#john mulaney and bill hader

[simptasticjoe]

A Cry for Help: John Mulaney Baby J

When AI technology copies the voice of John Mulaney, he will be out of work for good, because I can’t imagine a single studio taking a chance on him after seeing his new comedy special, Baby J. Let’s me give a little backstory first before I get into it. Mulaney is a standup comedian who went to rehab in 2021. He is reportedly “clean” now and decided to do a Netflix Special explaining his time…

[80smoonlight]

bill hader and pete davidson absolutely losing it on john mulaney presents: everybody's in l.a.

+ bonus:

[weekendcuckdate]

snl cast/alumni, for new york magazine.

[petey-davidson]

Pete on Everybody's In LA

[dorothy16]

vulture “SNL has become so interwoven into the pace of New York City and how we organize its place in the culture that it feels unbound by time, as if it had always existed and always will,” writes Jesse David Fox. At the link in bio, more from our “Reasons to Love New York” cover. #RTLSNL

[unfunnystandup]

50 YEARS OF SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

Happy 50th Birthday, SNL!

It wasn't until I went down the Bill Hader rabbit hole in 2019 that I realized how much Saturday Night Live shaped the comedy I grew up with, comedy today, and pop culture in general. It's been on for 50 years but the first time I remember hearing about it was in university, through the Lonely Island song "Jizz In My Pants".

I didn't know Wayne's World, Coneheads, and Superstar were movie spin-offs to popular sketches on the show; that it catapulted Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, and Bill Murray to fame; that it's provided us Late Night hosts, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Fallon, and Seth Meyers; or that I have it to thank for Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig who would go on to create and star in some of my favorite female comedies: Mean Girls, 30 Rock, and Bridesmaids.

I don't know how well those 90s spin-offs have aged (probably not well⁠—even Superstar I couldn't get behind with then), but I feel the need to give tribute to the institution that has paved the way for some of the most original and fascinating comedies in recent years: Bill's Barry; Will Forte's MacGruber and The Last Man on Earth; Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph's Forever; John Mulaney's stand-up specials; Bill, Fred, and Seth's Documentary Now!; Jason Sudeikis' Ted Lasso, and The Lonely Island's Michael Bolton's Big, Sexy Valentine's Day Special — along with all the cool shit they're producing like Palm Springs and I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson.

📸 David LaChapelle for New York Magazine (2024)

p.s. so excited for the 50th anniversary show in February!

[topperscumslut]

Flip the Script (NSFW)

Summary: Bill punishes you after you make him break character during a sketch

Time: roughly sometime from 2008-2010

Content/warning: smut, porn with a plot, unedited stoned writing, fingering, oral (fem receiving), spanking, vaginal sex, protected sex, choking, breast worshipping, brat kink, praise kink, begging kink, male moaning, public sex

Word Count: 1.8k

It was your favorite night of the week - Saturday night. It wasn’t that you had a crazy party to go to, well, not until after work at least. It was that you had the best job in the world, working for Saturday Night Live with your steady boyfriend Bill and your castmates who were like family to you. Tonight, you and John had something special planned.

Mulaney was always making Hader laugh by switching his lines in Weekend Update with Stefon, but this time John had let you take the reigns. You were newer to writing but he coached you through it, and with a little help from Andy Samberg, you had a sketch that was sure to send your boyfriend into hysterics.

You felt a little bad at first, you didn’t want to upset or embarrass Bill, but John reassured you he did it all the time and he wasn’t upset. He was right, you thought, and what should I be scared about? Even if Bill was mad, he would never hurt me… unless I wanted him to.

Now, it was finally the night of the show and you, John, and Andy, couldn’t contain your giggles about the switched lines you were unexpectedly springing onto Bill later tonight. You made your way over to your boyfriend’s makeup chair where he was getting ready for the show, already in his game show host character suit, and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, love bug!” he wrapped you up in his arm, “I’m so excited to be performing the first sketch you’ve ever written tonight! That’s huge!”

You giggled at how enthusiastic Bill got over you, you really were extremely lucky. “I gotta admit, I do have a few little surprises planned…”

Bill’s eyes widen.

“You better not make me break up there!”

“Aww, whatcha gonna do about it Hader, punish me?”

This makes his eyes widen even more, before he collects himself and pulls you in closer, whispering in your ear.

“That’s exactly what I’ll do.”

You attempt to control the arousal now pooling between your legs from the rasp in his voice, and see how much you can get away with teasing him.

“Oh noooo, I’m so scared!” you chuckled, giving your lover a snarky wink.

“You’re scared? I have no idea what I’m gonna have to say out there!”

You roll your eyes with affection and place your hand on his neck, “babe, it’s not that bad, I swear. I love you, and I know you’re going to crush it.”

Bill plants a kiss on your cheek. “I love you too.”

The two of you pull yourselves together from the dishevel of the sexual tension, and continue getting ready for the night before exchanging a quick peck right before the start of the show.

After opening with one of your skits with Amy, Bill is up. John flashes you a mischievous grin and you feel your stomach churn from adrenaline.

Only a few seconds in, you’re getting the tiniest smile out of Bill, him shooting you a look as he sees his opening line is changed. By two minutes in, he can hardly keep it together as his lips grow into a goofy smile and he’s nearly doubling over with laughter.

You lock eyes with him as he starts to calm down from his laughing fit, mouthing “good boy,” which causes him to squirm in an attempt to fight back both the laughter and the sudden tent growing in his pants.

By the end of the sketch, you and John are laughing your asses off and Bill is red as a tomato, playfully flipping the two of you off as he walks backstage.

He takes you into his arms and places a chaste kiss on your lips, pinning your hands behind your back when you try to hold his face. “I don't know whether to be more proud of you for your writing or annoyed at you for embarrassing me.”

You kiss him back with a small laugh. “I’d stick with proud.”

He leans down and whispers in your ear, “let’s just hope you decide it’s worth it after tonight.”

Chills run down your spine in lust and anticipation as Bill kisses your cheek and walks away. The rest of the night goes by smoothly, act after act, just as planned. At the end of the show, you and the rest of the crew all join the stage to say your goodbyes, before gathering together to clock out and head to the cast after party.

Bill’s already teasing you in the back of the taxi, kissing your neck with his fingers in your hair, and rubbing his hands up and down your thighs.Your purple cocktail dress barely covers you, and your beloved boyfriend can’t keep his eyes off of your body.

When you make it to the nice Mexican restaurant the party is at, you greet the cast, hugging an already tipsy Kristen and fist bumping Andy. You and Bill go sit down with Seth and Jason and make small talk while waiting for your food after ordering. In the middle of the conversation, you feel Bill feel his way up your leg, making his way from your knee nearly to where your legs meet. He pretends to nod along to something Jason said, but then turns and nods to you to ask for consent, to which you nod back.

Before you know, Bill has his right hand in your panties, massaging your clit while you fight to hold back your moans.

“You doing ok, (Y/N)?” Seth asks.

“Y-yeah, just, a little, um buzzed.”

Bill laughs, shaking his head with affection, “my little lightweight.” He shoots you a devilish glance, knowing damn well the real reason isn’t the alcohol in your system.

Right as you start to speak up again, Bill gently sticks one finger inside of you, causing you to gasp. You collect yourself as quickly as possible, trying not to let on to what was happening under the table.

Bill suddenly stops, abruptly stepping up from the table, announcing he’s going to use the restroom, leaving you with the guys to pretend like nothing had happened. Within five minutes, the three of you had diverged, still waiting for your food, splitting apart and joking with your coworkers when you get a text from Bill.

Meet me in the closet by the kitchen.

You bite your cheek, exhilaration flooding your body. No one will notice if both of you are gone for a couple minutes, right? You excuse yourself, walking to the hallway and right past the bathrooms, over to a large closet across from the kitchen.

You open the door and Bill beckons you in, shirt already unbuttoned, before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

“Did you think it was funny making me break out there, doll?” he asks, fingers brushing your chin. He kisses you again before you can answer.

Between heavy breaths, you try to talk some reason into things. “Bill, we can’t do this here, someone could catch us. What if our friends-“

“What? What if our friends what? You can make me break character on live television, but are scared of all our friends knowing what a good little slut you are for me?”

Your breath catches in your throat, unable to speak. Bill starts to kiss up and down your body and you surrender to the sensation as he engulfs his face in your breasts, slipping off your dress to expose you to his touch and sucking and licking them while praising you. Telling you what a good girl you are, what beautiful tits you have for him. He leaves dozens of hickeys on your chest before making his way down to your bikini line.

Bill starts to kiss around the bottom of your pelvis, making you whine and beg for him. He finally gives in, holding you up against the wall before removing your lacy panties and sticking his face between your legs. Your knees start to give out as you moan and gasp his name, Bill licking up and down your folds and sucking teasingly on your clit. He inserts two fingers into you, curling them around your g spot, before pulling out as he feels you start to clench.

“Damnit Bill!”

He chuckles a little and looks you up and down, “told you there’d be consequences.”

Bill starts to undress, throwing his clothes recklessly onto the floor. He pulls out and slides on a condom, before lifting you up onto the wall again and making you beg before sliding into you. He steadies himself by placing his hands above your head before starting to pump into you as a familiar Arctic Monkeys tune plays through the restaurant stereo.

“Holy fuck, Bill! Harder!”

At this point, you don’t really care who hears. All you care about is your desperate need to cum. Most of the cast is probably enjoying their dinner anyway, none the wiser to you and Bill being gone.

You gasp in pleasure and pain as Bill raises his hand and spanks you while thrusting in you. “Such a good little fucking brat. Taking it so well.”

You start to feel him throb inside of you and his dominant demeanor falls from his face as his head tilts back and his eyes roll back in pleasure, lip quivering. You can tell he’s getting close and clench your walls on him, eliciting a deep groan.

Bill’s speed increases as he muffles his moans into your neck, so close to release. You feel your orgasm approaching as well and dig your nails into his back as he pumps into you. You throw your head back, nearly hitting the wall before Bill’s hand secures you, as he fills you completely and the tingling pleasure overtakes your whole body. You swear you see stars as Bill pushes you over the edge, hand wrapped gently but firmly around your throat.

Bill reaches his high at the same time, pulling you into him for an intimate kiss, hands fondling your body. He pulls out of you before planting a kiss on the top of your head and helping you get dressed, adjusting the collar of his shirt as the two of you make your way back to the party.

“You did such a good job, babygirl,” he whispers to you with a kiss as you join the rest of the guests.

“(Y/N)!” Kristen calls to you. “Where the hell have you been? Your quesadilla is getting cold!” She gasps in surprise and amusement as her eyes draw to your neck and chest, noticing your hickeys.

“Damn, why do I never get that treatment when I make you break?” John chuckles.

Bill turns beet red again, laughing awkwardly with the group while helping you to your chair. After a long night of laughs, food, and drinks, you and Bill finally make it home, changing into your pajamas and holding each other until morning, excited to spend your day off together repeating the night before.

[cant-get-worse-than-this]

Hey guys

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Good morning!

I know it's been a long time since I've posted (I've finally settled in to my new home with my boyfriend Jeff), but I had to write about my new favorite comedy thing right now:

EVERYBODY'S IN L.A.!

There have been two live episodes so far (Coyotes and Palm Trees), but the chaotic and absurd nature of the program has been an absolute BLAST to watch, and I am totally digging John Mulaney's new look lol.

If you're a fan of improv comedy or just want to see some of your favorite comics sitting in a 1970s living room set getting snacks from a roving robot (Saymo scared the SHIT out of Jon Stewart last night on multiple occasions lol), then I urge you to watch.

The episodes are live at 10pm ET, and there are four topics left:

Helicopters

Ghosts

Earthquakes

LA

And so many fun guest stars will be showing up, including my boys Gil and George! (Oh...HELLO)

Have you been watching? What do you think of John's talk show format? Doesn't it sound similar to what he proposed about interviewing experts in that ill-fated 2020 GQ article?

But I always wanted to do a talk show where the guest is always someone from a job that I don't understand. I'd love to interview a dog catcher and be like, "What is that like? How do you feel about yourself? I'm not judging, but I am a little. How do you feel rounding up dogs and taking them to the pound?" I had two ideas for a talk show once. And by ideas, I mean I thought about them in the privacy of my own room. One would be just interviewing people who do anything that interests me. And I don't mean like on the ground and I'm watching them do their job. It would be like a talk show set and they'd come out and there'd be a band and so forth.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the rest of the episodes, and keep it here for more comedy fun! ✌🏼🐔

[hauntingneighborhood]

i wanna do what tashi duncan did to bill hader and pete davidson

[fuckyeahbillhader]

tonight!

[kidneys-and-custard]

My all time favorite prank is to watch Documentary Now! with a friend after telling them it’s a documentary and see how long it takes for them to notice

[aquamarine33]

JOHN AND BILL HUGGED LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

[dorothy16]

nymag Introducing the “Reasons to Love New York” issue, featuring 60 past and present cast members of @nbcsnl on a cover so stuffed with stars that we had to expand it into the first five-panel fold-out cover in the magazine’s history. ❤️ #RTLSNL

[live-and-die-in-la]

Everybody’s in LA: The Emmy Episode!

!!!!! EARTHQUAKE !!!!!