#jayce please don’t make me look bad for defending you

[ishasdefender]

I actually need them to meet SO badly and have them realise just how interconnected everything they’ve done is

Jayce and Jinx Red String of Fate in the way they don't actually know each other and yet keep fucking up each other's lives in the worst ways.

[heraldofzaun]

This is a post I’ve been thinking about making for quite some time, especially due to looking at how my own personal depiction of Viktor differs from what seems to be the general fandom interpretation - especially after the LoR cards released and gave us a few canonical acolytes.

I won’t beat around the bush here: this is going to be about why I personally believe that associating the Glorious Evolution specifically with headcanons about Viktor or his acolytes being trans, or Viktor performing gender-affirming surgeries, or things in a similar vein is a poor decision, and why I don’t include this interpretation in my writings. This isn’t meant to discourage people from writing Viktor or his acolytes as trans, of course - my Viktor is agender, although he’s not aware of it, and it would be absurd to say that his followers have to be cis - but I think it’s important to look at the implications that come from writing Viktor as explicitly someone who helps people relieve and manage their dysphoria through his work with the GE.

Firstly, no matter how you spin it: Viktor’s idea of the Glorious Evolution has always been painted in a negative light. I’ve done my work to portray it as idealistically as possible, but at the end of the day his goals have always been about removing (at the very least, negative) emotions from himself, as well as mechanizing himself and others.

“Desiring both to revolutionize his field and to eliminate the jealous human emotions which festered inside him, he engineered parts to replace and improve his own body... He saw himself as the patron and pioneer of Valoran's future, a future in which man would renounce his flesh in favor of superior hextech augmentations.” (Original lore.)

“He saw human involvement in any part of a process as a grossly inefficient aberration - a view that put him at odds with a great many of his fellow students and professors, who saw the very things Viktor sought to remove as the source of human ingenuity and creativity.” (New lore.)

“Jayce reported the incident [of Viktor creating a device that allowed someone to “effectively control” another person]  to the college masters, and Viktor was censured for violating basic human dignity - though, in his eyes, his work would have saved many lives. He was expelled from the college, and retreated to his old laboratory in Zaun, disgusted by the narrow-minded perceptions of Piltover's inhabitants. Alone in the depths, Viktor sank into a deep depression, enduring a traumatic period of introspection for many weeks. He wrestled with the ethical dilemma he now faced, finding that, once again, human emotion and weakness had stood in his way. He had been trying to help, to enhance people beyond their natural capabilities to avoid error and save lives. Revelation came when he realized that he too had succumbed to such emotions, allowing his naive belief that good intentions could overcome ingrained prejudice to blind him to human failings. Viktor knew he could not expect others to follow where he did not go first, so, in secret, he operated on himself to remove those parts of his flesh and psyche that relied upon or were inhibited by emotion.” (New lore.)

This, when combined with how Viktor has also always been intended as a more villainous character - his visual design language, voice lines, and how he leans into the “evil Russian scientist” stereotype all confirm that - mean that from an out-of-universe standpoint, we’re meant to see his ideas as wrong and misguided. Multiple other champions have lines specifically about how he’s wrong - Ekko calls him “everything wrong with Zaun”, Camille (who is morally grey at best, and a cold-blooded killer at worst) calls his work “quaint”, implying that it doesn’t go far enough for her liking, and Heimerdinger makes the point that without humans, no one will be left to appreciate Viktor’s work. It doesn’t matter if Viktor has good intentions - the narrative tells us time and time again that his path leads to a very dark place, especially in new lore where he’s comfortable with violating free will for the sake of preventing death.

It seems obvious to me that a character who auto-amputates as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, who decides that emotions themselves are a burden, who is repeatedly described as having an obsession with the Glorious Evolution regardless of lore, who is described as who you go to when you’re desperate in new lore... is clearly someone whose surgeries (at least of himself, where they are implied to be unnecessary - again, auto-amputation) and end goals are supposed to be read as a violation of human nature and dignity. Here we pivot to talking about trans issues in specific.

I’m of the firm belief that it’s not a good idea to associate gender-affirming surgeries, HRT, or any other thing used for transitioning with a character whose surgeries are supposed to be read as a violation of the human form. This plays directly into the anti-trans idea that transitioning is, well, a violation of the human form. It is not a good idea to write the man who cuts off his own limbs to poorly cope with his emotions as a patron of trans rights. It’s drawing a direct parallel between Viktor’s auto-amputations, which we are supposed to read as not only a very bad thing and the product of obsession, but arguably self-harm, with life-saving medical care.

(There’s also the issue that some people seem to assume that transhumanism is, in any way, inherently related to being trans - but that’s a whole other topic that I don’t feel very qualified to write on. I consider myself someone interested in transhumanist concepts, when applied appropriately (i.e. not ending up in eugenicist territory), but I am far from an expert on transhumanist thought. I think it’s enough to say that no, they’re not related. They’re just two things with the same prefix. Please don’t confuse the two.)

In my opinion, Viktor should not be seen as someone whose work is a direct benefit to trans individuals. (Again, not to say that Viktor can’t have followers who are trans. But please, please consider before making him the person that they go to for help with transitioning. The man doesn’t even have a medical degree, and his canonical work is described as being all about function over form. He’s not the surgeon you want.) I don’t think that Viktor’s gender identity, whatever it may be, should be associated with his obsession with the Glorious Evolution - or at the least, it shouldn’t be portrayed as a positive association. (In the sense of Viktor using the GE/his own surgeries as a positive affirmation of his gender... I’m struggling to precisely define this at the moment, apologies.) The GE is, textually, an unhealthy coping mechanism.

(There’s maybe something to be said for a Viktor who has disassociated himself so far from humanity that he no longer considers gender applicable to himself... but please, be careful if you write this. I’m speaking as someone who’s agender: I’m tired of my identity being used as shorthand for someone or something becoming or being nonhuman. I’m tired of people treating Blitzcrank being reskinned as a they/them pronoun user as something revolutionary, if they themselves don’t use those pronouns or aren’t nonbinary. I’m not going to pretend that I’m the arbiter of what people can and can’t write, but I’m tired of seeing myself - as an autistic and agender person - represented solely by unfeeling aliens and machines and whatever else, and being told that it’s good, actually, because any representation is good representation. I’d like for people to be more mindful in what they write and promote, but I think that this is becoming a tangent.)

I guess it comes time for me to defend my own depiction, then, since as I’ve mentioned above I do write Viktor as agender. I admit that I want to see aspects of myself in the characters that I like, but I also strive to be aware of the implications that these aspects may have. My Viktor’s gender identity has absolutely nothing to do with his idea of the Glorious Evolution - he has no dysphoria that he attempts to relieve through his surgeries, he does not see roboticization as a way to move past the gender binary... he doesn’t even realize that he’s not a cis man, because he hasn’t had the time or tools to introspect on that aspect of himself. (He’d be rather confused if you told him that people generally tend to feel as if they’re a certain gender - he’s just... himself.) I’ve written him in this way to try to make it clear that he has always felt this way about himself - that the GE has nothing to do with it - and that it has no influence on his actions as the Machine Herald.

There isn’t really a good way to wrap this up. Again, I am not saying that Viktor or his acolytes shouldn’t be written as trans, nor trying to stop people from writing that - only that their transness shouldn’t be directly associated with his idea of the Glorious Evolution. I think that we need to be mindful of what kinds of tropes that our depictions can fall into, and in this case a non-mindful depiction of Viktor as trans can seen as equating being trans to what’s easily read as self-harm/a violation of human nature. I doubt that anyone genuinely intends this association, but it can be made regardless, and so I prefer to keep the two concepts wholly separate in my depiction.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. I’m willing to answer any questions that arise from this.

[echelonlab-blog]

Bound By Ink -- Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Warnings: None

Tagging: @hazeleyedleto @msroxyblog @letojokerownsme @miss-shannanigans @snewsome756   @maliciousalishious   @nikkitasevoli@meghan12151977 @sanellv @ambolton @bradlea23 @spillinginkwithlove@alexis7215 @dezmarz @pezziecoyote @whoistheprettiest @avaj99@iridescxntsolitude @pheenixpeterson @guccilowell @blondiefrommars@rowen1976 @phoebehalliwell1984 @thathipstaninja @darthjokerisyourfather@letsbemybatman  @prettymisc @lylabell2013 @mandyglam @pandaliciouz@just-me-obsessing @echelon-1969 @carolinapb-me @marilyndioncre

   I stood there mortified, surveying the damage and glancing over at Shannon. Grabbing Nadia by the arm, I pushed her in the opposite direction, toward the house. Marta was still screaming obscenities and pointing down at the delicate white material dripping with burgundy liquid.

   Nadia threw her glass of wine on Marta. In retaliation, Marta pushed Nadia backward, collapsing the table and sending not only glasses of alcohol, but food as well, crashing to the cement near the pool. The crowd that had formed around the argument were all gawking and some even recording the spectacle with their phones. I was so embarrassed and could only apologize to Jared as we rushed past him and Jamie. “I’m so sorry!”

   He gave a reassuring smile even though I was willing to bet he wasn’t happy about the whole situation. “It’s okay.”

   I heard him calling for someone to come clean the mess, but didn’t stop. “I’m going to take her to the bathroom.” Again, I’m really sorry about this.”

  He followed behind us for a few seconds, his voice never changing from the soft, friendly tone. “Do you remember where it is?”

  Turning to look back, I noticed Jayce standing just behind Jared and he was clearly embarrassed as well.  He pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and walked in the opposite direction, disappearing into the crowd of Jared’s friends. “I think so.” I called out, pretending to be unfazed. Mark and his stupid snotty new girlfriend would have to check on him.

   Luckily, I had no issue remembering exactly where the bathroom was and finally let go of Nadia once inside. The second the door closed behind me, I gave her a little shove. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You and I were cool, why would you screw that up and embarrass me like this?”

   She flipped her pink hair out of her eyes as her back pressed against the wall. Sliding all the way down, her hands covered her face. “What difference does it make?”

 “Yeah, like I’m gonna leave it at that. Bitch you better start talking before I really get mad. You know, I was being nice by inviting you to this little party and I don’t appreciate you coming over here and picking a fight with Jared’s....  whatever she is!” I was busy texting Mark, asking him to check on Jayce.

 “I fucked Jared, okay?!” She sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. Her voice became lower as she continued to speak.

  I slid down next to her. “WHAT?”

  She looked over at me. “Not recently, it was a long time ago. He promised to call me, like I’m sure he does every other groupie he screws, and I was fine with not ever hearing from him again... until you got called out here to do that tat.” She looked away as she continued. “He must have told her that we had been together because she was making some real shitty comments to me. Am I not allowed to defend myself Blue? You would have done the same.” She stared down at the floor, her pretty pink hair falling from her shoulder and blocked my view. “You know, he remembered me that day at RI. He came over and whispered all flirty in my ear, so, naturally I just assumed I may get another opportunity with him, but I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

 Well, fuck, she was right, in my younger, wilder days, I probably would have done the same thing. It didn’t make it right or okay, but I could sort of understand how she felt. This was definitely a different, more personal side of Nadia I was seeing. “You still shouldn’t have thrown a drink at her.”

 “Hey, at least I didn’t hit her.”

 I tilted my head to the side and giggled. “This is true, but I think you should apologize to Jared.”

  “I will, even though he doesn’t deserve it.” Letting out a frustrated breath, she put her head back and I could tell she was getting emotional. Tears were threatening to fall and she looked up at the ceiling. “You know Blue, I’ve always been so jealous of you. I mean, you have always been so beautiful and things always go right for you.” She wiped her eyes and continued. “Mark is so handsome and Jayce is so talented and just an amazing kid. And now you have Shannon. I get a one night stand with Jared and then my ex gives me chlamydia. I’m just doing great.”

 I shook my head at her absurd view of my life. “You think things always go right for me? Obviously, you don’t know my life. My mother is one of those people you absolutely cannot please, no matter what. I’m a shitty mother in her eyes and she never liked Mark. So, she will definitely hate Shannon. People are always judging me by my hair color and tattoos and I hate it. Believe me, things aren’t the way you see them.”

 “Same thing with me. They see the tattoos and pink hair and think I’m trash. The truth is, I’m really not. I’ve made some mistakes, that I really regret, but I’m not that bad.”

  Instantly I felt guilty for doing the same thing to her, but not because of her look, it was the things I heard. “Stop. I’ve gotta admit, I did the same. I heard some things about you and then you and Mark..  I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, I forgive you. Friends?” She asked, holding her balled up fist out for me to bump.

  “Friends.” I pounded my fingers against hers and stood up. “Ready to get out of here?” I held my hand out to help her up.

 “Yup.” She followed me out and gave Jared a quick ‘Sorry’ as we passed him up. Marta, who had changed into some less flattering clothing, still wasn’t finished complaining and her broken English was like nails on a chalkboard.

  Shannon was waiting just outside for us and I smiled at him, not sure if he was upset about what happened. “Hey, do you mind if we just go?” I didn’t really want to hang around for round two.

 “Sure, just let me tell Jared we’re leaving.” I followed him, thanking Jared for the invite and once more apologizing for what happened with Nadia. He brushed it off like it was no big deal. We rounded up Mark, Jayce and Stephanie before heading out to the car.

 Jayce shocked me by asking if he could go with Mark and Stephanie. Just as Mark said yes, his new snotty girlfriend cocked her head to the side. “Babe, we have plans. My home isn’t really kid friendly.”

  I put on my best fake smile and glared at Mark. “Well, Jayce isn’t exactly a toddler.”

  She laughed awkwardly and put her hand on mine. “Oh, I know, but we sort of had plans, for just the two of us. I’m sure you understand.” Who did this asshole think she was. Mark looked away and just as I was about to lose it, Shannon stepped in.

  He put his arm around me. “Okay, yeah, Jayce, you come with us. It’s not a big deal Scarlett. Let’s go do something fun, Nadia, you want to join us?” She nodded and we all got into the car. I was certain my face was red and I felt like I was going to explode with rage. Shannon’s hand was on mine as he carried on a conversation with Nadia, explaining that he never liked Marta and how she sometimes worked Jared’s nerves too. They were getting along great, but I stayed quiet, not wanting to say anything I might regret in front of Jayce.

   I was so consumed by my anger that I hadn’t even paid much attention to where we were headed. When the car finally came to a stop, it was Jayce’s excited voice as he hopped out of the car. “Mom check this out!!”

  “Wanna have some real fun?” Shannon asked, smiling me and nodding over at Jayce, who was checking out the dirt bikes.