#job hunting is hell

[fullbattleregalia]

Retail Jobs I’ve Applied to:

You need to have AT LEAST three years of prior experience in this exact field for this entry level position. The last thing we want to do is spend more than five minutes training you. Why have you worked such a wide variety of jobs? Where’s your commitment? You better have amazing references. Oh, and complete these online tests to prove to us that you are worthy of us possibly glancing at your resume before we throw it straight in the trash. You better be available every hour of every day - anything less means you’re not truly committed to this job. Remember, people like you are a dime-a-dozen and easily replaceable, and you should be grateful that we’re paying you slightly more than minimum wage. You’d better not be expecting any benefits.

The Investment Company I Applied to:

Oh, you’ve got a bachelor’s degree? That’s excellent. Not in business? That’s fine - getting a degree at all shows that you’re willing to put in the work and learn. No prior experience specifically in this field? No worries - we’ll train you. This is a Monday to Friday position. Obviously, we’ll be paying you a living wage for this entry level position, and you need to use your PTO days, because they only partially rollover to the next year. What sort of year end bonus are you expecting? Let us tell you a little bit about our standard benefits. …are you okay? Why are you crying?

[salty-rey]

why oh why did I not take those resume workshops on campus????

[roxydemi]

I’m ready to use tumblr as a networking app at this point SOMEONE FIND ME A JOB

[robo-writing]

I CAN FINALLY WRITE AGAIN

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

So I know everybody says you should lie at job interviews (well not you should lie but just a lot of people do to get the job)

I’ve…not been lying. I’ve been telling the truth and being myself..

is that what I’m doing wrong?? Is that why I’m not getting jobs??

[dragonflylady77]

This woman from the recruitment agency wanted me to explain the gaps in my resume ON the actual resume...

Like, I had kids and we made do on one income then I separated from the father of my kids and was on the benefit then was in a new relationship and she was studying and it was enough then I was studying...

No one ever wants to hire me anyway so...

i can't get over how evil it is that "gap in your resume" is considered a valid reason to not hire someone like "hmmm sorry you weren't working constantly every day of your life we need people who do nothing but work until they drop dead for us we just don't think you're right for the job" fuck youuuu

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin

[child-star]

I love when interviewers complain about people 'not wanting to work anymore' when I'm like... Hey, please give me a job. I really want to work.

[chibistarlyte]

bruh i was looking at jobs and there was this one human resources job that was like "required: five years experience in related field, college degree in human resource management, etc." and the salary was $50k like fuck right off with that

[edgesalad]

Airpods cases on etsy got me wanting to buy a pair for myself just so I can express my fandom love... but then I remember how I've lost all of my dollarama airpods dupes in the past few years.

[ziskandra]

just got a verbal offer!! !!!

god i really hope i get a job offer this week

[royaltea000]

Evolution

Some earlier concept sketches I loved but ultimately couldn’t do cuz there was just so much of it

[forestgreenlesbian]

my only skill is going on short walks and letting the beauty of the scenery i have at this point seen a hundred times over change my life a little again and again. but who’s going to employ me based on that

[greenticklerdreams]

So many tasks would be easier if I had a lee on hand to tell me I'm not allowed to tickle them until I Do the Thing

[technofeudalism]

there's an ever-growing list of things that will make me click out of a job application. all of these things are applicable depending upon my mood:

requiring a login

requiring a cover letter

requiring my full address

requiring my age

requiring pretty much any personal information beyond my name/number/e-mail

requiring me to answer questions about my "personality"

requiring me to answer behavioral interview questions in the application itself

requiring references

requiring a drug test of any kind for an e-mail job

listing the job as Remote and then sneaking in a 1, 2, 3, etc. day requirement at the very bottom

not listing the salary

listing the salary in a ridiculously broad range (40k-95k???)

anything prioritizing AI usage where it doesn't belong

requiring me to enter my work experience in addition to my resume

requiring me to enter a list of arbitrary "skills" that are already on my resume

requiring me to complete additional questions via e-mail

requiring me to complete a puzzle or project

requiring me to do a presentation during the interview process

requiring me to work a schedule 5> days per week, regardless of the hours

using language that implies up front that working extra hours or putting in extreme effort is a regular expectation

using language that implies i will have no guidance and will have to be totally self-sufficient from day 1

there's probably more. i realize this makes it exponetially more difficult to find a job. i am fine with that. maybe i won't be in a few months but for now, i'd rather starve than spend my time on this shit just for a job that is probably going to discard me like rotten meat in a few years anyway.

[fatedroses]

Sometimes a light party is a machinist loporrit, a rogue moogle chef, an ex-assassin healer, and the former prince of Garlemald.