#jean too but you know hes far more accepting of it than the options above

[dayurno]

kevin would be so many teen boys’ queer awakenings. i think he would have been jeremy’s for sure. kevin day and the way every man is cursed to be a little obsessed with him

YEAH HONESTLY i always think about how uncharismatic kevin is and how much he must've been in riko's shadow as number two but then i remember that kevin is tall dark and handsome and i'm good again. he might not have brought home the gold but he did make freshman jeremy knox stutter in front of the entire team so there's always going to be hope for him

also neil honestly. i think one day he's going to wake up and realize it was all puberty. all those pictures of kevin he cut up and put in his binder. when he'd linger at kevin's arms or legs or waist. ALL puberty. and then he's going to be so mortified about it he's never going to bring it up again

[elisysd]

Epilogue

Masterlist - Previously

Monaco - May 2024

“Charles Leclerc is the Monaco Grand Prix winner!” 

The room erupted in cheers and cries. Hugs were met in awkward embraces while tears were streaming down his loved ones faces. Years of hard work and sacrifices finally paid off. And it was so worth it. He could feel his own tears on his cheeks but he didn’t care. That win mattered more than any others. Frantically he searched for his team on the side and ran towards them. Arthur was crying, Lorenzo was not far from doing so, Joris was a happy mess, Andrea was beaming with pride but the only face that truly mattered to him was so far in the back that the only thing he could notice was the hair and the sunglasses perched above. He tried to tell everyone to move so you could make your way to him but no one was hearing him and far too soon he was dragged away from the red sea acclaiming him like the hometown hero he was. 

On the podium, he tried to engrave every sensation he was feeling. The sun on his face, the cool breeze making its way under the monegasque flag resting around his shoulders, the applause and chants from the crowd. When he opened his eyes, he met almost immediately yours. You were there, next to his mom who was keeping her hand in yours. You had cried and maybe you were still doing so. 

It hadn’t been a walk in the park for both of you since Abu Dhabi. You had moved back to Paris and had been swamped by work and opportunities. The podcast had taken off very well and you knew you partly had Charles to thank for that. It was going on so well that your old boss had come crawling back to you, trying to persuade you to sell the projects to the channel so it could have a broader audience. You politely declined the offer but not without asking Jean and Marion if they were interested in working with you. Your new goal was to expand the coverage to Formula 2 and Formula 3. Moto GP was also a target, but you couldn’t do it on your own, especially since Susie Wolff had offered you to partner with the F1 Academy. And besides the podcast, you also had a Youtube channel where you were broadcasting reports and soon a website. A lot of work that you couldn’t achieve all alone. Jean and Marion hadn’t given a lot of thought to the project, accepting almost immediately, eager and enthusiastic to work with you again. 

Needless to say that you had barely enough time for your personal life. But it didn’t matter, you were managing it. Whenever Charles had time, he was coming to Paris and you were trying your best to fit him in your schedule. Your relationship with Charles was going slowly but you both didn’t mind. You were taking your time, truly getting to know one another in every way possible to the point that now you could say you were knowing his soul by heart. And he could say the same about you. All was well. 

You were waiting near the hospitality where Charles was going to arrive any minute now. You couldn’t wait to see him, especially since you had good news to tell him. You had kept it for yourself for a while now, waiting for the right opportunity to tell him. If Monaco was working out, it would have been an added bonus and if it didn’t, it would have been nice comforting news. You were glad it was the first option. 

He finally came through the door, hair a mess and his trophy firmly pressed against his chest. 

“Congrats, champ!” you said as you put a hand on his cheek.

“I did it. I finally did it. Can you believe it?”

“I do. Because I always had faith in you and in your talent.”

“Not always,” he winked, giving you a slow kiss, shushing you as you were about to reply.

“I have something to tell you,” you slowly said, both hands laid flat against his chest as you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath in. 

Charles took your hands in his, guiding you towards the sofa as he gave you a worried look. 

“It’s not bad,” you quickly reassured him. “On the contrary, I think it will make you happy,” you paused before continuing. “With how much the podcast and everything revolving around it grows, I thought it was time to search for offices. That way, it will be easier to separate my professional life with the personal one. I need it. And maybe it will be the occasion to recruit some new people. And I found ones which I really loved. I signed the lease on Friday, so I guess it is official.”

Charles gulped, unsure of what to say. On one hand, he was happy for you, truly. He loved seeing you going for things you were passionate about. But at the same time, it was hard to see you building your life so far away from him.

“I’m glad, that’s nice,” he managed to say. 

“Yeah, and I’m sure you will love them.”

“I have no doubt. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to travel to Paris to see them, though.”

“That’s a good thing, they are in Monaco, then,” you winked as his mouth was opening and closing in disbelief. 

“Monaco? But… how? Why? When?”

“Because I wanna get closer to you. I want to see you more and have more time for us. I think that if I’m there, it will be easier to find the right balance. As much as I don’t like the idea of delegating, I know that I need to. And if it results from being by your side more than a few days a month, then I think it’s only right to take that step. And who doesn’t want to have a view of the sea from the office?” 

Charles was at a loss for words. He had so many questions to ask but didn’t know where to start. 

“So you’re leaving Paris?”

“I do. I found an apartment in Menton. And who knows, if everything goes to plan, maybe in a few months, we can move in together.”

It was not the first time the subject was dropping but you had quickly come to an agreement that you both needed to find the right pace in your relationship and as long as you were comfortable by being the way you were, there was no need to rush anything. And as you both had discussed it, the day you would move in together, it would be in a neutral place where no bad and bitter memories were living in the walls. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” he asked, stars in his eyes, cradling your face. 

“I know, I am. But I can only be amazing if you are as well. And you, Charles Leclerc, you are the most perfectly imperfect man I’ve come across. I love you today, tomorrow and for as long as you will want me.”

“Then, I hope you are ready for forever,” he smiled. 

“Even forever doesn’t seem long enough.”

Author's note: What a ride it has been but the final word has been written down. Again, thank you for everything and your support. Genuinely, I think that if you hadn't been there motivating me, this story wouldn't have been finished and I would have given up a long time ago. So thanks you. This story is more yours than it ever been mine. Thank you for bearing with me and the messy schedule upload. Until next time and until then, I will take a few weeks of rest while preparing the next story. I'll post snippet soon.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

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[joels6string]

Whatever Helps You Sleep

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: It's a restless night for you and the nomad you've been tied to in search of a new place to call home.

Rating: E

Word Count: 2.8k

Content: unprotected p in v sex, fingering, creampie in a post-apocalyptic world like morons, so much desperation, Joel Miller being a grumpy but standup guy

Everything hurt. All the fucking time. 

Every joint throbbed, the balls and socket grinding and scraping, each taut fiber threading beneath your skin begging for any release of the eternal tension that had settled in over two decades ago, the cold you’d still not gotten used to amplifying the ache as you laid on the rickety old mattress on the floor. The springs jutting into your back certainly didn’t help, nor did the sounds in the distance too far away to identify. The knots in your stomach mimicked the ones that had settled into each muscle, your teeth chattering against the chill of the fall night. 

“Why you twitchin’ like that?” Joel. 

The man you now traveled with had found you holed up alone in a building, your fingers trembling on a rifle that looked too big in your hands and eyes wide enough to display the fear that had consumed your every waking minute clear as day. The loss of your group at the hand of bandits had left you alone and unfit to travel the infected-swarmed lands around you. You’d accepted your fate to starve to death or put a bullet in your own brain should you get a bite. While you hadn’t been the weakest link on your team, you couldn’t go it solo. But Joel and his 15-year-old girl, Ellie had come bursting through in search of supplies and while he’d made you beg for your life with the cold metal of his revolver pressed to your temple, he let you keep it, offering safe passage through to the next habitable town. 

That was months ago.

“Sorry,” you mumbled at his complaint, you hadn’t even realized you’d been doing it. 

“What hurts?” he asked, that gravelly voice heavy with exhaustion, or maybe exasperation. 

“I’m fine.”

“Then stop movin' so damn much.”

Easier said than done. That rhythmic movement was the only thing easing the pain and keeping you even slightly warm, your subconscious searching for relief here in a rare quiet moment. An old bullet wound in your hip always flared up when the temperature got too low, paired with years of unrest and panic, comfort was nothing but a forgotten memory. 

“You’re makin’ the floor seem like a better option,” he grunted again, guilt joining the churning turmoil in your gut.

“I’m sorry.”

“You cold?”

Yes. Yes, you were fucking cold. It had to be no more than 40 degrees and all you had was a pair of jeans worn thin as the tissue paper that had gone extinct far too soon and a flannel that barely reached your wrists. You were freezing. 

“I said I’m fine,” you snapped back, thankful Joel had given Ellie the bedroom to sleep in, she needed the rest away from the bickering.

“I know what you said,” he retorted, “but you ain’t good at lying.”

He had you there. Especially when your dishonesty manifested in a hunt for solace from perpetual agony. 

“Is it your hip?” He knew. He’d pulled the bullet out and cauterized it not even two months into your time with them. Your piercing wails as the searing hot metal had seared at your flesh still haunted your nightmares, the smell burned into your nose, and Joel’s apologetic fretting at the time was the most unguarded you’d ever seen him. For a moment he made you think he actually cared.

“Yeah,” you muttered, arguing was fruitless.

“Undo your jeans.” What did he say? “Get some heat and pressure on it.”

In the search for any form of reprieve, you did as he asked. He’d gotten up, you could hear water sloshing and the click of the propane heating plate you’d used to warm your dinner, his heavy boots thudding above your head before his weight dipped the mattress again. 

“May I?” His tone was gentle and quiet—wary—and you nodded.

Joel was an attractive man, and not just by today’s standards but by general ones. Tall, broad, and sun-goldened skin, his hair and beard graying faster than they should beneath the weight he carried. Despite his hulking frame and aloof demeanor, there was a grace to him; you hated admitting to yourself that should he ever ask, you’d be more than willing to offer yourself up. You’d done well to repress the urges you first felt walking behind him and watching his wide shoulders sway and his competence around weapons and foraging alike, but every so often they crept back, usually on nights like this where you begged for a sliver of respite. 

A warm, wet cloth pressed against the hideous scar marring the side of your hip, a loud sigh whooshing from your lips. It did feel nice. The heat washed down to your numb toes, his large palm holding pressure down that did alleviate enough of the misery that owned you to let you settle, your knees no longer rubbing together in search of comfort. 

“You’re freezing,” he noted, and you bit back the retort on your tongue teasing him for pointing out the obvious, “I gave Ellie the blanket, all I got is a coat.”

“It’s fine,” you lied again, the heel of his palm pressing down and drawing a relieved cry from your parted lips as your cheeks heated in embarrassment. 

He did it again, massaging out the rigidity holding you hostage, the muscle loosening beneath his weight, trigger points releasing as he pressed them against the bones of your pelvis. When the rag had cooled, you expected him to roll over and try to sleep again, but a large hand swallowed you whole as he continued, now skin on skin, the sensation sending a forbidden surge between your thighs. This time, your teeth sunk into your lower lip in lieu of allowing the traitorous whines from breaking free. He’d gotten closer at some point, you could feel the heat radiating off of his body, your resolve holding strong enough to resist closing the remaining distance between you. 

“Why didn’t you leave me with that group a few months back?” you finally asked, the question had been burning in your mind since he’d refused to let you stay with a small civilization you’d found. It had been your original agreement after all. 

“Didn’t trust ‘em,” he answered quietly, his fingers continuing to knead into your flesh, “I have enough trouble sleepin’.”

That was as heartfelt as Joel Miller was going to get tonight. 

Callouses met scar tissue as you melted into the lumps in the surface molding around you now, his trigger finger finding a new skill as he soothed you to enough comfort to have your eyelids fluttering closed. The cold still nipped at your toes and nose, your body trembling as a result despite the searing hot palm on your skin. But at least the pain had receded enough.

“Scootch on back,” he murmured, tugging on you lightly in what resembled more of an offer than an instruction, but it was one you couldn’t refuse. 

Within seconds you were no longer yearning for the scratchy wool blanket Joel kept folded in his pack, his chest firm against your back, knees locked behind yours, and a heavy hand on your lower stomach the only source of warmth you needed. You sought more, closing what little distance remained between you as he shifted to allow you the space to do so, your smaller frame fitting easily in the stretch of his chest. 

“Now will you stop fidgetin’?” The husky tone he spoke with was softer than the first, less perturbed, his fingers still brushing through the open waistband of your jeans. 

It was mortifying but practically instinctual the way you pressed your backside against him, hoping his fingers would slip lower, breach the fraying waistband of the panties you’d cycled through for too many years. He stiffened slightly as you repeated the motion, desperate as lust took control, you could feel it in the way his bicep flexed on your arm and his palm pressed slightly tighter. The proximity allowed you to vibrate with the repressed groan he kept trapped in his chest, your brain too fogged from the scent of dirt and gunpowder clinging to his skin and the way his beard caught on your hair as he shifted, pressing his growing bulge against you lightly. 

“Joel…” It fell pathetically from your lips, whining and dazed as your stomach tensed at his offer to give what you’d so ardently desired. 

He clicked his tongue. “Why d’you gotta say it like that?”

“Please.”

Whatever control he’d been gripping like the barrel of his shotgun fell away, his hand leaving your abdomen to sting in the stark temperature change and pinch your chin, turning your face towards his own. You could barely see him in the dark, but the vulnerability swimming in his eyes glowed in the faint moonlight seeping in from the window. Did you take this plunge? There was no going back. Not for you. When you parted ways—and you knew you would—what happened then? Would you get over him? This man that saved your life more times than you could count with your fingers and toes, fed you before himself, and fought the battles you couldn’t. In a world as broken as this, Joel Miller stood alone.

His kiss was timid, testing the limits and giving you enough time to change your mind here and now before it escalated. Always the gentleman. But when you pulled his bottom lip between your own deepening what he’d begun, it took seconds for his tongue to dart into your waiting mouth and unleash a dam of pent-up attraction and need. 

The fervor you accepted his affections with only fueled the embering fire, his growl of appreciation echoing in your mouth as your fingers thread into his hair to pull him closer, the grayed locks softer than you expected. You didn’t know what to expect from him, was he generous or selfish? Greedy or giving? The question was answered as his weathered fingers slowly slid down your torso, palming roughly at your breasts as he kissed you still before slipping them beneath the final barrier and cupped at your mound, his middle slowly dragging through your slit.

“Jesus Christ,” he marveled at the slick that had accumulated, your lips brushing through the whiskers on his jaw as you spread your thighs wider to grant him access.

No time was wasted, too much had already and that was being made very clear by the sopping mess between your thighs and the franticness Joel’s belt and jeans were undone to relieve the pressure on the effect you had over him. His middle digit found your clit, circling slowly while he enjoyed the way your back was arching and the subdued whimpers ever so faintly evident in your panting breath. His hair was still knotted in your grasp and you greedily tugged his lips back to yours, sloppily kissing him as you let the heat coursing through you take control, losing your inhibitions and enjoying this long-awaited moment.

Your gluttonous body welcomed him eagerly when he dragged lower and slid inside your waiting channel, his hand clamping over your mouth just in time to muffle the wanton cry that finally broke free. The way he shushed you only made it worse, your body bucking down against his hand impatient for more. Slipping his ring finger in stretched you even further, his pace increasing as you writhed in his hold, your breath hot on his palm as it puffed out in blissful little gusts. 

“Warmin’ up?” he cooed gruffly, his tone hinting at cocky as you cried out again, his fingers scratching at the rough patch deep inside of blackening what little your vision could see.

You were teetering on the edge, your body rocking on the precipice before his thumb pressed down on your buzzing bundle of nerves and sent you rappelling down into euphoria. White hot heat banished the last of the cold that lingered, your hairline damp as your shirt clung to the sweat pouring down your back. 

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he soothed, continuing gentler now as you spasmed in his arms, “That felt good, didn’t it?”

All you could muster was a nod, the hand that was still lightly covering your mouth gripping your chin and directing your mouth to his again, his tongue probing into your parted lips as you collected enough coherence to kiss him lazily in return. 

“Your turn,” you breathed, a crooked smirk twitching as he pulled your jeans down to the middle of your thighs, shifting enough to free himself from his loosened garments. 

“You tell me if it ain’t right,” he instructed, nuzzling his nose behind your ear as the head of his cock slipped between your folds, pushing into you slowly as he sighed in contentment.

It was right. It was so fucking right you instinctually fucked yourself back, sheathing him completely in one swift movement. He was long and thick, stretching you past where any other had gotten you, your body molding around him as if it had been waiting for him to make it whole. A hand on your hip kept you still had he began to gently rut into you, acclimating to the feeling of being immersed in a woman’s warm, wet heat in an effort to not cut this shorter than it already probably would be. You were impossibly full, it had been a long time since you’d trusted anyone enough for this, your fingers no match for what he could do and the way he made you feel.

“Shit, you feel good,” he purred in that Texan accent that made you swoon, “You okay?”

“Uh-huh,” you gasped, your fingers returning to his hair to cradle him close.

The pace picked up, his hand on your hip sliding back between your thighs as he thrust harder and faster chasing a high he hadn’t felt in years. You wanted more, wanted to give him more, and as he began to lose control your body began to drift from your side to your stomach, his arms working to brace himself over your prone form as you lifted your hips slightly into the air to feel every punch of his hips on yours. Your ass rippled against his force, his grunts fueling the second wave crashing against your lower abdomen, the pressure building rapidly as he fucked into you like a man starved. The crook of your arm caught your sounds as he sought relief in you, the only thing keeping you in place were his hands as your knees slipped on the bare surface of the mattress you were pressed into. 

“Fuckin’ hell,” he mewled, slamming you back onto his length as he surged forward, every inch of him buried deep in your cunt until you were strangling him as you came again, him following not long behind.

When he finally stilled you could feel him spurting thick and hot inside of you, your pussy still twitching around him as your shaky legs burned from the exertion. As he pulled out you whined in protest at the loss, your body collapsing down as he reached for a rag and began wiping what was leaking from between your legs. 

“Shouldn’t have done that,” he griped as another glob dripped free, “Got carried away.”

“Timing should work in our favor,” you eased, your cycle still the only normal thing left in this God-forsaken world and he grunted in acknowledgment, his brow relaxing from its concerned grimace. 

“We should get some sleep.”

You nodded, watching him carefully as he settled back down on his back, his head turning to peer at you and finding your wide-eyed anticipation staring back at him. With a chuckle he opened his right arm out welcoming you onto his chest, a gesture you scampered to take before he changed his mind. You tucked yourself into the space between his neck and jaw, your arm draping over his middle as he wrapped you up tight. It didn’t take long to fall asleep. 

When you woke the next morning he was already up, repacking up and readying for another day on the road to nowhere. 

“We’re headin’ down to settle somewhere,” he sounded from the corner, his gaze remaining locked on his open pack, “figured you could get your fresh start there.”

“With you?” you asked timidly, your voice still heavy with sleep after the best night of rest you’d had in years.

“I don’t see why not.”

Ellie’s arrival into the kitchen you and Joel had slept in cut your conversation short, her always perceptive eyes flicking from you to Joel on the other side of the room. 

“Did you two finally seal the deal?” the teenager asked nonchalantly, both your faces falling in horror. You thought you’d been quiet. “What? Don’t worry, my innocent eyes and ears were spared if you did. You’ve just…never smiled at her when she’s actually looking.”

Joel Miller Masterlist

Series coming soon: More Than My Father’s Son

[bratkook]

tied up. (m) jjk.

pairing. biker!jk x reader genre. smut, pwp, fluff, established relationship word count. 6k of just filth <3 warnings. light bondage, oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, light overstimulation, spanking, begging, sweet dirty talk, cum play/stuffing, oc tries to be in control hehe summary. jungkook would do absolutely anything you asked. which is how he found himself on his back, arms tied up above his head, with you perched on his lap and a look on your face that meant trouble. note. little valentine’s day special for deep six!couple (it’s a pwp so no need to read the original story) i hope you enjoy it, lmk what you think ❣️

Never in a million years did Jungkook expect to be in this position. He’s a tough man, always clad in leather and thick rings, covered in dark tattoos, riding around on a loud bike with his club patch adorning his back. 

Yet here he was, laying on his back with his arms above his head, while your cute self sat perched on his hips, eyes sparkling and a giddy smile on your red coated lips. All because he was so inexplicably weak for you. 

“This is what you want?” Jungkook questions for the first time in the span of ten minutes. 

When he arrived home earlier, hands holding a giant plush teddy bear with a bouquet of sunflowers and baby’s breath between it’s paws, his attention was momentarily on the two dogs at his feet yapping for him to acknowledge. Jungkook had been too focused on petting the tiny furballs to notice you weren’t in the room, but when the usual feeling of your hands sliding around him in greeting was missing, he stood back up with a look of confusion. 

It wasn’t until he wandered further into the house, following a small trail of rose petals that lead from the front door all the way to the bedroom, that he finally spotted you. Sitting on the center of the bed in the dimly lit room, a few candles scattered on the dresser and nightstands, flames dancing and illuminating the scene in a warm glow, casting your form in a golden hue that left you looking unreal.

A silk ribbon lingerie set that matched your lipstick hugged your curves, tied up bows covering your nipples, completed by a matching garter belt hugging your waist with gold detailed chains dangling down to your thighs. It was as if you had taken a screenshot of Jungkook’s deepest desires and brought them to life, placed right in front of him, positioned perfectly in order to pull him in.

“Happy Valentine’s day,” you had murmured so sweetly, hands placed delicately over your thighs with your legs tucked under your butt, slowly beckoning him over when he had stood in a state of shock at the door. 

It didn’t take much to get Jungkook wired when it came to you, but seeing you covered in silk ribbons, looking like the perfect present he wanted to unwrap, made his mind blank. It’s that same horndog dazed look on his face that you knew so well, roping him in with your tender kisses and roaming hands, marking his skin in shades of red in a trail from his neck to his ear. This is not entirely how he thought the night would go, his earlier plans blanking from his mind, the teddy bear he held now placed on the nightstand while you lured him in.

“I wanna try something,” you had suggested, soft breath tickling his skin and turning him into a puddle at your feet. 

“Anything.” Jungkook meant it, always willing to do whatever you wanted with unmatched enthusiasm. So when you brought out a jute rope and used your sultry voice to ease him onto his back, slowly undressing him until his top half was bare, he could feel his heart thumping erratically in his chest. 

The question he had asked minutes prior continues to hang in the air as you loop the rope under a final time and pull the bight through, pulling tight to lock the knot in and tugging gently to double check that it wasn’t pinching his skin. The red rope compliments his skin, the double-column tie keeping his hands snug against the bed frame in the perfect position. 

“This is what I want,” you confirm, fingers trailing from his bound wrists, down the veins that covered his arms, and the black ink that painted his skin. Jungkook felt a trail of fire that followed your touch, burning his skin with molten pleasure while you continued down onto his chest, fingertips feeling the bumps of the golden chain he always wore with your initial on it. You admire it for a brief moment, loving the way it glimmers on his chest before your hands continue their path, sliding down until you reach his sides, hands cupped over his ribs and feeling the racing of his heart. 

“Nervous?” you tease, teeth biting down onto your lower lip, your thumb gently soothing his skin. You had half the mind to be a brat and tickle him, knowing he had no way to swat you away like he always did now that his hands were tied to the bed frame, but you could see the small shivers racking his body from being in this position. Jungkook was horny, and a little intimidated by you. 

“You make me nervous. Always look so pretty,” he trails off softly, eyes glazed over as he observes you. There would never be a time where Jungkook wouldn’t stare at you like you were the reason the sun came up every morning, your scattered kisses mimicking the constellations you swore he placed in the sky. Everything on this earth reminded him of you and he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

“Yeah, you like this?” you wonder, hands coming up to trace along the straps of your lingerie with a knowing smile. He takes another minute to admire the silk fabric, eyes focused on the caged bralette hugging your boobs, ends of the ribbon covering your nipples and bouncing when you lean back to give him a better view. The matching underwear with a tiny heart cut out of the front was the cherry on top, silky material felt along his skin from your position. “I bought it just for you.”

A small groan escapes him, tongue coming out to swipe at his piercing before he’s biting down on the soft flesh. Jungkook loved you in absolutely anything you wore, but knowing you had gone out of your way to pick this out had him wondering just how many other options you had hidden away. He’d definitely be bringing that up once he wasn’t focused on the sweet sound of your voice.

“That makes me feel special.” His hands move to touch you, so accustomed to gripping your hips whenever you’re on top of him, he forgets he’s currently restrained until the bed frame rattles and a small burn is felt around his wrists. A wince reaches your ear before he’s relaxing once more, briefly looking up to remind himself that he was tied up before looking back at you with those doe eyes that always swoon you, just now understanding what a compromising position he’s in.

“Nuh uh,” you tsk, wagging a finger at him playfully. “You can’t use your hands today.”

Jungkook honestly didn’t think this through before accepting, not realizing just how much he loved to grope and hold on to you at all times. “What's your plan? Tie me up and use me until you’re satisfied? Because that sounds like one of my fantasies.”

A sly smirk curls your lips, eyes clouding with lust, and it makes his stomach flip. He knew you meant trouble whenever you had that look on your face, and the current situation leaves him a little wary—and excited—for what you have planned. 

“Should I blind fold you too then?”

His eyes narrow as he stares at you, a small frown turning down his lips, clearly displeased with the suggestion. “Alright, that's taking it too far. You know I love staring at you, baby.” 

Jungkook slowly ruts his hips up, cool belt buckle felt along your clothed core, pushing against you when he repeats the motion once more. It makes you shiver while you lean forward, resting more of your weight against him and seeing the teasing grin on his face. Tie him up all you want, he’d even let you contort him into a pretzel if that's what you were into, but blindfolding him and preventing him from seeing the pretty faces you make as you moan over his cock? That was sick torture. 

Thankfully you weren’t totally cynical, agreeing that Jungkook bound to the bed frame with his muscular arms held up was more than enough. “I’m just teasing, Guk. You look good like this though.”

Wiggling a perfectly shaped brow at you, he already feels his cock hardening underneath you, the small ruts of your hips joining his only spurring him on further until he’s aching in his jeans. “C’mon, do whatever you want to me baby.”

Jungkook holds his breath when you lift your hand up, slowly reaching across to tuck a strand of his long hair behind his ear, thumb gently tracing the tiny scar marking his skin with a smile on your face. 

“I will,” you whisper with mischief in your eyes as you shuffle off his lap, nimble fingers undoing his belt clasp with ease, enjoying the way his stomach tenses with anticipation while you unbutton his jeans and pull down the zipper. His impatience shows when he lifts his hips, eager to have you yanking the denim from his thick thighs, not satisfied until you’re tossing the material aside, landing in a heap right beside his leather jacket on the floor. 

The black briefs he has on do a good job showcasing his growing bulge, slowly tenting the fabric when you gently trace your finger along his thighs, following the bold lines of ink on his skin. Almost like a ritual, you place a soft kiss to the double-headed wolf shaded in black before your fingertips dip beneath the waistband of his underwear, tugging them down his hips smoothly. 

Jungkook audibly groans at being released, hard cock bobbing in the air slightly with small beads of precum collecting at his tip, already hard and heavy just from looking at you. The prettiest veins line the underneath of it, guiding your eyes all the way up until you reach the pink mushroom head, just waiting to find its way into your mouth. 

“Fuck, I love your cock,” you marvel, pulling his underwear down all the way and letting it join his pile of clothes on the floor. He lay completely naked now, chiseled body out in the open for you to drool over, and he’s not opposed to it. The fiery look in your eyes while you trailed your gaze over every inch of him only made him squirm, desperate for you to touch him, to show him just why you wanted to have him tied up. 

“Show me how much you love it,” he rasps, teeth sinking down on his lip when you stare up at him, slowly lowering yourself until he could feel your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes are trained to detect any of his movements, from the bob in his throat when he swallows as you wrap your hands around his cock, to the tensing of his thighs when you place a teasing kiss to his swollen tip, taking note of his reactions to your touch.

A shuddering breath escapes him at the contact, once again forgetting about his limited range of motion when he goes to touch you and the headboard shakes behind him. It makes his wrists sting as the rope rubs against his skin in the same spot from before, but he couldn’t help it. The way you’re kneeling between his legs, back arched while you lean forward with your ass jutting into the air, he just wants to reach forward and give it a good smack like he always does.  

You know Jungkook inside and out, so as much as he was trying to act like he was okay with not being in control, you can tell he’s edging closer to becoming a desperate, frustrated mess underneath you. The small whine he releases when he settles his arms back into place shows you that much, and another glance up at him allows you to see the tiny grimace painting his features now, brows pinched together while you continue to tease him. 

“Wanna hear you beg for it,” you sigh, loosely pumping him in your hand, hovering your mouth above him when you stick your tongue out and let a thick trail of spit drip onto his cock. Jungkook hisses slightly at the visual, eyes focused on the way your spit mixes with his precum as you swipe your thumb along his slit. 

“Baby,” he whines, rutting his hips up and frowning when you inch back to prevent his cock from nudging your lips. The wicked smile on your cherry coated lips sends his mind spinning, fingers clenching in his palm when you tilt your head at him innocently. 

“Beg Jungkook. Wanna hear you.”

Your hands tighten around him, making his thighs tense as his hips rut up once more. “Fuck,” he cries out, raspy and desperate. “Please baby, make me feel good. Ah, just wanna feel your mouth please—“

His rambling gets stuck in his throat when you wrap your lips around the head of his cock, gently flicking your tongue against him and having the salty taste of his precum fill your senses. Jungkook’s chest heaves when you hum around him, red lips circling his length as you slowly sink down, the warm wetness of your mouth making his blood simmer. 

The weight of his cock on your tongue has you mewling, eyes fluttering shut when you take him an inch further, gently hollowing your cheeks to suck in time with your hand. Jungkook can’t form a coherent thought now, focusing on the messy way you suck his cock, leaving it nice and shiny each time you pull back. Strings of spit drip down his length and gather around your palm, the wet thump of your hand coming down mixing in with the obscene slurps of your mouth.

“I like you like this,” you breathe as you pop off his dick, hands gliding across his length with the help of your saliva. It’s a torturous rhythm you have going, knowing exactly what to do to make Jungkook writhe around, applying just the right pressure, focusing on all the parts that you know would drive him crazy. 

“Yeah?” he manages to speak, arms flexing in their restraints when you lick a stripe up his length, swirling your tongue around his pink tip with a smile on your lips. 

“Mhm, you sound pretty when you beg.”

“Fuck,” he groans. “You’re lucky I love you baby.”

“I love you too,” you hum, the familiar warmth filling your chest at his confession just as strongly as it did when he first said it. Although he’s being playful you know how deep his words go, you can tell by the look in his eye, and if that wasn’t enough then the mere fact that he was allowing you to tie him up said it all. 

“How much more do I have to beg to get you to sink onto my cock?” The muscles in his neck tense when he throws his head back, gasping as you take him back into your mouth, sliding further down than before. His stomach hiccups once his cock nudges the back of your throat, muscle tightening around his length when you gag slightly at the feeling. Jungkook’s lungs forget how to function at the sight, your red lips pulled taut around his girth as you slurp back up only to repeat the motion again and again until he’s tensing underneath you, stomach caving in each time he hits the back of your throat. 

The breathy whine that spills past his lips has your underwear dampening with arousal, thighs rubbing together when you lift off of him once more, feeling the lust growing inside of you with each moan he releases. Very rarely did you ever get to see Jungkook like this, pleading for you to make him feel good, nights like that typically reserved for the days where he was exhausted from the club, easily becoming a needy mess in search of a stress reliever. But this version of him was new, and you wanted to savor it a little longer.

“Beg a little more for me, yeah?” Your eyes sparkle while you speak, sitting back up between his legs. His cock is left alone when you bring your fingers to the sides of your underwear, gently tugging at the knotted silk on each side to undo the garment, allowing you to slip them off while keeping the golden garter chain attached. 

Once Jungkook gets the view of your glistening folds, he doesn’t need you to ask twice. Instantly, he’s pleading to feel the warmth of your pussy around him, begging to see the look on your face once you sunk onto him, needing to hear the wet sound of his cock slipping into you. “P-please, wanna see my pretty baby use me. Wanna—fuck—wanna feel you cum around me.”

The soft skin of your thighs rub against his when you reposition yourself, straddling his lap with your pussy hovering a few inches above his length, and Jungkook can’t look away once you slowly lower yourself onto him. His lips press together at the sensation, the wetness coating your folds helping you grind against his cock, lower lips parting around it as you rock forward. It’s a teasing motion that tortures the both of you, the head of his cock just barely nudging against your clit each time, but it’s enough to have him groaning.

“Baby,” he whines again, jaw dropping open, brows furrowed together as his eyes move from the spot between your thighs, looking directly at you and seeing the sinfully evil smile you have on. The weight of you on him, keeping his cock pressed against his stomach while you grind against him, has a pool of precum gathering below his belly button, leaving a sticky mess on his warm skin.

“You wanna feel me?” you tease, letting your hands rest on his chest, tracing the skulls marking his skin and gasping when he ruts up in time with you. Your nails lightly dig into him when his cock rubs against your swollen clit with precision, biting down on your lip to prevent a moan from escaping.

“Please, let me feel you,” he whispers breathlessly, mind hazy with lust, skin tingling with each roll of your hips. You let his pleading go unanswered for a minute, enjoying the way his abs clench in time with your hips, smiling when his arms yank at the restraints in his dazed state, small moans leaving his swollen lips while he stares at you.

“Because you asked so nicely,” you smirk, bending forward to place a tender kiss to the edge of his lips, pulling back for a second as he chases your mouth before appeasing him and allowing your lips to meet in a heated kiss. Jungkook gasps into your mouth when your tongue slips past the seam of his lips, tangling with his while you reach between your bodies and grab his cock.

A slight raise from your hips allows you to lead him to your entrance, bulbous head prodding the tight ring of muscles, slowly breaching through in a familiar stretch. It didn’t matter how often Jungkook felt the warmth of your walls, his reaction was the same every time, moaning unabashedly into your mouth, the glide of your walls against his cock leaving him breathless. He’s patient as you ease onto him, continuing to kiss you, swallowing each other’s moans and pants until he bottoms out once you’re fully settled on top of him.

The full feeling of Jungkook’s cock would never fail to make you weak, curving just right inside of you, nudging the perfect spots like it was meant to be there. Your palms on his chest let you feel each rise and fall of his lungs, skin slightly sweaty to the touch, heart racing even faster than before. The wet smack of your lips separating fills the brief silence, faces inches from each other and the half lidded gaze Jungkook gives you makes your stomach fill with butterflies.

“You always feel so good,” you keen, lifting up slightly before sinking back down, becoming more fluid as you get used to his size. His body trembles slightly underneath you, rugged pants felt against your face when he groans at the feeling of your velvety walls wrapping around him beautifully. 

“Don’t tease me,” he sighs, arms flexing and mind going foggy from the slow pace. The pretty pout on his lips when he whines makes it all worth it though, lets you relish in the small sense of control he’s given you. 

You give in to him though, knowing just how bad he wanted this, allowing you to do what you pleased to him, and the least you could do was give him what he wanted too. With a soft smile, you’re bending forward and placing a kiss to the golden chain, not feeling the way his heart skips a beat as he stares at you, the warm light of the room casting you in an angelic glow that only made him fall for you further. 

“Sorry,” you giggle, grabbing his chin before you kiss him, sweet and tender as if you didn’t have him bound to the bed frame. Jungkook can’t even make light of it all, a choked moan of your name reaching your ears when you pick up the pace of your hips, skin slapping together each time you come back down. 

His hooded gaze meets yours, locked onto your every move: the bounce of your breasts while you ride him, still caged behind that bralette he couldn’t rip off with his hands, thighs tensing with the rise and fall of your hips, pussy sucking him in each time, arousal dripping down his length and staining the sheets below you.

“Fuck baby, just like that.” The husky drawl to his voice ignites a small fire within you, hot desire building inside you. The euphoric feeling spreads to every limb on your body, the thickness of his cock spreading you apart deliciously, taking over your rational thinking the way it always did, leaving you drunk off his cock as you succumb to the feeling of it all. 

He smirks lightly when you quiver above him, core tightening each time the head of his cock nudges deep inside you, rubbing along the sweet bundle of nerves he knew all too well. Your hips continue to lead you back to that same spot, cursing each time the jolt of pleasure courses through you. A trembling moan blends in with the sounds around you, walls tightening around his cock when you lift up, resting more weight on his chest when you lean forward for leverage. The angled position has your clit brushing against his pelvis, delicious friction that makes your orgasm creep up on you. 

“Fuck Guk,” you whimper above him with your eyes fluttering closed, missing the awed look he gives you, how his eyes trace the arch of your brows when you pull them together, following the curve of your mouth pushed into a pout with lips coated in a sheen of your saliva—something he desperately wants to feel against his own lips. Jungkook doesn’t fail to see how the table has turned, how easily you’ve become the whiny mess you were so determined to have him be. He loves it like this though, loves to see you shuddering with ecstasy, all because of him. 

“You gonna cum?” he wonders, voice thick and dripping with want. No longer passive, his thighs tense as he starts to fuck up into you, chuckling when you lean fully over him, allowing him to do more of the work once you start to lose momentum. A strained moan is your only response, cheek pressing into his chest as he pistons his hips into you, the lewd sound of your skin slapping together louder than before. Jungkook smiles down at you, seeing the way your body rocks in time with his thrusts, mouth dropping open while you drool over his cock. 

“C-close,” you cry, nails digging into his skin, half moon indents blending in with his chest piece while you try to find your bearings. With a bit of struggle, you lift your head once more, eyes glazed over with lust and you frown at him. “This was s-supposed to be about you.”

His hips speed up now, fingers itching to reach forward and cup your jaw, wanting to bring you closer to kiss the frown from your face. “This is about me. Love seeing you like this.” Jungkook groans as you get impossibly tighter around him. “Cum for me baby, please.”

His begging is what pushes you over the edge, wet gasp sticking to your throat once your climax washes over, incoherent mumbles of his name sounding like music to his ears. Your body trembles above him as your juices soak his cock, slurred curses spoken into the air while another gush of wetness escapes you, leaving his thighs wet with remnants of your orgasm. 

“My pretty baby,” he coos, continuing to rut into you as you whimper, sensitive walls pulsing around him, sending light sparks of overstimulation through you. “Let my arms go angel, wanna make you feel special too.”

Still drunk off your high and vision spotty, you weakly nod, fingers slowly undoing the knot you made until his hands are finally free.

In a flash, he’s pushing you back onto the bed, messy cock slipping out of you in the process. Once his large hands are gripping your skin, everything feels right with the world, soft flesh between his fingers when he grabs your ass as he flips you over, exactly where they belonged. 

Jungkook takes his time, allowing his palms to roam your skin, acting as if he hadn’t been in this exact position last night. He traces over the golden chains along your thighs, admiring them like you had admired the chain on his chest, following them to your waist, up your back until he’s unclasping your bra and finally discarding it to the side. 

The sudden movement has you dazed, not even realizing when he had pushed you onto your knees with your hands holding you steady. The soft material of the sheets is felt beneath you, fingers gripping them while you whimper in anticipation.  

“You had your fun baby,” he sighs, fisting his cock and leading it back towards your drenched entrance. “Let me have mine.”

“Jungkook,” you mewl, arching your back further for him. His palm soothes your skin once he gently sinks back into you with a wet squelch, both hands now gripping your hips when he starts the quick pace you were both accustomed to. Your thighs spread further apart for him, keening when he sinks deeper into you, fisting the sheets as he filled you up. 

Jungkook is focused on the view of his cock stretching you open, how you’re creaming it each time he pulls back out, more of your arousal coating your thighs in a sinful mess. “Love this view,” he groans, one of his hands rearing back to deliver a rough smack against your ass, smirking when the flesh jiggles from the force. The sting spreads to your core, makes you squeal in surprise as your skin smarts and tingles, warmth intensifying when he swiftly delivers two more smacks to the same spot. “Love you.”

The sweet confession makes your walls tighten, a small cry released into his sheets as you rut back into him, meeting his thrusts in time with your own in a messy rhythm. “Love you too, so much—fuck.”

“Do you?” he jests, leaning over your body until his golden chain dangles against your shoulder, free hand clasping over yours and digging into the mattress. “Is that why you wanted to tie me up?”

A playful laugh escapes you, turning into a filthy gasp when he speeds up his thrusts, thighs smacking against yours, bed creaking under the movement. “Yes,” is all you can choke out, shivering at the ticklish feeling of his chain rocking along your skin. 

“You gonna let me tie you up next time and do whatever I want to you?”

“God, yes. Whatever you want Jungkook.” He huffs out a laugh, knowing you mean it, knowing you would indulge every one of his desires with no questions asked. You were his match made in heaven, aligning perfectly with every one of his wants and needs, and he’d forever wonder how he got lucky enough to have you enter his life. 

His right hand reaches for your face, cupping your jaw and turning you to face him, lips meeting yours in a frenzy. His fingers dig into your cheek, tongue slipping into your mouth with a shared moan, hips never losing their momentum. It leaves you in a haze, sighing into the kiss when his tongue tickles the roof of your mouth. 

“Wanna fill you up,” he whispers between smacks of your lips, letting his tongue trail against the seam of your lips before kissing you again. “Leave you nice and messy.”

“Please,” you pant, jaw slack when he angles his hips, cock hitting your gspot with precision, your sensitive walls spasming around him. “H-harder.”

“Whatever you want baby,” he murmurs, giving you another kiss before straightening up, both hands tightly gripping your hips while he gives you the rough pace you asked for. Your upper body gives out on you, face burying into the sheets as your senses overflow with him, body jostling forward with each snap of his hips, nipples grazing the sheet beneath you and making you mewl.

The sweet moans of your name he lets out, fingers burning your skin as he holds on to you, cock filling you up perfectly, it's all you can think about. And when he sneaks a hand around your body, fingers meeting your sensitive clit, you nearly shriek at the stimulation. 

Jungkook feels his own climax creeping up his spine, giving your ass another slap and groaning when you tighten around him. Your thighs tremble against his, hands yanking the sheets while you melt into his touch, moans getting breathier with each flick of his fingers. The pressure builds in your core, whole body tensing up when your second orgasm of the night makes itself known. 

“Guk.” It’s a guttural moan, needy and drawn-out, your hand mindlessly reaching behind you in search for his. He grabs it instantly, lacing your fingers together and anchoring you to him as your mind starts to float, continuing to circle along your clit with his hips never slowing down their intoxicating pace. 

With a final flick against your bundle of nerves, you’re pushed over the edge once more, falling head first into your orgasm so fast it shocks you. Your eyes slip shut, flashes of light displayed against your lids, goosebumps flaring across your skin while the white-hot pleasure consumes you. 

Jungkook curses at your walls sucking him in, attempting to milk his orgasm out of him as he continued to fuck you through it. Your hand grips his tightly, soft mewls filling the air while your body twitches and shudders, breath hiccuping as you come down, knees barely able to hold yourself up. His strong hold keeps you steady, golden chains around your messy thighs swinging from the force of his thrusts. 

“Shit baby,” he grunts, thrusting into you in quick bursts, desperate to feel his release. Your thumb gently rubs along his palm, quiet pleas begging him to fill you up, wanting to feel his cum drip out of you the way you loved. Jungkook’s hips lose their rhythm, fucking you with urgency, jaw clenched tightly when the familiar feeling overtakes him. With a few shallow thrusts and another quiet proclamation of love, he’s pushing deeper into you as he cums, warm bursts of white painting your walls, filling you up until it drips out of you around his length. 

The harsh breaths of both of you fill the now silent room, the thrumming of your heart felt in your ears as everything settles around you. Your limbs feel sore already, ass aching from where he delivered the harsh slaps, but the dopey smile on your face shows no complaints. 

You’re the first to move, gently prying your hands apart and allowing him to slide out of you. The slight gush of his cum escaping only makes you squirm, more so when his fingers stuff it back into you with a chuckle. He can’t look away though, focused on the thick globs of cum coating your folds, disappearing once more as he fills you up again. When you whine in protest he slips his fingers back out, smiling sweetly before he peppers kisses onto your back.

“I’m just trying to prevent the sheets from staining.” 

“Yeah right,” you snort, flipping over onto your back and smiling up at him. These sheets were as good as ruined, they typically were whenever you two decided to roll around and make a mess. “You’re trying to knock me up aren’t you?”

He only rolls his eyes while he crawls over you, long hair framing his face while he gives you his boyish smile. “Maybe,” he shrugs, placing a tender kiss to your lips before kissing the tip of your nose. 

When he pulls back, you let your hands cup his face, taking a good moment to admire your boyfriend, tracing every one of his features that you had memorize, your favorite being the slope of his nose leading to the curve of his lips, second favorite being the tiny mole below his mouth that you loved to kiss. Jungkook always let you take as long as you wanted, staring down at you with glimmering eyes and a sweet smile, taking his own moment to admire you as well. 

“Did you even notice the gift I brought you?” he questions lightly, eyes looking over to the teddy bear and bouquet of flowers. Your head cranes back to see what he was talking about, letting out a delighted gasp when you spot it. He snickers when you twist around on the bed, scrambling over to grab the cute gift in your hands, sniffing the flowers once you do. 

“I love them,” you beam, fondly staring down at the plush toy with the sewn on heart, both your initials embroidered onto it. “Sorry I ambushed you earlier.”

Jungkook grabs a pair of his sweats from his drawers, slipping them on before handing you one of his shirts once he stands beside you. He didn’t mind his own plans for the night being slightly derailed if it lead to this. “Ambush me all you want,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Just remember, you told me I could do whatever I want next time.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” His playful laugh fills the air when your elbow digs into his side, making him squirm, arms refusing to let go of you despite your attack. He only loosens his grip when you turn around, hands falling around your waist as your own hands settle around his shoulders. 

“Happy Valentine’s day. I love you.” His smile is wide as he looks down at you, cheeks pushing out in a way that keeps his innocence and makes you want to pinch them until they’re pink and he’s giggling for you to stop.

“I love you more,” you breathe out with a matching smile, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. He sighs into it, letting himself melt into the slow motion, hands bringing you closer to him as he deepens it. But before it could go any further, a yap and a few scratches to the door pull you apart. 

“You sure you want kids?” you joke when he walks over to open the door, the two dogs rushing into the room for attention, stretching out their legs onto you as their tails wag. 

Jungkook settles onto the floor, allowing the youngest dog to climb onto his lap, standing up to lick at his jaw. “If it's with you, I want twelve.”

You can’t hold back the loud laugh you let out and he joins in, turning to stare at you when you playfully nudge his shoulder with your foot. “Keep dreaming Six. You know you’re not ready to give up your bike just yet.”

He knew this, perfectly content with the two dogs you currently had, only enjoying teasing you with the ridiculous number of kids and dogs he suggested. But Jungkook also knew that when the time was right, things would fall into place. And as he stares at the room, seeing an abundance of photographs of the two of you, newer photos showing the puppies you had adopted, there's only one thing he’s certain about: as long as he's with you, nothing else matters.

[bangtanloverboys]

the first cringe of morning // myg

summary - there were many things one would be nervous about when their new partner spends the night for the first time: was the room clean? is everything in order? did you shave? but you weren’t really nervous about those things, you were nervous as to how he would preceive your scars

pairing - boyfriend!yoongi x trans male!reader

genre - fluff, slight nsfw; newly established relationship au

word count - 1.7k

warnings - mentions of top surgery, reader is slightly insecure of his scars, anxiety, bisexual yoongi, bed sharing, cuddling, non-sexual body worship, kissing, very light non-sexual dom/sub undertones, kinda soft dom!min yoongi, min yoongi being an absolute sweetheart

author’s note - hhhhhh dream scenario honestly. . .happy pride month

Taking a deep breath, you pulled your shirt up, exposing your chest. You stared at your torso in the mirror, your eyes zeroing in on the two thin scars that decorated your chest. You’d gotten top surgery barely a year ago, the scars nearly faded away. You were happy with the results, you’ve never felt happier or more comfortable in your entire life even. You would never go back on the decision you made to get top surgery.

However, it didn’t stop you from being nervous. Why were you nervous? Your new boyfriend, Yoongi, was going to spend the night for the first time ever. You’ve been dating for a few months now and you honestly couldn’t have been happier. You told him you were a trans man a few weeks after you felt like you were possibly getting more serious; he nodded, thanking you for trusting him with the information. While you knew he would do nothing of the sort, your brain couldn’t help but think of terrible outcomes if/when he was to see your chest. 

What if he thought you looked deformed? What if he pointed out your nipples and how they looked weird? What if after what if after what if, plagued your mind. It was stupid and you knew that, but your anxiety continued to eat away at you.

The night so far had been pretty good; he arrived with a couple grocery bags of goodies, as you did ask him to pick up some things on his way over. The two of you had a nice dinner, watched a couple movies, and you were both getting ready to settle down for bed. It was established earlier that you weren’t planning on having sex at all that night, neither of you feeling quite ready for that yet. But you slept shirtless, meaning you had the options of either A. getting it over with and showing him or B. sleep with a shirt on and possibly overboil. Anxiety on the rise, you went with the latter option. 

A knock on the bathroom door startled you, causing you to drop your shirt. 

“I gotta brush my teeth. You decent?” Yoongi asked from the otherside of the door. 

With a light chuckle, you unlocked the door, pulling it open for him. “Come in.”

Walking in, his toothbrush in hand, he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you. Can I use your toothpaste?”

“Yeah, it’s in the little basket by the sink.” You gestured to the counter behind you. “I’m gonna get the bed ready.”

“Hey,” he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from going any further. “You sure you don’t want me sleeping on the couch? Because I’m more than fine with that.”

“No, it’s okay.” You responded, hoping your voice sounded reassuring. Yoongi stared at you for a moment, possibly sensing your nervousness. He didn’t say anything, only nodding; trusting your words. After releasing your wrist, you made your way to your bedroom.

You had cleaned up everything earlier that day, looking nothing like the mess it was the past couple days. But you were satisfied with it, as long as there was no mess on the floor or dirty dishes anywhere, it was fine. With a sigh, you began taking off the decorative pillows you had on display on your full sized bed, neatly stacking them in a pile. As you continued to get the bed ready, your mind wandered, thinking about how you were going to sleep. Did Yoogni have any sleeping habits? Would he cuddle you while you slept? Would he mind the heat you tend to give off when you sleep? So many different random anxieties started to build up over the ones already there. 

“Are we not going to sleep with any pillows or something?” Yoongi’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. Immediately you realized you went a bit too far and even pulled off the actual pillows from the bed, stacking them alongside the decorative ones.

“Shit- I’m sorry, I got a bit carried away.” You gushed as you put the pillows back on the bed. 

“No worries.” You got a good look at him as he walked across the room, towards the bed. He was wearing a loose fitted T-shirt, a pair of grey sweatpants that were hanging low on his hips, and his hair was a mess from being tucked away in a beanie all day. “Do you sleep on any specific side of the bed or free range?”

“I sleep on the right side.” You said, pointing to the side you were closest to. 

“Alright,” he nodded as he made his way over to the left side of the bed. Pulling back the covers, he climbed into bed. You moved to follow him, but he stopped you. “You’re gonna sleep in your jeans?” 

You felt your cheeks grow hot in embarrassment. “Right uh. Hang on.” You muttered as you turned around. As you shuck your jeans off, you can feel Yoongi’s eyes on you, causing the heat in your cheeks to spread to the tips of your ears. Standing in only your boxers and a T-shirt, you deemed yourself ready for bed. When you turned around to face him, you spotted a smirk playing on his lips. Avoiding eye contact, you clambered into bed, shutting off your lamp in the process, leaving you both in the dark room. 

The mattress beneath you shifted as Yoongi adjusted himself to lay down and get comfortable. “C’mere.” He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. You freeze in his hold for a moment, thinking he’s going to possibly make a move, but instead you feel him nuzzle his face into your hair. You smiled as you felt his breathing tickle the skin of your neck. Relaxing into his touch, you allowed yourself to fall asleep in his arms. 

When you woke up to the sunlight bleeding through your blinds, you were genuinely surprised to have slept through the whole night. Usually you’d wake up randomly, but Yoongi was a good luck sleeping charm that now you had, you probably won’t ever let go. You shut your eyes again, wanting a bit more sleep before either of you have to get up.

Just as your mind was about to fall back into sleep, you felt the light touch of Yoongi’s lips drag across the skin of your neck. He peppered soft kisses over the exposed skin, gently tickling you. You giggled at the sensation, but didn’t pull away. In fact, you snuggled closer into him. As he sleepily kissed you, you felt the hand that was still wrapped tightly around your waist ever so slowly slip underneath your shirt. The skin to skin contact had you stiffen. Feeling your discomfort, Yoongi moved to whisper in your ear. 

“Are you okay with this?”

“I-” You struggled to get the words out. “My scars. I- I don’t-”

“Hey shh,” he murmured, kissing the shell of your ear before he readjusted himself on the bed, now hovering over you. “You can tell me, what about your scars?”

“I-I’ve. . . never really had a partner see my scars in a more. . . intimate setting. . .” You all but shrunk under his gaze, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“No, Y/N, look at me.” His hand went to your cheek, gently forcing you to look up at him. Meeting his dark eyes, you feel nothing but adoration pouring out from them, overwhelming you. “I care about all of you, scars and all. You are the most handsome creature I’ve had the privilege of knowing.” You felt tears prick at your eyes, threatening to spill. Your hand went up to cup his cheek, bringing him down to meet your lips. The kiss was nothing too special, it was slow and gentle, yet it didn’t stop your heart from racing. Yoongi’s other hand was sneaking back underneath your shirt as he pulled away. “Is it okay if I show you?”

With a gulp, you nodded.

“Use your words, baby.” 

“Yes.” You rasped out.

Once given the green light, he pressed a kiss to your lips, then your cheek, then your neck. He kissed down your clothed torso until he was over your hips, his hands slowly curling up the bottom of your shirt. His eyes never left yours as he exposed more and more skin, stopping just below your scars. Lowing his head to your stomach, he kissed you right below your belly button. Your eyes fluttered shut as he pecked all over your stomach; on occasion he’d catch you by surprise by blowing a raspberry, eliciting a laugh from you. 

He reached the edge of your shirt again, placing his hands on the fabric before moving it anymore. “Do you wanna take this off?”

“Yeah.”

It was a bit of a struggle but with Yoongi’s help, you got the T-shirt off. His eyes not once leaving you as he tossed the shirt to some corner of the room. The silence was thick as you watched him stare at you, saying nothing. Embarrassment burned in your cheeks as you moved to cover yourself, but his hands grabbed at your wrists, pinning them to your side.

“You’re absolutely stunning, Y/N.” He praised as he lowered himself to be over your ribcage. “Please don’t doubt that, I see nothing but the most beautiful man in front of me.” Yoongi muttered as he littered kisses along your scars, the sensation light from what little feeling you have left. His words left butterflies erupting in your stomach and your head reeling, trying to accept the compliments he gave you. You don’t think anyone has ever said that to you, hell, you don’t even think you’ve said that about yourself. But to have Yoongi tell you had you drunk. 

He’d nip at your skin, testing where you could feel, and when he felt you shutter against him, your boyfriend made sure to pay extra attention there. All while mumbling praises into your skin, assuring you that he thought nothing less of the world of you.

By the time his head came back up above yours, his lips were kiss swollen and you were breathless. Smiling down at you, he leaned down, kissing you one last time before pulling away. He laid his head down on your chest, snaking his arms around you to hold you tight. Your arms went to wrap around his shoulders, messing with his hair at the nape of his neck. There the two of you laid for the next few hours, as the sun rose higher in the sky, simply enjoying each other’s company.

[eliemo]

Purple Skirt

Summary: Patton and Logan look amazing in their skirts, but Virgil knows he doesn’t get the same freedom when it comes to clothing. 

TWs: past abuse, past gaslighting, self esteem issues

Notes: Thank you to @self-taught-mess​ for giving me the idea to make the skirts angsty. Sympathetic everyone. Taglist at the end

Masterpost

The first time he’d been able to even look at a skirt without wanting to throw up was when Patton had come bouncing down the stairs, looking absolutely delighted in his new suspenders skirt, and Virgil had smiled along with him without even thinking about the memories. 

He was so happy and radiant and god Virgil wished he could do the same. The idea of wearing a skirt around the mindscape, never giving it a second thought, allowing himself to be comfortable and confident like Patton could be was...amazing. 

Logan had donned a skirt a couple weeks later, wearing it as casually as any other outfit, and he’d barely batted an eye when they had all jumped up to compliment him. 

They were all so...comfortable with it. And of course they were, they were allowed to be. They deserved to be. Everyone was, except Virgil. He knew that. 

Which is why he had no idea what had possessed him to start wearing a skirt in the privacy of his own room. 

It was a horrible idea, and his hands started shaking every time he shut his door and put on the dark purple skirt, but...but he liked it. He liked wearing skirts, and the light side’s outfits had reminded him of that. 

He’d tried to wear skirts a few years ago, but the Others had very quickly shut that down, drilling into his brain how selfish and horrible it was to even consider outfits like that an option. 

Anyone else could wear a skirt. Anyone else could wear whatever they wanted. But Virgil didn’t have that right. Virgil was disgusting and useless, and he didn’t deserve that comfort. 

Besides, they looked horrible on him. He didn’t need to look any more pathetic than he already was. He’d been mocked and beaten and screamed at for forcing other people to see him like that, for thinking for a second that it had been remotely acceptable. They’d made themselves very clear, and they hadn’t stopped until Virgil had understood. Anxiety didn’t get to wear skirts. 

Now...now he knew he wouldn’t be beaten if he was caught in a skirt. He knew by now not to assume his family would hurt him, especially not over something so small. 

But he’d still be told off. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be wearing something like this, knew it was disgusting of him to even try. Patton and Logan looked amazing but Virgil was...well, Virgil. 

Still, after seeing Logan and Patton’s skirts he hadn’t been able to help himself. He was careful about it, only changing once a week at most with his door locked, always when he was sure he’d have time to himself where no one would come looking. 

The first few times, he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, taunts, hate, and repulsion echoing in his head every second the skirt was on. He hadn’t been able to keep it on for more than five minutes. 

But recently, he’d started to feel a bit more comfortable. He knew it wasn’t ok, knew better than to risk letting anyone see him, but...with no one around to tell him how disgusting he looked, he allowed himself a few glances in the mirror, and let himself keep it on for longer. 

It was comforting, freeing, and...maybe if it was anyone else, it might actually look good. 

He should have known better than to drop his guard like that.

Virgil had put his skirt on about half an hour ago, closing himself off in his room until dinner, his usual ripped jeans laid out for him to quickly slip on before heading back downstairs. 

He’d gotten too comfortable- too relaxed, lounging on his bed with his music playing and his eyes slipped shut and his head went foggy, losing track of time completely.  

“You in there, Hot Topic?” Roman’s call and gentle knocking didn’t startle Virgil like it usually would, and he groggily lifted his head from the pillow, slipping off his headphones. “Can I come in?” 

Virgil rubbed sleep from his eyes, pushed himself up on the bed, and waved a hand to unlock his door without a second thought. 

He then immediately realized his mistake as soon as the handle started to turn. Shit shit shit--

He scrambled off the bed, suddenly wide awake as his feet hit the carpeted floor, but he didn’t have a chance to get anywhere to hide before Roman was standing in the doorway, eyes going wide. 

For a split second, Virgil let himself be overtaken by dangerous, desperate hope. The light sides had pleasantly surprised him so many times already- it was ok for him to make mistakes, it was fine if he dropped something or made a loud noise or talked too much- so maybe...maybe this was ok too? 

But then Roman opened his mouth, and old instinct and far too familiar fear took over. 

“Sorry,” Virgil blurted as he shrank back, wrapping his arms around himself. “I didn’t...s-sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to--”

“Wait, what?” Roman stepped closer, and Virgil internally cursed himself for flinching. This wasn’t like last time, this wasn’t like last time. “Virgil. Why’re you sorry?” 

He shrugged, suddenly hyper aware of the way the plaid skirt hugged his waist, draping just above the knee to show off the black and white striped stockings. He found himself absently tugging at the end of the material. 

“I...I’m not--” he cut himself off when his voice grew unsteady, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I’m not supposed to, but I- I wasn’t going to leave the room. I know I- that I can’t--” 

“Oh, Virgil of course you can.” Roman’s voice was soft, always so genuine, and this time Virgil didn’t flinch back when the Prince took another step. “You look amazing.”

Virgil’s shoulders hunched on instinct, and he scrambled to figure out if that was sarcasm in the Prince’s tone, because he’d been expecting something far more hurtful. 

“I...you don’t have to, I was just- it was stupid. I- I forgot I was wearing it, I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Roman said, but his smile suddenly dropped. “Oh, Stormcloud you’re shaking.” 

Oh. Virgil hadn’t even realized how bad he’d started trembling, too scared to meet Roman’s eyes despite them radiating nothing but kindness. 

“Hey.” The Prince held out his hands, and Virgil risked a cautious glance up from the floor. “Come here?” 

Virgil let his shoulders drop, but his defenses were still raised, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always expecting some kind of trap or trick. He still couldn’t help it. 

But he let himself close the distance between them and fall into Roman’s chest, letting out a shuddering breath as strong arms wrapped around him, gentle but secure. 

“You can wear a skirt, Virgil,” Roman said. “Did you...think I would be angry with you?” 

Virgil couldn’t bring himself to speak again just yet. All he was able to manage was a small nod against Roman’s chest. 

“Why?” he asked, voice still soft but Virgil thought there was a hint of something defensive. “I wear skirts all the time. So does Remus. And Patton and Logan have--” 

“I know.” Virgil took another small, trembling breath. “And you- you all look great. Obviously. Everyone can- everyone can wear whatever, I’m not...I just...can’t.” 

Roman pulled back slightly, but Virgil couldn’t meet his gaze. “Why not?” 

“Because I’m...I’m gross, and I shouldn’t...I can’t. Not like you guys, it’s not...it’s not allowed. It’s...probably bad for my influence over Thomas or something.. Plus I, uh- I look horrible in most things anyway, so…”

He trailed off, and his heart sank when he caught a glimpse of the look on Roman’s face. He was watching Virgil intently, head tilted slightly, eyes filled with something sad and...and angry. 

“I’m- I’m sorry.” Shit, he’d been talking too long hadn’t he? He was being annoying and he was still making Roman see him like this and he probably just wanted Virgil to shut up already. “I didn’t mean to ramble, I’m sorry, I’ll change and then--” 

“I’m not upset with you,” Roman said, and Virgil quickly fell silent. “This is...just one more thing they took away from you, isn’t it?” 

Virgil shrugged, back to wrapping his arms around himself like a useless shield. He felt tears spring to the corners of his eyes, face burning hot, and he quickly blinked them away. 

“I guess,” he muttered. “They didn’t really want me to...like myself. It’s still...hard, you know? To get their voices out of my head.” 

He tried not to think about it. He tried to block out the vicious, horrible things that had been said to him every time they’d raised a fist, their words just as powerful as a punch. 

They’d hurt him so bad, and they’d worked so hard to make him hate himself as much as they hated him. 

He wasn’t going to roll over and accept that. Not anymore. He’d get better now that he had people who loved him by his side. It just...god, it was so hard sometimes.  

“I know,” Roman said, and Virgil didn’t think he’d ever heard the Prince sound so grim. “Trust me, Virgil. I know.” 

Virgil didn’t doubt that. He dug his foot into the carpet, doing what he could to remind himself that Roman wasn't upset. The prince wasn’t disgusted by him, he didn’t think he was pathetic, and he wasn’t angry that Virgil was making him look at Anxiety longer than necessary. 

“Yeah, well. Self esteem is overrated.” 

Roman laughed, but he was still staring at Virgil with something sorrowful and uncertain. “Maybe. But if it helps, I think you look absolutely stunning.” 

“What?” Virgil scoffed, even as he was sure his face was bright red by now. “N-no, I...I don’t. Look, I can just change--” 

“Virgil, have you even looked in the mirror?” Roman asked, and Virgil tried not to flinch because those words had been said to him before, just under very different circumstances. 

But Roman was suddenly taking his hands, dragging him (gently, of course) into Virgil’s bathroom, standing in front of the sink and looking in the mirror. It was something he tried to avoid as much as possible, but with the way Princey was beaming at him...for the moment he couldn’t find it in himself to be so apprehensive. 

“How long have you had this?” Roman asked, and at Virgil’s blank stare he quickly gestured to the outfit- an older black hoodie over a white shirt, black and white stockings, and the plaid purple skirt. 

“Uh...I don’t know, it’s just some clothes. The skirt is kinda new, though. I had to make a new one after my old one was…” destroyed, was really the only accurate way to put it. And they hadn’t even waited for him to take it off. Somehow he really doubted that would make Roman feel any better. “Lost. It’s...it’s pretty stupid, I know.” 

“Not at all,” Princey said, and Virgil didn’t know why he couldn’t just give in and believe him. “Just look! You’re beautiful!” 

He seemed so excited, eyes brimming with awe and eagerness, Virgil couldn’t bring himself to protest. Even when he was struck with the familiar urge to avert his gaze as soon as he came face to face with his own reflection. 

It was just...him. Nothing special, nothing particularly good, just plain, dark and brooding Anxiety. But he’d been taught, over and over and over again, to hate every little thing about himself. Just like everyone else already did. 

But that had been a lie, just like nearly everything else he’d been told. The people who mattered didn’t hate him, and they did much more than tolerate his presence. 

He just...didn’t know where to start when it came to liking anything about himself. 

Luckily, Roman already seemed to be two steps ahead of him. 

“You are not disgusting,” he said, completely catching Virgil off guard. “And I swear, if I could I would run my sword through every single person who ever put that thought in your head.” 

“Please don’t.” It came out a whisper, soft and pathetic. They’d had this talk before, countless times, but each time it sent terror shooting through his chest. “Please--” 

“I know. As much as I want to make them suffer...I would never betray your trust by doing something so selfish. It will always be up to you whether or not I go after them.” 

Virgil’s shoulders dropped, relief just as dizzying as the last few times. “Thank you.” 

“But I mean it,” Roman said. “They were so, so wrong. We think you’re wonderful, Virgil. We...we all think you’re amazing. I know you don’t see it, but- but we do. And every day you shine just a little bit brighter.” 

“Princey--” 

“Did you know Patton couldn’t stop crying that first night we found out about what happened to you? He kept it together right until you fell asleep and then he...Logan held him until he exhausted himself. And Lo was...we were all so angry.” 

Virgil couldn’t turn around, instead staring at Roman’s reflection through the mirror. “I...I’m--” 

“This isn’t a guilt thing,” Roman clarified. “I’m saying we didn’t understand. We still don’t. How someone could look at you and not see someone incredible. You’ve been through so much and we’re...I’m honored to get to meet the person you always deserved to be.” 

And, yeah Virgil was definitely going to cry now, fresh tears just replacing the ones he wiped away. But maybe that was ok, because Roman’s eyes were red and watery now too. 

“Back to the point,” Roman said with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can wear what you want. Always. My only request is that you don’t outshine me.” 

Virgil snorted, even as uncertainty and apprehension still rested heavy on his chest. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Princey.” 

“Well, I stand by what I said,” Roman announced, clapping his hands together. “You look stunning. And I’m sure the others will agree. Patton will be thrilled to have another skirt-buddy. Why don’t we head down so you can--” 

“No!” 

Roman had already started for the bathroom door, stopping in his tracks and spinning back around at Virgil’s outburst. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but…

But the terror that had hit when Roman had caught him just moments before, the disgust with himself that had just been starting to dissipate a bit...all of it hit full force again at the thought of going downstairs like this. 

He wanted to. He wanted to know he could be comfortable and learn to feel ok again so bad. But he couldn’t. There was no way. 

“Virge--” 

“I can’t.” And now he was going to upset Roman, after the Prince had tried so hard to get Virgil to stop being such a coward. And now he probably was going to be angry- or disappointed at the very least. Virgil wasn’t sure which one was worse. “I’m sorry, sorry it’s just--” 

“Hey, it’s ok,” Roman said, with way more patience than Virgil deserved at this point. “I’m not going to force you out of your comfort zone, Emo. Prince’s honor. We go at your pace, and your pace only.” 

 Virgil stuffed his hands into the hoodie pockets, fighting the urge to pull up his hood. “You’re not, like...mad?” 

“I’m not mad, Virgil,” Roman assured, and smiled. “Take your time. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.” 

“Ok.” Virgil let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, shaky and small, and once again he wondered what he’d done to deserve this much kindness. “Ok. I’m uh, I’m gonna change. I’ll be down for dinner soon.” 

There was no annoyance, no frustration or exasperated eyeroll. Just a nod from Roman and another gentle, understanding smile as the Prince slipped through the door and left him alone again. 

For a moment, standing in his silent bedroom with his black jeans in his hands, Virgil considered keeping the skirt on. 

He wasn’t...he wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t the selfish, horrible, grotesque villain he’d been taught to think he was. 

He had the right to say, do, and wear whatever he wanted. He was just as free to exist and express himself as anyone else in the mindscape. 

It was what his family told him, over and over and over again. And it was what he was trying desperately to begin to believe. 

But he was almost positive that if he tried to step outside right now he’d have a panic attack before he reached the bottom of the stairs. So he took another deep breath, steadied himself, and changed back into his regular jeans and oversized hoodie. 

He wasn’t going to suddenly lose the right to recover if he took his time. There wasn’t a time limit to all of this. And like Roman had said, they’d be there when he was ready.

-- 

It was another few weeks before Roman heard a knock on his door, timid and familiar enough for him to know it was Virgil before he pulled it open with a smile. 

The anxious side was standing in the hall, arms wrapped around his middle as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, shoulders hunched in a defensive stand and...oh. 

He was wearing the outfit Roman hadn’t gotten the chance to see since their talk in his room, complete with the plaid purple skirt that the Prince thought looked absolutely perfect on Virgil. 

“Good afternoon,” Roman said, fighting to sound as nonchalant as possible, all too aware of how big of a deal this was. “You heading downstairs?” 

Virgil took a minute before nodding slowly, chewing incessantly on his lip, still fidgeting in the doorway. 

“Alright,” Roman said, hoping it was at least a little encouraging. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 

He could see Virgil trying to compose himself, recognized the slow, deliberate breaths he was taking in an effort to fight against rising panic, and Roman’s heart throbbed at the watery, scared look in his eyes. 

“Could you…” Virgil trailed off, squeezing his hands into fists. “Could you come with me? Please?” 

Roman softened, and stepped into the hallway. “Of course.” 

It wasn’t until he held out a hand, letting Virgil latch onto him and squeeze as tight as he needed, that he realized just how bad the anxious side was shaking. Just like the first time Roman had seen him in the skirt. 

As nice as it looked, it was a fairly simple outfit. Roman had worn far more extravagant things, and other than excited compliments from Patton, no one really looked twice. 

He couldn’t imagine what the others had done to make Virgil so afraid of being seen in a skirt. 

But this wasn’t the time for that. Roman forcefully pushed his anger back down, and squeezed Virgil’s hand in response. He didn’t stop trembling the entire trip down the hall. 

When they reached the top of the stairs, Patton and Logan’s voices began to filter in from the living room, and Virgil suddenly stopped, breath catching in his throat, looking to Roman with wide, panicked eyes. 

“What...what if they--” 

“Nothing bad will happen to you,” Roman said. “I swear it. But we don’t have to do this today if you aren’t ready. Like I said, we go at your pace.” 

Virgil’s eyes were glued to the stairs, tense and unmoving, clutching Roman’s hand like he thought it would be ripped away at any moment. 

Roman was fully willing to stand here for hours if it meant Virgil would be comfortable, but it only took a few minutes for his breathing to even out slightly, some of the tension in his shoulders coming undone. 

“Ok,” he said softly, probably more to himself than to Roman. “Ok. I’m...I’m good. I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry,” Roman promised. “Your pace, Virge. I’m here.” 

They made their way down the steps together, slow and steady, Roman letting Virgil move as fast as he wanted, stopping to take a few seconds to breathe whenever he needed. 

Logan and Patton were lounged on the couch by the time they made it to the living room, the logical side lost to the contents of the open book on his lap. 

Virgil suddenly froze in the doorway, looking up at Roman like he thought the Prince was the only thing standing in between him and certain death. 

And then Patton glanced up at the movement, and Roman couldn’t remember the last time the moral side had smiled so wide. 

“Oh my gosh! Virgil, you look so good!” 

Virgil automatically flinched against Roman’s side as Patton jumped up from the couch, but Roman could see surprise battling with doubt and confusion as he took in Patton’s happiness. 

“I...yeah?” 

And in the middle of it all, a small flicker of hope. 

“Yes!” Patton practically squealed. He rushed over to take Virgil’s hands, and Roman stepped away with one last reassuring smile. “I didn’t know you liked skirts, kiddo! You should have told me!” 

Virgil was searching Patton’s face, probably making sure there wasn’t any hint of hidden disgust in his words, before relaxing ever so slightly. “Yeah, I...wanted to try it, I guess.” 

“You look so pretty!” Patton was bouncing up and down now, Virgil’s hands still in his. “Don’t you think so, Logan?” 

Roman glanced at the logical side still seated on the couch, unsurprised to find a look of pride and quiet understanding.

“He does,” Logan agreed. “The outfit itself is aesthetically pleasing, and the colors suit you very well, Virgil. I am glad you were comfortable enough to try something new.” 

Virgil shrugged, cheeks turning a light shade of red, briefly meeting Roman’s eyes with a small, thankful smile. “It’s...it’s whatever.” 

“We should have a skirt day!” Patton announced suddenly. “Can we have a skirt day?” 

Logan raised an eyebrow. “A...skirt day?” 

“We can all wear our skirts together! Do you think we could get Janus and Remus to join us?” 

Roman chuckled, beyond relieved for the small smile now beginning to overtake Virgil’s features. “I’m sure you could, padre.” 

“Patton, it is simply an article of clothing,” Logan pointed out, completely lost. “Why do we need an entire day dedicated to wearing it?” 

“Because! It’s--” 

Patton was suddenly interrupted by Virgil suddenly wrapping his arms around the moral side, pulling him close in a tight, almost desperate embrace. 

Virgil so rarely was the one to initiate physical contact, as much as he needed it, always terrified of being seen as needy or ungrateful. From what Roman had gathered, Virgil had been told he was too disgusting to be touched in any way other than violent. 

“Oh, kiddo.” Despite his obvious surprise, Patton didn’t hesitate before hugging back. “Can you tell me what’s wrong, honey? Did I upset you?” 

Virgil shook his head, still clutching Patton’s shirt as he pulled back. Roman wanted so badly to rush over and hold him close when he realized Virgil was smiling through his tears, so clearly overwhelmed but so so relieved. 

“No- no, it’s-” he took in a shuddering breath, struggling to get a hold of himself. “I’m...thank you. I just- I love you all so much.” 

And then he was covering his mouth with his hand, crying quietly as Patton gathered him back into his arms, squeezing his eyes shut but relaxing further when the other two sides hurried to join the embrace. 

Roman couldn’t even imagine the weight that had just been lifted from Virgil’s shoulders, how rewarding acceptance without question must have felt. Especially when for him, every step forward was like climbing a mountain. 

He caught Logan sending him a questioning look, but he quickly shook his head. Later. They could talk it out later. Right now…

Right now Virgil just needed the reassurance. And Roman knew they were all more than happy to remind him they would never get tired of giving it to him. 

Taglist: @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @mygenderisidiot @a-very-gay-raccoon @dawnfire7 @cr4zyart @ray-does-stuff @whydoifeeltheneedtoorganizestuff @bunny222  @the-blue-recluse @bisexualdisaster106 @basilthefourth @snowtrashowl @thefingergunsgirl @trashtm @stubbornness-and-spite @kieraelieson @alias290 @darkch1ld @craz-ewaters @damy-02 @frogdog145 @gattonero17 @madamedraconis @stoicpanther @@love-to-read02 @that-spider-fan-over-there @thatoneloudowl @rich-flower-17 @demigodbookdragon @i-gobymanynames @wyvern-tales @spoopyseason66 @gaylotusthatexists @my-life-is-an-artistic-mess @that-one-fander @alias290 @yalltookmyurlideas @theantisocialghost @dark-strange-daughter @joylessnightsky @nova-galexa @luckymasie @stayarmy321 @starsinger @unhygienic-andy-the-anon @deathdarknessdevils @d-rizzle83 @spoonfullofcrofters @sarcasmremovedsoul @bananabread123443 @alpacadraws @nonbinaryemonugget @espepspes @awesome-and-unique-username @starshinemoonglow @honeybonesvirgil @fandertrash24 @tracingstarlight @sanders-fanders @heartwitchhouse @major-disaster-enby @a-poor-anxious-baby @franticfandomfanatic @the3rdpansexualpanda @a-flying-gay @hermitcreature @darkle-elkrad @coaltail121 @i-really-like-dragons @blagi @the-daydreamers-rebellion

[moonbaby26]

Title: Telling the Truth

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader, but also Magneto and Peter father/son interaction!

Summary: Continuation from previous chapter. Set during X-Men: Age of Apocalypse, you and the others finally defeat Apocalypse, just to end up stranded together until a way home can be devised. During the wait, you get to clear up some things with Peter on your feelings for him. Yet all goes sideways when Peter finally works up the courage to tell Magneto the truth about being his son.

Notes: For those that know the movies by heart, I made some more changes closer to the comics obviously. You’ll see.

Warnings: Some cursing, especially during the impromptu therapy session of Magneto and Peter unleashing their emotional baggage.

Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp , @wintwrsoldiwr , @tommy-braccoli , @amourtentiaa

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

You didn’t know what you felt anymore. In a way it was like being outside of yourself. Just watching from somewhere far away even as you were pouring every ounce of strength you had left into your hands, blasting Apocalypse’s shield over and over.

You were trying to cause even the slightest, tangible bit of damage to him, just as Magneto was, just as Scott was. And yet, even with the three of you giving all you had, the monster had already gathered himself up again. With just the movement of one hand, he’d thrown Hank violently to the side when Beast had gotten too close while trying to help you all.

And only moments after Hank’s unconscious body had come to rest, Scott had faltered as well. In exhaustion, he’d finally had to close his eyes, pulling his glasses back down as he’d staggered backward. Then with another flick of the wrist, Apocalypse had all too easily slammed the boy into a building, the wall he hit then swelling out to cover and encase him like some living horror.

You could still hear Scott screaming even as you realized Apocalypse had now turned his attention towards you. With his every step closer, that numbness grew within you. You were too weak to fly away now, after all the energy you’d thrown at him, you were barely still standing.

But you could see the irritation in his expression. It was obvious that he couldn’t understand your loyalty to one another. Why any of you would be fighting this hard, just to die.

He kept reusing the same tricks, but they were effective. As the earth shot up around you like tendrils on a vine, you couldn’t break free. As quick and flexible as it was, it only felt like concrete wrapping all around you. It pinned your arms to your sides and wrapped around your legs, chest, and throat.

With a clenching of Apocalypse’s fist, it all drew tighter. And when your energy field finally gave out, the last of your shielding went away with it. As that light faded, the pain of being slowly crushed exploded through you. But you couldn’t scream when you couldn’t even breathe.

Apocalypse would have Xavier. That was all he wanted, then outright ignoring the straining of Magneto in the sky above him, Erik desperately trying to still do anything on his own now.

But as your sight blurred and your senses faded, it was the most surreal thing, you could still recognize Jean’s silhouette as she also moved out into midair.

Yet it wasn’t her, at least not as you knew her. Somehow that thought had still floated through your dying mind, before the world exploded all over again.

Even without being powered up, you could feel that surge. Like a pressure wave of pure, raw force. It seared across everything, hot and burning. But like a warm fire, for those far enough from the center, it only revitalized them. Hank was awakened suddenly, soon enough breaking the pieces that held you and giving you a chance to breathe again before he ran on all fours to also free Scott.

And yet for Apocalypse, someone far too close to that center, and the real target of Jean’s fury, the only option was to burn.

You were on your knees as you still tried to catch your breath, but you all knew opportunity when you saw it. She’d broken through his shield, torn through his armor. But even as his flesh seared away, it was still trying to heal back just as quickly.

Magneto had impaled him to the spot with multiple steel bars as soon as his shield had fallen, but Apocalypse was a coward. As soon as that tide had started to turn, he tried to flee.

Hank called out, “He’s getting away!” As Apocalypse tried to teleport, an energy shield rebuilding to close around him.

Even digging as deep as you possibly could, you only had enough left to make a large orb from one palm. That white light encasing just one of your hands rather than your whole body as you realized you had to make this last shot count.

And just as you thought you were not going to have another opening to get past his shield, lightning began striking down right on top of him. A hole broke in his field with the force, the white haired girl from before surprising you all with a sudden change of allegiance.

You threw your orb at once then, controlling it to come right through the opening she had made. It exploded directly against Apocalypse’s head and neck, further blasting away muscle and bone that no longer had time to heal under all the combined attacks.

But it was still Jean who dealt the killing blow. With one final powerful surge of her energy, screaming, she erased the last of him. His body broke into only ash under her red aura. It spread into the sky all around her, like wings of flame before extinguishing at last.

You were still waiting for some final confirmation that it was really over though, that you’d won. After a few moments of only the sound of the receding wind, and the sand lightly blowing past with it, it was like a collective acceptance at last.

You fell back with a large exhale, exhausted as you laid onto your back in the dirt. In the sky, you could see Magneto and Jean hover back to where Xavier was, no doubt to check on him now. You could only imagine if Magneto would soon be apologizing to his old friend, or not, for his part in all this.

But you didn’t rest in your silence for long. As you heard footsteps, you turned your head enough to see Hank’s clawed feet approaching. But he wasn’t alone. He had Raven on one side and Peter on the other, Peter more so the one he was propping up with that broken leg.

“Raven wants to go see Charles,” Hank said by way of some explanation, awkwardly helping Peter sit back down beside you as the other winced in pain. “I need you two to stay here while we see if there’s any medical supplies intact nearby, and while we try to figure out how on earth we’re going to get home now.”

While Hank spoke, you thought Raven might have still been giving you a kind of odd look. As if she was trying to make sense of something. You could assume what, after the abrupt display between you and Peter before. But you were just too tired to feel anything other than relief right now that everyone was still here at all.

“Okay,” You said, maybe just to check that you could talk, as much as your throat still hurt from being squeezed earlier. But the two older mutants were then gone just as quickly. Hank had picked up Raven, jumping over to the exposed second floor of the building where the Professor and the others were.

Peter was unnaturally quiet afterward. At least for a while before he finally looked down at you. “So holy shit, right?”

You glanced up. That phrase really could reference about anything that had happened today. You smirked tiredly. “Could you be a little more specific please?”

“I mean, your friend just vaporized that dude.” Peter answered, waving one hand. He couldn’t stop from being animated even if he tried it seemed, even when injured. “Did you know she could do that? Like damn, we could have been done an hour ago.”

You tried not to laugh. It’d hurt your ribs too much if you did. “No. I’d say she didn’t even know she could do that.”

“Well, I know who not to piss off,” He said, before going quiet for a bit again.

You still hadn’t been around him all that long in actual length of hours. But for all you’d now been through since first meeting at the mansion, it seemed like this morning was lifetimes ago. And you could sense that his mind was churning with something else he actually wanted to say.

You looked up to him again after a while. “You okay?” You asked. Which probably was still a bit ironic for you to question, as even though he had the broken leg, you were also the one laying in the dirt, too tired and hurting to properly sit up.

It still took him some time to respond though. Which told you he actually was trying to weigh his words somewhat before speaking. But when they did finally start to come out, he was still pausing and hesitating. “I’m, um, first of all, sorry about the whole surprise kiss there. I figured you’d just slap the crap out of me or something. But I thought we were going to die too, and I...I just-”

He was looking at the ground now, like there would be some answer there that would help him verbalize what he was trying to say. “I know I screw up a lot and let things go that I shouldn’t let go I guess. I already flaked out with the whole reason I came up to your house this morning, the whole Magneto thing. And I didn’t want to do that twice, not telling someone the truth again all in one day just because I was being chicken shit. You’re just really cool, and you know...I just wanted you to know that.” He looked back at you at last, as if trying to judge if any of this was making sense at all.

It did and it didn’t of course. You didn’t understand at all what he meant about why he came up to the house in the first place, or anything about Magneto. But you didn’t want to question on that when he was already making himself vulnerable with the main point you thought he was trying to make to you at least.

“Peter, I kissed you back remember? I mean yes, there was a lot of stress involved. But it doesn’t make it a mistake.” Now you were the one perhaps putting too much optimism in your thoughts here, and taking a risk. “Maybe it just made it happen a lot sooner than it naturally would have. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t want that, you know, eventually.”

Again, you’d only known each other for a day in real terms. Of course it was too much. But everybody had to start somewhere, right? You had no idea what a serious relationship could be like though, you’d never had one. Just awkward first dates that never became second dates because it was always just weird. You didn’t feel anything that way for those people and it was always evident so quickly.

And yet here came this guy, dropped into your life like a bomb in a time of utter chaos and danger, and you thought you were now finally understanding why your friends seemed to go so crazy when they told you about their “crushes” at school. It was just something that clicked. You couldn’t put rational thought to emotions like this.

“So you wanted to kiss me?” Peter finally asked in a way that was somewhat silly to you, because of course you wouldn’t have done anything like that if you didn’t actually want to. And yet you couldn’t make any dry reply to that effect when you saw the honest expression on his face as he’d asked.

Was it really so hard for him to believe that he would be wanted? You were surprised, genuinely. Of course he was quirky and odd, well maybe a great deal odd. But for all the flashy appearance and smugness you knew he could radiate, did he not actually see his own worth?

You touched his hand lightly, as you sat up at last. It hurt, but he needed to see your eyes to believe you now. You knew this was important. “You’ve had me flustered since you first introduced yourself this morning. I’m not used to that, at all, so it’s really new. I don’t really know how it’s all supposed to work, or what I’m supposed to do next. But I can at least speak to how I feel. I want to be around you more, I want to be close.”

The physical and the emotional went hand in hand really. But, you’d both have to figure out your own comfort level on that. You continued, trying to put that into words. He didn’t owe anything to you. “You need to remember it depends what you want too though. I can like you with or without kissing again. If you just want a friend, that’s okay too.”

He chuckled, seeming kind of taken aback. “Hell...” He looked away a moment, running his hand through his hair. It was obviously a nervous gesture, as it only made it look messier. “I’d really be a pathetic boyfriend you know. Like, epically bad.”

“You think so?” You asked, trying not to press too hard, but also not wanting him to keep seeming like he didn’t deserve any of this kind of attention.

“I’ll annoy you eventually, you’ll regret it.” He kept on, a little bit quieter then.

“How do you know I’m not annoying?” You countered. Of course you hoped you weren’t, you seemed to get along well with the other students, and they ran the gamut of so many kinds of personalities. But really, how was it fair for him to assume any fault would only be his?

“Pfft.” He looked back to you. “You literally glow. It’s not even metaphorical. You’re like perfect, and-“

Did Apocalypse ding him in the head too? You were having none of that. “I’m nothing of the sort. And neither are you.” But you smiled before he could take that negatively. “And I’m totally good with that.”

He quieted again, just watching you for an awkward while, before finally responding. “I guess we can try. I mean as long as you’re admitting now that your taste in guys is really this bad and you won’t get mad at me later for saying I told you so.”

It didn’t seem proper to laugh, but he made you want to. “I’ll overlook you insulting the both of us. But yes, if you want to try, then so do I.”

“Okay.” He answered. Then seemed to realize the depth of this a little more. “Shit...didn’t expect to get mutant-napped by the government, fight a god, break my leg, and become a boyfriend all in the same day.”

“And rescue a whole mutant school,” You added.

He shrugged purposefully for effect. “That’s what heroes do, babe.”

The pivot from so self conscious that he could barely accept your attraction to him, to now wanting to brag again really was something to behold. You started to quip something back, but stopped when you saw his face go serious. He was now looking at something abruptly in the distance, so you turned your head to follow his gaze.

It was Magneto.

You straightened up as well, now fully sitting up before Erik landed in front of you both.

He was direct, speaking immediately. “It will still be some time before Charles’ little CIA friend can get her cohorts to arrange your transport out of here.”

You didn’t know if the distaste in his tone was more about Moira being a government agent, or just dislike to her presence here entirely, but he only continued. “And given that Hank has no idea how to field dress wounds without access to his full laboratory, I get that responsibility.”

Peter shifted, abruptly realizing the meaning then. “I’m fine,” He lied.

Of course he absolutely wasn’t fine. But clearly distrusting about whatever Magneto now had planned and the inevitable pain it could mean for him. Peter hadn’t moved his leg at all in the entire time you’d been sitting here together.

Erik only answered him sharply, “You need a splint before you do even more damage to yourself.”

As he then raised his hands, metal rebar started to drag itself out from the broken buildings all around you, leaving no question that this was no longer a choice for Peter.

It was hard not to think that just a short time ago, Magneto had been using that same kind of power to impale Apocalypse over and over again. And yet now he showed how controlled he could be, breaking the thin rebar into lengths that could run all the way from Peter’s thigh to just above his ankle, and even bending them slightly to match the natural curvature of the knee.

“Lift his leg.” Erik spoke.

You’d been so distracted with watching him work the metal, that it took you a moment to realize the command was for you. You looked briefly to him, then to Peter. You and Peter both shared the same nervous expression.

If you just used your hands, you felt like you would only hurt him, not being able to support his whole leg in a way that wouldn’t put more pressure on the break. But you also didn’t know if you’d rested long enough sitting here to use your powers at all either.

Someone as intimidating as Magneto standing over you both impatiently certainly didn’t help.

But if it meant less discomfort for Peter, you’d at least try. You lifted both your hands, facing your palms towards Peter’s leg while focusing as best you could. Normally what would have been fairly simple now took a good deal of effort in your still drained state. But a faint white glow did start to move across his leg, eventually covering it from his hip all the way to the end of his foot.

Once enveloped, you raised just your fingertips, lifting his entire leg gently, just high enough that Magneto could place the metal bracing around it.

You heard Peter make a small sound of pain as Erik had circled other metal strips around the longer ones that ran parallel with his leg, snugging it all into place. But beyond that, the unconventional first aid seemed to be successful. His leg was effectively now immobilized as you let it back down softly, the light fading away as you let go.

“I look like a Mad Max reject,” Peter commented absently, breaking the silence after a moment as he poked at the new metal contraption.

“You’ll be running and finding trouble again soon enough I’m sure. We still heal faster than the lesser species.” Magneto responded, but not all that surprising to you really that he would still find ways to throw jabs at non mutants even in an unrelated conversation.

What did surprise you was that when Erik had started to turn to no doubt leave again now that his task was done, it was Peter that stopped him.

“Hey, wait a second.”

You didn’t think you were imagining a new anxious sound in Peter’s voice either, and it bloomed all new nerves in you as well. What was it between the two of them? There had been confusing hints of something ever since you’d gotten to Egypt, but Peter had never elaborated to you. Not that he’d really had much chance either though.

But just because of who Magneto was, it was easy to imagine things taking a dangerous turn if the wrong thing was said or done, but you had no idea how to help when you didn’t even know what had Peter so focused on him.

You felt him touch your hand, like a physical desire for support, as he asked Erik in the most serious voice you’d ever heard from him. “Do you remember a woman named Magda Eisenhardt?”

Magneto went rigid, and you froze as well. Very suddenly you were wondering if the others could still see you from here. If they were paying you any mind at all right now. But the only person here fast enough to actually get away from Erik, was here beside you with one wing clipped essentially. There’d be no escape.

“How do you know that name?” He’d turned fully back to face you both, eyes locked on Peter.

By the way Peter had seemed to pause his breathing, he wasn’t immune to the sense of threat either, but he still answered. “Well she goes by Maximoff now. She’s my mother.”

You felt like a helpless bystander watching some kind of disaster unfolding in slow motion. The frightening look in Magneto’s eyes versus the way Peter was now almost squeezing your hand painfully. The mental gymnastics your mind was now going through were chaotic. Did Magneto do something to Peter’s mother? Were they enemies? Was this some vengeance quest?

But if any of that were true, why on earth would Peter confront him now? With both of you already injured with not a chance to survive or defend against someone of Magneto’s power?

Whatever frightful things were burning through Erik’s mind as well still silenced him long enough for Peter to speak again though. And it all came out then.

“I was too afraid to tell you earlier, but I guess I’m just ripping the damn band aid off everything now. She told me about you. How she left because she was afraid of you too. But she didn’t tell you about being pregnant. She went to the states, changed her last name and had me. Me and my sister Wanda. Twins. But I didn’t know any of that about you when I busted you out of the Pentagon those years back. I didn’t know who you really were. That you were the guy I thought had just run off, or maybe you were dead. I didn’t know my father was in a damned plastic cell less than ten fucking miles away all those years when we had nothing!”

A chill went through you. The anger in Peter’s voice towards the end only added to the shock as you were forced to process everything at once. This was why. God. Just...shit.

You were all silent after that. For an unbearable amount of time there was silence.

When Erik finally did speak, you heard the anger in him too, but it was different. There was a raw pain in that, something so extremely deep coming out of him now. His fist was clenching. “She was right, boy. If it’s all true, then Magda was goddamn right to do everything in her power to hide you from me and to try to put an ocean between us back then.”

With a little horror, you could see the smallest fragments of metallic debris starting to quiver along the ground. His emotion carrying over into the environment now.

“I did remarry after I escaped Washington and went back to Europe. We even had a little girl. Anya.” There was the slightest sheen of wetness in his eyes, even though sheer anger was the only look still coming from them. “They killed them. My wife. My daughter. The humans killed them because of who I was!”

He gritted his teeth, and you could plainly see a couple tears escape his eyes then before disappearing back behind the sides of his helmet.

“They would have done the same to you and your sister eventually. To Magda too. She knew she’d be caught in the crossfire even when I didn’t. She knew what I really was.”

“It doesn’t make it right!” Peter’s voice surprised you as it broke, uneven and just as emotional as he yelled back at Erik. But he looked down again afterward, his hand trembling against yours. “I’m sorry what they did, that was our little sister too then. But you can’t just lie to someone their whole life. My mom shouldn’t have waited so long to tell me! I could have helped you...maybe it could have been different. Maybe we-”

“It would have been the same result.” Erik said coldly. “Because I would have been the same.”

With that he flew off abruptly, completely out of sight before Peter cursed under his breath, looking defeated. “Goddamnit. He really is an asshole...”

You opened your mouth to respond, maybe to try and comfort him, but then hesitated. There was so much to digest on both sides here. “I think he might just need time to cool off...” You finally said, as delicately as you could.

“Correct.” The Professor’s voice popped into both your heads then, leading you both to glance towards the broken building where the others had been, to now see they were all standing on the edge looking towards you.

“Apologies for eavesdropping,” Xavier continued. “But you were getting quite loud, both verbally and mentally, and I wanted to make sure you were safe as I had instructed the others not to interfere.”

Peter sighed, maybe a bit embarrassed at the audience, but also still clearly unused to having anyone in his head as he replied aloud. “That’s so damn weird. Guess you’re good now then?”

“Getting there, thanks to all of you.” Xavier answered with a slight amount of humor, “But helmet or no helmet, I don’t need to read Erik to tell you that he’ll be back. His anger is only towards himself, not to you. You did the right thing by letting him know the truth. He’ll come around.”

There was another odd feeling of amusement from the Professor after a moment though. “In fact, knowing how possessive Erik can be, I dare say you may get more than you bargained for, Peter, in parental attention. Good luck to you too, (Y/N). Though I’d think he’ll approve of you once he realizes how much you genuinely care about his son.”

You stared, knowing Xavier couldn’t see your ‘are you for real/horrified’ expression from this distance but that he’d definitely feel it.

You saw Raven make an exaggerated gesture of a thumbs up from way over there and Peter laughed tiredly. “We’re totally screwed aren’t we?” You sighed and he just leaned into you, teasing. “See? Too early to say it yet? Nope, it’s not. Told ya so. Told ya so. Terrible choice of a boyfriend, babe!”

You put your head on your knees as he rubbed one of your shoulders. You mumbled numbly. “I just want to sleep for sixteen hours.”

—————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

[bcdwhcre]

“Sacrifice” Reader x Adult Trio

Prompt: simply something were to happen on a mission w/ adult trio and one of you has to be the sacrifice.

Warnings: none just sad bc I’m sad

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• Hisoka:

You had begged Hisoka to let you come with him on this mission, it had been a while since the both of you worked together and he couldn’t deny that you two made a good team but the more time went on, the more he got over protective with you and letting you come with him was like him having to babysit and do the mission all at once and he couldn’t risk losing you, not under his supervision.

When you finally went on the mission, you realized how hard it actually was until it came down to one last option at the back of your head. You didn’t want to think about it, you couldn’t so you continued to get up and fight with everything you had in you. Hisoka was trying his hardest to keep his eyes on you while also battling the main boss behind the whole operation you two were trying to take down. Hisoka simply thought this would be a fun interesting battle that he could probably easily win but with you here, he had to make sure you were safe above all.

Minutes passed and you were on the ground heaving from how exshaunted and beaten down you were. Your body ached but your heart broke more when you took a glance at Hisoka and seen how hard he was trying- for you. You knew in that second you had to do what you were thinking about earlier. Sacrificing yourself for Hisoka’s safety. Your power that was held inside of you was a deadly weapon, he knew that but what he didn’t know was that the power you held all these years can easily kill you. You kept it locked away for as long as you could, your past with your powerful family was traumatizing and you refused to use the power your abusive father passed on to you but the look on Hisoka’s face, the look you’ve never seen before was fear.

In that moment, it clicked and you knew you had to use it for this and knew you had to keep him alive at all costs. You couldn’t care less about yourself or your own life but Hisoka, you cared for his more. You never knew you could love someone this much that it made your heart ache. You slowly stood up, wiping the blood mixed with tears off your face and had used everything in your power to grab onto the boss and held on as you took everything you had in you to absorb the both of you with the intense power, practically burning you both alive.

Hisoka got knocked down from the sudden explosion, his eyes wide and strands of hair rested over his bloody forehead. He ran over to where you were, his heart racing and panic filled his head. Once he had seen your body, he knew what you did for him. He kneeled down and scooped up your lifeless body, emotionless. He didn’t know what to feel or what to think, you were all he had left. He had pushed the small strands from your face, sighing as the tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

“Thank you, darling.” Was all he said, carrying you away from the scene and through the woods, bringing you back home.

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Chrollo:

Chrollo had known you for quite some time and once you joined the spiders, the relationship between you two had blossomed rather quickly. It was unexpected, you had only joined to get revenge on the spiders for stealing precious items from the small town you came from but the more you had talked to Chrollo, the more you realized how much in common you two had and after that it went all downhill.

Your judgment was clouded, the only thoughts left in your brain was of Chrollo and you disappeared from your town years ago to stay with him and be wherever he was but the chain user had gotten to him in ways you didn’t want to believe and the chain wrapped around his heart had prevented him from speaking to the spiders and that had broken you down heavily.

It’s been months since you seen or heard from him and it had sent you in a spiral of sadness and rage to the point where you had gotten into a murderous rampage throughout the city, ripping apart people and burning places to the ground. Feitan had tried his best to look after you but it was no use considering how powerful you truly were and he noticed that there was no hope to tame a wild animal without their alpha, it was pointless.

Chrollo finally got light of what you were doing and it had made his heart ache more and more until finally he decided to do what was needed to be done. To see you. He didn’t bothering caring about the rest of the spiders nor the judgment chain that wrapped around his heart, preventing him from seeing you but as broken as you both were, he wanted to make this sacrifice just to see your face one last time.

He had made the arrangements and made sure he had written letters out to everyone in the troupe and one especially for you before he made his way to the city you were in causing chaos. Once he stepped foot in the city, he was having second thoughts. Did he want to kill himself just to see your face one more time or should he wait until he could get the chain off, would you handle waiting for that long? He wasn’t too sure but his love for you was huge and deep, it was endless and he knew he had to see you and make you stop this madness.

His feet made their way around, trying to find the exact location you were staying at before settling inside and waiting for you. His hair hung over his face and the clothes he wore were just a plain t-shirt and jeans. He was nervous, his hands were actually sweaty for the first time since he first met you. Suddenly, the door opened up and he saw a glimpse of your face and his heart began to race. You both made eye contact and you didn’t think twice before clinging yourself onto him. The hug was tight, your chests pressed against each other before your lips had met.

He knew he had to speed up this process, he knew it was coming in a matter of minutes so he quickly pulled back and made sure to cup your cheeks to keep you in place.

“Listen to me, I don’t have much time. I couldn’t handle not seeing your face or not being able to touch you and I finally realized that my last breath should be with you. You’ve made me open my eyes and see the world in a much better light, for that I’m forever grateful and I want you to live a long happy life, even if it’s without me. Got it?” He had rushed everything out, wiping the tears that had slipped and rolled down your cheeks.

“Chrollo- why,” Suddenly his eyes went wide for a second, the chain stabbing him clean in the heart and the whole time he kept his eyes on you, never letting go and you had to catch him as he fell, gasping for breath as his last seconds were kept focused on you.

“I love you, don’t forget that.” He barely managed to speak before his heart stopped beating and the life drained from his eyes.

You had sat there, holding his lifeless body close to yours as you tried to gather your thoughts and take in what had just happened. He risked his life to see you and for some reason you couldn’t handle that or process it. You knew you couldn’t manage without him and he wanted you to try. You had thought about years ago to when you two first met and had much he’s changed you, definitely made you crazy but in ways you didn’t mind.

Questions flew around your mind, are you going to be fine without him? Look around the city and look at what you did for him being gone for a few months and now he’s- gone forever. You felt stupid, it was your fault he came here and the pain thag swelled up your heart was so painful that it could kill you. It took you hours of holding onto his body to finally come up with a conclusion. As much as you loved him, you didn’t bring yourself to read the full letter he wrote to you, most of it consisting of living on for him and leading the Troupe but deep down Chrollo knew while writing it that the end of this story would be similar to Romeo and Juliet, the both of you dead inside the hotel room and he also accepted that fate.

As you got up from the floor, picking up a knife from your jacket pocket that was on the bed, you made your way back to lay beside him. The ache in your heart grew and grew more as you laid there before finally you made a sacrifice and that was to be with Chrollo. You pushed the knife in your chest, the sharp objecting instantly hitting your heart and your eyes rolled to the side to take one more look at him before the life drained out of you.

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• Illumi:

Illumi was never the type to be openly affectionate or caring towards other people. It had actually taken him years to even begin to show you that side and openly admit to somewhat feeling a different way when he was around you.

He was a quiet but gentle soul, that’s what you thought anyway but on the outside he was very cold and mysterious and that’s what you liked about him and that’s what drew you in.

He was very good at his job to say the least, never messed up and never ruined anything, he always got the job done and went back home or went back to wherever you stayed at. This time it was different, he had pushed himself a little too far and put his trust into your hands and had let you come along with him to do a job, assassinate a big well known man.

Illumi had repeatedly told you to stay close and to not get into any trouble and he would do the job, you were basically just a puppy following behind him and kept yourself tight on his trail until you had turned your attention away from him for a second, just one and that’s all it took for you to get yourself caught up in a ugly situation.

The people had taken you in as hostage and tried to use you against Illumi but you knew better than to put your life into his hands, he would leave you if it had to come down to his life. As much as you never said it aloud or wanted to admit it, he was afraid of losing you and didn’t want to put you in any danger.

You had met eyes with his, the cold stare on his face was making it hard to tell if he had any real emotion and if he was actually upset at the situation you got caught in. Your brain had wondered endlessly and you knew that you would be dead and you’ll have to be dead for him to do his job right and get out of here without a scratch.

Your eyes glanced around, trying to pick up the courage to try to fight the guys that held you hostage and you ignored the endless screaming of them threatening to shoot you if you didn’t stop but, you didn’t stop. You kept going, pushing them more and more until the gunshot echoed throughout the building.

Illumi’s eyes stared at you, taking the chance to kill everyone in seconds while they were distracted with you but he was a little too late as he seen your body limp on the cold floor, the bullet killing you instantly.

Illumi was never the type to sacrifice his life for someone else or care for someone but when it came to you, the amount of warmth he felt when he was around you was something new. It was thrilling yet scary in his eyes but he couldn’t shake you off, even when he tried and tried- you always came back.

The emotionless stars upon his face had stayed still, a small frown forming as he stared at you not knowing what to do, what to say. He ruined this mission, maybe if he had trust his gut to not take you and leave you back then you would still be alive. Now he was back to being alone and cold. The feeling of warmth he never felt from anyone, not even his own parents, was swept away in an instant along with your life.

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Send requests plssssss

• Masterlist

[yuzukult]

—saccharine

pairing: seokjin x reader word count: 2,319 prompt: seokjin doesn’t believe in love at first sight. so... what’s this feeling that’s churning in the pit of his stomach when he meets you for the first time? warnings: none. minor cursing. fluff attack. a/n: to celebrate my follower milestone! thank you all for supporting and reading my fics, it means a lot to me!

Everyday is a continuous, recurring cycle. 

First, the alarm rings. Then, he slams the snooze button on his phone before resuming into a light sleep for another eight minutes. The annoying horn sings again, and a wash of regret hits from never changing it out of the default, so he finally accepts this by getting up and sliding his feet lazily into a pair of slippers by the side of his bed before making way into the bathroom.

His hair is a mess. But it’s a mess everyday. Life has gone to the point that even brushing his teeth has become a dreadful chore. Shuffling through his bin of hair products, he finds the mousse he consistently loses and finds on repeat and then slaps a boatload of it onto his head.

This is basically a day-in-the-life of Kim Seokjin. Except it’s everyday. It’s never ending. It feels like one of those time loop movies where when he ends his day, it starts back off exactly like it did yesterday. 

To be fair, he can’t complain. He’s got a roof over his head, an apartment all to himself (that means without a roommate), plus a well-paying full time job. It’s hard to whine and cry about how his life seems to have no excitement, other than the occasional meeting with his friends, but contrarily… there’s not much to look forward to.

It’s the same mundane activities. Opening the cabinet above his kitchen counter as he usually does at this time, he grabs his favorite Cheerios. Good starts with happy hearts, as their commercials say, but Seokjin isn’t entirely sure that’s true. 

He’s a “cereal first and milk last” kind of guy. Not that he judges those who do it backwards, but he thinks if anyone does the routine in the opposite order, they might actually be backwards. It’s a condition—he makes it seem, and it’s a rather controversial topic for the guy.

Nonetheless, he enjoys his bowl of breakfast goods. He reads the news on his phone, and when the reminder on his watch dings, Seokjin rushes to put his dishes into the sink and hauls himself down the hall, in direction to his walk-in-closet that evidently is just too big for it being only himself. It’s a constant indication that he’s alone. 

By the time it’s 8:30AM, he’s dressed in his suit and tie, hair slicked back, and has a satchel slung over his shoulder in preparation of yet another day at the office.

But maybe he’d stop by that new place this morning. Change of pace. Maybe it’ll liven up his day and give him something to look forward to. Maybe he’d like it.

The place is around the corner, less than a three minute walk the moment he leaves his apartment building, and if he timed himself, it probably takes longer to leave his home and out of the building. The shop is cute; decor stickers are laid out delicately along the windows, the walls are painted a pretty blush pink, and there’s smiles on all the workers’ faces as if they enjoyed being there.

There’s a smile on your face in particular that captures his attention.

Seokjin is a relatively kind guy, or so he thinks he is. He’s never pinned over girls like those shows he’s seen on TV, but he’s had his fair share of relationships. He’s not shy, but he’s also not outgoing. He has an abundance of friends but only a few are ones he trusts. 

And the girlfriends he had were great but… no one really appreciates his generosity as much as he’d like.

He thinks he’s crazy at this moment, quite frankly, because he doesn’t believe in love at first sight. It’s this theory and idea that writers of a romance genre film and story that people whipped up together to make it seem more appealing to their audiences. But he doesn’t actually think it’s true.

Or is it?

Hair up in a messy bun, there’s a swipe of flour that coats your one cheek, and a smile that dresses your face so beautifully. You’re in a simple outfit that’s a combination of a white tee and blue jeans with the shop’s apron on top, while running around to keep up with all the orders coming through. He has hearts brimming in his pupils and he can’t seem to stop the way his chest tightens the second he lays his eyes on you. Is this what love at first sight is?

Seokjin doesn’t only regret not changing the default ringtone of his alarm this morning. He also regrets not asking for your number.

When he reaches his office, he realizes he forgets to ask for cream and sugar at the bakery. The dark, warm liquid glides down his throat with some difficulty; the bitterness layering his tongue but the memory of you sparks sweetness from within. Who were you? He doesn’t even know you and you’re on his mind like crazy.

Now, Seokjin has seen How I Met Your Mother. He’s watched the nine seasons, totaling out to two-hundred and eight episodes, so needless to say, Seokjin knows what goes on in that show. And ironically, he hates Ted. The guy is a hopeless romantic that thinks every girl he has his eyes on is ‘the one.’ Seokjin refuses to become like Ted, and he would be caught dead replicating those same actions.

Then why the fuck is he caught up on a girl he’s seen once? 

The second time Seokjin comes by the bakery, it’s a hell of a lot less busy. In fact, it’s only three people that man the storefront, rather than the six that he saw the first time he stopped by. He has his fingers crossed behind his back as he waits in the queue patiently, hoping you’d be the one taking his order this time around.

Luck must be on his side because you’re greeting him with those pearly white teeth. “Good morning, nice to see you. What can I get for you today?”

Abort, abort! He can’t talk. He swears that his heart has found its way up into his throat, and he can’t get any words to come out.

You blink. Those gorgeous long lashes brush your cheeks so deftly, and it swells his heart that’s now lodged in the path of his airways. “Sir?”

Seokjin swallows. “Oh—yeah, sorry sorry. Uh, can I get a medium hot coffee? Cream and sugar, please. Forgot to mention that last time and I almost died from the bitterness.” Was that an appropriate comment to make? Did it make you laugh? Or were you offended that he just insulted your workplace’s coffee

He cheers in success on the inside when a soft chuckle escapes from your lips. “Aw, I’m sorry to hear. I guess we should have also done our part and asked if you wanted any. Did you want to order anything else?”

Ah. Was the conversation already ending? But it’s so soon! He barely held the dialogue for a couple seconds, and since he’s got your attention, he can’t let go now. Quickly, his eyes skim the menu and the display case full of baked goods. “Uh, what do you recommend?” He asks, gesturing to the sweets. 

You wave your hand for another coworker to take the next customer’s order. Walking over to the sweets, Seokjin trails over as well, observing your expression. You’ve got your brows furrowed, deep in thought with a quirk of the side of your lips, engrossed with the plentiful of options. “Do you like tarts?”

—

Seokjin is a regular now. 

Whenever the clock strikes 7:30AM, he’s already in his work attire, hair at its best, and has checked his face in the mirror for the fiftieth time. Then, he’s on route to the corner bakery.

He wants to look good before he meets you. Handsome guy for a pretty girl. It’s only right.

The bells at the front door of the shop ring loudly the moment he enters in, and immediately his ears are filled with that beautiful laugh of yours, but you’re not alone. It’s accompanied by someone else’s, a voice that doesn’t match any of your other coworkers and his jaw clenches at the thought. Who is this male that claims to be the purpose of your giggling with a mop he calls hair on the top of his head?

“Oh!” You beam, lifting up the cup of hot coffee in hand. “Seokjin! Come here, I have a new pastry for you to try, and your daily caffeinated beverage to pair it with. Plus, I want you to meet my friend.”

His name is Taehyung. The freaking guy looks like a model, strutting into the café like it’s his runway, and when his gaze meets Seokjin’s, it makes Seokjin feel small.

Seokjin likes you, if the amount of times he comes in a week is evidence for it. He doesn’t just do that either; he often stirs up a conversation, asks how your day is going so far, and even goes out of his way to remember small details so he can bring it up next time. But he can’t help but wonder—do you have a boyfriend? Are you being kind only because Seokjin is a customer? Or are you normally this sweet as those raspberry filled pastries you set him up with? 

And those questions are only emphasized when Taehyung smiles, extends his hands and offers Seokjin a firm shake. “I’m Taehyung.”

Seokjin’s entire work day has gone to shit. All he could think about was who Taehyung was and why you were so adamant about Seokjin meeting him. 

After taking the last bite of the delicious pastry you packed for him (free of charge, too), it hits him. 

If Seokjin liked you, he should just confess his feelings, no matter what the consequences. Instead of sitting here with his shoulders slouched, eating this treat you gave him with a pout upon his lips, he shouldn’t continue waiting around and feeling sorry for himself anymore. Why would he make himself suffer like this when there’s a way to end this vicious cycle? 

Seokjin concludes that he’s going to confess tonight. 

—

What Seokjin learns about you is that you are by far not close to his ideal dream girl. 

You’re the “milk first, cereal last” gal, and he believes you’re ass backwards. You like consistency, and your favorite ringtone is the sound of those stupid horns he has for alarms in the morning. You enjoy the first few hours of your day, basking in the routine that you’ve put together yourself, including the one that had recently involved seeing Seokjin’s face. 

And although you’re not his dream girl, you’ve become it.

“I like you,” He finally confesses, a bouquet of flowers in his hands that match the decor stickers plastered on the shop's windows. “Would you… go out with me?”

Seokjin isn’t here in the mornings like he normally is, opting that since this is definitely a change of pace, he might as well go all out. Maybe this will be different. Maybe he’ll be happier.

Stunned, your mouth drops open. You’re stuttering over your own words, practically malfunctioning like a machine. “Wha—Like—what? Like… you like me as in like… a woman? More than a friend? You want to take me out?”

“Uh,” Seokjin scratches behind his ear anxiously. Was his plan backfiring? “Yes? I… like you. As in, I come here in the mornings for coffee, yeah, but I mostly came to see you. I enjoy hearing your laugh, seeing your smiles, and listening to you talk about these pastries like they’re your world and I—“ He pauses, inhaling a sharp breath, “—then you introduced me to this really good looking guy named Taehyung and I didn’t know what my chances were with you anymore, so here I am. Confessing.”

You’re silent. Truthfully, Seokjin’s not feeling good about this. His palms are sweaty, his heart is racing, and you still haven’t said a word and he’s sure that over thirty seconds have already passed by.

“What—“ You start again, quickly stopping yourself with a shake of your head. “Thank god, really.”

The front of Seokjin’s brows dip in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

You laugh, combing your fingers through your loosened locks. “I’ve been trying to tell my coworkers that I had this stupid crush on you since you first came in. You’re such a great listener, you’re handsome, and fun to talk to. They think you’re too good to be true, so they thought you wanted to be my gay best friend. Hence… the Taehyung test.”

“The Taehyung test?” Seokjin reiterates. 

Chewing on your bottom lip, your eyes are swirls of apologies. “He’s cute, right? Either you’d get jealous that a guy like him has my attention and you like me, or you like him and you’re jealous that he’s making me laugh instead of you.”

Seokjin’s shoulders drop in relief. “So… does that mean you’ll go out with me?”

You smile softly. “Of course, Jin.”

He doesn’t think those mundane activities he identified before are boring anymore. No, not with you, they’re not. He doesn’t mind watching you pour milk instead of cereal first in the mornings because he’s glad he gets to be the one who pinches your side teasingly and call you a weirdo. He doesn’t hate the sound of the horns—okay, a lie, he hates it so much, but they’re bearable when you’re around since you don’t hesitate to shut it off the minute it rings, and immediately hop out the bed, without using the snooze button. Brushing his teeth is a delight, especially when he sees your toothbrush sitting in your own designated cup on your side of the sink.

Everyday is a continuous, recurring cycle. 

But Seokjin doesn’t mind those things if it’s done with you. 

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, onto chapter 128 of SnK.  There’s some really huge thematic payoff in this chapter which I want to talk a little about!

The big theme that really comes full circle here is the theme of violence, and how it’s intrinsically linked to the human condition.  That’s obviously a huge theme throughout this entire series, but in a lot of ways it culminates in this chapter.

I first really noticed it in a big way, in terms of having a big impact on the characters, way back in chapter 50 something, during the Uprising arc, in that scene where Jean, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa and Armin are waiting around, and they start talking about Levi and how repulsed they feel by what they perceive to be his unnecessary violence.  They flatly condemn him for it, even going so far as to say there’s something wrong with him, and making bold statements about how they would never kill another person, no matter the circumstances.  This statement of course comes back to bite them not long after, when Armin is forced to kill one of Kenny’s squad in order to save Jean, and Jean begins to understand the impossibility and even selfishness that can be inherent to holding without compromise to one’s moral values. 

That theme comes back in a huge way in chapter 128, and it’s really interesting to see Reiner try to step in and take on the role of martyr by telling the members of the 104th that they don’t need to fight, trying to save them from the moral dilemma of killing their own comrades.  What I found really interesting here was how Jean, Connie, Mikasa and Armin don’t answer at first, and you can see this is a huge struggle for them, the scenario presented before them one which clearly goes against everything they want to believe they’re fighting for.  Connie even says that they’re supposed to be saving people, not murdering their friends, etc...  But it’s impossible to ignore how it’s Hange who steps in and dashes any possibility of them sitting this fight out against the rocks.  They say they aren’t interested in being a spectator, and reminds everyone there that humanity doesn’t have any time left for them to be debating their morality.  This ties back in perfectly with what Levi had spoken to his squad about way back in the Uprising Arc, again, when he told them he doesn’t know what’s right or wrong, and that all any of them can do in any given situation is act in the way they think is best, both for themselves and those they care for, and for humanity as a whole.  We’ve seen Hange come to terms with this blunt and often brutal reality well before this, during the battle for Shingashina, for example.  Hange really began to separate whatever moral qualms they might have had, any emotion they might have had about killing other people, during this arc, and coming to really understand and accept that sometimes morality was something that had to be sacrificed for the greater good.  Here in chapter 128, Hange isn’t interested in or willing to indulge in preserving either their, or anyone else’ moral purity at the expense of the Marlyean group.  They’re in this together, and Hange understands fully that to accept Reiner’s offer of sitting back and watching while he, Annie and Pieck take on the Yeagerists would be the height of selfishness and a prime example of placing one’s own moral purity over the well being of others.  I always think it’s brilliant the way AoT explores these issues, of how an uncompromising loyalty to one’s idea of morality can, in fact, lead to total disaster for others, can in fact worsen the lives of others.  How if one has a moral code they are absolutely, under no circumstances, willing to break, that person often is the one who is most self-serving and self-centered, more concerned with keeping their own hands clean than with helping anyone else.  SnK doesn’t condemn violence, but instead makes very strong arguments for why it is sometimes not only an option, but the ONLY option, and that’s incredibly bold, and incredibly true to reality.  

Armin, as usual, is the first to understand this, after Hange reminds them all.  Armin was also the first, back during the Uprising Arc, to extend understanding towards Levi and his violence, and why he had to at times resort to it.  Armin flat out says here “I refuse to stand by with clean hands”.  He’s acknowledging the selfishness inherent in an uncompromising moral code, and refuses to place himself above the rest of humanity, even if it means once more getting his hands dirty with the blood of other people.  He still comes up with a plan to try and avoid any bloodshed, but you can see Armin is willing and ready in this moment to do whatever is necessary, which he does when he and Connie get into the situation they do with Daz and Samuel.  Armin is the one who tackles Samuel, which is what gives Connie the chance to shoot him.

There’s this huge moment with Levi I want to talk about, after everything goes to shit and Armin’s plan falls apart, where Yelena says “You can’t separate humanity from violence.”  And then she says to Levi “Right, Captain?”, and we get a look at Levi’s face, and once again, he just looks filled with naked despair.  I think these two panels are incredibly important in understanding Levi’s own psychology during this entire final arc.  Yelena is right, for once, when she says you can’t separate humanity from violence.  It’s a part of the human condition.  And she asks Levi specifically about it, because if anyone understands this, it’s Levi, who grew up in a world where violence was often the ONLY option, if one wanted to survive, or protect those they cared for.  But Levi’s saddened expression in the following panel really speaks to his feelings regarding the undeniable truth of Yelena’s words.  Levi knows it’s true, but he wishes desperately that it wasn’t.  I’ve called Levi an idealist over and over, and it’s because Levi is someone who understands the way of the world, and understands human nature, with more clarity and compassion than probably any other character in the series, he understands that violence, pain, poverty, desperation, fear, death, are all a part of life, and especially a part of the human condition, and yet, even with that understanding and acceptance, Levi is also someone who strives towards something better,  towards a world in which these things AREN’T necessary, aren’t inevitable.  Levi has been fighting this whole time in order to try and create a world in which people can live in genuine peace and prosperity, without fear, or violence or inequality.  But every bit of Levi’s life experience tells him and reminds him, day in and day out, of the impossibility of that ideal.  The impossibility of creating a world in which these things don’t exist.  Nothing in Levi’s life would ever lead him to believe true peace and prosperity for all is an attainable dream, nothing in his life which would ever give him real hope in that dream becoming reality.  But still, he fights for it.  This is part of what makes Levi so remarkable.  It’s the very fact that he STRUGGLES to believe in the possibility of a better world, and yet still gives everything of himself to make it a reality, that makes Levi such a hero.  In fact, Levi doesn’t really believe that it’s possible, I don’t think, his life having been too hard and too desperate to fully embrace such an ideal notion.  But, once again, even as he’s riddled with doubt as to it’s attainability, he sacrifices everything he has for the possibility, no matter how slim.   Levi’s naked despair in the panel following Yelena’s question is because he’s being reminded once again of the impossibility of that dream.  Once again, he’s being shown that humanity is incapable of achieving true peace within itself, he’s being shown once again that people are by nature violent and warlike, and that everything he’s fought for seems more and more like a distant and hopeless dream.  Yelena sits in stark contrast to Levi here.  She’s bitterly accepting of the ugly reality, unmoved and unemotional.  She doesn’t care.  She thinks humanity is a worthless mess, unsalvageable and unworthy of salvation.  To Yelena, this is the inevitable result of humanity’s very existence, and to fight for something that unrealistically idealistic is a fools errand.  Indeed, Yelena seems almost to revel in it, the violence serving as affirmation of her beliefs, giving her a sense of validation.  But Levi, beside her, is deeply affected, his pain and sadness openly expressed in his face, his disappointment and heartbreak plain to see.  Levi is HURT by the violence, by seeing it unfold.  Levi, despite knowing the truth of Yelena’s words, despite knowing from the most first-hand experience the brutal and violent nature of human beings, and the improbability of humanity ever achieving true peace, still believes with his whole heart that humanity is WORTH fighting for.  Levi, despite how hard it is for him to believe in actually achieving a better world, still believes that FIGHT is worth an attempt.  And that’s really one of the most vital philosophical difference between Levi and people like Yelena, or Zeke.  Despite knowing and understanding better than anyone the brutal and harsh reality of the world and humanity, to Levi, it’s still something that’s worth fighting to protect, and worth sacrificing for.  Even against his own, weary doubts as to its possibility.  And that just shows a strength of character that is immense.  To be so burdened by doubt, but still to fight with every last ounce of your strength, to give to your very last breath.  That’s Levi.  That strength of character, that unwavering conviction in giving his all to a cause he isn’t at all sure is even possible, is never more apparent than in this final arc, when Levi is in the most literal sense at deaths door, physically wrecked and barely able to even stand, and yet still he fights with everything he has.  That truly is remarkable.  That truly is heroic.

Just one more note.  Floch really exposes himself in this chapter for what he actually is, which is a power freak.  He’s been spouting off this whole time about the Empire of Eldia and saving the island and the people on the island and blah, blah, blah, but during his conversation with Kiyomi, he admits that he doesn’t really believe that the island will be safe, even if Eren wipes out all of humanity, that people will still continue to kill each other, and then he starts in about how what’s important now is for people to “know their place”, as he holds a gun to Kiyomi’s head.  Floch is a power freak, he wants to control other people, wants to dictate to them, wants to hold power over them.  He exposes that about himself here.  He doesn’t actually care about Paradis, or the people on it.  He’s simply getting off on being able to push other people around and make them do what he tells them to.  He’s such a bitch.  It was hilarious when Kiyomi took his ass down and messed his arm up.  

[mindswriters]

Next Morning - jj maybank × reader

Summary: y/n and jj are friends with benefits for a couple months ago, in secret of course, but after a night where the blonde could not control himself, you guys have to chase after a next morning pill.

Pairing: jj maybank × reader

Warnings: a tiny bit of smut, unprotected sex [no glove no love my friends], swearing, pregnancy scare, probably typos.

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: this is "low" key inspired by otis and ruby from sex education, i thought they were cute.

gif by @toesure :)

"Oh fuck Y/n, you're doing so good" JJ grunts as you speed your pace bouncing your hips against his shaft, riding him like your life depends on it.

Tonight was being just another boring Thursday night at the outer banks, at least until your best friend, JJ Maybank, calls you saying that he was alone at the chateau, and asked you to come over. A few months ago you guys updated your friendship with some benefits, and since then a day without your other Pogue friends means a huge opportunity to enjoy yourselves together, so why not.

"You fill me up so nice J" you moaned tugging his blonde locks while you sank yourself on his cock one more time.

Incredible as it sounds, this is the first time you're riding JJ's cock. After lots of tries, he finally left out his dominant side and let you take control of him, but obviously at some point he would buck his hips and meet your thrusts, making it feel even better. Honestly, he wasn't expecting it to be this good. He loves the way your breasts are pressed against his chest while you move your hips roughly, this position basically gives him a free pass to cover your neck with bites and hickies. And all of this plus your moans filling up the room are driving him insane.

"Fuck, I can't" he breathed out under your ear but you kept with your pace, looking for your high, and you could say it wasn't so far "Y/n, I think I'm gonna- oh fuck"

"What the actual fuck JJ?" you cursed panting when you felt the stick liquid scratching your inside walls and reached your high too.

At the beginning of this 'thing' you were still two good kids who always protected yourselves, but as deep as you dived in each others lusts, you discovered that neither you nor JJ were the biggest fans of condoms, so you made a deal, you can do it without them, as long as he don't release inside of you. And by the looks of it, he just broke the deal.

"Did you just came inside me?" you just aren't freaking out because you're still dizzy from your orgasm

"Shit I think I did" he said by passing his hands through his messy hair and heavy breathing.

"This is not a joke, JJ. Didn't you felt it coming?" you asked in a hard tone while reaching for his shirt to clean yourself up

"It was impossible not to feel it" the blonde answered with a smirk

"Then why don't you warned me, pulled off or whatever?" you now have a worried tone in your voice

"I tried! but come on Y/n, I'm mild high and you were having no mercy with me!" he exclaimed throwing his hands on the air

"Don't put this all on me" you ran your hands through your face and trying to stay calm, realizing the big problem you had just created.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay, even though you were riding me like a goddess, it was my dick who painted you so..." he said getting close to you and wrapping your naked body with his arms.

You softly giggled relaxing a bit with his touch, you know he's worried too, his brain is only a little slower than yours to process information, but you're sure that once he remember that one of the consequences of this "slide" could be an unexpected pregnancy and you becoming parents with 17 years, he'll freak out.

"So what do we do now?" he asked caressing your hair

"Since we're on the cut, without the twinkie and there's none 24-hour drug store in here, we'll go to sleep and wait until tomorrow morning to go buy a next morning pill." you explained what seemed to be the best option now.

"It means you're staying over?" he asked and you nodded smirking "Sounds good to me then"

After that, you guys took a quick shower just to free your bodies from the sweat and other things even more disgusting, and didn't even bothered in putting back your clothes, you just cuddled and fell asleep naked under a thin blanket, because above all, his body's heat still makes you feel safe.

¤¤¤

You can't say that you slept like an angel this night, you were too worried for it. So as soon as you saw the bright light from outside trespass the room, you carefully reached your phone on the nightstand and checked the time, it was almost 8 in the morning. Considering you don't want to be naked with your best friend in the spare room when John B arrives, and that the sooner you take the pill the better, you decided it was time to get up. You slowly pulled JJ's arm away from your waist and stood up without waking him up. You picked your underwear from the floor and put them on, along with your jeans shorts from the day before and lent one of JJ's shirts, the one with a Kildare Marina print. The boy only woke up when you got back from the bathroom, and opened the curtains, basically torturing him.

"Oh come on, what time is it?" he grunted scratching his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Time to fix the previous night, sweetheart" you answered picking up some clothes that were still on the floor.

"Can't we just wait a little more?" he yawned.

"No, we can't, unless you want to increase the chances of me having a mini you on my uterus" you stared him cocking your eyebrows.

"Okay, right, I'm up" he stood up quickly, but he wasn't 100% awake yet.

"Uh, try to put some clothes on, I'll be in the kitchen" you faked a disgusted face pointing to his not too little exposed friend.

While JJ was doing his morning routine, you started looking for something you could eat, but the old pizza slices, mold breads and cereal wastes didn't seem at all attractive to you and your lack of hunger. At that moment the feelings that consume you most are those of concern and guilt, concern because you know that the next morning pill isn't 100% effective, and you definitely can't handle having a baby now, you are too irresponsible for this, and that's why you also feel guilty, because if you wouldn't had accepted that goddamn "no condom" deal, nothing of this will be happening. But suddenly you were dragged away from your thoughts by the sound of the Chateau's front door opening, you could say that John B was trying to be quiet, but it didn't work very well, since the doors of the house are old and creak with any movement.

"Shit!" the brunette whisper-shouted placing a hand on his chest when he entered the kitchen "Wow Y/n, you scared the shit out of me, what are you doing?"

"Uh.... breakfast?" you quirked your eyebrows showing him the cereal box in your hands

"Yeah I can see you're doing your breakfast, 'what are you doing here?' is what I meant" he said placing his keys on the counter.

"I'm waiting for JJ, we have some important things to do" you said staring your cereal bowl, avoiding to meet eyes with your friend.

"JJ? Doing important things this early in the morning?" you pursed your lips in a suggestive smile and nodded your head "And why are you wearing his shirt?"

You almost chocked with milk at the question, stuttering to find a plausible answer "Because... I- spilled toothpaste on mine?" it definitely sounded more like a question.

John B was about to question you again but thank God JJ finally joined you, now wearing his classic boots and cargo shorts, and some random shirt.

"Oh hi Jombie" he said scratching his eyes with the back of his hand.

Before your friend could even answer, you stood up and made your way towards JJ "Finally sleeping beauty, can we go now?" you said linking your arms.

"I was actually craving for some breakfast first" he pointed to the table, where John B was putting some cereal for himself.

"You know what might happen if we get late, don't you?" you whispered quirking your eyebrows and giving the blonde a serious look and heading to the front porch.

"Ok, breakfast can wait, see you later JB, oh and we're taking the twinkie" he grabbed the keys John B had previously dropped on the counter and hushed to meet you outside.

"See ya weirdos" John B shook his head and rolled his eyes seeing the antics of his two best friends.

The drive to the drugstore was silent, but not an awkward silent, more like a reflexing silence. The more you tried to stay calm and shrug off all the "what ifs" in your head, the more the anxiety took hold of you. For JJ, you were going to take the pill and everything would work out, but you know it's not like that, these emergency methods don't always work, and if it doesn't work this time, you have no idea how to deal with a possible pregnancy at 17. What your friends will think when you come clean and tell them about your escapades and that they resulted in your pregnancy? How would you explain this to your parents? How would they react? How JJ's father would react? All this thoughts were zoning out in your brain when a gentle touch stopped you from freaking out. You moved your gaze from the window to JJ's hand rubbing your tight, and then you looked at his face to see a reassuring smile, like saying "it's going to be ok" but without words. You smiled back, feeling the anxious feeling leave your body and mind. It didn't take long for you guys to be parking the van a few meters from the drugstore.

You were about to enter the store when something clicked on your mind "Wait!" you said grabbing JJ's arm, making him stumble on his feet.

"What's wrong?" he frowned staring at you.

"JJ we live on an island. What if someone sees me buying next morning pills? I don't want the whole obx gossiping about me and my sexual slides" you said crossing your arms and looking away from him.

"Okay, I'll do it then" he said and you immediately stared at him, surprised and trying to figure out if he was being serious, just when you were about to complain, he gently squeezed your shoulders "Wait here, I'll be right back"

And just like that you were left alone in front the small store, you looked around, thankfully the street was pretty empty, so you decided to sit down on the curb and wait for him to come back. Which was faster than you expected. As soon as you heard the bell, you got up and waited for him to give you the box that he had in his hands.

"These are just bubble gums" he shrugged rolling his eyes.

"Bubble gums? What the hell JJ?" you laughed in disbelief.

"She said she couldn't sell it for me because I don't have a fucking vagina" JJ protested trying to not be so loud.

You sighed licking your lips. But is better to deal with buying the pill in person, to deal with having a baby. You opened your purse, looking for your sunglasses and when you found them you tapped JJ's shoulder "stay at the door, you'll be my look out"

"At your disposal, boss" he said holding the door while you two entered the store, you put on your glasses trying to disguise a little smirk in your lips.

You slowly walked between the hallways, pretending to be some random costumer, not that you weren't, you just don't want to seem so desperate. When you finally reached the cash counter, you looked over your shoulder to see JJ nodding and giving you tumbs up.

"Hey, can I have a next morning pill?" you mumbled twitching your nose.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you" the woman on the cashier said.

"A next morning pill, please" this time you were clearer, masking the awkwardness with an even more awkward smirk.

"When did you last have sex?" the cashier asked.

"Last night" you stated, isn't it obvious? you thought to yourself.

"Did you use contraception?" the question made you stomach turn. Why did you have to be so irresponsible? Stupid deal.

"No" your whisper could barely be heard by you, let alone the woman behind the counter.

"Miss, did you use contraception?" she repeated the question after your lack of response.

"No, we didn't" your eyes widened when you heard JJ's voice coming from a few meters away.

Both you and the cashier stared at him, who immediately regretted the previous words "Sorry, I'm just the look out" he scratched the back of his neck.

Returning the attention just between you and the mild-age woman, she made a few more questions and after finishing to fill up your form, she finally gave you the little box with all the prescriptions to take the pill. You also asked for two Pepsi cans for you and JJ, you were about to pay the woman when you felt an around your waist.

"What do you think you're doing, lady?" JJ asked taking your wallet from your hands.

"Well, if you please give my wallet back, I was going to pay for those things" you stared at him trying to reach his other hand behind his back.

"No way, I'll pay for it" he returned the wallet for you and grabbed his own one on his pocket.

"J, you don't have to, it takes two to tango remember?" you protested biting your inner lip and giving him non-intentional puppy eyes.

"Then we should at least split it" he definitely has a point now.

"Okay, fine, you win" you rolled your eyes giving up and earning a grin from your best friend.

¤¤¤

After you and JJ have paid for the pill and your sodas, he said he wanted to go somewhere else, so he drove the twinkie to the old forts on Battery Jasper, some kind of cliff or mountain where we could almost see the entire Outer Banks. You guys sat on some old big rocks and while you struggled against the wind to try to read the pill bull, JJ decided to break the silence.

"Do you think we should break the deal?" he hesitantly asked.

"You mean the 'condom free' deal or all the friends with benefits deal?" you chuckled looking at the paper in your hands.

"Do you want to stop what we've been doing? 'Cause if you do I'm not stopping you, it's just- I really enjoy spending time with you and..." he started rumbling but you soon interupted him.

"Hey! chill out blondie!" you giggled cupping his face with your right hand "We don't need to stop it, even because I like messing around with you too, a lot. We just need to be more careful" you explained.

"Okay..." he relaxed with your touch and you two shared a smile and stared at each other for a few seconds.

You cleared your throat when you remembered that you were the one hurrying him up and now you almost forgot that you have a pill to take asap. You opened your Pepsi and medicine, putting the pill on your tongue and taking a sip of the drink to help you swallow. JJ watched you and while you were drinking again you heard little laughter coming from him.

"What?" you gave him a suspicious look.

"Nothing" he giggled making you narrow your eyes at him "I just imagined us being arrested for killing a poor little baby"

"So would you prefer waking up at 3am to changing diapers?" you laughed arching you eyebrows.

"Ew, no" you both erupted in laughter, you love the way you and JJ never feel awkward, not even in scary moments like these.

When you recovered from your crisis of laughter, you took a deep breath and felt a grip on your tight, you looked up to see JJ staring at the horizon, and you could say that he was thinking about something.

"You know, I would like to have a baby with you" he said with a shy grin.

"Oh come on J, give it a rest" you shook your head chuckling and taking another sip of your drink.

"No, I meant it! Of course not right now, but if we reach our thirties without meeting our perfect pairs, we could marry each other and just maybe have a little bit of kids" he said nonchantly.

"A little bit of kids?" you smiled and stared at him, trying to figure if he was being serious or not "I can't believe you're real Maybank" you giggled.

"What? Have you never heard that people are happier when they marry their best friends?" he suggested.

"Maybe" you shrugged looking away.

"So what? Do we have a deal?" he bit his lip quirking his eyebrows in your direction.

"I'm not making anymore deals with you, blondie" you said, immediately seeing his happy face fall to a sad one "But maybe, just maybe, I liked your idea" you smirked turning your face to look at him.

"I knew it!" he cheered with a kiss on your cheek and clicking your cans he said "To our future possible marriage"

"Cheers" you gave a little laugh, which was interrupted by your phone ringing.

As soon as you unlocked your screens, you were surprised with dozens of notifications on your twitter, and also 2 messages from John B, you opened them first.

Jombie 🏄‍♂‍: so is that the "important things" you guys had to do? am i missing something?

Jombie 🏄‍♂‍: 📷 Photo

When you downloaded the file, you came across a screenshot, it was from Topper's last tweet: a picture taken from outside the drugstore, through the glass wall, you and JJ standing in front of the cash counter, his arm on your waist, and thanks god, only the two Pepsi cans could be seen on the counter. Your eyes widened even more when you read the caption "Looks like Maybank and Y/l/n finally assumed their shit! What would those lovebirds be doing on a drugstore this early in the morning?"

"What happened?" JJ asked seeing how your expression went blank looking at your phone.

"Weren't you supposed to be the look out?" you said turning your phone to him and pointing to the screen blowing with notifications, but still showing the picture on Topper's tweet.

"Shit."

They have some things to explain now, or maybe some good excuses to came up with.

taglist: @blueflame2778 @outerbongs @maybebanks @k-k0129 @dani-c20 @jjsmaybcnk @wicked-laugh @wallflowercal @obx-pouges @alwaysasadaesthetic @marvel-ousnesss

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch6: That Makes Two Of Us

Summary: Things heat up between Katie and Steve as their relationship progresses, but when Tony caches them out, he’s on the war path.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad Language, Smut (dry humping, oral- male receiving) NSFW, 18+. and a VERY angry Big Brother...

A/N: One of my favourite chapters. Thank you to @angrybirdcr​ , its a pleasure to have your edits for the repostings!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 5

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

End of May 2013

“For the one hundredth time, no, Tony I am NOT coming.” Katie groaned as she pulled up outside Steve’s apartment building “I have work to do.” “But the damned meeting is in DC!” Tony protested “Surely you can manage to spare an hour! You’re part of the board!” “You know full well that’s only to make sure that Starks maintain a controlling stake!”

“So basically what you’re saying is that you don’t care about our business.” Her brother’s voice took on a petulant tone. He could be such a child at times. “Stop being a dick.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose “Look, I’m busy with work, I can’t just drop everything you know just because you-” “Have you got a man on the go?” Tony asked suddenly, cutting her off “Because I’ve not seen you for weeks. Do I need to prep a Shovel Talk?” “Goodbye, Tony.” Katie cancelled the call before she stepped out of the car and headed to the lobby door.

In his apartment Steve was reading a proposal and groaning to himself. They wanted him to record videos to talk to high school kids about puberty, keeping fit, being in detention, not doing drugs…and he had agreed, just to shut them up mainly, but he was already regretting his decision. With a final wrinkle of his nose, he threw down the document he was looking at and was about to make himself a coffee when the buzzer to his apartment went off.

“Hey, Handsome.” Katie’s voice rang over the intercom and he smiled just as he always did when she called him that, a habit she’d slipped easily into over the last three weeks of dating, which had consisted of early morning breakfast meets on their way into work, stolen lunchtimes away from the office where they could hold hands with a slice or a burrito as they walked around the Mal, three more intimate evening meals at quiet restaurants and one trip to the cinema. That had been Steve’s favourite date so far, not just because it had been his first time in a movie theatre since the 40s, but more so that he he’d enjoyed the feel of her as she leaned into him when he’d put his arm round the back of her chair, sharing popcorn, stolen quick kisses on the lips in the dark as they sat on the back row in between their bursts of hysterical laughter at the film. They had gone to see the third and final instalment of the Hangover trilogy, which Katie had been ridiculously excited about. She loved those films and Steve had to admit he agreed they were pretty good, as all three had made him laugh in places until tears rolled down his face. Movie and TV nights in their apartments had also turned into something special too as they snuggled down together, sharing snacks and personal space along with deep kisses that left him wanting a lot more… “Hey Sweetheart, come on up.”

He waited for her by the door and felt his breath catch as she emerged onto the landing from the stairs. She was wearing a blue and white LA Dodgers T-shirt, which was tight and finished just above her hips and clung to her chest flashing a strip of her toned stomach, tight grey jeans which fit snug to her ass and black baseball boots. Steve had seen her in all sorts of clothing items- jeans, tops, dresses…but never like this.

And fuck, she looked hot.

“Hi!” She greeted him with a huge smile and a gentle kiss, standing on her toes to meet his lips, before she stepped into the apartment and headed into the living room. Spotting the file on the coffee table she picked it up.

“What’s this?” She asked, opening it.

“A proposal from Fury. I’m going to be doing some videos, for high school kids..phys-ed classes that kinda thing.” “Videos?” “Yeah, apparently they get Celebrities to do them normally but they thought they’d use me this time.” Steve shrugged. “You’re not some kind of performing monkey they can trot out when they want.” She winkled her nose in distaste as she remembered those awful USO videos as she thumbed through the file. 

Steve smiled at her indignation on his behalf. “It’s only a couple of videos.” he assured her. 

“Hmm.” she dropped the file with disdain onto the table “Anyway, enough about that. You busy?” “When it comes to spending time with you? Never.”

“Oh that was smooth, Captain Badass!” She smirked and he gave her a quick shrug and a smile.

“What you got in mind?”

Grinning like a Cheshire cat she pulled out what looked like two tickets from her back pocket and suddenly it became apparent why she was dressed as she was.

“Are we…no, you’re kidding?” Steve couldn’t help the childish grin which flickered across his face “Baseball?” *****

“Oh what?” Katie cried out, jumping to her feet as the umpire made an atrocious decision for what felt like the 100th time, turning to Steve in disgust. “Is this guy blind or just really fucking dumb?”

Steve let out a snort, leaning back in his seat with his hand gesturing to the field. “Blind, he has to be. No one can be that stupid. I mean he’s been calling bad ones all game.”

Katie angrily dropped to her chair and Steve gestured to the vendor for two more beers. He passed one to Katie who hesitated as she took it.

“I bought the car.” She said, looking at him.

“Sweetheart,” he leaned over, kissing her cheek, “ridiculously fast metabolism, remember? I can’t get drunk. I’ll drive home…”

He handed over his money, waved away the little bit of change he would have received before he turned back to his girl who was pouting at him.

“The last time you drove Rainey you didn’t respect her. You drove her through a fuck tonne of puddles.”

“Doll, it’s a…”

“Er, she.” Katie looked at him. “She is not an it…”

Steve rolled his eyes. She was ridiculously attached to her Range Rover. He had to admit, as far as cars went it was pretty damned nice both to be driven in and to drive. White with black wheels and windows, and every gadget in it known to man. Mind you, he expected nothing else from the Starks.

“Ok, she is a damned four by four…” He raised an eyebrow for her. “They’re supposed to go off roading, so what’s a few puddles?”

“Off roading?” Katie spluttered, her eyes wide. “No! You’re so not driving her ever again.”

“Fine I’ll drink both of these then.” He shrugged, moving to take the beer he’d handed her back, and she moved it out of his reach, glaring at him. The desire to drink and have fun won out over protecting her car from a haphazard Captain who was on the sly a bit of a speed demon and probably never actually completed any kind of driving lesson in his life, let alone a test. She dug into her pocket and handed over her keys.

“One scratch and you’re a dead man.” She narrowed her eyes playfully.

“I’ll take good care of her.” He said solemnly, putting the keys into his pocket.

As the game progressed, despite his protestations that the LA Dodgers just weren’t his team, he found himself rooting for them and he was getting more and more frustrated at the current batters method. The guy was swinging it around with more force than Thor wielded his hammer and it wasn’t working. But just as Steve was about to let out another cry of frustration, the bat suddenly connected with the ball, and it was a good hit. Both Steve and Katie got to their feet shouting for the players to speed up and go for home. When they made it the pair both let out a loud cheer, and Steve hugged Katie, grinning wildly. At that moment, stood there, surrounded by strangers but with the girl who made him feel so grounded, he had never felt so normal since coming out of the ice, and he loved it. 

The rest of the innings passed far too fast, but at the end of the game, the Dodgers won, much to Katie’s delight. They joined the throng of people streaming out of the stadium hand in hand and Steve, still grinning like an idiot felt Katie tug on his hand.

“Shall we head for a drink?” She asked as he looked at her.

He nodded, tilting the peak of her cap back slightly and giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Sounds great.” And it was a great idea. Until they parked up, walked into the sports bar and spotted half of STRIKE in there round a table.

“Turn around.” Katie hissed with a groan and, just as they were about to do so, Rumlow yelled from the bar.

“Hey Cap, Nova…”

“Too late.” Steve muttered as Katie rolled her eyes and turned round.

“Fancy seeing you here!” Rumlow smiled and Katie shrugged.

“Yeah, small world, huh?”

“You want a beer, Cap?” Rumlow gestured to the bar and Steve nodded.

“Sure, thanks.”

“Stark, what do you…woah, what is this shit?” Rumlow pointed at her shirt and it didn’t escape Steve’s notice that the man’s gaze was lingering far too long on her boobs. He took a deep inhale, his fists clenching in his pockets as Katie let out a scoff.  

“This shit just kicked the Nationals asses!” she responded, jabbing Rumlow in his chest.

“Whatever man!” Rumlow shook his head. “Fucking Dodgers…” They didn’t have much option then but to join the rest of the team. Rumlow took the opportunity to eyeball Katie at every given opportunity and it was really starting to piss Steve off. At one time Katie looked up and caught Steve simply glaring at Rumlow, and in an attempt to keep him calm she gently squeezed his knee under the table. Steve was glad when it was his round, giving him an excuse to leave the table, Evans following to give him a hand.

“Enjoy your date?” Thee ginger haired man looked at Steve with a smirk.

“What?” Steve replied, a little too quickly. “I saw you and Stark kissing.” Evans popped a shoulder. “Outside the stadium. Don’t worry, no one else did.” Steve let out a sigh. It wasn’t like they were doing anything wrong, but he knew that Tony didn’t know yet and the pair of them were simply enjoying the early stages of a new relationship on their own before the inevitable tornado of interest hit once they did go public. Glancing at Katie who was talking to Rollins and Rumlow at their table, he turned back to Evans and dropped his voice slightly.

“We’re not deliberately keeping it from everyone, it’s just early days, don’t want everyone sticking their noses in, get what I’m sayin’?” “Secret’s safe with me.” Evans nodded. “Although I suspect it won’t be a secret for much longer if Rumlow keeps eye fucking your girl.”

Steve let out a snort as he took his change from the bar tender. “He’s a pain in the ass.” “Yeah well do me a favour, Cap.” Evans chuckled, picking up three of the glasses “When you do eventually snap and beat on him, make sure I’m there. Been waiting for someone to smack the shit outta him for years.”

****

Later that evening the coffee table at Katie’s apartment sported a number of empty plates, which had previously contained several frozen pizzas, and a good quantity of empty beer bottles. Katie was happily snuggled under Steve’s arm, curled against him and he was enjoying the closeness and comfortable silence that had fallen over them as they watched another ‘Game of Thrones’ episode. Katie had gotten him hooked on the fantasy programme and promised not to watch any of the latest season until he had caught up on the last two. As the episode finished he felt her stir and he didn’t want her to move, thankfully she didn’t too far, simply shifting her head slightly.

“So I never asked if you enjoyed yourself” She asked, looking up at him.

“Doll, it was amazing. Thank you.” “We should go more often” She mused “I haven’t seen a game live in years but I really enjoyed it.”

“You know what I didn’t enjoy?” He looked down at her, the soft light from the lamp illuminating her pretty face, highlighting the freckles spattered across her nose. “Sitting in that bar with Rumlow watching him looking at you.”

“Aww were you jealous?” She teased, sitting up.

“Not at all.” He shook his head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he recalled what Evans had said at the bar “Just don’t appreciate him eye fucking my girl.”

She let out a large snort before she looked at him, as her brain registered what he had just said.

“Your girl?” Her tone was teasing but the look in her eyes told him she was anything but, in fact she looked almost nervous. “Is that what I am?”

Steve hesitated, realising that he’d never actually asked her that question before. Was three weeks too soon? He had no idea. To him it wasn’t, he’d been waiting to be able to call her his for months now, but was he outside of modern day dating etiquette?

He looked at her and took a deep breath, before he swallowed and spoke quietly, the nerves making his stomach flip slightly. “Well I’m kinda hoping you wannabe. I mean, if it’s not too soon.”

“It’s not too soon, it’s not too soon at all.” She whispered as she looked back at him, her features soft, eyes alive in the dim light of the lamp. “Stevie, I already am.”

And that was it, his lips crashed onto hers and he was kissing her like he’d been wanting to kiss her all day, his arm curling tighter round her, pulling her close. Katie took the initiative, every inch of her body was on fire for him, and she wrapped her arms round his neck and pulled him down as she fell slowly backwards, sinking into the couch. The movement came as a not-entirely unwelcome surprise to Steve and he didn’t resist. Automatically his hands crept to her hips, settling just under the hem of her top as she placed both hands on his face, the pads of her finger tips cupping his jaw. She broke away this time to breathe, head laying back on the arm of the couch and he dropped his head, pausing his lips inches from her neck.

“Can I kiss you here?” He whispered softly. .

“God, yes.” Katie sighed and he obliged, pressing his mouth to her neck. He gripped her hips again and they gave a little jerk of their own accord, pushing up against him and they she let out a soft moan at the feeling of his crotch bumping against hers. At the noise Steve pulled back to stare at her again, almost as if he was needing her permission to carry on. Katie wordlessly answered by tilting her hips up again, causing him to give a little grunt as she did so, before he took a deep breath and swallowed.

“Doll, I don’t want to rush you or do anything-”

“It’s okay Steve,” Her voice was low and slightly breathy as she looked at him, her eyes, locking onto his. She wanted this, more than she’d wanted anything before. She pushed her head upwards, lips pressing back to his and her hands slid under his t- shirt. His muscles twitched at her touch as the sensation of her gently dragging her nails across his stomach sent a spike of desire, like a red hot poker through his entire body. At that point, something snapped inside him and he let out a growl and Katie paused, hands still on his stomach.

“Did you just growl at me?” Her eyes flashed, dark, a smirk on her face. She was enjoying the effect she had on him, and right now so was he.

“Yeah.” he nodded, simply.

Her smirk grew wider as she grasped the bottom of his T-shirt. He held his arms up so she pull it over his head, and once he was free, he glanced down to see Katie looking at his chest.

She’d never seen him topless before and she was momentarily stunned. She let her hands wander, tracing the lines of the flowing muscles and Steve let out another groan wanting to feel her skin against his. He interrupted her hands exploration by gripping her top and looked back at her, ever questioning. As means of an answer she moved her arms and sat up slightly to allow him to yank it up and off, her hair falling around her shoulders, his lips catching hers as he gently slipped one strap of her bra down at a time placing a soft kiss on each of her shoulders. Her breasts spilled over the tops of the lace lined cups and his groin twitched, the crotch of his jeans now painfully tight.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered gently, and then he kissed her again. Her fingers gently took his hands and she guided them onto her, sliding them up her rib cage to her chest and he obliged, boy did he oblige. Gently at first, softly squeezing and kneading the soft flesh and white lace, before his hand slid into the cups, teasing her taught nipples with his thumbs, acting completely on instinct, listening and watching her as she groaned gently, arching her back, her reaction telling him he was doing something right as all the time his groin bumped against hers.

Katie could feel the fabric of her underwear sliding in her jeans with every thrust of his hips against hers, that’s how wet she was. Steve was rocking hard against her and she buried her fingers in his hair, pulling sharply, forcing his head back, almost violently. As she tugged he let out another low growl and when she let go he stared down at her to see her smirking as she watched him, his pupils blown so wide there was hardly any blue left.

The rhythm of his hips was growing more frantic and their kisses were growing more desperate. “More,” she moaned into his mouth, and he gave her what she wanted, moving his hips even faster, rubbing against her in ways that had her clutching at his back like her life depended on it. Steve had never felt anything like this in his life. It was so good, so right, in a way nothing had ever felt so right before. This was a first for him, rutting up against someone fully clothed. Making out, Bucky had called it, but none of Steve’s bedroom experiences had ever entailed anything like this, and God, his head was a whirl of lust, desire, and he didn’t give a fuck about anything else at that moment other than her as she lay underneath him.

He started to lose his rhythm and he let out another groan as the tell-tale tightening across his lower stomach warned him he was fast approaching his release. This was too soon, he needed to get her there first. Clenching his teeth he desperately fought back the high as he pushed his hips down hard, making her gasp and claw at his back.

“Sweetheart, I’m close.” He breathed. “You almost there? Tell me your close baby, please?”

He needn’t have worried, at his words it was all she could do to moan brokenly and nod and his mouth fell to that spot on her neck which seemed to drive her wild. She tipped her head back as he gently nipped beneath her ear with his teeth and a few more thrusts of his hips against hers and she was done, fingers wrapped around his hair as the lights exploded in front her eyes and she felt the coil in her stomach unravelling as she came hard underneath him, hips bucking upwards, almost violently. Her voice was broken as she gasped out “Stevie…”and it was the single most beautiful sound he’d ever heard in his life. Her name for him, the name that no-one in this day and age called him other than her, tumbled from her lips and seeing and feeling her fall apart in his arms sent him over the edge right behind her in a pure surge of ecstasy. He fell forward, his arms shaking as he fought to keep his body up, not wanting to crush her under his weight. His head dropped forward, as he lowered himself ever so gently onto his elbows, his face pressing into the crook of her shoulder and she gently ran her fingers through his hair as they both breathed deeply as they waited to regain control of their bodies. Eventually both of them evened out and he raised his head to look at her, to find her smirking a little, her eyes twinkling with what looked like humour.

“What?” He managed to ask, his nose sliding against hers.

“I haven’t dry humped since I was about sixteen.” she said closing her eyes again with a smirk.

“Dry humped?” He snorted. “What-“

She laughed “Dry humping, making out, whatever. It’s been a while, Rogers.”

He felt himself chuckle again and she pressed a soft kiss to his lips, one of her hands running up and down his spine causing the muscles to gently twitch at her touch, neither of them in a hurry to move, but Steve’s arms were starting to hurt.

“You ok?” Katie looked at him, seeing the tension in his muscles and he nodded.

“Yeah, just, my arms.”

“Lay down.” Her hands moved to his biceps, gently trailing shapes on his skin.

“Doll, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I’m not made of glass, handsome. I promise you, it’ll be fine.”

Steve licked his lips and with a deep breath he lowered himself down gently, shifting and moving lower, pressing as little of himself to her as he could, despite the fact he could have happily smothered her to feel her body pressed against this. He closed his eyes and lay his head gently on her chest as she carded one hand through his hair, the other softly trailing down his neck and across his shoulders. Her touch was soothing, relaxing, loving even, and h felt himself beginning to doze off.

Katie was also growing sleepy, so she gently kissed his head and whispered a single word to him.

“Stay?”

It was a question to him, an invitation to stay with her that she was desperately hoping he’d take up.

He opened his eyes to blink lazily up at her. “Do you want me to?” he asked, his voice thick.

She nodded, “Let’s go to bed.”

He made to stand before he remembered his trouser predicament having just shot his load into them like a pubescent teenager and stilled, his cheeks flushing even more.

“I uh…I think I need to…”

“There’s some stuff of Tony’s in the spare room.” she said, looking at him cutting him off knowing exactly what the problem was because she was also in need of a clean-up “Should be a pair of sweats in there. Might be a bit short on you but…”

With another soft kiss, he pushed himself up off the couch before offering her his hand. She took it and he pulled her up, a little more forcefully than he had intended and she fell forwards, crashing into his chest.

“Steady on Soldier.” She grinned and he apologised, dropping a kiss to her forehead as his gaze once more dropped to her chest. With a certain glint in her eye she turned around, undid her bra and slipped it off before bending over in front of him, picking up his T-shirt from where she’d tossed it to the floor before heading over to the stairs.

Steve was hard again like it had never left.

After he had cleaned himself up and managed to calm himself down, he thrown on a pair of Tony’s sweatpants retrieved from the spare room and exited the main bathroom, heading to her room. She wasn’t asleep as he found out as he settled down in the bed next to her, and she moved to rest her head on his bare chest tangling her legs into his as his hand stroked her back, gently underneath his T’shirt, light fingers brushing her soft skin.

“This is mine…” He teased with a yawn as he tugged at the bottom of his shirt and she moved laying a soft kiss onto his lips.

“You can have it back tomorrow.” She said, laying her head back down on his chest. As her breathing grew even he felt himself start to drift off too, the warm feeling in his chest made him want to burst with happiness.

*****

When Steve woke the next morning it was peacefully. Katie had shifted positions through the night and now her back was to him pressed as close as she could get, he still had his arms around her, his face buried in her hair. She smelt so familiar and comfortable. As his sleepy brain reminded him of the previous night he smiled and felt a familiar twitch. He was hard, again, which wasn’t uncommon when waking up, but suddenly he felt her stir, and then he realised with horror that she was going to feel him poking her in the back.

It took Katie a few seconds to recall the night before, but when she felt a solid, warm wall of muscle pressed against her, a small hum of contentment rumbled in her throat as she pushed back further into him. They both lay there for a moment, silently, basking in the warmth and softness of each other before Katie turned over and looked up at him. Her face was devoid of any make up, not that she wore a lot anyway, but her freckles were more pronounced, clear skin was bright, cheeks flushed and her hair was tousled in waves around her shoulders. He reached out to tuck a long strand that had fallen over her cheek behind her ears, when she looked up at him, her eyes glinting.

He was about to wish her good morning, but before he could she kissed him, hard and fast, tongue tangling with his. And then she was straddling him, his head against the pillow, as her lips began to trail down his chest. By the time his sleep and lust addled brain had caught up with what was going on, she had reached her destination and had flipped the waist band of the sweats he was wearing down, taking his erection firmly in one hand, making him hiss slightly.

His size had taken Katie slightly by surprise, although she knew with retrospect it shouldn’t have. She looked up and locked eyes with him before she gave him one final smirk and took him in her mouth. Steve panicked for a second, this had never happened to him before, his hands flying to the bed sheets either side of his waist, but it wasn’t for long, as all worry flew out of his mind as she began to work him.

From the noises he was making Katie knew he was enjoying himself. Which was her aim. After a short while, she pulled off of him to suck at the tip and worked her hands over the rest of his length. When she glanced up at him, he had his head thrown back against the pillow, face contorted in utter pleasure. She continued to lick, suck, and when she pulled away slightly to suck at the sensitive tip, working the rest of his length with her hands he let out a loud groan and he looked at her. Her eyes locked onto his and he felt that tell-tale warmth rising in his groin and stomach.

“Katie, sweetheart, shit.” His voice was raspy from desire and the fact it was morning and Katie was beyond aroused at the sound as he babbled the first words either of them had spoken since waking. “I’m gonna-” his words caught in his mouth as she took him in hers again, this time all the way to the back of her throat. At that, he was gone, his fingers gripped her hair tight the other clutched at the bedsheets, noises escaping him that he’d never heard before as he spilled himself down her throat and slumped back completely blissed out.

Katie rolled onto her side watching, as he finally opened his eyes and looked down at her.

“Morning, Handsome.”  She grinned and he felt himself chuckle.

“Morning, Gorgeous.” he said, still fighting to control his breathing.

“You want breakfast?” She asked, leaning over to peck him on the lips. He hummed a response and she smiled once more before climbing out of bed. Steve watched her head into the bathroom and found himself thinking that as far as mornings went, he’d had worse.

She emerged a few moments later, her hair slightly less wild, and she was still in his T-shirt, which fell to midway down her toned thighs, giving him a better look at that intriguing tattoo that adorned her right which he still hadn’t seen in full properly. She flashed him a smile, fully aware he was looking her up and down, and then she left without a word, clearly with no intentions of getting dressed fully yet. Which was fine by him.

Katie turned the radio on and set about making coffee, singing softly to herself as she replaced the filter paper. She tossed in a liberal amount of Columbian Roast and was just pouring two mugs when Steve, who was now out of bed, appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. She smiled at him and slid a mug of the coffee over the island where the creamer and sugar already lay waiting and he took it with a thanks.

“How hungry are you?” she asked and he arched an eyebrow over the top of the mug and she gave a laugh. “Sorry, dumbass question. Fancy pancakes and fruit?”

“Don’t got to any trouble, Doll.” He began to protest but she shook her head.

“It’s no bother, I can whip up a batter in five minutes.”

Turning away from him, she reached up into the cupboard for the flour and the T-shirt she was wearing rode up slightly giving Steve a perfect view of her ass which was clad in black lace panties. The fraying tendrils of self-control he had been holding onto snapped completely and stood up from the stool he’d been perched on, right hand still clutching his coffee. He rounded the island in three long strides and placed the mug down on the counter beside her, his hands falling to her hips and he gently spun her to face him. She giggled slightly before his lips met hers and he reached down and cupped her ass in both hands picking her up easily and setting her down on the counter.

“Something got you worked up Captain?” She teased, looking up at him. Last night had clearly unlocked something in the Soldier, and she was liking what she was seeing, and feeling.  

“Yeah, the sight of you wearing nothing but a pair of panties and my t-shirt…” He said raising an eyebrow as he reached for his mug again, taking another drink, trying to play it cool. But it wasn’t working clearly, as she simply laughed and slid both arms around his neck as she leaned in to kiss him again. His free hand slid to her thigh, tracing a path up until, just as he had reached the bottom of her panties, they were interrupted by the sound of the lift doors opening.

“Hey Kiddo, you in?” Steve and Katie exchanged a look, utter horror spreading from Steve’s head to his toes as Tony’s voice hit his ears.

“Kiddo?” he shouted again. “I can smell coffee, you in the kitchen?”

“Shit…” Katie said as she gently pushed Steve backwards, jumping down from the counter, adjusting the T-shirt. Steve was now a shade of crimson pretty much from his neck upwards as he desperately tried to rearrange his pants to hide his once more ebbing arousal. She debated telling Steve to hide in the bedroom but there was no way he’d get across the open plan living space to the stairs without Tony seeing him.

They were well and truly caught.

As she clocked the utter horror on Steve’s face she was suddenly overcome with giggles at how ridiculous the entire situation was. A super soldier and a SHIELD agent, both of them having faught aliens, deadly terrorists and weapons traders, were stood in her kitchen panicking about being busted fooling around by her brother.

“So, the damned board meeting was cancelled which would have been fine had I not already been on the jet over, so I thought seeing as I now in town with nothing to do we could hang for the day or if you’re too busy at least have breakfast…” Tony’s voice was getting louder as he walked through the apartment.

Steve looked at her in utter astonishment as she began to laugh now because frankly he couldn’t think of a single thing that was funny about this situation if he tried. Her laughter didn’t stop even as her brother walked into the kitchen, his brown eyes flashing from his sister to Steve and their various state of undress, a look of utter horror on his face as he processed the implications.

“Oh you have gottta be fucking kidding me…” Tony muttered, dropping the box he was carrying onto the kitchen counter. “Please tell me there’s a perfectly innocent explanation for this…” “Explanation yes, innocent…not so much.” Katie said through her laughter and Steve let out a groan. This was not how he wanted Tony to find out.  “Don’t you know how to buzz Dickwad, before just walking into my apartment?”

“I have a key…” “For emergencies…” she shot back. “Stop changing the subject.” Tony demanded his eyes flashing dangerously and Katie folded her arms and tilted her chin up defiantly.

“Look, this isn’t a big deal, Tony…”

“No, this…this is a very big deal…” he snapped back as he looked from her to Steve, every line on his face was contorted with anger and shock.

Steve took a deep breath and placed his mug down on the side. “Tony…” he began trying to placate the billionaire but he was cut off.

“What, you gonna tell me this aint what it looks like?” he shook his head. “That Captain America isn’t banging my little sister? I might be like nearly 60 years younger than you old man but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

Steve took a breath, his nostrils flaring at Tony’s snipe.

“Tony, I’m 29 next week, I can do what or who I like” Katie snapped at him “And besides you’ve no room to talk, the amount of times I’ve walked in on you and whichever bimbo you decided to bring home that night…”

“That is completely different!” Tony spluttered.

“No it isn’t” she shot back, hands going to her hips.

Tony’s eyes locked onto hers, before he looked back at Steve who held his gaze evenly, before the dark haired man shook his head and looked at the super soldier.

“Can you go and put some clothes on please, frankly the amount of flesh on show is disturbing me.” “Well I would but your sister is still wearing my shirt.” Steve shot back, his temper rising. Tony gave another growl and then he stopped, open mouthed.

“Are those my sweats?” He spluttered, his voice practically a squeak.

“Yes.” Katie replied simply, and at that point she grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him out of the room and up the stairs. The initial humour she had found in the situation had ebbed away and now she was livid at her brother.

“He is…” she started, opening the various drawers to pull out a hooded top. Taking Steve’s T-shirt off, as she threw it over the bed to him. “The biggest hypocrite going…”

“To be fair I can kinda see it from his point of view…” Steve said shrugging on his T-shirt and making a point of averting his eyes as she strode over to her dresser, naked bar her panties.

She pulled on a hoody and narrowed her eyes at Steve. “Don’t defend him…”

He chuckled and crossed the room, walking round the bed. “I’m not.” he placed a peck on her lips “But I do think that I should go, let you talk to him alone…”

“Yeah, probably for the best…” she breathed out a sigh and followed him down the stairs where he retrieved his sneakers.

“Wait, do you wanna take my car or…” He gestured up and down his body, and she took in his trainers, slightly too short joggers and a T-shirt “Nah, Baby Girl, I’ll run.” She smiled at the term of endearment that he hadn’t used before then, as he dropped a kiss to her cheek.

“I’ll call you later.” He promised, before disappearing in the elevator.

Katie took a deep breath and walked back into the kitchen. Tony eyed her from where he was leaning against the counter, mug of coffee in his hand.

“Don’t start.” Katie warned him, to no avail

“Oh I’m gonna!” Tony spat, before he paused and looked around “Where is the Star Spangled Ass-hole?”

“Gone home.” Katie folded her arms.

Tony snorted “I bet he has…” “You know I don’t remember me reacting like this every time you brought a girl home, which from my recollection happened quite a lot.” Katie sniped back, as she walked to where he was stood by the coffee pot and reached round him to pour herself a fresh mug.

“That..that was different…” Tony stammered at her back as she walked to the counter for the creamer.

“How so?”

“Because, well, it’s him…” he whined “I mean, seriously? Of all the men in the world…”

“Yeah because the last one worked out so great…” Katie said sarcastically, replacing the carton down with a slightly harsh action, causing some to spill over the top.

The room fell silent bar the chink of the spoon on the edge of her pink unicorn mug as she stirred in sugar and milk. She took a sip of her drink and turned to face her brother who was hunched over the counter slightly, eyes on his mug. Eventually he straightened up and met his sister’s eyes before he spoke again, this time his voice was softer.

“How long?” he asked,

“Three weeks, give or take.”

“Three weeks, and I’m only just finding out?” “Yes, Tony.” she groaned, with the air of someone talking to a small child “And your reaction is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.”

To be fair, Steve was right. It wasn’t an ideal way for him to find out, but she knew the reaction from Tony wasn’t about her being caught, it was about her being caught with Steve. The two men got on okay, which hadn’t always been the case, but after the battle of New York Steve had spent a lot of time with them both at the tower. Tony was still a little reserved with Steve, more so due to the fact that Captain America was someone their dad had idolised but, whilst the two men were immensely different, there was a mutual respect between them and Katie was hoping now that that was going to be enough for Tony to be reasonable about the situation.

“Please don’t kick off about this. I care about him, a lot.” She said gently, looking at her brother, appealing to his better nature and the fact that she knew he would want her to be happy.

And sure enough, that was exactly what Tony asked as he looked at her.

“Does he make you happy?”

“More than anything.” she replied honestly. “I really like him Tony, I want this to work.”

Tony studied her face for a moment before he let out a deep sigh, looking away. “Damned it.” He groaned “I can’t believe I’m going to have to have the Shovel Conversation with Captain America.”

In the silence that followed Katie debated pointing out that Steve wouldn’t be frightened in the slightest of Tony’s various threats anyway, but who was she to rob her brother of his opportunity to try and protect her?  Instead she placed her mug on the counter and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Tony who sighed again and reciprocated the gesture.

“Suppose he is an improvement on Agent Shitweasel” he said, resting his chin on her head.

“That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement.” she snorted.

*****

Steve was reading a book in his lounge when Katie messaged him later that afternoon. Apparently Tony had calmed down enough to take her for lunch at some Italian place in the Business District following which they’d had a walk round the city together before Tony had left to go back to New York. Steve was pleased, he knew that despite the fact that he drove her insane at times, she loved the bones of her brother which was why his reaction before had pissed her off. He messaged back, telling her he was glad she’d had a good time and that he would call her later before he picked his book back up, but he’d only managed another chapter or so before there was a buzz on his intercom.

“Rogers, it’s me.”

Steve sighed “Come on up.”

He wasn’t surprised Tony was on his doorstep, he’d been half expecting it. And, judging from the lack of stupid nickname, no Spangles, no Capsicle, no Old Man, he wasn’t here to exchange pleasantries. A fact that was confirmed when Stark didn’t wait for Steve to invite him in, he simply pushed past the door into his flat and stalked inside, glancing around.

“You can tell Kiddo helped you decorate and furnish this gaff, far too modern to be your doing. There’s no Dig for Victory posters or wind up radios…” Tony said, causing Steve to roll his eyes “Holy shit, is that an original Dekka?”

“Katie said you’d like that” Steve watched the inventor cross the room and run his hands across the sleekness of the record player’s casing. “But I have a feeling you didn’t come here to admire my music equipment.”

“Perceptive” Tony turned to face him, his eyes flashing. Steve took a deep breath.

“Tony, I…” “No, you don’t get to talk, you get to listen. And you better listen good.” the billionaire cut him off “Katie was heartbroken when Agent Shitweasel did the dirty on her. She came home and I held her as she cried herself to sleep for 2 goddamned weeks before she shipped out to New Mexico… ”

“Tony…”Steve began, knowing already where this conversation was going. He wanted to assure Tony that he would never do what Ward had done, ever. But Tony ignored him.

“I hated him.” Tony said “he was an absolute dickhead with her at times and she changed because of it.  And then, after New York she seemed to go back to being her old self. She was laughing, socialising…and that was down to you” Tony looked at the Super Soldier, who cocked his head slightly to the right as he listened, a small smile tugging at his lips “ She had a friend, something she hasn’t had much time for since my little sioree in an Afghan cave, my bad, and for the first time in ages I can see she’s over it, you know…” he took a deep breath and Steve waited for him to finish “But Katie puts her heart into everything, and I gotta ask Cap, is this serious for you or you just after getting your dick wet?”

“What? No, of course it’s serious for me Tony…” Steve said, his temper flaring slightly at his crass tone. “I can’t believe you think that little of me that you had to even ask me that!”

“Oh get off your high horse, Rogers!” Tony shook his head, and Steve raised his eyebrows “This has nothing to do with what I think of you, this is about my sister…you know the girl I brought up from the age of 7.  The girl I couldn’t love any more if she was my own. I’d die for her you got that? Die for her!”

“Well that makes 2 of us!” Steve said loudly, silencing the other man. There was a moment where no sound was heard in the apartment bar the ticking of the clock on the wall and Tony raised his eyebrows slightly as Steve looked down at the floor taking a deep breath.

“Look, I know you’re not happy about this…” Steve sighed, looking at Tony again “But do I care about her Tony, more than you know, and nothing you do or say to me is gonna change that.”

Tony’s eyes softened, but his jaw remained set. Steve took a deep breath and wet his lips before he continued.  “And, for what it’s worth, I think you did a damned good job of raising her. She’s an incredible woman.”

“She’s a pain in the ass…” Tony sniffed, Steve was glad to hear his tone was less confrontational “And she’s stubborn, always thinks she knows best…”

“Wonder where she gets that from?” Steve said cheekily

“Absolutely no idea” Tony deadpanned back.

Steve’s face cracked into a smile as did Tony’s.

“Look.” Tony sighed, “I just want her to be happy and with someone that treats her right…”

“I don’t ever want to hurt her, Tony. You have my word…” Steve said, honestly.

“Good, because if you do, make no mistake I will fucking kill you, slowly and painfully and there will be no defrosting 70 years down the line.” Tony’s brown eyes flashed slightly as he stared at Steve, And Steve knew, absolutely 100% that he meant it. He was surprised to find himself slightly unnerved by the threat. Hoping that his face didn’t give him away her merely nodded and then Tony’s demeanour changed completely and he turned back into the Tony Stark that Steve knew, and had to admit quite liked after all.

“Good, this was a good talk…” Tony said, clapping Steve on the shoulder.

Steve smiled as the weight he hadn’t even realised he’d been carrying was lifted off his shoulder. Having Tony’s, albeit grudging, approval would mean the world to Katie, and if he was honest, it meant a lot to him as well. Not only was Tony his friend also, but he was the closest thing Katie had to a father, and he wanted him to be alright with the fact the two of them were together.

He offered the man a coffee which he politely declined, stating he needed to get back to New York. The two shook hands on the threshold of Steve’s door before Tony gave him one last look, raising his index finger and middle finger of his right hand to his eyes, before turning them to point at Steve in an “I’m watching you” gesture. Steve raised his eyebrows in understanding and felt his mouth tug upwards at the side as Tony turned on his heels and left.

He retreated back to his living room and pulled out his phone.

“Hey Badass” Katie greeted and Steve chuckled.

“I’ve just had a visitor.” Katie groaned into the phone as he sat back on his couch

“Let me guess… my darling brother turned up to give you the shovel talk?” her tone was exasperated. “No mention of a shovel, just threatened to kill me slowly and painfully if I hurt you, and you know what? I have absolutely no qualms about the fact he would.” Steve grinned as he spoke.

“Don’t tell me Captain America is scared of Iron Man?” she questioned playfully. “No, Steve Rogers is slightly disconcerted by Tony Stark.” He corrected as she let out a chuckle.

“Best make sure you don’t hurt me then aint ya?” “I’ve no intentions of doing doll.” He said, honestly before he let out a breath, smiling “I really enjoyed last night.”

“And this morning?”

“Yeah, another first.” He said, unable to stop the smirk on his face spreading into his voice “I’ve never, errr, had a woman use her mouth on me before…or vice versa for that matter.”

“I like being your first.” she said softly and his chest warmed at her words.

“You know what else was a first? Waking up next to my girl.”

There was a pause before she replied, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

“And you know what else I like? You calling me your girl.”

A shit eating grin crept back across the Captains face. “Well, you better get used to it, Doll.”

**** Chapter 7

**Original Posting**

[justthehiddleswrites]

Follow My Lead | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 4 | I don’t think you are supposed to giggle at Tolstoy.

A/N: This will update every Thursday.  There are 13 chapters.  There are all sorts of kinds of D/s relationships.  This is the one I choose to write this time.  

MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Vivian Swann)

Summary: Tom and Vivian have both been unlucky in love, searching for something outside of the bounds of a typical relationship.  When the two of them connect via a dating app, Tom is introduced to the idea of being submissive to Vivian.  Which is the one thing he never knew he needed.  Under the firm hand of Vivian, Tom learns what it means to submit and Vivian learns what it means to be in a loving dominant relationship.  But not everyone seems to understand what they have and the best intentions can destroy the strongest relationship.

Warnings for story: Dominant/submissive relationship (sub!Tom), lots of smut including but not limited to: vaginal sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), edging, denial, teasing, use of restraints, spanking, multiple orgasm, anal play, use of toys.

Tag Lists Are Open!  Let me know if you want to be added.  Thank you for reading!

-

Tom slept like a rock that night. The best night’s sleep in a long time. He dreamed of Vivian, kneeling on his chest, kissing him, teasing him, biting him. And he woke that morning with his cock hard and leaking. He stroked himself as he thought about Vivian. But not in the way he usually did. Instead of fantasizing of her touching him, sucking his cock, jerking him off, Tom closed his eyes and imagined his lips on Vivian’s folds and clit. Her hands in his hair tugging his head where she wants it. Vivian moaning in response to his touch, his tongue. As her pleasure increases, Tom’s motions in real life increased. Tom came with a soft gasp, spurting along his torso. He panted, trying to catch his breath. Once he regained his composure, he headed to the shower to clean himself up and go for a jog.

-

Vivian rapped her nails on the desk in her flat. Her email open on the screen. She was drafting the proposed protocols for Saturday to Tom, and she contemplated on how far to push him. So far, Tom exceeded all Vivian’s expectations. Which worried her. In the past, all men have been eager to please, at first. But once the shiny new wore off, and the men realized the relationship wasn’t about her fulfilling their fantasies of kinky sex and it was about surrendering to her authority, they ran. Sometimes without further word. It wasn’t the incompatibility that bothered Vivian, but the coldness in which they communicated it. As though she was without feeling or emotion. This caused her to assign the reading at the beginning, to move more cautiously. And she wasn’t sure if her heart could handle a rejection from Tom.

With a sigh, she typed out to Tom:

This is a date for the sole purpose of kissing. No food, no drink, no chitchat, no reading, no hanging out.

In short: Kissing, petting, stroking and all the things come along with that- yes. Talking, sex, orgasms- no.

Here is a list of what may happen, not what will happen. If anything bothers you or off limits, let me know.

- Kissing, obviously. Let me know of any spots that are off limits.

- Shirt off

- Pants off (underwear on)

-Nudity (you, not me)

- Kneeling

- Blindfold

- Light bondage (cuffs- both wrists and ankles, tied to the bed)

- Biting

-Bruises on your body (both in places normally covered by clothing and places it would be visible such as the neck)

- All over body touching (let me know of body parts off limits)

- All over body licking (same as above)

- Roles reversed (you touching/licking me)

- Hands around your throat (gentle not choking)

- Hair pulling

- Fingers in your mouth (not gagging)

- Body-slapping

- Pinching

And I think I covered everything. Wear a button-down (I like when you undo the top few buttons) and jeans or slacks. Send me a photo of what your current underwear options are. I will send you your address that morning. I expect you at 7.

Vivian

She smiled as she re-read the email. She buzzed with anticipation at the possibilities of Saturday night. Vivian was certain she would cuff and restrain Tom, and not just because he had the tendency to squirm underneath her. She suspected it would push a button and was eager to test her theory. She hit click and headed off to work.

-

Tom was eating breakfast, having finished his morning run when his phone dinged with a new email from Vivian. He read through her email and swallowed hard. The list was extensive. He re-read before finishing up breakfast and heading upstairs and digging through his underwear drawer. Tom had three options laid out on the bed. He snapped a photo of them laid out on the bed. He examined the photo, unhappy.

“Might as well.” he commented to himself as he stripped down and pulled on the first pair, navy boxers.

Tom stood in front of the full-length mirror in the closet and snapped a photo. He hated to admit he may have flexed a bit in the photo. He repeated the process with the white underwear briefs, and the black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Pleased with the photos, Tom typed back to Vivian.

Wow, that is quite the comprehensive list. I appreciate the thoroughness and the bullet points. I am not scheduled for any meetings until Wednesday, so any marks will have faded by then. My feet are ticklish. Probably shouldn’t tell you that. ;) And I would rather not have my armpits or the inside of my ears licked. Otherwise, I am game for whatever you want.

I have attached photos of the underwear, per your request. And if there is anything else I can do to be of service, please let me know, ma’am.

Your sunshine boy,

Tom

He attached the photos and sent the email and then returned to dressing for the day, flopping on the bed to return the last two books on his list before starting his essay.

-

Vivian was pleased Tom modeled the underwear rather than just lay them out of the bed. She probably would have directed him to model them. She wrinkled her nose at the first pic and flicking through the rest.

Black boxer briefs. Burn or throw away the tighty whities. If I find a pair in your home, I will punish you. Let’s change our night time call to 9:00 p.m. from now on. I hate keeping you up so late.

She placed the phone down on her desk. It buzzed almost immediately.

Consider them burned. 9 p.m. works for me, although I don’t mind waiting up if it means I get to hear your voice. :) I shall wait with bated breath until Saturday.

-

The rest of the day seemed to fly by for both of them and before long, Tom was settled into bed with both his books of collected poetry and Anna Karenina. He called on time and Vivian asked for him to read more of Tolstoy. He started doing voices of the characters, in particular an exaggerated Russian accent for Levin and Vronsky.

“I don’t think you are supposed to giggle at Tolstoy.” Vivian commented after one particularly dramatic passage.

“I’m a full service entertainer. Comedy, drama, action, romance.” Tom teased back.

“What about erotica?” she teased right back, her voice low.

Tom paused. “For you? Without question.” She could hear the hesitation, fear, and excitement in his voice. She hoped it would remain.

Vivian sighed. “I think it is enough reading for tonight. I want you to get a good night’s rest for tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am.” he responded.

“Goodnight, Tom, my sunshine.”

“Goodnight, Vivian.”

They ended the call, and both drifted off to sleep.

-

Vivian attended her weekly blowout appointment, not realizing Tom spent the day as a bundle of nerves. He ran ten miles hoping to burn off excess energy. It didn’t work. The only thing he did was finish the last of the books from Vivian’s list. The fastest ever read through anything in some time. He was too distracted to write his essay, thought swirling in his brain. Tom wants it to be perfect. He wants everything to be perfect for Vivian.

Tom must have tried on at least six different shirts, each discarded on the bed as unsuitable. He settles on a soft, well worn light blue shirt. One of his favorites. The collar is fraying at the corners, which is why he doesn’t wear out as much anymore, favoring instead newer but less comfortable shirts. He grabbed a pair of jeans only to notice a hole on the inside of the thigh and discarded them also on the bed, grabbing a different pair. Tom left the top two buttons undone, a calculated air of casual. A quick dab of cologne and then he waited, not wanting to arrive too early.

-

After her morning errands, Vivian ate a light lunch and set about preparing her flat for Tom. She made up the bed with fresh linens and double checked the restraint points on the posts. She hadn’t decided on a leg position, so Vivian placed straps on all the corners as well as the point in the middle. Vivian opened the nightstand and retrieved the cuffs, adjusting them and placing them prominently in the foyer on a table. Cuffing Tom would be among the first things she did that night. In addition, she laid out a blindfold on the nightstand and put a bottle of water there too. After bathing, she slipped into a simple silk tank and striped shorts. She wore the same wedges as before. Vivian enjoyed looking Tom in the eye while standing and kissing. A quick dab of perfume behind the ears and settled on the couch, watching some TV waiting for Tom.

He knocked on her door, ten minutes early. Acceptably early without fear of being so early that he disturbed preparations.

“I couldn’t wait any longer.” Tom commented.

Vivian giggled. His eagerness was endearing. “I’ll allow it. Come in.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He stepped into her flat, looking around in wonder. Vivian grabbed him by the chin and kissed him hard.

“Do you still remember your word, sunshine?”

“Yes.” Tom is already breathing hard. “Sushi.”

She smiled and slid her hand down around Tom’s neck. His Adam’s apple moving underneath her palm. His eyes widened in fear. Vivian kissed him again. He leaned forward when she stepped back. She walked around him, fingers tracing the planes of his body, his broad shoulders, defined pecs and abs. Vivian gave his ass a playful swat. Tom yelped and staggered forward.

“Such a nice ass, sunshine.” She growled in his ear, grabbing it with her nails.

“Thank you, ma’am.” his voice shook. He wasn’t used to being manhandled, and his cock appreciated the rough touch.

“Shirt and pants off.” She stepped back to watch him undressed.

Tom’s cheeks blushed. He had been nearly nude in a room of strangers before, but under Vivian’s glare, he never felt so exposed. Tom tugged his shirt over his head, not bothering to undo the buttons this time. He folded the shirt, placing it on the nearby table while he slipped his shoes and socks off, and slipping his jeans down his lean legs. Vivian licked her lips at Tom in his underwear. While the man appeared fit clothed, he was something carved from marble without the clothes. He flashed a lopsided smile as he placed his jeans on top of his shirt and folding his hands in front of him, obscuring his crotch.

“God, you are beautiful.” Vivian hissed as she stepped forward to kiss him again. Tom hummed back at the praise, his body growing warm. She nipped at his lower lip, nibbling rather than biting, sending shocks through his body. “Wrists, please.”

Vivian moved to the table. Tom’s arms shot out. She grabbed the leather cuffs and put them on. Tom jerked back his arms.

“What are those?” His brows furrowed.

“Cuffs. Wrists.” Her tone sharp. Tom hesitated, his mouth opening to protest. “Sunshine, wrists.” she snapped.

“Yes, ma’am.” He reluctantly held out his wrists. She tightened the cuffs, making sure they wouldn’t chafe.

Tom twisted his wrists back and forth, testing out the weight and listening to the rings thudding against the thick leather. Vivian kissed him again, hands sliding down his torso. His cock jumped. She grabbed the back of his neck and led him towards the bedroom. Tom gulped at the blindfold and straps.

“Ah…” he started before being cut off by Vivian’s lips on his neck. “Oh!” he moaned. She laved and sucked hard, removing her lips with a pop, satisfied at the dark mark already formed.

“On the bed, sunshine. On your back.” Tom scrambled onto the bed, lying flat on his back. As Vivian slipped the cuffs on Tom’s ankles, he jerked back. She raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, ma’am.”

“Good boy.”

She slipped her shoes off and then hooked his ankle cuffs to the straps in the middle of the bed. As Vivian strolled to the head of the bed, she ran a nail up Tom’s leg. He jerked against the restraints. She grabbed his arm and clipped it onto the strap before crawling onto the bed, reaching over to clip in the other side, her breasts grazing Tom’s body. His hips bucked.

“So squirmy, sunshine. Best I did tie you up.” Vivian straddled his chest, pushing him into the mattress. “I can’t let you get away just yet.” She pressed against his lips softly, earning a sigh. Her teeth worried his lower lip.

“Ow.” he mock protested.

Nevertheless, Vivian let go of his lip and trailed down his neck. She licked the bruise from earlier before moving down to his collarbone. Vivian sucked and nipped, leaving the twin to the neck’s bruise there. She smiled at her handiwork. Tom struggled against the restraints.

“They have held stronger men than you, sunshine.” Vivian dragged her nails down his sides, leaving faint lines. As she settled by his hips, Tom’s cock pressed against her. Tom huffed and puffed as she kissed his Adonis belt, scraping her teeth along his skin from time to time. Her hands stroked along his thighs and he flexed under her touch.

She slid off of Tom’s body, and he whined at the lack of contact. Vivian rolled back on top of Tom, lying along his full body like a blanket. Tom sighed at the weight and contact. She pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to his heart race. She snaked a hand to the back of his head and jerked his head sideways before kissing him. Tom met her lips with hunger and he whimpered each time she pulled away, only to tug him towards her again. He strained against the restraints, desperate to touch her, to pull her tight against him and rut against her. His tongue slipped into her mouth, needy, exploring every inch. He moaned as Vivian’s grip tightened on his hair, hurting, but he wanted more.

Vivian could sense Tom coming close to overheating, making a mess and complicating the hell out of this. His cock strained, hard and weeping. She pulled away, holding his lower lip between her teeth as long as possible, stretching it.

“Ow.” Tom muttered.

Vivian slid down to press against Tom’s side. She cupped her cheek before gently kissing behind Tom’s ear. Tom moaned softly from the back of his throat. Her fingers twisted into his hair and she massaged his scalp. Tom’s shoulders relaxed and his hands loosened from the fists. As she scratched and petted him, he leaned into her touch, his breath slowing to a deep and even pace. He closed his eyes, enjoying the soft touch.

“You are so beautiful, my sunshine.” She cooed at him. Her other finger tracing his jaw and cheekbone. “So pretty.” She kissed his cheek and stroked his chest.

“Thank you, ma’am.” His voice breathy and floaty.

Vivian reached over and unhooked Tom’s wrist. She turned and unhooked his other wrist. Tom didn’t move. She stood to unhook his ankles.

“Legs up, please.” Tom lifted his legs into the air. Vivian undid the cuffs, rubbing the skin and massaging it. She kissed the top of his feet and Tom giggled and squirmed. “You weren’t joking about being ticklish.”

“No, ma’am.” He slowly floated back to reality.

“Sit up, please.” Tom rocked up, his hair a rumpled mess, and held out his wrists. Vivian smoothed out his hair and held the back of his neck while she kissed his cheek and lips a few more times. She released him and unbuckled the wrist cuffs, rubbing his wrists and kissing each one and placed them on the nightstand and grabbed the water bottle, handing it to Tom.

“Thank you.” He opened the bottle and took a large swig. Vivian smoothed his hair back one more time.

“Let’s go get dressed, sunshine.” He sighed, taking another swig of water before standing. Vivian slipped her wedges back on and walked beside Tom, rubbing his neck the entire time. “I was a bit rough on you. Are you okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” His voice quiet while he grabbed his jeans and tugged them on before pulling on his shirt, tucking it and zipping up.

“How did it feel? I imagine you are used to being treated with kid gloves.”

Tom pulled on his socks and shoes, working on finding the right words.

“I don’t quite know how it felt.” Tom replied, a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “But I know I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t mind the pain. I wanted to touch you and make you feel as good as you made me feel.”

Vivian smiled and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight. “Sunshine, I feel good. I received great pleasure at teasing you.” She kissed him. “With my mouth. And watching you squirm and hearing you purr.” She petted the back of his head. “But I appreciate your desire to please me physically. And you will when the time comes.”

Tom stared at her with his endless blue eyes. “When will that be, ma’am?”

“When you’re ready, Sunshine.” She kissed his cheek. “You still haven’t finished your homework first.”

Tom’s hands fidgeted, twisting in front of him. “I finished all the books. I plan on starting the essay tomorrow.” He stared at the floor. “I want it to be perfect.”

“As long as it is from your heart it will be, my sunshine boy.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I don’t ask for perfection, just effort.”

Tom nodded and squeezed her hand back. “Yes, ma’am.”

She walked him to the door, kissing him one more time. “Call me in the morning when you wake up.”

Tom nodded. “Thank you for tonight.”

“You are welcome. The pleasure was mine.”

Tom smiled and kissed Vivian’s cheek and headed out. She clicked the door shut and set about cleaning up the place. Tom came home and ate a sandwich before turning in early that evening, his brain still fuzzy.

-

As requested, Tom called in the morning, still in bed, to check in with Vivian. It pleased her that outside of the marks on his neck and collarbone, Tom was no worse for wear. Tom left out the part of the dreams he had or the fact he woke up with a raging hard on which Tom took care of in the shower, skipping his run for thirty minutes on his long neglected rowing machine.

Tom lazed about for most of the morning, having something akin to a hangover without the benefit of being drunk beforehand. As he sat down at this computer to start his essay for Vivian, there was a knock on the door. He groaned as he trudged to see who would dare disturb his lazy Sunday.

A smiling Benedict greeted him at the door. When he saw Tom in workout gear, he frowned.

“You’re not dressed!” he complained.

“For what?” Tom blinked back at him. He didn’t recall making plans.

“Lunch!” Benedict stepped in the foyer. “We made plans weeks ago. I’ll wait for you to change.”

Tom was ready to protest, but Ben crossed his arms and it was clear he wasn’t leaving without Tom. With a huff, Tom discarded his clothes into the bedroom which now had a small pile of discarded and dirty clothes, and grabbed an old gray v neck t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Shoving his feet into a pair of boots, Tom stomped back to Ben, pushing past him.

“Let’s go.” Tom grumbled.

Tom’s mood improved once he ordered some food and got half a pint into his system. Benedict stared at him, squinting.

“What?” Tom asked, still irritated.

“What is that on your neck?” He pointed at Tom’s neck. Tom twisted it, and then Ben spied the second mark on his collarbone. “And your chest? Were you attacked?”

Tom touched his collarbone and remembered. He blushed. “It’s nothing. Forget it.” He gulped down the other half of his pint and stood. “Let me go get another round.”

Benedict held out his arm to stop Tom. “It’s like you were bitten by someth… Oh… OH!” The lightbulb went off. “Things going well with Vivian?”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Yes.” He sidestepped Ben’s arm and grabbed another pint before returning to the table.

“Care to share?” He prodded.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Moving on.” Tom grew more homicidal by the second.

Benedict clapped his hands together. “Remember how Sophie wrangled me into serving on the children’s hospital charity board?”

“Yes.” Tom saw the Cheshire Cat grin on Ben’s face. “No. No! I went last year and got cornered by that old lady who kept calling me ‘Henry’.”

“It was endearing.”

“It was ridiculous.”

“There’s an open bar.”

“Hard pass.”

“I have two tickets. You can bring Vivian.”

Tom stared at his friend. “I am not introducing you to Vivian.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like her and I’m afraid you will scare her off.”

Benedict scoffed. “I have never…” He clutched his chest in dramatic fashion. “… never scared anyone off.”

“Alice, Catherine, Eva…” Tom counted off on his fingers. “… I can go on.”

“None of them met my high standards. Please come.” he begged. “Sophie will kill me if you don’t come.”

“The thought of your death is tempting.”

The waiter set the food down.

“Tom…” Benedict dropped all pretense. “… please come. I promise I will be on my best behavior.”

Tom’s head dropped. “Give me the details. I will check with Vivian tonight when I call her.”

Benedict’s lips pursed. “Really? I can’t wait to meet her. Especially someone who leaves marks like that on you. Sounds like she is yours for the taking.”

“Yeah.” Tom mumbled as he took a bite of his food.

-

Tom called her at 9 p.m. like always.

“Sunshine, how was your Sunday?” she asked.

“Speaking of that…” Tom started, and she noticed the nerves in his voice. “What are you doing next Friday evening?”

She thought about it for a moment. “I believe I’m free. Do you have any ideas?”

Tom exhaled sharply. “I’ve been invited to a charity event by Benedict and I have two tickets, and I was wondering if you would like to come with me.” He blurted it all out in one big run-on sentence.

Vivian paused before laughing. “Wow, you were really nervous about that, weren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am. Everything is still so new and I don’t… I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You are just the sweetest, sunshine. You know that right? Beautiful and sweet. Yes, I will go with you.”

Tom beamed. “How would everything work?”

“Like any date would. We go, we drink, we dance and mingle.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, darling. We can set some rules that work for both of us. okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, read to me please.”

Tom grabbed the book.

-

Tom and Vivian agreed he would pick out three outfit options, but Vivian would come over ahead of time and make the final choice. They would not use pet names and instead would do what is natural. Tom asked that she still rub the back of his neck.

“It calms me down.” he commented.

“Of course, sunshine. I like when you are calm. You are more attentive that way.”

It was now the day of the event and Vivian sat on Tom’s bed, noticing the clutter. Tom was modeling the second outfit.

“I don’t like the tie. Let’s see the last one.”

Tom undid the tie and shirt and grabbed the last option. It was a double-breasted blue pinstripe suit with a blue shirt and navy tie. He did a little spin.

“That one.” Vivian stood and straightened his tie and petted his neck before squeezing his ass. “Your ass looks amazing in those trousers.”

Tom blushed again. “Thank you, ma’am.”

She kissed his cheek, wiping away her gloss. “Remember, no names, now let’s go.”

-

Tom was more at ease with Vivian by his side. Her reassuring touch at the back of his neck or even his shoulder grounded him. Not to mention, she dazzled everyone she met. Now for the big test.

“Benedict, Sophie, meet Vivian Swann. Vivian meet Benedict Cumberbatch, notorious troublemaker, and his queen of a wife, Sophie Hunter.”

Vivian shook each of their hands, holding tight to Tom’s but leaning in for a kiss on the cheek by Ben. Tom tightened his grip. She suppressed a giggle.

“Charmed. Thank you so much for inviting me. I have been looking into getting the firm involved in more charity work and the children’s ward is an enticing option.”

“Firm?” Sophie questioned.

“Watkins, Price, and Forbes. I work in their corporate law division.”

Benedict let loose a low whistle.

“Tom, you didn’t tell me you were dating a pit bull.” Sophie commented. “Impressive.”

Vivian smiled. “I prefer the term ‘velvet hammer’ but pit bull works. “

“How did you and Tom meet?” Ben interjected.

Tom paled, but Vivian didn’t miss a beat.

“The Bloomsbury Club. We bonded over a shared loved for Macallan 18-year-old aged whisky.”

Tom cleared his throat. “Right. Why don’t we take a seat?” He gestured at their reserved table.

“Your feet must be killing you in those shoes, Vivian. After having kids, I just can’t stand wearing them, but if I want to see eye to eye with this one.” She gestured at Benedict.

“Guilty.” He shrugged. “Although not as tall as the Frost Giant over there.”

Tom paused as he pulled out Vivian’s chair for her.

“I don’t mind the heels.” Vivian responded. “It is all what you get used to. Besides, I enjoy towering over people.” she giggled.

“Champagne?” the waiter offered.

“No, it makes her sneeze.” Tom commented.

“Get me a glass of white wine, please?” Vivian gazed up at him.

Tom smiled down and kissed her cheek. “Yes, of course, darling.”

“Sophie?”

Benedict and Sophie blinked at the two of them.

“Uh… yes a white wine sounds fantastic. Thank you, Tom.”

Tom nodded and headed off to the bar. Sophie elbowed Benedict in the ribs. He shuffled to his feet.

“Tom, let me help you with that!” He called after his friend.

Sophie waited until both men were out of earshot.

“How did you… I don’t want to know. You’re not like Tom’s other girlfriends, Miss Vivian Swann.”

She smiled. “I’m not sure if that is a compliment or an insult. So I will say thank you.”

“Definitely a compliment. There is something different about Tom when he is around you. He seems…”

“… happy?”

“Yes, but the word is content.” Sophie added. “Content, at peace. After that last nasty breakup, the man could use a little peace and quiet.”

“Hopefully not too quiet.” Vivian smirked.

“Are you two gossiping about us?” Benedict teased.

“I was just telling Vivian how happy and content our dear Thomas looks with her.” Sophie quipped.

Tom blushed as Vivian smiled and reached out to rub his neck. “I am. Thank you for noticing Sophie.”

-

The evening wound down. Tom for once enjoyed the event. Vivian won over Benedict and Sophie, so much so that Sophie invited her to go shopping tomorrow afternoon while she wrangled Benedict and Tom in tearing down a shed in Ben’s yard.

“Leave them to grunt work while we shop.”

“I would love to.” Vivian sipped at her wine.

The two couples said goodbye while waiting for the valet. Benedict hugged Vivian tight and kissed her cheek. While Sophie and her exchanged numbers. Benedict pulled Tom to the side.

“There’s something different about you, man.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m still me.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“No,” Ben folded his hands in front of his face. “there is definitely a change. And I think it has something to do with that enchanting woman over there, who I am sure is being tortured with baby pictures by my wife.”

“Perhaps.” Tom replied cryptically.

“Don’t fuck it up man. You will never find another girl…”

“Woman.” he corrected his friend.

“… Woman like her. You deserved a little happiness.”

“Tom?” Vivian placed her hand on his back. “The car’s here.”

“Of course. Ben.” He shook his friend’s hand and then hugged Sophie before opening the door for Vivian and then getting in and driving off.

-

“I’m going to head home.” Vivian stated when they got back to Tom’s home.

“Okay. I had a lot of fun tonight. It wasn’t nearly as dreadful with you there.”

“Your friends are a delight. They really do want the best for you, sunshine.”

Tom smiled at the name. “Yes, ma’am.” He fell back into the old pattern.

She grabbed the back of his head and tugged him into a kiss. Tom wrapped his arms around her and did his best to hold her tight. She pulled away, and he whined.

“I’m ready to take this to the next step, Vivian. I want to please you.” His hands ghosted over his shoulders. “In all ways.”

She smiled. “Send me the essay and we will talk. How about lunch tomorrow?”

“I will send it as soon as I step inside. I could cook you lunch here.”

“I would like that, sunshine.” She kissed him one more time. “Sleep well.”

“Yes, ma’am. You too.”

She smiled and walked to her car to head home. Tom stepped inside and rushed to his computer. He did a quick spell check on the essay he had been tweaking over the last week and clicked send.

“There.”

Vivian laughed as her phone beeped before she even left Tom’s driveway, knowing it was Tom’s homework.

“So eager. I like that.”

[nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit]

Star Signs and Loving Gestures

Karmagisa week 2021 day 4 prompt: Stars AKA: stargazing date

wordcount: 1693 (may be posted to AO3 later)

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Karma had thought of pretty much everything. When he’d initially informed Nagisa of the stargazing date he’d planned, he figured it would be a mess like many of their dates ended up being. Something as simple and intimate as stargazing was something that didn’t come natural to Karma and Nagisa. Sure, they’d ended up cuddling together and watching the sky before, but it had been spontaneous, and not the entire date. 

Yet, there they were, laying down on a blanket on a small grass field, bodies as close to each other as was possible while still remaining comfortable. Karma had remembered to bring food and drinks, even being so responsible as to make one of those options fruit. Nagisa appreciated that. As nice as unhealthy snacks were, he was the kind of person to eat a lot of fruit just because he enjoyed it. Karma had made fun of him for that before. 

“Can you pass me a strawberry?” Karma asked, pointing towards a container just out of his reach. 

Nagisa handed it to him with a smile, “Being healthy?” 

“No,” Karma scoffed, “I brought nutella to dip it in. Literal heaven.” 

Yeah, that was just about what Nagisa expected. It wasn’t like Karma never ate fruit, when it came to strawberries he almost seemed addicted at times, but this wasn’t the time of day for his boyfriend to pull up the healthy options. Nights to Karma Akabane menat snacking and gaming time, where convenience went above health. 

It didn’t matter, just meant there was more fruit for Nagisa. And that’s what was most important. Karma had brought it for him. It was nice and considerate of him. He couldn’t help but feel just so happy in that moment, knowing how in love he was with his boyfriend and how much he loved him back, with a nice starry sky to decorate their evening. 

“It’s so pretty,” Nagisa sighed, unsure if it was just a thought or something he wanted Karma to know, “yet so simple looking at the same time.” 

It was a clear night, warm and comfortable, in the middle of the summer. The day had been terrible, but that was over now. The sun had taken the worst of the heat with it as it had gone down. Now, all was perfect. The star were visible, and Nagisa was comfortable in simple jeans and a t-shirt. He’d brought a jacket, still, just to be sure. 

“How cute and romantic would it have been if I looked up romantic stories written in the stars beforehand?” Karma asked, “In the constellations, I mean.” 

“But you didn’t?” 

“Hell no.” 

Nagisa shook his head, laughing ever so slightly. This was just about what he was used to from his boyfriend. Not that he minded, it was part of this very specific charm Nagisa had grown to love. Besides, he’d put in enough effort in planning the rest of the date. He could deal with no romantic stories in the stars. 

“I can tell you about zodiac star signs though.” Karma added. 

“What?” Nagisa looked confused, “Like when you’re born and stuff?” 

“Yeah, well,” Karma shrugged, “I can point some of them out in the sky, if you want.” 

It sounded interesting enough to Nagisa. He was a little surprised Karma had done enough stargazing to be able to find the zodiacs. Then again, he did say he could point out “some,” so perhaps he only knew a few. Nagisa wondered which ones he knew. 

So, he let Karma talk, point at the sky, and explain which signs were where. It was a little confusing at times. Nagisa recognized a few of them, although he was unable to locate them in the sky himself, but sometimes seeing the patterns in them was a little hard. When Karma was pointing out capricorn, his own birth sign, Nagisa was just full on confused.

“Am I supposed to see a goat in that?” He asked. 

“A sea goat, yes.” Karma nodded. The way he said it made it sound like he thought he’d said something logical. 

To Nagisa, it had been the furthest off from that. In what universe did the words “sea goat” make sense colloquially? Last Nagisa checked, goats didn’t live in the sea. 

“first of all, sea goats aren’t a thing,” Nagisa spoke matter of factly, “Second, that is a triangle.” 

Now, Karma shook his head. He rolled his eyes, a gesture Nagisa didn’t appreciate, and then returned looking his boyfriend in the eyes. The look in his eyes was as stupid as his gesture had been. He looked like he was patronizing Nagisa. Nagisa made sure to glare at him in response. That toned down Karma’s expression a little. 

“It’s a mythical thing, first of all,” Karma corrected him, “Secondly, it’s a little more abstract than that, wise guy.” 

Nagisa still didn’t see it, but he accepted the explanation for now. He wanted to ask what a sea goat was, but he did not want to be patronized again. So, he kept quiet, and looked back up at the stars. All he saw when looking at the capricorn sign was just a triangle. He wondered who ever made up these so-called drawings in the sky. Mentally, he made a note to do some research on it later. 

Because it was so late, he had gotten a little tired by that point. It wasn’t like he’d done too much during the day, but he still had been awake for a rather long time. The coziness of cuddling with Karma wasn’t helping that mood. Karma had such a nice and warm body temperature, like a large, personal heater for Nagisa. 

He cuddled up a little closer to Karma, resting his head on his shoulders, and grabbed ahold of Karma’s hand with his own. For a moment, time passed in silence, the two of them connected just like that, the sky full of stars watching them. Then, Karma spoke up and ruined what was once a beautiful moment. 

“ewl I just realized you’re a cancer.” 

Nagisa couldn’t have moved away from Karma faster, moving back so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes. Genuine disgust, that’s what he saw. He hadn’t started laughing yet. He’d better start laughing soon. Even if Nagisa didn’t think this was remotely funny, he sure as hell hoped Karma had intended it that way. 

“Excuse me?!” Nagisa looked appalled at his boyfriend. 

“Your zodiac,” Karma responded, still not laughing, “You’re a cancer.” 

The point was, Nagisa knew that. Of course he knew his own zodiac sign. And the problem… Well, the problem was that Karma was saying it like it was a bad thing. Nagisa didn’t think it was. He didn’t see how being a specific zodiac made him a better or a worse person. Karma, however, seemed very opinionated on it, and his opinion didn’t appear to be anything Nagisa would like. 

So, he just stared at him for a moment again, unsure what to say about the matter. Then, he shook his head in an attempt to organize his thoughts. He had to ask for more information. There was always a chance he was misinterpreting this. He’d better be misinterpreting it. 

“I know that,” Nagisa slowly said. “Now can you tell me why that would be disgusting?” 

Karma blinked. He pursed his lips as he scanned Nagisa’s face. Nagisa was sure the annoyance was clearly portrayed there. Whatever Karma was about to say next, it better be thought through very well. Karma seemed to understand that sentiment very well, considering he actually took the time to think about his words before answering the question. 

“Cancers are known for being moody and emotional,” Karma finally said, “You know, like, they take stuff very personal.” 

“I don’t do that.” 

“You’re… literally doing it right now.” 

Now, Nagisa was silenced for a moment. Surely he wasn’t making this about himself, Karma was. Karma had started by calling him out for being a cancer. Well, Nagisa himself had been the one to take the comment seriously. And, he himself had been the one to take the description to himself rather than just a stereotype Karma was explaining. 

No, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he wasn’t like that. Anyone could be emotional, given the right circumstances. Just because he reacted with a lot of passion, and the moment happened to already be about him personally, didn’t mean he was giving in to stereotypes. A zodiac didn’t define Nagisa. 

“They’re also known for being gifted in understanding people’s feelings and thoughts, not too far off from your assassin skills.” 

Shit, so maybe Nagisa was a little bit typical for a cancer. 

“That stuff is nonsense,” Nagisa argued, “purely coincidental.” 

There was a silence, followed by the sound of Karma’s laugh. Nagisa didn’t understand what was funny. What he said had been pretty logical. Whatever star sign you were born in didn’t influence who you were as a person. Nagisa would stand by that argument. Why Karma’s response to that idea was to laugh, was something only Karma could really explain. 

“I never said I believed in it,” Karma simply said. 

“You sure acted like it,” Nagisa pouted once more, “Your sense of humour is bad.” 

Karma simply shrugged, and Nagisa figured he may as well drop the subject. At least now he knew Karma didn’t actually judge him for the day he was born. That would have been a weird argument to ruin a relationship with. He tried to release the issue with a deep sigh, and returned his eyes up to take in the wonders of the sky. 

Eventually, Karma forced himself closer to him again, once again taking back the hand Nagisa had ripped away moments earlier. Nagisa let him. He, too, wanted to go back to the more romantic mood they’d been having. Soon enough, he felt like they had gone back to that, and the previous conversation was merely a past joke. The comfort of hugging his boyfriend as they looked at a pretty view made everything much better. 

“For what it’s worth,” Karma whispered, “You’re my favourite cancer.” 

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 137 Poll Results

This month’s poll results brought to you by: staraves, crunchwrap, momtaku, and Giovata

Important!! This month’s poll is looooooong so click the read more knowing you’ll be scrolling for a long while.

Also new this month, data junkies rejoice! if you’d like to see all 131 pages of write-ins from this month you can. View as doc or pdf

  RATE THE CHAPTER 2,188 Responses

Chapter 137, “Titans”, was one of the most polarizing chapters in recent memory, provoking strong reactions both positive and negative.  When we compiled the results, the chapter averaged 4.09 on a 1-5 scale, which places it 37th out of the 47 chapters we’ve ranked. No matter how you view it, it’s still a solid rating.

it was beautiful!!

While the pacing was somewhat spotty, overall, the chapter was absolutely fantastic and very fulfilling and answered a lot of the things I had wanted answered.

i was surprised by the events and was left crying and speechless

I'm never judging a chapter by leaks again. This was awesome!

Regardless of how good the next two chapters are, they won’t fix this one. 126 was bad, but it was just bad. This is bad and disappointing.

I realised that there are 2 chapters left so I read it peacefully while crying

It was a great setup for the final

I mean, this is complete shit and I've completely given up hope in the ending, but at least the story finally progressed at little this chapter.

i thought it was amazing. sad, yes, but amazing. i loved reading zeke and armin’s conversation in the Paths. i just really hope eren doesn’t die. with all the deaths that’s happened, his is the only one i won’t be able to bare. i already lost my favorite character, sasha, i can’t lose him too.

I had no reason to cry but I did anyways 👍

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 2,169 Responses

Before we get to the MVP results we’d like to make one quick shout out to a past poll. In 135 we asked who would be the one to detonate the explosives. Of the 1,121 responses that month, only 29 people correctly predicted it would be Jean. So while Jean only received 6.8% of the MVP vote for this act, we think those 29 people deserved some acknowledgement.

With Zeke and Armin comprising more than 20 pages of the chapter, it’s no surprise the majority of favorite moments centered around them. “Zeke and Armin’s discussing of the meaning of life” garnered one-fifth of all responses (20.2%), followed by “Zeke seeing the beauty of the world” (14.7%).  “Levi making good on his promise” (14.5%) was the third most selected option. “Armin reminiscing about the happy moments of his past”  was fourth (13.6%). The final option with double digit results was the cliffhanger ending,  “Armin saying goodbye to Eren before exploding” (10.3%).

everything in this chapter was amazing, there's literally nothing that doesn't makes me happy (except Zeke's death, it made me cry-)

Zeke‘s reflection and death are my favorite panels in the manga. It lives rent free in my mind. This is my favorite chapter of the manga so far.

I liked how Isayama had Jean reuse the suicidal blockhead nickname

I loved seeing Levi take a sort of protective, fatherly role when helping Gabi take out the Okapi Titan. And seeing him finally fulfill his promise and vow to Erwin is refreshing and makes me feel happy.

I loved the conversation between Zeke and Armin. Zeke was always nihilistic, he saw life as dry and meaningless. Armin is on the opposite - he found the meaning of life in the little happy moments. He taught Zeke that life isn't only about multiplication , but about higher, happier and more spiritual things, like love, having fun or watching sunsets and sunrises. I'm glad that Zeke found his own meaning of life and understood that there was nothing wrong about him being born on this world and he would do it once again, if he had a chance. We can add their conversation to the list of the best conversations in the manga.

it was a great chapter, and Armin & Zeke's talk was the highlight for me.

i love that scene where levi was protecting gabi from falling off falco's titan

Armin transforming and saying bye to Eren gave me absolute chills.

♡ This chapter has one of the touching scenes on AOT, because of everyone's helos moment, the unexpected character development, the fulfillment of the promise, worthy sacrifices, the reunion of the well known past titan shifters especially helping all the alliances, and the unexpected goodbyes.

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP? 2,165 Responses

There were two stand-outs in this chapter. Zeke won MVP by an Eldian ass hair at 35.9% of the vote, with Armin a smidge behind at 35.5%. Third place goes to a truly majestic cameo by the Cambrian explosion at 8.4%. Honorable mentions go to the horse in fourth (6.1%), Levi with his head-spinning moves (5.4%), and Reiner (maybe) Helos Braun (4.9%).

I LOVE ZEKEEKEKKEKE

MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN

Not crazy about Armin's "Talk no Jitsu" being the end-all solution but I reluctantly voted him MVP because there is no way in hell the brat who killed Sasha deserves anything like it even without being in only one panel

Zeke and Armin carried the chapter, after Levi and Gabi.

Falco is still best boy

Zoook <3

  WE BID FAREWELL TO THE BEAST TITAN THIS CHAPTER WITH THE DEATH OF ZEKE. LONG-TIME FOLLOWERS OF THE MANGA WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST SKETCH OF THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE INTRODUCED AS THE ONE HOLDING THE KEY TO THE STORY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE WAY HE WENT OUT? 2,177 Responses

Looking back at that old sketch, it really does feel like the end of an era. 44.6% of respondents thought Zeke’s end was a good and poetic way to go out. 29% were sad to see him go but were glad he had some agency - even throwing out a last bit of sass at Levi! 12.4% didn’t like how it happened as it was somewhat sudden and maybe not as epic as it could’ve been. 7.6% question if it’s really the end for Zeke quite yet, and 6.4% have no strong opinions about it.

A fitting end for a great character

I think his ending was very poetic but could have been executed much better.

In terms of writing, he was the third best character in the post-time skip section of the story. He deserved a better ending.

funny monke man... I...

10/10 character, one of my all time favourites. In theory, I like the idea of him sacrificing himself to stop Eren, but with the build up he had (mainly the way Grisha said he would save everyone) it was an extremely disappointing death.

I love him and via development. The thing is that the way he was killed was rushed as fuck and kinda killed my enjoyment of his last moments. If worked better, pretty sure I would have cried.

I really liked the way Zeke's character arc ended, and he remains one of my favorite characters in the series.

I'm happy that he appreciated life at the end. I wish he could survive this

He was an incredible character. I'm going to miss the monkey.

i have always loved zeke as a character, his personality and everything about him was just amazing, kinda sad he's gone now but atleast he got an epic death

I have loved Zeke since the beginning and I am so sad he is gone. But thankfully his death was well-done and he went out happily, realizing the true beauty of the world.

I was underwhelmed...I hoped to get much more out of him than what we did. But I guess this is expected when you introduce like 10 new characters and try to cram their entire arcs in less than 30 chapters at the expense of the original protagonists' (I'm not salty...I swear...).

I'm happy that his arc ended the way it did. As the above question said, it was poetic. But more than anything else, it was meaningful.

i dont rlly care bout him before, but when he died i cried. idk why lol 👴

he deserved so much better

I wanted him to die, but not killed by Levi.

He's not dead

I was actually affected more by his final words rather than his death. I think Isayama concluded his character pretty well. Now he can finally play catch in peace.

  HOW HAS YOUR OPINION OF ZEKE CHANGED WITH THIS CHAPTER? 2,164 Responses

47.1% already liked or loved Zeke before this chapter. 22.5% felt much softer towards him after this chapter but not enough to really say they like him. 21.5% enjoyed his chill philosopher side so much they would’ve liked to see more of him after all. Finally, 8.9% were not convinced and still don’t care for him.

I've always found him interesting. I love how his role in the story evolved as time went on. One of the best characters in Attack on Titan.

I mean, when they released his flashbacks as a child, I already started sympathising with him. Also his paths adventure with Eren. But this chapter really solidified it for me. The guy was just a sad boy who wanted love and thought he was doing the right thing.

He was an "end justify the means " person. I don't like him still.

I mean... it was nice to see him realise that he wouldn't mind being born again, but I was still a bit miffed by the fact that he still believed that his euthanasia plan was the way to go (it sort of diluted the impact of the conversation between him and Armin). Also liked that he acknowledged the innocent people he had murdered, so I'd give his character a 6/10.

my rating on him went up a lot, but i do think that it was a bit quick for him to turn

Isayama finally got me to feel for him in the end, but it took a damn long time.

wow he actually almost grew up in his last moments, congrats to him

Probably my favourite character now.

♡ All this time I've been hating Zeke. Call me childish but I do even hate him more to the extent that I wan't him to die a horrible death, just because he gave problems to my fave character Levi. But now that he's changed and gone I feel bad and sad. But I accepted his fate and that he is dead for good.

I've always enjoyed Zeke's character. Ever since picking up the manga after Season 1 what feels like an eternity ago and he's one of my favorite characters. That being said... This chapter made me dislike him a bit.

His character was ruined in a single chapter.

His growth has been interesting to watch. I was somewhat lukewarm on him before this chapter, but his willingness open his mind and accept the life given to him made me appreciate him much more.

I never liked Zeke but at the end I really liked his character development

he’s still a dick

I am a lot more at peace with his character with the development of the recent chapters. I can't say the same for my first impression of him and what he did to Erwin's gang. Still he's a very well written chatacter and I wish he got more moments to bond with Grisha.

I thought something important or something big were gonna happen but then boom he died

I used to hate him but the more get got to know him the more I understood his character. Overall an intresting and well written charcter.... i still hate him tho hahaha but less than before.

I used to hate him but when they showed his past & how he didn’t get love from anyone I started to really like & understand him

I used to hate him tbh but after chapter 137 he turned into one of my favorite characters to bad hes dead 😔

Honestly his story hit me a lot harder than expected, and it was amazing to see him go from totally nihilistic to a little hopeful at his last moments

Honestly I'm just impressed by that long journey. I've don't recall ever changing my opinion on a single character so many times.

I hated him from the beginning for what he did to Mike, and his actions during RtS didn't improve my opinion either. Even his sad backstory didn't influence how I felt about him. And then in chapter 137 a tiny miracle happened, and moments before he died I actually felt something. Sadness. Empathy. Respect, even.  Goodbye Zeke, you were a great character.

  ZEKE’S HAD QUITE A JOURNEY, FROM SCARY MONKE TO MEME MONKE TO SAD MONKE TO ENLIGHTENED MONKE. NOW THAT HE’S GONE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS, WHETHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE, ON ZEKE’S CHARACTER AS A WHOLE? 1,199 Responses

We had A LOT of responses to this one - we’ve included as many as possible without the list becoming absurdly long! If you’d like to see all of the write-ins, go back to the top of this document for the full link.

I loved Zekes character. Even as he attacked Paradis Island you could see his methodical viewpoint on their roles in all of this. He always was working the end game and their ability to not be used as pawns. We may not have always agreed with his path and believe me, there were moments I hated him. So many, but he also knew his moment in this time and what his role was. His death was a righteous one and I loved that Levi was able to fulfill his promise.

I thought his character was probably one of the best in the story, with a very well defined beliefs/viewpoint and a bunch of interesting characterwork.

I'll miss the Zook memes

I'm glad he got to understand that the world is beautiful before dying, I was angry because of all the things he did but chapter by chapter I came to realise  how sad his life was, he only had little moments to be happy and be a normal kid/person, I'm not justifying his actions but I'm not judging him either.

I'm going to miss him :/

I love Zeke as a character. He is well written on his own and also has a drastic effect on a lot of characters. I think that Zeke realizing that there are other ways to look at life and his way was not the most convenient one makes the viewer realize that no one is wrong and no one is right. I think his death was pleasing enough and he look liked he didn't have major regrets in life, other than the one he discussed with Armin.

At first he seemed to me a very cruel and conflictive character but he has had a great development and a dignified closing for his unfortunate path

Top 5 best written character

IF ONLY GRISHA THREW A FUCKING BALL AT HIM ONCE IN A WHILE :((((((

A complex and well written and likable however I still can't forgive him after Erwin

A good character, definitely one of the most interesting of SnK.

a good guy(?) at least he's listening

A good written character , loved his arc and how it ended

I think Zeke was one of the only characters that had some understandable motivations.

"Go back, I want to be monke!"

He was a really important character to the whole plot. His presence always influences the story heavily. I am kinda neutral to what to feel about him.

He was a typical Yeager - only the way he believed should be what all the others had to believe too. So I was glad that he turned around in this last chapter of his.

He was a walking meme then and now he is one of the most complex characters in the series, maybe with another father he would have been happy

He was a well defined character, with adequate back-story to understand his perspective. I cannot say he was likeable or relatable though, except from the moments he was showing some kindness to his subordinates.

He was always a good guy

He was always alone

he was always being used and now i’m crying

he was badass but still idiot

He was brainwashed with no good childhood..i feel sorry for him

He was brought up as kid without loves from his own parents until mister Tom ksaver shows him love and take good care of him as if Zeke was his son so there’s no negative thought about him as he need to do what he need to in order to save the world

Isayama once called him the ""key of the story"", and indeed he was : his character arc concluding to a philosophical answer to his existencial angst that brings forward the key statement of the story : the world is cruel but beautiful.

i felt bad for they way he grew up and when he saw how Grisha actually took care of Eren. i enjoyed his character development

I found him to be quite intriguing. His double cross of both Marley and his people with he euthanasia plan was a treat to read.

I get his motivations, and can sympathize, but genocide is rarely the answer.

I love how Zeke has been having his own character arc since Paths with him making peace with Grisha and seeing how beautiful life can be.

I loved Zeke. Not in season 3 but after reading the manga & reading his backstory my thoughts on him changed. I loved the sarcastic & funny moments with him & Levi.

i'm happy with the development he got, but i'm angry that he was suppossed to be 11/10 smart and he made the dumbest decisions ever. like trusting eren, for example.

I'm just sad Zeke is dead(seriously don't know if he's actually dead) but every time, I would always be reminded of Mike, and how Zeke let him die cruelly by the hands of not only a titan, but three of them.

I'm mad that he did betrayed eren, but im happy he got to choose when he died n how his final moments he liked them.

I'm really really glad he found the meaning of life. after being manipulated all his entire life and knowing that the world was cruel from a young age he decided to go thru with his goals even if it meant nothing in the long term to him (like his plan for paradis) but after his talk with armin his character completely changed for me. Now I understand him more and understand his character. I feel bad for him. mega bad

*sigh* , i have no idea 🙃

A guy that has shady goals but finally realized about the beauty of life which makes him sacrifice himself for the better future and people that fights for it. A good character.

A hillarious guy.

A necessary evil, and really sympathetic but still apart of me is glad he kicked the bucket

A perfect antagonist

a perfectly human and complex character. really loved his contribution to the story.

A pretty great character. One of my favorites.

A really well written character in my opinion

A solid character

A tragic character. A guy who never experienced love and ended up feeling "death is his only salvation."

A tragic story, great leader, never got too attached to him though

A very lovable monke, keep thotting it up in PATHS king

He was a badass man  who sacrifies his live for the  good of humanity

He was a character that never experienced parental love thus he wasn't able to cherish the little moments and understand the meaning of life. I have positive thoughts about him, because I am thinking what his character would be If he had a normal life as a kid

He was a good and tragic victim who became a victimizer in his pain

He was a good boi. Savage, cold and calculating, yes. But in my heart, he was a good boi who stayed loyal to his goals untill the end. I'll miss you zeke.

he was a good character while it lasted, i’m not happy nor sad that he’s dead now, but he was very well written

He was a good character. Still don't like him though

He was a good mysterious character that kept me on edge whenever he was on screen. Didnt know whether to trust him or not and I liked that.

He was a great character and I wish we could’ve seen more of him.

He was a great character overall he had a great character development in my opinion as he sided with the scouts. I'll miss him ofc but I'm glad that he got to choose when to die.

he was a great character, helped the story go amazing

A wHoLe AsS MoNkE

He was a major factor in the story without zeke we wouldn’t be where we are now I personally loved his character he was someone that was prepared to die for his beliefs which I can respect although can’t forgive him for killing all they scouts

He was a misunderstood character and by the end more people hopefully got it.(like I did) But he is now dead monke

He was a really entertaining character and I'm going to miss him.

He was a really good character who in my opinion, got great development till his last moments. Specially liked how Levi was so desperate to kill him as the monster who murdered almost all of the SC including Erwin, but he ended up killing just a man.

He was a really good character, he was only manipulated by Marh and his father (bc he wanted his affection)

he was really interesting- his motives especially. i really enjoyed his perspective of growing up in marley and turning his parents in as traitors, his compassion towards eren, his change of heart in the end. stan zeke.

He was set up to be 100IQ genus but was a self-loathing sad boy the whole time.

he was such a smart character i really enjoyed him , he was one of my favorites and will be really sad to see him die but i’m glad that he got to choose how he died

He was the best monke.

He was the bridge between Eren and Grisha. He was dealt a series bad hands :(

He was the perfect foil to Eren’s character ever since we met him.

He was truly important in each Eren, a bit Levi and the story developments.

He was very well written I feel like he deserved better

He was wonderful character, most one I connected with him in all his journey

He went from a mysterious interesting character in s2 to a character that I hated in s3 for what he done. But now in s4 onwards hes become one of my favourite characters second to eren

He's a very sad character, having grown up with so much suppression and suffering, and to believe he and his race are better off dead, which then leads him to become so determined to exact a bleak plan so his race wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I'm glad armin helped him see there's more to life in his final moments :)

He's a very smart boi but we never got to see his ass-wiping technique. Was this chapter the ass-wiping technique?

He's an amazing character.

He's an asshole, but he's funny. A funny asshole.

He's an extremely interesting character. Filled with intricacies and complexities, I think he fulfills the role he's been given perfectly. In my opinion, his arc came to a nice end and throughout the entirety of it, he remained consistent which I can appreciate.

He's been a victim of the world

He's been an interesting character all along. He should have had a bigger role at the end though.

He's confusing as a character. I feel bad for everything he went through but I'm still not a fan of him

He's funny when he plays with his sand idk😭

He's grown quite a lot as a character

He's just tried he's best t save the world tho. I'm sad for him but i think it the best end for him because he sacrificed so much. Just let him rest in peace

He's monke

He's my favorite character since the Marley arc. I found him really interesting and intriguing with all his Zekerets.

He's my favourite character

He's not really a bad guy when you see his past.

He's one of the best characters, also appreciate the recurring abs fanservice.

He's one of the best villains, if not the best villain, in the series, partially because he feels like such a genuine person outside of his horrible plan and how he can be such a lovable goofball.

He's one of the most interesting characters of SNK. Even tho I still don't like him –sorry, Erwin's dead still hurts:(– I think he was an essential figure for Eren's (& SNK's plot) evolution. A really complex man who finally found peace at the end of his life.

He's quite unlikeable at the start but as time goes by I can finally see some clue about his intention

He's so hot holy shit

He's the best brother Isayama could have written for Eren

He’s a bad dude but he’s hot

He’s a great parallel to Eren

he’s always been an insanely cool character. i dislike how nonchalant he was about ragako but i understand why he acted that way.

He’s an important key to the story and without him it wouldn’t have been the same. i didn’t agree with his plan but i understood it, same as eren.

He’s been a great charismatic character that although he caused my fav Erwin death I couldn’t hate him.

He’s been manipulated like all of them, but in the end, he’s not as shitty as Eren.

HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WAS WILD!!!!!!!!! Isayama did an amazing job on delivering him a good end. I’m glad that I got to fully understand his character and know what pushed him to do the things he did and wanted to do. 10/10 character

His character is amazing; i rly liked him and i’m glad he found his peace in the end

His character was great and his plan made more sense

his titan makes me uncomfy but he has good character development, overall i don’t mind him :)

Honestly very complicated and I don’t feel like writing an essay here, but I very strongly disagree with his ideology but I understand his view point and my respect for him has grown a lot through the series to the point where I was even sad to see him go, all in all an amazingly written character. But he also killed Levi’s husband so get wrecked lol

Honestly? It looks like he was better when he was younger, he was way more scary than now. Now he just looks pathetic.

How should I write it.. He was a great brother, I love him. He loves Eren so much, that's why he chooses to die.

I always hated him and still do for all the things he did, but regardless of that I think he's an amazing character.

I always knew he was gonna die.

i always thought his way of thinking was different from others and thats why i enjoyed his chatacter a lot

I don't like him. Yes, he is a well-written character, but I can't like him because of how much harm he has done to levi. levi lost a lot of his own subordinates and friends because of that monkey.

i dont get why he didn't kill himself before and armin had to be there to state the obvious

i dont like him when he betrayed the scouts but now i understand him but i dont really like him. He deserve better when hes child and thats the cause hes doing this thing. So i guess im both okay and not okay with him

He's had an arc

he's just a brainwashed boy just like others at marley . since kid, he did not have the feels of love by his parents and he just seeing mr.ksaver as his only 'father figure' and this makes me sad like how could grisha did thus to him ?! ik grisha really obssess with eldian thingy that time but ignored your child is a big no no ❤ but for now his character have been improved a lot and makes me change my pov thru him so yeah ...

He's just like every other character in SnK: War Criminal with a backstory. What he went through as a child and a teenager creates a soft spot for him; but doesn't justify his killings and the euthanasia plan. I would have liked him to go down in a more grandiose kinda way (seeing his brain games, him just giving up on his life kinda felt lame). Overall, a great character from analytical pov.

Man vanished for the entire final arc to get one chat and Armin and kill himself. Isayama mismanaged him horribly.

maybe if he was shown love, he would've been a decent person.

I liked Zeke's detached approach on humanity, as I completely relate with his philosophy during the conversation with Armin. Even though at first I was repulsed by his sociopathic tendencies (rip Mike) his character definitely stood out. Everything about him felt rational and original, and I still believe his plan was the most logical one. Great character.

I like Zeke, he was represented as a villain but like all the characters, he's the hero of his own story. He was strong, smart, and tried to stop massive killings. I loved his relationship with Levi too (even though he almost killed him) and I loved Levi's expression when he finally killed him. I expected him to die fighting, but I like how he went down.

I liked him as a villain, but I would have much preferred his Joker-esque "watch the whole world burn" instead of yet ANOTHER misunderstood weeaboo

I really liked him and he was my second favorite character after Eren. I think he was very realisticaly written.

I really liked him as a character. He had a really good character arc not only in regard to his background, and his last moments in the physical world was absolutely stunning!!

I really liked his character towards the end, I’m glad he stepped up and helped call the past titan shifters.

I've got mixed feelings towards Zeke. I really hated him at first for the way he killed Mike - which was absolutely horrible. Then for the scouts and Erwin. But in the end we learn that it's like for anybody else: he did things because he had to. I don't hate him anymore, but I still don't love him either. He's written well, but I feel like he could've been written even more better, which is a bit sad. But he still had a great development. Lastly, the only thing left I have to say is : ✨hot monkey✨

love or hate him, zeke added an incredible dynamic to the story and the exploration of his character as well as his back and forth with others was consistently engaging. didn't think i'd say it but i'm gonna miss him

My thoughts are neutral. I think he had no choice in his life- he too was enslaved. Although, it would have been better to see more of his relationship with Tom Ksaver. That seems to be who he really is, and who he really believes himself to be.

One of the worst childhoods in AoT. I could never blame him for what he did with his life afterwards. I still wish he'd get a happier ending.

One, if not the best character in AOT. He’s such a complex, pragmatic character - I’ve loved him since his first appearance. I just wish his ending hadn’t been so anticlimactic... he deserved better.

Pretty good character but his way of chopping eldians dicks off so they don't have children to save the world was less ridiculous then what eren is doing. Eren says Zekes plan is messed up and then goes on to commit genocide like bruh 😒. But whatever atleast the rumbling stopped.

Well I don't like the guy, never did nor did I care about his sob backstory but at least in the end he came to terms with the shit he had done and accepted his dead.

Well rounded arc. Really interesting character. The idea to have the two yeager brothers have such conflicting ways to bring peace is really interesting

Zeke >>>>>>>> Eren.

Zeke abs

Zeke character is seriously much more deeper than we think he is. Not trying to write an essay here, I'll just say that Armin, Eren, Levi, etc have suffered with the loss of their loved ones. Zeke never even had the chance to be loved.

Zeke character was tragic. He just wanted to live a normal life. At the end, he gave up on his dreams and died, just like Erwin.

Zeke could’ve been one of the best characters in the manga if he had more time to shine it felt like he was either the mysterious villain or a pawn in someone else’s game zeke should’ve had way more of an impact on the story and been less of a plot device

ZEKE DESERVED BETTER

Zeke does his job. He a antagonist to our characters. He a well written character. I still will dislike him for the horrible stuff he did. But he got a good end.

Zeke GOAT. I'd personally adopt him so we could be best friends.

Zeke had a good story. One of the best character in AOT

Zeke had a much more humane plan than eren, he lived his whole life being exploited and used and didn’t truly find the beauty in the simplicity of it all until the end, very sad.

Zeke had a pretty decent character development

Zeke went from a 5d chess 200 iq keikaku master to a meme monke and I loved every second of it.

Zeke had a rare, but perfect mix of being intimidating, goofy and pathetic that made him a complete character.  I've been angry at him, laughed at him, and enjoyed everyone moment he was onscreen, whether it him killing others, getting curbstomped by Levi, or his bantering.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT SEEING THE FIRST PAGES, DETAILING LIFE ON EARTH? 2,127 Responses

46.6% were excited to see real creatures of evolutionary history as part of titan lore, while 29.1% were glad to finally see the origins of that mysterious many-legged menace responsible for the world’s troubles. 12.1% aren’t totally sold on the exposition, and 6.2% would’ve preferred the origin story remain more vague. Meanwhile, 6% know who are*really* the masterminds behind it all. *taps head*

HALLUCIGENIA! Who would have thought that the main culprit of everything was just an evolved cambrian worm. Very nice.

This, in my opinion, was the best chapter of ALL the manga so far. My favourite part was the beginning resembling evolution of the real world. Simply amazing.

the "Life" part is confusing. Actually, i want that "Life" things took big part in Titan History, like controlling human, made human (Eldian) become one race for environmental reason, or something, and that "Life" thing has mind, like it could communicate with people....

Is it a coincidence that this chapter released while I was studying the Cambrian Explosion for my college biology class?

  DOES YMIR NOW SIDE WITH THE ALLIANCE? 2,161 Responses

46.3% don’t want to make any more assumptions about Ymir, they just want information first! 36% believe Ymir’s not on anyone’s side and is seeing how things unfold. 12.2% maintain that she’s sticking with Eren, and 5.5% think the alliance has won her over.

Ymir basically tried to make her own version of Instrumentality. I do think we need more elaboration on her perspective so her changing her mind is emphasised. I've been theorising she will betray Eren at some point, but with the lack of POV both on her and Eren's part, it does seem questionable.

I feel like she just didn’t want to be alone anymore. and because she’s the founder she wanted a connection between her and her subjects or her people. it’s understandable why she would help eren with trying to achieve his goal but it also makes sense for her to help the alliance stop eren because she is now free.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF PATHS BEING THE RESULT OF YMIR’S DESIRE FOR SAFETY AND CONNECTION? 2,106 Responses

Again, a plurality of 43.9% want to wait for more information from Ymir’s perspective before deciding how they feel about her. 33.6% think the explanation in this chapter made sense and made her more believable in her motives. 15.1% somewhat grudgingly accept that for the role Ymir plays, this’ll do. However, 5% just don’t like it or just don’t think it makes sense.

i have no idea if it makes sense plot-wise but since one of the primary human needs is connection it's believable and touching

I'm surprised because I believed that was the empty, lonely world  created by her subconscious mind or desire for serving the king. Now it looks like it is the world where she feels safe and is waiting for someone to give her what she desires.

Despite the lack of exact origin, this make sense, specially if we see other science fiction war-politic drama, as the first Gundam Series, or Foundation.

Explaining the origin of the spine creature was necessary imo, but I think the origins of the Paths should have been left vague. This explanation is a little weak.

It's sad yet kinda sweet at the same time.

I like this. Ymir best girl

I still don't understand how that shit works

I still wouldv liked it to be the transcendental plane of existence, governed by the source of all life.

I think Paths existed before Ymir, right?

Paths became pretty stupid after Ymir was introduced.

I think she fled, got parasite'd, and that....thing has been in control of the Titans ever since, trapping the mind of a little girl in Paths for 2000 years.  Finally, someone with the Founder was able to contact her and say "You can do whatever you want!" so she just...let him have power, so she could roam freely for a bit.

I thought that we were going to get a different explanation, since PATHS is something supernatural but if Isayama wants that then Im ok with it, remember we are in a story with 16 meters giants, dont expect science explanations here lol

I understand the phrase, but I fail to see why her character turned this way given the hardships she suffered. Indeed, why did she keep obeying King Fritz instead of giving him a lesson?

I want to know why and how it spread to all Eldians instead of just shifters.

It makes sense to me, and it's a good explanation, but I have a feeling that there may be more to it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but she was stuck for so long, that it’s initial purpose has lost meaning.

It would need a lot more explanation. How does the (still-unexplained) tree spine give her the capability to form an alternate supernatural dimension? And why would THIS be the way to form those connections, rather than, say, NOT forming massive monsters to kill people on earth? How does wandering around an endless desert alone forming weapons of mass destruction for thousands of years feel safe and connected? It's flimsy.

it's a cheap excuse as to why paths ex machina exists.

It’s a good explanation, it highlights the tragedy of her story even more

It’s honestly very sad. She is such a lonely character and the fact that she made a place where she could feel connected to others is very heartbreaking. She’s just wanted to feel loved :(

Kinda stupid. Titans are fucking weird creatures anyways and trying to explain them beyond the concept of "magic" and paths ruins it for me.

Makes sense, even Eren has stated that she has been desiring for company and understanding, meaning that she couldn't completly achieve it with the creation of paths

No, Ymir is trapped in paths due to being devoured while controlling the spine creature. Because she was eaten by humans (not turned into titans) she was stuck in the world of paths and to end titans she needs to be freed from that world.

omg i never rlly got that (i was super confused) until after i read this question- cool tho how her desire for that is so great she created a whole ass metaphysical plane wtfff

Paths didn't need to be explained but it's nice that it's connected to Ymir's desires

PATHS is pinnacle Strand-type game.

She choose to be alone in that realm, and she chose to obey the king's will. I can't feel bad for her as much as I did before

Super weird. Seemed like Ymir just kinda appeared in Paths in 122. So it existed before her right?

That definitely explains why Armin was still able to see everything that was going on in the living world. It was especially interesting to learn that all titan shifters never fully die, rather their consciousness is transferred to Paths where they remain in a seemingly dream-like state but can still be awakened to an extent, as we saw Zeke do. I still would like to see Paths destroyed in the end, though, otherwise they'll be stuck there forever and never be able to move on.

The plot with Ymir was just absolutely awful.

There are still way too many questions about her but i'm not interested in it

Though Ymir remains quite an obscure character, I've always been a fan of childhood trauma and how this affects the world they are living in, especially in a fantasy setted world. It adds an interesting level of humanity to the story.

Ymir was surprised when she entered paths in 122. She didn't expect but from what we've seen from 122, we can say that "escaping to a world free of even death" holds the most meaning. I never saw it as her desire for safety, Connection of course is existent though.

she's become a very compelling character and her ideologies are more pronounced, and I really do like how it connects to titan powers and paths. however we still need more explanations on her.

She's the incarnation of a very human feeling, no need to wonder why she became a godess

I just want to hear from her! Everyone else is telling her story and speaking for her, and I really want a moment at the end here for her to lay things out

  ARMIN SHARES A FEW MEMORIES THAT MADE LIFE WORTH LIVING, WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 2,091 Responses

Armin shared some of his sweetest memories with Zeke this chapter. 74.9% most loved the memory of him running with his two dearest friends as leaves fell. 11.8% chose the memory of walking around a marketplace with friends. 6.8% chose the memory of feeding a squirrel at training camp, and 6.5% chose the memory of reading a book on a rainy day. They were all lovely though, weren’t they?

Not afraid to admit that I teared up seeing the panel of EMA running to the tree!

I love the message in this chapter because to me this is the message of AoT in general; life is worth living because of the small, precious memories we make. It's not about a great sense of purpose; just being alive makes someone a valuable human. If this is the final message of Isayama to his fans, I gladly take it.

  WAS ZEKE'S CHANGE OF HEART BELIEVABLE? 2,104 Responses

Grisha once said that Zeke would save his people, and it seems he has fulfilled this role with Armin’s encouragement. Although not without a good dash of nihilism first. 61.4% thought his decision to help Armin was perfectly in character; he just needed to be reminded of his few good memories as motivation. 19.2% did think it was a drastic change on his part, but his changed views were just a part of his character development. 15.9% did not appreciate what seemed like the dreaded Talk no Jutsu in full force.

I honestly loved Zeke’s change. Despite Ymir and Eren Zeke was still the key to this and I liked how it never changed.

It was already foreshadowed but Isayama should had set this up a few chapters ago because the execution makes it seem like Armin just told him “life gud” and he was like “oh shit u right” and then went to die

It was believable enough. Plus, I like that he still mentioned to Xaver that he still believed the euthanasia-plan was the way to go.

It was good thematically but it needed more time and more build up in the execution

It was kind of strange in my opinion but he was tasked by Grisha to stop Eren so what choices did he really have?

He doesn't have a change of heart, he just has a change of action. same motivation and beliefs, just different action he takes.

He had a lot of time to think in Paths, so yeah.

after all those fandom debates about armin using talk no jutsu on eren, we instead saw armin use it on zeke instead (so my answer is both yay, character development!! and nay, a part of me believes ONE pep talk can't COMPLETELY change a person)

As abrupt as the change was I think I do prefer this, rather than him not getting any 'better' and eventually dying without realizing the amount of trouble and hurt his actions caused.

It would be believable if we saw how the PATHS trip with Grisha and Eren affected him, but bad pacing happened

believable, shouldve had its own chapter though

don't know what to think about it

Not at all. I think if he paused and wondered on his own it would've been better. Instead it was made to wank Armin and make yet another determined adult look incompetent.

Rational me: Well at least Monke got to go out with a smile. 2013-16!me: Eren should've been giving the pep talks...I thought he was gonna be the protagonist....wahhh (cue baby crying)

Seems acceptable, just glad he’s gone

eh. it was somewhat believable. he didnt have any reason to continue existing

Happened way too quickly.

I don't know, but here's my opinion. I'd say Zeke finally open his eyes to the truth, and now he wished to do as much as he can to stop Eren before his time comes. I believe that's the reason he exposed himself to Levi, and why he chose to die after calling every titan shifters to help aid Eren's friends stop Eren. Does it make sense?

I dont get how armin convinced him more easily than eren did when theyre the ones with essentially the same endgoal

i love the idea of zeke becoming a "optimistic nihilist" but didn't at all like how rushed it was executed.

I mean, it sure could've been explored more, but we have to take into account that Zeke had been in paths for a long time (maybe for what it felt like millions of years) and by that point he felt hopeless; his dream was no longer going to become a reality, he couldn't change anything and was trapped there forever, then Armin came and gave him a different perspective, he listened and found something of value in it while at the same time not completly discarding Xaver's ideology. I like it!

I mean... it was kind of a change of heart? But he still believed that his euthanasia plan was the way to go (I dislike Ksaver for that very reason; he projected his own self loathing onto Zeke which led to him believing that life isn't precious and just inherently cruel)

I think Armin and him talked for yrs in paths but it only translated to minutes irl

I think it was either rushed to the point where Zeke-once the brainer monke-did a full 180 to give up on himself. I mean yes, character development or whatever, I think it should have been given more time to happen. He just gave up and died kinda feels off-setting considering his cunning/witty character.

I think that he just stopped caring about everything and did what Armin asked him to do.

I enjoyed armin and zeke’s conversation, and think the outcome made sense.

I was against that plot at first. But after reading different opinions, I guess he became hopeless due to his time in the paths. So the nihilist speech wasn't exactly his way of thinking. Otherwise why would he run around for making his euthanization dream come true if he was that hopeless of life. So I think his change of mind was acceptable

It did feel drastic in the moment, but I think if I were to read through the chapters more consecutively, it might make more sense to me

It doesn't make sense that someone as motivated as Zeke would sit passive the whole Rumbling. If he could have done anything to stop Eren, he would have done it before half the world was Rumbled.

Zeke wanted to eugenicize his race. Except Armin said 'look at this leaf, I like living' and he said 'yes you're right life is worth living. I will die for humanity now'. People will joke about this for years to come when they explain attack on titan to their friends.

"The greatest teacher, failure is." - A wise old ghost frog.

This change is fine in principle. It's change from his idea of euthanasia and "better not be born" toward "eventhough life is suffering too, it's worth living". But it was rushed, it would have been more believable if the idea germinated in his mind. So between the Yes and No answer.

What change of heart, he was reminded from what he found happiness in life which he was enjoying subconscioulsy before aka playing catch. An activity he started enjoying as a kid. It was a game, something kids enjoy not a heavy burden of "saving everyone" as Grisha implanted onto him.

yes because before talking to armin, he must have been so lonly in paths for such a long time, after such isolation even one talk can influence a person a lot

Zeke had this change coming - it was built up throughout the Paths chapters. The primary boogeyman figure of his life turned out to be a good man, and he apologised, turning his entire worldview upside down (not counting the whole "Stand, dad" thing) He had an eternity in Paths to process the events of ch120-122 (and maybe his entire life before that) multiple times over. Armin found him at his most vulnerable, betrayed and alone once more. Their debate back and forth, all done with mutual respect, was amazingly written. Armin showed him the way, gave him that one final nudge he needed in the right direction. It's perfectly believable, and fitting.

  IF YOU WERE IN PATHS, WHAT WOULD ARMIN’S LEAF LOOK LIKE TO YOU? 1,124 Responses

Because we love and appreciate every single one of you, this list IS going to be absurdly long. <3

♡ Levi just him.

🦧

20 inch bad dragon dildo

A baseball ⚾️

A basketball

A bed

A berry

A better chapter 137

A better final arc.

A Bible

A black hole

A blanket (don't judge me)

A blue gel pen, maybe? Or a book?

a blue pouch

a book

A book from my ninth grade year

A book I have that's full of messages from friends

A book maybe since I spend most of my times reading books with my beloved one and friends

A book probably

A book? Handphone? Idk

a bottle of black nail polish

a box of spicy chicken nuggets from mcdonalds

a bracelet

A brush

a butterfly

A cake

A camera

A candle

A card from my girlfriend

Cassette-Tape

A cat

A cd

A CD case of cellist yo yo ma

a cellphone ig xjwkxnekdkd jk a book

A cherry blossom / cherry blossom leaf

A chessboard I guess

A childhood toy

a cigarette shared between friends

A cinema ticket

A clarinet

a coffee mug

a coin

A comic book

A computer probably

a concert ticket

A cross

A cross necklace my grandma gifted me when i was like 16 (she died when i was 18 💔)

A crucifix

A crystal

A cup

A cup of coffee

A cup of coffee in a cute mug

A cupcake

A deck of cards

a dick

A dildo

A dildo (joking) a piece of cake

A dinosaur toy.

A doll

a duck

A feather.

A feather..the pretty one..could be bird's feather..

A fish

A fishing rod.

A football balloon

A fountain pen i received when i was younger.

A framed picture of EMA laughing together

A freakin’ leaf, I’m don’t have horrible mental issues like AOT characters.

A friend/family member.

a fucking leaf

A game controller.

A gameboy advance or some curry lol

A girlfriend, because i'm lonely :(

a glass 'potion' bottle

A glove

a gold necklace i got from my parents when i was little

A Good Ending

A good manga series

A good SnK manga chapter

a guitar for sure

A guitar pick

A hair band (symbolizes self development)

A handwritten message from my mother

A harmonica

a hat

A hat I made for a friend

A heart.

a Hot Wheel car

A Jewel

A joint

A joystick

a key

a kpop lightstick idk

A laptop with anime on it probably💀oh or all if my maladaptive daydreaming story notes

a leaf

A leaf as well.

A Leaf because it's a Fucking Leaf

A Lego brick

A Lego figure

A Levi nendoroid

A life

A lightsaber

a little crystal bear

a little red bean

A little rock that I've polished myself with another rock

A little treasure box

A magic the gathering card.

a manette

A Manga (maybe AoT or TG)

a manga panel

A mechanical pencil

A memory

A mobile phone

A mouse

a mouse and keyboard

a movie from blockbuster

A movie ticket

a mushroom

A music Album

A Music player

A necklace

a necklace from an ex

A necklace that my father gave me but it broke

A new Sombra skin (casual). Give her something already!

A Nintendo DS

a noose

a notebook

A notebook filled with my goals and dreams.

a nugget

A paint brush

A pair of googles from my childhood.

A peach

A pen

A pen or quill.

A pen perhaps

A pencil

A perfectly orange looking leaf. Showing that the seasons still go by even after all that misery.

A phone

a photo album

A photo of me and my friends that I keep

a photo of me and my grandpa

A photo shoot, of me and a few my classmates

A photograph of my loved ones

A picture of Hitch's boobs 😔

A picture of me, smiling

A picture of my family

A picture of my friends

a piece of SnK merch or a slice of pizza lmao

a pill

A pinecone

a ping pong racket

A pizza

A Playstation controller

A plush I still have with me since day one. It has gone through a lot with me.

a pokeball

A Pokémon card lol

A Pokemon emerald rom

A Polaroid of me and my friends!

A possible symbol for the final chapter idk tbh

A postcard I got my from my best friend

a potato

a printed photo

A ps4 controller

A PS5

A quill

A reminder of how my life goes ups and downs but still stands up to fight.

A reminder of life and how it can flourish in the most unexpected of places

A Requiem ending

a ring

A rock

A running shoe

A Santa Hat

A screen honestly

a seashell

A sewing kit

a shot of gold tequila with cinnamon sugar and an orange slice. best night of my life.

A slice of pizza bro.

a small feather

A small stuffed toy, a gift from my grandfather when i was 4 years old, not long before he passed

A snk volume with actually good chapters in it.

A soccer ball

A soccer ball.

A spider man figure

A stone with a hole.

A stuffed animal from my childhood maybe, there’s one that still sits somewhere and is a reminder of those peaceful moments of childhood.

A stuffed animal.

A symbol of innocence and life

A table tennis bat

a teacup

a teddy

A thing who link me to my mom or my brothers

a token. A palm sized blue token with W.S engraved on it in white

A toy

A toy bear dhiq

A toy mouse

A toy plane.

a vape

A volume from this manga lmao

A volume of one piece

a wax pen

A whole bed.

A Wii Remote

A wrestling ring or a brush for paint

A xbox 360 controller..

Actually my answer is really dumb but it will surely look like my picture with my friends at a school camp in forest.

African barbecue chicken

Alcohol 👌🏿

Also a leaf because nature holds my best memories.

an actual decent ending for the series, which this isn't

An AoT manga

an apple

An Attack on titan manga, the 26 volume:(

An attack on titan volume

An autumn leaf maybe

An ice cream

An iced coffee

an old axe

An old Bionicle canister: 8536 - Kopaka. It just feels right, y'know?

An onahole

An orange

An snk volume

Anime-original ending for Season 4 part 2

Annie

annies character development before she became uwu waifu

AnR Ending.

Any of my son's toys. He's 2 yrs old. I'm crying right now...

Any small animal representing life

AOT Chapter 137🤣🤣🤣🤣

Aot manga

AoT volume 30

Apple

Armin thinks of it as falling leaves when he and his friends go to a tree

Armin would BE my “leaf”. Tbh, he gave me the strength and love to keep loving. He’s my happy memories.

armin’s leaf to me would look very green, very healthy and full of life.

Armin's corpse

Attack on Titan chapter 139

Attack on Titan's manga books.

Backyard

bald james charles

ball

balloon

Banana

banana for monke

barbie

Baritone Horn

baseball

Basement key tbh, y'all remember back in 2013 when the biggest mystery was "what was in the basement?" then it was revealed in the manga in 2016? Good ol' times when spoilers weren't everywhere 🙄

BASKETBALL

Bed

Bertholdt's redacted

Big fookin anime tiddies

Bill.

Blunt

Bohrok Kohrok

boobs

Books

bottle cap

Brass Ring

brick

Brooch

Brown and like at the beginning of fall

BTS's album

Bunny

Calisthenics ring

Camera

Can't decide

candle

Candy

Cap

Cards

Cat fur because I love my babies ❤

Cat whishker

chalk

chapter 100

Chapter 140

chapters 138 and 139

cheese slice

Chess

Chicken

chicken nugget

Chipotle

Chocy milk

Cicada

Clay

Cocaine

Cock and ball torture from Wikipedia the free encyclopaedia

coffee

Coffee mug

Coming home after school and enjoying the weekend playing football and meeting friends

Complete collection of snk volumes

Computer

condom ??

cooking with my mother, playing basketball with my brothers and sitting with my friends

Cricket ball

Damn, that's a really good question...honestly I don't know.

damn... idk

dog collar

Dont know

doughnut

Doujinshi

dreams, nostalgia, memories

Drugs

Dumbbell

Eh, probably my cat? Or the picture of people I love.

either a book or a phone

either a controller or my gf

Either a football or video game controller

Eren jaeger 😳

Eren or other

eren's abs

eren's schl-

Eren🤤🤤🤤

Erens dick

Erwin

Erwin's arm

Erwin's dick.

Erwin's right arm or levi's right eye

Erwin's smile

Everyone outside the Walls rumbled

exactly the same

Fair

family

Family Picture

Fern frond

First of all, great question :) probably a mini chalkboard with a little calculus equation on it from when I first got into mathematics

Fleshlight

floch

Flower

Food

Football

Football (soccer) ball

Freedom

From episode 1 2000 years ago!?

From the beginning the trees leaf

Fuck Armin

fuck this shit doing here

GABI'S GRUESOME DEATH

Gameboy

GameCube

GameCube controller

Gay porn

GME stonks

golf ball

Green

Green and alive.

Group picture with loved ones

Guitar

Guitar Pick

gun

GURL? I WILL NOT LOOK AT THE LEAF I WILL ONLY LOOK AT ARMIN! SORRY ANNIE!! >_<

Half Life 3

Halo (game)

hamborgar

hamburguer

hange

Harry potter novel

Historia

Historia not being a breeder

historia's soft breasts

Hmm i don't really know

hmmm, maybe a coin

hold four lokos

holidays i spent with my family n friends

homemade cooking? it would be all sandy tho

Honestly I don't know

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe the stylus I lost?

Honey bun

Hope

Hot wings

Humanity

I actually have no idea.

I did not expect such a deep question! You guys made me think for like 10min straight and question all my life. I'd say it would be a T-rex toy

i do not have any core memories. i remember nothing important of my childhood. it's all just a blank page

I don't know honestly. So many good memories, that aren't really connected with objects per se. If I could see sunlight in that sand, it would be that.

I don't know. I don't I would have any

I don't know. I don't think you would get a choice on what it would look like to you.

I don't really know I had a lot of good and importants moments in life but what I'm sure of is that it includes my family

I don't want to sit with Armin

I don’t think I’ve encountered it yet

i dont fcking know its a leaf

I dont know because i think i dont have a thing like that. I would imagine it as my previous house that means a lot to me

I had a little piglet figurine in my childhood that was lost.

I have a scructured settlement and I need cash now

I HAVE NI IDEA buuut i will think about it later ... It's a good questio actually

i have no answer for this 😞

i have no fucking clue

I have no happy memories

I have no idea lmao probably a leaf

I have no idea too much to think about.

i have so many in mind, idk what to choose.

I have to think about it that's a real good question.

I honestly don't even know. I'm probably just like Zeke who is yet to know the real value of living hehe

I need more context.

I still dont know what motivates me the most

I think it will be my favorite books

I think it would be my medals

I think it would look like a rock that I found on the beach.

I think it would look like an origami butterfly made from a business card

I think maybe leaf or flower

I think will be a pencil

I thought i had seen the leaf.is this a theory? wait? i don't see a tree on the path.where do the leaves appear? am i left behind?

I wanna know too

i was shocked tbh. the leaf became the sign that verified that there really is a connection between what happened in the past and now in the future — that the founding titan really knows everything that's going on.

I would see a specific type of pen that has the same name as my best friend

I'm not sure if I have something I'm deeply connected to.

I’m not sure

Ice cream

iced chocolate

Idk :(

idk but it does remind of the tree from the notebook ova

idk lol

idk my phone or sumin

Idk, I have many things that i love, but no clue what's the most important

Idk, i'd have to be there and be reminded

Idk, maybe hope?

Idk, maybe my cat. She's the best.

idk, something related to cartoons

Idk.....BTS album? They’re the reason my life become much brighter

In my eyes, I would have seen a music box.

Interestingly enough, also a baseball

Ironically enough, probably a baseball like Zeke

Is this really important?

Isayama-san UwU

It could be anything to me.

It could be metaphorical by contrasting the real world vs the afterlife, the past and the present, what is gone and what is still here.

It has to be something connected to an important memory of your life, not just an object that you wish you had, right? I think whatever the true answer is would be impossible for me to realise myself just by thinking. It seems like one of those things that you would only realise when it's right in front of you, then it all makes sense.

it remids him of mikasa and eren, when three of them running under the three

It would be a basketball

it would be a pencil

It would be green

it would look like a book

it would look like a dress

It would look like an autobiography book.

It would look like my bracelet I got from my best friend

It would look like Pine Tree

It would look like this chapter, but animated.

It would probably be a Lego set or smth

It would probably be the discord logo lol

it would probably look like this one follower my grandmother would always have in her garden

It's gonna be a long paragraph

It's hard to think about it right now, I would say a stick?

its remind me when they are still happy in the wall

Jean

Just a leaf

just a leaf u know its nothing particular

Just a leaf. but it also shows that freedom to everybody is different; for zeke it was just playing baseball with mr ksaver, and for armin it was running to a tree with eren and mikasa

Just.. leaf

Juul

kassete

Lacrosse ball

Leaf 👁👄👁

Leaf as well

Leaf is fine~

leaf of the tree they ran toward to

leaf?

Legit my cat

Lego brick

Lego star wars the complete saga for the Nintendo wii

letter

levi

Levi Pillow

Levi's plushie

Levi’s butt

Levi’s dumbstruck of an ass- probably a photograph of my closest friends

Levi’s happiness

Life

Life?? Idk

life..ig

Like a comb

Like a leaf

like a stuffed animal

Like Armin

Like goddamn, you think we could get some trees up in here among all this lifeless sand? jfc it's nice to see some greenery. People may suck but it's hard to say nature does

like looking at the past

Listening to music alone in my bed.

lol yikes i have no idea

Looking at a golf ball

Lots of things.

Lube

Man bun Eren

Manga

maybe a book ? idk i don't find anything memorable for now

Maybe a book or sumn.

Maybe a bottle of wine or a beach towel

Maybe a camera? Photo album?

Maybe a Lego brick

maybe a slice of cake, or a flower

Maybe also a leaf...

Maybe AOT manga? IDK lol!

Maybe book or pen

maybe flower

Maybe sad actually I don't understand 😃

meaningful memories

Meat

mf idk i’m dumb asf

Mi pets :(

Microphone

Mikasa

Mikasa body pillow

Mikasa's abs

Mikasa's smile

Mikasa’s ass

mikasas titties

mine probably will look like a paint brush<3

Money

monke

Most likely a pencil

mouse

music lol

Music Sheet

My Books

my bracelet

My cat

My cat or a cup of hot chocolate

My cats

my childhood

my childhood blanket

My childhood stuffed animal Rudi

my computer mouse

My crappy journal

my crush

My diary

My dog

My dog who died years ago, i loved him.

my dog who passed away

My dog's collar

My dog's leash I guess.

My favorite book

my friend's doodle

my friends.

My glasses or a bar of chocolate

My glasses, maybe.

My Grandma's crepes. ♥

My Grandpa (now I regret being too young to know more about his past)

My hard drive

My hedgehog

My iPod touch.

My kindergarten school

my laptop lol my best memory is blasting songs and pass the night without worrying about anything

My late grandma's glasses

my microphone

My mobile phone

my mom's ring

My mom’s cookies

My motorcycle

My notebooks

My old dog

my own damn tears

My paintbrush

My pc

My phone

My phone :)

My phone kek

My phone lol

my phone probably

My phone, with Reddit open, on r/Titanfolk, reading memes and whatever YakiBacki has made recently.

My phone???

My phone. I have a social media addiction.

My plush horse

My poems

My rabbit(s).

My seal plushie

My smartphone

My stuffed animal

My stuffed bunny from childhood😂

My switch

my teddy or some kind of gift offered by my family/friends

My trumpet. I have so many happy memories from marching band, playing with my friends every summer afternoon. I grew and learn so much through playing the trumpet. I gained so many friends and was so happy during the time I was in marching band. It was like my second home. I would give anything to go back to those happy times.

My tv remote

My unfinished new Survey Corps armor...

My wedding ring

My winnie the pooh doll lol.I loved it soooo much when I was a kid

Nami from One Piece

Nerf Guns lol

ngl it would look like a pawn or some random chess piece for me

nice try, dumbledore

nintendo switch

No comment

no I...

No I'm not ready for psychoanalysis at this moment

No idea, a locket probably

no idea, fuck Paths

Not sure honestly

Not sure. Because i havent found the purpose of my life.

Not sure. Is that bad?

Nothing in particular

Nothing to think about

Noting but vibez

obviously a volume of attack on titan

Oh gosh....this is so deep. I don’t know! Maybe a pencil?

oh man i don’t even know

One Piece volume

Orchids

Pain

Paint brush

Pandemic crisis is over

Pen

pencil

Perhaps a ballpen I used. I don't really have anything that reminds me to live in particular.

Perhaps a history book or map

Personally or as a manga reader? As a manga reader, it would be something related to the veterans, who embodied the true spirit of AoT to me

Phone

Phone full of conversations with my old friends.

phone? lol

Photo of my family

photo of my friends or Levi or Erwin 😂😂. Seriously I  haven't thought about meaning of life as deeply as Armin.

Picture of family and friends

Picture of my family and friends

Picture of sunset

pictures

Picutre of me and my parent's

Pie

pie DAHAHAHAHA

Pieck

Pieck's Ass

Pieck's butt

Pieck's Cart Titan AWOOGA

Pitchforks so I can go manifest in front of greedy Kodansha how shitty the writing is.

Pizza

pizza :)

Playing with childhood friends.

plushie from childhood

Pokeball

poop

Potato

Potatoes

pp

Probably a bike

Probably a bird I think

probably a book

probably a box of Girl Scout cookies honestly

Probably a coral, I'm a scuba diver so the ocean is always something that is close to my heart.

Probably a Gamecube controller due to that being my first gaming console I owned/played on.

Probably a gaming mouse lol

Probably a Kanye West album idk

Probably a leaf. His entire philosophy on life is exactly my philosophy on life.

Probably a manga, if anything. Or a Vinyl since I love music.

Probably a pen or paintbrush because I love art

Probably a pencil

Probably a photo

Probably a picture of my best friend

Probably a picture of my family

Probably a picture of someone I lost and cherish.

Probably a pillow.

Probably a small stuffed animal

Probably a Soccer ball

Probably a volume of AoT ffs

probably a wii controller :’)

Probably a wrestling belt or a game controller

probably an ice cream

Probably an old photo of mine

probably attack on titan manga HAHAHA

Probably earbuds!

probably how happy i was back then OMFG yea im lonely now

probably just a leaf. i don’t have anything that special to me that holds any value.

Probably like a lego brick lol.

Probably like the one you see fall 🍂

Probably Mikasa

Probably my dog plushie

Probably my old Nintendo DSi

Probably my phone

Probably one of my cats

Probably one of my childhood lego guys

Probably Pieck, or a pretty gymnastic leotard or even a pretty necklace idk

Probably smarthpone, idk tbh

Probably something important and precious to me. But right now it's probably my phone, but I doubt it exist in Attack On Titan

Probably the pillow (I named it pillow pillow great name i know) that I brought everywhere with me as a child.

probably the same leaf

ps1 controller

Ps2

PS2 controller

Pussy

Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong

Re zero all arcs

Re:Zero

Reading new chapters of Attack on Titan every month

Regrets lmao

Reiner

Reiner's ass

Reiner's booty

reiner’s titties

Remembers

revival

Rose pin

roses

Running shoes

s4 by wit

Sand of the beach I used to visit when I was young with my mother and sister

scripture

Sea or a shell

Sea-water

Seriously, a gun.

shackle

Shadis

sheet music

shingeki no kyojin LMAO

Shiranai

shitty symbolism

shoes

Small rabbit statue

Sneakers

SnK manga

SNK manga volumes (lol)

Snk’s ending

Snow

Soccer ball

Some bird species

Some object related to track

Some type of memory. Or resemble a memory??

Something belonging to Erwin

Something from home

something my grandparents had given me! or maybe my mother's necklace

Something that tells you that life is worth living if not for the smallest of moments- I suppose it would be my phone lol.

Something that would symbolize my family.

Spaghetti

starfish

Still not sure yet

Stuffed animal

Sunflower

symbol of life

Symbol of life?

Talarico

Talk No Jutsu

Tea cup

tennis ball

that fucking POMEGRANATE

That life is what we see it to be, zeke wasn't looking for anything so he found nothing there except sand but armin was hopeful so he found whats meaningful for him

That's personal wtf 😂

The admin of aot wiki😳 seriously tho uhm probably a picture of my family or something

The Ao3 front page

The Bible

The first coin I earned myself (like in The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck)

The first volume of a niche little series called Shingeki no Kyojin

The Fucking Levi FIGURE THAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR 2 MONTHS

The hope

the HP wand I made from chopstick

the leaf could be the tree Eren, Mikasa and Armin where running from when they were still a kid or the tree Ymir fell into and got the titans power(?)

The leaf to me would look like a ring. My family gives me one every year.

The necklace my mom gave me

The nothingness

The novel I've writing.

The one he had seemed just fine.

The one under the tree, where it all began

The perfect ending, forever trying to live up to your own version it

The scarf

The seashell

The Sony PS5

The spine of Ymir

The tree

The unrevealed Ackerman and Azumabito plot line

The volume 17 manga cover back when things weren't completely terrible

There's still life and hope

This anime/manga bc I’m so attached to it

This caught me off guard. I don't know

This is a very hard question. I think to me it would show dog toys being my dog is the reason I'm still alive

This is probarly really sad but it would be one of the Aot manga books.

This isn't about me, this is about the manga chapter

This manga

This manga. I wouldn't mind being born again... if it meant being able to experience this story for the first time again... So I'll guess I'll thank you, Hajime Isayama.

This question has the same vibe as "what would you see on the mirror if Erised", therefore, I'm not sure

This series

This so hard but probably the ticket from the Twenty One Pilots concert I went to in 2019 (it was my first concert ever and the last one I went to before the pandemic)

This was actually a really nice question ;0;  To me the leaf would look like, there was a day where i drew Gionro it took 8 hours to others it may sound normal but to me I had so much fun drawing and coloring it. Also the first time i got a dog i was so happy for years i really wanted one and later on we ended GETTING ANOTHER dog and even a cat ;0; that was unexpected!!

Tits

To-do list completed

Too me the leaf would look like a soccer ball

Tray

Tulip

uhh, my phone? I don't have much on my life lmao

Um... I don't know to be honest. I mean does this have to be an object ? Can it be something else ?

ur mom

Very colorful, yet simple. I feel like I would be able to tell it’s importance just by the way Armin looks at it.

VHS copy of the 1977 animated Hobbit

vodka

Volleyball

Volume 30 of AoT

vv cool

waifu figure

water

Waterpistol

Weed

Weed pen

Well, damn, I don't know if I have one lol

What

What leaf? That's clearly a kite.

Who knows

Who knows hehe

Who knows lol.

Xbox controller

yam's balls

yo moma

You.

Your mom

youth and innocence

Zeke being alive and well, raised in a loving household

Zeke living

  THERE WERE A LOT OF STEPS TO SAVING ARMIN, WHICH WAS THE BEST PART? 2,058 Responses

There was some much loved teamwork this chapter. 25.9% of respondents enjoyed Mikasa’s relentless pursuit of the Okapi the most, closely followed by 25.7% who were impressed by Gabi’s continuing kill streak. 21.6% were glad to see Armin help to save himself, and 19.9 % were pleased to see Annie break Armin’s fall. Finally, 6.9% of respondents appreciated Connie saving Armin from another round of Okapi tongue action. Though sadly he didn’t get a mention in the comments!

I genuinely really liked the part where Gabi fired a perfect shot, I personally think she isn't as bad as people make her out to be.

Annie catching Armin was 10/10.

it was so cool to see the team work I'd always dreamed it would look like. Also Levi supporting Gabi was so cuute.

  WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE RETURNED SHIFTER MOMENT? 2,044 Responses

While all the returning titans had a moment of action, it was “Bertoldt saving Annie” that was top pic for favorite shifter moment with 40% of the responses. “Porco and Marcel together” was a distant second with 17.3%. “Freckled Ymir saving Reiner” closely followed with 17.1%.

BERTHOLDT IS BACK!!!!! REIBERT REUNION WHEN

Ymir (freckles) is my personal favourite, she could've said one line at least! Same goes for Kruger and Porco. Bringing people back to life is weird, not letting them comment on that is even weirder.

Grisha hit the gym in paths 😳

I genuinely didn't think we were gonna see freckles Ymir again, so that was a very pleasant surprise! I would have also liked for her to have some dialogue, but then again Historia hasn't had any dialogue in the present time either.

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SHIFTERS OF THE PAST REGAINING CONTROL OF THEIR TITANS? 2,117 Responses

The passed came back from the past to lend the alliance a hand! Now this moment was a little controversial. 42.5% thought it was awesome seeing our old friends take control of their titans to save their loved ones. 29.9% liked what the scene was going for but thought it needed more setup or foreshadowing. 18.9% were not happy at all to see such a shonen scene in this manga. Hated it, even! Despite the many strong feelings, there was still a group of those (8.7%) who didn’t really have an opinion either way.

I feel considerably less crazy about referring to the rumbling as ""basically Ragnarok"" now that we have dead shifters coming back from Valhalla-paths to fight in the rumblnarok.

While I expected the past shifters to help out the Alliance eventually ever since we saw crying Bertotototo, I thought it was a little rushed and could've used more build-up.

i want more porco and marcel lol

Pieck seeing the Galliard brothers must have been so hard. I can't begin to imagine how she felt. :(

I still don't understand how it is Zeke that brought the titan shifters back since he was busy thinking about his childhood. I kinda didn't like the ressurection ( not exactly ) of the dead titan shifters since it takes away the meaning of death of you are actually able to interact with them.

Kruger, Grisha, and freckles Ymir coming back to help the alliance??? What??? I get the others but not these 3. Either fanservice or something more is happening under the shadows.

This chapter continued to showcase some more of the past Titan Shifters throughout the ages. What was most interesting of the past Titan Shifters that appeared in this chapter to fight the past alliance members was that some of the same Titan Shifters that appeared during Ymir's flashback in Chapter 122 can be seen fighting the Alliance in this chapter.

I thought it was interesting to finally have Freckled Ymir's description of being a mindless titan get touched upon again. She said that it was like a never ending nightmare. All the shifters Ymir and Eren summoned were asleep in that nightmare, until Zeke and Armin were able to wake them up, if only for a brief amount of time. There was a reason we saw Bertolt crying after Armin ate him. And we were only reminded again in Chapter 135 when Armin saw Bertolt crying again. I don't think these shifters gaining some of there consciousness back is an ass pull at all. We were given some bread crumbs to believe that at least dead shifters exist in some way in Paths after death.

  NOW THAT WE HAVE SEEN KSAVER’S TITAN FORM IN ACTION HOW DO YOU RECONCILE HIM SAYING HIS TITAN ISN’T GOOD FOR BATTLE? 2,078 Responses

39.7% thought him saying his titan was useless was just a lie since he wouldn’t be allowed to pursue his interest in science otherwise. 33.6% figured he was telling the truth and his titan didn’t look that useful. 17.4% think that something truly weird like a whale would’ve served that point better (plus, imagine a whale trying to attack the alliance would be hilarious). 9.2% think it’s just an inconsistency (maybe Isayama realised a whale would’ve been *too* funny).

I want MORE OF TOMS GOAT SHEEP BEAST

No I'm not calling him Ksaver, I will die on this hill

  WHY DO YOU THINK WE HAVEN’T SEEN MORE SHIFTERS SIDE WITH THE ALLIANCE? 2,046 Responses

The shifter crew that appeared to join the alliance created some confusion among readers. Why, for instance  was Kruger there but not Frieda? Where was Lara Tybur? What was the deciding factor in whether or not a shifter returned for the battle? The most popular in world explanation was that  “Zeke could only awaken those he’d met before” (33.6%). It very  narrowly edged out the more practical reason “It’s so we only see the shifters the audience is familiar with” (32.1%). 16.9% believed the Founding and Warhammer couldn’t be used because those are Eren’s titans. And 14.1% believed the reason specific titans were brought back was ideological - they where the only ones who would side with the alliance.  

I am a bit disappointed that Kruger and Grisha are fighting for the alliance now. It just doesn't really make sense that the people who helped Eren get to this point would help stop him. I'm hoping that this isn't them acting independently and are just being controlled by someone.

Ymir is the one controlling all the titans. Why the fuck is she making them fighting eachother? The titans fighting was silly

With Kruger and Grisha helping the Alliance, at this rate, Carla will come back from the dead and disown Eren.

Eren Krueger would not help the alliance he would work with Eren him and Eren have done the same thing on different scales Krueger to the end was steadfast that he did the right thing

I have been thinking that what if we see Zeke's resurrected (or whatever thing you may call it) titan fighting alongside the Alliance?

  FINGERSTEIN? 2,074 Responses

A majority of 57.9% are ALL ABOARD the Fingerstein cart train. 27% seem a little perplexed at how this crack ship blew up from only a few panels together. Well - there’s your answer! 15.1% do not approve of Fingerstein.

Isayama goated with the Jeanpiku content tbh as he should

pikujean/fingerstein omg i ship but i ship mikajean also lmao dont @ me 😔🤚🏻

i’m so glad i got fingerstein content after my months of work for it

Fingerstein is the logical shipping of the only two characters with brains still alive.

That image of a horse and cart made me choke

Does jean like pieck or still inti mikasa?

Nice ship tease of Fingerstein from Isayama, Jean and Pieck are both good characters and deserve to be happy. ^^

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LEVI FINALLY FULFILLING HIS VOW TO SLAY THE BEAST TITAN? 2,118 Responses

Last month, Levi seemed prepared to give up on his promise to kill the beast titan and we as a fandom were as well. So congratulations to the 32.5% who correctly predicted that Levi might still make the kill on our 136 poll!

A majority at 52.1% were glad to see Levi get to fulfill his vow to slay the Beast Titan. After the many chapters of build up, it’s no wonder. 26.5% were just shocked he actually did it - seriously, how many years have we watched Levi ruminating over monke? 12.1% were disappointed and had wanted Levi to let it go. Don’t worry friends, fanfiction is always there for your Zevi coffee shop AU needs. 9.3% have nothing to say about it.

Where's the 'YAAAAS QUEEN' option for Levi killing Zeke tbh!!

I can’t believe Levi actually did it.

i saw the page where levi finally kills zeke before reading the chapter and I was upset bc major spoiler + it was v visually striking or whatever, so i was v pleasantly surprised that it still managed to take me by surprise. Levi is so savage !

After beheading Zeke, how would you read Levi's expression?

Anyone referring to Levi killing Zeke as "fanservice" is a loser who probably hates Levi for his popularity. Why should everyone else fight for what they want, while he gets nothing?

On Levi killing Zeke, I feel like that's narratively sloppy and only serves as some shitty ass way to make Levi relevant, since there isn't really much to his character anymore. Zeke brought the Titans back to help stop Eren, so technically he's apart of the alliance, right? So why does only he have to pay for his sins, and not anyone else who have committed genocide, partook in war crimes, or perpetuated animosity and hatred towards the Eldians?

Zeke is really dead? :((( I'm sad

I hoped Levi would give up on his revenge, but I liked how Zeke died.

I really liked this chapter but I still feel like something is up with zekie boi. He doesn't feel done yet

Obsessed with how Levi achieved his goal and wasn't even that happy about it. It was so funny to see people treat his vow as this holy grail he would only be happy and at peace if he gained and yet...wow. Doesn't look like the only thing that would make him happy was killing Zeke for Erwin after all huh? Imagine that.

  WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THE BEAST TITAN POWER NOW THAT ZEKE IS DEAD? 2,052 Responses

A perfect 50% slice of respondents think the Beast Titan is heading straight for Historia’s baby. After all, we haven’t seen any baby inherit any titan in the story; now’s as good a time as any. 37.6% think titan inheritance is done due to the probable end of the curse soon. 5.5% think with Falco being possibly the only titan alive with Zeke’s spinal fluid in him, the titan will be fully inherited by him. And there are many more thoughts on that subject!

Could someone still eat him? How "fresh" does a dead shifter have to be? ???

All this time I was thinking it will randomly go to a newborn eldian baby

back to the founding titan

Eren inherit  the beast titan

floch will be resurrected

Give it to Reiner

Dam. i wanted it to go to levi:))

honestly i don’t know i’m hoping it could be used in case anyone is like about to die yk? but if not i think falco could take it

i am still not sure zeke is dead tho. bet isayama will throw us a curveball like with the serumbowl, when 90% were already attending armin's funeral and then sic! it's erwin who gets the axe

I believe Eren will end the Titan curse and the Titan power will vanish

I believe that the power of the Beast Titan will vanish forever, together with the other titan powers.

i cant answer this, its either historia or falco.

i couldn't say not with Isayams bizzare ideas lmao

I don't think anyone will inherit it before the end of the series, but not necessarily because the curse ends. It's just who gets it will be irrelevant.

I don't think it's going to be important at this point.

I don’t fucking know at this point anymore lol

I dont think it will be adressed

I think zeke may come back, I still don't think he's done yet

im torn between the historia's baby theory where the baby will inherit it or falco will inherit it completely.

Inherited by Historia's baby if Zeke is dead... but that's a big if!

It was already transferred to Falco before Zeke died

It went to a random Eldian baby,  we probably won't get to know who that is by the end of the manga.

It's in a baby in the fort

Might just disappear.

No clue but this is still pretty stupid.

No clue, I just really hope it doesn't go to Historia's baby like a lot of people are theorizing because I'd prefer an ending where she/he is the first child in 2,000 years to be born in a world free of the titan's rule. It just sounds the most fitting to me.

The Beast power is going to pass through paths where Eren and Ymir are at. It's very difficult to predict even though Historia's baby is a nominee for it.

The beast titan will go back to Ymir in paths

The kid is going to transform in  the middle of being delivered, killing Historia in the process.

Since Zeke was fused with Eren's spine-bug-body, it might me transferred to him.

Why is it so sure that historias baby will inherit it? I mean it could be but is there no other Eldian giving birth ?

Ymir is too occupied with the rumbling and titans to send the power to a new beast. It’s be a bit too coincidental if Historia’s child gets it

Zeke convinced Ymir to return Eldia to monke. Everyone is now best titan

  KILLING ZEKE SEEMS TO HAVE STOPPED THE RUMBLING, AS THE ALLIANCE PREDICTED. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE FOR YOU? 2,112 Responses

In our chapter 133 poll we asked if killing Zeke would have any effect on stopping the rumbling and only 4.2% of people thought it would, so we aren’t sure whether to side eye these results or assume a lot of people had a change of heart in the last 4 months.

35.9% agree that Zeke was always the key linking Eren to the full Founder abilities, so his death would put the rumbling on hold. However, just a tiny fraction fewer (35.6%) think we need more info about this, given chapter 122 where Eren convinced Ymir to go with his plan. 16.5% think the halt in the rumbling is just part of a clever ruse by Eren. 12% think chapter 122 made it clear that the Founder’s powers no longer need royal blood, so this development doesn’t make sense.

Outside of killing Eren; Zeke dying seems like the only way the Rumbling could've been stopped. And with all the shows and movies I've seen with the 'leader/controller dies so army stops' it doesn't come across as cheap.

wtf is Eren doing ? If killing Zeke was the way to do it (which is quite weird since royal blood seemed no longer revelant as of 122, but alright, let's admit it), couldn't he have done something to prevent Zeke from leaving paths ????

It was a very confusing chapter. Ymir switching sides and Zeke's death stopping the rumbling made no sense. We need more information.

I really wanna know why the rumbling stopped

  WHAT BEST MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE LOTUS IMAGERY? 2,086 Responses

Was it symbolic or aesthetic? Functional or pure cinge? We had to ask about the usually lotus imagery that while beautifully drawn drew scorn from some parts of the fandom. 38.3% called it primarily symbolic, 37.1% saw it as purely aesthetic. 12.8% considered it “annoying Armin worship”, and 7.9% thinking it perhaps there was a functional reason for the character positioning. There where, of course, plenty of write-ins as well...

It looks sick af

In the final moments, Armin gave thanks to everyone around him for lending their strength. A lesser man might have claimed this to be HIS doing, since Armin indirectly triggered the whole turnaround. The humility is genuine and I respect him deeply for it.

xavier holding Armin was kinda cool but not really.

Quite possibly the worst panel in the manga, both in terms of composition (Bert’s hands are not that big) and theme (Kruger wouldn’t side with the alliance)

Something out of a satanic ritual for the crimson king

STAN ARMIN FOR CLEAR SKIN

Stupid Armin wank and the dialogue makes it cringe.

The panel is fine but the dialogue.... good lord, it makes me physically cringe

The positioning is aesthetic and symbolic, but also protective of Armin.

They're protecting Armin

Up until this moment I was so confused by who Xavier was holding. So it was Armin, makes sense, thanks.

This panel remembers me if a panel where ymir had a contract with the devil. I feel like Armin was like the messiah. Im not sure

A great set up to a huge blow to Eren

Aesthetics and function- if there were any of Eren’s goons still active, they could step in before it could get Armin.

agree with points 3 and 4 😭😭😭 please armin gets handed so much shit on a silver platter FOR WHAT

armin best boy don't hear you

ARMIN HELOS

armin king

Armin worship. Not annoying.

BEAUTIFUL INCREDIBLE JUST WOW POWER IF FRIENDSHIP

Its probably one of the best panels in the series, we just need Krueger and grisha motivations to be there

Kinda cheesy but at the same time beautiful

Didn't even realise it was lotus imagery. I thought it was just a cool shot

Don't have a huge opinion, it looks really cool and I bet there can be deeper meaning found in it.

I don’t really know to be honest but I thought the page looked badass

I have no opinion on this except wow grisha chest hair

I loved it! Armin definitely deserved such beautiful imagery. He is trully pure and kind hearted being who wishes for peace.

I think Isayama loves to imagine his panels in a museum or gallery one day.

CONFUSED

i thought it looked lame

I thought this scene was a bit corny

I'm already conflicted by who is standing here so I really don't know what to think.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE DEVIL THEORY.

It would be epic without Armong

It's aesthetic, but it also functions as a way to allow the alliance to escape the blast zone before Armin transforms. These titans protect Armin long enough to get everyone else out.

It's Armin supremacy😭😩

It's just cringe.

It's the GREATEST PANEL IN ALL OF THE MANGA. VIVA ARMIN!!!!

It's WONDERFUL and NECESSARY Armin worship

It’s a beautiful and touching image, but also a bit too much Armin worship.

It’s a reference to Naruto arriving at konoha to fight pain, that’s exactly what Armin is, a Naruto.

Xaver’s titan can be seen as a devil since it’s a Ram, he’s holding armin in his outstretched hands. I think this is what all the Ymir Apple foreshadowing is, Armin is the apple

probably mostly for aesthetic but also knowing isayama it's probably a bit more than that. i think it shows how armin and his ideologies are key. also, "The Lotus flower is regarded in many different cultures, especially in eastern religions, as a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. Its characteristics are a perfect analogy for the human condition: even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the Lotus produces the most beautiful flower." really fits aot ngl

  WHAT KIND OF BATTLE CAN WE EXPECT AGAINST THE SPINE CREATURE? 2,048 Responses

In yet another detour on the route to actually battling Eren, Reiner was seen wrestling the spine creature in the closing pages of the chapter. What kind of battle can we expect from this new challenger? 32% believe it will be a quick one since Armin will destroy it with his blast. 30.8% are not so optimistic, suggesting weird paths shit will happen first. 20.4% believe Reiner will have his Helos moment killing the creature with a spear. 9.3% selected a surprise Ymir with a steel chair.

Reiner will pierce it using one of the broken Eren bones as a spear like Helos personified

something creepy and disturbing will happen idk

Something creepy and mindblowing, no doubt.

The most powerful creature in aot will die by a single dramatic punch

The Spine creature is indestructible.

There won't be a battle against it.

a dumb one.

Reiner is Thor in Ragnarok fighting Jörmungandr, he is going to kill the creature and finish the Titans Powers, just to die soon after.

Both a battle and some weird Paths shit with Ymir

Reiner will die holding it back

Idk. Just hoping Reiner made it out alive.

Dear lord I have no idea, the only thing I know is Reiner Helos

If we get a fistfight a la Heaven's Feel I will cry tears of joy

It'll be inconsequential compared to Eren returning

It’s not the founding spine. The founding spine is with Eren on Paradis and once the alliance realizes that, it will be too late.

Its already dead, next chapter either Reiner is dead or he has a confrontation with Eren

It will be destroyed by Armin’s transformation

I think the explosion is the best chance for it to die, but I don't know if it'll go down that easy.

I think this is probably it for Reiner. After all he's endured, dying a heroic death would be good, despite me loving his character.

Dunno Reiner's all beat up i don't even know if he can withstand what that big ass spine is going to do

Either by using the warhammer spear to kill it , or some weird paths stuff (Maybe talking to Eren)..

Reiner will fucking die, hopefully

Reiner will keep pushing the spine creature back and tackling it to the ground to do all that he can to prevent it from reconnecting with the Founding Titan's head, and then Armin will land the finishing blow to destroy it thanks to the explosion from the  Colossal Titan's transformation.

Probably another asspull or power of friendship bs.

Punch it like Chris Redfield did with BOULDER

BIRD EAT WORM

Both Reiner and the spine creature will die in the Armong nuke

However way he deals with it, I hope he survives!!!

Can we even expect a battle against it? I was assuming it'd just drop dead sometime lol

who even cares at this point. Whether it is spine-kun or NPC shifters, I am tired of seeing the crew fight mindless opponents.

Why does it care so much about that head? That's not a joke question -- if that body's a Titan, it has options; and if it's a Warhammer construct, the whole thing is a means to an end -- so what does it have to lose?

  WILL REINER ACHIEVE HELOS STATUS BY DEFEATING THE SPINE CREATURE AND/OR EREN? 2,062 Responses

The stage is finally set and we will see if Reiner becomes the hero he once yearned to be. 38.7% of respondents think everyone’s a winner everyone was a part of playing the mythical role of Helos. 32.8% say simply that yes, Reiner will become a Helos figure in defeating the spine thing, or Eren, or both. 15.3% say no, for whatever reason Reiner will not become a new Helos. 13.3% think Reiner has already reached Helos status (the world is still in terrible danger but I like that positivity).

can’t wait to see Helos Reiner!!!

Reiner is my favorite character and I'm really torned between wanting him to die because that'd bring him peace, or wanting him to live to see his mom and take care of Gabi and Falco

I got the bad feeling that even Reiner Helos is going to add to that Mong bullshit somehow. I hope I'm wrong.

I'm hyped for next chapter because it will be the time for us Helos believers to rise, but I'm nervous, because I'm sure that it will come with Reiner's death and I'm not emotionally ready for that.

  IS EREN REALLY DONE, OR IS THERE ANOTHER ACE UP HIS SLEEVE? 2,098 Responses

A pretty solid majority of 62.2% think Eren has more fight left in him. Whaaat, really? Seems out of character. 17.8% think that he’s still in control of the situation, whether he’s dead or alive! 13.4% don’t think he can come back after Armin’s boom, and 6.6% think he may be out of ammo but that Ymir will keep up the fight.

Hope Eren isn't defeated

I think that eren is ready for all of this. Rather hes just die or have another plan but i hope at least the scout know that eren love them and doesnt have other choices.

I am on alliance side but I dont think the fight is over. I want a plot twist and more explanation esp about ymir

Shits an obvious bait lmao. Yams is gonna pull another sneaky on us like he has done since the very beginning. I still haven’t lost faith in Master Yama.

I want Eren to be alive, not because I “like the Rumbling” or because if I’m a Yeagerist (I’m actually pro Alliance), but because I like the story to make literary sense. To me, Eren getting beat in a single chapter after proving that he was incredibly OP was not good writing imo.

If this was genuinely the end, it would have absolute garbage, but every sign points to Eren winning. If you look at the chapter knowing the Avengers have already lost, it's great.

I really don’t think eren is dead. There is no way they would kill him without having any final words

  WITH THE ALLIANCE APPEARING TO HAVE THE UPPERHAND, SOME NEW THEORIES ABOUT EREN HAVE EMERGED. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DO YOU THINK HAVE MERIT? CHECK ALL THAT APPLY. 2,022 Responses

It wouldn’t be Attack on Titan without a host of new theories with each new chapter! We tried to grab the most common ones to see which had the most traction. A whopping 67% believe there is merit to the theories that Eren knew this was going to happen and it’s part of his plan. Nearly 40% are open to the idea that Eren is remote control powering his titan form from Paradis. About 34% are open to the theory that he’ll touch Historia’s baby to restart the rumbling and 24% haven’t discounted a Lelouch ending. Only 14% of the fandom believe it’s game over for Eren.

my theory is he's faking his death to see if peace is truly achievable - If the Marleyans try to kill the Alliance, the Rumbling will inmediately continue.

I'm holding out for Eren being hidden in the skeleton's ass. Don't get mad if your headcannon doesn't come true. Most people will probably enjoy the ending and that's fine.

Eren hiding like a fckin coward while people are trampled and his friends put their lives at risk for their own goals then Eren using a child to trample some more is the most ridiculous theory I've ever seen.

Eren might wake up and continue his path forward somehow

I hope big twist next chapter

i hope Eren doesn’t just pull a lelouch.

I hope Eren Yeager doesn’t die and I also hope he doesn’t love anyone from “Attack on Titan”

Eren's not done but rumbling won't start again.

Grisha will free Eren from the burden of his consequences that he started all those years ago.

Eren could've disabled the titans powers when he wanted but didn't so he's probably realizing somme illumination from his time with Ymir

Eren wants to die at the hands of the alliance

Eren would try to activate the rumbling again  but there could be a "Miscalculation" that could interfere with his goal (i.e... Historia's child probably inheriting the Beast Titan), Hange: "You said "fight" twice, does this mean it's a two round fight?" The rumbling will restart.

He knows everything that’s happening and he said he will keep moving forward so there’s no way he’s finished yet.

he probably WANTS them to stop him, because he can't stop himself, Honestly don't know, I just know he's alive, monke is dead :(

Eren is not in Paradis, if he was the plotline of Mikasa resolution about killing Eren would be wasted completely because it would avoid making Mikasa having to answer the question and develop a bit of character, despite being set up multiple time during this arc.

I think he has something else up his sleeve that probably isnt mentioned here.

There's so many people said that he will touch historia's baby. Idk i'm alliance but the theory make sense.. I hope not yeah..

What if he's done everything because he knew he would be defeated and that it'd bring peace? He's seen everything happen, if I understood correctly, so he knew he'd be defeated at some point. Maybe that'd mean it was all a part of his plan to bring peace, WHT power is plausible but I don't think he is controlling it remotely in Paradis (that would be a joke on him after all his "moving forward" speech and all). I was thinking about Eren doing the hardening like Annie did to save himself and probably have another card up his sleeve.

He still has some last moments to fight on his own at least, if need be

He wanted to be stopped.

He'll try one final thing, only to be stopped by Mikasa&Reiner for good.

He's actually asleep like we've seen in 131 and like we've seen 2 times before. Armin will talk with his child self in order to help him wake up. When he wakes up, he regrets everything.

he's gonna cry and come back. the end.

  EREN AND HISTORIA’S POVS ARE THE BIGGEST MYSTERIES REMAINING. WITH ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT, WHEN DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE THEM?

The fandom has far more confidence in getting Eren POV chapter than Historia’s with most respondents thinking we’ll get Eren’s perspective in the next chapter. Our fingers are crossed too!!

I hope we see Eren and Historia's POV next chapter

I just wanna know when we’ll see erens POV I feel like the alliance win is too good to be true. Feeling like there’s gonna be an upcoming twist

there should be eren's pov even though its just him inside the titan saying ARRRRRGGGGHHHH (LOL)

Im fucking dying to see Historia again my girl needs her POV of this shitshow

What we can still get is a conclusion on Eren's future memories, and possibly closing up the plotholes like why did Grisha give Eren his titans. Unless Isayama forgot. Maybe the reason Eren's POV is hidden from us is a SHOCKING plot twist that he planned for his nakama to destroy Hallucigenia-chan and stop the Rumbling. Because as we all know, Eren's new motto is ""I just keep snoozing forward, until I destroy, like, 50% of my enemies, and then I want to be stopped"".

We neeeeed Eren POV, we have too many questions

I'm really most interested in an eren pov.  I want to know what has been going through his mind this entire time and his opinion on the outcome

  IF THIS IS THE END OF THE FIGHT, WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE FINAL BATTLE? 2,106 Responses

If this was the final battle, were you satisfied? For close to 60% of the fandom that answer is yes, with 22.7% saying it surpassed their expectation and 36.6% selecting that while they’d have done some things differently they were satisfied overall.  On the negative end of the spectrum, 21.2% thought there was potential but it was cut short, while 9.5% consider this final battle stupid from start to finish.

I thought the final battle was over very easily, but it’s not a cliche shonen power of friendship win considering thousands of innocent people have already been crushed to death and the political situations with non effected countries will be a mess.

I really hope that wasn't everything

I really hope we get to see Eren have a final moment with the others, specifically with Armin and Mikasa.

We better get one last Reiner Vs Eren fight before this shit ends

It feels too wholesome for a final AOT battle...

It felt a bit too compact. The content could easily be expanded upon to create more impact.

If this is the end of the fight then the ending is pretty dogshit ngl, unless we get Erens titan vs reiner one last time

I really hope Reiner is okay :((

It was strong thematically and the battle was interesting.

Think about all the times a character has delivered their final blow with some snarky, raging or otherwise power-flexing way throughout SNK. When it was Armin’s turn to deliver a finishing blow, he did it with such humble humanity and... dare I say love (no, not ship-wise, just general love and respect for the “other side”). Guys, Armin really SHONE this chapter. Not because he took the spotlight, but because he went forth with love.

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,436 Responses

Our friend on Twitter, @hooveredbraunie, created a word cloud of responses from each of the 5 ratings from “Rate the Chapter”. We think it’s makes a perfect snapshot of the fandom.

Looking at the list in it’s entirely, yhe top five most chosen words are:

Amazing [71] Good [42] Monke [38] Epic [37] Awesome [28]

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 2,115 Responses

Eren. Alive. 36% are hoping the fight isn’t over. Eren talking to someone in his last moments is next with 18.7%. Of the less popular options are Historia (10.4%), Mikasa making her move (8.7%), Levi wondering what to do now that Zeke is gone (8.2% ), and someone, anyone,  in the alliance dying (6.1%).

Help i need answers😔

I HOPE WE CAN SEE EREN

Hange shard when Hange shard when Hange shard when

I just hope eren’s alive

i just hoped to see an alliance death but no

I just wanna see ymir with historia once again

I just want everyone to have a happy ending but that’s nearly impossible now

i just want historia

I'm just waiting for the next chapter for eren to appear

I just want Levi to die. He deserves to rest, god

I just want to see Reiner Bertholdt reunion

I really want Eren to have a final conversation with someone, preferrably Armin or Mikasa but at this point anyone will do.

I JUST WANT LEVI TO REUNITE WITH ERWIN IN SOME WAY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

Next chapter better be an Ererei talk istg

If Eren is going to lose can we at least get and alliance character dying? At least one!??

I just want to see in the next chapter if the fight is really over but with the WHT and

Please stay alive Eren T^T

pls don’t end :( i can’t emotionally take it :(

Historia's baby, it might not be yet.

I just need more answers 😅

I JUST WANT THE REST OF THE ALLIANCE STAY ALIVE!!!! AND ALSO EREN!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,954 Responses

While Twitter (56.1%), Reddit (41.7%), Discord (24.9%), YouTube (20.5%) and Instagram (16.4%) are still the top platforms for discussing Attack on Titan, TikTok (12.5%) , in its debut on the poll, beat out Tumblr (11.2%), Facebook (7.1%) and a whole slew of other platforms.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 663 Responses

Hey there!

I’m so scared lol😀

I’m surprised my fav characters are still alive

Is eren and reiner alive?

I'm still hoping that they can have a happy ending. The deserves it after all the fights.

I've heard so many different theories on how this series could end and now that we are on the final chapters almost nothing has gone with my expectations. I was blown out of the water with how this final fight went. With expectations for this series so high its impossible for it to satisfy everyone. But I'm really happy with how everything turned out. A lot of plot threads are being closed up in satisfying ways and I'm content with the character development everyone is getting.

There are a few things I've been disappointed about, like the lack of Eren's point of view. But I'll hold off judgment till the series ends. I think i'll enjoy rereading this section of the story once it's finished. I caught up with the manga around 117 and waiting monthly for these chapters was made everything seem longer that it probably actually was. Overall I'm happy with how everything went.

Zeke sort of reminds me of Johan from monster. both had a messed up asf childhood and life in general. both didn't find pleasures in life at all, like simple pleasures like tea or coffee to life and people. Because they knew for themselves life had no meaning. therefore both of them could do basically whatever they wanted sorta bc life had no meaning to them and was destined to go extinct if that makes sense. To them, their actions were justified bc they had no meaning in life. But armin, this hope in the world, also knew the world was cruel. however he chose to find pleasures in it rather than distrusting it all together. He found hope in his friends and reading and more, even if it meant getting hurt by people. I believe armin will talk. This chapter messed me up man. Zeke used to be my least favorite character cause he was weird but now he's one of my favs. His death was def one of the hardest for me. ugh what a beautiful chapter. I wish they all found meaning in life before.

Where is the scarf?

Just a reminder we haven't had Ackerman immunity to mind wipes become relevant yet! It's time, Mikasa.

what the heck is going on

WHERE IS HISTORIA BABY.

reiner helos gallirei canon zeke supremacy gabi gang hoes mad

Gabi has lots of potential, and it was smart to have her as a character study. I mean, not only do we get the perspective of a brainwashed child of war, but through her, it was shown that it's possible to end all conflicts through forgiveness. She is also a replacement for sasha (sharpshooter). Levi is no shooter, but I hope he takes Gabi, and/or the other war kiddies, under his wing. I hope Levi could find another purpose, and I'm imagining being a trainer/teacher best suites him. He cares a lot and gives good guidance with his experience and wisened words…

Gay Ymir please come back and marry your wife

Honestly, I was always kinda neutral towards Zeke. Never really loved him, never really hated him. Hated what he did to the Scouts and subsequently to Erwin, but that hate really didn't last long. He was just kinda...there for me. He was an interesting character, and brought a lot to the series, but I guess it wasn't until the chapter with him and Eren as they went through his and their father's memories (the BIG chapter) that I started to warm up (?) to him. I don't know, it's hard to explain how I really felt about him overall. I will admit though, that his death, although very sudden with Levi coming out of nowhere lol, was impactful and I think a really poetic end for him. Him finally realizing the true meaning of living, seeing the beauty of their cruel world at the very end, and helping to bring an end to the Rumbling, left a very good impression on me. So, in the end...I liked Zeke. He was a good character.

Zeke and Armin's talk is... decent, I guess. Like everything in the final arc, it suffered from bizarre pacing issues, so while the core of the talk is decent, we essentially have Armin changing Zeke's entire worldview with 1 small speech. Then SUDDENLY DEAD PEOPLE COME BACK TO LIFE LEVI BEHEADS REINER HELOS ARMIN NUKE RUMBLING IS STOPPED... why the hell did we get two fanservice battle chapters just that all this gets stuffed into one?

I want Levi alive. So he can open his dream tea shop. I want him happy

I was happy to see Ksaver's titan, Armin and Zeke's talk moved me, and I'll admit I never thought the spine creature was sentient until this chapter. I'm sad the series is ending. What do I have left to look forward to each month?

Reiner Helos oh shit

I am very disappointed that is all. I feel betrayed to just read shounen battle manga story at the climax of the story. I thought Trost is over. And trost had less of the naruto tropes.

i can only hope that all the characters can live and end with a happy ending, this is ridiculous, but I hope it ends with a happy ending

I can see why some people wouldn't like it but I personal loved it

I can't answer 50% of this, I think my thoughts are unique lmao

I can't believe we are nearing the end... AOT has been with me for years. It has been a steady companion that has asked me to reflect on my morals and convictions. It has presented different points of view to me that I had to engage with. It has helped me shape my views on the world we are living in. I don't think I am ready to say goodbye to AOT yet. But I have to.

i miss eren

I miss monke

I miss zeke

I NEED MORE

I NEED MORE ANSWERS

I need more chapters, man.

I really don't get the hate for it

I really don't like Armin

I realy don't now what iysyama doing

Wish Hanji was still alive

Worst chapter of the entire series. If eren was actually defeated, and being defeated wasn't his intention, this chapter ruined the series and his character.

I sympathize for baby Zeke's struggles and the trauma he had to experience but honestly he ain't special in this manga, everyone has a sad fucking backstory. He was a pathetic little sadist, always puffed up about how Clever™ he was for double-crossing people and yet never seeing the obvious betrayal coming from Eren. I know the justification for that is "aw he cared for his baby brother uwu" but that was what made him so pathetic - for all his posturing about being smart and pragmatic for the Greater Good (which was his justification for the euthanasia plan) he was just as emotional and fallible as all the people he looked down on. His lack of self-awareness and depth of selfishness disgusts me. This ending was too good for him. He died as a martyr and he deserved much, much less. Tbf, for baby Zeke's sake, I am glad he got to see some happy memories of Xaver towards the end, but I thought his death was tasteless and a slap in the face of all the people he murdered before. (*ahem* Mike)

Suddenly grew a soft spot for zeke.

Zeke is honestly such a masterclass in character writing and it is so impressive that Isayama has written so many amazing characters. I started out really hating Zeke for what he did to Miche, and that impression carried for a long, long time, even until it was revealed that he had his own agenda, that he might be playing the long game helping Eldians, I didn't believe it because of what he did to Miche. In fact, it was Eren's cooperation with Zeke that made me turn on Eren post-timeskip. When we got that hint of Zeke backstory, I was actually kind of miffed. Like no way, Isayama, you're not going to make me sympathize with Zeke. Not happening. Yet, after I read the chapter, my thoughts were Grisha is a shit dad. Absolute shit dad. Anyway, I was still glad Eren bested Zeke in Paths, though once the Rumbling activated, I realized that I agreed with Zeke's plan better. So he's really become an interesting character for me, and I was even really excited to see him return at the end of last chapter. I still don't like him very much, but he is incredibly compelling and interesting, and I'm definitely a bit more forgiving of his earlier actions. Miche's death still sucked though.

Zeke is one of the most well written character of all time

Zeke is so fucked up, but he's hilarious and extremely meme-able. He's a tragic, well-written character who committed monstrous acts. If he didn't die here, he should have been locked up for the rest of his life.

Zeke is such a underrated but sad character. He truly taught his plan was the best Eldians. He was brain wash from his own parents and send them into pure titans, while his half brother had a normal childhood. In the end, he sacrificed himself to defeat Eren.

Zeke is super smart and very strong man ; he was defending his own past and his own sadness ; but he lost when he tried to follow his wrong feeling of sympathy toward eren ; he was thinking that he is a victim either from their father; this makes him lost everything he lived for until this moment..

Zeke is very great and one of the most important character to the story, his development also very good, i'll miss him

Zeke jeager was of course the first of the two jeager brothers and surprisingly the first son of Grisha I think as Hajime Isayama presented him it was awesome but I still not sure about his death is he really dead or is there any twist left in the last two chapters but still 🤞🤞 let’s see what is left in the series.

Zeke just wanted the eldians to be free but the way he wanted to make them free was wrong. That’s why I didn’t like him that much. But I think right now I’m sad that he had to die.

Zeke made many decisions in order to achieve his goal of ending the painful cycle of Eldian life, and because of that I feel sorry for him. I feel sad that he felt that he needed to make those decisions, and I’m glad that he was able to finally see the beauty in life at the end.

Zeke's a very interesting character to me. I love the irony of Grisha teaching him how cruel the world is in the hopes that it would radicalize him, only for it to make him wish he was never born. The guy never got the chance to just be a regular kid, except for when he was with Tom Ksaver. Tom acted like a parent should to a child, and as such Zeke ended up following through on Tom's vision rather than Grisha's. He was supposed to save the Eldian people, but came to the conclusion that it would be better if they were wiped out. I'm glad his past was brought up again in 137 where Zeke was contrasted with Armin. Zeke was born into a role with high expectations, compared to Armin who earned his expectations through repeated successes. Armin was able to grow up as the regular kid that Zeke wishes he was. His past traumas also lead him to project his own insecurities, which we can say by his assumption that all Eldians are born to suffer, and in thinking that Eren was brainwashed by Grisha, both of which aren't necessarily true. Overall I'd say Zeke is one of my favorite characters in the series, and I'm just scratching the surface of why I like him so much.

Zeke was used by others in some way, over his entire life. The restorationists goals. Kusaver using him to ease his own guilt. Marley’s military. Eren as well. I can’t help but wonder how he could have turned out if anyone had sincerely given a fuck about his own happiness.

Hate that Historia is continuing to be ignored.

I feel happy that most people are ok, but I just know that it can't last long. I hope they get a fast death at least if it all goes to hell;-;-;

I feel like eren is going to get his full freedom

I feel like it was mega rushed

I feel like people need to chill out quite a bit. Big surprise, the ending does not go according to your theories, who might’ve predicted that? Please take a moment to clear your head of the entitlement you might have accumulated in the last months, sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride. No need to get so angry over every little detail. And if you can’t even do that? You’re free to leave, but please stop spreading hate everywhere, thanks!

I feel like the reaction was so overblown. We have more chapters left, people shouldn’t disown the series now

I haven't cared about the direction this story's been going in since timeskip so I'm just along for the ride

i hope everyone will die at the end

I hope I could get inside that universe

I hope the ending won't be another typical ending like naruto with UMI DA. Whatever it is, I trust in Isayama who is a master in twist somewhat definitely can't wait for the next chapter :)

WTF Cringevangers could defeat him easy like that.. when they fight with yeagerist Annie and Reiner got heavy damage but fight against 9 Titans ? This is too easy to win.. they have not more sacrifice

Yams has done an impressive job tying this work as a whole, in terms of plot, character development, and themes

I hope there's chance for annie and armin being together because i've ship them since season 1 huhu

I hope this isn't a set up for talk-no-jutsu. One thing that set SnK apart from other fantasy/supernatural shonens was the least use of talk-no-jutsu (it was there way early in the manga and anime but still it was least). Overall, I guess when more information/clarification could've been given, we got more talk and a dissatisfying death, I expected more.

I hoped Armin would have escaped PATHS using a big brain plan

I hoped Mikasa would cut Eren out and feed him to Gabi

I just hope eren isn’t dead so that we can get one more plot twist of the series

I want everyone to be happy in the end please

I want levi to be able to tell Eren what he wanted to say to him :))))

it is mostly about zeke and armin but the other characters were also amazing, it is sad to see levi killing zeke with that expression, I'm not sure why but he is like anger to sad. anD MY ARUANI HEART OMGG, ISAYAMA DON'T KILL THEM PLS, JUST ONE COUPLE PLS T_T and additional, we are really not sure where's eren, is he really that head? what might happen next like will he continues the rumbling? who's the father of historia's baby? I hope it will be cleared in the next chapters, Im exciteddd!!

It kinda sucked.

It left a permanent stain on the name of the series, even if the ending is godlike or even if eren wins how the fuck are you going to explain this bullshit that makes zero sense and gives me vibes of a fanfic writer making it?

It left unanswered questions

It left us with more questions than answers, and I hope we get them soon. But it was satisfying overall

i love you isayama🥰😍😘 (pls don’t kill armin or mikasa i cant take this anymore🤣😁🤪🤩)

It makes me question "what will the alliance do next? Is Eren still alive? What happens to Historia?" Next chapter should answer all of that.

It ould have been longer to flesh out each scenario and make it more believable, Zeke's change would be better if a few pages more was used to add more detail to his change. The fight scene should be fine as it is. As for the death of Zeke it needs to be longer, it would have made the audience much more sattisfies, his death is a turning point and it could have played out better if Isayama paid more attention to it. But overall I enjoyed it.

it was absolutely amazing and has a great impact especially on armin, eren and mikasa

It was actually great and I think it's setting up the tone for something big in the next chapter

Truly devastating

u/animew3eb was here

It was all just so rushed and convenient- levi killing zeke like it's nbd, zeke being dead completely stopping their problem, all these random dead people coming back to life it's like - what is this? why rush things this much in the last 3 chapters?  i'm hoping isayama has something up his sleeve but the power of friendship defeating eren's still as of yet unexplained character change has left me super disappointed.

It was amazing as always and still leave me confused on certain parts but that's okay i will understand everything after it ends

It was an alright chapter, about what I really expected, as much as I'd like to I never thought Eren would win and the chapter ended the way I thought it would. With so much negativity surrounding this chapter hopefully the next chapter and the finale will ease people's mind, some people just need to remember this is a Shonen not a Seinen of course the alliance were gonna win.

It was awesome I just hope the last 2 chapters can emphasise this chapter and give it a bit more meaning

It was good definitely unexpected. If next chapter we don't see eren's POV than chapter 137 is bad.

It was good even if cheesy, looking towards 138.

It was good. Had some great moments like Reiner vs the spine creature and Levi fulfilling his promise. Zeke’s ending was really good too. But feel like a lot of potentially pivotal stuff happened with not the best delivery of explaining how/why. This may be revealed more in the final two chapters though so I won’t judge

It was good. The way we got emotions and fight scenes all in one chapter is another peak fiction writing skill from Isayama. As a lot of people think tho, some things shown in the chapter were confusing and kinda out of context, but I guess we'll gonna have all the answers in the last 2 chapters. Ngl, there was some obvious plot armor there in the Alliance side but I think Isayama already gave us enough suffering to ask for more deaths (man, just the thought of how EMA might end after this is more than enough). The ending will definitely define if AOT will go down at the best manga/anime of all time.

It was great! There are a lot of questions unanswered tho

it was great. i got goosebumps but knowing that there are only two chapters left i am really still wondeeing how things would end. knowing a lot of theories are circling on the internet i am also still confused of what will happen next so i am really looking forward on the fina chapters. uuuuuuu i dont want aot to end thoooo 😭

it was kinda confusing but it was really cool

It was kinda lame, I don’t want characters winning through power of friendship.

It was predictable, but the manner in which it was done was very good. I have more mixed feelings for eren since there is a possibility that he is dead.

It was really good, Although I side with eren, it was nice seeing the alliance getting a win

We surprisingly DIDN'T find out about the outcome of the standoff at fort Salta; last month I was sure leaving it as a cliffhanger was a waste of time since it was obvious that they were going to cooperate and aid the Alliance, but now that the Rumbling has been stopped, Maybe the twist next chapter is that the warriors arrive to see their loved ones dead/dying at Marleyan hands?

We're just rehashing the same lessons of previous arcs and we're just supposed to have conveniently forgotten them...both the feeling of powerlessness/futility of living and the message of "true freedom is..." were already covered by Eren himself back in Uprising and then in his convo with Shadis about what Carla wanted for him. Yams are you telling me he didn't learn a thing and we gotta see other people come to the same conclusions? Ok..........

Were in the Endgame now. Eren's seeming death is used to subvert expectations and is from the POV of Armin. He said goodbye to Eren expecting for him to die from the explosion, e does not say it as fact.

What a stupid chapter for my birthday.

While answering a couple questions, this chapter also made me realize that I didn't understand shit :) Maybe once the manga has ended and all my questions are answered, I will finally succeed in understanding this masterpiece.

I'm honestly shocked. I mean, every chapter got me shocked, but DAMN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S GONNA COME TO AN END SOON WAAAAAAAAAAAH

Again, this this wasn’t enough the full list on write-ins, all 131 pages, are available. View as doc or pdf.

Thanks as always for your support of the community poll <3

[bts-hyperfixation]

Innocence - kinktober - day 13

Jin X virgin f!reader

Pretty vanilla, female oral, protected sex because we are sensible in this house

You’d been dating Jin for three months now. Every moment you spent with him seemed perfect. The boy truly was the sweetest and funniest person you think you have ever met. You knew he was the one from the second date… well maybe not THE one, it was way to early to make those assumptions, but he was the one you were going to lose your virginity to. There had been other boys you’d thought about giving yourself to in the past, but something always felt off with them. Turned out you were right in every case. Each one of your past boyfriends had taken it as a challenge to break you when you told them you wanted to wait. Some had even broken-up with you on the spot. Not Jin though.

The two of you were watching a movie in your living room. By watching you mean it was definitely playing but could not for the life of you remember what was actually on the screen. No, you and Jin were more invested in exploring each-other’s mouths. It had been about half an hour of heavy petting before his hands started their trail south, playing with the waistband of your jeans. Immediately you withdrew, taking a deep-breath and readying yourself for another awkward and potentially relationship ending conversation.

“Is something wrong?” his eyes searched yours for a reason to your sudden apprehension.

“It’s just I want to wait…” you’d trailed off unsure of how much to reveal in such a new relationship, you watched to gauge his reaction.

“That’s okay we don’t need to go any further, I know it’s pretty early” he settled back like he was going to focus back on the movie and motioned for you to cuddle back into his side. The instant acceptance gave you the courage you need to continue.

“Jin… I’m a virgin, I really like you so far but I need to wait, and I really hope that doesn’t change how you feel right now, because I really want this to work and it doesn’t usually go well for me at this point and…” he cut you off by putting a hand on your cheek and making you meet his eyes.

“I will never pressure you to do anything, if you want to wait then we’ll wait” he shrugged and pressed his lips against yours for a much more chaste kiss than before.

Now you were three months later, in a similarly compromising position on his bed. You’d decided over a week ago that this was going to be the night. Bought new underwear, shaved all over, and wore a new perfume. It was probably going more than overboard but you couldn’t help it. The two of you had spent the day walking around beautiful gardens before returning to his for take-out and a movie. You’d been worried he would sense your nervous energy and ruin the surprise, but you’d managed to keep yourself relatively calm until now.

You were lay out on his bed. Jin had you pinned underneath him, kissing down your throat and playing with your chest through your shirt. It suddenly felt like you were just horny teenagers. You’d gotten so in your head about what you were going to do that in the moment you froze a little. There were so many ways you thought about instigating it. Pushing him down on the bed and unbuttoning his trousers (this option was out due to your current placement). Undressing for him, revealing yourself intimately while he watched (This idea created to many variables and opportunities for him to reject you). Having an in detail discussion of exactly what you wanted and were expecting from your first time (Somehow the thought of being this emotionally vulnerable with someone was scarier than the physical vulnerability).

In the moment you settled with just going for it. One of your hands snaked down between your bodies and you fumbled with the button on his jeans before he pulled away from you a little.

“Y/N what are you doing?” he can’t help but chuckle a little at your attempt.

“I don’t know” you bury your face in your hands as you feel the blood running to your cheeks “I was trying to be sexy I guess? I just didn’t know how to tell you I was ready and I guess I thought this might be the best way? It was stupid and I shouldn’t have tried it just forget about it” you could feel yourself rambling but were unable to stop the flow of verbal diarrhoea coming out of your mouth. Luckily Jin took this opportunity to pull your hands away and kiss you again.

“Are you sure you are ready Jagi?” you nod shyly, and the man takes your hand and leads it to his lips, kissing your knuckles carefully. “I need words from you baby”

“Yes… I want to, I really want to” with your conformation is mouth trails up your arm sending shivers down your spine.

“Then let me take care of you” he moves to straddle your legs pulling you up so he can remove your shirt before letting you lay back down. “Your bra is so pretty Jagi… did you wear this just for me?” you nod as he drags his tongue along your cleavage. “What did I just say Y/N, I need words, I need you to tell me everything, what’s okay what isn’t… and I definitely need you to tell me if you bought this just to show off to me today” you can feel his smirk against your chest at the thought of you going out of your way to please him.

“The panties match” is the answer you give. It’s your attempt to regain a little of the upper hand. Although, as he shamelessly places kisses all over your upper body, you’re not sure it’s something you want to have.

“This is something I need to see.” He makes his way down your body to unbutton your jeans. You fidget uncomfortably as he pulls your pants down, leaving you exposed in just your lingerie. He lets out a deep sigh as his eyes rake up your body. Only to find that you had a pillow over your face in embarrassment.

“So beautiful” he breaths as he pulls the pillow from your clutches “Don’t hide from me, not ever” the look in his eyes is so soft that it puts you completely at ease. You relax under his gaze and put your arms out to summon him back to you. He obliges, catching your lips for another kiss. He uses one arm to support his weight over you while the other explores your almost nude body. His finger trail playfully down your side. The sensation causes goose bumps to form along his path. He hesitates briefly at your underwear, before placing his hand purposefully in the centre of your clothed sex. You whine as he traces his middle finger along the damp line of your folds.

“So needy for me baby” he croons “So innocent, yet so… wet” his voice is low in your ear, barely above a whisper, but its more than enough for you to experience another wave of arousal.

“Jin… I…” still unsure of yourself, you struggle to vocalise what you need. He waits for you expectantly. “Jin I want you to touch me… properly” the vocalist required no more prompting as his fingers hook around your panties and dive into your damp core. His thumb plays with your clit for a little while before his pointer finger delves into your hole. The slight stretch feels foreign. Obviously, you’ve explored yourself before, but the feeling of someone else’s fingers was something else entirely. The angle of his hand could reach depths that you had only attempted alone. As he pumped the digit in and out, moans tumbled freely from your mouth. While your eyes were closed in pleasure, he wiggled his way down the bed so he was now eye level with your sodden cunt. He pulled his finger from you, making you clench around nothing. You hadn’t realised he had moved until then.

He makes eye contact with you and licks your juices off his fingers, letting out a little moan at the taste of you. He fully removes your underwear before sucking your clit into his mouth. He plays with the sensitive bud as his finger finds its way back into your folds. This time two digits find their way inside. The feeling burns. Yet it feels so good. His tongue teases you, drawing small shapes into your tender flesh. Your stomach tenses as your lower half tightens, orgasm imminent. You wrap your hand in his hair; no longer caring so much about how you were coming across. Your reaction spurs him on. His fingers curve against a soft spot inside of you. For a moment it feels like you might wet yourself it feels that good. Your high hits you hard and you are left writhing and panting. His fingers keep fucking you through the pleasure, but he takes his mouth away, opting to watch your face contort instead.

“Are you doing okay?” his genuine concern turns you on more than you ever thought it could. You nod in response still trying to catch your breath but manage to earn yourself a playful smack to your thigh.

“Yes” you pant, struggling to get any words out. He sits back on his heels to admire your fucked-out expression. You manage to get yourself to a functional level again a sit up to meet him. You play with the hem of his shirt signalling for him to remove it. He does so instantly, and your hands fly to trace along his happy trail. This time you have no issues undoing his jeans. He kicks off the offending article, his boxers joining his puddle of clothes shortly after. You gape at his cock, rock hard and a little bigger than expected. The prospect both terrifies and thrills you. You reach for it automatically, in an almost trance like state. He stops your hand in its tracks.

“I said I was taking care of you tonight, there will be plenty of time for me later” You pout but allow him to lie you back anyway. He reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a condom. “Tell me if you need me to stop” he places a chaste kiss on your forehead before lining himself up. The tip of his cock presses against your entrance. Slowly, he pushes himself in. You choke back a small sob as the stretch burns a little too much. He pauses immediately. “Do you need me to pull out? Do you want me to stop?” his concern evident all over his face. You shake your head.

“No just give me a second” Your voice is weak, but your resolve is not. A few seconds later the burn has faded and now you just feel full. “Okay try again” this time he pushes in a little faster. It seems the worst bit has passed. He stays buried in you, content to be sucking little purple marks into your shoulder as you wriggle, testing out the new sensation as you become accustomed to it. You signal for him to start moving and he does, carefully at first. As your small squeaks turn to full moans of pleasure, he increases his speed. Thrusting into you and chasing his own high. Your own hand comes between the two of you; you start rubbing furiously at your clit. Anxious to reach your second orgasm. It isn’t too long until Jin’s hips are stuttering, his rhythm faulters as hot cum spurts into the condom. The feeling of him spasming inside of you pushes you to the edge.

He waits until you come down to pull out, pressing feverous kisses all over your face. He removes the condom and ties the end throwing in a near by trash can. He then lies back on the bed and motions for you to cuddle into him.

Kinktober

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