#janus sanders fanfiction

[lefaystrent]

"I want to tell you something."

Thomas speaks the words into the quiet of the kitchen. He stares down at the pot of water sitting on the stove. The burner has been lit, and the heat rises. Soon, the water will boil.

"And it's- it's something that I've thought for a long time now. Years. But I've never said anything."

The smallest of bubbles rise to the surface. Over his shoulder, Thomas can see Patton sitting at the bar.

"It's okay. Take your time," he says. His nose scrunches up as he smiles. His glasses reflect a scattering of kitchen light.

Thomas snorts. "I think years is enough time." He breaks a bundle of pasta in half, letting them fall gently into the steaming water. He adjusts the temperature, then shifts on his feet. "I've just...never said anything," he repeats.

"You don't have to say anything at all." Janus sits at the bar instead. He wears a frown, and he's leaned over the surface with his chin in a propped palm, but the patience in his gaze belays his bored demeanor. "If you don't want to, you don't have to. I certainly won't force you."

Want to? No.

Thomas shakes his head and stirs the pot. "I think I need to."

"Do you?" Logan sits at the bar. His arms are folded over his tie, but it's not an intimidating pose. It's careful. Considerate. "I'd like you to take a moment to 'check yourself before you wreck yourself', as they say. Is that how you use that phrase?"

Thomas rolls his eyes, and yet he's smiling. This is a heavy topic, but it's not constricting. He stirs the noodles easily and they begin to fold together like they were made to. "I'm okay. I don't need to think about it more. I'm not anxious, not really."

"Yeah?" And now it's Virgil sitting at the bar. He stops as if he had been caught in the middle of playing with the string of his hoodie. Then he smooths down the front of his clothes. No ruffles here. He nods. "Good. That's good. That's good, right?"

Thomas still smiles. "Yes, that's good." The pasta softens as it swirls around the water. Round and round it goes. When will it stop? Nobody knows.

"Well don't just keep me in suspense!" Remus slams his hand down on the bar. And then he does it again and again, maybe just to hear the smack, smack, smack. He's not grinning maniacally or anything. Just a quirk of his mustache. A glint in his eyes. A cocked brow. "You know I love a good tease... but this is playing too coy!"

Thomas heaves a huge sigh. "I guess I just..." He trails off. He knocks the spoon against the pot's rim to shake off the water. He sets it aside. "I just don't want this to change anything."

The warmth of the burner blankets his face. The stove vent thrums above his head, and distantly Thomas hears the air conditioner click on. A light sheen of perspiration beads across his face, but its not wholly unpleasant.

Would it be bad? If this did change anything?

Roman sits at the bar. His shoulders are low, like all the breath has left him. He watches Thomas calmly with sad eyes. "What have you got to lose?"

In the pot, the pasta swirls and swirls until it's ready.

"I love you," Thomas finally says, and he turns to look over his shoulder to find that it's himself who sits there.

The other him beams proudly. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

Satisfied, Thomas flicks off the stove burner and drains the water in the sink. He stirs together noodles, hamburger meat, and red sauce, until its in perfect measures, just the way he likes it.

After making himself a plate, Thomas sits at the dining table. He is alone with himself, and he's alright with that.

[sleepyvirgilprompts]

Virgil:

Virgil: Nope. No way. Absolutely not, not right now. Goodbye, good night, Janus go fuck yourself.

Janus: And the same to you.

[prodigal-explorer]

sanders sides controversial opinions poll!

hi, guys! i've been in the sanders sides fandom for a few years now, and i've been really curious about where the majority of fans stand in terms of the most hot topics in the fandom right now. i made a nice little google form, and i'd love it if you guys filled it out with your opinions, anonymously, of course! there are no wrong answers, it's just opinions, and i want to know the real information, so don't worry about getting flamed or hated on because that's not going to happen!

also please reblog or send to your fander friends! i want this to reach as many interested people as possible!!

[just-want-fluff]

are sander sides people still alive here?

[the-bisexual-bitch]

I need more analogical in the headspace. I don't want AUs, I want my two Little Autistic Guys shoved together in the brainspace because Virgil is having a Bad Time and none of the more 'emotional' sides are available (they were helping Thomas or something), so Logan helps. Or Virgil just SPECIFICALLY wants to be around Logan.

I need more of them being specifically described in the brainspace and looking different from Thomas. I need more of them being mildly upset that they don't look like themselves when they're helping Thomas.

I need more of the darksides and lightsides being basically two weird semi-funtional poly relationships.

I need more of Virgil having been in an unhealthy relationship with one of the Darksides and thinking he got away from them

I need more of Janus actually biting people and having venom.

I need more angst around Virgil feeling like he's a poser who's actually Bad and undeserving of the care given to by the Lightsides

I need more of Virgil not liking the phrases "Darkside" and "Lightside"

I need more of Virgil feeling infantilized by Patton and Patton struggling to get it

I need more long essays written about One Line to read and be convinced by.

(Please recommend fics, artists, tumblr accounts, etc.. I'm begging you.)

[ronithesnail]

HELLO IM NOT DEAD :D

I participated in this year’s TSS Big Bang and drew for @logarhythm-bees fic “To Unearth and Back Again” :D

@tss-storytime

Link to Chapter one:

(The rest should be out soon as far as i know)

(Closeups under cut cuz i love the closeups)

[ascenari0]

you know what my fav sanders sides fics are? The ones where like it’s deceit raising Remus and Virgil or like Patton raising Logan and Roman LIKE FOUND FAMILY.

I remember one where Virgil was adopted and soon felt.. like accepted in the family after a while and I almost died (affectionately).

If anyone has fic recommendations or you made one like this LMK PLSSS!!!

Or if you have an au literally tell me everything.

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Never Did I Truely Hate You

----

Janus doesn't expect any of the others to want him around after he's accepted. Even Remus has been acting off. So, of course, the most sensible course of action would be to avoid the source of hurt entirely.

Virgil does not agree.

----

| Ao3 |

----

Warnings: Self isolation, pretty negative self image

Pairings: Anxceit, very background intrulogical.

Word Count: 2071

Notes: Did a poll on here for which fic I should post next and this one won in a tie with another fic that I will post on Wednesday :3

I feel like I don't write very much canonverse anymore so lmk what you think!!!

----

Janus hadn’t expected everything to be perfect now that he - and begrudgingly Remus - had moved up to the light side’s commons. 

He did not expect Roman to forgive him, or become any less hostile towards him at all, after everything he had done to him. He didn’t expect Patton to want much to do with him, and he expected Logan to prefer talking to anyone but him - even Remus, who he’d spent a surprisingly long amount of time with recently, but whatever, that was none of his business.

And even more than that, He didn’t expect a single ounce of kindness from Virgil. 

Not after he’d left, not after the quips and insults and snipes whenever they’d been within hissing distance of one another. No, he didn’t even expect Virgil to want to be in the same room as him, let alone talk to him, or heaven forbid sit down at the same table as him.

So, Janus decided to intrude on their space as little as possible. It was better to avoid the emotional turmoil and annoying pain it would cause than go through it all… right? …Right??

And so that was how Janus found himself becoming almost nocturnal for the first few weeks of this new arrangement. He also just so happened to spend an ungodly amount of time in the private greenhouse Remus had made for him as an extension of his room (fit, of course, with deadly tropical plants and poisons). He sat there for hours reading, or spent time caring for the snakes that also shared the space and he didn’t come out when someone knocked.

Which was rare because, of course, no-one wanted to talk to him. 

He spent time in the commons at night, making food, eating said food, sometimes even watching a film during the dead hours of the morning. It was fine, he was fine with this arrangement, and he was sure everyone else was enjoying business as usual - you know, without him there.

So far, Janus had managed to avoid running into any side at night - aside from one time, when he came across Roman, though he was already passed out at the kitchen island, so it hardly counted. Something he should have remembered - and would kick himself for forgetting after the events that were about to unfurl because of it - was how awful Virgil’s own sleep schedule was. 

He realised this fact very abruptly when, one night at just past three in the morning, Janus went to open the fridge, only to be attacked from above and tackled to the ground by some kind of hissing creature. 

Moments later, when he gathered his thoughts just enough to will the lights in the living space to turn on, he realised that said hissing creature was actually their resident spider himself, who was now sitting firmly on Janus’ chest as he pinned him to the ground with strong hands on his shoulders. What the fuck?

“Virgil?” Janus asked after a long stretch of silence in which they both stared at each other. 

“I finally got you,” Virgil huffed, seeming a little out of breath from the violent attack, “I’ve been - trying for the last week but you’re too fucking - slippery.”

“What??” Janus asked, staring at Virgil in disbelief, “why?”

“Because you’ve been avoiding all of us since you came up here, idiot,” Virgil said, pushing a little more weight onto Janus’ shoulders, it was starting to hurt, just a little, but he wasn’t about to tell Virgil to get off - this was the closest he’d gotten to him since… before, and Janus wouldn’t lie - at least not in his own thoughts - about how big of a crush he’d always had on Virgil. So yes, he was confused as hell, but he was absolutely not going to push Virgil away when he willingly touched him for the first time in years. What could he say, he was selfish.

“And?” Janus said, trying to make sure his face didn’t betray his raging feelings the position they were in were causing, “So what? I totally expect you and the others would actually want me around.”

“...So what? Dude I’ve been worried sick! Patton asks if we’ve seen you literally every day at breakfast- what? Even Remus doesn’t know where you’ve been!” Virgil yelled, “And then- I was down here on the sofa one night and - well I guess you didn’t fucking see me or whatever but you came down and then disappeared again - so I’ve been trying to catch you every night since to work out what the fuck is going on.”

“There’s nothing ‘going on’,” Janus protested, he was pretty sure he’d lost his hat when Virgil had knocked him over, he didn’t feel too comfortable without it, “I’m just giving you all space to recover after the last episode.”

“No you’re not,” Virgil said, shaking his head with a frown, “I know you too well for that, and we don’t need space, what’s going on, Janus.”

“I-” Janus trailed off, realising that Virgil had really trapped him in a corner here - both literally and metaphorically, Virgil knew him too well, even now, he could spot his lies easily, “It’s nothing of your concern.”

“I didn’t tell the others,” Virgil said, Janus blinked, staring at Virgil’s face in confusion.

“...Didn’t tell the others… what?”

“That you were coming down here at night, that I was trying to uh - do whatever you call this,” Virgil huffed, lifting one hand from his shoulder to gesture to the position the two of them were in, “I didn’t tell them.”

“Why not?” Janus asked, frowning.

Virgil groaned and rolled his eyes, “Because I know you too fucking well, now tell me why you’ve suddenly turned into an owl instead of a snake.”

“I’m saving you all the trouble of pushing me away,” Janus snapped after a long enough pause that Janus knew Virgil wouldn’t relent, “I already know that you all totally want me here, even if Patton’s stupid gesture to accept me meant anything.”

Virgil was silent for a second, didn’t break eye contact as he hesitated, before moving his hands from Janus’ shoulders. For a moment Janus expected him to stand up, dust himself off and mention something about how he was right before walking off. Instead, Virgil sighed and flopped down so he was lying fully on Janus’ chest, head tucked under his chin. 

Almost completely on autopilot - since his brain was entirely bluescreening at the action - Janus’ arms came up to wrap around Virgil, who let out a surprised hum at the action.

“...Virgil?” Janus asked, voice wary. Everything he could have possibly expected from this interaction had just been flung out of the window with a single action.

“When Patton accepted you,” Virgil said, voice a little muffled to Janus’ ears, “I- I was angry at first, but then I just thought that like- now that they liked you I could - I could go back to liking you too, I was excited, I think, to have you back - but then you just disappeared and I - started overthinking it as usual.”

Janus couldn’t help but chuckle even if it came out a little sad, “I thought you out of everyone would want to see me the most, you definitely made that very clear in all of our recent interactions.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said, readily and without hesitation, “I was awful to you, and it was - it’s no excuse but I only did it because everyone else chose to hate you too I - I was scared I’d lose their respect over it, but - it doesn’t matter now? Because Patton accepted you so - so they’re not going to hate me for liking you, right?”

Virgil lifted his head to look at him, and Janus sighed. 

“You already know that I don’t know the answer to that,” Janus said, “and I’m sure the others will totally just like me without question now that Patton has accepted me.”

Virgil chuckled, “Roman is still mad about the moustache comment.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Janus said, shaking his head, “And I certainly don't expect that Logan isn’t still angry with me about the courtroom.”

“Okay so maybe we- we don’t tell the others about uh - this,” Virgil said, resting his head back on Janus’ chest. 

“I totally know what’s happening right now,” Janus said with a sigh.

“I’m lying on you.” Virgil said, matter of factly, “B’cause you’re cold and strong and nice to lie on.”

“Okay, well this floor is definitely soft and warm and comfortable,” Janus pointed out, “So if you want to continue to lie on me may I suggest we move somewhere that wont give me back problems?”

“Oh right, yeah of course, sorry if I hurt you, when I uh - tackled you, by the way,” Virgil said, almost immediately getting up, looking a little sheepish. 

“It’s fine. Would you like to watch The Black Cauldron?” Janus asked as he sat up, changing the topic, “I think there’s a DVD of it around here somewhere, we could lie on the couch…?”

“You… remember that I like that film?” Virgil asked, sounding oddly quiet, Janus turned from where he had begun walking over to the couch, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

“Of course I don’t,” Janus said, “It’s not like you made us watch it every other week - interchanged with The Nightmare Before Christmas - without fail since Thomas first watched it or anything.”

He couldn’t help but delight in the way that Virgil’s face flushed red, despite him hurrying to join Janus by the couch. 

“I had almost forgotten about that,” Virgil admitted, “I’ve barely watched it since being over here.”

“I haven’t watched it since you left,” Janus sighed, “I highly doubt I remember the plot.”

Virgil smiled tentatively, “I’ll probably fall asleep before it finishes… but… that just means we’ll have to watch it again at some point, right?”

“Of course, let's take this opportunity to watch it now, shall we?” Janus said, summoning the DVD case in one hand whilst offering the other to Virgil. There was a long second of hesitation during which Janus could almost feel his world crumbling around him as Virgil didn’t take his hand, for a second he thought this must have been a trick, to have a relationship he wished for so badly dangled in his face and then snatched away again at the last second.

But no, that couldn’t be right, Virgil might be sarcastic, mean at times, but he wasn’t cruel and he certainly wasn’t dishonest enough to pull such a stunt so sincerely. Which meant…

“Are you alright?” Janus asked gently, taking back his hand. 

“Oh yeah, Yeah i’m okay,” Virgil lied, Janus raised an eyebrow, “Okay fine, no I- when I left I just- sorta maybe convinced myself that you guys hated me and I just- I didn’t expect you to be so… I definitely didn’t expect you to remember my favourite film, or- or want to cuddle while we watched it.”

“It’s not like I expected you to be any kinder towards me,” Janus replied, face going soft, “But… maybe it’s safe to say neither of us actually hate each other?”

Virgil snorted, “Yeah uh- maybe not, I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” Janus answered, “And I’m sorry too, honestly.”

There was a second where Virgil just took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “Thank you, I forgive you too.”

“Good,” Janus smiled, putting the DVD into the player before sitting down on the couch, patting the seat next to him in invitation, “Because we’ve missed a lot of weekends - so we’d better make up for all the lost viewing time, hm?”

“I think we’d get bored if we watched it that much,” Virgil couldn’t help but laugh, flopping down on the couch next to him and immediately leaning into his side, and God had Janus missed this. 

“Perhaps,” Janus nodded. 

“Maybe if you actually came to the movie nights we tried to invite you to we’d have more things to watch,” Virgil murmured as Janus pressed play. 

“You tried to invite me to movie nights?” Janus asked, tilting his head. 

“Yeah - we all took turns knocking on your door every time we did one, you never answered.”

“...oh.”

“Now shut up, the film’s starting.”

Neither of them made it halfway through the film before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

-----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @littlerat2 @goldnskyart (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[lovelylogans]

the parent trap

the masterpost

“So,” Remus says slowly. “If your Dad is my Dad…”

“...and your Pa is my Papa…”

Remus stares at the seam of the wedding photo, made whole again after more than a decade. His Pa, Patton, familiar with his cowboy-handsome, weather-beaten face and his dimpled grin and his big, calloused hand resting over his new husband’s, even if Remus has never seen him look this smitten ever. 

“And we’re both born on October 11… then, Roman. You and I are… like… brothers.”

And his Dad—Janus—smiling coyly, handsome in the way of magazine models, so completely a stranger to Remus with just this scrap of a photograph to serve as any way to know him, really know him. The way Roman knows him. The way Remus has been dying to know him all his life.

“Remus,” Roman breathes out, disbelieving. “We aren’t just brothers. We’re twins.”

Remus wonders, in a daze, if seeing the opposite life he could have had is as strange for Roman as it is for him… if they’d just been switched at birth, it’s the life Remus could have had, knowing his Dad instead of his Pa, but then…

But then it clicks.

“Roman,” he says, turning to grin at his brother—his brother! “I have a completely perfect, totally awesome idea!”

or: it's a parent trap AU for @tss-storytime with fanart by @tastic-in-its-finest!

warnings: pranks and practical jokes, smoking, drinking, brief mentions of underage drinking (in the context of a child trying a sip of wine), sibling rivalry and bonding, please let me know if i've missed any!

pairings: janus/patton, logan/virgil, brief patton/male oc

word count: 80k

notes: a few notes before we begin: first, thanks so much to morgan for their fanart for this fic!!! it's so cute, please like and reblog and do all that fun stuff!!! second, thanks to the folks over at the big bang for organizing this whole event—i know firsthand how complicated that can get, and you are so appreciated!!! this is technically a '90s au, but a '90s au in terms of the fashion and lack of social media/cell phones, not any of the homophobia. i hope you all enjoy!!!!

chapter one: prologue Across the world from each other, two very different families help two very similar boys pack their bags.

chapter two: welcome to camp walden! Welcome to what we like to think of as the most beautiful spot on God's green earth—Camp Walden.

chapter three: en garde The boys come to blows. (With practice épées, but in their minds, it’s equally as serious.)

chapter four: riposte The boys come to blows. (With words and stitching.)

chapter five: black card The boys come to blows. (With a temporary reversal of gravity, oodles of chocolate sauce, and finally, some semblance of adult interference.)

chapter six: isolation station The boys spend a great deal of their time considering coming to blows. Until suddenly, they don’t want to fight at all anymore.

chapter seven: operation augustus The realization of having an identical twin does quite a bit to spur some out-of-the-box levels of creativity.

chapter eight: let's get down to business! The boys begin to plot. Camp Walden trembles in fear.

chapter nine: to defeat… the family civil divisions of napa and london respectively! The boys plot. The world all over ought to be trembling in fear.

chapter ten: domine dirige nos Remus spends a great deal of time weighing the most British way to say hello. He’s going to have to repress throwing in a what’s all this then, guv’nor? the entire time.

chapter eleven: eureka! Roman spends a great deal of time weighing the most American way to say hello. He thinks he probably shouldn’t come right out of the gate with howdy, y’all!

chapter twelve: a wench in the works This absolutely was not in their multitude of blueprints!

chapter thirteen: riding is magic and friendship is power and love is everything to everyone Roman gets to meet his pony. He should, by all rights, be much more excited about it, but someone had to go and ruin it for him.

chapter fourteen: in which virgil attempts to hold a poker face (and fails miserably) Virgil curses being so observant.

chapter fifteen: all of my change spent on you Remus has a particularly fun run-in. Well. Fun for him.

chapter sixteen: so your sons have swapped places and are in foreign countries This particular subject was not covered in the parenting books.

chapter seventeen: hopped off the plane at lax with a dream of civil reconciliation with my ex-husband Remus plots. Grandfather aids and abets. Janus panics. Logan suffers them all.

chapter eighteen: small world and getting smaller Janus is officially the father of the two most troublesome twins in the galaxy.

chapter nineteen: you got me tripping, stumbling! sinking, fumbling! Patton makes a splash.

chapter twenty: the queen elizabeth the second the second The twins attempt to revive the past. The parents wish to change it.

chapter twenty-one: i said a boom chicka boom! Logan’s swept off his feet. As is Maddox, in an entirely different way.

chapter twenty-two: i said a boom GO TO YOUR ROOM The twins’ plots bear oh-so-satisfying fruit.

chapter twenty-three: where dreams have no end A hello, a goodbye.

chapter twenty-four: the concorde(ance) A goodbye, a hello.

chapter twenty-five: epilogue Two very similar boys help their two very different families assimilate into one.

[the-aerispace]

HEAR ME OUT!!!!!!!!

Dungeon meshi Sanders sides fic.... what if what if what if....

"I-is this cannibalism??" Watching Janus, a half-naga eat a basilisk.

"So," Remus starts. "Which one of your parents fucked a snake?"

Janus blinks, and sighs. This will be a long fucking journey.

There's also the idea to make Janus the mad mage?? Or make the Dragon Witch the mad mage? Making creativitwins the descendants of the golden kindgom?? Possibilities are ENDLESS

[tss-whumper]

please believe me - a sanders sides whump one-shot

summary: roman has always been a little bit more fragile than he wants to admit. he gets dizzy spells and vertigo, and struggles to walk often because of this. but when he discovers that he can use a cane to better his mobility, he's amazed and delighted...until he tells the other sides, who do not take this well.

word count: 4.3k

content warnings: internalized ableism, ableism, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, bullying, emotional abuse, concussions, dry-heaving, all of the sides except for roman, remus, and logan could be seen as unsympathetic.

Roman liked to consider himself strong. Though he knew that all of the other sides were stronger than him physically, he also knew that he had a lot of stamina and fortitude of his own. After all, he was the only side who would regularly go on adventures of his own imagining, slaying pretend dragons and running through the forest. He also knew that he was often the one asked to do strenuous tasks, because he was the only one who had the energy to go from start to finish without slackening even a little.

But lately, that energy had been burning out quicker than usual.

Roman would be walking through his imaginary forest, and then suddenly, his vision would blur. His head would hurt. His heart would pound. And he would stumble and fall, gasping to catch his breath as his heart raced. But by the time he realized what was happening, he was on the ground, and it was going away. At first, Roman thought nothing of it. Probably lack of nutrition. So he ate more. It helped a little, but not a lot. Lack of sleep? He got his beauty sleep, ten hours a night. But even when he increased to eleven hours, the dizzy spells did not stop.

The longer it went on, the worse the spells got. They would last longer, and be more severe. There would even be times where Roman had to stay on the floor for minutes at a time, just to get his heart to stop pounding and his body to stop trembling. He was always thirsty, always hungry. No matter how much he ate and drank. And he started to grow wary of going into his forest alone. What if he collapsed and couldn't get back up? Each time he fell, it grew harder and harder to pick himself up. It started to feel like his bones were becoming brittle and useless.

Until one day.

He went for a little walk after a frustrating argument with Remus, making sure to keep close to his bedroom door, just in case. But this time, when his vision blurred and he teetered to the side, he held out his arms, grappling for something to keep him upright. And his hands wrapped tightly around a branch of a tree. The dizziness was still there, and Roman could see the world around him moving. But he was still. And he knew that he was still, because the branch did not move. The branch kept him steady, and helped him figure out where to slowly and shakily move his feet to keep walking. The branch made things feel less terrifying, like he had more control over his body and the situation.

It was revolutionary.

Ever since that day, Roman started to cling to branches and trunks and whatever he could to keep himself upright. And it went from being whenever he felt dizzy to all the time, that way, it didn't take him by surprise, and he would know that he had something to hold onto if the dizziness came on in a flash, as it tended to. And Roman felt so safe and secure, and more than anything? He felt brave again.

---

"Janus, your cane is so pretty," Patton marveled one day as all the sides gather for a movie night, "You never did tell us what it's for. Is it just for decoration?"

"Not really," Janus shrugged, sitting on the couch, "It's to help keep me from putting too much weight on my weak joints. It's just easier to walk when I'm holding onto something."

Roman's eyes went round as saucers when he heard this. He stared at Janus' cane, black polished wood, with a curve on one end for Janus to hold onto, and a flat base on the other for it to keep his body steady on the ground.

"You mean you just use the cane, and it keeps you from falling down?" he blurted before he could stop himself.

Janus wrinkled his nose, clearly confused by Roman's fascination with his cane and his disability. He pulled his cane closer to himself.

"I don't fall down," he said, "But it does help with keeping me upright when I'm feeling a lot of pain."

The other sides asked their own questions about Janus' cane and his disability, but Roman couldn't hear any of it. All he could think about was that cane. It was just like the tree branch in the forest. It kept Janus grounded, it gave him something to support himself with when his body gave out. It was perfect.

Roman gracefully excused himself, rushing to his room, stumbling inside and falling to the ground as another dizzy spell hit him. But he didn't mind being splayed out on the carpet, grinning like a child in a toy store as he started to conjure up a cane. The perfect cane. It wouldn't be black like Janus'. It would be red, so Roman could always find it. And instead of having a curved area for the hand, it just went out horizontally a few inches, and the handle was a nice plush material that was nice to hold. The bottom was flat like Janus', but it was wider. Roman thought about the strong trunk of the tree, how the wider the foundation was, the stronger the tree stood. Roman made the bottom of his cane about two inches wide, so that there was plenty of sure flatness for him to lean upon.

And then, it was finished. Using the cane, Roman struggled to his feet, clutching the cane tightly. Getting up was much easier when he had something to hold onto. The world rocked and spun around him, but as he gripped the plush handle of the cane, Roman didn't feel so scared. He didn't feel like one wrong step would cause him to crash back down. Slowly, he dragged the cane forward, and then, he took a step. He did not lean heavily on the cane, but he did rest about half his weight on it. The cane was perfect for orienting himself. Letting his body know where it was in space.

It was amazing. Roman almost cried from joy. How did it take him this long to figure out such a simple solution to his problem? Now, he would never topple over from a dizzy spell again!

---

The very first day Roman walked to the kitchen with his cane, he was all smiles. He dragged it gently in front of him, the way he had in his bedroom. Now, it was decorated beautifully. Roman had gone to the forest and delicately wrapped chains of dried flowers around his cane, making for a simple but elegant decoration. Roman felt as if he was glowing from the inside out. Every step was so certain. Every step felt like flying.

"Roman, what the hell is that?"

Air deflated from Roman's chest as he heard the intense hostility in Virgil's tone.

"It's my cane," Roman said, smiling at Virgil as widely as he could, though fear danced in his eyes. "It helps me walk. I get dizzy a lot, and I've been falling over. The cane keeps me from falling."

"You fall over," Virgil repeated, very deadpan in his delivery, "I've never seen you fall over."

"Well- yeah, it mostly happens in the forest," Roman explained, "When I've been running and playing for a while. But sometimes it comes on all of a sudden. I'm glad I found the cane before it happened in front of any of you guys. It's very unbecoming of a prince to be collapsing at random!"

But Virgil did not laugh at Roman's lighthearted remark. His gray eyes narrowed and he stared at the cane for a long time.

"You know, I hate Janus," he said slowly, "You know that. I hate him more than Thomas hates carrots. But there are some lines you can't cross when making fun of him. I can't believe you'd do something like this, Roman. It's a real jackass move."

"What...?" Roman felt tears form in his eyes, "What are you talking about? What's a jackass move?"

"This! All of this!" Virgil cried out, gesturing to the cane, "Faking some dizzy thing to try and get attention? To try and make some sort of mockery of Janus' literal disability? That's not cute, Roman!"

Footsteps could be heard, and Patton and Janus entered the hallway from the kitchen. Patton was holding a mixing bowl. Janus was holding a spoon in one hand, and his cane in the other. Roman was trying his hardest not to cry, biting his lip so hard that he could feel blood dripping down his gums inside his mouth.

"What's going on in here, kiddos?" Patton asked, "It's a Saturday morning, there's no need to yell."

Then, Patton laid eyes upon Roman's cane. And Janus did too.

"It's another one of Roman's little ploys for attention," Virgil hissed, glaring murderously at the creative side, "He must have seen Janus' cane yesterday and gotten all pissy. Because the attention wasn't all on him."

"That's not true!" Roman choked out, desperate for support as he gazed imploringly at Patton, "I swear, it's not true- I- I've been getting dizzy for weeks! Before I even knew about Janus' cane, I was struggling with this- why won't you believe me??"

"If you were struggling, why didn't you tell us?" Janus asked quietly, "Everybody knows that little Princey can't keep a secret to save his life. Why now? Why this?"

"I..." Roman choked on air. "I didn't want to worry you guys. I didn't know what it was, and- I was trying to fix it on my own. I don't understand. The cane helps me walk, just like it helps you."

"Roman, honey," Patton said gently, approaching Roman and placing a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure you do get a little dizzy from time to time. That's normal for somebody as active as you. And your diet isn't exactly the healthiest, what, with all that fruit you eat. So much sugar, and you barely eat anything at mealtimes."

"I eat plenty at mealtimes," Roman tried to reassure, "I swear it. This isn't something that can be solved by that stuff- at least, I don't think so."

"I know you want people to pay attention to you," Patton interjected, his voice gentle, but his eyes glistening with a warning, "I know you like being the center of everyone's focus, buddy. But you're a big, strong prince! You're Roman. You're supposed to be a valiant and brave prince. Don't you want to be a prince, Roman?"

"Of course I do," Roman whispered, a tear rolling down his face.

"Can you name any princes who use a cane?" Patton asked sweetly, and when Roman faltered, Patton continued, "Exactly. You're a big boy, Roman. You don't need stuff like this. Let's leave the canes to the actual disabled people, alright? It's the respectful thing to do, sweetheart."

Roman started to feel dizzy. He was not sure if it was from a dizzy spell or from the extreme overwhelm of emotions that were weighing him down. Perhaps it was both. All he knew was that he needed to get out of here. He gripped his cane and turned to go, but he found that something was keeping him there.

Virgil's hands were holding tightly onto Roman's cane, keeping him from moving it. Roman's fragile, trembling fingers were no match for Virgil's strong and certain ones.

"Please," he whispered, "Give me my cane."

"No," Virgil glowered, "You can walk ten steps to your room by yourself. I know you can. I've seen it. You're being a real dick, Roman. I just want you to drop the act, okay? I'm not asking for much."

"I need my cane, please," Roman begged, more tears dripping down his chin and his upper lip. "I feel dizzy."

"Of course you do," Janus muttered, rolling his eyes, "Of course you magically feel dizzy while we're calling you out. And here I was thinking I was Deceit."

Janus turned and walked back into the kitchen. But Patton stayed standing in the doorway, and Virgil stayed holding Roman's cane.

"I'm not backing off from this," Virgil said, "Go. Walk."

Roman realized that he was outnumbered by a long shot. Nobody pitied him. Janus was giving him the cold shoulder. Patton was staring at him with such disappointment in his eyes. And Virgil looked ready to kill him. There was nothing Roman could do. No other way to escape.

Slowly, his grip on his cane loosened. Immediately, Virgil snatched it from underneath Roman, causing the dizzy man to stumble. He caught himself, but it was clear that Roman was trembling wildly, not just out of fear, but out of fragility. His vision was going blurry, and it kept blacking out on him. His heart was pumping blood through his body so fast that Roman felt as though he might burst from the inside out.

But he had to walk. He had to escape.

Slowly, he put one foot in front of the other, even though he couldn't tell which way was truly forward. The ground seemed to zig-zag and contort. But Roman closed his eyes, hoping that the lack of vision would help him better figure out how to move in a straight line. It did not. He only felt more unsure. But when he opened his eyes again, he felt his knees give out, and before Roman could get his bearings, he had crashed down onto the bright white carpet of the hallway.

He didn't even hear the thud of his body hitting the ground. But what he did hear was the cruel, barking laughter of Virgil.

"You can't fool me, Roman!" he called out, "That's some good acting, though!"

"Roman, come on, honey," Patton goaded, "Walking is not hard for you. I've seen you do it hundreds of times. No more of this silliness, okay?"

Acting.

Silliness.

Maybe Patton and Virgil were right. Maybe Roman was faking all of this. Slowly, he tried to sit up. His head hurt so badly. A whimper escaped Roman, but he kept going. He had to keep going. He had to get away from the laughter, from the stares.

So he pressed his hands tightly onto one knee, and tried to prop the other upwards. So he could try to stand up. But as his body lifted off the ground, shaking like a fawn's, the walls and the ceiling swirled around him in such a confusing and dizzying haze that Roman fell right back down again. White hot pain burst through the wrist he fell on, and a sickening crack resounded through the hallway.

Roman waited for more laughter and taunting. He waited for more critiques, more chastising. But none came. Only a deep bellow from a voice that was typically so composed that it sounded like a computer.

"Give me the cane, Virgil."

Roman blinked blearily. He was facing away from where Patton, Virgil, and now, Logan, were standing. He could not tell if Logan was mad at him like the others were, but he could hear Logan's quiet footsteps moving towards Roman's shaking body.

"You gonna beat him with it?" Virgil sneered, "I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from Mr. Anger Issues, but maybe Roman deserves it. He's being such a bitch about this whole thing."

"Maybe he needs a little punishment," Patton agreed solemnly, "I'm not a violence guy. You know that, Logan, but- well...Roman isn't listening to us any other way."

Roman froze up for a moment. Was Logan really going to beat him with his cane? There was not a lot of strength left in Roman's body, but what little he had, he used it to curl up tightly, protecting his neck with his hands, and tucking his head between his legs. He held his breath and waited for the first strike.

But none came.

"This is ridiculous," Logan snapped, "Utterly ridiculous."

The logical side leaned down towards Roman, trying to make eye contact. Roman looked up, but everything was foggy and hazy. He could see three Logan's, but at the same time, he couldn't quite make out the details of any of them.

"I'm sorry," Roman mumbled, "'m so sorry...I didn't mean to- to make fun of anyone, honest! I just- I- I just wanted- to- to-"

"Shut up," Logan whispered to Roman, "You're a bit dilated...you hit your head on the floor, didn't you...?"

Roman didn't know what to say. He didn't know what the right answer was. He opened his mouth to try and say something, to try and plead for mercy, but when he did so, a wave of violent nausea passed through his body, and he retched, dry heaving in writhing spasms on the floor. He had not eaten yet, so nothing came out of his body except for a few globs of saliva.

"He's concussed," Logan mumbled to himself, and before Roman could figure out what was happening, he felt himself being lifted into the air by two large and soft arms. Instinctively, Roman leaned against the touch.

"Oh, please," Patton said with a little laugh, "I never knew you as somebody to coddle, Logan. Especially Roman. You've got to know he's faking. In all the years you've known him, have you ever seen him get dizzy?"

Roman whimpered as he waited for Logan to change his mind. To stop with his kindness and drop Roman onto the floor, joining in with Patton and Virgil.

But no.

"I have," Logan snapped, "I have seen it, and if either of you had a speck of intelligence, you would have seen it too. Roman's been compensating his whole life, probably before he was even aware of it. Don't you remember when we were younger? Roman would always cling to the stair rail when going up and down stairs. Ever wonder why? In the kitchen, every single time I've seen Roman in the kitchen, he's leaning against the counter and gripping onto the side of it."

"If all of this is true, then- then why haven't you ever brought it up?" Virgil snapped defensively.

"It's not my business, first of all," Logan shot back, with just as much ferocity, "And second of all, Roman's a stubborn idiot. He would never admit to having a physical problem, especially because of the torture you two are subjecting him to the second he tries to do something about it! If I'd known that you two would react like this if I had a disability, then I would never tell you anything!"

"K- kiddo, that's not what happened," Patton stammered, "You've got it all mixed up! We weren't doing anything akin to torture, that's- that's such a nasty word, and-"

"Yeah? Is it nasty?" Logan asked, "Well then, consider yourselves nasty. You really thought I would beat Roman with his own cane when he's already showing signs of a concussion? He collapsed right in front of you, and you still don't believe him? It's clear that you don't care at all. And the problem is not the disability. The problem is that it's Roman who has it. You call Roman a fake? You're the ones that are faking, pretending that you care about him. If Roman has any sense in his head, then he'll never trust either of you again after today. Though knowing him...he'll likely give you a lot more mercy than you deserve."

And with that, Logan turned on his heels and marched out of the room, carrying Roman and holding his cane tightly. Roman could not speak. He could not move. Everything was fuzzy and far away, like he was being shoved farther and farther towards the center of the world's largest teddy bear. And throughout it all, his head throbbed, each pulse stronger and more agonizing than the last.

"It's alright, Roman," Logan mumbled, setting Roman down on a surface that he recognized as his bed.

Roman blinked and let out a soft noise as he felt his soft red comforter be pulled over his trembling body, and an eye mask be put over his tear-filled eyes.

"Sleep now, Roman," Logan goaded gently, "You need rest. I'll be here with you. Don't be afraid. Just let yourself sleep."

So Roman let himself sleep. And soon, the room was silent, other than Roman's soft snoring echoing off his bedroom walls.

---

When Roman woke up, his head hurt, and so did his wrist. And the very first thing he saw when he took off the eye mask was Logan's face, staring down at him with an immensely worried gaze.

"Hi," Roman said, a bit awkwardly, "What's going on?"

"Seriously...?" Logan asked dryly, "You get your cane stolen from you, you fracture your wrist and get a concussion due to Patton and Virgil's mistreatment, and the very first thing you have to say is hi? What's going on?"

"What am I supposed to do, make a royal proclamation?" Roman quipped softly, groaning as he tried to sit up. "Why did you say all that stuff to Patton and Virgil? Now they'll be mad at you. Besides, they're right. I am faking. This stupid cane was just a way for me to get attention."

Logan glared sharply down at Roman, causing the man to shrink back against his numerous pillows.

"Don't you ever say that again," he snapped, "You are not faking. And you did not make the cane to get attention. Perhaps you were looking for positive attention when it came to the decorative aspect. But you were not using your disability as a ploy or a game. Don't let the others convince you of something that is so nauseatingly untrue."

"Don't talk to me about nausea," Roman mumbled, "I feel like I'll throw up just looking at food."

"Well, that tends to happen when you're concussed," Logan replied, "But don't worry, Remus is coming back as we speak with some medication that should ease that. But we need to talk, if you're feeling up to it. We need to do something important."

"I'm up for important," Roman said, "Anything but more sleep."

"Alright," Logan said, and he picked Roman up, soon setting him down on a strange cot-like appliance.

Roman winced as he felt straps tighten around his form, keeping him tied down to the table. And he did not remember much after that. He just remembered feeling everything tilt up and down, up and down, over and over. Like a hazy, torturous roller coaster. Throughout it, Roman wondered if this was Logan's special way of punishing him. If Logan had been waiting until Roman trusted him to harm him the way Patton and Virgil wanted him to.

But when Logan was finished, he quickly unstrapped Roman, and placed him back onto the bed, waiting a few moments for Roman to reorient himself and feel well enough to listen and speak again.

"I'm sorry about that," Logan said, "But that was a tilt table test. I was monitoring your levels while moving the table, to check a theory I have about you. And I was correct, as I tend to be."

"A theory...?" Roman mumbled blearily, "What theory...?"

"Roman, it looks as if you have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome," Logan said, "Otherwise known as POTS. This is a medical disorder that would explain your, as you describe them, dizzy spells."

"You mean...there really is something...?" Roman asked softly, "I'm not faking it...?"

"Yes," Logan said, "There is something. But even if there wasn't something, you are not and never was faking anything, Roman. Mobility aids are nothing more or less than what they are defined as. Items that aid mobility. It does not matter the medical conditions of who uses them as long as they actually help the person in question. If you were getting dizzy spells and you found that a cane helped you in day-to-day life, then whether or not you have a medical disorder, that is a valid thing you can do."

"But Patton and Virgil said-"

"Patton and Virgil are wrong," Logan said firmly, "And so is Janus. It was abundantly clear that you were not mocking or making fun of anything. You were not playing a prank. They were merely uncomfortable with the idea of you being more fragile than they expected. They didn't want to challenge their preconceived notion that you were some...invincible, endlessly strong caricature."

"Princes are supposed to be strong," Roman murmured, his eyes dimming, "Patton's right. There isn't a single prince who uses a cane."

"You are very strong, Roman," Logan protested, "Regardless of whether or not you have a cane, your physical and mental fortitude are unmatched. Why, I don't know anybody else with so much energy, even in the morning. I don't know anybody else who has the determination to live out each day the way you do. It's...astounding. It's admirable. The cane is inconsequential. All it does is help you. The amount of help you need from an inanimate stick does not determine your strength."

"Thanks, Logan," Roman said after a long moment of bewildered silence, "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"I know we have our qualms," Logan admitted, seeming a bit embarrassed, "But nobody deserves the abuse you endured. The abuse you've been enduring. You shouldn't have to hide your struggles to be treated with respect. I won't agree with you on everything, but...I'll always believe you, Roman, if you come to me with a personal problem. I trust you."

That was the only thing that Roman had wanted to hear in the whole wide world at that moment. By the time the door opened and Remus was there with medicine, Roman was crying, and Logan's eyes were a little bit teary, and Remus was admiring Roman's cane and threatening to light it on fire, the way that siblings tend to.

"I love you both," Roman sobbed, a wide, grateful smile on his face, "Thank you so much. Thank you for believing me."

---

(hee hee. yes i have pots and i am projecting onto roman. hush. also, i will be coming out with a part two on this one if i remember to, so stay tuned for that!)

[lefaystrent]

Distractions

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: all-star cast of platonicness

Summary: The light sides are in a sad state of affairs. The dark sides are pretty good at offering distractions.

-------------------------------------------------------

Logan sits on the living room couch, head in his hands, slumped in defeat. Despair. Failure.

He's slightly jostled by someone else sitting on the couch.

"Aliens aren't real," comes Virgil's voice, definitive and assumedly directed at Logan.

Logan lifts his head enough to check. His glasses have made a mighty impression into his forehead but he doesn't move to adjust them. Virgil is very nearly glaring at him.

"Virgil, you yourself have created power point demonstrations centered around the validity of aliens. Since when has your opinion changed?"

"Since now. Fight me, nerd."

Logan leans back a little to properly look at Virgil. He could be mistaken for fuming, the way his jaw is set and the fire burning in his eyes. But no, he is merely adamant to rile Logan up. To what end though?

"Are you...challenging me to a debate?"

Virgil gives a sharp-toothed, satisfied grin. He is willing to play devil's advocate for a good cause.

***

"Hey, wanna dance?"

Roman windmills his arm in the direction of the sultry voice that whispered in his ear. The faint smell of garlic wifts in his nostrils, followed by a gleeful chuckle.

"Remus!! Get out of my room!"

Remus rolls back on his heels. He folds his arms behind his back and looks into the air, a thoughtful hum on his lips.

"Hmmm, how about no?"

"Leave! Out you pest!"

"Make me!"

"You would force the hand of your own brother?" Roman says far too seriously, and Remus gives him an unimpressed stare. "...yeah, you're right, this is very on brand for you. I don't know why I'm acting surprised."

Remus shrugs and throws his hands up in the air. "Alright, if you're done bothering me–"

"You're the one who came in my room!"

"I've got better things to do than listen to you whine, Prince Poopy Pants."

Remus goes to stride out the door. Roman watches him, arms crosses and fingers tapping impatiently on his elbow, haughty expression that says he's one push away from snapping.

Remus pauses at the door.

Roman doesn't have time to anticipate.

Remus snatches up one of Roman's Pop figures off his bookshelf and flees the scene. Roman exits stage right in pursuit, screaming.

***

"You can't stay in bed all day."

"Watch me," Patton says, a pout in his voice. He's buried under blankets with only his hair sticking out at the top.

Janus clicks his tongue and scratches at Patton's scalp. It's less effective with gloves on, but Patton allows the contact.

"Or do, I certainly won't judge you," Janus says flippantly.

Patton whines into the mattress, "That implies that someone is judging me."

"I didn't say that. Did I say that?"

"Janus!" Exasperrated, Patton tosses down his blankets enough to reveal his rumpled onsie and impressive bedhead. He stops when he sees what sits on the bedside table that wasn't there before.

"You never came down for breakfast this morning," Janus explains. "Not that I care or anything. There were just so many pancakes leftover that it would be a shame for them to go to waste."

Patton eyes the tray and the stack of syrupy pancakes. His lip wobbles a little. "You brought me breakfast in bed?"

"Don't get used to it."

Patton finds the will to smile and tucks into breakfast. It tastes freshly made and sweet.

[sleepyvirgilprompts]

Virgil stirred slightly, said a sentence that contained no intelligible words but sounded grumpy, and curled closer to Janus. Janus frowned. "Sleep," he ordered-- unnecessarily; Virgil had already gone back to sleep.

[firewolf111]

Hello! If your asks are still open can I request Logince + secret relationship? Thank you!

Thank so much for the request! <3

I had so many ideas for this prompt and couldn't decide, so you get multiple small scenarios.

(I was bored anyways, so may as well write them all)

Hope you enjoy!

..................

Roman and Logan: *alone in the kitchen flirting*

Logan: *Gently grabbing Roman by the collar to pull him in for a kiss*

Virgil: *walking in* ... What are you two doing?

Logan: ...uhhhh

Roman: Fighting.

Logan: ... *looking at him confused*

Roman: What? If you didn't want me to eat your jar of Crofters, should have put your name on it. And honestly, the insults just wrote themselves. I mean, look at you.

Logan: Why you-

Virgil: Well, that's my cue to leave. Have fun. I saw nothing. I am not a witness. My money is on Logan. *leaves*

Roman: Wait! Hold on! *offended noises*

Logan: ...Does this mean I have to punch you?

Roman: ...

........................

Roman and Logan: *having a movie date night in Roman's room*

Patton: *knocking on the door*

Roman: *pausing the movie and calling out* Yes?

Patton: Have you seen Logan, kiddo? I haven't been able to find him?

Roman: ....ummmm. Have you tried the basement?

Patton: .....No. I suppose I haven't. Thanks kiddo! *walks away from the door*

Logan: *staring at him*

Roman: What?

Logan: I don't know which of you two are stupider.

Roman: What are you talking about?

Logan: We don't have a basement.

Roman: ...shoot.

Roman: How quickly do you think Remus can build a basement?

..................

Janus: I know you guys are dating.

Roman: *spluttering*

Logan: What makes you say that?

Janus: I've seen you two holding hands.

Roman: I like affection.

Janus: You've spent a lot of alone time together.

Logan: Well, yes. We need to cooperate with each other to complete Thomas's projects.

Janus: I've heard you two flirting with each other.

Logan: *glancing at Roman* Have you met him? He'd try to charm a lamp.

Janus: *groaning* How have neither of you two lied so far? Okay. Answer this. Are you two dating?

Logan: ...

Roman: ...

Janus: Ha! I knew it! That's a yes.

Logan: No, actually. That was not a yes.

Janus: *pausing* What?

Logan: The answer was not a yes.

Janus: *baffled* How was that not a lie?! You two seriously aren't dating?

Logan: *raises an eyebrow*

Janus: *now flustered* Well! You two sure act like it! *Storms off*

Roman: ...wait?! I thought we were dating? Have we not been?!

Logan: Of course we have been, dear.

Roman: But then, how...

Logan: *shrugging* Well, he asked his question, and when we were silent, he claimed, "That's a yes." But it wasn't a yes because silence is not a yes. So I simply told him that that answer was not a yes. I didn't lie.

Roman: I love your genius.

.............

Remus: *flopping on to Roman's bed* Tell your boy toy to stop ignoring me.

Roman: *spluttering* What?! I do not have a "boy toy"!

Remus: Yes, you do.

Roman: I assure you, I do not.

Remus: *rolling his eyes* Sorry, I meant boyfriend.

Roman: Well, I don't have one of those either.

Remus: *Tossing Roman's diary on the bed* Really? Because you went on and on about that nerd and his smarts. Not to mention *flutters his eyelashes* his "dreamy voice" and how you love it when he talks about his interests. And all that other disgusting lovey-dovey stuff.

Roman: *spluttering* Wh-

Remus: Also, you called him your boyfriend on every other page. And every petname under the sun. Really could use some spice, though. It was very plain and vanilla.

Roman: Why would you read my diary?!

Remus: Why not? I was bored.

Remus: Now go tell your boy toy to stop ignoring me. It's no fun.

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

Sticks, Stones, and Words That Do Hurt

Summary: Despite Remus’ comforting attempt at making him feel better about his bruises, Roman still feels awful as he endures the mistreatment the others put him through. There’s only so much one bruised prince can take before he snaps.

Pairings: None, BROTHERLY CREATIVITWINS

WARNING: BRUISES, UNINTENTIONAL UNSYMPATHETIC SIDES, ROMAN ANGST

(A/N: This fic is inspired by Insult To Injury by @part-time-zombie! Hi, friend! I hope you don't mind this little companion piece!)

AO3 LINK

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Usually the saying goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to apply to Roman and his fragile ego. Someone had to take all the hits that Thomas got and Roman was willing to. Surprisingly, the bruises that Roman received from Thomas’ slips ups and wounded pride weren’t as painful as the ones Roman received from the others whenever he himself messed up and was mocked for it. What makes it hurt more is that none of them cared. None of them realize just how painful their words are. How it leaves his skin covered in several patches of painful bruises. Bruises so bad that it leaves Roman writhing and crying. These bruises have even made it hard to fall asleep at night, the pain keeping Roman up until the sun came out.

            Lately though, Roman’s gotten some relief from his bruises. It’s temporary but he’ll take what he can get. What he can get is Remus’ strange way of comforting and caring for him. It’s…a bit new to him, sort of dizzying. He had half expected Remus to laugh at him and call him a loser. Maybe prod at every bruise and make it hurt worse but…he didn’t. Remus was there by his side, trying to ease the ache from his bruises. Roman has come to appreciate it, seeking Remus out when his bruises get really bad. It comforts him to know that at least one person is on his side.

            However, that doesn’t end the abuse that Roman still puts up with from the others. Patton still scolds and guilt trips him for any slip-ups and mistakes without letting Roman explain his side of the story. Logan still lectures him, dismissing idea after idea and glaring at him in contempt. Virgil still makes fun of him, teasing him for everything he does and putting him down because the anxious side thinks it’s fun. Janus still manipulates Roman, using his own words against him and constantly reminding him of his massive ego. The same ego that is slowly crumbling apart with every bruise the others unknowingly deal to him. One day though, that ego is going to shatter and Roman’s going to break. Not even Remus could stop this.

            It starts out small at first. Roman had just come back from a meeting, groaning in pain as he shuts the door and locks it. It wouldn’t stop anyone from sinking in but at least no one will just barge in. Roman didn’t want to see anyone after the fiasco that was him sharing his recent ideas. He didn’t need any more bruises on top of the ones already coloring his skin. With another groan, Roman changes into loose clothes, summons some ice packs, and flops onto his bed. He sighs and stares at the ceiling as he lays under the many ice packs on his arms, legs, and stomach.

            Roman doesn’t know why he had to be cursed with an ego so fragile that he bruises just as much as a rotten fruit. Maybe he is a rotten fruit. Nobody wanted rotten, no good, bruised, fruit. Sighing, Roman hopes Remus comes around soon. He was still talking with the others when the princely side decided to slip away as soon as the meeting ended. At least Remus didn’t care if his fruit was rotten.

“Of course, he’d like rotten fruit. He likes gross stuff. I’m gross.”

“Who said you were gross?”

Roman blinks and looks up to see Remus sinking up and going over to his bed.

“Oh, hi, Ree. No one said that. I did. I’m a gross, rotten fruit.”

Remus chuckles.

“You’re not gross. Annoying, sometimes, but not gross.”

Another tiny bruise appears and Roman groans, shifting under his melting ice pack.

“Not helping, dummy.”

“Ah, shit. Sorry, sorry.” Remus winces.

Roman sighs.

“It’s fine.”

            Remus frowns, seeing the many ice packs. It actually makes him sad to see his brother looking like grocery store meat in a freezer. Usually, his twin always looked so bright, sparkly, and happy. He’s never, ever seen him so…broken. He never knew he was so broken. That he took so many blows to protect Thomas’ ego. He especially never knew how awful the others were to his brother and they didn’t even know that. They didn’t even care or bother to understand.

With a huff, Remus plops down onto Roman’s bed.

“So…did the others do this again? Need me to bash in some heads?” he asks, fixing one of the ice packs that started to slide off of Roman’s leg.

Roman sighs and nods.

“They did. They weren’t really happy with my ideas. And no, please don’t bash any heads in. It’ll make things worse.” he mumbles.

“Damn. I just wanna wring their necks and show those fucks what they’re doing to you, Ro.”

Roman lets out a hollow, empty laugh. It’s not him at all.

“You don’t think I tried to tell them? All they did was call me dramatic.” he sighs. “I’m tired, Ree. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.”

Before Remus can respond, he watches in horror as some bruises grow darker and new ones appear in between.

“Ro, stop. Don’t say that shit. You’re hurting yourself too.”

“Who hasn’t hurt me?”

Oh, Roman…

Remus falls silent. He can’t really answer that question as if he were innocent. He’s hurt Roman countless of times, and he hadn’t realized until now just how much Roman internalized each word. The dark duke can only deflate in guilt as he looks over this twin.

Roman then turns his head, gazing back with dull green eyes that seem almost unfamiliar to Remus. They’re supposed to be as bright as emerald jewels.

“Don’t look at me like that, Ree. Don’t pity me…” the prince mumbles before looking up at the ceiling again.

“I wasn’t. I just…fuck, RoRo. I didn’t realize I was really hurting you. I thought we were doing what siblings normally do, y’know? I never knew that you really believed in all that awful shit I said.” Remus sighs. “Ugh, mushy feelings. Gross.”

Roman cracks a tiny smile.

“I don’t think we’re normal siblings, considering you’ve knocked me out unconscious.”

“Shut up, I feel bad enough already.” Remus grins, rolling his eyes fondly as he chuckles. Roman’s smiling. Good.

“I know. But I’m going to use that against you all I want.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”

Roman giggles a bit and his bruises lighten somewhat as the tinier ones fade. It’s moments like these that he clings onto, using them as his painkillers. Actual pills can only numb the pain so much until that pain returns to wake him up in the middle of the night. He doesn’t mean to be overly dependent on Remus, but he had no one else. Remus was the only one who actually understood him. Roman wishes these moments would last just a bit longer, his laughter subsiding as he groans again from all the movement. It’s quiet for a moment before Roman speaks again.

“Ree?”

Remus hums in reply.

“Sometimes I wish I was like you.” Roman sighs.

That catches Remus off guard. He thought Roman wanted to be nothing like him.

“But you said...”

Roman looks away in guilt.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m still trying to figure out all of this good and evil made-up nonsense.” he swallows. “But…I think, more than anything, I envied you. I thought if I were better than you, they’d love me more. They’d care more. I did everything they wanted, and it still wasn’t enough.”

“Fucking hell, Ro…” Remus breathes out.

“Then I saw how they were with you. They weren’t annoyed or mad or called you dramatic. You didn’t care what they thought of you. You were allowed to be whatever or whoever you wanted. You never got in trouble for it.”

“But you don’t need to be like me, Ro. You’re cool on your own!”

Roman sniffs and shakes his head.

“I’m not. I’m…I’m a loser. I can’t even be a proper prince.”

A new bruise appears, dark red against pale skin. Remus’ eyes widen. Oh no.

“Ro, wait!”

“I can’t come up with good ideas. I’m a failure of a side and everyone knows it.”

Another bruise appears and another. The ones already there darken again.

“Ro!”

Roman sniffles, tears rolling down his face.

“I really am a no good, rotten fruit.”

Another bruise and another and another and-

“Roman, stop! You’re hurting yourself again!” Remus cries. “Just…just stop saying that shit. I know it’s hard to believe but you’re more than what anyone else says, okay? You. Are. Vital.”

Roman trembles as each bruise throbs and aches.

“Ree…”

Remus feels tears pricking his own eyes.

“You’re my brother and I don’t like seeing you hurting yourself or getting hurt by the others. You’re just as important as them, okay?” the dark duke sniffs, fixing another ice pack that fell off of Roman’s arm.

“I don’t know, Ree…I guess…I just…I want to scream at them, but I feel like I’ll just be screaming at brick walls. I’m so, so tired.” Roman mumbles. “But maybe I deserve it…”

Remus sighs. His poor brother. Sure, he’s had awful, awful thoughts of seeing his brother hurt or him hurting his brother, but he never really wanted to see it through.

“No, Ro. You don’t deserve this bruised ego shit. Not one bit, okay?” he shakes his head and huffs. “Look, just let me confront them. If they won’t listen to you, I’ll make them.”

Roman shakes his head, more tears dripping down his face.

“No, no! They won’t listen, Ree. I told you. They don’t care. They won’t believe you anyway. Just…be here, okay?” he mumbles.

“But…okay.” Remus sighs once more. “But you’ll have to tell them sometime, Ro. This isn’t right.”

Roman nods numbly.

“I’ll try but if they still won’t listen…I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’ll still be here, Ro. I can’t really heal your bruises, but I’ll try not to make them worse.” Remus ruffles his hair.

“Thanks, Ree. Can you stay a little longer today? I wanna nap but I don’t want the others bothering me if they sink in here.”

“Sure, Ro. I’m always here for you, brother.”

“Thanks, Ree. I’m glad you at least don’t hate me.”

Before Remus could say anything more, Roman’s started to drift off under his many, melting ice packs. The dark duke sighs and gets comfortable, leaning against the headboard as he sits and watches over his brother.

“Oh, Ro…if only you knew…”

            Roman unfortunately remains blind and disbelieving of what Remus is trying to show him, choosing to continue to listen to the barrage of awful words that the other sides throw at him. It only makes things worse for Roman as the days pass by. Yet, Roman presses on, stubborn to the point that he feels as if he could do this. The poor, broken prince really wanted to believe in sticks and stones.

            So, here that prince stood one day as he made himself breakfast. With his bruise still aching as they healed, Roman had to pour his cereal slowly and carefully so he wouldn’t spill and make a mess. He did not want to give the others anymore fuel to use against him. With his cereal poured, Roman puts the box away and grabs the big milk jug. The plastic feels nice and cold against his palms and for a moment, the prince is tempted to hug it for relief on his bruises…and maybe because he might possibly want a hug.

A faint snicker snaps him out of his thoughts but Roman dares not to turn around.

“Hey, princey! You awake in there?” comes Virgil’s teasing voice. Great. “You really gotta get out of your head, dude. Not like you’ll find anything there.”

Janus chuckles. Oh no.

“Please, I’d be surprised if he found anything at all.”

“Now, now, kiddos. I’m sure Roman just didn’t get his beauty sleep. You know how much he needs it.” Patton chimes in.

It doesn’t really sound like scolding and all Roman can do is bite his tongue as bruises begin to bloom one by one under his costume. His hands tremble as he unscrews the cap, trying to ignore the others talking while he began pouring his milk.

            Meanwhile, Remus sits and watches as the others practically insult Roman, not realizing the damage they’re doing. They probably think they’re knocking his brother down a peg or two. It makes Remus’ blood boil but Roman had begged him not to do anything. Yet, not doing anything won’t stop Roman’s pain or make it hurt any less. Especially when the others keep talking.

“I’m not surprised that Roman is in his head again. He seems to never leave it, really.” Logan hums without looking up from his newspaper.

Virgil laughs.

“How could he? It’s his favorite place.”

“And it matches his ego.” Janus teases.

            Roman jolts at that one and as a dark bruise starts spreading under his shirt, he jerks in pain and ends up splashing milk all over himself and the counter. Great. At least the cold liquid will ease the pain a little bit. Sighing, Roman sets the jug aside and summons a towel. He ignores the pain and moves to clean up his mess, hiding his embarrassed face as he hears laughter erupt behind him.

“Goodness, kiddo. You really do need your beauty sleep.” Patton chuckles. “You’re such a mess.”

“Oh, wow.” Virgil wheezes. “You really were deep in that big head of yours, dude.”

“Goodness, Roman. Better not start crying over that spilled milk.” Janus adds.

            Remus watches as everyone laughs and teases Roman. They must think it’s all in good fun, but he knows better and glances at his twin. Roman is staring at his half-filled bow that barely got any milk. Still, Remus sits quietly and shifts in his seat. Usually, he would join in on teasing Roman but now he can only watch as his twin is practically and unknowingly being insulted by the others. Remus doesn’t even want to imagine how awful the new bruises are going to look.

            As for Roman, he finishes cleaning up the mess and puts the milk away. He also makes the towel and his bowl of uneaten cereal disappear. He doesn’t feel like having breakfast anymore. Faking a smile, Roman turns to the others and shrugs despite the searing pain in his arms.

“You know what? That’s okay. I wasn’t too hungry.” he chuckles slightly. “I…I think I’ll just work on those scripts.”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna have a fit and skip breakfast because you spilled some milk? Wow, you’re sooo dramatic, Roman.” Janus hisses, shaking his head at Roman.

“Who knew the prince reforms into a beast without beauty sleep?” Virgil adds.

“Well, Roman tends to be…clumsier when he’s tired.” Patton chuckles. “But yes, Roman. No need to get upset over spilled milk. You can make another bowl if you want but we’re all done eating, so you’ll have to eat alone. Sorry, kiddo.”

“I’m sure he’d rather focus on himself anyway, Patton” Logan chimes in.

            Roman winces again and tries his best to not lose any bit of his composure as more and more bruises appear under his clothes while the others that were healing are back to where they started if not worse. He keeps the smile on his face despite his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“No, really. I’m not hungry. I’ll just eat when I can. Excuse me.”

            With that, Roman sinks out and Remus stares at where his brother was standing. Everyone else was still laughing about Roman and Remus had to hold back from knocking all four of their heads together. Sighing, Remus quietly sneaks away too before anyone could notice he was even there, huffing under his breath as he tries to ignore the others�� fading laughter.

            Remus then sinks up into Roman’s room and…oh no. Roman’s back in his pajamas, dark red and blue and purple bruises all over his arms and legs. This time Roman’s decided not to summon any ice packs and has chosen instead to curl up. Remus can just barely hear his sobbing as he leans closer to look at his brother’s new bruises. The dark duke’s tummy curls in discomfort. This is so, so wrong. Completely wrong. Why can’t the others just see that they’re breaking Roman into bruised little pieces? That it’s hurting Remus himself too? Remus rubs at his eyes, trying not to let any tears fall. Roman needs him.

“Ro…” Remus sighs, sitting by Roman.

Roman hiccups, turning to look at Remus. Oh no, there’s some small bruises on Roman’s face too. Are the others still talking about Roman downstairs?

“Ree, it hurts. My entire body hurts. My heart hurts. I-I wanna tell them so bad.” the prince whimpers.

“Why don’t you?”

“Because…Because I just can’t.”

Remus ruffles Roman’s hair, scratching at his scalp in an attempt to comfort him. It’s a strange thing for him to do. He’s never had to comfort his brother. Then again, he never saw just how much he was suffering behind his princely mask.

“Are you ever going to tell them?” the dark duke asks.

Roman sniffs, shrugging.

“I don’t know, Ree. I already told you, they’re not going to listen to me.” he mumbles, leaning into Remus’ touch.

Remus sighs, moving closer to Roman.

“Then what are you going to do? You can’t hide and mope here forever.”

“I don’t know either.”

Roman then shifts and turns to lay on his other side, his back to Remus now. Remus sighs once again, staring at his poor brother.

“Ro…you can’t keep letting them hurt you…”

            Yet, Roman lets himself suffer more and more each day. His bruises grow darker, each one more painful than ever. Still, Roman remains quiet. He lets the others throw insult after insult at him. He agrees with everything they say about him, even if most of what they’re saying is not true. After each tirade, Roman would return to his bedroom with his skin covered in many, many bruises. Sometimes, a few would appear on his face and the prince would merely just apply some foundation to cover it up should he need to make an appearance later.

            As days became weeks became months, Roman’s pain got worse and worse. Sometimes, he couldn’t even leave his bed and Remus had to disguise himself and take over for Roman. He knows it won’t fool the others long, especially with Virgil and Janus watching him. Still, Roman refused to confront the others and Remus knew it wasn’t his place to bring up Roman’s troubles.

Even then, Remus wishes he could say something or even scream until he couldn’t so the others could wake up for once and see how horrible they really are. Since he can’t though, Remus can only comfort his twin through it all as he worries what will happen if Roman keeps letting them abuse him. If the others kept pushing Roman and kicking him down, he’s going to break. The ego is going to break, and the others don’t even realize that. It terrifies Remus, really. Nothing usually terrifies him but the thought of seeing his brother in a completely broken state is one that has been keeping him up at night.

One day though, Remus knew it was getting really bad. Roman knew it too but pushed on as he stood by during today’s discussion. They were going over Thomas’ regular schedule along with his filming schedule as things needed to be arranged. Roman remained quiet, only speaking when spoken to as he tried his best to smile through the pain. He even forced himself to bear the pain from even the tiniest movements he would make. Despite his body aching more and more by the second, Roman kept his act up. The show must go on after all. Roman feigns another strained smile and-

“Hey, Princey! In that big, empty head of yours again?” comes Virgil’s teasing voice.

Roman laughs, doing his best to put all his energy into it. Virgil means well. Virgil means well. Virgil means well. Virgil means-

“Y-Yeah, sorry about that. Did you need me for something?” the prince stammers.

“Yes, Roman. We need you…” Logan starts.

Oh!

“To please pay attention in this discussion.”

Oh.

Another bruise appears and Roman quickly tugs his right sleeve down, Remus frowning beside him.

“R-Right. I’m sorry, Logan.” Roman feigns another smile. “I just…have a lot going on in my mind, being creativity and all.”

Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, but please put them aside for the moment. Daydreams will only add delay to the schedule, and I don’t have the time to rearrange the deadlines and disrupt Thomas’ work pattern.” he huffs.

“Hey, come on, whale dork. Ro’s trying his best. No need to get bitchy about all this.” Remus cuts in, seeing the subtle way Roman was shrinking in on himself.

Roman shoots a grateful glance towards Remus as he rubs his own arms while no one’s looking.

“I wouldn’t have to be…well, that, if Roman would just stay focused and out of his head.” Logan retorts, fixing his tie. “Honestly, I don’t know how he gets anything done at all.”

Roman winces, feeling a bruise spreading on his back as he hugs himself.

“I…I do get my work done and you know that, Logan.” He huffs, trying to defend himself.

Remus is proud for a moment.

“True, but I also know you have the tendency to finish that work past the deadline we agreed on. You’re always making excuses as well.” Logan lectures, eyeing Roman with disappointment.

Remus frowns again and his hands ball up into fists that quickly turn white as he tries to hold himself back while Roman himself holds back unshed tears.

“T-They’re not excuses. Sometimes I have setbacks, and the work takes a little longer. It doesn’t mean the schedule is ruined completely.”

“Last I checked, Roman you have caused several delays in the schedule in just the last month. The others might have caused minor delays, but your delays have affected the schedule the most.” Logan points out, checking his notepad.

Roman can barely stop a soft squeak from slipping out as more and more bruises appear.

“B-But it’s not like I do it on purpose!” he stammers. “Creative work takes just as much time as your work does and sometimes it takes longer!”

Logan frowns angrily. Oh no.

“Are you seriously comparing our functions right now? How self-important must you be, Roman? For once in your life, get that ego under control.” he growls.

“It is under control! A-And I’m not comparing, I’m just explaining that my work takes a lot of time too and sometimes even more time!” Roman cries, not caring if the tears finally fell.

“Oh, shut up, Roman! I’ve had enough of your dramatic whining!” Logan seethes. “If you’re going to act like a diva during this whole discussion, I suggest you remove yourself from the group and stay in your room.”

Remus nearly lunges at Logan but stays in his spot as his nails dig into his skin. Meanwhile, Roman feels more and more bruises appearing, the existing ones searing with pain.

“I-I…”

“Hey, kiddo? Maybe Logan’s right. Why don’t you cool off and get yourself together? Maybe you can join in the next discussion when you’re much more focused.” Patton suggests after a moment of silence.

“B-But-!”

“Come on, Princey. Don’t start again. We don’t need an encore of your little diva tantrum.” Virgil huffs.

“Yes, and it’s not like creativity is needed here at the moment.” Janus adds.

Roman trembles as he feels a big, hot-white painful bruise bloom over his heart.

“…You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Ro, wait- “

But Roman quickly sinks out.

            Once Roman finally got back to his room, he stumbled to his bed. Every step was excruciating. It was as if his body was bathed in hot lava. Every bruise screamed and stabbed at him as he laid out in bed, barely able to move and too much in pain to summon even a single ice pack. Letting the tears fall again, Roman sniffles and lets himself just lay there. He deserves it. He deserves every single bruise. He wants to scream and yell and tell the others everything but…they would never listen. They wouldn’t care. He tells himself that over and over and over so it would never leave his mind.

            As Roman lays and suffers and sniffles, he wonders what the others are doing. They must be continuing the discussion as if they didn’t just kick him out. They must be happier now that he’s out of the way. They must have forgotten all about him. That agonizing thought alone gives Roman a few more bruises, making him groan. He must look completely awful. Worse than the rotten fruit he thought he was. At least the others didn’t have to see this. Roman could just lay here and-

“Ro!”

“Remus?”

            Remus goes over to Roman’s side as soon as he’s in the room. He looks his twin over and is horrified to see more bruises than the last time. Reds and blues mixed with yellows and greens cover Roman’s arms and legs. Remus is almost too afraid to know how bad it is under Roman’s clothes. And Remus is almost never afraid of anything. Holding his rage back, Remus sits by Roman and summons some ice packs for his brother.

“Ro…why do you keep letting them hurt you?” Remus sighs as he starts placing ice packs on his brother.

Roman almost wants to cry from the cold relief he’s being given. That darker part of his mind hisses that he doesn’t deserve it though.

“…I don’t know, Ree. It just feels…easier. I mean, someone has to keep the ego from getting too big.”

Remus huffs, placing the last ice pack on Roman’s forearm.

“Yeah, but if they keep shrinking it down, they’ll only break you completely.” he sighs before drooping and letting out a single tear. “I…I don’t want to see you break, Ro. I can’t lose you again.”

“Ree...”

            Sometimes, Roman feels as if he’s selfish. From wanting that damn callback to dragging Thomas around just to get him to talk to the cute guy in the food court to this. Remus is hurting too and it’s all because of him. Why can’t he just do something right? Why did he have to be the one in charge of wants, wishes, and dreams when he can’t even reach any of them? When he's constantly forced to watch every single one of those dreams shatter like paper-thin glass under fate’s hands? What was the point of being in charge of those dreams and wishes if he was punished for daring to reach out to them? Why-

“RoRo, you’re doing it again! Stop it! Stop giving yourself bruises!” Remus wails.

Roman glances at himself in a nearby mirror and he feels himself break just a little more.

“I…I can’t help it, Ree. I can’t!” he sobs. “I can’t stop thinking about them! About me and about everything wrong with me!”

            Remus feels lost. Right now, he’s watching his brother fall apart bit by bit and he feels so helpless. Despite the fights and insults they’ve been through, Remus would never wish anything awful on his brother. Sure, the voices in his head were annoying and often loved to give him sickly scenarios of Roman in various forms of torture but Remus would never bring that thought into existence. Seeing his twin covered in so many bruises that are getting worse by the second is something he wished were just a terrible thought. For once, he didn’t want to imagine what would happen if they got any worse. If the others don’t stop then…

Remus sniffles at that thought.

“Ro, you have to tell them. You have to listen to me and believe that you’re more than the shit they give you. You can’t keep letting them abuse you!”

Roman shakes his head, still sobbing.

“But they won’t listen!”

Remus sighs and huffs.

“You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do!”

“For fuck’s sake, Ro! Why do you keep running and hiding, you damn coward?!”

Roman groans and his bruises darken, making Remus hiss.

“Shit, shit! I forgot! Sorry, Ro!” the dark duke flails, fixing the ice packs.

“…It’s fine.” Roman grits, the throbbing slowly subsiding moments later.

Remus shakes his head. “It’s not. Shit, Ro…”

            Remus takes a moment to think of his next words. Sometimes he forgets that Roman is a little fragile now. It’s as if he could physically shatter with one soft touch. That’s the terrible, no-good part though. Roman’s not supposed to be fragile and broken. He’s supposed to be big, brave, strong, and powerful. Right now…Roman just looks sad. It makes Remus’ heart ache even more. This really isn’t right and if he hadn’t promised Roman that he wouldn’t tell the others about his bruises, he’d be marching down there right now to yell at them. The dark duke sighs and blinks away more tears.

“Ro…” Remus swallows a lump in his throat, trying so hard not to cry. “Tell me...why don’t you want to tell them.”

Roman sighs.

“I already told you. I just can’t.”

Remus shakes his head.

“But there has to be another reason. Something more?”

“…If I told you, you’d think it was silly.”

“It’s not silly, Ro. It’s something holding you back from telling those shits what you’re dealing with and the fact that they’re affecting you.”

Roman sniffles, glancing up at Remus as he thinks on his words.

“You promise you won’t laugh?”

“I promise.”

Roman nods then stares at his bruised hands as he swallows the last of his little pride.

“I…I’m scared, Ree.”

Remus’ heart aches. His poor, poor brother…

“Scared of what, Ro?”

Roman sniffs as the past events play in his head. The cereal fiasco, the argument between him and Logan, every single moment in his life where the others caused him so much pain without ever noticing.

“That even if I did tell them and they finally saw me…things would never change.” he admits. “They’d just feel bad and blame themselves, treat me like I’m some fragile thing that they can just fix, and then when I think I’m okay…they’ll break me all over again and go back to not caring.”

Remus feels his fists clench again. He promised. He promised. He promised.

“What else, Ro?” he gently presses, breathing out as he pushes his anger down.

Roman sighs.

“I’m scared they’ll never believe me. That I’m just seeking attention. That they’ll always see me as someone to keep kicking down so the ego doesn’t get too big.”

“Fuck, Ro…that’s…fuck, I really wish you’d let me do the talking. I can’t believe they’ve broken you so much…”

            Roman feels something wet on his arm and he looks up to see Remus…crying. Remus almost never cries. It’s very rare that Roman sees his twin cry. Somehow, Roman feels like it’s his fault that Remus is crying. They are able to feel each other’s pain after all, but he never wanted to drag his brother into his suffering. It wasn’t fair to him.

            Still, Roman feels so tired. He wants the pain to go away. He wants to stop crying and to sleep normally again. He wants to stop aching and dying inside. Unfortunately, faking a smile and playing his regular act of being okay was slowly starting to crumble. Maybe…Maybe he wanted to snap too. He wanted to scream and show them all his bruises. Let them wallow and drown in their guilt. Maybe he does want them to be the ones that feel bad for a change. Roman’s almost tempted to just tell them and let them beg on their knees for forgiveness. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen in the first place?

            Roman feels selfish thinking about it though. He would be no better, making the others suffer because of his own pain. Remus is suffering already because of him. The prince’s thoughts feel all mixed up now, whirling around his head as if it were a spinning salad spinner. Sighing, Roman glances at Remus again as the last few tears slide his face. What a sad, pathetic prince he really is.

Then-

“You know what? What if you don’t have to tell them?” Remus breaks the silence a moment later.

Roman blinks at his twin.

“But I thought you wanted me to tell them?”

“You said they wouldn’t listen right? Then we’ll show them instead. Show them what they’ve done to you. Show them how much they’ve hurt you. They can’t deny it with the evidence right here!”

“I don’t know, Ree…I don’t want them to start feeling bad and then try to fix things just because they feel like they have to and then go back to being awful once they think I’m okay.”

Remus holds up one of Roman’s arms, keeping the ice pack from slipping off.

“Trust me, Ro. I don’t think they’ll even try to say one horrible thing after seeing these bruises.” he affirms, patting Roman’s gently.

Roman sighs. It’s a good idea but…

“Still…I don’t know if I can handle them if they start pitying me…”

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to forgive them until you feel ready. Hell, they don’t deserve your forgiveness at all if that’s what you feel like too.” Remus huffs. “This is about you, Ro. Not them.”

The bruised prince leans against Remus’ side, taking comfort from him as he usually does.

“You really think they’ll finally understand?”

“I know so! And no matter what happens, I’ve got your back.”

            Silence falls in for a moment as Roman mulls over Remus’ words. For someone who doesn’t really bring up his own issues and chooses to stuff it in a coffin, Remus seems to have a good point. Roman himself hasn’t really had a chance to tell them how he really feels. He’s gotten terrifyingly good at acting and wearing a gleaming smile. Meanwhile, all of his true feelings end up being forced back down his throat as he tries his best not to let them back out.

There were so many times he wanted to scream and cry but held back. A prince does not throw tantrums after all. Roman huffs at that thought. He’s tired of being told how to be a prince. As he thinks about it more and more, Remus’ idea sounded very, very appealing. Roman wanted to show them just what exactly they were doing to him. All of it. The prince rubs his tears away.

“I’ll do it.”

Remus blinks in surprise, turning to look at his twin.

“You will? I mean, it was an idea but you don’t- “

Roman shakes his head, staring at his bruises once more.

“I want to. You’re right, Ree. If I can’t make them listen. I’ll show them just how much they’re hurting me.”

“Ro…”

“I’m tired of hurting all the time, Ree. I’m tired of the bruises and the insults…and their ignorance. I want it to stop and at this point, I’ll do anything.”

Remus smiles softly, ruffling the prince’s hair.

“I knew you’d come around. I’m proud of you, Ro. I’ll be on your side when we confront everyone.”

Roman feels some of the ache in his body lighten.

“Thank you, Ree.”

“Always! So, when do you want to do this?”

Roman, for the first time in months, cracks a tiny smile.

“There is a meeting coming up in two days…”

Remus smiles even bigger.

“How convenient!”

            Roman finds himself a little eager after this. Nervous too but mostly eager. He’s been through enough pain, and he’s tired of being quiet about it. He’s never been excited for an upcoming meeting either, that same eagerness overlapping with dread. Part of him worries that it won’t work, and it’ll get worse, but he reminds himself that he’s always got Remus in the end. Even if the others still won’t understand or listen to him, at least Remus will.

“Ro?”

            Roman blinks and he’s at the meeting. The two days had gone by fast. The wait felt as if time was going by oh so very slowly. Still, here they were now. Roman was finally about to show them once and for all. Everyone had been surprised when he showed up in a loose long-sleeved shirt rather than just his prince costume. Sighing, Roman watches the meeting go on before turning to his twin. They’ve both been ignored for the meantime.

“What is it, Ree?” Roman asks, fiddling with his sleeve.

“I thought you were going to show them.” Remus answers, nodding to his brother’s sleeves.

“I am. I just didn’t want to do it too soon. They’d just call me clumsy or think I’m faking. I want them to see as it happens.”

Remus nods in understanding.

“Okay, Ro. I’m here if you need me to sink you out or y’know…”

Roman giggles softly.

“Ree, no.”

“Eh, worth a shot.”

            The twins giggle again and for a moment Roman feels a little less sore. He’s really glad to have a brother like Remus, strange as that is. He reminds himself to be a little kinder and more patient with Remus after this is all over. Taking a deep breath, Roman rolls his sleeves up and gazes at his bruises. Now all he has to do is wait for one of the others to-

“Roman, are you paying attention?”

There it is.

Roman looks up at Logan.

“Apologies, Specs. I got lost in thought again.”

Logan sighs, pushing up his glasses.

“I’m not surprised. Please, try to focus. Even if Creative input isn’t needed.”

“O-Of course, Logan.” Roman answers as he winces.

Then Virgil lets out a huff.

“Come on, L. Princey’s probably thinking about himself again. I mean, at least something’s going on in that big, empty head of his.”

“My, and I thought that ego had stopped growing.” Janus adds.

Roman winces again and again, letting them go at it as new bruises appear and the old ones once again darken.

“I can’t help it. I…I am in charge of the ego.” he feigns a smile.

Logan sighs and nods.

“Yes, Roman. You constantly remind us every second of each day.”

Virgil snickers.

“Again, big head, Lo. Can’t miss that, either.”

            Laughter fills the air for a moment and Roman tries not to crumble from the growing pain. This is what he wanted to happen. He winces as more and more and more bruises cover his body, painting his arms red and purple, black and blue. It hurts so much but he chose this. They’re going to see what they’ve done to him. Despite all the pain, Roman stays quiet and lets them talk, waiting patiently until they notice him.

            Meanwhile, Remus feels a little worried, watching his brother take the brunt of all this. He shifts restlessly on his feet and glances at his twin, frowning at his darkening bruises. Strangely, Remus can feel them throbbing in pain. He hates that his brother has to go through this so often. That his brother had to suffer because his ego was a little more fragile than anybody else’s. Still, Remus is also proud of his brother. Roman’s been quiet about his pain for years now. He knows Roman needs this. Even if it means the others won’t care or will only start to care now.

“Okay, kiddos. Let’s focus on the meeting and not worry about Roman right now.” Patton chimes in, snapping Remus out of his thoughts.

“Please, he can worry about himself.” Virgil rolls his eyes.

Logan nods, clearing his throat.

“Yes, let him do that. It’ll help the discussion continue without any… noisy interruptions.”

Several more bruises appear and Roman groans at each one. It hurts so much but he lets them color his skin. He wants them to see all of it. See what they did.

“Right. I…I’m sorry for interrupting.” Roman speaks a moment later, hissing through the pain as his bruises grow. “I don’t mean to. I just- “

“Roman, you always say that and yet you continue to do so.” Logan interrupts this time. “Why can’t you just…oh.”

“Oh, goodness!”

“Princey…what the hell? Your face…”

“Oh my…”

            Finally. They see him. They see his bruises. They see as some bruises grow darker and new ones paint his skin. Roman stares back at them, numb and tired. Of course, they’re concerned and worried now. They only care when he’s physically hurt. Roman knew it. Roman knew they wouldn’t believe him without proof.

            Beside him, Remus steps closer and glares at the others. After all this time of watching Roman suffer, he can finally see an end to it. Or at least see Roman stand up for himself and put them in their place. His lips twitch into a small proud smile as he glances at Roman for a bit, gently squeezing his arm in assurance before letting him go.

            Roman takes a deep breath, looking at all of their faces. This is what he wanted. Despite his hammering heart and his growing, aching bruises, Roman doesn’t feel afraid. He feels tired and angry. Hurt. He doesn’t even care if a few tears have already escaped and are rolling down his face.

“You all say that I am Thomas’ ego. You’re right. I am.” Roman starts after a moment of silence. “Tell me, when an ego so fragile keeps taking so many hits, what happens?”

Remus shivers. He’s never heard his brother sound so cold. What have they done to him?

No one answers for a moment. Then-

“Oh…Oh no…how did I forget?!” Patton gasps in horror. “Oh, Roman!”

Roman only stares back at Patton before turning away.

“Of course, you forgot. You were too busy pretending everything was okay to even care.” he huffs.

“P-Patton, what’s going on?” Virgil asks, wringing his wrists.

Patton shrinks in guilt, sighing.

“The ego is bruised and since Roman’s the ego…”

“I take all the hits. Whether it’s aimed at Thomas or me. I take it all.”

Roman lifts the front of his shirt up, his chest covered in the biggest, angriest bruise. It makes everyone gasp in horror again. Good. He wants them to see how they’ve wounded him.

“Princey…” Virgil whispers. “Fuck…I didn’t know we were…I was just…”

“Joking? Oh yes, because making fun of my ego and accusing me of being completely self-centered is so funny. Right, Janus? Logan?”

The logical side remains quiet but Janus shifts in his spot.

“I…wasn’t aware that the saying literally applied to you, Roman…” the snake side tries to explain.

Roman laughs hollowly and Remus shivers once again. His poor brother.

“And yet, you seemed aware of every single one of my weaknesses. You didn’t even hesitate to use them against me. You should be proud of your work, Janus.”

Janus, for once, falls silent with nothing to say.

            Roman looks around the room, tired eyes glazed over with tears. It almost felt relieving, finally having their attention and showing them the pain they caused. It also felt heartbreaking. They were supposed to be a family. They were never supposed to hurt one of their own. It just makes Roman and his bruises ache a little more. He just couldn’t understand. He loved them so much. He fought for them and protected them. So why did they hurt them? Why couldn’t make them happy?

            They all stare back. Patton doesn’t know how he hadn’t realized he’d been hurting his kiddo. Virgil thought he wasn’t hurting Roman at all. That it was all banter. Logan thought he was keeping Roman in line and making sure he was focused. He hadn’t realized his words were affecting Roman like this. The term ‘bruised ego’ wasn’t something he was expecting to see in a literal sense. Remus…well, he was the only one who understood Roman’s pain. He knew the all too familiar feeling of rejection.

“R-Roman…is…is there anything we can do to amend this?” Logan asks, breaking the silence.

The tension, however, still hangs very heavily in the air.

Roman stares coldly at Logan.

“You think you can just magically fix this?” he hisses before that hollow laugh is heard again as those tears fall. “You all did this to me! You can’t just make it feel better by trying to take back every word you said! You’ve already done your damage!”

Remus feels his chest ache for Roman.

Roman laughs and laughs and then he cries, the pain he kept wound tightly inside now unraveling.

“I don’t mean to grow a big head. I don’t mean to be arrogant or self-centered. But I do it anyway. For all of you.” he sniffs. “What kind of ego would I be if I didn’t act that way? Would you rather I let the ego fall apart and destroy Thomas’ self-esteem?”

One by one, Roman watches them shrink in guilt. He didn’t want to have to do it this way, but he had to make them listen somehow. He definitely owes Remus a lot after this.

“Roman, please…” Logan tries again. “Forgive us, we truly didn’t- “

“No, no, no!” Roman cries, shaking his head. “Shut up, Logan! Shut up! You don’t get to feel sorry for me anymore! You of all people never understood! All you cared about was your stupid schedules and…and your deadlines!”

Remus whimpers softly, his chest aching again. Poor, poor Roman…

“You moan and groan about always being ignored but you don’t have a problem pushing me down!” Roman continues, chest heaving as more and more tears fall. “What, because the big-headed prince can take it? El principe es estupido? I don’t even get to defend myself because Thomas forbid, I’m being the mean one!”

“K-Kiddo, come on, we can- “Patton tries this time.

“No, we can’t work this out.” Roman huffs. “You’ll take care of me until I feel better then you’ll forget and hurt me all over again.”

“At least know that we’re sorry, Princey.” the anxious side pleads next.

Roman shakes his head at Virgil.

“You always are, aren’t you? I never get to apologize for my mistakes, but you do. Even if you are sorry…I don’t forgive you.”

“What? But- “

“I’m not a fool, Virgil. You’re only apologizing because you feel bad about what you did. Not about me. Once I say we’re cool, you’re going to go back to what you think is harmless banter.”

“Roman…” Janus speaks up again, but he still doesn’t know what to say.

Roman turns and glares at Janus.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, snake. You already won so you can stop hurling lies and insults at me.” he huffs.

            Silence falls in again from everyone else, the guilt heavier than ever. Patton so, so desperately wants to help his kiddo and take care of him, take away the pain he’d been suffering from. Virgil wants to do anything at this point for Roman’s forgiveness. He wishes he could take back everything he said, stop his past self if he could. Logan hates to admit it but Roman’s right. He thought he was keeping Roman in line, making sure he knew his place. He had no idea he was pushing him so far down or silencing him more and more. Had he known they’d been suffering in the same silence, he would’ve helped but his want to be heard blinded him. Janus feels just as terrible. He was really meant to protect the go. He hadn’t realizing he was causing it to crumble along with Roman.

            Roman stares back again tiredly then shakes his head, rolling his shirt back down. After all this time, he finally got to say what he wanted and told them how he felt. A little part of him feels bad for blaming them and making them feel guilty but he reminds himself that he had to do this, or it would just keep going like Remus had told him. Now that it’s done, Roman wants nothing more than to leave and hide for a while.

“Remus…” the broken prince turns to his brother, adrenaline wearing off. “I’m done here. I’m going to my room.”

Remus nods, patting his brother’s shoulder in comfort.

“I’ll be right behind you, Ro. You did good.”

With that, Roman sinks down without another word. Remus goes to follow-

“Wait!”

Remus pauses, looking over to see a very guilty Patton.

“W-Will Roman be okay? Can we…Can we see him sometime?” the fatherly side asks.

Remus feels fury bubbling inside, but he stamps it down for Roman’s sake, growling lowly instead.

“It’s not my fucking place to decide when he forgives any of you. Roman will talk to you when he goddamn feels like it. Until then, fuck off.” he warns.

“And you’re allowed to be with him? You knocked him out once!” Virgil hisses.

“I did.” Remus hums before getting in Virgil’s face with another growl. “But I didn’t hurt him the way you did. I never made him feel like complete shit. I never made him hate himself. All of you did. I’m no saint but even I can own up to that shit for him.”

Remus then turns to Patton.

“And you of all people don’t have an excuse, Froggy. If you knew, you shouldn’t have forgotten.” he then turns to Logan. “And you. I hope you had fun knocking my brother down a peg. You got what you wanted right?”

Finally, Remus turns to Janus. He loves him but not when he’s hurting his brother.

“Janus…I don’t even know what to say to you. I thought you’d done enough in the courtroom and after the wedding, but you just couldn’t stop, hm? You were supposed to protect him.”

Remus sighs.

“Until Roman decides what’s next, none of you are going near him or his room. If I see any of you hanging around his door, not even he’ll stop me from ripping your head off.” he threatens, moving to sink out.

“Oh, and if Thomas asks, tell him what you did to Roman and for once, own up to your fucking shit.”

Then Remus sinks out, leaving the others to process what just happened. By the time Remus sinks back into Roman’s room, he finds his twin curled up in a ball, sobbing. Remus feels his own chest start to burn. Had the bruises worsened since the prince had sunk out? He goes over to check on his brother, sitting beside him. The dark duke can hear how painful his sobs sound.

“Ro? I know you just went through a lot out there. Wanna talk to me about it?” Remus asks, trying his best to comfort his twin.

Roman hiccups and sniffs.

“D-Do you think they hate me more? I know you said I did good but…”

“Oh, RoRo…no, they don’t hate you. They feel like shit because of what they did. You’re alright, okay? You really did do good.”

Roman peeks up at Remus and the dark creative side is reminded of the shy little prince he grew up with.

“E-Even if I lashed out and…and made them feel bad?” he asks, tears glistening on his bruised face. “I didn’t mean to do that. I was just…I was so tired and angry and everything just came out.”

Remus shakes his head, smiling softly.

“Hey, that’s what happens when you finally open that bottle inside. It’s like a big ass explosion of feelings and things you’ve been shoving in there for years.” he explains, wiping his brother’s tears away. “You did nothing but stand up for yourself and told them how shitty you feel. You told them about what they did to you and I’m proud of you for that, Ro. So, yeah, You did good.”

Roman manages a tiny, faint smile.

“I guess. Thanks, Ree. Though it’s weird hearing you say you’re proud of me.”

“Eh, we’ll both have to get used to it because if those shitheads won’t give you the love you deserve, your big brother’s gonna have to do it for you!” Remus ruffles Roman’s hair.

The princely side lets out a slight laugh.

“Ree, we’re twins.”

“Shush, I’m in big brother mode. You just tell me what you want to do now and we can do it, okay?”

Roman smiles a little more and nods, wanting to just be with his brother.

“I just want to take a nap and forget everything that just happened with the others. Can you stay with me, Ree?” he asks in return, curling up again.

Remus pats Roman’s head, tucking him in.

“Of course, Ro. When you wake up, we can raid the fridge and watch a movie.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Ree.”

“No problem, Ro. Oh, and don’t forget, you’re more than what they say. You’re important as fuck and you are needed. If you do forget, I’m here to remind you.”

“You’re not gonna bonk me in the head again, are you?”

Remus grins.

“Nope! Just good old brotherly love. Now rest!”

            Roman laughs tiredly and tries his best to get comfy. Some of the aches and bruises are starting to fade but the rest will take some time to heal. For now, Roman glances at Remus one last time before letting himself drift off. Even if he doesn’t feel comfortable with the others at the moment, at least his brother is still here to make him feel better in his own silly and strange way.

            As Roman sleeps, Remus lounges back and dims the lights with the wave of his hand. He then snaps and Roman’s door locks. He then summons his Morningstar, placing it beside the bed. Just in case. He then pulls out his phone and settles in, ready to watch over Roman while he finally heals from his pain. Remus is now more than ever determined to prove to his brother that someone does care and that he’s needed here. Remus then glances at Roman’s sleeping form and decides he’ll start now, even if Roman’s can’t hear him.

“I love you, Ro-bro.”

[edupunkn00b]

Fanfic Reblog Party 🥳

In all seriousness (and complaints about our Beloved Hellsite’s ™️ busted excuse for search aside), I’m not seeing a lot of stories on my dash. Like none.

Wonderful writers, please reblog your stories and tag me. Old stories, new stories, links to AO3 or big fancy Tumblr posts, reblog and tag me and I’ll reblog. And then more people can reblog those and…

Let’s get this party started!