#joking I will not keep putting off drawing vamps

[emry-stars-art]

Same Halloween party, everyone assumes neither of these two are in costume but Andrew is secretly wearing those retractable vampire fangs and the only people that know are Renee and Neil

[strawberryscribblesandwrites]

Vampires vs Bath time

Marko x reader x Paul

Summary: your two blond vampire boyfriends visit you and things get a little steamy ;)

Author's note: I might do full smut part two we shall see

A cool breeze ruffled my hair, the smell of the sea being carried by it. That was one of the few perks of living right near the boardwalk, the fresh smell of the salty ocean.

Another perk was that I was close to my boys.

Ah, my boys. How could I begin to describe my undead delinquents? Well you have David, the ring leader, charming sinister energy to him at first but once you get to know him he had a soft spot for his lost boys. Dwayne is the silent brooding type, he loves reading and riding his bike with the others. Marko and Paul, the messy mischief makers filled with a childish hyperactiveness to them.

When I first met my boys they were well they were kind of a mess, only washing in the ocean, living then with frizzy matted hair- they would occasionally use the public showers near the boardwalks, but after meeting them I was adamant that they should keep good hygiene, especially if we were to all be in a relationship. David and Dwayne followed my rule and would pop in to have a proper hot shower or bath.

Now, Paul and Marko.... would try their best to remember but they would often get caught up in their shenanigans.

My radio was playing a loud rock song that reminded me of a thrilling night in the cave. I danced around my room without a care until the sound of a shrill wolf whistle and catcalling made me jump out of my skin. Spinning around to face my open window, I saw none other than the pair of blonde vamps. Their faces and clothes smeared with thick blood.

"What the hell" I whisper shouted at them.

"Aww baby don't be like that, it was a good show" Paul said with a smirk while Marko was giggling like a mad man. "Hurry in before anyone sees you" I said, shaking my head trying to suppress a smile at their antics.

"Do not touch anything" I said sternly as they came through my window. I walked to my set of draws and got the pair some comfy clothes to chuck on while I put their blood-drenched clothes in the wash. "Let me guess you were playing with your food and got too messy?" I asked them over my shoulder. "You could say that” David said “We were starting to stink up the place" Marko mumbled, like a child being told off. "I think we could have gone a few more days before we needed a good wash" Paul said in a joking manner.

"Gross" I stated.

Putting the boy's respective comfy clothes on my bed, I turned to the pair to inspect which of them needed a more thorough approach. Looking at Paul, he didn't seem too bad. His hair was stiff, as were his clothes- covered in deep, sticky blood. But other than that he didn't seem too bad. Marko, on the other hand, had his shirt half ripped and his soaked jacket looked particularly crusty. His chaps had seen better days, not to even mention how his hair was stuck together, all matted with blood clots.

"Paul you're up first, Marko baby you need extra care. I swear if you boys continue this I'll start treating you like actual dogs and just put you in the paddling pool and hose you down" I threatened

"Woof" Marko said smirking causing Paul to explode with laughter

"Sugar, we aren't that bad" he said breathlessly between laughs. I just hummed in response, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bathroom. "Baby, you just stay there. You can read some comics on my desk, I don't mind you getting a mess on my desk chair" I told him over my shoulder.

Turning on the taps of my bath, I added some soap and set some shampoo, conditioner and body wash on the side of the tub.

"Strip" I said pointing to the bath.

"Oooh, no need to be so snappy. If you wanted me naked you should just ask nicely" he said in a seductive tone.

"Not tonight casanova" I told him, causing him to pout.

I walked out of the bathroom giving him his privacy to get in the tub. Waiting, till I heard him shout through the door he was ready. I opened the door to collect his clothes.

"Hey baby, do you think you can wash my hair?" he asked softly. "Of course I can sweetie" I smiled.

Popping my head back into my room after I had put Paul's clothes into the washing machine, I was met with the sight of Marko, with his feet kicked up on my desk engrossed in one of my many comics. I made my way back to the bathroom, knocking on the door and waiting for a response before making my way in.

Paul lay in the bath, his wet hair pooling around his broad shoulders, his face and chest absent of the blood that was there earlier that night. "Hey Paulie" I said softly as I kneeled by the bath. He gave me a sweet smile as he sat up giving me better access to his head.

I truly loved nights like these with my boys. Sure they were killers, but they were also the boys that always treated me with love and care.

Kissing Paul's shoulder, I leaned for the shampoo, squirting some on my hand and massaging it into his scalp, causing Paul to let out a soft groan, my nails raking across his head."Have I told you how much I love you?" Paul breathlessly groaned as I started pouring water gently over his hair. “I'm always happy to hear it baby” I said, kissing his shoulder again.

I continued rinsing his hair until it was free of soap, repeating the process with the conditioner. “I could get used to this” Paul sighed, as the water sloshed round the tub as he started to stand up. “Well, I'm glad to hear that because I would prefer it if my boyfriend didn't smell like a corpse when I see him” I chuckled, wrapping a towel around his waist before he stepped out of the bath. “Aww, don't you find the smell of rotting sexy babe” he teased, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his bare chest. “Hmmm. Nope. I don’t think it is” I joked into his chest.

“Come on pretty boy, Marko needs a bath and a good scrub” I said, kissing his chest, causing a deep rumble to spread through him.

“Your clothes are on the bed and the hair dryer is in my desk drawer” I said, opening the door of the bathroom for him.

I leaned down putting my hand in the now lukewarm water to pull out the plug and let it drain .

Leaning my shoulder against the doorframe of my room, I watched as Paul moved over to my desk where Marko was sat. Paul leaned over him to get to the draw, allowing Marko to quickly lean up and kiss his jaw. “You smell nice” he told him. “Thanks bud” he said with a soft smile, retrieving the hair dryer.

Moving back to the bathroom as the last of the bath water emptied out, I replugged it, filling it with hot water and more soap, waiting until the bath was full until I called on Marko.

After a few minutes, he hadn't come. I decided to see why he was taking so long, walking over to my desk and leaning down over his shoulder. “Marko baby, why aren't you coming to the bathroom?” I asked softly.

“Babe, this comic is bitchin’. Look!” he said, excitedly showing me the panels of two characters fighting. Chuckling, I kissed his temple. “That's pretty cool, but ya gotta get a wash baby”. He groaned as he put the comic down.

We both moved to the bathroom where the bath was almost full of hot water and soap. “Pass me your jacket” I told the blond vampire. He shrugged off his jacket with a sigh. Giving a quick thank you, I moved his jacket to the kitchen where I could hand wash it.

I knocked on the door of the bathroom and waited for the okay from Marko to come in.

“Hey” he said, as I entered the steamy bathroom. “Hi” I smiled.

Marko was sat up straight in the water. Unlike Paul, he hadn’t bothered to rid his face and chest of congealed and dried blood .

Kneeling by the bathtub, I soaked the washcloth in the water, bringing it up to Marko’s face and gently scrubbed his chin. “You're both such messy eaters, you know that?” I asked with a chuckle. “We can’t help it babe, we just get a lil excited is all” he stated with a smile. I chuckled slightly at his response.

Gently, I grabbed his chin and tilted his head back so that I could wipe the blood from his neck. Occasionally, I would re-wet the cloth until his neck was clear of blood. I placed a set of soft kisses on his neck, up to his jawline. Pulling away from Marko, I dipped the cloth back in the water.

“Why are you so gentle with us?” he questioned.

“What do you mean?” I asked, while tilting my head and smiling softly.

“Well, I mean, you’re so soft with us. You make sure we are clean, and I mean- well look at you. You’re cleaning a bloodthirsty creature of the night” he stated. “I mean, you wash Pauls hair, you give David massages when he gets worked up, you sit and read with Dwayne, and don’t even get me started on how soft you are with Laddie. You buy him allsorts. You treat us so well and I don’t understand why” he said bewildered

“Hmm. Well, the answer is simple” I said as I brought my soapy hand up to his cheek. “It’s because I love you all, so very dearly” I smiled sweetly.

Marko broke out into a wide smile. “Awww, babe. You love us? Ewww” He joked as he pulled me into a kiss.

Pulling away, I gave him a soft look.“Alright lover boy, I should really wash your hair now. It’s all matted” I said. Sternly grabbing the bottle of shampoo, I started to lather his hair. “It smells like you” he mumbled to himself as I continued the process of lathering and rinsing until there were no more suds in his hair.

Grabbing the conditioner, I gently raked it through his hair before grabbing a comb to get the knots out of his curly hair, being careful not to pull and hurt him. Once I was done running the conditioner through his hair, I rinsed it all out.

“Alright, I'm gonna give your jacket a wash. I’m sure you can handle the rest from here” I said. Standing from the bathroom floor, I moved to the door.

Before I stepped down the stairs I went to check on Paul, he was on my bed, towel still low on his hips as he read one of the comics Marko had earlier. He’d turned the rock music on my radio higher, seeming comfortable

I carefully made my way down the stairs with the rest of Markos clothes in my arms. I walked into the kitchen, putting his jeans and shirt in the washing machine and setting it away along with Paul's clothes. The sloshing sound of the washer filling with water engulfed the silent kitchen. Grabbing Marko’s jacket, I filled the sink with cold water and detergent then began gently scrubbing at the blood stains, carefully, so as to not ruin it. I hummed a random song I had heard from the radio earlier as I worked away to rid the jacket of all the blood soaking it.

I stiffened as a pair of cold hands made their way round my waist.

“What you doing down here all by yourself?” Paul hummed huskily in my ear as his hand made its way under my shirt.

“Ah! Paul baby, your hands are freezing” I squealed, trying to squirm away from him.

“Well, you can help me warm them up” He mumbled against my skin. Paul started to drag his lips slowly down my neck until he reached the junction where my neck met my shoulders. I hummed at the feeling of his soft lips on the crook of my neck, the sensation sending shockwaves through my body.

“I heard you and Marko in the bathroom” He whispered as he began kissing and nibbling back up my neck to my ear, causing me to let out a low huffy breath. “We love you too” he said as he pulled away, causing my hairs to stand on end.

Groaning at the loss of one of my vampire boyfriends body on mine, I turned to see his face lit up with a devilish smirk.

“Come on, Marks waiting” He informed, deciding I could finish washing markos jacket later. I dried my hands on a dish towel before following Paul up the stairs to my room.

As I entered the room I was met with the sight of Marko drying his hair with the spare towel I had given him earlier.

“Hey baby” He said joyfully with a smile. I chuckled at his joy. Paul had once again wrapped himself around me as he swayed to the rock music on the radio. He would occasionally place kisses along my neck.

Marko soon made his way over to us both. He placed one of his hands on my hips as he brought the other to my cheek to pull me into a passionate kiss.

The feeling of Marko’s lips on mine mixed with the feeling of Paul’s nibbling kisses and occasionally licking my neck made my head spin.

“Boys” I groaned at there attack as I pulled away from Marko for air, leaning my head back.

This only allowed the pair to continue their attack. Marko dove in, attaching his lips to the underside of my jaw.

Paul pulled away giggling. “Aww, look Marko, we have them melting” Paul teased, causing the other boy to pull away with a smile.

“You boys are the worst”. I groaned at the loss of their touch.

“You sure about that sugar?” Paul said as he tilted my chin to pull me into a passionate kiss. Marko trailed his cold hands from my hips up my stomach, the feeling of his cold fingertips trailing up my chest sent shivers down my spine, causing me to let out a moan into the kiss with paul.

Marko continued his path, his cold hand grabbed my chest with a dark chuckle. “Your heart is beating so fast baby. Do we really get you going that bad?” He said as he lifted my shirt and kissed my hip before he made his way up my stomach. The feeling of his soft breathing on my skin made my stomach muscles tense. It felt like the most heavenly torture.

He pulled away, making me internally groan. “You made them all whiney” Paul cooed in mock sympathy, causing Marko to giggle as he pulled my shirt off.

His nails gently dragged my hips closer to his face the cold tip of his nose hitting just above my hip made my body shiver in anticipation, Markos eye flitted up to mine then to pauls.

Paul's hand trailed up my chest his hand trailed up my chest to my his hands were soft as he moved my head slightly to the side and slowly licked up my neck before I felt the nipping feeling of his teeth dragging along the tender skin below my ear. Marko had pulled away from my hip his fingers digging under the hem of my jeans with a smirk “mmm hey paul do you think they are desperate enough” he rasped to the other vampire “nope” paul replied Marko breathily My room once filled with loud rock music was replaced by my own breathy wines and moans mixed with the raspy teasing giggles of Marko and paul they really did love teasing.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Blood Bags | Damon Salvatore

A handsome stranger approached you, with a charming smile that showed his perfect white teeth.

You wished to sink your teeth into his neck, but were pulled away before either you could do so or the man could reach you.

The drool had tumbled down to your chin, so you brushed it away with one hand whilst your other was dragged out of the mystic grill and onto the street.

"That was my dinner." You grumbled snatching your arm back from the imposter.

"That was stupid." Damon counteracted. His eyebrows raised as he studied your dead glare. "For starters, you hadn't compelled anyone in that bar. And I'm sure if you lost control, Matt would have staked you then and there."

Rolling your (Y/E/C) eyes, you crossed your arms. At his relaxation towards you, you attempted to speed back into the bar, but he was quicker for he was older.

"Fine, you can find me dinner then." You told the vampire. For a moment, you wished Damon was human, so that you could drain him.

"You weren't this annoying when you were human." The man complained, wishing you hadn't been turned.

"Blame your brother. He went all ripper, it's not my fault." You sulked. "Can we hurry? I'm starving."

Now it was Damon's turn to roll his eyes. If Stefan hadn't reverted back to his old ways and turned you into a monster, he would find you much more bearable.

He walked, and you followed behind him like a lost puppy. His car was on the pavement and you quickly let yourself in.

"Who are we gonna drink?" You asked excitedly. Damn heightened emotions.

Putting the keys into the ignition, Damon began driving away from the centre of town, keeping an eerie eye on your unpredictable form.

"You aren't going to be feeding from anyone." He pointed an accusing finger at you, which you smacked out of your face. "At least not until you can control yourself."

"I can control myself." You were beginning to get defensive. "Don't you remember when I saved your ass from that hunter? I kicked his ass, and I was human then."

"You're not anymore." It saddened him. Like when he was human, you didn't have a choice in the matter. You had been changed against your will leaving you with no human rights. "Just hold onto the humanity that you have left."

From experience, Damon knew how it felt when losing your humanity felt. It was one big relief, a way to clean the slate in your mind. However when it came to returning to a sane state of mind, it was the worst pain anyone could ever feel.

It was practically torture. Reminding you of all the mistakes that you had made when you had been under no obligation to care.

Stefan had lacked the control of humanity when he decided to force feed you his blood and then snap your neck. And now he was pained by the trouble he had caused. He tried avoiding looking at you as all he saw was one big mistake.

The car stopped, pulling up outside of the boarding house. You were quick to speed out of his car and into his home, he was quick on your heels, pinning you against the wall with his arm under your throat.

“\Let go of me.” You growled at Damon, letting veins roll out from beneath your eyes. But he didn’t comply with your order, instead he leant his face closer to your own

“Behave.” He snarled in your face, giving you an icy glare. “Bonnie and Elena are here and you are not going to try and eat them.”

“I learn from my own mistakes, not yours.” You told him, pushing his body away and walking into the living space where the girls were sitting, along with Stefan who grew uncomfortable from your presence. 

“Hi girls.” You sat down next to them, smiling wide and inhaling the smell of their blood. 

Bonnie was concerned about you. You were reckless beforehand, and loyal. But after you turned, you had become dangerous. She was always on edge around you now, her trust was failing.

“Okay.” Damon huffed, grabbing you from under your arms and picking you up. “It’s dinner time for the baby vampire.”

Elena frowned, wanting to tell Damon to be careful with you, but she soon realised that would only enhance your annoyance towards the other vampire and make Stefan feel more guilty.

“Bye!” You yelled as he half carried and half dragged you away, descending the both of you into the basement where the fridge containing the blood bags were stored.

“I’d rather be locked in that thing with someone’s foot than have to drink old blood.” Damon couldn’t resist but roll his eyes and smirk at you as he opened the top of the rectangular fridge.

“That can be arranged.” He fluttered his long eyelashes as he spoke sarcastically, reinforcing your face to pout once more. He held out a bag towards you, which you had to scowl at.

“Drink.” He slipped it into your hands, awaiting you to fulfil your appetite. The plastic was flexible in your hands, it was quite entertaining until your stomach decided to growl.

“This is human, right?” You hoped it was, you didn't want to drain Bambi or Thumper, as Damon had often joked about with Stefan.

“I picked it up myself.” He sent you a smirk, which made you bow your head. You took the plastic bit that looked like a straw, breaking off the stopper, and drank from it as you would from any fast food drink.

When the blood reached your lips, you moaned. It was good, better even. Damon frowned at your reaction, most vamps had very different reactions when trying to detox from first hand blood.

“Oh my god.” You were quick to have finished your first, and soon reached and grabbed your second.

“You are definitely Stefan’s creation.” Damon drawled on teasingly, but you paid no mind, you were too hungry. He wasn’t concerned about you finishing off their supply either, it was better than you draining strangers or friends.

“This is so good.”

“Hallelujah.” He sighed, content that you were drawing yourself from danger by taking a safer route of survival. 

[mrs-theirin]

understanding.

so uh this originally started as “hating rebecca hours”, then it was loving nate hours, and then suddenly at the last second it became.......mutually respecting adam hours??? so here we are. @magebastard this one’s for you <3

calliope langford x nate sewell / calliope & adam du mortain, 2585 words. mommy issues paired with getting to know your stuffy leader better (also on ao3 <3)

The apartment is quiet. 

Mind-numbingly quiet, actually.

“Stay home and enjoy yourself,” Tina had said, practically pushing Calliope out the door, a wide smile plastered on her face that said if you don’t go home right now I will end you. Even Verda came out from the lab to say goodbye, his gentle eyes hardened in a way that let her know there was no fighting him. 

She needs something to do. The apartment just isn’t the same without Farah’s laughter, Adam’s groans of distaste, the irritating clouds of Morgan’s smoke—which still lingers on everything she owns. Honestly, she’s going to take Morgan’s cigarettes and shove them somewhere unpleasant—and Nate’s warm, calming presence. She debates sending him a text, maybe asking him for coffee, but the idea leaves as quickly as it came. 

He’s probably busy. She’s sure he has more important things to do than—

Im bad at this texting thing. Coffee

Calliope laughs. Before she can respond, another text from Nate comes in.

That was supposed to be a question. I cant find the apostrophe or question mark. I would like to have coffee with you. 

Another text, separate from the last.

Now, if you can. I heard you were sent home from work and I know how much you like the pastries there.

Her heart races at the thought of Nate frantically typing away at his phone, confused but determined to send her a text. She must admit, it’s a hilarious image, and she laughs as she sends her response.

relax and look for the “123” on the left of the keyboard. you’ll find all your punctuation needs there. and yes, i’d love to go get coffee. meet me there?

Ah! Found it. Thank you. And no, I’m outside your apartment. 

Calliope straightens, deigning to push aside the curtain and peek out at the sidewalk. Sure enough, Nate stands awkwardly outside, staring down at his phone. His gaze flickers up as her hand makes the curtain dance, and he waves politely. She waves back. She mouths “be right there” and pulls away, cursing herself for looking outside in the first place. Did he just run here? Was he just outside her apartment when he sent the original text? Did he just assume she would say yes? 

She rushes to her bedroom, ripping the nicest—and hopefully subtle—thing she owns out of her closet and throws it on, stopping in front of the mirror to undo the messy bun she has her bright orange hair in and tussle it into something appropriate. She glances at the panicked look in her eyes, and tries to calm down. What is she freaking out for? It’s just Nate. 

I would fight through any form of technology if I knew you were on the other end.

Nate, who can make her face flush with just a few words. Nate, who towers over her, his warm brown eyes staring into her soul. Nate, who is patiently standing outside waiting to take her to coffee. She tries not to hold out too much hope that it’s a date.

“Hey!” she says when she finally makes it outside, unconsciously taking too large of a step and standing uncomfortably close to him, which she quickly rectifies by inching backwards. They both laugh nervously. “Did you—”

“I was in the neighborhood,” Nate rushes out, his face flushing. “It’s a beautiful day out.”

She accepts the obvious lie with a face full of heat. “Let’s go then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She loves the way he laughs. 

At Haley’s, he relaxes; his shoulders slouching, his gaze softening. He is no longer scanning every person on the street, trying to gauge if they’re a threat. He is talking and he is joking and he is smiling and he is laughing. And every time he throws his head back to laugh at some stupid sarcastic joke she makes, she melts. 

He sighs dreamily, then faces her with soft, kind eyes. “I really missed you, Calliope.”

Her heart thumps in her chest. “I missed you too. You could’ve called, you know.”

His smile fades. “I wasn’t allowed to. The Agency thought it was better if we just...left you alone for a while.”

“So I could recover?”

Nate turns away, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah. That’s it.”

Before she can ask him to elaborate, she hears a familiar clack of heels behind her. Her body tenses. “Calliope,” her mother’s voice says, clear and professional, though surprised. She wasn’t expecting her daughter to be here. 

Calliope doesn’t even turn. Her hand clenches around her coffee and she clears her throat. “Rebecca.”

Something in her dies when she sees Rebecca take the seat next to her. It is crushed to ash as she turns to Nate, who is smiling kindly at Rebecca, ordering another pastry for her, inviting her to stay longer than Calliope prefers. Her mother hums gently. “Coffee date?” she asks, though there is something else in her voice. Something resentful. Something...cautious.

“And what if it was?” Calliope mumbles into her coffee, as Nate replies, “Oh no, just catching up.”

“You should be careful about how much time you spend in the open, Agent Sewell,” Rebecca offers, and it’s obvious why she’s saying it. Calliope begins to shake, as she always does around her mother, and washes her resentment down with her coffee. The warm liquid contrasts the coldness of her bitterness. 

It wasn’t always this way with Rebecca; there was a time where they laughed and smiled and shot each other with water guns. But eventually laughter dies out, smiles fade away, and water guns change to Glock 22s. Love changes to resentment. Dads die. 

She understands why secrets were kept. She hates that Rebecca doesn’t understand why she would be upset by the secrets that were kept. The way Rebecca’s eye twitches when Nate leans into Calliope is sign enough on its own. Can’t even be happy with the circumstances she has, apparently. 

“Of course,” Nate says, professional as always. “Understood.”

“Let the man...or, vamp, live,” Calliope retorts. “We’re just having coffee.”

Rebecca presses her lips together tightly. “Calliope. Do I need to remind you why you’ve been wearing turtlenecks for months?”

She chokes on her coffee, slamming the cup down on the counter, the paper crunching in her hand. Typical of her mother to remind her of trauma, trauma that deeply affects her, as if it’s just a statement she can throw out at any given moment, like a quick anecdote or conversation starter. How can one look at their daughter having her neck torn out by a killer vampire and think, “This will be good for future scoldings”? And her scoldings, well, of course they aren’t scoldings, they’re concerns. Worries from a concerned mother. A mother who was so concerned about her daughter that she left for years with no contact, leaving the local librarians to raise Calliope. 

Calliope tenses as she feels a hand on her shoulder, but deflates when she realizes what side the hand is on. Nate squeezes her shoulder affectionately, and she cannot thank him enough for being a rock. If Rebecca is the storm—cold, predictable, unrelenting—then Nate is the hearth; warm, welcoming, reassuring. He smiles softly at her. 

“Of course you don’t,” she finally speaks, subconsciously scratching at the scars. “But considering I’ll be working with the Agency again soon, getting coffee won’t matter much, will it? Or are you trying to say that I can only put myself at risk if I’m not having fun?”

Rebecca’s eyebrow twitches as she sighs. “I’m only trying to look out for you—”

“No, you aren’t.” Her voice is stern, but quiet. Don’t want to draw too much attention. That’s the way it’s always been, right?. “You’re looking out for yourself and your reputation as a ‘good mother’, but it’s all crap anyway. If you wanted to preserve that, you wouldn’t be begging me every 5 seconds to tell you you’re doing a good job.” 

“Calliope,” Nate gently warns, and she slowly shrugs his hand off of her shoulder. Now is not the time for another one of those sad, soulful looks he gives her when she argues with Rebecca. She doesn’t have the effort. 

Rebecca’s lips are thinned again, in that disappointed scowl Calliope’s seen so much of since this whole Agency business started. “Sweetheart,” she starts, and Calliope is already cringing away, already preparing herself for whatever pandering crap Rebecca is about to spew. “I want you to be safe.”

“But not happy, clearly.”

“Calliope Langford.” Rebecca’s voice is harsh, but it only manages to enrage Calliope more. Her mother isn’t stern often, usually grabbing for the ‘soft and meek’ route, but on the occasion she does show annoyance, it’s never a pleasant feeling. Not because it upsets Calliope, but because she knows it’s a ruse. If she holds out, her mother will give in, because they both know she can’t stand being the bad guy (despite making herself the bad guy in every single conversation they have). “This is dangerous business. I don’t want to see you hurt. I do love you, whether you believe me or not.”

Calliope stands abruptly, slapping a $20 bill on the counter. “Why don’t you concern yourself less with whether I believe you, and more with whether you believe yourself. Come on, Nate.”

She starts to walk away, but hesitates when Nate doesn’t immediately follow, out of his seat but hunched over, like a kicked, obedient puppy. A twinge of betrayal tugs at Calliope’s chest, but she waves it off, instead holding up her hand, exasperated. She leaves without another word. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rings.

Once. 

Twice. 

Three times. 

Calliope sighs in exasperation, about to hit the red ‘end call’ button, when the phone finally clicks, a stern, professional voice coming through as clear as day: “Special Agent Adam du Mortain. Is this something important?”

She rolls her eyes, unable to keep the smile off of her face. “It’s just me, Adam. You don’t have to answer the phone like that.”

“Is this something important,” he repeats, though this time it’s less of a question. 

She gives in. “I was wondering if you wanted to spar. You said you were...less than impressed with my combat skills, so why don’t you teach me?”

The line is silent for a moment, before Adam lets out a small huff. “Where?” 

She blinks. She hadn’t thought of that. “...Here?” she offers, uncertain.

He sighs heavily. “Open the door.” 

The call ends and she is rooted in place for a moment before she springs up from her couch, opening the door and peeking out. Adam is standing on her stairs, looming over her, and he raises a single eyebrow, making the action of entering her apartment. She steps aside and watches him analyze the living room. “Move the table,” he says.

“You’re the one with the super strength,” she jokes, closing the door behind her. “Can’t you do it?”

He glares at her. “Are you serious about training with me?”

She straightens under his gaze, nodding sharply. “Yes,” she responds, though it comes out like a nervous question.

“Then move the table. And slide the couch away too. We need plenty of room.”

She salutes him, tying her hair back into a high ponytail. “Can do!”

He groans. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why didn’t you call one of the others?” Adam asks, crossing his arms and staring down at the panting, sweating Calliope, who is holding onto her knees for dear life.

“Oh, you know—” she says between heavy breaths. “You’re starting to grow on me.”

“Your form is poor.”

“Oh, I know!” she wheezes. “You actually told me that, a bunch of times, like two seconds ago.”

If she didn’t know any better, she can swear she sees a ghost of a smile threatening to appear on Adam’s lips, then it’s gone as quickly as it came. He regards her with complete and utter disappointment. “They would’ve been nicer.”

“Ah, but nice isn’t what I need. I need to learn how to fight.”

This time Adam does actually smile, though it’s still not quite a full smile, more like pride over seeing a lesson learned. He cocks his head to the side. “It could also be that you’re fighting with Nate.”

She hesitates for a moment before scoffing. “I’m not fighting with Nate. Fighting would require words, of which there were none.”

Her two seconds of hesitation were enough for Adam, because he nods his head sharply, and scowls. “Figure it out. I don’t want you two at odds next time we’re all together.”

“Why?” Calliope drags the table back to its original spot, collapsing on the couch with a heave. “I thought I was a distraction.”

He joins her on the couch, his posture as formal as ever, the distance an obvious sign of something. “You are a distraction. But you’re more of a distraction when Nate is running through his mind trying to make up a list of ways he can make it up to you.”

“Make what up to me?”

“You’d have to tell me that.”

The two stare at each other before Calliope sighs, smiling. “Thank you for coming over. You didn’t have to.”

“I don’t have to do anything I don’t wish to,” he simply says, and she rolls her eyes.

“Loosen up a little sometime, huh? I think it would do you good.”

“Then you and I will have to have differing opinions.”

A knock sounds at the door, and Calliope starts to stand, but Adam takes the lead instead, gesturing for her to stay put. She doesn’t put up a fight, after all, her body is aching and all she really wants is a nap right now, maybe a 3 day slumber. When the door opens, she strains her ears to hear the soft mumbles of whoever is at the door. Adam’s voice is strong, and overshadows the meeker, much quieter voice of the person—no, woman, that’s a woman’s voice—standing at the door. A few more minutes pass until Calliope finally hears Adam say, “I think you should leave,” and shuts the door. When he returns, she gives him a curious smile. 

“Who was that?” she asks, and he shakes his head. 

“No one important. It’s late, I should leave. Goodnight, Detective Langford.”

She stops him before he can zip out. “Adam, honestly. You can call me Calliope. I promise you won’t implode.”

He hesitates, gears in his head clearly turning, then gives in, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Goodnight, Calliope. You did well.”

“You’re lying to me!” she calls after him, and he says nothing as the door shuts behind him. She lets out a soft, incredulous laugh. Well, at least one good thing happened today. 

She heads to the light switch, peeking out of the window just for a second to try to catch a glimpse of the woman Adam had sent away. Her heart drops into her feet as she sees the car she knows too well. Rebecca sits in her car, taking a deep breath, and eventually starts it up and drives away, shaking her head. Calliope is frozen at the window. 

It was Rebecca at the door. Rebecca, who Adam...turned away? Told to leave?

She takes a moment to suck in a deep breath, letting out a loud sigh. Huh, she thinks, turning off the light and heading to her shower, eager to wash off the grime and sweat of training. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

[holylulusworld]

Ms. Bodyguard - Trust me

Summary: Jensen is used to be the hero on his show. He’s not a coward, not at all - but when he gets attacked by an unknown man the studio insists on a full-time bodyguard. Specialist in protecting people while living with them - you agree to protect Jensen, but he doesn’t like the fact a ‘small’ girl shall protect him. Will you be able to protect the unwilling actor?

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Bodyguard!Reader

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Clif Kosterman

Warnings: angst, mentions of stalking, mentions of blood/murder, slow burn, language, comforting, mentions of suicide (nothing happens), investigations, conspiracy

A/N: The plot thickens, and we get closer to solve the mystery.

Ms. Bodyguard Masterlist

“Ouch, woman don’t be so rude! You can’t just come in here and rip my band-aid off! I could’ve been naked.” Jensen scolds while you check on his wound again. “Do you honestly believe someone hired a killer?”

“All I can tell you is that the poor girl got killed fast, efficient, and the way I would’ve done it to not cause any pain or draw anyone’s attention toward me. Your wound is the same. The person attacking stabbed the part of your body not causing you to bleed out or hit an organ, sweetheart.”

“Jensen, or Jay, please. Outside you can use the codename but within these walls, inside my house, please call me by my name.” Nodding you put a new band-aid onto his wound.

“Fine, Jensen. Today plans are to keep you alive, not leave the house before we know it’s a fortress and for you to tell me about anyone hating you. From an angry ex-girlfriend to a maid you fired. Even a guy you pissed off at a bar.”

Jensen nervously chews on his lower lip, not believing he has to write a list of enemies.

“I’ll try to remember, but it’s going to be a brief list. I mean, everyone loves me…” Jensen tries to joke. “Sorry, I’ll try to take it seriously, but this feels so strange to me.”

“I know, Jensen. Let me order food and we can ask Jared, his wife Genevieve, and Clif to help us. Maybe you forgot someone, but they remember. Tomorrow, I want to talk to your other colleagues and people you know in Vancouver.” Again, Jensen nods, not knowing how to handle the situation.

“I need you to trust me, Jay. If you do not trust me, ask someone…” Jensen shakes his head, even grasps for your hand and you pat his shoulder.

“I won’t leave, okay. Let’s see what we can find out. My friend will come around later to check on the doors and windows. Don’t worry, he’s reliable and knows I will kill him if he messes up a job…”

“Scott is done. I’ll say goodbye and we can have a look at your list. Jared and Clif will be here in an hour. Genevieve couldn’t make it as one of the kids is sick, but she made a list.”

Nodding Jensen rereads his list. A deep sigh leaves his lips fearing one of these people is the one wanting him dead.

While Jensen is distracted with his list your talk to Scott about the reason you called him. “I need a complete background check for everyone he worked, lived, or had an affair with. Clients tend to hide things from me.”

“Got it, boss. Great, you’re back.” Scott glances at Jensen who crosses out a name to write down another.

“He doesn’t look like someone hiding bodies at his attic, but I’ll try to dig anything out.” Smirking Scott shakes your hand seeing the look Jensen gives him. “I guess he likes you a bit too much…”

“Go and stop talking shit. Do your job and I’ll call you again.” The door slams shut behind you with a loud thud, making Jensen flinch. “Sorry. Finished with your list?”

“I got a make-up artist who got too handsy. A guy I yelled at as he poured his hot coffee over my pants. That hurt like a bitch.” Chuckling at Jensen’s watches you take the list out of his hands.

“A girl I promised to call after a one-night-stand five years ago. I tried to remember her phone number…”

“It’s fine. I don’t think she’s our number one priority. Who’s ‘the evil bitch’?” Jensen grunts even scrunch up his nose before he gets up to pace around the room.

“I was married. She is like a vamp when it comes to money. Always tries to suck more out of me…”

“I need more than ‘the evil bitch’, Jensen.” This time Jensen grins before he hands you a piece of paper with her name, address, and date of birth. “Jessica Calliope Cunningham. What a fucking name.”

Jensen snickers at your comment, relaxing for the first time since he got the call. “Can you tell me how the marriage ended? Infidelity? Fights?“

“Honestly, I got no clue. One day I believed we are happy; the next Jessica tells me she will move out. It was a strange time back then. According to rumors CW wanted to end our show. I had depts and my wife left me out of the blue.” Frown on your face you dial Scott's number to let him run a check on Jessica too.

“Do you think she has something to do with this? I mean, she was the one leaving me, not the other way around. Why should she want to see me dead?” Rubbing his chin Jensen glances at you talking to Scott. “Y/N?”

“I am not sure what the killer wants. If he wanted you dead, he would’ve ended the job. This doesn’t make sense right now.

There is girl, freaking out, carving your name into her skin. After she recovered at an asylum she gets killed. You get attacked but not killed, even tho, we know the guy could’ve easily killed you.

Then there is this message that you are next – but why not killing you during the first attack? He was there, had the knife in your body. A bit to the left and you would be dead…” Jensen shudders at your words.

“You can make a guy feel comfortable.”

“Sweetheart, I am trying to make sense out of this shitshow you call your life. No killer would’ve let you go, Jensen. If something looks like a horse, walks like a horse it sometimes is a dog…” Blinking at your words Jensen groans.

“This doesn’t make sense!” Throwing your hands up in surrender you nod.

“Exactly, Jensen. Nothing of this makes sense.”

“I need a drink or rather ten…”

“Same but I have to protect your ass so, no alcohol for you or me. Sit and let’s check the list. I would bet my ass on your ex-wife but let’s see if we can find someone better…”

Now a smirk appears on Jensen’s lips when he places the knife you lost onto the table.

“You know, if you lose this bet, your ass is mine?” Laughing you pat his head before you slap it. “Ouch, you shall protect not hurt me.”

“Behave, sweetheart. I am not your wet dream of a naughty bodyguard out of one of Dean’s porn. Now let’s check the list.” Jensen grins, you just admitted you watched his show.

“You watched it.” Sighing you try to change the topic but Jensen being the little shit he is gets up to poke your back. “I bet you like Dean…huh? Are you a Dean girl?”

“I am more the ‘I’ll kill you if you don’t stop to bug me with your show’ kind of girl, Jensen. Now sit over there, shut your mouth, and look pretty.” Still grinning Jensen sits onto the sofa opposite you.

“What do you like the most? My toughness, the car…my guns?”

“Your brother…” Not amused Jensen’s smirk fades. “He’s tall, smart, and knows when to shut his mouth. Oh-and I like the hair but don’t tell Jared or I’ll have to press him against the wall again.”

“I know you like Dean…” Smirk on your lips you try to not react to Jensen's words. “I’ll make you a Dean girl…or a Jensen girl.” Whispering the last words, he watches you check something on your phone. “Terminator…”

“Jessica, Jessica... I think we have a winner…Jessica. Whoa, Genevieve, Jared, and Clif only came up with your ex-wife.” Jared huffs, pointing toward his phone.

“Look what she wrote about the attack. She faked compassion but didn’t call anyone to ask if he’s alright.”

“The words she used sound odd. I mean, it does sound as if he died, not got injured.” Humming Clif rereads Jessica’s tweet.

“You’re right. Sounds like an obituary to me, Y/N. Fishy, to say the least.” Jensen doesn’t want to hear anything else, tries to forget everything that happened but the memories of the attack will still haunt him.

“I think, I’ll have a girl’s talk with her soon. That woman knows something, I can feel it. Scott is on it. If she’s hiding anything, he’ll bring it to light. For now, all we can do is to keep Jensen safe.” Jared nods silently, worried about his friend.

“We are on hiatus soon. One more week, a party, and then it’s over for summer break. Maybe it’s for the best to go back to Texas?” Hopefully, Jensen looks at you, but you shake your head.

“Whoever is after you, Jensen. He’ll not disappear only as you change your location. That man will come and try it again. I just can’t understand why he didn’t finish the job when he had the chance to.” Jensen rubs his knees nervously, glancing at you now and then while you reread the lists.

“He…that man, he said something.” Your head snaps upward when Jensen clears his throat. “I didn’t tell anyone, but he whispered something in my ear while he pushed the knife into my body.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Jensen, for fuck’s sake! Maybe this could be a breakthrough.” Angrily jumping up you pace around Jensen. “I hate if clients do shit like that. How shall I protect you, Jay? I can’t keep you safe if you lie to me.”

“I’m sorry, it was just…embarrassing. I felt weak and what he said scared me as it was partially true.” Jensen grumbles and you place one hand onto his shoulder.

“Just tell me…us…”

“He said that I’ll always remember this moment and that, if he does his job right, I’ll prefer to end my life than to live in the misery he will bring over me.” Jensen’s voice trembles when you squeeze his shoulder tightly. “He said something else...guardian angel and then he was gone...”

“That guy wanted you to commit suicide?” Jared blinks a few times. “That’s ridiculous, Jay. Why should he attack you only to force you to kill yourself?”

“Fuck…I need to…give me a minute…” Heart racing a mile in a minute, head-spinning you leave the house to take deep breaths. “This can’t be…impossible…”

“Something wrong? Y/N? What’s going on?” Clif watches you pant heavily, barely able to control your breathing. “Y/N! You are scaring me.”

“It’s impossible, Clif. He said my codename to Jensen. It’s his modus operandi but this can’t be. He can’t be here…I…I killed him…”

More tags in reblog

Ms. Bodyguard Tags

@healojane​​​, @bitchwhytho​​​, @marvelouslysherlockedhunter​​​, @mimzy1994​​​, @couldabeenamermaid​​​, @abbessolute​​​, @vicmc624​​​, @fantasydevil2002​​

--------------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2​​​​

@supernatural-bellawinchester​​​​

@negans-lucille-tblr​​​​

@deans-baby-momma​​​​

@thefaithfulwriter​​​​

@squirrelnotsam​​​​

@roonyxx​​​​

@neerness​​​​

@deansgirl-1968​​​​

@spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​​​​

@butifulsoul125​​​​

@lyinginthegingerlocks​​​​​

@neen-illustrates​​​​

@janicho88​​​​

@woodworthti666​​​​​

@thevelvetseries​​​​

@dreaminemz​​​​​

@akshi8278​​​​

@midnightsilver16830​​​​

@mrspeacem1nusone​​​​

@ria132love​​​​

@caligraphee​​​​

@the-witch-in-silence​​​​

@justanotherwinchester​​​​​

@multisuperfandom​​​​

@jason-todd-squad​​​​​

@jadesupernatural​​​​​

@psychicforest​​​​​

@luciathewinchestergirl​​​​​

@magssteenkamp​​​​​

@palefiregiver​

@tranquility-or-chaos​​​​

@jxackles​​​​

@michellemxndes​​​​​

@addictedtofictionalcharacters​​​​​

@gabifernandessn​​​​​

 @waywardrose13​​​​

@team-free-will-you-idjiot​​​​​​

@myopiamystical​​​​

@rintheemolion​​​

@isthatabutterfly​

@bluecornflowers​​​​

@rosalynshields​​​​

A/N: If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you.

[valkyrieskwad]

would love to see you do the 2019 fic writing roundup!!

Here ya go (this is longer than i thought it would be lmfao):

2019 Writing Round-up

AO3 word count: 278,552 words

where there’s desire, there’s gonna be a flame (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena’s a criminal and Kara loses every argument she tries to have.

um, this is the second fic i started for supergirl, but the first one i finished. i wrote this because basically my heart was not into crash and i wanted to do something quick and funny. i finished this in like four hours and was really happy with it. 

we’re burning down the bridges this time (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the au where Lena’s an investigative journalist that’s never managed to land a front page story, Kara’s a hotshot National Geographic photographer, and they make a really good team.

this is the third fic i started and second one i finished for supergirl, and i fucking struggled with this one. it wasn’t even that i didn’t like the fic, i was still just not wanting to write crash and then i lost a story i enjoyed writing and so i wrote this but i was really over writing but this kinda pulled me out of the slump. i love this story.

crash through the surface (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the fic where Lena gets involved with something dangerous, Kara’s in over her head with everything, and neither one of them know how to deal with their feelings for each other.

haha i have too much to say about this fic. it’s the first big project i’d taken on in more than three years and i felt like i did a lot of things wrong in the beginning so the end was me cleaning it up and it made it way harder to write than it should have been, so i have a bad relationship with this fic. but i don’t think it’s that bad, just, akdlfkjfhfdas.

when you feel my heat, look into my eyes (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

Lena makes sex toys, and Kara helps her test them out.

this is the buttplug fic and my only claim to fame. i love this fic.

i’ll be your light, your match, your burning sun (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

Lena only joins the uni’s ultimate frisbee team because Sam keeps talking her ear off about needing more players. But then she meets the captain, Kara Danvers, and suddenly her summer gets a lot more interesting.

okay! frisbee fic! i fucking loved writing this. i think i struggled a little with the last bit bec i wanted to show like a natural progression to young love, and i’m not super happy with some parts, but i love this fic so much it’s my baby it’s made me friends it’s - it was fun, idk. i really appreciated the fandom taking a chance on frisbee, tbh. it’s a great sport.

your love is bright as ever (even in the shadows) (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena cries a lot, loses Kara, gets her back, and starts learning how to be okay again. Especially that last bit. ♥

i’d already started writing the cave fic when i posted this, but i stopped to write this bec the reveal kinda put me in a weird mood and i needed to write about it. i really wanted to work on the cave fic, though, so ugh. this could have been better and there are places i wish i could add to it and i just kinda wrapped it up instead of drawing it out, but. i like it. it also helped me get out my reveal feelings, so i love it for what it did and what it is.

sink into you like water (pray you won’t pull me under) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

a [Fake Dating AU] in which Kara rescues Lena from an underwater cave, it turns into one of the biggest media frenzies of the year, and they somehow get branded America’s Sweetest Couple by the public. Except, they’re not actually a couple, they’re divorced.

um, there’s a lot to say about this. i got the idea for this one day out of nowhere and started toying with it. then i went hiking in colorado and in the middle of dying at the top of the mountain i was like holy fuck this is what i wanna write. so i wrote a bunch of it, then i didn’t post it bec i was like who the fuck wants to read a cave fic. then, i dont remember why but i posted some of it on tumblr and some people were like post it, so i did. i love this fic with my whole heart. there’s like, two places i wish i did something diff, but as a whole i’m happy this exists in the form it does and that it came from me.

we could slow dance to rock music, kiss while we do it (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

College AU, where Lena’s a baby goth with nipple piercings, Kara’s her roommate and completely smitten, and they get matching tattoos somewhere along the way.

um, i don’t know what to say about this. it was super fun and came from multiple tumblr prompts and i love being collaborative and playing off of other peoples’ ideas. i also think the second chapter is probably some of the best smut i’ve written tbh.

life’s a drink and love’s a drug (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

It’s not the first time Kara’s worn the scarf outside the bedroom. She’s been pretty obsessed with it ever since it moved from being a simple part of Lena’s wardrobe to a part of their sex life.

this was a tumblr prompt i made longer for someone. had a ton of fun writing it.

and we’ll start a fire, and we’ll shut it down (’til the love runs out) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

MORE FRISBEE.

it feels like i’ll never get around to writing this, but it’ll happen.

staring in the blackness at some distant star (M, Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas)

some college-aged rojascorp

this kinda started as a joke and then i realized i’m absolutely in love with this ship and i’m going to keep writing it even if no one wants it because it makes me happy.

time’s supposed to heal you (but i ain’t done much healing) (E, Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena loses herself in a small town, and finds Kara Danvers in the process.

um, this is my favorite thing i’ve ever written in my life. i have so many feelings about it, but i’ll save them for a giant tl;dr post i’ll make when it’s finally finished.

a falling star fell from your heart (and landed in my eyes) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas)

post college hiking au, where Lena’s hopeless, Andrea is a mess, and Kara’s just along for any ride.

this is also one of my favorite things i’ve written, i love this so much i love andrea i love lena i love kara i love them to gether. i love hiking. i will finish this soon.

reflecting in your eyes, like an endless summer (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the vampire au.

haha, i don’t know what to say about this. i love this story and have some super elaborate shit planned and im being shameless about it bec i’ve wanted to write a vamp story since the beginning of time and have always been like im gonna get shit for it bec everyone is over vampires. but like, i’ve been like fuck it and i’m loving it.

I WROTE SO FUCKING MUCH THIS YEAR ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY’VE READ IT ALL YOU’RE AUTOMATICALLY MY FUCKING FAV. THANK YOU.

[thiswasinevitableid]

This Bites (Indruck)

The prompt for the 24th was: Midnight Ball. This one is NSFW, and a vampire AU, so there are mentions of blood (but nothing graphic).

Technically the ball begins at nine in the evening. Midnight is the highpoint, the turnover from October 30th to the most revered day of the year. 

Indrid and the other residents of Sylvain Manor have spent the day preparing, decorating the halls and ballroom while removing inconvenient items such as mirrors (he’s grown used to not seeing himself in them, but he wishes to offer his guests the courtesy of not giving themselves away).

By nine thirty, the band is playing lively waltzes as couples spin across the floor and friends laugh in small clusters, sipping wine and tasting the various delights Barclay prepared. The cook is nowhere to be seen, but Indrid knows he’s snuck off to his quarters with a certain human, the werewolf unwilling to wait until midnight for his kiss. 

His friend's starry-eyed love is the only reason he will ever permit a monster hunter anywhere on his grounds. Indrid is not a violent man by any means, but he will do whatever is needed to keep himself and the others in his care safe. 

A downside to this approach is that he is warier of some of the townsfolk than he otherwise would be, and they in turn see little of him and think him aloof. Which is why he’s lurking in the corner at his own party. 

An absurd, charming laugh catches his ear, and when he locates the source he’s certain his long-stopped heart restarts.

The man is dressed in a deep brown suit, cut to accentuate muscular arms and pleasingly strong looking thighs. He must be one of the local farmers, or perhaps a tradesman, as his shoulders and slightly weathered face point to work outside and his bearing lacks the self-satisfaction of a member of the aristocracy. He’s talking with Dani and her human girlfriend, Aubrey, smiling a little crooked when Aubrey tells a joke. Then another dance begins, and the two women excuse themselves to the main floor. 

Indrid waits to see if someone else will approach him, not wanting to interfere if the man is here with a partner or a friend. But the man simply sips his wine and steps back into the corner out of the way of the widening crowd of dancers. Indrid inches along the banquet table, terrified of being presumptuous. Then the man adjusts his tie, no doubt from the heat of the large fire in the fireplace, showing a delicious stripe of neck. 

A quick check of the future indicates his approach will be well-received, and he’s at the man’s side in four quick strides. 

“May I have this waltz?”

“Uh” The stranger looks behind himself, then back at Indrid, “sure. Can’t promise I’ll be much good.”

“I am not known for my grace either, so we will make a fine pair. Shall I lead?”

“Only if you promise not to crash me into anyone.”

“I will do my best.”  Indrid places a gloved hand on his hip, enjoys the warmth seeping through when their fingers link.

After two bars of the song, he says over the music, “since an introduction seems only proper, my name is Indrid. What is yours?”

“Duck.”

He grins; hearing that name was just as charming in the moment as it was in his head. 

“It’s a nickname.” Duck steadies him with the  hand on his shoulder as Indrid nearly collides them with another couple, “there, uh, there a reason you asked me to dance?”

Indrid cocks his head, “I wanted to. Cliche though it may be, I spotted you from the across the room and wished to know you better.”

“Oh” red blooms across his cheeks and he looks down, which causes them both to elbow an unfortunate passerby, “fuck, sorry. I, uh, well, just didn’t come here tonight thinkin anyone would be that interested in dancin’.”

“Not even the person who invited you?”

“Aubrey’s awful busy, wouldn’t you say?” He nods towards the two women trading kisses as they dance. 

“Ah, of course. Well, I am certainly glad she brought you.” He hopes his smile comes across dazzling rather than predatory, a fine line he trips over more often than he’d like.

Duck meets his eyes, studies him a beat, then grins right back “Seems to me there’s plenty of arm-candy here already.”

“Yes, but I suspect you are far more than a handsome face.”

That laugh again, making Indrid melt like the candles, “Jesus, you get right to it don’t you?”

“Oh, ah, apologies, I did not mean to be too blunt.”

“I don’t mind, darlin. Like I said, just wasn’t expecting itoof, sorry.” Duck sends a chagrined glance at the man whose foot he just stepped on. 

“Would you like to continue talking somewhere less, ah, perilous for us and everyone else?”

“Lead the way.”

Indrid chooses the gardens as their destination, annoyed when more and more clouds cover the moon, obscuring his view of the plants and--more importantly--of Duck.

“Damn, this is impressive stuff out here. Some of this is real tricky to grow.”

“Really? I must admit my own knowledge of gardening is limited to appreciating its results.”

Duck trails his hand up the trunk of what Indrid is mostly-sure is an Oak tree, “Takes all kinds of things to make a healthy garden. Healthy forest too. Too much light, too little water, the wrong place to try and take root, those kinds of things can make it hard for a plant to grow, same as a human.”

“I take it you have an affinity for helping one of those two categories grow.”

“Try to help both when I can. Love takin care of the forest, but Kepler’s my home; I wanna keep it safe, wanna see it grow rather than crumble away.” He moves to another tree, admiring it, and Indrid follows him through the grove, listening as he talks about the plants, about the town, about his work as an arborist. Duck makes him laugh, draws him into an involved conversation about the merits of different orchards and the manners of cats compared to ravens. 

“You been in Kepler long?” They’re shoulder to shoulder now, strolling through the last, stubborn roses of the year. 

“For a time. I wandered around quite a bit before arriving here. I had a run of, ah, of bad luck. Or maybe it was inevitable that I found my way here.”

“Eh, fate and shit ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Bitterness edges around his words, “and some folks give it more credit than it deserves.”

Indrid, futures and timelines churning in his mind, finds this statement perplexing and inspiring in equal measure.

“Fate being what it may, I think we ought to return inside”  He points to the mounting clouds, “I’m certain we are about to be rained on.”

Duck sniffs the air, “Smells like it. Wouldn’t mind all that much except this is the only suit I own.”

“Can’t have such a lovely thing getting ruined.” Indrid purrs, taking Duck’s offered arm. 

They make it to the top of the front stairs just as rain patters on the cobblestones, and two younger vampires vacate their seats by the fire the moment they notice Indrid eyeing them. Someone brings them drinks as they talk, Indrid too focused on Duck to notice who it was or what they gave him until he sips and discovers wine, which he does not like. Well, if nothing else, holding it will give him some way to occupy his hand and keep it from creeping up Duck’s thigh. 

With the exception of occasional glances at the clock or around the room, Duck’s attention is on him the entire time. As the hands of time move closer to midnight, the conversation turns to Indrid’s hobbies and his fondness for art. 

“I draw as well, for pleasure and, ah professional reasons.”

“You got any specialties?”

“A few. Would you like to see them?”

“Hell yeah.” 

It’s a short trip up the stairs, Duck keeping their arms linked until they reach the door of his study, having to separate so Indrid can unlock it. As they enter, Duck spots the commission he’s been working on.

“You do portraits?”

“Indeed.” Indrid looks over his shoulder, “are you offering to model for me, Duck?”

“Depends on the kind of modelin.” Duck grins before turning to shut the door.

Picking up his sketchbook, there’s a click of a lock. Goodness, here he thought he’d need to use the rain as an excuse for why Duck would surely need to stay the night in his bed. 

He’s debating the two sketchbooks, prouder of the plant ones but needing to be sure there are no disaster sketches in the mix, when Duck grips his upper arms, spinning them face to face.

“Indrid, look, we ain’t got much time. We gotta get out of here.”

“I...I do not understand.”

“Look, I don’t know who invited you, but this party ain’t what it seems. And, uh, I ain’t exactly either. This is a fuckin vampire ball.”

“And you are a…?” He’s certain Duck is not vampiric, but why would he tell him if he was human-

Oh no. 

“I’m here on a mission, it’s a long story, but I’m a vampire hunter.”

Oh no

Indrid looks at the future, something he ought to have done much sooner, and steps out of striking range. 

“I’m supposed to take down the vamp who runs this place, but I ain’t been able to spot him, which means he might know I’m here. I’m gonna make a break for town, and I want you to come with me. Indrid I, I can’t stand the idea of you bein where Baron Cold can get you.”

“I” he sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, “I appreciate your concern Duck. But I promise you I’m in no danger from the baron. After all, I have no intention of harming myself.”

-----------------------------------------

See, this is why he kept telling Minerva he wasn’t cut out for this. Because not only has he been romancing a vampire all night without knowing, he’s been flirting with the guy he’s supposed to kill.

Indrid must have worn a glamour  to disguise himself the last time he was seen in town. Duck’s been working from the wrong description this entire time.

“You gotta be fuckin kiddin me.”

“I wish I was.” Indrid’s lips twitch into a frown, “just as I wish you were joking about coming into my home to hurt me.”

“It’s gotta be done.” Duck says more to himself than to the vampire.

“No, it really doesn’t. For goodness sake, two minutes ago you didn’t want me to get hurt!”

“Yeah, because you probably put me under a fuckin thrall or some shit!”

“I did no such thing. Believe me, if you were under my thrall, you would know.” Indrid says flatly, only to hiss when Duck removes a stake from his trick pocket. 

“It, it don’t matter. Because I ain’t under now.”

“Duck, you don’t want to do this.”

He doesn’t dare answer, in case the truth comes out. But before he can move, Indrid slides his glasses down his nose, revealing red eyes. 

“You will not move.”

His muscles lock up, his feet turn to lead, and he gets bitter confirmation that how he felt about Indrid all night came from nowhere but himself. 

“As I said, my thrall is very obvious.” Indrid plucks the stake from his hand, tossing it into the fire. Pats down his sides, roots through his pockets and the tops of his boots, muttering all the while.

“Foolish...distracted...should have known....rude human.” He punctuates the last words by hurling Duck’s sword (disguised as his belt) out the window. 

“Hey, I ain’t the one bitin folks.”

Indrid whirls, snarling, “I have not nonconsensually taken anyone’s blood in years.”

“And you were gonna do what once you got me up here?” Duck manages to cross his arms. 

“Show you my drawings! I thought you wanted to see them.” The vampire has the audacity to look hurt.

“I did.” The truth darts out before he can stop it, and so he covers with more annoyance, “But I don’t buy that was really all?”

“Fine, if you must know, I was going to suggest that you spend the night on account of the weather, and perhaps you would like to do so in my bed.”

Yeah, okay, he was definitely  going to bite him. 

“Just” Indrid hugs himself, “just go. I will let the thrall down, and not alert anyone to your presence.”

His body comes under his control once again.

A half-second before Duck moves, Indrid says, “Don’t you dare.”

Duck’s already committed to his attack, figuring he can at least subdue Indrid and get him into town. He doesn’t get the chance. Indrid grabs him and spins him with significant strength, slamming him into the bookcase. He can’t get his right arm free as it’s twisted behind his back,  and the left is pinned, splayed out beneath Indrid’s gloved fingers. Apparently all the Chosen strength in the world can’t help him against a pissed-off vampire. 

“That.” Indrid growls in his ear, “was not polite.”

“Would you knock it off with all that manners bullshit and just get it over with?” He mumbles into the hardcovers.

“Get what over with?”

“The thing you brought me up here for.” He turns his head, glaring at the vampire who, for his part, looks confused. Then he grins, bringing his mouth dangerously close to Ducks neck. 

Cold, but very lively, lips connect with his, Indrid humming when Duck tips his head to deepen the kiss. 

The vampire pulls back to nuzzle his cheek, “That was what I hoped for from you. But since you seem rather, ah, fixated on the biting..”

“AH!”

A chuckle vibrates up his neck as Indrid latches onto it, and Duck clenches his teeth, terrified that if he speaks, he’ll ask for more. 

When Indrid releases the skin, the hunter stares at the bruise. 

“There, there ain't any holes.”

“I told you” Indrid lazily kisses his face, “I only do that with permission.” He gazes at Duck over the rims of his glasses, “is that something you wish to give me?” The hands lift from his wrists, the weight from his back, “or do you wish to depart?”

“I want” he rests his forehead against the books, “I want to, uh, to, know what it’s like. If you, uh, if you want toFUCK, ohgodohfuckAHhnnnn.” His whole body tenses when the fangs sink into the base of his neck, and for a moment he’s worried he’ll pass out in Indrid’s arms. 

Then the steel in his spine melts, pleasure rushing in to replace it, dripping into every vein. His fingers flex and curl helplessly, Indrids hands too busy forcing Ducks chin up and clinging to his waist to hold them. 

He’s never been this turned on in his goddamn life, and wishes he’d learned this about himself any other time but now, with anyone other than a vampire who has three hunters guilds, one assassin network, and two governors hungry for his head. 

Memories bubble up beneath that wish; Indrid in the hours prior, laughing and smiling when Duck told stories or bad jokes. How at ease he felt walking in the gardens with him, as if there was nowhere else he was meant to be. The look on his face when Duck agreed to dance 

He moans, squirming in Indrid’s hold, knowing he’s lost and unable to care that he has. 

The vampire isn’t faring much better, groaning into the bite, the hand on Ducks shirt gripping tighter and tighter. When Duck gasps at a burst of pain the groans and growls turn to a purr, the teeth retracting from his skin and replaced by soft licks and gentle kisses. 

“Is, is it always like that.”

“No. It is neutral to pleasant in most cases.”

“So what the, the fuck was that?”

“At a wild guess, you are discovering some new and interesting things about yourself.” Indrid grins like a fox that’s just been given free reign of a henhouse, “would you like to learn more? Or would you like to go?”

“More, fuck, Indrid please I, I’m-” he’s not certain what he’s trying to say, only that he wants Indrid to understand how badly he wants this. 

Indrid kneels, sets a hand on the small of his back, “Stay.”

The vampire makes quick work of his suspenders and pants, yanking them down to his ankles. Black gloves land near his left toe just as cold fingers caress the back of his thighs. 

“Mmmmmm, has anyone told you these” he squeezes, rubbing his thumb into the inner part of his thighs, “are downright sinful?”

“N-not for awhile.”

“A shame.” Indrid nips the left side of his ass, snickering when he swears. His right hand slips between Duck’s legs, rubbing his dick once before teasing up and down his folds.

“My, my, that is flattering. A handsome hunter, wet just for me.”

“Indrid, I swear, if you don’t stop teasin I'm gonna get my cross from wherever you tossed it.”

“I don’t think you are” Indrid rubs more roughly, neither touching his dick or sliding inside, “I think you are going to stay right here and let me sample this” he slaps Duck’s ass lightly, “for as long as I like.”

Duck giggles, “sample? It ain’t a whiskeyEEh, fuck, oh fuck me.” He thunks his head into his forearm as Indrid scatters bite marks across the sensitive skin. He’s not taking blood with them, seems content to watch the purple and red bruises as they bloom. 

Three fingers push up into him and he yelps, surprised.

“You did ask me to fuck you.” Indrid’s tone is level even as the slick sound of his fingers fucking him fill up the room. 

“It, it was, AHHnnn, a figure of, of speech, you, you fuckin-”

“Choose your words carefully, my sweet.”

“--unfairly good lookin, menace of a vampire.”

He’s spun fast enough to get dizzy, still trapped against the shelves by Indrid’s hands on his hips.

“I’ll show you a menace.” Is all he says before closing his lips around Duck’s dick, fingers still curving and thrusting inside him.

“You, y-you, fuck, and I got real different definitions of menaceOhhhhhh yeah, fuck yes, Indrid, that’s so good,” He cuts off into whimper when Indrid’s head dips down to bite his inner thigh. Threading his fingers into silvery hair gets him another bite and a moan of approval, Indrid continuing to rove his mouth between his dick and his thighs, sounding all the while like he’s enjoying a gourmet meal. 

“Sh-shit, Indrid, I’m close, keep doin that, pleaseplease” just as the orgasm starts building, Indrid pulls away, sitting on his heels with his hands in his lap.

“Is somethin wrong?”

The vampire stands, hands caressing Duck’s hips, cock hard beneath his dress pants,“There are rules, sweet one. Humans who break into my home to kill me do not get to cum.”

Duck whines, only to have Indrid shush him like he’s a fussing dog before kissing him.

“I, however, do get to cum” He undoes his fly, “using whatever method I see fit.”

There’s a tremendous ripping noise as he grabs Duck’s left thigh, pulling it up to hook precariously around his hip, as Duck’s still-booted foot tears out the cuff of his pants. 

“And you, dearest hunter, are the method I prefer.”

With that, he shoves his cock into him, dropping his head to kiss his neck as a Duck moans without caring who hears him. 

“Goodness, it’s been so long since I had my way with a human, I, I forgot how warm it is.”

“Warm you up whenever you want darlin. Fuck, fuck” He tries to hold his own weight but it’s getting harder, as all he wants to do is go limp and let Indrid take whatever he wants. His head is swimming with the slap of connecting skin and the protests of the bookcase, with Indrid’s moans as the vampire noses his neck. 

“Ah, this will do nicely.”

That same moment of complete tension, his body reacting to the teeth piercing his skin. He tightens around Indrid, weakly bucks his hips in search of release as the vampire switches to furious, sharp thrusts, releasing Duck’s neck with a messy gasp. 

“Nmmm, I hate to stop, but I hate even more for you to grow weak and faint. After all, I need you awake until I am finished.” He presses Ducks thigh up, the angle borderline painful, as his hips stutter. Duck’s nails dig into the wooden shelf as Indrid’s words sink deeper and deeper into his core. He moans at the thought of letting the vampire fuck and feed from him until he passes out, of being helpless in a bed somewhere, his world starting and ending with-

“Indrid” he whimpers as the vampire cums, slamming all the way in and grinding with high gasps as he finishes in him. 

Slowly, his foot finds the ground and Indrid holds him closer, both of them panting. Duck wraps his arms around his waist, rubbing his cheek against the soft fabric of his jacket. 

“You really ain’t lettin me cum?”

“I believe my rules were quite clear.”

He sighs happily, the denial somehow just as pleasant to his mind as the completion would be. Indrid smiles as he presses a kiss to his temple, laughs softly when Duck gives one to his shoulder in response. He feels so safe here, Indrid draped around him, that reality’s return is akin to a knife in the gut.

“What happens now?”

“Well” Indrid pets Ducks hair, “as of this moment, there are two futures; you depart, are scolded by your fellow hunters and assassins, and return next week with the same goal that brought you here tonight. Or, you prove just as stubborn as you were earlier tonight, and come back to me tomorrow evening, heedless of your mission.”

“Seems to me there’s one of those you'd like me to do.”

Indrid steps back, still holding him but able to more easily meet his eyes, “There is one I would prefer, yes. But ultimately it is not up to me to tell you which path to take. Your destiny is yours to decide, even if you decide something that does not work in my favor.”

This is too heavy a conversation to get into with his pants down. Not when he’s not sure what the right thing for his town, his friends, himself is. Not when Indrid is still so close, smile blood-tinted but so tender Duck wants to tuck it away and keep it safe.

He knows what he wants, just not what he should do.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll think about it.”

Indrid nods,guides him in for one final kiss, soft and sweet as a sunrise, “That is all I ask.”

-----------------------------------------

He watches Duck from the bedroom window, his figure growing fainter the further he gets down the road.

Then the human turns, pausing long enough for Indrid to realize he sees him. Not knowing what else to do, he waves.

Even from this distance, his night vision lets him catch the flash of that smile. The hunter blows him a kiss, which he pretends to catch.

And the futures of Duck coming back to him tomorrow night jump another twenty percent.

[scone-lover]

@findingniamho​

HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 

Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!

So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 

So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.

Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.

Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--

“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”

I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 

As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--

t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.

(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)

Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 

Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.

I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 

“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”

This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 

Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 

There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.

I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.

I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.

I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.

A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.

I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.

I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”

PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 

And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.

I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 

I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.

Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 

I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 

Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.

Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.

I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.

I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either

“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”

I know. This one’s bad.

He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.

I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.

I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 

Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.

Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.

“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”

I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.

Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.

“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 

Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain—there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.

Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet

I think Penny is just me in this.

“Over-easy,” I whisper.

“That was over-easy,” he says.

Not my best. But it had to be in there.

I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:

I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  

My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.

Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:

You're washed out, egghead

*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk

I had to go "beat" some eggs

*uppercut* Sunny side UP!

I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’

Some people are just bad eggs

Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 

[mishamccarthy]

Who Wants To Live Forever

What do you get when Dean decides to stay at the ripe age of 14 to avoid dealing with the Mark? Sam’s brotherly care, patience, and lots and lots of bickering. Set just after 10x12. One-shot.

Sam is still shocked sometimes when he glances to the right, and remembers there's a reason Dean's not driving. It was pitch black on an empty dirt road when he did it again. The only sound was the radio turned low enough to match the purr of the Impala, and Sam realized he'd gotten used to a more quiet vehicle. Less random radio blasts. Less jokes. Less glances. It used to be that Dean would pointedly ignore a bitchface from Sam, or meet it with his own grin. But now when Sam found himself looking over for a reassuring gaze, his heart shrank a tad. Dean wasn't just an inch or two downward—when he made the mistake of looking that high, it was just the window. Dean was more like a foot down. Leaning against the door, eyes drawn to the passing brush.

He felt inclined to say something. Anything. They'd left the last abandoned house an hour ago, and the older of the Winchesters—the younger?—had hardly said a word since. It wasn't like him. Dean kept insisting he was fine, and Sam knew better. There hadn't really been a difference attitude-wise at the start, however, so he said little on the subject. It was weird for him. It was definitely weird for Dean. Usually, ignoring these kinds of things let them both get past it. They’d had plenty of time to adjust, and neither of them had done anything to each other. There shouldn't have been such a distance between them.

An inquiry about why Dean seemed so solemn was on the tip of his tongue when he noticed Dean was cradling his right arm, and almost nonchalantly hiding it from view. "Dean," he said, turning the music off subconsciously.

"Yeah?" came the high pitched voice, still directed towards the window. It wasn't incredibly high pitched, but it was too high for Sam's liking. It wasn't Dean.

"What the hell happened to your arm?"

"You saw me thrown into that wall," he answered defensively. What little Sam could see of his brother's face made it seem like Dean had caught himself acting defensively. Abnormal. Normal, now. "It's nothing. I'll pop a Tylenol and be good for tomorrow."

He sighed. That could be a lie, but he really didn't know. It might be better for Dean if he ignored it, or there may truly be a problem Dean wanted to keep hidden—which would inevitably backfire at some point.

-------

When Dean heard a second sigh within the minute, he knew Sam wasn't impressed. Since when had that changed? His younger brother was always griping about something. The question had merit this time, though. His wrist hurt like hell to move and he was pretty sure it was swelling, neither of which could be any good. The funny thing was that Sam managed to complain less than before. Or at least, he seemed to be letting a lot more things go. Dean knew why. He didn't like the rationale, but it would be pretty unreasonable to get angry that someone was agreeing with you all the time, even if they were doing so out of pity.

"Dude, what's up with the arm?" Sam repeated three songs and an ad break later. The fidgeting to his right was almost distracting.

"If you're using this as a break-in to mullet rock discussion, I ain't interested."

"No, Dean—really. Do you want me to pull over?"

"Hell no. Why?"

Sam felt himself sighing again before he could prevent it. He didn't feel like getting into an argument, so his reply took a moment. "You know, bones don't stop growing until you're out of puberty—"

"Sam. C'mon, man, can't I not hear about stunted growth for one day?"

The brothers' eyes met for the first time in a while. Neither said anything for a minute. "... Is it broken?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean directed his gaze back to the outside world, which was moving by slightly slower. "I don't think so. I'm fine."

"You're fourteen, and y—"

"No, I'm not." The words came out decisively, as if a lot of time had been reserved for thinking about it. Yet Sam heard it no differently from a typical it's-not-a-faze tone.

"Yes, you are, Dean. You chose to stay young so that you'd lose the Mark of Cain. Your memory might be perfect, but you're more like a two-thousands' kid than an eighties. And you know what? Sometimes, you might not notice, but people think I'm your dad. They give me a hassle about why you're not in school, and all women in a hundred miles ask if I'm single. You—you see waitresses giving you free scoops of ice cream, and all I see is the vamp we're supposed to be tracking eyeing you like candy. I don't know how the hell you think this is a solution, but you're not you. Everything's not just—"

"Rainbows." Dean shifted in his seat so that he was faced towards the front of the Impala. "I know that, but now I'm not half demonic. I'm not about to cause some new apocalypse if I destroy the Mark. It wouldn't be perfect, but everything would be fine if you could just accept that."

"Accept that my brother is too young to go on hunts, drink, or hell, even drive? Accept that if anything—and I mean anything—gets its hands on you, you could be toast in an instant? I can't. I can't do that, Dean."

"I'm not a porcelain doll, Sammy."

"You're damn close. Hell, I know you know this. I… I see you grab beers every other minute. I held off telling you about this case because I didn't want you throwing up the booze before we were out the door. I can't even bring myself to remind you of how bad that is for your health because I need twice as many myself. It's… this will never work."

Dean refused to meet his eye. "I know you don't like it. You didn't like going to hell either, right?"

Hell. The Cage. "What about it?"

"You went there to stop Lucifer. Granted, my reason was far less noble, but I went to Hell so you’d be safe. And this…"

"They're all sacrifices. Always sacrifices." His knuckles on the steering wheel had turned white.

-------

Dusting off and bandaging up was still more awkward than before. Dean had cut his hands many a time, requiring his younger—older, at this point—brother's stitching, but now his hands were fresh and soft. They were also smaller and harder to work with. "Can't you hold still?" he mumbled.

When he looked up from where he knelt, Sam noticed tears on the edge of escape. Dean gave him a glare of confusion and then figured it out and turned his head away.

"You okay?" Scissors, snap, wrap. Everything was piled into a kit on the floor and thrown into a heap with Sam's other stuff.

" 'Course." His tear-filled voice claimed otherwise.

"Dean…"

He snatched his hand away and jumped onto the bed, his back to Sam. The less hormonal Winchester was feeling like an idiot more and more in recent weeks. On one hand, Dean didn't want, nor would he accept, being treated as anything less than the most capable man you've ever seen. On the other hand... all of his knowledge was basically useless if he couldn't put it to use. And he certainly could NOT make use of it in the body of a slim 14-year-old. But Dean didn't see things that way, and Sam was scared he never would. Almost every time they came back from a quick hunt he was hurt, and each time he noticed Dean mentally kicking himself. He didn't want to see that. He didn't want to piss off his brother either—not with the power he could hold over Dean now, physically. It didn’t feel right to get into a fight anymore. But despite his best efforts to make the most reasonable calls, Dean grew more distant every day.

OOOOO

Sam looked up from his laptop the next morning, only to see Dean taking more pills with his coffee. His eyes were slow to move away, and his older—younger?—brother finally caught him staring.

He wondered if Dean would start screaming or something. He had no idea at this point.

Boom. There he was in the opposing chair, at the other end of the cheap wooden table. Dean looked way more worn and sleep-deprived than even a stressed high schooler, but Sam kept his eyes locked on a police report. Anything he said at this point served to make things worse.

"Everything hurts so much more."

Alright, police report be damned. Dean doesn't whine. He certainly doesn't sit down to the table and softly explain what's bothering him.

"I know, I know." His younger—older? Sam's brother raised a hand. "But you're giving me weird looks. I do notice when I'm drawing the chicks' attention for you, dude. Just thought I'd tell you about... this, so you know I'm not trying to overdose or something stupid."

Sam couldn't stop a small chuckle. "Are you sure it's just badly bruised?"

"Yeah. Guess I just felt less pain as I got older."

He flipped his long hair back a bit in relief. "Honestly, I was worried you were going to go emo-teen on me."

"Give it two more years."

[boat-dock]

“Knowing You is for the Better” chapter 8

just Hope being soft for Josie the entire time

They spent the whole weekend exploring the city, Hope took them through her favorite places, restaurants, shops, and even the clock tower where her aunt Freya set up all her witch things. Hope had missed her friends exponentially, even as the weekend game to a close she wished they could stay longer. After an entire day in the bayou, on the river with Ava and Logan and a bonfire that night, the girls all piled up in Hope’s family room to stay up late watching movies. 

After gorging themselves with popcorn and candies, they finally called it a night and went slowly to their respective rooms. Hope, however, still wasn’t ready to sleep. Instead, she pulled countless books off her shelves to read a few pages then left them discarded all over her room. Slowly her attention shifted to her art, she got her sketchbook and began idly drawing, trying to calm her brain. Time crawled past until the moon was high and the city's nightlife was in full swing.

She’s snapped out of her head, by a knock on her door, after checking the clock she opens the door to see Josie on the other side.

“Hey sorry I hope I didn’t wake you,” Josie said shyly as she welcomed her into her room. Josie glanced around, taking in everything she saw. Hope’s room was a mess and her cheeks reddened slightly as she tried to tidy subtly. 

“No, not at all,” she said, “I wasn’t sleeping, were you?” she asked, taking a seat on her bed. 

“Lizzie was and I didn’t want to wake her so I figured I’d come bother you,” Josie jokes, poking Hope in the side, causing her to laugh. 

“You’re never a bother Jo, you know that,” 

Josie blushed and went back to looking around the room. Her eyes landed on Hope’s paintings all piled in the corner. There was a half-finished one on the easel that was a swirl of colors, and if Josie squinted her eyes, she could imagine they were flowers. She started sorting through the various paintings leaned against the wall. She lands on one that is a nighttime view of New Orleans, Josie sighed,” I wish I could see the world the way you do Hope,” she said absentmindedly, enthralled by the painting. 

“That’s one of my favorites,” Hope replied smiling before taking Josie’s hand and leading her away, through the door and out onto the balcony. “Come on let me show you something.” 

The city sprawled out around them, in a haze of noise and light, despite all the crazy people, Hope smiled as she watched everything. “Wow,” was all Josie could say,” It’s beautiful out here.” 

“Wait till you see this,” Hope said, bouncing and pulling her toward the corner of the balcony, where a trellis was attached to the wall. Hope started climbing without even thinking, she’d made this journey hundreds of times since she was a little girl. It took her a moment to realize that Josie wasn’t following her up, she stood back with wide eyes and an exasperated look. 

“You want me to climb up there?” she asked, eyeing the trellis and the roof that it led to,  ”No way,” 

An idea came to Hope and she acted without before she could second guess herself. Using her vampire speed she grabbed the siphoner and got them to her favorite spot on the roof in seconds. Josie yelped and grabbed onto her tightly when she saw where she was. Jose’s fear of heights was new to Hope, but she found it endearing. They sat down slowly and after a moment she calmed down, releasing Hope, but still staying close enough that if she fell Hope could catch her. 

“Does this look familiar?” Hope asked motioning toward the city beneath them. This was the scene that she painted, it had taken so many attempts to capture it the way she wanted, but she was finally happy with the way it turned out.

“It’s your painting,” Josie realized, relaxing slightly, she watched the city for a while, but Hope just watched her. She could see Josie straining to take in everything, she would smile at the shouting people below swaying to the never-ending music of the city. 

In an instant, Josie’s whole mood changed, her dark eyes turned sad and glassy, Hope felt like she could drown in them. “There’s so much out there to see,” she said quietly, almost like she was talking to herself,” I don’t want to die before I can see it,” Hope’s heart cracked and in that moment she would have given anything to erase the sadness from the younger girl's face.  

Between Malivore and the prison world and turning, Hope hadn’t focused on the merge like she should have. It was a major piece of the twins’ life, it quite literally determined which one of them would live and which one would die. The thought of losing one of them filled her with dread, she’d lost too many people already and she was not about to add the twins to that list.

“When we figure all of this out and stop the merge,” Hope started, determined to make her friend feel better,” I’ll take you anywhere in the world you want to go, you just have to give us some time,” 

Josie laughed bitterly,” my parents have had 16 years to solve this and they haven’t gotten anywhere,” 

“Well, they didn’t have me,” Hope replied. Josie was tense, Hope could tell that there was something more on her mind, that she wasn’t sharing. She just didn’t know how to get her to open up. “What’s on your mind?” maybe all she had to do was ask. 

“I’ve got an idea,” she said slowly like she wasn’t sure exactly how to say this,” my parents will hate it, so I can’t tell them, but maybe you and I can work on it together,” Hope waited patiently for her to continue and when she did it was like she moved backward 3 steps,” I learned about this women, her name is Valerie Tulle, she’s an old member of the Gemini coven and she survived when everyone else died.”

“How?” Hope asked, leaning forward slightly. 

“She’s a heretic,” she whispered and Hope realized exactly what she was alluding to, she must’ve made a distressed noise because Josie turned to her with a renewed zeal and started explaining her plan,” Look if you turn me we can stop all of this, I won’t be able to merge with Lizzie and this can finally be over,” 

Hope couldn’t shoot the idea down, because it was better than any idea that she had, which was none, but that didn’t mean that she had to agree to help her,” You’re right that’s an option,” she said, dancing lightly around her words.

Josie deflated next to her, “You won’t do it,” she said, reading Hope like a book. 

“Answer me this, do you really want to be 16 years-old forever?” she asked, nudging her shoulder. 

“Better that than being dead,” 

“How about a compromise,” Hope suggested, which was met with a confused look,” you come back to me when you’re 21 and if we don’t have this figured out by then then we’ll talk about it, deal?” she asked.

“Vampire at 21 and seeing the world at 22, what a life,” Hope took that as confirmation. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company. Josie shivered next to her, goosebumps forming along her arms. It was a chilly night, but Hope didn’t even notice, she never felt the cold. She moved closer to her friend silently offering up her heat, which Josie happily accepted. She leaned her head on Hope’s shoulder, finally feeling the drowsiness that should have claimed her hours ago, she started talking about whatever came to her mind,” You know when Lizzie and I first got to the city we went to this little cafe and after you sent us that note, which I still haven’t figured out how you did by the way,” she laughed,” we asked them if they knew you and where we could find you and they sent us the parade but they also said that everyone in the city knew who you were,” 

“You talked to Benny and Ms. Sheila,” Hope answered smiling,” they’re friends of mine,” she wasn’t exactly sure where the brunette was going with the conversation so she decided to just talk,” and they’re right, my family basically built this city. Once my family was treated like royalty, my dad used to tell me that that made me a princess. We’ve won wars and lost them here and more than a few of them were fought over me, so yeah for better or worse they know who I am,” she knew she was rambling, but it was nice to talk about this, so any people didn’t want to know a thing about her family, they would rather just pretend Hope was normal. 

“I think knowing you is for the better Hope Mikaelson,” Josie said softly. Hope’s entire body tensed with emotion, her throat closed and she found herself unable to speak. 

Josie always managed to surprise her, in the best ways,” you once asked me why I liked you,” she choked out, struggling to put her feelings into words. Josie sat upright, shocked by her words,” You are so kind Josie, genuinely kind, do you know how many people have been genuinely kind to me in my life. I’ll get you a hint it’s not very many, but you, you say things just like that without even think, and I shatter into a million pieces,” 

She couldn’t meet Josie’s eyes, she’s not sure what would happen if she did. Every star could simultaneously fall from the sky and she wouldn’t notice. “You’re a nice person to Hope,” Josie said, with an earth shattering smile,” you saved uncle Matt's life and you’re still friends with Roman after everything that happened,” Hope had a feeling that she would keep listing things if she didn’t cut her off.

“Being forgiving isn’t the same as being kind,” Hope pushed back. The clock chimed once in the distance, loud and clear, breaking through the drunken noises below them.”come on you should get some rest, you have a long day of travel tomorrow,” 

Josie’s face contorted at the thought of having to climb her way off the roof,” can you just vamp us down please,” Hope chuckled and grabbed Josie’s waste, the younger girl squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them they were back on the balcony. Only slightly disoriented they went back into Hope’s room. 

“Do we really have to go back home tomorrow?” Josie whined, swinging her arms. 

If it were up to Hope she would let the twins stay forever, but sadly their parents had other ideas,” I barely talked your dad into letting you stay this long,” Hope laughed,” any longer he might come down here and drag you back himself,” 

Josie stopped a ways from the door before turning back to face Hope, she was wringing her hands together like she was nervous,” do you think I could crash here tonight, I don’t want to wake Lizzie up, you know how cranky she can get.”

For the first time Hope noticed the dark circles under the younger girls eyes,” yeah of course,” Hope replied, pulling the covers back.  

As they crawled into bed Josie spoke up again,” When are you going to come back to school Hope?”

Hope had been wondering the same thing herself. As much as she loved it here with her family, she was actually hoping to graduate on time, and it was much harder to focus on schoolwork here than it was there. “Nik’s birthday is next weekend, I think i’ll come back after that,” 

Josie grinned. Hope ignored it when she heard her heartbeat speed up as they settled into bed, and when they awoke early the next morning entangled with each other, Hope ignored that too. 

[gimmeyoon]

Drink About [1]

       ↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Jin

       ↳ Setting: College AU

       ↳ Word Count: 4.3k

       ↳ Warnings: mentions of binge drinking, language

       ↳ Songs: Waste It One Me by Steve Aoki ft. BTS and Hands by the Vamps

       ❝you just wanted to get drunk and dance and now he’s all you think about❞

| Next

    There’s nothing quite as humbling as vomiting in a fraternity bathroom with two people getting it on in the stall next to you.

    Sana hits at the stall wall as if that will stop the wild animals from doing exactly what they came here to do. Joy tries to sooth you as she pulls your hair out of your face, but she’s so drunk and it’s clear she wishes she was anywhere else at this point. You have to agree with her on that.

    If your life was a cheesy teen romantic comedy, a record would scratch and an older, wiser version of yourself would say, ‘I’m sure you’re wondering how I wound up in this mess.” Though, you figure no one would stay to watch a movie that starts this utterly disgusting. The prop department could have at least mopped the floor before letting your bare ass sit on tiles hopefully made sticky by spilt alcohol, though the moment of sobriety that comes as one is barfing up their brains tells you that’s only one of the residues at best. You suppose the fashion department wouldn’t have let you walk on set without underwear under your dress the way that Joy and Sana had.

    “Honestly, _____, fuck him,” Sana says, abandoning her attempt to stop the actual fucking happening right next to you. “If he’s already with Chaeyoung, then he’s an even bigger fuckboy than any of us thought, and we do not cry over fuckboys.”

    You wonder if you’re supposed to respond as you dry heave next to your friend, but figure Sana will understand. She does have a point though, your makeup is absolutely ruined at this point, which is more than he deserves.

    It’s a process. Sitting in front of your mirror on a Friday night, you carefully beat your face to the gods in preparation for your favorite part of the week. It’s the same every time, the plans slightly different, but the process the same. Your shift at the gym’s reception desk ends at 5:00 and you head back to your apartment where you become slightly jealous at the sight of Joy napping on the couch and head back to your room. You stare at your closest until you figure out which of your outfits sparks joy, Marie Kondo style, and then you grab your tools. You turn on one of your favorite beauty guru’s videos and then the craft begins.

    Joy never misses a chance to tease you about the pure time commitment this process is, but you haven’t been late to a pregame yet.

    Now in your second year of college, you can say without a doubt that this process is the highlight of your week. Sure, occasionally something happens that outshines it, but it’s a constant. You have three hours secured to yourself where it’s just you and tasks that at the end of the day mean very little, but when finished, you have something to show for yourself. It’s about the only productive thing you allow on Friday night.

    You surprise your friends back home with how often you go out, but you promised yourself after a failing your first class Freshmen year due to the sheer amount of time you spent with your friends that you would focus completely on school work during the week and that on the weekend you would let yourself be free and unstructured. Joy and Sana knew better than anyone how hard it was to get you to deviate from your color-coded planner for even the tiniest thing. They liked to joke that if they didn’t schedule getting fries at McDonald’s with you three weeks in advance, there wouldn’t be an opening. They weren’t that far off.

    The weekend was different. It was the only time you let yourself give into the part of your soul that screamed to live life on the edge.

    That was how you had ended up at Beta Tau Sigma months ago with Joy and Sana by your side. You were standing in the kitchen talking to the one member of the fraternity that Joy knew when you saw him for the first time.  

    Well, for the first time in person. You had followed Jungkook on Instagram after one of your friends had tagged him in their photo. He had followed back, and you could always count on a like from him on your posts.

    You grabbed Joy’s arm when you saw him, drawing everyone’s attention towards yourself and the deer in headlights look you could only imagine was on your face.

    “What,” Hoseok asked as he followed your gaze. “You look like you saw a ghost. Do I need to kick some asshole out?”

    “No, sorry. I-I thought I saw someone, but I was wrong.”

    “You sure? Taehyung’s too nice, he’ll just let anyone in.”

    You smiled as you released your grip on Joy’s arm. “Seriously, it was nothing. I think I just need a drink.”

    Hoseok nodded and motioned upstairs. “We keep the good stuff upstairs, and since Joy is the only reason I’m going to pass the human machine, you guys are welcome to it. Consider it my penance.”

    “Oh, so you know penance, but an introductory biology class is too much?” Joy teased as you followed Hoseok.

    “My dad’s a literature professor so he used big words at dinner and made us figure them out. I learned penance when I hid my sister’s laptop in the attic.” Hoseok leads you into the first room on the right and pulls back a curtain to reveal a fully stocked bar. “Jimin’s really into mixology and also showing off his money. So, help yourself,” he said with a dramatic bow.

    “Hoseok, when I say you’re my hero, I want you to really hear me,” you said. “You are my hero and two shots from now, I will tell you that repeatedly.”

    “She’s a very nice drunk,” Sana confirms as she pulls a bottle of tequila from the bar. She pours four shots from the bottle and after those have been forced down, she pours another four.

     That’s how you find the courage to move onto the dance floor, an act that normally doesn’t require much liquid confidence. It’s also an act that doesn’t usually include being as close to Jungkook as it currently has you.

     “Joy,” you start with a giggle. “How many times do I have to look at Jeon Jungkook for him to get the message that I want to put my ass on his dick and pose on that shit?”

     “Firstly, if you ever quote a New Boyz song in presence again, you will be excommunicated from our apartment. Secondly, I think it’s going to take more than a look to communicate all of that.”

    “Not if I have very expressive eyes,” you say with a wiggle of your eyebrows.

    “If you do that, he’ll file a restraining order with the college,” Joy laughs.

    “Joy,” you whine.

    “_____,” she teases. “Seriously, you are a 21st century woman, just tell that boy that you want to dance.”

    “If he says no, I can never show my face here again, you know that, right?”

    “We’ll throw the whole fraternity away if we have to, babe.”

    You decide that a sensible person would at least wait for the song to change before making their move, so three songs later you turn to acquire your target. He’s standing with one of his friends, Jimin you think, and you hate how good he looks. He’s in all black, like he usually is, but the dance room is so hot that his normally straight hair now frames his face in waves. You push back the thought that this is what his hair would look like after sex and make your way across the floor. He’s just a boy, you remind yourself the closer you get. Then you’re there, and you realize you probably should have practiced what you were going to say to him during the previous three songs. And now as Usher guides your movements, it’s too late.

    He looks over as you approach and he offers you a smile, which you know is meant to be inviting, but he looks so damn good that it makes your arms break out in goosebumps.

    “Hi,” you manage with a smile.

    “Hi.”

    You think you might let the silence fall for a beat too long, because Jungkook’s friend that may or may not be named Jimin has the time to look between the two of you before you continue.

    “I follow you on Instagram,” is out of your mouth before you can stop it, and you can feel your ears visibly redden once you realize how stupid that sounds.

     He laughs and you pray to whatever god might be listening that he wasn’t laughing at you.

     “I follow you too,” he says.

     “Thanks for that,” you cringe. It’s silent again for a beat too long, but then you think some god must have been listening, because his friend becomes your second hero of the night.

     “He’d love to dance with you,” Maybe Jimin says as he pushes Jungkook in your direction, and that’s exactly the intervention you need to reach out for his hand.

      You pull Jungkook through the crowd of people and begin to dance with him as soon as you find a spot that doesn’t make you feel claustrophobic. You think for a second how ironic it is to find an open space when you place your hips flush with his and begin to dance to whatever overplayed song the fraternity brother playing DJ has chosen.

      He’s a better dancer than you would have guessed, his hips moving heavenly with the music, and the way he hardens beneath you helps heighten the confidence the alcohol gave you. His body is strong behind yours, and for a moment you wish you hadn’t had so much to drink because then you might have invited him back to your place to see what his body felt like on top of yours.

    It’s four songs later when the sound of his name breaks your heart.

    “Jeon!” Someone yells, from across the room, causing Jungkook to pull away from you and search for his friend. He must find him when he grabs your hand and pulls you with him. The culprit is smiling as you meet him and motions for you to follow him. “We need two more for beer pong and it’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is.”

    Jungkook looks back at you, “Do you want to play?”

    Considering your options appear to be leaving Jungkook to writhe around in the dance room with some other people that you are absolutely no longer interested in or play a drinking game with Jungkook and potentially speak to him about something other than the fact that you follow him on Instagram, you do not hesitate to say yes.

    You find out two things about Jungkook very quickly. Firstly, he is very good at beer pong and secondly, he is very competitive, which the first thing helps.

    “Taehyung is going to regret asking us to play,” Jungkook smiles as he hands you a ping pong ball.

    “Less trash talking, and more playing, yeah?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.

     “Don’t rush my partner, yeah?” Jungkook copies Taehyung’s stature, and you can’t help but laugh at how theatrical he is.

     “Patience is a virtue, young Taehyung,” you say as you aim for a red solo cup.

     The ball lands in the drink with a satisfying slosh and Jungkook high-fives your success. It’s five more games of this and then your stomach betrays you. No longer are you focused on winning. No, now you are focused on feeding whatever beast entered your system with the alcohol.

     “Jungkook,” you start. “How do you feel about shenanigans?”

     His head tilts to the side as he looks at you. “Shenanigans?”

     “Do you trust me?”

     He smiles and nods his head. “Lead the way, Captain,” he says with a salute.

     Your fingers intertwine with his as you lead him out of the fraternity house and onto the streets.

     “Shenanigans,” you say turning around to look at him, continuing to walk backwards, “are what happens after the party. Anything can be a shenanigan if you really set your mind to it.”

     “And what does tonight have in store for us,” he asks.

     “Well, Jungkook, I hope you’re hungry. Because it’s waffle time.”

     “Lucky for you,” he laughs. “I’m always hungry.”

     You laugh as well as you turn in a circle. When you stop your whirling, you find Jungkook’s arms braced, clearly ready to catch you.

     “You’re going to fall, drunkie.”

     “Please call me by my government name, Drunkard Joseph Montgomery Alabama the third.”

     “Wow, that is a name.”

     “Thank you, it was my father’s and his father’s before him.”

     “Thus, the third.”

     “Thus, the third,” You laugh.

     The fluorescent lights of your local Waffle House should make Jungkook look slightly worse for wear as you know they are doing to you and as they do to most humans, but clearly Jungkook is not like the rest of the mere mortals that roam this Earth, because you swear to god his eyes sparkle as he looks at the plastic menu before him. He keeps switching between the breakfast and the lunch/dinner side of the menu, mumbling under his breath that his not sure which he’s in the mood for at the moment.

    You do not face the same problem, as you order the All-Star breakfast every time. There has never been a moment where you have sat in these yellow booths and not wanted waffles. You figure if the establishment is named after a specific food, you should probably order that food, and you’re just about to tell Jungkook as much when he sets his menu down and looks up at you.

    “I have decided,” he said, his tone serious.

    “Do tell.”

    “Burger,” he smiled.

    “Wrong.”

    His face falls at this. “Wrong?”

    “We’re at Waffle House, the only right answer is waffles.”

    “Wrong,” he responds, copying your tone from before. “They sell more than just waffles; therefore, you are meant to order things other than waffles as well.”

     “Okay, IHOB.”

     “What did you just call me?” he asks, his face breaking into a large smile.

     “IHOB, as in the International House of Burgers,” you stick your tongue out, which earns a laugh from your companion. “When in Rome, order waffles.”

     “I don’t think that’s the saying,”

     “I don’t think this is a burger establishment.”

     The waitress approaches your booth at this moment, and Jungkook quickly places his burger order, sticking his tongue out at you as she writes his burger on the ticket.

     “And since I’m a responsible adult, I’ll be having the All-Star breakfast,” you said when it was your turn to order.

    The waitress nods as she writes down your order, “Bacon, sausage, or ham.”

    “Sausage, please.”

    “Wrong,” Jungkook responds as the waitress walks away. “The only valid choice when bacon is an option is bacon.”

    “Oh, grow up,” you roll your eyes. “Sausage is a valid option.”

    He shakes his head, “Only when bacon isn’t available.”

    “Pretty bold talk from a guy who might be asking me to choose his sausage later.”

     He reddens at this, his eyes widening, but never leaving your face. The words were out of your mouth before you could think better, and you’re pretty sure the only reason you don’t get up and leave is because you’re still pretty drunk.

     Jungkook shakes his head, as a smile spreads across his face. “I don’t think any bacon will be present at that moment, so sausage would be a valid choice.”

     You can’t help but laugh at this, and Jungkook joins you. You talk about school after you calm down, and you’ve started to talk about your hometowns by the time the waitress brings your meals. You both shake your heads at the other’s order, causing the laughter to return, and it takes a few moments before you can actually begin to eat.

     You’re almost finished with your waffle, when you realize everyone else in the restaurant is focused on the staff behind the counter. Jungkook is telling you a story about his older brother, but you can’t focus as you try and figure out what has everyone’s attention. You’re not sure if it’s the fact that you’re drunk, or the fact that talking to Jungkook comes so naturally, but you’ve completely missed the altercation brewing between the staff. Their voices get louder with each word, and before it can get any worse, you take money out of your wallet, quickly making sure that it is enough to cover both meals plus the tip and stand up. You reach for Jungkook’s hand, while he stares up at you dumbfounded, and you make your way for the door. You’re just about to make it out, when one of the employees finally makes contact with the other. You freeze at the action, and stand stunned, not sure if you’re waiting to see if he’s okay or if anyone will do anything to stop it. The next thing you know, the punched employee, is grabbing the other by the shirt and throwing him against the counter.

    Jungkook takes action at this, pulling you out the door with him and through the parking lot. You turn to look at Jungkook with wide eyes, not sure how your shenanigan ended up quite like this.

    “Holy shit,” he breathes, as he rakes a hand through his hair. “I guess that’s Waffle House at 2:00 a.m. for you.”

    You can’t help but laugh at this, though you feel a bit of guilt considering how awful the situation is. Jungkook smiles at this and for that alone you’re glad that you laughed.

    “Come on,” you say, as you look at your surroundings. “There’s a river around here, I want to show you.”

    Jungkook follows, not having dropped your hand yet, and you walk like this in the direction of the park you like to go to sometimes. It’s pitch-black as you near the location, which causes you to grip Jungkook’s hand a bit tighter than before. If he’s as nervous as you, he doesn’t let on, but he does pull his phone from his pocket and turn his flashlight on, which you are thankful for. Your pace quickens after this, the excitement of showing Jungkook the river driving you forward, and when you arrive, you drop his hand before skipping towards the bank.

    You turn around to face him, positively beaming as you stretch your arms as if to say here it is, the grand finale, and Jungkook matches your wide smile. He walks towards you, as you bend down to take your shoes off. When you look back up, he’s looking at you with confusion on his face.

    “Well, I’m not going to wear my shoes into the water,” you answered.

    “We’re going in the water?”

    “Shenanigans, Jungkook. They’re not done yet,” you said, as you turned around and made your way into the river. The silence of the night is inviting, and you find yourself closing your eyes and leaning your head back in relaxation. You hear Jungkook wade in behind you, and you only open your eyes when his movement stops.

    He’s looking at you and he smiles when your eyes meet his. “How did you find this place?”

    “I used to babysit these kids freshmen year, and their mom took them to this park.”

    “I haven’t really left campus that much,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’d be nice to run here though.”

    You nod in agreement, turning to look up at the few stars above. Jungkook reaches for your hand in the dark, and you reach back, feeling comforted by his presence here. You think for a moment that it’s nice that you two can just stand here in the silence like this, and you’re about to say something to that effect, when suddenly Jungkook sends a wave of water hurtling towards you. You’re shocked when you look down to see him crouched, ready to splash you again.

    “Shenanigans,” he says, simply, as he launches another attack on you.

    This time you’re prepared, and you block your face, though it does very little to help. Quickly, you’re crouching as well, not one to go down without a fight, and soon both of you are soaking wet and breathless. Jungkook’s hair hangs heavy around his face, water dripping from his black locks onto his cheeks, and you hate to even think about the state that your makeup is in now.

    The smirk on Jungkook’s face, tells you all you need to know, and you shake your head in response. “I look like a monster, right?”

    “You could convincingly be cast in a horror movie.”

     You give him the middle finger at this, before trudging back to land. You’re about halfway back, when you hear Jungkook running after you, and as you turn around to see what he is doing, he’s wrapping his arms around your middle and picking you up.

     “Jeon Jungkook!” you scream, as you pound at his back. “Put me down.”

     He only laughs in response, carrying you the rest of the way to the shore. He finally complies with your demand, placing you underneath a tree. He sits down, and when you don’t immediately follow, he pats the space beside him, looking up at you with big eyes.

    You chuckle as you join him at the base of the tree, and he smiles triumphantly.

    “Maybe it’s too soon to call, but I think I might be better at shenanigans than you.”

    You scoff. “You made me look like the grudge. That is foul play and not allowed during a night of shenanigans.”

    “Oh, excuse me. I was under the impression that there was only one rule and that was to have fun.”

    “I am not having fun.”

    “You’re not?” he frowns. “I don’t know, seemed like you were having fun.”

    “Nope, not anymore. I spent too much time and money on this makeup to consider this fun.”

    “What a shame,” he smiles. “I kind of like this look.”

    “Really?” you deadpan.

    “Yeah, it says ‘just know that if you ever break up with me, I will murder your ass.’”

    “Oh, good. That’s the energy I want to be putting out into the world.”

    Jungkook laughs. “You’re very welcome for helping you achieve your truest form.”

    You’re silent for a beat after this, both of you smiling widely at each other, and you think that you are in no rush to get home. You think that he may lean in and kiss you, because he keeps looking down at your lips, and he moves slightly forward, but his eyes completely leave yours, and he’s reaching for something on the ground instead.

    You’re about to stand up and leave, your new found sobriety horrified that you might have just embarrassed yourself, but then Jungkook is looking at you again and smiling.

   “A geode,” he said, bring a rock between the two of you. “My dad and I used to collect this when I was little.”

   You nod your head, not sure what to say because your brain just keeps screaming about how much of an idiot you are but also how cute he is, and it’s too much for you to come up with a reasonable response.

    “For you,” he smiles widely, as he reaches for your hand and places the rock into it. “Never forget our shenanigans.”

     “Never,” you agree, bringing the hand holding the rock to your heart.

      He beams at this and then stands up. “We should probably try and get home before the sun rises.”

     You nod your head, though you don’t agree. You would stay out here until the sun set again if you got to keep talking to Jungkook.  You begin the walk back to campus, showing Jungkook a shortcut you had found a few months ago, and when Jungkook should veer off to head back to his fraternity house, he keeps going straight with you. You try to fight the blush that creeps up your neck as you realize this.

    He’s talking animatedly about something Taehyung did a few weekends ago when you finally make it to your apartment. He seems to hesitate for a moment, but then he’s smiling and staying firmly on his side of the hallway.

   “Thanks for walking me back,” you said finally.

   “Of course,” he nods. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

    You nod your head as well, a bit disappointed that yet again he isn’t attempting to kiss you, and you think for a moment that maybe this meant way more to you than it did to him.

   “Tight,” he said. “Then I better get going. Goodnight, _____.”

   “Goodnight, Jungkook.” You watched as he walked down the hallway towards the exit, and once he was out of sight you unlock the front door and make you way inside.

     You sigh as you kick off your shoes and make your way further into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re taking your first sip when there’s a knock at the door. You check quickly to see who it is, and your heart races as familiar doe eyes stare back at you. Goosebumps cover your arms as you open the door.

   “Sorry, I just-” he nervously rubs at the back of his neck. “I forgot something,” he said, as he closed the distance between the two of you and pulled you into a kiss. Your damp clothes rub awkwardly against your body, and Jungkook’s burger breath catches you more off guard than the kiss itself, yet still you melt in his arms, and you think this is the kind of thing people write songs about.

    And when he’s pulling away, you think you want to capture the way he looks at you in a photo and look at it all day long.

    “Goodnight again, _____.”

© gimmeyoon — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or translation onto other sites even with proper credit given is not permitted.

[kaisooficrec]

College AU Request

This is part two of this post. 

Last college au request was over a year ago and since this is a very popular au the list is insanely long! There are some fics older than the last req but that weren’t recommended yet so I included those too ^^ enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos & comments to the authors ♡♡♡

La Taille Parfaite - (ongoing) soulmates au, kyungsoo dreams of his soulmate’s dick and can’t wait to meet him

Criminally Romantic - kyungsoo is an author and jongin is a huge fan

Yes, the Brisket is Braised - (ongoing) Kyungsoo works part-time in a restaurant in which he meets the campus’ most popular jock jongin and is an asshole to him

Our Season - (ongoing) wolf & abo, they’re in the same frat house and are attracted to each other, but there are other guys who want a piece of kyungsoo’s ass (read: junmyeon is a little piece of shit)

The Deflowering of Do Kyungsoo - (ongoing) kyungsoo is very insecure about himself but jongin loves him and wants to show him just how much 

Sucker + Supermassive Black Hole - last two parts of a series where the boys are in college, established relationship, they deal with the struggles of life and how to keep their love going

Flawless - (ongoing) kyungsoo likes to crossdress which make people judgmental about him. he thought jongin was like all those people who make fun of him but jongin genuinely likes him

this gap can’t keep us apart - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in college and takes the bus every morning where he meets businessman!jongin and they start talking and getting close. turns out jongin is sehun’s older brother who is kyungsoo’s friend and they meet at their house when jongin discovered his girlfriend cheated on him again

Prank Gone Wrong - kai is a known prankster, so his bf ksoo decides to prank him instead one day. it backfires in a way he didn’t expect

Coffee - jongin found out taemin cheated on him which led him to the cafe where kyungsoo works~

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing - (ongoing) ot12 vampire au, kyungsoo’s life has changed for good after discovering vamp!jongin’s secret

i just need the time and place to come through - after ksoo’s been dumped jongin wants to teach how to fuck around, until he realizes he doesn’t want anyone else to have kyungsoo but him

run batted in - sports au, they’re from different colleges and during a competition they meet and voilà it’s instant love

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in a studio art class and jongin is his nude model

lately all i want is you on top of me - *cries hearts* they both think they’re straight until jongin accidentally sends a pic of his ass to kyungsoo and it marks the beginning of their gayness

Campaigning For Your Heart - elections au, enemies to lovers, they both support different people and get into heated arguments, which is all just bottled up sexual tension really

there are no wrong mistakes - /heart attack/ kyungsoo is a homebody who’s quiet and thinks he is boring. his roommate’s best friend thinks otherwise. 

Pay Me Some Mind - (how was this not recced before? lol) fwb to lovers, kyungsoo doesnt know jongin’s had a crush on him for a while but that doesn’t stop him from catching feelings

Hurricanes - *my absolute fav* bad boy!jongin meets not-so-innocent!soo and they fuck, but kyungsoo thinks its a mistake and jongin is intrigued (liiiight angst)

You times infinite - they become study buddies and then kyungsoo is turned into a vampire and doesn’t know how to stay close to jongin without hurting him

A Certain Romance - sports au, they’re from different schools but during a competition, a certain captain catches ksoo’s attention and maybe he’s interested in football after all

Signal Lost (& Found) - /looooove this/ soulmates & coffee shop au, jongin gets tattoos of what his soulmate draws since he was a child and then one day it disappears, and he’s confused about what happened to his soulmate

Just Say You Want Me (That’s All It Takes) - god yes. established relationship and library fucking with top!soo and slut shaming. need i say more?

A Different Morning - (YEEEES) childhood bffs!kaisoo and vlogger!jongin, MUTUAL PINING but they’re both oblivious!!! 

Break a Leg - drama club au i liiiive for this! they had a one night stand and ksoo is kind of a bitter asshole who doesn’t want anything to do with super popular jongin after it

vertigo; crash - abo, omega!soo is accidentally put in the alpha dorms and jongin thinks he hates him

Clandestine Romance - arranged marriage but they love each other, ksoo is in his last year of college and his husband turns up to become his new dance teacher

Pumped Up Kinks - (ongoing) kyungsoo goes to a gay strip club for his 21st birthday and gets more than he bargained for

We Can Go Home - broken kaisoo, jongin has to ask his ex for help in maths, and then... KISS & MAKE UP

Mirrors - (ongoing) ksoo is a famous youtuber whose fans start a online fanwar with kim jongin’s fans. he decides to be mature about it and text jongin himself to apologize

So You Have a Crush (Here's How You Grapple with It) - sports au, jongin is a taekwondo player and has a crush on the judo captain ksoo, and tries to get him to teach him chokehold techniques. (smutttt)

Hair - (ongoing) kyungsoo found out he has stage 2 spinal cancer, so he decides that he wants to take some risks before he has to die, like have sex with a guy. and this is how he meets jongin

If Only I Knew - soulmates au, jongin wants to wait to find his soulmate to be in a relationship but when he meets kyungsoo he changes his mind (warning: character death)

Some Kind of Start - ksoo likes jongin and the latter knows but chooses to ignore it since he doesn’t like him back. sehun asks ksoo to fake date so he can make junmyeon jealous, but jongin is also a victim of jealousy

hold onto me tight and never let go - het!kaisoo with fem!soo, she has trouble letting go of her barriers and jongin really wants to get to know her more

P.S. You're Cute - (ongoing) jongin liked his senior’s profile on tinder and they matched

Cloud9 - transition from hs to college, jongin expressed his crush for ksoo although nothing happened, they meet again five years later in college

Perfection - vocal major!ksoo meets dance major!nini and decides he likes him and will take care of him

A Slice of Summer Love - jongin has a crush on the pizza delivery guy and orders too much pizza (very cute uwu)

I’m sorry I broke your hand, date me so I can make it up to you (kinda) - jongin tripped during a party and groped ksoo’s ass by accident, and ksoo’s reaction was to break his arm, but he took care of him as a form of apology

Aspartame (Just As Sweet) - jongin’s friend creates him an account on a sugar daddy website as a joke but he was curious and kept it and met kyungsoo

Kim Jongin's Must Kiss List - after an accident during a bake sale in high school, ksoo doesn’t stand jongin. in college nini puts up a “would kiss” list with ksoo’s name on it among others, and an angry ksoo retaliates by putting up a “would never kiss” list with only nini’s name on it, which is the start of everything

Love In Control - bdsm!au in which kyungsoo wanted a partner that would understand his needs and how to dominate him, and that person is kim jongin (warning: obviously bdsm and everything that comes with it. please read the tags carefully!)

No buts, just beauty - wolf au, kyungsoo is bullied and being told he’s ugly, jongin is making sure he feels beautiful

[Ain't] My Fault - top!soo greatness :-) they meet while jongin’s still with sehun but they break up soon after bc sehun cheated on him, and ksoo’s here to pick up the broken pieces

Treasure Trove - dragon au, ksoo is sick n jongin went to his room to give him candy and then they netflix and chill (literally)

Waiting for You to Make a Move - i’m fucking in love with this fic omg ;___; JONGIN IS A DRUM PLAYER and they were crushing on each other during the bus ride in the morning and then ksoo goes to chanyeol’s band’s gig and THERE HE IS JONGIN THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER. yes read it please (smut)

This is a start of something new.. - police officer!soo goes to check a college party that wasn’t reported and is stuck with a flirty jongin

Cafe Eau Laid - /sweats profusely/ wolf au and coffee shop au, jongin has a crush on a cute costumer that comes otfen but thinks the friend that comes along is his boyfriend when he’s really just an idiot. (public sex n size kink, you know its good)

My Universe - set in college au but it’s also mama au, jongin is having weird dreams that seem like memories of another life, and dreams of a certain guy that he seems close with.

Sweep You Off Your Feet (Or Mop Around) - kyungsoo works as a janitor at nini’s college to help support his family. they get to know each other and kyungsoo doesn’t tell him he’s not a student but after an incident, he’s fired from the job and has to forget about jongin as well

This is the college au tag for older requests ♡

- Admin Macaroon

[jq37]

Have you done breakdowns of the last few episodes yet? If not 👀

**spoilers for a new york wedding**

Prologue: I had a partially free day today (as in the day I started writing this which is now two days ago) so I decided to swing by Central Park and check out the Bethesda Fountain where I saw both a proposal and a man on a segway with a live snake around his neck so, yeah, New York is just Like That.

"Here's a possibly magic crown. Why don't we ask the butt stuff guy about that?"

The face Brennan makes when Emily says, "I used to do colonics at the salon," is great. Like, "We are two minutes into this ep, your sentence isn't even complete, and I already can't handle it."

So they get out of the sewers and Bethesda Fountain has been attacked (which is a shame just aesthetically because, having now seen it in person, it's a really pretty fountain). Em is devastated and explains that the fountain is like a Important magical symbol of good change and a source of divine purification magic.

Another side note about the fountain: There are these little cherub figures around it in additional to the Angel. I wonder if those are sentient too. Also-also, the promenade across from the fountain has these cool murals of the seasons. My point is, there's a lot of fodder for possible lore just in that small area of the park.

Misty finds ashes by the fountain (concerning) and wipes it on Kugrash's fur (rude).  

I love that Emily thought Pete was pouring one out (one being one bag of cocaine).

"Sophie, your magic is that you're a wonderful person and you jump really good."

"The Bread Wedding"

Kudos to Brennan for all the wide range of crazy voices he had to do in this ep. Don Confetti. The Golem. Perry the Pigeon. That can't be easy on the throat.

Sophie is fully ready to fistfight Don Confetti over their last names which is wild for a lot of reasons we're not gonna get into.

So Brennan has everyone roll a Wis save and everyone did OK except I think Ricky. Brennan never explains why he had them roll that. Concerning. I'm wondering now if it was something that would have needed a nat 20 to save from it or something where the people who saved didn't realized they saved from it and the people who didn't are just ticking time bombs or sleeper agents or something else awful.

Pete is such a dangerous friend to be around when you're emotionally compromised. His solution to everything is drugs.

"It's an off-white!" --Misty upon being called out for wearing white to a wedding.

Brennan has Perry go on a wild 39 second monologue about relationships that Pete interrupts by stuffing drugs down his gullet--see again my previous bullet about Pete.

Sophie notices that a lot of the pixies recognize her which pm confirms her brother is In This which, to use the word of the day again, *Concerning*.

Emily having Sophie get really emotional but also struggling to keep the laughter out of her face is always super funny to watch.

So Pete finds a table of vampires. Brennan spends a couple of minutes describing them before he gets to it outright but it's pretty immediately clear they're vamps. Well, vamps plus a suspicious older guy and a girl (Melissa) who seems to be playing Renfield to the vamps. Getting high so they can drink her blood and get high. Pete brilliantly confirms this by getting the suspicious guy (Rob, as far as we know) to go off on Politics and then deep mind-reading the girl. That's one of the most clever RP things I've seen a player do. Pete also sees that Rob is hanging out with the vamps but he doesn't seem to be one.

Pete fails his wild magic check but nothing happened that we know of. A lot of stuff on the wild magic table is situational though (like the reincarnate spell from Bloodkeep with the potion Sohkbarr drank).

Rob implies he knows what happened with Pete's dad. Pete goes into a tailspin, as if he isn't constantly in one.

Everyone dancing so they can talk in public instead of just, like, having a sidebar. Just that entire sequence is peak comedy.

Ricky, the good boy, is dancing with his pigeon date while everyone else is mystery solving (or, in Soph's case, crying in a closet or something).

Rob is supposedly in finance. Last time there was a character involved in finance/banking in D20 it was the whole KVX fiasco in FH.

"Did I use up my favor? I could have had anything in the world."

Sophie upon seeing anything young woman in any kind of situation immediately springs into action, ready to drag them out by any means necessary. I love her.

Robert works at a hedge fund and Kug recognizes him. Brennan explains how he knows him in a very vague way which the rest of the table clocks instantly. Murph asks if Rob knows Gabriela. He does. Who the hell is Gabriela, Misty and I wonder.

Emily goes galaxy brain and theorizes that the bad guys are laundering souls which is equal parts bonkers and brilliant. The camera unhelpfully *doesn't* cut back to Brennan so I can attempt to read his DM poker face. I am reminded of Emily wondering if [redacted] was in the sword in a recent ep of Naddpod and Murph just deciding that they were on the spot because it was cooler than what he had planned. I know you can't win at DnD but I think Emily is winning at DnD.

I mentioned this in passing I think last recap, but Pete's magic is really interesting to me because Pete doesn't know what his character sheet looks like and he's not someone like Kingston or Ricky who's been doing their thing for a while and knows that they can do and what the things he can do are called. So Ally has to get a little creative about activating abilities (like True Strike in this ep) without being too meta, if that makes sense.

Kug knows Rob from a while ago (from the 80's he later says) but he doesn't seem to have aged. The group is thinking vampire, but he wasn't drinking blood in the memory Pete saw. Suspicious. Put a pin in that with everything else on my conspiracy board.

Misty: Eyyyy Macarena!

Kug kisses the pigeon. Sure.

Misty/Siobhan also does a clever thing and suggests taking a selfie with the vamp table in the background to see who shows up. Only Melissa and Rob do, so they're not vamps for sure.

So they go back to Kingston's place and he, Pete, and Sophie cook for everyone which has basically nothing really to do with the plot but I think it was a nice character beat for them.

Kingston and Misty fought a mummy on Long Island back in the day. As you do. Sidenote, when I was in Central Park today (two days ago), I passed by a big-ass obelisk that apparently exists and that I am *certain* Brennan has lore for, even if it doesn't come up.

Misty, a very wealthy Broadway star: If you pay for the Metropolitan Museum, you're a Goddamn fool.

Sophie had not put together that Misty is a fairy before now and I was like ??? for a second but, actually, with the info she has, that's not necessarily the conclusion she would draw. She could just be a really short lady with magic. It's been that kind of week.

Kingston presses Kug on how he knows Rob and Kug reluctantly confesses that HE USED TO BE A GUY. Zac blindly guesses that he was a stockbroker which is ALSO CORRECT.

"movie horse breeder" is such a specific job to pull out of thin air.

Siobhan, making a choice: Let me tell you about my good friend, John Wilkes Booth.

Brennan's total break of composure when Zac/Ricky says, "I wasn't always a firefighter." Zac lowkey has the best comic timing of everyone on the squad. He's just really understated about it.

Anyway, there are levels to this. How long has Kug been a rat??? I feel like it must have been a while because of all the weird ass stuff that he does. Also, he excuses a lot of his behaviors due to being a rat considering he's actually a rat-MAN, emphasis on the man. The stock broker thing surprised me more considering that Kug is introduced doing some pretty altruistic, non-stockbroker-y things. Did Kug piss off a homeless witch and get Beauty and the Beast-ed? He never actually answered the question about how he knows Rob since everyone got sidetracked by the fact that he used to be a whole-ass HUMAN MAN. Did Rob curse him for less moral lesson reasons? What's going on here????

Esther and Ale have been researching. The grey baby is apparently named Nod, just like the place, and it (it specifically, not him or her) like the ruler of there.

There's this whole group bit Brennan, Ally, and Siobahn do about how you can take the L train really far and then catch a shuttle bus that can only be seen by the pure of heart to get to Nod and it's really funny but how funny would it be if they actually tried to do it in a dire moment and also Ricky could do it for sure send tweet.

Kingston is trying so-so hard to keep everyone on task all episode. Bless him.

Kug asks Esther about her mom, which surprises her. He says they used to be friends (Did *SHE* curse him????). Esther says she hasn't seen her in a long time, since she was 5 or 6. Of course, it's easy to want to connect this to the Gabriela he was asking about earlier but we'll see about that. I think I saw some people speculating that he's Esther's dad which I'm even more skeptical about considering what we learn later but wouldn't that be wild?

Ricky decides to shoot his shot with Esther. His brain is full of love, determination, civic responsibility, and absolutely nothing else, bless his golden retriever heart.

Brennan as Esther drops the best stealth joke (though, it has a very high likelihood of crossing from joke to plot point) in D20 so far with the Imperial Axiom/Sinatra's Law explanation. It was a full, "Wait. What? Oh!" Big gold star for Brennan for that one. I had to take a second and recover from that when I heard it the first time.  Beyond the joke, it also seems like a likely hook for the eventual Big Bad of the campaign. First NY, then the world, you know?

The fact that the highways go against the grain of magic leylines of NY in this world is such a good detail and it makes a lot of sense intuitively.

Zac breaks Brennan again with the, "Traffic's really bad," comment.

Please let Ricky's big dumb puppy self win over Esther. "It's really hard for me." Riiiickyyyy.

So Kingston goes to see Willy, the Williamsburg golem about Lazarus from the Bible (New Testament). Aren't golems de facto Jewish? I think. I am correct. However, as much as Willy doesn't know about the New Testament, he *does* know about the Statue of Liberty which is convenient because--shoutout to the people who figured it out in advance--Lazarus is not Lazarus from the Bible. It's Emma Lazarus who wrote the poem on the Statue of Liberty. This of course means that I need to do a close read of that poem at some point but not today baby because I need more information before I start going full Pepe Silvia. Sidenote: What a great place for Kingston to be when figuring out that info. Close enough that Willy can just point out the statue. It's cinematic. Fantastic.

(Also, I made a post about the fact that Siobahn just knew Emma's name off the top of her head, but when it cut to the other side of the table, Emily's eyes got all big too).

Emily gets a nat20 which RUINS her plans because she runs into Isabella aka the woman her husband left her for. They have an adult Means Girls stand-off where Sophie finds out they're getting married (or at least having a ceremony bc Dale didn't send her divorce papers yet). Big ups to Emily for staying in character and ditching all the sleuthing she was going to do because there is no way Sophie would be stable enough for that to be her top priority at the moment (even though I really wanted her to do all that stuff!)

Also, I'm looking forward to watching Sophie rip her to shreds when she inevitably turns out to be a succubus/demon/fiend/whatever. Honestly, she can just barfight her and I'd be satisfied.  

So Misty goes home and finds a present waiting for her. It's a big ass mirror. Correction. It's a big ass mirror that Titania immediately uses to angry Skype her. Yikes.

It seems like her shoes of Titania are literally that, stolen from Titania (love that Titania was barefoot in her character art btw). I know they let her cast a certain spell in an earlier episode but I'm wondering why she stole them. Maybe they helped her cross over from Faerie (which happened ~400 years ago we ind out)?

Titania is pissed that Misty is stealing "glamour" that should be hers (via playing her in the new show). Glamour in the fairy sense is like a disguise. Glamour in the DnD sense is a fey-based bard option (which is the class I'm guessing Titania will be if they have to fight her). Curious to get a deeper explanation on that later.  

Misty is able to cover back up the mirror but she breaks a hip in the process because of Titania's mojo and has to call Kingston. I already said this but I love their relationship.

(Sidenote, I meant to mention this earlier, but I think whiffs of the undead came up a couple of times in this ep which makes me wonder if the mummy situation Kingston mentioned is going to come back).

"Please, use any one of the guestrooms."

I FORGOT ABOUT KUG'S STUFF AT THE END

Ugh, this ep is an emotional roller coaster

"Wherever you are Rat Jesus, know that I love you. From Wally." What a good boy. 

Everyone reacting to Murph's reaction to Wally before they Find Out is like, an experience. It's like that airpods meme.

OK, I'm not going to go through a whole play by play because nothing I could say would be better than watching the scene but I guess Murph/Bren decided in for a penny, in for a pound because we find out via a conversation between Wally and his businessman brother David that he is Kug's SON. HIS SON. S O N.

Wally is convinced that their dad wouldn't have just left them. David thinks Wally is being naive. I want to die.

Everyone around the table except maybe Ally is so visibly upset at this new information and Ally goes, "FUCK!" at the end so you know we all express emotions in different ways.

God, it's so sad! And I'm not gonna say, "I knew it!" because I didn't. I super didn't. But when Wally was introduced (man that scene hits differently now) I remember thinking, this is such an oddly specific NPC. Like, you know when you're playing a game and the stuff you can click is slightly better rendered and you can kind of tell what you should focus on and what's background art? That's how he felt.

Anyway, again, I'm sad. (GMYeah!.gif)

Watching *OVER* you Murph. OVER you. That's how you make it not creepy!

Meanwhile, Pete lets a bunch of bug monsters out of his dream into real New York City which, tbh, I'm not surprised. This seems like the kind of thing that would happen. Pete is exactly the worst kind of person to be the dream avatar in terms of being responsible.

I love that Siobhan is like, “I have a broken hip” as if all but one of them don’t have literal magic powers. That’s a very fixable problem compared to other stuff they’ve dealt with that day alone. 

Anyway next time, a wasp centaur (thanks, I hate it) and a nat 20! See you then.

[writeanapocalae]

Nano Last Updated 12/11/2012 Part 49

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31 | Part 32 | Part 33 | Part 34 | Part 35 | Part 36 | Part 37 | Part 38 | Part 39 | Part 40 | Part 41 | Part 42 | Part 43 | Part 44 | Part 45 | Part 46 | Part 47 | Part 48

“What are they doing now?” Jace wanted to touch him, comfort him and make him smile again, but he didn’t. He didn’t like being that intimate with someone. Still, it was obvious that the NHPF was doing something that Raz wasn’t happy about.

“We got our team picked out. Fen’s volunteered.” He rolled his eyes.

“Fen?” Terrin interrupted, even angrier than Raz seemed to be. He looked more defeated and saddened than angry. “Uh, but he’s such a jerk! Seriously, I have never met anyone as weasely as him. He’s just…ugh! Slimy! Are you sure he’s on our team? Have you talked to Captain Weep about it?”

“No.” Raz was looking at his shoes, “There’s something worse than a guy who’s constantly attempting to get into your knickers. We’ve been assigned a Vamp.”

Silence. The siblings stared at him, slack jawed and wide eyed. He couldn’t be serious. There was no way they were forcing a Vamp on them.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” Terrin was quiet and trying to force a smile, but all that came out was a strange little twitch to her lips.

“I wish I was, darling, but I talked to the captain about it and he was serious. He wants us to bring a Vamp and he says that if we don’t take the job he’ll give it to someone else. We aren’t catching any breaks and pretty soon we won’t be getting paychecks. I don’t think we truly have a choice in the matter.”

“And we can’t work without one?”

“He’s sent teams on this mission before and none of them have come back with a suspect. The forensics team says it’s an Incubus we’re hunting and there’s really no way to tell one of them if they aren’t wearing their mark. The Vamp would be the only way to spot him in the crowd.”

“It’s just…” Terrin started and then bit that thick lower lip of hers, not able to finish.

“Cruel.” Jace knew what she was going to say, he agreed with her on the subject.

Jace hated vampires, they were blood sucking creeps. They preyed upon the living, sure, some of them drank donated blood and some of them drank animal blood, but that was only temporary. Too many of them killed the innocent, drank people who couldn’t properly defend themselves. They saw people as tools and things to use, not as living, breathing creatures. Jace didn’t like feeling hunted. He didn’t like feeling like an animal, ready to be eaten.

What the NHPF did to some of those they caught though, he was still against that. He had to be. There was nothing he could compare it too, the way that they were treated. They had trials and would be sentenced to death or life imprisonment now, but in the old days, a long long time ago, they had the option of ‘putting them to work’.

It wasn’t work, it was slavery.

Vampires had to drink blood of some kind, had to keep themselves full to a certain amount. If they didn’t, well, there would be issues. They had scientists studying them, figuring out how they worked. They said vampirism was a sort of disease, making the cells divide too quickly, healing any wounds, making them sensitive to sunlight and strong smells, and keeping them looking young for a long time. But when cells divide they also mutate, especially in their minds. If they didn’t drink blood, remind their cells what they were supposed to look like and act like, they would lose their minds.  They would turn into animals, attack things including the walls and themselves, be paranoid, and lose what little humanity they had.

That’s what the NHPF did. They locked them in a room and denied them blood, let them go feral and mad, then put them to work. He’d heard that some people did it to dogs, for dog fights, but even he thought it was cruel and unusual punishment for vampires.

It made them ravenous and that was a part of the nonhuman community even the NHPF stayed away from. Their senses were stronger, their hunger less controlled, and they were the perfect hunters.

All of these years later, they were still being used. They should have been released, having served their sentences, but they were no longer safe. They had not been brought back to a level where they could hide amongst humans, had not been rehabilitated. They were worse than ever before. They had been reformed, but into monsters. So they were kept in the dark and the buried under paperwork and sometimes, when a case was too hard, they used them.

They weren’t even called vampires by the NHPF anymore, they weren’t those creatures anymore. They were psychotic things. They called them Vamps instead, respecting what they once were but drawing a distinct line to show that they were no longer creatures to be trusted at an arm’s length. They would, instead, rot down in the depths beneath the station.

And now one was being placed on their team, well, not his team, Raz and Terrin’s. They all felt the same about it, that the Vamps should be killed off or fed until sane (if that would work) and then released. There was nothing that they could do about it though, they were just officers. The captain could raise a stink, but that wouldn’t do much and he never would. If they did anything it would be far too much paperwork.

“What are you going to do about it?” Jace asked.

“Nothing we can do.” Raz shrugged, “We take the job, we do it well, we try to ignore our own consciences.”

“And in the end we try to sleep at night.” Terrin added.

It was sick and wrong, but they were right. This was their job and, just like him, there was nothing else in the world that they could do. This was all they knew, all they wanted to know. They would do their job as best they could.

[franeridart]

I take issue with affection being the only competition Kiri is never going to lose at. Our shark boy is amazing and definitely a more than worthy rival

(Justto be clear, I don't actually take issue with it, I was just joking and wanting to spread some more love for our boy who can't see how awesome he is.)

I never said it’s the only one he’ll ever win at, just that it’s the only one he’ll never lose at :)

Anon said:Self care? Looking through your kiribaku tag! I swear it banishes all my bad thoughts it's like a slice of heaven thank you so much for fueling my love for my fave boys with your amazing art !! I hope you have an amazing day!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day too!!! 💕

Anon said:Not sure if you’re still enjoying Haikyuu!! but did you see the moment when Kuroo and Bokuto switch hairstyles?? Their antics even got Tsukki to laugh!! I started following you back when you did art for them and when I saw it, it totally made me think of you haha

YES! I’m definitely still following and enjoying the manga, I’ve been loving the latest chapters so much!!!! ;;;;;;;;;;

Anon said:In the time line where Akane is around. Is Kirishima and Bakugo dating or they just like each other but they haven't ask each other out yet?

They’re still not dating!

Anon said:Pls more Kiri vamp and Mr Baku wolf cause it's aesthetic!! (? WHUT YES pls

Maybe! I’m glad you liked them!

Anon said:thank you so much for sharing your art with us because it is absolutely amazing! i’m living for your kiribaku art!! i hope you have a fantastic day (i’m a french girl, excuse my poor english)

It’s okay, english isn’t my first language either! Thank you so much for liking my stuff!!!!

Anon said:This isn't really an ask, well actually it isn't at all. But anyways, I just wanted to tell you that I just looovvvveee your art style and all the artwork + comics you've done! And I really like your kiribaku stuff, and I'm not saying that I don't like everything else you've done, because the rest of your stuff is amazing! (Sorry, I'm getting off track I just don't want you to be offended). Also your oc; akane is really cute~ I hope your having a wonderful day and keep drawing at your own pace!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! You’re so damn nice oh my god!! 💕💕💕💕

Anon said:How do you post so many beautiful drawings in such a short time? Thank you!

Do I really? I feel like my productivity has gone down so much compared to how much I used to post a couple years ago hhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you for liking whatever I can manage to produce tho!!! TT^TT

Anon said:i would die for you

Please don’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hi ♡♡ your art is amazing ! What do you think about baku*kiri*deku ?

Aw sorry but I don’t ship deku with either of them :( I’m happy to hear you like my doodles tho!!!

Anon said:ur art's gucci, fam

THANK YOU!!!

Anon said:Okay so! Oc questions! I have some! 1) is there a plot in your ocverse or are they just college kids being themselves? 2) are Josh and Chris connected to the squad? Also how are they doing? 3) Dave's your favorite right? :3 4) are you going to put Luca and Nico out of their pinning misery? 5) how do Max & Leo, Beth Isa and Ana fit into the squad dynamic? They're not rooming with the others

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dave’s group has no plot at all, as they’re born to simply let me draw of random stuff I think about that doesn’t really fit with any fandom I’m currently in! 

Josh and Chris are from a different story altogether, together with Max Leo Beth Isa and Ana! And they do have a plot of sort, but it’s very nebulous for reasons right now, so I can’t really say much about it - they’re doing good! Or as good as their plot lets them be h a h it’s not........ a strictly happy plot orz

Is Dave my fav? Since they’re all my kids I love them all a whole lot, but I do have faves I guess haha I’m a bad mother - Dave’s definitely the one I have the most fun drawing since his design is v self-indulgent and he’s got a relaxing vibe that easily spreads to me when I draw him, but if we’re talking about the one I built like my ideal fav character then that’d be Luca, and if we’re talking about the one I project the most onto...........actually, I still haven’t ever posted anything of him, but he’s one of Nico’s roommates >:3c also Chris is my oldest OC so he has a very very special place in my heart because of that ;;; I feel like it’s unfair to put him in the list cause I really can’t ever love any OC of mine the same I love him because of this haha

WILL I?????? >:] I do wanna get down to their romance at some point, but first I wanna start drawing comics for them more regularly and I wanna first address a bit of Luca’s past that involves Sal because it might or might not have a little bearing on any romance Lu might ever be interested in starting >:] but before this can happen I gotta find a way to draw Sal’s hair that doesn’t make me wanna shoot myself while I’m at it h a h why did I draw it like that

also at that one person that asked about fav dance move, if it’s dav’s group the only people who enjoy dancing are Sal and Bri (they go clubbing together a lot, I wouldn’t really call it dancing haha) and Ila used to do ballet when she was a kid! 

Anon said:Kiri's hair in your latest piece (long spikey ponytail) is by far my absolute favorite way you've ever styled it, followed by undercut Kiri!! I really love it!

THANK YOU!!! I love Kiri with voluminous hair so much!! I think I might get back on that design again, it was so nice for me to draw TT^TT 

[fanfic-scribbles]

(Don’t) Play It Again

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Everyone has that one song that they just can’t stand for whatever reason, regardless of how good, bad, or innocuous it actually is. For you, hearing that song is like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on your head.

Gabriel, of course, takes this as a challenge.

Quick facts: Romance – [established] Gabriel/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Fluff, tildes (~) for scene breaks because Tumblr’s line breaks are nice in theory but that seems to be the only place they truly exist aside from on desktop sometimes

Words: 2512

A/N: WHEW I did not think I’d finish anything this week but I made it under the wire, even after a week from Hell with being really sick and taking someone else to the hospital. And then going to Wondercon today which, not bad, but tiring. Oh well; less whining. Here! Have a Gabriel/Reader fluffy-nonsense fic; I hope you enjoy it.

   You wake to a chill where your skin meets the air and sunlight is just barely grazing the curtains. An arm slips around your stomach and pulls you back into a very warm, very bare chest. You smile as lips move from your shoulder to your earlobe.

“Gabr’l,” you say, mangling the word with a tongue still trying to sleep in the early morning hour. You wish your consciousness could claim the same.

“We have some time,” he says, still kissing with light brushes of his lips over your bare skin. “Before you have to get up and…ugh…be responsible.”

You laugh as the motions begin to tickle and the rest of your body begins to stir. Well, he has a point. Especially the ‘ugh’ part, so you're more than willing to add something nice to the morning…

Until the alarm goes off.

The alarm being the crappy clock radio by the side of the bed that tunes into the most static-riddled radio station you’ve heard playing that fucking song. You slam your hand on the top of the radio once, twice, but it isn’t until the fourth hit that the thing finally turns off and it’s too late– you’re very much awake now and very much not in a good mood. In any form or fashion.

“Uh…everything okay?” Gabriel asks, looking at you warily. If he wasn’t who he was you’d expect a splash of holy water or handful of salt.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just…out of the mood,” you say and sit up.

“What? Why?” Gabriel asks, on the edge of pouting. “Where do you have to go in such a hurry?”

You chuckle and give him a little kiss on the nose. He scrunches it in displeasure. “Sorry Gabriel,” you say and slip out of his hold to get dressed.

“Seriously, what did you set that alarm for?”

“The alarm was set well in advance so timing isn’t a problem. It’s that fucking song.” You stick out your tongue like it can get rid of the bad taste.

“The…song?” Gabriel sounds almost as confused as Castiel at his most angelic.

“I can’t stand that song. It’s just…” You shudder. “If I listen to it too much it puts me in a bad mood. Certainly knocks me right out of that mood, so that’s one more reason to hate it.”

“It’s…” Gabriel appears in front of you. “It’s just a song. It’s dumb, yeah, but you’ve listened to way worse.”

“Maybe.” You lean forward and kiss him again. “But it is what it is. Honestly, I cannot hate that song any more than I already do.”

Gabriel pouts and you laugh, leaving him to sulk quietly. He’ll get over it, you figure, because he always does. And hey– once you’re showered, maybe you’ll be up to making the morning a little better for the both of you.

And you do. However, you really should have chosen your earlier words more carefully.

~

“How’s it hangin’ sweetcheeks?”

You stop before you can take a bite and glance up with wary amusement, half-expecting Gabriel to be dressed in neon, or like a villain from an eighties teen movie. But Gabriel looks as Gabriel always tends to look– blending in. More or less.

“Hey.” Gabriel swipes a fry and waves it at you. “Johnny Lawrence has nothing on me.”

“Of course not,” you say as he starts eating your food. Somehow (“somehow”) the amount of fries remains the same. “Are you riding with me?”

“No.” Gabriel rolls his eyes. “I promised Castiel I’d help him with something.”

“What a nice big brother you are,” you say and laugh when he flicks a fry bit at you. Suddenly he appears next to you and kisses you deeply, salt melding and melting between your tongues.

Gabriel pulls back abruptly and winks. “Thanks for the snack, Sugar,” he says, and vanishes.

Shockingly, his disappearing act draws no notice. Well, Gabriel can be subtle. When he wants. So you just shake your head, pick up your burger, and prepare to take a bite.

That’s when you hear it.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” you say and drop your food. But no– it’s that song. And this stupid place has the volume up too loud for you to ignore it. You rifle through your bag but your headphones are nowhere to be found, of course. Thankfully, by the time you’re done searching, the song is at least almost over with.

Then the sound system glitches.

And it starts from the beginning.

“F–” You toss your food back in the bag and take it to go. Apparently it’s just one of those days.

~

A few hours later you’re driving to the next state over when The Song comes on the radio. On two different stations. You punch it off but that’s…weird. Really weird.

The road is straight, flat, and empty. You slip on your Bluetooth and make a call.

“Hey,” Dean answers, not short of breath or otherwise distressed. Good.

“Are you involved in whatever Cas needed Gabe’s help for?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s actually being pretty helpf–” Dean’s voice becomes fainter, like he’s turned away from the phone. Even though it’s a cell phone. You roll your eyes, but smile at Gabriel’s voice in the background. Your smile grows when Dean’s voice becomes clearer with, “–not going to tell them you love them! You got your own damn phone.” Dean huffs. “Anyway, what’d you want?”

“Tell Gabe I love him too.”

“Wh– I’m not going to–” There are kissy noises in the background but still relatively close and Dean swears. “You two are disgusting,” he says and hangs up.

You laugh and toss your earpiece onto the passenger seat. So, it’s not Gabriel then. You’ll have to tell him about all this later– far from being offended, he’ll probably get a kick out of it.

~

You’re speaking with a witness who might have information on whatever the hell you’re hunting, when some sort of instrument starts playing. If it was tuned you might have a shot at figuring out what it is. (A tuba? You think?)

“I’m sorry,” the woman says and winces at a…a very interesting note. “My Oliver has to practice for school.”

“I understand completely,” you say and open your notebook. “Now, you told–” In with discordant notes you can barely hear it, but once you do hear that song, you can’t stop hearing it no matter how badly the kid is trying to mangle it. “Son of a bitch!”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, um, just a flash of insight,” you say quickly and scribble some nonsense on the page. You give the woman your kindest smile.

“Oh, well all right then,” she says and sits a little straighter. You carry on with the interview as the kid practices. And practices. And practices.

To his credit, the song does get more recognizable as time goes on.

By the end of the interview, your eye is twitching and Yvonne, the very nice lady who has inadvertently helped you identify someone within the police as the town’s source of problems, looks concerned. “Are you all right?”

“Job hazard,” you say and smile blandly. “Thank you for your time, ma’am.”

The song starts again, and you’re too tired to even grind your teeth. You really need to kill something.

What happens if you tear out a werewolf’s heart with your bare hands before you jam silver in it?

~

At first you assume the song is having a resurgence. Or maybe it never actually went away, you just got lucky. In either case, you’re hearing it a lot again.

Naturally, it is not putting you in the best mood.

“Are you okay?” Sam murmurs as you both sit at the bar, waiting for the monster du jour to take Dean’s bait.

“I’m fine,” you say and watch Dean work. He’s doing good, charming the pants right off the bitch who very obviously wants to drain him dry. But then the chorus starts and you twitch. “God I hope this nest is big. I want piles of heads. Piles.”

“Easy, Venom,” Sam says and you actually stare at him. He frowns. “I’m not completely out of the loop.”

You snort and go back to watching Dean. Though you try to tune out the song, it seeps into your consciousness regardless and Sam jabs you a couple of times to make you lighten up. When Dean and the vamp leave you have to slow up to keep off their heels.

You clear out half the nest on your own. Dean and Sam are impressed and frightened, respectively. Or both, equally.

~

You’re currently at a drive-in with Gabriel and channeling your inner rebellious fifties teenager. You have no idea what the movie’s about. It’s fantastic.

And then.

“What’s wrong?” Gabriel asks, ruffled in a way you wish you could appreciate.

But not right now. Those opening bars… He opens his mouth and you shush him. As the next notes come, you recognize it as a goddamn slow cover version of that fucking song. You let out a heavy sigh and try not to grind your teeth as you sink back into your seat.

“What just happened?” Gabriel asks, looking from you to the screen and back again.

“I, uh…” But irritation is rising and the mood is fading. You are tired. You are just…tired.

“It’s not–” Gabriel guffaws. “You're joking.”

“I. Wish.”

Gabriel makes a ‘tsk’ noise and leans in closer to you. “Come on; I’ll take your mind off of it.”

“No.”

“But–”

“Gabriel.”

Sufficiently convinced that no, you’re not kidding, he sits back in his seat, and glares straight ahead. His hands, once roving over your body, are folded under his crossed arms, and his lips, just moments ago grazing your skin, are furrowed into a pout.

You hate that you can literally say that this song is now ruining your life.

~

However.

Maybe less than a week later you’re in a movie theater, suffering through that same mediocre film and posing as an usher as you scout a potential haunting. But when the scene comes on…the song doesn’t play.

Hm.

~

It’s a nice day in the library. A quiet one. As of late, Dean won’t even play his own music around you, just in case. You figure it’s better that way. And today, working around Dean and Sam and Cas, the silence is nice.

At some point, though, Cas starts humming. That’s…strange. He keeps his face in his book while you, Sam, and Dean all trade confused and bewildered looks. And the way Cas is humming is very mechanical– like he’s trying to remember each note as he gets to it. You and Sam smile, and Dean rolls his eyes but you see a smile start to form before he puts his head back down. You and Sam follow suit, and while you’re cleaning up a clumsy translation, you let the song filter through your brain in the background. It sounds so familiar, you just can’t place–

Wait.

“Son of a bitch!” you hiss and slam your book shut hard enough to make the table rattle and Sam and Dean jump.

“Uh oh,” Dean mutters as Cas slowly lifts his head.

“Are you all right?” Cas asks, somewhat wary.

Not wary enough, but you do your breathing exercises. “I’m fine. Castiel…” You breathe deep. “That’s an…interesting song.”

“It is,” Cas says and looks thoughtful. “Very ‘catchy.’ That’s the word, right?”

“Mm hm. That’s…a word,” you say and steadfastly stare at your project. It goes back to being quiet.

Then Cas starts again, and your pencil snaps in your hand.

“Uh, Cas, let’s–” Sam clears his throat and bumps the table when he scrambles to get up. “Cas, can I talk to you? Somewhere else?”

“I suppose so,” Cas says slowly and stands.

“I’ll help,” Dean says, closing his laptop and backing away from you like you’re a hungry tiger. Sam and Dean then basically run away with Cas caught in between them.

You sigh and let your forehead fall against the table. This has got to end. Soon.

~

You don’t let anything musical come on for a solid week. The alarm buzzes, you drive with only the wind rushing past your ears, and the TV gets muted ASAP. The things you can’t control– stores, homes, cars with a broken volume button– you…handle. So far, you haven’t heard it again, but you stay on edge, just waiting.

“You look like a live wire, Sugarplum.” Gabriel cracks his fingers and wiggles them. “C’mere and let me work out some of those kinks. And then we can work out a different set of kinks.”

Tempting. You’d very much like to work out some tension, but you’re just not up for it. Gabriel is a good time– and a very involved time. “No thanks, Gabe; I’m really tired.”

“I could energize you,” he offers and reaches, but you dodge him quickly, if clumsily.

“Thanks, but all I need is some sleep,” you say and blow him a kiss. “Good night, Gabriel,” you say, shut off the lights, and go to bed.

You hope the message is received.

~

Several days later, after you’ve moved on from the last hunt, you wake up to a song on the radio. Your stomach sinks in dread, but what’s playing is…pleasant. It’s not that song. As far from that song as possible. It’s not your favorite, but the sound of it is benign and the memory of it is…

“May I have this dance?” Gabriel asks, leaning over you and kissing your neck.

You smile as he trails kisses on your skin. “If you had been a real, actual trickster, I probably would have been dead. You were so smooth.”

“Not even a demi-god could have killed you,” he says.

You chuckle and turn over to kiss him. “Still are smooth.”

“I was hoping you’d notice,” he says, eyes glinting in the light. “No hunts lined up today, right?”

“No helping Cas with his mysterious project?”

“Completely done.”

You eye him. “Completely, one-hundred percent, done done?”

“Done forever,” Gabriel says. He affects innocence so well sometimes you can only hope you’re speaking the same language right now, but then his lips cover yours and, well, you’re certainly speaking the same language there.

You break for air and Gabriel looks pretty pleased with himself. You smile and hover just in front of his mouth. “Hey Gabriel?”

“Hmmmmm?”

You trail a finger down his chest. “Every second I hear that song will be a week you feel without me touching you. Comprende?”

“Si, mi amor,” Gabriel says and a painfully fake moustache appears on his face, fresh out of Casa Erotica.

“Ew, I finally found something worse than that song,” you say and start to pull back, but Gabriel drags you back in. You laugh, he gets rid of the moustache, and you both spend the rest of the morning making out to the sounds of the song that played when you first met.