#john mulaney stranger danger

[dragoninahumancostume]

I love it when I'm listening to John Mulaney and he says something and I'm like "oh wait I saw that on Tumblr :D" and remember the name of the song just so I can listen to it again for the context of the meme

[misskitka27]

Love that for me

[seekforwarmth]

thank you @voulezloux for tagging me! you may think my url is easy to remember but you’d be surprised by the amount of ppl who call me nouis hehehe. anyway.

rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most.

song links: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

i’m tagging (no pressure): @allwaswell16, @floralotp, @folklouire, @fforever-dreaming, @fuchsiasea, @savebylou, @punkpillowprincess, and anyone who sees this and wants to do it, just say i tagged you.

[the-cheezit-files]

Last night I was listening to John Mulaney specials while cleaning. I did not listen to any music after that. This was a mistake, which I realized upon entering my car the next morning and plugging in my phone because bright and early at 7:30am John Mulaney starts SCREAMING at me about stranger danger

[hypolimnions-a]

Liam's anxieties don't go unnoticed by Oliver. He's perceptive, and right now all of that careful focus is pointed at Liam and Liam only. Curious but unperturbed, he files these idiosyncrasies away to dissect later. At present, he mostly just finds the posturing and the poorly hidden desperation charming. Unused to the feeling of being valued enough for someone to be properly anxious around him, these things are tantamount to flirtation in and of themselves. They mean at least as much to Oliver as the kiss itself does.

When the other calls him 'cute' he just smiles, and then he's smiling into what's initially an unexpectedly cautious kiss. All that flirtatious bravado, and yet... again, an air of nervousness that's almost sweet. Catching himself, he tries not to think too much; he wants to enjoy this. A hand coming up to rest on the solid wet plane of Liam's chest and the other bracing himself against the edge of the pool, he kisses back with equal enthusiasm, eyes falling softly closed. He allows himself to focus on the sensations of this moment. In the secluded warmth of the water, in the dark, kissing now like he's about to be absorbed. He sighs into it, beyond content.

Eventually Oliver breaks it, hands coming up to gently remove Liam's from the sides of his face; as much as he thrives on feeling needed, even more necessary is oxygen. In a moment of uncharacteristic softness, he brings one of Liam's (large, he catches himself thinking) hands to his mouth and places a kiss to each knuckle, looking at him all the while.

Breathing into the narrow space between them, making saccharine eye contact, Oliver suddenly realizes he's gotten swept away from himself. The realization strikes him cold and nauseous. The clarifying silence reminds him that it's dangerous to get comfortable, and it's dangerous too to let himself want so openly. He doesn't know Liam, and though he might like to, that admission alone carries its own risks. Steeling himself against his unwieldy emotions, he attempts to lock them up tight behind his eyes. Feelings have no business here.

There's nothing but silence for a few brief moments as Liam stares. He can't help himself. Oliver is pretty. The moonlight makes him look exceptionally gorgeous up there beside the pool, and it's clear by the way his eyes dart up and down he's doing an inspection. He loves what he sees, and there's a bonus of him being so peculiar. Only in a good way, of course.

"I'm a man of my word." He practically purrs as he turns to face the splash, pressing his back up against the wall of the pool. His arms tuck behind his back as he waits and watches. He's never been great at swimming, so he can appreciate anybody in the water who's better than him.

When Oliver finally approaches (the wait feels like forever to someone with temperamental patience, such as Liam), he raises his head and straightens up like he's worried about posture. Impressions matter, he tells himself. A bit more flirtation is bound to win him some points. "I don't think I'd be able to say no to that cute face of yours anyway."

His hand raises to give him a sweet, teasing tap on the nose before leaning in. He's quick about it and wastes no time grabbing his face to drag him into the kiss. There's gentleness at first, as if he's scared to be too rough lest he chases him away in their first interaction. It's not long before the gentleness fades into a wilder, firmer kiss. He holds Oliver like he's scared of letting him go; he'd never admit it, but there's desperation in how he moves. Liam is so fucking tired of being lonely.

[djlyer]

Scott Porteous, December 26, 2023

Last show of the year, Scott Porteous joined me and we chatted more than we didn't. Hardest working title on the line but really just enjoying this front line of comedy life on air mattresses. Tune in and have some laughs, look for him on the rural tour and all across Canada with Mike Pain and Frank Russo, DYI Comedy at its core coming to a town near you! ( or try your comedy chops at Scott's new Open Mic at Forth Line Pub and Grill 3025 Ness Avenue Monday nights 7:30pm!)

John Mulaney - Kid Gorgeous at Radio City - Stranger Danger

The Tragically Hip  Late December 1987 - The Tragically Hip - All Canadian Surf Club

Kyle Kinane - "I Liked his Old Stuff Better" - This Track is Called I Ain't Tha 1

Kyle Kinane - "I Liked his Old Stuff Better" - This Track is not called if it ain't Ruff

The Pogues -Rum Sodomy & the Lash - Dirty Old Town

[princemannikin]

Captain America Memes

Whenever I see a meme, about Captain America, using the “So, you got detention” format or any format based on the school videos, all I can think about is that John Mulaney skit about assembly.

“And you ha-ha-ha, laugh it up. What was so funny, about when that man couldn’t fit his shields back into the trunk of his Dodge Neon, what was so funny?”

[causewealwayshaveeachother]

im thinkin about the boys watchin john mulaney with julie

alex: oh my god! detective jj bittenbinder!

reggie: holy shit i remember that guy! [in the tone] street smarts!

luke: who's detective jj bittenbinder?

alex: oh did you not have him? during stranger danger every year in elementary school they showed us one of his [in the tone] street smarts! videos. they all had weird tricks for how to deal with abductors

luke: what? no! that sounds great. at my school they just sat us down and told us stuff like "don't take candy from strangers" and "don't go anywhere with an adult you don't know" and "make up a secret password with your parents if they send someone you don't know to pick you up from school" and "if you're being abducted, don't just scream, enunciate clearly and say as loudly as you can 'i don't know this man, this is not my dad, i'm being abducted, please call the police'."

alex: wow, boring. we learned how to punch out the taillight of a car from the trunk

reggie: i tried it out one time at home just to see if it would work and also because i'd already locked myself in the trunk and couldn't figure out how to get it open. my parents were SUPER mad.

alex: he was grounded for a month

julie: wow, i like forgot you guys grew up in the stranger danger era.

luke: is it not?? still??? an era to be cautious of the danger of strangers????

julie: no, now everyone knows you're ten times more likely to be abducted by someone you already know

[shocked silence]

reggie: all my street smarts.... a waste.......

alex: reggie, you're dead

[a-system-of-nerds]

John Mulaney’s “Street Smarts” skit would either be Jonathan talking about Van Helsing’s vampire lecture or Jonathan talking about when he was in school and Mr. Swales was definitely the guy who did the Stranger Danger lecture at assembly. Either way, Mina definitely found Jonathan crying in a room scared for his life and comforted him.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Psycomedian

Okay, so not only is this episode going to focus on comedy, something that has always been one of Miraculous Ladybug's weaker aspects, but a celebrity guest star gets to be the Akuma for the week. Doesn't that sound fun? Surprisingly, yes, kind of?

Let's get into the twenty-second (chronologically the fifth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Psycomedian

We start off with Marinette talking with her friends about all the times she's failed to confess her feelings to Adrien, where we get a little highlight reel of some of the times she's embarrassed herself in front of Adrien while the writers, I mean Mylene, tries to reassure the audience, I mean Marinette, that she and Adrien have made progress and are friends, even though they barely hang out together.

Marinette comes up with a plan to change the way Adrien sees her as “more than the funny friend”, referring to the events of “The Puppeteer 2”, where the clip featured had her and Adrien talk about they should stop pulling pranks on each other... even though Adrien was the one who tried to prank Marinette by pretending to be a statue, and Marinette only acted like she was pranking Adrien back to justify her creepy behavior around him while she thought he was just a statue. This has got to be one of the flimsiest excuses for an episode, and given the plotlines this show has, that's saying something.

Alya tries to reassure Marinette to be herself, though with the way she phrases it, I wouldn't be surprised if you saw it as her subtly insulting Marinette instead.

“I know you're super insecure about how Adrien sees you, but can't you see the flaws you're ashamed of are what make you who you are?”

Nearby, Adrien's friend Nino is showing him a video of standup comedian Harry Clown, voiced by real life French comedian Franck Dubosc.

While I made a joke about it at the end of my last review, I don't think all celebrity guest stars in cartoons are inherently bad, as there have been a lot of standup comedians with great roles in children's media, like Howie Mandel and Weird Al Yankovic in Bobby's World and Milo Murphy's Law respectively. What I think made those shows work more was that they didn't really rely too much on the image of the comedians in the leading roles (although Mandel did appear at the beginning of every episode of Bobby's World and also voiced Bobby's dad), and focused more on the characters they played, trusting them to be entertaining in their own right. The Genie in Aladdin is another good example, as Robin Williams' energetic and upbeat performance was perfect for a character as eccentric as him. I'm going to talk about this more when I review “Penalteam”, but these characters and shows work more because you don't have to know who someone like Weird Al is in order to enjoy a show like Milo Murphy's Law.

The problem here is that Harry is clearly based off a real person, therefore, a lot of kids won't get who he is. In addition, despite being a standup comedian, the jokes don't really match up with the kind of jokes you're used to seeing from those kind of entertainers. While I haven't been able to find a lot of Franck Dubosc's routines with English subtitles, his delivery is pretty good, as is his performance in this episode, but a lot of the “jokes” he tells are either standard puns or just random things he says peppered by him honking the clown nose he wears/pretending to honk a clown nose when he isn't wearing it.

What, did adding “Bazinga!” to the end of every joke not go well with test audiences?

Standup comedy is about overdramatizing everyday life by telling stories about fairly mundane subjects and making jokes about them. When you get down to it, a lot of John Mulaney's most memorable routines are about things that happened to him, like the Stranger Danger seminars his elementary school had, a party he went to in high school, or his experiences trying to get a flight at an airport, but the way he describes them are done in such an energetic way, they become hilarious to watch. Hell, one of my favorite George Carlin bits is just him explaining the etymology of the term post-traumatic stress disorder.

Here, the jokes don't really feel like they're coming from a standup comedian, and while I understand comedy is subjective, the jokes Harry Clown makes here just aren't that funny in my opinion.

And then there's the fact that Adrien didn't find the sock joke funny, when a lot of the jokes he makes as Cat Noir are puns. Instead, while Nino was showing Adrien the video, Adrien laughed at Marinette making some erratic movements while describing her fantasies to be with him. Once again, this isn't exactly the high praise the writers think it is. While Marinette is making Adrien laugh, it's not intentional, and they're playing up Adrien laughing at Marinette's eccentric behavior as a good thing.

Marinette sees Adrien laughing, not knowing he's laughing at her, decides to come up with a way to make Adrien fall in love with her by making him laugh. Ah, going for the Roger Rabbit approach, I see.

Apparently, Harry Clown is a regular at the bakery Marinette's parents own, so she rushes over there to meet up with him while he buys a baguette. Harry figures out Marinette has a crush on Adrien, and reveals he and Gabriel actually go back, as Gabriel designed a French fry costume for his first movie.

Ah, yes, my favorite superhero: Artery Clogger.

Harry promises to give Marinette and Adrien tickets to his latest show, and goes over to Gabriel to offer Adrien a role in his latest movie, where “Super Fry” has to save the world with the help of “Camembert Justice” and “Wonder Potato”. Despite the strange premise and Harry honking his nose while explaining it like one of his jokes, it's supposed to be a serious movie. So is he going the Man of Steel route or the Titans route? While Gabriel seems to be okay with the script as long as the movie gets produced, he has a feeling nobody will actually take this guy seriously.

After happily running out of Gabriel's mansion, Harry and Marinette go over some jokes based off the former's routines, leading to Marinette performing prop comedy in front of Adrien.

Unless you've got Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot hiding in your purse with Tikki, I'm not interested. While Marinette keeps making Lucille Ball and Betty White cry from Heaven with her abysmal performance, Harry gets a call from the only agent in Paris, Bob Roth, and has to get there as soon as possible. While presenting his script to him, I know this might break your suspension of disbelief but Bob can't see how dramatic the standup comedian's movie about a talking french fry really is, and just sees it as a comedy. Is this another jab at the fans who supposedly underestimate the depths of this show? Bob makes a good point that Harry is a comedian at heart and a movie as dramatic as this is a real risk and probably won't bring in a lot of money. Then Harry says his dream was to be a superhero like the French fry and Bob laughs off his dream before tearing up his script, leaving him heartbroken and unable to console an upset Marinette. Right before he goes on stage for his show, Shadowmoth akumatizes him into Psycomedian

Psycomedian himself is... okay.  The design reminds me a lot of Reverser from Season 2 with the use of black and white, only with a red cloak for some reason. I like the emblem being a mix of the classic comedy and tragedy masks. As for his powers, because Harry wanted to make people feel more emotions other than joy, Psycomedian has the ability to force people who look at him to feel the emotion reflected on his mask whenever he squeaks his nose, also like Reverser, but with a wider range.

Gee, where have I seen that before?

Adrien quickly ducks out to transform into Cat Noir, right after making one of the only funny jokes in this entire episode.

Marinette transforms into Ladybug as well and soon meets up with Cat Noir, quickly figuring out they can't look directly at Psycomedian. After retreating into a safe place, Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, a makeup kit. She plans to apply makeup to her eyelids to make it seem like her eyes are open, and lures Psycomedian into a trap. She takes his clown nose, believing it to be where the Akuma is, and gives it to Cat Noir to Cataclysm. However, the Akuma is actually in his fanny pack, where he takes out a new nose and uses his power on Ladybug.

Rather than making her cry like he tried to do earlier, Psycomedian thinks it's better to make Ladybug angrier than the Incredible Hulk after stubbing his toe. Ladybug is now far more aggressive and doesn't even care if civilians get hurt in the crossfire, so Cat Noir has to retreat with Ladybug once again. Admittedly, I like this twist, as it's a different take on the usual formula where this time, Cat Noir has to be the brains of the two while Ladybug is handicapped by the Akuma. They go to the sewers to recharge, and after Ladybug is still literally too angry to die, Cat Noir has to restrain her in some kind of rug while they search for the Akuma, but temporarily lets her go to use her Lucky Charm, which gives her a motorcycle helmet... which she immediately breaks.

But I thought being simple was good! Wasn't that the point of Thomas Astruc's magnum opus, “Simpleman”?

While Psycomedian goes to see if Bob still wants to make the serious movie he originally proposed, Ladybug uses Cat Noir's belt as a blindfold while she steals another motorcycle helmet. Cat Noir uses some makeup lying around to paint over said motorcycle helmet in order to blind Psycomedian before Cataclysming him. Again, I like how Cat Noir figured out what to do, and I really wish we got more episodes like this.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, gives Harry a Magical Charm, and Cat Noir says the obvious and tells Harry to get a new producer after Bob turns down his revised idea for his movie,

Marinette goes to apologize to Adrien for her behavior, and Adrien clarifies he was laughing at her earlier, which again, she's cool with for some reason. And so the episode ends with a rare example of Marinette talking to Adrien before they see Harry go on stage again.

Surprisingly, putting aside the first act, this episode wasn't all that bad. Admittedly, for a comedy episode, there were barely any jokes that I found actually funny, and even the ones I liked like Adrien's dark humor comment only mustered a light “Heh.” from me. While the Akuma was more of a repeat, the way the powers worked made the fights more interesting because they couldn't look at him, even if Ladybug suddenly became Daredevil at the end with how she perfectly managed to parry Psycomedian's punches. And again, I liked the idea of Cat Noir being the one to stop Psycomedian with the helmet, even if he didn't have to paint it, just put it on Psycomedian backwards so he still can't see.

Angry Ladybug was also a really enjoyable part of the episode and it was nice to see Cat Noir play the straight man in their partnership for once. But like with him doing more to save the day, I really think this episode should have been a learning experience for Adrien. He could have learned how reckless he was as Cat Noir after seeing how reckless Ladybug is under Psycomedian's influence, but instead, he became just as angry as she did in later episodes (Sentibubbler, Kuro Neko).

But I still had problems with how Franck Dubosc was utilized for his guest appearance. I already talked about how I think his jokes aren't that funny and not like an actual standup comedian, but the whole movie idea was just really confusing. On the one hand, I like how this is a representation of actors being typecast into certain roles, but on the other hand, it's hard to really take his movie idea seriously because we know so little about it other than it being about talking food and that he makes quips about it. I think if we knew more about it like a better description of the emotional scenes or if maybe the hero was clown-themed like a heroic version of the Joker, Harry's akumatiztion would be better in my opinion.

I was honestly expecting this to be a real bad episode, one of the more frustrating and least funny with tons of Unfunny Marinette Slapstick, but I was surprised to see the Marinette humiliation only last for the first act, and it was mostly a single scene that wasn't even that cringeworthy. Even after she made a fool of herself in front of Adrien, her feelings are taken seriously. When she cries, it's framed as a serious moment. I was surprised that Psycomedian didn't make her sobbing constantly to ruin the drama of that one scene. While I don't get why the writers think Adrien laughing at Marinette's weird behavior is a good thing, especially since we've rarely seen him laugh around her whenever she does stuff like this (Mr. Pigeon 72, Simpleman), I still liked the resolution for how straightforward the conversation was, and other than a simple gag of her gushing over sitting next to Adrien. If we got more scenes like this this season, ones where Marinette and Adrien got to talk more as people, I'd have an easier time believing Adrien when he calls Marinette one of his best friends in “Ephemeral”.

But overall, while it was heavily flawed, I still thought this episode was decent, and given the other episodes I've seen, I'll take decent any day.

For my next review, I'm going to take a look at “Qilin” next for two reasons. 1) Since it leads into the season finale, I want to take a look at “Penalteam” before the last two episodes air, and 2) I would rather take a look at Miraculous Ladybug's attempt to do a racism episode before I have to watch “Penalteam” again for the review.

[nastyburger]

Okay but how did the first meeting tm go between all of the dannyverse tm. Did danny b just show up at danny’s school and go ‘hey im the new sub’? Did dex try and go home for a hot sec? Did SAM try and go home/ to tucker’s place? Did tucker try and go to his house/ danny’s place?? I have questions

the initial meeting period, which i like to call “the search” takes place over like two days, each character having having a different amount of time they spent in the canon universe in reference to “the portal surge” as we’ll call it

(this ended up being really long so im putting it under a read more for everyones sake lol)

dex pops in at the same time as the surge, so hes really been in the canon dimension for like 30? 40 minutes tops? until he finds the trio. he knows immediately hes not in his home (his amity is a lot more advanced with tech) and distinctly remembers being sucked into some sort of portal, so being the smart cookie he is reasonably infers parallel universe and sets out to find answers. he flies around in his mech (invisibly) until he hones in on an ecto signature clearly reading halfa in a crowd. whether its vlad or someone else, dex figures that a halfa was probably his best bet for help so he puts on his hoodie with hood up and slips into the crowd. (the mech is close behind but remains hidden and follows dex around until its needed)

he actually initially bumps into danny by mistake while searching (”oops sorry” / ”sorry, its fine i wasnt looking”) before taking a double take and going “wait that dude has my face??? hold on is he the halfa signature im tracking???” and runs after them. he catches up after they leave the crowd and are in a less populated area and grabs danny’s arm, startling everyone, and essentially going “wait, you’re a halfa right? possibly named danny fenton??” which effectively sends everyone into panic mode until dex pulls his hood down to show he has danny’s exact face and says “can you please help me???”. this panic morphs into full blown freak out.

they eventually calm down though, and set to sort this out. this was around late afternoon.

danny b was launched into a few days before the surge, and was actually dropped a little outside of amity. at first he thought he had been sent into the past, but seeing a news story in a tv store display and seeing a 14 year old danny phantom with white hair and green eyes effectively shuts down his idea. basically has a john mulaney “adult life as a half ghost is already so weird, this might as well happen” moment in a parking lot and moves on trying to find this alt version of himself for help on how to get home.

it was a little tough for him in those few days, he doesnt carry cash and his bank account for his debit wouldnt exist, so he went hungry for a bit (probably used his ghost powers to steal some food when he got desperate) and slept on a couple park benches and all that. its a little sad really.

eventually, after days of wandering around, his ghost sense goes off as he passes a park and sees a group of 4 kids huddled together. its starting to get a little dark out by this point. danny b approaches the gang movie peter b style: from behind, somewhat ominously with his hand outstretch, with the declaration of “hey, kids....” and dex stranger danger panics and electrocutes him with his robot arm. he passes out.

the kids assess the situation, dex being able to read that danny b is a halfa (”how many of you guys is there supposed to be in this universe?” / ”only vlad and me as far as i know.”) and tucker pointing out that he kinda looks like danny if you imagine the hair black (”great, its ANOTHER version of danny like we dont have enough of those”). afterwards, they take everyone to fenton works, canon trio through the door and dex easily sneaking in with unconscious DB.

once danny b wakes up (in his childhood room nonetheless which is a little disorienting), he immediately takes refuge in canon danny’s shower, also taking the time to shave and eat whatevers in the fridge. the trio are a bit weirded out by this older danny, especially when hes on his 4th pudding cup and eating it like a rabid animal (”do NOT judge me its been a hard few days”). but they more or less get used to him, especially when he proves to be a pretty cool guy. once DB’s basic necessities were taken care of, they start to form a plan of action.

the first step they decide on is finding any other stranded interdimensional people. lucky for them, dex locks in on 2 other halfa signatures in the general area. they set out to search the next day.

mourner and ghouly are found almost simultaneously. dex tracks them down immediately and determines that one is flying through the air as a ghost and the other is in human form on the ground. the group splits up with danny looking for the full ghost, db partnered with sam to sniff out the human form one, and tucker staying with dex in the mech (everyone communicating through fenton phones).

danny finds mourner (”i think i found.....a sam? as a ghost?”) and needless to say that first encounter doesnt go well. mourner popped up a couple hours after the surge while it was nighttime, so she spent most of the night flying around trying to figure stuff out but not garnering a lot of information with the world asleep. seeing danny just makes her instantly hostile thinking its another weird ghost trick so she starts blasting and they duke it out for a bit. she really only stops until dex and tucker show up in the mech and reveal themselves does she realize “okay different versions of people i know, this is weird but its not a ghost manipulating me by puppeteering my dead friend around i guess”. she calms down and joins the group.

ghouly is easily the smoothest encounter, the gang has gone through this enough already to not freak out over it. most reaction would probably be mild amazement and typical confusion (”oh wow its a goth sam and........an older danny? with red hair?” / “we found a different version of tucker, i guess he’s a halfa”) ghouly just doesnt have as much reason to panic as much here. he got launched into this dimension at the same time as dex (the moment the surge happen) but was more or less lost and wandering around since his gps and technology didnt seem to have signal. he didnt sleep overnight so he’s running a bit on empty but bought an energy drink and sandwich earlier that morning (he carries cash) so he hasnt gone full homeless mode like danny b did.

while his initial reaction/meet up with the others were definitely the least weird and confusing, ghouly probably does stare at canon danny a little too much to the point where its a bit awkward. (”sorry its just so weird not seeing you wear black and also i still find you really cute and grappling with whether or not this is considered cheating if youre like the same person”)

[fleetwoodmactshirt]

roadtrip headcanons (requested)

i think they’d all have a different vibe and a different energy. i didn’t really rank them best to worst, i just explored what i think the vibe of a road trip with each of them would be like. i also let loose and slipped in some super self-indulgent personal hcs/one-shot au idea that is a WiP about ezra as an intriguing handsome stranger you encounter on your solo cross-country road trip. as a treat. s/o to @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ for suggesting whiskey’s fav song.

frankie morales is the road trip king. no matter how spontaneous, frankie can whip a road trip plan together smoothly. he’s got a spacious truck, he’s got a cooler, he’s got the coziest blankets, he’s got the travel pillow, he’s got the camping gear, he knows the best scenic routes, he’s got the best classic tunes, he’s got the best snacks. he makes homemade sandwiches and burritos, wraps them tightly in tin foil. he heats up frozen pizzas, cuts them into slices. he stores it all in the cooler for lunches. when the supply runs out, you gorge yourselves on burgers and fries at roadside diners. but every morning he’ll stop in the nearest town to buy some apples, or some fresh fruit/veg of some kind. if they’re ripe he’ll get avocados that he’ll cut in half for you both to scoop out with a spoon to eat plain while you sit together in the bed of his truck in the shade of a lake you’ve stopped at for the afternoon. but he surprises you with your favourite junk food and snacks. he lets you borrow his cap if the sun is in your eyes; he’s got a spare, more threadbare one in the glove box. he’s low key done the research on the best places for stargazing; you lie back nestled together under a blanket, in the bed of his truck, gazing upwards; you listen as he describes the constellations, tracing them out with his finger.

max phillips. business road trips but max’s...condition necessitates driving at night only. liminal spaces. driving through the night, sleeping in business hotel rooms during the day, dust motes floating in the thin streams of sunlight peeking through the cracks in the curtains you’ve pulled shut. you see incredible sunsets and sunrises from the highway. you also see some undeniably weird shit late at night on road trips with max. he watches you eat breakfast food at 2 am in neon lit 24/7 diners. while on the road he passes you lots of candy throughout the night; he stocks up from the hotel vending machines. but no matter how much caffeine and sugar he tries to fuel you with, sometimes you’re lulled to sleep by the peacefulness. you nestle your head against max’s shoulder; it’s not the most comfortable position to drive in but he can’t bring himself to readjust and shift away from you. solitary brightly lit gas stations that are like an oasis of light breaking the pitch darkness. the two of you feel utterly alone sometimes; the world has shrunk down to only you, max, in this car, driving along this empty, dark stretch of road, a blush of purple on the edge of the horizon signalling the dawn.

based on how oberyn canonically took his daughters to explore an abandoned holdfast, i think his road trip energy would be all about the journey and not the destination. road trips with oberyn and ellaria would be meandering and adventurous. sometimes you’re riding shotgun and sometimes you’re sitting in the backseat with ellaria laid out and napping beside you, sun hat dipped down covering her eyes, her long legs stretched across your lap. if the three of you come across a motel you enjoy he’ll feel no urgency to leave; the days blur together and soon you’ve spent a week soaking up sun by the pool and sleeping in late entangled together in a pile of limbs after long passionate nights. day by day you may not even travel very far; he wants to stop and explore. hike amidst rock formations, swim in hot springs, explore the local museums; whatever catches his or your fancy. if he sees a billboard on the side of the road advertising local caves, or a petrified forest, or hears rumour of nearby ghost town that’s all but disappeared off the map, you’ll suddenly find yourselves veering off down small country roads, hours from the highway, seeking out pleasure, adventure, mystery. 

marcus has a hilton rewards card so you’re staying at hilton garden inns every night. clean sheets. comfortable beds. complimentary breakfast. it’s very pleasant. middle class fancy. holds out his hand for you to drop some snacks into his palm so he can remain focused on the road while you’re both munching. let’s you curate the spotify playlists.

roadtrips with javier are always last minute decisions to just take off, head to a gorgeous but isolated beach you’d heard about that’s a few days from here. he doesn’t get many opportunities for long stretches of time off, so when he does you don’t hesitate. you might not even wait for a rational time to leave. it’s midnight and you guys just speed off into the darkness. you just threw some essentials into a bag, jumped in his jeep, and booked it. you gotta buy toothpaste and toothbrushes at a gas station, and you borrow javi’s deodorant stick because you forgot yours. greasy fast food containers, half-empty cigarette packs, and snack wrappers litter the dashboard. his aviators perched on his nose, one hand resting on the wheel, the other curled around your thigh, javi on a road trip is relaxed. he’s leaving all his burdens, his worries, everything weighing on his chest, all of it, behind him. literally, the more distance you guys put between yourselves and where you were, the more uplifted his spirits. when your favourite song comes on the radio, and you’re shimmying in your seat, he can’t keep his eyes off you, his gaze flicking between you and the road. he sings along under his breath, bobbing his head almost imperceptibly and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, a slow smile spreading across his face.

whiskey pulls up to your house at 5 am on the dot, the obnoxious custom sound of the horn of his bronco rattling the windows and scaring the birds out of the trees lining the street. country music jams ONLY. you argue over his taste in music; does he enjoy being a walking cliche? he will not accept any song that doesn’t have a twang to it. he’d be an aux cord hog if he knew what an aux cord even was. so much for your favourite spotify road trip playlists. “spot fly? spot what fly, where?” still has mixtapes he made himself, the same ones he’s been playing since forever. forces you listen to all his favourite songs, the ones he knows all the words to, while he obnoxiously sings along and ignores your eye-rolling. but he doesn’t ignore how your feet start tapping absentmindedly to toby keith’s ‘whiskey girl’. the corner of his mouth quirks up in a smirk that quickly becomes a broad grin as he reaches over to smack your thigh, laughing he’ll make a country girl of you yet. startled out of your daze, you vehemently deny you weren’t enjoying the song, he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. he insists he knows the best places to stop, which means you always end up driving far off the highway to some little mom and pop diner that has killer apple pie for lunch. in the evenings you always end up in some honky-tonk bar that’s joined to a motel and yes, there’s line dancing, and yes he manages to twist your arm and convince you to join in. 

ezra…..as a man who’s floated from planet to planet, following jobs and leads, for the better part of his life, he’s found himself smooth-talking his way into being a lot of people’s unexpected travel companion out of necessity over the years. road trip ezra is on the run from someone or something; maybe the law, maybe not. all you know is this beautiful, mysterious stranger you met under dubious circumstances somehow, with his roguish grin and drawling accent, his kind eyes and eloquence, convinced you to let him ride along with you. you ran into him in the grungy diner attached to an even grungier motel in some desolate nowhere town. you recognized him; he’s unmistakably the lone figure on the side of the dusty road, his thumb stuck out, that you drove past yesterday. you’d driven past but that blonde streak had been unmissable and you won’t admit it but you’d felt his gaze on you long after you’d left him in the dust. ezra’s endless chatter on the road isn’t unwelcome; he knows seemingly innumerable facts about local folklore, flora, and fauna, and he never seems to be depleted of stories. you’d made the conscious and contrary decision to make this cross-country road trip alone, rebelling against a lot of cautionary advice, but somewhere along the way loneliness had creeped in under your skin and settled there. this handsome stranger may have an edge of danger to him but later when he’s bringing you to heights of ecstasy in a motel room you won’t give a damn.

maxwell lord flies everywhere in a private jet. the worst.

din djarin’s entire life is basically one long never-ending road trip. but in space. i figure earth-bound din on a conventional road trip would basically be how we see him: no nonsense. no frivolities. no music; travels in total silence. gets where he needs to go. stops for soup, as needed. stops for repairs, as needed. stops to work an odd job with some really sketchy people for some gas money, as needed. din’s road trip energy would be like that john mulaney joke. you’d see the mcdonalds sign lit up and shining in the distance and plead for him to stop so he’d pull into the drive-thru, order one black coffee and keep driving. except if you’ve got the baby with you; he gets a chicken nugget happy meal for the kid. he’s a good papa! and of course you’d get whatever you wanted too, he provides and cares for his loved ones after all.

SEND ME ANY QUESTIONS/HC PROMPTS/REQUESTS YOU HAVE

[elara-arche]

August 25th, 1997

Dear Diary,

Had a math test at school today. Didn’t like it. What’s the point of triangles, anyway? I already know I’m not gonna do anything involving triangles. But I think I did okay on it, only got confused around the end. Anyway, at lunch today this lady came up to me and started asking me weird-ass questions. Like, the fuck, lady, I’m not interested in ‘special opportunities’, I’m fucking playing kickball. Some other kids told me to go tell the teacher or run or something but like. What was she gonna do, just grab me and run? I know about stranger danger, thank you. I’ll just kick her or something.

Anyway, that was probably the most interesting thing to happen today. Besides Geoffrey getting sent out into the hall for throwing a pencil at Ms. Rosebury. She deserved it, but I hate Geoffrey more so I don’t know what to think.

Bye for now,

John

August 26th, 1997

Dear Diary,

The lady was there again. “John, I’d like you to come with me.” Fuck no, lady. How do you know my name? I just shouted at her (we were in the courtyard area after school) until she went away, but I think she’ll be back. So I’m bringing a whole bunch of stuff in my backpack to school. This notebook (for clues), that pocketknife I found in the garbage, and a flashlight. In case it’s dark out when she kidnaps me and I have to punch out the taillight and stick my hand through. They never mentioned that at the stranger danger assembly. What if it’s night? Nobody’s gonna see you. Anyway, that wasn’t the most interesting thing to happen today. 4th period was.

Ms. Rosebury wasn’t at school, because that pencil had hurt her head. So we got a sub. And, diary, I think you know what happens when we have a sub. That’s right. Chaos. It was fun, running around with the paste and smearing it on stuff, but the best part was when the sub actually started to tear her hair out, like in cartoons. It was wicked. And, even better, Geoffrey wasn’t there to see it. He was out in suspension for the pencil thing, so he didn’t ruin it. 

Bye for now,

John

August 27th, 1997

Well this is awkward. I’m in the janitor’s closet right now, scribbling this down. Because the principal called me to his office and the lady was there. She said something about a field trip just for me (which I’m pretty certain isn’t a thing), and the principal looked like he’d seen a ghost, so I just sort of ran. Glad I got my backpack. I think

Fuck the loudspeaker just announced that I’m missing and Joy saw me in the hall and she’ll know where I am and she’ll tell that fucking snitch

Fuck fuck fuck do I move? I shouldn’t move, she didn’t see me go in here

wait did she?

nonono no I don’t think sh

August 28th, 1997

Dear Diary

My life is now weird. Like, officially. The lady caught me, sorry I didn’t finish that entry, but she’s kinda nice, I guess. Her car is swanky, and she didn’t shove me in the trunk so that’s a good sign. I guess. Anyway, she said she called my parents and they said this is okay, which I’m inclined to believe. She’s sort of teaching me how to drive, while she takes me to some place. Teaching me about the shift stick and stuff. 

Her name is Ms. Bond. I think that’s not her real name. What’s that word that authors use when they’re writing under a fake name? Psy-something. It’s one of those, but I guess Ms. Bond is better than just “that crazy lady with the scary glasses and the briefcase” so. Yeah. The scenery is nice, lots of green pastures and long empty roads, but I can’t help feeling like you could kill someone real easy out here. But why would you bother with a 14-year-old-kid from Wisconsin? I don’t have any money, no treasure (cept that magazine and the cigarettes under my bed) and I definitely don’t have any information or shit. That’s why I’m writing this down, so if the police find me they’ll know I didn’t do nothing. 

I think this is the road to the airport. 

Bye for now,

John

August 29th, 1997

Dear Diary,

I’M ON A PLANE

It’s crazy up here! Super wobbly. I’m kind of nervous. Maybe I should take Xanax or something. Whatever, the clouds are cool. Ms. Bond says we’re gonna be up here for a while, so I’m writing this to help calm me down. I’ll sleep later. 

I don’t think Mom would have let me go on a plane. Dad definitely wouldn’t. But like... you know, this might as well happen. Maybe I’ll be a superhero by the end. 

I think I might sleep now. I just finished the free soda, so the drink cart isn’t gonna come back for a while. 

Bye for now,

John

August 30th, 1997

Dear Diary,

Sorry I didn’t have time to write yesterday. To be perfectly honest, I slept most of the day (jet-lag) and the other half was spent looking at the hotel we’re in. It is the swankiest goddamn place I’ve ever been in. Which is probably usual, since we’re in 

goddamn PARIS

I know. It’s weird as shit and I’m starting to freak out a little, but Ms. Bond keeps being nice (weird) and paying for food and sugar and stuff (weird) and telling me that tomorrow she’s gonna take me to a bakery and then a party, so I’m looking forward to that. 

Kinda miss home though. I don’t think I saved on FF7, and I just know Claire’s gonna mess with it. 

Bye for now,

John

August 32nd, 1997

Dear Diary,

I think I killed someone. Ms. Bond let me drive after we went to the party thing

and I think I think I hit someone important because Ms. Bond just smiled and told me to drive away and I think she wanted me to hit them? Someone came and talked to me today and asked if Ms. Bond had any part in it and I said no because I was the one who hit them and then the man left and then now we’re back on the plane. going home. 

I don’t think I know what’s happening. Ms. Bond said I can’t talk about what happened. Which, lady, I’m not going to do anyway because who would believe me? I’d sound batshit crazy. 

Whatever. I think she’s gonna take this diary, she keeps eyeing it. So, for the last time--

Goodbye,

John Mulaney 

[tofandomhellandback]

We all know Nick Miller is from Chigago, right?

Do you know who is also from Chigago? John Mulaney.

Does that mean Nick Miller went through Stranger Danger with Detective JJ. Bittenbinder? It's more commonly known as

Not gonna lie that would explain so much about his character.

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

No one's saying that Kell didn't fuck up when he agreed to smuggle the black stone but at least he was conned doing something that he had been doing for years with no negative consequences. I seem to recall that a certain Mediteranean-esque Sexy Pants McGee was conned by Stranger Danger looking ass shady character that Rhy KNEW was working for White London, who came up to his room secretly, dismissed his guard and gave him a fucking pendant he said would help him despite him having absolutely no logical reason to want to help Rhy, and you don't see the king and queen getting their panties in a twist over the fact their own heir has less street smarts than an 8 year old John Mulaney. Kell fucked up but he owned up to it and literally killed himself to make it right again PLUS The Danes were gonna make the attack no matter what if he didn't take the bait they would've sent Holland. Then, Kell probably wouldn't have known about it until it was too late. Because Kell fucked up he was also on the case from the very beginning which was also the only reason he and Lila could save the day. Homeboy made a mistake and he took responsibility PAID for it he does not deserve to be ostracized and isolated by his loved ones while his brother isn't held responsible

[fallen-imagine-angel]

New in Town - Steve Harrington x Reader

Notes: I love John Mulaney so that’s why I titled it the way I did. Sorry not sorry :) but this fic is short & sweet! Let me know if you guys want a part 2 because that is definitely possible. Please leave a like/comment/reblog, it really helps! Thank you!

Summary: You’re new in town and the cute boy at Scoops Ahoy wants to get your number.

New in Town

Steve Harrington x Reader

Requested?: Yes, by anonymous: “Could I request a Steve x reader where shes Dustin's cousin, and Robin & Dustin work together to be Steve's wingmen on asking her out?”

Word Count: 1,245 (short but sweet)

Warnings: I don’t think there are st3 spoilers? Otherwise, it’s pure fluff, babyyy. 

You walk into Starcourt Mall. It’s your second day in Hawkins, Indiana. You were supposed to be going to college this year, but your mother forced you to take a gap year and stay with your aunt and cousin, the Hendersons. You had argued against it, but once you saw Dustin again, you decided that ultimately it was for the better. You needed a break from the craziness of your hometown.

Little did you know, the craziness of Hawkins, Indiana outweighs your hometown tenfold. 

“One, uh, small chocolate ice cream, please.” You tell the guy at the counter.

“You...look familiar. Do I know you?” The boy asks, his fluffy hair bouncing as he moves. You raise your eyebrows.

“Um, no? I’m new here, I just arrived a couple of days ago…” You trail off, furrowing your brows.

“(Y/n), there you are!” Your little cousin, Dustin, arrives at the ice cream shop.

“This is your cousin you were telling me about?” The guy behind the counter’s eyes go wide. You frown.

“You told people about me?” You look at Dustin with confusion.

“Only him,” Dustin replies, winking at the guy. Steve gives the curly-haired boy a dangerous look.

“Um, I’m sorry, who are you?” You turn to the guy.

“I-I’m Steve. It’s nice to meet you.” He extends his hand.

“(Y/n)...nice to meet you, too,” You say, shaking his hand. You let go and look at Steve expectantly.

“Oh- your ice cream!” He gasps and gets to work making your ice cream.

“Steve’s a real lady killer, (Y/n).” Dustin nudges you. You give him a weird look.

“Okay, weirdo, I don’t care. I’m not from here, remember?” You nudge him back. He chuckles.

“Is this another point for the ‘you suck’ side?” A girl pops out from the back room, putting another tally on a whiteboard.

“Wha- no! Robin, stop!” Steve goes red in the face, pushing the girl into the back room and shutting the windows.

“Can I just...get my ice cream, please?” You frown sadly, looking at the ice cream half-heartedly.

“Um, yeah, sure. Sorry.” Steve gets back to making your ice cream, still red. He finishes and gives it to you. 

“How much?” You take out your wallet.

“It’s on the house.” He smiles at you. You raise your eyebrows.

“You sure?” You ask, shocked that he’d give a stranger free ice cream. You suppose you know him by association, though.

“Yeah, totally. I’ll see you around?” His face seems hopeful as he smiles at you again. You give him a small smile back.

“Yeah, hopefully.” You nod and walk off with your ice cream.

~3rd Person POV~

“Dude, did you see that? She smiled at me!” Steve looks over at Dustin once you’re out of earshot.

“Yeah, I did. But my cousin’s a tough one, just because she smiled at you doesn’t mean she’ll date you.” Dustin warns Steve.

“Dude, just because a girl smiles at you never means that they necessarily want to date you.” Steve hits Dustin lightly in the shoulder.

“True.” Dustin shrugs.

“Big deal, she smiled at you. So what? No, Steve, you need to get her number. That’s when you should celebrate.” Robin walks out of the back room, ice cream scoop in hand.

“How do I do that?” Steve asks as worry etches onto his features.

“Next time she comes here, you just smoothly ask her for her number. You can say something like you want to give her a tour around town from a local, or something. Maybe even say that you’d like to become her friend. Be nice, be casual.” Robin crosses her arms, acting like it should be obvious.

“How will I be sure that she’s going to come back?” Steve asks, running a hand through his hair.

“I’ll make sure she does. I’ll get her here.” Dustin smiles at the pair of teenagers.

“Perfect. I’ll be in the back room the entire time. It’ll go down tomorrow after lunch, got it?” Robin points at Dustin.

“Got it.” Dustin salutes and walks off.

“Are you sure I can do this?” Steve asks, doubting himself.

“No. But I am sure that I give great advice, so you’ll be fine, Steve,” Robin pats his arm, “now get back to scooping ice cream. My lunch break isn’t over yet.” 

~Back to your POV~

The next day, you’re hanging out with Dustin. 

“(Y/n)! Let’s go get ice cream. Please, please, please?” He pleads, dragging you over to Scoops Ahoy. You roll your eyes.

“If this is to get me to talk to Steve--”

“No! Why would I do that?” He cuts you off, acting way too nonchalant. You sigh.

“Hey, you’re back!” Steve perks up when he sees you walk into the store. You nod.

“Yeah, Dustin wanted ice cream. I suppose I’ll get some, too. Can I have a scoop of chocolate ice cream? And Dustin can have his usual.” You tell him, looking over at Dustin. If you’re being honest, you wouldn’t mind Steve asking you out, he is cute. You’re just not sure why your cousin is so set on getting the two of you to date.

“Coming right up.” Steve gets your order ready, setting it down. You pay.

“Alright, Dusty, you ready to go?” You hum, taking a bite of your ice cream.

“Um, not yet. I gotta go to the bathroom. Wait for me here?” He grins at you, giving Steve a thumbs up as he leaves.

“Kids.” You scoff, laughing as you take another bite of ice cream.

“I know...right? They’re, um, weird.” Steve rubs the back of his neck nervously.

“You know another thing that’s weird? You, right now. What’s going on?” You ask, pointing your spoon at him.

“M-Me? Weird? What, that’s...crazy.” He clears his throat, giving you a weak smile. You give him a look.

“Spill.” 

“Fine, I just want to ask you for your number.” He sighs dejectedly, looking down at the counter.

“Okay, do you have a pen? I’ll write it down.” You set your ice cream down. His head shoots up.

“Wait, you said yes? I wasn’t expecting that.” He grabs a napkin and a pen, handing them to you. You write your number down.

“Yeah, sure. I mean, your cute and you’re good friends with my little cousin, so what’s the problem?” You slide the napkin back over to him, your number written neatly on the front.

“I- um, wow. Thanks.” He breathes out, sticking the napkin in his pocket.

“I expect a call from you soon. Preferably to ask me to dinner or something.” You hum, picking your ice cream back up as you see Dustin coming back.

“W-Wha-- seriously?” Steve’s eyes go wide at your words.

“Oh, look, Dustin’s back. See you later, Stevie.” You wink at him, pushing yourself off the counter and walking away with Dustin.

“Wait! (Y/n)!” Steve calls after you, ultimately giving up. Robin walks out from the back.

“She’s good at what she does. Hey, mind if I get that number off you, Steve?” Robin grins, nudging him in the arm. He stares at you as you walk away, laughing with Dustin.

“No way, Robin. She likes me and I am not going to screw this one up.” He breathes out, a wide smile making its way onto his face.

“Whatever you say, Harrington. You better call her tonight.” She snorts, going behind the counter.

“There’s no way you can stop me from calling her tonight.”