#jane/uma

[jaladdin]

someday we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

all of us under its spell, we know that it's probably magic.

[dizzydizney]

I was going to put Maddox on here but I truly feel like he never gets found out for his crimes

[aksandvks]

According to the Book Disney Descendants: Up Close! Mal was born in 1999.

She was 6 years old when she wasn’t invited to Evie’s 6th Birthday Party, which took place 10 years after all the villains were banished to the Island. Which places it in 2005. (Isle of The Lost Novel)

That means that That Auradon was created in 1995.

It also means that Rise of Red takes place in 2025.

[ronanceelmaxsupremacy]

Why does Red from Descendants look like Mevie’s daughter😩👀👀 now I need a fic where Red is Mal & Evie’s daughter from the future who travels back in time to prevent something bad from happening to Evie but she travels too far back and lands in the timeline where Mal is still with Ben and hasn’t confronted her feelings for Evie while Evie pines for Mal. Red then has to team who with Mal and Uma (who becomes one of E’s best friends because she helps her deal with her feelings for Mal) to prevent Evie from being in danger by the new Evie in the future while also helping Mal realize her feelings for Evie. Ugh I wish I was a decent writer so I can write this fic😭😭

[rewiredmind]

Thank you to anon w/ the lute idea I would NOT have thought of that🔥

Anyways TEN!! OF THEM !! I am hoping I missed no request 😞😞 little Jane is gonna go to little Carlos🙏 she was specifically D1 so they'd match

[bucket-barnes]

How good/bad are the VK’s immune systems?

Think about it, they all grew up on an island more or less built on trash, I feel like that could go one of two ways

1. The VK’s all have crazy good immune systems because of all the shit they were exposed to at an early age

2. Their immune systems are weak as fuck and what would be a cold for an Auradon kid is start writing your will for an Isle kid because growing up on an island covered in garbage exposes you to so many diseases

It is late, I will continue this train of thought tomorrow

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some moooore little incorrect quotes from Descendants! This is gonna be a long one, sorry not sorry.

(with ships)

Audrey: *kisses Uma*

Uma: !

Audrey: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

Uma: Did- did I what?

Audrey: My chapstick, Uma. Did you steal it?

Ben: Audrey, for the love of God, not this again.

Uma: I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Audrey: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

Uma: Chocolate and popcorn?

Ben: Why do you think it got discontinued?

(WHY IS THERE NO YELLOW! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE BEN BLUE! I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY BLUE ONES! Also slay and wtf? What a great start)

---

Ben: Do you think I'm plastic?

Audrey: No.

Ben: Phew. Oka-

Audrey: Plastic, at least, has some use in life. You're not plastic.

(Damn. What did he do to yo-..oh.. right.. yeah. I've also decided to make him Orange because it's close to yellow)

---

Ben: War is heck!

(facts)

---

Chad, to Ben: If my dad doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.

Charming, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

(Absolutely. Canon)

---

Audrey: God, if only someone loved me…

Uma: *standing behind them with roses*

Ben: *holding box of chocolates*

Chad: *has balloons and a card*

Mal: *facepalms* This is sad.

(Me: *holding a big Teddy Bear* lol I had a crush on her only in the Third movie. Loved her Queen of Mean Era)

---

Chloe: So, what is Red to you?

Maddox: The reason I wake up every morning.

Chloe: ...That’s adorable.

Red earlier that morning, barging into Maddox's room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

(They've got this sibling bond)

---

Chloe: Are pigeons drones?

Chad: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Chloe: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Chad: *Crying* Please let me sleep...

(Sibling sleepover. Also Chloe, your Mary Anne is showing)

---

Red: I intend to stay pissed at you forever.

Red: Even if I seem helpful.

Maddox: Then you're in luck.

Maddox: Because you don't.

(Canon)

---

Uma: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Carlos: Actually, Jane is my favourite.

Uma: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

(Yup and I love you. Carlos and Jane✨🫠)

---

Evie: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers “I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

(Sweet and dangerous. Perfect.)

---

Uma: Evie said its my turn with the brain cell.

Mal: Square up.

(lol. Canon.)

---

Uma: What starts with F and ends with Uck?

Chad: No it doesn't.

Jane: Firetruck!

Mal: FUCK!

(Mal speaks my mind. Jane is smart and Chad got the spirit. He's not wrong tho.)

---

Jay: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Carlos:

Jay:

Carlos: ...Please, go back to bed.

(Jay loves to annoy everyone. Mostly Mal.)

---

Carlos: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Jane's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

(..why didn't you just ask? But also impressive)

---

Chad: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?

Chloe: IT.

Dizzy: Annabelle.

Maddox: Paranormal Activity.

Red: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

(Honestly just did this because Kylie was in the HSMTMTS. Honestly. They do that in Auradon too. So watch out)

---

Red: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Chloe: ...

Red: Oh, right. The lying.

(Has she ever lied to Chloe? I don't think so. But I find the quote funny)

---

Evie: A mouse!

Mal, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Jay, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Carlos, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Gil, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Harry: His name is Remi, dummy.

Evie: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

(um.. yeah.. you know what-)

Chloe: A mouse!

Dizzy, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Celia, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Maddox, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Chad, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Red: His name is Remi, dummy.

Chloe: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

(just some family time)

---

Chad: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.

Red: That’s brilliant.

Chad: Thank you, Maddox.

(yeah)

---

Jay: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Carlos, they’re perfect.

Carlos: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon.

(Facts. He is perfect)

---

Red: Hold the fuck up.

Chloe: Excuse me?

Red: I said hold the fuck up.

Chloe:

Red: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

(Aww...canon.. I mean she's not a fuck up. Maybe in her mother's eyes. But aww)

---

Jay: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Mal: What?

Jay: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?

(Because she and Evie finally got together. UwU)

---

Evie: How do you tell someone their breath stinks?

Jay: Hey, I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.

(He definitely did that with his teammates)

---

Jay: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Evie: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

(Oof. Do I want to know?)

---

(Little surprise from the past)

Charming: Care to give a free sample to a pretty person?

Ella, manning a bake sale and tired of their shit: Sure! You know one?

Charming:

Charming: Care to give a free sample to an ugly person?

(he's trying)

---

Brigdet: I have a question.

Ella: Shoot.

Bridget: Is the S or C in scent silent?

Hook: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.

Ella: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.

Bridget: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.

Hook: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Morgie: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.

Hook: Morgie is not allowed to talk anymore.

(Just them having a double date)

---

Bridget: Made you all playlists!

Bridget: Hades and Maleficent, yours have only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Bridget: Ella and Uliana, yours have sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Bridget: Charming, Morgie and Hook have the ABBA Gold album.

(she knows them well)

---

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Ella: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Bridget: ...I did. I broke it.

Ella: No. No you didn't. Uliana?

Uliana: Don't look at me. Look at Morgie.

Morgie: What?! I didn't break it.

Uliana: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Morgie: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Uliana: Suspicious.

Morgie: No, it's not!

Hook: If it matters, probably not, but Maleficent was the last one to use it.

Maleficent: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Hook: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Maleficent: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, James!

Bridget: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Ella.

Ella: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Hook: Ella... Hades has been awfully quiet.

Hades: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Ella, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Ella: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Ella:

Ella: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

(Damn Ella)

---

Bridget: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Morgie, bored: Can’t we just leave while they’re distracted?

Ella, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Morgie: I hate you.

(No. It doesn't taste good and it's flaky? I don't like the paper ones. I like the plastic ones. Love to chew on them, tastes neutral ig idk. Wooden sticks tho. Taste great. And you can chew on them. But they break easily and you could get a splinter I think? But still Wooden wins for me. Plastic second and then paper)

---

Hope you liked it!

This was a bit longer.

Sorry not sorry.

Byeee.

[marinafanning]

the problem with descendants is that every single ship is so cute

like. happy pride month !! evie x mal ? but evie and doug are so cute. jay x carlos ? but jay has lonnie and carlos has jane. but ben and carlos would actually be so cute though lile tbh i ship them way more than ben and mal. mal and uma you say ? that would work accept that i love uma x harry, but wait harry had that one kiss with gil. but what about gil x jay?

all of that and audrey still does not have a single good love interest

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: The Descendants

Sample Size: 6,614 stories

Source: AO3

[carlosfreckles]

Love is not weak or ridiculous. It's actually really amazing. The strength of evil is good as none, when stands before four hearts as one!

[lsleofthelost]

descendants tweets [31/?] miscellaneous

[blorpingtonn]

Watching Descendants 3 rn and I love how Harry flirts with anyone and everyone- He's such a thirsty, horny bisexual, I love him so much 😭

[dizzydizney]

[aksandvks]

Headcanon

The Children of Yzma all have the tendency to come up with overly complicated plans, which don’t have anything to do with their actual goals.

I’m referring to how Yzma wanted to buy Halloween Masks, the day after Halloween and resell them for next Halloween and using the Money to buy herself a brand new plasma TV. (Her actual Plan was to scare Kuzco)

[kingchad]

nobody asked but this is my official descendants sexuality chart. i will not accept criticism on this.

[geniousbh]

Poderia fazer como os meninos te tratariam, tipo, uma vibe papai? Te ajudariam no banho, lavar cabelo, pentear ele, passar creme no teu corpo. Se cozinhariam pra ti, te ajudariam escolher tua roupa, se comprariam coisas pra ti, encontro semanais, sabe? Sendo um amor contigo

ô veyr pensar nisso aqui me destruiu demais 🕊🕊👋🏻👋🏻 me thinks que quem combina muito pra isso é esteban kukuriczka, felipe otaño e blas polidori, eles tem uns deamenors de proteção e parecem super preocupadinhos com o bem estar dos outros (🤕🤧 de verdade queria eles pra mim)

o kuku seria um ótimo papaizinho que usa reafirmação contigo. "por quê você tá chorando, cariño?" enquanto você tá com a ponta do narizinho vermelho já frustrada porque não consegue terminar um trabalho de faculdade. e ele tem toda a paciência do mundo pra te ouvir soluçando e tentar encontrar uma solução contigo. pra mim, ele é uma pessoa que lê muito, sabe de muitas coisas então caso o assunto seja de conhecimento dele, te colocaria no colinho e digitaria o melhor desenvolvimento ever pra sua dissertação valendo pontos - a única coisa que ele precisa em troca é ficar recebendo seus beijinhos no pescoço e ouvindo suas fungadinhas manhosas. vai te reafirmar na hora da foda tb, te olhando de cima e vendo vc engasgar nele pela terceira vez com pré gozo e baba escorrendo pelo seu queixo e vão entre os seios, os olhos lacrimejando e a expressão de dar dó "qué pasa, hm? tá nervosa? o papai espera... respira", segurando seu rostinho antes de afagar seus fios - mas não pensem que ele desiste de ver você engolindo o pau grandinho dele pq isso sim n é discutível💖💫

já o pipe cuida de você como se fosse responsabilidade dele. vocês chegam de uma festinha na qual você acabou bebendo duas caipirinhas e isso te derrubou e ele acha cômico e uma gracinha que a garotinha dele seja tão fraca pro álcool. te dá um banho muito gostosinho, te segurando pela cintura, conversando com a voz baixa pra te manter acordadinha e se você estiver manhosa o suficiente, vai dedar sua bucetinha molhada enquanto lava ela só pra te ter toda squirmming e arranhando os ombros dele. é literalmente obcecado com worship e acha tudo que você faz incrível. sempre te elogia e dá um beijinho no topo da sua cabeça "ficou lindo, bebita... faz uma pra mim?", depois que vc mostra a pulseirinha de contas que montou. na hora da foda ele deixa o sike kink falar por ele, gosta muito de sentar na cama apoiado na cabeceira e te deixar montar nele - você cavalga muito lentinho e apertando ele o tempo inteiro, fazendo essa carinha 😖 - "não consigo, papi...", "dale, nena, tenta mais um pouquinho" todo entretido com a vista.

e o blas te tem como bonequinha pessoal dele. vai provavelmente te mandar no whats dia sim dia não foto de alguma roupa ou acessório ou pelúcia perguntando "você gosta, vidinha?", e mesmo que vc diga pra ele não gastar contigo assim que vcs se vêem ele tá lá com a sacola cheia de coisas pra te presentear🙋🏻‍♂️🛍 te mima, te empresta as blusas dele, se n tiver cadeira suficiente no rolê seu lugar é no colo, ajeita seu cabelo e sempre sempre sempre que vc fica bicudinha de ciúmes ou qualquer chateação ele te cobre de beijinhos "ayy.. o que eu faço com essa bebêzinha aqui?" - ele adora por deus😔💔😩 - na hora de te comer é literalmente o consentment king pergunta "tá gostosinho?", e fica muito 🤯peepee exploded se vc tá manhosa "mais rápido, é? mas vai te machucar..." provocando enquanto mordisca seu lóbulo porque sabe que apesar do seu tamanhico e do seu jeito você gosta de ouvir as bolas dele estalando bem alto e forte na sua bunda. "eu faço, mas você vai ter que aguentar" sopra maquiavélico antes de te botar de quatro.