#jaren GODDAMN

[goodgrammaritan]

Never Have I Ever Season 4

SPOILERS

Season 4 was lazy. It ended in almost exactly the same place as season 3.

Paxton? At college and a bit more motivated.

Aneesa? Forgotten and shoved to the side

Kamala? Happy romantically and career-wise.

Eleanor? Acting and in love with Trent.

Fabiola? Killing it at robotics and happy with Addison.

Devi and Nalini? Understanding of one another.

Devi and Ben? Top two academically, and finally together.

Instead of manufacturing drama and awkwardness and miscommunication, I would have much rather seen:

Devi and Ben stumbling through a healthy relationship, finding what works, what they want goal-wise and sex-wise. I mean, "Or perhaps, we could be side-to-side to be more egalitarian?" That was such a good line. How much better would it have been if she'd said it to Ben? And then he worries he's not empowering her if he's on top or whatever. Or they find out they like to insult each other during, or they like role-play.

And how about Nalini and Devi talk about serious relationships, and sex, and how Nalini wants Devi to be safe, and how she thinks Devi's not mature enough for sex, or something. Not the same "you were irresponsible and I'm judging you" and "you don't believe in me" kind of stuff. After season 3 when Nalini stood up for Devi when she threw coffee in Des's face and said how Devi was more mature and stronger than Des and his mom...it was just disappointing.

How about having Ben bond with Nalini, Nirmala and Kamala? Nirmala immediately likes him because he studies up on Indian culture and is smart, and if they *have* to keep the "is Len cheating?" storyline, have Kamala and Ben team up investigating? Those would have been good hijinks. And Nalini and Ben already have a foundation.

And Kamala. She had nothing to do. Barely a career, and Manish was in literally 30 seconds of the entire season.

And Paxton coming back as a teacher...just dumb. I liked him not being popular at college and struggling, but the season would have been fine without him. All he did plot-wise was tell Devi to be happy for Fabiola, but that role/conversation could've easily been given to Kamala or Eleanor or even Ben, though Ben's initial reaction would've been outrage on Devi's behalf, but he'd come around. I mean, he and Fabiola had a good bonding moment at that party in season 3.

Just...it was lazy

It still made me laugh, and it made me cry a couple times, but the emotional arcs were rushed and repetitive. The cast was killing it despite the weaker material and it's because of them that I was engaged emotionally, not because of the writing.

[i-n3ver-hated-you]

My opinion on Jaren in The Blood Traitor:

Spoilers.

Frankly, Kiva is having a goddamn awful time in the last book.

First of all, she is hooked on angle dust and back in a place she'd thought she'd finally escaped. Not so good. But Cresta is helping her through it. (I love Cresta.)

Then she's kidnapped by Navok, who basically makes her his slave. She's rescued (yay!) everyone hates her (nay!).

When they're in the market and they're trying to get information about the rings out of that seer lady (I don't remember her name, sorry), she gives Kiva two options: kiss Jaren (the person who she is under the impression hates her) or take some angle dust (which she had previously been addicted to, and only recently recovered from). That is such an awful thing to do. The fact that Kiva chooses the angles dust over Jaren shows how much she's doing for him. He hates her. She doesn't choose that option because of that.

Later, she says, half delirious, "I’m in love with him, can you believe it?". I'm not really sure how to put what I'm thinking into words, but you can see what she did for him, right?

And then he kissed her when she was under the influence, half-unconscious and falling asleep?! What the fuck, Jaren. You need the tea talk.

Anyway, after Jaren nearly dies falling off that cliff, Kiva is crying a bit (understandable), but he kind of makes fun of her for it—at least, that's the was I saw it.

Then,

Jaren: You’ve been avoiding me. I have no idea how you feel. So I asked.

Kiva: I’ve been avoiding you because it’s what you want.

Jaren: I’ve been trying to talk to you for days, you know that. It’s been incredibly frustrating. You’ve been avoiding me because you’re afraid.

Kiva: I’m not afraid.

Jaren: You are. You’ve barely been able to look at me for weeks.

Kiva: You’re the one who wouldn’t look at me! You told me you wanted nothing to do with me — so I gave you that!

Jaren: I lied.

He says "I lied" like Kiva should have known that, should have seen through him and talked to him or whatever. It's like he expects, after a whole book of hating—or at least seeming to hate—her, that she accept that he was lying. That it was all fake. I think that's unfair. He's assuming that Kiva is avoiding him because she's "afraid", and completely ignoring his own actions. If I was Kiva, I would also be avoiding him because, know know, he's acting like he hates me.

By saying Kiva is afraid, it's a little bit like pinning all the angst on her. Which, yes, to be fair she did technically steal his powers, but their angsting is on both of them.

I think Jaren has a good reason for hating her. I would to if she'd stolen my magical powers. The thing that makes me hate him, however, and not her, is the fact that after spending the whole book ignoring her, being rude, and implying that he hates her and never wants to have anything to do with her ever again, he says "I could never hate you, Kiva." It seems, to me, a bit like he's gaslighting her.

He proceeds to tell her all the ways it isn't her fault. A good thing, but it goes against everything he's said and acted for the whole book.

I get that they obviously need to make up and stuff, but I think it could have been done better. In enemies(ish) to lovers, it tends to work better (for me) if they do hate each other and don't deny it. It's more like "I hated you before, but I don't anymore" instead of "I've pretended to hate you, but I actually don't".

Because Jaren does have a real reason to hate her. He could have just said like "I'm sorry for being an ass, but I promise I see you are now. And it's not your fault." I think that would make more sense.

Anyway, this is, once again, just my opinion. I'm not trying to be particularly hateful and if you loved this book, good for you.

I hope this made sense, thank you for coming to my TED talk, bonne journee :)

[michelristenpattsworld]

Hope nope

But staying alive is enough worth living for

My life as a musician

In de jaren ‘90 was ‘t:

Muziek maken en een hoop leuke dingen doen..Maar:

Waarom slaat het nou niet aan? Veel spelen en vooral: blijven hopen, doorzetten en niet zeiken.

——////——///

2000-2015:

Hoopte ik alleen nog maar dat ik met muziek maken zonder uitkering zou kunnen rondkomen. En wie weet..een beetje spelen met eigen muziek en goede muzikanten. Dat lukte gedeeltelijk..Maar wel met elke keer de angst je huis uitgezet te worden. En ten koste van elke denkbare vriendschap.

—-///—-///—

2023

Ik hoop alleen nog maar dat ik in leven blijf.

Such a beautiful decline..

—-///—-///——-///—-///——-///—-///—

And I, I've been lonely

And I, I've been blind

And I, I've learned nothing

So my hands are firmly tied

To the sinking lead weight of failure

I've worked hard all my life

Money slips through my hands

My face in the mirror tells me

It's no surprise that I am

Pushing the stone up the hill of failure

And they tempt me with violence

And they punish me with ideals

And they crush me with an image of my life

That's nothing but unreal

Except on the goddamned slave ship of failure

And I'll drown here trying

To get up for some air

But each time I think I breathe

I'm laid on with a double share

Of the punishing burden of failure

I don't deserve to be down here

But I'll never leave

And I, I've learned one thing

You can't escape the beast

In the null and void pit of failure

Hmm-hmm-hmm

When I get my hands on some money

I'll kiss its green skin

And I'll ask its dirty face

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm the fuel that fires the engines of failure"

And I'll be old and broken down

And I'll forget who and where I am

I'll be senile, or forgotten

But I'll remember and understand

You can bank your hard-earned money on failure

I saw my father crying

I saw my mother break her hand

On a wall that wouldn't weep

But that certainly held in

The mechanical moans of a dying man who was a failure

My back hurts me when I bend

'Cause I carry a load

And my brain hurts like a knife-hole

'Cause I've yet to be shown

How to pull myself out from the sucking quicksand of failure

Hmm-hmm-hmm

Some people lie in Hell

Many bastards succeed

But I, I've learned nothing

I can't even elegantly bleed

Out the poison blood of failure

[lovelydrusilla]

i expected ‘never have i ever’ to just be a fun ride with some drama (which it was, holy shit), but i didn’t expect it to HIT ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS, THANKS FOR MAKING ME CRY ONCE AGAIN MINDY

[jasper-the-menace]

I made some aesthetic boards for Jaren and Ritter to test out my editing skills in Canva.

Jaren:

Ritter:

Ritter has so much shit going on (cavalryman in the Boros Legion, moonlighting as a pole dancer in the Rakdos Cult, his skill with a spear, his magic surrounding riding things...) and then Jaren is just that dude that goes "I like trains" except it's "I like rocks". Jaren is simple overall, his turmoil surrounding trying to find a place that feels like home. Ritter is a goddamn mess who buries everything and manages to keep up a facade of control over his life.

[ryoki-neko]

What is your favourite Ben scene in NHIE? What Ben scene makes you laugh most? What is your favourite thing about Ben? What is your favourite aspect of Jaren's acting? 💙💜💙

My favorite Ben scene? That is tough. I have Ben a Ben fan since day one when he turned around with that disgusted look on his face after Devi told Jonah he smelled good. So, just about any scene with Ben in it, unless it’s with Aneesa, is a favorite. Of course the S1 and S3 Finales are up there. Just some of the really small funny moments like how he looks when Devi asks to move in with him and when he is griping to Mr. Shapiro about MUN. “What do you mean Eric’s sick? He’s supposed to be goddamn Equatorial Guinea! I need every loser I can get to make me look smarter by comparison!” 🤣🤣. Love his whole interaction with Fab at the party and when he blurts out that Devi broke his heart. The crazed potato famine face, the scene with Howard, the pear scene and of course when he tells Devi he’ll miss her, a lot. When he is in Nalani’s office. Basically all of 1x06

What Ben scene makes me laugh the most? Probably a tie between the scene where Devi shows him breaking into Mandarin at dinner and when he says he’ll get her to Malibu them drives like an old lady looking both ways at the stop lol. His face! 🤣🤣

My favorite thing about Ben is how dedicated he is to whatever he is doing or looking to accomplish. Whether it is school work or being”all in” with Devi (and trying with Aneesa). Samberg said he is a resilient kid and he has been so far, he has a big heart even if he doesn’t always show it.

My favorite aspect of Jaren’s acting is his superb ability to tell so much of his character’s story between the action and the dialogue he is given using expressions and body language, subtle character traits that he has developed. He does it so well that you feel like you know that character and what is going on with him and you want to seek that out bc it feels genuine.

[duckylikesducks-blog]

GBG CIRCUS AU IDEA

hullooo ducklings!!!

im thinking of creating a circus au for gbg! I’ve got two roles already down. as you could see in my recent writing So, I’m thinking of more!

these are the roles im thinking for everyone. if you have any suggestions and I missed some, please tell me! thank u :)) bear with me this’ll be long as fuck

Role - Stage name/Real name

Ring Master -  Fitz/Cameron 

Fitz or Cameron as they call him is the leader and the Ring Master of the show. He’s soft, but strict. He expects everyone to be on time, and gets very upset when they’re at least 5 minutes late. Though, he recognizes when his friends are overworked, and sometimes give them more longer breaks than necessary. He cares for his friends, and would take them out after a really good show.

Animal Tamer - Swagger/Eric

Eric or Swagger is a amazing Animal Tamer. Some call him, “The Masked Tamer”. He knows what the animals are thinking simply by body movements. He knows the right tricks to use, and the right words to say. The crowd always goes wild for his acts. Eric is a soothing guy, and Cam noticed that once he first god hired. He bonded with the animals almost instantly. Once you get to know him, though, he’s a huge soft and gets embarrassed easily. Even at a mere compliment. He looks up to his boss, and would like to get closer to him. 

Trapeze Artists - Mermaid/Bordie, and Princess/Toby

Bordie swings from the swings above. Giving off a captivating performance with her stage partner, Toby. She performs astonishing tricks even some professionals cannot do. Of course, only with the help of Toby. Bordie is a bouncy gal. She loves taking a part in activities and setting up the stage. She gets along with everyone. At least she tries. She hangs out with Toby and John after work, and accompanies them when she can.

Toby is unlike the others. His stage name is Princess. His sassy behavior and rebellious attitude goes along with it. The fact that he also wears a female uniform instead of the male could also give some points to it. After work Toby hangs out with John, and Bordie. They go drinking most times, but also go to nice restaurants. Toby wouldn’t admit it, but he has a slight crush on the magician.

Tightrope walker - Notorious/Matt

Matt is the best at balancing. He can balance anything, some could say he’s notorious at it. hehe  Matt could be holding about 50 books and he could still balance on that rope. He was very good at his job, and the audience was in awe by that. Matt is a shy guy. He mumbles a lot, and just listens to conversation instead of talking. He’s funny, and very good with creating advertisements for the Circus. 

Acrobat - Zuckles/Mason

Mason does tricks. Not normal tricks. Tricks that might fuckin kill you. He succeeds surprisingly. Everyone doesn’t understand how he does it, but they still love it otherwise. Now, outside of his job Mason is a goddamn crackhead. He’s always doing stupid shit and almost dying. Some friends wonder how he even does those tricks. Though, they understand under all that stupidity, the man is good at his job. They applaud him for it at times. At other times they just tease him for it.

Intervention Musician - Creamy/Jay

Jay gets called Creamy from how smooth his voice is. He sings the softest songs at intervention, and sometimes the biggest fucking bops to ever bop in the history of bop. He gives the audience a calm intervention as they transition into the second act of the show. Jay is an all around sweetie and loves everyone. He’s great with children, and has a great sense of humor. Jay adores his friends and everything they do. He supports them on everything and won’t not support them.

Magician - Kryoz/John

John isn’t any ordinary rabbit out of the hat magician. No. He is the type to put himself in a straight jacket and throw himself into a pool of water. Only to break free and end up on as a worker or something. He was one of the most popular acts to say the least. He loved his job, and the audience loved him. He hangs out with friends after work, and has his assistant help him with new tricks. 

Magicians assistant - Smii7y/Jaren

Jaren is always on stage with John. He helps with acts before hands and is there to fix things if they go wrong. Which in the end, always work out. Jaren and John have been friends since they were children, so this was their dream job. They still hangout. A lot actually, Jaren is just focused on getting John with someone. He seems so lonely he just wants to help. 

That is all! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Ask me if you have ideas for it! Thanks!!!

[toniesthoughts]

i hope you need me too

this is a sequel to the AO3 work ‘i need you’ by sinah. read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16732104

read this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765810

this work deals very heavily with discussion of suicide and suicide attempts. please do not read if it will be damaging to you in any way!

Smitty hugs him like he’s the one dying. Like the mountain of emotion he’s been sitting on, trying to rein in, can be conveyed to John if he can just hold tight enough. So he does. He locks his arms tight around John’s neck, tucks his chin over his shoulder.

As much as Smitty has been trying to school his emotions, it’s here that he breaks, just for a minute. His face crumples, eyes squeezed shut as he buries his face into the crook of John’s neck. There’s nothing to tell him about the tears that leak into his pale hair.

John is shaking, just the slightest bit. Smitty probably is, too. He’s so goddamn relieved that John showed up — dizzy from the heavy almost-necessary desperation of what he would have to do if he hadn’t.

“I’m sorry,” John says. Smitty can feel the words hanging in the air, weighty in the busy airport. John tips his head back, speaks to the ceiling like he’s trying to swallow tears. He doesn’t want to let go of John. To Smitty, he feels insubstantial, like he might float away if someone doesn’t keep eyes on him. “This is stupid,” John mutters. He’s looking away from Smitty.

Jaren wonders if he’s overreacting, flying over a better part of the country to keep an eye on John.

Mentally, he replays the sound of the pill bottle hitting the ground.

“It’s okay,” he says, and he’s trying to push everything he wants to say into those two words. He still has both hands fisted in the back of John’s jacket. “It’s not stupid. You needed help, and I’m here to do what I can.” He pulls back just enough, fingers skating down John’s arm. He doesn’t want to let go of him entirely, and from the way John is staring determinedly at the floor, he feels the pause. Smitty squeezes his bicep lightly, offering up a weak smile when their eyes meet. “Come on. let’s go home.”

The car ride back to John’s is quiet, and Smitty breaks the silence only to explain that he would like to go with John to the hospital the next day. “They’re professionals, John. I love you, brother, and I’m here to help you, but I don’t know it all. You need real help.”

John nods along slowly, but through the flashing of the streetlamps in the dark, Smitty can still see reluctance in his agreement. He pats John’s hand on the gearshift, resting his palm gently on top of his fingers. “C’mon, we’ve still got a night of beer and Fortnite before that, yeah?” It feels to Smitty like John’s life is hanging in the balance, dependent on every word that he says. The ocean of anxiety threatening to swallow him is worth it just to see that little twitch of John’s lips.

Smitty is jumpy all the way until they are curled up on the sofa, plied with Chinese food and just enough alcohol, watching the TV as lazy as they can be without actually being asleep. It’s creeping close to 5 AM and John is leaning close to him – Smitty feels like he lets out of breath he didn’t know he was holding, like he hasn’t been able to enjoy himself because every moment has been part of Operation Keep Kryoz Alive.

But this moment, sitting with his shoulder pressed to John’s while the sun crawls up the horizon, this moment he can lean into, let his hands stop shaking.

It’s not too much longer before he rouses John, smiles gently at the man’s drooping eyelids. Smitty herds him towards the master bedroom, pauses in the doorway to make sure he actually makes it to bed before he falls asleep. He faltered a moment longer.

John tenses up as he puts together Smitty’s hesitation. It hasn’t been a dilemma yet, since they’ve been together all night. “All the pills are in the guest bathroom,” John mutters. “My razor, too.”

“Okay,” Smitty says softly. He would trust John with his life, but right now, not knowing where John’s head is at, he doesn’t trust John with his own. “Get changed, man. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He changes slowly, pulling pyjamas haphazardly out of his suitcase, and wanders back into John’s room with his toothbrush and toothpaste. John is lying on one side of the large bed, phone held above his head as he scrolls lazily through it. He hums when he notices Smitty standing in his bathroom, blinks at him before turning back to his screen.

When Smitty crawls into the bed with him, he drops the phone on the nightstand and flicks the light off, rolling to face the wall. Smitty tucks himself under the covers and watches the slope of John’s back rise and fall as he breathes.

Halfway asleep, John rolls over to face Smitty, shuffles close until their knees knock together under the blanket. Smitty watches him nuzzle into the pillow, a strand of pale hair falling over his eyes, and tucks an arm around his friend’s waist, pulls him an inch closer. He takes one more breath and lets himself fall asleep.

When Smitty manages to blink awake, John is tucked up behind him, breath landing heavy on the back of his neck. One hand is propped on Smitty’s waist, scrolling aimlessly through Twitter, and the other is curled under his head. Drowsy with sleep and trying to blink off the sunlight pouring into the room, Smitty rolls over halfway, nudges John’s chest with his chin. “Morning, little spoon,” John murmurs, voice thick with sleep.

Smitty hums, tucks his head under John’s chin. “Hospital day,” he reminds John lowly. “Nervous?” He’s close enough that he feels more than hears the resulting sigh.

“Just don’t know what to expect, ’s all,” John admits. He’s still looking blankly at his phone, thumb frozen over a black screen.

Pushing himself up to an elbow, Smitty manages to catch his eye. He's blindsided by the urge to hug John tingling in his fingertips. it’s a simple statement, the diction almost childish; Smitty is caught is a harsh contrast of hating that John has ever had to feel this vulnerable and appreciating that he has trusted Smitty with his raw edges. it takes him a second to piece together a response, still bleary from sleep and trying to say things {right}. Delicate, but not condescending; encouraging, but truthful; informative, but acknowledging every right to be nervous. He tries to pluck out the simplest parts first.

“It’s just a doctor’s visit,” he says. “Just gotta tell them what’s been going on with you.”

John barks out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s the part I’m nervous about.”

Smitty drops back down off his elbow, burrows back under John’s chin. He watches the pulse flutter under John’s skin, the pale expanse disappearing under the collar of a thick hoodie. “I did some research on the plane,” he starts, trying to shake off all the words he feels he has to choose. “From what I can tell, they’ll start with just an evaluation, just questions, and choose the next steps based off that. The ER’s pretty short term, obviously — for, uh, emergencies — but they’re the ones who’ll help you decide whether you should be hospitalised or referred to a therapist or what.”

He feels John’s hand, which had been resting on his waist, bunch in the hem of his t-shirt. “I didn’t realise hospitalisation is an option,” he sys quietly. Smitty feels the words ruffle his hair gently, chin resting on the crown of his head. John pulls his hand away, as though he had caught himself, and it drops over his eyes. His fingers are trembling, and he rolls onto his back, dislodging Smitty from his side. He watches John’s throat catch on a hard swallow.

The urge to {care} hits Smitty like a truck. He can almost taste John’s developing fear, and he’s watching the man literally pull away from him. “Hey,” he says softly, fingertips reaching out to brush the crook of John’s elbow. “You did the hardest part already. I’m here with you now, man, we’re gonna deal with everything that gets thrown your way today.”

John wipes his hand down his face. He doesn’t respond, but the anticipation building in his eyes seems to have melted away, at least the slightest bit.

“First things first. Do you wanna head to A & E in pyjamas or put real clothes on?” He’s only halfway joking, but it coaxes a halfway smile out of John, so he thinks he’ll keep doing it.

For the time being, though, he just smiles warmly back at John, wrapped warmly in his bed. It won’t be a quick fix — he knows that. But he’s planning to stick around regardless.

[misfits-legacies]

I’m Jaren. I’m a Canadian werewolf. John and I came to the Lyons school when it became too much for the two of us to handle our powers on our own. John’s magic was draining every time he had to keep my wolf form from murdering the goddamn town.

I can’t even remember how I triggered my curse. I just know it happened and I’m stuck like this for the rest of my life. I hate it, but that’s how it goes, right?

The only other werewolf I’m really friends with in the pack is Ezra. He’s pretty chill. The others mostly keep to themselves and their friends and I mostly keep to myself. It’s best that wa- AGH! Fuck! It’s a full moon! I’m gonna transition. Where is John?

[butterfly-on-my-love]

Stop. Ignoring. Matt.

He does shit so yall have content to watch! He edits the podcast and other videos! His own channel is dead because of his effort for the group! Don’t fucking disrespect him by forgetting about him!! He’s one of the most important members and I’m so fucking sick of it. He doesn’t have to be your favorite, but stop pretending he doesn’t exist. He does. And I’m so goddamn thankful that he does. He deserves at LEAST a slot in your oneshot/preference books and art and edits. AT LEAST that much. Like fuck sakes you guys.

This applies to Jay and Toby too!! The GBG isn’t just Mason, Cam, and Swagger!! It aso is NOT Jaren, John, Racc, or Grizzy! I love them too but I refuse to let yall keep putting them above Matt, Jay, and Toby. I don’t want to be a bitch but I will not keep quiet anymore. He deserves something as small as being included your little fics and art and shit.

[sedimentarydearwatson]

Taking a brief break from staring at one screen to stare at a different screen and log the first screen-staring experiences. We’ve made it to Io!

The plot is...solid. It’s nothing revolutionary (as yet), and Destiny 2 is hamstrung a little by the simple fact that this is no longer a new world with fresh curiosities at every turn, but it’s working hard to string some new things in there among the old and I’m having fun. I also had an interesting chat with my brother, who has been enjoying this game but admitted he never finished Destiny 1...because he was bored by it. For him, it was nothing more than a string of Go Here And Kill This without any real reasoning provided.

“But this,” he told me enthusiastically, “this makes sense. They took your home! You’re fighting to get it back!” - and I guess that’s exactly I meant by it being clumsy but effective. It’s an easy emotive hook. It works.

The whole “you and you alone have been somehow chosen by the Traveler a second time and are the only one to have regained your Light” is rubbing against me a little weirdly, though. I kind of ignored the first game trying to act like I was single-handledly wrecking every big bad, but now it’s a regularly referenced part of the main plot and I keep looking around me like, okay, then who are the rest of these Guardians I see zooming around the same areas? Gameplay and story segregation only goes so far before it feels kinda janky.

I was a little hesitant about the new ‘patrol’ system at first, but it rapidly grew on me. Most of my squinting was in regards to them all being quite the lengthy commitment now yet still just a string of juiced up fetch quests or location tappers or whatever, but the ample background chatter from the NPCs makes it worthwhile. It’s much more interesting than just running back and forth between the same handful of patrol beacons, that’s for sure.

The NPCs are both my greatest joy and my greatest disappointment. I am unfathomably delighted to actually be out there, in the field, conversing with and sometimes fighting alongside the Vanguard; I know the Guardian being mute doesn’t work for everyone, but I love my Ghost so much I don’t mind letting it hold the floor. The new kids are a great mix too: Hawthorne and Failsafe are predictable favourites, Devrim is intriguing with a City militia background, and Sloane made me do a massive double-take by requesting files on Dredgen Yor, haha. Asher is kind of a huge dick but eh, you can’t win ‘em all I guess.

At the same time, I’m screaming internally for all the lost opportunities. I can understand why Bungie chose to go for a fresh start approach, but I’m just so tired of their trend of pumping and dumping characters like there’s no fucking tomorrow. I’m tired of getting interested in stories that were never intended to go anywhere. So many great hooks and concepts and so little goddamn cussing follow-through. It’s too easy to imagine Shin in Devrim’s place, the Stranger in Failsafe’s (or at least in addition), and Toland in Asher’s and just. Mrrmhmkjh. We Could Have Had It All. At least if the Rasputin and Osiris storylines go somewhere that’ll be...something.

(I was also mildly insulted that the Gunslinger sidequest was devoid of any mention of Shin or Jaren. Like really, those are the cards you chose to quote?)

Still madly loving all these new locations. I don’t know if I can pick a favourite. Maybe Titan and the arcology? I genuinely want a pet dinoalien though, and the EZD is so lush with detail, it’s magnificent. The level designs also seem much improved; more varied and interesting to navigate.

[vergankelijkheden]

Een donderdag in Gent

Het is zondagavond. Donderdagavond ben ik in Gent gaan feesten. De charlatan. Felix, Sarah, Nele, Jerre, Eli. Alle vrienden van M waren er ook en ik was in mijn element.

Ik sta aan de bar. Ik moet even wachten. Naast mij staat een jongen, een kop groter dan ikzelf, met een gestreept hemd. Ik leun naar hem toe en zeg, ze zijn met te weinig. Hij lacht, we lullen wat. Ik vind hem aantrekkelijk. Ik zeg tegen Sarah, hij is fucking lekker. Ik kijk nog wat in zijn richting, hij grijnst. Ik wil hem spreken.

Ik kom van de rokersruimte en loop richting de menigte. Ik kruis hem, we lopen tegen elkaar aan. Hij kijkt naar beneden en grijnst naar mij. Ik leun naar zijn oor en spuw het eruit: Ik heb een vriendje, maar ik vind u fucking lekker. Hij begint te praten en goddamn da Brussels accent. Gholala, da’s ni ideaal. Hij kijkt naar beneden, naar mij, en als hij mijn blik ziet, kijkt hij naar rechts (voor mij links) in de verte, een grijns op zijn gezicht. Ik speel ermee, en ik geniet ervan. Ik kijk weg, ik dans, ik voel zijn ogen op mij. Draai me om, kijk over mijn schouder.

“Godverdomme maat. Jullie tension is echt unreal. De vonken spatten ervan af,” zegt Sarah, en het geeft me extra plezier dat het opvalt. Ik beeld het me niet in.

Ik weet nog dat hij op een bepaald moment zei, “Ik heb hier een appartementje he,” waarop ik antwoordde, nee nee, ik ben ni stout. Hij doet dat ding weer, en wanneer zijn ogen terug op mij landen schiet ik in brand. “Enfin ni stout, ik zie dat aan u.” Hoe, vraag ik. “Ik zie da aan uw ogen gewoon, maat toch...”

Hij is speels in zijn aanraking. Ik voel mij er levend door. Mijn bloes hangt van mijn schouders, ik weet dat hij mij wilt. Het is een streel door mijn haar, alsof hij mijn goede vriend is en mij pestte om mij erna te “Moh ale, was maar een grapje”. Zo’n aanraking was het. Het is een kneepje in mijn zijde, exact waar mijn taille overgaat in mijn heup. Zijn hand beweegt dan nog tot aan mijn rug. Ik voel me klein in zijn hand. Dan laat hij los. De warmte en de elektriciteit van een andere, ongekende, ongeëxploreerde persoon.

Had ik maar meer genoten. Had ik hem maar aangeraakt.

Dat mag niet.

Had ik maar. Had ik het maar beter vastgelegd, gevoeld. Kon ik het maar vasthouden.

Dat mag niet.

Ik voelde me gewild. Sexy. Ik dans nooit, maar onder de blik van deze jongen voelde ik mij een godin. Ik hou mijn hoofd recht, leun het naar achter, sluit mijn ogen, maar ik weet dat hij kijkt. Ik beweeg mijn nek zodat mijn haar van mijn schouders naar achter valt.

“Da moet ge nu ni doen,” hoor ik in mijn oor. “Dan krijg ik het helemaal moeilijk.”

Ik word bevestigd - hij was aan het kijken.

Ik dans met hem, zijn vingertoppen dwalen langs mijn nek en sleutelbeen. Ik voel hem. Dit duurt twee seconden, maar ik moet stoppen. Ik wil niet in gevaar komen - iedereen kent mij hier. Maar wat ik zeg kan niemand horen.

“Mijn seksleven is gewoon ni zo...” hij leunt dichter, hij verstaat mij niet. Onze gezichten draaien wat rond elkaar, wie gaat aan welke kant? “goe. Nu. En ik zie u en ik wil het.”

Hij draait weer terug zodat we elkaar aankijken. Hij praat zo dichtbij dat ik zijn adem ruik - zoet.

“Da’s... ni oke. Moest ik de kans hebben,” hij leunt naar mij en ik voel zijn adem in mijn oor, “zou ik u kapotneuken.”

Vanuit zijn ogen zie ik dat het waar is. Ik bijt op mijn tanden. Ik hou mijn handen omhoog, alsof ik schuldig ben, en zeg, ik ga mij gewoon ontrekken uit de situatie. Ik sluit mijn ogen - ik wil hem zo graag.

Ik vind Sarah niet. Ik ga door de mensen heen, ik zie hem. Hij lacht van, “Da meende ni, maak het mij ni ook moeilijk, blijf weg”.

“Ik ben haar kwijt,” zeg ik. Hij zegt weinig. Ik ga op het podium staan om te zoeken, maar ik zie hem kijken. Hij komt naast mij staan, ik stap een trede naar beneden. Ik wil hem ontwijken. Ik wil dat hij mij volgt. Hij gaat achter mij staan en zijn vingers gaan opnieuw langs mijn hals, duwt zijn duimen in mijn nek. Ik wil naar achter leunen en smelten onder de aanraking. “Doet da ni,” zeg ik. Hij verontschuldigt zich. Ik ga naar buiten.

Na mijn hart te luchten tegen Sarah, besluiten we nog één drankje buiten. Hij staat daar, en zonder woorden gaan we samen aan een tafeltje staan.

“Ik moet iets vragen,�� zeg ik. “Wat studeert ge?” Psychologie, antwoordt hij. Mijn frank valt.

“Roan de Bruyne,” zeg ik. “Ik ben Julie Cramm.” Gelach, da meende nie, ale jong. Is het mijn ding? Ja. Het zijne? Hij had een jaar handelswetenschappen gedaan. Psychologie is interessant maar muziek... mensen zeggen hem dat hij eigenlijk goed kan zingen. Elektrische gitaar. Ik wil huilen.

Heeft hij een vriendin? Nee, nu enkele maanden na een halfjaar gedaan. Vaginisme. Moeilijk. Stond hij daar met zijn bloemen, had zij twijfels. Doet ge mij pijn, is het gedaan. En daarvoor? Drie jaar fuckbuddies. Het was goede seks. Ik weet niet meer of er een maar was. Had ik zijn tekort maar beter bevraagd in plaats van direct te vragen - Wat is goede seks?

“Weet ge wel, waar ik toch een beetje... mijn ding kan doen. Ale, dominant zijn. Ni da een meisje da ni mag,” “soms wel,” zeg ik, “ja, maar gewoon. Ik neem voornamelijk het voortouw. Enfin, da wil ik.” “Interesting,” zeg ik. Na 3 jaar wordt dat allemaal moeilijker, dat begrijpt hij. De inzet, enzo. Dat ik meer orale seks moet geven dan krijgen, steek uw hoofd een keer tussen mijn benen ook. “Ge moet uw tijd daar voor nemen,” hoor ik, “da’s belangrijk.” We kijken elkaar aan, schieten in de lach. Ik wil hem.

“Ik wil u,” zeg ik, en hij zegt, “nee, ja, alleen al toen ge dat daarstraks zei. Verboden vrucht, ge kent da.” Ik zeg, zou ge het nog spannend vinden dan moest ik single zijn? “Bwa nog wel wa spannender waarschijnlijk”.

Het is zes uur. Het is tijd. Ik zeg hem, tot nog eens. Geef hem een kus op zijn wang en vertrek. Als ik wakker word heb ik een vriendschapsverzoek.

We hebben gepraat. Kater? Nee, ik heb daar geen last van, en gij jongedame? Jawel, maar niks beter dan dafalgan op de trein. Ben ik er zo eentje? Ik zeg dat noemen ze lichtgewicht, “ik zou wel weten wat doen met een lichtgewicht”, ik stuur screenshot Dorien “hebt gij gekust”. Nee, da’s ni gebeurd. Ge hebt u schonekes gedragen. Maar zou ge da volgende keer kunnen? Schuldgevoel weegt zwaar. Ik moet wel. Snap ik, bent ge nog wel zeker van uw relatie ook? Er zijn altijd moeilijke periodes, maar wil nog ni opgeven. Balen, maar volledig begrijpelijk. Ik weet ni wrm ik gestuurd heb ma ik vind u chill, en das op al die jaren nog ni echt voorgevallen. Kwou da gewoon zeggen I guess. Insgelijks, hij is ook tot mij aangetrokken, ni enkel fysiek, ik lijk een vrolijke verstandige dame. Koffie sometime? Sta ik zeker voor open. Gesprek stopt abrupt, hem hem ni meer gesproken. Ik wil het, ik wil het niet. Ik laat het lot beslissen maar dit heeft iets losgemaakt. Ik wil hem zien, kijken of het nog zo voelt. Ik wil hem nooit meer zien. Ik wil dat hij een bericht stuurt. Ik wil hem verwijderen. Hij heeft veel vriendinnen, ik heb het meisje gevonden waar hij fuckbuddies mee was. Ik ben zeker dat zij het is. Ze is mooi. Ze is niet zoals ik. Ik voel me weer zwakker. Ik wil me voelen zoals die avond. Ik wil me levend, sexy, zelfzeker voelen.

P.S.: die ene dude “ik ben heel kieskeurig ma gij bent oprecht het mooiste meisje dak al gezien heb vanavond” ik zeg zeveraar, nene echt, kzeg ja kheb vriendje, oh balen. Heeft Sarah en Felix nog geapproached en was blijkbaar heel oprecht, en zei ja ik ga haar dat gewoon nog wat vertellen om haar confidence te geven. Schattig. Maar lelijk.

Ik moest dit van mijn hart. Misschien om het gevoel weer te kunnen voelen, maar ik weet dat ik het niet meer zal kunnen helemaal. Bij Maarten voel ik dat niet. Die daagt mij ni uit op die manier, die flirt ni me mij. Ik wil da. Ik heb er gisteren mee geslapen en ik zat me mijn hoofd in een andere vibe, maar da was de beste seks in tijden. Ik voelde mij zo fucking geil, ik wou likken, kreunen, praat verkopen. Als ik me hem bezig ben krijg ik hem dan ook echt zo ver, maar alst dan mijn “beurt” is is da gwn saai. Vreet mij op ofzo. Kwenie. Ik wil het gevoel ni kwijtgeraken. Hij was zo lekker fucking. Hell. Ma gewoon die houding... neem mij. Ik wil hém, ma ik wil nog liever da gevoel me M hebben. Ma M is ni zo. Ma M is ook ni zo me andere meisjes en die gast wel en da zou mij gek maken. Ma ik zou mij wel levend voelen. Ma ik zou ni weten wa da me mij zou doen. Ik weet echt ni wa da was en ik wil eig da da voor hem ook speciaal was ma wrs ni, deel van het ding was ook gwn da ik voelde da hij MIJ echt wou. Ma wa is echt. Ale ik zal het wel plaatsen over de dagen heen ma ik heb effe iets gevoeld da ik nog nooit gevoeld heb bij iemand fucking lekker die ni onbereikbaar/kgaunooitmeerzien is, en kheb een vriendje, en kwil die helemaal ni kwijt, ma ik besef wa ik mis. Ma ik besef ook wa ik wel heb. It’s really confusing.

M zei ook van ja kheb het wel gehoord van Timon, ze was in haar element. En hij had mij door ofzo, ale, en erna ook ja stuurde u sidehoe al? En kwas zo ma neeei, en dan zei hij ook “ma sni erg da betekent da ik da ook mag” en legit excited, ma ik wil da helemaal ni. En dan denk ik ok dan doe ik da ook wel gwn terug, want dees was ook halve payback. Initieel. Ma dan weet ik ni of ik da gevoel ga terughebben want kben in die jaren echt wel gaan feesten ma deze gast was. Wtf.

Help

[jizzlordgod-blog]

My dad can’t stop dealing drugs, my grandmother is really sick. If she dies I will have no one. NO ONE. DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE IN THIS WORLD DO U KNO JAREN CAUSE U THINK U DO BUT U DONT CAUSE IF YOU THINK UR ALONE NOW JUST WAIT MOTHERFUCKER U WILL HAVE NO FAMILY AT ALL AND UR FUCKED. This will be my last resort. Let that sink in u stupid fuck. Ur fucked. No one believes in cause u have no one. I have to make believers out of all the world. Let them see me for me and let everyone around me know I don’t fuck around. I’m GOING TO BE THE GODDAMN MAN. THE MOTHERFUCKING HEAD COCK OF THE PACK IM GOING TO BE KONG DICK MARK MY GODDAMN WORDS ustupidlittlefucks

[butterfly-on-my-love]

Misfits Digimon AU!

No one asked.

I did this with the Creatures and the Derp Crew way way back so why not? I had images for those, so I might do some here but not now.

~Matt~

Partner: Falcomon Digivolution line: Puwamon-Pinamon-Falcomon-Peckmon-Crowmon-Ravemon-Ravemon Burst Mode Crest/Digi-Egg: Reliability

Matt met his perfect partner when a large black egg came out of his computer one late night. He had been editing the podcast, half asleep, and only really realized something was going on when the screen froze and turned whiter than an angel’s wings. The egg formed and appeared on his lap with a small device. He hadn’t been high or drunk, and was almost positive he was dreaming. It wasn’t until all the other guys, and some others online, had eggs, too. He made a joke about turning it into breakfast. “Think we can turn it into breakfast? How do you like your eggs, guys?” “I am not food!” A tiny voice had stated loudly. Angry little eyes on a brown tuft of fur glared up at Matt, then softened with joy. “I’m Puwamon, your partner!”

As Puwamon grew to Pinamon and then Falcomon, Matt learned to care for and love the creature. It wasn’t until Falcomon turned into Peckmon to save Matt that he realized just how much he cared for the ninja bird. Their bond only strengthened as they grew together.

~Jay~

Partner: Gatomon Digivolution line: SnowBotamon-Nyaromon-Salamon-Gatomon-Angewomon-Ophanimon/Mastemon (w/ BlackGatomon) Crest/Digi-Egg: Light

Jay’s partner transcended the regular Rookie stage, going to full Champion. Jay and Mason were the only two to have permanent Champion-level partners. They’re also the only two with partners that DNA digivolve to Mega level together. Jay fell in love with SnowBotamon from the start, especially knowing his best friend had the same Digimon. She only got cuter as she grew, eventually branching off from her sister and becoming a white angel. She and Jay sing together all the time. Like Jay and Mason, Gatomon and BlackGatomon tend to encourage each others’ antics.

~Mason~

Partner: BlackGatomon Digivolution line: SnowBotamon-Nyaromon-Salamon-BlackGatomon-LadyDevimon-Minervamon/Mastemon (w/ Gatomon) Crest/Digi-Egg: Hope

It’s no surprise that Jay’s partner and crest match perfectly, and they match him, but Mason didn’t think his matched at all. He had a black cat that turned into a lady demon, and his crest was Hope. How had he managed that? He wasn’t ever hopeful of shit. Okay, he was, secretly. The little black and purple creature was hopeful, too, but never showed it. They complimented each other perfectly, as they did with Jay and Gatomon. BlackGatomon was the brains to Mason’s brawn, helping him keep a level head and not run head first, stupidly, into danger, like he so often wanted to.

~Toby~

Partner: Lalamon Digivolution line: Nyokimon-Budmon-Lalamon-Sunflowmon-Lilamon-Rosemon-Rosemon Burst Mode Crest/Digi-Egg: Love “Fuck yeah! I get a sexy woman as my partner!” That’s the first thing Toby said as he faced almost certain death in a big fight. Lilamon rivaled LadyDevimon and Angewomon, but Rosemon’s appearance was Toby’s proudest moment. “I’m a proud mother.” He had commented after the fight was over. He and Lalamon are always out shopping together. He often gets her matching accessories. The two are always looking after the others, too.

~Cam~

Partner: Renamon Digivolution line: Relemon-Viximon-Renamon-Kyubimon-Taomon-Sakuyamon-Kuzuhamon Crest/Digi-Egg: Courage

Cam’s perfect partner was a fox, but one that was even taller than him. A small furball grew into a towering beast that he loved more than anything. He enjoyed when she moved to all fours in her Champrion form. He was taller than her again, but her ultimate form and mega form towered over him again. Her “extra-mile” evolution, Kuzuhamon, scared him at first. Had he been too prideful in her and made her dark digivolve? She had become almost scary with her dark color scheme, but she assured him that she could only achieve this form with his help. It was the best form she could turn into, and very few of her kind did.

~Swagger~

Partner: Kotemon Digivolution line: MetalKoromon-Kapurimon-Kotemon-Gladimon-Knightmon-Crusadermon Crest/Digi-Egg: Friendship

As the only member of the group to not have a partner with an “extra-step” in their evolution line, he was lucky enough to get a borderline God as his partner. Despite his pink coloring, Crusadermon identifies as a male that gives no fucks. “I am pink because it’s a cool color.” He always says when Toby asks and when Mason makes fun of him. He shuts shit down like Negan would, proving to Swagger that he is his perfect partner, through and through. It was cool to have a tiny little guy with a mask hiding his face and a stick to fight with. It was cooler to have a little fat knight, and even cooler still to have a bigger knight. Yet, Crusadermon took the cake in all his pink glory. It was like his childhood fantasy coming true.

~Bee~

Partner: FanBeemon Digivolution line: Pupumon-Puroromon-FanBeemon-Waspmon-CannonBeemon-TigerVespamon-Grademon Crest/Digi-Egg: Sincerity

Obviously, Bianca was gifted with a Bee Digimon as her perfect partner. FanBeemon was adorable, but definitely bigger than the average human bee. She and Bee quickly became best friends and did everything together. FanBeemon formed a crush on Kotemon, sometimes getting into trouble just so he could save her. She enjoyed becoming Grademon just to prove she was better than he was, though.

~Brodie~

Partner: Palmon Digivolution line: Nyokimon-Tanemon-Palmon-Togemon-Lillymon-BanchoLillymon-Rafflesimon Crest/Digi-Egg: Knowledge

Palmon and Lalamon were as good of friends as their human partners were. Palmon, however, had quickly formed a crush on Falcomon. Unlike her other friend, FanBeemon, she didn’t try and get into dumb situations to be saved. She admired from afar, but proved her own strength, too. She once saved Falcomon and Matt, but they, too, had once saved them. Palmon would never forget the moment Crowmon had swooped in and saved her, as Matt leaped off of his back to catch a falling Brodie. Lillymon and Lilamon were close in design, but BanchoLillymon was “epic,” according to Toby. She was a gothic beauty that became even more gorgeous when she took the extra step to becoming Rafflesimon. Much like her other female counterparts, all the boy Digimon swooned over her. Except the one she wanted most.

~John~

Partner: Vorvomon Digivolution line: Mokumon-DemiMeramon-Vorvomon-Lavorvomon-Lavogaritamon-Volcanicdramon-AncientVolcanomon Crest/Digi-Egg: Vanity

What’s better than a goddess for a partner? A dragon that is made of lava and smoke. Vorvomon is adorable and fierce, and a little vain. He often steals John’s rings because they are “shiny” and he likes them. The two also have contests to see who can blow more smoke. John’s vape tricks amaze the small dragon, but in his final form of Volcanidramon, he out smokes anyone. He’s proud of this fact, too.

~Jaren~

Partner: Gomamon Digivolution line: Pichimon-Bukamon-Gomamon-Ikkakumon-Zudomon-Vikemon-Plesiomon Crest/Digi-Egg: Desire

What’s more Canadian than a seal? One that turns into both a Viking beast and a mythological Cryptid dinosaur. Jaren refers to Gomamon as “Bappo” from time to time, for no other reason than to piss the little guy off. Gomamon hates the nickname, but he loves his partner too much to truly be mad. He’ll never admit it, but after a while, he gets used to it. The two are a perfect pair, and match John and Vorvomon. Vorvomon is a fire monster, while Gomamon loves the water. They’re perfect best friends.

~Ezra~

Partner: Patamon Digivolution line: Poyomon-Tokomon-Patamon-Angemon-MagnaAngemon-Seraphimon-ShadowSeraphimon Crest/Digiegg: Kindness

Okay, so you’d think the kind of Raccoons would get a Raccoon as a partner. Sadly, none exist, so he is stuck with an orange hamster with wings. Patamon turns into an angel, and by his “extra step,” is dark and beautiful. Ezra jokes he made him this way with his dark humor, but the idea of the angel of kindness and hope forming into a shadowy fallen angel terrified him at first. It made up for not being a Raccoon and for being a literal religious being. Ezra wouldn’t admit it, but Angemon had better hair than he did.

~Grizzy~

Partner: Bearmon Digivolution line: Punimon-Tsunomon-Bearmon-Grizzlymon-Pandamon-BanchoLeomon-Callismon Crest/Digi-Egg: Guts

Nelson was surprised to get a partner at all. But Bearmon, with his cute little snapback, was perfect. He couldn’t be happier to have him. How the little bear turned into a grizzly, then a panda, than a goddamn lion in a suit, and then to a bigger grizzly bear with guns for hands, he didn’t know, nor care. He loved his little buddy more than anything.

[jasper-the-menace]

Already thinking more about it. I could break it down based on the primary fandoms they come from, for the most part.

For instance, in my MTG crew:

Menea as Warden would be Menea Surana, who specializes in earth and healing magic. She's not one to be fucked around with.

Quick-Sign as Hawke would be...I don't know, Quisi Hawke? He's a rogue who vanishes into the shadows and would do anything to see his younger sister safe after failing to protect his younger brother and his mother.

Either Jaren or Ritter would make for interesting Inquisitors from the Trevelyan family. The other would still tag along. Jaren Trevelyan as Inquisitor would be a rogue mage under the protection of his Templar brother; Ritter Trevelyan as Inquisitor would be a Templar who's refused to keep standing by while people are hurt and taken a far more radical approach, much to his twin's delight.

Or my Dragon Ball crews:

Stem Sianamne turns into Stem Mahariel, Dalish hunter turned savior of Thedas who just wants some goddamn peace and quiet. (And fuck it, Jiren is there too because these two make each other Worse™️ and I love that for them.)

Sharpa Fuque is now Sharpa Hawke, half-elven head of an abandoned human noble family who's a warrior that is meaner than sin and dipkissing Anders while the Chantry explodes in the background.

Temp is tired but also now Temp Adaar, sucked into a Qunari Warband by his shitty cousins and gets talked into all sorts of weird shit. He needs a fucking nap.

It would be pretty hard to jerry-rig Lohiarm and co into this, since they're all around the same age. But I think I like these two versions going on here.

I'd love to have a Dragon Age worldstate/canon where it's just...run by people who are The Literal Worst™️, but given my current mental and emotional state, I think that will be not now.

So instead I will be jerry-rigging my already existing OCs to fit in as Warden, Hawke, and Inquisitor.

And given how young most of them are, they're going to be quite interesting to fit into the Dragon Age world.

[sedimentarydearwatson]

Sorry if you've answered this before, but assuming a Guardian was to talk to Shin (Either on the rare occasion Shin visits the Tower or just when the two cross paths), what are good ways to get into Shin's good graces?

This is going to sound terribly facetious but: be like Jaren.

More specifically, I think he’d favour Guardians who care about the little people. Most Guardians seem to live solely within the segregated society of the Tower or their own equally segregated worlds, which is understandable given that being an amnesiac corpse imbued with life by an alien power for the sole purpose of fighting an impossible war does not leave one primed for making nice with the civilians. Even Guardians that make an effort sometimes bear casually callous attitudes; Cayde helps out with City dodgeball for the kids, but he also dismissed the technomite breakout as harmless because it didn’t harm Guardians, nevermind that it would have been a plague of devastating proportions for the City proper.

Shin’s been one of the little people. Any sort of disregard or belittlement of non-Guardians is going to immediately highlight the gulf between him and the others, whereas someone who at least tries to understand the mortal perspective stands a better chance of forging some common ground.

Beyond that, I reckon he’d prefer people understand the weighty duty of a Guardian’s role over the frequently flippant or the glory-hounds, people who have a wanderer’s experience over people who’ve stuck close the City, and people who don’t make a Thing out of his history over people who are way too interested in his personal trauma. Also possibly people who can let a silence sit a while over people who literally can’t keep their trap clapped for five goddamn minutes, h’oh dear lord he is trying to have a moment here.