#joel deserves to be happy in his final days at least

[the-expired-lover]

if they bring in esther for tlou season 2 what then

[cowgurrrl]

Something in the Orange

Pairing: Joel Miller x art teacher!reader

Author's note: this might become a mini series idk idk

Summary: A parent-teacher conference leads to trouble [4.0k]

Warnings: no outbreak! au, teacher things, Ellie being a little loner, Joel the Menace making a return, Joel gets both his daughters in this one because it's what he deserves, flirty flirt, i think that's it???

You feel like you've been running a million miles a minute since you got in this morning. The second you could unlock the door, at least three students spilled into your room and chaotically ran to the kiln to collect their most recent pottery projects. One of them ended up shattering (the exact one you warned Colin about, but he didn't listen), and, as per high school custom, they were all screaming about it. You consoled the students just in time for your principal to walk by and ask about lesson plans which made you scramble through your backpack for your notebook even though you knew damn well there wasn't a single lesson plan in there. "Do you always have those lights on?" Principal Martinez asked, gesturing to the room's fairy lights and orange lamps. Leave it to administration to want to avoid art classrooms so much that they don't even know about the Big Light Philosophy. 

Since then, it's been class after class. You only have one more period before your planning period and then, finally, the end of the day. There are a hundred things to do, but you can't focus on any of them. You got so caught up in managing your classroom and helping students with the hardest parts of their portfolio work that you almost forgot you had a parent meeting scheduled during your planning period. 

Calling in parents for meetings about their children may be your least favorite part of your job. It makes you feel like a bad teacher, and parents usually don't feel great about getting called in on a workday to talk about their kid. Luckily, Ellie's dad, Joel, seemed more than happy to take time to talk about her. You rack your mind for his occupation as you add some detail to a canvas you've been hiding in your office and working on when you can. Was he a blue-collar worker? Or was he another stuck-up Austin transplant parent who's gonna accuse you of lying? He'd make the fifth parent who's made you cry this semester.

A knock on your locked door pulls you from your thoughts, and you quickly put away your painting before answering the door. "I told you she was in here!" One of your students, Dina, announces as she and a posse of three other kids you don't recognize push their way into the room. "Miss, you've gotta take that thing off your door; otherwise, people are gonna think you went home!"

"You mean the sign that says, 'planning period. Do not enter?'" You ask, and she snaps her fingers.

"That's the one." She says as she and her friends start putting their backpacks down at one of your high tables. You sigh and kick the door stopper into the threshold.

"You guys can't stay here. I have a meeting in five minutes."

"With who?"

"None of your business." 

"Miss!" Dina acts wounded, and you cross your arms over your chest, your keys jingling around your neck in the process.

"I am an adult with a college degree and the debt to show for it. You are a teenager with a still-developing brain. You have to listen to me," you say. "Wait, whose class are you supposed to be in right now?"

"Mr. Flynn's."

"Guys!" You groan before walking over to your desk and quickly writing up a hall pass for them. "I know you don't like math-"

"No, we don't like Mr. Flynn." Dina cuts you off.

"Or math!" One of her friends adds, and you shoot them a (loving) disapproving look. 

"Whatever you don't like, you can't keep hiding out here. Mr. Flynn is two seconds away from trying to get me fired for how often I let his kids in here during class, and I actually like this job, so," you rip the hall pass off the pad and hand it to Dina. As they pack their stuff up, a tall, bearded man steps into your classroom and makes eye contact with you. "Out, out, out! I love you. You're gonna change the world one day, but please get out." You blow them kisses as you usher them out of the room. 

"Are you Ellie's art teacher?" He asks, a confused look on his face, and you nod.

"Yes, I am. Sorry about that. They're still figuring out that I have work to get done even when I don't have a class," you explain, a little breathless from running all over the place and getting caught off-guard. You really do try to act a little more professional with parents, but the kids threw you off. The kettle whistling behind your desk doesn't make it any better. "Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Tea?" You pick up a random mug off your desk but find it full of murky water. "Paint water?"

"Are you allowed to have an electric kettle in here?" He asks, and you laugh nervously as you find a clean mug and your tea box. 

"I won't tell if you won't." You say. He stands there awkwardly as you pour yourself some tea, and you realize you didn't pull a chair up for him. "Um, we can sit..." you glance around your messy classroom until you find a clear table and gesture toward it. "Here." He follows your lead, and you take a deep breath as you sit down.

"You gonna be okay?" He asks, the hint of a smirk on his lips. His curly hair looks golden brown in the low light, and his round eyes have a little knowing twinkle. You take another breath to compose yourself and nod. 

"Yes. Sorry. It's been a long day." 

"Don't worry bout it. I'm sure they run you ragged."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well, you do have paint in your hair." He says, and panic seizes in your chest. You're never more aware of how crazy your job can be until you meet Real Adults. Even if you can't remember what he does for a living, you still have to admit that you look a little silly next to each other: you, with your paint-stained sunflower dress and markered hands, and him, with his black shirt and jeans. He doesn't have any apparent stains or splatters on his clothes, but he's broad with thick biceps. He must work with his hands or something within that capacity. You clear your throat and try to get back on track with the meeting.

"Uh, so Mr. Miller, the reason I called you here today was to talk to you about Ellie," you start. "First, I just wanna say that she is an amazing student. She always does her work and engages thoughtfully with the material. I really do enjoy having her in class." 

"Well, that's certainly good to hear. She talks a whole lot bout this class and you, so... it's nice to place a face to the name," he says, adjusting his position on the stool. "But I have a feelin' you didn't call me down here just to tell me how great my kid is." 

"She is great. She's extremely talented, smart, and funny, but she spends more time in my classroom during lunch than anything else. I'm worried about her making friends and finding a community here at school. I've tried convincing her to join the art club, but she's hesitant. During class, she just sits with her headphones in and draws. She really doesn't like talking to anybody but me." You wait for blame to be assigned to you or get lectured, but it never comes. He just sighs, and he deflates a little in his chair.

"She's been through a lot this year. Well, her whole life, really, but 'specially recently," he says dejectedly. "What can I do for her?"

"There's an art show this Friday night here at the school. It'll all be student work from across the district. I thought if maybe you or... whatever adults she has at home came with her to this, she might feel more comfortable talking to her peers or even want to submit some of her own stuff."

"We can do that. I'll get off work early and ask her uncle if he wants to come," he's quick with his solution, and you're a little shocked. You rarely get parents, let alone fathers, who act this swiftly when something is going on with their kids. "Is there anythin' else goin' on that I should know bout?" 

"Uh, no. Like I said, she's a great kid. You should be really proud." You say, and the concerned wrinkle between his eyebrows disappears with a proud smile. 

"Thank you," he mumbles, suddenly shy. "And thanks for carin' so much bout her. It's nice to know she's got someone lookin' out for her here." You don't know what to say, so you just nod and stare at him. You know, like an idiot. It takes a chuckle from him to snap you out of your thoughts, and blood rushes to your cheeks.

"Yes, of course. She's a good kid." You say. 

"You said that already." 

"I bet you'd be a little scatterbrained if you were at the mercy of two hundred teenagers all day."

"You're absolutely right. I would be," he says, smirking devastatingly. "Someone ought to get you a coffee or somethin' if you're dealing with all that." 

"People like you should go argue with the school board. I'm sure you'd be popular with all the teachers." 

"That'd be a first. I think I might've been the least favorite parent for all of my girls' teachers." 

"Well, I find that hard to believe." 

"Yeah?" He asks, leaning forward just a little, and you nod, smiling. Your brain struggles to come up with something to say, and you're a little embarrassed at your silence, but luckily, your projector saves the day by buzzing loudly and making the picture on the board cut in and out. You mumble a quick apology before getting up and climbing up on a desk to jiggle a piece back into place. You hear Joel curse behind you, and when you turn to see what the problem is, you see him holding his arms out behind you. "Do you stand on desks often?" 

"Only every day. I haven't fallen yet this year." You laugh at his exasperated expression and turn back to the projector. It's still making a weird noise, so you move it around a little more, moving the desk under your feet, and Joel stabilizes it with a sigh. 

"How long has it been doin' that?" 

"Couple months. I keep putting in maintenance requests, but nobody ever comes to fix it."

"I can fix it for ya," he says simply, and you look down at him. "I've got tools in my truck. It wouldn't take long at all."

"Really?" You ask, and he nods. 

"It'd make me feel better knowin' you're not almost breakin' your neck every day."

"You mean, standing on a decades-old desk to mess with an ancient piece of equipment isn't OSHA compliant?"

"Please," he says, grabbing your ankle when the desk wobbles under you, and you laugh at his worry. "Let me fix it for you before you give me a heart attack." You think about declining and just putting in another work order, but the likelihood that anyone would actually come and fix it is slim to none. Plus, you really shouldn't be climbing on top of desks every day. You pretend to think it over for a few more seconds just to watch the worry play across his features as his grip on your ankle gets tighter.

"Only if you really mean it." 

"I really mean it," he says, offering you his other hand. "Now, would you please get down?"

"Fine." You say and take his hand. You bend to safely get yourself down, but Joel moves his other hand from your ankle to your waist and basically hoists you to the ground. Once your feet touch the floor, he doesn't let you go immediately like he's trying to figure out if you somehow got hurt when he wasn't looking. There's a part of your brain that's aware of how inappropriate this would look to any passersby, but you're also highly aware of how warm his big hand is on your hip. 

"Ya alright?" He asks softly, and you nod, taking a conscious step back from his arms.

"Yes, thank you."

"Good," he says, also taking a step back. "Let me go get my tools, and I'll get that fixed for you." 

"Perfect. I'll be here." You stand there, staring at each other awkwardly, for another moment before he turns on his heels and walks out of the classroom. The second he's out of your line of sight, you bury your head in your hands and start silently freaking out. 

What the fuck are you doing? How did a parent-teacher meeting turn into him hauling you off a desk and offering to fix your projector? Technically, nothing incriminating has happened, and it needs to stay that way. It doesn't matter if you think he's attractive or like how he worries about everything. He's Ellie's dad. Teachers have gotten fired for much less than this, and you're not willing to risk your career because of one guy. 

When he gets back with his toolbox, you're sitting at your desk and sorting through assignments like a reasonable adult. He doesn't say anything as he climbs up on the same desk you were standing on and begins messing with the mechanics of the equipment. You each work in silence for a few minutes before a screw clatters to the ground, and he grumbles something under his breath. "Do you mind..." he starts, pointing toward the lost piece. 

"Not at all." You cover your anxiety with your chipper teacher voice and search for the screw with your phone flashlight. You find it tucked between canvases, carefully pick it up, and walk over to where he's standing, waiting for him to be ready for it.

"It looks like it's just an old piece in here. I'm sure you can order a new one, and I can come back and install it if ya want," he explains, looking down at you. You probably look stupid just standing there with a tiny screw in your hand, but he doesn't laugh. "D'you mind handing me that tool to your right?" He asks, and you blindly reach for the tool you think he's talking about. "Your other right." He corrects, and you flush in embarrassment. 

"Sorry. I never was a very good woodshop student." You say, and he laughs once he has the tool in hand. 

"My girls are the same way. Just askin' ‘em to hold a flashlight while I work on their car is like pullin' teeth," he says fondly. "Speaking of which, is there a reason the lights aren't on in here?"

"The lamp light is less harsh, and it helps students focus. Plus, nobody likes coming into a bright classroom first thing in the morning." You explain, and he hums.

"If I'd had a teacher like you growing up, I would've been at school much more than I was."

"You didn't like school?"

"Hated it," he says, opening his hand for the screw. Once you drop the tiny thing into his large palm, he straightens up, and you can barely hear it going back into its rightful place. "'S a miracle I graduated." 

"That was me in college." 

"Now, I don't believe that for a second." 

"Really?" You laugh, and he nods.

"Someone like you, with your pretty dresses and all that empathy, was meant to be a teacher." 

"I wasn't always like this," you evade the compliment despite the butterflies in your stomach. "Being a teacher was never on my radar until I graduated. A lot of my life was never on my radar until then." He puts the hood of the projector back on and climbs down from the desk until he's standing in front of you again, wiping his hands on a red handkerchief from his toolbox. 

"Well, with the way you carry yourself, I never woulda guessed." He says. He opens his mouth to say something more, but the sharp tone of the bell ringing cuts him off. You jump at the sound and look at the clock as if it were wrong. 

"I'm so sorry. Time must've gotten away from me. Thank you so much again, Mr. Miller, for coming in to talk with me and looking at the projector. I hope to see you and Ellie on Friday." You say quickly as the sound of rowdy kids fills the hallway, and you hold your hand out to him. He takes it and squeezes it firmly.

"You can call me Joel. Mr. Miller makes me feel old." He says, and you smile. He doesn't look old, unlike the other dads you've encountered. Sure, he's got some gray at his temples and in his beard, but it suits him. 

"Joel, it is then." You resolve. His hand lingers in yours for a little too long before finally pulling away. "Well, Joel, unless you want to elbow through teenagers, I'd suggest you hide out here for a few more minutes." He does happily, even helping you carry supplies to your car once the hallways have cleared out enough. He's a proper gentleman, slinging your backpack over his shoulder and opening doors for you. You part only once everything is in your trunk, and he bids you goodnight with a charming smile that fills your thoughts on your drive home.

Ellie surprises you the next day as you're setting up the classroom. Normally, she isn't in until right before the bell rings, so seeing her this early is a little bit of a shock. The ink staining her hands is not. "Hey, dude. What's going on?" You ask. "Did you get breakfast from the cafeteria today? I heard Mrs. Hodges has those French toast sticks that everyone loves. You can probably get two servings if you run." 

"No, I already ate. My dad and uncle had to leave early this morning, so we got breakfast. Speaking of which," she says as she takes off her backpack and pulls a cup of iced coffee out of her water bottle pocket. "This is for you. We didn't know what you liked, so we got a vanilla latte or something." 

"Oh, El! You didn't have to do that. Thank you, honey." You say, and she sets it on your desk for you to enjoy once you don't have paintbrushes in hand. "If this is your way of getting a good grade on your piece, I already told you that you have nothing to worry about."

"It wasn't my idea. It was my dad's." She says nonchalantly before moving to the back of the classroom to get her sketch book. You, however, are confused and secretly pleased that Joel thought of you when he didn't have to. You find a message scribbled on the side when you reach for the cup to take a sip. 

Thanks again. See you Friday. -J

You turn to hide your smile from Ellie, but she's so deep in her work that you doubt she would've noticed anyway. You put some music on, and you and Ellie work silently on your projects until the bell rings and the day starts. 

The rest of the week goes by without a hitch, meaning that nobody accidentally ingested paint, and you only had to have one Come to Jesus talk with your Art 1 class. When Friday night rolls around, you're excited to see all the students work and treat yourself by wearing a new shirt with black scribbles all over it and black dress pants. You figure you should look as art teachery as possible for an art teacher event. 

By the time you get to the school, the hallways are buzzing with students dragging their parents from one piece to another and administrators praising their art programs even though you know not one of them has seen the inside of an art classroom in months. You make small talk with some of your students and their parents before finding a way out of the conversation and letting yourself wander through the makeshift gallery. You love your kids, but you really don't want them breathing down your neck as you look at all the art. You're almost at the end when you hear a familiar voice calling your name, and you turn to find Ellie walking toward you with Joel and, who you assume to be her uncle, next to her. 

"Hey, kid! I'm so happy to see you here!" You say sincerely, and she smiles shyly. You turn to her uncle and hold your hand out to introduce yourself. 

"Tommy. We sure have heard a whole lot bout you at home." He says with a smirk, and you laugh. 

"All good things, I hope."

"Of course. Ellie just bout worships the ground you walk on," he says. "Joel was singin' your praises, too." 

"Alright, I think that's enough. Why don't y'all go walk around, and I'll catch up with ya?" He suggests, and Tommy chuckles. Another teacher calls Ellie's name from down the hallway, and she's quick to drag Tommy off to meet him, leaving you and Joel alone. He's replaced his black shirt with a light blue dress shirt, and it looks like he's recently trimmed his beard. He looks nice.

"Singing praises, huh?" You raise your eyebrows at him, and he smiles sheepishly. "Thank you for the coffee the other morning, by the way. It was a really nice surprise." 

"Figured it was the least I could do to thank you for takin' such good care of my girl." 

"Well, thank you. I owe you." 

"You don't owe me a thing," he says. "Although, Tommy was a little upset that I didn't bill you for lookin' at the projector." 

"Was he?" You ask, and he nods.

"Oh, yeah," he laughs. "Said next time I should, at least, ask you on a date."

"Mr. Miller-"

"I thought you agreed to call me Joel." He raises his eyebrows in a silent challenge, and you shake your head, fighting a smile.

"Joel, while I'm flattered by the offer from someone so handsome-"

"You think I'm handsome?"

"I can't date my students' parents." You say, ignoring his question, but even then, the playful look on his face doesn't fade. "Well, I can leave you to it. I know Ellie will probably want to show you around." 

"Right. Of course," he says. "It's really nice to see you."

"You, too. I'm just glad I didn't have paint in my hair this time."

"I don't know. I thought it was kinda cute." You feel yourself blush at his words, but you have to shut it down before it can become anything more than flattery. You take a deep breath and try not to let that stupid smirk weaken your knees as he watches you.

"Goodnight, Joel."

"Goodnight, ma'am." He says, tipping his head politely before sauntering down the hallway like he owns the place. Trouble, you think to yourself. But you can handle trouble. It's in your job description, for Christ's sake. 

So, you brush off the flirting and try to ignore how his kindness and sweet words made you feel. You absolutely cannot flirt with the parent of one of your students. Dating is completely off the table. You can handle this like an adult. You have to. 

After a cold shower and a leftover dinner, you check your email once more before going to bed that night. Sitting in your inbox with alarming clarity is an email from Ellie with the subject line: Art Club. Her email is somehow just as short as her subject line. 

Simply, "When can I start -E." 

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha

[sanarsi]

Pink Braids

no-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel decided to take his daughter on vacation for a few days. The sea and the beach were the perfect destination for a short break. Joel could never resist Sarah's charms. The stand selling colorful braids was no exception. Warnings: NONE it’s pure and sweet like Joel’s love for his daughter <3 Wordcount: 3,2k An: I wrote this to satisfy my need so don’t judge me pls :c Joel and Sarah deserve at least some happy and calmly times, so this is it! I hope this satisfies your appreciative heart at least a little xx Music I worked with: Falling for Ya - Grace Phipps (Teen Beach Movie)

Masterlist

Like every year, it's time for a short family vacation. Sarah decided that this time she wanted to go to the seaside to collect seashells and make a necklace out of them. And who was Joel to deny her anything? His princess wanted seashells and sand? His princess got shells and sand.

The sun was pleasantly warm on his skin for the second day in a row as he lay on the blanket without moving even an inch. There was a blissful smile on his lips because he could finally rest.

Sarah sat nearby, digging in the sand to bury Joel's other leg. He didn't complain. At least his feet were cool.

There was muffled music, conversations and laughter all around, but Joel only heard Sarah. Her delicate voice sang the same song from some children's musical over and over again. He wouldn't complain if she changed the album because he already knew that damn song by heart. Worse still, he has to listen to it every time they drive. For a few hours at least. But what can he do when he sees her big smile while singing her favorite song? Start singing with her, of course.

"Dad, I'm hungry."

Joel looked up and raised an eyebrow as he watched Sarah continue to bury his leg. He sighed quietly and then groaned heavily as he rose to a sitting position. Sarah raised an eyebrow and looked at him with amusement.

"You moan like you're sixty," she pointed out.

"I have it mentally," he replied, rubbing his eyes under his glasses and stretched, looking around the beach full of people. He glanced at the watch on his wrist and knew that they should get going. It was soon lunchtime and he had to admit that his stomach was growling. "What do you want to eat?"

Sarah fell silent for a moment, wondering what she wanted. In the meantime, she handed Joel a plastic shovel so he could dig out his legs. She smiled broadly and leaned towards the sand to catch her father's attention.

“Can we have waffles, please?” she asked, grinning widely, hoping this would bribe him. Damn, she was right.

“Sure,” he nodded.

“With whipped cream and strawberries?” she asked hopefully, but she already knew that Joel would agree to anything.

“With whipped cream and strawberries,” he nodded again.

Sarah got up from the sand, full of energy, and started packing all her things into her bag. Joel had only just managed to dig out both legs and she was already standing ready to leave the beach. How happy he was to have such a resourceful daughter.

He took his shirt from her and put it on. He took the bag from her and slowly followed her lead. And it definitely wasn't his fault that Sarah managed to get out of the beach and come to him again while he was dragging along like a snail.

“Give me a break. I'm forty years old," he groaned miserably as Sarah literally ran around him.

"Forty, not sixty," she noted, jumping on the sand and waiting for her feet to sink in. “Maybe you should do yoga?” she suggested, and Joel snorted under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Better watch your steps," he said and put his leg under her, causing her to stumble. Joel started laughing to himself as Sarah looked at him in disbelief.

"What the… Dad?!" she shouted after him and punched his shoulder, starting to laugh.

A dozen or so minutes later, they were both walking, eating waffles. The beach was always full of souvenir and food stands, so Sarah had something to do. Of course, Joel followed her like a shadow and commented on everything she showed him.

She ended up with a new bracelet on her wrist and a colorful magnet for the fridge.

"You think they made it out of real sand?" she asked, examining the sand-like structure. Joel glanced down at her purchase.

“It looks fake,” he commented and finished eating his waffle.

“I knew it,” she muttered confidently under her breath.

They walked calmly, watching the sea from nearby. Joel watched everything that was happening on the beach, but Sarah didn't have this pleasure because her view was blocked by colorful flower bushes. Suddenly he felt a tug on his hand, which made him stop and turn towards his daughter, who was looking enchanted at the stand where they were making colorful braids from artificial hair. Joel knew immediately what this meant, but he had a vestige of hope in him that died the moment he locked eyes with Sarah. Her eyes sparkled as if she had seen at least a unicorn.

"Dad..." she began calmly, to which Joel only groaned pitifully.

"You'll finish off your old man someday," he said, rubbing his face with his hand, and Sarah immediately started jumping in place with excitement with a wide smile. And that was enough to make him smile too.

He didn't resist when his daughter started pulling him towards the stand like a racehorse. A young girl who was browsing something on her phone when they approached her stand.

You looked at them belatedly. A wide smile spread across your face as you looked from Joel to Sarah.

“Hi, good morning, how can I help you?” you asked, putting your phone away and getting up from your chair, ready to work.

"My daughter wanted..." he started to say, but Sarah immediately interrupted him.

“I wanted some braids,” she said excitedly. You looked amused at Joel, who just shrugged, giving his daughter the right to decide.

“Okay, then, my name is y/n and I will do whatever you want on your head. How does it sound?" you turned to Sarah with a friendly smile. The girl smiled broadly.

“Sounds great” she nodded “I am Sarah” she introduced herself and shook hands with you.

Joel's eyes fell on you the moment he heard your name. He swallowed hard at the strange hit of nostalgia that rose in his chest.

That was Sarah's mother's name.

“Okay, so choose the colors you like,” you started to show her a wall with dozens of colors of colorful strands of artificial hair. Sarah stood and smiled, enjoying the neon colors. The longer she tried to choose, the more her smile began to fade. Joel stood with his arms crossed, watching his daughter.

“Dad, I don't know which one to choose,” she said, turning towards him worriedly. Your eyes also fell on the girl's father and you smiled warmly at him.

“Should I choose for you?” he raised his eyebrows, letting her know that this would end badly.

“Maybe I can help,” you suggested, immediately seeing the relief on the man's face. You crouched down next to Sarah and her attention was focused only on you. "What is your favorite color, Sarah?"

"Pink," her smile immediately returned as she shrugged casually. You laughed to yourself because her answer was predictable. Joel also snorted quietly under his breath. You glanced at the man out of the corner of your eye and your eyes met for a moment.

“What color do you think goes best with pink?”

“Blue,” she replied, proud of herself.

“Okay, we've got two. We need one more color” you showed her three on your fingers. “Now you need to focus” Your words caught her attention even more and Joel shook his head in amusement. "What color is most in your closet?" you asked, looking at her carefully and Sarah began to think hard. You saw the gears in her brain working at full speed.

The silence began to drag on so Joel came out to help. “Purple,” he said, catching your attention. Sarah immediately brightened and nodded at her father's words. You smiled warmly at Joel and nodded.

“Then I have five suggestions for you,” you turned to the girl again. You stood up and started pulling off a few strands of hair and presented them to Sarah. She began to carefully look at all the colors you had chosen. “And? Which ones do you like?”

Sarah looked up at you with a smile. “All of them,” she replied and turned back to looking at the neon colors in your hands. You looked up at Joel, who understood your silent question and nodded in agreement.

“Okay, then sit on the chair and look at the sample photos of updos,” you pointed to the board with photos of different hairstyles. Sarah obediently followed your orders. Joel started to accompany her in choosing her hairstyle while you started preparing the equipment.

“Can I have this one?” she asked.

"No," came the answer. You smiled to yourself as you listened to their conversation.

“And this one?”

“No”

Groan of anger. A moment of silence.

"This?" she asked with less confidence, fearing that her father would not agree to her next choice. a moment of silence.

“Let it be,” he agreed, so now you could spring into action. You walked up to them with a smile and a few pins attached to your small apron.

“And what is the final choice, princess?” you asked, so Sarah immediately pointed to one of the photos on the board. “Great choice,” you said confidently to convince the girl that her dad made the right decision.

It worked.

You winked at Joel and he smiled at you gratefully. You started combing the girl's hair, so Joel sat on the wall right next to her so he could watch everything. And so began an adventure that lasted several hours.

You slowly finished braiding the first braid, listening to the girl's story with a wide smile. "And then I told her she was an idiot because Carly and Freddie didn't fit together," she said, moved.

You glanced at her father, who just nodded resignedly, listening to his daughter's story. "Who's the idiot?" he said, on the verge of a breakdown, and Sarah gave him a deadly look.

“Dad, did you even listen to what I said?” she asked suspiciously, and confusion appeared on her father's face.

“Bethany,” you said, deciding to save him from his predicament.

"Exactly. Bethany,” she murmured in agreement. Joel gave you a grateful look and continued to watch your work. It was impossible not to notice his curiosity.

“Shall I show you how it's done, sir?” you asked encouragingly, tying the first braid. Joel was silent for a moment, hesitant to agree. But he finally got up from his seat and walked closer to you, standing next to you.

“I'd appreciate it,” he nodded with a sheepish smile. “And… just Joel, please” he added and you smiled back. It was nice.

“Okay, Joel… Have you ever braided hair before?” you asked, preparing another color of artificial hair. He shook his head in denial, so you gave him a reassuring smile. "Then we'll start with the basics."

For the next half hour, you explained to him every move you made while braiding the two braids. He asked detailed questions every now and then and seemed genuinely interested. It touched your heart more than it should have. But you couldn't help but feel strange emotions stirred in you by the sight of a single father who loved his child.

“Would you like to try?” you asked when you finished tying braid. Joel looked at you uncertainly. “If you make a mistake, I will help you,” you assured him, wanting to give him some comfort. This finally convinced him.

Satisfied, you started another braid and gave it halfway to him. His movements were uncertain as he moved strands of hair between his fingers. You watched him closely, trying to steer him in the right direction, but he was extremely deaf to your words.

“No, Joel, wait-” you cut him off and it wasn't until you placed your hands on his that he noticed you.

He sighed under his breath, furious at his poor skills. "I guess my fingers are too big for this," he remarked.

“Your fingers are perfectly fine,” you laughed under your breath and gently wrapped your fingers around his. “You have to do it more gently,” you said and started controlling his hands like a puppet. Joel watched as everything suddenly started to look perfect. Your hands were gentle and tender unlike his. His thoughts began to enter dangerous territory, causing him to clear his throat nervously, afraid that you could somehow read minds.

“There you go,” you said with a wide smile, finishing another braid with his hands.

Joel looked at his work and had to admit it didn't look bad. He nodded in approval and looked your way. His eyes immediately fell on your hand, which contained more strands of hair.

“Now you do it all yourself,” you encouraged him with a smile.

And that's how Joel got the braid on one side and you on the other.

Perfect cooperation.

You looked at him every now and then with a smile, observing how focused he was on what he was doing. You couldn't help but think how sweet he was.

You stared at him shamelessly until his eyes met yours. You felt your cheeks heat up as you focused on your work again. A smile appeared on John's lips, and he had to admit that it felt... good. For so many years he focused only on work and his daughter that he forgot what it was like to have contact with a woman. It was such an exotic experience.

A moment later, you were fixing the final details in Sarah's hairstyle. Joel stood watching her with a warm smile.

"You look beautiful," he said, making her blush. You smiled to yourself as you arranged her curls.

“Your dad is right. You look like the most beautiful flower in the meadow,” you said, crouching in front of her. She smiled still embarrassed. You glanced at her father. "A daughter like that is a treasure."

Joel smiled, looking at his little princess. "Yeah, I tell myself that every time I find an eggshell in my scrambled eggs," he joked, raising an eyebrow. You and Sarah burst out laughing.

You exchanged a few more words with the girl and then stood up.

“Can I take a picture of her?” you asked Joel. He was confused for a moment and only then did he understand what you meant.

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded, giving you the green light. You took your phone out of your pocket and quickly took a few photos of her hairstyle. You were delighted with your work because the little one looked like a blooming flower with pink habesha braids. You let her look at herself in the mirror and in the meantime you added up all the expenses. You wrote everything down on a piece of paper so as not to make any mistakes while you glanced at the delighted child.

However, Joel blocked your view. You looked up, locking eyes with him.

"How much did this little star cost?" he asked, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. You blinked a few times and looked at the piece of paper with the calculations.

“Sixty dollars” you read and glanced at the bill he was already holding out towards you. You took the money and reached into your pocket to give him the change, but you froze when his hand grabbed your wrist. You looked at his warm smile and your throat went dry for a moment.

“The rest is for you,” he said, letting go of your wrist. You opened your mouth to deny it because a forty dollar tip was way too much for your job.

“I can't…” you managed to say, but he silenced you with a shake of his head.

“Consider it a bonus for teaching the old man how to braid that devil's hair,” he said with amusement and your eyes immediately fell on his daughter who was still looking in the mirror.

“You could have learned that from a YouTube video,” you pointed out, looking back at him. “For free,” you added, raising your eyebrows.

Joel just smiled wider and shrugged. “And yet you taught me that.”

You looked at him for a moment, looking for any sign of doubt, but eventually you gave up. you snorted under your breath, shaking your head in disbelief and pocketed the money.

“Well, thank you…” you started to say but stopped when you saw the piece of paper he was holding out towards you. Hesitantly, you took a thick piece of paper and looked at the series of printed numbers.

“In case you need someone to build you a house… or something…” he explained with a grimace and scratched the back of his neck in stress. You stared at the business card with his phone number and your heart sped up several times. He actually gave you his number with the stupidest excuse you've ever heard.

You smiled widely and looked up at him. He was stressed and it was visible to the naked eye. You laughed softly, still in shock.

“The 'or something' option seems more likely to me,” you wrinkled your nose with a smug grimace. Joel's smile immediately grew bigger. He snorted under his breath and nodded at your words, feeling a stone fall from his chest.

He was stressed like a teenager. It was so stupid and yet so exciting.

“Yeah, okay…” he nodded, swallowing hard.

Sarah ran over to you two and snuggled into her dad's side. You both looked at her and each of you knew that everyone had left happy with the whole situation. Sarah saw it in her father's eyes. In the way he breathed so easily.

“Thank you, ma'am, I love the colors and the hairstyle,” the girl said. You smiled warmly at her.

“It's me to thank you. It was nice to meet you."

With that, Sarah shook your hand. “I hope we see each other again someday,” she said, making your and Joel's eyes meet for a moment.

“I don't doubt it,” you winked at her and she laughed and snuggled into her father's side again.

“It was nice for me too,” he added, squeezing your hand and kissing the back of it. You stared at it as if enchanted because it wasn't an everyday sight. His stubble irritated your skin, sending shivers down your spine. You forced a sweet smile in response, not trusting yourself enough to speak up. Sarah gave you one last wave before she and her father disappeared into the crowd of other people.

Only then did your eyes fall back on the small business card in your hand. You read the row of numbers again, feeling your heart beat hard in your chest. You bit your lip as your smile widened. What a day…

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me Professor (Chapter 57 - The Final Chapter)

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

Healing. There would be an infinite amount of healing to do; though over the next six months there were little victories that aided in the process. Will plead guilty. It was an act that everyone was shocked about and ultimately it spared Carol a lot of extra heartache that she didn’t deserve. The evidence was already stacked against him, but now that Will admitted guilt, Carol would not have to sit on a stand as a defense lawyer grilled her and tried to twist her trauma around. For that, everyone was thankful.

Upon a leave of absence for the remainder of the school year, Carol returned to her job in September. In turn, she received a standing ovation from the student body and gained the full support of the staff there. Again, another part of the healing process. I knew Carol was hurting, but she persevered and thrived in her profession. She was going to make it because that’s what women like Carol did. They rose above. They made it.

“She even started coaching volleyball,” Joel informed me. “She was all-state in her younger days.”

Joel. My Joel. I had no issue calling him that all the time now. I tried to prove him wrong every day, and after a little bit of time and a lot of convincing I think it’s clear to him now that I will forever keep his secrets.

He went into a temporary retirement, and I changed my mind and pursued the rest of my Master’s Degree online. Without having to twist my arm too much, Joel convinced me to travel a bit to get away from New York State for a short while. It was therapeutic, to say the least.

I allowed him to take me to Nashville near the end of the summer, and then over to the Grand Canyon. We spent two weeks exploring California, extending our stays from a little ranch near the Joshua Tree, up to San Diego where I unsuccessfully tried surfing and concluding in wine country as autumn really set in. We hiked Washington State, made our way to Yellowstone Park, spent a few romantic nights on Lake Michigan before making it back to the East Coast in time for Halloween, where we crashed the small city of Salem, Massachusetts. It was the perfect ending, really.

Joel found us some cheap masks, and we blended in with the crowds that literally paraded every downtown street in the area. It was welcomed chaos and we spent the day taking pictures with spooky characters, sharing laughs, having some drinks and waiting in lines to slink into shops littered with folklore and magic.

When a light rain began near nightfall, Joel towed me away to a rooftop bar at the top of our hotel where he’d made a reservation earlier in the day. A gentle pitter-patter on the roof of the outdoor patio where we sat was relaxing. It was soothing music to our ears after a day of crowds.

From where we towered above the world, we could see two lighthouses in the distance over the blackened water. Below, people still gathered by the masses for whatever attraction, bar or restaurant they were seeking - if anyone.

“Here are your drinks.” A waitress came back to our two-person, high-top table with a pair of martinis and I sighed as she walked away.

“Ready to go home?” Joel asked, smirked as he placed a hand gently on top of mine.

My fingers squeezed around his and I nodded. “This has been a wild ride.”

“Happy Halloween.”

I grinned again and raised my glass. “Happy Halloween.” Our glasses tapped together and Joel leaned two-thirds of the way across to peck my lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed me another time and then settled back in his chair. At the same time, we took sips from our drinks and I felt my body relax.

“This has been great,” I told him, unable to think of another adjective. “It really revived me.” I gave a nod and looked him in the eye. “How do you feel?”

“A lot better.” He grinned and added, “Thank you for sticking by me. You had every right to run in the opposite direction. You still do.”

“Dr. Miller,” I said sternly, making him chuckle. “I’m going to need you to stop trying to convince me to leave you. Unless you’re secretly trying to get rid of me.” I sipped on my cocktail and kept my eyes on his.

Joel leaned forward, never breaking eye contact. “I would never want that.”

“Then stop saying things like that,” I ordered lightheartedly, leaning back toward him just a little bit.

“Okay,” he agreed, “I’ll work on it.”

“Thank you.” When he lingered, I leaned forward and left a long, closed-mouth kiss on his lips. When I pulled back he was grinning and I chuckled.

“I’m thinking the exact opposite of that, actually.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I want you to be with me forever.”

I felt a blush form on my cheeks and I couldn’t help but smile wider. When Joel leaned back, reaching a hand into the pocket of his khaki pants, I felt like my body went numb. And then he pulled out a small, black box and pushed it across the table. I was frozen. My eyes were glued to the box and if it was anything other than what I thought it was, I knew it would be like a kid opening an empty box on Christmas.

“What’s this?” My words barely made it out past my lips.

Joel’s eyes remained on mine as he opened the box. My eyes dropped, staring at the silver ring in the center of it. A Diamond sparkled even in the dim lighting.

“Marry me,” he said quietly, linking his hands to mine on either side of the ring.

“Marry me.” I repeated the words to myself to make sure I heard them right. “Marry me.”

“Marry me,” Joel said again.

My gaze found his again and finally the tears that welded up in my eyes were tears of joy. “Okay.” I laughed and cried at the same time, “I’ll marry you.”

“Yeah?” He kept his voice quiet as mine grew louder, drawing a few glances from other patrons in our direction.

“Yeah.” I giggled and put my face in my hands as I continued to cry at the same time. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Joel!” I popped my face up. “Yes! Yes!” People were staring at us now and Joel looked around the immediate area, giving a wave and a smile before returning his attention to me. He reached for the ring in the small, black box and slid the ring on my finger.

I jumped up from my seat and I couldn’t help it. I rushed around the table and threw my arms around him, pulling him in to kiss him hard.

“I thought Halloween was a fitting night for us to get engaged,” Joel admitted, holding me close as he spoke in my ear. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“It’s perfect.” I whispered back, holding him close as my fingers gripped the hair on the back of his head. “I love you.”

“Did you two just get engaged?” A female voice shouted from a few tables away.

We both pulled back, still holding onto one another and I responded by showing off my ring. “Yes.”

The costume-clad crowd in the immediate area all began to clap and I couldn’t contain my wide, beaming smile and the tears that continued to fall. When a waitress got wind of it, she brought us over a bottle of complimentary champagne.

“I know it hasn’t even been a year since we’ve known each other,” Joel said, “But life is too short to wait. You changed my life, (Y/N). I’ve never loved or trusted someone more than you. I don’t want to ever risk letting that go.”

“I know how you feel.” We shared another kiss and then took our glasses toward the edge of the balcony that overlooked Salem. I couldn’t help but smile to myself.

A breeze passed through and made me shudder, causing Joel to pull me close.

“Any regrets?” He asked.

I smiled up at him. “None, whatsoever.”

**Thank you everyone for following this story. I appreciate everyone reading, reviewing and following. It made it fun to write. This is the longest story I've ever written and it's been fun because people were interacting and guessing whole the killer was and I loved it. It made it great for me, as a writer. So THANK YOU!

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandojojo @shotgun-shelby @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676 @smolbeanzzz @bandluvr97

[talaok]

Your writing is absolutely fantastic 😭 Can i request a Joel x reader fic?

I was thinking reader and Joel are together and during the events at the hospital they are both there. While they’re being taken out of the hospital by the fireflies and Joel knocks them out reader is like “let’s go get our daughter” and it’s basically them both saving her. Angsty but happy ending because maybe Ellie didn’t actually want to do it and reader being so scared to lose Ellie. Just them being scared and then happy they get to be a family in Jackson 😭

I don't know if I did exactly what you wanted but I tried 

"let's go get her"

Your fingers gripped the heavy rifle as, with only a nod, he made his way up the stairs, towards her, towards the light.

The thumps of your heart filled your eardrums as you followed his heavy footsteps, always a step behind him, but always in reach.

He was not gonna lose both of you today.

You froze as the first man stumbled in front of you, but Joel didn't even blink as he pulled the trigger.

The loud bang echoed off the walls as he fell to the ground like a brown leaf in autumn.

Joel turned to you, small splatters of red stained parts of his face and neck, but his warm eyes were as caring as ever.

"I'm ok" you answered without needing to be asked 

"for her" you nodded, reminding yourself as the body, the man, lay on the cold and dirty tiles "It's for her"

He grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly, as if wanting to gift you of all of his courage.

"For her" he repeated.

What came next could have been ten minutes, just like it could have been hours.

You followed him in a focused trance, helping him get rid of all the obstacles in your way, obstacles, that were men, and whose screams were gonna haunt your days and nights 'till the end of your time on this earth.

But it didn't matter, because two simple words were all that filled your mind and ears as you chanted them over and over.

For her.

For Ellie.

Because for her, you would have done anything. 

Because she deserved, everything.

She deserved a life, one not made of pain and suffering, but one made of everything else there was to have, of everything else she could ever get. And if it came to fighting for it. Then you were gonna fight,

for her.

And only once you watched her in Joel's arms, did you realize how you had left a part of it out.

it wasn't only for her, but for you too, because without realizing it, she had made her way into your life, and with that, into your heart, because as much as you liked to believe she needed you- you needed her the most, and so did Joel.

That's why you gripped Joel's hand and your heart felt about to combust once she woke up.

You had decided you were gonna tell her the truth, and that meant that she could either hate you for the rest of her life, or understand, not fully, but partially at least.

"What happened?" her voice was quiet, seemingly scared, as she finally asked you what had been hovering over your heads for the past hours.

she had woken up in the car but said nothing until you were an hour into your hike toward Jackson.

Both you and Joel stopped, briefly shooting each other a glance before focusing on her.

"We took you away," you said bluntly, gulping your nerves away.

"why?"

"They wanted to hurt you" 

"wh- how?"

"they were gonna kill you" Joel now spoke, his voice rumbling deep from his chest.

Something flashed behind Ellie's eyes, and you felt a pang in your chest.

"Did anybody get hurt?" She asked, making your eyes tremble before you spoke.

"yes"

She paused for a moment, looking between you.

"Marlene?"

And at that, you could not do anything but nod quietly.

"fuck" she sighed, looking around at the forest and then at the town hidden down the hills.

You took a step towards her.

"I'm sorry Ellie" was all that came to mind as you got closer "I... fuck I don't know" you confessed, now right in front of her as she gave you her back "But it isn't your fault, none of it," you said "I promise"

Joel got close too and you heard her take a shaky breath before she turned to you.

Her eyes were glassy, a tear already making its way to her jaw.

"I could have saved the world" her voice broke

"I know" a tear fell to your own cheek "but... but it wasn't fair- I just... I couldn't do it" You glanced at Joel, who nodded "We couldn't"

And before you knew it, her arms were wrapped around your torso, holding you tighter than you'd ever been held.

"I'm sorry" you sniffled, wrapping your own arms around her "I'm sorry Ellie"

"don't be" she spoke as tiny sobs fled her mouth 

Both your eyes were closed, and it was only when you felt Joel's hand on both your backs, that you realized he had reached you too.

"It's over now" he promised, his own voice shaky "It's gonna be alright" he vowed, to you, but just the same to himself.

because it was you now. Only you. And no one was ever gonna try to take that away from him without a fight.

"It's over"

[romanarose]

HAPPY 2K LOVELY YOU DESERVE IT AND SOOO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOO!!!!!!1

anyway

UMMM you know me and you know i would BEG for any TWW crumbs...

pls....pls im so hungry its lonely out here without them please.......

MY BELOVED CLEM!!!

The Wrong Way (Joel Miller X reader)

Takes place around chapter 8, during her pregnancy but before brotherhood bonus chapter (which if you havn't read, it really adds to joel and tommys relationship.)

Sick Day

The moment you woke up, before you even opened your eyes, you knew something was wrong.

You woke up from a nightmare, but that was nothing new. Last nights was... hard. That's for sure. Things had been going so well, the little bump on your stomach swelling so slightly, evidence that you hadn't fucked this up...

You dreamed you miscarried, and Joel was mad at you again. You dreamed you were back in the old room, with your mattress on the floor and the boarded up window, suffering the things you endured before.

You dreamed Joel strung up Zach and skinned him like Nick. You could still smell the blood. Thinking maybe the horror you dreamed of was messing with your stomach, you ignore it. There was too much to be done. Jack had constructed a washboard for you, and you wanted to scrub down all the clothes that hadn't gotten a proper wash in years. You washed them, of course, but this was even better. Also, you actually had enough to make no bake cookies! Lorenzo's birthday was tomorrow, and it's been too hot to bake, so this was perfect. And as always, there was your garden to tend to, your chickens, not to mention cleaning up after the 8 different men living in the house. They were not clean. Except Jack.

Still... there was no harm in laying her for a bit, at least until Joel woke up. Maybe he'd eat you out this morning if you asked nicely... he was quite indulgent with you since the pregnancy.

"Morn'n, little one" He mumbles in your ear, and you smile. Sun was shining in, making for your favorite part of the day. Spending quiet time with Joel. Mornings were just for you and him. Making love was sweet if you did it, conversation was light, if at all. You liked talking to Joel, a lot actually, but something about his quiet strength, his protective arm around you and hand on your stomach, the gentle kisses in your hair...

When it was time to get up, Joel would sit you on the bed naked and look through to closet at the mass of dresses he'd acquired for you. He'd start with your underwear, then socks, knealing at the bed to put them on, then your shoes. Then, he'd stand up up and put on a bra. Finally, Joel would slide the dress over your head, and the smile he gave you when your head popped out always stated your day off right.

The hair. Joel liked to sit you between his legs on the bed, comb through your hair and hum. You liked when he hummed. Most of the time he kept your hair down but sometimes he put a ribbon in. You'd put your handkerchief in your hair when he was out, it was more practical.

You would spend all day waiting for him to get home again.

Joel rocked his hips into you, feeling his bulge up against your ass. He was in his boxers, and although you'd gone to bed in a shirt and a pair of his boxers, you'd pulled them off in the middle of the night when it got hot. Sure, you could've pulled Joel's arm off you too... but you didn't want that.

Now, you realized how hot it had gotten in the room.

"Gonna be warm today" You mumble to him, kissing a vein on his arm. "Dont be out too long. Don't want you getting heat stroke."

There was a pause before he spoke. "Aren't you cold?"

"Hm?" You shift, turning to look at him where he's frowning. "No, it's so hot-" You stop when he presses a hand to your forehead, then jolts up.

"Christ little one, you're burning up."

The way he exits the bed so fast hurt you.

"Joel, Im fine-" You try to insist, standing up to try and stop him while you wrapped the blanket around you body. Not like everyone here except Lorenzo hasn't seen you naked, and you aren't exactly Lorenzo's type. Still, when you stand, a wave of dizziness washed over you and you stumble, eyes crossing as the world unfocuses.

"Shit!" Joel dives to catch you, stopping your pregnant body from falling into a side table. He's gentle as he picks you up and placed you onto the bed, but once again goes to leave. You feel alone.

*

Joel rushes to the kitchen, trying to find a rag. Shit, what did you do with the rags? Everything in here was rearranged.

The slamming of draws and cabininates must've woken Lorenzo.

"What the hell is your fucking problem." Jesus christ, his Boston accent was OUT when he just wakes up.

Joel slammed the cabinet next to the oven. "A rag! Jesus christ, it shouldn't be-" When he turned, Joel saw Lorenzo stand butt naked, rubbing his eyes. "PUT YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES ON!" He bellows, but Lorenzo is unphased, brushing past Joel with bare hips to grab a rag from the drawer next to the sink.

"She likes them here because she hates her hands feeling wet."

Avoiding looking at his cock just... hanging there, Lorenzo equally avoids looking at Joel's boner.

"I'm not even gonna ask what that's for, you sickos" and begins to walk away, but Joel snaps at him.

"She's sick, asshole. Running a fever. We got any medicine?" He wets the rag.

Lorenzo's face shifts into concern. Joel knew you two had grown close over the course of the months he replaced Tommy. It was inevitable, you were precious, funny as all hell and a way at worming your way into peoples hearts. He couldn't understand how your dad had hurt such a sweet little thing so bad and for so long.

"For fucks sake Lorenzo go find some medicine!"

"Jesus!" He throws his hands in the air, walking back to his room. "Let me put some clothes on first!"

Joel shook his head, heading toward you again. "Sleeping naked while you have a roommate is fucking weird, hermano."

"I don't hear Jack complaining."

When Joel opened the door, he saw your eyes flash open. You'd been crying. He drops to his knees at your bedside, feeling you forehead again. "What's wrong, darl'n? Something hurting you?"

"I thought you left..." You sob. "I thought.... I thought you left me..."

His heart breaks at the idea you were crying over him. "No, no baby I left to get- here." He places the cool compress on your forehead and hears you breath a sigh of releif.

"Why would I leave you?"

"I figured... I figured you didn't wanna catch what I have."

He sighed, settling in at your side. "Baby girl... you nursed me all day long when I had explosive diahriah and vomiting from food sickness..." Joel says with a smile, laying his head on the bed. "I can stay by your side when you're sick."

You shake your head. "There's so much to do! The chickens, the garden, your work- Joel I gotta-"

"Shhhhh, little one, shhhh. My work can wait, and Lorenzo will know what to do with the chickens and garden, yeah?"

"Yeah." You sniffle. "But he's scared of chickens, remember?"

Joel can't help but laugh at that. "Yeah, but I think he can feed them, and Aziz can get the eggs, okay? Darl'n..." He placed his hand on your stomach. "We gotta take care of the baby, okay? Just rest. I'll take care of both of you."

A knock on the door.

Joel made sure your were covered under the blanket before beckoning Lorenzo in.

"This is all I got, boss. Maybe next time we focus a little less on getting another fuck'n onsie and maybe get some damn medcine."

"Shut the hell up." Joel turns to you. "What are you symtoms. Be honest."

It was nausea, fever, head ache, body aches, and you had a sore throat. A flu, probably... Lorezno had found thermometer, but Joel made him stick it in boiling water before using it on you. Only dirty thing going in your mouth was his cock after a long day.

100.3

Normally, nothing crazy for an adult but for a pregnant woman?

All they had for medicine was some old pepto and a couple cough drops Joel used during the day, but nothing helped the fever. He laid with you as you went through flashes, holding you close during the chills and wiping your face off during the hot, always by your side, always right there when you needed to throw up. Joel's arms were your steady grasp.

After vomiting up the rice he tried to give you for lunch int he toilet, Joel scooped you up again from the bathroom floor after gently cleaning your face. There hadn't been time when taking you from the bed to grab the blanket, so walking back Joel just carried you naked back to bed. He carried you like he always did, like a child under his care, your arm wrapped around him and face tucked into his neck... He wrapped his hands under your butt to cover you.

When you were back on the bed, sleeping before you head hit the pillow, he checked your tempature again. 102.3.

"I'll be right back, beautiful girl. Hold on tight for me, please? I need you both... I need you to be okay."

*

It was late when the fever broke, it was already growing dark and you had the faint taste of cherry in your mouth. Strange. The room was empty and dark and scary without him, and you hadn't remembered a thing from the last few hours.

"Joel?" No answer. "JOEL?"

Joel rushed in, glass of water quickly set ont he side table as he wet to hold you at your stomach. "What's wrong? Are you hurting? Is the baby okay?"

You nod, quickly. "I just... I didn't know where you were. I was scared."

He breathes a sigh of relief. "Just went to get you water... I see you're finally awake." Joel's calloused hands brush a lock of hair out of your face, sticky with dried sweat.

"I smell really bad." Joel huffs a laugh. "It's okay, we'll take a bath tonight. That sounds good?"

You smile "Yeah, sounds nice... I feel a lot better."

"I'm glad, little one. Ain't every gonna let noth'n happen t'yuh"

*

Watching the water boil on the stove as the cold water poured into the tub, Jack comes inside from helping Aziz gather eggs.

"Hey, thanks for riding out so far. You made it in record time, I think." Joel was sencier.

Jack gave a quick nod. He was a man of few words.

"Hey, uh, don't- and tell Lorenzo this too, don't tell her where the medicine came from. Just... we found it here, alright? She don't need tah be think'n 'bout him again."

Jack gave another nod, and almost went to bed... then he turned around. "You ain't gonna kill me for talk'n to him still, are yuh?"

Joel shook his head, turning off the stove. "Long as you don't go betray'n me or nothing like that. I'd havta kill yuh then, but... nah, not for this."

Jack was Joel's only connect to Jackson, to Tommy... and it came in handy today. He doubted his little wife and baby would have survived the fever without the medicine.

**************

Im literally so behind on my asks this was from my 2000 follower celebration MONTHS AGO

dont fucking look at me lmfao

if this all interests you, check out the wrong way BUT BEWARE WARNINGS!!!!

thanks for everyone who read!!!!

follow @romana-updates and click follow to keep up!

tagging a few who might be interested

@my-secret-shame (for lorenzo) @miraclesabound @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @milla-frenchy @pimosworld @lunar-ghoulie @gogh-with-the-flow @justagalwhowrites @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

[bluebeary-jay]

hiii!! I LOVE ur writing so much especially your fluff sooooooo

fluff w this prompt?

“fine, keep acting like you hate me.”

CONGRATS ON 1K U DESERVE ITTT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

HIIII MY FIRST LOVELY 1K REQUESTER 💕💕💕

Okay okay okay so you didn't specify which character you want so I picked Javi cause I already have a few Joels in my ask box buuut I'm actually really happy with how it turned out so I hope you'll like it!! ((There's so much fluff in this one though it's only 1.4K words))

Thank you again, darling, happy reading and i love youu!!! 💖

Javier knew that he made a mistake.

Maybe not a mistake – mistakes so very often had grave consequences in his line of work. More like a miscalculation. A stupid prank.

“A mistake,” Steve told him sternly. “You absolute moron.”

Peña just flipped him off.

Okay, maybe flirting with that secretary in your plain sight was a dumb move, but at the time it seemed like a perfect retaliation. And really, it was you who started all of it by wanting to prove to Javier the night before that he does get jealous when it comes to you.

He didn’t. He doesn’t. What he felt when you let that man at the bar flirt with you for at least twenty minutes had nothing to do with the fervor of hot kisses and passionate words that poured out of Javier after he whisked you back home.

“You were practically green,” you said softly later that night when you two were lying in bed. You had your head on Javier’s chest and he was stroking the skin of your back softly, trying to silence the whirlwind of conflicted emotions inside of him.

“F’course I wasn’t. Just had to make sure that guy wasn’t gonna try anything with you.”

“If you say so. But I think you’re full of it.”

You acted so smug about it, and only stopped after Javier completely tired you out. But what he tried to hide by biting your ear gently and kissing his way down your body was how true your words really rang.

Because deep down Javier Peña knew that he was jealous. He had a good reason for it, of course – you were fucking gorgeous, after all, and maybe he was still slightly insecure about what such a sweet angel was doing with a sinner like him. And besides… This was the first serious relationship he had in years. It was hard to separate the wary side of him that instinctively denied any sentiments and kept everyone at bay from the new him who tried to embrace the warmth and safety your love was giving him.

So that was probably why he decided to get back at you.

And the next day when you stepped out of the chief's office, you were greeted with a sight of Javier tucking the hair behind the ear and complimenting the earrings of the new secretary he was talking to. He made eye contact above her shoulder and sent you a wink when you squinted with disregard, obviously knowing what he was up to.

He also made sure you saw him swiping his bottom lip slowly with his thumb – a move he very well knew always got you hot and bothered.

Though when he looked up again, you were gone.

Maybe he could’ve guessed it’d end like this, Javier thought as he casually (and not at all nervously) walked around the embassy, looking for you. It was supposed to be a payback – for what exactly, even he didn’t know – but it backfired immensely when after his little stunt you opted to avoid him the rest of the day.

And that was a low blow. Because while your attempts at ignoring him were futile, only serving to get Javier going and making him eager to rile you up and see you break, it didn’t give him the same satisfaction when you weren’t there to witness his teasing.

Since you worked in the same building, you couldn’t exactly avoid him forever, but damn if you didn’t try. It took Javier half a day to finally escape work and manage to corner you in one of the file rooms.

You didn’t look up even when he locked the door, obviously aware that it was him you now were trapped with.

“You sure are good at hiding from a DEA agent, cariño,” Javier rasped, a little breathless but weirdly excited from the chase.

But you didn’t move, still casually gathering necessary files. A hint of a smile was dancing in the corner of your mouth and that was the thing that confirmed his suspicions that you weren’t actually mad at him, but only beating him as his own game.

And honestly, as Javier’s eyes wandered over your silhouette, admiring the beauty of the woman he fell in love with, he was willing to let it go.

He slowly sauntered to you, feeling all hot under his suit the closer he got. You always seemed to have this effect on him.

“Are you still mad?” he asked huskily, circling you like you’re his prey. You lifted your shoulder in a half-shrug, and your fake disinterest only turned him on even more. He snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you against him and humming with satisfaction when he saw you pressing your lips together to suppress a smile. “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, querida.”

You didn’t take the bait like he hoped for, and Peña groaned in small frustration when you continued to give him the silent treatment.

For fuck’s sake, you really had him wrapped around your little finger.

“Fine,” he murmured, breathing hot air on your ear and smirking with delight when he felt you shiver slightly against him. He pressed his lips to the spot below your ear softly, and then continued to go down the column of your neck. “Keep acting like you hate me.”

You didn’t move or acknowledge him in any way, but Javier could see your hand, which was previously sorting through some papers, gripping the shelf as if you tried not to lose yourself in his ministrations. It made him smile to himself and wrap his arms more securely around you, forcing you to take half a step back so that your bodies fitted together perfectly.

“We both know that’s all it is. An act,” Javier murmured, peppering your neck and shoulder in slow, tender kisses. He sighed heavily, with peace he rarely experienced these days, and closed his eyes as he felt your form melting into him. “Serás mi muerte, bebita.”

You stifled a laugh and leaned your head back on Javier’s shoulder, glancing at him with twinkling eyes. “What are you even doing here, agent Peña? Didn’t you have some unfinished business with that secretary?”

“Why, you jealous?” he asked, nibbling at your skin, and you snorted.

“You wish,” you replied but then squealed when he bit your neck unexpectedly.

“Mi nena terca.”

You stopped hiding your beautiful, radiant smile and turned around in his arms, leaning back against the shelf. Javier kept his hand between the small of your back and the harsh metal, not wanting it to dig into your skin uncomfortably.

“You didn’t last very long,” you said, but now your tone was soft, with no traces of mockery or playfulness he heard earlier. “I thought that given how things once were, I’d be the one to eventually seek you out.”

“It’s ‘cause I don’t wanna go back to how things were,” he whispered, his eyes boring into yours, trying to convey to you that he meant every word. “I don’t care about anyone else, bebita. You are the one for me and I want you to know that.”

“I know, Javi,” you reassured him gently, brushing some hair away from his forehead. “You don’t need to explain.”

“Still.” He nudged your nose with yours, inching his lips closer to where he desperately yearned to put them. “Let me make it up to you. Take you out. Somewhere romantic, not that dingy bar like the last time.”

“Because you don’t want to see me flirting with strangers?”

Your seemingly innocent question made the hold he had on you tighten, and Javier exhaled heavily through his nose.

“Fuck, bebita, have you seen yourself? Of course I don’t. You are mine, and mine alone.” He planted a soft kiss on your lips, not looking away for even a second. “And I’m yours.”

It didn’t feel weird, anymore, to say it. It felt right and warm, and wonderful. Javier never would’ve guessed he’d feel like that about anyone, but here you were – so perfect and standing right in front of him.

“I really wanna kiss you,” you whispered, and he mirrored your bright smile, something very few people have ever seen.

“Just to shut me up? Or have you perhaps missed me, too?”

Your lips surged forward, smashing into his eagerly and not bothering to answer him. Agent Peña let the overwhelming love for you guide his movements as he cradled the back of your head and pulled you closer and flush against himself.

Seemed that from the very beginning he didn’t need to feel jealous.

It was clear that you were his and his only.

Serás mi muerte, bebita - You’ll be the death of me, baby

Mi nena terca - My stubborn baby

[sugarcoated-lame]

hehehehehe YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!! 🤭💕

as argumentative and as stubborn as he's been for the last years, jackson brought out the softer side to him. he cares deeply about the people closest to him, and he hates confrontation and potentially hurting the people he loves.

!!!!! exactly this seb!! ^

being in jackson and being safe for the first time in a long time, and finally having his own version of a family in ellie and tommy — and now you — his own little slice of happiness in this cruel world, has allowed Joel to finally let his guard down a bit and express his emotions more openly with the ones he loves 🥺

and you’re so right about Joel feeling immense guilt when his emotions get the best of him in the moment and he gets heated. because he already feels like he’s not good enough, like he doesn’t deserve you or deserve to have something so good in his life with all of the terrible things he’s done, and in his mind it’s inevitable that you’re going to leave him eventually, so when you walked away from him, he thought this is it.

and playing the guitar to self-soothe, yessss yes yes! joel’s already mourning the loss of the happiness you’ve brought him, wallowing in his self-pity and kicking himself for his stubbornness to push you away. but it’s the same stubbornness that doesn’t allow him to go to you and apologize just yet, and he figures that it’s easier for you to hate him because you’re better off without him.

so when you do come back to him, Joel is shocked to put it lightly. shocked that you haven’t given up on him, that he hasn’t completely ruined things, that he hasn’t failed you like he feels he’s failed everyone else he’s ever truly cared about in his life. and you’re absolutely right that he’d feel guilty when he hears your murmured apology, feeling like he should’ve been the one to say it first. but at the end of the day joel’s just thanking whatever beings in the universe were on his side to bring you back to him, because he knows that life is too short — especially in this post-apocalyptic world — and he’s just happy have you back in arms and bringing a warmth, a light to his life that he doesn’t think he could go without now.

AND HELL YEAH FOR MAKE-UP SEX!!!!

calling back to joel’s words from one of my favorite moments season one, of “gentle, steady. nice and slow.” that’s exactly how the make-up sex would be. joel would carry you to his bed, holding onto you like you’re the most precious thing in the world — and in his world, you are — placing you gingerly down on his bed and kissing you until you’re dizzy and breathless.

taking his time and removing your clothes slowly, leaving a trail of hot kisses over every perfect inch of skin that’s revealed to him. worshipping your body and showing you with his actions just how much he loves you, how much he never wants to lose you.

but ALSO showing you with his words as he whispers little ‘i’m sorry, darlin’s and ‘love you so much, baby’s from between your thighs as he pulls you apart slowly with his fingers and tongue. burying himself in your cunt until he’s drunk on the taste of you and you’re pulling on his gray curls, crying out from the overstimulation as he pulls orgasm after orgasm out of you, the wiry hairs of his beard against your oversensitive skin almost becoming too much.

and only when he’s made you fall apart at least thrice on his fingers and on his tongue, does joel fuck you — missionary so he can be as close to you as humanly possible, warm brown eyes looking down at you in adoration and admiration as he watches the way your eyes roll back and your lips part in a silent cry as he finally fills you.

fucking you oh so slow and deep so you feel every inch of him, every ridge of his cock dragging along your tight walls, barely pulling out of you with each thrust because he needs to be close to you, skin on skin, no part of your bodies not touching.

joel kissing your lips feverishly and allowing his tongue to dance with your own as he swallows down all of your cries of pleasure, groaning into your mouth at the feeling of you clenching tight around him as he fucks you deep into the mattress.

feeling you wrapped tight around his cock, walls clamping down like a vice as you fall apart for him one last time, your arms wrapping tight around his shoulders and nails digging into his skin is what sends Joel over the edge.

burying his face in the skin of your neck and letting out a loud, choked groan there as he fills you with the warmth of his release. the two of you staying there for what seems like hours, Joel still inside of you, neither one of you quite ready to let go of the other and just wanting to relish in each others warmth for a little bit longer.

sorrrrry i got a little carried away there 😵‍💫🤭 i too was smacked in the face by the trailer and am in my feels about it, so waxing poetic about that old man is my way of coping i guess LMAOO. i need him, i yearn for him 😭😭 i love him, and i love you seb <3 and i hope you enjoy my ramblings hehe!! 🥰💗💛💗💕

SEBBBBB !!!! MY LOVE 🤍🤍 hello! 🥰 how are you bby??

DID YOU SEE THE NEW TLOU TRAILER?????

omg i am so unwell i’m feeling so many feelings 😭 and LOOK AT HIMMM 🥺 jackson joel our beloved <3

anyway, i’m in my feels and this gif got me thinking…

that’s joel’s face when he sees you walking up to his porch in the middle of the night after the two of you have had some silly fight, surprised to see you back at his house and immediately stopping the strumming of his guitar.

you knew you’d find him out there playing because that’s what joel always does when he needs to clear his head. you sidle up to him, a bashful look on your face and the two of you just stare at each other for a long moment, apologies traveling wordlessly between his warm brown eyes and your own.

one of joel’s large, calloused hands reaching out for your own, pulling you closer when you take it. a hint of a smile gracing his lips as you move to curl next to him as he shifts his guitar out of your way.

leaning your head on his shoulder, and turning to bury your face in the warmth of his neck, inhaling the familiar, warm and comforting, piny scent that can only be described as joel.

whispering a gentle ‘i’m sorry’ against the soft skin of his throat and punctuating it with a sweet little kiss, at this point not really sure of what the two of you had even argued about anymore. you just know that you missed him and his warmth, and that you don’t feel at home anywhere but in joel’s arms.

and joel feels exactly the same, strong arms wrapping around your middle as you curl up against him, placing the guitar gently atop your lap so that his fingers can go back to strumming a lazy melody while he holds you, the two of you just relishing in the peaceful quiet of the night and each others warm embrace.

sighhhh i need to cuddle with that old man so bad !!! i hope you enjoy this little thot hehe 🤭 ilysm seb, and i hope you have the most wonderful day! mwah 🥰🥰💗🧡💗🤍💕

KRICKET! when i catch you! kricket, when i catch you!

you’re so incredibly real for this thought, my love 🥺 as argumentative and as stubborn as he’s been for the last years, jackson brought out the softer side to him. he cares deeply about the people closest to him, and he hates confrontation and potentially hurting the people he loves. he’ll always slip back into his old ways however and he’ll get heated in the moment, but when it’s over, he’s left with such confusing guilt. he can spiral and think that he’s blown it completely, that he’s lost someone he loves. he plays his guitar to self-soothe and silently wallows in his own pity. but when you come back up to the porch, his heart catches in his throat. he wants to reach out and apologize immediately, but the stubbornness is still in him and he holds back. and because, he just wants to hear you say the inevitable, “i hate you and i am leaving you.” but you don’t and he can finally breathe again. he hears you apologize and he still feels a twang of guilt that he didn’t say it first, but he lets you stay there for a while before he apologizes too. (bonus points for make up sex)

but yes, the trailer SMACKED me in the face and called me emotional, before tearing out my heart and stomping it into the ground 😭 it’s gonna hurt like a fucking bitch 😭 also, hi, hello, my darling angel! 🥹 thank you so much for coming by and sending this incredibly sweet thought! i yearn for him and i yearn to be held by him and tell him it’s going to be all okay 🥺 i love this so much and i love you so much and i hope you have the most wonderufl day, my love! MWAH! 🥹🥰💗🩷💓🫶🏻

[andvys]

Longing (part 2)

Warnings: angst, Ellie is very mean in this one, self doubt, reader feeling worthless

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader, mentions of Dina x reader

A couple of weeks went by since the dance and you started to warm up a little to Ellie, you were still your usual self just a bit nicer. Ellie enjoyed this side of you, she thought about Jesse’s words, maybe there was a chance that you actually liked her at least Ellie hoped you did.

The weather got significantly colder. Ellie and Jesse were currently riding on their horses, through the snow. She noticed he was a little closed off today, not talking much, he seemed sad.

Once they got to the cabin they planned on taking a break in, they got off their horses and walked inside. Jesse checked if the place was safe. Making sure no one got inside.

Ellie sat down on the couch watching him curiously, trying to read him. She wondered if it had something to do with Dina, those two did have the tendency to break up only to get together again a few weeks later.

Jesse could feel Ellie’s eyes on him, sighing he sat down next to her.

“Dina broke up with me last week.” He said, looking down at his hands. Ellie wasn’t surprised at this.

“And you’ll get together again.” Ellie laughed. “You guys break up all the time, I give you guys two weeks until you’re back together.” She said patting his shoulder.

Jesse started shaking his head at that. “Yeah I don’t think so, she’s been spending time with (y/n) lately.”

“So? They’re best friends.” Ellie said, looking at him, confused as to why it was a problem that you and Dina were hanging out.

“Best friends who used to date.” Jesse said.

“Wait what? (Y/n) and Dina? I- wh- how?” Now she was even more confused, when did that happen? She never heard about that. Already feeling jealous without knowing the details.

“That was a long time ago. I mean they weren’t official or anything but yeah they were kinda dating I guess but that was before you came to Jackson.” Jesse said.

“And now you’re worried about (y/n) taking Dina away from you?” She hated to ask him this.

“We aren’t together anymore so she wouldn’t be taking her from me but I saw them together yesterday and she was hugging Dina and it looked like they kissed too.” That hurt. Ellie always dreaded the day you would meet someone and fall in love but why did it have to be Dina. Of course it had to be her, Dina was gorgeous and you’ve known each other forever. Of course you would choose her.

Ellie felt dumb, how could she ever consider that you could feel something for her, hating herself for believing Jesse when he told her that you probably had feelings for her, a few weeks ago. Clearly you didn’t and you were just waiting for the right moment to swoop Dina away. She hated you for making her feel this way, not that you were aware of her feelings but still. She was angry at you, why have you been this nice to her the past few weeks? She was hoping your change of behavior towards her was a sign that you liked her, she was so happy but now she was mad and angry.

“I’m sorry Ellie, I know you like her.” Jesse said getting up he walked towards the small window in the kitchen area, looking out.

Ellie looked down, thinking about this whole situation. She dreaded the next day already. You were paired for patrol together and at first she was excited for a whole day alone with you but now she was anything but excited.

The next day you were waiting for Ellie, standing outside in the cold by your horse, you were trying to warm your hands by rubbing them together. Finally seeing Ellie coming your way, you got on your horse waiting. She came up beside you with her own horse.

“Hey Williams.” You gave her a small smile.

“Hi.” She gave you a curd nod, looking away quickly.

Finding it a bit weird, she’d usually give you at least three sarcastic comments before you even got the chance to say anything. You tried to not think into it too much. She was probably just tired, it was pretty early.

After about an hour of patrolling, you heard the dreading noise of clicking behind one of the buildings you were riding by. You and Ellie gave each other a look, staying quiet you both got off your horses.

Quietly you walked towards the sound with Ellie right behind you, motioning her to stay quiet you counted the infected, there were about six of them. You could easily handle them.

“There’s six of them.” You whispered, looking back at her. “You take the ones on the side I’ll take the ones in the middle.” you ordered.

“Alright.” She gave you a nod before tip toeing closer to them to get a better shot. Not looking where she was going she accidentally kicked a glass bottle away, the sound alerting the clickers. “Ugh fuck.” Ellie grumbled, annoyed at herself.

Getting both of your guns out of your thigh holsters, you quickly shot two of the clickers that came too close to her, grabbing her arm you ran back trying to keep distance from those ugly things. Ellie shot one clicker with her rifle. Leaving three now, she put a few bullets into the other two, leaving the last one for you, she gave you a cocky smirk. Rolling your eyes at her you kept eye contact, shooting the last one without looking at it. Now it was her turn to roll her eyes making you smile.

“Nothing better than killing some infected in the morning.” Ellie snorted at that.

“Yeah right.”

Starting to walk back to your horses you rounded the corner of the building only to have a single runner attack you, catching you off guard. You fell down with it on top of you trying to keep it from biting you.

“(Y/n)!” Ellie screamed running towards you kicking the runner off you, shooting it a few times. “Oh my god, are you okay?!” She grabbed your hands pulling you up. Putting her hands on your face she studied you.

“I- yeah it didn’t get me.” Looking back at her, you noticed the worried look on her face.

“I’m fine Ellie, I’ve had worse, it just caught me off guard.” You reassured her.

“Alright let’s keep moving.” She said, taking her hands off your face, avoiding looking at you.

She got back to her horse, with you right behind her.

After a few hours you decided it was time for a break. You went into one of the safe houses, Ellie wrote your names into the journal.

Getting your backpack off, you sat down on the chair by the table, putting your head in your hands you sighed.

Ellie sat down opposite of you. “You okay?.”

Looking up at her you studied her face for a second “yeah just a little tired, didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Oh why’s that?”

“I stayed at Dina’s place.” Right. She didn’t even want to think about what you were doing. Ellie felt herself getting angry again, she decided to change the topic real quick before she’d say something she’d regret later on.

The rest of the patrol went by smoothly and you just got back to Jackson, both bringing your horses back to the stables.

“So what are you doing today?” You asked Ellie, walking out once you gave your horses off to the stable workers.

“Not much you?” Hoping your answer wasn’t going to be Dina related.

“Dinas coming over.” Of course.

Now she was really annoyed, she huffed rolling her eyes. You noticed that, confused about her reaction “is something wrong?” You asked.

“Nope everything is perfect.”

“Stop lying, I noticed the annoyed look on your face back at the house already when I mentioned Dina.”

Ellie stopped walking, looking at you.

“Jesse told me about you guys.”

Confused, you didn’t know what she was talking about.

“What do you mean?” You asked her.

She let out a laugh.

“He saw you and Dina kissing.” She said aggressively.

“I- what?!” Why did Jesse say that, you did not kiss her. He must’ve misunderstood something.

“I didn’t kiss Dina.”

“Yeah right, you think I believe you over Jesse?”

“What has gotten into you? Even if I did kiss her what’s it to you?” You were getting angry now, you were accused of something you didn’t do and even if you did why did she treat you like you did something horrible.

“Jesse is my best friend and he’s hurt cause Dina broke up with him probably because of you.” She started walking away.

“Oh my god, this is ridiculous.” This made her turn around looking at you.

“No you are ridiculous no wait- actually you’re a home wrecker that’s what you are. You were just waiting for them to break up didn’t you? Right when Jesse is out of the picture you go and swoop Dina away not even giving them a chance to figure things out.” She said angrily, this really wasn’t her. You have never seen her like that.

You couldn’t believe her, she didn’t even give you a chance to talk. Shaking your head you turned to leave not wanting to hear any of the crap she was throwing at you. Clearly she was in a bad mood and she decided to take it out on you.

“You’re just a distraction you know that right?!” Stopping at her words you turned around, even though there was nothing going on between you and Dina you still wanted to hear what she had to say to you, wanting to know what the girl thought of you.

“You’re a distraction and a replacement for Jesse just like you’re the replacement for me with Joel. Do you really think Dina would want you? Or that Joel had some sort of fatherly feelings for you? I was gone so he filled in the gap with you.” She threw these words at you without even considering the damage they would cause.

You looked at her with a hurt expression. Already feeling the sadness coming back up. But Ellie was far from done.

“No one wants you (y/n), no one fucking wants you and no one needs you. Do you really think that anyone would choose you if they could have anyone else but you?!” Ellie told herself to stop but she couldn’t, she was so angry at you even though you did nothing wrong. How could she tell you that no one wanted you when she was the one who wanted you the most.

You stood there taken aback by her. No one has ever hurt you like that just with words, not even your own father and you always thought he was horrible. No. This side of Ellie was horrible. What have you done to her to deserve this? You could feel your bottom lip trembling and your eyes were filled with tears, blinking them away.

“You-.” Not letting her hurt you more you interrupted her.

“Shut. Up. Literally shut up. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I never kissed Dina there’s nothing going on between her and I. Even if I had feelings for her, which I don’t. I would never act on them, Jesse is my friend I would never get between them and hurt him. I’m not looking to replace anyone. Like you just said no one wants me so how I could I replace anyone in the first place?” You said, angrily wiping your tears away.

“How could you accuse Joel of replacing you with me when you were the one who abandoned him? You were like a daughter to him and you left him for whatever stupid reason you had. This man would’ve done anything for you and you just pushed him away from you. Do you really think anyone could replace you? Let alone me? Be a little bit more grateful for the people that care about you and start appreciating them before they get taken away from you and stop focusing on unimportant things Williams.” Not giving her a chance at saying anything you glanced at her one last time before walking away, leaving her standing there alone. Feeling the tears streaming down your face, you rushed home. Ellie really hurt you. You two have never been on good terms but she has never said anything this hurtful towards you, especially not like that.

Ellie watched you leave. Realizing all the things she just said to you, she ran a hand down her face sighing “fuck.” She wiped a single tear away. Regretting all the bullshit she just threw at you she knew she fucked up, real bad.

Once you got home, you shut the door, leaning against it you were breathing heavily, sliding down you started crying even harder.

Replaying Ellie’s words in your head, you were reminded of your father. How he always made it clear that you were unwanted, you were nothing but a burden to him, he left you damaged but having Joel and Dina helped you. They made you feel like you were important, like you deserved to be loved but Ellie just crushed all of that. She made you doubt yourself again, leaving you feeling worthless.

You know that if it was anyone else telling you this you’d tell them to go screw themselves but Ellie had a different effect on you, having her hurt you like this hurt you more than you wanted to admit. You didn’t expect this day to turn out this way. Thinking back to how excited you were in the morning to actually spend some time alone with Ellie you almost started laughing, knowing how Ellie actually felt about you hurt bad.

You could never look at her the same again, she made her hatred towards you pretty clear today. You two have never been close but you felt like it was getting a little better lately. How wrong you were. Where would you go from here?

[retroellie]

Ellie Williams as a mom

Summary: Ellie and Joel daughter!reader as moms <3

A/N: I’m not done with requests but this was in my head so i had to do it :)  Also sorry i haven’t been active, i have literally had no motivation at all lmao. 

Warnings: Mentions of NSFW, mentions of miscarriage (not really but just incase) 

Word count: 1.5K 

- When you found out you were pregnant, oh my lord she was so excited. (Lets just say y’all were planning it so it’s not like the dina situation) 

-You guys keep in on the down low for a minute just so you know your pregnant and your not gonna lose the baby

-It literally eats her up inside cause she wants to show you off

-Once you get past like 3 months, you can’t really hide it anymore so the first person you tell is your dad (Joel) 

-Joel is so happy oml he could cry 

-Than slowly everyone finds out, everyone loved you and ellie so this baby wasn’t just yours it was the community’s 

-Everyone was happy for the two of you 

-Ellie was the most excited though, she loved every single thing about you being pregnant 

-She would caress your belly, giving it soft kisses while you tried to take a nap 

-She would talk to your little belly too<3 

-”Hey kiddo, it’s your mom. Well your other mom, hey i wonder how that would work?? Will they call us both mom.” 

-”You know, you're gonna have the coolest family. You got your Granddaddy Joel, the coolest man ever. You have your momma, just like her daddy the coolest most badass woman you’ll ever meet.” 

-”One day, when you get older. I’m gonna take you to the moon with me and of course your momma’s gonna come with us.”

-Everything you need she gets you, she wants to spoil both of her babies

-She loves seeing you pregnant but she hates the effects it has on you 

-Your really tired all the time, your feet swell up sometimes, and the stomach aches you get 

-Around 4 or 5 months you decide to get the farmhouse, y’all want your own space with each other and the baby 

-Joel’s not really happy about it, he doesn’t want his babygirl to get hurt ya know 

-”You guys can build a little farmhouse here in jackson, you know where there’s protection and your families here.” 

-”Dad, I love it here but we need our own space. I want this kid to grow up independent, you never know what’s going to happen to me and ellie.” 

-Joel can’t fight with you, he just gives in because it’s what you want and he wants you to be happy

-Plus he will most definitely do country boy things there because he’s a whore for a good farm house 

-Moving out was hard for you, you had to say goodbye to your friends even if you do live literally 5 minutes from Jackson plus girl your pregnant; hormones are going crazy 

-The whole town help you guys get situated, imaging that is so cute idc 

-The pregnant sex in the farmhouse hits differently because your horny all the time and ellie just loves how sensitive you are because of the hormones

 -I swear y’all have sex at least 3 times a day

-Morning sex, after breakfast sex, lunch sex, ‘this painting is tiring’ sex, before and after dinner sex, shower sex, before bed sex 

-Maria is definitely planned a baby shower for y’all and she went full on out 

-Obviously babies are born in Jackson often but it’s not every day when the town leader’s niece is having a baby, so it’s huge 

-Joel gave you a crib he made, LORD IMMA CRY WAIT A MINUTE 

-Everyone pitches in to give y’all something 

-You and ellie decorate the nursery together, it’s definitely space themed idc 

-Joel and tommy help too :) Joel helps paint the crib he made with stars and rocket ships 

-It takes 5 days to complete but it’s so worth it

-The walls are painted dark blue with white little stars and your dad helped you make a little planet mobile 

-By the time your 7-8 months you guys are mostly comfortable and happy, the house is almost done and the farm is growing little by little 

-There’s still stuff to do around the house and it bothers you so you're always doing stuff 

-Ellie hates it because mama you are literally about to pop and you still out here carrying pieces of wood upstairs 

-”Baby, you gotta be careful or your gonna end up giving birth on the stairs” She jokes

 -”I’m not incapable of doing things baby, i’ll be fine; plus it’ll build her muscles up, she’ll be okay.” You joke back 

-Joel always told you that you were like your mom, never stopping even if your carrying another human in your stomach 

-Around the end of 8 months you had decided to stay back at Jackson because you could go into labor at any time 

-When you finally give birth it is the hardest thing you have ever done 

-Your family is in the room with you and ellie is holding your hand, even throughout the pain you're still cracking jokes with ellie 

-”Woah! Okay your hand is all the way inside” 

-”Womb tour *sobs*” 

-”If i go through all this pain for my baby to not like David bowie, i swear it’s going back in.” 

-Ellie is literally dying of laughter

-She holds you hand the entire time and she gives you soft kisses

-When the baby finally get here, there is a wave of relief that comes over you

-You stay in Jackson for a little bit for a week or 2 until you guys can go back home

-Ellie does literally everything you need her to do because your still healing 

-She will gladly stay in bed with you all day if you need her too 

-She willingly gets up in the middle of the night with the baby just to let you sleep and it hurts her heart when she has to wake you up to breastfeed 

-Speaking of breastfeeding, it makes her blush a little when your breastfeeding 

-She finds it so hot when you parent, idk how to explain it but it just gets her going 

-She also loves your mom bod, like your boobs got a lil more bigger and your hips got wider 

-She just loves you as a mom, like she thinks you are so hot 

-Ellie loves holding the baby, She’s so soft and small. She will never get over how pure she is 

-Ellie will show her around the farm, showing her all the animals and making her giggle 

-She’ll love to spend time with the baby, she’s such a good mommy i swear 

-She will definitely make time for you of course

-You guys don’t even have to smash to feel satisfied, just 20 minutes alone with each other would be good enough for the both of you 

-She loves when you call her mommy throughout the day 

-”Well good morning mommy” 

-”Does mommy wanna watch too.” 

-It’s so soft and cute, ugh she’s just a big ole softy now 

-Grandpa joel....that’s all

-He’d be such a good grandpa, he would spoil that child rotten 

-He would tell you how to parent, as annoying as it could be sometimes you appreciate the help because you honestly have no idea what you're doing sometimes 

-”You're patting her too softly, you have to do it a bit harder.” 

-”Dad... I know what i’m doing.” 

-”I know, i know. I just want her to get a good burp in, don’t we?” He said to the baby, smiling down at her 

-Joel definitely babysits all the time, like he will straight up ask you if he could take your kid in for the night 

-you and ellie let him, obviously y’all need a decent night of sleep and a night full of... you know ;)

-Ellie does yoga with you to help you get back in shape, ellie doesn’t think you need too because she loves your belly <3 (your beautiful babe :))

-But you just want to regulate your body back a little bit

-You guys and the baby would have little pinics together, they are so cute 

-You have pictures upon pictures of the baby on the wall, like literally your baby has taken over the house 

- Dancing with the baby obviously 

-Ellie would read to the baby a lot, there has been countless times when she had fallen asleep in the rocking chair with the baby 

-Ellie massages your boobies when they get sore from breastfeeding, she feels so bad :(

-Joel and Tommy make wooden toys for the baby, they get so excited to give them to the baby 

-Her room is filled with toys from them and she is literally still an infant lmao 

-OH AND TOMMY AS AN UNCLE(??) luckiest kid ever 

-You both do farm work with the baby or one of you does farm work while the other keeps the baby from crying 

-You guys won’t force your baby to play with barbies if she doesn’t want to 

-but when she gets old enough ellie plans on taking her out in the city for practice of killing infected 

-That scares you but your award you both have to prepare her for anything that happens 

-But besides that y’all are the cutest parents and ellie deserves to be happy with her daughter :)

-

-

-

(Credits to gif owner) 

[ellieswhoreeee]

The Two of Us. pt 4

Author’s note; Sorry guys for being so inconsistent about posting guys! i promise i’ll do better but i was kinda distracted with a dina fic i’m writing🧍🏽‍♀️anyways this is the end, i hope you guys enjoy it! also i know this feels slightly rushed so i’m sorry for that :/

endgame pairings: ellie williams x fem! reader

warnings: swearing, marijuana, violence, ect.

ps: i’m still learning how to use tumblr when it comes to replying and doing other stuff so please give me time 😭

——————————————————————-

“I knew i’d find ya’ here,” Joel’s voice was oddly gruff but soft at the same time. He was loud enough for you to hear, even from the different distances. It was nice hearing his voice. You heard the rocks under his feet crunch together, making noise as he got closer and closer to your hiding spot. You were hiding in the tree house that was built into a large tree. The tree house was small but big enough for you, even though you built it when you were younger. It was surprisingly stable.

You didn’t say anything, and just stayed where you were. Hopefully he would think that you weren’t in here if you weren’t responding to him. “Kiddo, get down from there and talk to me. I ain’t gonna leave, so you can’t hide from me.”

You sighed quietly, and crawled towards the door- which in reality was just an old blanket that covered the entrance. You hated how noble Joel was. Your head peaked through the fabric. “Did Maria send you? Tell her i’m okay, i’m just sick.”

“Actually, i came here on my own. I’ve just… Noticed the changes between you and Ellie these past few days… I think if you could just talk to her-“

“Joel, this won’t get fixed by just talking. I fucked up this time.”

“What did you do…?” Joel questioned curiously. You looked away and decided to stay quiet as you clenched your jaw. Joel looked down at the ground awkwardly, noticing the look on your face. “I know y’all kids think i don’t know anything… But i’m not dumb. People talk… I’m just waiting for her to tell me so… whatever it is, i can guarantee that i won’t judge.” 

You bit your lip, and decided it would be better to talk to him. It was a little awkward when you first met but after continuously talking to him and hanging with him really changed that. He was one of the many people you were grateful for. You gave him a small smile. “I would invite you up but you’re kinda…”

“What? Too old? I’ll have ya’ know that i’m in the prime of my life.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to hide your laugh. “Fat. I meant fat, you would break the tree house.” You were joking, it wasn’t anything serious and he knew that.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep.”

He hummed, giving you a mischievous smile. He then moved towards the tree, and started to slowly climb up the ladder without any hesitation. You retreated back to the spot you were in, and watched as Joel struggled to get in quietly. He then sat across from you. He was curious about the inside- it didn’t look as abandoned as he thought he would be. “Cozy,”

You laughed. “Thanks, i guess you never been up here, huh? You should’ve seen it when me and Ellie put fairy lights up…” Joel stayed quiet for a moment. You brought your knees up to your chest and let out a quiet sigh. “You know, she’d say something dumb like, ‘it’s Ellie and I’ or something.”

Joel felt like patting you on the back and saying ‘it would be okay’ but that wasn’t what you needed right now. You needed someone to talk to. He needed to be that person for you because of how much he cared about you and Ellie. “What happened?”

“You won’t judge me?” Your voice cracked at the question, and he could tell you were scared. He shook his head in response which made you feel slightly better. You covered your eyes with your hands in frustration. “Ellie found out that i… Have feelings for her.” Your voice was quiet, and he almost didn’t hear you.

He was quiet for what seemed like forever but in reality it was only a couple of seconds. “…And does she like you back?” He questioned in the softest way possible. You removed your hands from your eyes and decided to look at him.

“If she did we wouldn’t be up here…” You replied awkwardly.

“So… You two talked about it? And you’re certain that she doesn’t like you?”

You shook your head slowly at his questions. “No, i kinda just walked away before she could say anything… But i know she doesn’t like me because she’s-“

“Dating Cat.” Joel finished for you. He already knew about Ellie and Cat. Not much, but enough to know how they dote on each other. People talk, so mostly everyone knew about them. Joel was just waiting for Ellie to tell him, and she hasn’t.

You nodded. “Yeah. Dating fucking Cat.” You spat bitterly.

Joel sighed, and continued to watch you. He noticed a lot by just watching you. You were playing with your hands, almost as if you were trying to calm your down from the hurricane that is your brain. You looked pretty sad. “Alright, i’m tired of it. You needa’ stop moping. So, we’re going.”

“Where are we going?” You asked quickly and followed him down the tree house. He waited for you, and once you reached the pebbles on the floor he started moving ahead once again. All you could really do was follow him.

“Just follow me, kid.”

-

-

-

“No way! I can’t do this right now, at least let me get a drink or something! I need whiskey in my system before i can talk to her!”

You don’t know how it happened. You let Joel drag you around town- just so he could get you to let your guard down. His real plan was getting you to Ellie’s garage. He asked you to close your eyes and lead you somewhere- and that’s where you are now. Right behind his house, aka in front of Ellie’s door.

“What if Cat’s here? This’ll be really awkward and pretty messed up.!” He was dragging you by your collar now, just so you couldn’t run away. You hated how strong he was. He then knocked on her door, and your skin shivered anxiously. You didn’t want to be here. You weren’t ready.

“Sorry, kid. In life, you gotta face your problems one way or another. I’m just giving you a gentle push.”

“More like a forceful shove!”

“Quit your whinin’. You need this. Closure or whatever you kids are saying these days.”

“Joel!-“

The door lock clicking caught your attention, then the door opened slowly. It revealed a very tired looking Ellie. She looked up at Joel and then down at you in surprise. “Sup..?”

Joel nodded in acknowledgment. “Heya, kiddo. Just thought i’d drop this off.” He let go of your collar, and suddenly you were on the floor. He turned on his heel and returned into his house through the back door. Fucking Joel, acting like i’m some sort of package. You couldn’t help think as you sat there.

“Fuck me,” You muttered lowly to yourself. You couldn’t even look up at Ellie. You were ashamed. You weren’t planning on telling Ellie about how you felt. Especially when you didn’t know if your feelings would last long. “This was a bad idea, i’m gonna go.” You stood up and brushed the dirt off your clothes.

You were about to walk- maybe even run away if it weren’t for Ellie talking first. “I never pegged you as a coward.”

You sighed, turning back to face her. To finally look at her. You noticed the bags under her eyes, that she looked paler than usual and her voice sounded hoarse. Seeing her this way made you sad. “Ellie…”

“No. You won’t talk right now.” She stopped you from speaking further. Maybe you deserved that. “Avoiding me, ignoring me and running away from me whenever i’m near? That’s all the things a coward would do. And that coward is you, y/n. I never thought that you were that type of person… You always faced your problems head on.”

Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was leaning against her door. It was the support she needed at the moment. Her words were hitting you hard. It was like a wake up call, just what you needed to get out from the hole you found yourself in.

But you also felt like denying her words.

You scoffed, and took a few steps back from her. You felt even more far away from her then ever. “Look, Ellie what do you want from me? You know why. Why can’t we leave it at that and move on. Never talk about it again.”

“Right, cause’ this is something we can move on from… Y/n, I need to hear you say it.” She pushed herself off her door and slowly moved closer to you.

“I’m not gonna do that.”

“Why? Are you afraid? I never knew you were such a pussy.” The way those words left her lips made it seem like she wanted to piss you off, to push you over the edge. Just so she could get your reaction.

“Fuck you, ellie… God, why do you need to hear me say it? You and your girlfriend are fucked up for wanting me to say it despite knowing already.”

She hummed, and continued to take steps towards you. “Are you scared? Is that it? Why is it that this conversation scares you but not a pack of infected…?” You scoffed, and didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to. She ended up being a few inches away from you. You couldn’t look up at her. You’re scared of doing something that you’ll regret. God, you wished you had gotten a drink or something. Maybe then you could at least blame it on the alcohol.

“What are you so afraid of?” She questioned in a whisper. Ellie wanted you to say it, she wanted to confirm that you actually liked her. She needed to hear you say it. Not insinuate it, but to actually hear it from your lips. That’s what she wanted.

Your eyes travelled from the ground and slowly trailed up her body. Your eyes lingered on Ellie’s neck, and then stopped at her chapped lips. Instinctively, she licked her lips as she continued to stare at you. You swallowed lowly, finally finding yourself looking into her green eyes. “I’m scared that you won’t like it.” Again, your eyes flickered to her lips.

“I will.”

For a split second you’re happy. But then you remember Cat. You frown, and decided to take a step back. “You’re with Cat- in love with her. That’s what you said, isn’t it? I may be in love with you but i’m not gonna let you cheat on her.”

Ellie pressed her lips together, a nod and small smile on her lips. “You’re a good person, y/n. That’s one of the many things that i love about you..” Your stomach did a flip, but you tried to listen to her next words carefully. You couldn’t be distracted by her sweet words. “I broke up with Cat. As fucked up as it is… I was only with her to try and get over you.”

“So, what i’m getting from this conversation is… You’re single?”

She laughed, and walked closer to you. “Not for long i hope.” She winked- well, tried to to. It was a pretty bad wink. But it was cute that she tried.

“I feel bad for the next person who dates you… you’re infuriating.” You whispered, watching and you and Ellie inched closer to each other.

She grinned, and watched and you closed you eyes. “You love it.” She paused for a moment, just to tease you before she finally brings your lips together in a sweet kiss. Her hands trail down to your hips so you could be flushed against her body. Your arms wrap around her shoulders loosely. She groans when you nip at her lower lip, then slides her hand under your shirt. God… you’re so enticing, y/n. Ellie was only thinking of you in this moment.

“Oi! Y/n! Ellie! PDA!!” Joel’s head popped out from the kitchen window as he glared at you two playfully.

“Right,” You pushed away from Ellie’s lips. “Joel knows.”

Ellie nodded, a smile on her lips as she continued to look at you. She was awestruck. She finally got to kiss you, to hold you and in the future there would be more memories with you. More memorable memories. “I guess he does.” She peck you on the lips and grab your hands. “You’re with me, right?”

You nodded, squeezing her hands to comfort her. God, you loved her so much. There is nothing better than being with her. You wished you had told her your feelings sooner, way before Cat. Maybe things could’ve been different.

But things are back on track for you and Ellie, and will be for a long time. Your gut is telling you everything will be fine. “Always.”

As long as you were with Ellie, nothing could go wrong.

-

end <3

[huxcel]

it was a cold night, everything was covered in snow - it all felt so peaceful yet so painful. Christmas nights are always so cheerful, but this time it all felt so cruel. Some of them were lucky enough to be with their friends and some were all alone on the top of a snowy mountain. Christmas night should be the time of the year that you spend with a family or somebody close to you, so why was he so alone? He knew why he was alone, and he found it fair. after all, he deserved it.

Joel saw Scar at the top of the mountain. He wanted to go visit him and spend Christmas night with him - after all, he was also alone, but he couldn't bring himself to go on the top of the mountain. He was scared, at first, he tried to convince himself that he was afraid of the tall mountain. but in reality, he was scared of Scar. He was scared of his friend ; he didn't want to admit that but it was true. He was afraid of The person that stayed by his side when he was red. Instead of talking to Scar face-to-face, he decided to leave him a gift at his door. At least Scar would know that somebody cared for him even if he was all alone. Joel knew what feeling all alone was like and wanted Scar to feel at least a bit less alone, even though it would probably not work. Joel wrapped a few candles in colorful paper wrap. Candles symbolized hope and that's what he wanted scar to have this night, so he climbs on top of the magical mountain and leaves the gift at his front door with a little letter next to it:

"Here's a little Christmas gift for you! From your neighbor, the wicked wizard Joel! Merry Christmas and light up your base more, for god's sake.”

Cleo was so lonely. Yes, she had Pearl and Scott with her but it still felt so painful. She was so happy to have them but it felt as if there was a piece missing from her rotten heart. She didn't want to admit it, but she missed Lizzie and she missed bigb, even if he might've hurt her deeply she still missed her old friends. she just hoped that they missed her too - and they did. Lizzie missed her a lot, and even though she had ren and bigb by her side the place still felt empty as if there was something, someone missing.

Traveling across the server in a snowstorm wasn't the best idea - and Cleo knew this - but she's done dumb stuff before, this wasn't that bad! She wanted to tell herself that she went outside for fresh air but deep down she hoped that she'd see her old friends in the flower forest, and she did. She saw Lizzie surrounded by fireflies and bigb laying in the snow beside ren. She felt happy to see her friends again but she was unsure whether or not to see them, surely they were mad at her right? So she started running the second Lizzie noticed her. She didn't know why she was running but she didn't want to look them in the eyes it all felt so painful to her because she was sure they were mad at her and- and she felt something grab her hand and pull her into a hug. She couldn't process what happened as it all went by so quickly but the warm hug and the sense of comfort made her cry, so Lizzie let her cry on her shoulder for as long as it was necessary. The sense of comfort was something Cleo missed so much so and having somebody they used to trust meant a lot to her so the two sat in the snow surrounded by fireflies up until the laughs of the two men broke the silence. Ren and bigb ran up to them with laughter - and this all made Cleo so happy to finally feel happy on this sorrowful day. It felt as if all of their pain disappeared at this very moment, and they all felt so happy together laughing, and enjoying each other's company.

But what's Christmas without gifts? And Lizzie made sure Cleo would also get a Christmas gift and this was the perfect moment to give it to her. They were white tulips, they symbolize forgiveness purity, and serenity and this was the perfect gift to show Cleo that they have forgiven her.

The southners were all huddled around a campfire exchanging jokes and laughter. It all felt so warm and so safe. It felt as if the moment could last forever and it was so peaceful and enjoyable for the southerners but grian didn't feel this way. He felt as if he was locked and as if he was alone even though he had his friends surrounding him. At the moment it felt as if he didn't belong here and he was supposed to be somewhere else. He didn't want to admit it to himself but he wanted to spend this Christmas with the person he spent it with last time, it was such a horrible idea he had his friends that cared for him right there what more could he ask for but it still didn't feel right to him so what was the point? So before he had time he managed to successfully sneak out of the castle and run as far as he could so the southerners wouldn't notice that he was gone. He completely forgot it was a snowstorm he just started aimlessly running while wearing a light jumper, he should've brought the handmade sweaters Martyn gave all of them for Christmas or the scarf that impulse made for him but it didn't matter how he couldn't go back or else he'd get caught, that's if they haven't noticed that he's gone already…

The way there was long and boring and on top of that, he was freezing! The north was far away huh he never noticed this. But he finally saw the top of the wizard hat and on the very peak of the mountain stood scar, he was wearing his robes and acted as if he was invincible from the cold, and maybe he was! He was on red after all and red lifers didn't feel that much stuff so it made sense, At least to him.

Grian basically showed Scar inside the building when he saw how he was just standing in the cold and immediately got to lighting up a campfire, he said it was for Scar but undeniably he was also freezing and a bit of warmth would be nice for him.

They didn't speak much but the silence was at least comforting, more comforting than what was at the Southlands so at last grain was happy, this wasn't his ideal Christmas but when has Christmas ever gone great for him? They were still wary of each other but they couldn't bring themselves to fear one another, they knew each other the best, and even after all that happened they still missed each other and the company of the other.

Grian was getting ready to leave after all alliances and friendships should be broken as a player turns red but he couldn't just leave scar empty-handed so he gave him pink poppies with a little letter stuck in it

" Can we still be friends "

I just got the random idea that 3rd life and last life happened during December and boom this fic idea came to mind, I wrote this to pass time until mcc started so it might not be as good? This is unfinished as I want to write with team best and pearl and Scott as well. Thank you to @ilygrian for helping with the grammar woo

[naraki]

Hello here is my Troy x abed pinning playlist analysis I made,,,,,, very sad

Y’all ready for this,,, this consists of whos povs I think go with who and reasons why

Solitary confinement- everyone worries about Owen

- Abed pov

- Him trying to convince himself he’s okay with Troy being gone

- Failing as a director

- Just feels like life is falling apart

- Late season 5 him isolating himself from everyone

Death cup- mom jeans.

- Abed pov

- “Might cry in front of you”

- Finally letting down his walls

- “I didn’t want you to feel like it was your fault” he doesn’t want Troy to blame himself for how disfunctional he is

- This whole song is just abed realizing he can’t tell Troy he’s heart broken because he knows Troy would come home in a heart beat if he was sad and not go on his much needed journey

Cigarette daydreams- cage the elephant

- just fits the vibe

Two sized mattress - the frontbottoms

- abed pov

- Defiantly more of an au song

- Like a high school au and Troy has internalized homophobia and probably ends up running away after people find out hes gay

Sick of loosing soulmates- dodie clark

- both of them

- They are soulmates but now separated

Letter home- childish gambino

- Troy pov

- Writing letters to abed but thinks abed has already moved on

- Letter in a bottle but he knows it won’t get to him

Mr. Blue - Catherine feeny

- Troy pov

- He probably did tell abed he loved him before he left or at least wanted to

- Wanted to tell him everything will be okay

- This song is everything he wanted to tell abed before he left

Buddy- willie Nelson

- Troy pov

- He always calls abed ‘buddy’

- Cries

- I just feel like he would sing this

I love you, I’m sorry - Mel bryant & the mercy makers

- could be either pov which ever angst you want

- In the rain crying and screaming confession the night before Troy leaves

- The other is just in shock

- The angst we deserved

Mr. Lover man- Ricky Montgomery

- Vibes

- Both pov

- This is just the perfect pinning song

Supercut- Lorde

- abed pov

- “Supercut” movie lingo

- He would do everything this song says

- This is just his thinking

Somewhere out there- Troy and abed

- explanatory

Human- dodie Clark

- Troy pov

- Once again him just thinking about abed

- This is before he leaves

- Like season 1&2 him trying to figure out who this cute nerd is

Vienna- billy Joel

- this is just a Troy song

- Not pov this song is just him

- It just is

Old friend- bedroom/boredom

- Troy pov

- It just is

Lonely eyes- the front bottoms

- Troy pov

- Him towards abed, trying to figure him out

- Similar to human

Scott pilgrim vs my gpa - mom jeans.

- Troy pov

- When they fought during abed buying all those actors

- He’s just upset and scared

- It’s okay Troy,,, it gets better

Dark red- Steve lacy

- just both of them

- Just works with the pinning

Holy ground (Taylor’s version) - Taylor swift

- Troy pov

- Abed pulling him into his antics on day 1

- Him first falling

Starlight (Taylor’s version) - Taylor swift

- more of that happy first falling era

- Could be either pov

Sad beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s version- Taylor swift

- Both pov

- :(

Come back...be here (Taylor’s version)a Taylor swift

- abed pov

- The title

- This song was made for abed nadir post season 5 episode 5

- Just replace plane with ship

- Feels bad for missing him

Hoax- Taylor swift

- More sad angst

- Could be either if you think betrayal

- Thinking more Troy pov

- When he thinks he just abeds side kick and that’s all abed wants him to be

- Doesn’t feel like abed cares for him that much

- It’s okay abed proves you aren’t just a side kick

- He’s in love with you

Enchanted- Taylor swift

- Troy pov

- Hoping abed doesn’t fall for anyone while he’s gone

- That whole bridge is him

- He’s praying to god that abed likes him back and doesn’t loose those feelings

- He is defiently writing love letters rn and LeVar burton is just like “it’s okay buddy you’ll see him again”

I love you so- the Walters

- abed at himself

- Once again feeling bad for being sad Troy is gone

- ABEDS convo with dreamatorium Troy

Save your tears- the weekend

- them at each other

- the sad goodbyes

- just tell each other you are in love

Two birds- Regina Spektor

- bird who leaves is Troy

- Bird who is scared is abed

- Their last convo be like

Motion sickness- phoebe Bridgers

- abed pov

- Just is

- he misses him so much

Thank you for reading I hope you cried

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0j63sMLqkzfNQWCgfdpd1c?si=Yv7gHuXVTYCVAJrDSqjS-g

[theflyingfeeling]

So I saw Blind Channel last night 😭

I swear time slowed down when I was queueing at the gate

and I SWEAR time stopped completely when they finally let us in

the warm-up act had some fun songs and seemed like sweet guys but I SWEAR their songs lasted twice as long as BC's 😂

anyhow I chose to stay on Olli's side because from what I'd seen in videos from earlier gigs, he's adorable as heck when performing and I was not disappointed, the man puts his 100% in every second of the concert 💖

as did all the other guys btw holy shit?? Their stage energy is OUT of this world 😵

Joel and (if I remember correctly) Joonas almost ran into each other pretty much the first thing they got on stage lol [circus music playing in the background]

as you've probably heard by now TOMMI SANG a bit of Would You Love a Monsterman by Lordi and 😂😂😂😂 I think it was Niko who said that Tommi is actually Mr. Lordi (it's even funnier when you remember that the name of the guy who is actually Mr. Lordi is Tomi lol close enough?)

I didn't see Porko as much BUT from what I saw he was being good old Porko <3

Niko may be the shortest but boy does he grow at least ten inches when he's on stage, an absolute king 👑 his speech about Feel Nothing was so sweet too and the song was definitely one of my personal highlights

also, how very convenient of Niko and Joonas to always kiss during the same song so I knew not to let either out of my sight for the whole duration of Sharks Love Blood and got to witness The Kiss™ with my bare eyeballs

and speaking of highlights, everyone singing along to Darker Than Black was most definitely one of them too 🖤

and before Balboa started, Niko said he and Joel would turn their backs to us and he instructed us to start screaming as loud as we could when they'd turn to face us again because "it would look cool on the YouTube video" 😂😂😂😂 these nerds I love them so much it's unreal

Aleksi came to say hi a few times and 😭😭😭😭😭 I would give him the world if he asked

I died a little when Olli called Aleksi "Allu" again (and then died a little more when "Allu" played Call On Me 🙈)

however

Joel Hokka

Joel fucking Hokka

that man was shining

he was born ready for this, he was so in his element and I could hardly take my eyes off him, I am so proud of him and so so happy for him, so happy he gets to finally live his dream, he deserves this so much

not to say the others don't as much because of course but I have a soft spot in my heart for Joel in particular ✨

when he said "We did it!!" to Joonas after the very last song I truly felt that (if I wasn't full of concert-induced endorphin and adrenaline and what-not I probably would have started crying like I did the other day when he and Niko were interviewed for Finnish tv)

in conclusion, I'm so happy I went, they put up a brilliant show and I enjoyed every single moment 💖

[the-killer-queenie]

Baby's first word (dad!Joonas)

Hey! It finally happened; I wrote my first fic ever. I know, I'm shook too. The things Blind Channel are making me do🥴

I really want to thank @poodlejoonas 💜 (the culprit xP) for not only letting me run with her AU but also for being a total angel and proof reading, making corrections and suggesting ideas. I'm linking both of her fics incluiding dad!Joonas but all of her fics are totally worthy and so extraordinarily written: poodlejoonas's dad!Joonas fic (aka the fic that started all) // the BC guys as uncles

Hope y'all enjoy it!☺️

After one year and a half without shows, the world slowly started to open up which meant Blind Channel managed to get new gigs in what seemed like forever. Everyone was thrilled at the idea of playing shows again like before the pandemic hit. Sure, UMK and Eurovision were amazing experiences but playing multiple times and only one song couldn't beat the adrenaline of performing a proper setlist in front of a real crowd jumping and singing along.

To say that Joonas was really excited wasn’t enough. His time was split between rehearsals with the band and spending time with you and Sohvi at your home. As perfectionist as the boys were, they even had to encourage Joonas to leave some rehearsals earlier so he could spend some well-deserved time with his daughter. But even at your home, Joonas would keep practicing (not that you would complain, since you love hearing him play and sing) giving mini acoustic shows to a starstruck Sohvi, who would watch his dad with loving eyes and sloppily clap when the songs ended.

Of course, the thought of bringing you and his little daughter to one of the shows crossed his mind, but both of you decided to wait a little more before taking young Sohvi to one of the band's concerts.

Despite only being away for a weekend, Joonas left you both with him promising he’d try not to go off the rails, to which you laughed and reassured him not to worry as long as he found his way home.

Joonas had to leave really early in the morning. You weren’t even up yet but felt his kiss on your cheek. You also heard him making a stop at your daughter’s room to say his goodbye to an asleep Sohvi.

At around the time Joonas would come home from the studio, you heard Sohvi babbling in the living room. Since she couldn’t talk yet, she motioned towards Joonas’s guitar he kept in the corner of the room, which you took as her way of questioning where her father was. “Clever girl,” you said as you picked her up. “Daddy is playing songs like when he plays it for you before bedtime, but this time for thousands of people.'' You knew she couldn’t yet understand her father’s profession but she made happy noises, which you took as a sign of understanding. "Such a good girl," you said as you bopped her nose. “We can go to the park and then we can call daddy, okay?” you proposed, which was met with even more cheerful noises.

Joonas came back late at night. You were taking a shower when you heard the rattle of keys and the front door being open. Joonas was finally home, and he left his guitar and bag against the wall. He heard the shower, so the first thing he did as soon as he dropped his stuff was check on Sohvi in her bedroom, where she lay asleep in her crib clutching her teddy bear (a present from Uncle Tommi). He tucked her in and gave her a kiss on her forehead. You, having finished your shower, stood against the door frame, adoringly observing the scene. The scene lasted for a moment until Joonas, feeling your presence, turned around with a cheeky smile.

"Enjoying the view?"

"Hey, you rockstar."

Joonas approached you and hungrily kissed you. Breaking off the kiss, you started to close Sohvi's bedroom door, so you could talk without waking her up. Joonas took a last look at the little baby and whispered.

"She's such an angel."

"She really is."

You could tell he was still buzzing with excitement from the weekend he just had. He seemed really excited to talk about the show and how good it felt to play live again. But as enthusiastic as he looked, he also looked extremely tired, so you immediately demanded him to go to bed and get some rest, promising he could tell you all about it in the morning.

The next day was a day spent with family. The band decided to take a few days before starting new rehearsals and working on the next album. You forced Joonas to stay in bed as you prepared breakfast and brought it to him. After that, both of you spent the morning cuddling, until you heard Sohvi waking up. Joonas finally left bed to greet his little angel. Sohvi was still sleepy but thrilled to see her dad. “Isä on täällä.”* Joonas softly said as she babbled and made grabby hands towards him. He took her out of the crib and carried her to your shared bed. What followed were more cuddles and Joonas’s weekend stories (at least the few “child-appropriate” ones, since Sohvi was present and you know kids are like sponges). He recounted how Olli lost his bass, which made you laugh but also made you both wonder if he still was the best choice for being Sohvi's godfather.

After lunch, Joonas received an email from their photographer with a bunch of videos of the concert, so naturally he had to show them to both of you. He set up his computer in front of the sofa, where you were sitting with Sohvi in your lap, and played the videos. Whenever Joonas was on scene, you’d point at the screen and say, “look Sohvi, that’s daddy right there,” and Joonas’s heart would melt. Sohvi even started to do little jumps and you could swear she was trying to mimic Joonas’s movements he did to hype up the crowd before Dark Side was played. Joonas was so delighted by the scene he took out his phone and started filming the whole situation.

“Look at her, a proper heir of the Porko dynasty.” Joonas joked, though you knew in reality, he was half-serious and wondered how much time would pass until she got any kind of instrument in her hands, either a present from Joonas or from any of her uncles.

But none of you were prepared to hear your baby saying her first word when Joonas’s solo came up: “isä.” She said “daddy” in her father’s native Finnish. Both you and Joonas froze and looked at each other with teary eyes as you both processed the moment. Joonas interrupted in cheers as he picked her up and kissed her cheek, his blonde curly hair getting in her face and making her laugh. You quickly grabbed Joonas’s phone from his hand, since it almost flew away as he spun Sohvi around and kept recording the tender moment.

"I have to tell the boys. They were sure her first word was going to be Porko. Joel even bet on it."

"Oh that explains their insistence on saying Porko even though you weren’t in the room but Sohvi was…”

*Isä on täällä = Daddy's here (according to google translator, so @ Finns feel free to correct me pls)

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 3 - To Have and to Hold

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Depressive episodes + some suicidal thoughts... mostly angst but some fluff?? :")

Summary: The reader gets better and better each day, fitting better into her new life in Jackson, while Joel and Ellie continue their journey. The reader, after over five months, is greeted by unexpected visitors during patrol one day.

Word Count: 6.034. Grab a snack maybe?

Author's Note: As I mentioned in the previous chapter, I don't have PTSD or depression, but I do a lot of research about these mental illnesses before I write; once more, my last wish is to offend any of you, so my deepest apologies if I do! ! I do hope you like it!

Enjoy!

"(Y/N), you up?" You heard Tommy's voice as he and Maria peeked into the room.

"Thanks to you, yes." The edges of your lips turned up, eyes still closed.

"You've been asleep for almost five hours, we got worried." Maria said. "Tommy wanted to talk to you."

You opened your eyes, watched Maria leave and Tommy sit on a chair beside your bed: "How you doin'?"

"No nightmares," You sighed and pulled yourself up and leaned your back on the wall. "The bed was pretty comfortable, I'd say my body's rested at least. You found Ellie?"

"Yeah, about that," Tommy scratched the back of his head. "We found her, she's alright but..."

It turned out that Ellie and Joel had been on the road for awhile and that Joel and Tess were tasked with carrying her across the country because she was a potential cure, a way to save humankind. Joel apparently wanted Tommy to take her to the Fireflies and convinced him to do so too, but just after they found Ellie and brought her back to town, Joel had a change of mind and took off with Ellie to Salt Lake City. You felt sick again, finding out that Ellie was immune and she was gone now, without saying a goodbye. You zoned out and stared at your hands resting on your lap.

"But uh, Maria arranged a house for you," Tommy smiled softly.

You nodded, still feeling numb and shocked: "Appreciate it..."

Tommy reached out and gave a firm squeeze to your shoulder: "They're going to be okay, (Y/N)... Now Maria told me what kind of a bond you shared with Ellie and I know you're upset, but she's capable of taking care of herself. Now Joel, much of an asshole he is- he's going to protect Ellie and they're gonna be just fine. They'll be back, don't you worry."

You nodded again and looked at him when he told you to get up so he can show you around and to your new house.

It had been so long since you'd seen lights and so many people together, people who didn't attack or yell orders at each other. They were just happy, minding their own businesses and, according to Tommy, headed to the 'theatre'. But for some reason you couldn't truly feel happy about it- getting a random headache instead. You could really use another nap right now.

"Here you go," Tommy led you to a small, cabin-like house. There was a salon and a kitchen to the left, and a bathroom and small living room to the right and right across the hallway, a bedroom; there was also a small balcony and garden connected to the bedroom. You couldn't have asked for anything more from neither Maria nor Tommy. "Take a bath and get rid of your clothes - Maria got you some new ones. We're going to have dinner in an hour or so, I'll send a guy to pick you up. That okay?"

"Yeah," you sucked your lips in and sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself. "Thank you Tommy. Really-"

"Don't mention it," Tommy patted your arm. "Think of this as a repayment from that last time, or just... humanly behaviour, you choose."

You sighed and felt your eyes water again, quickly wiping it with your palm.

"I'll leave you to it," Tommy said and walked away. You gulped and let out a shaky breath, entering your new house and closing the door. You walked around slowly, taking short looks at the rooms as you approached your new bedroom. Maria had left a pair of jeans, which at first looked too small for you, a black undershirt with black, normal panties along with a dark red, turtleneck sweater. They smelled as if they were fresh out of a washing machine. You dropped your backpack on the floor next to your bed, then lurked back to the bathroom to start the water.

You came back to the bedroom to take out some stuff from your backpack when you noticed a note left on the bed next to the sweater:

Hey! I hope these clothes are okay. Neither of us knew what size you wear, so I took a few guesses and, if they don't fit you or if they're too warm/cold, just let me or Tommy know and I'll try to find something else for you. You can put your dirty clothes in the bin outside the entrance, someone will come and pick them up. I hope you like it here :)

Maria

You smiled briefly, then picked up the gas lamp on your nightstand (which worked with a candle) and put the note under it. Your fingertips lingered on the lamp as you felt a great amount of guilt and grief settle in you. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself and bit your bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

Too much to think about...

Too many people to grieve...

You almost forgot about the bathtub and went back to the bathroom, to find it almost completely filled. You saw a pink soap at the edge of the bathtub which you didn't notice- or forgot? Whatever, there was a goddamn soap you could clean yourself with.

You took off your clothes and threw them into a pile and slowly dipped yourself in the warm water, sighing at the contact. Dry blood immediately changed the colour of the water a little but you couldn't bring yourself to wash your body just yet. Instead, you pulled your legs to your chest, wrapped your arms around them and placed your chin on your knees. This gave you a moment to think: To think about everything you've done, everything you've seen, everything you've been through; Why me? I don't deserve this. were the only words echoing through your mind, convinced that you truly didn't deserve to be alive. Your chest felt really tight all of a sudden and you forced yourself to calm down again, only to remember that you can cry, sob, whine and grieve your loved ones now. You were safe and sound, no one was around and you didn't have to stay strong for anyone anymore. You could put your guard down and be fragile, like a porcelain doll.

Tears began streaming down your face.

You closed your eyes tightly, pulled your knees closer and held your arms tighter as you bewailed; like you'd simply die if you dared hold it in any longer.

Felicity... Kurt... Maxim... Amanda... Robin and Cole...

They deserve this- they deserve a good life, I don't.

I let them down, get them all killed and get a fucking reward for it? Unbelievable.

Your fingers brushed your hair back as you cried and whined, leaning back on the wall to your right. You covered your face with both of your hands, dry blood around your body dissolving into the water in the meanwhile.

You had no idea how long you'd been crying, but you immediately stopped when there was a knock on the door.

"(Y/N), sorry to bother you," It was Maria. "I brought you some shoes, socks and some other stuff I thought you might need."

Your chin trembled as you panicked in the tub, water now cold: "I- I'm in the bath right now!"

"Okay, I'll just-" You heard the door open after you noticed how your voice cracked. "I'm leaving these here... are you alright?"

"Yeah," you nodded, wiping your tears aimlessly. "Is someone gonna come grab me for dinner or are you it?"

"Oh, no, there's still less than half an hour. I'll send someone when the time comes, don't worry."

"Okay- erm, thank you," You replied and she left with a sincere not a problem.

You started washing yourself with the soap, which felt really nice. You were actually going to smell nice for a change. It took you around ten minutes to wash yourself whole. Although you were still hurt and sad, Maria's brief presence had unintentionally calmed you down and you convinced yourself that it was enough for one day. You now had the rest of your life set in front of you, you could practically grieve whenever you wanted, right?

You dried yourself with the towels beside the sink, wrapping your head with one of them as you got dressed. Your wrists were healed for the most part, leaving behind marks which would be the reminder of your survival, but they didn't sting anymore. Now you had to worry about your waist which surprisingly didn't hurt as much. Probably because of the proper treatment and medicine you were provided with.

The weather was cold and the day was going darker by the minute. You put on every piece of clothing that were given to you, grabbing the stuff Maria left for you off the ground and finally dropping on the bed, laying down on your back, arms spread across the mattress. You suddenly had this terrible feeling that you were going to have trouble sleeping alone at night: Back in your FEDRA days, you always shared a bunk or a room with your teammates, always slept around a fire together when you were out of the base. There was always someone with you, which made you sleep better even in your worst days. Before you came here, you didn't have your friends but you had Ellie... and Joel.

Oh how you had missed them already.

The worst part was, you almost didn't know anybody here. Tommy was the closest person you could call a friend and you didn't even want to talk about Maria. As sincere as she was, you got to know her just today. You felt uncomfortable sharing your story with her, you knew you'd feel even more uncomfortable when it came to sharing your emotions.

You didn't realise a few tears had forced their way out of your closed eyelids and down your face until there was a knock on your door.

"Uh, hello? Maria sent me to come and get you..." You heard a deep voice laced with a southern accent, which reminded you of Joel's a little but it wasn't as heavy as his.

"Yup, coming," you huffed and got up, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hands.

You were really torn between wanting to be alone and wanting company, so you decided to let other people take over.

You also grabbed Kurt's knife before you went to the door, just in case.

"Uh, hi there," The man greeted you. You felt like you'd seen him before but you weren't sure. He was tall and slender, a lot taller than you were; he had dark red, wavy hair and green eyes, freckles splattered around his face and forearms. Looking into more detail, he had a tall, turn-up nose, light facial hair and lips which reminded you of a model's - they weren't chapped and they were quite plump. His cheeks and nose were reddened, probably because of the cold but his lips had a natural redness to them.

"Hi," you sighed, taken aback. "I'm, uh, (Y/N)."

"I know. I'm Walt," He smiled softly and handed a piece of cloth over to you. "Maria told me she didn't have a jacket with a hood, that I should bring this so you could cover your hair."

It was a slouch beanie with a pompom attached to it. Your face scrunched up, you never thought you'd be wearing these and you didn't want to, but your hair was wet and you really weren't in the mood to add more to your headache.

"Uh, thank you." You muttered awkwardly and put the beanie on.

"Here," Walt reached out for the beanie, making you flinch. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you..." He smiled sincerely and adjusted the beanie. "Better. Shall we?"

"Let's," you sighed, not really knowing what to say to him. He was quite handsome, you were expecting someone old and grumpy to come get you, not a cute guy with-

Cute?!

Goddammit.

"It's nice to see a new face," Walt commented, putting his hands in his jean's pockets. "Maria told me you were spec ops- I never thought I'd meet another outside a QZ."

You halted and looked at him: "You're spec ops too?"

"Yup, that's why she sent me, thought maybe you'd need someone who relates to you?" Walt explained. He visibly tensed when you didn't respond: "I'm sorry, was I too forward?"

"Oh- not at all, I'm just surprised is all. Where did you come from?" You asked as you two kept walking.

"I was born in Denver, grew up and enlisted there too. I served under FEDRA in Denver for a few years before being sent to Boston... What a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, I was in Boston for- ever. I knew I'd seen you somewhere." You sniffed and tried to smile.

"Boston was hell," He groaned. "We were new and there was this team, they were looking for new recruits and I wanted to sign up, I don't know what I was thinking but..."

"Oh," you sighed loudly, looking at the ground. "I know, some stupid sonofabitch named Gabe 'bought' his way in."

"You were at the training too?" Walt asked, surprised.

"I..." You tried to speak and get over with it, but decided to take your time. "I was uh, I was the team's leader."

This time Walt stopped: "Get outta town."

"I'm serious," you gave him an apologetic smile, reaching for your knife in your pocket slowly.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he let out an awkward laugh. "I thought you were the person who picked the new recruit, I might have cursed a little too much behind your back."

This time you laughed too, relaxing: "Oh it's fine. They never really liked me at the Boston QZ, I do have a fair share of curses on my behalf."

Just when the both of you chuckled, Maria opened the door. When did you even arrive?

"Perfect timing!" She smiled. "We were just about to eat, come in."

"After you," Walt took a step behind and motioned for you to go in. You smiled and walked in, Maria sending a quick wink your way before Walt could see and you just rolled your eyes.

There was a big table and three men sat around it, Tommy across them. They were filling their plates with, by god, delicious looking food. Tommy waved at you and you smiled as the three of you sat down around the table, Maria at your right and Walt on your left.

"This is (Y/N)," Tommy introduced you. "(Y/N), these men are the leads of our patrol. I wanted you to meet them because I reckoned you might wanna do patrols, is that okay?"

"Well," you sighed. "I know a couple of more things other than how to shoot a gun, y'know."

"That so?" Tommy grinned. "If you wanna do something else, that's fine. But I still want you to get to know them. You already met Walt, but not sure if you remember him..."

Eugene Linden. Of course you remembered him.

"Eugene?" Your eyes widened.

"Hi there, commander," he tipped an invisible hat your way and smiled.

"Goddamn," you sighed with a grin and chuckled. Then, simultaneously: "Still not dead, huh?"

Eugene and Tommy were absolutely despised and were the talk of the base when you were sent to Denver for duty. You had mixed feelings toward them at first -well, you were sent to kill them after all- but not because you followed orders blindly, because of the attacks and the terror caused by them. They were reckless and they killed civilians, you weren't sure if they were the promise keeping type.

You were outnumbered and genuinely scared that you may not get to see another day (not that you wanted to anyway) so you changed tactics and surrendered. You promised them that you'd help them escape FEDRA in return of your team's and civilian safety. They kept their promise but a few months later, both of them left the Fireflies and you were sent back to Boston. You never saw either again until now.

A night went by with no stressing out over when or how you were going to be attacked. You already made 'friends' with the lead patrol men: All of them were army men, Walt being the only spec ops. You already knew Eugene and Tommy and were now acquainted with Walt and Maria. The other men, Robert and Bruce seemed to like you too; Robert was around Eugene's age, you assumed as he looked a little old but Bruce was around your age, maybe younger.

Tommy walked you back home, as much as Maria secretly tried to make Walt your escort, you didn't mind him.

"How are you liking it so far?" Tommy started as soon as you were outside and on the way back to your house.

"I- I absolutely have no words, Tommy. I can't thank you both enough, I guess I owe you one?"

"Stop with that nonsense," Tommy chuckled. "Those days are over, you're not a FEDRA puppet and I'm not a 'terrorist' anymore... Those days are behind us. Let's focus on what we have now."

"You're right," you nodded, stuffing your hands in your pockets. "It's just- I want you to know how grateful I am for the both of you... I don't deserve this, you know?"

Tommy gave you a worried look when your voice wavered a little: "'Course you do, don't say that stuff now..."

Tommy turned to you under a streetlight and held your shoulders: "You deserve this more than anyone, (Y/N). Joel told me about what happened to your team and I am truly sorry for that-" You sniffed and tried to hold back your tears to no avail. "Hey, hey, it's alright... Look, even without after everything you've gone through, you deserve this. Everyone stuck in this world survivin' does."

"But I'm the reason they're dead!" You sobbed: "If I was faster, none of them would've been captured! If I had been more careful-!"

"(Y/N)!" Tommy shook you. "None of that was your fault, you hear me? I know you think it is but it ain't. I'm sure that if they could, they'd be the ones to give you this life. You were a good leader, you treated them kindly and helped everyone out- even your enemies. I know that as much as you want to trade places with them... what's happened, happened. It's gonna take some time, but you're gonna have to come to terms with it and move on. One way or another."

"I know," you whimpered. "I know but, I never had the time to... I didn't even get to bury them. They're out there, rotting in an old building and I'm here, eating actual food and taking a bath. With a soap."

"Well, if that's what you're worrying about," Tommy dropped his hands to his sides and began walking with a grin. "I can assure you they're in a far better place right now than you could ever be, alive."

You stared at him walk away slowly and let his words sink in. He was right, they no longer had to deal with the bullshit this world had to offer anymore. They were properly resting now.

Although it was a nice first night you spent there and as much as Tommy's words left an impression on you, the moment he said goodnight and you closed your door, a feeling of uneasiness settled in you. Sitting at the table with your new neighbours itself pained you at first, reminding you of your team... Your family...

You still struggled to believe this place was real. There was actually a place for you, a place amongst lovely people who had no bad intentions toward you. There was a new life for you here, you knew you had to move on from your past one, but you also knew it wasn't just going to happen over night. There was still so much guilt in you. And, well, the attack today didn't really help your hopes for this place, you knew better than anyone that all good things come to an end.

But that didn't mean that you wouldn't fight to keep this place going as far as it could.

----

"Aw man," Ellie sighed as Joel finished explaining the basics of baseball to her. "I wonder if (Y/N) ever played it."

Joel's expression relaxed and turned into a thoughtful one. He thought about you, wondered if you were okay and how you were getting along with his brother and the others in Jackson. He was mad at himself for getting angry at you for no reason and he knew, if he ever went back to Jackson, he'd have to make it up to you.

----

Your first few weeks went by resting and helping everyone with everything as much as your wounds allowed. You were fatigued and didn't really want to talk to anyone but Tommy and Maria, who checked up on you almost twice a day when you didn't show up for too long. You were mostly in bed, either doing nothing or sleeping. You had constant headaches and refused to take medications because you didn't want them to think there was something wrong, but sometimes you'd get sick to your stomach from not eating. You lost weight in your first week and a half which didn't escape Maria. You kept complaining about how you couldn't get used to sitting in bed and doing little to nothing for hours, your sleep schedule was absolutely fucked but you also didn't have the energy to get up. You were alone by yourself most of the time which didn't help and by your second week, Maria and the lady from the nursery, Katherine, who was apparently a medic, insisted she did a check up on you.

"I'm no psychologist, but I think she's depressed." Katherine had said when you had fainted because you got up too fast after your examination. "I read a book on it some time ago and she has most of the symptoms... Someone needs to keep an eye on her- she can't stay alone. She's grieving and she's going to need help going through it."

Maria had nodded with sad eyes, uncertain about what to do and Tommy held his wife as they looked at your sleeping form. Your face was way skinnier comparing to when you first arrived in Jackson.

"She doesn't just need a companion per se," Katherine had whispered. "We, as a community have to look after each other and will look after her too, but she barely talks to anyone other than you two. She needs to be more involved with us."

Maria's brows raised: "We can sign her up to patrols with the boys for a start. I'll pair her up with Walt, they seemed to be getting along."

"Well," Tommy had sighed, hands on his hips. "We could try the school? She always had a soft spot for children, maybe it'll help distract her for the most part."

"Offer her whatever you want, but just do it." Katherine nodded worriedly. "And make her eat, for god's sake. She won't survive like this any longer."

----

"You gotta tell me what to do!" Ellie panicked as Joel's vision began fading. "Come on, you gotta get up! Joel?"

Shit, what would (Y/N) do? Joel finally heard Ellie ask herself before he let the darkness take over his pale body. Really though, what would've you done if you were with them right now?

Joel thought back to the time where he was wrapping up your wrists in that house where you all took a shower. How you didn't even flinch when he applied the alcohol and just kept calm through every situation for the whole month you all travelled together. He thought about that one time where you treated a wound on his leg. It was just a bullet which whizzed through the side of his calf, not doing much damage but it still hurt a little. You had attended to it without any complaints.

"This won't take a minute, just sit down and let me handle it," You insisted. Ellie was already passed out on the couch in the next room. "If it gets infected you're never gonna stop bitching about it. Sit. Down."

"Yes ma'am," Joel's brows furrowed at your demanding tone. He sat on the ground and extended his leg on the floor. You carefully rolled the sleeve of his pants up and cleaned the wound.

"Come now, it's over, see?" You smiled gently when he hissed, then wrapped a bandage around his calf. Joel just nodded with an almost displeased look as you got up and moved to go to the other room to check on Ellie.

"Uh, (Y/N)?" Joel turned around before you disappeared into the next room. You gave him a quizzical look by the door: "Thank you."

You just smiled at him genuinely and somewhat shyly, then walked away.

----

You got more used to your new life each day, a full month had passed but you still struggled to come to terms with yourself; but there were some improvements too. You began eating more (by your own will) and you were just a little confused at why you were surrounded by people all the time, except for when you were in your house or at the makeshift gym with a lack of tools. You had only fainted once, it had to be about that, otherwise you were way past the welcoming phase. You still thought often of Ellie... and Joel. And Felicity and others. You found yourself crying some nights, but most nights you felt numb. You missed all your companions dearly - you knew you'd be with them sooner or later.

Walt had turned out to be excellent company, although you were sure his old patrol partner Bruce wasn't entirely fond of you anymore, with you made into Walt's new partner. You usually didn't go outside the walls as there weren't too many infected in the area, but now with you guarding the walls with them, the raids started to take less of a toll on the residents of Jackson. You were liked and your presence was appreciated, something you couldn't really bring yourself to believe.

Tommy and Maria were understanding of your condition and, as much as you had insisted otherwise, they urged you to stay at their place from time to time when you weren't feeling too well. You were grateful for them and for everything they had done to make you feel better while adapting to life in Jackson.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months as Jackson developed further into an actual town. Although winter was harsh on the people, a true sense of community had settled into everyone living there. Diners and schools were built by the end of January and more shops like tailors were being built every day.

Walt and you, on the other hand, were a different story. He was so calm and cool and you couldn't help but get flustered whenever he was around. He treated you nicely, with a more welcoming manner and he was an outright gentleman. The small compliments he'd give you, the way he'd make you laugh... You weren't sure how he'd react if you opened up to him though, so you kept it to yourself.

A better developed relationship comparing to yours and Joel's, you thought. You wondered then how he was doing, if he was even alive and all that.

----

"It's okay, it's me- it's me." Joel turned Ellie around as she tried to get out of his grip. "It's me, look..."

Ellie gasped, taking in a shaky breath as Joel held her face between his hands, like that time you had an attack before reaching Jackson.

"He tried to-" Ellie sobbed, struggling to speak, then Joel pulled and pressed her shaking body against his chest.

"Oh, baby girl..." Joel whispered as he held her close, heart breaking over and over again at her state; the situation they were in reminding him of Sarah over and over again but there was nothing he could do. He had already lost one daughter and he knew, then and there, that he wasn't going to lose Ellie too.

----

With April's arrival, many pretty flowers you had never seen before (or didn't remember seeing pre-outbreak) blossomed throughout the town. Your garden was quite colourful, which brought joy to you. After the cloudy, gray winter days, you greatly appreciated the sun with occasional showers. The weather was mostly chill and windy but not like it was back in January. You had made amazing process with your health conditions - it wasn't perfect but process was still process. Walt had been of great help, talking about your past experiences and venting to each other from time to time had brought you two even closer. He was requested to look after you by Maria and Tommy, but he didn't mind and gladly did so.

Speaking of Tommy: One night while the three of you had dinner, you helped Tommy clean the dishes while Maria went out to give the leftovers to some newborn puppies. Joel was made the topic of your conversation all of a sudden and he revealed a very upsetting detail about Joel's past.

"He," Tommy began, gulping. "He used to have a daughter. Sarah."

You stopped washing the plate in your hands and gave him a look, his movements slowing down as a great set of dark clouds settled over him: "On the outbreak day, the three of us were in a car and it crashed. Sarah broke her leg, so Joel carried her. We ran but Joel and I got separated, when I reached them..."

Tommy sighed through his nose: "Sarah passed away in his arms... I'm thinking, maybe that's why he changed his mind about Ellie? He's- he won't tell you this, but I just thought you should now."

You just nodded with a worried look on your face. After finishing the dishes, Tommy went to their room while you waited on the couch in their living room. He came back with a small frame in his hands: "That's her..."

It was a picture of Joel and Sarah which appeared to be taken after a football match. They both looked so happy, your expression softened immediately and your heart broke: "How old was she?"

"Twelve, I think," Tommy nodded as you examined the picture. "She would've been a whole grownup by now."

Your eyes widened at Joel and Sarah's age gap: "He was so young when he had her..."

"High-school sweethearts," Tommy shook his head and smiled bitterly. "I had no idea what was goin' on. I was around her age when I found out my brother was gonna get married and that I was gonna be an uncle. I don't really remember those times but, Joel managed fine on his own after Sarah's mother left."

You never could've imagined this was the brothers' story before the outbreak: "You miss him, don't you?"

"Me? Miss Joel?" Tommy mocked offence as you handed the frame back to him. "Nah, never... Anyways, he could be back any day, might as well enjoy it before he becomes a pain in my ass again."

You had both laughed about it, but you knew he was worried about Joel and that he missed him. They were pretty close, although worldviews separated them, they were still brothers who cared for each other.

You had also built up the nerve to confess your feelings to Walt. Maria was great at encouragement, so with a deep breath, one night after a patrol in the woods, you knocked on his door:

"Oh, hi there Dolly," Walt smiled. He was looking rather handsome today - as if he put in extra effort to his looks. He looked like as if he was about to go out.

"Oh stop calling me that," You smiled shyly. "I sing once and suddenly I have a new name..."

"It suits you though," he smiled charmingly. "Hey, you'll never guess where I'm about to go right now."

"I'd say on a date, but-"

"Ding ding ding!" He chuckled excitedly. "You know Bonnie, right? She invited me over to her place for dinner."

You just stared, utterly dumbfounded.

"It's a little awkward, I should've been the one to ask her out, but I guess she got tired of waiting!"

She got tired of waiting and shot her shot... and succeeded.

"Oh," you nodded, quickly regaining your composure. "Uh, that's nice- when did you two even get that close?"

"Well," he closed the door to his house, making you take a step back. "You should pull your head out of work from time to time. You've been working so much, you may have missed it."

He smiled genuinely: "Anyways, I have to go now. I'm afraid I can't escort you back this time, I'm running late. You're okay though, right? I hope you didn't come all this way for something important?"

You nodded, words stuck at your throat, then he gave you a brief hug: "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight!"

You just stood there and watched him leave, mouth agape, hopeless and disappointed.

"So?" Maria asked as you rested your chin on your hand, frowning at your plate. The both of you were having breakfast on your back yard: "How did it go?"

"He's seeing someone else," You sighed after an unnerving moment of silence and put your fork through your food.

"Oh," Maria's excited expression dropped. "Are you sure?"

"He said he was on his way to Bonnie's when I went over to his place."

You both sat in silence, your expression was soft but as much as you tried to hide it, there was a hint of sadness in your eyes. I got everything I didn't deserve after moving here, maybe I pushed my luck too much. You weren't angry, just disappointed.

"He said it himself," You chuckled. "Bonnie apparently got too tired of waiting for him to make a move, so she took matters into her own hands. I was too slow."

"Don't say that," Maria reached for your hand but didn't touch it. "How could've you known? Even I didn't notice they had a thing going on."

"It's okay," you forced a smile and took her hand in yours. "Maybe it wasn't the right time."

Maria was happy that you weren't taking it too heavily - you knew you'd have another chance. After breakfast, you both went your separate ways. Walt greeted you at the stairs which led up to the walls, your heart skipping a beat when you saw him - it was anxious skip however, you were not excited to see him.

"So," You forced a smile as you approached him. "How was your night?"

"Pretty good, thank you," he smirked as you two climbed up.

"Just pretty good? Tell me more!" You laughed. The situation was odd, but he didn't have to know.

"Well," he smiled like a teenage boy after his first ever date with his date. "We began with dinner. She had cooked the most amazing meal- You should definitely eat some too, I suggested that the three of us should have dinner sometime and she's totally down."

You flinched as you approached the notebook on the counter then wrote down your names, your back to him as you felt like jumping off the side of the wall and into a hole where the ground would swallow you whole rather than having dinner with them.

"Yeah, we'll see, I don't wanna be a burden on your new girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend, Dolly, she's-"

"Stay where you are!" You suddenly heard Cedric, one of the patrolman who's shift was over, shout.

"Hold it!" You yelled at Cedric from where you were, then immediately ran out to where he was, Walt behind you. Your heart dropped when you saw the duo who were stood by Jackson's doors.

No way.