#and talking outloud to myself

[outer-edges]

so one of my many inexplicable fic icks for the last of us is whenever there's a fic that just likely completely ignores everything about the finale and just goes along with a whole “happily ever after in jackson” thing.

i've never really been able to pinpoint a specific reason, but i think its because even if you ignore the fact that it is so insane to just remove the entirety of their experience with the fireflies and make them live happily ever after. they just…won’t…like it’s not going to be happily ever after for them because joel IS NOT ellie’s dad, and that’s not an emotional framework she even has. like dad doesn’t mean anything to her. to her, joel is her best friend. joel is family. joel is hers. she’s his. they belong like all that shit riley talked about with her family. but being a daughter and having a father isn’t something ellie even understands to fit herself into. her only experience with quote unquote “fatherhood” is david, and to him that meant disgusting control exerted over her. i think that entire experience probably gave her an extremely complicated relationship with the concept of father's in and of itself. so, even if she has this father-daughter type relationship with joel, that's not how she's ever going to associate him.

so, to her, joel is just joel. she loves him and cares for him deeply and he’s hers and she’s his, but he’s still just joel. he isn’t dad. he won’t ever be dad.

but to him, ellie isn’t just ellie. ellie is daughter.

daughter and dad is a very different dynamic than just inexplicably connected family. joel is going to exert a certain amount of control over her life, the kind that is perfectly healthy for parents to have, but she’s not going to accept it, and that’s going to cause problems for them. because it’ll be different than when they were on the road. then, everything joel did was to keep her safe. then he ordered her to do things like check her six and stay quiet and go hide while he takes care of business.

in jackson, in regular life, it’s going to be different. it’s going to be things like bedtimes and going to school and curfew and shit that ellie will reject because of her previous experience with it (FEDRA, david, etc). like this cognitive dissonance between them is going to cause problems. even though they care about each other just as much, they aren't really on the same page when it comes to what they are to each other.

that’s what they’re going to work through. those are conflicts they would face even if they do get happily ever after. which, that isn't something really see anyone working through, and the absence of it rubs me the wrong way in ways i can't really explain. i think it's because this cognitive dissonance is something that would cause such a big strain on their relationship. even if everything went perfectly fine with the fireflies, or whatever, they still would have interpersonal conflict. it isn’t just ellie’s nightmares that are solved by platonic cuddling. their monsters are much closer to the heart than that.

she’s not his daughter. and he sure as hell ain’t her dad. but they’re going to figure it out anyway.

[lloydfrontera]

javier, gathering every molecule of subtlety in his entire body and holding onto it for dear life and a deep desire to be trusted: and just so we're clear, i trust you. no matter what you say, no matter how crazy it is or how insane it sounds, i will believe you. you have earned my full trust several times over and i will follow you anywhere you go, in this world or any another. so you can tell me anything. whatever you want. no matter what it is. i will trust and support you. just so you know.

lloyd, absolutely keeping a secret that sounds crazy and/or insane and that has been eating him alive for several years now: what a funny and weird thing to say that does not concern or apply to my situation beyond the most superficial of levels at all. anyway. i'm so glad javier doesn't suspect a thing about me :)

[kazzsk2]

Extra doodle i did earlier

[drifting-andromeda]

I know Atsushi is considered an abandoned child, from what the headmaster indicated. The headmaster also indicated that Atsushi's birth parents were super abusive to him, and I know that's also a popular theory in the fandom, but what if the opposite was true? What if they were super caring and loving towards him and wanted nothing but good things for him? Idk, but being born into a loving family only to have that ripped away for whatever reason while your still an infant is 100x worse to me than being born into abuse and then going to another abusive place.

[skuntank]

Not to be a total cornball but my heart feels so full of love rn

[heaven-dope]

its so crazy how popular labru is now like i remember going through the tags and all i saw was kabumisu (this is a good ship. it is excellent, even - just seeing an influx of labru is crazy and a pleasant surprise for me)

i think kabru and laios are both freaks and nobody is wrong to be highlighting this because it is hysterical. but im also like 🥺 i love looking at their growing friendship and how kabru wanted to be laios's friend to understand him and theyre finally getting that!! foils meeting in the middle and appreciating the other!!

[loveriotss]

me starting new drafts knowing full well that i haven't finished any of my previous ones

[ivycrowned]

Astarion: *rolling dice sound* Hm. That looks worth checking out.

me: *blind as a bat, had a menu open, frantically searching* WHAT DO YOUR ELF EYES SEE?

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[kaibaspuppy]

I SAW HIM WITH HIS TITS OUT IT'S SO FUCKING OVERRR

[cryptidsandchamomile]

I'm so tired of masking I feel like I'm gonna tear my skin off

[faultlinescrew]

^ I can't do this with worm bc canon already does a good enough job so I'm just imagining them doing the most mundane of shit

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

got an interview in an hour im near 'n shittin meself here

[shiroselia]

There is genuinely nothing that makes me happier than a) being know as the dialogue guy among my friends b) teaching people about how to write dialogue because it's my baby and people tend to find it difficult and I LOVE TEACHING PEOPLE MY DIALOGUE TIPS

[sleepytoycollection]

aside from Scarah I've been de-gluing other dolls as well, and, predictably, it ruined Nefera's tinsel

instead of re-tinseling though I might just leave the old now-white tinsel? it reminds me of her white streak from her boo york doll

or I wonder if you could re color it some how instead of rooting? because I don't really like the tinsel options I've seen for dolls online. it looks very thick and stiff and not a great match to G1 tinsel

worst comes to worst I will pull it out and she'll just have her green and black and it'll look fine I'm sure, I'm just weighing my options.

oh! I wonder if gold thread would work ? it's a little unravel-y but a dab of fabric glue would fix that