your bag in the back. You let out a long sigh, throat tight on the brink of tears.. yet again. Resting your head on the steering wheel you replay the events of tonight. You felt silly for being so dramatic, I mean packing up and leaving? Because your feelings were hurt? A part of you knew not to be too hard on yourself, your emotions were at an all time high. That didn’t help the tiny daggers Jakes words metaphorically threw at you.
The question aching in your chest the most is, how are you meant to go through these next 9 months without him. You felt so alone. Where were you even meant to go in the mean time? I mean at least until you could collect yourself and contact someone. You thought back to all of the happy times with Jake. A memory in particular tugging at your heart strings, you put your car in reverse knowing exactly where you were going. The long drive seemed to have cleared your mind enough to put an end to the incessant crying.
Is it better to hurt than to feel nothing at all?
You questioned yourself as you pulled into the long dirt road leading to the old wooden cabin the boys have used for years. Putting your car in park you silently curse yourself for wanting to be away from Jake but ending up in the one place that is littered with remnants of him. The universe had a funny way of mocking you, the irony of it all almost humorous.
Stepping inside you took in everything around you. The old rugs scattered across the floor, some equipment still left behind. You ran your fingers across the mic stand recalling your fondest memory in this place. The memory that lead you here. Longing for a sliver of comfort, even if you had to milk it out of an old memory.
Feeling the lump in your throat return once again you peeled your hands off and made your way to the bedroom you’ve become unmistakably familiar with. You settled into the bed you and him used to share fighting back the tears not bothering to change out of jakes ratty old sweatshirt.
Sleep clouded your mind accompanied by a singular thought relentlessly repeating as you finally allowed your body rest.
What have I done wrong?
—————————————————
Jake awoke to the front door slamming shut, the incessant pounding of his head and foot steps approaching. Peeling his top half off the floor, his eyes squint from the harshness of the light seeping in through the windows.
“Close the blinds.” He says rather harshly, sensing its his twin.
“Well good morning to you as well, dear brother. You look awful” he says with an insufferable smirk. Jake shoots him a sarcastic smile, not in the mood for his antics.
‘You reek of booze man, what the fuck is wrong with you.. where’s y/n?”. Jake stays quiet for a moment as memories from the previous night flood his brain. His chest now tight, fighting back tears as he realizes what he thought was a nightmare is in fact real.
“She’s gone.” Is all he mutters before he stands up. Just as quickly as he got up, he sunk back down. Josh grabbing ahold of his brothers arm right in the nick of time.
“How much did you drink Jake?” Josh asks rhetorically, prying the whiskey bottle from Jakes hands.
“Whatever happened is a conversation for another time, get your shit together or we’re gonna be late. You knew we had an interview, im not letting you embarrass us.” He says sternly pointing a finger in his brothers direction.
Jake stumbles to your guy’s room not bearing the sight of some of your belongings still scattered about the space. He rakes his fingers through his hair as he breathes out a heavy sigh fighting back the new set of tears. One managed to escaped and cascaded down his face. A dreadful reminder of your absence.
Taking a quick 5 minute shower in hopes of somehow washing off his guilt. Noticeably failing at doing so, the ache in his chest only grew stronger. Splashing the water on his face to wake himself up before stepping out. Glancing towards your toothbrush as he went to grab his, he heaves a shaky breath. The best word to describe how he felt was sorrowful. He couldn’t even be mad at himself, he knows he’d have his bags packed and out the door as well had he heard the unforgivable words spoken from him.
He can’t even pin the reason behind his actions either. Conjuring excuses and dismissing them immediately, knowing this is irreversible. He finished brushing his teeth throwing on his over-worn jeans, a button up and his tattered boots. Reaching for his cologne his breath hitched in his throat. The memory of when he first started wearing it flashing before his eyes.
-
“I love this scent on you honey” you whispered peering up at him through your eyelashes, your soft breaths surely tickling his neck. The sun shining perfectly on your face.
‘god what a woman, a temptress of the earth.’ He thinks to himself.
Jake stuck a little flower he’s been holding onto in your hair as you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest shining him your brightest smile. You both giggled as the wind blew your hair wistfully across your face.
“I’d wear it for you so long as I’m alive, my dear” he says cupping your face, cherishing the sweetness of your soft lips.
-
The memory now plaguing his mind, taunting him of what he so selfishly sabotaged.
“Get yourself the fuck together dude” he whispered before picking up the bottle and spraying himself. He trudged out of the bedroom.
“Let’s go Josh.” He says quickly before making his way out the door.
—————————————————
The drive to the radio station was thankfully short, ever since you left jake has hated silence. His thoughts being far too loud in the stillness of the once lively four walls. The boys were headed back to their respective homes. Jake in disassociation, quickly snapped out by daniel’s words.
“What was up with you today man? Talk about a man of few words” he jokes trying to make light of the awkward tension during the interview, painfully unaware of the distress Jake was in. Poor Danny was just trying to lighten the mood, Jake however didn’t care for it.
“I suppose I’ve got my own shit to worry about, you should try it sometime.” Jake mutters, leaving Danny dumbfounded. Guilt immediately creeping it’s way through his brain. He already lost you, the last thing Jake wants is bad blood with someone else.
“I’m sorry man that was harsh, I just have a lot on my mind. I also might’ve had one too many drinks last night… i think i let them catch up to me” he gives a small chuckle in hopes of alleviating the tension. Sam and Danny joke back. His twin’s eyes shooting daggers his direction, believing none of it.
Back at the cabin you finally stirred awake, nauseous for the second morning. Realizing you’re not at home, thoughts of last night hit you like a semi. You curl back up in the sheets wishing for this to be some sick, sick dream. Sure, some may write you off as dramatic but you’re so young, only a few years younger than Jake and you feel as though he forgets this is just as scary for you as it is him. When you dreamt of having a baby you pictured Jake by your side, in it for the long haul.
You tried fighting the unceasing waves of nausea as you rummaged for something to eat in the kitchen. Settling on some toast and lemon honey tea, you made a mental note to head to the shops in hopes of getting your mind off things.
You opened the French doors that led to the beautiful backyard deck and the land that stretched for miles and miles just enjoying the serenity of it all. Sipping your tea you ponder for a moment. You decide you’ve allowed yourself enough time to feel sorry for yourself. Now all that is left is making the best of the situation. You are a strong resilient soul, you need to energetically be the best you can be for you and this beautiful soon-to-be life the two of you have created. You decided to head into town today to pick up some baby and parenthood books, maybe an incredibly early start but it seems like you’ll be spending a lot of time here anyway.
You take a shower to wash yesterday off you, preparing for this new start. Putting on light makeup and combing through your locks you dress yourself in a white sundress you thrifted long ago slipping on some shoes and heading out.
You stop at a farmers market and recall the first summer you and Jake spent alone at the cabin, he had a break from tour and he made it a point to come and spend some one-on-one time.
He went and bought you a singular wildflower from every vender he could find until eventually you had a custom-made bouquet. Stopping and picking out fruits and cheeses together to later be shared in the garden that evening. Picking up cheap bottles of wine to share while the two of you slow danced in the back yard. He got a new cologne that day as well. A moment so tender shared between the two of you, cherished in your heart forever.
Not wanting to stay long you waltz around the closest towns local library flipping through every parenthood and childcare book you could find. Collecting a few to take home, you pay and head back.
As you were washing and cutting the fruits, ‘Til There Was You’ started playing on the old Beatles vinyl in the background. You smiled remembering the song fondly, one of jakes favorites. Little did you know it was only his favorite because of the drunken show you put on for him one night singing along terribly to the song as your friends talked and laughed around you guys. Your cheeks pink and flushed either from the liquor in your system, or embarrassment. Jake didn’t seem to care, you looked beautiful as ever to him in that moment.
You leave the record playing as you curl up in a blanket on the couch diving into one of the many books you bought today. A sliver of peace filling your body, things are starting to look up.
A few hours pass and you finally decide to plug in your phone not having bothered with it since the argument. The screen illuminates indicating battery life, you see no calls from Jake and one missed call from josh. Hurt strikes through your chest as you realize maybe he didn’t want you around after all. You hesitate before calling Josh back, a glimmer of hope in your heart.
It only took a couple rings for Josh to pick up and his voice booms through your ear.
“Y/n!! Finally you answer! Where have you been?! You never disappear this long, you and Jake are practically inseparable!” He exclaims. You grimace as you think back to the things Jake told him.
“I mean this respectfully Josh, but cut the shit. I heard everything he said to you last night on the phone. Since I’m so bothersome in my own home, I’ve taken some time away from everybody.” You say
“A-and please Josh…. Don’t tell anyone about the baby yet, i wanna get through this by myself first.” You plead, voice dripping with nervousness.
You hear the other end of the line fall silent for a moment before a heavy sigh escapes his mouth, him now getting a clue as to why he found a sweaty drunken Jake lying on the kitchen floor next to unpacked groceries. He begins to speak.
“Listen I’m sorry about my brother, I told him he needs to get his head out of his ass. There are many ways you guys can make this work but he’s stubborn. I’m confused where this is stemming from because this is all he’s ever wanted with you, I don’t know why he’s running from it now.” You can hear things being moved around and voices yelling in the back.
“Listen i have some people over right now i have to go but can you at least tell me where you are so i know you’re safe?” His voice coated in concern.
“The first summer we said i love you josh, I’m at the cabin.”
————————————————————-
Later that evening Jake finds himself at his desk sifting through old film pictures you guys took together, the two of you preferring physical proof of the intimate moments rather than digital. That isn’t to say you didn’t have any, these were just far more special to the two of you.
Jake has never felt a love like yours and he senselessly tossed it all out of the window. He knew he wanted a family with you, he just got scared of the responsibility of juggling the band and a family life. He opened a drawer full of all the wilted flowers, saved letters and notes, movies and concert tickets, hundreds of tiny nick nacks the two of you have collected over time. His eyes fall upon an old polaroid from the lake house, your cheeks sunburned, your hair kissed by the sun as you had your lips gently placed on jakes cheek. His smile shining brighter than ever, a slight pink tinge to the apples of his cheeks.
You two had just started dating. He invited you out to see his writing process, eager to have you mesh with the one thing he loves most. Jake had no idea you’d be a contiguous second. You two had spent all day in the sun reading together as the rest of the boys swam about the river. Jake caught a glimpse of his future with you, Both of you old, sat in your backyard watching your children, and eventually grandchildren, play about the land. He peered over to you and saw your rosy cheeks and nose buried in a book with ur legs up to ur chest in the lawn chair. You looked like you were exactly where you belonged. Next to him enjoying the comfortable silence. His favorite summer with you.
-
You peeled your eyes from the fascinating story nestled in your hands only to be met with your lovers, already drinking you in. you see the long-haired boy shoot you warm smile knowing he’s been caught.
“Whatcha looking at, rockstar” you smirk. Jake felt his heart flutter, your voice smooth like tupelo honey. Never has a woman had him in this much of a chokehold.
“Oh nothing… just my beautiful, beautiful girl” he says standing up from his seat beside you. He made his way to you resting his arms on each side of the chair essentially trapping you in. His torso bent over you as you look up at Jake the sun eclipsed by his head creating a beautiful halo glow around him. His skin sheen with the glistening sweat from the hot summer air. His hair tussled around from the lake water. You’ve never looked at him with so much adoration and love, and Jake could spot it from miles away. His heart began pumping faster and faster. You guys hadn’t even been together a year yet, was it too soon?
He finally speaks up “I was just admiring how natural this feels, here, with you. Wouldn’t trade it for the world…” He whispers trailing off as his eyes dart across your face, admiring the way the sun shone just right. His hands cupping your face like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Everything felt so right.
“..I love you.” he continued on, entranced by your loving gaze.
It wasn’t a grand gesture, not that you were one for those anyway. It was intimate, a moment shared between you two, and you two only. It wasn’t forced, it wasn’t used for show. It was real and it was natural. You’re immensely thankful Jake was emotionally secure enough to be so open and vulnerable with you.
A small smile tugged at your lips as your already sunburnt cheeks flushed to an even more crimson shade. Jake swore he felt his knees buckle. Though you hadn’t replied just yet, Jake knew. The love in your eyes sold it. His body still leaning over your own sat in the lawn chair, you pull him down a bit further by his necklace placing a gentle kiss to his soft lips.
“I love you more, my Jake.” you whisper as you pull away.
-
Jake replays the memory in his head. It’s been you all along. He was so blinded by his own bad habits, he shut you out. The one thing in his 27 years of life aside from his music that actually made him feel something. You were his wildest most cherished dream, left wilting from his own venom laced words. Slamming the drawer shut, Jake wasted no time grabbing his keys making his way to the car. No plan in mind.
His only purpose being to get his woman back, to make things right.
Picking his phone up he frantically dials Josh.
“Josh? Josh? hello?” Jake spews into the phone hearing josh pick up.
“What’s up?” Josh answers.
“I need you to tell me where y/n is at. I know you’ve kept in contact, she tells you everything. I don’t care what you say. I need her back. She’s the one josh i-i- i can’t lose her.” The long haired boy proclaimed choking back sobs. Josh had never heard his brother in such distress.
“Even if i make a fool of myself i need to show her I’m hers indefinitely. Ive made no efforts in proving that to her and especially now that she’s carrying my baby I can’t let that slip out of reach. Please Joshua… i need this.” He breathes. Josh is silent contemplating if he should say something. Hearing the anguish in his little brothers voice, he can’t bear to keep it from him any longer.
“Look i won’t say too much. Just think of your favorite summer, it’s evidently hers as well. I gotta go, ill talk to u later”
“Thank you thank you thank y-“ Jake is cut off by josh ending the call. He wastes no time rushing to you. Mentally preparing for this long drive ahead of him.
———————————————————————————
You sat on the living room floor mindlessly flipping through old magazines that were once neatly tucked in a corner, boredom obviously taking its course. The phone call with josh long forgotten about, since then you’ve changed into jakes old band tee you found in one of the drawers here. You hear tires on the dirt road and headlights making its way towards the house. Frightened, you pick up a kitchen knife clutching your bra less chest. You hold your breath as a car door slams and footsteps approach.
A soft knock on the cabin door and you feel the hairs on your arms raise. You peek your eye in the peep hole, after seeing who was behind the door you would’ve much rather it have been a murderer. Seeing those smooth caramel eyes you’ve missed so much only pains you, and reminds you of the hurt he caused. Every harsh word now on repeat. You sigh setting the knife down and pulling the door open.
“Hello” You greet, voice small.
‘You sound pathetic’ you think to yourself
“Y/n please…. I know its so soon and you without a doubt deserve space but I can’t bear another second without. God i was so stupid, you’ve given me nothing but undeniable support and love and I’ve taken that for granted. I should’ve talked things ou-“
“jake…” you cut him off, the softness of your voice ringing in his ears like music from angels themselves. He’s been craving the sound of your voice.
“Please just come inside and we’ll talk you haven’t even stepped foot in the door” you continue
“So.. you’ll hear me out? We can fix this right?” His eager eyes bouncing back and forth between your own, searching for some sort of non-verbal answer.
“I never said that Jacob…” you trail off allowing him to step inside.
“Can i grab you anything to drink?” You offer, Jake mesmerized by your hospitality even in the midst of a broken heart. He didn’t think he could be more enamored by you, but alas.
“I’m not some random guest y/n, i want to prove to you how sorry i am. Please..” he whispers inching closer to you. You look down a sigh escaping past your lips. You look back up at him, he sees the hurt flash in your eyes as you recall the phone call.
“Why did you say those things?” Keeping steady eye contact. It was now your turn to look for the answers in his irises.
“I don’t know honey, I don’t know.. the only logical explanation i can give you is i was scared. But that’s no excuse and i’m fully aware. Things had already been so bad between us it was eating me alive. I thought if I wasn’t even able to care and provide for you how I should’ve the last 2 months, how was i meant to provide for an entirely new human? I realized i was treating you in a way i never thought I would in a million years. I promised myself to cherish a love like yours should i ever have the privilege of being graced by your love and affection and i was blind. So fucking blind. Kids haven’t always been my thing baby you know that and i want nothing more than to have this with you now and to have a family to call our own. I’ve come to my senses. I don’t know what washed over me i let my fear get the best of me. I usually know what to say but there’s no words in the English language to describe the sorrow i feel. I’m so fucking sorry y/n.” He finishes blinking away the brewing tears. You sit almost mute if it weren’t for your shaky breathing.
“Please.. say something, anything” he pleads, a tear rolling down his cheek.
“Jake i wanna forgive you I’m just hurt, 5 years and not once have i been treated like this by you. I thought, you know, telling you the news would alleviate the tension between us. I was hoping you’d somehow realize it was all silly, and the fighting wasn’t like us. Instead you pushed me away further. Am i so terrible Jacob?” You ask dropping your gaze to your feet.
“No my love, i was just being foolish and immature. I let emotions cloud logic, I spoke what felt right at the time being and it was the worst mistake of my life. If i could take it all back i would, you have no fucking idea the lengths i’d go to undo my actions.” He says taking your face in his hand. Closing your eyes, you nestle your cheek into the warmth of his calloused palm.
Oh, how you’ve missed this. You quickly snap out of it before continuing on.
“where were you that morning, Jake? josh called asking for you but you said you were with the boys.” you say peeling your cheek away from his hand. Chest rising and falling with anticipation.
“I was with them for the first part of the morning my love, i was. But i did slip out the minute it was over instead of hanging around how they always do. I went to grab some breakfast to try and untangle the mess that was my brain at the time. I saw a dad alone with his two daughters, i think the mom might’ve been busy but the dad looked so worn out. Completely defeated, and it scared me. It’s still no excuse for the way i treated you prior to the news. I was taking my workload home with me and i pinned faults on you to try and alleviate some of the tension. I’m so sorry baby, you don’t deserve it at all. You were nothing but patient with me a- and-“ his voice cracks his head now hung in shame as his throat tightens up, tears slipping past the ducts.
“-and i failed you y/n. I ran home and called josh to try and gain some sensibility. I voiced the intrusive thoughts that were in no way the truth. I think i just let everything get to my head and i went into this existential questioning mode. I’ll regret it eternally.” he continues, lips now parted flicking his eyes between your own.
“My Jake, I’m not upset at you being scared. This is terrifying. We’re so young i don’t expect you to have this figured out. You’re doing so well with your music. I feel terrible, you have no idea. But i’m just as scared as you are. This is supposed to be a help me help you. No matter how terrifying, this was painstakingly meant for us. This was in store for us whether we like it or not and i honestly couldn’t be more grateful, Jake. I know we can make this work. If there’s anyone in the world I’d want this with its you, I need to you to be emotionally present…please jake” you say hopeful.
“I know we can honey, and I will. You won’t ever have to worry about anything. You can quit your job, I’ll provide for the three of us, you won’t have to lift a finger anymore. You can come with us on tour and i’ll be by your side every step of the way. I will make sure the traveling is as comfortable as can be for my pregnant little lady” he says pulling you in closer by the hand.
“I’m gonna need time Jake, i can’t just ask that of you. And to be frank, your words hurt. Everything is so fresh we can’t just move past it in one day. You didn’t even call me or anything Jake, radio silence. I understand if that was the space you needed but not even to check if I’m okay?” You choke.
“I know my love, I’m incredibly disappointed with myself you have no idea. I should’ve called. I just knew if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t have wanted to be around me either. I figured the least I could do was give you the space you needed. You don’t know how desperately I wanted to call you and text you and run out there, but that would’ve been selfish of me. To say hurtful things and beg you to stay? I deserved you’re absence. I should’ve reached out. I’m so fucking sorry. I have no clue what got to me it was all nonsense, I was being incredibly immature”
“It’s just disappointing, what did I do wrong Jake?” You whisper your eyes flicking between his plump lips and his caring eyes.
“Nothing baby, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I was being an asshole. You don’t deserve that in the slightest. Let me show you how sorry i am baby, let me take care of you” he whispers lips connecting with your pulse point, the light suction sending chills down your spine.
“I’m sorry, my love. I’m so sorry” gently whispering fighting the crack in his voice, punctuating each apology with a kiss to ur soft skin.
“Jake please not right no-“ you’re cut off by his lips crashing onto yours. Your lips move together like it was the first time you’d ever shared a kiss, eager and love drunk.
“let me make things right.” He whispers resting his forehead on your own.
“You’re all I’ve ever needed” moving to place a kiss behind your ear.
“Jake please” you breathe.
“I’m sorry” he repeats again but only gripping the larger fitting t-shirt of his clung around your body.
His lips meet yours again as he slowly backs you into the counter. Kneeling down in front of you, feeling your hands trace over the top of his head strumming through his long hair. Jake begins pulling at the hem of the shirt the smell of vanilla permeating his nose. The kiss ceases as you realize where this is going.
“Jake we can’t do this, we have to-“ your frantic words seem to go dormant as your shirt is quickly discarded. He strokes the back of your legs and ass pulling your lower half further into him, staring at each other with your lust-filled eyes.
“I just need to taste you, show you how much I need you.” He plants a kiss to your abdomen, finger hooking the thin fabric uncovering the sweet pool of honey.
“Is this okay baby?” he hums against your skin.
You let out a whimper, his lips quirk up in a smile knowing you wanted this just as bad.
The underwear falls as he guides your legs upward to help you step out of them, kicking it to the side using the counter to support your weight. Letting your right leg sit comfortably on his shoulder as he circles your clit with his thumb. Looking deep into your eyes and watching you cave under his touch is more than he can handle, your his greatest strength and undeniable weakness.
Wasting no time, his tongue hungrily glides through your folds, jake completely enamored by the sweetness of your aching cunt. God how you missed him. He’s desperate at this point, the impression of his fingers on your skin, the way your chest drops with every exhale, the tug of your bottom lip between your teeth as your head drops back. The way you fuck back into his face as though this insatiable hunger for one another isn’t one sided.
He pulls back emitting a whimper from you. He quickly but gently bends you over the counter. Admiring the heart shape your ass resembles, he gives a light smack. A smile dances across his lips at the absolute bliss upon your once tear-stained face. He sprinkles light kisses over the small of your back before running his hand back over your soaking wet slit.
“Spread your legs beautiful, I need to see all of you” to which you gracefully oblige.
“Atta girl” he smirks. You swear you could climax from his words alone.
He licked one long stripe starting from your taint stopping just shy of your clit before sucking slightly, his tongue then running up and down the small crevice, your arousal being lapped as though this were his last meal.
“Jesus Christ Jake…….so good” you whimper, your breathy moans like the soft song of a siren, reeling him in stronger than ever before.
“all I ever want is to make you feel good honey, I’m all yours” he says before continuing one of his favorite acts of service. He snakes a hand up to your breasts giving one a light squeeze. He slowly pinched and rolls your sensitive nipple in between his pointer and thumb eliciting a pornographic moan from you.
“You’re all mine” he says, ravenously burying his face into your dripping cunt.
You arch your back lifting your ass giving him more access to what seemed to be his own personal form of heroin, an insatiable hunger only you could satisfy. You’re close, and he knows it too. Keeping the tempo he begins to bring both knees to the hardwood kitchen floor in attempts to give you the chance to slightly sit on his face.
He drops his hold on your breasts using the same hand to circle your clit continuing his assault. The newfound feeling of synchronization between his tongue and finger becoming too much to handle.
“My god Jake, I’m so close” you groan pulling his hair for leverage. You start grinding into his mouth before allowing yourself to fully submit to the feeling.
“ I’m cum-“ you squeak out before the rush of your orgasm cuts you off.
Jake starts massaging your side as physical praise. The nectar drips from your cunt into his mouth, Jake hums in approval at your arousal. You ride out your high on his face. You look back at him with lust and admiration. He pulls back and turns you around grasping your thighs as he begins to clean you with his mouth. Repeated kisses on your legs and stomach. The maintained eye contact, trying to burn this moment into his brain. You look down at him pushing the single strand of hair out of his now glistening face. He stares up at you.
“You look so pretty when you come on my face you know?” He smirks.
You roll your eyes and smile. Searching for the now discarded t-shirt. Jake stands up collecting himself. He pulls you in by the arm before you can get dressed.
“I love you immensely y/n, i will spend every waking day of my life proving that to our little family” he says placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“I was so stupid my love, I had everything I’ve ever dreamed of and I took advantage. I’m not asking you to forgive me right away but just know I will fight for you until my deathbed” he continued, pulling you into his embrace.
“Please just communicate your thoughts with me Jake, we’ve been in this so long. This needs to be a help me help you. No matter how irrational you think the issue may be. I love you far too much to be apart from you” You say staring into his eyes. He places a hand over his heart before solemnly swearing to do so.
The two of you make your way into the old bedroom, his eyes sadden at your clothes spilling out of the duffel bag in the corner. It may have only been 24 hours apart but it shouldn’t even have come to that. His heart clenched at the thought of you feeling like you had to resort to isolation. Although, he knows he would’ve done the same had he been in your shoes. He grabs your hand pulling you into his chest, fingers scratching at your scalp. The way he held you was enough to relive you of any hurt or ailment in your body. The intimacy and closeness you two lacked for so long finally shining through like a streak of sunlight in a window after a terrible storm. You feel the shakiness of his breath before he begins to speak.
“I know I’ve said it many times before my love, but I truly am sorry. You shouldn’t have been alone. God, how scared you must’ve been.” He breathes looking up as if to hold back the tears fighting to escape.
“Thinking of you falling asleep by yourself last night is agonizing. I should’ve been there for you.” He whispers.
“What happened, happened Jakey. Let’s not dwell on what we can no longer change. Please… I don’t wanna think about it any longer. I want to focus on moving forward. I want to be the best version of me for our child” you say pulling away, both of you looking down to your abdomen with sad smiles.
“Did you come here because it was the first time we said i love you to eachother?” He blurts, eyes darting between your own. Scared of what you might say.
“Maybe..” you flush, shying your face away. A smile lights up his face.
“The moment was just so perfect, Jake. So intimate. Something special just for us, no interruptions. We were so happy, young, and in love. After we said it we got so drunk Jakey, you serenaded me with that mic all night. Any song I spoke of you strummed that guitar immediately. I knew i wanted you forever, right then and there.” You giggled
“I was quite the serenader, wasn’t i?” he jokes. Pulling you in by your waist he looks up smiling as he recalls the memory.
“I will play as many songs if it means I can see your pretty smile” he says leaning down giving you a peck on the lips. You two just held each other for a moment before deciding a shower was your best bet after your little reconciliation.
The shower was nothing short of intimate. Soft touches, hands raking through each others hair as the shampoo lathers. Just basking in each others presence. The two of you sat in silence, not a word uttered. You guys seemed to have an unspoken mutual agreement that you needed to make up for lost time in touches. It had been so long since Jake had been so attentive and gentle with you. You finally felt the love you two once had circle its way back. He stayed behind you washing the conditioner from your hair.
“I love you baby” Jake states, breaking the silence. He reaches around, kissing you softly.
“You’re divine, my woman. I can’t get enough of you, I’m sorry again baby.” He says pecking your shoulder. You hum in adoration letting your head rest back on his shoulder as he lathers your body.
You two wrap up the shower after having taken the time to allow yourselves to attentively care for one another again.
You sit naked on the bed with a towel in your hair, book in hand, neither of you bothering to change. Just eager to finally be in each others presence again. Jake is walking around the room, collecting your scattered clothes and packing them up.
“My Jake, just come lay down” you whine wanting nothing but to lay in bed together, to feel a long awaited sense of normalcy between the two of you. You close your book and set it beside you as you watch him circle the room.
“Soon my lady, one more thing” he says, a smirk worn proudly like he was scheming something. He waltzed into the closet finding his old straw hat. He rests it atop his head picking up his old acoustic. Still unclothed , the instrument acting as a garment for his lower half. He strums the familiar tune to ‘Til There Was You’. Your smile beams as you recall the old Beatles song.
“Thought I’d put on a long awaited show on for my special lady and our little bean” He laughs unable to take himself seriously. You giggle as well before responding.
“Take it away, my love!” you encourage as he begins singing the song purposefully off key. Fingers strumming perfectly to the tune.
“No, i never sawrrrrrr them at alllllllllll” he exaggerates.
You two break out into fits of laughter as he rids himself of his guitar and hat diving into bed with you. The room falls silent as you guys lay, you remove your the towel from your hair getting comfortable under the covers. Jake silently admiring your glow, coming to the realization its been lost for so long. Ever since he grew distant, you didn’t shine the same, even hearing your laugh tonight struck something within him. He’s pained he’s the cause of your light dimming. He finally speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence.
“Thank you for giving me the chance to prove myself to you again. You deserve to shine baby.” He whispers into your neck
“Mhm, don’t make me regret it” you squint your eyes at him playfully. You both laugh before sighing in contentment.
“You know I saw the food laying on the counter, I wish i could take it all back. I’ll thank you endlessly.” He says nuzzling his head into your neck entangling your legs together as his torso rested atop yours. Enjoying the intimacy of laying unclad together, it’s been far too long.
“I just never want you to speak of me like that behind my back again, I felt so unwanted. I trust that you’ll communicate those thoughts to me directly from now on” you say playing with strands of his hair.
“We’re too old for that kind of stuff now, Jakey.” You continue on.
“I’ll never let anything come between us again, i will stop at nothing to ensure your happiness. And 9 months from now i shall do the same for the little one” he says drawing shapes on your stomach. A newfound appreciation for one another, a tighter metaphorical knot now formed between the both of you. You two were made for each other and you know your baby will be so loved. Now its just one step at a time. You wouldn’t trade him for the world, he lays there completely and irrevocably enthralled by your love.
Fin.
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jakesflora · 1 year ago
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Forgive Me.
Jake Kiszka Priest AU
word count: 2.1k
you have a confession.
warnings: smut, sacrilegious.
You never missed a Sunday, being a catholic was all you knew, since you were a child and your parents dragged you and your brothers to church bright and early every sunday. You had heard news among the grapevine that there was a new priest coming, to take over for Father James, as he was getting older and needed to retire. You were dressed in your finest attire, to meet the new priest, dressed in a pretty black skirt, with a white sweater to cover up as much skin as possible. Your heels click on the stairs as you walk up to the doors of  the church, the older ladies greeting you as you walk in. Father James, was standing at the end of the pews, greeting you with a smile, “Very nice to see your face this morning, Y/N” you sent him a warm and welcoming smile, he had always been nice to you. Everyone had been speculating why exactly he was leaving, some people said it was because he needed to retire, others said he committed blasphemy and he's no longer able to be a preacher. Rumor has it, the new father is much younger, and less experienced, but he was in fact a very holy man according to most. You took your seat at your normal spot, three rows back, towards the middle of the aisle. The ushers at the back, shut the doors as you heard the familiar bell start to ring, signaling that the service is starting. Father James walked in from the back of the church, followed by a young man, his hair was a medium shade of brown, and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed as his brown eyes scoped out the many pews filled with people. Father James, cleared his throat and spoke into the mic, “This brings me pure sadness to say, but this will be my last sermon with you all. It's been lovely to get to know you all, this will be your new father,” the man raised his hand from beside him, sending all of us a wave. “His name is Jake, but you may call him Father Jake, he will be around after the sermon, to ask questions and hold confessionals if you would need one, may god be with you all.” and with that he started his normal trek on about god, and his disciples.
After he finishes speaking, he bids you all goodbye, telling you all once again that the new Father Jake would be available in the confessional room if needed. A ping of guilt flashed into your eyes knowing good and well there were things you never felt quite comfortable telling Father James given he was so much older and wiser than you. After mostly everyone had cleared out from the pews and were now just standing outside talking amongst each other, you trotted your way down the narrow hallway towards the back of the church. Hidden in the back corner was the confession room, where most women had spent most of their time with Father James telling him about the urges they had to do something most people would say is unholy, and by most people meaning the catholic church. You gently placed a knock on the door, the knocks echoing in the hallway as you did so. “You may come in,” you heard from the other side of the door, doing as the man said, you turned the knob and opened the door. Once inside there he sat, the man you have come to know as Father Jake. He cleared his throat and spoke up, “How may I help you today?” as you walked your way over to the chair in front of his desk, you felt as if his eyes were burning holes into your body, into your flesh, and you weren't sure exactly how to feel about it. In fact, maybe it was all just in your head. You sat down in the chair across from him, crossing your legs like a proper lady. “I’ve come to confess some…urges, if you will.” the nerves were evident in your voice, but in a way you did not feel ashamed, he seemed young enough to understand how it is to be a person your age and feel the things you feel, as he couldn’t be over thirty years old. 
“Ah yes, what would those urges be…? What's your name? I did not catch it.” he spoke, sorting out papers clattered about the wooden desk top table. “My names y/n” you said, a small smile upon your face. “Lovely to meet you father.” he looked up from his papers, once again looking at you like something was severely wrong with you, so you just continued to speak. “The urges father, they get so hard to fight sometimes, I've always wondered how it felt, the feeling must be good enough for so many people to stray away from their beliefs because of it.” he was listening to you quite intently, playing with the cross rosary that was once clad to his chest, now gripped in his hands, his brow furrowed. “The feeling of what y/n? What is this feeling that you are so ashamed of?” You shifted in your seat, almost in a way kind of scared to tell him what it is that you’re truly feeling. “Well Um..,” you were fiddling with the ruffles of your skirt, trying not to make eye contact as the thought of saying these words to someone, a holy man like him, seems so wrong. “I wonder what being touched by another feels like, and I know it's against the rules, and in no way am I rebelling but there's something that's so interesting about it.” with the last bit of that sentence you grew the urge to finally look up at him, to meet his brown eyes. His eyes were dark, and it was almost scary, he looked almost.. evil? You didn’t quite know the word for it. “So you think, that the touch of another is enough to break your vows to the church, your vows to the lord?” He now stood up, the vestment he was wearing now straightening up around his waist, and the rosary now falling back to its original place. He was now towering over you, his hand coming up to hold your chin in his hands, “Is that what you’re telling me, sweet y/n?” Your mouth had slightly parted, any spit that was in your mouth has now dried up, swallowing hard to the best of your abilities. “I…I’m sorry father I just.” With a jerk of your chin he cut you off. “Say no more, I've heard enough. It's time to confess your sins before the lord.” He pulls you up out of the chair, with one pull of your arm. Standing beside him now, you realized how much larger he was than you, how much stronger he was. He pointed to the back of the room, where there was a large painting of Jesus on the wall. “Go to him, get on your knees before him, and beg for forgiveness for even thinking such a thing.” He dropped your chin, your legs shaking as you walked over to the painting and did exactly as he told you to do, now rested upon your knees in front of the painting. You heard his feet behind you, and the door lock click as he made his way over to you meaning he in fact locked the two of you in here. There was a feeling in between your thighs that you had never quite felt before, why is it happening now? What even is it? You heard the scraping of a chair on the wooden floor, his chair now beside you as he sat down in it. He grabbed your hair roughly, pulling your head back to look at him. “Do you feel forgiven my dear? I think I know another way you could be forgiven.” The rasp in his voice is much more evident now than it was earlier. “Let me show you.” He grabbed your hand, placing it on his crotch, rubbing it slowly as he let out a low groan. “What are you doing Father? This isn't right.” he refused to let your hand go, still making you rub his now growing cock. “Isn't it though sweetheart? Let me show you how it feels to be touched, while the lord is watching us.” the feeling between your thighs grew tenfold, immediately complying to what he was saying and doing. He lifted up his vestment, taking off the pants he was wearing underneath it. Exposing the cock that was now hard at the thought of taking your innocence and ruining it.
 Turns out Jake wasn’t a holy man at all, now was he? “Now let's take off that pretty little skirt of yours that I've been looking at all day.” He lifted you up off your knees, ripping off the skirt that was once what was hiding the wetness of your panties from him and the rest of the world. “That's what i'm talking about, look how pretty you are angel,You're an angel sent from the lord himself.” all you could do was whine, no words came to mind minus the thought of him touching you. He pulled your panties to the side and ran his finger up and down the slit of your pussy, playing in the pile of wetness that has gathered upon your clit. He smirked, knowing good and well that all of this was for him, he lifted his fingers up to his mouth with your wetness still coating them, popping them in his mouth. “Oh angel, you taste so good. I just want another taste.” that did not stop you from grinding your hips on his still hardening cock noticing that the friction felt really good. He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you safely in the air as he walked you over to his desk, where he laid you down before getting on his knees himself. He pulled you right to the edge, so that his mouth was now level to your cunt, as he began to lick gently at the sensitive nub between your folds, now not being able to keep the moans of his holy name from slipping your mouth. He gripped your thighs so rough that there was going to absolutely be bruises as he completely devoured your dripping cunt. Your hands now tangled in the brown hair that you had watched walk in earlier, legs wrapping around his head not wanting this to ever end. He smirked into your wetness like a cocky son of a bitch before adding two fingers into the mix now working them in and out of you with a quick motion. Your back begins to arch off the desk at all the feelings he was making you feel. You felt a low burning sensation in the bottom of your stomach, “Father I--” was all you were able to say before he completely stopped. “Not yet, I want you to cum on my cock, I want you to bless me with your cum little dove” 
You looked down at him, now watching him stand up and pump his cock a couple of times, pushing the hair out of his face as it was stuck to his forehead with a mix of your wetness and sweat. “Now, this might hurt angel, but I promise it will feel great in the end.” That was the only warning he gave you before he slammed his cock into your little innocent pussy that's never taken cock before in its life, much less a man the size of him. He let out moans of your name as he slid his cock in and out of you, all you could do was whimper as he ruined you, taking the one thing that you were told to keep as long as you could, away from you, but god almighty did it feel good. Your nails dug into his back, leaving scratch marks as the rosary around his neck dangled in your face. His hand reaching up and grasping hard at your neck as he squeezed as hard as possible. “Dirty little slut, how dare you do this? You’re ruined.” he spat, smacking at your cheek as gently as possible. You felt the feeling once again building in your lower stomach, “Father I-- I.” you could hardly get out words. “Bless me angel, give it to me” was all he had to say before you were writhing in pleasure around his cock. Which was enough to send him over the edge as well, filling up your now fucked out pussy with his cum as he slowly slowed down his pace before pulling out of you completely. He placed a kiss on your forehead, “Consider yourself forgiven, in my eyes.” 
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kiszkasun · 2 years ago
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sunshine
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dilflover-4ever · 5 months ago
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Someone older 2
Josh Kiska x f!reader
wc: 2.2k
Summary: Having a crush on your best friend's older brother is normal. It is just something about an older, “cool” teenager that appealed to you in your preteen years. Almost everyone experiences this, but is it still normal when he is 8 years older? Yes, your best friend, Sam, was older than you but he was like a brother and something about Josh was so intoxicating. The crush didn’t leave when he left for college, he stayed in the back of your mind throughout all of those years. Hell he plagued your mind through your last years of highschool and first of college. So what are you supposed to do when he moves in with Sam near the college you and he attended.
Minors DNI!!!
Warnings: female masturbation, that’s about it I think
For more info go to master post!
a/n: guyssssss I was hoping to get some good old sexual tension and spice into this chapter but it just got too long I had to cut it off. Sorry!!!!!
~~~~~~~
A couple days had passed since you found out Josh was moving in with Sam. You completed your regular schedule while also aiding Sam in prepping the apartment for Josh’s arrival. Two days. You had two days until Josh arrived, you could barely contain your excitement. Sam picked up on this and was feeling quite the opposite. “I don’t understand why you're so excited for this.” Sam said grumpily. Trying to play it off you just responded with a quick statement. “I just miss them so much and now I don't have to wait until Thanksgiving.” You gave a quick shrug and made work with the freshly washed sheets. “Well you're not the one that has to live with him.” He remarked. You rolled your eyes and finished up the guest bed. You could only imagine him resting here after a long day, his scent filling the room. You almost let a small whine slip from your lips at the thought of his welcoming cologne. After checking with Sam that he didn’t need your additional help, you promised to go grocery shopping with him tomorrow.
Heading back to your apartment you figured dinner could just be the leftover meal from yesterday. Watching it spin around in the microwave, you texted Josh.
You
Heard you're moving in with Sam, can’t wait to see you!
You’d hoped that wasn’t weird and he would just see it as a welcoming sentence. He soon replied and all thoughts of doubt washed away from you.
Josh
Can't wait to see you either sweetheart! Counting down the days.
Sweetheart. Josh had always called you that and it managed to weaken your knees just a little every time. The microwave beeping caught your attention and you pulled the food out with flushed cheeks. You have to get a hold of yourself before he gets here.
After dinner you took a quick shower and laid down in bed for the night. You were on your phone for a little before noticing the time and deciding you didn’t wanna feel like shit in the morning. Plugging your phone in and readjusting your shirt to sit more comfortably. Laying in the dark you shut your eyes and tried to allow sleep to take you. Your thoughts shifted around, from upcoming classes, dinner recipes, these past couple days with Sam and they halted when you got to Josh. It was inevitable, you thought about him most nights and they started innocent but you couldn't stop them from venturing. Soon you were thinking about his face buried between your legs, lapping at your clit with his tongue while his fingers worked inside of your pussy. You thought about the names he would call you and the noises he would make.
You then realized how worked up you were and you didn't notice your hand that had subconsciously drifted past the waistband of your sleep shorts. You opened your eyes and swiftly leaned over to your nightstand, finding the small object in the dark. You brought the vibrator over to yourself and yanked your shorts to your ankles. Pressing the button, it buzzed to life and as it teased between your lips you let out a deep exhale. A whine left your lips when you brought it higher, adding pressure where you needed it. Your thoughts swarming with Josh. Your hips ground up into the toy, adding to the sensation. You felt your eyes squeeze shut and brought your open hand up to play with your hardened nipples, giving both equal attention. Quiet moans left your lips and short sighs of his name followed. The burning sensation building up in your lower abdomen. Chasing the feeling you start to drag it up and down your clit with quick motions. You felt it nearing and with a ‘oh fuck Josh’ you came around the toy, legs slightly shaking and hips pressing down into the bed.
You slept peacefully that night, only slight regret with the noise you were making.
~
The next morning you got up out of bed and completed your normal routine, trying not to think about the extensive classes you had for the day. On the way to class you and Sam communicated what time would be best for groceries. “Well my last class ends around four. Oh and I'm staying after for a while to study in the library, so you don’t have to bring me home today.” He told you, looking out the front windshield. “Ok so when will you be done with that? I just don’t want to go too late.” You responded, looking over to glance at him. “Well me and her-” You cut him off before he could finish. “Her?! Sammy, do you have a girlfriend I don’t know about?” You questioned, not even caring for coming off as nosy. “No y/n! What the hell? We are just study buddies for a project.” He answered, but you didn’t miss his rosy cheeks as he looked down at his hands in his lap. “I’m just messing with you Sammy, I'm sure she's nice. So should we go around 5:15?” You asked, turning into the parking lot. “Sure that sounds good.” He gave you a quick hug goodbye as you parted ways.
~
After a few long hours you could go home and rest before grocery shopping. On your way out someone tapped your shoulder. You turned around to be met with a boy from your class, Brady. “Hey Brady, what do you need?” You said, concerned about what he could want. “Well I was just gonna ask for your number? If that’s okay, I think you're really pretty and would like to get to know you more.” His question caught you off guard, sure he is really charming but you had barely interacted with him before this. “Um sure here hand me your phone I can put it in.” You offered with a small smile. After typing in the digits you looked back up at him with a smile. He smiled back and waved goodbye with a ‘thanks’ and ‘see you later’.
In the car ride home you couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened. You couldn’t stop yourself as you compared him to Josh. It was something that occurred often when you had previous boyfriends in highschool, even with your ex that you had dated for two and half years. You were in love with him and everything he did but always found yourself thinking things like, ‘Josh wouldn't say that’ or ‘I wonder what Josh would do right now’. That boy was your first love (besides Josh….) and he was the boy you lost your virginity to. You were heartbroken when you both decided being apart for college was the best thing to do. And it didn’t help how josh was there to pick up the pieces of your heart and work to put them back together. Of course the others helped you through it too but Josh put in extra effort, like texting you everyday after and allowing you to rant to him about your feelings. You don’t think Josh liked the guy very much, almost being passive aggressive when they would be in the same room together. In fact he was like that with every guy you had dated, you always put it off as he was just protecting you like an older brother would.
Once you got home you jumped on your bed and opened your phone to instagram, deciding that was the best use of your time, which it probably isn’t but what else could you do. It wasn’t like you had homework for both of tomorrow's classes sitting on your desk, which you did. After going through some stories you came across Sam’s, it was a picture of the table he and his ‘study buddy’ were sitting at. The papers and laptops scattered in almost an unnatural way, perfect for a photo. You tapped through and came across Josh’s. It had the text reading ‘Moving day!’ with a photo of the moving truck packed up. You almost tapped past it until you noticed two people on either side of the truck, recognizing Jake immediately your eyes moved to the other person. It was a short cute brunette girl with a chunky sweater and jean skirt on. She was beautiful, you could see the rosiness of her cheeks and the cute bow tied in the back of her half-up, half-down hairstyle. A pit of jealousy opened in your body, you instantly started questioning, ‘is she with josh?’, ‘could she just be a friend?’ and ‘maybe with jake.’ You decided instagram could be closed for now, not wanting to give yourself even more anxiety about your feelings towards him.
You heard a knock and sat up to go answer. Opening the door you saw Sam, guess he forgot about his key. But how could you forget you had to go get groceries? “Oh sorry I totally forgot, let me go get my shoes!” You said frantically moving back into the house to get your sneakers. “Oh I actually came to tell you something else, but yeah we got to go do that.” He said nonchalantly. You looked up at him in curiosity as you tied the laces. “Well what is the other thing you were gonna tell me?” He met your eyes with a defeated look, “Well seems like Josh is getting in a little early, he should be here at about 8 tonight.” He said. You were sure there was a physical sparkle in your eyes once you processed this information. “Oh that’s great Sammy! We better go get food now then.” You finished, standing up to get your purse from the back of the dining room chair.
In the car Sam continued, “I don’t know why he couldn’t just stay one more night! He wasn’t supposed to be fully packed until tomorrow.” He rubbed between his eyes as he said this. “Hey you know you can stay at mine if at any point you get overwhelmed or annoyed.” You reassured him. He looked up with a smile and nodded in thanks.
Once done with groceries, you checked out and loaded them into the car. Noticing you still had about two hours until Josh arrived you made the offer of going out to eat tonight. Sam agreed and that’s how you ended up in Flower Child, a place you both liked. Cutting into your grilled salmon you continued the Josh conversation, big surprise. “Not to be rude but why does him moving in with you bother you so much? I Mean you basically did it your whole life.” You added. “That’s exactly my point y/n, I did it my whole life and I love him but I appreciate living on my own.” He responded, allowing you to realize where he is coming from, you didn’t know when you would be ready to live with another person. “I'm here with you Sam, all of the way, mi casa su casa.” You try to throw in a joke to try and cheer him up and are glad when it does. He let out a small giggle and moved to throw away your trash.
Back at the apartment you hugged Sam goodbye and gave him some more words of support. You decided it would be best to leave Josh to move in and you would talk to him in the morning since you had no classes. You knew you needed to head to bed early since you had a semi-late night yesterday…..
After getting ready for bed you laid and went to turn on your show to help you to bed. You watched for a little and a text came through your phone. It was sam.
Sammy
He’s here y/n, if you want to come say hi
You barely had control of your body as you sprung out of bed and grabbed your keys. Opening the door you saw him and Sam talking in the hallway with a box at their feet. You couldn't stop yourself as you ran towards him. “Josh!” you yelled not caring for the neighbors at this moment. You ran and jumped into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist and arms around his shoulders as his strong arms held around your back. “Hey peach! How are you? I’ve missed you like crazy.” His admission made your heart thump widely in your chest. You pulled your face from his neck to look at his eyes, “I’ve been good. I missed you too!” You said with a grin. One of his hands drifted to your ass to push you back up as you started slipping. You dropped your legs from around him and the areas he touched you burned as you turned to look at Sam. His expression is much less excited than yours.
You had spent the night catching up with Josh and just asking for stories about his life. The conversation continued until Sam’s phone made the bedtime noise and you three realized it was now 11. Cleaning up whatever mess you guys had made, you made your way out the door and gave both boys a tight hug, but not forgetting a kiss on Josh’s cheek as it was something you guys shared at and departure. In your own bed you couldn’t contain your excitement for what the next few months would hold.
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kiteofdreams · 2 years ago
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Alright, first off: this is the first thing I’ve written and posted in like 10 years. (Tbh, it’ll probably take that long again thanks to real life.) I even made this sideblog to post it bc I have severe anxiety about posting it for some reason - I’m not sure why, so we’re stepping outta my comfort zone here. If you can guess where this title came from, you get a high-five for the obscure reference. I hope you enjoy this Christmas Josh fic.
1.7k words. I tried my hand at fluff and there’s no real warnings, but talk of alcohol & being drunk is mentioned.
Christmas had always been your favorite time of year — the Christmas traditions with your family, the small get-togethers with your close friends, and the general happiness of all those around you.
You had started decorating late, but your life had been so crazy, you hadn't had time. So here you were on Christmas Eve, placing the finishing touches onto your Christmas tree. It was your first Christmas not being home with your family. Your plans were to sit by your fireplace, drink some hot chocolate, and watch a movie.
As you queued up your favorite Christmas movie, you reminisced on how you had gotten here. This past year hadn’t been easy; you found yourself in a new city, a new state, and a new job. Although you had moved away from home years prior, it never got any easier packing up your life and changing it completely. As you settled into a routine in your new life, things became easier. You fell in love with the city life. You met new people, socialized with your co-workers, and even went on a few dates. Of course, nothing ever came of the dates. Life had been too hectic for a relationship, too busy with work. And then there was Josh.
Josh was the shining light in your life. A great big ball of sunshine on the darkest days. It all started on a Friday night at a local bar while out with coworkers celebrating the completion of a two-month-long project.
While ordering drinks at the bar, a long-haired (and quite drunk) man turned around and spilled his drink all over you. He hadn’t even realized what happened as he headed over to the table of his friends. You brushed it off at first because it hadn't been the first time you had a drink spilled on you and it probably wouldn't be the last. The more you thought about what had happened, the more irritated you got. By the time you worked up the nerve to confront him, the man was gone. The following week, you saw him again at the same bar, but with a much shorter haircut. This time, you were prepared to tell him how rude he had been that night. As he approached the bar, you cleared your throat and spoke.
“Excuse me, you should probably pay more attention, you spilled your drink all over me last week and then walked away."
The man looked confused.
"Uh," he started, "I wasn't here last week."
Dumbfounded, you stared at him with blinking eyes.
"Yes, you were. Were you that drunk you don't even know where you were? I like the haircut though," you added with a smirk.
"Oh no," he laughed. You were a bit annoyed that he wasn't taking this seriously.
He pointed towards the table he came from, "that was my brother, Jake. We're twins. I'm Josh, sorry about him."
You looked over to see a table full of people, including the man who ran into you.
"Oh my god, I'm an idiot and apparently was drunker than I thought," you said while hiding your face in your hands. "This is so fucking embarrassing."
"How about this," Josh trailed off while laughing, "I buy you a drink and we can go yell at my brother."
The two of you hit it off instantly, becoming fast friends. Although you two were complete opposites, you fit together like a puzzle. Josh was an early bird, while you were a night owl. You wanted everything to be bright colors, while Josh preferred neutrals. He was a rockstar, you had a corporate 9-5 job. Somehow, you both flowed together like you had been friends for your whole life. And of course, your feelings turned into something more. How could they not? He was your balance, the shoulder to lean on, the voice of reason in your life. But, you'd never acted on your feelings, too afraid to lose him.
A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts and back to the present. You jumped as you weren't expecting anyone, especially so late at night on Christmas Eve. Josh and his brothers went back home, your best friend was heading out of the country, and even the neighbor you were close to was heading out of the city. As you looked through the peephole, a wild head of curly hair appeared, followed by a toothy grin. You threw open the door with a surprised gasp.
“Josh! What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be here!”
He laughed as he walked past you with his hands full of bags.
“I couldn’t let you be alone on Christmas.”
Your heart melted right then. Josh headed off to your kitchen to drop off the bags before heading to your guest bedroom.
"I'm staying the night, by the way," he shouted from the bedroom. You let out a deep sigh before you rolled your eyes and followed his voice into the bedroom. "That way we can be together for Christmas morning."
Not that you minded Josh staying with you. He had stayed over more times than you could count — from him being too drunk to just not wanting to drive back home. Hell, he had a key to your house for emergencies. But something about it being Christmas Eve felt so domestic like you didn't have to pretend you didn't love him.
"What if I had plans? What if I had a gentleman caller visiting me later?"
You sat down on the edge of the bed and played with the edge of the comforter. Josh poked his head out of the attached bathroom with an eyebrow raised.
"First, do you?"
"Well, no. But I could've, you don--"
"Second, don't say gentleman caller, that's super fucking weird," Josh interrupted. "I know you're upset about not being home for Christmas. You shouldn't be alone."
"You should be with your family, Josh," you replied. "I was going to FaceTime with my family tomorrow, we had it all planned out. I'm okay with it."
Josh placed his hands on either side of your face and looked into your eyes. You took a deep breath and felt your heart start racing.
"It doesn't matter, I'm here with you now, so you're stuck spending Christmas with me."
He placed a kiss on your forehead before turning away towards the living room. You followed after him in a daze. It wasn't as if he hadn't kissed your forehead or cheek before, but it was always when he was past the point of tipsy. You pressed your hand to the spot where his lips were as if you could still feel them there. As you reached the kitchen, you saw Josh pulling various takeout containers from the bags.
"I ordered from Angelinos. I was surprised they were still open. I got your extra breadsticks and alfredo sauce, why are you staring at me like that?"
You shook your head as you whispered "sorry".
"What's going on in that head of yours? You've seemed out of it all night," Josh pushed the hair falling in front of your face behind your ear.
"I don't know," you sighed, willing yourself not to cry. "I guess I'm just missing my family more than I thought."
"Hey, come on. We're gonna have a great Christmas, just us two. You wanna get the drinks while I make you a plate?"
You nodded as you headed towards your fridge to grab a few beers and ciders. Taking the drinks into the living room, you placed them on the table before heading back to help Josh with the food. He shooed you out of the kitchen and followed you into your living room with your plates in hand. He sat the plates down and turned to head back to the bedroom.
"Where are you going now? I want to eat," you shouted to him.
"You can start eating," he yelled back. "I gotta grab something. Oh, get the movie going. I'll be right out."
You grabbed the remote to start the movie and sat down on the couch as you reached for your plate to eat. After a few bites, you opened a cider and took a drink as Josh sat down next to you. Two hours later, you had finished all the food and the movie was over. You stood up to clear the plates, but Josh stopped you.
"You relax, alright? I've got this," he said as he stood to gather the plates and headed towards the kitchen.
"Do you want a hot chocolate while I'm in here?" Josh said from the kitchen. "I can add the peppermint schnapps if you want!"
"Sure, can you make it with milk instead of water?"
"Of course, you want to pick another movie?"
"No," you replied. "I'll let you pick the next one. I probably won't make it through this one."
You sat in silence and scrolled through your phone as you waited for Josh to return. You heard his footsteps behind you and then felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked behind you as Josh placed a small box in your lap. He moved around to sit next to you.
"Open it," Josh said with a bright smile. You noticed he was wringing his hands together, a nervous habit of his. "It's an early present. I got you something else, but wanted you to open this tonight."
You untied the ribbon and slowly opened the box, "Josh, what is this? Is this mistletoe?"
Josh reached into the box to grab the plant and held it above his head.
"We're under the mistletoe. You know what that means, right?"
You stood there in shock with your mouth agape. There was no way he was saying what you thought he might be.
You stared at him and Josh laughed nervously as he continued, "please tell me I haven't been reading this wrong. If I have, I'll leave and we can forget about this whole thing. I don't think I am though. Can I kiss you?"
"Holy shit," you whispered. "Yes, please."
Josh reached around, placed a hand on the back of your neck, and pulled you close to him. Your eyes closed as he brought his lips to yours.
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he whispered before kissing you.
At that moment, it felt like time had stopped. Everything aligned to where it needed to be. It was like an electric shock.
Josh pulled back, but your eyes were still closed. As you opened them, Josh sat across from you grinning. You couldn't help but smile back.
"Kiss me again, Kiszka."
As Josh leaned in again, you thought, 'maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad.'
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kissingkiszka · 7 months ago
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i’m yearning for jake period fluff BAD so here’s my request! jake really wants y/n to stay over. she agrees but then tells him she’s having her period this week. y/n was super nervous and shy but jake was super understanding and caring. he’s adaptive to her needs (advil, heating pad, supplies) and takes care of y/n for the days she spends there. SUPER fluffy, realistic, sweet, and lighthearted.
By Her Side - Jake Kiszka x Reader
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Requested! I hope you enjoy :)
Words: 1.9k+
Summary: when Jake finds out the reader is on her period, he does everything in his power to help her feel better.
CW: 18+, MDNI, fluff, periods, talks of pain & period symptoms, use of pain medicine, surprises, cursing, there’s just lots of fluff, use of pet names, I believe that’s all!?
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6:32 p.m.
Jake: Come over?
You glance down at the notification on your phone and let out a loud sigh. You had just gotten your period yesterday and all the symptoms were hitting you like a brick. You reread his text a few times and think of all the possibilities. The second and third days were always the worst for you, and in no way did you want Jake to see you like this. You type out your response and bury yourself under another blanket.
6:36 p.m.
You: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
6:37 p.m.
Jake: Is everything alright?
6:38 p.m.
Jake: Call me.
Of course he’s going to be suspicious, you never say no to spending time with him. You watch as his name and face light up the screen. You let out a groan and lift the phone up to your ear.
“Jake-” You start.
“Hi Beautiful. What’s wrong?” He asks, worried.
“I'm fine. I’m just a bit preoccupied. That's all.” You unconvincingly tell him.
“Yeah, Y/N. I know you well enough to know that you're not fine right now.”
“Jake, I'm fine. I swear.” You had a feeling he wasn’t going to back down until you really told him what was wrong.
He inhales, and you can tell he's growing more concerned. “But you’re not.”
You liked Jake so much, and you really had a strong connection with him. But you just weren’t close enough with him yet to feel comfortable talking about all your period problems. You didn’t know how'd he react- if he’d be grossed out, or if he wouldn’t be understanding, or maybe he just didn’t want anything to do with this stuff. That is what made you the most nervous. It was a weird phase in your relationship that you couldn’t wait to get past. But maybe, this was the push that was needed to get you past it after all.
“Okay, Jake. Maybe you're right.” You fold, clutching your blanket closer to your chest.
“You know I’m here for you, always will be. So, lay it on me.”
“Well…” You hesitate for a bit. “I’m-uh, I got my period yesterday and I guess, I’m just not feeling well.” You shyly admit.
“Oh…” Jake pauses and a lump forms in your throat. “Honey, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He asks softly.
“I just- I didn’t know how you’d take it.”
“Baby, I’m always gonna be here for you. I mean it. Don’t be scared or nervous to talk about natural things with me.” He takes a breath. “Maybe some company will help.”
“Okay.” You whisper softly.
It's Jake, of course he would understand.
“I’m coming over. Hold tight.” He tells you before hanging up the phone.
You continue to lay down, scrolling mindlessly on your phone while you wait for Jake to come over. There’s no use in getting ready, he’s going to show up soon and you feel comfortable enough to be around him now that he knows what you’re going through.
Even though Jake only lives down the street from your place, it still takes him about 45 minutes until he arrives. You hear the tires pull onto the driveway and decide to send him a text.
7:26 p.m.
You: Key is under the mat. Don’t feel like getting up.
A few minutes later, you hear the door open and Jake’s voice announces his arrival.
“Honey?!”
“In here.” You sluggishly call out as footsteps grow closer to your room.
Your bedroom door swings open and Jake peers his head in. His eyes land on you, laying in bed.
“Hi, honey.” He softly smiles. He walks into your bedroom and you notice he's carrying multiple bags in hand. “You okay?”
“Hi Jakey.” You smile back at him, the only time you’ve smiled today. “Well, I kinda feel like shit. What’cha got there?”
“I would've gotten here sooner, except I made an essential pit stop on the way.” He tells you, dumping the bags on your bed.
“Awh, Jake, You didn't have to.”
“Let me take care of you.” He delicately runs his hand down your cheek, moving any hair out of your face. “There's that beautiful face.”
You begin to rummage through the bags together, seeing the various things he got for you.
“Well, I might’ve gone overboard.” He says as he pulls out a box of pads and a box of tampons. “I didn’t know which ones you preferred.”
“Thank you.” you nod. “That’s very thoughtful.”
“That’s not all.” He enthusiastically takes a bottle of Advil out of the bag and tosses it over to you. He then pulls out some chocolates and a box of herbal tea bags. “I can make this for you, you just let me know when you’d like it.”
“Thank you.” You graciously reach for a piece of chocolate and begin to munch on it. You immediately down the Advil in an attempt to get any sort of relief from the terrible cramps and the aching headache, amongst other symptoms.
“And, since you deserve it…” He reaches his hand into the second bag, and pulls out a bunch of body care items. “I got you a few bath bombs, a face mask, some body wash, and epsom salt. And look, this kind is specifically for periods.” He tells you, pointing to the package that reads ‘menstrual relief’.
You break out into a huge smile, nobody has ever done anything as sweet as this for you.
“Jake-” You sigh happily. “This is so sweet. Thank you.”
Even though your insides felt like they were at war with each other and all you wanted to do was bury yourself under a mountain of blankets for the next week, you couldn’t help but crack a smile. Jake always brought out the best in you.
“No need to thank me. I just want to see you happy.” He smiles and leans over to give you a hug.
He stands back up, and puts his hands on his hips while he thinks for a moment.
“Okay, so…” He begins. “You’re gonna stay here, and I’ll be right back.” He tells you before grabbing one of the bags off of your bed and walking out of your room.
You have no clue what he’s doing or where he’s going, so you begin to scroll mindlessly on your phone. You hear water begin to run in your bathroom. About 10 minutes later, Jake walks back into your bedroom.
“Where’d you go?” you question through a giggle.
“Come on. I’m gonna take good care of you.” He declared, helping you up out of bed.
“I can get up by myself.” you joked.
“I know you can, I just want to help.” He replied.
Feeling his strong arms wrapped around your waist while you went to stand was more than enough to send shivers down your spine.
“Okay, close your eyes and follow me.” He requests with a cheeky smile written across his face.
You sigh and close your eyes. He grabs your hand so he can easily guide you into the other room.
As he walks you across the hall, hand in hand, a relaxing aroma fills the air. You know you’ve entered the bathroom when you feel switch between the hallway's hardwood floors to the cold tile on your feet.
“Okay, ready?” He asks, squeezing your hand.
“Mhm.” You nod softly.
“Okay…open!” He announces.
You open your eyes to see the most relaxing bathroom set up ever. The lights are dimmed, there are burning candles on the countertop, your essential oil diffuser is pumping out lavender oil to help you relax, and there is a fully ready bubble bath awaiting you.
“I made you a bath.”
“Jake!” you gasp. “You did all of this? For me?”
“I sure did. You deserve it the most.” He lets go of your hand. “I’m sorry you’re going through so much right now.”
“It’s fine, Jake. It’s only my period. I get them every month.” You laugh, giving him an embrace. “This is the most thoughtful, sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me.”
“I know periods are monthly.” He laughs. “But if there is the slightest thing I can do for you during it, I will a hundred percent do it for you.”
“Thank you.” You grin, pulling out of the hug. “Stay the night?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He holds your forearms delicately and looks into your eyes. You could feel yourself getting lost in his deep brown eyes, and he gets lost in yours. After a few moments, you both snap back to reality.
He nervously giggles. “Oh! Don’t want the bath to get cold.”
You turn to face the bath and notice a tray next to your sink containing a face mask and one of the bath bombs he had just gotten for you. Jake sees that you notice the tray and carries it over to you.
“Almost forgot, you can use this face mask in the bath, if you want.” He kindly offered. “And I figured you’d want to put the bath bomb in yourself. Watch it fizz up..y’know..” He gives you a shy grin. He makes sure you’ve got everything you need to enjoy your bath time before he leaves you be.
After being able to decompress and clean yourself off in the warm and relaxing bath, you get out and wrap yourself in a fluffy towel that Jake had set aside for you. This was such a nice gesture from him, but it definitely wasn’t out of the norm for Jake. He always went out of his way to show his love, and this was no exception. Looking back, you had no idea why you were so nervous to tell him. You quickly dry yourself off and walk back to your room.
Back in your bedroom, you immediately notice your bed had been made with a set of freshly clean sheets. On top of your neatly made bed laid your most comfortable lounge clothes gracefully folded. Next to them were the boxes of pads and tampons that Jake had just bought for you. You quickly got dressed and wasted no time to make yourself comfortable. Jake was out in your living room, giving you privacy and space until you were decent.
“Darling, may I come in now?” He asks, knocking lightly on the door.
“Yes you may.” You reply, adjusting your shirt.
“How was the bath?” He inquires, laying down next to you.
“It was so nice. I feel so much better now.”
“I’m glad.” He chuckles.
“Thank you, really.” You say, turning to face him in bed. The smell of the clean sheets mixed with Jake’s musky cologne is more than enough to bring you peace.
“No need to thank me. I’m doing the bare minimum for you.”
“Wait, actually-”
“What do you need?” He immediately jumps up, ready to fulfill any of your requests.
“Could you bring me my heating pad?”
“Of course, honey.” He wastes no time and runs out of the room. He doesn’t want to leave you waiting.
“In the bathroom closet!” You exclaim, making sure he can hear you from wherever he is.
A few moments later, he saunters back into your room with it in hand. “Aha!” He plugs it in and hands it to you.
The rest of the night was spent with the two of you cuddling and watching some of your favorite comfort movies together. He even ordered take out from your favorite Chinese restaurant, per request.
That entire week he spent at your place, waiting on you hand and foot. He had you completely spoiled, but he knew you deserved it. Anything you needed, he jumped up at the first chance to get it for you.
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anthemofgvf · 2 years ago
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Behind Closed Doors: Jake Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction Series Announcement
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description: when your best friend asks for a favor, that being having his twin move in with you, you're hesitant. you've never really liked him, but you are struggling to meet your rent, so you oblige. who knew with time that you would become more upset with his presence, or upset with the fact you have underlying feelings for him that you don't want to face?
trope: enemies to lovers x roommates au!
warnings for this series: alcohol and tobacco usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing
a/n: alright, alright, i’ve been gatekeeping enough. this is my official announcement for my new upcoming series that will be posted as soon as I finish my current one! i’m beyond excited for this series and all of the plot points that i’ll be creating along the way! and, i hope you guys are as excited as I am:) now, i’m officially opening the floor to a “series taglist” (if you’re already in my taglist for jake fics you’re already marked down!). so, if you’d like to be tagged in this series, you can comment, reblog, or private message me and ask! can’t wait to get this sucker started:)
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gretavanlace · 1 year ago
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Beloved
Jake Kiszka x reader
18+ only! Minors do not interact!
Warnings: graphic sexual content, language, dirty talk, light impact play, slight dom/sub vibe, digital penetration, implied unprotected sex, pet names, etc
Just a little blurb. Short and sweet…okay, maybe not sweet. Also, barely edited ❤️
Bent over the desk in his office, you quiver for the rasping voice floating through your head. A filthy satin ribbon roving through a sex drenched breeze.
“Touch her, bunny,” his fingers slip inside you, fluttering just enough to make your hips search for more. “Touch her just like I touch your pretty cunt, nice and slow. Be gentle with my girl.”
“Fuck, Jake,” you rest your fingers against the worn smooth wood of his guitar “harder, please”
“Ah ah ah,” he hums, tsking his sinful tongue at your ear just before nuzzling against your temple “you treat my baby sweet. Gotta be gentle with the beloved, and I’m gonna show you how. If you play her just right,” his touch swirls upward, stroking delicate circles right where you need him until you shake out a breath of a moan “yeah, if you play her just right, she makes the prettiest sounds”
“Fuck me,” your nails wisp over the sleek instrument he’s entrusted you with and he lands a stinging smack against the side of your thigh, scolding you, punishing you, nudging you closer to where you’d so love to go, with his tenderly harsh treatment.
“Watch your mouth, dirty girl,” he taunts, licking a slow path along the curve of your throat “and you watch how you touch my girl. Apologize.”
Your thighs are shaking, and slick with your need, desperate to spread wider for him, to beg him shamelessly with your body, but you are held fast, slung over the desk between his legs. “I’m sorry, Jake, I—“
His left hand tightens around the nape of your neck and his right plays leisurely between your thighs, tapping at your clit, nudging at your weeping entrance, taunting and toying. “Not to me, bun. Apologize to her.”
Down you go, guided by his grip, until your hitching breath is fanning over cherry wood “Kiss her better, tell her how badly you feel for mishandling her. She’s my baby, and you’re going to treat her as such. Look how beautiful she is, look how she curves,” his hand guides your palm up her side, but his other hand pets down the dip of your waist, proving where his touch really wants to linger.
“Right here,” he places your finger over a string “listen to the way she sighs music into the air when you play her right…” now his finger hovers over your slick, swollen clit, “there…”
A single circle of the ragged, calloused pad of his finger weakens you further “Don’t stop, Jake,” you whine, tears spilling slowly down your cheeks, creating wandering tracks to mark your need, for him to enjoy with those ravenous eyes of his “please, just a little more…I’m almost there. Fuck, please.”
“Please what?” He turns your head until your cheek rests against the pick guard, lipstick smearing across ruby wood.
You love this guitar. How could you not? The way he works his fingers over her so reverently, watching him seduce rock and roll wails out of strings and frets is almost holy, and yet deliciously unholy in a way that haunts your days during the most mundane of activities.
The way his hips grind and roll against her, fucking music into the air like some sadistic deity flaunting his talisman. The jealousy that flourishes in your soul for that inanimate object that he adores so…his beloved? Well, you’d never lay claim to it in a thousand years.
“Please, what?” He swats at you again, driving a quick slap into your ass and then groans a soft “look at that shit, bunny’s so fucking pretty.” almost to himself as he eyes the recoil.
“Fuck me,” it’s a whimper, an anguished prayer you’re afraid he won’t answer. “Fuck me, god please just fuck me.”
“Pick her up,” his demand is low in his throat, resounding through the room, an ominous tune…he is music, always.”
“What?” The velvety head of his cock - warm and plush, searching and circling - nudges at your cunt. “Don’t make me think right now.”
“Don’t make you think? Aw, why not? Is my little bunny cock drunk already? Not a thought in her pretty, pretty head? I’m not even inside you yet.”
“Don’t be mean,” it’s a meaningless request. You want him to be mean. You want him to treat you like a whore. His gentle wrath pairs so nicely with the delicate devotion that you know hides beneath. The love pours out of him, washing over you…a summer monsoon unleashed to cool and quench the boiling asphalt of your soul.
Even now, as his grip closes tightly around the back of your neck once more, with savage strength, you can feel that love. “I said, pick. her. up, bunny baby, don’t make me tell you again.”
Gingerly, you close your shaking hands around the neck of his Gibson, but he stops you short, scolding you like an unruly child as he kicks your legs open wider for him, still luring tiny whines from your lips with his beautiful cock, pulling it just out of reach each time you grind back in attempt to force him inside.
“Not by her neck.” He mouths at your neck, sucking you until you’re trembling “by her body, bunny. Careful, now…you know how much I love her.”
Tenderly as you might a newborn babe, you lift her up.
“Good girl,” his praise spins your head, and he pets your hair until you release a sound dangerously close to a purr. “That’s my good fucking girl. Hold her close, for me, bunny. Keep her safe while I fuck this pretty little cunt in two.”
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ashisill · 1 year ago
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Honey, it’s alright
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Summary: Josh brought you home completely wasted. Jake takes care of you, and attempts to sober you up.
Warnings: obviously alcohol use, mentions drinking and driving(it absolutely does not happen), praise, crying/emotional drunk, sweet absolutely tooth rotting Jake.
~
“Hi joshhhhh” you yelled as he walked into the party.
“Oh my god your fucking wasted. Girl we gotta go home” Josh told you as he saw the state you were in.
“Wait no I am notevendrunk joshuaaa” you slurred.
“Yes you are darling. I gotta get you home. Can you come with me please?” He asked you as he dragged your arm towards the door.
You pulled away “We going to Jakey?” You asked letting yourself fall into josh. “Jakey Jakey Jakey” you sang
“Exactly! That’s exactly where we’re going” he told you.
The car ride back was a roller coaster. It started out quite with you asking a few questions, and Josh always answered them. No matter how odd they were. Then you turned the radio up, and you and Josh sang your hearts out. Of course this roller coaster wouldn’t be complete without a breakdown.
“I love this song” you busted into tears.
“Oh god don’t cry” he turned the radio down. You yelled at him for it, and he was trying his hardest not to laugh about it.
“It’s .. just … so …. gooood” the tears fell from your eyes.
“Hey guess what” he said trying to distract you. You tried to guess but it was nowhere close. “We’re almost to Jake!” Which of course made you cry more.
“I miss Jakeyyy” you curled into a ball and cried.
“I can’t win” Josh laughed.
You arrive back at your house. Josh had barely parked the car when you decided it would be a good idea to take off running inside. You somehow made it to the door, and Jake opened it. When he heard a loud thud crash into it.
“Dear god your wasted love” Jake said. “Oh fuck did you drive home? How did you get here? Are you safe?” You laughed as you fell the ground on the front porch. Josh started walking up to Jake.
“I drove don’t worry. I wasn’t even there long enough to drink I promise I am completely sober” Josh assured him.
“How much did she drink?” Jake asked.
“I don’t know I literally just walked in. She came up to me completely hammered.
“Jesus. Hey stand up okay. I gotta get you in the house baby” Jake said, and wrapped his arms around you to lift you to your feet.
“Hi Jakey” you said letting your body go limp in his arms.
“Hi sweetheart” he laughed and gave you a smile.
“I amdrunkkkkk” you slurred.
“Trust me I know” he said but your attention had been turned somewhere else.
“Where’s Josh? Where’s Josh?” You panicked.
“I am right here silly girl” josh laughed.
“Hi joshyyyy. Did you know I am drunk?” you let out a belly laugh as they drugged you inside.
“No who would of guessed” Josh and Jake both laughed. They laid you on the couch as you talked pure nonsense to them. Jake handed you a water and demanded you drink it all. When you did he just filled it up again. Which angered you, but when you asked him why. He said “I am trying to sober you up so you won’t feel as bad in the morning” he flashed you a soft smile that made your heart melt. It was impossible to be angry after that, so you drank the water.
“Those were such interesting stories my love, but it’s bed time now” Jake said.
“No no I can’t- I can’t I have to- I have no- shower” they looked at each other confused. “You want to take a shower?” Jake asked. “Yep” was all you responded with.
“You headed home?” Jake asked Josh as he walked you to the bathroom.
“Yeah you’ve got her” Josh said. You broke into tears in jakes arms.
“Baby what’s wrong?” Jake asked you brushing your hair out of your face.
“Josh don’t leave” you cried drunken tears.
“I’ve got to darling. Lover boy is waiting on me. I’ll be back in the morning” Josh told you.
“No no no tell him to stay Jake” you said as Jake carried you like a baby.
“He’ll be back in the morning. We’re gonna take a shower remember?” Jake said.
“Oop yeah … okay. Bye joshhhh” you laughed throwing your head back.
“Oop yeah? Interesting dialect” Josh laughed at your antics. “Goodbye darling … call me if you need anything Jake”
~
“Is the water to hot?” Jake asked you. You shook your head no, and he helped you into the shower. Maybe it was the shampoo that was leaking on the shelf, or maybe it was josh leaving. Perhaps it was the music that was playing. You started feeling that crash. When the high starts to wear off. Your sorta sobering up and nothing makes sense. Yeah that’s the point your at right now.
You started to whine. Which was followed by “no tears my love. Everything’s okay I promise”. You sniffed, and looked at Jake. “Good job just like that” he comforted you. You had no problem telling him how much praise meant to you. Ever since that conversation he made sure to always give you what you needed. “Your doing so good baby. Just breath”.
“I am ?” You questioned.
“Yes angel your doing amazing. I am so proud of you. Just keep breathing just like that” he washed your hair. You did as you were told, and took some deep breaths. “Give me a few more okay?” You nodded you head, and breathed in and out. “Look at that I am so proud. You’re okay I promise”. He looked you in the eyes, and saw how you were struggling to hold back the tears.
“I know nothing really makes sense right now, but I need you to understand a few things” you nodded your head to show you understood. “You’re okay, your safe, and I am right here” you nodded again. “Do you understand?” Which was followed by a nod. “Words” Jake told you.
“Yes I understand” you said softly.
“Good girl” he pulled you into a hug.
You stayed like that for a while. Skin to skin. Safe in jakes arms. You’ve always thought your inner child picked him. A sense of peace comes over you when Jake steps in. He makes your heart safe. You know he won’t break it, and that’s a feeling most people won’t feel.
~
Jake got you dressed and walked you to the bedroom. “What do you wanna watch?” You cuddled up on his side ignoring the question. “Any suggestions? … no …. Okay then we’re watching this”.
“Nooooo I don’t wanna watch this” you complained.
“Well you didn’t tell me what you wanted. Let’s try again what do you wanna watch?” You shrugged your shoulders. “Use your words”
“Shameless” you said. Jake wasn’t the biggest fan of shameless but he would always watch it with you. Normally getting into the episodes then you’d ask “I thought you didn’t like this show?” Followed by a giggle from you. “Its interesting okay”
As you laid your head on his tummy he brushed through your hair with his fingers. Every time he gently scraped your scalp you could feel yourself falling. “Getting tired sweetheart?” You shook your head no, although you both knew the answer.
“Y/n?” He called out. You finally drifted to sleep on jakes tummy. He picked you up gently and laid you on your pillow. You stirred around letting out a whine. “Shh shh I am here right” he pulled you into his arms.
“Get some sleep darling” he placed a kiss to your forehead.
“Jake?” You asked in a whisper.
“Yes?” He asked.
“I love you” he said weakly drifting back to sleep.
“I love you too” he gave you another forehead kiss “and I always will”.
And just like that two souls intertwined with each other for a good nights rest.
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maedesculpaeusoubi · 2 years ago
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reread this and it wasn’t as cringe as I remembered it to be, so im reblogging my silly little workpiece while i continue to pray for this writing block to shoo away 🤍
Some of My Best Friends Are Trains | j.m. kiszka
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Word count: ~1.5k
Content warning: none! kinda.. fluffy?
Synopsis: To start the new year in a good way, you decided to travel around Europe and your train cabin is the only one with an extra empty chair
A/n: I haven’t written in a very long time so this is probably really bad lol pls feel free to leave some writing tips and stuff<3
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The new year came and along with it came the new year solutions you had decided upon: you were going to start the year travelling around Europe on some kind of self-discovery journey.
(In reality you just wanted to see and take pictures of pretty mountains and sparkling rivers and night skies without any pollution.)
You had been staying in the Netherlands for the last three days, exploring the busy streets of Amsterdam that smelled exactly like how you’d imagine Snoop Dogg to smell like, taking pictures of the slanted but nonetheless cute houses and flowers at the park near your hostel.
The city had meant to be only a quick stopover between your home country and all the little villages in Europe that were on your visit list, but you ended up deciding to extend your time. The country had welcomed you with open arms and you felt a little smile grow on your lips when your mind wandered back to all the things you were privileged enough to experience in the first few days of the new year.
Although this wasn’t your first time (responsibly!) escaping from your reality and its stressful duties, it was your first time doing it on your own. Coincidentally, it was also your first time taking the train from one country to another.
It’s not a secret that the concept of travelling by train has been extremely romanticized in the media in the past and still is to this day. You weren’t exactly a stranger to it; you had done it innumerous times on nights out with friends, it being the fastest and cheapest way to your group’s favorite club across the city.
You never thought much about it; only ever having seen it as another way of transportation. Because, let’s be real here, what makes it so different from a car ride? The “depressed-teen-looking-out-of-the-car-window-listening-to-music-on-a-rainy-day” movie scene could easily be recreated in a train, and vice-versa.
It all made sense when you saw the view change from concrete jungle to lands of green. There was something magical and inexplicable about the way the sun hit the trees and the rivers alongside of the train track. The blue sky you saw earlier this morning had been replaced with the most beautiful gradient of the softest hues of yellow, orange and pink you had ever seen. You couldn’t help but let the smallest smile enhance your face when you looked at the clouds and noticed how they reminded you of that project you worked on in 6th grade: a do-it-yourself cloud made out of cotton balls, hot glue, nylon and an awful amount of white glitter that your mom was never truly able to get out of your bedrooms carpet floor.
(She knew it was a mistake to get carpet floors upstairs, but your dad insisted: “I’m not waking up in the middle of the night to empty my leg and then die from temperature shock because the floor was too goddamn cold! Carpet it is, honey.”)
Your thoughts were disturbed by knocking on the glass of your train cabin and your eyes demanded to follow the sound.
And thank the Gods they did, because you couldn’t help but feel that your sight had been blessed with what seemed like the most beautiful man you’d ever seen.
“Hi, sorry to disturb you. I was wondering if I could sit with you? All the other cabins are full and I really don’t want to sit on the ground next to the doors. My khakis are new.” The stranger had his hands on his hips and looked from you to his pants, his curly hair moving and slightly bouncing at the movement of his head.
As if on autopilot, your eyes left his face and scanned the rest of his being. It took you almost by surprise to see someone around your age dressed the way he was dressed, and not in a complete Nike outfit.
On top of the said khakis, he was wearing a white tunic with intricate embroidery details which went really nice with all the bead necklaces that adorned his neck.
“Hi,” you answered after a long time. Your eyes were focused on his once again and you mentally cursed yourself when you felt your ears get warm. “Yeah, of course. I’m Y/N, by the way.”
The stranger showed you the warmest smile and got into the train cabin. The door automatically closed behind him as he got his baggage on under the free seat opposite of yours. “Josh, nice to meet you. And thank you, by the way!”
You smiled and turned your head to look out of the window once again. You weren’t trying to ignore him – the opposite, actually. You were trying to figure out if it was appropriate to ask him where he was going; he piqued your interest and, yes, you were actually really curious about him. You were still wondering about a way to get the conversation flowing, without possibly making him uncomfortable, when he spoke up first:
“So.. what’s your destination?” He had taken off his shoes and placed them next to his bag under the red train seat.
“I’m going to the South East of France. La Grave, to be more exact.” You smiled. You had been to Paris once before with your parents so the decision of skipping the big city and going to the South East wasn’t really that hard for you.
“La Grave..” Josh tasted the name in his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed and you could see the engines of his head working. “Nope, can’t say I ever heard of it.”
“It’s a village, a tiny one. Not even five hundred people.” You chuckled awkwardly. You silently cursed yourself for the second time in ten minutes when you realized you just did the Debby Ryan move. You forced your hand out of your hair and cleared your throat. You looked outside the window for a second before looking back at Josh. “It’s in the South East of France, surrounded by mountains and fields filled with wildflowers. A much needed escape of reality, if you ask me.”
“Yeah, I feel that.” Josh’s eyes were pensive and his fingers played with his moustache. “I travel a lot because of my job, but it’s mostly just the big cities, you know? Decided to change it up a bit.”
“Your first time travelling by train as well?” You couldn’t help but smile as you asked the question.
“Oh, no. Definitely not.” He laughs. “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done this. I think at this point that some of my best friends are trains.”
You laughed at his little joke and, yeah, maybe did your pupils dilate a little when you heard the familiar words. “Are you a fan of The Waterboys?” The referred band was one of your favorites and you couldn’t help but ask him when he accidentally (or not, you couldn’t tell yet) quoted your favorite song by your favorite band.
“Never heard of them. Why? Should I know them?”
“Judging on your choice of clothes, I think you’d love them.” You smiled already taking your phone and earphones out of your jackets pocket. “You just said: some of my best friends are trains. They have a song called exactly that.
You could see that you had piqued his interest so you quickly stood of from your seat to sit next to him, handling over the right earphone to Josh and clicking on the song.
And did you ever have one of those days Where the world's wide open and you can do anything
“By the way, where are you heading?” You asked while you continued scrolling down your playlist. You were selecting a few other songs to put in the queue and so failed to notice the look Josh was giving you.
Josh couldn’t help but notice how peaceful you looked like that: your hair in all directions thanks to the open window train, warm smile adorning your lips as you sing along the lyrics of what might be Josh’s new favorite song.
And you can go anywhere and you don't have to think About who you'll offend every time that you even blink
That wasn’t the only thing that Josh noticed about you. It wasn’t like he knew you, because, after all, you had met not even half an hour ago, but he could sense how comfortable you were around him.
You could have easily put on your earphones and ignore the random guy that entered your train cabin – but you didn’t. You chose to share them with him, instead.
As the last rays of sunshine painted the soft features of your face, Josh also made a decision that wasn’t hard at all to make.
I'm going to the station where a big red train is waiting to take me to the country again
“I’m going to La Grave, too.”
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