#jared was phenomenal

[soulmates-for-real-tranquility]

14x13

Sam gets closure. He receives and grants forgiveness. I cry every time I re-watch this scene.

Jared hit this out of the park. His line reading at "And I think about you a lot" and at "I think about you...(hmm)...I think about you. On the floor of the hospital" is just heart wrenching and soul crushing.

The Yellow Draft of this scene from @spnscripthunt

It's not the final version and there are some changes in Sam's final dialogue which are small but significant. I wish I knew who made those changes.

[awanderingcatharsis]

"that one jared padalecki photo" and everybody knows what I'm talking about

[wendibird]

Okay, all'y'all have some gold in the tags, so, courtesy of op @ardentpoop and @chiisana-sukima and @peanutbutterandbananasandwichs

I have to say, when I first watched this episode live, Jared had me in tears (the good kind) and I was actually surprised that the episode had come from the infamous duo, BuckLeming. (Because normally I just don't care for most of their episodes.)

But upon further reflection I realized it wasn't the writing itself that made me like it. The writing was actually pretty average (to absolutely cringeworthy, especially in the B-plot with Nick) it was the J's performances that elevated it. They took mediocre lines and with their acting, made the scenes about everything that was going on under the surface for the brothers, but that they just couldn't talk about directly. Until Sam finally did, and it came out clumsy and halting and not fully correct, but the emotions Jared brought to it made it work as his last ditch effort to turn that boat around.

And yeah, I just imagine sometimes what we could have had if those two writers hadn't been given their way so much. (Or at all, really.)

prophet and loss could’ve been a good episode if literally anyone else wrote it.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Five

Summary: You start a conversation with Jungkook about where you stand but are interrupted by an uninvited visitor Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Suggestive and explicit language (an argument). Nothing too crazy honestly. Horribly edited too because it's been three weeks and I wanted to get it out! a/n: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out but I was away from home for a week and then wrote a couple of one shots and blah blah blah lol but anyways I hope you enjoyyyy Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

After our eventful afternoon Jungkook and I ended up laying in his bed and watching movies since like he said, he wanted me to be "well rested" before we have the talk. The talk that could change everything between us... 

There are multiple outcomes to this scenario and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of them. 

On one hand he could say this was all a mistake and he was just acting on his urges. I know now for damn sure though that he's attracted to me but I don't know what his motives and feeling are towards me. If he even has any besides surface level physical attraction. 

On the other hand he could want to pursue a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Being fuck buddies or whatever with an older man does sound exciting when I think about doing it with him. It's just that don't know if I'd want something like that even if it was with him. 

I told Jared before that I wanted to save myself for marriage and I feel like that's something I still want to stick to. I've definitely crossed so many lines with Jungkook in the last not even twenty four hours, more like twelve hours or something like that but regardless lines have been crossed and I'm still not sure how I feel about any of it. 

I want to say that I don't regret it and it's not just because it felt fucking phenomenal and out of this world but because I feel safe with him.

It might just be because over the past couple of months that I've been living with him he's become someone I care about and honestly trust with my life so I didn't really feel a need to say no to him. I wanted it to happen, I know I did I just didn't really think it would ever happen. I thought that it would stay in my hormonal fantasies forever and I was okay with that. 

The way he's been treating me has shown me that he cares about me. Although I was trying to convince myself that it was somewhat of a paternal instinct in him and that he was just being protective over me, I knew that it was something beyond that. 

I tried to somewhat address it in a weird sort of way with the whole asking why he didn't have anyone over conversation and he knew what I was trying to ask and addressed it but his answer made me even more confused. 

"I wouldn't want to ruin what we have going on here"  like what does that even mean? He doesn't want to ruin the dynamic we have in the house in terms of we're comfortable with each other and feel no need to let anyone inside our little safe space. 

Or did he mean that he didn't want to ruin what we have going on here because he wanted to see where things went with us on a more romantic level?

He hasn't explicitly told me that he would want to pursue a relationship with me but circling back to before he's given me clear signs that he's attracted to me and isn't one to hide it. 

He knows to a certain extent that I find him attractive too because I asked him to take my virginity. (I'm never gonna be able to live that one down) Anyone could tell that he was clearly struggling to hold himself back and the fact that he kissed me just shows that he wanted to. That he wanted me.

Then there's another possibility that he might want a sugar baby sort of relationship and I don't even want to think about something like that. 

Don't get me wrong! I respect the hustle, but that's just not for me. 

If I'm gonna be doing something like what we are doing right now then I want it to be something that I want to do without any ulterior motive. I don't want to put a monetary value on the time I spend with him but not gonna lie, living it large and not having to worry about money or working sounds very tempting.

I don't think he's that kind of man though...or at least I hope he's not. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks playfully, having noticed that I haven't really been paying attention to the movie we've been watching. 

"Just thinking" I answer, cuddling in closer to him as I've refused to let go of him today and he hasn't made moves to do any different. 

"Bout what?" he prods further, placing a kiss on the top of my head and taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo in my hair.

"Things" I continue, liking the game we've started to play. 

"What sort of things?" he chuckles, telling me that he's enjoying it too. 

"All kinds of things" I say nuzzling closer into him and he wraps his arm tighter around me to keep me there.

"Wanna share a few?" he asks, clearly not letting this go since he wants to at least make sure I'm okay. 

"Thinking about how you might want to make me your sugar baby" I mumble into his chest and he laughs wholeheartedly making me even more embarrassed. 

"Is that something you'd want?" he asks and I shake my head. 

"You don't wanna be at home and sit pretty, waiting for me to come back and shower you with gifts and jewelry and give you the world?" he teases while pinching my sides making me pull away from him, trying to escape. 

"N-no! Now s-stop" I choke out through laughter and gasps of breath. "What would you want" he asks after having tackled me down onto the mattress making sure to do a thorough job of tickling me until I could barely breathe. 

I take a second to think, my eyes going back and forth between his while his stay still, focused and almost begging for an answer. 

"I thought we weren't going to have this conversation until I was well rested" I say, breathless, still not knowing up from down when it comes to us. If there even is an 'us'. 

"You feel well rested?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I nod my head quickly, giving me a crooked smile in response. "Then it's perfect timing right?" he continues and I nod again leaving him getting off of me and leaning his back against the headboard, waiting to hear what I have to say. 

I take a minute or so to gather my thoughts and the whole time he's watching me curiously, almost able to see the wheels turning in my head. 

"What happened between us kind of caught me by surprise" I start, looking down at my lap and playing with my fingers nervously. "I don't regret it, it was just, well I'm just kind of confused about how you feel about me, and I'm really confused about how I feel about you" I admit and I can see his expression go a bit wary but I jump at the chance to explain myself. 

"It's just that I think both of us know at this point that we're extremely attracted to each other" I start out and the corner of his lips upturns for a second but nods in confirmation, waiting for me to continue. 

"With us getting physical and all so quickly I can't help but think that maybe we should take a step back. I would like to know your thoughts and intentions and feelings about all of this. I might be overthinking it but I really think it's best to be up front and honest with each other" I say and take in a shaky breath, scared I might've said the wrong thing.

"You're so sexy when you act so mature like that" he taunts and I groan, wanting to keep this serious. "I'm just playing Bunny. Well I'm not because you really are sexy but I don't want you to feel all nervous and insecure like you are right now. We're being open and honest right?" he questions and I nod my head, eager for him to continue. 

"Meaning it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you that I have feelings for you right?" he says and my eye bug out in response, not knowing what to do now. "Wasn't expecting that huh?" he chuckles and I shake my head making him laugh even more. 

"Cat got your tongue Darling?" he teases and scoff at that. "No I was just being polite and letting you keep talking since you let me do the same" I say, making excuses and trying to keep my voice level. 

"Sure Bunny" he smirks not believing a word I said but continuing nevertheless.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now and I haven't told you or acted on it because I wanted to respect the fact that you were in a relationship. I never liked Jared though for what it's worth" he says without hesitation and it makes me cringe at the thought that I was about to marry that snake. 

"Is it harsh to say I'm glad he's out of the picture?" he says boldly making me laugh. "Not just because it benefitted me but because he didn't deserve to marry a beautiful, intelligent, kind hearted woman like you. I would've said something but I'm not your father so I knew it wasn't my place" he finishes and making me smile, thankful that he was so considerate. 

Now that I think about it, even back then I respected and trusted his judgement so it wouldn't have bothered me even if he did say something.

"It's not harsh to say because I'm happy about it too. To be honest though I don't really know what I ever saw in him. I think because he was the first guy that more or less respected my boundaries that I thought I had to hold onto him. I don't know" I say and he nods his head.

This is something I haven't experienced before. Someone sitting and taking the time to actually talk things out without any outside distractions and focusing on each other and hearing each other out. 

Maybe it's just an age thing and the fact that Jungkook does fit the standard of dating older and more mature men is better. We're not dating though, but I guess we'll hopefully figure out where we stand once this conversation comes to a close.

"I'm really confused and I kind of don't know how to feel but I'm not closed off to figuring things out" I say, glancing up at him and back down at my lap, nervous from seeing how fascinated he is with me right now. 

I hold my breath and wait for him to say something but when nothing ever comes I chance looking up at him again and I'm surprised to see how he's still watching me.

"Like I said, I've had feelings for you for a while and if you're open to seeing where things go then I would really like to take you out on a date. Like on a proper date. I know since we've been living together and we've been spending a lot of time together but I-" he start off strong but begins to ramble and is regretfully cut off by the sound of the front door opening. 

"Dad! Dad where are you?" Jina calls out and neither of us dares to move or make a sound. "Dad" Jina drags out, regretfully confirming that I am in fact not dreaming. "Be down in a second" he says then presses a finger to his lips. 

"Just stay in here and I'll take care of it" he whispers and I nod my head, watching him as he panics internally before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind him. 

What the hell are we gonna do? My car is out there! Or wait, did I put it in the garage yesterday? I can't remember but I really hope it's not out there otherwise she'll already know I'm here. 

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook says. I can hear his muffled voice through the walls and I know I probably shouldn't listen but curiosity gets the best of me making me rush to the door and quietly crack it open, needing to hear how this conversation goes. 

"Nice to see you too dad" she says, and I hate the fact that I'm only able to hear them but I'll settle for this. 

"You should've contacted me before you came over Jina. You know I don't like people showing up unannounced" he says sternly.

"You're usually totally fine with me coming over" she says sounding thoroughly confused and I can hear Jungkook clear his throat before she starts again. 

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks after no doubt clocking the dishes that were left over from lunch. Two plates, two cups and two sets of silverware. A dead giveaway that someone is here especially since it hasn't been cleaned up yet. 

"You are actually" he says and I trip, surprised that he would straight up admit it but he has no reason to hide, and neither do I.

Having pushed the door open thanks to my clumsiness (somehow able to stay upright and keep my dignity this time) I'm faced with the dilemma of if I should just go back inside and pretend that never happened when it clearly did or come out and face her. 

I'm given the luxury of having that choice since she hasn't seen me yet but I decide it's better to do this as soon as possible. We've hid the fact that I've been living here for two months so what's adding on the fact that I've been messing around with her father while doing so. 

(Although this is a newly added feature but she doesn't need to know that)

I take a deep breath before stepping out from behind the door, watching Jina's face go from surprised to confused to disgusted to angry before turning back towards her father. 

"You're fucking my best friend?" she accuses, not completely wrong but semantics. 

"Best friend's don't fuck around and get pregnant by their friend's fiancees" I remind her, walking down the stairs in conveniently only Jungkook's shirt making what's going on, or what's starting to go on between us even more clear. 

"Oh grow up! It's not like there's anything we can do to change that now can we? Plus looks like you're doing just fine without him" she throws at me and from that moment I'm not pulling any punches. She wants to play dirty? Fine, let's play dirty.

"Jina stop it" Jungkook growls, going on the defensive, not being able to gauge what kind of mindset she's in or even her reasoning for coming here but wanting her out all the same.  

"Grow up?" I chuckle dryly, "I guess you're right, I guess maybe I have started growing up since it seems I've matured enough to be with someone like your father. Which, last time I checked, wasn't someone you have any business in questioning on things like his sex life and who he does and does not partake in it with" I say, placing a hand on his bicep possessively and I feel the tension he had once held in his body start to melt away. 

Interesting to know that I have this effect on him...

"Come on, we both know that you're probably just a piece of ass to him" she scoffs before turning to address him. "Didn't know you started picking up strays. I wondered where she had ran off to" she says, continuing to disrespect the both of us without a care in the world.

"Don't call her that!" Jungkook says, jaw clenched as a way to keep himself in check. 

All I see is red though and the next words I hurl out are ones that I couldn't stop myself from saying even if I tried. The ringing in my ears fanning the flames of my agitation making it impossible to hold back.

"How's life being pregnant with my fucking ex boyfriend's baby? He's probably taking real good care of you huh?" I taunt, cocking a brow at her and from the way the color rushes to her cheeks and the words die in her throat are enough to tell me everything I need to know. 

He hasn't done shit for her.

She balls her hands into fists by her side and lunges at me but Jungkook jumps in between us, grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around, forcing her out the front door. 

"You're gonna throw me out and choose that slut over your own daughter?" she yells struggling to get out of his grasp the whole way. 

"Last time I checked honey the only slut around these parts is you" I throw back, following right behind them and the way her jaw drops is just priceless. 

"That's enough! Jina go!" Jungkook says through gritted teeth letting go of her once she's passed the thresh hold, leaving her standing there, looking between the two of us before scoffing and storming off down the driveway. 

"I knew you were obsessed with her I just never thought you would bother acting on it" Jina spits out at her father and when she sees that he doesn't flinch she hurls more baseless lies and insults at the both of us. 

"You know she's just using you to get a place to stay and get over her ex right? What happened to staying a virgin until you got married y/n? Huh? Guess getting cheated on really fucked you up" she spits while unlocking her car. 

"And I guess fucking around with an ego-driven two-timing narcissist gets you pregnant" I throw back and she purses her lips before sinking down in her car, accepting defeat this time and leaving like her father told her to. 

"Say hi to Jared for me" I call out, waving at her as she grips the steering wheel until her knuckles have gone white, putting it in drive and backing out of the driveway.

I walk over to the couch and let out a big sigh once I've sat down, throwing my head in my hands as a way to ground myself. 

Breathing through this dizzy feeling from that whole confrontation that I had not been prepared for is a lot tougher than I thought it would be, my whole body still buzzing.

I hear Jungkook close the door behind him after having watched her speed down the street, still worried for her safety but also wanting to make sure she was actually gone. What happened just now was enough of a confrontation to last me a lifetime, or at least it feels that way.  

"Hey" he whispers, kneeling in front of me and rubbing my back, "Are you okay?" he continues and I nod my head, feeling the tears prickling in my eyes, calling my bluff.

"Come here" he whispers, sitting on the couch next to me and pulling me onto his lap, rubbing my back again and holding me while I let out some of those tears I had held back.

"I don't even know why I crying" I say, sniffling and sitting back up to dry my eyes.

"No one likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about. Well, nobody sane likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about" he says, trying to lighten the mood and it does the trick making me scoff a bit, smiling at his efforts to make me feel better.

He cups my face and wipes a few tears that had fallen, looking at me with his brows pinched together as if his heart is breaking with mine.

"But you still care about her though, don't you?" he asks and I nod my head. "It's hard not to" I admit, getting off his lap and sitting next to him which makes him angle his body to face mine, taking hold of one of my hands, encouraging me to speak my mind. 

"She's been my best friend for the past six years. That's not something that can magically be turned off for me. I know what she did to me was devastating and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for it. I'm still trying to heal from it all so I don't know, I couldn't help but defend myself, and you. I'm sorry you had to see that" I say, mumbling the last part and feeling so much regret for saying those ugly things about his daughter right in front of him. 

"Everyone has a right to defend themselves and when you're being attacked like that, you can't help but say hurtful things. She had no right and she knew that and wanted to hurt the both of us anyway" he says and I take a deep breath before turning my attention back to him because she said just as many hurtful things to him as she did to me.

"Are you okay?" I question, tightening my hold on his hand to hopefully encourage him to be vulnerable with me as well. 

He nods his head with a sad smile and waits a beat before saying anything and I hold my breath until he does. 

"No one wants their daughter to end up in the kind of situation she put herself in or see the people that they care about hurting but what she said didn't hurt me" he says and I nod my head, paying attention to his hand that I have placed in my lap, tracing the swirls of ink with my eyes as they travel further up his arm. 

"What did hurt me though was the way she was talking about you. You know that's not how I feel about you at all right?" he says, tilting my face up towards him making purposeful eye contact with me, needing to know that I believe him. 

"I know" I nod, giving him a sad smile accompanied by my still glossy eyes making him even more sad seeing how upset all of this has made me. 

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?" he asks, cupping my face and keeping my eyes on him when I try to turn them away. "No, I'll be okay" I shake my head and he studies my features before nodding and accepting my words at face value. 

"Okay, do you wanna go back up to my room? You can sleep in there with me if you'd like" he says, brushing a tear dampened strand of hair out of my face. 

I give him a mischievous smile, telling him I know what he's up to but he pulls away and puts his hands up in a way to defend his motives. 

"Just sleep, I promise. Scouts honor" he says, crossing his heart and I laugh at his playfully defensive nature. "Sure" I say, taking hold of his hand while he stands up and leads me back to his bedroom. 

~~~~

After having talked a little bit more about what had happened the topic of conversation circles back to what we had been in the middle of before she showed up. 

"So earlier it seemed like you wanted to ask me a question" I say, taking a sip from my soda that had come with the take out we had ordered hours ago, toying with the straw and keeping his attention. 

"Yeah? And do you know what your answer might be to said question?" he teases, wetting his lips and keeping his eyes trained on mine. 

"You have to ask the questions first Daddy" I say placing my drink down on his nightstand and when I turn to face him again he's tackling me down on the bed peppering kisses all over me. 

"Stoooppp" I giggle and he laughs along with me before leaning back to hover over me. "Will you go out with me?" he asks and I can tell that this whole moment has him feeling like a teenager again.

"I thought you'd never ask" I say, running my fingers through his hair making him lean into my touch. 

"You can't take it back though. Once we do this I won't ever let you go" he husks out, placing a kiss on my palm and I shutter at the feeling. "Then don't" I breathe out making a flame of desire flash through his eyes. 

"You're gonna get yourself in trouble you know that?" he warns, placing a kiss on my nose before getting off me and turning off the tv. "Hey! I was watching that!" I pout "No you weren't" he chuckles. "Plus it's time to go to bed. We've got a big day ahead of us" he says, getting under the covers and motioning for me to do the same. 

"Big day?" I question, not remembering we had something on the agenda this weekend. "I may or may not have planned out our date this morning while you were still in bed Sleeping Beauty" he says, pulling me onto his chest but I sit up pulling away from him with my brows scrunched together. 

"How were you so sure I would say yes?" I scoff, shocked by his bold assumption. "From the way I've been making you moan my name I figured you wouldn't mind going on one date with me in return" he says and my jaw drops, throwing the covers off myself and making a break for it but he yanks me back towards him making me flop down on the bed. 

"You can't just say things like that" I whine, hands over my eyes as a way to block him out of my vision and hide the very apparent blush that I'm sure is starting to bloom. 

"Am I wrong?" he taunts, placing kisses on my neck and collarbone, dangerously close to making me moan his name again. 

"You're no fair" I say, pushing him off and giving him my back making him chuckle at my shy behavior. He lays down and pulls me back into him. My back now against his chest and his hand placed on my hip where I'm again reminded that I'm only wearing his shirt and my under ware. 

"Keep your hands to yourself Mr." I tease while prying his hand off me. "Come on darling, you know I'm a man of my word. Just sleep, nothing else" he says, this time sliding his hand further up to hold onto my bare waist. 

"Fine" I grumble out and he laughs and nuzzles his nose into my neck, taking another deep breath, flooding his senses with my scent. 

"Goodnight Bunny" he mumbles against my skin. "Goodnight Daddy I tease and am rewarded with a slap on my ass. 

"Did, did you just spank me?" I say trying to wiggle out of his hold but he's already got his arm wrapped around my waist again. "I told you that pretty little mouth of yours was gonna get you into trouble didn't I?" he says, switching to rubbing his hand along the tender flesh he just struck, caressing it in a way to ease the pain. 

I pout and settle back into the bed, not dignifying his words with a response. It's only when I accidentally move my hips backwards do I freeze from gaining a soft moan from him, no doubt caught off guard from the contact of my ass up against him. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to I-" "I know Bunny, just go to sleep" he says placing a kiss on my neck and holding my hips in place, putting a little more space between us. 

As I slow my breathing to a steady one I start to lull myself to sleep but I flinch at the sound of his cute snores in my ear. 'Something I'll have to tease him about in the morning' I giggle to myself and take his hand off my hip, choosing instead to hold it against my chest having him surrounding me. Soon I'm slipping into that dreamland he had drifted off to moments before, safe and warm being in his arms.  

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[19871997]

Jonathan Drouin scores in OT

“He was the best player on the ice,” Colorado coach Jared Bednar said of Drouin. “He was phenomenal tonight."

— PIT@COL, 24 Mar. 2024

[pendragonsclotpole]

I need to preface this post with the fact that I’ve been aware of Supernatural for as long as I’ve known what the terms fanfiction and fandom mean. It’s one of those pop culture moments that’s existed on the periphery of my mind as something really beloved and bemoaned about by people on the internet, but it’s never been something I really cared about outside of some iconic memes.

For the past four days, I’ve been watching Supernatural non-stop in my free time. I think I sat through eight episodes straight on one of those days, and I just have to say, the show is phenomenal.

I don’t know where to start, I could make a dozen of these posts about various points throughout the first two seasons and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’ve now taken a break at episode one of season three, because now that it’s a weekday I have work and can’t dedicate the time I could on the weekend.

First, Jared Padalecki’s acting is so beautiful and poignant and emotional. He really makes Sam Winchester into the bleeding heart of the whole show, and the entire time he’s on screen I worry about Sam. His portrayal of Sam’s heartbreak and desperation at Dean’s impending death after the car crash, as well as Sam’s horror at the reveal of what John told Dean before dying held a tragic desperation and denial that really embodied what the character represented in the first two seasons. Even as a hunter and with his special abilities, Sam felt like a quasi self-insert for the audience. I don’t mean that in a bad or overly tropey way, but in the way that he felt robbed of a proper childhood in favor of his father’s crusade. Sam is the angry, indignant younger sibling who never bore the brunt of responsibility like the older sibling did and it shows. In some ways, it makes him more entitled—I don’t mean that Sam does not have the right to be angry with John Winchester. He does. Fuck John Winchester. I mean entitled in the unintentional, coincidental way that your little brother or sister always demands the things you never had or rebels against the authority of the parent without ever dealing with the consequences you did as the older sibling. It reveals the veneer of freedom he had and the protection he received by virtue of his place in the Winchester Family. For me, it made him unbearably real, and this feeling of realness was made worse by the genuine naivety and innocence he keeps even as he continually gets screwed over by the demons. There’s a steadfast belief in the goodness of others within Sam that often conflicts with the sense of goodness he believes he lacks.

Sam trusts so easily, but he understands people in ways that should be antithetical to his upbringing. It took me forever to reconcile why he seemed so familiar, until I realized that Sam Winchester, for all that he was one of John Winchester’s son, had received the unconditional love of an older sibling for his entire childhood.

I don’t mean the perfect, kind, healthy love that often exists between fictional siblings. Too often I’ve watched media that makes me wonder how siblings like that even exist, or conversely, made me glad my siblings weren’t so fucked up.

I mean the kind of platonic love that exists between siblings living in the liminal space of love and hate thanks to the single fucked up connection that draws them back together continuously out of some sense of duty or commiseration or the need to be understood.

I mean the kind of love between siblings that would wither away when in a perfect world that does not stake their survival on their codependence of each other, but that in an imperfect and real world is equated to familiarity. Sam and Dean against the world—against John Winchester.

Out of all of the episodes I’ve watched in the last day and a half, perhaps the one that struck me most was episode 20, Season 2. What is and What Should Never Be. Not only was the title a bit of emotional whiplash—the juxtaposition of Should and Never lending a finality or a sense of wrongness that can’t be replicated by the words “Could Never—but we see Dean and Sam in a world where their one connection, hunting, has completely vanished and at a high cost to all the people they’ve saved, but mostly to Sam and Dean themselves. They’re connection as ride or die brothers is gone, replaced by an ostensibly better, healthier, more normal future liberated from the expectations of the rest of the world.

Without the death of Mary Winchester, Dean and Sam are no longer Dean and Sam. They’re just two people, connected by the two people that raised them, and likely to drift apart after that connection dies—frayed ends of a tapestry pulling apart and unraveling. Dean gains a mom and a normal life, but metaphorically loses a brother and a sense of purpose. Who is Dean Winchester if he’s not a hunter and Sam’s brother? And the sad thing is, neither of these are traits Dean ever chose. They are conditions foisted upon him, perhaps not intentionally, such as in the case of Sam, but ultimately placed on his soul until they tethered themselves to the very core of what being Dean Winchester is supposed to mean. The end of the episode, and Dean’s choice to return to the real world, regardless of Sam waking him up, is Dean fully giving up his dream in order to save Sam and be a hunter. The fallacy of the episode is in the choice Dean makes, which the more I think about it, feels less like a choice and more of an inevitability but one compounded by Dean’s readiness and willingness to go with it.

This is where I get to the crux of my surprise with these first early seasons of Supernatural: Dean Motherfucking Winchester.

I don’t know what I was expecting from early seasons of Supernatural, especially with the context of the later seasons. Maybe an overly cheesy, early 2000s ode to roadtrip Americana with a self-reverential take on the classic gun slinging frontiersman of the Wild West and bad supernatural CGI. Not to say it isn’t that (shout out to Sam’s comment on Dean’s particular brand of butch), but what surprised me was how real the connection between the characters was manifested on screen and how much good will the show built up in the audience. There came a point where I sided with Dean so much in the events of the show that I felt like I was riding shotgun in the impala. I saw it with every compliant “yes, sir” he gave to John, with every teasing comment he threw at Sam, and with every act of selflessness he exhibited by protecting other people. This isn’t to say that Dean is perfect. Sometimes he doesn’t take things seriously enough, or he’s willing to sacrifice people for some misguided greater good, or he’s obsessed with saving Sam even when he wouldn’t be if it were anyone else, but Dean has a conviction so many people lack. He has the capacity to love at a great cost to himself, either because he believes himself unworthy of being loved or because he’s not used to anything else.

Jensen Ackles does such a good job at this portrayal and with such a different technique than Jared Padalecki. Ackles embodies the desperate need for self-assuredness that Dean breathes, as well as the genuine fear he has of being seen. I love laughing with Dean as much as I love screaming at him for how stupid he’s being. If Sam is the self-insert, then Dean is the tragic hero, although that comparison feels like a poor facsimile for what Dean Winchester truly is because I don’t particularly feel an overwhelming sense of pity at his state or at his hinted downfall with that demon deal. If anything, I feel a sense of indignation mixed with understanding and frustration that Dean can’t catch a break but at the end of it all, is just how he prefers it.

It shouldn’t be a shock to admit that even without knowing what happens from seasons 3 to 15, I know how Supernatural ends. Just thinking about the ending makes me wonder if I should even continue it past season 5, but that’s a decision for another time.

For now, there’s something unbearably tragic in seeing Dean Winchester so close to a chance of a normal life and apple pie happiness (something he really seems to desire no matter how much he denies it) and then having to give it up, not just because it’s not real, but because he believes it should never be real.

Dean Winchester deserves better.

[evermore-fashion]

Met Gala 2023: My Top 10 Women’s Looks

Here we go, this is my 10 women’s looks from the Met Gala 2023. Just to remind everyone that my opinions are mine alone, so feel free to agree or disagree with me as much as you like. However I will not tolerate any hate personally aimed at me if you disagree with me to the point where you want to start an argument. So let’s keep it respectful, clean (language wise) and more importantly let’s have some fun with this. Like I said, if you’re looking for an argument, then you’re following the wrong fashion blog. 

1. Kim Kardashian wearing Schiaparelli. This was the first look I saw this morning when I switched my phone on and I was blown away by it. I honestly didn’t know what to expect from Kim after her look from last year that got a lot of people talking. So I was pleasantly surprised to see her in an original design that shows off her body in all the right places and I love the draped pearls across her breasts (which are actually covered by a nude bra). Overall it was another Met Gala and another show stopping moment from Kim Kardashian.

2. Doja Cat wearing Oscar De La Renta In comparison to Jared Leto, Doja Cat understood the theme and took it to a whole other level that was both unexpected but not at the same time. I loved the use of prosthetics that complimented her simple yet stunning crystallised gown. Plus who doesn’t love a gown with a hood that has cat ears coming out the top that makes you look like a fashionista rather than someone attending a Halloween party?

3. Gigi Hadid wearing Givenchy I’m a sucker for a black gown that comes not just with a corset but a lot of tulle draped perfectly in all the right places as well. Gigi just looked stunning in this and considering a lot of attendee’s were also wearing either black or white, her Givenchy gown stood out when I was scrolling endlessly through all the looks earlier today. Simple, yet perfect sums up her look that I couldn't not add to my top 10 favourites. 4. Cardi B wearing Chenpeng Studio  I just loved the edgy yet alternative bridal look that also incorporated a masculine energy through the shirt and tie design blended with a corset that still made the overall gown look and feel feminine as well as beautiful. I’m not a fan of Cardi B as a rapper but like Kim Kardashian her Met Gala looks have never disappointed and I think this look was one of her best yet. 

5. Devon Aoki wearing Jeremy Scott Even though it’s yet another black & white gown, I just love the cartoon styled wings on the bust line of the corset. To me it made this gown stand out in the sea on monochrome that plagued the Met Gala 2023. Without that unique design, this gown would’ve gone unnoticed and it would’ve easily become another gown that was worn to the wrong event.

6. Florence Pugh in Valentino Florence has been killing it with her red carpet looks in the last 18 months or so, so it was no surprise that she would turn heads at the Met Gala. Whilst I'm not a fan of Valentino since Pierpaolo Piccioli took over as creative designer when Maria Grazi Chiuri left for Dior back in 2016, I can’t help but love this look. A simple white gown paired with a huge feather crown just looked stunning on Florence and it’s another reason why we love seeing show stopping numbers like this one.

7. Glenn Close wearing Erdem Moralıoğlu Similar to Florence Pugh’s look, Glenn Close just looked phenomenal in her Erdem Moralıoğlu design. Once again it was simple yet stunning and I loved the colour on her. It suited her to a tee and what better way to pair a simple gown that with a huge pale blue cape and the sparkliest jewellery of the night. It just goes to show that anyone of any age and can look amazing when dressed perfectly for the Met Gala.

8. Liu Wen wearing Tory Burch I just love how simple the gown is yet at the bottom it’s filled with white flowers that make the Tory Burch gown stand out amongst hundreds of Met Gala looks. The whole look screams red carpet but it’s also the ideal gown for a bride who doesn’t want to wear white to her wedding. Liu Wen just looked stunning in it and it’s why her look has made it into my top 10. 

9. Salma Hayek wearing Gucci I just love that it wasn’t black or white and the sharpness of the red looked phenomenal on Salma both in the PVC corset and the long tiered skirt. Plus the subtle draping of the pearls as straps just topped the look off altogether. Once again I loved everything about it and I can’t fault it at all. It was perfect.  10. Tems wearing Robert Wun This gown was a standout for all the right reasons. Tems looked absolutely gorgeous from head to toe and I love how all the feathers are perfectly placed on both the gown, the gloves and the headpiece from stepping over that line from haute couture into a costume. The shape of the gown also compliments her body to her a tee and I couldn’t think of anything better that Tem’s could’ve worn to the Met Gala.  So this concludes my top 10 looks from the Met Gala 2023. I have to say picking this list was hard because there were so many another amazing designs worn last night, however these 10 stand out to me the most. Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments about which was your standout garment from last night, perhaps it’s on my list and perhaps it’s not. 

I look forward to hearing what you all have to say about this year’s fashion.

[blushingsastiel]

11×17 "red meat" is actually such a good episode. both jensen's and jared's acting is so good. the way jared was dying and then coming back to life and had to kill werewolves by himself like phenomenal. and then jensen having to snap himself out of wanting to die with sammy and instead helping the couple make it to safety. loved everything about sam and dean in this episode. the utter relief in hearing each other's voices.

[samwinchestersgirl83]

Hello all! I wanted to make a quick post to actually introduce myself right quick. My name is Jess, yes just like Sam’s girl 😏

I have actually had Tumblr for many many many years (circa 2008) but was not actually active until probably about a month ago.

Die hard wincestie 🩷 love Supernatural overall - even though I’m newer to the series. Coming up on 1 year since I have finished the show for the first time ever. Brainrot and altered brain chemistry is real 🫠

I have a precious furbaby bean 🐈‍⬛

I have a beautiful wife. We married on Halloween 2021 🧡🖤

And I love all of you. I went from literally 0 to 100 followers in the span of a month. Ya’ll are phenomenal and I love everyone of you.

My asks are always open because I can sit and talk about SPN, Wincest, and/or Sam/Jared all goddamn day 🩷

Random fun fact about me is I share a birthday with our very own Jared Padalecki! 🩷

[shadystranger]

Jared's phenomenal acting in that voice crack alone. Literally shattered me

Im spitballing here but theres sth to me about this moment "dont go thinking that's the problem because it's not" dean thinks he's the problem he's poison to people around him. he attributes the consequences of his actions to some higher power unrelated to him its probably a coping mechanism on his part but the thing is sam never considered him poison or a bad omen. sam always had a flexible room to forgive dean or absolve him of responsibility with things indirect to him that dean and his self loathing often shouldered it as a personal deficiency. But sam didn’t/won't in this one instance. It was the fact dean lied to sam and trampled on/deprived him of choice. sam was dying and dean was desperate, he was rattled by the whole ordeal sam makes up his life and purpose he cannot functionally exist without sam, sam dying throws dean in equal panic as if its his own death. And dean's a survivalist he must do everything in him to survive and by proxy sam will be subject to that mind working. Bc sam is an unearthed part of dean, so when sam is in danger dean's system kicks into survival mode he loses the ability to rationalize things or evaluate a situation, he goes direct into fight or flight mode and he must do everything to ensure his survival (sam's). That's how dean's codependency manifests.

But it's a two way street, sam is equally codependent. Dean's rashness to strip sam of the choice to die is mirrored in sam's unacceptence of dean's conscious decision to die that he doesn't rest till it's altered. Neither sam nor dean fully respect each other's wishes but the trick is dean does it in flagrant unthinking ways that are often extreme thanks to his deep-seated fundmental disorientation by the thought of sam dying. Meanwhile sam gets disordered by the idea of dean choosing to die all the same but he approaches it with more tact and seamlessness.

Dean tramples on sam's autonomous choice to simply die and gets heat for it (as he should). Sam plays it smart, he convinces dean to not pull through with it before dean had even reached a stage where it's a matter of taking his autonomy or not. You'll notice sam literally does Everything to save dean he'll kill the planet or destroy heaven or hell he'll go to the most extraordinary crazy lengths but he'll not step on dean's choice. At least not blatantly.

Once sam has set his mind to it i'll admit dean has very little influence on shaping or reshaping his resolution. So he must revert to force. But sam is different. He has intrinsic sway over dean so deep there's pretty much nothing sam cant talk dean out of, granted sam has a much better handle on getting his brother not to kill himself and having to live through that (which is both of their's ultimate fear). You could say sam has an advantage so he doesn't have to go immoral like dean has. Which is partially true but think about it even if its ultimately manipulation on sam's part he exercises it only as long as dean's death was not a deliberate decision in the moment but rather a consequence of chance and dean explicitly stated he doesn't want to be revived back.

Sam and Dean generally both act rash and do everything to ensure their plans to die not to pull through, both equally wrong but sam at least has a line, a morale to it when he hits the brakes. Dean completely doesn't.

[juniperhillpatient]

in order to refocus on my original writing project I’m trying to watch things that helped inspire it (it’s a ghost story with a heavy emphasis on setting including small town Americana midwestern gothic) so naturally I’m rewatching early supernatural & specifically the scarecrow episode which is one of my favorites & MAN I’m getting distracted from my supposed focus on the setting. (it’s fine my story is also about generational trauma & family & complicated sibling relationships it all fits the inspo bill.)

it’s funny because my brother & I were just ranting about Jensen ackles because my brother fell off supernatural years before I did but we basically agree early days spn had a lot of genius & im sorry but Jensen is a PHENOMENAL actor. the way he tells a story with his face here —

I’m not saying this to demerit from the fact that Jared & Jeffrey are also phenomenal actors but -

The way you can see a hundred emotions at once cross Dean’s face. The way he changes his whole demeanor & we don’t even really need to see or hear what John said to him - we got that in the conversation with Sam. It’s the difference in their reactions that’s important to the script but the sheer amount of childhood trauma Jensen packs into that performance…

it’s like you know everything you need to know about Dean Winchester’s daddy issues from that brief expression alone.

[phoenixlionme]

Encanto: Madrigal Family Relationship Analysis Part 28 - Antonio and Bruno

This is my favorite moment between this uncle and nephew duo; admittedly, it's one of the very few scenes they have together, but I still stand by my point. Antonio offers his stuffed jaguar, made by Mirabell (his favorite relative), to Bruno (a man he's just met and only heard about through his family and town's bias opinion). Jared Bush as confirmed in a twitter post that Antonio considers Bruno his pal. And I can understand why - given his gift, Antonio was told by Bruno's rats not only of the future teller's true personality but also the lengths the latter went to, to protect Mirabel, who Antonio greatly loves, cherishes, and admires. Of course, he would think of Bruno as his pal. And while it wasn't seen in the movie (which should've been), Bruno definitely returned Antonio's jaguar and genuinely thanked his young nephew for the help. And they would develop a tight bond because they are both shy but helpful guys who have an affinity towards animals more than people, and would do anything to help Mirabel, the person in the family who helped them the most (not hating on the Madrigals but the way Mirabel helped them was more beneficial). I can totally imagine Antonio cheerfully dragging Bruno along to play with him and his animals and Bruno happily agreeing since he loves being an uncle in general. I can also see Bruno trying to give good advice to Antonio that it's okay to prefer animals to people, a similar convo like the one Mirabel and Antonio had before his gift ceremony. In conclusion, these are PHENOMENAL PALS FOR LIFE.

[asurrogateblog]

Excuse me, what are your thoughts on the movie Two of Us?

Hello!

I genuinely really liked two of us. What struck me about it is that it's clear that the writers really did their research. Obviously michael lindsay hogg knew paul and john personally, and that comes through, but beyond that, you can absolutely tell that the people involved in the film have read all the interviews. For example, in the movie the two of them go out to a restaurant called Luigi's, which is a super obscure reference to an interview of paul's about his art and how he likes to imagine that he's making his paintings to be hung up in a little italian bistro. I was so excited to recognize things like that.

Also, in general, the actors do a phenomenal job. The first time I watched the opening scene where paul is getting interviewed, I literally laughed out loud, because aidan quinn absolutely nails all his weird little mannerisms. The same goes for jared harris as john (especially later in the film when john starts to let down his guard). Even though neither of the main actors really look like who they're playing, they sell it so well that I can ignore the disparities in appearance.

I was actually kind of surprised that I enjoyed it so much, because it's a pretty "quiet" movie and usually I'm the kind of person that needs either a plot or enough fuckupedness that I don't care anymore (I really want to be an art film kind of person...I'm just not). But obviously I'm personally invested enough in the people it's about that it was easy to get past that. My main criticism is that I felt like it ended a bit abruptly, and unless you're like... a tumblr freak who already knows how paul's psychology works, it can come across as confusing and unsatisfying. I, however, am a freak. So no prob.

Also, of course, there's all the "rpf is fine" stuff that goes without saying. the tension is palpable and michael lindsay hogg clearly intended that to be the case which, given he was their real-life friend, begs a lot of questions.

Biopics and other life-to-screen movies are very interesting to me, because they have to play a very careful game of being truthful and entertaining at the same time. Frequently the former is cast aside in a way that is a deep disservice to the people depicted (like the 1991 movie The Doors). In the case of Two of Us, however, even though the events depicted didn't -actually- happen, it is real. It's fiction truer than truth, and that's something very hard to accomplish.

tldr: I think it's pretty good!

[drasticemotions]

guys I don’t want to face reveal but my photo with Jared…oh my god he gave me a proper hug my head was on his chest…I can’t he was so nice it’s literally the best photo I could’ve ever gotten

got my Sam funko signed as well because j2 weren’t doing personalisations and I got to thank him and tell him how amazing he is

I just can’t believe I lived through that, the photo op is used as my pfp on literally everything and I will never shut up about this

My Jensen photo was just as good, definitely giving more soldier boy rather than Dean but I wouldn’t it any other way…his voice was so deep and so unexpected I forgot they were American tbh, Jensen is just so damn pretty I was shaking after the photo (we took his first and then went straight in line for Jared)

He signed my Dean funko as well and man I just he’s too attractive I was literally speechless and kept fumbling my words

I ALSO got photos with Richard Speight Jr, Rob Benedict and Matt Cohen (and autos for all of them as well) I was literally the height of Rich and Rob it’s hilarious (I was wearing my docs but thats irrelevant)

I got to personalise their autos and rich wished me a happy birthday (my birthday was the 8th and the con was the 9th) and I got Rich’s new CD which he signed as a bonus.

Literally a phenomenal weekend I can’t believe I was there

[amaranthhiding]

Samwena in 13x19 Funeralia

Excuse me while I fall into another obsessive Funeralia spiral. (I swear, every single time I rewatch any scenes, this episode gets me!) Or even better yet, join me on my descent!

When Dean tells Rowena that Sam is the one who's going to kill her in every single one of her books, she is hurt. Ruth's acting is absolutely phenomenal, you can see the hurt in every little change on Rowena's face. It even goes far enough for her to have that little lip and chin tremble.

Jared's acting is just as stellar because Sam's guilt over the whole thing is tangible in the air between them. He is so torn by guilt, he can barely look at her reaction for two seconds before he has to swallow and avert his gaze.

Then Sam tries to handcuff her, and she falls back into her pattern of trying to mask her hurt with humor. She thinks she managed it by proving her superiority with that astral projection stunt. She's fleeing in a wild run because of course she wants to avoid getting captured. But I think she's partly also trying to run away from this hurt by physically distancing herself from the place it happened, and especially from the person who caused it.

Note how at this point it doesn't seem to be her plan at all to abduct Sam in any way. She's just trying to run.

Then Sam catches up to her, and she doesn’t even try to flee or fight or use magic. She’s just standing there, frozen on the spot, like she has to know the truth. She has to know if he’d actually do it, but she can’t even face him while he makes his decision.

Sam struggles, he does. There are actual tears in his eyes.

And he realizes he can’t do it. Everything inside himself screams at him not to. He lets the weapon sink.

Thinking Sam has made up his mind, Rowena finally dares to turn around to look at him in a moment of connection because she thinks it’s safe.

That’s when the promise Sam has given Dean takes over that he’d put a bullet in Rowena if she breaks bad.

After the car talk with Rowena in 13x12, Sam finally admitted how helpless he’s feeling to Dean. Sam has failed over and over again this season, and nothing would work out the way he’d intended. He got knocked out like 6 times during the last few weeks and Dean had to come save him multiple times. Sam thinks he’s the one who got Kaia killed, and that he’s the one to blame for Jack being stuck in Apocalypse World. And just one episode ago, he let Gabriel go after using the archangel’s grace to heal him. When Dean found out, he reacted with an extremely volatile outburst of frustration targeted at Sam specifically, for giving away their last hope of saving their mom and Jack. That outburst was loud enough to actually make Sam wince. All of Sam’s choices this season leading up to this point have turned out so terribly wrong that it cost people’s lives.

So Sam allows Dean’s choice to overrule his own because he has lost every shred of trust in himself and his own decisions. Sam can’t let Dean down again, he can’t.

He raises the weapon back up and pulls the trigger.

Sam can’t believe what he just did. He doesn’t want to see Rowena’s corpse slump to the ground. But the outcome he was dreading did, in fact, not happen because she stopped that bullet. Sam can’t bear to see the expression on her face and hear the slight tremble in her voice.

For Rowena, the hurt cuts even deeper than before, burning more fiercely than anything she has experienced in a long time.

Nobody was supposed to be able to hurt her like this ever again. She thought she had fortified herself against it ever since that trauma all the way back with Crowley's father who broke her heart by leaving her. She'd had no idea that Sam possessed the ability to hurt her like this, that they'd somehow grown close enough for this to be possible at all. And now the hurt just won't stop, so she short-circuits and tries to make it stop in the way her old self has done over all these centuries... by lashing out at whoever is hurting her, and making sure they can never do it again.

Naturally, the way she chooses to do this is by... putting him to sleep and transporting him into her room (How even? Levitation?) where she busies herself with lighting all the candles until Sam comes back to his senses. Then she cuts into her own palm, tears his shirt open, and presses her blood onto Sam's bare chest right over his heart. You know, as you do. Completely normal way of attacking someone. Absolutely nothing to see here.

(Also note that while the whole thing did seem to hurt Sam because he groaned in pain, no mark whatsoever is left on his skin. Not a burn. Not a scratch. She made herself bleed, but not him.) Death appears, and while Rowena is claiming that what she's doing here is killing Sam Winchester, her body language is telling the exact opposite. Throughout the entire exchange, she's threatening Billie, not Sam, with the knife. The whole thing hilariously looks like she's defending Sam against Billie! Her body is in a very clear defensive pose and she's positioned exactly in front of Sam.

Even when she finally turns her attention from Billie to Sam, supposedly to make true on her threat to kill him, it's only her head that moves to look back over her shoulder, but her arm with the knife stays aimed at Billie.

That damn knife never even gets anywhere near Sam. Then it's entirely gone in the next shot, so she must have dropped it as soon as she realized there was no way in hell she would cut into Sam's skin with it.

She’s talking softly with Sam about Crowley, but she is so confused. At this point, her emotions are boiling so high she can't handle them at all any longer, so they burst out into the open in exactly the same way they did earlier when she targeted Sam's heart, but this far more violent outburst is aimed at the target that won’t take any harm.

She doesn't understand what's happening, why she can't kill Sam to make sure she's the one in control, why she can't make the hurt stop in the way she has always done in self-preservation over all these long centuries.

Billie is the one who has to put into words what has been so glaringly obvious through the whole scene to anyone other than Rowena herself. "You were never going to kill him. There was a time you would've, but not now."

That's when Rowena caves and finally admits to everyone including herself that she has no idea what to do with all these feelings, because the only way she knows how to handle them is no longer working. She doesn't even get back to her feet to defend herself when Dean bursts into the room, instead just cowering there with quiet sobs.

Sam is the one who stops Dean with a panicked-sounding warning call. Dean was in no danger whatsoever, not from Rowena and not from Billie who clearly just stated that the Winchesters were needed. So the only possible meaning I can read into Sam's call is that he's begging Dean not to shoot Rowena.

After a scene cut, Rowena is still sitting on the floor in a position very similar to the one she's been in ever since her breakdown, with Sam and Dean sitting opposite her. She has something to drink in front of her now, though. And hilariously, we see Sam reach into the fridge like he lives there to take a bottle for himself and Dean each, so I assume he's the one who handed out the drink to Rowena as well, trying to make everyone feel better.

He goes even further than that, asking both Dean and Rowena how they are feeling and getting them to talk openly. In addition to genuinely wanting to know how these people he cares about are feeling, I think what he's doing here is ensuring the waves are smoothed over enough that this will not be a repeat of the Amy Pond situation where Dean went back to kill the "monster".

Rowena asks, "Sam, what've I done?", sounding stifled and horrified like she thinks she has ruined their relationship forever, and she still hasn’t even fully stopped crying.

This is her way of both saying sorry and carefully testing out the waters of where they're standing after all of this. He gives her a look that I can seriously only describe as soft, telling her "You had a chance to kill me and you didn't. I'd call that progress."

The wording makes even more sense considering that Dean is sitting right next to them, so Sam is making a point of putting emphasis on the fact that she isn't a lost cause, that she isn’t something they have to hunt.

Then Sam goes so far as to tell her that it wasn't her fault what happened with Crowley, even though he must realize that's blatantly false and that her way of (not) parenting clearly had a strong influence on Crowley's fate. The way Sam says it with that frowny headshake and soft voice almost gives me the impression they're talking in code, and this is his veiled "I forgive you" in reply to her veiled apology from before.

This whole exchange is insanely gentle given the fact that they both just tried to kill each other. Yes, clearly neither of them wanted to kill the other, what with those tormented expressions on their faces when it happened and Sam firing only a single bullet (which was probably his loophole way of justifying to himself that he kept his word to Dean without actually getting Rowena killed.) But still, it's remarkable how soft this conversation is after the insanity of this episode.

When Dean begins one of his motivational speeches for Rowena, Sam listens quietly, knowing he has won. He has accomplished his goal of making sure Rowena is no longer on Dean's kill list. And only after that, Sam proceeds to say the most outrageous thing possible in this situation, complimenting Rowena on her deadliness and luring the first real smile out of her still tear-streaked face. And with that one seemingly crazy comment, he cements towards her that things between them are fine and that he accepts her despite her past.

(I'm in awe of Sam's emotional intelligence.)

When Rowena asks if they think she can still be redeemed, Sam waits and lets Dean go first, even though one can basically see Sam itch to get his own reassurance out. His mouth even opens! But he has to know for sure first that Dean really has no ill will towards Rowena any longer.

And because he actually trusts her and wants to show both her and Dean that he does, he nips a potential future conflict in the bud by openly telling her the truth that Lucifer is back instead of somehow hiding that fact from her. Dean comments in a way that shows clearly he thought she was going to freak out at this piece of information, but Sam just sits there with a calm face because he trusted that she would not.

Even with everything that's at stake for Sam (they need Rowena to find Gabriel to save Mary and Jack), even after the way Gabriel let him down just one episode prior and Sam's willingness to trust in the good in people has buried them in a whole pile of problems, Sam still wants the relationship between Rowena and him to be based on open trust from here on out. So he gives her the truth about Lucifer, knowing fully well how traumatic it is for both of them.

And Rowena in turn takes that offered trust and returns it to Sam in the most outrageous way possible, finding solace in the fact that he, not Lucifer, is the one prophesied to kill her. Because Rowena is the living proof that his blind faith in the good in people was never wrong, Sam is suddenly shown to have hope and self-esteem again “You changed other people’s fates, maybe we can change yours,” after he had all but abandoned any kind of it following his interactions with Gabriel and Dean in the episode before this one. (He couldn’t even get out anything but stutters when they called Rowena at the beginning of this episode and Dean had to steal the call from him, that’s how low Sam was!)

And Rowena is so touched by still being trusted and accepted despite everything that of course she agrees to help them save their family, when at the start of the episode she had still refused because she was busy trying to save hers.

I... am not okay? Help?

[rollingoverinmynonexistentgrave]

Gotta say, as much as I’m loving the new lore and everything with The Magnus Protocol, for some reason my favorite thing so far has been the new types of statements (in a sense). They’re fucking phenomenal for my attention span and it’s nice to be able to play “Guess the Entity” without each round taking the 3/4 of the whole episode loll

Anyways here’s which entity I think applies to each of the three “statements” we’ve seen.

• The email we heard first has gotta be Stranger. (It’s strangely touching to me to see the first statement of TMA and TMAGP both be stranger statements) I mean this guy’s dead husband comes back wrong as someone who doesn’t look like him but has his voice? Need I say more?

• The spelunking blog thread for the Magnus Institute has gotta be Eye aligned I mean it’s the institute loll old Jimmy’s bitch ass may possibly be dead in this timeline but goddamn if his shitty asshole aura isn’t going to stink up the place for the next century.

• I think the therapy session with the artist and her tattoo is Flesh. It gives me the same vibes as Jared’s gym with the whole self-hatred and “becoming the best you can be” via self mutilation thing