#jim jost

[waltermis]

I JUST WATCHED FLY ME TO THE MOON!!! IT WAS AMAZING! SUPER FUNNY AND THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN SCARLETT AND CHANNING WAS MIND BLOWING! WOODY AND JIM WERE HILAROUS!!

COLIN WAS RLLY FUNNY TOO!

I'M NOT GONNA SPOIL ANYTHING SO... I RECOMMEND WATCHING IT THO! 8.5/10

ALSO! SCARLETT WAS SO GORGEOUS ON THERE! I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER IN CINEMA SO IT WAS MIND BLOWING FOR ME!!!

THANKS FOR READING AND GOOD-BYE!!

[bkenber]

'Fly Me To The Moon' - A Pleasant Surprise

I came into “Fly Me To The Moon” with a bit of trepidation. On the surface, it looks like a fluffy and light hearted romantic comedy, the kind of film I typically avoid like the plague. Also, a portion of its story seemed determined to prove that the Apollo 11 mission and landing on the moon could have been faked, and I take major exception at anyone attempting trying to prove how that “one small…

[movies-to-add-to-your-tbw]

Title: Fly Me to the Moon

Rating: PG-13

Director: Greg Berlanti

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, Woody Harrelson, Jim Rash, Ray Romano, Nick Dillenburg, Anna Garcia, Noah Robbins, Colin Woodell, Christian Zuber, Donald Watkins, Peter Jacobson, Kyle S. Brown, Jessie Mueller, Colin Jost

Release year: 2024

Genres: romance, drama, comedy

Blurb: Sparks fly in all directions as marketing maven Kelly Jones, brought in to fix NASA's public image, wreaks havoc on Apollo 11 launch director Cole Davis' already difficult task of putting a man on the moon. When the White House deems the mission too important to fail, Kelly is directed to stage a fake moon landing as backup, and the countdown truly begins.

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

FLY ME TO THE MOON (2024)

Starring Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, Jim Rash, Anna Garcia, Donald Elise Watkins, Noah Robbins, Colin Woodell, Christian Zuber, Nick Dillenburg, Ray Romano, Woody Harrelson, Bill Barrett, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Joe Chrest, Colin Jost, Greg Kriek, Art Newkirk, Peter Jacobson, Ashley Kings, Jonathan Orea Lopez, Christian Clemenson and Eva Pilar.

Screenplay by Rose Gilroy.

Directed by Greg Berlanti.

Distributed by Columbia Pictures. 132 minutes. Rated PG-13.

“Fly me to the moon / Let me play among the stars / And let me see what spring is like / On Jupiter and Mars / In other words, hold my hand / In other words, baby, kiss me.”

It would be nice if the romantic comedy Fly Me To the Moon were as simple, frisky and romantic as the song from which it took its title. Honestly, sometimes it does reach those heights, but it has too much going on plot-wise and not enough romance and comedy to keep its story airborne.

That’s a shame, because this is one of very few rom coms which will be widely released this summer. I was hoping that this film would ignite, but that only happens periodically.

Fly Me To the Moon captures a particular place and time in American history – Cape Kennedy, Florida on the eve of the 1969 Apollo 11 launch and man’s first walk on the moon. It has an interesting cast of characters – scientists, astronauts, marketing specialists, shady government agents, far right-wing politicians and egomaniacal Hollywood directors. It’s old-fashioned, and yet it has things to say about modern society as well.  

So why does Fly Me To the Moon only sometimes reach lift-off?

Simply put, because they were trying to do too much. Added into the dish like an unnecessary spice is a whole section based on the old conspiracy theory that the moon landing was a fake made on a soundstage – quite possibly by Stanley Kubrick. (I will give Fly Me To the Moon props for a clever Kubrick gag in the middle of the action.)

This not-so-little subplot does not appear in the story until about an hour into the film, and honestly, it’s an unwelcome addition. Not only has the fakes space mission storyline been done way too often on film already – from the mostly forgotten but surprisingly good 1970s thriller Capricorn One to more recent films like Moonwalkers, Dark Side of the Moon and others. Hell, it was even a quick sight gag in Minions, which may be proof positive that this story is overdone.

To be quite honest, I think Fly Me To the Moon would have worked better had they simply jettisoned that storyline and had done a straight romance around the NASA launch of Apollo 11. The faking story makes more than one of the main characters look bad on a regular basis. Sure, it does give more ammunition to Woody Harrelson playing the shadowy Nixon operative behind the scheme – and Woody is very funny here – but he was very funny well before this plot thread was introduced. They could have found more for him to do in the original narrative.

Because what Fly Me To the Moon is really about – or at least it was until the storyline took that hard right turn – was the timid romance between two very different types of people who meet working on the leadup to the launch.

The woman is Kelly Jones (Scarlett Johansson), a smart, flirty and somewhat cynical public relations professional who has a sketchy past and some questionable methods. She has been hired by the government to start a buzz on the space program, which is still reeling from the tragic explosion of Apollo 1 a couple of years earlier. She has the hair of an astronaut’s wife, blood red lips and the va-va-voom pants suits and capris of a pin-up girl – all of which she uses to disarm the sexist guys she always has to deal with in business.

The guy is Cole Davis (Channing Tatum), the rather humorless former-aspiring-astronaut and scientist in charge of the mission. You can tell how button-down Cole is because throughout the length of the film he wears the exact same style of shirt – just in different colors. (He also has an odd-modern looking short-but layered haircut which is far from the crew cut which someone in his position would have worn.) You can also tell that he is repressed because the first time he meets Kelly – in a local diner – he acknowledges she is the most attractive woman he has ever seen. Still, he cock-blocks himself, telling her that he can’t get involved with anyone because of bad timing and the importance of his job.

I guess we should look at the elephant in the room here. While Johansson and Tatum are both undoubtedly gorgeous, they have very little chemistry together. This is mostly on Tatum’s side – and it may not even be the actor’s fault, it may just be the role as written. Still, it is a little hard to root for a happy-ever-after for these two.

However, taking a look at the space program at the height of its importance is endlessly fascinating. Had they maintained the view at the actual space landing rather than showing the less interesting attempts to recreate it, Fly Me To the Moon may have been something special. Instead it is a fairly good movie which had the potential to be very good.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2024 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: July 12, 2024.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Jim Toth also represented Scarlett. So I’m using this connection as an excuse to say how much I loved how she announced her wedding to Colin Jost. She did the meals on wheels announcement to bring attention to a charity. I thought it was so classy.

She’s really grown on me. She made some mistakes with ‘let me play a tree 🙄’ and said some other things, but she’s really put the work in for her career and her skincare line (I love the Outset’s serum. Highly recommend)

And yet I barely know anything about Scarlett’s personal life. She’s fun on social media with the Outset account, but didn’t make a big deal about either pregnancy, and never shared her wedding pics or many details at all. She’s a class lady.

Sorry just wanted to crush on Scarlett for a hot minute 😊

I'm just still mentally scarred by the sex in an elevator with Benicio del Toro story.

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (43/n)

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ)

Word Count: 2860

Warnings: A little bit of angst, but nothing bad, I promise. Probably language.

Need to start from the beginning? Here's where it all began! https://at.tumblr.com/brainrattlers/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-1n/p7no8u1hzuza

Want to catch up? Check out the Masterlist!

Author's Notes: I. Am. BACK!!! Short chapter, struggling a bit to find words, but I figured I'd get something posted, and then add some of the stuff brewing in the next few weeks than rush it all at once. It's been a wild few months, looking for a new job (I'm still employed, just looking to upgrade), but also adding a bunch of side gigs to my list of things I shouldn't be doing but here I am.

So what's going on with Tyson and AJ? Summer vacation has started, and these two have a few months to do whatever they want. Let the planning begin!

*****

While the season didn’t end quite as hoped by the Sabres, Tyson remained optimistic about things to come. His end-of-season exit interview went well, according to him, saying he wanted to be back with the team. Locker cleanout days are always a little emotional, but Tyson was in good spirits, all things considered.

AJ was trying to keep the same level of optimism, but her gut kept her guarded, knowing that a lot of what was to come was actually hinging on a few other players on the team. If Okie and Girgensons stay put, there was a good chance that there wouldn’t be a spot for Tyson. Not only that, but of course Tyson becomes a restricted free agent July 1st. And as is, Okie was signed to a single year contract. It now was falling on the fate of Girgensons.

So really, it was a game of “hurry up and wait.” AJ was starting to feel like that might just be how life was going to be from here on out with Tyson until a team realizes how much of a gem Tyson is. Granted, AJ is a little biased in her description of Tyson’s style of play and how much teams really could use a player like him…

“You know, we can go do whatever we want, right?” Tyson jostled AJ’s foot on his lap, noticing she was scrolling aimlessly on her phone. “I have some friends up in BC asking me to come out. You want to go on vacation? Grandma and Grandpa would love to see you again…”

“... really? Using Emily and Jim as bait to get me to up north? You play dirty, Tys.”

Tyson grinned, knowing AJ had a soft spot for his grandparents. She had lost hers years prior, and missed the grandparent vibe. You know the one, where you get spoiled, either with a favorite meal, or a $10 bill slid into your hand when mom wasn’t looking. It really isn’t even about the getting spoiled part either, there is something so special hearing all the stories from their past, learning bits and pieces about what made them the people they are today. It truly was something she missed with her own grandmothers since their passing. Emily and Jim definitely brought that vibe to her, and embraced her as their own grandchild.

AJ thought about it though, and Tyson could see the gears turning in her head. He waited patiently for her to say something more, because an idea was definitely brewing.

“What would you think about some summer shenanigans?” AJ squinted at Tyson, gauging his response to the vague proposition.

“What kind of shenanigans?”

To be honest, AJ was missing some of her old friends. The world can feel so small with the internet, bringing people together digitally, but it’s just not the same as in person. AJ missed seeing Jess. It’d been months since they were in the same space, meeting up back in February in St. Louis. She missed Nate. She missed some of the other friends she made in Denver during her brief time there.

“I was thinking maybe talking to Jess, and as soon as she could, maybe a couples’ trip with her and Nate? Like maybe they come up here, or we go out there, or… we meet up somewhere? I’m not sure yet. I hadn’t really asked her either, but I know she’d be down. The only hindrance at the moment is…” AJ got quiet, realizing what she was going to have to say, “Nate’s still in the playoffs.” 

AJ cringed at having to say that, considering how last season went. Thankfully, Tyson’s work on himself last summer and this year with family and a sports psychologist really helped his mental game. He nodded in understanding, and didn’t even flinch. Buffalo made a good run at the playoffs, but just came up short. It was going to whole new level for the team next season, so right now, his feelings were not hurt by the statement.

This time, it was Tyson that got a little quiet, chewing on his lip for a minute before responding.

“I’m sorry I hadn’t brought it up sooner, but a few of the guys are talking about heading down to Hilton Head, kind of an end of season guys trip,” Tyson sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, “We’d be leaving Monday.”

“It’s okay, you know I’ve got plenty going on here, besides, it’s not like my plan can happen quite yet anyway. But would you be interested, if they are?”

A smile broke out on Tyson’s face, followed by a nod. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to AJ’s temple. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a blast. You’re the best babe!”

AJ chuckled as Tyson skipped off to the bedroom. Looking around the living room, kind of lost in thought, she grabbed her phone.

AJ: Would you and Nate be up for some shenanigans this summer?

Not even a minute had passed before AJ’s phone was vibrating in her palm.

Jess: We’re in.

***

AJ got used to Tyson being away on roadies, and she always found things she could do that she enjoyed while he was gone. Eating food that he didn’t like (or shouldn’t eat, and likely, she probably shouldn’t eat either), sprawling out in bed, listening exclusively to her music, staying up late and watching cheesy movies… stuff like that. It was nice to have AJ time. 

But truth be told, AJ missed Tyson while he was on the guys’ trip. He was checking in multiple times daily (and getting absolutely roasted for it), but it didn’t make up for the little things she was missing, like him wrapping his arms around her midsection as she’d chop vegetables for dinner, swaying to the music they had on in the kitchen. The random notes that would be written in the steam on the bathroom mirror.  The way Tyson would pull AJ in as the little spoon, mumbling incoherently as he drifted off to sleep.

Even the kinda gross things, because, let’s face it, Tyson’s a guy, AJ missed. The way Tyson would burp after chugging a protein shake. How he’d stick his stinky sock feet in AJ’s face when they were laying opposite each other on the sofa together. The occasional facial hair clippings littering the sink in the bathroom. (Although that was just more irritating than gross.)

AJ was simply missing Tyson.

After cleaning the kitchen up from breakfast, AJ headed to the hobby room, and flopped on the sofa, where one of Tyson’s hoodies was thrown on. Rolling over, she reached up over her head and grabbed it, spying which one it was. It smelled faintly of his body wash as she inhaled, sighing into it. Although not really cold, AJ put it on and fell asleep in a somewhat warm embrace of his hoodie.

The buzzing of her watch urged AJ to open her eyes as a certain someone was wanting to FaceTime.

A very groggy looking AJ appeared on Tyson’s screen.

“Hey baby girl, I didn’t wake you up, did I? Is… that my hoodie?”

AJ rubbed her eyes and looked down, and back at her phone camera with a smile.

“I suppose it is. I was napping but I really shouldn’t be if I want to get to bed at a decent hour tonight. What are you guys up to today?”

Tyson told the tales of going golfing and hanging out at the beach with the guys. All the different restaurants they stopped at. But there was something a little off about how he was acting, but AJ couldn’t put her finger on it.

Finally when he stopped talking, AJ piped up.

“You good?”

Biting his lip, Tyson put his thoughts in order before opening his mouth.

“I mean, yeah, but, no. It was weird, last night we went clubbing, and the guys were pairing off with girls they met there, and there were two that wouldn’t leave me alone and…”

AJ’s heart was pounding hard, worried about what might be said next.

“... I had to just get out of there, I took a Lyft back to the house. I… just miss you.”

The breath AJ didn’t know she was holding came out in a gasp, and Tyson caught the tear coming down her cheek. It wasn’t her intention to get emotional, but it hit her hard. And seeing AJ tearing up, made him get teary-eyed as well, but he wasn’t sure why she was to begin with.

The dam broke.

“I miss you too babe, so much,” AJ just let the words fall out of her mouth without a filter, “It just hasn’t been the same here without you. You make my world better.”

Tyson was wiping his eyes, trying to act like he wasn’t crying at all when one of the guys came by him asking if he were about ready to head out. 

A mumbled, “Yeah, uh, I’ll be just a minute, no, my allergies are acting up or something, I’m good,” was overheard, before he looked back at his phone. “Hey, we’re heading out for another course, call you tonight before bed?”

“Of course. Go kick some ass on the green! Love you.”

“Love you too, talk tonight,” Tyson blew a kiss at his phone.

AJ “caught” it and smooshed it on her lips before ending the call.

Now wide awake from that unexpected conversation, AJ sat up and started thinking about what she could do to fill some time between now and this evening when Tyson would call. There was only so much cleaning she could do around the apartment to ease her racing mind, so she grabbed her tablet and started looking at vacation spots, texting Jess along the way.

AJ: Would you guys like to come up here? I know it isn’t fancy like Denver is, but there is so much cool stuff to see and do here, really! 

Jess: Hmm… I’d be down, but I’m thinking we should get away from EVERYTHING. Mexico has been calling my name here lately, I miss it.

AJ: I’ve never been. I’m looking up some places though. Cancun looks fun, and there seemingly is a lot to do around there. Ooh, they have a big art museum nearby, that sounds good. And Chichen-Itza and Tulum aren’t terribly far either.

Jess: You’re forgetting margaritas and all the amazing food!

AJ: Yes, that too! lol

AJ could feel Jess rolling her eyes at the choices of things she wanted to see. That was the funny thing too, if Nate had heard what AJ was saying, she was pretty sure he too would be rolling his eyes in the same way. Those two really are perfect for each other.

As the afternoon and evening went on, texts were sent back and forth about potential places to stay. It was just going to be a game of figuring out WHEN, with Avs in the playoffs, and knowing Tyson, he probably already had a summer packed with things to do. AJ knew that he was planning on heading out to Edmonton, and had mentioned something about maybe working out with some trainers in Vancouver for a bit. Tyson was never one to really stop and relax somewhere for an extended amount of time, other than with his family whenever he could.

The planning texts were interrupted by a facetime with Tyson, who seemed far more chipper than he did previously.

“How was golfing? Your nose looks a little pink, shoulda worn more sunscreen,” AJ joked, knowing he always gave her shit as she was pasty white and burned within minutes in the sun.

“It was good, shot five over, not bad for a course I’d never played on. Yeah I got a bit of sun today. Thankfully we’re heading out tomorrow. You still picking me up from the airport? I get in around noon.”

AJ looked panicked, looking at her watch, then back at her phone screen, seeing Tyson’s face contort into concern. 

“You are picking me up, right? I mean, I can get a ride with one of the guys, but…”

The giggles couldn’t be contained, and fell out of AJ’s mouth. 

“Of course, goof, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I haven’t seen you in like a week,” she grinned, “Besides, I found a new burger place I want to try, figured we could swing by on the way home.”

A wave of relief washed over Tyson, knowing he was going to get to see AJ as soon as he got out of the airport. AJ then saw Tyson squint a bit, and roll his eyes after his phone buzzed. Quirking her eyebrow, he could tell she was wondering what was going on just by the subtle movement.

“The rest of the guys went back clubbing again tonight.  It’s just not as fun, not without you here. I just didn’t want a repeat of last night, it just felt… wrong. In fact, I just got called an old man for turning in early. I’m not going to feel like shit on the plane at least.” 

The two chuckled, and continued talking for a bit, until it was evident Tyson really did get a bit of extra sun and he was pretty wore out, getting sleepier with each new topic that was brought up. After a few minutes of being disgustingly cute and sending kisses to each other, they finally ended the call.

Tyson laid in bed, still feeling awkward about the previous night, despite nothing actually happening. It did occur to him just how much he and AJ complemented each other. Dancing with random women in a bar no longer was exciting. He’d rather dance in the kitchen with AJ. Taking a woman back to his hotel was the furthest thing on his mind, unless that woman was AJ. 

“Maybe I really am turning into an old man!” he thought to himself, as a smile crept up on his face as he drifted off to sleep.

AJ woke up late the next morning, relaxing in bed, completely sprawled out, for one last time before Tyson would be back. Spending an hour scrolling through Instagram, she finally got up, got a shower, and a quick breakfast before grabbing a small baggie from one of the cabinets in the kitchen and heading out the door. AJ and her black Soul hit the road, heading to the airport.  

Once the car was parked, AJ headed inside, outside of the security area. Looking around, AJ saw her target… and it wasn’t Tyson.  With a smile and a wave, she headed over to Karma, whose ears perked up when Ann waved back, asking if Karma knew who was coming.

“Hey Karma, who is a good girl? IT IS YOU!!!” AJ scratched Karma’s ears before giving her a treat from the bag. “Hey Ann, how is it going today?”

So who are Karma and Ann, you might ask? Karma is an adorable, frosty-faced Jack Russell Terrier/Beagle mix, and Ann is her owner. Together, they patrol the Buffalo Niagara International Airport as a therapy dog team. Most dogs you see in airports have patches on their harnesses saying “SERVICE DOG, DO NOT PET”... but Karma has a bandana on that says “PLEASE PET ME!” AJ met them earlier in the year during one of her trips to see Tyson on the road, and had since become friends with the human/canine duo. Ann always asked how Tyson was playing, and Karma always was up for a belly rub as the two would chat. Today, Ann was in for a treat, she’d never actually got to meet a professional athlete despite all her time at the airport. 

Finally, coming out of the secure area, Tyson spied AJ sitting on the bench petting a dog.

"AJ found the only pettable dog in the whole place, that's so her!"  Tyson thought to himself, smiling the whole way to her.

Putting his bag down, Tyson found AJ already clinging her arms around him for a tight hug.

“Hey Tys, this is Ann, and…”

Before she could even say anything else, Tyson was already leaning down petting Karma’s head.

“This must be Karma, I’ve heard so much about you already from AJ!” Tyson leaned up and shook Ann’s hand, “And you too, it’s nice to meet you!”

Ann was usually chatty as all get out, but she was in awe of the Buffalo Sabres player standing before her. Finally breaking her out of the spell, Ann finally was back to telling stories and giving advice on where to go get dinner for the night. After gabbing for a few more minutes, and a few more treats for Karma, AJ finally convinced Ann that there were probably more passengers and airport/airline staff that could use some Karma pets and kisses. Everyone parted ways, with AJ promising she’d be back soon to see them again.

Walking hand in hand to the parking lot, AJ posed a question to Tyson.

“So what would you think about going to Mexico?”

The gears were already turning in Tyson’s head.

[scottiestoybox]

Weekend Update: Jim Jordan Dropped as Speaker Nominee, Trump Gag Order - SNL

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week’s biggest news, like Netflix planning to open brick and mortar stores and Ron DeSantis spending $1.5 million on private jets.

[justjosty]

Tyson’s Christmas card - pt. 1/2/3/4

[fandomgalore-blog]

This has to be one of the best SNL episodes I’ve seen in actual years. All of the sketches genuinely got a laugh from me and Dave was amazing with that monologue. The costumes and writing were on point.

10/10

[maraczeks]

the office s3 thread pt 1

[zodiactypology]

Popular Comedians of Each Zodiac Sign

Aries - Chris Delia, Conan O’Brien, Aries Spears, Keegan-Michael Key, Eric Andre, Eddie Murphy, David Letterman

Taurus - Bob Saget, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, Kenan Thompson, Michael Che, Stephen Colbert, Jay Leno

Gemini - Bill Burr, Russell Brand, Amy Schumer, Steven Brody Stevens, Brian Regan, Mike Birbiglia, Bill Hader, Kyle Dunnigan

Cancer - Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Will Ferrell, Ricky Gervais, Colin Jost, Fortune Feimster, Godfrey, Sebastian Maniscalco, Larry David

Leo - Joe Rogan, Steve Martin, Bo Burnham, Gary Owen

Virgo - Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K., Bobby Lee, Mark Normand, Adam Sandler, Whitney Cummings, Maria Bamford, John Mulaney, Jeff Ross, Kat Williams, Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon

Libra - Andrew Santino, Marc Maron, Nick Swardson, Sacha Baron Cohen, Norm Macdonald, Bernie Mac

Scorpio - Jimmy Kimmel, Pete Davidson, Kevin Nealon, Tracy Morgan

Sagittarius - Sarah Silverman, Patrice Oneal, Richard Pryor, Tiffany Haddish

Capricorn - Jim Carrey, Steve Harvey, Anthony Jeselnik, Dave Attell

Aquarius - Patton Oswalt, Bryan Callen, Chris Rock, Hannibal Burress, Jim Jefferies, Ellen DeGeneres, Trevor Noah, Ari Shaffir

Pisces - Theo Von, Iliza Schlesinger, Aziz Ansari, Mitch Hedberg, Jordan Peele, Chelsea Handler, Judah Friedlander

[infiniteoreos]

It’s jime for me to jome out I know jany of jou may jhink that I’m jattracted to joe jiden, and I just want you to jnow that I’m jot. I jo not find joe jexually or jomantically jattractive. Any jattraction I have towards him is jlatonic. I do not want to engage in jexual jintercourse with jim. All the josts you’ve jeen are just me jadmitting that he’s a jottie, and that juit made him jexy aj. This does not jean I want to take him to jone jown. jesides, he’s not a jay jilf. I can’t be jattracted to jim

[landesgod-and-the-avalanche]

Tyson Jost scores his first NHL goal... and we all get a little emotional.

[bqstqnbruin]

50 and 74 with Tyson Jost?

✨This one, like many of them (oops) was inspired by an episode from The Office (I wanna say it’s Niagra Part 2 ? It’s the one where Jim and Pam get married)✨

50. “You’re the clumsiest person I know…how did you survive past childhood?”

74. “You’re so cute.”

Saint Joe’s finally won their first game of the season so here we are posting a blurb early! Send in blurb requests by midnight EST tonight for blurb weekend next weekend! 

__________________

You had always dreamed of your wedding day. It was going to be perfect: a winter wedding surrounded by your friends and family, marrying the perfect man. You would have the perfect venue, the perfect dress, the best food and music, everyone would have a good time, everything: perfect. 

Except now you were getting married in the dead of summer, the venue not exactly like you wanted it, and for some reason, most of your family was unable to make it. You had the perfect man, so you were still happy, but you were stressed that something was going to go wrong on what should have been your perfect day. 

“I say, we open the wine before Y/N walks down the aisle and just drink more after,” one of your bridesmaids said, your mind running a mile a minute about anything that could go wrong.

You never said yes, nor did you know who suggested what you were afraid was a bad idea, but the next thing you knew, a glass of red wine was shoved in your chest, catching you off guard and spilling down the bodice of your dress. “Oh, my God,” is all you can let out, your once white dress now soiled with a bright pink stain in the center. 

Your bridal party calls after you as you run to another room, not really sure where you were going but just going somewhere. You were overreacting, it was just a dress after all, but you were already stressed about how the rest of the day was going to go, spiraling into the idea that this was the first of many shitty things that were bound to happen.

You had no idea what room you were in, trying to calm yourself down when you heard someone’s voice from the doorway calling your name. “What’s going on?” Tyson comes over to you clearly panicked by your running away from the rest of the bridal party. “Hey, are you ok?”

“You’re not supposed to see me right now,” you choke out.

“When someone tells me my soon to be wife ran out of the bridal suite crying, I don’t really care about some dumb superstition. What happened, babe?” You gesture to the stain setting in on your dress, Tyson just smiling at you. “You’re the clumsiest person I know…how did you survive past childhood?” he jokes, your jaw dropping at his words.

“This is not funny!” you tell him as he takes your hands, “I didn’t even spill it on myself, one of my bridesmaids did. And now my dress is ruined, and our day is ruined and then our marriage is going to be ruined and everything is just-” 

He cuts you off by kissing you, his hand on your cheek. “You’re so cute.”

“Why are you not taking this seriously!” 

“Because it’s just a dress. The wedding, the party, that doesn’t matter as much as the fact that today marks the first day of the rest of our lives together.” 

You give him a confused look, not fighting the smile that was forming on your face as he got up to look around the room. “When did you get so poetic?” 

“I’ve always been poetic, what are you talking about?” he says, continuing to look around the room. “Ah! Here’s something!” he says, holding up a thick, black permanent marker.

“Tyson, what are you doing?” you say, your eyes wide as he opens the marker, coloring crudely on his white shirt. “Tyson! Oh, my god!” 

“You have a stain, now I have one. Two wrongs make a right, yeah?” he says, going back over to you. “Come on, let’s go get married.”

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (23/n)

Author's Notes: Tyson's struggling a little with the first round loss, and the love of his life being so far away, but AJ made the leap, she packed it up and made her way north. She didn't realize just how far north she'd be going this summer! Tyson had some plans that he had to clue AJ into, but she's doing her best to just go with what life throws at her right now.

Pacing on this chapter is a little weird. There is always so much build up when traveling to get somewhere you want to be, and then it seems to slow down once there. Or maybe I have that backward - it takes forever to get there, then things go fast? Either way... the journey to St. Paul was a long one. But don't think that's the only traveling this summer... oh no. The traveling has just started... I've always heard that if you want to make or break a relationship, you travel with your partner. Will Tyson and AJ survive this? (Duh, of course.)

Also I'm driving to St. Paul here in a few weeks, and... yeah I'm dreading that drive too. It isn't from Denver, but still a good 8-9 hour drive. I feel AJ's pain. Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ)

Word Count: 4478

Warnings: Language. Tyson's a little handsy at the beach but... he's a guy and this is easily PG-13 if not less.

Chapter 22 is at: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/695900532270874624/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-22n

The last two days were rough on Tyson. He was still pretty upset about the Game 6 loss, which was understandable. But he waited, albeit impatiently, for the best thing he had going to arrive. 

AJ had texted Tyson as she was getting ready to leave Denver, heart pounding and fingers fidgety as she was starting a new part of her life.

AJ: Packed up, in the car. Getting my last Dutch Bros. Be there in about 13 hours… ready to start writing this new chapter with you.

Tyson squinted with one eye looking at his phone screen, a grin lit up his face.

Tyson: Counting the MINUTES. Drive safe love.

Confined to his small room at the extended stay hotel, he flipped on the TV to find something to watch to pass the time. He ran downstairs and ate breakfast before they picked up the food for the morning, and did some running on the treadmill at the hotel gym as it was raining again. Tyson was just not good at sitting still when he was looking forward to something. 

The plan was to actually meet up with AJ at the storage unit he snagged, since not all of both of their things were going to fit in that tiny space that they were now going to share. It wouldn’t be a long time, since they both started actually looking at listings and sharing them back and forth. But there was also a lot of random plans Tyson had for the summer, and was trying to figure out how to keep AJ incorporated in those plans. But until there was a more permanent residence, they both were going to have some things at multiple locations.

Checking in along the way, AJ posted various things to Instagram, and responded to comments on posts when stopping for gas for her car, or sent silly texts to Tyson.

AJ: Things I think about while driving… are zebras white with black stripes? OR are they black with white stripes? Speaking about white stripes, I’m listening to The White Stripes right now. I’m somewhere in Nebraska. See you soon babe.

AJ: Des Moines was originally named Fort Raccoon. It then became Fort Des Moines, and finally, in 1857, was shortened to Des Moines. Little less than 4 hours, can’t wait to kiss you.

Tyson: I can’t wait to kiss you either. Speed a little more? Just don’t get caught. I’ve heard stories from the guys about the cops out here

AJ: I’m in your state!

Tyson: You’re in OUR state! (smile emoji)

It hit different that AJ was indeed almost to her new home. Although now it would really be that home is a feeling and not a physical place, necessarily. 

Tyson had planned on traveling up to see his family, bringing AJ with him so she could finally meet Grandpa Jim and Grandma Emily. It’d been months since he’d seen Kacey. He was also going to train with some specialist coaches and work on what he felt were weak points in his game. Seeing friends, maybe hit the lakes a bit. It was going to be a summer of whatever Tyson wanted to do… as long as AJ was okay with it as well.

He hadn’t exactly ASKED if she were okay with these ideas, but, he certainly hoped she’d be okay with traveling a bit. Tyson wasn’t joking when he said he wanted to spoil her more. What good was money if he couldn’t spend it within reason? 

As AJ approached St. Paul, the last few texts to Jess were sent, letting her know of the arrival.

AJ: I can’t believe we won’t get to watch the games together, with pre-game margs and tacos. This sucks.

Jess: I know, right? Is it too soon to ask when you’re coming back to visit?

AJ: Probably a little. We’ll figure it out though, okay? I'm not ditching you for a boy. I mean I kind of am. A really hot one. But I promise he will not get in the way (evil imp face)

AJ: On that note… I’m in traffic and am almost to the storage unit to drop off a few things. I’ll text you later. Miss you already!

With a few turns onto some side streets, AJ saw Tyson’s Grand Cherokee parked near the entrance to the storage unit facility, with him leaning up against the vehicle, face engulfed in a smile as bright as the sun that afternoon. Unlocking the door, Tyson opened the front seat, but then realized that Maple was in the way, and was stuck cramming himself into a tiny corner of the backseat, getting AJ and the trailer to the correct unit. Thankfully it was just the trailer getting unloaded, the things in her car were coming with - you know, clothes, computer equipment, toiletries, pillows…

Working as a team, the couple unloaded and stacked things into the small storage unit, trying not to crush Tyson’s sofa and a few things he already had in there. With the trailer empty, AJ had to take it to a drop-off location, and Tyson said he’d wait for her at the hotel - he had to get things set up so that she could park and have in/out privileges like he did, and wouldn’t have the hassle of waiting for the valet. He saw her car on Grand, so he hopped outside really quick to show her where to park. 

“Hey babe, should I be jealous that someone is getting out of the passenger side of your vehicle? Should I text Jess asking what I should do?” Tyson started giggling as AJ shot him a glare as she unbuckled and pulled Maple the Bear from the front seat.

“Zip it, Jost.” AJ rolled her eyes but joined in the giggles.

Everything had been brought upstairs within two trips, and AJ collapsed next to Maple on the chaise lounge section of the sofa. It was 1000% an emotionally draining day, not to mention driving thirteen hours. Tyson was on the complete other end of the spectrum, with energy to burn. However, the way this duo worked is that they compliment each other, they balance each other out. Tyson took a hint and laid across the sofa with his head in AJ’s lap, her fingers aimlessly playing with his curls, waking up slightly. On the other hand, Tyson simmered down, cozying the back of his head into AJ’s thighs, smiling up at her. 

“Welcome home, Eggo.”

AJ smiled softly. “It’s good to be home, Maple Syrup Man. So… what’s the plan? Other than I think I’m crashing early tonight, no offense. This week has been a blur, especially the last two days.”

She didn’t mean to cause it, but Tyson felt an emotional stab to his heart. HE was the reason she was so tired, because he was so needy, in his own mind. He closed his eyes, trying to push back those thoughts. AJ immediately picked up on it, and softly slid her finger along his forehead, and down the bridge of his nose, and back up again, soothing the creases in-between his eyes. A tiny sigh from Tyson happened, as AJ felt his neck loosen up more leaving his head to press more against her legs. Leaning over, a small smile formed on AJ’s lips as she looked at the far more relaxed Tyson.

Opening his eyes, and looking up into her light blue ones, Tyson made AJ an offer she couldn’t turn down.

“So, I hope this doesn’t come off as too forward, I think you’re pretty cute. Would you wanna have dinner at my place tonight? Maybe… spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Gee, I don’t know, is it far from my place? I’m new in town and am not familiar with the area.”

Tyson lifted his head up as AJ leaned down for a quick kiss before he hopped up off the sofa and took a few steps to find himself in the kitchen grabbing a few utensils and kettles. AJ was going to join him to help out in the kitchen, but it truly was small. Granted it was still bigger than the one they danced in the last time she stayed at the hotel, but still, slow dancing and cooking are two very different choreographies that require different amounts of space.

Plus, sensing how tired AJ was, he insisted he cook dinner tonight so that she could recover a bit. She found herself sitting at the tiny kitchen/dining room table for two, her chin propped up in her hand watching the festivities. Something caught her eye though, and she squinted.

Attached to the side of the refrigerator were tons of post-it notes with familiar handwriting.

Tyson caught AJ staring at the collage of notes. “Yep. I’ve kept every single one I’ve found. I’m still finding some. You really went all out on those, but that’s what kept me sane while you were still in Denver. When I felt alone, I read every single one over again. It was like you were right here with me.”

A boiling pot of water was salted slightly, and a box of pasta splashed into it. Meatballs were tossed in a bowl, and put into the microwave as the room didn’t have an oven this time around, as opposed to his old place in Denver. (“I’m sorry they won’t be as good this time.” “What do you mean? This is the first time I’ve had dinner with you, handsome man that invited me to his place for dinner…”) Sauce was poured into a small kettle to be heated up on the second burner on the tiny stove.

While everything boiled, simmered, or was zapped in the microwave, Tyson was grabbing bowls and silverware from the cabinet and drawer. Hands shoved into oven mitts, the pasta was drained masterfully, and divided between the two bowls. Sauce was ladled onto the steaming noodles, and finally the meatballs were placed on top. Tyson placed the two bowls on the table and sat down.

“You know I could get used to you being all domestic and hot.”

“Wait until you see me do the dishes,” Tyson wiggled his eyebrows.

Maybe it was the fact that AJ was enjoying hot food that wasn’t takeout (it’d been a few days considering she was emptying out the old place), maybe it was that she wasn’t in her car. It might have even been the company in AJ’s presence. It took a moment, but a huge sigh slipped from AJ’s lips, fighting a yawn. It wasn’t even a yawn because she was tired physically - it was more of an emotional release. The stress of being on the road was gone. The frustration that they were only going to be able to facetime tonight was gone. Things were all lining up the way they should. The tiny space may not be ideal, but it didn’t matter. Things were going to change up in the next few weeks, months, years… none of it mattered as long as Tyson was right there with her.

And the feeling was apparently subconsciously mutual, as Tyson watched AJ figure out whatever was going on inside her head, and agreed by tapping his foot on hers under the table. Realizing she was staring at her pasta, AJ looked up, and found Tyson’s eyes crinkled as his lips curled up, seeing her sitting in front of him.

Dinner was pretty much eaten in silence, other than the occasional smile and giggle at each other. The two fell right back in sync. For these two, quiet wasn’t uncomfortable. They could communicate with body language , no words spoken. Just knowing the other person was there was enough. One of the things that AJ missed the most during the last couple months was lazy afternoons spent on the sofa, Tyson strumming on his uke, AJ playing a game or reading a book, and literally her foot was on his thigh. They could be doing completely unrelated things in each other’s physical presence, but it was the simple fact they occupied the same space that made everything feel right in the world.

With the last noodles slurped and bowl scraped, it was AJ that hopped up and grabbed Tyson’s utensils and headed for the sink.

“Babe, I told you that I’d get this, you’ve had a long day.”

“Hey, if we’re living together, I can’t not do my part. You cooked, I’ll clean up. It’s only fair.” AJ was honestly NOT wanting to do the dishes, she really just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep about twenty hours. But in her heart, she knew this was right.

Thankfully the amount of dishes was minimal. AJ started scrubbing the dishes, and Tyson waited patiently for a couple to hit the rack so he could dry them and put them away. There might have been a small delay as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, and let his lips barely brush above AJ’s collar on the back of her neck. Dropping the sponge in the sink, she was able to turn around and use the dish towel slung over Tyson’s neck in two ways - first to dry her hands, and then second to use as a way to pull his face closer to hers. This really was the first time the couple stopped and really kissed since AJ arrived earlier that afternoon.

Just like everything else that evening, it was soft. The biggest difference though was that it was much lengthier and involved arms and hands slowly wrapping around the other as lips stayed connected. Once the kiss had run its course, they stayed wrapped up in each other for a few more moments, AJ had buried her face into the crook of Tyson’s neck, slowly brushing the tip of her nose along his collarbone. Needing a little more connection still, Tyson’s lips found AJ’s forehead, grazing with featherweight pressure against her skin. The silence was barely broken by the sounds of the two breathing each other in and out. 

AJ opened her eyes and slowly tilted her head upward.

“As much as I wish this moment could last forever, because it feels so perfect, I’m fading fast. Some of us have been up since 3am Denver time…”

“Yeah yeah, you make it out that you drove 13 hours today,” Tyson smirked, “Let’s get these dishes done and get some sleep.”

Drying the silverware and putting it in the drawer, Tyson watched AJ grab her suitcase and pull out a tee and boxers to slip into before ducking into the bathroom to take out her contacts and brush her teeth. It occurred to him that they were going to need to find a bigger place soon – not that he minded the closeness - it was just more that they were combining two living spaces into a tiny one and inevitably they’d probably snap at each other at some point for being in each other’s space TOO much.

AJ emerged from the bathroom, and flopped onto the bed face-first. Turning her head though, she noticed that her pillows were on the other side of the bed from where they normally are when the two would crash with each other. Rolling onto her back, she admired the view in the bathroom as Tyson was brushing his teeth. The very edge of his boxer brief-clad butt was in view in the doorway. AJ shifted just a bit to see Tyson shaking his behind to an imaginary song in his head, toothbrush moving to the same beat. 

His ears must have been burning, feeling AJ’s observing eyes upon him. Leaning back a bit, he caught AJ staring. He shook his hips with more exaggeration, and went back to brushing his teeth.

A few more minutes were spent in the bathroom, flossing his teeth and washing his face. He leaned back again while drying his face to check on AJ, only to find her already asleep, diagonally across the bed. Sneaking out quietly, he didn’t want to wake her up, but was finding he was going to likely have to - she was on mostly his side of the bed.

“Eggo…” Tyson whispered softly near AJ’s ear, “can you scootch over a bit? You’re on my pillows.”

AJ was pretty asleep already, and there was no response. He tried again, touching her arm lightly, not wanting to startle her.

“Baby girl…”

The words roused AJ just a bit, because usually that was something she got called when Tyson was trying to get her riled up. The tone was not deep though, so she wasn’t triggered too much.

“Mmm?” AJ questioned, still half asleep.

“Babe, I need you to scoot just a bit, you’re on my side of the bed.”

“Hmm mmmm.” AJ gripped Tyson’s pillow harder and nodded back off.

At a loss of what to do, Tyson tried to pry the pillow from AJ’s extreme grip, and roll her over to more of her side of the bed. He got her a quarter of the way there when she started murmuring and was seemingly grumpy about the situation. (I mean, if you’d driven 13 hours and had just fallen asleep, you’d be grumpy too, right?) With enough room to at least get onto a portion of his side of the bed, Tyson slid under the duvet and wedged himself under AJ enough to slide her a bit more over. She finally let go of her deathgrip on the pillow.

“Finally!” Tyson thought to himself, as he slid his pillow away to put under his own head.

But instead, AJ grabbed onto whatever was closest to her to hug tight. It happened to be Tyson himself. The two of them are in this giant king-size bed, and are taking up a third of it, pushing Tyson close to the edge.

Making the best of it, Tyson cradled AJ in his arms, trying to keep from losing circulation in them. And a bit later, he finally drifted to sleep. The two woke up as the sun started streaming through the sheer curtains, very much still crammed to one side of the bed. Definitely confused, AJ looked around and realized where she was, and also that she was not even close to her side of the bed. She rolled back over, and Tyson stretched, wincing slightly as his arms went over his head.

“May have to call you Koala Bear instead of Eggo the way you were clinging to me last night.” 

AJ’s eyes went wide. “Oh no, I am so sorry. I don’t even remember falling asleep. I remember watching you dance while brushing your teeth and… then I really don’t remember. I feel awful about taking up the whole bed. Our first real night together and I’m an absolute jerk. I wasn’t actually that curled up with you, was I? Oh no…”

Tyson sheepishly grinned. “Yeah babe, you… kinda were. It was cute though.”

A lazy morning was had, the two snagged breakfast before it shut down in the lobby. Tyson was a little fidgety though, and AJ wasn’t sure why. She finally questioned it, noting that he was tapping his foot inadvertently against AJ’s.

“Something bothering you? You’ve seemed to be a little off this morning. Was it me stealing the bed last night?”

Tyson looked down, trying to figure out how to say what he was needing to. 

“I know you just got here, but… I’m thinking about heading home for a bit. Nothing too long, but I was thinking maybe late next week or so. I’m looking to do some training with Dynamic, and want to see family.” He paused, then looked AJ in the eye. “I was kind of hoping you might want to come with? You know Grandpa and Grandma want to meet you. Kace and Mom will be around too.”

AJ nodded, adding, “Okay, it’s not like I really have plans or anything, babe. I’m just going with the flow right now. How long would we be gone?”

The two discussed plans, and it would be a couple weeks, and Tyson even insisted if she wanted to come back to St. Paul, she could. He didn’t want to hold AJ captive in a country that wasn’t her own if she didn’t want to be there the whole time. AJ saw it as a chance to connect with Tyson’s family more… her at some point soon in-laws.

Over the next few days, AJ and Tyson had time to themselves, and it honestly was spent just roaming around the Twin Cities area. That date that kept getting put off in Denver of visiting the zoo finally happened, albeit much further north. AJ brought Tyson to Electric Fetus to find out what was new in the music world. A day was spent at Lake Minnetonka with some of Tyson’s teammates, past (college) and present. 

In fact, Lake Day was probably Tyson’s favorite day since AJ permanently arrived, as water is definitely his element. Skating on frozen water, and doing tricks on the wakeboard - it all makes sense with Tyson being a Pisces. Oddly enough, AJ is a fire sign as a Leo, but she’ll also claim she was born a month early (truth) and would have been a Virgo, another water sign. Sure, Tyson enjoyed seeing friends new and old, and playing in the water (and was happy to see AJ wasn’t worried about getting her hair wet and dove right into the water), but his favorite part of it was a bit more… handsy.

You see, AJ is a pale, pasty gal of Western European ancestry. A large chunk Irish, German, Italian, and Polish - and that is just her mom’s side. Regardless, she burns within minutes of being in the sun. Tyson took this into consideration and was consistently asking if she needed more sunscreen. Sure, he didn’t want her getting sunburned, but the ulterior motive was clear:

Putting sunscreen on someone is one of the few times that it is 100% acceptable to get handsy in public.

Tyson was more than willing to rub the lotion onto AJ’s exposed skin. Shoulders? Check. Neck? Got it. Back? Happy to oblige. He was even trying to get a bit cheeky (no pun intended) by smoothing it up AJ’s calves, knees, and thighs. She literally had to tell him to stop before he got any ideas further up (too late, of course).

Otherwise, even though AJ had no experience with wakeboarding, he was so excited to see her try, fail, try, fail, try… and finally actually stand up for a few moments. Even Tyson’s friends were cheering her on as she was doing better than a few of them were. With a little practice she’d probably get much better, but for what she accomplished that day, AJ was even proud of herself. It wasn’t the actual standing on the board that made her feel good - it was the fact she was doing something new in front of people she didn’t know, and did not care. Incredible wipeout? She was the first to start laughing when she found the water’s surface, exclaiming “Tell me that looked as epic fail as I felt like it did! LET’S GO AGAIN!”

Tyson couldn’t understand that AJ ever felt like she was out of place, she always seemed to mesh well with everyone she talked to. Just like in Colorado, everyone in Minnesota was understanding why AJ was so different in the best possible way.

With that, AJ noticed that the anxiety and worry that seemed to be lurking just under the surface of Tyson had receded over the last few days. And with the anticipation of heading back home, it was the most relaxed she’d seen him be in… months really. Tyson couldn’t wait to show AJ where he grew up and experience all that Edmonton had to offer.

After just a couple more days in St. Paul, AJ kept her promise to Tyson she made weeks prior, showing just how good at packing luggage she was. A small carry-on and her backpack had a week and a half’s worth of clothes, toiletries, and all the electronics she’d need to survive. Tyson had a full size suitcase and was still worried about not fitting all of his things. She helped him re-pack and found that he had a lot more space if he’d fold things differently.

The two got up early and snagged an Uber to the airport, and went through security. AJ downed a handful of Dramamine with a bottle of water. She fidgeted with the label on the bottle, tearing it into little pieces.

“You good?” Tyson’s voice was laced with concern.

“Y'know how I get motion sickness? I mean I haven’t in a while because I’m used to your driving, or I am the chauffeur… but me being a little tired to start with at the lake? Dramamine.” AJ paused. 

Tyson nodded for her to continue.

“I’m a terrible airplane passenger. They won’t let me fly the plane, so… Dramamine.”

The joke caught Tyson off-guard causing laughter to erupt from him. Once the chuckle was under control though, he knew just how anxious she could get, especially if she started feeling the dizziness and nausea that plagued her.

“Aww, Eggo, you know I’ve got you.” Tyson wove his fingers into AJ’s.

Those fingers stayed intertwined until the plane had taken off, despite AJ trying to break Tyson’s hand while squeezing it as the plane leaned back to gain altitude. Finally the Dramamine really did it’s thing, and AJ fell asleep against Tyson’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey babe?” Tyson squeezed AJ’s hand, “Wake up, we’re in Calgary.”

AJ groggily looked around and rubbed her eyes, contacts dry from sleep. After a turbulent landing (and potentially bruised hand for Tyson as AJ squeezed it really hard again… he asked her to try to loosen her grip slightly for the next flight as he was going to need those hands for practice the next few days), they had a quick layover, snagging some brunch and doing some people-watching until their next flight into Edmonton.

Calgary to Edmonton, thankfully, was pretty uneventful. AJ stayed awake and watched out the window nearly the whole flight, sans takeoff and landing. Those were some of the things that set off her vertigo for sure. But she did her best to simply loosely hold onto Tyson’s hand, this time succeeding. Once on the ground, with carry-on items in hand, the two exited the plane and made it to the baggage claim, finding Tyson’s suitcase.

Just outside of security, Tyson’s face lit up. In front of them, just down the corridor, the whole Jost clan (including Grandpa Jim and Grandma Emily) stood with their own sign.

“Welcome Home, Tyson! Welcome to Canada, AJ!” Ready for Part 24? https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/697160469821194240/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-24n

[perfectdisastcr]

💗 i would like a list of all 3 million potential pairings please 🙈

my god, i would love to take the time out of my day to give that to you, and just know that we can ship literally anybody and everybody because that’s all we ever do in the first place and you know how much i love doing that with you too. my favorite writing partner everybody, bre is hands down the best partner in the whole world, and i’m lucky enough to be able to have her at all. she’s mine and i’m never going to let her go because i love her so much! she’s literally the best thing to ever happen to me and i know i wouldn’t be here through the shitty times and all without her! everybody better go follow her right now and send her all the love i swear to god, because she’s the only person on this hell site that shows me the attention that i deserve! also that list of potential pairings is below the cut, and don’t say i didn’t warn you. 👀

send 💗 if you’re open to the possibility of a romantic ship eventually happening between our muses

all these characters are up for shipping with all your characters:

alex gardiner (paul rudd) alexander hamilton (lin-manuel miranda) alex mullner (brant daughterty) alice liddell (madelyn cline) alisha khara (jameela jamil) annie abel (luna blaise/anya chalotra) antonia moreno (victoria justice) apollonia levine (anastasia karanikolaou) arthur pendragon (niall horan) ashley spinelli (ursula corbero) aspen rhodes (sofia black-d'elia) astrid porter (karlie kloss) audrey ramirez (selena gomez) august khalil (rami malek) axel turner (charlie weber/skeet ulrich) aziz hassan (riz ahmed) bailee rose (jenny boyd) bambi prince (lachlan watson) barbie roberts (kate upton) barley lightfoot (michael clifford) beatriz velasco (camila cabello/diane guerrero)  beau hester (froy gutierrez) beck collins (joe keery) bellatrix lestrange (carmela zumbado) belle dubois (margaret qualley) belle summers (candice king) berliouz bonfamille (alex fitzalan) bernard davenport (gavin leatherwood) billie groves (kiana lede/emmy raver-lampman) billy hargrove (dacre montgomery) bindi culver (meg donnelly/rachel mcadams) bo-peep ‘bo’ patterson (amanda seyfried) brady gardiner (nathaniel buzolic) brielle stewart (alexandra daddario) bronwyn pierson (madelaine petsch) buzz lightyear (paul mescal/chris pine) calliope jung (phillipa soo) camille aguilar (jeanine mason) carl fredricksen (tye sheridan) celeste quintana (rosalia/maite perroni) chandler armstrong (iwan rheon) cinderella tremaine (lily james) clementine ahn (jamie chung) cliff egan (stephen amell) colleen lowell (jodie comer) connor catrell (thomas doherty) copper slade (nick jonas) cordelia goodwin (ryan destiny/candice patton) coriander thompson (dacre montgomery/chris evans) cornelius robinson (simon baker) cruella de vil (melanie martinez) cyrus quinney (owen joyner) daisy vaughn (isabella gomez/aimee carrero) dakota atkins (amber midthunder) dale monks (keiynan lonsdale) dalton davis (harris dickinson) daniela ‘dani’ costello (becky g/eva longoria) dash parr (jaden smith) delilah diaz (camila cabello/diane guerrero) delphine washington (antonia thomas) delta montgomery (manu gavassi) denver koch (thomas elms) devon montgomery (iain de caestecker) diego hargreeves (david castaneda) dorcas meadowes (ariela barer) dory blau (julia louise-dreyfus) duke blaise (ashley graham & matthew daddario — reincarnated)  duncan traeger (zac efron) edmund whittaker (richard madden) edwin orwell (nicholas galitzine) elena flores (jenna ortega) eleonora moretti (benedetta gargari) eleven (millie bobby brown) elio montgomery (noah schnapp/brendon urie) elisabeth ‘elsa’ andersson (candice king) elliott murdoch (kj apa) eloise thompson (taylor hill/zoey deutch) elwood leith (sam claflin) emerson wheaton (beau mirchoff) emily sondheim (eve fraser) emmy silverstein (nat wolff/michiel huisman) ericka ‘ricki’ santos (danna paola) esmeralda guybertaut (priyanka chopra) everest sorenson (adam driver) ezekiel ‘zeke’ bauer (neels visser) fa mulan (awkwafina) felix dawson (lukas gage) ferris rockwell (joshua bassett) five hargreeves (aidan gallagher/rob raco/john mulaney) florence prata (barbie ferreira) flynn rider (jacob elordi/steven r mcqueen) frank castle (jon bernthal) gabrielle dupres (louriza tronco) genevieve rizzo (troian bellisario) gill moorish (harrison ford) godwin vivar (diego boneta) grainger anslow (justin hartley) grant wesley (keanu reeves) griffin price (liam hemsworth) guinevere ‘gwen’ flores (ester exposito/ana de armas) gulliver kennedy (robert sheehan) gunner mccoy (miles heizer) halston krogen (nick robinson) hamish duke (thomas elms) harper graves (sydney sweeney) harry potter (alberto rosende) harvey wolff (joaquin phoenix) hawke bradbury (brenton thwaites) helen parr (megan thee stallion/kerry washington) hendrix palmer (mark fischbach) henley howell (dylan everett/paul wesley) henrik nilsen (herman tommeraas/chris evans) hercules sabri (aubrey joseph) hermione granger (quintessa swindell) holden krogen (jack falahee) holly la stella (olivia holt) honey lemon (irene ferreiro) hudson reid (jaeden lieberher/paul mescal/james mcavoy) irving reid (matty healy) isobel evans (lily cowles) jacoba ‘cobi’ abernathy (geraldine viswanathan) jake bennett (joe jonas) jake breckenridge (landon liboiron) james potter (noah centineo) james ‘sully’ sullivan (hozier) jane porter (zoe sugg) jasmine agrabah (naomi scott) jessica jones (krysten ritter) jim hopper (david harbour) johanna ‘jo’ gardiner (carlson young) josefine olive (lili reinhart/maika monroe) joseph ‘joey’ carnegie (chris o'dowd) juliette russo (camila mendes) juno nicks (gideon adlon/linda cardellini) justin miller (michael b. jordan) keaton green (charlie plummer/austin butler/alexander skarsgard) keifer fry (nathan parsons) kennedy sutherland (florence pugh) khalid farid (mena massoud) kiernan jost (jack barakat) kiki penn (natalie alyn lind)  kim possible (karen gillan) kit dempsey (aaron taylor-johnson/michael sheen) kristoff bjorgman (ben hardy) kuzco inca (tommy martinez) lady alvarez (camila cabello/diane guerrero) lake montgomery (jace norman/casey deidrick/jeff goldblum) lazarus (sean teale/tom ellis) lennox wells (billie piper) leonardo ‘leo’ light (armie hammer) levi wesley (gerard butler) liam wheaton (lucas lynngaard tonnesen/dominic sherwood) lilac montgomery (sophia lillis/deborah ann woll) lila pitts (ritu arya) lilo pelekai (courtney eaton) lola carver (carla gugino) macy merritt (kylie jenner) madeline hawkins (rowan blanchard/kaylee bryant) madison bloomfield (gwyneth paltrow) maggie wheaton (virginia gardner) maria deluca (heather hemmens) mariana de la cruz (victoria justice/salma hayek) marianne darden (elizabeth olsen) marisol torres (alexa demie/salma hayek) marlene phan (brianne tju) matilda franks (brooke markham) matthew murdock (charlie cox) max tian (chloe bennet) mckenzie whitman (danielle rose russell) megara creon (ashley moore) melanie carter (brenna d'amico/zooey deschanel) melody burns-newman (camren bicondova) mercutio bellini (giancarlo commare) merida dunbroch (bree kish) michael ‘goob’ yagoobian (dylan o’brien/andrew scott) mickey hader (shawn mendes) miguel rivera (diego tinoco) mike wheeler (finn wolfhard) mildred ‘millie’ brantwood (stella maeve) milo martinez (itzan escamilla/tyler posey) milo thatch (jason ralph) minerva ‘minnie’ winslett (jenna coleman) mischa locklear (jenny slate) moana motunui (auli'i cravalho) molly wheaton (saoirse monica jackson/kristen bell/kristin chenoweth) monet bugg (annie murphy) mordecai ‘cai’ baird (joseph morgan) murray bauman (brett gelman) nadja (natasia demetriou) naomi phillips (hunter king) natalie fuller (krysten ritter) nate gardiner (tom holland/thomas hayes/joe keery/adam scott) nemo fisher (nick robinson) nick novak (jon bernthal) nick wilde (jake johnson) nina baxter (laura harrier) nolan van ness (louis hynes/benjamin wadsworth) nymphadora tonks (kennedy walsh) odessa barnes (inanna sarkis) osbourne russo (oliver jackson-cohen) otis richardson (finn jones) owen monroe (zachary levi) paloma katz (brittany o'grady) paxton gardiner (douglas booth) pearl turner (maia mitchell/aubrey plaza) penny proud (sarah jeffery) perdita ryan (alisha boe/zoe kravitz) perrie wheaton (ariela barer/jessica alba) peter pan (rudy pankow) peter pettigrew (alex lawther) phil mcdermot (leo howard/dylan o’brien) phineas flynn-fletcher (michael provost) piper donahue (millie bobby brown/katherine langford/felicity jones) pippa mei (amy okuda) pollux isola (camila mendes) portia sadler (hayden panettiere) prairie gallagher (lucy boynton) quaid ‘q’ wright (jake gylenhaal) quinton saunders (jamie dornan) rain montgomery (nick jonas) ramona montgomery-wallis (lana condor/ashley park) reed knightley (arthur darvill) reign fentworth (madison bailey/vanessa morgan) reno thames (joshua bassett) richie tozier (finn wolfhard/bill hader) river montgomery (jack griffo/tyler blackburn) robin buckley (maya hawke) roger holtz (ben platt) roger radcliffe (aaron tveit) romy reyes (carmela zumbado) ronald ‘mac’ mcdonald (rob mcelhenney) roosevelt banks (spence moore II) rowan burke (andy biersack) roxanne sutton (lady gaga) rush mccoy (cody fern) russell montgomery (ian harding/hugh jackman) russell montgomery II (jack dylan grazer/timothee chalamet/adam brody) sable rosales (catherine bascoy) saint fentworth (reece king) sally finklestein (marina ruy barbosa) salvador ‘sal’ mendoza (jorge blanco) samson gardiner (cole sprouse) sandy diamandis (christina hendricks) sawyer bell (penn badgley) seamus kennedy (aria shanghasemi/michael sheen) seb seif (zeeko zaki) selena hada (camila cabello/diane guerrero) severus snape (rob raco) shawn taggart (ben barnes) shay strauss (chris wood) shia zoheir (rami malek) shiloh young (devery jacobs) shiri madani (inbar lavi) simba king (john boyega) sloane shapiro (diana silvers/linda cardellini) sofia ramirez (camila cabello/camila mendes/morena baccarin/fluvia lacerda) stefani vidal (louriza tronco) stella romero (adria arjona) steve harrington (joe keery) stevie wagner (anne hathaway/jennifer garner) sutton reiser (katherine langford/kat dennings) tandy hawthorne (giorgia whigham) tanner cohen (ross lynch) tarrant ‘mad hatter’ hightopp (hale appleman) tarryn fischer (giorgia whigham/perry mattfeld) tatum barton (ben schwartz) teddy flood (james marsden) tex navarro (bad bunny) thad abraham (dylan sprouse/chris evans) the handler (kate walsh) thomas gardiner (felix mallard/paul rudd) tierney kennedy (maisie williams) timothy ‘tigger’ trigger (jeremy allen white) tinker bell (sabrina carpenter) tj lieberman (armie hammer) tommy burns (will poulter) topher larkin (alexander hogh andersen) trey turner (jonathan daviss) ursula celia (normani/lizzo) vaughn abel (max greenfield) veronica lodge (camila mendes) vidia viento (emma dumont) vivica lang (madison pettis/tessa thompson) wanda cowell (brenda song) warren wentz (robert pattinson) wendell langston (link neal) wilbur robinson (david mazouz) winnie knox (sophie turner/jessica chastain) wren green (alexander calvert) wynona winstead (sarah hyland/cristin milioti) xander talbot (g-eazy) york pemberton (heather baron-gracie) yusef barlas (zayn malik) zack abrams (alex fitzalan) ziggy (taron egerton) zoey matthews (olivia munn)