#jokes and japes <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[suppenzeit]

the rusty intro songs ranked

3. you can't

2. rank them

1. engine of love

[tenasorimura]

oh my blood tastes like bile? oh nooo my humours are off youre gonna have to suck the melancholy out of me and get an acquired taste for it or something idk

(crossposting from bsky, also the first pic is def still a wip but im in no good position to attempt finishing it rn)

[adamsvanrhijn]

[cescalr]

I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen

Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I am convinced you didn't read the very first line of this post<3

I'm sorry I understand the issue is more complex than this but Namor is literally like 'my people have lived in a peaceful utopia for centuries. but I feel like starting a war with every other nation on earth<3' like bestie. What.

[nomsfaultau]

out of context plot points in Mandatory Family Reunion

Most of these are from gags from my fic. But others are horrific events completely reframed. Good luck guessing which is which !

A Dr. Pepper ruins Techno’s life

Tommy gets grounded for trying to shoot Philza

Techno has an AA meeting with his kidnappers

“Fun life advice with Techno: Turns out it’s not hard to fake cry when you’re constantly trying not to sob! Neat. Probably super applicable for normal people too.”

A black ops raid is sent to deliver Christmas presents

Tommy carries onions in his pockets so he can fake cry on command. This is funny until it isn't

On the other hand, that isn't modeling clay in Wilbur's pockets

Techno’s parents always have his back!

“It’s just the anxiety. I feel like I would’ve seen the achievement pop up if I got PTSD.”

Philza gets a rabies shot because of Techno

“But if [Philza's] years of running a criminal empire have taught him anything, all it takes is a can-do attitude and unfathomable wealth.”

Officer Jenny commits police brutality

It's always a bad sign when you can hear your parents giving you advice

Philza straight up drinks poison but is alright (unlike Skeppy)

Squidkid loses hide and seek with Wilbur bc he’s a dirty cheater

Techno’s hair is burnt off but, like, it’s not a big deal

If you can't replace your son's abusive parents yourself, store bought is fine. (Philza actively gets more scared when it works)

It's not a coma if you're in enough denial about it!

“[Tommy] hands over a real security ID. Sure enough, the middle name actually is Danger. Sam has very interesting parents, and a long and fascinating backstory that will never be mentioned again.”

Quackity implies Edgeworth x Wright is cannon

Techno hits rock bottom in an elevator. actually 3 people in the fic have elevator trauma. Maybe the real Mandatory Family Reunion was the elevator trauma we made along the way.

“Skeppy, I think the dog has ulterior motives.”

GPS failure nearly costs a court case

Techno helps run a criminal empire for like 2 weeks. But not that criminal empire.

“They were like a family to me” and “I love you” and “For you? The world, Phil” are the most devestating lines techno says

Yes. This story is definitely pure crack. No angst here no siree! It's all jokes and japes galore. Ignore the sobbing.

[ssruis]

Every1 saying ena will be transphobic & making funny jokes and japes about her slinging slurs will start coughing in 3 days

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

fanfic where kuboyasu punches saiki's dad after he pulls the 'haha if i was my kid's age i'd punch him so much' line again then saikis dad is all 'it was just a joke D:' and kuboyasu was all 'lol so was me hitting you just jokes dude japes :3'

[adalrikr]

"So your friend stole them then. Sounds simple enough." Erk still doesn't bother looking up, more engrossed in the book clumsily hidden (not hidden at all, really) underneath the stand. The judge casts him an odd glance, but Erk decidely ignores it. He doesn't care how he's percieved in this farce of a courtroom, he just wants to get this over and done with.

"Unless you're lying about even having a friend in the first place." Erk glances over at the defendant for a mere brief moment, taking note of how nervous he looked. Was that simply a matter of being put on edge by being on trial or was that his default state? If it was his default state, then Erk couldn't see him having the courage to even make a single friend, let alone accept a random box of tea from said "friend" without inspecting it throughly beforehand.

"What's your "friend's" name? Would it be possible to have her testify?" Erk asks, tapping his foot idly against the ground as he multitasked between the world's most uninteresting session of court and the much more interesting book in his hand, "After all, if she's the one who brought you the bag with the herbs, then she might know something you don't. I suggest calling her in at once, if that is alright with the defense."

um. actually-

“Court is now in session! …” | Anniversary Mission Board | Authority +1

[raccoonhusband]

Theory: Bill Cipher probably ate his Parallel Dimension Twin

Or should I have done an Earl of Lemongrab meme? Okay, jokes and japes aside I feel this has some real merit behind it, that I'll leave under the cut.

---

There's a lot of good ideas going around with how exactly Bill destroyed his dimension, but my personal pet theory is that he made contact with his parallel universe twin. Specifically, he consumed him. The evidence of what can happen when parallel universe copies make contact with each other is described in journal 3 by Alternate McGucket:

"As soon as they touched hands, the entire dimension began to warp and fizz with static ... In fact, that whole dimension has ceased to exist."

Time and time again, Bill is associated with static. In his "blood", attempts by the government to vivisect him, his memories of the event, his therapy notes, and depictions of his parents.

We know his goal with what ended up becoming the Euclydian Massacre was to "show everyone what they were missing," and it was enough to destabilize and destroy everything.

How'd he pull it off? I'm thinking he built a dimensional portal of his own, but honestly in this show anthyding can hadplen. It would definitely explain where the portal idea came from in the first place.

But why do I think he consumed his twin? It's all these very suspicious comments he keeps making to Ford specifically...

"How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!" "You can't just eat your twin, Bill." "You'd be surprised what you can eat."

And in the microscopically rare moment of honesty where he admits to himself that he's a monster, even if Ford isn't aware Bill's talking about himself yet, he follows up Ford's offer for revenge with, "It would eat you alive." You'd be surprised what you can eat.

And it's not like he hasn't consumed others after, as the page in the Book of Bill on the topic of Human skin, there's a desperate note at the bottom from a Grembley Hemberdrek of Zimtrex 9, who Bill devoured trillions of years ago and who's soul has been trapped inside forever after, tortured with "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch on an endless loop. Who's to say his parallel twin isn't in there too?

It's very possible that his ultimate goal, aside from getting revenge, opening his world's eyes to the third dimension, and the sweet sweet high of proving everyone wrong was ultimately to find a better world, consume his "inferior twin" and take over his identity in his dimension. Thematically, it would also cement his status as Stanley's dark foil, who also took over and stole his twin's identity leading to a better life, albeit for much nobler reasons.

Additionally, on top of the practical reasons for taking over Earth, choosing Ford had that bonus that he wouldn't be alone by molding Ford in his image. It's why he kept giving him so many chances to join him. By setting him up to destroy his world, betray his twin, and become monsters together, he'd finally have a companion who's exactly like him. Only fitting for the Multiverse's ultimate narcissist, isn't it?

Anyway, if you read this far, thanks! This is only a theory and tbh I'm probably going to be proven wrong in time but hey!

[stargareed]

Do You Speak GRRMan?

While GRRM naturally writes in American English, he's been slowly increasing his use of GRRMan (which is based on British and older forms of English, as well as shit he simply made up) during asoiaf so that, by AFFC and ADWD, one must at least be conversant in the language to understand the plot. Indeed, some of his most famous GRRMan-isms didn't come about until later in the series.

"Nuncle" (as opposed to "Uncle") - 35 times in asoiaf, the first in AFFC

"Six-and-ten" (as opposed to "Sixteen") - 11 times, the first in AFFC (though that system of numbering appears at least as early as ACOK)

"Nipples on a breastplate" - 3 times, the first in AFFC

"Near enough to make no matter" - 5 times, the first in AFFC

"Hour of the wolf" - 8 times, the first in AFFC (the other named hours, like bat, eel, owl, nightingale, etc., also begin in AFFC or later)

"Cyvasse" - 45 times, the first in AFFC

"Words are wind" - 21 times, the first in ASOS

"Kissed by fire" - 15 times, the first in ASOS

"Pray tell" - 5 times, the first in ASOS

"Arse" (as opposed to "Ass") - 75 times, the first in ACOK

"Much and more" - 45 times, the first in ACOK

“Moonblood” - 8 times, the first in ACOK

“Flowered” - 17 times, the first in ACOK

"Bugger" - 54 times, the first in ACOK

"Mayhaps" (as opposed to "Maybe" or "Perhaps") - 54 times, the first in AGOT

"Jape" (as opposed to "Joke") - 101 times, the first in AGOT

"Moons" (as opposed to "Months") - 55 times, the first in AGOT

"Make water" (as opposed to "Piss" or "Pee") - 6 times, the first in AGOT

"Must needs" - 50 times, the first in AGOT

"Man grown" - 43 times, the first in AGOT

"Mummer's farce" - 21 times, the first in AGOT

"Half a hundred" - 71 times, the first in AGOT

"Sweetling" - 95 times, the first in AGOT

"Queer" (i.e., "strange") - 178 times, the first in AGOT

"Half a heartbeat" - 70 times, the first in AGOT

"Gaoler" (as opposed to "Jailer") - 61 times, the first in AGOT

"The Others Take ___" - 29 times, the first in AGOT

"Dark wings, dark words" - 14 times, the first in AGOT

"Wroth" - 50 times, the first in AGOT

"Nonce" - 13 times, the first in AGOT

"Seven Hells" - 53 times, the first in AGOT

"In his cups" - 15 times, the first in AGOT

"Summer child" - 3 times, the first in AGOT

"Gods be good" - 57 times, the first in AGOT

"Smallclothes" - 58 times, the first in AGOT

"Break __ fast" -- around 20-30 times, the first in AGOT

"Name day" - 59 times, the first in AGOT

"By the old gods and the new" - 6 times, the first in AGOT

"Craven" - 134 times, the first in AGOT

"Bend the knee" - 34 times, the first in AGOT

Have/had/has "the right of it" - 16 times, the first in AGOT

"Make mock" or "making mock" - 9 times, the first in AGOT

[triptychgardener]

Alright, you wanted it, you asked for it, here we go.

THE FULL GUIDE TO LEPRECHAUN ROMANCE

Created in collaboration with @a-very-stuck-doggirl, with additional assistance from @gendertrickster and @clamitoustemptation

If you want the FULL, EYEBURSTING EXPERIENCE of reading this beautiful, beautiful explainer, you can find the full document here. And furthermore, we will be expanding (and taking liberties with) the canon explanation of Leprechaun romance and the charms system, a brief explainer of which can be found on the wiki here.

And finally, we will not be explaining how Leprechaun reproduction works, only how the cultural systems of romance work. You bunch of perverts.

And with that...

Let us begin.

When broaching the subject of leprechaun romance, our feeble human minds immediately assume the most ingratiating posture of glee imaginable. What whimsy, what mystery, what the fuck! Here, we will do our best to unravel all the different nine charms of LEPRECHAUN ROMANCE, in order to construct a romantic system that ADEQUATELY INCLUDES THE ROMANTIC OPTIONS OF ONE WEIRD CLOWN GIRL. So without further Ado, or with it if she decides to join us…

Let’s get this shit fuckin storted

but furst…(fred durst)

A brief explainer.

A JAPE is another form of courtship, this time taking the form of Sick Prankz. Anything you can use to get an edge, to get a brief Jortle out of them, or simply yourself, counts as a Jape.

A JIG is the type of courtship dance you perform, either when romancing an attractive and silly person, or simply to reaffirm the feelings of your relationship. When in doubt, Jig it out.

A WHIMSY is a feeling, a scene, or something else exemplifying the pure Vibes of the romance. A few examples are given, but a Whimsy is not such a thing to be tied down. After all, the charms are made to be mixed into TROVES, with three being the bare minimum for a proper trove.

CHARM 1: 💗 (Heart)

The heart is the one charm that actually means romantic love in the sense of human romance and matespritship. It is notably pink, while most other romance systems use a saturated red heart. 

JIG: A quick and lively dance in close proximity to a partner. Maybe even (scandalous!) some bumpin’ and grindin’. Turning this sockhop into a sockless hop if you know what I’m saying.

JAPE: The classic to end all classics. Bucket on the door. (Cultural specific)

WHIMSY: Skipping along carefree, arm in arm, a feeling of warmth inside.

CHARM 2: 🌙 (Moon)

A symbol associated with dreams, mystery, and the night. A common sign that one is in moons with another is seeing them in your dreams, or them seeing you in their dreams.

JIG: A sneaky, tip-toeing, light jig, almost airy, never quite touching each other. Jesus would approve. 

JAPE: Be the monster under the bed, sneaking up on the partner and startling them in a safe but traditionally scary location. (monster in the closet works a-ok if your bed has no underside)

WHIMSY: Sneaking off under the cover of night,  doing a merry canter on your prospective lover’s windowsill, whispered jokes under the covers.

CHARM 3: ⭐ (Star)

The orange star, associated with excellence, achievement, perhaps even a far-flung imagination that goes a bit beyond reality. A common sign you are in stars with another is coming up with wildly ambitious schemes that are nearly certainly doomed to fail. But you try anyways.

JIG: Hand in hand  bouncing up and down. Legs kicked up behind, butterfly kisses.

JAPE: Pantsing someone whilst onstage giving a big presentation, killing the president with a pie-to-the-face necksnap. Anything wildly important that can be brought down with a pratfall.

WHIMSY: A sporadic and spur of the moment journey, often lasting at least an hour, to an unknown or unvisited location. 

CHARM 4: 🍀 (Four-leaf Clover)

The clover is associated with, what else, luck. To be honest, achieving this with someone is nearly impossible to do intentionally. It must be stumbled into on a whim, perhaps literally falling into one’s lap on a chance journey. The clover is a treasured, and often dangerous charm, but those who achieve it are, well, extraordinarily lucky.

Jig: Socks on a smooth polished floor, slip around defying gravity with the sheer will of your connection. If you fall you’ll get back up laughing and slip slide some more.

Jape: Spending all of their savings on scratch-off lotto tickets. You’re either getting laid or getting VERY dumped. 

Whimsy: A night at the casino to win it big, throwing your life to the wind on some daredevil stunt, a meet-cute at the top of a colliding rollercoaster.

Charm 5: 🔷 (Diamond)

The blue diamond is closely related to the troll concept of moirallegiance. The diamond is a stable shape and be it red or blue it represents stability, be it of reaching where you want to be, or a strong foundation to build upon. 

Jig: A simple, steady square dance, perfectly in sync, with a couple shooshpaps thrown in for good measure.

Jape: The surprise of a breakfast in bed, but the food won't stop coming. Be buried under freshly squeezed orange juice and lovingly jellied toast.

Whimsy: A pale session on a plush quilt, the warmth underneath you as you sit on their lap. Being in the car with an incredibly safe driver.

Charm 6: 𝝮 (Horseshoe)

Horseshoes are associated partially with challenge, a game, and irony. A horseshoe is lucky, but it’s simply a marker of the most challenging and ironic situations. Also horses.

Jig: A lively and sardonic canter with a particularly risky somersault down a grassy hill, or a jagged set of concrete steps. 

Jape: Physical non-lasting injury. Bonking someone with a biiiiiiiiig mallet. Big lumps on the head, flattened into an accordion. (WARNING: DO NOT TRY UNLESS SILLY). Performing pranks in ironic proximity to horses. 

Whimsy: Chase through hallway with many doors, coming out completely different ones than the ones entered. Sometimes swapping outfits and gaining other members to your procession. A boxing match where both of you have guns taped to your back.

Charm 7: 🎈 (Balloon)

This charm is primarily associated with freedom, knowing that you have a relationship even when apart, that allows you the independence to experiment. Associated with polyamorous, long distance, and open relationships, flight and travel. 

Jig: A wide and free-flowing twirl, lifting each other up over and over, then separating till only the tips of your fingers remain.

Jape: Showing up unannounced at your long-distance partner’s doorstep and utterly imposing on them. But they love it all the same.

Whimsy: Making out with your roommates while couchsurfing, a wild kiss in a hot-air balloon, the open road flying by.

Charm 8: 🌈 (Rainbow)

The rainbow is adventure, going beyond boundaries. The journey is the relationship, the relationship is the journey. This charm represents growth and change, be it progression or regression, what matters is to be doing it together.

Jig: Running leaps, a jig in motion, something wild and unexpected. The kind you see in a musical where people are jumping on tables and shit.

Jape: Dying your partner’s hair color while they’re asleep. Genderpranking them leading to self-discovery.

Whimsy: Packing bags together, and making sure that together you have what you need, not one carrying it all. 

Charm 9: 🍯 (Pot o’ Gold)

This one’s allllllll about the money. Material goods, gifts, splendor. But it’s not necessarily just about gr33d and gain. It can also be in the little treasures that you hold, your favorite mug, or a timeless autograph from the creators of the Hit Webcomic Outcaste. Wow! So cool.

Jig: Dousing one another in fake or real money, break out the monopoly board we’re getting silly. Confetti works just as well, what needs to be is something falling down around you.

Jape: Buying your partner gag gifts: I’m talking fake snakes stored in cans of peanuts, or actual snakes stored in their plate of spaghetti. Giving them a box that hurls a pie in their face.

Whimsy: Digging for buried treasure, looking for something lost. The chaos in the search is all the more fun.

Leprechaun Romance Research is hard. It's hard, and now, whether you wanted to or not, you understand. But the romantic sciences are not a simple, cut-and-dry thing. We encourage you to seek out your own answers, delve deep into the knowledge stored in the deeper dreambubbles, and maybe, someday, feel the touch of plush, green felt against your very own lips.

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Frank: Is lazing about all you do everyday?

Barnaby: No, no, of course not! I have a daily schedule to keep. *pulls out little planner book, licks his thumb, and uses it to flip to a day*

Barnaby: Let's see... Ah, here's my Monday schedule.

9 am: Wake up

9:30 am: Wake up but for real this time

10 am: Joke rehearsal

11 am: Tomfoolery

12 noon: Hotdog lunch time

12:30 pm: After-lunch lazy time

1 pm: Shenanigans

2 pm: Japes and related silly buffoonery

3 pm: Hanging out with Wally and/or others

4 pm: Pranks and goofs

5 pm: Clowning around

6 pm: Rampant hijinks

7 pm: General mischief

8 pm: Sleep

Barnaby: *sharply closes the book* Y'see, a fully booked day! Just laying about would distract me from my other, ever-so-important activities.

Frank: You sleep for 11 hours??

Barnaby: Eh, that part of the schedule is fluid. It's just if I performed my usual antics outside after that time, Poppy gets upset at me.

Barnaby: Well...not upset, but she gives me that sad, "I'm disappointed in you", "you can do better than that" face. Y'know the one?

Frank: *feeling a rare moment of solidarity* I do, indeed.

[homestuckredo]

WE ARE OUTSIDE THE ROOM! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT WE ARE OUTSIDE THE ROOM!!

IT'S- ..... Well it's outside the room and that is what I wanted most. Who cares that the Architect who design their home was probably murdered in their sleep. OR maybe he fell down those stairs. The clowns are a nice touch tho. Sorry, Harlequins. I know not everyone enjoys the comedic prowess of the Masters of Jape and Jest, but I was that weird kid who rented clowns for birthdays, and wanted to go to clown school, so me and dad would probably get along lol.

We get some really, profoundly beautiful verbiage this update. "As domestic myth of unaccountable origin holds, a home borrows the spirit of the flame for as long as it makes a guest of it, much as the moon takes liberty with the sun's rays." "The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." is not Mark Twain for the record. John when is the last time you did your English homework? (This is a JOKE. The fact he remembers the entire quote is terrifying. i could never.) Anyways it's from Timon of Athens, by Shakespeare. But the whole bit is absolutely beautiful and a better narration than what we've seen so far. Especially compared to the Gamebro review. Hussie has range apparently.

Apparently he and Dad also has the plan to give John some really unhealthy relationships with food. 3 cakes??? and another in the oven??? This is a recipe for some really painful medical experiences. Maybe even diabetes. Metawise tho, it would be really cool representation to have a diabetic MC. Also I called it. GameBro is soggy af. No burn.

OMG WE HAVE NEW CHARACTER ART!! I don't care that she's dead. SHE'S A NEW ART TOPIC. *cries in illustration* Nana gonna have ART. Also at least dad seems the supportive type, even if he's a crap dad, that's a point towards growth and rebuilding the relationship. The doll would join bro in the fire tho. I hate dolls.

[preet-01]

OMG OMG OMG scanielax historical au has a special place in my head and heart and i just discovered that THERE IS MORE!!! a second part and a snippet? screaming crying throwing up 😭😭

how is max handling in the longer run scotty trying to get into his head, voicing her claim on daniel more and more, calling him whore and other things? does he snap at her at some point? does max confront daniel about his relationship with lewis when he returns? also does daniel return in time for his childs birth? did he have an affair again with lewis? sorry i have so many questions 😭 im so intrigued i love this whole dynamic and au so much 🥺

sending much love 💖💖💖

ahh thank you!!! scanielax historical au is one of my favorite toxic threesome fics

I have been working on a part 3 multi-chapter fic for this au that answers most of these questions since I often think about them

so that should be coming out in the next few weeks

here's a little snippet:

"I hear congratulations are in order," Lewis says. They're riding just ahead of the others, giving them privacy and some quietness. Men behind them joke and jape with one another as smiles still grace their faces. The journey has only just begun and they have not been apart from their loved ones for long. They dream of glory and setting their names in the annals of history. Daniel, however, does not share the same sentiments. A smile does not grace his face and his thoughts are filled with the ones who await him back home.

"Huh?"

"The Kingdom rejoices, its Princess carries their beloved Prince's heir," Lewis states.

"My part in the matter was minimal, the congratulations are better served for someone else," Daniel replies. He had done very little in the conception of his soon-to-be-born child. He'd only hurt his wife and lover with his inability to do his duties as the heir without help.

"How were your travels?" Daniel asks, not wanting the conversation to continue. He had not seen Lewis in many years. Lewis had led his own platoon of men on a different front during the war and afterward had traveled the other kingdoms in search of a lost friend he'd briefly seen during battle. "Did you find who you were looking for?"

"Lest war breaks out, this shall be my last campaign," Lewis replies with a smile. "I may never sire children, but I have found my home and reason to live a life of peace, not fighting.