#if I’m ever not talking about how much I love Jensen ackles acting it’s not even me

[juniperhillpatient]

in order to refocus on my original writing project I’m trying to watch things that helped inspire it (it’s a ghost story with a heavy emphasis on setting including small town Americana midwestern gothic) so naturally I’m rewatching early supernatural & specifically the scarecrow episode which is one of my favorites & MAN I’m getting distracted from my supposed focus on the setting. (it’s fine my story is also about generational trauma & family & complicated sibling relationships it all fits the inspo bill.)

it’s funny because my brother & I were just ranting about Jensen ackles because my brother fell off supernatural years before I did but we basically agree early days spn had a lot of genius & im sorry but Jensen is a PHENOMENAL actor. the way he tells a story with his face here —

I’m not saying this to demerit from the fact that Jared & Jeffrey are also phenomenal actors but -

The way you can see a hundred emotions at once cross Dean’s face. The way he changes his whole demeanor & we don’t even really need to see or hear what John said to him - we got that in the conversation with Sam. It’s the difference in their reactions that’s important to the script but the sheer amount of childhood trauma Jensen packs into that performance…

it’s like you know everything you need to know about Dean Winchester’s daddy issues from that brief expression alone.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Love and Lying Pt. 1

This will fill the "How bad is it?" space on my @jacklesversebingo card. The prompt will be bolded.

Summary: Will Y/N and Jensen love each other or live in lies?

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Angst - reader. Smut. Unprotected P in V sex. Fingering. Oral (f receiving). Jensen being kind of an asshole. Also being a hero, and a rockstar, and the sexiest mofo ever.

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Y/N

Word Count: 6,230

A/N: So, this is kind of a joint request from the lovely @candy-coated-misery0731, and @envyaurora95. They saw this picture of Jensen...

(x)

...and after chatting about it, decided to very kindly ask if I could write something smutty for it. So, I have. 😊

This was supposed to be a one shot, but it will be a short two part series instead. Sorry! It got away from me, and ended up with much more plot than I was originally planning on. 😄 I'm hoping to have Part 2 up on the 23rd. The second part will also cover a square in the jacklesverse bingo - "Rumors". Hope this first part, at least, was what you were hoping for, my lovlies!

Also, the Radio Company song "Ain't No Telling" features in the story, and if you haven't listened to it, click here to do so. Definitely worth it!

A/N 2: As always, of course this is a Jensen from another part of the Multiverse, who is single. This is an absolute work of fiction.

The beautiful dividers, both below and at the bottom were created by @saradika

January

“Hey baby! I’m sorry, I know I said seven, but…” Y/N heard Jensen’s voice booming from the living room in the five star hotel suite they were staying in for the week. 

He walked into the bedroom with his phone in his hand. He was looking down at the screen and frowning; his voice was distracted.

“I was gonna text you, and then I was - “ He looked up from his phone to see Y/N sitting on the end of the bed. His smile started and then stopped as his eyes snagged on the two packed suitcases at her feet.

The room was suddenly silent, the noisy, ceaseless traffic sounds muted by their distance from the street thirty stories below them. Jensen closed his phone and slipped it into his pocket. He gave a brief nod to the suitcases.

“You’re packed and leaving.” He said, stating the obvious.

Y/N folded her hands in her lap, trying desperately to keep them from shaking. But her voice wavered as she responded. “Yes. Look, I think…I think it’s time we admit this isn’t working.”

Jensen’s face registered surprise. “Oh.” He said quietly. “Oh, you’re…you’re LEAVING - leaving. Like, for good, forever.”

Y/N felt his soft words pierce her heart. “I think…” she tried to get the words out past the lump in her throat. “I mean, you can’t tell me you think what we’re doing here is…you have to admit that this isn’t working.”

Jensen shook his head, the surprise fading from his face. In its place came the stubborn set of his chin, and the mask of nonchalance he wore when he was avoiding something. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t do that.” Y/N said, frustration seeping in. “Don’t act like I’m crazy, like I’m making things up.”

Jensen folded his arms across his chest. “Well, I can’t just pretend like I get it.”

Y/N gritted her teeth, frustrated at having to "explain" what they both knew. "I’ve hit a wall with you, Jensen, that I simply can’t get past. Can’t go over it, can’t go around it or through it. Ever since we’ve been together…this whole last year - ever since we decided to take our friendship to the next level, you’ve been keeping me at arms length. You don’t discuss things with me, not your worries or your wants. We don’t make decisions together, you won’t bring me into your life. We were so much closer when we were friends.”

She took a deep breath. “So, I think maybe we should go back to that.” She felt her stomach lurch as she made the suggestion. “Go back to being friends, I mean. I think you were happier that way.”

Jensen scoffed “Oh, was I?”

Y/N shrugged. “Weren’t you? You seemed to be. You talked to me about stuff then, seemed to value my opinion. Now, you just keep everything bottled up inside you. You don’t tell me anything, don’t share anything with me.”

Y/N stood up and walked to where Jensen was standing, anger radiating off of him. She laid her hand on his forearm. “Jensen.” She said softly, looking up into his face. He wouldn’t meet her eye. “Jensen, I love you.”

His jaw clenched and ticked, and she felt the muscles under her hand tense. She waited a moment and although she’d known she wouldn’t hear the words back - even though that had been her point in telling him one more time - the silence that greeted her still lit a burning ache in her chest. 

She stepped back, but Jensen shot his hand out to grab her wrist and keep her close. His voice was angry and exasperated. “Y/N look, do you want me to lie? Do you want me to just say the words and not have them mean anything?”

Y/N couldn’t help the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “No.” She whispered. “Of course I don’t. I want them to mean everything to you. I want you to feel the truth of them in your soul.” She shrugged and pulled her wrist out of his grasp, pretending her heart wasn’t splintering. “But that’s sort of the point - you don’t feel them, don’t mean them.”

She breathed deeply through her nose. “And that’s why I have to go. I love you but…”

“No, that’s the fucking point, Y/N.” Jensen raged as she bent to pick up her baggage. “You love me, ‘but’. That’s the whole problem. You’ll only love me on your terms, on your timetable. You love me, but you’re just gonna walk away because I won’t play along the way you want me to.”

Jensen was breathing hard, shouting now. “You can’t just force me into whoever you want me to be, can’t just mold me and -”

“Jensen.” Y/N cut him off with a soft, gentle voice. She stood with her bags in hand and shook her head at him, sadness overwhelming her. “Jensen, I’m not her. I’m not trying to mold you into something you’re not. I’m not trying to change you - don’t wanna change you. But…” 

Y/N took in another long, wavering breath and finished her earlier thought. “I love you, but I won’t be in love alone.” She shrugged. “It’s too lonely.”

She reached up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, but he pulled away from her, and his eyes burned holes into her, the bright green was beautiful, but as hard as jade. “Just go then. Don’t bother with the platitudes. Dunno why you even bothered to stick around for good-bye.”

He spun on his heel and slammed out of the suite. Y/N couldn’t help dropping her bags to the ground and sinking back down onto the foot of the bed. Her stomach plummeted in disappointment once again, and as tears fell steadily down her cheeks, she was able to finally admit to herself that she’d been desperately hoping that he’d tell her to stay. It was probably stupid, but she’d hoped the threat of losing her for good would make him open up and let her in.

But it hadn’t. He wanted her gone. He’d much rather lose her than love her. For a wild moment she contemplated staying, trying to love enough for the both of them. But she knew that was impossible. She contemplated spending another year like the last, always doubting, feeling like she was so close to reaching him, just to have him pull away - just to watch him fall back into his charming ways, all smiles and quick jokes, and no real connection.

It was impossible, and it would only make it that much harder to leave later. So, she picked up her bags and said another silent goodbye to the man who’d hold her heart forever. 

“Be happy.” She whispered to the ghosts she left behind.

April

The bar was crowded and noisy; twenty years ago it would have been smoky too. The people inside were slightly rowdy, and ready for a good show. 

Y/N felt slightly overdressed in her little black dress. A few women wore something similar, but most women were just in short skirts and tube tops. The vast majority of guys were in t-shirts and jeans.

She sighed. Yep, overdressed.

She perked up slightly as she approached the table her friends were sitting at and saw Briana stand up to hug her, with Kim close behind. Kim wore a fancy top and sleek, shiny pants, and Briana’s dress was tight and black as well. They both looked gorgeous and Y/N was glad that at least she fit in a bit more with her own group. 

They were all here to watch Louden Swain perform their set, and Y/N was very excited. She loved the band so much; they were all such sweethearts, and she always had so much fun hanging out with the group. It had been too long.

As she gave both Kim and Briana a hug she was smiling wide, a smile that died quickly as she glanced towards the door and saw Jensen striding towards them.

“What the fuck?” Y/N whispered.

Briana looked over her shoulder and then turned back to stare worriedly at Y/N. “He’s…I mean, he’s probably just here to support the band, you know.”

As Briana finished talking, Jensen walked up to where Rob was standing beside the stage and pulled the smaller man into a tight hug. The two spoke close together, straining to hear each other over the music blaring from the loudspeakers. Finally Jensen pounded his friend on the back and turned towards the table Rob pointed at, where all his other friends were sitting.

He froze as he saw Y/N watching him over Briana’s shoulder. There was a very long pause where no one moved or said anything. It was finally Briana who broke it. She pushed Y/N towards Kim who scooted her over to the other end of the long table they sat at, while Briana walked briskly up to Jensen. 

She gave him a warm hug and said something into his ear. Y/N figured she was probably telling him the same thing she told her. They were here to support the band, and that was all. The table was big, and the bar was incredibly noisy.

There would be no need for them to interact.

But Y/N’s night was effectively ruined. She smiled at everyone and bopped along with the band as they performed. But her mind simply wasn’t there, it was ten feet down the table where Jensen sat between Rich and a blonde woman she didn’t recognize.

Y/N tried not to stare, but she couldn’t help but notice that the woman was beautiful…and that she kept touching Jensen. She laughed uproariously at everything he said, and she just kept putting her hands on him - touching his bicep to get his attention, or putting both her hands on his while she was laughing, her head bent towards his. 

Jensen seemed to be enjoying the company. He was talking with her and smiling, and he did nothing to discourage the touching.

As the band finished one song and were switching around some guitars for the next, Y/N leaned over to Briana. 

“Who’s the woman beside…Jason?” She asked, swapping out Jensen’s name with Jason’s at the last minute. But Briana saw through that anyway and gave her a sympathetic look. 

“I think her name is Tara. From what I know, she’s an old friend of Jason’s. But I’m not sure how they know each other. He’s brought her to a couple get togethers.” Briana shrugged. “She seems nice enough.”

Y/N nodded. “Oh. Cool.” She said quietly just as the band struck up the next song. She hadn’t thought her evening could get worse, and yet it had. And the worst was yet to come.

At the end of the song, Rob held a hand out towards their table. “I wanna give a big thanks to my cheering section over here.” The band clapped and the rest of the bar joined in. 

Rob’s smile was huge as he pointed a finger at Jensen. “Now, I need a little more help, onstage this time, and if we all cheer really loudly, we may just guilt my good friend, Mr. Jensen Ackles into joining us on stage!”

Rob finished with a yell as the bar exploded into cheers. Jensen was waving his hands and shaking his head, but the people around him were pushing him, quite literally to get up on the stage. Tara was pushing the hardest, shoving on his broad shoulder and then clapping excitedly when he got up.

Y/N felt her stomach twist in knots. This was too much.

Finally Jensen was cajoled, and physically forced onto the stage. He was smiling, but Y/N could tell he was nervous by the way he rubbed his hands together and then shoved them in his pockets. He bent slightly as Rob reached up to yell in his ear. Jensen seemed to think something over and then shrugged and nodded. 

Rob walked back to the microphone and lifted his hand and everyone quieted down to hear him. “Okay, so we always drag Jensen onstage to sing a song the band knows well, but we’ve all been practicing, and we really wanna do a Radio Company song with Jensen this time.”

Everyone clapped and cheered some more as Rob called out. “I’ll do my best to impersonate Steve.” He said with a laugh. “Okay, one of the songs we know well, and is primarily Jensen singing, is the song, ‘Ain’t No Telling’. And the man himself has agreed to sing it for us!”

There was more applauding as Jensen moved into position behind the lead microphone, and Rob moved into position a bit behind him, adjusting the mic stand there so that he could sing harmony. Mike started playing the soft piano that began the ballad, and the bar quieted down, ready to listen to Jensen’s angelic voice. 

Y/N, however, was panicking slightly, sure she'd never be able to take this. But I can't possibly get up and run out of here now. She thought desperately. It would be so obvious and make me look pathetic and weak. 

So she tried to brace herself, but still felt chills run down her spine as Jensen’s slightly raspy vocals filled the room.

Oh, the fact is Cold but true love Ain't no tellin' Who I am One day sweetness Next day laughter Followed by the anger Coming up from within Who are you holding onto now? Who are you holding onto now? When you need it And you know that I'm a little far away Ain't no tellin' no Where the hell I am Just believe in Every time When we feel it again Tell me, who are you holding onto now? Oh, who are you holding onto now?

Though Jensen didn’t look her direction during the entire song, she still felt like he was singing every line straight to her. 

He was so achingly beautiful, and so painfully, effortlessly sexy, it made Y/N's body thrum with want.

His hair had grown a bit longer in the four months since she'd seen him last, and it suited him very well. The honey and cinnamon colored waves fell forward over his forehead as he looked down at the stage, throwing shadows across his face. His eyes were closed, but even from ten feet away she could see the way his eyelashes brushed the tops of his cheeks. His soft, silky looking beard did a beautiful job of perfectly framing his luscious mouth. Y/N tried not to moan aloud as she remembered the perfect slide of those lips across her skin.

Everything about him - his voice, his eyes, his lips, his hands - even his rolled up sleeves that showed off his muscular, freckled forearms - it all made her ache terribly.

The song's lyrics made Y/N’s heart race fast, and crack into a million pieces at the same time. She looked towards Tara, who was staring raptly and adoringly at Jensen, and swallowed harshly, throwing the song's question back at him.

Who are you holding onto now?

As the song slowed to its conclusion and the bar went crazy, shouting and cheering, Y/N put a hand on Briana’s forearm and shot her a quick smile. “Be right back.” She said, nodding towards the restrooms in the back of the bar. She hated Briana’s look of pity and understanding. Y/N wanted to be nonchalant and cool about everything, but the wounds of Jensen’s absence were too fresh.

She stayed in the bathroom for nearly ten minutes just willing herself not to cry. She couldn’t go back out there with puffy eyes, on top of everything else. 

When she felt slightly less prone to bursting into tears, she washed her hands, took a deep breath, and faked a smile. 

The men and women’s washrooms were both down a long hallway, with the women’s at the very end. Just as she walked out, there was a guy walking out of the men’s room and wiping his hands on his jeans. He was medium height, with brown hair that was slicked back, and watery blue eyes that were slightly bloodshot. He wore jeans and a dark blue work shirt with a patch embroidered on the chest that said his name was “Bert.” 

He noticed Y/N and he smiled a greasy smile, the kind of smile guys wore when they hit on her, and were sure they were irresistible. Y/N gave a wan kind of smile in return, and tried to walk past him, but he moved to block the narrow hallway. 

“What’s your rush, cutie? Stay and chat awhile.” He said with another too-toothy smile.

Y/N’s smile faded and she shook her head at him. “Sorry. Not a big fan of chatting outside a bathroom.” She moved to the side again to show she wanted to walk around him, but he didn’t budge, and if she wanted to get past, she’d have to get physical - something she was desperately hoping to avoid.

But Bert didn’t seem to like her smart alec answer, and his eyes got colder by a degree. “Well, we don’t have to stay here, beautiful. Let me buy you a drink, and then,” he stepped closer to her and she gagged slightly at the cloud of body spray that surrounded him, “then let me take you back to my place, and show you the best night you ever had.”

Y/N wasn’t sure what direction to take - play along so maybe he’d move, and she could take off when they were out of the hallway, or just tell him to go fuck himself. If she played along she ran the risk of making him really pissed when she took off after, but she also ran the risk of pissing him off immediately if she just told him to get lost. 

Rather spontaneously, she simply decided she had no patience left in her for this asshole. 

“Absolutely not.” She told him firmly. “I have no interest in your offer. Now, please get out of my way and let me out of this hallway.”

As though she hadn’t even spoken, he moved closer, pushing her back a step. “You’re gonna love it baby, I promise.”

Y/N felt her stomach clench in fear and was just getting ready to stomp on his toes, or knee him in the nuts, or both, when she heard a familiar voice speak from behind Bert.

“Stop crowding the lady, asshole, and let her pass.”

Y/N felt relief flow through her as she looked down the hallway and saw Jensen standing just inside the entrance. 

Bert looked over his shoulder and lifted his chin in a dismissive gesture towards Jensen. “Nobody’s talkin’ to you, jackass. Just keep movin’.”

Jensen shook his head even though Bert was back to ogling Y/N, and wasn’t looking. “That’s not gonna happen. I’m only gonna warn you once.” He walked down the hall towards them. “Give it up, walk away, and your nose can stay unbroken.” Jensen issued the warning in a conversational tone. 

Finally Bert turned around to face him properly. Jensen’s size seemed to make him hesitate for a moment. Jensen had a good three or four inches on him, as well as about thirty pounds of muscle. But Bert's bravado and ego got the better of him.

“Bring it on, fucker, I’ve dealt with guys like you before. Think you’re Mr. Hotshot, but your nothin’ special. I could take you in my sleep.”

Jensen stared at him, two dimples showing up just above his top lip as he scowled, annoyance etched into his features as though Bert was a particularly bothersome fly he couldn’t swat. He shook his head and reached past him, holding his hand out for Y/N to take. “Come on, sweetheart.”

Y/N reached for him instantly, but Bert made the very huge mistake of slapping her hand away from Jensen’s. Y/N gasped, more from shock than pain, but she was looking at Jensen and saw his expression turn from annoyed to enraged. In the blink of an eye, his right fist came up to slam into Bert's face; a sickening crack sounded as his nose shattered and he fell to the floor.

Jensen reached over Bert’s prone figure and offered his hand to Y/N once again. She took it and he helped her step over the loudly moaning man. They walked away and were just barely out of the hallway, when they heard Bert rising up and bellowing in fury. They turned around in time to see Bert whipping down the hallway towards where they were now standing in the back part of the bar.

Jensen had just enough time to push Y/N out of the way before Bert was tackling him into an empty table and chairs. The two men crashed through it, splintering the wood and falling into the debris. Bert got in one good punch before Jensen rolled him over and began pummeling his face and body. Half a dozen punches later, the bouncers showed up to pull them apart.

There was a lot of confusion and yelling, and Y/N just stood with her hands over her mouth, stunned speechless. Soon, all their friends were in the back with them trying to make sense of what had happened. Thankfully, they sorted it out pretty quickly. One of the bartenders had seen Bert tackle Jensen, so the smaller man was just tossed out of the bar with a warning not to come back, or police would be involved. 

Eventually their friends began to filter back to the table, and the staff back to their jobs. But Tara stayed, cooing over Jensen’s purpling cheek and split bottom lip, coaxing him to come back to her hotel room so she could fix him up.

Y/N felt her stomach turn and her exhausted brain decided that she’d taken all she possibly could for one evening. She smiled at Jensen as he stood beside Tara while she ran her hands over his knuckles and tutted at their scrapes.

“Thank you.” She said simply. Her extreme gratitude for his rescue couldn’t really be summed up with two simple words, but that was all she could get out without bursting into tears. 

“Course.” Jensen said stiffly. He looked like he had more to say, but Y/N just smiled again and ducked past them quickly, admitting to herself that she was definitely running away.

***

Hours later, Y/N was sitting slumped on her couch, still dressed in her little black dress, heels kicked off under her coffee table, and an almost empty glass of wine in her hand. It was her second one, and she was just beginning to feel the pleasant fuzziness at the edges of her consciousness, when she heard a sharp knock at her door. 

Looking at her phone, she saw it was past one in the morning, and no one had texted her to say they were coming over. She sat up, but didn't move to the door until the knock came again.

She snuck up to the door quietly and peered out of the peephole. She let out a fairly loud squeal of surprise when she saw Jensen on the other side. She saw him look up at the door and knew he'd heard her. With no other choice if she wanted to try and maintain her “just fine” facade when it came to him, she turned the deadbolt and opened the door.

There was a full ten seconds of awkward silence as they stood just staring at each other. It may have only been seconds but it felt endless. Finally Y/N broke it.

“Hey.”

Jensen nodded and gave a fleeting smile. “Hey.”

Another awkward silence. 

Then Jensen shook his head. “Sorry, I just…uh…you left pretty fast, and…and I just wanted to make sure you were good. You know, from the…just with everything.”

Y/N smiled back, her smile equally brief and unnatural. “Yeah, oh yeah.” She waved dismissively. “Yeah, he was mostly just a douche, you know.”

Jensen nodded, and a beat passed before Y/N frowned and asked, “How about you?” She pointed at his split lip and bruised cheek. “How bad is it?”

He lightly brushed his forefinger against his lip, rubbing the cut there, and then shrugged. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Guy punched like a…well, like a douchebag, I guess.” He smiled again and it was slightly closer to his real smile.

Y/N nodded and was desperately trying to figure out her next move when Jensen pointed around her into her apartment. “Uh, do you mind…can I…?”

Y/N panicked slightly at the idea of letting Jensen in, but she moved back and ushered him inside “Yeah, sure.” He closed the door behind him, and now they stood awkwardly inside her apartment instead of outside. Desperate to break the torturous silence, Y/N pointed toward her kitchen. 

“Can I get you a drink, or something?”

But Jensen just shook his head. “N’ah, I’m good.”

So Y/N’s escape plan into the kitchen was thwarted. After a moment Jensen waved his hand around to indicate her apartment. “This is…new…nice.”

Y/N nodded, starting to feel like a bobblehead doll. “Yeah, I like it.” She frowned as a thought occurred to her. “How did you know where to find me?”

Jensen looked slightly guilty. “I bugged Briana til she told me.”

“Ah.” Y/N said. “That would do it.”

A spasm of a smile crossed Jensen’s face and then he opened his mouth and started to say something, but then quickly closed it. He looked a little wildly around the room as though he might find the words he sought, written on the walls.

Finally, he exhaled loudly and spun around towards the door. “K, well, I’m glad you’re good.” He said with another careless smile thrown back over his shoulder. “See ya.”

And just like that, he was gone again. 

Y/N stood in the middle of her living room, completely at sea. “What the hell was that?” She whispered out loud to herself.

She stood in the same spot for almost five minutes trying to puzzle it out, before another sharp, loud knock came to the door. Without looking through the peephole this time, she just pulled the door open and wasn’t the least surprised this time to see Jensen standing on the other side.

Bewildered, yes. Surprised, no.

“Jensen,” she said with a confused shake of her head, “what on earth ar-”

She gasped as he cut her off by grabbing the back of her head in his big hand and pulling her into his embrace. His mouth crashed down on hers, the kiss desperate and slightly brutal. Y/N moaned deeply as he thrust his tongue past her lips to ravage her mouth, moving his two hands so that they gripped her cheeks and held her in place as he pillaged her tongue, sucking it into his mouth, and licking deeply into hers.

He shifted his lips on hers, and Y/N took the moment to try and come to her senses. She pushed at his forearms and wrenched her head away from him. 

“What…” Her voice was completely breathless and high-pitched. She tried to lower it. “What the hell are you doing?”

She tried to step away from him, but he grabbed hold of her upper arms and held her there. “Please, Y/N, I just…fuck I miss you.”

Y/N shivered at the dark desire in his mossy green eyes and deep, rough voice, but she shook her head. “Jensen…we can’t just…” She floundered for words, trying desperately to remain sensible. This was madness!

“I know.” Jensen said, dropping his forehead to hers. “I know, and I know I’m an asshole for coming here, but…”

Y/N could see, close up, his jaw clenching and the muscle twitching there, and it made her lower belly clench. 

“But,” Jensen continued, “when I saw you there tonight, in this sexy little black dress…jesus fuck.” He moved his hands from her arms to grip her waist, bunching up the soft, clingy material of her dress in his big fists. “All I wanted to do was rip it off you.”

Y/N was breathing heavily, as though she’d run a mile. A whine entered her voice, as she tried to plead with herself more than him. “We can’t do this…it’s not…” His lips just grazed hers, and his soft, minty breath drifted across them. 

“Tell me to go.” He whispered roughly. “Say the word - I’ll go.” 

They stayed frozen together like that for quite a few rapid heartbeats before Y/N finally shook her head, conceding defeat, and acknowledging she never had any hope of victory.

“No. Don’t.” She bit her lip and then looked deeply into his eyes for the first time in a long time. “Don’t go.”

Jensen slammed the door shut with his foot, and only then did Y/N realize it was still open. Jensen had been her only focus since he’d charged through it. He grabbed her head in his hands again and kissed her deeply, still rough and desperate. He walked her backwards until they hit her bookshelves, knocking down a few paperbacks. 

Jensen pulled away from her mouth only to dip his head beneath her jaw. He nibbled at the extremely soft skin there, before running his tongue down her neck and across her shoulder, pulling the straps of her dress out of his way so he could bare her shoulder and suck bruises and leave teeth marks across her skin.

Y/N desperately shoved his black button up off of his shoulders and yanked his t-shirt over his head. Her hands were trembling, and it felt as though her entire body was shaking in anticipation. When she finally got her hands on his bare skin, she rubbed them down over his ribcage, and then up under his arms and around to his back. She dug her nails into the taut muscles there and Jensen growled out a moan. 

Suddenly he pulled back from her and spun her around. She grabbed hold of the shelves in front of her as she felt Jensen’s hands grip the top of her dress. Without even attempting the zipper, he ripped it apart with a grunt, tearing the dress in half. 

Y/N wanted to protest him ruining her dress, but she lost all coherent thought as he reached over her shoulder and shoved his hand down the front of her dress. His nimble fingers freed the front clasp of her bra quickly, and he wrapped his massive hand around her breast, squeezing her almost too hard. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and the puckered bud began to ache for more.

His mouth didn’t leave her body as he pressed her against the shelves. He trailed his lips down her neck and then down her back, pushing the two sides of her dress off of her completely. He pulled her bra off too, and tossed it aside. Left in only her black, silky thong, she heard Jensen moan deeply and then felt him step back from her slightly.

When she looked over her shoulder, she felt her slick begin to drip down her thighs at the look of ravenous need on Jensen’s face. She could see the way he bulged out his black jeans and she couldn’t restrain a whimper.

She turned towards him and then fell to her knees. She reached for his zipper, but Jensen grabbed her hands. 

“No baby, I can’t. You touch me right now and I’m gonna explode.” He pulled her back to standing and then grabbed the backs of her thighs, lifting her so she could wrap her legs around his hips. “And I need to fuck you, need to sink so deep into you.”

He spoke deliciously into her ear as he carried her down her only hallway towards what he must have correctly assumed was her bedroom. He kissed her as he carried her to the bed. Then he leaned down to place her gently on the mattress. She let go of him long enough for him to shuck his jeans and underwear, her mouth watering at the delicious sight of his leaking, red-tipped cock. 

Fuck he was beautiful. 

He crawled onto the bed and then between her legs. She tried to wrap her legs around him again, but he easily pushed them open. He stared down at her pussy and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

“Missed this pretty little pussy so much.” Jensen said as he laid his palm over her mound, fingers pointing towards her belly button, and then dipped his wide thumb into her folds to find her clit. The rough pad of his thumb circled it and soon had Y/N writhing, her hips bucking. Then he twisted his hand so that his thumb kept swirling around the hard little nub, but now his fingers could slide through her slick and then thrust deep and hard into her quivering body. 

Y/N screamed as he pressed against her g-spot making her come instantly. Her body shook as he continued to fuck her slowly with his fingers before sinking onto his stomach and letting his tongue take over. He flicked it back and forth against her and made her nearly convulse with pleasure. She came again, on his tongue, gripping his long hair, and using it to keep his mouth pressed against her. 

But he had no intention of moving any time soon, and kept her coming over and over. “Missed those sounds.” He said as Y/N shuddered and groaned and whimpered. “Say my name, darlin', I missed that too.”

Y/N grunted and then groaned as he slammed his three fingers into her particularly deep. “Fuck Jensen, oh fuck! Yes!” 

He smiled against her dripping pussy and pressed his fingers against her g-spot again, ripping another blistering orgasm out of her. “Perfect.” He praised.

Her throat was raw from crying out her pleasure before Jensen finally moved up her body to lay over top of her. He pushed her messy hair away from her forehead and kissed her, featherlight, across her cheeks. He smiled softly at her now, as she looked up at him, her expression thoroughly blissed out and her eyes hazy. 

“Missed your face like this. So beautiful, so completely open.” After a moment of watching Jensen watch her, Y/N’s mind cleared enough to register that his brow was crinkled in what looked like worry or fear. But before she could wonder about it for too long, he leaned down to press his lips ever so gently against hers. 

As he kissed her, he easily slid his thick cock into her body. She clenched around him and he buried his face in her neck as he spoke, muffled, against her skin. 

“And ungh, fuck! I missed this feeling. So tight and warm, so…so fucking perfect. Like…” He pulled out and slid back into her, moving incredibly slowly, savoring every inch. “Feels like - ungh!” 

He growled as her cunt squeezed around him again, and he lost all ability to speak, becoming wild and a little brutal as he rutted into her, ramming harshly into her tight, wet, heat over and over, until he was lifting her of the bed with every thrust and Y/N was screaming and clawing his back, shoving her heels into his ass, pushing him deeper still. Finally, he exploded with a shout through gritted teeth, and as she climaxed one more time, she felt the familiar, warm feeling of his cum shooting deep inside her and filling her up. 

They laid together, panting, for a long time. Everything felt surreal as Y/N began to float back to earth. It felt like she was in a very vivid dream. Eventually, Jensen rolled off of her and she moved onto her side so she could look at him. She opened her mouth to say something, to try and make sense of what had just happened between them, but Jensen put a finger to her lips and shook his head.

“Please, baby,” he said, exhaustion lacing his voice, “tomorrow, okay?”

He opened his arms, inviting Y/N to move into his embrace, and she did. She snuggled against him and pushed the questions out of her mind. Tomorrow would be soon enough to tackle some answers.

Yeah, tomorrow, she thought as she drifted off.

But when she woke in the morning, Jensen was gone. 

No note, no text, no explanation. If it wasn’t for the bruises and bites he’d left on her skin, she might have thought he was just a dream in the night, just a figment of her imagination. But he'd been there, and now he was just gone, taking all of her answers and another slice of her heart along with him.

Part 2

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu @jackles010378

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous @k-slla

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 28

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. Please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of violence, rape, therapy, depression

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

My new-found insomnia has me up before dawn, so I pull out my phone and start researching affordable therapists in New York City. Unsurprisingly, their idea of “affordable” doesn’t meet mine. I very briefly consider asking Jensen to help, but I dismiss the thought just as fast. I refuse to rely on him for that, this is for me and I’ll find a way to fund it myself. So, instead, I start going over my bank account, considering my income and bills and calculating what’s left over. With the extra manager paycheck from the cafe and my measly salary from Broadway, it seems just about doable. While I’m now confident that I can do it, I also know it will eat into the tiny fund I had started to amass for Summer in Texas. I sigh and decide to put my mental health first; I choose one of the cheapest, yet still good-sounding therapists and book an appointment for later in the week. The only time available is during one of my acting classes, but I accept that this has to come first. So, feeling a slight sense of accomplishment for taking this massive step, I shut off my phone and try to go back to sleep, even for just a short nap. 

I shut my eyes and curl into the blanket, but when I open them again and check the clock, only 15 minutes have passed. I accept that I won’t be getting anymore sleep. I turn my phone back on and text Jensen.

Hey, hope this doesn’t wake you…I couldn’t sleep, but I just wanted to let you know that I booked an appointment with a therapist. You’re right, I need help to get through this, and if I ever want anything between us to be possible. And I also wanted to say thanks again for tonight.And I’d appreciate your support while I continue working through it all. Not financially, I can cover it, just you know…mentally.

I reread the texts a few times. I wait a few minutes, but when I don’t get a response I relax. As much as I’d love to talk to him, I’m glad I didn’t wake him up. I get up and tidy up the couch so it’s usable again and then go into the kitchen and try to earn my keep by making everyone breakfast. As quietly as possible, I pull out everything I need to make pancakes and bacon. I serve up four plates and make coffee to go with them, I just finish off everything as Stella and Nick come down stairs. Nick gives the set up a once over before giving me the nod of approval.

“Thanks, Y/N. I don’t often get breakfast cooked for me.”

“You’re welcome. It’s really the least I can do after everything you guys have done for me, all time but especially recently. I just want you to know that I appreciate it.”

Stella pulls me in for a big hug. “You didn’t need to do anything. You’re family ‘sides, you’ve been through a lot.”

The three of us dig in and then Anna comes down and joins us a little later. Over breakfast, I tell them about the therapy appointment I booked and create a plan for Nick to pick me up from the theatre every night and drive me either home or to their place at least until the new security guard starts at the apartment. Anna understandably gets a little upset and feels guilty and while we do our best to tell her we don’t blame her at all, I can tell she doesn’t quite accept it. 

Once Nick goes up to get in another nap and Stella goes to work, Anna and I clean up the kitchen. I use the opportunity to talk to her about it all. I tell her what I’ve been going through with the fear and the nightmares and she starts to open up a little more too. She tells me about how he was sweet in the beginning, how he used to take her out on dates around the city but then she said as they realised how expensive the city was he started to change. She tells me that he would control her spending. He talked her out of taking classes because they needed her money for the rent and groceries. And he stopped taking her out or letting her go out because it cost too much, but he would still go out every other night, only to stumble back late smelling like a liquor store had exploded on him. When she questioned him about it, that’s when the physical abuse began. Then when she struggled to find a job and her money started running out, it just got worse. He blamed her whenever their cards declined at the store and when he had to start paying rent. He then told her she’d have to earn her place in his apartment by other means, and if she tried to say no, well, it just wasn’t an option. 

Once she finishes talking we’re both in tears and the dishes have been long forgotten. I hold out my arms to offer a hug, but wait for her to come to me. When she doesn’t, I nod. We finish the dishes in heavy silence and then sit on the couch together. She flicks through the channels aimlessly, likely trying to distract herself, while I attempt to work on an assignment. After a while my phone buzzes on the couch beside us. She stiffens briefly then looks down and reads the name and relaxes.

“It’s your actor friend…” she says. 

I nod. “Yeah. I can call him back later though if you need me.”

“Thanks. I’m okay though.” Then after a beat she adds, “Is he nice, like Nick?”

I nod. “Yeah. He is,” I reply without a second thought. Then I answer the call without getting up. “Hey Jens.”

“Hey, Darlin’. I’m proud of you. And of course I’ll be your support! Whatever you need, I’m here. As long as it takes.”

“Thanks.” I look over at Anna briefly and then add, “Hey Jens, can you promise me that you’re one of the good ones?”

“I could but you shouldn’t believe me. I want to do my best but you’re the one who’s been through it before. All I can promise is that if I ever make you uncomfortable, I’ll do my best to make it better. As long as you tell me your boundaries, I’ll do my best not to cross them.”

Anna looks over and I can tell she heard him in the quiet of the room. I smile at her and nod. And she quietly asks, “does he have any single friends?”

He hears her and says, “Am I on speaker?”

“Not exactly, but it is quiet here.”

“That’s okay. Well, that was Anna, right? If you can hear me now…” I put the phone on speaker for her. “I do, but you’ll find the right guy on your own when you’re ready and when the time is right. You never know when the right one will come into your life and spill a coffee on you.” 

Anna looks at me, “He spilled coffee on you?”

I shake my head, “I spilled one on him.”

She laughs and it’s beautiful. And then Jensen joins in with a sarcastic scoff, “I’m glad you girls find my pain amusing…”

Looking back at Anna, I give her a small smile. “He’s right though. When the time is right and when you’re ready you will find Mr Right.”

Jensen adds, “And even if you’re not quite ready, the right guy will understand and wait for you and support you until you are.”

I almost blurt out three little words that would potentially change everything, but I stop myself because I know he wouldn’t hear them for how I mean them, plus when I do say them, I want them to mean the same to both of us. 

Anna moves to get up, “I’ll uh, let you guys talk.”

I gently place my hand on her arm. “It’s okay, you can stay.”

“Yeah, Anna, don’t go,” Jensen pipes up. “I can’t talk long anyway, they’re gonna call me for hair and makeup soon. I just wanted to check in.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Have fun on set, Winchester.”

“You ladies have a wonderful afternoon too. I’ll call you tonight, Darlin’”

“Alright, talk later.”

Anna sheepishly says, “Bye, Jensen. Thanks.”

“Anytime.” He hangs up and she relaxes back into the couch. 

“He’s nice.” 

“Yeah, he is.”

Anna puts some afternoon TV talk shows on and I go back to my assignment until an hour before I have to go to the theatre. Nick comes downstairs and throws together an early dinner for the three of us. While he cooks, I quickly shower and borrow another outfit off Stella, knowing she won’t mind. After we eat, Nick drives me to the theatre on his way to work. He points out exactly where he’ll be waiting to pick me up. 

I go inside and straight into the dressing room to change into my costume and start doing my hair and makeup. Just as I’m almost done the stage manager comes up behind me.

“Get changed, you’re stepping in as Sandy for the first act tonight and possibly the second if Mary doesn’t show up.”

“What?” I say in shock.

“Did I stutter?” I shake my head. “I didn’t think so.” I look over at Alyssa and she shrugs. It takes me a few minutes to compute what’s happening. Aly grabs the other costume and then drags me out of the chair. 

“Come on, this is the dream! Get changed! I’ll help with your hair and makeup after.”

Finally coming to my senses a little with Aly’s help I quickly change costumes and let her redo my hair and makeup for Sandy. As more of the cast fills in, we find out that the Mary had a last minute family emergency and that no one has seen the other understudy since the live shows started. As Aly’s helping me get ready I run over the lines, trying to stay as calm as possible. Once I’m ready we have 15 minutes to curtains. I quickly call Jensen hoping he picks up. I give it four rings before he answers.

“Hey Darl, what’s up? You okay? I’m on set, I can’t really talk right n-”

“No! I’m going on stage in 15 as the lead! I can’t do it!”

“Okay, Okay. Yes you can! Take a breath for me. You’re gonna knock this out of the park. You’ve been working hard for this. You’re gonna be an amazing, Sandy! Just focus on your lines, play off your co-star who’s been doing this longer and show off those amazing skills of yours. You’re gonna do amazing, I just wish I could be there to see it.”

“Thanks, Jens.”

“I’m so sorry, but I really have to go, but you’re gonna be so good! You got this!” He hangs up and I run back into the dressing room. I dump my phone on the bench and run up the stairs just in time for the first call. 

Jake, the actor that plays Danny takes my hand. “I wish we had more time to rehearse together, but as long as you remember the lines and follow my lead we can get through tonight.”

I nod. We switch on our mics and take our place on stage just before the curtains rise. I get one look at the massive crowd looking at just us and freeze. But Jake goes smoothly into character, makes me look at him and I do as Jensen said, let him lead me. I play off each of his lines to remember my place and lines. I’m sure everyone can see my nerves still and I feel bad that they’re not getting the best possible rendition. But I also try to let myself enjoy the experience.

Much to our dismay, Mary is still a no-show by the end of the intermission, so I go back on as Sandy. My nerves are fried by the time the curtains fall after our final bow. I’m a hair away from bursting into tears, but I pull myself together just long enough to get changed and clean off the make-up. Aly gives me a reassuring hug and assures me that I was great, but it’s hard to believe it. The only thought going through my mind is that I’m glad it’s over and I hope Mary is back from whatever the emergency was in time for tomorrow night’s show. On shaky feet, I make my way out to the parking lot to meet Nick.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala

@lmg14, @superrey, @kamisobsessed

[rubyvhs]

part one, ignore ignore ignore [jensen ackles]

series masterlist | main masterlist

one, 

I don’t waste any time running into my best friend’s arms and because I’ve been on the set so much, it doesn't faze anyone, not even when i’m interrupting a scene (though i try not to do that often).

"Hey, Lils, what're you doing here? Thought you had an audition?" I did, but it hadn't gone well so i decided against staying at home, instead coming to see Jared.

"Yeah, but i wanted to see you. It ended early anyways." I’m sure he saw through my white lie, gladly he decided against pushing since we’re still around people. Greeting Misha and Gen with hugs and soft ‘how are you’s warms my heart as much as anything.

Now where's Jensen, is my first thought as i lean closer to the small group, listening to whatever they were talking about, enjoying some of Misha’s salad. I usually try to keep my distance from the older actor only because he makes me nervous and I don’t know how to properly act around him. Much less now that I don’t hang out with Danneel either.

It’s been years since we’ve met but i still can't seem to get over my crush on him. I always have some stupid excuse to not be in a room he's in, i’ve hardly been in a room alone with him the whole five years, unless we were with Danneel, though he hardly talked then, opting to stay on his phone.

Jared checks his phone which just pinged; "Jensen's done with Bob, my turn." Gen groans, holding onto her boyfriend a little tighter. It makes me smile, seeing them so in love when i know how hard last year was on Jared. He never thought he'd find someone like Gen in his life but he did. And one year later they're still the strongest relationship i have ever seen.

"Where’s my lunch?" That’s a voice i can recognize anywhere and it makes me freeze. Now where on earth does Jared think he's going? And Gen hanging on his arm too? Yeah, no way am I staying here alone.

"Here." Misha holds up a plastic bag and Jensen quickly snatched it, sitting where Jared was just a second ago, next to me. "Don’t thank me or anything." He rolls his eyes and Jensen starts opening up his burrito.

"I need to get back to work, bye guys." No one is even fazed as i throw a random 'bye' to whoever will catch it, walking back to my car.

+

"I need to know what i did to her, man." Jensen says, mouth full with the insanely incredible food that Misha got him. He could really kiss the man right now.

"I’m sure it's nothing, she's not used to you is all." If he wasn't so busy stuffing his mouth he would've scoffed and hit his friend on the head. 

"She’s known you for one year and you're already friends," he swallows, putting down the food, "i've known her for what? five years? she used to come over all the time and i don't even have her number, i don't know how that's possible." 

"She isn't in the cast, that's normal. Maybe you just don't initiate conversation."

"Yeah, cause she looks like she wants to bang my head in every time i see her, she's not exactly the 'let's talk' type." Misha wanted to tell jensen that he was being stupid but the truth is, he's right. Laila’s been very obviously ignoring Jen for the whole year he's been here to witness, never mind the four before that. Laila and Misha are close, but he wouldn't say close enough to bring it up to her, maybe he'll tell Jared. It does seem to be affecting Jensen, so it needs to be dealt with.

Or maybe it was better left alone.

part two

[winchesterwild78]

Chance Meeting pt 5

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

18+ Minors DO NOT interact

This is my first ever fan fiction. I adore Jensen Ackles and have no hate towards his family. In this he’s single. I’m not sure exactly how to do this so any suggestions or feedback is appreciated. Please be kind and all mistakes are my own. All work is mine. Please don’t copy it.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, Jensen being a sweetheart

Chapter Warnings: implied teen pregnancy, Jensen being a sweetheart, plus sized reader body issues, Things continue to heat up

A/N: I’m working hard on making sure the chapters get done quickly. I don’t want to leave you hanging for too long. If you have any suggestions please let me know. Reader is older-not trying to alienate anyone, but I wanted the reader close to Jensen’s age and with children. This will make more sense in later chapters.

———————————————————————

As you opened your room door you looked at your phone. 6 missed calls from y/f/n and 10 texts. “Oh great, I forgot to call her back last night.” You immediately called her back and as soon as she answered the phone you quickly said “Oh my god, y/f/n I am so sorry I forgot to call you. I was incredibly busy and it slipped my mind.” “Well y/n it better have been a good reason. I’ve been worried sick.” She said. “Did you end up going to karaoke?” “Yes I did, and I sang a song with Jensen. His voice is even more beautiful in person.” “So, y/n tell me everything.” She said with excitement in her voice. You started at the beginning and you told her how it felt like a magnet was pulling you to him. You could hear her giggle as you continued telling her about everything. Well maybe not every single detail, but enough to make her squeal with delight. “So are y’all just fuck buddies or something else?” She said after you finished. “God, y/f/n crude much?!?” “I don’t know what we are right now. I just know when I’m with him I feel safe, loved and protected. I feel like I’ve known him for years. I can’t explain it. Trust me, once I know I’ll let you know.” You told her. After talking for a few minutes you told her you needed to get ready for the panels and photo ops. You both said your goodbyes with you promising to text or call her later.

You changed into your Radio Company t-shirt, grabbed your flannel and finished off your outfit with your comfy shoes. You fixed your hair into a messy bun and put on light makeup. One last look and you were headed out the door passes for the day in hand. The anticipation of the day gave you butterflies. You wondered how Jensen would act towards you and since Jared saw you how would he be towards you.

The first panel was with Jared, Jensen and Misha. You took your seat on the 2nd row on the far right. You were in the first seat and could see the stage clearly. The guys were introduced and took to the stage. Deafening applause and screams filled the room. They sat down on their chairs, of course Jared turned his around. You saw Jensen scanning the crowd looking for you. When he made eye contact with you he smiled. You smiled and bit your lip. He bit his bottom lip and licked his lips. Jared noticed and smiled, tipping his head to you. He leaned over to Misha and whispered something to him that caused him to look your direction and smile. He gave Jensen a playful slap on his arm with a big grin on his face. Jensen blushed a little. You thought he was absolutely adorable with slight pink cheeks.

The panel started with the guys talking and cracking jokes. The crowd was in the palm of their hands. These guys really love their fans and know how to really work the crowd. You hardly took your eyes off Jensen. He was breathtaking and so sweet answering questions about any and everything people asked him. You decided to jump in line to ask a question before Jensen turned back your way. He saw you weren’t in your seat and you saw his face fall a little. The next question came from the other side of the room so Jensen turned to listen and answer the question. Your turn was next. Your heart was racing and you had no idea what you were going to ask, so you decided to wing it.

You took the microphone and when Jensen saw you he started smiling. Jared and Misha both grinned. Jared said hello first followed by Misha and then Jensen. You said “hey guys! My name is y/n it’s really great to meet you three.” Jared said “hello y/n I’m Jared, that’s Misha and the goof down there is Jensen.” You giggle when Jensen whips his head around and said “oh I’m the goofy one?!?” Everyone started laughing. You looked at Jensen and said “um my question is for Jared” giving Jensen and smile a wink while Jared starts laughing and says go on. You ask him “Since he was Deans little brother, if he could pick the perfect girl for Dean what would her personality be and would it be similar to someone he would approve of for Jensen? Why or why not?” Jared said “Well y/n I’m glad you asked that question. Hmm the perfect girl for Dean would be very similar to the perfect girl for Jensen. They would have to be strong willed, loving, family oriented, could cook and put up with his moods .” “So let me ask you something, y/n. Are you a Sam girl or a Dean girl?” He asked you wiggling his eyebrows. Jensen spoke up and said “well obviously she’s a Dean girl because she wanted to know about his perfect girl.” He said smiling at you. “You looked between the both of them and smiled then said “Well, actually I’m a Cas girl.” Everyone erupted in laughter. Jared and Misha both jumped up to hug you. Jared grabbed you and pulled you into a hug and whispered “so glad to finally meet you officially.” Misha hugged you and said “I knew I was going to like you.” Jared jumped back on stage and said “best answer ever!” You thanked them and took your seat looking at Jensen and you’re both smirking at each other.

Before the end of the panel one of the staff members came over and tapped you on the shoulder. “Ma’am, Mr Ackles would like you to join them in the green room. If you could please follow me.” You grabbed your stuff and got up to follow her. She took you behind a curtain and into a room with seating, food and drinks. There was also a tv that showed the current panel. A few minutes later the panel was done and the guys were walking off the stage. The next thing you knew the door was opening with Jared, Jensen and Misha walking in. They all greeted you with hello’s and smiles. Jensen walked up to you and took you in his arms. He hugged you and backed away. You leaned in for a kiss and he said “oh I thought you were a Cas girl?” You playfully hit his chest and he softly kissed your lips. “Awwwww” Both Jared and Misha said at the same time. Jensen shot them a smirk and put his arm around you. You all sat around talking and getting to know each other. All the guys showed you recent pictures of their kids and they talked about how fast they were growing. You showed pictures of your kids and talked about how they have both grown up too fast. Your oldest is in their 20s and your youngest is almost 18. Everyone looked at you and said there was no way you had a kid in their 20s. You laughed and said “I started early.” Jensen sat staring at you and you were worried you just blew it with him. Yes he has kids, but they weren’t teenagers yet. You kinda held your breath until Jared and Misha got up to leave and told Jensen and you they would give y’all a few minutes alone before Jensen was due for his next thing.

When the door closed you looked at Jensen who was still staring at you. He whispered to you “I kinda like the idea of a MILF.” He growled in your ear and you were on each other like a couple of teenagers. You were panting and hands roaming over each other. Deep passionate kisses and Jensen leaving love bites down your neck. His lips were intoxicating and his touch was electric. You knew you couldn’t get too hot and heavy but damn did your body crave him. Between kissing and heavy petting you told him he needed to get ready for the next thing. You didn’t want him to be late. He kept kissing you and finally pulled himself away. “You know I just realized I don’t have your number.” Jensen said with a chuckle. You smiled and gave him your number then said “well I think we had more pressing things on our minds.” He texted you and you saved his number under “J” just in case someone saw your phone. You didn’t have a clue what this was between you two and you really didn’t know how to explain it yet. Keeping this between you two right now was the best decision for both of you. With one last kiss you both sighed and left the green room. He went to his photo ops and you went to get in line. You were looking forward to getting the pictures done and hopefully seeing Jensen later tonight.

Part 6 soon

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 14) - Keep Close

Summary: The Ackles have the Padalecki’s over for dinner and let it slip that they’re engaged. Things seem to be going well but the anniversary of the accident is coming up and the reader comes up with the Ackles taking their first vacation together as a means of distracting Jensen as well reconnecting with Ray...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of sex, mention of a dead parent/spouse, anxiety

A/N: Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

“I’m stuffed,” said Jensen that night, the kids running around playing soccer in the yard after dinner. 

“I need that chicken recipe,” said Jared.

“I’ll write it down for you guys,” you said, sitting back in your chair. “You can do it with breast too if you like that better.”

“I want exactly this like, everyday from now on,” said Jared. Gen rolled her eyes and Jensen pulled out his phone. “Want me to take a pic?”

“I don’t need your freakishly long arms just yet,” chuckled Jensen. He turned around and took one of the four of you at the table before handing off his phone. “Mind getting one of us?”

“Your mom harassing you for engagement photos already?” asked Gen.

“By the time we were leaving they were both asking for photos and being obnoxious. Better than they were though,” said Jensen, smiling beside you. Jared took a few more and handed the phone back. 

“I still can’t believe your parents would act like that,” said Gen. “I mean obviously I’m super happy it got fixed but that’s so unlike them.”

“They made a mistake is all,” you said with a smile. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to finish this beer in the pool.”

“I think I’ll join you,” said Jared. He stood up and had a look on his face you caught too late. Before you knew it he had you picked up and was jogging over to the deep end and jumping in with you.

“Jared!” you said when you popped up. He giggled and swam off to the shallow end. “After I helped pick up the plates ya big lug.”

“We got it,” said Jensen, carrying over two beer cans and handing them to you. “We’ll join you guys in a few.”

About ten minutes later Jensen was leaning against the side of the pool in his bright red swim trunks, handing you the other half of his cookie cake piece.

“So any big plans for the wedding?” asked Jared, sat on the pool steps with Gen.

“I have a thought,” you said, turning to Jensen. “I haven’t discussed it with Jensen yet.”

“Vegas. Shotgun wedding,” he laughed. You shook your head and he grinned. “You’re thinking the farm, aren’t you.”

“What do you think? It could be outdoor or indoor, whatever it needs to be depending on the weather.”

“I’d love that,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “That’d be perfect for us.”

“You own a farm?” asked Jared. 

“Yeah, ten minutes from the brewery.”

“Dudes. You can open bar with your own beer. Oh and dibs on being a groomsmen.”

“Like that wasn’t gonna happen,” said Jensen.

“I don’t know on that,” you said. Jared’s face fell and you shook your head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t be one. Of course you would. I just don’t have a lot of close girlfriends. I think it’d be weird if Jensen had a ton and…”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” said Gen. “We didn’t have an even number at our wedding.”

“We got time to figure that stuff out,” said Jensen, holding your waist. You finished the last bite of cookie and hummed. 

“So you two having a kid?” asked Jared. Gen whacked his chest and he shrugged.

“Jesus, Jare. Don’t ask that.”

“They’re our best friends and godparents to our children...although I guess Y/N didn’t know that she inherited that until now but come on, I know you’re wondering too.”

“Shut up,” said Gen, crossing her arms. “Obviously if they decide, they’ll tell us when it happens.”

“Yeah, I think there’ll be at least one,” you laughed. Gen lit up and turned to Jared.

“Last time they said they were having a baby guess what we did? I can’t handle no more babies,” said Jared.

“Can you even get that thing up anymore?” teased Jensen, sipping on his beer.

“You’re one to talk, old man.”

“That shit still works just fine.”

“Just fine?” shot back Jared.

“Oh my God. You’re both good at sex. Y/N be grateful you’ve missed this same conversation over and over for the past sixteen odd years,” said Gen. 

“I’m still taller,” said Jared with a smirk.

“I can last longer,” said Jensen with one of his own. They narrowed their eyes at one another and Jared stood up.

“Go wrestle on the grass,” groaned Gen. They both huffed and got out of the pool before starting to playfully wrestle. “See, what you may not realize yet is you have another child right there.”

“Yeah but he’s hot,” you said, Gen laughing while you sat beside her. “Do you guys really talk about sex with each other?”

“Yes and no. The boys are you know, boys. They’d combust if they didn’t tease each other. I wouldn’t say there’s like, intimate details or anything ever shared. They’re both pretty private about that sort of thing. Dee and I would talk but more so say we had fun the night before. Shit we probably talked about sex toys more than anything.”

You stopped mid sip of your beer and she laughed.

“When your guy is thousands of miles away for that long out of the year, you gotta get off on your own. You get pretty good at phone sex too. You’re lucky. Jensen won’t be staying away so long ever again he said.”

“No, no. But uh...before Jensen I’d had the same boyfriend forever and he was as vanilla as could be. We didn’t do that stuff really together.”

“I can text you some links to stuff. It’s not like you have to go in some scary store or anything. It’s discrete and I think a small vibe would be great to start with. You can use it during sex or foreplay or whatever. Just you know, have fun.”

“Jensen and I kinda got busted by the cops a week or so back for...activities in the backseat,” you said. She started to laugh and you groaned. “Thankfully it was his friend that caught us so he let us off the hook but...it was kinda fun.”

“Good,” she said, sighing as Jensen pinned Jared down. “Hey so yeah about that wedding thing. Jared had two more groomsmen than I had girls. It doesn’t have to be matchy, matchy, you know?”

“I know. I don’t know if…” you trailed off. “I lost my friend group when I broke it off with my last boyfriend. We’d been together for over ten years and I kept turning down his proposals and they didn’t like that. I have some nanny friends but not a lot and no one I’m really close to. I don’t know if I’d even get more than five people to come for me. Everyone else is his family and friends and I didn’t think about that until just now. I mean what would they think, seeing that? I don’t know if I even want anyone there now.”

“I think what they’d see is someone they care about marrying someone he loves. Just because we’re Jensen’s friends doesn’t mean we’re not your friends too. I know we’re still getting to know each other but we’ll be as close as those two eventually. Ruthie was texting me and we’re having a girls night the next convention in Dallas. You literally have a built in crew ready to go from the show, the girls and the guys. You are so coming with me to the next night I have with my local girlfriends and you got our family. You even got Dee’s parents. You have more than you know, sweetie.”

“I never had a best friend growing up except for my mom. Until Jensen,” you said. “I’ve never really been good at the friend thing.”

“Were you bullied in school?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t tell anyone besides Jared but my dad wasn’t a good person. He hurt me and so I was afraid of getting in trouble so I didn’t talk to other kids all that much until I got old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong and that’s how I ended up being adopted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do anything about it now. But I can have it not control my life too. I’ve been pretty good since I was nine in that department. My mom dying sucked and things have been up and down but I like where I am now. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Jens’s not perfect.”

“I know. But he’s good enough. He gave me a certain confidence to live my life, like really live it.”

“He’s alright,” she smiled. “You know I have an idea about this bridesmaids thing you might like.”

“You?”

“Oh I would for sure but I meant more so I know two little girls that wouldn’t mind. Maybe there’s a boy too,” she said.

“I’m gonna need you to be my wedding planner at this rate,” you said.

“Job accepted,” she said. “I say we go farmhouse modern style.”

“Gen. I got engaged like two weeks ago. We have time,” you said. “We don’t even have a date.”

“At the very least can we go dress shopping?” she asked.

“I’m going to regret this,” you sighed as Jensen stepped back in the water.

“Get yourself a stronger man, Padalecki. That one is weak,” he said. Jared followed him right after and went to tackle him when Gen caught his arm.

“Boys, not in the water,” she said.

“Chicken?” asked Jensen.

“Losers pick up the tab for when we go out this weekend for dinner. Deal?” asked Jared.

“Well in that case, you’re on.”

Two Weeks Later

“Jensen,” you said, carding your fingers through his hair while he absentmindedly burnt some eggs. “You okay babe?”

“Yeah. We ought to pack up the kids, get on the road soon if we’re gonna hit the beach.”

“I’m gonna drive, okay?” you asked. He nodded and you got out the eggs again, making up a new batch. “Do you want to talk to Ray?”

“Why?” he asked quietly, leaning back against the counter.

“Anniversaries of traumatic events can be triggering,” you said. “My mom died two days ago. Well, you know what I mean.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

“Because it doesn’t trigger me anymore. But it did and this is the first time...the first one is the roughest.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I ought to talk to him.”

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll give him a call and get the kids ready while you guys talk, okay?” you said.

“Thank you,” he said. You kissed his cheek and hugged him before you went upstairs for your phone. It rang a few times but Ray finally answered, noise in the background.

“Y/N. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Hey. Yeah. We’re...we’re pretty good. Today’s the first anniversary of Jensen’s-”

“Ah. I understand.”

“Listen, I know it’s a Sunday and you don’t work the weekends but would you mind talking to him for a few minutes? We’re going down to Galveston for the week in a bit but he’s off this morning.”

“I’d talk to him even if he wasn’t your fiance but especially because of that. You know we’re actually down here ourselves for a few days. Just got down yesterday. If you guys are around...maybe we could get together for that swim.”

“I’d like that. You okay?” you asked.

“I always get a little down on the day but Sarah understands. You understand.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna put Jensen on and um, maybe we can meet at Arillo’s for dinner?”

“We got a reservation there ourselves tonight. How many in your crew? Five? I’ll call and ask for an update.”

“Yeah there’s five of us. Um, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for being so horrible as a teenager after mom. You loved her as much as I did.”

“Thank you but you don’t have to apologize for that. You got too much pain in your life. I’m glad you found the good stuff too.”

“Are Geroge and Taylor there?” you asked.

“Yeah kids are here. Taylor’s got some internship but she does it online half the day and George is some research assistant thing for one of his professors but same kinda deal. We leave them to work in the morning while Sarah and I have some fun. Want me to let them know you’re coming?”

“Probably a good idea. Not sure how they’ll react,” you said, Jensen poking his head into the bedroom. “Here’s Jensen.”

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll see you guys soon.”

You handed the phone to Jensen and finished up packing while he sat on the bed. You tried to leave him be but couldn’t help listening in.

“Yeah I’m anxious...I don’t want her to drive down today...you know why...I guess...probably...I don’t want to be freaking out for three hours in the car...because it’s today...I know...I know...so I have to suck it up...I don’t want to have a panic attack in the car with the kids...no I haven’t...I’m scared I will though...yeah...I understand...dude that sounds so stupid...that’s not medically anything...no I don’t have my doctorate...I don’t wanna ask her...I said I don’t want to, not that I wouldn’t...I know...I will...maybe I’ll try that too...yeah, Y/N said the first year is the roughest too...I’ll let her be in charge until we get down to the beach today. I think I’ll feel better after the car...yeah I kinda figured out what she was doing planning a trip on today of all days...I need it...really? Yeah, I’m looking forward to meeting up down there too...thanks Ray.”

You finished with your suitcase and had his open for him when he walked into the closet. He swallowed and handed your phone back.

“All good?” you asked.

“Ray thought it might be a good idea if I had something of yours with me on the way down, to keep on me since I’m...anxious this morning about being in a car.”

“Something of mine…” you said, looking at your side of the closet. “Why don’t you pack up and I’ll get you something before the road, okay?”

He nodded and twenty minutes and about three bathroom trips later the SUV was packed up. You hopped behind the wheel, Jensen tapping the arm rest from the passenger seat. 

“Here,” you said, reaching into your pocket, pulling out a bracelet. It was fabric, the kind made from craft string, white, rusty orange and a light tan color mixed together. 

“I’ve never seen this,” he said as he held it between his fingers.

“I got it on vacation with mom and Ray. Last one we went on,” you said, tying it around his wrist. “You have it.”

He stared at you as you turned the engine on, watching you backout. 

“This is too important for me to take,” he said quietly.

“It’s fabric. I want you to have it, okay?” you said, pulling onto the street and closing the gate. He nodded and you turned the radio on low. “Coffee run?”

“Yeah. Coffee sounds good right about now.”

You were only about fifteen or so minutes away from the beach house you’d rented. The kids were either taking naps in the backseats or watching a movie on the ipad. You risked a glance at Jensen, his fingers absently toying with the bracelet while he looked out the window, the radio on low. 

“How you doing big guy?” you asked as you pulled off to the exit ramp. 

“Pretty good now,” he said softly. 

“Mind navigating for me?” you asked. He hummed and picked up your phone from where it sat in the console the past few hours. About twenty minutes or so you were stretching outside of the car, Jensen opening the front door of the house with the code you’d been given. The kids climbed out and were good about each taking their own backpacks while you and Jensen gathered up the rest. 

“Come here,” he said, leaving the bags by his feet and kissing you against the side of the car. You grinned and he picked you up in a big squeezing hug. “I love you.”

“I know,” you said. He set you down and kissed you again. “You seem like yourself again.”

“I needed that push, get over that fear. But now, I can enjoy my day with my girl and my kiddos and apparently we are having dinner with Ray and his family tonight?” he asked.

“If that’s alright,” you said.

“One hundred percent,” he said, Arrow jumping up and down nearby. “Honey, go use the bathroom in the house if you have to go.”

“No I’m excited!” she said. “Can we go play on the beach? Pretty please?”

“Hm, give daddy fifteen minutes and then we can go?” he asked. She turned to you and grinned.

“We’ll go really soon sweetie. I promise.”

“Hey guys,” said Jensen an hour later, the five of you down on the beach and mostly watching them build a sandcastle together. “Y/N and I want to tell you something.”

“Is it that you guys are getting married?” asked JJ, patting some sand with her shovel. You glanced at Jensen and he shrugged. “You were talking to Aunt Gen and Uncle Jared about it last night, right?”

“Well, yes we were,” said Jensen. “I suppose we were a little louder than we thought. But yes, Y/N and I have decided to get married. We’re not sure when exactly but in the next year I can say.”

“So we have a mom again?” asked Arrow, fixing her corner of the castle that kept caving in.

“Well you guys are kinda lucky. You’ll get two moms,” he said. “How’s that sound?”

“We missed mom’s day,” she said with a sigh. “Right?”

“We’ll catch it next year, promise,” said Jensen. “Do you guys have any questions or anything you want to say?”

“Do we call you mom now?” asked JJ. 

“You guys call me whatever you want,” you said.

“Can we call you mom?” she asked. You nodded and she went back to playing in the sand. 

“Anything else guys?” asked Jensen.

“Can I get a giraffe?” asked Zeppelin while he figured out how much water to add to the sand to get it to stick together.

“No sweetie. They wouldn’t fit at our house,” said Jensen. 

“Darn it,” he said.

“I can tell you’re all so invested in this topic,” chuckled Jensen.

“Oh! Can my flower girl dress be purple?” asked JJ. 

“Your dress can be whatever color you want it to be,” you said.

“Awesome,” she said. “Or black and purple. With lightning stripes.”

“Ah, I knew the classic rock would finally pay off,” said Jensen.

“Maybe Daddy’s suit can be black and white stripes, like a tiger,” you said.

“Like a White Snake music video more like it,” he laughed. “We’ll figure all that stuff out. We wanted to make sure you guys knew was all and if you have any questions or were nervous or anything you know you can ask either one of us.”

“Mom makes you happy again. Of course you gotta marry her!” said Arrow. “Oh and get her a pony. Girls like that.”

“Would you care for a pony, sweetheart?” asked Jensen as he shook his head. 

“Are we talking mustang kind of pony?” you asked.

“That’s my girl,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulders, kissing your cheek. “Let dad get a picture of you guys. We’re on vacation after all.”

Five Hours Later

“Jensen,” you said, changing into a light summer top and a pair of denim shorts after your shower. He was standing by his suitcase undressed, trailing his finger over his scar. “Honey?”

“A year ago was the worst day of my life and today was a really great one. I get to meet Ray more and even Sarah and the kids who all sound great and...I’m really happy I’m still here to see all this.”

“Me too,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “Wear your red underwear.”

“Is that a request?”

“I like how you look when you take it off,” you said, gently smacking his ass as you went to go fix your hair.

“I am so grateful I found you,” he said to himself. You smiled and brushed your teeth quickly before checking yourself over and taking a selfie. You sat up on the counter and opened instagram, still silently grateful you’d always had it on private. There was nothing bad on it but Jensen and Jared had tagged you before and all of the comments always seemed to be negative.

“How do I look?” asked Jensen, walking in wearing a short sleeve navy button down and his red underwear.

“So sexy,” you giggled, Jensen digging through his other bag and finding his khaki shorts. 

“Can I get away with sneakers and a backwards baseball cap at this restaurant?” he asked.

“Totally. We always eat outside. It’s near the pier,” you said, putting up your post.

“Taking more pictures I can show off of you again?” he asked, grabbing your brush and getting some control of his damp hair back.

“Nobody even sees my instagram hardly,” you said.

“You know the internet knows we’re dating, right.”

“I’m pretty sure your fans still aren’t okay with that fact, even if they know.”

“Oh you’re mistaking the nutjobs for actual fans. The real ones, those guys are cool and nice. I actually got a lot of care packages and things from them last year. Still do. They really are good people. Those other ones that leave nasty comments? Fuck them. That shit don’t bother me anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying family and friends know. Can I show off the woman I love to the world?” You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in front of you, his head cocking. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Better late than never.”

“Okay,” he said. “For now though, I’m looking forward to this dinner.”

“I hope it goes well. It’s George and Taylor I’m more worried about. They were kids when I decided to stop coming around. I only knew them maybe two years, if even that. I know they were upset.”

“Give them some credit. Ray raised them too after all.”

“I’m all set!” said Zeppelin, walking into the bathroom with his paw patrol shirt and nothing else on.

“At least I was gonna wear underwear,” chuckled Jensen. “Little dude. Get some undies on and shorts in the next two minutes or else…” he trailed off as he came in and hugged Jensen’s leg. 

“I love you, daddy,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Can we get a giraffe now?” he asked. Jensen rolled his eyes and you released him.

“Let’s go finish getting you dressed, buddy.”

“So you guys were Sarah’s fosters?” asked Jensen towards the end of dinner, all three kids passed out asleep in the stroller or on the bench besides you while you picked at your shared dessert. Neither George or Taylor had said much aside from introducing themselves. 

“Guys,” said Ray, nudging Taylor. “I’m sorry for our children’s rudeness. I was afraid of this.”

“Shut up,” they both said, Sarah sighing.

“The kids were both big fans of Supernatural. They grew up watching it with me. It was something we bonded over at first in fact,” she said. 

“Oh,” said Jensen, a smirk forming on his face. “Sam or Dean girls? George come on buddy, it’s okay.”

“This isn’t happening,” said Taylor, her eyes squeezed shut.

“So you guys don’t want to hear about the movie, gotcha,” he said, both of them snapping their heads up.

“He really is a dork,” you said. 

“Movie?” asked George.

“Someday. You can count on it,” said Jensen. “Maybe I’ll go easy on you guys and ask what mom was?”

“You boys are a little young for my tastes but honestly the guy who played John was very attractive,” she said.

“Even I’d hit that,” said Ray, Sarah laughing to herself.

“You can see Ray wins his ladies over with his charm,” you said, glancing at Taylor and George. “Like you guys could literally ask anything you ever wanted about the show and get an unfiltered answer if you want.”

“Did you really keep the car?” asked George. Jensen nodded and held up his finger.

“When we’re back in town, you guys come over and you can take a spin in it,” he said.

“Okay, he’s cool with me,” said George. You cocked your head and he smiled. “That was the car from the show I always told you about.”

“Oh. I thought you were talking about batman or something,” you said, pursing your lips. “Sorry I wasn’t…”

“You always sucked at pretending to be happy,” said Taylor. You looked down and nodded. “We get it. You had to do your own thing.”

“Don’t hate me for leaving?”

“Maybe when we were little,” she said. “But we’re older and we get that you probably felt like a fifth wheel.”

“Yeah. A lot really,” you said. “It worked out though.”

“She’s a Dean girl by the way,” said Ray, cracking up as Taylor whacked his arm.

“Dad! Oh my God no I’m not! I like Sam!” she said.

“Want to talk to him?” grinned Jensen. Her face went red and you heard a quiet chuckle at the table. “You’re right, we’ll save that for in person.”

“You basically are marrying Dean Winchester without like, the trauma,” she said. Jensen tensed up but kept a smile on his face. You knew Ray caught it when he gave him a simple nod.

“Trauma’s not inherently bad,” said Ray. “Everyone at this table has gone through some.”

“I know, dad,” she said quietly. She looked at George and he nodded. “Our parents were in a house fire. So were we. I was five and Georgie was four.”

“She carried him out and went next door for help,” you said.

“I was in a car accident last year,” said Jensen. You turned your head. It wasn’t public knowledge that he was in the car. He’d flat out told you that aside from family and a few friends, no one besides you knew. “I almost died. My wife did but for other reasons. You can still have trauma and a really good life.”

“Very good point, Jensen,” said Ray. “You two rugrats wouldn’t be around if mom and I had moped around in our misery forever.”

“Was he always such a sap?” asked George.

“From the day I met him,” you said, Jensen grabbing your hand under the table. “Would you mind watching the kids for a second?”

“Not at all,” he said. You excused yourself and brought Jensen along with you, walking out to the beach area, the breeze cool but light.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I can talk about it now. I went from having the worst year of my life to one of the best. Nothing bad’s gonna happen for saying what really happened. I want to let all that shit go and have the rest of that really good life I was talking about.”

“For someone who keeps a lot inside I sure have noticed a difference in you the past few weeks.”

“To quote both of the loves of my life, I gotta let that shit out more regularly,” he said. You smiled and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, giving him a kiss. 

“You know that’s what we call growth, babe.”

“I very easily could have gone the opposite way this year.”

“But you didn’t, cause you tried even though it sucks sometimes. I love you but I extra love happy you and you’re definitely a happier guy now than when I met you.”

“So are you, honey,” he said. “Must make a pretty good team or something.”

“Oh yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“We should honestly get like, married or something, you know?” he teased.

“First I have to know though, are you willing to do cookie cake for a wedding cake?”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” he said. “The real questions is, are you willing to deal with the eventual dad bod that will happen as a result?”

“I love this bod, but I don’t love you for this bod,” you said. 

“Thank you for today,” he said softly. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. He grinned and kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly. “What are best friends for?”

“Everything?”

“Hell yeah they are Ackles.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 15 here!

[random-fireworks]

Supernatural really did that

Writing this post hurt so much.

The domestic montage that we’ve I’ve been craving for for years

For years, years, I have been asking for the Winchesters doing their laundry and we just got a whole adorable montage of domesticity 

Soft Dean waking up and cuddling Miracle (uwu)

tHE BREAKFAST???? “It’s hot” and Dean burning himself when taking the toast anyway?? It’s such a rom com scene and I am here for it.

Dean mouthing the words as he reads on the laptop 

Soft HAPPY Dean at the pie festival 

Dean calling Sam’s expression “sad Sam face” (he knows his little brother so well and I love when we get a glimpse of that)

Dean getting pied

Basically this whole first part where we get to see the boys being happy and domestic

Dad’s journal!!!

Sam is so fucking soft for his brother when he says “Vamp-mimes” and honestly who wouldn’t be???

Psycho Winchesters about to torture the vampire (‘See, we’re the ones you should be afraid of’ flashbacks)

I can’t believe we got both soft domestic Winchester and psycho serial killers Winchester vibes in the same episode, this is Jack’s work

Soft Dean with his ninja stars awwww

Not talking about that scene, nope.

Okay, here we go anyway.

The whole dialogue. (just. kill me.)

Jared and Jensen in this scene delivered the best acting I’ve ever seen on television. 

s o f t  d e a n 

“Can you stay with me please” (man I was already sobbing when he said that)

Dean is so proud of his little brother, it’s his greatest accomplishment and I’m just. Dead. :)))

Dean saying “saving people, hunting things, it’s what we do” and not adding ‘the family business’ because it’s not about the family anymore, it’s about him and Sam only

Dean’s smile when he says “it’s okay, it’s good” because hejfszkzd and his brother is there i’mqs kdjdhdslhqd

“We had one hell of a ride, man.”

“Yeah, there he is” There he is, my everything.

How the music goes so soft when Dean starts to talk about the night he came for Sam

The music was so good and beautifully completed the scene. Thank you Jay Gruska.

The way Dean says “The woman in white, that’s right.” fuCK ME. All that nostalgia. The happy and the sad feelings, god, I am tearing up just thinking about it.

I’ll never get over Dean waiting for hours in front of Sam’s door.  1. That’s straight from a fic (not complaining) but 2. It’s actually so coherent with Dean’s character in season 1??? Continuity, we love to see it.

“It was always you, and me. It’s always been you.....and me.” 

Pilot parallels as if I still had enough tears left to cry without risking dehydration

“I love you so much. My baby brother.” And validating all our ‘baby brother’ lines in our fics (THANK YOU, I KNEW IT)

Dean being the one to leave this time and asking permission to

But also “I’m not leaving you” skqbdqbk

Jensen Ackles deserves all the awards possible for this scene. How you could see the pain but also the pride, the peace of mind and the love in his eyes. 

Fucking caressing hands 

Dean is fucking dying and he still moves his head slightly so he can lean on Sam’s forehead. JHQFDKSHDJS. 

Sam wearing Dean’s hoodie :((

I can’t even. Jared’s performance? Never seen anything like it. God, that was heartbreaking. 

And Brother in arms????? aRE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME?

The fucking single toast fucking broke me :))))

SOFT DEAN in Heaven 

“Almost perfect.” Dean is supposed to be at peace because he’s in literal heaven but still misses Sam AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH (it’s about the longing)

Also, Bobby been knew. Can’t fool him.

Dean being like, ‘Ah, I’ll just go for a ride and wait for Sam :)’ Look at my codependent boys even in Heaven, what the fuck, we love them for it

BABY. KAZ 2Y5.

How the montage showed how Dean is still very present and a focal point in Sam’s life. The only other character we see is a Dean and Sam is only living because Dean would have wanted him to (it’s the codependency)

Sam raising Dean Jr seemingly mostly on his own just like Dean raised him 

Okay so Sam sitting in the Impala and crying made me lose it like-

Sam wearing Dean’s watch :(

Dean knowing when to stop and sensing Sam behind him azjhjdzahjzadjzbdz FUCKING SOULMATES

Dean grinning so hard when he feels Sam behind him and then trying to play it cool ayqshudldzfhjf

Obviously the Pilot clothes and me bawling like a baby even though I knew it would happen 

“Heya Sammy” (Dean saying this always makes me so fucking soft but this time I was like...a soft weeping mess)

Dean glancing at Sam’s clothes and the big smile that follows

That hug. This freaking hug. Dean hasn’t seen Sam in like an hour and he gives him a hug that is so fucking tight.

And Dean does not let go of Sam

Dean looking at Sam like he is the most precious thing he has ever laid his eyes on, because he is

Did I mention how much Soft Dean we got in this episode?

It was literally an episode about the codependency of the brothers

[unfortunate-brat]

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 (𝐈)

Pairing: Therapist!Danneel x Latina!Reader, Jensen Ackles x Latina!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Summary: When her boyfriend asks to try new things in the bedroom, Y/N seeks out help from a professional. Mainly a woman who’s known to improve sex between couples or at least that’s what Y/N had believed.

Warnings: oral sex, Daddy!kink, hint of dark elements, dom!danneel

Challenge Used: Bee’s Birthday Bash

Created For: @negans-lucille-tblr​ 

Header Credit: (x)

Danneel’s Outfit: lingerie | dress 

A/N: This is part one, more are to come and the prompts for the challenge will be included in the future portions. Happy Birthday to this incredible and loving human being, I wish her all the best in everything she does and that she likes this gift from her favorite bottom 😵‍💫🥺❤️

The woman bites down on her lip, unsure of how to go about this. After all, how do you openly talk about kinks?

“ I know you seem nervous but nothing about your dilemma is quite scary. This is all about trust and communication, both participants need to be at the same level.” The redhead takes down notes, pushing up her glasses to sit a little higher. “ How long ago did he ask about trying new things?”

The woman nervously twiddled her fingers, wishing the world would swallow her whole now. “ A-About a couple days ago. He wanted to spice things up and I thought about giving him a b-blowjob but that’s not what he wants.” She cleared her throat, hoping to find a sliver of courage to keep going. “ H-He wants me to call him Daddy. Which is weird and I don’t think I could ever do that.”

More notes are taken down before the notepad and pen are set aside, the redhead taking a deep breath. “ Y/N, something I want to know is that no matter how strange a kink is, we don’t shame it. Just because he wants you to call him Daddy, does not mean he wants an incest related relationship. It’s about dominance really.” She pauses momentarily, watching Y/N soften up a bit, looking like a puppy who just got scolded.

“ He wants you to trust him enough to take care of you, give you a good time and who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy it.”

“ So I just say Daddy? That’s the kink?” Y/N didn’t understand how her partner wanted this to go, it’s not like any other ones asked for much in the bedroom. Not like they made her orgasm either but things were easier then.

“ Well no, there’s a time and place for it.” The redhead stands up, smoothing down the skirt of her black dress. “ How about we do a little acting Hmm? Just so you can understand a bit better, I find that most people who come to seek help learn better with a more hands-on experience.”

Sitting next to Y/N on the sofa, she takes her hand and squeezes it a bit. “ You can trust me right? We’re going to go by a color system, red means stop, yellow means go slower and green means continue.” Waiting for approval, she takes a deep breath in hopes this exercise may go well.

With a firm nod, Y/N watches as Danneel pushes her fiery locks back and gets on both knees. “ Now let’s pretend I’m your boyfriend, we’re having some foreplay and I want you to try using Daddy this time.” She places both palms on the other woman’s knees, slowly spreading each leg apart. Glancing to see Y/N look away in shame, biting down on her lip.

“ Color?”

As much as red would be the good option, the safe option, Y/N needed to learn how to be much dirtier. Even if her brain is screaming against the idea of this woman touching her, that it’s cheating and such. But her boyfriend knows she’s here, and had mentioned if they practice being comfy it’s okay with him. Still doesn’t ease the bubbling guilt…

“ Y/N, I asked you a question. Color?”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Y/N scrapes her brain for any bits of courage to reply. She’s a big girl, it was time to stop being a prude. Danneel was a trusted professional, so safety was her top priority! “G-Green.”

“ Green what?” This was the first push, a little shaking of Y/N’s boat of safety to see if she could handle the tides.

Y/N feels the heat immediately creep upon her cheeks once more. Fuck me. Her mind replies, tongue darting out to relieve the chapped lips. “ Green, Daddy.” The word left a bit of a sour taste upon her tongue, but to the woman’s surprise, not all that disgusting.

“ Now that’s a good girl.” The praise makes Y/N’s core run wild, seeing it’s a big weakness of hers. When her boyfriend teased about how good she was taking him, oh it made her go feral practically.

Danneel’s fingers skim close to her heat, teasing the lace covering the last shred of dignity. “ Men love it when you put on a little show, so when you go down on him, give him Bambi eyes. Just like this,” Leaning in close to her core, inhaling that sweet scent of arousal, Danneel licks a stripe up the clothed area. Eyes that of a doe-wide and innocent like-as she went for another lick.

Y/N instantly bucked her hips up, gripping the couch as Danneel pulls away with a sly smirk. “ This is where you put your hand in my hair, tug, and keep chanting Daddy.”

There’s no warning as the redhead goes back in for more, grinning as Y/N does exactly as told. Arching off the sofa as the woman pulls the soaked lace to the side. Devouring all that there was to offer and enjoying each second as Y/N mewled. “ Use your words babygirl, otherwise it won’t continue.” Danneel reminds the woman, lightly swatting her core.

“ D-Daddy!” Y/N squeaked, trying to catch her breath as Danneel continued once more. Arousal clouding her mind from proper judgement and solely focusing on getting relief.

Eventually Danneel pulled away, removing the tie from her black dress. Allowing the material to pool on the floor as she showed off the matching black lingerie hugging her in all the right places. “ You’re learning quickly babygirl, but first, remind me what your boyfriend’s name was.”

Before Y/N could reply, her boyfriend steps into the room and she squeaks. “ Jensen, I-I’m sorry!” The guilt was quickly washing over the pleasure and she wanted to go back in time to prevent this.

What made Y/N stop her small sobs was the sound of lips smacking together and upon looking up sees her very boyfriend making out with Danneel.

“ How was she?” He asks the redhead.

“ Hmm, innocent. You sure know how to pick ‘em. Guess that year apart was worth it. Can’t wait to make her our little toy.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

WANT TO SUPPORT ME?

When you reblog not only are you pouring fuel onto the fire, but you’re helping it spread! If you want me and other writers to keep writing please consider supporting us by reblogging with your feedback!

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Continuing my dissertation on why Supernatural is about Destiel even when Cas is not in the episode, and here is my analysis of 11x18 - The Chitters.

I initially had this episode on a “never watching again” because the monster grossed me out so much, but then I realized that the writers were giving us a literal Dean/Cas as husbands mirror story by doing this

and hiding it in an episode with the most grotesque MOTW imaginable (seriously, name a worse monster than underground creatures who impregnate humans with their eggs via orgy and leave them in a damn cave; oh and cause them to shake, chitter, and have glowy green eyes.  BRB, puking).

A little trickster moment in the beginning starting this episode with two brothers, and the eldest - Matt - dying in a *shocker* supernatural way, and the youngest - Jesse - then going on to dedicate his life to avenging his brother’s death.  A lot of reviewers consider this intro to mean we are supposed to be looking for Sam/Dean parallels in the following narrative bEcAusE tHAt is WhAT thE boYS wOuLD dO, but I POSIT TO YOU IT IS NOT ONLY A 10000000 percent DESTIEL STORY, BUT ALSO THAT this is established in the very first scene - the conversation between Jesse and Matt in the flashback:

JESSE

It finally happened.

MATT

What? You didn’t get detention this week?

JESSE

Me and Jackie, we kissed.

MATT:

Okay, can I stop hearing about him every two minutes now? “You think he likes me?”, “Jackie looked at me. I-I think he looked at me.”

JESSE

He definitely likes me.

***I mean Matt’s comment -  does this not immediately remind you of Sam “I am in constant Destiel super hell” Winchester?

For reference, here is Sam’s “I am in super hell please stop now” face:

**Also he LOOKED AT HIM?! What is 80% of Destiel if not subtextual pining and LOOKING.  I don’t make the rules.  Jesse is Dean.  And Matt is dead.  Matt’s death ENDS the “brother portion” of this story insofar as the parallel is concerned. (**please note I am not advocating for Sam to die.  the parallel is just NOT about the brother storyline in this episode - there are plenty of other “mirrors” for the brother storyline, but this is NOT one of them).

We cut to the real Dean continuing in FULL RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED because Amara has Cas at this point and he is panicking.  

Was the red and black flannel an intentional wardrobe choice to mirror Jesse’s jacket?  We will never know. (Yes.  Everything is intentional.  This is Supernatural. We hate it here. Also Cesar is in a KHAKI vest because KHAKI means THINGS in Supernatural for REASONS). 

Also I love FULL RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED desperately trying to get Cas back Dean.  It’s real “I just started studying for my final the night before at 10 p.m.” energy.  He’s refusing to stop to even look at Sam here:

Anyway, a few gross scenes of green eyed people, orgies, and a hilarious conversation about weed (or was it oregano?- 

Jensen Ackles you slay me) later -

Jesse and Cesar save Dean’s bacon and the four of them end up in a bar chatting over beers.  Here is where it is INCREDIBLY apparent that Jesse is a mirror for Dean (also I’d watch a bottle episode of these four hanging out doing regular every day stuff a la How I Met Your Mother or Friends).  

JESSE

One of them took my brother 27 years ago.

[Sam and Dean look surprised. Sam turns to Dean, and Dean is speechless.

DEAN

[looks to Jesse] I’m sorry to hear that.

JESSE

I’ve been waiting years to come back and have this shot at them. So, I hope you understand, I’m gonna ask you two to take a step back from this one.

DEAN

[nods] Well, catch us up. Where have you guys been?

JESSE

In the woods, where the action is, looking for their burrow and saving your ass.

[Sam is slightly taken aback, but he gives a look of approval. Cesar scoffs.]

JESSE

What?

CESAR

Well, one of the reasons we’ve been holed up in the trees is because Jesse hates the town and everyone in it.

JESSE

Because they’re ignorant and useless. [turns to Cesar] They didn’t believe me 27 years ago, they’re not gonna start now.

CESAR

[sternly] It’s boneheaded not to be following leads in town.

JESSE

Hey, nobody stopping you from talking to the whole box of crackers.

[Cesar sighs and looks away.]

***You could replace “Jesse” with “Dean” and the lines wouldn’t need to change an iota to stay in the character.  Cesar’s scoffing, the stern response, calling Jesse boneheaded, sighing, looking away exasperatedly - 100% Cas energy.  I really don’t make the rules. Cesar isn’t anything like Sam, and he isn’t meant to be.  This is not a brother story.  THIS IS A STORY ABOUT TRUE LOVE DAMMIT.

Dean makes that red herring comment about them bickering just like brothers , then:

Which by the way is EXACTLY how Dean and Cas bicker.  Hence why Sam is always in super hell.  

I can’t find a better quality image of this montage, but I really wanted to bring attention to the EXPRESSION on Dean’s face:

***Sure, Dean. You’re curious about what it’s like to live with a hunter.  Okay. 

Also, whoever made this, you get it.

They start arguing on the next step - questioning a former sheriff, or going back to the woods to search for the creepy crawlies’ hidey hole.

JESSE

[sternly] We need to find the burrow.

CESAR

[patiently] Jess, we’ve been beating around the woods for two days.

JESSE

[stubbornly] That’s where they are. You saw the tracks.

CESAR

I can keep searching on my own. We’re losing.

****sternly-patiently-stubbornly <- it’s like a never-ending Destiel refrain.  Cesar’s willingness to continue on what is purely Jesse’s quest for revenge so Jesse can move on is also so very Cas-adjacent.  I LOVE A SUBTEXTUAL PARALLEL.

Anyway, then they split into twos, pairing Sam with Jesse and Cesar with Dean for the next few scenes.  Lots of reviewers tracked this as a brother-brother (i.e. Sam is paired with the version of himself and Dean is paired with the version of himself) parallel, but THIS scene with Sam, Jesse, and the old sheriff SCREAMS otherwise:

JESSE

[angrily pushed Cochran down the chair] You son of a bitch.

[Sam moves forward to get Jesse back.]

JESSE

You knew the whole time! You knew where they were when everybody was suffering.

COCHRAN

[pushes Jesse off him] I was suffering too!

SAM

[pulls Jesse away from Cochran and tries to calm him down] Jesse. Hey, hey. Hold on. Hold on.

***EXCUSE ME, did he just say DEAN’S CATCHPHRASE.  And how many times has Sam done this exact thing to Dean when he is in a rage?!?   I DO NOT MAKE THE RULES.  

ALSO something about THE JUXTAPOSITION of Cesar and Jesse in the following scene.  This is very Dean with Cas quietly waiting for him to me.

A lot of creepy monster montage scenes and dead bodies later, the day is saved.  Cue adorable husband exchange, and the news that Jesse and Cesar are going to retire.  

SAM

So, uh, what’s freedom look like?

JESSE

Nice little spread in New Mexico. We’ve been paying on it for years. Set foot on it about … twice?

CESAR

Gonna raise horses. And if that goes bust, Jesse used to be an EMT.

JESSE

Oh, so now I’m supporting your ass?

[Cesar chuckles and looks at Jesse lovingly, before both men turns to the Winchesters. Sam follows the laugh.]

CESAR

 It’s time to start living.

Also this SHOULDER touch.  And it’s the left shoulder.  (there is a great Casifer post out there about how Dean was thrown off specifically because Casifer touched his RIGHT shoulder, and Cas always touches his LEFT).  

All I really need now is a FACE CUP, tbh.  

You want more parallels?  Recall that CESAR (aka Cas-adjacent) is the one who saves Dean’s bacon in the beginning.  

Then he helps him get up off the ground. You know, as in he RAISES him from -

(JENSEN YOUR ACTING CHOICES WITH THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE ILYSM)

Dean, realizing that he is watching an AU version of himself and his boyfriend/future husband:

Yes, hi, we are the same character.

Anyway, I will always and forever love this episode for showing us the ending Dean and Cas deserved (WHAT WAS THE REASONNNN) - settling down on a small ranch together in New Mexico.  At least these two got their happily ever after.

ALSO, MANIFESTING

Maybe then Sam can finally leave super hell.

BONUS:  

Sam: Couldn’t do it, huh?

Dean: [shakes head] No, didn’t feel right.

Sam: Yeah. I know what you mean. Two hunters who make it to the finish line?

Dean: Yeah, you leave that alone.

Saving this to my box of INCONSISTENCY TRASH DUMP FOR 15x20.

P.S. I am starting to develop a theory that the episodes we all like LEAST, and therefore tend to skip [or that have off putting plotlines/ don’t go with the general myth arc/creepy monsters/bizarre or even boring scenarios] are the ones with potentially the most subtext, and therefore the best underlying story line (so likely no Cas in the episode, random stuff like Red Meat, the creepy chitters monster that makes you want to cringe). 

So at the end of the day, the subtext was always the real story anyway.

(OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THE GIRL WEREWOLF IN BLOODLINES WEARS A FUCKING KHAKI TRENCH COAT THE ENTIRE TIME.  AM I GOING TO HAVE TO REWATCH THE ALWAYS SKIPPABLE BLOODLINES NOW?  And that definitely means I am DOOMED to rewatch the worst episode that ever was when I get to season 15.  Dammit.  What have I done?!?!??!?!)

[let-me-luve-you]

The Scared Runaway

Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader

Summary: The reader finds out life changing news and she is scared of what her family will think, especially her father.

Warnings: Teenage Pregnancy, Angst, Teenage Runaway,

MASTERLIST

Your heart stopped as you looked down at the two lines. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you thought about what it meant. You sat down on the floor staring into space thinking about how your life was now changing. 

Pregnant. 

You were pregnant. 

You were 17 and pregnant.

You stayed locked in the bathroom until you heard your little brother knock on the door to tell you dinner was ready. You told him you would be there shortly. You got up and grabbed the test and box. You ran to your room to hide it in your bedside table. 

Dinner tonight was just your younger sisters, brother, and stepmom. When you sat down, Danneel instantly noticed something was off about you. She also noticed your red eyes. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” She asked quietly as not to worry your siblings. 

“I’m fine.” You said while trying to give a convincing smile. As you sat quietly at dinner, you tried to think how you were going to tell your dad. He wasn’t going to be happy with you at all. You started thinking of how he might kick you out. Not wanting you around your siblings because you were a horrible role model. 

“I’m done. Thank you Dee for dinner.” You said getting up. Not waiting to be excused, you grabbed your plate to put in the sink. You ran to your room. You shut and locked the door behind you. You knew your dad was coming home late tomorrow night which gave you roughly 24 hours to figure out how to handle everything. 

As you laid on your bed thinking about how to tell your dad, you couldn’t quit thinking about all of the negative outcomes. He was going to disown you. He was going to kick you out. He wasn’t going to help you. As the thoughts ran wild in your head, you heard a knock

“Y/N, I’m going to bed. If you need me or need to talk, you know where to find me.” You heard Dee said. 

You stayed quiet. Making Dee sigh and walk away. You knew you were already disappointing her so you did the only thing that made sense in that moment. You packed a bag to leave on your own terms. 

You packed as much as you could in your giant rolling suitcase. You grabbed your school bag and put your laptop in it. Once your bags were packed, you grabbed a piece of paper and started a note to your father. 

Daddy. I’m sorry. I’m a failure as a daughter. I won’t tell you what I did, but I will tell you I know if you knew what I did, I would disappoint you. I can’t do that. I don’t want to see the anger in your eyes. It’ll be better this way. I’m leaving to protect you, Dee, and the little ones. I’m not the role model they deserve. I hope one day you can understand. Just know I will always love you and be grateful to have you as my father. Don’t look for me. Just let me go. 

Y/N

You fought back the tears as you left the note on your desk. You grabbed your bags and quietly left your room and the place that once kept you safe from the real world. You started walking towards Gen’s and Jared’s house. Thinking maybe you can spend the night before you move on to the next place. 

You were shocked at who opened the door after you knocked. “Uncle Jared? What are you doing home? You aren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow.” 

He laughed, “Well we got done early so me and your dad flew back early. What are you doing here?” He asked. He frowned when he saw your suitcase. “And what are you doing here with a suitcase?”

“I was uh…” you stumbled over the words. “I was hoping I could crash here for the night, if that’s okay?”

“And you needed your Vancouver suitcase for a night over here?” He said skeptically. 

“Uh yeah. Couldn’t find my other one.” You said thinking on your feet. He nodded and let you in. As you went to the guest room, Jared heard his phone go off. He looked to see Jensen calling. He answered. 

“Jared.” Jensen said, sounding out of breath and panicked. “Y/N left. She’s not here. I need help finding her. She left a note for me. I can’t…”

“Calm down Jay. She’s here. She's at my house.” Jared said. 

“What is she doing there?” Jensen asked. Jared looked around making sure you hadn’t come into the living room. 

“I’m not sure. Said she wanted a place to crash for the night.” Jared walked quietly to the guest room. He saw you asleep on the bed, still dressed in your jeans and shoes. “Why don’t you come over? She’s asleep, but I feel like something is bothering her.”

“I’ll be there in 5.” Jensen said. 

“Doors open. Let yourself in.” Jared said before hanging up. 

Jensen rushed into the living room to see Jared sitting on the couch drinking a beer. 

“What’s going on man? Why did she run?” Jared asked once he noticed Jensen in the room. 

“I’m not sure. Said she did something I would be disappointed in. That she was leaving to protect us. Her job isn’t to protect us. It’s mine to protect her. Jared, she’s my baby girl. I can’t lose her.” Jensen said as he teared up. 

Jared looked at his friend. Almost breaking at seeing the strongest person he knows struggling. “It will be okay. Stay here tonight. Be here when she wakes up. Talk to her. Let her know that no matter what, you are there for her. To support her. That there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that she could do to make you disown her or turn your back on her.”

Jensen nodded as he looked at his best friend. He sighed before turning to look towards the guest room. He walked towards the room and let himself in. He saw you asleep in jeans and shoes. He quietly walked over to you and pulled your shoes and socks off. 

You stirred in your sleep and noticed your dad taking your shoes off. “Dad?” You said quietly. Jensen almost didn’t hear it. “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you the same question.” He said with a sad laugh. “Talk to me baby girl. What made you run?”

“I can’t tell you.” You said looking away from him. 

He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, “You can tell me anything and I will always listen and be here for you.”

“Not this. You won’t look at me the same. You’ll hate me.” You said. 

“I will never hate you. Just talk to me. I’m here to listen to you and offer any advice I can.” Your dad said as he made you look at him. You started to cry. 

“I’m sorry.” Jensen pulled you into his chest. Jared leaned on the door. Being there for additional support for his niece. Someone he has watched grow. “I’m so sorry daddy.” You repeated. 

“It’s okay baby. What are you doing apologizing for?” Jensen asked. 

“I’m...I’m pregnant.” You said. Jensen froze for a second before he continued to rock you to help calm you down. He looked over at Jared with sad, shocked eyes. 

“Shhhh. You’re okay.” Your dad whispered as he held you tighter. Jensen’s thoughts were running wild. Thinking about how his baby girl was going to have a baby. “You’re okay Y/N/N. You’re okay.” He kissed the top of your head. “I will support you with whatever you decide. I will be there for you every step of the way.”

You pulled away and looked at him with tears still falling at a fast rate. “You aren’t kicking me out?”

“No baby. I’m not. I would never do that.” Jensen said as he wiped some of the tears from your face. “Is that why you ran? Because you thought I would kick you out?” You nodded your head. “Well I’m not.”

“Even if he did, you always have a room here Goober.” You heard Jared say while using the nickname he gave you when you were three. “You will always be welcome here. And I’m going to support you too. No matter what decision you come to with how you want to handle this.”

“Thank you Uncle Jared. I love you.” You said getting up from the bed to give him a hug. He squeezes you tightly before kissing your head. 

“Love you too.” He said before looking at your dad. “You’re both welcome to stay if you want. Or if you leave, just set the alarm. I’m going to bed. Night.” He said as he walked to his room. 

You sat back on the bed, anxiously picking at your fingers. Your dad noticed and grabbed your hands so you would stop. 

“Let’s go home. We can talk some more when we get there.” Your dad said as he passed your shoes to you and grabbed your bags. “I’ve got the car out front so don’t worry about putting your shoes on.”

As you walked back into your room. You crawled into bed. All the emotions from the day catching up with you. 

“Can we talk more in the morning? It’s been an emotionally draining day.” You said quietly to your father. 

He nodded, “We can. But don’t think you are getting out of this.” 

“I’m not.” You said. “Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course.” He crawled into bed and pulled you close to him so you could lay your head on his chest. Just like you did when you were younger. “I just want you to know, I was only a few years older than you when you were born. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I was terrified. Especially since I had to raise you on my own. Anytime I felt like I was failing or felt I should quit acting, you would give me this gummy smile and would giggle. It would just light up my world and make me keep fighting for the life I wanted for you. For us. I didn’t give up and I won’t let you. I love you Y/N Y/M/N.”

“I love you too dad. I’m sorry for scaring you and leaving.” You said as you hugged him. 

“Just don’t do it again and I will forgive you.” He said giving you a kiss on the head. “Now get some rest. We can talk more in the morning.”

You smiled knowing that your dad still loved you. Knowing you had support through these challenging times. Snuggled up to your dad, you had one of the best sleeps you’ve had in a while.

[canonicallysoulmates]

I just wanna take a moment to say to those who are not in the spn fandom but might have heard of a certain "controversy" regarding a Spanish dub of episode 15.18 that there is no controversy.

What is happening is that a group of shippers in the fandom are mad that their fanon ship did not become canon and since it's a gay ship they are trying to claim censorship and pretend that they want representation.

The truth is that they don't truly care for those things, the just want validation for their fetishized white male ship. One half of that ship, Dean Winchester, has always been portrayed as straight and neither actor, writer, producers have ever implied he is anything other than straight. In fact it is the opposite, they have been vehemently clear about his sexual orientation. And when they have stated such they have been attacked and harrassed and even, in the case of the actor, been labeled as homophobic.

Those same people you may see across your dash or in tags praising Jensen Ackles (the actor who portrayed Dean for 15yrs) and saying that he was censored, that he wanted the ship to be canon and he was upset it wasn't, that he wants to redo the show to bring the character back and fix that- those same people, just two weeks ago, were calling him homophobic just because he didn't say I love you back.

This is not the first time they've done this, by the way, this is what they have done for years, they praise him and claim to love him when he says something they like but if he doesn't, if he points out that his character is straight or shoots down their little ship in any way they call him a homophobe, they try to tarnish his reputation, they harass him, they say he has no right or that his opinion on this character that he has portrayed for years has no validity.

However, in the same breath, they'll claim their true favorite M*sha Collins is the ultimate authority on anything he says regarding the character he portrayed, C*stiel, and all the other characters for the sole reason that he says what they like to hear and praises their ship.

I'm not going to go into details in this post on how they treat and act towards the second leading man of this show, and Jensen's co-star, Jared Padalecki who portrayed Sam Winchester but it would be remiss of me not to mention it; they have a vile hatred of him so big that they wanted to get him fired from the show, they harass him, they sent him threats, when one year he shared a sad post on his birthday instead of being concerned they mocked him and were happy, this is a man who suffers from depression in case you weren't aware, and that's just the tip of the iceberg! They have an all consuming hatred of him (that they deny!) all because he played Dean's little brother who was written from the very first episode to the very last one as the most important person in Dean's life, and because he is very close and important to Jensen in real life. They hate him so much some even want to boycott his new CW show, Walker, which has...wait for it...a gay character.

It should come as no surprise when I say that they also harrass, bully and send vile messages to those in fandom that don't ship their ship. Some even harrass their fellow shippers just because they're not as extreme in their shipping.

Let's talk about gay characters real quick because they'll have you believe SPN had none but that's not true Supernatural did have LGBTQ+ characters and some played major parts like Charlie, a close friend to the Winchester brothers, or Chuck who was actually God. It's not that the show had no LGBTQ+ characters, it's that Dean Winchester wasn't one of them.

But let's get back on track, what is this supposed controversy and is there any truth behind their claims that Jensen wanted the ship to be canon?

One thing at a time, the "controversy" is that in the Spanish dubb of the show Dean says "me too" to C*stiel after his love confession something he doesn't say in the English version of the episode. Now, the shippers are trying to claim that it makes their ship canon and that CW is homophobic and censored it that there is a secret scene that was cut out of the episode and the dubb is the real version of the epi.

The truth is there is no secret scene or censorship, anybody who knows anything about dubbed and translated works knows dubbing is not known for its accuracy. And the "real version" of the epi is the one that aired in English, the shows intended language.

The script very clearly says Dean can't reciprocate.

And the thing about Jensen? They're just saying that because he stated in the past that there was something that didn't sit well with him in the finale and that he struggled with it but he has yet to go into details about it was that he struggled with, it could have just as easily been, and it's way more likely it was, that he wanted more scenes of the brothers having fun [he's always been a big fan of the brothers relationship] so those trying to claim that it's because he was censored from having his character proclaim his love to another male character are grabbing things out of thin air.

(To note: in the finale Dean actually does proclaim his love for another male character. He tells his little brother he loves him. It's a different type of love, yes, but I'm pointing it out cause some have been trying to claim that Dean can't say I love you or that Dean shows no emotion and if you believe that I implore you look up his death scene.)

Oh, and the claims they're making that Jensen wants to reboot the show to make the ship canon? Another baseless claim. Jensen, and Jared, have both expressed an interest in playing these characters again but that's it. At no point has he said or insinuated that it's because he wants to make a fanon ship happen. He played Dean for 15yrs, it was a major part of his life and a character he deeply loves and will forever be connected too, him wanting to someday return to play him again has nothing to do with that ship. And it's kinda insulting that they want to boil it down to that.

In conclusion, the d*stiel shippers are lying to y'all. There is no secret scene. There was no censorship. Dean is and has always been a straight character. Jensen was not upset that Dean didn't confess his undying love to C*stiel. Jensen Ackles is not homophobic. Jensen wanting to reboot or come back to the show, and play Dean, again has nothing to do with that ship. And d*stiel shippers, or to be fair hellers (that's what we call the extreme d*stiel shippers because I acknowledge there are some that just wanna enjoy their ship), don't actually give a damn about representation.

If you wanna talk about censorship and possible homophobia on CW's part focus on how they treat their actual gay characters.

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Transcript of End of the Road Special

Transcript of End of the Road Special. 

Please let me know if I made any errors in transcription. Twitter version Family Don’t End with Blood Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

Dabb: Ultimately, we came up with something that we're all very proud of Singer: You never know what the audience is going to like so we really tried to say "what would make us happy? Would we be satisfied with where we've taken them?"

The Carry On song was a guideline.

Singer: The myth of what these brothers were throughout 15 years... We didn't shy away from fatalism, but we wanted to be able to have it be kinda uplifting as well.

Dabb: If you're going to do something that feels like a complete arc, you have to kinda go back to the beginning of it (clips of them hunting vamps from s1 & 15.20) When it comes to Sam & Dean- it's all about getting back to, in some ways, these two guys on the road in this car.

Dabb: They've been doing this job for 15 years now. They've fought everyone from demons to vampires to God himself, but at the end of the day, they're still working guys, out there on the road & taking cases. We've tried to never lose sight of that.

Dabb: There are times when we've been wrapped up in our own mythology a little bit. We've always tried to get back to the basics, which are: these two guys, saving people, hunting things. 

Eugenie: I think we sort of knew generally what the ending would involve.

Eugenie: We might not have known the mechanics, but we sort of knew there would be a victorious, glorious sacrificial ending bc I think sacrifice is a big theme in the series.

For every great thing you do, a cost must be paid.

Singer: Andrew & I talked about it. We were in agreement pretty quickly... talked to the rest of the writing staff & let them know what we wanted to do and we were open to suggestions. And then we pretty much pitched it to Jared and Jensen.

Jensen talks about flying to LA. Jensen: So before we ever even started 15, we knew how the last portion of the story was going to go. We didn't know how we were going to get there, but we kinda knew the final- the finish line- we knew what... what that was going to look like.

Jared: I don't think there's ever been a season of SPN in 15 years where the way the writers thought the show would play out for that season- ended up being the way it played out And so we were aware of that. They told us here's what we're thinking, here's what happens to Castiel

Jared: In the finale, Dean dies & Sam lives on. And then we think they're going to meet up in heaven. 

I remember Jensen... just because I know him so well- he seemed to bristle a little bit.

Jensen: It was hard to hear then & it was hard to read now. Not because I didn't like it, not because I wished it had gone differently... I'm not adverse to it. I think it's a great ending. I'm proud to film it.

Singer: And we just aimed for that, you know, throughout the season. We knew where we were going.

Jensen: Reading it & knowing that... there's just a weight that is so much larger reading these scripts than I've ever experienced before. 

There's an emotional weight that these scripts are going to carry & these episodes are going to have that I don't think we've ever seen before.

Brad: [J2] were so young when all of this started. They brought to it such conviction & such commitment to the effort. 

That's one of the things that kept the show going for so many years... a show that was designed for very young guys, footloose & fancy free, & on the road…

Brad: To see these guys grow up b4 your eyes into- men, not boys any longer- was amazing. 

BABY Jared: Though the story does involve Sam & Dean chasing supernatural things, it really is a story about two brothers that love each other & ultimately will do anything for each other.

Jensen: There's really one person that gets it on the level that I get it, and that's Jared. Jared: I've never spent as much time with another human being as I have with Jensen Ackles. He will be my friend and brother forever. And I know that.

BABY Jensen: There's a lot of dynamics between the two brothers, there's a lot of history between them, there's a lot of banter between them... it's good stuff S15 Jensen: We had a partner in crime & we leaned on each other for, you know, for times when it was tough.

Jensen: But we also won together. We got to share the experience of success & the experience of getting picked up for another season. Watching these two characters go through what they're going through, when we're working 14 hours & it's 2-3 o’clock on a Sat morning and we're just now finishing filming out in the rain and mud and we gotta race to the airport to get on a plane because we've got a photoshoot in LA & we've gotta do on camera interviews and we gotta promote the show that we love so much that we were just in the mud & the rain filming hours before we're exhausted and it's like there's only one person that gets that right now. That gets how I feel and that's this guy standing next to me. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool to have somebody like that.

Brad: We knew it was going to be impossible to tie up every aspect of all of the cans of worms that we opened up. 

We did want to bring a proper ending to the guys, the guy's relationship.

Brad: Then of course we had this huge corner we painted ourselves into with the most powerful thing in the universe being the big bad of the season. We try and find a proper send off for Jack & for Cas. What to do w/ the boys & is that a together farewell or an individual?

It was just... lots of moving parts. 

Dabb: I give a lot of credit to Bobo who really was the one who started banging the drum early & often to ending the mythology in 19 and end the characters in 20.

Brad: You're battling God & battling God & you have this epic situation going on through the first 3/4 of the show & then what? You send off Dean in act 4? That just felt wrong. Eugenie: We had this obligation, it was really mandatory, that we tie up the mythic narrative and leave the final episode for the emotional resolution. I [was] more on the side of not wanting to best God. To have God change to be more like his creations. So there were philosophical arguments, but we always knew God's resolution was going to be a big ticket item.

Jensen: We'd started day 1 of the 2nd to last episode, 19. We were 1 day down on that episode & we were just about to start our 2nd day & we got the call that morning that we were not going to be coming in that day.

Jensen: So we figured ok, we'll figure out protocol, figure out what we need to do, & we'll just regroup, come back on Monday. As that day progressed, it was like- this looks like more of an apocalypse that is ascending upon us than just a bad cold.

They pulled the plug & they said everybody go home. 

Singer: Fortunately, we got assurance from both the studio & the network that one way or another we were gonna finish the series. That was comforting to us, but we didn't know when we were going to go back.

Eugenie: We didn't know what we were going back to... if this was the last time we would ever see the set. There was no plan. It was just get out of dodge. Dabb: When it first happened, we thought it would be a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

I had conversations w/WB where they expected everyone to be back shooting in June & then things got worse & pushed & pushed.

Eugenie: Slowly as we settled into that 4 or 5 month period, discussions were going on w/the studio, & the networks, & the actors. We knew there would be restrictions on what we were allowed to shoot, but finally, the mechanics were figured out. 

Singer: So they were ready to go pretty quickly, shooting in Van, where covid wasn't quite as virulent as it was [in LA].

Dabb: We were one of the first shows, one of the first WB shows to start back up. So in a way, we were kinda a guinea pig. But, in being that, I think everyone took it really seriously. We had 0 positive tests. Crew members weren't going out on the weekends.

They were like look, if I get sick, it hurts the whole show. That speaks to the family culture up there, where we've had so much of our crew for so long. Where J2 & Singer provide such great leadership.

Singer: When I was in prep for 20, I was basically in the office but couldn't go to the set. It was very odd for me not to be able to go to the set while I was in prep. 

Everybody just hung in there & did what they were supposed to do.

Brad: Then we were faced with the dilemma of having to rewrite a lot of the stuff bc of the pandemic bc of the limitations that we knew were going to come on the production.

Jensen: We were gearing up for, not only the end of that season, but the end of the series. There was a lot of big, big things written-packed- into those last two scripts.

Jared: At first, it was supposed to be a lot of our old cast from prior seasons in a Roadhouse with Kansas.

Everybody had already agreed. Kansas was going to be in Van. We were going to have dad there & mom there. Just probably 20 or 30 different actors & actresses who had been a part of the SPN's canon over the last 15 & a half years.

Jensen: It was scheduled to be the last day that we were going to film, so it was almost like rolling right into a nice wrap party on camera. 

Brad: The idea of flying a boatload of ppl up there to quarantine for 2 weeks so they could shoot for a day was making less & less sense.

Eugenie: How do we make this work? And while you're doing that, you also don't want to sacrifice the heart and soul of the project. 

So we came up with a reduced, much more intimate ending. It has been replaced by something equally magical & rewarding.

Singer: I felt an enormous responsibility in directing the finale of a show that's been on for 15 years. Andrew, when he saw the cut, he said some really nice things to me as to, you know, the way I handled the material.

Jensen: The scenes that were filmed on our last day on the sound stages were filled with the most emotion of the final episode. 

Singer: One of the really hard things was we're on another stage that wasn't the MoL stage & they started wrecking the MoL sets

They'd been working on this set and been apart of this- this family for just as long if not longer than the set's been around. I was like "it's really sad seeing this get taken down" and the other guy said, "I'm trying to hold back tears while I'm swinging this hammer."

Jared: As we start saying goodbye to characters, to locations, like it just seems like every day you would wake up and there would be some reason to cry. 

Misha: This is a show ultimately about love, & empathy, & caring, & I think that Castiel embodies that.

Misha: Half the crew was crying. It was really such a sweet, supporting environment to be in for the demise of a character that, of course, for me is really important. 

But it was so lovely to see that, you know, the folks that I'm- I'm working with were also there for Cas at that moment. 

Alex: To get to work with these caliber people & see your friends every day is really special & is not something that often happens in this business for this long. It's been definitely a topsy turvy last couple weeks here with us and the crew. 

Jared: Friday of the final full week was the big scene in the barn with the vampires where Dean suffers his fate. They did the first two days with the entire stunt team & the young boy actors. 

And then they cut it for Thursday night and they're like, okay, Friday, tomorrow, we’re starting the dialogue. Dean, you're on the post. Sam, you just cut off the last vampire's head.

That was the scene- that was where Supernatural was really encapsulated. 

Jensen: And then the next week we kind of had this- on the road encore get together filmmaking scenario that felt more like we made it & it was more pats on the back as opposed to tearful goodbyes. 

Dabb: In a weird way you can look at the 15 seasons is like Sam & Dean's emotional evolution. You know instead of therapy, they kill vampires, but other than that it's kind of the same & brings them both to a very good place. And a place where they can, as the song says, you know, lay their weary head to rest. 

This felt like the most honest & emotionally fulfilling episode for these characters to us. Jared: I got thinking about how Supernatural started & how the majority of times how I thought it should end. It started with Sam & Dean Winchester. I think it's proper that it ended with Sam & Dean Winchester together again. 

Jensen: When the cameras stop rolling & Bob yelled, “Cut!” and Bob yelled, “That’s a series wrap on Supernatural.” There was- a there was a loud cheer that echoed through that canyon we were filming in. I will- I will happily say that there were hugs that happened and that needed to happen. Those are people that I spent not just years with, but so much time with- it's like brothers in arms and so to put it to bed the way that we did felt really good and then felt good to hug some people, I'll tell you that much. Singer: I thanked everyone, but I wanted to really thank people who had been with us from the beginning and as I looked around, there were so many people who had been there from the beginning.

We really were a family. I always say about this show is one of the reasons that it was a success and is that it was not only about the Winchester family, but it was about the Supernatural family. 

Jared: So now that's all said and done, I guess I can look back at it and just be proud that I helped this show carry on and I'm really proud of the blood, sweat, and tears that I put in, and I feel like- I feel like that sacrifice was also maybe one of the things I learned from Sam, you know? Sam had to sacrifice a lot. So, I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Dabb: You're never going to have another show like this. You're never gonna have another experience like this. For a lot of different reasons, from how long it ran, from the family that the show became, from the amazing fans that we have. [Footage of us] From the emotional investment people can put in over 15 years of their lives. 

Some started watching this when they were in high school, when they were 15, they're 30 now, they might have kids. That's their- that's like half their life. They've been with this show. You're not gonna have that again. Shows just aren’t gonna run this long, especially genre shows, but I don't know that I'm ever gonna do anything else in my career that I'm gonna be more proud of than having been involved in this show. 

Jared: The things that stick out are just how important it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And keep on working and wake up every day and treat it like it could be your last and- and if you make it out the other side, you'll be happy and proud of what you did. 

Jensen: The crew had packed up, they had cleared the bridge, and they were all starting to, you know, load their trucks and get moving. And Jared and I just kind of hung back, and we just took a moment. I looked at him and I said, “I’m proud of us, man. I'm proud of what we've done.”

We know that that's the collective we, that is everyone that is involved, that is- you know from the top down. You know, for our portion, for what we contributed to this monster of the show, he and I reflected on that, and still able to see and smell the roses.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By My Side (Part 6)

Summary: The reader and Jensen discuss their relationship moving forward while Jensen learns more about the reader’s family situation. He still has a bad feeling about something though and his gut may prove to be right...

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 5,700ish

Warnings: language, angst, mention of prior suicide attempt, minor violence

A/N: Enjoy!

_________

You woke up to Jensen bundled up in bed, covers tugged to his chin as he sleepily watched you stretching in bed. You giggled at him and his bed head, rolling closer and kissing him good morning.

“That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” you said.

“Obviously you don’t look at the mirror much,” he said. You smiled and he reached his arm under the covers, putting a hand on your waist. You scooted over, Jensen blinking slowly. “We need to talk about this.”

“Talk about what?” you asked. He bopped your nose and you smiled, tucking down into the sheets. 

“Do you want a relationship?” he asked.

“Do you?”

“It would make my job...difficult.”

“Oh.”

“Not impossible. Just difficult.”

“Is it any more difficult than it was? I mean honestly. What’ll have changed? You still keep me safe and I still hide and run if you say so.”

“That part hasn’t changed. But there is something that has. A wildcard factor. Wildcard factors aren’t great in this job.”

“What’s a wildcard?”

“In a dangerous situation, if we were in a relationship, there’s the potential that you would do something to put yourself in harm’s way to protect me.”

“If that happened, regardless of us being in a relationship, if your ass is on the line, I can’t guarantee I do as told.”

“I don’t like that answer.”

“Jensen, if we do this, you need to trust me. I will do what you tell me when it comes to threats but I can’t say for sure that I won’t try to help you if I can.”

“So if it comes down to it, you’ll do whatever you want in the end.”

“Exactly.”

“If when I’m in bodyguard mode, you do what I say...I will learn to be okay with that very small possibility.”

“Good choice,” you said. You slid a hand around his back and traced up and down his spine, feeling a thin line raised on the skin. “What happened there?”

“Not advised to jump from of a speeding vehicle,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he chuckled. “I was four wheeling once. Went off trail accidentally. Had to ditch my ride in a hurry. A bit of gravel-”

“Liar,” you said quietly. You smiled and he looked over your head.

“How’d you know?”

“I’m pretty good at knowing when people are acting,” you said. “You get it in combat?”

“Shrapnel got my vest.”

“You’re still lying.”

“It’s not pleasant. I’d rather not...scare you.”

“You don’t scare me,” you said.

“I was held captive once. Very, very briefly. I got a little beat up,” he said. 

“You?” you asked, Jensen nodding, sliding his hand up and playing with the end of your hair. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

“Thanks. I don’t like to talk about that stuff a lot,” he said. 

“If you ever change your mind, I’m a good listener,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said. “You like scrambled eggs?”

“Who doesn’t?” you asked. He smirked and kissed your cheek before he popped out of bed. 

“Well I’m about to blow your mind with the Ackles special,” he said. He walked around the bed and picked up his underwear, turning when he noticed you watching him. You looked him up and down, Jensen laughing to himself. “I saw you checking me out when I was swimming you know.”

You groaned and pulled the sheets over your head. He moved around for a moment and you felt the sheets come down, Jensen leaning over you.

“I had to tease a bit, make sure things were mutual,” he said. 

“Of course you did.” You stretched and yawned, closing your eyes.

“Doing anything fun with your family today?”

“Shopping with my mom will be fun. I’m not the biggest shopper but she likes it. We’ll get lunch, hit a few stores, get a massage after. I think Chuck and the guys are going looking at houses for the boys. Sounds like they might get a place together again.”

“Would you like your brothers to live closer?” he asked. You sat up and held the covers to your chest, Jensen handing you his shirt. You pulled it on over yourself, shrugging as you sat on your knees. “Why do you interact with them if you don’t like them?”

“How long have your parents been married?”

“All my life. Before that,” he said.

“No step siblings, half siblings?”

“My brother and sister share the same parents I do,” he said. “I don’t quite know what it’s like to live in a family like that I guess.”

“My mom went to a very dark place after my dad died. I didn’t know how to fix it. Chuck made her laugh for the first time in six months. He made her smile. He helped her and she helped him too. His wife died earlier on that year. He made her so happy, makes her so happy. I will put up with a few mean step-brothers to never see her go to that place again.”

“I would understand if they resented your mom but it’s you it seems they don’t like.”

“I was the youngest by quite a bit. Chuck would spend time with me. I think the boys were jealous and they probably could have done with more time with their father back then. They’d lost their mom that year too. But I needed him, mom needed him, he was mourning himself...he did the best job he could considering how fucked up we all were. They’re both successful. I just don’t think they liked having a little sister honestly.”

“Sucks for them. Little sisters are cool,” he said with a smile. “My big brother loves to mess with me but he doesn’t treat me the way those two do.”

“Well, even if they move here, I don’t have to hang out with them,” you said. You crawled into his lap and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “I heard someone’s a little cocky about their scrambled eggs.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know,” he said. He stood up with you before letting you get your feet under you. You pulled on your underwear and followed him downstairs, whistling as you took in his backside. “Y/N…”

“My bodyguard is hot and he should know it,” you said. He shook his head and headed into the kitchen humming to himself as he started to make up some breakfast for the two of you. The doorbell rang and you groaned. “I bet that’s my mom, early as always. I’ll get her out of here.”

“You don’t have to,” he said.

“I plan on doing things to you after breakfast and I do not want her around for that,” you said. He laughed as you padded down the hall and to the front door. You cracked it open a smidge and saw a man in a suit standing there, his back to you. He spun around with a smile and you nodded. “Oh, hi Jake.”

“Good morning!” he said. “I apologize for being late this morning, my car-”

“The meeting,” you said, slapping yourself in the face. “I totally blanked on it.”

“That’s alright. Is now a good time?” he asked. You looked down at yourself and peeked back around the door. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah! It’s perfect, all perfect,” you said.

“You’re not...are you sure-” he said before Jensen was suddenly stepping into view and pushing you behind the door. “Good morning, Mr. Ackles. You uh, appear to be missing most of your clothes.”

“It seems I am,” said Jensen. “Ms. Y/L/N is very well. She would like to reschedule for ten am if that’s possible.”

“Uh…” he said before you rolled your eyes and opened the door all the way. You stared at him and he looked between you both. “Oh. Gotcha. You two…”

“Mhm,” hummed Jensen, crossing his arms.

“Jake would you mind setting up in my office? It’s just down the hall. Jensen and I were about to eat breakfast. We’ll only be fifteen or so minutes,” you said. He stepped inside and you pointed the way, Jensen pouting as you headed back into the kitchen. “Oh, I’m still gonna do things to you. Just tonight, pouty boy.”

“Alright. You told me David was going to be your manager I thought,” he said, going back to the fridge to get the eggs.

“Well I went with Jake. Is that a problem?

“No. I need to be made aware of decisions like that though. I’m going to have to work with him quite a bit for events, your work schedule, that stuff,” he said. 

“I thought you’d be happy. You said you liked him.”

“I do. I am happy. I’m just not happy that you didn’t tell me.”

“He’s been my manager for like a day, calm down,” you said. He put his hands on the counter and you saw him drop his head, his back to you. “Jensen, no evil person is out there looking to snatch me away the second you turn your head. It was one day.”

“In the future, please make me aware of staff changes when they happen?” he asked. He looked back at you, his face softer than you were expecting.

“Okay,” you said. While he whisked some eggs in a bowl, you walked over beside him, watching over his arm. “Looks good.”

“I haven’t even done anything yet,” he chuckled. You rested your head against his arm, Jensen adding in some spices to the mixture. You scooted up on the counter as he went to the stove, watching him scramble them on low, pouring in a dash of cream.

“Can I ask why the Jake thing bothered you?” you said quietly. He scrambled the eggs for a minute before sliding them onto a few plates.

“Because I have a bad feeling that there is someone out there that wants to hurt you and I have nothing to go off of besides a gut feeling and trusting that you’ll be honest with me, always. You didn’t do anything. I overreacted.”

He got out a pair of forks from the drawer, handing you one along with a plate.

“Your gut feelings are normally right?” you asked, taking a bite of the eggs.

“Normally. They were at the restaurant,” he said. You nodded, putting a hand on your arm where a barely there bruise was. “I’m sorry if I hurt you that night.”

“I get hurt worse walking into a wall cause I’m dumb. You had me on the ground before I even knew what was going on and stopped that guy from doing who knows what to everyone. I’m not sorry about that.” He was quiet but gave you a nod. “Your eggs are great. Permission to brag granted.”

“Thanks,” he said, the doorbell ringing again. “I better get dressed. We’re gonna talk about getting a gate at the end of the driveway too by the way.”

“I second that,” you said as you heard the front door open. “Oh my God, my mother, just walks wherever she wants.”

He took off upstairs, ducking down the hall just as she walked into the kitchen.

“Hi mom,” you said. “You are...three hours early.”

“I know, you have work things. I wanted to make you some food you can have for leftovers the next few days. You have hardly any food in your house,” she said.

“Ma, I can barely cook and most of the time, I don’t have the actual time,” you said. She rolled her eyes and you hopped off the counter.

“Well I’m here so might as well,” she said. You glanced up to the balcony and saw Jensen pop into view wearing some jeans and a long sleeve henley. His holster was clipped on under his shirt and you smiled as he came down. “Oh, good morning, Jensen.”

“Mrs. Y/L/N,” he said.

“Any particular reason my daughter is wearing your shirt and no pants?”

“Uh,” he said, opening his mouth when she made a face.

“Two plates of eggs? You think I was born yesterday?”

“No mam. Your observational skills are impressive,” he said. 

“Mom, could you lay off. We like, just started dating,” you said.

“Can you cook?” she asked him.

“A bit,” he said.

“Bodyguard, he can cook and he’s handsome. He’s fine by me,” she said. You put your head in your hands, your mom whacking your shoulder. “You’re so overdramatic. Now get out of my kitchen. We’ll get lunch and shop later. I assume Jensen is coming with us?”

“I would love to spend the day with you ladies but I trust you two will be okay on your own. I’d like to go over some things with Y/N’s new manager if Y/N’s okay with that,” said Jensen.

“You will join us for dinner though, won’t you? We’re going out with Chuck and the boys. Our treat,” she said.

“Mom,” you said, getting a look from her. “Jensen always goes out with me at night, that’s our rule. I’ll pay for his meal.”

“But we’re taking you kids-”

“He is my employee. You don’t-”

“He’s your boyfriend who happens to work for you. I’m paying for his dinner, alright?” she said. You held up your hands and padded out of the kitchen, Jensen following you upstairs. 

“I’m sorry about her,” you said back in your bedroom as you started to pick up last night’s clothes. “She’s-”

“She misses her daughter. She’s happy I’m here. It helps her sleep better at night,” he said. “Told me herself.”

“I love her. I love her to death but I was a kid when my dad died. I know it was hard for her but for six months, until she met Chuck, she acted like I didn’t exist. She likes to forget that sometimes.”

“People grieve differently,” he said. “Still, it wasn’t on you to do that.”

He took the dirty clothes from your hand and cupped your cheek, kissing your temple quickly. 

“Don’t know how anyone could not notice you. Good thing I get paid to stare at you all day,” he smirked. You lightly smacked his chest, Jensen giggling. “As much as it pains me to say it, get that tush dressed. We’ve got a very long meeting with your manager this morning.”

That Afternoon

“What about this one?” asked your mom, holding up a dress.

“You know I hate award shows,” you said.

“I mean for tonight. Or a date with Jensen sometime,” she said. You did your best to keep your face neutral but she caught the slight down turn of your lips. She slammed the dress back on the rack and put her hands on her hips. “What? All morning you have been short with me.”

“Mom I just started dating him like half an hour before you got to the house. You are going way too fast. I have dresses and I honestly wasn’t even going to say anything until it got more serious.”

“You pay him to protect your life. How much serious does it need to get?” she asked. You rolled your eyes and she made a face. “You barely pick up the phone and talk to me anymore.”

“Cause you changed after dad and not in a good way. For a little while, I lost both my parents. Even after Chuck, you two were so involved with each other you didn’t spend as much time as me as you did before dad died. When I was a teenager, when I really needed my mom, you weren’t there all the time. I’m sorry I grew up to be independent. But-”

“Do you think I don’t realize that? I know I made mistakes,” she said. She sighed and took a seat on a bench outside a waiting room. “I just want you to be happy and Jensen...I haven’t seen a smile on your face like that since before Brian died. He makes you happy, even when you two looked so annoyed with one another earlier in the week, he would stare and you would stare. I feel good about this one. I just want you to enjoy falling in love, if you do end up going that route with him.”

You sat down next to her and shrugged, crossing your arms. You leaned back against the wall and rubbed your sneaker against the floor.

“How do you know that’s your guy,” you asked quietly. “I mean, you’ve done it twice. How do you know?”

“It was different with Chuck. I was slower to admit to myself that I was in love with him. Your father was very quickly. I didn’t share that information with him until much later but I knew, a part of me, the part you don’t justify with logic or facts or details, that part always knew. It knew with them both. Nowhere does it say you only have to have one soulmate. I know you don’t want to hear that but I love them both equally, Y/N.”

“Mom, I love Chuck. It’s not the same as dad but I do. He makes you happy and he tries to be a dad to me but he gives me the space I need too. I’m happy you have him. I’m happy we both do.”

“Why do ask how you know the man you’re with is the one?” she asked. “Or are you asking because that part you can’t explain already told you something you’re not even willing to think yet.”

“I was curious was all,” you said as you stood.

“You’re a horrible actor,” she said. You pushed on her shoulder and she laughed. “Fine, fine. No more boy talk. Let’s try another store. I’m at the very least not letting you walk out of this mall without a new pair of heels.”

Later That Night

“Y/N?” asked Jensen outside your bedroom as he knocked on the door. You checked the back of your fancy bun one last time in the mirror before you walked out and into the room.

“One sec,” you said, bending down and putting on the five inch heels, zipping them up in the back. After a moment of looking yourself over in the mirror in a sleek, mostly backless black dress, you opened up the door. Jensen was in a tailored black suit with a deep navy tie. “You look-”

“Wow,” he said, looking you up and down. “You look so fancy.”

“Fancy?” you laughed. “Is this because you hardly ever catch me out of my sweats?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the sweats and the leggings. I love all of it,” he said. 

“You look very handsome,” you said, skirting past him and hearing a quiet whistle. “Knew you’d appreciate that.”

“Damn right I do,” he said as he caught up. “Ready to head out?”

“After you.”

“That’s great you guys found a house,” you said an hour later at the restaurant, mouth full of some cheese fries. Nick rolled his eyes at you and you licked your lips. “Wha? I’m hungry.”

“Actually it’s for mom and me,” said Chuck. You raised an eyebrow and he smiled. “I’m a writer so I can work from anywhere and your mom got offered a great position at a clinic here.”

“That’s great guys. I’d love to get to see you more,” you said. You looked at Michael and he had a curious smile on his face. “Did you get a house too?”

“Penthouse apartment hopefully. We’re looking at some tomorrow. Gonna be on my own for the first time. Nick and I talked and he’s not sure if he really wants to move out here yet. We decided we’d see what it’s like living apart for the first time,” he said. 

“Worst case I can always get a professor job at one of the colleges if I change my mind while I try to get into a school district,” said Nick while he played with the remnants of some crust on his plate. 

“You’ll come eventually,” said Chuck. “Get everyone living in the same timezone again. It’ll be good.”

“So are you two like a thing now?” asked Michael to you, looking as innocent as could be while he hid his shit eating grin.

“Yes,” you deadpanned. Jensen looked up from his salad but you went back to eating. For the most part the evening was what you were expecting. Your step-brothers acting oh so pleasant in front of your parents and Jensen getting a few questions about his job. You did smile though when Jensen was able to upstage Michael about some law usage. You were pretty sure even Michael was impressed with him at that point.

“That went well,” said Jensen an hour later after you’d parted ways with your family and were walking back to your car. “Michael’s growing on me. He seemed better tonight. Nick not so much.”

“I’m actually really proud of him for getting his own place. I get that they’re twins but they’re in their thirties. Neither one of them has had a girlfriend in years.”

“Michael’s like a workaholic though,” said Jensen, holding your hand when you walked past a guy in a jacket with his hood up.

“True. Maybe he’ll cut back some out here.”

“How do you think Nick will handle that?” he asked. You stopped walking and pulled out your phone. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t particularly like Nick most of the time, don’t get me wrong. But he might do something stupid,” you said as you dialed your brother. It rang a few times before he answered.

“Yeah?” he said.

“Hey Nick. You want to come over tomorrow while Michael apartment hunts?”

“Uh, sure,” he said and you knew he must have been around your parents still.

“Great. Come over around noon. We’ll have lunch and a swim or something.”

“Okay. See ya.”

You shook your head before you were walking again, Jensen bumping your shoulder.

“Something I need to know about?” he asked.

“The file you did on Nick, what’d you find.”

“Arrest record for when he was young. A few drunk and disorderlies, nothing Michael couldn’t ever get cleared up for him. Hospital stay for a few days in his twenties when he fell down some wet stairs. I’m going to go ahead and guess out of all of that he didn’t fall, did he.”

“No,” you said as you stopped outside your car.

“What happened?”

“I came home from school early and Nick had tried to kill himself,” you said. Jensen blinked a few times and you let out a dry laugh. “It’s hard to surprise you but I think that took the cake.”

“You need to tell me everything.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a threat to you. You can’t see it but I can. He doesn’t like you and if he’s tried that before, it means-”

“Can we talk about this at home?” you said when you saw someone down the street recognize you. He nodded and they wandered up, asking for a few pictures. You posed and put on a smile, Jensen watching careful with a hard look in his eye.

“Woah, woah,” said Jensen half an hour later as you sat in the family room at one end of the couch in some sweats and an oversized tee, Jensen sporting a similar look but wearing the hoodie you’d given him. He had a notebook by his side but he’d put it on the coffee table in favor of throwing his hands up. “He tried to do it in your bedroom? He left a note on your bed?”

“My closet,” you said. “My closet had attic access so he’d tied a rope up on a beam. He had just kicked the chair away when I walked in. I was skipping last period. Senior year and all.”

“What’d you do?”

“It was very obvious that Nick knew he’d made a mistake. I grabbed him and held him up as best I could until he could untie himself. He fell down pretty hard cause I couldn’t hold him anymore and landed on all the junk lying on my closet floor. He told me we were gonna lie and say he fell down some stairs to account for all the bruises.”

“Why’d you help him lie?”

“Cause I thought he tried to kill himself because of me. I thought he hated me that much. He was in my bedroom after all,” you said.

“You read the note?”

“Jensen-”

“I need to know, Y/N.”

“Why?”

“Because my job is to protect you from threats. If your step-brother doesn’t like you and now his whole family is moving away from him to be closer to you, depending on a lot of things, this could get messy.”

“Jensen-”

“Did you read it?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“And?” For a moment you looked past him and outside, Jensen’s foot nudging yours. “I’m sorry but I gotta know.”

“He felt like a failure. He was in the car with his mom when she died. He saw how well Michael did and I did and he felt distant from his dad and he felt like his life was crumbling around him and honestly, he wanted to go be with his mom again. He felt like he didn’t belong. I fucking bawled reading it.”

“You guys ever talk about it or was it over like that?”

“I slapped him in the face and told him he was pathetic. His mom, my dad, they didn’t get a choice to live or die. I was so angry at him. He apologized and he promised me that if he ever felt like that again, he’d tell me. A few years later, he came to me and thought he might do something stupid.”

“His teaching sabbatical he went on.”

“He got some professional help. I paid for it all. He stayed out here, nearby. I visited him everyday on the way into work. He got better. He learned a lot about himself, how to cope, how to deal with things in his life. He still sees a therapist every week I pay for on the down low.”

“He’s no threat to you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he loves you and you love him, even if you don’t like one another or act like you care. If something bad were to happen, he would help you and you’re gonna do it right back.”

“How do-”

“Because your step-brothers who are assholes to you at times, they wanted to ensure that I would protect you when I first met them. I think it’s finally all clicking into place,” he said. “Hence why you never say a word about their behavior to your mom.”

“I will take prickly siblings over dead ones, even if I didn’t pick them,” you said.

“Are you worried Nick will take a bad turn with everyone else moving here?”

“I don’t know. I know he associates this place with bad memories, some of his darkest memories. I don’t blame him for not wanting to live here,” you said. Jensen nodded and ran his thumb over his lips. He propped his elbow on the back of the couch, resting his head in it.

“I’ve always thought you were kind. But helping your brother like that, in secret when I’m sure you want to tell your family, that’s not easy.”

“Yes, it is. There was never really a decision to be made though. The only one was to tell my parents and Michael and as long as Nick is honest with me, I will keep his secrets from them.”

“You’re more loyal than some of the people I served with,” he said, looking out the back windows. “It’s only an easy decision if you’re a good person. I wish I’d worked with more of those.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. He smiled and ruffled his hair, frowning after a moment.

“Jared saved my life you know. After I healed up, I transferred to his unit.”

“He’s a good guy to call your friend,” you said. He hummed and you crawled over to him, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m glad we’re finally friends.”

“Me too,” he said. He pulled you into his lap and rested his head on your shoulder. Your fingers ran through his hair, eyes drawn down to how his back flexed and relaxed. “Sorry for playing twenty questions with Nick. I won’t say a word to anyone, including him.”

“S’okay. Just doing your job.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost nine. Why?”

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“Counter offer. We make out in my hot tub and then go to bed.”

“Counter counter offer. I make ice cream sundaes we eat in said hot tub and then make out and then go to bed.”

“I’ve always had a thing for intelligent men,” you said. You kissed his cheek and he chuckled. “You’ve never seen me in a bikini before, have you.”

“I’m in for a treat then, aren’t I?” he said. “Go on and change.”

“I’ll meet you out there,” you said. You departed from him and headed upstairs, poking around in your closet for the perfect one to put on. You spotted him come out of the hall in his orange and blue striped shorts, a whistle on his lips as he jogged downstairs. In your closet you took a seat on the small bench, holding up your black teeny tiny bikini and your aqua blue that honestly made your butt look great.

You opted for the black top and blue bottoms to get the best of both worlds. You were midway through pulling your shirt off when you heard Jensen come in the room.

“Oh come on-” you said, something whacking you in the back of the head. Instantly you fell down, strong arms catching you. You looked up wearily, someone in a black mask looking down at you. The eyes weren’t green and you kneed him, putting an elbow to the back of the guy’s neck and making him groan. You got to your feet as fast as possible and sprinted out of the room. “Jensen!”

You knew you weren’t going to make it to the stairs without the guy catching you so you grabbed the railing and vaulted over the balcony to the ground below. You rolled when you hit the ground, spotting Jensen by the base of the stairs. Your eyes spun upwards, Jensen following your gaze and seeing the man standing there. You turned and saw Jensen running towards you, a loud thud right beside you. The man was on the first floor now and you ducked down, missing his arms as you dove into the dining room. By the time you had your head up, you saw Jensen tackling the guy, a gun going flying out of the intruder’s hands.

You stood up, watching the two of them wrestle, the intruder getting a good hit on Jensen’s face. 

“Y/N, go!” you heard Jensen yelling at you, the pounding in your ears finally growing a little quieter. Jensen told you when you were going over his book of rules that was the adrenaline in your system, trying to get your body to only focus on survival. The gun was laying fairly close to you and you heard Jensen shout, eyes darting over to see he had a cut on the back of his shoulder. 

He had Jensen pinned face down and was working on restraining him. He was still shouting at you and the man looked up the second he had pulled the tie taut. You ran over and picked up the gun, the man revealing a knife.

“Put that down or I kill him,” he said. You swallowed, Jensen yelling a frenzy of things at you, all of which involved you running away as fast as possible. Instead you aimed the gun and fired, the man falling backwards as it hit his vest. 

You ran over and kicked the knife he dropped away, keeping the gun on him as Jensen rolled over to it and cut himself free. He gave you a dirty look but searched the guys pockets and found more restraints, slipping some on the intruder before taking the gun out of your hands.

“Call the police. Now,” said Jensen. 

________

A/N: Read Part 7 here!

[casmybelovedass]

I'm much calmer now, but I'm still salty about this and I won't stop talking about it.

So, Sam was supposed to be the main character.

And?

Stories change. This story in particular changed many times over the course of 15 years.

It was about the brothers, yes? Both of them.

But Sam was the one with the curse, the special one, the rebel, the smart one, the one with powers, the favourite.

The Luke Skywalker. The protagonist.

Dean? Oh, he was the goofy slugger, always looking for food or women to stuff his face with. The school drop-out. Always getting in trouble.

The Han Solo. The sidekick.

(Now fucking tell me who actually prefers Luke to Han Solo fucking tell-) (also he's actually Leia but-)

So... what happened?

Jensen Ross Ackles happened.

Jensen took Dean's character skeleton and built him into one of the most complex and interesting characters to ever exist.

And the writers saw that. So what did they do?

They made Dean (if intentionally is unknown) woman&queer coded, in hopes of making him look weaker, less worthy of attention, secondary.

But that's not who Dean is:

- He's a caretaker, soft, a protector.

- He desires to be loved more than anything else in the world. He's tough, and yet, submissive. (half the time, Dean's hookups are to show he's cool and gets around easily, the other half is to show his desperate need for closure)

- Stays put and silent because that is what was taught to him since childhood. Relatable.

- He's insecure. Sensitive. Good with children.

- Doesn't allow himself happiness. Always puts others before him.

- He's repressed. Self conscious. He gets objectified, mostly acknowledged for his looks.

- He acts dumb because, sometimes, it's better to be underestimated than targeted as a threat.

- He never feels "man enough", and is reminded constantly, obv mostly by j*hn, but also by society, because men shouldn't like what he likes:

Cooking

Dressing up

The idea of having a family

Chick flicks

Panties

Musicals, pop and romantic music

Being bossed around/manhandled

Men

But, fuck you, writers. All these traits? Only made him EVEN MORE interesting.

(Guess the fuck what! Cis het men don't even make a QUARTER of the fandom!!!)

People all around the world saw themselves in this beautifully flawed human, and found comfort in him.

Realizing you can be sensitive, insecure, even weak, and still be brave, strong, the hero.

Do you realise how many FTM found themselves in Dean?

Now, I love Sam, but really, his character didn't go as far as Dean's, because they simply placed him on a pedestal reading "protagonist" on it.

Yes, they gave him the powers/Lucifer/souless storylines, PTSD and a curse that kills off every woman he sleeps with, and I'm definitely making a post about Sam alone because yes.

But apart from this? They didn't give us much.

He had SO MUCH potential for more. And I'm sorry he couldn't have as much an exploration as Dean (or Cas).

Speaking of which. Castiel.

My God.

He is the definition of character development (both good and bad).

A character so fresh, so new to the world, LITERALLY, so interesting!

A character ment to stay only for 3 episodes, but had such an impact, he quickly became a fan favourite, and ended up staying until he end well...

The stone cold, mindless soldier, autism coded, "of God" angel, clearly so different from his brothers... rebelling against his own kind, experiencing humanity, emotions, choosing free will, believing in two little humans more than anything else in the universe, and helplessly falling in love with one.

An angel, learning how to love, through a human.

An all powerful being who is awkward, nerdy, socially anxious, autism&queer coded.

And what did they do?

Stripped him of his powers, basically reduced him to a lamp [AAAAA] in a corner, tried killing him off MULTIPLE TIMES, threw a bomb in the makeup/hair trailer and slapped an orange filter on Misha to make him less appealing.

Well, excuuuuuse you if I like these ones better than "I was pre-lawboy"

They just had SO MUCH MORE to offer.

And, let's be honest here, apart from soulless, trials and hunter chief storyline, when has Sam been the focus after season 5?

They gave us a decade of married drama, slow burn, breakups, widower arcs, Casifer, Deanmon, human Cas, Michael!Dean, THEE Empty Deal™️, Purgatory, CAIN PARALLELS, A SON, and so on.

But please, do tell me again how doing a 360 and going bUT sAm WAs tHE OG mAIn chArACtEr wasn't just an audience thirst trap for w*lker

[writingtoforgetreality]

Come Together - Little Movie Star Chapter Five (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter 

Summary: It was finally time to meet the Padalecki’s. What if they did not like you? You were expecting a lot of things but you certainly were not expecting this. Were you dreaming? You had to be.

Words: 1,912

Warnings: language, Jared being a hugger (you’ll understand why I put it here), being uncomfortable, scared of having to go back, surprises, kinda a filler chapter but important for the future of this story

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

Tonight, the Padalecki’s were coming over. When Jensen broke the news to you, you were excited but equally nervous. Danneel drove the kids over to their grandparents so they would not disturb you during dinner. Not that they ever annoyed you. The exact opposite, actually. You loved having them around. But you were supposed to focus on Jared & Gen tonight.

The thought of them getting to know you scared the shit out of you. They were the Ackles’ best friends, after all, & you wanted to leave a good first impression behind. It took you some time to figure out what you wanted to wear for dinner. It would be held at home so you did not have to overdress but at the same time, you found dressing nicely to be convenient. After changing your outfit one too many times, you settled on a simple look. While it was nothing special, you did feel confident in it. And confidence was definitely something you needed later today.

Spending hours in the bathroom was not planned, it simply happened. You wanted to look perfect. Danneel had told you that there was no need to worry, that they would love you just as you were. Being a fan of them for a long time, you knew they would never judge you by they way you looked. It just was not in their nature. Still, it could not hurt to put effort into your look, right?

When you woke up today, the first thing you did was checking your phone. You knew you should not but sometimes you felt the need to. By now, everyone knew about you. And while the hate comments were becoming less & less, some days, you only noticed the negative responses. Of course, the media had picked up on the fact that you were a new person they could write about. There was not much to report about you, though. Some paparazzi had shot a few pictures of you over the time of you living in Austin. At first, you were creeped out by the idea of being watched 24/7. Now, you were dealing with it way better. When you were seen with Jensen, you posed for the pictures & it was fun to mess with them, really. Besides your first Instagram post, you had been quiet on social media. The hate wave still needed some time to die down & you did not want to add fire to the flame by posting more stuff about your new life. Surprisingly, the articles that had been written about you were mainly positive. Of course, a couple of them were looking for drama but because of your silence on social media, there was not much they could write about.

Walking out of your room after checking your look in the mirror for the hundredth time, you saw that you still had an hour left before they would be coming by. You could ask Danneel if you could help in the kitchen. She had insisted on making the main dish while the Padalecki’s would bring over dessert. Danneel heard you walking in & gasped when she turned around to look at you.

“Wow, (Y/N). You look gorgeuous.” blushing at her words, you thanked her.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” walking over, you could already smell the delicious dish Danneel was preparing.

“You could set the table if you don’t mind?” she asked you & you immediately got to work, grabbing everything necessary to put on the table.

Hey, Dee?” you were at a point where calling her by her nickname did not make you uncomfortable anymore. Yet, if you had to be fully honest, being in Jensen’s presence calmed you more. Comparing your relationship to the beginning, though, the both of you had improved by a lot. And you were grateful that your trying was not for nothing.

“What’s up?”

“Where’s Jensen? Shouldn’t he…I don’t know, be here already?” you knew he was not the person to be late, especially not for something as important as this. Okay, it was just dinner but he was aware of your nervousness even days before. Danneel informed you that he was at the Padalecki’s house & would arrive right in time with them. Okay, good. At least he did not forget about it.

Ever since you had arrived in Austin, Jensen’s filming schedule was all over the place. The crew wanted to give him more time with you & the change in his life. This ended up in him flying back & forth from Vancouver to Austin almost every couple of days. It was exhausting & you had reasoned with him to focus on his work entirely, that you guys would be okay here. But nope, Jensen wanted to be there with his family & you appreciated his efforts a lot. A lot of weekends, he was at conventions all across the country but he always managed to stop by & spend time with you all. He was great.

There was knocking on the front door & you knew it was them. Danneel asked you to get the door & you were silently preparing yourself. You had multiple conversations in your head & hoped that one of them would be fitting. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door. Damn, you knew Jared was tall but he was tall. You were pulled into a bone-crashing hug before any words were exchanged. Right, you knew Jared was a hugger, you had seen enough videos of him admitting that. Still, you were getting used to physical touch & his hug did more bad than good. You hated yourself for feeling that way, there was no need to be scared of hugs.

“Easy, pal. Let her go.” Jensen rescued you by tapping Jared’s shoulder. It was as if he suddenly remembered that you actually were not one for hugs. Pulling away abruptly, he scratched the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry…” he quietly apologized. “I’m Jared. It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/N).” you could not stay mad at him, the look in his eyes & his smile was enough to forget the uncomfortable hug immediately.

“It’s no problem & likewise, Jared.” stepping out of the doorway to let them in, Gen came into view & she smiled sweetly at you. Not making the same mistake as Jared, she simply shook your hand.

“Hi (Y/N), I’m Gen. You look pretty.” would you ever stop blushing whenever someone gave you a compliment? You were not sure but it was something you could work on, you thought.

“Thank you. It’s good to see you.” keeping your nervousness at bay, you were proud when your voice did not crack. If you acted like this the entire evening, you would be fine.

Jared & Gen walked into the house to greet Danneel & Jensen stopped you before you could follow them. Facing him, you gave him a confused look, not knowing what he wanted from you.

“I’m sorry about Jared. I told him you weren’t one for hugs but that jerk doesn’t listen very well.” Jensen felt bad that the first interaction between you guys was uncomfortable for you.

“It’s fine, Jensen, really. I knew he was a hugger.” a laugh escaped you, one that eased him a little. Now he could tell you were not mad at what happened. It could only get better from now on, right?

Dinner went by fast. It was easy to talk to them & while they did ask you a lot of questions, they were never uncomfortable. They knew where the line was that  should not be crossed. At least for the time being.

“So, (Y/N).” Jared started.

“Yeah?”

“I heard a rumor that you’re a fan of Supernatural?” he gave you a smile that showed you that he knew the answer to that question already. You nodded your head.

“Started watching about three years ago.“

“That brings me to my next very important question. Who’s your favorite? Sam or Dean?” oh, he did go down that road, great. You could feel Jensen’s eyes on you & Jared was looking way too confident. Honesty was important, right? Well, then you might as well confess.

“Actually…Cas is my favorite.” you admitted. Both, Jared & Jensen, gasped & acted as if the world just ended. You laughed at their antics. They could be such children.

“That’s my girl.” Danneel spoke up & high-fived you. Yeah, you could get used to that group of people.

Danneel & Gen left Jensen, Jared & you alone, knowing what they were about to tell you. Jared had brought you a little gift. It was one of his hoodies from the newest “Always Keep Fighting” campaign. The one with the “Family Has Your Back” logo. After thanking him, you immediately put it on, loving how it fit you. It was a little too big on you but that made it even comfier.

“We have to tell you something.” Jensen started. Oh no. Usually, when people from your past started a conversation like this, you were sent back the next day. Wait…Would they really do that? After everything?

“O-okay?” hiding your nervousness was not possible anymore. Jared noticed you trembling hands & eased your mind before you got the wrong impression.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s a good thing, I promise.” again, Jared’s smile had an effect on you. Maybe it was because he was so empathetic.

“Remember when you told me that you enjoyed acting a while ago?” Jensen continued after you nodded, “I managed to get you two auditions. They are online, so I can be there with you this entire time. That is, of course, only if you wanna do this.” your eyes widened at his words. Had you heard him right? He got you auditions? Plural? That was literally one of your biggest dreams.

“So?” Jared asked when you were silent for a few seconds. You just needed time to process everything. But holy shit. Of course you wanted to do this!

“I’d love to! What are the auditions for?”

“One is for being a main character in season 13 of Supernatural & the-“ Jensen was cut off.

“WAIT WHAT?! You’re kidding, right?”

“He so isn’t kidding.” Jared chimed in.

“And the second one?” everything was too much right now. How could you possibly deal with this information without freaking out?

“A role for the next Avengers movie.” Jensen finished. Yeah, sure, why not?

“How? How did you get these auditions for me?” you were shocked to say the least. What was happening?

“We do have some connections.” Jared winked at you & this time, it was you who pulled the both of them into a hug. Jared looked surprised while Jensen just smiled. He appreciated whenever you initiated physical touch, knowing it was not easy for you.

After the talk, Danneel & Gen joined you guys again & you excitedly told them about your upcoming auditions. That was so foreign to you. Having upcoming auditions. Even though they made sure that you understood that they could not guarantee anything, you were more than grateful that they even got you this opportunity. Supernatural & Marvel, both fandoms you loved wholeheartedly. And now you had the chance to be play an actual part if everything worked out. And how you hoped it would. Your life had changed so much lately & it could change even more now.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (04/17/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth​, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121​, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes​ (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)