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Dan Dailey (as Tim Collier), Jane Asher (as Yvonne) and Simone Lovell (as Marcia Richmond) in the TV series "The Four Just Men", episode 1x20 "The Man in the Road", originally aired on February 11, 1960.
Mark Richmondd (played by Patrick Barr) is set to become the American Ambassador to an African nation, but his future is in jeopardy when his wife Marcia hits and kills a cyclist when she is travelling from the French Alps to Paris. Tim Collier is on hand to offer his assistance and suspects an attempt to discredit Marcia's husband after she is contacted by blackmailers.
Jane, who plays Yvonne, is Pierre's grieving granddaughter.
#Jane Asher#dan dailey#Simone Lovell#The Four Just Men#The Man in the Road#1960#1960 Jane#Jane acting#Jane actress#Jane acting career#1960s#1960s Jane#otd#actress#muse#model#cook#boutique owner#enterpreneur#activist
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According to IMDB this was aired on October 23, 1962.
1962 - Jane’s ITV School’s production of Romeo And Juliet.
Found via https://twitter.com/outonbluesix
#Jane Asher#David Weston#1962#romeo & juliet#1962 romeo & juliet#1962 jane#jane acting career#jane article#ITV#sally cline#article#actress#model#muse#cook#author#boutique owner#enterpreneur#ITV Schools Broadcast#william shakespeare#romeo and juliet#shakespeare
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In my interpretation of Jane's lore, Loretta Lawrence is in fact her mother despite her infamous statement otherwise. Her base story kind of leaves it up to interpretation with the final line of her father and mother both attending her funeral ( whether that be Loretta or an unnamed woman ) , so my personal take is that Loretta held a lot of resentment for the stain on her image that Jane's open discussion of her absence left, and intended on denying it publicly as a way to save face and also squash Jane's credibility - turning the narrative of her from an absent and career-obsessed mother to an innocent victim of lying by an obsessed stranger trying to use her name for clout. While it worked for a few moments, the almost immediate missing status and assumed death of Jane led to Loretta's image being ruined even more. Especially when in the ongoing investigation, it became public knowledge that she was in fact Jane's mother from birth records and the statement of her father. cw discussion of suicide ( not actually happening )
Post-being taken, Jane's story is somewhat of a mystery, the kind of thing discussed by true crime creators talking about the "strangest unsolved cases" and such. From the public's perspective, she was humiliated on live television by someone she'd consistently claimed was her mother denouncing that fact, and that night she disappeared. Her car ( but not her body ) was found some time later, at the bottom of a lake.
The obvious conclusion was that either it was an accident or she'd taken her own life, but the lack of a body sent conspiracy theorists into a frenzy. Did Loretta have something to do with it? Was it an inside job? Was it murder, not an accident or suicide? What happened to Jane Romero? While it was mostly contained to niche communities of people who liked to discuss this, Jane's status as a household name allowed it to spread further, damaging Loretta's reputation more than she could have imagined.
#ooc.#musing.#loretta in my personal interpretation is.... not a good person#not in the sense that she left jane with her father to focus on her career#but in the sense that when said daughter grew up following in her footsteps and being very honest about the effect that loretta's choice ha#she was unable to take responsibility because it would compromise her hollywood star image and instead sought to humiliate her daughter#ON HER OWN SHOW#like there is no reason she couldn't have resolved it privately the first time it was brought up#this was an attempt at revenge for jane's perceived slander of her.#without turning this named character into basically an oc i have a lot of Thoughts on her#she's not completely evil or anything!!! i think many events happened in her life to make her believe acting this way was the best course -#- of action BUT she's also petty. vindictive. and more concerned with her own reputation than the harm she has caused
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Absolutely fuck the teen wolf movie but i just saw a clip of the promo interviews rounds and tyler says he still talks to dylan a lot and they were texting almost daily when the filming started bc dylan wanted to know how it was going AND MY LITTLE HEART IS SO HAPPY???? Ik when Tyler was going thro an addiction they stopped talking and it wasn’t a bad thing. Dylan maybe couldn’t handle it or Tyler push him out or who knows. There wasn’t bad blood i just remember tyler saying they didn’t talk as much really but love was still there. But im so glad they seem to have reconnected and are friends again. I love their friendship so fucking much😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
#my phone id isnt called sciles for nothing#I ADORE their dynamic#they have such good chemistry friends wise like#i need them to act in something else together i beg#tyler has such a range idc what haters say#his career doop a dip after teen wolf but my god i wanna see him in more shit#hes so babygirl#like him on jane the virgin as a bi icon??#GIVE THIS MAN THE LEAD OF A ROMCOM RIGHT NOWWWWWE#it could even be a queer romcom netflix pls#tyler posey#teen wolf#sciles#dylan o’brien
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Literally nobody is doing it like Laura Jane Grace. She looks like she’s having so much fun playing live, smiling and laughing and enjoying herself. She plays acoustic sets that cover songs from multiple bands over her nearly three decades long career. She named her memoir Tranny. She wrote a song called Dysphoria Hoodie. The music video for I Was a Teenage Anarchist is about the police brutality she endured as a 14 year old that radicalized her. When she learned about gender affirmation surgery as a teen, she offered her soul to Satan to wake up in the body she wanted. Against me!’s live album is called 23 live sex acts and features a severed penis on the cover. She’s unbeatable.
#I’ve been a fan since around the time new wave came out (2008 or 2009-ish)#believe me when I say she is 100x happier and smiling and laughing more since she came out in rolling stone#I’m so goddamn happy for her#Laura Jane Grace
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March 1965 issue
scanned from 16 Magazine (1965)
#Jane Asher#Jane articles#1965 jane#16 magazine#march 1965 16 magazine#16 magazine march 1965#jane acting career#jane actress#actress#model#muse#author#cook#enterpreneur#boutique owner
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A central element of the myth of [Eleanor of Aquitaine] is that of her exceptionalism. Historians and Eleanor biographers have tended to take literally Richard of Devizes’s conventional panegyric of her as ‘an incomparable woman’ [and] a woman out of her time. […] Amazement at Eleanor’s power and independence is born from a presentism that assumes generally that the Middle Ages were a backward age, and specifically that medieval women were all downtrodden and marginalized. Eleanor’s career can, from such a perspective, only be explained by assuming that she was an exception who rose by sheer force of personality above the restrictions placed upon twelfth-century women.
-Michael R. Evans, Inventing Eleanor: The Medieval and Post-Medieval Image of Eleanor of Aquitaine
"...The idea of Eleanor’s exceptionalism rests on an assumption that women of her age were powerless. On the contrary, in Western Europe before the twelfth century there were ‘no really effective barriers to the capacity of women to exercise power; they appear as military leaders, judges, castellans, controllers of property’. […] In an important article published in 1992, Jane Martindale sought to locate Eleanor in context, stripping away much of the conjecture that had grown up around her, and returning to primary sources, including her charters. Martindale also demonstrated how Eleanor was not out of the ordinary for a twelfth-century queen either in the extent of her power or in the criticisms levelled against her.
If we look at Eleanor’s predecessors as Anglo-Norman queens of England, we find many examples of women wielding political power. Matilda of Flanders (wife of William the Conqueror) acted as regent in Normandy during his frequent absences in England following the Conquest, and [the first wife of Henry I, Matilda of Scotland, played some role in governing England during her husband's absences], while during the civil war of Stephen’s reign Matilda of Boulogne led the fight for a time on behalf of her royal husband, who had been captured by the forces of the empress. And if we wish to seek a rebel woman, we need look no further than Juliana, illegitimate daughter of Henry I, who attempted to assassinate him with a crossbow, or Adèle of Champagne, the third wife of Louis VII, who ‘[a]t the moment when Henry II held Eleanor of Aquitaine in jail for her revolt … led a revolt with her brothers against her son, Philip II'.
Eleanor is, therefore, less the exception than the rule – albeit an extreme example of that rule. This can be illustrated by comparing her with a twelfth century woman who has attracted less literary and historical attention. Adela of Blois died in 1137, the year of Eleanor’s marriage to Louis VII. […] The chronicle and charter evidence reveals Adela to have ‘legitimately exercised the powers of comital lordship’ in the domains of Blois-Champagne, both in consort with her husband and alone during his absence on crusade and after his death. […] There was, however, nothing atypical about the nature of Adela’s power. In the words of her biographer Kimberley LoPrete, ‘while the extent of Adela’s powers and the political impact of her actions were exceptional for a woman of her day (and indeed for most men), the sources of her powers and the activities she engaged in were not fundamentally different from those of other women of lordly rank’. These words could equally apply to Eleanor; the extent of her power, as heiress to the richest lordship in France, wife of two kings and mother of two or three more, was remarkable, but the nature of her power was not exceptional. Other noble or royal women governed, arranged marriages and alliances, and were patrons of the church. Eleanor represents one end of a continuum, not an isolated outlier."
#It had to be said!#eleanor of aquitaine#historicwomendaily#angevins#my post#12th century#gender tag#adela of blois#I think Eleanor's prominent role as dowager queen during her sons' reigns may have contributed to her image of exceptionalism#Especially since she ended up overshadowing both her sons' wives (Berengaria of Navarre and Isabella of Angouleme)#But once again if we examine Eleanor in the context of her predecessors and contemporaries there was nothing exceptional about her role#Anglo-Saxon consorts before the Norman Conquest (Eadgifu; Aelfthryth; Emma of Normandy) were very prominent during their sons' reigns#Post-Norman queens were initially never kings' mothers because of the circumstances (Matilda of Flanders; Edith-Matilda; and#Matilda of Boulogne all predeceased their husbands; Adeliza of Louvain never had any royal children)#But Eleanor's mother-in-law Empress Matilda was very powerful and acted as regent of Normandy during Henry I's reign#Which was a particularly important precedent because Matilda's son - like Eleanor's sons after him - was an *adult* when he became King.#and in France Louis VII's mother Adelaide of Maurienne was certainly very powerful and prominent during Eleanor's own queenship#Eleanor's daughter Joan's mother-in-law Margaret of Navarre had also been a very powerful regent of Sicily#(etc etc)#So yeah - in itself I don't think Eleanor's central role during her own sons' reigns is particularly surprising or 'exceptional'#Its impact may have been but her role in itself was more or less the norm
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If everyone is a villain in someone's story, today we learned that Jo is the villain in Jane's, and in such a real and subtle way that happens in so many workplaces. Jo may not have been acting with malicious intent, but he did a classic bad boss thing: discouraging Jane from pursuing his dream so he could keep him in a job Jo wanted to rely on him for. Had he given Jane real feedback years ago and mentored him properly, Jane could be a director today. But Jo thought he was an ideal assistant director, so he held him back.
It was painful to see Nine, an asshole who relies on other people's labor and steals ideas, succeeding while Jane is feeling like he's stuck, and that began with Jo's decision to promote Nine and discourage Jane. It was interesting to see Jane's perspective on him after we've spent most of the show seeing him as the kooky uncle. In reality, Jo is everyone's boss and of course he is not perfect.
I also liked the way the show connected Jane's arc in this episode to his slow moving romance with Ryan. It feels like Jane finally gave in to his feelings because he has decided he's done with this job; he doesn't need to worry what will happen because he's not staying. That moment on the roof felt like him making a decision, and not just about dating Ryan. And even with that said, he still has awareness and sense about how it looks to be dating an intern, and asked Ryan to keep it professional at the office for now (not that Ryan listened).
We're going into the final episode with an interesting conflict for Jane to clear up. Nine needs his ass handed to him, and Jane needs to leave the company to pursue the job he actually wants. Ryan also needs to make some decisions about what he wants to do, and it seems like he truly does enjoy being a cog in the production machine. He doesn't share Jane's ambition, so I think he could be content in a job like this, whether it's at this company or not. Given that they're together now, I am looking forward to seeing them support each other through these career decisions.
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[30] I, CARRION (ICARIAN)
warnings: heavy themes (depression, suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, family conflict, intense feelings of isolation) and public scrutiny.
DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE TRIGGERING FOR YOU.
jennie had always been afraid of falling. nothing good came from such an act. falling in love, falling out with friends, falling from fame. it was an act that symbolized the moment one became weak, vulnerable, and at the mercy of the world around them. and jennie kim had always prided herself on being anything but weak.
she had built her life, her career, and her reputation by standing firm. she had learned how to hold herself together when everyone else was falling apart. she knew how to stay on top—how to be untouchable. her world was one of carefully managed control, where every detail was scrutinized, planned, and executed to perfection. but the truth was, beneath that polished exterior, jennie was terrified of the one thing she couldn’t control: losing the people she loved.
falling, to jennie, wasn’t just a physical act. it was emotional, mental—it was the slow, creeping descent into something deeper and darker than she could manage. she had seen it happen too many times, to too many people. friends who had lost themselves in the chaos of fame. relationships that had crumbled under the weight of expectation. but nothing scared jennie more than the idea of falling away from the one person who mattered most.
ivory.
if the wind turns, if i hit a squall
allow the ground to find its brutal way to me
becoming a mother had changed everything for jennie. it wasn’t a decision she had made lightly. in fact, when she first found out she was pregnant, fear had consumed her like nothing she had ever known. she could handle the demands of being an idol, the grueling schedules, the intense scrutiny, the endless pressure to be perfect. but being a mother? that felt like a fall she wasn’t prepared for.
and yet, when ivory was born, it wasn’t fear that overwhelmed jennie—it was love. a love so intense, so consuming, that it redefined everything she thought she knew about herself. ivory became the center of jennie’s universe, the only person who could truly make her feel both grounded and weightless at the same time.
but with that love came a new kind of fear.
jennie knew the demands of her life—the constant traveling, the public persona, the secrecy—would one day take its toll. ivory wouldn’t always be a child, oblivious to the world outside their small, hidden bubble. eventually, she would ask questions. she would want to know why jennie had kept their life a secret. she would wonder about her father, about the world jennie had shielded her from. and jennie feared that when that day came, ivory wouldn’t understand. she would see jennie not as a protective mother, but as someone who had kept her in the dark, someone who had hidden too much for too long.
i feel lighter than i have in so much time
i've crossed the border line of weightless
the more jennie thinks back, the more she concluded that this burning bridge started when her daughter was just a child. it started when jane would hide from her mother, the small habit becoming a sort of game between the two.
it began with those playful moments of hide-and-seek, when little ivory would giggle, darting away to find the best hiding spots—behind the sofa, beneath the dining room table, or even in the small space behind the curtain, her laughter ringing like chimes in the air. for jennie, it was a cherished game, one that solidified their bond and filled their home with warmth and joy.
“you know i’ll always catch you,” the idol had whispered to her daughter, her voice a playful mix of mock seriousness and warmth as she tried to pull a squirming toddler closer to her. the corners of her lips curled up in a smile, an expression of love that glimmered in her eyes like the soft glow of a sunset. ivory’s innocent laughter was a melody that echoed through the house, drowning out the worries of the outside world, the pressures of fame, and the relentless pace of her career.
in those moments, time felt suspended, and the burdens of life faded into the background. jennie had reveled in their little universe, a sanctuary built on shared secrets and unbreakable trust. they were a team, navigating the unpredictable waters of life together, her daughter’s tiny hand always reaching for hers, trusting that jennie would guide her through every storm.
but as the years slipped by, that innocence began to wane, replaced by the turbulent tides of adolescence. the once-cherished game transformed into a battleground of wills, where jennie found herself no longer seeking out her daughter’s hiding spots, but instead chasing shadows. each giggle that faded into the distance now felt like a reminder of what was lost, a haunting echo of the connection they once shared.
the playful laughter turned into hesitant sighs, and the hide-and-seek evolved into secrets tucked away in the corners of her daughter’s heart. where once she had run to jennie with open arms, she now retreated into her own world, a realm filled with friendships and experiences that jennie could only glimpse from afar.
but jennie knew she had to be an idol first, she always had to be. but her heart ached to simply just be a mother.
one deep breath out from the sky
i've reached a rarer height now that i can confirm
all our weight is just a burden offered to us by the world
ivory was the perfect baby girl. she always had been, even when she cried and kept jieun and jennie up for hours.
those late nights, filled with the sounds of wailing, never diminished the beauty of her daughter. each cry was a reminder of ivory’s fierce spirit, a testament to the life she brought into their home. the way she scrunched her little nose in displeasure or how her tiny fists waved in frustration were moments that painted a picture of pure innocence.
jennie often found herself mesmerized by the sight of ivory’s delicate fingers wrapping around her own, as if they were meant to fit together. even during the toughest nights, when exhaustion clawed at her, jennie would look down at her daughter and see perfection—the way ivory’s lashes fluttered softly as she finally drifted to sleep, or the gentle rise and fall of her tiny chest, filling jennie’s heart with a warmth that made every sleepless night worth it.
yet, amidst the laughter and joy, there lingered an undeniable weight in jennie's heart. she missed so much—missed first steps and the excitement of new words, the way ivory would proudly show her the drawings made in preschool, her fingers smudged with paint. with every missed moment, a piece of jennie’s soul felt like it was slipping away, replaced by guilt and longing.
but every time ivory saw her, she would run with open arms, too innocent to understand the world of obligations and the pressures that pulled her mother away. “mommy!” ivory would cry out, her voice bright as sunlight, wrapping her little arms around jennie’s waist. those moments made jennie’s heart swell, yet the ache of missed opportunities would linger like a shadow.
how could her little girl forgive her for being absent during so many pivotal moments? how could she bear the thought of her daughter feeling alone when all she wanted was her mother close by? would she hate her when she was older?
however, despite it all, jennie would never forget the way ivory had changed her, even if she couldn't see it yet for herself. because it wasn’t just her experience and the industry that shaped her.
it was also ivory.
and though i burn how could i fall?
when i am lifted by every word you say to me
jennie remembered the day her daughter saved her life.
it was the darkest time of her life, the media tearing every piece of her limb from limb. she had done her best, she had tried to kill them with kindness, but her mind had suffered far too much. each headline was a knife, each article a reminder of her failures, her struggles, the weight of expectations pressing down on her.
it was late one evening, and the rain had poured down in sheets, mirroring the turmoil in her heart. she had found herself standing on the edge of the balcony, feeling the weight of the world resting on her shoulders. the city sprawled beneath her, a maze of lights that felt as distant as her hopes. the thought of jumping had crossed her mind—a moment of reckless abandon that almost felt liberating.
she hated falling, but maybe this time it would be freeing.
droplets of water soaked through her clothes, clinging to her shivering body. whether she shook from fear, the cold, or from crying, she couldn't tell. all she knew was that she was exhausted. she was tired of feeling like this. it would be so easy, so quick to just end it all. her members would be fine, the company wouldn’t suffer much of a loss. her mother would grieve and move on, and her daughter would be taken care of regardless. jennie was a bad idol, a bad person, and a bad mother. there was nothing left for her to try and be good at anymore. a lull of thunder groaned in the distance, the rain not letting up one bit. jennie’s clothes still hung off her form like wet rags, her body just as numb as her mind. with a deep breath, she made her decision. she took one step forward, than another, and then she was at the edge of the railing. her hands gripped the wet metal bar, feeling how easy her grip slipped. they could make it look like an accident. it would be a bit easier to digest for people that way.
but just as jennie prepared to let go of her anguish, a bright, cheerful voice broke through the raging storm outside and inside her mind.
“found you!”
startled, jennie turned slowly, her heart racing as she caught sight of a small figure emerging from the curtains of the doorway leading to the balcony. ivory, only five years old, stood there, beginning to become wet from the rain, her cheeks flushed with excitement. she was soaking wet but beaming, her eyes the same as her mother’s beaming with innocence.
“ivory,” jennie’s voice trembled as she stepped away from the edge, her heart pounding not just from fear but perhaps relief as well. “what are you doing out here?” she whispered, trying to comprehend how her daughter had found her. jieun had been sending the small girl home from school with a personal driver.
but this was jennie’s house, not her mother’s. that could only mean ivory had asked the driver to take her home to her, not to jieun.
jennie’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at ivory, the little girl’s presence pulling her back from the precipice of despair. the warmth radiating from her daughter felt like a lifeline, grounding her in the chaotic storm of her emotions.
“i found you!” the girl repeated with glee, the innocence in her tone cutting through the weight of jennie’s sorrow. in that moment, the world outside faded, and all she could see was her daughter—the embodiment of everything she loved, everything worth fighting for.
but as the reality of the situation settled in, so did the crushing weight of jennie’s anguish. tears brimmed in her eyes, spilling over as she dropped to her knees, unable to hold back the flood any longer. the sheer relief of seeing ivory, of having her here and safe, overwhelmed her senses.
“valentine,” jennie choked out, her voice trembling as she fell to her knees and pulled her daughter into a fierce embrace. she clutched the small girl tightly, burying her face in the soft fabric of her daughter’s damp clothes, feeling the warmth of her small body against her own. “oh, my sweet girl,” she sobbed, the tears flowing freely now, each one a testament to the fear she had felt just moments before.
jane wrapped her tiny arms around jennie’s neck, the innocence in her embrace radiating a comfort that began to mend the pieces of jennie’s shattered heart. “i thought you were hiding from me!” ivory exclaimed, her voice still light, filled with the joy of the game.
“i’m here, sweetheart,” the idol admitted, her heart aching as she held her daughter closer. the weight of the world seemed to lift just a little, but the fear remained, echoing in the back of her mind. “i didn’t mean to worry you.”
ivory tilted her head, her brows furrowing with confusion. “why are you crying, mommy?” the young girl asked, her dark pigtails soaking with water and her face covered in droplets that reflected light like diamonds.
jennie felt a rush of conflicting emotions. her heart swelled with love, yet the fear of losing her daughter loomed like a dark cloud. “i’m just scared,” she whispered in reply, doing her best to try and not cry even more in front of her daughter.
but all the little girl did was smile up at her mother, the rain not causing her emotions to falter. “but i'm here, you don't have to be scared.” she pulled the idol in closer, and jennie never cried harder in her life.
if anything could fall at all, it's the world
that falls away from me
it had been two weeks since the incident happened and jennie had been fighting tooth and nail with her lawyers to sue those who dragged her daughter in the headlines. she didn’t care what they said about her. the idol didn’t care what they called her, or what they thought of her. all that mattered was ivory—all that had ever mattered was ivory.
the thought of her daughter’s name being dragged through the mud ignited a fire within jennie, one that eclipsed her own anguish. she was ready to battle, ready to shield her child from the cruel world outside, a world that had become increasingly invasive and toxic. the whispers of judgment and disdain only fueled her determination.
no amount of scrutiny or scandal could diminish her devotion as a mother.
at night, she would lie awake, her mind racing with the words she would throw at the media, the statements her lawyers would issue. she replayed the interviews, the snippets of hurtful commentary, the careless remarks that had turned ivory into fodder for sensational headlines. it made her sick to think that people could be so cruel, so callous about a child who hadn’t done anything to deserve it.
during the days, she stayed busy, ensuring that every detail was managed, every angle covered. meetings, phone calls, legal documents—they all became her lifeline, a distraction from the gnawing worry that threatened to consume her. she felt like a warrior, fighting against an army of nameless faces and faceless voices, all bent on destroying the one thing that mattered most to her.
but in the quiet moments, when the chaos of the day settled, the weight of it all would come crashing down. in those stillness-filled nights, she couldn’t help but wonder how ivory was coping with the backlash. was she scared? confused? had she eaten?
“we need a statement from you,” her manager hesitantly brought up during their next meeting. “you haven’t confirmed your relationship to her yet. i think it is best if you say something officially.”
jennie felt a surge of frustration rise within her, an emotion too powerful to suppress. she stood in the dimly lit conference room, the soft hum of fluorescent lights casting a harsh glare on the glossy table that reflected her tense expression. dressed in a tailored black blazer that hugged her form and paired with fitted trousers, she exuded an air of professionalism, yet the sharp edges of her attire did little to mask the storm brewing within her.
“no.” the word sliced through the air, sharper than she intended, but she didn’t care. “this isn’t about me. it’s about ivory. i won’t put her in front of cameras until she’s ready. if she wants to make a statement, that’s her call.”
her manager frowned, shifting uneasily in his chair, the weight of their conversation heavy between them. he adjusted his tie, a nervous habit she’d come to recognize. “but the media won’t wait. the speculation is damaging. we need to control the narrative.”
“control?” she scoffed, the anger simmering just beneath the surface. the room felt constricting, the walls closing in as she thought about the tabloids ripping apart her daughter's innocence. “what control do we really have? we’re dealing with people who don’t care about the truth—only the drama. i won’t pressure her into speaking before she’s ready.”
she took a deep breath, her gaze drifting to the floor-to-ceiling windows, where rain streaked down like tears on glass. the dreary weather outside matched her mood, but she steeled herself, focusing on the task at hand. “i want to protect her innocence. if the girl chooses to speak, i’ll support her. but this decision has to come from her—not us. i won’t let them twist her words.”
silence enveloped the room, heavy with tension, as her manager hesitated, contemplating the implications of her words. “but jennie—”
“no,” she interrupted, her voice firm and unwavering, echoing off the stark walls. “i won’t make a statement without her consent. she’s been through enough. i want her to know she controls her narrative.”
her manager sighed, recognizing the resolve in her eyes—the fierce determination that set her apart from the fleeting glances of the world outside. “alright, but we need to prepare for the backlash.”
“let them come,” the idol replied without missing a beat, her voice steadying as a flicker of maternal instinct surged within her. “i’ll take whatever hits they throw. as long as none of them hit ivory.”
you have me floatin' like a feather on the sea
while you're as heavy as the world that you hold your hands beneath
jane had always been jennie’s strength. in her highest highs and her lowest lows, her daughter was always her anchor. each milestone in her career, every award and fashion show, was often celebrated with ivory in mind. every time jennie was whisked away for a new brand ambassadorship or invited to walk the runway, she meticulously picked out souvenirs that reminded her of the little girl waiting at home.
the delicate silk scarves from paris, the glittering hairpins from milan, the brightly colored baubles from tokyo—each item was a token of love, meant to fill the void of her absence. but soon, jennie started to notice a disheartening change. the excitement in ivory’s eyes dulled with each new gift, her small hands less eager to unwrap the carefully packaged tokens.
when the idol had moved into her own house, the distance between them became painfully clear. the new home was supposed to be a fresh start, a sanctuary filled with light and dreams. yet, as she unpacked boxes in the empty living room, reality settled heavily on her chest—ivory wasn’t going to be coming with her. her daughter would remain with jieun, it was safer that way. but even she knew it wasn’t just about safety, she had used that excuse too many times to believe it.
the day she officially moved out was the day everything changed.
as she stood in her new kitchen, surrounded by gleaming appliances and fresh paint, the echo of ivory’s sharp voice felt like a distant memory. that morning, jennie had sat down and explained to her daughter what was going to happen. jane was only 8 at the time, and she was already becoming extremely aware of the absence of her mother.
it was also when the small girl began to stop calling her “mom.”
“why don’t you want to be with me?” jane had asked bluntly, small hands balled into fists as she watched her mother taping another box shut. the innocence in her eyes pierced through jennie’s heart like a dagger. it was a simple question, but the weight of it felt insurmountable.
“i do want to be with you, sweetheart,” the idol replied, forcing a smile that felt strained and hollow. “but this is what’s best for both of us right now. you’ll be safe with grandma, and i’ll be here working hard so i can give you all the nice things you deserve.”
“but i don’t want things,” the small brunette insisted, her voice rising with frustration. “i want you.”
the sharpness of the truth stung like cold water, and in that moment, jennie felt the walls she had built around herself begin to crack. she wanted to scream that she wished she could be with her every moment, but the words died on her lips. instead, she knelt down to her daughter’s level, trying to steady her trembling hands as she brushed a few loose strands of hair away from her forehead.
“i know it’s hard, but i promise, we’ll make this work. i’ll visit you all the time, and we can have fun together. we can make new memories.” the rehearsed phrases felt empty in the air between them, but she hoped they would comfort the little girl.
but even jennie knew her daughter had heard those empty promises too many times.
ivory’s eyes, devoid of any real emotion, searched her mother’s face for reassurance, but instead, they found uncertainty. the moment hung heavy, and as ivory blinked back her tears, jennie realized just how fragile their bond had become.
“i don’t believe you,” ivory finally whispered, her voice small but fierce. but as jennie watched her turn away, something deep within her cracked open, and the reality of her choices loomed larger than ever.
and she finally realized that her daughter was slowly slipping away from her.
once i had wondered what was holdin' up the ground
but i can see that all along, love, it was you all the way down
each of the pinks had taken turns coming over, but tonight, it was just rosé sitting across from jennie. the glow of the candles flickered softly on the coffee table, casting dancing shadows against the walls of the stylish parisian apartment. the faint scent of vanilla wafted through the air, mingling with the sounds of the bustling city outside, a stark reminder of the world that felt both close and distant.
“what’s she like?” rosie asked gently, her tone laced with genuine curiosity as she observed jennie’s hunched figure on the plush couch, wrapped in an oversized hoodie that swallowed her whole. it was a cozy look, a comforting barrier against the chill of the night.
jennie’s gaze drifted to the candles, the flames reflecting the turmoil in her heart. there were so many words to describe her, and yet none of them were fitting enough. ivory was and always would be indescribable. “she’s everything.” the older girl whispered, trying to piece together her words. “she’s like poetry i’ll never fully understand. sometimes she’s the softest verse, the kind that makes you feel warm without realizing it, and other times she’s like the sharpest line, the one that cuts right through you.”
ivory had always been a melody jennie couldn’t stop humming. even when the world was too loud, when the pressures of fame felt like they were closing in, it was her daughter who reminded her what really mattered. how ironic was it? that the person who was her entire world was also the one holding it up. jennie had always known that getting to the top came at the expense of being there for ivory. she had built her empire on sacrifices, and the largest one was her absence from the moments that should have mattered most. each red carpet, each endorsement, each sold-out arena—they were the milestones of her career, but they were also the milestones of ivory’s quiet solitude.
it was upon her daughter’s small, unsteady shoulders that jennie’s world sat. the weight of it all pressed down on the girl, and jennie had given her the world and left ivory alone to hold it up.
leave it now, i am sky-bound
if you need to, darling, lean your weight to me
jennie didn’t know how many times she had called her daughter over the past weeks. ivory was eighteen now, legally an adult, but she would always be jennie’s little girl, no matter how much time passed. and that made it worse—because jennie knew her daughter was still too young to bear the weight of everything being thrown at her.
every unanswered call felt like another crack in the fragile bond between them. she had seen her daughter grow into this fiercely independent young woman, strong and capable, but jennie couldn’t shake the sense that she was crumbling beneath the pressure. the media, relentless as always, had turned their full attention to ivory. speculation, rumors, accusations—all aimed at her daughter, dissecting her life in the cruelest of ways.
jennie had faced that kind of scrutiny before; it came with the territory of being a global icon. but this was different. this was ivory, and jennie had no control over it. no way to protect her. all she could do was wait, hoping—praying—that her daughter would reach out.
the silence was suffocating. she had sent dozens of messages, her fingers flying across the screen in moments of desperation. ivory didn’t respond. not to her, not to jieun. her daughter was mia—not physically, they knew she was safe somewhere—but emotionally, she was unreachable. the longer the silence stretched on, the more jennie’s worry turned to fear.
what was she thinking? how was she handling the constant barrage of headlines, the ruthless commentary from strangers who had no idea what her life was really like? was she struggling alone, feeling abandoned? the thought of her daughter enduring all of this on her own made jennie feel physically sick. she had built her career on being strong, untouchable, but nothing could prepare her for the helplessness she felt now.
late at night, the older woman would find herself staring at her phone, willing it to light up with a message from ivory. she couldn’t sleep, her mind running through all the worst-case scenarios. what if ivory didn’t want to speak to her anymore? what if this silence was her way of pushing jennie out for good? it was a thought that haunted her, even though she didn’t want to believe it.
jennie had always been the one in control—the one with the answers, the one who made decisions. but now, she was at the mercy of her daughter’s silence. all she could do was wait, and it was tearing her apart.
we'll float away, but if we fall
i only pray, don't fall away from me
“have you talked to her?” the idol whispered aimlessly, leaning against the sofa cushion with her head propped on her elbow. jieun glanced over her shoulder, staring at her daughter. the older woman’s gaze softened as she took in jennie’s tired form, slouched on the sofa, her face half-hidden in the dim light. jennie looked like a shadow of herself—hollow-eyed, her usual resilience cracked and exposed, like glass splintered under the weight of her worry. she wasn’t the jennie kim that everyone knew—the one who faced cameras with a certain glint in her eye, who made the world bend to her will.
no, this was someone far different—this was a mother, unraveling at the seams of her sanity.
jieun sighed softly, crossing the room with measured steps, each footfall silent against the plush carpet. she’d watched jennie navigate the peaks and valleys of fame, but never had she seen her like this. this wasn’t the guarded idol, the woman who could withstand scrutiny and judgment with a steely front. jennie was exposed, raw, with her vulnerability wrapped around her like a second skin.
“she’s safe,” jieun said gently, kneeling down beside the sofa, her voice as calm as she could manage. “you know she’s safe.”
jennie’s lips tightened as she looked away, her eyes lingering on her phone as if expecting it to vibrate at any second. she lost count of how many times she had kept checking her phone throughout the days. it was not completely out of her daughter’s character to be radio silent, but this type of silence felt far more dangerous. it was the kind of quiet that echoed loudly in her maternal mind, amplifying every worry and fear she tried to suppress.
“but she’s alone,” she murmured, voice thin and cracked. “again.” her biggest regret as a mother was being absent for so long in her daughter’s life. it was a regret that gnawed at her like a relentless hunger, an ache that twisted and turned, reminding her of every moment lost.
the idol knew her mother would only understand somewhat, given she did help raise the girl in her absence. but jennie was her mother. ivory was hers. what if this silence meant something more? what if it signified that jane was falling away from her, slipping through her fingers like sand?
the rain pounded against the window, a steady rhythm that mirrored jennie’s racing heartbeat. outside, the world was drenched, streets shimmering with reflections of streetlights and the distant glow of the city. it was beautiful but also haunting, reminding her of every moment she had taken for granted—every hug, every laugh, every late-night conversation that now felt like a lifetime ago.
jennie’s voice was barely a whisper, more to herself than to her mother.
“i just wish she would come home.”
i do not have wings, love, i never will
soarin' over a world you are carryin'
jennie remembered the last time her daughter called her “mom.”
she was in la for a quick trip with her members, the sun dipping low in the sky and painting the horizon in hues of orange and pink. laughter echoed around her as they wandered through the bustling streets of venice beach, the salty air mingling with the scent of fried food from nearby stands. she and her members were meant to be celebrating, living in the moment, but all jennie could think about was how far she was from her daughter.
as they strolled along the boardwalk, her phone buzzed in her pocket, pulling her from the moment. she pulled it out, her heart racing at the sight of ivory’s name flashing on the screen. but just as quickly, the excitement turned to dread; she hesitated, caught between the urge to answer and the noise of her friends. the laughter, the music, the clinking of glasses—it all felt so vibrant, so alive, and yet, it felt hollow without her daughter accompanying it.
finally, she silenced the phone, promising herself she would call her back in a minute. yet, in that minute, the moment turned into hours. the sun sank beneath the horizon, and by the time jennie returned to her hotel room, the buzzing of her phone had stopped. she pulled it out again, her heart heavy, and saw a voicemail notification blinking at her. she didn’t need to listen to know what it was—a stab of guilt pierced her heart.
after she settled onto the plush hotel bed, she pressed play, her stomach twisting as ivory’s familiar voice filled the room.
“hi,” ivory’s tone was soft, almost shy, like she was uncertain of how to navigate this unspoken chasm that had grown between them. “i don’t really know why i’m calling.” jennie felt a lump in her throat as she listened. this wasn’t the vibrant teenager she usually heard, full of life and excitement; this was a girl grappling with the shadows of her mother’s absence. there was a pause, the silence on the line heavy and stretching on as if ivory was wrestling with words that refused to come.
ivory spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper, as if she feared saying it too loudly might shatter whatever fragile hope she held.
“i miss you,” she murmured. “i mean, i know you’re busy. and i know it’s important… but i just” her words trailed off, dissolving into silence once more. there was a rawness in her voice, a longing that felt like it had been buried for too long, like it had clawed its way up from deep inside her, desperate to be heard. “i did something today. um…”
another beat of silence passed by before the younger girl let out a muffled chuckle, and the unmistakable sound of a sniffle.
“i don’t know what i’m saying.” jane added, her vulnerability in her voice hitting jennie like a punch to the gut. “i’m sorry for bothering you. have fun, mom.” the voicemail ended with a soft click, leaving jennie sitting in stunned silence, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on her.
later on, she would find out from jieun that was the day her daughter had gotten into hybe. and once again, jennie was halfway across the world for it.
jennie remembered the way she went to the bathroom and sobbed on the edge of the tub, fighting the urge to throw up. everything she had worked for, everything she’d sacrificed—it all felt so hollow in that moment, sitting on the cold tile floor of some high rise hotel in the city of angels.
what kind of mother was she?
the thought echoed in her mind, relentless and unyielding. jennie gripped the edge of the tub as if it could anchor her, her fingers shades of her daughter’s name with the effort to keep herself steady. she had spent years building an image, carving a path to success and fame, but now, all of it felt like dust slipping through her fingers. she was idolized by millions, praised for her talent, but in the one role that mattered most, she felt like a stranger.
her daughter had achieved something extraordinary, something she would have been so proud of—and jennie hadn’t even been there to pick up the phone, let alone celebrate. she could only imagine ivory standing alone, phone pressed to her ear, hoping to hear her mother’s voice, only to be met with silence.
she’d missed it. she’d missed everything.
jennie’s vision blurred with fresh tears, and she buried her face in her hands, biting back a sob. she could picture every missed moment, every time she’d told ivory she’d make it up to her, every night she’d kissed her through a screen, promising it was only temporary. but her baby girl had grown up in the gaps jennie had left, filling in the spaces with memories jennie would never share.
if these heights should bring my fall
let me be your own
icarian carrion
part of jennie always knew she wasn’t invincible. she could conquer stages, face the world’s scrutiny, but when it came to protecting jane, she felt utterly powerless. it was a thought that twisted in her gut, reminding her that no matter how much she wanted to shield her daughter from the storm, she was just one woman against an unforgiving world. still, the fierce love she held for ivory ignited a fire within her.
she would die trying to keep her daughter safe, even if it meant battling the very system that had once elevated her to the highest heights.
the idol leaned back in the plush leather seat of the car, her eyes vacant as she stared out at the blurred lights of the city. the soft hum of the engine was drowned out by the relentless patter of the rain, but it was a comfort compared to the storm brewing in her heart. just as she closed her eyes to escape her thoughts, her phone buzzed insistently in her lap.
she glanced down, the dim light illuminating the screen, and her breath hitched in her throat. the headlines pierced through the fog of her despair.
"IVORY DENIES ANY RELATION TO RUMORED MOTHER, JENNIE."
“LE SSEREAFIM MEMBER IVORY DENIES FAMILY TIES WITH BLACKPINK’S JENNIE.”
“JENNIE KIM—NOT A MOTHER AFTER ALL?”
jennie couldn’t believe the words she was reading. she read the different headlines over and over, trying to understand what was happening right now. her heart sank even further as she read the quote beneath one of them:
“in a recent statement, ivory kim has publicly denied any familial ties to the renowned idol jennie, stating, ‘i am my own person and have nothing to do with her public image or lifestyle.’”
a bitter chill coursed through her veins as the weight of those words settled in. the world was watching, and her daughter was choosing to distance herself from her mother. it felt like an emotional dagger, the kind that twisted and turned, severing the bonds they had fought so hard to forge.
if the wind turns, if i hit a squall
allow the ground to find its brutal way to me
“why would you say that?” she whispered under her breath, her voice trembling. the denial felt like a rejection of everything they had built together, a painful erasure of their connection. she quickly checked her recent call history, tapping on her daughter’s name once again for the nth time. the idol fought the urge to scream when she heard the dial tone go immediately to voicemail. just then, the driver turned onto a familiar street, the sleek glass building of her office looming ahead. the car slowed, and jennie blinked back the tears that threatened to spill, her heart racing with a mix of anxiety and determination. the sleek façade of her workplace, usually a source of pride, now felt like a battleground, a place where she would have to face the raging storm outside.
as the car came to a stop, she could hear the distant shouts and the clicking of cameras, the cacophony of the paparazzi waiting to pounce on her the moment she stepped outside. she felt sick. she wanted to tell the driver to turn around and drive straight to the hybe building. but she couldn’t.
with a heavy sigh, she adjusted her sunglasses, the dark designer lenses serving as a shield against the world. she took a moment to gather her thoughts, feeling the weight of her daughter’s words pressing down on her chest. she quickly wiped the corners of her eyes with the ends of her sleeves before steeling herself for the hell awaiting her.
taking a deep breath, she opened the car door and stepped out into the pouring rain. the cold droplets hit her like a thousand tiny needles, but she welcomed the sensation, using it to mask the tears threatening to escape. she could feel the cameras flashing, the questions being shouted, but all she could think about was ivory.
“jennie! what do you have to say about ivory’s statement?” one reporter shouted, shoving a microphone in her direction.
"did you pay her to say that?” another voice rang out, sharper than the rest, slicing through the crowd's cacophony and echoing in jennie's mind like a jagged wound being reopened. "where is your official statement?" someone else demanded, and the barrage of voices grew relentless, questions stabbing through the heavy rain, flashes sparking like bursts of lightning even through her tinted lenses.
the idol’s fingers curled into fists as she fought back the impulse to scream, to plead with them to understand that this was more than just a story to her. her skin felt raw, scraped by the flashing cameras and the biting cold, as if each shout and accusation stripped another layer from her, laying bare the ache she tried so hard to hide. but she couldn’t break down here—not in front of the world, not with ivory's fragile truth hanging between them, vulnerable to this voracious hunger for scandal.
she swallowed hard, pushing the tears down, forcing herself to lift her chin. each step she took toward the building was heavy, as though she were dragging the weight of her guilt and grief alongside her. it felt like walking through a storm without shelter, the rain mingling with her tears, each ounce of water a reminder of the distance that had grown between her and her daughter—a distance she’d allowed to widen.
ivory’s innocence, her future, was on the line, and jennie would do whatever it took to protect her, even if it meant facing this battle alone. she could bear the cruelty, the invasion, the unyielding scrutiny if it meant her daughter didn’t have to. this was her responsibility. her burden. and if it came to it, jennie would willingly take every accusation, every whispered insult, if it meant jane could live without this shadow hanging over her.
she had no delusions about the battle ahead, but she would face it—she would endure every cost, every scar, if it meant shielding ivory from this storm. even if it destroyed her, jennie would be her daughter’s armor, her shield.
even if it meant her daughter denied her as a mother, the same way jennie had done for years, she would still keep trying. she would always be a mother, no matter what.
and if that meant she had to fight until there was nothing left of her, then so be it. she’d die trying.
if i should fall, on that day
i only pray, don't fall away from me
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TAGLIST ⸺ ✶ @silantryoo @imahallucination11 @jisooftme @yerimbrit @linnnsworld @edeivveiss @urmom2314 @aespasoooool @mygfiswonyoung @yeetaberry127 @@sixflame438 @yourmyst4r @shegoswhoree @saysirhc @hwm1hyun @literallybipanic @yejiscene @gayforalll @yvsvrn @bunnywonyo @karifrogs @thefckghost @yoontoonwhs @pandafuriosa60 @somedaydream @hotluvlet @pagedpick7 @lizseos @cy8erpunkz @keiji-jin @lizseos @xszn @awkwardtoafault @hellokiraa @chicopichu @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite @lesbian4themis @literallybipanic @tjdc25 @st4r4ngel @jihyos-hoe @jxmis @phamianaz
CLOSED.
#jennie kim#blackpink#lesserafim#angst#kpop angst#original series#jisoo kim#roseanne park#lalisa manoban#kim chaewon#ivory#perfectsunlight
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When Everything Changed | Part 5- Finale
18+ ❤️🔥 MDNI ‼️
Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader
Enemies to lovers
Part 4 | Master list
The truth comes out
“When are we going to admit that this isn’t hate?” He murmurs and kisses your head.
You didn’t want to answer him because you knew you never hated him. You may be annoyed by him at times but the truth was, a sick thrill shot through you when you bickered with him. It always had.
“It’s easier to hate you,” you whisper, still lying against him on the floor.
You’re fucked out, you can’t move after what he did to you.
“Why?” His voice is so low you’d miss it if you weren’t on him. You shake your head.
“Getting close to someone in this field is dangerous. Look at us,” you wriggle free and turn to face him. “We were both shot.”
“The average FBI agent is shot once in their entire career, most not at all. The odds of that happening to one of us again are slim,” he reasons. You drop your shoulders.
“Spence,” you sigh.
“I know you don’t hate me. You want to. But you can’t,” he stands and moves over to the couch where he wraps himself in a blanket.
You sigh and get your footing under you, your legs still wobbly and pull on your underwear.
“I thought that was just about getting it out of our systems,” you stand in front of him which forced him to look up at you. He winces and his throat injury though and stops. You sit on the coffee table in front of him.
“Did it work? Am I out of your system?” He stares through you.
The truth was, you didn’t think you’d ever get enough of him after that. You had never been with someone who could work your body so well. You simply shake your head ‘no’.
His eyes level with yours.
“I’m not asking for a relationship. I’m asking you to stop pretending that this-“ he grabs your arm and yanks you towards him until his face is in front of yours. “Isn’t fun. That you haven’t gone home after a heated argument with me and finger fucked yourself.”
“How did you-“
“You’re not as good as you think at managing your micro expressions,” he gives you a sky grin.
He had been alot better at that part than you.
“You’re not as inconspicuous as you might think,” you jerk your arm away from his grip.
“Yeah?” He tilts his head, challenging you.
“"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation, It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."” You quote from his journal, from Jane Austen.
His mouth falls open, he was utterly shocked.
“You read my journal that night,” he stands, angry.
“I just saw the blurb you fell asleep writing,” you respond and cross your arms.
“Writing a quote from a book isn’t proof of anything,” he snaps. “I have an eidetic memory, I do that sometimes.”
“Maybe, but look how pissed you are,” you scoff.
You’re being an asshole and you know it. His cheeks turn red and he moves from the small space where you had been facing him.
“Pissed you made an assumption about my feelings for you, yeah,” he raises his voice. It’s still scratchy.
“What feelings Spencer?” You shout and march over to him. “Why are you so angry if there are no feelings?” Now you’re grabbing his arm and turning him towards you.
You ignore your phone ringing, a text follows it.
He glares at you, his eyes travel over your body where you’re only wearing a tank top and panties. You didn’t back down though, you wanted him to admit what his pride wouldn’t let him.
Both of you were acting like children in the face of your feelings. You were aware of it. He had to be too.
“Let go of me,” he demands.
“No,” you dig your nails into his bicep. “Tell me the truth.”
“The truth?” He huffs a laugh and tries to take his arm back from your grip. You double down and place a hand on his chest, pinning him against a bookshelf. “The truth is, if you don’t let me go, I am going to fuck you until you can’t walk,” he whispers. His words travel through you, straight to your still sore pussy. Your heart pounds in your throat and in your head at his threat.
His phone rings and you drop your hands to let him get it.
“Morgan,” he pauses. “Yeah, good. Okay sounds good.” He hangs up and turns to you. “They got him, everyone’s good. We can start our reports after we sleep.
You glance at the clock, 4am. Damn. Sleep sounds amazing.
“Okay,” is all you say. You’re glad the team is safe but your mind is whirling from Spencer’s words, his actions.
“Why don’t you take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” he sighs.
“No you’ve been in the hospital for weeks. Go sleep in your bed,” you demand, pointing to his room.
“It doesn’t matter what I say, you always have to argue or disagree,” he shakes his head.
“I’m trying to be considerate. God you’re impossible,” you groan.
He appears behind you, his body pressing against yours. You wonder if he can sense your arousal after his threat, after going back and forth with him.
“Go get in my bed,” his words are lethal. They leave no room for arguing.
You step forward out of his reach and hurry into his room. Fine, you’d sleep in his bed. You were trying to be nice, so much for that. You slam his door closed behind you.
You pull back the comforter, his bed perfectly made and slide in between the black silk sheets.
You think you hear him approaching the door after using his en suite bathroom, or maybe you hope you do. But he never enters. You watch the ceiling fan spin slowly in the dark. You had never been so sexually satisfied and the frustrated in such close succession.
You groan and put a pillow over your head. It doesn’t help, it smells like him. Annoying, sexy, frustrating him.
You toss and turn in the dark for what has to be an hour before you give up and stare back at the ceiling. Of course you left your phone in the damn living room.
This was torture, knowing he was out there, being surrounded by his scent in his bed. Maybe you could just make yourself cum once and you’ll be able to sleep. That would be plenty right? Especially after the amount of times he made you orgasm already. You bet you’d sleep blissfully. You kick the covers off and spread your legs wide, the cold air from the fan blowing over your pussy.
You slide your hand over your stomach and down into your panties. You’re surprised to find your clit so swollen with need, sensitive to the touch from overuse but begging for more. Begging for him. God you wanted him again.
Your eyes roll back as you begin to circle your clit, pressing hard and grinding your hips against yourself. You turn your head and moan into the pillow as you remember him between your legs.
“Finally that mouth is good for something,” you remember saying. Fuck it was so hot the way he looked up at you from between your legs.
“Dirty girl,” comes Spencer’s gravely voice from the doorway of his bedroom. You hadn’t heard the door open.
You startle and throw the blankets back over yourself. You were well and truly caught.
You see him saunter towards you in the dark and the bed dips as he crawls over you.
You meet his eyes, his own full of hunger.
“Show me how wet you are,” he whispers in your ear. You moan and bring your fingers up, shoving them in his mouth. He sucks gently, sliding his tongue between your fingers. You imagine the way that motion felt in your pussy.
He pulls the blanket off of you and kneels between your legs. He forces your knees flat to the bed so you’re spread wide for him. You wonder how many women he’s had in this position in this very spot. It’s fucking hot to imagine, Spencer, a womanizer. It was the only explanation for his filthy mouth and skills.
He pushes your panties to the side and pumps his long middle finger into you with ease.
“Let’s make a deal,” he muses and tilts his head as he slowly withdrawals his finger to the tip.
“Hmm,” you can’t talk. He presses it back in torturously slow.
“You’re going to tell me how you really feel about me. Then and only then will I expose my true feelings to you,” he hums as he slides his finger in and out of you. “I know you’re stubborn so I’m more than willing to fuck it out of you if I must.”
He removes his finger completely.
“Because the truth is, I want you to know how I feel,” he murmurs and bends down to kiss your pussy. Your underwear an all too cruel barrier.
Your arch up towards his mouth and he nips you with his teeth. You moan loudly.
He tears you free of your underwear and settles between your legs, looking up at you with pleading eyes.
“Deal Spencer, please,” you beg and push your throbbing pussy towards his mouth. You needed him so bad, needed some kind of friction.
He pushes his tongue into your entrance and drags it all the way up through your folds, soaking his tongue. He lets out a sinful groan, pleased.
His two middle fingers find your entrance and curl upward, causing you to squirm at the blinding pleasure. He pins you down with his other arm across your hips and pumps into you while he sucks and licks at your clit.
“Spencer please it’s too much,” you cry out. You can’t believe how good it feels when he speeds up his tongue and applies more pressure inside of you.
“Tell me or I’ll stop,” he pauses. Leaving you to pant for a moment.
“I-“ you whimper.
He resumes his expert movements, winding you so tight it’s painful. You need to cum, you can’t take much more.
“You’re not listening,” he hums and withdrawals his fingers and mouth just as you’re approaching a euphoric orgasm.
“When we almost lost you, I realized I felt more,” you pant, your eyes blowing wide as you look down at him. His pink lips glisten with your arousal and he grins before sliding those wicked fingers back into you.
“Good girl,” he speaks against you and gives you want you want.
He pulls your clit into his mouth while his fingers pump you violently, curling to reach that spot deep inside of you. He presses you harder into the mattress, applying mind numbing pressure to your uterus. You’d never felt anything like it, how was he… how did he…
“Spencer!” An uncharacteristic scream erupts from your throat as the most intense orgasm you’ve ever experienced crashes through you.
You’re shaking around his fingers as he plants kisses against your pussy and slowly removes them. He plunges them into his mouth and licks them clean until you’re staring at him in awe. He was so fucking beautiful.
“That was easier than I thought it would be,” he crawls on top of you. His hair falls forward as he stares into your eyes. You whimper in defeat.
“I’m scared I’m falling for you. It makes me angry,” you whisper.
To your surprise he leans down and kisses you, his lips impossibly soft and warm.
“I’ve already fallen for you. I’ll catch you. I won’t let you get hurt,” he speaks softly and kisses you again. His admission feels like the most gentle caress and the greatest victory.
His hands push under your body and he brings your arms above your head. He holds you there, kissing you desperately. Your tongue pushes back against his until you’re both breathless and he’s grinding his erection against you.
Neither of you were done with each other despite the admission. You could spend the next 24 hours with him between your legs.
This brilliant, irritating, and irresistible man had somehow broken his way into your heart. You didn’t know it until he was fighting for his life in a hospital bed.
A strange sort of determination settles over you. You wouldn’t chance losing him again without loving him first.
“You’re mine,” it’s not a question, it’s more like he’s declaring it.
“Yours,” you nod and kiss him hungrily again.
#spencer reid#mgg#criminal minds#mgg pics#dr reid#spencer reid one shots#spicy spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid ai#spencer reid fanfiction#Spencer Reid complete fic#spencer reid hands#Spencer Reid hair
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29th October 1966, FABULOUS 208 Magazine, page 19
Playin' Jane
Jane relaxing off-stage with one of her best friends, her kitten Cleo.
Quietly, without any false fuss, Jane Asher, actress, has arrived. After fifteen years of exits and entrances, Jane has become accepted as an actress. Not as just another pretty young girl to grace a TV screen, but as an actress capable of bringing the screen to life . . . doing a job that no one else could do quite so well.
This is Jane Asher's year. We salute her.
THERE is something very touching and vulnerable about Jane Asher that endears her to the armchair playgoers. She's like a daisy planted among roses. Fresh, delicate and unpretentious.
She may be in The Saint, Love Story or in any old kitchen sink drama on TV, but the moment she appears, there is something happening on the screen. She doesn't throw her limbs into theatrical poses or shrill out her lines. There is a quiet strength in her performances that makes them far more memorable than hammy histrionics.
She has been acting since she was five years old, and she has learned her craft the hard way, in fifteen years of repertory, radio and TV roles.
Jane Asher has the look most big girls envy. Small-boned and fragile-looking she appears just as feminine in over-sized sweaters and sloppy jeans as some poor girl who has spent hours dolling herself up.
She has a pale, elfin face, dominated by deep-set blue eyes, rather serious and a little sad. There is a lot happening behind them. Her long hair looks like great flames leaping about her face.
She desperately wants to play Joan Of Arc.
It was her hair which brought Jane, at five, into the acting profession. She was playing in the park one day with her mother, her younger sister Clare, and her big brother Peter. They all had bright red hair. Someone passing by said they ought to be in pictures or something.
The idea appealed to Jane. Soon she was cast as the deaf mute in Mandy. She was Alice. She was Wendy in Peter Pan. And she was Juliet in a children's TV version of Romeo and Juliet.
They were all roles that called for a pretty face, a limited range of expressions, and no particular acting ability. But Jane was attracting the notice of people who had plays to offer her that would really put her talent to the test.
THE supreme test came this year, when Jane played the lead in a new play called Cleo for the Bristol Old Vic Company.
She held the stage for two-and-a-half hours playing a mixed-up teenager with a sensitivity unusual in a girl of twenty.
Jane took a dozen curtain calls on the first night. People pushed into her dressing-room to shake her hand, and tell her how much they had enjoyed seeing a star born.
The star sat on the floor in her shaggy sweater and kneed blue jeans, and calmly drank champagne from a cracked mug.
JANE is uncompromisingly down-to-earth and sensible. She can cut through hours of fancy discussion with one simple scentence of logic. It's her ability to seperate the real from the superficial that makes her a good actress.
She recently appeared in BBC-2's classic Brothers Karamazov. At the moment, she is appearing with Laurence Harvey, Moira Redmond and Diana Churchill in Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale, at the Cambridge Theatre, London.
The play has been selected for study in C.C.E. "A" Level examination next January. Jane hopes that lots of young people will see the play, to prepare themselves.
When this production closes - it's the one she appeared in at the Edinburgh Festival - Jane moves into a Broadway play.
As we said, Jane Asher, actress, has arrived.
JUNE SOUTHWORTH
Source
#Jane Asher#Jane Article#1965 Jane#Fabulous 208#acting career#Cleo#Mill on the Floss#1965#1960s#1960s Jane#Jane actress#Jane acting career#actress#model#muse#cook#boutique owner#author#enterpreneur#article#magazine#Fabulous magazine
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the bondage of freedom
noah sebastian x reader
content warnings: smut, oral (f. receiving), fingering, sacrilegious, purity, dom! noah and bulge kink
word count - 1.7k
MINORS DNI 18+
an - i have no knowledge of religion as i didn't grow up with it so i truly apologize if i offend you but this idea has been stuck in my head for a good while.
there’s nothing wrong with feeling this way, noah told himself, it’s just a damn crush.
but he knew he had no chance with you at all, i mean you two were complete opposite of each other. while he was covered in tattoos, you had no ink littering your skin. he only ever wore dark colors, you wore bright and neutral colors. the only jewelry he wore were rings that adored his long inked fingers, while you wore a gold cross necklace along with a gold purity ring that wrapped around your left ring finger that you’ve worn since the age of 15. he remembers the day he had asked you about it.
“why do you always wear that ring? i’ve never seen you take it off or remove it once.”
“oh, it’s my purity ring! my parents gifted it to me for my birthday.” you told him while admiring it, “it’s my pledge to wait until marriage.”
he couldn’t help but scoff, “you really believe in all that waiting till marriage bullshit?”
“i mean, yeah. i’d rather focus on my schooling and career before having sex. in plus, i wanna wait for the right person who is gonna love me for the rest of my life instead of just using me for something sinful. wouldn’t you agree?” you question him.
“just because my dad is the priest doesn’t mean i’m innocent. that went away a couple months ago.” he informed you and you looked away from him.
“well, congratulations on that but that’s not something i wanna do.” you told him quietly.
he felt bad for making you uncomfortable back then but he was just trying to prove a point. he feels bad even now because he couldn’t control his thoughts when it came to you. you were sitting right beside him wearing a lilac floral cami dress with a white cardigan and black mary janes, the neckline kept you covered but for any reason if the dress was tugged down he would be able to see your cleavage and that made his mind spiral.
the service had ended about 20 minutes ago so there wasn’t a lot of people left in the chapel and you said something to him but he was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear you. as you stood up, he got the great idea to trip you though it was risky but he just wanted a peek and he got just what he wanted as you fell. the sight of lacy black underwear took him by surprise while his cock hardened fast though it didn’t last long as you quickly tugged your dress down when you stood up.
“noah! why did you do that?!” you quietly yelled at him, he had to restrain himself before he was a little too honest with you.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t realize i put my foot out.” his false sympathy was evident in his voice but you just sighed and made your way out of the chapel into the corridor. he waited a few minutes then got up to follow you. he couldn’t hold back anymore especially if he was gonna be able to get you alone somewhere.
when he saw you exit the restroom, he started walking towards you and you noticed him immediately though it wasn’t hard to spot him.
“noah, are you okay? you’ve been acting weird all day.” the innocence in your voice almost made him cum right then and there.
“yeah, i just need to see you on my cock hun.” your body froze at his words, face turning pink and your eyes wide at him. “c’mon. i know you’ve never done anything but do you really wanna until marriage when i could make you feel good. forget all that bullshit for once and just trust me.”
of course you found noah attractive but you couldn’t imagine that he wanted you and with how much you would be on his case with not following the right path, you thought he would’ve dropped you by now. not to mention, you have gotten off to the thought of him a couple times.
“fine, i trust you noah.” you swore you could feel the purity ring burning your skin after you spoke those words.
“good girl. now, meet me back in the chapel at midnight. keep this dress on as well.” he told you as he kissed your cheek and walked away.
what did you just agree to?
-
you felt nauseous as you walked into the chapel, you wanted to be here but you were just nervous since you didn’t know what to expect with what would happen.
“i’m glad you didn’t back out.” the sound of noah’s voice startled you.
“of course i did. i told you that i trusted you.” you told him as you walked towards the podium.
when you got close enough, he made you lean back on the podium as he began kissing you but it didn't last long since he moved his lips to your neck which caused goosebumps to rise all over your body. he grabbed a fist full of your hair tugging it as he dragged his tongue up your neck till he reaches your ear then lightly bites and you let out a whimper at feeling.
noah then fell to his knees before you, pushing your dress up to see you were still wearing those lacy black underwear and he couldn’t hold back a smirk as he tugged them off of you then quickly shoved them into his pocket as a trinket to remember this.
“no one can be this cute.” he murmurs to himself as he stares at your slick heavenly cunt, leaning in to start lapping it up with his hot tongue melting against you then spreading you open with his thumbs while an overwhelming ecstasy flows through your body starting from your toes all the way up to your head with hot pleasure mainly in your belly.
“oh god, noah!” you cry out as he wrapped his lips around your clit then began to suck and lick while your thighs trembled against his head and tangled your fingers in his hair.
“there’s no god here to save you, sweetheart. just me. accept me as your god and cum for me now.” he commanded as he slid his long middle and ring finger into you. the curling of his fingers inside of you causes you to forget everything as you feel the hot bliss in your body explode and you let out a loud moan of his name. he moves away to stand back over you while sucking his fingers clean of your slick as fight off tears of embarrassment since you enjoyed the sight of him.
noah made you rest your back against the podium again as he pulled his pants down to expose himself and you immediately felt intimidated by the size of his cock.
“wanna taste?” noah asked as he noticed how hard you were staring at him.
you quickly nodded at him, he dragged his finger along his tip to gather precum and then brought it towards your lips. your lips wrapped around his finger carefully with your tongue licking his cum up, it was sweet but slightly salty and it may have been a sin but you loved the flavor of him. noah watched you with hooded eyes as he slowly took his finger out of your mouth while you whined at him and he pulled you into a kiss, his tongue grazing over your teeth which you could still taste yourself on. it was supposed to be nasty but it felt so amazing.
“you’re so fuckin disgusting for letting me do this to you.” he groans as he pulls away from you.
“we shouldn’t be doing this in general.” you inform him as you run your hand down his body.
“it’s gonna feel amazing, doll. don’t worry. i can’t fuckin wait to ruin you and feel how tight this pussy is.” the sound of his voice causes you to shiver with pleasure and he removes his shirt then stuffed it into your mouth.
“just to be safe.” is all he says as he lines himself to the slick mess between your thighs.
noah slides in with no resistance, he tries to take it slow but the feeling of your tight walls causes him to thrust into you fully and the shirt muffles your scream. slowly pulling out just to go right back in which causes your head to fall back and mind to go blank. “are you really a woman of god if i was able to convince you this easily to sin?” he removes the shirt from your mouth which lets you finally moan loudly at the pleasure of him pushing your thighs further apart letting him reach even deeper if possible.
“oh fuck, noah. i’ve never felt like this before.” you whine at him as he accentuated each hard thrust against the podium, feeling the wood dig into your back.
“because your god can’t give you pleasure like i can. i knew this is what you needed so let me be your only god.” noah tells you.
“i will.” you whimper as you cry at the feeling of him speeding up, his hand grabbed yours then made you feel your stomach and your head fell back as you could feel his cock through your stomach which caused you to clench around him harder. he barely touched your clit which finally let you cum, crying with whines escaping your mouth and moan. the rough and bruising grip he had on your thighs felt amazing as he shuddered and faltered while sucking on your neck as he came inside you.
as he pulled out and let you go, you moaned and opened your eyes only to be met with the sight of the statue of christ staring down at you as the feeling of cum dripped out of you and down your legs.
“don’t move.” noah then spoke as he pulled his phone out, snapping a picture of your completely fucked out and ruined body. dress pulled up, hair disheveled, face red with tears still streaming down your face and his cum still dripping out of you.
“noah.” you groan out, he puts his phone away then helps you straighten yourself up and himself as well.
he gives you a soft kiss before saying, “so? am i worthy of being your god now, sweetheart?”
title comes from heaven by taemin which inspired this whole idea along with the hell i overcame mv
i already know i'm going straight to hell so don't even bother telling me.
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Hello!
I rewatched Pride and Prejudice and it's surprising how my thoughts on it changed over the years 😃
When I was a teenager, Elizabeth Bennet was the plucky heroine that I wanted to be (lol) , now I'm older with a mortgage and responsibilities/bills, I'm like what was her plan in life?
Because she wasn't really educated per se (im thinking about how she answered lady Catherine about what she has to recommend her re:drawing, playing the piano etc) so I guess a 'career'(no matter how little it would be available at that time) was out of the question, but accepting marraige to the (admittedly obsequious) Mr Collins was also out of the question as well as Mr Darcys first proposal (which I get why sge turned it down!) ...I guess I'm asking what Elizabeth's plan for her future.
I've heard this from a lot of people upon re-read, "Why isn't Elizabeth more worried about her future?" I think there are a few things to note.
Early 1800s or not, Elizabeth is 20 years old when the novel begins (the average age of first marriage for women was 23). 27 year old Charlotte is in more of a future panic, but Elizabeth is still young. She has done practical thing like learn to play piano, but like most young people, she's probably just hoping for the best. And it's not like there is much she can actually do, Elizabeth is putting herself out there, she's dancing, she's playing piano, but otherwise she can just hurry up and wait. Her mother's marriage schemes are seen as vulgar and mostly backfire, and we would hardly want Elizabeth to act like Caroline. We read across Austen's novel's that women are largely stationary and it is the men who move in and out of their lives.
Also, I think a big part of Austen's point is that women are in a position where they feel the need to accept any and every proposal, because as Mr. Collins says, they may never receive another, but that this leads to misery (just look at the older couples and how many of them are unhappy!). While somewhat foolish from a financial perspective, Elizabeth is thinking about her long term happiness. She has watched her father turn bitter in an unequal relationship, she does not want that for herself. Elizabeth is choosing possible spinsterhood over being married to a person she knows she could not respect. Marrying for love, or at least on a basis of respect, is a big theme in Austen's novels. Let me add this quote from Mansfield Park to illustrate this point:
“I should have thought,” said Fanny, after a pause of recollection and exertion, “that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man’s not being approved, not being loved by some one of her sex at least, let him be ever so generally agreeable. Let him have all the perfections in the world, I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself.... And, and—we think very differently of the nature of women, if they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as this seems to imply.”
So yes, Elizabeth Bennet isn't being financially prudent but she is being sensible in preserving her happiness. And for realism, we know Austen made this decision herself! She turned down an eligible offer.
Next, Mrs. Bennet is somewhat exaggerating: they are very unlikely to starve or be destitute. While it is never explicitly stated, Mr. Gardiner seems to be doing very well, and would probably very happily take at least Jane and Elizabeth if Mr. Bennet died. Mr. Philips is also doing well for a country attorney, he could take in his sister-in-law and nieces. It is going to suck, the Bennets should have planned better, but it's not the end of the world. We also do not know Mr. Bennet's age, but he may well only be in his late forties. He's no Mr. Woodhouse who may die tomorrow in a stiff breeze.
So what is Elizabeth's plan? She doesn't have one, she's 20. She's hoping life will throw her a man with a decent income that she doesn't hate. It works out in the end, but I don't think she would live to regret either turned down proposal if she had never met Darcy again.
#question response#elizabeth bennet#pride and prejudice#she doesn't have a plan#she's young#she just has staandards
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Why Writing Is So Lonely | Rin T.
Hello writers, and anyone else who uses Tumblr on a daily basis like me. (Although I’ve been inactive off and on.) It’s me, Rin, and I wanted to talk about something that I think a lot of us struggle with. Or at least anyone, and everyone who considers themselves writers.
The loneliness that can come with the writing life and being a writer. We spend so much of our time alone. It doesn’t matter if you're using your laptop or scribbling in notebooks. Or pacing around in your living room and muttering dialogue to yourself (which I'm completely guilty of.)
Writing is really a solitary passion, and it hasn't just recently been like that. I'm sure Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe dealt with similar feelings. And sometimes that isolation can take a real toll that many of us choose to ignore, both on our creativity, our passion, which I assume is writing in this case, and our mental health.
I’ve been writing for about 4 years now, mostly working on my own little passion projects that I plan on publishing and side hustles, not only for my writing project but also my blog (TheWrite AdviceForWriters). I’m currently knee-deep in 4 different novel drafts that I’m absolutely in love with. However, let me tell you. It can get Very lonely a lot of times. There are days when I feel like I’m the only person in the world who cares about these made-up characters and their fictional problems. The characters I create in my mind are so vivid that they seem like the only individuals who actually care about my passion. (They technically are, considering they are basically my passion.)
It’s so easy to start wondering whether anyone will ever want to read the stories I'm pouring my heart into. The self-doubt I get has been a big part of my writing journey, and sometimes it breaks my heart knowing that I may not please everyone who reads my stories. That I possibly could get the worst reviews out there on my book. If it's not perfect for society. For example, I have been reading and receiving news on Alex Aster and the amount of bad reviews she received for her LightLark novel, and she has had a few times where she’s stated she poured her heart into it. And it's not just Aster who deals with these as a published author; there are many others, and it sometimes scares me.
But you know what? I've come to realize that this loneliness is just part of the writer’s journey. And that it truly is going to be the process of every writer’s journey and career. It’s going to be one of the prominent challenges we have to face if we want to do this crazy, wonderful, painful thing we call writing. And I think it's important we talk about it, especially since I'm a blogger who owns a blog specifically for writers. The biggest reason I chose to create this blog was for this reason and the many other challenges of being a writer.
I definitely will consider this blog post to be a discussion, and if anyone wants to reblog or reply to this blog post and start a conversation, please do so, just so we can support each other and figure out healthy ways to cope.
So, why is writing such a lonely pursit? Well, there are quite a few reasons, especially reasons for each individual writer; however, here are a few key reasons:
The Act Itself is Solitary.
At the end of the day, writing is something we have to do on our own. Sure, we can brainstorm with other writers and friends who write or get feedback from beta readers. Or even develop and edit your manuscript with a professional book editor. But the actual act of putting words on the page is a solo endeavor. We’re the ones doing the typing, the (physical) writing, and the constant racking of our brains to find the perfect word or phrase to put down on paper or the blank page on a screen.
Even when we’re writing collaboratively, there’s still a certain level of isolation involved. I mean, after all, our individual writing process and creative visions have to align for the collaboration to work.
And let’s be real—aligning those things isn't always easy.
I’ve reached out to book editors, more so of developmental editors, which is an editor who guides the writer/author on the actual plot and outline of the novel itself. And they have mentioned the difficulties of needing to align with the creativity of the topic or novel. It isn't easy at all.
I know that for me, my most productive writing sessions happen when I'm alone. And I know for a fact I'm not alone on that.
Having no distractions when it's just me, my thoughts, and the blinking cursor on the screen with a Spotify playlist playing in the background. And while that can be deeply fulfilling and very productive, I will admit it can be incredibly lonely.
It's an Emotionally Draining Process.
Writing isn't just about stringing words together. It's about pouring our hearts and souls onto the page. Were digging into our deepest emotions, our biggest fear, our wildest dreams, our thoughts, our philosophy, I can go on. And that kind of vulnerability can be utterly exhausting.
When I'm in the process of drafting a new novel or the many current projects I'm working on. I often find myself emotionally drained at the end of the day. I've been living and breathing these characters, feeling their joys and pains as my own. describing the actions, words, and emotions these characters do and feel. And then after that, I have to close my laptop, put my pen and notebook away, and try to reenter the “real world"—a world that doesn’t always understand the weight I've been carrying.
It can be so isolating, feeling like the only person who understands the emotional journey of your writing. Knowing what it feels like to create characters and their stories and emotions and personalities just as if they were real humans. Our non-writer friends and family members try their best to be supportive, but unless they experience it firsthand, they cannot fully grasp the depth of what we go through. I can tell when I explain my projects to others who aren't writers, it can sometimes feel like they don't care about what I'm saying to them. Or it can also feel like, my stories are just a synopsis for an underrated movie no one’s ever watched.
It's a Profession of Rejection
I think we all know, writing is a tough gig. It's a tough career and job. Even the most successful authors have had to face their fair share of rejection. The rejections can be received from agents, publishers, readers, or critics. (like I mentioned earlier), and that constant stream of “no’s” can really chip away at our confidence and sense of self-worth. And especially if you're an aspiring author and have not yet published your work. Knowing that rejection is a big part of the career of writing is frightening. Really.
I remember when one of my best friends, who is a writer, who is currently in the process of publishing her book, would send query after query only to receive endless rejections. She told me it felt like the entire world was telling her, “Your writing isn't good enough,” and that can be a pretty lonely and demoralizing place to be. It has made me anxious about getting to the querying phase, as I still haven't begun to query yet.
Even when we start to find some success, the fear of rejection never really goes away. Will readers love our next book as much as the last one? Will readers even like my debut novel? Will the critics tear it apart? I know when I first started writing my first novel project. I rewrote the first chapter. 13 times!! And that’s because of all the questions and doubts I had in mind. It’s enough to make any writer want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
And the thing is, as writers, we often don't have the same support system that people in other professions might have. We don't have coworkers to commiserate with or a boss to reassure us; it’s just us. Our doubts and the eerie silence of an empty inbox. For example, Ana Neu, one of my all-time favorite Author-Tuber's, has dealt with similar struggles. She’s mentioned several times how lonely she feels and how her family doesn't fully understand her love and passion for writing. And I completely agree with her. If you want to listen to more of her, please listen to her podcast and watch her videos on YouTube here.
So, now that I went over the key reasons as to why writing is so lonely, I didn't want to end this post on negativity, that’s why I wanted to list the main strategies that have helped me:
Build a Writer’s Community
One of the best ways to combat the isolation of writing is to surround yourself with other writers. That’s why I found social media to be a gift, not just for the other obvious reasons, but because we get to find writers around the world who enjoy the same things we like. Having that sense of community can be a game changer.
When I first started my Tumblr blog, TheWriteAdviceForWriters, I was really hoping to create that kind of supportive space for writers. I wanted to create a space where anyone who enjoys writing—not just fiction writers, but anyone who finds writing to be a passion of theirs—can share their dreams and struggles with. It's been amazing to connect with so many incredible people who just “get” the unique challenges we face. Being able to share our achievements and share our compassions. It's been vital for my own mental health as a writer, and I hope that it can also be vital for all of you.
And of course, the community is not about venting or seeking validation from others; its about providing feedback, encouragement, and just being able to make friends. Having that makes the lonely parts of the writing process and journey feel a little less lonely.
Prioritize Self-care
It's so easy to get caught up in the work and neglect our well-being. There have been multiple times where I wouldn't take a break from my writing sessions and simply not eat and drink. I wouldn't give myself time to process everything I wrote, and I immediately after would criticize it.
However, I find that self-care is the most important part of combating the isolation that comes with being a writer. For me, that looks like making sure I get enough sleep. You can't process, learn, and remember anything when you don't have enough sleep. During my personal self-care, when I do 45-to 1-hour writing sessions, I usually take a short nap after. Eating nourishing meals and snacks is important, as is making time for the hobbies and activities that bring me joy. I usually like reading books, spending quality time with my family members, and very feisty (and sometimes scary) cat.
3. Cultivate Gratitude
When loneliness starts to creep in, it can be really helpful to shift our mindset and focus on what we are grateful for; this can be really productive and rewarding. Being a writer is a gift; we get to spend our days doing what we love, bringing our creative visions to life and sharing them with people who love literature. Readers are such a big part of being a writer, and they're huge motivations to me.
So, if you can, just take a moment to appreciate the joys of writing. For example, if you have any writing quirks, I personally have to wear bracelets on both of my wrists in order to produce some type of creativity when I write. I'm not sure why it's just something I noticed. I also really love writing my manuscripts physically. I tend to do this when I'm suffering from writer's block, and for some reason my writing style is a lot better.
And don't forget the many other joys of writing, like drafting, and the excitement of sharing your work with others. Having a new idea come to mind that fits perfectly in your plot. Or even a reader or beta reader sharing a comment on your work and giving you encouragement.
Also, please celebrate your wins; it makes writing all too fun, and it's a great way to integrate writing into the real world.
End Note
I wanted to write this post because I know a lot of us deal with feeling lonely; I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time, and I wanted to share it with Tumblr. I feel like each and every one of you all feel the same way. And that’s why I created my Tumblr community; that's the reason I created this blog, and that's the reason I strive to build this into an entire brand.
I want to bring more awareness to writers, we are the people behind the stories, movies, and media that we consume today, and we barely get any credit for our work. I want to make a brand where others who never thought writing to be their passion could actually for once consider “Is writing for me?”
I feel like it's such an underrated yet overrated passion. Yet it's not acknowledged as much.
I hope this post can make you understand that writing is 90% lonely and you are not crazy for thinking so. But, we can use the resources we have today, like social media, to change that and make writing better for the present and the future.
Thank you all for reading. And please, if you are considering joining a community if you haven't already, please join The Write Right Society. We recently met 100 members, and the community is continuing to grow.
#writing#thewriteadviceforwriters#writeblr#creative writing#how to write#writers block#writing tips#on writing#writers on tumblr#aspiring author#authors of tumblr
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I was looking through my drafts and found this compilation of quotes I put together of Beatle girls talking about other Beatle girls. It's probably not totally comprehensive, but I thought some people might find it interesting.
Cyn + Mo
Far from being a shy little thing, Maureen was talkative, full of laughter and great fun: we all liked her enormously and thought she was good for Ringo.
All of the Beatles’ women got on with each other, but Maureen, who was one of the most down-to-earth, honest people I ever knew, became my closest friend. After their son Zak was born in September, seven months after the wedding, she and I used to go up to Knightsbridge to shop. Anthony would drop us off and we’d do the rounds of Harrods, Harvey Nichols and the designer shops in between, then stop for lunch in a smart little bistro. We’d buy cute little outfits for our sons and we were always on the lookout for something different or special for the men. We loved to surprise them with a psychedelic shirt, a piece of ethnic jewellery, or I would buy John a new plectrum for his guitar. John always loved prezzies, as he called them. No matter how small they were, he’d be delighted and I loved looking for things to surprise him. Much as Maureen and I enjoyed our outings, she always made sure she was at home for Ringo when he came in. Such was her devotion to him that she would stay up sometimes until four in the morning to greet him with a home-cooked meal. She wanted him to feel loved and cared for and, like me, she had been brought up in a family where women did the caring and nurturing while men provided. We often went over to their house and hung out with them, it was always party time at the Starkeys’. Ringo was gregarious and fun-loving, a clown and a joker with an infectious laugh. Together, he and Maureen made an irresistible double act, both extrovert and uninhibited. Ringo had installed a replica pub in their front room, which he called the Flying Cow. It had a counter and till, tankards, mirrored walls and even a pool table. He’d nip behind the bar to serve us all drinks, while Maureen supplied us with endless plates of food. It was a cosy, comfortable house with what felt like the ultimate luxury at the time: a TV – usually switched on – in every room. They had large grounds, in which Ringo had built in a go-kart track. He and John would race the go-karts or play pool while Maureen and I chatted over a cup of tea or took Zak and Julian for a walk. Ringo’s other passion was making his own short films. He had lots of equipment and loved to experiment, so after the nanny had taken over Zak and Julian we’d watch his latest movie. One was a fifteen-minute study of Maureen’s face. Innovative, perhaps, but not the most riveting entertainment.
Cynthia Lennon, John
Cyn + Jane
Jane was different from the girls Paul had been out with previously. The daughter of a psychiatrist father and a music-teacher mother, she was highly intelligent and cultured. She had a strong inner confidence, with a maturity and grace way beyond her years.
Paul stayed for a while. He told me that John was bringing Yoko to recording sessions, which he, George and Ringo hated. Paul had broken up with Jane Asher a couple of weeks after John had left me. I was sorry because I’d really liked Jane.
Cynthia Lennon, John
Cyn + Pattie
I liked Cynthia, but of all the Beatle wives and girlfriends I found her the most difficult to make friends with. She and I came from such different backgrounds; she had no career, she was a young mother, and we had no point of reference apart from our attachment to a Beatle. She wasn’t like my friends, who enjoyed a giggle and some fun: she was rather serious, and often, I thought, behaved more like John’s mother than his wife. I tended to leave her to her own devices but invited her to join me for shopping. I think she felt a bit out of her depth in the smart, sophisticated circles in which the Beatles were now moving in London. And I don’t think it helped that John thought I looked like Brigitte Bardot, or that I got on so well with him. There was a rumor—I don’t know where it came from—that John and I had an affair, and I suppose Cynthia may have believed there was something in it. It was completely untrue: we never had an affair. I wouldn’t have dreamed of it and neither, I am sure, would John.
Pattie Boyd, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me
Meanwhile George, who had just turned twenty-one, had met a young model called Patti Boyd and fallen in love. Pattie had been given a part in A Hard Day's Night, playing a schoolgirl, because she had appeared in a successful crisps advertisement -- she was known as the Smith's Crisps girl. She was blonde, beautiful, and a sophisticated Londoner, like Jane Asher. But, like the rest of us Beatle girls, she was friendly, too, and easy to get on with.
Patti and I were becoming close friends. I admired her gorgeous figure and perfect fashion sense, and I think she enjoyed the company of someone who’d been with the Beatles from the beginning and knew the ropes.
Cynthia Lennon, John
"George has a lot with the others that I can never know about. Nobody, not even the wives, can break through it or even comprehend it. It did used to hurt me at first, as I slowly began to learn there was a part I could never be part of. Cyn talked to me about it."
[Pattie speaking] "It's not so bad these days, but it happens. Cyn was attacked not long ago in the street. Some girl kicked her in the legs and said she had to leave John alone, or else. Isn't it amazing, after all the years that John and Cyn have been married?"
[Pattie speaking] "Some people do understand. If they've been developing a lot themselves, growing up more, they know what it's all about. Cyn was very helpful at first, telling me what to do. That was when we thought of the boutique."
Cyn now and again would like to try something new, to have a job, perhaps use her art-college training in some way. She and Pattie, George's wife, did discuss the idea once of opening a boutique together in Esher, but it never came to anything.
Hunter Davies, The Beatles
Mo + Jane
I got to know Jane as well during that trip. While Paul and Richy were off horsing around, Jane and I chatted quite a bit. She’s such an intelligent person and I thought them quite an odd couple at first. Paul is such an assertive fellow (you know) he knows what he wants and Jane is that way too. I often wondered to meself how they ever stayed together as long as they did (you know).
Maureen interviewed by Maurice Devereux for Le Chroniqueur (July 1988)
Mo + Pattie
Again, she and I had little in common but she was jolly and friendly, more relaxed than Cynthia. We got on but I felt there was definitely a north-south divide among the wives and girlfriends. And I had the definite impression that the girls from the north felt they had a prior claim to “the boys.”
The final straw was his affair with Maureen Starr, Ringo’s wife. She was the last person I would have expected to stab me in the back, but she did.
Pattie Boyd, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me
Pattie + Jane
Jane Asher was the girlfriend with whom I felt most at home, but because we both had heavy work commitments she was also the one I saw least. She came from a professional family, had grown up in London and, like me, had been privately educated. The family lived in Wimpole Street; her father was a psychiatrist and her mother a music teacher—her brother Peter became half of the pop duo Peter and Gordon. She was three years younger than me but we got on well and I’ve always been pleased to see her whenever we’ve met.
Pattie Boyd, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me
BONUS: Mo on Linda + Yoko
I always thought [Yoko] strange. I mean she would always interrupt the lads when they were working or do strange things without any reason whatsoever. I was there when John brought the bed, and said something about wanting Yoko to be there. I asked Richy about this and he just shook his head in disbelief. I often wondered how they all put up with her. Even Richy would come home and tell me all these strange stories about her. He once told me about her moaning into John’s microphone while they were recording a song and how the two of them would make-out during takes. I always avoided her in the studio for those reasons. She was just too strange for me.
Q: What was it like to sit in the studio with John, Paul and George? A: It was like watching a couple of actors rehearsing a scene in a movie (laughs). I would sit there with a cup of coffee in my hand and watch them for a while or maybe gossip with Linda [McCartney] or Mal [Evans]. When I did watch them, I always thought to meself, so this is what he’s been doing for the last six years! (laughs) I sometimes felt like a fly on the wall, but I knew that I had to be the luckiest fly in the world. Pattie [Harrison] would sometimes be there, but she would always leave early.
Maureen interviewed by Maurice Devereux for Le Chroniqueur (July 1988)
Can't really find any proper quotes from Pattie about Yoko or Linda. She mentions both in her book without much judgment and there are pictures of her with both of them throughout the years so they probably got on okay. I don't think Jane has ever been in the same room as either Linda or Yoko. Same with Cyn and Linda. Cyn's thoughts on Yoko are probably well-established at this point.
#was not expecting the cyn + pattie section to be the longest honestly#midposts#maureen starkey#pattie boyd#jane asher#cynthia lennon#linda mccartney#yoko ono#mo#pattie#jane#cyn#linda#yoko
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.1
So disclaimer: I took screenshots instead of photographing my screen this time, but the quality of footage is a thousand times worse so the images are still mostly shit. But anyway, here we go :)
We're going to have to keep a tally on how many times they refer to their relationship in romantic terms. Less than a minute in, Paul has used the description, “great love affair.”
And John's right on his heels with “the sexual equivalent of . . . People in love.” So there's 2 already. Oh boy.
That opening montage of John and Paul just living for the light in each other's eyes should actually be the official music video for “I wanna hold your hand.”
Also I wonder how many songs they have about hiding. Someone's got to have a list somewhere right?
I adore the absolute lack of reaction to John manhandling Paul.
And then This Look. He's in love with him, ladies and gentlemen.
I remember seeing somewhere that this footage was literally right after they'd finished “she loves you.” Which was pretty recently after Bob Wooler, which was right after Barcelona. And if you're like me and you think that song is secretly about their relationship? If Paul's just been singing “she said you hurt her so, she almost lost her mind, but now she says she knows you're not the hurting kind. She said she loves you” at you, after all of that? Of course John's acting like a fucking puppy dog.
Poor George tally number 1
Excuse me??? John wants to live in the Beatle apartment instead of with his actual literal wife until Paul decides to move in with his girlfriend? What? He's so insane. Cynthia, you're lucky Paul's a fucking social climber.
I think it's indicative of two things that Paul said “screw secret girlfriends” while John happily went along with secret wives. One: different levels of security in masculinity (John doesn't have gay eyebrows etc) and two: different relationships. Jane and Paul's relationship was a smart career move for both of them and I think, being upper-class, and having her own career, and not being a mother, Jane was in more of a position to have a say.
Every time I watch that footage of Ken Dodd asking about their parents I physically cringe. Poor poor babies. Do your research you idiot! I don't think that ever happened again. I wonder if Brian made sure of that.
Paul literally talks like such a husband here. “We've thought about it, and probably the thing that John and I will do . . .”
Obsessed with Paul shouldering himself between George and John after George's little joke shove. It's so protective and yet so subtle. Exactly the same strong posture and easy smile as when he stepped between John and that interviewer during the Jesus scandal.
Poor George tally number 2 (you can't quite tell from the pic but John is shoving him out of the way because how dare he put his suitcase by Paul's?! That's John's suitcase's spot!!)
All the Beatles were cuddly with each other. It's one of the cutest bits about them, the puppies in a basket aspect. But I think we'll need a “noticable spacing difference” tally for this rewatch, too, and here's the first.
Paul wearing John's hat for attention and it fully and completely doing the job? They're so embarrassing!
I actually love that John's imitation of his upper-class Scottish family (which Paul can't do) is actually much more convincing than his broad Liverpudlian (which Paul nails in two variations, one based off his own family) I'm obsessed with the class dynamics between them.
Poor George tally three. He shares this one with Ringo. That moment when Paul's pretending to interview them about their purple hearts and cuts them both off with, “thank you. Mi-mister Lennon,” and John and Paul proceed to completely forget the other two exist for who knows how long – certainly longer than the videographer was willing to record.
I find John sliding into Paul's raspy “tiiight yeeeah” with his very turned on “mmmMM it's been a hard” extremely suggestive. I'm sorry but I do.
It's like he thinks if he looks away for too long he's going to disappear or something. Which. Now that I said that. Yeah. That is what it is. Poor separation-issues baby.
Ringo: Paul, you wrote a beautiful song and you sing it great. John: yeah and you're SEXY! Let's not forget that, everyone.
Am I crazy to obsess over every little musical similarity in their songs? Yes. Can I help it? No. The little “oh-oh ohoho” in the If I Fell demo is exactly the same as in Imagine and (frothing and writhing) it means something I can feel it! I just have no idea what.
I also find the lyric change from “i hope that she won't cry” to “i hope that she will cry” extremely interesting. There's always a heterosexual explanation. Trust me, the straights are the Simone Biles of mental gymnastics. But while the published lyric can be read as a man bitter toward his ex girlfriend hoping to hurt her by flaunting his new relationship, the demo version is trickier. Could it be that he doesn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by letting her know he's in love with someone else? But who else could John Lennon possibly have been in love with at the time?
“Too too much in love. Woah, too too much in love with you.” My heart
#I'm sad because I really wanted to make a post about y'all's excellent tags on get back especially some that were such good points but I got#So if you want more discussion on those get back posts or if you want to laugh check out the tags on them#I think I'll just highlight and comment on tags as we go with ULM#ringo starr#george harrison#ulm#understanding lennon mccartney#mclennon#the beatles#paul mccartney#john lennon
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