#janus sanders fanfiction
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Devil’s Nectar
Summary: What happens to Thomas and the Sides when the stressed out, responsible man drinks wine after Putting Others First? Hint: it involves humor and character development.
This is my first fix-it fic, and it comes at the request of @heavy-metal-papillon, who came up with the premise of the fic! I hope you enjoy this!
A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience.
TW: very light angst, like almost no angst, fairly heavy drinking, drunkeness, and a bit of social awkwardness.
Word count: 1469
AO3 here!
Fic Masterlist here!
Ughhhhhhh, why’d they have to be nice? Why couldn’t they be rude? That would be so much easier! Wait, shit, no it wouldn’t what the fuck is wrong with me?! No, it’s okay, bad thoughts don’t mean I’m a bad person.
Thomas took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. Guess I’m not the only one having a crisis. Shit, poor Roman, poor… everyone.
He turned idea after idea over in his mind, trying to figure out how to repair the relationships between his Sides. He was realizing more and more how very little he actually knew about them. He could see why Roman would be upset, hell, Thomas figured he himself would be pretty pissed off. And Virgil, Janus, and Remus had a history, and it didn’t seem very positive.
Thomas took a break from his thoughts to ground himself. Looking around the room, his eyes landed on the video lights.
I just released a video, I should be good for a while. No meetings tomorrow, everyone’s getting a break… fuck it.
He pushed himself up from the couch, walked over to the cabinets, opened them, and realized he had no wine glasses left. He felt Logan looking over his glasses at him.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Thomas muttered. He grabbed his largest coffee mug, opened a cheap bottle of wine, and filled his mug. He downed half of it in one go, coughing a bit at the end. He refilled his mug, grabbed the rest of the bottle, and flopped onto the couch. A noir film, Lost Highway, caught his attention. He was sold when he saw it had Bill Pullman in it.
He drank mindlessly, until the movie was almost done and he went to pour himself another mug of wine, when no more wine came out of the bottle. Thomas frowned.
I don’t even feel tipsy, is this wine company ripping people off? He stood, or at least tried to, but fell back on the couch.
Oh shit. Guess they’re not ripping people off.
Thomas leaned back and spread his arms over the back of the couch, only for Virgil to appear.
“You good?” Virgil slurred.
Thomas raised his eyebrows. “You good?”
Virgil swayed, said “No,”, and fell onto the couch, face on the top of the cushion. Thomas sighed deeply and patted his head, earning him a hiss.
“You’re drunk, I gotta protect you.”
“And you’re doing awesome. I’m not injured.”
“Dope.”
Thomas chuckled. “Didn’t realize I was drinking that much.”
“And you’re a lightweight,” Virgil added, voice muffled.
“Whatever, you’re worse off than I am,” Thomas teased.
“I’m your autono- autota- automor- I’m your breathing brain stuff, I’m gonna get more affected.”
“‘Breathing brain stuff’?”
“Shut up.”
Thomas laughed heartily.
“I believe what Virgil was trying to say is ‘autonomic nervous system’.”
Virgil snapped and finger-gunned at Logan. Thomas and Logan got Virgil situated so his head was laying on Thomas’ lap, and in less than a minute he was passed out. Logan kept infodumping as he got a blanket and glass of water for Virgil.
“...ethanol is broken down in many steps, most notably in the liver, where it is broken down into acetaldehyde via interaction with alcohol dehydrogenase. Acetaldehyde is extremely toxic and a powerful carcinogen, but it’s usually quickly metabolized into acetate, and then turned into water and carbon dioxide in places besides the liver. Acetate has many industrial uses, and is the base for many more complex molecules...”
Thomas nodded and made sounds at what he hoped were appropriate intervals, alcohol causing him to lose track of the conversation frequently.
“‘TIS I, YOUR CREATIVITY!!!”
Thomas and Virgil both jumped, although Virgil settled quickly, not fully regaining consciousness.
“Do not wake the Virgil,” Logan warned.
Roman waved carelessly, and the next moment Virgil had thick headphones on.
“There! Now our emo won’t hear a thing!” Roman declared. “Who wants to sing karaoke?”
Thomas looked down at Virgil, who was sleeping soundly. “Sure, why not.”
“Wonderful!” Roman summoned a speaker, microphone, and lyric display. “I’ll begin! Celine Dion, what do you have in store for us tonight?!”
“Celine Dion?!” Patton said excitedly, rising up next to the couch. “Oh Roman, you’re always such a good singer!” his voice cracked as he started getting choked up. He brought his fists up to his face and whispered, “You truly have a gift.”
“Well of course I do!” Roman said as the opening strains to My Heart Will Go On. Patton sat down next to Logan, moved to tears by Roman’s performance. Logan gave him a tissue and awkwardly patted his back while spouting facts, more quietly now that Roman was taking the spotlight.
A few more songs later, and Patton had settled against Logan, who was starting to drift off. Thomas had cracked open another bottle of wine to keep his buzz, and Roman was living for the attention.
“Thank you, thank you! What shall I sing next?”
“How about Evil Night Together?”
Roman jumped and looked at Janus warily. “I do quite enjoy that song, I know how it goes of course, but it’s been a while since I’ve sang it.”
Janus twirled his hand, and a sparkly yellow and black microphone appeared in his hand. “I can accompany you, if you’d like?”
Roman was still watching him from out of the corner of his eye. “Accompany?”
Janus nodded his head, looking Roman head-on. “Yes, accompany. It’s your turn to take center stage.”
Roman was still for a moment, before nodding and sending Janus a small smile. “Right then. Shall we?”
The opening strains played, sultry chords moving through the air.
“I'll hold your hand while they drag the river
“I'll cuddle you in the undertow
“I'll keep my hand on your trigger finger
“I'll take you down where the train tracks go
“Let's wile away the hours
“Let's spend an evil night together”
Patton was watching them, transfixed. Logan had fully passed out, lightly snoring with his head leaning against the back of the couch. Roman started singing less confidently, and Patton gasped in shock.
Janus took over, switching to sing the first part while Roman took the harmony.
“Who's gonna make you a hero
“Who's gonna blow you away
“Who's gonna make you a hero
“Hold it right there
“It's a multiple down in solitary
“And you'll uncover the evidence
“Shanghaied by a fishnet stocking
“I'll hold you close while they dust for prints.”
Roman looked at Janus, surprised. Janus met Roman’s gaze, earnest and vulnerable. Roman straightened his back, the ghost of a smile on his face.
“No need for cake or flowers
“Let's spend an evil night together.”
The song died down, and Roman grinned, offering his hand. Janus took his silently, and they shared a firm handshake while Patton squealed.
“I’m so happy for you two!!”
Roman puffed out his chest. “Glad you are, padre!”
Patton bounced in his seat. “Let me get Logan settled, and then let’s dance!!”
He got Logan a blanket and a glass of water to match Virgil’s while Roman and Janus set up an elaborate dance floor.
“Will you be joining us, Thomas?”
Thomas affectionately patted Virgil’s shoulder. “Nah, I’m a pillow right now, and I think I’m too drunk to dance anyways.”
“Fair enough! Let’s dance bitches!” Roman exclaimed as he snapped. Disco lights came on, and Patton joined the two other Sides on the dance floor.
“Do you remember
“The very first night of September,”
Roman lifted Patton by the waist and spun him, Patton and Thomas laughing. The songs cycled through, the Sides never losing energy, until a slow song came on.
Roman was panting. “I should sit this one out, I need to hydrate!” Roman sat on the couch next to Logan, closed his eyes, and immediately began snoring loudly.
Patton giggled quietly. Janus moved to stand in front of Patton.
“Patton, may I have this dance?”
Patton bit his lip. “You sure? I’m no good at dancing.”
“That’s quite alright, I can lead.”
Patton smiled meaningfully. “As long as you lead, we should be good.”
Janus swallowed to hide how choked up he was getting. “Very well.”
Thomas watched as the two new friends danced slowly, Patton giggling and looking down nervously, and Janus carefully leading him through simple steps. The song wound down, and Janus waved the scene away.
“I think it’s time to get some sleep, what do you think?” Patton asked.
Janus just nodded over towards Thomas, who had joined the other Sides in sleep. Patton smiled.
“Good point. I’ll… see you later, Janus?”
Janus smiled, unguarded. “Yes, you will.”
The next morning, everyone was hungover, and Roman, Virgil, and Thomas barely remembered a thing, but they didn’t miss how much more comfortable Patton and Janus seemed around each other.
#janus sanders fanfiction#sanders sides fanfiction#janus sanders#patton sanders#thomas sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#sanders sides#ts sides#sanders sides fanfic#alcohol#crack#humor
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Truly *Nothing* Is Spookier Than Self-Care
Summary: Janus absolutely despises being accepted by Thomas and the Light Sides. He can’t help but notice how they very much do not put themselves first. He decides to change that.
A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience. This story comes from this ask by @foreverfangirlingalways! Thank you so much for the inspiration and the wonderful prompt! I hope I did it justice!
TW: very light angst, like almost no angst. Small amounts of stress and mild flailing to adapt when the plan doesn't go perfectly.
Word count: 2648
AO3 here!
Fic Masterlist here!
Although Janus was grateful to be accepted by his Host, an aspect of such that he absolutely loved was seeing just how dysfunctional the Light Sides were in their self-care. They certainly had a great deal of work to do, but they held themselves to such high standards, they seemed to constantly move around every waking moment. Janus had been attempting to get the Light Sides more focused on taking care of themselves throughout the day, but the key word here is attempting. They’d thank him for his suggestion and promise they’d do it later.
Janus wondered why he was the one stuck with Deceit as a name.
It was now time for more drastic measures that he hoped wouldn’t land him with a giant frog again. He knew he’d have to go one at a time if he wanted any chance of success, so he decided to target each Side according to the level of concern he had for them. Naturally, this meant Roman would be his first vict- *cough* recipient.
He found Roman precisely where he’d expect him: inside his en suite gym, hair damp with perspiration.
“In the gym again? Don’t you have anything else to do with your spare time?” Janus asked innocently.
Roman started and placed the weight he’d been lifting on the ground. “Greetings Janus! And I do, there’s just always room for improvement!”
Hm, direct won’t work with him in this. Interesting. “I was wondering if you might help me with a sewing project, although I see you’re busy.”
Roman grabbed a nearby towel to wipe his face. “I’m never too busy to assist a Side in need! What is it you’d like my assistance on?”
Janus hummed. “I was hoping to experiment with a few costume ideas for Halloween. I think a pirate might be suitable for me.”
Roman grinned, excitement beginning to shine in his eyes. “Indeed! Allow me a few minutes to wash up, I’ll join you!” He waved his hand. “You’ll find two sewing stations in my room!” He pranced off to the bathroom without another word.
“Don’t take too long!” Janus called after him, hoping he wouldn’t have to wait much longer than an hour for the prince to get his appearance in order.
He only had to wait a half hour before Roman joined him in the room, hair still slightly damp. Janus internally cheered when Roman didn’t have his ridiculously complicated prince uniform on, instead wearing a red sweater with pumpkins stitched on.
“Roman, would you mind trying on the clothes once I’ve finished them? We have similar body types, although you’re more muscular, and my current outfit is simply a bear to get on and off.”
Roman blinked in surprise. “I… I suppose I could, are you certain you want me to do that?”
“If you wouldn’t mind, yes.”
After another moment of prolonged shock, Roman pulled himself together and struck a pose, exaggerated grin on his face. “Well far be it from a prince to forsake a Side in their hour of need!”
Janus smiled, relieved. “Wonderful.” He summoned his nearly-completed pirate costume: tight black pants, calf-high boots, and a billowy shirt with a deep V-neck. “I’m just about to finish these, would you mind taking a look at the seams on the outside of the leg and in the armpit of the shirt? I want to make sure I’ve pinned those in a way that won’t pull.”
Roman and Janus discussed the different options they had for stitching, and once they’d decided Janus had Roman put in the stitching for the pants while he finished stitching the shirt. Janus was pleased that Roman had decided to go for a more complex stitch; he knew the Side enjoyed getting absorbed in a task, and that he enjoyed sewing. Sure enough, after an hour, he looked over and saw Roman’s irises sparkling in red and gold, tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth. 4 hours later, and they’d both finished.
Janus stretched, watching Roman bounce slightly in his seat from excitement. “Well Roman, we did good work. Would you try these on?”
Roman hesitated, then forced himself to smile, Janus watching him carefully. “Certainly! Are you sure you don’t want to?”
“I am, I’d hate to keep getting in and out of my outfit, especially if changes need to be made.”
Roman inhaled deeply and took the clothes, holding them carefully. “I shall not dilly-dally then! I shall return soon!”
Janus plastered a wide smile on his face. “Wonderful!”
That was another thing, the sheer amount of smiling the Light Sides did and how he found himself going along with it. It made his face hurt at time from the sheer amount of smiling.
Roman emerged, posture stiff and forced but proud. Janus raised both eyebrows.
“Roman, you look wonderful! Stand in front of the mirror, won’t you?”
The prince shuffled over, eyes darting between himself and the ground.
Janus appraised the Side before him, and was relieved he wouldn’t have to lie about a single thing. “Goodness Roman, you like incredible! The skin-tight pants look wonderful on your legs, and the shirt highlights your figure! I must say, I’m quite jealous. I’ve been also considering going as a bard this year, why don’t you just take this costume? I shows off all of your muscles and your broad shoulders especially!”
Roman looked at him, surprised. “Are you certain? You’ve spent so long on this, I couldn’t possibly-”
“I am, I’ll enjoy knowing you’re enjoying something I made. Come now, Thomas is tired, and it’s best to look in the distance to prevent eye strain. Would you like to watch some Disney movies?”
Roman frowned and looked back towards where his en suite gym was. “I really should be getting back to a workout…”
“Nonsense, you’ve been working out so much, and you’ve been working hard in other areas. You’ll be more productive after some rest.”
Janus let out a breath when Roman shrugged and summoned a large television. He got some beanbags and snacks for them, and Janus watched as Roman slowly relaxed and got engrossed in the movies, eagerly agreeing to watch one after the other. Once dinner rolled around, Janus suggested a famILY movie night, which got Patton on board, which meant everyone would attend. Roman had changed back into his pumpkin sweater, and Janus was the last one awake, pleased to see the other Sides asleep, surrounded by snacks and illuminated by the glow of the television. He sank out to his room, and planned his next intervention.
/////
Janus waited a week so as to not draw any suspicion to himself, and found Patton in the kitchen. He was typing furiously on a tablet, Thomas currently working through whether or not he should use his celebrity status to get ahead in line so he could get back to editing a new video faster so he could get that out to his fans so he could-
He pulled his mind back from Patton’s, reeling slightly.
You need this more than I thought.
Janus backed up a bit, then walked more heavily to announce his presence to Patton. Patton looked up at him happily.
“Heya Janus! What can I do ya for?”
Janus smiled easily, the cheerful Side great at lifting moods. “I see you’re in the middle of something, but once you get a moment, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping me bake something? It’s a skill I’d like to acquire.”
Patton lit up. “Well sure!! Give me just a few minutes and I’ll be right with you!”
Janus set a tea kettle to boil and put a mint tea bag in Patton’s mug and a black tea bag in his own. Just as Patton sighed and set the tablet on the table, the kettle went off and Janus poured the water before Patton could do it. He didn’t miss how Patton rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck.
He gently set the mug of tea in front of Patton. Patton lifted and smelled it, closing his eyes.
“Mmmmmm, mint, my favorite!”
“Oh really? Lucky guess, I suppose.”
Patton looked up at him knowingly. “You’re good at guessing,” he teased.
“Thank you for noticing. I’ve noticed that Thomas’ Sides have been quite busy lately. Do you think a chocolate beet cake would go over well?”
“Do I?!” Patton asked, eyes shining and the edges of his irises glowing light blue.
Patton donned plastic gloves and got to work peeling and grating the beets, while Janus combined the wet and dry ingredients in separate bowls. He asked Patton for reassurance on occasion, despite being confident in his abilities. He let Patton take over once it was time to combine everything and put it in the oven.
Patton tapped his finger against his chin. “Hmmmmm… what kind of frosting should we do? I’m thinking either buttercream or ganache, what do you think?”
Janus shrugged. “Why not just store-bought frosting? It seems easier.”
Patton looked at him incredulously. “For a beet cake?! Oh no, we may as well make something while it’s baking!”
Shitshitshitshitshitshit- Janus frantically thought back to the brief research he’d done on cakes.
“How about ganache? I’ve always been intrigued about that.”
“Sure!” Patton chirped. Janus let out a breath as Patton bounded over to the fridge to grab heavy cream. Patton showed Janus how to make ganache, and Janus was surprised and relieved at how simple it was.
As the cake cooked and the ganache cooled, Janus and Patton chatted amicably, Janus asking questions about something Patton would bring up and watching Patton’s eyes become bluer and bluer as he kept talking. The oven pinged, and Janus convinced Patton that a game of cards was in order while they let the cake cool. One game led to five, and by then it was time to gently reheat the ganache and pour it over the cake.
Patton jumped when he realized the time. “Oh gosh!! I’m so sorry, I don’t have dinner planned! I can-”
“Don’t worry about it Patton,” Janus interrupted. “I actually have a recipe I’ve been meaning to try out if you don’t mind relinquishing the kitchen?”
Patton smiled nervously. “Do you want any help?”
I might have to adjust my plan. “No, but I would like some pleasant company. You’re on your feet so much, it’s good to soak them.” He summoned a bucket filled with warm water and a bag of lavender-scented epsom salts. “I won’t be long.”
Patton poured some of the epsom salts into the bucket of water and groaned and whimpered at the relaxing sensation on his feet. Janus turned and allowed himself a small smile, then cooked up some 4-ingredient Italian chicken breasts from a recipe he’d found online, along with some roasted veggies and some pasta aglio e olio on the side. He set the table when Patton had his eyes closed in pleasure, then got everything served and helped Patton massage and dry his feet.
After dinner, in which everyone complimented the cooking, Patton declared he would go to bed a little early tonight, so Janus sent him upstairs with some chamomile tea. He cleaned the kitchen, and felt rather accomplished.
Roman and Patton are taken care of, thank God. He chuckled to himself. Up next, two for the price of one!
/////
Janus stood in front of Logan’s closed door, holding a pencil and large pad of paper, uncharacteristically nervous.
I’ve been able to fool Roman and Patton, but Logan is smart. He may see through this.
He knocked on the door, uncertain of his success.
Logan answered the door, every hair and fiber of clothing in order. “Hello Janus.”
Oh dear Lord in Heaven, this man needs to relax. Janus put on his best smile. “Hello Logan. I’ve become rather fascinated with the constellation Serpens and was wondering if you’d help me chart it and some stars and constellations around it? I’m afraid this is out of my area of expertise and I know this happens to be a field you’re familiar with.”
Logan looked at him skeptically. “You want to chart the stars with me,” he deadpanned. “You have no ulterior motives?”
“None whatsoever,” Janus said.
Logan looked over Janus’ shoulder at the wall, upset.
He knows you lied, salvage this! Janus sighed, pushing it a little. “Truth be told, Logan, I would like to get to know you more, and although I truly am interested in learning more about the constellation of the snake, spending time with you was my ultimate goal.”
Logan looked surprised, a faint blush on his cheekbones. “Oh. I suppose… that would be satisfactory.”
Janus leaned on all of his acting abilities to look relaxed. “Excellent. Would your room suffice?”
“It would.”
Janus laid his pad of paper and pencil on the floor where Logan indicated, and timed his next move while Logan was looking over his books.
“Say, Logan, you and Virgil seem to enjoy each other’s company, shall we ask him to join us?”
Logan stopped flipping through the thick tome currently in his hand long enough to raise his arm in a summon. Virgil rose up and grabbed his head.
“God L, how are you guys not constantly dizzy?” Virgil jumped when he saw Janus. “Oh! Hey, what’s up guys?” Janus made sure to hide his endearment for the anxious Side when he saw Virgil cringe
“Janus would like assistance mapping the constellation Serpens and the surrounding night sky. He suggested you accompany us,” Logan explained without raising his eyes from his book.
Virgil looked between Janus and Logan. “Just like… hang out?”
Janus decided to step in. “Yes. I noticed you seem to enjoy the company of others, but aren’t always interested in participating.”
Virgil offered a soft smile. “Yeah, I guess… that’s chill. Mind if I just listen to music and stuff?”
“Not at all,” Janus and Logan said at the same time.
Virgil snorted, then flopped on the bed, put in an earbud, and started up his phone.
One down, one to go.
Logan sat in front of Janus, irises already dark blue.
Two down, it seems.
Janus listened intently as Logan spoke at length about Serpens, and then about related constellations, and then about related galaxies and stars, with Janus asking questions along the way. They charted out Serpens and filled the large piece of paper with other stars and constellations, and even Virgil would chime in every now and again.
Janus definitely didn’t almost get emotional when he saw how relaxed the two normally-tense Sides were.
When Patton knocked on Logan’s door for dinner, Virgil swore.
“Shit! Did I miss something? Did Thomas need me?! Fuck, I-”
“Relax, Virgil,” Janus soothed. “I kept an eye on things, Thomas is just fine. See for yourself.”
Virgil’s eyes grew distant for several long moments before refocused. He blew out a breath.
“Okay, whew,” he sent a grateful look towards Janus. “Thanks man.”
Janus waved. “Not a problem. Let’s not keep Patton waiting.”
Janus followed the two Sides downstairs, feeling victorious at how relaxed their shoulders were. Virgil was even walking with proper posture!
Dinner was a relaxed affair, the Sides content and laughing easily. Remus was chattering on about one thing one moment and another the next, with Logan offering feedback and Virgil changing the topic for Patton’s sake. Janus ate, not admitting how nice it felt to be included in famILY mealtime. It took him til nearly the end of dinner to realize no one was watching him out of the corner of their eye.
They trust me, he realized.
By the end of the night, he stretched out on his bed, pulling his heated blanket up to his neck.
What a waste of time. Totally not worth it, he thought to himself as he planned his next meeting with Roman.
#janus sanders#janus sanders fanfic#janus sanders fanfiction#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides fanfic
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