#jd lunch

[feralportalmaster]

Just Dance ship idea:

🍏🍒

[lamelarts]

I could eat that girl for LUNCH 🫢🍒

This routine is super funnn especially at the end ahhh i love it dhjjd i also like that they included the piano move from the mv 😩👏 i also love the bg at the store jdjdjd idk it just clicked me how packed and busy looking that store is with all the decorations and banners 👏🍒 bhdjd one of the best maps 💜

[averokagejd]

if i had a nickel for every sapphic xuxu played in just dance 2025 id have 2 nickels which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice

[blade-that-was-broken]

@endlesspaint

[never-goingtopostanything]

Food poisoning

Brezziana once got an awful case of food poisoning and almost died when she was ten. Her mum and step-dad stayed in the hospital wit her the entire time she was there.

[aboutmercy]

reading 4 books at once, soon it will be 5 if i don’t finish one of them by this week.

[fvckandkill-20]

He wants your lunch money

[wtfjd95]

Pretty sure my bloodstream had been replaced by Monster energy drink this last week alone.

How the fuck haven't I collapsed or passed out at work yet?

[theteaisaddictive]

truly drives me wild seeing various tiktoks of american nurses and doctors getting into their scrubs at home before travelling to work for the day. like wtf do your hospitals not have a uniform policy.

[hellyeahheroes]

S11 E22: School Lunch & J.D. Vance: 9/8/24: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

[tenth-sentence]

We were going to take our lunches and all, and our BB guns – we were kids and all, and we thought we could shoot something with our BB guns.

"The Catcher in the Rye" - J. D. Salinger

[ohposhers]

my friend Lunch is obsessed with JD's concept design so she decided he's the Mario to JD's Wario and his name is Lohn Bory anyway do i draw them kissing or no

[remotewatch]

can’t hit it one time, multiple

Jack Schlossberg x reader | 2.9k wc

minors dni but still get involved and stay informed politically let me be clear

summary: volunteering is so rewarding! being a part of a cause you believe in, educating first time voters, getting dicked by the campaign’s eye candy on your lunch break; it’s got everything!

cws: shameless classic 1D style smut, bus rocking, wrap it before you tap it on THE Harris campaign reproductive freedom bus (is it legally actionable to call it by its govt name), whatever the hell is going on with the JD videos cranked up to 100, reader calls him both diva and a slut, both not totally serious, his tripod is your wingman, this Barbie tastes like clementines, semi public sex I GUESS, sub!jack SOMEWHAT

many thanks to my editor (and co-writer this time around) @mystardustmelodyyy for the organizing and romantic flair 🩵🗳️

additional thanks to Jack and the team for the inspirational Philly content, do keep it up !!

Although your day of volunteering had been nothing terribly exciting so far- setting up chairs, guiding people to their seats, a LOT of directing lost families to the bathroom- the whole town hall was thrumming with a sense of hope that felt nothing short of electric. You didn’t realize how busy you’d been until you finally got a chance to sit down and make up some gift bags. That took no time at all, leaving you a nice free chunk of the day to wander around and soak up the atmosphere. There had been rumors of a free gelato truck, and the empty breezeway pointed to them being true. The sharp thwap of sambas slapping onto marble snapped you out of your daydreaming; almost empty, apparently.

As you rounded the corner, you spotted the source of the racket: America’s most polarizing nepo baby. Filming… a stunt of some kind? He takes a running start into a front flip, landing close enough to his tripod to throw it off balance. After repositioning it and trying again, his shoes slip in a puddle on the floor, forcing him to splay out a hand to avoid falling onto his ass.

You were well aware of Jack’s work; your feed was convinced you were precisely his target demo and had been pushing his content onto you since July. Maybe it wasn’t totally off base. Regardless, watching him struggle to land a perfect somersault was much more endearing than the finished videos. When he stands up for a third attempt and manages to tangle a tripod foot up with his pants in the process, you’re unable to suppress a fit of giggles.

“Are you winning over there, diva?”

Jack looks a bit sheepish when he first glances up but recovers quickly. He adjusts the tripod and hits you with the same smile your algorithm insists makes you weak.

“I think it’s still too close to call.”

“Did you want some help with the…whatever it is you’re recording?”

One of the tripod legs abruptly gives out, the clatter echoing around the breezeway. Jack winces and nudges the fallen hunk of fiberglass with his shoe.

“Yeah, that would be great, if you don’t mind.” Five long strides over to you and he’s pressing his phone into your hands, camera already open. “If you’d just follow- well, you saw what I was trying to do.”

You can’t say if it’s the pressure of a live audience of him being fed up with his previous attempts, but Jack flips perfectly into frame this time, proceeds immediately to an immaculate standing backflip, then takes off towards the other end of the breezeway without so much as glancing at the camera. He leaps up and clicks his heels a few steps in, only turning around when you’re starting to wonder if he’s just ditching the shoot altogether.

“How was that?” He shouts on his way back over.

“Looks good!” You have no earthly idea what he was going for, but it fits right in with the absurdist athletic vibe he’s been rocking with between his more overt political content.

“Aw, that’s great. Thank you!” he beams at you after looking over the footage (you try not to focus on how small the phone looks in his hands). “The lighting is perfect too.”

“Oh, good!” Thank god. “Did you need help with anything else?”

Jack rolls his eyes mischievously like he's considering letting you in on a huge secret. “I was actually going to film a thing or two for JD if you’ve got an extra minute.”

“For that? Absolutely!”

His grin stretches wider to match yours at that response, and you realize you’re smiling at each other like two idiots.

“I’m Jack, by the way.”

He repeats your name back after you introduce yourself, and you wish he’d do it again so you can keep watching his lips move saying it.

🔹🔹🔹🔹

This time, Jack gives you slightly more direction, guiding you to hold the phone at an angle just high enough to skew provocative as he leisurely strolls backwards through the hallway. You don’t need to coach him into angling his head just right to catch the afternoon sun in his eyes; he’s got the bambi look down pat.

“JD, I really miss you. Won’t you come home so we can be a family again?” He motions just out of frame for you to aim higher, but you’re already adjusting the shot before you see his signal. “You said I shouldn’t be voting because I’m not a dad like you. Is that true, JD? Or are you making up stories again?”

Jack glances backward to check if there’s enough room for him to keep up his pace, then breaks for a second to ask “Alright, one more?” The two octave difference almost makes you drop his phone, but you keep it together and nod.

His eyes crinkle up adorably when he smiles. “Sweet.” Then he’s back to business, eyefucking the camera like he just got out of prison.

“JD, I thought you knew everything, and you told me that I should never lie. How am I supposed to trust you if I don’t know when you're telling a story or not?”

You stick your bottom lip out and mouth “more”; he happily obliges. Jack looks every bit the foxy little public servant as he peers out at the lens from under his eyelashes.

“Can you help me understand, JD? I want to understand. I just need a little help. Can you show me?” Christ, he’s practically purring. Thankfully, he snaps back to director mode before you can get too lost in the rhythm.

“You think that was too much?”

“I think you could do a little more, to be really honest.”

His eyes narrow knowingly. “How so?”

“...You could go down on your knees.” You’re half joking at the most and still think you’ve crossed a line, but sure enough, he’s kneeling down and crossing his ankles like it couldn’t come more naturally to him.

He’s still plenty tall enough to bite your pant zipper, and you quickly shove the thought aside.

“Like this?”

“Yeah, perfect, just like that.”

This time, he might as well be on mute for all the words you’re processing. It’s all slow blinking doe eyes, curls bouncing with every emphatic head tilt, his tongue stretching out to wet his lips between sentences. The “Can you show me?” rocks straight through you and breaks the spell when Jack glances up at you. His expression shifts from mockingly innocent to coquettish for just a scorching, enduring moment, then he’s back on his feet, back to the bubbly, personable demeanor you’d expect from him.

“Thank you again for the help. She was NOT playing nice today.” he nods back at the tripod.

“Oh, it’s no problem! I love your work.” He waves a hand modestly.

“I love your work! You actually came out here and helped! It’s so much more important than what I do. Is this your first event?”

“It is! It’s my first time.”

“Well, we love first timers around here.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do.” The implication hits you a beat too late, so you pad it with a restrained “It’s really interesting to see the behind the scenes of it all.”

Jack rocks back on his heels, his eyebrows drawing up playfully.

“Have you seen the bus?”

“Of course I’ve seen the bus!”

“No, I meant the inside of it. Did you want to see that?” He allows himself the forwardness of a head tilt.

What else could you say?

“Yeah, I really would.”

🔹🔹🔹🔹

Bless the gelato truck, because there’s not a trace of human activity on this side of the building. You’re barely paying attention to the formality of a tour Jack’s giving; his enthusiasm is adorable, but the way his fingers spread as he’s pointing out every feature in the bus is making your mind wander.

“Shoes on or off?” you manage to ask.

“Oh, whatever you want. We’re not strict.” Off, then. “As you can see, this is where the magic happens.”

Once you get to the middle of the bus, the combination of campaign paraphernalia and scattered phone chargers, melatonin gummies, and cold brew cans feels like you’re getting a peek into something thrilling. There’s a map of tour stops tacked up with current polling results on a small whiteboard to the side. It’s close, but no doubt doable. You’re so swept up that you nearly smack your head on an open cabinet door when you turn back to face your host. His hand shifts back along its edge to cushion the impact before you can think to duck, and the heat from it makes your cheek tingle.

“Careful, it’s tight in here!” he teases.

It’s hard to shake the feeling of trespassing.

“Are you sure I’m good to be here?” Jack turns back from replenishing half empty swag baskets to smile reassuringly.

“No one needs it until one. When do you have to get back?”

“My break ends at one thirty.”

“I guess it’s our bus, then!” He fetches you a sparkling water from the minifridge and cracks open his own like he owns the place. You elect to remain standing and lean against one of the chairs opposite, certainly not because you want to have him looking up at you for as long as possible.

Jack is all long limbs and tanned striations as he stretches out on the bench seat like a cat, his wingspan nearly spanning its whole length. When he arches slightly to get comfortable, his shirt catches under his pecs and makes your mouth go dry. You wonder if you’re staring too much.

“So, do you have any other directing experience, or do you just have a knack for giving orders?” His head lolls to one side, soaking up your attention. One of his feet moseys it’s way over to you, and you uncross your ankles before it has a chance to nudge them in that direction.

“I think you’re just good at taking them.” Is that a blush you’re seeing? Jack breaks into a giggle that reads almost wistful.

“I was expecting you to tell me to roll over and balance a treat on my nose.”

“Anything for the campaign, right?”

“I mean, of course, but it's still those day to day interactions that are going to win this for us.”

“Yeah, the canvassing especially is really rewarding, I didn’t expect this many people to be undecided. I guess some of them still need a little convincing.” You plop down next to him, closer than you’d ever dare if he wasn’t flushed clear down to his shirt collar. Somehow, your right leg finds itself intertwined with his. He’s a fucking furnace, even directly under the AC unit.

“Not me though; I know exactly what I want to do.”

The corners of Jack’s mouth curl up without a shred of hesitation. He squints at you again before taking a slow pull of his Perrier, Adam’s Apple bobbing like it's begging you to bite it. His middle fingertip trails lazily around the rim as he sets it down. One last lip smack, then he’s pressing them onto yours and flooding your nose with the smell of clementines and sea salt.

The buzzing in your brain reaches a fever pitch when he drapes an arm around your waist to pull you closer. Tilting your head ever so slightly, your hand wanders up to cradle his face and press a thumb to his chin. A gentle push down to open Jack’s mouth and his tongue is snaking its way in, the obscene length of it sending sparks straight down to your clit. He breathes a contented, relieved moan into your mouth when your leg swings over his hips to straddle him, then little stilted mewls as you start rocking back and forth.

“You’re a little slut for democracy aren’t you? You tease, panting against his jawline.

“Who, me?” he grins and drags his hands up your thighs to settle on your ass, thumbs playing with your waistband.

You can feel your nipples hardening as you reach one hand out to steady yourself against the window. The bracing cold glass is delicious, but you flinch back when you spot people trickling back into view, gelato cups in hand, a few racing over to pose with the bus.

“Don’t worry; they can’t see you,” he chuckles along your sternum. Jack scooches too far forward trying to get a better angle to rut against you and nearly slides you both off the seat. You hear a whispered little “oh, shit,” before he scoops you up with one arm and shifts to stand, the other grabbing a spare water on his way to the rear of the bus. He collapses onto the deep sofa without missing a beat, but looks back up at you for reassurance, as if he’s somehow being presumptuous. You don’t even see it; you’re too busy yanking at his jeans like a madwoman after feeling how hard he is.

Concerns assuaged, he manages to pull both of your pants off without incident, only an accidental kick to the end table. Jack lets out a cackle when his hand slides low enough to feel you drip down his wrist.

“And I’m the slut for democracy?”

“Oh, shut up!”

You stretch behind him to the bin of condoms marked ‘F•CK PROJECT 2025’ on the far windowsill, shamelessly letting your breasts drag over his face in the process.

“It would really be a shame if we didn’t do some quality control, since we’re already here.” You trace one along his lips until they part to accept your gift.

“Such a waste,” Jack mimics you, if a bit muffled, as his incisors shred the foil wrapper. “And,” he adds cheekily with a shrug, “we’re fresh out of plan B.”

He’s already slid it on by the time you realize he’s unclipped your bra somewhere between here and the door, and you waste absolutely no time slipping him inside, so warm it makes you shudder. His eyelids flutter when you sit down fully; he’s whining like the bus is soundproof the second you get to work, all strained little whimpers and cut off syllables as you bounce in his lap. There’s not a minute to waste, and it’s showing in the breakneck pace you set. Jack’s movements are just as frantic, bucking up hard enough to threaten to throw you straight off this ride.

Desperate to see how far down he blushes, you slide your arms under his shirt, heat blooming up to your shoulders as you do. He gets your hint and tugs it off; you waste no time planting both hands on his pecs and letting your fingers run wild through his chest hair.

Meanwhile, your shirt and bra get caught on your elbow in the process of shedding them, and your left knee skids right off the couch while you’re distracted. Jack catches your shin effortlessly and plants his foot to keep his balance; you actually spot him smiling at his own reflexes. He rolls you both over without slipping out, chuckling a little “didn’t I tell you to be careful?” into your ear. He moves to let your leg down, and you throw it over his shoulder to keep him pinned flat against you before he can do so. The new angle restricts his range a bit, but he’s already shoving a hand down to strum at your clit, face millimeters from yours for the perfect view of just how much you’re loving it. He murmurs cockily when he sees you holding back. “Won’t you let me hear you?” There’s no way you’ll attract attention if you’re just moaning into his mouth, right?

It’s all too much; Jack’s whole body draped over you like a fever that won’t break, the way he’s panting down your throat every time you clamp around him, the little calluses on his occupied fingertips and how they maintain their perfect, unbearable pace no matter how much you thrash around. You can barely squeak out a “fuck, Jack, please-,”

His “I know, I know,” sounds just as ragged and that tips you right over the edge.

Jack’s composure completely unravels with the first pulse. His eyes screw shut and his hips still as deep as he can get to ride it out with you. You’re shaking and frothing like a can of Pepsi- sweet and sticking all along his slicked-flat happy trail as you lift your leg a little higher and over the back of his neck to pull him in closer. The beads of sweat on his forehead drip onto yours when he falls into another messy kiss, aftershocks buzzing comfortably through you both.

His phone timer jolts you out of your shared stupor.

“What is that?”

“12:30,” he groans into the couch cushion. “Sit tight, I’ll get you a towel.

🔹🔹🔹🔹

Jack is steaming your dress pants in one sock and his Hanes like its second nature, and it’s making a strong case for the hottest thing he could possibly do. In a few minutes, he’ll go out the front of the bus and stir up the crowd while you exit through the back.

“Take a bev for the road if you’d like.” He slaps the minifridge pointedly.

“Thanks, you’re such a good host!” you hadn’t moved from where you were laid out on the sofa; it was too much fun watching him get flustered from the compliment, “This was fun, getting to know you and all.”

“Yeah it was,” his tone is achingly sincere as he smiles back at you, face getting flushed all over again “...Not to be too bold, but could I get your number?”

[shuksstuff-blog]

Menjubo Madam

Hubungan aku dengan Madam ni mcm pasangan bercinta juga, kadang dia punya moody, letih juga nk melayan pe'el org tua ni, Ada sekali tu terkantoi, aku bawak awek office lunch, dijadikan cerita, naik kereta Audi yg dia belikan utk aku, memang ribut melandalah jawabnya. Aku igtkan dia dh fly ke KK, follow up dgn master payment disana, jadi aku curi2 la ngejas awek office bangunan sebelah, dua tiga kali mcm ada respond, jd bermodalkan Audi, manatau dapat merasa pepek muda. Belum smpat lunch, What App masuk, "I' ll Kill You", 'I know what you do!" dpt msg dr Madam, Ahh sudah, bisik hati aku, apahal pulak org tua ni,.   Selang beberapa minit, call in masuk,. aku swipe reject, nk makan kot. Dia call lg, aku swipe reject lg.

Selesai lunch, plan aku nk memantat dgn awek ni, tak jadi hari ni, kene lah postpone, jd aku trus drive blk office, hantar juga awek office sebelah. Aku melangkah masuk office aku je, Madam berdiri didepan meja aku, smbil tgnnya memeluk tubuhnya yg menampakkan tetek selambak dia tu. "Shut the door!" dgn nada yg tinggi, aku perasan staff2 lain terkejut dgn nada madam, sblm ni dia sorg yg peramah, jarang nk tggikan suara. Aku berjalan ke arah kerusi aku, dan duduk. "What wrong hunny?", nadaku yg rendah niat memujuk madam. "Dont you even 'hunny hunny' with me!, where are you going with that Bitch?!" aku agak terkedu bila madam berbahasakan begitu. Aku pun respond dgn baik, "I dont get it? who is the Bitch? i dont understand madam?". "Well the Bitch you taking to lunch just now!". "I see, are you jealouse with the "bitch" madam? and didnt you know who is the bitch rite now?"

Pertengkaran kami agak lama, cumanya lain staff tak la dgr sgt apa yg kami bertengkar. "I give you everything, anything, then you did this to me?" smbil mengalir airmatanya, suara yg menengkin td, kini dh redha. Aku memegang bahu madam, aku urut2kan supaya lebih tenang. "I know you love me rite?", smbil madam menggangguk tunduk, mukanya masih malu melihat aku. Aku mengaku yg aku ada keluar lunch dgn ex girlfriend aku dlu, walhal bukan pun, awek tu baru aku nk mencuba nasib. "Then what is she so special to you?" balas madam "you already touch all of me rite?". "Dont get mad when im telling you the truth, can you?" tnya aku kepada madam, dia hanya menggangguk saja. "Okay, she gave me all her hole, not only pussy". "Then let me give it to you also!, you want it now?" mencelah madam. Hatiku makin riang apabila umpan utk anal madam berjaya. "If that thing are special, why on earth you want to give rite now?, dont you want to take trip, only with me?" smbil memeluk madam, dia kini mendongan memandang aku, melebarkan senyumannya, dan kiss bibir aku, "i'll booked flight ticket now, we heading tmw". Oh senangnya bisik hati aku

Entah apa si madam ni discuss dgn boss aku, boss aku call, "Tmr, assist madam to Langkawi, this week im still at Bangkok, see you next Monday". belum smpat aku kata okay, dia letak fon. Sesampai saja kami di Airport Langkawi, ada kereta pick up kami terus ke Datai Hotel, dh macam honeymoon dgn madam kali ni di Langkawi, selesai check in, kami berangkat ke Cable Car, melayan la si madam berpimpin tgn, sebelah malamnya pulak, aku hanya bwk madam ke Rasta Hut Chenang, sesambil madam meneguk whiskey, aku dapatkan Weed, sebalut dua di bar, madam pun kian mabuk, aku ajak madam blk bilik.

Sesampai di bilik, madam terlalu horny, dlm lift pun dh meraba btg aku. Dilondehnya seluar aku, madam mencari btg nikmatnya utk diisap. Weed yg aku kena ni boleh tahan dengungnya, btg aku makin mencanak bila diisap rakus oleh madam, madam yg tanpa seurat benang masih hot dan bergetah, aku baringkan madam di katil, lidah aku laju mencari pussy, sesmbil aku memasukkan jari ke lubang jubur madam, masih dara, boss aku mesti tak reti anal. "Ahh, ahh ahh, plss fuck me babe" rayu madam bila pussynya terlalu becak dan stim. Batangku merodok pussy madam, menyentak2 madam dikerjakan aku, madam yg terkulai membiarkan saja aku meratah tubuhnya, seakan akan menurut nafsukunmenghambakan dirinya. Aku meminta madam menonggeng utk doggy, Clup clup clup, pussy madam menerima tujahan dr batang aku, terkemut2 pussy madam, dan akhirnya, aku melumurkan air pussy madam di lubang juburnya, batangku menekan kedalam jubur madam, madam tersentak "ahh, sakit". keluh madam, kian lama sakitnya hilang, rengekkan madam kini lain dari rengek bila pussy nya di tujah, kali ini lebih ganas bunyinya. "Arhg arghh arhgh, it fit baby, arhhh arhhh" moaning dr madam membuatkan aku hilang keruan. Sentakan demi sentakan btg aku, jubur madam semakin longlai, madam hanya akur dia diliwat ganas oleh staffnya, aku memancutkan benihku ke dlm lubang jubur madam, madam terdampar, dan aku menindihnya, batang masih lg dikemut2 oleh jubur madam.. kami berdua tertidur.

Sesedarnya aku, madam masih tidur, mungkin kepenatan, aku mencari stok weed smlm, smbil balut dibalcony, madam dgn shower robe, memeluk aku dr belakang, terasa panas tetek madam dibelakang aku. Madam mencium leher aku, meraba2 badan aku, bila aku pusing mengadap dia, btg aku dh terpacak. "Woaaa, always hard yaa, wait ya i need to take shower first". smbil mencuit btg aku. Madam meluru ke bathroom, punggungnya melentok2 semasa jalan, geram je aku tgk, tak padan dgn berumur, nafsu makcik cina ni masih berdarah muda, mungkin boss aku tak pernah melayan mcm aku, pancut je tido, pancut je tido.. Madam hanya berendam di dlm bathtub, aku berdiri disebelahnya, dicapai btg aku, terus masuk mulut dan hisap. Aksi kami di bathroom berlarutan, btgku hanya mensasar lubang jubur madam, akan tetapi, pussy madam aku rodok dgn jari hingga berlendir, barulah aku mula menujah jubur madam. Nafas madam semakin liar, juburnya tidak lagi mampu menahan tusukan btgku, dn akhirnya madam climax, pussynya memancut2 air dn meleleh di pehanya d keaddan madam berdiri dan menonggeng menahan di basin toilet, kaki madam longlai kesedapan, aku menahan dr madam jatuh, aku smbung fick jubur madam, "Arghh, arghh, arghh, baby cum in me baby" rakus rengekan madam. Aku menghaburkan mani aku lagi ditempat yg bukan sepatuynya.. Madam tak berhenti kemut kesedapan, badan madam berpeluh2 akibat pertarungan kami berdua.

To be continue..

[phantomturntech]

when jds in charge of lunch

[marvelsmostwanted]

They’re trying to use “Tampon Tim” as an insult for Tim Walz because he (checks notes) “[required] public schools to provide [free] menstrual products — including pads and tampons — to students in 4th through 12th grades.” (per NPR)

Uh… okay?

Next they’re going to start calling him “Free Lunch Tim” or “started a GSA club in the 90’s Tim” or “State Championship Football Coach Tim” like ???

Republicans have left reality. Their party is in tatters and those who remain have no clue whatsoever how to connect with average voters. They knew once (specifically in 2012 after Mitt Romney lost) but then they decide to cater to the lying, cheating coalition of the far-right instead… and this is what they got. A weird-ass group of pundits who are just dying to publicly state how much they hate most people in this country. Specifically how much they want them to be poor, miserable, or dead.

And yet, they still have a chance of winning.

Vote, donate, volunteer so we can have Vice President Tampon Tim Walz instead of Vice President Sociopath Elite Hillbilly JD Vance