#jordan young butt

[chicoespecial2022]

Jordan Young, No.11 Yeovil Town FC, showing off his very nice footballer’s butt and his underwear choice: visible brieflines. Josh Owers No.15 nice butt too 👍

[icanseethefuture333]

PAC 18+: how to walk ‘em like a dog 🦮🎀🐆

“Back to the kitty, ‘cus she kinda pretty

Couldn’t stop lookin’ at her ti-ti-ti— face!

Me and cat mama rolled into the distant fog

Little did she know, I’m a nasty dog.”

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Pussy Talk by City Girls ft. Doja Cat

Kehlani by Jordan Adetunji

The Zone by The Weeknd

Ten of Cups, Six of Cups, Five of Swords, Make An Altar, Chanting, Use Your Hands, Camera, Mirror, & The Grim Reaper

Hey pile,1 😝. The person who wishes for you to walk them like a dog admires you so much, they might even over romanticize you in their head, to them, you fulfill their fantasies. They think about you in different positions and wonder how your hands feel on them 😮‍💨. They get hard/wet just by the thought of you alone. I believe you show that to this person as well, you could tease them often or like to give them a show whenever you walk past them. “P*ssy talented it do cartwheels and he pay cus he like how that part feels, p*ssy give speeches, heart felt, say the p*ssy really talk like it Garfield (it do)” 😅 oh god, I think this person is obsessed with the sounds your bodies make during sex, they are heavily infatuated with you. “I like the way your body is, is that too obvious? Okay I like your confidence, oh that’s what good karma, like kehlani is, bad just like kehlani is.” This person desires to be fair in the bedroom, they want to cum with you, pile 1. This might be someone you’ve known since childhood, your first love, or an ex that you met when you were young. You could be playful and mischievous in the bedroom, but also like to take the lead. Switch vibes are prominent in this pile. You and your person like to give and take. You could be a brat and they want to be your brat tamer. If you follow each other, this person has been watching your stories on social media, I feel like you post risqué photos for them and wonder if it’s working 👀 trust me it has, cus they have been getting it off to your pictures in secret 🤫… This person definitely worships your body and your beauty.

Full reading on my patreon

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

Goodies by Ciara ft. Petey Pablo

Slumber Party by Ashnikko ft. Princess Nokia

Bimbo Doll by Tila Tsoli ft. BJ Lips

King of Wands, King of Cups, Knight of Cups, Watch A Movie, Massage, Rest, Talking, Keys on a Ring, & Love Call

I love how hyper feminine my pile 2 is 🎀! You guys are so popular and have so many options in your dating life. People think that you are so cute but in a tempting way. Do you dress y2k, mcbling, or coquette? Whatever your style might be, people think it looks so hot on you. You could attract both girls and guys with your looks, especially older guys. “You may look at me and think that I’m just a young girl but I’m not just a young girl. Baby this is what I’m lookin for - sexy, independent, gotta spend it type for gettin his dough. I’m not being too dramatic that’s just how I gotta have it. I bet you want the goodies, bet you thought about it.” You know your worth and don’t settle for less, despite your sweet appearance you know you give people a run for their money. People even wish to give you their money. Are you a sugar baby? If not, you should become one, you’d be very successful. I have a feeling you have people wrapped around your pretty finger. Others desire to spoil you with gifts and money. Dare I say I see this pile being with both a woman and a man (maybe even at the same time?)👀. “Me and your girlfriend playin’ dress up in my house, I gave your girlfriend c*nnilingus on my couch. She cute, kawaii, hentai boobies that excite me. I think she really likes me, ask politely, can I - woo ooh ooh (slumber party).” Two people wish to initate things with you but you have total control over the situation. Your features really entice people, you could have doe eyes, big lips, nice boobs, and a cute butt. When you talk, this person(s) doesn’t know where to focus their eyes, they get so nervous around you and have to control themselves from getting too intense with the conversation. They also really wish to hear you dirty talk to them. Your voice is a a major turn on to this peoples, it’s giving phone sex operator level of skill lol. As I was typing “hear”, I accidentally spelled “head” so they definitely want to see your lips on their d*ck/p*ssy as well😚.

Full reading on patreon

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Get On Your Knees by Nicki Minaj ft. Ariana Grande

Distraction by Kehlani

Rocket by Beyoncé

Eight of Pentacles, Seven of Wands (reversed), Nine of Cups, Sex, Abundance Planning, Deep Breathing, The Sword and The Rose, Not Today, & Clock

PHEW 😮‍💨 don’t hurt em now, pile 3. This is my dominant pile. You guys know how to take charge in the bedroom. This person wants to be at your mercy. I’m talking having you on top and riding them as hard as you can or them getting on their knees to beg at your feet. This person actually wants to be walked like a dog lol. They are very submissive and like pain. I feel like you know this as well 😂! You have so much control over them and they want you to know you run this relationship. I feel you and this person are already together or have a thing going on, if not I see things progressing sexually pretty fast. This might be a tinder date situation. “Get on your knees, get on your knees, baby just get on your knees. Say pretty please, pretty please, pretty please. Baby just say pretty please” you could like to use this person as a stress reliever. The sex would be slow and intense. “Do me a favor, pick me up, take me out later. Don't worry about no paper cus I got much stacked up for nights like this” I see that you’re a hard working person and don’t have time to be in a committed relationship but value trust, loyalty, and honesty. This person provides that safe space for you and allows you to express your flaws in peace. You don’t have to be perfect and fake a smile like you usually have to do in professional settings. I see that this person really wishes to be with you in a romantic way but doesn’t want to rush or force things on you if they know you have other responsibilities to tend to. It’s reminding me of Nani and David from Lilo & Stitch. David had a huge crush on Nani but due to her focusing on needing to be there for Lilo and being a provider, she didn’t have time to acknowledge his feelings until later she was settled in her career. I see that you are grateful towards this person and attracted to their emotional intelligence.

Full reading on patreon

Pile 4:

Shufflemancy -

Blah Blah Blah by Kesha ft. 3OH!3

Please me by Cardi B ft. Bruno Mars

Dip It Low by Christina Milian

The Chariot, Seven of Swords, Ten of Wands, Pleasure, Flow Like Water, Hydrate, Addiction, Date, & The Phoenix

Heyyy, pile 4 😉. I see that this person got you down bad lol but not to worry since the feeling is mutual. I feel that you came on to this person before they even did. You could be an extrovert while this person is an introvert. They’re very reserved and are careful with how they express themselves. You might flirt with this person while they’re on the job or when they’re focusing in class. They like to pretend they are disinterested in your advances to see how much you’re willing to keep going after them. It could stroke their ego a little bit knowing someone as “cute” as you likes them (I heard an emphasis on the word “cute”). You could be feeling confused on whether or not they like you back and it results in you feeling pouty about the situation. This connection could be relatively new but this person is wanting to explore how things go! This person could want to tease you a lot or perhaps even degrade 🫠. They might like to talk shit playfully just to get under your skin. For some reason I feel like this person likes to make you mad 💀 they can be really annoying. They like when you tell them to shut up or put them in their place. If you yelled at them even and kissed this person the next, they would live for that shit. They’re kinda toxic honestly 😂. “blah, bl-bl-blah, blah, blah. Coming out'cha mouth with'cha blah, blah, blah. Zip your lip like a padlock (Yeah) and meet me in the back with the Jack at the jukebox (back, back). I don't really care where you live at, just turn around, boy, let me hit that. Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat just show me where your d*ck’s at”. This person really enjoys your banter and despite being so hard on you they really only have a soft spot for you, I heard “that’s my baby” 🥹☺️. Pile 4, you must have a great ass as well 🍑. This person looks at your physique when you’re not looking, they really want to know what it feels like to have your body pressed against them. “Please me, baby. Turn around and just tease me, baby. You know what I want and what I need, baby. (Let me hear you say) Please” this person’s energy is honestly all over the place 💀 they’re just so horny lol. This person wants you *london accent* BAD, man.

Full reading on patreon

Pile 5:

Shufflemancy -

Lolly by Maejor ft. Justin Bieber & Juicy J

Walk Like This by FLO

Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland

Seven of Pentacles, Page of Cups, The Star (reversed), Plan A Meal, Nourish Your Temple, Music, Love, Passion, & Photograph

Ooo wee, pile 5🫣🤭, when I say this person has a biiiiig 📦 for you. This person has very masculine energy, almost giving fuckboy/frat guy vibes 😂. They could be very fit and muscular with a nice smile, they know they’re fine and attract a lot of people towards them. There could be a height difference between you and this person. Their attraction to you is because of the stereotypical phrase “idk you’re just different”. They don’t have the exact reasons why they’re into you but they do like your creativity, mannerisms, and shy demeanor. This person could have a corruption kink 💀. They could want to see you break out of that good girl / good boy routine and try something new and risky. You and this person know of each other but don’t seem to be very close, perhaps they are in your friend circle or you guys are just acquaintances. They often have dirty thoughts of you giving them head and seeing how much you can take of them. This person could wine and dine you first before wanting to go down on you. “Order what you want, girl, it ain't no problem. I'ma tell the waitress that my baby need a bottle. Order what you want, said it ain't no problem. Got a piece of candy and it's all for you. She say she love my lolly. She wanna make it pop. She say she love my lolly. She wanna kiss the top”. They like sex that’s really rough and nasty, if it’s not messy and loud they’re not into it 😭. I see that they’re into positions like 69, cowgirl, and missionary. They’re big on seeing your face during sex, they get really cheeky about the good work they’re doing and would want to pin your hands down so you can beg for more. I do see jewelry and this person wearing chains🙂‍↔️. This person would be more so walking you like a dog but you have them on a leash in the sense you keep them coming back. They could have you walking funny after you’re done 🤭 you might be really sore the next day as well. “There's a reason I walk like this (I walk). My baby, he be lovin' on this (Oh yeah). When he do it, he be workin' that shit (Oh yeah) And every night he got me wantin' more of it”. You might feel confident and pleased after having sex with this person and can feel a sense of relief.

Full reading on patreon

Pile 6:

Shufflemancy -

Play With It by Tommy Genesis

Who Am I (What's My Name?) by Snoop Dogg

Girls Need Love by Summer Walker

The Fool (reversed), The Sun, Five of Cups (reversed), Write a Gratitude List, Take a Walk, Clean Your Space, Family, Not Enough, Ax, & Healing Heart

Pile 6, you still not over your ex, huh 😔? It’s ok, no judgment here, baby 🫶. I see you and your ex still have an attachment together, things might be on and off or you don’t really know where the direction of this relationship is headed towards. I see that you are a very caring person and because of miscommunication, you and this person seem to never be on the right foot. It’s possible some of you who picked this pile have a baby with this person or will get pregnant (please use protection if this isn’t what you want!). I see a lot of fertility going on in this pile, you and this person could prefer to make love or have sex as if you’re making a baby lol. This person could have a breeding kink? They get turned on by the idea of you being pregnant with their child. Whenever you wear sundresses that is also sexy to them. I feel like your body is so tea, pile 6. Either you’re really thick and curvy or your body is just gorgeous to people, especially your sp. This person fantasizes about doing it raw while you touch yourself in front of them. “Play wit' the p*ssy, wanna play wit' the p*ssy. Come get a hooky, baby, come get a hooky. I wanna fuck you, baby, I wanna fuck you. If we not fuckin', baby, come get it poppin'”. This person is scared to fully pursue because you seem to be in a place of healing in your life and doesn’t want to add to that. There is another person that is new coming who also wishes to take your ex’s spot 👀 Oop! I feel like this will be their friend who will make passes at you and this will make your sp really jealous lol. In the bedroom, their jealousy could make them more dominant and want to take control. There is a lot about wanting to hear you moan or scream their name. They can be very vocal too i'm getting a lot about hissing so maybe they hiss whenever you get their spot? PHEW- They could want to fuck you doggy style while they spank your ass. “She want the nigga with the biggest nuts, and guess what? He is I and I am him. Slim with the tilted brim, what's my motherfuckin' name? Snoop Doggy Dogg (The bomb). Snoop Doggy Dogg Snoop Doggy Dogg (The bomb)” they can be really boastful after sex if they get you to cum and you can get annoyed by this lol. You might tell your person “it wasn’t even allat🙄” and they’ll tease you cus they know it was 😋. I see this person providing you with aftercare and massaging your back and feet. Even though you might not be together at the moment, this person really values you as a person and knows their place.

Full reading on patreon

Pile 7:

Shufflemancy -

Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher

JT Coming by JT

Huff n Puff by Red Velvet

Page of Swords, Knight of Wands (reversed), The Emperor, Be Still, Energy Work, Sync with the Moon, The Snake, Lightning, & Separation

Alright this is giving my queer pile 🥰, very androgynous energy all around here 😎. Regardless of what your gender might be, both you and this person are independent and like to have things a certain way. You could have met them through a dating app or while on a date with another person (Crazy work but ok 😂). I'm getting maybe someone is a bartender or works at some place where they have to socialize a lot. You and your sp are very flirtatious towards the other but someone gets super shy when it comes to compliments. This is for a select few of you but some of you might be transgender? Perhaps you are a trans man/woman and this person is cisgender. You might be nervous to be too flirty with them in case they might reject you but honestly i'm getting go for it baby, life is too short to be worrying about those things (just remember to be safe is all 🫶🏽). This person will be very polite and respectful towards you so just allow yourself to unwind when you go out with this person. "I ain't gotta do a lot of flexing (Uh-huh). Shorty, you already know what it is. Ha, and girl, tonight we gonna do a lot of sexin', yeah. Can't nobody do your body like this." They could be very forward and direct when it comes to communication they do not like beating around the bush, i'm getting someone likes to man spread a lot or you will notice that they sit with their legs open. Laaaawd when I tell you this person has a big 🍆 or owns one, they will have that shit ready for you LOLLL. This person gives big dick energy they're just very secure with themselves and how they carry on. You might feel insecure about some things and ask them "does this bother you?" or "do you find this attractive?" and they're gonna be like "yah" to everything. THEY MIGHT NOT EVEN GIVE A VERBAL RESPONSE TBH they just might nod their head or whatever and look at you like "is we fuckin' or what 😏🎶?". To them, these questions don't make sense like for example they would think "why wouldn't I like hip dips?" or "facial harmony? what the hell does that even mean? I don't care about that, I care about you." So if you are someone who compares themselves to people on the internet truuuust when I say this person is not chronically online to understand any of that shit. They like what they see and they just want to give it to you and more. "It's been a while since you gave, ho, it's time to give it up (Give it up). Like a bitch with a fresh BBL, you can't sit with us (Nah). Fine motherfucker, white boys say I rock (Hah). I gotta stay protected 'cause y'all stay on my c*ck. My new whip beautiful, I call it p*ssy whip. It was a gift, my nigga friends say he p*ssy whipped." Your sp might be older as well or very mature for their age.

Full reading on patreon

Pile 8:

Shufflemancy -

SHY GUY by Tinashe

Good For You by Selena Gomez ft. A$ap Rocky

Unfold by Alina Baraz

Seven of Swords, Five of Pentacles, The Star, Journal, Look for Fairies, Movement, Hammer, The Dragonfly, & Self-Indulgence

Aww this is my soft pile 🛌. I see that you guys are very spiritual and dreamy. You might fantasize a lot about this person. For some of you, you might even be manifesting them. I see that the feelings you have towards this person are very tender and loving. I see that this person is very flighty and doesn’t wish to have such a big commitment. This person you are interested could have ghosted you or there’s something wrong with your communication. Maybe you and this person have different time zones or a conflict of schedule. There’s something about the person not being there for you. “Shy guy, always sayin' it's the wrong time. Even though you know it feels right. Love don't fit into your timeline (La, la, la, la). Shy guy, always sayin' it's the wrong time. Even though you know it feels right. Love don't fit into your timeline. Shy guy (Guy, guy, guy, guy, guy)” I believe you are being too kind to this person and need to detach and allow them to chase you. Focusing on yourself and seeing other people will allow this person to show up for you and be the person that you need. Now is the time for you to be self indulgent and take care of yourself. Some of you should practice healing in the bedroom and should learn about what makes you feel good sexually. Perhaps exploring with new partners will help you find new things that provide pleasure. I see that you are very submissive or lean towards more vanilla. Try to vocalize what makes you feel good to your partner and be more assertive. Your energy reminds me of Jhené Aiko’s song “P*$$y Fairy”, very sensual but delicate. To this person if you were to show them your new found confidence, they will crumble to their knees and will feel stunned. They might ask you questions like “where did you learn this baby???” Or “have you been having fun without me?”. They really love how you taste 😳 this sp wants to pull your dress/skirt up or pants off and just go to town. Their favorite thing is when you’re all dolled up and getting ready to go out. “Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight. Do my hair up real, real nice. And syncopate my skin to your heart beating. Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you. I just wanna look good for you, good for you. Let me show you how proud I am to be yours.” I’m seeing that they admire your facial expressions during sex for to them it’s too cute, something about makeup smudging? Things can get really messy 👀

Full reading on patreon

Pile 9:

Shufflemancy -

Come Alive by Jackson Wang

Earned It by The Weeknd

Swim by Chase Atlantic

Eight of Wands, Death, The Hanged One, Dance, Look to the Stars, Sound Healing, The Grim Reaper, Ascending, & Healthy Choices

When I tell you this pile is NASTYYY. It’s honestly crazy how much this person wants to match your freak, pile 9. Definitely saved best for last. The sex almost feels cinematic in a way. Something about this person just gives main character vibes that is so seductive you can’t turn your eyes away from them. I believe your relationship with this person could have progressed pretty fast. For some of you, you could have kissed or even had sex after the first date. While I also see that this is a friends with benefits situation (does someone have a contract?!). You could find them mysterious or wish to get to know them on a more interpersonal level. You could feel that these things are more surface level in terms of attraction and don’t want the intimacy to only be superficial. I see that this sp is charming and prefers to disclose things little by little. “I come alive. You start me up a million times. And I'm terrified. That you could leave me crying.” So this person could be afraid of opening up to you because they are nervous about getting their heart broken. They might have previously gotten out of a relationship and they are learning how to trust in a partner again. Your sp could be afraid of rejection and that's why they are disorganized in terms of how they want to pursue you. Providing this person with assurance will help them gain courage, also pile 9, make sure to do what's healthy for you, try not to overly devote your time to this person. I see that communicating with your partner and talking about how you have been feeling will want to open up more and trust you. Something about wearing lingerie in the bedroom is a major turn on for this person. Taking control and guiding this person will help allow them to let their guard down. "Cause girl, you're perfect (girl, you're perfect). You're always worth it (always worth it). And you deserve it (and you deserve it). The way you work it (the way you work it). 'Cause girl, you earned it, yeah (earned it). Girl, you earned it, yeah". Your sp would be over the moon for you.

Full reading on patreon

[theocddiaries]

Alfred: I don't understand. What are we watching? Bruce [Pointing at a camera footage on the TV]: Okay, look. I fell yesterday at the market. Dick and I have been having a little disagreement as to what happened. Just watch. I stop to fix my shoe, and then Dick… Right there. He makes way for this very attractive woman, whom he conveniently leaves out of his retelling of the story. Now, right here, Dick backs up, pushes his butt into the cart, pushes me into the cans. Do you see that? It's all his fault! Just like I said! I was right! Suck it! Cass: When did you get this? Jason: Oh, my God. That's why you wanted to come separately. Steph: You went to all that trouble just to prove you were right? Bruce: It really wasn't that much trouble. I went to the store, found your friend Jordan, the bag boy, who got me the manager. He gave me the address of the off-site security office. I filled out some paperwork. Sally faxed it to corporate. Three minutes later, I'm buying a pack of DVDs and burning a copy. Piece of cake. Tim: …It's like a sickness. Bruce: What? None of you believed me, so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now. Kate: Please stop with the "sucking it," Bruce. They're children. Clark: Yes, children are very impressionable. You'll never know what they'll pick up. Lois: Ugh! Okay, Clark, I'm sorry that I blamed it all on you, okay? But we both need to look at our actions. I mean, if we're thinking about adopting another baby, then we need to-- Diana: You're adopting another kid? Clark: That's not the way you make an announcement! Banners! Banners! [Puts on music] 🎶Ah, let's give the boy a hand 🎶 Jason: What the hell's happening here? Dick: Is that from Footloose??? Clark [Turns off the music]: Really, Lois? You couldn't even share telling our friends. Kate: Why are you upset? This is such good news. Lois: No, we're a little on edge because Conner has been acting out, like he doesn't want a sibling-- Clark: Yeah, because Lois taught him to hate sharing. Lois: And, or, because Clark wears him like a fanny pack. Alfred: Oh, stop blaming each other. No kid wants a sibling. I remember Bruce hated his cousin so much, he stuck her in a dryer when she was two. Kate: You put me in the dryer? Bruce: …I did. But it wasn't 'cause I hated you. My friend Thomas said that it wouldn't run with a kid inside it, and I knew it would. I was right. Dick: Good governor. It's been going on since you were five? Bruce: …Oh, my God, it is a sickness. What would make me have that need at such a young age? Kate: How long was I in that dryer? Because- I-Is this why I'm afraid of tumbling? I had to quit gymnastics! Dick: A childhood without tumbling?! [Faces Alfred]. You knew this, and just stood by and did nothing? Alfred: Okay, okay. What's done is done. All you can do is learn from your mistakes. And in that spirit, I would like to propose a toast to our young master Damian. This week, he did something he wasn't supposed to do, like we all do-- Diana [Interrupting]: Like we all do!. Cheers, my young warrior! Alfred: No. Not yet. Master Damian stood up like a man. He admitted he was wrong, and he took his licks. And I'm very, very proud of him. Diana: Aaaand now we clink. Alfred: No, we clink when I say we clink. So Master Damian made a mistake, but he didn't take the easy way out. He's got guts. He's got integrity. And as far as I'm concerned, he's the best-- Damian: Okay, stop, stop! I didn't do any of that! Miss Diana broke into the locker and threw the necklace inside, and then we ran away like cowards! I'm sorry, Alfred! I'm sorry! Alfred: Aha! I knew it. I was right! I was right! Everyone: … … [In realization]: Ohhhh. Makes sense. Alfred: … [Drinks in silence].

[mtfstuff]

The desired role

I never thought my life could change this drastically. Let me tell you that I once was a strong and fair cop but I lost all of that quickly without fully realizing what I did. It all started a few months ago on this fateful afternoon.

On that day I was on my patrol, driving around in my police cruiser looking for potential trouble as usual.

I had gotten a call from a young woman that it seems like a young man is selling himself for sex to other men in a more remote area of the town. I was driving around there to see if I could spit him and I could after a fee minutes of searching. I carefully parked the cruiser and tried to sneak up on them. They were in the back of an alley. I could see the young man wearing skin tight latex from neck to toes. He was getting fucked by an older man with a beer gut while another man demanded the young man to suck his dick. I came closer but one of the older man noticed me and started to run. I quickly started to run towards them, shouting at them to stand still. The second man pushed the young man towards me and started to run away too.

I catched the young man and could only watch as the two old men ran through a backdoor and closed it. I handcuffed the young man and then walked up to the backdoor, trying to pry it open but to no avail. The thick metal door didnt move a bit. I got back to the young man and looked at him thoroughly. His body from neck to toes was covered in latex, even his hands. The only places free of latex was his crotch area and a hole around his butt. His dick was locked away in a chastity cage. He seemed intimidated by me as he didnt even reach my shoulders.

"Are you even old enough to sell yourself in this 'business'?", I asked him starting to walk him towards the cruiser.

"Is this regarding my size? Yeah I know I look young with my 5' but I can assure you that I'm 26 years old.", he answered cowardly.

"Do you have any ID to back up that claim?"

"No. I lost everything around 4 months ago."

I pushed him into the backseat.

I got into the car on the drivers seat.

"Whats your name?", I asked opening the criminal justice information system.

"Jordan Blight.", he said. I could hear him starting to sob.

I entered his name into the computer and found multiple things about him. It started with him disappearing, followed by multiple offensive crimes.

I exhaled deeply. By the looks of it this guy would now go to prison even though I knew that from the way he looked he wouldnt survive a week there.

Jordan must've had a similar thought as he started crying.

"Please... I'll do anything. I just cant go to prison. Please!", he cried.

"Sorry man, but I cant help you.", I answered looking at him through the rearview mirror.

"Please...", he continued crying. "I'll do anything... do you need sexual relief? I'm supposedly good at it. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."

I stayed silent. I felt somewhat pitty for him and his situation.

"Do you need someone to get drugs? I know some who have them.", he continued.

I looked at him concerned.

"Or do you want me as an insider? Or should I be your slave?"

I subconsciously moved an eyebrow and unfortunatly Jordan noticed it.

"What was it? The insider or the slave?", he asked with a grin.

I cleared my throat.

"How did you get in your situation? I mean I wouldnt choose to walk around in a latex suit covering everything but my head, dick and ass.", I asked.

"Changing the subject, I see.", he snickered. "I was drugged by some I considered friends. They stripped me, put me in this latex suit and cock cage. They also made sure that I dont get out by welding the zipper fully into the suit. They then brought me here, into a city I dont know to make me a sex slave. And they succeeded. I got addicted to sex and drugs over the last few months. It feels like I know more about the taste of dicks and cum than real food. It feels like I dont even remember how it feels to wear something else than latex."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I - I dont even know what to say.", I said.

"Say if it was the slave or the insider.", he laughed.

"Neither. Just a weird thought I sometimes have."

"Tell me about it."

I felt torn. He had the right appearance for my weird wish but he was just a stranger, even more a stranger I've just arrested. But I still had this feeling that I could tell him.

"Since I was in pre-school I was the tallest guy and even without working out I was pretty muscular.", I said. "And I dont know why as my family isnt tall at all. Since then I started to get this wish, to feel small. Even get somewhat humiliated."

It was a weird silence.

"I didnt see that coming.", Jordan said. "You, this hunk of a good looking man, wants to be humiliated. You want to be in my position?"

"Yeah, I do.", I said. "I just want to know how it feels."

"Well, I'd do anything to not go to prison but I dont know how much I could humiliate you."

He chuckled.

"I mean I'm 5' and you're like 6'3.", he added.

"6'5 to be precise.", I said. "I could have something that would change this situation. Only if you're down for it."

"I'd be doing it if it means that I wont go to prison, so yeah. Tell me, what is it you have."

I moved around in my seat, fearing his reaction to what I would tell him.

"I have a body swap item with me.", I told him.

He bursted out into laughs. It was almost contagious. Almost.

He slowly caught himself again.

"You cant be serious!", he looked at me. "Oh shit, you're serious."

"I dont know if it works but it could be your way out of prison if you do it with me for a short time. Its said to be reversible so we'd swap back after that session of ours.", I said.

He thought about it for a moment.

"Sure, why not. I always wondered how it felt to have a body as incredible as yours."

"Then its a deal.", I started the engine and drove us to an even more remote area of the city.

When we arrived I turned off the cruiser and got out. I opened the trunk of the cruiser and took a strange needle out of it. I closed it and opened Jordan's door. I pulled him out and pushed him into an abandoned alleyway.

I unlocked his handcuffs and he rubbed his wrists.

"So how does this work?", Jordan asked.

"We have to prick a finger each with this.", I held the needle in front of him. "Then the pricked tips have to touch and then we swap or transform into each other. That wasnt fully clear."

"Then lets do it.", he answered.

I took one of his fingers and pricked the tip. He let out a slight gasp. Then I pricked my finger and held it up. He pressed his finger against mine and I immediately felt a weird sensation, as if a force was pulling my whole body from my finger.

Jordan musst have felt it himself as he pulled his hand away. I looked at him and noticed that he started to grow, not just in height but also in terms of muscles. His latex suit got pulled thinner and thinner before it finally ripped in multiple places. The scraps of latex fell to the ground, revealing Jordans new muscular body that was still growing. I could immediately see that his muscles looked like mine. Jordan marveled at his new body, already smelling his armpits or feeling his abs. I looked down at his dick to see if it was growing too and it did. It was already straining against the cage before the cage sprung open and fell to the ground. Jordan's dick was the spitting image of mine and it was rock hard.

Jordan was almost the same height as me now and only his face looked different. A beard stubble was starting to grow on his cheeks as his bone structure started to morph into mine. His hair grew shorter and his eye color changed. It took only a few seconds and it was as if I was looking into a mirror. A naked mirror.

"This is incredible!", Jordan said feeling his biceps. "We could be twins right now! But shouldnt you look like me?"

"Yeah, I thought I would transform too but until now I only have this strange feeling.", right then the feeling changed and I started to shrink. While shrinking my uniform felt heavier and the gun holster looser every second and suddenly my pants, including my boxers, fell to the ground. My jacket and vest were huge on me, my hands didnt even stick out of the sleeve anymore and my dick was hidden behind the vest but I could feel how hard it was. It was almost painful.

I looked at Jordan and he had a huge grin on his face.

"Your manly face on my body wearing a uniform thats to big for you is just a funny sight to behold.", he said not letting go of his new muscles.

I started to feel my face change. The receding beard as well as the quickly growing hair tickled. With a faint plop I could hear my bones change and then the feeling vanished.

"Looks like I'm the officer now.", Jordan said.

He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me up. I could feel my socks and boots slip off my feet before I felt the cold ground beneath my butt. Jordan had dropped me.

"Man this strength is crazy!", he exclaimed.

I coughed a few times, trying to get my throat to feel normal again.

Jordan grabbed my arms and quickly pulled the rest of the uniform off of my body. I was now sitting on the cold floor completely naked.

Jordan dropped the vest, jacket and undershirt. I could hear him breathing heavily.

"I havent worn real clothes for months.", I could hear him say to himself.

He picked up my boxers from my pants and looked at them in his hands. He quickly smelled them and let out a quiet moan before carefully slipping his legs through them. He pulled them up to his hips and took his time to position his new big dick in a comfortable place.

It looked like Jordan quickly forgot about me because of the uniform.

He continued by pulling my socks out of my boots before pulling them over his feet and muscular calves. He wiggled his toes and giggled.

He grabbed the undershirt and pulled it over his broad chest. I marveled at how great it fit him. I now saw that I truly knew how to show off my body.

He removed the gun holster from the belt before stepping into the pants. He closed the belt and added the holster back.

He grabbed the jacket and quickly put it on before adding the vest onto his torso.

The last thing left were the boots. He seemed to almost celebrate this. He grabbed them and slowly unlaced them. He relished stepping into them, I could see it. He tied them again and took a few steps.

"This feels so good. Wearing real clothes, a uniform even. And then wearing shoes again. No more barefoot in latex.", he said.

Standing before me really was the spitting image of me, officer Stephen Benson. An officer with a bright future, thinking about how he could do anything as me now made my dick even harder.

"What are you going to do with me, officer?", I asked trying to get his attention.

He helped me up before pushing me face first against the wall.

"You can be more than lucky I got my uniform back. Impersonating an officer is a serious crime!", he said.

I felt him rubbing his crotch against my back.

"That was all just a big misunderstanding sir!", I answered.

I suddenly felt how he put the handcuffs around my wrists on my back.

"Misunderstanding or not, you're going to jail.", he said.

I got nervous, was he just roleplaying or taking over my life. I wanted to be submissive but I didnt want to go to jail. The thought of him taking over made me even harder. My dick was pressing so hard against the dirty brick wall.

"You're lucky as I'm in need of sexual relief.", he turned me around to face him. "And you may not go to jail if you go down and do a thing for me."

Jordan had a devilish grin on my old face. I went down and he immediately pushed my face into my old crotch. I could smell the fabric as well as the stench of my old sweat. But most of all I could feel the outline of the beast inside the pants that was once mine.

He continued pressing my face into his crotch.

"Worship me. Worship my muscles and uniform!", he said.

I couldnt answer because my face was pushed so hard against his crotch but I managed to move my hands behind my back to get his attention there.

He bent himself over me to unlock one side of the handcuffs again.

I immediately moved my hands to his firm butt and squeezed it. My hands slowly ran down his legs, feeling the muscles beneath the fabric every time he flexed his legs. I knew that it should be wrong, worshipping your real body but it just felt so good.

My hands went down further, now slightly massaging his calves before I ran my hands over my combat boots he now wore. Touching the leather felt surprisingly good so I kept working on his feet. That combined with inhaling the musk of my old crotch and uniform felt intoxicating.

"Take it out and suck it!", I heard Jordan order with my old deep voice.

It sent chills down my spine knowing that I sounded like that before but now I wasnt in control of it or any other part of that body.

I opened the belt and pants and pulled out his dick. It was more than massive from my point of view and it was already throbbing and leaking pre-cum.

I opened my mouth and Jordan saw that as his opportunity to push the full 8 inches down my throat. I thought that I would have to throw up but this body had like no gag reflex anymore. I continued sucking on my old dick while Jordan controlled my speed by having his hands behind my head.

It felt weird and at first I didnt knew what to do but it only took a few seconds before the muscle memory kicked in and I started sucking like a pro. I could feel the veins pulsate in sync with Jordan's heartbeat. I used my tongue to play with it and I heard Jordan moan every now and then.

He suddenly grabbed my head more tightly before I felt his dick erupting in my mouth. I immediately started to swallow and tasted cum for the first time. The salty but still somewhat sweet taste was weird at first but it felt more normal with every string Jordan shot into my mouth.

"Dont spill.", he said panting.

I swallowed everything before he pulled me to my feet again. He turned me around again and I could immediately feel him running his dick along my ass. He pushed it in without warning but it didnt hurt at all.

"Damn, my hole was loose.", Jordan said. "I have more to give to you."

He pounded me hard but it still turned me on more. Knowing that the roles would be reversed in reality. I should be the muscular officer and Jordan should be this twink but right now I was living my phantasy.

His thrusts changed pace and I could feel how he prepared to unleash another load into me. He pushed me tight against the wall, his hands on my hips as I felt him shooting his warm and slimy masculine seed up my ass.

He pulled out and I felt him wiping off his dick on my butt cheeks.

I was covered in sweat but it felt great to have been used like this and I bet Jordan loved being a muscular officer too.

I was awaiting that he would unlock the handcuffs again so that we could swap back but he suddenly grabbed me with full force by my neck and threw me to the ground.

"You let something drip out of your ass!", he said firmly pointing at his feet. "Go on and clean my awesome combat boots."

I got on my knees and licked the cum off of my old boot. It tasted just like before, only that it had now dirt mixed into it. I was almost done licking as I felt a few finger intrude my butt. Jordan pulled them out again and tasted it.

"Damn man, this body tastes good.", he said.

Suddenly we both looked intensely at each other knowing exactly what caused it. It felt like a damn broke in our minds. My mind got flooded with the memories of Jordan and he probably got access to my memories.

"This- this changes everything!", he said.

He pulled me up.

I cleared my throat to sound manlier.

"Are you ready to change back? There are spare clothes in the trunk of the cruiser you can wear after that.", I said.

"No man.", he said.

"What do you mean, no?"

He pushed me against the wall again.

"You wanted to be me. You wanted to be humiliated and I agreed to escape prison.", he flashed me a quick smile. "But I'm the man now. I have the muscles. I wear the uniform. We'll do this my way now."

"But- but you cant just be a cop and do my job. I cant stay like this."

"You enjoyed being like this."

He gestured to my small, hard and slightly leaking dick.

"And I more than enjoyed being you.", he continued. "You have two options now, 'Jordan'. Keep complaining about swapping back and I'll send you to prison. Or get into the car and be me."

I stared at him in shock.

"It's Thursday, right?", he asked.

"Yes."

"Then lets make a deal. We stay like this till Sunday. If you then still want to swap back we'll do it. If you want us to stay like this we'll stay."

"Deal!"

He grabbed my balls tightly and I let out a loud, uncontrolled moan. He laughed.

"Good. I still have to be on my patrol for 2 more hours. So I'll leave you here. You wanted to be humiliated so you have to make a choice. Stay here until I come back to get you or look around searching for clothes. But if you do, time is running. I wont wait here for you when I'm finshed.", he said.

He laughed again and walked to the cruiser. He stepped into the driver seat, started the engine and left.

Only then I noticed that Jordan managed to place his old chastity cage on my dick.

I didnt fully understand how it got this far but I felt good. The humiliation was everything I always wanted but I still felt the urge to get my body back. I was excited to see what the last few days would bring.

[ornii]

helloo

Could i request Cate Dunlap from the Gen V show x Male reader pls??

Finally finished Gen V so I can finally do this request and idk why but I think Cate could play a young Jean Grey really well if they decided to reboot the X-Men which in turn gave me an idea for this. (Also Jordan is my favorite character, please protect them.)

Stargazing

Cate Dunlap X Male Reader

It was the criminal investigation Class that set you on the path of Heroism, real heroism.

You were forced to wear a pair of high Destiny deep red glasses that thankfully halted your superpower; concussive beams can emit strongly though your eyes, thankfully you can somewhat control the intensity. From the strength of a slap in the face to a Freight train hitting your opponent at Lightspeed, you had more control than most, making you a potential shoe for the Seven, and into the Top 10.

Vought had their eyes on you and Luke, both of you were constant neck and neck in the eyes of The Uni and Vought. But it wasn’t much of a competition for you two, moreso of a friendly rivalry.. but you two did butt heads when it came to one person, Cate.

Cate had this personality that was abrasive at times but, so genuine and caring too. Made a tough combo for any guy luck or unlucky depending on how she was feeling. And man, she was gorgeous to boot, getting with the top kids you had to be around Luke, Andre, Cate and Jordan, the Big 5 as some would say.. but it’s just Big You.

It was dark, around 1 Am and on the rooftop of Godolkin. Cate, Andre and Luke were enjoying the company and cheap drugs. You, not so much. Keeping a clear head makes it easy for you to keep from taking your glasses off on accident. You sat in the edge of the building, Cate and Lucas on a large rectangular Box and Andre on an AC unit, Cate tilts her head at you.

“(Y/n), are you eyes red under those rose glasses?” She asked smugly, you looked over to her. “Fuck if I know.. dad has the same thing. Never got to see his.” You said, probably making it a bit awkward, and Andre turned to you, a hint of pain in his eyes.

“To Dads, right?” He said, offering a bag of mushrooms, you awkwardly laughed. “Nah I’m.. cool.” You replied. “Don’t think you can handle it?” Luke asked with a slight hint of teasing.

“Cmon, I mean I can make you… but we’re all about consent.” Cate walked over and sat next to you, the hint of vanilla on her perfume, Luke’s smirk slowly faded as cate leaned into your face. Her eyes getting scarily close to your glasses. “Man they’re like, Mars.” She whispered, “So you can only shoot lasers at people? I bet you can do so much more..” Cate leaned back to a normal sitting posture.

“Never considered doing more, just enough..” you replied, Andre nodded. “I get that, I can move metal around but.. can’t really think of much else.” Andre said, Luke nods.

“I can see myself on fire and fly, that’s about it.. I mean there’s a lot of fire and flying supes.” Luke explained, “But yours is.. super unique, we got heat and laser vision but. Concussive like super pressure.” He smiled, “You can go a long way.”

You smiled at that, you and Luke did have a lot of love and respect, even if you two were pitted against each other. You turned to Cate to thank her but saw she looked, drowsy.

“Cate? You okay?” She opened her mouth to speak but even you could see her Sclera was, red.. and her body flipped back, limp. You, Luke and Andre watched her body fly over the ledge, before any of you could mutter a word you leaped back as well.

“What—“

“Fuck!—“ you head Andre and Luke behind you as you plummet after her. They rushed over the ledge as you were able to grab Cate in your arm, you looked at the ground and thought, “Pressure.” You tore of your glasses and screamed, your red eyes flared a deep purple beam of energy, the concussive wave hits the ground with the force of a Racecar crashing into a wall at 100 miles, the sudden shift in force made your neck tense up, but you kept going, the beam slowed your decent with Cate until you could safely land, you hit the ground with both feet firm on the ground. You quickly closed your eyes as you held her.

“Cate? Cate?” You asked her, afraid of what’s going on, you heard the groggy grumbling and sighed with relief, she’s alive, Cate opened her eyes to yours closed. In a crater in the ground ironically. She looked around and back up to the roof, she pieced together what happened, an awkward smiled went along her face as she caressed your cheek.

“Knew you could do more..” she whispered, and you let her back on her feet. She looked up to Luke and Andre and gave a thumbs up, she’s fine. The sat back with relief and anxiety. You and Cate stood in the crater and looked up. “You had me worried there..” you admitted, Cate nodded. “Not my.. best moment… sorry about that. Stars are out tonight at least.” Cate looks around and finds your glasses thankfully you stopped your eye beams before you dropped them. You looked up to face the sky.

“It would be nice to see them, but they’d be rose tinted.” You said, and Cate stared at you and handed you back your glasses.

“Yeah.. but I’m looking at a real bright one right now..”

[cdragons]

Hey! I miss interacting with u, hope you are doing well :)

What is the song that will most describe farleighs and y/ns friendship?

Hey! This is really sweet, anon! THank you! I'm doing great, I have a ton of exams and projects with school that are kind of kicking my butt rn, but today's my birthday so I am excited to share that with my family!

This is a really tough one, mostly because I never expected this friendship to be so popular with everyone. Although I shouldn't be surprised because Farleigh Start was actually so superior in the movie.

Personally, I think these songs really fit them

Gimme More by Brittany Spears

Bad Girls by M.I.A

That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony (also works for Annabel and Y/N)

So What by P!nk

Is You or Is You Ain't My Baby by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five (look up Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with this song and TELL me that this won't be the most amazing duet with the pair)

Let me know in the comments of your opnions!

I feel like this is a good opportunity to give off some headcanons to describe the vibes I get from Fareligh and Y/n! There are also just my personal headcanons of Farleigh and his story in my AU! I made up these with the help of my internet soulmate @ethereal-athalia!

Here are some headcanons of my personal take of Farleigh's backstory in my AU and in general:

Is it weird if I can see Fareligh coming from New Orleans, Louisiana? Because I can absolutely see him giving off those vibes. He would fit PERFECTLY as a New Yorker, but I can't help but feel he would thrive in the Crescent City.

Farleigh really misses the States, and a big part of the reason he parties so much is to forget how homesick he is. I find it very odd that we are given this extremely intelligent character who would no doubt thrive in an Ivy League like Yale, Harvard, or Brown, but he's stuck in England. James definitely could have just paid for his education there, so why send him to England? Furthermore, why does James cover him up so much? Is it really just because he's family?

Remember when Felix told Oliver that Farleigh got kicked out of every school in England bc he "sucked the teachers off"? First off, ew. Secondly, sure, Farleigh is a bit of a hedonist, but all of his behavior just kind of screams to me that he's really and genuinely unhappy in England and wants to go back. That might be a reason why he was so reluctant for Felix to get close to Y/N since Chapter 1 of 'Fuck Everything.'

Furthermore, it really bothers me how nonchalant Felix is about telling Oliver that piece of information. Even if he knows that Farleigh wouldn't really care, that is still very private information about a young boy who was taken advantage of by teachers who were in a position that allowed them to abuse their power.

Also, for a film that exposes so much about its characters, we really don't know a lot about Farleigh Start and his story, specifically his family in the States.

The part where Farleigh's mom is terrible with money and constantly needs handouts from her brother, James, is very realistic - that part, I believe. But I feel like there is a lot missing with his dad.

Was his dad actually as brutish and abusive as Felix said to Oliver? Personally, I don't really see it. Even at first glance, the way Farleigh carries himself is leagues different from the rest of the Cattons. He's observant and takes in details. He uses all this information as a weapon for any opponent he goes up against.

In my opinion, I could absolutely see Farleigh's dad being a completely normal and decent person with a job as a librarian or English professor. This idea is mostly stemmed from when Fareligh made the 'thus' argument against Oliver's essay at the beginning of the movie, and this seems like something Farleigh knows as if being explained about it from a very early age.

The reason I think his father is ill-portrayed is because I feel like Farleigh's mother met him while she was in America and was intrigued by his unassuming self and married him. But then she got bored because she wasn't living the high and expensive life she was living in England with her family.

Eventually, she got bored and decided to use Farleigh as an excuse to get money from James. Farleigh's dad might have wanted custody of his son but was threatened by his ex-wife that he would never see his son again.

Farleigh is aware of his mother's toxic tendencies, but she's his mother and he loves her anyway. He know she's leeching off of him to get to her brother. But what are his other options? Let her fend for herself?

This is probably so far-fetched and a huge reach, but the Cattons are portrayed as people who love to feed off their own sense of entitlement over others by showing of 'generous' and 'charitable' they are to take of other people. When anything bad happens to them, they wear it like a trophy. Maybe that's what happened with Farleigh?

NOW! Onto Farleigh and Reader (also ft. Michael Gavey bc he's bb):

Being around Y/N is like being at home for the first time in forever (cue Frozen song) for Farleigh. When they start talking, Y/N is extremely skeptical of his intentions because she thinks that he's just trying to help out Felix. But nope! He just wants a genuine friend.

Y/N makes it clear to Farleigh from the beginning that if he wants to be friends with her, he needs to be friends with Michael. Michael Gavey and Y/N L/N are a package deal. You want one? You get the other.

Farleigh keeps his friendship with Reader a secret from Felix and is helped by Annabel (our girl got a taste of true kindness, sees Felix Catton for the leech he is, and is now part of the Y/N protection club)

With Y/N, he doesn't feel the need to party or drink until he gets alcohol poisoning to have a good time. He learns to have quiet nights doing homework or playing stupid board games with made-up rules.

Michael and Y/N introduce him to DnD, and he's the classic Bard player who rolls for charisma and ends up f*cking his party out of danger every time. Michael is a paladin, and Y/N is a monk, in case you were wondering.

Y/N sometimes uses Farleigh to model for some of her portraits. She learns to appreciate him because she and Michael do need to be reminded sometimes that it's okay to cut loose at times and that spreading their wings won't kill them.

Y/N and Farleigh definitely geek out over art history and literature (symbolism, plot holes, motifs, etc.) and are BIG soul and blues fans. When they all hang out in Y/N's dorm, they will be listening to James Brown, Ella Fitzgerald, and Ray Charles till dawn.

Y/N is someone whom Farleigh can have actual mind-stimulating conversations with in a manner that's respectful but also wildly entertaining. They will discuss everything from rousing debates about politics and current events to philosophical queries about the omegaverse and mpreg.

Michael pretended he wasn't a fan until they caught him singing along to 'Hit the Road Jack' and they never let him forget it.

Also, Farleigh is a MAJOR Michael Gavey x Y/N fan. He wants them to get together SO BADLY! But he won't do this in a productive/uncomplicated way. Nonononono, he plans to make the most convoluted, dramatic, and needlessly complicated schemes to get these two nerds together for his own amusement. *Nudge* *Nudge* *Wink* *Wink*

Real talk though, Fareligh genuinely loves Y/N and her presence as a friend. He has all these expectations placed on him and fake friends who only want to be around him for his cousins. To be around someone who not only misses home like him but also truly appreciates him as an individual and not as a commodity for networking means the world to him.

If Y/N ever does go to Saltburn for the summer (*foreshadowing*), Farleigh will do everything in his power to make sure she won't get sucked into his relatives' fake and shallow schemes.

Also, as a bonus, he loves ranting and trash-talking Oliver with Y/N and Michael. It's like free therapy with better snacks because Michael always brings candy.

These are all the ones I can think of for now, but let me more in the comments or in my ask box if you want more! It really means so much that you guys love this AU so much!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in the comments for future Saltburn AU stuff!

"Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You" Masterlist

Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @valeskafics, @asa-do-your-thing, @aphroditesmoon, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @aemondsbabe, @@winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindnow, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @@nyxthoughtss, @immyowndefender, @@ilovemydinoboi, @ahristata, @cxp1d, @jinsoulorbitzen12, @temptation-waits, @bollzinurmouth, @jcngw0ns, @seababehh, @destinydestnation, @lankyboi4, @mindless-rock, @cassavacake, @paradisepoison, @@pansexualpamandabear, @erikasurfer, @@lissamans, @cookielovesbook-akie, @thesmutconnoisseur, @izzyisstuff, @lariisouz, @mioshasworld, @themorriganisamonster, @bre99, @babypinkditto

[buckybarnesss]

Can we start a discussion? When it comes to Teen Wolf & Shipping. Do you know of any other age difference ships that don't get as much pushback that Sterek does? Such as Marrish, Because despite the antis complaining against it it's still in the top 3 ships of all time.

haha so we've chosen violence this morning.

@dear-massacre and i have brought this up before.

teen wolf is not the show to be watching if you're looking for "unproblematic" content. age gap ships have always been like at the bottom of issues with the show lol.

sterek is the ship that has always gotten the most push back. mostly because of it's exposure and the way the show queerbaited the fuck outta it. it's the one most people are aware of even if they haven't watched the show. therefore, it's the one that gets the focus.

hold on to your butts.

now i didn't watch s5 till the show had ended but people did find the age gap concerning and gross between jordan and lydia despite lydia being 18 at the time.

lydia turned 18 in season 4. natalie and her discuss this at the lake house i believe in time of death. this makes the birthday we see for lydia in party guessed her 17th birthday.

parrish tells jared in riddled that he's 24. by the time of 5a which takes place during the first semester of lydia's senior year 2012 she would've still been 18 and he would've been 25 because 3b was the first semester of their junior year 2011 so 5a is a year later.

jordan and lydia have a 7 year difference. while their age gap is concerning because of the power dynamics jordan wasn't grooming her and it wasn't illegal. i think the writing shifted to try to imply that they were drawn to each other because of the banshee and hellhound connection.

jordan giving those andy dwyer vibes.

now let's take a look at thiam. a pretty popular and accepted ship.

theo is the same age as our core characters. he is in their grade and knew them when he was young.

our baby beta liam was a freshman when he was introduced so that makes him a sophomore when theo is introduced in 5a.

by the time theo and liam become frenemies the age difference between them is basically the original age difference from the pilot presentation script as derek and stiles.

aiden and ethan were both romantically and sexually involved with lydia and danny in season 3 despite making it clear they were only pretending to be high schoolers. they may have been in their early 20s but they were adults fucking minors by deception.

danny's whole dating history is suspect too due to it being implied he had an older boyfriend and he was seen going to a gay club. like what. he's supposed to be the same age as our core gang. he did have a mild thing for matt though who was at least a peer.

there's also harris being shown to be at the rave with a much younger woman (21 he says). like bruh. this is never addressed.

mason and corey. liam and hayden. stiles and malia. lydia and jackson. allison and isaac. scott and allison. lydia and stiles. scott and kira. paige and derek.

those are all age appropriate actual canon relationships. i would also add derek and braeden too.

no one gives one episode wonder heather shit about kissing stiles nonconsensually either.

derek's age is never canonically given but like c'mon. in s1 he doesn't act that much older than scott and stiles. he acts like their peer.

jeff and the writers did age him up a bit because they realized they made derek 13 when he was involved with kate. they were uncomfortable with him that young and instead pushed it up to near 16. (still fucked).

i've seen it discussed on the subreddit (🤮) and people seem to deluded themselves into thinking derek was older when he and kate were involved. ding dong they are wrong.

visionary tells us plainly that derek and paige were sophomores (hello scott parallels) and kate got her nasty hands on him not long after paige died.

i think after sterek the most discussed age gap issue discussed is derek's seduction/enticement of erica. it was definitely out of pocket and questionable behavior on his part but it is rarely brought up by the antis that erica jumped him and kissed him nonconsensually later. or the manipulation and rape by deception jennifer commits.

notice a theme? people age up derek to try to say what kate did wasn't grooming and statutory rape and deny that what jennifer did was also rape. they'll deny derek any and all victimhood while turning it around on him calling him an abuser towards stiles and basically calling him a pedophile because of the sterek ship. antis really want to make a canonical victim of multiple instances of sexual abuse into the abuser.

or worse they'll call real life people these things over a fictional ship.

where have i heard this kind of narrative before i wonder? 🙄

besides, derek only does the steering wheel thing in retaliation for stiles using his body as enticement for danny without his permission. stiles is the one who did the bad thing and crossed a boundary. it's not nice or really acceptable for derek to harm stiles like that but there's context to the action. it wasn't random. it was pointed. he never does anything like this again and in fact spends a vast majority of his time trying to protect stiles.

nothing sexual or even overtly romantic occurred between derek and stiles in canon. their only crime was having too much chemistry.

the antis are mad because people ship sterek and it's not even canon. it's all fanon. sure i'm of the belief a deep connection and attraction is there between them but it's all subtextual and never acted on by either party.

let me reiterate this: antis are mad over a hypothetical ship of two fictional characters that never happened in the source material.

besides, by the time the show ends and i mean the last, last scene there's been a 2 year time jump. when the show ends it's 2015. stiles would've been 20 fucking years old and by the time of the movie he's in his 30s.

i think by then he'd be allowed to ride derek's dick off into the sunset if he wanted.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

David Anointed King of Judah

1 In the course of time, David inquired of the Lord. “Shall I go up to one of the towns of Judah?” he asked.

The Lord said, “Go up.”

David asked, “Where shall I go?”

“To Hebron,” the Lord answered.

2 So David went up there with his two wives, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 3 David also took the men who were with him, each with his family, and they settled in Hebron and its towns. 4 Then the men of Judah came to Hebron, and there they anointed David king over the tribe of Judah.

When David was told that it was the men from Jabesh Gilead who had buried Saul, 5 he sent messengers to them to say to them, “The Lord bless you for showing this kindness to Saul your master by burying him. 6 May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this. 7 Now then, be strong and brave, for Saul your master is dead, and the people of Judah have anointed me king over them.”

War Between the Houses of David and Saul

8 Meanwhile, Abner son of Ner, the commander of Saul’s army, had taken Ish-Bosheth son of Saul and brought him over to Mahanaim. 9 He made him king over Gilead, Ashuri and Jezreel, and also over Ephraim, Benjamin and all Israel.

10 Ish-Bosheth son of Saul was forty years old when he became king over Israel, and he reigned two years. The tribe of Judah, however, remained loyal to David. 11 The length of time David was king in Hebron over Judah was seven years and six months.

12 Abner son of Ner, together with the men of Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, left Mahanaim and went to Gibeon. 13 Joab son of Zeruiah and David’s men went out and met them at the pool of Gibeon. One group sat down on one side of the pool and one group on the other side.

14 Then Abner said to Joab, “Let’s have some of the young men get up and fight hand to hand in front of us.”

“All right, let them do it,” Joab said.

15 So they stood up and were counted off—twelve men for Benjamin and Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, and twelve for David. 16 Then each man grabbed his opponent by the head and thrust his dagger into his opponent’s side, and they fell down together. So that place in Gibeon was called Helkath Hazzurim.

17 The battle that day was very fierce, and Abner and the Israelites were defeated by David’s men.

18 The three sons of Zeruiah were there: Joab, Abishai and Asahel. Now Asahel was as fleet-footed as a wild gazelle. 19 He chased Abner, turning neither to the right nor to the left as he pursued him. 20 Abner looked behind him and asked, “Is that you, Asahel?”

“It is,” he answered.

21 Then Abner said to him, “Turn aside to the right or to the left; take on one of the young men and strip him of his weapons.” But Asahel would not stop chasing him.

22 Again Abner warned Asahel, “Stop chasing me! Why should I strike you down? How could I look your brother Joab in the face?”

23 But Asahel refused to give up the pursuit; so Abner thrust the butt of his spear into Asahel’s stomach, and the spear came out through his back. He fell there and died on the spot. And every man stopped when he came to the place where Asahel had fallen and died.

24 But Joab and Abishai pursued Abner, and as the sun was setting, they came to the hill of Ammah, near Giah on the way to the wasteland of Gibeon. 25 Then the men of Benjamin rallied behind Abner. They formed themselves into a group and took their stand on top of a hill.

26 Abner called out to Joab, “Must the sword devour forever? Don’t you realize that this will end in bitterness? How long before you order your men to stop pursuing their fellow Israelites?”

27 Joab answered, “As surely as God lives, if you had not spoken, the men would have continued pursuing them until morning.”

28 So Joab blew the trumpet, and all the troops came to a halt; they no longer pursued Israel, nor did they fight anymore.

29 All that night Abner and his men marched through the Arabah. They crossed the Jordan, continued through the morning hours and came to Mahanaim.

30 Then Joab stopped pursuing Abner and assembled the whole army. Besides Asahel, nineteen of David’s men were found missing. 31 But David’s men had killed three hundred and sixty Benjamites who were with Abner. 32 They took Asahel and buried him in his father’s tomb at Bethlehem. Then Joab and his men marched all night and arrived at Hebron by daybreak. — 2 Samuel 2 | New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide. Cross References: Genesis 32:2; Genesis 47:29; Joshua 10:12; Joshua 14:13; Joshua 22:9; Judges 21:8; 1 Samuel 16:13; 1 Samuel 19:17; 1 Samuel 25:42-43; 1 Samuel 27:3; 2 Samuel 5:5; 2 Samuel 8:16; 2 Samuel 3:1; 2 Samuel 3:30; 2 Samuel 4:7; 2 Samuel 18:16; 2 Samuel 22:34; 2 Kings 14:8; Nehemiah 2:18; 2 Timothy 1:16

Bible - Commentaries 2 Samuel 2

[lvdbbooks]

2023年9月15日

【新入荷・新本】

BUTT Magazine 33, BUTT, 2023

104 pages. 24 × 17 cm. Softcover.

価格：1,980円（税込）

/

This 33rd issue of BUTT is loaded with sex, lust and the desire to create new queer worlds:

SONNY KISS, professional wrestler is a bad girl in the ring By Michael Bullock and Torso

TOMO KOIZUMI, technicolor dressmaker in Tokyo loves homo zines By Leendert Sonnevelt and Kotori Kawashima

UNZIP, obsessive denim fantasies By Benjamin Fredrickson

GRACE SANDS, deejay sensation spins fag house bangers By Jordan Tannahill and Wolfgang Tillmans

HARIT SRIKHAO, Thai photographer fantasizes of democracy By Jop van Bennekom and Harit Srikhao

MEXICAN JIHAD, fuck function host and cultural synthesizer in CDMX By Zak Stone and Rodrigo Álvarez

ANDY BARAGHANI, celebrity chef knows how to eat ass By Evan Moffitt and James Emmerman

LOVE YOU, holes drawn in blue By Pol Anglada

PAUL B. PRECIADO, punk philosopher talks body politics By Juliana Huxtable

YOUNG BOY DANCING GROUP, art world performers stick it in By Melanie Bonajo

JWAN YOSEF, painter daddy seeks intimacy in his studio By Phillip Picardi and Matthias Vriens

JUST A HOLE, SIR, a glorious reader submission goes deep By Emil Cañita and Zac Bayly

[nerdytextileartist]

Musing about the now-cancelled "Stargirl" CW series and how we never got to see the rest of the Seven Soldiers of Victory after Sir Justin in season 1, especially Roy Harper.

So my casting pick for the "Stargirl" version of Roy "Speedy" Harper would be Dylan Saunders.

Yes, Albus Dumbledore/Tom Houston/Ja'afar/Tootsie Noodles Mega-Girl of Team Starkid productions.

Yes, I know he was already in a DC Comics TV show as Teddy the Were-butt in "Doom Patrol". As if reusing actors was a deal breaker for DC TV projects.

My reasoning is the Roy Harper we rarely got to see in adaptations is the father/mentor figure that is beloved among us fans. Taking a cue from the "Young Justice" cartoon, I can see Roy taking in Artemis Crock right after she kills Jordan Mahkent, similar to how he took in Grant Emerson in the 90s run of Teen Titans. Dylan Saunders has played fathers in his career (see "Twisted" and "Black Friday") and I feel that he would be a good fit for this version of Roy.

[chicoespecial2022]

Jordan Young, No.11 Yeovil Town FC, showing off his awesome hot footballer’s bum 🔥🔥🔥

[blogger360ncislarules]

If you’ve been missing Pastor Jeff, then consider your prayers answered.

TVLine can exclusively reveal that Young Sheldon vet Matt Hobby will reprise his role in a February episode of the CBS spinoff Georgie & Mandy’s First Marriage — an episode that also brings back Zoe Perry as Georgie’s mother (and the church’s most devoted congregant), Mary Cooper. A first-look photo can be seen below:

In the episode, titled “A House Divided,” Mary and Audrey (played by Rachel Bay Jones) “compete for their granddaughter’s love,” according to series co-creator Steve Holland. Eventually, Jeff attempts to play mediator between CeeCee’s well-meaning grandmothers. “I don’t know that he’s doing great, but he’s certainly trying to [mediate].

“Mary and Audrey butt heads, they don’t see eye to eye, and that’s a fun thing we haven’t gotten to explore,” Holland tells TVLine. “To put them head to head… felt like a really fun episode to do — and when we were breaking that story, it also seemed like a great chance to bring Matt Hobby back. It was so much fun to have him, and so much fun to put [those characters] in front of an audience and get a little Pastor Jeff sprinkled in our lives again.”

In addition to Georgie & Mandy series regulars Montana Jordan (Georgie), Emily Osment (Mandy), Will Sasso (Jim) and Jones (Audrey), Perry (Mary), Reagan Revord (Missy), Craig T. Nelson (Dale) and Annie Potts (Meemaw) have all reprised their Young Sheldon roles in one or more episodes. Two more episodes air this year — on Dec. 5 and 12 — before Season 1 of the hit sitcom resumes on Thursday, Jan. 30 (CBS, 8/7c).

[ulkaralakbarova]

When her mother falls for a wealthy man, Lina Cruz must move in with her new stepfather and transfer from an urban East Los Angeles public high school to an exclusive prep school in Malibu, where she struggles to fit in with her affluent new peers. After snooty cheerleading captain Avery blocks Lina from varsity, Lina recruits her best friends from her old school to help her whip the pathetic junior varsity cheerleading squad — the Sea Lions — into fighting shape. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Lina: Christina Milian Evan: Cody Longo Avery: Rachele Brooke Smith Sky: Holland Roden Isabel: Laura Cerón Henry: David Starzyk Christina: Nikki SooHoo Treyvonetta: Gabrielle Dennis Kayla: Meagan Holder Gloria: Vanessa Born East LA Girl #2: Janelle Martinez East LA Girl #1: Jessica Martinez Victor: Brandon Gonzales Cholo: Christopher Martinez Whitney: Brittany Sarkisian Hot Guy: Carlos Diaz Shoe-vite Girl: Julia Lehman Rich Girl: Megan Hubbell Eavesdropper #1 / Sea Lion: Alexander McCarthy Eavesdropper #2 / Sea Lion: Kyle McCarthy Announcer: Lisa Arturo Self: Джулиана Ранчич All Star Jaguars Dancer: Eric Butts All Star Jaguars Dancer: Greg Farkas All Star Jaguars Dancer / Dancer: Janelle Ginestra All Star Jaguars Dancer / Dancer: Lauren Gottlieb All Star Jaguars Dancer: Danielle E. Hawkins All Star Jaguars Dancer: Theresa June-Tao All Star Jaguars Dancer: Devin Jamieson All Star Jaguars Dancer: Jordan Johnson All Star Jaguars Dancer: Michael Lim All Star Jaguars Dancer: Bryan Marsh All Star Jaguars Dancer: Andrea McQueen All Star Jaguars Dancer: Brittany Anne Pirtle All Star Jaguars Dancer / Dancer: Liz Porter All Star Jaguars Dancer: Kristy Rios All Star Jaguars Dancer: Brian Schulze All Star Jaguars Dancer: Bailey Stump All Star Jaguars Dancer / Dancer: Devin Walker All Star Jaguars Dancer: Brad Weber All Star Jaguars Dancer: Tori Wirgler All Star Jaguars Dancer: John Witters All Star Jaguars Dancer: Elle Young All Star Jaguars Dancer: Chris Zuehlke East L.A. Squad Dancer: Daniel Altman East L.A. Squad Dancer: David Carmon East L.A. Squad Dancer: John Cronin East L.A. Squad Dancer: Neda Emamjomeh East L.A. Squad Dancer: David Ezell East L.A. Squad Dancer: Leon Henderson East L.A. Squad Dancer: Megan Honore East L.A. Squad Dancer: Dominique Kelley East L.A. Squad Dancer: Chanel Malvar East L.A. Squad Dancer: Carissa Martin East L.A. Squad Dancer: Candace Montez East L.A. Squad Dancer: Nicole Niestemski East L.A. Squad Dancer: Carina Olis East L.A. Squad Dancer: Sean Patrick Parnell East L.A. Squad Dancer: Daniel Pera East L.A. Squad Dancer: John Rames East L.A. Squad Dancer: Marquita Scott East L.A. Squad Dancer: Allysa Shorte East L.A. Squad Dancer: Monica Soto East L.A. Squad Dancer: Isaac Tualaulelei East L.A. Squad Dancer: Julianne Waters Sea Lion: Jeffrey Alarcon Sea Lion: Paulette Azizian Sea Lion: Shaylene Benson Sea Lion: Britton Bickel Sea Lion: Mike Burns Sea Lion: William Caldwell Sea Lion: Kassie Cook Sea Lion: Marty Dew Sea Lion: Aisha Jamila Francis Sea Lion: Rebekah Giles Sea Lion: Erin Yvonne Sea Lion: Jeremy Hudson Sea Lion / Dancer: Chris Moss Sea Lion / Dancer: Katrina Norman Sea Lion: Shannon Pape Sea Lion: Jonathan Rice Sea Lion / Dancer: Jenny Robinson Sea Lion: Gina Starbuck Sea Lion: Dollar Tan Sea Lion: Jordan Wentz Cholo Squad Dancer: Noel Bajandas Cholo Squad Dancer: Kenny Harlow Cholo Squad Dancer: Oren Michaeli Cholo Squad Dancer: Oscar Orosco Cholo Squad Dancer: Jonathan ‘Legacy’ Perez Cholo Squad Dancer: Michael Vargas Cholo Squad Dancer: Roman Vasquez Cholo Squad Dancer: Ivan ‘Flipz’ Velez Dancer: Ryan Adams Dancer: Brandon Henschel Film Crew: Editor: Richard Halsey Costume Designer: Ruth E. Carter Editor: Michael Jablow Hairstylist: Sheryl Blum Writer: Alyson Fouse Executive Producer: Armyan Bernstein Executive Producer: Charlie Lyons Original Music Composer: Andrew Gross Director: Bille Woodruff Writer: Elena Song Producer: Sean McNamara Makeup Artist: Martha Callender Supervising Sound Editor: Charles Maynes Stunt Coordinator: Julius LeFlore Assistant Editor: ...

[newcountryradio]

New Country 27e jaargang  #T1236 (S795) (C39)van 1 juli 2024  (wk 27) uitzending op Smelne fm & Crossroads Country Radio

Album van de week:  Lauren Watkins - The Heartbroken Record     

Classic album: Ricky Van Shelton – Loving Proof          1988

Hits of the Year : 1998

Maandfavoriet : Kaitlin Butts - Roadrunner

Maandartiest : Kenny Chesney    

3 in 1:  Eli Young Band   

Kenny Chesney – How Forever Feels  *maandartiest

Montgomery Gentry – If You  Ever  Stop Loving Me      #1  20 jaar.

Josh Turner - Down In Georgia

Ella Langley  Riley Green - you look like you love me

Corey Kent – Never Ready .

Post Malone & Blake Shelton -Pour Me A Drink

Lainey Wilson – Out Of Oklahoma

Dylan Scott - I Owe You One

Post Malone - I Had Some Help (feat. Morgan Wallen) #1.

Lauren Watkins - Settling Things (From Patsy Clines House).     Album vd week

Lauren Watkins - Fly On The Wall (feat. Jake Worthington).   Album vd week

Barbara Mandrell  - Crackers   Entertainer    1980

George Strait - I Just Want To dance with You   1998

Keith Whitley – Don’t Close Your Eyes. .

Merle Haggard – Cherokee Maiden     

Kaitlin Butts - Roadrunner. favoriet 

Rhett Walker - When Mercy Found Me   sofi

Ricky Van Shelton - I’ll  Leave This World Loving You    classic album

Ricky Van Shelton - From A Jack To A King    classic album

Kenny Chesney - Just To Say We Did

Surrender Hill   - Get Out Of Your Own Way -

Eli Young Band – Crazy Girl     (3 in 1) 

Eli Young Band – Even If It Breaks My Heart

Eli Young Band – Drunk Last Night .

Lauren Watkins - Sad Songs And You    Album vd week    

Morgan Wallen - Everything I Love #1 album.

Cody Jinks - Change the Game.

Jann Browne - -Personal_Life.

Bertolf – Before the Storm     

Doug Adkins  - Second Hand Heart.

Dave Dudley --- Six Days on the Road (trucksong)

Kenny Chesney – That’s why I’m Here   maandartiest

Trisha Yearwood / Ronnie Dunn - I’ll Carry You home    juweeltje

Dolly Parton - Southern Accents   vw

 Lauren Watkins –   Cowboys On Music Row    Album vd week

T. Graham Brown  Wynonna - Take Me to the River

Willie Nelson - Ride Ém Jewboy

Eric Devries - Shadow of a Man Dutch corner

Ben Steneker & Anna McRose. -Heart to Heart -

Terri Clark – You’re Easy On The Eyes      #5 1998

Faith Hill - This Kiss    #4

Dixie Chicks – Wide Open Spaces    #3

Tim McGraw – Where The Green Grass Grow     #2 1998

Tim McGraw – Just To see You Smile       #1 1998

Darin and Brooke Aldridge, - Jordan (feat. Ricky Skaggs, Mo Pitney,

Dit is de laatste voor de zomerstop/ vakantie New Country is terug op 4 augustus 2024

[rosethornewrites]

T & G reading since 2/2

Finished

Teen:

You've Been Hit By (A Smooth Criminal), by stiltonbasket

In which Wei Wuxian is under an enchantment, and Lan Wangji is a faerie trapped in the unwitting thrall of a vampire.

Fairness, by snowberryrose

In which Wen Qing gets drunk

Or: Wei WuXian is more observant than he’s credited

Divergence from episode 29

be honest with me now, by sassybluee (5th in a series)

Sometimes, even though they are married, Lan Wangji feels as though he doesn’t know Wei Ying at all.

Su She Eats his Heart Out, by KizuKatana (3 chapters, locked)

The (bitter) third party pov of the epic college romance between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, as told from the pettiest NPC to ever exist.

- - - - -

A new student transferred into the university in their second year, and Su She was gleeful to see how much Lan Zhan was irritated by him from the very first day that the student (Wei something) showed up late for class with a ratty hoodie pulled up over his head and proceeded to sleep through lecture. Finally, someone else would be the butt of everyone’s jokes as they watched Wei Ying constantly try and fail to get Lan Zhan’s attention. When midterm grades came out, Su She was expecting the guy to be humiliated.

That was… not what happened.

Worse still, Lan Zhan was now actually turning his head to look at the guy when he spoke. And... wait, was Lan Zhan… putting his hand on the guy’s ass?!

No. Su She does not accept this.

Est-il Impossible D'echapper, by Comfect (4th in a series)

Jiang Cheng finds someone else who's been touched by death, and finds out some important information.

Title from Shakespeare (when he was writing in French), as always.

Content warning for canonical threat to the life of a child (the child does not die in this fic and will not die in this series)

In Which Jiang Cheng Ruins Everything, by AshurbanipalJones (10th in a series)

Wen Qing felt like all her internal organs were about to explode. Was this what Qi deviation felt like?

“Fuck you,” she said, and stormed past him.

Behind her, she sensed rather than heard Hanguang Jun following. Then his voice, low and cool and even, “You, Jiang Wanyin, are a fucking moron.”

Ridiculousness, by snowberryrose

In which Nie HuaiSang concocts a story

You Were More Than Just A Short Time (and i´ve got a lot to live without), by razzleberryicedtea

After the battle at Bu Ye Tian Lan Wangji felt like he couldn´t breathe.

There was a heavy weight on his chest and his lungs constricted every time he gasped for air, feeling a sharp pain in his body that was entirely unrelated to the punishment of thirty-three lashes, which the elders had agreed upon.

(Wei Wuxian is dead but Lan Wangji is not. He has to keep going somehow, especially with being a father now.)

Saviour of the Universe, by sami (part of 2 series, 3 chapters)

"Good morning, James," Jordan greets the young man who brought her patient. "And good morning, Catp'n Flint. James, I hope your mothers are well?"

General:

chancellor of the morning sun, by stiltonbasket (11 chapters)

The disgraced Madam Lan gives birth to a daughter first, not a son.

The Lan sect has never had a woman for a sect leader after Lan Yi, and does not wish to have one again.

Lan Wangji refuses to claim his sister's birthright.

These three facts have shaped Lan Xichen's life, for as long as she can remember.

No Time For Leisure, by nirejseki

Protecting and taking care of Lan Qiren is serious business.

As far as his cousin, Lan Yueheng, is concerned, everyone should get a chance.

My Pet Rabbit Found His Husband at the Library, Or: How One Mischievous Rabbit Got Lan Zhan a Boyfriend, by katje

Lan Zhan had thought today would be like any other day working at the library. He had been working at this branch for nearly three years as the Youth Services Librarian, and he had his routine down to an art. From planning programs to culling books and replacing them with books more children would enjoy to holding animal therapy sessions with his Flemish Giant rabbit Tofu, he was as set in his routine as one could be working with the general public.

Little did he know, however, his peace would soon be disrupted by none other than Tofu himself, who was usually a model employee.

OR

Lan Zhan is just trying to do his job, but his pet rabbit has other ideas - namely, finding himself and his baba a husband.

The Trouble With Politics: a Treatise on Jiang Sect Deputies Gone Rogue by Sect Leader Wei Wuxian, by stiltonbasket (20 chapters)

Jin Zixuan dies. A siege is called at the Nightless City. A bodyguard flees from the Jinlintai, and journeys to the Burial Mounds to fulfill a life debt to the Ghost General.

Lan Wangji just wants to woo Wei Wuxian in peace, and figure out if Jiang-zongzhu's ex-deputy will ever stop trying to chaperone them.

(Or, the one where Yu Zhenhong stands by his da-shixiong, and becomes the head disciple of the rising Yiling Wei sect.)

Unfinished

Teen:

I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green

One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.

Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.

And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.

Instead, by apathyinreverie (locked)

Wei Ying is found by someone other than Wen Chao after the Core transfer.

Or, the one where Wei Ying is never thrown into the Burial Mounds, never invents demonic cultivation. He still manages to become the lynchpin of the Sunshot Campaign anyway.

Your Shelter, by cosmicmilktea

“There is no need for sorry,” Lan-gege had told him, what seemed like such a long time ago, “Robes can be cleaned.”

But a soiled robe in Lotus Pier means lashes on his back and a night of kneeling in the ancestral hall, even if Jiang Cheng and all the other disciples also came back with mud and reeds painting their robes. A soiled robe means hearing baba and mama's names spoken in malice and ridicule. It means a gentle chiding from shijie as she pats his head and offers him a bowl of warm soup, which only made him miss the warmth of Xian-gege's safe embrace.

His back hurts, and his knees ache from kneeling so long. Beneath his robes, Lan-gege's ribbon presses close to his heart, and it reminds him how he had felt so safe with the two men. How baba and mama had also made him feel safe even without the shelter of gilded walls and roofs. He longs to be that safe again, the longing building and building in the too-small confines of his chest until Wei Ying can not hold it in any longer.

He runs.

General:

Lies and Truth, by parodismal (locked)

What happen if Lan Wangji decided to actually check Qiongqi Path after Wei Wuxian leave?

....

It leads to a domino effect towards a new Chief Cultivator

Is it a better?

Or worse?

一寸光阴一寸金, 寸金难买寸光阴, by orphan_account (likely abandoned)

His eyes fluttered closed, his body went limp and the next thing he knew-

Pain flared on his cheek and his ass hit the ground.

He blinked, eyes dazed and mind numbed from shock. He cradled his bruised cheek, eyes taking in Wei Wuxian, furious and indignant and-

Young.

Wei Wuxian was young, he was wearing Gusu robes-

Everyone was young.

Jin Zixuan was young, he was alive-

He’s travelled back in time.

[Jin Zixuan Time Travel Fix-It]

the sea meets the moon-blanched land, by rkivees

“I'm sorry, Lan Zhan.”

“This is in no way Wei Ying's fault.” He shook his head, eyes focused on Wei Wuxian's face when he said it.

“I could've helped you earlier.”

“You were worried about the ones who could not protect themselves.” His voice was deep and sober, “Like the promise we made 10 years ago.”

or, wei wuxian leaves lotus pier right after their classes in cloud recesses and that's when he finds himself

[packernet]

New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2023/11/23/they-did-what/

They did what?!

The Green Bay Packers spoiled Thanksgiving for the Detroit Lions and their fans with a resounding 29-22 win in Detroit. It was sweet revenge for the butt-kicking the Lions put on the Packers in Lambeau in September and it put the Packers right back in the playoff hunt in the NFC. Holy cow.

The Packers set the tone from the beginning when they won the toss and elected to receive. I was shocked. I always want the ball first. Always! The reason I do is because you have a chance to go out and take the lead and that is exactly what the Packers did. A bomb to Christian Watson opened the game and the Packers were off and running. Quarterback Jordan Love was simply on fire from the start. Even when he screwed up it went for a touchdown to Jayden Reed.

The Packers led 23-6 at halftime and did just enough on offense to keep the Lions at bay in the second half. The got a TD when they absolutely had to when given a gift by Lions’ head coach Dan Campbell’s failed fake punt attempt. And they picked up big first downs late to run valuable time off the clock.

Defense gets the job done again

On defense Joe Barry’s unit forced two first quarter turnovers and kept constant pressure on Lions quarterback Jared Goff. Linebacker Rashon Gary had three sacks and two forced fumbles and showed why is getting the big bucks. It was especially sweet considering this was where his season ended last year with a knee injury.

The Lions gained 447 yards but the didn’t pull back within one score until there were 41 seconds left in the game. On the Lions last drive the Packers forced the Lions into short pass after short pass until they scored with 41 seconds left. Once the Packers recovered the onside kick it was game over.

The Packers now have ten days to prepare for the defending Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs and then have five very winnable games after that. This is a young team that doesn’t know what it doesn’t know. Hopefully that bodes well down the stretch.