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mariana-oconnor · 2 years ago

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The Dying Detective pt 2

No doubt you will recall that at the end of my last letter, I told you how I left the gravely ill Holmes to carry out his instructions.

If it turns out Holmes really is ill and not faking, man will I look dumb.

I'm pretty sure he's faking, though.

I stood whistling for a cab

And when it came near, the licence plate said Fresh and it had dice in the mirror.

Tonight the part of John (James) Watson will be played by Will Smith.

I was a kid in the 90s, some things are just automatic

Now back to the actual story and the weirdest, most abrupt conversation in literary history:

"How is Mr. Holmes, sir?" he asked. It was an old acquaintance, Inspector Morton, of Scotland Yard, dressed in unofficial tweeds. "He is very ill," I answered. He looked at me in a most singular fashion. Had it not been too fiendish, I could have imagined that the gleam of the fanlight showed exultation in his face. "I heard some rumour of it," said he. The cab had driven up, and I left him.

I included all of it because I find it both intriguing and hilarious. Particularly the sudden ending. Also, clearly there are two possibilities for our Inspector Morton: 1) he is somehow involved in the 'poisoning' of Holmes and is exultant that it has 'succeeded', 2) he is in on the scheme and trying to catch the dastardly poisoner and is exultant that Holmes has succeeded in fooling Watson.

Given that he seems to be someone Watson has worked with before, it would be odd for it to be number 1. Also, I don't remember Sherlock Holmes ever having a 'don't trust the police because they're corrupt' storyline off the top of my head. It's far more usual for the argument to be 'don't trust the police because they are incompetent.'

But still, just a very strange and clipped exchange between the two. Clearly it must have meaning because why else would it exist. I'm going with Holmes working with Morton to catch our villain.

All was in keeping with a solemn butler who appeared framed in the pink radiance of a tinted electrical light behind him.

I love the whole description of the house. ACD does have a gift for describing things in ways that you can't necessarily picture, but you can absolutely feel.

But the fact the guy has pink mood-lighting in his hall is amazing. Imagine walking into a house and everything being pink?

My humble name and title did not appear to impress Mr. Culverton Smith.

The judgement in that one sentence is palpable. Good to see that even when out of his mind with worry for his friend, Watson still has enough of himself to bitch about people. You can hear it. Like 'OK Mr Smith.'

I hope the butler isn't involved because I kind of like him.

Unless the butler is Mr Culverton Smith and he's just putting on some voices for Watson to overhear. In which case he's already better at conning people than Victor Spalding.

Before the apologetic butler had delivered his message I had pushed past him and was in the room. With a shrill cry of anger a man rose from a reclining chair beside the fire.

OK, fine. They're different people. But it's not like we haven't had weirder things happen in these stories. A man trained a snake to climb through a vent, down a rope and bite people, a man pretending to be his own butler would be practically normal.

I saw a great yellow face, coarse-grained and greasy, with heavy, double-chin, and two sullen, menacing gray eyes which glared at me from under tufted and sandy brows. A high bald head had a small velvet smoking-cap poised coquettishly upon one side of its pink curve.

Watson always writes such flattering descriptions. At least it's of the bad guy this time. Or at least, who I assume to be the bad guy. Love the word 'coquettishly' just popping up to be fabulous in the middle of all that creepiness.

His face is yellow, but his scalp is pink. I know that there's a connection to East Asia, but I genuinely do not know if this is a racist description or if it's just that Mr Smith isn't very well. That combination of colours certainly seems unhealthy. Watson, you should give him a check up while you're at it He might have accidentally poisoned himself. Or maybe he's just standing with one of his mood lights shining on his head from behind.

I caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror over the mantelpiece. I could have sworn that it was set in a malicious and abominable smile. Yet I persuaded myself that it must have been some nervous contraction which I had surprised, for he turned to me an instant later with genuine concern upon his features.

For someone who is so very savage in his physical descriptions, Watson is startlingly kind in his impressions of people's characters. 'Oh, it must have been a nervous contraction'. Convincing himself to doubt his own eyes. This is the second 'momentary expression' of this section, though. Watson must feel like the world is glitching on him with all these nervous contractions.

Or, alternatively, that's Watson the narrator putting his spin on things to say 'look, I saw that there was something up' at the time.

"There are my prisons," he continued, pointing to a row of bottles and jars which stood upon a side table. "Among those gelatine cultivations some of the very worst offenders in the world are now doing time."

Even if Mr Culverton Smith isn't guilty of killing his nephew, he should definitely be arrested for unsafe treatment of hazardous materials.

Watson, if I were you, I'd steer very clear.

"Tut, tut! This sounds serious. It would be inhuman not to answer his call."

That well known cry of alarm and urgency: tut tut.

Look, if I sat and told someone my friend was dying and only they could save them and they 'smiled pleasantly' and said 'tut tut' after implying that my own professional diagnosis of my friend's state was overblown and exaggerated, I would be telling them to fuck right off. Not that I'm a doctor, but if I were.

Watson shows great restraint in not shaking this man.

I have a note of Mr. Holmes's address.

Because I always remember that I have the addresses of people I have met a couple of times regarding business.

His appearance was as ghastly as ever, but all trace of delirium had left him and he spoke in a feeble voice, it is true, but with even more than his usual crispness and lucidity.

Almost as if he no longer needs you to think he's delirious... almost.

There is just room behind the head of my bed, Watson.

You're really making a grown man hide behind the head of your bed?

How far is your bed from the wall? Are you like that one tumblr post and your bed is just in the middle of the room? How on earth do you think you can stop a man coming to see you on your supposed death bed from noticing the whole-ass man hiding behind the head board? Like, you're going to be in the bed, Holmes. With your head at, I assume, the head of the bed. One assumes that Mr Culverton Smith will be looking at your face. At the head of the bed.

And it's not like Watson can just stand up, unless he's incredibly small or your bed is very tall. Apparently Holmes isn't the only one starving himself.

Why is there a man sized gap between your bed and the wall? Don't you know that's how the demons get in?

Quick, man, if you love me! And don't budge, whatever happens--whatever happens, do you hear? Don't speak! Don't move! Just listen with all your ears.

Well, that's not alarming at all. And raises another question of how many ears Watson has.

Our visitor sniggered.

Does he count as your visitor if you're hiding behind the head of the bed, Watson?

Look, I played hide and seek with my nephew the other day and I had to hide behind a sofa that was against the wall. It was one of the most uncomfortable places I have ever sat. My shoulders did not fit at all. And anyone who wasn't two years old would have immediately known where I was hiding because the sofa was at the weirdest bloody angle all of a sudden. How Watson has pretzelled himself behind this bed, I do not know.

Also, looking up sniggering to see if that's one of the words that has changed in meaning in the last century.

OK, apparently in the early 1800s it merely meant a smothered laugh, with no real implication of derision or mockery. So yes, it has changed, but not a lot. Still not an appropriate response to the situation. I assume by this point Watson has caught on at least a bit to what's happening.

Although the conceit is that Watson is writing this from the future of the story with knowledge of how it ends, therefore unreliable narrator and all that.

"Well, I shouldn't be surprised, Holmes. I shouldn't be surprised if it WERE the same. A bad lookout for you if it is. Poor Victor was a dead man on the fourth day--a strong, hearty young fellow. It was certainly, as you said, very surprising that he should have contracted an out-of-the-way Asiatic disease in the heart of London--a disease, too, of which I had made such a very special study. Singular coincidence, Holmes. Very smart of you to notice it, but rather uncharitable to suggest that it was cause and effect." "I knew that you did it."

Oh, internet gods save us from the arrogance of a man who thinks he can get away with murdering a relative using a method that he is uniquely positioned to access. "uncharitable?" it's Occam's bloody Razor.

You've literally got them sitting on your desk in jars. You absolutely could have made it look like an accident, you utter buffoon. Really, it's the incompetence that gets me. I don't doubt that Holmes would have caught him anyway, but your little desk of experimental OSHA violations is an accident waiting to happen. You're the kind of guy who would smuggle small pox home from the lab to run your own experiments on after you were refused funding for being a menace to society.

But no, you thought you were being smart, trying to keep yourself out of it. And heaven forfend that anyone think you could be incompetent.

I may be getting too into this. He's just a fictional character, after all.

"You're precious near your end, my friend, but I don't want you to go till I have had a word with you. That's why I give you water. There, don't slop it about!"

Nope, I'm right. He's odious. ACD does have a peculiar talent for writing odious little men I want to see crushed like bugs. They are utterly nauseating.

"The fellow who came for me--I've forgotten his name--"

This combined with the comment from earlier and the knowledge that Watson is writing this from the future makes me chuckle, because that comment from earlier definitely seems more pointed after this.

"You are proud of your brains, Holmes, are you not? Think yourself smart, don't you? You came across someone who was smarter this time. Now cast your mind back, Holmes. Can you think of no other way you could have got this thing?"

The condescension is dripping from this speech. Holmes, you are forgiven for being a total bitch in the last part of the story, clearly the need was great. You still need to buy Watson dinner, though.

Seriously, this guy is so overwhelmingly arrogant. He has to have his villain monologue. He has to have someone know what he's done.

"But you have the truth now, Holmes, and you can die with the knowledge that I killed you. You knew too much of the fate of Victor Savage, so I have sent you to share it. You are very near your end, Holmes. I will sit here and I will watch you die."

In 1531, Henry VIII hated poisoners so much that he decreed that the punishment for poisoning would be being boiled alive in oil.

I do not believe in capital punishment, but I can't deny that I understand the distaste for the method. There is something singularly unpleasant about choosing to kill a person in a slow, drawn out way, and watching it happen. A complete detachment of feeling is necessary, or perhaps, the opposite, an unstoppable attachment to the pleasure of having power over that person.

Or perhaps an unstoppable hatred or desperation. I believe, before women were afforded rights to own their own property and divorce became accessible, a number of women used poison as a way to get out of marriages they could not otherwise escape.

You have to really want the person dead, is what I mean.

This is a disease, rather than poison, certainly, but the principle is the same. You either have no other options or you are a specific type of evil.

"The best way of successfully acting a part is to be it," said Holmes. "I give you my word that for three days I have tasted neither food nor drink until you were good enough to pour me out that glass of water. But it is the tobacco which I find most irksome. Ah, here ARE some cigarettes."

Holmes, honestly, you're lucky you aren't delirious or dead. 3 days without water? You utter moron. But oh that nicotine addiction got you hard, huh?

You need to go to hospital for dehydration and starvation you absolute nincompoop.

Inspector Morton appeared.

Option 2 it is, huzzah.

"Good heavens!" cried Holmes. "I had totally forgotten him. My dear Watson, I owe you a thousand apologies. To think that I should have overlooked you!"

Meanwhile, behind the bed, Watson relocates his shoulders.

"I never needed it more," said Holmes as he refreshed himself with a glass of claret and some biscuits in the intervals of his toilet.

Because alcohol is the best cure to dehydration and malnutrition.

"You won't be offended, Watson? You will realize that among your many talents dissimulation finds no place, and that if you had shared my secret you would never have been able to impress Smith with the urgent necessity of his presence, which was the vital point of the whole scheme."

He might be a tad more offended by the fact you said he was bad at his job than the fact you think he's a terrible liar, Holmes.

"Can you ask, my dear Watson? Do you imagine that I have no respect for your medical talents? Could I fancy that your astute judgment would pass a dying man who, however weak, had no rise of pulse or temperature? At four yards, I could deceive you."

You literally told him he wasn't a good enough doctor to treat you. Of course he can ask. You owe him a really good dinner, Holmes. You can butter him up now as much as you like, but you still owe him.

"That pretence I have carried out with the thoroughness of the true artist."

Such modesty. Not that we would expect anything less. But it did make me roll my eyes.

"When we have finished at the police-station I think that something nutritious at Simpson's would not be out of place."

Good man.

I swear I did not know that was going to be the ending, but I'm glad that Holmes agrees with me that he owes Watson dinner.

I will share the Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle. Truly it is a story best enjoyed at Christmastide, but I am sure that with some imagination you can summon some festive spirit!

The next one I have definitely read and I remember watching the Granada adaptation of it. I remember it being pretty funny, so I'm looking forward to it.

This one, I'm not sure I have ever read, which is strange, because I thought I'd read all of the ones that are set early, just not the ones after he goes and becomes a beekeeper or whatever. It was particularly enjoyable, though. A good combination of humour and a loathsome bad guy. Once again, easy enough to see what's going on, but that doesn't spoil the fun of reading it. It's nice to be proven right.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Dying Detective #long post

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turtlethon · 2 years ago

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"Elementary, My Dear Turtle"

Season 7, Episode 13 First US Airdate: October 30, 1993

The Turtles head back in time and team up with Sherlock Holmes to stop his nemesis Moriarty from stealing the future.

"Elementary, My Dear Turtle" is the last episode in the “Vacation in Europe” side season of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is the final story in the series written by Dennis O’Flaherty.

April and the Turtles have returned to England today and join a group of tourists in listening to a historical lecture from a Beefeater, in what I assume is intended to be the Tower of London. Michaelangelo dozes off while standing, and after being scolded wanders away, expressing his disinterest in the subject. While the Beefeater returns to his spiel, Mikey manages to draw further attention to himself by launching into the air using a historical catapult.

Later, the Turtles regroup in the sewer beneath the Duke of Earl Hotel. Donatello takes receipt of a stack of pizzas from a bellboy whose design seems to stray from the show’s standard house style, the first of a few visual aberrations in this outing. As the team chows down, April reveals she’s off to Oxford to interview a noted historian. Raphael quips that they’ll see her again “at the end of the show”. Splinter then pops in to encourage the team to take a greater interest in historical events, telling them “The seeds of tomorrow are contained in the apple core of yesterday”.

Turning their attention to the TV, the team watch as newsreader “John Nose” informs viewers that Greenwich University is now host to the world’s most advanced atomic clock. Donatello is keen to see this for himself, and his team-mates agree to join him. The group sneak into the University’s observatory after hours, bypassing and disabling a laser beam security system. A whirlwind appears from within the atomic clock after Donatello picks it up; moments later, the Turtles find themselves in the same building, but the modern conveniences have all vanished, the surroundings looking more like something from a history exhibit. Before our heroes have a chance to make sense of this a bearded man in a top hat snatches the atomic clock from Donatello.

Michaelangelo attempts to stop the robber by hurling a turtle shell-shaped object at him that I assume was supposed to be his grappling hook. The man counters by lobbing a smoke bomb (drawn as a grenade), providing him with an opportunity to escape.

If the bellboy had an unconventional look, the guy who appears next is something else entirely: a 19th century night watchman who would be more at home in a Tintin book than he is here in Fred Wolf Turtles. The team inadvertently manage to scare the man away with their appearance before exiting the building.

The Turtles exit the building and pursue the thief, with Donatello colliding with a man with the weirdest head shape of any normal human to ever appear in the show. The stranger briefly gets into a fight with Donnie on the steps of the observatory before taking a tumble and injuring his ankle. Meanwhile the clock thief escapes in a horse-drawn carriage, giving his best regards to “Mr. Holmes” before making his exit. It’s at this point that the Turtles realise the man Donnie just clashed with is Sherlock Holmes, now being tended to by his friend Watson. After chewing out the Turtles for their antics, Watson reveals to the Turtles that they’re now in 1890; act one ends with the team realising they’ve been transported back in time, and have no means of getting back.

Act two opens with the Turtles, Holmes and Watson realising they’re all on the same side, and have a shared enemy in Professor Moriarty, the mystery man who snatched the atomic clock. Holmes invites the Turtles back to his residence at 221B Baker Street, and upon their arrival a shady man is seen spying on the group nearby.

Once inside, the Turtles watch as Watson tilts a bust of Sherlock’s head placed inside the window. Holmes explains that several attempts have been made on his life, and the bust is a decoy intended to fool any onlookers who might try to take a shot at him. The group are joined by Inspector Lestrade, who Mikey recognises from his appearance in the movie “Sherlock Holmes and the Spider Woman”. Lestrade explains to the Turtles that it’s believed Moriarty is stealing scientific equipment with a view to taking over the 20th Century. In the same evening that the Turtles arrived in the past, Moriarty used the power of a lightning storm to travel into the future, a time in which he determined the atomic clock would exist; As the Turtles agree to help Holmes in stopping Moriarty, an assailant takes a shot at the bust, as predicted.

The Turtles don disguises and take a train to Oxford, determining that as Moriarty was once a professor there, his hideout is likely nearby. In a staggeringly quick scene (literally four seconds), the team arrive at the station and spot some thugs, tracking them with a view to finding the criminal mastermind. It seems that the mystery men were supposed to have been on the roof of the train – something that was almost impossible to determine from the footage that made it to air unless you were paying exceptionally close attention. Leonardo spots their footprints, noting the soot present due to them being on top of the locomotive. Despite being warned off by a shot from an air gun, the Turtles continue to give chase, dropping into the sewers in search of Moriarty’s hideout.

Scrape marks on the ground point the Turtles in the direction of a wall that acts as a hidden door. Making their way inside, our heroes confront Moriarty, who explains that the atomic clock is the final component of his time machine: when his plan is complete, Sherlock Holmes will have been erased from history, leaving him free to rule the world. He pulls a lever, shutting off the lights; moments later, the Turtles find themselves standing above ground, in what appears to be their own time.

Exploring the city, the Turtles find a parade being held, the assembled crowd cheering for a car containing a victorious Moriarty. Act three opens with Michaelangelo noting that the team have wound up in “the wrong 1991” moments before Moriarty sends his personal army after our heroes. The team battle Moriarty’s troopers, losing a group of them under a crumbling archway before dropping into a nearby river, leading the remaining officers to assume this marks their demise. It takes more than a little water to finish off the Turtles, however, who re-emerge and are greeted by a familiar face: April, who soon grants them refuge.

Though this incarnation of April has never met the Turtles, she explains her willingness to protect them, on the basis that “anyone running from Moriarty’s troopers has to be a friend”. A sliding bookcase leads to a hidden passage; inside are Burne and Vernon, dressed in regal attires, who are both initially hostile until April confirms the Turtles are on their side. The group inform the Turtles that Moriarty keeps the time machine at the Imperial Science Museum, and so the assembled freedom fighters hatch a plan to strike back.

April guides the Turtles to the Science Museum via a secret underground passage. In another one of those utterly nonsensical moments that have been so prevalent throughout this side season, April is shocked as Leonardo whips out a katana, asking “is it an attack?!” for no apparent reason. Michaelangelo explains the noise Leo heard was his own empty stomach, something that didn’t make it into the sound mix for the finished show, effectively removing the setup for the joke. April offers Mikey an apple, which he chows down on before passing the core back to her.

Donatello points out that if they’re successful, the reality they’re currently occupying and everyone in it will cease to exist. April takes this remarkably well, telling the Turtles that it’ll be worth it to stop Emperor Moriarty. Heading above ground, our heroes are confronted by a whip-wielding Moriarty and a group of his troopers. A battle unfolds, and in an indicator of how flaky this episode is, at least on my copy, even the familiar instrumental version of the Turtles theme sounds as if it’s malfunctioning as the video tracking also begins going off the rails. Donatello snatches the atomic clock from the time machine, another whirlwind sending the Turtles back to their own time. Moriarty has also made the journey, and makes another attempt to snatch the clock, being pinned down by the Turtles before he vanishes. A present-day version of the mutton-chopped night watchman from 1890 appears to confront the green teens, who toss him the atomic clock before leaving; notably his modern incarnation is slightly more fitting for the style of this show than the one from the past.

As predicted by Raphael, the Turtles meet up with April again in the concluding scene. After Leonardo makes a vague reference to their time-travelling journey, April is keen to cover a story she’s barely even been told transpired, reaching into her purse; instead of her tape recorder, she discovers an apple core. Splinter takes this as confirmation of his earlier remarks about the apple core of yesterday. As the Turtles inexplicably run away, Splinter suggests to April that perhaps they had too much time on their hands. A lousy joke to wrap up not only this episode, but this entire troubled story arc.

It’s one thing for the Turtles to encounter mythical figures like Merlin, but something else entirely for them to cross over with Sherlock Holmes, who having made his first appearance in 1887 is a relatively recent creation in the great scheme of things. This story perhaps doesn’t exploit such a crossover to its full potential, with Holmes and Watson only prominent in the second act, the Turtles handling the proceedings in the opening and closing thirds of the show. Leonardo becomes the de facto Holmes after the real one bows out, taking the lead in determining Moriarty’s plan. I’m sure keeping the Turtles the stars of the show helps in terms of maintaining the interests of the kids at home, but it does mean that we walk away with this story with a sense that the potential for a proper TMNT x Sherlock Holmes crossover remains untapped. Honestly, this entire side-season is running on fumes as we close things out and I doubt anyone was paying attention.

The most interesting aspect of this story from a continuity perspective is that it explicitly sets the Vacation in Europe season – or at least the end of it – in the year 1991. Keep in mind that this side season kicked off with the Turtles arriving in Paris on Bastille Day (in “Tower of Power”), but during their time in Austria we learned that it was winter, suggesting this vacation carried on for as long as six months or more. To the extent that all the stories in this arc could be considered canon, it seems entirely possible that the Turtles began their vacation in July 1990, sticking around into early 1991. Whatever the path is that the team took around the continent, it seems that it would need to be a convoluted one; no wonder they were away for so long. (Presumably while the Turtles were kicking back, the other assorted crime fighters of New York had to pick up the slack: Casey Jones, REX-1, Aunt Aggie, and perhaps Bugman, though technically these episodes take place prior to his introduction).

From all of this, a case could be made that if the events of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles take place in any specific frame of time, it’s 1989-91; though the show seemed to default to just being set in “year of initial broadcast”, remember that early adaptations of the cartoon episodes sometimes stated the series was set sometime in the near future, which could easily be a couple of years ahead of 1987. Going with this theory, seasons one through three would all take place over a year from June 1989 onwards (in line with April’s dialogue in “Hot Rodding Teenagers From Dimension X” establishing that the first season occurs in June), the Turtles taking their extended vacation in the summer of 1990 and returning at the beginning of 1991. Season four then unfolds through the early months of 1991. “Turtles And the Hare” and “Once Upon a Time Machine” must both take place in Easter ‘91, the year being explicitly referenced multiple times in the latter episode; the rest of seasons five and six would then take place throughout the remainder of the year, with “Super Irma” taking us up to Halloween 1991.

Or maybe nothing that happened in this whole European vacation endeavour, this strange, half-baked waste of time which seems to have limped its way on to our screens years after it was made, should be considered canon at all. Perhaps we should simply put all this mediocrity behind us and prepare for the real season seven, a further fourteen episodes that will conclude the classic era of the series, beginning with our next Turtlethon entry, “Night of the Dark Turtle”.

#Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #TMNT #TMNT 1987 #1992 #1993 #Elementary My Dear Turtle #Sherlock Holmes #Ninja Turtles #Turtlethon #Vacation in Europe #Famous British TV newsreader JOHN NOSE

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losa12308 · 2 years ago

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Remus Lupin Head Cannons

Just some things I think about the dear Remus Lupin and you [Fem!reader (Modern Time AU)]

🌕🍫🪄✨️🌕🍫🪄✨️🌕🍫🪄✨️🌕🍫🪄✨️🌕🍫

Favorite

Movie: Beauty and The Beast. [1991] (It's reminds him of the two of you, with Sirius as Gaston apart from trying kill him)

Character: Chip (He is adorable! Remmy starts calling you Chip after watching for the first time due to how much Chip reminds him of you)

Song: Something there that wasn't there before (He also enjoys kill the beast but when he told you that, it broke your heart and you started crying knowing he viewed himself as the beast)

Scene: When Belle is Cleaning the beast wounds (It reminds him of right after the full moon and you clean up his cuts and scrapes)

[Side note when he does see the other version (Someone other than Emma Watson would play Belle) He cries when evermore is playing but like Soundless tears streaming down his face kind of crying)

TV Show: Midnight Mass (He thinks it's a good show because you two come up with theories. He also likes that you get scared and jump into his lap and snuggle into him more than you already were and he loves knowing that you seek protection with him)

Quotes: "This is why we don't play with fire! . . . I can't stay mad at you, you are so cute" (he would say this to you ALL the time)

Type of Disney movie: Sing Alongs (He loves listening to you sing softly under your breath, but he loves it even more when you are doing it but don't need the words. The first time he said I love you was when he was watching you sing under your breath to part of your world, it slipped out. You looked at him and said 'What?' And he looked down blushing rubbing the back of his neck before you hooked your finger under his chin and said 'Remmy? I love you, too.' before kissing him)

Random

He isn't a huge fan of PDA but at the same time he needs to have a hand on you at all times. whether holding your hand, cheek, thigh, knee, or shoulder he always had a hand on you

As soon as you were alone or with the other marauders he would always be snuggling, you sitting in his lap or rested against him or literally spooning he couldn't get enough of you

You wouldn't have to many Nicknames for him, But the ones you did have were Rem, Remmy, Moons, Mooney, Love, Lovely, Handsome, Gorgeous, Pretty Boy, Hot stuff, and when you got pissed it was Lupin or if you were about to kill him it was John. Not even Remus anymore and as soon as that name came out of your mouth he knew he would feel your Rath. But if he heard John he always wanted to go get cover from the hell fire you were about to rain down.

He had almost double the amount of Nicknames for you that you had for him such as; Baby, Darling, Love, Bun, bunny, bunnybaby, bub, Bubba, Bubby, Sweetheart, love of my life, Aphrodite, My girl, hunny, Babe-a, princess, queen, goddess, and last but not least the one it takes you the longest to respond to Perfection. When he got upset it was Y/N and it had never got to this because he would walk away to cool down before it could ever get to this point but if he could not stand the fight anymore it would be Y/L/N. And most likely after her used that you guys wound be breaking up.

After a full moon he would be very snuggly. Like more than normal, He also wouldn't hold you because he didn't want you to feel forced to be by a 'monster' or so close to something you may fear so you hold him so that he knows you love him and care about him and nothing he could ever do would make you fear him. But of course he would never out right ask for Cuddles. He would look at you with a weary smile and adjust the blankets. You would then tuck him back in and lay down next to him softly. And carefully wrap your arms around him. Depending on how long you two have been together this next part will vary, if you two have been together a while it will be almost instant if not that long it will take longer but he will bury his face in your chest and you will play with his hair as comforting as possible. After you know he is so deep in sleep he could be mistaken for dead. You let your tears fall silently down your face, because it just shatteres your entire being knowing how much physical pain he goes thru twice a month and there is nothingthat you can do about it. If he ever sees you crying then of course he asks what's wrong and IF you tell him the truth he says it's fine that he's use to it and the breaks you further

(THESE NEXT TWO DO NOT APPLY IF YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF SPIDERS)

When there is a spider in your house, Especially if it's really small or big. No really if there is a spider and he finds it first he will pick it up and let it outside before you can see.

However, if you see it first you will scream and run and hide behind him, and everytime without fail he asks 'Spider?' You nod 'You do realize that you are hanging onto and had sex with last night a class 5 monster, right? Why are you afraid of a spider?' And then you say in a small voice 'it has pincers'

Occasionally your period would fall around the Full moon, You would be irritable and something small would happen and you would become upset but Remmy would be in a joking mood and say "It's close to the full moon, Aren't I supposed to be the irritatable one?" Then you give him a snarky look and say "Well Your not the only one who's time of the month it is then" He would give you a confused look before relized what you meant

His favorite song ever would be Iris by the goo goo dolls

#young remus x y/n #remus lupin preferences #remus x you #maruders #remus lupin #remus fluff #remus x reader

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helloliriels · 3 years ago

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Asks by @detafo - More fake fic titles:

The Case of the White Gloves (answered)

Emergency Protocol

Blade of the Knife

Tipping Point

.....................................................................................

Emergency Protocol

John is the kind of charmer most girls would like to marry …

Handsome, funny;

An established writer;

A cable knit wearing, respected London physician;

And a decorated veteran, with a casual limp and a penchant for whiskey that keeps him humble …

Only …

As Sherlock starts to find himself falling for the-guy-next-door ... who has overtaken his life as the horribly attractive flatmate-next-bedroom … he uncovers hidden layers to John’s terrifying set of skills. An emergency protocol that when activated ... takes over the entire man! Changing his personality entirely.

Has the ‘good’ Doctor been hiding a lot more than a shrapnel shaped scar or a purple heart in the closet? Or has he been manipulated and controlled without his knowledge?

Sherlock may have to follow the loose threads … all the way to the center of a spiders web, in order to bring the truth to light. He only hopes he is not too late to follow through with his last vow, to save what remains of John Watson.

Blade of the Knife

One blade, breaking my heart One blade, tearing me apart.

Everybody got a knife it can be just what you want it to be ... A needle a wife or something that you just can't see.

Sherlock had fallen for John, much harder and faster than he was ready for. When John makes a move ... it terrifies Sherlock, and he runs back to the shelter of the familiar. Falling in the public eye and causing John to abandon the life they had as well. Little choice.

He has to begin all over again.

He finds himself a wife. A normal life ...

Trying and failing ... to convince himself that the cuts left behind were not still bleeding ... and that Sherlock doesn't want anything to do with him ever again.

Until one day, he literally finds the detective fallen at his doorstep ... This time high as a kite, and convinced that John's new bride is an assassin with ties to Moriarty! John isn't sure if this is a last desperate attempt to say he's sorry and save him from the biggest mistake of his life? Or the ravings of a madman he should never have trusted with his heart in the first place ...

Tipping Point

So Who's That Ghost Knocking At My Door? You Know That I Can't Love You More

Will You Let Them Out? Will You Let Them In? Will You Ever Know When It's The Tipping Point?

Sherlock jumped.

John watched.

John grieved.

John went through hell ...

So when the ghost of a man, he thought he'd never see again - now darkens his door ... He isn't sure which way side of him will lose ... ?

The side so hurt and angry,

it wanted to never see him again?

Or the side so deep in love ...

it swore to never give up hope?

Either way, they were past the tipping point. From which, their friendship as it was ... could never now return.

(If I loved you less, perhaps I could say it more.)

.......................................................................................

#fake fic titles #ask games #liri answers #inbox OPEN #send me a fake fic title #i'll make up what the fic might be about?#fuck around and find out lol #helloliriels #writer asks

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late-to-the-party-221 · 4 years ago

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ADHD John Watson

Ok so idk how to formulate this, but John Watson is adhd.

He stims (sometimes. It’s probably just martin freeman stimming tho. Freeman taps his hand on his leg & snaps his fingers. John plays with his face though. When they’re saying goodbye with that lead-up for a love confession that fell through, he pursed his lips. IDK if this is a stim or just smth he does.)

He has emotional dysregulation (He has anger issues & emotional outbursts, like when he tackles sherlock in the restaurant; He doesn’t react like a nt to danger, most nt ppl would react more emotionally, but his emotions are dysregulated so he reacts differently; He went from beating sherlock up to getting him Irene Adler’s first aid kit in two minutes; He got into a row with a chip & pin machine)

He says the same stuff often (I was a soldier, I was a soldier. Maybe he feels like nobody acknowledged that, so he needs to say it again so they actually understand him for once)

Recognition Responsive Euphoria (this is the opposite of rejection sensitive dysphoria. His soldier skills are a point of pride for him, another reason he keeps bringing up his service.)

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (He is so hurt by major whatshisface when he mentions John is retired; He is so hurt when sherlock insults his intelligence, that he doesn’t even want to try- like with the shoes that moriarty left in 221c; He’s hurt often, esp when compared to sherlock)

He doesn’t accept Sherlock’s praise (In the hounds of baskerville sherlock compliments him & he just doesn’t accept it)

He is stuck in pattern (Idrk abt this one, but he called sherlock “nurse” when in a medical emergency, & he kept his apartment minimalist when he lived alone)

He went to med school (if we follow the theory that he was poor & from an abusive family with an alcoholic dad, idk how he got the money to go to med school, but becoming a doctor could have been his hyperfixation, & then he would hyperfocus on his schoolwork, which is how he got his degree. Personally, I could never do that, but my adhd symptoms aren’t universal.)

He joined the military (We partially believe this was to escape from his abusive family, maybe also to pay off his student debt, but maybe it was also because he needed the structure. ADHDers often struggle with “basic” things, so he probably needed someone else to provide shelter & food so he didn’t have to think about it himself, hence the military.)

He joined the military (again) (I struggle with summer vacation bc there’s no structure & so I don’t get anything done & it makes me anxious. John could be the same: he needs the routine that he doesn’t need to uphold himself, wake up, shine your boots, whatever. He is in charge of others, adhd ppl can be bossy sometimes, but he also gets to listen to orders. He is given clear instructions, & then he does them. It’s nice to have externally imposed structure when you’re adhd. He didn’t have to make decisions.)

Last time with the military I promise (The military taught him to suppress his emotions- emotional dysregulation solved; they also taught him discipline which ADHDers struggle with. He joined to stop his adhd impulsivity. Also, he joined the military to suppress his sexuality, but that’s just me lol)

He sometimes doesn’t notice things (this might just be bc he’s beside sherlock, but john doesn’t notice certain things, including social behaviour; like in the restaurant scene, he asks sherlock if he has a romantic partner. Is that a normal thing for nt’s to ask?)

John is hyper aware of social etiquette (John struggles with social things, so he needs to memorize them, & has an intense need to be accepted. He tries to be as polite as possible, telling sherlock to thank ppl. & when he interrupts the taxi with the guy from the USA, he stays behind & says if he ever needs anything from the police, just call. that was sooo awkward! very adhd.)

He struggles to articulate his thoughts (at sherlock’s gravestone, when he’s asking sherlock to be his best man, sometimes he just hesitates & can’t vocalize his thoughts)

He doesn’t like to socialize (he does just fine, but I’m just thinking of that time Mike Stamford was trying to get his attention & he ignored him.)

He understands Sherlock (nd ppl have a connection. They understand each other better than a nt could. John picks up on about half sherlock’s stuff, but twice as much as other ppl. If sherlock is autistic &/or adhd, this makes sense. & sherlock is autistic as mentioned, he has aspergers, now known as asd.)

He is best friends with someone who reflects his own impulsivity (Sherlock. Their lifestyle is so impulsive.)

Object impermanence (in the first episode, it’s heavily implied that he’s s**cidal, & he keeps his gun in his drawer. He needs it there bc if it was properly put away, he would forget it. He needs it within reach. I keep my r*z*rs in a rosary box near my bed just like john keeping his gun in a drawer in his desk.)

there’s more I’m sure, but he just gives me adhd vibes. He is more “high functioning” than me, but he still seems a little bit adhd.

- I have grown as a person since writing this post. I still believe that JW has ADHD, however, this post is very imperfect.

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chiantidinner · 4 years ago

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THE UNCLE WORRIES

"Well, as you have the formidability of an Adler and the intellegence of a Holmes, I don't believe these moronic obstructions will interfere with the path you will take on in the future, now will it?"

\\~\\

"Yes, I'm fine- NO! Your father musn't hear about this!" Nero berated loudly to the phone stuck to his ear, hands flinging outwardly and feet rustling about outside the school gates.

The Adler-Holmes offspring had just retired from school for the day and was yearning to be back at the home-y confines of Bakerstreet; just him, his father, occassional (now, more often) visits from his mother, the skull on the mantelpiece, and the ghastly laboratory equipments filling the whole of the kitchen area - but it wasn't until he recieved the call from Rosie, aware of what had transpired between him and a couple of boys their age, who think themsleves as tyrants, and had offered a solution that involved telling John Watson about the matter at hand.

"You know he'll tell father and..." The boy paused, sighing, rubbing his elbow and hissing as he felt a slight sting of the movement, "Rosamund, don't you dare-"

Nero's attempt to dispose his friend out of the idea had suddenly died down his throat, ignoring her cries as he watched a black Jaguar car pull up right in front of him. His eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowing ever-so-slightly but his expression remained stoic, hearing how the car door clicked and started to swing open. Nero tightened his grasp on the phone and muttered lowly, "I have to go.", then ending the call. He carried his long limbs toward the opening, slowly rasing his chin to imply confidence. Assuming the man inside the car is who Nero thinks he is, he'd have to appear much like his father - though for what reason, he doesn't know.

As he steps closer, a figure of a woman in a suit with light brown hair comes to view - further proving that the man responsible to the mysterious arrival of the vehicle, is indeed his uncle and not wealthy kidnappers trying to take him as bait for his father to willingly catch (which, unfortunately, has happened more than once in his 16 years of life). The boy closed the door beside him as he sat down on the leather seat, sighing before turning to face Mycroft - his apprehension expertly covered by his naturally sour facade.

"Nero." The older man inclined his head to his direction, as a way of greeting, the corners of his mouth curling upward.

"Good afternoon to you too, sir." the boy replied, still with a stoic and blank face.

Mycroft tried hard to hide his grimace as he heard his nephew call him: sir.

Ever since he was shown to Mycroft, it never really deemed him to be called uncle - much less ever being one - but the boy was different. The boy was far too brilliant and belongs to a far more extraordinary family than normal people would suspect. It impressed Mycroft how easily he could start a conversation with adults and then finds chatting with other children boring and annoying, how he could find clues in the most discrete of places at such a young age, and how he could act realistically and would use that against people that were worth the punishment, but he could say he wasn't the least bit surprised; he was Sherlock Holmes' and Irene Adler's son, after all.

"May I ask what could be so terribly important that you couldn't have just called me?" Nero replied pointedly, itching to get this over with and go home.

"I have heard about the shooting near your school and came to pick you up myself."

Nero's blank facade finally came crumbling down when it was replaced with pure confusion, mixed with a bit of shock, his face pulling into a grimace and his eyebrows knit together. The boy searched a reason from his uncle as he bore his eyes into his, but found that he didn't want anything from him and that his actions were from familial concern, apprehension, guilt (he didn't know where that came from), and, as much as he would deny, sentiment. He opened his mouth but no words came out, and the second try was unsuccessfull as well.

When he finally found the breath to reply, he choked out, "...Why?"

Much to the younger boy's surprise, Mycroft's demeanor actually softened; a soft grin played on his lips that spoke volumes, sharp brown eyes losing their sting. He looked nothing like what Nero had ever seen of his uncle, even his assisstant looked utterly surprised.

"Because I don't want my only nephew to become like my brother." Mycroft's eyes now showed signs of sadness and... guilt.

Ah, that's where that came from, Nero thought to himself.

"Really? Because I believe my father is in a good place. He receives inquiries for cases from the Yard, still gets to bring John Watson with him, and as much as he'd deny it.. he has his family. I would rather want to become like my father."

The British Prime Minister opened his mouth to speak, but not before something caught his eye: the scratches on Nero's elbow.

Nero covered his arms with his bag quickly upon realization, but the damage was done; Mycroft knew what happened to his nephew. He straightened and turned to the window - his face now unreadable and dismissive, a sharp contrast to the previous expression he donned.

"Tyrants." He spoke after a moment's pause, "Although they do not hold a single grudge in comparison to our intellect, they are the worst and most destructive enemies, us, Holmes' are destined to face - other than criminal masterminds. They are the ghosts that haunt our every sunny day, scribbled letters we keep in the very back of our minds." Mycroft continued with a dangerous glint in his eyes, his gaze slowly turning to the boy in front of him, a corner of his lips jerking upward knowingly (that somehow reminded him of his father's), "And you, to no surprise, have your own fair share, Nero."

For the first time since he stepped into the car, he allowed a one-sided but warm smile to appear on his face and felt pride fill his body. He wasn't proud that generations and generations of the family were ganged up and hurt, just because of their inexplicably curious nature. No. He was proud of the fact that they simply acknowledge the particular attribute each of them holds, that this experience may wound and scar them, but will always have their prodigious intellect as plaster.

The car came to a halt and suddenly they were at the Bakerstreet pavement.

"Nevertheless," Mycroft ducked his head slightly and glanced upwards to see his brother watching the car from the window, and turned back to Nero, "I hope you take this little conversation of ours as a precaution to not take into account what those babbling baboons imply to yourself."

"You are a smart boy, Nero. Make use of your intellegence for the greater good."

With nothing else to say, the boy merely nodded slyly, grabbed his bag and went out the door. But as he stepped foot on the hard ground, his name was being called from inside the car.

"Nero."

The person donning the name ducked and poked his head inside with an expectant look on his pale face.

Mycroft hesitated and sighed in fustration, his lips pursed together in a thin line, "I-... I worry about you as I do with my brother. I don't want you going through what he did."

Nero ginned once again, this time honest and genuine, his eyes smiling along with his lips, "I am aware.. uncle."

Giving, one tight smile to Mycroft and his assisstant, Nero disappeared from the door and into 221B Bakerstreet.

It was then that Mycroft realized the boy was as much every bit of his brother, and at the same time, not.

\\~\\

First of all, thank you to everyone who read and had actually finished lmao. Second, WOHOO my first fic!!

I got this idea from my own headcanon that generations of Holmes' - from the Holmes parents, to Mycroft, Sherlock, and Eurus, then Nero - were belittled and made fun of, because of their extraordinary intellegence, whether that was in school, or in the world at large. So, I incorporated that into this fic, mixed in with 'responsible-and-protective-big-brother-Mycroft' but instead of brother, we have uncle to Nero because, why not?

I also sort of made this because I had writer's block and read somewhere to write what's inside your pretty little head to bring back your natural creativity...

But, back to the matter at hand, I hope you guys liked it and I would REALLY love if you left some feedback and suggestions as to how I can improve my writing skills.

Much love, R. xx

#nero wolfe #mycroft holmes #uncle mycroft #adlock #sherlock headcanon #adlock fanfics #irene adler #sherlock holmes #rosamund watson #john watson #holmes brothers #parent!lock #sherlock au

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mcyt-amber-tftsmp · 4 years ago

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𝐈 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 {𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈

Part I : Growing Feelings

Request?: Liznix_

Character: Ran

Side Character(s): Technically the rest of TFTSMP The Pit Cast!

Story-type: The first part is platonic and a bit romantic at the end but the second part is romance and slightly angst

Story Length: 6450 words

AU or Not: Assassin! Ran AU! And a few of things would be different

Time Period: Future and technically the Subbin Empire

Plot Summary: hmm well i was thinking something like Ran is an assassin that infiltrated the games to assassinate the king (King Porkius VII) and the reader is someone close to the king, so ran tries to get close to them to get close to the king, but ends up falling for them accidentally and is conflicted about what to do.

Small Info: The Reader would be the king's younger sibling who is a few months younger than Ran who is 17 and the Reader is 16! Also instead of Jackie winning it would be Ran who would take John's place in fighting against Jackie!

Keywords:

Y/N = Your Name H/L = Hair Length H/C = Hair Color E/C = Eye Color

Trigger Warning:

- Mentions of killing and assassination - Falling into a huge conflict - Death - Slight blood and gore - Slight Catcalling

Normal Warning: Cringe writing cause yes- ✨

--------------------------------------------------

Third Person Point of View~

At this point Ran was thinking over what just happened. He denied the fact that he could have fallen for you and just stayed quiet. He had to do his mission for the sake of you staying alive and him as well. He felt very weak at this point.

Meanwhile, Jackie and Genevieve were fighting in the water dome thing and lastly Jackie won. You were pretty much not sure who to root for considering you liked them both and were good fighters but the boy won.

Porkius then told him to tell the three of them to come up for the Three Person fight. As Jackie went down he saw Genevieve being carried down to be healed. He felt bad but he didn't really have a choice.

As he went down he called, he found John and Bartholomew and told them that it was the Three person fight right now and told them to get ready. He saw that Ran wasn't here so he went to search for him only to find him in a corner putting his forehead against the wall.

"You okay Big Man?" Jackie asked which brought Ran's attention to him as he looked down.

"Yes and no." he responded to the shorter boy as he lifted his head from the wall.

"Well whatever is bothering you I hope you figure it out cause now it's your turn along with two others! Best of luck! I am rooting for you!" he said giving him a slight pat on the shoulder and running off.

Ran watched him go as he got ready to go through the water. He went up first whereas John followed him through the same one. They waited for a few for Bartholomew to get up from his side which he took a bit longer to come considering he is drunk.

After Bartholomew came up everyone was giving him a weird look considering he looked different. He technically said that you would have to look good if we had to survive in fights. Ran just shook his head at his words. He was too drunk for his own good. You on the other hand was thinking as to who left the alcohol downstairs.

The fight commenced after Porkius set off the zombies and made them literally swim through air to fight each other which was kinda difficult. At this point the entire thing was like a show until Porkius disabled the dive mode thing and now everyone was fighting like normal except zombies were chasing them.

Though the zombies were chasing John the most and Ran technically came out from the opposite area and started to attack John while Bartholomew was behind him. Before anyone knew it was Bartholomew and John fighting each other while Ran was using his strategy of being as isolate as possible.

"Ran is the only person here whose technique we have not witnessed yet. This is his first battle." Porkius said and as he did Ran took down Bartholomew.

Now it was just Ran and John who now had to fight each other to get the one spot in the Final Round.

"Oh my gosh! It's officially Ran versus Grievous." Karl exclaimed.

You on the other hand was amazed with his fighting skills and was quietly cheering him on. You were hoping for him to win at least.

"Oh he has he already has an entire army after him I think I am good." he said running the other direction laughing at his own words.

"No!" John wailed trying to attack Ran as he continued laughing.

"No I think I am I think I am completely fine actually I think I literally just have to keep on running away from that guy." Ran said continuing to run laughing.

This made Karl and you laugh at his words and what was going. To you he was actually pretty funny and to be honest this was the first time when you saw him goof off a bit especially here and his humor was pretty nice.

"I don't think that will work. The zombies are not very fast." Porkius said as Ran stopped.

"You're right they aren't." Ran said turning on his heels and started to fight John.

"You have to get much faster zombies next time king." Karl said turning to look back at the two fight.

You noticed that John was giving Ran way more hits than Ran was and was about to shoot him with an arrow but Ran quickly dodged it and lunged at him with his sword and struck a blow to John making his fall unconscious as Ran stood victorious.

((Author: You really couldn't do what I just wrote here in the episode now could you Ran?! 🤦🏻‍♀️))

Ran literally thought he was going to lose and that rush of adrenal really nearly killed him. Luckily he was able to control himself from doing that. Karl was technically shocked along with Porkius with Ran's surprise attack. You were pretty much amazed at this.

He was quickly dismissed as John was taken away. God he felt about nearly killing him. He quickly went down the steps as everyone excluding John who was being treated right now looked at him as Watson and Jackie came up to him and congratulated him.

"Good job mate. You did well." Watson said to him while giving him a pat on the shoulder.

"Congratulations Big man! I will see you at our Final fight!" Jackie said with a grin.

At this point Watson was like a dad to him while Jackie was a younger brother.

"Your parents would be proud of you right now." Watson said which made Ran's eyes widen.

He slightly frowned as he looked down. He knew they wouldn't knowing what he was doing here in the first place. He had to quickly respond since he didn't want to them to get worried.

"Yeah they would be... if they still lived..." He said the last part a bit quieter which Watson was able to catch and felt really bad.

"I-I am sorry mate I didn't know." Watson said apologizing as Ran sighed.

"It's fine dad- I mean Watson. Sorry about that." He said quickly apologizing since he accidentally called him 'dad'.

Watson smiled. No one really called him dad that much but he was a pretty good fatherly figure towards everyone and Ran calling him dad was something he liked. He went to him and gave him a warm hug which surprised ran a bit. It has been a while since he got a hug.

"I don't mind you calling me dad ran, it's fine really. I am just letting you know I am here for you if you ever need me." Watson said.

Ran was shocked at his words. he felt like crying but he didn't want to seem weak. He wanted to tell Watson everything right now but he didn't want to knowing that it would ruin everything. He slightly hugged back as he thanked him.

After all that Jackie and Ran were now fighting in the Last Round though what Ran found out was how Jackie carried at least three Totems of Undying and he made a quick strategy so he doesn't use any of them and would able to kill him off without him coming back three times.

The fight didn't last too long Ran used his strategy and whenever he saw Jackie about to use a Totem of Undying he would simply somehow make it fall out of his hands whilst trying to use it and before he knew it he fell unconscious as ran won the event. The entire crowd was cheering for Ran as Jackie was carried down to be treated.

They had to wait for a few minutes for all the gladiators to come up. Once they all did Porkius literally told Ran to just kill them all of altogether. You knew well that this wasn't what was supposed to happen and you told Ran to just fight them unconscious and that's basically it.

Ran technically fought of all of them minus Jackie and Watson who were just keeping their distance not fighting at all. ran was able to make them all fall unconscious and was made General while Watson and Jackie ran off somewhere which the king didn't seem to notice nor care.

Oh and a Karl was basically able to take all the footage of the show which you were relieved since you didn't want him ending up like all the other ones which have somehow messed up. Then Karl just went somewhere and vanished which kind of made Ran suspicious but he shook it off knowing he had a mission to complete.

Ran's Point Of View~

I exited the stadium following Y/N. Technically the king was going to be here for a while and I had to go with Y/N which was okay for the time being. Before I could get down the stairs I heard a small 'psst' and looked behind me to see Watson and Jackie. Watson quickly came in and handed me a paper which looked like an address.

"This is my address if you ever feel like visiting me. Jackie is apparently planning in staying with me since he has nowhere to go now. I don't want to keep you waiting so bye Ran." Watson said as Jackie waved me goodbye.

I quickly followed up on the king and stood beside Y/n as we walked in silence. I didn't really know what else to say other than feel my heart beat really fast since I was somewhat close to her right now.

"So how are you feeling about all of this?" I heard her ask me.

"... You could say I am slightly nervous." I responded to her.

"That's understandable. How old are you anyways?" She asked yet again.

"I just turned seventeen last month." I said.

"Oh that's cool. I am sixteen and I will soon be seventeen in five months." She said as I nodded.

Before I could say anything else I heard a whistle and looked to my side to see a man was looking at Y/N which she seemed to notice but she was feeling pretty uncomfortable and to make things worse the man started to catcall her.

I took off my coat and draped it around her and gave a man a threatening death glare which seemed to scare him. Y/N looked surprised the fact that I gave it to her.

"Y-you didn't have to do that..." She said as I shook my head.

"It's fine really I couldn't really get him get away with that. Does this happen often?" I said and asked her as she slowly nodded.

"Sometimes not all the time." She said.

Timeskip to them reaching the palace~

We reached the palace after a few minutes as Y/N was leading me towards my room. As she was doing so I remembered what I had to do originally. I can't really get distracted right now. If I don't do this then I am dead and so is she. God I am just hoping these feelings go away. I noticed that she came to halt in front of a door which I presumed was my room.

"This is your room. I hope you like it. You can get settled in and I will come back after a few to give you a tour around the place." She said before leaving.

I entered the room and it was pretty decent. She did say she was going to come back later to give me a tour of this place. It was enough time for me to try and set my plan. I am basically given a month to do this and if don't do this by the end of the month I don't know what to do. I started to set a plan as I laid down on the soft mattress as I faced the ceiling.

Timeskip~

I had already set up my plan on assassinating the king but I just need to find the right time. At this point I feel like my boss has eyes on me whenever I do missions or maybe I am just paranoid. I am just hoping his two men aren't watching my every move.

Right now I am on a tour with the princess, Y/N. I actually like her company. She's nice and very beautiful- okay Ran stop it. You can't get distracted. God I hate this. She showed me around the place. I clearly made a map of the place in my head as she took me down to different places.

The tour was pretty long but interesting. To be honest being a general is something I could have originally taken if I hadn't really been an assassin. After the tour was done I went back to my room after telling her. I was planning on using the training room later. I looked out the window to see it was evening already.

I decided to go to the training room after a few m minutes which I did. The room was a pretty god place for training and other combat practices such as sword fighting, hand-to-hand combat and others. The King had already arrived after I was done with training.

After I had freshened up I had a quick dinner which the maid had given me inside my room. It was a pretty decent meal i got for the first time. Normally I don't get stuff like this to eat but it was pretty good.

After I was done eating I didn't really know what else to do I just thought of going to the garden at the back. It was a pretty nice and well made garden. I headed towards the place as I looked about in my surroundings like it was all new to me which it was but I have seen it a few times already in like a few hours.

As I arrived I noticed a lone figure sitting on a bench and once I came a little closer I noticed that it was Y/N. She looked beautiful under the moonlight. A blush crept up on my face at the thought ad I looked away. God I need help. I just met her a few hours ago and now this. I was able to calm myself down and went to her.

"Y/N?" I said which snapped her attention towards me and he face turned into relief.

"Oh it's just you Ran. Sorry I thought you were someone else." She said apologizing.

"It's alright really." I said and she smiled with a nod.

"You can sit with me if you like?" She asked as I looked at her for a few seconds before slowly sitting down next to her.

"So you like coming out here?" I asked as she nodded.

"It's one of my favorite places to be most of my time. My brother knows I don't like social gatherings much so she just lets me off to be here or in my room most of the time." She explained to me as I listened.

"That's very nice of him. I like the outdoors a lot myself. It's pretty calming to say the least." I said.

Then there was a small yet comfortable silence between us as we didn't speak but the sounds of crickets didn't make it so awkward. I hands slightly shook but I was able to stop it from happening.

"So you love your brother a lot huh?" I asked as she looked at me and nodded.

"Mhm! He's really the only one I have. After my parents died he took care of me the most. He would always think of my safety before anyone else's." I heard her say.

I felt guilt building up in me. After hearing those I didn't feel like doing my job and just wanted to run away from all this yet here I am doing my boss' dirty work which I am not even fond of doing anymore.

"That's... nice. I think I am going to go now. Goodnight princess." I said as I got up and walked back in.

I felt bad for not letting her say anything as I went away bu I couldn't bear it. I thought of just sleeping through the weeks until the last day where I am supposed to set my plan into action. I know I am going to regret this but I already hate it but I have to do it. I can't get distracted at all.

Third Person Point of View~

The weeks weren't so good for Ran as it went by. Everyday whenever he would do his job of getting closer to you, his face keeps on heating up at times.

The first week went by pretty fast.

He would train and do whatever he had to do. He would notice how you and your brother would talk down the hallway. It made him feel more bad on what he was already planning and it just didn't get any easier.

He tried to block out all his feelings so he could focus on his mission. He didn't want you to get hurt but he knew you would be more hurt knowing his brother was killed by someone she and the king trusted the most.

He didn't want you to be stabbed in the back.

But he didn't really see any other choice.

The Second week went by a bit slow. Luckily for Ran it was pretty fine considering he didn't want the months to go away cause he didn't want to do this. His feelings for you at this point was huge. He knew it was pointless having feelings for you knowing you don't even feel the same way so what's the point in having them.

Plus he wasn't even sure how the king will react knowing the General he is, is in love with his little sister. What he didn't know was that you also were catching feelings for him and would sometimes blush whenever he called you princess.

The king may have already noticed how his sister looks at the general. He smiles knowing her sister had maybe found love but he really didn't know if the general felt the same. He didn't want his sister to be hurt.

The third week went by slowly. Ran was right now in a huge problem. More like a huge conflict he wouldn't be able to get out of anymore. He has so many regrets right now. Yet here he is doing this crappy job he has fallen into.

If he had to end a person's life right now it was going to be his but he felt weak to do any of that. He just wished things would get easier for him for the next six days. Though he knew very well that wouldn't be happening.

Six days of the fourth and final week went by. Ran knew his feelings for you were strong. He loved you. A lot. Everything about you was just wow. If he had to describe anything beautiful it was going to be you.

This was now a huge problem. He didn't know what to do. He was just in a huge problem. Either way of doing things would just lead to death. He couldn't do it. But he had no choice. At this point he didn't care. He didn't care if you hated him after all this. She deserves better.

He had an event tomorrow to join the king for dinner with other kings and generals across the kingdoms and empires and he will be poisoning the king's drink. There was no turning back.

"I am sorry Y/N for what I am about to do tomorrow. I hope you one day forgive me." he said wiping his face which were covered in tears.

Let's see how things go tomorrow.

Timeskip to the last day of the month~

Ran's Point of View~

I walked down the hallways with my head lowered as I looked at the ground. Today was the day I would be putting my plan into action. Did I want to do this? No. Did I have a choice? No. Do I hate myself? Yes.

If god plans on sending me to hell for the things I have done then I would be happy. I deserve this anyway. As I walked I stopped for a bit and looked to my side to see the entrance to the entrance to the garden. I took a deep breath and headed towards the garden.

It was a pretty nice afternoon which was going to turn bad sooner or later thanks to me. I let out a huge sigh as I walked around until my eyes landed on a single bright pinkish-red rose. I slightly bent down and slowly plucked it out. Luckily it didn't have any thorns. I picked it up and put it i the inside pocket of my coat.

I then heard a faint voice. I think someone was... singing? I headed towards that direction and soon saw that it was Y/N who was singing. God her voice sounded like an angel. To be honest she looked like an angel who was sent in this world.

I swear I sound like a hopeless romantic at this point. I was about to move away when I accidentally stepped on a twig which stopped her singing as she looked in my direction. God spare me from this embarrassment.

"S-sorry about that Y/N." I said apologizing.

"Hey Ran and its fine really. But how much did you hear?" She said looking a bit nervous as she fiddled with her fingers.

"Um well I think I heard all of it? I am not really sure but all I can say is that you have a nice voice." I said as I went to her to sit down next to her.

"Thanks. You are really kind." She said as I shrugged.

"I guess so." I responded.

There was a small silence between us yet again. I couldn't really believe what I was going to do tonight. God I just hate this. Y/N is so nice and here I am just straight up going to kill her only family.

"So you are going to have dinner with my brother and the people from the kingdom am I right?" She asked which brought me back to reality.

"Yes I am. Are you going to be there?" I asked as I saw her shake her head.

"No. Even if I was I wouldn't be able to go since it's not something I should be there for. Are you nervous?" She asked.

Nervous? Yeah pretty much and not because of the many people going to be there but because of my plan of killing her brother.

"You could say that." I said.

"You don't need to be nervous. Everything will be fine. And here have this." She said and soon enough I felt her hugging me.

"This is for good luck." She finished saying as she released herself from it.

I smiled as I nodded. I noticed that it was getting late and I should get ready. Y/N seemed to notice it too. We both got up from the bench and were about to head off but then I remembered the rose in my pocket.

"Wait! Before I go, I want to you to have this." I said as I took out the pinkish-red rose from the inside pocket of my coat and handed it out to her. "It's for you."

She was slightly shocked but she gently took it from my hands as she smiled.

"Thank you Ran It's very sweet of you." She said.

Before she could do anything and before I could even think, I leaned down and kissed her on the lips. I quickly pulled away. God what was I thinking. She looked pretty shocked that I did that and was technically blushing mad.

"S-sorry. I will be heading off now." I said as I took out an enderpearl and teleported myself to the entrance of the garden.

God I think I just made this even more difficult for myself. Before i could head in, I heard the rustling of a bush. I looked behind me but I saw nothing. Strange... I thought there was something. I shrugged it of thinking it was just the wind. I let out a huge sigh and went to my room to get ready and to poison the drink.

Y/N's Point of View~

I stood there shocked, still not letting go off the fact that Ran just kissed me?! God I am such a blushing mess right now. I am just hoping he isn't beating himself up for doing that. I really like him as well.

I want to tell him but I don't think he is able to now since he has a dinner to attend to. My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of rustling bushes. I looked to my side to see no one. But I didn't feel like sticking around right now so I just headed for the entrance of the garden to go to my room.

But I just felt like someone was following me. God I think I am just paranoid. But this time I am actually getting the feeling I am being followed or watched. I quickly entered my room and closed the door and shut the windows.

Eventually I calmed down and sat on my bed thinking as I put my fingers on my lips. I blushed at the thought. I liked him a lot. Way more than friends. I decided that I will tell him after this. But for some reason i still felt like I was being watched...

Ran's Point of View~

I wore a decent formal outfit which all generals wear . Of course I still had my white Victorian shirt on me but my coat was a black coat with a green stone on the side like my usual maroon coat.

I was able to poison the drink which was laid at King Porkius' table without anyone present in the room. Though it did make his drink's color change a bit lighter color but I don't think he would notice.

I went out of my room and headed towards the dining pavilion. As I entered I noticed a few kings and generals have already arrived. Slowly and gradually all the guests were here and I was getting even more nervous.

I was introduced and greeted everyone as we all sat down. The king didn't seem to notice the wine was slightly discolored from everyone else's. I was thinking if I should let him have it or take it out right now.

After a few minutes the king was about to start drinking his wine. The glass was inches away from his lips and before I could think of anything I quickly knocked the glass of wine out of his hands and it landed onto the floor. The other guests gasped as King Porkius in shock. I knew I made the right decision.

"What is the meaning of this General Ran?!" King Porkius yelled out.

"Your majesty I can explain! Your wine was tainted and looked different from all of ours. I could tell that it was poisoned." I said immediately which shocked him and the other guests.

He looked at our wine glasses and his one on the floor which was sizzling. He then noticed that he was about to be killed if it wasn't for my quick thinking. Then the next thing I heard was a scream.

Not just any scream. It was a girl's scream and it belonged to Y/N.

I quickly got out of my chair as the king and a few guards followed me into Y/N's room to see that she wasn't there and instead it was pieces of broken glass on the floor with the window broken. I went over to see anything to help me find and so did a few guards.

I found a scrunched up piece of paper whose hand writing I knew very well.

It read,

You knew the consequences Ran. I sent two of my men look at you do your job to see if you would do it yet you failed me. Now your little princess is with me. If you want her to live then come after me. Then we will see what happens next. Oh and here is the location for it. You better hurry cause your princess wouldn't last forever.

- anonymous

I saw the location was written here. I scrunched up the paper and stood up and bolted out the door. I felt eyes on me as I ran out of the place and the palace altogether. But I didn't care. I had to find her. I can't lose her. I just can't!

As I entered the forest area I was straight away ambushed by his two men. They thought they could take me down this easily. God they seriously don't know that I have done my years of killing and stealth. I was able to take them down and killed them. Luckily I was wearing gloves so my hand-print doesn't get on the dagger.

I was glad to be done with those two and won't be seeing them for like ever. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the location but I didn't see where they were until I heard a faint cry and yelling. I went towards the direction of the clearing and found. I was finally able to find them but what I saw made me livid. He was hurting her and this made my blood boil.

"Leave. Her. ALONE!" I said which made my boss turn around to face me with an evil grin.

She was holding Y/N by the neck with her arms and had a knife in his other hand. I looked at her and she looked so scared and I hated to see this.

"Ah! Ran I am so glad to see you." He said with an evil smirk forming on his face.

"Leave her out of this Nicholas!" I said as he laughed evilly.

"Oh this is funny considering you were about to kill the king." He said which made me freeze as Y/N looked at me confused and scared.

"W-What...?" I heard her say.

"Tell her Ran! tell her how you were about to kill her brother tonight but decided not to and you just joined the Gladiator Event just to get close to her in order to do this job!" I heard him yell.

I didn't hear a response from Y/N. I could tell she was angry but when i saw her face, all i saw was how scared she was and the fear in her eyes. I had an idea on how to get out of this but it was going to be risky.

"Now Ran you either join me and kill the king off or I kill your little princess over here." He said.

"Ran don't- hmph." I saw my boss cover her mouth.

I already had my plan set in motion and I was hoping it would work.

"Alright... I will join you but please... let her go." I said.

"Good." I heard him say as he dropped her harshly on the ground.

"Now come here Ran." He told me as I looked at him as I came close to him.

"You know..." I started as he looked at me slightly perplexed as I took out my enderpearl. "I still remember how you always told me to never let my guard down." I finished.

I looked at my boss's face as it his realization of what I meant and before he could react I teleported behind him and was quickly about to stab him but he countered back but he didn't know I had another dagger and drove that straight in the heart.

I took out the dagger as he dropped dead on the ground. The dagger had blood. His blood. I looked at my now dead boss on the ground with his own pool of blood.

I panted as my heart raced. This was a close call. I looked over at Y/N who was also shocked and surprised. I dropped the blade next to my dead boss' corpse as I helped Y/N up. I expected her to slap me and hate me but she just hugged me. I slowly hugged back not sure what else to do.

"Let's get you home princess. Your brother is worried sick." I said as I led her out of the forest as we walked towards the palace.

Third Person Point of View~

The entire walk was silent as none of them said a word. It was not until that much until you started to speak.

"Why didn't you do it?" You said.

They both came to a halt as ran looked down at the ground. His messy black hair slightly falling over his eyes as he tried to find the right words.

"I never wanted to in the first place but I was threatened to do it. He said that if I didn't he would kill you and your brother which also included me as well." He stopped saying as tears welled up in his eyes eyes as it flowed down his cheeks.

He explained how he got himself into this mess and how much he hated this job he was stuck in. he even mentioned how he never wanted to do it in the first place. He even mentioned how he was supposed to get close and befriend you only to fall in love with you and how she had said his brother was someone who was her only family and that this made him think about his choices of doing it. He never wanted to hurt you in anyway possible.

You looked at him as you felt pity and bad for him. You still loved him and you couldn't hate him for this but the fact that he didn't do it was because he fell in love with you. This made your heart skip a beat. You didn't know what to think.

"Ran I could never hate you. I forgive you okay?" You said as you embraced him in another hug.

He didn't know what to think. You had forgiven him and that shocked him the most. He hugged you back slightly crying. He finally felt free. All the burden he had were now gone. Yet he knew those would still remain but he felt free. After a while you both released from the hug as Ran wiped his face.

"Ran?" You spoke up yet again.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response.

"Did you... regret falling in love... with me...?" She said.

Ran was surprised at her words. He didn't think of anything else as he put his hand on her chin and lifted it to make her look at him. Ran looked at E/C colored eyes. He could get lost in them for days.

Ran didn't hesitate and slowly leaned down and kissed you on the lips. This time you kissed him back while standing on your tippy-toes to slightly reach his height as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck while one his hands caressed your cheek.

The kiss was long and passionate and had to pull away for air. Ran pressed his forehead on hers as his hand was still on her cheek as his thumb rubbed on it. They both had a smile on their faces.

"I never regret falling in love with you Princess." Ran said as your giggled.

"I love you too Ran." He heard her say.

"I am glad. In case you are wondering I will still remain a General for your brother I am also planning on visiting Watson and Jackie sooner or later and they will be glad if you came along." Ran said as you smiled and nodded.

"I would love to." She said as ran gently picked her up in bridal style and kissed her on the forehead as he chuckled while you giggled.

"Come on now love let's get you home." He said as he started to walk while you held onto him close.

You both reached home safely as King Porkius was glad to see you safe and not harmed or hurt in anyway. He was very grateful towards Ran for protecting you and bringing you back here safely. He felt happy for saving you and him and forever grateful to have him.

Eventually you both did visit Watson and Jackie. They didn't live very far from the Subbin Empire which was fine knowing you could visit them any time. They were both happy to see you two and what you liked was how Watson treated Ran as his own son and Jackie treated him as a big brother.

But Ran was a different case.

He didn't care about his dark past and was finally able to start anew by being a General and having family like figures like Watson and Jackie.

He was finally happy to be with you.

His light in the dark.

The love of his life.

--------------------------------------------------

#ran #ran x reader #ran x you #ran x y/n #tales from the smp #assassin au #the pit #fluff #angst #oneshots

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kitkatopinions · 4 years ago

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Accidentally deleted my Tyrian and Watts asks while I was trying to fix a mistake so... Sorry about that, everyone! Here they are! Tyrian and Watts for the RWBY character asks!

Let’s do Tyrian first, because I have less to say about him, I feel like.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. Dysfunctional villainous romance of the century, no one knows how they’ve managed to make it to their tenth anniversary without killing each other, including them. Tyrian/Salem is my second top ship for him. Major Bellatrix/Voldy vibes with this one, but I could see it. Tyrian/Hazel is my third ship for lack of options. Does this one make sense? No. But I can at least see Tyrian being super flirty and Hazel being endlessly tired, but never really stopping it. (Also I hate Hazel so much lol.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Tyrian/Qrow sucks for me. Like... I kinda feel like two people fighting each other just gets shippers, which is fine and totally understandable. But for me, Tyrian poisoning Qrow and almost killing him and calling his beloved niece a bitch and then killing Clover is a big no from me, dog. On that note! Tyrian/Clover is also one big no from me, since Clover murdered him. And Tyrian/Ozpin is another really big no from me. Tyrian and his crazy Salem worship can stay five hundred and fifty feet away from my son.

My biggest criticism for the character

They went a little too much on the crazy in the fourth and fifth season and it made him feel annoying. Like, I don’t mind the Bellatrix vibes, but I do mind the movie version Bellatrix vibes, sometimes. It just got kinda annoying. I wish his crazy was always more on the dangerous side and less on the kooky side, but that’s just personal opinions.

My favorite thing about the character

The way people are so uncomfortable around him. Whenever Tyrian talks to Emerald or Mercury, he’s honestly freaky. Like both me and the characters are waiting for him to snap. That’s a great quality in a villain that we’re meant to hate or love to hate. He has a real presence and it’s enjoyable.

A headcanon I have about them

Tyrian doesn’t often try to act normal, but he can, and he’s got a great ‘respectable, cool guy’ act that’s actually a little reminiscent of Qrow or Clover. He’s even passed himself as a Huntsman here and there.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

More involvement in volumes 4 and 5, and I’d treat him a bit more seriously and make him a bit more dangerous. Maybe I’d have him wound a member of Team RNJR in his attack as well as poison Qrow (maybe give Jaune a reason to unlock his semblance in season 4 and in response to the pain of a member of his team. Also, his ‘Tyrian purple’ color should be more than just the color of his eyes. Like, how come so many RWBY characters season 4 and onward have such boring colors? I’d give Tyrian some strong purple and pink.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Tyrian alludes to the animal fable ‘the Scorpion and the Frog,’ and that’s... really in name only, I think. A part of me wants to give them some kind of points for having Qrow work with him against Clover, only for Tyrian to kill Clover, which lines up with his ‘its just my nature’ scorpion stinging the frog so that they’ll both drown and die. But they didn’t mean for Qrow to really be wrong! They didn’t mean for the lesson to be ‘Qrow shouldn’t have trusted the poisonous villain’ it was ‘wowza does Qrow’s semblance hurt him. :( Too bad Clover got himself killed.’ Which makes the whole allusion kind of suck.

Now for Watts, the single best villain in my opinion.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. See above. This ship would be a dysfunctional mess, but it’d be a wild ride. Watts/Villain!Ironwood. I kind of hate this ship when it’s ‘fallen hero turned villain’ Ironwood. But if he actually had been written as a secret villain or obviously headed that way from the start, I can see him and Watts also being a dysfunctional mess of a wild ride ship, only with way more ‘evil power couple’ vibes than Tyrian and Watts would have. Also my favorite version of this features Watts having been the one to build Penny (maybe by stealing the plans from Pietro) and him and Ironwood raising a still bright and cheerful, still innocent and trusting, villain Penny who will attack to kill with a smile on her face and a ‘it was nice meeting you!’ And this is very weird and niche but Watts/Evil Stepsister (specifically the one with the sharp bangs and highlights.) Someone sent me an ask saying the Evil Stepmother and stepsisters should’ve been connected to Salem and gotten Cinder involved and I totally agree with this. I then started envisioning a world where the step sisters competed with Cinder and all three of them were raised in Salem’s circle. In this version of things, I could totally picture one of the step sisters having a romantic tension driven connection with Watts and the two of them subtly flirting sometimes (and bonding over their mutual hatred of Cinder.) I picked the sister with bangs for no real reason except that I like her look more.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Watts/Cinder. Watts thinks of her like a bratty little girl, and Cinder kills him. Watts/Lionheart. Kinda really hate this one because of how clearly Lionheart was terrified of him. Just a bit uncomfortable for me to see that in a relationship. Watts/Hero!Ironwood or Watts/HeroTurnedVillain/Ironwood. Sorry, but Ironwood in canon got such a bad, bad portrayal in season 8 and the end of season 7, and I just can’t help but blame Watts for quite a bit of it. I only like them as a ship if Ironwood is an antagonist from the start.

My biggest criticism for the character

They shouldn’t have killed him! He was one of Salem’s best followers and one of the best villains and it was such a big mistake to kill literally one of the only actual loyal followers. It threw off any character development for Cinder and it was a big mistake. I really wanted the Cinder / Watts / Neo team up to keep going! I’m so disappointed it got thrown away.

My favorite thing about the character

Watts is an entitled, petty bastard, and I think that’s so good for a villain that isn’t meant to be social commentary (because tbh, RWBY never should’ve tried to be social commentary.) Watts isn’t sympathetic, he’s an Atlas born and raised guy in a three piece suit, he’s posh, he’s upset because he wasn’t given exactly what he wanted. Most of the villains in RWBY are either victims of abuse, systemic oppression, or poverty, and that’s... Not fun in a show that’s never handled social commentary well and is about magical girls destroying Voldemort/Satan with the power of friendship (Ruby literally never says anything about Faunus rights iirc.) Watts is refreshing because he’s exactly the type of villain that you can expect in a show like what RWBY should’ve been, and he flourishes as that. Why would we be sympathetic to Watts when he’s just doing this all because he wasn’t picked first for his tech? Why would we feel soured towards conflicts with Watts and Team RWBY? He’s just a petty bastard being evil because he was snubbed. Why would we be frustrated that incredibly significant problems are being shoved to the side with Watts? He’s a fun villain, he’s not meant to be more, he’s not meant to make you emotionally invested only to then be gutted for it. You can hate to love him without it feeling bad. Maybe that’s why he’s just my favorite non-kid villain (other than Roman.)

A headcanon I have about them

Watts has been trying to build his own AI robot like Penny, in his spare time. He wanted it to be done in time to become a Maiden, but it wasn’t, and Salem gave that slot to Cinder and got after Watts for not contributing enough. He of course thought this was deeply unfair (especially after being made to contribute a lot to Cinder’s Beacon success without getting any credit for it.) And this just fueled his hatred of Cinder, his hatred of Pietro and Ironwood, and by extension, his hatred of Penny.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I would keep him freaking alive and keep up the pair up he had going on with Cinder and Neo! But also I’d increase his relationships with Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Hazel... Just some more Salem’s Inner Circle moments to flesh out their characters. Other than that, I wouldn’t change much. He’s a pretty good character.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Okay, I’ve talked about his character allusion in a very long post awhile ago, but I’m not scrolling down that far to tag it. To sum it up... I hate his allusion. XD I loved the Sherlock Holmes books and read most of them, and I didn’t realize he was supposed to allude to John Watson until I read someone else’s post saying so, and I started freaking out about how awful it was. Watts has so little in common with Watson, he’s essentially the anti-Watson. Which basically means he’s Sherlock Holmes, the opposite of Watson in almost every way, up to and including freaking faking his death which is one of the most iconic Sherlock Holmes thing ever. Watts is everything Sherlock Holmes is on his worst days, arrogant, callous, consumed with his projects, petty, smug, over the top - as well as being hyper intelligent and a genius who often just gets passed over. He has rivalries with his colleagues like Holmes did. And like I said, he faked his death, only to reveal himself to an old friend later on the cusp of carrying out a scheme. He’s evil Holmes! He has nothing to do with John Watson - caring, humble, down to earth, not brilliant like his friend but content to be ordinary and special because of his emotional depth and devoted heart, medical former doctor who spends quite a lot of time chronicling the successes of someone else because he’s content to live in the background. Don’t get me wrong, a ‘Watson’ character who is evil could work - Watson himself indulged in crime for the sake of Holmes sometimes in the original works and if he worshipped Salem or one of her followers and did everything for her while still being a more humble, more friendly, not brilliant person he could be good - but Watts is not that person. Even the gimmicks Watts is given are stupid and don’t make it obvious he’s Watson. Boy’s got a moustache and a revolver and they thought that’d be enough. Idk why they thought 'we’ll make him Watson’ when he’s clearly a Holmes! Also, he’s supposed to be ‘Watson if he’d met Moriarty instead of Holmes,’ and to that I say boo! Watson wouldn’t turn into a super genius just because he meets a different mastermind!

...That’s summing up my feelings, yeah. Because I have so many feelings about his warped, weird character allusion. If I was changing it, I’d just make him Holmes like I think he was clearly supposed to be.

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thedistrictsleepsalonetonight · 4 years ago

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Better with you

This is the way of things:

Riley falls in love with Harper. Harper breaks her heart. Harper falls in love with Abby. Harper marries Abby. Abby has a friend. Riley falls in love.

In retrospect it both annoys and amazes her how Harper conditions so much of her life. If she imagined her life in the form of roads as complex, as confused and as diverging as the lines on her palm, there are probably multiple signboards that have Harper’s face on them, with some strange quote written beside them along the lines of “Hey! Been a while since you thought of me, the girl who ruined most of your life hasn’t it?”.

Riley hates it.

Okay, so in all honesty, she hates it until she crashes into Maya.

*****

Here’s the thing about Riley: She’s stupid around the people she loves.

How else does one explain all her major life decisions? She stays quiet when Austin Thomas spray-paints “Dike” all over her locker (even through the shaking, and the trembling and the huddling in a bathroom cubicle in the morning, what has her more concerned is what it’s probably doing to Harper. Well, that, and the fact that dyke is hilariously misspelled). She watches Harper from across the corridor, biting her lip, holding onto her left arm with her right hand, and hates that she still wants her so badly that she can’t breathe. She hates herself for loving Harper, hates her heart for betraying her in this very fundamental way, hates it for not being able to think rationally enough.

(The thought makes her laugh. What brand of love was ever rational?)

Even after she’s adequately moved on, has fallen in love a second time, the third, the fourth, she can never really bring herself to do that. The thought of Harper will evoke all forms of insufferable feelings ranging from sorrow to nostalgia. Not fury, though. Never fury.

She walks out of high school with excellent grades, graduates med school top of her class, gets into the one of the best residency programs in her state, all in a misguided attempt to compensate for this huge cosmic failing she’s somehow been saddled with. If life handed out academic report cards, chits of paper with affirmations engraved on them, then the ones she would give her parents would read Your child is doing great; She’s sorry she’s gay. Your child is trying her very best. A tiny PS at the bottom right corner would say – Love her. Please.

And she comes back, every year, to those stupid White Elephant parties, combats side-glances with polite smiles, off-hand comments about how her peers are heterosexually married to their heterosexual partners with grimaces. Brevity helps, and so does a glass of wine on her at all times.

And then Harper brings Abby, one Christmas.

*****

She’s not going to deny that she has a little bit of a crush on Abby.

Come on. It’s Abby. She’s a lesbian dreamboat with some serious hair-game and the gayest sense of dressing she’s ever seen on anyone. How is a girl supposed to not like that earnest smile and deep, soulful eyes?

(But Abby’s earnest smile unfurls like a ribbon when it falls on Harper, and her eyes tell stories that seem to end at Harper, and Riley knows that in some rudimentary way, Abby has always, and will be always belong to her girlfriend.)

“Dude, we have to stay in touch,” Abby says, the morning after the party, when they run into each other. “I’m gonna need support at the White Christmas party next year. So, I don’t accidentally use the wrong fork and then embarrass myself.”

She laughs, enters her number into Abby’s phone. “I can’t promise I’ll be able to text all the time, because, well — hospital hours. But I will try.”

Harper, standing beside Abby, shoots her a tiny, strained smile. Things will never be great between them; there’s too much spilled blood, and angry tears that lie in this chasm, but this is maybe a tiny start to bring matters back to the way they were when it all started. Polite. Nice.

Abby texts her — “I can’t believe I survived the Caldwells” five days later, and Riley has no idea at the time, but good things are on their way.

*****

“Please, please, please, please, pleeeeease,” Abby begs her over the phone. Riley is pretty sure she’s actually holding her hand out in supplication.

“Can’t you just give her flowers and chocolate like a normal person?”

A dog barks on the other end, and Riley imagines her walking dogs on the streets. “But I know this is something she really, really wants!”

“An obsolete book that’s only found in a bookstore in New York?”

“Yes!” Abby replies. “Wait, hang on. John, tell her how important it is.”

Some muffled noises, then John’s clear, deadpan voice is audible. “Hey Riley,” he says, sounding disinterested as always, “How are — wait, lemme at least ask her how she’s been, how life in New York has been, if there are any cute guys in her hospital—”

Riley stifles a laugh.

“—yeah, yeah, okay. Fine. Riley, this woman really wants it, God knows why. So I’ll be in New York this weekend. I’ll come with you to that store and then bring that book back.”

“So why do I have to come?”

“Because,” Abby sighs, like it should be obvious, “I don’t trust John.”

Weekend. Sleeping in. Riley closes her eyes, whispers a Rest in peace to a previously perfect weekend.

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

*****

The woman nearly scares her out of her wits.

She’s split up with a still-woozy-from-his-flight John as he’s set off to find the book, and thumbing through the random paperbacks on the Fiction shelf, when a voice interrupts her musing.

“I wouldn’t recommend that one,” Riley hears, and whirls around, wide-eyed.

A woman steps out of the dark corner, hands held up as if in warning, an apologetic smile on her face. “I’m sorry,” she says, awkwardly, “that I — I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Riley shakes her head, waves a hand to tell her it’s alright. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Pretentious. Definitely sat with a thesaurus. Too many men.”

The tiny detective that sits at the back of head, the one that registers women, and says “It’s elementary, Watson” every time it sees behavior that might be not-heterosexual, goes off with a ding.

“Too many men is a problem,” she admits, wryly, broadcasting her own message in case there was a willing audience. I’m gay I’m gay I’m gay. “What would you suggest?”

The woman steps into the light, slow enough so Riley knows she’s going to enter her personal space. She picks out a book from the top shelf easily, holds it out in front of her.

This close, Riley can’t help but stare. She’s taller, with dark hair that falls just past her shoulders. She’s wearing thick glasses, and behind that, her eyes are tiny and smiling. Riley smiles back, a little awkwardly. Looks at the book, then laughs.

“Sorry,” the woman chuckles, pointing to the copy of Midnight Sun that she’s just handed over, “Little joke.”

They’re still smiling at each other, when John ruins it all by exclaiming “Maya!” from behind her. And that’s when Riley discovers how easy it is to manufacture meet-cutes. And that she really, really hates Abby Holland.

*****

“How dare you?”

Abby sighs on the other end. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

John, who is currently scarfing down a hotdog, mumbles his apologies into the speaker.

“I tried.”

“You didn’t even try,” Abby retorts. “What was the one thing I told you? Don’t let her on to the fact that you know Maya. And what did you do?”

“My best.”

Riley snatches it from him. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird of you to be setting up your girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend with your friend?”

(Just saying the whole thing aloud makes her head hurt)

“Harper doesn’t mind,” Harper’s reserved yet slightly amused voice comes, a little muffled. “Because Harper thinks it’s hilarious.”

There had been three rules, three rules that she had laid out for Abby at the very beginning, when their friendship was still in its tentative stages. One, no weird conversations about Harper. Two, no weird medical questions about fingers. And three, no setting Riley up on blind dates.

Riley had dodged Abby’s attempts to break rule number three about five times already.

(Who knew one could have so many single, willing and Sapphic friends in New York city? Part of Riley was annoyed; the other part was impressed)

“It’s not going to happen, you hear me?” she enunciates. “Absolutely not.”

*****

Riley doesn’t know why she’s back at the bookstore.

Well, she does. Officially, that is. As she had told John already, she hated the idea of things being so awkward, and that Maya must’ve felt that she was rude for clamming up after the whole story came to light, and that she definitely ought to go clear things up with her, let her know very politely that it wasn’t in the cards. John had uh-huh-ed and mm-hmm-ed and nodded until she got annoyed at herself for overexplaining. It was simply a courtesy call, that’s all. Nothing more, nothing else.

(If part of the reason she wants to go back is because, after a long, long time, she went to sleep with someone’s face in the back of her mind that night, kept replaying that certain someone’s voice over and over, it is none of John’s business. Or Abby’s, for that matter.)

It was crazy. Crazy. They’d had one conversation, and part of it had been after Riley had found out she was supposed to be set up, and thus had been filled with Maya trying to ease things over. There was no reason she needed to be thinking this much about someone.

(Not that she was. Thinking that much. About a woman. Just a regular amount)

“So wait, let me get this straight,” Maya looks right at her, “You came all this way to tell me that you don’t want to go on a date with me?”

Well now Riley just feels stupid. “Yes.”

Maya tilts her head a little. “Okay,” she says, “Just out of curiosity, what’s your problem with being set up with people?”

Oh, this she can answer. “One, the general awkwardness with your friends if it doesn’t work out,” she ticks off on her fingers. “Two, too much pressure to make it work. Three, I’m not—”

“—yes?”

Lovable. Bearable. Worth it.

“—looking to date?”

“What qualifies as a date to you, though?”

“A meal shared with romantic intent. Holding doors open, pulling chairs out. You know, the drill.”

Maya seems to be mulling it over. “Alright,” she says, nodding slowly. “What if.... what if two people were to spend time together with no food, no holding doors open or pulling chairs out? Technically that wouldn’t be a date, would it?”

Riley has to bite at the inside of her cheek to smother the smile that’s threatening to set up home on her lips.

“No,” she replies, “It wouldn’t.”

*****

This is what not-dating Maya is like.

It’s tired half-hour phone conversations at odd hours of the day. Riley doesn’t have a lot of time free, but she doesn’t go to sleep without talking to her at least once. She falls asleep to Maya nerding out about the books she’s read, about how she wants to own a gay café, about how she saw the ugliest shirt on a discount store window, bought it, and couldn’t wait to put it on. Wakes up to texts that read “Okay I know you fell asleep but I can’t, so I’m just gonna rant about random shit you can read about when you’re up, okay?” followed by some inane discussion on whether her pillow would be a salad or a sandwich if it could be eaten. It’s stumbling on the streets, half-carrying a drunk Maya as she navigates the confusing maze of New York avenues, and insists on having pizza wherever she goes. It’s bright smiles shot across coffee shops, tired rants before bed. It’s easy.

It’s so easy that Riley has no idea what to do.

“Can you keep a secret?” she asks John on the phone, right before she tells him what’s been happening the past month.

To his credit, he listens to the whole thing before he says something monumentally stupid.

“A whole month and you haven’t had sex? I thought you had game.”

“Oh, fuck off. It’s not like that.”

“You don’t want to have sex with her?”

She’s blushing. “I — I do,” she says, feeling hot all over at the very thought. “I just — it’s not — not what’s important.”

“No, I mean, seriously” he says. “What do you guys even do? Stare at each other’s faces all day?”

“I wish I could stare at her face all day,” she says, before she’s even thinking about it. “Her face is all.... nice. Pretty. Oh God.”

“Oh God is right, darling,” he sounds amused. “You got it bad.”

“I do not — got it bad.”

“You do.”

“I do not — ugh fine.”

“Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that you do got it,” he proposes. “What are you going to do about it?”

Riley takes a deep breath, lets it out. She has no answer to that.

*****

The next day, Maya says, sheepishly — “I guess you finally told Abby, huh?”

“Wait, what?” she’s confused. “Told her what?”

Maya blinks, awkwardly, waves a hand between them. Realization dawns.

“I told John!” Riley tells her, furiously. “That asshole must have told her.”

Maya shrugs a shrug that seems to convey how stupid it was to trust John with keeping secrets from Abby of all people.

“But also,” Riley frowns, “I thought you must have told her already.”

“Nah, I hadn’t.”

“Why not?”

Maya shrugs again, hands in her pockets. “I didn’t know if you wanted her to know.”

And see, it’s this consideration that leaves her lacking for words. Maya is effortlessly considerate, to the point where she wouldn’t say something even if it was bothering her. She’s constantly putting Riley’s needs in front of her own, constantly worried about how she feels and Riley is just. She’s just—

(The word grateful, smitten pops into her head. Refuses to exit)

“You’re nice,” she says, because other adjectives would be too revealing. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful. You’re probably the light of my life.

“I’m only nice to you, Riley,” Maya admits, very frankly. Riley kind of wants to ask her why that is. She’s kind of scared to ask her why that is.

*****

“Just ask her out, already, jeez.”

“I — I can’t,” she tells Abby, sitting at the park, phone in her hand.

“You like her,” Abby states. “She likes you. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“She likes me?” Riley asks, knowing that she’s probably giving away all her hope in her voice.

(Okay, in some weird, convoluted way, she knows Maya likes her already. She’s not completely useless, contrary to popular lesbian stereotype. Just an—

“-Idiot,” she hears, a deadpan chastisement that she rolls her eyes at, “What are you even waiting for?”

“I — I’m not — I don’t know, okay? I’m not—”

The ghosts of her ex-girlfriends in the background, go — Good at being emotionally available. Good at being committed. Good at loving people. Good.

Abby stays quiet.

“I don’t think I can make her happy,” Riley says, finally.

There’s the sound of a sigh on the other end. “What if you already do?”

*****

“Again,” she says, as she’s walking backwards, “I am so, so sorry.”

Maya, who has been waiting for her to get done with her surgeries since two hours now, and will probably have to wait another couple of them, waves her phone in the air, laughs. “I’ll read a book until you get back, okay? Go do your thing.”

She’s on an ob-gyn rotation, but thankfully, the delivery goes smoothly. And a good thing it is, because her head is all over the place. Two warring factions are on a rampage — one that’s raring to go tell the girl of Riley’s dreams that she is, in fact, that girl of Riley’s dreams, and the other equally strong battalion that is standing there with flags raised, flags that read – But what if it goes wrong?

Here’s the second thing about Riley: Love barely ever goes right around her.

Oh, she’s dated people before. Loved them, adored them. And yet, things always start falling apart after a while, start shattering into pieces. Honestly, she doesn’t even blame them. Who wants someone who barely has time to talk for an hour because she’s almost always busy, who is ridiculously tired most days, and barely has the time or energy to grow a relationship?

(So it will happen when it happens, but also, when it happens, Riley has a tendency of scrambling for cover)

She walks into the main hall with the paperwork, and stands at the nurses’ station, lets out a deep breath.

“Your girl tuckered out an hour ago,” Shaqueel tells her, leaning against the table, casually interested. She can see the rest of the nurses leaning in for better quality audio.

“Not my girl,” she tells him, fighting to keep a straight face.

“Really?” Julie asks, face resting on her elbow, an expression Riley can only describe as sappy on her face. “Because she would like to be, that’s for sure.”

Riley turns to Danny. “I told you to make sure none of these,” she waves a hand towards all of them, “busybodies talk to her!”

He shrugs. “What can I say? They were determined.”

“Useless,” she says, already walking away. There’s so much damage control to be done.

Danny texts her a “She’s a keeper”, as she’s walking, and even though she’s mad at all of them, part of her is inclined to agree.

*****

Maya is sleeping.

Riley knows the tone in which she’s thinking this is certainly not the one two strictly platonic buddies would take while referring to each other and yet the tenderness seeps in, anyways. She looks at the hair falling over her askew glasses and wants to brush it off; looks at her dozing with her mouth open and the sight is such a perfect mixture to utterly absurd and adorable that she wants to wake up to it in the morning. Every day.

She takes a deep breath, presses at all of her wants and urges until they’re packed, once again, in the already filled box related to all things Maya in her head. Kneels so she’s almost at her level, and gently taps Maya on the shoulder.

(Waking up comes as beautifully to Maya as do all things, and Riley is most definitely an idiot in love)

“I’m sorry I fell asleep,” she says, softly, her eyes still squinty from the last remnants of her nap.

“Don’t apologize,” Riley replies, equally as soft. “I fall asleep all the time on the phone.”

“Eh, you save babies. It’s alright.”

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long.”

“Riley,” Maya tells her, very seriously. “I would wait a lot longer for you.”

(And because being stupid is a fundamental quality of Riley being in love, there’s absolutely no way she isn’t swooning at that, inside)

She’s sleepy and tired and stupid right now, so it’s probably coloring her judgement, but she’s done caring. Riley Johnson is not letting this one get away.

“Would you,” she starts, slowly, “consider waiting two more days so you can take me out to a fancy restaurant on Saturday?”

There’s a light in Maya’s eyes that she can only classify as hope. “Depends. Would you open the door for me and pull my chair out?”

Riley’s smiling so wide her cheeks hurt. “Absolutely.”

“Well, then,” Maya says, leaning in, “It’s about fucking time.”

#happiest season #fanfiction #riley owns my heart #okay so this comes out of my intense need to give riley her own happy ending because the woman was a freaking angel #and its kinda all over the place so there #also im convinced john and riley would be the best of friends #and maya just looks like elizabeth olsen to me idky

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years ago

Text

Soft in Love Part 6

A Gwilym Lee x Student!Reader

Summary: Y/N is an acting student in her last semester of college. When a professor unexpectedly can’t make it for the senior capstone class, a very famous (and handsome) substitute is called in. When they connect, they face a few challenges.

Word Count: 3.1k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @benders-diamond-earring, @im-an-adult-ish, @anincurablefangirl, @kiainspace, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @god-save-the-deaks, @assembledherethevolunteers, @misslolasworld, @not-john-watsons-blog, @spacedustmazzello, @theindiealto, @riddikuluslypotter, @depressedbitchxox, @tenement-funstah, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls, @sarablog10, @johndeaconshands, @coincidence-ithinknots-blog, @simonedk If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy this update! Our boy Joe makes an appearance so that’s exciting!

Warning(s): Lizzie and Darcy level pining. Shit is serious.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6 here we go!!!

Several emotions hit Gwilym all at once. Shock at seeing Andrew kiss you. Relief at you pushing him away. Hurt that such an opportunity had presented itself to Andrew. And a fierce desire to protect you from something you didn’t want. He pushed all of it down and tried to collect himself because the most prevalent feeling that was standing over all the others was jealousy. Extreme jealousy that Andrew had taken you in his arms and embraced you like that.

Your mouth hung open in horror as you looked between Gwilym and Andrew. You couldn’t read the former’s face. Was he angry at you? Should it matter if he was?

“I’m sorry,” Gwilym said, clearing his throat. “It appears I’ve interrupted something.”

“You haven’t,” you said, while at the same time, Andrew said, “You did.”

You shot your friend a glare before looking back at Gwilym.

“You didn’t,” you said firmly. “That was nothing.”

“Nothing, huh?” Andrew challenged. “Seriously, Y/N?”

“You didn’t even give me time to answer you before you kissed me!” you cried, facing Andrew again. “If you had, this very awkward situation wouldn’t be happening because I would have told you it’s not like that!”

“I’ll excuse you,” Gwilym said.

He opened the door and went through it before you could stop him. You glowered at Andrew, who rolled his eyes.

“What?” he snapped. “Afraid I ruined your chances?”

“No!” you shouted. “I’m angry because you kissed me before you even bothered to hear me! Do you think your feelings are all that matter? That I’d just fall into your arms after you confessed how you felt?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again, searching for an answer.

“Here’s a tip for the next girl,” you said. “Make sure she wants to kiss you before just going in.”

“Why don’t you feel that way?” he asked. “Because of Gwilym?”

“No!” you said, wanting to scream with frustration. “It’s never been that way between us, even before Dan or anyone else came into the picture! I have only ever wanted to be your friend! Is that not enough for you?!”

He hesitated, and it appeared guilt came over him at your words. His silence worried you.

“Is that not enough for you, Andrew?” you pressed. “Or do you really only see me as a potential girlfriend?”

Still, he didn’t answer. Fear tugged at your heart.

“Andrew, please!”

“I...I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said. “But while I feel this way about you, it’s probably better if we don’t hang out.”

“What?” you gasped. “That’s it? Are you ser-”

“Not forever,” he said, cutting you off. “I just...I’m gonna need some time. It’s gonna be hard enough with the show and loving you on stage.”

“I’m sorry, Andrew,” you said. “I’m really sorry I can’t get there.”

“It’s fine,” he replied with a heavy sigh that told you the opposite. “I’m gonna...I’m gonna head home for break early. I think Gwilym will understand.”

You nodded, feeling a lump in your throat.

“Yeah, I think he will,” you choked out.

Andrew shared one last look at you and then left without another word, exiting near the stage. You took a deep, shuddering breath. So much was going through you. Anger at Andrew, sadness that your friendship was affected, and worry about what Gwilym was thinking.

“Gwilym!” you gasped, and ran back up the aisle to where he had left.

A thousand things were running through Gwilym’s mind. He was relieved to hear you reject Andrew, but he realized that he shouldn’t be. It was perfectly normal for you to date the guys in your class. Sensible, even. But why did it kill him to imagine it? His visceral reaction to seeing Andrew’s hands and mouth on you concerned him.

“Get a grip,” he scolded himself. “She’s not yours. Nor should she be.”

Then you burst through the door and he forgot everything but you.

You came through the door and saw him pacing, forefinger to his chin, and eyes narrowed. His head whipped around when he heard the door open and you locked eyes. He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and strode quickly over to you. Then, he gathered you up in his arms.

You let out a soft gasp, but quickly relaxed into him, burying your face in his chest. His hand came to rest on the back of your head. That familiar warm smell overwhelmed you. Being in his arms was like nothing you’d ever felt before. You were stronger there than anywhere else. Your arms slid around his waist and you held on tighter.

“Alright?” he murmured into your hair.

You nodded.

“I’m perfect right here,” you whispered.

You stood there, in that beautiful hug, for minutes that felt like years. Just you and Gwilym and no one else. There was nothing suggestive about the hug. It was just true, genuine comfort. A display of caring affection.

“Nothing happened, I promise,” you said, bringing you both back to the present moment.

He pulled back only slightly and met your eyes again.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Y/N,” he said.

“I know, but I want you to understand,” you said. “I meant what I said yesterday, there’s nothing between me and Andrew.”

Andrew was right. Silly as it was, you had feared for a moment that your chances with Gwilym were ruined. You thought he would assume you preferred someone in your class, especially your good friend. But your heart belonged to Gwilym. Nothing made it clearer than this moment.

“We should go in,” he said. “The rest of the class will be here soon.”

“Andrew went home,” you told him.

“I understand,” he replied. “We’ll do scenes without him today.”

You nodded. Then, taking his hand, you followed him into the auditorium.

Rehearsal went smoothly, and you were at ease again. Things with Andrew would mend. In the meantime, you and Gwilym could continue on just as you had been.

That night, Sloan called you as she was driving home to New Jersey for the break. She was affronted that you hadn’t told her about Andrew’s confession during class. Apparently, she had only found out at all from Andrew.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I didn’t want to gossip about him if he didn’t want you to know. He was really vulnerable.”

“I’m both of you guys’ best friend!” she insisted. “I should know all things.”

You chuckled.

“That’s fair.”

“Okay, now tell me your side of the story,” she said.

You launched into it, holding nothing back. What Andrew said, what you said, how you felt about it, everything.

“And then Gwilym walked in as he kissed me!” you finished.

“Oh, weird!” she gasped. “Was it awkward?”

“Awkward as fuck,” you confirmed. “But, it didn’t last long.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

You were kicking yourself. You couldn’t tell her about the moment afterward because it felt too personal. Also, you were certain she would think it was stupid. But you had felt what Gwilym felt for you through his arms. You were sure of it.

“Well, he left, then Andrew and I finished up,” you said.

You explained that he wanted a break from you.

“I’m sorry if that puts you in an awkward position,” you said.

“It’ll be fine,” she returned. “I can see you at school and him at home. And we’ll all be together in rehearsal anyway.”

“That’s true,” you said.

“Anything else?” she asked. “Did Gwilym ask you about what happened?”

You froze, unsure how to answer her. You didn’t want to lie, but for you and Gwilym’s protection, you would have to.

“No,” you said. “It’s not like it was his business, y’know?”

“True,” she agreed. “Well, traffic is literal ass and I’ve almost been hit like four times during just this phone call.”

You giggled. “Understood. You focus and text me when you get home.”

“Roger,” she said. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you returned.

You hung up. Gazing at the phone, you wondered if you should have just told her. She was your best friend after all. You could trust her. But, there was the fear of anyone finding out. Not that there was anything to really find out. You and Gwilym were not in a relationship. But you felt strongly for each other. You could not have imagined that.

Gwilym got a call from Joe that night, inviting him out for dinner. He agreed, and they met at a spot that was a favorite of Joe’s. They hugged excitedly upon their reunion before going inside and getting a table.

“It’s wonderful to see you, mate,” Gwilym said as they ordered some beers.

“You too!” Joe returned. “I can’t believe you’ve been in New York this long and we haven’t gotten together.”

“I know, it’s ridiculous,” Gwilym agreed. “How are you?”

Joe started talking about a new project he was doing that was filming here in New York for a while. It worked out because he got to be home with his family.

“I mean, the schedule is still crazy, of course, but it’s more time than I usually get with the kiddos,” he finished. “How are you? What’s it like teaching?”

Gwilym hesitated before answering.

“It’s, uh...it’s pretty great,” he said. “We’re doing Meet Me in St. Louis for the capstone class I have, and that’s exciting.”

“Sweet,” said Joe. “Got any hot students?”

Gwilym choked on the sip of beer he was taking. He coughed as Joe raised an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, I was just kidding, but now I’m worried,” he said, clapping Gwilym on the back.

“Why should you be worried?” Gwilym wheezed, clearing his throat some more as he recovered.

“Don’t lie to me, dude,” Joe said. “Are you seriously fucking one of your students?”

“No!” Gwilym said loudly, his voice back. He lowered his volume. “And keep it down.”

“Shouldn’t have to if you’ve got nothing to hide,” Joe returned.

“Okay,” Gwilym conceded with a sigh. “There is a student I am close to.”

Joe opened his mouth but Gwilym silenced him with a sharp look.

“Nothing has happened, nor will it,” he went on. “But the feelings...are there. She’s incredibly smart and talented and funny.”

“Pretty?” Joe asked.

“Beautiful,” Gwilym said. “I know it’s wrong, but we’ve really connected, and I dunno...I…”

“You in love with her?” Joe wondered.

Gwilym’s cheeks went pink. “God, I don’t know! I only met her a few weeks ago!”

“Tell me what has happened between you.”

Gwilym went into the story. He told Joe everything, from your first meeting, to the party, to the minutes before class, all the way through that afternoon when he’d hugged you and felt like the world had suddenly fallen into place.

“Sounds like love to me,” Joe said. “Or damn close to it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re encouraging this,” Gwilym said.

“Oh, fuck no, not even a little bit,” Joe returned. “It’s a terrible idea to pursue a student. But I think it’s not just sex you want from her, so that’s good. And when you’re not her teacher anymore, maybe it could work.”

“I don’t know,” Gwilym argued. “She’s still so much younger than me and our lives are in different places. She wants to go to LA, I’m going back to London...”

“Gwil, if you care about this girl, those things won’t matter,” Joe said. “What matters right now is setting a firm boundary until the opportunity is right. And you can tell her it’s mostly for her. She stands to lose a lot more than you.”

That was true. It was why Gwilym was so worried about the whole thing. He finished dinner with Joe, and as he went to bed, his mind wandered to you and what steps he should take next.

The break went by agonizingly slowly in your opinion. The school week would resume on Tuesday, and you couldn’t wait to see Gwilym again. Just the prospect, the idea of being in the same room as him made your heart flutter.

Tuesday morning, you got an email from Gwilym. It was sent to all the class and said that he was giving them extra time to get back, and only wanted you and Andrew for rehearsal, so you two could focus on your scenes. You thought it might be a bit awkward to just be with the two of them again, but there was no getting out of it for you.

Then you got a text from Andrew. Pushing down your shock, you opened it.

Hey, not feeling great. Just have Gwilym read for me today.

You hated to admit it, but a whole class period of just you and Gwilym was everything you could hope for. You thought about how to answer Andrew.

Still drunk? Lol

You sent it. He replied just as quickly.

I’ve got a fever asshole lmao

You smiled. Okay. Things could get back on track. You texted back a thumbs up emoji and then got ready for class. Your heart thundered with excitement with each step.

Gwilym, on the other hand, was mulling over what Joe said. He’d spent the break wondering if he should talk to you and firmly put an end to...whatever it was between you. Fond as he was of you, this wasn’t right. He could not let you risk your college career. And he didn’t want to lead you on, either. It was going to be difficult. He didn’t want to hurt you. But he would if it meant protecting you.

He waited in the auditorium, drumming his fingers against his clipboard. You arrived early, just as you did every day. And you looked stunning, just as you did every day. His chest tightened.

“Morning!” you said brightly. “Andrew’s sick, so it’s just me. Can you take his place?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure. Let’s get started.”

Your brow furrowed. Something was off about him. He was hardly looking at you and seemed closed off.

“I thought we’d focus on Over the Bannister,” he said. “Luckily for Andrew, that’s mostly your scene anyway.”

That was more like the Gwilym you knew. Still, something was bothering him.

“Okay,” you agreed. “Where should we start from?”

“Right after Rose goes upstairs,” he said.

You got into position on stage and waited for him to join you.

“Let’s begin,” he said.

Clearing his throat again, he got into character.

“Well, I guess I better get going,” he started, shaking your hand.

“You haven’t very far to go,” you replied softly, as Esther.

“No, I haven’t at that,” he returned. “Well, good night.”

He turned to go and you followed him.

“We’ll be seeing more of you won’t we?” you asked desperately, taking his hand again.

“You bet,” he answered.

“You’ll be joining the crowd Friday when we go to the fairgrounds, won’t you?”

You went back and forth with him this way until he had fully walked off stage.

“Mr. Truitt?” you called.

He stepped back.

“Yes, Miss Esther?”

“This is an untoward request, but would you mind accompanying me through the house while I turn out the lights?” you said.

“Well, I -”

“It’s just that I - I’m afraid of mice,” you said timidly

“Oh,” he said. “Oh, well, sure. Uh, that’s the least a man can do for his charming hostess.”

You giggled and looked at the floor with humility.

“I have to turn them out everywhere - in the dining room, in the living room, and everywhere.”

You turned and looked at him and then he followed you around the stage as you started turning down the “lights.” He had his arm around you to reach up and turn one off and you bit your lip. The contact was so welcome. You wanted to hug him again. Now, you were grateful that this was very in character at the moment.

“It certainly is dark in here with the lights off,” you said with a shrug.

“It is,” he returned. “Shall we do the dining room next?”

“Yes,” you said.

Together you moved to the next part of the stage to do the same thing. You started to hum “The Boy Next Door,” and he looked so fondly at you, you stopped breathing. You cleared your throat and moved on with the scene. Finally, you made it back to the staircase, much more red in the face than you had begun.

You were halfway up the stairs, looking down at Gwilym warmly. He gazed back with a soft smile.

“Gosh, Miss Esther,” he said. “I - I hope I’m not too presumptuous. You don’t need any beauty sleep.”

He rested his arm on the banister railing and you beamed.

“What a nice compliment,” you replied.

“How does it go?” he said.

“How does what go?” you wondered.

“Over the banister, leans a face,” he said. “Tenderly sweet, and...and…”

You began to sing. Gwilym had decided you should do this song acapella, to reflect the vulnerability of the moment.

“Beguiling

While below her with tender grace

He watches the picture, smiling”

Gwilym could hardly stand it as he watched you. Your voice, your face, your heart. They were all so beautiful. He had you here, all to himself too.

“A light burns dim in the hall below

Nobody sees them standing”

Against the script, Gwilym started climbing the stairs, a strange, determined look on his face. He reached you as you as you sang.

“Saying goodnight again

Soft in love”

The last note faltered. You were so close now. The air between you was charged, electric. Your eyes were fixed on his, which burned as they consumed you. He leaned in. He was going to kiss you, you were sure of it.

“Y/N,” he said lowly. “The lyric is ‘soft and low.’”

“Is it?” you breathed back. “My mistake.”

His face was inches from yours. He was finally going to kiss you. The distance was closing. Your eyes began to fall shut. You felt his lips barely a centimeter from yours. Just a bit further, more contact, and then -

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, backing away.

You opened your eyes and looked at him.

“W-what?” you wondered, heart rate picking up.

“I can’t,” he said. “I can’t do this to you, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

You watched, frozen with shock, as he jogged down the stairs, grabbed his things from the stage, and walked out of the auditorium. You sat down on the fake stairs, numb and alone.

145 notes · View notes

mcrvictoria · 4 years ago

Text

God (the play)

Characters: A mottle group that went to grade school together till the end of High school. Even though they have different personalities, they maintain a close relationship even in there late twenties. Bringing New couples into the mix and dealing with the off-putting scenarios the characters create.

God: Stereotypical character, white toga Style robe. Seems innocent almost naive. Seems to have an Identity crisis. Definite wisdom but seems simple when dealing with tough situation. Playful and whimsical as well.

Phil: Late twenties, anal and looks for people's approval even though he's successful at his job. Seems a bit needy with a touch of sarcasm that is retracted when he goes to far. Can be self-defeating and can be a bit of a whiner.

Martha: Wise but quietly wanting everyone to be happy. A people-pleaser, her main goal is to become the perfect host. Dedicated to Phil. Knows things others don't seem to know but can be so blind at times and a bit of a snob. She seems to miss the small things.

Tom: Very religious, devout, a little dumb. Easily influenced by Jen. Very scattered and reactionary. Illogical. Blind to all around him. Controlled by base emotions and short tempered.

Jen: Tom's Girlfriend. Not smart but thinks she is. Really argumentative. Emotional and reactive. Very aggressive. Uses sex as a weapon with Tom. Massively manipulative.

Tammy: The most unlucky person ever. If anything can go wrong, it will. She falls a lot, always hurt, outer circle even affected. Can be sad and meek at times. But still seems to carry a smile even if fake. Has an expecting nature about her and stoic.

Dr. Segal: Arrogant, controlling, big ego. Is a Player and condescending. Very shallow and materialistic. Male chauvinistic personality. Objectives women. Really believes he's better than others.

Corina: Very shallow, gold digger, materialistic. Only wears and top brands but never pays for anything. Has multiple boyfriends. Dr. Segal being one of them. Using her looks for gains. Very flirty cheats on all relationships.

Zoe: A clone of Corina but pretends to be dumber. Wrestles with being moral has a conscience but ignores it most times. Important to mimic Corina as much as possible.

Liz: Rhon's Girlfriend, an accomplished musician, university TA. Sweet, kind, a little silly, quiet and very smart. Super humble, supportive and affectionate. Loves animals and people. Can be naive because she wants to believe in the best of people.

Death: Based on a grandmother character. Super sweet, soft just exudes love. Must have grannies glasses. Flowered dress. Little hate, like going to church on Sunday. Cane, just someone you would love no matter what.

Rhon (the actor): Liz's boyfriend, logical, scientific in nature. A intellectual always ready for a debate. Can be loud at times. Knows a lot about the universe and not afraid to share his ideas. Strong sense of self.

Rhon Grenon (The director): Laid back but impatient, direct, demanding if pushed. Also has a contradicting personality, a “I don't care attitude”, but takes everything personal. Knows what he likes and can be a little arrogant about it.

Cue card guy: The real Rhon Grenon. AKA, L.A. Glanvill

Song list:

Voy Vance - Make it rain.

Kidnap kid - first light.

The Pete box - Wave.

Syd Matters – River sister.

Pretty lights – Finally moving.

Patrick Watson – To build a home. (Tammy Dies)

Youngblood Hawk – We come running.

Our last night – Voices.

Two Feet – Had some drinks.

San Holo – Light.

Suuns – Translate.

The Chemical Brothers - Snow.

Miike Snow – Cult logic.

John Butler – Ocean.

Waterboys – To close to heaven.

Phosphoroscent – Song for Zula.

The Strumbellas – We don't know.

Ray LaMontagne – Empty.

The Acid – Basic Instinct.

Low- Lullaby

Crews:

Sound Crew: Responsible of overall feel of the atmosphere and vital to success of the feel of the play.

Lighting crew: Timing is everything. Absolute focus is necessary or wont work especially in the end.

Food Crew: Have to do set up during end of play, Quietly and quickly. Then responsible to encourage people to start to eat. Bring them food or ask them what they want.

Audience Plants: Willing to engage neighbours and encourage them to get involved to the party. Start before the play starts.

Make-up crew: Responsible for all wardrobe and make-up but essential at the end to make Jen a car accident victim..

Visual Crew: Responsible for timing and visual play on TV. Easter Egg

Set Crew: Layout and design as well of placement for optimal full party organization.

Media Crew: Hit all formats of social media. Create a buzz.

Flood of lights across a room, showing all the details of the stage. Centre stage is a typical living room with couch and TV facing audience. Modern style decor Music plays softly in the background. Looks like there is a preparation for a party going on. Banner saying congratulations up and balloons, food out. Three characters are already walking around finishing prepping. The Lights dim, the characters continue to do what they are doing, above the lights and music comes the deep booming voice of God as his speech continues, the rest get the room finished and ready for the party.

GOD: In the beginning there was nothing. Pause Nothing here anyway. This darkness, which wasn't actually darkness at the time because no one had come along to start naming things. Just was... Pause nevertheless; anyway; All the same. From the darkness I created the sun, the moon and all the stars. People weren't even on my mind at this point. I was creating scenery. See. Then I laid out the earth here and touched it up with all the beauty I could imagine. Birds, flowers, trees, beetles, rocks, sand, rainbows and snowy peaked mountains. Eventually, water crept up on the land as land invaded the waters and beasts I envisioned lived in blissful ignorance. All but one; Distaste in voice HUMANS. Humans who started thinking that they had monkeys as ancestors. Who considered themselves the descendants of muscular slugs, who heroically dragged their slippery bodies from the water to land to evolve. Again distaste in voice Suddenly, I feel a need to inform them of their folly; To make my presence known; To inform educate, instruct and edify; To help them understand themselves and to do something. Pause You see, I've become so incredibly bored.

Lights rise again full. The three characters are speaking with one another from across the room. Light music. The doorbell rings.

Phil: I'll Get it. Walks towards the door. Stage Left. Martha raises a hand but not her head as she works away at making finger sandwiches. Phil opens the door to Tammy, Jen, and Thom. Who is carrying a bag of ice. Tammy has a grease mark on her face and her hands are slightly stained, her clothes are wrinkled and hair all messed.

Oh my god Tammy what the hell happened?

Tammy looks at her feet and doesn't answer.

Tom: Her car had a little trouble.

Jen: A little Trouble? I didn't even know that thing could move. It was a rolling horror show.

Tom: She just had a flat tire. Jen: A flat tire!?! I think all four tires of those tires were running on rims. She had flat rims.

Phil: Takes Tammy's hand You ok, hun?

Tammy nods her head walks over and puts a bowl of crab dip that she brought on the table.

Tammy: I'll put the Crab dip here that I made here Martha. Is that ok?

Martha: Come in, come in all of you. Why are you all standing around? Yes Tammy that's fine, right there is fine.

Phil moves to the side and holds the door open. The three walk by him and toss their jackets on the side chair. Phil, looking towards the entering guests goes to close the door behind him but Dr. Segal with Corina and Zoe walk in one on each arm like arm candy. Bumping into Phil as they enter.

Dr. Segal: How's it going, Hi, Hi. I'm here let the party begin.

Phil goes to close the door and looks out to the audience. The spotlight focuses on him. The rest of the cast greet each other , and talk give hugs and hellos. They all grab drinks that Martha is holding on a tray.

Phil: I decided to throw a party. Because I never do these kind of things: Normally I like a nice quiet night in with my fiance, Martha. Or a night on the town at a play, an intimate blues bar or a open air concert. But not in my house, I'm not to found of having people in my house. But these are my friends.

Pause, looks at the group.

A motley crew of misanthropes; self-doubters the lot of them. But aren't we all? They hide it well though, don't they? Dr. Segal there, with the ladies by his side. A plastic surgeon. He has devoted his life, specifically, to enlarging the mammary glands on the already well-endowed women: Women such as Corina, The young woman on his left.

Corina laughs, pushes her chest out, and gives Dr. Segal a slap on the shoulder

Corina didn't always look like that. Nor did any of us really want her to. She's beautiful, in her own way. Then there's Zoe who's thinking of surgery herself, but isn't sure. Why you ask? Because she isn't sure of anything or at least that's what I think. She sure seems to know everything.

Zoe steps back from the other two and raising one hand begins to yatter in a way that the others two roll their eyes at her

Phil: Jen and Tom, have a dysfunctional/ destructive relationship if there ever has been one. They can fight about anything; where the sun sets. What time it is on the moon. If an orange was purple what would it be called? But then they have, or so I've been told, knock out sex. Isn't that the way though?

Jen and Tom seem to be arguing about something of near the kitchen table

And then there's Tammy, poor, poor Tammy. We've been calling her that for years now. Nothing that we know of has ever gone her way. Her father left when she was four, then her mother died on her when she was five. She was shipped off and raised by a grandmother who didn't believe in children. Lucky for her she died when she was Ten. Then many foster-homes. And she disappeared for a good five years. These things are not mentioned in the group. None of ask and she doesn't share. Since she came back her luck has even gotten worse. If there is a chair leg to catch a toe on , she will. If she jumps a green light, she'll get t-boned by another car. If she dates a nice guy. An aspiring doctor...and don't let her know I told you this... he'll end up being the doctor only so much as that he'll get caught dismembering the neighbourhood cats.

Tammy goes to sit down and falls of the chair. Spilling her drink on herself

Then there is Martha and I, We've been together six years now. One day soon I am going to ask for her hand... I didn't know I could love someone this much. And this is my party which I have been planning for two weeks. Now you are all up to speed let's jump in and see where this goes.

Martha is handing out food still and the doorbell rings again. Stage lights up and Phil walks over to answer the door.

Rhon: Hey buddy boy! Gives Phil a hug then pushes him

Phil: Where's Liz?

Rhon: She's on her way. She wanted to bring her own car so she could leave when she wanted to from work.

Rhon Takes of his coat and drops it on the couch, Phil goes to close the door and Liz enters with God slightly behind her. She runs in leaving the door open, God wanders in as the attention is on Liz

Liz: Rhon, Rhon. I won! I won the award for my composition!

She runs across the room and hugs Rhon. Rhon raises a glass in his hand to toast her

Rhon: A toast, To Liz, who just won some epic award for which I assume is a beautiful musical composition.

Everyone raise their glasses, cheer and then drink deeply. Then the girls jump up and down in excitement and joy. Before going back to what they were doing. Lights dim. God Stands beside the couch examining the room, Hands behind his back, Tipping forwards on his feet. Phil goes and closes the door and turns to the audience. Spot light on Phil

Phil: Then there's Rhon and Liz. There's not a better couple out there, as far any of us can tell. And If I have to admit it I'm bit jealous of their relationship. Supportive and loving, disgustingly perfect. And then there's this...

Pauses looks at God hand stuck in air and confused

This Guy who I have never seen before. Who is this guy?

Stage lights up Phil walks over to Liz and Rhon who is excitedly talking to Rhon.

Phil: Who's your friend?

Liz: Who?

Phil: Dude with the beard. He came with you didn't he?

Liz: Never seen him before.

Everyone looks at God who is now watching the TV. Music changes to christian Gospel

Rhon: Who is this guy? And What's with the music?

Phil: Martha can we put on a different CD?

Martha walks over to change the CD but it keeps playing as she pulls out the CD as she holds it. She looks dumbfounded. Phil walks over to God

Phil: Hi There.

Looking quizzical, God just smiles, a kind generous smile

God: Good day, Sir.

Phil: Umm, Might I ask who you came with? Who you came with?

God pauses for a second, glances around the room and back to Phil. Some are looking at him, Liz, Rhon, and Tammy are paying attention to what he's saying. All others are conversing about there places and do not hear what he is about to say

God: I am God

Looking puzzled like he doesn't understand the question

Phil: God? As in Godfry. Right?

God: No, no, no. God.

Glances till he locks eyes towards Martha direction

Ask Martha.

Phil: Oh, you're a friend of Martha's.

God: Yes and no. But she'll understand.

Phil: God. Okay, God. I see.

Lights dim again, spotlight on God. Rest of the cast freezes.

God: To the audience. People simply do not understand. Was I to believe that they honestly would? God is not something that comes and talks to one Saturday night. Something, someone? That just shows up in your living room. God is supposed to be ethereal, everlasting and above all else, somewhere else; Somewhere mystical and above the clouds. Or trenched deep within one's heart: not standing on your carpet in your front room. How can I make them understand who I am? Well I cannot; they simply do, or they do not.

Lights back to full

Phil: God then.

God: To audience And Phil here does.

Phil: May I introduce you to my friend, Moses, Jesus and Mary. Snickers

God: I see. Sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. Has no one ever told you that, Phil?

Phil looks slightly shocked

Phil: How do you know my name?

God: I told you Phil, I am God.

Phil: I see.

God: Need I prove this to you somehow?

Phil: That may be a way to get over this awkwardness, no?

God: No.

Phil: No?

God: Yes, yes, of course. How might I prove this to you?

Phil: Snapping his fingers What was the name of the dog I had in high school? God responds quickly

God: Skippy

Phil: Where did I lose my Blanket when I was four?

God: You didn't, your mom threw it out? Taken aback and surprised but determined to catch him

Phil: Fine then, what is my favourite food?

God: Chocolate: which is odd, thought not as odd as the fact, bearing in mind the aforementioned fact, that you have never had a cavity. Thanks to me. He winks and giggles

Phil: And what...

God: Toothpaste.

Phil: Where...

God: Georgetown.

Phil: Stepping back But...

God: Spruce street, a quarter past five or quarter after five, Simultaneous multiple partners, a lakeside resort on the edge of Owen Sound, A four hundred dollar plate, the grass behind your house, with-in the bushes, Dying cats and teddy bear named Woo-woo you lost while searching for your little sister when she was lost one foggy May morning.

Phil: Head dropping Woo-woo.

God: Speaking in a Jamaican accent Yah Phil. I'm da real ting mon. And to answer you next question, I am here to raise my praise. People jus don believe anymore. Don believe in anything. And we all need somethin' to believe in, right mon. I am da lord and Savior. But if yu need some more proof.... Raises his hands above his head

Phil: No, No, that's alright. I'll play along.

God: Normal voice Are you sure? I have this amazing dancing elephant that will materialize at a moments notice. Doesn't make a mess. It's the dearest little thing I have ever seen.

Phil: No, I'm certain. But, could you do me a favour? I know you want to raise your praise and all, but could you keep the preaching to a minimum? I have been planning this party for a couple of weeks and really, well religious talk is such a downer. We just want to have fun.

God: Kicking his at the ground, head hung low, eyes looking up puppy-dog like Aww come on, I need to help people , help them understand that's there's something out there looking out for them.

Phil: Please. Begging

God: Oh All right, I'll try.

Phil: Try? If memory serves me right, you tried a few things a few times before and they have hardly worked out properly.

God: British accent Scotch, ma boy, I kna yu have a bottle a twenty five under yu bed.

Phil: Smiles I was saving that for a special occasion.

God: Well that special occasion is here.

Martha: Having made her way over to God Rod is it? My, my you should be wearing more clothing: it's cold out there.

God: Do you know what might warm me up?

Martha: Pigs in a blanket?

God: Yup. Pigs in a blanket. Smiles

Phil walks over to help Martha grab the food

Phil: It's god you know that don't you?

Martha: Yes of course I do. Who wouldn't know God?

Dr. Segal walks over quickly. God walks of to the food table. Picks up the crab dip that Tammy brought, Snif s it and gives a troubled face. Puts it back down

Dr. Segal: Who is that?

Phil: He's God.

Dr. Segal: With a smile on his face Let's look at this rationally, shall we. God, the being who created the universe, who created the prototypes for you and me. Who keeps the world spinning, who sends the sun up and the moon down. Or whatever it is that happens there. The big guy in the sky. He's here in your living room. The man with a plan, all the answers.

Corina overhears and comes over with Zoe in tow

Corina: This is stupid. If he has all the answers I don't care! All that matters is how you look and what you have. Everyone knows that.

Zoe: OMG! Corina come on that's not true. What about sad people: They need our help to make them happy. Like makeup and stuff.

Corina: Laughs loud and claps here hands like she has a great idea I know everybody feels better when you get a good haircut. Looking with wide eyes like she has a secret to share. We should start a club or crowd funding or group or facebook or whatever to give make-up workshops in Africa or hair extensions to the poor.

Both Girls squeal in delight and give each other a high five

Both: OMG YEAAA!!!

Phil looks dumbfounded and looks back to Dr. Segal to finish his conversation. Both girls talk among themselves

Phil: Umm, anyway sure, To answer you. Why not? I mean why not? Don't you...

Dr. Segal: Believe in God? Sure, sure. Why not. I believe in God But The guy with the beard over there is trying to steal your gold pen.

Phil: Pointing at God Hey, hey put that down!

God: Looking startled It's a beautiful pen Phil, lovely Fine gold.

Phil: Yeah, well you can see why I would be a little nervous about it then.

God: Indeed.

Dr. Segal and Phil walk over to where God is

Phil: And you might expect that I will Question why you have chosen to visit me. Tonight of all nights.

God: Indeed

Spot light on Phil

Phil: To Audience A rope walks into a bar and orders a beer, The bartenders says, Says we don't serve ropes here. The the rope bends over and shows him the top of his head and says fraid knot? No, wait that's not the one I wanted. Slaps himself on the knee Guy walks into a party and says, “ I'm God.” No, that's not nearly as funny. Guy throws a party and everything that could go wrong goes wrong. And God walks in.

Tom: To Phil smugly I see you are humouring the deity this evening Phil.

Phil: So you don't believe?

Tom: I do believe in God. I don't believe that that is him. I know God and his will: you know I am one of the faithful, one of his flock. I understand the heart and mind of God. I hate to say it Phil. But I am closer to God, more than any of you.

Jen: I don't believe it's him either. But let's have fun with him.

Phil Hangs his head as his friends walk past him. He turns around to find that the rest of the party members have gathered around God

Dr. Segal: Those are some hefty bags under your eyes, old timer. Drop by my clinic and I could help you out with those.

Martha hands God a snifter of scotch

Zoe: Like, where do you stand on abortion?

Corina: Can you make me Prettier?

Rhon: When I look into the night sky I can only see so far, right? I want to know what the edge of the universe looks like.

Everyone is there surrounding God

Liz: Where is the most beautiful place on Earth?

Phil: Once we have figured out DNA what will we know?

Jen: To Phil Why would he care about that?

Tom: To Jen Why would he not?

Jen: Where do you even come up with such dumb things to say?

Tom: Oh-for-crying-out-loud Jen! Why can't you just agree on one thing for once?

Jen: You always say that! I have my own thoughts, I don't like when you say I argue. Last time you did that I washed your shirt and nothing is ever good enough for you.

Tom: What the hell are you talking about? They both walk of arguing getting softer as they walk away. Improve argument from here. Everyone turns back to God to ask more questions. But not loud. Silent but dramatic actions. Music louder like a Montague

Tammy softly speaks as music drops almost shy like

Tammy: What is luck?

The party slips into slow motion but for God and Phil

God: Looking mournfully towards Phil You know Phil, You weren't selected at random. Your house was chosen. Wilfully selected. Let me tell you why I am here, Phil. Going into salesman mode People have managed to get the wrong idea about me Phil. My message has been bastardized to the point where I cannot tell what these people are talking about anymore. You have all made it more difficult than it needs to be. They've taken my words and ruined them. Changed them. Switched them up and spat them back out in odd formations to feed their own ego's. Someone should just ask me what I am talking about. Not these single little questions. These insignificant whims. Ask me what it is I mean by it all.

Phil: God, What are you talking about?

God: Ask me what it all means. What this world is all about.

Phil: What's it all about God?

God: Beats me. Giggles

Rest of the party snaps back out of slow motion and God and Phil are in there original places

Tammy: Why were all my loved ones taken from me so early on in life?

Jen comes back as Thom pouts in the corner by the food. She interrupts pushes her way in, then Thom follows back with a frown on his face

Jen: Is true love a reality? Or some sort of chemical bullshit?

Tom: Why are you asking this guy anything? He's not God!

Jen: How do you even know? Well? How could you know? It might be possible!

Tom: I, I, well I'd just know. I mean God doesn't come and start nattering to people in their living rooms, some night. Does he!

Martha: He could.

Liz: Is music truly the greatest divine blessing?

Rhon: okay, so what I find hard to swallow, is what religion is selling. It seems flawed, in a way that is beyond explanation. Hypocritical, controlling, and self-centred. I think that is the problem. Self-centred. Seriously though, I use to look up into the nights sky when I was a kid and wonder what was up there, all night long, watching the stars move and the clouds and the moon. Then one day I found out that it was us that was moving and not the stars. Or that the stars had already moved and what I was seeing was not even there anymore. They were just what was left of what was once there. Like that flicker when you turn off a TV at night. And seriously listen I couldn't go to church any more. I mean, If I can stare at something with my own eyes like that, something that doesn't even exist anymore, and the lights are beautiful. The earth moves on its own accord, and all this, all this stuff was actually created by something. I was damned certain that it, whatever it was that created all of this, was not going to care whether or not I stuffed myself into a little blue suit every Sunday morning and sang songs about how much I loved him. And how much I praised him. Come on wasn't Sunday supposed to be a day off anyway?

Everyone stops and looks at Rhon rant. For a moment when he's done silence. Then in unison to God

Everyone: Aren't you going to give us any answers?

God looks tired, settles down in a seat. Martha grabs a drink and brings it to God and a small plate of pigs in a blanket. He smiles at her and sips his scotch and closes his eyes to enjoy it

Martha: Let's all leave him alone for a moment, give him some space you guys.

Cast but Phil walks back to the food table talking to themselves

God: He makes me sound like I've been neutered or something.

Phil: We are not supposed to know the face of god, Or so we have been told.

God: Not supposed to know? Who decided this? Shaking his head at the statement

Phil: Only his work.

God: My work. Hmm. But not me. The product but not the inventor.

Phil: But are we to thank you?

God: Thank me? For what? For what I have done for you? But not know who or what you are thanking?

Phil: Does it sound odd?

God: A little. Might I have a moment alone?

Phil: Certainly.

Phil walks over to where Tom is standing, Jen Kissing Thom Passionately, God looks likes talking to someone, then sips his drink quietly. As Thom Phil is there and pushes Jen of of him

Phil: Tom, you don't believe that God is right there do you.

Tom: Oh he's here. He resides in our churches and cathedrals and in our hearts. He's all around us. Watching, judging every moment of our existence.

Phil: So, you don't believe that he could come to earth and talk to us?

Tom: If he did, who would believe him? Unless he turned the sky into fire, and the world to salt. He would show the power of who he is.

Jen: Yea right, he's right!

Stage Darkens, spotlight on Phil. Who walks to the front of the stage. Rhon walks over to God. And you can see them starting a deep debate. Can only see actions no words

Phil: Well, I do. We've made him human. Sometimes some of us; If we care at all to look outside of ourselves for answers. But then, most of us are too busy for that anyway. Doesn't it seem that the stranger things get the more willing we are to accept them? The tabloids draw our eyes their stands at the grocery stores. Tweets build fear. Facebook isolates us. We don't know how to be friends anymore. The news that people have won millions in a lottery, keeping us buying and wanting and hoping that in someway or some how our number will come up and we will finally win. We have lost faith in anything tangible. And as we lose faith we begin believing more and more in things, like televangelists, products that will make us beautiful. People that lie to us and we want them too. Trying to be perfect trying each to be a God in our own right, hoping one more person will push the like button to make us closer to perfection. We have created a God so far from who he is here in my living room, that we can't even see who he is now. Or understand. No one has direct recourse to the Lord.

Lights come back on and Rhon Is beside God. Phil walks over in mid-conversation.

Rhon: So, you see what I mean? No, no seriously, if we live in a multi-dimensional universe. The introduction of infinity proves that a God could not exist in this wider sense of multiple infinitives of north, east, west, south, up and down. Time, God. Time could not exist if God does. What we have is a world within which we are attempting to link existing things, things we can touch and see. Like this glass of wine. Holds up glass of wine Like wise cannot see, like time, or infinity, or God. And that makes sense. Doesn't it?

God: You cannot multiply infinity times infinity, then interject variables with an earthly construct. Quantifying the equation and expect there to be a big equal sign n the end. Counting things out on his fingers

Phil: So then we made God. We made God for the answer to these questions?

God: Yes, that is entirely possible. The world spinning in infinity without a leader, without a God. So, there is no God. No, wait a moment... There is Dammit you guys, I'm God.

Phil, and Rhon Snicker At God for a moment Tom walks over near the end of god speaking

Tom: Extending his hand Right then, God I'm Moses. Would love to talk to you a little longer but there's Sea somewhere that needs to be parted. Tom walks off laughing

Phil: You could have said something.

God: I don't bother with his type. He has his own perception of who I am, what I do. I could do anything I wish to him, but he's still going to be looking for a bloody tear to come off of some manikins face or a bush to spontaneously combust. It's easier to let him live his life. Let him live simply. Than show him the truth of who I am. Like I said before the message has been lost in time. The ultimate telephone game.

Phil: So the faithful are wrong?

God: Hand to chin No, not wrong. But blind faith in anything will get you killed.

End of Act I

Act II

TV is on. Rhon Flicks remote begins to press buttons. God remains sitting munching on pigs on a blanket and sipping on his drink

TV: In Syria today, UN troops are gaining access to previously un... On highway 7 today at 2:00am just east of Peterborough, Five teens driving what is believed in excessive speed crashed into a tree. Alcohol may have been a factor. All Five teens... For only $29.99 plus shipping and handling. That's right Greg, we pay the shipping and handling this time. What Fran We do?... It's generally our notion that, upon discovering his men bogged down in heavy snow of a Russian winter. Napoleon chose, against the wishes of his commanding officers and advisors, to continue on, but what was he expecting to find in Russia that... Show me the way to go home, everybody now, I'm tired and wanna go to bed.

Phil: Hey Rhon turn up the music, turn that thing down. More party man.

Martha while walking across the room, takes the remote from Rhon and places it back on the TV, music plays softly in the background

Martha: What is it I have to do to live a good life? Sorry to bother you, I really am, but I have been asking myself this question for so long now and I need to know the answer.

God: Slow, steady, psychiatrists voice Need. Need as a word, if I am correct, normally signals something which, were one to not receive it, one might very well die? Well, will you die if you do not receive an answer, Martha?

Martha: Looking at the couch, running her finger up and down the seam of the arm rest I suppose not. But will I be allowed into heaven?

Phil: Wanders over and sits beside Martha Yes, is there a heaven? I've always wondered that myself.

God: Well, a while ago I rented this warehouse location on Roosevelt Island and now we get those souls packed in there nice and tight.

Martha: What!?!

God: Giggling No, Martha I'm kidding. I'll have to leave that up to your imagination. But yes to live a good life Martha. I will tell you a secret Motions for her to come closer Rubber bands. You must collect more rubber bands.

Martha nods her head and stands, when she passes the TV, there is an elastic on it and she takes it

God: Turns to Phil I've realized over time I'm not that good with people, Phil. I often forget how ridiculously low their sense of humour is.

Dr. Segal: At the kitchen Table But Club Monaco is the new big thing. Those Tight little tops that show off the ladies belly-rings. And the skin. Short, short, short. Legs, legs legs.

Zoe: Club Monaco? Like, whatever. I spend, like a thousand on a shirt I can wear it like forever. Club Monaco cost like Fifty bucks.

Dr. Segal: You could wear it forever? But do you?

Zoe: Guuuroossss, NEVER!

Dr. Segal: Nothing I like more than a woman in a tight sweater. Takes Corina's hand and smiles I really do appreciate the subtlety of a woman. I know that sounds hypocritical being a surgeon in the art of plastic. But to me seeing a beautiful angel filling a sweater, where a lot is left to the imagination...mmm...mmm

Corina: Sweaters! But they hide so much. They're so, regular. I mean, Like, I mean. They hide everything.

Dr. Segal: And there is beauty in that, isn't there? In the unknown about another person?

Zoe: No, there isn't. We should be able to judge people without talking to them.

Jen: Well, maybe if boobs are all you have then...

Zoe: Take that back! Waving her finger at Jen

Jen: Why do you immediately assume I am talking about you?

Zoe: Take it back! Jen: Well, it's true.

Zoe: You don't mean it. Take it back!

Jen: I do, and I won't!

Zoe: Why do you have to be such a bitch?

Jen: I just say what I know.

Zoe: Well maybe you should, like, think about keeping some of these things to yourself, do you know what I mean?

Jen: Honesty is a virtue. Right God? Looks across the room at God

Spot light falls on God, the rest of the room slips into slow-motion. God speaks to the audience

God: Petty disputes. What makes them think that I can solve their Problems? Who was it that said, all of your dealings with one another, your financial troubles, your social concerns, your love and loss of love take them to god. Send them my way. I can fix it. In the dead of night when you have just hung up the phone with the only person you ever believed you would be able to love. Who has just told you that you unfortunately are not the one for them. Well, yell to good old God. Tell him your troubles. You've driven your car into a wall because your high. Lying there in your own stupid pool of blood and cry out to God. Maybe God can turn back time, you'll think, maybe God is the answer here. Then while you're laying a hospital room, contemplating how ephemeral it all is, how absolutely tragic the world is. How horrible you have been treated, you will say, Why, God, why have you forsaken me? And I will tell you why. Because, dumb-ass you did it yourself. It was was your choice to smoke that joint and text. Not mine. And that person that convinces you to buy Bitcoin but at the last moment you bail.

God: They become rich and you don't. You can't blame them for your lack of courage. You wanting to play it safe. You make choices that dictate your future everyday. I'm not saying hardship won't happen for no reason now and then. Sure born into the wrong part of the world what choice do you have. But definitely you have a choice here. You already won the golden ring. You by being here in this moment of time in this place have won the lottery of life. Every opportunity is given to you. I look out for the ones that need it, the little people. Putting little angels on their shoulder... But these people are beyond my jurisdiction. They've made their own rules and now must live by them. Sorry to say.

Stage lights back up

Jen: I'm not saying that you are a bad person, Zoe. Just self-centred and.

Zoe: What? Self-centred and What? If you are having about of honesty here and all.

Tom: Simple.

Phil: Please stop it you guys.

Zoe: Simple! Simple! What do you mean by that?

Jen: Maybe more ignorant than simple, actually. I'd say. But that is not a bad thing. You just decided to live your life a different way. Different things are important to you.

Phil: No really guys please, my party come on don't be mean to each other. We can work this out.

Zoe: Pfff, like okay. What. The. Hell.

Dr. Segal: Laughing All I was saying is that I like a woman in a sweater. But if we're going to be talking like this well Jen, I mean, really, Pot, Kettle, Black. Hahaha

Zoe: Oh shut up you, you, you pimp.

Dr. Segal: Whooaa Hahaha. Pimp? Hahahah, let me explain to you what pimp is.

Zoe: Like, I know what a pimp is. And. And. Why are you all being so mean to me? Starts to cry

Jen: To Dr. Segal as she puts her hand on Zoe shoulder to support her What do you know about or anything you glorified sculptor!

Dr. Segal: I'll take that as a compliment. Hahaha

Zoe: What did I do wrong?

Jen: What is it that I said so wrong? Or awful? It's just the truth.

Tom: I wish this never started. Why can't you just keep your mouth shut? Why do you have to fight with everyone at every moment?

Phil: Guys, guys, my party remember?

Corina: I think my left Boob is bigger than the right one. Can anyone see this?

Rhon: Why can't we just get along people. It's the differences that separate us and we have to start finding common ground here. Common you guys.

Tom: That kind of attitude will get you beat up these days. Hahahaha

Dr. Segal: Softly There's more to life than looks.

Jen: And you would know.

Tom and Phil both start laughing

Liz: Guys what's going on?

Tom And Phil Still laughing

Jen, Zoe: what you you laughing at?

In the background Tammy is eating her Crab dip, standing alone. No one else is there after eating it she sits. She waves for help but no one notices. Then leans back and dies with her eyes open. Everyone is focused on Phil who is awkwardly laughing.

Phil: Ha, Ha, So here's a good one. This guy, he decides to have this party and, Hahaha, makes everything perfect for everyone. For his friends and then, ohh, here's a good one. The Lord almighty shows up and. Hahaha his friends start to fight with one another and Hahahaha, toss some drinks around and insult one another and then, hahahahaha.

Dr. Segal looks over at Tammy where she is slumped over eyes open, as Phil has his break down. He walks over puts his ear to her mouth and listens for a moment. Picks up her arm and checks for a pulse. Stage goes dark and the spotlight focuses on God. God put his drink down and shakes his head

God: This isn't going to be pretty. Lights come up full on the stage

Dr. Segal: Tammy's dead! He shouts out to everyone.

Everyone: Dead?

Dr. Segal: Dead!

Everyone: Dead?

Dr. Segal: Dead!

Phil: How?

Dr. Segal: Dead!

Rhon: No, How?

Dr. Segal: Shrugs his shoulders Might have been something she ate.

Zoe: I told her to go on a diet!

Everyone glares at her still in shock.

Phil: And then, here's the punch line. I mean get this one, It's better than three guys walk-into a bar. A priest, a mime and a drunk Irish man. Or the one about guy and his neighbour wife? Which is a good one. A real good one. This one is better. This guy, see, he throws a party and wants everything to be perfect. But then God shows up and his friends fight and argue. And then, here it is, here's the big one, the clincher. The old whoompa! One of his guests Dies. DIES hahahahahahah

God: As he eats the crab dip and other things It was the crab Dip. I guess I could have mentioned that but then I got this scotch and got into these conversations and then the ladies here started fighting with one another.

Rhon: You couldn't have mentioned this? I mean really God. Come on.

Phil: I let you into my house. For the party.

Zoe: She was my friend.

Tom: I can still remember our night together. Walks over to Tammy strokes her hair

Dr. Segal: No leave her be.

Everyone sits down at the table then ignores that Tammy in dead. Someone pushes the Crab dip to the end of the table. The stages darkens slightly Music in the background. Death walks in touches Tammy on the arm and she pops up fully animated, Stands and tests out here new body. She seems stronger, more confident, both move to the back of the table and seem in a good happy conversation

Jen: Wait! What night with her? Thom? I introduced you to her. So if you did anything with her I'll Frig'in lose it I swear to God!

God Perks up and looks at them points to himself questioningly

Tom: Aww, Tammy. I feel so betrayed. Jen How could you think this?

Zoe: Like, Serves you right.

Tom: Oh shut it Zoe!

Phil: My party.

Rhon: You couldn't have mentioned this? You're God for Christ sake. You didn't get around to mentioning that the Crab dip was going to kill our friend?

God: Well, I knew the possibility was there that it could maybe, kill her. But things can always go one of two ways.

Zoe: Like, whatever. IF you're God, I'm Marilyn Monroe.

Tom: And I'm Moses.

Jen: And I'm Princess Di.

Zoe: That's pretty Tasteless.

Jen: What do you know about taste?

Tom: Name one Tchaikovsky Symphony.

Zoe: Who? Me or her?

Tom: Either of you. And at the same time points to God Prove you are who you say you are. Prove you're God. Let's get it all figured out here. All the cards on the table.

Phil: No, no, please don't make him prove anything. The elephant and the destry what's left of my party. And. Oh, please just don't make him prove anything.

With a big pause, everyone's attention is focused on God he sighs and gets ready to speak

God: This girl has an unlucky life and I get the blame when she dies? I didn't make the dip. I didn't make the crab dip with old eggs and old crabs. I didn't take it from the plate and stick it in Tammy's mouth. But I get the blame? See that's what I have been talking about. You all think that I have something to do with this.

Tom: Well, you do have the ultimate control over everything. Right? That's the deal. Your job description. Right? Or will you just admit now you aren't God.

Phil: Gone, deceased, dead hands flutter in the shape of a bird. Taking off above his head an at my party. The party I have been planning for over two weeks.

Rhon: Oh sweet-Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ Phil. Shut up about the damn party. We get it, we know, but right now things have gone a little sideways here and we have bigger things to think about that that right now.

God: There. There is my flaw. Snaps his fingers and points My cosmic joke, my point of break or my cracked vase. You little buggers can only think yourself. Yourself and how you can be better than one another. But, in the end, just yourself. Yourself first and last. Start, middle and end, me, me, me. Do you know how I got here today? I took the subway. While I was standing there on the platform, a woman named Patricia Barker, was severely depressed. Believing the world was to much for her. She was so desperate, to much pain to speak of. Decided to remove her and her child from it. The world that is. Remove herself completely. By jumping , child in arms, in front of a oncoming subway. I was the blind black beggar at the station. You want me to help? Well it's not my job!

Martha: That's awful.

God smiles sadly at Martha

God: But this woman beside me, Three piece suit, a couple grand worth of jewellery, late for a business meeting as it was. She began to complain. Complain that she was going to be even later for this meeting. Huffing and puffing. That it would change her world. That it would make more and more money. “Screw this stupid woman, who is dressed like a street person.” She said aloud. Decides to jump in front of a train, I mean come on people, you want to know everything in the world there is to know? Life on mars, eternal happiness, the perfect orgasm, long life and maybe inner peace? Well, compassion is a good start. Compassion and empathy is a damn fine start actually.

Phil: And then my guests piss off God.

Death makes her way to Tammy stands beside her and Tammy instantly comes to life. they talk but know one notices as all focus is on God. Death waves hello to God, God nodded in acknowledgement

Liz: God: are you okay?

God: Runs his hands over his face I'm sorry. You are no more to blame than anyone else. But you must understand that it is all about free will. And that is going to shock you all. I mean, especially Tom there who actually believes in me.

Tom: Looking sheepish and acting defensive I believe in God, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you my friend are not HIM!

God: You are a rarity these days. But no one really has it wrong. Well, except for the Scientologist. They are way out in left field. Anyway I created the earth, and it was good. I created the plants, the sea, the sky, it was all good. Good. Put animals in the mix nice batch of insects all life. Then I got tired or maybe bored I can't remember. So I set the program in motion, a basic free will if you like. It was good. I went away for awhile and I came back and what do I see. It was no longer good. Yu'all screwed it it up. Yu'all forgot a few things changed a few things. But yu'all had yer purposes to fulfill. And and yu'all don't like it. Then you have someone like Tammy here who, tonight, has fulfilled her duties. Who's free-will has brought her to this. And this.

Lights focus on Death and Tammy

Phil: Who is this?

God: Death.

Rhon: This old lady is Death?

Death blows her nose and fixes her glasses and smiles a big smile Tammy Appears beside Death. The rest of the cast realize shes alive and standing

Rhon: Oh my God, It's Tammy!

The rest are shocked

Liz: Tammy I thought you died?

Tammy: I think I did.

Phil: Wait I thought she died!

Tom: I told you she wasn't dead.

Corina: Tammy Come here, with us.

Death: No folks we need her with us.

Phil: Then Death shows up. What a party!

God: Yes, Gladice here is Death and she does a damn fine job of it to. Don't you Gladice. He raises his glass to Death

Death: I try.

God: You've been with me for what? Two, three generations?

Death: Going on four, God.

God: Elected by a body of her peers each time. And she still loves the lot of you.

Death: I do, I truly do.

God: With birth out of the way, and Death taking care of business. I have so much time on my hands. Thank you Gladice.

Death: No Thank you God.

Dr. Segal: Sounds reasonable to me.

Rhon: But can't you stop Death?

God: Sure, why not. Throw a stick in the spokes of history. Why not? But it's none of my business, now is it.

Rhon: What if we found a good reason?

God: Ahh a salesman. Great, perfect. Hit me with your best pitch, Mr. Lowman.

Rhon: Can I discuss this with my friends?

God: Certainly, By all means, take your time.

God rises from his seat with a grunt and joins Death and Tammy behind the table. The rest go join Phil on the couch

Rhon: What are we going to say?

Liz: Tell him Tammy's life was horrible and that she deserves a break.

Jen: Tell him that we could trade some of Corina's hair for Tammy. Or a leg. What are your legs insured for now Corina? Three, four hundred thousand.

Corina: Like shut up!

Rhon: Or maybe we could just bribe death?

Dr. Segal: Cheat him, lie to him, bribe him. Sure, what the hell, hahaha. The whole shebang. Bring her to her knees in negotiation. Tie her up in litigation. Appeal her rulings then jump bail with our Tammy in hand. Hahahah.

Liz, Rhon, Zoe Tom: Shut up Segal.

Jen: To Tom You shut up.

Tom: To Jen No you shut up.

Jen: Why do I hate you so much?

Tom: Talking through clenched teeth Why must I talk through clenched teeth whenever I talk to you?

Jen: Why...

Tom: If only...

The two of them lean into one another and start kissing

Phil: Two weeks. Two weeks I planned...

Liz: This is never going to work.

Rhon: We will have to make this work, figure out some loophole never thought of.

The group come together heads close like they are making plans hands waving and pointing. Death, God and Tammy seem to be in a deep conversation as well. Pointing to the other group. Lights start to fade as music plays up.

End Of Act II

Act III

On one side of the table is God, Tammy and death. God and death standing on either side of Tammy who is sitting in the middle seat.. On the other side Tom, Phil, Liz, Rhon and Corina standing. Jen and Tom have moved to the couch and pawing each other. The TV playing old family 8mm home movies in silent mode.

God: I see you have a couple of non-players on your side. Gestures at Jen and Tom Never-the-less, we should do this properly. Everyone, this is Death, Gladice. God points as he introduces each one to Death. This is Rhon, Liz, Zoe, and Corina, Phil and Martha. Oh of course you, know Dr. Segal.

Dr. Segal moves across stage towards Death. He sticks his hand out to shake her hand then pulls it away

Death: Yes, Dr. Segal, I know your work well. Rhon, a Lovely boy, Liz. Liz there are some pianos in the great beyond that you will simply love.

Tammy: To Liz Sorry I didn't get to talk to you tonight, but that CD you loaned me is on the cabinet by my bed. You can get it back whenever...

Liz: Aren't you scared?

Zoe: Like of course she's scared. I mean, She's like dead.

Corina: I'm not sure I understand all this.

Dr. Segal: You don't have too, dear.

Tammy: Actually, I'm not scared. Death told me about where I am going and everything and it sounds nice. And I did put on clean underwear today so we can take the express route. Anyway, I had a huge Visa Bill. Hehe. So all is good.

Dr. Segal: Hahahaha Good one.

Rhon: Coughs into his hand Ummmm.

God: Yes, yes, our salesman. Gladice, these young people would like to discuss the removal of their friend from this earthly plane. If that would be ok with you.

Death: Checking her wrist watch We really haven't the time. I wish we did.

Liz: Yelling I don't think its fair you are taking Tammy.

Zoe: Yeah, Like her life sucked and you're, like taking it away from her early and it's wrong.

Dr. Segal: Well spoken.

Zoe: Go to hell.

Corina: Maybe I could do work or something.

Death: Now, now, my children.

Rhon: Okay. Let's take this back one step. Calmly, Calmly. Tammy is our life long friend, ok? Everyone nods. And she has had a pretty horrible life. If something could go wrong it would. By far the most unluckiest person I have ever known. It was like watching someone being tortured slowly. There has to be a better way to do this this ending I mean.

Tammy: Well, it did have its moments.

Rhon: But it wasn't that great. I mean, your parents, your living conditions, your poor, poor luck.

Tammy: You make it sound like I should be happy to be dead.

God beams a big smile

God: You're losing your defendant.

Rhon: Tammy I don't mean it the way you think. What I mean is you deserve to have a little luck fall your way. A chance to turn it around a second chance. And bottom line Tammy we want you with us.

Tammy: I kind of like this dead thing. It's tingly.

Rhon: Tingly?

Phil: Why did she have to die at my party though?

Death: It's that easy isn't it? Someone snaps their fingers and someone is dead. There is no research in this no analysis. My team of professionals...

Phil: Phhhhh

Death: Who work very hard.

Phil: Phhhhhhh

Death: Very hard to get everything organized. Okay what is it Phil? Is there something you would like to tell us? What is it?

Phil: Absurd!

Death: Absurd?

Phil: Does no one else find this absurd?

Death: There is nothing absurd about this, young man. This is a very serious business. Where is he going?

Phil moves away towards the TV and just stares at it.

Tammy: Listen you guys, I don't know why this happened, well I do it was the Crab, but what I mean is this is bigger than me. More important than all of us. I feel like This means something and what I thought was bad luck or sadness or even loneliness, was teaching me something that I needed to learn. I may not understand all the nuances but I feel like for the first time. What I do matters. If you think about it, I will get to see my mom and dad, right Gladice? Gladice Nods her head yes and to me that's a greater gift than anything I have here right now at this time.

God: Okay folks, time to jump in for a bit here. What I want to mention is that what you are forgetting is that Tammy does not have a choice. Her life was designed this way for a purpose. It was all to teach her for the moments to come. She was being trained to take over for Death. In time she will have the compassion and the grace to help people cross over. Her training started before she was born. Everything she needed to be was planned out every second in time. Tammy nods like she understands and accepts this idea with a smile.

Rhon: What about free-will. You were pretty hip on that before.

God: It's all part of a system. Systems do not change at the drop of a hat. Everything has a function to the overall purpose.

Dr. Segal: Devil's advocate here for a second. You tell us all about you, the almighty, your work. Ect, ect. Then you introduce us to you organizational skills. Aka this free-will deal. What, in effect, is a program set in motion to do your work for you while you were elsewhere. Taking a nap and such. Correct? Right, then you introduce us to Gladice who you inform us, is part of a system as well. You can't believe in two systems of thought. You either believe in free-will or fate. Both can't exist. And, whoa is it just me or are there some things here that no longer make any sense?

God: This is getting out of hand. I know I made the rules, but I made them a long time ago and now I cannot recall the sensibility behind them all right now. Searching his pockets

Rhon: You're contradicting yourself now.

Dr. Segal: Now I was never a lawyer but I did go out for Law school before I became a doctor and I must say that...

God: Giving a stern look finger up Tammy serves a better purpose dead than alive.

Dr. Segal, Rhon, Liz, Zoe, Corina, Thom, all at once, after a slight pause, say But, Then fire questions fast then they pair of slowly mock talking to each other

Rhon: An infinite universe. Indeed, But what if is flat? And what if something created it which we can't even fathom. Something outside of cumulative reality than the God we know? Of even stranger what if we are just senescence stuck on an event horizon. On the edge of a Black hole? Existing only for a nano-second, but time being relative we exist for trillions of years before our reality is destroyed by another dimension. An mathematical nominally. Mistake by happenstance.

Steps aside

Liz: There is so much beauty in the world. But there is so much hatred and violence. How can I believe or not believe?

Zoe: Do we need to know?

Corina: If there is a god, and I’m a saying if, what will it think of us? We inject plastics into ourselves, we pierce our bodies and we plaster them with ink. We shave off bits here, suck out fat there. We don't consider ourselves or others in eight out of ten actions. Or we don't care. I can't believe because too many of us don't seem to care.

Tom: From the couch, unattached himself from Jen For the moment my belief is strong.

Jen: My will is strong.

Phil: I believe. How could I not. But it's like my party. God created this thing, this world, these existences, and then everyone ruined it on him.

God: Stop! Silence!

Lights strumming in the background all actors go to speak but find they cannot, they open and close their mouths like fish on land, god does circles at the centre of the stage like he's in deep thought and concern

God: I came here with the idea of teaching, showing people the problems which exist and possible solutions. And, again, to prove some things to myself. I mean, I had that Job fellow awhile ago, but what did that prove? You need to keep testing and testing and testing till you find a weak spot. The spots where the light gets in and you patch them up. You make them stronger. You make them better. Thicker, Darker, more resilient. But I wasn't expecting all these questions. Or all these people with all these problems. All self-centred, petty little people have confused me. I mean, what am I supposed to do with them? What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say?

Lights have a soft dim not full, spot light on God, he walks to the front of the stage puts his hands to cover his eyebrows to look out to the audience, to stop the glare.

God: Rhon, Rhon Grenon. Are you out there?

Out in the audience is the director of the play Rhon Grenon. On each side of hims is an AD cute with pens in her hair and a clipboard. On the other is a model like woman Possible Girlfriend. Super classy, snobbish air about her.

Rhon: Right here God.

Rhon the actor on the stage pipes up and God turns around to answer him then turns back into the light searching the audience.

God: Not you, you fool. You're not even real.

Phil: What does he mean you're not real? You've come here and really ruined my party. You've drank my wine, filled yourself with my Doritos.

Rhon: Yeah, I ate his Doritos. I'm real.

God: SHHHH! None of you are real. Rhon I know you're out there!

Rhon G: Yes God what's up? Stands up

God: What is going on here Rhon? Apparently I am God And have ultimate control over the universe. Right? I don't get it, where were you going with this?

Rhon G: I was trying to show ideals and obedience with conformity and such do not necessary guarantee a good life. Or a good afterlife, whatever the case may be.

Rhon: Who are you?

All the cast walks to the front of the stage, stay in character, they stand beside God. Do what you thin your character would do but silently

Rhon G: I'm you but real. Look forget it.

Rhon: He's telling me to forget it. Gestures to the other actors Forget it, he's me, But real. No problem, right, Rhon No problem.

Rhon G and God: Please be quiet. Timing Is very important here they must say it together perfectly

God: Rhon, what are you going to do about this play? It has seemed that it has spiralled out of control.

Rhon G: Well, I had a god handle on what was going on until people started shouting at one another. But that was all planned, in away, as it was, but now…

Jen removers herself from Tom walks to the forefront to face Rhon G.

Jen: So, You're God? This is our friend Rhon, And this guy here points to the Rhon G is the real Rhon who created us all and, of course, we are all just characters in a play? Well, then none of this would matter... That's it I'm leaving, are you coming Tom.

Tom: I, I don't think so Jen. No, Not this time.

Jen: Looking angry Fine! Have it your way. I'm sick of you and this dumb group anyway. And just so you know I'm glad this is over. I wanted to end it a long time ago Tom. So screw you!

Jen runs to the front of the stage jumps of and storms of through the audience and out the back door

Rhon G: Calm down everyone. It's okay. She can go. I wrote that scene in to get her to leave. I wasn't a big fan of her character anyway. I think I wrote her to pushy. That's why she gets hit by a car now.

From the back of the theatre doors open, you hear the long screeching of tires and a hard body thump. Hit by car, Out back have a team of make -up artist ready to bandage her hun give her bruising and deep wounds.

Tom: WHAT?? NOOO, NOT JEN!! Runs after her in hysterical After Tom leaves out the back

Rhon G: See, now he's all distraught and horrified. Now he has real emotions. Now he feels.

God: Is that what this is all about then?

Zoe: Okay. Like, what was that? I'm bored and confused and freaked right out and I have things to do tomorrow, I wanna leave too.

Rhon G: No, Zoe you still have a love interest. And what is this all about? This is all about Said quickly The conceptual reality within the confines of a subversive universe, will only express the complex level of benevolence that a higher manifestation of God Transfers. But we colour our realities in deep conjecture of patronizing subtle passions. I created you, God, with a reality which transgresses all boundaries. There is no logical process or grounds of functionality that readies the mind in a state of perpetual grandeur. With willingness to explore we touch the spiritual bond of life and we express as well as experience the differences that enumerate the belief of something bigger than we are.

God: Uh-huh.

Pause

Zoe: Like really, A love interest? For real? Okay I'll stay.

She sits on the edge of the stage looks out pick a cute none actor in audience and flirt with the person. Try to convince him/ her to come and chat and eventually on stage. At this point the food crew will start to move food in slowly and quietly on the side of the audience

Rhon: It wouldn't actually be for real though would it? If we are just actors and all in a play?

Rhon G: Don't get bitter now Rhon, whos to say what is real and what instinct. How do you know if I'm just and actor playing a part in a bigger play or reality. It could be endless.

Rhon: I have my own mind. I am real.

Rhon G: I can prove you're not.

God: Here we go.

Rhon: Okay, Go ahead.

Rhon G: Think of a Number between zero and one hundred.

Rhon: Okay got it.

Rhon G: Forty-two

Rhon: Uh-uh... No. uh.

Rhon G: Yes it was.

Rhon: Clenching his teeth as he says it Fine it was!

Rhon G: Go sit down big boy.

Rhon G and Rhon Sit down at the same time in the same pose.

Rhon G: Carry on with the play now. We'll talk , After the show.

*** Ref. 58 PG

God: Wait. So if you created me then I am not god?

Rhon G: That's not true at all. God is the ultimate power in the universe according to some. I can't Create God. Only God Can create God if God even exists. Which I can't prove... or disprove. I just wanted to challenge people's thinking. That's all. People are so damn set in there ways sometimes. I mean, don't people want to see different things? Different views? Visit a concept they never experienced before? Life is about experience and all the times we can see things differently, added to a whole of who we become.

Zoe should at this point should have dragged someone up to stage to come and get food. Other audience plants should be making there way up trying to bring someone with them

God: So I am God.

Rhon G: Yes

Phil: I want you to know mister, whoever you are. Pointing to Rhon G in the audience That I know who I am and I am not a character in a play. I am a man who spent a great deal of time putting together a party which has been, for all intensive purposes. The cast Laughs at him I have parents and a pet, and a woman here who... more laughter What are you guys laughing at?

Rhon G: Look Phil. None of this, is in the play. Now I put a lot of time into this play and would really appreciate it if you would, you know, follow the script.

Phil Stares out into the audience. The light goes to his eyes as god turns back to the party. Phil stares for a moment then turns around and sits back down at the table. With his head in his hands he yells

Phil: LINE!

Guy with a cue-card steps out from the side and shows it to Phil so the audience can see it

Cue-card guy: So you are the creator of the universe then. And this is all a joke.

Phil: In a tired and defeated voice So you are the creator of the universe, God. And all this is an elaborate joke and laughs hard and long But me, I've been planning this party for weeks now and nobody seems to care.

God: No Phil It's all real. You've done a great job. But I think that maybe this is what I've worried about all this time. I guess the world is doing ok and As the side tables of food and drink get placed food crew get slightly louder, not as careful. Talking saying is it ready improve at this point. Ask people closest if they want a drink or a bit to come and get it. Actors on stage will have to compensate at this point that people do look out for one another every so often and that in the long run will all do fine. Right Rhon?

Rhon: What's this God?

God: Not you. Quiet voice Rhon. Rhon Grenon. I'm a little worried. I'm a little scared how does this all end?

Silence from the audience

God: Softly Mr. G? How does this all end? The party.

Rhon G: Louder God, we can't hear you!

God: How does this all end?

God pauses no one says anything, makes his way slowly with Tammy and Death. They all leave out the front door

Phil: What was that?

Rhon: Huh?

Liz: Where were we?

Zoe: What was that?

Dr. Segal: We have just witnessed something miraculous.

Rhon: What was it?

Liz: Yes, what ?

Phil: It's a pretty good party, isn't it?

Rhon: I've had a blast.

Liz: Are we purposefully not talking about God being here?

Phil: Who?

Rhon: Who?

Zoe: Who?

Dr. Segal: Who?

Liz: Okay. Who?

Phil: Much better. Welcome to my party. There are more people to come, I welcome you all with open arms. I think. We'll just wait and see what happens next.

Party Continues this will grow from page 58 any free hands will join on stage at this point and help pull friends and family up or to tables on the side lights will finally rise full in the audience. But will happen slowly from page 58. so subtle you cant notice it should take about 7 minutes till full. All Chartres even ones that left will come back and join in the fun. Make small talk, engage people full talking now, normal voice. Some will dance and lots of laughter. Create a real party. The goal is to make an amazing transition into real life., the goal is to have no one clap no ending to the play. All behind the scene crews will join now eat, talk about the play enjoy the success of what has happened and let go of the reality that has been created. If we do this right we will blur the lines and will give the audience an experience of a lifetime. Thank you for all your hard work and bask in the wonderful thing you have created

One last thing as the music plays God will read “New.” As long as he wants. A key style writing that challenges the way you think. Join the party when the timing is right for you

God: It isn't love, but it is better than nothing. As monsters run wild inside of me. I can feel your soul. But the question is. If dimensional shifts are a real construct of a multi-verse, and all possibilities are real. Then it lends itself not only to experience all aspects of love and loss. But as prophets say, to be everyone in every situation and experience all realities. Maybe the true nature of love is the sadness of what we already know to be true. And that is to hold on to hope. That in this moment of fleeting desire we seek it to be different than all realities that we have witnessed before. Or maybe it's just dumb luck, and being stupid with the choices we make that end up breaking the continuity necessary to find that one willing to work as hard as you do to make love last...

Is that the meaning of existence?

Do you think I can see your soul?

Do we choose what to forget?

Are you the answer to the question I have asked all my life?

Forgotten along the way no place is safe for us to lay our weary head. Two hearts beating. Is this all we know? I tell you now we are not ready for the truth. As far as I can tell we hide from what is offered all around us. Every part of the world is angry at what is to come. But high with our heads in the sand as a fee is paid to crazy... Raise the Goddamn alarm, both middle fingers raising to the sky. One question we haven't been able to answer yet is how do we break the chains of capitalistic greed? Enslaving all that buy into a system of empty promises and high hopes. Since when do we allow corporations to decide in the matters of love, freedom, free-will, ideas, health, science, passions, morals, values, environment and life? A marketing wet dream of sheeple walking doe eyed into the grinder. Homogenized pale realities swallowing one red pill at a time. Laughing the whole way loudly, blinders on, crying inside, screaming for sweet release. How can I explain the infinite to you if we can't grasp the lack of survival we seem to adapted to without a touch of nature.

Feather touches the mind of entropy, brushing utopia around the corner. Ideas and ideals brought forth by constant thoughts hell bent on saving humanity. As the masses fight tooth and nail to destroy all that we know. A collective autistic nature, allowing institutions to lead us down a path of paranoia and greed. Selling phantom pocket ringtones, created in the cerebral cortex a basic animal instinct to be sold bought controlled keeping us further from our true self. Keeping us yearning for connection, even if its forgotten in the depths of time. Warning signs of cold nights to keeps us safe and alive. Are we getting better generation after generation? Right now we seem to collectively want a reset but don't know how to accomplish this task. A hard reboot. But the system has grown past anyone's self control. We hope that religion will guide us to the next time. Laughing that this is the start of the road to ruin. Fulfilling the prophecy that we decided long ago that we do not want to be here any longer.

How is it possible that the masses have decided this delusional state of mind? Willing to challenge life itself to its very core. Does cancer know of its existence? Manipulation of idol passive conquests. Steer us into non-reality voids. Painting colour apon colour. As our perception gives way to chaos. Disintegrating terror gives us hope that we are not sheep that we really are. Safety in anxiety of a world gone mad, we have watch all empires fall.

Wheels grinding , screeching and folding as humanity is perforated into bite size portions. Fed miss-information, lies and miss-steps. Taking us to the brink of loss.

Two minutes to twelve...

Extinction grows closer…

Pockets of us see a clear path a picture if you will. How to wake us up to survive. Answering questions on how to build on what has been destroyed. The more we hold on to our own reality and try to control it. The more we lose control of the awesome nature that life it self has to offer. We have to start to understand our nature. The will to feel what is real all around us. Seeking those moments of clarity wrapped in a soft blanket and a warm hot chocolate. Mother is coming folks. She is waking up. She will set us straight once again. On a paths of balance one way or another she will show us what her truest self is. Holding our hand like impetuous children we are. Time out, nose in the corner, looking over our shoulder waiting for the punishment to end. But my dear reader/ listener. I paint an easy picture in your head. If we pick our fight now...

If we wait. We will see the witch rise and all hell will break loose. A wash of fury that not one human in the existence of humanity has ever seen. It will be a cleansing like no other. There will be no record to keep. Now idols to worship. Not one person will be safe. Some may survive, some may even grow. But not like now. Time will have wiped the memories clean. You know I'm right. Think about it my friend. Inside you is the actual light of the universe longing to know itself.

It isn't love, but it is better than nothing. As monsters run wild inside of me. I can feel your soul. But the question is. If dimensional shifts are a real construct of a multi-verse, and all possibilities are real. Then it lends itself not only to experience all aspects of love and loss. But as prophets say, to be everyone in every situation and experience all realities. Maybe the true nature of love is the sadness of what we already know to be true. And that is to hold on to hope. That in this moment of fleeting desire we seek it to be different than all realities that we have witnessed before. I once heard, dreaming of what the world has taught me about love. Soothing complex fears wrapped in a neatly, tight, red ribbon. In that vision of truth. Don't ever question the deep burden I carry for you. My passion for you encompasses all. Let the dimensions cry for sweet release. It has given us the only way we can be who we need to be. Can it be as simple as you expect it to be? Passions remembered. Never giving up, never willing to fall. Making sure that all left behind will learn the lesson of true love. Beyond all expectations, beyond all hope. It isn't love, but it is better than nothing. I once heard. Dreaming of what the world has taught me about love. As monsters run wild inside of me. Soothing complex fears wrapped in a neatly, tight, red ribbon. I can feel your soul. In that vision of truth. But the question is. Don't ever question the deep burden I carry for you. If dimensional shifts are a real construct of a multiverse, My passion for you encompasses all. And all possibilities are real. Let the dimensions cry for sweet release. Then it lends itself not only to experience all aspects of love and loss. It has given us the only way we can be who we need to be. But as prophets say, to be everyone in every situation and experience all realities. Can it be as simple as you expect it to be? Maybe the true nature of love is the sadness of what we already know to be true. Passions remembered. And that is to hold on to hope. Never giving up, never willing to fail. That in this moment of fleeting desire we seek it to be different than all realities that we have witnessed before. Making sure that all left behind will learn the lesson of true love. We are the grandest illusion ever created. Beyond all expectations, beyond all hope. Stepped in, time is up, here we go! Feel the wind on your face, the sun in your eyes. Blue all around you. Paradise found.

#god #playwriting #play

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