#jesus christ the looks the queen kept giving her

[superbdragoncollection-stuff]

I am two hours into Star Trek Resurgence and I am currently playing a demisexual engineer trying to rebuff the advances of one of his friends and a pansexual first officer with a penchant for attracting aliens. This is definitely Star Trek.

[ebongawk]

The first time she said it, he thought maybe it was just a slip of the tongue or something.

"You're so pretty, Eddie."

They were sitting together at the picnic table, textbooks and homework spread out in front of them that Chrissy was diligently doing and Eddie was diligently ignoring in favor of making notes for his next Hellfire campaign. They'd been unlikely friends for a few weeks, Chrissy having come to him in search of drugs and instead found a tentative kinship with a fellow freak in the woods.

He looked up at her, feeling how rounded with surprise his own eyeballs were as he let out a guffaw of disbelief.

"I think that's my line, Chrissy. But a lowly jester sitting at the queen's court, I am meant to compliment your beauty that rivals the very essence of springtime. Not, uh, the other way around."

She giggled a little, but her eyes were still roving over his face. Searching for something, though Eddie had no fucking idea what.

After a minute, she shrugged, returning to her history essay.

Eddie just kinda figured that was that.

"Gosh, you're pretty," she said again a few weeks later.

He was riding the high of playing for her – finally, Jesus Christ – and laughed loudly enough for the entirety of the Hideout to hear. Still incredibly sweaty, he'd just jumped off the stage to come greet her immediately after their set finished.

Those were the first words that fell past the lips he'd spent more time than he cared to admit dreaming about.

"Damn, not even, 'Wow, Eddie, you're so good at guitar' or anything?" he jested, trying to shrug off her compliment with a joke. She beamed at him, giggling when he pitched his voice to try and match her dainty way of speaking. "You wound me, Cunningham! Am I not rockstar material?"

"All rockstars are good at guitar!" she cried in defiance. "But not all of them are pretty!"

"Not all rockstars are good at guitar! What about the bassists and the drummers and the singers?"

"That's not the point," she huffed before giving him that star shine grin that wrapped his heart in a fist and choked it until it was beating with the same resonance as her name. "But, um, you do play guitar really well, too."

That, he kinda figured, despite counting up all her little accidental compliments like rosebuds trying valiantly to bloom, should've been that.

But it was not.

"Eddie," she sighed, leaning heavily against his shoulder as they watched some stupid made-for-TV movie through the haze of their shared high. "Do you know how pretty you are?"

They were sprawled across the dingy couch in his trailer, snacking on popcorn – Eddie munching on, like, fifteen kernels to Chrissy's every one. He hadn't even realized she was looking at him.

Jesus. She was so close. So beautiful. Her pointy little chin pressed against his shoulder, staring up at him like he was a sunrise and she'd never before seen daytime.

"Me?" he scoffed, trying valiantly to buck the urge to kiss her. Fuck if he didn't want to, though. But that was, like, some law of the goddamn universe or something. Earth's magnetism sustained the gravity that kept everything from floating into space, matter cannot be created or destroyed, and Eddie Munson desperately wanted to kiss Chrissy Cunningham.

"Yes, you."

"Sweetness, have you looked in a mirror?" he asked, trying not to dwell too long on the verbal vomit that was this sudden introduction of a pet name. "You're a fucking knock out. Starlight in human form. Comparatively, I'm basically a gelatinous cube."

Though the D&D reference was lost on her, it did nothing to deter the sudden spark of fire behind her reddened eyes. In a move that stole the actual breath from his fucking lungs (since she already had the heart from his chest), Chrissy was swinging her leg over his and pulling herself into his lap.

Repeat for emphasis: into his fucking lap.

Both of her perfect, tiny little hands came up, gently cupping his jaw as she stared him dead in the eyes. Storm clouds meeting forested brown across burning coals.

"I may be starlight or springtime or whatever else you want to call me," she said, her voice taking on a severity he'd rarely heard from her. Not since she told Jason and his goons to leave the Hellfire kids alone a couple weeks ago, just before miraculously ending their monarchic relationship in front of the entire school. "But that doesn't negate the fact that you are also pretty."

"Uhh." She was way too fucking close for him to think clearly.

"Just accept the compliment, please."

He'd swallowed his tongue or something. Responding to her simply wasn't possible. He no longer had a voice box; it was lost in the ether of his weed-addled body. He just stared wide-eyed at the woman of his dreams who was currently straddling his lap and holding his face and opening up a variety of daydreams he'd had about this exact scenario, though not anywhere near under these circumstances.

A knock at the door broke them apart, someone calling through the door about pizza delivery, and Chrissy begrudgingly climbed off of Eddie to let him pay for their dinner.

He couldn't really let himself hope that she hadn't wanted to move.

"So pretty."

They were lying together in his bed, sweat still cooling on their spent bodies. Each of them turned onto their sides, eyes absorbing one another's nakedness as though still uncomprehending of how they'd made it to this moment.

Or, at least, Eddie was.

It was two-thirty in the morning when a frantic knocking had awoken him from a decently peaceful sleep. He'd stumbled out of his bedroom, expecting to find... well, he didn't even know. Something that most certainly was not Chrissy Cunningham, standing in her pajamas and tennis shoes, clutching the stuffed cat-bug-thing he'd won her at the Fourth of July fair two weeks ago with tears in her eyes and a determination set in the rigid line of her jaw.

(The plush was, admittedly, almost a little creepy, but also extremely cute, and it was the only thing Chrissy had gushed about for a full week, so.)

She'd barreled past him into the living room, bouncing on her toes and teeming with anxious energy that made his throat close and his eyes prick with tears unrelated to his interrupted sleep. It felt like she was here to slice his heart in two or something. It took true, actual willpower to shut the door and give her his attention.

"Uh, hey, Chrissy, what––"

"I love you," she blurted out, blinking like she hadn't expected those words to come out of her own mouth. Lips twisting, she pushed on, refusing to allow her admission to hang between them for even a second. "I'm, like, completely in love with you, Eddie. And–– And I've waited for you to notice, but you haven't, and at first I thought maybe you didn't like me back, and that was okay! Or, it–– it had to be okay, right? Because I valued our friendship so much. But then, at the fair, we were talking, and you mentioned that you liked someone, but you didn't say who, and I was so heartbroken that I cried for, like, three days, and then Nancy told me that I was being so dense, because of course you liked me, but how could that be, because you never said anything! And I thought I'd just come here and tell you because I can't keep it in anymore, Eddie, I can't––"

Her rambling had only cut off when Eddie finally found the strength to fucking move. He crossed the scant distance between them, cupping her jaw in his hands and pressing his lips to hers in a messy, imperfectly perfect kiss that tasted like pretty springtime starlight.

"Of course it's you, Cunningham," he'd rasped when they finally pulled apart. "It's been you my entire goddamn life."

They crashed into his bedroom after that, cat-bug-thing and tennis shoes and pajamas discarded in favor of skin and lips and hair and whispered promises caressing fevered flesh.

And now, she was gently caressing the line of his jaw, the curve of his cheek, the shell of his ear, and whispering, "So pretty," into the few inches of mattress between them like it was a brand she could sear into his very soul.

His first instinct was to shy away, to deny, to turn the compliment back on her and remind her that she was, in fact, the absolute definition of beauty in this world and every other galaxy. To tell her that sunlight fell from her hair and oceans crashed inside her eyes and every freckle dotting her skin was like a fresh raindrop on dewy summer grass.

Instead, he caught her hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to her palm, her thumb, each of her fingers, and whispered,

"Thank you, baby."

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 11

*Author's note*

Alright guys this will be the last update for awhile cause now you all are officially caught up on where I stopped with the story. Yeah I told yah I had about half of the movie itself done rn. Just a few more chapters then I'll write some chapters that'll go b/t DAWN & WAR. Glad people are enjoying this story and giving it a chance.

Now in this chapter things get pretty intense as a divide not only b/t Lin and the colony has started but also b/t the Apes as well with Koba and his dissent into madness. Be warned, there is a confrontation scene b/t Lin and Koba that might frighten you (depending on how well it is written to you). But there will be another scene b/t Lin and Caesar to calm things down afterwards. Anyway hope you all enjoyed this binge posting and until the next chapter comes up :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@queen-paladin

@psychosupernatural

________________________________________________________

As I walked further along the forests I soon came to the trail that would lead me towards the ape colony.  My breathing sharpened as I felt a pull to try and make things right, but I could also make things worse.  That fucker Carver just had to screw things for all of us, and now I may have lost Caesar for good this time.

But at the same time those old big sister instincts were festering in my gut.  After all these years I finally reunited with Caesar and I—I couldn’t bear to let us leave on these terms unlike before.

“Boys, keep an eye on Malcolm and the others. Make sure they don’t come to the camp.” I then left them as I raced down the trail towards the ape colony.

Once again I was stopped by the gorilla guard and brought into the colony.  Thankfully not being manhandled like before but they still had no ounce of trust as I was brought to Caesar.  I was then transferred from the gorilla guard to several chimps.

“Please, please all I ask is an audience with him. I just need five minutes with him.” I pleaded as I was lead up towards the same structure as Maurice lead me up last night, however instead of continuing to the top, I was taken to the top nest where Caesar, his son and a few other female chimps sitting around a sick female chimp.  “Caesar, I know I’m the last person you want to see but you have to believe me, I had no idea about Carver’s gun. I should’ve checked it myself instead of relying on Malcolm’s word or even Carver’s actions.”

“You….gave me. Your word!” Caesar growled lowly.

“I know. Believe me, I’m kicking myself repeatedly because of it. But I couldn’t leave without you at least knowing my truth. If it were up to me, Carver would never have come along. Please believe me, brother Ape.” At that statement, the female chimps who all looked like they were healers looked at me in shock, as did his son.

Caesar remained quiet and didn’t turn to face me.  That’s when a commotion was heard outside and I heard Malcolm’s voice say.

“Please, please I just need to speak to him.” I growled as I clenched my fists.  The second both him and Ellie showed themselves I exclaimed.

“Jesus Christ of course you’d be here! Why can’t you just stay the fuck away and leave me and them alone!? You’ve done enough!”

“Lin please. You have every right to be angry, but just give me time to explain it to him.” He then went around me as he said to Caesar. “I’m sorry. That was all my fault, but I will make him leave.”

“This my home.” Caesar grunted. “You should not be here.” He then spoke softer as he kept his back toward us.

“I understand.” Malcolm replied.

“Malcolm.” Ellie said to him softly as she took noticed of the sick female chimp on the bed.

Now that my attention fully went to her, I could hear her wheezing and around her brows she had what almost looked like beads that were almost in a circlet-crown fashion.  And she didn’t just look sick, she looked like she was on death’s doorstep.  Like Caroline was when she got sick with the virus.

“She’s sick.” Malcolm pointed out, which got some of the other female chimps’ attention.

“How long has she been this way?” asked Ellie.  No one gave her an answer but Caesar turned to glare at her.  “I have medicine. Antibiotics.” Ellie offered.

“Maybe she can help.” Malcolm suggested.

“Do. Not. Trust you.” Caesar spoke softly before looking back down at the female chimp.

“I don’t blame you. But believe me, we’re not all like him.” Malcolm told him.

“Caesar.” I then spoke up.  Slowly I came forward and said, “I’m sure you all have tried everything you can for her, but it seems that nothing is working for her. Ellie—is the best doctor I’ve had the privilege of knowing. Please, let her help.” I said kneeling down beside him.  I looked down at the wheezing female chimp and signed to him.  ‘Who is she?’

‘Cornelia. My wife.’ Caesar signed back to me.  I looked down at Cornelia and remembered that name from the shelter all those years ago.  I can see why Caesar fell for her, she was one of the most beautiful female chimps.  And she always had such a curious and kind nature about her.

‘You were right. She is beautiful.’ I signed.  ‘When Will lost Caroline, he was so heartbroken and distraught. It was like he lost a piece of himself. I know you don’t want to lose her, nor your sons to lose their mother when there’s still a chance to save her.’

Caesar looked at me and I could just see it in his eyes.  Those same heartbroken, bloodshot eyes that Will had after Caroline had passed.  The tears hidden within and I could faintly see a small tear slide down his face.  After a moment of us staring at each other, he stepped aside and allowed Ellie to do her work.

I then gave Ellie a hand gesture for her to come forward and help Cornelia.  Slowly she came up removing her backpack and as I left to give her space to work, I felt Caesar’s hand take mine and he gripped onto it tightly.

Even if his face wouldn’t show it before Ellie and Malcolm, I knew that his grip was one of pleading for help.  I could just feel in his grip the fear and worry he had for his beloved wife and how he couldn’t bare to lose her.  I stepped closer to hide our hands as I squeezed his hand back assuringly.

“One day.” Caesar then spoke up.  Ellie looked up at him and Caesar repeated, “You stay…one day.”

‘Father, no!’ his eldest son signed out as he looked at his father in shock.

“We might need a little more time…..” Malcolm started but Caesar roared as he faced him.

“ONE DAY!” Caesar’s breath sharpened briefly before he continued, “Ape will help.”

‘I will not help!’ his son signed again as he narrowed his eyes angrily at his father.  I glared at Malcolm and told him.

“You’re lucky to even get a day Malcolm, don’t push it. And this time, all conditions must be met. No exceptions.”

“The moment we get back to camp, Carver’s going down to the trucks.” Assured Malcolm.  But that didn’t sit right with me

“Take the keys before you leave him. I’ll even have Kiba, Tsume and Hige stand watch over him to ensure he doesn’t do anything stupid. And if he does—I’ll hold no responsibilities to what happens to him.”

“Lin….”

“I’m serious Malcolm. You knew bringing him was a bad idea the moment he shot the young ape. He’s nothing but trouble and yet you still brought him along.”  Malcolm was silent as we locked eyes with each other before he finally said.

“Alright. I’ll—keep my mouth shut if your wolves have to attack him. They did defend you after all back at the dam.”

“And I didn’t even tell them to attack him. If he somehow stays alive by morning when we get this done. I want to ensure no one is going to rat out my pack to the colony.”

“Whatever you want Lin.” I released Caesar’s hand and walked up to Malcolm and extended my hand out.

“Then we’re in an agreement.” Malcolm took my hand and we shook on it.  I squeezed his hand as tight as I could, digging my nails into his skin.  “Don’t make me regret this.” I hissed lowly at him.

After Ellie was done giving Cornelia and telling the other female chimps what to watch out for in case things went south, we all headed back to the camp with the escort of the apes.

Malcolm informed the others that we could stay but Carver had to go.  No one but the accused party spoke up against this matter.  So as Carver was screaming out how this was bullshit, Foster forced him down the hill and I said to Kiba.

“You, Tsume and Hige keep an eye on him. He tries anything, you know what to do.” Kiba looked me with those piercing yellow eyes of his before lowly growling before turning to Tsume and Hige and letting out a few grunts and snarls.

Tsume and Hige turned to each other before the two of them raced after Foster and Carver snarling and barking with Kiba running right behind them doing the same.  Toboe wanted to race after them but I told him.

“Toboe guard!” He came over to me and curled his body behind my legs. I then turned to Caesar and asked, “I know you must’ve had some bad experiences with wolves in the past, but I’d like to offer this pup as aid in helping to dig out the debris. Being the pup of the pack, Toboe has done his fair share of digging holes in order to catch rabbits and foxes. He’s certainly gotten into his fair share of trouble a time or two poking into the wrong holes. But he knows who to attack and who not to attack.”

“Pup may help.” Caesar said.  I scratched the back of Toboe’s head as he leaned against my touch grunting lovingly.  “Follow Toboe.” He looked between my hand pointing out to Caesar and me before getting the message as he walked over to Caesar’s horse. 

“The rest of us, while the apes clear off the debris, we’ll start working on the main power station. We’ve got a lot of work to do and little time to do it.” Malcolm told the others as we all gathered our materials and headed back to the dam.

While Luca and half the apes along with Toboe went down to the bottom to clear off the debris from the explosion earlier this morning, the rest of the apes including Caesar and Maurice were with us in the main power building trying to fix the power grid that way once things were cleared up from down below, we could try and turn everything on and get things running quicker.

“Yo Alex, this relay’s busted. See if there’s another one.” Foster said as he was at one of the control panels and found a relay that was completely useless from years of rust and erosion.  Foster handed Alexander the old relay, he took a good long look at it before heading over to the other side of the dam to see if there was another relay to put into the controls.  I walked over to Foster and asked.

“So I remember briefly from science class, but how exactly does water power work exactly? Like I completely understand solar power but is there a difference?”

“More or less.” Foster explained as he began digging his hands into the exposed power box.  “You saw how the dam has that steep slope down pass the river.”

“Yeah.”

“Well the steeper the slope, the more power that can be made. Once the water is collected through the tunnels that we tried to clear off, the turbines within the dam will start collecting filling up with water, when there’s enough water it’ll connect to these generators and we should be able to restore power. After turning a few switches in order to get it through the city, that’s all it should take. But that’s if we can get these generators up and running as best we can.”

“Yeah I can already see. All these wires are completely eroded and faulty.”

“But I gotta keep the faith that we’ll get this thing running. Especially now with Carver out of the picture and not causing any trouble.”

“If I had a beer I’d say I’ll drink to that.”

“I’ve got a few pints of some old whiskey back at my place, be willing to drink a cup or two with you if you’re up for it.” Foster offered.

“After all I’ve seen these past 10 years, I think Whiskey would do me good.” A loud bang was heard and I turned to see that Alexander had been pushed down to the ground by none other than the scarred bonobo.

“Hey!” Alexander cried as the bonobo fully turned towards him baring his teeth.  Malcolm went over to defend his son, but he was unfortunately going at it the wrong way.  He held his arm out telling the bonobo to stop so I quickly got in front of them.

“Back off Scarface!” I snapped as I stood as tall as I could be, while the bonobo hissed at me.  “The kid and his dad are pushovers. I’m the one you really want to fight!” I spoke louder in a challenge.

His one good eye looked at me almost as if he were analyzing me but both his eyes widened in recognition.  This time pure rage encompassed him as he grabbed me by the shirt and had me pinned to the ground.

“LIN!” Alexander called out for me but his dad held him back.  The bonobo hovered over me, baring his fangs and I was brought back to that day in the redwoods when Will and I said goodbye to Caesar.  A scarred-face bonobo had ambushed us and Will had me almost buried behind his back as the bonobo was snarling and ready to tear my uncle’s face off.

Oh god….it was him! It all made sense now, this was the same bonobo that nearly killed me and Uncle Will had Caesar not intervened.  And now I’ve willingly offered myself to this crazed ape who already had a raw hatred for humans.

“You…..” he panted.  Unlike Caesar’s voice that was both commanding but could also had warmth to it, this ape’s voice was cold and harsh as ice as it sent fear down my spine.  “Look…..like….him.”  I was then picked up once again before being tossed towards Malcolm and Alex who both caught me.  Like my uncle, Malcolm now stood between the crazed bonobo and me and Alexander.

“No, no, no, no don’t! Don’t leave her!” The bonobo took another step closer snarling and baring his teeth, but soon another figure stood between us.  A large mass of orange fur stood tall before the three of us blocking us from the bonobo’s sight.  It was Maurice.

A deep grumble came out of his throat as he stared the bonobo down as a warning.  And I knew orangutans were at least twice or maybe more times stronger than chimps and bonobos (thank you Caroline).  As Maurice stood guard over us, the bonobo hissed out.

“Where Caesar? Want Caesar. CAESAR!!!” he then roared out.  I could just feel from his voice alone the raw anger and rage behind his roar.  Malcolm cupped my face and mouthed to me.

“You okay?” my adrenaline was finally coming down as I felt almost limp and nearly collapsed against him.  Both he and Alexander helped me up onto the stairs as Caesar finally made his appearance.

A deepening scowl was across his face as he slowly came out into the main room as the bonobo snarled at him.

“Humans…attack your sons! You. Let them stay! Put apes in danger!” the bonobo walked up to Caesar in a challenging manner as he continued to push at Caesar’s buttons.  “Caesar…love humans. More than Apes! More. Than. Your….sons!” he jabbed his finger into Caesar’s chest as a challenge as he spoke his last statement.

I having bared witnessed at what Caesar is willing to do for family, knew the bonobo had crossed the line.  He was taken away from us because he was defending me and grandpa from Hunsiker’s wrath.  There’s nothing Caesar loves more in this world than his family.  And to say that while his own son was here, this bonobo had just royally fucked up.

The scowl on Caesar’s face soon morphed into nothing but pure rage.  His body trembling and his breathing sharpened as he was now like a volcano ready to explode.  And boy did he.

Caesar let out a rageful cry as he tackled the bonobo, the two of them rolling on top of each other as they fought.  The other apes cleared the way as they all screeched and hooted hysterically.  While we humans could only watch in horror and shock as two apes went toe to toe with each other in a flurry of punches and body slams.

My body froze with fear as I saw the bonobo first rapidly beat Caesar in the chest with his fists before Caesar got the supper hand and got the bonobo pinned onto his back and returned the favor but it was also fueled with a parent’s rage.

Now that Caesar had an opponent he could fully rival, I was now seeing a side of Caesar that Caroline had warned Will and I of.  This primal rage that chimpanzees had, the tale of Travis the chimp, I was seeing it right before my eyes.

Not only was he beating the bonobo to the point of almost punching his face in, he also had the bonobo by the throat with his bare hands as he slammed him down on the ground multiple times before letting out this primal yell.  It shook me too my core and filled me with an icy sense of fear that I hadn’t felt in so long.

He could’ve ended it all, he could’ve ended it right then and there.  But just when everyone both human and ape thought Caesar would go through with it, he released his hold on the bonobo and his rage was finally extinguished into exhaustion.

“Ape…..not….kill….ape.” panted Caesar as he got off of the bonobo.  The bonobo still gasping for air and bleeding profusely from his face looked around but saw that no ape dared to look at him.

At this point there was no going back.  To go against the Alpha means you’re officially an outcast to the troop.  The bonobo slowly got up, kneeling down and extended his hand as he panted.

“Forgive me.” He said to Caesar after a long moment of pure silence.  Caesar looked around to all the apes before looking down at the bonobo’s extended hand.  He slowly reached out for it and when barely a touch went to the bonobo’s palm, he slinked away.  I then watched as Caesar’s eldest son turned to his father with a look of betrayal before he too left.

Caesar looked down heartbrokenly before leaving the dam leaving us wondering if we should continue to work or just leave sense the tension from the fight was still in the air.

“What do we do now?” asked Ellie.

“Work for another hour, and then we head back to camp.” Malcolm stated.  While everyone was slowly starting to go back to work, I got up and followed the same path Caesar took.

“Lin where are you going? Lin!?” Malcolm’s voice echoed but I didn’t respond back to him.

I exited the dam and soon caught sight of Caesar sitting alone by the reservoir.  His arms wrapped around his legs as he sat there by the edge of the water.

“Caesar?” I softly called out to him.  I looked at him empathetically before slowly coming over and sat down beside him.  “I’m sorry. I know us being here is causing such a rift within your troop.”

“If work not get done,” Caesar said before turning to look at me. “More humans come.”

“Yeah. Humans that I unfortunately cannot control. And who will bring guns. The sooner we get this dam working the better. And all will go back to what it was.” I said looking at him before turning my attention back to the water.

“Human…will not. Forget.”

“We may not forget, but at least there won’t be a reason for them to come back here. Not even me.” I turned back towards him, “After we leave, I’ll keep my promise from that day. You stay, I go. No following. Now that I know you’re here, there’s no reason for me to come into these woods. This is your home, and I won’t come into it anymore.”

“You…saved my sons. You are…no threat.”

“I may not be a threat but this is still your home. And I didn’t ask permission to hunt in your home. Nor the pack. They might not like staying in the city, so I might just have to leave them here. Let them finally be free, just like you are.”

“They would miss you.” I smiled softly.

“I know they would. But they deserve their best chance, and that’s being able to live freely. I’ll be fine.” My heart felt heavy as I spoke this as I was brought back to the day we said goodbye to one another.

“Where you….go now?”

“I might stay with the colony a few more days just to pack some provisions. After that I might go East. Or South. See if there’s another place out there somewhere for me.” I felt Caesar’s leather finger graze against my cheek and I turned to look at him again.

‘I’d be willing to give you part of the woods as a new home for you.’ I smiled at the offer but deep down I knew it would only turn into disaster.  I took notice of his bloody hands and took out an old bandana from my coat pocket and dabbed it into the water.

“May I?” he held out his hand and I took it into my left hand then began wiping the blood with the wet bandana.  “I finally pieced together just who the bonobo was. He was the same one you stopped from attacking Will and I that day.”

“Koba.” Caesar said his name.  “Tested by humans at lab.”

“Uncle Will’s lab.” Caesar nodded softly.

“My son…..learn from Koba. As well learned from me. Koba’s hatred for humans….pulls my son to him.”

“He’s young Caesar. He’s just learning that the world he’s been raised on has now been turned upside down because of the humans arrival.” I chuckled softly as I finished cleaning the last bit of blood from Caesar’s knuckles, “Reminds me a bit of you at his age. A young, revolutionist who fought for the rights of Apes. Who freed them of their bonds, taught them to have a voice, and lead them to the Promised Land.” Caesar let out a deep, heavy sigh before saying.

“Just….want my son…to be the leader. I know….he can be.”

“But you’ve also gotta let him take his own path. What you’ve done Caesar…its a lot to live up to. Yes he’ll make mistakes, like I’m sure you have in your decade as leader. Nobody’s perfect. And I know he’ll make the right decision when it comes down to it. You just gotta give him that chance.”

I placed my hand over his and the two of us stared into each other’s eyes.  The two of us slowly leaning towards one another our forehead almost ready to touch when we both heard the sound of footsteps walking along the pebbled shore.  I released my hand from Caesar’s as I separated from him as Kemp came up and said.

“We’ve done all we can do for now. Malcolm wants us back at camp before it gets dark. We’ll get started as early as we can the next morning, especially since the debris has now been cleared out.”

“I’ll meet you there Kemp.”

“You’re not walking with us?”

“I gotta go grab Toboe. I’ll make it there before it gets dark, don’t worry.” He nodded before leaving us.  “Better go down and get that pup before he buries himself alive, again.” I then headed over to the tunnel entrance and let out a single howl.

I heard the splooshing sound of water as running up was the young red wolf pup.  He yipped and shook himself of the dirt and water.  I exclaimed as I told him.

“Come on pup, I’ll give you a proper clean up when we get back to camp.” I carried him out of the tunnel’s stairway and we soon got back to the shore.  Caesar and I locked eyes one last time and there was a bittersweet feeling as we stared at each other.

His proposal replayed in my mind but I just couldn’t accept it.  Caesar had his people, and I—I’m just destined to be alone.  Being around Carver’s paranoia and having Dreyfus’ threat looming in the back of my mind made me realize why I prefer to be alone. 

While there’s still good people like Malcolm and his family, they will always be overshadowed by the evil that grasped humanity and increased tenfold ever since the Simian Flu outbreak.  And if word ever got out about who I really am, I doubt the colony would even want anything to do with me.

Their fear, their hatred, and the inhumane actions I’ve seen them do to one another.  But then again I’m no saint either, I too walked along that hateful path, but I soon realized just what I was becoming and I hated myself every day because of who I was becoming.

That’s why I’m better off alone.  I don’t want to take anyone down that path if there comes a time when I have to become that person again.

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

18th April >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Thursday, Third Week of Eastertide 

or

Saint Laserian (or Molaise), Bishop.

Thursday, Third Week of Eastertide 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 8:26-40 Philip baptizes a eunuch.

The angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, ‘Be ready to set out at noon along the road that goes from Jerusalem down to Gaza, the desert road.’ So he set off on his journey. Now it happened that an Ethiopian had been on pilgrimage to Jerusalem; he was a eunuch and an officer at the court of the kandake, or queen, of Ethiopia, and was in fact her chief treasurer. He was now on his way home; and as he sat in his chariot he was reading the prophet Isaiah. The Spirit said to Philip, ‘Go up and meet that chariot.’ When Philip ran up, he heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, ‘Do you understand what you are reading?’ ‘How can I’ he replied ‘unless I have someone to guide me?’ So he invited Philip to get in and sit by his side. Now the passage of scripture he was reading was this:

Like a sheep that is led to the slaughter-house, like a lamb that is dumb in front of its shearers, like these he never opens his mouth. He has been humiliated and has no one to defend him. Who will ever talk about his descendants, since his life on earth has been cut short!

The eunuch turned to Philip and said, ‘Tell me, is the prophet referring to himself or someone else?’ Starting, therefore, with this text of scripture Philip proceeded to explain the Good News of Jesus to him. Further along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, ‘Look, there is some water here; is there anything to stop me being baptised?’ He ordered the chariot to stop, then Philip and the eunuch both went down into the water and Philip baptised him. But after they had come up out of the water again Philip was taken away by the Spirit of the Lord, and the eunuch never saw him again but went on his way rejoicing. Philip found that he had reached Azotus and continued his journey proclaiming the Good News in every town as far as Caesarea.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 65(66):8-9,16-17,20

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

O peoples, bless our God, let the voice of his praise resound, of the God who gave life to our souls and kept our feet from stumbling.

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

Come and hear, all who fear God. I will tell what he did for my soul: to him I cried aloud, with high praise ready on my tongue.

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

Blessed be God who did not reject my prayer nor withhold his love from me.

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia, alleluia! The Lord, who hung for us upon the tree, has risen from the tomb. Alleluia!

Or: John 6:51

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the living bread which has come down from heaven, says the Lord. Anyone who eats this bread will live for ever. Alleluia!

Gospel John 6:44-51 I am the living bread which has come down from heaven.

Jesus said to the crowd:

‘No one can come to me unless he is drawn by the Father who sent me, and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets: They will all be taught by God, and to hear the teaching of the Father, and learn from it, is to come to me. Not that anybody has seen the Father, except the one who comes from God: he has seen the Father. I tell you most solemnly, everybody who believes has eternal life.

‘I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the desert and they are dead; but this is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that a man may eat it and not die. I am the living bread which has come down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will live for ever; and the bread that I shall give is my flesh, for the life of the world.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

--------------------------------------

Saint Laserian (or Molaise), Bishop 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 13:46-49 Since you have rejected the word of God, we must turn to the pagans.

Paul and Barnabas spoke out boldly. ‘We had to proclaim the word of God to you first, but since you have rejected it, since you do not think yourselves worthy of eternal life, we must turn to the pagans. For this is what the Lord commanded us to do when he said:

I have made you a light for the nations, so that my salvation may reach the ends of the earth.’

It made the pagans very happy to hear this and they thanked the Lord for his message; all who were destined for eternal life became believers. Thus the word of the Lord spread through the whole countryside.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 88(89):2-5,21-22,25,27

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord; through all ages my mouth will proclaim your truth. Of this I am sure, that your love lasts for ever, that your truth is firmly established as the heavens.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have made a covenant with my chosen one; I have sworn to David my servant: I will establish your dynasty for ever and set up your throne through all ages.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have found David my servant and with my holy oil anointed him. My hand shall always be with him and my arm shall make him strong.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘My truth and my love shall be with him; by my name his might shall be exalted. He will say to me: “You are my father, my God, the rock who saves me.”’

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

Gospel Acclamation Matthew 23:9,10

Alleluia, alleluia! You have only one Father, and he is in heaven; you have only one Teacher, the Christ. Alleluia!

Or: Matthew 28:19,20

Alleluia, alleluia! Go, make disciples of all the nations. I am with you always; yes, to the end of time. Alleluia!

Or: Mark 1:17

Alleluia, alleluia! Follow me, says the Lord, and I will make you into fishers of men. Alleluia!

Or: Luke 4:18

Alleluia, alleluia! The Lord has sent me to bring the good news to the poor, to proclaim liberty to captives. Alleluia!

Or: John 10:14

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the good shepherd, says the Lord; I know my own sheep and my own know me. Alleluia!

Or: John 15:5

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: 2 Corinthians 5:19

Alleluia, alleluia! God in Christ was reconciling the world to himself, and he has entrusted to us the news that they are reconciled. Alleluia!

Gospel Matthew 9:35-37 The harvest is rich but the labourers are few.

Jesus made a tour through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Good News of the kingdom and curing all kinds of diseases and sickness. And when he saw the crowds he felt sorry for them because they were harassed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is rich but the labourers are few, so ask the Lord of the harvest to send labourers to his harvest.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[buildingthegrandtour]

Tower Green

She moves like winter in the spring The perfect in-between of reality and dream The world could never see the beauty of my Condemned Queen Seen in her last moment atop the Tower Green

The parchment pages were already filling with the thoughts of Anne Boelyn. History books were being written in the minds of the courtiers, her face and character not painted kindly. They would give a portrait in words, making her seem as ugly on the outside as they saw her on the inside.

The Condemned Queen. She broke the religion and marriage of the Sovereign King to take her own place as Queen Consort at his side. She never granted the male heir she had promised, only a little red haired girl, and her public tantrums were becoming too much for the king or the court to bear. The woman did not know her place. How such a wicked person could rise to her status was fodder for unfriendly speculation. Here, on the scaffold of Tower Green, she will meet her fall.

In one moment every rumor, every preconceived notion that I had of her was shattered into pieces. I knew it was this that would redeem her within the pages of history.

As I sharpened my blade I watched the doors to the tower open. I was familiar with the place from which she had emerged; dark, cold, soulless. The priest and the constable to either side of her added to the somberness of her current position. But Anne….

She walked as though she were coming through the Gates of Heaven. Dressed humbly in white rags, her brown hair covered in a tattered head dress, her feet bare on the cold ground. Yet she kept a regal gait, with no waver in her step, no betrayal of fear in her stature.

I caught her eye for a split second, and I felt I could read her mind.

What would one think to themselves at a time such as this? To know that your consciousness in the mortal world would fade to black in a matter of seconds.

She was not afraid. She had a resolve stronger than anything could think to break. This was the place to where her path had lead. It did not matter whether or not it was fair or just. This was her fate, and she had accepted it.

The sky was overcast, dark clouds rolling in with the promise of rain. The grass was muted to a sepia tone, and the scaffold looked as though it was a hole falling into nothingness. Anne’s meager clothing did not make her less beautiful. She was clothed in the sky. A light broke through the clouds as she began to speak. Her voice was a bell breaking through the weight that held us down. Heaven and earth knew this was the last time her mortal voice would speak, and they were keen to hear what it was she had to say.

The only audience was the king, the priest, the constable, and myself; but the Condemned Queen addressed the Kingdom of England as a whole. The words she spoke were sincere, laden with nothing but the utmost love her King and Country. No tear watered in her beautiful eyes, her voice remained composed through every spoken word.

My hands shook as I covered her face with the blindfold. Covered with the moisture of sweat made the axe difficult to grip, even through the gloves. My step faltered a little bit as she knelt and placed her head on the scaffold without prompting. As she put herself in dying position I heard her quietly repeating a prayer.

To Jesus Christ I commend my soul; Lord Jesus receive my soul.

As she repeated her words, True Faith coloring every syllable, I could feel my own spirit falling into the abyss. A part of me knew what it was in my own life that this path would lead me to. This young girl, the Condemned Queen, guilty of being far too ambitious for her own good. If ever the world would be ready for the likes of her, she was far removed from her time. IT was my place to remove the light that was Anne Boelyn.

Thunder grumbled in the distance as I lifted my axe. I hesitated, afraid to sever her. Was this a test? Would God be angry for the choice I’ve made?

I looked to King Henry VIII, faltering in his own resolve. He may not be able to see her as his queen anymore, but he felt love for her to see that faith. He felt sorrow, for he knew it was too late to turn back.

Only a few hours ago the sun had climbed up to light the sky. Now it was dark midnight, and the world has gone away. Nobody was left there at Tower Green save for Condemned Queen and Executioner. I could feel myself dying along side her, a death of my own merely a stroke of the blade away.

Lightning flashed white, the blade dropping as I closed my eyes against the brightness of the electric sky. Thunder rolled as the killing blow struck Anne’s neck. I stumbled for a moment, appalled at what I had done. I lifted the axe once more, then struck the final, severing blow.

The rain never did come that day to wash away the blood of my Condemned Queen. I never felt the same knowing the full weight of my place. I spent that night sitting on a church pew, muttering a small prayer of my own. As time goes by I will be forgotten, name not even known.

She will hold a kinder place in the history books. It was the path she took, the choices she had made that had led her to the end of her story. She had come to terms with her fate. I hope that in time I will be able to come to terms with mine just the same.

featured in Fictional History available on amazon

[isaacapatow]

"If you wanted to stay surviving on your own in the forest, chickadee, you coulda kept on doing that." Ike didn't let go of her backpack, keeping her stationary. "But you decided to be in Redwood, you decided to be part of our community. Jesus christ I'm tired of you military types thinking that everything's a goddamn lone-wolf mission and you don't need anybody at all and you should be allowed to do whatever you want on your own. It doesn't fucking work that way."

He let go of her, peering with a frown at her ankle. "We don't kick people out for having disabilities," he harrumphed, dropping to a crouch and patting his knee, indicating that Ally should put her foot up against it for him to see. "Hupsy-daisy. Lemme take a look at it."

Ike wasn't at all certain she'd comply, so he kept talking in the meanwhile: "You make a lot of assumptions. And none of them seem to be positive. So lemme clear some things up for you, Ally." He ticked back through all her hurled imprecations, picking out the things he wanted to address. "First off, I don't give a sugar-dipped good god damn about who-you-were back before all this. You coulda been the Queen of Latveria for all I care. Just like you don't give a candy-coated shit who I was, before this, though big thanks for your sorries about my mommy and daddy and surviving starvation!"

He raised his eyebrows at her with a wide, sarcastic smile and a thumbs-up before returning to what he was saying. "What I'm concerned about is that you're being a little bitch-bag right now, here, in a survival situation where I gotta know that you're gonna act like a decent human being to me because, hell, my survival depends on it too. So either you understand that I'm an actual person who's capable of handling his own shit and expects you to handle yours, and neither of us needs to care about each other's tragic backstory, or we turn this car around right now and go home."

He patted his knee again. "But first lemme look at that. Because if you came out here without something to help you walk? Or to keep this shit tight and supported? Then we got bigger problems with how pigheaded you are."

growing more and more frustrated, ally finally stopped to face ike. "no. you can ask zack about all the people that had fun beating me up, and can complain to him about patching me up after, if it's that bad having me here. listen. maybe i did grow up privileged. maybe i was famous back then. but neither had i a choice, nor did i choose this life. that doesn't change that i love my family, and will always defend them and their lifestyle. my father was a nobody before he climbed his way up the ladder, an immigrant, and he fought for people that actually needed the help. it's not my fault the government fucked everything up, and it's also not my fault that i was born into the hands of two successful, fucking-amazing parents. sorry that you have daddy and mommy issues, ike, and maybe had to scrape food of the ground to survive, but turns fucking out, we're all on the same level now! you guessed it correctly!" wildly gesturing around with her hands, ally acted as if she was looking around, "no secret service near! fuck! how will i survive on my own! i've never fucking done that before!"

pausing, ally let her hands sink back down again. "how will i survive without the big bad ike protecting me in the forest, alone, where i've spent the last fucking two years? no idea!" she added a grumbled 'dickhead' as soon as he grabbed the handle of her backpack, which had her stopping again.

"because i'm already privileged and annoying and noisy, so why would i need another issue for you to deal with?" she bit back, "i've had the injury for years now." on a more serious note, she added: "i was afraid you'd kick me out as soon as you'd hear of it."

[spicler-man]

fostered/adopted peter parker

masterlist here Don't Give Up On Me (Please) by id_rather_be_reading_3

Since the death of his aunt and uncle a year ago, Peter Parker has bounced around foster homes faster than a pinball at full speed. Why? He blames Spiderman. His constant secret keeping, lying, and sneaking out because of his alter ego has kept him from staying in a home for too long, but he refuses to give up the vigilanteism (that's a word, right?) At this point, he's given up hope on ever finding a forever home.

Tony Stark never expected to get so attached to his young new intern, Peter Parker. But when he finds out that the kid is moving foster homes too far away for him to keep up the internship, he takes matters into his own hands. He soon finds out, though, that housing Peter Parker is a lot harder than mentoring him.

(eventual adoption, because how else would this end?)

ALSO--this story has officially been nominated for the Irondad Creator Awards 2022! If you enjoyed this fic, please consider voting for it on their tumblr blog! (and to whoever nominated it--I love you forever and think you're awesome, thank you 3000)

5 Times Tony Acted Like Peter’s Dad by for_the_night for LittleMissAgrafina

And the one time he actually was.

*Featuring an award evening, nightmares, a father-son field trip, appendicitis, and a very special gift - oh, and SO many forehead kisses.*

Welcome Home My Boy (Welcome Home My Son) by sdottkrames for Skeeter_110

Tony's life has never been more full of family...but something is still missing.

Peter Parker lives in an orphanage in severe disrepair.

And Pepper Potts has an idea that will bring them both together.

Be Your Protector by waitingondaisies

After so long of being bounced around from placement to placement in the foster system, Peter is on his last chance to stay in Queens and stay at Midtown. He’s desperate to keep this placement, even if it means not getting enough food and getting locked in the closet sometimes. The problem arises when he’s unable to let Happy know he won’t be able to make it to the compound, leading to Mr Stark getting involved. And as a mechanic, once he’s made aware of a problem, he just has to fix it.

If there are no other foster homes in Queens, then Tony will just have to make one.

From Fraud to Father by TonyStarkissist

“Tony,” she placated, “all you have to do is read a couple children's books to them and answer a few of their questions. You’ll be fine.”

“Will you come with me? You’re so good with kids,” he pleaded as she finished up with his collar and awkwardly patted the lapels of his suit down, forcing a smile onto her face when she looked up at him.

“No. I’ve got a lot of work to do. Phil’s going with you, though, and so is Happy. You shouldn’t have a problem. They'll make sure you don't do anything stupid.”

Theres a long pause before Tony finally voices his true concern.

“But what if one of them sneezes on me?"

Take it easy, take it easy by sturionic

“Tony," Rhodes groans, "I am begging you. Please just explain your thought process to me, man. I want to understand where you’re at.”

“Well, honey bear, it’s simple. Kid needs a home. I have a home. I need another pair of hands to help take care of this baby. The kid has hands.”

“Yeah, okay.” Rhodes rolls his eyes. “You didn’t answer my first question. What makes you think he’ll even want to live with you?”

Tony raises an eyebrow. “I told you,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Morgan likes him, and he likes Morgan. Plus, we bonded. In space.”

“Okay!” Rhodes throws up his hands in resignation. “Okay. I give up. Whatever. Adopt Spider-Man. Jesus Christ."

-

Peter survives the Snap only to find he's alone once again, and Tony Stark steps off the Benatar to find James Rhodes holding his month-old daughter with Pepper nowhere in sight. At first it's an arrangement of convenience and mutual grief. Someday, God willing, it might become a family.

The 1 Time Some Avengers Didn't Believe Tony Was Father Material And The 5 Times They Were Proven Wrong by thisisnotourlasthunt for Mrs_Potts_Stark

“Wait. So you're telling me Tony adopted a toddler, just because? Will he even pay attention to the kid? Are you sure this isn’t to boost his reputation after Miami?”

“Well that’s unexpected, I never thought I’d see Tony as a father.”

“In summary, Tony brought a toddler to the tower where literally two spies, a super soldier, occasionally a God, and a Hulk constantly visit and house? What was he thinking?”

“Sure. So what? Is your new job being a nanny or what? Cause I can’t see Tony taking care of a child by himself.”

-*-*-

It didn’t matter what the others said about him, he was going to be the best fucking father to his son.

And I'm Nothing Like You by Chara426

“I say I’m not good with kids But only half of that is true See, I’m just not good No, I’m nothing like you"

Once a month, a random child in the foster care system is selected to spend the day with Tony Stark. It just so happens one month, Peter Parker is the lucky kid.

No Ulterior Motive (REUPLOAD) by ob_liv_ious_writer

When Peter saw a spelling mistake on the Stark Industries website, he decided that he had to fix it, no matter what the consequences could be.

When Tony saw that the hacker that managed to evade him was a reckless, too-skinny foster kid, he decided that he was going to offer him an internship.

No ulterior motives.

Not at all.

(reuploaded because the author is a dumbass - explanation in notes)

The Kid Behind The Mask by inkinmyheartandonthepage

Peter Parker never wanted the Avenger’s to find out his identity – especially Tony Stark and Stephen Strange who had become his mentors/father figures. When a cold snap hit’s New York, Peter finds himself in trouble.

Family Means Nobody Gets Left Behind by punkybunny

"Tony was about to brush it off again, say something about how it was the least he could do. But before he could speak, he heard a small voice timidly asking, "I-Iron man?"

Peering downward, the man spotted who the voice belonged to. A young boy with unruly brown curls and wide eyes stared back at him from a couple feet away. The kid looked very tiny, maybe only four or five years old. "

Aka Tony fosters a young boy named Peter who happens to be a little genius. This is just gonna be a ton of family fluff, maybe a little angst!

Sometimes Family Finds You by inkinmyheartandonthepage 

As Peter looked around the crowd now, he couldn’t see Mr. Hammer. He wondered if the man had left again, forgetting that he had brought Peter with him. Mr. Hammer seemed to forget Peter a lot.

OR

Justin Hammer adopted Peter for a publicity stunt and doesn't take good care of Peter. When Tony Stark finds out, he has a lot to say.

[sirendeepity]

Books I've read in 2022

I'm starting this on 24/09 because I know the time this is going to take me will be too much, so (present-me note: it didn't take me too much, just an hour or so, I was just feeling lazy)

77/ 22 (updated to: /52)

The Foxhole Court ★★★★.5

The Raven King ★★★★.5

The King's Men ★★★★.5 (there's not a single right thing in here but yes?? Read this shit??)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue ★★★★ (not as life-altering as they said it would be but oh, Luc)

The Inheritance Games ★★★★ (the vibes were there but everything else was not? TikTok what are you doing?? At least it was fun tho)

The Hawthorne Legacy ★★★.5

Caraval ★★★★

Legendary ★★★★★ (Tella <333 Dante <333 Jacks <333)

Finale ★★★★★

House of Sky and Breath ★★★ (where do I begin: loved Bryce, but now not anymore, loved the story, now it's giving me the ick, Hunt was neutral, now I lowkey hate him, Tharion wtf is wrong with you, but the Rhun, Flynn, Dec trio with Ithan and the new (female) addictions? Immaculate. Ariadne is queen aND I WANT HER WITH FLYNN THEY ARE SERVINGGGG)

The Love Hypothesis ★★★★ (I read that this year? Mh)

From Lukov With Love ★★★

Shatter Me ★★★ (half a let-down, half a mind trip, but Kenji <333)

Destroy Me ★★★★★

Unravel Me ★★★.5

Fracture Me ★★★.5

Ignite Me ★★★★

Restore Me ★★★.5

Shadow Me ★★★★

Defy Me ★★★★

Reveal Me ★★★★

Imagine Me ★★★★

Believe Me ★★★ (I kept asking myself why Aaron was still a bitch until I realized that's how morally gray characters are supposed to be and not the watered-down version aka "I'm a bad guy until you learn about my trauma and how misunderstood I am, and magically I'm the perfect saint character to ever exist" and, yeah)

Flock ★★★

Exodus ★★★★ (we love rainy days, don't we baby?)

The Finish Line ★★ (useless, I hated it, it shouldn't exist)

Corrupt ★★★.5

Hideaway ★★★★★ (Nikova mf Banks ladies and gentlemen)

Kill Switch ★★★★.5 (Damon is a psycho by day and a poet by night, also he and Andrew are the same person in different fonts)

Conclave ★★★

Nightfall ★★★★★ (WillEmmy SERVED but BanksEmmy had so much potential, which wouldn't have gone to waste if someone *looks at Penelope Douglas* got her head out of Erika Fane's ass.)

Fire Night ★★★★

Punk 57 ★★★★

Addicted to You ★★★ (my very first comment to this was mean, like mean-mean, so I'm censuring past me and saying: I don't hate LiLo anymore, they're still nowhere near the top but we like some good character development here)

Ricochet ★★★

Heartstopper 1 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 2 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 3 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 4 ★★★★

Only a Monster ★★★★ (I literally cannot remember what happened at the end of this? Like, I remember, but I don't? Anyway I loved it and AARON MY GOODNESS you're a little Malfoy and I love this for you. I'll definitely do a reread before the sequel comes out)

House of Salt and Sorrow ★★★.5

Shadow & Bone (reread) ★★★.5

The Risk (p.s. I refused to give a rating to this because some things should just not be rated and whatever tf this series was is one of those things)

Sidetracked

Scarlet Angel

All the Lies

Paint It All Red (what in the jesus christ was that-)

Twisted Love ★★★.5

Twisted Games ★★★★

Twisted Hate ★★★★★ (JULESSSSS MF AMBROSE YES)

Twisted Lies ★★★.5 (I don't remember a single thing because I was too distracted by JulesJosh to actively read this </3 but one day I'll reread this the right way, pinky promise)

They Both Die at the End ★★★ (it's written in the goddamn title why was I surprised?)

Blade Breaker ★★★★ (Sorasa Sarn aka mommy-)

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder ★★★★

Good Girl, Bad Blood ★★★★★

As Good As Dead ★★★★.5 (mind-blowing. New fave series, new fave author, new fave everything. Don't sleep on Ravi Singh or I'll come for you)

Kingdom of the Feared ★★ (I am so not happy with you, Kerri, and I'd like to personally buy a vibrator for you because your horny inner teen should be left outside of your books, thank you very much)

The Final Gambit ★★★★★ (I was ready for the misery and this book managed to disappoint my expected disappointment? Make it make sense? Anyway Jameson might have gotten the girl but Grayson got me so a win is a win)

Every Heart A Doorway ★★★

Love on the Brain ★★★★.5

King of Wrath ★★★

If We Were Villains ★★★★.5 (De Nial is a river in Egypt, your husband is gay!)

Greywaren ★★★★ (everybody shut up I'm in my feels)

Cruel King ★★.5 (*sounds of dying*)

Deviant King ★★★.5

Steel Princess ★★★ (halfway through this one I got bored of the couple so I have little to no memory of what happened, so don't ask)

Twisted Kingdom ★★★

Black Knight ★★★★★ (Kimmy <3333)

Vicious Prince ★★★.5

Ruthless Empire ★★★★★ (SilverCole for the win I said what I said)

Royal Elite Epilogue ★★★.5 (the guys' groupchat 💀💀)

Addicted for Now ★★★.5 (it only took me 7 months!!!)

Kiss the Sky ★★★★

Hothouse Flower ★★★★

Thrive ★★★.5 (tandem reading this with the two before saved my ass because I could already see the other 7 months of nothingness)

Addicted After All ★★★.5

Fuel the Fire ★★★.5 (I was expecting a bit more from this but we can't always get what we want)

bonus: The Demon in the Wood, The Witch of Duva, The Tailor, The Too Clever Fox, Kill Joy.

Also, I am currently reading ("reading") Siege & Storm, The Atlas Six, and Long Way Down. I'll probably finish all of them in 2023 because I'm not in the mood to read anything right now *hides Wattpad and its trashy slytherin boys' fanfictions* so yeah, 77 books in a year is pretty damn good, isn't it?

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[eyecandyrevolution]

I swear I didn't have an ulterior motive when I started taking her on trips. I genuinely needed help and his wife was the only one in the office that could come with me. Everybody else... I needed them to staff the office while I was gone.

The trouble is, she's so fucking hot. And I remember being surprised when I met her that she didn't seem bashful at all. She was flirtatious right away and always wore attention-getting stuff that showed off her assets.

I was fucking her by the end of the first trip, and she told me I was the first guy she had been with since she told her husband she would stop cuckolding him.

He wasn't the typical cuck who loved to watch a stud fuck his wife with a bigger cock. He tolerated it, but he didn't enjoy it. He was humiliated by it... embarrassed that his wife needed something "more," which he apparently could not give. He could not satisfy his wife and her interest in sex with him was mild at best.

He loved his wife, though, and didn't want to lose her. So, for years she said, he had tolerated the cuck lifestyle. Now, though, she wanted to have a baby and settle down and he agreed if she would give up the other cocks. Reluctantly, she agreed.

It had only been three weeks I guess, and she hadn't told him she'd gone back to her old ways, because when his key hit the lock 3 hours early, he came in to find her face down in my lap giving me a porn starlet blowjob. Slurping and sucking and gagging and moaning.

"What the fuck is going on?" he yelled. "Caroline!"

She glanced his direction. "Oh, hi Lance," she said flatly. "Home early?" she asked, and went back to sucking my cock without waiting for an answer.

"Caroline, I thought this was over," he objected as he took two steps into the room, where he got a better look at what was happening.

"Jesus Christ, Caroline, who the fuck is this guy?" he cried as he got a glimpse of my cock and tried to avoid eye contact with me. "He... he's... he's fucking huge."

"This is Dave," she said. "Now have a seat and watch, like a good boy."

She went back to work on my big cock, sucking and slurping.

"Caroline, I... We agreed."

She came off my cock and said "Do you know how long I've been polishing this big, beautiful knob, Lance?"

He was like a deer in headlights. No idea what he'd missed.

She looked at her wrist gadget as she continued to stroke my uncommonly big tool with her free hand.

"Half an hour, Lance," she said. "Thirty whole minutes I've been pleasuring this big, beautiful cock," she said as she placed a kiss on the underside of my cockhead, "and he's still rock hard."

Lance flushed red and slowly sat down in the easy chair in the corner of the room.

"How long ago would you have shot your little load, Lance?" she asked with a giggle.

She plunged her mouth onto my cock and kept going until her throat was stuffed and her nose was pressed against my firm stomach, then withdrew and repeated it again, then again. I could feel her gullet, her tight throat, swallowing on my cock each time I invaded.

She coughed. "You probably could have withstood, maybe... Two minutes of this treatment?" she asked Lance as she continued stroking my cock, slippery with her throat goo.

I'll admit, I chuckled at that and Lance shot me a look.

"I've been giving him some of my best stuff, too, babe," she said to Lance between sucks and licks. "I've given him the feverish porn blowjob," she said as she began to demonstrate.

Her head bobbed quickly up and down on my cock as she stroked the rest of my shaft quickly back and forth in a tight fist.

She came up for air and giggled.

"I know how that porn goddess blowjob makes you shoot quickly, like the little pussy you are... right, Lance?"

Lance's hand went to his crotch and rubbed, fumbled with his zipper.

"I've given Dave the deep throat treatment, which you interrupted when you came in, and I was just about to give him my amazed size queen blowjob..."

She glided up to kiss me slowly on the lips, looked right in my eyes as she continued to stroke my cock and said, "You are so fucking big, babe," and kissed me softly again. "You have to promise to be careful," she said as she gazed into my eyes. "You could hurt me with this monster." She gave my thick shaft another 10 long strokes then throated me another dozen times.

"If I took care of your little cock with this kind of... passion... You would have shot your load in sixty seconds, Lance," she said when she came up, gasping.

He was stroking his cock in the chair.

Her hand was stroking my cock at a good pace and twisting on the head at the top of each. She didn't say anything for awhile, just kissed the head of my cock and continued to stroke, allowing the sound of her hand smacking along my lubed shaft to punctuate the room.

Her attitude changed and she took a work-like position, leaned over my lap, crouched on her knees and began to eagerly, rhythmically suck my cock, moaning with each thrust. I relaxed into her pleasure, closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander. Before I knew it, Lance blew his little wad. He made it 6 whole minutes, jerking his own dick.

Caroline barely paused to acknowledge the event and Lance went to the bathroom to cleanup. He didn't come back for 20 minutes. When he did, he saw his wife still working my cock like I paid her or something. He stopped in the doorway.

"How fucking long is it gonna take, dude?" he asked me, annoyed.

I just looked at him and smirked, stroked the side of Caroline's face as she served me.

" Does this make you feel good about yourself?" he questioned. "Using your huge... Freakishly big cock... "

"Mmmpfff, I KNOW," Caroline said as she breathed between slurps of my tool. "He is the biggest I've ever seen."

"Enough of this, Caroline... Stop going easy on him and get this over with," he demanded, and she complied. She ratcheted her effort up to 10 and furiously sucked and stroked my cock.

That went on for another 15 minutes before Caroline was completely spent and I still hadn't cum.

"Motherfucker," Lance said. "How can any husband compete with you?"

"You can't, Lance," she said as I rolled her over on her belly and entered her from behind, burying my superior monster-size cock into her incredibly tight pussy.

It took multiple orgasms, squirting g-spot orgasms, 45 minutes of "Oh My God" and "Jesus Christ" and "You're so fucking big" and Caroline orgasming again and again on my big cock before I squirted a huge thick rope of goo deep in her tight pussy.

It was over 2 hours from start to finish. We made plans to do it again, and I asked her to actually invite Lance next time because his protestations somehow made our encounter hotter.

[mandoalorian]

Pain Is For The Living [Javier Peña x F!Reader] - Chapter 3

Summary: Sex work in the heat of 1980’s Colombia was never going to be a walk in the park. Especially not when you had a crush on your number one client, agent Javier Peña. You’d been warned about him and his reputation, but after one very specific incident that would change your life forever, you find yourself attached to him like never before and you’d do anything to make him yours. Even if it means endangering your own life.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Javier being kind of an asshole, allusions to sex, a ~moment~ in the bathtub, mention of PTSD and trauma, food mention, drink mention, ...feelings?

Word count: 4200

Author’s Note: It’s been so long! I’m sorry. It’s been pretty hectic and I’ve been doing my best to wrap up my other series’ and complete requests. I appreciate you all for sticking around and asking for updates on this chapter. I’ve mentioned it a few times, but PIFTL is very difficult to write. It deals with very sensitive issues and so not only can it be mentally draining to write, it takes a lot of time to research and edit. I won’t give up on this series though. I adore this story and can’t wait to share it all with you.

Pain Is For The Living Masterlist

* Reblogs appreciated and my ko-fi is linked in my bio if you wish to support my writing!

Nina pushed off Javi quicker than a bullet leaving a gun, grabbing a blanket from her bed and wrapping it around her naked body. “What the fuck Javier?” she spat.

Jesus Christ -- Javier had never made that mistake before. Moaning someone else’s name? He was better than that. It took him a moment to just process what happened, Nina’s yelling and accusations only a blur in the background. “Who is she, Javier?” Nina questioned, her tone venomous. That was enough to snap the agent out of his thoughts. Her cold eyes burned like wildfire as she glared at him. “Who. Is. She?”

“Uh…” Javier racked his brains to try and figure out a way he’d be able to save this situation. But the longer he took to answer Nina’s question, the more infuriated she got. “Informant.”

That wasn’t exactly a lie. You’d agreed to help him. But whether or not you’d actually be able to provide Javier with any relevant information was a different ordeal in itself.

“You’re still sleeping with your informants?” Nina gasped a little, clicking her tongue and shaking her head in disappointment. “Why am I not surprised?”

Javier sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling himself off Nina’s bed and grabbing his denim jeans that had been previously discarded on the floor. “C’mon Ni, don’t get jealous now. We haven’t been together for like, a year.” Javier hummed, zipping up his pants. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to locate his shirt. Maybe there was no fixing this. For a split second, he’d forgotten why things had ended with Nina, but now it was becoming clear again. He just had to get outta there. He needed air, and a smoke. 

“I let you cum inside of me and you moan out another woman’s name!” Nina exclaimed, shaking her fists in the air. “Javier Peña I fucking hate you!”

Javier offered Nina a small shrug of his shoulders before finding his shirt and buttoning it up. “I’ll see you around Ni.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Called him seventeen times Con, he’s taking the piss.” Steve grimaced, aggressively flicking to the next page of the Bogotá local newspaper.

“Will you just calm down? He’s our friend. We’re doing him a favour. He'll be back soon,” Connie sighed, glancing back over to you, where you had been sleeping on the sofa for the past two and a half hours. “She sleeps better than our Liv,” Connie noted. “Wish we could sleep as well as that.”

Steve hummed in agreement. “I’ll go check on Liv.” He announced at the mention of his daughter. He’d put her down for a nap about an hour ago in Javier’s bedroom.

“No honey, I’ll go. You keep working on your crossword,” Connie giggled before pointing her index finger into one of the blank squares. “Fourteen down: Los huevos revueltos.” 

“I would’ve got that,” Steve huffed, scrambling to write the answer down. He definitely would not have. The Spanish puzzle was made for infants and yet he was still struggling.

“Whatever Murph.” Connie rolled her eyes, leaving the table where they were both sitting at. 

The second she left the room, you woke up in a cold sweat, feeling dizzy and shaking from a nightmare you didn’t want to remember. Your cheeks were wet, tear stained and goose pimples pricked at your arms. You checked your surroundings in a fluster, not recognising the brown leather couch you were laying on, or the oak wood coffee table in front of you, or even the television pushed against the cream coloured walls. A man with blonde hair and mustache raced over to you, and dropped to his knees, holding you by your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” The man quizzed, his blue eyes searching to meet yours. You were horrified, the feeling of an unfamiliar man grabbing you like this. You screamed in terror, and defensively dug your fingernails into his skin. The man yelped out and stumbled back from you, hitting the coffee table in the process. “Fuck-- shit-- ow--” He gasped. “Connie!” he called. “Connie, she's awake!”

The way he yelled and screamed your name... it was like you were some kind of monster. You hated it.

The sound of footsteps padding into the living room alerted you, and a woman, not much older than you, knelt down in front of you. But unlike the man, she knew well enough to keep her distance. “Hi sweetheart, are you alright? I’m Connie, don’t be afraid. You’re okay.” she assured you, her voice sweet like honey. 

“Where am I?” you choked out, tears filling your eyes. 

Connie hesitated for a moment. “She doesn’t remember where she is?” Steve asked Connie with concern, scratching the back of his neck as he pulled himself together and shuffled over to you. Taking a note out of Connie’s book, he kept his distance. Connie briefly explained to her husband how your behaviour right now actually made a lot of sense, and how victims of PTSD can often have ‘memory blanks’.

“Darling, I’m Connie Murphy. I’m a nurse. And this is my husband Steve. Steve is DEA. He’s friends with Javier Peña. You know that name, right? Javier Peña.” She repeated his name slow and steady, allowing you to take your time to process the words. Javier Peña. Just like that, a wave of calmness washed over you. His name felt like home. It felt like safety. 

“I know Javi.” you whispered in admittance, shuffling around on the sofa. You could feel your lips trembling. It was strange. You were new to Bogotá, and you didn’t really have any friends, other than the late Rosa. And well, Javier too. He was a client, sure, but he was always kind and gentle with you, unlike your other customers. You’d like to think of him as a friend. Right now, he was the only person you had. 

“This is Javier’s place. He’s going to watch over you for a little while, okay?” Connie explained. “We are your friends and we’re not going to hurt you. I promise,” the lady soothed. She turned to Steve. “Bring over Olivia.”

“What-- why?” Steve quizzed, his eyebrows furrowing together in bewilderment.

“She needs to know she can trust us. Bring over Olivia,” Begrudgingly following his wife’s instruction, a wary Steve stood up and padded into Javier’s bedroom where Olivia had been left to sleep in a small, transportable crib. He picked up his daughter and carried her into the living room. “This is my daughter Olivia,” Connie told you quietly, smoothing out Olivia’s black hair. “She’s one year old. Would you like to hold her?”

“Connie are you fucking crazy?” Steve snapped.

“I’m a fucking nurse Steve, I know what I’m doing.” Connie hissed back, taking Olivia from her father. She looked back over to you and her deep frown turned into a comforting smile as she slowly handed you the baby. Connie’s hands never left Olivia, and she made an effort to support her head as you cradled the sleeping baby in your arms.

Holding Olivia Murphy gave you a feeling of responsibility. If Steve and Connie were dangerous, they would never have shown you their daughter, let alone allow you to hold her in your arms. You contemplated everything and although it was hard, you decided that you probably could trust them. Still, it raised the question: “Where is Javi?”

Steve shook his head incredulously and stood up, grabbing the phone from one of the side tables and dialling his partner’s number again. You didn’t know what was wrong with the blonde haired agent, but you got the impression that he did not want to be here.

“Steve is going to call him, again. He went to get groceries. I’m sure he won’t be long.” Connie informed softly, and you nodded your head. 

“Your baby is adorable,” you announced quietly and Connie smiled, thankful you were beginning to talk a little more. Seemingly, you’d calmed down, which meant Connie’s comforting approach had worked.

“She’s a real gem, isn’t she?”

Javier was just a couple of blocks away when his carphone began to ring. He eyed up the display and read the ‘17 missed calls’, cursing under his breath. He clicked the accept button and continued to drive.

“Javier Peña. You prick.”

“Hi bestie.” Javier grinned, shaking his head at Steve’s introduction. Typical.

“You left us here for three fucking hours with some random girl -- who, by the way, is incredibly unstable, Javier. I don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, but I’m not here for it. Where the fuck have you been? No, forget that. You better be home in the next ten minutes and you better have the ingredients for my fucking paella.” Steve growled before angrily slamming the phone down on the hook.

Javier couldn’t help but chuckle. Steve Murphy was ever the drama queen.

As he drove down the street, he made one final attempt to shrug off what had happened with Nina. Okay, yeah, saying your name was a little uncalled for. But she always got so needy and possessive -- even when she had no reason to be. Nina and Javier weren’t exclusive and hadn’t been for a long time, so, what was her deal?

What was even more concerning to Javi, was the fact he said your name in the first place. Nina looked rather similar to you. Not identical, but from a distance, there was a chance she could’ve been mistaken. Only, when he was pounding into her from behind, he wasn’t at a distance. In fact he couldn’t have been any closer, and yet he still said your name. He was really struggling to justify it. 

Sure, he’d been thinking about you when he was inside of her. But was that really so bad? You were clearly on his mind, and Javier just pinned that down to the fact he’d been out all day investigating the crime scene at the brothel. He’d been with you, he’d held you and comforted you. Fuck, even before noon he had been fucking your mouth. It wasn’t exactly unreasonable…

But moaning out your name… shit, could Javier really get past that? Was there any way to justify that -- other than the blatant and glaring honest reason that Javier refused to admit. He wouldn’t even let his mind go there. Whatever, it was fine. He was home now. The end of a long day.

Javier grabbed the groceries from the back of his car and buzzed himself into the DEA apartment block where he and Steve were living. Making his way over to his apartment, he opened the front door and set the brown paper bag of ingredients down on the kitchen counter. When he got home, Connie was just finishing up painting your nails a beautiful sea blue gel colour. She turned around and she looked up at Javier. Your eyes, however, were already fixated on him the second he entered the room.

“Where’s Steve?” Javier asked, diverting his gaze from the two women and continuing to unpack the food. 

“He went home. He’s pissed, Javi.” Connie admitted, shaking her head in annoyance and placing the pot of nail polish on the coffee table. She walked into the open space kitchen and nudged the agent.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Javier muttered, stacking the canned goods into a cupboard.

“I’m going home, but don’t think we’ve forgotten about the paella. Steve wants that fucking paella,” Connie chastised. Javier nodded his head but remained silent as he emptied his bag of shopping. “Unbelievable.” Connie scoffed incredulously, and opened the front door before slamming it behind her.

“Thanks Con!” Javier called, but there was no telling if she even heard.

Javier was half way through putting his shopping away when he heard your meek and softly spoken voice call his name in a questioning tone. His dark eyes looked over at you. You were sitting upright on the sofa and his face softened. Stopping what he was doing, he neglected the bag of groceries and padded into the living room to sit down next to you. 

“Hi.” Javier murmured, crossing his legs and adjusting the crochet blanket that was covering your lap. 

“Hi.” you replied, feeling somewhat shy and slightly nervous, for a reason you couldn’t quite place.

“How are you feeling?” Javier asked, bringing himself to look at you.

“Um,” you fumbled at the blanket and thought for a moment. It was a loaded question. Other than the overwhelming feeling of distress and helplessness, you decided to give the agent a simple answer. “Well rested. A little thirsty.” 

Javier nodded. “How would you feel about taking a bath?”

You swallowed back a knot in your throat that you hadn’t even realised was there in the first place. “...Do I smell?” you asked, You stretched out and gave your underarms a sniff, prompting Javier to burst out into laughter. Shit, had you always been that adorable? Your nose scrunched up at the distinct smell of dried up blood on your clothes and your shoulders slumped sadly. Javi, noticing your change in demeanor, gently lifted up the blanket and wrapped it around your body.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he cooed. “Believe me, I get stinky too. It happens. Let me help you take a bath. Come with me.”

Taking his hand, Javier navigated you towards the bathroom. It was a small boxy room with barely any space to move around, and yet, to your surprise, it fit a bathtub. Javier twisted the faucet, and the tap began to run warm water. He picked up a bottle of bubble bath and a tub of salts. “I have a bad back,” Javier told you. “These salts really help me relax. And the bubbles are nice too.”

You nodded with a smile. As he emptied the contents into the tub, you watched the products swirl into a colourful abyss. “It smells like you.” you uttered, without really thinking about the weight of your words. Javier said nothing, and you both sat by the side of the tub in comfortable silence, watching as it filled up. He occasionally dipped his hand in the water, checking the temperature.

“Will you be okay?” Javier asked you, taking out a towel and folding it up on top of the toilet seat.

You weren’t really sure, but you nodded your head anyway. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up again. “Actually, Javi, could you stay?”

Javier fumbled a little but smiled. “Yeah, of course.”

Javier had seen you naked countless times due to the nature of your job but for some reason, this time, it felt different. He’d never had a woman use his bathtub before, let alone be requested to stay in her presence as she got undressed and stepped inside. You slipped out of your sultry, blood stained dress and let it pool to the floor. Javi’s mouth parted as he took in your naked form under the amber tinted bathroom lights. 

You stepped inside the tub and almost slipped over, but Javier, as quick as lightning, grabbed your arm and steadied you. “Sorry,” he muttered, and your hand slid into his. As your fingers interlocked, you felt something. It was like a bolt of electricity, running up your arm, and judging by Javier’s reaction, he could feel it too. “I should’ve warned you. It can be a little slippery.”

You giggled and tried to tear yourself from Javi’s grip, but he didn’t let go of you once. Instead,  he helped you sit down comfortably amongst the bubbles and aromatic hot water. You moaned, feeling your body become indulged and your muscles soften. You smiled and laid back, the bubbles fizzing around your neck and chin, and Javier felt his heart swell in his chest as he noticed your lips curl into a smile. It was the smile he would kill to see, and he hadn’t even realised how much he missed it.

“Just relax,” Javier soothed. “I’ll be back faster than you can count to ten.”

Javier ran into the kitchen and took a glass from one of the cupboards before racing back to the bathroom. Kneeling down by the side of the tub, he dipped the glass into the water, filling it up, and gently emptied it down your hair. 

“Close your eyes,” he requested, continuing to wet your hair ample enough until it was ready to be shampooed. Taking the bottle of his musky scented shampoo, Javier squirted the thick liquid into your scalp and began to massage it in. You couldn’t believe how gentle he was, and how he was taking his time with you. You’d never in a million years imagine Javier Peña being like this, or acting this intimate, with any woman -- especially not you. To be honest, his own behaviours were even coming to shock Javier. But he just let his instincts take over. He wanted to protect you and make sure you knew just how safe you were. That was the most important thing on his mind.

Once he rinsed your hair, he grabbed some soap and a sponge, handing them to you. “Do you uh-- uh-- do you think you can wash your own body?” He asked, his dark eyebrows knitting together. “If not, that’s okay. I can help. But--”

You smiled and rested a wet hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay Javi. I’ll be fine.” you promised, taking the sponge from him. 

“I’m going to find you some clothes to change into.” He told you. “Shout if you need me. I won’t be long.”

And he stuck by his word. Javier raked through his drawers and picked out a pale yellow button down shirt that he hadn’t worn in a few years and a pair of boxer shorts. Padding back into the bathroom, he presented you with them. “It’s not much but it’s all I have,” he told you. “I’m sure Con will take you out shopping at some point. Or we can hop on back to your place tomorrow to grab some of your stuff,” You smiled and stood up, making sure to be careful not to slip this time. Javier held out the towel for you and wrapped you in it. “I’ll leave you to get dried.”

When Javier went back into the kitchen, he figured he should put the rest of the groceries away, only to notice that the once frozen paella ingredients had become defrosted and been rendered completely useless. “Shit.” Javier cursed, pushing them to one side and running a hand through his hair. Looks like after all of this, he couldn’t make paella tonight. He knew he was about to get an earful from Steve at work tomorrow.

“Do you like pizza?” Javier called, rummaging around for a take-out menu and grabbing his phone from the counter.

“I do!” you called back, buttoning up Javier’s shirt and wrapping a towel around your head.

When you padded into the kitchen, dressed in Javi’s clothes, the agent felt his throat dry up. You were a sight to behold. You smelt distinctly like him, but you already looked one thousand times better now that you were clean and comfortable. You felt better, too. It was amazing what a bath could do to you. You shimmied onto one of the bar stools Javier kept by the counter and rest your elbows against the laminate. Javier passed you the menu so you could look over the dishes.

You agreed on a simple chilli pizza, which was one of Javier’s favourites anyway. Javi called the deli and asked for a large, planning on sharing it with you. Remembering that you’d mentioned you were thirsty, he poured you a glass of water and handed it your way.

“Steve is gonna be so mad at me tomorrow,” Javier chuckled, rubbing his temple. You peeked up from the glass that you nursed and looked up at him through your eyelashes. “I promised him paella and I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. Not only that but he’s gonna ask me where I’ve been. He’ll know I wasn’t out getting groceries for three hours.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together and tilted your head. “Three hours? Where were you?”

Javier paused and absent-mindedly brushed a finger along his mustache. “I bumped into an ex at the store. Went back to her place and-- you know.”

Your eyes fell back into your glass of water. “Oh.”

Javier picked at his short fingernails and another sigh left his lips. “Shit, I just--” he shook his head. “Made a mistake. A very big mistake.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yeah, that would probably be for the best but how could he even begin to tell you what happened, when you were part of the problem? Javier figured it might even scare you away. “It doesn’t matter… she’s just…” Javier scratched his head. “She’s fine. It’s a ‘me’ problem, I think.”

The doorbell rang and Javier was grateful for the interruption. He paid the pizza delivery guy and sent the stone bake on the table.

“It looks good,” you smiled. “I’ve never had Colombian pizza.”

Javier’s jaw dropped. “You--?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Dulzura, how long have you lived here?” 

“A month,” you grinned, with a mouthful of pizza. “Tastes good.”

After you’d finished eating, it had gotten pretty late. You and Javier exchanged small talk, learning little things about each other. You liked it a lot. He had always been an enigma to you, and even though he offered little information, it was still something, and you appreciated that a lot.

“It’s been a difficult day,” Javier noted, folding the pizza box and throwing it away to be recycled. “You should take my bed.”

“No,” you insisted. “I’m fine on the sofa. Honestly.”

Javier sighed. “I’m not going to let you sleep on the sofa any longer. You’ll get back ache.”

“Then I’ll just use your bath salts.” You smirked in retaliation. Javier laughed and you relished the way small crinkles appeared in the corner of his honey coloured eyes.

“Please, take my bed.” Javier said, staring at you pointedly. His eyebrows were raised and his strong arms were crossed over his chest.

You were about to argue further but truthfully, sleeping in a bed tonight sounded like exactly what you needed. You took a few steps closer to Javier, a pool of butterflies swirling in your stomach as you broke any distance between you both. You wanted to kiss his lips so desperately, taste him once again. It was only earlier today you’d had your lips wrapped around his cock, and yet, so much had happened in between then and now. You wondered if Javier was thinking about it too.

“Get some sleep, hermosa.”

Your eyes were completely trained on his soft pink lips. You wanted to kiss-- you just wanted to kiss him. Just one kiss. Just one-- you leaned in and shut your eyes, and neared him, closer and closer... but Javier stepped away.

And you felt your heart shatter in your chest.

“Nothing personal,” he told you. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Nothing personal? How were you meant to accept that? You had literally sucked him off just a few hours ago and now he wouldn’t even grace you with a kiss? Maybe Rosa was right; you shouldn’t form crushes on clients. Especially not Javier Peña. You’d only get hurt. You tugged on the sleeves of his button down shirt and balled your fingers into a fist, trying to ignore the pain in your chest.

Without uttering a word, not even a ‘goodnight’, you sulked away and into his bedroom.

Javier wanted to shout out. He didn’t want you to be mad at him, or even upset. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. It took him all the strength he could muster to deny you of that kiss. Your perfect lips looked so soft and delicate and if Javier could have it his way, he would’ve taken you in that very moment.

But you were more than just a sex worker now. You were a compliance in the hunt to catch Escobar -- and he had to be careful. No matter what, he couldn’t risk losing track of the bigger picture.

-—-—-—♡—-—-—-

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[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

27th April >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Thursday, Third Week of Eastertide

  or

Saint Asicus, Bishop.

Thursday, Third Week of Eastertide

(Liturgical Colour: White: A(1))

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 8:26-40 Philip baptizes a eunuch.

The angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, ‘Be ready to set out at noon along the road that goes from Jerusalem down to Gaza, the desert road.’ So he set off on his journey. Now it happened that an Ethiopian had been on pilgrimage to Jerusalem; he was a eunuch and an officer at the court of the kandake, or queen, of Ethiopia, and was in fact her chief treasurer. He was now on his way home; and as he sat in his chariot he was reading the prophet Isaiah. The Spirit said to Philip, ‘Go up and meet that chariot.’ When Philip ran up, he heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, ‘Do you understand what you are reading?’ ‘How can I’ he replied ‘unless I have someone to guide me?’ So he invited Philip to get in and sit by his side. Now the passage of scripture he was reading was this:

Like a sheep that is led to the slaughter-house, like a lamb that is dumb in front of its shearers, like these he never opens his mouth. He has been humiliated and has no one to defend him. Who will ever talk about his descendants, since his life on earth has been cut short!

The eunuch turned to Philip and said, ‘Tell me, is the prophet referring to himself or someone else?’ Starting, therefore, with this text of scripture Philip proceeded to explain the Good News of Jesus to him.

Further along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, ‘Look, there is some water here; is there anything to stop me being baptised?’ He ordered the chariot to stop, then Philip and the eunuch both went down into the water and Philip baptised him. But after they had come up out of the water again Philip was taken away by the Spirit of the Lord, and the eunuch never saw him again but went on his way rejoicing. Philip found that he had reached Azotus and continued his journey proclaiming the Good News in every town as far as Caesarea.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 65(66):8-9,16-17,20

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

O peoples, bless our God, let the voice of his praise resound, of the God who gave life to our souls and kept our feet from stumbling.

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

Come and hear, all who fear God. I will tell what he did for my soul: to him I cried aloud, with high praise ready on my tongue.

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

Blessed be God who did not reject my prayer nor withhold his love from me.

R/ Cry out with joy to God, all the earth. or R/ Alleluia!

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia, alleluia! The Lord, who hung for us upon the tree, has risen from the tomb. Alleluia!

Or: John 6:51

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the living bread which has come down from heaven, says the Lord. Anyone who eats this bread will live for ever. Alleluia!

Gospel John 6:44-51 I am the living bread which has come down from heaven.

Jesus said to the crowd:

‘No one can come to me unless he is drawn by the Father who sent me, and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets: They will all be taught by God, and to hear the teaching of the Father, and learn from it, is to come to me. Not that anybody has seen the Father, except the one who comes from God: he has seen the Father. I tell you most solemnly, everybody who believes has eternal life.

‘I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the desert and they are dead; but this is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that a man may eat it and not die. I am the living bread which has come down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will live for ever; and the bread that I shall give is my flesh, for the life of the world.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

-----------------------------------------

Saint Asicus, Bishop 

(Liturgical Colour: White: A (1))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Thursday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

Either:

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 13:46-49 Since you have rejected the word of God, we must turn to the pagans.

Paul and Barnabas spoke out boldly. ‘We had to proclaim the word of God to you first, but since you have rejected it, since you do not think yourselves worthy of eternal life, we must turn to the pagans. For this is what the Lord commanded us to do when he said:

I have made you a light for the nations, so that my salvation may reach the ends of the earth.’

It made the pagans very happy to hear this and they thanked the Lord for his message; all who were destined for eternal life became believers. Thus the word of the Lord spread through the whole countryside.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

OR: --------

First reading Acts 20:17-18,28-32,36 I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, and its power

From Miletus Paul sent for the elders of the church of Ephesus. When they arrived he addressed these words to them: ‘Be on your guard for yourselves and for all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you the overseers, to feed the Church of God which he bought with his own blood. I know quite well that when I have gone fierce wolves will invade you and will have no mercy on the flock. Even from your own ranks there will be men coming forward with a travesty of the truth on their lips to induce the disciples to follow them. So be on your guard, remembering how night and day for three years I never failed to keep you right, shedding tears over each one of you. And now I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace that has power to build you up and to give you your inheritance among all the sanctified.’ When he had finished speaking he knelt down with them all and prayed.

OR: --------

First reading Acts 26:19-23 I have stood firm to this day, testifying to great and small alike

Paul said: ‘King Agrippa, I could not disobey the heavenly vision. On the contrary I started preaching, first to the people of Damascus, then to those of Jerusalem and all the countryside of Judaea, and also to the pagans, urging them to repent and turn to God, proving their change of heart by their deeds. This was why the Jews laid hands on me in the Temple and tried to do away with me. But I was blessed with God’s help, and so I have stood firm to this day, testifying to great and small alike, saying nothing more than what the prophets and Moses himself said would happen: that the Christ was to suffer and that, as the first to rise from the dead, he was to proclaim that light now shone for our people and for the pagans too.’

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 88(89):2-5,21-22,25,27

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord; through all ages my mouth will proclaim your truth. Of this I am sure, that your love lasts for ever, that your truth is firmly established as the heavens.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have made a covenant with my chosen one; I have sworn to David my servant: I will establish your dynasty for ever and set up your throne through all ages.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have found David my servant and with my holy oil anointed him. My hand shall always be with him and my arm shall make him strong.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘My truth and my love shall be with him; by my name his might shall be exalted. He will say to me: “You are my father, my God, the rock who saves me.”’

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

Gospel Acclamation Matthew 23:9,10

Alleluia, alleluia! You have only one Father, and he is in heaven; you have only one Teacher, the Christ. Alleluia!

Or: Mt28:19,20

Alleluia, alleluia! Go, make disciples of all the nations. I am with you always; yes, to the end of time. Alleluia!

Or: Mk1:17

Alleluia, alleluia! Follow me, says the Lord, and I will make you into fishers of men. Alleluia!

Or: Lk4:18

Alleluia, alleluia! The Lord has sent me to bring the good news to the poor, to proclaim liberty to captives. Alleluia!

Or: Jn10:14

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the good shepherd, says the Lord; I know my own sheep and my own know me. Alleluia!

Or: Jn15:5

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty, says the Lord. Alleluia!

Or: 2Co5:19

Alleluia, alleluia! God in Christ was reconciling the world to himself, and he has entrusted to us the news that they are reconciled. Alleluia!

Either:

Gospel Matthew 9:35-37 The harvest is rich but the labourers are few.

Jesus made a tour through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Good News of the kingdom and curing all kinds of diseases and sickness. And when he saw the crowds he felt sorry for them because they were harassed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is rich but the labourers are few, so ask the Lord of the harvest to send labourers to his harvest.’

OR: --------

Gospel Matthew 16:13-19 You are Peter and on this rock I will build my Church

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi he put this question to his disciples, ‘Who do people say the Son of Man is?’ And they said, ‘Some say he is John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.’ ‘But you,’ he said ‘who do you say I am?’ Then Simon Peter spoke up, ‘You are the Christ,’ he said ‘the Son of the living God.’ Jesus replied, ‘Simon son of Jonah, you are a happy man! Because it was not flesh and blood that revealed this to you but my Father in heaven. So I now say to you: You are Peter and on this rock I will build my Church. And the gates of the underworld can never hold out against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven: whatever you bind on earth shall be considered bound in heaven; whatever you loose on earth shall be considered loosed in heaven.’

OR: --------

Gospel Matthew 23:8-12 The greatest among you must be your servant

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘You must not allow yourselves to be called Rabbi, since you have only one master, and you are all brothers. You must call no one on earth your father, since you have only one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor must you allow yourselves to be called teachers, for you have only one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Anyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and anyone who humbles himself will exalted.’

OR: --------

Gospel Matthew 28:16-20 Go and make disciples of all nations

The eleven disciples set out for Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had arranged to meet them. When they saw him they fell down before him, though some hesitated. Jesus came up and spoke to them. He said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go, therefore, make disciples of all the nations; baptise them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teach them to observe all the commands I gave you. And know that I am with you always; yes, to the end of time.’

OR: --------

Gospel Mark 1:14-20 I will make you into fishers of men

After John had been arrested, Jesus went into Galilee. There he proclaimed the Good News from God. ‘The time has come’ he said ‘and the kingdom of God is close at hand. Repent, and believe the Good News.’ As he was walking along by the Sea of Galilee he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net in the lake – for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me and I will make you into fishers of men.’ And at once they left their nets and followed him. Going on a little further, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John; they too were in their boat, mending their nets. He called them at once and, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the men he employed, they went after him.

OR: --------

Gospel Mark 16:15-20 Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News

Jesus showed himself to the Eleven and said to them: ‘Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News to all creation. He who believes and is baptised will be saved; he who does not believe will be condemned. These are the signs that will be associated with believers: in my name they will cast out devils; they will have the gift of tongues; they will pick up snakes in their hands, and be unharmed should they drink deadly poison; they will lay their hands on the sick, who will recover.’ And so the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven: there at the right hand of God he took his place, while they, going out, preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word by the signs that accompanied it.

OR: --------

Gospel Luke 5:1-11 They left everything and followed him

Jesus was standing one day by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the crowd pressing round him listening to the word of God, when he caught sight of two boats close to the bank. The fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats – it was Simon’s – and asked him to put out a little from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking he said to Simon, ‘Put out into deep water and pay out your nets for a catch.’ ‘Master,’ Simon replied, ‘we worked hard all night long and caught nothing, but if you say so, I will pay out the nets.’ And when they had done this they netted such a huge number of fish that their nets began to tear, so they signalled to their companions in the other boat to come and help them; when these came, they filled the two boats to sinking point. When Simon Peter saw this he fell at the knees of Jesus saying, ‘Leave me, Lord; I am a sinful man.’ For he and all his companions were completely overcome by the catch they had made; so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were Simon’s partners. But Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on it is men you will catch.’ Then, bringing their boats back to land, they left everything and followed him.

OR: --------

Gospel Luke 10:1-9 Your peace will rest on that man

The Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them out ahead of him, in pairs, to all the towns and places he himself was to visit. He said to them, ‘The harvest is rich but the labourers are few, so ask the Lord of the harvest to send labourers to his harvest. Start off now, but remember, I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Carry no purse, no haversack, no sandals. Salute no one on the road. Whatever house you go into, let your first words be, “Peace to this house!” And if a man of peace lives there, your peace will go and rest on him; if not, it will come back to you. Stay in the same house, taking what food and drink they have to offer, for the labourer deserves his wages; do not move from house to house. Whenever you go into a town where they make you welcome, eat what is set before you. Cure those in it who are sick, and say, “The kingdom of God is very near to you.”’

OR: --------

Gospel Luke 22:24-30 I confer a kingdom on you, just as the Father conferred one on me

A dispute arose between the disciples about which should be reckoned the greatest, but Jesus said to them: ‘Among pagans it is the kings who lord it over them, and those who have authority over them are given the title Benefactor. This must not happen with you. No; the greatest among you must behave as if he were the youngest, the leader as if he were the one who serves. For who is the greater: the one at table or the one who serves? The one at table, surely? Yet here am I among you as one who serves! ‘You are the men who have stood by me faithfully in my trials; and now I confer a kingdom on you, just as my Father conferred one on me: you will eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones to judge the twelve tribes of Israel.’

OR: --------

Gospel John 10:11-16 The good shepherd is one who lays down his life for his sheep

Jesus said:

‘I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd is one who lays down his life for his sheep. The hired man, since he is not the shepherd and the sheep do not belong to him, abandons the sheep and runs away as soon as he sees a wolf coming, and then the wolf attacks and scatters the sheep; this is because he is only a hired man and has no concern for the sheep.

‘I am the good shepherd; I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for my sheep. And there are other sheep I have that are not of this fold, and these I have to lead as well. They too will listen to my voice, and there will be only one flock, and one shepherd.’

OR: --------

Gospel John 15:9-17 You are my friends if you do what I command you

Jesus said to his disciples:

‘As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my own joy may be in you and your joy be complete. This is my commandment: love one another, as I have loved you. A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you. I shall not call you servants any more, because a servant does not know his master’s business; I call you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father. You did not choose me: no, I chose you; and I commissioned you to go out and to bear fruit, fruit that will last; and then the Father will give you anything you ask him in my name. What I command you is to love one another.’

Or

Gospel John 21:15-17 Feed my lambs, feed my sheep.

Jesus showed himself to his disciples, and after they had eaten he said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these others do?’ He answered, ‘Yes Lord, you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He replied, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Look after my sheep.’ Then he said to him a third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was upset that he asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and said, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[straightlikewetspaghetti]

The Voice Inside My Head

Pairings: Poppy x MC (Bea Hughes)

Warnings: angst, mature language, mental illness, self-harm, domestic violence, rejection

Word count: 1901

"Kiss me."

Bea nearly choked on hearing those words from Poppy, who had not once turned or spoken in her direction since the beginning of the film. Now illuminated by the glow of the giant projector and with a dreamy expression on her face, she could easily command her to jump into the abyss and she would do so with pleasure.

"Yes, Princess," she replied, taking her face in her hands and greedily began to kiss her lips.

Princess? How long has it been since he called you that?

Ignoring the voice in the back of her head, Poppy gave herself fully to the magic of the kiss. Her face quickly began to burn as the other girl's curious hands began a slow roaming of her body, never crossing boundaries she didn't want to. Bea had always respected her, even if calling each other names was on their daily agenda.

The windows of Bea's car began to slowly steam up as the heat between them began to turn into a pure flame of desire, and Poppy's quiet whimpers echoed through the small space of the vehicle, turning Bea on even more. The blonde made herself as comfortable as she could in her seat and slid her hands into the girl's thick hair, which was begging for it.

Bea purred approvingly as she felt Poppy gently massage her scalp as she gave herself over to the skin of her neck. With her mouth, she felt the blonde's pulse quicken, just like her own, and if it weren't for her ribcage, her heart could have easily jumped for a walk.

Harder...

Poppy's body began to grow impatient as Bea made no further move, but continued to caress every easily accessible parts of her body with care. Otherwise she would have let her do it, but the thoughts swirling in the back of her head were starting to overwhelm her.

Make her punish you. Let her do what you deserve.

The blonde tightened the hands she held in Bea's hair, only for the girl to hiss and look at her questioningly. The blood-red blushing Poppy didn't even look at her, just to the side panting heavily, though the brunette didn't really do anything to that effect.

She could feel her adoring gaze on her.

Look at her Poppy. She's so vulnerable, so susceptible to your charm and grace, she doesn't even expect what a broken person you are inside.

T-that's not true.

No? And how many times did you hurt her before you agreed to go on that date with her? How many people have you hurt to realize that somewhere in your rotten depths you can feel something warm?

"Stop it," Poppy whispered unknowingly, but Bea, absorbed in trying to show how much she adored her, didn't even hear it.

You will hurt her. You WILL destroy her.

No, no, stop...

Just like you destroyed your family.

"Stop it! Just stop!" Poppy's body shuddered, tears hiding behind her eyelids that shouldn't have been there. Bea jumped away from her like she was on fire, pure terror mixed with shock on her face. She had no idea what had happened, but Poppy herself looked like someone who didn't know what was going on either.

"Jesus Christ Pops, I'm sorry!" Bea nervously began to adjust Poppy's clothing handling her like an egg so that the blonde wouldn't take it as any attempt to continue their little game. The brunette fingers trembled as she tried to fasten the buttons of her blouse.

Can't you see it? She hasn't even done anything wrong, yet she's the one apologizing to you because YOU are emotionally unstable. She is perfect, too perfect for someone as damaged as you. It's not her who doesn't deserve you Queen Bee, it's you who doesn't deserve her.

"Would you just shut up!"

Poppy was already almost panting from the strange fury bubbling up inside her that she could no longer contain within herself. Her scream was so loud that several people in the cars next to her turned toward them and began watching with interest. The blonde didn't even pay attention, her gaze still fixed on the brunette, whose face was full of so many mixed feelings that it was hard to determine what was really in her head.

The blonde sighed, letting half of the unnecessary rage float away and began to see more soberly with her eyes. What she began to notice was not at all to her liking, the pain she saw on the other's face was far more unbearable than the voice sitting in her head.

"Bea I..."

"It doesn't matter," escaped the brunette briefly. Turning around in her seat, she turned the key in the ignition as if nothing ever happened. "I'll take you home."

Poppy dug her long nails into her hand.

She always did this when she was mad at herself. However, now she was quickly losing control. Her brow furrowed as she stared blankly at the road in front of them, and her grip tightened, her nails slowly beginning to cut through her skin. Her breathing became labored, she knew another panic attack was coming. She clenched her jaw, feeling her body begin to tremble.

When she opened her eyes again, she no longer saw the road, but that cursed corridor from which it all began. Whenever she walked along it, it somehow magically got longer, only painfully delaying what was at the end. Instinctively, she looked to the side, towards the wall on which the pictures were hanging, and again she felt as if she were that little helpless girl from many years ago.

"Mommy?" her frightened voice echoed down the hallway as she again heard the thunder coming from outside, where a powerful storm was raging. Clutching her beloved teddy bear more tightly in her hands, she hurried toward the ajar door, from which raised voices began to ring out.

Before she could get there, her dad came out of the room looking shaken. He walked slowly to his daughter and squatted down, ruffling her hair. Poppy, however, did not return the smile when she saw tears in her dad's eyes.

"Remember I will always love you my little princess," were the last words she heard from him that day, the next and many more to come, because as he rose from his knees and grabbed the handle of the front door, his silhouette dissolved into a heavy wall of rain disappearing from her life once and for all.

Shortly after he disappeared, her drunken mother darted out of the room and ran towards the front door on wobbly legs. Instead of opening it, she simply banged on it violently and began sobbing, even louder than the raging thunder. "Art you coward!" her mother screamed towards the door, hitting it with an open fist every now and then. Poppy didn't even have to get close to her to smell the stench of strong alcohol. "You fucking coward..."

"M-mommy?" she said horrified at the state her mother was in. She immediately regretted it when her mother's glowing fury gaze fell on her and she started walking towards her. Poppy hugged her teddy bear tightly, trying to draw any comfort from it, and closed her eyes.

It didn't take Ana long to reach her daughter. She grabbed her firmly by the arm and began shrugging, out of control of her emotions. "This is all your fault," her screams were more terrible than the storm outside, her breath nearly parching Poppy's nostrils, who instinctively turned away from her mother. "You destroyed this family."

You were still so young, you couldn't understand that it was never your fault.

She drew in air heavily as she felt Bea's hand slip into her own, loosening it. It felt like ages had passed, but in fact her mind had locked her into the past for only a few minutes. With a scowl, she looked towards the brunette, who thankfully had her eyes on the road the whole time, her thumb gently caressing the skin of her palm.

The rest of the journey passed in pleasant silence, if that' s the way to put it. Poppy leaned against the window, mindlessly watching the trees fly by, and Bea kept a hand on her palm whenever she could, non-invasively trying to reassure her. In no time, Poppy was sitting on the couch at Bea's house, who had left her alone with herself for a while.

The blonde looked around the room, a little uneasy as she'd been here a few times before but had never paid attention to the scenery. She usually didn't have time for that when all she was thinking about was how much she wanted the brunette's touch on her.

"-- Sinclair is out, there is no option for her to stay here tonight."

A familiar voice reached her ears. She wasn't surprised that Zoey wasn't happy about her presence. The very fact that she had let her on her property was quite a surprise to her. She rose from the couch and wandered into the room where the two girls were discussing.

"Excuse me Bea, but Chlo called, there's some sort of accident at the sorority house and I need to get back. Thanks for today."

Lying is your second nature, but doing it in good faith? Impressive...

"I never expected to live the day when I'd hear a thank you from Sinclair," Zoey muttered, and despite her hostility, a spark of respect flashed in her eyes. "However, that doesn't change the fact that you're not welcome here, and I won't hide that," the girl crossed her arms over her chest looking down on Poppy.

"Sure, fine, I understand," she didn't have the strength to argue, besides deep down she knew the girl was right about that. "I'll go now."

"I can give you a ride!" Bea jumped in front of her briskly like a Golden Retriever pup, earning only a snort from Zoey, but Poppy just shook her head with a weak smile.

Before she left she rose on her tiptoes and placed one of the softest kisses of her life on Bea's cheek. Her lips stayed there for a moment longer than they should have, but Zoey's exaggerated grunt brought her back to gray reality. She left the building without looking back.

The night was chilly, so with every gust of wind Poppy covered herself tighter with the jacket Bea had wrapped her in when she wasn't even paying attention. Walking alone along the trees, she had the feeling that something was watching her and was about to jump out of the bushes at her in any moment. She quickened her step when she heard a rustle coming from around the corner.

She almost screamed when, to her terror, an actually tall figure emerged from the darkness. she cursed herself and Chlo in her mind for every horror she had made her watch. To her surprise, however, horror turned to confusion.

"Hello my little princess."

That voice...

"D-dad?"

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

🔪: THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN AN ATTEMPTED SUICIDE SCENE PLEASE BE ADVISED IF YOU CHOOSE TO NOT READ THEN SKIP THE ITALICS AND START READING AGAIN WITH THE REGULAR FONT

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter Ten

“Don’t worry I will save the princess and the queen!” Rini yelled with a paper towel sword. “Rawr!!!” Rin sat on his knees and flared his arms. “Oh no save us!” Akira yelled and you both stayed huddled on the couch. “I’m going to eat the princess and the queen.” Rin growled and attack Rini. Rini fell on his back and Rin began tickling his son.

Rini immediately began laughing and thrashing around under his dad and you were trying to tell them to be careful so Rini wouldn’t pee on himself. “See mom, boys are useless.” Akira muttered and stood up on the couch. Before you can scold her she hopped on Rin’s back and began pulling his hair. “Bad dragon don’t tickle the knight!” She huffed and began smack. “Oww, what the fuck—“ Rin hissed and gripped Akiras shoulders. He flipped her and made her land on her back (gently) and began tickling her as well.

Akira’s laugh filled the living room and Rini was trying to catch his breath. “Mom save us!” Akira yelled. “Jesus Christ.” You sighed and did exactly what Akira did. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your chest rubbed his back. He froze and Akira caught her breath. She lifted her legs and with her feet pushed him back and Rin lost his balance. You fell back and Rin landed right on top of you. “Ow..” you mumbled and rubbed your head. “I’m sorry.” Rin groaned and turned, his face rested right between your breasts. He slowly lifted himself and he looked at your chest. He looked up at your face and saw the embarrassment. “Holy shit I’m sorry!” He said and immediately pulled away.

“It’s okay. Sorry for landing on your back.” You muttered and he held out his hand, you grabbed it and he pulled you up. “Mommy and daddy sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Your kids sang and you scowled. “Come on, time for bed.” You immediately said and they began to whine. “No cuz then daddy’s gonna leave.” Akira whined. “No arguing. It’s late and momma and I need to have a talk.” He said and carried them both.

He walked them to their room and began tucking them in. They kept protesting that they didn’t want him to leave but he said that he had to and it was final. He was going to come back and see them anyways.

A crying fest began and it took almost an hour for them to calm down and eventually they knocked out due to exhaustion. Finally you and Rin sighed and closed the door to their room. “I can’t believe you did that for five years already.” Rin said and rubbed his shoulder. “I need to see a chiropractor.” You muttered, “me too.” He replied. You made your way to the kitchen and took out a wine cooler, “want one?” You asked, he nodded and you tossed it and he caught it.

“I’m gonna need like four of these.” You said and Rin snorted. “You bet.” He sighed and you both got comfortable on the couch. “Where do i start?” Rin hummed. “Post breakup...?” You suggested and he nodded. “Once upon a time—“ he started and you nudged him with your foot. “I’m your ex not your kid.” You said and he chuckled.

“Alright. So it started when—“

“Sweetie please talk to us..” Rintarou’s mother knocked on her sons door. “I’m fine.” Rin spat out. “Just leave me alone.” He said as he held the pig plush in his arms. “Rintarou I’m worried. Please.” His mother begged. “What do you want me to say?!” He raised his voice causing his mother’s eyes to widened.

He’s never ever raised his voice at her. “The girl that I love left me. How am I supposed to feel?! I don’t have anyone anymore!” He cried. “Sweetie she’s your first love, of course it’ll hurt but—“ “She’s my only love! Don’t you get it! I don’t want to be with anyone but her. She was my rock, she was there when nobody else was. She supported me and inspired me to be better and now she’s gone.” He sobbed and squeeze the pig plush. 

He saw the photo of you and him smiling by his bed and his chest tightened. “You fucking idiot!” He yelled at himself. He threw the plush and grabbed his wallet from his desk. He opened the door and his mom was standing there looking at her son in shock.

“Rintarou—you’re out. Are you hungr—“ “I’ll be back in a few days.” He told her. “Wait what? Why—Rintarou I know you’re heartbroken but you’ll find someone who will truly love you and appreciate—“ “Don’t you get it you old hag?! She loved me and appreciated me! But I ruined it! I ruined everything!” He neared his mom causing her to take a step back.

His eyes widened and he saw the fear in his own mother’s eyes. “Mom I—“

Slap

“I’m sick and tired of you being stupid! She’s gone. She doesn’t want you. Just move on. It won’t be easy but you’ll get over her eventually.” She told her son and he wiped his face with his sleeve. “I’m going to Miyagi and I’m going to find her.” He had decided, “With what money Rintarou? That’s a day long trip.” His mother asked.

He looked at her and she shook her head, “I’m not giving you money to see your little ex girlfriend just for you to come back even more depressed.” She told him and he rolled his eyes and slammed his bedroom door.

His mother sighed.

That night she got into a fight with her husband. “Rintarou is severely depressed and he’s having mood swings over some girl!” She hissed and his dad sighed. “My love, he’ll get over her eventually. He just needs his space—“ Rintarou’s parents were both interrupted by banging on their front door. They looked at eachother confused and his dad went to answer.

When he opened the door he was met with the gray haired twin. “Osamu hi..what brings you here—“ “Where is Rin?” He immediately asked and pushed through them. “What do you mean, he’s in his room.” Rin’s father said. “Excuse me.” Osamu quickly panted as he ran up the stairs. It was incredible disrespectful to barge in unannounced and without taking off your shoes but he wanted to make sure that his best friend was okay.

He found Rin’s door and tried the door knob. “Leave me alone!” Rin’s voice cracked as he tried to open the new pain meds his mother bought. “Rin listen to me, open the door. Please.” Osamu begged. “Osamu whats the meaning of this?” Rin’s father automatically asked. “Rin open the door.” Osamu repeated. Everyone else was muted from his mind his watery eyes and shaking hand made it hard for him to open the pill bottle.

He didn’t answer and Osamu’s heart stopped. He took a few steps back, then rammed his shoulder in the door. Rin flinched and turned to see his door slightly cracked. Osamu winced at the pain and he stepped back once more instead of his shoulder he lifted his leg to kick and he tried breaking it once more.

“Fuck Fuck Fuck.” Suna muttered as he kept his struggle. Finally the pill bottle cap unscrewed and his eyes widened. He held the pills in his palm and he put his head back to swallow. Even if he chokes trying to swallow the dry pills it doesn’t matter. He grabbed his water bottle, the one you put stickers all over and he drank as much as his throat could take.

It hurt swallowing down those pills, his throat burned and it felt like he was being cut from the inside. From the corner of his eye the door bursted open and came in Osamu with Suna’s poor weeping mother being held by her husband, his father. “Are you a fucking idiot?!” The gray haired twin screamed and immediately pulled Suna to his side. “Call 119 NOW!” Osamu yelled. “Leave me alone Samu—“ “Like hell I will! What would Y/N think if she find out you did this?!” He yelled. Tears filled his eyes and he could barley see his best friend. Rin stayed quiet and his gaze shifted passed Osamu’s shoulder.

“Y/N...what are you doing here?” Suna whispered and Osamu saw Suna’s eyes next to him. “What do you mean I’m stupid? I just feel so lonely... I said I was sorry. But you didn’t want to listen.” Suna began to cry once more and Osamu hugged him. “It’s gonna be okay. Please stay with me Rin.”

“Oh my god.” You cried, “I’m so sorry.” You apologized. “Hey hey it’s okay. I’m fine now.” Suna smiled softly and held you in his arms. “You could have been dead because of me.” You smacked his chest. Even in tears You looked so beautiful.

“In all honesty it was my fault to begin with. I shouldn’t have played with your heart. And when you left, it broke my heart. And I desperately wanted to get it back. I guess it showed how much I loved you.”

“How much I still love you.” He said softly.

“Rin you’re insane.” You wiped your eyes. “And what happened after?” You asked. “Well I had a dream about you and you seemed disappointed in the actions and state I was in. So I decided to try to be better than I was before. So that eventually you can take me back. I don’t know if you noticed but I’m a bit more social.” He joked and your heart swelled.

“In all honesty you were my motivation out of my depression. Sometimes I still get episodes and it sucks but I’ve been fine for a while now.” He admitted. “So you literally did a 180 just for..me?” You hiccuped. “Yeah. I love you. Always have and always will.” He looked into your eyes hopefully.

“Do you want to move in?” You asked and his eyes widened. “You want me to move in?” He asked. “Well how else are we gonna raise two kids? Our schedules are always changing. It makes sense to just live together.” You said and he nodded.

“Does that mean we can like share a room and cuddle like last night?”

“No.”

🔪: I know this was a lot but I wanted it to end a little positively

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @tpwkatsumu @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

[lav-and-roses]

Mother Mary

While I’m still gathering some research for quarter days and the Wheel Of the Year and how to reinterpet it into being Christopagan friendly, let’s talk about The Queen of Heaven and Holy Mother of God Herself, Mother Mary! (More under the cut!)

Mary was a surprisingly hard spirit to commune with when I first started(a week ago). This was mostly because I was so stubborn in my belief that God had to be one male being, that I completely missed the signs She was giving me. When I was reading bible verses during my time with Lady Sophia, I kept on going back to verses that mention Mary and God’s feminine and maternal side. I also kept on feeling a warm presence that would reassure me that everything would be alright. I kept on hearing songs in the wind encouraging me to keep on going whenever I felt low energy on my walks to my bus stop and hear a feminine whisper me a good night after I finish my nightly prayer to God. Even my research kept leading me back to Marian devotions and Mariology.  

Mother Mary embodies God’s role as the one who gives birth to the world, who creates, who gives birth to each and every living being in the world and looks over them, nurtures them, fosters them, cares for them, loves them. She is the Divine Mother who ascended into her place as Virgin Mother Of All through her miraculous conception of Jesus Christ and later being assumed (taken bodily) into Heaven. She is the mother that I can lean on and trust in before even my own parents and I love her for it. 

[illfoandillfie]

Out of Context

Request: First of all, congratulations on 1,000!!!! Could you do a a sequel to Interloper where maybe an interviewer is giving her shit for having once been a groupie and Bri Rog and Deaky defend her and have amazing sex after at like their hotel 😂-foursome anon (I’m back)

Interloper / Snapshots From Before (Prequel)

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Brian May x John Deacon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+), gangbang/foursome, oral sex (m and f receiving), anal sex, tit fucking, light choking, slightly dom reader, cheer up sex, some spanking, double and triple penetration

Words: 6,145

A/N: This was another request from back at my 1000 follower celebration last year. It’s been sitting half written in my drafts since then and I finally felt inspired to finish it lmao. Foursome anon I hope you’re still around and you see this!!

Blurb Advent: Day 10

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Doing press wasn’t easy, especially when interviewers insisted on questioning you all separately. You preferred having at least one of the boys to back you up. They’d been dealing with the whole interview process for so long now they knew how to avoid answering things they didn’t want to, knew how to deal with rude reporters. But it was all new to you. Perhaps that was why this particular interview had gone so badly. There was no Freddie to make the right snide comment, no Roger to get pissed off on your behalf, no Brian or John to squeeze your knee comfortingly or take over when you go tongue tied.

Things between you and the rest of the band had been going much better since Freddie had locked you in that room together. It didn’t happen overnight, there were still lingering tensions. But any badmouthing they did of you was out of your hearing which you much preferred. Gradually, as the tour wore on, there were less tensions. They got used to having you around, began including you in their games of scrabble and their not-quite-awake conversations over hotel breakfasts. Until one day, in the final leg of the tour, when Freddie admitted to you quietly that he hadn’t overheard any whispered comments for nearly a week. “And here I was thinking we’d never get there.” “Oh hush, darling, I told you from the beginning they wouldn’t hate you forever. Sure they took a little longer to come around than I had anticipated but it all worked out in the end. And now when you tell them the execs have asked for another full album featuring you, they probably won’t kill you.” They hadn’t, of course, though you’d worried for the safety of everyone involved in making the decision. Roger looked as if he were a second away from punching the first person to talk to him.

They took less time to calm down though, especially after they saw how nervous you got before the first interview. Your agent had decided some preliminary press would help build excitement for the album before the songs were even written. Calls were made, journalists were found, and before you knew it you were facing a crowd of people vying to ask you their questions, cameras flashing the whole time. It was a lot. More than pushing you into the deep end, you’d be thrown to the bloody sharks. Any lingering ill will the boys had for you vanished after that. They’d all thankfully been there too, had drawn the attention to themselves rather than let you struggle to answer everything on your own. After that they’d kept an eye on you during the smaller interviews. Mostly the reporters were happy to talk to you all together and, as long as you said one or two things about how excited you were to be working with Queen again, and how much fun touring with them was, you could get away with letting them take lead. But every now and then you got stuck with some jackass who wanted to quiz you solo. And this interview, this horrid interview, had been one of them.

Roger pushed the magazine away from himself, letting it slide as far down your kitchen table as it would go. “She’s a fucking bitch that reporter.” You looked down at the magazine, still open to your interview, the headline alone making your stomach turn. “No, sorry, that’s an insult to dogs. She’s a fucking cunt.” “Rog,” “No, that’s an insult to vaginas. There is no word strong enough for that poor excuse for a journalist.” “Roger, sit down.” Roger shot Freddie a dirty look but sat down anyway, his knee bouncing with restless energy, “Sorry. I’m just pissed off.” “Yes, we gathered that, thanks Rog,” “She took everything I said out of context, you have to believe me.” “We do, Y/N, we do,” John said softly from beside you, rubbing circles on your back. “It started well, I swear. Just the usual questions y’know, what’s it like working with Queen? How does it feel to be singing next to Freddie Mercury? Were you nervous about touring with them? Can you give us any hints about the new album? All the things that usually come up that Freddie coached me on how to answer, and I was doing fine. I had my prepared answers and there was no stumbling over words or anything like that. I thought I’d finally got the hang of it all and then she asked me to elaborate on what it was like working with you. I’d already told her the usual thing – it was fun and y’know blew my mind and all that. But then she asked how it compare to being your groupie.” “You didn’t answer her did you?” “Christ no, Brian! Jesus what do you take me for?” Brian held his hands up in apology. “I told her that it wasn’t relevant, but she kept asking, one question after another thrown at me and no matter what I said she didn’t stop. All sorts of stuff, like which of you was the best shag, and if I’d only wanted to be your groupie because I hoped it would lead to my own album, and if I was still offering my services,” you made air quotes around the words, “accused me of using you for my own gain and asked if you were the first band I’d tried it with or if you were just the only ones gullible enough to let me. I tried to tell her no and that I wasn’t going to answer those questions but she just kept going and then she told me to get used to the attention and left. I guess she didn’t need my answers to write a whole article about it.” “Which of us is the best shag?” Brian repeated the question though you suspected he wasn’t just checking he’d heard you correctly. The others all fell quiet, waiting to see if you’d answer. “Really Bri? That’s what you got from that?” “Right, right, sorry, not the important part. Look, it’s not as bad as you think it is.” “Bri’s right, love,” Roger said, much calmer than he had been before, “there’s nothing of substance in here. Like this quote, as for the fun Ms Y/L/N mentioned was had on tour, one can’t help but wonder just what she meant. Could the stories about nights spent playing boardgames be covers for debauched, drug-fuelled, orgies the likes of which would make a pornstar blush, I mean, there’s nothing there. It’s all conjecture and anyone worth a damn will see right through it.” “But some people will believe it,” “Maybe, yes,” Freddie said, “but it’ll blow over. We’ve all been in the same place you are at one time or another. If anything this officially makes you one of the band.” “Yeah, Y/N, it’s all just spiteful rubbish.” “Thanks guys, but I think I might just call it a day, go back to bed. Stay if you want, I don’t mind. But if you leave lock the door behind you.” You stood and headed to your bedroom.

The four boys stayed quiet until you were out of your room but you heard their hushed voices and hissed comments through your bedroom door as you pulled off your jeans and unclasped your bra from under the baggy jumper you wore. It took about five minutes before there was a soft knock on your bedroom door. “Y/N, can I come in?” You contemplated feigning sleep. “I know you’re not asleep.” You sighed and sat up, hugging your knees to your chest, “Fine, Roger, come in.” “Freddie’s gone to make some calls,” he said, standing just inside your doorway, hands in his pockets. “Calls about what? It’s out there now, there’s no getting it back.” “No but we need to make it clear to other journalists that those kinds of questions won’t be answered in any future interviews, and hopefully we can make sure that parasite never gets to come anywhere near us again.” “Isn’t that mean to parasites?” Roger chuckled, “getting over it already, see,” he sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on your covered knee, “I know this sucks, and I get that you’re ashamed, but I promise it’s not as bad as it feels right now.” “I’m not ashamed.” “What?” “You said I’m ashamed of it but I’m not.” “Oh. I thought-” “I’m a bit embarrassed because obviously I’ve never told my family what it is I got up to when I went to all those concerts and now they’re all going to know, lord knows some of them will believe the worst of it. And I’m pissed off that I didn’t stand up for myself more. I just let her keep cutting me off and talking over me when I should have told her to fuck off or at least called her out for being a prudish arsehole who probably only attacked me because she’s jealous I’ve fucked three quarters of Queen. And I’m annoyed that you’ve all been brought up in the article, and she’s questioning whether your good people just because you sept with me. I mean does she expect you all to be virginal saints or something? It’s just frustrating and yes, upsetting. But I’m definitely not ashamed.” “Huh, okay then.” “What?” “Nothing, just, we assumed you regretted sleeping with us.” “Lord no. It wasn’t planned, like she was insinuating, but seeping with you definitely helped me get my foot in the door with this whole music thing. And even if it hadn’t done that, it was still fun as hell and made me feel good. If I wasn’t fucking you I would have been out having mediocre sex with guys I met in pubs and I don’t care how much of a slut it makes me seem, but I’d rather fuck a whole band every single night and actually get off than have a disappointing drunk lay with a guy who’s never heard of the clitoris. Fuck, I’d still be doing the whole groupie thing now, and be perfectly happy with it, if Freddie hadn’t heard me singing that day. That night at the after party, that was heaps of fun.” “Give me a second would you,” Roger stood and walked to the door, giving you another glance before he turned the corner. You watched the doorway, not quite sure what to make of his behaviour but your questions were answered soon enough when he reappeared with Brian and John following. “So apparently we misread the situation,” Brian said, taking the seat Roger had just vacated. John sat cross legged at the end of your bed while Roger flopped onto the mattress beside you. “I can’t believe you’d think I regretted being your groupie. Have you met me?” “In our defence you seemed very upset, what were we meant to think?” “I had a shitty interview and got called a whore in a very public way, of course I’m upset. Doesn’t mean I regret anything.” “Yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, we should have realised. But we have a proposition for you. We actually thought of a way to cheer you up when we first saw the magazine this morning but then when we got here you seemed so sad and we didn’t want to make you more upset or uncomfortable,” “What Brian is trying to say is that we have an idea we think you might like.” “Jesus will you two stop beating around the bush?” “Shut up Rog, I’m getting there.” “Y/N,” Roger said cutting off the others before they could waffle any longer, “Would you like to fuck us again?” You almost choked. “Zero tact. What he means is, we thought we could cheer you up. All three of us, entirely focused on making you forget that magazine.” “Wait, I’m confused,” you massaged the bridge of your nose as you tried to catch up to them, “you saw an article that called me a whore and thought it would cheer me up to, what, be your shared fucktoy again? Yeah it was fun but-” “No, no, no, that’s not what we mean,” John said, “you’d be in control of how it all happens. It wouldn’t be like last time.” “So, you’d be my whores?” “I guess?” “The point is,” Roger chimed in, “we want to make you feel better. If that means making you cups of tea and buying you a box of chocolates that’s fine. But it could also mean you having three cocks and all the orgasms you can handle.” You looked from Roger to John to Brian and then back again, trying to work out if they were joking or not. But they all seemed sincere enough for you to actually think about their proposition. It wasn’t what you were expecting to hear from them, and it hadn’t crossed your mind until they mentioned it. But now that they had, you had to admit it sounded fun. Last time had been fun and that was when you’d been passed around and used mercilessly, so having them all again, but with a bit more say in how it happened, could only be better. Plus, part of you wanted to prove how unashamed of your groupie history you were and what better way than this? “Okay, I’m in.”

“Do we need to set any ground rules?” Brian asked. “You all know my safeword,” “Saxophone,” You laughed at the chorus of eager voices, “Yes, exactly. Other than that I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Not like this is new exactly, is it?” “Well, no, I s’pose not.” “Exactly. And if there’s anything I don’t want I’ll tell you. So you’re,” you pointed at Roger, “going to kiss me now, while you two undress,” “Getting right to it, excellent,” Roger laughed, as he pushed himself closer to you. He didn’t waste any time, leaning in to kiss you right away. It started off a little too soft for your liking but as soon as soon as you made it clear how into it you were, kissing him back harder and pressing yourself closer, Roger reciprocated. His hands wandered down to your chest as you felt Brian and John get up, following your orders, their clothes left where they landed on the floor. Roger’s hands were soon replaced by Brian’s as he knelt behind you, and you found your head being pulled around so he could kiss you too. Roger took the opportunity to undress as Brian and John caught you between them. You couldn’t tell who was removing your clothes, only that once your jumper had been pulled over your head John was kissing you. He leaned back, tugging you along so Brian could pull your underwear off, his hands caressing your bare bum. “How do you want us?” John asked, brushing your hair back behind your ear. “Um,” you looked around at the three very naked bandmates waiting for your word, “One of you is going to eat me out. Don’t care who but I am going to cum.” “Yes Ma’am,” John laughed, lazily saluting you before rolling you onto your back and shuffling down between your thighs. You were taken by surprise when you felt his tongue run between your lips, expecting nips on your thighs and the teasing puff of his breath as he hovered just out of your reach. But he was clearly taking the job of cheering you up seriously. Brian and Roger weren’t any different, settling into the spaces on either side of you, their light touches only enhancing the feeling John had set off. You felt their fingertips on your breasts and in the ends of your hair, tugging just enough to send a shiver down your spine but not enough to make you gasp in pain. “So what would you like from us, love? What dirty little fantasies are going through your head right now?” Roger tapped his finger on the middle of your forehead. You opened your mouth but a small oh as John latched onto your clit replaced the words you’d been intending to say. “Think we’re going to need a little more than that, Y/N. C’mon, tell us what you want. Do you want us to just take turns fucking you, filling you up over and over and over.” “Or are you thinking more along the lines of last time? Taking two at a time because one cock isn’t quite enough for you now?” “Try three,” you managed to get out as you slid a hand into John’s hair to hold him in place, “want you all at once.” “Jesus,” Brian swore, dropping his lips to your neck. “I’ve been a piss-poor groupie considering the stories that reporter’s peddling. Everyone’s going to think I’ve been taking all three of you at once constantly, but we’ve never actually done that, have we? Might as well embrace my slut title and change that,” “Let us work up to it, Love” Roger said softly, recapturing your lips as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You whined, partly from Roger and Brian’s attention and partly because John raised his head, your hips rising slightly at the loss. “Guess I should start stretching you out then,” he said offhandedly as he licked his fingers, the same way you’d seen him do a hundred times before while playing. You couldn’t stop the moan that rose up in your throat, the sound only making John chuckle against you as he lowered his head and resumed his focus on your clit.

It only took a few more minutes to have you swearing through your first orgasm. The two fingers John had inside you enough to send you over the edge as they brushed against every sensitive spot they could reach. Your neck tingled where Brian had marked it and your nipples were stiff peaks, extra sensitive to cool air after he and Roger had delighted in torturing them with teeth and tongue and fingertips. “How was that?” John asked, slowly withdrawing his fingers when he was satisfied you’d finished. “Fuck,” was all you could say, the three boys laughing, John dropping a kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Think you can handle more?” “Actually Bri I think I might be done,” “Oh. Really?” “I’m kidding.” “Thank Christ. I’m so fucking hard there’s no way I could get my pants back on anyway.” You laughed and pushed yourself to sit up, “Poor thing. I suppose you can use my cunt for a bit.” “Classic guitarists always getting first go,” “Shut it drum boy, I was about to offer to blow you but if you’re going to be like that,” “No, no, I didn’t say anything.” “He did Y/N, I heard him, blow me instead,” “Ignore Deaks, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” “Like a couple of – oh!” you were cut off as Brian grabbed you round the middle and wrenched you onto your hands and knees, “children. A little warning next time please,” “Sorry,” Brian leaned forward to kiss your back as his fingers trailed up the inside of your thigh, “but if I didn’t move this along we’d be stuck arguing about who gets to blow who forever.” “N-no we wouldn’t,” you stumbled over your words as Brian’s long, talented fingers pressed into you, “I made up my mind, Rog in my throat.” “What about me?” “Don’t worry Deaks, you’ll get your turn. If you want you can spank me though, or bite me or pull my hair or whatever else you can think of. You know my limits. Also we’ll need lube so if you want to go digging through my bathroom draws and find some you can. Might be a reward in it if you do.” “Spankher, please,” Brian nearly whined, “always makes her cunt so tight.” “Think I’d rather claim that reward thanks” “Alright then I’ll spank her,” “Guys! Can you stop arguing. I have holes enough for all of you, that’s kind of the point of this. And, Brian and Roger, if I don’t get both of your cocks deep, deep inside me within the next thirty seconds I will kick you both out and let John have his way with me on repeat.” A moment of silence accompanied your statement. You saw Roger, eyes wide, look over at John and then to Brian, and could only assume they were returning his dumbfounded look. “Twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven,” Roger blinked as if waking from a daydream and hurried to kneel in front of you, one hand gliding over the length of his cock as the other reached for your hair. Your mouth fell open in a gasp as Brian suddenly filled you, holding your hips tight as he bottomed out, which gave Roger enough opportunity to push himself towards the back of your throat. There was a shift in the mattress as John got up but you were a little too preoccupied to hear the door open and shut or the sound of him rummaging through your bathroom. You only realised he’d returned when a sudden, loud spank hit you and you knew Brian’s hands were still occupied with your hips. For their parts, Roger and Brian were keeping you busy, skewered between them, not sure whether the noises coming from your own throat were moans or gags or wordless begging. Brian breathlessly laughed as John spanked you again, “So fucking tight. Bit harder?” “Y/N?” You made an assenting humming noise and nodded as much as Roger’s cock would allow which John rightly took as permission and so hit you again, harder than the last.

It was an intoxicating feeling, taking two cocks at once, all the while wanting more and knowing you’d have it before long. Brian fucked you hard and precise, as if his goal was to split you open from the inside out. Had it just been him and you alone you would have found yourself creeping further up the bed. It had happened a few times before, leaving you either hanging off the edge of the bed, or with your hands over your head and pressed against a wall in an effort to keep from banging your head. But all he managed to do was push you further onto Roger’s cock, making you gag and choke more often. Roger didn’t seem to mind that though, giving as good as Brian, firmly gripping your hair so that you couldn’t even attempt to move off him. The added impact from John’s hand just made you shiver and moan. He was the one who sensed you were getting close though, reaching under you to rub your clit and give you the extra push you needed to get over the edge. Brian wasn’t too far behind you, groaning as he tried to keep fucking you, his hips faltering as he twitched inside you and spilled his seed. You felt his hands on your backside as he spread your cheeks, leaning down to spit on your arsehole before he pulled out of you. Once Brian was finished with you, you tapped Roger’s thigh and he pulled back. “You okay?” he asked, stroking your cheek with a knuckle. “Brilliant, just thought that since I can move a bit easier, I’d take over. You look like you were close.” “Fucking yes I was close,” You giggled as you readjusted your position to be more comfortable, once again taking Roger’s cock between your lips. This time you pushed yourself lower, taking him deeper, making Roger swear above you. You pulled back again, hollowing your cheeks until you sank down once more. A strangled moan seemed to catch in Roger’s throat and it spurred you on. You reached out to cups his balls, massaging them in your hand as you took him as deep as you could and hummed. The hum turned into something akin to a squeal (though slightly muffled and choked off at the end) as the sticky cool of John’s lube covered finger teased your arsehole, tracing circles around it before slowly sinking into you. The sight seemed to be enough to finish Roger off, one hand on the back of your head to steady himself as he shot his load down your throat, pulling out towards the end so the last of it dribbled down your chin. “Now me?” John asked, pushing a second finger in with the first as Roger let you go. “Stretch me out a little more and then yes,” “Oh, no, I’m not ready for that yet. I want your tits.” “What?” “Your tits, Y/N. Turn around,” His fingers left you and you were free to move, shuffling on your knees to face him. John pressed down on your shoulder pushing you to sit back on your knees and adjusting your angle so he could slide his lubed up shaft between your breasts. He pushed them together with his palms and slid them up and down his dick as he rutted against you, spreading the sticky lube over your chest. With a slight smile at John, you  dipped your head a little and kissed the tip of his cock as it moved towards your lips. “Fuck, been waiting so long for this,” he groaned, “gon-na make a mmm-ess all over you.” He gave up on speech as he neared his released, communicating exclusively in grunts and increased speed until he finished, covering your chest and sternum in ropes of cum that dripped down your skin.

You laughed as John fell back. The hardest you could remember laughing in a while. “What’s so funny?” Brian asked, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “Just thought what that reporter would say if she could see me now, naked and dripping in spunk,” you managed to get out between giggles, “her face would be fucking priceless.” The boys laughed along with you, glad you could see the funny side of the situation with the article. “Does that mean you’re feeling better?” “Yes Rog, but I’m still not done with you.” “What did you have in mind?” “Well,” you crawled over to where Roger was sitting, leant back on his hands, and placed your hand on his throat, tilting his face away from you a little so you could lick a long stripe from his jaw to his temple, “I meant it when I said I wanted all of you.” “Never doubted it, love,” he sounded a little breathless. “Just let me know when you’re all ready to go again. Not you Rog, I can see you’re ready.” “I’m good too Y/N,” “Yeah, same,” “In that case,” you shifted your position, lining yourself up with Roger and sinking down on him, squeezing his throat a little harder as you adjusted. “John, you still got that lube?” “Yes, uh, yeah here,” there was the sound of a cap flipping open and you leaned forward encouraging Roger to lay back so you could give John better access. “Hey, Rog, can you spread your legs a little wider,” “S’pose so, just don’t kneel on my bollocks or anything,” “God give me a second, the thought of that just made mine try and jump up inside me,” You giggled as John shuffled closer, using his fingers to spread some more of the lube over you and to keep stretching you out. “What about me, Y/N?” “I haven’t forgotten you Bri. I want every inch of your cock shoved so far down my throat I can feel you for a week. Just let me get used to the others first, yeah? Still feels kinda odd having two of you at once since we’ve not done it much.” Brian nodded, contenting himself with running his fingers through your hair as he waited. John, having pulled his fingers from you and slicked up his dick with more lube, sank into you slowly, his hand on your back to keep you bent forward. It suddenly felt hard for you to pull in a new breath as you tried to adjust to the feeling of both of them, especially when John gave an experimental thrust, fucking you slowly to make sure it felt okay for everyone. Brian talked softly, reminding you to breathe and telling you how well you were doing, until you were better in control of your lungs and ready for more. “Are you sure you want me as well?” “Yes. Lets show that parasite just how far I’ll go, huh?” Roger laughed, “that’s the spirit.”

Brian didn’t need more convincing than that, though it did take a little trial and error to find the best way to accommodate all three of them. Brian tried perching his arse on the headboard but Roger whinged about “seeing nothing but Bri’s ballsack flopping about. And I know you see things when you’re gangbanging but that is too much.” In the end Brian stood next to the bed by Roger’s head, enough to the side that Roger’s view wasn’t impeded but still close enough so that the angle wouldn’t strain your neck. He gathered your hair into a messy ponytail as he pulled your mouth onto his cock, letting you work yourself further down his shaft as slowly as you needed, checking in with you every now and again to make sure you could take more. The other two were mostly still as you adjusted to Brian, though once or twice they’d given a small thrust or shifted slightly and made you whine. Once you had Brian buried as deep in your throat as he could go you paused for a few seconds and then pulled back again, strings of saliva breaking on your lips. “How was that?” “Good,” you gasped, “New. Kinda weird but very fucking good.” That didn’t really explain anything but you weren’t sure how to describe the nearly overwhelming fullness, the sudden heat, the tension in your belly which you couldn’t pinpoint as either anticipation or nerves or just because you were stretched open on three cocks. “And that’s without us doing anything,” “I know,” you grinned, “I’m excited. Why didn’t we try this sooner? But now you guys can cut loose. I’m not sure I’ll be much use in like riding you properly or whatever. Just don’t know my brain can focus on keeping both of you in my holes while I’m thinking about blowing Bri well. So, just fuck me however you can and we’ll see how it goes.” “Don’t worry, we’ll make you feel good,” John said, rubbing your back softly. “Yeah, course we will, love. And if ends up being shit then we can just take turns instead,” You nodded and took a deep breath before leaning forward to take Brian again. You controlled the pace once more, bobbing up and down his shaft, sucking on his tip, as the other two figured out their rhythm. It was a strange sensation to start. It felt clumsy and more than a little awkward, especially when John mentioned how he could feel Roger inside you. But that eased as they adjusted and worked out how best to fuck you. John held your hips as he plunged into you, each thrust harder than the last as his confidence rose and he found out what you liked most. Roger’s hands moved over your skin rather than staying in once place, palming your breasts and teasing your nipples between his fingertips before sliding down your side to grasp your waist and then back up to your breasts. You were rocked on his cock with each of John’s pounding thrusts, which only made you moan around Brian’s. You let instinct take over there, one hand stroking from his base up to meet your lips as you swallowed him deeper. His hips jolted when you whined or moaned and before long you dropped your hand away from his shaft, instead grabbing his arse to keep yourself steady. He pulled you off him again and you could feel the spit on your chin. “Forgot what a fucking incredible cocksucker you are.” Brian groaned, “But can I take over? Fuck your throat?” “Yeah, okay,” You had time for another breath and then you were pushed down again, right to the base. “There we go,” he groaned, pulling on your hair, “Gonna make you feel so fucking good.” Your hum was choked off and ended in a gag as Brian ground his hips into your face. That seemed to be the tipping point though. The moment all three of them forgot about awkward views or who was positioned where and became entirely consumed with fucking you deep and hard. You were glad to let them lead, grabbing you, pinching and pulling and squeezing every inch of you they could reach. And all the while spearing you on their dicks, keeping you in a cycle of mounting pleasure as they found all your most responsive spots inside and out. You felt your orgasm building again, the heat rising, getting more urgent as you got closer and closer. The sounds you made were muffled by Brian but that didn’t stop you making them, moaning with every pounding thrust. As you neared the edge Brian pulled you off his cock so they could all hear you properly, their encouragement mixing in your lust addled brain and creating a wall of noise that pushed you over the edge with a loud cry. And yet they didn’t stop. Brian waited until your orgasm was reduced to aftershocks that made you wince and whine and then cut off your air as he entered your throat again, resuming the long, deep strokes that made you gag until he came, holding you down as he emptied himself completely.

As soon as the other two didn’t have to worry about giving Brian access to your mouth they adjusted your position, John pushing on your back until you were bent over. Roger attached his lips to your throat as they simultaneously fucked into you, the change of angle pushing Roger’s cock against you in a way that had you seeing spots. You cried out again as Brian lay a slap on your arse. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” John grunted as he came too, unable to hold out any longer though he didn’t withdraw from you either. His hips slowed a bit and he whined softly but he kept fucking you. “Rog,” you panted, trying to get him to finish too. “You’ve got another one in you, c’mon love,” You whined but nodded, the familiar sensation already tightening in the pit of your stomach. Again the three of them encouraged you, John wrapping his hand around your waist to find your clit, Brian reaching under you to squeeze your breast as his other hand came down on your arse again. They gave you no option but to cum, shivering between them. Finally Roger let go too, moaning into your ear as he filled you up.

It took a moment to disentangle everyone, John being careful not to go too fast and hurt you, but finally you were able to collapse together, sweaty and panting, spread out over the room. “So, cheered up now?” Brian asked from where he’d lain down on the carpet You peered over the edge of the bed at him, “Think so. Thanks for that, it was fun.” “Any time, love,” Roger chuckled from the end of the bed, patting your knee, “and I mean that.” “I’m not you groupie anymore,” “Never said you were,” “Then what?” “What Rog means,” John cut in from where he’d spread out on you window seat, “is that if you ever need cheering up or to let out some frustrations, we’re here. We’re happy to help,” “Does your help always involve a gangbang?” “Not always,” Brian laughed. “Well, a lot of the time,” Roger added with a wink. “I’ll keep it in mind,” you chuckled, “I’ll have to face my family at some point and there’s a high chance I’ll leave upset and frustrated so, we’ll see. Wonder how Freddie’s getting on with those calls.” “I’ll go give him a ring and find out,” Roger said, half groaning as he stood and stretched. He didn’t bother grabbing any of his discarded clothes before he left. “I’ll take Rog his pants,” John sighed as he got up and replaced his own underwear, exiting the room with an eyeroll, Roger’s underwear pinched between his thumb and pointer. “And I’ll...stay here?” Brian said, “unless you need anything?” “Nah, I’m going to jump in the shower. Let the other two know that’s where I am, would you?” “If you’re doing that, can I have the bed?” “Sure Bri,” you laughed, “as long as you promise to change the sheets when you wake up.”