#joel miller deserves happiness

[nev3rfound]

here with you : j.m

something a bit different, my love for pedro is only growing and this series is breaking my heart.

sweet night in with joel, pre apocolypse. (established relationship between joel x fem reader) 1.2k

lotta fluff (cause this man deserves it), implied smut but not explicit, no spoilers for tlou. 

Sitting on the sofa, your eyes wandered over to the clock. It’s already gone 8.

With a sigh, you rearrange the couch cushions, nestling yourself in as you change the channels knowing you’re in for a late one tonight.

A few hours pass by the time you hear his truck pull up outside, catching the reflection of the headlights dimming in the glass frames of photos lining the wall.

The door quietly opens and closes, of course, he’d be conscious of waking you, hell, he’s had plenty of practice. “Wondered where you got to.” You call out, letting him know he doesn’t have to pace around silently or attempt to.

Joel chuckles to himself, hanging his jacket up on the crooked hook, and watches it slip off once again before trying to straighten the hook. "I gotta fix that damn thing."

Lifting your head up from the warm spot you formed on the sofa, a tired smile graces your lips. “You’re home.” With a sleep heavy voice, you lift your arms up, motioning for him to join.

"I told you not to be waiting up on me." Joel begins to walk toward you, each step heavier than the last which you can’t help but note. His eyes barely manage to remain open, and his usual half smile sinks.

“Come ere.” Tugging on his top, he almost collapses into you, muttering an exhausted apology. "What kept you this time then?" You ask, glancing down as you run your fingers through his greying brown tufts.

Joel groans under his breath, shuffling you both so you lay on your side, his hand cradles your back to keep you both on the sofa. "Tommy got the wrong part, had to fix three hours of framin'."

Chuckling under your breath, Joel furrows his brows at your response. "You really blaming your brother? Again?" You nudge him lightly, weening a hint of a grin from the man. "Anyway, Sarah rang whilst you were out."

You can feel Joel's grasp on you tense and explain. "She rang to say how much fun she was having, surprisin, I know. Half expected her to ring telling me she upset the poor girl for her stance on the new Britney album or something." Resting your hand on Joel's your fingers glide along the back of his hand, feeling the rough skin and splinters.

"Sounds like Sarah alright." Joel mumbles, tiredness now coaxing his voice.

With a heavy sigh, you roll yourself off of the sofa with a thud. “Come on,” Lifting your body up, you take a hold of Joel’s hand, tugging it lightly. “we’re going to bed, Miller.”

“Okay,” Joel yawns, sluggish movements following behind you up the stairs and into his room. “’least it’s Saturday tomorrow.” He rubs his eyes, flinching as you switch the bedside lamp on, illuminating your sweet smile.

“You know what that means?” You raise a brow teasingly.

“Oh, I think I got an idea.” He chuckles lowly before rushing to your side, tackling you onto his bed, and trapping you under his frame, listening to your laughter fill the room. “Breakfast in bed, right, sugar?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, urging him closer you lightly kiss him before answering. “And all the extras, just for you.”

“Now that sounds like heaven to me.” Joel mutters into your lips before kissing you once more and begins to run his fingers along your neck and down your chest whilst the other supports himself above you. “I gotta admit though, Saturday is a long time away.” You hum in agreement, mischievousness lacing your gaze.

“I mean, we might as well treat ourselves a little bit earlier than planned, no harm in that, right?” You shrug playfully.

Tugging on your trousers, Joel smiles to himself. “None whatsoever.” He adds, reaching over to turn the lamp off.

*

Daylight starts to filter through the blinds, daring to peek through the thin cotton curtains and splay across you both.

Joel is the first to wake, as per usual. He squints at the sunlight, shifting slightly only to find himself stuck.

Looking down, his gaze softens. You’re using his arm as a pillow, nestled into his chest lazily with one arm slung across his torso and the other curled into your own chest.

“Mornin’,” Joel whispers into your hair. With his free hand, he brushes your hair from your eyes and tucks it behind your ear.  

Having missed his whisper, Joel leans closer and brushes his lips across the top of your head. “Huh?” You mumble, curling up into the sheets, tugging them over your head. “Oh don’t tell me I hogged the bed again?” Tiredness laces your morning voice, but the sight of your sleepy smile warms Joel’s once cold heart.

“For once you’re good.” Joel tells you. “However, I could do with my arm back before it loses all feeling.” He wiggles it, catching your attention as you avert your gaze to the trapped limb in question.

With a swift movement, you’re kneeling upright and notice the indent you’ve left on his arm. “I better not have drooled on you.” You sigh. “I didn’t drool, did I?” You ask, feeling heat creeping up your neck as Joel simply looks at you. “Joel?”

Waving your hand in front of his face, he remains quiet, just taking this moment in for all it’s worth.

Lifting the dead weight, he can feel the tingles of sensation begin to course through.

“You didn’t drool, darlin.” Resting his functional arm, he cups your cheek which is slightly indented from leaning on his arm all night along with part of the pillow’s pattern.

“Then why you smilin’ like that?” Resting your hands on your hips in a playful fashion, Joel can’t help but feel his exterior soften further.

“If only you could see yourself in the mirror.” He shakes his head, tugging you back into his embrace. “So intimidating.” He feigns fear, watching your eyes roll into the back of your head and laugh dryly in response.

“So funny, Miller. Yet here we are, must’ve won you over somehow.” You remind him, now resting your head on the cool pillow as opposed to his arm.

Shuffling to be at level with you, words fail to form a valid response. He knows it’s true, somehow, you weaned your way into the rock he called a heart. With time, you chiseled away at it without realizing it. Every smile, laugh, and interaction he saw you have with Sarah and Tommy. He didn’t realise the concrete lacing his veins slowly began to crack until he felt it pumping blood back through to his heart, hearing it beat once more.

“Yeah, whatever you say.” He comments, resting his hand on your cheek. What he wished he could say was so much deeper, the thought hovered in his mind, but the words failed to follow.

“Come on then,” You take his palm and kiss it before sitting upright and throwing back the covers. “got breakfast to make, handsome.”

Joel watches as you head out of the room and into the bathroom. He leans back in bed, taking it all in, the simplicity of it all and the joy it brings.

Feeling the full sensation now return to his arm, pins and needles having passed he too sits upright, realizing you’re worth all the pins and needles, as long as he gets to see you smile in the mornings.

[shooting-a-star-at-the-moon]

as a pedro pascal enthusiast i am both overjoyed and overwhelmed by the amount of content we’re getting 🥹

[merci-killing]

i want to pack joel and tommy’s lunches. joel acts annoyed that i insist on packing one for tommy too but the second one of their crew members on a job site makes a joke about their silly little matching lunches he jumps into defense mode “yeah it’s too bad you don’t have a woman who loves you enough to keep you and your little brother fed” and from that day on he loudly unpacks and eats all the cutesy little snacks i’ve sent and—

[softiedingo]

he deserves all the best things

[hotgirlbedtimescenarios]

Wish

For the first time in years Joel acknowledges his birthday and wishes on a star. He gets pulled into the past and relives his birthday, the day that changed everything.

Words: 1.7k+

Warnings: all of the emotions. Sadness, depression, but also happy moments and hopefulness :)

*part of @burntheedges roll-a-trope challenge*

Main Masterlist

---

September 25, 2033

It’s almost Joel’s birthday. Again.

Over the years, he’d let it pass without thinking about it. Losing track of the days was easy while he roamed, too caught up in trying to survive.

But now, in Jackson, time isn’t as elusive. Joel wakes up knowing that Mondays and Tuesdays are for patrolling, Wednesdays and Thursdays are for guard duty, Fridays are for helping with construction, and the weekends he keeps to himself.

The powers that be in Jackson also keep track of time, mostly for crop rotation and organizing the seasons, giving structure to the lives of its citizens. That means Joel has been aware of his birthday this year, creeping closer and bringing along memories he hates.

This year, he can’t live in blissful ignorance while it comes and goes, especially with Tommy around to remind everyone. So instead, he runs from it.

Joel walks down the soft, snowy streets of Jackson with his camping gear strapped to his back. He told Tommy he was going outside the walls tonight, making up some excuse about scouting a building that might have supplies to scavenge.

It was a lie.

Joel needed space—a place where he could wallow in solitude when the old feelings haunted him as his birthday approached.

With his gathered supplies, Joel mounts his favorite horse and rides out of the commune, waving to Tommy atop the lookout tower.

“See ya when you get back! And happy early birthday, big brother!” Tommy yells down.

Joel winces at the reminder and rides off into the distance.

---

Hours later, Joel makes his way to a familiar spot in the forest, a clearing he often visits while out on runs.

This hidden clearing, nestled deep among the trees and brush, is spacious enough for him to see the stars twinkling overhead while remaining safely concealed from any lurking dangers.

He sits by a small fire, eating his rations and gazing up at the night sky, lost in thought. He reflects on how he ended up here, all that he’s been through and all that he's done, dragging himself deeper and deeper into the pit of despair he so often finds himself drowning in.

Suddenly, something twinkles far above in the night sky, streaking across the tops of the tall oak trees.

A shooting star.

Joel had never seen one before; he had thought they had vanished like so many other pure wonders and good things in the universe. But tonight, he was wrong.

Unable to resist, Joel’s eyes follow the tiny, sparkling fragment as it glides across the sky. In that moment, he decides to be hopeful just one last time. After all, his birthday is approaching. Despite years of loathing it and skipping celebrations, maybe he deserves to make one wish.

As midnight strikes and the star falls, Joel closes his eyes and makes his wish.

He wishes to no longer hate this day. He longs to free himself from the burden of September 26th—the day he was born, but also the day he lost his reason for living, the day he lost Sarah. He wishes the memories of despair would lift from his shoulders, that things could have been different. That he could have cherished just one more birthday before everything fell apart and the world went to shit, giving him more good memories to hold onto and keep him company throughout the years.

When the shooting star fades from view and the sky darkens again, Joel feels a wave of silliness wash over him. Of course, his wish wouldn’t come true. With a sigh, he stamps out the fire, crawls into his sleeping bag, hand resting on his rifle, and drifts off to sleep.

---

September 26th 2003

Joel wakes to the sound of an alarm clock blaring.

He bolts upright, heart racing, and instinctively reaches for his gun—only to find nothing there.

As his vision clears, he realizes he’s not in his sleeping bag anymore. He’s in a bed—his bed—from thirty years ago.

Joel rubs his eyes, blinks, and even pinches himself, trying to shake off the dream, but it feels all too real.

Looking around his old room, everything is just as it was on the last day he lived there: rumpled sheets, a pile of dirty laundry in the corner, an old newspaper, and a glass of water on the bedside table.

It’s as if he’s been transported right back to 2003.

Warily, Joel gets out of bed and notices his joints don’t ache as they should. He races to the mirror attached to his dresser and takes in his features. He looks exactly as he did thirty years ago: fewer lines of age and worry, hair short and dark, no grey in sight, and far more muscular. There isn’t even a scar across his nose or temple.

Joel stares at himself in the mirror, breaths coming rapidly. It’s a dream, he tells himself, repeating it like a mantra.

But what if it isn’t? What if everything is as it’s supposed to be? A redo.

Just then, he hears something he never thought he’d hear again, and it takes all his strength not to fall to his knees.

“Daddy!” Sarah yells, her singsong voice bright and clear, just as he always remembered.

She bursts through his bedroom door, grinning from ear to ear—beautiful, whole, and safe.

“Happy birthday, you old fart!” Sarah teases.

Joel bounds across the room, scooping her into his arms.

“Babygirl,” he chokes back tears, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “You’re okay.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” she replies, her voice muffled against his chest. “Why are you being so weird?”

He doesn’t want to scare her, so he pulls himself together, trying to act like this isn’t the most magnificent moment of his life—a blessing to have another chance with his girl.

Gently, Joel loosens his grip and smiles down at her, cupping her cheeks in his hands.

“I love you so much,” he tells her.

“I love you too, Dad. I wish you didn’t have to work today. Working on your birthday is so lame.”

She’s right. That is lame. So, Joel does what he should have done the first time around: he pulls out his old cellphone and calls his boss to take the day off.

“Does that mean I get to skip school too?” Sarah jokes.

“Well, it’s only fair,” Joel says, a grin spreading across his face.

Sarah’s eyes widen. “Really?!” she squeals, excitement radiating from her.

“Why not?”

---

Joel meets Sarah in the kitchen, and together they spend the morning making pancakes and dancing to their favorite tunes. When Tommy arrives, Joel manages to talk him into skipping work as well.

“Come on, Tommy, you’ve never complained about skipping work before,” Joel teases.

“Fine,” Tommy says, his mouth full of pancake. “But when I’m short on rent this month, I’m counting on you to back me up.”

The three of them enjoy breakfast together, relishing their time as a family.

They spend the day having fun together, going to the park for Sarah to show off her soccer skills, stopping into town for ice cream on the way home, and lounging around on the couch, soaking in the quality time.

They end the day with a movie—a birthday tradition featuring "Curtis and Viper 2." This year, they even have a cake since Joel was able to skip work to pick one up.

With bellies full of sugar, Joel, Tommy, and Sarah are all sleepy-eyed on the couch, watching the end credits roll, when Sarah suddenly perks up.

“Present time!” she cheers, darting to her bedroom. Moments later, she returns with a small box in her hands.

“You got me something?” Joel asks, pretending to be just as surprised as when he first opened his birthday gift.

Sarah hands him the box and settles next to him on the couch. “You kept complaining about your broken watch, so I figured… you know.”

Joel opens the box to reveal the watch he prized above all else. He picks it up delicately, admiring the shine of the silver and the smooth, unbroken glass of the watch face.

“You like it?” Sarah asks, her voice tinged with nerves.

“Honey, this is nice,” Joel replies, tapping the watch. “But I think it’s stuck.”

“What?” Sarah exclaims incredulously. “No way! I just got it fixed—”

Joel bursts into laughter, and Tommy joins in.

“Oh ha ha, you got me,” Sarah concedes, rolling her eyes. “That was lame.”

“Where’d you get the money for this?” Joel asks, placing the watch around his wrist and snapping it into place.

“Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs.”

“Nice, kid. Real proud of you,” Joel laughs, playing along.

“Maybe you can help me out with this month’s rent then,” Tommy jokes from the other end of the couch.

“Thank you, honey,” Joel says, pulling Sarah in for a hug and kissing the top of her head. “I love it.”

Soon after, Sarah falls asleep on the couch, leaving Joel and Tommy some time together. Joel appreciates this; he’s missed his brother, and it weighs on him how their relationship has deteriorated over the years.

“Wanna go out to the bars to celebrate?” Tommy asks after a while.

“Hell no,” Joel replies. “Your ass will end up getting arrested.”

“Not fair! That only happened once!” Tommy whines.

“And it sure as hell will happen again if I don’t keep you in check.”

“Whatever,” Tommy concedes, settling back into the couch and scrolling through TV channels in search of something to watch.

“I’m gonna take her up to bed,” Joel says, nodding toward Sarah before standing and gently scooping her into his arms.

He carries his sleeping daughter to her room one last time, tucking her in with a kiss on the forehead. Instead of leaving, he wants to soak up every moment with her, as if any could be his last. So, Joel kicks off his boots and slides into bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her.

He falls asleep with a full heart and a smile on his face, grateful for the best birthday he’s ever had.

---

September 27th 2033

When he opens his eyes again, Joel wakes up on the cold, hard ground to birds chirping in a forest clearing. He should feel disappointed to be back in the present, but instead, he chooses gratitude. Grateful for the chance to relive the last moments with his daughter. Grateful for a wealth of new memories to carry with him through the years.

He realizes that maybe next year, when his birthday rolls around, he’ll remember the laughter and dancing in the kitchen with Sarah instead of the horrors that have haunted him for so long. The warmth of those moments will be a beacon, guiding him away from despair and toward hope.

With a deep breath, Joel rises to meet the day, ready to embrace whatever comes next.

[actual-changeling]

Family breakfasts with Tommy have become somewhat of a routine.

He comes over on the days Maria leaves for her work early (which is more often than not), eats her granola and drinks Joel's coffee, and they talk about whatever they feel like, though Ellie loves asking him about his recent patrols. She kicks her feet up into Joel's lap and draws it out as long as she can before sprinting all the way to school, but it's worth it if it means just one more story.

Today, though, she's late. Really fucking late. It's not her fault she got a bit distracted by the new book Tommy had brought her last afternoon (it's about SPACE Joel, that trumps school and sleep by a mile), but now she had about five minutes to get out of the house and into the classroom. Ellie barrels down the stairs, bag slung over her shoulder, and has to catch herself on the banister to not slip on the floor once she jumps over the last few steps

"Careful, baby," Joel calls over, worriedly watching her put on her shoes while standing on one leg, jumping to keep her balance. Tommy, on the other hand, looks majorly amused, and she can hear him chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah, old man, I can keep my balance just fine."

She ties her laces so she doesn't trip once she starts running and is about to leave when Joel whistles to call her back.

"Breakfast, Ellie."

Fucking Joel and his stupid rules, but Ellie spins on the spot and uses the kitchen door frame to propel herself toward the counter and pick up two apples for later, stuffing them into her bag with a happy? thrown over her shoulder.

"Mh, have a nice day at school, kiddo," he tries to sound all parental, but she can hear the softness bleeding through and just knows he's holding back a grin. Ellie crosses the distance between them with two big steps and slings her arms around his neck, allowing herself the luxury of melting against him for a few precious seconds when he gently rubs his thumbs over her wrists and lifts her clasped hands to press a kiss to her knuckles.

With a heavy sigh and a silent fuck you to whoever invented math, she pulls back, but not without pressing a kiss to Joel's cheek, basking in the smile he gives her; it's so easy to make him happy, and she does it as much as she can.

Ellie can feel Tommy's eyes on them, he always watches them with a gleeful mixture of amusement and affection, and over the last year, he has settled into the warm parts of her heart, too. He is right between her and the door, sipping on his coffee, so, really, it's not even a conscious choice, more of a reflex.

Her hand comes down on the table when she steps toward the front door and away from Joel, balancing herself so she can lean around the back of his chair and press a quick kiss to his cheek, too. Ellie bites back the small laugh bubbling up when she sees the expression on his face, mouth slightly open, eyes seeking help from Joel, who simply shrugs and picks up his cup again.

Another minute ticks by on the kitchen clock, and she is finally on her way out, the goodbye she yells at them cut off when the front door slams close behind her.

-

("What the hell was that?"

"She is laying her claim on you."

"Whatever that means, Joel, she's your kid, not mine."

"Better get ready to give up your personal space and half your closet."

"My clothes, really?"

"You never know what she might do next, prepare for the worst."

"Are you sure she's not yours? 'Cause this sounds oddly familiar."

"Oh, she is, she just found me all on her own."

"Glad she did, haven't seen you smile like that in twenty years."

"Give it a week and I'll tell you the same thing.")

[the-expired-lover]

if they bring in esther for tlou season 2 what then

[sotvtaughtmehowtofeel]

The day had been too hot, but it had cooled significantly as the sun slipped lower in the sky. A light breeze tinkled the windchimes Joel had found on patrol. Joel sat out on the porch, strumming a guitar absent-mindedly. Ellie came out of the house, warming her hands on a cup of tea. She sat down on the porch at Joel’s feet, taking a sip of tea. He changed the song he was playing and started to sing quietly to her.

“If I ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself.” His voice was soft, just for her to hear. “Everything I have found dear, I’ve not found by myself.”

She leaned her head against his leg, and he played for a bit without singing.

“I believe… and I believe ‘cause I can see.”  He kept singing, his voice thick. “Our future days, days of you and me.”

“Back when I was feeling broken…” His voice caught. He played a few more chords without singing, then set the guitar down on the porch. She looked up at him, and he motioned her toward him with a nod of his head. She stood and sat down next to him, tucking her feet up under her. He raised his arm, letting her lean against him, then closed his arm around her. She handed him the mug. He took a sip and handed it back, kissing the top of her head.

[pedgito]

giffing and writing about pre!outbreak joel for the rest of eternity, that man deserved so much more than he was dealt

[catherine-brown-24]

Tess was the right person for Joel. She was the only one who knew and understood who he was and what all he had been through and yet still accepted/loved him in spite of that. She was always there for him when he had nightmares about Sarah, comforting him, understanding his pain and giving him someone to hold to ease the pain. She was the only one who could help calm him down when he got heated about her being beaten up or when he had panic attacks. She trusted him with her life and he trusted her with his life. She was the one who kept him going after what happened to Sarah and gave him something to live for. She was his pillar, his anchor in life that gave him strength, comfort and meaning.

[outer-edges]

so one of my many inexplicable fic icks for the last of us is whenever there's a fic that just likely completely ignores everything about the finale and just goes along with a whole “happily ever after in jackson” thing.

i've never really been able to pinpoint a specific reason, but i think its because even if you ignore the fact that it is so insane to just remove the entirety of their experience with the fireflies and make them live happily ever after. they just…won’t…like it’s not going to be happily ever after for them because joel IS NOT ellie’s dad, and that’s not an emotional framework she even has. like dad doesn’t mean anything to her. to her, joel is her best friend. joel is family. joel is hers. she’s his. they belong like all that shit riley talked about with her family. but being a daughter and having a father isn’t something ellie even understands to fit herself into. her only experience with quote unquote “fatherhood” is david, and to him that meant disgusting control exerted over her. i think that entire experience probably gave her an extremely complicated relationship with the concept of father's in and of itself. so, even if she has this father-daughter type relationship with joel, that's not how she's ever going to associate him.

so, to her, joel is just joel. she loves him and cares for him deeply and he’s hers and she’s his, but he’s still just joel. he isn’t dad. he won’t ever be dad.

but to him, ellie isn’t just ellie. ellie is daughter.

daughter and dad is a very different dynamic than just inexplicably connected family. joel is going to exert a certain amount of control over her life, the kind that is perfectly healthy for parents to have, but she’s not going to accept it, and that’s going to cause problems for them. because it’ll be different than when they were on the road. then, everything joel did was to keep her safe. then he ordered her to do things like check her six and stay quiet and go hide while he takes care of business.

in jackson, in regular life, it’s going to be different. it’s going to be things like bedtimes and going to school and curfew and shit that ellie will reject because of her previous experience with it (FEDRA, david, etc). like this cognitive dissonance between them is going to cause problems. even though they care about each other just as much, they aren't really on the same page when it comes to what they are to each other.

that’s what they’re going to work through. those are conflicts they would face even if they do get happily ever after. which, that isn't something really see anyone working through, and the absence of it rubs me the wrong way in ways i can't really explain. i think it's because this cognitive dissonance is something that would cause such a big strain on their relationship. even if everything went perfectly fine with the fireflies, or whatever, they still would have interpersonal conflict. it isn’t just ellie’s nightmares that are solved by platonic cuddling. their monsters are much closer to the heart than that.

she’s not his daughter. and he sure as hell ain’t her dad. but they’re going to figure it out anyway.

[averyistired-62]

unoriginal TLOU2 Spider-Man AU fic idea

While trying to get these last couple of achievements on Marvel's Spider-Man Remastered I had a totally original thought that I could add to the already (probably?) dozen Ellie/Dina AU fics where Ellie is secretly Spider-Woman (she's like, 'immune' from the spider bite) and of course because it's a Spider-'Man' fic, she's basically like all the other Spider-Men except she's... a woman. And then I thought I could add in a bit of The Flash (I'm grasping at straws here, if no one can tell) with Joel Miller being... Joe West (I don't think I'll make Dina be Joel's daughter, if anyone's wondering that) anyway, I am definitely rambling when I could be shoving all of this into Word. I told my friend that I have a rare disease whenever I think of complicated/dramatic relationships I automatically think it's hardcore Ellie/Dina coded and she agreed with me. In my slight deluded defense I think that Peter and MJ have a little bit of a similar dynamic that Ellie and Dina have. Can I like. Trade Mark a couple unoriginal ideas to create a 'cute' original idea? Is that a thing? (Asking for a friend...) Anyone is free to tell me this is a bad idea but please bear in mind I make impulsive decisions when it comes to the TLOU franchise (I did 100% try and write a little fanfic piece in the past and quickly scrapped it lol) so when offering constructive criticism pretty please remember to be like, brutally honest, but without sounding mean? Off to my happy land to spend hours writing this only to probably scrap it and cry myself to sleep.

[valcarcel]

I'm just here crying with the facts that on Anna's letter to Ellie, she told her to find a purpose and fight for it, and after getting bite and survive, and FEDRA telling her that she could be a cure, Ellie hold on to that as her purpose, and Joel take that away from her 😭 But he did it because he loves her cause that's his kid and he doesn't want to burry another daughter, so I understand why he did it 😭 And when they finally make peaces, Abby kills Joel because he killed her father, a father that she loved so much and Joel take him away from her, so I understand why she killed Joel, and I just want to cry 😭 I want them to be happy but that's not possible 😢

[zipadeea]

So, would your dad massacre a hospital and doom the world to save your life? Asking for a friend. 

[softiedingo]

JOEL MILLER 🍺

[actual-changeling]

make a wish (on my heart)

Really hope y'all aren't tired of tooth-rotting fluff yet. You can find it on ao3 here, but I will also put the whole thing on tumblr <3

-

"Make a wish."

Ellie blinks up at him, lowering her comic into her lap, and she only now notices how close Joel has gotten. Their sides press together when she follows the warmth he radiates and leans against him, his outstretched left hand hovering between them like he is waiting for something. A single eyelash sticks to the middle of his palm, and she distantly recalls his fingertips brushing over her cheek just a few seconds ago; her brain stops being on alert entirely when it's just the two of them. He nods toward it, expectantly holding her gaze.

"It's yours, so it's your wish."

"Joel, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," she quips back, absently reaching for his free hand to gently tug on the hair tie around his wrist. Neither of them notices when she fidgets with it anymore, sometimes opting for his entire hand instead, and they only start paying attention to it once her grasp on it gets in the way of Joel's arm moving around. She traces the hard lines of his wrist bones down to his knuckles, slotting her fingers into the empty spaces, familiar with every bump and scar grazing her skin.

"FEDRA really didn't teach you shit, huh?"

His voice is soft, balancing on the edge between humorous and the mildly self-flagellating sadness he likes to fall into whenever it comes to her childhood, or rather the time before they met - not that any of it had been under his control, but that has never stopped Joel from blaming himself for things. Ellie links their pinkies like they do for their promises, pulling until he gives in and lets out the low chuckle she was looking for.

"Well, more reasons for you to talk to me, then," and Ellie cannot help the smile blooming on her face when he cups her cheek, her fingers sliding back up to curl around his wrist. His palm is just as warm as the rest of him, and if his arm weren't stopping her, she'd silently seek out his lap and request a hug (she always gets one).

"I don't need a reason to talk to you." Joel responds lightly, but they're both aware she was joking, and so he continues explaining without interruption, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone.

"It's a- not quite a myth but a belief, I suppose, that blowing on eyelashes makes whatever you wish for come true. I used to do it with Sarah all the time, even once she started thinking that it's silly."

Ellie rolls her eyes and bites back her grin when he sighs fondly, but she still leans forward and blows her eyelash off his palm with one strong breath, quickly losing sight of it when it flutters away from the couch and gets carried who knows where by the draft breaking in from under the backdoor. An almost aching pressure curls around her heart and squeezes when she spots the wistful look on Joel's face, his eyes shining a tad more than they did a few seconds ago, but it passes as quickly as it came. As soon as he lowers his hand, she takes its place and settles with her back against his chest, the weight of his arms wrapping around her comfortingly grounding, and when she picks up her comic again, all the tension she has been holding in her shoulders bleeds away. It is not even a particularly cold day, yet the body heat sinking into her body still melts away a layer of frost she hadn't been aware of.

"Wanna know what I wished for?"

"You can't tell me, or it won't come true."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"I'm serious, baby."

With his cheek resting on top of her head, she feels him search around for the book he put down earlier, grumbling when she gets jostled but quickly soothed by a kiss to her temple, and once they both finally still, Ellie is almost tempted to doze off; there is no better or safer place to take a nap than his embrace, and she always gets the best sleep with him right next to her anyway.

"Can I tell you what it was once it came true?"

His hum vibrates through her bones all the way to her toes, and her fingers once again slip between his wrist and the hair tie, drawing little crescent moons onto his skin and forcing him to hold the pages open with only his other hand.

"Sure," he eventually relents, pressing another kiss to her hair, "you can tell me when it happens."

They read cuddled up together for another hour, though only Joel actually reads, in an entirely expected turn of events. Ellie drifts off with her face buried in the crook of his neck, an occasionally moving blanket draped across his body, headbutting his jaw whenever she does since he cannot resist using her as a cheek rest. She is only half-awake when she carefully turns her head to talk to him so she doesn't add any more bruises, breathing a content sigh against his palm when he soothingly brushes back a few strands of hair.

"You plan on leaving any time soon?"

"Leaving?"

"Yeah, like, gone," she explains, weakly waving her hand around to visualize her point, not that it helps all that much, but Joel understands her like he always does, his voice both tender and steady.

"Not without you."

Satisfied, Ellie nuzzles her face back into his shoulder, her next words muffled by his shirt but still audible, and although she cannot see his smile, she can feel it seep into her like the growing glow of the morning sun.

"Then my wish has already come true."