#cringing at myself for talking about it outloud but it made me feel better (??)

[kazzsk2]

Extra doodle i did earlier

[air-in-words]

My Sorting Hat Chats Journey

So, hi! I'm back!

I've been doing fun stuff off in the real world, but I decided to talk a little bit about my own Sorting Hat Chats sorting journey, and how it says a lot about self-acceptance, and how understanding who you really are can sometimes only come from being an active participant in life. Here we goooo...

The Beginning

So, my initial sorting was a Burnt Badger/Bird. This had struck me, because I'd never considered myself a Badger in ANY media. I was seen by my friends as a borderline loner, someone who didn't need anyone else. And yet, all the signs were there.

Looking back on my life, I've always migrated in groups, always looked for a nesting ground, and truly that's all I want. A place to nest, a place to rest, where I can feel safe and surrounded by people who love me. But, after a childhood filled with bullying, I found myself embarrassed of my bold face need for friends, and, for some reason, decided getting too close to people for too long was unwise, so I could probably never have a permanent home. And yet, I always found myself in these little "groups," little packs of people that all travel together.

I've always had these friend groups, where everyone knows each other, we all hang out together, and yet it always manages to eventually fall apart. I asked one of my friends how this keeps happening, and who keeps setting up these groups. She blinked sort of vaguely and said, "uh, you do." It was such a strange realization to look back and see myself as the "shepherd" I was, always creating a flock wherever I went. I had always been the spoke of my friend wheels, the only one that was friends with everyone, or actively tried to be friends with everyone. And I would attempt to hold it together, but it would always ultimately shatter, and I'd leave to find and form another. Family is important to me, and it isn't enough for me to bond with one person. I like for all my friends to be friends with each other, for us all to hang out together and enjoy each other's company.

So, although I still struggle, Burnt Badger came out on top, and I believe is still at the top to this day. I still search for belonging. I still search for family. And, yet, my heart seems to have no intention of unburning. Until recently, I had no idea why.

On the other hand, the secondary I received, Bird, seemed to fit like a glove, and was very obvious to me. I've been called the Encyclopedia before, I was made fun of for being caught reading the dictionary like it was a book, and I always seem to have a "fun fact" for every occasion. And all of this seemed to flow directly into me trying to use these facts and this knowledge to win people over, to get to see me as someone that could be their friend, or that I could be reliable as a member of their "group." So, Burnt Badger/Bird simply made sense. The reasons for me avoiding unburning my primary were irrelevant.

The Now

I'd been gone from this side of Tumblr for a bit, and decided to return on a whim. Saw @wisteria-lodge still posting as much as ever, and saw a lot of my posts had been passed around in the meantime (thank ya by the way) and decided to dive back in, because since then, so much of my life has changed. I've had certain people out of my life for a while that were a hindrance on my self-acceptance, I've moved out of my childhood home, and left a job I've had for the past 5 years. I've been forced to constantly LIVE, to make choices, actual choices, and have been offered the chance to be who I truly am, unapologetically.

So, I took the quiz again, curious if I would come up any different.

I got Burnt Badger/Burnt Snake.

This time, I was almost insulted. A flush of memories, of past feelings came to me, most of all the need to push back, to insist in exasperation I'M NOT A LIAR, as though I was tired of defending myself. As hard as I tried, I somehow couldn't seem to get Bird secondary to reappear.... at all. Which was so crazy, because before, that was pretty much all I could get.

So, I went to the experts, the aforementioned wisteria-lodge and @sortinghatchats .

I looked through the Snake secondary tags and found myself lost in memories I had pushed down, so far down even I couldn't find them, wracked with shame and a need to hide this side of myself, something I'd hidden so well I'd pretty much convinced myself it had never existed.

Being a Bird had always been a choice for me. I decided that was what people must want, becoming intelligent, knowing all of these things, showing off, that would make people like me. But, although I can devour books like nobody's business, and I tend to worry and whinge before every major decision, feeling unprepared, I would always find myself falling short of my own expectations. The amount of times I'd promised myself and others to create a plan and study hard, ultimately fail to do so, and then lie to everyone about it was astounding. My public image continued to be "air-in-words the smart girl" but my private image was still LIAR and FAKE.

I would still somehow get all A's. I was very good at remembering facts and excellent at taking tests. I always thought of them like little tricks themselves, meant to trip you up, but if you paid attention, you could figure out the patterns and be able to bluster your way through stuff you might not even fully understand. You can figure out certain words through context clues, and I was always very comfortable trusting my memory with little preparation beforehand. And yet, I still lied and told everyone I'd studied, at least as a child, before high school.

Math was what eventually messed me up, and sent my self-image whirling into the ground. My grades suddenly went from straight A's to D's and F's. My parents were aghast, what had happened??? I was so intelligent, so smart, such a good student. What had gone wrong?? And, although I never admitted it outloud to them, I knew the answer. With math, you can't trick your way out. You either know how to do it and give the right answer, or you don't. And I had never studied a day in my life, never practiced, never worked hard at all. It was my horrible little secret and math had outed me. It continues to out me, because rather than actually work at it and get better, I managed to keep my grades through high school afloat by leaning on my other grades and taking remedial math courses with a teacher who loved me very much and would let me off easy. To this day, honestly, I can barely count. I might actually have some form of dyscalculia, but I know that if I were willing to try a little harder I could get better. But, why would I do that, when this way works just fine? Just coasting through? But, again, no one could know. Not even myself.

Through high school, I began letting people in on my secret Snake, because being a "slacker" was suddenly cool. I still couldn't let my parents know, or the teachers, but coming clean about not being a keener was what earned me new friend groups. I wasn't some weirdo who actually studied all the time: I was a kid who maybe did 60-70% of my homework and slid by on my good memory and general interest in learning. And my reputation. My reputation was key to my success.

College would be the thing that completely threw me to the ground. There were simply too many sirens singing at me, distractions pulling me away from my work. I'd never looked less like a Bird than in college. I was always skipping class, always not studying, and in fact, would openly fail most of my courses. And I just didn't seem to care. I slid into what I guess must have been a sort of neutral zone, but I wasn't happy. The mask was slipping off and I needed out. I couldn't keep up this charade anymore. It was stifling, trying to be a Bird, going to college for a very Bird degree, surrounded by actual Birds, it was all very much what I didn't want. I wanted something less "academic," less, well, boring. Maybe more Snake like.

And, so, here we are. Currently dropped out of college, living in an apartment with my friend, away from my parents' prying eyes, and with a new job that I chose for myself. On the brink of finally understanding myself, and maybe accepting myself as I am.

My Badger primary is burned because of my Snake secondary. Because I thought I was a sham, a liar, a con, and I didn't feel like I deserved to have people close to me. Those traits are bad, and I was a bad person. No one should be tricked by me.

But, after reading some of the stories from the experts and other Snake secondaries, I found this crazy thought, that perhaps being this way isn't a bad thing. Maybe I'm not a bad person. Maybe it's okay to be who I am. Maybe I can use these "powers" for good, and they aren't inherently evil.

So, at least for now, I'm choosing to identify as Burnt Badger/Burnt Snake with Bird Model. Seeing how it feels to accept myself and not try and force myself to be who I think I should be, or who others want me to be (which is a Snake secondary thing in the first place. Lol!)

For Fun, Here's Some Crazy Actual Snake Secondary Things I've Done That I'm Trying to Be Less Ashamed of Now

When I was little, I used to make up crazy stories about things I'd done to seem more interesting. The one that makes me cringe the most is that my uncle has a statue in his backyard that comes to life and goes on adventures with me. My uncle DID have a statue in his backyard that I really loved but no, it didn't (and still hasn't) come to life.

Some of these, I can't explain, like this one, where I somehow had more than one teacher convinced I'd handed in every piece of homework before the one I was giving them the sob story about that day. I literally had a teacher look me in the face, tell me I'd been handing in my homework really well thus far and knew I was trustworthy, so they'd let me slide with no mark against me. Meanwhile, I had missed the homework for the past THREE WEEKS IN A ROW. I just smiled and let it go. Variations of this situation happened throughout high school and college. And, no, I had no good reason not to do the homework. I just didn't want to do it. Lol.

I usually live in the "neutral state" around my close friends, since I think it's disrespectful not to be straight with them, but I have had to turn it on to help them occasionally. One of my friends was having issues with an ex of hers, she was thinking that maybe she should go back out with the guh, and I had been my blunt, neutral self the whole time, telling her flat out that that was a bad idea. But, it wasn't working. "Neutral state" isn't like a Lion's forceful natural state, I guess. So, I decided I would have to push her in a certain direction to help her get through it. I told her she should go back out with him, and although she did sort of call me out for lying, knowing I didn't actually want that, I told her she should if she really think she should. The dude didn't last one date without showing his ass again, and she thanked me for making her do that. Lol.

Finally, at least for this list, my most prized shameful memory, is when I was taking an acting class in college. We were supposed to create a wordless scene as our final, and I hadn't prepared anything, so I just skipped the day we were supposed to do them. But, I decided to show up for the last day to see if I could still somehow pass. She's going through the grades, and looks up and asks me, "I don't have anything written down for you, I can't remember, did you give a performance or not?" I knew I hadn't then, but decided to give one now. I told her yes I had done one, don't you remember came up with a name on the fly. The same friend from the last story was staring at me like she was about to burst. She thought for a moment, then exclaimed, "ah, of course! Yes, I think I remember. I remember you'd done pretty well. What grade did I give you?" I hedged my bets and said A-. Lol. I had never been filled with more pride shame in my life.

[profitinaecho]

Dark Max pt 6 (explicit under cut)

“I shot out a lightbulb again today.” Rosa dropped onto the stool next to Liz.

“Oh yeah?” Liz tried not to look guilty. Max had definitely been the one to blow that particular bulb out.

“I know Max isn’t himself right now but do you think he could teach me how to use my powers so that doesn’t keep happening? I’m scared I’m going to end up doing that in front of people. I didn’t even feel the electricity when I did that today.” Rosa fretted, twirling her hair nervously. “Also, did you notice someone left their underwear in the bathroom earlier?”

Liz cringed. “Actually, today was me and Max.”

“What?” And then Rosa realized what her sister was saying. “Oh! Good for you but gross!”

“I can still ask him to help you with your powers if you’d like.”

——————————

A few days later, Liz was dragging a razor up her legs sitting on the bathroom counter in just shorts and a tank after dinner when Max appeared in her connected bedroom. Startled, she knicked herself and started to bleed.

“What are you doing to my legs?” Max asked, concerned.

All of Liz’s parts got excited at his possessiveness over her. “They’re MY legs and I accidentally cut myself because you scared me.”

Max pulled his shirt up over his head and stepped in between her legs, and gently took the razor from her hand.

“What are you doing?” Liz watched him move the razor toward her legs.

“Helping.” Max thought it was obvious.

“Should I be trusting you with a sharp object?” Liz sassed him.

Max smirked at her in response. His eyes stood on her as he rested his palms on her thighs, above the shaving cream below her knees. Liz wouldn’t mind if they have sex right there, but it would make a mess. Although it was right next to the shower and they could probably barely both fit in there. Max’s eyes dropped and he gave her thighs a squeeze. He’s focused on her vag peeking through the large leg holes of her sleep boxers.

Luckily, she got that waxed after their time in the Crashdown bathroom so he shouldn’t have any snarky comments. His eyes lifted, heavy with need. Briefly, Liz swore he’s just going to drop to his knees and shove his face in between her thighs. The lights flicker a couple times in warning before he released his grip on her thighs and lifted her shaving cream leg. Max rested the sole of her foot against the center of his chest. Liz is very confused until he lifted the razor and headed toward her leg. She tried to pull her leg back but he held her ankle tightly.

“Don’t you trust me? I’d never hurt you, Liz” The look he gave her made her toes curl. He was so sexy. She was in so much trouble. “I’m good at shaving. I bet I do less damage than you did. And if I don’t, I’ll just heal it.”

“Ha. Ha. You think you’re so funny.” Liz teased him then gasped as he pressed a kiss to her bare ankle below the shaving cream. Then he touched the blade to her leg and skimmed away the cream. Liz willed herself to stay still.

He went over her shin first, then lifted her leg to get the back of it. “You’re flexible, huh?”

Liz laughed, embarrassed. “Just one of my hidden talents.”

“Seriously, it’s sexy.” Max made another pass with the razor. Once finished, he tossed it in the sink and held a washcloth under the warm water in the sink. He then ran it over her legs to wash away anything left over. The spot where she cut herself was suspiciously gone. “I think I did a good job.” Max pressed a kiss to her ankle.

“You did great. Thank you for not cutting me.” Liz meant it to be teasing but it came out all breathy. He lowered her leg and stepped between her legs. He was still wearing sweatpants so Liz could feel him there but they were separated by layers of clothing.

Max ran his hands through Liz’s long wavy hair and gently tilted her head back. She expected him to go straight to tongue fucking her but he surprised her by gently kissing the edge of her jaw, then her chin. It was sweet and unexpected.

Liz closed her eyes and waited for his lips to touch hers. She felt his breath gust across her face- it smelled like cinnamon. And then, she felt nothing. Liz’s eyes popped open to find he had dropped to his knees in between her legs. He pulled her forward until she was teetering on the edge of the cabinet. It creaked ominously and Liz hoped it was securely bolted to the wall.

Max bit the inside of her thigh and sucked hard. When she gasped, he released her skin. He inched his fingers forward to her hips to pull her shorts and panties off. He dropped them to the floor then he nuzzled into her inner thigh, his scruff tickling her sensitive skin. He stayed like that, breathing heavily between her legs like he’s trying to compose himself, Liz had no idea why he was just kneeling there but he looked hot and it was building anticipation.

Max dropped wet kisses up her thighs until he reached the spot that brought her the most pleasure. The first clit lick was tentative but the second involved him curling his tongue and sent shocks of pleasure through her body. Liz moaned loud- the acoustics in the bathroom were killer. Max’s eyes lifted to hers and then he started to suck on her clit. Liz can’t even imagine how much practice he has had to be able to do that.

“Not as much as you would think.” Max teased her, disengaging just long enough to reply.

“I said that outloud?” Liz makes a baffled face.

“No. I can read minds.” Liz squeezed her legs together in warning and Max laughed. “I’m surprised you haven’t come yet.”

“Well, if you would stop talking smack and start licking… oh!” Liz lost her train of thought when he started flat tonguing her. She pulled his hair and started moving him to the rhythm and places she needed him. He nipped her clit and that was it- she was falling into a multiple orgasm. Her muscles continue contracting like they’re looking for his dick which isn’t there.

“Feel better?” Max asked but he had to have already known.

“Uh huh. Now what about you?”

“Liz! You know it is only 8 and I can hear you right? It’s all echoy in there.” Isobel knocked on the door. She was thrilled they were back together but she didn’t need to hear that. “I’m not coming in, because gross, but I don’t need to hear my brother doing that. It is my brother right?”

Liz flushed red and Max laughed. “Of course it is. Hello Isobel.” Max was covered in Liz’s fluids so he wiped his face off on Isobel’s decorative bathroom towel then hung it up where it belonged.

“I can’t believe that just happened. Maybe we should be doing this at your place?” Liz was so embarrassed.

“Yes. Definitely do your fucking at Max’s house.” Isobel snarked.

“Isobel!” Max hissed and Isobel laughed before they heard her walking away. “Come here. I need a little something right here.” Max tapped his cheek. He had a tiny dimple there and Liz wanted to press it- with her tongue.

Liz came back over to him and kissed his cheek then his lips. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You like it.” Max was cocky.

——————————

The next day, towards the end of her shift, Liz’s phone buzzed with a message from Max.

Max: You want to come over and have a naked pillow fight after work?

Liz smiled. It sounded fun but she needed to toy with him a bit.

Liz: Is that a euphemism?

Max: Do you want it to be? I don’t know, we could order take out and hang out.

Liz was confused. Max was very clear that he wanted to be casual but that sounded like a date.

Liz: Since when do we hang out? I thought you said this was casual.

Max: Since now. Wear something easy to take off and come hungry. See you soon.

Liz bit her lip considering it and decided to go for it.

Liz: Ok. I get off in 20

Max: Yeah you will

——————————

“Oof!” Liz was hit with a throw pillow as she walked into Max’s house. “Hey! No fair. I don’t have a pillow.”

“You’re not naked either. We’ve all got to make sacrifices, Liz.” Max teased her, whacking her one more time with the pillow for good measure. “What are you craving for dinner? You choose.”

“What about Italian? Eggplant parmigiana sounds so good right now.” Liz’s mouth was watering just thinking about it.

“Great choice. I’ll order in from Bella’s.” Max pulled out a drawer full of take out menus and started looking for the one he wanted.

Max called the restaurant and ordered Liz’s eggplant and spaghetti and meatballs for himself. The second Max hung up with the restaurant after ordering, Max has Liz pressed against his living room bookshelves with her face in his hands. His mouth crashed down on hers and his tongue slipped into her mouth. He groaned, deep and needy. Tiny pleasure currents zip through Liz’s body. They made out while they waited for the food to arrive. It was simple,  but they finally had their first date.

[romansrgn]

{show me your love...}

ch. 1

Ayanna stood in the middle of the street she grew up on with her best friend of a little over fifteen years as she struggled to gain the courage she always had but often lost when she was in front of him.

“I need to say this and the only way I could do that is if I just put everything out there and lay all of my cards on the table.”

Seth frowned “What cards?”

Ayanna laughed nervously. She knew he needed her to say something to make this less confusing for him. But in the end nothing she could say would make her want him any less. Despite how confusing her own feelings felt. "I don’t know. I don't even know what I'm saying.”

Seth grabbed her hand “We’re friends. So whatever’s going on with you we can work through it, together.”

Ayanna nodded “It definitely works better that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not usually attracted to grudge band listening, crossfit weirdos. But here I am.”

“Attracted?” Seth raised a brow.

Ayanna gave a slight nod as if she couldn't believe she was finally saying it outloud “I know right.”

Seth didn't know what to say. His friend since he was a teenager was admitting she was attracted to him. Sure, she was hot, smart ass hell with a personality that made everyone in the room want to be around her..but she was one of his best friends for god sake. If he went there with her he was liable to fuck up their entire friendship. Not to mention there were other things happening now.

Ayanna laughed a little “This worked out so much better in my head.”

So she decided to take a different approach “Remember last summer after my dad died and how lost I was? That summer I felt like my entire world came crashing down and I couldn’t do anything about it except drink myself into numbness. And you know what? it worked. It worked until you came back into town and you made me feel things. Things I didn’t want to feel because you’re you. I wanted to be angry at you, the world and the doctors who couldn't do anything to save my dad's life but you wouldn’t allow that. But in the end it turned out that you were what I needed in probably one of the darkest times of my life. And I-I don’t know what I’m saying but I know what I'm feeling isn't changing. I care about you, Seth. Every since I was a kid. I’ve always cared about you.”

The two friends merely stared at each other trying to gauge the others reaction. After what felt like minutes  Seth cleared his throat “Umm I don’t know what to say.” 

“I can see that. I’m not asking you to feel the same way I do I just— I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

Seth took a small step towards her closing the space between them. He ran his hand through her hair and resting it at the back of her neck “You know how much I love you. You’re beautiful, funny and smart and anybody would be lucky to have you but–”

“But–”

“Hey, babe.” a strong Irish accent interrupted the two friends “Are you ready to go?”

Babe

Seth held eye contact with Ayanna before dropping his hand from her hair “Yea, I was just saying hello to a friend.”

Friend.

Ayanna nodded before taking a step back from Seth. The vulnerability he once saw in her dark brown eyes were replaced with indifference.

“Is this Ayanna?” Rebekah asked looking at Seth who nodded. His eyes never leaving Ayanna's “Well it's so nice to finally meet you. Seth has told me so much about you."

Ayanna smiled tightly “Nice to meet you too. I’m sorry I can't say the same.”

Both girls shook hands “I’m Rebekah. Seth’s girlfriend.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.” Ayanna looked at Seth who gave a sympathetic smile.

“We’re still kind of new with the labels. So your the first one to hear us say it out loud.”

“Lucky me.” Ayanna mumbled “Well, I’ve held you guys up long enough. I’m going to go.”

Rebekah looked between Seth and Ayanna “I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys–”

Ayanna waved a hand “Don’t worry about it. I was making a fool out of myself anyway so I’m glad you came in for the save.”

Rebekah laughed. Liking the young woman already.

“Ayanna, we need to finish talking.” Seth said holding her gaze.

“No, I think I’ve said enough. As a matter of fact everything I said was probably the alcohol speaking. I’ve been out with the girls and I kind of had way too much to drink. So just ignore me.”

Seth didn’t smell an ounce of alcohol on her but he played along “Let me take you home.”

“You know my house is up the street. I’ll be fine.” She looked back at Rebekah who was smiling at her “You guys look great together. Have a great night.” she said before walking away leaving the couple alone.

Rebekah smiled “You too, Yaya.”

Ayanna looked pointedly at Seth. Seth closed his eyes when she bit down on her bottom lip. He knew she was trying to prevent herself from crying. So when she walked off he didn’t stop her. He’ll get his time with her later.

She wouldn't say she ran all the way home but she would call it a slight jog. All she wanted to do was put as much space between herself and her embarrassment as possible.

Ayanna visibly cringed at the use of the nickname Seth gave her "Its, Ayanna.”

Tasha Kordei smiled at her daughter "I came to see you. But I saw you were busy catching up with Seth and his friend. So I didn't want to interrupt."

Ayanna sighed "it's his girlfriend, mom."

"Girlfriend?"

Ayanna cursed when she dropped her keys she tried again but her front door was swung open "Mom? What are you doing here?"

"Yup, and she's Irish too."

Mrs. Kordei didn't look impressed "Fascinating. Did you at least tell him about the good news?"

Ayanna blinked totally forgetting about that "No, I didn't. I completely forgot.

"Honey--"

Ayanna slipped her jacket off her shoulders "Mom, I got so caught up with telling him something else that it slipped my mind. If I see him again I'll tell him."

Mrs. Kordei frowned "What's more important than telling him you're moving to Australia?" Then it dawned her "So you finally told him."

"What--"  Ayanna eyes widen "How did you--"

"You're my daughter and I've known Seth since you were twelve and he was seventeen. Your father and I use to wonder what a young man that age would be doing hanging around a kid. At first we hated it. But Seth took care of you and he looked after you.  So we grew accustomed to it. But we weren't blind to your growing crush on him. I remember that time you got so angry at him for taking Donna Stevens to the prom. You didn’t speak to him for almost three weeks and it killed him. I remember when he told you he was moving to Davenport so he could continue his wrestling training and that night you cried your little heart out. From that moment I never thought you would get over your feelings for him and I was right. And when your father died,” Tasha took a moment to get herself together “I was so scared for you honey. I mean I was terrified. You were drinking, doing drugs and just doing all of these things that was so unlike you. So I called him. I called Seth. I knew if anyone could bring you back from that darkness. I knew it would be him and for that I’m grateful.”

Ayanna took a sip of her water. Taking in everything her mother said before turning to look at her. She didn't know her mother was the one who called Seth.  “Daddy, always said I wear my heart on my sleeve. After so many years and the distance. I thought my feelings would change. I mean their have been others. With both boys and girls. But none of them were him.”

Tasha walked over to her daughter and wrapped the small woman in her arms “I feel the same way about your father. Sometimes when you know, you just know.

Her phone beeped and her mother handed it to her. It was a text from Seth.

Ur still coming to my show tomorrow night, right? :)

Tasha gave her daughter a sympathetic smile.

Thinking she said more than enough tonight. Ayanna decided to keep it short.

Sure :)

LATER THE NEXT DAY.

“Is that what you’re wearing to the show?”

Ayanna shrugged “Yea, what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Did you just roll out of bed or??” Jaydean deadpanned.

“First of all, what’s wrong with how I look? Its Raw not a strip club.”

Jaydean held up a  hand “Correction, it’s a show that the man your ass has been in love with since you were twelve years old has invited  you to. The same damn show that his girlfriend becky with the good hair will also be featured on.”

Ayanna shook her head “No, I’m not going there to steal her man or whatever--I’m there to support Seth and then I’m going home to pack.”

“No, bitch. You’re  going there to show Sethie what he’s missing and then we’re going to the club. It’s ladies night.”

Ayanna raised a brow.

“Oh, please. I know the girl who planned tonight’s event. Now go change. The outfit I picked out for you is hanging up behind your bathroom door.”

When she emerged from the house Jayden grinned "Yes, this is what I'm here for. Body and looks for days."

"And what about my personality?" Ayanna asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"Eh, we'll work on that later. Time is money, honey."

Ayanna punched him in the arm "Dick and for that your ass is driving."

Ayanna rolled her eyes before going in and doing as she was told.

"Uh uh. I hate parking downtown." Jaydean said following behind Ayanna.

Braelin smiled when she saw who was sitting in the front row "Hi, stranger."

Ayanna grinned "I could say the same thing about you. You're glowing."

"It's the coco butter I use three times a day."

Both girls laughed.

"Or it could be that baby bump you've been hiding since April, but ok."

Braelin failed to hide her shock "Is it that obvious?"

Ayanna gave her a look "That whole black makes you look slimmer thing is a myth. Please let that go."

Braelin laughed "Hush, well since my not so secret is out. Yes, I'm pregnant."

"What are you having?"

"Twins. A boy and a girl."

Ayanna pouted "Damn, so much for that gender reveal party."

"That's what Briyanna and Naomi said. But the gender reveal party  just seems played. Just throw me an old fashioned baby shower."

Ayanna nodded "Ok, I can do that. But the baby shower needs to happen within the next month."

Braelin furrowed her eyebrows "Why?"

"Well, I got a job offer in Australia."

A range of emotions flew across Braelin’s face but shock won out "Wow, Australia. Congratulations!"

Ayanna laughed "Are you sure?"

Braelin brought Ayanna into a hug "Of course I'm sure. I'm just shocked. That's really far away. How did Seth take the news?"

Ayanna remained silent. In which Braelin nodded her head in understanding "You didn't tell him, yet." 

"I wanted to tell him last night but it slipped my mind. I met Rebekah though." Ayanna looked pointedly at the ring were Rebekah was training. "She's good."

"She is. I would be surprised if you didn't. Your opinion matters to him."

"We didn't meet on purpose. She introduced herself to me. I guess she came home with him." Ayanna mumbled the last part.

Braelin wasn't one to give relationship advice especially not when she was in a hot mess she was currently in but what kind of friend would she be if she didn't at least give Ayanna a chance to talk to Seth.

"Did you come here with anyone?"

Ayanna nodded "Yea, I came here with Jaydean."

Braelin looked around "Where is he now?"

"He's still looking for a parking space."

Braelin snorted "Well, that gives us thirty minutes tops." she said grabbing Ayanna's hand "Come with me."

"Wait, where are we going?"

"You need to talk to Set--"

"No, absolutely not. I can't tell him I'm moving to Australia right before the show. I can do it after. I promise."

Braelin didn't look convinced "Fine, but it wouldn't hurt to wish him luck. In person."

Ayanna conceded knowing what her friend was trying to do despite how badly she wanted to run in the opposite direction "Ok, but only for a few minutes. I need to be here when Jaydean gets back."

Braelin nodded leading the young woman backstage. It wasn't until Ayanna was from behind the barricade that Braelin got a good look at what she was wearing "Damn, Yaya."

Ayanna blushed "This was all Jaydean." She defended.

That made sense. Braelin thought. The Ayanna she knew wore sweatpants, leggings and oversized t shirts. She rarely showed skin of any kind and looking at her now she really didn't understand why??

"Well, I'm glad he's taking you out of your comfort zone. Try not to give any of the guys..or girls heart palpitations before the show starts, ok?

Both girls laughed and headed to Seth's dressing room.

Braelin introduced her to the guys who were gawking and the girls that were openly curious about the newcomer.

Ayanna smiled when she saw Roman in the hallway. They did their cute little handshake before embracing each other in a hug "It's been forever since I've seen you."

Roman rolled his eyes "It's been a month and I remember face timing you with Seth at least three times after that."

Ayanna's giggle prompted Seth to stick his head out of his dressing room. His long hair hung a little past his shoulder in naturally curly state. He had on his brand new Seth t shirt and a pair of jeans. "I thought I recognized that laugh. How long have you been out here?"

Ayanna shrugged "Not long. I just came to wish you good luck tonight."

Braelin cleared her throat a little too dramatically which forced three heads to turn in her direction "I'm sorry. Allergy season."

Seth nodded before turning his attention back to Ayanna "You want to come in for a bit?"

Yes. "Actually, I can't---

"Yes, you can. I'll send Jay up to the sky box and you can join him when you're done." Braelin interjected.

Roman looked down at the mother of his children "What are you up too?

Braelin shrugged "Nothing."she smirked before walking away.

Seth looked confused by the exchanged but stepped aside so she could go inside. He had a few words with Roman before  turning his attention to Ayanna "You look different."

Ayanna snorted "Different? Is that your weird way of giving me a compliment?"

Seth took a moment to take in what she was wearing. He knew Ayanna was  a beautiful girl but she had a level of sexiness to her that wasn't there before. Or maybe it was and he just didn’t see it until now. She had on a pair of biker shorts that showed off her silky smooth legs and amazing ass. While her champion long sleeve was tied up to show off her abs.

Seth cleared is throat and rubbed his neck when he realized he was down right ogling her “Of course it is. I’m glad you came because I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

“I told you I was drunk so everything I said was influenced by lots of tequila and not enough chasers.”

“I thought you stopped drinking?” He asked folding his arms across his chest.

“It was one night. Not several. So relax.”

“Relax? You promised me, remember? Or were you just blowing smoke up my ass?”

Ayanna looked affronted not knowing where all of this was suddenly coming from “I came here to wish you good luck. I did that and now I think it’s time for me to leave.”

Seth closed his eyes not knowing what the hell he was doing. He knew she wasn't drinking because he didn't smell an ounce of alcohol on her last night. He grabbed her arm lightly to keep her from leaving “I’m sorry for acting like a dick. I’m also sorry for not telling you about Rebekah.”

“It’s fine. There’s no rule that exists that we’re required to introduce into each other to our respective others.”

However, there was a part of her that wished there was one that existed between them. Maybe then she wouldn't have felt blindsided by Rebekah.

Seth took a large step towards her closing the space between them. “That’s not what I meant. I know it took a lot to admit that you have feelings for me and I get it. I care about you a great deal and I always will. But, I love our friendship and everything we’ve built from that. Our friendship means so much to me that if I ruin that by taking things to another level with you….I wouldn't be able to live with myself.”

Ayanna gave a short nod. She willed herself not to feel the rejection that was injected into her heart but damn it if it wasn't hard.  However, this rejection in hindsight made what she was going to say a lot easier. She knew if she ever wanted to get over Seth she needed to put an entire continent between them and maybe with time she would be able to move on.  “I have to be honest I came here for ulterior motives” she took a step back from Seth and that’s when he saw it again, that in difference “I got a job offer to be a photographer for Vogue Australia and I accepted.”

Silence

More silence

Seth opened and closed his mouth willing something to come out but all he could do was run a frustrated hand through his hair something she's grown accustomed to him doing since he was a teenager.

“Gee, Congratulations, Ya Ya. I know how hard you’ve worked to get your stuff on major magazines where millions of people will get to see it. Great job.” she mocked.

Seth narrowed his eyes “Yes, great job. Great job moving across the fucking world where no one knows you while everyone you love is here, you know..home.”

“Are you serious right? You of all people are lecturing me on moving a way? You moved a way to pursue your dream but its a problem when I do it?”

“Yes” he yelled. Something he never did to Ayanna who jumped "You’re not moving a couple of fucking miles away, Yaya. It's an entire fucking continent.” he said pacing back and fourth.

Ayanna bit down on her bottom lip “Here I thought my best friend would finally be happy for me instead--”

Seth shook his head “No, you’re not going to make me the bad guy.” he suddenly laughed when something occurred to him “When did you agree to this job? Don't answer that. Because I know when it was. It was after you met Rebekah. Amirite?”

Yup, it was definitely time for her to leave. Ayanna headed to the door but decided she couldn't  leave without setting him straight “I got the job offer last summer. But I was in no shape to do it. So, I was going to turn it down because I didn't think I could handle it, not after my dad died. But after a little time they called me again and I accepted. That was four months ago. As hard as it seems, my life doesn't revolve around you.”

Seth shrugged helplessly finding it hard to believe that she will no longer be in reaching distance “What am I supposed to do?”

She smiled sadly, “It’s funny because I asked myself the same thing. But I guess it's about time we figure it out. Have a great show.”

By the time he made it to the ring to cut the first promo of the night. He scanned the front row and up at the sky box only to see that she was gone.

AN: Ayanna has spent most of her adult life in love with Seth so it's going to be interesting to see how and she tries to move on from him as well as how Seth will cope with not having Yaya in reaching distance. They're definitely in for it.

Sidenote:  Reviews are everything because it let's me know what you're thinking so please comment or drop your comments inbox. I read them all. Anyways, until next time kids!

taglist: meishaabae,  passionatedancer05, @queenofthearchitect, 

[mandaating]

New Beginnings

written by @yeetyoteyoudabomb

steve rogers x reader

summary: reader is jilted, steve gets a second chance. you gotta read my dood lol.

characters: you, steve, tony, ex-fiance, Natasha, Wanda

word count: 1,971

notes: this is my first time doing anything like this!!!!!!! go easy on me, i had fun writing this tho and i hope u enjoy!!!!!!!

requests are open lol

I crumpled to the floor, right there in the middle of the common room. My hand was shaking, shaking so hard that my phone dropped to the ground. Tony looked over at the commotion, and suddenly, he was by my side.

“(Y/N)!” He wrapped me in a hug, trying to make me look at him and not the floor in front of me. I didn’t want to look at him, in fear that I would start to scream and cry and sob. “Come on, what’s the matter? Look at me. FRIDAY, do a scan.” He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. His brown eyes were concerned, eyebrows pulled low.

“Seratonin and oxytocin levels are quite low, sir. Otherwise, Ms. (Y/L) is fine.” FRIDAY announced, and Tony visibly relaxed. My vision blurred, and I felt tears streaking down my cheeks.

“You have to tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you and I feel terrible just watching you cry.” He whispered, pulling me into a tight hug. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I said it outloud for the first time.

“Max broke off our engagement, said that he found someone else.” All of that fighting against my sobs was no use. My body shook violently, and Tony just held me. He took a breath in to talk, but I involuntarily snorted. I pulled back a little bit, and Tony looked like he was trying very very hard not to laugh. Seeing his face set in such a serious expression made me laugh, and soon enough we were just laying on the floor laughing our asses off. Every time we made eye contact, it just made us laugh even harder. Right when it seemed like the giggles were leaving our systems, Steve walked in, and his expression of ultra confusion made us laugh even harder.

“Oh my God, Steve!” I clung to Tony and just pointed at poor Steve, who looked extremely concerned now. He walked over and knelt down so he was on our level.

“Are you okay?” His sincere words wiped the smile off of my face. I felt the tears on my cheeks again, and everything came crashing back down again. Tony recognized this, and he just looked at me with sad, sad eyes.

“Not really.” I stated, and my phone dinged. Another text. Probably containing more bad news. I picked it up, the newly cracked screen symbolizing exactly how I felt in that moment.

Can I have my ring back? It was expensive.

I felt tears prickling the back of my eyes, threatening to spill over. The diamond ring that so prettily decorated my finger meant nothing and was to be returned. Tony and Steve wrapped me in another hug. After a little bit, Tony pulled back and left me in Cap’s embrace. He gently pried the phone from my hands, and his scoff sent me into a fit of louder sobs. It got to the point where I couldn’t stand anymore, and Steve just scooped me up and brought me to my room.

“Do you want me to go, or - ” I pulled him down next to me and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him stiffen underneath my touch, but then soften.

“Please stay.” I begged, tears leaking out of my eyes. Who knew one could cry this much? He held me, and kissed my hair.

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to, doll.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How about this one? It’s sexy. All eyes on you.” Natasha shook the dress in front of me, and I cringed. It was red, backless, strapless, and dignity-less. We were having a party in honor of my becoming an official Avenger.

“I guess.” I shrugged, and Natasha tossed it at me. Before I could catch it though, it was encased in a red light and flung back at her. Wanda shoved a white, off the shoulder, curve-hugging dress at me instead.

“This one is more understated, but still sexy.” She argued, and Natasha waved her off.

“Back and no straps is the sexiest don’t even at me. And plus, (Y/N) has red pumps but not white ones.” Natasha raised an eyebrow at Wanda. She sighed. Wanda searched through my closet again, and fished out a dipped blue sundress, with a nipped in waist. Her face lit up, and she looked at me.

“We all know Steve would like her in this!” I blushed, and rushed forward to slap her.

“Wanda, shut up! You’re so loud!” They just giggled. It was a well-known fact among everyone in the team that after my breakup with Max, I had started to develop feelings for the super soldier. We spent our evenings together, trained together, teased each other, and commonly pranked each other. I snickered just thinking about the most recent prank, where I put red hair dye in his conditioner just to prove that he did use it. He had been vehemently denying that fact until I had -

“He clearly likes you back so it doesn’t even matter who hears.” I blushed, realizing that I had already started to daydream about him. Natasha said matter-of-factly, already digging through my shoes to see which ones matched the best. She turned around, waving a pair of blue ballerina flats around with flourish. Wanda nodded.

“He’s always talking about you.” She smiled, and I pulled the blue sundress over my head. I looked at them, not believing a word they said.

“It’s true, it seems like I am you based off of all of the things I know because of Steve.” Nat rolled her eyes. My heart was pounding. No, it wasn’t true. Think about the last time you fell in love. It wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be.

“(Y/N), just because that douchebag Max jilted you doesn’t mean that you can’t try again with Steve. He’d never do that to you.” Wanda put her hand on mine.

“He’s too nice. If anything, you’d be the one to break his heart, not the other way around.” Nat rolled her eyes. “Now quit sitting around waiting for him to make a move. Let’s get downstairs.” We laughed. I laced up my Chucks and headed out the door side by side with Wanda and Nat.

The second we stepped into the party, it felt like everyone’s eyes were on us. The only person I could look at though was Steve. He looked stunning, which wasn’t fair, seeing that he was just wearing a blue plaid shirt and khakis. His hair was still slightly red from the hair dye, and I giggled just thinking about it. But before I could take my place by his side, Tony pulled me to him and shoved a shot into my hands.

“Congratulatory shots!” He tipped his into his mouth, and I followed suit. How could a party thrown by a Stark be anything other than fun and full of drinks? Steve caught my eye and winked. I made a silent promise with my wide smile to see him later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finishing my second drink of the night, I excused myself from the party and went out to the nearest balcony. It was getting way too hot in there. Tony must have turned up the heat or something, because my body really couldn’t handle it. As a way to cool down, I gathered some water out of the air using my powers, and played around with the sphere that formed. The night was particularly quiet. Yes, New York was the city that never sleeps, but there wasn’t as many sirens as there were normally. Meant no work for us. Although, sometimes, I wished that -

“Needed some quiet as well?” I whipped around and flung the water in my hands at the speaker. Poor Steve stood there, water drenching his head and shoulders, a light smile dusting his lips. I laughed at his expression.

“I’m so sorry!” I touched some of the water droplets on his face, willing them to become gas once again. He just smiled and batted my hands away, leaning against the railing. Turning towards me, he smirked. Goddammit, quit being so...I don’t know, pure? Hot? A wave of affection and love washed over me, filling me with warmness.

“I was actually looking forward to talking to you, but I can see the feeling isn’t exactly mutual.” He teased, and I slapped him.

“Well when you sneak up on me like that - ” He turned and pretended to leave, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Steve I was just kidding.” We smiled at each other, and suddenly realized together that I was still holding his bicep. Flustered, I let go and turned towards the streets below us, hoping that he wouldn’t notice how deeply I was blushing. It was silent for a couple of minutes.

“I know it’s a jerk move to bring up Max, but I just wanted to say that maybe it was for the better.” When I turned around to glare at him, he panicked and quickly backtracked. “(Y/N), I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it in a way that it gave me a chance with you again.” He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. I just stared. A chance with me again? A chance? Oh, Steve. I wrapped my hands around his neck, forcing him to face me. He immediately pulled me closer to him, and I smiled. It was like an instinct. “I - (Y/N) - ”

I shushed him with a kiss. There was no hesitation when he started to kiss back, nothing unnatural about it. It was as if his lips were molded to fit against mine. These weren’t like the kisses that Max and I shared, not at all. Steve’s were patient, sweet, hopeful, everything I wished I had with Max. His tongue made its way into my mouth, and I let him. He pulled me closer, somehow, and I clung to him like I needed him to live.

“Finally! Damn, I thought I was going to have to lock you guys in a closet together!” Tony’s voice cut us apart quicker than he had appeared. When I looked over, he stood at the doorway, a confident smirk decorating his face. Steve groaned and pulled himself away from me, just a little bit more.

“Tony, can you mind your own business?” I was still somewhat breathless from our kiss, and all I could do was look back and forth between the two men. Tony noticed how flushed I was, and backed off. But not before snarking to the both of us, which deserved an eye roll.

“If you don’t take her to bed tonight I will!” And the doors slammed, ending our precious time with the great Tony Stark. The man tired me sometimes. I turned back to Steve, and his cheeks were bright red. Cupping his face, he turned to look at me, and I almost laughed at his expression.

“Steve, it’s alright. We’ll start with dinner tomorrow, take things slow.” He smiled, and kissed me again. I could get used to all of this kissing. He pulled away and looked me in the eye, his expression almost making me tear up. There was so much pure love and affection that I felt like the most special girl in the entire world. He smiled at me, a hopeful smile.

“Whatever you say. You’re the captain between us.” And I kissed him again, because for as long as we were together, I was going to look back on this night like it was the most perfect night ever. Which it was. How could anything not be perfect when Steve, the man of everyone’s dreams, was kissing me breathless, promising the start of a beautiful relationship?

[mediacinemtographyartetc]

Just watched Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Okay my issues is that as an artist/writer and Media enthusiast means I can take the BEST movie and see flaws. [it's a curse]

The issue I have is that I have no idea how to describe the sequel to Sonic the hedgehog 2.

I hated and loved this movie, overall there's some parts I would remove and tweak some scenes to make it better but overall STH2 has a strong concept lovable characters so I enjoy more sequels to come. So if you want to read my reasons of why I disliked the movies [and parts I would tweak] then feel free to read on, if you loved the movie then know I don't hate it, just see a few flaws that kinda ruins the submersion for me. I enjoyed the movie ton I'm just pointing out the flaws so my criticism isn't a reflection or attack on anyone just my own personall thoughts and feelings.

Overall I figured that compared to the first movie that was borderline cringe and I predicted that Sonic the Hedgehog 2 could go in either one direction or another that being;

Be plot oriantated. go harder and follow the sequel mentality like How to train your dragon or Kung fu panda.

OR

Be completely dumb and create more sequels that make us question giving it popularity like the ice age sequels/ minion sequels [just die already]

So what was STH2?

...It was both.

The utter whiplash and inconsisinsty of this movie where it went up and down to sheer awful to completely awesome then back down to awful then really fucking awesome-. It was like a rollercoaster.

My only thought is that the writers could've pushed the boundres of the writing but purposfully brought down the plot because of the mentality that only kids watch this.

[The scenes I hated to most, I heard most kids laugh at and enjoyed so I realise thats an age thing for me not a bad critic for a movie]

But you can push the boundries of a story and give lore because we love lore! and stimulation, why do you think everyone loves Arcane? Avatar- why are people watching Kung fu Panda over and over on netflix a dumb movie but doesn't treat it's audience like it's stupid?

[As a 90's kid i was raised on Secret of nihm, disney classics fenrgully etc and even as a kid myself I loved Coraline and Paranorm stories with kids but wasn't patronising]

The only scene I hated was the dance off- that was...painful.

As a whole i would just remove that scene and put in tails talking about his past instead the rest of the movie I wouldn't change a thing.

But the rivarly between Sonic and Knuckles was so well written and so well done-

Also yeah my critic for the end [and other critics by fans before the movie came out was excited by the teaser because heck yeah Knuckles is a badass and not DUMB] that yeah he came across like drax, someone who doesn't understand metaphors earth idioms or sarcasm etc.

BUT Knuckles makes sense for this- he is a naive Echinda, unlike Tails who stalked Sonic and knows everything about earth [also being advanced in technology] because of Sonic.

And Sonic being on Earth as a young kid grew up in that enviorment.

Knuckles entire character was accurate [also when he said he would have revenge on the fox later was hilarious I wish he had more lines like that] I always despised new media that protrays Knuckles as stupid and they keep making him dumber [sonic boom]

So The movie fixed some issues that being Naive and being dumb is too seperate things. There were moments when Knuckles would stop and question things outloud, when he knew nothing about earth slang etc made sense since he wasn't from earth and if Tails and Sonic were from mobias and just appeared there like he did they would ALL be the same. It makes knuckles more equel and comes across as being more behind than anything else.

One issue was the beggining [spoilers] when Eggman used Sonics quil for a beacon and a ring opened up and who walked out? Echidnas? Owls?

No. Humans DRESSED UP as Owls...I what?

Then Knuckles was there behind them coming out the ring- the same ring they came out from!? So these Owl people were just glossed over-

Either they ran out of budget or- some context was missing.

I would change the scene by either MAKING them actually owls like long claw OR Keep them as humans who were allies of the OWLs which was why the master Emerald was on Earth in the first place. because some humans allied themselves with the Owls.

So seeing Eggman defeat them and Knuckles coming out [to fight his enemies] and see this guy defeat the people dressed as owls Knuckles would assume that Eggman could be a poterntial ally. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Then being suspicious of the blue quill and ask about it, Eggman says "I got this from a blue menance who trapped me here." It would prove to Knuckles that Sonic is evil and Eggman is some victim of his causing an alliance between the two.

Another was the dance off scene I...hated it- it felt like a copy paste of the bar scene in the first movie I would remove this scene enterially BUT I can't help but feel as if maybe this scene was so intentially cringy and painful to watch because immedietly had a bonding moment with Tails and Sonic, I wonder if it was supposed to put the audience in a more acceptable headspace so when Tails and Sonic had a moment it felt more wholesome and sweet instead of being out of place and awkward.

The friendship between Tails and Sonic was also well done- also another thing I love about the movie was the references for the games- the temple for the emerald location reminded me of the temples from Unleashed, Sonics skateboarding like Sonic adventures and Sonic riders, the Three characters together of Knuckles,tails and sonic of Sonic hereos.

Oh and when Eggman said he would turn everyone in the galaxy into robots? A call out for the first game as most robots had creatures inside BUT also Sonic Underground references!

I was always confused why Knuckles was there in recent games as he didn't contribue much- in Sonic heroes it defiently felt more one-sided as Sonic was always 'strong and fast' while Tails could fly but Knuckles was strong, since Sonic was also strong it didn't make sense.

The movie had the PERFECT balance, that Knuckles was stronger than Sonic and the only reason Sonic was able to keep up was because of his speed and fast thinking, the three of them were the perfect team and seeing them work together was so great.

But other than that, the beggining was a bit meh- the best parts was Knuckles and Eggman, and it felt as if the cast was acting...down to match Jim carrey or because it was a kids film they were overacting.

Also the line.

"Sir, Eggman has a hostage who is Local PD and sir, I'm not saying he's dumb but if he's Local PD then this town is screwed." She SAID this to the guy in charge. The same man who thought it was okay to have an agent undercover to the point of a freakin marriage! This guy is in charge of the GOVErment, if the town is screwed then by your standards ma'm, the country is fucked.

Also- Racheal? Racheal.

Fixed the movie.

She- I can't, riding the golf cart with the song oh barracuda and stepping out was so hardcore and went so overboard and the slow neck slicing gesture Racheal was too cool for this movie. She brought it back up again, the temple of Sonic fighting Knuckles was a fantastic fight scene and I could watch it over and over again and the wholesome moment on the beach and the climax?

The beggining was a bit all over the place [Also tails being a confirmed stalker bit of a yikes?]

Also what about their homeland? The enchidnas are extinct now? So what a big raging battle and no one cares- also how can Tails NOT know what happened or the history of this great battle? it what the heck- and Knuckles doesn't want to go home neither does tails? Like they don't have a family?

I kinda feel bummed that Eggman using the chaos emerald and there were no other mentions of the echidnas.

[Althought the animation was so cool what the heck? Now I feel bummed because I really wish sonic was animated instead TT^TT}

anyway, it would've been better if the reason Knuckles wanted it back was that the Owls were the bad guys. They stole it for their power and knuckles wanted to back as it belonged to his people.

With Long claw having a whole mother gothel situation and would've been better to have sonics world shatter before his eyes. Also I assumed the enchidnas were trying to SAVE sonic in the first movie and weren't trying to attack him but Knuckles and the other Echidnas mission changed from Rescue- to Detain. They don't know if Sonic who is older was groomed and lied to think the echidnas were the enemy.

[I always figured Long Claw kidnapped Sonic but oh well at least w have fanfiction]

What if the Emerald had a guardian, and that guardian lived inside the emerald. So even though Eggman was winning- and had no way of beating him it was all hopless BUT the emerald wasn't used to its full potential. because something was withholding the power.

Tikal.

Tikal left openings for the heroes. Once freed, with Knuckles holding the emerald he hears her voice in ther head, the others do too as she communicates with them on how to use the emerald.

She talks to Sonic helping him bond with all the emeralds [becoming super sonic] Once the fight is over does Tikal appear, a green faded form as she talks to Knuckles and is able to move on and pass on the right of guardianship to knuckles.

Since eggmans 'gone' and none of the humans can use the emerald and only sonic can use it [and he is now seen as a trustworthy ally] Knuckles decides its best to keep the emerald on earth as the new guardian as taking it back to his home world would only the repeat the devistation of what had come to pass.

Either way the lack of lore [terrible budjet] soft vanilla story at least the STH2 movie said GAY rights. And when that thing [spoiler] happened they went out of their way to show Stone was okay and that Eggman vanished so they even said we are not burying our gays so win win.

Since GUNN had JUST been created I wonder how that would change the story for new arrivals [Also I am loving the possibility of this new character but PLEASE for the love of god can we get Amy in there???]

Taking a step back and looking at it objectly I can't help but concide that this movie was the best possible outcome for the franchise and hope that the third installment will follow in it's footsteps.

Truthfully, most stories that are complex end up failing where 'safe' stories end up becomming popular some overhyped. Makes you think why bother when plot oriantated stories with so uch lore is ignored but a feel good movie that was just a reboot ends up doing well. At least this movie tried it both ways by incorportating an OPEN lore to hypothesize but also made it wacky enough to be a simple enjoyment something that ALL aduiences could enjoy be it old/new fans.

I can't help but think that maybe some characters would be written like the sonic boom counterparts as most kids would recognise those characters more than the olde classics that we know them as.

The truth is that safe stories end up getting sequels while stimulating stories get left behind. My critique isn't that Sonic is a bad movie it's not.

Just that they could've put more into it and added so many cool elements etc.

And as a writer- I could end up going to Fanfiction and re-writing the WHOLE thing and adding these elements.

As an adult, who wanted a sonic the hedghog movie since I was 15 I'm not overally disapointed- [exepct I wished that it would be animated but oh well beggars can't be choosers]

And yes this reviews [if it can be qualified for that] is all over the place because my thoughts on it are- I love the characters, the story how it progressed but I wish they just put a bit MORE into it.

Anyway can we start a hashtag for amy rose- please I'm begging I need my girl in the sequels or I'm going to effin scream.

[sparxwrites]

Yes hello!!! Tanner telling Kayden to slap himself in the face again and Kayden grinning and doing it and Tanner savoring it Is a kink I did not know I had But maybe it's just T and Matt making it so compelling *sweats* (Tanner should go over there and do it himself; I'm sure Kayden would look up at him and offer up his face with a sneer and a lick of his lips)

anonymous asked: talk to us about kayden being SO willing to slap himself for tanner that seems like a thing you’d enjoy :3

“You having fun now?” snapped Tanner, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he paced back and forth, jittery, trying to cover his nerves. This was- this was a lot. This was too much. He couldn’t admit it outloud, wouldn’t admit it outloud, but he couldn’t fucking cope with this. He was a kid, they were all just kids, and he could feel the panic trying to strangle him as the reality of their potentially-deadly situation abruptly asserted itself.

Worst of all, it was real. It was all real, and a year’s worth of denial, of hating Kayden for what he had supposedly done, had just vanished in a puff of smoke.

“Tons.” Kayden bit out the end of the word, as though he was forcing it through his teeth, his jaw tight and eyes hard.

Tanner barely contained the laugh that twisted around his lungs like a thorny vine, a black, humourless thing. The reasoning behind the hatred may have collapsed, but that didn’t mean the hatred itself had – and right now, drowning in fear-anger-panic, it was the one thing he could actually cling to. “A lot of fun?” he asked, and even he could hear the poorly-suppressed hysteria in the words, beneath the fury of them. “Everything’s just so much fun, isn’t it?”

“God, Tanner…” breathed Sat, her face still tear-streaked and horror-stricken. She looked as scooped-hollow as Tanner felt, and it made something in his chest ache – but he ignored her, eyes locked on Kayden’s.

And Kayden… Kayden, the fucker, looked him in the eye right back, and slapped himself. He growled through it, through the pain and the flushing-red of his pale skin beneath the blow, sniffing, and still staring at Tanner with that loathsome, implacable defiance.

The roiling anger in Tanner’s stomach, abruptly, solidified into cruelty.

“Harder,” he ordered, voice quiet and all the more dangerous for it. “One more time, harder, so I can see it.”

There were exclamations from the others, surprise and horror, but he tuned them out. None of that mattered right now – nothing mattered, except for his anger, and the electric tension in the air, and the way Kayden was flexing his hand in a half-heartbeat’s worth of thought. Tanner was hyper-fixated on it, and time seemed to move molasses-slow for a moment, as he held his breath.

He didn’t actually expect Kayden to slap himself again, but really, that just made the crack of Kayden’s hand against his cheek all the more sweet.

One of the girls cried out, something shocked and indignant about it not being Kayden’s fault, and Tanner could hardly contain his laughter. “There’re a lot of things that are his fault,” he said, bitterly, teeth clenched tight enough his jaw was beginning to ache. “Just give me a minute to enjoy him brought down a peg.”

He might have been be talking to the girls, but all he had eyes for was Kayden – Kayden and his stupid fucking smirk and his stupid fucking hair and the stupid fucking look in his beautiful eyes, like he was angry-excited-hollow-sad all at once. The handprint on his cheek was blooming candy-red, and god, Tanner wished it was his.

Kayden smiled, all bared teeth and insolence, and Tanner’s hands curled into fists at his sides.

“Good enough for you?” asked Kayden, lazily, eyes bright and cheek red and teeth bared, like some creature out of Tanner’s nightmares come to haunt him on Earth for his sins. “Or you wanna hit me yourself, huh, Tanner? Make sure it’s done properly, because god, I’m enough of a fuckup as is, who knows if I can even hit myself ri-”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence before Tanner punched him in the mouth.

Raina yelped in shock, and Sat lunged forward to try and get between the two of them, but Kayden- Kayden just grinned, split lip and bloody teeth and faintly manic eyes, as Tanner stared.

He felt about as surprised as Raina looked. He’d never hit anyone before, not… not like this.

And then Kayden’s nose wrinkled into a sneer, and he bared his teeth, and spat a globule of bloodied saliva right into Tanner’s face – and it suddenly didn’t matter that he’d never hit anyone before. He was more than willing to learn, right here and right now, and Kayden’s face would do as his punching bag, because fuck that smug, sneering asshole, the bastard, who does he think he is-

Everything went red-rage-black after that, for a while.

By the time Sat managed to pry Tanner off Kayden, yelling the whole while and eventually shouting for Darby to help, Kayden’s face was a mess – as were Tanner’s knuckles. It was hard to tell whose blood was whose, crimson smeared across Kayden’s lip and below his nose, and from the cut across his eyebrow where Tanner’s fist had split the thin skin over the bone. Tanner’s hands were red-streaked, too, knuckles cracked and bruised from sloppy punches, bruises already rising to mirror the ones around Kayden’s eyes.

And he was still grinning. The fucker was still grinning, even as he scrambled out from under Tanner and stumbled upright on shaky legs, wiping the trickle of blood running down over his lip.

“Feeling better, huh, Tanner? Feeling powerful?” Kayden asked, the edge of a hysterical laugh to his voice. For all his bared teeth and curled lips, though, there was an edge of fear in his eyes that hadn’t been there before – and a miserable sort of resignation that Tanner couldn’t quite understand. He wiped at his nose again with a shaking hand, staring at the red streaked across his thumb as though surprised it was still bleeding. “Like father like fucking son. Should’a fucking known. Hah. Shit.”

Tanner’s insides turned to ice, the vicious rage cooling in a heartbeat to be replaced with horror.

“I- you provoked me,” he spluttered, trying to ignore the fact he was still on his ass in the dirt, with Sat pinning his arms behind his back and digging nails into his skin. He could feel the way she was shaking, just from her grip on him, and the sick feeling in his stomach soured further with the knowledge that he’d upset her so badly. “You knew what you were doing- you deserved that, and you know it-”

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, cringed from them and the memory of how often he’d heard them – accompanied by the snap of his father’s belt, burning across his thighs. But they were out there, and there was no way to take them back.

All he could do was sag in Sat’s grip, panting as he slowly came down off the adrenaline high, and try not to look at the bruised mess of Kayden’s face, staring down at him. He didn’t want to see what he’d done.

“Spoken like a real man,” sneered Kayden, blocking the stream of blood from his nose with forefinger knuckle and thumb whilst he waited for it to clot, hissing as he nudged his nose. “Fuck.” The grin was sliding off his face, the same sharp, shocky anger-misery lurking behind his eyes beginning to tug at the corners of his mouth. “Daddy’d be so proud, Tanner. Make sure you fuckin’ tell him all about it when you get back – how you put the fuckin’ trailer trash bastard in his place, huh? Fuck you.”

He spat at Tanner’s feet, lip curled up in disgust, and stumbled over to where he’d left his backpack – slumping down on the rotting log next to it as though his knees had given way, as though he was trying very hard to hide that fact and was failing dismally. His hands were shaking, though whether from adrenaline or fear or something else entirely was anyone’s guess.

Tanner felt the grip on his arms loosen, ever so slightly.

“If I let you go,” said Sat, voice shaky and a little hoarse from yelling, “are you going to hit him again?” She sounded like she was about to start sobbing.

“…No,” mumbled Tanner, shoulders slumping, eyes on the ground. The shame was choking, now, winding around his stomach and throat, increasingly difficult to ignore. He didn’t want to hit anyone any more – didn’t want to do anything. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

The grip on his arms disappeared entirely, and he barely had time to bring them around to his front and rub at his forearms before Sat was there, glowering at him through tear-streaked makeup. He was entirely unsurprised when she slapped him, snapping his head to one side, one of her rings catching his cheek and opening a tiny, half-inch cut across his pale, freckled skin.

“Deserved that,” he said, quietly.

Sat just stared at him for a moment, jaw clenched and eyes hard. Then she nodded, once, and stalked off across the clearing to where Kayden was sat – leaving Tanner on his ass in the dirt, alone, as Raina stared at him wide-eyed. Darby made studiously sure she was looking at her journal, and only her journal.

Tanner stood up, on legs scarcely more steady than Kayden’s, and found his own log to sit on – careful to keep Darby and Raina between him and Kayden. Or rather, Kayden and Sat, since she had her arm around Kayden’s shoulder and her eyes narrowed in Tanner’s direction.

“So,” he said, quietly, heavily, wiping the drying blood off of his knuckles with the hem of his plaid shirt. It was difficult to speak through the guilt but, somehow, he managed it, voice raw enough that it almost seemed like he had been the one doing the screaming. “…What do we do now?”

[datingadviceonreddit]

** I apologize in advance if this post is too long. As I was writing it I realized it was therapeutic in a way to write it all out, so even if this thread goes no where thank you for being the public forum in which I share this with. **So, a little back story.I'm not too proud of it, but after being cheated on in a relationship I otherwise thought was very serious and committed, I turned to excessive physical intimacy as an escape and crutch to boost my self esteem. It was about a 2 and a half year period where I seriously slept with almost every close female friend I had. Then, I turned to Tinder and Instagram and was extremely active in my attempts to sleep with women.I rationalized this behavior because I never lied to women or gave them the impression I wanted monogamy or commitment. I would use my "i was cheated on boo hoo" story as a fallback for not wanting commitment. It was only when a close friend of me asked me how many people I have slept with that I realized I had a serious problem. I had lost count and couldn't even begin to track it. I felt like I hit rock bottom when I slept with my ex who cheated on my purely to spite the relationship she hastily enteredThen, suddenly and unexpectedly I experienced a death in my immediate family and it was crushing. Life was turned upside down and nothing has ever been the same. My family and I are healing together but it was so sudden and violent it's hard to ever be normal again.As a coping method, I sought more destructive seeking behavior offline and online, where any woman I saw that I thought was attractive I would chase as a sexual object with the intent to sleep with them. It got so out of control that, whenever I traveled out of the country for work, I would spend a significant period of time every night searching foreign dating apps, hook up tools, and any area where women frequented looking for a sexual partner. I think my work suffered because It was practically the only thing I put effort towards.It feels cringe-as-hell typing this, but I am an attractive man with an athletic body. In the face of all of this anxiety in my life, this became more and more important to me and I REALLY became focused on highlighting the attractive parts of me because I felt like it was the only thing about me that had any value. I started modeling on the side with the sole intent of collecting a series of super hot, image crafty pictures to fill my social media.I felt that, if my ex-girlfriend who hurt me so much saw that I was actually PROSPERING without her, I would somehow feel good about my self.Now, with reputation completely shot and almost everyone in my social circle joking about how I had turned into an absolute man whore, I felt like this was just who I had become. I knew I was using women to stroke my shattered ego, so in a burst of self awareness I doubled my gym routine with a focus on real strength and not aesthtics, focused on my career, and really bettered my self. It helped my self-esteem and I finally got to the point where I felt like I deserved another shot at a loving relationship and not just pointless sexual flings.I got a little better at loving my self.CURRENT SITUATIONAbout 10 months ago I met a woman from another country who I am I'm currently in a LDR with that I never, ever expected would happen. I met her traveling her it was just an instant connection. Not just lust or infatuation (maybe a little at first) but something that truly developed into the most warm, safe, secure and accepting relationship I've ever had in my life.I remember the first time I had to say goodbye after our very romantic and improvised extended visit, I cried because I thought I'd never see her again. I remember the feelings so vividly because I hated the thought of going back to who I was. Around her, she makes me feel like a good, loyal honest man. I care about her so much I feel inspired to become those things and live them out.I visit her as often as I can and usually stay for about 3 weeks. We talk every day and it's just an absolute dream. All of my close friends have noticed how genuinely happy I am and, for the first time in what feels like forever, I actually share pictures of us and sentiments of my affection towards her publicly on my social media. I have a "decently" large following and my career lives online, so it was a big step for me to be so open about devotion towards one woman. As many men know, when you do that, a huge section of online flirting and engaging becomes impossible. I felt really good taking these steps and feeling emotionally empowered by them.She is working on getting her Visa to visit me and she wants to eventually come move to the states with me. I am absolutely thrilled with this prospect as both of our careers would benefit from her moving here and it would just be wonderful to start a life together with her.THE PROBLEMI have started to notice that, when I get stressed, I look towards women and physical intimacy. It is a really bad habit I formed and I fear it is becoming a big problem. For example, I recently went to the doctor about an injury I got rock climbing -- after not hearing the news I wanted (it's going to be a slow,slow heal) I felt an extraordinary urge to seek out old flings, flirt with every women around me, and generally become that sexual conquest seeker I used to be.I resisted that urge but, then, work got difficult and very confusingly difficult. Again, I felt this immediate urge to seek out random women for sexual conquest and, it become so strong I took a really stupid half measure, accepted an invited to a party I would of normally NEVER attended, and got extremely drunk and high. I don't normally ever behave like this and I know deep down I was trying to give my self an excuse to lose control and try something with a woman.The shame I felt was absolutely overwhelming and I hated my self. Here I am, honestly in love with someone that cares for me in a way I've never felt before and I keep senselessly endangering our relationship. I have been in two situations with women that got WAY too close but, thank god my shame was too much and I never followed through. I am extremely relieved I have remained loyal to my LDR but I know if she knew the situations I've placed my self in she would be very disappointed and sad.Today, I truly sunk to a new low and reactivated a Tinder account and filled it with the most physically attractive photos of my self possible. As I was doing it, I seriously hated my self -- I had no idea what I was doing, why I was doing it, or what I was looking for. I just know that the floods of compliments and praise made me feel good. Literally, while all of this was going on, I was texting a friend of a friend that has routinely asked to be "Friends with benefits" with me if she wanted to get coffee together.I don't know what happened, but I felt like I just snapped. In disgust, I deleted Tinder, completely dodged the coffee meet up, and I just started to cry. I started looking at videos of my girlfriend and, again, I felt like I was going crazy. I see this woman and I'm obsessed with her, I want nothing more than to do right by her and care for her but I seem trapped in this self destructive cycle.Perhaps some men reading will relate with this part -- whenever I masturbate, afterwards I IMMEDIATELY feel extremely clear headed and absolutely disgusted with my behavior. I literally say outloud "what the fuck is wrong with me?" out of sheer frustration and exhaustion -- it is like a light switch is turned off and I am my normal self again. It is this realization of my self that has protected me from actually touching another woman -- I know immediately after I will feel this same feeling of absolute disgust with my self.Again, I am beyond relieved that I haven't PHYSICALLY or EMOTIONALLY cheated on my girlfriend, but I known my risky and stupid behavior has violated her trust and I have cheated the commitment we agreed on.Racked with guilt and shame, I had a serious talk with my LDR and tried my very hardest to express the problems I have been having. I didn't want to hurt her or give her the wrong idea, so I tried my very hardest to express all of the problems I have been having, how hard the long distance relationship has been for me lately, and how I have developed a habit of not liking my self and relying on my physical image whenever I am stressed.I haven't gotten the nerve to tell her about the online flirting relapses, the dangerous intoxicated party, or the coffee meeting I set up but never attended. I don't want too because I am afraid she won't believe that, despite me doing those things, I truly, deeply, and in my heart of hearts want her and nothing else. I myself don't fully understand my I seek these self destructive habits so I'm terrified of trying to explain them to her.I have scheduled an impromptu visit to see her and I will be flying out in a week. I told her that being apart for so long has just been too difficult (it has been 3 months since I last saw her in person) and I am hoping that seeing her in person will, at my core, remind me how lucky I am reaffirm my strong desire to be a loyal, honest, committed man.Upon writing this and reading over it, I am ashamed at my actions and I feel like a horrible man. A part of me expects to be ridiculed as the unappreciative, narcissistic, weak person that all of my vices paint me as. But, hopefully, you will also see this as an earnest cry for help from someone who so badly wants to do the right thing.I am not ready or willing to give up on my LDR or her. I want to become a man worthy of her heart.Thank you for reading if you got this far. Do you have any advice for me?TL;DR-- I've developed a habit of sleeping around after great personal tragedy. Now that I am in love in a LDR, I am constantly tempted to be unfaithful whenever I am stressed or feel bad about my self. via /r/dating_advice