#jerkface dance; crack

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 1 Episodes 7-9

Episode 7

-“good try, doggies” she’s so cute

-RAYLAS HUMAN IMPRESSION I CANT

-“snow elf.”

-“I need something more personal than a shirt”

“Underwear?”

HHAHAHHA

-also if Soren or Claudia make any bad choices in the future I’ve decided that it is not their fault in the slightest thank you

-When Rayla said she was gonna ask nicely I didn’t think she was actually gonna ask nicely

-“I’m just a simple human girl who like the human things like bread and complaining all the time!”

“No, you’re an elf!”

“Fine I’m an elf.”

-bruh if that didn’t get it off what the heck will

-ELLIS AND AVA’S BACKSTORY OH MY GOSH

-“There she is! She’s an elf!” BRO WHYD YOU HAVE TO EXPOSE HER LIKE THAT WHATD SHE DO TO YOU

Episode 8

-ELLIS IS BACK

-even if the healer can heal her hand it wouldn’t be any use because the band is still on

-could not be more unrelated but I just remembered that Callum mentioned a jerk face dance in episode 1 or 2 and I can’t even describe how much I NEED to see that

-“How do you plan for indescribable terrors? I feel like you need to be able to describe them first”

-“Flash! Woof! Whoosh! Slish-slash!”

“…is he okay?” “I think he’s finally cracked under the pressure”

-“Callum you may be a dummy but you’re not a fool!”

-don’t worry Callum, I appreciate your weird way of explaining plans

-bruh why does Viren even care about the elf anymore

-if y’all don’t start appreciating Callum’s humor RIGHT NOW-

-Bait you had one job

-I can’t believe they almost got killed by an oversized earthworm

-WHAT WAS IN THE BAG

-why am I getting weird vibes from Ellis all of the sudden is she gonna betray them or something? Like I have a feeling him telling her about the primal stone was a mistake but I can’t put my finger on why

-“knowing you is definitely worth losing a hand for” AWWWWW

-“I’m just a guy who can draw and make wry comments from time to time” yeah that’s why I love you what about it

-how did they just blind a creature with no eyes

-“Get zapped! Hahaha get zapped by the zap hand!” I love him so much

-“I knew whoosh should have been part of 🫡The Plan🫡”

-oh yeah and Ellis I’m sorry I ever doubted you

-WHAT DID VIREN DO TO THE ELF AND WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE NOW

-THE HECK DO YOU MEAN NO MIRACLE HEALER HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN THIS

Episode 9

-boy the heck do you mean you can talk to animals how did we not know this

-like talk talk to them or just communicate cause those are two very different things

-“fitting in is boring anyway”

-so is this a magical ability or is he just really good with animals and he thinks it’s more than that because he’s a kid, like I’m not saying he’s lying but I also don’t blame them for not believing him

-“you might say it’s, the ka-tallest” HAHAHA that was funny idc

-hey for every only child out there who doesn’t know how to write an accurate sibling relationship, just watch Soren and Claudia

-bruh there’s MUMMIES in this universe???

-WAS THE MUMMY THE HEALER IS THE HEALER DEAD

-her hand looks so bad oh my gosh

-THAT FACE SCARED ME YALL KNOW I DONT DO JUMP SCARES

-Callum is me when I lose a spider

-“I’m disgusted, and a little impressed” hahahaha

-I don’t understand this animal thing at all he’s being so ominous about it

-“then you have to do the thing” JERKFACE DANCE????

-JERKFACE DANCE

-“I should have figured it out, they were all illusions” um no actually I think you investigated a little too much

-ok but is she gonna give the collar back tho cause ik we love Ava but she’s gonna have it rough without it

-ik for a fact the egg’s not dead cause the show is literally named after it so stop teasing me with this

-Callum honey great idea but we gotta think these things through

-OH MY GOSH ITS SO CUTE

-DRAGONDRAGONDRAGONDRAGON

-so he DOES know exactly what they’re saying?? Is there a magical explanation for this or do we just have to except it, I’m good either way I just wanna know

-you have GOT to be kidding me, the indestructible knife can’t cut the band but a dragon nibbles on it a little bit and it snaps?

-Zym has already done something amazing and he was literally just hatched, most useful character on the show rn

-that short gust of wind that blew in Soren’s face right after he said “couldn’t you do this someplace warmer” was personal

-I was gonna ask why no one but the old elf lady was phased by the giant purple beam of light but then I remembered everything they just went through to get up there

-is Viren gonna just look like that from now on I still don’t even know what he did to the elf, put him in a coin?? Does putting someone in a coin make you look like that?? Remind me to never put anyone in a coin

[bladesheart]

“That’s why I got disowned by my family.”

[ask-runaan-anything]

Runaan: [singing reluctantly] I'm Runaan, and I was wrong. I'm singing the Runaan Wrong Song. I shouldn't have taken that chance. Now here's my remorseful dance.

[rins-rambles]

TDP Actor AU

I miss writing these, so of course I do one for my next favorite hyperfixated show

General

Callum and Ezran’s actors are actually brothers. Since they worked incredibly well together in their auditions they were both chosen to play the roles of the princes’.

This is Ezran’s actors first major acting role

Funnily enough, Claudia and Soren’s actors aren’t related, but many have mistaken them to be actual siblings. Claudia’s actress has called Soren’s actor her “brother from another mother” on her social media plenty of times.

They actually worked together on other shows/movies where they played siblings, so of course it comes naturally to them

Ezran actually acts with a Bait plushie that he now doesn’t go anywhere on set without.

Claudia actually dyed that section of her hair purple, and let Ezran’s actor paint her nails. Although she wears a wig, Rayla’s actress really wants to dye her hair white, and Claudia gives her tips.

A lot of the humor coming from Soren is usually ad-libbed by his actor. Since he sometimes comes up with something funnier than what the writers intended, they sometimes just write “Soren does/says something” and let his actor go wild

Rayla’s actress was a gymnast, which is how she moves so agilely and begged the crew to let her do her own stunts. She was allowed this freedom, but in certain fight scenes they have a stunt double doing the work.

Callum’s actor thought Rayla was just really good at mimicking accents, but she really does have a Scottish accent.

Rayla, Callum, Ezran, Soren, and Claudia’s actors when not on set like to joke around, especially “casting” magic. But instead of saying the spell, they often say, “You’re watching the Disney Channel!”

Claudia and Viren find that the dark spells are just sentences played backwards is both really cool but also creepy

One problem some of the elven actors face is when their horns would fall off during scenes, sometimes for no reason. There are lots of blooper takes so far when this happens, to the point where the actors yell “point!” every time it happens, since they made a bet to the staff that if they would get at least a total of five horn drops in a season, then they would have to treat the actors to a restaurant.

All the elf actors have to wear what they call a “finger glove” over their pinky, so their finger can be CG’d out to show that they only have four fingers. In far away scenes, they don’t worry about it so much, but on close ups, they have to wear the finger glove. 

Season 1

Echoes of Thunder

Callum’s actor integrated his photographic memory and love for art into his character, and the writers went with it

The baker that Ezran steals jelly tarts from is actually one of the directors for the show

Claudia’s actress says that when playing Claudia, she’s literally just being herself.

She says that one time in the past, she did end up running into a tree when reading a book. Her father videotaped it and forever has proof.

Runaan’s hair has gotten caught and tangled with his surroundings on more than one occasion. His horns also sometimes gets tangled in his hair

Harrow and Viren’s actors are old friends, and were surprised to see each other on set when shooting their first scene together. That scene happened to be when Viren goes to offer to switch his soul with Harrow’s

Harrow’s actor begged to be able to throw in the “winter is coming” line, since he’s a huge GoT fan.

However after he’s killed off, he asks the writers if they intentionally made him the Ned Stark of this show because of it.

Pip is actually all CGI, since Harrow’s actor is allergic to birds. But he does have a cat that he calls Pip.

Callum’s actor had a hard time not tearing up when he had to say goodbye to Harrow.

Rayla’s actor tends drops her weapons more often than the other actors do

What Is Done

The two guards who are talking with each other about breakfast are actually some of the writers.

Ezran just made up the combination for the “stone rock” 

Claudia was just told to act like she hated the jelly, and while it tasted a bit like oranges, she called it persimmons, because she doesn’t like those fruits

Claudia has a bit of a hard time moving in her dress down the stairs and nearly tripped a few times. So she was glad that later on her outfit gets changed

But she always liked filming the part where she treats her hand like a flashlight. 

Moonrise

The egg is actually lighter than it looks, made out of thin 3D printed plastic and carefully painted

Viren and Harrow’s actors could barely keep a straight face when Harrow orders Viren “on his knees”, which is why the cameras use more close ups of their faces, since one of the other was trying hard not to crack up

In order to get the “dark” moonshadow elf look, Runaan and Rayla’s actors actually have to get more makeup applied on them, and then get layered on with CGI. They’re both less than pleased about having to spend more time in the makeup chair, but they put up with it.

Callum actually has a hard time saying the spells, because he would sometime stumble on the words. A majority of the blooper reels are of him messing up.

Everyone off set made jokes about Callum being Ariel while Viren was Ursula after Viren takes his voice

Bloodthirsty

Amaya’s actress is actually deaf, and was the first choice to play her character which she happily accepted. She has a brother in the army, and bases some of Amaya’s characteristics off of him. 

She’s grown close to Ezran and Callum’s actors, teaching them ASL and starting to treat them like they’re her actual nephews

Gren’s actor is a close friend with Amaya’s actress, and is usually the one who translates for her outside and during work

The loaf of bread Amaya describes as “weapons grade” is actually a loaf of bread one of the staff members baked, but left it out for too long, so it hardened. They decided to throw that into the script. 

The snail armor line was actually an argument Ezran and Callum had when they were younger

Rayla’s actress was sad when the writers forced her character to cut her braid, since she would spend some time off set to braid it herself

Rayla almost teared up when her character calls Callum out on saying she’s a monster

The cube is made out of thin metal, and there are lights inside that glow when someone off set hits a switch

An Empty Throne

Rayla’s actress does get a bit motion sick, but not to the extent that her character does

The boat ride the three ride on is shot on something like Roaring Rapids 

However, the drop from the small waterfall and the close ups on the actors faces were done on green screens

Amaya’s actress enjoys how much her character calls out Viren on his bullshit. 

Sarai’s actress and Amaya are actually related to each other, and Amaya’s signing to her statue are how she feels about her sister. It’s also thanks to her sister that she even got into the acting industry. 

Through the Ice

Ezran’s actor has an idea of what the talk about “sandwiches” indicates, although when he asks his brother to clarify, he changes the subject

Callum’s actor had to sit down a few times because he lost his breath when performing the Aspiro spell

Rayla’s actress doesn’t like looking at her hand, because she doesn’t like the bruising color it leaves behind.

Running up the stairs and stretching is how Soren’s actor usually prepares to play Soren 

His history is like a see-saw line is ad-libbed which threw of Viren’s actor and he had to adjust to that line

Offset, Claudia occasionally does call Soren “Sor-bear”

The Dagger and the Wolf

Ezran’s actor loves animals, and hopes to either be a veterinarian or an animal caretaker if he ever stops acting

The huge swordsman used to be a wrestler, and agreed to play this part as a favor to one of the writer’s who’s their acquaintance. 

Rayla’s actress had a blast playing “human Rayla”, and the lines that made it in were improvised. 

When getting an idea for Ava and Ellis, the girl who gave the writers some pointers ended up getting the role of Ellis, while her companion wolf got Ava

Cursed Caldera

Callum’s actor claims he had the best pun about the Cursed Caldera and everyone else was just jealous at how good it was

Rayla’s actress hates slugs and was not fond of seeing the CGI monster she’d have to fight off

Runaan’s actor admits that he didn’t like filming his scenes when he’s imprisoned, mainly because he was always cold without a top on. He thinks that the writers purposefully had him without a shirt for many different reasons

It takes roughly three hours in the makeup chair for Viren to get his “corrupted” form done

Wonderstorm

Claudia genuinely thought the “Ka-tallest mountain” line was hilarious which made it easier for her to really laugh on set

Rayla’s actress literally booked it off the set when the mummified person hisses at her

For the effect of the spider-roar, Ezran had to stand in front of a large leaf blower and he actually enjoyed that part, thinking it was funny

While the actors thought that the spiders looked cool, they admitted that they would never want to see them ever get that big

Callum’s “jerkface dance” is actually something one of the writers did for their siblings whenever they had to apologize. Callum is particularly proud of how he got down the movements in three tries. 

The actors all cooed when they got to see what Zym looked like and all demanded that stuffed versions of him would be made available and they’d get theirs first

Lujanne’s actress claims she likes wearing the elven horns more than the ears

She likes to think Phoe-Phoe is based off of her own pet bird that she allowed the team to use as a reference

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#5yrsago Disneyland's original prospectus revealed!

Thanks to an anonymous benefactor, Boing Boing is pleased to present the first-ever look at the original Disneyland prospectus.

Thanks to an anonymous benefactor, Boing Boing is pleased to present the first-ever look at the original Disneyland prospectus. These extremely high-resolution scans were made from one of the three sets of pitch-documents Roy and Walt Disney used to raise the money to build Disneyland. There are no archive copies of this document. Neither the Walt Disney Company nor the Walt Disney Family Museum have it. But we certainly hope both organizations will download these documents for inclusion in their collections.

Roy Disney -- the Disney brother who controlled the company's finances - -- didn't like the idea of Disneyland at first. Walt Disney poached the best talent from the studios to help him flesh out his idea for a new kind of amusement park, eventually winning over Roy, who helped him raise the $17 million it took to build Disneyland.

The first animator Walt took into the project was the legendary Herb Ryman. Over the course of a weekend in 1953, Walt and Herb drew the storied first map of Disneyland, as pictured here. An additional eight typed pages of description and sales copy were added to these pages and the resulting "brochure" was used as an unsuccessful pitch session that Walt and Herb conducted for three different New York bankers.

This document changed hands at auction last year. The new owner has not indicated his interest in exhibiting or sharing the contents of this document. The new owner is Glenn Beck, a noted jerkface, so this is not surprising.

As for the document itself, there's a lot of interesting detail in it. I was quite struck by the extent to which the document focuses on Disneyland as a unique place to shop. This being the post-war boom-years, shopping was coming into its own as an American recreational passtime. And indeed, Disneyland has, at various times in its history, focused strongly on unique gifts. In the 1950s and 1960s, doing your Christmas shopping at Disneyland was quite the thing in LA (in those days, there was a separate, low charge for admission, and ride tickets were extra, so it was very cheap to pass through the gates in order to shop). In the 1970s and 1980s, the parks sported loads of wonderful, bespoke materials (I loved the Randotti souvenirs, especially the Haunted Mansion material). At various times since, the corporate emphasis on merchandise has varied wildly, though thoughtful, high-quality, distinctive merchandise now appears to be back in the mix.

But Walt's vision for what the company at one point called "merchantainment" (!) was more ambitious than anything yet realized inside the berm. Page one boasts of a "mail order catalogue" that will offer everything for sale at Disneyland (a kind of super-duper version of today's Disneyland Delivears). This catalogue was to feature actual livestock, including "a real pony or a miniature donkey thirty inches high."

Once we get to "True-Life Adventureland," we learn of even cooler (and less probable) living merchandise: "magnificently plumed birds and fantastic fish from all over the world...which may be purchased and shipped anywhere in the U.S. if you so desire."

The contrafactual Disneyland of 1953 wrestled with the future just as much as today's Disney parks do. The prospectus promises "slidewalks," a scientifically accurate space-simulator, robotic open kitchens and (of course) merchandise. But what merch! This being the golden age of science kits, Walt and Herb promised to send kids home from Disneyland with "scientific toys, chemical sets and model kits." We were also promised space-helmets. (I want a space helmet!)

Futurism and science fiction have been tough nuts for Disneyland to crack. When the park opened in 1955, there wasn't much budget to kit out Tomorrowland, so a bunch of corporate sponsors were quickly brought in to host some pretty dubious exhibits: the Kaiser Aluminum Hall of Fame (a giant tin telescope, a tin pig, and exhibits about the role of aluminum in American industry); a Dairy of the Future that featured models of cows with IVs in their hocks gazing at videos of pastures; the Dutch Boy Color Gallery (exploring the future through paint mixing). The crowning glory was a big-top tent housing the special-effects kraken from the film of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea; it was staffed by a little person who hid inside it all day, making the tentacles wave.

There have been several attempts to remake Tomorrowland, of varying success. At one point, it became a focal point for insouciant Orange County goths, who congregated there every day after school, making good use of their annual passes. These days, Tomorrowland is thoroughly grounded in fiction from recently acquired franchises -- not futurism and the "factual world of tomorrow." There's a rather good Marvel Comics exhibit in the otherwise lacklustre Innoventions building, and lots of Star Wars-themed stuff to go with the revamped Star Tours ride (which is also rather good). No one seems to mind that a franchise set "a long, long time ago" is a dominant feature in Tomorrowland. Pixar is represented through a Buzz Lightyear ride/shooting gallery (where my wife regularly and thoroughly trounces me).

Finally, the prospectus makes a big deal out of the idea of a miniature walk-through land, "Lilliputian Land," where "mechanical people nine inches high sing and dance and talk to you." This is clearly inspired by Walt's experiences touring Copenhagen's Tivoli Gardens, and is the lineal ancestor of the Small World boats (created for Unicef's pavilion at the 1964 NYC World's Fair) and the Storybookland Boats. More to the point, it shows off how much Disneyland was really an elaborate plan by Walt to let extend the miniature train-set he'd build in his garden as therapy after his mental breakdown. The classic photo of Walt Disney hanging out of a train locomotive, grinning with pure, unfaked joy contain, for me, the real story of Disneyland: a man who struggled with depression and his relationship to the company he founded, restless with corporate culture and anxious to lose himself in play in a world of fantasy.

We are forever grateful to our anonymous source for this extraordinary document. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

Disneyland Original Prospectus [archive.org]

A zip file of high-res TIFF files [4GB!] is also available.

https://boingboing.net/2014/05/20/disneylandprospectus.html

[ifishouldvanish]

For Your Consideration

This was a weird year in that the only story I really worked on was The Boston Hour, which isn’t eligible this year. So... here goes:

Who Says Dark Ones Don’t Dance? (G)

Terribly, romantic, schmoopy fluff based on a transcription of a travel book page. Belle wants to go dancing at a club, but Rumple’s reluctant to join. At first. Please consider nominating it for ‘Best One-Shot” or “Best ‘Missing Years’ Fic”.

Making A Splash (E)

Boston Hour ‘verse. After he and Belle agree that their relationship is “serious” over the phone, Gold takes a moment to reflect in the bathtub. And by reflect I mean masturbate. Consider nominating for “Smut - Romance”.

If Only for a Moment (E)

My RCIJ fic featuring Belle and Hamish. They tease each other and get it on in the library, with silly results. Consider nominating for “Smut - PWP”, “Rumbelle Christmas In July”, and “Best Anyelle”

Spin Me a Tale (T)

WIP. Silly AU where Belle has a terrible crush on the terribly shy Mr Gold who frequents the library. He’s never spoken a word to her, so has no idea that he’s actually the voice behind her favorite book review podcast. Consider nominating for “Best Comedy Fic” and “Best Belle”

Home Again (T)

Rumbelle Showdown fic, now a WIP. Belle left Storybrooke to travel the world- leaving her childhood friend, Adam Gold, behind. Years later, she returns to her hometown to see him again. Consider nominating for “Fluff - Reunion” and “Best Woobie!Rumple”

Let’s Spend the Night Together (E)

RSS 2017 fic. Lacey French was managing her crush on her curmudgeonly roommate Nicholas Rush pretty well. That was, until she came home from her shift one cold December evening and found out that the heater had broken. Consider nominating for “Smut - PWP” and “Best Anyem”. 

Alterations ‘Verse (M)

The extended ‘verse for my RCIJ 2017 fic, Alterations. Woobie!Gold lives with his cruel mother and has a crush on Belle, who’s engaged to jerkface Gaston. The woobie agrees to do the alterations on her wedding dress and they fall in love.

The original fic is not eligible, but the consider nominating the series for “Best Series” and the other stories for the following:

Finishing Stitch (T): Consider nominating for “Best Trope” (Marriage proposal)

Embellishment (E): Consider nominating for best “Smut - Romance”

Songbird (G): Consider nominating for “Angst - Death”

Pieces of a Quilt (G): Consider nominating for “Fluff - Family”

Magical (G): Consider nominating for “Fluff - Family”

Black Roses (M)

WIP. Golden Lace as villain protagonists. Basically a Sons of Anarchy AU. Lacey’s president of a motorcycle club, and Gold’s the crooked lawyer who helps cover their tracks. Consider nominating for “Best Golden Lace” and “Best TV Show AU”

I Must Be Warmer Now ‘Verse (M)

Extended ‘verse for my RSS 2016 fic. After a messy divorce that costs Rummond Gold what little family he had, he goes to the Rabbit Hole to drown his sorrows in whiskey. Instead, he finds hope in the town's resident barfly, Lacey French. 

Consider nominating for “Best Series” and the individual stories for the following:

I Must Be Warmer Now (E) (main fic): Consider nominating for “Best Golden Lace”, “Best Lacey”, and “Best AU Inspired by Other Media” (song)

Nighthawks, Morningbirds (M): Consider nominating for  “Fluff - Comfort”, “Best Golden Lace”, and “Best Lacey”

Objects In the Rear View Mirror (T): Consider nominating for “Fluff - Comfort”

So A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar... (E)

Golden Lace smut written for “Rumbelle Order in the Court”. They tease each other and do it over his big fancy lawyer desk. Spanking and anal play. Consider nominating for “Smut - PWP”, “Smut - Kink”, “Best Lacey”, and “Best Golden Lace”.

Receipt In the Bag? (T)

Golden Lace. Everyone in town dreads checking out at the Dark Star Pharmacy when Lacey French is working the register. Well, everyone except Mr Gold. Consider nominating for “Best crack!Fic” and “Best Comedy Fic”.

Rumbelle Ethics (G)

Meta about how Belle and Rumple apply ethics. Consider nominating for “Best Meta”

[umbrahighpriestofgiratina]

Rude Awakening Chapter 10

Welp. Here it is. The final chapter other than the epilogue I'm planning. It's quite the finale, I enjoyed putting it together, and I hope you enjoy reading it: Chapter 10: Endgame

Palkia was in a huddle around a table with both her group and Lucina's group. Even Wuzzles was looking over the maps and charts with curiosity. "Okay," said Palkia. "Does everyone know the plan so far?" There were murmurs of agreement among the group. "Alright. Dialga, Lucina, you two had that thing, right?" "Yes, we did," said Lucina. "We should be able to consult with Naga shortly," said Dialga. "Excellent," said Palkia. "Then let's roll." ------- Naga was resting, meditating. Then she opened her eyes and saw Lucina and Dialga, the latter in his dragon form, there. "Dialga! And... Exalt Lucina?" Lucina stared in awe and then bowed. "Oh Lady Naga, it is a most esteemed honor to be in your presence! Let me recite the holy rites of-" ~You can skip it, me and Naga are on good terms,~ said Dialga. "Indeed we are," said Naga. "What brings you here?" "I have a plan," Lucina said. "A plan to stop Grima. But I need your and Dialga's help." "And what exactly do you need?" said Naga. "I read you know a ritual. A ritual to alter the course of time." Naga's eyes widened. "That ritual is extremely dangerous... It could undo all of reality if performed incorrectly..." "I know. But it could be our only hope." "A suggestion, if I may?" said Dialga. "What is it?" said Naga. "Really, I'm a firm believer that the only way to do time travel is to not do time travel," said Dialga. "But! There's one relatively less messy way to do it." "And that would be?" said Lucina. "We create an alternate timeline. We can't save this one... but we can save another, just like it, and start over." "That's... Crazy enough to work." said Naga. "If I can save my father and his friends that way... I suppose it will work," said Lucina. "Excellent. Now hold on..." said Dialga. He closed his eyes, then telepathically reached out to Palkia. ~Sister? We may begin Stage 2.~ --------------- Grima looked out over his desolate domain. Risen dominated the landscape and the skies were gloomy. It was perfect. His human body sat back and chuckled. He was content. The world could spiral further into entropy and he'd just lau- ...Wait. What was that noise? It started soft, but it grew louder, louder, and it soon became apparent that it was some sort of strange... music? Whatever it was it was agony to Grima's ears, and he recoiled and writhed, not noticing his Risen were being drawn towards the noise. ----- The Risen were drawn to an enormous, elaborate dance floor. Sitting there at the DJ table were Giratina and Wuzzles. Giratina raised a claw to greet the incoming Risen. "Yo! You all ready to par-tay?" The Risen gave gurgles and groans reminiscent of cheers. "Well let's get rocking!" Wuzzles turned on a disco ball and lights, and the Risen all started dancing to the tune of Mahna Mahna. ------------ Around the world, survivors took notice of the lack of Risen. They ventured out of bunkers, out of ruined homes, in awe of what was happening. And they were all startled when hoop-like portals appeared near each of them, and a visage of an enormous dijin-like creature appeared in their minds. ~Yo! If you wanna get out of this mess escape is that-a-way!~ said Unbound Hoopa. The people hesitated. ~Let me put it this way... You either accept the help of this giant monster... or let the other giant monster continue killing you all. Your choice.~ With that the people started filing into the portals. ~That'll do it! Just don't touch anything or I'll throw you right back out!~ ------------- The zombie dance party continued. The Risen were raving and grooving and busting moves. It was then Giratina gave a wink to Wuzzles, and Wuzzles pulled out and pressed a button. The dance floor caved in, and thousands if not millions of Risen were dropped into a swirling pit of darkness and blades below. ------------- In some other universe, several trucks wheeled up to a popular fast-food restaurant with a bell-shaped logo. Inside the trucks were a large number of boxes labeled "burito meet". The restaurant employees shrugged and started hauling it in. ----------- Grima recovered as the music faded. He gazed out in horror. The survivors he needed to purge, gone. His forces, decimated. He roared in unbridled rage. "Who did this?! Who has insulted me?! Show yourselves!" "Yoo-hoo!" Grima turned to find Palkia standing before his human form. "I'm back. And I'm here to kick your ass." "How do you dare hope to defeat me, worm?" "Oh, I'm no worm." She stretched and grew until she was in her dragon form. "You killed my best friend in this world. You killed almost all of my friends in this world period. I'm taking you down." "You dare challenge me, false god?" said Grima. "How hilarious. Do your best." His dragon head lunged at Palkia. Palkia responded in kind. ---------------- The children of the Shepherds were all gathered together. Lucina, Naga, Panne, Virion, Libra, and Dialga were looking over them all. "Okay... We seem to have everyone," said Lucina. "...Wait," said Naga. "Where's Morgan?" "Oh!" said Virion. "She said she had to use the restroo-" He squinted off into the distance. "...Oh no." ------- The battle between Palkia and Grima raged on. Grima snapped his jaws and fired bursts of dark energy while Palkia fired orbs of water and sliced with spatial rifts. It was during one of these exchanges, however, that the two heard a noise. "Hey! Jerkface!" The two turned to see a third dragon, hovering nearby. "Guess what? I'm not afraid anymore!" Grima roared and snapped his jaws at Morgan. Morgan quickly darted out of the way, and Palkia moved between them to keep his jaws pried open. "Morgan?!" said Palkia. "What are you doing here?!" "I didn't want to go with the others!" said Morgan. "I wanted to help you fight!" "Grima's dangerous! Leave this to me!" "And just run away?" "Fine! I go for the dragon body, you go for the human body!" With that, Morgan flew down, and confronted Grima's human vessel. "My my my," he said, looking her over. "Look at how you've grown." "You... Dad..." said Morgan. "Enough with your petty sentimentalities," said Grima. "The line of Naga ends here." He conjured a lightning bolt and threw it at Morgan, who flew out of the way. "No!" said Morgan. "You're not my dad anymore and you killed my mom! You end here!" She unleashed a blast of draconic flame that scorched Grima's human body as he yelled in pain. This caused the dragon head to recoil, allowing Palkia to get in a decisive strike. "You still dare to defy me, false god?" "First off," said Palkia, "you're no god. You're a parasite, one that ate someone who cared about me and who I cared about back from the inside out." "The old me was always destined to be subsumed by the true me... Oh, the pathetic little thing fought so hard to avoid it in so many ways.. But I am always the one to emerge victorious in the end. I always find a way." "From what I see your way always involves subterfuge, manipulation, and cold-blooded murder. A showoff, yeah, but nothing special. You're pathetic." She gave a draconic grin. "Second of all... I'm more of a god than you'll ever be. And let me show you exactly how." With that, her body flashed, and Grima's vision was overwhelmed by light. -------------- Space. Infinite amounts of space. Floating within the space were cosmic pearls of various colors and sizes, but all too massive for any mind to comprehend. And yet Grima was being forced to comprehend it, this true form of Palkia's, this raw embodiment of space that made him squirm and scream in agony. His mind had been thoroughly been cracked open. And that was more than enough for a telepathic force to sneak inside. ------------ Palkia was in a void. In her human form she tiptoed around the darkness until she came across a sight that made her heart stop. There was Robin, chained, helpless. His eyes were closed. Palkia ran over to him. "R-Robin! I knew it, I knew you were still in here somehow, some way..." Robin's eyes slowly opened, and opened wide upon seeing Palkia. "V-Valentina?! Is that you? I... Still exist?" "Yes, you do, Robin! Please, we have to get out of here..." "N-No, I can't... I deserve oblivion, I ''want'' oblivion... Please go, Valentina, it will spare us both so much pain..." "Robin, no... Y-you can't give up like this... Grima is not you, he never was you..." "It's too late... I've let him consume me and all I was utterly... No one would want me to go back even if I could... I'm sorry, Valentia, at least... This way... In... a twisted sense... I'm at... peace..." Robin's eyes closed again. Palkia clenched her fist. When her fist opened there was a strange orb of gold light inside. "Here... Robin... Live to the promise Chrom asked of you... Escape..." She touched the orb of gold light to Robin's forehead, where it sunk in and was absorbed. Tears streamed down her face. "You most likely won't remember me if you do... But I don't care... I just want you to be happy again..." There was another flash of light. ------ Grima recoiled and yelled, while Palkia backed off. "Ugh... Fool! You cannot stop me with your tricks! Defying me is futile!" Palkia shrugged. "I don't know, it's a good distraction?" "...Wait, what?" His dragon head looked around. Then his eyes locked on a pinprick of light in the distance. "No... No!" ----------------------- A massive portal had been opened, the children of the Shepherds about to file inside. Virion and Libra hugged Nah and Noire, while Panne talked to Yarne. "M-mom? I'm scared. Really scared." said Yarne. "Steady yourself," said Panne. "You have a duty to fulfill. Find me. Find your father. And you will be all right." "Okay mom..." They hugged. "Uh, guys?" said Dialga. "You may want to hurry up!" The children turned to see Grima and the remaining Risen heading their way. "Everybody now!" said Lucina. In unison, they all jumped in. Dialga, Naga, Virion, Libra and Panne jumped out of the way as Grima and the Risen charged through the portal as well. The portal closed behind them as the ones left behind got to their feet. "Are they... Okay?" said Libra. "They may be scattered... but they will survive," said Naga. "It is in the hands of the people of the new timeline now." Giratina, Wuzzles, Hoopa, Palkia, and Morgan - the last in her human form - converged around the others. "They make it?" said Hoopa. "They did." said Panne. Suddenly, cracks started appearing in the sky. "Wha- what's happening?" said Virion. "This universe... It's dying." said Naga. "Dying?!" said Palkia. "No, it can't be..." "It has been coming a while," said Naga. "With Grima's rise most of the old gods have moved on. I was one of the only ones left. And that ritual consumed most of my power even with Dialga's help. You all need to get out of here at once." "No... Naga, we can't just leave you..." said Dialga. Naga's hands glowed. "I'm sorry Dialga. I love you." There was a flash. ---------------- Everyone found themselves in the Temporal Dimension, Dialga's home. Of the party, however, Naga was nowhere to be seen. "No..." said Dialga. "No, no, no!" He tried to charge away from the others, only for Palkia and Giratina to restrain him. "Let go! I need to save her! I need to stop this! Why won't... you... let me?!" He let out an unholy screech as the stripes on his body glowed a deep orange and the gem on his chest burned red. "Dialga... please... Stop..." said Palkia. "Bro... Please..." said Giratina. "Uncle Dialga!" said Morgan. Upon hearing her voice the glow on his body faded. "...What... what is it?" said Dialga. "I know grandma Naga is... gone... But you can't lose hope. We've gotten so far. We made the new timeline and saved Lucina's friends. And... wherever we are I hope you can show me around." Dialga paused. He turned to Morgan and gave a faint smile. "...I suppose I will." And everyone moved to rest. ***

So yeah. That's that. I'd give thoughts on the whole experience writing this fic but I'll save that for the epilogue.

[dork-empress]

Dark Callum 3 pt 2

part of my ‘another 100 dragon prince aus’ oneshot collection

Read on Ao3

Rayla reaches Callum and tries to stop him from destroying the world.

This will make no sense if you haven't read part 1

Callum screamed at Rayla, dark shadows crackling with lightning pouring out of his mouth at her. With a flick of her wrist she raised her swords like a cross, dividing the shadows. She stood her ground, not letting herself get pushed back. “Not happy to see me, huh?”

In Callum’s arms, Zym perked his head. His eyes were sunken. His mane, once snow white, was a tired grey. He yipped at her, trying to greet her, but his voice cracked in his throat. “Hi little one,” Rayla said, “It’s going to be ok.”

Rayla stepped forward and Callum flinched away. “I know you’re still in there,” She said, “You’re strong, Callum. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you’re a mage, you can control this.”

He screamed again, this time it sounded pained. The shadows were easy to push aside this time. “This isn’t you,” She said, “You like drawing. You cried so hard when you found out your step father died. You did the jerkface dance for your little brother to make him feel better! You don’t want to destroy this land, you wanted to learn from it.”

Rayla reached out her hand, the hand that nearly fell off with her binding, trying to grab Callum’s shoulder. The shadows were like wind around him, icy cold and pushing her away. She pushed right back. “Come on, Callum,” She said, “Come on!”

She touched him, and then it was her turn to scream in pain. The cracks of lightning ran up her arm, and she felt her magic draining from her directly into her old friend.

It had an effect, though. The black around his eyes faded until it just rimmed them still falling from his eyes like tears. “Ruh,” made it out of his throat, deep and demonic. “Rayla.”

She smiled, gritting her teeth through the pain. “Yes, yes it’s me! Callum, come on.”

“Get away!” He yelled. He released Zym, who fell in a heap on the ground as he summoned enough energy to physically push her until she fell.

She was prone on the ground and steeled herself, ready for whatever attacks he would throw at her. But he didn’t. “Rayla,” He said, “Run.”

“You don’t scare me, Callum!” She said, standing.

“You have to run!” He said, “All of you, I can’t...I can’t hold this any longer.”

Rayla frowned, “Hold…”

She looked around. It occurred to her that these shadows weren’t attacking, not really, just keeping people back, maybe as far back as Callum could get them. She looked down at Zym who was hurt….who Callum had been cradling and trying to care for, but couldn’t get rid of.

Callum was still there, but the Dark Magic was piling and piling into his body, using Zym as a conduit. The Magic had no conscience, no motivation but to grow and grow like a cancer, turning Callum into a human bomb.

Rayla jumped forward, scooping Zym off the ground, feeling his bones through his scaly skin. “Callum, you need to direct it,” She said, “You need to release the energy!”

“How?” He said, his voice still demonic.

Rayla took his hand, pointing his finger for him. “You connected to the wind arcanum. I know you did. Remember that feeling, that freedom, that breath.” She directed his finger, turning it into the wind rune, “Come on, you have primal magic, you can do it! It’s stronger than the dark! Use it!”

Callum took strained breaths, The shadows turning to try and choke him. “Aaa-” He screamed out in pain, struggling, “Aspiro!”

The black shadows coming from his mouth turned to white. He tilted his head back, air gushing out of him into a whirlwind straight into the sky.

Rayla smiled watching it. The shadow figures surrounding them disapparated, Soren and Claudia stopping to look at the spectacle along with all the surrounding elves and dragons.

“You did it!” Rayla shouted, “You did it, Callum, you--” as the wind and his breath left him, Callum fell to the ground. “CALLUM!”

Rayla kneeled at his side. He looked human again, just pale and sickly….and he wasn’t breathing. She checked for his pulse, but there was nothing. “Callum, no.”

Zym crawled up to him, licking at his face. “He made a mistake,” Rayla said, “But he was trying to protect you...he didn’t know how…”

Zym purred. He understood, he didn’t blame blame Callum.

Then he was wretching. He looked like a cat trying to cough up a hairball. “Zym?” Rayla asked.

A bolt of lightning shot out of his mouth, hitting Callum square in the chest.

Callum sat upright, taking a sudden breath. His hair was wild and his eyes lined in red. He blinked once. Twice. “What just happened?”

[sunalsolove]

Day Seven

I hope everyone is recovering from the week-end and ready for a (not very) spooky Halloween. World events have been scary enough as it is :( 

Today is a College AU Trip/Daisy fic with a side of Fitz/Simmons. I was really excited to write this pairing as I hadn’t done so before! I hope you enjoy! Written for the prompt: “Angels and Demons can totally be friends.”

AO3 LINK

Party

beta’d by @robotgort

Daisy smiled at her friend as Jemma tugged on the skirt she was wearing.

“It’s a bit short, don’t you think?” Jemma asked. She was dressed in an angel costume, but the sexy kind with a clingy vee-neck dress that barely came down far enough to be modest. She had tiny wings in back, a halo, and strappy sandals with a kitten heel. Daisy had talked her into it just that afternoon as she’d painted Jemma’s toenails gold.

“You look fine,” Daisy assured her.

“Says the woman dressed like the devil.”

Daisy laughed. Her costume for the off-campus party, where there was going to be a pool and party games, was a tight, bright-red catsuit with a tail and horns. She had lipstick to match and was ready to show off.

“Are you sure he’s going to be here?” Jemma asked, wringing her hands.

“I’m sure Fitz will be here. I talked to his friend, and Hunter swore up and down he was dragging Fitz along to run the stereo system all night.” Daisy rolled her eyes. Maybe they could play a game of seven minutes in heaven and lock Fitz and Jemma in a closet and then just forget to let them out for a couple of hours. That should do the trick of letting nature take its course.

What remained to be seen was if there was anyone interesting for Daisy to meet. Her last boyfriend had turned out to be a total jerkface, and she did not want a repeat of that experience, ever. Thankfully, Ward was out of state at a football game, so Daisy could be a hundred percent sure neither he nor any of his cronies would be at the party.

They could hear the party before they could see it, and once they turned onto the street the old Victorian house was located on, it was abundantly clear which place was party central. The trees on either side of the street were almost bare, and the house was looming and gray, but not the least bit scary as lights blazed in every window, pop music thumped loudly, and college students crowded together on the lawn, porch, and were sitting on windowsills.

Daisy pulled a reluctant Jemma along, ignoring several wolf-whistles, and threaded through the knots of people dressed as vampires, zombies, and sexy-everything-imaginable.

“There, see?” Daisy said, pointing to Fitz who was scowling as he stood beside the stereo system and fiddled with a wire.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Jemma squeaked.

“Oh my god, trust me, he wants to see you.” She marched over to Fitz, Jemma in tow. “Hey, Fitz!” He glanced up.

“Hi, Dais,” he said, looking less than thrilled. He was dressed in plain clothes with a ‘Hello My Name Is’ badge stuck to his shirt. Only it read ‘God’.

“What’s with the tag?” Daisy asked.

“It’s from a TV show,” Jemma said, and Fitz’s gaze darted towards her, obviously not realizing until that moment who Daisy was with. His eyes traveled up and down Jemma’s body, and his face turned pink.

“Hi Jemma,” he said, voice hoarse. He tugged at the collar of his shirt and coughed

“Oh, let me get that button for you,” Jemma reached for Fitz’s collar, and he froze with a dopey look of adoration on his face. Daisy sighed and turned to let them have some time to awkwardly nerd flirt.

She ran right into someone.

“Damn, Girl,” a voice said. She looked up into a handsome face and wide smile. “I was going to say hi because we match—” The guy gestured to himself. He was dressed as a devil as well, with a red vest with nothing under it, black jeans, and a set of horns. “But…I don’t know since you walked in here with an angel.”

She smiled and put her index finger on his chest. “Angels and demons can totally be friends.”

“And what about demons and demons?”

“That remains to be seen. What if we start with a drink?”

The guy put his hand on her lower back to usher her towards the kitchen, and sparks danced up her spine.

“There’s a wide selection to choose from. Crappy beer, even crappier beer, or shitty beer. Your choice.”

“I’ll take a crappy beer, please,” Daisy said with a laugh. The guy bent over a tub filled with ice and Daisy admired the view. Returning with a couple of cans that she didn’t even bother reading the label of, she led him through the throng and up the stairs until she found a padded bench to sit on that was far away enough from the music that they could talk.

“What’s your name, beautiful?” the guy asked. He had lovely dark brown eyes that Daisy was sure she could fall right into.

“Daisy, I’m a computer science major.”

“Antoine Triplett, but call me Trip.”

“And your major?”

He gave her a one-sided smile. “Uh, physical therapy.”

“Oh, wow, cool!”

“You think so?” He looked a little embarrassed.

“It’s good money and steady work, plus you get to help people.” She got the full smile this time, and it was quite the smile. That along with the crimson of his vest against his dark skin and rockin’ biceps were doing something for her. “And you already get bonus points for not asking me if I’m secretly a guy for being into computers.”

Trip laughed. “I’m digging your bod, no matter what gender you are. It’s all good to me anyway.” Oh, damn. She upgraded him from hot to potential boyfriend material. “So why’d you drag your friend in here only to dump her with the radio guy?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “I didn’t dump her with him. Jemma only got dressed up and came along with me because I was sure Fitz would be here. She’s got a huge crush on him, and I’m pretty sure it’s mutual but it’s stupidly hard to get either of them to make a move.”

“Wait…that’s Jemma? The Jemma? With the—I’m quoting—‘most brilliant mind and perfect tits’?”

“That sounds like Fitz,” Daisy said, finally cracking open her beer and taking a sip. It was super crappy. “Do you know him?”

“I hang out with him and Hunter sometimes, play video games, that sort of thing. He never shuts up about her. Though I think he’s wrong about her boobs because I’m looking at the perfect set right now.” Trip’s gaze fell to Daisy’s chest.

“Flattery will probably get you everywhere,” she said, tilting her head back and draining half her beer.

The music pulsing through the house changed to something with a slower tempo.

“Want to dance?” Trip asked. “I promise I will not keep my hands to myself.”

“You better not.” She finished her beer and Trip did the same, and they tossed the cans in the trash as they returned to the living room. It was empty of furniture, and a few couples were already wrapped around each other.

Trip bumped her shoulder with his. “Looks like the geniuses figured it out.” She looked where he was pointing, and sure enough, Jemma and Fitz were swaying together. She had her head on his shoulder, and Fitz looked like he was in another dimension of bliss.

“Thank god,” Daisy whispered. “I was going to lock them in a closet together.”

“That’s step two,” Trip said with a chuckle. He put an arm around Daisy, and she slid hers around his neck. He felt really good, strong and warm. His hands trailed down her back to rest right above her rear. “You’ve got some tension, especially in your neck,” he whispered. “I can show you some ways to stretch and some exercises to do to avoid strain while you’re working on computers all day.”

“Mmm,” Daisy replied. “That doesn’t sound very devilish of you.”

“I could show you while we’re naked.”

“Now you’re talking.”

[topcatnikki]

Tinder Should be Kinder (aka That Time in the Olympic Village)

This is a lil prompt fill based on the anon sent to @randomsplashes​ by @loveprez​, and encouraged by @zupsgirl1​ and @sleep-furiously​.

Yuuri’s hands are shaking as he swipes right, of course they are, he's been matched with Victor Nikiforov after all.

It started as a joke.

Well not even a joke, it started as a way to shut his best friend up so he could get some peace and quiet while he waited for the Sword of Damocles that is his Winter Olympics to finally fall. He's nervous, anxious, and all together unequipped for this particular stage, and he feels it. Adding the secondary pressure of his best friend and fellow Olympic Figure Skater Phichit Chulanont nipping at him to let loose and have fun, to download the stupid app and blow off some steam seemed unfair to say the least.

Yuuri had given in, it had taken Phichit all of four hours of lying in his hotel room and calling him a spoilsport to crack him.

“Fine, fine! Here -” Yuuri throws his phone at his best friend, missing his face by a mere inch. “Do whatever, I need a shower anyway.”

He doesn't have to actually look at the thing after all, it'll just be another sacrifice to the Gods of internal storage until they get back to Detroit and then he'll delete the thing. Phichit whoops with glee, immediately setting himself to his task and waving off Yuuri’s instruction to not do anything ‘too weird’.

All of which led them here, to Yuuri with shaking hands swiping right on Victor Nikiforov’s tinder profile while Phichit vibrates with excitement beside him.

“I… Don't understand. Why did I match with Victor? How could this happen?” Yuuri is still dripping water from the shower, Phichit hadn't even given him a chance to dry off before he'd leapt at him babbling about matches and hearts. Something must have gone wrong with the app, somehow the algorithm had messed up and matched them. Or… or his best friend is an ass who managed to finagle this somehow. “What did you put in my profile? It must be something in the profile -” Yuuri’s twitchy fingers try to navigate the app, searching for his profile and failing miserable in their nervous state. Phichit hooks the phone from his hand and huffs.

“Hey, there's nothing wrong with my profile, look!” With expert ease Phichit pulls up the profile, headed with a picture of himself from their dorm room in Detroit when Phichit had snuck a pic of him half dressed and mused after a long day of skating. Their tiny bathroom spills light over his shoulders, hiding the pudge of his stomach as it cascades over his back. His features are backlit throwing his face into sharp angles. It looks… good, actually and he's shocked he's never come across the image on Phichit’s Instagram feed.

Then he realises that Phichit has been sneaking pictures of him getting undressed and decides his best friend is going to have to perish.

“Where did you get that picture?!”

“Yuuri, if you think I haven't been stockpiling pictures of you in various states of undress for precisely this eventuality then I can't believe I ever counted you as my best friend!” Phichit gasps, covering his heart with one hand while he swipes through the images attached to the profile that will lead to Yuuri’s doom. They're actually all quite nice… “Anyway, the profile, see for yourself -”

Hi, this is Yuuri’s best friend Phichit Chulanont, writing this because I'm being paid by the word!

Yuuri Katsuki is a world-class Figure Skater with blades sharp enough to pierce any man's heart, and a Triple Axel that’ll bring every one of you to your knees. He's dedicated, downright terrifying when he's trying to learn a new jump, and has a competitive streak a mile wide that can make him seem like a jerkface but he just loves to challenge himself.

Yuuri loves Music, Dancing, Poodles, and Figure Skating (go figure lol). He's kind, funny and smart, the whole package! Unless he's on the training diet, then he gets a little fighty and growly (but you might be into that, who am I to judge).

Swipe right, I promise you won't regret it!

Which again, isn't terrible considering what it could have been…

“I get fighty?”

“I only speak the truth.” Phichit shrugs easily.

Okay, it must be something wrong with the app then, the matching algorithm gone awry or some kind of mistake… When he relays this to Phichit the concept is waved away with a derisive snort. “Or, maybe you're just Nikiforov’s type.”

“If that's the case he has terrible taste in men.”

“You think you're not good enough?”

“No, I think Victor's standards aren't high enough!” Yuuri is about to expand upon this point, that Victor deserves an adonis of stunning beauty and grace, when his phone chirps in Phichit’s hand.

It's from Victor. Victor Nikiforov.

There's a scuffle between himself and Phichit that he wins only by the skin of his teeth, emerging victorious after soaking his best friend with his still wet towel. The screen is lit, notification sitting proudly and waiting for his notice. His fingers are shaking again as he unlocks the phone and opens the apps inbox.

Hi Yuuri! ヾ(^ω^*)

What the actual fuck.

He's on autopilot as he gets to his feet, hair still damp and grabbing a pair of jeans abandoned in the floor. He drags them on and quickly finds a t-shirt in the chaos that is his suitcase, only realising that Phichit is talking to him as he grabs a pair of trainers and pulls them over his now socked feet.

“Yuuri, what are you doing? You need to reply to Victor!”

“I'm going to reply, he's in the hotel bar with Christophe Giacometti, he posted on Instagram about it twenty minutes ago. I'm going to go and tell him he has terrible taste in men.”

“Yuuri, that's -”

“What I'm going to do and you're not stopping me. Back soon.” Yuuri doesn't wait for an answer, fuelled by the absolute need to diffuse this situation as soon as possible. It's not until he's at the hotel bar, inches away from Victor and proclaiming: “You swiped right!” at him.

Victor Nikiforov, five time Grand Prix Gold medalist and current world record holder for both Short and Free men's Figure Skating Program, looks slightly surprised at being accosted in a hotel bar by a man he's never actually spoken to. Well, Victor had spoken to him once he supposes, if you count asking him for a picture at the 2015 GPF as talking.

There's a beat of silence, a lot of eye contact, and Victor schooling his features into a smile before he replies, “Yuuri, lovely to see you! You didn't reply to my messages!”

“Messages?” Yuuri fishes his phone from his pocket and sure enough there are more notifications along with the first. “I don't understand.”

“Nor do I if I'm honest,” Victor agrees amicably. “You seem very upset, Yuuri.”

“I… you swiped right, on me.” Yuuri is hoping emphasis is the problem here, so he stresses the words heavily, hoping to contextualise his horror. Victor only tilts his head a little, running his speculative gaze over Yuuri’s worn out hoodie and creased jeans. Yuuri knows this look, he's seen it on campus and at house parties during college, he's seen it in clubs and bars when he's been worse the wear for cocktails and dancing. He's even seen that look in Victor's eye before, on billboards and aftershave ads. He's never seen it on Victor directed at him before though.

“Yes, I did.”

This is ridiculous.

He takes the empty stool beside Victor, darting a glance at the man and receiving an approving nod in return. The bartender, who had been studiously disinterested in them appears and Yuuri orders an iced water before he can overthink it and order Gin instead.

“Why?” Yuuri asks, not expecting the curious look he earns from Victor.

“Why did I swipe right?” Victor asks, Yuuri nods and sips at his newly appeared water. “Because you seem nice, because you have nice eyes.”

“But you could have anyone… You must have terrible taste in men if you’d pick someone like me.” A loser like me, an idiot whose anxiety keeps them from landing a program… He doesn't say it aloud, but he knows Victor hears the underlying context.

“Don't you think that's my decision to make?” Victor asks coolly.

“Well, yes obviously, but you could do so much better than…” He gestures to his rumpled hoodie. “I mean look at you!”

“For a compliment that's not really what I'm into.” Victor grins, then he turns on his stool, facing Yuuri and looking suddenly serious. “I remember you, from the Grand Prix Final in Sochi.”

“Oh God no.” Yuuri whispers to his water, hoping for a rescue but the glass remains ultimately still a glass, sweating against his fingertips as Victor tsks next to him.

“Yuuri, no listen. Please?” Victor is waiting, watching him imploringly and Yuuri gives him a weak nod to continue. The Grand Prix Final had been less than good, he hadn't made it back the last two seasons. “I saw you the day of the finals, I wanted to speak to you then. I even tried, remember? But I guess I approached it wrong or something because you didn't seem very happy to see me. I had intended to try and speak to you at the banquet but you never showed.”

Yes, Yuuri remembers it vividly. He hadn't gone to the banquet because he was so swollen from crying he'd refused to open the door to Celestino, sending his coach in lieu of himself and hiding in the chilly hotel room.

“After that, I went home and trained and walked my poodle and did all the things I normally did, but I also started watching you. I looked up your old programs, I checked out your social media…”

“But why?”

“Because you make music with your body.” Victor smiles softly, and then adds. “And you have an incredibly nice ass.” Then adds as an afterthought, “And Phichit seems to think a lot of you, considering the profile he made you.”

Yuuri groans at his water again. “Oh no, you read that?”

“He seems very taken with you.”

“He called me a competitive jerkface!”

“There's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, Yuuri.” Victor tips him a wink.

He's about to come up with a snappy retort, something about showing Victor what real competition is, when his phone buzzes on the bar and lights up, Phichit’s name attached to text that Yuuri can't make out at this distance.

Dude I'm gonna need you to do me a solid and make yourself very, very scarce for the next couple of hours. (Unless you're already making other things with far more interesting people.) Either way I've got some Swiss to eat and you probably don't want to hear any of the details. Love you (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

Yuuri groans once more, this time Victor chuckles beside him and shrugs, “Well that explains where Christophe ran off to at least. I was about to turn in but I suppose we're both at a loose end now…”

“Seems like it.” Yuuri fires off a reply, mostly consisting of table flip emojis and exclamation points.

“Well, if you like… We could keep each other company?” Victor gives him a small smile, ingratiating and warm and hopeful, and Yuuri can't find it in him to say no.

Thank you so much for letting me write this, I loved every second of it (and I’m totally going to love writing the nsfw part of it tomorrow 0:)

[knittergirl80]

Heartland rewatch/liveblog

Episode 502 -Amy was having a nice time working with Spartan until Mallory came to bug her about Ty moving out. - Jack wants to know what’s up with Miranda and Shane and how much longer he has to lie to Amy and Lou. -Amy is trying to be positive about Ty moving, but you can tell she doesn’t like it. -Go away, Mallory.

-Janice brought a horse back for Tim to partner with her on. -Amy misses Ty. -Ty has a family of raccoons living under the trailer. Caleb’s solution is to shoot them. -Scott helped Ty set up some traps for the raccoons. -Janice is trying to deter Tim from contacting Miranda. Her motives aren’t exactly pure. -Scott doesn’t like how Janice is training Cisco. She’s being her usual intense self. -Jack isn’t wrong about Janice’s influence on Tim. -Aw, Amy and Ty have a date. And Mallory is being a creepy stalker with the play by play. -Ty can’t sleep with those raccoons making all that racket. - Jack came to pick Tim up at the crack of dawn for coffee. -Amy is trying to get Janice to not be so Janice-y with the horse. - Jack is taking Tim to Moose Jaw to see Miranda. -“Tuck and roll. You’ll be responsible for my death. Promises, promises.” Just some comedy gold from Jack and Tim. -Janice doesn’t want to work with Amy. Shocking. - Amy is taking Cisco to Heartland because Janice won’t listen to anyone’s advice. -Miranda is moving. Again. And Tim stepped in it with her. Again. -Mallory is making Amy get “date ready.” -Aw, Amy and Ty look great. Mallory’s tired of hearing it though. -One of the raccoons got into the trailer. Now it’s trashed. So much for Ty and Amy’s date there. They improvised though. - Lou thinks her mother-in-law is terrible. -There’s only one bed in the motel room Jack got and jerkface Tim took it. Sure, make the old man with arthritis sleep on the floor. -Mallory was playing games with Jake about the dance. She did want for it to go somewhere. -Jack isn’t letting Miranda off the hook. -Ty knows Amy too well. He knew she’d race him. -Miranda isn’t going to move after all. I don’t think Janice is too happy about it. -Ty finally caught the raccoons. Sheep River is a good place to release them, although I liked Amy’s suggestion of Janice’s trailer.

[justsoyoudonthaveto]

For some reason, I woke up super early on a Saturday morning, so I’m back in the basement for this movie, whose title alone makes me cringe – something about bridal deadlines just piss me off.

We see Caryn in the past, a precocious teenage girl who thinks Romeo & Juliet is lame, throwing things away for love. She’s also a messy person who has it all organized in her mind. Sure, that’s a thing.

Caryn now in the present is at a bar for a party. Her best friend wants to get pregnant, Caryn has a boyfriend who doesn’t come to the events, so her best friend thinks he’s a loser. For some reason, there is a fortune teller in this bar, who tells best friend that she’ll have a baby soon, and tells Caryn she’ll get a ring by spring, or she’ll never get married. That’s a very sucky prediction.

So now we’re in the countdown – 62 days til Spring: Caryn is a business consultant, meeting Tom Halsey who runs a surplus college supply company that makes sense in movieland. She’s super perky and overwhelmed by being in a warehouse. She’s going to help his company, and he thinks she’s cute.

Fortune Teller Prediction #1 – Best Friend is Pregnant. But Caryn is skeptical about her prediction. She also gets a FaceTime message from her loser boyfriend, and friends think he’ll propose, but I say he’s going to dump her butt. He’s never even introduced her to his family, and she loves him, she guesses. This is a solid foundation for a marriage. Her parents aren’t thrilled.

Dinner with the Boyfriend – he’s very uber-male, where he pats a stray hair on her head, and criticizes the fact that the waiter put the spoon on the left. But called it, he dumped her because she doesn’t want to get married. “She’s not ‘marriage material'”) But that’s a valid point, as she has never mentioned that she wants to get married, like, ever. Boyfriend is played by the guy who is always the crap boyfriend in these movies. We hopefully won’t see him again.

Tom the business guy sleeps in his office, has an obnoxious ringtone, and eats generic Cracker Jack (“Cracklin Fun”) for breakfast. Tom has invited her to join their company bowling league. And she’s awful, so that’s good. And she gets her own league t-shirt. Tom has a funny uncle who thinks she’s pretty. But she also has the realization that she’s needs closure about why all her relationships have failed so off she goes to meet prior boyfriends.

High School Boyfriend Rory – He wanted someone high maintenance, and she’s low maintenance, and she didn’t believe in romance. He’s married with two kids and a sincerely high maintenance wife and he’s happy.

Oh man, we’re back with Loser Boyfriend? He’s an insurance person or something. Caryn has a friend who needs insurance, so they’re having a conversation. Loser Boyfriend still misses Caryn, though. Damnit, he’s going to come back into the picture to give Caryn the Conflicting Times.

45 Days Til Spring, she’s meeting college boyfriend Dave. Dave is in a relationship but they’re not having kids – he and his girlfriend are committed to just spending their money on themselves. Ugh. This guy is a craphole. He broke up with her in college ‘to see what she would do.’ Well, she didn’t fight for this guy, so I say she won the brass ring.

I’ve just realized that Caryn still lives with her parents.

All of Tom’s co-workers know that he likes Caryn. He wants to get serious about someone, and apparently Caryn meets all the geek criteria of this company.

Boyfriend #3 from Business School – She wasn’t in love with him, not the way he was with her. But he’s ok with it. Tom overhears and has to figure out why she’s seeing so many guys. Friend who needs insurance tells Caryn that Loser Boyfriend is missing her, so Caryn thinks maybe she’ll try to get him back. That’s dumb, Caryn. Loser Boyfriend is a turd. Tom owns a successful business and bought a new shirt for you. How long am I going to have to watch this before she figures this out? As we’re at the halfway mark, I’m guessing another hour.

Ugh…Caryn just went to Loser Boyfriend’s office to say that she Is marriage material. Ew. But they are back together and Caryn thinks they’re getting married, and pregnant best friend is calling shenanigans on this whole thing.

Tom has swoony eyes on Caryn during their business meeting. He doesn’t know she got back together with Loser Boyfriend. He finally screws up the courage to ask her out, and she has to let him know. She also seems conflicted about the fact that she states ‘they’re going to get married.’ And Tom is a lovely man who tells her to invite Loser Boyfriend bowling. Someone I don’t see “Mr. Spoon Goes on the Right” loving bowling in a polyester shirt.

Since Caryn still lives with her parents, she sees what a nice relationship they have, like now, as she sees them learning to waltz in their living room. She’s never gonna dance with Loser Boyfriend in the living room. She also tries on her mom’s wedding dress. She confronts her mom for giving up a cushy job in New York for getting married, and mom is like, girl, what planet are you on – it wasn’t a sacrifice. She says if you don’t think every day with your partner and be happy that they are in your life, then you are not going to have a happy marriage. True. Dat.

Oh man, Loser Boyfriend is WAY TOO COMPETITIVE at this bowling thing. He’s so sucky, he has to give Caryn bowling tips, and all of the geeks of Tom’s company think this dude is a jerkface, and tell Tom he should steal her away from him. Even though girls aren’t property and no one can steal anyone, I would wholeheartedly agree to this plan.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and she made his favorites – which include kale. No one whose favorites include kale is a good guy. Her plan for a romantic dinner and movie got out the window when he totally snores through the whole thing. But we also find out that her favorite romantic movie is Tom’s romantic movie, too!

Caryn asks Tom his opinion of Loser Boyfriend. We just established that Loser Boyfriend irons his jeans. Ew.

Oh, so maybe Caryn doesn’t live with her parents, she’s just over there a lot? It’s unclear. Caryn is now having hallucinations about her life with Loser Boyfriend and she’s not happy about any of them.

OK PROBLEM. Best Friend who’s Pregnant went from just announcing she’s expecting to a full 6-7 month belly in a time frame that went from January to February. Is this a bionic baby?

Tom’s favorite uncle is in the hospital with a broken ankle. Caryn and Tom have a loaded, metaphor driven conversation about wanting to be with the right person, with longing looks and he’s going to run after her in the hospital, isn’t he? Yes, he is. Outside the hospital, he has to tell her that Loser Boyfriend is a Loser Boyfriend. This realization makes her cry, because she.knows.the.truth. Girl, we all know the truth.

It’s 14 days to Spring. She’s having dinner with Loser Boyfriend at the restaurant where he dumped her a few weeks ago. My son just woke up and was reading over my shoulder. He said I misspelled Caryn. No, that’s how she spells it, as witnessed by her bowling shirt.

At the restaurant, Caryn has to give Loser Boyfriend the talk that she is breaking up with him, and he’s not that sad about it. Duh.

5 days to Spring – her Amaryllis plant has bloomed and she’s happy about it. She has decided that the fortune teller “ring by spring” thing is hooey and she’s going to live out her life by herself. She’s ok with it, sort of?

The people at the surplus company have thrown Caryn a party – she’s helped them be more productive, and it’s her last day, and that’s nice. Tom and Caryn are quoting Stephen Root’s character from Office Space, so I approve of their relationship. She tells Tom she dumped Loser Boyfriend, and he immediately asks her out, and she says no, she has to be by herself because the Fortune Teller said so. Tom calls shenanigans on that one, as do I, because this is a Hallmark movie.

The day before Spring – it’s snowed, and her Amaryllis are cold. She’s pensively looking at them eating her “Cracklin Fun” before heading off to the bowling alley. Tom’s uncle is up and walking, which is amazing for an old guy who broke his ankle. No cane, no crutches, no nothing. Seriously, it’s like time has sped up!

Caryn meets Fortune Teller in the grocery store, who is freaked out that Caryn doesn’t have a ring on her finger. They have an impromptu reading in the middle of the street. Fortune Teller doubles down on the ‘ring by spring’ but that Caryn misunderstood – she’s not destined to be single if she doesn’t get engaged by Spring, although I’m sure everyone else watching this movie interpreted it the same way so whatever, Fortune Teller.

Tom at the bowling alley is waiting for her to show up, but Caryn is too busy having The Sad Times in her car – and kudos to make-up artist for giving her non-waterproof mascara. But she shows up at the bowling alley, even if she’s having The Sad Times. Tom gives her more “Cracklin Fun” and my son just cracked the whole thing – she’s going to get a ring in the box!!! Which she just pulls out of the box. My son is so smart.

Always cynical of marriage, a confident business consultant finally gets a wake-up call when a fortuneteller predicts she will have a ring by spring, or she will never marry. As she scrambles to avoid a destiny of a lifetime alone before it?s too late, she meets a friendly guy at her new job and finally opens her mind and future, to the possibilities of love. Photo: Rachel Boston & Kirby Morrow Photo Credit: Copyright 2013 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Bettina Strauss

So even though Tom didn’t propose he kind of actually gave her a ring and she’s not going to be alone anymore even if they haven’t gone out for dinner or anything and they hug and they’re happy and my son says this is way too cheesy, but honestly, it’s a good kind of cheesy, and we’re done.

As annoying as Caryn was in this movie, I felt that this time, the writer really tried to give her quirks and interest beyond her main plot point (Office Space, etc) so I wasn’t too upset by her. And Tom was cool, even if his very gruff voice started to sound like McGruff the Crime Dog. So good for you, Hallmark. This one is pretty ok. I still have like 8 more movies in my queue, so don’t think I’ll be revisiting this one in a while, but maybe I will, you know, just so you don’t have to.

PS now all boys in this house are awake, and my basement has been invaded. Gotta go!

So much in this one! Fortune Tellers! Bowling! Loser Boyfriends! Magic Time that speeds up Pregnancy! All this, plus a discussion on kale. I watched A Ring By Spring, just so you don't have to. For some reason, I woke up super early on a Saturday morning, so I'm back in the basement for this movie, whose title alone makes me cringe - something about bridal deadlines just piss me off.

[bladesheart]

like this if you think viren should pay soren support

[bladesheart]

hi im protesting my gay dads not loving me by running away with a human

[bladesheart]

“at least fake mom can’t take me from callum.”