#jk lol but seriously. stop

[actionkitty]

if my cat wakes me up 30 minutes before my alarm again tomorrow im sending her to boarding school

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Who Is My Heart Waiting For? | Jeon Jungkook | One Shot

Summary: Getting closer to one of the staff members on tour didn’t seem like such a bad idea…that is until Jungkook realizes that his feelings for her are more than just platonic. Pairing: Staff f!reader x Rockstar!Jungkook (pov) Word Count: 14k~ (I've legit been working on this since July lol) Warnings: Explicit language but that's it a/n: I made this with Jimin in mind (since it's his song) but no one was really vibing with it (unfortunately) so I figured I'd change it to Jungkook. I hope you guys like it! Inspired by Who by Jimin (Rock Remix)

"Ayo JK!" our keys player Tyler calls out as we all stumble through the green room doors, throughly exhausted after playing our third encore of the night. "Did you see the way that little hottie in the front row was looking at you?" he says, his description of whatever girl he's talking about incredibly vague.

"You'll have to be a little more specific Ty, there were plenty of hotties in the front row" I throw back, rolling my eyes and opening the water bottle one of the staff gave me. "The little blondie in the red dress?" he offers, his description yet still vague helps me sort through the girls that had been screaming our names throughout the show.

"She was practically drooling" he continues poking fun at her and I can't help but want to shift the attention away from her. "I mean I would too if I were her" I say, throwing out a cocky comment like I always do. It's no secret that I know I'm hot and after that concert high it takes a second for me to come back down to earth.

"You're the front man for a reason I guess" our drummer Zach says, sticks still in hand, tapping on whatever surface he can reach. "Don't give him a bigger head than he already has Z" Asher our lead guitarist says, rounding out the rest of our band with Leo our bassist chiming in soon after.

"Gotta give the man some credit though. I think I saw a girl pass out after he made eye contact with her" he teases, leaving Zach clapping me on the back making me stumble from the sheer force of it.

Leo chuckles when he sees the glare I send Zack's way but it's gone when he slumps down on the couch next to him. "Thanks" I grumble while rolling my shoulder, him being the one chuckling now, the intensity he had been using while banging on those drums still in full effect.

"Anyways" Tyler says, bringing the conversation back to where it had started "I bet she's still out there...waiting for you...hoping she'll be your girl for the night" he taunts winking to add fire to flame my protest against the idea.

"You know I don't do that anymore" I mumble, walking over to grab my phone and seeing that Sage is still blowing it up. "Why don't you just block her? She's obviously psycho if she thinks that you're still gonna go back to her after all the shit she put you through" he says, bringing up past memories from my last relationship that I would really rather forget.

"Ty stop" Leo warns, coming to my defense when he sees how tense I've gotten from the way he's been bad mouthing my ex. "Why? We all know she deserves it" he presses, leaving me balling my hands into fists, seriously considering shutting him up but when I turn around Ash's hand is already clamping down on my wrist.

"Just let it go" he mumbles, leaving me relaxing my hands knowing that he's right but I'm still ticked off.

"I need some air" I huff, pulling my wrist out of his grasp and shoving the back door open, leading to the fenced off parking lot behind the venue, a convenient place where I can breathe in the cool night air. 

It's become a routine I'm accustom to whenever Tyler gets on my nerves at this point and after clearing my head for what feels like mere moments I hear footsteps making their way over to me.

"I don't wanna hear it Ash, I'm fine" I sigh, my back resting against the side of the building, head hanging low, focused on the rocks I'm toying with.

"I'm not Ash" the voice says and my head pops up, watching as the familiar form gets closer. "And I didn't come here to lecture you" she says, mirroring my posture and leaning up against the wall beside me.

"Hey Strings" I mumble the name I gave y/n, one of our newish staff members. "You probably heard all that huh?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders. "Not all of it but I'm pretty sure I got the gist of it" she admits, shoving her hands in her hoodie to shield them from the cool breeze that's blown our way.

"You should head back inside. I don't want you to catch a cold" I nod towards the door and she scoffs. "I should be the one saying that to you Mr. Lead Singer. Last time I checked we still have a couple more shows left" she scolds and I chuckle under my breath, shaking my head.

"What happened to not lecturing me?" I raise a brow at her and she crosses her arms, biting her tongue and going back to keeping her promise.

"As long as you're out here, I'm out here" she argues and I mirror her posture.

"Don't come crying to me when you feel like shit in the morning" I say and she scoffs in response "Then you better not come crying to me either" she says and I smile, knowing that she'll be at my mercy if I need her.

"That's your job though isn't it Princess?" I say, my voice dropping and I relish in the reaction she gives me. Her eyes widen a bit but if you blinked you would've missed it and she turns her head to hide the fact that my words effected her.

"Don't call me that" she mumbles and I laugh, bumping my shoulder against her's, "You know I was just teasing you y/n" I say and she shakes her head. "Don't call me that either" she protests and I can't help but want to keep toying with her.

"Why not? That's your name isn't it?" I say, poking her in the side, making her jump and whack my arm without hesitation. "It's Strings, anything else sounds weird coming out of your mouth" she says and I smile.

"I thought you hated that name" I chuckle and she sighs, "It's...grown on me" she mumbles and I hum, content that it seems we've gotten closer.

"Seems like you've gotten a lot better at restringing our guitars though so I might have to come up with a new nickname for you. Perhaps Sticks" I say, tapping my chin and remembering how she dropped a box of Zack's backup drum sticks the other day.

"Strings is just fine since it might as well be carved into my skin from all the times they broke on me" she says in reference to the many many times she had messed up when she started working with us on our last tour.

"I'll never forget the day we met" I say and she cringes, "One hell of a first impression huh?" she scoffs, still embarrassed to this day.

"Well when your first impression of your new crew member is a shy 'Hello' and the next second their thumb is getting sliced open by a rouge guitar string then yeah I guess you could say that's one way to be remembered" I chuckle and she slides down the wall, resting on her heels and curling up into a ball.

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad" I say, crouching down next to her but she shakes her head, "I'm never gonna live that one down huh?" she groans. "Probably not, but it was a great ice breaker...or I guess skin slicer" I say, trying to make a joke out of it but it doesn't go over well when she groans again and refuses to say anything else.

"You're lucky I was able to take you to the hospital since everyone else was busy" I say, my teasing nature with her relentless as always. "I wouldn't call it lucky since I had to listen to your whiney singing the whole way there" she retorts and I gasp, feigning offense but this is the same song and dance we have every time this memory is brought up.

"People would pay to hear this whiney voice sing. Oh right...they do" I retort and she huffs, standing up to lean against the wall again and I follow her in suit.

"You alright though?" she asks and I breathe out, trying to figure out how to keep my temper in check. "I swear that man is more interested in getting me laid than he is in himself" I say and she chuckles, listening wordlessly and waiting for me to get it all off my chest.

"I don't understand why he's so obsessed with the fact that I'm not sleeping around. Sage and I broke up right before we went on tour and all he's been doing is trying to pawn me off to whatever girl he's noticed has got her eye on me. If he doesn't have a girl on his arm yet then he's concerned about getting one under mine" I ramble and she nods along.

"He claims it's gonna help me blow off some steam but the only time I feel the need to do that is when he's ticking me off again" I finish, trying to slow my breathing so I don't get myself too worked up again.

"He's just trying to look out for you but I will admit he's probably not going about it in the healthiest way...but he means well" she tries to remind me and I know she's right, but something about the way he goes about it just rubs me the wrong way. 

"Yeah I know" I mumble running a hand through my hair in an effort to brush off the emotions this whole ordeal is bringing me.

"You wanna get out of here?" she asks making me chuckle. "That's my line" a wicked grin spreading across my lips making her push off the wall and walk away. "Suit yourself" she says, brushing off my teasing as me declining her invitation. 

"Hey wait up! I didn't say no" I protest jogging over to her and draping my arm around her shoulders, leaning on her so she stumbles and tries to push me off.

"You're pushing your luck here" she says but I wrap my other arm around her as well and follow her to the car that's parked next to the tour bus. "Liz gave you the keys?" I ask, surprised that our manager is letting her take the car for a spin.

"Not in so many words. She told me to look after you so I figured I would need a car to do that properly" she relays and when I walk over to the drivers side first and hold out my hand she tosses me the keys.

"If she tries to chew your ass out about it just tell her it was my idea" I say and she rolls her eyes before we both sink down into our seats. "Can't have my favorite staff member getting fired now can I?" I say and she sighs. "Don't let Liz hear you saying that or I'll really get fired" she warns and I turn the key in the ignition to start the car.

"Everyone knows you're my favorite, Strings" I say and she crosses her arms over her chest and slumps down into the seat. I take that as a good reaction since she usually gets shy when I say stuff like this but I'll have mercy on her this time and just enjoy our night together.

"So what's the plan?" I ask, putting the car in reverse before heading to the exit and out onto the street. "Turn left" she says and I smile, "So it's a surprise huh?" I say and she rolls her eyes. "It's more of you don't need to know until we get there, plus it's not anything crazy so don't get your hopes up" so I do as she says and follow her directions that take us to a diner on the other side of town.

"How did you know where this was without looking it up?" I ask, getting out of the car and walking with her to the entrance. "I have my ways" she says and picks up the pace, leaving me walking behind her and watching her make it there before me. 

She's a peculiar one I'll give her that.

"Come on loser let's go! I'm hungry" she calls out and I scoff and jog over to her. "Hungry? From what?" I say and she glares, looking me up and down. "From taking care of you guys all day. What else?". 

I know she works hard but it's fun to tease her like this.

"Sitting back and relaxing while admiring me" I say and she rolls her eyes, so much so that I would be concerned that they would get stuck at the back of her head if she tried to do it again. 

"More like running ramped and being at all of your beck and call. Do you know how difficult it is to take care of five man childs and one very strict overlord?" she scoffs, the last part in reference to our manager.

"Man child?" I say crossing my arms and she nods her head without hesitation. "You sure there's five of them? And all this time thought we were friends" I pout but she doesn't give in.

"What would you call what we're doing right now?" she asks, sitting down at the booth that the waitress leads us to. "A date?" I say with a smirk on my face and she shakes her head and starts looking through the menu.

"More like feeding a whiney hangry baby who needs my help to survive" she say and now I'm the one rolling my eyes. "I swear, your favorite insult is getting a little bit tired isn't it?" I say and she smirks. 

"Well what would you call that thing that you do when you're singing then?" she asks "A cry or sometimes a growl depending on the song" I tease, throwing an arm around the back of the booth leaving her sliding away from me to create some distance but I slide towards her to keep her close against her best efforts.

"Why do you always feel the need to be so close to me?" she grumbles, accepting defeat once we're almost all the way at the other end of the booth with one good scoot, had she taken it leaving her falling on her ass.

"Because I like being close to you. Plus you're always mumbling whenever we're in public places so this is the only way I can hear you" I reply while making excuses and she scoffs, muttering something inaudible under her breath.

"See I couldn't even guess what you could've possibly said" I say to prove my point. "Because it wasn't for your ears dumbass. Now figure out what you're gonna eat before I let you starve" she says, shoving a menu towards me.

I chuckle and flip through it and eventually we're giving the waitress our orders leaving me turning to face Strings once she's gone.

"Why do you always treat me like a nuisance when we're out in public?" I question and she takes a very long sip of her water to avoid answering right away. "Because you are" she answers and pulls her phone out to check a message that just came in and when I see the name 'Alex' pop up on her screen I get a little disheartened for some weird reason.

When she unlocks her phone I catch a quick glimpse of their conversation and it's full of messages planning for them to meet up. "Who's Alex?" I ask and she locks her phone immediately.

"A friend, not that it's any of your business" she replies curtly and her pointed answer kicks me in the gut. "What kind of friend?" I ask, trying to get more information before making assumptions but she gives me nothing.

"Just a friend alright?" she says and takes another drink of water making me let out a sigh, scooting back and giving both of us some air to breathe. She takes it as a chance to respond to the messages and when more come in I catch a hint of a smile and I scoff.

"What?" she asks, clearly confused with my reaction. "Seems like they're a lot more than just a friend from the way you're smiling at their replies" I nod towards her phone and she locks the screen again and places it in her bag.

"Fine, happy?" she says, showing that she'll give me her full attention now in hopes to change the subject and before I have a chance to try the waitress comes back with our food. "Did you two lovebirds need anything else?" the middle aged woman teases, trying to lighten the mood since she can clearly sense the hostility between the two of us.

"Oh we're not toge-" "Could we actually get some hot sauce? My girl loves her food extra spicy" I say, cutting off her denial of our suspected relationship. "Of course" the woman says and takes a bottle from another table and places it right next to Strings. "Just give me a shout if you need anything else" she says and I thank her before she heads off to help another table.

"I don't like hot sauce" Strings says, pushing the bottle away from her and I chuckle, "Yeah I know, but I do" I say and add a few drops on my burger. "You're so weird" she says before popping a fry in her mouth. "At least I don't eat like a child" I retort and she glares at me.

"Chicken strips and fries are the safest option okay? They're hard to fuck up. Unlike the monstrosity of a burger you got. Can you even fit that thing in your mouth?" she asks, watching as I pick it up and smush it down, trying to make it a little easier on myself.

"Only one way to find out" I say, opening wide and doing my best to take a bite but half the topping spill out the other side and she chokes on the water she had been sipping, finding my struggle hilarious. "Yeah yeah laugh it up" I say, rolling my eyes at her and grabbing some napkins for the both of us.

After we both clean up to a certain extent she looks between me and the burger, "You know famous people are supposed to keep up some sort of an image right?" she teases. "Don't remind me" I groan and rest my head against the wall behind us.

"Come here" she says a few seconds later and I look at her questioningly but sit up nonetheless and when I get close enough she grabs my chin and looks at my lips. "What are you do-" I start off but the next second she's placing a damp napkin on the side of my mouth to wipe off whatever sauce that was clearly still on my face.

"Now hurry up and finish eating. Liz will kill me if I'm the one that's keeping you out too late this time, plus I told her I'd bring something back for the rest of the guys too" she informs, tossing the napkin to the side as if that didn't just happen.

I clear my throat and sit back again, eating a fry or two, thankful that my hair is a little longer now otherwise she would've see how red my ears had gotten from something as simple as that.

I stay pretty silent through out the rest of the meal, nodding and humming when a verbal response is somewhat needed since I'm trying to limit the need for me to talk to her after she threw me off like that. Constantly keeping food in my mouth as an excuse to hide my flustered state.

"You're gonna choke if you don't slow down" she says and an image comes to my mind that I would rather not admit leaving me fulfilling her warning and choking on the rest of the burger I had in my mouth.

"I swear it's like you need me to take care of everything at this point" she teases, rolling her eyes at me and giving me the rest of her water so I can clear my throat after half of that bite got lodged in my windpipe.

After getting it all down and being able to breathe again I thank her sheepishly, thoroughly embarrassed with the scene I just caused but luckily the eyes that were watching us were little to none. Our only audience being some men who clearly just got off their overnight shifts and a few drunkards trying to sober up before going home.

"You alright?" she asks after having waved the waitress over to take our to-go order as well as bring over a couple more glasses of water. "Yeah I'm fine, it's just really good" I say, coming up with a subpar excuse and she narrows her eyes at me but takes my word for it.

"Just take smaller bites if you're gonna finish the rest of that, I can't have you throwing up when we get back to the hotel" she warns and I nod my head before taking another bite and making sure to do as she says this time.

"I'm glad you like the food though, I've been here a few times but I've always just ordered the same thing so I was scared that you wouldn't like it. Plus it was the only place around here that was still open so there wasn't really any other option" she admits and when I'm about to ask her why she knows about this place the waitress comes back with the order.

"That was fast" I say and she thanks the waitress before responding to me. "I placed the order a while ago so they were almost done with it and just waiting to box it all up" she says and I nod.

"You know you're really good at this stuff" I compliment and she looks over at me, clearly confused. "Ordering food? It's a pretty simple skill I would think" she says after standing up and grabbing one of the bags but when she tries to grab another I'm quick to carry the rest.

"Well yeah, but like planning things out so that everything is there on time and having back up for everything no matter if it's something like equipment or even a wardrobe change if the guys are being more careless than usual" I say and she nods her head, now understanding a bit more but she just shrugs.

"It's kinda my job to be good at that stuff otherwise I would've gotten fired a long time ago" she says and I shake my head and thank her as she holds the door open for me since I'm the one with my hands completely full otherwise I would argue for it to be the other way around, even though she hates when I do stuff like that.

"I'm here to take care of you and your needs so I'm pretty sure I'll survive if I open the door for you" she would argue but I always win no matter what she says. Although we've come to a compromise with me graciously allowing her to open the car door for herself but even that was a struggle.

"Strings I know you're all independent or whatever but that doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman" I would say when she first started working for us but she would be so against it no matter what.

"Just go live your rockstar life and let me fade into the background alright? I don't need anyone staring at us because you're the one taking care of me" she argues back and although she's right I'm not the kind of guy to let this all go to my head.

Have we had some mishaps because people have seen the two of us alone together? Yes, but that's not something I was ever worried about. 

Well maybe not until tonight...

"Do you know where we're going?" she asks me, referring to the hotel we're staying at but I honestly have no clue so I toss her the keys and get in the passenger seat this time and throughout the whole drive I can't help but steal glances at her.

"What's wrong?" she asks when we hit a red light and I'm shocked that she caught me. 

So much for being sneaky about it. 

"Nothing. Why?" I ask, playing the fool but she doesn't fall for it. "Am I the one with something on my face now?" she chuckles and starts driving again when the light turns green, the roads almost empty making the red lights only last a second.

"No" I say and look out my window so I'm completely turned away from her. "Then why do you keep looking at me?" she asks and when I try to come up with something I luckily find a questions that's been bugging me all night.

"How come you know your way around town already? I mean we haven't had to pull up directions or anything. It's as if you somehow memorized the whole city" I say and she chuckles. "Maybe I did" she teases but I don't believe it for a second. "That's a bit of a stretch even for you Strings" I chuckle and she scoffs at me.

"I thought you said I was good at my job?" she counters but I can't hold my laugh back. "I think I've known you long enough to know that navigation isn't your strong suit" I tease and she shakes her head.

"Remind me to never take you out again" she grumbles and I coo at her. "Aw come on, I'm only joking. You can't just leave me alone to fend for myself with those guys" and she turns into the parking lot and turns off the car once she's parked it around the back next to our bus.

"Aren't you supposed to like your bandmates?" she asks, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the back door to grab some of the food while I do the same with the rest of it. "Of course I like them, but not as much as I like you" I tease and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Sweet talking will get you nowhere Jeon" she says, using my last name to create some playful distance between us. "Aw come on Strings don't call me that...unless you want me to start calling you y/n again?" I taunt and she shakes her head.

"Do and die" she warns and opens the door to the suite a few of the guys are sharing which happens to be where everyone is waiting for us with baited breath from the looks on the guy's faces.

"Where have you guys been? We thought you had left us here to starve" Leo whines, playing it up as if they hadn't already ate the food Strings ordered for them after the show.

"Didn't you guys eat like five pizzas already?" y/n asks placing the food down on the table and stepping back real quick, learning from past experience how they like to pounce whenever there's food around.

"We did but we're growing boys" Tyler says, his face already stuffed with a huge bite of his burger. "You're twenty six" y/n argues and he furrows his brow, "So? I grew five inches the last time I checked my height" he says after swallowing his way too big of bite and drinking one of the sodas that came with their meals.

"That's because the last time you measured yourself before then was when you were sixteen" Zack teases and Ty throws a napkin at him but the smile is wiped off his face once he sees the glare Asher gave him, daring him to throw something again. "Whatever" Tyler mumbles and focuses on eating his food while the rest of the guys pick up the conversation.

"Aren't you guys gonna eat too?" Ash asks but when y/n tries to respond I jump in and hook an arm around her shoulders. "She took me out on a date so we took our sweet time eating together" I say pulling her closer to me when she tries to get away.

"No, I had us eat there since you guys had already devoured all the food I had brought after the show and I was starving and couldn't wait to eat until we came back" she argues while trying to push me and wriggle out of my hold leaving me eventually loosening my grip when she pinches my side.

"Enough, no fighting with the talent. If you wanna fight someone you can fight Zack" Liz scolds while coming out of no where and picking up one of the drinks, absorbed in her phone no doubt checking in with the venue for the next stop on our tour.

"You're only saying that because you know I can't take him huh?" y/n points out and Liz hums in response, grabbing the bag out of my hand that y/n had set aside for her leaving Zack teasing y/n trying to convince her to arm wrestle him or something like that but I leave them behind, opting to follow Liz to see if she knows anything about this 'Alex' character.

"Haven't heard of 'em but from what you've told me it's probably some guy she likes" she offers before taking a bite out of her burger. Looks like all of us were craving burgers tonight but I can't help but notice how unsettled my stomach has been ever since I saw those texts.

"They talked about meeting up though so I'm a little bit confused about that since she's still working for the next few days right?" I ask, having taken note that her days off are usually Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

"She asked to switch her days to tomorrow and Monday. Now that you mention it though she had talked about bringing a friend to the show. I guess you'll figure out who this mysterious Alex is then. Or you could always, ya know, ask her" she says nodding towards where Zack has somehow convinced Tyler to arm wrestle him instead while y/n is on her phone again, trying so hard to ignore them but losing the battle and peering over ever once in a while.

I can't help but shake this weird feeling again and it's driving me nuts. What it could be I have no clue but I decide to just push it aside and head to bed for the night, hoping I can somehow sleep it off.

"I'm heading to bed" I announce to no one in particular but y/n jumps at the chance to follow, her being just as eager to get away from the madness as I am. "Take me with you" she begs and I chuckle and nod, both of us looking over at Liz for approval. "Yeah you're done for the night" she says, waving her off and y/n visibly slumps in relief.

"Just try to keep your phone near you tomorrow. I'll try not to need you bu-" "I'll be there if you need me. Thanks for switching things up for me" y/n says cutting Liz off and she sighs. 

"The fact that you're leaving me with this miserable lot on a show night is inconvenient but you've been working hard so go enjoy your time. We'll still see you at the show though right?" she confirms what we had talked about before and y/n nods.

"I'll put your name down for two tickets at the front" she says leaving y/n thanking her again before the two of us leave, throwing a goodnight over our shoulders on our way out.

"So two tickets huh? You bringing Alex?" I ask, addressing the elephant in the room and she hums, not giving me much to work with so I nod as we make the trek back to our rooms which happen to be right across from each other this time around.

"Are we okay?" I ask, hating the air that's settled between us making her look at me, utterly confused as to why I'm asking this. "Yeah...why wouldn't we be?" and I let out a sigh of relief yet I still don't fully believe her.

"I don't know. I feel like it got a little awkward between us back at the diner so I just wanted to double check" this is weird, I've never cared about stuff like this before. I usually just let the misunderstanding stew until things boil over or we eventually stop caring about it.

But not with her...I need to make sure that everything's alright.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow night yeah?" she asks, cutting the night short as we stop in front of our rooms while she fishes her room key out of her tote bag. I don't want to leave things like this between us. I want to spend more time with her, just to make sure that things really are okay.

"Do you-" I start off, making her turn to face me since she had already turned away to open her door. "Do you think you could introduce me to this Alex guy? Wanna make sure he's alright, you know? Can't have my girl hanging out with a loser now can I?" I tease and she smiles a little wider than I was expecting which somehow confuses me even more.

"I'll introduce you after the show" she agrees and I'm shocked that there's no push back about it. From the way she was responding to me earlier you would think that she wouldn't want to bring him anywhere near me. 

"I'll be the one in the spotlight" I smile and she rolls her eyes, 

"Goodnight Jungkook" she says and disappears into her room before I get a chance to reciprocate her sentiments.

"Goodnight y/n" I mumble, staring at the place she once stood before turning around and getting my key card out to open my room.

"Well that was pathetic" I hear Asher say as he makes his way down the hallway. Did I mention that we're sharing a suite...per usual? "Fuck off Ash" I grumble, opening the door and considering locking it behind me but I don't want y/n to hear us bicker.

"What? I'm just sayin" he holds his hands up in surrender but he's quick to back down since he knows how touchy I can get sometimes, especially after what Tyler pulled earlier tonight. "Yeah well don't" I say, walking through the common room and into mine.

"So who's Alex?" he asks, pushing a bit but I know he's just trying to talk me through all of this since I clearly need to. "Strings says he's a friend or something. She's bringing him to the show tomorrow night but that's all I really know" I say, taking off the rings and the rest of the jewelry I'm still wearing before kicking off my boots and getting a bit more comfortable.

"I thought she said she was single?" Ash says and I come out of my room and lay down on the couch, my mood getting worse and worse as this conversation progresses.

"Yeah I thought so too but she was smiling and giggling at her phone which I've never seen her do before so it makes me wonder..." I say, trailing off as Ash sits on the arm chair next to the couch, the set up to an onlooker resembling some sort of therapy session.

"So you're not gonna tell her?" he asks, his vague question making me sit up just enough the rest on my forearms. "Tell her what?" I ask and he rolls his eyes as if the answer was so obvious. "That you like her?" he says and I sit up completely, looking at him as if he had grown two heads.

"You're joking right?" I scoff and he shrugs his shoulders. "I saw it coming from a mile away dude. I'm surprised you haven't even admitted it to yourself yet" he says, getting up and taking his jacket off, throwing it on the bed and following suit in taking his jewelry and boots off too.

"I don't like her. I mean she's a friend and I like having her around but I do not have feelings for her" I deny, making my stance clear but it takes a lot of effort to actually say that and even when I get it out it feels as though I'm lying to him. I don't like her though...right?

"Whatever you say man" he says turning his shower on and walking back out to talk until the water heats up. "But from what I saw back there" he nods towards the door, the one just on the other side being to y/n's room. "It seems like you were about ready to tell her to not bring that guy to the show tomorrow night" he finishes and I shake my head.

"I think you've been watching too many dramas dude. Y/n and I are just friends, I'm just looking out for her" I explain and I watch as he puts a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "Keep telling yourself that...but don't forget to thank me later when you realize that I'm right" he finishes and heads into the bathroom without another word.

I scoff and head into my room to take a shower as well and wash off all the sweat and smoke that are no doubt stuck to my skin and try to let the memories of everything that had happened after the show wash away. 

The words that Asher said keep echoing in my mind though and I can't shake the fact that maybe he's right, leaving me analyzing and over analyzing everything about y/n and I.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep that night.

~~~~

"Rise and shine gorgeous" I hear Ash say, turning my lights on and casually tossing a pillow at me. "Fuck off" I groan and he laughs, the same old song and dance every morning that we're on tour. To be honest though, I'd prefer that over Tyler jumping all over my bed like the hyper active knucklehead he is and I especially prefer it over Zack abandoning me and leaving it to Liz to come wake my ass up. 

My ideal wakeup call would be Strings coming to get me but the last time she did I pulled her into bed and she retaliated, kicking and punching me until I let her go. After that there were no more wakeup calls from her, and even if there were she would opt for a tactic similar to Asher. 

"What time is it?" I groan, rolling around to grab my phone but of course it's dead. "It's eleven thirty. We need to leave in thirty minutes so we can head to the venue for rehearsal" he says and I hum in response, rolling out of bed and dragging my feet until I'm dressed and ready to head out.

~~~

"Alright everybody that's a wrap" Liz calls out after we've finished up rehearsal, the staff all clapping politely before heading out, only to return a few hours later for the show. 

We stumble into the green room like we did last night, slumping on the couches and resting after a good two hour rehearsal and my voice is shot to say the least. 

"You gonna be okay tonight?" Liz asks, handing off the hot cup of tea one of the venue staff gave her. "I just need to rest my voice for a while" I say and she places a hand on my shoulder, trusting me and going to address the rest of the guys.

"You guys sounded great today so I think we're all good to go for the show tonight. Anyone got any complaints?" she asks, knowing there's always something someone's gotta say. 

"Yeah, where's y/n?" Tyler asks making my ears perk up even though I know the answer already. "She's taking the day off but she's gonna be at the show tonight" Liz says and the group sighs, making her cross her arms over her chest. 

"Is that a problem?" she cocks her brow, daring someone to say something and the brave soul this time being Leo pipes up. "Well she just usually has all the food ready for us back here when we're done with rehearsals" he says, trailing off when he realizes how stupid his little comment is.

"Food's on it's way children. I swear people would think I starve you from the way that you're all acting" she mutters and pulls out her phone when a notification pops up. "But some of us didn't eat breakfast!" Tyler whines and she holds up her hand to silence him. 

"Not my fault that you slept through it" she finishes and leaves the room when her phone rings, no doubt another person asking her the millions of questions they might have about us and the next stops on our tour.

"Did you guys see y/n before she left this morning?" Leo sighs, slumping back into the couch, this conversation getting a lot more interesting now. 

"No" I respond, needing to know more about it. "She was wearing this flowy dress with her hair and makeup done. She looked...girly" he says and Asher chuckles. "I mean she is a girl" he teases but Leo keeps going. 

"Well yeah I know, but she never dresses like that. As far as I knew her whole wardrobe consisted of converse, jeans, baggy hoodies and our band tshirts. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her wearing makeup before" he says and I roll my eyes. 

"You obviously don't pay enough attention to her" I mumble and I know I've fucked up as soon as those words left my mouth. "And you do?" Zack asks, clearly way more interested in the conversation than he was moments ago. 

"I mean yeah, cuz we're friends" I say, grabbing a water bottle off the table and chugging half of it and I watch with horror as they exchange knowing glances between each other. "Right... friends" Leo says, clearly unconvinced.

"So you guys really were on a date last night huh?" Tyler asks, clearly getting the memo as to why I've always denied his suggestions of hooking up with some of the girls from our shows. 

At least he'll give up on that mission now but he's got another one in mind without even trying to find it.  

"No, she just took me there so I could get away from your nosy ass for a while" I say to him and he scoffs as if he was offended when he knows damn well what he did.

"Makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. You guys have been getting pretty close this time around. I guess I never really thought that you would be into a girl like her" he continues and the more I come to defend her the more obvious it is to everyone how I feel about her. 

"Oh yeah? And what kind of girl is she?" I say, gearing up to tell him off since she's not here to do it herself. All of us knowing that she wouldn't accept any of our help no matter how stupid he's acting. 

I would say out of all of us the two of them are the one's who have a clearly fabricated sibling rivalry. 

Although everyone of us fights with him every once in awhile. It's never anything deep but he tends to jump at being annoying as hell at any opportunity that arises.   

"Well a little bit more on the boyish side in terms of fashion, up until I saw her this morning. Kind of standoffish at times, nags all of us" He lists off and I honestly can't deny that that's the way she comes off but the fact that it's Tyler talking about her behind her back bugs me. 

"That's because that's her job" I come to her defense which makes all of them smile wider. "Whatever, fuck you guys" I grumble, admitting defeat this time since I want them to stop looking at me like that. 

"So that's why you're stressed about her bringing a date to the show tonight huh?" Leo chimes in and I scoff. "It's not a date, according to her they're just friends" I say, not believing a damn word of it.

"You know this is her hometown right?" Zack chimes in, connecting all the dots now. "It is?" I ask for confirmation just in case they're fucking with me. "You think he would've known that by now" Leo taunts, gaining a glare from me.

"We don't talk about stuff like that" I say, trying to figure out some sort of excuse as to why I haven't bothered to ask her a simple question like that. Makes me feel like shit honestly. Some friend I am. 

"And what do you talk about?" Tyler asks, teasing me again. "Everything...nothing, can we change the subject?" I ask nicely, choosing a different tactic this time but it's no use. 

"You sure you don't like her?" Leo asks leaving me shaking my head.

"Nope" I deny.

"She's just a friend yeah?" Zach chimes in. 

"Yep just a friend" I say getting up to make some more tea to hopefully help me relax after this inquisition.  

"So you wouldn't mind if I asked her ou-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll chop your dick off" I cut off Tyler, surprising even myself with how quickly I responded

"Right, friends" He smirks, satisfied with how he got me to pretty much admit it with the other guys as his witnesses.

"You better make a move dude otherwise when the tour is over and she comes back home she's gonna end up with that Alex guy" Zack says, patting me on the back like he always does and yet I'm still never prepared for it,  stumbling and almost dropping the cup of lukewarm tea I was planning to refresh but honestly all I feel like having now is a stiff drink.

I open the door to the green room and head out with Asher planning to follow after scolding the guys but I bump into the person that was coming in. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close before she falls and as a result we're met with a bunch of 'ooos' and 'awwws' from all the guys but I can't be bothered to shut them up yet.

"I'm sorry I should've paid more attention to where I was going" I apologize to the woman in my arms and it takes me a second to realize that it's y/n. "Strings?" I question and she rolls her eyes, pushing against my chest and stepping back, putting some much needed space between us from her perspective. 

"A girl changes up her appearance for one day and suddenly she's unrecognizable" she mumbles and pushes past me and into the green room with me immediately trailing behind her, forgetting what I had planned to do mere moments ago. 

"What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off" Leo asks the question all of us clearly want the answer to. "Liz told me that one of you guys weren't feeling well and asked me to bring over some cough medicine" she says, holding up the bottle of said medicine. 

"Look at that JK, she came all the way here to give you some medicine so you'll feel better tonight" Leo taunts and I make a motion to show that if he keeps on running his mouth he'll regret it. He's not a vocalist so he wouldn't mind if I knocked a few teeth out of his mouth now would he?

"Of course it's you" she says, turning around and shoving the bottle towards me, clearly in a rush to get out of here. "I told you you were gonna get sick" she scolds, Tyler's description of her coming back to me after witnessing it myself. 

A white flowy dress with a matching white bag and sandals is what I'm met with, a casual but appropriate look for a spring day but she shoves me, stopping me from checking her out as it seems that I had been doing it longer than what would be considered even semi appropriate. 

"Come on Jeon I don't have time for this. Take your medicine and get back to the hotel so you can rest. We can't afford to cancel last minute so hurry up" she says, checking her phone and glancing over at Asher. 

"Can I trust you to make sure he does as he's told?" she asks, one hand on the door already to leave so he nods, assuring her he'll take care of it. "See you at the show" she says over her shoulder to no one in particular as she walks out of the club with all of the guys yelling out their various goodbyes to her.

"What's with her?" Leo asks, all of us caught off guard by her behavior since she's usually not this rough with us, at least not for something like this. She takes on the care giver role when any one of us is sick so this harsh treatment kinda threw all of us for a loop. 

"She's probably just irritated by the fact that Jungkook was clearly undressing her with his eyes" Tyler jabs and I glare, the only sort of response I have the energy to give at the moment with him granting me a sickeningly sweet smile. "Fuck off" I grumble, my frequently used phrase when it comes to him. 

I open up the meds that she gave me and take them real quick, cringing at the disgusting taste making Leo chuckle. "We should probably get you back to the room tho. Doctor's orders and all" Asher says, grabbing his jacket, phone and wallet while doing the same for me. "I feel like shit anyways so there's no point in hanging around here anymore" I grumble and take my jacket from him. 

"You guys are just running away because you're scared of y/n huh?" Tyler taunts and I roll my eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" I grumble and he laughs, leaving me scoffing and walking out to head to the car. 

"You gonna be alright tonight?" Asher asks while we wait for them to bring the car around, him having hung back for a couple of seconds to grab the medicine that I stupidly left on the table back there. "Yeah I just need to lay down" I sigh and slump into the car when Asher grabs the door for me and I give him a small nod in thanks. 

He rounds the car and gets in on the other side and within the next ten or fifteen minutes we're back at the hotel again, trudging through the hallway to our room. 

"You good?" Asher asks again to the point where it's starting to annoy me. "Yes Ash, for the love of God yes I'll be fine" I scold and he holds his hands up. "Alright alright I'll stop. Do you want anything for lunch? I'm gonna check and see if Liz can get one of the staff to get us something. Or we can just order room service?" he offers and I go with my gut on this one. 

"I don't care just get me some chicken soup or something please? I need to get this shit out of my system asap and I don't think I can stomach anything other than that" I say, dragging my feet into my room and tossing my shoes and jacket off before getting in bed. 

"You're really that sick huh?" He asks, leaning against the doorframe and seeing how my state has gotten worse since we left. "Yes I am so can you go order food and leave me alone?" I say and he shakes his head. "I'm sorry I just feel like shit right now" I reiterate and he hums in acknowledgment. "I know" he says and pushes his weight off the frame and turns to leave. 

"Sweet dreams sleeping beauty. I'll wake you up when the food gets here" he says before closing my door behind him and I sigh, happy to be alone so I can pass out for a while...and pass out I do. 

~~~~~

Once we've finished eating and I'm starting to feel better Ash starts talking about y/n again.

"So are you gonna tell her?" he asks after cleaning up. "Tell her what?" I groan, not wanting to suffer through this but knowing that if I at least tell him he can tell the other guys for me so they'll hopefully hop off my dick about this. 

"That you like her" he says and I sigh, the conversation being a twin to the one we had last night. "I don't know" I mumble and he nods his head. "You probably should just in case this whole Alex thing goes any further" he offers up. 

"It just sucks because I'm just barely starting to realize that I like her because I've been put in this situation where I could potentially lose my chance with her if I don't tell her tonight. Who knows, she could've been talking to this guy this whole time and I just assumed that she was single since she's always been so focused on our band and the tour. I mean, I can't even keep a stable relationship going with all the shit we have to do" I say and he sighs.

"That was because of her. Not you" he says, him being the only one I let talk freely about Sage. "I know" I rub my temples, trying to coax this low grade headache away before it gets any worse. "Take the time that you have left to think about it and I'll tell the guys to back off, even if that means putting a muzzle on Tyler" he jokes and I scoff.

"Can't we permanently muzzle him?" I grumble and he laughs. "I'll take it up with Liz. If anything we can get him a shock collar or something and give him a couple volts every time he pisses us off" he offers up and the image alone makes me smile. "Keep the remote far away from me otherwise we might end up with a barbecued bandmate" I joke.

"Noted" he chuckles, "I'm not gonna tell you that you have to tell her but if I were you...I would" he sighs and gets up to finish getting ready to go to. 

Should I really tell her?

~~~~~~

As we make our way through the backdoor of the venue and into the green room again we're given our outfits and the rundown one last time. 

"Okay, everyone know what they need to do?" Liz asks, the staff having joined us for this little pow wow and everyone looks at one another and nods, all of them more or less having an understanding of what's expected of them. 

"Alright guys thank you very much. I need people to double and triple check that the mics and speakers are ready but other than that if you have any questions feel free to ask me or the owner and if you see y/n in the crowd try not to bother her. It's her night off so let's just treat her like a normal ticket holder. Okay?" Liz finishes and the nerves of seeing y/n tonight and potentially telling her how I feel all come back.

"You okay?" Ash asks, having noticed how I've tensed up a bit and I nod, breathing deep and relaxing my body as best as I can. If only it was that easy to relax my mind...

"You guys ready to go? Any last minute wardrobe malfunctions or bathroom breaks?" Liz asks, her tone being a little softer with us this time around since y/n isn't here to ease the burn. "Yeah I think we're good" Zach says, nodding his head after assessing the group for a second and she takes that as her answer, not having time to check up on all of us individually. 

"I've gotta get going but break a leg...not for real this time" she says, backpedaling and narrowing her eyes at Tyler who sheepishly scratches the back of his head. "Got it" he mumbles and after a second or two of her making sure he's understood she's out the door without another word.

"So y/n-" "We're not talking about y/n unless Jungkook brings her up alright?" Asher says, cutting Tyler off before he can say anything to piss me off but everything has got me on edge tonight. "Bu-" "Tyler, leave it alone" Zach warns and the subject is dropped, with Zach's word being law per usual and this time I'm thankful for it.

"Let's just focus on the show like we always do" Asher says, breaking up the tension and reminding us that there are more important things in play here. "Right" Tyler mumbles and soon we're walking on stage. 

The roar of the crowd hitting us like it always does with the high being just as good as it always is but it's paired with something different this time and I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing.

~~~~

As the set plays on I finally catch just a glimpse of her in the crowd, her cheeks flushed and her eyes glassy, the heat and alcohol being the culprit but the smile on her face is so much freer and genuine, a sight I've only seen a few times and when the song we're performing comes to a close I whisper in Ash's ear to see if we could switch things up.

"Do you think we're ready?" I ask, hoping he thinks we are and when he gives the guys a look they all know, all of them passing on the message so we're all in sync. "Yeah we're ready, you sure you wanna play it though?" he asks, hesitant since the crowd reaction to this switch up is unpredictable but I can't shake the feeling that now is the time that this song was made for and so I nod, the guys go quiet waiting for me to introduce this next song.

"So this one isn't something you guys have heard before but it's one that's been stuck in my head since I wrote it" I say and I watch as the crowd all turns to each other, buzzing with excitement of hearing an unreleased track. 

"It's one that's meant a lot to me but I didn't really know why..." I continue and I can tell that they're even more invested now, some of them clearly waiting with bated breath. 

"I know my words seem cryptic but I hope that the right person will understand" I end and the murmurs through out the crowd continue, looking left and right to see who I might be talking about...but now I know, I know who she is.

'We never met but she's all I see at night' I start, the strong chords of the guitars and the crisp beats on the drums add power, the crowd cheering at the opening line already.

'Never met but she's always on my mind'  and as the lyrics continue I see y/n's brows furrow in confusion, knowing that this song wasn't on the setlist, the sound being familiar to her nevertheless.

'Wanna give her the world and so much more' I continue, locking eye contact with her when she realizes my eyes have never left her.

'Who is my heart waiting for'  I sing and the roaring of the crowd brings me back, the first verse drawing my attention back to the fact that I'm still performing. My eyes glance over at her whenever they can and I can see I look of confusion but she sings along and enjoys it with the crowd, not knowing if she's reading my signs correctly. 

I focus back on performing, the excitement and reaction from the crowd being something greater than I've experienced in a while. This being our encore tour with no new songs added but I couldn't hold onto it, not tonight.

'I'll take her places they ain't found yet, I'll put it all on the line'  I continue, my intentions and understanding behind the chance of pursuing her conveyed in the song without me even trying. 

Had I really been writing this about her?

'Is she someone that I see everyday?'  I sing, purposefully looking for her in the crowd but when my eyes land on her I see her looking down at her phone and then looking around, making my heart sink at the thought of her not seeing the importance of this.

'Is she someone a thousand miles away?' I continue, turning my attention back to performing and when the mantra of the song plays all the instruments cut out except for the drums and the rest of the guys direct the crowd to clap along with the beat.

'Who is my heart, heart waiting for?'  is chanted over and over until we finally kick back into the chorus, a high note I've been dying to sing live being something I fall a little short of in hopes of finding her but to the untrained ear being something you couldn't catch.

'Wanna give her the world and so much more' I sing, coming to a close and finally my eyes meet hers again. 

'Who is my heart waiting for?'  I end, the crowd's reaction of jumping and shouting in excitement makes me lose sight of her again showing me that I should really try to focus on the performance but all I want to do is run to her.

I turn back towards the crowd and thank them right along with the rest of the band and luckily we're able to take a break since I managed to time it perfectly with the intermission and as always we all tumble back into the green room. 

We all reach for the waters laid out for us and down them in entirety, the stage lights feeling so much hotter tonight but I know deep down that it was the nerves that got me feeling like this, just the sight of her making my heart race. 

How have things changed so rapidly from me being able to be close to her without a care in the world to me in shambles from just being in her presence. I'm not able to mull over that thought for long as I watch Liz come in behind us. 

"Great first half guys but why the hell didn't you tell me you were playing that song? That's not coming out for weeks!" she says, her half praise, half scolding manner being hard to decipher but when I try to own up to it Tyler takes the blame. 

"It was my idea. I wanted to keep the attention of a girl I saw in the front row that had been making eyes at me" he says, the statement not being true but I'm sure he still did use the opportunity to his advantage. 

"You've got plenty of other songs that make the girls go wild for you so just stick to the setlist next time, got it?" she says, addressing all of us since we all literally played a part in it and so we accept her scolding with promises to never do it again. 

"Anyways Jungkook you've got a visitor" she says and I'm perplexed, her never allowing anyone to come back here especially in the middle of a show but when she opens the door and y/n comes into view I quickly take her hand and pull her outside into that same parking lot we had been in just last night, not wanting an audience for this.

"What are you doing?" she asks, dragging her feet now that we're out, not wanting to be pulled along any more but I want to make sure we're out of earshot, the thought of future teasing being painful enough as it is so I just want some privacy even if it's just for this one moment now. 

"I just wanted to talk...alone" I say and she nods her head but we stand there in silence until both of us try to say something but I encourage her to go first. 

"You guys sound amazing tonight" she says and I wordlessly thank her since I can tell she's got more to say. "That song um...I thought you guys weren't done with it yet" she says, bringing up the obvious elephant in the room and the cause of the tension between us. 

"We are, we just weren't sure if we wanted to release it as a single or as part of the next album. Liz wants to kill us for spoiling it...but it felt like it was something I needed to do" I admit and she nods her head and looks down at her shoes. 

"You said that the song meant a lot to you but you weren't sure why?" she asks, repeating the words I had said on stage and I nod, waiting for her to complete her thought. "So what's changed?" she asks, the opportunity to do what I had planned to being handed to me so after taking a deep breath I finally just go with what feels right. 

"I've never thought of myself as a romantic guy or one that has a way with words but when it comes to song writing things just feel different. That song felt like I was calling out to something...well someone that I didn't have but was longing to meet. Which is pretty obvious from the lyrics huh?" I say, nervously proving my point.

"What I'm trying to say is that I've found my 'Who' so to say, but I'm not sure if it's right of me to say this already since I've only realized recently" I admit and she smiles. 

"Recently being...?" she asks, her tone being laced with amusement. "Yesterday" I answer truthfully and she laughs, confusing me. 

"This isn't funny" I scoff but it only makes her laugh more, the tips of my ears going pink but I can't deny that her laugh is one of my favorite sounds. "I'm sorry I'm sorry, go on" she says, stifling back her laughter and waiting for me to continue. 

"You're insufferable" I huff which only amuses her more. "And yet here you are confessing your love to me" she says, connecting the dots before I have a chance to and I'm left there speechless, neither confirming nor denying her suspicious which makes her start to doubt herself. 

"Unless that's not what you're doing...?" she asks tentatively, disheartened at the thought of misreading all of the signs I sent her. "No, it is" I murmur, making her smile again, my heart skipping a beat like a love sick school boy.

"So you like me?" she asks and I have no choice but to nod my head, still unsure of myself but I needed to admit it. 

"I know it's selfish of me to say this since you have a new guy in your life so if you don't feel the same way I understand" I say, not wanting to pressure her into it, "I just wanted you to know" I whisper and when she tilts her head in confusion I start to second guess myself. 

"New guy?" she asks, scrunching her brows together, the reaction endearing. "Yeah, Alex?" I say tentatively since I feel as though something is definetly wrong here. "Oh! Oh, Alex. Right" she nods her head but I'm still very much confused about her reaction. 

"You should probably come inside" she says nodding towards the building and so I suspiciously follow her, this unknown Alex no doubt waiting inside but when all I see is the addition of another girl inside that the guys are all crowding around I know now that my suspicions were very very wrong.

"Alright guys give her some room" y/n says and pulls the girl away from the very engaging conversation she seemed to be having, granting y/n with a pointed glare but she ignores it. 

"Jungkook meet Alexis" she says and the girl I now know as Alexis cringes. "Ew don't call me by my government name" she protests making y/n shake her head but Alexis, I mean Alex's vibe changes up completely once she addresses me, an almost nervousness taking over her but I guess it kind of is a given when you meet someone famous. 

"Hi Jungkook it's really nice to meet you. Y/n has told me so much about you" she says holding out her hand for me to shake which I do but my eyes are now turned towards y/n who has face palmed at her friends admission. "Oh yeah? Does she talk about me all the time?"

"I mean, well, she might've mentioned you once or twice" Alex quickly backtracks, chuckling nervously when she makes eye contact with y/n as she's giving her a glare that clearly screams 'stop talking' which I can't help but chuckle about. 

"I'm just gonna go over here, um you guys have fun" Alex says and politely excuses herself in favor of going to talk to the guys again who have amusedly been watching our exchange. 

"Once or twice?" I smirk when we're finally back in our own little world. "Shut up" she hisses and punches my arm leaving me wincing in pain. "I didn't know you would get so violent when you're embarrassed" I tease gaining me another punch on the other arm to even it out. 

"Okay okay I'm sorry I give up" I hold my hands up in surrender making her cross her arms over her chest, still not convinced but putting her guard down a little bit nonetheless. 

"So you like me too then huh?" I say unashamedly, the way her friend alone gave a few subtle hints at that making me confident in my perception. "I never said that!" she counters but her defensive nature is adorable at best. 

"You didn't have to" I say and when she tries to punch me again I grab her wrist before she can make contact and bring it up to my lips, placing a kiss on the inside of it, feeling her elevated pulse through her skin.

"I could think of a better way to expel that energy princess so why don't you hold off on that anger until after the show" I tease and from her many blinks and open mouth at my suggestive wording it's apparent that she got the message.

"I could report you for sexual harassment" she says through gritted teeth, her cheeks no doubt heating up in embarrassment. "It's not harassment if you enjoy it" I say placing another kiss on her wrist which she quickly rips out of my grasp making me chuckle. 

"Better get back to the crowd otherwise you won't be able to see my pretty face anymore" I taunt and she scoffs and goes to storm out but stops, stomping over to where Alex and the guys are, ripping her away from them again leaving the boys as the ones protesting this time and seconds later slamming the door behind them.

"So?" Asher asks, the other guys engaging in a conversation that no doubt revolves around Alex making me sigh in thanksgiving, glad I don't have to confront all of them at once. "She hasn't said it...but she basically did" I shrug, acting as if it's no big deal but praying that this show will wrap up sooner rather than later.

"Told you" he says and gives me a friendly punch in the arm. "Yeah yeah I know I should believe you more often" I sigh and rub the area he abused. "So what are you gonna do?" he asks, now bringing the reality of the situation back around. 

"All I know is I don't wanna mess this up" I say and he nods, placing his hand on my shoulder to give me silent encouragement but leaves me with my thoughts a few seconds later leaving me grabbing some water and a shot or two to calm the nerves before we're back on stage.

~~~~

The rest of the show is a blur but thankfully from the crowd's reaction it seems as though they're enjoying it leaving me feeling fulfilled once we wrap up for the night. 

After the crowd has slowly dissipated and I find it safe to go out and walk around I search the venue on the hunt for a certain girl that's been running around my head for the past twenty four hours.

I duck my head into a few unlocked rooms and even some closets but come up empty handed, thankfully not stumbling upon some people hooking up inside of them but who am I to judge?

"Looking for someone?" I hear her playful voice behind me, calming whatever nerves I felt before confronting her after everything that was said...and sung. 

"Maybe" I say, turning around to face her and leaning up against the wall behind me leaving her doing the exact same across from me in this narrow hallway, away from prying eyes. "Just maybe?" she asks and I chuckle. 

"No use looking for someone that I already found" I admit making her bite her bottom lip in a seemingly unnoticeable way unless you were staring at her lips...which I am.

"You guys played a really good show tonight. I'm proud of you...well all of you" she says, backtracking a little in favor of being shy making me smile. "Thanks, means a lot Strings" I say in a huskier voice than I had planned on, her physical reaction quick but noticeable at this proximity. 

"You nervous?" I cock my head leaving her going into a defensive state. "Why would I be nervous?" she asks, looking away and further proving my point, giving me a clear view of the expanse of her neck, temping me oh so innocently to mark her as my own. 

"Oh you know, a fan can get a little intimidated talking to their favorite rockstar" I say, pushing off the wall and taking the few steps that separate us, resting my hand up against the wall, the proximity between us clearly one that would be shared between lovers. 

"You're not just some rockstar" she counters, straightening up her posture and in turn making the space between her lips and mine all the more smaller. "No...I'm not" I say, my eyes shamelessly staring at her lips before dragging them back up to her eyes. 

"Have you thought about what I said?" my warm breath fanning her face making her shiver, goosebumps clearly visible from the sleeveless nature of this now black fitted dress, a dichotomy to the one she wore earlier. 

She hums in acknowledgement, her eyes now the ones flickering down to the way my lips curve around the words making the corner of my mouth turn up.

"And?" I ask, her silence driving me insane, the torture of finishing the show alone making me impatient beyond belief. "And?" she echoes, her coy nature making me chuckle dryly. "You're not gonna say anything?" I ask, my nose nudging against hers, playing a dangerous game before she's even given in. 

"You said I didn't have to" she counters, referring to our previous conversation backstage. "I did, didn't I?" I scoff and she hums again, clearly amused with this push and pull between us. 

"So if I were to want to do this..." I ask, moving impossibly close, to the point of where if I moved my lips ours would surely touch. "Would you stop me?" I ask just above a whisper leaving her eyes fluttering closed and her lips parted slightly giving me my answer. 

"Guess not" I chuckle before pressing my lips against her's in a bruising kiss that leave both of us gasping for breath afterwards. 

"I've been wanting to do that for so fucking long" I murmur against her lips making her smile. "I thought you only just realized you liked me yesterday?" she points out again. 

"Just because I only realized my feeling for you yesterday doesn't mean that I didn't want to kiss you before then" I say making her eyes open up in surprise leaving me chuckling and pushing off the wall, taking her hand in mine and walking towards the venue exit. 

"Wait, where are we going?" she asks, her swollen lips and breathless state making me want to do something that I know I shouldn't making me bite back the original response I had in mind. 

"Back to the hotel" I say, giving the obvious answer and she goes quiet at that, unsure of what exactly lies ahead but her stronger grip on my hand once she's come around to the idea makes me smile. 

~~~~~

I wanna pull that rockstar shit on her. I want to give into those desires that both of us are clearly craving but she's different. She deserves more than just a lust filled first time together, I want to do this right so when I kiss her goodnight and turn to head back to my room she pulls me back with a puzzled look on her face. 

"What are you doing?" she asks, her brows furrowed together in confusion, almost asking if she had done something wrong. I sigh and come back to her, placing my hands on her hips and resting my forehead against her's. 

"I don't wanna go too fast" the admission something I hadn't planned on but the need to quell her worries being more important than my vulnerability. "Why?" she asks, her fingers lacing through my hair to hold me close, making my resolve crumble just a bit. 

"You're worth more than that. You're worth more to me..." I say the last part a little quieter, hoping my genuine intentions comes out from the change in tone. 

"You're too sweet for your own good Jeon" she giggles making me let out a breath, happy that she isn't taking this the wrong way. 

"I may be a rockstar but I'm a romantic at my core" I say just to make her laugh more which works as she decides to burry her face into my neck to stifle her laughter. "Please don't ever say that again" she chuckles, her laughter slowly dying down. 

"Why not?" I ask, my grip on her hips the slightest bit tighter to bring her focus back to me. "Because it's gonna taint your whole discography with cringe, that's why" she teases making me tongue my cheek. 

"You know I have half a mind to put you in your place for that smart mouth of yours" I growl making her shiver at the thought, her lip caught between her teeth again making me drag it down before rubbing my thumb along it, pulling it back when I can see that she's contemplating putting it in her mouth just to egg me on. 

"But I won't" I say and pull away leaving her groaning in frustration, the look on her face priceless. "Come on" she groans further, crossing her arms over her chest making her cleavage look all the more tempting. 

"Let me take you out on a few proper dates first Princess" I chuckle leaving her angrily muttering to herself as she turns to unlock her hotel room. "What was that? Couldn't quite hear you" I taunt, taking a few steps back over to her. 

"I said this was a waste of a dress" she repeats, her angered look adorable. "And why's that sweetheart?" I tilt my head, thoroughly amused by her frustration with me. "Because I hadn't planned on being the one who would take it off tonight" she says and unlocks her door before opening it and slamming it in my face. 

I can't help but smirk at her efforts to get me into bed with her tonight, her embarrassed confession endearing. "Sweet dreams Strings" I say through her door hearing what I can only assume is a pillow hitting it with a soft thud in retaliation. 

"You're gonna have your hands full with that one" Asher says, popping up out of nowhere scaring me half to death. "Don't do that" I growl and push past him into our open hotel room door that he just came out of. "You guys were the one's that were making a lot of noise. I just wanted to come and enjoy the show" he laughs, shaking his head and closing the door behind us.

"Yeah well better get used to hearing some other kinds of noises from us soon enough" I taunt making him cringe at the thought. "Maybe now Liz will finally let me get my own room" he rolls his eyes leaving that as his final goodnight.

I flop down on the couch in our shared living room and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out if this was the best plan of action. The ghost of a feeling of her lips on mine and that alluring look she had been giving me after the show makes me grit my teeth, trying to block the memory.

I get a text seconds later though from Strings knocking me out of my train of thought and smashing me into another one when I open the image of her taking a picture of her reflection. Her dress now discarded leaving her bare torso exposed but the picture only affords me an image of her back, the thoughts of what else she's purposefully hiding from me making my pants grow tight. 

'Careful Strings' is all I manage to type out, my willpower waining as seconds pass waiting for her response. 

'You knew from the beginning I was never a careful one'  she sends putting a new connotation on the name 'Strings'.

'I'm really trying to be a gentleman right now but you're testing my patience' I respond, getting up and pacing back and forth, weighing the pros and cons of what might come of this if I give in. 

'I never asked you to be a gentleman' she replies making me groan in frustration, her tactics of temptation were not ones I had expected to have this big of a pull on me. 

'Be a good girl Strings and let me treat you right. You'll get what you want. Just wanna take my time with you' I send back, hoping that'll keep her at bay and for the moment it does but when I try to stand up and get ready to pass out she's sending me another message that makes me chuckle.

'Can you at least come over here so we can kiss for a little bit? :(' she's fucking adorable. A temptress but adorable nonetheless.

'No Strings, we both know that it won't end in just kissing' I send back and she just replies with an angry face as expected. 

'Goodnight Princess x' I send back and lock my phone, tossing it on my bed and getting out of these clothes so I can take a shower, smiling to myself and thinking about seeing her again.

I want to do right by her and no matter how sulky she might get but we both know that 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' or whatever that Shakespeare dude said. 

In this case meaning I want her to be putty in my hands and begging for it by the time I give in. 

'Just a couple of dates Jungkook. You can wait that long' I coach myself after a notification pops up telling me she sent me some more pictures but it leaves me debating on if I should or shouldn't look but I ultimately lose the battle and open our conversation. 

My fingers tighten around my phone as she sends me more pictures, still not completely nude but close enough to make my dick rival the wants in my brain, almost tipping me over the edge.

'Behave!' is all I manage to get out before I strip my clothes off and get in the shower, leaving my phone behind but the images of her imprinted on my mind are enough to make this shower a lot longer than intended.

I guess Asher is right, I really am gonna have my hands full. 

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[bangtan-junkie]

Dissonance (Part 2) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Genre/Tags: coworker!JK, enemies to lovers, smutttttt, slow burn (ish?), ANGST

Word Count: 6799 words

Synopsis:

After being left alone and humiliated on the floor of a dirty bar bathroom by Jungkook, you had to pick yourself up off the ground (literally). You had to get even, embarrass him like he'd done to you. Maybe you were mean to him before, but you were about to become a nightmare to humble this man. Unfortunately for you, your anger was short sighted, while Jungkook's wasn't. So you never predicted how your plans might backfire on you...

Note:

it's finally fucking here omg. ik it's super late but i'm finally decently satisfied with this. i'm looking forward to writing part 3 bc that's where the tension finally breaks and y'all aren't even ready for the revenge y/n gets lol. i hope y'all enjoy this and it lives up to part 1! i'd love to know your thoughts, if you're still pissed with jk lol, and any suggestions or requests are always welcome! chatting with you guys is my fav part <3

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Dread consumed your senses from the moment you woke up. The weekend had passed, but your chest still burned with rage at the thought of having to see Jungkook again. You hadn't even noticed the time go by over the last two days, too busy seething in your own anger. If you hated Jungkook before, you loathed him now. You forced composure as you got dressed for work. Jungkook already had the upper hand when he'd left you in the bar bathroom. He knew that you'd seen him with the girl afterwards too. You couldn't even think about whether he'd went home with her that night without being sick. After all that, the last thing you wanted was for him to think he had any kind of effect on you. You were going to go back to work with pride and confidence. At least you wanted to.

When you finally got to work, you made a beeline for your desk, pointedly not looking for Jungkook. As you settled in, one of your coworkers stopped by your desk.

"Oh hey Y/n, you feeling any better?" he asked. Your head whipped up, a gentle voice ripping you away from your resentful thoughts. You looked up at him in confusion, eyes settling on his red hair. "From Friday? You left early because you weren't feeling well?"

"Oh, right," you cleared your throat. Just then, you saw Jungkook's unmistakable figure from the corner of your eye. He was talking to someone but you could feel his eyes boring into you. Your blood began to boil but you forced yourself to stay calm. You refused to indulge him at all. "I'm feeling much better actually, thanks Jimin," you replied, shooting your coworker a sweet smile. Jimin was your acquaintance in the office; someone you could actually stand in that place. He was always kind and helpful which automatically made him better than 70% of the people there. Even though you hung out in the same circles, you never really became close friends. Probably because you were always more focused on how annoying Jungkook was whenever you were out. And you were doing it again. You made conversation to force any thoughts of him out of your mind.

"How does your hair seem more red every time I see you?" you asked with a light-hearted laugh.

"I can't be caught slacking. I put in a lot of work to keep this hair ya know," he smiled back at you.

"I still don't know how you got permission from the boss for that," you gestured to his hair. "I asked before and she shut me down so fast." Jimin laughed at the annoyed expression on your face, finding it endearing.

"I guess I'm just that charming," he shrugged, holding back a chuckle. You couldn't help but snicker. Jimin's jokes weren't that different from Jungkook's, but he wasn't obnoxious about it. Jungkook obviously believed his jokes and thought he was god's gift to the world, which made him insufferable. Jimin, on the other hand, didn't take his jokes too seriously and wasn't constantly flirting with anything that moved.

Jungkook, who was barely listening to the person talking to him, had heard your exchange with Jimin. He felt annoyance build in his chest. He knew that if he'd made the same joke, you would've been rolling your eyes and making fun of him. So why were you giggling when Jimin said it? He tried to distract himself by trying to focus on the conversation he was supposed to be having.

A quick chat with Jimin later, you turned back to your desk. You made the mistake of looking up and caught Jungkook's gaze. He looked at you, an indifferent look on his face. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; maybe you'd look away in embarrassment, maybe you'd glare at him angrily. But what he didn't expect was the cold, empty look you gave him - like you were looking right through him, like he wasn't even there. His brows furrowed for a quick second, even more annoyed now. You went right back to work.

That's how the next few days went by. Every time Jungkook was remotely in your vicinity, you'd look through him without ever acknowledging him. If he even tried to walk your way, you left the room immediately. At first, Jungkook thought you were just being childish. But when you regained your confidence after a few days, he knew that you weren't through with him just yet. If he thought your insults were bad before, the newfound loathing you had for him made things ten times worse. It started with you amplifying the spite in your voice when you insulted him for his work. You refused to speak with him directly either, so all the insults were being thrown indirectly and in front of your other coworkers. With every second this continued, Jungkook felt his patience running thin. But if you were stubborn, so was he. He kept up your little game by firing back with his usual sarcastic or flirty remarks. Internally, he was burning with fury, just like you wanted him to.

All the animosity and anger eventually came to its boiling point when you crossed the line for the last time. You had walked to your desk that morning to find that your boss had paired you and Jungkook on the next project. Your skin crawled at the idea of having to work with him over the next few weeks. Part of you wondered if Jungkook had something to do with this. Thinking about him getting your boss on board with making you his partner for this big project was only adding to the fire that was spreading through your body. You already hated the way your boss melted around him, but to think that he could manipulate her to this level? After spiraling for a few minutes, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. You had to remind yourself that you were jumping to conclusions and then convince yourself not to march over to Jungkook's desk and give him a piece of your mind. You tried to get back to work, but all you could think about were what reasonable excuses you could make to get out of this situation. The rest of your morning was spent racking your mind. With no luck, you decided to join your coworkers for lunch; hoping that it would give you a distraction.

Unluckily for you, Jungkook walked into the staff lunchroom soon after, only to find you and some of your other coworkers chatting around the coffee machine. Well, they were chatting and you were busy glaring him down from the second he stepped into the room. Your dark eyes peered at him over the rim of your mug as you sipped your coffee. You knew that there was no way in hell he was going to approach you to talk about this. The solution to your problem practically fell into your lap when you zoned back in to the conversation around you. If he really did get the boss to put you on the project with him, you'd make him regret that decision.

"I can't believe you got that huge project Y/n! You're so lucky," one of them said, playfully pouting.

"Talk about lucky," someone else chimed in, "You even get to work with Jungkook. But I guess that isn't so lucky for you." They laughed lightly, poking fun at you. Clearly they hadn't noticed that Jungkook was in the room, listening.

"Everyone here knows how much you hate him, even the boss. Really, what was she thinking pairing you guys up?" They continued to laugh at your misery. But you weren't annoyed. Instead, your mind lit up with the perfect way to get under Jungkook's skin in that moment. The second he saw the way your eyes lit up, he knew he was in for it. Jungkook prided himself on the fact that everyone liked him and thought highly of him. So what better way to get your revenge and get him to kick you off the project than to take that away from him?

"Yeah," you said skeptically, "She's never paired us up before." You continued to stare directly at Jungkook. Your coworkers looked at you with confusion and amusement.

"What changed this time?" Jimin's voice rang through the room as he walked in to join you. He'd already spotted Jungkook in the other corner of the room, and he saw the dark glint in your eyes. It was clear to him that you were up to something. So he helped you out by stirring the pot a little. Jungkook squinted his eyes at you, annoyed at seeing Jimin again and wondering where you were going with this.

"I think Jungkook really wanted this project," you answered. "And it's easy to get whatever you want when you're fucking the boss," you said, not breaking eye contact for a second. Gasps erupted across the circle as they all looked at you in disbelief. Jimin's brows raised and he scoffed, slightly taken aback that you were making that accusation. But you were more focused on Jungkook's reaction. The look on his face was beyond furious. His eyes darkened and you saw the tick in his jaw as he clenched it.

"Wait, you really think so?" one of them asked, everyone already engrossed in the gossip.

"He is a manwhore," you shrugged. Jimin stifled his laugh, not wanting to be too mean to Jungkook. You finally looked away from Jungkook and back at the group. "And he always gets the good projects. Boss doesn't favour anyone else like that." Your coworkers immediately started gossiping amongst themselves, making random connections because what you said made sense. Some of them already started getting riled up, thinking that their opportunities had been snatched by Jungkook through the boss. You obviously didn't know for sure whether Jungkook was sleeping with your boss or not. But you didn't have to. You just had to plant the idea and you knew your coworkers would jump to conclusions.

"You must be really pissed at him," Jimin whispered, leaning back against the counter. You felt Jungkook's eyes glaring daggers at you but you paid him no attention.

"I promise he had it coming," you whispered back, a devious smirk settling on your lips.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side," he chuckled. You just shot him a smirk. When you glanced back at Jungkook, you barely caught him walking out the door. You didn't know what you were expecting. Maybe you wanted him to lose his shit in front of everyone, or yank you out of the room with him. So the disappointment you felt only annoyed you more. By the time you finished your lunch and made your way back to your desk, you already began hearing whispers about Jungkook and your boss. For a moment, you wondered if this was crossing the line. Definitely. But so was getting you to blow him and ditching you in that bathroom. Now you're even. You couldn't help but smile, knowing that he must be seething about the rumours.

A couple hours later, you were being called to your boss' office to discuss the new project she'd assigned you and Jungkook. You reluctantly grabbed your things and made your way there. You couldn't keep in your scoff when you saw Jungkook already there, making your boss giggle about god knows what. Your boss cleared her throat as she noticed you in the doorway, peeling herself off her desk from how far she was leaning forward towards Jungkook. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Way to be subtle.

"Y/n," she announced, "Come, sit down." You forced a smile as you sat down in the chair next to Jungkook. He didn't say anything to you, didn't even bother looking at you. Just being in his proximity was pissing you off, especially since he had nothing to say to you. Obviously he couldn't say anything in front of the boss, but you wanted to see that you'd made him just as angry as he'd made you. Maybe all this rage was clouding your mind and judgement...but who cares?

You pulled out your pen and began taking notes as she started talking about the project. Despite hating working with Jungkook, you weren't going to let that ruin your work on this project. You rolled your eyes when you saw that he wasn't taking notes at all. Of course. As your boss began wrapping up the conversation, you gathered your things again, getting up to leave.

"Listen you two," she started, her tone changing. You raised your brows and sat down, curious what she had to say. "I know you don't like working together, but this is an important project. So please, put your feelings aside and work on this together." You scoffed, forgetting to keep your composure. That's when Jungkook finally looked at you. His eyes were fiery but he looked vaguely amused that you had the courage to scoff at the boss. Your boss was also looking at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation. That was all you needed to decide that maybe you weren't even with him just yet.

"Sorry, but it's not about feelings. Our work ethics don't match. I'd rather work on this alone," you said, straightening your back as you felt like you were in the spotlight. Your boss didn't look too happy.

"This isn't a one person project Y/n," she pointed out.

"I know, but it would honestly be easier to do the work myself instead of having to chase him around, begging him to get anything done." The amusement quickly disappeared from Jungkook's face.

"Excuse me?" he finally spoke. You ignored him.

"Maybe we can switch him out for someone who's actually focused on their work instead of flirting," you boldly stated. Your boss scoffed in disbelief.

"What is your problem? Do you think I want to work with you?" Jungkook spat, just about done with your shit. He shifted in his chair to face you, one hand gripping the armrest hard enough to see the whites of his knuckles. Oh now he had something to say.

"You're lucky to be working on this with me. Or else this project would've gone to shit," you retorted with an equal amount of spite.

"There's a reason I'm on this project Y/n. Because I'm good at my job. So if you're letting your personal feelings affect your professionalism, you need to get a grip." His words stung but you refused to accept that there was some truth to them. He was giving you a taste of your own medicine; humiliating you in front of your boss like you were doing to him. All your self control and common sense went out the window when you felt that embarrassment.

"Yeah, that's why you're on this project," you said sarcastically, referring to the rumour you'd started a few short hours ago. You could practically see his nostrils flare as he willed himself to keep his mouth shut.

"You're out of line Y/n," your boss jumped in. She hadn't heard the rumours yet, but she could clearly see that Jungkook didn't like the implications of what you had said. "I don't care whether you two like each other or not. You will put aside...whatever this is...and work together on this, and that's final," she said firmly. Irritation coursed through you, seeing her take Jungkook's side yet again.

"Yes ma'am," you barely grit through your teeth. You'd be darned if you got fired over Jungkook. You quickly stood up and left, rushing to the file room for a moment to cool down. It was the only place you could get some silence - no one ever really stepped into the filing room because most of your work was stored digitally anyways. You pressed your back to one of the metal cabinets, sliding down to crouch as the door slowly shut. You took some deep breaths to calm down. If you went back out there now, you would rip someone's head off. How did Jungkook have the audacity to continue being a dick to you? You knew you'd without a doubt crossed the line back there, but despite that, you didn't feel even with him yet. After a few moments of dragging your mind away from these thoughts, you took one last deep breath and stood back up. You straightened your skirt and fixed your hair. Since you were already there, you decided to grab some files you needed for the project before going back out there. You turned around, pulling a drawer open and digging through the files before you found them. Just as you pulled them out, you heard the door open behind you. You already knew who it was, getting a waft of his cologne. Your heart already began beating faster, not knowing what to anticipate. There was a beat of silence as the door slowly shut.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jungkook grit through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down. You didn't bother turning around or replying to him. Any semblance of self control he had left snapped when you didn't even acknowledge him. With three quick strides, he was right behind you, pressing you face flat against the cabinets. He yanked one of your hands behind your back, making you drop your files. You yelped as his entire body caged you in, slight panic rising in your chest.

"You don't get to ignore me now," he snapped, voice low. "You haven't shut the fuck up for the last few days, don't start now." He yanked your arm down further so he could hold your wrist with one hand. You groaned at the ache, but decided against complaining about it. His anger was palpable; you could practically feel it seeping through your skin, igniting your own fury. In the shock of the moment, you'd almost forgotten that Jungkook wasn't the only one with reason to be upset. This was all a consequence of his insanely disrespectful behaviour, and he had the nerve to be mad at you now?

"What is it? What's got you so fucking riled up, hmm?" He sounded bewildered, gritting the words through his teeth. The more he pressed against you, the harder it got to ignore the heat building in you. An ugly satisfaction was creeping through you seeing the way you'd managed to get under his skin. This was what you wanted; to see that you'd affected him.

"Didn't get enough cock last time? That it?" he growled, bending down next to your ear. His words pierced right through you, as if he knew exactly which buttons to press.

"Fuck you," you spat before you could compose yourself. You strained in his hold, your arm coming up to elbow him in the ribs. To your dismay, Jungkook predicted your move and held you tighter, keeping you still.

"I thought it'd be enough to keep you satiated for at least a week. But you're just a cock hungry whore hm? " he taunted, his lips grazing your ear and sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. "I should've fucked your throat a little harder. Wouldn't be able to lie about me to everyone - including our boss - then, would you?" Despite the bitterness in his voice, your body reacted to his words. Your mind was scolding itself for the rush of arousal that coursed through you. How was he still affecting you like this?

You shook your head clear. No. He wasn't going to have his way this time.

"Lie? I haven't lied about anything," you replied with a snarky tone. Jungkook chuckled in disbelief. He quickly flipped you around so you were forced to face him. You didn't hesitate to meet his ravenous gaze with your own.

"No? So you really think I'm sleeping with the boss?" he asked, tone getting serious. You shrugged nonchalantly, annoying him more.

"You'll fuck anything that moves," you jabbed. "At least fucking the boss has some real benefits unlike the girl from the bar. Maybe she'd even give you a raise if you could satisfy her properly." Jungkook couldn't hide the disgust that flared across his features; insulted that you thought so little of him. The urge to shut you up was growing stronger by the second, burning through his insides. You were going to drive him insane.

"Watch yourself," he warned, the words coming out dark and gravelly. But the surge of excitement that you felt, knowing that you had managed to provoke him, was addicting. You wanted more.

"If it was anyone else, I'd be all for it. Get that bag, you know?" you said with indifference. "But you? I thought the boss had better taste. Her bar must be in hell." That was enough for Jungkook. Before you even had a second to process what was happening, one of his hands was wrapped around your neck. His fingers dug into the flesh, limiting your breath in the most delicious way.

"You didn't seem to think so when you were begging me to touch you - to fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom," he growled, stepping closer, face inches from yours.

"Yeah, obviously I expected too much," you sneered. "You don't know how to please anyone but yourself. Boss must be a real masochist to keep going back to you. Poor thing," you tutted, knowing you'd practically nailed the head in your own coffin before you'd even finished your thought. Jungkook's face contorted in a snarl as his grip tightened around your throat. You gasped, the dark swirl in your core intensifying.

"Maybe I should talk to her," you patronized, chasing the high from pissing him off. "I can recommend someone who can actually make her feel good - get her off. A man. Not a selfish boy," you emphasized. "Think she'll like me better than you after that?" With that, his other hand was pressed firmly against your mouth, effectively shutting you up. You grunted at the sheer pressure of his hold, now struggling to breathe.

"You just don't shut up, do you?" he spat. The look in his eyes was nearly feral; like he was going to eat you alive. His ego took a hit to your words, even though he knew you didn't actually believe everything you'd said. Still, you seemed to be stuck on his 'selfishness'. It infuriated him that you didn't understand why he wasn't giving you what you wanted, but he'd had enough of you running your mouth. If you'd forgotten how easily he made you melt under his touch, he'd just have to remind you. And make sure you never forgot again.

With each passing second of silent seething, you thought he might actually choke you out. But then he let go of you. You gasped for air, coughing as you caught your breath. Just as you were about to shoot him the dirtiest look you could muster, Jungkook sank to his knees. The snarky remark on your tongue vanished as you watched him kneel in front of you, looking up at you with a carnivorous gaze. Lust consumed your senses as he wordlessly loosened his tie, tugging at the collar of his shirt. You'd think that seeing him on his knees would make you feel more powerful in the situation. But the hunger in his eyes made it clear that he was still very much in control.

Simply put: Jungkook, in a suit and on his knees, was enough to wipe away your last bit of common sense.

"This is what you want, right?" he asked, his hands slipping under your skirt. You felt paralyzed, your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved up your thighs, slowly dragging your skirt up with them. "You wanna cum, yeah?" You were genuinely struggling to form any thoughts, your senses heightened.

"Want me to make you cum?" A strangled groan bubbled in your throat at his tone. He'd barely done a thing and your breathing was already heavy. So much for your resolve. As your skirt bunched above your hips, you suddenly became hyper aware of your situation. You were still at work, in a file room, door unlocked.

"Someone could walk in," you gasped, trying to convince yourself that you didn't want this. He ignored you, trailing his fingers down your hips and legs instead. "We've already been gone for a while. What if someone comes looking?" You desperately tried to focus your wandering mind.

"I guess I should hurry then," he sneered, shooting you a glare. Then his fingers were sliding between your legs, making you close your eyes and sigh as they eased the ache in your clit. By that point you were too far gone to even feel embarrassed about having soaked through your panties. Jungkook hissed as your slick coated his digits. "I put the bar in hell, but still, you get so wet for me," he snapped, adding more pressure. For the first time all day, you had nothing to quip back with. Your sweet silence was like music to his ears. Mindful of the time, Jungkook hooked his fingers in your underwear and pulled them down your legs. You knew there was no going back as you stepped out of them. Your knees felt weak as you watched him hastily shove them in his pocket. But before you could ask what he was planning on doing with them, he hooked a hand under your thigh, lifting your leg up and to the side. With your legs spread and your pussy staring him in the face, Jungkook was struggling to control himself. He wanted to tease you - make you beg and plead - but he didn't. Fuck. He couldn't; not when he felt like he'd lose his sanity if he didn't taste you right away.

Without wasting another second, his lips were pressed to you, the velvety heat of his mouth engulfing you as his tongue licked at your wetness. Your mouth was left agape as your hands buried into his hair, using the locks to keep yourself tethered. Jungkook groaned into your heat; he felt like he was getting drunk off of you. His fingers dug into your thighs as he hungrily lapped at your pussy. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a drawn out moan as his lips wrapped around your clit, creating the perfect amount of suction. You would've thought he was starved seeing the vigor with which he ate you out. He didn't stop, didn't pull away for a single breath - too consumed with the taste of you on his tongue. You were embarrassingly close already, struggling to contain your moans and whimpers. You bit your lip, trying to hold them in, but another particular harsh lick to your clit had you groaning Jungkook's name. Seeing you unravel so quickly only fueled Jungkook's appetite; the sound of his name on your lips going straight to his aching cock. All it took was him groaning into your cunt after that to send you over the edge. Your fingers yanked at his hair, desperately pulling him closer as you felt the white heat build up.

"Jungkook, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed, voice whiny as you tried to keep quiet. "Gonna cum," you moaned right as you crashed over the edge. Jungkook felt you tense in his hold as you came on his tongue. He diligently lapped at your slit, sure to pay attention to your clit as well to help you ride out your orgasm. He slowed down as you came down from your high. Naturally, your legs tried to close together once his tongue became overstimulating. But Jungkook's hold was firm, keeping your legs apart. You tried to catch your breath, mind reeling from the mix of pleasure and pain flooding your senses.

"Jungkook... wait," is all you managed to get out. He ignored you again, picking up his pace despite your cringing.

"So fucking good," he growled against you, like he hated admitting it to himself. It felt weird hearing him compliment you after all the bickering and degrading earlier. Yet you couldn't deny that it boosted your ego seeing him so fucked out and angry. He pushed you further up against the cabinets, giving himself better access to you and delving his tongue into your dripping hole. And just like that, the sensitivity was replaced with a delicious pleasure once again.

"Please, wait..." you breathlessly pleaded. In contrast to the last orgasm, he was building this one up slowly. Unfortunately for you, that meant it felt twice as intense and you were getting increasingly worried about being caught.

"Thought you wanted to cum, sweetheart," he mocked. "That's why you're being such a bitch, right? Mad that I didn't make you cum last time?" he grit through his teeth. You cursed him under your breath, but were more focused on the feeling of his soft lips against. You finally looked down at him properly, ready to glare at him. But the second you saw his dark eyes staring up at you, the rest of his face buried between your legs, you lost your train of thought entirely. Then you saw his hand sprawled across your lower stomach while his thumb rubbed circles into your clit. Fuck, why was he so hot?

"What if we get caught?" you half-heartedly complained, trying to muffle your whimpers.

"They'll see what a fucking slut you are for me then," he grunted. You slapped a hand over your mouth when he picked up his pace, continuing to plunge his tongue in and out of you. "Keep your hands down," he demanded, pressing harder on your clit. "You're gonna keep moaning like that for me," he hissed, delving right back into the heat of your cunt. In that moment, all you heard was his demanding tone and your hands instinctively went back to his hair without a second thought. You whined, trying to keep your voice down as he slowly built up your pleasure.

"Good," he praised, his words muffled as he continued to eat you out. "I should make you scream, so that everyone knows that you, Y/n, are cumming on my tongue." His words were bitter but they turned you on more. You clearly had some problems. It didn't take very long after that to feel that white heat building up again. Jungkook could tell you were almost there, so he sped up the pace of his fingers and plunged his tongue deeper into you. "Including our boss," he rasped. And then you were cumming again; gripping tightly onto his hair and groaning his name once more.

"There you go," he coaxed, letting you ride his face. You hadn't realized, but at some point, your hips had started moving on their own. Seeing you with your eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open, as you unraveled under his touch, only fueled Jungkook's hunger. When you started coming down, he finally pulled away; giving you a second of reprieve. That was until you looked down to see his blown out, dark eyes staring at you. His mouth and chin were covered in your juices and he looked ravenous. He quickly pulled off his suit jacket, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes never leaving yours. Your chest heaved; partly because you were still catching your breath, and partly because of how fucking hot Jungkook looked in the moment. His hands went right back to your thighs, pulling them apart once more.

"Wait, what're you doing?!" you asked, eyes going wide. "I can't cum again, please," you nearly cried. His fingers dug into your thighs as he watched you plead.

"You can and you will," he said firmly. "You know why?" He slid his fingers between your folds, gathering all the wetness that had pooled. "Because you fucking love my touch," he growled. Your already weak knees felt even weaker.

"You're so desperate for it; for my mouth, my fingers, my cock." Your legs threatened to buckle under you if it weren't for Jungkook's hand holding you up. "So desperate that you're being such a fucking brat," he spat. "Trying to piss me off. So, what? So that I'd finally touch you again?" he mocked. Your senses were overwhelmed and his words settled in a pit in your stomach. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes; whether it was because of his harsh words or the overstimulation of his fingers, you weren't sure. Just as you were about to retort, Jungkook slipped a slender finger into you which slid in smoothly with how wet you were. He let out a throaty groan, quickly slipping another finger into you and curling them upwards. You nearly doubled over as he pressed right into your g-spot.

"See how tuned your body is to me? I've barely done a thing and you're already a mess," he taunted. Seeing how flimsy your legs had gotten, he quickly threw the leg he was holding over his shoulder, getting even closer to you. His name left your lips in a whine, your body torn between pleasure and worry. "Well here, I'm giving you what you want." He punctuated his words by curling his fingers again, making you moan. "You wanna cum? I'll make you cum...over and over again, so you never forget how good I make you feel." And with that, he finally pulled his fingers out before slamming them back into you, setting a hard pace.

Your mind was left blank, so consumed with pleasure that you couldn't even think about staying quiet. Whimpers and moans shamelessly tumbled out of you as he filled you up so delightfully. Jungkook wasn't unaffected either. Feeling how warm and wet you were was driving him up the wall, numbing his own thoughts.

"So wet for me, fuck. My cock would slide right into you with how drenched you are," he thought out loud. He felt you tighten around his fingers, making him snarl and pick up his pace. "Filthy fucking cockslut. I can't wait to feel you tighten around me like that when I'm fucking all this brattiness out of you," he growled, voice low. You could only moan in response.

"Jungkook, s-slow down, please," you begged, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Before you knew it, his free hand came down on your pussy, leaving a delicious sting spreading through you. A half yelp-half moan sound came out of you, making Jungkook scoff.

"You're gonna take what I give you, like a good little slut," he grunted. "What do you have to say now Y/n?" he asked, annoyance lacing his voice. "You're so convinced I'm fucking every woman and leaving them unsatisfied. Do you feel satisfied yet?" With his fingers pumping you, grazing your g-spot with every thrust, it was nearly impossible for you to form a coherent thought. When you didn't answer, he gave your pussy another smack, making you hiss.

"Answer me," he demanded, "How do you feel now Y/n?"

"F-feel good," is all you could come up with. Jungkook chuckled at your fucked out state.

"Who's making you feel good sweetheart?"

"You," you moaned, feeling yourself reach your climax again. "Oh my god. Jungkook, please...don't stop. Feels so good, I'm gonna-"

Jungkook's ego inflated as you finally found your words again, saying exactly what he wanted to hear. Hearing you beg for him almost made up for all the shit you'd put him through that day. Almost. You were creaming on his fingers before you could even finish your sentence, moaning his name way louder than you should.

"Now you're finally being a good girl," he praised, continuing to pump his fingers through your orgasm. "Fuck, you're getting so tight. Keep cumming on my fingers like that, yeah?" he groaned, imagining how good you would feel on his cock. Your orgasm was so powerful, you were cumming for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook didn't mind; continuing to work you through it. When it was finally over, your legs gave out. Jungkook quickly caught you as you collapsed, and he placed you down on his discarded jacket on the floor. You closed your eyes and waited for your heart rate to go back to normal. When you opened your eyes after a few moments, Jungkook was still kneeling in front of you. His gaze was trained on your still exposed cunt and he had slipped his soaked fingers into his mouth, tasting you all over again. You worried for second that he still wasn't done with you. He slowly dragged his glazed over eyes to meet your. You gulped at the voracious look on his face, your legs instinctively closing.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was battling with his own insatiable thoughts. He knew he couldn't forget about this, about you, about your pussy after this. As infuriating and insufferable you were, he couldn't deny how good you tasted and felt. And he sure as hell couldn't deny how hard you'd gotten him either. With his hormones surging through him, all he could think about was being inside you, in any way. He saw the look on your face and nearly scoffed. You fucked up his reputation and humiliated him all because you wanted to cum, and now you couldn't take it. He took a deep breath, forcing his thoughts away so he could be rational.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you cum again," he said. You scoffed, easing up a little with his reassurance. "You got what you wanted, right? Now maybe you'll keep your mouth shut." The high of your pleasure was wearing off and the weight of his words were hitting you. Did he really just think you were desperate for him? Had he forgotten how he was shamelessly flirting with that other girl right after leaving you in that bathroom? Reality finally caught up with you, and you realized how vulnerable you'd made yourself to him. If someone came in right now, the only person who'd be humiliated was you. Clearly, all of this was just a game to him; a way to shut you up. Jungkook was toying with you and you were letting him. A similar shame and hurt creeped across your skin as the night he'd left you in the bar bathroom. Part of you had started to feel bad about what you'd done earlier, but if Jungkook really was just using you, then you were still nowhere near even.

Without saying a word, you stood up, pulling your skirt back down. In the process, you remembered that he'd taken your underwear. But you'd have to talk to him to ask for them back, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. You'd just have to clean up later and make it through the day without them. You straightened your clothes, trying to make them look as less wrinkly as possible, avoiding Jungkook's piercing gaze. When you finally felt like you looked presentable, that's when you looked at him. This time it was him that was left a mess. His hair was ruined by all the grabbing and pulling you'd done, and his collar was soaked with your juices. You looked at his jacket that you were not standing on, and sure enough, you'd left a wet spot and now heel marks on it too. It made you feel a little better, knowing that this time he'd have to fix himself up instead of you. You picked up his jacket with the toe of your shoe before kicking it over to him. You shot him a cold look.

"You're an asshole," you stated before walking out the door. Jungkook was left on the floor, even more frustrated. He'd felt more gratified after putting you in your place, but then what was that? You'd obviously enjoyed yourself, so what was the problem now? He groaned loudly. Despite his anger, the bulge in his pants was now aching. Everything about you was infuriating to him, so how did you have this much of an affect on him? His mind wandered back to how you felt in his hands and on his tongue. He growled as he palmed his crotch, slowly taking out his hard cock. He stroked himself harshly with the frustration you'd left him with. He quickly pulled out your panties from his pocket, unable to stop himself. His head rolled back and your name spilled past his lips along with low groans as he brought up the thin fabric to his face.

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Tag List: @myjungkookthighs @bemuas @junecat18 @exortedgoods @jahnaviii @jk97bam @itsmekylabear @blueberriesm @marvelbun @vantelover1306 @runariya @btstrology @diame93 @curse-of-art @minyoongi7016

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

Ok I KNOW I should just ignore this but????? What's wrong with my username??????

I get that it says "bitch" in my banner (which I didn't even know was called a banner so shout out to this person for letting me know) but - is it the bit about the TARDIS? Is that what's upsetting them? My username is what's wrong with that response??? So many questions. On the other hand it did make me laugh though.

This is definitely a hot take but:

JK Rowling invented fursonas.

Think about it. Animagus, patroni. How many of us growing up took quizzes on what our would be? JK Rowling invented furries and I would LOVE to tell her that to her face.

[writesvani]

Dear Me | 02

lawyer! jungkook x privatechef! reader

SUMMARY: Once upon a time, Jungkook and you were everything. Best friends who shared every moment, every secret—except one: you were in love with him. But life changed. High school ended, real life began, and slowly, you drifted apart, the distance between you growing too wide to cross.

The end. Except it isn't.

One day, after a long day at work, you open your email to find a message from 13 years ago—written by your younger self. A letter you’d forgotten, sent by a service you paid to remind you of your youth, your love for him. As the emails keep on coming and you keep reading, the flood of memories hits you, and you realize something heartbreaking: you never stopped loving him.

But now, it’s too late. Jungkook is about to marry someone else. Or is he?

estranged childhood best friends-to-friends-to-lovers?

TWs (for this chapter): abandonment, unrequited love, emotional pain, jealousy, self-doubt, isolation, neglect, heartache, betrayal, loss of friendship, overwhelming feelings, loneliness

comment HERE for Dear Me taglist;

SERIES M.LIST;

— previous chapter // next chapter

wc: 4,2k // date: 22nd of March

CHAPTER TWO — It's you – well me again, UGH happy reading my gummies...

AN: hey everyone! holy moly, i am literally sobbing seeing how much support this fic is getting. like, i can’t even. y’all are just chef’s kiss. pls keep reblogging, liking, and sharing the love because i appreciate it more than i could ever express! BUT. and this is a big but (no, not that kind of big butt lol), i’m absolutely OBSESSED with reading your comments. seriously, i live for them. your thoughts, your reactions, your theories, ALL OF IT. i am lurking, waiting to reply and fangirl with you. you can also come talk to me on my blog – my ask box is always open, let’s chat, let’s get unhinged. thank you again for all the love, you’re all amazing, and please never forget, i adore you all. now go comment or i will personally haunt your dreams (jk… or am i?) 💕

— love, vani

You’re not certain about many things in life, but there is one undeniable truth: you are a creature of habit. A prisoner of routine. A slave to the ticking clock.

Everything about your life follows a rhythm—a comforting sequence of events that you know like the back of your hand. The way your mornings unfold, how your afternoons stretch on, and the quiet predictability of your evenings. It’s not just familiarity. It’s safety. A shield against the chaos that could unexpectedly break through.

Since childhood, you’ve held tight to the belief that routine is the antidote to disorder. It was the one thing you could count on, the one thing that offered stability in a world full of unpredictability.

But now?

Now, there’s a disruption. And it’s not a small one. It’s as if the very fabric of your week is being unraveled, thread by thread.

There’s a gnawing ache in the pit of your stomach—a hollow feeling that you can’t shake. It burrows into your thoughts, quietly slipping into the spaces where your peace used to reside. It’s a feeling that’s eating away at the walls you’ve carefully built around yourself. A slow, relentless erosion of the calm you’ve worked so hard to protect.

The worst part? It’s not just the present. It’s everything that’s been hanging over you, lingering like an uninvited guest.

The whole damn week—every second of it—looms in the back of your mind. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself you shouldn’t be thinking about it. It doesn’t matter how many distractions you try to throw at it. The thought still creeps in, gnawing at the edges of your thoughts, never letting you rest.

The email.

Not just the email itself, but the fact that it’s coming again.

It’s maddening. The thing that claws at you the most isn’t the dreaded message itself, but the fact that you can’t remember what you wrote in it.

You’ve been writing these emails since you were just a teen. The words, the phrases—they’ve become second nature to you, so familiar that they’ve lost their meaning. But now, now it feels like they’ve become ghosts. You can’t grasp them anymore. It’s as if they were written by someone else, someone you no longer recognize.

Too many things have happened. Too many choices made. Too many pieces of yourself you’ve buried so deep that even you can’t recall them.

Possessed. That’s the only word that could possibly describe what you’re feeling.

You wake up with an unsettling giddiness, the kind that makes your stomach twist, and as soon as Wednesday arrives, it consumes you. A nervous energy builds inside you, bubbling up with every passing minute. You try to focus, to concentrate on the task at hand, but it feels impossible.

At work, you can’t seem to get anything right. The moment you step into the kitchen, disaster strikes. You knock over a pan with a loud clang, the sound echoing like a mistake that can’t be undone. The judgmental glare from your boss stings more than you expect—why does she have to work from home, anyway? You don’t need her disapproval hanging over you.

But the pan is just the beginning. The soup, which you had so carefully planned, boils over on the stove, its aroma turning sharp and unpleasant as it becomes too salty. You have to start over, again, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t get it right.

Then, while washing the dishes, you break not one, not two, but three plates in quick succession. Each crash is like a sharp reminder of how out of control you feel. Your hands shake, your breath quickens, and you nearly cut yourself in the process. Almost.

You know exactly why you’re like this. Why everything feels so off, so wrong. You know it’s not just clumsiness or nerves. It’s because today is Wednesday. The first email came last Wednesday. And that means—

It’s coming. And it’s coming today.

And the anticipation, the weight of it, hangs over you like a dark cloud you can’t escape.

You close the door to your apartment behind you, the soft click of the lock a familiar sound that echoes in the quiet of your space.

Water clings to your skin like an unwanted reminder. Droplets trail their way down your body, dripping messily onto the wooden floor beneath you, leaving small puddles in their wake. Your shoes, heavy with mud, leave their own trail—a mess you’ll have to clean up later.

Your teeth chatter from the cold, and a curse slips past your lips before you can stop it. The realization hits you like a punch to the gut: you’ll be scrubbing this floor again.

"Ugh," you groan, the sound of frustration hanging in the air. You swear to God, you’re going to start carrying an umbrella every day—yes, even when the sun is shining bright.

This morning, though—this morning had been perfect. The lazy rays of sunlight stretched across your room, coaxing you awake with their gentle warmth. It was just warm enough to wear a T-shirt and pants, courtesy of Spring's tender touch. You had woken up to the harmonious melody of birds and nature greeting the new day.

But then, work ended. And as soon as you stepped outside, the heavens opened. The rain came pouring down, without mercy.

You barely had time to brace yourself—a small, five-minute walk from the bus stop to your apartment, and you were drenched. Now, the cold seeps into your bones, creeping up your spine. You can already feel the tightness in your throat, that familiar ache that will make swallowing a painful ordeal, which—coming from a chef—is nothing short of devastating.

And your nose? It’s already starting to run, that disgusting, constant drip of misery. The irritation swells inside of you, a sharp, biting frustration that makes you wish you could just disappear into the warmth of your dreams, away from the cold, the rain, and the never-ending annoyances.

You try to stretch out your shower, clinging to the warmth of the water as it pours over you, trying to let it soothe away the tension of the day. The heat surrounds you, but your mind pulls at you, relentless, reminding you that there’s no escaping what’s coming.

Before you even realize it, the evening slips away from you. Dinner’s a blur. After it, you’ve made your favorite—green tea, comforting and simple—but it’s not enough to calm the storm inside you.

You sink into your couch, the soft fabric wrapping around you like a too-familiar embrace, but it doesn’t quite hold you the way you need. Your laptop rests in your lap, its weight small and familiar, like the way your legs drape over the coffee table in front of you. A simple, normal scene. But nothing feels simple right now.

There’s an unsettling quiet before you break it.

Click.

Click.

You open the email.

It feels almost too much to bear, too heavy for the moment. The words on the screen seem to stretch, pulse, and mock you, as if daring you to face whatever’s inside. The thing you've been running from all day. The thing you can’t shake, no matter how hard you try.

And as your eyes fall onto the text, a wave of something tight and cold wraps around your chest, making it harder to breathe.

“Dear me,”

You bite down on your cheek, a small habit that betrays the nervous energy running through you. Your eyes skim lazily over the words on the screen, barely registering the flow of text at first.

“It’s you—well me again, UGH. THIS SHIT CONFUSES ME TOO MUCH BECAUSE LIKE, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS US? SHOULD I USE ME, US, YOU? I’ll probably be using all of those. Anyway, the past week has been the first week of high school, and I LOVED IT.”

A small, almost involuntary smile tugs at the corners of your lips. She loved it. You can feel that warmth in your chest, a tug of nostalgia for the beginning of your high school journey. The days were full of excitement, each one an unknown adventure. You remember how every second of it felt—like you were just waiting for something to change, to begin.

“Anyways, what’s new is I made TWO new friends, their names are Yoongi and Nina.”

Your heart flutters, that familiar warmth surging within you as thoughts of the twins invade your mind. Your chest feels lighter, as if your heartbeat is dancing just a little faster. You remember those first shared glances with them—the way their presence seemed to fill the room, just as it does now.

“THEY’RE TWINS, ISN’T THAT SOO COOOOOL? AND THEY’RE FROM NEW YORK, WHICH HELLO, SINCE WHEN ARE BIG TOWN FOLK MOVING TO THIS LAME CITY?”

The words ring in your mind, playful and free, as you imagine them—their voices, their laughter, the energy they brought with them. You can’t help but smile, the memory of their faces suddenly so vivid, so real.

“They’re kind of shy though—but they sit behind Kook and me, so I finally got them to talk to us yesterday,”

A flash of Yoongi’s young face suddenly strikes you—a brief, sharp image that you can’t shake. You remember him clearly, sitting in the back row, shoulders slouched, his nose buried in a book. The memory is so vivid, like a photo you’ve never forgotten. That was Yoongi. The bookworm. The quiet observer. He was always tucked away in the corner of the classroom, never seeking attention.

You can still see him now, the way his eyes were always lost in the pages of novels, the weight of words pulling him deeper into worlds only he seemed to fully understand. Yoongi wasn’t the kind of person to take up space with noise or drama. He was the kid who avoided the spotlight, who didn’t need the chaos of teenage gossip to exist. Instead, he was happy in the quiet, turning page after page, writing essays that won competitions without ever trying.

And you loved him for that. For the way he could exist without needing to be anything other than himself. The mutual love of books had bonded you two in a way that few others could understand. It was an unspoken connection that stretched back to high school, back to when the two of you would spend hours talking about novels, about the worlds between the pages.

Now, years later, you’re both far from those early days—living in apartments fifteen minutes away from each other, with careers that have shaped who you’ve become. But Yoongi remains a fragment of that high school you—still here, still unchanged in ways that matter. He’s the piece of you that didn’t fade, didn’t leave when everything else seemed to shift. He stayed.

You bite your lip, the weight of those memories pushing you back into your seat. You’re thankful for having the luxury of knowing Yoongi—having him in your life. You’re thankful that he didn’t abandon you.

Your thoughts drift to Nina, her image flashing in your mind with an almost effortless clarity. Nina was always so beautiful, in a way that felt natural, like it came easily to her. From the chestnut strands of her hair, which would catch the sunlight in just the right way, to the lazy hum of green in her eyes—a color that seemed to flicker, almost mischievously. Even though she and Yoongi were twins, they didn’t look alike in the way you would expect. They shared that one thing—the gummy smile, the one that colored both of their faces, but that was where the similarities ended.

Nina was the embodiment of the teenage dream—the one everyone noticed, whether she wanted it or not. Wild. Reckless. Effortlessly captivating. She never had to try, never had to force attention on herself, yet it always found her. Even when she tried to avoid it, when she would feel the heat of all those eyes trained on her, even when her ears would flush with the soft pink of embarrassment, she was always the center of attention.

And it felt so familiar, like deja vu.

Much like Jungkook. So much like Jungkook.

A shiver crawls down your spine at the thought of him. Your body twitches involuntarily, like some cosmic force is urging you to look away, to move on from the screen.

But you can’t.

You simply can’t.

“I don’t know them well enough, but both Kook and I think they’re cool. Well, I mostly talked with Yoongi because he was reading Wuthering Heights AND I NEVER SAW ANYONE, LET ALONE A BOY READING IT? HELLO? 911 I FEEL LIKE FAINTING.”

You laugh softly, the sound escaping you almost involuntarily, and tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, the familiar gesture one that feels too gentle, too intimate for the moment.

“And Nina is sooooo pretty. I feel like I’ve never met a prettier girl in my life AND she’s kind,” your gaze drifts, and in your mind, you nod at your past self, agreeing with her—yeah, Nina is pretty. She’s sweet too.

“But I think Jungkook thinks she’s pretty too. Which is weird. Lowkey.”

The words slip too easily, but there’s a weight now, settling somewhere deep inside you. Your stomach flips—suddenly queasy, your skin prickling. Nausea spreads through you like a dark cloud, thick and suffocating. The cold that you feel creeping up your spine could be from the chill in the air, or it could be from the words you’re reading. You're not sure which one it is. Maybe it’s both.

This is it. The beginning. The words you’d been dreading, the ones you knew were coming, yet couldn’t prepare for. Reading about Jungkook and Nina. The start of whatever they were. The start of whatever love they shared that grew so greatly.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, suddenly feeling the weight of something heavy in the pit of your stomach. The feeling of something real starting. The one thing you’ve feared the most.

Your gaze flickers down to the bottom drawer of your desk, and your heart skips a beat. The envelope. It’s still there, untouched.

The invitation.

The invitation to their wedding.

The wedding Jungkook didn’t tell you about before inviting you.

You try to force yourself to focus on the rest of the email, but the words blur in front of your eyes—nothing seems to matter anymore. Some mention of a fight with your mom over laptop time, a new dish you cooked, but the sentences fall flat, blending together into a haze of indifference. They don’t matter. Not like Yoongi, not like Jungkook, not like Nina. And certainly not like Nina and Jungkook together.

And their wedding.

You can’t shake off the gnawing sense of dread that’s settled deep in your chest, weighing you down. Your stomach twists, heavy and sick with the kind of nausea that feels like a thousand broken shards scraping inside. It's as if someone stuffed it with rocks, cold and jagged, leaving you gasping for air.

You had no idea Jungkook was getting married before that invitation showed up in your mailbox. And it eats away at you, slowly, relentlessly. You hate it.

You tell yourself it’s normal. You two just drifted apart, right? It’s been years. Of course, he didn’t feel the need to tell you something so big. But it still hurts, deep down. It gnaws at you—steals your sleep, pulls you under.

Because years ago, you couldn’t have imagined your best friend getting married and not telling you. It would have been unthinkable, absurd. The younger you would have sworn this was just some terrible, cruel dream. But it isn’t.

It’s real.

To be honest, the shift in your dynamic with Jungkook wasn’t sudden. It wasn’t some abrupt change that left you reeling—it was slow, almost imperceptible, like the tide eroding the shore little by little. Neither of you noticed it at first, and you’re certain that if either of you had, one of you would’ve stopped it.

It all started when you were eighteen. At that point, you knew you didn’t want to go to college. Everyone around you was shocked, confused. Everyone, except for your mom and Jungkook. They understood the real dream—the one you weren’t ready to share with the world. Your summer in Europe. The plan you’d built with your mom to travel and immerse yourself in new cultures, learning recipes from every corner of that continent.

But everyone else? They couldn’t understand. You had always been the perfect student. The one who always did well, excelled. So when you chose to follow something different, they whispered. Lazy. Stupid. Reckless. It didn’t bother you, though. You knew you were doing something others were too afraid to—chasing your dreams, and the thrill of it was enough to drown out their voices.

Jungkook was different. You expected him to do the same—to follow his own path, to go after his dreams, too. But instead, he gave up. He had to.

“I have to go to law school. This drummer thing isn’t gonna pay my bills,” he said one night, voice quiet, almost ashamed. He whispered it after a fight with his father—words laced with a pain you could feel in your bones.

Your heart hurt for him, in a way that felt like it was ripping you open. Because Jungkook didn’t have the luxury of being himself. Not when the weight of his father’s debts was constantly looming over him, threatening to crush him under its heavy burden. He had no choice but to give up the dream that once seemed so bright. And it broke you to watch him do it.

So, you spent the last months of your senior year getting ready for your trip, the one that had been your dream for so long. Meanwhile, Jungkook was buried in his textbooks, his focus unwavering. He wasn’t a natural student, but his determination—his sheer persistence—was something you couldn’t help but admire.

He didn’t sleep. He barely ate. His entire world revolved around those books. You remember just hanging out at his house while he studied, watching him from across the room. His posture was tense, shoulders hunched over the pages, the necks of his textbooks cracked and worn from hours of use. Pens and highlighters were scattered around him, as if chaos had taken over his once organized space. And his face—his beautiful face—was painted with the telltale signs of exhaustion. Dark circles under his eyes, hair falling messily over his forehead. It was then, in that quiet moment, that you first felt the shift.

Then came prom. You were supposed to go with your boyfriend, but right before the event, he broke up with you. You were left standing there, heart in pieces, but Yoongi—always the good friend—was there. He was thinking of skipping prom altogether, but you begged him to take you. You never really saw yourself going alone. Prom had always been something you were excited for. The satin dress, the heels, the makeup, the perfect hair—it was all so meticulously planned in your head, down to the perfect date.

But your dream date wasn’t Yoongi. Not even your ex boyfriend. Your dream date was supposed to be Jungkook. He was taking Nina instead. And even though you tried to push it aside, it hurt. Deeply. So, you begged Yoongi—because you couldn’t let your perfect night die completely, not without something to hold on to. It was the only way you could make the night feel even a little like the one you had imagined.

Nina and Jungkook got together two months before prom, and no one was surprised—not even you. They were always destined to be. The quiet charm they shared, the shyness that somehow made them more magnetic, their popularity, and those soft, knowing glances—they were always a perfect match. Everyone, including you, saw it coming. It was written in the way they were together, how effortlessly they fit into each other's lives. No one doubted it for a second.

And despite the ache that twisted in your chest, despite the quiet pain of seeing them together, you smiled. You smiled because it was what he deserved. It was what you wanted for him—even if it wasn’t you standing next to him. You offered them your support, effortless and kind, even as the weight of your own heartbreak threatened to drown you from the inside out.

You wanted him so much it consumed you, but you kept quiet. You kept silent because you knew deep down that you would never be the one. Not for him. Not in that way. And even though it was tearing you apart, you told yourself it was worth it—because you wanted the best for him. Even if that meant letting him go.

And then came the summer. A season that promised escape, adventure, and a chance to rewrite your story. You spent it immersing yourself in the art of perfecting a croissant in France—its golden, buttery layers a silent testament to the dreams you were chasing. You learned how to make pizza dough in Italy, each knead of the dough a reflection of the foundation you were building for yourself. You basked under the Tuscan sun, feeling its warmth seep into your skin, a quiet comfort in its consistency. You stood in the loud streets of Greece, perfecting gyros with the same passion you had for your craft, and you immersed yourself in the history of the Balkans while sitting on a beach in Croatia. The world was wide, and you were exploring it in a way you had always dreamed of. It was a dream made real—but it never fully filled the hole in your chest.

And Jungkook? Jungkook spent his summer falling in love with Nina. You knew about their secret places, their quiet moments. You knew about the way he looked at her—the same way you used to look at him, the way you still wanted to look at him. He spent the summer laying in the grass with her, the breeze pulling their laughter into the air. They visited hidden beaches in your town, their footprints imprinted on the sand, and he held her close, just as you once imagined he would hold you. He made love to her, touched her, and gave her the things you had always wanted for yourself but would never get.

It hurt, more than you could bear, but you got used to it. It was the kind of pain that didn’t go away, the kind that you learned to live with. You told yourself you would, at least. You had to. You had no other choice. It was the reality of it all—the world that had shifted around you without your permission, without your consent. So, you buried it deep, kept smiling, kept writing to him, kept pretending. Because sometimes, pretending was all you had left.

And then, just when you thought your heart couldn’t take more, life threw you a chance. You were in Montenegro—another place to explore, to escape. It was on a whim, a moment of passion, that you ended up cooking for strangers at a small, bustling seaside restaurant. Someone noticed you. Someone tasted your food and liked it. It was an ordinary day, yet it was the turning point you didn’t see coming. You were offered an opportunity to work as an assistant chef on a yacht.

At first, you hesitated. You had never even imagined such a huge thing. But you always watwd it, so you took it. You grabbed it with both hands, like it was the one thing that could save you from all the lingering emptiness. You had always dreamed of something bigger than what your life had been—the same routine, the same city, the same old connections that kept you tethered to the past. And here it was, an opportunity for growth, for something different.

Your mom traveled with you for the first few months, like a safety net. She was your anchor, your lifeline in the chaos of new beginnings. But she had her own life to return to, and soon, she left. You stayed—alone, scared, but driven. Cooking and cruising around Europe, on a yacht you never thought you’d be on. You cooked for a woman you didn’t know, on a sea that seemed endless. The hours were long, the days blurred together, but you found purpose in it. The work wasn’t easy, but it was yours, and you were making something of yourself.

When you came back, after months of moving from one coastal city to the next, she offered you something real—something solid. She made you her private chef. It wasn’t just a job anymore. It was a new life, a new beginning. You had carved your own place, built a career from scratch, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you had something truly yours.

But even with all this success, all this newness, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something—someone—was missing.

Jungkook went to college. The path you thought you’d walk together diverged, and like so many things in life, the distance grew in small, almost unnoticed increments. The calls, once so frequent, became rare—each word feeling heavier, too shallow to bridge the gap that was silently growing between you. You were busy, too busy building your life, carving a future that you never quite pictured would look like this. He was tired, burnt out from the demands of his studies, struggling to keep up with everything.

You were up during the day, hustling in the kitchen, perfecting your craft, and when the clock hit 10 pm, you collapsed into bed, exhausted from the relentless pace of it all. He was the opposite—up all night, pouring over textbooks, and by the time he called you, you were already asleep. When you reached out to him, he was caught up in his studies.

And somewhere, between the rush of your schedules, the world you shared drifted away, unnoticed. You both tried, maybe, but the threads slipped through your fingers, unraveling, until neither of you recognized the version of each other you were becoming. The late-night calls, the inside jokes, the shared dreams—they faded into the background. The connection you once had felt like a distant echo.

And you never found your way back to each other.

taglist: @lovingkoalaface @santiiagopopegarcia @jadaocon1 @asyr97 @gukieater @themwordsblog @whatevevrerr @amarawayne @tititania @guwol @reallygenerouskoala @bgfdcvbnjk @kyljjk @whoa-jo @taekritimin123 @minimoninini @upo1313 @polnaraffsrack @tatzzz-25

[keen-li]

"Come here baby girl"

Synopsis: just a little imagine of when you're so frustrated with work and someone hooted at you on your way home which lead to a whole crying session. Jungkook comforts as you rumble through tears.

Warnings: unedited, possible errors.

Jk x fem reader.

_

Jungkook had noticed it from the way you aggressively opened the door and how you rushed to carelessly take your shoes off.

He turned his head to watch you, keeping his questions to himself first just so that he could try and trace your mood. Then when he noticed it.

Your little sniffles and tear stained face.

He furrows his brows in confusion and sits up fully as your figure fully disappears into your shared bedroom.

His heart dropped and as he walked closer to the bedroom he could hear your muffled cries grow clearer.

"Baby what's wrong?"

You hear Jungkook speak hands kept to himself for the moment. He wants to hold you but first he needs to know if you'd even want him too.

Your cries grow louder when you feel him sit down next to you.

You didn't expect to take it that serious but again you didn't expect it to cause you to cry as well. You were coming home from your already tough day at work and some dude on the road almost rear-ended you and had the audacity to hoot at you and cuss you out.

You didn't want to take it seriously cause you've already had a bad day at work, but soon you couldn't control the river of tears that followed after. You were frustrated and anything at that point would've push you over the edge.

You continued to cry lightly as you drove and walked up to your apartment. Which added to the tears cause the elevator wasn't working.

Today was just not your day.

You knew jungkook would be home so you did try your best to keep your crying down. But you were soon to make it obvious and jungkook was soon to notice.

"Can I hold you? " He whispers, voice soft and delicate to suit your emotions. You and jungkook have Ben together for a good amout of time but he still likes to make sure that you don't mind him trying to hold you.

Once you nod, giving him the yes he needed. He places a hand on your lower back and caresses you.

"Want to tell me what happened?" You don't respond, but jungkook is patient enough. You did text him how tough work was, but he hadn't known the extent. As you continue to cry he gets a little kpre worried.

"Baby what happened?" He narrows his brows getting worried.

"It's not fair" you sniffle amd he listens."I was driving and this dude hooted at me and cussed me out like I did something" you lift your head from the pillow to sound more clear.

"I didn't want to cry but i had such a shitty day with my boss and Co workers so that guy really just ticked me off."

The tears roll down.

Jungkook pouts at your puffy face.

"Awwh, come here" He coos as he pulls you into his arms and you move into them willing and choosing to stuff yiur face in his hoodie covered chest. His warmth and comforting scent helping you to calm down. Jungkook rocks you in his arms and your sobs turn to whimpers.

He cuddles you like you're a little baby. His little baby. Legs folded into his lap, arms wrapped around his torso and head on his shoulder.

You stopped crying at this point, and now just relishing in this moment.

"Feeling better?" He looks down at you.

"Mhm"

"I love you okay? " He stokes your cheeks with his thumb, slightly lifting your chin up so that your eyes can meet.

"It's not your fault, okay? " He speaks against your lips still holding your chin up.

You nod.

He places a little peck on your lips gently and you melt at the touch of his lips with yours.

"You should take a bath to calm down and relax" he suggests and places one ore liss on your lip.

"Yeah, that sounds great. If you join" you give him a cheeky smile.

"I was planning on it."

-

Lol this was so plain🤣 but who cares, just wanted to push something out.

Got a 17k project for you guys coming up.🥴

[hgfictionwriter]

First Impressions: Part two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Okay, so maybe Jessie isn't as shallow or one-dimensional as you thought. You decided to give her a chance, but first impressions and long-standing reputations can be hard to simply forget about. Can you let your insecurities go and can she prove that she's serious about you?

Warnings: Smut. Edging. Cunnilingus. Fingering. Language.

A/N: Part two! The rehabilitation of Player Jessie lol. It's a bit long, but there is smut, I swear.

“Hey Beautiful. How’s your day going?”

You glanced up from your phone and bit back a smile. You idly glanced around the library, clearing your throat before resettling on your phone and typing out a reply.

“Texting me when you’re on the road? You must be bored.”

“Day’s going well. Just at the library right now.”

“What? Without me?! I feel betrayed jk”

“I’m not bored. Just missing my study buddy turned…girlfriend?”

Your posture straightened and your eyes narrowed as you read her message.

“Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

"Yeah?"

"Lol why the question mark! You're either asking me out or you're not."

"I am."

"Wow."

"What?! What was wrong with that? Lol. I thought it was smooth."

"Your inexperience is showing, Fleming."

“Well that’s a first.”

You rolled your eyes. When you glanced back down you saw she was typing.

“You said you didn’t want casual. And we've had some great dates. And I don't want to seem too over-confident, but I think I've coaxed you along from tolerating me to perhaps even enjoying my company. Periodically lol. So, I’m just following through.”

You bit your lip and your cheeks ached from holding back a full blown smile. Your head buzzed as you reread her message.

If there was a theme in your dynamic, it was that you had to give a hard time. Even in this situation.

"Enjoying your company? Let's not get carried away, now. I mean, just because we text all day, have hot make-out sessions, say sweet, romantic things to each other and it took us an hour and a half to say 'goodnight' yesterday, doesn't mean anything. So presumptuous of you."

"Ugh. You're right. I've misread the signs. My bad."

"But seriously - you haven't answered. And I'm actually getting nervous. Come on, Y/L/N. You'll either be my girlfriend or you won't 😛"

You smirked. You appreciated how easily you two bantered and this was no exception.

A few weeks had passed since that night in the hallway. Things escalated quickly, honestly. Suddenly there was this emotional intimacy that was rapidly evolving between you two and it just felt so natural. And Jessie, despite everything you would've originally expected, had been sweet, authentic, and steady.

The opportunity to step away and stop yourself from catching feelings was long over. Dangerous territory? You were in the thick of it. If you were going to turn back, now was the time.

"Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."

"That just 1000% made my day. My week. Month. More!"

You rubbed your face in elated disbelief and typed out a reply.

"Well. If you keep it up, my feelings for you might progress from tolerating, to enjoying to...who knows."

"Shit. I honest to God want to turn around and come back. And I never want to miss camps."

"I seriously miss you."

Giddy. You felt fucking giddy and you couldn't believe it.

"I miss you too. Which is fucking crazy since I saw you less than 24 hours ago."

"Tell me about it lol."

"I'll be here when you get back."

“Better be lol. And until then. Don’t let some other nerdy athlete charm you.”

You audibly laughed, cutting it short as it sounded through the quiet space.

“Yeah. And you keep your little fan club at bay while you’re away, okay?”

“Easy. I’ll text you after we're done for the day, okay? Happy studying!”

You couldn’t believe what was going on. It was so unexpected that you still had to remind yourself of the events that took place to get here. It was the only way to reconcile the fact that you were sitting here texting with Jessie Fleming. Flirting with Jessie Fleming. Dating Jessie Fleming. Someone who was Bad News; the type to break your heart and leave you longing.

Yet, someone who you - maybe - had all wrong.

Someone you, in fact, very much, were swooning over.

-------

You were reading the slide on screen and listening to the professor when suddenly Jessie nudged you with her elbow.

She had her eyes trained forward but shifted her laptop, angling it towards you. A smirk began to tug at the corner of her mouth and she gave you a brief, cursory glance. You looked down at her screen to see she'd selected some text in her notes.

"You look amazing. Stop distracting me."

You nearly blew a raspberry, managing to suppress it into a vague scoff. You rolled your eyes as you faced forward once more, but felt a blush burning on your cheeks. You glanced back at her to see her smiling widely at you now. She returned her attention to her laptop and typed out a new sentence.

"You know you're beautiful. You don't need to be shy about it."

You shook your head affectionately and typed out a reply before turning your screen slightly towards her. Your posture stiffened as she placed a hand on the edge of your seat to lean in to read.

"You're out of control. And who's distracting who here, huh? lol"

She retracted her hand to start typing and you missed it immediately. When she was done typing you leaned over, placing a hand directly on her thigh as you read the message.

"You are distracting me. You = distracting and gorgeous."

You silently snickered with another shake of your head.

"Omfg. You're ridiculous."

She glanced down at your hand purposefully.

"Especially now."

You gave her a look somewhere between chiding and teasing. She shot you another smirk and typed further.

"Don't get me wrong. I like it."

"Care to go on a little adventure with me after class?"

You weren't going to say 'no'. She knew it. You knew it. And sure enough, after class she led you by the hand to another building across campus until you were in an abandoned stairwell. You assumed you were going to continue on elsewhere, but learned otherwise when she gently pushed you against the wall with a charming smile and a slow kiss.

You giggled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around the back of her shoulders.

"You take me to the nicest places," you teased.

"Both our roommates are in, so privacy is a tough commodity to come by," she replied with a chuckle as she began to kiss her way down your neck. It took every effort not to gasp. "You look gorgeous all the time, but I especially love when you wear your hair up. I couldn't stop staring at your neck - all I could think about was kissing it."

Goosebumps erupted across your skin as her warm breath caressed you, her lips explored and you could feel just the slightest, teasing touch of her tongue on your neck.

While the emotional barriers you'd tried to put up had proven entirely fruitless and ineffective, you'd done a much better job of withholding physical boundaries.

Given your concerns going into this relationship, you'd told yourself that you wanted to very strongly establish an emotional foundation with Jessie before being physically intimate. So even though you would've probably already slept with someone by this point, and Jessie most certainly would've too, you'd never allowed the two of you to go further than a heavy and hot make-out session.

You wanted her to work for it. To earn it. And to your surprise, she didn't seem deterred in the least. She'd been respectful and patient. Well, mostly patient. You knew she was raring to go, but any time you pumped the brakes she backed off.

Your hands were running through her hair and you two were - consciously or not - rocking your hips against one another's as she kissed and lightly sucked on your neck and her hands began to inch under your top. Your core was throbbing with need already.

"What if someone comes by?" You managed to say, eyes falling shut at the sensations she was sending through your body.

"No one ever comes here. Don't worry," she responded easily.

Your eyes fluttered opened, a frown slowly forming across your forehead. The lightness and excitement that had been coursing through your veins a moment before was immediately replaced with a heavy pit in your stomach.

You pulled back, slowly dropping your hands away from her head to her waist and pushing gently. She extended her neck, working to keep her lips in contact with your neck before eventually relenting with a confused look and allowing herself to be pushed back.

"I should probably go," you said, tone admittedly a bit flat as you failed to hold eye contact with her while you smoothed out your clothes.

"Wh-huh?" She asked, blatantly puzzled by your change in demeanor. "What's wrong?"

You shook your head subtly and began to walk away. You were deeply tempted to not reply at all or to just deflect, but instead you replied with, "Look. I'm not going to be just some other girl you fuck in a stairwell between classes, okay?"

You had your back to her and were pushing the door open so you missed whatever physical reaction she had, but her perturbed, "Are you serious right now?" rang loud in your ears.

You continued to walk outside, her footsteps close behind you and you turned around folding your arms against yourself.

"Yeah. I am," you told her almost wearily. You could see the frustration on her face and she laughed in disbelief.

"What," you challenged. "Are you going to tell me you haven't brought other girls here? Made out with them there? Fucked them even?"

Despite her irritation, she averted her gaze, scoffing lightly and eventually offering an exaggerated shrug.

"And if I did?"

You shook your head, turning away slightly with a huff. She gave an empty laugh.

"Would you rather I lie? 'No, baby, you're the only one ever!'" She finished mockingly.

"What the fuck, Jess," you retorted, voice rising slightly as you narrowed your eyes at her. "You don't need to be an asshole about it." Your face felt hot with anger, but suddenly it shifted and you knew if you weren't careful you were going to start crying. "I just don't want to be treated the same as all the others." You scowled, pushing back further emotion, "If what you say is true and things are different with me."

She exhaled heavily, dropping her gaze and stretching out her fingers and opening her palms as a way to calm herself. She took a breath and lifted her head to meet your eyes once more, still speaking tersely, but calmer than you'd been.

"That's why I'm frustrated," she said. "You are very different and I feel very different about you. For you. And I do treat you differently! Do you think I was texting those girls all day? Telling them I miss them. Planning dates. Telling them all my hopes and fears; asking them about theirs? Bringing them to hang out with my friends? And I sure as shit didn't ask them to be my girlfriend."

A wave of guilt rushed over you. Okay, maybe you were still making a sweeping generalization, but you still felt the way you did.

"I'm sorry," you relented slightly, but went on. "I see what you're saying. And I'm trying. But I still can't help it sometimes. I-I don't know. I know you're not who I originally thought you were. But I guess a part of me is still scared. I," you paused, words getting caught in your throat, "I really like you, Jess. And - moments like this make me terrified that I'm just going to get left behind like one of your other girls."

Jessie sighed quietly, dropping her gaze once more as she kicked distractedly at the sidewalk. When she looked back up her eyes were sad, but you could still see the warmth behind them.

"I don't know what to do," she said helplessly. "I can't change the past. I want you to feel confident in us. In me. But I can't undo anything from before. I'm trying to be clear and direct about how important you are to me. I really like you too, and I just wish I knew how to get you to trust me."

You exhaled, your own frustration at your feelings seeping in. "It's not that I don't trust you. I mean, I guess that's hard to believe, but that's really not what's going on," you insisted. "And I understand that you can't change anything from the past. And you shouldn't have to. That's just something I need to get over. It's really just...I don't want to be the same as the other girls."

She watched you quietly as she contemplated. She took a couple of steps towards you, closing the gap and tentatively taking your hands in hers.

"I promise you you're not. And I understand that my reputation has made trust a bit more difficult. But, I really, really need you to know that this - and you - are special to me." She nodded as she continued. "You're right - I probably shouldn't have brought you to the same spot I brought other girls. Especially given," she looked away briefly, "what I'd do with them there. I can see now that was not the wisest. I really wasn't thinking that way - I just wanted to be alone with you and knew we could be there."

You sighed softly and removed your hands from hers to wrap them around her back, pulling her into a hug. She squeezed you tightly and kissed the side of your head.

"Thank you. I know you didn't mean anything negative. I just...I got in my head. But, yeah, if you can try to be more mindful of things like that, I'll work on not reacting so impulsively."

"Deal," she chuckled. She pulled back enough for you to see the way she cocked an eyebrow at you playfully. You weren't sure where she was going with this, but you were grateful for the sudden levity and the forgiveness it implied. "And for the record, it's not just all sunshine and rainbows on my end either, you know." She smirked at you and continued.

"Despite my bravado, there's a certain level of insecurity that comes with having the history I do and now meeting this incredible woman and wanting something serious and long-term with her. A no-strings-attached lifestyle is easy breezy - you don't get invested and you don't get hurt. But with you? I don't want to disappoint you. And you can definitely hurt me. I'm not used to that."

You searched her face as she finished speaking and warmth radiated throughout your chest. You kissed her and another wave of affection rushed through you as she squeezed you securely against her.

"I didn't mean to disrespect you at all. I'm really sorry," she said quietly as your kiss ended and she tucked her head against yours.

You pulled back to look at her. Her dark eyes were soft and shimmering and you laid a single kiss on her lips.

"Come with me," you said as you took her by the hand and led her back to the stairwell. You bit back a laugh at the curious smirk on her face as she allowed you to maneuver her against the wall. You smiled as her eyes slowly fell shut as you leaned in to kiss her.

"Guess this means you aren't too mad at me?" She muttered jokingly into the kiss. A crooked grin crossed your lips as you gently grasped her chin and had her meet your gaze.

"You're forgiven," you said with teasing benevolence before arching an eyebrow. "But don't push your luck." She chuckled and shook her head with a smile.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

You grinned as you engaged her a deep, slow kiss, this time your hands sneaking under her shirt and splaying out across her abs. A spark of satisfaction flared and you had to hold back a fuller smile as you felt her breath hitch and the faintest moan escaped her throat.

"I like you so much," you whispered as you began to trail kisses down her neck, noting the way her fingers dug into your waist.

"I like you a lot too," she said with a breathy laugh. You fought back a grin as you pressed your thigh between hers and ground up into her.

"Oh shit," she said, still breathless, another laugh in awe. You got the impression the tables weren't typically turned on her like this. You continued, your hand now toying with the button on her pants. She let out another soft moan. "Fuck, you're getting me so hot."

You smiled smugly as you nipped at her neck.

"Good," you said simply as you pulled back entirely, breaking off all contact and loving how her hands stretched out to follow you and only falling away as you stepped out of reach.

You saw the tiniest, cutest frown form across her forehead as her eyes fluttered open in confusion.

"Call me later?" You asked sweetly with a flirtatious shrug, already turning on your heel and heading for the door.

"Wait, what?" She called after you, her confusion evident in her voice.

You stepped through the door, but turned back to give her an innocent smile. She stared after you like a lost puppy. "We're even now. Call me later, baby."

She belatedly opened her mouth to speak, but you simply blew her a kiss and let the door fall shut.

And call you she did. In fact, when you woke up the next morning you had a text from her in the middle of the night.

"I can't even sleep because I'm still thinking about the stairwell. Nobody's ever made me feel like this. I feel like I'm drunk on you lol. I know that's stupid. But. I can't stop thinking about you."

-----------

You slung your bag over your shoulder and scrolled through your phone as you began to exit your class. You walked head down into the masses of students until someone brushed against your arm and fell into step with you.

"How was class?"

You frowned, puzzled momentarily until your brain caught up and a smile crossed your face at who it was.

"Well hello," you greeted as you gently pushed your shoulder into her, jostling her.

"Hey baby," she greeted with a winning smile as she held out a coffee for you.

"Now this is service," you teased as you took it.

"Only the best for my girl," she said with a wink.

"Is your class cancelled or something?" You asked, knowing her next class was in an entirely different building across campus.

"No, but my last one got out early. Thought I'd surprise you with a coffee," she said, obviously very pleased with herself.

"You're the sweetest," you said as you leaned over mid-step to kiss her cheek. She smiled.

"Don't tell anyone."

You rolled your eyes fondly. "Yeah, everyone thinks you're such a jerk."

"You did," she quipped.

"I didn't think you were a jerk," you responded haughtily. "Just a thoughtless womanizer," you chuckled.

"Oh, well thank you for clarifying," she replied dryly with an eye roll of her own as she laced her fingers with yours. "Well now that you know I'm not a total deviant, want to come out for drinks tonight? Mia's back so we're all getting together."

"Sure," you responded lightly as you gave her hand a squeeze.

"Okay, great," she said before leaning over and kissing your cheek before stepping away, walking backwards towards another hall. "See you tonight." She gave you another wink. "Don't miss me too much until then."

That evening you were in a crowded dorm room, solo cup in hand, the bass of some song underlining conversations throughout the space. Mia stood across from you.

"Glad I got a chance to chat with you more. I knew I had to get to know you better because you have got our girl swooning," she teased with a smirk.

"Oh my gosh, not at all," you dismissed though you averted your gaze and felt a blush coming on. Mia laughed heartily and cocked an eyebrow.

"No, no. I've never seen Jess like this before. She used to make fun of other girls for being all lovesick, but now she's even worse than them. Though don't tell her that," she laughed, "she thinks she's being all nonchalant and cool about it."

Your head buzzed with excitement over Mia's words. The extra validation cemented your growing confidence in how significant this connection really was to Jessie. You couldn't help but direct your gaze away from Mia in search of the girl in question. You caught her eye across the room and flashed a smile with a quick wink. You watched as she excused herself from her conversation and began to weave through the crowd.

"Hey, you good?" She asked quietly as she approached, laying a hand on your arm as she kissed your temple. You gave her a quiet smile, holding her gaze.

"Yeah, I'm good."

You didn't think you held her eye contact that long, but your attention and Jessie's was drawn towards Mia as she laughed. She shook her head in amusement.

"Okay, later lovebirds," she deadpanned as she held up her drink in a 'cheers' and walked away.

"I trust Mia was treating you well?" Jessie asked as her eyes followed Mia momentarily while chuckling.

"Of course," you replied with a cheeky grin. "She took great care of me."

"Hopefully not too great," she teased. Your jaw dropped, scandalized though you laughed.

"You're not serious. You. Jessie Fleming. Get jealous?" You asked, eyes bright with amusement as you felt a fluttering in your stomach.

Jessie made a face and laughed, though you could easily see the way her cheeks grew flush. She eventually shrugged.

"Hey, what can I say? I know my teammates are awesome and you're an incredible girl, you can have your pick."

You rolled your eyes. "You're being silly," you said as you gave her an affectionate smile. She held up her hands with charming smirk.

"Just saying. I'm not taking what we have for granted. You don't have to pick me."

You 'tsked' her, arms folded. "Well. I do," you replied, shoulder back and head held high. "So you can relax."

Jessie leaned in, placing a hand on your waist as she kissed your cheek. Her breath tickled your skin. "Well, consider me beyond pleased."

You held her gaze again. Suddenly, there were too many people around. You were overwhelmed with a need to be close to her. Alone with her.

"How's your night going?" You asked, spurring a curious frown from her.

"Fine? Good?" She answered with a soft laugh. "Yours?"

You shrugged lightly. "Nice." You cocked your head as you glanced away purposefully. "Could be better."

"Oh?" She asked. "How so?

You reached out and smoothed out the shoulder of her shirt before playing with the collar.

"It's just starting to feel a little crowded in here," you said with flippant lament. You sighed quietly, but in exaggeration as she processed your words. She cracked a smile.

"Yeah? Is that so?" She asked, chin tilting up slightly as she studied you. She glanced towards the door. "I mean, we could always go."

"Oh I wouldn't want to force you to leave," you relayed sweetly and she gave you a wicked grin.

"Yeah, you're really forcing my hand here," she said flatly. You looked her up and down with a smirk of your own.

"I can find some other things for your hand to do."

Her eyes grew wide for a moment and her mouth fell open at your brazen comment. She eventually closed her mouth, now giving you a less than subtle once over.

"It's not nice to tease," she warned.

"Who's teasing?" You asked innocently while locking eyes with her.

She puffed her cheeks out in an exhale, gaze flitting across the room with an appreciative shake of her head that left you holding back a smug smile. She reached out to lace her fingers with yours, her thumb teasing the palm of your hand.

"Well, are you going to let me take you home or what?" She whispered. You raised both eyebrows at her and clicked your tongue.

"I believe you'll be coming home with me," you retorted playfully. "If anyone's going to be burdened with the walk of shame, it's going to be you." You shrugged. "This time anyway."

She laughed, loud enough that it even attracted the attention of couple of people in adjacent conversations. She sniffed with a residual chuckle and nodded. "Sure. I'll shoulder that responsibility."

On the walk to your building she asked if you should stop at her room to grab, any, you know, supplies. You didn't break your pace at all and simply responded with, "No. I want you now."

She grinned like a Cheshire cat, placing a hand on the small of your back and increased her strides, pulling you along too. "Well then let's not waste any more time."

You'd texted your roommate on the way back and was grateful to see she'd vacated the premises by the time you stepped inside. You'd given her space many times, so it was her turn to return the favour.

You'd barely closed the door when a lighthearted yelp escaped your throat as Jessie spun you around and lifted you off the ground, pressing your back against the door. Her lips immediately latched onto your neck as your arms and legs wrapped around her.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I've wanted you," she breathed into your neck as she nipped and sucked at the skin there harder than she'd ever done before and it immediately had your core pulsing.

Something between a gasp and a moan left your mouth as you ran one hand through her hair, pressing her mouth further against your neck and she moaned into you while digging her fingers harder into the underside of your thighs.

Both of you were too hungry to take your time, so it wasn't long before she carried you to the bed, lips still locked as she laid you down.

Your hands were under her shirt and she chuckled as she sat up and took it off, tossing it carelessly to the floor.

"Now you," she said with a lustful grin as her hands wandered below your shirt and pushed it upwards. You arched your back off the bed and she reached around to help support you while she peeled your shirt off with her other hand. She was still discarding the garment when she leaned down to begin laying teasing kisses down your chest to your bra. Her hand was on the clasp of your bra and you chuckled as she unclasped it with ease, drawing the straps down off of your shoulders with her teeth.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," she said in awe as she sat back again to take in your half-naked image in the dim of the room.

A small cry left your lips as she dipped her head back down and drew one of your nipples into her mouth, her teeth grazing as she released it before latching on again and swirling her tongue around the hardened nipple. You set both hands on the back of her head, fingers partially digging into her scalp in appreciation as she attentively explored you.

She switched nipples and her hand caressed up the outside of your thigh and grabbed your ass through your jeans, kneading firmly and hungrily as she moaned into your breast.

You grasped her other hand and guided it between your bodies, your own hand undoing the button of your jeans.

“You’re sure?” She asked, pausing despite your invitation. You rolled your hips up into her waiting hand and continued to guide her.

She took over, unzipping and pushing her hand down towards your core. Her fingers pressed firmly across your folds through the fabric of your underwear. Your jaw fell as her fingers indirectly grazed your clit.

She moaned. "I can already feel how wet you are," she said in wonder and her tone assured you she was more than pleased by this.

She pushed your panties aside, her fingers caressing through your slick folds for the first time and you immediately groaned in pleasure and rolled your hips up into her eager hand.

"You feel so fucking amazing already," she said, head lolling to the side momentarily before she began kissing her way down your torso. You tried not to whine as she removed her hand long enough to remove your jeans.

"You're going to get sick of me telling you how gorgeous you are," she said as she nipped at your underwear, tugging them down teasingly with her teeth. She hooked her fingers into the band but you stopped her temporarily.

"I want your clothes off, too," you told her in a way that left no room for debate. She snickered before pushing herself up off of you and shimmying off her clothes.

"Anything for you," she joked as she returned her attention to you, her lips laying fleeting kisses along the crease between your thighs and core. You heard her chuckle as your legs grew restless, rubbing against the sheets. She reached up and rubbed teasing circles around your nub through your panties.

"Please," you said simply.

"Please what?" She asked innocently and you could hear the smile in her voice before her tongue made contact with your skin, eliciting a gasp out of you.

You writhed beneath her. Even though this was brand new territory for you two, you felt safe expressing yourself.

"I need you," you answered, trusting that it would be well received and not feeling embarrassed or self-conscious in your saying so.

You heard a satisfied grunt from her and you drew your legs back eager to help her remove your panties. You bit your lower lip at the tender kiss she planted on your hip bone.

She began to kiss her way down your mound and although you really just wanted her to fuck you, to feel her fingers inside of you, you figured you'd waited this long, might as well let her set the pace.

Her lips brushed along your folds as she settled herself between your legs and that was enough to send a pulse through your core, but you absolutely throbbed as her fingers dug into the tops of your thighs and she pulled herself closer with an eager moan.

You were honestly contemplating begging her to not tease you any longer when her tongue began to trail up and down between your folds, your back bucking off the bed at the sudden sensations coursing through you.

You heard a muffled laugh from between your legs but before you could protest she began lapping up juices that were surely dripping from your core. Despite your intentions your back arched once more and you gripped the sheets tightly in her hands.

"Don't worry, baby," she said, "I'll take good care of you."

You fleetingly considered scolding her for her bravado, but she flicked her tongue upwards and over your clit before latching onto it with her mouth and sucking in a rhythm that urged your hips to roll up into her face further.

You could feel her smiling into you and she was entirely undeterred by your bucking and moving, confidently and easily keeping her mouth centered on you wherever your body took you.

She sucked, licked, and nipped at you in such a skilled way you'd never experienced before. You'd thought you'd had good sex before; evidently you were wrong.

To top it off, the way she moaned and chased you up the bed with a blatant hunger made you feel wanted and desired in a way you'd never felt before either. The way she devoured you, muffled moans sending pleasurable vibrations through your core, head rocking into you and lapping at you as though you were the most delicious thing she'd had made you feel like she'd never wanted anything more.

And when she reached out and laced her fingers of one hand with yours? Your heart melted.

It was blissful in so many ways.

You hadn't even realized she'd removed her other hand from your thigh when you felt her tease your entrance with a finger. A shuddering moan fell from your lips as she gently dipped a digit inside. You threw your head back into the mattress, back arching all over again as she began slipping a second finger inside, stretching you out deliciously as she continued to flick her tongue across your clit.

Her fingers felt just as good inside of you as you'd imagined and before you knew it she was curling her fingers up against your g-spot. You let out a low moan and your hips began rocking against her with greater fervour. She gave your hand a squeeze and you just held on for dear life, clutching her hand as if it was the only anchor holding you here. You reached down with your free hand and gripped her hair, pulling another pleased noise from her.

The pressure building between your core reached a tipping point. You don't even know how many strokes she'd taken - not many at all - when your cries and whimpers got caught in your throat, mouth drawn into a silent 'o' as your hips began to jerk against her as the tension deep inside of you burst. Your sounds eventually caught up with you as several seconds later you finally mustered a cry as you were already well soaking her face.

She stayed with you the whole time, continuing to help you ride out your orgasm and slowing her motions as you gradually came down.

As you fell back into the bed, your limbs and entire body felt so heavy. It's not like you two had been at it for all that long, but you felt so spent. Even as she began to tenderly kiss her way up your body, you couldn't muster up the energy to caress or hold her. You couldn't even open your eyes.

"You are so incredibly beautiful," she whispered into your ear as she settled herself against you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close.

You still couldn't make a noise or embrace her, you simply let her pull you against her.

"You're incredible. And that was so amazing. I-," she paused. "You're so sexy. All of that is going to be engrained in my mind for a long, long time."

You let your head fall to the side and against hers. She chuckled and kissed your forehead and you became aware of how she was gently thumbing your shoulder as she held you.

"Fuck," you eventually said. You heard her hold back a laugh and you finally opened your eyes to look at her. Her eyes were bright and shimmering as she looked down at you. A lazy, crooked smile crossed your lips as you reached up and pushed her face away playfully. "You are way too pleased with yourself right now," you laughed.

"I'm not!" She protested though she laughed. "I'm just- I'm really happy," she eventually said.

"Yeah?" You chuckled as you pulled her closer and she gladly obliged. You tucked your head under her chin. "Well that makes two of us," you laughed and she kissed the top of your head. You sighed contentedly. "Well now I know what all the fuss is about."

Your eyes opened as you felt her stiffen slightly. She shifted, clearing her throat quietly.

"Hey," was all she said, probably meant to be teasing or warning, but sounding sad instead.

You pulled back to look at her. It was true, the bright, warm smile she'd worn was now faint as she looked back at you. You kissed her softly.

"I'm sorry. I thought it was a funny joke. Not appropriate," you said.

"I just want it to be about us," she said quietly as her gaze fell as she drew small, distracted designs on your collarbone with her finger.

"I know," you agreed in the same tone as you placed a hand on hers and caressed the back of it with your thumb. She kissed your cheek. "Me too. I just - you're good. Extraordinarily good. And, well, the fact fleeting crosses my mind that, you know, how do you get so good? Well, practice makes perfect. So..."

Jessie huffed inaudibly, but you felt the air tickle your skin.

"I know we talked about this," you rushed on. "And I'm not upset. Honestly." You chuckled, hoping to lighten things. "I mean, I'm reaping the benefits here." She cracked a faint smirk, but not exactly what you hoped to see. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's okay," she relented as she kissed your cheek once more with a soft sigh. "Just as long as you know you're the only one I want."

You nodded, but she must not have been convinced because she carried on.

"Because, if it was anyone else, I would've been down the stairs and out of the building by now. And," she punctuated, "-not that I should say anything- but, I typically don't get undressed. I'm not looking for intimacy or anything like that. But, I want that with you."

You held a hand up to her cheek and ran your thumb softly against her cheekbone.

"And? Do you have that with me?"

She nodded, leaning her head into your palm.

"Yeah. And it's," she trailed off, her gaze falling briefly as she smirked at herself. She looked up at you again. "It's really great."

You held her gaze and inhaled. Your head was swimming with all sorts of thoughts and feelings. A particular set of words sat on the tip of your tongue. She must've noticed.

"What?" She asked with a tender smile. You considered dismissing it, but instead you just gave a gentle shake of your head.

"I'm falling very hard for you, Jessie Fleming."

Her eyes lit up and you watched as she searched yours. In this moment, this woman who was all charm and confidence looked exceedingly vulnerable.

"That's not funny to joke about," she eventually said with a forced smirk and a single, faint laugh.

"Who says I'm joking?" You asked with a soft laugh.

Realization settled in her and she shifted so she was slightly more on top of you.

"Don't joke," she repeated. You held her gaze, laughing quietly again.

"I'm not."

She rolled you fully onto your back again so she was on top of you. Her knee nudged your legs apart and it any other reality you would've been embarrassed at how your core immediately throbbed.

She looked down at you, eyes different than any way you'd seen them before. Darker somehow. But it didn't scare you. It made you want her more.

"You're everything I wanted," she said. "And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that first day in class." She subtly began to rock against you and your hands began to wander along her back.

"Everybody told me what this was supposed to feel like, but it just never clicked for me before. At all. But," she took a short, stuttered breath as she continued to grind against you and her hand began to travel down your torso. "You have me. You're on my mind all the time. Any time I'm away from you, I'm just reliving past conversations and moment or dreaming up new ones."

She shook her head in mild disbelief. "I've never felt this way," she said as her hand settled between your legs. You were certain there was no way she couldn't feel the heat radiating off of you. And somehow, with every declaration from her you grew wetter and wetter.

"Me neither," you told her. She smiled and ran two fingers through your folds to then tease your entrance - immediately confirming how wet you were - her eyes lit up and her smile turned into a grin.

"You are so gorgeous. And so fucking amazing," she told you in reverie.

Your exhale was unsteady as your center throbbed in want. "Jess," you said; panted even. "I need you."

A sharp gasp escaped you as she slowly sunk two fingers inside of you. Your fingers dug into her skin at how amazing it felt to be filled up by her again. When you opened your eyes once more she was still watching you intently.

"You feel so fucking good," she said, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Mm," she glanced down, slowly drawing her fingers out until they rest at your entrance before pushing in again more swiftly. "So fucking tight."

"Jesus Christ," you said as your hands came to her arms and you clutched them while your head rolled back into the pillow.

"I want you cumming all over my fingers," she told you with quiet assuredness. "Not just tonight. Any and every fucking night you'll let me," she said as she tucked her head down and began to kiss your neck, drawing a shuddering whimper out of you.

"Oh Jess," you moaned as your hips ground into her waiting hand. A shiver ran through you as she breathed against your neck and nipped at you.

"My name sounds so good coming out of your mouth," she praised.

If you had any kind of witty quip, it was immediately extinguished as she began to pump fully and steadily in and out of your hot, wet tunnel. A heady moan worked its way up your throat as she curled her fingers inside of you like earlier, each stroke sending a pulse through you.

You wrapped your legs around her and she began to thrust into you, using her hips to push her fingers deeper and harder into you.

"You look so good underneath me. You're so beautiful," she said as she continued to fuck you and it wasn't long until you could feel your wetness dripping down you and onto the sheets.

You were never overly vocal in bed, especially given the dorm situation and neighbours. But the way her thumb teased your clit and the way her fingers filled you with each stroke, your voice resounded off of the walls of your dorm.

Soon you could feel your core tightening much as it did earlier. You clenched around her fingers as she panted above you. You didn't need to tell her you were close; she fucked you steadily, carrying you over the threshold. Your whole body stiffened, fingers digging sharply into her skin as she groaned in response as you began to convulse around her fingers.

"God, you are so gorgeous cumming in my arms like this," she declared as she continued to pump in and out of you, slowing only when you began to grow slack in her embrace.

"Holy fuck," you eventually panted. She was laying slow, tender kisses along your shoulder as she waited you out.

"Your roommate's not coming back tonight, is she?" She asked.

"No," you said and she cracked a salacious grin.

"Good."

-------

The next morning you awoke. You inadvertently groaned as you shifted. Your body was exhausted. The memories of last night flooded your mind and you glanced over only to see the space next to you unoccupied.

You sat up immediately and your eyes scanned the room for any evidence of Jessie. Her shoes were gone, her clothes. You sat up further as your heart began to thump loudly in your chest and confusion settled over you.

You shook your head with a frown. No. This didn't make sense. Not after everything.

You reached over to grab your phone. As you did, you spied a sticky note on your bedside table.

"I'm a morning person. What can I say! I'm getting us coffee and croissants. I'll be back soon. - J"

The lump in your throat immediately subsided and you released a breath you hadn't known you were holding. You opened your phone to see a text from her as well.

"Just in case you missed the note. I'm getting coffee and croissants. Be back soon, Beautiful."

You laid back on the bed, pulling the sheets up with you and letting out another sigh as your body relaxed once more.

Okay. This made much more sense. It wasn't all a lie.

A short while later you heard the door handle turn and the door was tentatively pushed open a crack. You found yourself smiling immediately as she tip-toed in, her straightening and smiling fully when she saw you were awake.

"Good morning," she greeted as she approached with said coffee and baked goods in hand.

"You're lucky, Fleming," you teased as you rolled onto your side as she set everything down. "I was about to lose it until I saw your note."

Jessie gave you a teasing look as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She spoke, unbothered, "Waking up next to a beautiful woman who I think is amazing? Yeah, I am lucky."

You chuckled as she kissed your forehead. "Well, I didn't get that luxury. Just a cold and lonely bed," you teased.

"I get antsy once I'm up. I didn't want to wake you," she explained. You pulled her in for a kiss.

"Fine. I forgive you."

Jessie smiled, returning your kiss. "Thank you. And, mmm, morning breath."

"Oh my God," you gasped, mortified as you swatted at her, only causing her to laugh. She leaned back in, pushing you down onto the bed with a kiss.

"Hey, I don't mind. I want you, morning breath and all," she chuckled.

"You better," you grumbled good-naturedly as she continued to kiss you. Her hand began to wander and you knew very well what she'd find.

"Mm, and it seems like you want me, too," she grinned. You chuckled, but rolled your hips into her hand.

"Coffee's not the only way to wake me up."

[livingformintyoongi]

BTS fic recs

I wanted to do this a while ago, but felt like I hadn't read enough, until I checked my likes and got a shock to the face lol. I wanted to give some recommendations of some fics (and a series) that I quite enjoyed reading, plus leave a small review because I feel like it's very underrated to comment on what you like something (people, comment more, I swear it makes a writer feel so much better than a like). There's the occasional spoiler in the reviews, so I recommend you read it carefully or just skip the comment ^^.

Dawning by @wintaerbaer JJK

summary: He’s never invited into your world during these late night sessions. You always push him away or ignore him. This is new. warnings: heavy depictions of depression and panic attacks, a brief line where taehyung worries oc is s**cidal. I really loved this fic. For a moment I thought it was some kind of two shot or something, but it only has this one part. Still, I felt the author captured the emotions very well. It felt so realistic that even I was worried when Y/N disappeared lol.

Bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer KTH

summary: Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep. warnings: language, a short harassment scene at the beginning (nothing too intense), explicit content including: unprotected sex (DO NOT), fingering, praise kink, biting, marking, spanking, cum eating (sort of?), big cawk soft dom jk, cowgirl (yeehaw), creampie, cockwarming. This fic made me remember why I love the exes to lovers trope. I loved seeing Jungkook as a tattoo artist, it's like, I don't know, so him, anyway, I loved it. I just found this account yesterday in the wee hours of the morning and I'm already loving it <3.

Cat-astrophe & Cat-enaries by @dumpywrites MYG

Summary: Your pet cat keeps going to your neighbor’s apartment and it’s a problem.  I fell in love with this Yoongi like you have no idea. When I just read the first part I was so eager to keep reading, seriously, I loved it, it deserves so much love.

Two Days by @dumpywrites JJK

Summary: He just wants you to give him two days. He'll take you on a few dates and you'll decided if you actually like him? Or not? I live for Jungkook being simp of the reader, I feel it's so real lol. This fic made me feel so warm inside, it was too cute to read. It's kind of like my comfort fic.

S'more than friends by @borathae MYG

Warnings: subby!Yoongi, switchy!Reader, consumption of beer, so much awkward tension, jealousy, sex in a tent, mutual masturbation, handjob, fingering, making out aye, Yoongi loves her boobs and she loves his butt it’s a win-win, sex while other people are sleeping, public sex, she has a thing for his hands (but what’s new lmao), fluffy post-orgasm talks because I’m soft. I read it a while ago now, but I remember when I did I felt so soft. This Yoongi is just too cute.

Please don't go by @httpjungkookcom JJK

Summary | Jungkook’s never kept anything from you, ever. Not even the time where he tripped and accidentally kicked your dog, or when he fucked the most popular girl in high school and couldn’t make himself cum (poor guy was embarrassed for weeks), or when he accidentally rubbed all of his acceptance letters in your face without realizing. To put it short, Jungkook is an open book to you. So when he suddenly disappears, there’s a lot to question. Even more to question when he finally gets back and won’t tell you anything, going as far to avoid you. You’re on a mission to figure it out, even if it kills you. Index | Jungkook is so smart, but so stupid at the same time. Jungkook is not sly in the slightest. Kind of angst, fighting, arguing, bickering, etc. Criminal activity, it’s a Spider-Man fic. Injuries and mention of blood. College setting and age, reader and Kook share the same major. Some cute fluffy moments in between all of the action. Aunt Yoon is essentially Aunt May in the Marvel story line.  Spiderkook, is more needed to read this fic? It was the first one I read about this au and I was WONDERED. God, you can't imagine how much I loved it. I thought it was so cute the way Jk approached reader being in his suit….

Accidental roommates by @jjkeverlast JJK

summary: moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace. yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate. warnings: second hand embarrassment | jungkook's abs | annoying antics | suppressed feelings | both of them are stubborn and petty (it's gets tiring lmfao) | mentions of past relationships | a lot of time stamps | sexual tension | ft. namjoon 👀 | !constant change of perspective between reader and jungkook. I have a tremendous weakness with dilf, no matter who it is, I just love them. I think this was the first one I read by Jungkook. It was so fun and easy to read that the 14.7k words flew by for me.

Silk & Stones by @taegularities KTH

Summary: “Taehyung was a writer… he was a writer indeed.” Kim Taehyung knows his way around words – they cast a spell on your heart and mind, leave you gasping dangerously fast. Until the mystery behind his persona unveils and his touch, along with his words, becomes a vivid memory. warnings: writer + violinist tae 🥺 who’s a gentleman in the 19th century, brief mention of injuries/a mental institution, misunderstandings, heartbreak, secrets, grief, much poetry (and my attempt at writing a poem, pls spot), much disgoosting fluff, flirting and lots of sexual tension; explicit sexual content: 2 sex(y) scenes, fingering on a boat, choking, teasing, begging, praising, soft dom!tae, big dick!tae, tiddie fondling/sucking, some manhandling, dirty talk, they’re just so cute :((, oral (f. and m. receiving), some masturbation, oc is into neck kisses, some biting, fingering, hair pulling, asking for permission :(, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (it’s the 19th century...), aftercare; there’s quite some angst ok; lmk if i forgot smth !! This was a work of art for me. I felt so immersed in the story, so confused by the time changes and everything surrounding Taehyung, but I loved it, one of the best stories I've read of Taehyung since I joined tumblr.

17 going on 27 by @hansolmates JJK

summary; one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken. genre/warnings; fluff, crack, future enemies to lovers, teenage and adulthood angst, time skips from high school!au to late twenties!au, 13 going on 30!au, all your romantic movie tropes come to life! a really big mess honestly, various movie and music references, mentions of sex, use of alcohol, everyone give jin and jimin a big ol hug, language, a surprise guest from the queen of england. I love adaptations, especially ones that add their own touch, and the writer did it so well. She made me hate Jungkook, and then love him, and then hate him again, in the end I ended up resenting him, I wanted reader to stay with Jin lol, but I still loved it. Definitely my favorite part was having Jimin as a best friend, I loved watching him take on Jungkook in the car. We all need a friend like him.

Hot Bot by @httpjeon JJK/PJM/KTH/JHS

JJK: You order a sex robot online after getting a coupon for half off. however, there’s something strange about yours. PJM: Fear is primal and causes one to make stupid decisions. KTH: Your parents have a gift for you, however, there’s been a mistake. JHS: As a product tester, you have one of the most sought after temporary positions in Hot Bot Inc. This is a series that has smut, I think the name gives it away. It's rather sad that the writer is on hiatus, but he left the gems of his works open to the public. The series is pretty good, I fell in love with Jungkook (and Yoongi kskjdsksjds). Highly recommended.

The proposal by @hansolmates JJK

summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always. I was looking for an adaptation of this movie for so long that when I found this one I almost cried with emotion. I LOVED the movie and the concept it had, and I was so happy to read this fic that captures that very romcom essence that the movie has. I loved it.

Marshmallows and report cards by @untaemedqueen KTH

Warnings: Impreg Kink, Marking, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Birthday Sex, Spitting, Begging, Praise, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Big Dick!Tae, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex, Possessive!Tae, Cock Warming, Creampie. I already confessed, this kind of fics get to me. I remember reading it and melting with the ending. I read it a long time ago, so I can't give a longer opinion, but I do remember that I loved it and came out internally squealing after I finished it.

Orange tulips by @kainks JJK

Summary: You’d remember Jungkook with every life you lived. Only he’d never remember you, never recall how your fates were written in the stars since the beginning of time. Genre: Angst. Fluff. Light Smut. The anxiety and helplessness I felt reading this fic are on another level. This scarred me, I read it once and I was never the same person again. It was wonderful, I felt so many things and I was so nervous during the whole reading that I almost didn't even realize when it was over. It is a very enjoyable fic.

What if I love you too much? by @taleasnewastime

Summary: Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself. Warnings: Single mum, small fights, explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), safe penetrative sex, reader thinks Jungkook is cheating/playing the field, angst, but also fluff, child gets injured (though not seriously), talks of cuts and a small amount of blood. This fic left me feeling bad, it even made me question some future decisions regarding my relationship with my future partner and the necessary communication that must be had in a relationship from the beginning, especially if there is a child in the middle. It was something I really enjoyed reading, and even though I had my internal dilemmas with Jungkook, the drabbles in the story helped me a lot to let go of my grudge (I swear I have nothing personal with him sksjkajskajsj).

[slaaverin]

its so funny 99% of time Jimin comes out of that room clean as a canvas while JK appears with scratches and bites and hickeys and God knows what else 😭😭😭😭

*cough* Service top and bratty bottom *cough* lmao

No I'm joking more seriously who knows what these two have been getting up to

Once thing is certain: THEY'RE WILD 😂🫡

Jimin claimed JK's body that's for sure, with marks but also by writing his own name on it. We. get. it. Can he stop rubbing it in our faces? Lol (I secretely love it)

Ah, younglings 🫠 so cute

[taestefully-in-luv]

Our Time | JJK (Seven)

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Word Count: 12.4k

Warnings: seriously depressing (for now) swearing, mentions of alcoholism, allusions to cheating

a/n: Hiiiiiii, long time no see!! Sorry for the delay and thank you for waiting. This story is at a depressing point (lol) so forgive me! I hope you guys can enjoy this chapter too 🥺 Well, I hope you guys enjoy and  please let me know what you think! Send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat :]

Previous --- Next

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An eternity has passed since you’ve last seen Jungkook…a total of six weeks. Each day has gotten equally harder as it has gotten easier. You think it’s just your body slowly getting used to his absence but your mind is yearning. Yearning and hurting.

But there is something that’s also painful like missing your ex-husband—your best friend—and it’s the videos of your life. A life you know nothing of. 

If you thought pictures were hard, videos are much harder.

But you asked for this. You asked your parents and your friends to send you old pictures and videos of times you don’t remember living.

You’re seeing pictures of you and your friends in restaurants you don’t know. Bars you don’t know. Concerts for artists you don’t know. Pictures of you in your bedroom, but it’s a bedroom you don’t know. 

You have haircuts and styles you don’t know.

In the videos, you hear yourself laughing at inside jokes you don’t know. You’re using vocab and slang you don’t know. You see yourself giggling and joking around with people you. don’t. know. And you feel more like an outsider than ever. Not just to this world but to the girl you see on screen, you are an outsider to herworld. 

Perhaps you’ve gotten too use to separating your different selves. And perhaps that makes it harder to unite with them.

Past you is current you but current you thinks of current you as future you. 

It’s all a headache to think about. 

You know they’re all you but because you’ve kept them separate, it’s somehow becoming the shackles that stops all the you’s from uniting. 

And that’s what needs to happen for all of your memories to return. You have to unite 24 year old you and 33 year old you. It’s only your sanity on the line.

Now that you’ve discovered a couple of things, the only way to go from here is to intentionally spark your memories—in any way. You have to. Because you know 33 year old you has started something...

You quickly tear your eyes from the video on screen to take a quick peak towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. You’ve visited the attic a few times because of all of the memories that are stored in there.

But those boxes are filled with more than just memories.

Your eyes go back to your phone in hand as your thumb hesitantly hovers over the screen. You know you should move on to another video but it almost feels like you don’t have it in you. You don’t have it in you to stop listening to the sound of your child’s laughter when you can’t recognize it.

You don’t have it in you to stop the possibility of triggering your brain to suddenly remember him. 

You finally force your thumb to the screen and you quickly pause it. You take in a sharp breath before exiting the video to scroll through the five videos your mom sent you. You see Haru in all five. And you can see Jungkook in three of them. You chose one where you couldn’t see Jungkook. 

But this video of Haru’s giggles feels just as heartbreaking but more than anything, it feels frustrating. Because you don’t know him. 

And that feels like an unbearable heartache on its own.

Suddenly, your eyes bounce from the video thumbnails to the text your mom just sent you.

Mom 7:28am

Good morning! We’re our way to the station and should arrive in Seoul around 2pm. You’re still picking us up, right?

You slowly close your already drooping eyes, the moment way too brief before you open them again, glancing towards the living room windows where the obvious sunlight comes through. Another night you didn’t sleep. Your eyes battling your brain. You might get a few hours if you try to sleep now, at the least. 

~

“I just don’t understand how you can drink those all day,” Your mother’s eyes go from the knife in her hand to the iced coffee in yours. “I know it’s got to be giving you heartburn.” She laughs a little while shaking her head, eyes going back down to the cutting board where she chops onions.

You blink at your mom before dropping your eyes to the coffee in your hand, “Wait, is this why?” 

She chuckles again, “Must be from your dads side of the family.” She shrugs now, letting the onions slide off the board and into a pan.

You roll your eyes at your moms playful comment before sliding the coffee away from you as you sit at your kitchen island, “Anyway, dad’s kind of taking a while, no?” You glance around the kitchen as if he would suddenly appear here. 

Your mom smiles to herself while her hands remain busy with cooking dinner, “Yeah, he’s waiting for me to text him saying he can come back from the store.”

You can’t help but snort since you know exactly what she means.

Back when you were a teenager and going through life’s woes that made the whole world feel like it was ending, you would have your meltdowns. Period cramps that made you moody, a friend talking behind your back, the boy you liked was seen kissing someone else. All the things your dad left your mom to handle. He would suddenly want to go to the store and she would somehow signal him when it was safe to return—after the two of you got to talk out whatever was bothering you.

You realize she’s done it now.

“You never used to take this long to tell me what was going on though.” Your mom says quietly, eyes trained on the stove.  “Especially not about Jungkook.” She sighs as she reaches for the wooden spoon before stirring the ingredients. 

You feel something sharp inside your chest, just at the mention of his name, like there’s a sharp knife.

You turn your face to the side, something uncomfortable and electric tightens your jaw. As if it’s a burning signal that even the mere mention of Jungkook, makes you want to cry. But you won’t. “Well, mom.” You take a deep breath before looking towards her again with a sarcastic smile. “Our marriage wasn’t exactly as perfect as you thought.”

You hope this is enough for her to realize that Haru’s disappearance wasn’t the wedge that created such distance between you and your now, ex-husband. 

You stare at the back of your mom’s head as she stands at the stove, still cooking. You wonder if she’s in utter shock at the revelation that perhaps Jungkook isn’t perfect. And your marriage definitely wasn’t. You wait and wait. But you see how she starts adding in a few other things.

“I said—”

“—What marriage is perfect?” Your mom finally turns around, cutting you off with a raised brow. “I never thought that. I’ll never think that. About anyone.” She scoffs before turning towards the stove again. “I told you that you didn’t usually take this long to talk about Jungkook with me.”

You don’t say anything.

Your mom turns her head towards you for a moment, you see the corner of her lip barely start to lift, like a knowing smile wants to form but her frown decides not to budge, “You were married to him for years…you don’t think you’ve come to complain to me?”

You understand her almost smirk now. She faces forward towards the stove again.

“Maybe around six months before Haru’s…incident. You came to Busan and I could tell something was up and you needed to talk.” Your mom rests a hand on her hip, while the other reaches for the stove knob as she turns it down. “But just like now…” She turns her head to eye you again, her worries pulling her lips into a deeper frown. “You took a while to tell me.”

You don’t really react. Not as your brain processes this information.

Your mom continues, “So I know your marriage wasn’t perfect. Jungkook’s not perfect. You’re not perfect.” She exhales through her nose in a half laugh. “I’m not perfect. Your father’s not either. But what’s between us…it has to be protected.” 

“Unless that person betrays you.” You say in a low voice, eyes going to your fingers as you pick at your cuticles. “And you lose your trust in them.”

You hear your mom at the stove again as she turns it off and puts the lid on the pan. After a moment you see your mother in your peripherals as she comes to the other side of the counter and sits next to you. 

“You mentioned something similar back then.” She says quietly, her face looking ahead. “But then I thought…well, that you thought it wasn’t what you thought.”

You quickly turn your head in your moms direction, eyes on hers. What all did you say to her? “Well, it was.” You say firmly. 

Your mom’s eyebrows pull together slowly, something similar to confliction rising in her eyes. “And how exactly did Jungkook betray you?” She asks after a moment.

And it feels pathetic, the feeling of all the muscles in your face betraying your collected appearance. So pathetic that the answer to this question makes your expression twist and break off the cracking mask that is now crumbling and falling from your face. 

It takes less than an instant for your heartbreak to be written all over. 

Your mom puts a hand to your back, letting you cry it out. 

Just like you did when you were a moody teenager and the only one who understood your meltdowns was your mom. She lets you know that once again, that no matter how small or how big—you had every right to feel the way you wanted to. 

You cry, a soft pat repeating on your back as you mumble how sad you are and how embarrassing this is. 

This short cry feels more like relief in the right company rather than something that is rocking your world in the worst way.

Your mom chuckles a little, pulling away from you. “Embarrassing?”

“Yeah.” You nod with a shameless smile and damp cheeks. “I know you know the me that’s been married to him for years but in my eyes we’ve been on one date and he was our neighbor. So I feel like you should be teasing me about us but you’re here with more knowledge about my marriage than me.” You laugh as you cry more, “So it’s a bit embarrassing.”

“Hm,” Your mom chuckles again, “I guess I can understand that.”

You nod while your fingers wipe beneath your eyes repeatedly, they’re only teary now.

Your mom brings her hand away from you, her fingers intertwining on top of the counter. You watch as she stares down at her hands in thought before she finally sighs and turns your way with a small smile. “Talk to me, y/n. You’re convinced Jungkook betrayed you in some way—ways I can only assume—but tell me, do you really think he’s capable of what you’re thinking?”

You study your mother’s expression for a long moment, brows beginning to furrow when you realize she doesn’t buy it. Tearing your eyes away from her, your lips twist in annoyance, “Are you saying I shouldn’t believe in my own memories?”

You hear your mom sigh again, “You remembered something unpleasant, y/n. I’m not saying I don’t believe you…but even back then,” She pauses, hoping you will look at her but you don’t. She finally continues, “Things just didn’t add up…”

You’re quick to find her eye again, “What all did I tell you?”

At this, your mother scoffs lightly, her small smile still on her lips. “Nothing that really made sense. Seemed like you just…couldn’t tell me things. But I’m not dumb, you know? You drop plenty of hints when you get talking.”

“Oh.” You blink at her, wishing you could even remember whatever hints she’s referring to. 

“But the issue is that you stopped talking. You got quiet.” Your mother looks back at her hands again, her gaze hardening. “Then when Haru’s incident happened…you shut us all out. Everyone…” She whispers, lines between her brows forming, a hint of disappointment in her voice that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “Even Jungkook.”

You can’t help but feel that same knife start slicing open the inside of your chest at the mention of his name again. “Probably because it’s his fau—”

“—He lost Haru too, y/n.” Your mom cuts you off, her eyes that are filled with something close to anger land on you. “You both did and what’s worse is that you both lost one another in the process.”

“I don’t remember the process but I’m sure I had a hard time even looking him in the eye.” You spit out. “You don’t know what happ—”

“—Do you?” She throws back at you. “Because you have yet to give me a story that makes even a little sense.”

Your heart starts screaming like someone just squeezed it way too hard. You force yourself to look away because tears that no one invited start to form. You feel done with this conversation but before you can announce its over, your mom sighs again and her palm rests against your back and you don’t have it in you to shove her off.

“I’m sorry.” She mutters softly, almost sounding regretful. “I am. You have no idea…” You feel her hand slowly retreat from your back, “How sometimes I would just pray you wouldn’t get your memories back. So you wouldn’t…” 

Your mother’s voice grows much softer, almost too quiet to hear. 

“Seeing you heartbroken all over again hurts us, y/n. I thought it would be easier…for you. But I guess it’s just easier for us.” She admits, a sharpness in her tone that indicates her regret. “There’s no way you would live happier if parts of you felt missing.” 

You feel her words stick to your skin uncomfortably, like sweat from the hot sun rather than a run you worked for. It’s unpleasant but also unwelcomed. 

Unwelcomed because you don’t want to accept a life where that could be the case—forced to live a life even with parts of you missing.

An uncomfortable reality and possibility.

“More than…” You begin, hands lifting to gesture towards nothing. “This is more than just Jungkook.”

Your mom chuckles to herself. “Of course I know that.”

“I’m starting to wonder what would feel worse,” You glance towards your empty hands before your fingers clutch nothing softly. “Remembering my child. Or not remembering my child.” Then your lips curl into a half smile that feels so empty as you silently cringe toward yourself, “It doesn’t even feel right saying ‘my’…” you immediately halt, teeth suddenly piercing into your bottom lip. You don’t even feel right calling Haru ‘your’ child. Because you don’t feel like his mother.

You try to keep the half smile plastered on your face but the sharp shock of tears that fill your eyes betray your wants. You quickly blink them away.

“I want to hate Jungkook so bad for so many reasons,” You admit before clearing your throat, “But I mostly hate him because at least he would recognize our sons laugh while I don’t. I hate him because I blame him but at least he knows the kid that I hate him for.” 

Also an uncomfortable reality. 

“Well,” Your mothers tone lets you know she’s about to change the subject. “You had a doctor’s appointment recently, right? How did it go?”

You shake your head, “He said the progress can be really slow…and that it’s normal for the brain to block out certain traumatic events. So much…” You pause.

“So much what?”

You sigh, “So much doesn’t make sense. It has me feeling so restless.”

“I’m sorry.” Your mom releases a shaky breathy before you hear her voice crack. “I’m so sorry.”

“You know what’s the worst part?” You decide to keep the venting session going. “I just feel ashamed. I’m a parent but I don’t even know about it. I feel so lost. I don’t think if I was given a child I could—”

“This doesn’t make you less of a mother, y/n.” Your mom snaps her eyes in your direction, a fierceness in them. “You are still a parent. A damn good one at that.”

You study your mother’s expression with a fondness, because you see her sincerity. This makes your eyes sting again. “Thanks, mom.”

~

After a nice weekend with your parent’s, you decide you’ve been resting enough. You want to start working again, having too much time on your hands seems like a problem nowadays. You find yourself back at that new café.

“I’ll take a honey lavender latte.” You tell the girl at the counter, her eyes immediately widening before she nods her head in approval.

“Great choice. A personal fav.” She grins before continuing, “And I make it the best.” 

A new voice joins in from behind, startling you. “Make that two.” A man says. You quickly turn around, eyes rising towards the same man you spilled coffee on. “Oh, it’s you.”

He brings a hand to his heart, “I’m a you? That means you remember me!” He smiles at you, shaking his dark hair from his eyes. 

You bite your lip, guilt sinking in from the last time. “Well, I thought you were gonna press charges for burning you last time. So, I guess I would remember.”

He looks taken aback, his eyes going round. “Press charges?” Then he laughs, “No, no. I wouldn’t do that, who wants to deal with cops, anyway?” 

“Just the two lattes?” The girl at the counter speaks up in a sing song voice and you immediately spin in your spot to apologize to her but the man beats you to it while he pulls out his wallet.

“Should we get a cookie too?” He asks you, his head tilting a little and you start shaking your head. “You sure?” He smiles.

You’re the one taken aback. This guy is too kind. You wonder if he’s like this with everyone.

“Seokjin, you are going to buy us out again.” The girl sighs as she smiles before glancing at you. “He ordered us all out just yesterday.”

“It was for the elderly! You know they get a little cranky if they don’t get something a little sweet to eat! Hasn’t it brought more customers? You could say thank you.” He gets playfully defensive, pout on his lips and the girl gives a shrug while nodding. “Well, it does make my boss happy. And if he’s happy,” She leans over the counter and whispers. “It’s a better day for everyone.” Then she giggles.

“See!” Seokjin crosses his arms like he’s still offended. “I’m just trying to help you all have a better day!”

You guess he is this nice to everyone.

And before you know it, he’s taking out his card and paying for the drinks. You realize it but it’s too late.

“You didn’t have to pay for that…” You mumble, hand paused on your own wallet. “But thank you.”

“Hopefully you’ll have an even better day too.” He smiles at you and it feels warm. 

You take a moment to get a good look at him and you realize just how handsome he is. You remember his chest and broad shoulders from last time but now you see just how full and plump his lips are but you also like his brown eyes. 

He smiles at you again.

You’re staring.

“See you around, I guess.” Seokjin puts his wallet back into his back pocket before walking off towards a table near a window. 

You know his name but he doesn’t know yours and that feels a little bit like a shame.

But there’s no time for harmless nice guys giving you warm smiles. You’re here to work. Or actually here to retrain yourself on how to do your work. 

Your job agreed to help you relearn everything so today, you’re going to sit at a table and get trained. And the girl you knew from college that works at your job will be in contact with you if you have any questions. Mijoo. Apparently you two were a bit acquainted before you started working from home. 

When you find a table near the bookshelves, you get to work. There’s updates on old programs you were familiar with but there’s new ones too. Plus, the market is a bit different. It’s a lot to learn but you think you’ll get the hang of it quickly. Just like you did back in the day when you were just starting out.

Two hours or more has passed and you’re buried in your work. But you see a man in your peripherals and a cookie wrapped in parchment paper suddenly on the table right next to your laptop.

You look up and Seokjin gives you that same warm smile before it turns sheepish. “I ended up ordering two for myself a little while ago but I’m too full. You can have it. Well…well, only if you want it, of course.”

You blink up at him before you look at the cookie. 

“It’s okay, if you don’t!”

Your eyes go to him again and you shake your head before you give him your own smile. “No, no!” You tell him quickly, “I-I’ll take it. Thank you.”

“Oh.” His lips form the perfect ‘o’ and he gives you a nod. “Nice. See ya.” And he’s smiling again before walking out of the café.

His entire aura is warm and you realize you appreciate people like him even more now. With how cold life has been.

~

After a long day of sitting at the café, you’re now sitting on the floor of your dusty attic. It’s gotten easy to figure out which boxes were stored here by your own hands and which boxes are the ones that Jungkook packed up to avoid you seeing your life. It’s mostly obvious because Jungkook’s packing is much more organized than yours. 

You wonder if this box of framed photos in front of you is so neat because he looked at each one slowly, taking his time as he looked at the memories he knew you wouldn’t remember. 

You wonder if he took his time because he misses Haru.

And because he missed you.

You manage to conceal a bitter scoff as you lift your foot and push it flat against the box, forcing it back a few inches. Your concern isn’t Jungkook right now. Stop thinking about him. Stop looking at your photos with him. Stop looking at the life you lived with him.

Right now those are your priority.

A strained sigh leaves your mouth as you eye the boxes you’ve dragged to the other side of the attic. You’ve been trying to organize everything in here so you know what’s what. Eyes slide to the left where all your household memories are. Then they slowly drag across the attic, passing by an old, dusty desk to the right side where your personal mystery boxes are.

It’s taken a few days to really separate everything. Because this attic has more than just some boxes of memories and boxes of mysteries. It also has a few too many creepy crawlers hanging in the corners. And things you’re sure 33 year old you wanted to sell and get rid of. 

Buzz.

Your eyes suddenly shoot down to your phone when it lights up and vibrates the attic floor, already seeing that it’s another message from Misuk in the group chat with her and Subin. 

Last you checked they were gushing over a new song from an artist they like who you barely even know so you don’t rush to really look. Your eyes stay on the screen until the light dims and it goes black.

You’d be lying if you said you wish you didn’t have help. Someone to guide you to some answers.

Another strained sigh before a half assed chuckle barely rumbles in your chest.

Well, ‘someone’ could guide you to some answers. And that someone is 33 year old you but unfortunately you don’t understand majority of what you’ve found. As if only parts of the puzzle are in these boxes, just edges and corner pieces and you’re missing all the pieces that fill everything in. 

Your eyes still linger on the black screen as they begin to lose focus as your mind whirls into your endless list of questions again. The boxes of mysteries are only three boxes. One of them having nothing to do with your son, you think. But the other two have caused some concern.

Something tells you that 33 year old you is really not convinced that your son is dead.

It’s clear you were investigating on your own. But your notes barely make sense. And it is more than fucking frustrating. 

You’re about to close your eyes and groan but your phone suddenly lights up again as you feel a slight vibration next to your foot. It’s another text but it doesn’t look like its apart of the group chat.

You squint at the screen but it’s too far to really read anything so you finally give in and reach for the device and bring it closer to your face. And then you feel the sudden thump in your lower belly where your heart just landed.

Jungkook 9:19pm

How are you doing?

A razor sharp sting tightens every muscle in your body, the sudden tension making your breaths stop.

More than a month and a half since you’ve last seen and spoken to him and he’s finally said something to you. 

Finally because as much as you hate him, his existence makes you breathe. And you have to breathe to live. 

Buzz.

Your hand vibrates along with your phone and you suddenly clench your fingers around it. 

Jungkook 9:19pm

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. 

Your heart suddenly leaps up into your throat, choking you a bit as you try to breathe. Is that a confession? It already bothers you that he barely tried to explain himself and now he’s been silent all this time. And now he’s apologizing? He’s guilty, isn’t—

Buzz.

Jungkook 9:20pm

I just wish you would talk to me y/n…

That concealed scoff from earlier has finally broken free, pushing past your lips in something like disgust. Talk to him? Talk to him? You feel an uncomfortable anger start poking your skin from the inside and you squeeze your phone harder in you hand. The fucking audacity. 

There’s a brief moment when you consider chucking your phone across the attic but fortunately you only slam it to the floor. Frustration still hot on your skin, you quickly reach for a worn out decorative pillow and hurl it in front of you with a lot of strength, knocking against the old desk as it wobbles for a moment.

You release a short puff of air, head lowering and eyes closing as you try to calm yourself. You’ll admit, it did feel kind of good to release some en—

Thump.

Your eyes snap open as you tilt your head up towards the desk where the sudden sound just came. Did something fall inside? But what? You had checked the desk before. The top drawer only had a few pens and some sticky notes while the bottom drawer was empty minus some loose sheets of printer paper. And the left side of the desk is just two empty book shelves. It is basically empty.

It was probably nothing. 

You’re about to move on, mind already wanting to go back to Jungkook when the sudden thump just can’t make sense. Something with some weight definitely fell in or on the desk, right? But you’re sure there’s nothing from when you checked the other week. 

Doesn’t hurt to look again, you decide. Maybe this is your intuition talking to you.

You finally lift yourself from the attic floor, giving one last look at the boxes that are filled with your life with Jungkook and Haru before heading towards the middle where the desk is. It’s got an impressive layer of dust that you haven’t found any real reason to clean since the desk isn’t something you’d visit often. 

Giving in, you reach for the top drawer and open it, just like you had the other week, but just like last time, the drawer only has three pens, some used sticky notes with doodles and numbers lying around and one black marker. 

You knew there was nothing. Shutting the drawer, you quickly open the bottom drawer. It’s a deeper space, like you could fit a small filing cabinet. But instead, there’s only a few loose sheets of blank printer paper. 

Not convinced, you shove your hand inside the drawer, feeling around for anything strange and even trying to reach behind but you’re met with nothing. Okay. You step away from the desk for a moment, eyeing it suspiciously because you’re certain something with more weight than any of those things fell. And fell here. 

There’s nothing else here besides this raggedy pillow. You glance down at it, the pathetic thing on the floor before you groan, kicking it away from you. 

So what? You just imagine all kinds of things now? Is that the new normal? 

Suddenly not minding the thick layer of dust, you lean forward in defeat, hands gripping the edge of the desk as you support some of your weight onto it but the desk wobbles forward on its probably broken, unsteady legs. And you know you don’t imagine it when something with some weight definitely shifts inside. 

“Uh, what was that…?” You mumble to yourself, eyebrows coming together slowly as you take another look at the desk. Your eyes immediately fall to the left side where the two empty shelves are. It definitely came from this side.

You quickly squat down, eyes trained on the shelves, inspecting every single inch of the empty and terribly dusty space. “Don’t tell me…” You whisper, expression highly focused as you look at the back panel of the shelves. The shelving space is not nearly as deep as of the width of the desk. 

You blink at it, breaths now falling from your lips faster as your fingers quickly go to touch the backing panel and when it wiggles freely with enough pressure, you know you’ve found something. Feeling impatient, you jostle the thin wood around until you can figure out how to remove it.

And when it starts poking through the side of the shelf, your heart starts racing while you quickly slide the panel through the wooden desk. You feel it. Maybe it’s instinct because somewhere in your brain you know this is familiar and means something. The panel drops to the floor once its slid out but before it even touches, your hands are already digging inside.

“Okay, okay, okay.” You repeat with shaky breaths. Fingers already grasping what’s here and you feel yourself growing more and more anxious. A shoe box. An open shoe box that’s close to overflowing. You pull it out while you sit down onto the floor, the box settling right in front of you.

“Okay,” You sigh, reaching for the first item on top. It’s a small note book, the kind you’d use to make a check list of sorts. You take a deep breath before flipping it open and a few loose contents fall out. And then you feel the breath of a ghost at the base of your neck.

You pick up a folded sheet of paper along with a bent photo of Nabi. You feel the cold breath travel down your spine as you unfold the paper and read what’s written in someone else’s handwriting. 

Yun Nabi

118, Seolleungro-150, Yongsan-gu, Seoul 

 010-6203-3087

 010 3476 9876àweekends

010 9874 3456 new ##

You stare down at the worn paper, confusion clouding your mind. You want to rip her photo to shreds.

You quickly glance to the bent photo in your other hand and before you tell your hand what to do, it’s already crumbling it. Your dark gaze set on the now wrinkled woman who managed to gain Jungkook’s attention. 

Maybe it’s not her fault if she’s great.

Maybe it’s your fault. 

Your eyes stay trained on the crumbled photo but they’ve lost focus once again. Soon the balled up picture and the folded note fall to your lap as Numbness hugs you over your shoulders and as Insecurity sits next to you and whispers into your ear. 

Why did Jungkook cheat on you? 

You manage to blink but your throat feels dry.

Why did he do that to you? Why would anyone…?

You want to laugh at yourself. Because you know if this happened to anyone else you would know it wasn’t their fault. The person who cheated…it’s about them and no one else. And you want to tell yourself this, remind yourself, confirm that this isn’t your fault. 

But why do you sit here, letting Numbness hug you tighter? And why do you sit here and wonder?

You wonder…you wonder where you went wrong that you were no longer enough for him.

And it doesn’t feel fair that you’re wondering that.

You take the photograph and crumple it even more before throwing it to the side and decide to open the notebook. And you see more puzzle pieces. 

Routine

7 he wakes up….sometimes 8 

Jungkook takes him to work sometimes for fun 

Someone at work?? Who? Another list

Daycare usually Mondays & Thursdays for sure

Busiest days at work

You flip the page

Thursday the 14th, at the bus station, 

The 18th when I was going home

There was a car parked outside on the street for 3 days

The 5th

The 8th

The 12th I ran into someone who knew me but I didn’t know them

A man with buzzed hair

Something hot bubbles inside your chest and it feels like it’s burning you. Anxiety has a touch of fire. You flip to the next page.

It just scribbles like you were frustrated.

Just like you are now. 

You decide to close to the notebook. Discomfort swallowing you like a dry pill. 

But you don’t stop looking through the box. Pictures of people you don’t know. More lists of times and dates. But no context. More frustration building. 

Your head snaps up suddenly when you recall something falling so you quickly reach inside the secretive hole in the desk and feel around. Your fingers grasp at nothing until something cold is felt. You can tell what it is immediately as you wrap your fingers around the device. A phone. 

You take the cold, shiny device in your clammy hands and rush to turn it on but it’s got a dead battery. You turn the phone upside down to check what kind of charger it takes and remember that downstairs in the kitchen there’s a drawer of random charging cables. 

You need to get this thing turned on. Now. 

“Are you okay?” You immediately straighten your back, phone dropping to the attic floor,  the sudden voice a shock since you live alone. You quickly look around you, eyes darting from place to place but of course, there’s no one here. You feel sick. Especially because…didn’t that voice sound like—

“Are you okay?” Jungkook comes next to you, his eyes avoiding yours but he can’t hide the concern in his voice. You look at him, equally annoyed as he is. But still, you hear in his voice he doesn’t totally hate you. 

“It’s fine.” You mumble, fingers picking at the bandage wrapped around your palm. “It just got scraped.”

Jungkook chuckles humorlessly, “Misuk said Subin threw up in her mouth because of the blood.”

You shrug, “Okay, it was pretty bad.”

Jungkook stays silent and the same tension that’s been building since Sana’s wedding is here again. You, Jungkook, Misuk and Subin came to Busan for the weekend to celebrate your mom’s birthday but today, the day of the party, has been anything but fun. One thing after the other, but the cherry on top was around 20 minutes ago when you accidentally sliced your palm open while helping in the kitchen.

Now you’re outside trying to cool off but the last person you want to see has come to check on you.

“Does it hurt?” Jungkook stares up at the tree you two are standing in front of outside your house. He doesn’t bother to try and soften his tone. Sure, it’s concerned but it’s also irritated.

“I told you it’s fine.” You answer, sounding clipped. “Just go back inside.”

“You’re mad at me if I’m inside. You’re mad at me if I’m outside.” He stuffs his hands in his front jean pockets and continues gazing at the tall tree. “I really don’t understand why you’re so up—”

“—Oh? You don’t?” You turn your head to glare at him, “Really?”

You watch Jungkook’s profile, his jaw tightening for a moment before he sighs out.

“I don’t know.” He tells you before turning to face you as well. Your eyes are narrowed but he sees plenty of disappointment in them. “Maybe I do. But I also seriously don’t.”

You look down to the ground, a moment of consideration because you kind of understand him. But then you recall last night and realize that no, he definitely should understand why you’re mad.

Things have changed between you two. Ever since Sana’s wedding, there’s been something different and enticing. Moments that feel way too charged to be platonic. But neither of you have spoken up about it. Maybe he’s afraid you don’t feel it. Or maybe you’re now just realizing you’re afraid he is the one who doesn’t feel it.

Because how doesn’t he understand that having his last serious girlfriend from Busan in your parents living room while they flirt with one another relentlessly in front of you, is not going to make you mad?

“You don’t think flirting with your ex-girlfriend in front of me wasn’t going to make me mad, Jungkook?” You throw the words at him without much care for his reaction. It’s an honest question, in your book.

“Okay,” Jungkook tilts his head back before running his hands through his hair, “So this is about Hanja.” He groans a little before giving in and taking a step closer to you. “I didn’t think it was a big deal…and you call her my ex girl-friend as if she doesn’t have a name. Hanja told me she had a lot of classes with you in High School!”

“And?” You deadpan. “Doesn’t make us friends.”

“Okay.” He nods but now he’s the one with disappointment in his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean you had to be rude.”

“You invited her to my mom’s birthday party!” You throw back, “And have barely even…” It sucks that your voice gets a little softer because you just want to make a point. “You’ve barely even  looked at me since she’s been here.” 

Jungkook’s lips part and he looks conflicted as he registers your words but you don’t wait for him to get it before you continue.

“Sure,” You manage a stubborn shrug, “Maybe you’re not flirting with her but you don’t stop her when she does with you.” 

Jungkook’s brows furrow, “She hasn’t flirted with me, y/n.” He tries to assure you, his tone finally not irritated but instead the same soft as yours. “We just have history, you know? But that was what? 5 years ago? 6? 7? I don’t even know. We ended on good terms so I thought it was harmless. She’s in town too and had nothing to do…I didn’t think it was a big deal.” 

“I just…” You finally meet his eye for the first time more willingly, “I don’t know.” 

He finally relaxes his features and a pleasantly pleased smile starts tugging at the corner of his lips, “You’re…jealous.” He confirms softly.

You raise a brow at him, feeling annoyed. “So then you do understand why I’m mad.” 

“Yeah.” He agrees but you see the uncertainty in his eyes. “But I wasn’t sure. Maybe hoping but I couldn’t be sure, you know?” 

“Did you want me to be jealous?” You ask, unsure how that makes you feel but you see genuine and quiet panic all over his face while he shakes his head.

“No, no.” He tells you with big eyes. “But when I realized you were mad at me, I thought it could be because you were jealous. And,” He pauses, swallowing what you think is nerves. “That’s why I became hopeful, I guess.” 

“And why is that?” A cool breeze suddenly picks up and it feels nice against your cheeks.

“Because it might mean…” His words grow quieter, seeking your understanding of where he was going. “But without being direct…well, I can’t really be sure, you know?”

“Then why can’t we be direct?” You gesture between your bodies, “I like you, Jungkook.” It doesn’t take a lot of effort to say it, to admit it, but it does take a lot of effort to not tear your eyes away from him in embarrassment. But your gaze remains on his. 

“And there’s no way I’m imagining—”

“—You aren’t!” Jungkook panics, his fingers flying to your wrists, holding on to them as he persuades your eyes to remain on his again. “You aren’t imagining it. I know it, too.” He tells you but he looks and sounds conflicted.

“For months, Jungkook.” You say quietly, “I’ve been wondering for months if you’re going to make a real move on me.” 

He can’t help but smile at you nervously, his clammy fingers still pressing into your wrists. “I just…” Jungkook’s smile begins dropping as he explains himself, “…I’m so afraid of talking about this because it might change our friendship and you’re just,” He pauses, eyes searching yours because he needs to see if you understand. “You’re too important, y/n.” 

“You’d rather never tell me how you feel because it might change our friendship?” You ask him, ignoring the fire burning along the edges of your skin. “You would rather spend forever just wondering if I feel the same as you? Just like I’ve been wondering if you feel the same as me? Too afraid to talk about it because it…might change our friendship?”

Jungkook’s fingers finally disconnect from your skin and into his hair, his nerves only multiplying but he finds the courage to say, “If you didn’t feel the same, things would change.”

“If I didn’t feel the same then things wouldn’t have changed in the first place. Jungkook, things have already changed. And I don’t like wondering. We’re already past platonic so I’ll tell you—”

Suddenly, your head starts pounding.

A new memory unlocked. 

And it only makes you sit on your attic floor and cry.

Great timing.

~

Your fingers feel frozen, maybe even numb as you dig through another random kitchen drawer to find the correct charger for the phone you’ve found. So far you haven’t been lucky. Then again, nothing feels lucky. You’ve been quiet to yourself all day after last night. Not even a thought out loud. 

Your eyes grow watery again but you immediately slam your lids shut, squeezing tightly because you refuse to shed anymore tears. You might have to buy a new charger but you really aren’t in the mood to leave the house. You aren’t in the mood for anything except maybe hurling more old, worn out, decorative pillows at dusty furniture. But now you feel afraid for what you might find. The more mysteries you unlock, you’re afraid to unlock a memory along with it. 

It's evening now, the kitchen clock says 6:13pm. The day has gone by. You watched the sun rise this morning and now you’re witnessing it set. You have yet to find it in you to sleep today. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll slip into your bed that you once shared with Jungkook and suddenly you’ll remember all the times you’ve slept in it with him. You can’t afford any more of that. Just yesterday you were begging 33 year old you to share some of the life you’ve missed and now that she is sharing some of the years…you’re realizing you aren’t ready. 

You take a deep breath, shutting a drawer shut when you decide to order a new charging cable for the phone. Your eyes slide to the device that rests peacefully on the counter while your heart beats uncomfortably in your throat. You stare at it, wondering what contents lie inside but a part of you feels fearful of what you might find. 

Taking another breath, you wrap your arms around yourself, hugging yourself for a moment before you decide to take care of this. Sitting yourself at the kitchen island, opening your laptop, you search the phone and get the cable ordered for delivery tomorrow. This is better than driving yourself nuts trying to find it.

You close your eyes, resting your head down to the counter, wishing you could turn your day around.

Ding Dong.

Your eyes snap open. 

And something unsettling starts whirling in your belly. As if you can sense who is at your door.

Knock Knock Knock.

You groan quietly to yourself because you just know. You know exactly who it is for some insane reason. You just feel it. You stand from the stool and walk yourself to your front door. Swinging it open without even peeping through the hole to confirm your suspicions. 

Jungkook’s doesn’t look too good. For as handsome as he is, he looks rough. His skin is dry, his lips are pale and the bags under his eyes give away how much sleep he isn’t getting. You don’t care though. Not about him. Your fingers grip around the door frame tighter, your skin burning at the sight. 

“I just wanted to see how you were.” He tells you, voice so quiet you had to read his lips.  You want to scoff bitterly in his face, shut him out and make him feel thrown away. 

But your foot pushes the front door further open as you turn around to go into the living room. You’ve invited him in. Though, ‘invited’ feels like a strong word. 

You can hear the door creak open even furth from behind you, shoes are shuffling onto the floor and the door clicks shut. You hold your breath as you walk to the sofa, sitting yourself down at the very end of it as your eyes glue themselves to the black screen of the TV. 

Jungkook follows your lead and sits at the other end of the couch. In your peripherals, he looks like a big, black scribble of a thousand swirling lines and you don’t have it in you to focus your eyes on him and let him appear as Jungkook. As a person. So, you keep your eyes on the TV.

Nothing is said between you both for a long while, all your senses are heightened though as you anticipate his next words to you. The hairs on your arms rise when the click of the AC goes off as it turns on. You wonder if his next words have to do with apologizing about cheating on you. Apologize to you that you just couldn’t be enough. Apologize to you for losing your son. 

Your head slightly tilts in the direction of the kitchen when you notice the soft drip drops of water from the faucet. The distant bark from a small dog. Jungkook’s fingernails scratching his forearm. Every noise is going off in your ears, haunting you, taunting you and driving you insane. 

You only want to hear his voice. 

“Why are you here?” You finally break the noisy silence. 

“To see you.” He says, voice quiet and afraid. “You’re doing better than me, huh?”

Your palms are flat against the couch cushion before you slowly curl your fingers, grabbing nothing of the material at his words. “Do you really think you get to say that to me?”

“This isn’t fair for either of us, y/n.” Jungkook has the audacity to keep speaking. “You just don’t understand.”

You twist your head to eye him, your jaw tight as you watch him sit on the sofa, eyes cowering away from yours. “You’ll stop talking now.” You tell him as your voice becomes quiet and afraid as well. You’re livid but you speak like you’re hurt. 

“Then…” Jungkook pauses, his eyes going all around the living room now before he sighs. “Then I’ll just listen.”

You push your head back in disbelief, “I didn’t ask you to come here so I can talk to you. In fact, I didn’t ask you to come here at all.”

He finally turns his head toward you, his eyes are red and watery and you hate that you hate seeing him on the verge of tears. You watch his throat as you pay attention to the hard way he swallows. “I know. But I had to see you.” 

Suddenly, your head starts pounding, a harsh banging from inside your forehead. You quickly let your head fall into your hands when those words keep repeating inside your mind. I know. But I had to see you. I know. But I had to see you. I know. But I had to see you. 

You groan into your hands. The pain erupting on all sides of your head. The words repeating over and over, making your ears feel like they’re bleeding. I know. But I had to see you.

“y/n?” You hear Jungkook’s quiet and afraid voice. 

I know. But I had to see you. 

“I thought you didn’t want to see me…” Jungkook’s eyes are blood shot. You know he’s been drinking again.

“I know.” You mutter, “But I had to see you.” 

“Oh.” He stumbles backward, his hand widening his front door to his new, shitty apartment. You feel anger bubbling, because you know he’s drunk. You’re doing everything in your power to keep it together and he’s wasting his time drinking.

“You’ve shut out Jimin.” You tell him, cutting to the chase. “So you don’t know anything, do you?”

“W-What’s there to know? I don’t need them anymore. Also, I was fucking fired.”

You snap your eyes to his as he still stands at his open doorway. “You’re pissing me off, Jungkook.”

“I can do this on my—”

“—They’re closing the case.” You say. “They’re saying he’s…that he’s…” You pause, throat growing drier. “You know.”

“I don’t know.” Jungkook drunkenly shrugs, slamming the door shut, making you flinch. “They’re all wrong, anyway.”

You feel your shoulders growing tenser, your lips in a hard, thin line before they die into a frown. “They’re saying we should hold a funeral.”

Jungkook’s body goes still, his hanging arms at his sides suddenly rise to his face when he rubs his temples. “Excuse me?”

“They want to—”

“Just stop!” He suddenly cries out, voice shrill. You see his eyes growing redder and redder as tears fill them up. “None of you know what you-you’re talking about. Just shut up, all of you!” 

You flinch.

Jungkook’s fingers go into his hair when he starts pulling on the strands. “This just isn’t right.” He keeps muttering to himself, “I got this. I got this. I got this.” He starts pacing back and forth in front of his coffee table. “Just stop. Stop talking.”

You stand in silence.

“I said stop talking!” 

You watch him unravel.

“Jung—”

Glass breaks across the coffee table. A shattered soju bottle that he’s thrown.

You flinch again. 

You take a step back.

Jungkook falls to the floor, crying and yelling at no one. The loss of your son is much worse than you could have imagined. But you knew telling Jungkook about the funeral was going to cause something more serious to unravel. But you didn’t imagine this.

“y/n?” Jungkook voice sounds sober now. “y/n?”

Your head is about to split into sections, the pain so overwhelming.

You lift your face from your hands, your cheeks overflowing with tears. Why did you have to remember that? 

“Hey,” Jungkook stands from the sofa and comes closer to you. His hand hesitantly landing on your shoulder but just like in your memory, you flinch. He immediately frowns. “y/n…” He brings his hand back to his body. “Talk to me, I’ll just listen.”

“G-go.” You keep your head low as your eyes stay glued to your lap. “Please just go.” 

His hands freeze at his sides, using all of his self-control. Even you can feel how tense his body is, just from the heat that radiates off of it. You’re being serious. He needs to go before you spiral into one of your throbbing headaches that give you a panic attack. The kind you can manage on your own—and prefer to. 

“Please, Jungkook…” You squeeze your eyes shut. “I’m not feeling well now so pl—”

“—Okay.” His fingers curl into hard fists. “Call me if you need anything. Please.” He stands here for another moment, like his feet have become glued to the floor and he’s unable to move. But after a tentative sigh, they finally move. And your ears bleed again at each sound that can be heard. The click of the AC turning off, the small dog whining in your neighbor’s yard, each drip of water dropping from the faucet and finally the whoosh of the front door opening and closing shut. And you finally let go a long, long breath. 

Your head hurts and your heart hurts, the memory fresh in your mind. You never imagined to see Jungkook…like that. You barely recognized him. Does he have a drinking problem? Or did? You need to erase these images in your head, or at least scatter something pretty over them. And that’s when you get an idea that you know is pure torture.

~

One of the boxes from the attic is sat on your living floor, with your bottom plopped right next to it. It’s a box you organized yourself, you can tell. Just a box of intimate memories with your ex-husband. You pull out a letter you’ve read at least six times now…might as well make it seven.

The envelope is pink with little hearts drawn all over it and though it’s only eight years old, it looks like it’s at least 20. The envelope itself is wrinkly with random water stains and the page inside is soft and used like you’ve read this letter a thousand times. Might as well make it a thousand and one. 

You slip the paper out of the envelope, unfolding it carefully, the crinkling paper opening up with Jungkook’s handwriting written all over.

April 10 2015

Dear y/n,

Hi it’s me, your boooooyfriend. >.< sorry I’m still getting used to it. You’re probably wondering why I’m writing a letter when I could just call or text you but you seemed to think it was cute in that movie we watched the other day and so Im writing you one too!! Also, I think my peers are thinking Im working really hard on a case. I wish I was but they won’t give me anything good. I know it hasn’t even been a year since I finally landed here in the Investigation sector as a detective but they still treat me like such a rookie…blaaaahhhhh you know this already. The captain seems to think I have potential though. But ya know what? The guys here said the only thing ive done right so far is getting you as a girlfriend hahaha 

Maybe they’re right I mean they’re definitely right 

I miss you so much

Im sitting here at my desk writing you and its just making me miss you a kabillzillion times more…….i seriously aaaaahhhh im going crazy because I miss you that much 

Im so lucky youre so amazing and my favorite person to exist and so pretty so pretty 

I know we’ve only been together for a short while but what if I told you I know exactly how I feel about yoooouuuuu huh what if 

Ask me about it when I see you tonight

Love,

Jungkook Your cheerios 

You read it. Then you read it again. This is the Jungkook you want to remember.

~~

It’s the next day and you’re opening the package you ordered just yesterday. Pulling out a small box, you get it open and unravel the charging cable to the phone you’ve found. Taking a look at the clock, you realize you’re a bit behind. You wanted to get to the café at noon for work but it’s already 15 after. You quickly plug the charger into the wall and get the phone charging. It’s dead so it’ll take a while to get turned on so you decide to leave it here while you head out. 

The café is a bit busy today, more people than you’re used to, but thankfully you see an open table. You set up your laptop and get to work. Taking a pause to message Mijoo about needing some guidance if she can meet any of these days. It would be nice to have some help in person. After working for a bit, you can’t help but lift your face from the screen and dart your eyes around the place. No sign of Seokjin today. Not that it means anything but he’s got the kind of warm, reassuring smile that you could use these days. 

And just like clockwork, the quiet bell dings when he walks through the café’s front door. He meets your eye immediately and gives you a small nod and the smile you were searching for. You nod back, eyes going back down to the laptop before you take another peak towards Seokjin. He’s walked up to the counter, talking with the young girl that’s always here. After a moment she hands him a box of what you assume are desserts. Maybe he’s giving them to the elderly again.

Then he walks out.

Oh, he isn’t staying today.

That’s okay, you don’t have time to chat with a harmless nice guy anyway. You have work to do. Something to truly get your mind off of everything else you’ve been going through. You think it’s a miracle you have it in you to try every day. In another universe, you might have already gone insane. 

~

After working a little while longer, you pack your things up and head to your car. It’s a sunny day, barely any clouds in the sky and it feels warm. Warm enough to make you forget this coldness that lingers all around you, all inside you. 

You start driving home when you remember you’re supposed to pick up a few groceries so you stop by the market first. It’s not too crowded and since you’re in an okay mood, you decide to put in your earphones and walk inside with a pep to your step. You needed zucchini…what else? Bread for sure was on your list. Peanut butter, eggs, oh yeah and some chips for when you get a craving. 

You start heading to the aisle with peanut butter when you recognize someone familiar. 

“Seokjin?” You mumble his name but he doesn’t hear you. His eyes fully focused on his jams. He stands here, deep in thought before he finally reaches for one.

“Hi.” You say a little louder and he jumps in his spot.

He turns to face you, ears turning red when he sees you. “Hi.” He stares at you dumbfounded for a moment, “I just realized I don’t know your name.” Then he chuckles.

You can’t help but crack a smile, “It’s y/n.”

“Ah, y/n. Yeah, that suits you.” He tells you confidently.

“Does it?”

“Do you usually shop here?” Seokjin gestures around the aisle, “I’ve never seen you before. Or are you…” He suddenly drops his smile and looks serious. “Following me?” Then he breaks into a huge smile before adding, “Dun, dun, duuuun.” 

You feel your stomach swirl with something before you shake your head, feeling embarrassed. “No, no! I live around here actually. This is just a coincidence.”

“A coincidence, huh? A lot of those lately.” He gives you another smile, this time more teasing. “We should just meet on purpose, you know.” 

You stand here, taken aback by his words. Is he implying meeting intentionally?

He seems to feel your shift. “Unless, unless…” His eyes avert yours now, his ears turning a deeper shade of red. “Sorry. Unless you don’t want to. Maybe you’re already seeing someone.”

You shake your head quickly, “No. I’m…I’m not.” You’re not but it feels wrong to say it. “But I wasn’t assuming…anything. Like, if you were implying a date or something.”

Seokjin pouts his lips before glancing up at the ceiling, “Why not? You would have been right.”

You blink at him, taken aback again. “Oh.”

“I happen to know a pretty great restaurant. Maybe we can not coincidentally meet there?”

He’s…asking you out. 

And it pains you because… “I can’t. Sorry,” You look down at your feet before glancing towards the jams. “Umm, I’m kind of going through something and—”

“—Oh.” Seokjin nods his head quickly. “No, no. I understand…you don’t have to explain. I’m kind of going through something too and I know that a good way to get through it is some nice company every now and then.” He gives you a warm smile, all the teasing gone. “I understand you though. So don’t worry but…” He suddenly pats his pants pockets before looking delighted. “In case you change your mind…I’m learning to…how do they kids say…shoot my shot.” He suddenly pulls out a receipt and a pen and scribbles something on it before handing it to you. 

His number.

“Just in case!” He cheeses harder. 

~

“I honestly don’t think it’s a big deal.” Misuk looks at you through the camera, her face looking brighter. “It’s just a date!”

“It is a big deal.” You whine again, “I’m in love with someone else and I have a whole lot of mess going on.” 

Subin nods her head sympathetically, “That’s true. But I think Misuk means it’s not a big deal because it could be…” She pauses, clearly thinking of the right words. It’s amusing to you to see they might agree on this. “A good thing? A simple thing! A little, you know, fun thing!” 

“Exactly!” Misuk drags out the word, “You don’t have to fall in love but you’re so focused on…you know, your memories…that you aren’t living life.”

“Uh,” You begin to defend yourself, “I’m—”

“—Yes, yes.” Misuk waves you off, “You are getting back into work! And that’s good! But you really should start living a normal life again.”

“And…” Subin looks off camera, her eyes looking softer. “It’s kind of the same. You are missing your memories, yes, and I’m so sorry…but 33 year old you was the same. Divorced. And I don’t think you were in any headspace to even think about wanting Jungkook back.” She finishes quietly.

“You wanted nothing to do with him.” Misuk tells you. “So just live a little…you know, just normal things. And who knows, it might help with your memories.”

You sit still for a moment. You’ll admit that you haven’t exactly been living normally. You mostly sit around all day, alone, surrounding yourself with things you don’t understand and torture yourself with memories of Jungkook. 

“Anyway, I’ll let you guys know if anything changes.” You chuckle after you focus your eyes on your friends again. “I just got home so I gotta put these groceries ...away" Your eye notices the list lying on the counter and you realize..."Damn, and I forgot the eggs. Anyway, I’ll call later!” You sing out.

“Okay! Bye!”

“Bye!” Subin sings back. And you end the call.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe you deserve a little break or something simple and fun. You bite your lip, thoughts still lingering but you decide to reach into your back pocket and pull out the receipt Seokjin gave you. You shake your head quickly but reach for your phone and input the number and press call. You need light in this darkness.

~~

You hate feeling defeated. 

Sitting on your sofa, blanket wrapped tightly around you as your hand clenches around this cold, empty and useless device. 

The phone has either never been used or was completely wiped. You thought you could torture yourself with more information but you’ve come out of this empty handed. There’s nothing on here. No call history, no text history, no pictures or videos…nothing. You squeeze the phone harder, frustration still building. When your actual phone buzzes. 

Your eyes shoot down to your now lit up phone and you drop the useless one to the couch cushion. It might be Subin gushing about this band she’s seeing this weekend. You’ll ignore—

Buzz.

You give in, reaching for your phone and your stomach does its usual uneasy swirling.

Jungkook 9:10pm

How are you feeling?

Jungkook 9:10pm

We don’t have to talk but at least tell me how youre doing…

Your eyes slam shut, the urge to cry too strong. Because you’re hurt. You’re hurting. You’re confused. You’re angry. And you’re sad. 

Why are you so weak? You should delete him, block him and throw your whole phone away. Because your phone knows him and you don’t. 

But you’re weak because you’re going to text back.

Except Jungkook beats you to it.

Jungkook 9:13pm

Did you get hit with a headache earlier? You okay? Have you seen your doctor lately?

All these questions are giving you different kind of headache. 

You 9:13pm

Its fine, Im fine

You lie

Jungkook 9:13pm

Liar

You 9:14pm

Jungkook

You 9:14pm

Do you have a drinking problem?

You press send. You see the bubbles pop up your screen, indicating that he’s typing but they disappear. Then they reappear. And disappear again.

You 9:16pm

Jungkook?

Jungkook 9:16pm

Who told you that? 

You feel your shoulders tense.

You 9:16pm

No one told me

You 9:17pm

I just remember when I went to your place…there was a lot of alcohol lying around and the place seemed rough

You 9:17pm

And idk I got thinking. Im not trying to accuse you or anything but…is what I saw…what I think it is?

You send. It’s not a total lie. Not what you’re referring to…but not a total lie. 

You stare at the screen but there’s no indication if he’s read your message or not. No typing. Nothing. Your eyes glance at the clock and it reads 9:19pm now. It’s okay. Only two minutes. But why does it feel like eternity? 

9:25pm and all you’ve done is sit, tightly wrapped in a blanket on your couch, and stare at your phone screen, touching the screen every time it times out. And still nothing. 

But then you see bubbles pop up.

Back straightening, you breathe in and out as your eyes remain on the screen. 

He’s been typing for three minutes.

You hold your breath now. 

Jungkook 9:28pm

And if it is?

You let out a short breath, disbelief crawling all over your skin that you throw the blanket off of you and stand from the couch. Your memories are reliable. 

You feel a sting pierce your eyes but you grit your teeth and hold any tears back. This is just too much for you to accept. You walk into the kitchen, frustration raging inside your body. You step up to the sink, hands gripping the edge of the counter before leaning forward, sighing out your anger. 

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Calming down, you immediately grab a bowl and sniffle to yourself. You’ll just do these dishes and forget all about this. 

You take another bowl, the hot water burning your fingers and palms as you absentmindedly scrub it clean. 

“Sometimes I think you wash clean dishes at this point.” Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. 

You laugh, “Not true.”

“The water is too hot, baby.” He nuzzles his face into your neck, suddenly pecking it softly. “You’re going to melt the skin off your bones.”

You realize he’s right, the water is really hot but you were just lost in thought. Your wedding is in two days. You get out of your thoughts while you set the bowl back into the sink and turn the faucet off. “I’m just—”

“I know.” Jungkook nuzzles his nose into your warm skin. “I can’t believe you’re the one who’s nervous between us.”

You sigh, small smile on your face. “I’m not nervous. But I am, a little.”

“I know.”

“Not in a bad way.”

“I know that too.”

“In a…marrying the love of my life, wow life is crazy kind of way.” You dry your hands before twisting in Jungkook’s embrace and you lean in to kiss him. “You probably know what I mean.”

He laughs against your lips, “I would be the one who knows exactly what you mean.”

Your lips twist into a sheepish smile, “I missed you today.”

“I missed you more.”

You roll your eyes, a teasing smile forming now. “Liar.”

He looks surprised for a second before rolling his own eyes, “I’m serious.”

“You’re only serious about work nowadays.” You tease him, and you are mostly teasing. It’s only lately he’s been zeroed in on a case. 

But Jungkook frowns, “It isn’t going well.” He admits to you. “I don’t know that we’ll get this one.”

“You will.” You lean forward more and nudge your nose against his, “You are the best there is.”

Jungkook chuckles, “Unfortunately I’m still in the ‘proving myself’ phase.” 

“Here too.” You continue to tease him, “Still deciding if this wedding is happ—”

“—Heeeeey, don’t joke like that.” Jungkook nudges his nose against yours now, “Tell me I’m the best here too.”

Your hands trail down his chest, eyes focusing on his. “You are.” 

“I wish Jimin would tell me that too.” He laughs a little but you know he’s serious. You take his hands in yours.

“You guys are new at being partners. Give it time, babe.”

“He hates me.” Jungkook sighs, “He thinks I mess everything up. And honestly, I can’t blow this one, y/n. The captain believes in me, which is good but my own partner doubts me.” 

You understand this is hard for Jungkook to accept. 

“Listen…” You give his hands a squeeze. “This is your first big one, right? Take it slow and I know you won’t get flustered like the last one.”

He immediately drops his hands from yours, “I can’t get like how I was with the last one.” Jungkook takes a step away from you, “This one is way too serious…the men I’m dealing with, y/n…you have no idea. I can’t mess this up.”

“Baby…” You feel bad for bringing up the last case he took with Jimin. He got too involved emotionally and when things didn’t end up well for the victim…”It’s okay. You have me to talk about this with and—”

“—But I don’t. I’m legally not allowed to. I got in trouble with sharing so much last time and…fuck,” Jungkook pauses. Closes his eyes slowly before taking a step forward and reaching for your hands again. “This is not what we need to be talking about right before our wedding. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You give his hands another squeeze. “We share our lives. With or without marriage, right?” 

 “I only wanna talk about us.” He breathes out softly, his lips inching closer to yours. “Let’s focus on you and me.” 

And your skin is burning again. It’s on fire. Too much fire, it hurts.

And that’s when you realize you’re still here at your kitchen sink, hot lava rushing to your skin, burning you as you hold the bowl you were cleaning.

You take a deep breath, taking a step back from the sink when you slam your eyes shut and let out a loud groan. You don’t even flinch when the sound of glass hits the floor because you’ve thrown the bowl. You don’t care.

Another memory. 

And it seems they’re all out of order. 

~~

Another bead of sweat dribbles down the side of Jungkook’s face, rolling right off his skin. And another miserable night. He gently throws his head back against the bathroom wall, his hairline drenched from hour two of hurling in the toilet. He’s drank too much again. Maybe some bad food poisoning in there. But even still, he knows he’s drank too much. 

He isn’t abusing the alcohol, really. Not lately. But he knows what it can do to him. He hates it. He hates himself. 

He hates this existence. 

Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut before he groans to himself, knocking his head back a few more times. What is he doing? 

He misses you.

He wants to make things right.

How?

Jungkook wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before trying to stand from the floor. He’s wobbly but he manages. He’s tired and he isn’t sleeping and he can’t because he knows you’re not. This is how he feels like he’s with you, the only real support he can give. 

He looks at himself in the mirror, his tired eyes staring back at him. He wants to tell that guy to fuck off, for some reason. He wants to scoff at him and offer him no sympathy. Jungkook wants to raise his hands to that man’s throat and squeeze. He wants to swear at him and curse him. His mouth twists and his eyes grow teary and he sighs. Because all he can do is cry for him. 

His head snaps up when the bathroom counter vibrates from his phone. Someone’s texted.

Unknown Number

Its me

Buzz.

Unknown Number

We need to talk

[savannahsdeath]

hi!! how’re you??? can you write something about drunk Ellie?? in my head she’s a totally loser lol

plus: i love your account 😭 thank you for feeding my passion for Ellie 🥲🫶

hi sweetheart!! im alright, better than usually even.. and thank you ahh youre so nice anon🫣‼️ anyways, warnings: slightly suggestive, throwing up, obviously alcohol and.. i think thats all. also i imagine it more as college!ellie since i think older ellie would rarely drink + only drink to cover up her sorrows;(( i hope you guys get what i mean..

drunk!ellie who can't drink alone or she'd completely pass out. either you or dina have to tell her when to stop, though 'telling her' doesn't really work. the only option is to just take the alcohol out of her sight.

drunk!ellie who becomes a full-time shit talker. she'll be so mean, but right, you're scared what she might think of you. of course, no one really takes her too seriously, since every insult leaving her mouth is slurred and... immature. in moments like that, you always bring up people you hate and listen to her rambling about every little pathetic thing about them. she can go on like that for minutes, hours even, and it's like music to your ears.

drunk!ellie who wants to make out with you so so badly. she forgets you're 'just friends' and her big, huge crush on you starts showing as she gets all touchy with you. when you or anyone else calls her out, she of course refuses to admit it and insists that she isn't doing anything (her hand rubs your inner thigh, moving higher and higher each second).

drunk!ellie who blames everything on jesse or dina. someone threw up? dina, of course. someone drank your father's liqueur, which was supposed to stay untouched? she saw dina emptying the bottle and tempting jesse, as if they're adam and eve. someone broke a vase? she saw jesse accidentally pushing it with his elbow.

"but ellie, i saw you—"

"y—yeah! he pushed me and um— yeah. jesse... it's his fault, i s—swear." and it almost seems she believes her own lie, though it doesn't seem so convincing to the rest of you.

drunk!ellie who starts doing the most random things ever. board games, rubik's cubes (even though she never managed to solve it without watching a step by step tutorial), and don't even let me start on puzzles— if she finds a set, she'll have a goal for the rest of the night - completing them, even if they have thousands of pieces. the point is, she never succeeds. her vision is too dizzy and her head is spinning too much, she can't find two fitting pieces at all.

drunk!ellie who keeps telling everyone random funfacts or the most impossible to happen thoughts.

"did you guys know that snails can sleep for three years? man, lucky motherfuckers. i hope i'll be one in my next life."

you don't even start on how they're slow, how people stomp on them all the time or how their lives are simply boring. you know nothing will change her mind.

"hear me out... what if—" she's so invested she has to make a dramatic pause. "this room just exploded. like, right now."

drunk!ellie who falls asleep snuggled up with you, drooling on your chest and unintentionally moving her hand in a way that slides your shirt upwards, but you don't fix it and enjoy the view of your loser best friend being so adorable and quiet once in her life. jk shes always adorable

✧˖°

[hyuckiefluff]

Hiiii! May i request a mini fic where the femreader loves to play with jeno's hair. Can u add a little fluff to it? 🥹

I love ur fics so much! Thank u! 💗

thank uu for requesting!! feedback is greatly appreciated <3

pairing: lee jeno x fem reader

cw: none! unless ure like me and lovey-dovey couples trigger u lol im jk!!! no but writing this rlly had me kicking my feet cuz i can vividly imagine jeno being like this irl

wc: 500+

With the TV light casting a soft glow around the room, you tugged the blanket over your and Jeno’s bodies after feeling him shiver slightly, cocooning yourselves in its coziness.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt? It's like -5 outside, babe," you looked down at your boyfriend, who was sprawled out on top of you on the couch. His arms wrapped tightly around your frame, seeking warmth in your proximity. You both were having a lazy day, watching the Bob Ross channel since you got called off work due to the snowstorm.

"I prefer your warmth," he mumbled, his voice sounding a bit slurred since half his face was buried in your chest. "Actually, you should take your shirt off too. I heard it's the best way to fight off hypothermia... skin-to-skin."

"Hypothermia is a bit of a reach, and please, stop being such a horn-dog for two seconds."

"Can't help it," he replied in a raspy tone, his slow blinks signaling that he was on the verge of falling asleep.

You smiled fondly, and your hands instinctively moved to his back, where you began to scratch. He groaned in satisfaction, and you could feel his leg twitch a little. It reminded you of a puppy when you rubbed its belly.

"You like that?" you inquired, and he responded with a contented hum.

Your hands traveled up to his shoulders, massaging his tense trapezoids. "Ahh, baby, that feels amazing," he slurred, his head growing heavier on your chest, a clear sign that he was relaxing more.

"Should've done this yesterday after your workout," you pointed out, your fingers expertly working the knots in his muscles. You noticed how tense he was and how he flinched a little when you pressed too hard.

He only managed a noise in response, lost in the bliss of your ministrations. Your fingers found their way into his messy locks, and he sighed contentedly. You knew he loved it when you played with his hair the most.

"Your hair's grown a lot," you said, grabbing onto a particularly long section.

"Yeah, I should cut it soon," he replied casually.

"You will do no such thing, sir," you declared.

He snorted at your sudden seriousness, but when you remained silent, he looked up and cooed at your frown.

"Baby, you said it yourself, it's getting out of control," he teased, laughing at your dramatics.

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Just say that you hate your girlfriend..."

His eyes softened, and he reached up to cup your cheek, his touch warm against your skin.

"You're so cute, and you take such good care of me, how could I ever hate you?" he murmured, his gaze filled with affection.

He raised himself slightly, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on your jaw. Your attempts to be fake-mad at him never lasted long, especially when he did sweet things like this. You reciprocated by pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. This led to a playful kiss battle, each peck and smooch more intense than the last until you fell defeated, collapsing into a fit of giggles when he playfully attacked your lips with his.

masterlist

[kithtaehyung]

seven days (m) (teaser) | jjk

POSTED HERE JULY 22ND, 2023!!  upcoming series: seven days (m)  pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x reader(f) genre/rating: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; roommates to lovers au  summary: you dump yet another guy that wasn’t up to your “ten day standards,” which leaves your cocky ass, very off-limits roommate to tease your single status yet again. but the teasing is always expected. what’s not expected, is the bet that you make without thinking. the bet that even though you give ten days, he wouldn’t even last seven. warnings: cursing, alcohol/vape mentions, parties, he wears glasses sometimes😔👍, chains bc it’s tradition atp lmaooo, cocky!jk, feelings🤕, big big big jk, flirty!jk, baddie!reader😌, multiple explicit scenes🫠, jk constantly in grey sweatpants and nothing else :))), full lists to be revealed each chapter! notes: …so this song called seven dropped and— notes 2: but really there was a fic that had been in the wips for a minute, and i just so happened to have a burst of energy to expand on it so here we are! making it a series to allow myself time to dedicate meaningful energy to each scene and not rush them💕 est. chapters: prologue | mon | tue | wed | thurs | fri | sat | sun | seven days est. running dates: july-september 2023 taglist: sign up here (i check every entry so read the rules!) teaser: below the cut if you want a taste 🩵

—

—

“Sure did,” Jungkook puffs before stepping away, taking all the tight space with him and letting you breathe again. “But all I’m saying is, you gotta lower your standards or—” 

“No.”

“Or,” he continues, giving you a look, “Not complain if they’re too high.” 

“Well, thank you.” With your nose grazing the sky, you point out, “I’d like to think they’re just right.” 

“What even are they anyway? All you’ve said is something about ten days.”

“That’s basically it,” you murmur, resting your arms on the island as to not have your chest in full view. “If I still like someone after ten days, I know I’d be fine dating them for real.” 

There’s silence when you finish. When you finally look, the gawk you’re getting in return almost makes you laugh. “What?”

“You mean those days are only a trial run?” 

You do break into laughter this time, burying your face in slight shyness. “And what about it!” 

“Are you serious—?” Jungkook rounds the island so that he can speak directly at your hidden features. “Has anyone even gotten past all ten with you?”

You pause, breath fanning the granite top beneath you and wisping around your face. When you lift your gaze above your arms, you keep it trained on the countertop instead of his curiosity, 

“No.” 

He doesn’t say a word. 

“Not since my standards changed.” 

And you think that’s the end of this conversation. Because what else is there to say? You know your expectations are impossible but you think this is a hell of a lot better than—

“I could do it.” 

“What.” A glare is shot. “Absolutely not.” 

“Why not?”

“You? No.” You shake your head. “You wouldn’t even last seven.” 

“Try me,” he challenges, and you still can’t take him seriously despite the fire in his eyes. “I’ve lasted a lot more than that as your roommate, right?” 

“But that’s—this is—this is different! Be for real, Kook.” You vacate the island and head to your room, having enough of his teasing for one morning. 

But you get stopped at the doorway, a bare chest and chains blocking your vision and sending your mind into a frenzy. When you flick your gaze to his face, he simply says, with the straightest expression,

“I am.”

--

--

--

tbc. :))

🦋 soooo how do we feel !! | wanna be tagged? 🩵

a/n: yeah idk what happened to me. one moment i was saying i wasn't gonna get bitten by the seven bug, and the next.. well. this happened lol. anyway! taglist is on a form so that i can easily keep track of who to tag. pls make sure to either tell me ur age in the survey or to have it on your blog bc i check all entries when tagging. prologue is already written and will be up soon! ++ ⇥ masterlist

[idrawweirdstuffnominors]

I saw your Girl dad! Josh post!

….Bill in his girl dad arc when (JK! JK!….unless)

(Lol lock tf in chat this is gonna get interesting to say the least

Bill dickey as a Girl Dad headcannons

1. "You're Not Dating Anyone Until You're Thirty-Five."

Bill is insanely overprotective but in the worst possible way. He doesn't trust anyone, especially boys. If his daughter so much as mentions a crush, he launches into a 15-minute rant about how “men are scum, and I should know, because I am one!”

2. Turns Her into a Nerd by Force.

He starts her on comics, sci-fi, and horror movies from the womb. Think “Alien” at age six and mandatory Sunday night viewings of Twilight Zone.

“You don’t get to sleep until you can name the entire creative team behind Swamp Thing vol. 2.”

3. Absolutely Cannot Handle Emotions.

She cries? He panics. He just stands there holding a Mountain Dew can like, “Uh… do you want… a Funko Pop or something? Stop leaking! I didn’t raise a weakling!”

4. The Most Toxic PTA Parent Ever.

He shows up to school meetings in a black trench coat, rants about the school’s media literacy failures, and says things like, “If my daughter’s being bullied, I will sue. I have lawyers. I know people on forums. Don’t test me.”

5. Secretly the Best Coach in a Weird Way.

Bill is a ruthless perfectionist when she shows interest in anything creative. “If you’re gonna draw anime, do it right. These proportions? Amateur. You call this anatomy? This is CalArts-tier crap, and I won’t allow it under my roof.”

But his standards push her to be really, really good—even if she wants to murder him half the time.

6. Grudgingly Proud Dad Mode

She wins an art contest or aces a project? He brags nonstop for a month—but never directly to her face.

“She’s not bad. I mean, obviously she got the talent from me. But yeah, whatever. I guess she’s okay.”

7. Hyper Fixates on Her Interests to “Vet” Them

If she likes something he doesn’t understand (like K-pop), he goes full rage-research mode. Watches 6-hour YouTube essays. Then returns to say things like:

“Okay. So this Jungkook guy? I guess he’s talented. Still don’t trust him.”

8. Accidentally Raises a Girl Just Like Him

One day she quotes The Thing perfectly, destroys a boy in an online debate, and calls someone a “poser” for not knowing Kirby’s original designs. Bill just stares and mutters, “My work here is done.”

9. Will Go to War for Her

She never sees it, but if anyone seriously messes with her? He’s already on the dark web tracking their IP address. His threats are too specific.

“You want me to drop their home address or are we playing the long game?”

10. Sentimental? Nope. Never. (Okay, Maybe Once.)

He keeps a photo of her in his wallet, folded and beat up. He never talks about it.

But sometimes, when she’s not around, he looks at it and sighs.

“She’s… fine. Not like she makes me proud or anything. Idiot.”

“The Coat”

Bill was elbow-deep in a tote labeled "CON BADGES / UNTOUCHED GARBAGE", muttering under his breath about how these kids wouldn’t know practical effects if they crawled out of a latex womb, when his daughter walked in—dragging the massive, beat-up orange flannel from the back of his closet behind her.

It was practically a robe on her. Oversized, worn, and clinging to the smell of years of conventions, bad takeout, and Bill’s lingering rage.

Daughter:

“…Can I wear this to school tomorrow?”

Bill turned like she’d just asked to burn his comic collection.

Bill:

“That? You mean my coat? The coat I wore to every screening of The Thing between ‘92 and ‘06? The coat I nearly got kicked out of Wizard World for wearing over a Gremlins tee because some idiot thought I was doing a bit?”

Daughter: (nodding calmly)

“Yeah. That one.”

Bill: (offended beyond comprehension)

“Why would you want to wear that? You trying to look like a failed screenwriter with back problems?!”

Daughter:

“It’s warm. And I like how it smells. Like… your weird soap and burnt pizza.”

Bill: (pointing dramatically)

“That’s character! You don’t earn that smell, you live in it.”

Daughter:

“I want to live in it. Just for the day.”

That shut him up for a second. He looked at her—dwarfed by his rage-blanket of a coat, arms poking out like she was wrapped in a sleeping bag—and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like: “…you’re a menace…”

Bill: (grumbling)

“Fine. But if anyone spills anything on it, anyone—you, your friends, some gluten-free goober with a juice box—I will rain hellfire upon that school. I will march in there, I will quote John Carpenter until they expel themselves, and I will not be held responsible for what happens next.”

Daughter: (grinning)

“Love you too, Dad.”

Bill:

“I didn’t say that. I don’t believe in love. I believe in practical effects and staying angry.”

She rolled her eyes, already backing out of the room.

Daughter:

“Sure. I’ll be careful. I swear on your limited edition ‘Murder of Crows’ box set.”

Bill: (horrified)

“DON’T YOU JOKE ABOUT THAT—!”

But she was gone. And he was left staring at the empty spot where the coat had been, rubbing his temples and muttering:

Bill:

“Kid’s gonna be the death of me. In the best possible way.”

[muniimyg]

falling in love 》 series m.list

note: for the sake of timelines ,, let's say this extra takes place around ch 5 !!! the text (pic 1) is considered part 1 for this extra <3 hope that makes sense !!!

warnings: implied smut !!! jk is abt to eat her out lol

taglist request: CLOSED

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar

//

“Oh, what the fuck? How’d you get in?” 

Jungkook’s eyes are barely open, but he is already lifting his covers for you to join him. He can’t help but offer you a sleepy smirk as you undress your outside layer. Eyeing your thin and flimsy pajamas, you attempt to sound strict and lay the boundary for tonight.

“Stop looking at me like that…” You warn. “Jungkook, we are not fucking.”

He puts his hands up, pouting innocently. “Can we revisit the topic after your meeting?”

You glare at him. 

“... Fine,” you huff, settling beside him. Jungkook feels instant relief as he reaches for your body and pulls you closer. 

Happily, he wraps his arms around you, resting his head on your stomach. He has waited for this all day. It was the one thing he was looking forward to. Even if you didn't come, he was looking forward to dreaming about it. Yet, here you are... Holding him like he's all yours.

Which he is.

The placement is just a little shy under your boobs, so you can’t blame him when he sneakily slides his hand under your shirt and squeezes them. 

“Jungkook!” you laugh, playfully pushing him away. “Seriously? Just wait an hour.”

“So we are fucking after your meeting? In an hour to be exact?”

You purse your lips at him. “Pookie, can’t you just behave?”

He ponders. Then, he remembers he doesn’t give a shit. 

“When does your meeting start?” He asks. 

You reach over for your laptop and turn the screen on. Reading the time, you shrug at him in response. “Hmmm... In like 20 minutes.”

“20 minutes is enough time,” Jungkook insists, giving you no time to escape. Hastily, he places small and sweet kisses on your lips and then on your cheeks. 

Giggling, you push him off with a groan. “Yah, Jungkook—”

“Oh come on, pookie! Did you really think my back was the only thing that was gonna get rubbed tonight?”

Your mouth drops. 

Jungkook laughs heartily as you roll your eyes at him and complain about his unhinged behaviour. Once your whining dies down, he pulls you even closer and sinks into your body. He holds you tight as you rub his back. 

“Were you napping to ignore your problems?” you ask him quietly. “And can you—holy shit—I can’t breathe! Do you have to hold me so tight?”

It feels like your bones are about to be crushed. Jungkook’s body is warm and so fucking beefy. It’s comfortable and all but wow do you need some air. In response, he buries his face in your body, tightening his grip. You let out a squeal. 

“Yes,” he murmurs. “If I don’t, you might run away.”

Dramatically, you gasp for air. “J-Jungkook, I won’t run away. I’m in my pajamas. I’d have to get dressed first, of course!”

Your joke doesn’t amuse him. 

“When I fall asleep… You might leave.” Jungkook says, revealing his hidden feelings. 

You bite your inner cheek, navigating through your feelings. Honestly, his room was warmly lit… It’s pretty chilly tonight… Not to mention that it is getting kind of late… Maybe you should stay the night. Although it’s kind of funny he assumed you were going to leave. Never have you ever done that to him. Never ever could you do it. 

“I’ll only leave if you snore.” You tease him, booping his nose. “Also, I didn’t know you were such a light sleeper."

He scrunches his nose in response. “Now you know. Take note for next time,” Jungkook yawns. “And yeah… I didn’t know if you were actually coming so I thought I would just sleep off my bad mood.”

“Did it work?”

Jungkook lets out a drowsy-like chuckle. “No. You woke me up.”

“Geez, okay… I’ll leave—”

Jungkook plops up on his elbows and hisses, “Shut up and listen to my day, woman. You’re the only good thing in my life so you’re not allowed to leave. Don’t even joke about that. God, you’re so fucking mean—”

You cup his cheeks and bring his lips to yours. Kissing him gently, you add another peck as you pull away. Holding his face close, you kiss his cheeks and murmur, “Hmmm, sorry, sorry…”

He huffs, pouting for another kiss. You give in. 

Then, he begins to ramble about all the things that made his day so horrible. 

You lay there, rubbing his back, and offer a few, “Mhmm,”’s “Oh, seriously?” and a few, “Eww. No, you’re so right. That sounds awful. I’d be upset too.” Listening to his tired voice makes you sleepy. Not that he’s boring but more because it was so soothing. That’s something you would have never admitted a few months ago…

But things change. 

He changed.

You changed too. 

Unexpectedly, being together is so comforting. Despite being each other's pain in the ass, you two were always there for each other. You two, for some odd reason, have begun to need one another. 

Each other’s warmth, each other’s touch, and each other’s presence—all of it. 

God, you two just made everything better for one another.

If falling in love was a feeling… This is it. 

Being with Jungkook is so easy.

Like... You never understood when people said that about their significant other, but now you do. The weird part is... He isn't even yours.

It's like whenever you have issues that are blown up in your head, he doesn’t try to find solutions. Instead, he listens and helps you reflect. Jungkook has a good understanding of what is his to handle and honestly? He handles you well. 

Besides, being with you is his favourite part of living. It’s as if his body wasn’t aching from the 4 hour long soccer practice. It’s as if nothing mattered because at the end of the day—if it meant that he could be with you. 

Your meeting goes smoothly. Jungkook behaves (let’s give him a gold star!) and at one point, he falls asleep. His little snores made you roll your eyes, but it didn’t motivate you to leave. If anything, it’s the reason you stayed. When the call ends, Jungkook slides his hands down your shorts and chuckles. 

“Forgot to eat dinner,” he claims, peaking with one eye. “Lemme eat that pussy…”

You blink at him. 

He returns your look with a pout. 

“Pretty please?”

You stay still. 

Then, he huffs and abruptly gets up. “You’re so annoying,” Jungkook groans as he walks to his door. Just as he’s about to leave, he makes his final comment. “Do you know how hard it was to not eat you out while you were being all cute and academic? I behaved and now I’m starving. I’m gonna make some food. You craving anything—oh fuck yes.”

Jungkook’s words are cut off as you fling your panties onto his face. 

He blinks at you, scrunching your panties in his hands. His eyes almost fall out of his head as you open your legs and lean back against his headboard. Oh, god... He is so lucky. Today truly is the best day of his life.

Jungkook watches with steady eyes as you lift your flimsy top to expose your breasts. Then, you put your hands to your sides and grip his bed sheets. He loves the way you look right now... It's mesmerizing.

Therefore, Jungkook wastes no time.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..." He praises your body, more than ready to dive in. You roll your eyes at him but secretly love this. You know you do. You feel it between your legs and even in your heart.

He positions himself in between your legs and kisses your inner thigh. As he begins, you grip his hair with one hand and whimper, "y-you... Craving you."

[justarkive]

The Jeons | 12

12 : Mission… accomplished?

summary: a collection of chaotic family drabbles. thats it.

contents: family!au, non.idol jungkook, girl!dad jk, fluff, angst, sensitive topics + smut sometimes!

• chapter contents: inspired by that one scene in despicable me (iykyk) !! fluff + humour!! jk slips and eats shit on the floor LOL , hana being clueless, idk not much else

• taglist: @jenniebyrubies @lovingkoalaface @iamstilljk @elinaki92 @rpwprpwprpwprw @mafersame @parkinglot-nights @reallygenerouskoala @mimi1097 @aznstoner @jungshaking @pinkpunkdynamite (cmnt to be added)

masterlist, series masterlist

It’s quiet. Too quiet.

Hana’s in the middle of the living room, doodling on her little pink drawing tablet, and you’re mindlessly scrolling through your phone, enjoying the peaceful lull of the afternoon.

Then, out of nowhere—

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

Jungkook bursts in, slipping on the hardwood floor like a cartoon character, arms flailing, barely catching himself before completely eating shit. He’s soaking wet, still covered in soap suds, wearing nothing but a pair of black briefs that are sticking to him like a second skin.

You blink.

Hana blinks.

Jungkook, completely ignoring your judgmental stare, frantically whispers, “Baby. We have NO TIME. CLOSE THE CURTAINS.”

You stare harder. “Did you forget your clothes, or is soap just… the new look?”

Hana tilts her head innocently. “Dada? Why wet?”

“No time, princess—JUST CLOSE THE CURTAINS.”

You don’t move. “Jeon Jungkook. What have you done?”

Before he can answer, there’s a loud knock at the door.

Jungkook damn near shrieks, grabbing your arm and dragging you behind the sofa with him. You barely have time to yelp before you find yourself squished next to your soap-slathered husband, watching as your poor, unsuspecting toddler is left standing alone in the middle of the room, clutching her stuffed bunny.

Jungkook whisper-shouts, “HANA, BABY—TELL THE MAN MAMA AND DADA ARE NOT HOME.”

Hana turns toward the door, then back to her father, tilting her head. “But Mama and Dada here?”

Jungkook grimaces, whispering so intensely it might as well be a stage performance, “GOD, HANA, JUST—” He stops himself, inhaling sharply before softening his tone. “Princess, please, open the door and tell him we’re not home, okay?”

You’re actively biting your lip to hold back a laugh, watching as Jungkook—this grown-ass man—crouches behind the couch, soap suds still clinging to his skin like a freshly bathed Golden Retriever.

You whisper, “Can’t we just… not answer?”

Jungkook deadpans. “HE’LL BREAK THE DAMN DOOR.”

Hana, sighing heavily as if she is the one dealing with a crisis, waddles to the door and opens it just a crack.

There stands the bane of Jungkook’s existence—his old colleague, the overly enthusiastic, slightly unhinged, never-knows-when-to-leave Seungmin.

Seungmin, all chunky and towering over your little girl, grins down at her. “Hey, kiddo! Where’s your dad?”

Hana, clutching her teddy for emotional support, peeks over her shoulder at Jungkook, who’s hiding in the shadows, frantically mouthing something and doing wild hand movements.

Unfortunately, Hana—being a toddler and, well, Hana—completely misinterprets it.

She nods very seriously and looks up at Seungmin. “Dada say he… went to the farm.”

Your eyes widen. Jungkook looks horrified.

Seungmin blinks. “The farm?”

Hana nods aggressively. “Yes. Dada say he go milk the…cow.”

You choke on air. Jungkook is wildly shaking his head, but Hana—committed to the bit—squints at him for further instructions.

Jungkook, panicking, mouths NOT HOME while pressing his palms together like he’s praying.

Hana furrows her brows, squinting hard, then turns back to Seungmin. “Dada say… he… sleeping. With da cow?”

Seungmin raises a brow. “He’s sleeping… with the cow?”

Jungkook dies a little.

You’re vibrating trying to hold in your laughter.

Seungmin, now skeptical, crosses his arms. “Alright, kid. If he’s not home, then I’ll just come inside and wait.”

Jungkook panics.

Before you can stop him, he BOLTS to the door—

SLIPS—

EATS SHIT ON THE FLOOR—

You GASP.

Hana GASPS.

Seungmin looks mortified.

But Jungkook is up in an instant, scrambling to his feet, WET and FROTHING, and—

SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT.

Complete silence.

You’re just staring at him. Hana is just staring at him.

And Jungkook, completely breathless, soaking wet, covered in remnants of bubbles, hands on his knees, just mutters, “Mission… accomplished.”