#jasper didn't die

[arrowheadedbitch]

AU where jasper didn't die and he and David grew up as besties and eventually ended up dating. Jasper is in a band and they end up breaking up but they're both bitter about it bc they still love eachother and don't want to admit it. But then David hires Gwen and jasper's band is her favorite, she has all the merchandise, but David doesn't want to tell her that her favorite band member is his ex and she's rubbing salt in his wounds so he just has to deal with seeing his face everywhere. It's this anything?

[maxbytes]

We're all aware of the places Lapis is willing to go in a fight or flight situation, i.e. trap people in a torturous fusion, or try to force people to straight up dip from the planet. Given all of that...is there a non zero chance Lapis' reaction on learning Jasper is pregnant is to just pop her and hope that destroys the baby.

FGJDFGJSGDHGH

the chances are not zero

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #95

[koolades-world]

being sick sucked. the only good part about being sick in the devildom was not being able to infect anyone other than solomon, and the extended breaks you got after you came down with something.

one of the many privileges you were given was full control the the tv in the living room. you'd been sick a couple times while in the devildom at this point, so the brothers had already had their major freakouts over minor things. you were in the ideal stage of being sick right now: the brothers were still unsure enough to know if you were exaggerating your symptoms (to get what you wanted, of course!) but sure enough to know you're not about to keel over and die.

it was a saturday, and everyone was home. you didn't go to rad the past few days because you came down with something solomon had contracted while off in the depths of the devildom. nobody really knew what it was, but the most notable symptom was that your sweat now sparkled. it was only a little alarming to lucifer and barbatos, but since they couldn't figure out what the hell solomon had given you, they deemed rest to be the most appropriate solution. however, to you, this was the only sign you needed to put on the twilight saga.

at first, only asmo seemed interested in actually watching it with you. he'd somehow never seen it, so you quickly put it on. asmo was bundled in one of the many blankets that surrounded you at all times, while you sat in the middle of the nest, sweating- half because you were constantly overheating, and half because you were watching twilight.

mammon passed by the living room several times while completing tasks around the house, and made comments about the movie every single time. it was "this movie is stupid" and "yer seriously still watchin' this?" at first. then, it morphed into him lingering just behind the couch you were seated on, holding something he was in the middle of polishing. when you'd turn back to look at him, he'd pretend he wasn't paying attention whatsoever. when you finally invited him to join after catching him staring for the fifth time, and patted the seat besides you, he objected quickly, claiming "ya can keep yer vampire slop."

he returned in five minutes.

when beel got home from his workout, he tried to join you right away. asmo made him go take a shower first, which you felt hypocritical agreeing with. your oddly sparkly sweat stained whatever fabric it came into contact with. once the sweat evaporated, the sparkles were the only thing left behind.

once jasper came onto screen, mammon made a comment about his stare reminded him of lucifer's. you and asmo burst out laughing harder than you'd laughed in a long time. unfortunately for mammon, lucifer happened to be walking by at that very moment. you managed to talk lucifer out of punishing mammon when you claimed he was helping you out as your emotional support demon. sweating sparkles for an unknown reason was stressful work, after all.

satan walked by with a thick book, and promptly paused once he saw what you were watching. he'd read, and loved the books. he shoved mammon aside to sit next to you, so the two of you could excitedly chatter about the movie and book differences.

once the part where edward sparkled in the middle of the forest came on screen, you dramatically reenacted it in the middle of your living room, while getting beel to hold a flashlight over your head. you had the entire living room doubled over laughing, making the exertion worth it. the only one sensible to ask you to sit back down was lucifer, who had decided to watch the movie by standing at the back of the room, and denying that he even was. and upon seeing the baseball scene, all the brothers present (minus lucifer) wanted to do that immediately.

oh boy, what had you started?

[vigilante-3073]

Daddy's Credit Card

Cullen Family x Female Vampire Reader (Platonic)

PART 2

Summary: After what was supposed to be a simple baseball game, Bella finds herself being hunted by James. The family leaps into action to protect her, but will wild card Y/N fall into line or throw Bella to the lions?

TW: Mention of death and violence, lack of regard for the feelings/property of others, angst.

The Cullens rushed back to their home in a panic, quickly splitting into cars and formulating a plan on how they could protect Bella. James was an excellent hunter and they didn't stand a chance unless they went on the run.

Y/N leaned against the wall of the garage, watching the family scramble around and talk through possible strategies. She sighed softly to herself, thinking about how Edward should just let Bella die and move on.

Edward's head snapped in her direction, sending her a sharp glare, "Stop it," He growled. Y/N scoffed, silently resuming her task of picking the dirt from under her manicured fingernails.

"Y/N, go with Alice and Jasper. You have the strongest gift and you should be the last bit of defense around Bella," Carlisle said.

Y/N made her way over to them, Edward caught her arm before she got into the car, "If you let her die, I will never speak to you again," Edward said.

"Wouldn't exactly be a big loss," Y/N replied, tugging her arm out of his grasp and getting into the car.

Y/N put in her headphones, scolling on her phone as Jasper pulled out of the garage. They were headed to Phoenix, set on putting as much distance between Bella and the tracker as possible. Edward stayed behind, assisting Esme and Rosalie in spreading Bella's scent through the woods to throw the tracker off.

Edward had very little confidence in Y/N, she had become an unknown variable in the family's effort to keep Bella safe. Edward knew that she wouldn't hesitate to let Bella die if she were put in a position where she was the only one between Bella and the tracker.

He could tell that his threat had done nothing to change her mind, but he took comfort in knowing that Alice would monitor her decisions to protect Bella. Edward hated the rift that had formed between him and Y/N since he chose to love Bella despite their differences.

Y/N had become even more of a loose cannon since their argument and Edward found himself unable to even talk to her anymore. She had shut him out in every way aside from her thoughts, which grew more hateful with every passing day.

Spreading Bella's scent through the woods in Forks was found to be ineffective shortly after Bella arrived in Phoenix. The tracker changed direction and Edward rushed to follow him with Carlisle and Emmett.

They called Bella from the road to notify her of the change in their plan. Edward was planning to take her to Vancouver while the rest of the Cullen family hunted the tracker and his mate.

Y/N was laying on the bed in the hotel room, texting with a smile on her face. Alice found herself getting irritated, looking over at Y/N from her spot on the couch beside Jasper. Y/N hadn't said a word during the entire drive and now she laid there grinning at her phone like there wasn't someone actively trying to kill Bella.

"Could you at least pretend to care?" Alice snapped.

"Alice," Jasper said quietly, trying to calm her raging emotions before things could get out of hand.

"Would it change anything?" Y/N asked without looking up from her screen.

"No, but-" "Then no," Y/N stated, getting up from the bed.

"I'm going to the bar," She said.

"You should stay with Bella," Alice said, standing up from her spot on the couch.

"Are you going to come over here and stop me?" Y/N asked.

"Alice, let her go," Jasper said softly, trying to calm the heightened emotions in the room. Alice huffed, shaking her head as she sat back down.

"That's what I thought," Y/N muttered, making her way out of the room.

...

Bella made her way down to the lobby after talking to James on the phone. He had her mother and he was going to kill her unless Bella met with him at the ballet studio.

She peered around the corner, quickly spotting Y/N at the bar and Jasper standing on the other side of the room with Alice.

Bella's heart pounded in her chest as she quickly made her way towards the front door. She turned the corner, jumping as Y/N was suddenly standing in front of her.

"Where do you think you're going?" Y/N asked.

"I-I was just-" Bella started, desperately trying to think of an excuse.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, "Just what?" She asked, stepping closer to the human.

"I was just gonna get some air," Bella replied.

"Tell me where you were really going or I'll drag you up to our room and tie you to the radiator," Y/N said.

"James called me from my house. H-he has my mom," Bella said shakily.

"Let me guess... He wants you to come alone, you for her?" Y/N asked.

"Yes," Bella nodded.

"If you go, he's going to kill you," Y/N stated.

"I have to save my mom. Please," Bella pleaded.

"I could save you some time and break your neck right here if you want to die that badly," Y/N said.

"I don't want to die, but I have to save my mom," Bella repeated.

"I can give you a twenty minute head start. No more, no less," Y/N said.

"Thank you," Bella said, rushing out the door of the hotel.

"What a shame," Y/N sighed, making her way back over to the bar.

...

Edward and his family arrived at the ballet studio just in time to save Bella. She was injured, but alive. Edward was able to suck James' venom from Bella's veins before she turned and they brought her to the hospital to receive treatment for her injuries. Y/N returned to Forks with Alice, Jasper and Emmett while Carlisle and Edward stayed behind in Phoenix to be with Bella while she recovered.

Alice knew that Y/N let Bella leave the hotel but chose to keep it quiet because everything had worked out. She was definitely going to be monitoring Y/N's decisions more closely after Bella almost died because of her carelessness.

Alice was beginning to question how callous Y/N could really be, there was nothing inside her but anger and hatred. Y/N didn't care about anyone besides herself and it was becoming more apparent.

Bella and Charlie returned to Forks with Edward and Carlisle following closely behind. James' mate had vanished and Edward was not willing to risk leaving Bella without protection until she was located.

"Alice told me about what you did in Phoenix," Edward stated, standing in the doorway to her room.

Y/N flipped the page of her magazine, "I assumed that she would," She said, eyes remaining on the glossy pages.

"What is it going to take to get you to see how much I care about her?" Edward said.

"You have an infatuation with her, Edward. You don't love her," Y/N stated.

"I do love her," He said.

Y/N looked up at him, "Then turn her, let her live out an eternity in this house with you," She said.

"It doesn't have to be that way," Edward snapped.

"Yes, it does. You're a moron if you think it can work otherwise," Y/N said, looking back down at her magazine, "Get out of my room," She said, flipping the page.

"Bella is coming here tonight and I want you to stay as far away from her as possible," Edward said.

"Won't be an issue," Y/N muttered.

...

Y/N stood out on the balcony, watching the forest dim as the sun sunk below the horizon. She heard the door open behind her, not needing to turn around at the suddenly overwhelming scent of human blood.

"Edward doesn't want you around me," Y/N said.

"Yeah, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate what you did for me in Phoenix," Bella said.

Y/N scoffed, turning to look at the young girl, "What I did for you? You can't really be that stupid," Y/N said.

"I-I don't understand," Bella said softly.

"Don't mistake my indifference for compassion, Bella. I couldn't care less if you live or die," Y/N said.

"But I thought-" "The only reason I haven't killed you myself is because Edward would kill me for it," Y/N said.

"I didn't-" "With all due respect, which is admittedly a very minuscule amount, there is nothing of interest that you could say to me. This conversation is over," Y/N said, stepping around Bella and making her way back into the house.

Edward was standing by the doorway, obviously ready to interfere if the conversation went in a direction that Bella was not equipped to handle. His eyes followed her as she moved across the room, "You think I'd kill you to protect her?" Edward questioned.

"Am I wrong?" Y/N asked, looking over at him. Bella stepped into the house, lingering awkwardly by the doorway as she took in the sudden tension of the room.

"You're my family," Edward said.

"That's not an answer," Y/N replied.

She looked over at Bella, suddenly finding herself slammed back against the wall as the thought of tearing out Bella's throat came to mind.

Edward stared down at her, breathing heavily as he kept her pinned in place. A confused look crossed his face when he realized that there was no intention behind the thought. Y/N was just trying to get a reaction out of him to prove her point and he fell for it immediately.

Y/N looked up at him, watching the realization dawn on him as he slowly released her, "You treat me like a rabid dog that you need to chain up despite knowing me better than anyone in the entire world... I have never suffered a bigger betrayal and you still struggle to understand why I am so spiteful towards you," Y/N said.

"I never meant to hurt you," Edward said.

"But you did," Y/N stated.

"Y/N-" "I loved you," She said.

"I know," Edward replied.

PART 3

She huffed a laugh, "You continue to surprise me with how callous you truly are. We're more alike than you'd like to believe, Edward," Y/N said, making her way out of the room.

...

[sleepyangelkami]

hi ur writing for bellamy is so good and i loved the one of the drunk one whatever so i need to request one that’s like that

so like basically bellamy and u we’re like lowkey enemies kinda and u we’re always picking on eachother and one night while everyone was celebrating at the dropship, monty and harper were playing like a drinking game so you decided to join in but you got wayy to drunk so u decided to go on a side quest and just walk around camp until somehow you ended up in bellamy’s tent and you just started yapping about random stuff but you accidentally tell him you are literally in love with him and then you throw up on him and end up embarrassing yourself but then he was like i’m lowkey in love with you too and so you fall asleep in his tent with him but jasper ends up getting way to drunk too and he stumbles into bellamy’s tent and sees you guys so he decides to tell everyone about it and the next morning everyone’s picking on you guys since your supposedly enemies

A MESS b.blake

𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT - 2.6K

BELLAMY BLAKE X FEM!READER

𝜗𝜚 A/N - thank you so much for the request angel, i tweaked it a little, i hope you don't mind!!!

𝜗𝜚 SUMMARY - you were one of the unlucky ones, sent down to the ground in a skirt. so while drunk and looking for a place of warmth, you manage to stumble into bellamy blake's tent, the boy you've always hated, or so you've said.

𝜗𝜚 WARNINGS - drinking, underage drinking, drunk!reader, love confessions, throwing up, reader has a mom, crying, comfort, (3) use of y/n, petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

you weren't supposed to be sent to the ground.

you weren't one of the hundred that committed crimes and were paying out their sentence. on the contrary, you couldn't be further from a criminal. but your mother just so happened to be on the council on the ark. she decided that if you were going to die it was going to be on the ground and not dying of no air up there.

at the beginning, you held out hope that you'd go back. in fact, you were one of the only ones who still had their wristbands on.

but the hundred had given up any source of hope, that was why everyone was wasting all of their booze. you too began to stumble around, talking to some, avoiding others and downing the distasteful liquid.

"well, that's a surprise." you turned your head at the deep voice. bellamy blake.

he was a pretty boy but he knew that which instantly made him so much less appealing. he had that pretty dark tousled hair with his glowing eyes and many freckles. you'd be jealous if you were a boy, you supposed. though it must run in the family because octavia was just as beautiful.

both your parents were awfully close back in the day. you used to look at bellamy as if he were your friend though octavia would always hold the title of your best friend. but bellamy changed after a while, he turned into this unrecognisable boy after octavia had been arrested.

you were one of the only people who knew of octavia's existence before then but when testifying, you had to swear that you didn't know who she was so your mother didn't get in trouble. perhaps that was when bellamy decided to turn into a stranger.

at each other's throats is what you were now. you could hardly stand to be in a room with him. he and his posse only got worse now that they were on the ground, ripping off people's wristbands and telling them that they wouldn't be allowed to eat if they hadn't. you supposed you'd been an exception, despite his unkind nature towards you.

perhaps octavia had said something to him.

"what is?" your voice was sort of slurred. the night had hardly begun and you were already off your rocker, the alcohol was enough to have you woozy.

"didn't take you for much of a drinker, princess, that's all." the godawful nickname he'd given you all that time ago.

you cocked a brow at the boy, turning your head. it was sort of hard to feign hatred when you looked at him like that, with big glassy eyes. "why not?"

he tsked. "not really what good girls do, is it?"

you could only roll your eyes at him. "go find someone else to bother, bells."

you watched as his face dropped ever so slightly.

bells. he'd given you the nickname princess but you'd settled on bells back when he was still someone you looked up to. you thought it suited him well but he always complained, said it made him sound like a girl. not that you cared, though. it'd been a long time since that nickname left your lips.

"right." he could only clear his throat, eyebrows knitted together as he found himself walking away, his boots too large and too funny looking to your drunk self.

you hadn't registered the nickname that had left your lips and now your brows were strewn together. "so weird."

"who's weird?" that was the sound of the familiar boy jasper, one of the hundred, arrested for something drug related with his best friend monty. you couldn't keep up with those two.

"jasper!" you practically slung yourself around the boy, he caught you before you could stumble backwards while a grin plastered itself on his face, a matching one on your own as your head dropped against his chest.

there was never anything between you and jasper but you were both awfully touchy, especially with a little alcohol in you both.

from the other side of the camp, you couldn't register the look bellamy was burning into the side of the boys head.

"jasper's a weirdo?" monty questioned. he never got as drunk as the rest, just enough of a buzz to find everything funny.

you weren't much of a drinker, if you were being honest. if someone had offered you drink back on the ark you would have refused in miliseconds but a lot had changed since then. besides, what did you have to lose, by the rate the camp was going, you'd all be dead in a few months anyway.

"no." you hiccuped. "jasper's gonna help me find some more booze."

"yes i am." he turned. "hop on." and he bent down, allowing you to jump on his back as he began walking back to the others, monty followed not too far behind.

the crowd of people were in the middle of the camp, they poured out people drinks and passed them around, nobody was alone. that part was funny, you thought. if they were all still on the ark, half of them wouldn't so much as look at one another, but now? they were closer than ever.

there was a makeshift table out of logs of wood which held all the booze, jasper got to work with pouring you something not too strong. seeing as you didn't drink much, it wasn't the best idea to give you something ridiculous. "hey miller." miller was next to you, around the same height as jasper but seeing as you were on his back, he looked small to you. you wondered if this was how they saw you on the daily. "hows the weather down there." you giggled against jasper's hair while jasper snorted.

"nice to see you too, y/n." you couldn't really see miller's eyes seeing as his beanie was practically attached to his head but you could see he was smiling, that was all that really mattered to you.

"we really need to let you drink more." octavia always found everything funny when she drank, much like monty in that way. it was good to see the girl so carefree, she cared too much about things these days.

"i agree." though there was a sudden slouchness that came with drinking. "octavia, is my skirt up?" the realization that you were on the boy's back, despite the black skirt that your mother had so graciously let you wear that day, not telling you that you should have maybe wore a sweatpants because hey, you were getting sent to the ground.

"nope. but i'll let you know if anyone starts talking about seeing an ass out."

you grinned, laying your head against the mop of hair on jasper's head. "you're the bestest."

"that's not a word, y/n." monty mumbled to you, watching as you turned with a frown. "but well done for being really nice..?"

"okay!" jasper announced, allowing you off his back. "one drink for the lady." he practically bowed, passing the drink off to you.

both monty and jasper stared, seemingly interested as you brought the cup up to your mouth, tasting the burning liquid. you did, then immediately scrunching your face up. "ew! jasper what the heck is that? it tastes like... tastes like..."

"barf?" octavia helped.

"tastes like barf!"

"maybe, but you'll feel a nice buzz after." jasper pushed it towards your lips again. "just drink it and see how you feel later."

you did in fact feel a buzz after.

the party continued and all you could focus on was the dizziness clouding your vision, the way your head was suddenly swirling. you ended up losing the others, how? you were unsure but the crowd was too loud to go back into. some people were scattered around the edges by the tents which is where you found yourself stumbling.

your legs were suddenly freezing, despite the pretty lacy black tights that covered them. you really did wish your mother had given you a heads up.

your spinny eyes looked to the tents and you wondered if you could get some warmth inside there. there was only one problem, it was much too dark and you were much too drunk to find your own one.

in a single tent, you could see the reflection of what appeared to be a lamp. it was one of the makeshift ones that the camp had made, a little fire in a box, lighting up the whole room. you could see the outline from the outside and you hoped and prayed that whoever's tent it was, they wouldn't mind you coming in for a little while.

one foot in front of the other, you reminded yourself, wobbling your way towards the tent.

in no time, you'd made it towards the entrance, pulling open the sheer curtain to reveal bellamy blake, sitting with his eyes closed against the sleeping back, arms behind his head.

"hello." you practically squeaked.

bellamy's eyes opened and he looked your frame up and down. "yes?"

"was jus' wondering..." you stumbled walked into the room, finger against the sticks holding the tend up. "wondering when the next supply run was on."

"yeah." he smacked his lips. "and then the real reason that you're here?"

he couldn't help it. as much as you disliked one another, bellamy had known you since you were young, you couldn't exactly get away with hiding much from him. a loud sigh left your lips as you plopped down on the blanket at the other side of the tent. "'m cold." your hands rubbed at your eyes. "really don' like bein' drunk, bells."

he cleared his throat, stiffening in his spot as he let his arms down. "why don't you go rest in your tent then, y/n?"

"can't find it." you blew air out from your lips. your eyes rose to meet his. "can i stay..?" your voice was low, you hardly knew what to expect back, you wouldn't have been surprised if he yelled at you to leave right then and there.

but instead, he pursed his lips. "you can stay." and your lips curved as he tossed you one of the hideous orange blankets. "here, cause you're so cold."

"you're the bestest." you yawned while laying on your back, the sound of monty's voice telling you that it wasn't a word filling your head. "do you remember when i used to sleep over at yours back on the ark?"

the fond memories filled his mind. "i do."

"i kind of miss that." you hiccuped, slurring your words. "miss the ark. i wanna go home, i think. but 's nice here, with octavia back, feel like she's been gone forever. when we were younger, we used to talk about coming to the ground together, you know? you were always in the plan, too, couldn't leave you behind."

jasper wasn't lying, you'd definitely felt more than a buzz.

your head turned despite being laid on the ground. bellamy was looking at you the same way he did so long ago, nothing had changed in his face, he didn't look a bit older, he just got taller and stockier. "you changed, bell. got mean."

you could tell there was a kind of guilt ridden in his eyes. "everyone changed, we had to."

"maybe." you slurred. "but i wouldn't have stopped loving you like that."

he thought back to everything that had happened. when octavia was put in prison and his mother was floated, he tried to find anyone he could to blame. he never stopped loving you, he just pushed you away until you stopped fighting.

his heart was stuttering. he hadn't spoken to you like this in... he didn't even know how long, that was what tore him up even more. but seeing you like this, talking to you like this, it was as if things had never changed. "still love me after everything?" it was almost a joke, the way he'd said it. he wasn't expecting you to truly respond.

but the words, "of course." came from your mouth before you could so much as think of an answer to say. "i'll always love you. do you think... do you think you could ever love me again, bells?"

he never stopped.

but he wasn't nearly as drunk as you, he couldn't say the words with such ease like you could. all you had to do was blame it on the booze. but this was real to him.

once again, he pursed his lips. "how about we talk about this when you're sober, 'kay princess?"

you sat up, eyes looking foggy, far away even.

the words set in and you realised he avoided your question completely.

no answer was still an answer, right?

"i should go." you mumbled under your breath, embarrassment sneaking its way through your cheeks, tears stinging at your iris'. you realised that you'd said more than you should have.

nothing was ever going to go back to the way it was.

"no, don't, angel―" but you were already getting up. bellamy had let you go once, he didn't plan on doing it again.

he too moved from his place, getting up and following you out of the tent. "come on, princess, let's just go back inside, yeah?"

he could hear you sniffle. "no, i just―"

you couldn't finish your sentence, you were already on the ground.

bellamy sped up, getting to you in three strides. "you're okay, baby, come on, let's go."

you shook your head, shaky breath leaving your lips. "no, bells, don't feel well."

bellamy hadn't watched you get drunk before but he'd watched enough and been in your position enough to know what was going to happen. "you're okay, sweet girl, just let it out." he was already scooping up your hair into a makeshift ponytail.

it took seconds before you were emptying your guts into the bush.

but the boy didn't say anything, holding your hair back and using his free hand to rub up and down your shirt. "there you go, atta girl."

but you didn't feel like you were doing anything right.

if anything, it just made everything so much worse.

as you moved your head away, you felt the tears beginning to sprout. "ruined everything." you mumbled feebly, feeling the weight of the situation hit you after the alcohol finally began to wear off.

"you didn't ruin anything." bellamy let your hair go, using his hands to wipe away the straying tears. "everything's fine, okay?"

but you shook your head, tears finding their way down your cheeks anyway. "i ruined your night, got sick and embarrassed myself and―and nothings ever gonna go back to the way it was and you're never gonna love me again and―"

"hey, hey, hey, look at me." you did as you were told, looking at him with red teary eyes. "i can't love you again because i never stopped loving you in the first place, okay?"

"you mean it?" all sniffily

"of course i mean it." with nothing other than the truth.

"you're not just saying it?"

"of course i'm not just saying it." the man helped you up. "come on, you need to rest."

you weren't too sure what to do now. you'd been so aching to get all of it off your chest that you hadn't even thought about what would happen after.

whatever it was, you were sure you and bellamy could face it together.

main masterlist/bellamy's masterlist

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Hey can you do cullens x reader when its readers first time sleeping over at there house and the reader kicks and sleep talks in there sleep? x

Pairing: Jasper Hale x human!reader

A/n: I don't do requests as much anymore, but since I'm in the hospital, waiting for surgery, unable to sleep 😅 anyway, it's not some masterpiece, but enjoy

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Does she always do that?" Emmett raised his eyebrows, a horrified look in his eyes.

"I've never stuck around long enough to notice", Edward notes with a slight frown, looking to Carlisle. "Their thoughts are too...graphic for my taste. And her dream makes her thoughts seem... saintly."

Chuckling, Jasper appears before them. "Are you badmouthing my mate?"

"She's moaning your name", Emmett grimaces. "I'm scarred for eternity."

Jasper smirks. "Imagine what sounds she makes when I'm actually touching her."

"If this is your tactic to chase us out of the house so you can get your dirty hands on Y/N....it's working." Edward admits before disappearing from sight.

"Carlisle, tell him to stop letting mortal women sleep over." Emmett insists, his eyebrows furrowing as he hears Y/N mumble about Jasper's lips.

"I won't forbid his mate from staying here....but we might soundproof his room."

"You know what's the worst part?" Rosalie storms in. "They have barely kissed and we are all listening to her nasty little fantasies."

"Rosalie", Carlisle warns as he sees Jasper's lips press in a thin line.

"I'm that good of a kisser", Jasper boasts proudly. "And if you don't want to listen to her fantasies come to life, you might wanna get out of earshot really, really fast."

"Someone has to stick around in case you decide her blood is sweeter than her moans", Rosalie remarks begrudgingly.

Jasper's smile is replaced with a scowl. "I'd never!" He swallows thickly, "I would rather die than harm a single hair on her head."

"Edward said that and now we have Bella."

Rosalie is right, Jasper realizes. Despite what he believes and wishes, he might never be able to bring Y/N's fantasies to life without him risking her life. And as long as she's not asking to become a vampire, he wouldn't dare. For his sanity, as well as everyone else's.

His human mate is too fragile for all the ways he wants to love her. Every move he makes around her has to be carefully thought out, even the slightest mistake could leave him devastated.

So, when he returns to her side, he lets out a gentle sigh. It's surprising how many human mannerisms he's adopted since she waltzed into his life, every bit of her mirrored in him.

Laying beside her, she kicks his chest and yelps. Waking up, hair disheveled, her eyes meet his golden hues and her lips spread in a warm smile.

"You're here", she mumbles, still half asleep.

"I promised, didn't I?" Jasper pulls her closer. "I'll be here until you say otherwise. Always."

Nuzzling her face in his neck, she relaxes and her breathing evens out.

Pressing a cool kiss to her forehead, Jasper closes his eyes. He might be unable to sleep, but he can still fantasize of a day where he will be able to do more than just peck her lips.

[flippinpancakes64]

cullens coming in on the reader crying

The Cullens walking in on you crying

Sorry that this took so long, I literally got in a car crash. I guess that's what I get for deciding to write fanfic.

For right now, my requests are closed as I am currently trying to catch up :'(

Anyway here's your story! Thank you for being patient and I hope you like it!

Edward:

Unless he was away from home, you wouldn't have even been able to think sad thoughts before he was right behind you

But assuming he was away and didn't notice your turmoil until he was close to the home, he is instantly by your side

When he goes up to your room and sees you curled up on your shared bed, he is instantly worried

Frantically scanning your mind for every possible thing that could have made you as upset as you are right now

If it was a person, his first thought is violence

If someone said something to you, he is instantly flying out of the house and hunting them down

He gets so blinded by rage that he doesn't even stop to think that you might just want comfort at that moment

So unless you can call out to him before he can leave, you're gonna have to wait until he comes back

But after he comes back, or if this was never about a person in the first place, he is instantly holding you

Rubbing your arms, petting your hair, whispering words to you

After you've calmed down he's asking you what you need

Your favorite food? Your favorite movie? You want to go out somewhere? You name it, he'll do it

Won't leave your side the rest of the night

Alice:

I get the sense that she's a bit clingy

So just the fact that you were able to be alone long enough to cry without her noticing is a one in a million chance

Unlike Edward she does not resort to violence, however

In a flash she is by your side, petting your hair, drying your tears, and asking you what's wrong

No matter what the issue is, she will stay by your side

She already has your favorite takeout on the way, your favorite movie on the TV, your favorite drink in a cup beside you, and your favorite pajamas neatly folded waiting for you to change

She will spend the whole night talking to you softly, braiding/messing with your hair (or just running her fingers through it if it's not long enough), and telling jokes she knows you'll laugh at

Doesn't leave your side

She doesn't even make you get up early to spend forever choosing the perfect outfit for you the next day

If it was a person who was making you sad, she goes out of her way to walk you to classes where she knows you'll see them

If they try anything in the future she is not afraid to stand up for you

Jasper:

He senses your mood change from a mile away

Like literally

He is out on a hunt with Emmett and he feels your mood change and he can feel the tears falling from your eyes

Jaguar or whatever the hell he had be damned he is running home

Wastes no time in going to your side

Asks what's wrong and then calmly listens

He brushes away the tears from your eyes and holds you in his arms as you let it all out

He'll make little snarky comments if this was about someone being mean

Is your 'yes' man

"I just want him to die!" "I completely agree, darlin'"

Again he is your personal servant for the night

Food, movie, drive around town going at least 100 mph

You name it, it's done

He's also not one to get violent, though

He knows his own limits

He is still very sensitive to blood

Is not willing to put their whole livelihoods at risk just to put some douche in their place

Rosalie:

As soon as she heard the first sob, she was up the stairs and in your room

Instantly cradling you, holding your head, giving you kisses on the cheeks, doing anything to calm you down

Once you finally muster up the words to say what happened, she is shushing you

After you explain, I mean

She doesn't want you just mumbling on and on

Because now she's in 'fix it' mode

Is running you a nice, warm bath with candles and bath bombs and everything

She cooks you something warm and nice

Puts on your favorite show or movie and lays next to you until you fall asleep

But if someone did this to you...

As soon as you're asleep she is up and out of the house

She might enlist the help of Emmett or Edward

Their tires are slashed, all of their shampoo is Nair, all of their clothes have been shrunk in the wash, etc.

She wouldn't tell you what she did

That's her little secret ;)

Emmett:

He gets a little scared at first

He doesn't really know how to deal with crying and really big emotions

I mean the biggest emotions he's ever felt were hunger and fear

Either way as soon as he hears you crying he is done with whatever else he was doing and is by your side

He sort of just.. sits there

He's rubbing your back and trying to be supportive and a listening ear

He will let all of your tears soak his shirt he does not care

Once you calm down enough you're gonna have to be the one to ask him to do things

Don't be scared to ask, he will do anything you want

He will ask you if you want him to go beat up the person who made you sad (if that's what happened)

But that's only half a joke

If you say no and laugh he'll laugh too

But once you're asleep....

He is out the door

That person is legitimately missing the next day

Police cannot find their body

Or any sign of them at all

Esme:

Ultimate comforter

She walked into the house after going grocery shopping for prop food for the house when she sees you

I feel like she would try to give you your space first

She would go up to you and ask if you're okay, but if you don't immediately say something she would quietly leave

When she was going through her own human heartbreaks all she wanted was to be alone

But she is on high alert

If you so much as whisper her name from all the way across the house she is there in an instant

Food, blankets, a board game, and maybe some wine if you're feelin it

She will help you make a blanket fort in the living room

(She also told everyone else to go away)

Listens intently and quietly while you explain everything that happened and why you're crying

If it's because of a self esteem issue she could start crying herself if she could

She thinks you are the most perfect person in the world

However if someone else did this to you I feel like she would have all of the tea

"What did you say their name was again? I recognize that last name, their mom was a hoe"

Carlisle:

He's really quiet about it

He doesn't want to intrude

So when he comes home and goes into his office to see you curled up on his chair crying he just leaves again

He slips a note to come into his room whenever you feel like it

When you get in there he has the bed all set up with pillows and blankets

The TV is on playing one of those YouTube videos of a crackling fireplace

Warm food is sitting on a tray for you

And he is sitting in the middle reading a book as he waited for you

He is there with open arms and open ears

He's really good at reading people

If you just want someone to talk at and complain to, he will happily sit there silently

If you want explanations, someone to bounce ideas off of, or an active listening partner he can do that too

I'm sorry but if you spoke bad about yourself he'd hit you with some bullshit

"Well actually *insert thing here* was very fashionable and considered very attractive in *insert random era here*"

And if it was someone else who said something to you it would also be insufferable

"The way you're describing this person sounds like they might have *insert mental illness here*"

Your best bet is to just tell him to stop talking

Vampire! Bella:

This girl knows sadness

I mean she was like a stationary rock for three months when Edward left her

She knows it sucked being alone too

So when she hears you crying she is right by your side

She also might have grabbed some tissues on her way

And oh she might have also grabbed the bowl of candy that Esme uses as decoration

And wow that's crazy she picked up your favorite sweatshirt of hers how weird

She is the ultimate yes man

If someone said something to you she chimes in about how she hates them too

If you're crying due to a self esteem issue she shoots that down immediately

If you're crying because of a movie she starts talking about how if she was human that movie would have made her cry too

The queen of yappersville

She could talk you to sleep

And tbh she probably does

The next day, if it was someone at school who made you cry, she gets all up in their face

Like I'm talking middle of the school hallway like "so I heard you had some things to say to my partner here yesterday, why don't you say them to me now?"

People are a little scared of her now

But at least no one messes with you anymore :)

[thewertsearch]

JASPERSPRITE: I think you should tell him that you like him you might not get the chance if you dont. […] AC: :33 < i know, but its just not that simple. i could make someone else jealous i think, and what if he doesnt f33l the same way, and, urrgh, its so complickated

I totally understand Nepeta’s perspective here. She’s always been hyper-aware of the meteor’s relationship dynamics, and would naturally be overwhelmed by the interpersonal implications of pursuing Karkat.

That said, I think this was a misstep on her part. I don’t think that Terezi – the rival I assume she’s alluding to – would actually mind sharing Karkat with Nepeta. The latter is clearly looking for a redrom, and Terezi always seemed to have red and black feelings for Karkat. Having Nepeta fill his hearts quadrant would help Terezi settle into spades, thus stabilizing their relationship.

JASPERSPRITE: I have another story that might give you hope even though it should be noted again that im only a cat. […] JASPERSPRITE: Yes one time i was with rose and i was sitting there dressed up in my suit with her as happy as can be. JASPERSPRITE: But then she disappeared! JASPERSPRITE: The whole place disappeared and i was in another place. […]

Ooh, now this is one of the oldest mysteries remaining in the comic.

Come to think of it, it’s odd that Rose never asked Jaspersprite about this event before. Sure, she asked him why he meowed as he was spirited away, but she never asked him where he was spirited away to.

JASPERSPRITE: […] There was no rose there was someone else. JASPERSPRITE: I guess i loved her too in time but never as much as rose it just wasnt the same.

A woman or girl, then. My original theory was that Jaspers was snatched by either Rose or Mom - but since Jaspers clearly didn't recognize his new owner, I'm going to have to reassess things.

...I suppose it still could have been Rose or Mom, but they'd have to look very different from the Lalondes we know, so that Jaspers would no longer recognize them. Perhaps an older version of Rose, from much later in the comic - but then again, wouldn't a cat still recognize Rose by smell? Jaspers seems to be telling us, quite clearly, that his new owner was not a Lalonde.

Well, what are the other possibilities, then? I'm assuming his owner was a human, because if Jaspers was stolen by an alien, he'd probably comment on the fact. Plus, the only troll with any interest in Jaspers is Nepeta - and Nepeta won't be doing very much of anything very soon.

I guess he could have been swiped by some version of Jade, such as the future incarnation who serves as the Pen-Pal's 'grandmother'. I have no idea what she'd want with Jaspers, or why she'd return him - but we still don't know anything about Future Jade's activities, so that's just par for the course with her.

JASPERSPRITE: I kept waiting to see rose again but never did and finally i lost hope that i would and then i died. JASPERSPRITE: But then i became alive again and i got to see her and i was so happy! Purr purr purr purr purr. JASPERSPRITE: Thats my story and thats why i think theres always hope even if you die. AC: :33 < so, youre saying that maybe i will have to die to get to be with him? JASPERSPRITE: Yes maybe. :3

I certainly hope not. Not because I want Nepeta’s ghost to be lonely, of course – I just don’t want Karkat to be entering the afterlife any time soon!

[greenlaut]

death of the divine ✸

as your flatter talk shivers down my spine i hear the Holy One exposing all the lies (Lord, forgive me, i know my flesh needs to die) x

baal / lucifer / michael from angels before man and angels & man by @nicosraf

close-ups + work progress under the cut

og sketches

cleaned up sketch (i can't perceive my own messy sketch's coherency ok)

1st version. didn't like how thick the lineart and the colour palette isn't clicking with me. is so i scrapped it. decided i want to do frame/illuminated manuscript thingy so i added frame and re-centered michael.

i kind of winged it for the final version, so i don't have progress of me picking colour palette or compositions. idk how i did it, i just did it, it was hard. i had a bad day so i blanked out the entire day to just lose myself in this illustration. and then uh. tada.

now some close-ups:

and some notes:

i know i want lucifer's skin to come across as "gold", so i keep picking his colour in the orange spectrum. bcs yanno--the sun (morningstar). naturally baal is more red leaning, which i think also suits his lion associated imagery well (because lion -> strength card (in tarot deck) -> red. idk, it's how my brain is)

originally michael doesn't wear an armour. i decided last minute to put him in one because fuck it; (1) armour cool and (2) i am a masochist ig

both baal and lucifer wear lipgloss. this is entirely dedicated to rafael's (the author. not the angel.) suffering. they share lipgloss by kissing, you fools.

michael has "jellyfish" hairstyle because. the front bob kinda reminds me how catholic friars/monks in certain schoolings cut their hair in that bob hair? yknow the one?? ya?? anyway it's for that imagery.

both baal and lucifer's legs are caging michael. bcs they're what ground him (vices/temptations) ahahahahaa

i actually asked rafael (author not the angel) and he said he imagined baal is a brunette, which is the same like i had in mind. except that baal asked that he got depicted as a wizened old man/wizard. so now he gets a beard and his hair is white. (he also insisted i gave him a stylish beard)

if u look closely at the jewelries the demons wore; one of lucifer's rings and baal's visible earring have gemstones the colour of michael's eyes

in return, michael's sash is the colour of the demons

baal has a ring with heliodor (yellow) for lucifer, and lucifer has a(nother) ring with red ruby for baal

baal's other gemstones are topaz and lucifer's are yellow jasper

both demons have pearl necklaces. they're supposed to represent michael('s wings ahahahahahaahaha)

my headcanon is that michael's wings are brown like sparrow's actually. BUT during the war, god gave him more power and authority and my understanding is that he got tempered into a perfect sword; so his wings turned white. when book 3 came out and they finally bang (I FUCKING HOPE THEY DO. RAFAEL. THIS IS FOR YOU RAFAEL.) his wings will turn brown againehehhehe

lucifer's coat has wing-like cut at the ends to represent his no longer existing wingsbye

michael is blue because one time i shared this imagery with rafael; michael wearing blue because of the same reason virgin mary is depicted in blue. god's favourites are in blue; fated to suffer and be left behind.

fin.

[soupdwelling]

adding onto this, in the beanies scene with the hot chocolate in nerdy prudes must die steph was also there at beanies with pete so i’m assuming, if she was also there in tgwdlm, they probably got infected around the same time? i don’t know if he ever actually received his hot chocolate in tgwdlm but assuming he did maybe he got infected from that and then infected steph right after. like in the tgwdlm version of the if i loved you scene instead of them arguing it’s just pete singing to steph while she gets more and more concerned until he finally infects her at the end. it’s sort of like you tied up my heart from tgwdlm but pete’s song is digging directly into steph’s trauma. like “join me and you won’t have to deal with the expectations of everyone anymore you’re perfect for me just let me rip out ur guts rq” type thing. and steph’s like really confused and scared but she also cares about pete and tries to help him but ends up getting infected in the end.

and then they have a super awesome power couple song while they take down solomon lauter or something

one of my favorite things about hatchetfield is that the side characters in one show are the main characters in another. like when we see pete in tgwdlm we know his backstory and like who he is, or when bill mentions grace chasity we fully know who that is and what she’s like. it makes it a lot more immersive, we can be like “i know her!!! i saw her in abstinence camp!!” and when we see the infected people in tgwdlm we’re like “oh no pete got infected??” the story isn’t just focused on a few people we kinda know or know of most characters and it’s fun i love that

[t-a-a-1]

The Darkest Hour

Ch.4: Guardian

Summary: After being labeled as crazy for trying to report that robot aliens exist on national television, you lose your job and move to Jasper City. In a drastic turn of fate, you meet Optimus Prime. You and Team Prime get together to find ancient relics that are vital to the Autobot's cause.

Along the way, you and Optimus start to develop feelings that go beyond comradeship.

But what happens when he discovers you've been lying all of this time?

For a better reading experience you can read this story on Ao3:

>>>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60642838/chapters/157365316

Ch.4: Guardians

     It was rather quiet at the base. Ratchet sometimes would look at the hangar's elevated floor. He thought he would see you there. He didn't find you as annoying as other humans. You were rather curious. Asking about all things Cybertronian. It was like talking to a child sometimes but he didn't mind explaining especially when you had questions about Cybertronian biology.

    He didn't want to admit it but he-

Beep. Beep.

"Oh? I got a video from (Y/n)!"

    Ratchet hears Jack exclaim from the sofa and this immediately gets his attention.

"I don't have enough time. I have been abducted by Decepticons. I'll lead them to the relic located in Fingal's Cave, Northern Ireland two days from now. Retrieve my cell phone from my house. I am sorry."

.

.

.

    You didn't have time.

You rapidly click 'sent' before breaking your laptop in half. You know they were coming for you and as soon as you heard the doors open, you quickly grabbed one cigarette.

    Two Decepticons dragged you across the Nemesis. You couldn't walk a lot, probably due to a broken bone or something else.

    It took about three minutes to reach another door. Everything looked the same except for a few purple colors and other doors that had guards.

    One of the doors opened and the two Decepticons pushed you inside, making fall to the floor.

"What is our status with the machine?"

"We still need to make modifications. The human mind is different from that of a Cybertronian," Knockout tried his best to figure out a way to make his machinery work. "Getting into her memories will be difficult without the proper materials."

"Then I trust that you will be making progress soon, Knockout."

    The lights in the room blinded you.  Not because they were too bright but due that you were deprived of light for two days.

    Two Decepticons carried you by the arms, you were too weak to walk, your stomach hurts, your head too and your energy was low.

"Prisoner was seen scavenging on the vault."

"I was looking for food!" you muster all the strength you had to defend yourself. "I've been here for two days and haven't eaten a thing."

"Wasn't the Energon cup I left on your cell enough?"

    The Decepticon was an automobile that you found a bit strange but you didn't have the right mind to question it. Things were just the way they were.

"Humans don't eat Energon, I'll die! Shouldn't you be smart enough to know that?"

    A taller figure walks in front of you. His steps made the entire floor move but you had gotten used to the feeling of it. He studies you, walks around you and his optics pierce through your soul.

"The fact that you are still standing after yesterday's event is admirable. I wouldn't expect anything less from Optimus' pet."

    You didn't like the sound of that but you were too tired to fight it. Your body is in pain from all the bruises and maybe a few other injuries. They had beat you up after you refused to speak. It wasn't for a long time, Megatron seemed to know that you would be a difficult one.

"What were you looking for in the vault?"

    Megatron asks and you don't say a word. You look away.

"I won't ask again," he gets closer to your face. So close that you could see his optics and the mechanics behind it. There wasn't a single thing that didn't move as small as it seemed. Everything had a function and it fascinated you. "What were you looking for in the vault? Was it your bag? Anything of importance in there?"

    You took a few seconds to respond and you raised a hand. You slowly opened it, putting one cigarette in front of his face.

"What is this ... artifact?"

    Megatron takes the cigarette in his hand, inspecting it.

"I was looking for my bag ... because I wanted that. It makes me less hungry."

    The Decepticon leader drops the cigarette on the floor and steps on it. Crushing your hopes.

"Pain may not be enough to make you speak," Megatron keeps looking at you and as much as you would like to keep the eye-staring contest, you struggle to keep your eyes open.

"But let's wait and see how you react after hunger takes over you."

"I won't talk."

    It hurts to even do so.

"Oh, but all of this would be so much easier if you did," he turns around and walks towards a berth. One that is not completely functional. At least it doesn't work with humans. Yet. "Regardless, we'll get what we want. Talk or do not talk, the choice is yours."

...

    It has been a couple of days since you had left the base. It has been quiet around here without you. The kids can be a bit nosey but nothing the Autobots couldn't handle.

    Optimus wonders what you would do if you were here. Would you be on your laptop? Maybe have a conversation with him? If you wanted, he could talk to you for hours, giving you information about Cybertronian culture. In exchange, he could ask you about human traditions. After the talk you two had about the human process of creating life, he was particularly curious about the human body.

    He had just come back from patrol duty with Bumblebee when he heard a lot of talking between his Autobot friends.

"Optimus!"

    Ratchet's preoccupied voice was something he wasn't fond of. It could mean two things. One, someone had messed up with one of his experiments. Two, bad news.

"(Y/N) has been captured by the Decepticons!"

Or three. Horrible news.

....

Bombs. Guns. Granades.

Screams. Fire. Blood. Pain. 

    When you were told that you were going to report on the war in a faraway land, you were excited. This was going to be your big step. The thing that will mark your career forever.

And it did mark you. Forever. But in ways you thought unimaginable.

It wasn't until you saw men, women and children being killed that you truly realized how stupid the world really is. It's a war and no one ever wins. So why? Why?

"Will I ever stop ... being so useless?"

    Another day of not eating.

You didn't know when you were going to start to hallucinate. Maybe you already were. You wished you could smell the outside air. You had not realized how different the air is when the majority of living creatures occupying the area are alien robots. It's a different type of smell. Clean and sanitized, kinda like the smell of a hospital but with a more metal element to it.

    The doors from your prison cell open. You are thankful because you hated the dark. Not really a phobia but many thoughts cross your mind when there is no light around you.

    Megatron slowly makes his way towards you.

He is not that intimidating. Are you afraid? Yes, of course. But if you had to compare, Optimus had a more menacing frame. Although Megatron's eyes could frighten anyone, the way he moves and presents himself does not imply any harm. You won't underestimate him. Not a bit.

"I won't say a word."   

    You say as you look at him. You sat in a corner, nothing was tying you down. Not like it matters, it's not like you could do much against giant robots.

"I did not come here for that," his voice is way less intimidating. In different circumstances, Optimus could very well have been the villain. "I have come for a small conversation."

"If you think you can manipulate me into talking-"

"I would rather like to call it ... convincing you with words."

    You knew this was going to be an interesting conversation.

"Words are powerful."

    You say as he stands in front of you. You don't stand up, having a nice view of his posture. You can tell so much by the way someone moves.

"Agreed."

    You wait for a few seconds, keeping eye contact. The room didn't look so dark now as Megatron had this purple aura that surrounded him.

    You didn't know what he wanted but you were waiting for him to speak. But he was also studying you, trying to find the best way to talk to you.

"Eons ago, I was a young gladiator trying to survive."

    Out of everything, you didn't imagine Megatron to be a storyteller. Oh, but how much you loved a good tale. Especially the ones about myths and legends of great warriors doing the impossible. Even if it's a story about a bot becoming a destroyer of worlds.

"Every day, as I exited the pit after killing comrades, I would watch the upper classes cheer for me."

    He seems to remember the cheers, the chanting crowds. But his optics had changed, for a second, he was lost. Going back to those moments. There is some fear in them and you didn't know if he was being honest or it's another manipulation tactic.

"But what was there to cheer for? I had massacred Cybertronians. Someone like me and them."

    You didn't doubt his words. At least there is some truth to them, you could tell as much.

"I would kill as I watched them eat the best kind of Energon. Drink the rarest of oils and wear the highest of tech accessories."

    Megatron gets closer to you but he never kneels. He still believes he is above you. It's comical. Telling you stories about the inequality he suffered when there will never be a time he will see you as equal.

"Do you know what that feels like? Being tortured if you failed? Your spinal cord breaking and have no spare parts to repair it? While I see others throw parts into the pit, like their lives meant nothing."

    Rage. He is filled with it. Finally, an emotion you could sympathize with or at least recognize. You didn't break eye contact nor were afraid. If he wanted to kill you, he had done so a very long time ago. You are more curious and in awe at the being in front of you.

    His metal was damaged and scratched, his tall figure and spiky demeanor. He appears to be fierce, he had to be, otherwise he wouldn't be here. But you can't help and wonder if he had been allowed a different life, would he be different?

"I don't fight for freedom," Megatron says. "I fight for my survival."

    You sigh heavily and your eyes show nothing but exhaustion. You muster the strength to speak. You can't give him anything but your sympathy.

"... You must be so tired."

    You must be hallucinating because for a moment you could have sworn you saw something else in those red eyes.

    Megatron turns around, no longer allowing you to see his face.

"Optimus was just like those Cybertronians I hated and he continues to be one. The system I fight to break, he continues to fight to repair it."

He steals a glance your way and he notices your concern.

"He was part of the crowd. Enjoying every match, every death. Laughing as it happened. How did you think we met?"

    He walks back towards you but you notice his steps have become slower. The floor didn't tremble as much as if he was being careful without knowing.

"Oh? Didn't he tell you?"

    You part your sight away from his. After a heavy sigh, you take up the courage to look at him again.

"We've been looking for ancient Cybertronian relics," you don't have another option. You had to sacrifice a little bit of truth to survive. "We don't know their function yet but we believe that they might be parts of something bigger."

"And do you know the location of these relics?"

"Just of one, the rest of the information is on my cellphone."

    He seems to be interested now or rather atypical about your wording. He probably doesn't know certain terminology.

"And where is this cellphone you speak of?"

    You muster a smile. You know Megatron can be a great negotiator, but so are you.

"If you want to know, I'll have my bag. With my cigarettes."

....

Fingal's Cave, Northern Ireland.

    The night is dark and full of mysteries. Especially in dark caves where the waves of the sea clash against the rocks. It would have been a perfect vacation, had you not been kidnapped by evil alien robots. This might be nothing for them, maybe just a nice bubble bath. But to you? It's a certain death. You don't even know how to swim.

    You stand next to Megatron. Behind you, there are a few warrior Decepticons. It was cold and humid and your intrusive thoughts made you want to jump into the crazed waves.

"The relic should be right there," you point to one of the walls and Megatron quickly looks at his army. It took only one look for them to know what they were supposed to do. Excavate.

You waited for a few seconds and noticed how fast they were putting away rocks and dust. Soon they will reach the relic and once they have what they want they will take you back to the Nemesis.

    Suddenly, a green moving circle appears on the other side of the cave. You are a bit relieved. For a moment you genuinely thought they wouldn't appear.

    It's the first time you see a ground bridge. It's beautiful and even more the aliens coming out from it. Tall, big, strong. Everything you weren't and for a moment you feel guilty. They shouldn't be here. They shouldn't be worrying about an insignificant life such as yours.

"Took you all long enough."

    Optimus stands in front of his team. A battle mask covers half of his face, he looks fierce. You had never seen him like this before. He was intimidating and you were a bit scared of what he could do.

"Let (y/n) go, Megatron."

"Did you bring her cell phone?"

    A shiver runs down your spine. You look up at him and he looks at you. Your eyes and his optics meet for a second. Unable to control your confusion, your voice betrayed you. With Megatron, showing emotion is a fatal mistake.

"What? How do you-"

"Nothing happens in the Nemesis without me knowing. Or do you think I was careless enough to leave your cell-door open?" his voice resonates within the containment of the cave. Not even the waves crashing could subside his voice. "I wanted you to contact them so they could do all the work for me."

"I am sure you must have led them to other relics. If they want you, they must turn them in as well."

    You began to panic, your plan was crumbling. It was your fault for believing you could outsmart a million-years living creature.

"It's not true! They don't have them, I never-"

"We have one."

    If looks could kill, your eyes would have killed Optimus. In fact, the Autobots have two relics. Optimus is lying and although a part of you is glad to know he could lie, right now you wish he had stayed quiet.

"Then you know what you must do."

    Megatron suddenly picks you up, putting you a few meters above the water level.

    You didn't know what to say. There was no guarantee that after receiving the relic, Megatron would let you go safely. Most importantly, you didn't understand. Why would the Autobots risk losing a valuable item over a human? There were many of you and only a few of those artifacts.

    Optimus doesn't hesitate and uses his comm-link. Speaking clearly, he calls Ratchet, ordering him to bring one relic through the ground bridge.

    Meanwhile, you see the Decepticons work on obtaining the other relic. They must be close as their excavation has become slower, maybe due that they do not want to damage the relic.

    You try to find a way to break free but Megatron's grasp is too strong.  Your body has started giving up, you haven't eaten in four days and your mouth tastes like cigarettes.

    After a few tense minutes, Ratchet comes from the groundbridge, holding the white pot that contained the relic. You instinctively move your head from side to side. You didn't want to be the reason they lost it.

"Starscream, retrieve the relic and the cell phone."

    You didn't notice the Commander before. Your senses must be failing you by now. He passes by Megatron and you know that if he could, he would push the leader of the Decepticons into the water.

"My pleasure, my liege."

    And as he passes by, you can see Ratchet's disappointed face. All of their faces, as a matter of fact. You hated being useless and being used. You thought that staying quiet was the best option. But after seeing Optimus hand down your cell phone to Starscream and his cocky smile, you couldn't have it.

"Just go!" you scream, hoping that your voice is loud enough. "I'll figure it out! You don't have to do this!"

    But it's like they weren't paying attention. Like your opinion didn't matter at all. Like you were a liability that had to be taken care of, not listened to.

    Ratchet hesitantly gives the white ceramic pot to Starscream who aggressively takes it in his claws. He happily walks back to his Master as if he had finished completing the hardest of missions.

"You have what you wanted. Now let her go!"

    Optimus threatens Megatron but it only amuses him. He looks at you, taking a few seconds to appreciate your face one last time.

"Lord Megatron, we have retrieved this place's relic."

    Starscream says as the army of Decepticons had successfully extracted the artifact and that's everything Megatron needed to hear.

"A deal it's a deal," Megatron crossed optics with Optimus.  "But this is for lying."

    He opens his claws, letting you go and dropping you into the wild waves.

    Megatron watches as Optimus jumps to save you. A selfless act, very much like him. What he was doing for you, he would do for anyone else. But there was something about it. Something that Megatron knew would catch Optimu's attention. Whatever it was, he would figure it out eventually. For now, he will let Prime have you. To let him enjoy his human pet as much as he can. Before taking you away.

"Next time, bring me all the relics you have, Prime. Or she will pay the price."

    Bulkhead, Arcee and Bumblebee didn't even hesitate to go after him. They focused on helping Optimus and it was too late regardless. Megatron was already one step inside the groundbrige, ready to go back to the Nemesis.

"How did you know they had more relics?" Starscream walks behind Megatron, curious about his actions.

"I didn't," he says. "It's all a bet. Besides ..."

    Megatron stops walking and quickly glances back. Getting a glimpse of Optimus coming out of the water, holding your fragile body.

"She's not half bad."

....

    The first thing that crossed your mind after waking up was ... work.

Fowler told you to not worry about it and that things had been taken care of.

    You didn't want to ask any further.

Especially after learning that you could no longer go back to your home.

    It took you a couple of days to recover.

Falling into the wild waters of Fingal's Cave had done more injuries than the ones the Decepticons inflicted on you. Your body crashed a few times into rocks before Optimus rescued you.

     But the pain in your body did not compare to the disappointment you feel.

    You couldn't even look at the Autobots without feeling ashamed.

Now you can't even go home now.

"I apologize as for you now have to remain here. But it must be in your best interest to stay since the Decepticons know of your home location."

    You didn't hear Optimus come through the rooftop door. Even with his massive steps and weight. Maybe you had gotten used to the sound of walking bots too fast.

"You may not be too fond of sharing a home but I promise you we are not too loud."

    The top of the hangar gave you the best view of the Nevada desert. With sad rocks and a few cacti... alright maybe it wasn't that visually appealing.

    But the night sky made up for it.

"I don't do good with people ... and bots," you pull out a cigarette from your jacket's pocket and light it up. Hearing Optimus coming closer and sitting down on the cliff with you.

    You immediately move away for a few centimeters, feeling uncomfortable at the closeness. You didn't notice your body had acted this way but Optimus did.

"I can sense some hostility emitting from you."

    Optimus optics lay on you but you wouldn't spare him a look.

"Optimus was just like those Cybertronians I hated and he continues to be one. The system I fight to break, he continues to fight to repair it."

    You didn't know if you should bring up the matter or just keep it to yourself. But after the events at the Nemesis, you find yourself unable to look at Optimus the same. Not like it matters much, but deep down, a part of you wanted to trust him ... to believe in him.

"If there are any concerns-"

"Megatron told me," you interrupt him, the act feels disrespectful but you hope he didn't feel like that. "That you used to enjoy watching him fight and kill others in the gladiator's pits. That you fight to bring the caste system back."

"While is true that I used to attend such activities, I never supported it," subconsciously, Optimus wanted you to look at him. He needed your acknowledgment, something you refused to give him at the moment.    

    "Megatron and I used to share similar ideologies. But he believed that equality could only be obtained if the other classes were eliminated."

"And you?"

"I believe that every sentient being has the ability to change."

    You let out a subsided laugh, looking down at your lap and then up again at the desert night.

    "So what? You were hoping to change a whole social class with pretty words and inspiring speeches?"

"We cannot build a new world founded on violence."

"And where has that led you? To a strange planet and your race almost extinct."

    He had good sentiments, you admired that but at some point you consider naivety to be stupidity.

"Cybertron will be rebuilt on tragedy," you say.

"And what am I supposed to do? Let him have his way?"

    You have noticed that Optimus speaks less formally when he finds himself in a tough spot. Now, it was one of those moments. Your words had hit a circuit but you didn't want for this to turn into an argument. Not when you wanted to gain his sympathy.

"I am not saying I know what's best. What I am saying is that I thought you..."

    You couldn't continue with your sentence. Because what you wanted to say was stupid and based on old ideas. Maybe deep down, you wished Optimus was that hero the world needed. But he was a leader. The leader of a war where there is no winner. He could only do what he did best. And that was making the hard decisions no one else could.

    You had put too much expectations on his shoulders. He can't be a hero and a leader at the same time. If he were to be a hero, he would have been dead long ago. But his team needed him alive, he couldn't afford to die a martyr. He must know that.

"Listen to me Prime," you called him by his first name. Now more than ever, you believe there will never be a time when you will call him by his first name. "Everyone is a slave to something. Even you are enslaved to your own stupid ideologies of hope."

    You were always precausious to never show your beliefs. Maybe years ago, you shared similar sentiments as Optimus. You saw yourself in him and you wanted to save him. Save him from the disappointment of the real truth of your world.

"But let me tell you this; you have those views because you lived through better times. You have tasted peace and solemnity," you had no stand to be lecturing him. Yet, you didn't see it that way. You were just speaking your feelings.

      "But them? Working as miners, being gladiators just for your entertainment? They never had what you did. This is their hope to have better times."

    You sigh heavily and feel your lungs struggle to breathe.

"And you just took that from them."

    Seconds turned into minutes and you thought Optimus would stand up and leave you alone. But he instinctively got closer to you. He probably didn't notice his actions.

"I used to really enjoy watching your old reports."

    The leader of the Autobots looks back fondly at the younger version of you. A few years back you had done a story about a small town that had been struck by a tornado. Many died and homes were destroyed.

    But instead of focusing on the downside of things, you talked about how the community came together to help each other build back their town. The resilience and strength. Optimus was inspired by how such small things could build things bigger than themselves.

     "Even when the report was about a catastrophic event, you always ended things positively."

"In the days where I had doubts, where I thought I couldn't do this anymore, I ... "

    He pauses, he can't understand the feeling in his spark but his voice box struggles to process words.

"I would watch you on TV and you would give me inspiration to continue my mission."

    His formality had dropped drastically and you wonder if this was his way to let his guard down and open up to you.

"But now that you are telling me this ... I think you are right," his voice cracks and your world crumbles.  "What is left worth fighting for?"

You didn't know Optimus could feel doubt and hesitancy. You are reminded of the power of words. How you, a small insignificant human could make a robot full of wisdom question the truth of his life? It was too much power and you didn't want it. You didn't want Optimus to view life the way you do. So pessimistic, so gloomy.

    You didn't believe in any of it, hope, love. None of that was enough to change the world. But Optimus didn't have to know that.

You wanted him to keep believing. To belive he could change the world with just words.

Fuck the truth.

"Megatron is full of rage," you say. "And sometimes rage allows us to live. To survive."

    You decide to overstep boundaries and you put a hand over his servo. But you don't look at him, too shy to do so.

"But faith does too."

    You were no one to question his beliefs. If you were completely honest, you would like to keep enjoying the company of this Optimus. The optimistic one, resilient, strong with unbreakable morals.

But in the back of your mind, the question still remains. There's no victory without sacrifice.

What if to win the war, to give meaning to the lives of fallen ones, he has to sacrifice his ideologies and beliefs?

What would you do ... Optimus?

"(Y/n)," Optimus calls your name so sweetly you feel your body shake up a little.

    He holds your hand, so delicately, so softly as if he is afraid of hurting you. As if he is afraid you might break. You had never been held so fondly,  your heart feels like melting.

"I have failed miserably in protecting you," He looks at your body and you feel like his optics pierce through your soul.  You feel seen but you didn't mind it one bit. "The injuries in your body are proof of it."

"I am aware we are strangers to titles but I would like to establish a new relationship."

    You didn't understand how he could make you feel in such a way. In a state of warmth and peace. How his presence alone was enough to comfort and heal wounds that go beyond physical pain.

"If you accept me as your guardian, I'll protect you and no harm shall ever find your way. I'll give my life for you if necessary. I'll do as you ask and have your safety as one of my purposes for living. Under these stars as a witness, I swear this to you."

    Like the stars above, there were many mysteries you didn't understand. You thought that maybe Optimus was one of those mysteries as well. Otherwise, you didn't understand how such a beautiful creature would ever put your life above his own. Does he see you as a bothersome being? Probably. But you don't mind. A part of you wanted to be protected by such a powerful creature. A righteous one at least. Maybe he does see you as a pet to be taken care of.

    But now that you think about it ... You don't mind devoting yourself to him either.

"I accept but under one condition," you wish you could be closer to his face, you feel a need to look closer at his optics.  "If you protect me ... then I'll take care of you."

"Care for me?"

"If you ever have doubts, if you feel lonely, or if you just want to talk,"  all of a sudden you feel shy and you quickly part your sight. You didn't have the time to think the reason why. "I want to share the burden of your decisions with you, please."

"You will do that for me?"

    He blinks multiple times, unsure of your words and you find this cute.

"You are willing to give up on your life for me," you make a small pause before continuing. "It's the least I can do."

    Looking at a desert wasn't fun. But talking always was. Especially with an alien robot with millions of years' worth of wisdom. It's strange how you always felt better after talking to Optimus. He doesn't seem to be the type to judge and that's what you appreciated the most about him.

"(Y/N), You have proven to be more than meets the eye," you hear his voice closer and immediately turn. He had slouched significantly to be able to see you face to face. It must be an uncomfortable position but he still made the effort to see you at an eye level.

    Maybe he also had a certain need to be as close as possible to you.

"I am glad the universe allowed us to encounter."

And before you could have the time to blush again, your brain replayed his words.

"Don't you mean optic? You guys don't have eyes."

    Optimus straightens his back, no longer looking at you. This time he looks up at the sky, he looks curiously at them. Putting a servo on his chin, he looks to be in deep thought.

"That is true. But that is an ancient saying of my people."

"If it's an ancient saying then can we assume your kind and mine have met before?"     You tilted your head, imagining the possibilities. You move your feet into a yoga position, feeling more comfortable.

"That is an interesting theory although I don't remember reading such things back at the archives. Maybe it's something worth investigating."

    Optimus also thought of the possibilities, maybe this could be tied to the relics.

"Oh! Do you want to investigate it together?" this could be an important piece to your report. It would also be more credible if you had an actual Transformer help you write on what is probably one of the greatest discoveries in human history.

     "We could write a report on it and give an informative presentation to the kids and the Autobots."

You put your hands up and them move them slowly in a parting motion.

"Cybertron and Earth: A Deeper Look Into Cybertronian-Human Relations and Why Our History Is Longer Than We Think."

The topic sounded more interesting to Optimus and the archivist in him started to show. You knew this by the way he would blink more often. It happened whenever something excited him.

"That sounds like a remarkable and revolutionary subject. I could try to look into Cybertron's' old archives and see if I can find something related to the topic."

If Optimus could always be excited like this, you wish you could hear him talk forever. Could he tell you all the stories and tales of his people. But would it hurt him to speak about them? To reminiscence the past may open old wounds and you didn't want to be the cause of it. You won't push it but you'll wait until he is ready.

"And I'll interview Fowler and see if he knows something or knows someone that knows more of the topic." That will be a challenge but there hasn't being a single person who never gave you an interview. Of course, you find your way. Ethical or not, it didn't matter as long as the truth was revealed.

"I  am looking forward to hearing about your findings."

"I am excited to look at your research too!"

That night you learned many things. About Optimus especially. About how he would blink a lot whenever something got him excited. About how he loses his formality in words when he gets comfortable, excited or angry. Things like this made him feel closer to you as if he wasn't from an alien race but rather just another living creature existing in the same universe. And that's exactly what it was.

One hour turned into two, then three, four. Time passed by so fast, just talking and enjoying each other company. You smoked a few cigarettes and promised Optimus to buy a few gallons of oil for him to enjoy next time.

Although you were still downhearted for being unable to return to your home, you tried to look at the bright side of things. It was something you weren't used to do. But being with Optimus, his optimism rubbed off on you.

    You two talked endlessly until you fell asleep on his servos. Optimus watched the sunrise; grateful to have met you, thinking how beautiful it was to love the ordinary. For at least, and with all the certainty in the universe he knew ... he was worthy of this.

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A/N: This chapter took longer than I expected and I think after this one I am going to work on another fic (from another fandom) because I am so close to finishing that story and I just haven't uploaded in sometime. But! I'll be writing one shots for tumblr. I'll start working on a one shot for Christmas! The poll is over and we have a winner. Thank you to everyone who voted and all the comments, notes and likes. I'll take my time to respond to each of you :) My inbox is always open for any comment, ideas, concerns or prompts ideas.

I definitely want for Reader and Optimus to have chemistry. I think it's very important to show interaction with each other and show why they are attracted instead of them just having them fall randomly? Like I want to show Optimus and Reader have similar interest and passions but having contrasting ideas. I'll probably have them dancing and being silly together at some point.

On the next chapter I'll have Reader do some actual work. She's gonna be undercover (she has to dress seductively to fit into the world of car racing where she meets a hot mechanic who teaches her a lot about cars and Optimus has to follow her around cause that's his job as his guardian. His circuits go crazy cause he can't understand why all of a sudden he finds a human attractive-)

I want Optimus to feel like he has something of his own, something only he can protect and take care of because he can and wants (by choice) and it's not forced upon him nor a responsibility to bear (like the matrix) and that lovely thing being you ofc.

Sorry for an errors and grammar mistakes, I don't proof read.

I also feel like I haven't used much of the other bots so I'll make sure to use them more often now if the plot requires it.

I think that's all for now. Thank you so much for reading and see you in the next chapter!

Previous Chapter:

https://www.tumblr.com/t-a-a-1/768513873838030848/the-darkest-hour?source=share

Next Chapter: Soon

[miss-may-i]

Miss May I: Season 5 Part 56

Damian: Hey. You making a bottle for the little guy?

Julian: Oh, no. Just ice cream. The boys are asleep.

Damian: Hey, I wanted to apologize for earlier.

Julian: Why? You're single. This is your house.

Damian: This isn't just my house. It's our house. And Bella's. You and the boys shouldn't have seen that, so I'm sorry.

Julian: It's okay.

Damian: Why were you back so soon anyways?

Julian: Noah never showed up.

Damian: For real?

Julian: For real.

Damian: Fuck that guy pisses me off. So many people would kill for two great kids and a beautiful wife, and he doesn't care. All he cares about is himself and drugs.

Damian: Don't let that idiot tear you down. You're doing a great job all on your own.

Julian: Really? 'Cause it feels like I keep fucking up. I don't even know how I'm going to feed my kids without the lodge. Our whole world was relying on that piece of shit.

Damian: It's not a piece of shit just because you worked so hard on it. You've come so far. Don't let this set you back now.

Julian: I just wish Nathan had the decency to die with Jade.

Damian: Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky.

Julian: I don't get lucky. I only get a small glimpse of good things so the universe has something to take away from me.

Damian: You have your boys, and they're not going anywhere. You have Vivi, you have your friends. You have me ...

Julian: You're just lucky I haven't brought you down with me yet. I almost did ... when we were 15.

Damian: To tell you the truth ... I was hoping I was Jasper's father.

Julian: You don't mean that. You don't know how hard it is.

Damian: I do mean that. My life is hard as it is already, and I have nothing to show for it. I have nothing that makes all this hard worth it.

Julian: What about Luna?

Damian: It's nothing serious. I'm tired of being used by people.

Julian: Yeah, tell me about it.

Damian: Do you remember that time when we were 15? Behind the bush?

Julian: We were so bad.

Damian: Me having a girlfriend didn't stop us that time, and I'm tired of being good.

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[novantinuum]

mmmmmmm. messy ass ramble thoughts ahead. this is not coherent, it is 1am, you have been warned.

so i've been thinking about that "i can fix anything! i can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it!" line during steven's lil manic panic moment in the ep everything's fine in the context of like... og SU episodes

this whole lil manic slip is one that's like... it seems a little extreme for him as a character at first, when one looks at the situation on surface.

but i think it really does shed a LOT of light onto one of his deepest fear. the same fear he's harbored for a good damn deal of the show.

"i didn't wanna hurt anyone!"

this moment comes just a few eps after the S3 finale 'reveal' of rose shattering pink diamond. in that final scene of the season, steven gets 'confirmation' from garnet that this happened, and seems to accept it for what it was- a difficult decision made amidst a treacherous war.

but also, he Doesn't.

because he's the legacy rose left behind. because each and every day he's growing more into his power. because now, with this reveal of rose's decision to shatter on the table, he's putting each and every decision he makes under a microscope.

he had no choice, he claims. she wouldn't let him help her.

he had no choice. it was self defense.

but is that true?

isn't that the same thing his mom probably told herself before ending a gem's life forever?

even though she poofed bismuth and holed her away for suggesting the very same idea??

rose became a hypocrite... so what if HE becomes the hypocrite, too?

see, with steven... i think it's really easy in the main show to sorta... observe all his actions on the mere surface without considering the deeper tickings of his psyche. like... take lars being brought back to life. from audience POV, that's a good deed. steven just saved someone with his magic! positive moment.

but genuinely... i think this was one of the worst moments of his entire life. i think he's still haunted by it- by the fact that he can just "fix" people in that way. and i think fixing jasper's shattered gem only made the specter of that day worse.

steven believes his role is to be the Shield.

the protector.

the one who is willing to do whatever it takes- even up to turning himself in for a crime he didn't commit- to protect his family and his friends.

and like, we all know that it's not steven's FAULT that lars died. BUT- he still died while under steven's protection.

and so the same way steven blames himself for "hurting" bismuth, jasper, and eyeball, he blames himself for killing lars. mentally, he Takes Responsibility for his death. yet another tick mark in the box of horrible "mistakes" he's made, yet another tick mark landing him just a little closer to the rose he's desperately trying not to become.

and worst of all... it's a mistake he "covers up."

because his tears are able to bring him back from the dead entirely.

and years later he realizes this is true for gems as well ;-;;;

so yeah, i absolutely think lars' death was also at the back of his mind when he said that line at the beginning

what steven saw in the depths of his mind as he was panicking there was him slipping down a slippery slope of violence that he couldn't escape from

first, causing harm to other gems and calling it self defense...

then, letting your friend die protecting YOU when you're the one who should be protecting him and facing NO consequence for this misgiving because you bring him back to life

then, expressing anger so visceral it can shatter floors, destroy whole rooms, flip vans. out of control. inexcusable.

then... outright shattering a gem in a duel while training to hone that anger. once again, facing NO consequence because you bring her right back.

then, that sudden, terrifying thought of "what if i shattered white diamond"

like, steven has absolutely no framework by which to separate his actions from genuine desire or just plain abstract thought.

he has no framework by which to understand the beautiful tool of adding a "man would it be fucked up or what-" to the beginning of those sorts of intimidating, dark musings.

he has no framework by which to understand the complexities of his trauma, and the way in which genuinely fighting back against someone he once called an enemy might feel empowering- instead, it would seem he's disgusted in retrospect with how deep he pressed into that fight, how much a part of him ENJOYED it, all because of the horrid destination it led to.

anyways at this point steven thinks he has now become the Hypocrite like his mom, and that he's just destined to hurt everyone around him forever but never be punished for it and Ouch

this post has no end, these were just ramble thoughts, the end. goodnight. i am sleepy and need to prepare to make Wig tomorrow bc OH boy i am con crunch.

yeehaw .

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi. I have a pretty specific request for Kaz x reader. Basically, the reader was a part of the dregs for some time, well acquainted with Kaz, Nina and Inej (and Jesper, though I don't remember when he dropped studies and joined, but like yeah). After some time (2 years?) the reader is sent off to a job that causes them not to run into the main group a lot. For half a year they almost disappear (maybe swindling people in the harbor or watching some other Dregs’ territory). When they return all is good, new scars were definitely made and all, but that's a part of the job. They did mess up their leg though, having the knee crushed by a heavy object. They didn't get to heal it and after half a year its pretty hard to really fix. Unfortunately, they were known for their dancing and athletics as well as hand to hand combat before. That was why thy were seen as a valuable asset in the first place. And in the Dregs it’s not uncommon to overlook or hide injuries. So, though it's clear that something is wrong, they downplay it, afraid of being seen as weak or useless. But they struggle on the daily. I mean, from experience, that kind of an unhealed injury is hard to manage - they don't know how to sleep without pain flaring up bc the usual positions just don't work anymore, they have to relearn walking the stairs in a painless manner, whether changes are number one enemy, riding in anything is a nightmare bc the roads are bumpy, sitting apparently can cause pain too not to even mention walking. And all the fighting and acrobatics aren't as effective. They try to make others forget, trying to dance with Nina and Jes and sparring with Inej as if nothing happened. They want their life and self worth back

Before, they were known for keeping Kaz at a distance, which doesn't change at first. They still bicker, the reader is still distrustful. But I think he would be helpful. Not out of kindness, especially at first, but out of convenience. He can’t have them messing things up and so it starts small with offhand tips. Just enough not to have them get killed. Later, perhaps, they start talking more and the reader isn't sure if Kaz is still just the ruthless asshole they have to work with

To be fair, I don't have much plot. I just have my love for bittersweet stories and my messed up leg to provide inspiration. Also, don't care what you do with the gender, I used they/them to make in neutral but I don't really care. I know this request is long. No pressure if you don't like this scenario

-☆

My apologies for this taking so long. I was just scared that I wasn’t gonna do this justice. I hope it’s at least somewhat close. 🥺😫

Broken dreams

Playing a part was always hard. Fitting different masks. Making sure they didn’t slip. Always a smile. Always a careless, wild girl. But she just died last year. She was beaten. Broken to bits. Tossed aside. Left to die in that ally. To rot. Forgotten. Would anyone have come looking for you? Would have missed you? Grieved you? They killed the innocent girl that day. Left a broken shell of a woman in her way.

“Come on one more”, Nina pulled at your hand breathlessly. You quickly shoot her a smile, pushing the demons running in your mind aside. “We just sat down”, you chuckled while in reality, the idea of being up on your feet was making you want to turn to the side and vomit. “Oh, come on, we used to dance all night long, remember?”, she tossed her head back, downing her drink. “Jasper always steps on my toes, I need you to save me from that”, she cackled. Your eyes followed Jasper who was turning Wylan around. How much has everything changed in the time you were gone? It felt as if you no longer belonged. As if this version of you didn’t belong here anymore. “Are you feeling okay?”, Nina’s worried eyes watched you and you instantly nudged her, “Morning my freedom now that you’ve pretty much left your boyfriend for me”, you teased her. Happy to see her laugh. Off the hook then. “Lead the way”, you urged her. You could dance. Then down half the bottle of painkillers. Snatch one of the absolute bottles from Kaz’s drawer. It would work. You just had to pretend for a bit longer.

The pain was unbearable once you finally excused yourself. Sobbing the whole way back to the den. The agony felt like tongues of flames. No longer just in your legs. All over your body now. You slumped against the door. Letting yourself breathe. Trying to breathe. Only twenty sets of steps. It used to be only. Now it felt like twenty too many. Ot aggravated you. You wanted your body back. Wanted your freedom back. Wanted to be able to do things that others did. You just wanted it all to stop.

“Back early”, the voice makes you halt. Eyes growing big, you wipe your face before turning around, “Been a while since I drank so freely, Nina is also too persuasive”, you shoot a somewhat dazed smile at Kaz, who’s leaning against the the hallway arch. “You used to dance till early morning sun”, his words meet the target in a blind shot. Making your eyes sting once more. “You used to be more quiet. Don’t want to crawl back to your hole?”, it’s bitter. So bitter because he had learned to live with his pain. You were jealous of that. You had hoped that by watching him you would learn some tricks. How to navigate things that were easy once but brought you pain now. You learned to walk down the stairs because of him. Of watching him.

“You’ve changed”, Kaz’s eyes don’t leave you as he speaks. “Rich coming from you”, you let out a chuckle, locking the outside door. “You’re defensive”, he continues to push, “You were never defensive with me. We argued. You tested my patience but you never bit me”, you hear the sound of his cane, then the smooth steps. “Why are you biting me now, YN?”, Kaz asks. “Don’t make everything about yourself, Kaz”, you turned around swiftly, feeling your legs dip slightly beneath your weight. But you bite back the cry of pain, stepping forward. Hoping to escape him. But Kaz’s cane comes in front of you blocking your way.

“You don’t get to walk away”, he grunts, turning his head to you. “I’ll ask this once”, his voice low, lethal, “So take your time to think”. You can feel him. Feel his eyes when he asks, “Who hurt you?”. The anger takes flight within you. Sending traitorous tears falling down your cheeks, “If I have an idea they would be six feet under”. He had played his part. Made you open the throbbing wound up for him to see. “They captured me. Broke my knees. I couldn’t…”, the words tumble freely, as you hide your face in your palms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”, his tone is blank, emotionless.

“What was I supposed to say?”, you crock out in frustration, “I was worthless then. I was of no use”. Kaz clenches his jaw, “So you hide the truth from me?”. You can’t help but growl in frustration, “I did the job you gave me. I got you what you wanted, what else do you want from me for fuck sake”.

And it’s a matter of heartbeats as your back hits the wall, Kaz’s cane now pressed against your chest, “I don’t give a fuck about the job”, he spats, veins visible in his tense neck now. “We could have gotten you a good doctor, could have…”, he grunts, “Did anyone look at the injury at all?”. You look at him for a moment. You could lie but what’s the point? “Some passing by a doctor”, you admit, “Fixed what he was able to, wished me luck, and left”.

Kaz shakes his head as he steps back, “How bad is the pain?”, “You want to bask in it?”, you clip right at him. “I should throw you out. Make you pay for ruining your own body so carelessly”, he hisses, “Legally you are mine. I own you. So your legs are mine to worry about”. You scoff, “How sweet of you, my gods”. Kaz’s gloved hand catches your jaw, the touch starts you both it seems. “I’m mad at you because you should have spoken up. I would have helped you. Would have dropped everything and made my way to you”, Kaz snarls through gritted teeth, “You’re starting physical therapy from tomorrow. That’s an order”, he steps back, pulls at his west. You blink up at him, knowing that you should say something. Anything. He would have come to you. But was it true? “If you ever pull anything like this ever again…”, Kaz doesn’t finish but you know well what his words imply, “I’ll see you in the morning at my office. Think well about the features of people who attacked”.

[panlight]

The first Twilight book ending with so much genuinely intriguing information about Alice that is immediately ignored is so crazy to me that it’s honestly funny.

The other vampires don’t necessarily remember their human lives well compared to their vampire ones but they do clearly have a lot of memories that inform who they are as people. And then we find out that Alice remembers almost nothing about being human and is the only vampire we meet who basically had her entire personality be created from only her vampire life. And the idea of who someone would be if they had only ever been a super powered future seeing non human is interesting, and it would have been especially interesting to see how it makes her act different from the others and perceive the world differently because she wouldn’t in any way identify with humanity or being human and any human experiences.

And then she just is exactly like everyone else and no it didn’t actually affect a single thing about her personality. And the fact that as both a human and vampire she has never experienced time in a linear fashion is way less impactful on her character than one would think beyond that she used future sight as a helpful tool.

Smeyer is so wild for creating genuinely really cool character and world building ideas and then immediately ignoring them and not considering that they would in any way correlate to how that character acts

Oh for sure! There are so many fascinating little character details that just . . . don't . . . go . . . anywhere. Really Alice waking up as a vampire with no memory of anything else is SO interesting and could be such a contrast to the others, but it's only sort of hinted at and doesn't end up really mattering at all. There's Edward's line about how if she hadn't had her ability to see the future and saw Jasper and Carlisle and where her life would end up, she'd probably have turned out to be a feral monster or something and how no one could understand how she could be abandoned like that. SM pays lips service to the idea that Alice doesn't remember being human but she mostly uses that to like, push her into being obsessed with human rites of passage for Bella that she can sort of live vicariously through rather than a deeper, more meaningful exploration of what it would be like to be in Alice's shoes.

Genuinely, I'm fascinated by every single one of the Cullens' stories as newborns except Bella's, because it's just the most boring one. She doesn't give up or lose anything, she doesn't wake up to a world she didn't know existed. She's about as well-informed as a human could be and she wants to be a vampire and is instantly good at it so it's all just so . . . blah. Alice waking up with no memory and superpowers and insatiable thirst is about 1000 times more interesting. Just imagine how disorientating and confusing and frightening that would be! Carlisle lived out his own horror movie as a newborn, being bitten on a vampire hunting raid gone wrong, hiding during his transformation out of fear his father would burn him alive, realizing what he had become and trying to destroy himself before he hurt anyone ending with him starving himself in the woods for months. Jasper, too, had a whole horror movie where he was the nightmarish monster, to humans as well as other vampires. And the other Cullens died and 'woke' up to a new life they had no idea about and had to lean on strangers they either barely knew or didn't know at all. That's the interesting stuff. That's what I like about vampire stories. But these experiences barely matter to how they act in the present day. Jasper's poor self control matters in some scenes and doesn't matter at all in others. Rosalie's baby obsession is a big feature of Breaking Dawn, but Esme, who actually had and lost a baby, might as well be wallpaper in that book. Edward's going on about how could he ever love this thing if it kills Bella, meanwhile Carlisle's mother literally DID die giving birth to him and it never enters the conversation.

And for SM, Alice's whole "doesn't remember being human" ends up being focused entirely on like, shopping and parties and clothes, so she can live vicariously through Bella. And on one hand there's something interesting in there, something pathetic (in the pathos sense) with Alice trying to understand humanity in this sort of superficial way because she doesn't have the experience or memories to go any deeper, but it's mostly portrayed as just wheee isn't Alice fun! I wish I had a sister/best friend like Alice! It's just blatantly obvious that it's less about who Alice is than what she can do for Bella.

Even in New Moon where we find out that Alice has been researching her own history, found her own grave and asylum admission papers, and it goes nowhere! It doesn't change how Alice behaves at all, it doesn't change her relationship with Bella, Bella just kind of goes "huh interesting" and we never hear about it again. I mean Alice goes through it in these books and you wouldn't even know! She finds out that James had hunted her when she was human and this other vampire turned her to save her and died defending her. She finds out she was put in an asylum by her father and he told everyone she was dead. And even though she's the 4th most prominent character after Bella, Edward and Jacob, there's still no room in the Bella-centric narrative for Alice to have the space to actually deal with any of this. She's too busy fulfilling her role as Bella's fairy godmother sister.