#january was a hilarious time to be me
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pulchriate · 2 years ago
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Super Six rules: answer the questions then tag some people to do the same
Thanks for the tag, @surumarssi ​ <3
Last song: Prologue, from the Anastasia Soundtrack
Last show: Ummm.... I finished New Leverage with my sister when I last visited her.
Currently watching: I don’t really watch TV that much, so nothing.
Currently reading: I’m between books at the moment, but I finished Hyperion Cantos by Dan Simmons a week ago.
Current obsession: Tried out a new restaurant that's a 25 minute walk from my apartment. The people who work there are so nice and all their pasta is made from scratch. One of the servers had their baby with them, and the baby kept pointing at me and smiling and babbling. 20/10 amazing experience.
Unrelated obsession: My writing! Broke a [redacted] year creative block in late January, churned out 20k in 10 days. On one project! Now I’m jumping between several projects ^^
Tagging @timeslive-inhouse ​ and @dustyforeskin ​, no pressure tho
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westywallowing · 5 months ago
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I'm dying my hair ginger again guys
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born2b-beheaded · 8 days ago
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Lice are so funny to me and they always have been and I don't even know why
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crest-of-gautier · 1 year ago
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thinking very hard about eggstra work for chill season, i just have the strangest feeling that it'll have a charger + blaster in the line-up and that it'll coincide with reload's release just to laugh at me....
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iknityounot · 1 year ago
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(Long post, sorry y'all)
A little more than two years ago now, my grandmother passed away. She and my grandpa had moved down to my home town a few years before so we could take care of them. I brought them groceries once a week, helped them write checks, fixed tvs, and found lost things. I was really close with my grandma.
In addition to her hilarious personality and dry wit, one of my favorite things about her was that she was a painter and a crafter like me! She used to crochet, and I took her to the craft store a couple of times so she could get more yarn and books on crochet. But her arthritis and the shaking in her hands kept getting worse, so she eventually had to stop.
She kept her most recent project, a granny square blanket, safely packed away in a plastic bin. She told all of us she was going to finish it one day.
Her hands never got better, and when she got sick, and we found out it was cancer, she rapidly deteriorated.
After she passed, I went to work helping my mom clean out my grandparents apartment so we could move my grandpa in with her. In our frantic cleaning, I found that bin again:
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DOZENS of granny squares, dozens of half used skeins. I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with it, and she said she didn't care. I set it aside and later took it home.
Maybe a month later, that tumblr post about the Loose Ends Project was going around. It felt like a sign--I was never going to learn to crochet in order to finish my grandmother's blanket. But they might be able to help!
So I filled out the interest form. They got back to me SUPER quick. And maybe 2 weeks later, I was paired with volunteer in my state (only 2 hours away!) and the box of yarn, granny squares, and my grandmother's crochet hook were in the mail. That was at the end of January this year.
Over the next couple of months, my "finisher" emailed me regular updates on her progress, and asked me questions on my preferences for how she constructed the final blanket.
At the end of August, the blanket was done!
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I had always intended the blanket to be a gift for my mother. So I cleaned it up, put it in the only bag I had big enough to fit it, and drove to my mom's. I gave the blanket to her and she was gobsmacked. I explained to her all about Loose Ends, and how someone volunteered to finish the piece for us. She was speechless. (I was quite pleased with this, because I am not the best at giving gifts, so this was a pretty exciting reaction!)
She said that it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given. She said "your grandma would love this". To which I replied, "yeah, I know she really wanted to finish it a couple of years ago". But that was when my mom dropped the bomb of a century on me--she told me that my grandma had started making those granny squares OVER 30 YEARS AGO. She had started the blanket when my grandpa was staying in the hospital, but that was back when my mom was younger than I am now! My grandma had packed them all away, planning on finishing it, when my grandpa was sent home from the hospital. Then it went from house to house, from condo in Chicago to their apartment in my hometown. All that time and my grandma had wanted to finish it, but couldn't. First because she was busy, then because she forgot how to do it, then because of her arthritis, and then because of the cancer. My mom said she had given up on expecting my grandma to finish it. 
She said I brought a piece of her childhood with her mom out of the past.
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And really, all of this is to say, if you have seen or heard about the Loose Ends Project and have an uncompleted project or piece from a loved one who has passed away--these are your people. They were so kind and treated my project with such care. That box probably would have been found by my own grandkids one day if I hadn't heard about Loose Ends.
Five stars, absolutely worth it!
(From what I understand, you can sign up to volunteer too! If you have time to share, it might be worth checking out!)
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femmeroll · 11 days ago
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hiii, could you write something about sevika corrupting a sweet church girl?
your blog is really cute btw <3
omg omg omg !!! i’ve been dying to write something like this, thank you for the request!!
sevika x fem reader
cw: religion, corruption, implied age gap, fingering, semi-public.
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you’re a good girl. made good grades in school, good daughter, good sister, kind person. you never miss a sunday service. and if you must, you’ll be at the church for service on monday afternoon. you spend your life being pure, avoiding sin wherever it may rear its devilish head.
no pride or greed or lust. just simple, sweet purity.
that is, until you meet that lady.
every day on your walk home from mass you see her. maybe mid forties, dark hair, and easily six feet tall. she stands outside the deli every morning at 11:45 on the dot for her smoke break.
and every sunday morning she says hello, or good morning, or asks how ‘sunday school’ is going. it’s strange. you always give her a smile, say hello back, but she seems so condescending. like every word she says to you is secretly making fun of you.
you don’t really know her either, which is weird. it’s a small town, everyone knows each other. not…her thought. she’s just an impossibly rude person you see on sundays that causes you to remember the jesus was always kind to strangers.
it’s a cold january morning, sidewalks slick with ice. like clockwork, that woman is standing outside the deli with her cigar.
“careful, virgin mary. don’t want you slippin’ out here.”
okay, rude.
“i’m okay, no need to worry,” you respond, stopping in your tracks in front of her. the gaze she holds on you is almost uncomfortable. she’s staring down at you like she’ll burst out laughing at any moment. like the mere idea of you is just hilarious to her.
“sevika, by the way. my name.”
oh. sevika. okay.
“y/n. it’s nice to properly meet you. i’ve never seen you around outside of…this.”
“i’m not very social” she responds.
you smile. you certainly know the best way for people to find community in town.
“well, there’s a service on mon-”
she cuts you off with a scoff. “not interested. not the place for me.”
“why not?”
sevika leans closer, letting her lips fall near your ears.
“i like smoking, drinking, cursing, fucking. it’s not the place for me, princess.”
you clutch the cross around your neck with a gasp. this is wrong on so many levels. sinful, disgusting, unnatural…and yet you feel your face getting impossibly redder.
sevika stomps out her cigarette. “see you next sunday, princess.”
whether you like it or not, sevika evokes quite a bit of lust in you. her smirk, her piercing grey eyes, her muscles that stretch the fabric of her impossibly tight tshirt…you can’t help it. the forbidden fruit is strong. you suppose it’s all a part of the lord’s plan. send you a taste of homosexual temptation and watch you be a true follower.
you aren’t though.
you entertain her flirting, all her lustful stares, and your church dresses start to come above the knee just to give her something to look at. you don’t know why you like this so much. it’s gross. it’s wrong. it’s against god’s wishes.
but jesus christ, one look from sevika and that all goes out the window. every good christian moral, everything you’ve known to be true disappears the second sevika locks eyes with you.
after a monday evening service, you take your weekly stroll home. it’s dinner time, and sevika is working.
you open the door to the deli, seeing sevika behind the counter. you watch silently as she meticulously rearranges the meats on display.
“i could use some dinner, sevika” you say and she perks up, brief shock replaced with her signature smirk.
“princess. c’mon back, i’ll make you whatever sandwich you want.”
and she does. you’re sitting on a wooden stool in the back of the deli, making small talk. sevika’s presence feels strangely right, like these little moments were made to happen. maybe this was the lord’s plan after all.
sevika steps closer, towering over you.
“you have sauce on your lips. messy eater, huh princess?”
she takes her calloused thumb and wipes the sauce away, eyes never leaving yours. the air feels thicker and your face feels hotter. and without skipping a beat, your lips on on sevika’s.
she stammers a bit in shock, then immediately gaining back control. she wraps her hand around the back of your neck to pull you in deeper. you can feel her smirking against you, prying your lips apart and exploring the inside of your mouth with her tongue.
her lips feel like the missing piece of a puzzle, perfectly slotting against yours in a dance of passion and affection. she’s calculated with the way she kisses, making sure you feel every bit of her tongue gliding against your mouth.
“sevika-” you pant, pulling away. “we shouldn’t, i-it’s not right.”
“shush, princess,” she growls, “gods not watching right now.”
and maybe he’s not. so fuck it. you nod and let sevika pull your blouse off, pushing her head into your chest. she litters your chest in bites, reveling in the sweet moans you let out.
her hands make their way under your skirt, silently asking for permission to pull your slick panties down.
all you can do is nod, desperate and utterly dumb for her touch.
“so soft, princess…” she moans, “so wet. is that all for me?”
another nod.
“you gonna be a good girl?”
another nod.
sevika pulls hand away with an evil grin. “words. or you aren’t getting shit from me.”
“yes, it’s all for you. yes, i’ll be good. please hurry before i remember that i’m a woman of god and stop,” you groan.
her ring finger circles your swollen clit, spreading your folds and rubbing you down to your needy hole. one of her thick fingers is enough to stretch you out, walls tightening around her as she slowly moves in and out of your cunt.
“tight fuckin’ pussy…so pure and innocent, huh? just a good little church girl who likes other women fucking her greedy cunt?”
she chuckles darkly at herself, and at the way you get even tighter at her mean words. so humiliating, so blasphemous, so unholy. and yet every deep, deliberate thrust has you closer and closer to cumming.
“sevika,” you whimper, “i can’t hold it, please.”
“is that right?” she teases.
“you can cum, baby. but make sure to repent after.”
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dear-ao3 · 4 months ago
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the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)
Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2
hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 
what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.
the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)
and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024
and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!
anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.
but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 
first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 
what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 
george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt
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fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.
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we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 
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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though
and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.
also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.
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he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting
charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.
oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc
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max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.
we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 
heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:
lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 
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lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around
george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged
george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something
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max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 
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and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)
and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip
then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama
haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”
in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.
adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 
ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 
mercedes? nah
williams? no too much of a shit show
aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 
that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 
apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 
he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 
fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.
by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).
lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:
"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."
mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:
mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 
lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….
and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."
max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."
and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 
a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 
but! there is more! 
daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.
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which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.
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which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 
and with that. the baku lore. 
theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 
such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:
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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that
the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully
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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.
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speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 
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then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 
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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.
some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 
franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 
also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 
but alas. qualifying. 
i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 
so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 
max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 
slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 
charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 
and franco has never been to baku before. 
i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 
q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 
the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 
the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 
lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 
now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 
if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 
in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.
and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 
q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 
in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 
and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 
max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 
and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 
steaming on forward to q3. 
we had, for review, in q3 the following: 
both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 
right out the gate it was wild. 
“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 
everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 
here were the standings: 
charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando
and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-
wait a second what is that
could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!
oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk
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meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.
and what do you know i have time
so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say
"the williams still has the air box fan in"
"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.
and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:
"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"
alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 
franco did tho!
and here were out qualifying results: 
p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 
oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 
everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second
onto the race. 
notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.
and so, we head into lap 1.
charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 
someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 
by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 
also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.
and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 
yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 
franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 
lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 
george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 
on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 
and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 
several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 
“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 
mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 
and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 
they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 
remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.
lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 
thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 
mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!
meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 
several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 
ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 
charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 
carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th
this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.
also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 
max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 
but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”
this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 
meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 
lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 
“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 
10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:
oscar
+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 
lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max
at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”
“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 
we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.
definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 
oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 
and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 
“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)
meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 
but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 
what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 
the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.
and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:
instagram
but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 
which meant 
OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP
and george inherited p3! 
and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 
“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 
he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 
instagram
he also got driver of the day! 
(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)
gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 
george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 
charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 
oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.��� and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.
and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!
the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 
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and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them
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(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)
george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium
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the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:
instagram
and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 
-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management
-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 
-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season
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-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)
-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red
-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 
-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)
-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 
-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 
-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 
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-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.
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-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 
-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 
-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 
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-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast
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and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 
see you all soon!!!
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lanf1an · 9 days ago
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SEASONS lando norris x fewtrell sister pt.2 - january 5 2025
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pt.1 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6
wordcount: 1810
The door of the ski lodge burst open, making you look up from your drink. Max appeared, the rest of the group having found Lando and you, waving and dragging his snowboard behind him, with Dylan close on his heels. Flo and Cisca followed.
“Absolute perfection out there,” Max declared, his grin as wide as the horizon. He dropped into the chair across from you and immediately launched into a story about his wipeout. Dylan followed, unstrapping his boots with practiced ease.
“Max, you forgot to mention the part where I saved your ass after you faceplanted.”
“Details,” Max said with a dismissive wave before turning to Lando. “Hey, Lan, you know what I’ve been thinking? Quadrant should sponsor Dylan.”
Lando raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Why not?” Max said, gesturing toward Dylan. “He’s Red Bull-sponsored already, and he’s basically a legend. Plus, Dylan would kill it in the merch.”
Dylan laughed, shaking his head. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m not exactly esports material, and I think Lando’s got the whole ‘speed’ thing covered.”
Lando leaned back in his chair, considering. “It’s not a bad idea. Could bring a new vibe to the team, snowboarding isn’t racing.” 
“Exactly!” Max exclaimed, clearly pleased with himself.
The conversation drifted as the group packed up their stuff and made their way back to the lodge. You watched Dylan joking with Cisca, Cisca had dragged Dylan into a conversation about snowboarding tricks and she was clustered to his lips, he was laughing as he sketched a move with his hands.“You’ve got to teach me that,” she said, eyes wide with excitement. “Anytime” Dylan said with a grin. his easy charm blending seamlessly with the group, and you couldn’t help but feel a swell of affection for him. 
Later, back at the lodge, Magui arrived, her presence lighting up the room. Lando was quick to meet her by the doorway, pulling her into a easy kiss before taking her coat. They looked perfect together, the F1 driver and the model—a picture straight out of a magazine. Their reunion was quiet and easy, as though they were used to these quick and fleeting moments together. This time she was also only staying for a few days.
You turned back to the kitchen, focusing on the mugs of hot chocolate you were preparing. Dylan leaned in the door opening, watching you with a soft smile.
“Should I take over?” he asked. “You’ve been hostess of the year this trip.”
You laughed, handing him a steaming mug. “I think I’ve got it under control. Go mingle.”
He gave you a mock salute and wandered back to join the others
You busied yourself setting the table for dinner, Lando helping. 
Dinner was a lively affair, with Max recounting his earlier escapades and Cisca chiming in with sarcastic commentary. Magui's laugh ringing out at all the right moments, but mostly at Lando’s stories, which were less frequent since they were having quiet conversations with the two of them, keeping to themselves, her hand resting on Lando’s arm as if it belonged there.
As the evening wore on, the group moved from dinner to games and then to music and dancing. The wine flowed freely, laughter and warmth filling the lodge. By the time the night wound down, most of the group was sprawled across the couches and floor, drowsy but content.
You found yourself beside Lando on the couch, the fire casting a warm glow over the room. He leaned against the armrest, his half-empty glass of wine dangling from his fingers. His gaze was fixed on the flickering flames.
“You okay?” you asked softly, tucking your feet beneath you.
Lando turned to you, his usual smirk replaced with something quieter. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”
“Dangerous territory for you,” you teased, nudging his shoulder.
He huffed a laugh. “You’re hilarious.”
You sat in comfortable silence for a moment before he spoke again, his voice quieter. “Do you ever feel like… like you’re just going through the motions?” Lando asked suddenly, his voice low. “Like you’re living the life everyone expects you to, but it’s not really yours?”
You blinked confused, caught off guard by his sudden unexpected choice of subject. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged, swirling the wine in his glass. “Magui’s great. She is. But sometimes I wonder if we’re together because we want to be or because it just… fits the narrative. F1 driver and model. Picture-perfect.”
You didn’t respond immediately, sensing he needed to say more.
“You and Dylan…” Lando continued, his voice tinged with something you couldn’t quite place. “You guys are so natural. You actually know each other, and it works. It’s real. I want that. Something real.”
“Lando…” you started, unsure of what to say. “You’ll have that too. You’ve never even wanted that yet—focusing on racing, and look where that’s brought you.”
“You know what, Fewtrell? You’ve got it good with Dylan. That’s what I want. Someone who actually gets me. Not just someone who… looks good on my arm.” Lando repeated himself. 
“You’re drunk, Lan.” you concluded.
“No, I mean it. F1 relationships… they’re all the same. Shallow. Temporary. But you and Dylan… that’s real. I want that.”
You sensed he wasn't going to give it a break. You gave a short laugh, shaking your head. “Lando, you haven’t even been looking for something real.” you also repeated yourself, hoping he would hear it now.
He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve been focused on winning races and kissing other girls in clubs,” you shot back, tone light but edged with meaning. “You don’t get to complain about not having something real when you’ve never made room for it.”
Lando winced, the guilt flashing across his face. You know you should judge him for it—anyone else, and you probably would have. But you also knew his world was different. A life on the road, racing nearly every weekend, with a level of attention and temptation most people couldn’t imagine.
You softened slightly. “Look, I know it’s hard. F1 relationships aren’t exactly a blueprint for stability. You barely see each other because you’re always traveling, and there are... distractions. But if you really want something real, it’s not going to fall into your lap. You’ve got to make space for it.”
“How do you know I haven’t?” he said defensively, though the edge in his voice was weaker now.
“Because I know you,”
His shoulders sagged, and the guilt returned, more evident this time. “Okay. Maybe I haven’t. But I want it now,” he said, quieter, almost like a confession.
You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “Oh, so now you’ve decided you want it all?”
He frowned slightly, unsure where you were going with this.
“You know, the McLaren constructor’s championship, driver’s world champion…” You gestured vaguely, your tone laced with playful sarcasm. “You can’t have everything, Lando. Life doesn’t work that way.’’ 
Lando leaned his head back against the couch, his gaze flickering to you. “You’re probably right.”
“Of course, I’m always right,” you said, sticking out your tongue, having had enough of this serious conversation this late at night, sleepiness taking over. 
He glanced at you, a faint smirk forming. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
— London, november 14 2015
At sixteen year old, it had felt like a disaster. Not in a catastrophic way—nothing earth-shattering had gone wrong—but in a teenage life it was one of the worst things. Her first time with her then-boyfriend, a sweet enough guy who she thought had cared. She’d expected… something. Fireworks, a sense of closeness, maybe even just a feeling of satisfaction. But all she’d been left with was disappointment  and a desperate need to shake it off.
When Max hadn’t answered her texts, she’d turned to the one other person who always seemed to know what to say—or at least how to distract her.
Lando had shown up within ten minutes of her cryptic “What are you doing right now?” text, a bag of chips in one hand and a pack of her favorite chocolate in the other.
“Alright,” he’d said, flopping onto the couch beside her. “What’s up? Max is out of commission?”
She hadn’t meant to tell him. She’d thought maybe they’d just watch a movie or play a game so she’d feel distracted. But the words had spilled out before she could stop them.
“It sucked Lan,” she admitted, her voice cracking between a laugh and a cry. “I thought it would be… I don’t know. Better.”
Lando blinked, clearly trying to process what she’d just said. “Wait, are you saying—”
“Yes,” she interrupted, burying her face in her hands. “And don’t make it weird, okay?”
“I’m not making it weird,” he protested, though his tone was slightly higher than usual. “I just… wasn’t expecting that.”
She peeked at him through her fingers, his expression a mix of surprise and something she couldn’t quite place. “What, you didn’t think I’d ever have sex?”
“No, I mean—yeah, obviously, you would. I just didn’t think…” He trailed off, ruffling his hair awkwardly. “Never mind. What happened?”
And so she told him. About the awkward pauses, the fumbling, the little to no attention for her, and the overwhelming sense that something was missing.
“It’s not supposed to feel like that, right?” she asked, her voice small.
Lando had been quiet for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t think there’s a ‘supposed to.’ It’s different for everyone, but… yeah, it probably shouldn’t feel like that. You want me to go beat him up? I’m not that big, but I’m scrappy.”
She huffed a laugh, leaning back against the couch. “Great. Glad to know I’m just unlucky, then.”
“Hey,” he said, nudging her with his shoulder. “It’s definitely not you. Sometimes it’s just… the wrong person. Or the wrong timing. Or both.”
“Thanks, Dr. Norris,” she teased, but her smile was genuine.
They’d spent the rest of the night watching the movie and talking about everything and nothing. By the time he got up to leave, the heaviness in her chest had lifted, replaced by a warm sense of gratitude.
As he slipped on his jacket, he turned to her, a familiar smirk tugging at his lips. “Can’t believe the first time your first time isn’t with me, it doesn’t work out. Mistakes, Fewtrell.”
She rolled her eyes, groaning. “Oh my god, Lando.”
“No, seriously,” he continued, winking as he opened the door. “We could have had an actual good first time, you know. Just saying, everything’s better with me.”
“Get out,” she said, throwing a pillow at him as he laughed and ducked out of the room.
But even as the door clicked shut behind him, she found herself smiling, shaking her head at his ridiculousness. Only Lando could turn a moment like that into something lighthearted without dismissing how she felt. 
WN: Hi guys!! Thanks so much for reading!! Hope you like it! Let me know what you think, not my favorite chapter.... but bear with me please!! I'm open for all suggestions and feedback! Posting part 3 tomorrow!
tl: @ash88-yep @lewishamiltonismybf @harrysdimple05
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cityofmeliora · 4 months ago
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Secondo lied about being able to speak Swedish, and Terzo lied about *not* being able to speak Swedish
this is honestly one of the funniest things i've noticed in the Ghost lore 😂
when Secondo performed live in Sweden, he would speak some broken / mispronounced Swedish words and phrases on stage.
at Terzo's very first concert, he called out Secondo for lying. Secondo couldn't actually speak Swedish. he was just trolling, and Terzo thought that was a stupid prank. unlike his brother, Terzo admitted he did not speak Swedish, and he asserted he would not troll the audience by attempting to speak Swedish on stage. he re-iterated this several times at concerts in Sweden.
PAPA EMERITUS III: My imbecile brother has somehow fooled you into thinking he can speak some fucking Swedish– pidgin Swedish. No more of that! I do not speak Swedish, OK? Linköping, Sweden (June 3, 2015) via Youtube and Instagram
PAPA EMERITUS III: How are you doing? It's nice to see so many of you here. What has it been, a little over a year? My brother told me about you. And you do know that I'm not gonna trick you with any fucking pidgin Swedish, huh? I know he fooled you into believing he could talk. He sounded like a fucking asshole. Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)
... except Terzo was also totally lying because later in the same concert in Stockholm, Terzo yells at the audience in fluent Swedish.
PAPA EMERITUS III: FATTA DET HÄR FÖR HELVETE! Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)
"FATTA DET HÄR FÖR HELVETE!" translates to something like "UNDERSTAND THIS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
Terzo was so bad at maintaining this lie about not speaking Swedish. he continually insisted that he could not speak Swedish, but he also kept demonstrating that not only was he a fluent Swedish speaker, he was very familiar with the culture.
PAPA EMERITUS III: Good evening. How do you do? Alright, let me get this straight to you now: Despite the band being a Swedish band, I don’t speak Swedish, OK? But I can try. You wanna hear me try? You know, we got some awards which we are very thankful for, obviously. So I can say, “Jag är kåt, glad, och tacksam.” And I can say, “Plopp.” “Kexchoklad.” Bandit Rock Awards 2016 (January 19, 2016)
“Jag är kåt, glad, och tacksam.” means "I am horny, happy, and thankful."
"Plopp" and "Kexchoklad" are the names of two Swedish chocolate candies.
PAPA EMERITUS III: I know for a fact that here in Skåne you like your potatoes, huh? Spettekaka. How fitting, because this song we’re gonna do right now does have a culinary theme that you might like. Malmö, Sweden (February 25, 2016)
Skåne is the county of Sweden where this concert was performed.
Spettekaka is a Swedish dessert.
unless they're already very familiar with Swedish, an English speaker wouldn't know how to pronounce most of these words correctly, and Terzo does.
obviously, this is all because TF is Swedish and had trouble staying in character. but the lore implications are hilarious for Terzo HAHAHA. he loves to lie and he's so bad at it.
(BTW i actually don't speak Swedish! if you are a fluent speaker, feel free to correct my translations!)
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reverie-starlight · 11 months ago
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I miss knb and I wanted to write something for aomine :’) I’ve never written for him and it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show, so forgive me if you feel that his characterization is a bit off. hello from late january cause that’s when I’m queuing this 👋🏻
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. lots and lots and lots of fluffy pet names bc that’s the focus of the drabble. he calls you shnookums once just to annoy you bc he’s a little shit. that’s a warning in itself tbh. mentions of alcohol/drunk character. characters written as adults, not high schoolers.
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aomine has specific nicknames for you depending on the situation you find yourselves in.
he reserves “babe” or some shortened variation of your name for when you’re in public.
it’s quick, it’s casual, and it doesn’t get him a lecture on why it’s not funny to very loudly address you as “shnookums” when you get separated at the grocery store.
(though in his defence, he thought it worked wonders. you were back at his side within seconds after straying too far on accident with a half embarrassed, half pissed off look on your face. he thought it was hilarious.)
~~~
he calls you “baby” when he greets you after a long day at work. when he’s picking you up from your classes. normally only in your presence, because he doesn’t need the teasing remarks about how soft he’s become from his teammates.
not that he really cares at the end of the day- he’ll call you what he wants to call you (provided you also like it, of course) but there’s something less casual about it that makes him want to keep it just for you.
that “something” being the time you got drunk and offhandedly mentioned loving the way it sounds in his voice. he now gets to enjoy the small, barely noticeable uptick of your lips whenever he opts for it. no one else gets to see that.
he’ll help you with your coat and press a kiss to your hairline, murmuring a soft “hey baby, missed you today”.
it’s probably the most common of the names he uses on you out of all the available options.
~~~
he saves the saccharine pet names for when he knows you’re not feeling your best. whether you’re mentally drained, physically exhausted or sick to any degree, there’s never not a time when hearing him be sickeningly sweet with you doesn’t ease the pain.
“need anything else, sweetheart?”
“how are you feeling, gorgeous?”
“yeah, we can cuddle, doll, c’mere.”
these are also the times he plays up the compliments (more than usual).
“even when you’re sick, you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. don’t let it get to your head, though. or do- I know how to deal with that just fine, too.”
~~~
he doesn’t have one set nickname for you when you visit him at practice, but when you watch him play in an official game?
as long as you’ve known him, he’s never believed in luck- he got himself to where he is with his skills, luck had nothing to do with it.
so it surprises you the first time he refers to you as his good luck charm. it’s not said in some grand gesture, not brought up in those fluff promotional interviews when reporters ask him if he has one.
it’s whispered quietly into your ear before he jogs onto the court.
a murmured thank you against your lips as soon as he’s running off again, high on a win, straight to you.
you ask him about it one day and he just shrugs. “everything is different now. I play better when I know you’re watching, it’s energizing in a way I’ve never felt before. you’re right, I still don’t believe in luck, but somehow I was able to find you. and I don’t know if I would call that luck, either, but until I find a better way to explain it you’re just gonna have to put up with that title a bit longer.”
so you do, without complaints, because it’s cute trying to watch him convey his feelings honestly and still in a very aomine way.
~~~
your absolute favourite nickname that he’s given you, though? angel.
you’re his angel.
the title is first appointed when you pick him up one night from a bar after celebrating with his team. his usually brooding expression visibly lights up when he sees you and he makes his way over. it’s been a while since he’s been this drunk, so it makes you laugh when he stumbles over and throws an arm around your shoulders.
“what a sweetheart, you really came to pick me up?”
you scoff and try to get him into the car, waving at his teammates who were staying with him until you got there. “what, baby, you thought I wouldn’t?”
he shrugs with an absentminded grin. “it’s just nice to have a… battle angel or whatever that term is. I dunno what it is.”
you can’t help but laugh. “you mean a guardian angel?”
“same thing, you knew what I meant!” his words are slurred and he’s now leaning his entire body weight against you.
“oh you are so wasted, daiki, let’s get you home.”
and it’s whispered again at home as he’s falling asleep, “my angel… thank you for taking care of me tonight.”
your heart squeezes.
now it’s reserved for only the most intimate of moments with him- he doesn’t want to overuse the name and risk it losing its meaning.
because it does hold a deeper, unspoken meaning between the two of you.
after a long time apart because of his away games? after he wins an important match? loses a match and he’s thankful you’re there with him? you get a promotion at work? you pass a difficult class with flying colours? all situations where he’d call you angel.
he has a full arsenal of names for you, clearly, and you love every single one of them.
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this feels a bit messy. even after editing, I feel like the quality went down a bit, so we’ll see if I end up posting it. but I love him a lot and I’ve been rewatching knb, so I needed to do something for him to keep the brainrot at bay.
tagging: @dira333
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mccormickgf · 2 months ago
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✧ ⁺˳ .🎄࿐ kyumi’s christmas
-> welcome to my first ever kinkmas/fluffmas ! i wanted to do a mix of both smut and fluff, so there’ll be 5 of each. ALL DATES ARE TENTATIVE !!!!
-> during this, i won’t be writing any requests since this will be taking up most of my time. but feel free to send them in for me to write in january <3
mccormickgf 2024 © all rights reserved; please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost my writing.
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── i saw mommy kissing santa claus ! ft. butters scotch
��� every year, your husband, butters, dresses up as santa for your kids. however, a poorly timed glance out of their bedroom door leads to a bizarre yet hilarious twist on christmas eve. | fluff
❆ dec. 1
── let it snow ! ft. eric cartman
❆ a record-breaking blizzard hits south park, colorado, and you're stuck outside eric cartman’s house, who just happens to be your sworn enemy. what choice do you have but to knock on the door? | smut
❆ dec. 3
── santa baby ! ft. wendy testaburger
❆ you knew you never should’ve accepted a gift from eric cartman. but maybe it was the final push you and your roommate wendy needed to finally confess. | smut
❆ dec. 6
── winter wonderland ! ft. kyle broflovski
❆ every christmas, your family always brings up the topic of you having a boyfriend and "settling down." each year, you begrudgingly tell them you're still single. but this year will be different— and you need your best friend, kyle, to help you out. | fluff
❆ dec. 9
── baby, it’s cold outside ! ft. kenny mccormick
❆ delivering your last gift on christmas eve leads to you into your best friend’s dads bed. | smut
❆ dec. 11
── it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas ! ft. stan marsh
❆ every christmas, you and stan always compete to see who can give the best gift. but this year, it’s safe to say you won. | fluff
❆ dec. 13
── deck the halls ! ft. stan marsh & wendy testaburger
❆ messing around while christmas decorating with your partners, stan and wendy, leads to more than any of you expected. | smut
❆ dec. 15
── last christmas ! ft. craig tucker & tweek tweak
❆ christmas has been a sore subject for you for a few years now. maybe two annoying upstairs neighbours can help bring back your christmas spirit. | fluff
❆ dec. 18
── jingle bells ! ft. kenny mccormick
❆ hanging a bell on your choker was supposed to be a cute addition to your winter outfit. who knew your boyfriend would go feral? | smut
❆ dec. 21
── i’ll be home for christmas ! ft. craig tucker
❆ a blizzard delays all of the flights back to south park, but craig’s got you waiting for him. he’s determined to make it home. | fluff
❆ dec. 24
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chimivx · 1 year ago
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🌛 “and you know, for you, i’d bleed myself dry. for you” 🌜
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fresh out of college, when you think your life has hit a standstill, that you’ll be stuck behind a desk for eternity, the universe decides to play a joke. a hilariously, wonderful, beautiful joke that hurls you into your future without any time to think it through. you’re dating an… Idol?!
part one • 2015 • boy on a curb
part two • 2015 • strangers in a situation
part three • 2015 • twelve day fling
part four • 2015 • i don’t know what an nda is
part five • 2016 • from his accident
part six • 2016 • it wasn’t meant to be
part seven • 2016 • just talk to me
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a peek into the life of an Idol and his soulmate tackling the obstacles that come with having a surprise in the whirlwind of a world they live in.
release order: (how they're intended to be read, but do not have to!)
vegas, baby. vegas, baby. part two that january morning. simply one-derful. expecting, expected. vegas, baby. part three public occurrences. best day ever. champagne confetti.
timeline order:
that january morning. expecting, expected. best day ever. vegas, baby. vegas, baby. part two vegas, baby. part three simply one-derful. public occurrences. champagne confetti.
updates/moments:
august 2024 november 2024
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READ IT ON AO3!
yellow tag
vegas tag
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heart-of-the-morningstar · 14 days ago
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Thank You 💖
Hi all! I wanted to take this time to thank everyone single one of you for making my year as incredible as it was. 2024 was definitely filled with ups and downs for me personally, but one of the best things that happened to me this year were the incredible friends I’ve made on here.
On January 25th, 2024, the Hazbin fandom was introduced to Lucifer Morningstar for the first time. And my God, did that change my life (for the better). A few weeks after that, I posted my first ever Lucifer x Reader story, just as a small passion project because I couldn’t get that little man out of my head! I’ve never written x reader or smut content before that, so I wasn’t expecting much reception. Little did I know what would happen because of that one decision I’ve made.
Now, I have 13 official Lucifer x Reader stories along with countless small smutty snippets all about being intimate with our favorite fallen angel. A truly unexpected turn of events but one I would not change for anything!
I have made so many good friends because of this; I was even lucky enough to meet a few of them in person! I want you all to know that I love and cherish every single one of you. To everyone who’s written me a message, left a comment on my works, wrote the most insane and hilarious tags in your reblogs, and created beautiful artwork based on the stories; you have my entire heart and soul and I could never show my appreciation enough. Even if you took time to read anything I’ve written, it means more to me than you know.
The only thing I can think to give you all is a promised date for Chapter 5 of Dress Up. As an anniversary celebration for our darling Luci, I will be posting the next installment on January 25, 2025! This is one of my favorite stories I’ve come up with so I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do!
After that, I’m hoping to continue my writing! And I’m hoping we get some new Hazbin news this year! My stories may take longer to write in the future but I’m excited to see what else I can try to create! I have one request before I go though…I would love to know which of my stories were your favorite! I always wanted to make a poll but I never got around to it, so this is the next best thing!
For now, I wish you all a wonderful and happy new year. I pray 2025 is good and kind to all of you. Thank you everyone again, and I’ll see ya next year! 💖
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newtonsheffield · 5 days ago
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Stay strong, Molly! 💪🏼 We are all cheering on you. You've got this!
Have you already signed the contract at your new work?
Also, will you be able to take some time off before you leave? Or even sick leave... I know that it'd be best to part ways amicably, but if they don't treat you with respect you deserve, why should you be obliged to do them the courtesy?
I’ve signed all the paperwork, I’m just waiting to start.
The hilarious thing is Gossip Girl finally came to speak to me yesterday at 4:30pm. An entire eight hours after we started work together for the day. Said in a very monotone
“Sorry to hear. Now, we need to focus on what you’re going to tell patients.”
I have built an extremely loyal patient base. Their major concern is my patients not returning to the practice. My patients can’t legally follow me as I’ll be working for the government and government dental isn’t available for everyone in Australia.
I shattered their illusion that this is part of a depressive episode though and had no job to go to though and then she announced my leaving date as 12 days earlier than I had said it would be in my resignation. So basically… they want to fuck me over and not pay me ✌🏻 I might have to go for six weeks without pay. I am waiting for a response to find out if that’s a typo on their behalf.
I was then begrudgingly handed a gift for my seven year anniversary (happened on the fifth of January though they got the date wrong for the third year running).
They now started making pointed enquiries about my friends and whether or not they’re seeking employment elsewhere (yes) and are preventing me from working with all bar one person whose work visa is tied to the practice in the fear that I will start some sort of mutiny I believe.
Live shot of how my work currently views me
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All in all… didn’t go as poorly as I thought it could have and yet… still quite badly.
Oh well. Just another few weeks.
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momtaku · 3 months ago
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Thoughts on the Attack on Titan Musical
tl:dr; It's been two weeks but I am still not over it.
When I posted the photo of myself holding the playbill of the Attack on Titan musical the most common reaction was "WHAT???", so I guess some background might be good to start with.
Yes, the Attack on Musical is a thing. It was first performed in Japan in January 2023 with shows in Osaka and Tokyo. When it was announced that a second run of the musical would include New York City, I pounced on tickets.
See, it's real! This is my video of the closing number. We were allowed to record this.
The New York run was at the New York City Center which seats about 2200 people. There were a total of 4 shows the weekend of Oct 12. I attended the Saturday matinee. The style of this production is known 2.5D, and is incredibly popular in Japan. I did some checking and this is the first time a 2.5D anime adaptation has appeared outside of Asia. Did Attack on Titan work as a musical?
Surprisingly yes, although I think anyone who wandered in off the streets would've been thoroughly confused. The themes that attracted most of us to the series translate wonderfully to the stage, and despite knowing the story well, they managed to make it feel fresh. Carla's death, for instance. When she realized she was trapped and facing certain death, her song to Eren and Mikasa was a children's lullaby about survival. That portion of the manga always hit me hard, but the desperation, horror and love set to a lullaby? Damn it musical, you made me cry.
The original scene of Hange leading a Titan Biology class might be my favorite of the entire show. The actor who played Hange was the perfect amount of unhinged and delightful as they dance across the table while the 104th answered a pop quiz. (And yes to "they" since the playbill specifically mentions that the actor in the role was known for her portrayal of nonbinary characters.) It was genuinely hilarious.
The musical covers the first 11 chapters of the manga, stopping in the "Struggle for Trost" arc, where the plan for Eren to plug the hole in the wall was conceived but not yet executed. I remember reading that portion of the manga years ago and feeling that same sense of optimism. So the musical ends on a high. Humans finally have a way to win against the titans, It felt like a strange place to end, knowing what ultimately happens in the story, so I wondered if the intention is for a part 2 musical adaptation.
(btw, the staging of "can you plug the hole" had Eren and Levi kneeling closely on the floor together with a manly shoulder clasp looking earnestly at each other. It had me looking at my very ereri friend with raised eyebrows. It was for sure her favorite moment.) What was the performance like?
The short run 2.5D musicals don't have the polish or production budget of a true broadway musical, but it was still wildly entertaining. Since the director is known for breakdance and hiphop, there was plenty of that. The dance numbers were fun. The songs were catchy.
Rather than try to describe it, here's a TikTok review that shows off the 3dmg, the titans, and that two minute head spin that no one could shut up about.
instagram
Also, the cast could not have been for perfect. I mean LOOK AT THEM!
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From this tweet
Who was in attendance?
As I mentioned before, this was a first in many ways so it attracted people from all over the world. While I was opening my blind box items, I met a group older women from Japan who'd travelled to New York from Tokyo and had purchased tickets to every single NY performance. Their English wasn't great, and my Japanese is nonexistent, but what surprised me the most wasn't their dedication to the show, but that they seemed genuinely surprised to see me. I don't know if that was because I too am an older fan like them, or if they weren't expecting equally passionate westerners at the show but I tend to think it was both. I suspect the Japanese fandom has no idea how big this series is outside of Japan, or that it attracts such a diverse audience.
My podcast partner Luna was sitting next to two women who'd flown in from California. They knew nothing about Attack on Titan but were fans of the actor who played Eren. Since it was his first time performing outside of Japan, they came solely to see him.
On my flight home was a 22 year old wearing an Attack on Titan musical t-shirt. We started talking and I learned it was his first time in New York, his first time seeing a broadway musical, and his first time traveling alone. He just loves the series that much.
In general the audience was much younger than what you'd normally see at a broadway show and 100% more excited. Plenty of people were in cosplay or else wearing Attack on Titan clothing. The atmosphere was insane.
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My merch haul
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The mug and t-shirt sold out before the second show so I was glad I was there early to snag them. The playbill is selling on Mercari for almost $50. Sadly my poster didn't survive the trip home. It cracked in about 50 places.
Did you do anything else in NYC
Aside from hanging out with so many of my favorite people, the Kodansha Popup House was going on. It was incredibly cool.
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We met up with James from the Titan Teatime podcast. I think the plan is do a joint podcast in a few weeks to get everyone's thoughts . I'll post more about that if it actually happens.
Final Thoughts
Rumor has it that the show's successful New York run could mean it will branch out further. If it goes to London, nothing will stop me from being there. It was that much fun, and I can't wait to share the experience with my European friends.
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mtsyik · 1 month ago
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The babysitter and the babysittee♡
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Chapter one: Meet Cute
This is my first time posting a story with many parts, so I hope that it is an enjoyable read! Reblogging is permitted, and please know that english is not my first language, so excuse any mistakes that I make!
Tags: 18+ satoru gojo x reader, babysitter!reader, babysittee!gojo, friends to lovers, one-sided pining, age-gap relationship, a whole lot of flirting, smut, mentions of drugs, angst, mentions of death, lovesick!gojo, engineering student!gojo, architecture student!reader
Masterlist
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The party is definitely crowded, to say the least. People making out in corners, the sounds of plastic tennis balls bouncing and people cheering, cause your eardrums to hurt. You're pretty sure you can hear someone vomiting in the backyard over the music.
All these people and you still can't find Yuna, who forcefully brought you here, with the false hope that you will end up with your tongue stuck somewhere else than those chocolate puddings you love so much. You told her it was a lost cause, that you have about 3 papers to write due the end of next month; she didn't budge. Which ultimately led you here, troubled and alone, bumping against every hormonal teenager without being one yourself. Maybe you are too old for frat parties.
You sigh as you finally find a door amidst the sea of people, hoping it wasn't some closet that doubled as a hook up spot. Luck must not be on your side, because the noises inside made you turn on your heel with a disappointed sigh (and disgust, who hooks up at a party full of people?) As you make your way outside. You make a mental note to check if your closet at home is being used a hook up spot when Yuna hosts her one-of-a-kind parties when you're away.
Freezing from the cold, the simple dress you had put on did little against the chill of January, and you hit your head with your palm as you realize that you had left your cigarettes in Yuna's (your) jacket. This night had been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster for you.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me right now."
You turn to your left, and notice some film majors smoking (what you hoped was just) nicotine, and made your way towards them.
"You mind giving me one?"
You thank them as they give you a cigarette from their pack, and you catch the name of the label, "leader".
The smoke wasn't awful, just really dry and almost made you cough a few times (picking up smoking after 2 years of quitting wasn't for the weak) but you guess it's better than nothing. You inhale the smoke and close your eyes at the feeling, trying to savor the somewhat quiet that engulfs your surroundings.
When somebody crashes into you.
You fall down dramatically, and wince at the throbbing pain of the hard concrete on your ass. This is so not the way you had planned for this night to go. It's like the universe doesn't even give you one moment of peace, with finals and the beginning of the new semester and your perfectionism together you have absolutely no time to do anything than stick your head in books. You've reached a point where not holding a 0.2 pen feels weird, but the cigarettes help with that. It's been SO LONG since you last hooked up that you can feel your virginity growing back.
You get up hastily and wipe your hands on your dress as three more guys appear out of nowhere to drag the one that crashed into you away.
"Choso what the fuck man! Is this you being able to hold him?"
"I am but one man! How am I meant to hold this mountain of a man?"
"Ma'am, are you okay?"
The scene in front of you is surprisingly hilarious, with three guys trying to get their friend to stand up while simultaneously dropping him to the ground so they can bicker about who's to blame. The one with space buns in his hair (choso, you realize) is waving his hands frantically to the pink haired guy that is obviously way too young to have beer stains all over his white shirt. You wonder if becoming 23 is when you started caring about underage drinking. You snap out of your trance when the third guy (possibly the most handsome out of the three) reaches out to grab you while asking if you're okay. He has his hair back in a ponytail, and his eyes, although slim, captivate you. His ears are decorated with all sorts of piercings, and if you notice how his mouth forms to speak, a little silver ball sits prettily on his tongue. You wonder what else can sit nicely on that tongue. You blink upon realizing the thoughts you are having about the 20yo guy in front of you. It's really been a while since you've hooked up.
"NOOOOO Geeeeto she is mine!"
"What the fuck!"
You almost fall back from the impact, and your eyes widen. The guy that literally crushed you with his body mass is clinging unto you for dear life as if you'll slip away. You try to push him off of you, but to no avail. What are they feeding 20 year old dudes these days?
"Satoru get off of her!"
"NOOO she is the- lob ove my lifeeeee"
"Get off of me man"!
Choso and one of the most handsome men you've ever seen attempt to get (Satoru? Why is that familiar?) off of you. You should be pissed off about the whole situation, you should be yelling at the man-child that has his claws on you like a hawk trying to protect their baby, you should probaply be super awkward with your cheeks flushed and your pupils dilated at the sudden affection from the stranger.
But surprisingly you are none of these things. That is until you glance down at your holy savior through life, the one thing that has never in the five years of knowing her betrayed you in any way; laying on the ground with her smoke slowly going out.
And now you are pissed.
"Can't a woman even smoke in peace these days?! What the fuck is up with your koala man?!"
"Listen I'm so sorry, I'll buy you a whole new pack i swear- Satoru get off the sweet woman!"
"Hey man, is there any way we could wrap this up? My mom wants me home by 1"
"You skipped laundry again? I told you man, you gotta help your mom out with these things"
"I F-fiiinalllyyyyy found youuuuuuu hic you are hic neveeeeeeeeer leavnggggggg"
The street lamp you've been under starts to flicker, together with the headache you've started to get from all the noise around you. And you feel something dripping out of your nose, maybe it's blood. Maybe this unfortunate situation has made you realize you have super powers - nope. It's just snot from the cold. You've watched Stranger Things too many times just for Steve Harrington. And now, with snot dripping from nose, the thought of you being curled up in your bed makes you relax a little bit.
Finally the nameless stranger drops to the ground from exhaustion, and oh that just means you fall with him with a loud thud. You are hoisted up from the drop-dead-possibly a Calvin Clein model if he wanted to- guy, (that surprisingly is the only one who seems to care about your well being) and placed on the ground and you finally can get a good look at the koala that has been harassing you.
Huh, if it wasn't for the most bothersome meet-cute of your life, you would find him incredibly attractive. White hair and even whiter skin, wearing a black sleeveless shirt that has you questioning whether you imagined his body warmth or not, and fluffy hair that moves where the wind is taking it. Not bad, not bad at all. But why do you have that nagging feeling in your brain telling you-
"Oi Satoru, why do you have to drink so much? Idiot, idiot, idiot. Ma'am, I am so sorry for the trouble he caused you. He usually, well, usually you would be the one bothering this pretty boy in front of us, no? Quite the charmer, isn't he?"
You glance at the man Mr. Worldwide Handsome is refering to. His mouth is open with saliva dripping out and he is snoring. You glance back up.
"What? How desperate do I look?"
"N-No, I didn't- damn they left"
Apparently the pink hair boy's mom is someone you do not want to get on her bad side, because he together with space bun boy had been gone from the moment they talked about laundry. My god. You are reminded of your mom and how her wrath still makes you scared to reject her advances for family dinners every once a week (even when you are too busy. You can never be too busy for family).
You grimace at your mother's voice in your head and bend down to grab your fallen comrade who was lost in the middle of the battle. After failing to protect her, the least you could do is offer her some peace in the trash can. You stop in your tracks at daddy-longlegs voice.
"well, alright. Here we go. You helping or not?"
'You've got to be kidding".
"Ma'am I'm sorry, but you think I can carry a 1,87 meter and 89 kilos man alllll the way back to my car, all on my own? I am flattered"
Okay maybe daddylonglegs was annoying you just a taaad much. Shame. It's always the hot ones.
"Oh, and I apparently look like the desperate version of She-Hulk or something? He is your friend, you can take care of him on your own!"
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
And that's how you ended up at the backseat of handsome boy #1 holding down annoying koala fuckboy from turning in his sleep and chocking on his own vomit. Although you would rather him choke on it than coat you with it, but you don't share that information with the driver.
Geto, who you've come to find out does actually have a name managed somehow, (guilt, puppy eyes and using your pure heart against you) to convince you to drive him and where's-my-hug-at back to campus, after alerting your friend for you that he would be dropping you off.
(Yuna finally remembered you after forever and called you to make sure you're okay, but Geto snatched the phone from your hand to let her know that after some business he would be driving you home tonight. From the sounds of excitement that came out of her, you now have 2 people aware of how little you fuck.)
Unaware of your surroundings as you are clouded by thought by how easily you were convinced by a stranger to drive you back to his house with his drunk friend in the backseat, (wow dumb decisions don't just magically disappear after 23?) You are also unaware of the blue eyes that are set on you.
"Hey...hic yo..."
Satoru attempts to get up but is stopped by his own body weight as he is currently too weak against the mass power of gravity, and groans.
"hey your friend is waking up-"
"shhhhhh don't tell him....hic wanna-wanna be alone with youuuu"
Geto catches your reflection from the rearview mirror and smirks at how confused you are.
"aaa don't mind him y/n. He is usually a liiittle bit too friendly when he is drunk"
"shhhhh Geeto I wanna- wanna propose, man. You don't - I foun-found her man. Found her..." Both of his hands grasp your left one and caress it softly with his fingers. His palms are rough, you think. With callouses and tiny burns, slightly dry from the cold. The beautiful cream like color of his skin more than makes up for it though, and you find yourself drawn to the blue veins that run along the entirety of his arm and-god you really need to hook up.
"Does he usually fall in love with every girl he sees? I mean, not that I'm surprised. Look at me- but is this a common fenomenon? If so, I will be offended."
Geto smiles and shakes his head slightly before pulling the lever on his right to lock the car wheels.
"No. It's not"
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You sigh as you finally enter your room, freshly showered after a long night out. Yuna is still not back, so you have successfully avoided at least one torturous night of her asking for details about this Geto-guy. You put on your pajamas and shudder at the sudden cold that engulfs you when you remove the towel wrapped around your torso.
Your phone dings with a message and you lean over to see what it is.
@geto_suguru has requested to follow you
@geto_suguru has sent you a message
piercingguy: Hey, you home yet?
you: yes, I am. You didn't have to force me to give you my socials to make sure I get here, though.
piercingguy: Gojo says hi.
piercingguy: will tell him to follow you too, so he can keep an eye on you ;)
Your eyebrows furrow as another notification pops up
@satoru_gojo has requested to follow you
You furrow at the name, blinking three times as if to refresh your brain as to why it sounds so familiar...
and then it clicks.
That poor sweet boy you babysat for one summer is now a hot, handsome attractive idiot running around telling women that they are the loves of his life while simultaneously dropping them to the floor by his incredible body mass? All that while having so so incredible hands and being cute even while drunk and confessing his unyielding love right before he faints at the arms of his friend? That's the kind of boy you helped raise? An evil grin reaches your face.
Oh, now you can't wait for family dinner.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Chapter two!
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