#joking i love you all but my brain still cant process what the fuck i just watched

[thursdaymorningchild]

Welcome to another week of..... Why the fuck are you looking at each other like that if you're not gonna fuck?! Feauturing a bonus side of PAIN

In the words of my beloved Old Maniel:

[greml1nb0i]

THE HAZBIN LEAKS SHOW THAT S2 WILL ONLY GET WORSE: Characters

OK so my first gripe,

Emily's song is ear bleedingly annoying. Idk who her VA is but omg, idk if she's tone deaf or if they just have her mouth directly into the mic but my gods woman. STEP BACK you are assaulting my brain with these nonstop high sopranos.

Also the literal shot of Sir P trying to kill himself cuz of how either how annoying Emily is being or the fact he misses his friend, regardless it was a WILD fucking scene to show. Suicide isn't off the table for Viv's jokes, i guess.

Speaking of Sir P, his reason for being in Hell is so fucking stupid.

How tf is being scared of Jack The Ripper a sin?! His sin is just being scared of being murdered if he spoke out.

THAT'S JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR, WHAT?!

I hate to break it to you Viv, but not everyone is going to act like a macho hero when they see a damned murder!! Most people fucking run and hide! Why? CUZ THEY DONT WANNA DIE! They don't want to be targeted if shit goes south.

Also what is the thought process here in making his sin being just "cowardice"?? Viv are you trying to say that people who have most def been in Sir P's shoes, [witnessing a murder] are cowards that deserve to go to hell?? What's the motive here? Am i missing something?? Is being too afraid to be murdered, a sin??

Also apparently he was sent to Heaven for "saving Cherri Bomb"

save her from what?

Last i checked, in the final ep; he just kisses her as she's about to through a bomb and then says "i love you, remember me" only to have one of the most anti climatic "deaths" in the show. She wasnt even being attacked or threatened in anyway. So where tf does the plot point of "i saved her" come in??

Also can we talk about these fuck-ass human designs for Sir P and Alastor??

I don't mind Sir P's as much as i hate Alastor's. Its the fact Viv doesnt know wtf she's doing when she makes these designs.

Sir P just looks like a generic guy. One look at him and you cannot tell what time period he's from, same goes for Alastor. They could easily be frickin neighbors in the early or late 90s but no, they're supposedly from different timelines.

Alastor iirc is from the 1940-50s, and Sir P is from the 1800s, [Jack the rippers final kill was 1863-1888]

Why, Viv, cant you do any research for the time periods YOUR characters come from??

Why do they both look like cartoon barbers; not a radio show host and not a genius inventor?? Like did you even look at the differences in fashion and culture for any of these characters?!

Men fashion from the late 1800s looked like this:

This is [white] Men's fashion in the 1940-1950s:

See Viv, their fashion styles are different and shouldn't look the same at all. Why does every character have pinstripes, if it doesnt even reflect that time period in an authentic way??

And to add a cherry on top, this is what African American men would wear in Alastor's time period:

Do you see the difference in styles Viv?

Black men were not given the same nice everyday casual wear that white men did. They often wore hand-me-downs or had to work their asses off to just afford 1 nice looking suit.

you wanna know why?? Cuz Viv, the Jim Crow laws were still in full affect til the late 60s and early 70s. They were not seen as people, black men and women were still heavily discriminated against and were even still being victims of-

[MAJOR TW FOR RACISIT STUFF]

lynching's. Alastor would feel lucky, he only got mistaken for a deer and shot; he could have, and probably did, go through much much worse in his actually living life.

Tell me you didn't do any research for your characters without telling me you didn't do any research for your characters.

TLDR; So not only is Viv using more gross jokes in her next season, but the character designs have gotten even worse.

Lmk what you want the next topic to be about, if i missed anything you would've liked mentioned here, lmk in comments or asks and i'll reply. I reply to everyone as long as you arent being a jerk.

EDIT:

I've been made away that Alastor didn't in fact live in the 1940s and 50s but the 1930s. i will say most of my points still stand, but here the men's fashion for his time period.

also that makes his radio show even more of an impossible achievement, in the 1930s majority, if not, half of the black men in America were out of work cuz of racism, discrimination and segregation, ya know, cuz the Jim Crow. White people called for African Americans to be fired from any jobs as long as there were whites out of work. Racial violence again became more common, especially in the South.

Tell me again Viv, how tf did Alastor even thrive??

[meevuis]

You are the main (and maybe even only) Chaotic Duo (PlatyChaos) blog I see in my travels through Tumblr, so I wanted to ask: do you have any headcanons of your own? Maybe some writing prompts? I don't see those in this fandom much.

Would love to check out your fanfiction should you decide to start writing after all.

I am BEGGING for any other PlatyChaos enjoyers to hit me up because I'm pretty sure my friends are getting sick of my ramblings about them lmao

First and foremost I ADORE their friendship and how much they care for each other, they have one of the nicest friendships I've ever seen, AND I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BUT I couldn't help myself but ship them 👉👈

AS FOR HEADCANONS, I mostly end up just rotating them in my head but I do have a few because I cant help myself:

Platy 100% fell for Chilled first. He started crushing on him fast and hard. It probably hit him like a ton of bricks one day in the middle of a stream and he hasn't recovered since

Thus, Platy is the one that flirts constantly because its much easier to jokingly flirt with your best friend than to actually tell him - am I right?

Chilled is SUPER oblivious to this but he still flirts back because he thinks its just a joke and it like hurts Platy so fucking much but its fine its fine its fine

Like I genuinely think other people figure it out before Chilled does, like Courtilly or Jeremy or someone idk

Chilled falling for Platy I think is a much slower process, a much more gradual realization - maybe not even a full realization until Platy's feelings are kinda shoved in his face

LISTEN I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE THE IDEA OF AN ACCIDENTAL CONFESSION MORE OR NOT BUT AHHHHHH

What do they do once they do get together? Platy forces Chilled to eat SO many fruits ofc /hj /hj

No but their relationship hardly changes too much I don't think, like they're still best friends... they just sometimes make out from time to time now :)

Also the flirting from Platy goes up 3000%, and its either tooth rotting sweetness or the dirtiest words you've EVER heard come from a man's mouth

I have other's but this is getting long and took me like 6 hours to write between school and getting distracted watching the VODs/Platy's Streams. I'm still brain storming writing prompts myself for some possible fanfics so 🤞we will see

[mizuta]

far from it to be my style to post about hashtag mental health issues on main but like. look. ive& been psychotic as far back as i can tangibly remember (hallucinating at 10-11, cognitive symptoms and episodes by 13-14). its been a part of my life so long that like... in a lot of ways im used to it and coping with symptoms and my life grew around a lot of the symptoms. like a tree trunk growing around a foreign object as a sapling. something that pierces directly through the middle but doesnt really impact the trees ability to stay alive in any meaningful way.

so like in a lot of ways im used to being in my own head. my partner is good at recognizing that things that are distressing to me in episodes dont process whatsoever as distressing to me a good chunk of the time. when im acting visibly distressed it actually means my level of distress is at like, 200%. its fucking unmanageable. if im visibly distressed its worse than anyone could conceptualize because typically otherwise im just numb to a lot of it or its just default my reality that its not distressing in any meaningful way until after the fact.

but like im ngl just because ive spent all of my teenage years upwards trying to take up literally the least space possible to exist and never show 80% of my "unacceptable" symptoms to 99% of people does not mean it makes it any less uncomfortable or awkward to like. be the token psychotic in some groups. to have to be the buzzkill and shit thats like hey sorry heres my hyperspecific request of the year because im fucking insane.

its miserable in a fresh new way of like sorry to have to remind everyone that its not actually a funny character quirk or joke my brain literally does not exist in your 'reality' in any meaningful way and the further outside of it i am on a given day the more unpleasant youre going to find me to be around. ignoring the insane person talking aimlessly in public doesnt actually help me it usually just reinforces that youre not real and never will be if its a bad enough day.

its never intentional. like nobody is ever doing this on purpose. especially again because i spent so much of my life being very good at hiding it. but like... it sucks so much to be masking half the time and be a little too good at it so when you stop being able to people are always levels of uncomfortable or upset. it sucks when you cant articulate anything properly and nobody really knows how to understand what youre asking for. it sucks when you have multiple severe memory conditions and cant trust your own memory and everyone immediately questions your memory when you ask for anything or point anything out. like of course im just going to fucking fold.

i dont know where im going with this or if this itself is even that coherent i know it sounds super vague but it really isnt about anyone specific im just babbling about like years worth of garbage. i got so fucked over by fakeclaiming culture because unfortunately when i started really displaying symptoms i was a teenager trying not to kill himself and being fucking insane loudly in virtual public when that was apparently an "obvious sign of exaggerating" so i had to learn to shut the fuck up and now everybody loves to forget how much im fucking unwell because god forbid you think too hard about what youre saying around others.

thank god for my partner who is literally the first person in my entire life whos ever tried to understand and genuinely knows how to talk to me when im in a particularly bad delusion or hallucinating or whatever.

man. im tired. i found out this last month i probably need to get a cane when i move out and i still feel like im going to be appropriating shit because severe knee and upper leg paint and severe balance problems cant be that bad. i hate having memory problems so bad that i so easily can be told that i dont know shit and Y is actually what happened and i usually cant actually argue against it even if im so sure thats not true.

[keysimash]

Hello!!

I do not want to be bothering or rude, I am just curious if you’ve had time or energy to continue Leave, I still love the story so much and am looking forward to find out how it goes!!

But if not it’s ok, I just hope you have a nice day no matter what!! <3

Short answer , it's not discontinued but idk when I will work on it again. Sorry to be a disappointment

Long answer you probably dont want to read

I hate it. I can't even read it. I like my story, I like the plans I HAVE for the story, I just.... cant read my own writing. And this isn't some kind of compliment fishing either, it's gotten to the point I dont even like getting nice comments about it on my ao3 inbox anymore.

I sit down to work on it and I just... can't. All I can think about is how cringy it sounds ... and how bad it is, etc etc

Logically I know I'm actually a pretty good writer. But all I see when I look at this shit is mistakes.

And I come across in my writing as... way too emotional and earnest? If that makes any sense. I've mentioned I never made a plot outline, that shit is sooo obvious when i read it. And how I changed the plot three or four times. And how I changed the plot every time I got upset.

I used to not give a fuck about appealing to other people when I wrote because I didnt have anyone whose opinion I cared about reading it but now I feel like I have to write it not shittily or I'll disappoint everyone and myself. And I'm not capable of writing it not shittily right now because I would

a) have to build off the disjointed skeleton I've already made that's got plot holes and mischaracterizations

b) start over from scratch

And I can't do it right now! I cant!

I keep thinking about how my best friend told me I shouldn't put vent art on the internet at all. I feel disgusting now almost. Like people that take pics of their cuts and post em. I know shes full of shit but I cant shake the feeling. That it's my fault if I trigger somebody. That by writing anything that isnt a joke or fluff I'm doing something gross and self-masturbatory and harmful. "If you interpret the characters in a way the author didnt want you're just wrong..." that's what she said.. Its kirby and Meta knight and magolor for gods sake. What am I doing trying to make a gritty realistic darkfic... from a kids game.... cringe.... (only me tho. Nobody else counts)

Even my other works for other fandoms, it almost feels like they're on a timer as soon as I post them. I go "I like that, that's good" and post, and then a few days later I'm like "oh . That's shit now" and it has nothing to do with engagement or anything, its just like an arbitrary switch flipped in my brain

The only time I was writing well and writing consistently... was when I was being abused... I feel like I've lost my spark ... because maybe the only time I can make anything good is when I'm under so much emotional pressure I feel like I'm about to snap.... but if that were true I should be writing right now haha.

And I can sit here and know all these things, that when I'm stressed my thought process goes all stupid, that I'm actually a good writer, that I'm not hurting anybody by the fic I post, that writing something shit is better than not writing anything at all, but it doesn't do anything to change how I feel.

But. I did say it's not discontinued, didnt I?

If its stressing me out so much well why dont I delete it, well the answer to that is I HATE HATE HATE when authors delete their good shit.... deep down I know a lot of people love my stories and that they have some worth... that's why I haven't deleted them all...

I love writing, still.... writing for cotl feels less bad than kirby cos.. it feels like its expected to be edgy and dark, so I dont feel bad about what I write until later at least... but I still love to write and create....

I just need some time... I miss writing kirby stuff but I just can't face my own writing. I cant face myself. And it order to start writing again -- I think that's my problem. I would have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I would have to admit that , like my writing , its okay to love myself/my writing even with the manymanymany .flaws.

I can't. Not right now. Maybe later tho

I didnt have that last revelation before. Not until I wrote everything out. When I was trying to explain all my feelings to someone else , I ended up explaining it to myself. This post was long overdue anyway

Sorry

[qualityrain]

ive heard of honkai impact but i never really got a look at the actual game itself whats your favorite guy like??? how do they work with the plot?? love you bye<3

there is sO much to say and absolutely nothing at the same time

this isnt going to be coherent at all

whats your favorite guy like???

this is going to be very inaccurate because at this point i cant tell what is canon or not + rlly disorganised

tbh. like a generic emo guy. a family guy. ride or die. his love language is dying for you. actually really chill??? and like kind of straightforward (at least to one of the main characters in the game. whether it is for plot or an actual character trait nobody knows) shows no emotion whatsoever(never explained). will kind of crack jokes. highly efficient, won’t do more things than necessary(this is definitely canon). hasnt slept well in like 10 years (vibe). takes promises really seriously. the i owe you and i WILL pay you back guy. he’s an older brother. has STRONG annoying little brother energy with another character that is literally my favourite dynamic in this entire game with 5mins of screentime together. a piece of shit. will talk stupid shit to lighten up the situation. he will do anything for his goals(probably). this guy definitely has trauma and mhy wont ever address it and he’s repressing it like crazy. like has this dude ever processed the whole i almost fucking died and everybody i love is dead thing properly yet. i could tell you his height but not his birthday. its 173cm. i refuse to believe he’s taller than 170cm. there’s probably more but i don’t know what else to say. this guy’s barely a character in the game, there’s absolutely no depth at all. all i have are vibes and my brain ran with it and now this guy has been in my head for 2 years now.

how do they work with the plot??

short answer: they don’t.

long answer: his role in the plot is to parallel another main character(mei) and it is done so so so soooooooo poorly. he appears in one (1) arc in the game and appears in 2 chapters and its imo the worst arc in the entire game and its almost irrelevant and every new chapter that gets added makes me wish more and more that this arc doesn’t exist. I genuinely do not know why this parallel needed to exist like. why? why do we need this parallel to see the main characters with an outside perspective?? there’s probably a reason its just this arc is terrible. they couldnt even get meis arc right in this arc like its sO BAD.

mei has this whole ass scene where she just accepts having to kill this guy!! my fave!! the blorbo!! shes like oh i cant hesitate anymore i have to do this for my girlfriend(basically)!!! AND THEN SHE HESITATES AGAIN AND DOESNT KILL HIM AND IM SO SO UPSET AND ANGRY BECAUSE WHATS THE POINT. she has this whole moral dilemma of ohh noo if i kill this guy its like im a hypocrite or smth cos im doing the same as this guy but i gotta to protect somebody i care about!! for this arc and then SHE DOESNT KILL HIM. he dies another way!!! resolving to kill somebody is not the same as actually doing it!! im so upset abt this because its so. whats the point of the whole scene where mei literally collects herself to strengthen her resolve to not hesitate and kill this guy and shes like oop i guess i wont!

im going to be real i try to forget as much as i can from this arc because i hate it and its probably all wrong and inaccurate but i still hate it to bits and i wish mhy wasnt scared to make mei commit murder

this isnt proof read at all this is a word vomit ive spent over half an hour on this and 3 days thinking abt this. there are definitely things i wanted to add and forgot almost immediately.

thanks for the ask!! 🫶🫶🫶

[jamieontheroof]

Testimant (117) -Another jon statement!! “No, im done with that. No more paranoia” - “im making a decision, im trust them, all of them.” JFDSH YESYESEYSYESYESYES FINALLY - oo a basira statement - melanieee, im scared shes going to (try to) kill elias - eyy martinnn “i need them to be safe, i need him to be okay..” and ‘him’ iss??? ‘No jon, its an expression, chill out’ 💀💀 “ oh and i hope the world doesnt end,” - “just dont die jon.. Or tim or bisera or daisy.. I guess” your not even hiding it anymore jesus - mr stokerrrr i liked nice tim, joking tim. It felt safer - gerad, gerry’s page is still okay, jon you promised :( oh no crackle audio

The Masquarde (118) -Wait what, the statement started and the ended?? Oh nvm hes burning them i think - “sorry elias, i cant hear you, theres a door in the way” - where did the tape recorder come from?? - what was that sound in the background “on three(3).. three(3).” - i swear to god if elias hurts my boy im going to fidahjsai NOOO HES CRYING I SWEAR I HATE ELIAS SO MUCH SDUFHJABI MY BOYYY NOOO he is so mature i love martin - WHAT WAS THAT IS DAISY OKAY?? ?WHASTTT

Stranger and Stranger (119) & Eye Contact (120) - I hate the circus music - what is happening?? Sorryy?? Has that thing like brainwashed jon?? Uhh what did daisy just kill one of those things?? Omg omg so much happened, tim blew everything up, now tim and daisy are dead (i am in so much shock i dont know what to feel), jon’s heart and lungs arent working but his brain and nerves are (idk how thats possible, probably just beholder magic), martin distracted elias enough so that meladie could go and get evidence for elias’s arrest. THAT WAS ONE FUCKING EPISODE IDHAGYU WHAT THE FUCK?? aHem, a lot of jon’s dreams seem to be statements that we have heard. Oh also martin got elias arrested “i’ll be keeping an eye on you..” STFU MAN OADJS (i'll admit i liked the puns) also FUCKING PETER LUKAS IS NOW THE HEAD OF MAGNUS?? WHAT??? Look id absolutely love to hate him and i know i will later but with the way he was like “you can all get paid leave because those of you who survived are going to be #traumatised. If you need a therapist, because lets be real, you all do, the institute will pay for one. Also elias told me that your queer and in love with jon” 💀

I just dont know how to process that, any of that.

The Magnus Archives S3 (81-120) reaction

I’m not ready for this but here we go

-A Guest For Mr. Spider (81)

Former head archivist? Was he fired? Did he quit?

Oooo jon backstoryyy - The Eye = Beholding = the one that ‘claimed’ jon - HE WAS A CHILD IN THE 90’S(that would make him in his what? Late 20’s? Early 30’s?)??? AND HES AN ORPHAN??? OH MY GOD 

awww hes a book worm AND HES LIKE ME “lingering on pages that caught my imagination” 

No no not spiders again - omg this show - i heard ‘eight(8) eyes’ and immediately thought of lore implications 💀

‘Mr. Spider doesn’t like it.’ Thanks, I hate it.

Hold on does he memorise every aspect of this book or did he find it because jesus

I actually hate the description of the book. Like no thank you. Goodbye. Please stop. This might be my least favourite episode (I’m kidding its spectacularly scary). 

Uhhhhh no way the spider is in the house OMG OGM OMG OMG NONONO EWW I HATE THIS - 

once again, ‘statement ends.’ *statement doesn’t end* also I wonder if the supplements will be in the 3rd season. 

Jons going to ask for help this time!! Yes!!! 

Uhh is he staying at someones house?? I cant tell whose voice it is but they seem to have a nice relationship - oh its the ghost podcast lady, goergie

No supplement in this one. 

[blushblushheadcanons]

Hi, I saw you headcannons and I love them! Can I request Eli, Anon, and Garret crushing on their childhood best friend Reader? Thank you!

first request 😭💖💖 ty anon for my life

hope you like it!!

♡ Eli, Anon & Garret x Childhood Best Friend Reader ♡

Eli

Lets be honest, his loud personality and need for attention probably aren't something new

So one day while he was clowning out in the playground trying to get people to notice him to no vail and he saw you just sitting by yourself, he didn't think twice

Was quick to declare that you two were best friends

Yes he bought you those matching half heart BFF necklaces that kind of fit into each other no i will not take criticism

You? Sad? On his watch? Lmao no

Doesn't show it, but will absolutely move heaven and hell if that will make you laugh. He can't straight up say that cause he has a reputation to keep, but you know

You're the only person he can let his guard down with. He doesn't feel the need to constantly put on an act and try to be more interesting or (what he considers) more "likeable" than he really is - you make him feel safe and like he can actually be himself for once.

That one friend that secretly threatens the person you're currently dating saying that if they hurt you he will drag their face on the fucking concrete

Speaking of which, he never seems to like whoever it is you're dating for some reason, and can't pinpoint why

Start talking about them and he gets all whiny about how you "don't love him anymore"

Soooo many sleepovers and self-care nights omg

Probably realized he liked you more than as a friend during one of those

You were fast asleep and he couldn't help but stare at you. Were you always this beautiful? How didn't he notice that before? The urge to kiss you at that moment was irresistible. You two have done so before while playing house when you were kids, so it's no big deal, right?

In the end, he decided against it, but the thought never left his mind

He's in denial for a good while (after all a hoe cant be catching feelings like that), but once he gets over it he has little to no restrains or shame

He already used to jokingly flirt with you, but oh god it got so much worse

Yknow that scene in Jennifer's Body where Jen says like "we can play boyfriend and girlfriend like we used to ;)" to Needy? Yeah, that

If you haven't kissed anyone yet, he will insist on being the first one. As practice, obviously

Anon

Ngl he fell for you the moment he saw you at the first day of school

He can be a little oblivious, so it took him a while to realize what those feelings were. He just knew you made him feel weird

Being a little bastard, he went for the good old "bully them as a form of flirting" method

He would actually be really mean at first, not liking how vulnerable he felt around you

Doesn't take long for it to evolve into just playful banter tho

Seeing you flustered or getting you to laugh at his stupid jokes always makes his heart skip a beat

Will bug you to come to his house after school for a "study session" which ends up in you two just playing video games for the entire evening

While you were still kids, you once absolutely destroyed his ass on a PVP game and while you were celebrating he couldn't help but admire you. God, you looked so happy and pretty, no wonder he loves you so muc-

...Wait, what?

Once those words ran across his mind, it was like a switch flipped inside his brain. Love. He mentally slaps himself. Of course that was it, how did he not realize it sooner?

Starts panicking and claims that he feels sick, sending you home and cutting the game session short. You didn't complain. Considering how red he was, you were sure he must have a fever or something

Ignored you at school for a few days after, still processing everything. Didn't last long though, since he started missing you almost immediately.

Saved your contact number as "Player 2", completely aware of how fucking cringey and cheesy it is. Did it as a joke at first, but bro idk if its a joke anymore

Would claim he did it "ironically" if you ever see it

We all know it's bullshit

Steal his hoodie, he'll die on the spot (not before bitching about it tho)

Ends up confessing on accident like the absolute idiot he is

Anon: First ye steal ma clothes, then ma heart! What's next, ma last name!?

Takes a recond to register what he just said, his face lighting up as soon as the realization hit him like a sack of bricks

Well, shit.

If you take a while to answer (probably out of shock; it was completely out of the blue, after all), he'll just start laughing awkwardly and rambling about it, digging his grave deeper and deeper with each word

Anon: Hahaha, ye should see the look on yer face!! It- it was a joke! Just a joke haha... What, did ye think I've been in love with ye ever since we were kids or somethin'? Pff, as if. It's not like yer the most amazin' and beautiful person I've ever met or anythin' haha

Just...... just kiss him to shut him up before it gets even more awkward pls

Garret

Even though he's a very friendly guy, he was always really big for his age and that scared the other kids, so he mostly hanged out at recess by himself

It's why he likes animals; they don't judge based on appearance, so they were basically the only company he had

It's also why he values his few friends so much!

So when you approach him in the playground, he's estatic! Finally, a friend!!

Doesn't take much for him to fall for you.

Some compliments, friendly gestures, and a lot of patience (he's not the brightest and some people get irritated instead of trying to help him out, so he appreciates if you do) and he's yours

Comes to terms with his feelings right away. Why wouldn't he? It's something so nice, so wholesome. Nothing to supress or be ashamed of

Would do anything for you. He's a shameless simp. Just say the word.

Unlike the other guys, he doesn't beat around the bush and confessed while you were both still kids

Probably did that cute "I'll marry you once we get older!!" thing

Ah, puppy love, am I right?

He would tell you how much you meant to him all the time. As you both grew up, you assumed it was just his way of being friendly. After all, it's not like he could have a crush on you for this long, right?

Ha, you thought.

At one point, if you didn't shut him out during his "confessions" or, even better, reciprocated, he'll just assume you're both dating lmao

So once he tried to kiss you all of a sudden, you can say it surprised you a little

Still, not complaining

After clearing things out and you having a "duh doy" moment, congratulations, you got yourself a boyfriend!!

A very dumb, but very loving boyfriend

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Not Our Little Secret Anymore

Gif credits @jesseswartzwelder. @samantha-chicago

Requested on here and wattpad

Hope you all enjoy it.

Part 2 too Our Little Secret

Taglist @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder

"Gabby's going to tell everyone, you know she cant keep a secret to save her life". You chewed on your nails, still looking at the wedding pictures.

"What do you think we should do"? Jay asked coming to sit beside you on the couch. He knew you were nervous.

"I say, we just tell everyone before she does. Dont let her make a big deal out of it. Because it's not. We should be able to be together without having someone hate on our relationship".

"I agree. I'm tired of hiding who I love". Jay took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

Jay and you stared at Kelly who was in the kitchen munching on a carrot like a little rabbit.

"Are you okay with this"? Jay asked with a laugh.

"I'm with you guys. We should tell everyone. Antonio is first cause since he is your brother and Gabby will get to him first. If she hasn't already". Kelly replied.

"I'll give him a call and see if he can come over tonight".

"We should tell Voight as well, just so it wont cause a scene". Jay added.

"See if he can come too. We'll just make a big announcement and tell them. God, I'm nervous". You bit your lip as Jay and you got out your cellphones.

"I'll just finish dinner. Everyone will be cool with us at the station". Kelly went back to cooking, like nothing serious is going on. Your lives are all about to be out in the open and it kinda scared you a bit.

"You're fucking kidding me right now? You, Jay and Kelly are married to each other"? Antonio paced the room. You had just told him and his shit has it the fan.

"Jay and Kelly are married to me. Not to each other. They just live together". You tried to explain.

"But you all are still fucking each other"?

"Wow, why is my brother so stupid"? You rolled your eyes with a annoying huff.

"No. Kelly and Jay are straight they dont have a relationship. I'm the only one that has sex with them.  One at a time. No threesomes. So get that and the image of Jay and Kelly having sex out of your perverted little mind". You exclaimed.

"Oh alright. So no big deal. My sisters just married to two guys. That's normal". Antonio sarcastically chuckled.

"Its normal for us. If you dont like it then leave. I already told Gabby that if she cant except it and stay out of our relationship then she isn't welcomed here anymore. Do you want that to happen to you as well"?

"No. I'm still processing it, okay"? Antonio rubbed his head.

"I know. It's a lot to process at once. Let's go see if Jay and Voight are having better luck than us". You wrapped your arm around Antonio's shoulder, leading him back into the leaving room where Jay and Voight was talking.

"I dont care what you three have going on just as long as it doesnt interfere with your job and my unit. Then we have no problem. But if I see anything that will cause a problem then we'll be having a talk about reassigning you some where else. Either one of you". Voight glared at Jay, Antonio and you.

"Yes, sir". Jay said.

"Fine, I'm going home. See you three at work tomorrow". Voight grumbled as he went past you and opened the door. Slamming it   

"That went better than expected". Jay chuckled.

"Yeah. Antonio here cant seem to wrap his brain around the idea that you and Kelly have no intimate relationship".

"In most threesomes, they all have sex together. Even the guys". Antonio told you and Jay. You giggled.

"You sure know alot about threesomes, Antonio. Are you hinting at something"? You smirked. Jay snickered beside you.

"No. I'm just saying". Antonio tried to play it off as nothing.

"If you say so. But all the joking aside, you alright with this"?

"I'm cool. Itll take some time to getting use to the idea of the three of you together but I have no problem with it". You sigh a sigh of relief and hugged Antonio.

"Thanks. You dont know what this means to me. I just wish Gabby was just as understanding as you".

"She'll come around. Just give her time. Listen I gotta go, kids are coming over".

"Okay. Give them love from us".

"Now that's going to be a therapy session. My aunt has two husbands. Good grief". Antonio laughed as he grabbed his jacket. You tried not to giggle as you shook your head.

"Bye now".

You plumped on the couch with a huff beside Jay. "Hope the others are like this". You tell Jay.

"They probably will be".

"Where's Kelly"? You both looked for him. Totally forgot about him in your relationship explaining.

"I'm here. Just got off the phone with Casey and the others. My friends are cool with us and they want to know when they can come over and have a party. Get together type thing, I guess to see us in our natural habitat". Kelly laughed as he came in and sat beside you.

"Lucky you. Antonio was just weird but at least he didnt judge us". You say leaning your head on Kelly's shoulder.

"Adam is definitely going to make jokes about this. I can hear him now. He wont shut up, even in my brain he wont". Jay groaned laying his head on your shoulder. Kelly and you giggled.

"I say we go to bed and forget this happened then tomorrow we just run away and join the circus"? Jay suggested.

"How about no. We should go to bed and have one of those threesomes, Antonio was nagging on about"? You waited for their response.

"How do you do it"? Jay wondered.

"You've never had a threesome"? Kelly questioned.

"No. Have you"? You backed off Kelly's shoulder surprised.

"Well, not with another guy. But with two girls". He blushed as you tilted your head. 

"When was this"?

"Way before you and I got together. Dont worry". Kelly reassured you.

"Well then. We should do it and see what all the hoopla is about". You smacked their knees and pushed yourself up.

"You guys coming"? You held out your hands for them.

The reached and grabbed your hands bringing them up to you. Jay lead you three into the bedroom. This shall be a fun experience, you thought.

Kelly slammed the door with his foot. Jay pulled you in front of the bed so he and Kelly could get a better view of you.

Jay on one side and Kelly on the other. They began kissing your neck. Moving your hair for a better angle. You licked your lips. This was getting you so excited. Your hand went to their face cupping their cheeks. Then slid down their torsos and gradually slipped down their pants. Pawing at their cocks. Kelly nipped at your ear. Jay snaked his hand under your shirt to play with one of your hard nipples. Pinching it between his fingers, making you squirm.

They stood in front of you, and smirked at each other before pushing you back onto the bed. You knew it was going to be one hell of a ride but that's what excited you the most. Doing it with two men that you loved dearly and trusted the most.

[kaz11283]

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[thesolotomyhan]

narcos: jealousy hc poison

a/n: yall im so sorry this took so long but its here and i hope its not bad pls love me:(( on another note i finished my finals so let’s hope my energy matches my free time now to get requests rolling out for you amores :) anyways lets get into it,, 

Tags: @fandomnerd16 @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @fleurfatale89

let me know if you want to be tagged!

Warnings: NSFW! you know the drill + its longgg

alright, so i get a feeling this would happen in the beginnings of your relationship with poison

like when no one actually knew that you two were dating-

every one of the guys just kinda think youre his friend since they’ve never seen you before and they dont expect poison being someone to be in a relationship you feel???

but either way, i imagine this would happen in the club with all the sicarios because the v i b e sss im feeling are coming from here,,

and also the fact that his ass would come up with some shit like “she’s just a friend, nada mas”

especially once quica gives him that shit eating smile when he sees poison pull out a chair out for you,, holding your hand- just acting like this gentlemen all of a sudden,,

omg- you would probably give poison this subtle look like really?? a friend? but,, just him giving you this nod like just go with it please

and honestly i can see this going smoothly like no problem whatsoever, youre both having a good time ya know,,,

like at this point he has his arm slung around the back of your chair,, everyones laughing and living the night and just- comfortable that he has you by his side and getting along with everyone,,,

but here we fucking go-

i would bet money that quica would be that mf to sweep in next to poison as soon as you get up to go to the bathroom or get some more drinks or something,,

just- this smiling dumbass telling poison he’s going to dance with you once you come back,, just so he can provoke poison because i know he fucking would,,

like i can imagine quica was already trying to get a rise out of poison throughout the night by making sure to direct his fucking jokes to you,, make you laugh and talk with him more than poisons dry ass-

and just before poison can even shut that idea down, quica’s already over here saying something like “what? pense que ella era solo una amiga? i want to dance with your friend, acabo se ve que a ella le caigo mejor que vos”

and omg- the way poison would just glare as he watches quica get up and walk up to you before you reach the table

and you wanting to be social,, honestly dont think much about it,, like its just a quick innocent dance with poisons friend,, nothing could go wrong-

but yall i JUST KNOW once quica has you bien pegadito with him

his ass would be looking over your shoulder at poison, making sure to get his reaction everytime he pulls your body closer with his, or every time he leans in to your ear making you laugh at something he said-

and poison’s over here not paying a single attention to what sure shots telling him,, like his whole attention is on you and quica-

cursing under his breath as he watches the way youre dancing with quica instead of him

and the way youre letting him pull your body closer into his with his hand on the small of your back-

just,, bouncing his leg impatiently every time he sees you laugh and just his eyes becoming darker everytime he makes eyecontact with quicas smirking ass-

wOW just poison having this tense posture,, lips sealed so tight that his hand is itching to reach into his back pocket to pull his gun out,,

and its not until hes had enough once he catches quica’s hand getting too close to his liking near your ass

and like a switch was FLIPPED because all i can imagine is pissed off poison, abruptly getting up that it knocks his chair over,, his jaw clenched as he strides over to the two of you so quick,,,

and just ripping quica off of you, almost making him fall and poison is just heated as hes ready to knock the shit out of him at any second as he stands in between the two of you - “hijo de puta, que te pasa, no la toques aSI”

god,, the intense ass stare off between the both of them, the red lighting of the club and bumping of the music only stirring more emotions in poison wanting nothing more than to wipe quicas smug smile off his face-

but then just,, poison snatching your arm when he turns around, not about to make an even bigger scene already as he drags you out,,

he wont utter a single word to you throughout the car ride, b/c im just imagining him having this death grip on the steering wheel,,, scowl on his face not wanting to hear a single word from you either right now,,

ohh fuck,, ok and once you both get home you would just head straight to the bedroom because at this point you just think he needs a moment to himself,, get some space b/c the atmosphere is fucking t h i c k

bUT then him GraBbing the back of your neck before you walk away,, roughly pulling you back into him and kissing you, not giving you a minute to even think

his hands would be roaming your body,, pushing you back to the bedroom, as youre desperately moving to take his clothes off as he tears off yours, not caring if they ripped or not in the process,,

wow- him dropping you on the bed as he stands at the end,, watching as you come up to him on your knees, your hands coming to unbuckle his pants as you feel his hands grip your ass

and the innocent look your giving him only makes him harder than he already is even tho he wants so badly to be mad at you-

“perdoname papi, no quise hacerte enojar” omg

and then him just giving you these abrupt rough spanks that you know are going to leave marks as he pulls you closer into him,, moving to knead your ass,,, your faces almost touching-

and before you can say anything else,, hes already turning you around and pushing you down onto the bed with your ass up, massaging you to alleviate the pain-

WOW ok,, this is leading into doggy style where he would have you almost ripping the pillows under you as you feel his bruising grip continuously tighten on your hips while he thrusts into you from behind,

just- having you to the point where when he looks down,,, your wobbling knees are about to give out,, your cum dripping down your legs onto the sheets,, and your muffled screams of his name being drowned out by your face in the pillow,,

and him pulling your body up to his by your hair, never once slowing down his thrusts as he places one of his hands on top of yours encouraging you to lick your fingers and touch yourself for him,, beg for him to make you cum- im sorry

i wow, just him holding your body up when you almost collapse,, his movements not once stopping even when youve moved your hand away from your clit,, just getting you until your pleading moans turn incoherent,,  

-turning you around on your back,, and moving to hold both of your arms above your head,, driving his hips roughly into you again not giving you a second to breathe,, 

forcing your legs to stay open with his body when he feels you start to squeeze them around him because you want to so badly close your legs,,

god- his hand coming to grasp your neck,, moving one of your legs over his shoulder as he moves his other hand down to play with your throbbing clit-

“de quien eres, mamacita? tu crees que ese malparido te puede chingar asi?”

and dear god,, you cant even make his name sound coherent because your brain is solely focused on the snapping of his hips, his cock so deeply buried inside of you,, his fingers overdriving your stimulation and the feeling of his other hand increasingly adding pressure to your neck-

and the only thing coming out of your mouth is loud whimpers as you throw your head back,,, the feeling of his teeth sinking into your jaw has you feeling so many emotions as you dig your nails into his shoulders- 

just- him constantly reminding you that hes the only one able to make you feel like this,, making you stutter parts of his name out- i

making a mess out of you ok,, silencing you when you try to tell him you cant do another orgasm but telling you that you made him do this to you so you better take it to remind you that no eres de nadie mas,, 

holding your trembling legs open as he watches you still take him in by the way you let out moans of his name and the rise of your hips when he bottoms out- im not ok

wow just- by the time he’s done with you,, your whole body is jolting and covered in marks, your soreness starting to show,, and no words coming out of you as he ghosts his hand over you,,

[shoezuki]

it's so interesting to me the difference between dreams adhd and technos. like, if I had to describe it I'd say that dream is like my step brothers adhd, and technos is more similar to mine. even from the very beginning, techno has always had more appeal to me, in terms of content, and I wonder how much of it is just the way our brains are? if that makes sense?

like, you mentioned that a lot of people who like techno have adhd and I wonder if it's because we all looked at this man and said, "yeah, I get you."

like, take the lack of uploads and the lack of streams. I will /never/ seriously ask for him to do more. like, ill rb my missing techno hours post but thats about it. I see people talk about it in the discord and im just like, "okay but he's a mood." because I Get It.

and its interesting to me, as well, that the version of adhd I have is less hyperactive. like, it's not so much that hyperactive adhd is childish, so much as it is perceived that way? which isn't to say that people who are like that are immature/childish (because saying that is ableist as well as just.... wrong) but it can be perceived that way. and, I could be wrong, but I feel like dreams audience skews a bit younger? like, he has a younger demographic in terms of percentage.

techno, meanwhile, I feel like has a slightly older audience, attracting those of us who, maybe, perhaps, took until they were, say, 21 to get diagnosed. not.... not personally obviously haha.... ha....

ahem

I just think that part of what turns some of us off from dream+co and towards tech-n-co (ha, nice) is our brain chemistry. idk, I just think it's fascinating to think about. call is a psych major thing kabdk -tiny

OK REAL ACTUALLY i Will Not Lie i think bout techno n his adhd A LOT n like. both because oh same hat and i love psychology a Lot. i was gon go into it in college but some beef came up that pushed me out but ANYWAYS UHUM

Technoblade like. I vibe w him a Lot and entirely got into him because of relating to his adhd a Lot initially. In particular him being 'monotone' is like. I relate to that on a Very personal level cuz no joke a past trauma i got over was that people always thought/still think im 'emotionless' and was unable to Care about anything. Because of how montone/blunt/'bored' i always seemed

But TRULY i feel adhd ppl vibe w him because like. Solidarity. And i can Focus on his videos and even his streams for some fucking reason n i Cant do that with others nearly as much. Its just his thought process and speech patterns just Appeals to me so much. Esp w his uploading n streaming schedule

As much as i goof bout missing him or 'manifesting' a stream i would Never like. Genuinely pressure him into streaming or uploading. Executive dysfunction is a cruel mistress and i Get It

But yeah like. I feel techno has both an older and adhd Fan Appeal to his stuff. I wasnt diagnosed w adhd till i was bout 17 or 18 and ik a Lot of other older adhd lads in similar shoes who jus Feel his content.

Not to sound all 'truthing' because boooo. But somethin of adhd is that like. How it overlaps or intersects w autism. Im autistic And have adhd and like. I feel techno is in that part a adhd that Could intersect w autism and have strong similarities. Only personal speculation but i Vibe in so many ways

Dream's stuff at most would to me have a more Hyperactive/younger vibe? Kinda like u said n idk how to put it but it dont Hit the same

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning… making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

[333dolans]

Light Within The Darkness // G.D

Hey loves! This is my first attempt at writing anything for either of the twins so any constructive criticism is welcomed and very much appreciated. I love you!🤍

Summary: After a heated fight with Grayson leads to a cold night alone, an unEXpected and unwelcomed visitor arrives.

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse and Anxiety. ANGSTY with a lil fluff at the end.

“Are you actually taking the piss Y/N?!” Grayson growled, slamming the door to your small, but cozy apartment. You two had been leaving a small cafè in downtown LA when you had ran into an ‘old school friend’, or atleast that’s what you had told Grayson. He didn’t buy it at all of course, he had a talent of always seeing straight through you anytime you lied. He could read you like a book, he had your body language memorised like his favourite tame song and he knew this wasn’t simply an acquaintance from your early teenage years. When he tried to ask simple questions about him, you became very tense and he could see you had began grinding your jaw at the very mention of his existence and the encounter you had just had. you’d began cracking your fingers, a tell tale sign that you were rapidly becoming more and more on edge. He didn’t want to cause an argument from his tendency to always want to know what is going on, his need for control, so he let it slide. Well that was until you crossed paths with mystery man once again. “Two years with no interaction and we see each other twice within a half a hour period? It’s a sign from the universe Y/N, we should get back together haha!” The man joked. You smiled awkwardly, feeling the heat rising within Grayson. You couldn’t tell if it was due to the mans comment, or the fact that you had lied about this man being your most recent ex. It was probably a mixture, you thought to yourself. Grayson turned on his heel and was started off towards the Porsche just a few metres away. You rushed a quick farewell and dashed after your boyfriend.

“Gray can you just let me-” “Y/N. Don’t.” He interrupted. You didn’t dare speak another word until you made it back to your apartment. The car ride was a silent one, something you wasn’t used to in your entire relationship with Grayson. You two were always jamming out to a throwback playlist and singing your hearts out. When you arrived, He made his way across to where you were standing in the living room. “Gray, I’m sorry ok? I didn’t want to make things awkward for you. He’s my ex- boyfriend, it was uncomfortable and I just wanted to diffuse the situation as soon as I possibly could.” You tried to reason. “Don’t you think I was just as uncomfortable probably even more so when I found out he was your ex?! You should of just told me but instead you lied to me.” He argued back. “How could it possibly have been worse for you G? I have so much history with him and things didn’t end well between us. Why are you making this about you? You’re not even considering how I felt, it’s always about you isn’t it?” You whispered the last part, defeatedly. “If it’s ‘always about me’ then maybe I should leave, Wouldn’t want you to be stuck with someone so selfish!” He screamed. You could feel the tears building behind your eyes, he knew as well as everyone else in your life that if there was one thing you couldn’t take, it was someone shouting at you. It always sent your anxiety sky rocketing and left you spiralling. “Leave Gray. Now please.” You whispered, holding back the desperate urge to breakdown in front of him. “With pleasure, Bitch.” He spat before leaving your apartment the same way he entered. Those words, although simple ones, held so much more meaning to you when they fell from his lips, lingering in the air and consuming your mind. The tears instantly began to stream, letting out a choked sob. “If only you knew.” You thought out loud.

You were jolted awake by an increasingly louder banging on your door. You glance over at your clock, 2:39AM. Grayson. He had came to apologise for acting like such a dick. You slipped out of bed and wrapped your blanket around you tightly. The relentless torture your front door was under not once letting up. You peaked through the peep hole, you weren’t a complete idiot, you had to be sure it was Gray. But who else would turn up at your door at this time right? Crack. You felt your heart shatter and swore you could hear the broken pieces hit the hard floor of your hallway. There, stood your ex boyfriend, Riley. You could of sworn you were frozen to that very spot, but your brain took control and carried you off towards the bedroom, rapidly grabbing for your phone and gripping it tightly to your chest. You creeped back towards the door cautiously, not wanting to make too much noise. “Riley you need to leave. Now please.” You spoke politely, which was beyond what he deserved. “Y/N! Open the door please. I need you. I’m a mess without you. Seeing you today reminded me off that!” He pleaded. “You’ve survived 2 years, keep going. I have a boyfriend Riley. Please leave.” You responded, heart non stop pounding against your chest, taking your breath away with every thump. “Y/N! YOU STUPID BITCH! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” He growled through the door, repeatedly kicking at it now. “JUST LEAVE RILEY!!!!” You retreated into your bedroom, then into the bathroom and locked both doors. You violently sobbed into the blanket that had been wrapped around your body as you reached for your phone.

To Babe💘: Gray, please.

Read at 2:45am

3 missed calls from Babe💘

To Babe💘: Hello?

Read at 2:52am

You sobbed even more, realising that he was ignoring you at a time when you needed him the most. You don’t remember when, but you must have eventually passed out on the cold bathroom tiles. You didn’t have the energy to get up, so you sat up against the side of your bath. You reached for your phone, only to see not one single sign of contact from Grayson. You felt the all too familiar feeling rising in your chest and taking control of your breathing. Another panic attack. You hadn’t had one in months due to the calmness Grayson provided, he was your light within the darkness, but he wasn’t here to save you this time. You texted him once more before you fully broke down.

To Babe💘: Grayson please, I need you. Now.

You knew this would work. His full name over text was only ever used in an emergency. You shut your phone off to try and focus on your breathing rather than how shitty your boyfriend was being right now. You had completely forgotten about the text and 30 minutes later you heard the front door swing open. “Y/N!? Where are you?!” Seconds later he enters the bathroom and finds your small form, tear stained cheeks and violently shaking from your cold night alone. “No no no, baby I’m so so sorry. Y/N look at me yeah? Focus on my voice. Deep breaths for me.”

He tried to scoop you into his arms but you cowered away. In that moment he swore he could feel his heart shatter. He had become the man he’d promised you he’d never be. Grayson knew you had and still struggle with your mental health, although he didn’t know much about the causes of it all. He let his anger get the best of him once again and he hurt you in the process. “Angel, I cant express how sorry I am. I didn’t mean to snap at you and I certainly didn’t mean what I called you.”

There it was again. His words began to replay in your head for the 100th time. “With pleasure, Bitch.” “STOP! Please make it stop Gray. I don’t wanna be back there anymore, I can’t be back there.” You begged him, clinging to his shirt now. He cautiously began to rub his hands along your back, palms sore from the strength he used to grip the steering wheel on the way over to your apartment. “Back where love? Talk to me please, I want to help you.” The feeling of Grays hand on your body, knowing he was close to you, knowing you were safe now, your breathing slowly began to regulate. You finally lifted your head and looked up to meet his eyes. Teary and bloodshot, a mirror image of yourself. You could see, scrap that, you could feel that he was sharing your pain. He didn’t know why you was feeling it, but he could feel it all nonetheless. You took in a shakey breath as you began.

“Riley seriously, they’re a pair of shoes? I bought them as a treat for myself for getting promoted.” You tried to explain to him, annoyance growing every passing minute. You were always smart with your money, never splurging out on fancy items. You’d never really felt like you’d needed them. However, earlier this month you’d been called into your bosses office and offered a better paying position at your work, which you gladly accepted. You’d decided that you would finally buy the shoes you’d been eyeing up for months now but had never talked yourself into buying. They were $300 but you decided you deserved them, your boyfriend clearly didn’t feel the same way. “I don’t care Y/N, you cant just start spending our money so carelessly, especially not this close to when rent is due and for something so minor as a promotion.” He countered, words laced with resentment. You couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Our money? It wasn’t ‘our money’ when you went out and bought that watch.” You pointed to the, in all honesty, hideous watch that was strapped around his wrist with pride. “I spent my hard earned money on those shoes because I deserved them, I worked for them.” You spoke, calmly and with confidence. “I seriously don’t understand your problem, please explain? Like I know it may be hard for your fragile masculinity to accept that not only a woman but your own girlfriend earns more than you, but that doesn’t give your misogyny a free pass to belittle my achievements”. You knew the second you said that, you would come to regret it. “You want me to explain? With pleasure, Bitch.”

The tears were once again streaming down your face once you finally stopped to breath again. “It was abusive and toxic, I knew I had to leave him, I had to get out of there so I did. I never looked back after I left but I guess life has a way of not letting you forget your past, no matter how hard you try to.” You sighed, so tired from the nights previous events. You’d explained to Grayson about what had happened with Riley turning up at your door, you’re grateful he’d left before Gray got there otherwise you may of been spending your night bailing his ass out of prison right now instead of in his arms. You’d explained about your past with him and why things had ended. You knew Gray had many more questions but it was clear you were not ready to answer them right now and you were extremely thankful he left the topic alone. You quite frankly didn’t want to entertain your memories of Riley anymore and Grayson knew that. He planted a kiss on your forehead before scooping you up, “wanna watch a film and cuddle? You can choose the movie.” He wiggles his eyebrows and gave you his signature smirk. “Yes please, only if you bring me the ice cream though!” You giggled, letting the last 3 hours fade to the back of your mind.

You were out like a light after 30 minutes, head in Grayson’s lap as he carelessly traced shapes along your arms, watching your chest rise and fall and lips slightly parted. “I will never let this happen to you again, you have my word. I love you more than I love myself angel.” He spoke gently, watching in awe as your lips curled to form a faint smile. “Mine” he thought to himself, “All mine.”

[thequeenb]

The Devil's Tango

Poppy x MC

Warning: Smut

Poppy straddles my lap and my breath catches. She could certainly sit on a chair, she has chairs doesn't she? Yes there is one right there, why did she--

"Hm, your makeup looks decent but i will be glad to wipe it off" Poppy says running a make up wipe across my face smoothly and honestly? She is so gentle my heart might explode. She is focused on her task but all i can focus on is her beautiful sight

What is actually happening? But of course i have no time to process anything

"This is a lot, i don't think we have that much time to go through all of them?" I ask and she rolls her eyes

"Of course not Farmsville. My cousin from Korea sent me a package with the finest skincare products and honestly? You could use some"

Ugh even with her on top of me she is being sarcastic. A part of me screams to get up and leave but her body is warm against mine and her expensive perfume makes my senses dizzy

"Let me know if it burns" she casually says and i open my mouth to protest and of course she ignores my attempts. I close my eyes ready to feel pain but its actually so refreshing

"Wow..it doesn't burn its.. actually amazing" i say stunned

"Then you are welcome, skincare routine doesn't exist in your life huh?"

Wow. For the first time i don't care about her attitude, for the first time i am so overwhelmed by what's happening that I don't have time to process how i feel because my mind goes blank and all i can think of is ripping her clothes off

I lock eyes with her and i see her questionable expression. Her eyes are dark with desire and this is the most sexy thing i have seen in months. I want to say something, break this awkward silence but instead i grip at her hips hard, pressing our bodies together

"Oh? Is that why you have been quiet?" She raises her eyebrow and gosh i feel like i cant even respond to something that simple.

Without a second thought i lean forward capturing her lips with mine and oh my, they are so soft and glossy. Her cherry lipgloss leaves a sweet taste in my mouth and I can't stop myself

Suddenly she pulls back and i shudder at the loss of contact but then i notice how Poppy's eyes sparkle under the lights

"Are you sure you can handle me Farmsville?"

Honestly i have no idea but she is on top of me like a greek goddess and even though my mind screams no, my body screams yes! And thats exactly what comes out of my mouth

"Yes, bring it on"

As soon i say these words Poppy and i undress eachother falling back in the soft mattress. She pins my hands above my head as she kisses me fiercely. Her tongue is dancing against mine, my lip is caught between her teeth but then again she pulls back smirking

"Stop being a jerk and kiss me" i manage to say breathless

Her eyes are eating me up and i haven't felt so sexy my whole life. She runs her warm palms up and down my thighs and i sigh happily

"I can't believe you hid this body underneath garbage" before i can even respond she reaches out in her nightstand and for a minute i think she is going to bail out

"Let's have fun shall we?" Is that? Poppy Min-Sinclair you kinky bitch. She is holding a pink vibrator in her hands with a smirk on her face. If you told me that i would be in Poppy's bed with her on top of me ready to fuck our brains out when i first got here i would have laughed at your face. But oh my, reality is sweet

I sit back completely at her mercy as she licks my neck. I hear a loud click and then i can feel the vibrator against my thighs. It's on the lowest mode because she is such a tease as always. She cups one of my breasts and nip at it hard as i moan loudly

"You have been a very bad girl Bea"

Did she just..?

I shudder against her and my mouth is open holding back a loud scream. The way she says my name is so addictive and needy. Her tone is teasing to a point my knees go weak

"Oh do you like when i say your name?" She bites my jaw as her free hand hold me firmly by the neck. I open my eyes and i watch her stare down at me like i am the most precious thing in the world

In response i arch up, grinding my hips against her and she closes her eyes in pleasure. She slowly guides the vibrator between my legs and when she connects where i need her the most i gasp

"Oh Poppy!" I scream but she is quick to kiss me hard. Our kisses are messy and passionate and it makes me wonder where this desire comes from

I reach for her underwear and she squeezes my neck tighter, gosh i am so wet for her. I place my hand underneath her panties and oh wow she is excited. I watch as she groan calling out my name with her melodic voice

"Oh Bea, yes" hearing my name come out from her lips makes me want to please her more. My hand works between her legs in rhythmical movements and i know she is on the edge

Soon we both shake as ecstasy takes over my whole body. I grab a fist full of her expensive sheets trying not to scream so loud. I say her name like a prayer and her eyes are hungry with desire.

She lays next to me and i really don't know what to say but i turn my head to face her regardless. She is bright red trying to control her breathing. She rests the vibrator on the nightstand and i watch her walk towards the bathroom, she doesn't say a thing but the open door is an open invitation.

I follow her and i watch her fill her extremely big bathtub with hot water and essential oils. Wow taking care of her self is no joke

I caress her back pulling her against me by the waist. I wrap my arms around her as she sighs "So that happened" she says dipping her feet in the bathtub to taste the water

I murmur against her neck lazily not wanting this to end. I came here to get dirt on her and i ended up doing the dirty with her. My mind is racing, rethinking how i feel about Poppy but then she gives me her hand pulling me towards the bathtub

I wash her back kissing her neck as i do so and she covers her face with her hands. Wow is she really shy? After what she did to me?

"You cant tell anyone about this" she whispers almost embarrassed but then she reaches behind holding one of my hands "Because they will not understand"

"I promise" i breath out focusing on massaging her shoulders

"No one stays after our hookup"

"I am not just a no one then" i smile thinking how many had the opportunity to see this side of Poppy but instead preferred to just use her for their desire

"You are lucky i wont upload this video of you making pig noises" she laughs freely and my hand freezes

"What now?" I go still wondering how much she had to dig to find something so bad about me

"Oh please, it was hilarious. Besides i told you i wont upload it"

So she really has that much power huh? She can find anything about anyone. For a moment i stay silent thinking her words carefully. I am trying to find something to give in that this is a trap but she is sincere and real with me and all i can do is smile at our progress

"Good. Because then i would had to leak your little hook up with Cl--" but she turns around throwing shampoo at me

"Ouch!" And just like that the bathroom is filled with our laughter and honestly? Poppy isn't that bad, at least behind closed doors and i cant wait to crack these ice walls down and see where this goes.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @ghalind @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @tyrils-star @justastranger-passing @witchesplayatnight

[heyjude19-writing]

Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:

1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco

2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*

3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.

4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!

5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.

6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.

7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you

7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!

Now to some questions

A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?

B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process

C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way

D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?

Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?

Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.

Ok rant done. :D

List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!

1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)

2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.

3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.

4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???

5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.

6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.

7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.

Now to some answers:

A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!

B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”

C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”

D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.

I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.

The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”

If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.

Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.

You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.

Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!