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leighcest · 13 days ago

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happy twenty years of saw! unfortunately i'm a loser and have too much free time so i read the entire script (and watched the movie twice!) so here's every note i took for the script and ending of the movie:). this is super messy and incoherent but i had fun, and i hope you will too! happy 20 years saw<3.

TW FOR: everything in the first saw movie! gore! mentions of self harm and suicide! drugs! spoilers! mindless rambles! me being incorrect and stupid! absolutely no proper grammar!

Might be reading too deep into this, but half of Leigh’s body being out of water is so funny to me because like, I think if it was on purpose it was probably to try and make him look bigger or like taller???? Like.. LMFAO.

Also this is the movie not the script but I love the angle that we see Leigh in while he’s submerged in water its so fucking good omfg. totally worth him drowning for a few minutes.

“Jesus christ!”

Adam’s first line being a swear is a good way to show he’s juvenile, immature, etc.

“There is a faint noise. It’s close. In the room.”

Hey so this is petrifying.

“A second voice slices through the blackness”

Leigh’s imagery in every. single. script. is genuinely so wonderfully breathtaking. Even if I had never seen this movie before I could imagine it in my head (which says a lot considering I have aphantasia)

“I don’t know, yet.”

This line is so interesting to me. It’s not Lawrence just tossing his words around being like ‘ohhh i dont know’ its him being logical and saying ‘i don't know yet’. It sets the tone for his character to set him up as this sensible rational thinker of a character. Similar to how he’s described as a ‘older’ or more mature character.

“The man begins whispering to himself; primal, childlike”

Immediately after this line, Adam whispers prayers to himself. He’s so young. So fragile. I wish we got to see more. So fragile, and yet still learning. So is Lawrence in a way. I think it’s symbolic. (This next part is purely headcanon, feel free to skip). They represent each other in a way I suppose. Adam who’s outward about himself (more on that later) but doesn’t have his shit together. Lawrence who’s always had his shit together, but couldn’t ever be himself. It’s the yin and yang I guess.

“The older man (46) … The other man, (25)”.

They have a 21 year age gap. By the time Lawrence had taken his first legal shot, Adam was opening his eyes for the first time. Also I’d like to note that Adam is 25. His brain just developed. (Pushing that ftm agenda!). He. is. still. learning. Him and Daniel and Diana and every other young victim were still learning. I am fully on board with the ‘Adam is NOT a good person’ train but also the fandom (from my experience) will also treat him like a super shit person too. Anyways, 21 years. That’s crazy. I feel like that pushes the feeling that Adam and Lawrence are supposed to be these polar opposite's but, honestly, this just reinforces how similar they are in their core. anyways, yeah.

“Lawrence kneels down for a better look at the corpse” + “He vomits.”

The difference between their characters is shown well through their reactions. Lawrence tries to figure more out and Adam fucking throws up LMFAO. Anyways. yeah.

“Despite himself, Lawrence’s stern, even tone has the effect of settling Adam a little bit.”

THEM. Chainshipping please save us. They could have had a life UGH. anyways. This line means so much to me you guys don’t get it.

“What about you, huh!?” + “What?”

When Adam is being questioned at the beginning his voice is soft and afraid before getting defensive.

(All of Adam’s first flashback)

NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US. NEVER EVER FORGET WHAT WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN. However, I do think the lack of any other real information about Adam is a very strong storytelling device whether intentional or not. He is not a character. He is a plot device. In the final movie, he has one flashback that is purely there to further the plot, specifically about Lawrence. We don’t learn a whole lot about Adam except why he was put in Lawrence’s trap.

“Adam mouths the words ‘little shithead’ along with the irate neighbor– this is clearly a well worn routine.”

Leigh. I know it’s been twenty years. PLEASE MAKE THIS SCENE COME TO LIFE I’M ACTUALLY ON MY KNEES BEGGING. I need this flashback so bad i am going to put myself in the rbt. anyways. this bit is so endearing it just kinda makes me giggle:3.

“He ‘shoots’ the cop with his fingers.”

PROGRESSIVE ADAM!

“The door opens again, Adam emerging with a carton of milk.”

Everyone always talks about how he’s feeding a stray cat, and like, yeah, that's surface level. But. like. that was probably the last of his food.

“What a lovely, non-judgemental animal you are.”

I like to think that Adam became a stalking photographer because of the fact he never fitted in anyways. Like yeah, he’s not a good person, but why? Why does he want to kill himself? Why doesn’t his family talk to him? I have so many questions. I need to know more about him. Also. You lovely, lonely thing. (/ref) OK KMS I’M DONE.

“Lawrence studies his face, needs more.”

Me too man, me too. Anyways lets play a game of is this romantic or is Juno reading too much into this and needs to go to bed and log off of ao3?

“Lawrence reaches the BMW”

sorry i just hate how much of a soccer mom he is, continue.

“‘Lift up your sleeves.’ Adam does.”

scars lining his wrists. that's it. that's the note.

“Can you see any scars??”

Yeah bitch your top surgery ones (sorry)

“Yeah well, how do you know I’m not in terrible agony?”

sassy ass man jesus christ

“It’s the only object in the room not incrusted in mould”

Leigh spells mold the aussie/british way and that made me laugh.

“Adam sits on the floor, unbuckling his jeans and yanking them down.”

WHAT???? I do not remember this scene! Anyways, (cough) slut (cough)

“It’s a tape. It says play me for the rules.”

No it doesn’t, it says ‘play me’, liar.

“High pitched and cheerful.”

THAT WAS JIGSAW'S VOICE? dude if billy was the one doing the tapes i literally never would have watched this out of fear.

(All of Lawrence/Adam’s tape.)

Lawrence’s tape was twelve compound/complex sentences. Adam’s was four simple sentences. Adam is not a character. This is not his trap. He is a pawn, a part, a witness, a victim. He is not a character.

“Just shit.”

LMFAO

“Why thank you for that information, Zep.”

Lawrence seems to be a lot nicer in this script to Zep than in the movie. Deserved.

“David Tapp (40) and Steven Sing (28, Asian)”

why is sing the only character who’s race had been decided …???? what... is this cuz of his like one off chinese food joke

“Are they always chained up with you?”

You wish.

“Hear that? That’s the sound of my marriage going down the drain.”

SING NOOOO </3. He had a family n shit:(. Cries

“She’s one of the nurses at my hospital. Couldn’t tell you her name.” + “Her name is Amanda Denlon.”

MANDY!!!!!! I’m not sure wether I’d prefer this nurse version of mandy (and possibly drug addict lynn in 3?) or the way it is now. I don’t care. I love her.

“It speaks with a voice we have come to known as Jigsaw’s.”

I love this line so much it’s just so. GAH! Idk :3.

“Hard to complain when your mouth isn’t open, isn't it?”

This is so. God. Jesus Christ. I don’t even know. Sad, gut-wrenching, sickening. I love you Mandy you do NOT deserve this !!!!

“Like a bear trap.”

I find it kinda like full-circle-ish that one of the most famous horror scenes ever is Mandy’s reverse bear trap scene that Leigh wrote and then starred in a movie four years later where one of the main characters dies from a bear trap to the neck. (dying breed)

“I’m alive.”

I know Leigh said he and James never planned for sequels, but Amanda’s character was so perfectly set up as an apprentice. I don’t know. It’s amazing. I love this movie.

“Adam looks like a frightened child.”

Let’s separate this. Like a frightened child. Again, immature, unsure Adam. Adam looks. Voyuerer.

“Can you hear me in there, you dirty fuck? You haven’t worried me in the slightest! I’m having the time of my life!”

Guess this Adam hasn’t had a lot of fun with lube.

“Fuck thinking. Don’t you wanna scream?”

“‘You’re not gonna leave us, are you Daddy?’ This one stumps him.”

STOP. I simply cannot do this right now.

“I was an only child. Always wanted a brother or sister.”

I wholeheartedly think he only wanted an older sibling to protect him from his parents abuse or so that someone other than him would get the blame. Adam would hate himself for it, but, you know.

“I remember I wanted to be a vet. I really, really wanted to be a vet.”

I know everyone and their mother talks about this line, but I’ve literally stayed up SOBBING because of it. It means so much to me, maybe because I can kinda relate to it in a sense, maybe because Adam Radford-Faulkner-Stanheight is a stupid nerd who is too relatable for his own good. Who knows.

“Gagged like animals.”

Okay. So. I can’t do this.

“I don’t like being watched.”

Ironic.

“Too messy. We don’t have to water these.”

HE’S SUCH A BAD FUCKING PARTNER WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS???? Like i have genuinely never seen any toxic!lawrence rep and i’m SICK OF IT. DO U HEAR ME. SICK.

“The figure rifles through a chest of drawers, in one of them, woman’s underwear.”

Ew. Fuck you Zep.

“The sewer lines run under this neighborhood too, doctor.”

I love this line more than anyone will get. Ever.

“Give me the address.”

Sing is such a real one bro shout out to him. He has a wife and kids waiting for him to get home and he does ts. Shoutout!

“What’s more important to you, Tapp? Arresting the great Jigsaw or saving a life?”

Narcissistic much? You know, I could put you in a trap for that, John.

“Your eyes aren’t lazy anymore. They don’t glaze over things.”

HOW DOES LEIGH THINK OF THIS SHIT??? Fire ass banger lines nonstop.

“Adam chews his nails, eyes glued to the cigarette. ‘I don’t care, I really don’t, I need one’.”

It’s giving ‘i can quit when I want to!’

“May I please have one, doctor?”

Lawrence straight as hell I woulda gone crazy.

“He holds the treasure chest in his hands. Drills Adam.”

That sounds like something out of a porno.

“I… I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Again. Half movie, half script, but FUCK ME leigh’s american accent is kinda crumbling when he says this so it’s just this pathetic whimper and it’s guilty and it’s just so. Fuck man, I don’t even know. God bless America.

“Why did you want to die?” + “Yeah well, I’m alive AND I’m nothing.”

This dialogue is so devastating I wish I could have included it all. I know I’ve already said it before but I need so bad to have Adam’s lore expanded on. I need it so bad.

this film has way too many flashbacks god DAMN

“Adam still seems unsure of how to play along with his scheme.”

He’s so stupid I love him.

“Get this thing off me! Get it off!”

Me when I’m overstimulated

“I’m ending this right now, give me that hacksaw.”

Hello if I was Adam i’d be PETRIFIED.

“Dark, cramped, Messy. The walls are covered in protest flyers and band posters. A large portrait of Che Guevera takes up one wall.”

I fw the imagery because I feel like I can smell his apartment. That’s a bad thing, I think. Not too sure now, ask me tomorrow.

“Your father’s not angry anymore. We just want to know if you’re alright.”

We just want to know if you’re alright. Fuck you, Leigh Whannell.

I really like the red room scene in the movie because there's no other noise. It’s quiet. Quiet enough you can hear Leigh’s breathing and creaky floorboards. It’s so contrasted from the rest of the film’s eeriness and it lulls you into this sense of false security. I don’t know. I like it.

“He writes himself a note – Call Mom. Looks at it, and adds a question mark – Call Mom?”

And if I start crying 🤗??

“It looks a lot like Lawrence.”

Wonder why.

“Lighting up a messy but empty bedroom.”

I’d like to note how everything we’ve learned about Adam’s decor choice is shit you can get for free/cheap. Posters that you can print for 80 cents, protest flyers that you can steal off a bulletin board, a cheap flee market painting, nothing at all. Also what is with Adam and Cuba??? 😭

“Where were you last night, Daddy?”

MY BABY. MY POOR BABY. SHE WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO COME AND SAVE HIM. I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREEEEY7WHFIUUWOEFHWJD.

“What did you do in that hotel room? You got outta there pretty fast.”

Adam defo believes he’s an old man one pump chump LMFAOOOO.

“7 am– gym. 9 am– breakfast, one glass of grapejuice. 10 pm– see carla.”

Lawrence Gordon does not go to the gym but okay, second. One glass of grapejuice? Grapejuice????? 10PM SEE CARLA??? Me when I write my affair in my daily planner.

STOP IT WITH THE FLASHBACKS. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.

“You’re not a victim of this game, you’re a part of it.”

Well, yes.

“He’s a gutter feeder.”

LMFAO

“‘I did not..’ he can’t bring himself to say it.”

OHHHHHH i love guilt in media cuz fuck i’m crying now.

“You get that rope off her, now or you’re dead!”

Ally. Sweetheart , love of my life, you fucking idiot why would you do that.

“Lawrence! Please, get up! I need you to get us out of here! I need you!”

Ok gayass. Anyways, this scene is so sad:(.

“Don’t you think I wanna live too, Lawrence? I have a family. I don’t see them, that’s my mistake … it’s a mistake I’d like to fix!”

AND IF I END IT ALL THEN WHAT 🤣🤣🤣!!!! THEN WHAT!!! 🤣🤣🤣. Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt I love guilt.

Page 89 reads like a novel. I like that. Even if I don’t like this scene, I like it.

“Lawrence wails gibberish. Adam’s pleads can barely be heard over the din.”

oh i’m ill i’m sick i’m so sick i cant plz stop it save me. CHAINSHIPPING IF YO UCAN HEAR THIS PLEASE SAVE US!!

“It doesn’t matter how far down this pit we seem, there is always hope! You told me that!”

ANDDDD IF I START CRYING??? Leigh Whannell when i catch u it is OVER FOR U .

“You wanna chain people up, you sick fuck? You’ll die with your own chain!”

Shit someone let this guy become a poet.

“Get this thing off my foot!”

cut it off <3 !

“Am I gonna be okay?” + “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

goodnight. GOODNIGHT.

“Unable to believe what he is hearing, Adam turns around and tremors in utter shock.”

Leigh did a fire job of this because I know exactly what he means when I read this and know exactly what he’s doing when I watch it.

“He pushes a needle into his forearm.”

Ok mandy..

ALSO i love how john and adam are matching shirts theyre so silly.

“This is truly Jigsaw.”

CHILLS.

“I’m surprised by you, Adam. The pawn has done what the knight couldn’t. You’ve murdered and innocent man.”

Fuck me. jesus harold christ because WHAT. freak you leigh whannell you absolute opp. HE IS A PAWN GUYS IT LITERALLT SAID. rip adam you would have loved when the pawn… Also why wasn't this in the movie it totally should have been. anyways, this is my favorite line in the script i think.

(movie ending breakdown from a month ago):

Larry cupping Adam's cheek

Adam leaning into to the touch

Grabbing the hand that cupped his cheek

Larry stopping the toilet seat smashing again because Adam was hurting himself

The bloody handprint of Adam's cheek post-Larry leaving

Adam's face slightly softening when Diana calls Larry for the first time

"you know who i am☹️"

Larry flinching when Adam smashed zep's head

Larry strokes Adam's cheek with his thumb while cupping it

Larry looking in Adam's eyes and tensing when he looked down at his wound

Adam flicking his eyes between Larry's leg and face when he says "are we gonna be okay?" More asking if Larry would be okay

Larry using all his strength to reassure Adam

Adam not being able to look into Larry's eyes when he's lying

Larry not able to look his secretary in her eyes when they're ab to hook up

Larry being electrocuted while Zepp is in a car driving (hinting to jigsaw not being Zepp)

"I need you!" Leigh said Adam was having the darkest part of his life, and I think this line and Leigh's delivery just really shows that perfectly

I can’t believe this movie is twenty years old because it’s so timeless. It’s such an important movie to me and means a lot. I don’t know what to say because I’m constantly pouring my heart out about how much this movie means. It’s just. I don’t know. I’m not very good with words (can you tell?). It’s just amazing. I’m sure everyone will say that, because it's true. For how much shit I give them, the community is so amazing and I've met so many amazing people and made so many wonderful friends thanks to this movie. Yeah. thanks for reading:). anyways. Hope you liked this mess, cause i did! likes + reblogs are appriciated 💓

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nekropsii · 4 months ago

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is it normal, would you say, to be a fan of a character who is on paper completely reprehensible because you _enjoy them as a character, not as a person?_

rufioh and kankri in particular are two of my favourite dancestors but it feels so wrong to say i'm a 'kankri fan' or a 'rufioh fan' because. that's such a loaded title that almost feels like holding up a neon sign that says 'i'm ignoring the textual misogyny both of these assholes espouse in every other sentence'

it also doesn't help that i am yet to find a single fan work (besides sovstuck, of course) that actually gets them right. any and all depth they have is taken away, rufioh is painted as being in the right and damara as his 'psycho ex', and kankri is just a walking joke with no nuance to his characterisation.

Literally completely normal, and I’ve spoken at length before how I believe the seeming general inability to separate “liking a character as a Character” vs. “liking a character as a Person” is doing some extreme damage and is also a major source of discourse and apologetics within fandoms in general.

From what I’ve observed, people seem to tend to think that when you enjoy a Character, you must also enjoy who they are as a Person, so they start sanding their Character down to make them a more palatable Person. Their actions and words are disregarded, their more unsavory traits are either softened or removed entirely, suddenly they have deep and tragic reasons as to why they viciously abused that person or hold bigoted beliefs so it’s actually okay, guys, so on and so forth.

I talk about Cronus a lot because he’s actually one of my favorite Alpha Trolls. As a character, he provides an excellent source of conflict and symbolism, and he’s an extremely important element in what makes Mituna so interesting and likable. Cronus is a vicious, unrepentant abuser and a total, unapologetic sex pest, he wants Alternian Culling to be legal to Beforus so he can legally kill Mituna for his disability with zero social repercussions, and so much more. He has absolutely zero redeeming qualities, and pretending like he even edges close to one means you’ve completely mischaracterized him and totally missed the point. If your version of Cronus even glances in the general direction of Genuine Redemption, throw it all away, you’ve made an OC and it’s too late for you. He’s a great character, and there’s a reason why I’m the main writer for him for Sovereignstuck.

There’s a reason I’d never call myself a fan, though. Hell, I’ve blocked people for labeling themselves as that before, because frankly… Jesus Christ. I’ve learned to take someone labeling themselves a Cronus Fan as a Red Flag. I’ve been here for 10 years. I know what that shit means 99% of the time, and I’m not going to be very willing to take chances for the 1%.

#homestuck #alpha trolls #kankri vantas #rufioh nitram #cronus ampora #nekro.sms

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erinelliotc · 9 months ago

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Some people (including myself) are Eddy apologists for this exact reason too- they can understand why he acts as he acts, where do come from his anger and insatisfaction with his life, and how he often gets a pretty unfair treatmente in some episodes (To Sir with Ed, Sorry Wrong Ed, X Marks the Ed, Who let The Ed In, The Good, The Bad and The Ed). On other side other characters (the kids) act just as bad as him and (almost) always come go unpunished. There several years ago Eddy got lots of hate, he was demonished and treated like a real monster and a sociopath by the fandom, devoid of any redeeming qualities. People who feel sympathy for him for his background and some of these episodes began to come to his defende and shows how he is a great character with a lot of good moments and a heart deep down.

Edd, on other side, always had the ''elite treament'', he was a angel, a perfect princess, who can do anything wrong in certain fans's eyes. Not to mention he pretty much overshadowed every other character on fanfics and fan arts, was everything about him. Another fans (usually Eddy fans) naturally got sick of this and started to push his flaws, the moments were he acted like a jerk, and how he's not above anyone on the show. And how not all his actions are (indeed) justifyable. Summing up, people were just sick of seeing Eddy being treated like a psychotic monster and Edd as the Jesus Christ figure.

Politely, just clarifying this to you. Good afternoon.

First of all, thanks for politely telling me all this! I wasn't really aware of all this because I only joined the fandom 5 months ago. And I totally get this, that's why I made the post. I saw some posts of people talking about those people who think Double D is an innocent little angel and I started to wonder if people think that about me, if I ever sounded like that, and I started to worry that someday I would sound like that in one of my future texts and videos talking about him. I hadn't thought about it when I made the post, but I hope it didn't come off as rude or an "attack" (???), I was just afraid that people would mistake me for one of those annoying people and just wanted to clarify that I'm not, because I really like this fandom and I don't want people to think that I'm annoying or that I make superficial analyses of the characters (because I personally think that oversimplifying Double D as good and Eddy as bad is something people do when they watch the show very superficially). I tend to be that type of person who feels the need to always clarify and justify myself for fear of others hating me, and also, I'm a little traumatized by Twitter where people tend to be very aggressive and mean to you for everything and assume things about you and not explain things to you etc etc... so I was a little anxious after making my post, afraid something like this might happen, but from everything I'm seeing, people on Tumblr seem so nice and kind in general. So I want to thank you again for being so kind and actually explaining the whole thing to me :)

Eddy is a character who's very easy to be wronged and misunderstood because he has great depth, several layers, insecurities and traumas that he covers with his false confidence and "jerky" attitude that he tries to copy from his brother. Obviously not justifying people treating him like a monster, just explaining that unfortunately we live in a world full of superficial people who aren't concerned with paying attention to details and stopping to really interpret and analyze things carefully and attentively, and understand that people are complex, characters are complex, and Eddy is a highly complex character. To these people, it ends up being more comfortable and convenient to just be content and cling to the character who, if seen superficially, is the "perfect little angel" who "suffers at the hands" of the "evil Eddy". I love analyzing and reflecting on things deeply, and it really irritates and frustrates me that people don't make the effort to do the same, and that happens in real life too. People quickly judge and have difficulty understanding that people are not simple and have different reasons for acting the way they do. I know it's hard to deal with people who act like jerks, I have a hard time myself, but I just wish there was a little more empathy in the world. That's one of the things Big Picture Show teaches us, right? Don't judge people because sometimes the jerk person is actually a very broken, insecure and frustrated person who just wants and needs to feel loved and accepted and doesn't really understand that. I think it's so important to learn this because it's true, sometimes people act mean not because they're actually mean, but because of so many other reasons that they themselves don't comprehend or don't want to show, and the "mean" disguise is just the way they found to defend themselves and survive.

I think (at least I hope?) it's noticeable in some of my posts that I also love Eddy (as a Double D kinnie I think it makes sense to be in love with him xD just an EddEddy joke to lighten up, but honestly I think people like Eddy are my type), I love analyzing and reading other people's analyses of his character and story, but my sympathy for him just grew in the last 5 months in fact, when I became hyperfixated on EEnE much more intensely than before and finally started to get to know about the whole story and characters. I even made a post once talking about thinking that he was my least favorite Ed, because before he actually was, but after rewatching the entire show now as an adult (the last time I watched I was a kid who didn't even understand a lot of the things that happened) and starting to analyze and read about it, now I'm very obsessed with him, I think his character is so interesting and deep, that he has the most interesting backstory and the best character development, and I even make more edits with him than with Double D (I think I tend to be obsessed with controversial and complex characters who are full of content to analyze from a psychological point of view like Eddy. A good example is Jinx from Arcane, I just love her character so much). I also recently realized that he's a lot like my brother, no wonder our mother often misunderstands him. But I get it, they (Eddy and my brother) are just people who are very hard to deal with because they carry several issues that you need to have good maturity and emotional structure to deal with, but it's so good when you can get to know a little more about them and help them get through these things when they open up and allow themselves to be discovered and helped.

Today I came across a post (which was honestly the trigger that made me make my post) from @eddfumo saying that they think Double D wants to be like Eddy in some way, and you know what? This is so true! I'll use my own experience to relate to him and explain him again, but anyway, I'm so envious of people/characters like Eddy. Even though they tend to irritate me and I even disapprove of many of their actions and decisions, they also have this determination, confidence (even if it's false, they're still able to act like confident people), attitude, audacity, strong personality, rebelliousness, extroversion and "not giving a shit" energy that I so wish I had too. I really admire these traits and I think Double D deep down does too (I like to headcanon him doing the same as I do and secretly fantasizing imaginary and hypothetical situations and discussions in which he acts more like Eddy, and he feels so good about himself afterwards, but feels frustrated that he doesn't have the nerve to do this outside of his imagination in real-life situations). Even though they have questionable morals, this type of person is so inspiring and you can still learn so much from them. It's no wonder Double D grows so much and becomes a more confident and less people-pleasing person because of Eddy's influence.

So yeah, it sucks when people simplify characters and see them as black and white, good and bad. The EEnE fandom is unfortunately not very big, but luckily here on Tumblr, at least currently, it's full of people who do in-depth analyses and that makes me very happy!

EDIT (I'm editing to add one more thing because I forgot to mention another topic that complements what you said about the other kids acting badly too and not receiving any punishment): One of the many things I plan to do after rewatching the show a few more times to properly absorb everything (I need to rewatch things at least twice to really take it all. Plus, I rewatched it the first time with the Brazilian dub because nostalgia and now I want to rewatch it with the original lines) is count how many times the Eds do real scams. Because honestly, there are a lot of episodes where we can't really call what they're doing "scams" because they're not actually scamming anyone, they're just selling something honestly and without harming anyone, but things always go wrong even when they're not doing anything wrong (often because of the Kankers, for example) and this is frustrating as hell to Eddy.

Since I haven't rewatched everything twice yet (because I'm still in the process of subtitling the entire remastered version of the show to rewatch it properly because English isn't my first language), I don't remember all the episodes accurately and clearly. But the last one I subtitled was "In Like Ed" (season 2, episode 9), so it's the example I have freshest in mind, even if it's not the best one. I know, the Eds were inconvenient in this episode crashing Jimmy's party (even though I think it's so lame that they rarely get invited to anything because the kids exclude them), opening his presents and everything, but one thing that stuck in my mind was the fact that when Eddy opened the present in front of them and revealed the sewing machine, Jimmy just said: "I'm so misunderstood. I wanted a pony!". He didn't say anything about them ruining the surprise or anything, he just started crying and ran away because he didn't get a goddamn pony. He just complained about someone's present, despised the present right in front of the person, and all Kevin said was "There goes the birthday boy. You dorks wrecked another party!". Like?? Jimmy cried because he didn't get the present he wanted, and not because of the Eds. I could even consider the possibility of them giving him "preferential treatment" and ignoring him because he's younger, but there are times when Kevin doesn't give a shit about Jimmy being younger, like in "Know it All Ed" (season 2, episode 1) when he uses the squirt gun on him, mock him and call him "twerp". Anyway, regardless of being younger, he was so rude and no one gave a shit, and not only that but they even acted as if it was the Eds' fault that Jimmy cried and ran away.

So yeah! The kids (especially Kevin) always blame the Eds (especially Eddy) for everything that goes wrong, even when it's not really their fault. And as you said, they also act badly, but nothing happens to them.

#ed edd n eddy #ededdneddy #ed edd and eddy #EEnE #double d #eene double d #edd #eene edd #double dee #eene double dee #eddy #eene eddy #eene analysis #my analysis #my headcanons

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nightcolorz · 5 months ago

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i read through a few of your recent asks and it got me on an armand defense blender so here we are. & i thought about doing this anonymously but then decided to rawdog it so fuck it. this is probably gonna be ridiculously long but i have Thoughts + i have a feeling if anyone will understand it's you (also i'm too much of a coward to make my own post on this topic)

ANYWAY the way some people in this fandom treat armand is actually like... vile. it goes hand in hand with the whole "reducing louis to a victim and nothing more" thing which you talked about and i want to expand on allllll that because jesus christ some of this shit

people have been talking about how armand is Literally The Worst Ever for two years now and that has really imbibed into to the fandom. i mean i was affected by this as well, i went into the books expecting the Worst from him but it wasn't nearly as bad as i had believed it would be (though tbf i am also biased here, i saw armand in a tiktok edit like a year and a half ago and autistically imprinted on him for a long while before i even watched the show. he can do no wrong ever actually)

but that mindset of "oh you thought LESTAT was bad wait until you meet ARMAND lmfao" (not flaming anyone for that btw, i'm pretty sure even i've jokingly said that at one point) has really poisoned him to the fandom. i fully get book readers being wary of him and overanalyzing everything when it comes to him but it's often the show only fans that are the worst culprits and it's a bit out of hand honestly

after s2e4 i legit saw a person say that they don't believe a word that armand said about his backstory and that he probably made up marius and all the abuse he suffered because he wanted "sympathy" (very pointed quotation marks on that one) from louis and to manipulate him. and it would've been bad enough if those were the words they used but instead they were downright horrible about it. i genuinely had to put down my phone and take a few deep breaths after reading all that. like why would you even assume that? i really hope that's not how that person treats real life victims because holy shit

and like I DON'T GET IT!!!!! people just loooove to apply malicious intent to armand in situations where there is none and i don't get it. this is the series about complex, shitty vampires and yet some people still shove them into boxes like Irredeemable Abuser Who's Just Horrible All The Time (armand, lestat), Perfect Innocent Victim Who Can Do No Wrong (louis, claudia) and Pinnacle Of Neutrality (daniel)

and the person from earlier was a die hard loustat shipper and stanned lestat and whatnot and like i'm sorry but only one of these characters has committed dv atp and it wasn't armand. why is armand the scapegoat here? (it's because he comes in the way of loustat) (also i really don't like flaming individual people for their opinions but i feel like this is vague enough that it gets a pass + this one genuinely made me want to bang my head against a wall)

people are just not equipped to deal with 3 dimensional characters because not only can they not accept that armand is not a cartoon villain that is Unequivocally Evil and some machiavellain mastermind but they also can't accept that louis is a shitty person. you can be a victim and a bad person. you can be a victim and toxic and abusive. like.. the way louis is treating armand is not okay and people shouldn't be afraid to accept that. HE'S A BAD PERSON THEY'RE ALL BAD PEOPLE THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINTTTT

and if people are bothered by that then this is not the show for them

personally i am glad they made louis actually be undeniably shitty this season it made me like him even more (& i say undeniably but people will still deny it like their life depended on it lmaooo). and i am also glad that they managed to really humanize armand for the sane of us because this portrayal of him and his character and personality is just *chef's kiss*. assad GETS HIM and all his little nuances and autistic swagger

yeah anyway uhhhhh people stop immediately assuming the worst of armand challenge (impossible) & i could keep going for another 7 paragraphs but i fear i've waffled on enough i am really fucking frustrated with parts of this fandom send help

(also like, hate armand if you will but hate him for actual things he has done lmfao stop making him something he's not. if you hate him for what he did to claudia, fair enough you do you i can't stop you but jfc some of these people)

YESSS GO OFF 🙏🙏🔥🔥‼️‼️ U or anyone else r so so incredibly encouraged to put ur steaming hot Armand takes in my ask box that ur too scared to post urself for fear of back lash! my Armand apologist army will eat it up and I will shield u from the masses ❤️❤️ consider urself protected and embraced solider.

but anyways, ur so right omg say that shit. The “if u think lestat is bad wait till u see armand he tortures people and does animal cruelty and frankensteins kid heads onto adult bodies lol all Lestat does is graphic domestic violence Armand is like crazy fr” meme has done irreversible damage to this fandoms comprehension skills it’s wild 😭 like due to two years worth of bracing themselves for mega evil Armand we have people spouting the most disgusting insensitive takes about sexual violence I’ve ever seen said so casually in a fandom 😭. I don’t think I’ve come across the post ur referencing tho *holy shit*, even in a fictional context “this person must be lying about being assaulted” is an insane thing to say with ur full chest, but I digress. I’ve seen takes where ppl r saying Armand was trying to emotionally manipulate Louis by talking about being repeatedly raped as a child and like ?? 😨😨😨. Excuse me😭😭 genuinely what the fuck. That’s the same thing as saying Claudia was trying to manipulate Louis by telling him about when she was repeatedly raped, like that is genuinely a fucked up thing to say😭. I don’t think it’s irrational to be weary of Armand’s actions at all because of course we were all bracing ourself for his betrayal so it’s not unreasonable to suspect he has ulterior motives, but it’s both dumb and also fucked up ngl to assume that literally every thing Armand does or says is two sided, especially when there has been nothing in the show besides fandom speculation to suggest that this is the case with him😭. It’s such a shallow, dumb assumption to go “oh this character is two sided so therefore he is never ever sincere at all”. Especially since Armand isn’t two sided bcus of non complex villainous intent, his motives and his lack of trust or loyalty for people or consistent, reliable behavior is very trauma based. I always like to say, he’s not like a snake, he’s like a reactive former fighting dog. A reactive dog can and will attack you without warning at any moment, but a reactive dog is so often disproportionately violent and unreliable because it’s learned that the world is unreliable and violence is how it can protect itself. Armand isn’t rlly the schemer type, he’s more of the “lifts his head from your lap and bites your face off” type.

I think that if the show was trying to suggest that Armand telling Louis about how he was raped was emotionally manipulative that would have been a fucked up and insensitive thing to write! and the fact that ppl r interpreting it that way without anything there to imply that is 😭 um. Woah?? It’s pretty overtly explained why Armand tells Louis his backstory, I’ve talked about it before but, in that scene prior to the backstory dump Louis is telling Armand that he doesn’t feel like he knows him, and he wants to know who he really is. And in this episode Louis and Armand r having a conflict where Armand perceives their relationship as intimate and important and Louis doesn’t even really see them as “together” because he doesn’t want to open himself up to that kind of vulnerability. So when Louis explains to Armand why he doesn’t feel as close to him as Armand does, Armand decides to be vulnerable with louis and tell him about who he is (and why he is the way he is) since Louis told him that that is what he wants from him. I don’t see how telling ur partner about ur life (which is made up of constant trauma) when he tells u he doesn’t know anything about ur life and would like to know more is in anyway manipulative or deceitful. Usually when I see a take I rlly disagree with I am at least able to discern how someone could come to that conclusion, but honestly I have no idea with this one 😭. Just, dude, come on. Y’all do realize that instantly assuming wrongfulness or deceit from a scene where a character is talking about their history of childhood sexual abuse does not make u look good 😭 right? The lack of self awareness is insane 😭 I understand it probably feels uncomfortable to watch a character u perceive as a straightforward manipulator and abuser talk about being horribly abused himself in a way that’s overtly sympathetic, but I think doubling down on ur previous black and white interpretation is like kind of silly goose behavior!

until ur ask I never rlly considered that some fans might be viewing Armand as noncomplexly always in the wrong bcus they are die hard Loustat shippers, but it makes sense! It’s also even more dumb 😭 I love Loustat a lot (mostly in the books cuz the show borderline desecrated them but whateves), but the thing about iwtv and tvc is that literally every character has and will date and be with each other constantly. The defensiveness over ur ship is not necessary 😭 if ur so hyper strict over monogamous shipping that it stresses u out to see ur favs in multiple relationships in the span of a show maybe this isn’t the fandom for u 😭🙏. I think maybe this attitude is coming from a place of “I need Armand to be worse then lestat because if Armand isn’t worse then lestat then loustat will look worse then Loumand and Louis will be wrong to go back to lestat”, and like, babes 😭 Lestat has already violently beat Louis on screen the harm has already been done, if ur still clinging to the hope that lestat will be ultimately the good and right choice for Louis u r fighting a loosing battle. Ship what u wanna ship guys, u can love loustat without trying to justify it as healthy or “healthier” then Loumand . But u do look like a dummy when ur trying to vastly mischaracterize Armand for shipping reasons 😭 like c’mon now. i feel the same way about Louis being portrayed as bad making u like him more!! I’m sure I’ve talked about this, but I kind of hated iwtv s1 and a lot of it was due to how Louis wasn’t at all overtly shitty or unlikable and seemed to be mostly in the right. My favorite thing about Louis in the books is how he portrays himself as a frail gentle human-like saintly vampire who wouldn’t hurt a fly and is better then other the vampires when in reality he is really a horrible, self victimizing unempathetic judgmental asshole who only cares about morality because he wants to boost his ego and feel better about himself. AHHHH it’s so interesting and entertaining to me, I love deceitful, selfish bitch louis sm. And I’m rlly happy with how s2 is leaning into this a little more than s1 is by making Louis such an asshole to Armand!! It feels really appropriate with the former slave owner/former slave parallel translated to the former pimp/former sex slave version in the show, and the way they are fleshing out the relationships in the books and adding more context. Louis is such a great character and I like him sm more in s2 lol, let him be shittyyy!! I beg u!! It’s such a shame that a lot of fans refuse to let their faves suck 🙏

and yessss!!! Armand is being portrayed so perfectly!! Assad is the perfect Armand I am so grateful for him, he is so beautifully nuanced and complex and human. So sad some fans refuse to acknowledge that 😭

on ur last paragraph!! Yesss literally there is so much about Armand to hate so if u hate him hate him for like canon things he has done instead of twisting everything he does into being non complexly evil bcus ur making the show worse for urself if ur viewing it so shallowly 😭. Armand has fucked over Claudia and Nicki and lestat and Louis, and if u hate him for that go right ahead 🙏 I hate Marius for ruining my faves life but guess what 😭 Marius is like a complex varied character and I’d sound like a straight dumb ass if I went on tumblr and tried to claim that literally everything he does is bad intentioned and evil, bcus that’s just not the case. U guys jumping through hoops to claim that Armand is always evil is like if I tried to say that Marius was actually being evil when he tried to save half the world from genocide from Akasha 😭 u know what I’m saying? Fortunately these characters r all incredibly complex and capable of like, nuanced intentions and behavior. If u can’t handle that in ur gay vampire show then I’m sorry ur going to be disappointed. God bless tho

thank u sm for the ask ur literally such an icon and I’m obsessed with u and ur steaming hot takes, everyone stands up and claps

#armand #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #iwtv #the vampire armand #Iwtv amc #iwtv spoilers #iwtv s2 #iwtv season 2 #loumand #louis de pointe du lac #Armand iwtv #Sa tw #the vampire chronicles

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sharonisthebettercarter · 7 months ago

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billy butcher and addiction--

felt there's a need for a good and proper analysis for this fucker (as well as i can manage, maybe throw in a bit of a rant on poor fandom etiquette, 'three laws of fandom' are an oldie but a goodie lol) so here we go i guess--

i wanna start by saying this is a full scope character deep dive (sortaish?? best i can do take it or leave it--lol i might go further in depth on specific scenes or whatnot later, i'm longwinded but i'm tryin' to condense as best i can for this, aaaaaaaaaaand long long post ahead--) that def includes elements solidly confirmed in dear becky and probably leans more on comics billy overall, but def does intertwine and interlock with show billy (as they are essentially the same, garth ennis' own words went something like 'he's a perfect billy butcher' lol)

i'll try to avoid spoilers (??) for the most part like dear becky, but there are some things that may need more context (there is quite a bit of in the show that works well enough to represent anyway but i guess we'll see how this goes, i may end up talking more about the show elements and how they parallel with comics billy anyway)

i also think it's worth mentioning that there's a lot to billy (especially in the comic) i feel fandom either ignores, dismisses or doesn't want to acknowledge, or just doesn't notice.

whether from personal bias/prejudice, desire (fitting billy into that 'alpha's alpha' toxic masculinity 'dom top' fever dream 'mold' so to speak, probably--no, definitely the *worst* way to interpret and easiest way bungle up his character, it completely misses the fact that billy has built *that* 'daddy approved' version of himself as a *facade* to *hide* his own shame and insecurity, and he is *so* much more complex than that nonsense (and genuinely uncomfortable and unhappy being that way-beyond the subtle guilt of a constant high). can we talk about the ways in which fandoms promote and perpetuate toxic masculinity--what, no time we'll be here all week?? oh, okay. jesus fucking christ that is exactly as bad if not worse than the maga chud interpretation and unironic worship of homelander--), lack of personal experience/familiarity, understanding--fuck it, even lack of education in media analysis or reading comprehension (if not both), and *especially* being pro-censorship/americentric/*stuck* with purity culture blinders (or even some part of them lingering)

all of those can def make media (and characters like billy) that isn't 'cookie cutter america-approved' fairly difficult to understand or accept (i guess??)

i've seen so much listed to hell and back in attempts to describe comics billy. 'he's a piece of shit' *YES*. 'he's just wish fulfillment for the author's hatred of superheroes' *no*??? let me not get into the complete hypocrisy of someone who writes or enjoys fanfic--the epitome of *wish fulfilment*--unironically complaining about other authors doing this and thinking it's a legit complaint. how does *anyone* read the entire story and come to *that* conclusion???

did you even bother reading the comic? no, i don't mean glossing over it with a completely closed mind while actively ignoring and dismissing everything important put in front of you and designed to make you think because the blood and guts or other is too distracting apparently, i mean *actually* reading it thoroughly and making an effort to think about what's being presented and why, waiting for the drop *instead* of jumping to judge (as is the american way)

and to some degree, i get it. i wouldn't say this comic is the easiest to digest (especially if completely unfamiliar with many of the themes presented, even the show has sparked some ass takes and interpretations) there's also plenty of common misconceptions, one in particular about garth ennis 'hating' superheroes. this is actually not true, what he hates is how the superhero *genre* has bottlenecked the comics industry and what is more likely to see success in it (and as a fellow creative, i completely understand how frustrating that would be, his main interest is actually war stories)

it's def one thing to say, 'nah, i don't vibe with the style' or 'it's not really for me/my taste but it's fine if others like it', i get that, satire and horror aren't for everyone. honest critique is fair even.

but it is a whole 'nother thing entirely to pretend your own personal tastes are *the only 'correct' creative law* and then *vehemently* oppose or hate something an artist created and denounce, harass, or fuck--dehumanize the people who enjoy it, if not the artists who work(ed) on it.

i'm sorry, this is a tangent cause it's def not limited to the hate the boys comics or ennis gets *at all*, it's especially prevalent in *literal* kids media like teen titans go where the thing in question is simply put--*NOT MADE FOR THE SHITHEADS NONSTOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT* when they can literally, *LITERALLY* just *accept* that they weren't the *target audience* and move the fuck on with their day, happy as can be. *instead* of shitting on something *or the people who like it* to make literal *children* or other people feel bad about liking it.

it's one thing to try and educate people or have discourse and discussion, it is another entirely to *bully* them over something so *stupid* as *fiction*.

i especially have a problem with this shit when i have *several* artists tell me that they don't feel *safe* or *welcome* being themselves, liking or creating what *they* want to make in a fandom *because* of the fandom attitude and normalization of *hate* within that fandom.

i *thought* fandoms were supposed to be about *love* so what the fuck is this human tribalist false dichotomy bullshit??

and of course, that's not always the case. there is also an unbelievable level of respect that is given to fanartists and fanfiction writers, and that is *beautiful*. 'don't like, don't read'. *PERFECT*. curate your own content, complain or rant in your own spaces--you're entitled to an opinion, but *accept* that it still has a right to exist and other people still have a right to love it (and aren't wrong for that, opinions cannot be objective), *even if you don't like it*. just don't engage then, it's that simple.

now extend that level of courtesy to the people, artists and writers in the industry.

no, i'm not trying to shut down criticism of media, proper critique is how we learn and grow and understand better and in turn *create* better. yes, they can fumble the fucking bag too, especially when adapting something from a source material and--like *some* fanfic writers out there--think they can do it 'way better'.

but the people in the industry? who bend over backwards, going on strike in some cases, breaking their necks to work on and create the things that we *love* and latch onto?

they're people too. and whether the thing they make goes *exactly* how we want or not, however you feel about the money in the entertainment industry (which they see barely a dime of if those fucking strikes and constant mistreatment are any indication), they don't deserve to be treated like scabs.

that mentality of 'not my personal taste = universally bad' and 'anyone who disagrees with my opinion is wrong' is fucking gross and *extremely elitist*, just straight up announcing how pretentious, obtuse, willfully arrogant and ignorant, and *lacking in self awareness*--the number one easiest way to be the *shittiest* kind of artist/writer/critic--you are. it is *exactly* like cishet white men complaining about something being 'bad' because it's 'woke' or has anything *besides* a cishet white man for the protagonist.

*god forbid something isn't tailor made specifically for them.*

swear to gawd, i got a list of different bullshit and circle jerking i've seen all across different fandoms for different reasons. no i'm not mad at any one person in particular, just a little salty from recurring problems and gatekeeping (ghoulfucking-GHOULFUCKING OF ALL THINGS I--I CANNOT) if not straight up bullying (does it really make a bitch feel *so* much better to try and hurt other people for liking what they, and let's be honest, are not willing to give the time of day?) in fandoms. (the complete audacity of people to complain about a media being 'childish' or 'bad' because 'insert nonsensical trivial bullshit here that holds no weight because it's personal taste if not flat out wrong and not actual critique' and then turn around and throw the biggest fucking tantrums about it--let me not get into the whole sharon carter debacle jesus christ--)

same shit. different pile.

also, fuck me. i keep *forgetting* that genuinely valid critique (*not* personal taste/opinion, proper critique pertains to things like techniques used, composition, narrative consistency and plot holes, goals of the artist/writer, accomplishments of those goals, etc.) is something that needs proper education and understanding all on its own which not a whole ton of people get or even know, which just goes to show--i'm a dumbass too. (but i won't deny that plenty of 'critics' are full of shit and *know* this but use their 'personal taste' as 'critique' *anyway* because... they enjoy being complete assholes and discouraging other artists i guess.)

y'all, take a class or two in art critique and literature analysis. you'll learn all the cool lingo (to later forget if you're like me~), and maybe (hopefully) walk out with a bit more of an open mind wanting to encourage more art in the world, even if you don't personally like it. take a moment to *listen* to differing opinions in their *entirety* and you might even gain a new perspective.

*no one* should be ashamed to ask questions or admit they don't know or understand something and fuck the people that would make you feel that way. *we can and should help each other.*

but stagnant or hostile fandoms with no self awareness and perpetuated elitism circle jerks? *really* fucking shameful, regardless of the form or where they are.

ANYWHO--

ugh, fuck. okay. i think i'm done with that tangent, back on topic--

BILLY BEAN~<3

and i want to reiterate that *again*, dear becky *does* confirm pretty much everything i'm going to discuss here tho technically speaking, nothing is spoiled here as it's just reiterating what is implicit (if not stated outright) throughout the series.

as far as dear becky goes, it's a good final gut-wrenching piece to the series and i loved it, but it definitely leaned on more of 'tell' instead of 'show, don't tell' (no duh in context, but probably because the rest of the comic did the 'show'--very well imo but it still flew over peoples' heads and made them misplace their brains--i'm sorry, i've just lost so much patience for the lack of reading comprehension and media literacy, but honestly? ennis is genuinely too good at knowing how to spark a strong emotional reaction in readers. and can we talk about the dense mofos that *make* authors have to 'tell' just to confirm something that is heavily implied--what, no time? oh, fuck, fine.)

OKAY--

addiction.

what about it, and why am i mentioning it. well. because if it's not clear by now, william butcher is an addict.

and it is one of, if not the core element that drives him to do what he does.

not becky or becca. not justice.

addiction.

and i don't mean traditional substance abuse (though he admits there has been as much in his life, especially with alcohol, his drug of choice is a bit more complex and maybe not so easy to spot on the surface for those unfamiliar with addiction).

in the show, we even see him mention that he's 'done 'em all' and there's *nothing* like temp v--and it's because temp v *amplifies* his *addiction* to the highest level it could exist on.

something else to note, there's a ton of stigma and widespread (ableist) misconception surrounding addiction still (which may be part of why people may not want to recognize it in billy), but it is absolutely a clinical mental disorder and people who suffer from it should be treated as *medical patients*, not reduced to violent criminals and scumbags. (fuck you drug war and prohibition, you are the root of organized crime and you're racist as shit.) it's also possible to become addicted to *anything*. and i mean *anything*.

if you can repeat a behavior and your brain no longer cares whether or not that behavior is causing you harm because there is a *compulsive* urge for that *repetition* or a specific result from it? that is addiction. money, anger, pain, violence, self harm, attention, love...

you'd think the last one might be okay, but it's not. it's an easy way to get caught in the infinite loop of an abusive relationship, just with promise of it. no delivery necessary.

but it doesn't have to be drugs that cause addiction. hell, gambling addiction is a thing all it's own that can get *incredibly* severe.

and listen, too much of *anything* can be horrible for you. fucking coconut will give you the runs if you eat too much that shit is *not* fun pun intended--

i digress.

in billy's case? he's actually addicted to two i just listed.

violence. and self harm.

i mentioned before that what drives billy has next to nothing to do with what happened to becky or becca.

there's a common misconception that, at the end of the day, billy does have some level of good intent behind his actions, and to a degree this is true in the *complete reverse* of what people often assume, and this is proven repeatedly in both the show (with just what we have seen) and comic (where its laid out too heavily to ignore).

setting aside the fact that there's *never* a good 'rEaSoN' to commit or even attempt *genocide* (EVER. i have ZERO patience for the constant apologism of this bullshit, SWEAR TO GAWD FANDUMB--) and billy's genocidal tendencies on their own, the idea that 'he goes after homelander for becca' or 'justice' has been completely debunked.

'justice is not vengeance'

something to always keep in mind.

but... in the first season? hughie called him out on this.

butcher calls him a 'disgrace to robin's memory', and hughie--bless his little heart, responds with 'i think i'm doing this *for* her.'

it's an interesting response, because hughie is essentially saying--

'you'll *die* for this woman, but that's not what she would have wanted. i'm going to *live* for robin, and for *annie*, because *that's* what she would have wanted.'

and he's absolutely right. billy loved becca, would have died for her. but he refuses to listen and *live* for her.

the group therapist too even before hughie. she literally laid it all out, front and center in the clearest way possible, 'it's a defense mechanism', and then butcher had his little meltdown just before telling hughie about becca, everything he can, including *using* other peoples tragedies and his own *specifically* to manipulate hughie and try and make sure *starlight* can't *save* him from what butcher is trying to turn him into.

*so that hughie stays stuck on his reason to die, instead of finding one to live.*

in the second season, *becca* herself calls him out on this, multiple times.

'you put me on this pedestal but i never knew how to save you'.

'--i didn't come to you, i went to vought--.'

and that's just it, becca (and becky in the comic) is *intimately* familiar with billy's *addiction* and the underlying mental health issues he *wouldn't address*. she didn't tell him what happened even after the shock of it because she *knew* that it would just become a reason for billy to *give in* and be his worst self to a degree where she would *lose him* regardless of what she felt or asked for from him.

she felt she had to *suffer in silence* to *protect him* from *himself*, something that ends up *destroying* her.

becca wanted to *save* billy, but more importantly, she wanted *him* to *save himself* because she *believed in him*, *so much*.

'i never wanted that for you.'

she doesn't want billy to drown and suffer or cause harm in his own hatred and addictions. she *loved* him so much so, that she was willing to *drown herself* if it meant she could save *him*. she loved him *too much*.

billy's mum too, even tries to help in her own way. (she is much less aware of billy's activity in the comic, but we'll come back to her. for the show, this was likely in response to seeing the news about *stillwell*, something his dad fucking *praised* him for)

'--that he wouldn't have this hold on you--'

billy's actions are almost entirely driven by the *addiction* his father forced on him. on doing the things that would make his 'daddy' *proud*. and the thing is, he's *fully aware* of this.

he constantly *says* that *becca* is his 'reason', that she was his *cure*, but she's the *excuse*. his *new addiction* and *self medication* (also billy, you fucking cunt you *know* what you do and have no leg to stand on when it comes to self medicating--)

both in the worst of what he does and his rejection of addressing his own traumas, and she is *unwilling* in this endeavor. she never wanted this hate to consume him, she never wanted all of this death with her name as the signature, *she never wanted billy to be his father*, much less be something much worse.

he even admits as much in the third season when he hallucinates lenny who tells him his actions would 'break becca's heart'

billy responds something along the lines of 'becca's dead, it doesn't matter what she thinks'. (a line presented in the comic even more harshly, but it drives the point home perfectly.)

when he sees lenny again in his nightmare--

'i'm not that bastard--.'

'come off it billy, you always have been. cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up gettin' 'em killed, don't ya--.'

'--the last person on god's green earth tryin' to stop you from bein' a monster, and what do you do? drag him down to your level... when he dies... and he will... then no can stop you.'

OOF OUCH OWIE--. the lenny stuff hits so damn hard but it represents *perfectly* what butcher's own *internalized beliefs* are.

mallory calls him out on it literally every season.

'--but billy! not the others!'

'it's like asking a cockroach to not be a cockroach--'

'--because it wouldn't stop with just homelander--'

'this was never about ryan or becca, it was always selfish. the hate inside that you want to let loose on the world.'

'--i was wrong... you are your father, always have been...'

and then there's billy's subsequent impulsive reaction to push ryan away, and *be his father*.

but hell, even in gen v when mallory is speaking to shetty.

and truthfully, billy was even showing *withdrawal* symptoms at the beginning of the third season.

billy himself, even *self punishes*, picking fights he knows he *won't* win as a way to counterbalance *and* satisfy his own addiction, infinite loop. vicious cycle.. (ooh i will def be coming back to the big one here--), and we see this in one *HUGE* way, and in many many smaller ways, but even in the more literal sense of going to bars, starting trouble, and laughing or smiling when he's getting beat the fuck up or *losing*.

it's even highlighted in the show, billy *seeking out violence* and conflict whether he should or not, *especially* when unnecessary. getting his own face busted up and smiling because of it is something that happens multiple times in the comic (even on accident in one instance), and is def given a place in the show. it's easy to pass off as billy simply being a masochist (which is def true lmao he does admit as much), but there's also more to it than that and it goes hand in hand with his *addiction* and--

what he thinks he deserves.

billy *hates himself* so *severely* that he actually *does not believe* that he is capable of the *good* that others, such as lenny, becca, his mum, and hughie are willing to *see* in him. he *completely* believes it when others say that 'he is his father' (internalizes it, struggles with it, and frequently acts on it).

he puts on a show. bravado, posture, and 'confidence'. and he's so good at putting on that front, that he can fool himself, even for a moment. and those that believe it will even *enable* him. and the people he feels *nothing* for? again, he maintains the front. he lives his life *masking*, *faking it*--so fucking hard. homelander could never--

and it's not even necessarily the result of toxic masculinity. don't get me wrong, he def has some issues with that lingering (y'all, if you have *say* you're an 'alpha' and posture out your sweet little ass off 24/7, you're def *not* an 'alpha' lmfao), but it's more so his own *trauma* that forces him to *cling* to that.

but when he *loves*, and he loves *deeply*, he completely rolls over and shows his belly like a kitten<3... when he was with becky, he was happy and comfortable, and all of that *ridiculousness* just melted away completely... he didn't feel any need for it because he felt *safe*, because this constant *insecurity* and feeling of being *threatened* all the damn time looming overhead had suddenly cleared up with becky there.

it's not even so much that billy doesn't feel fear. he might not traditionally (at all if his amygdala is damaged), but considering the fight or flight response, billy's *default* setting literally *is* that *fight* response. he's the way he is because he is *always* afraid and he's been conditioned for it to manifest itself as *rage*.

we see bits of his love come through in a few moments he has with people he has genuine care for. (the way he loves his mum and she instantly calms him down is genuinely so sweet.)

but it's always gonna come back down to 'daddy dearest'.

because of him, *billy is afraid of living*.

and--

his father. *is proud of him*.

billy is *just like him* or *everything he wanted to be* as a *man*, or at least is compelled to *project* this on the surface. and everything in *billy* that *is* his father, *just like him*, is *everything* that billy *hates*. so it manifests into an *intense* self loathing and spiraled addiction that magnifies the worst of what his father *forced* on him.

he *doesn't want* to be *his father*, but he feels, and fully believes that *he already is*. his self hatred is another form of *hating his father*, because *he is that man's legacy*.

so *billy* doesn't *believe* that he deserves love or goodness or care from other people (a parallel we see in homelander, presented a bit differently.) so he 'doesn't care'. makes excuses to not care (about people in general, if not just the very *prominent* antisocial tendencies), or leave, or push them away, lashing out to give *them* the excuse to leave him, because he is *afraid* and in his own mind, *unworthy*.

he's *afraid* of being loved, of *losing* that love, of *hurting* those he loves. he is *afraid* of being his own father.

but it's all he's ever known, all he's ever been *conditioned* to be. intoxicated, ever present, it's this terrible thing that destroys him but he *can't* stop. *addiction*.

and what better way to protect those he loves than to keep himself as *far* away from them as possible? than to *make* them hate him. than to do the *wrong* thing, to *disappoint* them. self sabotage. self punishment.

he can't stop himself. he deserves it.

lather, rinse, repeat.

so what does that mean for homelander, or even the reason he goes after homelander? the *real* reason.

'there must be *some* good in him because homelander 'must be' this 'ultimate evil that *must* be stopped', right?

not really. he's a symptom of a much greater evil, but he was never the root of it. if billy really wanted to solve the problems at hand and get *justice*, he'd go after *vought*, NOT homelander.

homelander is not even the real villain in *billy's* mind, in all actuality.

what homelander *is*?

temptation.

he is... the *ultimate* final high for billy. in terms of addiction to both *violence* and *self punishment*.

he doesn't actually go after homelander because he wants to 'stop him' or even kill him. not really. there are times billy starts a fight *expecting* to *lose*, *wanting* it. homelander *is* one of those times to the most intense degree that billy could find. and he even senses this when they first meet--unnecessarily, privately insulting the man because why?

because he feels *threatened*. because he feels *insecure*. because if homelander is *truly good*, even with *all that power*--

then billy has no fucking excuse--

it is, in essence, the same exact reaction that lex luthor has to superman. forcing himself to *challenge* him because of a *constant* sense of *fear*. (except lex *is* afraid of dying, so 1000% a huge coward lmao--)

but~, when he finds out homelander is *bad*?

homelander is billy's *failsafe*

to stop the person he feels is the most terrible evil of all *and* to set the world on fire in the process. a way for billy to kill two birds with one stone. compelled by his addiction to *chase* this ideation relentlessly.

homelander is to billy--his ultimate end, self punishment, a death wish, a *suicide attempt*.

and a way to *unleash his hatred onto the rest of the world*, *to make it burn*, even after his death. (this would be why despite many many MANY warnings to *not* push homelander *because of the catastrophe this will ultimately instigate and the loss of life this is bound to result in*--billy does not give a shit about the potential consequences. he welcomes them--)

if homelander were a *nuke*, billy would want to *launch* him. right now, homie is more like the *demon core*, incredibly dangerous and in some instances lethal, but not *yet* explosive.

billy *wants* the *warhead*.

it was why he got *so excited* at the *chance* of homelander offering him 'scorched earth'.

the man read billy like an open fucking book, and set the bait--

y'all, in other words, homie straight up went to billy's house and offered *crack* to the *crack addict*--fuck yeah he's gonna take that offer!

homelander never actually perceives billy as a real threat *at all* (safe to say, this is the main reason he doesn't kill him. there's a bit of personal complex combined with the deals/blackmail/request involved, but this would also be why he doesn't *hesitate* to 'kill' billy at herogasm. he genuinely gives no fucks about this poor man or his many anal complexes and daddy issues beyond the mild entertainment he gets from him and just how *easy* it is to read billy or rile him up. maybe a *dash* of novelty being found in billy's obsession with him. i'll go into the homie side of things in depth maybe someday soon lol but for now--)

and here's the thing, homelander isn't the *only* failsafe. he is simply the *ultimate failsafe*

included in all the possible bad habits billy has is pawning off his *responsibility* and personal accountability, even his *will to do good* onto others.

i mentioned before that becca (becky) was like a new addiction for him. and she was. in a sense, billy was using her to self medicate. she loved him, gave him love and made him feel good, no pain, no shame--but also no pause to think about that pain, self hatred and self doubt and actively address it. she was a way to not worry about his own *goodness* because she was an *easy* reason for him to *want* to be good.

and something important to note?

billy feels that he has *cheated* on becca/becky *since* the day she left/died. (there's a whole ass deliciously intricate story there but i'm trying to avoid the spoilers lmao. kind of a freebie hint i guess.)

lenny and hughie similarly make an effort to *hold butcher back* and reach out to him. (everyone does honestly, but not everyone is so successful with it). and butcher lets them, but *also* removes the agency of his own choice in the matter.

he doesn't just *let them* make him *good*, he doesn't believe he's capable of stopping himself on his own--but he believes in *them* because they *are* good, *truly good*.

hughie all on his own is *another kind of failsafe* and lo and behold, even calls butcher out on this by the end of the third season (theme is prevalent in the comic a lil different but again spoilers lol):

'i don't think you want to do this. i think you want me to stop you.'

*ding*ding*ding*!

nail on the head, hughie... butcher does not believe he can stop himself. so he sets up *failsafes* to do as much.

and let me just say, it is *unbelievably* shitty of him to do that, to pawn off the responsibility of his own behavior, whether good or pure evil onto other people. but i get it. and it fucking breaks my heart for him.

because *that* is addiction. it feels like mind control. aggressive compulsion. you feel ashamed, and hate yourself, and don't care if you hurt yourself or even others. but you keep *hoping*, *wishing*, *leaving a breadcrumb trail* so that *someone*, *anyone*, will come along and--

*save you. from you.*

and when you stop believing in yourself, in your own willpower to fight against this *thing* that just completely *destroys* you from the inside out... without *anyone* on your side, what else is left to do but to numb the pain?

i was able to recognize billy's addiction right off the bat because i've *been* to a lot of the places he has been. including the addiction. and he makes me so *fucking* mad because it's like seeing a version of myself *still stuck*, *still lost*, *still trapped* by my own issues and self loathing, and all of the abuse i've gone through--

and the biggest fuck up, the biggest *abuser* is me.

i can't *escape* me. *no one* can escape *themself*.

that fucker breaks my heart to pieces because *i have been there*, and i know just how fucking hard it is to *be* there, just how much harder it is to *get out* and start to *learn*--*who is it you really wanna be? who are you without this drug?*

and something he even says in the comics on a few occasions is--

'i'm not really here, i'm somewhere else watching this happen'

asserting that he *truly* believes that he has *no control* over *what* he is. (in contrast with homelander, who feels the weight of something similar but more literally in some regard, and in relation to so many other aspects in his life with the world around him.)

billy butcher *is* the *true villain* of *his own story*

of his own making.

he's not after homelander or even vought. he doesn't blame society or even his father at this point. he blames himself. and he's *given up* entirely on fighting himself. he's looking for his *overdose*.

*that's homelander*

ain't that a kick in the head...

it's part of what makes their relationship and dynamic so incredibly electric and titillating. it's got nothing to do with becca or becky.

butcher sees homelander as an easy way out. as a way to control the narrative, *maintain his own*, and *stop the bad guy* without bringing someone *good*, like *hughie*, down to his level.

he *sees* the parallels, a kindred spirit. he *knows* the potential. and he wants to be the *spark* to light all that *gasoline*.

because then it won't be his fault anymore. his *guilt*. he'll have passed on his *curse*.

likewise, he actually goes after supes in general for a similar enough reason, and it ties in with why he *doesn't* go after vought directly.

billy actually *likes* the status quo. to a degree, *needs* it, *needs vought*

because *vought* is the *creator* of his *supply*, feeding this addiction. and we hear billy say this in both the comic and show--

'with great power comes the absolute certainty that you'll turn into a right cunt.'

and billy actually believes this--about himself.

when he says it about other supes and even his intense hatred of them, it is a *projection* of his own issues and what he believes to be true for himself (that he would do the absolute worst thing imaginable given the opportunity). and in a way, going after them is in some ways a metaphor for stopping and destroying himself, hating himself, as much as it is a way to maintain his addiction.

and--

maintain the narrative he has built--that he is the true villain.

and if that's the case, well... it takes a *hero* to stop a *villain*, right?

but also--y'all remember that scene in the suicide squad where polkadot man imagines everyone as his mum? how he imagines starro as his mum?

yeah, that.

that's basically billy. every fucking supe, including starlight, and kimiko, and let's *really* not talk about what this means about him sleeping with maeve in context with his 'supe=daddy' issues, but even the person he sees in the mirror. *all of them* are *his father*.

listen, i'm not kidding. billy's daddy issues are seriously severe, so fucking bad, i--

his actions aren't for becca or becky or ryan or justice. even he *knows* that's bullshit and admits as much (which just makes fandom denying it that much more fucked). but they're not even *just because* or because he's genocidal, antisocial, or anything else. he *does* want someone to stop him. he's sane enough to recognize his actions for what they truly are *behind* the mask.

billy's actions are a volatile and violent *cry for help*, because he never learned how to *ask*, or even how to *believe in himself*.

he never truly learned that *he never had to be his father*, and he didn't *need* becky or becca, lenny or hughie to *be good*.

i actually think billy's greatest magic trick is convincing even the audience and readers that he is a *total*, complete piece of shit. and don't get me wrong, he is *def* a huge, massive, incredibly rank and ripe piece of shit--.

and y'all, i'm sorry if you believed him and got played like a damn fiddle, him and homie def throwin' in some hard balls--

but he's also still human. he also still needs just as much if, honestly? maybe even more, fucking *help* than homelander. which kind of draws back into their parallels. the tomfoolery of fandom might have you believe that billy is less complex or more put together than homelander, but their situations go hand in hand and the evidence suggests (if not confirms) something quite different.

billy's plight and even goal in some sense is *convincing the rest of his world that he is a monster*. driven by the addiction his father gave him. enabled by the world around him.

homelander's? it's actually the complete opposite. his struggle is with *his world convincing him that he is a monster*, and in turn, against his own instincts, *growing* into that role. when in reality, he never got the chance to decide for himself, it was decided *for* him a long long time ago.

'i think, therefore i am.'

'i can, therefore i must.'

however, *our actions cannot define who we are, because we can choose our actions*. good or bad are not something you inherently *are*, they are something you *choose to do*.

it paints what in turn becomes quite the brutal and tragic picture when these two forces meet. homelander and billy are both of the mindset that they *don't have a choice*.

and this bit is a bit more of a personal thought, but regarding billy's mum, she was *becky*. she was sweet, and kind, and cared for her family more than anything. *it didn't matter what she suffered, she was willing to drown if it meant saving the people she loved*.

as much as i adore how cute becca and billy were, i don't think she would have saved him.

i think the implication is that she would have either 'drowned' trying and become his mum, history repeating itself in a vicious cycle as billy spread his disease to any child they could have.

or that she would have lost her mind. and in turn *become* the person billy spread his disease to, if not another enabler for him. if not billy's choice of drug, maybe she would have taken up something else and eventually overdosed. i would even say the show implies this outcome with both becca and hughie, as the more butcher pushes--the more worn down they get.

if you put enough pressure on someone--they break.

becca was *good* for him. but billy was so, so fucking *bad* for her.

it begs the question of whether or not billy *is* right, if he really is this monster, *fated* to become his father in the worse of ways. of whether or not it's too late for him.

he's certainly not 'normal' or 'right' or 'good' or even an 'anti-hero'. at best, you could maybe call him an 'anti-villain', he is meant to be the deuterantagonist.

it def doesn't help that every time he has the *chance* to do the right thing, *someone* goes and enables him, gives him a reason to do the *wrong* thing.

fucking maeve in that last episode of the third season. but she's def not the only one, and def not the only time. (and yes, if it wasn't clear enough, being completely fucking indifferent to killing *thousands* of people to go after *one* fucking guy is in fact, the *wrong* thing to do.)

butt.

rewatching the scenes with lenny and billy's reaction, and even the final fight, showed something of a *possible* silver lining.

billy *enjoys* rejecting his father. actually pretty fucking greatly if we're being honest. generally speaking, it's when he *rejects* his father and everything that man represents that billy is at his *happiest* (lmao the epitome of an unfulfilled submissive sweetheart and bratty bossy bottom~<3<3<3)

there's a moment, where soldier boy says something along the lines of--

'--fuck you. you're weaker than he is.'

in regards to homelander. it's sort of glossed over, but this is billy's reaction to essentially being called a 'disgrace' so to speak by a toxic 'alpha male'.

y'all see that? it's a smile. lmao a smirk.

this is a moment where billy is protecting *ryan* and keeping his promise to becca. it's a moment where billy is *doing the right thing*, all on *his own* (mostly lol i'm sure there's a roundabout way to justify it in his head). and i think that's key.

it's not just a moment he's proud of himself and has a legitimate fucking reason to be proud of himself, (oh btw, we shoulda *all* been proud of billy in this moment), it's a moment he's *breaking through what his father made him* and his own *addiction*.

and he's doing it *selflessly* and--*without setting that responsibility on another person*.

so we *know* he has it in him, he always has. even becky *in the comic* kept trying to convince billy that *he is capable of good without her*. and again, we actually saw this in the second season when becca and ryan were reunited and billy *changed* his plans, *for becca*, instead of doing the selfish thing and selling ryan back to vought.

but if billy doesn't believe it himself...

i don't think billy is right about himself. but it is very *very* difficult for someone to *correct course* so to speak, once they have their *core beliefs*, lay out their own destiny and start along a *self fulfilling prophecy*, something him and homelander *both* do.

enter ryan.

and suddenly (lol probably in part due to reading dear becky lol), there was a bit of... not so much new, as *confirmed* perspective in play after that rewatch, something to *look* for and ponder in regards to *why* ryan may have been added for this story, a question in mind--

'would it be wrong of *ryan* to want to save his father?'

was it wrong of becca or becky, hughie or lenny, even his mum, to want to save billy?

how would *billy* even begin to answer such questions?

a different answer for the two would be a clear hypocritical bias (which lol i would not put past billy, but i also wouldn't be surprised if he maintained consistent thinking by answering *yes* to both)

. . .

y'all...

i still can't say i'm particularly optimistic about things turning out alright for either gent or ryan, butt~<3

garth ennis literally made the saddest, most pathetic, deliciously sweet, perfectly precious, extra emo tsun tsun baby boi ever, and put him right under our noses.

some a y'all fucking sneezing all over him, straight up sleepin' on all his *best* bits. how are we not utilizing billy butcher *properly~<3<3<3*????

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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atotalpitch · 4 months ago

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Bechloe week 2024 day 2: "you're up early"

read on ao3 here Fandom(s): Pitch Perfect (movies) Relationship(s): implied Beca/Chloe, can be seen as either pre- or during relationship! Word count: 666 Warning(s): none Other tag(s): mild hurt/comfort, fluff Summary: they have a conversation. literally that's it. i'm terrible at summaries. A/N: ooffff this is short, but i'm still happy with it!! my best friend, the only person i run these through, thought it's adorable and i trust her. any criticism or thoughts are always welcome!

--- Beca drops her headphones around her neck as she walks into the kitchen. It’s oddly quiet for the Bellas house, but it is five in the morning. She figures she’s the only one awake at the ass crack of dawn. That is until her heart jumps all the way up to her throat at the sight of a familiar redhead. “Jesus fucking Christ you scared me,” Beca mumbles under her breath, not knowing whether Chloe heard her or not. “Sorry,” Chloe half-whispers with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Opening the fridge and picking up a can of redbull, Beca does a mental double take on the time. “You’re up early,” she states matter-of-factly. “I’m always up early. You’re up early,” Chloe shoots back, raising an eyebrow challengingly. “Your first alarm is at 6.15, it’s 5.42,” Beca ignores the accusation and sits down on one of the kitchen aisle stools. She opens the cold can and takes a sip. “Spill. What’s keeping you up?” Chloe sighs. She knows there is no logical way out of this anymore. “I, uh… it’s dumb. My brother’s getting married. I mean, don’t get me wrong I’m happy for him! I love his fiancée too. It just made me think… I’m only a year younger than him and I’m still stuck in college, while he’s out there living his life and experiencing all these things I thought I would by this age,” Chloe looks out the kitchen window, twirling a spoon in her now cold mug of tea. Beca gathers she must’ve been there for quite a while now, because normally Chloe would never let her tea get cold. “Chlo, you are living your life. Just because you aren’t completing the guidebook of a stereotypical straight woman doesn’t mean your life isn’t good,” she manages to make Chloe at least smile with her insight. “I know I… I just thought my life would be different, I guess,” she shrugs, turning her gaze to meet Beca’s. There is an edge of something in her eyes that Beca hasn’t seen before. Sadness doesn’t suit Chloe, and neither does the tornado of emotions currently whirling in her stare, Beca is sure of it. “Are you happy now? With the Bellas, I mean;” what Beca wants to ask is if Chloe’s happy with her, but she decides against going too deep too early. “I am, yeah,” the answer comes out quickly and it seems to click something back to place inside Chloe’s mind. She still seems unsure, though. “Well there’s your answer. Look, dude, I know I’m not the best with all this emotional shit but what matters is that you’re happy and feel content with your own life. You still have life left to live and there’s no rush to get married or whatever it is that you want,” Beca shrugs, taking another long chug of her drink. “Who knew Beca Mitchell could give actually sensible life advice before six in the morning,” Chloe seems to get a part of herself back as she teases. Beca rolls her eyes, finishing the redbull in her hand with one last swig. (The normal cans are small, you can’t blame her.) She drops the can on the aisle and slides off the stool. “Remember to turn off your alarm so you don’t wake the others up,” she says in a form of goodbye. “Wait, can we go back to why you’re up at this time?” Chloe narrows her eyes and Beca can feel the intensity of the stare on her back. She turns her head and flashes a smile oddly similar to a toddler getting caught doing mischief. “Beca! What did I say about staying up the whole night?” the disappointed exclamation goes to deaf ears as Beca is already halfway up the stairs with her headphones firmly back in place. Chloe sighs and shakes her head, but a small smile forms on her lips. She really is in love with an idiot.

#pitch perfect #bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #writing #beca x chloe #bechloe fanfiction #pitch perfect fanfiction #bechloe week 2024 #bechloe fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3

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cloudninetonine · 2 years ago

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A Player's Aid: Chapter 11

Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe

A/N:....I'm just sorry OUYDBUDHD but also my tag list got lost, if you could please say if you'd like to be tagged in the comments! (I know I can look at previous chapters but I lost some new names and it would be easier to build from scratch so I have it HDOCDHJ)

Warnings: Foul language, descriptions of gore, violence and mentions of injuries

Enjoy!

The effect was immediate.

The sound of many boots against concrete was deafening and your vision blurred as Hyrule tugged you along, his grip still tight as you stumbled after the men in the direction of the castle.

The Hero's instinct is what you deduced, it’s what powered these boys. To jump so readily into action, unafraid of what was to come- these men had a mission to protect the people of Hyrule and you admired everything they did for them. Not even Wind flinched at the scream, didn't hesitate like the others as they raced away from the Sacred Ground, you tumbling along almost unable to keep up with Hyrule's speed (Jesus christ these fuckers were fast-)

You finally broke through the treeline to see the scene before you- horrid and bone-chilling as it played out.

A lone adventurer had seemed to be downed, blood running down a deep gash on their arm in rivers as they tried desperately to claw away from the behemoth of a creature, hissing and spitting towards them as it stalked closer, the giant skull on its back just as intimidating as its many eyes and snapping fangs.

Skulltula were always intimidating enemies in theory. Spiders were already scary, making them the size of a horse with a withering skull on their back, legs similar to knives and pincers dripping with what you could only guess to be venom only made them even more terrifying- you didn’t want to shame the Zelda graphics, but there was no way, from the deepest and darkest depths of hell they could even begin to bring justice to the creature that stood before you all.

"Not a fucking Skulltula…" You whispered in a blood-freezing horror, ducking behind Hyrule when it turned towards your group, seemingly hearing your words. "Christ on the cross, set it alight."

With another hiss, it dashed in your direction, your whole body locking up only for it to cry out in pain as an arrow landed right in one of its many eyes, the group dashing forward with Hyrule removing something from his pocket and pressing it into your hands: a dagger.

"Stay here." He held your cheek softly. "I'll be right back."

He turned towards Wild, situated in front.

"I've got them." The blonde reassured, sending him a knowing look. "Don't worry."

With a firm nod, Hyrule ran to the group sword at the ready with a pat on Wild’s shoulder, your eyes wide in awe as you watched him hurl a phantom red projection of his sword right at the gigantic monster, its shrill calls making you cringe.

As its wails pierced the air, you could vaguely see Sky raise the Master Sword with a calculating look on his face, an almost holy light climbing up the length of the sharpened blade until a familiar sound reached your ears and the hero slashed across the air, the sight of a skyward strike cutting through the lengths of grass and slicing one of its many legs clean off its body, the appendage flailing before disintegrating into dust as the monstrous bug got even louder.

Sickening to see this close.

"Stay behind me." It was a soft order but you weren't about to defy him, slightly ducking behind him as he continued to aim at the Skulltula, the men fighting valiantly. "I promise to keep you safe."

You dug your fingers gently into his tunic. "I know you will, no need for promises."

His ears fluttered subtly at the words.

Watching the guys fight up close was much better than watching from afar, you could have only imagined just how amazing the fight from the riverside bokoblin must have been- breathtaking would have been too small a word to use, there wasn't any word the dictionary that could begin to perfectly describe how the boys fought. Calling it a movie scene would have been underrated, no, it was an art piece even with something as pathetic as a Skulltula, these men looked as if they had just been plucked from the Renaissance itself and you almost went breathless as you continued to bear spectacle to the scene.

Their footwork, their swings, the looks on their faces- they were heroes alright, not a doubt in your mind would refute that. Wild's steeled gaze and the way he handled the bow were just so amazing to you, he was a professional of course but there was an energy about him, not the goofy wild man but the hero that bore the Triforce of Courage.

You were in the presence of some of the strongest men in the current world…

Twilight and Warriors had rushed over to the fallen victim while the others had continued with the battle, arm over each shoulder as they had hauled them further away with reassurances of safety, appearing close to your side as they fished into their bags for a potion to deal with their wounds. The gash on their arm was horrible but the apparent one on their side was worse, bleeding profusely and long, your stomach churning at the mere thought while Warriors called for their attention, deeming this “no place to die.”

…You weren’t about to see someone die, were you?

The idea sickened you to the core.

A cry echoed out as Hyrule used a nearby boulder to leap onto the back of the great beast, the shrill shrieks of the horse-sized spider bloodcurdling as the Hero raised his bejewelled sword and thrust it into its head, tainted blood gushing onto the grass below leaving a bloody mess.

Your heartbeat pounded in your own ears as the monster screamed.

A horrid sound, disgusting and gut-wrenching, you felt even more nauseous as you were able to hear the faint sound of a popping squelch as your hero dug the sword deeper and deeper, blood spurting onto his forest green tunic and catching some of the other boys also.

From your vantage point on that cliff, the destruction of these creatures wasn't something that had gotten to you but seeing this was way worse than your own imagination, no matter how majestic the men looked as they fought, this was still disturbing when the valiant filter was pushed aside. This wasn’t the pg-rated game any more, the one you would play for hours when you were younger, not a care in the world as you gathered the convenient drops- this was real life, these were real living things-

And this was real gore.

You gagged, hiding your face into Wild’s shoulder to force away the morbid curiosity as the other heroes continued to beat down the monster, its shrills engraining into your mind as one of the boys dealt the finishing blow.

(It had been Legend, watching Hyrule flail about as the Skulltula tried to rid him of its back, the man sliding down beneath the monster while digging his weapon into its stomach as he skidded against the grass, opening a mortal wound that had entrails spilling from its underbelly)

The familiar sound of a monster’s corpse poofing away was what brought you back, shyly peaking over Wild’s shoulder as you watched Legend stand, the stains of his tunic a gruesome eyesore that dusted away in the wind along with the smoke of dark magic that was once the Skulltula, Hyrule’s own caked clothes cleaning in a similar fashion until both were free of the thick, murky substance that was monster blood and huffing from the fight. The two looked at one another, conflicting feelings dancing on their faces until they nodded at one another, a sign of acknowledgement in their tense times.

You felt embarrassed at the shaky sigh you released, Wild looking back at you worriedly as you took a step back to compose yourself.

Why were you even scared? It’s not like you contributed to the fight in any way.

“Are you well?”

“Y-Yeah- yeah I’m good.”

His brows furrowed, his hand coming to hold yours. “You can talk to me.”

Your thumb gently danced over his knuckles. “It’s just…scary seeing them up so close.”

Cringing at his soft expression, your free hand moved to rub at the back of your neck.

“Monsters are a disturbing sight to many, you don’t need to be embarrassed for your reaction.”

“I know I just don’t like being some sort of damsel- I can’t fight but I’ve got enough sense to know how to protect myself and it just feels ridiculous and sad hiding behind you like some scared kid.”

It wasn’t a fault of yours, of course, especially in the presence of such skilled fighters it made sense but you couldn’t help it- you felt inferior, you felt weak, you hated having to hide behind your friend and you wished that you could at least stand beside him, a partner more of a cowering fool.

Wild hesitated, his mouth pursing in thought when both your attention drew to coughing close by, the presumed random traveller spluttering as the ranch hand and Captain pulled them into a seated position, the group circling her.

“Are you alright?” Twilight asked, a supporting hand on the person’s back. “Are you able to speak?”

“Yes.” The young woman coughed, covering her mouth with her arm, “Yes, thank you, I thought those moments would be my last.”

A shiver run down your back at the thought of something as hideous as a Skulltula being the last thing you saw before your body grew cold and stiff- would it eat you in that state? Could Skulltulas even eat?

“Do you know of what became of the people here?” Straight to the chase, Time leaned down to the level of the woman, face gentle similar to your shared first interaction, a show of support from such a traumatizing moment. “It was filled with many but now it lays barren.”

Her face curled in confusion. “You mean…you’re not here to help us?”

Your stomach dropped.

Help with what?

She continued. “The head of the people sent a bird not two days ago- we were attacked, by these things-”

“The Skulltula?”

“Yes- they came in every direction, there were so many, we couldn’t run so we held up in the castle-” Warriors rested his hand gently against their shoulder, a soft mutter of ‘breathe’ leaving his mouth as the person panted, her shaky breaths slowing in an effort to calm her racing heart. “There was an opening and I took it when no one had responded then I got caught by that monster- I- I thought you were responding to our call-”

Time’s face had hardened with each word, his scowl like his sharpened sword. His anger was evident, the lingering tension in his shoulders shown even under that heavy chest plate; you knew why, everyone did, it was very much obvious this was the work of the Shadow, predictable and vile, coming for the public like the coward he was to draw out the many heroes for his own gain and entertainment.

This was a trap.

And a very obvious trap.

And he dragged innocent civilians into this mess.

“Can you stand?”

The woman stumbled over herself before nodding, pushing to her full height with the help of the other elders.

“Good- leave to the nearest Inn, we will clear the castle.”

Your mouth dropped at the words, looking towards the towering Hyrule Castle in horror.

The whole thing!?

“T-The entire castle?! But that’s not possible!”

Not possible for most, but then again these were the Links you were talking about, heroes of the times- if they had fought against Ganon, Demon King and bringer of Darkness, of course, they could fight off a few Skulltula.

A few dozen sounded a bit of a stretch though.

“We’ll be fine.” There was a cocksure attitude to Warrior’s words, his smile confident and eyes sparkling with his fighting pride. “A few giant insects won’t be getting the best of us.”

Oh yes, he did sound very cocky indeed- you wondered if the woman was judging him silently from his tone, god knows you would have had you not known he was a great hero.

She tried to argue more, stumbling over her words and trying to reason however it reached deaf ears her stance slowly falling as the group began to discuss their next plans- Wild was the focal point of this, after all this was his home and he knew it like the back of his hand, planning a rescue mission was going to fall to him.

You studied her for a moment now that you could- pale skin, black hair and dark eyes, just a regular-looking adventurer who seemed to be caught on the wrong side of things.

Something felt…off though. Maybe it was just your skewered sense, or your simple wary nature after being thrown through a magic portal by a magic shadow.

It felt like one of those scenes in movies: discovering the wounded adventurer, aiding them in their time of need and watching as the hero lets them accompany them on their quest, after all, it’s not a hindrance right? Betrayal would usually follow, disguised by that weak damsel now shown to be their deceitful enemy this whole time, tearing apart the group by the seams and leaving them all to rot with nothing but a prideful cackle.

Yet, that was the work of fiction, this was real life (such a strange thought now that you pondered it) and so nothing like that would happen, right?

“Please, let me at least join you!”

…right?

Your eyes narrowed, watching the expression on her face then shifted to study the rest of the men, sharing uncertain glances with each other.

Did they feel a similar unease or did they simply want to keep this woman safe?

“I don’t think that’s for the best-”

“My family is in there! My friends too! I’m not just gonna sit by while they’re suffering!”

Any persuasion was met with refusal, the woman becoming only angrier with every second until Time let out a sigh, steeling his gaze as he looked down at the woman.

“Your name?”

She stood taller, “Maggie.”

“Do you even know how to handle a weapon that hangs off your hip?” This was a test, you could tell, the complete shift in his personality was a warning of sorts for what was to come- you would reasonably back down from such a hard look and you were positive that was what Time was trying to do. “Fought any monsters? Been in any battles?”

It didn’t work, as shown when Maggie glared right back. “I’m fully capable of taking care of myself.”

“Seems you can’t.” Legend quipped and Time sent him a scolding look, the pink-streaked blonde throwing his hands with a look of surrender. “I’m just saying we saved you.”

She flushed a deep red “I was by myself but if I’m with you guys I should have a chance- strength in numbers.”

Your eyes stayed trained on Time as he listened intently, the others sharing different glances with one another as they waited for their chosen leader to finalise his decision, your shoulders dropping when he sighed in defeat, dragging a hand down his tired face.

“....Maggie, I will be responsible for you if you venture back into this castle with us- so, you must stay close and not stray far, no matter what you see, is that understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good, we move now.”

“Old-” Twilight’s mouth snapped shut, eyes averting from the flaming ones of the eldest. “...”

With a sigh, the man backed off, whistling for Epona who perked up happily, trotting back over to the forest. "I'm not taking her in there."

And you couldn't blame him, not with the threat of something like Skulltulas lurking around the castle halls, Epona could be jumped without a second thought- but leaving her alone wasn't an option, someone had to watch her just in case, right? So taking Gilda gently from your hair, you gestured her over.

"It'll be safer for you with her."

She crossed her arms. "(Name), I've been in more fights than you."

"...Gilda please-"

"I'm just teasing! I'll keep an eye on her, you've already got your fairy by your side~"

Had Hyrule been in hearing range you knew he would have swiped at her, so you spared her a chuckle and watched her whizz off after the ranch hand with a shake of the head.

"Should have guessed these fairies were just as cheeky as the fae."

Time glanced back over to Maggie, gesturing her forward once Twilight had returned, adorned with weapon and shield. “I want you to lead us, if you were able to escape then there may be a good chance that it was a blindspot to the monsters.”

You didn’t trust this, not a single bit. Your radar was going haywire, your body pumping the adrenaline into every little crevice within your body, hands shaking as you watched Maggie take the lead, the others slowly but surely following behind her until you were trailing right at the back with your fingers tightly secured around the dagger Hyrule had only given you moments ago.

The traveller had rejoined your side in haste, eyes ahead as his hand came to grab your own protectively, Wild marching on your opposite with a similar protective sense hanging over him.

“He’s got a plan…”

Hyrule muttered more to himself than anyone but Wild wasn’t far behind with his scepticism.

“A dangerous one- thought that was supposed to be my job?” The comedic tilt in his voice did not aid you at all, Wild’s face pinching in worry at your expression. “We’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

You knew they would, they were your heroes and you knew they would do anything to keep you safe.

Yet something told you that it wasn’t going to be that simple.

~~~~~~~~~~

You wouldn’t say you suffered from arachnophobia. Sure, you weren’t a fan of the things, but not in a way to say you had a fear of them. They were certainly freaky looking, eight eyes, eight legs, could produce cobwebs and drunk the blood of flies and other such small insects- but a true fear of them was not what you had, nowhere near. You had seen someone with the phobia, their dropping jaws and the way they raced to the opposite side of the room-

To avoid the tiny money spider that hadn’t even gotten close to them.

That was true fear- that fear would have had them dying right on the spot at the sight before you at this very moment.

The webbing was huge, like sheer curtains decorating the old stone walls of the castle, the few egg sacs a disgusting sight as the men cleared them out, the many Walltula shrieking and spitting fiercely only to die by the steel of the heroes’ blades, monster smoke almost thick enough to choke on.

It was terrifying how quickly the monsters had seemingly taken over, not a place in sight was free of the streams of natural mesh, over the carpets, over the paintings, over the windows and in the doorways- suffocating was the best way to describe it all, especially from the number of times you had walked into the cobwebs, spitting and waving your arms in a horrid frantic boogie to be rid of the texture.

Wind could only laugh so many times.

“Shut the fuck up, Wind.” You had whispered harshly, patting down your tunic once again. “You’re only laughing because you’re too fucking short to get hit by them.”

He waved off your insult with another hushed laugh. “You just look so fucking stupid when you do that.”

You flipped him off, pushing your finger into his face harshly and jerking back when he tried to nip at the skin, calling him another colourful nickname in which he elbowed you painfully in the side.

Fucking hell he was strong for a fourteen-year-old.

"Just around this corner here." Maggie's voice brought you back in, focusing on her head between the many others.

The feeling still hadn’t gone away, not with you and certainly not with the others- you all knew you were walking right into a trap. The signs were evident to them all, a reason as to why Wind had been sent to the back with you three.

“The old man says as soon as anything sketchy happens he wants us to split!”

“Isn’t that dangerous? What if you guys get hurt?”

“Have some faith, (Name), we’re stronger than you make us out to be!”

You knew that- of course you did! Yet the threat still lay bare to the world. Skulltula were probably surrounding you at that very moment and it was clear that you could all be ambushed at any time, the further you walked into the castle, the deeper and darker it got only certainty grew in your brain that the upcoming fight would be inevitable if you were caught in a small corner.

That had to have crossed the old man’s mind, right? Under the blonde head of hair was a smart man, a calculating one so Time must have had a counteractive plan just up his armoured sleeve. He’d get everyone out of here, maybe with a few bumps and bruises, but you’d all come out of this ordeal alive and well with only a little major life-changing trauma- nothing you hadn’t gone through already.

The thought didn’t help though, not really without some partnering action, the weight on your shoulders only growing with each step you took, each room you passed, each corridor you turned into-

…You recognised this corridor.

Rebuilt and better than ever, with the help of the construction team and two years of passing, the winding path that lead to the Dining Hall was almost unrecognisable, the one you had trekked so many times when scouring the castle as you played. You wanted secrets, you wanted weapons and you wanted Korok seeds, if it meant having to lap the entire behemoth 100 times to get what you wanted you were ready to do it, you had practically memorised the route in game but it seemed the rebuilding of Hyrule Castle alongside the millions of cobwebs and the fact you were currently walking through its corridors had gotten in the way of your near photogenic memory of the place.

The archway to the armoury lay only a few feet ahead, along with the following path towards the library-

“The library’s this way, there should be some patrolling but we can easily get through them if we work together.”

The library….

There was a resounding click in your mind, footsteps stopping before they could meet the stone of the walkway, the dawn finally breaking in your mind.

It didn’t make sense- it didn’t make sense.

These hallways were always full, they were the main paths, why would she go through here when they were clearly the most dangerous routes?

Why did she take this way when she could have gone through-

“The secret passage.”

Pause.

You were staring, waiting, watching for that reaction.

And here it had finally come.

Time had been looking for an opportunity, and that had to be it, a broken piece within the glass that was her facade, once pristine and perfect, now so obviously cracked as Maggie finally paused just a few feet ahead of you all, the Chain having stopped when noticing your further figure.

You had given them all they needed.

“Pardon?”

It was cryptic in a way, horror and thriller running down your spine as your body shook with the adrenaline now running its course through your body as you readied yourself for what was bound to come.

“The secret passage, behind the bookcase.” There wasn’t a way they didn’t know about it, Wild had left it open for fuck’s sake, they had been rebuilding, it had to be common knowledge that Hyrule Castle had a secret passage. “In the library, why didn’t you just go through there?”

“I didn’t know there was one.”

Wild looked at you.

You looked at him.

He shook his head.

Liar- as expected.

“I really fucking doubt that.” The Chain had backed up to you quickly, quietly, aware that one false move would have broken the hypnotic spell your words had cast over them all. You licked your dry lips in an effort to stop the dryness from taking over your mouth. “How could you, as part of the restoration, not know about the secret passage in the library?”

“I’m not part of the team.”

Your voice was shaking. “S-So you just stayed ignorant about the place you were inhabiting for the past year or two? Not a single soul bothered to tell you about the cool secret passage in the library?”

“No.”

You grasped Wild’s hand frantically, terrified tears in your eyes.

“You’re a really bad fucking liar, Maggie.”

You could hear the grin in her voice. “I know.”

Weapons were pulled from sheaths, battle faces pulled sharp as you were quickly yanked once again behind them all, their stances deadly as they waited for something, anything that Maggie- whoever this was was about to bring down on you all.

“Are you with the Shadow?” Time called, a sneer on his face. “Or did you just crawl out from one of its portals like the rest of them?”

She laughed, still refusing to turn around as she did, her voice bouncing off the stones and echoing throughout the area- almost masking the rumbling footsteps that were quickly making their way to your direction, a quick glance back the way you had came showing a Skulltula quickly making its way towards you all- no, many were heading over and a quick glance in the opposite direction showed the same.

Fuck you were being cornered.

"Link."

One look and the circle drew tighter.

You were in real danger this time, weren’t you?

“I was just passing through,” Maggie’s voice was quick to change, sinister and cold, curling into this scratchy forced sound as if talking itself was a struggle. "Though I will say that Shadow of yours had an offer too tempting, so I thought why not?"

"And what offer did he give you?"

There was a snap, crack and following pop as Maggie finally turned, your stomach dropping at the body horror of her face expanding to form a snout, skin tearing away to reveal the blue fur beneath and murky gold tint taking over her face.

"The death of the Hero of Courage, of course."

Poof!

The cloud of magic saved you from the horrific scene of the monster’s full transfiguration, dark purple blocking your vision before the sound of flapping wings caught your attention, eyes widening in surprise as you watched the view return to you and replaced what was once Maggie, was a blue bat-like creature also similar to a keese.

"Ache?" You muttered in confusion, backing into Hyrule warily and feeling the man tense beneath you.

Not a common monster, not at all, the eyes of Ganon that hailed all the way from the traveller's timeline- they weren't impossibly hard to beat, well, depending on the Ache of course, a single hit usually was enough to have them out. But that's not what they were for, they weren't exactly fighting monsters, Ache's were pretty much spies for the other foul, grotesque beings, the ones watching for your hero closely so they could snatch him up and use him as a sacrifice for their master: Ganon.

The Ache was here for Hyrule, you knew that and so did Hyrule, so without another thought, you sidestepped to keep him out of its view.

It's the least you could have done.

Even if it was useless in this moment of time.

"I'm not really one for fighting." The creature cackled, hovering a little further away. "So I'll just let them deal with you- no need to worry though, I'll be back soon."

It swooped away into the armoury, just as another group of Skulltula came rounding the arch, their hisses and squeals like nails against a chalkboard.

Shields were up at the ready, swords poised and you, little old you, were in the middle with your dagger at the ready as if you knew the first thing about fighting.

"There's more than anticipated."

"Can we take this many black-blooded?"

"Who's to say they are black-blooded?"

"You think the Shadow wouldn't do that?"

"Enough- stand at the ready, do not break this circle."

The feeling had come back, but then again it hadn't gone away either, crawling up your back, poison seeping into your skin as you glanced around frantically for the feeling.

Something was watching you.

Not the heroes.

You.

Just, you.

And you knew that, because it was the exact same pair of eyes that had stared at you from atop that cliff the other day, menacing, cold and cruel, every dark intention you could think of rolling through your mind space. It wasn't the Chuchu back then, their googly eyes were never that evil, they could elicit a body-numbing reaction, but they could have never brought this kind of primal fear that laid deep into your stomach- not like that night after work had.

Dink was looking straight at you.

But from where? You couldn't see him through the bodies of monsters that the boys were fending off, nor in the Dining Hall, in the shadows of the dark corridor, hell, even the damn ceiling didn't have those red piercing eyes of his.

So where-

Fingers grasped your ankle firmly, nails practically piercing through the fabric and digging into the skin as a deep, breathy chuckle caught your ear through all the noise.

"Got you~"

You didn't have time to scream as you were dragged straight through the portal beneath your feet, catching a glimpse of the others turning in surprise, the feeling of a hand trying to grab yours, a possible scream- before your whole body had disappeared into the absolute black.

It took mere seconds to re-emerge from the inky abyss, spluttering and coughing for stolen breath where your body met the floor violently, cheek meeting the scratchy carpet beneath that tore at your poor, victim skin as you were dragged across the floor, a weird sound echoing through the room before you could take a small glance to see the portal vanish into nothing, leaving a stone wall in its place.

You looked at the area solemnly, wishing it would just open back up to you so you could jump back towards the boys, gut-churning with a violently sick feeling at the thought of looking back.

To make the situation real.

"Awh, are you scared, little guide?"

Yes.

Yes, you were.

#linked universe x reader #linked universe #lu #linked universe imagine #player au #a player's aid

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dysfunctionallygrey · 3 months ago

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Who the fuck was gonna tell me how gay all the units in pjsk are?!???

I got bored over the summer and decided to download pjsekai again (there's a story behind that but it's too long.) Before this, I knew like 3 things about it: 1. Its a rhythm game, 2. Also a gacha game 3. Emu Ootori. I haven't heard much of people talking about the story, but I did know a few ships (Ruikasa) and that a number of them would have queer ships. (what are you gonna do it's fandom)

I was not however, prepared for the sheer MAGNITUDE of ships and ship material.

Prepare for a long ass post underneath because if theres one thing I enjoy it's yappering. Also spoilers for a few main stories ig.

Jesus Christ what the hell miku why are you turning all the units gay.

I'm not much of a shipper but God, are homosexual tendencies like a requirement for a sekai?????? My god these bitches gay, good for them. And this is coming from someone who hasn't finished all the stories.

First of all More More Jump.

I'm not that big of a fan of Idol Groups but the Sapphic squad™ has really captured me.

I had to rub my eyes in disbelief for a moment everytime they interacted because

The MOMENT Shizuku and Airi walked in and opened their mouths my immediate reaction was: oh?

And then as the story went on i was like: Oh!

OH.

Suddenly my favorite Vocaloid song is Romeo and Cinderella.

THE WAY AIRI SAID HER NAME I CAN'T. THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SM "You're my Idol." IS THAT SLANG FOR I WANNA GET MARRIED TO YOU AND RUN OFF TO THE COUNTRYSIDE WITH TWO CATS THESE TWO ARE KILLING ME.

I was rendered speechless.

The only consisyent thing to come out of my mouth was "Oh."

Oh spelled backwards is Ho which is one half of Homo therefore the other half is Minori and Haruka.

And dont let me get STARTED on them.

I ddid a quick deep dive into both Shizuairi and MinoHaru.

Let me just say that Haruka was probably Minori's awakening. Actually that is my hc now Haruka was Minori's awakening thank you all goodnight I will be expecting my Nobel Prize tomorrow.

There is so much ship material between these two it is actually insane, PLUS all their cards????

I saw some clips of some event stories and damn. I know these aren't meant to be ship fodder but it is so damn easy to put this stuff through a shipping lens.

Speaking of Len

Vivid BAD Squad???

Not a single het person in sight.

I already had the AnHane tag open on a separate tab halfway through but the way I JUMPED to open the AkiToya one and I hate to invoke the lord's name thrice but Jesus H. Christ what in the hell

I had to open my phone and text my friend if I just witnessed a gay divorce in front of my very own eyes and she confirmed.

I couldn't even make a "girls are fightinggh" joke because my mouth was AGAPE.

OPEN.

AJAR.

The fly nearby was too distracted to come into my mouth because of what it just witnessed.

And Toya's Backstory.

Their Bond???

THEIR RECONCILIATION?????

It only needed to be outside and raining and I would've been SOLD.

The music. The emotion. The words. Akito's speech. GOD. It legitimately made me tear up.

And that marks number 4. I'm not religious anymore but there's smth about these gays that make me start shaking aggressively as if ridden with rabies.

Anyways

This iis getting too long.

I was originally gonna write smth abt AnHane too but that took also a hell ton of words.

And of course I had a few words to say about everyone's favorite gay clowns and no I'm not talking about your friend group I'm talking about Wonderland x Showtime.

I have yet to finish the n25 story. But judging from the overall tone and the look I feel like it's smth I would love.

Insert sentence about Leo/Need here.

Jk I actually love those girls Saki is one of my favs and I am in LOVE with Shiho's cover of Lost ones Weeping.

Part 2 sometime in the future

#akitoya #shizuairi #pjsk #project sekai #lesbian #Just like #more more jump #gay #homosexual #Like #vivid bad squad #God this si way too long #hi moots #And by moot I mean #You know who you are

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the-sixxth-sinner · 1 year ago

Text

Mask of Sanity

Aviable on AO3

Fandoms: Mötley Crüe

Characters: Nikki Sixx

Word count: 2.5k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Sex, drugs & violence; underage (implied) sex; non-con; exaggerated drug-induced psychosis. Proceed at own risk

Summary: Nikki goes batshit insane. Again.

A/N: I first started writing this around when I was reading American Psycho, which was like, back in April 2021? It was my first smut ever and it made me cringe with every word I wrote down lol but looking back at it now, I think I didn’t do that bad of a job. For this reason, in fact, I promised myself I would try to finish it, years later. In conclusion, if you can read this you’re very lucky

I wanted to imitate both Ellis and Nikki’s writing style with this, and i used nothing but sheer will, fantasy and a quick skimming of the heroin diaries as my resources (other than American Psycho itself of course), so if its not accurate or you think i could've wrote it in a different way please bear in mind that i will not accept criticism, constructive or otherwise, at this hour. thanks <3

Knock.

«Comin’» I enunciate from the other side of the room as I sniff up the last line of blow I put down on the bathroom’s counter.

It must be that chick the boys told me they’d send my way once they finished with her. I'm still not sure why I didn't want to join them in the fun... I told them I just wanted to be alone, have some peace and quiet. Yet, I’ve been pacing back and forth my hotel room the whole fucking time like a rabid mongrel in a rusty cage that is too small. I’ve downed maybe five Halcions with half of a JD bottle and a quarter of an eight-ball and it’s only 2 am. My brain feels like it’s running a hundred miles an hour and at the same time the outside world looks like it’s melting in slow motion just before my eyes. I'm starting to hear voices again. To hell with peace and quiet.

Knock knock.

«Ya, ya, I’m coming!» This is annoying. What’s the fucking rush?

I raise my head up taking a deep breath in. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, I try to relax my face muscles in order to not look like a complete lunatic. I exhale and roll my eyes; I give up: I don't think it’s working.

Knock.

Jesus Christ, do you want to get murdered?!

I move across the room with long strides. I feel my whole body jittery, my hands are shaking. I open the door abruptly.

«Is this… Are you...» The chick looks both surprised and shocked.

Shiiit, they fucked her up. She can’t stand straight without leaning on the door jamb, her voice is shaking, her makeup and hair is all ruined, her clothes half torn, her skin has been covered in bruises and God knows whose bodily fluids. She doesn’t look the age she wants to pass as.

«Sixx, yes.» I nod, cracking up the best smile that my mental state allows me.

She relaxes and clears her voice. «Tommy told me you were all alone, so… I thought I could pay you a visit» She smiles, raising the bottle of whiskey she had in her hand, trying to be as charming as possible. She gazes me up and down with her big shiny eyes. Rhinestone crystals drowned in alcohol.

I shrug. «I could use some company.» Thanks, T-Bone!

I wasn't planning to have anybody join me in my descent to madness, but something awakened in me as I glanced at this girl’s now ruined innocence. There's something so arousing about her desire to be completely destroyed and be a disappointment to her parents that I can't just back away.

I open the door wider to let her in. I check the hallway to make sure if there’s anybody else. «Are you alone?» I ask.

«I mean, like, I came here with Vicky but I think she either passed out or choked on Tommy’s cock? I don’t think there’s any point in waiting for her...» she blathers.

«Don’t worry,» I wrap my arm around her shoulders. «You’re gonna do just fine…»

The door closes behind us.

Cut.

I look at her as she strips in front of me, slowly, sensually, without breaking eye contact. Her movements are clumsy due to her drunkenness, but that’s what adds to her uninhibited charm.

My vision gets hazy all of a sudden, as I watch her dance in slow motion, probably looking like somewhere between mesmerized and fucking stoned out of my mind. Yet, I feel restless, and I start to feel the instinct to jump onto her like an animal with its prey.

I get up from the bed and pick her up by her bare waist in a swift movement, which made her yelp in surprise. I throw her back on the mattress, rip the rest of the rags off her body and start going down on her, gently pulling her labia apart with two fingers and sucking on her clitoris and licking her juices. The girl bucks up her hips and moans in pleasure. I position myself better on my knees, then I pull her closer to the edge of the bed, grabbing her by the waist and making her spread her legs more. I press my hands down on her thighs, hugging her lap, and I bury my face into her heat. I lap her pussy up and down, groaning like a dog in heat, thrusting my face into it, going from wide licks to tracing small circles around her clit and penetrating her with my tongue, sucking off all her fluids that are pouring out like a delicious fountain of youth. I feel her losing control of her body, thrusting her hips against my face as she moans louder and I go faster, until my jaw hurts and I remain completely breathless.

«Please… please please please keep going!» she begs.

I raise my gaze to her for a moment. I can hardly make out the silhouette of her biting her own fist. My mind is foggy, I can barely form coherent thoughts. But the whispers… Those are clear. I try to ignore them, concentrating on the task at hand of making her a slave to lust.

I bury my face between her legs once again, penetrating her with my fingers and tongue.

The girl’s moans and whimpers are slowly getting louder and higher in pitch, blending together with the voices in my head. I feel her getting tighter around my fingers, until she squirts all over my face.

«S-Sorry…» She murmured.

I stare at her for a few seconds. I let out a laugh, licking my lips.

I climb over her body. «Ready for round two, baby?» I whisper in her ear.

«Uh-huh…» She nodded.

Suddenly, I am hit with a wave of dizziness. My head is spinning and my fingers are tingling.

As I get up, I am met with a confused gaze.

«What are you…?»

«I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t move.» I winked at her.

I slam the bathroom door behind me, breathing heavily. I am sure I am about to throw up, but that satisfaction of vomiting your guts out never comes. I decide to take a line of zombie dust, so that if I do something awful to the girl, I won’t have the memory to regret it afterwards.

Cut.

I enter the bedroom, where the girl is still laying in bed. I grab the Jack I left on the bedside table, and take a good swig of it, feeling it burn inside my throat. I hand out the bottle to her, in a “You want some?” gesture. She gladly accepts.

«Have you ever done blow before?» I ask her, as I sit on the bed and she drinks.

The girl shakes her head.

My eyes widen. «Didn’t Tommy share with you?»

«Nope.»

«Well…» I get up, pulling a bag out of my pocket. «You’re in luck, ‘cause I’m feelin’ very generous!» I grinned. I want to ruin you so bad...

She gasped in joy. «You’re the best, Nikki!»

I quickly prepared two lines to sniff, one for each of us.

Cut.

I’m on top of her, fucking her tight pussy, grunting and panting like a beast. Her hands are all over me, and my back is covered in scratches. My mind is racing at a million thoughts per hour and I can’t grasp a single one of them. All I want in this moment is to fuck her, ruin her, use her, reduce her into a mindless sex toy for my own pleasure. I hear voices that I don’t know what they’re trying to tell me, I see shadows in the corner of my eyes that I don’t know what or who they belong to. Her moans are the only thing that snatch me back to reality, but soon even they become faint and the voices are more insistent.

I pull out.

The girl tosses a disappointed look at me, with languid eyes. «Nikki…» She stretches out her hand, trying to pull me closer. «Why did you stop…?»

With a jump so swift even I got surprised by my own mental alertness at that moment, I grab the girl by the jaw moving closer to her.

«Ask for it. Beg me. Say my name.» I demand grinding my teeth.

She swallows and has fear in her eyes. «Please. Please Nikki, please I beg of you» She lets out in a small voice.

I strengthen the grip, lifting her chin. I let out a beastly breath in her ear: «Not. Enough.»

She stares at me, her eyes wide in terror.

«I SAID NOT ENOUGH!» Nikki punched the girl with brutal force, making her scream in horror. He was breathing heavily, eyeballs out of the sockets in shock. A trickle of blood started running down the girl’s nostril. A drop of translucent fluid dropped on top of it. Nikki brought his hand to his face: it was his saliva. He was drooling like a rabid dog.

Nikki had his grip tight on her neck, and kept hitting her, making the blood flow on her face and her porcelain doll skin break, until her screams stopped.

Nikki let go of her throat, his breath short from the violent frenzy. He looked down at his trembling hands, the knuckles stained in red, then he looked at the girl. Admiring the bloody mess on her face, Nikki felt his whole body tingling with an undefined sensation: he had a rush of adrenaline, horror and ecstasy all at once, but he wasn’t completely sure if those were the right sensations, the right terms for what he was perceiving. The voices were getting clearer and louder, telling him to do horrible things to her.

Nikki touched himself, to then enter inside her, and began thrusting.

The girl was slowly coming to her senses and as soon as she noticed that Nikki was violating her, she started screaming, kicking and pushing Nikki away with her hands, who promptly blocked her mouth with one hand and pointed his switchblade knife at her throat with the other. «Shh-shh. You wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, trust me…» He whispered, with a smile that hid the devil.

Her eyes were filled with tears in supplication, her body paralyzed in fear.

Nikki forcefully pushed himself inside her. «You like that, huh?» The whole bed shook. Muffled sounds came out of her mouth. The blade touched her skin at every thrust. «You like being fucked by me until your insides hurt, don’t you?» He rammed once more and there were more suppressed cries.

He stopped for a moment and leaned closer to her: «Answer me.» Nikki breathed, baring his teeth. He pressed the knife against her jugular, cutting her skin. A trickle of blood streamed down her throat and chest.

The girl shook her head. Her whole body was trembling.

«Wrong answer.» He stabbed her in her stomach, making her cry in desperate pain like a wounded fawn.

Nikki traced a bloody line with the blade on her pale skin, stopping at the height of her heart. He could feel her breath accelerating more and more under his knife. He shot a glance at the girl, who had her eyes wide and pleading, with tears running down her cheeks, faint whimpers coming through her covered mouth.

«No one can hear you scream, you stupid slut.»

Nikki raised his armed hand.

The sound of the blade slicing through flesh.

A silent scream.

Blood gushing out of the girl’s breast.

Nikki pulled out the knife from the girl’s chest, and dug inside the wound. With the help of his switchblade, he ripped out her skin like fabric and then her heart, still pulsating, and observed it with fascination; he felt its warmth and weight in his hand and then he licked the blood dripping from the torn arteries. It tasted like death. Then, he dropped it to his knees.

Cut.

I wake up in the bathroom, with a massive headache and generally feeling like shit. I barely remember why I am here in the first place… I try to recall what happened a few hours before, but in vain. I take a glance at the toilet: it’s filled with vomit. Huh. Must’ve been a wild night. Getting up, I notice red stains all over the sink. What the hell…?

Suddenly, my heart is racing, my palms are sweating and I am scared to look at what’s behind the bathroom door, left ajar.

With a deep breath, I gather all the courage I have in my body, and I open the door.

Jesus Christ…

I slowly enter the trashed room, carefully, warily, like if there were landmines all over the pavement. There are red pentagrams and writings all over the walls. A real, human heart is taped at the head of the bed. Then, I see it: the body of a girl, lying lifeless on the mattress.

«What the hell… What the fucking hell!» I scream, recoiling against the wall, horrified at the realization of what I’ve done.

Knock knock knock.

«Sixx, get the fuck up! We have to leave in ten minutes!» Doc’s voice from the other side of the door made me have a fucking heart attack.

«Uh… Yeah, I’m coming, gimme a minute!» I try to sound as relaxed as possible but my heart is pounding in my throat and my voice is quivering. Just then, I realize my hands are still covered in blood. I quickly go to the sink to wash them, but they seem to never come clean. I come back to the bedroom, and I throw the windows open.

I need to get rid of this body.

I wrap the blood-stained bed sheets around the girl, almost throwing up from the anxiety and the smell and the guilt that are all eating me inside out like flesh-eating beetles. I pick the corpse up and bring it to one of the windows.

«I’m so sorry I did this to you.» I whisper, with tears in my eyes and a despaired tremble in my voice.

I throw the body out of the window.

I open the door of my hotel room and I am met with Doc’s stern gaze.

«You look like death. What happened?» He asks, squaring me off.

«Oh, nothing.» My eyes wander somewhere behind his shoulders. «Just a bad trip.»

I don’t think he bought it.

«Whatever, get your ass in the main hall.» Doc steps aside to let me come out of the room. «We have an important interview this morning: behave or I’ll send Fred to kill you.» He looks at me in the eyes, stressing the last words.

«Can’t promise anything.» I mumble.

«Excuse me?»

«I mean… Yessir.»

«Good boy.» He gives me a pat on the back and starts walking.

I follow him, glancing at the room one last time. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but I can’t shake off the sensation that someone is watching me behind my back.

#sinner writings #mötley crüe #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #mötley crüe fanfiction #motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #yes i have serious problems i know #and i am ready to have all the shit thrown at me for that #and i cant blame you. however. i have my reasons okay. and sometimes those reasons are hhhrrgghnnnh insane men covered in blood........#anyway to those who are as deranged as me: enjoy <3

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aki-draws-things · 1 year ago

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I know you’re busy with whumptober so get to this whenever- but! I need more ER nurse Jake, angst, or fluff, or insanity.

I can see is him being exhausted and falling asleep on everyone and getting passed around from shoulder to shoulder.

Short, but connected to the whumptober too... kind of "Hold My hand" , no I'm not sorry

Whumptober 2023~

Fandom: top gun

Characters: jake hangman seresin, Ron Slider Kerner (plus tom amd Chris)

Prompts: overcrowded er

Warning: cancer mention

Summary: it's a busy day at the er when Jake turns and finds his papa there. Obviously.

When Jake chose that career he knew his motivation went beyond having been inspired by uncle Lucas, it was what uncle called a calling. Almost in a religious kind of way. Jake, he said, was meant to do that, it was written since the instant he was born, and all the sort of things people would tell about spiritual callings.

Honestly, Jake simply wanted to help people, it was a physical need, nothing spiritual or shit.

The ER was a mess that day. Not a moment of peace, not a moment he could retreat himself to the bathroom for 5 seconds. Well, okay, he would pee later, that was fine.

"Seresin!" An older nurse called and Jake sighed. Jesus christ, he only took his phone out one second to check if there were any text, was she going to scold him for that?!

"Yeah, yeah... coming."

When he turned around Tata was there. Jake felt sick. He felt his stomach drop and--

"No. No jakey, nothing like that."

Tata always said he wore his feelings on hos face all the time, Jake knew what he probably looked like.

"We just thought an ER trip would've been safer, all considered, we were having a bit of a struggle to stop the bleeding."

Jake nodded and took a deep breath. He followed tom toward the chair papa was occupying. Papa who looked up and lit up at seeing Jake, like Jake used to do when he was little. Oh, how the tables had turned.

"Chickie don't listen to them, it's just a little cut." Jake nodded. He was tired and needed really bad that bathroom break, but that was papa and he had a cut in his hand and Jake didn't feel as tired anymore.

"But better be safe, yeah? Come, let's clean and cover it up."

Jake loved his job, he loved helping people, and maybe uncle Lucas was right, it was some sort of calling in the end. But one thing was helping and saving and fixing people he didn't know, another was taking his Papa's hand and disinfect and patch up a little cut that didn't want to stop bleeding.

"I should ring the oncologist on shift." Jake muttered and papa chuckled.

"For a cut? No, don't bother them, I'll see mine tomorrow morning anyway."

Jake held onto his hand a little longer. He could feel the bones, the skin frail under his fingers, breaking so easily, bleeding so much.

"They always said easy bleeding was a common side effect."

"You should've been more careful."

"I was, baby. It's just a little, cut, Dad and Tata panicked."

But not him, Jake realized not without a pang of sadness. Never him.

"I'll be fine."

Jake was about to say something when someone called him again. Jake swallowed and papa gave him a little push.

"Off you go, looks like we chose a busy night. Go, chickie."

With a sigh Jake pressed a kiss over his head and ron chuckled.

"Go."

"I'll take you to visit tomorrow, okay?"

Ron smiled and waved quietly as Jake run off again.

#whumptober 2023 #no.8 #overcrowded er #top gun #fic #cancer mention #nurse jake #sick ron #hold my hand #top gun fic #aki writes

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essayofthoughts · 2 months ago

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OK, so I know it was a long time ago, but you once called Tony Stark Stans virulent.

I agree.

So full disclosure I am far more of Bucky fan and don't care about Wanda all that much, however the way they try to blame Wanda for everything Tony does in AoU and after is something I can identify with.

Its actually very similar to how they victim-blame Bucky for everything that happens in Civil War when legit he was minding his own business not hurting anyone at all for 2 years before all hell broke loose due to Zemo. Also, the way they try and what Tony did to him in the final fight as a "normal human reaction" is just deeply disturbing. No. Beating him up, punching him, heck maybe even trying to shoot him once would have been a normal human reaction.

What Tony did was a brutal and vicious sustained attack lasting several minutes with multiple weapons and involved attacking Bucky when he was down and attacking from behind. (The kick to the face was especially nasty, since he was a) already down and b) was no actual threat. This is also an *unarmed man* who has to resort to hand-to-hand fighting whereas TOny is the equivalent of a flying tank and armed to the teeth.

I am sorry, but calling that a "normal human reaction" makes me think some of them might legitimately have psychotic tendencies.

To be absolutely fair to the Tony stans I do think that responding to the revelation of who killed your parents with anger and grief and a desire to lash out is a "normal human reaction". The difference lies in scale and capability - as you say, Tony's basically a flying tank, which means his capacity for retaliation is far beyond what most people have! And, further, Bucky is unarmed! Bucky is fleeing! Bucky has managed to live peacefully without hurting a soul since getting free of HYDRA until other people elect to fuck it up for him. Tony is very much directing his anger towards someone who is another victim of HYDRA's bullshit and taking that anger out on them and while that is understandable - who wouldn't be angry and upset in his situation? - the fact he is using all of his weaponry (after saying he won't sell weapons anymore, after seeing the horror they can commit, but it's okay, isn't it, if it's him wielding them?) and using them on a target who is themselves a victim and who is very clearly not wanting to fight back, who is unarmed, who is fleeing? That crosses every line.

But yeah - I'm a fan of Bucky too and the way he gets treated as a prop in a lot of Tonystan metas and works annoyed the hell out of me before I gave up MCU as a bad bet. The way the stans write WinterIron is just... jesus christ what is wrong with their perspective on the world? I also really hate how they try to claim that what Wanda did to Tony was just like what HYDRA did to Bucky which... no! Wanda in essence triggered Tony, but he had already been working on Ultron before! Bucky was brainwashed, mind-wiped and utterly controlled by HYDRA, and any time he objected "but... I knew him." they hit him and mindwiped him again! Bucky was given no freedom, Tony was hurt yes, but he was free to act on his fears, that was the point. Firstly that Tony be and bring about his own downfall, and Secondly that Tony is fully capable of doing that himself with very little cause. If Tony went through therapy and learned to recognise when he was feeling provoked or triggered, to take a deep breath and think things through, would he have used the sceptre behind the team's back to make Ultron? Signs point to Significantly less likely.

It's this very particular thing you see in a lot of fandom spaces where one character is picked as the Blorbo Who Can Do No Wrong, and so their agency gets denied at every turn. Every bad thing that happened? That's someone else's fault. Someone else made them do it, the Blorbo would never do anything like that on their own.

And... it's incredibly boring! It's also incredibly childish and a really infantile approach to fiction. Part of why I like both Wanda and Bucky is that both of them are fully capable of doing bad, even terrible things, be that under their own power or when influenced by others - and both have the capacity to feel terrible for it! Bucky keeps to himself and hides and does his best to avoid hurting people again! Wanda has a whole panic attack and needs a pep talk to believe she can fight to right the wrongs she committed, and we don't see her play around in minds much after AOU! Both of these people learn things - about themselves and about others - that cause them to change and grow, meanwhile Tony is stuck in his character roundabout, repeating the same cycle, never growing, and his fans look at this infantile writing and go "... PEAK".

Anyway thanks for this ask! That meta is years old at this point but I'm glad it's still making the rounds and hitting a chord with people!

#mcu meta #bucky barnes #tragicfantasy-girl #ask

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pistachi0art · 11 months ago

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Man I'm going to be real, the amount of people that I've seen become royally pissed at RTVS in the tags-- and even sending death threats and shit apparently??-- is so absurd.

The way both ends of the argument are treating each other is... well. Fandom's gonna fandom I guess, infighting sucks but it happens for the most absurd of reasons, 'tis the course of it all. I still wish they'd treat each other with respect, though. At the end of the day we're all here together to enjoy silly goofy characters and the kind people who play them, this should NOT be so deep.

But at the same time like-- people being THAT livid over a double bait-and-switch? A goofy silly GMod RP of Breaking Bad, and being cruel and hateful toward the actual CREW? Who are still living people and folks that deserve respect and kindness? Bonkers. Rancid behavior. Log off and take a hike man, you're (the assholes being weird to RTVS) being parasocial as HELL.

Wild night dude. I think everyone going through what happened should get a “I survived the not HL2VRAI stream Tumblr War of 2023” because I was exhausted after all that yesterday.

Like- Jesus Christ some people were overreacting about like- nothing. And then just to that, they then did a 180° turn the moment HL2VRAI’s trailer dropped, which still feels super scummy. I loved the stream! It’s a shame others are treating it like nothing for the ending.

I really wanna see more apologies from the ppl who acted like that, but I hope for too much ig.

As for the ppl telling others to KILL THEMSELVES- yeah please sit on that and unfollow me immediately.

And for HL2VRAI 2024/2025- um I think everyone who was bitching yesterday about “RTVS lying to them” needs to stay off the site when that drops. Forever.

YEAH! Be disappointed or laugh or whatever! idk how to end this

#small things #uuuugh #ask reply?#not really

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 7 months ago

Text

I have full executive authority to modify my text posts for another audience - to express the exact same sentiment but in words that the new audience will understand. To translate, if you will, from "broad and unknown Tumblr audience" who speak the Tumblr lingo and dialect and who could be literally anybody, to "close family with a humongous bunch of shared experience and similar language to talk about them," who share my worldview and understand what I'm saying without getting offended by a caveat I forgot to include or a specification or detail that I thought was unnecessary. (E.g. on Tumblr I might say "my friend X", but to family I'd just say "X")

Translation from one to the other, and vice versa, is necessary for both clarity and brevity. Different audiences require different approaches.

Tumblr audience might have sentences providing caveats or clarity or introduction to a concept that the family audience already knows or doesn't need. For brevity, I would cut those out, but I might also add sentences to help with transition or to aid in pacing of the ideas, concepts, or story. (This also goes for fic; is the fic for fans only or is it friendly to fandom-blind readers? Same story, told in slightly different words sometimes.)

But they are still my words and all those words remain as true as they were in the original form (assuming I didn't decide to lie to one group). In fact, if somebody had access to both versions (and understood both), they could see more of my mind, heart, and will than otherwise; for example, my willingness to even do such a thing as translating or providing two different versions. A family member who forgot my relation to X might be reassured by the label "friend" when describing her. (It might also mean a lot to the friend, if she read both accounts.) It always helps to see further caveats, examples, side notes, details, or even just different phrasing that I thought would help one group's perspective but wouldn't be too useful for the other unless they were doing a deeper study of my words, for whatever reason.

Now if I DID decide to lie, of course, you can't believe either version (or any new one I came up with), because now I'm a liar and you can't trust anything at all. But assuming I'm not a liar (and nobody has messed with my words, or it's not an outright faked screenshot or deep fake or whatever) - assuming I am truthful and you trust me (and/or my messenger), you can learn a lot from the differences of how I convey the same idea.

Between the two versions I might also do things like update typos or accidental occurrences of misgendering, clarify grammar, institute proper capitalization, and so on.

It makes me think of a post I saw once about the differences between Hunger Games books and movies; how the books tell a story of how awful war is to kids, and how awful the capitol is to make them have a love triangle to survive, and how awful it is for them to sit back and watch it as entertainment. And how the movies have us sit back and be entertained while children have a love triangle and fight each other. It seems like a classic case of "movies butchered the books," but the author was actually involved in and had quite some say in the production of the movie. Looking at them, they both together tell a more powerful story than otherwise. I'll see if I can find that post because it was a JOURNEY.

Anyway. The author has ultimate authority to translate their work to different audiences, with different emphases and details, whether the work is a Tumblr text post or an essay or verbally telling a friend what happened to me today.

Same goes for the Lord Jesus Christ, the word of God (John 1). (For one thing, translating God Himself into human form while preserving his divinity? Major translation skills there.)

The four gospels are an example of this; Matthew, for example, is addressed primarily to the Jews and includes many extra details, adding things like "BTW this was in fulfillment of XYZ prophecy" and including the genealogy through David and all like that. Luke is written by a Gentile to Gentiles, and tells similar stories but often with different details.

Only one gospel mentions that when Jesus fed the five thousand, it was at evening; only one mentions that it was a little boy who had the five loaves and two fishes; when Jesus asks a disciple what they're going to do, only one gospel mentions that Jesus said it "to try him."

John is far more focused on Jesus' divine nature, including many stories not included in the others. Different details, different emphases, different audiences, although ultimately, all four are available to us who have lived after the first century AD.

The gospels also show off another aspect of the author having final authority to translate while still being pure, truthful, and accurate: quotations from the Old Testament.

The OT was written in Hebrew. Jesus reads from a Greek translation and calls it Scripture. (I.e. equally as inspired as the original.) The apostles and writers of the New Testament often do likewise.

The same can be true of other translations as well. Translations into Latin, into German, into French, into Old English, into Early Modern English... God is the master of language. He created it, after all. Jesus is the word. All Scripture is inspired and profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for instruction in righteousness...

But only the author has that authority. If I tell my sister one thing and she tells my friend something in anything other than my own words, it may still be true; but it's slightly less true than my own words. Hopefully, usually the difference is negligible, but in a contest, anything I've ever said or written on the topic is more accurate than what somebody else said.

Hence, if there's something strange about the story my sister tells, my friend would do well to take it with a grain of salt (or more than one, if she knows I have a bad relationship with my sister.) If not, this can pass from one to another like a game of telephone until it devolves into gossip that's wholly untrue, outright malicious, etc.

I and only I retain the right to point to two different versions of my words and say both are equally true. My sister can't say "her words and mine are equal" unless she was there, and even then, any differences would be down to her own different perspective (and level of honesty), not mine.

You never know when somebody might embellish a Bible translation. I hear Satan has quite the interest in perverting God's words (just see Genesis 3). Compare your translation carefully with both itself and others.

On that note, let me share some comparisons to get you started.

One of them has to be wrong. What do you think?

#Bible #Kjv #Kjv-only #Christianity

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idabbleincrazy · 11 months ago

Text

Never a Wish Better Than This Ch. 4

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: E

Pairing: Clex

Word Count: 3760

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, masturbation, foreplay, rimming, anal play, oral, deep throating, face fucking

Summary: time for a little show and tell

A/N: look who finally got to the smut! at least one more chapter coming, maybe more. and i've a feeling this will lead to a series that rewrites the tail-end of s4 and probably going into s5.

Lex's POV:

Christ, he's beautiful like this. The urge to see him keeps my eyes from staying closed as I kiss him like his saliva is quenching the thirst I felt back on that island. And, I know I'm babbling again, words bitten out in harsh whispers between licks into that supple, pliant mouth, but I don't give a damn. I've wanted this for so long, dreamed of this a thousand different ways, and the reality is so much more than I ever could've prepared for.

Hearing he was jealous of Victoria, of Desiree, of Helen, of all the flirtations and dalliances in-between, made me harder than I've been all night. That he had had feelings for me, just about as long as I'd had feelings for him…that he's been thinking about this for so long…

"Tell me", I husk out against his lips. "Tell me what you think about, what you imagine when you're alone at night, up there in the privacy of that loft. Wanna hear what you jerk off to, Clark. Tell me."

And I do want to hear it, now that I know I'm in those fantasies. I hear him gasp at the request, his hips bucking up into mine. He's as hard as I am, I can feel it through all the layers between us, and I can't hold back a groan.

"Shit."

Why is it so inexplicably hot to hear Clark curse? To know I've finally made him use his big boy words. Wanna hear more of those words that would probably make him blush again if he weren't already too hard to care.

"Tell me."

"'K, yeah…Christ, which do you wanna start with? What I imagine doing to you, or what I imagine you doing to me? Or, what I picture when I think of you, all alone in this huge-ass mansion, and how you might look when you jerk-off? So much to choose from, Lex, tell me where to start."

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! Maybe it was a bad idea, after all, asking him to give details…might not last to actually play out either of our imaginings. I'll give it a valiant fucking effort, though. Luthor image to maintain here. And then, the idea pops into my head, a way to get us both some relief, without embarrassment; I've no doubt his teenage libido will have him ready for another go in no time, and my own refractory period is still a testament to my youth.

Giving Clark one more hard kiss, I force myself off his lap, my cock twitching at the grunt of loss he makes, his hands reaching for me as I twist away and sprawl myself across the other side of the bed.

"Tell me what you imagine me doing when I'm on my own, Clark. Tell me, and I'll show you it, exactly as you describe." I turn my head towards him, taking in the look of aroused surprise on his face. Pupils so blown, there's barely a thin ring of sparkling green around them. "Oh, and Clark? Feel free to touch yourself while you talk."

Clark's POV:

Jesus Christ, I'm so turned on right now, I can barely think, and he wants me to talk? To tell him what I picture him doing to himself? My cock is aching against the zipper of my jeans, and I can feel all the words I never say aloud coating my tongue, trying to force themselves past my lips. Have to remind myself that I'm an adult now, those words are no longer forbidden. Need to try one out, see if it gets the same reaction as the first…

"Fuck, Lex." And, oh, yeah, his eyes flutter closed for a second, like he's savoring the sound of my voice saying those two words. Like he knows that's exactly what I want, to fuck Lex. "God, when I picture you, alone, hard, and so fucking needy…sometimes, you're in your office, but sometimes, you're in your bed, spread out just like now. Not ready for sleep yet, so you're still wearing clothes. But not for long."

"Good."

Can't help a chuckle at that, at his eagerness to be naked for me.

"You like to tease yourself, in my mind, so you do it slowly, unbuttoning your shirt one at a time." Except he's not wearing a button-up this time, so he improvises, lifting the hem of his shirt up, little by little, baring an ever-widening strip of pale flesh to my gaze. "Yeah, such a tease, Lex, just like always."

He slides the shirt up, up and further still, my eyes taking in each inch of revealed flesh. His belly button, that I just wanna lick into. Subtle abs I want to trace over with lips and teeth. And nipples, pink little nubs that I ache to bite at, tease them into hardness. God, he's beautiful.

"Take it off, Lex."

He lets out a moan at the firm command and immediately complies; I file that away for later contemplation. The shirt flies over at me and there's a smirk playing on his lips as I catch it with a low growl.

"I don't recall saying that you're in a playful mood right now."

He merely shrugs and stretches back out against the sheets, his hands stroking along the comforter, head nestled into the pillow. I look over the long planes of skin revealed to me, and get the sense that he's preening. I bite back a groan and get back to the task.

"When I think of you like this, once your shirt is off, you start toying with yourself, like you're seeing how much you can take, how long you can wait until it's too much." Lex takes a little initiative and strokes a hand along the side closest to me, long, thin fingers sweeping up his torso. "Sometimes, you let out this sexy moan of need, and start plucking at your nipples, tugging at them, makin' 'em all pretty and perky. Yeah, like that, all flushed and waiting for teeth to sink right into them."

Another moan, unbidden, escapes that kiss-reddened mouth of his, and I have to cup myself, squeeze my dick to stop from losing control.

"Clark…"

"Yeah, you do that in my head, too. Call out my name so fucking needy like that. One hand twisting at your tits", and Christ, when did my tongue become so bold, "the other slipping down your stomach, teasing along the waistband of your pants, fingers dipping just under it."

My hand rubs at my groin as I watch him follow my instructions, his neck arching back, soft sounds of pleasure falling from his lips almost constantly. I can feel heat starting to rise behind my eyes, and I hurry to tamp it down. He's not even completely naked yet, and already my control is straining.

"You unbuckle your belt, open your pants, just a little, just enough to relieve the pressure some." He does, and I'm not surprised to see he's not wearing anything under the slacks; I am surprised by the sparse layer of red hairs there. Arms, armpits, and chest, so far he's been completely hairless, so the change is a little shocking. "Sl-slipping your hand inside, you give yourself a short stroke, just a taste of what you want, and you can't help but buck up into it. Always so fucking hot when you do that."

He does, and I can see how it pains him to rein in his need, to not just keep stroking till he comes.

"Oh, God, Clark…baby, please."

I gasp at the pet name, surprisingly aroused at him calling me anything other than Clark, or Kent. I like it more than I thought I would.

"You keep it up though, teasing your nipples, other hand only stroking down your aching cock", loud, drawn-out moan from that, "every minute or so, never enough, until you're squirming against the sheets, like you're trying to get away from the torture. Only then, when you're so hard you can't stand it, only then do you slip off your pants."

Lex groans loudly in relief and scrabbles to hurry out of his slacks, kicking them carelessly off the bed and flopping back against the mattress. His legs are spread, knees bent and feet braced against the bed, and I scoot over to the end of the bed, facing him, taking it all in. He's completely open to me like this, his long cock hard, pointing up towards his stomach and leaking, the head red and painful looking. The base is surrounded by a thin sprinkling of the fine red hairs, same as his balls below it. I can just see the curve of his ass, the shadowed crevice that hides the spot I want to bury myself in. His legs, like the rest of him, are hairless, sleek and pale, deceptively lean, and I can see the powerful muscles in his thighs clench as he shifts slightly under my scrutiny. I wanna touch him, want to taste him. But I resist, and continue the game, my voice huskier than I've heard it even in the back alleys and clubs of Metropolis.

"You stroke yourself more steadily, now, your other hand sliding down to cup your balls, rolling them. My name falls from your lips again, not quite begging, not yet, but still so sweet." It does, and it is. He's scooted further up the bed, to brace his back against the headboard, legs still spread, and my eyes flicker between the motion of his hands and the wanton look on his face. And, dammit, I've got to stop reading Lois' trashy romance novels, I shouldn't even know that word. "That's it, Lex, just like that. This, this is when you start to imagine me there, kneeling just like this, in front of you, just out of reach. In your head, I find you too hot, too much, and I just sit there staring, watching you pleasure yourself. I won't touch without being asked, and you don't ask yet, but you want to see me, too, so like a good little fantasy-Clark, a blink of your eyes and my shirt is gone."

I super-speed out of my shirt before he can even follow through on the order, my chest bare before his eyes flutter all the way shut. His hands stutter in their rhythm for a beat, a gasp followed by a low groan as he roves his gaze over me.

"Don't stop, don't speed up. You never speed up, not yet, not till you see everything." My hands are on my jeans now, fingers slowly undoing the button, slipping the zipper down, tooth by tooth. Oh, God, he whimpered. My dick is throbbing now, and I'm afraid to even touch it enough to pull it out of my boxers, don't wanna go off before I see him come for me. It's a close call, and his responding hungry growl at the sight of my cock nearly 'causes me to set the curtains on fire, but I bite my lip hard and manage, barely. "You keep stroking as you watch me watching you, your other hand drifting down, between your legs. You tease yourself there for a minute, your fingertip just circling 'round the rim. You see my eyes glued to where your finger is hidden, hear the groan of need, and know what I want. And you give it to me, spread yourself open more, so I can see all of you."

The hand around his shaft grips tightly at the base, but he does as bidden, gripping just beneath a thigh to part those pert cheeks, revealing the perfect pucker hidden between them. It clenches and unclenches as I stare, and I can just see his hand resume pumping out of the corner of my eye. Want him. Wanna touch and taste and feel.

"You're so close now, and I haven't even touched you yet. And you want it now, want me to come closer, wanna feel my hands replace yours, feel my mouth on you. You always want it, now, and that's when you beg."

That's all the permission he needs, and the babble turns back on, everything spilling out that he's kept in so far, his hand slowing again.

"Clark, please. I want it, baby, I do. Christ, so much. So fucking hot, Clark, hearing you talk like this…didn't know you had it in you. Fuck, baby, touch me, suck me, anything…want your sweet fucking mouth, those strong fucking hands…c'mon, Clark, show me, show me how it happens in your fantasy. What that Clark does to that Lex. Show me."

Lex's POV:

And he does. Oh, God, he does. His clothes are gone completely in a blur and he's kneeling between my wide-spread legs. Jesus, he's gorgeous, all golden skin and sweeping planes of hard muscle. And that cock…fuck, that cock…knew he'd be big, but like everything else about him, it exceeds expectations. At least two inches longer than mine, and thicker than I think I've ever seen outside of porn. Uncut, too, the foreskin nearly completely retracted from the ruddy, leaking head.

I lose track of taking inventory of his enticing figure as his hand replaces mine on my cock. Can't help the cry of surprise as his warm fingers grip almost painfully tight around the shaft, starting a slow, firm stroke, his thumb swiping over the slit, smearing the pre-cum that bubbles up anew under his ministrations.

"Oh, baby…yeah, touch me, please, taste me."

He smirks up at me, and oh, I've awoken a monster; that wolfish twist has never played along those plump lips for me before. His eyes lock on mine as he lowers his head, his tongue flicking out to rasp over the head of my cock.

"Fuck!"

"Soon, Lex. Soon."

I bark out a shaky laugh at his very un-Clark-like tease, the sound turning into a groan as he licks me again, swirling his tongue around the tip, collecting the fresh drops of pre-cum with a hum of pleasure. He's still fisting me slowly, his other hand sliding up my thigh and over, cupping my balls, squeezing them gently between thick fingers. I try to buck up into his mouth as he teases, but he pulls away, turning his head to press hot kisses to the juncture where thigh meets hip. I did not just whimper?! God, I haven't felt this much of a needy slut since my teen years, when I was just learning all the pleasures to be had, but I can't help it, don't even want to hold back the sounds anymore, not when he so obviously enjoys it.

Clark gives a quick nip to my inner thigh, and dips his head again, but not to my cock. I feel the slick wet of that devious muscle lave over my tightening sac, and down, over the sensitive strip of skin beneath my balls. His shoulders nudge my legs wider as he goes lower still, his tongue slipping down between my cheeks. As I feel him lick over my twitching hole, it's all I can do not to cum, a sharp cry falling from my lips as I writhe beneath him.

Had I really thought him to be so innocent? Where is that shy, virginal farmboy now, and who is this confident young man working his mouth over that most private of places? A flash of jealousy jolts through me at the thought of Clark doing these things with other people, learning just how to touch and tease someone so perfectly. The tip of his tongue breaches me, driving out any thoughts of envy, leaving only the need for him. I thrust down as much as I can, taking him in further, knowing neither of us will sleep tonight until it's his cock pushing into me and shattering me into pieces like this.

"Oh, God, Clark! Fuck, baby, yeah, like that…just like that. Christ, this what you picture, Kent? Huh? Me begging for it, aching for it, fucking myself on your tongue? So fucking hot, Clark. Holy shit, baby…gonna make cum like this, so close, Clark, so fucking close…"

I feel myself open for him, feel his thumb tugging at my rim as he pierces me with his tongue, a slow, steady rhythm of thrusting that matches his strokes on my throbbing cock. He presses in deeper, and I lose it, cock spurting its load in body-racking pulses as his tongue presses against my prostate. I think I'm screaming his name, can't tell from the haze of pleasure stuffing my ears like cotton. And then my mouth is covered by his, the dark taste of myself on his tongue making me shudder out another spurt of cum as I somehow manage to wrap my arms around him, clutching him close.

His thumb is still there, dipping in and circling around, bringing me down slowly from this unexpected high, his other, cum-sticky, hand soothing lightly along my side. He's murmuring wordlessly against my mouth, and I will my brain to turn back on, knowing there's still so much more to do; he hasn't cum yet, and I want to touch, to taste, to see him fall apart for me the way I just did. To show him a little of what I imagine when I'm alone and thinking of him.

His hand is gone from between my legs now, his fingers trailing through the puddle of cum on my stomach. I feel my cock twitch in renewing interest as he raises them to his mouth, licking away the sticky drops and letting his eyes flutter closed at the taste of me. As he enjoys himself, I gather my wits enough to turn us over, pushing him onto his back and quickly sliding down his broad, hard body, to settle between his legs. Looking over him, I promise to take my time on the next go, but the sight of his reddened leaking cock is proof enough that he probably won't mind quick and dirty right now.

"Lex?"

"Wanna taste you, Clark. Wanna show you part of one of my own fantasies. That okay, baby?"

"Fuck…yeah. Do it, show me."

Flashing him a devilish smirk of my own, I waste no time in swallowing him down. I want him hot and heavy in my mouth, filling my throat like I want him filling me elsewhere later.

"Oh, my God, Lex! Jesus Christ, so good." My eyes flick up to him and his head is thrown back against the pillow. I can tell he's holding back, not wanting to hurt me by thrusting, his hands clenching the sheets. I swallow around the thick length, earning a restrained buck of hips. "Fuck, Lex, baby, not gonna last, too good."

I want to see him undone, so I grab one of his hands and guide it to my head, moaning around him at the feel of that huge paw sliding over my scalp. He forces his eyes open, looking at me like he's asking permission, and I grant it with a slow blink and another swallow.

"Oh, fuck, Lex…thank you…", he groans out, understanding, giving in.

He doesn't push against my head, just holds me steady, and I let my hands slide under him, gripping handfuls of the firm globes of his ass as he bucks up into me. I let my throat go lax, letting him fuck my mouth, and I know my voice will be raw and raspy later, a reminder of this.

He's babbling now, broken sentences of wonder and praise, and I feel a surge of pride at being able to reduce him back to the bumbling boy I fell in love with. I squeeze the cheeks of his ass, urging him faster as he gets closer, wanting him to spill. I let my tongue work at whatever part of the huge cock stretching my jaw I can as he slides in and out of my throat, the round head pressing against my esophagus as I will my body not to gag; it's been so long since I've deep throated anyone, and never one this big, it's probably only through the sheer force of my desire that I manage at all.

A clench of his hand on the back of my head and a stilted cry of pleasure is all the warning I receive before he buries himself deeply, his cock pulsing against my tongue as he cums. I pull back slightly, catching the last few spurts on my tongue as I suck around the head of his cock, savoring the salty, heady taste of him before swallowing it down with a satisfied hum. Slightly thicker than I'm used to, but not bad, just apparently a different consistency than human semen. The scientist in me can't help but catalog the difference, file it away for later consideration. If I weren't so worried of anyone else getting ahold of his DNA, I'd probably save some to put under a microscope, just for personal edification.

I suck at him, drawing every drop I can, until he pushes lightly at my head, his cock no doubt sensitive after such a release. I let the half-hard length slip from my mouth as I kneel back up, licking my lips for any spilled seed.

"Knew you'd taste good, Farmboy. Like fresh churned butter."

Clark stutters a breathless laugh, shaking his head incredulously and I just smirk back at him. He pulls me up his body, draping me over him, and pulls my head down for a deep, tender kiss. He lets out a soft moan as he licks at my tongue, his cock twitching against my stomach, obviously enjoying what he tastes.

Breaking the kiss gently, I roll us onto our sides. He cups my face, his thumb swooping along the line of my cheekbone, and I arch an eyebrow at him. For someone obviously experienced enough to rim me without hesitation, there's certainly an odd look of wonder on his face.

"You're amazing, Lex", he voices an answer to my unspoken question.

Letting my hand drop between us to feather my fingers along his reawakening cock, I let my lips twist into my teasing smirk. He lets out a hiss, bucking into the light touch. God, he's magnificent like this, and he's not even fully fucked-out yet. But he will be. Leaning forward, I kiss my way along his jaw, nipping at his earlobe.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, Spaceboy."

******

@leatafandom

#clex fic #smallville fic #lemon

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groundcontrol21 · 2 years ago

Text

Sneezecret Santa Post!! 🎄🎉

So I took part in the Secret Santa exchange orchestrated by the illustrious and wonderful @softsnzstuff . I wrote for an anonymous snz fan. Anon, I unfortunately was very unaware of the fandoms you like, but since you also like character A/B/C stories, here's one of those! I tried to make it extra heaping on the fluff for you 🎅🎄Happy reading!

A pushes the front door shut, and it barely clicks on its hinges before they are bending forward with a harsh sneeze. They groan, fishing in the pocket of their trousers, their voice rough and gravelly.

"I... I'm so stuffed up. Jesus,” they moan, loudly but to no one in particular. A’s breath hitches, and they bury their face in the crumpled wad of tissues as they sneeze again and again. Once they’ve finished clearing the worst from their sinuses for the moment, they blink away the rheum in their eyes and realize, that’s right, they’re spending the night at B’s flat tonight instead of their own. The light is on, and the television is whirring softly. The flat’s, well, not-emptiness is just as healing as any medicine.

"I... I'm home,” A calls hoarsely, then adds a mumbled, “Finally.” Their breath hitches again, sending them back to the tissue wad. “Oh this cold—my head's stuffed to the brim..."

Their partner, B, looks up from where they lounge, crocheting on the couch. Their brow furrows in concern. “I guess I shouldn’t even ask how your day was?”

A snorts, then sniffles and rubs their nose with the back of their wrist. "I... it was fine. I guess.” They sigh. “Just had a lot of students come in with colds, so I'm not surprised I got it, too.”

A sniffle and a sneeze catch them roughly off guard. “Oh, man,” A mutters. They sneeze and cough again, rubbing at the ache in their throat. Not surprised, given the colds making the rounds at the university where they lecture, but certainly not happy about it, either. They swallow thickly. “How’s the crochet coming along?”

Something about the way the swallow grated so raw against their sore throat made tears spring to A’s eyes, and they sniffle and wipe them away.

B looks up with a playful smile. “Does it really look that bad?”

A runs a hand along the length of their face, even as an exhausted smile shows through. “Of course not,” they say emphatically, even though they both know B was joking. A has always been impressed by their partner’s hobby; something about the intricate work is so mesmerizing, even calming.

A sniffles again. “I'm just so stuffed up it feels like someone dumped a bunch of cement up there." They tap their aching, swollen sinuses for proof, trying and failing for a deep inhale through their nose. "I... I can't breathe. Feels like my brain's swelling and... God, this is terrible."

B pats the couch cushion beside them, moving aside the ball of yarn. “Why don’t you sit down and watch me, hmm? I know how much you like it.”

At the thought of resting their aching body after a day of lecturing, A moans with such relief it sends a shiver coursing through them. "Mmm—Oh, please..." They shuffle over to the couch and slowly lower themselves down, sinking into the cushions and resting their head against the backrest. "Christ, I feel so sick... You've got some cold medicine, don't you?"

“I do.” B leans forward and presses a kiss to their forehead. “You just rest here while I get it for you, alright?”

"Mmm..." A mumbles inelegantly. "Don't be long..." They whimper. "P—please..."

“I won’t,” B promises, and true to their word they are back with a bottle of cold medicine in hand before A had really registered they had left.

A’s expression is a bit pained as they take it from B; their head is suddenly pounding with a vengeance. "Thank you.” A fumbles with the cap, fingers feeling wholly uncooperative. The bottle is new, and they struggle to turn the cap and break the seal, their hands unusually clumsy. The intense and prolonged period of leaning downward to open the bottle has caused their nose to run anew, and they sniffle miserably.

"Hnggh... God, it feels like my entire face is swollen.” Wordlessly, B takes the bottle from A, who smiles sheepishly. “I—I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you. "

B opens the bottle easily and smiles. “You wouldn’t have any cold medicine, for a start.”

A gulps down a capful of the medicine, wrinkling their nose ever so slightly at the taste, but even that proves too much for the sensitive appendage. They bend forward with two full, wet sneezes.

A feels that they have been messy, and their face scrunches in abject repulsion. They don’t even know where that sad bunch of tissues has gone, not they they would do much good in such a soaked state. Instead, A rubs their fingers over their nose to collect the worst of the mess.

"Oh my God, B,” they groan. Then, after some more deep, loud sniffling in a futile attempt to regain control of their sinuses, they remember how gross they must look right now. "I'm... I'm so sorry,” they say desperately. “That was disgusting. I’m disgusting. That's... that's—you didn't deserve that."

“You’re sick, sweetheart,” B says simply, stroking A’s hair a couple times. “It’s alright. Let me get you some tissues, though.”

"I'm such a mess!" A cries. They cover their face with one hand and groan. "Ugh, I'm so sorry I'm such a mess right now..." They press down on his forehead as though they could force some sort of sense into his swollen mind. "I... I feel like hell.” They break off to sneeze, and sneeze again. “Like my head could explode at any second... oh..."

B returns with the tissues and hands them to A. “Hence why you should try blowing a bit of that gunk out, hmm?”

"Mmm..." A hums, holding the fresh tissue against their nose, relishing in its softness before blowing a few times. They sniffle liquidly. "That's not all... “ A cuts themselves off with a sharp sneeze. “That's not all of it, but it… it helps some. Thank you.” A coughs and clears their throat with a wince. "God, I feel awful... I feel so cold and hot at the same time..."

B frowns. “That’s my cue to get a thermometer then, huh?”

A groans and coughs again as B stands up to retrieve the thermometer.. “My throat feels so sore it’s hard to swallow.”

B comes back, and slips the thermometer gently between A’s lips. A’s eyes drift shut and they don’t open them when the thermometer beeps, too tired to even consider looking to see for themselves what the number reads. B caresses’s A’s cheek and takes the thermometer out to read it, making an unhappy noise.

A murmurs in a gravelly voice, swallowing down a cough. "Is it bad? Tell me it's not bad..."

“It’s not terrible,” B says, “but it’s certainly not healthy. I think you’ve got the flu, my dear.”

B takes a seat on the couch again next to A, who promptly flops against them bonelessly. “At this point, nothing surprises me.”

B clucks their tongue sympathetically. “Why don’t you just rest here on the couch with me while I crochet?”

A’s eyes drift shut for a brief time, but the pulsing ache that throbs through their very bones keeps them from sleeping as they wish they could. "I'm so tired,” A moans, opening their eyes again, muttering as their breath begins to hitch. "I can't rest, B... I can't…” They sneeze helplessly. “I'm so—*sneeze*—so blocked up I can't even catch my breath and these sneezes..." A groans, clutching at their face. "Christ...."

B sets aside their crochet needle and begins to massage A’s achy shoulders. “Just do your best to relax, honey.”

A flinches a little as their tense shoulders are kneaded and they release a relieved moan, their breathing already beginning to slow and deepen. "You're... you're so kind..." A says, sighing and nuzzling their head against B’s chest. "I don't know how I'd do it without you..."

“Good thing you’ll never have to, huh?” B says, and presses a kiss behind A’s ear. “I’ll be here for you always.”

A’s body slouches so deeply into B that they're nearly lying on top of them, and they give a soft, happy sigh as B’s lips press to their skin. "Mmm… I love you so much..." A sneezes a few times, too exhausted to consider moving, and then nuzzles their face against B’s skin, closing their eyes as their breathing slows.

B smiles to themselves as their stuffy-nosed partner begins to snore, then resumes their crocheting once more. It isn’t long before A is fast asleep, and his peaceful, easy breathing is the perfect lullaby to accompany B’s handiwork.

#my writing #kb's secret santa

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