#jj & hotch
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noalarmssnnosurprises · 4 months ago
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your camera roll if you worked at the bau (pictures that if you’re colleagues found out you had…they would kill you) ((and get away with it))
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scarlettjemily · 4 months ago
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My three FBI agents watching me through my phone while I read the filthiest smuttiest fics at 3am
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youbutstupid · 6 months ago
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Gideon: I’ve been unit chief
Hotch: so have I
Morgan: I’ve acted as unit chief
JJ: same here
Rossi: yeah same
Prentiss: I am currently unit chief
Reid: what, I’ve not been unit chief
The bureau: that’s because you’re the most unstable person we’ve ever met and you seem to have no respect for authority or the protocol but hide it under a meek demeanor
Reid: lmao fair
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criminal-mindsincorrect · 1 year ago
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Emily, walking in the meeting room : Hi everyone
No answer
Emily : Guys ??
Penelope : We can't hear dead people.
Everyone : nods
Emily : You guys are so dramatic it was ONE TIME
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spenc3-reid · 26 days ago
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Pt 2
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wistfulwatcher · 6 months ago
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wardengrill · 10 months ago
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we’re gonna do this all together, just like a family
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kiwriteswords · 1 month ago
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05x09 || 07x23-24
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frankiebirds · 5 months ago
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i'm very normal about the team taking care of jj on the jet after 5x7. just. so normal. (lying)
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enamoredwithbella · 1 year ago
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The hyper-sexuality I feel during ovulation week needs to be studied by esteemed scientists and doctors. This can NOT be normal
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5 mins without the strap: we’re dead in the water here. Send up the flares.
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noalarmssnnosurprises · 4 months ago
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My little baby and her work parents
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your camera roll if you worked at the bau (selfie edition) ((aka, don’t leave your phone unattended around your coworkers))
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ladycaramelswirl · 4 months ago
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It Happened in Texas
Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader ❤︎ Chapter 1: Apparently you have a magnet for shitty bosses
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series masterlist
A/N: For plot purposes, Haley is not in the picture, but Jack does appear later in the story. Also I gave Strauss some of Linda Barnes’s personality so she’s really annoying :)
Tags/Warnings: mentions of violence typical to Criminal Minds. This becomes a comedy in chapter 2, but chapter 1 is very world/character-buildy, sorry 😭 It gets funnier I swear 🤡
The case in this chapter is loosely based on s3e8.
word count: 2k
Enjoy! 🤍
❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎
“Absolutely not”.
The dark-haired man tries to rein in his barely concealed anger at his boss, who, honestly, you weren’t exactly a huge fan of right now either. He gestures to you.
“I don’t know anything about her. It’s my job to decide whether someone is a good fit for the team”, he scowls. Frankly, you’re impressed that he hasn’t exploded.
“Agent Hotchner, I have hired her because I think she���s perfectly capable of doing the job”. 
You swallow a scoff. Sure. That’s why.
“My decision is final. And you have a case to get to”, Strauss snaps.
Agent Hotchner glares at her as she walks away. Then he turns his stare to you. 
“We’re leaving for a case in 10 minutes. Do you have your go bag?”, he asks, not unkindly.
“Yes sir.”
He nods and walks towards the BAU bullpen. You follow him. 
“I trust you’ll keep this altercation between us”, he tells you. “I don’t want the team to be distracted”.
“Yes, sir”.
“Just call me Hotch.”
“Yes, s- Hotch”.
He’s being pretty nice given the situation he’s been put in. But you wonder, not for the first time today, if you should have turned down this job.
————————————
15 minutes ago
“Come in”.
You step into the office of the blonde woman you’d interviewed with. She had been quite pleasant then.
“Assistant Director Strauss”, you greet her.
“Agent. Take a seat. I’d like to discuss some things before I introduce you to your unit chief”.
You wonder what the unit chief is like. You’d heard great things about Aaron Hotchner from your former colleagues. 
“As I’m sure you know this position at the BAU is a highly coveted opportunity”, she starts.
“Yes ma’am”.
“I’d like you to be comfortable here, so I hope we can work together to make that happen”.
Oh?
“Thank you ma’am. I’ll do my best.”
“Excellent! I’ll be expecting an additional personal report for all of your cases.”
“I’m sorry?”
She smiles at you like you’re stupid.
“Agent Hotchner might run a tight ship, but it’s my job to make sure it runs smoothly”, she tells you. “So I just need you to give me details about your cases. No need to mention it to Agent Hotchner, just write the report and send it straight to me.”
“You want me to report on the team? Without telling them?”
This was not what you signed up for.
She laughs mirthlessly. 
“It’s just a report agent. Think of it as a … peer evaluation. I just want to make sure there’s no issues. I’m sure you would understand. Especially after what happened in Houston?”
You grit your teeth. Of course she knew.
“Yes ma’am”.
You try to smile.
“I knew I was right to hire you”, she says. 
You both know you’re only here because she was the only one who accepted your transfer request. 
“Agent. If this conversation leaves this room, you’ll have to understand why I can no longer keep you on this team”.
Fantastic. You were already getting threatened on your first day. 
You plaster on a smile.
“Of course.”
She smiles back, just as fake.
“Great. Now I’ll introduce you to Agent Hotchner. You’ll have to forgive him for his … attitude”, she says contemptuously. “He’s going through a rough time”.
And now your boss was moody too? You were regretting come here by the second. 
Strauss presses the intercom button on her phone.
“Send him in”.
The door is opened by a tall, handsome man. He’s maybe in his late 30s, and he’s well dressed. He has authority figure written all over him, but he looks confused to see you.
“Assistant Director?”, he greets. You suspect it’s not often that he’s walked into a situation where he doesn’t know what’s happening. An exception being right now.
“Agent Hotchner, come in. I’d like you to meet Agent Y/L/N”.
He stretches a hand forward and you shake it. 
“Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise”.
He looks at Strauss. 
“What is this about?”
Strauss looks like she’s holding back a grin. 
“She’ll be joining the BAU effective immediately”.
Agent Hotchner looks like he’s just been handed a bomb.
———————————— 
Present
He doesn’t talk to you at all as you’re climbing into the jet. The team don’t pretend to hide their shock at your arrival. Hotch quickly introduces you and then takes a seat at the back. You politely smile at their wide eyes, but inside you try to fight the urge to turn around and go kick Strauss in the shin. She didn’t even tell them she was hiring you. Unbelievable. This day could not get any worse. The team starts asking you all sorts of questions. Hotch cuts them off.
“That’s enough. Brief us on the case JJ”.
They all follow his directive immediately. A pretty blonde woman who must be JJ hands everyone on the team a file. There’s a pause as everyone realises you don’t have one, because she didn’t know you would be here. A dark haired woman who introduces herself as Emily offers to share hers with you. You smile at her gratefully and try to be invisible as JJ briefs the team. 
—————————
Your first case is in Bridgewater, Florida. A girl has been found with her body eaten by alligators, her fingers cut off and a pentagram carved into her chest. It’s not exactly a great first day welcome. Hotch comes back from the coroner’s office with news that the victim had been force fed fingers before her death. And that none of them were hers, and six of them are index fingers. Remember when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse? This was definitely worse. You wince at the news and Emily looks at you with concern.
“You okay?”
You nod, but notice JJ and Agent Morgan discreetly share a dubious look. The latter turns to face you. 
“Field offices aren’t exactly the same as the BAU. If you’re not up to it-“
“I’m fine. I’d just like to catch the guy that did this”, you tell him. 
You refuse to look weak or feed into the suspicion that you don’t deserve to be here. Morgan stares at you before nodding in agreement and moving away to look over some files. You do the same to avoid any more conversation, and then notice something strange. You pull out a photo.
“This crime scene shows the books the victim was carrying were arranged into a neat row. This specific placement could suggest the unsub was at some point in a mental institution”.
Morgan looks doubtful, but still takes a look. 
Agent Reid springs up. “Of course! When the severely mentally ill are institutionalised, they’re taught to keep things clean and neat to promote order, exactly like the books in that photo!”
You’re a little speechless at his enthusiasm, but it seems his confirmation convinces the team, who now look a little less skeptical about your abilities. They call Garcia to check for names and update Hotch. Garcia calls back about a specific mental institution for a case like the one you’re looking for. Hotch immediately stands up to leave.
“Reid, let’s go”, he orders. The young genius scuttles after him. 
They find a name for the unsub, Floyd Feylinn Ferrel - a cannibal that believes he’s possessed by a flesh eating demon. He was also at the search party earlier to look for a missing girl. The team finds him, but one victim is still missing - Tracy Lambert. Floyd refuses to talk without Father Marks, the priest at his church. They bring him into the interrogation room with Morgan while you and Rossi pore over the sign in sheets from the search party. You frown. 
“Somethings wrong”, you mutter. The older agent looks at you in confusion.
“He signed the volunteer sheet, but not the search team sheet. It doesn’t make sense”, you say, handing him the papers. Usually unsubs joined the search team. Why would he just volunteer to be there?
“Father, I feel so alone. Like God has abandoned me”, Floyd laments. 
The priest shakes his head kindly. “You are not alone, my son. God is in all of us”.
Your stomach drops as you see exactly what Floyd had volunteered for - the food station. 
“We need to stop the interview”, you panic, flinging open the interrogation room door. 
Floyd stares right at you and grins. 
“So is Tracy Lambert”.
—————————
The plane ride back is quiet. You thankfully hadn’t eaten anything at the search, but you still feel nauseous. Is this what all BAU cases were like? Maybe it wasn’t too late to reapply somewhere else? Your unit chief interrupts your thoughts.
“Good job today Reid, we wouldn’t have caught him if you hadn’t noticed the books”, he says. You freeze in your seat, but the younger agent doesn’t notice your discomfort. In fact he barely looks up from his book to correct the unit chief. 
“Actually it wasn’t me that figured it out. It was y/n”.
Hotch looks taken aback and he turns to you, which leads to some awkward eye contact. He looks pained, but he gives you a nod and then moves to the back of the plane. 
Emily nudges your elbow from her seat next to yours. 
“You did good today. He’ll come around”, she tells you. 
“I really didn’t know that no one was informed of my transfer-”, you try to explain, but she stops you.
“I know better than anyone how you feel right now. As long as you do your job and are loyal to the team, everything’s going to be fine”. 
You nod. 
“Look, today was a rough case. We’re going for drinks when we land. Want to come?”, she offers.
You think about the report you’re about to write for Strauss tonight, detailing everything that just happened today. It’s going to take you hours to make sure it doesn’t incriminate anyone on the team. 
“No, I’m tired, but thanks. You guys have fun”.
On the drive home, you realise that you won’t ever be friends with them. You were a spy, even if you didn’t want to be. 
You had come here to escape. Instead, you had just traded one prison for another. 
————————————
Emily enters Penelope’s office to pick her up before drinks.
Penelope greets her with a guilty look.
“Ok. I did something, but don’t be mad. I looked into her file”.
“Pen!”
“What? She’s new, I don’t like new. And we don’t know anything about her. Don’t you want to know how she got hired without Hotch’s approval?”
Emily raises an eyebrow.
“I was hired without Hotch’s approval.”
Penelope gives her puppy eyes and Emily gives in.
“Fine. What did you find?”
The analyst practically lights up.
“Ok, so she graduated the FBI academy with high scores. Went straight to the Houston field office and she was very good at her job - excellent peer reviews and high scores on all of her evaluations”, Penelope starts, putting all of your personal data onto her screen. “Almost everything about her is perfect. Except-“, she clicks on a file. “About two months ago she suddenly requested a transfer to basically every department that was hiring and got rejected by almost all of them. Except ours”. 
Emily frowns. “She has stellar performance evaluations but no one wants to hire her? And why was she so desperate to transfer?”
“Yeah, I thought that was weird too, so I looked into it, but there’s nothing. Except that in her last month at Houston, she isn’t listed on a single one of their cases.”
“None?”
“It’s like she didn’t exist, but she was there every day, I checked her attendance and it’s flawless”.
Emily presses her lips together. She remembers how much she had tried to seal her own history. 
“I don’t think we should be looking anymore. If whatever happened isn’t in the database, then we aren’t meant to see it. She’ll tell us when she’s ready”.
Penelope looks apprehensive, but she closes the files. 
“She’s really nice! And she’s good, she helped us solve the case today”, Emily tries to convince the IT specialist. 
“I’m telling you something is fishy”.
Emily might not say it out loud, but she definitely agreed.
❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎
Chapter 2
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youbutstupid · 7 months ago
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-A Job That Slowly Kills You-
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-Bruises That Won’t Heal-
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criminal-mindsincorrect · 1 year ago
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Policeman : And you guys are ?
Emily : Tired
Spencer : Dead inside
JJ : Anxious
Morgan : Hungry
Hotch :
Hotch : We're the BAU
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