#jen kale roleplay

[kalekare]

Aquitted. The word rings in her ears like seraphim song. Sure, it was only relief for one of many lawsuits filed against her, but Jen let's the possibility of redemption wash over her.

She had been fingering Alice's chains in the depth of her pocket while on the stand. Even without the protection witch there in person, she had managed to protect her.

Knocking on Alice's front door, she pulls the chains from her pockets. Under her arm is a celebratory bottle of champagne and a bottle of whiskey.

@alice-wuing-ur-ass-lol

[kalekare]

I lost my damn shoe.

night out with the gays

@kalekare @alice-wuing-ur-ass-lol @cansomeonetakemetotheroad

[cassie-mun-the-daughter-of-death]

Welcome!

Main acc: @utterlyvertigo

This is a roleplay acc for my oc Cassandra Mun. Agathario daughter

Any violence/homophobia will result in immediate block

- C.M 🌸

My Coven:

💜 @fagatharkness - Agatha Harkness, my Mum, witch killer, killer style, occasionally bursts into song, also happens to be Jolene (yes that Jolene)

🖤 @theeegreenwitch - Rio Vidal, my Mamí, Lady Death herself, owns an emotional support knife, seems scary but she’s the sweetest

💛 @winemothercalderu - Lilia Calderu, my unofficial aunt, she lives rent free in my mum’s basement, likes wine and tarot

❤️ @alice-wuing-ur-ass-lol - Alice Wu Gulliver, our favourites hot topic girl, flirts with Lilia and Jen loads, also has a famous witch mother

🩷 @kalekare - Jennifer Kale, bound witch bestie, unfairly perfect skin, she makes face creams which are apparently delicious

💙 @cansomeonetakemetotheroad - Billy Maximoff, emo dude and total witchcraft nerd, I used to babysit him

🩵 @speedy-toby - Toby Tommy Maximoff, the fast one, also babysat him, currently not in an existing body

🩶 @nickythescratching - Nicholas Scratch, my older brother, he’s the best, also not in a body for some reason

❤️ @maximoffher-rocker - Wanda Maximoff, the twins mother, my mums situationship from hell

💚 @since-51 - Mrs Hart Sharon, my next door neighbour, plant expert, she’s makes really good pies

🧡 @yourfavouriteboyf - Eddie, Billy’s boytoy, our pet human

🤍 @alexandramayisgay - Alexandra, literal chaos incarnate, Alice’s friend and I think she’s Lilia’s ex??

🩶 @bitemarksonyourveins - Carmen, taking “blood” witch to a whole new freaky level!

🩵 @literallybornfromspite - Sabrina, not the teenage witch, my half sister-? (Complete and utter bitch! Harkness/Kale beef lives in me)

[kalekare]

JEN JEN JEN

LIL, LIL, LIL!? You sound like you've got gossip?

[kalekare]

What is the customer service number I should call to resolve the problem of plastic balls in the cream I bought from your store? I almost choked.

No, you don't need to know why I was trying to eat the face cream.

For the love of the dark mother, Nicolas: stop eating my face creams 😭 But FYI those aren't plastic, they are reconstituted sugar cane. It's on the label 🏷

[kalekare]

The mud feels like a clay mask against her skin. Jen thinks, as she sinks deeper into the abyss, that at least she'll leave a beautiful and well moisturized corpse. But fate intervenes, as it tends to do, as she feels Lilia's hand gripping her own and begins to rise slowly from the tar-like earth.

She gasps at the cool air as her dirt-sodden face emerges. She coughs up the mud, moving her legs against the thickness until she is at last free from it. With Lilia's help, she gets to her feet and wipes the mud from her face, heaving.

"What the hell happened?" She exclaims, shoulders rising and falling in labored breath. Lilia is covered in it too, and behind her she can see Agatha equally drenched. She narrows her eyes at Rio, assuming she had been the culprit. She has no memory of Teens betrayal.

Her eyes dart back to Lilia, pleading for answers.

@notthatkindofwitch @winemothercalderu @theeegreenwitch

She’d stand in front of Agatha. “So whats the plan?” Clearly ready to help her somewhat ex-wife. She didn’t need to ask any questions, she trusted the witch. “Are we going to kill him?” She’d ask, already plotting ways to kill the boy for betraying them.

Carefully scanning Agatha for any injuries, her eyes soft as she looks at the girl. She’d brush some dirt off of Agathas sleeve.

[kalekare]

My inbox is OPEN for business 💋 Nothing is off-limits*

(*off limits: litigation against jennifer kale or kale kare™)

[kalekare]

Why does the code “D0NT0RDERIFURAHARKNESS” take me off of the Kale KareTM website?

Weird. It should also plunge you into the firey belly of Hell for 8-10 minutes. I better get IT on that ��� In my defense , it was intended for A. HARKNESS rather than a Harkness. Singular. Now you little demon babies are popping out of the ground like gnomes (said with love 💋)

[kalekare]

Hey Jennn, I got wine and some of your things to return, wanna hang?

Alway 💋 I'll make a charcuterie board. Just be warned there is some snoopy guy from CNN hiding in the bushes. Run, don't walk.

[kalekare]

Jen I accidentally dropped the advil you gave me down the drain. Like all of it... can I come by to pick up some more?

How does someone drop six pills down a drain, Alice? Has Lilia been feeding you wine?

But yes, obviously. We don't need our protection witch laid out by a headache. But you save me first, mkay? 💋

[kalekare]

How’s that lawsuit of yours going, Kale? 🌸

Defamation. Hersey. Libel. The world just can't accept a strong Hoodoo woman doing well in business 👏 I've had second degree burns pulling bread out of my toaster - should I sue KitchenAid?

[kalekare]

I heard the rumour that u hate Agatha for her past. Is it true?

I did. I hated her with every cell in my body. But I was also convinced she was evil. Rumor is an ugly thing.

I know better now: and though she still drives me mad at times - I can't hate her for her past. I know too much now: all that pain. She wasn't born bad. The world wanted a monster, and she said strap the fuck in.

[kalekare]

you may wanna check your garden jennifer.

*falls to her knees amidst a sea of rotting foliage, dramatic fist shake* DAMN YOU RIOOOO.

[kalekare]

Lil can say it, Sharon. You probably can't 🤐 #butwhosetosay

night out with the gays

@kalekare @alice-wuing-ur-ass-lol @cansomeonetakemetotheroad

[kalekare]

Don't make me slap you with a cease and desist 😶‍🌫️

My inbox is OPEN for business 💋 Nothing is off-limits*

(*off limits: litigation against jennifer kale or kale kare™)

[kalekare]

Look, sometimes after a few vinos the girls just need to breathe.

night out with the gays

@kalekare @alice-wuing-ur-ass-lol @cansomeonetakemetotheroad