#jerk off caption
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selenasgirltiffany · 12 days ago
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yourbrattyesme · 3 months ago
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Baby let's be more exclusive ... tip me.
You know how horny I get when you spoil me.
You get so hard when you you treat me like a dumb little slut.
Plus the profile pic is really me 🎀
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selenasgirltiffany · 1 month ago
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Mistress Emma knows what is best!
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N.S.F.W. “You’re a beta. It’s not your fault you drew the “short straw” but it is your responsibility to deal with it when your partner needs bigger. Remember, masculinity isn't working for you, (at all !), so accept your beta status and either learn to feminize or what it is to be a cuckold."
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southernsecrets · 8 months ago
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DM me if you want to masterbate/goon with me
I’m not gonna pay to please myself just wanna chat with somebody while I’m jerking off
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southernsecrets · 1 month ago
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My clover plug may be to heavy, it’s completely metal I should add 😆 …. Falls out sometimes..
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yourbrattyesme · 3 months ago
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I have an oral fixation ... baby it ain't just you ... I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR DICK 2. 🎀
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missdynamighttt · 2 months ago
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watching porn with bf! katsuki bakugo will somehow turn into a bet to see who will give in first.
when you ask him if you could watch porn together, how could he say no to you, his girl? more so when you basically riled him up to convince him.
"bub, can we watch porn together?" you look at him, your legs resting in his lap as the both of you lounged on the couch.
katsuki's eyes widen at your directness, his jaw slightly dropping at your question. he scoffs out of disbelief, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
"you're real damn blunt, pervert," he grins at your pout, stroking your thighs with firm, gentle squeezes.
"i'm not doing it for weird reasons! just.." you shrugged. "curious to see what happens, i guess? i dunno how to explain.."
he sighs, shaking his head. his hand reaches out to ruffle your hair with a grin. "you're lucky you're adorable. fuck it, why not?"
you grin, leaning closer to him, giving his cheek a kiss. "knew you'd come around. come to think of it, i bet you will jerk off to it first."
his eyes narrow at you and he scoffs. "that confident, huh?"
"with how hot you think i am and all? totally."
"like you don't think i'm hot too. wanna bet, sweets?"
"definitely. ground rules: don't touch yourself. and no touching each other. and i mean holding hands, hugs, and kisses. not just feeling each other up."
"tch, fine," katsuki scoffs. "no looking away to calm down. only when we talk. winner gets braggin' rights and loser lives with the eternal knowledge that the winner is better."
"fine," you scoff back. "you're gonna give in first, 'nyway. since you can’t go a single morning without pulling me into bed again."
katsuki's eyes narrow at you again, this time pouting at you with his cheeks flushed. "says the brat clingier than a damn koala after sex."
"oh, you're so on."
but little did you know, this would be harder than you thought.
you've set up your laptop on the coffee table across the couch, scrolling through the mediocre home page porn in incognito as you sit next to your boyfriend.
you were almost reluctant to continue but knowing him, he would definitely egg you on about being a coward. because one thing about your boyfriend, katsuki, was that he really wanted to win at everything.
"wanna watch?" you look at katsuki with a grin, the video on display captioned: "I hope the NEIGHBOURS were pleased with WHAT THEY SAW!", the preview of the video showing a couple standing by the window, fucking. it wasn't really your thing but you wanted to see how he'd react.
katsuki glances at the laptop before giving you a skeptical look, his tone firm. "fuck no."
"why not? whats wrong with it?"
"just.. no," he shakes his head, a sly grin slowly creeping onto his face as he looks at you. "one second. technically haven't started yet, yeah?"
he leans in, his lips meeting your cheek in a soft, quick kiss before pulling back. his fingers linger, stroking your cheek in a gentle, affectionate gesture. "just pick somethin' else, sweets."
you roll your eyes while wearing a fond grin. you're almost tempted to call him out on how affectionate he was but you didn't want him to stop. you couldn't help but find it endearing and cute.
but after awhile, you and katsuki realize pornhub's terrible acting and weird angles wasn't really working.
"no, too weird. it looks awkward. and fake."
"no, the guy is givin' me the ick. looks homeless."
"no, it looks.. painful. why is it so stretched?"
"no. wait, you're into that? i'm not opposed to it, i just think it looks weird when they do it. just sayin', if you wanna try it.."
so, you go on twitter, looking for porn accounts and already finding better alternatives.
finally, your eyes settle on a compilation of video captioned: "breeding selection 🖤" , the previews of the videos showing various faceless girls getting fucked sloppily and creampied by their partner.
this was it. it wasn't exactly your best plan but you were depedent on him getting turned on by the video and your mere presence to win the bet. and if anything turned him on, it would be the thought of breeding his pretty little girlfriend.
you glance at him from the side, taking in his relaxed demeanor as he leans back with his arms crossed, eyes fixed on the laptop as if there wasn't porn on the screen.
"this good with you, boyfie?"
he looks at you and fuck, you can practically feel the heat radiating from his gaze. his eyes rake over you, taking in every curve and contour of your body with a hungry look, like he's undressing you with his eyes, imagining what he'd do to you.
"mhm, 'ts fine."
you nod, going back to the laptop to play the video, stupidly thinking: there was no way he'd be able to play dirty, especially when he can't touch you. but no.
the video plays, only a few seconds showing the girl's rear. the guy squeezes her ass, the cum dripping out of her pussy and in between her swollen folds, down to her thighs as he plays with her ass.
and you know what katsuki does? this man talks you through it, saying the most filthy, lewd shit with a cheeky grin. this man plays dirty by talking dirty.
"goddamn. see the cum, just drippin' out of her? bet you want me fill you up real bad now, don't you? wanna recreate that with me, sweets?"
your thighs clench involuntarily, your body betraying your inner desire. you stare back at him with a glare, feeling a familiar ache settle between your legs. "we do that on a daily basis, katsuki."
"'m just sayin'," katsuki grins, thinking: perfect. you're getting horny. "the idea of pumpin' you full, watchin' my cum drip out of you.."
he was just so desperate to see you rub your clit silly so that he can do it too without admitting defeat. his dick was huge but his pride could compete.
you clear your throat, glaring at his cheeky grin before quickly playing the next video. it's longer, around 8 minutes. it has a better angle, showing the guy's dick disappearing in and out of the girl's pussy, her doughy ass hitting his abdomen. he slams into her as she moans softly around his cock, sticky from their shared slick.
you feel hot and tight in your own skin, your throat going dry. you felt your sore nipples harden as you painfully clench down on nothing, tempted to just subtly grind against the couch for a second. fuck. it hasn't even been 5 minutes yet you were so, so wet.
your boyfriend noticed. and he certainly wasn't of any help.
"shit," katsuki leans down close enough to whisper in your ear, his breath hitting your skin, but far away enough so that he wasn't touching you. "you wet already, sweets?"
"i'm not. shut up and watch the damn porn."
"aww, don't be like that. look at my pants, baby, c'mon."
you bite your bottom lip before your eyes reluctantly dart down to his pants. fuck. his boner was so fucking obvious, it didn't help that he was wearing grey sweats. you were already picturing him naked, imagining how your cunny would look like taking in his dick.
"see? i'm so fuckin' hard for you, baby, it hurts," he sighs, looking at the tent in his pants before whispering in your ear. "don't you wanna take care of me, hm?"
a small sigh escapes your lips as you try to steady your breathing, your eyes darting everywhere but at katsuki. your thoughts consumed by the sight of him, despite your attempts to remain composed.
"you're mean," you huff.
"baby, c'mon. i'll take real good care of you, i promise," he grins at you. "just gotta touch me, yeah?"
you pout again before your eyes return to the screen, thinking your only solution was to ignore him.
although, it wasn't any help as you watched the cum drip out of the girl's pussy before he fucks it back into her, when you wanted nothing more than for him to do the same to you.
he put some distance, and you thought: okay. some time to calm yourself down. but just when you thought katsuki couldn't outdo himself, you hear the ruffling of pants, looking down to see him stripping himself of his clothes.
you look up at him as you feel your face get hot from embarrassment. "hey, what are yo-"
"hm?" he looks back at you, blinking innocently. he throws his clothes unceremoniously somewhere, leaving him in only his boxers as he holds his hands up in surrender. "what? it's hot, sweets. this doesn't count 'nyway, right? besides, 'm not touchin' anythin'."
you huff, pouting at him with a glare, trying not to admire his muscles. that's the game he wanted to play? you glanced down again, a clear fucking mistake. you almost felt drool down your chin as you admired his body, tempted to take his boxers off and just go wild—
you swallowed, looking back up at him. you get an idea. if you can't beat them, then... "you wanna play that game? fine."
you reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric over your head, revealing your bare skin to his eyes. tossing the shirt aside, you slowly tug down on your shorts, sliding them down your legs until you're left standing in just your bra and panties.
katsuki's jaw tightens and his muscles tense the moment you started undressing. he clenched his fists, the effort it takes him not to pounce on you was almost physically painful. he takes in the sight of your nearly naked body, his mouth going dry at the sight of you in your bra and panties.
the porn playing on the laptop is long forgotten as he stares at you. because fuck porn when he has such a gorgeous girl right in front of him. his girl.
"the hell are you doin'?" his voice is strained, getting the courage to look away with flushed cheeks. his eyes dart back to the screen, focusing with his arms crossed.
"hm?" you look up at him, blinking innocently like he did. you put your clothes away somewhere and held your hands up in surrender, like he did. "relax. its hot for me too. besides, doesn't count, right?"
"damn it. doesn't count but it's damn well torture."
"what's stopping you from fucking me, hm?"
"you know damn well whats stoppin' me. quit testin' me or i swear to god, i'm gonna fuck you so hard after this."
you laugh, trying to ignore the ache in between your legs as a cheeky smile plays on your lips. "'m just saying. i bet it'd feel really good, y'know. having you inside of me..."
his teeth clench at your words, his hands clenching into fists to keep himself in check. "goddamn it. baby, you're killin' me here."
"bub... all you gotta do is touch me and i can make the pain go away."
"sweets... why are you torturing me?" he groans, his hands clenching onto the couch as he glares at you.
"i want you. fuck, i need you. damn it, you've seen how fuckin' hard i am. so why are you makin' me wait, hm?" his voice is low, almost whining about how much he craves you. how needy he is to be inside you.
"i wanna win too," you bite your bottom lip, almost tempted to fold.
"fuck," he grits out, his eyes closing briefly as he runs his hand through his hair. he looks at you again, his gaze filled with frustration and need. "sweetheart.. you're a pain in the ass, you know that?"
a sly smile spreads across your lips as you lean in closer to him, just close enough that your breath tickles his skin, but not touching him. you were getting there. on top of him not making eye contact, you could've sworn his boner twitched.
"i know. but... please take care of me, katsuki," you whispered, hearing his breath hitch as yours fans across his skin. "i know you wanna."
his eyes darken as he looks down at you, his resolve almost wavering. "oh, i do. i really do, sweets."
that's the last thing you hear before katsuki is finally on you, his movements quick and urgent as he slams his lips onto yours. he kisses you like he's starving, his lips hot and angry against yours, desperate to have his fill of you but take out his frustration on you too.
katsuki pulls away, glaring at you before helping you out of your soaked panties as you help him out of his boxers, his hard cock springing out and stood at his abdomen.
"wanna take care of me that badly, huh?" you grin, reaching for his cock, stroking it up as you thumb his throbbing tip leaking with pre.
his breath hitches, hissing before he reaches down your folds and rubs your swollen clit, your soft moans echoing in his ears. "shut the fuck up. you won't even be able to think, after i'm done with you."
katsuki grunts, aligning himself inside of you, gasping at the softness of your wet, velvet walls. and as he thrusts his cock into your dumb little cunny, he recreates exactly what happened in those videos.
"whats the matter?" he taunts in your ear as he folds your legs near your shoulders, fucking you into mating press. his body covers yours completely, you can feel his weight pressing down on you. "you fuckin' wanted this, right?"
"a-ah, i do..." you gasped, sore nipples feeling the skin of his pecs. "you're just.. mad i won.."
"hah? you callin' me a sore loser?"
"if— oh... if the condom... fits."
suddenly, you squealed from the sudden thrust, whimpering as he slams his cock deeper inside of you, almost kissing your cervix as you feel his balls slapping against your folds.
"won't fuckin' fit 'nyway cause i'm fuckin' you raw— shit," he gasps, desperately rutting himself into you, chasing your release and his. "feels so fuckin' tight, sweets, holy shit..."
"katsukiii," you moaned his name, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as he fucks you dumb. "i-i can't, anymore, please—"
"shhh, you can take it," he huffs before leaning down to give you an affectionate, reassuring kiss. his lips soft and gentle against yours as you wrap your arms around his neck.
he draws back from the kiss, his lips leaving yours with a soft, wet pop. "you can take it, can't you, baby?"
you whine and squirm against him, a desperate, needy sound leaving your lips. you nod, the words failing you in that moment, silently begging him to keep going, to give you more of the pleasure that you need. he smiles at you, leaning down quickly to give your cheek a kiss.
"atta girl," he murmured with pride, kissing down your jawline. his mouth is hot against your skin as he peppers your collar bones and chest with open-mouthed kisses. "that's my girl."
"k-katsuki," you pant, your hips rolling against his as your body begs for the sweet, sweet release that only he can give you. "m-m' gonna.. c-cum.."
"yeah? you gonna cum for me?" he groaned. he wants to see you lose yourself in pleasure. he craves to be the one to bring you to your high. "you wanna cum for me, pretty girl?"
"please," you whimper, your voice shaky and needy as your eyes meet his pleadingly. "please, yeah, m' gonna cum for you, please just—"
your words cut off as you let out a soft cry, your head tilting back further into the couch as your body trembles with the need to let go, to give in to the pleasure that's threatening to overwhelm you.
"cum for me, sweets," he grunts, his hips rocking against yours. "show me how much you like it when i fuck you like this, c'mon."
and that's all it takes— clenching down on him and burying himself inside of you—and you're both gone.
your body tenses, a gasp of pleasure escaping your lips as you feel him cum inside of you, bodies shaking with the force of your release and his. your hips press against his as he relaxes into you, your nails digging onto his (glorious) back.
katsuki pants, taking a moment to admire you. the way your chest rises and falls with each breath, teetering on the edge from your high as you cling to him. like a koala.
"you did so good, sweets," katsuki murmured. he steadies himself beneath you and pulls his cock out, pressing the tip against your folds, waiting for the moment of his dreams. he almost has hearts in his eyes when he watches the cum drip out of you, going down his tip as he pushes it inside you again. "so damn good."
"i asked if you wanted to recreate those videos," he grins when he hears you gasp, feeling the tip of his cock rub your folds, squirming against him as you bit your lip. "i'll make sure i get all the details right by breeding the shit out of you."
and as the night wares on, you both collapse onto the couch, panting and exhausted, a tangle of limbs wrapped around each other, cuddled up close after having the most mind-numbing sex.
"so.." you look up at him with a lazy smile, laying your head on his chest. "loser lives with the eternal knowledge the winner is better, huh?"
he groaned, closing his eyes for a minute before staring at you as he runs his fingers through your hair. "sweets... you're real fuckin' lucky i love you. otherwise, i really would've went above and beyond and made sure i knocked you up."
"i wouldn't be opposed to that."
katsuki narrows his eyes at you, his fingers flicking your forehead. "don't tempt me, brat."
you rub your forehead with a pout, sticking your tongue out at him. "so mean."
he scoffs, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist, gently but firmly pulling your hand away, hovering his lips to where he flicked earlier to give your forehead a soft kiss. "get some sleep, sweetheart."
"fine. i love you too, bub. goodnight."
"tch. love you more, dummy."
and honestly? katsuki doesn't need porn to get his dick hard. not when he has you. his personal porn star, his gorgeous girlfriend, and of course— his favorite person.
‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ inspired by my ex 🧍🏻‍♀️ hope this was to your liking and i hope you enjoyed, i apologize if it seems too.. lewd? nyways, i'll start working on these requests and the older brother's best friend/ best friend's older brother trope with katsuki (i cannot choose), comment if you wanna be tagged 💜💜
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sumbarbietingz · 1 month ago
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Onlyfans!Toji is the most popular content creator on the platform right now, due to his heaven sent physique and his impressive sexual performance
Onlyfans!Toji gets shitloads of collaboration requests daily, and he accepts depending on how popular the girl is. If she doesn’t have at least 400k followers on Twitter, she can forget about ever getting a response. Which is, often the case. He’s a paper chaser after all.
All it takes is a 10-second sneak peek of Onlyfans!Toji fucking his pocket pussy, or his new partner for him to gain hundred of subscribers, thousands of likes and comments.
Onlyfans!Toji is the type to write captions such as “You wish I used you like I’m using this fleshlight don’t you dirty girl?” and get everyone in his comments riled up, crying and begging to be used by him too
Onlyfans!Toji is thinking about accepting another collab but when he scrolls down his tl, he sees you. You posted a naked picture of your upper body, your brown breasts covered in cream and sprinkles with the caption “Come clean it off baby👅” followed with thousands of likes, comments and retweets. With his dick already hard from the pic, he checks your profile, and finds out you’re also on OF. And you have as much followers as he does.
While scrolling down your page, Onlyfans!Toji’s cock gets even harder as his eyes land on a video of you shoving a dildo in your fat pussy, your lips gripping your thick toy as it stretches you. The only sounds coming out from his speaker are your beautiful wanton moans and the suction noises your pussy makes as you’re fucking yourself.
Onlyfans!Toji usually doesn’t ask for collaborations, but after spending the last minutes watching your content while jerking off like a teenager, he decides it’s time to dm you. You’re a bombshell, you make some dope content and you’re popular? Why not having fun while making banks?
Part 2 is out!!!
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jincapableoflove · 15 days ago
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A Jar Full of Us | one-shot
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: best friend! jungkook, best friend! reader, college! au, unrequited love (?), idiots to lovers, best friends to ??? to lovers, angst, fluff, implied smut.
Summary: You never meant for him to find them. Hundred little confessions, folded away, never meant to be read. But now, they’re in his hands. And Jungkook—your best friend—knows everything. But he doesn’t say a word. He just watches you, with that same unreadable expression, like he’s waiting for something. And this Valentine’s Day, you might just have to find out what.
Inspired by: To All the Boys I've Loved Before
Word count: 10.2K+
Warnings: arguments, jungkook is a jerk, misunderstandings (a lottt of it), angstttt, reader and jk are huge idiots, mutual pining, implied smut (its not too detailed so that the story maintains the emotional connectivity), romantic intimacy, tooth-rotting fluff.
MOODBOARD
A/N: HERE IT ISSS! this is the longest fic ive written! tysm for all the support yall have given me in the teaser of this fic. i put out a taglist thinking no one would actually want to be a part of it but so many of yall asked to be tagged 😭 im so grateful! tysm i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writng it. lmk ur thoughts abt it after u read too <3 ALSO HAPPY VALENTINES DAYYY (someone date me pls)
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The door clicks shut behind you as you step into the dorm, kicking off your shoes with a tired sigh. The evening air still clings to your skin, carrying traces of laughter and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s presence.
It had been another perfect night—one filled with inside jokes, stolen bites of each other’s food, and his usual exasperated attempts to get you to study.
Joy, your roommate, is nowhere in sight, giving you the solitude you need. You don’t hesitate. Your steps are purposeful as you cross the room, crouching down beside your bed. With practiced ease, you reach under the frame, fingers brushing against the familiar surface of a small pink, heart-shaped box. You pull it out carefully, as if it were a fragile secret, and place it on your lap.
A soft breath escapes you as you grab a nearby pen and a book, neatly tearing out a tiny slip of paper. The motion is second nature now. Without even thinking, you let your emotions spill onto the paper, crafting a fleeting moment into something permanent.
Tonight’s memory is simple, but it still tugs at your heart. Jungkook had sent you another blurry picture of the moon, captioned with a casual, “Looks kinda pretty, right?” He knew how much you loved the moon—how it fascinated you in a way you could never quite put into words. And he had remembered. Of course, he had remembered.
A fond smile tugs at your lips as you write:
Jungkook remembers the little things.
Once the ink dries, you fold the note with care and add it to the collection. The box is almost full now, brimming with countless tiny confessions—whispers of feelings you’ve never had the courage to say aloud. A hundred little moments, a hundred little thoughts, all dedicated to the boy who had unknowingly stolen your heart.
Jungkook.
Jungkook, your best friend, who always saves you the last bite of his food, even when it’s his favorite. Jungkook, who sends you blurry pictures of the moon just because he knows you love them. Jungkook, who insists on studying with you, despite his major being entirely different from yours, just so he can make sure you actually open a book instead of procrastinating.
This little tradition of yours had started as a joke. One night, after an especially soft moment where Jungkook had wordlessly placed his hoodie over your head because you were shivering, you had scribbled on a piece of paper: Jungkook is warmer than the sun.
You had smiled to yourself as you rolled up the paper and dropped it into the box. It had felt oddly nice—preserving that moment, capturing the feeling of it in something tangible. So you did it again. And again. And again.
Until, one day, you realized you had written over a hundred of them.
You hadn’t meant to fall in love. And you certainly hadn’t planned to confess.
But each tiny slip of paper holds a truth your heart refuses to say aloud.
And you're going to keep it a secret forever.
You met Jungkook almost three years ago, during freshman year. The first time you met him, he had been infuriatingly kind.
You had been struggling under the weight of a precariously tall stack of books, barely able to see over them, when suddenly, a few disappeared from the top. Startled, you looked up to see Jungkook grinning at you, effortlessly holding the books you had nearly dropped.
"You looked like you were about to tip over," he teased, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.
With a playful huff, you had responded, "Maybe I wanted it to tip over."
Jungkook had only laughed, shaking his head. "I'll catch you next time," he had promised.
That night, you had written a tiny note and slipped it into your box: He wants to catch me when I fall, even without me asking.
From that moment on, your friendship grew in ways you hadn’t even noticed at first. Midnight walks and late-night study sessions became routine, pulling you closer together with every shared moment. What had started as swapping notes for the one class you had together turned into sharing secrets. Somewhere along the way, before you even realized it, Jungkook had become your favorite person.
The box was almost full now.
You had written so many things over the years, each note capturing a small piece of him, a fragment of your feelings. Some were simple observations:
Jungkook frowns when he eats something delicious.
His hair is always a mess in the mornings. He hates it, but I love it.
His eyes smile before his lips do.
But one night, you had written something different. Something deeper. Something that felt like the truest thing you had ever put to paper.
I love him.
The moment the ink dried, panic had set in. You had almost torn it up, almost removed it from the box as if keeping it there would somehow make it real. But in the end, you had left it. Because the box was safe. No one was going to see it.
Especially not Jungkook.
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One afternoon, you came back from your classes, ready to relax and unwind before the stress of exams fully set in. You had been looking forward to a quiet evening, maybe even a movie marathon with Jungkook to take your mind off things for a while.
But the moment you stepped into your dorm, you felt something was off.
Joy was sitting on the couch, sipping her coffee, her expression smug—too smug. A knowing smirk curled at the corners of her lips as she watched you walk in, and instantly, your stomach twisted with unease.
You narrowed your eyes. "What did you do?"
"I did you a favor," she said casually, taking another slow sip of her coffee.
A cold shiver ran down your spine. "What favor?" you asked, dread creeping into your voice.
Joy grinned. "I found that little cute box of yours."
Your heart stopped. "What?"
"Don't look at me like that," she waved a hand dismissively, as if what she was about to say wasn’t about to shatter your entire world. "It was just sitting there collecting dust, and I thought—what a perfect Valentine's Day gift for Jungkook. So…I wrapped it up and dropped it off at his place."
Silence.
A deafening, all-consuming silence as her words echoed in your head.
"You WHAT?!"
Your entire body froze in place, your breath catching in your throat as horror washed over you in waves. Your chest felt tight, your pulse roaring in your ears.
Joy merely raised an eyebrow, seemingly unbothered by the sheer panic on your face. "You're welcome," she said cheekily—before promptly sprinting out of the room for her life.
But you couldn’t chase after her. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think past the ringing in your ears.
No. No. No.
This couldn't be happening.
Still desperate to deny the possibility, you dropped to your knees and scrambled to check under your bed, your hands shaking as you reached into the familiar space where you had hidden the box for years.
Empty.
It was gone.
The tiny wooden box that held a hundred little moments, a hundred little secrets—your secrets—was gone.
And now it was in Jungkook's hands.
Of all people…Jungkook.
Jungkook lived in an apartment a little further away from your dorm. The second the realization hit, you bolted out the door without a second thought, heart pounding so hard it nearly drowned out the sound of your footsteps against the pavement.
Your plan was simple—get to his apartment before he did. You knew his habits well enough to guess that he was probably grabbing a late lunch at that fast-food place near campus. If luck was on your side, you still had time.
He hadn’t seen it yet.
He couldn’t have seen it yet.
As you ran, your mind spiraled into chaos, bombarding you with every possible scenario—each one worse than the last.
What if he had already opened it?
What if he read through every single note?
What if he found the one that said I love him?
Your stomach twisted painfully at the thought.
Jungkook was your best friend.
He was your person.
And now, he might know that you wanted to be more than just friends.
The mere thought made your chest tighten as memories of the two of you flashed through your mind. The times you spent together at the arcade, the countless movie nights, the time you and Jungkook had crashed Jimin’s birthday party with a ridiculous amount of booze.
And then…there was that moment.
The moment you almost confessed.
"I wish I could find someone who truly understood me," he had said one night, his voice softer than usual, lost in thought.
And you had almost said it. The words had been on the tip of your tongue, so painfully close—"I do."
But you swallowed them down.
Because what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if saying those words ruined everything?
And now, thanks to Joy, you didn’t have a choice anymore. The truth was out there, sitting in a neatly wrapped box in Jungkook’s apartment.
The thought of his reaction sent your mind into overdrive.
Would he laugh?
Would he think it was weird?
Would he—
Would he reject you?
No. No. No.
You shook your head violently as you rounded the corner, lungs burning from the sprint. You’re going to get there before he does. You’re going to take the box back, and he’s never going to know about it.
That was the plan.
It had to work.
As soon as you reached Jungkook’s apartment building, you barely paused to catch your breath. Your legs ached from running, but panic kept you moving. You made a beeline for the mailbox section in the lobby, frantically scanning the names, searching for his.
Box 109.
You yanked it open.
Empty.
Your stomach sank.
Maybe his roommate took it upstairs? Yeah. That had to be it. Maybe it was sitting untouched on the kitchen counter, still wrapped, still safe, still unseen.
You latched onto that sliver of hope as you rushed up the stairs two at a time, unwilling to wait for the elevator. By the time you reached his floor, your hands were shaking. You raised a fist and knocked on the door, urgency making your knuckles sting.
No response.
You knocked again, harder this time.
Then—finally—you heard shuffling from inside. A few footsteps. The creak of the floorboards. A pause.
The door swung open.
And there he was.
Jungkook.
Standing right in front of you, framed in the dim light of his apartment, wearing an oversized grey hoodie that draped over his frame in a way that shouldn't have been so unfairly attractive. His dark hair was slightly damp, messy from a shower, strands falling into his eyes. His lips were parted in surprise, his brows slightly furrowed, and the expression on his face—confused yet soft, dangerously soft—made your already erratic heartbeat lurch violently.
But then, your gaze dropped to his hands.
And the world stopped.
The box.
The open box.
Your box.
Your secret, sacred collection of unsent confessions, of words meant only for the safety of your own solitude. The pieces of your heart you had never dared to show him.
You felt like you were going to be sick.
No, no, no, no—
"You—" You gasped, barely able to form words, chest rising and falling rapidly as you fought for air. "You opened it?"
Jungkook blinked, holding the box loosely in one hand, fingers curled around the edges as if he had been going through its contents just moments ago. He tilted his head, his expression unreadable.
"Yeah," he said simply, as if the weight of the universe hadn’t just come crashing down on you.
Oh. Oh no.
Your legs wobbled. You had to physically stop yourself from collapsing right there in front of him.
His gaze flickered downward, and you followed it instinctively. In his other hand, he held one of the notes. One of your notes. The handwriting was unmistakably yours, a little smudged, a little rushed, but still legible.
He cleared his throat, then read aloud.
"I don’t know when it happened. But one day, he became my favorite person."
Silence.
It stretched on for what felt like an eternity.
You thought you might actually pass out.
"Jungkook, I—" Your voice cracked, but before you could even attempt to explain, he looked up and met your eyes.
And then, to your absolute horror—
He smiled.
Not a teasing smirk, not an awkward grimace, but a real, genuine, knowing smile. A little shy, a little amused, as if the weight of what he had just discovered didn’t terrify him nearly as much as it did you.
And then—oh god—he spoke again.
"So… do you still think my hair looks best when it’s messy?"
Your breath hitched.
Your brain went blank.
You wanted to scream.
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The change was almost instant.
In the days that followed, Jungkook became… different.
Not in the way you had imagined, though.
You had been bracing yourself for a talk—a conversation where he’d tell you gently, maybe even apologetically, that he didn’t feel the same way. Or, at the very least, a moment of awkwardness before things slowly went back to normal.
But instead, Jungkook just… pulled away.
It started subtly at first. He stopped texting as much. The late-night calls that once lasted for hours dwindled into one-word replies and seen messages. The casual lunch meetups, the spontaneous arcade runs, the easy, natural way he used to gravitate towards you in a crowded room—all of it changed.
And yet, despite the distance, he never fully let you go.
Instead, he turned it into a joke.
Like today, when he leaned in—far too close for comfort—during your shared class. His voice was low, teasing, the warmth of his breath fanning against your ear.
"So, I’m warmer than the sun, huh?"
You stiffened instantly, your hands tightening around your pen. He pulled back with a smirk, his dark eyes glittering with mischief as he watched your reaction unfold in real-time.
It was unbearable.
He kept doing it.
Whenever you tried to talk to him—really talk to him—he would either dodge the conversation entirely or turn it into something lighthearted, something unserious.
Like the time you finally found him alone, determined to just get it over with, to ask what had changed between you two. Before you could even get the words out, he cut you off with another one of those smirks, his voice laced with amusement.
"So I look best in black? Good to know."
And then he walked away.
That was when you finally got the message.
Jungkook had taken it as a joke.
He didn’t care about your feelings.
It was like the caring, affectionate boy you had known for years had vanished the moment your heart had been laid bare. Like now that the truth was out in the open, he didn’t know how to handle it—so he chose to mock it instead.
And worst of all?
He was pulling away from you completely.
The time you used to spend together? Gone. He was hanging out with other people now, filling his days with anyone but you. And when you did manage to cross paths, he only acknowledged you through those insufferable little comments, those cruel reminders of the things you had never meant for him to see.
It hurt. More than you wanted to admit.
Because maybe—just maybe—you had hoped that if he knew how you felt…
He wouldn’t push you away like this.
The next week brought the on-campus career fair—an event mandatory for all students. You weren’t particularly excited about it, but at least it was a distraction, something to keep your mind occupied.
Or so you thought.
Because that’s when you saw him.
And he wasn’t alone.
He was walking around with Hana, a junior from your college. They moved easily through the crowd, side by side, completely immersed in conversation. And then, to make things even worse—he laughed.
A real laugh. The kind that made his nose scrunch up and his eyes crinkle, the kind you hadn’t heard in what felt like forever.
Your stomach twisted.
You weren’t expecting him to make it this obvious.
If he wanted to reject you, fine. If he didn’t feel the same way, you could live with that. But did he really have to parade it around like this?
Maybe this was his way of sending a message. Maybe he wanted you to know, without actually having to say it out loud.
A silent rejection.
What a jerk.
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These days, you barely have the motivation to attend classes. You go through the motions—waking up, dragging yourself to campus, sitting through lectures—but your mind isn’t really there.
Because no matter how hard you try to distract yourself, the brutal reality of rejection lingers like a shadow, following you everywhere you go.
Jungkook threw away your feelings like they meant nothing.
You should have expected it, right? You should have known this was how it would turn out.
Maybe you were never meant to be anything more than a friend to him. Maybe, the moment he realized you held deeper feelings for him, he got scared. Or worse—maybe he just didn’t care at all.
The thought makes your chest ache.
Jungkook has always been a romantic at heart. You’ve seen it in the way he talks about love, in the way he watches romance movies with a dreamy look in his eyes. But clearly, you were never part of that dream.
And now, because of your stupid feelings, you’ve ruined everything.
You used to be his best friend. The one he joked around with, the one he trusted, the one he leaned on.
But now?
Now he barely looks at you.
And if he does, it's only to throw some teasing remark your way—like your feelings were some kind of joke.
The person you were most angry at was Joy.
Not Jungkook. Not yourself.
Joy.
Because none of this would have happened if she had just left that damn box alone.
That day after the box incident, the moment you stepped back into your dorm, she was there, lounging on the couch like nothing had happened. She glanced up as you walked in, a smirk already forming on her lips.
“I didn’t expect you to come back so early. I thought you guys would—” she wiggled her eyebrows—“get freaky after the whole confession, you know?”
She laughed, expecting you to groan or throw a pillow at her like usual.
But then she saw your face.
Her laughter faded. “Wait… what happened?”
You didn’t answer. You just walked past her and sank into the couch, staring at nothing, your mind still replaying every moment from earlier—Jungkook’s teasing, his smirk, his distance.
You heard Joy shuffle closer, her voice softer now. “I… I’m sorry. Did I send the gift too early? Did Jungkook not like it?”
You let out a hollow laugh. “Oh, no, he loved it.” You turned to her, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Thank you so much for your help, Joy.”
Her expression faltered. “Wait… what do you mean?”
You shook your head, exhaling sharply. “Jungkook probably thinks I’m pathetic now.”
Joy winced. She sat beside you on the couch, guilt written all over her face. “I— I really thought—” she hesitated, chewing on her lip. “I was so sure, though. That boy always had heart eyes for you.”
You let out a bitter chuckle. “Well, now you know he didn’t.”
Silence settled between you both.
And for the first time, Joy didn’t have anything to say.
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The next time you see Jungkook, he’s with Hana again.
They’re standing by one of the campus notice boards, deep in conversation. You don’t mean to eavesdrop—you’re not even sure why you stop—but the moment you hear them talking, something in your gut tells you to listen.
Hana tilts her head, her voice low but clear. “Are you sure she won't find out?”
Jungkook sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know… Maybe it's better this way”
Your breath catches in your throat.
Your first instinct is denial—maybe they’re not talking about you. Maybe it’s about someone else entirely. But deep down, you know.
As far as you’re aware, there isn’t another she in Jungkook’s life. Not before. Not when you were still close.
You’ve already been replaced.
Your chest aches as you piece it together. He doesn't want you to find out—because he's probably in a relationship with Hana now. Because he doesn’t want to hurt you with a direct rejection, he thinks hiding his relationship with her is the kinder option.
It isn’t.
You swallow the lump in your throat and force yourself to step back, turning away from the scene before you can hear any more.
You decide then—no matter how much it hurts, no matter how pathetic it makes you feel—you can’t bear being apart from Jungkook.
Even if he doesn’t love you back.
Even if he only sees you as a friend.
Losing him completely? That’s not something you’re ready for. Maybe you never will be.
So, you do the only thing you can think of.
You wait for him after class.
Your heart pounds against your ribs as you watch the door, your hands clammy with nerves. When Jungkook finally steps out, your breath catches. He looks the same—same hoodie, same soft brown eyes—but everything feels different now.
Taking a deep breath, you step forward.
"I get it, okay?" you say, voice firm despite the way your throat tightens. "You don’t like me. And that’s fine. I hope she makes you happy."
Jungkook halts mid-step.
His jaw clenches. His fists curl at his sides.
"You don’t understand," he mutters.
"Then make me understand, Jungkook," you plead. You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to keep going, even as your last shred of dignity slips through your fingers. "Can we still be friends, at least?"
Silence.
Jungkook doesn’t reply.
And somehow, that hurts more than rejection ever could.
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There's a party happening, hosted by one of the biggest party animals on campus. Everyone is invited, and Joy insists that you go.
After much convincing, you finally give in. You've mended things with her—finally forgiven her. Maybe it wasn’t entirely her fault. Maybe you just needed someone to blame.
You decide to go, hoping for a distraction. Maybe the music, the drinks, and the endless chatter will help you forget, even if just for a night.
But you already know Jungkook will be there.
Probably Hana too.
And that's fine.
You'll just stay out of their way.
The party is in full swing when you arrive—loud music, flashing lights, bodies moving wildly on the dance floor, and the unmistakable smell of booze in the air. Bottles are being passed around, and the energy is electric.
A few friends from your classes spot you and pull you in, offering drinks. You take them all without hesitation, reaching for the strongest ones, letting the alcohol burn away the ache in your chest.
Jungkook is nowhere in sight.
Good. Maybe he didn’t come. Maybe you can actually enjoy yourself tonight.
With the alcohol settling in, your limbs feel lighter, your mind a little hazy. You dance to the outdated playlist blaring through the speakers, laugh with strangers, and let yourself let go—just for a while.
But after some time, it all feels like too much. The heat, the noise, the overwhelming buzz in your veins. You slip away from the crowd and make your way to the rooftop, breathing in the crisp night air, letting it cool your flushed skin.
And then you sense it—someone else's presence.
You turn, your head spinning slightly, and there he is.
Jungkook.
You blink, wondering if you're imagining him, but his gaze is fixed on you, a slight furrow between his brows. There's something like concern in his expression as he watches you, taking in your drunken state.
Your heart stumbles in your chest.
The alcohol makes everything feel lighter—your body, your thoughts, your inhibitions. So when you see Jungkook standing there, looking at you with that unreadable expression, the words just spill out before you can stop them.
“I liked you, you know,” you mumble, swaying slightly. “But now I realize… I was just wasting my time.”
Jungkook doesn’t react. No apology, no denial, not even a flicker of emotion across his face.
He just exhales softly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You’ll be fine,” he says simply, then turns on his heel and walks away.
Just like that.
The cool night air suddenly feels suffocating, the weight in your chest heavier than ever. You watch his retreating figure, your heart shattering all over again.
The next morning, you wake up with the nastiest headache ever. Your head throbs, your mouth is dry, and your body feels like it’s been wrung out. You groan, forcing yourself to sit up as the hazy memories from last night slowly piece themselves together.
Jungkook. The rooftop. The way he just… walked away like he didn’t care.
You shake the thought from your mind, dragging yourself out of bed. There’s no point dwelling on it. Your exams are approaching, and you need to focus.
Deciding to get some studying done, you head to the library. The quiet atmosphere should help clear your head—or at least distract you from the mess that is your life.
But the moment you step inside, your breath catches.
Jungkook is sitting at the table you both used to frequent, completely absorbed in scribbling something into a notebook. For a second, you consider turning around, but then something catches your eye.
He rips out a small piece of paper, folds it neatly, and—without hesitation—slips it into a glass jar sitting beside him.
Your heart clenches.
Is it for Hana?
You don’t stick around to find out. Before Jungkook can notice you, you turn on your heel and walk away.
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February 10th. Your birthday.
You wake up with a small flicker of hope. Maybe today would be different. Maybe Jungkook had been ignoring you all this time because he was planning something—some kind of surprise. That had to be it, right?
Surely.
So you wait.
By 3 PM, your phone is filled with messages—friends, family, even distant relatives reaching out to wish you. Everyone but Jungkook.
Not even a single text.
The hope that had carried you through the day starts to crumble, replaced by a hollow ache in your chest. You don’t go to class. What’s the point? This might just be the worst birthday ever.
That’s when Joy bursts into your room with a grin.
"You got a package!" she announces, holding out a neatly wrapped box.
Your heart leaps.
Jungkook?
You rush over, fingers fumbling as you tear open the wrapping—only for your stomach to drop.
It’s from your parents.
Disappointment washes over you, but you push it aside. They went through the trouble of sending you something, and you should be grateful. You take a deep breath, forcing a smile as you pick up your phone and call them.
"Thank you," you say, voice steady. Because at least someone remembered.
There was still time.
It was only evening—plenty of hours left before midnight. Jungkook would surely text before then. He had to.
Joy, noticing your gloomy mood, tries to lift your spirits. "Come on, let’s go out drinking. Have some fun, at least for your birthday."
But you shake your head. "I’m not in the mood."
She sighs, clearly frustrated but doesn’t push you. Instead, she flops onto your bed, staring at the ceiling. "I hate this," she mutters. "I hate seeing you like this. And I hate him for treating you this way."
Her voice is laced with anger, but there’s something else there too—guilt.
Because deep down, Joy still blames herself.
If she hadn’t sent that gift early, if she hadn’t tried to play cupid, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way. Maybe you wouldn’t be spending your birthday like this—waiting for a boy who might never come around.
Jungkook didn’t text that day.
He forgot your birthday.
You waited all day, checking your phone every few minutes, hoping for a message that never came. Midnight passed, and still—nothing.
The realization settles deep in your chest, heavier than you expected. You feel pathetic.
Pathetic for hoping. Pathetic for waiting. Pathetic for still caring.
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It’s the day before Valentine’s Day.
You can’t afford to miss any more classes. You haven’t stepped foot on campus since your birthday, but today, you decide to go.
You have no motivation to see or talk to anyone. You tell yourself that you’ll just quietly attend your classes and head straight back home. No distractions. No unnecessary interactions.
But as soon as you reach campus, you notice a crowd gathering. There’s some kind of matchmaking event happening for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.
Great. Just great.
Everything about it feels like the universe is mocking you, rubbing salt on an already raw wound. Heart-shaped decorations, pink confetti floating in the air, and couples laughing—completely oblivious to how suffocating it feels for you.
You try to move past the crowd, but suddenly, someone pushes forward, and you get caught in the chaos. You stumble, losing your balance—bracing for impact—
But you don’t hit the ground.
Because Jungkook catches you.
His hands grip your arms, steadying you out of instinct. His touch is firm and warm, familiar in a way that makes your chest ache.
For the first time in days, you look up at him. And for the first time in days, he looks right back at you.
He doesn’t let go of you immediately.
His grip stays firm, his fingers pressing into your arms like he’s grounding himself, like he’s hesitating. His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his lips parting slightly—like he’s about to say something.
The music playing in the background fades into a distant hum. Everything around you slows. The laughter, the chatter, the festival lights—it all blurs.
All that’s left is him.
Still holding you.
Your voice barely comes out, a whisper against the space between you.
“Do you even care, Jungkook?”
His hands tighten for a fraction of a second. His jaw clenches. And for a brief, fleeting moment, you think you see something—something raw and unspoken flash through his eyes.
But then, like a switch flipping, he lets go.
So fast that you nearly stumble again.
"No, Y/N. I don’t."
His words cut through the air, sharp and merciless.
Then he turns. Walks away.
And you’re left standing there, alone in the middle of a festival meant for love.
This is it.
This is your answer.
Jungkook has made his choice.
And now, it’s time for you to make yours.
You have to move on.
That night, you decide—Jungkook was never meant to be yours.
It’s a painful truth, one you’ve been avoiding, but tonight, you accept it.
Needing a distraction, you start clearing out your closet, pulling out old clothes, forgotten trinkets, anything to keep your hands busy. That’s when you see it.
The pink heart-shaped box.
Your breath hitches.
You had snatched it from his hands that day, barely able to meet his gaze before bolting out of his apartment and driving straight back to your dorm. You had shoved it deep into your closet, hoping that if you buried it away, you could bury your feelings too.
For a moment, you consider throwing it away. What’s the point of holding onto it now? Jungkook knows. He read the notes, saw every piece of your heart laid bare. And in the end, it changed nothing.
Your fingers tremble as you lift the lid.
One by one, you pull out the little folded papers, unfolding memories you once held so close.
"I don’t know when it happened, but one day, he became my favourite person."
"His laugh is my favorite sound."
"I wish he knew how much he means to me."
Tears blur your vision.
You never wanted him to know.
Because you never wanted to lose him.
And now, you have.
The weight of it crashes over you all at once, and before you can stop it, the tears spill over, hot and relentless.
You clutch the notes to your chest as silent sobs wrack your body.
You’ve been holding the pain in for too long.
So tonight, you let the dams break.
And you cry yourself to sleep.
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It’s Valentine’s Day.
You feel miserable.
Forget having a Valentine this year—you don’t even have a best friend anymore.
So you stay in bed all day, buried under the covers, refusing to acknowledge the world outside.
Your mind drifts, unbidden, to last year’s Valentine’s Day.
You and Jungkook had gone out for dinner—not as lovers, not as anything more than friends, just two people who didn’t have dates. You remember how he laughed at the terrible restaurant music, how he stole fries from your plate like they were his.
You miss it.
No—wait. You shouldn’t be thinking about him.
Shaking off the thought, you grab your Nintendo Switch and start playing, trying to distract yourself.
Then the doorbell rings.
You ignore it. Joy is probably home—she’ll get it.
But it rings again.
What is Joy doing?
Then it hits you—she probably stayed over at her boyfriend’s place last night.
With a groan, you push off the covers and make your way to the door. You swing it open, ready to shoo away whoever it is—
But there’s no one there.
Your gaze drops to the ground.
And then you see it.
A singular jar, placed carefully on the doormat.
You stare at the jar, a strange sense of familiarity creeping in, but you can’t quite place it.
Where have you seen something like this before?
Your mind scrambles for an answer, flipping through memories like pages in a book, but nothing surfaces.
With hesitant fingers, you reach down and pick it up, feeling the cool glass against your palm. It’s heavier than you expected.
That’s when you notice the writing on the lid, scrawled in red marker.
"To Y/N."
Your heart stutters.
You blink, trying to steady your breath, but the moment feels unreal—like you’ve stepped into a dream.
It’s only then that you notice the jar is filled with tiny rolled-up notes, crammed inside like secrets waiting to be unraveled.
Your mind starts spiraling.
What is this? Who left it? Why does it have your name?
Your hands tremble as you twist the lid open, the slight pop of the seal echoing in the silence.
You reach inside, fingers brushing against the countless little slips of paper.
With bated breath, you pull one out.
You carefully unroll it, eyes scanning the words scribbled in rushed, familiar handwriting.
"I lied."
That’s all it says.
Two words.
Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes trace the messy yet unmistakable handwriting.
Jungkook.
Your fingers tighten around the note as your pulse quickens.
It’s his.
The realization slams into you with a force that leaves you momentarily stunned.
Your breath turns shallow as the memory crashes into you—
Yesterday.
The crowd. The music. The overwhelming blur of people around you.
You had stumbled, nearly falling, only for Jungkook to catch you. For a fleeting moment, he held you close. His grip was firm, his expression unreadable.
You had searched his face, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Do you even care, Jungkook?"
You had wanted him to say yes. Even a little. Anything to make the ache in your chest feel less unbearable.
But instead—
"No, Y/N. I don’t."
His words had cut deeper than you ever thought possible.
And then he had let go. So fast, like touching you had burned him. Like you meant nothing at all.
You remember the way your heart had cracked, the way he had disappeared into the sea of people, leaving you stranded in the middle of a festival meant for love.
But now—
Now you stand here, gripping a jar full of his words.
"I lied."
Your hands fumble as you reach into the jar again, pulling out another note.
Unrolling it with shaky fingers, you read:
"I thought if I pushed you away, it’d be easier for you to move on. But the truth is, I don’t want you to."
A sharp pang strikes your chest.
Your mind reels, and suddenly, you're back at the rooftop party—drunk, vulnerable, spilling your heart out in slurred words.
“I liked you, you know? But now I realize I was just wasting my time.”
Jungkook had stood there, silent, unreadable, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
No apology. No denial. Nothing.
And then, just as effortlessly, he had turned away.
"You'll be fine," he'd said before walking off, leaving you alone in the cold night.
The memory burns like an open wound, and yet, here you are, standing in your doorway, holding the truth he should have told you that night in the palm of your hands.
Your fingers tremble as you pull out the next note.
"I missed your birthday on purpose because I wanted to give you something that lasts longer than a text."
Your breath hitches.
He didn’t forget?
He chose not to text?
A bitter chuckle escapes your lips, but it fades just as quickly as the weight of his words settles in.
You reach into the jar again, pulling out another note, heart pounding against your ribs.
What you didn’t know was—
Jungkook had spent hours writing your birthday note.
He had sat at his desk that night, a dozen crumpled papers around him, rewriting the same message over and over, never satisfied. His hands had been shaky when he finally folded the note and slipped it into the jar.
Because words were permanent.
Because he was afraid.
Because deep down, he knew—if he told you how much you really meant to him, he wouldn’t be able to push you away anymore.
And that terrified him.
Your grip on the jar tightens as you pull out the next note.
"I was scared you’d see me in the library that day. And you did. I almost stopped writing. But I wanted to finish this for you."
Your breath catches in your throat as a memory rushes back—
The library.
That afternoon, when you had finally dragged yourself back to campus to study for your exams, you had seen him sitting at your usual table, scribbling something into his notebook.
At the time, you thought nothing of it—until you watched him tear out a tiny slip of paper and slip it into a jar.
A jar.
The very same one you now hold in your trembling hands.
Back then, you had turned away, assuming it was for Hana.
But it wasn’t.
It was for you.
Every note in this jar was for you.
Your vision blurs as you stare down at the tiny rolled-up messages still waiting to be read.
He had been writing to you all along.
By the time you reach the last few notes, your hands are trembling. Maybe you can’t even read them through the tears clouding your vision. The weight of all those misunderstandings—every ignored confession, every painful silence, every moment you thought he didn’t care—crashes down on you all at once.
Your breath is uneven as you unroll another slip of paper.
"You thought I didn’t care. But I did. I always did."
A sob escapes your lips, the ache in your chest unbearable.
You clutch the jar against you like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever held—because it is. Because it’s him.
Every unspoken word. Every hidden feeling. Every truth he was too afraid to say aloud.
And now, you finally know.
Your breath catches as you reach the bottom of the jar, realizing the significance—there are exactly 100 notes, just like the box you once gave him.
With shaky hands, you pull out the 99th note.
“I was always bad at saying things out loud. So I wrote them instead. I just hope it’s not too late for you to read them.”
Your chest tightens.
You take a deep breath and reach for the last note, your fingers trembling. Slowly, you unroll it, heart pounding in your ears.
“Y/N, will you be my Valentine?”
The paper almost slips from your fingers as your vision blurs with fresh tears. A shaky laugh escapes your lips, somewhere between disbelief and overwhelming emotion.
After everything, after all the silence, the pain, the misunderstandings—he’s finally saying it.
And suddenly, all that matters is what you’ll do next.
The moment the words register, you don’t think.
The jar nearly slips from your grasp as you scramble to your feet, your heartbeat hammering louder than the thoughts racing through your mind. Jungkook. He couldn’t have gone far—he must have just dropped it off.
You fling the door open, barefoot, barely even stopping to grab your keys. The cold air bites at your skin, but you don’t care. You sprint down the stairs, nearly stumbling in your rush to get outside.
Your eyes dart wildly around the street, your breath coming out in frantic puffs. Where is he?
Then, you see him.
A few feet away, Jungkook is walking slowly, hands in his pockets, head low like he’s already bracing for disappointment. Like he’s already convinced you won’t come after him.
But you do.
“Jungkook!”
He freezes.
You don’t stop running until you’re right in front of him, breathless, clutching the jar close to your chest like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the moment.
His eyes widen when he sees you—messy hair, no shoes, trembling hands still gripping his gift like it’s the most important thing in the world.
You swallow hard, voice shaking. “Did you mean it?”
Jungkook looks at you for a long moment, the night stretching between you like a fragile thread.
Then, barely above a whisper—“Yeah.”
Your chest heaves, breath uneven, voice shaking as you clutch the jar tighter.
"You absolute—jerk." Your voice wavers, but the anger, the hurt, the sheer weight of everything he’s put you through spills out in every word. "You sat there, letting me think I meant nothing to you. And the whole time, you were—" You shake the jar, almost laughing in disbelief. "—writing these?"
Jungkook doesn’t answer. He just stands there, hands stuffed in his pockets, jaw tight, like he’s bracing himself for whatever you’re about to say next.
"You could’ve just told me, Jungkook. You could’ve just—" You pause, gripping the jar like it’s the only thing holding you together. "Why? Why lie to me?"
He exhales sharply, his voice rough, like he’s been holding it in for too long.
"Because I was a coward."
You blink. You weren’t expecting him to admit it so easily.
Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, looking away. "I thought pushing you away was the right thing to do. If I let you think I didn’t care, maybe you’d move on. Maybe you’d find someone who wouldn’t hurt you like I did."
Your throat tightens. Your fingers dig into the glass of the jar. "You were the one hurting me, Jungkook."
His eyes finally meet yours, and the weight of them almost knocks the air from your lungs. He looks wrecked.
"I know." His voice is barely above a whisper.
"Then why?" Your voice trembles, frustration bubbling over. "Why did you let me think I was chasing something that wasn’t even there?"
His jaw clenches, and for a second, he doesn’t answer. But then, his voice comes, low and raw.
"Because I was afraid you’d realize you deserved better."
Silence settles between you. A silence so thick it presses against your chest, making it hard to breathe.
You stare at him, your vision blurring. You should walk away. You should scream, cry—anything. But instead, you do the only thing you can think of.
You reach into the jar, grab a note at random, and shove it into his hand. "Read it."
Jungkook hesitates. Then, slowly, he unfolds the paper. His fingers tremble as he reads the words he once wrote.
"If I had been braver, I would’ve told you every single day how much you meant to me."
He sucks in a sharp breath, gripping the paper like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. His eyes flick back up to yours, burning with something you can’t quite name.
"Say it now," you whisper.
Jungkook's breath catches. His grip on the note tightens like it’s the only thing keeping him together.
You wait. Trembling, heart pounding, eyes locked onto his. Daring him to finally, finally say it.
He exhales shakily. His voice is low, rough—like it hurts to speak, but he does anyway.
"Y/N…"
You don’t look away. Don’t let him run from this.
His throat bobs. His hand curls into a fist at his side, then slowly unclenches.
"I love you."
A sharp inhale cuts through you. Even though you were waiting for it, the words hit like a tidal wave.
Jungkook shakes his head, almost laughing, but there’s no humor in it—just raw, aching regret.
"I loved you then. I love you now. And I don’t think there’s a single version of me that won’t love you."
Your vision blurs, the weight of everything pressing down on you all at once.
"Then why—" your voice cracks, "—why did you let me think you didn’t?"
Jungkook exhales sharply, raking a hand through his hair. His face twists with something close to pain.
"Because I was scared." His voice is barely above a whisper. "Scared that if I let myself have you, I’d ruin you. Scared that you’d wake up one day and realize I wasn’t worth it."
Your hands clench at your sides. "You don’t get to decide that for me."
He nods. Swallows hard. Takes a step closer.
"I know." His voice is softer now. "And if I could go back, I’d do it all differently. But I can’t. All I can do is stand here and tell you—"
Your lips crash into his, years of longing and heartbreak unraveling in a single, desperate moment. Your fingers fist into his jacket, pulling him closer, closing the distance like you’ve been waiting forever. Because you have.
Jungkook catches you. His arms wind tight around your waist, grounding you, anchoring you like he’s afraid you’ll slip away again. His grip is firm, unyielding, as if holding you is the only thing that makes sense anymore.
The kiss isn’t soft—it’s frantic, raw, filled with all the words you never got to say. It’s a confession, an apology, a plea. His lips move against yours with urgency, pouring everything into it, like he’s trying to make up for every second he spent pushing you away.
Jungkook tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and a shiver runs through you as his fingers tangle into your hair, tugging just enough to make your breath hitch. His other hand spreads against your back, pressing you impossibly closer, like even this isn’t enough, like he’d fuse you together if he could.
You melt. Every wall you built, every ounce of anger, every misunderstanding—crumbling, dissolving into the heat of him. The way he kisses you feels like an answer to a question you didn’t know you were asking. Like a promise.
When you finally pull apart, neither of you lets go.
Jungkook rests his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours, still uneven, still shaken. His hands remain on your waist like he’s afraid that the second he lets go, this will all disappear.
Your fingers stay curled in his shirt, gripping the fabric like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
His voice is raw when he finally speaks, barely more than a whisper. “I don’t deserve you.”
You exhale, shaking your head, the weight of everything still pressing against your chest. Your voice is quiet, but steady. “Then spend every day proving that you do.”
Jungkook lets out a soft laugh—one that sounds broken and real, like he can’t believe he’s still allowed to have this moment with you.
“Deal,” he murmurs.
And then he kisses you again.
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The door barely clicks shut before Jungkook is on you again, his hands framing your face as his lips crash into yours. There’s no hesitation now, no careful restraint—only heat, only the raw, aching need that’s been simmering between you for far too long.
His body presses against yours, pushing you back into the door, and you gasp against his lips. He swallows the sound, deepening the kiss, his tongue sweeping over yours with slow, deliberate intent. He tastes like something addictive—like want, like longing, like the kind of hunger that makes your stomach tighten and your knees go weak.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, needing him closer. His hands roam down, slipping under the hem of your shirt, fingertips skimming along your bare skin. His touch is scorching, leaving a trail of fire wherever he moves. He pauses, his breath ragged, lips barely brushing yours.
"Tell me to stop," he murmurs, voice rough, uneven.
You shake your head, tilting your chin up until your lips ghost over his again. "I don’t want you to stop."
The words break something inside him.
His mouth crashes onto yours again, hungrier this time, more desperate. His hands slide up your back, pulling you flush against him, and you can feel the hard lines of his body, the way his chest rises and falls unsteadily against yours. One hand grips your waist, fingers digging in just enough to make you shudder, while the other slides lower, gripping your thigh and hitching it up against his hip.
A quiet moan escapes you at the feeling, and he groans in response, pressing harder into you. His lips leave yours, trailing a path down your jaw, to the sensitive spot beneath your ear, where he lingers. His teeth scrape lightly against your skin before he soothes it with his tongue, sucking gently, enough to make you arch into him, enough to make your breath hitch.
"Jungkook—" His name leaves your lips in a breathless whisper, and he exhales sharply against your skin, like the sound is enough to undo him.
His grip tightens as he lifts you effortlessly, hands settling under your thighs. Instinct takes over, and your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you across the room. He lays you down on the bed with care, but there’s nothing careful about the way he follows you down, covering your body with his own.
He hovers above you, his breath warm against your lips, his dark eyes searching yours. His thumb brushes over your cheek, then lower, tracing the curve of your bottom lip, his touch unbearably light.
"You’re sure?" he whispers, voice thick with something heady.
Your only answer is a whispered "Yes," breathless, certain.
Something shifts in him at your words. His lips find yours again, but this time, he takes his time—exploring, savoring, as if he wants to memorize every inch of you. His kisses trail downward, along the curve of your neck, across your collarbone, his mouth mapping out a path of heat and sensation. His hands move with just as much purpose, slipping under fabric, pushing it aside, fingers tracing bare skin with an intimacy that makes your pulse stutter.
Every brush of his lips, every slow, deliberate touch sends waves of electricity through you, igniting something deep and primal. Clothes are discarded in slow, teasing movements, the heat between you building with every layer that falls away.
His lips ghost over your shoulder, down your arm, over the curve of your breasts, his breath hot and uneven. He watches you, eyes dark with something intense, something almost reverent, as his fingers trace slow, lazy patterns along your bare skin.
"You’re so beautiful," he murmurs, voice filled with something deeper than desire.
You reach for him, pulling him back up, needing his mouth on yours again, needing more. He obliges, kissing you fiercely, like he never wants to stop, like this moment has been waiting to happen for far too long.
His hands explore moving towards your heat, his touch reverent yet possessive, like he’s memorizing every inch of you, like he’s making up for all the lost time. You arch into him, breath hitching, hands gripping onto his shoulders as heat coils low in your stomach.
"Jungkook," you whisper, his name falling from your lips like a plea.
His breath catches, and he exhales shakily. "I’ve got you," he murmurs against your skin, voice barely above a whisper. "I’m right here."
And then there’s no more talking—only movement, only passion, only the feeling of finally, finally being exactly where you both belong.
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The air is thick with warmth, bodies tangled beneath the sheets, hearts pounding in tandem as the last echoes of your shared breaths settle between you. The world outside might still be turning, but in this moment, it doesn’t exist. It’s just you and him, skin against skin, the weight of what just happened pressing down like the softest, heaviest thing in the world.
Your body is spent, muscles trembling faintly from the aftershocks, but you don’t move. You can’t.
Jungkook is still holding you. One arm draped lazily around your waist, the other tracing absentminded patterns against your back. His touch is slow, soothing, like he’s still trying to convince himself you’re real. Like if he lets go, you might slip away.
You stay like that for a while, chests rising and falling in sync, your head resting just above his heart. The rhythm of it is steady now, no longer racing like it had been just moments ago. Still, there’s a softness to it, an unspoken question lingering in the quiet space between you.
It’s you who finally breaks it.
“So…” You shift slightly, fingers trailing absentmindedly along his chest. “Hana knew about the jar?”
His hand stills for the briefest moment before he exhales a small, breathy laugh. His voice is thick with exhaustion, but there’s amusement in it too.
“She didn’t just know about it.” His fingers resume their slow, idle circles against your bare skin. “It was her idea.”
You blink. “…What?”
Jungkook hums in confirmation, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Yeah. She was the one who told me to do it—to fill a jar with everything I wanted to say but couldn’t.” He pauses, then adds, “She also threatened to expose me if I didn’t.”
You scoff, though you can’t help the warmth blooming in your chest. “So let me get this straight… You couldn’t tell me how you felt, but you told Hana?”
Jungkook turns his head slightly to look at you, eyes still heavy with sleep, but the amusement in them is undeniable. “I didn’t tell her. She just… figured it out.”
Of course, she did.
You huff, feigning annoyance, but your fingers betray you, tracing soft, aimless patterns along his collarbone. “Still. She knew before I did.”
Jungkook grins, rolling onto his side to face you fully. One hand slips beneath the sheets, finding your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. His voice is low when he asks, “Are you jealous?”
You glare at him. “Shut up.”
His laughter vibrates against your skin, rich and warm, before he dips down to kiss you—slow and lingering, like he’s trying to pour everything he can’t say into it. When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet.
Then, softer now, more serious, he murmurs, “Are you gonna answer me?”
Your brow furrows slightly. “Answer what?”
Jungkook leans over, reaching toward the nightstand where the jar still sits, its notes untouched—except for the last one.
“The question,” he says, retrieving the single unfolded slip of paper. He holds it between you, and even though you already know what it says, your heart still stutters when your eyes skim over the words again.
Y/N, will you be my Valentine?
Earlier, you had left it unanswered, too overwhelmed by everything that had come before it. But now, after everything—after confessions, after heartbreak, after finally finding each other again—there’s no hesitation.
You reach out, plucking the note from his fingers. Slowly, carefully, you fold it again, tucking it beneath your pillow like something precious, something worth keeping. Then, meeting his gaze, you whisper, “You never needed to ask.”
Jungkook exhales, slow and shaky, like something inside him has finally settled. His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin like he’s memorizing the moment.
“Good,” he murmurs, voice thick with emotion. “Because I wasn’t planning on taking no for an answer.”
Your breath catches. Not because of his confidence—but because, deep down, you realize you’d never wanted to say no in the first place. Maybe you had tried to fight it. Maybe you had convinced yourself that the past had built too many walls between you. But now, lying here in the warmth of his arms, the truth settles into your bones like something that had been waiting for you to accept it all along.
It had always been him.
Your fingers tighten in the sheets as you search his gaze, looking for hesitation, for doubt—for something to make this feel less like a dream. But there’s nothing. Just him. Just you. Just this moment you both fought so hard to reach.
Jungkook watches you, waiting, always waiting, his hand still resting against your cheek as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
So you close the distance.
You kiss him slowly this time, letting it sink in. The warmth of his lips, the taste of him still lingering, the way he exhales like he’s been holding his breath for years. When you pull away, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing the same air, hearts beating in time.
And then, with a quiet, knowing smile, you whisper, “Then don’t.”
Jungkook’s lips part slightly, his expression shifting—softening, melting—as if those two words had knocked down every last barrier between you. And maybe they had. Because before you can say anything else, he’s pulling you against him again, tucking you close, his hand slipping into yours beneath the sheets.
Neither of you speak for a long time after that. You don’t need to.
Outside, the world keeps turning, time moving forward just as it always does. But here, in the hush of your dorm room, wrapped up in him, it feels like the universe has paused just for you.
Not to make up for lost time.
But to remind you that some things—some people—were never really lost at all.
And maybe, just maybe, they never would be.
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EPILOGUE : Years Later – Valentine’s Day
The door clicks shut behind you as you step into the apartment, kicking off your shoes with a tired sigh. The evening air still clings to your skin, carrying traces of laughter and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s presence.
It had been another perfect night—one filled with inside jokes, stolen bites of each other’s food, and his usual exasperated attempts to get you to pick a restaurant instead of saying, “Anything’s fine.”
Jungkook is nowhere in sight, giving you the solitude you need. You don’t hesitate. Your steps are purposeful as you cross the room, crouching down beside the bed. With practiced ease, you reach under the frame, fingers brushing against the familiar surface of a small pink, heart-shaped box.
But this time, there’s something else.
Your fingers find the jar—the one that started it all.
You pull them both out carefully, as if they were a fragile secret, and place them on your lap.
Soft footsteps approach. Then, a familiar weight sinks onto the mattress beside you.
Jungkook’s voice is quieter now, fond. “Didn’t think I’d see those again.”
You smile, running a thumb over the worn edges of the box before glancing at him. “I don’t know what made me reach for them.”
He hums, gaze flickering between the objects in your hands. “Habit, maybe. Or fate.” Then, smirking, “You always did have a thing for digging up answers.”
Rolling your eyes, you pop the lid off the jar, fingers fishing out an old note. The paper is creased, the ink slightly faded, but you already know what it says.
"Y/N, will you be my Valentine?"
Jungkook watches you, expectant. “You never actually answered me, you know.”
You exhale a laugh, shaking your head. “Jungkook, we’re literally married.”
“And?” He leans in, teasing. “I’m just saying, a verbal confirmation wouldn’t hurt.”
You scoff but humor him anyway, fingers curling into his sweater as you whisper against his lips—
"Yes, Jungkook. I’ll be your Valentine."
His arms wrap around you, pulling you in. The jar sits forgotten on the floor, the pink box nestled beside it.
Once upon a time, you had pulled it out, searching for clarity. Looking for a sign.
You didn’t realize then—you never needed the answers inside.
Because you’d already found them.
Because you’d found him.
And maybe that was the answer all along.
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taglist: @iamstilljk @hirochan112 @withluvjm @amarawayne @jeon-has-left-you-on-seen @blueofocean @tattzjeon @tsick @stuti2904 @gukkiebabysblog @taekritimin123 @whisperingonyx @sadgirlroo @nerdycheol @hoshiskimchi @blueberriesm @kooksrqcer @minimoninini @dreamersparacosm @yok00k @whothefuckisthishoe @prxdajeon @darkangelfei @sunainasworld @kia091106 @khadeeeeej @welcometomyworld13 @noshametempo @bakuhoethotski @ohyeah35sworld
thank you so much for reading! let me know what u think about it <3
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esote-rika · 2 months ago
Text
Red is Your Color | Spencer Reid
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bau!reader
Category: smut 18+ MDNI
Summary: You just committed perhaps the most atrocious wrongly sent message ever. By some trick of nature, your coworker is more than willing to play along. (This is from @imagining-in-the-margins Wrong Recipient prompt list. Character receives scandalous selfies from a coworker; check out her prompts, they're really fun!)
Content: softdom!spencer, fingering, multiple orgasms (female receiving), p in v, creampie, reader is on the pill, Spencer calls reader a naughty girl and pretty girl, tenderness and lots of checking in, vaguely Christmas themed. 
Word count:  3.1k
A/N: I read something really poetic and profound yesterday and it inspired me to write, but my mind was in the gutter, so this happened. lmfao happy holidays. UNEDITED, I wrote this at 2 in the morning T.T
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Do you think Santa would bend me over and punish me?
Spencer Reid was almost too scared to even open the following messages—he’d already made the mistake of opening this one. And there was a barrage of them, sent a few minutes after the very first one, in quick succession, one right after the other. His phone buzzed and buzzed, matching the distracting hum in his brain at the moment. He should probably read the next messages, because surely, surely those contain the explanation to this one.
Unfortunately, his eyes were glued on this first one—it seemed like it was the only one that contained a picture, after all, and what was that they said about a picture saying a thousand words?
What could it mean then, this picture his coworker had sent to him? What did it mean that he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from it? (What did it imply if he didn’t want to? That he liked the picture? That it made his pants uncomfortably tighter?)
He stared at the picture, his eyes greedily taking every inch of smooth skin exposed by the short, strapless sexy Santa dress his coworker was wearing. It wasn’t explicit—she was fully dressed, after all, but the caption, paired with the way she had been posed… Sitting on what he presumed was her bathroom counter, her legs artfully crossed, the fabric of the dress hiked up to reveal long, luscious thighs. With her pursed lips painted crimson, it was obvious what the message was meant to imply and Spencer felt his mouth grow dry. He shifted on his seat, both hands gripping his phone because he didn’t trust them not to wander down, to give himself relief.
No, he should not be jerking off to his coworker. He shouldn’t even be fucking looking at this photo. He should delete it, call Penelope and ask her to rewire his cloud or memory or data or whatever it was called. Just to get rid of it from his phone. That would be the decent thing to do, and Spencer had always prided himself on being a gentleman. 
He knew that would be futile; knew his mind would be treacherous and have the image of her with those supple thighs, and red mouth in his dreams, his nightmares, in every fantasy—
His phone was ringing.
He stared at it, wondering how she was sending so many messages so quickly, before he realized that she wasn’t texting anymore.
She was calling.
His thumb found the answer button without his consent. The next thing he knew, her voice was pouring from his phone’s speaker. Soft. Contrite. Embarrassed. He frowned. What on earth was she embarrassed about, he wondered. She, who looked stunning, who looked good enough to be worshipped—
“—Please say something, Spence.” she was saying, pleading, and something in his gut clenched. That nickname, coming from her lips. That nickname, coming from her lips, while she was wearing that dress.
“Spence—”
“It’s all right,” his voice was strangled. He cleared his throat, “It’s all right. I’ve deleted it.” Lie, what a liar, she deserved better than hastily told lies.
“Okay,” she sighed, relief palpable even without seeing her face to face, “I just didn’t want to get in trouble with HR, on top of everything.”
HR. He almost laughed. They wouldn’t care (unless someone blabbed, like what happened with Derek and Penelope, but he would never do that to her, not in a million years.)
“You wouldn’t, I promise… it wasn’t even that explicit, if I’m being honest.” he heard himself say. He rubbed his eyes in frustration—why did he have to add that?
Her laughter floats from the phone, nervous and low. “I guess not. I wasn’t about to send a complete nude to my friends.”
He straightened up, confused. “Your friends?”
“Yeah,” she replied, her voice still wavering nervously, “Like I said in my texts, it was wrongly sent to you, I was talking to my friends.”
In other words, it wasn’t for him. He would have known that, had he opened her texts, had he not been too busy ogling the picture she had mistakenly sent, the picture that wasn’t even for him. Something unpleasant burned in his chest, but he ignored it in favor of the curiosity that lingered.
“You send explicit pictures to your friends?”
“I thought you said it wasn’t that explicit,” she chuckled, “But, uh, yeah I do… I dunno, maybe that’s weird, but we were joking around.”
That was something new he learned today. That friends could casually send sexually charged photos to each other. The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. “So you don’t actually want to be bent over and punished?”
Dear heavens, sometimes he understood why his teammates gave him weird looks. If he had a mirror, he would give himself a weird look. Still, he held his breath for her answer, surprised by the wave of disappointment at the thought of her saying no, it was just a silly text.
The pause grew between them, and Spencer was almost about to apologize, when she spoke again.
“I mean, if someone were willing to do it…”
He swallowed. His pants felt tight once again, and he had to force himself to take deep breaths. This was not an invitation, he thought, she had not asked him, she was not saying if you wanted to do it (which, he does, desperately so.)
“Right.” he managed to croak. Another pause, as if she was contemplating. 
“Spencer,” she was whispering now, “Do you want to?”
“Yes.”
“How fast can you get here?”
“Give me fifteen minutes.”
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You’re not sure what possessed you into inviting your coworker over, but you did. And now, you’re sitting in your living room, in that blasted sexy Santa dress, panic texting your friends about it. He had said fifteen minutes. Eight minutes had gone by, and you knew he would fulfill his promise. He would be here in seven minutes.
Perhaps you weren’t expecting him to agree. Your perception of Spencer Reid has always been of a sweet genius, wholly brilliant and too preoccupied with academics to even give a second thought to sex and romance. He was a germaphobe, for crying out loud, you had thought it would make him have some sort of aversion to the inevitable sticky, sweaty mess of two bodies coming together. 
But you’d heard it in his voice. Strained, low, and riddled with desire. 
So you had mustered enough courage to ask. And now—
Your doorbell cut through your thoughts. Taking a deep breath, you shoved your phone into a drawer, not wanting to see the offensive piece of technology for the rest of the night. You looked out through the peephole, and there he was, still in his office clothes. Tall, and slender, and dishevelled and yours for the night.
You pulled the door open, ignoring the heavy thump in your chest. 
He smiled. “Hi.”
“You’re early.” You teased, standing aside to let him in. His eyes were glued to you, pupils dilating as he took you in.
“You’re still wearing the dress.”
Right. Once you had realized you sent the text to Spencer instead of your friends, you had spent the next several minutes in agonizing anxiety, sending text after text to Spencer in an effort to explain. In your utter mortification, you had forgotten to change out of it.
He seemed to like that. It gave you enough confidence to surge forward, blindly, recklessly.
“I am.” You said, red lips tugging into a smile you reserved for handsome strangers at a bar. You lowered your voice, just enough for the next words to come out breathless, “Honestly, it’s a little itchy.” 
“Is it?” He stepped forward, crowding you into the door. It creaks as it moves with your weight, the knob clicking in place. He reached forward, and you held your breath, anticipating his hands on you, gently running over your skin, but instead they closed over the doorknob, locking it. He didn’t miss your reaction, though, his eyes a glittering night sky of sweet, utter want. “Maybe I can help you with it.”
You nodded, mouth parted in silence, whatever words you wanted to say have died in your throat.
He brought his hand up, caressing your jaw, and you marvelled at how large his hands are, long fingers reaching the nape of your neck. “Red is your color.” he murmured, before leaning in to capture your lips.
His lips were cold and chapped, and you returned his kiss eagerly in an attempt to warm them. Your mouth opens at one swipe of his tongue, moaning as he leans his whole body into you, pushing you harder against the door. Tonight, you learned that Spencer Reid, the sweet, unassuming genius, kisses like he wants to crawl into you. It’s a sloppy mess of tongue and teeth, and a whimper escaped your mouth as he bit your lower lip.
“Too much?” he asked, pulling away for a moment. 
As an answer, you wrapped your hands around his neck, and returned the fervor of his kisses. You heard him chuckle, felt it on your own tongue as it happened and it made your knees buckle from sheer want. 
His arms wrapped around your waist, hoisting you up into his embrace. You felt him move, stumbling across your apartment before setting you down again. The blunt edge of a drawer hit your lower back, just as he pulled away. 
A whine left your lips. You didn’t know if it was from the pain, or the loss of his kiss.
“Turn around, darling.” he murmured, but your brain was so damn distracted you just stared at him blankly. He grinned, hands at your hips gently maneuvering you to face away from him. “You said you wanted to be bent over.” 
Chills went down your spine as he pushed you forward, elbows landing on the smooth, wooden desk. 
“Y-yeah, I did say that.” you managed to reply. This time, the breathless quality in your voice was not an affectation. You felt his nose on your neck, pushing away the stray locks of hair, before his mouth landed over the skin, open and wet, traversing the expanse of your flesh with reckless ardor. You moaned, craning your head back in a wordless plea for more.
You felt teeth, the sting of it clamping over your flesh. You didn’t even realize you’d yelped until he stopped.
“Sorry,” he whispered, soothing the bite with his kisses.
“It’s okay,” You replied, one hand reaching up, running through his hair. “Do it again.”
The rumble of his laughter made your stomach warm. He sunk his teeth into your neck again, sucked at the spot he bit, and you would have face planted into the desk had it not been for his hands holding you up. 
“You’re a naughty girl,” he purred against your skin, “Aren’t you? Sending that picture to me, I bet it wasn’t even an accident.”
“It was,” you protested, but then he grinds his crotch into your ass and any indignation was stifled by the feeling of how damn hard he was. “It was - I didn’t mean to—”
“You didn’t mean to make me this hard?” he asked, rolling his hips against you, “I think you knew exactly what you were doing, naughty girl.” Before you could answer, you felt something digging into your ass. He was tugging at your panties. To the side, as if he couldn’t even be bothered to strip it off of you. 
It was hot as all hell.
“My god, you’re absolutely soaked for me.” he groaned into your ear, and you gasped as the rough pads of his fingers ran through your cunt. Somehow, his fingers have remained cold, and the sensation sent a shudder down your spine.
“S-Spencer,” you whined, knuckles finding leverage at the edge of the desk you’ve been sprawled over.
“Mhm? What is it, darling?”
“M-more.”
His laughter filled the room once again, “And I thought I was being needy.” he said, but he obliged your request easily, slipping two fingers into your pussy. His breath fanned over the overheated skin of your neck as he buried his face against your shoulder, “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” you moved your hips against his hand, chasing the rhythm of his fingers. You’d never enjoyed this by yourself; your own fingers were thin, too short to cause any sort of pleasure when you touched yourself. But Spencer’s hands were large, his fingers long and elegant and perfect. They curled inside you, hitting a spot you’ve never been able to with your own hands, and you cried “Oh, fuck yes!”
It was everything. Quite literally. His arm was holding you against him, his body a solid, lean mass behind you, pressing into the slopes of your own, digging in wherever your softness yields to his hard angles. You moaned and moaned again, as his fingers quickened, as his thumb found your clit and rubbed fast circles until your arms gave out and your entire upper half was splayed on the desk. 
He didn’t stop, cooing soft words into your ear, his tongue and lips and teeth a whole other dangerous territory of its own. You knew you would have hickeys tomorrow. You knew the team would ask questions. You didn’t particularly care.
“Can you take more?” he asked, and you nodded, eager to take whatever he was going to give. A third finger slid into your dripping cunt, stretching you in ways you haven’t felt in a long time and you groaned, head buried in your arms. He paused, his other hand rubbing circles on your hip, “Are you all right, darling?”
“Yes.” you sobbed, and you knew he wouldn’t believe you because you sounded sad, and everything that Spencer has done up until this point proved that, despite it all, he cared. 
“You can tell me if it’s too much, you know.” he murmured. His lips laved featherlight kisses along your shoulder.
“I’m fine,” you insisted, bucking your hips. The idea of being slightly incoherent from the pleasure he’s been giving you was a little too enticing, and you were in no mood to stop, “Please.”
“Okay,” he resumed his ministrations, slower this time, dragging his fingers in and out of you with a precise rhythm, now that he’s figured out your weak spots. “You are so pretty like this, darling. Dress hiked up, your lipstick smudged.”
A mewl came out of your throat, and you would have been embarrassed if you still had the presence of mind to feel an ounce of shame. He coaxed a second orgasm from you, and you marveled at the fact that he could elicit responses like these with just his fingers. It seemed unfair, but a large part of you reveled in it.
“That’s it,” he whispered, slowly pulling his fingers out, “That’s my pretty girl.”
You lifted your head from your arms. The sight that welcomes you is a blurry one, impeded by the clumpy eyelashes and messy tears that had gathered in your eyes. You knew you looked a mess, far from the pretty girl he kept repeating, but you ate up the praise all the same.
As if by their own accord, your hips move back, grinding into his erection. You wanted more. You wanted him to be in the same daze you were in right now, wanted to be one. “Spencer,” you whined, and he laughed, and you wondered if it was possible to get drunk off of a sound.
“You’re insatiable, aren’t you?” he replied, playfully chastising, but the sound of his belt buckle reached your ears and you grinned.
“Just wanna make sure you get something too.” you mumbled.
“Is this a bad time to tell you that I had forgotten a condom?”
Now it was your turn to laugh, bracing yourself on your elbows again, and looking over his shoulder.
“Wow, isn’t your whole thing the complete opposite of forgetting?”
“I was a little distracted.” he said, his smile sheepish.
“I don’t mind,” you replied, “I’m on the pill.” 
“You’re sure?”
“Mhm-hmm.” You nodded, one arm moving and blindly grasping for the zipper of your Santa dress. His hand gently encircled your wrist, placing it back on the desk.
“It stays on,” he said, as the blunt tip of his cock pushed past your pussy, “I told you, red is your color.”
Your mouth dropped open as he sheathed himself inside you in one thrust, and wordless expression of pleasure. He had spent a large chunk of time fucking you with his fingers, and the necessity of it dawned upon you now.
He was big.
The stretch made you groan, eyes squeezing shut as your pussy fluttered around him. He pressed his body over yours, pushing you into the desk as he began to rock, in and out of you. Involuntarily, you clenched around him, earning a sharp hiss.
“You feel so good,” he groaned, holding you tightly around the waist with one arm. The other went to the desk, steadying himself as he found a rhythm that made you writhe beneath him, “Oh god, yes.”
You couldn’t even respond, your body moving on autopilot, meeting his every thrust with your hips. The sounds your bodies made were obscene, wet, sloppy noises of flesh meeting flesh. It filled your head, made you dizzy with pleasure. 
“Spencer,” at this point, you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve repeated his name. The world has anchored all meaning to that one sound, and you said it, over and over again, “Spencer.”
“Mhm,” he responded by snapping his hips, pushing his cock so deep into your toes curl, “That’s it, darling, say my name.”
“Spencer,” you said in your broken voice, every repetition turning higher and higher in pitch, and it seemed like the higher your voice went, the harder he fucked you. Your desk banged against the wall from his rough thrusts, joining the cacophony of sounds from your coupling. 
His pace grew rougher, faster, his grip on you reaching the point of painful and bruising, but it made your head spin in the most delicious way possible. You clenched around him, squeezing his cock in an attempt to find your peak, and instead initiating his.
“Fuck—” he groaned, as his load exploded inside you, somehow filling you even more, and you dropped your head to the desk again as your own body shuddered with release. 
Panting, and exhausted, you both stayed there, bent over the desk half upright, like a tower about to topple. He kissed the back of your neck as you fought to catch your breath. Looking over your shoulder, the sight of him fills your vision, hair tousled and sticking to his forehead, his lips smudged with your lipstick, and you couldn’t help but think that red is his color too.
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sleep-0-deprived · 5 months ago
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What would it be like yandere bully vs yandere jock fighting over the nerd reader?
Yandere jock, bully fighting over nerd male reader head cannons~. ૮ ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ྀིა
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For the sake of this post I’ll call Yandere bully(Damian) and Yandere jock(Jake) <33
When Damian first started bullying you it was out of the obsession he had built on you over the summer. Jake first noticed you when he was in study hall and was assigned you as his tutor, the two of you became really close during the tutoring sessions so much that he’d invite you to his place just wanting to be around you as much as he could. Dumping his cheerleader girlfriend asking you to come to his games even trying to get you to wear his jacket insisting it was just him “wanting you to show team spirit for him”.
Damian hating how close you got with Jake turning into pure hatred for the jock, it starts with Damian being a little meaner to you trying to get your attention nearly tormenting you daily in hopes you’d just focus on him. Jake always pushing Damian away or making him go away whenever he’s around. The two ending up going at it figuring daily, the cameras Jake had installed in your bedroom whenever he was over suddenly getting hacked by Damian.
Jake who asks you out getting you to some how say he’s taking a video of him having you in the backseat of his truck with your legs held spread wide getting stretched out with your lips making an “O” shape whimpering out “J-ake~!” Over and over when he hits your bundle of nerves penetrating you. Jake showing the video to Damian whispering “think he likes me more Mr bully?” In a mocking tone just to rile him up into a fury nearly having a tantrum only making his obsession over you grow.
Damian who pulls you out of lunch just to fuck you bent over in the back of the library, his hand over your mouth huffing degrading words in your ear “if I knew you were such’a damn slut I woulda given you a good fucking so long ago” his hands harshly punching your hips “did that dumb jock fuck you like this hm? Did he thrusts like this pretty boy?” Jerking your hair wanting to be the only man to ruin your hole—to touch and grip your skin, not that jock.
Jake stalking you after school making sure Damian doesn’t get any free chances with you. Jake giving you rides having your head between his thighs sucking him off behind school in the back of his truck just taking pictures without you knowing bragging and mocking Damian saying “clearly he likes my cock more? Don’t ya think Damian?” He’d caption the photo he sent Damian just to further fight wanting it known you chose Jake.
You finally snapping at the two of them arguing you weren’t in the middle threatening to never speak to either of them, they didn’t seem to like that, them ending teamed up on you for the greater good of keeping you. Damian In front of you in the janitors closet face in your chest knocking your books aside with his cock deep inside your ass having Jake behind you his cock rubbing against Damian’s with his hands on your hips holding you up in place murmuring “he’s being so good for us ain’t he Damian” only earning grunts and a “yeah he is” from Damian. Both them deciding then and there you were theirs, no choice needed you’d be passed and shared by only them.
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hoshifighting · 3 months ago
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what kind of nudes they would send you? 👉🏻👈🏻
WARNINGS: smut, mentions of penis anatomy, male body anatomy.
seungcheol: one hand wrapped around the base of his cock, holding it up right so you can see the huge length. phone propped low to catch his abs, chest, and a big delicious smile.
jeonghan: lying down, hand lazily holding his half-hard cock against his stomach, shadows doing all the work. “this good enough for you, babe?”
joshua: sheets slightly covering his cock, one hand slipping underneath like he’s just teasing himself. bonus: his pouty lips in the shot like he’s waiting for your permission to touch.
junhui: standing in front of a mirror, completely naked, flexing a little, with his dick hanging low. he’d throw in a wink too.
hoshi: a pic of his cock leaking, hand gripping it tight, his thigh muscles flexed as he props one leg up on the puff. there’s a tiger plush in the corner. it kills you, but somehow it works.
wonwoo: it’s a mirror pic in his bathroom, dick out, one hand languidly holding it, while he flexes his abs, and the veins of his hand. no caption, no emojis—just the picture. he knows it’ll have you spiraling.
woozi: accidental thirst trap. he sends you a random post-shower pic, towel slung low on his hips, wet hair clinging to his forehead, and his hard cock half-hidden. “oh, oops, didn’t mean to send that.”
minghao: taken from the side, showing off his hips, his cock semi-hard against his thigh, with some dramatic lighting in the background. the veins of his arm, and lower belly POPPING.
mingyu: another mirror whore. he’s taking the pic in his bedroom mirror, one hand stroking himself, abs and v-line shinng and you don't know if it's sweat, oil, or mosturizer. the smirk he gives is almost as cocky as his stupidly hard dick.
seokmin: the shy teaser. he sends you a pic of just the tip of his cock, all red and leaking, his hand covering the rest but barely in the frame. “is this… okay?” like, yes, it’s okay, now send the whole damn thing.
seungkwan: never thought he would send a nude, firstly. so it's aa tight shot of just his cock, leaking and red at the tip, his hand hovering like he’s debating whether to jerk off or not. “you’re making me like this, you know that?” he’s nervous, but he’s loving how wild it’ll make you.
vernon: lounging on the couch, sweatpants pushed low enough to expose his cock resting against his abs, hand casually draped over it. “so… you up?” he acts like it’s no big deal, but he’s grinning like crazy after hitting send, creating a scenario in his mind where you look at the pic while touching yourself.
chan: a full-body selfie of him sitting on the edge of the bed, cock hard and curved up against his stomach, face flushed and biting his lip. “thinking about you, noona. can I come over?”
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petalsleclerc · 19 days ago
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hockey   &   f1   p ! links   —   18 +   content
!!   THESE ARE LITERAL PORN LINKS, MDNI   !!
includes:  charles leclerc   carlos sainz       max verstappen   oscar piastri   lando norris     quinn hughes   luke hughes   jack hughes     mitch marner   franco colapinto   .
all   links   direct   you   to   twt   /   x       you   must   be   logged   in   to   access
tw   some   captions   of   the   tweets   pertain   to   topics   i   don’t   write   please   ignore   them   !!
most   of   these   do   not   look   like   the   drivers   /   players!   they   are   concepts,   feel   free   to   send   in   links   for   me   to   add   !
last updated : 11th of february 2025
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charles leclerc
sub!charles being rewarded after his win — sauber era
munch!charles just wanting his mouth on you
charles just needs to fuck you, please help him?
depriving charles of being inside you
oscar piastri
sub!oscar being jerked off
oscar calls you mama in bed and apologises for cummin’ — not a video but a tweet
rival!oscar being dumbed down when rival!reader sits in his lap and they eventually end up here
69 with sub!munch!oscar who just can’t get enough
carlos sainz
tying up sub!carlos and overstimulating him
carlos dry humping you when you’ve been a brat
carlos grunting and breathing heavily when he’s inside
franco colapinto
making him wait after a celly
franco loves when you take pictures of him
franco loves your tits, and he loves when you jerk him
max verstappen
bratty!max to sub!max hate handjob
ruining max’s orgasam
max creampie-ing you in the car
lando norris
jerking off sub!lando
jack hughes
jack making you shake after he’s been away on a roadie
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ivysangel · 9 months ago
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(follow up to this post) prefacing this by saying that dick grayson is a nude connoisseur, and while he doesn't have to put work in to look good, he chooses to do so because i do believe he likes to go back and admire his own work. ok, so boom:
starting off strong. dick pics masked as selfies, taken from a high angle with him spread out on the bed, one arm under his head, and he's CHEESIN' because he's got a nice smile and an even nicer cock. [side note: i really do think dick has a very pretty cock. circumcised, pink mushroom tip that, a vein or two that makes him twitch when you touch them, and it gets thicker at the base; not too thick, but thicker. leans further on the long side of the long v girthy scale]
jerk off vids where he's stroking his dick like crazy, on the verge of cumming while he's fully moaning your name into the mic. abs tightening while he cums all over them, chest heaving, and head thrown back.
also a fan of towel shots, but it's not wrapped around his waist. instead, he's actually just holding it in front of his crotch so you can see his entire body except his dick. muscular acrobat thighs fully on display. save me, dick grayson...dick grayson, save me
apart of the boner in sweats club, but i think he could go either the obvious or the understated route depending on his mood. as in, he's either sending you a pic of him grabbing it through his sweats or a mirror selfie where you have to search for it, but once you see it you literally can't unsee it
pics of his dick sent next to objects so he can show you how big it is, but that's very fratboy!dick coded, so it's not a common occurrence. UNLESS it's fratboy!dick because then he has more than a few on hand for when he adds another person to his roster
vids of him jerking off, but specifically in the shower. starts the video off on his face, showing off his wet hair, and the video seems like it's going nowhere until he pans to his dick in his hands. captioned something like "water isn't good lube. you should come over."
not a nude, but does send pics in the nightwing suit, and it's just as, if not more, slutty than any naked pic he could ever send
bonus: not that he'd ever send these, you'd have to find them on your own, but he HAS taken pics of his own ass before just to see what all the hype is about
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nadvs · 3 months ago
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just one time (one-shot)
pairing rafe cameron x kook! female reader
rating explicit 18+
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summary you’re constantly venting to rafe about how unlucky you are in love. one night, he gets fed up hearing about your insecurities and finally shows you how badly he’s always wanted you.
tags best friends to (temporary) lovers. alcohol mention. filthy smut. angsty ending. divider credit.
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Rafe Cameron gives it to people straight. Hell will be an ice rink before he offers anyone words that have been coated with sugar.
He’s been like that since you befriended him in the twelfth grade, when you both donned private school uniforms and jaded scowls that had no business being on the faces of privileged teenagers.
The only thing steady about Rafe is his honesty. It’s why you go to him for the truth. You know your best friend will dole it out without a single inhibition holding him back.
And it’s what you desperately need right now.
You’re lying in your bed and holding your thumb against your phone screen, every passing second cracking your heart a little more.
The cycle continues, the curse lives on – another man you have growing feelings for has indirectly rejected you, this time through a story on social media. The photo shows his hand holding a woman’s over a car console, paired with a sappy caption.
When you saw him last weekend, you ended the date with a kiss. He’s been on your mind since, while he probably forgot about you the second he drove off your street. He’s already with another woman. One he actually likes.
The all too familiar feeling of inadequacy screws a hole into your chest. You hate that something as trivial as validation from the men you date can hit you this hard, but it can and it does.
It’s a pattern now. Your texts go unanswered, your crushes unrequited, and at this point, you need to know what it is about you that men deem so unwantable.
You need Rafe and his unwavering disposition for telling the truth, no matter how ugly it is. You text him: come over?
He responds: What’s up? I’m with the guys.
You reply: need your opinion on something when you stop being too busy for me.
Maybe if you ask nicely.
You scoff to yourself. Typical Rafe, acting like time with him is a gift. You text: jerk.
Damn. Right to calling me names. Is it that bad?
You close the conversation, knowing you’re taking your disappointment out on him, but too pissed off to curb it. He lets his anger drive him; it’s rubbed off on you.
You’re just as upfront with him as he is with you. While he can tell you if you’re overreacting about a fight with a girlfriend, you can tell him when he’s been drinking too much. Honesty is the foundation of your friendship and you both hinge on this hard but necessary way of caring for each other.
After a few minutes, Rafe texts: I’ll head over soon. You know him well enough to imagine the annoyed huff he let out when he gave in to you and typed out the message.
As expected, Rafe’s friends give him shit when he tells them he’s leaving to see you. They’ve been like that for years, jeering him for being so soft for a girl who doesn’t even put out.
But their taunting doesn’t get under his skin. They don’t understand that Rafe could count the things he cares about on one hand and that you’re one of them.
They don’t know him as well as they think. They were all friends when he was an eighteen-year-old with a chip on his shoulder, but they had no clue what he was going through.
They didn’t know that he wasn’t getting any sleep because the fighting echoing through the walls at home kept him up. They didn’t know how hard he took the catastrophic divorce he had to watch unfold. They didn’t know how badly he needed to escape.
But you did. You let him slump next to you at the back of class for an entire semester, sleeping while you took two sets of notes. You reminded him to bust his ass until the end of the school year, giving him the tough love he needed to graduate.
And it was all because of one night, at a party, when he drunkenly confessed to you how shitty his life was and how he just wanted to make his dad proud after his mom left.
He’s never said it to you, but he owes you for pulling him out of the hole he’d fallen into back then. You were just a pretty girl assigned to sit next to him, until you became more, and he’s kept you close since.
Your bedroom is dimly lit. He doesn’t know what it is, if it’s a perfume or shampoo or cream you use, but he knows that he finds relief when he smells the familiar fragrance that means you’re around.
You shut your door behind him, falling into bed on your back, your hands over your eyes.
“Tell me,” he says, settling onto the edge of your bed. The mattress sinks with his weight. “Why’d I come all the way over here?”
“What’s wrong with me?” you ask.
Rafe’s eyes trail to where your shorts end, the flesh of your thighs tantalizingly swelling past the hem.
“A lot,” he jokes.
You sit up and he looks away. It’s a skill he’d mastered, forcing his eyes off of you at the right moment so you don’t catch him staring.
“Seriously,” you say, a tremble in your voice that you weren’t expecting. “I want to know.”
The hardness in his face fades, his stare melting into something gentler.
Moments like these, you see the guy you knew in school, the one who’d pretend he was heartless, when really, his emotions ran layers deeper than he ever let on.
“What do you mean?” Rafe asks.
“Why does every guy I like treat me like I’m nothing special?”
His hardness reappears, like a light being switched on.
“This shit again?” he mutters. “You called me over to talk about guys?”
“Be honest. What is it about me?”
He sighs your name in frustration, having heard this so many times. This is territory he refuses to go into with you.
If he’s honest, you’ll find the desire he’s hidden away from you and it’ll open a door he won’t be able to slam shut.
Feelings don’t last. Love is a joke. He learned that young. He’s not about to put himself through the same lesson and fuck things up with his best friend just because he finds her so agonizingly attractive.
“I need the truth,” you say. “I liked this guy and I thought he liked me, too, but he’s with another girl now and–”
“And what?” Rafe interrupts. “Did you want to marry him? You’re always crashing out over losers.”
You inch closer to him and pull your knees up to your chest, your stare doleful.
“Are they all losers?” you say. “Or are some of them right that I’m missing something?”
“You need to get your shit together,” he says sternly.
“I’m know I’m being pathetic,” you say. You gaze at him, at the crease between his brows, at the way his lips firm when he’s irritated. “But it’s just… what’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re being nice and I hate it.”
“Being nice,” Rafe repeats in a disbelieving huff.
“Just tell me what to fix.”
A tense silence blankets you both, you anticipating harsh words, him clueless as to what to do.
“Call one of your girlfriends for this,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I love them, but they’d just give me a pep talk and say that guys are intimidated by me or something,” you say. “This is why I called you.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Come on. I hear the gross way you talk about girls with your friends,” you reply.
Countless times, Rafe’s vulgarities have fallen on your ears, evidence of his rough and untamed edges. You’ll never be more than friends and that’s okay, because if he ever were to find a girl that he wants to be serious with, she’d have to tolerate his temper, his narcissism, his volatility.
And while you love him, you could never love him like that.
“Just pretend I’m a stranger,” you continue. “What would you say to your friends about me if you saw me enter a room?”
Rafe would rather not imagine you as a stranger. The thought of his life without you makes an empty feeling spiral in his gut.
He wants you from any distance. He craves the taste of your tongue, something he’s never even had. He dreams about your legs wrapped around his hips. He wants to hear the noises you make when you’re drunk in pleasure.
Fuck. Had he known he was walking into this, he never would have gotten into his car.
“Rafe,” you say impatiently, oblivious to the irritation that turns inside him whenever you force these types of conversations.
“For the fiftieth fucking time, you don’t need to change anything,” he says. “It’s like I’m talking to a wall.”
You exhale slowly and look down to your bedsheets, so used to his abrasiveness that it doesn’t even leave a scratch.
“That guy kissed me when he dropped me off,” you mumble. “Maybe I’m a bad kisser and that’s why he isn’t into me.”
Rafe’s eyes lower to your lips, glossy from the way you’d just licked them, and he can’t imagine those lips going anywhere near him and not being appreciated for it.
“I doubt it’s that,” he relents. You meet his blue eyes.
“You think so?” you ask.
“You’d know if you were bad at it,” he says. The square of his sharp jaw tenses.
“How?”
“You can just tell,” Rafe says. “Seriously… just get it together. You’ll be fine.”
He shuffles to stand up, but you pull him back by the crook of his elbow, your touch sending an electric current through his body.
“Why are you being more of an asshole than usual?” you ask. “Did something happen?”
He tries not to drown in your gaze, but he does, comforted by the sympathy that nobody else offers him.
“I can’t hear you saying this shit about yourself,” he admits. “And whatever I say just doesn’t register.”
“Rafe, be real with me. I know my body isn’t perfect and I know I’m not the prettiest girl around, so it’s not like I’m delusional.”
He scoffs. You are delusional. And it chips away at him, listening to you list your insecurities, ones that have no basis in reality.
You’re fucking beautiful and you have nothing to change and he doesn’t know nor care why the morons you date don’t see it.
“I can take the truth,” you repeat. “I think you’re just scared to be honest because you don’t want to hurt me.”
Your chest rises and falls with gentle breaths. Your eyes search his with caring curiosity. You’re enveloped in privacy for the millionth time, but he hasn’t ever felt this tempted to give in.
And he finally breaks.
“Kiss me, then. I’ll be honest,” Rafe murmurs, selfish and selfless at the same time.
Shock doesn’t touch your features, not for a second. You know he’d do anything for you, even go to these types of measures to prove you wrong.
You lean forward, your lips hesitatingly pressing on his. You slowly melt into the kiss, and it’s too easy to overlook the fact that the lips on yours are your best friend’s, as you’re revelling in how soft his lips are and tasting a hint of whiskey and savoring the arousal coiling in your core.
Your noses brush together as you push closer, perching on your knees, breath hitching when his big hands cradle your face.
His ring presses against your cheek, the ring you’ve seen him wear over so many years, and its hardness is a reminder of how long you’ve known him, how insane it is to be doing this with him.
He pulls back, dying to know if you feel it too, the spark sizzling in the air, the fire despairing to be stoked.
“You’re good,” he rasps, his breath warm on your cheek, hands still cupping your jaw.
“Just good?” you whisper sadly.
“Fuck,” Rafe mutters. His muscles are stiff and his boxers are getting tighter. He’ll go as far as you’ll let him go so he can prove to you that the words describing how badly he wants you don’t exist.
His grip firms, pulling you into him again. The more of your taste that he gets, the more he wants. He’s hungry for you, ravenous, and if you’re letting him finally surrender to his appetite, he’ll stop putting up this bullshit front that he doesn’t fantasize about you.
Your tongues run over each other’s, lips smacking as he pushes you down to your back.
Your mind is spinning. This is Rafe. The man who looks at you like you’re one of the guys, who tells you about his noncommittal hook-ups, who feels nothing but friendship for you.
Logic is dulled by lust and you give in completely. You hook an arm around his neck, writhing beneath him, begging for some friction.
He shifts to put his thigh between your legs as if you’ve done this before, giving you relief when you grind up against him. You’re tumbling into mindless bliss, starved for him, for the validation he can give you.
He’s hard against your thigh. It makes desire heat you from the inside out. You’re friends, but you’re not ignorant to the fact that he’s the most attractive man you know, so feeling his body’s charge for you is intoxicating.
You lower a hand, feeling for the bulge beneath his jeans, touching him in a way you never would have expected to, feeling yourself getting wetter.
Rafe ducks his head, teeth nipping at your neck, hips rolling into yours as you stroke his cock, too many layers of clothes between you.
“You’re fucking hot, alright?” he murmurs into your ear. You can only nod as you continue to rub his length, anticipating how he’ll feel inside of you. “I’ll prove it to you.”
“Just one time,” you whisper, because even though you’re lost in the moment, you’re not so stupid that you won’t build a safeguard around your heart.
You’ve already been fooled by the familiar emotions rushing through you, tricking you into thinking that a man wanting to fuck is a man capable of love.
You need to remember it, especially now. You know Rafe. He doesn’t want love and he doesn’t want to give it.
“One time,” he echoes. “Take your shirt off.”
You’re trembling beneath him, your words caught in your throat, eagerly shifting to pull your top over your head. The moment you’re left in your bra, he digs his head into your chest, hands gripping your tits tightly, breathing in sharply.
Rafe’s kisses are sloppy and heated and he roughly pulls down the cups of your bra, exposing you, stabilizing himself on his elbows as he drinks in how goddamn perfect you are.
The closest he’s ever been to seeing you naked in the past was when he’d notice the peaks of your nipples under a shirt or a bikini. He’d imagine how they’d feel in his mouth. He doesn’t have to imagine anymore.
His lips close around your nipple, sucking and licking, earning soft, surprised moans from you. Your hand finds his hair, fingernails dragging over his scalp as he wets your chest with his spit.
“Wow,” you breathe. You can feel yourself clenching for him, your hips stuttering in need. Your hands drag down his back, bunching up his t-shirt.
He sits up to pull it off and throw it to the floor, looking down at you, his body broad and hard and heaving. You spread your legs wider, slowly pitching your hips forward with desperate eyes.
His lips part like he’s about to say something, but he speaks with his body instead, resting his hand between your legs to slowly stroke his thumb over you. You sigh in pleasure when he rolls over your clit, silently begging him to take what’s left of your clothes off.
Rafe keeps his eyes on yours when his fingers hook under your shorts, wriggling to make sure he’s captured the band of your panties, too. He drags them down your legs, gazing at you like he’s never seen a naked woman before, his face pinched in awe.
“God,” he moans. He doesn’t waste a second. His chest is on your bed, his head between your legs, and his open mouth makes contact, hot and wet and perfect.
He laps at you, drool rolling down the side of his mouth, his face drenched in your arousal. You gaze at him through half-lidded eyes, gentle whimpers spilling out of your mouth.
The thought of someone not wanting you feels like an unknown concept, like something that never even crossed your mind. He’s ravishing you like he’ll die if he stops.
He’s licking and sucking with abandon, reaching every inch, dipping his tongue inside and sighing in pleasure simply from tasting you.
“Your pussy’s so sweet,” he rasps against your inner thigh. “I’m going to fuck you so fucking hard. Say you want it.”
You throw your head back in ecstasy, thoughts a tangled mess. This is not what best friends are supposed to do. You don’t care.
“Please,” your voice comes out weak and honeyed, eyes shut. “Now.”
Anticipation rolls through you when you hear Rafe unzip his pants. His jeans are bunched up at the end of your bed and he hovers over you and you’re so glad that he doesn’t wait.
He holds himself at his base, guiding into your heat, filling you quickly, the pressure hard but perfect.
Your stomach numbs when he bottoms out and surrounds you in himself, the realization hitting you like a wave that he’s inside you right now, that he feels you as intensely as you feel him, that your bodies are joined in a way you never thought they would be.
He rocks back to thrust into you, your body jolting, your legs wrapping around him. He finds a rhythm, every push into you paired with a heavy exhale as his cheek presses against yours.
The line between you blurs and breaks with every movement.
“Tell me you’ll stop talking like that,” Rafe demands. He rolls his eyes from the thrill of how tight you are around his cock, squeezing him in hot, wet velvet. It’s so much better than he imagined.
“I will,” you promise. His chest is firm and hot against you, skin sticking with sweat.
“I don’t want to hear it anymore,” he whispers, voice strained. “I want you to remember how bad I wanted to fuck you whenever you think that stupid shit about yourself.”
“Yes,” you whisper. Rafe doesn’t care enough to lie. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t fake what you do to him. He’s being honest when he says there’s nothing about yourself that you need to change.
He’s driving into you at a perfect angle, giving your clit sweet friction against his groin, pulling you closer into an orgasm. Your hands are on his hard back, feeling his muscles tense and loosen.
He kisses your neck, telling himself to remember every single detail. Your noises and your aroma and your touch. You said it yourself, just one time, and you’re right, because he’s never had his heart involved in sex like this.
It’s fucked up and wrong for him to feel what he’s feeling. He’s proving a point, he’s indulging a fantasy, and that’s it.
“Shit,” you whisper, back arching as the coil in you gets closer to snapping. “I’m…”
You come with a shudder, your entire body tightening around him, fireworks sparking every single nerve in your system. Pleasure pools you from head to toe, leaving you shaking.
Rafe groans when he feels you flutter around him, pulsating with your peak. He starts to thrust harder and sloppier, dismissing the notion of making this last and instead giving in to the impulse to take the same satisfaction he’s given you.
He comes inside you with a hitched breath, his mouth open at the crook of your neck as a rush of euphoria rips through him.
And he collapses. Body against body, still inside you, panting with you, blissed out and so fucking confused.
The lust dissolves and reality sinks in and he can tell by the look on your face that you’re thinking the same thing when he pulls out: What the fuck did you just do together?
It comes with years of knowing each other; he can read your expression, not needing to hear the words to know you regret this, too.
You sit up, pulling your sheet over your chest, eager to pretend there’s a boundary even after what you’d just done.
“I believe you now,” you say with a thin voice, desperate to somehow put back together the pieces you’d just shattered, even through a lighthearted joke. “You fixed me.”
Despite himself, Rafe huffs a chuckle, leaning against the wall, following your cue to cover up, acting like you hadn’t just plunged into an unreal level of intimacy.
You stare at each other from across the bed, the weight of your friendship, all the shared memories and inside jokes and ridiculous arguments and promise of an uncomplicated bond, now on shaky ground.
His eyes travel over your pretty features, having never felt this after sex. Satisfied, but famished for more.
“I didn’t mean for… I mean, that’s not why I called you,” you say awkwardly. You take in his pink cheeks, the sweat sheened over his skin, his lips wet and parted. “I… didn’t plan this.”
“I know,” he replies. “Me, neither. It was just one time.”
“Right,” you say.
It’s what you agreed to.
He wanted to prove something to you and he did.
And if you have any respect for each other, if you have any cares for keeping your friendship and not messing it up with sex any more than you already have, you know it’ll need to stay that way.
Just one time.
(the end)
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