#jonathon is not fine

[neim-batteries-not-included]

It’s asexual awareness week!!! I present the most aware asexual!!!

(Possible eyestrain and trypophobia, vague spoilers for tma under the cut)

That is not his cardigan. You can decide whose it is, but it’s. It’s not his.

(Click for better quality)

[harlequimade]

[warlenys]

every time davina mccall got injured my mum said “excellent!!”

[jup1tersparx]

jonathon sims is at blorbo level for me now i think

[stevesherdaddynowlover]

pet names and looped pinkies [s.h.] 18+

hiiiii so i've never written for steve but just did a stranger things rewatch and have felt...inspired. i hope you enjoy! pls feel free to send suggestions or concepts or anything :) thanks for reading!

masterlist

summary: steve is your best friend and you have a crush on him and that's fine until one day it's not and the next thing you know you can't think or speak or breathe around him. (steve harrington x fem!reader)

warnings: loooots of pet names, fluff, pining,cursing, kissing, m masturbation, dirty talk, handjob, spitting, tiny bit of cum eating :))) 18+ ONLY!! MDNI

wc: 6.4k

part 2 here!!!!

You and Steve had been friends for quite some time now. 

Going from quietly watching him throughout high school, maybe quietly crushing on him too, to fighting monsters and trying to survive could do that to people. Make them friends, that is. 

The crush you’d been harboring on Steve didn’t go away, oh no if anything it had gotten about ten times worse in the time you’d spent growing close. That Steve you knew in high school was long gone. The, for lack of a better word, asshat you had come to blush over had turned into a protector. A funny, endearing, unnervingly hot protector that made your tummy flutter and your palms sweat. 

It didn’t help that he seemed completely unaware of your feelings, or that the things he did made your heart race and your cheeks turn pink. Linking his pinky with yours while you strolled around town, letting his thumb mindlessly rub circles on the little sliver of your stomach that was visible during movie night, giving a little tug on your hair when you said something cheeky, letting his dimple pop out when you teased him. 

And the pet names. God, the pet names! Maybe he did know! Maybe he wanted to torture you and make you squirm. They slipped from those perfect pink lips so effortlessly it kind of pissed you off. 

“Hey honey, how was work today?” 

“Sweetheart we’re gonna be late for the movie and I will not be blamed when we don’t have time to grab your snacks.” 

“Any chance you wanna pick up an extra shift and spend some time with me? What do you say, pretty?” 

He had the hair, the smile, the charm. You imagined it would be hard for anyone not to fall madly in love with him. It was surely hard for you! Steve did a good job of turning you to mush. It was hard to think around him, even harder to not think about him. 

Which is why you’re really struggling now, smushed on a far too little couch with 3 other people, your thigh pressed so tightly against Steve’s it’s making your head spin. It’s movie night, a tradition you’ve picked up and held onto tightly amidst all the craziness that happens in your small town. Steve is on your left, stuck between the arm of the couch and you. Robin is on your right with Eddie next to her and Jonathon next to him. A couch meant for 2, maybe 3, but all 4 of you packed on while the rest of your friends lounge on the floor or a chair, eyes all focused on the screen. 

Almost everyone’s eyes are focused on the screen. 

You’re staring straight ahead, sure! But while a movie that you now can’t even remember the name of is droning on, all you can think of is how your hip is touching Steve’s. Or how his pinky has somehow found yours again and they’re looped together on his lap. Or even worse, how he’s got his head resting on your shoulder and you can feel little puffs of his breath hitting your neck everytime he laughs. 

It’s driving you crazy, your hand not in his twitching by your side and your chest rising and falling a little faster than it should be while watching a comedy with your friends. You’re so distracted it takes you a few minutes to realize that Steve is no longer watching the movie, but is now focused on you and how uncomfortable you seem to be. He gives a small tug to your pinky, drawing your eyes to meet his and you’re so overwhelmed with him right now you could cry at the furrow in his brow and the small pout he’s wearing looking at you. 

“Y’alright, baby?” You can see his genuine concern at the state of you but all you can focus on is trying not to let a small whimper through your lips as you hear him call you baby. Not being able to look at him for more than a few seconds you drag your eyes away from him, a small huff leaving you while you shake your head, mainly at yourself. “I, uh m’fine. I’m fine.” Neither of you are convinced, you know that, but you can’t find it in you to care at the moment when all you can think about is taking his bottom lip between your teeth. 

He studies you once more, eyes taking you in quickly as he reaches up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His hand lingers around your neck a second longer, two fingers giving you a little pinch before he’s drawing his hand back to his lap. You find yourself staring far too long at his hand, wondering what it would feel like if he swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. Or if it would be as good as you imagined to have him slip that same thumb past your lips, pressing down on your tongue, wearing that same smirk you’ve seen a thousand times.

Fuck fuck fuck. You’re so fucked. 

As soon as the thoughts come, they’re gone because the next thing you know you’re using his and Robin’s thighs as leverage to jump up from the couch, turning to face everyone with red cheeks and a forced smile. 

“So I, uh, I gotta go! Just remembered mom wanted me home early tonight, some, uh, some family thing going on. Yeah that’s it. Family thing!” Everyone is staring, eyes wide with confusion written all over their faces. You love movie night, never miss it let alone leave early. 

You don’t give anyone the chance to question you before you’re bouncing up the stairs trying to pull your shoes on as quickly as possible. You know he’ll be right behind you, asking you what’s wrong or offering a ride home. You both know you’re full of shit but you can’t find it in you to care right now, too focused on getting away from him before you do something crazy like kiss him. 

Steps away from the front door you think you’ve made it. Can almost feel the relief of the cool breeze cooling down your skin that seems to be burning up from where Steve was touching you. You're so close, less than a foot away when you realize you weren’t quick enough. 

A hand wraps around your forearm, a large calloused hand that you’d know anywhere. Shoulders slumped in defeat and you turn to face him, not all the way because you don’t think you could handle it, but enough to acknowledge his presence. “Harrington, I gotta go. You know how my mom is, this’ll be held over my head for weeks if I’m late.” Lies. All lies. Your mom fully expects you to sleep at Robins tonight. He’s quiet for what feels like hours but is really only seconds before he speaks, “Let me give you a ride then. You’ll be home in less than 5.”

Now you know that cannot happen. You cannot be in his car that smells like him. You cannot watch the way his hands grip the wheel, and you know you won’t be able to look away. You cannot be locked in a car with him where you know he’ll try and figure out why you’ve been acting so weird tonight. And honestly you just cannot be around him right now without feeling like you’re going to faint. 

“No, no, don't worry about it, it’s a quick walk and I could use the fresh air! I’m feeling a little…off right now anyways so I wouldn’t mind being alone. Go finish the movie! Love you, see you, have fun!” And before he can react or try to argue with you, reaching up on your tiptoes you plant a quick kiss to his cheek, lips tingling as you turn and run out the door, hoping to god or whoever is listening that Steve doesn’t come after you. 

What you don’t see as you’re running down the sidewalk is your best friend standing in the doorway with his hand hovering over his cheek where you just kissed him and a blush crawling up his neck as those quick seconds play on a loop in his head for the rest of the movie. 

 ****************************************

It’s been a few days since movie night. The night you’re refusing to think about but also the one you can’t seem to get out of your head. More specifically the sound of Steve calling you baby and the feel of his fingers brushing against your throat. 

Well you’ve tried not to think about it. 

You’re not sure why this is happening now. You’ve liked him for as long as you can remember so why all of a sudden do you feel like panting when your skin touches his? Why now are his little smirks and pet names enough to bring you to your knees? Over the years you’ve done good, so good, at keeping yourself together in front of him, letting his comments and flirting roll off your back. But now…now you can’t be in the same room without wanting to tug on his hair or leave marks on his chest or feel so desperate to taste him that it drives you insane. 

You don’t know what caused this switch to flip but it fucking sucks. It sucks because besides all of that, he’s still your best friend. Yeah, it’s ungodly how hot he is but he’s also still the guy who buys you your favorite ice cream when you’ve had a rough day, who goes to see scary movies with you when no one else will because you’re the only one that likes them. He’s saved you, cared for you, loved you for a few years now and honestly that just makes it worse! 

He’s mouthwatering AND a good guy. Fuck him for that. 

In the few days since you’ve seen him he’s called. 11 times? Maybe more. And you’ve been conveniently in the shower or asleep or anything else your mother can make up while you try and figure out what you’re going to say to him. The problem with this is that the longer you avoid him, the more awkward and hard this is going to be. 

So when you wake up today, 4 days after movie night, you decide it’s time to be a big girl and talk to him. Not about your feelings, god no! But it is time to at least try to be normal around him and to stop avoiding him. You already know he’s gonna look like a kicked puppy, big brown eyes staring down at you while you try and justify not talking to him for days. You’re fucked. So fucked. 

Walking downstairs you hear the phone ringing and your heart drops. Maybe you’re not ready for this. Maybe your family can just move! That should work. You’ll miss everyone but honestly this seems like your best option at this point. 

Your dad is gone for the day, your mom is standing at the counter with her purse on her shoulder like she’s about to walk out the door with her mouth open, ready to give Steve yet another excuse to why you can’t talk to him. But you’re brave. You’re a big girl who can handle a phone call with your best friend. Your hot best friend you're madly in love with and want to climb like a tree. 

Your hand is out and reaching for the phone before you can talk yourself out of it, a sigh of relief leaving your mother as she practically throws it at you, running for the door before you change your mind. It’s by your ear for a good few seconds before you hear him, his voice raspy and deep so you know he’s just woken up and it makes your whole body buzz. 

“Hello?” 

It’s now or never. Never sounds nice. “Hey! How ya been? How’s it going? How was the movie?” The questions pour out of you so quickly you’re not sure he can even understand what you’re saying but you hold your breath and wait anyway. 

“How’s it going? Are you kidding me? Fuckin’ Christ! You’ve taken about 12 showers in 4 days and couldn’t be bothered to talk to me, why don’t you tell me how it’s going.” So he was upset. Totally fair. 

“Don’t be mad at me, please.” It was the first thing that came out of your mouth and you knew it was stupid but you couldn’t help it. He deserved to be mad at you, to yell and cuss and whatever else he deemed fit. But now that you had heard his voice again for the first time in days, the thought of him being upset with you made you want to cry, even though you had done this! 

You heard him take a deep breath and knew he was running his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends the way he always did when he was stressed. “M‘not mad, sweetheart. I mean, maybe a little but I was more worried! That something had happened or I had done something or…I don’t know. Was just worried sick and…god I just fuckin’ missed you.” 

Had you mentioned that you were fucked? His words hit you a ton of bricks, any thoughts you had about moving on or maybe distancing yourself gone in an instant. Because he was worried. And he missed you. He fuckin’ missed you. And god you loved him so much it hurt, so much you could feel it in your fingertips and toes like little zaps of electricity when you thought of him or heard his voice. 

You were gone for Steve Harrington. 

“I..m’so sorry, Stevie. I missed you too, so much and I’m so sorry and I’m just…I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, you never do! I’ve just been a mess and my minds been a mess and I thought some time to myself would help me but really it's just..it doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m sorry and I missed you.” 

“S’okay, bunny. You alright? Can talk to me about anything, you know. I’m not…I know I’m not always the best at this stuff but I’d be good for you. I’ll listen to ya all day, do whatever I can to help you. Wanna come over? Movie night just the two of us? I’ll order you pizza and get you extra buttery popcorn and some ice cream, promise.” 

The thought of being alone with Steve sends red lights flashing through your brain but when he sounds so…god when he’s saying all the right things in a voice you’d dare describe as whiny you can’t help but to want to drop everything and all but crawl to him. 

So at the expense of your sanity you agree quickly, promising you’ll be there by 8 o’clock and hang up the phone before he can call you sweetheart or bunny again running up the stairs to take the coldest shower you’ve ever taken that does nothing to erase the thoughts of Steve from your mind. 

  *****************************************

The walk to Steve’s was surprisingly calm. You weren’t freaking out completely, just a little nervous but that was nothing new to you when it came to spending time with Steve, especially alone. 

Unfortunately for you, that calm lasted for all of about 10 minutes. 

In theory it was a good idea to spend some time with Steve after ignoring him for days. It was an okay idea to agree to a movie night with your best friend. Was. 

But now that you’re standing on his porch and his door was just thrown open to reveal a freshly showered Steve, it seems like all of this was a horrible idea. 

An awful, terrible, horribly bad idea. 

Awful because you can see little beads of water from his freshly washed hair dropping and running down his throat. Awful because the urge to lean forward and run your tongue over them is so strong you swear your mouth waters a little bit. 

Terrible because he’s wearing that goddamn white t-shirt that is hugging his arms so tight and since when did his arms start to look like that? Awful because that same damn shirt is tight over his chest too. It fits him so well you can see it snug against his tummy and waist. It fits him like a glove and your hands clench at your sides to keep from touching him. 

And this is bad. So horribly bad because he’s wearing his favorite pair of light wash denim jeans that cling to his thighs so nicely you feel your knees wobble. One of your hands comes up to your mouth to run over your chin, subconsciously making sure you’re not actually drooling despite the way you wish you could drop to your knees and spend hours leaving marks on those thighs. You can’t see his ass and you’re praying to god he doesn’t turn around so you don’t have to suffer through seeing how his jeans hug him just right. 

While your mind is running a million miles a minute with thoughts of Steve, you realize you actually haven’t said anything. Haven’t made a move to greet him or walk in, instead just standing there with what you imagine is a slack jaw and wide eyes. Willing yourself to meet his gaze, you somehow manage to drag your eyes off his thighs and bring them up, up, up until you meet his. 

He definitely does not look like a kicked puppy right now. Those brown eyes are darker and he’s wearing a smirk that would make you do anything he asked. He cocks his eyebrow at you, amusement clear in his face as you try and collect yourself. 

“You look starved, honey. Wanna come in?” 

   *********************************

After the initial embarrassment wears off, you feel a little better. Somehow managing to brush off his teasing as if you weren’t just devouring him with your eyes, you follow Steve to the kitchen, laughing as he tries to balance all the snacks he’d bought for you in arms. He shot you a glare full of playfulness when you tried to help, insisting that he “was a big boy and could handle the snacks.” 

Now you find yourself on that same couch from last week, much more space between the two of you than there had been then, a good foot and half extra in fact. Steve laughed when he saw you practically throw yourself to the other end of the couch, hand reaching out for you with a little pout on his lips. “Think I’m gonna bite you or something?” God I wish. Please please please bite me! 

But instead you held out your hand reluctantly, fingers twisting with his as he tugged you toward him. Movie night flashed in your head. His clothed thigh just inches away from yours, arm thrown over your shoulders and a cheeky grin on his face as he pulled you into his side. A satisfied hum was heard and you could have sworn you heard him mumble under his breath, sounding a lot like “much better” but it was hard to hear anything with the smell of him clouding your senses. 

Trying to get your thoughts off of him you reach forward to grab the dvd case laying on the table, a small smile gracing your lips as you see what he had picked. “John Carpenter's Halloween. I thought you said you’d never watch this?” This time when you turned to him, he was the one with red cheeks and shy smile as he glanced between the movie and you. A small shrug and wink was thrown your way, “S’one of your favorites. You should know you’re the exception to my rules.” 

You’re fucked. 

Heart pounding in your chest all you could manage was a smile and a small “thank you” before turning away, hoping he’d get up and start the movie so you’d have something to distract you from how sweet he was, watching a scary movie you know he doesn’t want to watch just because it’ll make you happy. 

It was about halfway through the movie when it happened. 

Everything was going well! You were snuggled into his side, actually paying attention to the movie and not sitting there distraught over being so close to him. You were so invested you hadn’t noticed your hand slip to his thigh during a scene that had made you jump. 

But Steve noticed. 

Too engrossed in your movie to see how your hand was holding his upper thigh and it definitely would have been too high if you’d been paying attention. You didn’t notice this or the way Steve was now on red alert, whole body tense with his hand gripping the couch cushion and his eyes trained on your hand as if to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. 

He could do this, he could ignore your hand and let you watch your movie. It would be fine. He’ll just slip into the bathroom when it’s over or wait till you go home to take care of his now aching cock. And god was he aching. He didn’t dare move, too nervous that you’d get all weird and fidgety like you’d been. This was the closest you’d been to him without seeming freaked out in weeks and he was not about to ruin that. 

The smell of your lavender shampoo overwhelmed him, a groan threatening to spill out while you sat there so unaware of how beautiful you looked just existing. He noticed everything about you. The slope of your little button nose and the way your lips, your perfect pink lips, parted just so when you were lost in thought. He noticed how your cheeks would turn the prettiest shade of red when he called you baby or honey or sweetheart. And he loved it, craved it even. He couldn’t tell if it was because of him or if you were just a sensitive little thing in general. He’d take what he could get with you, even if he had to live off your rosy cheeks and holding your pinky for the rest of his life. 

“Fuck, honey, m’sorry but you have got to move your hand, please.” Steve’s voice in your ear so suddenly made you jump, a small yelp leaving your lips as you turned to see what he was talking about. You didn’t even realize you were touching him! But one look down at this thigh and you gasped, cheeks burning as your eyes moved from your hand clinging to his thigh over to now very noticeable bulge straining against those light wash jeans. Ripping your hand away as if he’d burned you, a string of curses and apologies flew out as you scrambled to move as far away as possible. 

If he looked pained with your hand on his thigh then he looked downright miserable now that you’d taken it away. “Don’t have to run away from me, honey. M’sorry, didn’t mean to scare you I just…fuck I couldn’t sit still with you holding onto me like that.” He did his best to tug you back and you let him. “Sorry, Stevie. I wasn’t…I didn’t, I was just watching the movie I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

He looked at you with furrowed brows, eyes jumping all over your face like he knew something you didn’t, like he knew something you should know. Neither of you said anything, just stared at each other for some time before he sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch before coming back to look at you again. 

Hand cradling your cheek he gave you a small, tired small like he couldn’t believe you could possibly make him uncomfortable. That is not the word he would use. “Silly girl, I’m not uncomfortable because your hand was on me. I’m uncomfortable because your hand on me is making me wanna pin you down and fuck you so hard you can’t think straight.”

Oh. Oh. 

Lips parted you just stared at him, not sure you’d be able to form a coherent thought let alone words right now. He wanted to fuck you? Since when? Why hasn’t he ever brought this up? Doesn’t he know you’d do anything he asked of you? 

Steve let you process, could see the gears turning in that pretty head of yours and your eyes switching from looking at him to looking at where his cock was pressing up against the zipper of his pants. Maybe he’d said too much, gone too far. He was almost certain now that you liked him, wanted him, but maybe it was too overwhelming to be so blunt with you. 

“Y’know what baby? I can see you freaking out and I didn’t mean to make you nervous so I’m gonna go to the bathroom, alright? Gonna take care of this real quick and then we can finish the movie, can start another one if you want. I’ll be right back and we can figure this out later.” It was him getting off the couch that broke you out of whatever spell you were under, hand wrapping around his arm and if you weren’t so desperate for this, for him, you’d be embarrassed by the look of panic in your eyes at the thought of not getting to see this, to make him feel good. 

“Please stay. Just…fuck just stay, okay?” 

Both of you paused, staring at each other and waiting for someone to move or to breathe or just do something. A soft “okay” was murmured between you, Steve settling back into the couch as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck was this really happening? 

“Whatever you want to happen can happen, baby.” 

You definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud but now that you had, a little burst of courage hit you and you just let it pour out. “Didn’t mean to say that out loud I just..I didn’t…I’m nervous. You make me nervous. I want this. I want this so bad you have no idea but I didn’t know you wanted this so now my head is fucked and I’m rambling and kinda freaking out but you can stay. You can stay and I can watch or I can help or whatever you want just..stay. Ok?” You dared a glance up at Steve, his eyes wide and a grin broke out on his face. He looked as if you’d just handed him the moon not offered to watch him get off. 

Taking your hand in his he gave you a squeeze, “We’ll go slow. I can start and you can watch and if you wanna do more, feel fucking free, honey. But if you don’t, that’s fine. If you want me to stop, say the word. You’re in charge here,” he paused, lifting his hand to take my chin between his fingers so I’d be forced to meet his eyes, “and for the record, there hasn’t been I second I've known you where I haven’t wanted this. I’ll take anything you give me, swear it. Whatever you want, any way you want.” 

“Kiss me, please.” 

He didn’t need to be told twice, moving his hand to cup your cheek and pulling you toward him, his lips pressing against yours soft at first, testing the waters and trying to keep you calm. His lips were just as soft as you’d imagined, sweet like the candy he’d been eating earlier. You groaned against him, pushing closer and opening your mouth to invite him in, the thought of his tongue on yours enough to have you reaching your hands into his hair to tug him closer, closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between you. 

He pulled back first, a string of spit connecting the two of you and he cursed at the sight, “Jesus, fuck I can’t believe you’ve kept this sweet, pretty mouth away from me. S’not nice, baby. So mean to me, yeah?” If you thought you were desperate before it was nothing compared to now, now that you’d had a taste of him. 

“M’sorry Stevie, so sorry, not gonna keep em from you anymore. Promise, promise, promise.” You’re barely making sense, your head spinning and your body on fire. Foreheads pressed together you tried to catch your breath, but you couldn’t think or breathe or function when he was this close to you with his swollen, spit kissed lips just inches away from yours. 

Coming out of your post-kiss haze you move back beside Steve, eager and desperate to finally see him, all of him. His eyes widen as your hands go to the button of his jeans, tugging relentlessly and you're just so cute he has to laugh. Eager too and fuck how did he get so lucky?

“Take em off, please. Want them off, Stevie.” You’re full on pouting now and it takes everything in you not to cry. You’d do it if he wanted, you’d do anything. But he doesnt let it get that far, taking your hands off his jeans and cooing at you and it makes you feel a little pathetic but you can’t find it in yourself to care, not when he’s about to finally pull down his pants. 

He does so wordlessly, eyes bouncing from his lap to your face every few seconds like he’s checking in on you, making sure he’s not missing anything and that you still want this. It makes your tummy flutter and your heart race, his caring for you. His pants pushed down to his knees is all he can manage, head too fuzzy thinking about you and how he’s so hard it hurts worse than it ever has.

As soon as his jeans were out of your way you were staring, gawking really, at the white boxers sitting so prettily on his hips that were doing nothing to hide how hard, how big he was. A small wet patch forming where you know his tip is resting and it makes your mouth water. He’s just so hot. So hot and it makes it even better that this is because of you. Fuck.

A beg was on the tip of your tongue but before you could he put you out of your misery. Lifting his hips up you had to dig your nails into your palm to keep still while he pulled his boxers down, pretty, messy, cock slapping against his stomach. “Jesus fucking Christ, Steve! You’re so…I’m…fuck.” He breathed out a laugh which quickly turned to a wince when we saw how you were looking at him, at his cock. He felt himself twitch under your stare and you swear your mouth just fell open as if it was meant to be. 

His hand drifted towards his cock, eyes still on you to make sure you were okay. You gave him a nod and the sigh of relief you both had when he finally wrapped his hand around himself would have made you laugh if you weren’t throbbing. His head fell back against the couch and you were torn between watching him touch himself or watching his face while he did it. The former won, your eyes trailing the way his hand moved slowly, teasing the both of you. 

“S’pretty, you’re so pretty…” You’re not even sure you were talking to him, more just to yourself but he heard you nonetheless. His hips jerked at that, a small moan slipping past his swollen lips as he turned his head toward you, watching you with hooded eyes. I could watch this forever, you thought. 

You couldn’t believe it. A few days ago you were thinking of ways to never speak to Steve again and now here you were, watching him stroke his cock in front of you and looking at him as if he was your last meal. He held his hand out, a silent plea for something but you didn’t know what, not until he spoke.

“So good, baby, so pretty. Can you ju-just spit on my hand for me, honey? Lick it, spit on it, anything you want, I just need you please.” His words were slurred and if you hadn’t spent the last few hours together you would think he was drunk. He seemed so out of it, but in the best way. Like he didn’t just want you but needed you. It made you feel good, better than you ever had and it gave you a spark of bravery you were missing before. 

Knocking his hand out of your way you leaned forward with cautious eyes, watching as he tried to figure out what you were doing until it dawned on him and his cock twitched in his hand. You leaned forward, face hovering inches above him and spit, both of you watching as it dropped from your mouth to his tip, covering the top of his hand as he began to stroke himself again. His lips parted in an “o”, eyes squeezed shut and his tummy clenching as he let out the loudest moan you had heard, so loud and strong you felt yourself clenching around nothing.

You were wet but with Steve looking and sounding like that you couldn’t bring yourself to care about how bad you were aching right now, far too focused on Steve and how his thighs were starting to shake a little and his hips were starting to move faster and more uneven. 

“C-can I?” 

His eyes shot open, head shaking furiously before he had even fully understood what you were asking. He knew he wouldn't last more than ten seconds if you touched him but he couldn’t care less. All he could think about was how pretty you were, how good he was feeling, how you had just fucking spit on his cock. He would take whatever you gave him. 

With a whine that you would replay in your mind for the rest of your life he took his hand off, tugging yours closer to take his place. Both of you moaned at the contact and you were almost convinced you could cum just from touching him. “Help me, I want you to feel good, please.” He looked like a bobblehead as he nodded, putting his much larger hand over yours and giving it a squeeze, helping you to stroke him just how he liked, though anything from you would feel a million times better than his own hand. 

Addicted would be the word to describe it. Now that you had touched him, felt how hot and smooth his cock was in your hand, how pretty it looked all pink and wet and coated in your spit. Steve liked it messy and apparently so did you. You thought you were addicted to his cock, and you were, but nothing prepared you for the absolute filth that started spilling from him once he finally had your hand on him. It made you dizzy and out of breath and goddamn you would have to throw these panties in the trash after this. Absolutely ruined, just like you were. 

“Fuckin’ dreamed about this, ‘bout your hand on my cock, s’good, baby.”

“Don’t think I don’t see you squirming, honey. My pretty girl all wet ‘n needy and I haven’t even touched you. Bet you’re drenched and achy, huh?”

“Gonna make me cum, gonna make a mess of us but I bet you’ll be good and clean it up for me, won’t ya, bunny?”

He was babbling now and you could barely make sense of what he was saying but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t and you didn’t want to. His cock was slick with precum and your spit one of his hands guiding yours in quick strokes while his other was gripping the couch so hard his knuckles were white. 

“M’close, honey…so so close.”

“Please, Stevie…want it, I need it, please.” And that was all it took. No warning, your words taking him by surprise and hitting him like a punch to the gut. He took his hand off, bringing it to your hair and tugging you to him. It was a messy kiss, lips pressed together while he moaned against you, just breathing each other in while he cursed and whined, his hips stilling and you slowed, looking down just in time to see him cum. Your hand and his lower stomach was covered, his hand that was gripping the couch now thrown over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. 

Chest and neck covered in sweat, he looked good. When he finally had gathered himself enough to look at you, he instantly regretted it. Instead of his innocent best friend, his sweet little bunny, he was looking at a little devil lapping at his cum on her hand like she hadn’t eaten in days. His softening cock twitched against his thighs and he stifled a groan when you hummed happily at the taste. 

“Christ, you’re gonna kill me.” You shrugged half heartedly, not even a little bit of you was sorry. 

“Can we finish the movie now, Stevie? I’ll probably pass out soon you wore me out, but I’m too tired to move.”

He looked down at you a little confused, your cheeks still pink and thighs still clenched together tightly. “You don’t…I can…I wanna take care of you too, sweetheart. Been dying to get a taste of you, know you’re sweet.”

You giggled and even though you were a mess, in every sense of the word, you didn’t think you could handle anymore and told him as such, eyes already feeling droopy and your body sagging against him. “Next time? Promise you can do anything you want to me next time but watching you cum was enough for me.” Your cheeks flamed as if you hadn’t just licked your best friend’s cum off your hand. 

“Alright, honey. Let’s finish your movie, you little vixen. Didn’t even take me out to dinner before you were drooling over my cock. A crime!” His smile was bright as you smacked at his chest and cursed him for teasing you.

You were sure that what had just happened would hit you soon and the panic would set in but for now you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you pressed a kiss to Steve’s bare chest and felt his grin against the top of your head. 

Did I mention I was fucked? 

[alisonsfics]

date crasher

pairing: carmy berzatto x reader

summary: carmy and you have been broken up for years, but continued to be very good friends. that works fine until carmy hears that you have a date.

word count: 1.5k

“Are you sure you can’t stay a little longer?” Carmy asked you, leaning against the doorframe of the office. You shook your head, knowing he wasn’t done trying to convince you.

“Marcus is almost done making those donuts I was telling you about. They’re blueberry, your favorite. You’d love them.” He said, trying to persuade you. You frowned at him. “I just came to give you these. I can’t stay. I’m sorry.” You said, grabbing a bag out of your purse and handing it to him.

His fingers ghosted over yours as he accepted the bag. “You brought me muffins from my favorite bakery. Thank you. You’re the best.” He said, pulling you in to a side hug.

You both lingered, not wanting to pull away. Then, Richie appeared in the doorway. “Oh, hey, I didn’t know you were here.” Richie said, waving at you. You smiled back at him. “Hey, Richie. I was just about to leave.” You said, earning a frown from Carmy.

“Can I walk you out?” Carmy asked, resting his hand on the back on your arm. You nodded, smiling at him. “Bye, Richie, it was nice to see you.” You said, giving him a quick hug as you and Carmy walked past him.

You and Carmy silently walked to your car. His hand grazed against yours, causing your skin to tingle.

You got to your car and leaned backwards against the driver’s door. “Are you sure you have to leave? I miss you.” Carmy said, softly. You gave his hand a quick squeeze.

“Yeah, I gotta head back to my apartment to get ready—” You said. You tried to stop yourself from admitting too much. “Get ready for what?” Carmy asked, curiously. You crossed your arms and sighed.

“I have a date tonight.” You said, hesitantly. Carmy’s shock was written on his face. You and Carmy didn’t talk about your love lives. Your relationship was tricky enough being lovers turned exes turned friends, so you usually didn’t talk about dating.

“Oh,” he said, failing to mask his disappointment. He saw how nervous you looked. “No, I don’t mean it like that. That’s really great. I hope you have a good time.” He said. The lie wasn’t convincing.

“Thank you, Carm. We’ll talk later, okay?” You asked him. He quickly nodded and pulled you in to a hug. You got into your car and waved at Carmy as you drove away.

After Carmy got home, all he could think about you was going on a date. He knew that it was your business and he shouldn’t care, but he couldn’t help it.

He worried about you. He always wanted to keep you safe.

Every time he thought about it, he felt a twinge of jealousy. The thought of somebody putting their hands on you made him shudder.

You had just finished getting ready for your date. You adjusted your hair and slipped on your heels.

You heard a knock at your front door. You grabbed your purse and your phone and went towards the door. You opened your door, expecting your date. Instead, you were face to face with Carmy.

“Carmy, what’re you doing here?” You asked him, in shock. His eyes slowly ran down your body, admiring your outfit. “Wow,” he mumbled under his breath.

You felt your heart flutter a little as he watched you. Carmy always looked at you like you were a supermodel. “You look…amazing,” he said. He was almost speechless.

“Thank you, Carmy,” you said, bashfully. He reached out to grab your hand and spun you around in a circle.

“Carm, seriously. Why’re you here?” You asked him. Before he could answer you, you noticed someone walking up behind him.

It was your date.

“Oh, uh…hey,” your date said, glancing between you and Carmy.

“Oh, ummm Jonathon, this is my friend Carmy. Carmy, this is Jonathon, my date.” You said, introducing the both of them. Carmy clenched his jaw as he looked Jonathon up and down.

“Oh, your date tonight! I totally forgot. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to talk to you about something, but I don’t want to interrupt.” Carmy lied through his teeth. You glared at him, knowing he fully remembered your date.

You looked in between Carmy and Jonathon. “You two talk. I’ll go wait in the car when you’re ready.” Jonathon started to say. You quickly shook your head and grabbed his hand.

“No no, you’re okay. Carmy, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay? It’s not an emergency, right?” You asked him, firmly. You knew it was a tricky topic between the two of you, but you weren’t going to let Carmy sabotage your date.

You reached over and grabbed Jonathon’s hand. You watched Carmy’s grip tighten on his phone in his hand. He glared over at Jonathon. “I really need to talk to you.” Carmy said, urgently.

“I’ll give you both a minute.” Jonathon said, walking away. You crossed your arms as you faced Carmy.

“So, an emergency, huh? And you forgot about my date?” You asked him, glaring at him.

“I’m sorry. I really wasn’t trying to make you upset.” He quickly apologized when he realized you were annoyed. You continued to stare at him, waiting for him to explain.

“Please don’t go on this date.” He begged you. He reached out to grab your hands, but you stepped away from him. “Hold on, Carmy. What’re you talking about?” You asked.

“Can you please just do me this one favor?” Carmy asked you. You could see the desperation in his eyes. It was like his life depended on it.

“Why, Carmy? I need to know what you’re talking about.” You told him. Your mind was racing trying to figure out why Carmy didn’t want you to go on the date.

Carmy pushed his hair out of his face. He took a deep breath. “I have no right to try to stop you, I know that. But, I was thinking about you going on this date, and then it hit me. I still love you, and I shouldn’t drop this on you like this. But, you’re the only person I imagine myself with and the only person I want to spend time with.” He confessed, grabbing your hands.

You could feel your eyes go wide. It felt too good to be true. “Carm, this is…” you were at a loss for words.

“Crazy, I know, trust me,” he said, finishing your thought.

“We haven’t been together in five years, and you just want to jump back into this?” You asked him, still in shock.

Carmy shrugged. You leaned back against the wall, trying to process everything he was saying. “I don’t know. I just know when I hang out with you, I never want to leave. And I think about you all the time. And the thought you with another guy kills me.” He told you.

He searched your eyes for any clue as to how you were feeling. “Carmy, this is a lot to think about,” you hesitated. Carmy stepped back from you, realizing he was overwhelming you.

“I’m sorry to ambush you like this. You should go on your date, but just please think about it.” Carmy said, before turning to leave.

You fixed your hair and took a deep breath before going to find Jonathon.

Carmy sulked back to his apartment. After four hours had past, he knew it was too late for you two. He called Richie and ranted about the whole situation. Richie told him he’d come over right away.

Carmy tried to watch tv, but his mind lingered to thoughts of you. He’d lost you for the second time. Somehow, it hurt even worse than the first time. Now, he knew you were really gone.

He heard a knock at the door and got up to answer it. He was relieved to have Richie to talk to. It was one of the only times Richie wasn’t arguing with Carmy.

Richie knew how much Carmy loved you, even after all these years. So, he knew how devastated Carmy was.

Carmy opened the door, but he wasn’t looking at Richie.

You were standing in front of him. You were out of breath from running to Carmy’s apartment.

“Of course it’s always been you. I just needed time to think.” You exclaimed. The tension and stress left Carmy’s body. He leaped forward towards you. His hands grabbed your waist as he kissed you.

He ran his thumbs against the satin fabric of your dress. You wrapped your arms around Carmy’s neck. His lips moved quickly and desperately across yours.

You both had years to catch up on.

He softly nipped at your bottom lip. It’d been years, but he was already jumping back into old habits. You grinned against the kiss.

You never wanted to forget the way his curls felt in your fingers or the way he always tasted like a mix of spearmint and cigarettes.

“Looks like I don’t need to cheer you up,” you both heard someone say at the end of the hallway.

You both quickly pulled apart. With his arms around your waist, Carmy pulled you behind him, protecting you.

You both realized it was Richie.

“I’m glad you both pulled your heads out of your asses.” Richie said, chuckling.

“Yeah, me too.” You said, wrapping your arm around Carmy’s shoulders and kissing his cheek.

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[after-the-end-times]

Stupid Sexy Tree Trimming

Prompt: Tree 🎄 Rating: T 🎄 Words: 999 Tags: Established Relationship, Suggestive Language, Pre-Thanksgiving Christmas Tree, The Party shenanigans, The Inherent Intimacy of Tree Trimming @steddieholidaydrabbles Ao3

“Ok, who’s gonna be my fluffer?”

Eddie pauses with the front door still open, dried leaves blowing in on the fall wind, and blinks at what he just heard his boyfriend say from the other room. He has to imagine it’s not what it sounded like, so he just shuts the door and drops his bag and jacket by the coat closet.

“I’ll get your balls!”

Now that brings him up short, because Jonathon has who’s what?! What’s he even doing here? Didn’t Steve say they were gonna have a nice, quiet evening in?

“Ugh no. You’re not fluffing right. Here watch this. You grab here and pull up, down, over. And then repeat that. Up, down, over. Up, down, over. See? Much better.”

Well, now this is getting ridiculous, because what is Jonathon and Nancy doing here? And doing something that involves fluffing, grabbing, pulling...and balls?

Eddie finally makes it down the hall and turns the corner to see...a mess. That’s what they’re all doing here: making a giant mess that’s taking up every surface of the room.

And at the heart of the mess is Steve.

Well, Steve and half a tree?

Eddie gives an impressed whistle at the display, startling several of the kids who are sitting on the floor with piles of old newspaper and ornaments around them,

Steve looks up at him and his face lights up.

Oh yeah, Eddie will never get tired of that. Definitely one of his Top 5 Favorite Steve Faces™

“Eddie! You’re back early!”

Not one of his top 5 favorite phrases though. That one always means someone’s up to something.

“Yeeeeah, sooo. What’s going on here? And why is that tree naked?” He says pointing at the limbless tree trunk Steve’s standing next to.

“Oh! Ha, yeah. It’s our Christmas tree!” he gestures toward the tree and then to the kids bickering on the floor, “The kids came over and then one thing led to another and I was dragging the box down from the attic and they were pulling down the boxes of ornaments and decorations and I know we were going to wait until December to decorate for Christmas but-”

“Hey hey,” Eddie gently steps through and around the kids and piles of stuff on the floor, pushing aside a huge cardboard box, “It’s fine! I was just surprised. And confused. When we talked about putting up a tree, I thought you’d want to go get a real tree. You know, chop it down and drag it home, all that.”

He made it through to the other side, Steve taking his hands so he could step over a pile of tree limbs without falling on his face.

“Nope, no real trees in this house.” He starts taking the limbs from the pile at their feet and matching the colors on the stems to the little holes on the trunk. Eddie grabs up a handful of branches to hand them one by one to Steve.

He continues, “My parents used to get a huge real tree before I was born and even when I was little, but after a few years they realized it was the tree giving me terrible sinus infections every winter. So they got this tree and I’ve had healthy Christmases ever since!” he huffs out a chuckle, “They also realized it was a lot cleaner without the pine needles falling everywhere and no one had to climb under the tree to water it. So a win win for everyone!”

“Huh, didn’t know you had tree allergies.” He says as Robin hands him a pile of fresh properly fluffed branches. He hands a few to Steve and starts adding his own to the little slots.

Humming to himself, he blithely continues, “We’ll have to invest in one of these for our place then. Only happy, breathable Christmases for us!”

Steve sucks in a breath, “Our place?”

Silence rings out from behind him. Eddie turns to see the older teens gathering up the kids, Robin trying to stay behind and getting bodily shoved out by Nancy and Jonathon.

“What?” Eddie turns back to see Steve gazing at him, eyes shining.

“You wanna move in together? Have Christmases together? Even though we’ve only been dating a month?”

“Well, yeah. Don’t you?”

And there it is again, quickly becoming his #1 Favorite Steve Face™, that light beaming from his wide smile and scrunched up eyes, all right before he picks Eddie up and spins him in a tight circle.

“Yesyesyes, of course!”

They come to a stop and Steve presses a hard kiss against his mouth, Eddie softens it holding his jaw gently. He slowly pulls away to rest his forehead against Steve’s. They can’t stop grinning and softly laughing.

“Can we come back now!”

“Are you getting engaged!”

“I still have your balls!”

“Ew! Stop saying that!”

Laughing, Steve pulls back to yell back, “Yes! Come back in! No! We’re not engaged!” he catches Eddie’s eyes and whispers, “Someday?”

Eddie presses his own hard kiss against Steve’s lips, backing up far enough to whisper, “Someday. Also. Why does Jonathon keep talking about your balls?”

Steve throws his head back, cackling.

“Christmas baubles,” He gets out through a laugh. “Mike hates it, so Jonathon thinks it’s hilarious.”

“Oh, I need to get in on that.” He pecks a kiss on Steve’s lips before turning around, throwing an arm out in proclamation. “I get to hold Steve’s balls next! Hand them over Jon, you’ve had them long enough. They’re officially mine now, almost engaged and everything!”

Mike glares from his spot on the floor. “Stop. You’re not funny.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Steve?”

“So funny, baby,” Steve wraps an arm around him, speaking low in his ear. “But, maybe we finish this tree now and then you can handle some other baubles later?”

Turning in his arms. he leers, “Oh Stevie, I can’t wait to trim your tree tonight. But this time? I get to be the fluffer.”

[aquadraco20]

Bearded dragon substrate, humidity, and diet.

Inspired by @kaijutegu's recent post, let’s talk about calcium sand.

So, calcium sand, and substrate in general, has been attributed to impaction in bearded dragons (and other reptiles, but for this post, we’re just focusing on dragons.) However, while some substrates are more natural choices than others, and as such are more digestible, substrate itself is typically not the root cause of impaction. Improper husbandry such as dehydration, improper lighting, diet and supplementation all negatively impact the digestive system as well as the body in general, and the problems only compact when these factors are stacked together.

Firstly, lets look at a bearded dragons natural habitat. This video courtesy of the veterinarian Jonathon Howard, known online as the Beardie Vet, shows the texture of the substrate that wild dragons live on. The sand is loose on top but packed underneath. The grain size is about 96% fine sand.

Next, lets look at this map.

This map courtesy of Claire Jaworski overlays wild bearded dragon sightings from iNaturalist over a soil composition map of Australia. Note how many of the sightings are found in Calsisol zones. Calsisol (also known as calcarosol) zones are characterized by containing 15% or more calcium carbonate. We know that bearded dragons engage in geophagy, or intentionally eating substrate. This is likely a natural behavior that they would perform in the wild to fulfill their biological need for calcium. We provide calcium as a supplement so that they do not perform this behavior in captivity (however this is not the only vitamin we should be providing!!!)

Next we should consider humidity, as there is not much standing water in their natural habitat, as well as diet, which they also obtain water from.

Contrary to popular belief, the natural habitat of bearded dragons has a very wide range of humidity, both throughout the day and throughout the year. When they are found basking, the humidity typically ranges between 10-30%. However, the morning after rain can be around 60%.

According to these maps, which measured the humidity of Australia over the course of 30 years, many dragons would be found in areas that range between 50-70% humidity in the morning and 20-40% at 3 in the afternoon.

It is also important to note that dragons are frequently found in burrows when not out and about. In these burrows, the humidity can be higher than the surrounding air.

As far as diet, this entire post is just a fantastic resource, again, courtesy of the Beardie Vet. In the wild, adult female dragons would be ingesting 48% plant matter in their diet, with males ingesting 68%. As far as moisture content, “Most plants/herbs are around 85% water – herbage 80% water, flowers observed eating >90% water; Insects are about 65% water – Termites 60% water, crickets 67% water.”

Bearded dragons, while they do not spend a lot of time drinking, are dependent on both the natural humidity cycle and their diet to stay hydrated. It is not natural to maintain a humidity of 30% or lower all year round, and compounded with poor diet and lack of access to water, can lead to dehydration, which in turn disrupts the digestive system’s ability to do its job.

So let's bring it back. Bearded dragons are naturally found on substrate with calcium in it. If you look at Zoomed or Fluker’s calcium supplement, for example, you will see that they are calcium carbonate. If you look at the ingredients for T-Rex, RepTerra or Komodo’s calcium sand, all are made with the exact same calcium carbonate.

So what’s the problem? The problem is, in the absence of poor husbandry, the ratio. Remember that Calsisol is 15% or more calcium carbonate. Well, most bags of calcium sand are 100% calcium carbonate. They should not be used straight, instead mixed together with other safe substrates such as children's play sand, excavator clay, and pesticide and fertilizer-free topsoil to create a natural and safe substrate mixture. The proper substrate will not only allow them to create burrows like they would in the wild, it will allow females a safe place to lay eggs (which they can do even without the presence of a male), help retain heat, and keep humidity at normal levels, as well as provide natural enrichment.

Thank you for reading.

[bornonthesavage]

Steve Harrington was in a rut. That’s all this was. Ever since he’d split with Nancy, everything had seemed to blend together into one dreary day after another. It didn’t help that he was, effectively, alone. Sure, he had a gaggle of middle schoolers who he sometimes drove around or hosted at his big empty house, but it seemed a bit pathetic to call them his friends. Maybe Dustin was. But other than that, he had no one. And as January bled into February, that fact was becoming increasingly depressing.

At school he sat alone, tucked away into a far corner of the cafeteria where he could go easily unnoticed. He sometimes caught sight of Nancy as she walked with Jonathon, probably to go eat in the library or outside. Which sucked. But he was fine. He was. It was just… he needed a distraction. Something to take his mind off it. So far, he’d come up with nothing.

When there weren’t interdimensional beings crawling through the walls, the sad truth was that Hawkins was unbearably boring. Not much in the way of distractions, between the same old people he’d known his whole life and the nonexistent party scene. Well, there were parties. None that he had any interest in attending. Not anymore.

And he’d tried dating. Because despite the fact he was no longer King, he was still Steve Harrington. Plenty of girls were interested in getting the whole experience. Or maybe they just wanted to snag a good-looking rich boy. Either way, it didn’t matter to Steve. The only problem was that not one of the girls he’d gone out with had done anything to ebb this constantly growing boredom. It had only been two months since he’d jumped back into the dating scene, and he’d been on nine separate dates. Every single one was a failure.

So maybe he’d take a break from that. It was probably just too soon. He’d felt ready, but maybe he was wrong. That still did nothing to provide an adequate distraction. He could always try and find new friends. But that begged the question. Where could an eighteen-year-old guy find friends around his age in a school full of dickheads? It was a conundrum.

Steve slipped out of the cafeteria early, eager to get to his locker before the rest of the student population descended upon the halls. Which, maybe avoiding every other person within his age group seemed counterintuitive. But he’d met most of them, and for the most part, he had no interest in being friends with any of them. Maybe he could branch out. Look into some of the social circles he’d yet to dip his toe into. The drama kids didn’t seem too bad. Maybe a little dramatic, but that was the point. Or hell, even some of the band kids seemed kind of cool. He could always—

His inner dialog was interrupted when his shoulder came into contact with another student who had been walking in the opposite direction. A student who had been deeply engrossed in the papers he’d been reading, too distracted to notice Steve approaching. Which, to be fair, Steve had been too distracted to notice him as well. As their shoulders slammed together, papers and notebooks rained from the other student arms, sliding across the linoleum floors.

“Jesus Christ! Seriously? I wasn’t even—” The other student looked up, and Steve immediately recognized him as one Eddie Munson. The school freak and drug dealer. Eddie stopped as soon as he saw Steve, his face shuttering for a second before morphing into a scowl. Before Steve could formulate a response, Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes, then dropped to his knees to begin collecting his papers. He heard him mutter “Figures,” under his breath.

Steve could take a wild guess at what that meant. He didn’t remember ever doing anything personally to Munson, but he’d definitely never done anything to stop his ex-friends from bullying him. Which was pretty much as bad. But he wasn’t that person anymore, and he was determined to prove that.

He dropped down beside Eddie and began to slide some of the notebooks that had made it to his side of the hall closer. He’d only managed to grab a couple when Eddie’s voice stopped him.

“Harrington, what are you doing?” His tone was sharp and cautious, as though sure this was some type of trick. Which, yeah, Steve sort of deserved that.

Steve held up one of the papers, which looked like a history exam. “Helping pick up the stuff I made you drop. What does it look like?”

Eddie just blinked at him. “Why?”

“Uh, I don’t understand the question. Why wouldn’t I?”

But Eddie was shaking his head. “So, what? You shoulder check me, make me drop all my shit, and then pick it up? Is this some new type of jock power play?”

Oh. Eddie thought he’d done it on purpose. Well, that sucked. Probably said a lot about what most of the school population thought of him. Why would anyone want to be his friend when they all thought he was a huge asshole? Steve swallowed and ducked his head to hide his hurt expression. It wasn’t Eddie’s problem.

“No, um, sorry. I didn’t run into you on purpose. I just wasn’t looking where I was going. So, sorry about that.”

The frown slid off Eddie’s face, replaced with a mixture of confusion and mistrust. “Really? King Steve, apologizing to little old me? I never thought I’d see the day.”

Steve snorted and shook his head. “Dude, I’m not a King anymore. Can’t be, when I don’t have any friends. Or hadn’t you noticed?”

Eddie hummed. “Yeah, I thought I saw Hargrove sitting on your throne, surrounded by the little lap dogs. Surprised you haven’t tried to take it back.”

“Nah,” Steve said with a shrug. “I gave that shit up on purpose. I don’t want it anymore.”

He continued to scoop up papers and notebooks, doing his best to straighten them out, while Eddie continued to stare. It was slightly unnerving.

“Why not? It seemed like it must have been pretty nice at the top.”

Steve shrugged, not making eye contact. “It was, for a while. But then someone opened my eyes to what… to what bullshit it all was. Once it was seen, it couldn’t be unseen. So, I think I’ll be happy hanging out at the bottom for a little while.”

When he finally looked up and met Eddie’s eye once more, the other boy was staring open mouthed. As if he were seeing something he couldn’t quite believe. It made Steve self-conscious, like maybe he’d revealed a little bit too much of himself. He cleared his throat.

“I really am sorry for running into you.”

Eddie blinked a few times, then shook his head. “Uh, no, it’s fine. Accidents happen. Or at least that’s what my uncle told me three times a day growing up. I was a chaotic kid. Knocked lots of stuff over.”

Steve chuckled. “That was nice of him. Kids should be allowed to make mistakes without it seeming like the world is ending.”

He handed off the papers he’d collected, then scooped up the last folder. It fell open in his hand, and he caught a glimpse of the book inside. “Oh, Dungeons and Dragons! You play?”

Eddie’s eyes looked like they were about to fall out of his head. “You… You know what Dungeons and Dragons is?”

“Yeah. Well, I mean, the kids I babysit play it. They never shut up about it, actually, so it would be kind of difficult for me to not know about. It’s got like, Demogorgon’s and Mind Flayers and shit, right?”

Rather than answer, Eddie made a choked off sort of noise in the back of his throat, as if he wasn’t getting enough air. Steve raised a hand to rest on his shoulder.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

That seemed to jolt Eddie out of whatever fit he was having, as he suddenly bolted upright into a standing position. “No, yeah, I’m good. Totally cool. Super cool. Look at me. When have I ever not been cool?”

Steve straightened up and raised an eyebrow, letting a smile grow on his face. “Yeah, totally. You seem really chill.”

That earned him a glare, though it looked like Eddie was also fighting a grin, which made Steve laughed. “Don’t mock me Harrington, or I’ll deduct all the points you’ve earned over the last couple minutes.”

“Oh, well we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

He handed back the folder, which Eddie snatched back. “You’re sort of a bitch, you know that?”

“Yeah, duh. I can’t go losing all my charm now, can I?”

“Charm, he says,” Eddie muttered. “Just watch where you’re going next time, alright Harrington? Not all of our beloved peers will be as benevolent as I.”

“Not sure what benevolent means, but yeah, I’ll do my best.”

He flashed one more grin, which Eddie seemed to take in with a sort of dazed stare. Without another word, the other boy spun around and continued on his way in the other direction. That was when Steve noticed the black bandana that must have fallen out of his pocket. He picked it up and was about to call after him when the bell rang shrilly overhead. Almost immediately, the halls began to fill with students.

Steve looked down at the black square of cloth. It was nothing special, but he was pretty sure he’d seen it hanging off the metalhead a few times. Maybe it had sentimental value. Well, he would just have to find a time to return it. After all, hadn’t he just been thinking that he needed something interesting to distract him? A new friend to take his mind off everything? Huh. Maybe Eddie Munson was exactly what he’d been looking for.

Part 2

[the-s1lly-corner]

Flufftober prompt 2: Love confession (Jonathon Ohnn)

technical long awaited part 2 for this post ! we love revisiting old stuff in this house! prompt list here side note i just realized people spell his name as both jonathon and jonathan- is there an official spelling or do we all just use it interchangeably? def making it a hc that he gets annoyed when people spell his name wrong. esp after he becomes the spot... loss of identity stuff plot: following the events of the post linked above, you both get in the car to continue your trip. Surely, Jonathon's feelings won't rip themselves out of his throat on the way? notes: reader is gn, unestablished relationship, jonathathon crushing on reader, not proof read we die like uncle aaron, admin only knows lore based off the spiderverse stuff they have no prior knowledge on any other iteration of ohnn, pre collider, ambiguous ending, possible part 3 if the admin ever feels inclined to continue the story word count: 1.5k cws: none

Jonathon struggled to stay awake the morning after everything. After he had pulled himself out of bed between... god his mind was clinging together to keep details clear... it was somewhere between two in the morning and four, though he could be completely wrong. He decided to wait out the rest of night outside your hotel room. He did not get a single wink of sleep, his thoughts consuming him. Naturally, you didn't allow him to drive the car. There was still many hours left on the trip, and that wasn't even factoring in the drive back. You curse Alchemex for not sending someone else, or working out a different arrangement than having someone pick up the parts needed for some... machine...

"We'll stop in a few hours for breakfast, maybe around nine... does that sound alright? Could you try to catch some sleep so we can switch off eventually?" You glanced at Jonathon as the car rolled to a stop at the light. His eyes lazily pulled themselves to look at you, his glasses were secured in their case and tucked away in the door.

He scrunches his eyes closed, attempting to pull himself together. "Yeah, yeah... that works," He leaned back into his seat as the car began to move again.

It was gloomy outside, dark clouds hung in the sky as if it were about to rain. At least it was better than having the morning light going straight into his eyes. He leaned away from you and tried to get comfortable. It was horribly quiet, and suddenly he became all too aware of his breathing. He wasn't being too loud, or breathing too heavily? He shot a glance to you, and even though your eyes were still glued on the road ahead his sleep deprived mind would not stop the buzzing thought that you were judging him silently. He took a deep breath, and held it for as long as he could without turning red. He slowly exhaled as soft as he could. And he continued the process.

He did not get any sleep, too preoccupied on trying to make the air less awkward than it was. But you never seemed to notice it, or him. It remained this way for hours, until you both eventually pulled into a parking lot of some fast food place. Jonathon nearly jumped out of his skin when you gently shook his arm. His throat clenched painfully before he regained himself. "Sorry! I didn't realize you were asleep!" You apologized. You hadn't noticed after all. Gaze darting, he shook his head. "No, no no it's... fine..."

"Do you want to go inside, or do you just want to pass through the drive thru? I meant to ask you before pulling in, but some douchebag..." You trailed off. "I'm surprised you didn't wake up from the swerve."

Bringing the palms of his hands to his eyes he rubbed them, then blinked his vision clear. The clock said nine. You'd been on the road for three hours. A dull ache in his legs made themselves known suddenly as he pulled his eyes open wider. "We can go inside, give us a chance to walk and go to the bathroom,"

You nod in agreement.

Breakfast was uneventful, you both ate mostly in silence save for you checking in on him. Did you need to make a stop so he can get some proper rest? He insisted that he was fine, but you could tell he was lying through his teeth.

Soon you were back on the road, with you taking it upon yourself to simply keep driving for the remainder of this half of the trip. You did not feel confident with the idea of your coworker driving in his current state.

Morning stretched to noon, and then to late afternoon. The sky had since cleared for the most part, the sunset shining its light on your side of the car. You couldn't blame Ohnn for staring, with the way he could see each individual strand of hair lit up by the orange light. Or how your skin seemed to glow, you looked... alive. That was a normal thing to say about someone, surely!

It was this, mixed with the exhaustion that Jonathon let a single word slip through his chewed lips.

"Wow.."

That was all he said, his face burning brighter against the light that made it past you and onto his own face. He doubted he looked as beautiful as you in the light. His only redeeming quality right now, were his brown eyes. Brown eyes always seemed to look gorgeous in the light.

"Did you say something?" You shot a side glance to him, his teeth clenching as he realized his mistake.

But...

Was it a mistake?

He thought over his thoughts from the night before in bed. Everything he wanted to say to you. His eyes fixated on you, like a child staring at a bug they've found under a rock. He pulled his bottom lip in with his teeth, and ran them along the flesh. He weighed his options. He could be bold and say everything now... or he could keep quiet... If things ended bad, he could perhaps let himself wallow in shame in the passenger seat or ask someone to help him get home if you didn't allow him to ride back with you.

""Are you okay? " You asked when you didn't get a response. All day you had been worried about the man, his behavior was so off and it you were beginning to believe you may have done something wrong. Maybe you should have let him sleep on the floor like he had insisted, did you make him feel pressured to share the bed with you?

"No, actually I'm not." He said after a few seconds. A horrible opener, really. He didn't have time to fight his body cringing, he had already committed to this. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you," He added. That didn't make it sound any better. Before he could back out you were already pulling the car into the parking lot of a gas station, stopping the car. He had your full attention now.

"Is this about the bed thing? Or is it something else?"

He sucked air between his teeth, scraping his mind for some way to back out of this. This wasn't the best time to confess your feelings, was it? Let alone the right place. Jonathon had always thought that he would try to orchestrate something to "naturally" have you two fall together, opening a window to ask you out.. this was.. not at all what he had planned. He felt far too vulnerable, the inside of the car suddenly felt too small.

He was going to dismiss everything off as a joke, but when his eyes caught yours his jaw started working against him. In perhaps the most humiliating way.

"I'm in love with you, (Reader)"

The air hung thick.

Such a horrible way to say it.

He will never have the chance to confess to you in the way he wanted to, never would he want it to go out like this. He cursed himself for this failure.

What a waste.

He tore his eyes away from you as his face began to burn, soon followed by his ears and the back of his neck turning a bright shade of pink. For a horrifying moment he wondered if you would tell the rest of your coworkers about this. He tried to dismiss it once more, trying to follow it by a "Just kidding!" but his jaws betrayed him once more.

It was quiet, and he became aware of his breathing again. He began to focus on it, working to make sure it wasn't too loud in the space you shared.

He chanced a glance at you through the corner of his eye, only to see that similarly your face was burning as well. "You don't.. have to say anything-"

"No, I'm glad you told me..." You pulled your gaze forward and worked your brows together. More quiet followed before you breathed deeply and exhaled. You looked at the time, prompting him to look as well. He had been so deep in his thoughts and feelings the entire day that he had forgotten why you were driving. His horror deepens as he realizes that he had practically confessed to you while you were working... he wanted to bury himself into the ground.

"Can we talk about this later, when we get this.." You motion your hand around, "over with? When we get back home, I mean,"

It felt like a gut punch, but he understood. You both had a job to do, pick something up and return.

He nodded, trying to swallow the hurt look that tried to come out.

You nodded, and pulled the car out of the parking lot and returned driving. You both made it to your location, and got what you needed. There was no way the two of you were going to drive tonight, however, given the exhaustion settling in both of you.

This time Jonathon made sure the hotel room had two beds.

[last-of-the-independents]

ANDREW ROBINSON as Jonathon Renfield in MATT HOUSTON - S1.E17 (Here's Another Fine Mess, 1983)

[bluesfreakingart]

Alright this is so hella random, but I think horses hate Jonathan and Edward but love Jervis. I imagine them for some reason being around horses and Edward is like: "Alright farm boy it's your time to shine!!" And Jonathon is immediately kicked up on nearing them. (They can sense his bad vibes)

Jervis is having the time of his life tho and is fulfilling every horse girl's fantasy.

Hope you know you've made a silly little situation in my brain giving this idea fr. "MAYBE I WANTED TO BE A PRINCE CHARMING DESCENDING FROM A FINE STEED, and, took some classes outside of Gotham! you don't know me." "I know everything about you and I know damn right well you didn't" "..." "..." "Eddie..." "Yes, jervis?" "if that's true, why is there a horse in the front lot?" "That's what I was going to ask you." "...hmmm"

Jonathan coming in "just came in here to say...It's no longer in the front lot" Jervis suddenly distressed "MY HORSE!" Edward pinching the bridge of his nose "It's not even your horse, YOU STOLE IT, WHO CARES?!"

[petite-ursus]

Some thoughts as I do my fortifying relisten to Alanna's series...

One... I'd love to know who Jonathon chooses for the next Voice of the Tribes... Namely, will he hand the mantle back over to the Bazhir at the end of his long life? Will he feel that's enough time to blend the two people? Will he feel comfortable giving up that (lets be real) power? Or will he give the position to his own heir (which is to say, let his heir attempt to undergo the rite which transfers the power), or let a marriage between one of his children and Bazhir help continue the melding and return the position to an actual Bazhir? I can see it going either way...

Then two... If we ever got more books/shorts (totally fine if we never do, we have so much, but if we DID) I'd like to see more of Coram and Rispah. I know she's the queen of the ladies of the rogue, but by the time George and Alanna have settled in Pirate's Swoop and have had their three children you'd think she'd have made a similar move to her cousin and stepped back from rogue work.

(A pause and a google later)

So Word of God, Coram and Rispah take over Trebond, and have TEN children (with absolutely deranged names (complimentary,)) one of the girls is in the queens ladies and some of the boys are going for knighthood or in the army etc. Apparently they're mentioned in A Spy's Guide in a section about the Immortals War, so I should go reread that.. Ok. I digress.

I'd have liked to see older Rispah and Coram!! And I'd have liked to see the kids! I loved getting a glimpse of Maude in Daine's series, and I understand Coram, Rispah and their children would be primarily in Trebond, which is in a remote mountainous location but, even though I understand the boys could have undermined the overall theme and plot of Keladry's series if they were all goodies like Neal... they could also have been used to underscore that even when raised in a progressive household, young men aren't always the staunch allies you'd hope for. Several of them was literally in different parts of the military during the Scanran war? (word of god.) (Though it also is fair that there might be people who WOULD support you in an antagonistic environment, but happenstance never puts you in the same room as them.)

Idk. I'm just on The Woman Who Rides Like a Man, and Coram and Rispah are so cute together. I bet their kids were so fun. Like Alanna's children, that mixture of soldier and rogue. Imagine the family gatherings of Alanna and George's three and those other ten... the chaos when the cousins all got together.. There are so many of them and they could easily be all over the place in different positions... and we barely get a taste.

[im-out-of-it]

part 5 of season 2, episode 17 continued “a dark reflection” I’ll try to go easy on Alec this time

incoming rant about jace again I CANT HELP IT HES THE WORST the fact that I tolerate jonathon and Sebastian more than jace says everything about his character lmao

77. HOW CUTE

78. my favorite thing for when I read and watch shows/movies with a couple is to see them be domestic. I think it’s the sweetest small stuff that matters the most at times

79. I’m sorry I had to. Alec:

80. Magnus is me. my favorite seafood is crab legs and if I was Magnus rich, I would go all out (can’t believe we missed out on Magnus feeding Alec, just found about this thank you 🥺🥹)

81. Alec has come so far

82. I love them here and I honestly think this might be Magnus’s best look tying with episode 4 of season 1

83. Maia and Luke scenes 🥰

84. Luke: good luck, you’ll need it

85. Simons like no I’m good 😊

86. Simon: let’s go on a date

86. can we just please and at least appreciate simons effort? he doesn’t know about Jordan and neither do first time watchers or readers but 1. Maia doesn’t want to be hurt badly like she was in the past and 2. which I don’t see mentioned is that she tried dating Simon and saw that he was interested in clary. so yes she is holding off because of her piece of shit ex boyfriend but Simon and clary JUST broke up so she could be hesitant of that. maybe the writers didn’t think that far but if I tried dating someone and they were having feelings for someone else, then they didn’t work out, and then a few days later were asking me out, I would feel pretty hesitant

OKAY BUT LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE (anyone love Simon and Maia together??????)

87. Maia: let’s be friends instead I don’t want to get hurt

88. she is always so beautiful!!!!! 😌

89. I spoke too soon. Maia said it’s not clary. should have hired me to be the head writer I HAVE GRAND IDEAS

90. how did a regular shadowhunter have the almost mortal mirror PLUS the mortal cup???? they all said Jocelyn was the best but I’m sorry, how could she get away with that when Izzy practically gets threatened with being deruned for a cup she didn’t have. how did the clave not find Jocelyn or know she had the cup???? it’s like they wanted Jocelyn to be this super powerful figure but I don’t see it

91. Jonathon did his best and that’s all you can ask for

92. Clary: I guess my mom is super powerful and untouchable?????

93. so now clary remembers that jonathon is a flower killer but conveniently forgot when jace was thought to be her brother? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

94. “you’ll kill him?” “if that’s what it takes” jace slow your roll already

95. “I know what it’s like to be manipulated by valentine and jonathon is a demon blooded monster”-jace. this dude gives me a migraine. because it was okay when he was thought to be jonathon but now it’s an issue when the real jonathon stands up? I’m sorry but does anyone else see his hypocrisy here???? not excusing jonathon and who he is but why is it that everyone was fine with jace being “demonic” but it’s the opposite for the actual jonathon????? literally jace can commit mass murder and be fine and everyone would excuse his actions

96. “remember what Valentine made you do” “I don’t have demon blood” BUT YOU FUCKING THOUGHT YOU DID. YOU STILL HELPED MASSACRE DOWNWORLDERS BUT THATS ALRIGHT ISNT IT?????? it aggravates me how he never faces any punishment

97. clary: keep your hands off my brother until he kills you then he will be dead to me because you’re the only thing I care about that’s just how I work

why couldn’t she remember this detail when they all thought jace could destroy the soul sword????

98. forgot to add this

99. it is kind of funny how clary is all save jonathon for a second and then once he lays hands on jace, she’s like ewwww omg demon demon demon

okay but let’s just compare jonathon and jace. they both aid valentine and easily fall for his games

jonathon doesn’t help murder hundreds of downworlders but jonathon is still a murderer and he accepts everything he is. he still takes on revenge later when he fully comes back

they both come back from the dead while jonathon feels betrayed by clary and wants revenge and jace takes advantage of Magnus’s kindness and tries to die as if Magnus didn’t just sacrifice everything

while jace acts like he’s better than everyone and hardly has remorse for helping valentine kill hundreds of downworlders and uses excuses like I was manipulated

Jonathan has feelings for clary knowing that’s his sister

Jace doesn’t try to get rid of his feelings for clary while thinking that’s his sister

Jace doesn’t appreciate Alec Izzy Magnus etc while jonathon uses everyone

they both have anger issues and retaliate with violence. Jace cutting off hodge’s hand and jonathon killing people he no longer has use for

I’m only saying they have a lot of similarities and in the books (and a little on the show) jace is extremely abusive to clary. it’s always what jace needs in the books. their whole relationship is toxic. so as much as I see jonathon being evil in the show, jace is not a good person either. he just acts like he is

I can’t believe how much this is making me defend Jonathan lmao but it doesn’t make sense to why jace gets away with everything while everyone else has to pay the price. I need Advil now thanks to this 😭 I’ll attempt a part 6 but it may have to wait a few more hours

[aphroditeslover11]

I’ll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed

Jonathon Crane x Reader

Sorry, this took me a while and it's pretty out of character but it was fun to write. I usually write in second person but did this for a change. It's based on another 'Love Actually' quote as well, because why not?!

Requests are still open so please ask. I do a lot of music related stuff, so the Christmas season is manic but the bulk of my work is over now, so I should be able to get back to writing now!

Love you all, thanks for reading and please interact! 💜

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, talk of divorce, age gap, cheesy fluff

There had always been something about Jonathon Crane. He was my dad’s best friend, a psychopharmacologist that worked closely with him. When I was younger he had been my first port of call whenever I needed advice, I had stayed with him when my parents were going through a messy divorce and he had always been a shoulder to cry on. When he realised the true extent of my problems he had offered me counselling and when I refused because I didn’t want my parents to find out he had offered it to me for free. There was very little left about me that I didn’t know. In turn, he had told me a lot about himself - the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father and stories about the time that he spent working at the asylum. 

Everything changed when the divorce was over though. I went to lie with my mum full time and never saw him anymore, I texted him a lot to start with but my need to communicate diminished the longer we were apart. Then I hit the age of 18 and finished my exams, passing with flying colours and choosing to go and study at university. I turned 19 the autumn that I moved away and everything finally felt as if it was in the past. My parents were no longer as big a part of my life as they once had been, therefore neither was Jonathon.

It was the first December since I had left my mum’s house, I had decided that I was going to spend Christmas with my dad - just a quiet one the pair of after I hadn’t seen him for so long. I had left halls earlier in the month and returned home. I didn’t have a job here or anything so I had to spend the lead-up to Christmas in the house on my own whilst my dad was still working. It was three days before Christmas and I had gone out to do the massive food shop that always comes with the season, I was just unpacking the bags when there was a knock on the door. I thought it was probably somebody delivering a parcel, but was happily surprised when I opened it to find Crane. From the look on his face he was feeling the same.

“Jonathon, my god, I haven’t seen you in years. How are you?” I moved to allow him to come inside.

“I’m not too bad, how about you? My god you look so different now.” It was then that I spotted a gash on the side of his face, grooving across his perfect cheekbone.

“What happened, are you alright?” He looked bemused for a moment before reaching a hand to his face, there was blood still on it when he took it away.

“Oh, that… It was one of the patients at Arkham, had a break when I was in a room along with him. I’m fine, honestly.”

“At least let me get you something to patch it up with. You’re bleeding.” He looked a little awkward, only agreeing when he realised that I was worried about him. He probably hated the idea of upsetting me after everything we had discussed over the weekend.

A few minutes later I had found him a plaster, putting the kettle on for a cup of tea and sitting down at the kitchen table to catch up. He was interested in my studies, very apologetic about the divorce and assured you that if I needed anything whilst I was in town he was just a call away. I found out that he had moved up in the world, now the psychology lead at Arkham and lecturing part time at the university as well. He had left not too long later, but only after I had asked him to come over on Christmas Eve for dinner. It would be like old time, spending an evening with him and my Dad, probably watching die hard and laughing at them when they drank a glass too many of scotch. 

~

Christmas Eve arrived, and with it came a small disaster. My dad had been called away for work urgently and was going to be away over Christmas, meaning that I was left to spend it alone. The dinner had been cancelled and with it all of my company for the festive season. I wasn’t planning on celebrating now, moping around and making a ready meal before settling down to watch ‘The Holiday’ with a glass of wine. I had just made myself comfortable when there was a knock on the door. “For fuck’s sake,” I thought, “I just want to get this bloody depressing evening over with.”

I answered the door, with a scowl, only to find my spurned dinner guest behind it.

“Jonathon, I thought I told you that Dad was away over Christmas, I cancelled dinner and everything.”

“I got your message. I was going to be alone for Christmas Eve as well, so I figured that we could be alone together, or something like that. Don’t worry about dinner, I’ve booked a place. I want this evening to be easy for you, just relax, God knows that you deserve after the last few years.” 

It was then that I realised he was wearing a suit - a nicely tailored navy blue rather than the somewhat stuffy ones that he wore for work. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers, which he seemed to have forgotten.

“Jon, you brought me flowers?” He thrust them forwards then. “White roses, my…”

“…Your favourite.” He awkwardly interrupted, finishing my sentence. I gestured him inside, going to put the flowers in a vase.

“I’ll go and get ready then, make yourself at home and I’ll be as fast as I can.”

~

Half an hour later I was down the stair in a black dress and heels, hair haphazardly pinned up in a tumble of curls and makeup done. Jonathon emerged from the lounge, taking his coat off the peg and getting ready to go.

“Shall we then, the restaurant isn’t far so I thought we could walk.”

He was right, it wasn’t far at all and we were soon seated at a table. This place was more expensive than I was used to and we were half way through the main when I mentioned it.

“I’m not sure I can half this bill with you Jon, I’m a broke student.” He just chuckled good-naturedly in response.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me. It’s Christmas and I thought it would be a nice treat for both of us.”

“You sure?”

“I’m positive, since the new job I’ve been making a little more than I can spend on myself without feeling guilty.”

“How’s it going? Do you enjoy working at Arkham? And you lecture as well, right?” He hesitated before responding.

“I like my work at the asylum, it’s fascinating and there is such a rich body of patients to observe. Lecturing I don’t like quite so much, my students are a pain, none of them actually seem interested in the subject. If an assignment is handed in on time it’s a novelty for me. How are you finding university?”

“I can’t say I’m loving it, I haven’t made many friends really and the lecturers are a bit dull. I just wish that there was someone there I knew, that I could talk to.”

“Give it a bit more time, but if things aren’t working out you could always transfer to Gotham. It’s not the safest place in the world, or cheap, but the university is good. I can put a word in if you like, you can even stay with me for a while, give you a chance to get on your feet.”

“That’s really kind of you Jon, I’ll definitely think about it.”

At the end of the evening Jonathon paid as he had promised, refusing to even let me see the bill. When we stood from our seats he held out his coat to me, helping me to slip my arms through the too-long sleeves.

“Here, you’ll need it more than me.”

“Are you sure you won’t be cold.”

“I’ll be fine.” He proffered an arm to me as well, which he didn’t on the way there. He could tell I wasn’t used to this sort of treatment, but he had become more instinctually protective as the evening went on and couldn’t help himself.

“You’ve had a few glasses of wine, I want to make sure that you’re steady. Can’t have you falling on the way back.” I slipped my hand through the crook of his left elbow, automatically bringing me closer to his warm body. 

“You know, you are so much more grown up than when I last met you. You were a girl when you left and came back a well-rounded, compassionate woman. You should be proud of yourself for how you’ve turned out.”

“Well, you haven’t changed at all Dr Crane. Always were and still are wonderful to me.”

The little exchanged stopped shortly after that and we carried on the walk in comfortable silence. A small amount of snow had started to dust the ground, starting to visibly settle just as we reached the front door.  I stopped to retrieve the key out of my bag and fumbled with the lock before Jon put his hand on mine, stopping me. He looked up, signalling me to do the same. Above us a single sprig of mistletoe was hung on the doorframe.

“It would be a shame to waste the opportunity, don’t you think?”

“Are you sure? I mean, it isn’t that I don’t want to, but you’re my dad’s best friend. Are you sure it isn’t wrong?”

“Well, I want to kiss you and you want to be kissed, what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing I suppose.”

“Well then, I’ll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.”

With that I reached up to him, bringing my lips to his in a passionate yet gentle kiss as he engulfed me in his arms. At that moment I could tell that, despite what I had originally thought, this was going to be a truly magical Christmas.

[crayonboxcolors607]

Steve didn't mean for anyone to find out.

Looking back, the ringing had started before Starcourt, before Billy even. He'd attributed the fuzziness to the recently acquired concussion he'd received from Jonathon, holy shit that guy could punch. Except it didn't go away. It stayed with him like a fucked up reminder of the asshole persona he'd worked so hard to shed.

And even after he came to terms with it, after he realized there was nothing to do about it, nobody seemed to notice. His constant asking of "Huh? and "What?" and when he was in school, "Could you repeat that please?" was chalked up to his airheaded jockiness.

He learned how to focus on people's lips when they spoke, how to not let it get under his skin when Nancy teased him about it, called him stupid, and then later, bullshit.

Billy's gruesome attack had admittedly made it much worse, had transferred the ringing from just the left side of his head to both, but still, nobody noticed. He struggled through the remainder of his senior year and failed to get accepted to any college he applied to. He let his father force him into a job, tell him that he wasn't worth a place in the family company, that he deserved to work minimum wage like the degreeless scum he was sure to be for the rest of his life.

He'd rolled his eyes and pretended to be snarky when Robin insulted him, her tongue moving so fast that he knew there was no chance he would've been able to understand even if he could hear perfectly. When he tried and failed to flirt with the girls that came into the Scoops Ahoy, he let her keep track of his failures on the board instead of writing the daily specials like she was supposed to.

He hid behind laughter as the kids in The Party teased him, told him "This is why you didn't go to college!", called him stupid when he didn't hear the setup for a joke, when Dustin became frustrated because he'd focused on the background music in the Russian transmission; the only part he didn't have to struggle to detect the sounds of.

God, the Russians.

It was as if he was underwater after that. The words were bubbly and distant, but still, he could understand them, sort of. He made an effort to get face-to-face with Robin in the bathroom, did his best to not make his staring at her lips too obvious as she confessed, and threw out a joke when he realized she was genuinely afraid that he would hate her.

He'd watched the other Party members so he could figure out what he was supposed to be doing, having given up trying to understand whatever instructions Dustin and Nancy were prattling out. He tagged along with Robin as Dustin and Erica rushed up the hill to guide Hopper, Murray, and Joyce throughout the Russian base using Cerebro, replying to her concerned “Are you okay dingus?” with an “I’m fine,” that he couldn’t even really hear.

He did his best to help out, feeling a twinge of accomplishment when he insisted that he and Robin go check out what the fuck was going on with Starcourt’s lights, although it was quickly drowned out by the worry for the children he’d come to adopt as his own.

Even as he and Robin got in the car though, he couldn’t ignore the little voice in the back of his head that snarked “Is that really all you’re good for now that you can’t hear? Noticing the lights?”, responding to it with an inner denial he didn’t even remember having.

He thought hard as he and Robin drove as fast as they could back to Starcourt, his mind racing. “You could maybe even live like this,” he told himself as he gripped the steering wheel.

Then he saw Billy’s Camaro speeding towards Nancy, saw her failed attempts at derailing him with bullets.

And he didn’t even think before flooring the gas pedal, pressing his and Robin’s backs into their seats as he crashed, head on, full speed, into Billy’s car. His head ricocheted off the steering wheel, back into the headrest of his seat.

Then the fuzzy underwater noises in his ears gave way to metallic ringing, and everything went dark.

His memories are murky and vague after that, flashes of clarity amidst all the chaos. Throwing lit packages of fireworks; the panic that grew in his chest when Billy brought El towards the Mindflayer; not being able to hear Billy and Max's screams well enough; the bile that rose in his throat when he learned that Hopper had been lost to the Upside-Down.

He remembers Robin screaming when a paramedic tried to pry the two of them apart, shaking her head and repeating, "No, no, no. I need to stay with him," as she'd cried. How El crumpled to the ground when she realized that her father was gone.

He doesn't remember how he made it through the physical exam from the ambulance staff without someone picking up on it, doesn't remember what they'd told him about his injuries.

He remembers peeling off his grimy uniform with Robin, trying to take turns in the shower, and eventually resorting to washing the other's hair in the bathroom sink because they couldn't reach up high enough to do it themself. How Robin had tried for days afterward to scrub the blood and sweat and ash out of their uniforms, breaking down in tears when Steve grabbed her hands and held her when she beat his chest as she cried.

He doesn't remember how Robin first figured it out, just knows that one day they were sitting on the floor of his barren room sifting through tapes, and she'd maneuvered the record player off his desk. How she'd looked utterly affronted when he asked her what the fuck she was doing, responding with an incredulous, "Because it's on your left, and you can't hear out of that ear, dingus," as if it was obvious. How she later explained to him that her father was deaf, that she knew sign language alongside Spanish, French, and Italian.

He remembers how she'd searched through Hawkins Library, and eventually taken a day trip to Indianapolis with him so they could find books to teach him American Sign Language. How giddy she had been when he signed his first sentence to her, how she'd said it felt like the secret code but without the malintent.

He remembers how Robin had eventually dragged him out to an audiologist in Indy, rationalizing the cost with his parent's money, and how they learned that he was 100% deaf in his left ear and had 30% hearing loss in his right. How he'd been given a set of hearing aids that he'd promptly put in a drawer and purposely ignored.

And yeah, the world was weird, and Steve couldn't really hear it, and there was really only one person with which he could actually communicate and understand.

But he would survive because he always did. Because he had to. He was Steve Harrington, for fuck's sake. It was his job to take care of other people.

So yeah, nobody was supposed to find out.

But Steve is fucking grateful that Robin did.

did i write this at 11pm instead of doing work? perhaps. will i probably fail several classes because of this current hyperfixation? most likely. do i care? not really, no.

im probably gonna write another one of these if this lands well (and also if it doesnt cuz thats what the brain worms want) so lemme know what you think

next one will probably be about dustin and/or the older members of the party (nancy, jonathan, etc)