#james forever after calls remus his ex

[impishtubist]

last line game

Rules: Share the last line you wrote in your WIP.

ty ty ty @spindrifters for the tag. this is all @sequinhaze ‘s fault.

“You knocked up my baby brother!”

“Well, you knocked up my ex!”

“You dated ten years ago for three months, that doesn’t count!”

Open tag!

[jilyawards]

The Jily Fandom Rec List 2024 is a compilation of Jily stories our readers want to keep an eye on for this year's awards.

SEPTEMBER

all the king's horses, all the king's men (completed, 7.1k) by @jilyss. Rated G.

As queen, Lily Evans faces the suffocating weight of isolation and loneliness that comes with the crown. The only constant in her life is James Potter, her loyal and ever-watchful royal guard.

it's brighter now (WIP, 21.6k as of 30 Sept 2024) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

“Oh, come on," James says, grinning. "I know you know who I am.” Something strange flashes across her face. “Is that so?” He drops into the open seat across from her and gestures toward his face, smiling widely. “This doesn’t ring any bells?” “Your…face,” she clarifies slowly.

Raising A Kid With My Ex (completed, 74.5k) by @wearingaberetinparis. Rated M.

James Potter and Lily Evans, two Phoenix Radio employees who had secretly admired one another from afar, pretended to be fake exes for their show “Shout Out To My Ex”. When Lily fell pregnant with James’ baby – after a whole lot of drama, disbanding “Shout Out To My Ex” and a breakup – the soon-to-be parents started a new show, named “Knocked Up By My Ex” in which they documented their pregnancy. Now, baby Harry has been born and Lily and James have to learn to navigate the challenges - major highs and some surprising lows - of parenthood together, despite the fact that they haven’t even been together for a year. A whole lot of chaos combined with a whole lot of love makes the perfect recipe for a new show: “Raising A Kid With My Ex”. Their fans’ well-intended advice, of course, might just be the cherry on top (even though some of it is truly completely bonkers). Yet, as James and Lily navigate parenthood together, they have to battle unprecedented forces that are making their journey as new parents a lot more difficult than they had anticipated. A Jily Modern AU inspired by Rachel Lynn Solomon’s “The Ex Talk” and sequel to “Shout Out To My Ex” and “Knocked Up By My Ex”.

crossbow, gun, and magic (and other stories) (oneshot collection, 12.8k as of 30 Sept 2024) by apalapucian. Rated T.

a collection of unrelated stories ft. james, lily, sirius, remus, and (occasionally) peter. so far: i. james, sirius, and lily; modern au ii. in the universe where sirius is the first to know; jily; hogwarts iii. blackevans (old fic rewrite); hogwarts; jily iv. james's last thoughts (old fic rewrite); jily; canon compliant v. order mission at a pureblood party; jily vi. zombie apocalypse au (old fic rewrite); jily vii. lily drunk-proposes to james (tumblr prompt) viii. james gets caught by death eaters (tumblr prompt)

Surface Pressure (completed, 1.3k) by @eastwindmlk. Rated T.

Lily dealing with the weight of her own expectations in 7th year

Partners (completed, 1.3k) by @ohmygodshesinsane. Rated T.

James is the last person Lily expects to visit when she's ill in the Hospital Wing, but the new Head Boy has more than one surprise for her.

Literary Sophistication (completed, 2.5k) by @andromedabooks. Rated G.

A quick Jily bookstore AU from my Tumblr

let me make it up to you (completed, 3.4k) by @kay-elle-cee. Rated E.

Two weeks ago, James left for a mission in the middle of the night without saying a word. Now he's is back, and Lily's not so quick to forgive.

speak now (completed, 1.4k) by @firefeufuego. Rated T.

The fuse has been lit. Lily can almost hear the crackling hiss of it, feel the building burn of it in the air as Sirius takes the reins of the conversation, as drinks are bought and poured down newly dry throats, and eventually as last orders are called and the four of them are standing outside and saying farewell with kisses on cheeks. Sam and Sirius apparate away. Lily and James do not. They stand, eyes fixed firmly on each other, ready to ignite. ‘Not forever, you said?’ James asks, his voice deep and quiet in a way that’s never been hers to hear before now. Follow-up to the lovely kay-elle-cee's 'silence and patience, pining in anticipation'.

crafting chemistry (completed, 4.8k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

“Is there something that needs to be discussed between the three of us?” Minerva prompts, her eyes narrowing sharply. Lily’s face betrays her first. A bright flush creeps slowly along her cheeks, blooming from her neck upward, as though her skin can’t hide the emotion simmering underneath. She keeps her eyes stubbornly trained on the far corner of the office, anywhere but James. Minerva notices James’s hand, the one that had been habitually running through his hair, freeze mid-motion, his fingers tightening slightly.

under the influence of loss (completed, 2.1k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

“Like what? You fancy me! Kiss me.” Each time she says it, it’s like a new bruise blooms around his heart, her words pressing on all of them at once. “I can’t!” he shouts, the frustration cracking through. “Because I’ve been drinking?” she demands, a bitter laugh escaping her. “Your chivalry is duly noted, Potter, but I’m giving you a pass here. Just—” “It’s not about that,” he interrupts.

common ground (completed, 3.8k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated G.

Lily pauses, suddenly aware of James’s intense gaze. “What? Why are you…” Heat rushes to her cheeks, and she hates it. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s just…it’s a good look on you, Evans.” “What is?” she asks, self-consciously. His grin widens. “Mischief.”

sidewalk chalk, covered in snow (completed, 8.7k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated G.

She didn’t mean to get used to any of them. [or: Lily Evans is strictly anti-Marauders...until she isn't. one by one.]

Till Death Do Us Part (Let It Be Quick) (WIP, 39.1k as of 30 Sept 2024) by @wearingaberetinparis. Rated M.

“Till death do us part,” she concluded, all air sucked from her lungs. Her fate signed, sealed and delivered. As the priest spoke his final words, she found herself ensnared in her adversary's gaze, trapped by the weight of it, her mouth opening as she spoke under her breath - almost subconsciously: “Let it be quick.” A Jily Arranged Marriage AU in which Lady Lily never imagined she would fall for the husband she was forced to wed. Inspired by My Lady Jane.

Check out the previous months' recs too: January, February, March || April || May || June || July || August

[chlobliviate]

Out of context snippet

Thanks for the tag @pain-in-the-riri!!

This is the opening to a fic I’ve had on the back burner for a while called The Remus Lupin Boyfriend Experience.

Fake dating! Background Jily and Dorlene! Unhinged behaviour in the name of ‘boyfriends’!

Remus and Sirius were categorically not a couple. They had made that very clear to Remus’ ex boyfriend, James, and Lily, and Pete, and The Weasleys, and Remus’ mum, and The Potters, and Marlene and Dorcas, and the very sweet old lady outside Tesco who had told them that it was beautiful to see two young men so in love. She was the one who had taken it the hardest, honestly. They were just best friends. That was all, and that was fine.

Lily had tried to pry from Remus whether he had feelings for Sirius for years at this point. His response to her hadn’t changed (‘Of course not, give me some credit.’) but he’d only be lying to himself if he didn’t acknowledge that there was at least a tiny flicker of something there. Not that he’d ever act on it and risk losing his favourite person and fracturing their friendship group forever. James had tried once to bring up his love life and learned his lesson swiftly when Remus blocked him on everything for ten days.

At 31, Remus had been in several long term relationships, but had been single since turning 30 after a calamitous break up with Benjy-Fucking-Fenwick. He knew that James and Lily meant well but there was no way in hell anything would ever happen with him and Sirius. He imagined they were also having these conversations with Sirius, but the two of them had never discussed it. James was getting less and less subtle when they met for video games and cocktails (an honoured Saturday evening tradition) and Lily just shrugged whenever Remus stared daggers at her.

But they most definitely were not a couple. Never had been a couple. Never would be a couple.

“What are you drinking tonight, Moons?” Sirius threw his arm around Remus’ waist and rested his head on his shoulder. “I can’t decide between some cider or risking James’ cocktail making skills.”

Remus hummed in thought as he instinctively wrapped his arm around Sirius’ shoulders. “He said he was aiming for ‘Sex on the Beach’ and ‘Woo Woo’s. So if you’re feeling fruity I—”

“I’m always feeling fruity, darling.” Sirius smirked up at him as Remus threw his head back and laughed. “You’re right, it’s cocktails and games, not cider and games.”

“But what about fruity cider?” Remus chuckled. “Is that not a cocktail?”

“Shut up.” He said, “Stop making things more difficult than they need to be.”

“But that’s where I excel. You know me.”

“Unfortunately.” He huffed, “So, vodka and juice?”

“And Grenadine if they have some.”

“That sweet tooth of yours is going to fuck you up one day.” Sirius suddenly turned to face Remus and spoke quietly. “Don’t look now, but Ben is over there.”

Remus, to his credit, didn’t look, but sighed. “Let’s grab what we need and go.”

“Or…” Sirius had a look on his face that Remus didn’t like at all.

“Or?”

“Or we let him know how much better you are without him.”

“I’m not— How? I’m not exactly thriving.” He narrowed his eyes at Sirius, who was beaming at him in a very disconcerting way.

“Well, I heard that you’re enjoying your new job, you’re very close to finishing your book and that you have a hot new boyfriend.”

Remus snorted, “Yeah, sure. I also won the lottery and I’m flying home in my private jet.”

“Remus, the things that man-child did to you made me so fucking angry. I’m still angry! Furious, in fact!” He looked up at Remus, his tone sharper, “Just tell him we’re dating, he’ll be jealous, trust me. You know he never trusted me around you. Not like I’ve known you since you were a tiny eleven year old.”

“You were a tinier eleven year old, and that just feels like opening an unnecessary can of worms, Pads.” Remus chewed on his bottom lip. “He probably wouldn’t care anyway.”

“Oh, he will.” Sirius extricated himself from Remus’ arm. “Trust me?”

“Of course I do.” Remus smiled softly at him.

“Hold my hand.”

“I don’t want to hold your hand.” Remus stared at him, blankly.

“Just suck it up and hold my hand. You have to.” Sirius grabbed his hand, roughly interlacing their fingers. “It’s not like we’ve never held hands before.”

“I hate you so much.”

“That’s fine, just hold my fucking hand.” Sirius said through a very toothy smile as he saw Benjy spot them.

Benjy Fenwick, man that you are, catching strays once again.

One day he’ll get his happy ever after, but it’s not this fic. I’m going to focus on this after I’m done with Ghosts so within the next week or two 🥰

I have no idea who to even tag bc I’m bad at tumblr. So I’m gonna tag ‘anyone who wants to do this’! 🥲🥲🥲 and maybe try and get better at tumblr.

[theroomofreq]

can you give me muggle jily recs pleaaseeee <3 :D

HOW MANY HIGH-QUALITY MUGGLE JILY FICS ARE THERE?? TOO MANY TO COUNT. *cracks knuckles* BUT I am here for the challenge. Jily AUs are my JAM.

Again, shoutout to our amazing @jilyarchive friends who tag every wonderful muggle jily au they come across. here is the link that will take you to their tags page. You'll find links to specific tropes and AUs :')

I've searched through my own AO3 bookmarks and history tabs, and I present to you 28 jily muggle fics that I LOVE. I am THRILLED thinking about all the good things in store for those that read these wonderful stories. This list took me ages to make because I went through and reread most of these brilliant fics. Happy reading !! xx

properly improper by @lizardcookie

“Marry me,” Mr. Potter repeats, closing the distance between them by striding back up towards the sofa, only to stop and crouch to one knee right there at her feet, looking up at her. Burning. “Pick me,” he elaborates. “Pick me, choose me, love me instead.”

- this fic is the reason why I comment the way that I do (spoiler it's because it's amazing)

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl

What is undeniably worse than attending your sister's wedding looking as desolate and forgotten as a wilted houseplant? Drunkenly ringing your ex-boyfriend and asking him to be your date.

- SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE PERFECTION

Oh my god, they were ROOMMATES by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world

Silly one-shot, Muggle AU with Fem!Jily as pining roommates and Marlene as their matchmaker.

- the fic that brought me back to jily and inspired my deep obsession of fem!jily

Swipe Right, Swing Left by @downn-in-flames

The unspoken rule of using dating apps in D.C. is that you always start with where you work.

James Potter, it seems, never picked up on that one.

- giddy just thinking about this gem

'Tis the Damn Season by @petalstofish

It doesn't feel like Christmas for Lily Evans, not after losing her parents to COVID before the Holiday season. She anticipates spending Christmas all alone until a boy from her past shows up and offers her a mutually benefiting deal that has her calling him 'babe' just for the weekend. 'Tis the damn season, after all.

- cries in respect for lyrical writing

Watch Me Unwind by @maraudersftw

Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight. (Rated: M)

- obsessed with the way the plot jumps around the time line in this

oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic

Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.

- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAB THIS IS

a matchmaking mission by @downn-in-flames

James Potter has a mission: get Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to finally admit that they both fancy the pants off each other by Valentine's Day.

His partner in crime? Lily Evans, Remus' flatmate, who he also happens to be slightly in love with

- DOUBLE the amount of pining idiots in love :")

about time by @jilyss

'sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. wait. why are we on a red carpet?'

- this is my emotional comfort fic, your honor

whiskey business by @elanev91

Sirius Black has a (bad?) habit of picking up hobbies that take over his and James' flat -- this most recent one? Homemade vodka that James now has to try and peddle to everyone in the building.

- hysterical! must read!

Fashion Disaster by @maraudersftw

James Potter is roped into an awful dare by his best-mate, which involves him wearing atrocious pieces of clothing for all days until Christmas as dictated by Sirius. If this wasn't terrible enough, he now has to contend with his maddening crush on the beautiful saleswoman at the clothing store.

- classic hijinks that I live for

it wasn't a pity invite by @elanev91

Part of the December "Winter Tropes" Jily challenge. Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omG i’m so sorry

- awkward Christmas date that owns my heart

spice and honey by @clare-with-no-i

tagging along with her food reporter sister to profile James Potter, London's hottest young chef, is not how Lily Evans pictured her Monday going - especially if he's anything like Petunia’s described.

needless to say, she's in for a whirlwind at Chez Maraudeur.

- I'm one re-read away from printing this out and putting it on my bookshelf.

Waffle Wars by @elanev91

There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.

- the witty narration in this fic can not be matched

You Can Hear It In The Silence by @alrightginger

Lily is non-verbal and deaf in a world where the things your soulmate says about you end up written on your skin. She has known about her soulmate since she was seven, but knows they don't have a clue she exists and possibly never will.

- exquisite, cue me sobbing forever

out the window by @displayheartcode

A new family moves to Ottery St Catchpole.

- everything I could ever want in a fic, forever in my mind rent free

The Christmas Guest by @thegodmachine

An Evans Family Christmas: Petunia is bringing her fiancé and Lily is bringing her…Friend…

- petunia pov that gives me WINGS

Football, Calculus, and Cappuccinos by @moonawrites

At eighteen years old, James Potter has a lot going on. He's a rising star navigating the politics of professional football, the pitfalls of sudden fame, the fallout from choosing his dream over his father's company... and a serious crush on the red headed new barista at his favourite coffee shop.

- I'm still working my way through this fic, but trust me when I say its a GEM

if u like pina coladas by @zephyrcove

Lily is desperate for a date to Petunia's wedding, James has been pining, and their friends meddle ;)

- explain to me how characters can be so perfect via texting fics?

Shelf Awareness by @ghostofbambifanfiction

It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there.

- you absolutely must know that I binge read this and then immediately REREAD it

How to win a witch in 10 days by @adenei

“She’s going to find some unsuspecting wizard, get him to fall for her, and then do all the things that turn men away to get him to break things off! Won’t it be the best way to see what witches do that drives men crazy?” But what happens when the man in question is a blast from Lily Evans's past? A Jily Magical AU based on the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

- fic based off of a rom com? YES PLZ :’)

The Fight Before Christmas by @ghostofbambifanfiction

The heartwarming Christmas tale of Lily Evans and James Potter - two plucky kids who hated one other, until the day they really, really didn't.

- complete sucker for this one

All This Time by @thejilyship

James and Lily grew up next door to one another. Their bedroom windows giving them glimpses into the others life, and also offering prime opportunities to argue with each other over every little thing. They never figured out how to be friends when they were kids, but now that they've graduated from college and are home for the summer, they have a second chance to get things right.

- one of my favvvv tropes

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.

- cries in princess diares AU

The Fabulous Baker Brothers by @frustratedpoetwrites

Lily walks a different route home from work and stumbles upon a cute little Bakery with an even cuter baker in the window.

- yes yes yes to embarrassed pining.

Marigold Mornings by @mppmaraudergirl

This is a fun game she thinks, as she removes her hand from his side and reaches up to run it down his chest.  He catches her hand in his own, takes a step forward so that her nose nearly brushes against his shirt. She can feel the heat radiating off of him—or maybe it’s from her. He licks his lips and her eyes are drawn to the motion.  She knows it is a bad idea, absolutely knows it.

- incredible storytelling featuring dynamic characters :') a favvv

Welcome to Pettyville by@women-inthe-sequel @alrightginger

When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?

- LOVE SQUARE ANYONE

The Kiss a Stranger Project by @alrightginger

“What’s your name, then?” she asks, realizing they haven’t even properly introduced themselves yet. She nervously crosses her arms.

You shouldn’t kiss a guy without knowing his name first.

Right?

- THIS ONE WILL LIVE IN MY MIND FOREVER

[justmesadgirl]

Apparate - Sirius Black

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Warnings: angst

Words: 1.5k

Summary: You and Sirius use to talk about how when you get your apparating license you can go visit him at the Potter’s house. But now you see him with someone else.

a/n:  English isn’t my first laungage so sorry for all the mistakes!

Inspired by driver’s license - Olivia Rodrigo

requests are open!

You had been so excited about your seventeenth birthday, it would mean you would be finally old enough to have your apparating test.

You and Sirius both had waited for this day for you to be able to apparate so you could finally go to the Potter’s house whenever you wanted to. So in the summer you two could spend more time together.

“This summer you can come over all the time. I can’t wait.” Sirius mumbled into your hair. You two were lying by the Black lake. He was leaning on a tree and you were leaning on him, enjoying the first days of spring.

“Me neither.” You tell him as you feel his lips against your neck. His long fingers playing with yours. “Every day with you sounds like a dream to me, honestly.”

“Just need you to turn seventeen and pass the appareting test.” He laughs. “Knowing you, you won’t pass it in the first try.”

“Shut it Black! I will!” You laugh with him. He was right you probably wouldn’t pass on the first try. “I love you.” You whisper to him as you close your eyes.

“And I love you, forever.” He whispers back. It was his thing every time he told you he loved you he would tell you that he loved you forever.

But now that all was just a distant memory that brought tears to your eyes. You still loved him like crazy, you always thought you two would end up getting married and having the happy ever after together. Even if you two weren’t perfect together you had never felt anything like the love you felt for Sirius. You two had dated for almost two years since you two were fifteen.

Tears were running down your face as you look at yourself in the mirror. You never thought you would have to go to the Potter’s house since you and Sirius broke up.

The last time you saw him he looked happy, like the brake up between you two never happen. He moved on so fast with Marlene.

The girl he always told you not to worry about. That they were just friends. But you doubted it. She was so much prettier, so much smarter than you and the way Sirius always looked at her told you more than his words could.

If Lily wasn’t your best friend you wouldn’t be going to James’ place in the first place. It was the end of the summer and you all were starting your last year at Hogwarts. So James of course had decided to throw a big party at his parents house and since he and Lily were dating Lily had made you promise to come.

Wiping the tears from your eyes trying your best to look okay before apparating. But you weren’t ready to leave just yet.

“It’s going to be okay y/n. Just go in say hi to Lily and then you can leave. You can do this even if he is there with her. You are strong and you can do this.” You tried to give yourself a pep talk in the mirror even if you didn’t believe in your own words. Fixing your makeup before getting up and looking around your room. Taking a big breath in before you apparate to the Potter’s house. You land in front of the front door, hearing that the music playing loudly and you could see people dancing through the windows.

Before you could knock on the door it swung open and Remus Lupin was standing in front of you with a huge smile.

“y/n! Finally! We been waiting for you!” He tells you as he brings you into a tight hug. Reamus smelled like alcohol and his steps weren’t the steadiest.

“Hey Rem.” You hug him back and place a soft kiss on his cheek.

“I can believe I haven’t seen you since summer started. Now come on let’s go in.” Remus takes your hand in his and pulls you inside the house. He makes his way to the kitchen where you can see James, Lily and  Peter talking. Seeing all of them made you smile, you missed them all so much even Peter.

“Look who I found!” Remus yells to his friends and all of them turn to face you with smiles matching yours.

“Finally took you long enough.” James smiles as he brings you into a hug.

“James, she is my best friend. I wanna hug her.” Lily whines at her boyfriend and pulls him off you so she can take his place. “I missed you so much.” Hugging you a little tighter after he words.

“I missed you too, all of you.” You reply as you pull away from her, placing a kiss on her cheek as well.

“James give your quest a drink.” Remus speaks up from next to you.

“Oh no. I’m not drinking just game by too fast to say my hello’s.” You let them know.

“That’s not going to work my dear! You will have to stay!” James told you handing you a drink he made, by the smell of it, it was mostly vodka.

“I can apparate home drunk.” You tried to find a good explanation so you wouldn’t have to stay.

“So you finally can apparate?” You hear a familiar voice from the doorway. You turn to face Sirius, his arms wrapped around Marlene's shoulder. Seeing him with her made your heart drop to your stomach.

“Yeah I can.” You give him a fast answer before turning back to your other friends.

“You can stay here for the night so you can drink.” James offers but you shake your head.

“No it’s okay but thanks anyway.” You tell him trying to give the drink back to him.

“Don’t be a party pooper y/l/n!” Sirius said from behind you. It hurt to hear him call you by your last name, even before you two dated he never called you by your last name.

“Yes don’t be a part pooper y/n! You will drink and stay the night! And I will not take a no as an answer so drink up!” James told you to bring your cup to your lips and makes you drink all of it.

“Let’s get this party started then!” James yells out wrapping his free arm around your shoulder as his other one around Lily and pulls you to the living room that had been made into a dance floor.

You weren’t sure how many drinks you had since you came here, but were surprisingly having a lot of fun. You haven't seen any of your friends through the whole summer. Having been avoiding them because you were afraid you would have to see Sirius but now as you were dancing with your best friend you didn’t even care that he was close by dancing with another girl or were you just lying to yourself.

”I need a drink.” You yell to Lily over the loud music before you make your way into the kitchen. Grabbing a glass of water and leaning on the kitchen counter, needing to take a breath.

“Can we leave Sirius? I bet your apartment would be so much nicer right now...” you hear Marlene talk as she and your beautiful ex boyfriend walk into the kitchen. Sirius doesn’t reply to her when he sees you, you couldn’t read the look on his face. Couple of months ago you were so close, you would always know what he was thinking about but now he was just a stranger to you who you loved more than anything.

“Oh you have your own place now? And I thought you were still staying with James?” You can’t stop the words coming out of your mouth. You were more talking to yourself than him. If you had known he wasn’t staying here maybe you would have visited your friends.

“Yeah got some heritage from my uncle and got my own place.” Sirius replied to your question. How his life had changed, you still can remember when he had told you that he left home and would stay with the Potter’s from now on even if you tried to have him stay with you.

“Oh, nice.” Was all you could get out as a reply. You nod your head at them before you make your way out of the kitchen and then from the house. You needed some fresh air, feeling the need to be alone. You ended up in the backyard and you saw the swing that you had spent a lot of time at last summer. You and Sirius would always end up outside alone so you could just talk.

You sit down at the swing and look at the house, the music was so loud and it was making you feel sick. But in all honesty you were feeling sick because Sirius had moved on, he had a new life and all without you.

Warm salty tears make their way down your cheeks as at this moment you realize that you will never love anyone like you love him. He would always own your heart no matter how much he hurt you. Your heart belongs to him and always will.

A/N: Let me know what you think and if you want to be added to any tag list! It means a lot to me when you guys leave  comments of what you think!!!

permanent tag list:

@smexylemony  @alylanaeblack  @dottirose @obviouslyoleff @sleepybesson @btzlc @judemoos @procrastinatingparker @spiderman-n @tomshufflepuff @marcymakemagic @joycelovedorial @wronglanemendes @lou-la-lou​ @spideyboix​ @nervouscafe @vibhati123 @ourkarlanicoleuniverse​ @whitoutsanity @spidey-holland7 @living-on-rice​ @emogril @joycelovedorial @biggraysonenergy​ @mendesilicious @heartbeats-wildly @dreaming-about-fanfictions​ @broidktf @softlyqoos​ @theweasleyslut​

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Can you please write a fic where James is a rich,star footballer and Sirius comes in to work as his super hott personal bodyguard??? And then James starts crushing on him hard but Sirius is hesitant because he could lose his job over this!!!! Please please please write this... I am a biiiig fan of your work... God Bless❤️

"What? I don't need a bodyguard," James said. The very idea was preposterous. 

Coach glared at him, but the rest of the team was slightly more reserved in staring him down. The whole administrative team was there, from the head coach to the team's PR representative. "There have been threats." 

"So? I also got threatened when I was seventeen and nothing ever came of it." 

The team manager jumped in then. "This isn't a schoolyard threat made because you stole someone's girlfriend. Or- whatever," he said, fumbling a little-- as he always did-- when he said something thoughtless and remembered that James was gay afterwards. That being said, James definitely had stolen some girlfriends at school because it was the best approximation he could get for what attraction to women was. "These are extremely conservative people who want you dead and aren't shy about showing they're serious," the team manager continued. "Even if they don't manage to kill you, they could permanently injure you, effectively ending your career. Is that what you want?" 

James huffed, knowing that he was being a little petulant and not caring. "No," he admitted. If he'd been just talking to his mates, he never would've admitted it, but they'd all gotten together to sit him down and make sure he listened to them; they wouldn't have bothered if they weren't seriously concerned. 

"Then get a goddamn bodyguard," Coach said. "It won't be forever-- just until these people realise they have better things to do with their time than harass a popular footballer." 

"Fine." If James had known it would be this much trouble to come out, he wouldn't have done it. He'd just been thinking that he might like to date someone for real. He'd also thought about himself when he was younger and how he could've figured out that he fancied men before he was twenty sodding three if one of his favourite footie players had been gay (and out. He wasn't discounting the idea entirely just because they hadn't said anything.). "I don't know where to find one though." 

"We've got a list of possibilities," someone else said, handing James a sheet of paper-- for the life of him, James couldn't remember what she did, but in his defense, he'd only met her once as an introduction and then seen her in passing at the past six years of holiday parties. On the paper was a list of agencies, their websites, and phone numbers to contact them. There wasn't any mention of price, but it's not like James was pressed for cash or anything. Hell, he'd already reached his lifetime savings amount and didn't really know what to do with the salary he was still getting. Might as well use some of it to stay safe and pacify his bosses. 

*

James had weighed all his options and looked at all of the information he'd been given, and he still couldn't decide. He'd handed the list to Remus, and he'd picked one at random; James took his choice as a good decision and called the company up. They made everything so easy for him that he was beginning to think Remus had special choosing powers. From now on, James was going to run his decisions by Remus before doing anything. 

And then he actually met his bodyguard. He couldn't decide if this was better than before, or worse. Either way, he didn't think asking Remus for advice would really be the way that he wanted for his life to go. 

He was told that his bodyguard's name was Sirius, and they had a first meeting at the company to sort out a few details. If James was a smart person, he would've taken one look at Sirius and said, "Thanks but no thanks, can I get someone else?" But James wasn't smart. He was a dumbarse. A dumbarse that let his heart make decisions for him. Sirius was, in a word, gorgeous. He had a face that looked like it belonged on the cover of a magazine, and a smile that stopped James's breath in its tracks. He was sure that Sirius was good at his job, but James rather doubted his decision to accept him as a bodyguard. He wasn't going to be able to focus for shite. 

James explained the situation to Sirius-- the boring stuff, about why he needed a bodyguard-- and he didn't blink at him being bent. Either he already knew that because he followed football, he didn't care, or he cared but was a very good actor. James imagined that there was a certain amount of acting as a bodyguard, but he'd also like to think that Sirius wouldn't have accepted if it bothered him. 

James had been afraid that Sirius was going to walk slightly to the side and behind him and stay resolutely silent the whole time, but he carried a conversation alright as they walked to James's car. "I'm sure you get this all the time and you're annoyed with it, but why's your name Sirius?" 

The look on Sirius's face showed that he was very much used to the question, even though he didn't look annoyed by it. "Named after the star in Canis Major. Being named after stars is sort of a family thing." 

"Really?" James asked. He was instantly charmed. Sirius hadn't even put much effort into it, but James was head over heels after exchanging two words with him. 

"Mmhmm. My brother's Regulus, my father and great-grandfather were both Orion, and I've got a cousin named Bellatrix." 

"Wow. Your family must've been made fun of a lot when they were kids." 

Sirius snorted, and James looked at him curiously. 

"What?" 

"I wouldn't call any of us... well-behaved children. Got in a lot of fights." 

"Ah, and it led to you being a bodyguard?" 

Sirius shrugged with an easygoing smirk. "Might as well do something you're good at, right?" 

*

"It's total rubbish that they're putting McLaggen in before you," Sirius said one day after practice. 

"Right?" Then he paused. Sirius hadn't been around long enough to be so certain of that. Which meant, "I knew you were a fan. Why didn't you say anything?" 

"I didn't want to freak you out. You're dealing with enough right now that I didn't want for you to worry about your bodyguard fawning over you." 

"Aww, you fawn over me?" James asked, unable to help a pleased smile. 

"It's called knowing who the best is," Sirius said with a wink. 

*

"You don't get along with your brother?" James asked. Personally, he didn't have any siblings, but from what he understood, those relationships were often complicated. Lily, for example, cared about her sister even though-- as far as James could tell-- she was kind of an irredeemable twat that didn't seem to like Lily at all. 

Sirius shrugged. "He wants to like our parents, but now that he disagrees with them on everything, it's not easy. I keep telling him that his life would be easier if he stopped talking to them, but he feels all guilty about it." He rolled his eyes expressively. "I think he thinks that he owes them for them not being worse." 

"You both should get new parents," James said. "I volunteer my own." 

"I think you stop needing new parents when you're an adult." 

"Words that can only be spoken by someone with shite parents. Maybe you don't need parents anymore, but if Regulus is still trying to connect with them, it means he needs someone. My parents are great. Mum will probably see him smile once and then demand he come to Saturday night dinners for the next ten years." 

Sirius snickered. 

"Oh, I'm not joking," James insisted. "Lily and I haven't been together since we were eighteen, and she still comes over for dinner when she can make it." 

"Only you would be on such great terms with your ex that your parents would do that." 

"Bold of you to assume my parents wouldn't have done it whether we were on good terms or not. They blood adore her, and that didn't stop because we weren't dating anymore. I swear, they love every single friend I let them meet. If I introduced them to your brother? He wouldn't make it out of that house without them knowing his favourite dessert. He wouldn't stand a chance." 

"Maybe that's what he needs," Sirius said, sounding amused. "We'll have to set that up when this all blows over." 

*

James's first problem with Sirius had been that he was so gorgeous James couldn't think for shite. His second problem with Sirius was that he was an attractive person all around, not just in his face. Honestly, who had decided that someone should get to be that pretty and also be that funny? It wasn't fair to the rest of humanity. 

He'd never been shy, so he told Sirius that he fancied him shortly after figuring it out. Thinking a bloke was fit as hell was one thing. Actually fancying him was quite another. People were fit all the time, and James had never lost sleep over it. He knew he'd regret it if he sat around and pined after Sirius uselessly though. 

He told Sirius, and Sirius looked at him for a second, then blinked. "Erm. James, I can't- I could get fired for dating a client." 

"Right." That made sense. "I hadn't thought of that." He really hadn't thought about it, but who'd want to hire a bodyguard that had a history of hooking up with who they were protecting? Hell, the company could get looked into for solicitation if it happened often enough. If James had thought of that, he would've kept his mouth shut until the end of Sirius's employment with him. "Just... y'know, if you were interested, I'm probably not going to need a bodyguard for much longer." He'd checked back in with the admin team, and they'd said that by next year, he should be good. New information was popping up on people that James's despisers hated more, so they were starting to leave him alone. At least, that's what he'd gotten from the conversation even if it wasn't entirely accurate. 

"I know," Sirius said with half a smile. "I was there for that conversation, remember?" 

"I'd forgotten," James admitted, a little ashamed. He wasn't the best at paying attention to several things at once when he really cared about one of them more than the others. In that case, he ended up thinking about the one thing and trying desperately to pay attention to the rest. That day, he was pretty sure he'd been so focused on getting his life back to normal that he'd ignored Sirius, and even the talk about their upcoming game. 

*

"Bloody hell," Sirius said, one arm around James as he half-carried, half-guided him down the street so they could catch a cab. "I signed up to be your bodyguard, not your designated driver." Despite his complaining, he didn't sound upset, more amused. 

"You could be both," James said slowly, having to put more effort into his words than usual since he was sloshed. He preferred speaking Hindi when he was pissed; it was just easier than English. He didn't think Sirius knew Hindi though, and the only thing he wanted right now was to enjoy Sirius's company. 

Sirius laughed. "Maybe so, but I preferred just doing one." 

"Heeeey, you could do the partner thing soon." 

"I don't remember mentioning a partner thing." 

James licked his lips as he tried to remember what the phrase he'd first used was. "Designated driver. Only, instead of just dragging me to a car, we'd be getting sloshed together." 

"That does sound more fun." 

James was always talkative, but now that he was sloshed, he wasn't stopping. He really liked Sirius. He liked him for lots of reasons, but right now he liked that Sirius was encouraging him. He wasn't getting mad at James for continuing to talk all through the cab ride, or as he helped him up the stairs to his flat. "You're so wonderful," James mumbled. 

"Thanks," Sirius said with a laugh. He fished around James's pockets for his keys. James turned and rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, which did make it easier, but somehow he thought that wasn't what James had had in mind. 

"You're so pretty," he said, turning his face into Sirius's neck. 

"Thanks," he said again. "It's nice to be appreciated." 

"In all my life, I've never met someone that made me feel like you do," James said. 

"I don't know what you just said, but I'm going to assume it was complimentary." 

James nodded. He kissed Sirius's neck because it was there. "The prettiest damn thing I've ever seen." 

Sirius swallowed thickly. He didn't need to understand the language to know that whatever James said was something he would appreciate. The kiss sent tingles down his spine, and James's mouth was still resting close enough to him that Sirius could feel his breath hot against his skin. "As much as we would enjoy that, I thought we agreed to wait." 

"You're right. You're just so pretty," he whined. "It's really not fair. You should try to be less pretty; it would make my life easier." 

"You can live with it," Sirius said. He finally found the keys and put it in the door for him. He unlocked it and pushed the door open. James looked pretty comfy where he was, and it made shuffling him inside his flat a bit harder than getting him here had been. "C'mon mate, you've got to get in bed." 

"But you're not there," James said, sounding awfully petulant about it. 

Sirius chuckled. "No, but you'll get to sleep just fine without it." 

"That's what you think." 

"Love, you're drunk enough that you'll definitely pass out before the night's through." 

"Aww, you called me 'love'. No one's ever done that before." 

"Really?" 

James nodded again, but since he wasn't leaning on Sirius as heavily this time, he swayed a little. Sirius was still right next to him though, so he was able to keep him from falling over. "My last boyfriend called me 'babe' but I sort of hated it." 

"You do seem like you'd prefer the sweeter pet names. Sweetheart, things like that." 

"Feel free to call me sweetheart as much as you want." 

"I think I will. After I stop working on protecting you, that is. We've still got to wait, remember?" 

"What I remember is issuing an invitation that never got an answer." 

"I assumed you knew my answer. Or was I not obvious enough about my interest?" Sirius asked quietly. 

"I would say that subtlety passes me by," James said. "But I got it now, thanks. You sure I can't convince you to stay?" 

"Not while I'm working for you, and definitely not while you're sloshed." Sirius brought him to his room and took off his shoes when he collapsed back on the bed. "If you want to get undressed more, you're going to have to do it yourself, sweetheart," he said, then kissed James's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

*

The day for James to no longer need a bodyguard felt like it took forever, but he could grudgingly admit that it had been a good idea. None of it had been serious, but he was told-- by Sirius-- that that's because having a bodyguard was often a large deterrent. In his time as James's bodyguard, Sirius successfully intimidated several people and got physical with one. James would be lying if he said that it hadn't been hot to watch, but he also wasn't going to say that out loud-- it made him feel like he was the heroine in a teen adventure book. 

"So, do I have to take you on a date before I get to kiss you?" James asked. 

"I wouldn't want you to think I'm easy," Sirius replied with a wink. 

"You like curry? I know a good place." 

Sirius made a face. "I only like it from one restaurant, and it's all the way up in Wales." 

"Wait," James said slowly, a smile creeping across his face, "are you talking about Andi's?" 

"Yes, you know it?" 

"Bloody love it. I can't make the trip as much as I want, but if you're willing, we can definitely go up there." 

"I can think of worse things than spending time with you on the way to the best curry in the UK," Sirius said. 

*

James rented a car because it was easier than taking a cab that far, and it was definitely more private than a train-- which would only be able to take them part of the way anyhow. He wanted for them to be alone anyways, so that they could catch up on all the flirting they'd missed. Not to say that there had been a drought of flirting while Sirius was his bodyguard, but after they agreed to date when his contract was up, they'd tried to tone it down. 

They didn't have to worry about that anymore. 

The drive was okay, dinner was great, and Sirius snogged him for a bit after they got back in the car but before they drove back to London. 

"How the hell do you feel even better than you look?" James whispered, stealing another kiss. 

Sirius chuckled. "I was about to ask you the same question, love." 

[halictus-writer]

Welcome to Seattle (Ch. 2 of 5)

The next week went by smoothly. Remus had gotten into a familiar routine with his new job, and became more friendly with his colleagues who also wrote for the newspaper. He had always had a tough exoskeleton, but it didn’t take too long to become comfortable enough to let some of his walls down for a few select coworkers. In stark contrast to his friends from college, these coworkers did not press him for details about his dating-- or as James more bluntly put it, sex-- life. In any case, both were nonexistent.

*James changed the name of the chat to “Operation get Remus laid”*

James: Alright, here we go. Remus, are you ready to read some wisdom coming from yours truly?

*Remus removed James from the chat*

The truth was, Remus wasn’t opposed to getting back out there. The only drawback was that he didn’t know how to get back out there. His relationship with his ex had started organically, with little effort on Remus’s part. And being in a serious relationship for so long had saved him from having to learn how to flirt and casually date new people.

*Lily changed the name of the chat to “Help Remus get back out there, if he wants to”*

*Lily added James to the chat*

James: Alright Remus, you’ve had a chance to get all settled down in your new place, but now it is time to wake up and smell the coffee

Lily: What James means, Remus, is that we think you should maybe try to re-enter the dating scene. Only if you feel ready, of course.

Remus: is this an intervention?

Lily: no

James: yes

Dorcas: ooh are we voting? Marlene is driving so she can’t text but we both vote yes

James: Remus. My son. Fruit of my loins. You are a total catch. It is time for you to take your beautiful face out from behind those sad Jane Austen novels I know you’re rereading every night and get your freak on

Remus: I appreciate your investment in my sex life, I really do, but I think I’m doing fine.

Remus: also you’re not my dad. I’m older than you by five months

James: Oh really? Let’s play a game where you say True or False to each statement I make.

Remus: Fine. But only until my lunch break ends

James: Here’s the first one: My name is Remus Lupin

Remus: ...true

James: My favorite food is chocolate.

Remus: true

James: The most recent time I had sex was within the last 2 months

*Remus removed James from the chat*

Remus spent the rest of his lunch break walking through Pike Place Market. He loved the lively atmosphere of the place, and mentally mapped out the places he would like to spend more time in, in the future. No longer constrained by a vacation schedule, he can see as many shops and stores in Seattle as he would like.

He also sent pictures of the most interesting areas to the friend group via Snapchat. Having multiple avenues of communication proved to be very helpful for a group of people as prone to theatrics as they were. Any arguments or disagreements could stay in whatever platform they originated in, and if people were (temporarily) removed from that platform, they would still have access to another. This unspoken agreement allowed the group to plan James and Lily’s upcoming visit on Snapchat, while Remus kept up his faux-anger at James’s nosiness in the messages app. Remus knew he would tell them everything when he saw them in person, but being ambushed with the topic on a Tuesday while he was at work was not his preferred arena.

***

Saturday morning found the group reunited at a breakfast nook within the Market. Remus sat next to Lily in one booth, opposite Dorcas and Marlene, while James sat in a wooden chair on one end. Remus appreciated that his friends made sure their seating configuration didn’t highlight his own status as the fifth wheel.

After catching up on everyone’s lives, and many pointed glances directed at James from customers who evidently didn’t want to hear the piercing falsetto James used when reenacting conversations with Lily’s sister, the conversation found its way back to Remus’s dating life.

“Remus, you’re a catch and a half. It’s been a few months since your relationship ended, and it may be time to get back out there.” Lily started.

“It’s true,” Marlene added, nodding, “if I weren’t dating Dorcas I would be all over you and your wool cardigan. Almost makes me forget I’m a lesbian.” She laughed as she dodged a light flick from Dorcas.

“If you were a woman I’d totally sleep with you.” James said sincerely.

“Uh oh, misogynistic comment tax!” Dorcas swept in and took a piece of bacon from his plate before dividing it between Lily and herself. “For the vegetarian,” she made a half bow gesture from her seat as she presented Marlene with a liberated strawberry.

“Um, thank you for the votes of confidence, I think,” Remus began. “I appreciate it, I really do, well maybe not what James said, but I’ll admit defeat. I have been thinking about getting back into the dating scene.”

“A-ha!” James shouted, gesturing his final piece of bacon towards Remus. “The man is smelling the coffee. I can see it, he’s smelling it.”

“But,” Remus said softly, hoping that his reduced volume would subtly encourage James to be quieter as well, “I don’t really know how to meet people. I mean, we’re not in school anymore.”

“It isn’t easy, but you are in a much bigger city now,” Lily reasoned, “so theoretically your dating pool is much larger.”

“And there’s all kinds of designated queer spaces here!” James added. “You can go to gay bars and stuff, right?”

“I would pay to see Remus at a gay nightclub,” Marlene said, laughing.

“I would pay to see Remus awake past nine PM,” Dorcas said, “and not because you’re finishing a book.”

“Okay, okay, thanks everybody. I appreciate it.” Remus said flatly.

“Alright, let’s reel it in. Point is, you can meet people organically here, and we’ll support you.” Lily said. After she gave pointed looks around the table, the others nodded, although James was still smiling. “We can switch the topic now, but you better plan on keeping us updated on all your dating endeavors.”

James continued to smile mischievously, and added “And all of your casual sex endeavors. I need to know the exact starting date of your post-breakup hoe-phase. Get on the dating apps! You’d be a beast on there.”

“No.” Remus and Lily said in unison.

Lily continued, “I think you’ll have better luck meeting people organically. Dating apps can be creepy.”

When Dorcas finally changed the topic by prompting Marlene to tell the story of the cat she swore was taking the bus by itself last week, Remus sighed in relief.

***

A few days after James and Lily’s visit, Remus and Dorcas met for coffee before work. Once they had gotten their iced coffees, and in Remus’s case, a giant brownie (he hadn’t been to the Italian restaurant in a few days, so it was well-earned), Dorcas began a monologue that could hold its own against one of James’s.

"Alright. We love James and Lily. We love their beautiful, heterosexual, suburban lives. I am in awe of their enchanting, heterosexual love story, and how they met heterosexually and organically in their Communications class, and how it must have been meant to be when James was late to class and took the only available seat, next to our heterosexual princess.”

Remus laughed in silence, trying not to choke on a bite of brownie.

“Their heterosexual hearts are in the right place. Their heterosexual advice is kindly meant. And yet!” Dorcas announced, punctuating with one pointer finger, “you’re gay!”

Remus, having just finished swallowing the brownie and mistakenly taken a sip of coffee, struggled to not spit it out.

“Dating apps can be weird, of course, but it’s so much easier to meet other queer people there, and not worry as much about hoping the person you flirt with isn’t going to be offended by your existence.”

“Fair point,” Remus said, consciously not eating or drinking until Dorcas was finished.

“Until they open an LGBTQ+ bookstore coffee shop combo, which they totally should, and you would totally thrive in, you should get on Tinder."

Somehow Remus blushed at that, despite being a twenty-six year-old man who has dated before.

Dorcas called him on his blush, and laughed. “You are the most wholesome person I know, it’s too adorable. I won’t make you talk about it in public if it’s embarrassing, but just consider it.”

Remus agreed to do so, but secretly considered the pros and cons of staying single forever. Making a dating profile sounded anxiety-inducing.

***

When Remus walked through the doors of the Italian restaurant for the third time, he instantly felt a little better, as if his brain was already beginning to associate the place with the healing effects of the pizza he would soon be eating.

He had been feeling a little down this afternoon, with his thoughts often gravitating back towards his ex. He considered reaching out to one of his friends, since he knew they would be more than happy to talk him through it, but decided that a little alone time would do him good. Besides, he hadn’t eaten margherita pizza in over a week. It was time to indulge.

Looking up from his booth, he was momentarily surprised to find Sirius standing right in front of him, ready to take his order. Sirius hadn’t been working during Remus’s most recent visit, and Remus tried not to stare at the wavy pieces of hair framing his face, the rest tied back in place. Realizing that Sirius had spoken, Remus tried to regain composure.

“Hi, um, sorry, what was that?” So much for composure, Remus thought.

Sirius smiled warmly, holding eye contact. “You’re good. I just asked what I can get started for you today.” He added a little gesture to the pen and notepad he was holding.

“Oh, um, one small margherita pizza, please. And some water would be great, too.”

“Coming right up!” Sirius announced, and turned towards the kitchen. Remus pointedly looked away from the view, reminding himself that he was here to feel sad, not lustful. But, then again, maybe the latter would help him get over the former. Either way, his spirits were already lifting.

When Sirius returned carrying a beautifully steaming pizza, Remus was ready to devour it. He was also ready to speak words to Sirius like a normal person, having mentally rehearsed “Thank you, this looks great.” a hundred times.

“Thanks, you look great!” Remus expressed, looking at Sirius. His blush immediately materialized. “Wait, oh god. Sorry–”

Sirius laughed, “No worries! People tell me ‘you too’ when I tell them to enjoy their food, like, at least once a shift. You’re in good company.”

Remus smiled and felt a little more relaxed. “Thanks.”

Sirius shuffled for a second, looking like he had more to say, before saying “Well, enjoy your pizza!”

“You too!” Remus said, in mock sincerity. They both laughed.

***

When Sirius brought the check, he also dropped off a piece of tiramisu. “It’s for you!” He said, smiling and already walking away, as Remus tried to protest.

Remus ate about forty percent of the cake, mentally focusing intensely on the next plot point in his novel. Eventually, the soggy texture overpowered his desire to appear grateful for the free dessert, and he left the restaurant quietly when Sirius stepped back into the kitchen, away from sight.

[maraudingforflesh]

Wolfstar recs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56972

For Whom the Pants Toll (4,973 words); Remus gets outed by charmed underwear

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19155547

Desperate Measures (6,384 words); Remus accidentally calls Sirius love and James won’t stop giving them shit so obviously they have to fake date

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954927/chapters/18192916

You Wouldn't Hex Your Boyfriend (16,709 words); Remus wants to get an ex off his back so he blurts out that he’s dating Sirius and the whole thing spirals from there

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344203/chapters/25387245

The Dog You Feed (100,665 words); Sirius is kicked out of his house for real and only lily evans is available to take care of him

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12829314/chapters/29290923

Do I Wanna Know? (25,076 words); the marauders meet on the platform after summer is over and Remus got hot and now Sirius is in crisis

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5102957

Forever (20,186 words); youtuber!au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411271

No matter what (You're always my brother) (3,037 words); the wolfstar is lowkey but like the James and Sirius brotherly content is just so damn good

[blahblahblippyblah]

The Marauders, His Dark Materials AU where they all have daemons

Context:in this universe your soul manifest itself as an animal (or daemon) that cannot leave your side. It is part of you and you are part of it. When you are young your daemon can change shape but once you become an adult and figure out who you are it choses a form that represents who you truely are and will stay like that till you both die.

***

James growing up wants his daemon Bahaadur to settle as a Lion, just like Godric Gryffindor his hero. So Bahaadur is always usually in the shape of a lion when James is trying to show off, act brave, or be mischievous. The downside is that Bahaadur can't seem to grow a mane and doesn’t look super impressive without it. Other times Bahaadur is a Kestrel, especially when James is playing Quidditch. But occasionally when James is just hanging out and being himself all relaxed Bahaadur is a young stag without antlers.

When they get into year 3 they meet a new DADA professor who is an ex Auror whose deamon settled as a large elk. James looks up to him so much since he's such a great professor and is super brave. So, James gets more comfortable with Bahaadur being more stag. He also starts embracing being less arrogant with this revelation in 5th year and Bahaadur starts growing these huge antlers. When he's 15 Bahaadur settles as huge graceful stag with huge antlers, much to the dismay of his roommates.

Bahaadur gets in the way a lot in the dorm especially since James starts using him as a laundry holder. Bahaadur doesn't mind though and seems obviously to how much space he takes up. Bahaadur also has a habit of running into thing, stepping on other daemons, or tripping whenever Lily and her Daemon are around. Sirius thinks this is hilarious.

Sirius' Daemon is initially named Pudicitiam, but Sirius calls him Puddle because he hates the name Pudicitiam. The Black’s choose the names for their children’s daemons which isn't how the rest of the world really works. When Sirius runs into James on the Hogwarts Express, he decides to quickly rename his daemon to Fidèle and feels free to let him stay as a black dog like he wants to be. When he starts calling his Daemon that at home it upsets his family, but after his first year Sirius doesn't care what they think and he starts to rebel.

The Blacks also have a weird tradition of their daemons always settling as snakes, something they're very proud of. The Blacks believe having snakes as daemons means you are intelligent and ambitious, and of proper blood. This comes from a belief in pureblood families that only powerful wizards have snake daemons, the most powerful being Salazar Slytherin whose daemon was a Basilisk. Sirius' father's is a green anaconda, his uncle Cygnus' was a Black Water Snake, his grandfather's was an Inland Taipan, Bellatrix's was a Pit Viper, Narcissa's was an albino Corn Snake she kept tight around her neck like a choker, Andromeda's was a tiny Hognose snake, and uncle Alphard's was a Ball Python. His mother was a King Cobra that he was super scared of growing up.

Before Sirius went to Hogwarts he made sure Fidèle was always a small King Snake around his parents. When he was alone Fidèle was usually a small furry black dog. When he would lose control of his emotions in front of his parents Fidèle would change from snake to dog which would upset his mom a lot and she would punish him for not being a proper Black. Her snake would strike his daemon until it bled and he begged her to stop or he was able to calm down enough to turn it back to a snake. By the time he ran away Fidèle wouldn't take it anymorr and would try and fight back. He left when his dad's anaconda tried to suffocate Fidèle when his mothers means didn't work and Fidèle settled as a dog.

Sirius was the first of his friends to have his daemon settle (4th year) into a big black grim like dog. He was also the first Black not to have a coming of age celebration since his family was embarrassed and upset about it's form.

Bahaadur often steps on Fidèle’s tail early in the morning when James is trying to get ready and Sirius and Fidèle are still sleepy and laying around.

Fidèle is super playful and often when he gets bored will start to try and bug other people’s daemons playfully.

Regulus' daemon Nobella eventually settles as a small Smooth Green Snake, which his parents rejoiced at.

Peter’s daemon is named Aspecta she often changes between a rat and a racoon. Aspecta is great at sneaking around in rat form so Peter is often made to be the look out during pranks and such. She is also great at sneaking food out of the kitchen in racoon form which is super useful. She helps Peter notice things other often don’t because she is good at sneaking around and spying, but she is also a cowards to likes to hide in his clothes often.

Remus’ daemon is named Ileuad. She appeared right after he was bitten by Greyback when he was 3. She is usually in the form of a cotton tail which Remus keeps close and cuddles with all the time, especially when reading in front of the fire. She also takes the form of a Tawny owl, especially when he gets excited about learning and magic. She’s a great partner since she often helps him research and study. However, when the moon gets closer Ileuda takes the form of a wolf much to his displeasure. The closer it is to the full the harder it is for him to calm down and concentrate and make her take the form of a cotton tail.  This frustrates him a lot since he feels it’s a cruel twist if fate for him to constantly be reminded of his condition. He’s also worried her being a wolf might give himself away. Closer to the moon Ileuda also loses her temper, which isn’t something she ever does any other time, and will openly growl and bare her teeth at people’s daemons who bug him.

As he gets closer to the age a daemon settles Remus get super upset because Ileuda spends more and more time as a wolf, and he really doesn’t want her to settle as a wolf. He is the last one of his friends to have his daemon settle in 6th year. She settles as a cotton tail though, but only once Remus accepts that the wolf will always be part of him even if his daemon isn’t one.

Lily’s daemon is named Curant. She often transforms between a Monarch Butterfly and a Mourning Dove. When she gets older her daemon starts to shift more toward being a doe. This really starts to happen when she starts to see how muggleborns are treated. She feels the doe gives her more presence and courage to stand tall. When her daemon finally settles as a doe she mourns a little about the butterfly as she sees it as herself losing her childhood innocence.  

Snape’s deamon named Potio shifts between a ribbon snake and a Little Brown bat. Potio is usually a snake when around other Slytherins who are usually pure-blooded and thus try and keep snake daemons or around people like James and Sirius, but is a bat with lily. She settles as a bat the day he calls her a Mudblood and ruins their friendship forever. James and Sirius also see Snape’s snake daemon as a sign he is evil when they first meet him, especially since unlike Sirius he is proud of it.

Other character’s daemons.

Euphemia Potter: A Swan named Sahaanubhooti or Hooti for short (F)

Fleamont Potter: A Tiger named Raksha (M)

Hope Lupin: Plymouth Rock Chicken hen named Meithrin (F)

Lyall Lupin: Northern Saw-whet owl named Doctrina (F)

Professor McGonagall: Tabby Cat named Verto (M)

Dumbledore: Fawkes the Phoenix (F)

Horace Slughorn: A Walrus named Oratio. Slughorn has a giant comfy silk bed for her in his office and classroom and she sleeps most of the day. He also has a floating charm on her so she can propel herself forwards easier to follow him around. (F)

Petunia Dursley: A Rosy Maple Moth named Estus (F)

Professor Flitwick: A Goldfinch named Lepor (Unknown M or F)

Lucius Malfoy: A Peacock named Ditiae (F)

Ted Tonks: A Bumblebee named Aeque (F)

Godric Gryffindor: A Lion named Cor (M)

Salazar Slytherin: A Basilisk named Sanguine (F)

Helga Hufflepuff: A Badger named Mel (F)

Rowena Ravenclaw: A Eagle named Ingenii (M)

In this world Animagus don’t exists and neither do Horcruxs’. However, there are two types of new magic that have to do with daemons. The first is called Tactusing which is when you can learn how to go further from your daemon than you normally could. It involves being very connected with your daemon and being honest with yourself. Know super powerful Tacters are Dumbledore, Merlin, Grindelwald, all 4 founders, and supposedly Voldemort, who can send their daemons very far away from themselves. The second is soul melting which is when you can go into the mind of your daemon and share its body. This too involved being close to your daemon. Not many people can soul melt and soul melders. The third is called animasectus or masectusing which is when you sever the link with your daemon so you can live forever (like a Horcrux). To separate your daemon this way you need to kill someone else daemon with your bare hands (which is super taboo).

Touching other people’s daemons is also considered inappropriate and taboo. Very few people ever feel comfortable even touching their loved one’s daemons and is often only done for people who are soulmates.

James, Sirius and Peter all learn how to Tact and Soul melt so that they can use their daemons to keep Remus company during the full moon. Before then Ileauda would try and stop Remus from getting hurt but wasn’t very good at it and got hurt a lot. If she was a rabbit right before he turned during the full moon, he would lock her in a trunk to make sure she was safe. After his friends learn these skills he doesn’t have to lock her away any more.

[ashes-and-ashes]

Prompt: 55 -'I'm not jealous' + Wolfstar = 💜💜 P.S I really love your works 💖

Hey! So, after finishing That Fateful Night, I decided to do a story revolving around The Prank. This is sort of a practice, beta-test for an idea I have for the story, so I hope you like it!!

tw for depressing and sucidical thoughts

~

Hatred

He hated Sirius.

Hated him, with every inch, every fiber, every strand of his body.

He hated every lock of hair that escaped his tangled bun, those familiar grey eyes, the haughty face.

Yes, Remus hated Sirius. And for a damn good reason too.

He can barely remember that night, the night everything changed. He remembered that the transformation had been relatively easy, relatively painless. He can remember the last conscious thought that passed through his mind: Tonight may not be so bad after all.

Then he woke up, James’ blood covering his body, Sirius’ face pale above his as he pleaded for Remus to listen. Snape found out. I...told him.

And that was when Remus stopped caring. Started hating. 2 months later and the pain still hadn’t stopped.

He loathed himself, sometimes, after he saw the effects of what his hatred did to Sirius. He was withering away, a silent shell of what he once was, sunken cheeks and chapped skin and hollow eyes. There were new scars on his body, though he hadn’t returned home after he ran away, blood in his knuckles and on his lips, bruised ribs and necks and cheekbones. He was so quiet now, so silent, always slipping out of the room whenever James or Peter or Remus entered, not returning to his bed until long after the sun set.

Peter had asked him, 3 weeks after the Prank, when Remus was at his lowest point. Did he matter? That much, to you?

Remus had shrugged, tying to hide the misery he felt. I don’t know. We knew it couldn’t last forever. But... I loved him. I thought he did too. It was something, and then it was nothing and now... now I don’t know.

It was funny, the way the dynamics had shifted, had decayed. Sirius was a part of them, of all of them, and his absence felt like a hole, ripping through Remus. It was hard, sometimes, to ignore what they used to be, those old habits that they had grown up with.

He’s woken up too many times to stifled sobs, knows that if he pulled back the curtains, Sirius would be there, biting his lip to keep back the screams. The nightmares never ended, though Remus never came to comfort Sirius now. Neither did Sirius, when the panic attacks came, when all James and Peter could do was awkwardly pat Remus’ back and hope he didn’t choke. It had gone both ways, the desperation, opened up new wounds.

But at the same time, he knows Sirius, knows what he’s capable of. Knows that Sirius has always had his traumas, and that he was more then capable of ending it all one day. And though Remus hated Sirius, but he didn’t want him dead.

So, he takes James’ cloak, follows Sirius out on those days he slipped off silently before dawn. He watches him, wandering aimlessly around the school, up to the astronomy towers and down to the lakes, an echoing, hopeless journey. He would trail him, silently, making sure that Sirius didn’t decide to throw himself off the tower or drown himself.

It’s one of those days, evening, when he catches Sirius slipping out of the common room. Normally, he would have ignored it, would have let him go wherever he wanted to, but there’s a look in Sirius’ eyes that makes Remus pause. It’s empty, fragile and broken, like shattered glass on a concrete floor and Remus is following him out the door almost instantly. Sirius is walking, in some large circle, passing windows and archways until finally, he arrives outside.

There’s a small corner there, a junction between two stone walls, and Sirius slumps down against it as Remus frantically finds somewhere to hide. He perches on some rock, out of sight in case someone brushed past him and watches Sirius.

He looks awful. His hair was limp, hanging around his face in a tangled mess. His lips were scabbed, bleeding slightly where he bit them and he was so thin now, thin enough that his collarbone stood out against the rest of his chest. A piece of rock, battered by the wind and water and sand, smoothing down the hard edges until there was only a small piece of curved stone. There was a frail look to him, like he could shatter any moment, and Remus’ heart aches.

He doesn’t know how long they sit there for. The night is warm, the wind cool on his face, and he lets himself lean against the pillar behind his back, stretching his legs out. It feels strange doing this, without Sirius’ comforting weight at his side, an absence like a missing limb. It’s almost painful, not having anyone to lean on, and Remus closes his eyes.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep when he hears the footsteps.

Light and casual, almost mocking, and Sirius’ eyes snap open as Snape rounds the corner. There’s a smirk on his face, arrogant and smug, and Sirius bares his teeth. “Fuck off.”

Snape shrugs. “Careful, Black. I clearly have the advantage here.”

Sirius glares at him. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean.” Snape picks at his nails, his face a mask of calm. “One little slip and I could let your boyfriend’s little...secret out to all my friends.”

Sirius grits his teeth. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore. You saw to that.”

Snape laughs, mockingly. “Oh, well. If you tell anyone exactly how I saw to that...well. I suppose your ex’s little secret comes out then.”

“Fuck. Off.”

Snape just chuckles, leaning against the wall. “Language. Seeing as you basically have to do what I say for the next little bit.”

Sirius flips him off, seething as Snape smirks. “I wonder how your little friends would react,” he muses, “seeing as their closest friend is a filthy half-breed.”

Sirius flinches. “God, Snape. You’re just doing this because of Lily?”

For the first time, Snape flushes, his face turning an ugly crimson. “I never said that.”

There’s that little bit of the old Sirius coming back, the arrogance and the righteousness, the Sirius that Remus fell in love with so long ago. He leans against the wall, the cockiness filling his voice as he smirks. “You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face. You’re risking destroying someone else’s life, risking revealing his inner secrets to everyone just because you want to get Lily to go out with you?”

“Shut up!” Snape hisses, and Sirius throws back his head and laughs. “Well, regardless. She gave up on you a long time ago, Snivellus. James is....was one of my best mates - I heard her talk about you. Absolutely loathed your skinny guys for what you called her, what you did to others like her. And I don’t think she’s going to give a damn about Remus, not when there are shitballs like you around.”

Remus recognizes what Sirius is doing. He’s takin all of his hurt, those ugly, broken bits inside of him, projecting them outwards in an attempt to hurt Snape. It’s working - Snape growls, staking towards Sirius, who holds his ground. “Filthy half-breeds! Lily deserves to be associated with higher class members of society rather then some poor, Half-animal -“

“You’re just jealous.” Sirius’ voice is merciless. “Jealous, because she will never love you, because she is happy with James. And it kills you, because you are obsessed with her, you want to possess her because no one else can have her and - “

“I’m not jealous.” Snape spits the words out. “And besides, what do you know? Your boyfriend is a freak - you two belong together, deserve each other, the traitorous queer and the goddamn werewolf - “

“You’re wrong.” Sirius sounds defeated, the heartbreak in his voice so raw that Remus’ heart clenched. “I don’t deserve Remus. He’s...” Sirius shakes his head. “He deserves someone else. Someone better. Someone who’s a little less broken, a little stronger. Someone who doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night because their back aches from Crucio.” He lets out a merciless laugh. “So, you’re wrong. We don’t deserve each other. I don’t deserve Remus. He deserves a lot more then me.” He glances up, glaring into Snape’s eyes. “But I was trying. I tried, so damn hard, to be that person that Remus needed. And you took that way from me.” He spits on the ground in front of Snape. “So go. Keep lusting after Lily. She will never love you.”

Snape backs away, his face crimson. “You’re wrong. She will.”

Sirius just shrugs. “Don’t count on it, Snivellus.”

Remus follows him back, towards the dorms, his head spinning rapidly. A phrase keeps echoing in his mind, picked out from the rest of that conversation. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore. You saw to that.”

You saw to that. The words spin around in his head, an endless noise. You saw to that.

Remus just grits his teeth, racing up the stairs to the dormitory, shucking the cloak off and dumping it into James’ trunk. It could have been nothing. It could have been a misunderstanding.

But that night, when Remus heard the sobs, he didn’t turn away. He stood up, pulling his pajamas tighter around him and opened the curtains to Sirius’ bed.

[nifflersfancy]

The Runaway Groom - Chapter 3

"You can't keep living off of your family's money forever, sweetie." Lily spoke, putting a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder. They were all sat around the small dining room in Lily and James' flat, Sirius' credit cards and a pair of scissors on the table in front of them.

"Oh, come on... They've got so much money that they wouldn't even notice." Sirius huffed. 

"Yes but you'll know." James pointed out, sending Sirius a look that the other lad chose to ignore.

"Yes, and I will feel incredibly smug using their money to live the high life. Come on, I could buy an expensive car... You've always wanted a lambo, haven't you, Jamie? Lily, think of all of the presents I could buy you! You’ve always wanted to go to Rome, right? I could send you to Italy! You could see the Colosseum and you could go to that volcano thing that killed everyone that Bastille wrote the song about!  Whatever you wanted! I could pay your rent here! Pete, you still want that Pac-Man machine? Remus, think of all of the old books! Come on, you lot, I think we're missing a trick here!" Sirius pointed out, grinning as he saw that he had won his friends over. But Lily was behind him and he didn't realised that she wasn't on board until she felt a dainty hand slap the back of his head and then saw her do the same to the others.

"Stop it! You can't buy our friendship." Lily scolded with a frown, moving round and placing herself gently on James' lap. His arms went around her waist and settled instantly as if they belonged there.

"He can buy mine." Peter grumbled, rubbing the back of his head and mourning the loss of his Pac-Man machine. He had been so close. He wasn't fast enough to dodge Lily slapping him again. "Stop hitting me!" He squeaked. 

"Stop. Sirius needs to do this. Look, Pads..." It was rare for Lily to use his old nickname so it instantly got Sirius' attention and he looked up at her, giving her his full attention but still pouting. "You don't want to live off of their money. Surely it will feel so much more satisfying to be able to say that you did it all by yourself? You don't need them. Now come on." She spoke gently, picking up one of the cards and the pair of scissors, putting them in Sirius' hands.

He reluctantly took them and held the card between the scissors but made no move to actually do it. "Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut." The others began to chant. so with a wince, Sirius cut the card in half, letting out a shaky chuckle as they all erupted in cheers. Feeling encouraged by their cheers, he quickly cut up the other two and then cut the halves into halves several times until there was just lots of small pieces of plastic. He couldn't have matched them back up if he tried.

"Welcome to the real world!" Remus cheered, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "It sucks." He chuckled.

---

Sirius didn't look away from the television until the credits began to roll, and when he did, he noticed that everyone was asleep apart from him, James and Remus. Lily was draped over James' lap, her head tucked into the crook of his neck as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders, the other over her legs with a hand soothingly rubbing her thigh. Meanwhile Peter was spread out across the armchair, snoring loudly. Sirius and James were squished together on the same sofa as James and Lily, Sirius' legs over Remus' thighs as he leaned against the arm of the sofa. It was a bit of a squeeze but the comfort of everything feeling so normal and calm made Sirius feel at home. He hadn't really known home before but as he looked around, he realised what it felt like. 

He felt Remus shift, adjusting the blanket that was laid over their waist and looked over to see Remus reaching for the remote.

"Time for bed, I think." James whispered, moving his arm to under Lily's thighs, adjusting her slightly so that he could lift her. He kicked Peter's leg on his way to their bedroom and then nudged their door shut with his foot.

Peter woke with a snort and a flinch, looking around the room with sleepy eyes. "Wha's goin'on?" He mumbled, causing Sirius to chuckle deeply.

"Go to bed, Pete. It's nearly 1am. James and Lily have." Remus instructed with a fond smile, leaning his head back tiredly and taking long sleepy blinks. Clearly too tired to fight, Peter took a moment and then forced himself to stand up, stumbling out of the flat, going into the one opposite. Both men on the sofa laughed softly, seeing that Peter didn't even bother to shut either of the doors.

"Your flat is gonna get broken into one day, I swear." Sirius yawned, shifting slightly so that he was more sat beside Remus, resting his head on his shoulder. Remus shifted slightly as well but settled once he was more comfortable. 

"As long as he replaces everything that's stolen, I don't care. Our fridge is on its last leg anyway.. Been looking for an excuse to get Pete to buy a new one." Sirius didn't even need to look, he could hear the smirk in Remus' voice.

"Everyone thinks you're so bloody innocent and sensible." Sirius scoffed, shaking his head lightly, getting the remote control from the arm of the sofa on James' side and putting Love Actually on on Netflix. They had previously been watching Brooklyn Nine Nine but seeing how some of them had fallen asleep, they would probably have to repeat the last few episodes so that they were all caught up.

"Those poor, naive bastards." Remus tutted. "Hey, James and Lily had Oreo's. Speaking of bastards." He frowned, reaching over and picking up the bus that had previously been hidden.

"Ooh, can I have one?" Sirius questioned, looking over at the box.

"There's only one left." Remus frowned as he pulled the last Oreo out.

"You have it." They both said at the same time before they both let out nervous chuckles.

“Hey, we’ll split it.” Always the voice of reason, Remus said as he split it in half. He gave Sirius the half that had the most cream in it, knowing that the ex aristocrat had never had Oreo's up until recently and loved them but didn’t like the cookie as much as he did the cream.

“Thanks.” Sirius murmured with a soft smile, taking his half from Remus and taking a small bite out of it, wanting to savour it. “So what’s your deal, Remus?”

“My deal?” Remus questioned, frowning it confusion and tilting his head so that he got a better view of Sirius’ face. The other lad was looking right back up at him.  “What do you mean?”

“That sounded bad.” Sirius winced as he realised how Remus had taken his words. “I just… Look, you’re wonderful. You’re smart, funny, gorgeous, kind… You’re just.. Well, you’re perfect. I… I don’t understand why you’re single.” Sirius confessed, although he could no longer look Remus in the eye. It was word vomit. He didn’t know where the question had even come from but once he had started he couldn’t stop.

“Well, I… My last girlfriend, she-” Remus began but was cut off by a familiar voice speaking from the doorway.

“She what, Remus?” Both of them turned quickly at the new voice and Remus tensed upon seeing his ex girlfriend stood there.

“I told you not to come back here, Nymphadora.” Remus spoke, voice cold. Sirius almost flinched at it, completely taken by surprise at how it sounded. He didn’t even think that Remus was capable of sounding like that.

“I needed to talk to you and none of my calls would go through. It’s urgent.” She said, voice now sounding pleading but Remus didn’t even soften slightly.

“I blocked your phone number after you cheated on me with one of my students.” Remus and Tonks had been together for nearly two years when Remus found out about Tonks and Fleur, one of his students. That had been over two months since Sirius had showed up and in the three weeks spent with him, Remus almost felt whole again. But here Tonks was again, tearing his heart in two again. Although by the looks of things, Tonks had put on a bit of weight. He felt slightly smug about it, although he knew it was unfair.

“Please, I need to talk to you in private.” She practically begged. Sirius shifted to stand so that Remus and the strange purple-haired woman could be alone but Remus put a hand on his knee to stop him. Sirius couldn’t possibly deny that.

“I don’t want to hear it, Tonks. Get out.” He spoke slowly, clearly losing his patience.

“Remus, I’m pregnant.”

[I WAS TOO EXCITED TO WAIT TO POST THIS. Let me know what you guys think! As usual, this has not been spell checked or anything so if you notice any mistakes then please let me know nicely. If you're mean, I may cry. So let's not be dicks.]

[siriuslysnuffles]

Of Intimacy (Complete)

days eight, nine, and maybe ten of “27 days” will be posted tomorrow since I spent all day editing this, but here is the complete “Of Intimacy” series. 

Can be found on AO3 & FFN as well. 

prologue.

Intimacy doesn't mean sex. According to the dictionary it means a close familiarity or friendship; closeness. It means a private cozy atmosphere. It means an intimate act, but it doesn't have to mean sex. They're actions that show your affections for those close to your heart.

It's in these actions that Lily fell in love, she fell in love with friendships, some of them that weren't worth it, that would cause a piece of her heart to break despite everything that they had done (but she would always heal like broken hearts always do).

Some of them she would value until her death because they taught her what it meant to be loved without being placed on a pedestal, being loved without fear. That was the love she held in April and Sirius and Remus (and even Peter before his betrayal). They taught her what it meant to not have to seem perfect in order to be loved and respected. She didn't have to give reasons for her feelings, and she would forever be grateful for them.

Some of these friendships would blossom into more, a love so great that the universe felt inclined to draw them back to each other, over and over again (because at times it seemed like it was never meant to be) until the inevitable could no longer be avoided and that's what he was. James Potter was her great love and would be so for all eternity, and she his. He taught her what it meant to not settle for any one, to be given every single emotion that she gave out. She would never regret that, never regret him or Harry and the bond she formed with both her boys.

She'd never regret these acts of intimacy that she committed throughout her life. Forged in love and endurance.

i. of napping, a realisation.

'What are you doing,' Lily mumbled in confusion, turning in bed to face him with half-opened eyes before dropping her head to rest against his chest, his lips brushing the crown of her head softly.

'I was playing with your hair,' he murmured into it, the smile evident in the movement of his lips. 'It's a mess, Cariad.'

'You're one to talk,' she laughed, the sound softened by the feeling of her mouth against his skin; the vibration of it causing a shiver to go down his back. Gazing at her adoringly, he repositioned the fingers of his left hand into her hair in an attempt to untangle the unruly curls. She let out a content sigh before whispering, 'James?'

'Yeah?' His voice came out both sleepily and in awe, the tone that had only ever been reserved for Lily; his other hand pressing her even closer against him, settling on tracing up and down her spine leisurely.

Slightly lifting her head up off his chest, her eyes blinked slowly before rapidly closing as a small yawn escaped her. The action causing the ever-present butterflies in his stomach to flutter against every fibre of his being. 'I love you,' she uttered mid-yawn before snuggling into him.

He shifted the hand on her back to her right hip, giving it a gentle squeeze before breathlessly uttering,'Yeah?'

She sent him a smile that had he been standing would have had him falling face first but, because he wasn't, simply left him falling deeper in love with her. It was the kind of smile you would do anything to be on the receiving end of and left him even more convinced of the absolute control she had over him, the control he trusted her to never abuse.

Lily replied softly with a 'Yeah,' before drifting off to sleep shortly after; the fragment of the earth-shattering smile remaining on her face. It hadn't been the first time the couple had said, 'I love you,' but the effect those words had on him never ceased to amaze him. He decided then that he would go to the jewellers in the morning. His lovely girlfriend deserved everything he could give her and more, but he supposed he could start with a ring. Fondly placing another kiss on her head, he joined her in her nap, excited for a time when he will be able to wake up next to her for the rest of his life–even if she did hog the blankets.

ii. of the past part one, a misunderstanding?

A feeling of rejection overcame her as she remained alone while leant against the wall opposite Gryffindor Tower, shifting her weight from her left leg onto her right out of irritation. He was late, she sighed sadly, beginning to run her fingers through her hair only to stop mid-way with a small frown appearing on her face. He had never before been late when it came to her. Yet he was now, causing her heart to feel close to shattering at the thought of why he hadn't shown. She had come to the conclusion that he was interested, had been driven into believing so through his teasing words and wanton smiles, through rare blushes and careful touches. She didn't want to think she had misread the signals especially with Sirius' encouragement on the matter, yet James was nowhere in sight. She wasn't upset because she fancied him–at least not entirely, she told herself–but he was supposed to be her friend. So even if the prat was no longer interested in her romantically, the polite thing to do was to actually show up to their date and tell her so instead of this. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she once more shifted her legs, feeling the judgmental eyes of the Fat Lady gazing down at her. Fixing her eyes once more on the watch around her wrist, she gave it a distasteful glance as the seconds hand ticked by. Seconds passing quickly turning into minutes, forcing her to acknowledge that James Fleamont Potter, soon-to-be ex-Head Boy, was exactly one hour, twenty-three minutes and forty-seven seconds late to their date. Forty-eight seconds, forty-nine, fifty.

She dejectedly admitted that he wasn't coming. Having decided a year ago to stop crying over people who, in the end, usually weren't worth the effort, she took a deep breath and stood up straight, blinking away the remnants of any tears that may have been. Taking the less mortifying road, however, wouldn't stop her from daydreaming about hexing the stupid, redhead-seducing prat to Azkaban the next time she saw him. Her anger increased as she witnessed Violet entering the Fat Lady's portrait, whispering hastily as the two of them scrutinised her for what was sure to be the latest gossip in the morning.

Approaching the portrait slowly, she defiantly uttered, 'pukwudgie,' before raising an eyebrow at the look the pair gave her, silently daring them to say a word because while she knew she'd get over the feeling of anger and hurt soon enough, for the moment, it was intensifying. The Fat Lady opened her mouth for a moment, prepared to make a comment before wisely deciding to satisfy herself with releasing a short, disapproving sound from her mouth.

'Hey, Evans, what are you–' Sirius called from his place on the sofa where he sat with Peter and Remus. His back was slumped against the seat, his feet casually thrown up on the coffee table in a fashion only Sirius could pull off that emphasised his natural beauty without causing him to appear sluggish. Marching up to him, she let her eyes peer into his, radiating her anger through their vibrance. Her next words caused a shiver to run through him, 'I'm going to kill him.'

'I–' He sat up straight, turning his attention to the other two. His eyes reluctantly pleading with them as he watched the look of fear that appeared on their faces that surely matched the one on his own. Peter and Remus avoided their gazes, especially that of Lily's who looked on the verge of feeding them to the giant squid as a snack . Bloody cowards, he thought–although Sirius supposed if anyone could make three men fear for their lives it was Lily Evans.

'James better have a good explanation,' he mumbled irritably to himself before standing up and hesitantly wrapping his arms around her.

'Get off,' she protested half-heartedly despite the fact that she had already begun resting her head on his chest.

'If James really did stand you up, I'll personally bring him to you for a serious hexing. Except I should probably ask you on behalf of his parents that you don't murder him, love.' He pet her head awkwardly, not quite sure how to handle a distraught person. 'Although,' he added as an afterthought, a devious smirk adorning his face, 'Mia is very understanding; she'd probably let you murder him if you explain the situation.' He paused for a moment as she let out a small laugh. 'Or do it herself. Quite efficiently,' he added. Pulling away slightly, he tugged on a strand of her hair affectionately, aiming a grin at her. 'Deal?' he asked.

'Deal,' she agreed with the first hint of a smile.

iii. of the past part two, a date

'Evans,' she heard a voice scream from the common room for the third time. A voice that would have usually had her smiling and blushing. Presently, however, it caused Lily to have the temper of a Peruvian Vipertooth–the smallest known dragon to wizarding kind who, like Lily, could no doubt cause one to cease to exist with little to no effort on their part.

As another scream echoed from below–courtesy of the idiotic Head Boy with an apparent death wish–she grabbed her wand from the bed, ready to hex the prat for his lack of consideration if the occasion presented itself. She supposed that if she really wanted to get back at him all she would have to do is steal his glasses and watch as he attempted to fly on his broom without them. Unfortunately–or fortunately if she had been in a better mood–she would have to catch a glimpse of those pretty hazel eyes if she planned on seeing this action through. And frankly, prats who stood up their dates did not deserve to have beautiful eyes; it was the law of the universe.

April gave her a sympathetic look before asking, 'Are you going to talk to him?' Lily's only response was a shake of her head before lying down on her bed. 'I'm sure he didn't mean to stand you up. He looked like he just won the Quidditch World Cup when I saw him this morning.'

'Then he should have shown up.' Lily mumbled mulishly, shooting her friend a glare that didn't quite have the same effect it would have had on most people. 'If Potter,' she spat the name with as much content as she could manage, 'had wanted to talk with me the courteous thing would have been to show up.' Although she tried to hide how hurt she was by his actions through angry words, her feelings remained visible.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Lily's petulant behaviour she said instead, 'James isn't Severus.' Lily bit the inside of her cheek at this statement but remained silent. 'He wouldn't just ditch you for no reason. You know that, you know him. You're just scared that maybe you'll make a mistake by trusting him. That's why you waited so long before asking him out despite the fact that you've fancied him since last year. You're scared, and, as your best friend, I'm telling you this for your own good, Lily. Stop trying to find a reason to ruin any chance of a relationship you might have with James just because Severus turned out to be a complete arsehole who never stopped letting you down.'

'I'm not,' she pouted, crossing her arms. Her eyes narrowed at the other girl briefly in defiance before she took a deep breath and stood up. Although, she tried to conceal her smile, April made no attempt in hiding her innocent humming of 'Here Comes the Bride.'

Once more shifting her attention to focus on the blonde, she firmly stated that it was her own desire to go talk to the handsome prat (perhaps not in those exact words) and not the result of her friend's insinuation that Lily had unresolved issues involving backstabbing bigots.

'I just don't want him to injure himself doing something careless and get blamed if Gryffindor loses the first match of the season,' she said adamantly.

'Whatever you say,' April laughed. Before marching off, Lily heard her friend's smug proclamation that said event wasn't until November.

On her way down to the common room, she caught sight of the boy in question sitting at the foot of the staircase. He was glaring at it as if it were responsible for all his troubles.

'What do you want, Potter?' She saw him flinch at the manner in which she pronounced his surname as if it were acid. Nevertheless, he stood up and faced her. As she watched him, she noticed how he held onto the left side of his abdomen with a look of pain on his face before quickly dropping his hand when he caught her gaze fixated on him. 'Are you–' she began asking as he said, 'Lil, I–'

'Erm, you can go first,' she said as she brushed aside a strand of her hair.

His voice came out alarmed as he continued with his sentence, 'I got mugged,' The look on his face one of a deer caught in headlights.

She stared back at him with a look of bewilderment on her face. She opened her mouth before quickly closing it; not quite sure what to say to that. Instead, she raised an eyebrow and waited for him to elaborate.

'I panicked,' he admitted. The worry in his voice evident. 'I didn't get mugged. Although, Sirius did say it would be better if I said I was.' He laughed nervously before adding, 'He's under the impression that you want to murder me.'

'I wouldn't call it an impression considering I told him I would. Perhaps an inevitable event would be more accurate.' Taking a deep breath, she took a step closer to him and asked, 'So what really happened? The James Potter edition, that is.'

He sighed before meeting her gaze. 'I got ambushed by a few Slytherins when I was coming back from the kitchen. They gave me a nasty curse to the stomach and disappeared once they heard the sound of someone coming. It was Dirk Cresswell, you know, one of the Hufflepuff Prefects. He saw my wound and went to find Professor Sprout to help take me to the hospital wing.' Absently, he moved his hand over his middle once more.

He ran his other hand through his hair, pulling at it nervously. His eyes pleading with her before saying wretchedly, 'I never meant to miss our date.' He sent her one of his lopsided smiles, 'I've wanted a date with you since our fourth-year, Evans. So please trust me when I say that had I not been surprised by the Slytherins, I would have shown up.'

She cast her eyes down for a moment, feeling guilty for thinking so poorly of him—all prior thoughts of vicious dragons and hexing forgotten.

'I suppose being attacked is a good reason for missing our date,' she acknowledged softly. 'Even if you weren't actually mugged.'

Her eyes held a mischievous glint in them for a moment that had James speechless. Especially when she placed a hand on his shoulder and tilted her face up to get a better look at him. He was close enough to her to admire the assembled freckles that were gracefully spattered across her face and caused him to become tongue-tied at any given opportunity.

With the same look of mischief still present, she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth before impishly remarking, 'I suppose you'll have to make it up to me, won't you?' And with a playful wink sent his way, she headed up the stairs.

iv. of the past part three, a kiss.

Lily had a set rule when it came to dating: only kiss a boy after a successful third date. This rule was put in place after an unfortunate first date in fourth-year when one Colin Hunt had pressed his lips against hers abruptly and proceeded to brag to the rest of the fourth-year Ravenclaw boys about how the redheaded Gryffindor had thrown herself at him. Needless to say, someone made sure that Colin Hunt couldn't talk for the next two weeks, and, quite unfortunately, it couldn't be traced back to her. However, the crooked smile she got from James Potter the next day was more than enough to confirm that Lily's mischief hadn't gone unnoticed (a pleasant thrill had gone through her at the acknowledgment of her transgression).

The third date rule, however, seemed silly when it came to James. James who she trusted more than anyone, silly for the boy who caused her to feel so content by his mere presence and who caused her to melt by the sight of his tousled hair or that adorable grin that was usually the result of some act of mischief. It was that grin that usually had Lily on the verge of shoving him into a broom closet and snogging him until his messy hair was beyond redemption. But it's not like she thought about kissing him much. It only occurred to her a few times a days, sometimes provoked by his smile or laugh or his humor. Although, him taking off his robes was also a major contributor; if anything could be blamed for Lily's roaming thoughts, it was Quidditch.

Their first date had been held in Hospital Wing the afternoon after the misunderstanding and was held under the watchful eyes of Madam Pomfrey.

'Five more minutes, Miss Evans,' the patron reminded her for the fifth time since her arrival, eyeing Lily as if she was about to sneak James away under her robes.

Lily laughed as Madam Pomfrey moved to attend to another patient. 'Come back and visit me, Lil?' James mumbled into her neck, nuzzling into it for a short moment that had her stomach feeling a pleasant sensation until he pulled away–leaving her with the lingering thought that she shouldn't be feeling this giddy just yet but it was right, he was right, this was right. It should have scared her, but it didn't.

'Of course.' Her voice came out hoarse as her fingers moved to his cheek, drumming them gently against his skin. She watched his reaction, noticing how he licked his lips in anticipation, his eyes shifting focus between her lips and eyes. She leaned in closer, her lips about to touch his before they were interrupted by a sound of disapproval.

'I think it's time you let my patient rest, Miss Evans.' She let out a regretful sigh and quickly moved towards the door with a goodbye and a wave for James and a quick apology for Madam Pomfrey. In spite of the blush coating her cheeks at getting caught, or almost caught, she couldn't help the hint of bitterness she felt at being interrupted, she had still had a minute after all.

Second dates were much better than first dates, especially when you were far from the watchful eyes of patrons who could interrupt stress-relieving snogging with the person you were attempting to date. But Lily wasn't bitter, today she would be engaging in certain gratification-inducing activities with her fellow Head if all went to plan.

By the end of their second date, everything had seemed to be going how Lily had imagined it. They had gone out for an early morning walk around the lake and led to them having lunch in the kitchens. She had taken his hand in hers as he led her back to the common room, stopping by the girls' staircase.

His mouth twitched upwards as he looked her pushing a strand behind her ear. Her hand moved to his shoulder, her thumb brushing against it in soothing movements. Lily grinned when she saw his eyes fluttering.

'Evans, love,' he moaned softly. She moved her other hand into his hair, pulling on it lightly and bringing him closer to her face.

'I'm going to kiss you,' she told him bluntly. He nodded slowly as she moved in.

She should have known better than to believe that everything could go to plan.

'Hey, Evans,' Sirius yelled as he descended the boys' staircase. The sound of his best friend startled James and caused him to move his face, Lily's lips landed on his cheek as a result. James turned around apologetically, sending her one of those adorable lopsided grins of his that made her want to forget Sirius was there, looking at them with an amused look, and kiss him.

'Did I interrupt anything?' he asked innocently.

'You're a bastard, Black,' she joked. A pretty blush coated her cheeks as she watched James adjusting his glasses. 'I'll see you later, lads.' She hurried up to her dormitory but not before hearing the sound of someone being hit in the head along with the statement, 'Bloody hell, this is animal abuse, Prongs.' She giggled as she fell onto her bed. She supposed snogging the daylights out of him would have to wait for another day.

Three times the charms is a lie. An utter bloody lie that gives one false hopes and cuts dates short because fourth-years can't help but fighting in the corridors–resulting in the Head Students needing to escort them to the Hospital Wing.

She began believing that perhaps the universe believed that they weren't meant to be, leaving them always be on the edge of something that should never be. But Lily wasn't going to let anything stop her from at least attempting to kiss him. Because it would never just be about a kiss, it was about her potential to love him, a love that she knew would be amazing if she was just given the chance, if they were given the chance.

'You're quiet tonight, Cariad,' he said as they patrolled the dark corridor. His hand had taken hers in his, bumping them against his leg every so often, almost like he needed to touch her to know that this was real, that they were real.

'I think the universe or Merlin himself has something against us.' She leant her head against his arm briefly.

'Oh,' he responded in surprise before adding in with a brief chuckle, 'Do you think it was something I said?'

She shoved him lightly, sending a small smile his way. 'Don't be a prat, I'm being serious.'

His lips twitched. 'I'm not really scared about what the universe, or Merlin, thinks, Lil. I'll court you for the rest of my life, and I'll fight anyone who tries to keep you from me. I promise.'

'You think you can take on the universe, Potter?'

His eyes held the mischievous glint she adored before taking his hand out of hers, cupping her face instead, waiting for her to close the gap between them. And standing on the tip of her toes, she did. Wrapping one arm around his neck and using her other hand to feel one of his forearms, they told off the universe, Merlin, the bigoted arseholes, and anyone else wanted to stand between them because they could they would fight it off together.

It didn't matter that ten minutes later Professor McGonagall found them in a compromising position with Lily's legs wrapped around James' waist and his hands tangled in her red locks, keeping her mouth close to his. It didn't matter that they had received three hours of detention each, not when the universe had managed to miss James muttering, 'Go out with me, Evans,' into her neck, and Lily's response of 'Yes,' grasping onto his hair once more before reattaching her mouth to his.

It was too late.

v. of interludes, a friendship

If there was one person Sirius loved as much as he loved James Potter, it was Lily Evans.

He supposed some people wouldn't be able to comprehend his feelings for her. Rumors had begun going around Hogwarts recently that not only was Lily Evans dating James Potter but also Sirius himself. It was ridiculous for anyone close to the redhead, anyone could see how in love she was with James, how in love they were with each other. It was idiotic that anyone would believe Lily would cheat on James, offensive that anyone thought Sirius would make a move on his best friend's, on his brother's girlfriend. It was complete shite.

He supposed the only truth to the rumours was that he loved her, that he was in love with her but it was a platonic, unconditional love that mirrored the one he felt for James. They were his family, better really. You can't choose who you have for family, but, if he could, he would have chosen them.

His day had begun fine enough, he had had breakfast with the boys and Lily and her friend, April Eliot. It had gone fine and Sirius, Remus, and Peter had left James with Lily to properly say goodbye before they went back to the dorm to plan the next full moon. What wasn't fine was running into Regulus hours later with his idiot friends. What wasn't fine was the way his brother had touched his arm left arm as if it burned. Sirius wouldn't have admitted it to anyone but Lily and James, but he had feared that this was coming. He wished he could say it was a shock when he pulled up Regulus' sleeve and saw his mark, but it wasn't. It didn't stop the guilt that overcame him, and it didn't stop Sirius from turning his wand on his brother, the one he was given by some force of nature. It didn't stop him from placing his wand in his robes instead and fighting him the Muggle way as Regulus' two sidekicks watched like cowards, too afraid of the eldest Black, or perhaps too stupid to realise they had wands. It didn't stop him from reprehending him for being a fucking idiot, a bigot who would join a group that wanted those that Sirius loved the most killed, people like Lily and Remus and Peter.

He was pissed. Maybe not entirely at Regulus.

He didn't regret it though, not really. Not when McGonagall sat them in her office and gave them a lecture and a week worth of detention. Not when he looked down and saw the blood of his brother on his knuckles. He didn't care as the portraits gave him scandalised looks and whispered to one another as he made his way back to Gryffindor Tower. He just couldn't bother caring. All he wanted was to go back to the dorm and rant to three of his best friends about his idiotic brother who did everything he could to make their parents proud, it sickened him. But of course, they weren't there because the universe was determined to screw him over. He was sure Merlin was laughing at him right now.

Marching back down to the common room he was met with the only other person whose presence wouldn't cause him to go into any violent tendencies.

'Evans, upstairs?' He asked as he approached her sitting on the sofa with Eliot. Ignoring the other girl as she wiggled her eyebrows playfully at the redhead before she packed up her things to leave.

'I'll see you later, Lily,' she yelled over her shoulder, leaving the other two alone.

'All right, Sirius?' Lily asked as she too stood up, her eyebrows knitting together as placed her bag on her shoulder. 'What's wrong?' Her hand took his in hers, giving it a brief squeeze as he led her to the boys' dorm room.

'I need to vent, and the boys weren't in our dorm.'

Lily rolled her eyes, 'It's good to know that I'm second best.' He shrugged his shoulders knowing her enough to realise when she was actually offended by something and when she simply wanted to amplify something for her amusement.

'Don't be dramatic, Evans,' he stated casually.

'Don't be a hypocrite,' she laughed not unkindly. Making her way into the room, she headed for James' bed that she always insisted had better pillows than her own. Although, Sirius thought that was just an excuse to stay in James' bed most nights. 'You go to James' Quidditch practises just to boo him.'

Sirius sent her a small smile as he sat down next to her. 'And you help me do it,' he said, bumping his shoulder into hers.

Lily sighed as she lied down, Sirius following suit. 'What happened?'

Sirius ran a hand through his hair absently, causing a small grin to form on her face at the accidental imitation of her lovely boyfriend.

'You remember me talking about Regulus a while back?' His eyes closed. Not waiting for a response, he continued, 'He's a Death Eater. He has the mark.'

She didn't say anything, knowing all too well the feeling of having someone you care about disappoint you. The feeling of hatred for them, followed by the feeling of self-hatred and guilt for not saving them.

'It's not your fault, you know.' She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him.

'I know,' he mumbled into her hair. 'I just wish I could have protected him.'

'I know.' They were silent for a bit before Sirius spoke up again, 'Hey, Evans?'

'Yeah?' She whispered, a yawn escaping her in between the word.

'Just so you know, I'm platonically in love with you.'

Lily giggled, as she sat up. 'Couldn't you just tell me you love me like a normal person, you tosser?'

Sirius scoffed, 'I'm exceptional, thank you very much.'

'An exceptional tosser maybe.' He laughed, flicking her behind the ear. 'Hey, Black?'

'Yes?'

'I suppose I'm platonically in love with you too.' She pressed a kiss to his forehead that reminded Sirius of the way Mrs Potter would do whenever he had visited the manor. Lily pulled away as the door opened and closed.

'Ah,' an amused voice said. 'So the rumours are true,' James said, placing a hand over his chest dramatically and dropping his broom against his bed.

'Oh, shut it, you prat,' Lily said as she got up to greet her boyfriend with a hug, moving away from him slightly to adjusts his glasses.

He chuckled before placing a kiss on her nose in thanks. 'Everyone downstairs was giving me sympathetic looks when I said I was looking for you.' He pushed a strand of her hair back, keeping his fingers tangled in her red curls. 'Apparently,' his eyes moved to Sirius' playfully, 'someone demanded for my girlfriend to come upstairs with him. What a scandal!' He placed his forehead against hers. 'Because how dare my girlfriend go anywhere when I'm not around, especially with another male.'

'It doesn't bother you that people think I'm shagging Sirius?'

'Nah, it's silly.' He pulled her in closer, 'And I know you love me.'

Lily giggled. 'I don't know I think you might have some competition.' She teased, moving her mouth to James' shoulder, her hand moving into his hair. 'Sirius declared he was platonically in love with me.'

Another laugh, 'I suppose that's not surprising.'

Lily giggled as Sirius threw a pillow at James. Kissing her boyfriend's temple as he pouted at his best friend's abuse.

It was ridiculous that anyone could mistake her love for Sirius to be more than of platonic nature, but that didn't make it mean any less. She would die for him just as she would for James, because James was her soulmate (she was sure of it) and Sirius she supposed could only be described as her platonic soulmate–one she had chosen to love. Both amazing and both worth loving until her final moments.

vi. of human decency, a rant.

'What are you thinking about?' Lily asked him, letting her fingers brush the knuckles on his hand lightly as they made their rounds around the castle. He grasped her hand carefully, intertwining their fingers together, smiling briefly as he did so.

He gave her hand a small squeeze before saying, 'I heard that you got into a fight with the Slytherins today.' It wasn't accusing, it was exhausting. He was tired, tired of them and their prejudices. 'I was worried,' he admitted.

'I'm sorry.' And she was but not for the fight.

'Don't apologize.' He sighed knowing that her sorrow lied in his own emotions. 'I hate them, Lil, so much. How messed up do you have to be to want someone dead because they weren't "fortunate" enough to be born with the "right" blood running through their veins? To be so offended by the thought of someone marrying someone of a different blood status?' He let out a derisive snort. 'Idiots, the lot of them. They'd rather have their daughters and sons end up with literal arses than be happy with someone they love because they have these preconceived idea that blood means something, that being a pureblood makes you superior. Blood is shite, it's just an idea meant to further oppress a group through when all it is is chance.' He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and saying, 'Whatever happened to being a decent human being and not caring about someone's blood but whether they were decent people? No one should have to settle for anything less.'

She pulled on his hand, stopping them in their tracks. 'James?'

'Yeah?'

'Did you just rant to me about the blood supremacy system?'

'Yeah.'

She laughed for a moment, tears in her eyes. 'I love you, I hope you know that.'

He let go of the hand she was still holding, placing them instead on both sides of her face and leaning his forehead against hers. 'Never settle for anything or anyone less than you deserve, Lil. I won't even mind it much if you break my heart while doing it. You deserve everything, everything.' He sounded as if he were in pain.

It broke her heart for a moment as she saw the hint of tears in his eyes, she knew he meant it. Knew that he would step aside without another word if he though she would be happier without him.

So she pressed her lips to his instead, putting in every intense feeling she has ever felt for him into this one kiss. She soon tore away, moving her lips to his cheek before whispering into his ear, 'This isn't settling, this could never be settling.' The tears finally fell.

vii. of rings, an engagement?

He had no idea what he was doing if he was being honest, he just knew that he had been compelled to pass the shop ever since he had spotted it in November during another full moon adventure. The store had been closed but the gorgeous rings had still caught his attention, drawing him in. It had scared him that he had been so drawn to them when he had only been dating Lily for two months at the time, so he had pushed it to the back of his mind.

But now he was back, having given his girlfriend and best mates the excuse of having promised Professor McGonagall that he would tutor a first-year in Transfigurations. Lily had given him a big grin that made him his stomach flutter, he had leant down and placed a kiss on her cheek, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

'Don't let Sirius get you in trouble while I'm gone,' he teased.

He heard Sirius snort as Lily laughed. 'I think you should be more worried of her getting us into trouble, Prongs.'

He looked into Lily's eyes and couldn't help but agree because if Sirius was right about anything it was that Lily Evans was trouble, and he wouldn't change it for anything in the world. He was drawn to Lily Evans just as he had always been drawn to trouble, because they made him feel not alive but to feel as if they were more than life, it was an inexplicable sensation that he hoped to never stop feeling.

So here he was, walking into a shop like he had any idea about what he was doing, but James had always known what he wanted, and what he should have known in November is that she was it. Of course she was it because no one else could drive him to the brink of insanity with a single look, she was vivacious and kind and the love of his life. At fifteen, he had realised that she would be his undoing and it had terrified him more than anything ever had, a first considering he had a werewolf as a best friend who he roamed around with at least once a month; at eighteen, he knew and welcomed it because the most terrifying things are often the most amazing.

The man at the front looked up at James as he let the door close behind him. His eyes shone with a knowing glint as he looked up at James, 'I was wondering when you'd come in.'

'I'm here for a ring?' he asked instead of said.

The man chuckled, 'You've come to the right place then, best rings in all of Hogsmeade.' The man gave him a sympathetic look at the lost expression on James' face. 'Who's the lucky girl?'

A smile of complete adoration made itself onto James' face. 'Her name's Lily.' His voice was in awe as he added, 'My girlfriend.' He still couldn't believe it sometimes, she had chosen him. She loved him. 'She's everything,' he sighed. Everything didn't seem like enough to describe her.

He walked around the tiny shop for a moment before spotting one that spoke to him the same way the shop had. 'Can I see this one?' He asked, pointing at the ring with a diamond stone surrounded by two emerald ones. The man handed it over. It was made of goblin gold and gorgeous, and all James could think about when he saw it was the moment when she might let him slide it onto her finger, the moment when she would allow him the pleasure of calling himself her fiancé, her husband.

He looked up at the man and nodded. 'I'll take it,' he said, his fingers tightening on the ring that was still in his hand.

The man chuckled as he noticed the gesture. 'Do you want it engraved?' The man questioned.

James nodded, slowly opening up his palm that held the ring as if scared that it would disappear. 'Until the very end,' he said slowly before the smile took over his face.

viii. of nerves, a question.

He chuckled as she once more switched positions in his bed, accidentally shoving him this time. 'l'll leave if you want, Cariad,' he said placing a kiss on the top of her head.

'No, you're warm,' she moaned softly, pressing her lips against his neck as he made to get up. He resisted the small moan that wanted to escape his lips. He didn't think he could afford to let her know how much those tiny actions affected him, how much of him she had control of. He trusted her to never break that part of him though, so perhaps it was more for his pride than anything else.

His hand stroked her curls gently, 'We have to get up soon, you know?' He watched her as she closed her eyes, observing the freckles on her face that he had to resist kissing while in public in order to be "professional" about their duties. He didn't resist doing so now. 'We have the prefects meeting in an hour,' he mumbled onto her skin.

She looked up to glare at him but the blush on her cheeks didn't leave much room to be terrified. 'Stop ruining the mood, Potter.' Her eyes held a glint to them as she repositioned her head on his chest. 'I'm trying to enjoy myself.'

Those words made him speechless for a moment. He coughed before saying in a semi-hoarse tone, 'And did you enjoy yourself?' He wiggled his eyebrows teasingly before placing a kiss on her nose. Her cheeks reddened once more, before making a request for James to "shut it." He laughed and began playing with the shirt she wore (his shirt), moving it to the side so he could feel the skin underneath, his fingers playfully dancing across it in the way that caused her to shiver.

'James,' she said in faux exasperation, a hint of a smile present on her face. He placed another kiss on her neck before pulling away.

He grinned his lopsided grin at her, the smile that was only ever for Lily (and occasionally Professor McGonagall). The dimpled grin that Lily had to resist the urge to kiss when they had been friends. Really, it was quite a beautiful dimple, she thought as she let one of her fingers touch it tentatively.

'What are you doing,' he asked in awe. He was looking at her with warm eyes that could have melted her right there, eyes that felt as if they could move the entire universe if he asked. She couldn't believe that she had ever thought those eyes were brown. They weren't brown, they were Lily-Evans-melting hazel eyes that deserved an award for their mischievous glint that usually lied behind them. She adored them, adored him.

'You have a dimple,' she said in a dazed tone. 'Right there,' she poked the spot where the dimple had been moments before. 'I like it.'

James flushed lightly. He was always surprised when she mentioned one of the things she liked about him, not that he should be surprise that Lily (his amazing girlfriend) was saying those things. He was often left with the feeling that it couldn't be real, that he couldn't have gotten this fortunate to have her reciprocate his feelings, but he had. He had gotten lucky enough to have her as his girlfriend, have Lily who told him that she loved his glasses when he would get insecure around her whenever they would occasionally (or not so occasionally) bump into her face while they were kissing. Have Lily who said she loved his messy hair despite having stated otherwise in their youth. Have Lily who loved that he couldn't be still for very long without having to move like a tornado wreaking havoc wherever it went. Most importantly, he was lucky to have Lily who loved him and who he loved in every sense. He knew not everyone could be so lucky.

He couldn't help smiling down at her again, her face lit up. 'See, right here.' She leant up and placed a kiss on it, squealing in surprise as James rolled them over. 'We have an hour, James,' she giggled as he placed kisses down her neck, the hand that wasn't cradling her face was moving down under her shirt.

'Lily, Lily, Lily,' he chanted lightly, making sure she could feel every syllable on her skin. Merlin, he loved her, loved her so much that he didn't think he could handle the mind-consuming feeling of loving her at times.

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved his lips back to her mouth. He groaned against her before releasing her and nuzzling into her neck. She stroked his hair softly, carefully causing a smile to make itself onto his face.

'You're a bit mad, aren't you?' Her finger continued their ministrations on his hair, eliciting a soft whimper from him. He wanted to cry because he loved her, because he didn't ever want to love anyone else. She was it, she was everything.

'Marry me,' he whispered.

He hadn't meant to say it, not now. Not in this moment, he had had everything planned for how he would ask. It was going to be perfect. He felt himself flinch, he couldn't dare look up at her and instead chose to hide himself in her neck. He felt very much like a child in the moment, but it was a very beautiful neck to hide his embarrassment in.

'James?' she questioned as she detached herself from him. 'Do you mean it?' Her eyes searched his for an answer. 'Do you want me to marry you?'

He felt like he had just had his voice taken away from him–she had stolen his voice, that was the only explanation for why he couldn't so much as utter a single syllable. If he hadn't been sure she was a Muggle-born, he would have questioned whether she was part-Veela.

He nodded slowly, aware that he currently looked like an utter mess.

'Yes,' she said, tears in the green eyes staring at him. Her face glowing as if she had just won a million galleons before she threw her arms around his neck, kissing his neck, jaw, every surface within her reach. It took him a moment before he was able to process what she had said.

Hesitantly he stopped her kissing, taking her face delicately in between his hands. 'Yes,' he asked as he stroked her cheeks gently, wiping away stray tears.

She sent him the biggest grin he'd ever seen before leaning up and kissing him again. 'Yes, I'll marry you, James Fleamont Potter.'

He felt tears in his own eyes. 'I have a ring for you,' he said softly, leaning his forehead against hers for a moment. Hesitantly rolling off of her, he pulled the box from his bedside table. 'Get dressed, Cariad, I want to do it properly.'

Lily threw her head back and let out a soft, euphoric laugh, 'I already said yes.' Her eyes stared at him incredulously.

He leant down to kiss her, a lovesick smile on his face. 'I know, but I'm not telling our children that I proposed to their mother while we were snogging in bed.' He pressed a kiss to her head before pulling on his robes over his head.

'No one told me I was pregnant,' she teased as she got up. She had just managed to pull on her trousers before James' hand had latched onto hers, barely giving her enough time to put on her shoes and grab her robes from the floor before dragging her down a multitude of stairs and corridors until they were at James' favourite tree. The same tree where she had once rejected him in favour of the Giant Squid, the same one where he had once carved their initials on a piece of bark accompanied with Lily's carving of a heart underneath. It was their tree.

'Lily Evans, cariad,' he began as he got down on one knee. He was shaking slightly. 'I had an entire speech written that is probably shite, and I think I mentioned the colour of your eyes at least twenty times, but all I really want to say is that I love you more than anything, Lil. I want to marry you and have a family with you. I want to grow old and embarrass our children together and tell them all the stories about how I was an idiot who could only hope to capture your heart like you had mine and somehow did. I want to make you as happy as you make me because you're it for me, Evans. There's no going back, I'm yours, and I love you and promise to always be there for you for the rest of our lives. So do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?'

'Yes, you prat,' she said, tears making their way down her face once more. 'And you do make me happy, happier than I have ever been.'

He slid the ring onto her finger, the green stones on the side of the diamond matching the colour of her eyes.

'You're stuck with me now, Evans,' he joked.

She threw herself into his arms again, whispering her love for him into his ear as he held her tightly against him, reveling in his state of exultation, pressing kisses on her skin like he had done in his dorm. It felt surreal that she had just agreed to marry him, but he couldn't be happier than he was now. Things don't always go to plan, but sometimes it's better if they don't, he thought as her lips met his.

They arrived late for the meeting, not that they minded all that much. Their robes were wrinkled, hair tousled, and lips swollen.

'Sorry we're late,' Lily said as they shuffled in, moving her fingers to tie up her red locks. There were whispers as the prefects took note of the beautiful and luxurious ring on her left hand.

James took Lily's hand in his, daring anyone to comment as he began speaking. His eyes softening when he turned it over to Lily who rewarded him with a smile.

He could feel a glare aimed his way, but nothing would ruin this feeling for him. He would be married to Lily by next year, and not even Snape would be able to shatter James' happiness. Snape and the rest of the world could scorn them for all he cared, because they were inconsequential in the midst of his happiness with Lily, the happiness that would carry him through the war.

ix. of before, a forever

He lied on Sirius' bed, fidgeting with the golden snitch he had nicked in his fifth-year. The snitch that he had once used to try to impress his fiancée. He grinned at the memory, he really had been an idiot when it came to her. Still was if he was being honest with himself, but it was a more endearing kind than he had committed in his earlier years.

'Prongs,' Sirius said exhausted as he came back into his room. 'Just go see her.'

'Can't,' he sighed. 'Mum would murder me, she wants to follow all the Muggle traditions that Rose was telling her about, which includes not seeing the bride the night before.' A pout formed on his face. 'I miss her.'

Sirius threw his head back laughing. 'It's been two days, mate.' A look of fake hurt crossed his face as he said, 'You don't complain about missing Wormtail, Moony, or me when you haven't seen us.'

James chuckled. Sirius was the only other person aside from Lily who could make him feel better when he felt like a chaotic mess. 'I can't snog you,' he joked.

Sirius winked at James teasingly, 'No one's stopping you.'

He snorted. 'Careful, Padfoot, I'll be a married man tomorrow.'

'Evans and I have talked about this, she accepts it as long as she can falsely claim to having better hair.'

'She does have better hair,' James said with a lovesick smile on his face. 'Merlin, her hair is gorgeous. And her eyes. And the freckles, have you noticed how cute her freckles are? And also her laugh, I…'

Sirius sat down besides James, snatching the snitch from James' hand. 'I thought I wouldn't have to hear that once you two idiots proclaimed your love for each other.' He laughed lightheartedly. 'Prongs, screw traditions, I did. Just go see her.'

'But Moony and Wormtail are supposed to be here soon.'

'I don't think they'll mind too much, and I can get them plastered on my own.' His eyes held a softness to them that was only ever present with a select few. 'Go see Lily, I'm sure she's dying to see you too.'

'Really?' There was a vulnerability present.

'Really.' He handed James back the snitch, 'Go.'

'Thanks, Padfoot.' He grinned at his best friend and saluted him before apparating outside his home in Wales, walking the distance that placed him right outside his room. He grinned as he saw her outside on the balcony, her back to him.

'All right, Evans?' he shouted knowing that his parents and Mrs Evans would be asleep by now.

She turned around before he could so much as blink. 'James,' she said softly. The sound of his name on her lips almost broke him. 'What are you doing here?'

'I missed you,' he answered truthfully. He gave her a bashful grin, 'C'mere?'

She laughed but a second later she had apparated down to him. 'I missed you too.' She pressed her lips to his briefly before giving him a once over and giggling. 'I like your joggers.'

He looked down at the article of clothing in question that were covered in a pattern of animated deer. James grinned at her, pulling her in for another kiss. 'Sirius thought it would be fun to put a spell on them,' he mumbled on her lips.

She pulled away once more, taking his hand instead. 'Can we go for a walk?'

He nodded. 'Of course, cariad.'

So they walked, speaking of nothing important until they got to what he knew was her favorite spot near the manor. A hill that overlooked a lake. He had shown it to her the summer before their seventh-year. Had almost kissed her had it not been for an impatient Sirius who had gone looking for them.

She liked looking at the stars from here, and he had to agree that they were gorgeous from this spot. But they would never be his first focus when she would always draw his attention from anything else when in the same room.

She lied down on the grass and waited for him to do the same. 'James,' her voice was quiet, 'we're getting married in ten hours.'

'Are you regretting it?' he watched her carefully, looking for any sign to confirm or deny it.

'No,' she laughed. 'Never.'

He let out a sigh of relief. 'All right, what's on your mind then?' He shifted to lying on his side so he could face her, placing a quick kiss to her forehead.

'I'm happy.' Her eyes shifted to his face. 'You make me so happy, and it scary to think that maybe the feeling won't last.' With the war, was unsaid but understood.

'I know the feeling,' there was not much that could be said there, no false assurance that everything would be okay. 'I'm scared too.' He let his fingers move to play with a piece of her hair. 'Terrified, but I'm not going to let anything ruin this feeling. I'm marrying you tomorrow, Lily Evans, I've been dreaming of this since I was fifteen.' He kissed her cheek delicately, 'Nothing else matters to me right now.'

'You would have married me at fifteen?' She teased, shifting to lie on her side as well.

'Of course,' he laughed. 'Sirius even got ordained.'

She let out a beautiful laugh that stole his heart over and over again.

'I love you,' she said proudly, kissing him on the tip of his nose.

'I love you too, Lil.' Another kiss was pressed onto his cheek. Then his neck. Forehead. Jaw. Any piece of skin within her reach.

'Do me a favour, Lily?' he mumbled as her lips touched his.

'Anything,' she said. The intensity of it would have terrified him had his not matched.

He dug into the pocket of his joggers, taking out the golden snitch. 'Use this as your something borrowed? Your mum told me you still needed something, so I thought maybe…you know?' He shrugged self-consciously before ruffling his hair.

Lily looked at him in adoration, carefully taking the snitch from his hand. 'You're letting me borrow your snitch?'

'I only nicked it to impress you,' he confessed. 'I thought it would make me seem cool.'

Lily giggled before kissing him again. 'I thought you were such a dork,' she mumbled onto his lips. 'I wasn't wrong.'

x. of protection, another

It came a week early. A week that would have saved their lives but condemned the wizarding world, perhaps the entire world. Instead, as the universe would have it, Lily Evans went into labour on the morning of July thirty-first, nineteen-eighty, and it wasn't beautiful.

It was painful and nerve-wrecking and involved a lot crying (from Lily, James, and even Sirius who had to leave the room and who would later deny it ever happening and would tease James for crying more than Lily had). It involved a lot of reassurance from James that she could do it, that she would be an amazing mother.

He, meaning James, cried as the healer let him sever the umbilical cord, before she took the baby and cleaned him up. She brought him back minutes later, placing him in Lily's arms. She couldn't stop crying, but James thought she looked like a lovely mess (and he's never loved her more than he did in that moment when he thought that heart could no longer handle so much love but did so anyways).

He approached them slowly. His breath lost as he looked at the two loves of his life, if you didn't include Sirius.

'Does he have a name?' The healer asked, a piece of parchment and quill enchanted to float above her, waiting to inscribe the response.

'Harry James Potter,' Lily managed to get out, looking at the small child in her arms with so much love that it seemed surreal that he hadn't been a tangible being until today.

He watched her, mesmerized by her words. They had said the middle name one night as a joke, he hadn't considered that she actually wanted it, that she would actually be proud to let their child have another part of his name.

He reached her, placing a small kiss on top of her head. 'Hi,' he said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

She rested her head against him. 'Hi,' she said, her voice sounding content albeit tired.

'I love you,' he told her, placing another kiss on her head. 'And Harry.' He carefully placed his other hand on his son's cheek.

'I love you too.' He smiled as her eyes began to flutter before she drifted off.

By the end of July thirty-first of nineteen-eighty, James had another person that he vowed to protect until the very last moments of his life. And he would go through with that promise fifteen months to the date, no regrets. He would make sure that his family was protected because he loved them and love was the one thing his murderer would never understand.

xi. of mothers, a howler!

The day after James and Lily had gotten engaged, the news had been spread across the school, money exchanged between both school mates (Sirius had made quite a few bets) and Professors (Slughorn seemed quite disappointed for more than one reason as he handed Professor McGonagall a few galleons and a crystallised pineapple to the headmaster, for all knew of his distaste for James Potter and his adoration for Lily Evans). The thing, however, that people would remember for weeks to come wasn't the way the bets or look of disappointment from others but the owls. Or, specifically, a tawny owl that dropped a red envelope in front of one James Fleamont (as they would learn was his middle name) Potter.

Any rational witch or wizard would have had the common sense to look fearful in that moment, but James was never known to be ordinary.

Instead of shying away from it, he let it explode with a grin to his face, his fiancée shaking her head with a small smile present, followed by a small laugh.

'JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER, HOW DARE YOU NOT WRITE US THE MOMENT THAT LILY AGREED TO MARRY YOU? I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND THIS IS THE THANKS YOUR FATHER AND I GET FROM YOU IN OUR OLD AGE!' James chuckled at his mother's dramatic antics much to the Hall's surprise. 'WE HAD TO HEAR IT FROM YOUR BROTHER THAT SHE HAD SAID YES, AND HERE WE WERE WORRIED THAT YOU HAD SCARED THE POOR GIRL OFF!' A small blush coated his cheeks at that and was soon comforted by Lily pressing a kiss to it as his traitor of a brother laughed.

'I can't be scared off that easily, Potter,' she said softly.

'Good to know,' he replied happily.

The howler turned to Sirius next, Fleamont Potter's voice now intervening, 'THANK YOU FOR LETTING US KNOW, SON. WE LOVE YOU, AND PLEASE DON'T TEASE YOUR BROTHER TOO MUCH, EVEN IF HE DOES DESERVE IT FOR KEEPING US IN THE DARK.'

'It's been less than a day,' James whispered to Lily who laughed against him.

As if hearing him, the howler turned back to them, once more in his mother's voice, 'YOUR FATHER AND I ARE SO HAPPY FOR BOTH OF YOU, JAMIE.' It turned to Lily, 'WE LOVE BOTH OF YOU. FLEAMONT WANTS TO OFFICIALLY WELCOME YOU TO THE FAMILY, LILY, AND INVITES YOU TO HELP HIM AND SIRIUS EMBARRASS JAMES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. HE ALSO ASKS THAT YOU PLEASE WRITE. WE'LL SEE ALL OF YOU IN A FEW WEEKS, THAT MEANS YOU TOO, PETER AND REMUS.'

Those in the Great Hall would remember the look of happiness on James Potter's face as Lily Evans had her arms wrapped around him, kissing him lightly on the cheek. In them, they saw a happiness that had been managed despite the war.

There were still those who hated the idea of their marriage, The blood traitor and mudblood. Potter and Evans. James and Lily. But in her, he found his happiness and in him, she found hers.

[siriuslymarauders]

Risk it All, Chapter Six

Chapter Six : Worth the Risk 

Word Count: 2188

Warnings: FLUFF. Mentions of Alcohol, Cursing 

Previous Chapters: I would normally link these but apparently tumblr killed those, soo…. I’m just going to reblog my masterlist right after posting! 

February 14th, 1977. Hogwarts. Gryffindor Girls Dormitory.

The dormitory had been silent that night since the girls had gone out into the common room for a gathering with the boys. You had no idea what they were doing, and too be honest you could care less, well at least that is what you told yourself. Occasionally you’d hear a large crash or screaming that made you want to investigate, but you wouldn't dare show your face in there. Not with him in the room.  So, you put your curiosity behind you and worked on your homework in silence. You were so focused and comfortable you hadn't even noticed the door swinging open. It wasn't until a clearing of a throat that you had looked up. There stood Lily Evans, leaning against the door, arms crossed.

“You can't ignore him forever.” she smirked, slowly walking over to your bed and taking a seat.

“I haven't been ignoring him”, you couldn't help roll your eyes at her statement. Huffing air, you looked back down at your notebook, continuing the problem you were just on. You felt the bed shift beneath you and looking up you saw Lily inching her way towards you and quickly snatching your book, throwing it across the room. It was so unlike her to do such a thing, she was typically respectful and graceful. But once she left out a breathless laugh you were able to smell the light alcohol coming from her mouth. Shaking you head, you mentally cursed at James. Ever since the whole Sirius kissing you ordeal, Lily and James have gotten closer, confining and gossiping to each other. It was nice to finally see to them together since they were oddly a perfect match. Lily helped control James, and James helped loosen Lily.

“Oh yeah, when's the last time you've spoken to him?” she giggled with a quick poke to your cheek.

“Two weeks ago” you muttered while pushing her finger away.

“Exactly! So with that in mind, James and I have been talking, and we were thinking that it would be good for you to join us down stairs!”

“I have homework.” you eyed her.

“Yeah, we know. You’ve been up in your bed for the past two weeks “doing homework”, when in reality we all know you’re crying over Sirius.”

Wide eyed you turn towards your best friend with an open jaw. Surprised by her statement you let out a quiet laugh and chuck the nearest pillow at her head. Yes, you been thinking about Sirius a lot, but you were not crying over him. You just needed time to think it all through, and it was a lot to process. He had kissed you. You told him you liked him and he kissed you. Thinking about it made you smile, but that smile always disappeared when you remember the countless other girls he had kissed. What if he just did that to every girl. Made them feel special, like he actually returned the feelings and just dumped them when he was bored. What if you were just another girl?

“Helllooo? Earth to Y/N?” Lily questioned while waving her arms around trying to gather your attention, “So you coming down or what?”

You know what, screw it. “Sure”

With bright eyes Lily jumped off your bed and ran out of the room into the hall giggling and yelling about your arrival. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at her excitement as you followed her in suit. Walking down the stairs, James began to make whistle calls as the rest of the crew cheered you on. You scanned around the room to find all familiar faces ; James and Lily sitting next to the fireplace, Marlene and Dorcas sharing a seat, Remus leaning over the coffee table with homework spread out, Peter fallen asleep laying on the hardwood floor, and Sirius sitting in the corner of the couch avoiding eye contact as if you were Medusa.

Talking a big gulp, you hesitantly walked forward. As you made your way closer to the group of Gryffindors you couldn't help but notice the only seat left was next to Sirius. Quickly giving Lily a look of disapprovement you saw her giggling with James at your discomfort. Damn her, she planned it all along. Trying to avoid contact, you take a seat next to Pads while everyone watched with concentration. Feeling the eyes of everyone on you, you look towards Sirius to see him staring at you as well. His eyes were bloodshot and he had dark bags circling around them. You offered a slight toothless smile his way but was rejected as he looked away and stood up. You didn't watch him as he walked out of the common room into the hall, but you sure saw Marlene following. Tears began to build within your eyesight as you stared at Lily and James. They looked just as upset as you were, both slowly getting up they sat down next to you comforting you in back rubs and hugs. Leaning into James, you closed your eyes and let the tears fall. You were able to hear Prongs silently shushing everyone away as Lily kissed your forehead. She whispered something to James, but you were unable to make it out as you trying to concentrate on your breathing. It wasn't until the room was empty when James pulled away from you. When he was finally able to see your face a look of sadness crossed his. He brought his hand to your cheek and wiped the tears away, giving you a look of sympathy.

“Tell me.” he whispered.

Letting out a breathless laugh, you wiped your nose with your sleeve, “What is there to tell. Sirius kissed me and I walked away. And now he hates me.”

“He does not hate you Y/N. He could never hate you. If anything he’s just as upset about this as you are.”

“Oh yeah, what about Marlene?”

“What about her?”

“Oh come on, dont act like you didn't see her leaving with him” your voice cracked as you stood up from the couch, pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace.

“Okay, fine. Yes Marlene and Sirius are close, but it’s not like that.”

“What about -” you began to speak but were cut off half way.

“Why do you keep on making excuses? Isn't this just what you wanted?”

“Yes! No. I don't know. I love him, you know that. He knows that, the whole bloody school knows it. It, it’s just the moment that it all happened, I realized how much we were risking. Sirius is my friend, and i’d rather continue to be a friend than a forgotten ex he dumped at the side of the road.”

“But you're not just some random girl. You’re fucking Y/N. The shy third year who nuzzled her way into a group of misfits. You know Sirius better than anyone, and same goes for you. He understands you like the back of his hand. He knows when you’re upset, mad, happy, or even craving bloody chocolate. You aren't a random girl, you’re a Marauder.”

“But..” you mumbled, trying to think of something to say. James slowly made his way towards you. You tried to turn away from him, not wanting him to see the vulnerability that had taken effect over you but you were stopped as he placed his hands on your shoulders keeping you in place. He looked at you for a second before smiling and brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

“No buts. Sirius wouldn't risk ruining our group if he knew it wasn't going to end well. He likes you Y/N, a lot. He was too dumb to notice it before, but when you went on your date with Tod he was a nervous mess. He stayed up all night waiting for your return to make sure you were okay, and he even had Remus, Peter, and I go to Hogsmeade to spy on you. Look, Sirius might be the most indecisive and reckless person I know, but I have never seen him put so much thought into something, you.”

“I’m just scared. I’ve always dreamed of this, and what if it's not everything I hoped for?” you confessed through a quiet whisper

“That's the thing, you won't know. You’ll never know unless you give it a try! And if in the end he does hurt you, just know that I’ll beat his ass.”

“You mean it?” you laughed, opening your arms up for a hug.

“Of course, I love you.” he smiled, returning the embrace. You both stood there in silence, holding each other in your arms. You placed you head on his shoulder and smiled.

“So you and Lily?”

“Oh my merlin. I know right!” the embrace was suddenly gone as he jumped away in excitement.

                February 22nd, 1977. Hogwarts. Black Lake.

It had been seven days since your confession with James, and since then you’ve been feeling more confident on you relationship with Sirius. Your days of avoiding him were gone, but it seems that his has just begun. While in the beginning it was Sirius who’d call you name in the halls, you were now returning the favor. You tried to get his attention in every possible form, you had even followed him and the rest of the Marauders in Animagus form on the full moon knowing that he never approved of you helping them in fear of getting hurt. But as you tried countlessly trying to speak with him, he never so much as gave you a second look. You hated it, it was now three weeks since you had last talked to him, and you never felt so broken. Sure, most of it had been your fault, but had he not have been such a hard to read playboy you wouldn't have had to ignore him in the first place. So here you were, waiting for him on top of the hill looking over Black Lake. You knew whenever he had a free period without the Marauders, he would always come here. He was attached to this place, whether is be that he shared a name or just as it was a quiet get away. But as you waited you couldn't help but shiver at the winds. Trying to not concentrate on the chills running down your body, you looked across the now frozen lake.

Quickly turning around you saw a familiar figure making its way up the hill, smiling to yourself you looked back out towards the lake. You were able to hear the crunching of the dead grass behind you come to a stop as he realized your presence. But they soon continued on until Sirius stood right beside you, looking outward as well. You brightly beamed at your slight success and lightly coughed.

“You alright?” he asked, still looking forward

“Hm? Oh yeah, just a slight cold.” you looked at him as he slowly shook his head. He fully turned towards you and took a step closer.

“Yeah, well if you buttoned up your jacket you might not get sick so easily”, he reached for your jacket, slightly pulling you closer as he slowly buttoned you up with shaking hands. Once he reached the top button his hand lingered for a bit before giving you a simple smile and turning back around towards the lake. You muttered a quiet thank you and stuffed your hands within your pockets.

“It’s so beautiful, the lake I mean, I’ve never seen it in the winter.” you tried to fill the awkward void

“Enough with the small talk.” he sighed, turning back towards you “ We can't just ignore what happened. I don't want to ignore what happened.”

“Sirius. I am so sorry. For everything. For running away, ignoring you, not being there for you. These three weeks have been horrible and if I could take everything back I would” you begged as tears slowly began to escape.

“I dont.” he admitted. “Yeah, the whole not speaking for three weeks sucked. But I don't ever want to take that kiss back.” He lightly smiled, reaching forward he grabbed your hand. He looked down at your intertwined fingers, bringing them up to his mouth. He huffed into them, instantly restoring the warmth.

“ I love you Y/N. And I think i’ve loved you for a long time now. You are so strong, and, and beautiful. I was just too stupid to realize it until now.”

“I love you too. But what we have now is good and it can work, we can build upon this and make our friendship stronger. I’m not saying that I don't want to be with you, but I need to know whether or not you are willing to risk it?”

“I’m willing to risk it. I am willing to....” he smiled, leaning in to rest his forehead on yours, closing his eyes he let out the three words that would define your life forever, “Risk it All”

Notes: We are about half way there! I plan on posting about 4-6 more chapters similar to length as this sometime before Jan. 20th. I am going to the Disney College Program for the spring semester so I wont have any time then! Sorry if it’s rushed, I feel like I’m being rushed :/ Haha, thank you for reading! 

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[forzalando]

Dear Sirius ~ Sirius Black

hi guys ok so this was a request, sent in literally FOREVER ago, by @l-am-tired and I just got around to writing it and i am SO sorry it took so long. I sincerely hope you like it :)

special thanks to @hermione-who and @thoseofgreatambition for reading beforehand and giving me feedback :) love you both so much!

the original request is here!!

Black,

I will not ever apologize for the nature of this message.

You are truly the most inconsiderate person I have ever encountered in my entire life. People go to the library to study, not to be disturbed by your ridiculous pranks or incessant chatting. I mean, honestly, how do you manage to sneak in every single day and evade Madame Pince as if it were an easy feat? I can’t even whisper without receiving one of her dreadful glares.

Some of us have to study for good marks; we can’t all be as fortunate as you. If you would kindly refrain from entering the library next Tuesday through Thursday, I would be eternally grateful.

From, (Your Initials)

Dear (Your Initials),

Blimey, I hope I never come across you on a bad day. Your words are quite nasty, all I want is to give people a good laugh while they’re crying over textbooks and I can’t help it if my beautiful voice echoes amongst the shelves of books.

Madame Pince adores my best mate Remus, so she does not usually punish me unless I do something drastic or dangerous. It’s rewarding to have a bookworm as a best friend in more ways than one.

If you don’t mind me asking, why must I avoid the library next Tuesday through Thursday? I just want to make sure you have a good enough reason before I change my whole schedule around for someone that sent me hate mail who, for all I know, I have never met.

Kindest Regards, Sirius Orion Black

Sirius Black,

If you must know, Professor Slughorn detests me and gave me an ‘Acceptable’ on my last practical exam even though I only made one small mistake. My father is a potions master and will be so disappointed in me if I don’t get at least an E on my potions N.E.W.T.

I’m being tutored on those three days because we have another practical on Friday. So, please, if you have a heart, stay out of the library. If you must be in the library, please, for the love of Merlin, stay quiet. I want the library to be as quiet as Professor Binn’s morning lessons because everyone is always asleep. Does anyone even like History of Magic?

Also, I know I said I would never apologize, but I’m sorry for being so rude in my first letter. I was a bit angry but you didn’t deserve to be called the most inconsiderate person I’ve ever met. That title is reserved for someone else.

Anyway, have a good night, Sirius.

Sincerely, (Your Initials)

Dearest (Your Initials),

It’s quite alright, I know I can be a bit much sometimes.

Hey, if you need a great tutor, Moony – I mean Remus, is a genius in every subject. Last month he helped Dorcas Meadows go from a ‘Poor’ on her Veritaserum practical to an ‘E’ on the Amortentia practical. I swear, the boy is magic, pun most definitely intended. I asked him if he would be up for it and he said yes, so all you have to do is find him and ask!

I’m curious to know who the most inconsiderate person you’ve ever met is…an ex-boyfriend? Former lover? Severus Snape?

It’s probably the latter. I’ve seen him do some things worthy of that title.

I swear to you, on my honor, I will stay out of the library on the days you specified.

Hugs and Kisses, Sirius

Sirius,

Like I would tell you who the person I hate the most is! You don’t even know my name, my house, or anything about me other than that I’m not that great at potions and spend ample time in the library.

I have a great tutor, but thank you for asking Remus if he would help a random Hogwarts student. For all you know, I could be one of the truly evil Slytherins (not all of them are that terrible, you know).

You don’t have to keep writing to me, I’m sure it’s tiresome looking for the owl reserved for anonymity every day. Besides, it’s Tuesday and you did not cause a disturbance in the library this evening. For that, I am eternally grateful, as promised.

Your Friend, Sincerely, (Your Initials)

(Your Initials),

You think you’re sneaky but I saw that scribbled out ‘Your Friend’! I’d reckon we’re friends, yeah? I look forward to receiving your letters and I hope you feel the same about mine, otherwise this would be terribly awkward.

I am a man of my word, so of course I stayed out of the library today. Plus, I can’t have you going around telling people I’m a terrible person because I ignored your desperate pleas.

Only two more days until the dreaded practical! Are you sure you don’t want Moony’s help? I swear you won’t regret it.

James asked me to help him write his DADA essay due Thursday (crazy, right? Someone asking me for help? I knew I was a genius!), so if I promise to be quiet and only focus on schoolwork, may I enter the library tomorrow night?

Your Friend, Sirius

Sirius,

I know this is late notice (I did not have a chance to write you yesterday because I was incredibly busy) but of course you can enter the library! I hope you did so that you could help James! I know I might have banned you from it but you don’t have to ask my permission to study there. What did you think I was going to do, hex you if I saw your obnoxiously pretty face?

That would be a sight to see. I’m sure the entire female population of Hogwarts would call for my head on a stick.

Please don’t remind me of how soon the practical is – it is literally tomorrow! If I don’t get Draught of Living Death right on the first try tonight I’m going to hide in the Astronomy tower forever. It’s quite nice up there at night so I can just sleep during the day and stay awake all night to look at the stars.

Hope you had fun helping James with his essay!

Your Friend, (Your Initials)

(Your Initials),

Obnoxiously pretty face? You’re too kind, though most girls go with ‘incredibly sexy’ or ‘devilishly handsome’. However, I’ll take all the compliments I can get, especially if they’re coming from someone as wonderful as you. I would never let the entire female population of Hogwarts lay one finger on you.

It’s nice to know there is another who appreciates the Astronomy tower as much as I do. The next time you visit at night, keep an eye out for Canis Major. It contains Sirius: the star I was named after, the brightest star in Earth’s night sky, and a beautiful sight to see.

I did not have fun helping James with his essay last night, believe it or not. He was too busy making googly eyes at your friend Lily until she left to go tutor someone, who I suspect was you since you said you had a brilliant potions tutor. I can’t believe she finally gave him a chance, I thought he was going to be pining after her forever.

If I don’t have the chance to write you again before tomorrow, good luck on the practical. I know you can do it. I believe in you. You are smart, fully capable, and determined. Slughorn will be so impressed with your Draught of Living Death he’ll invite you to join the Slug Club and you can take me as your date to all of his parties.

Your Friend, Sirius

Sirius,

THE PRACTICAL IS FINALLY OVER AND DONE!

I feel like I can breathe again. I made no mistakes, can you believe it? I could cry, I’m so happy and relieved.

This will probably make your already gigantic head even bigger, but Canis Major is my favorite constellation, and Sirius is my favorite star. But, it has absolutely nothing to do with you; I was really into astronomy before I even knew I was a witch and started at Hogwarts.

You think I’m wonderful? Smart? Capable? Determined? Sirius Black, you don’t even know who I am. It’s just in your nature to flirt with every female that crosses your path.

Your Friend, (Your Initials)

Dear Y/N,

As a matter of fact, I do know who you are because I am an observant lad. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff have their potions practical exams on Thursdays, while Gryffindor and Slytherin have theirs on Fridays. You wrote previously that you “could be one of the truly evil Slytherins”, and a true Slytherin would never call their housemates evil, which leads me to believe that you are a fellow Gryffindor.

Secondly, Lily accidentally let it slip a few weeks ago that she was tutoring you in potions before you even wrote to me. I have a very good memory.

(I also recognized your handwriting after your second letter from when we were paired together for that History of Magic assignment in fifth year. You have very distinct cursive.)

You underestimate me, Y/N, I’m not just an obnoxiously pretty face.

Your Friend, Sirius

Sirius,

You’re unbelievable. I may be one of Lily’s friends, and a Gryffindor, but we never really speak and I thought you didn’t know of my existence besides the week of the History of Magic project. You didn’t speak much, so I thought you were angry you weren’t paired with James, Remus, or Peter. I’ve always been quite intimidated by you.

Lily suggested I just ask you in person to stay out of the library, but I probably would have fainted before I could get any words out so I thought an anonymous letter would do the trick. Somehow, it did, and after conversing with you, I’ve decided you’re really not that intimidating.

Congratulations, Black, your impeccable penmanship and irritating charm has somehow helped me to not be intimidated by you and your presence.

Your Friend, Y/N

Dearest Y/N,

You know what would really change your mind about me? If you would let me take you to Hogsmeade this weekend.

Honestly, I’ve always known of your existence. I have since you stood next to me at the sorting ceremony and then sat next to me during the feast our first year. You probably don’t even remember, but you told me that I had pretty eyes and I’ve been hooked on you ever since.

It’s funny how everyone thinks of me as this confident, charming young man, but I’ve been afraid to speak to you for the past seven years.

Why? I couldn’t tell you.

Moony thinks it’s because you intimidate me, which is actually a pretty great theory because you’re bloody gorgeous, the smartest girl I’ve ever met, and you have the kindest heart.

James thinks it’s because you never paid any attention to me and I was secretly afraid of rejection, which also makes sense.

I think I’m just a bloody idiot who should have told you years ago how I feel, but I was too busy being a trollop and ignoring my feelings because emotions are complicated and messy.

So, what do you say? Will you let me take you out? Woo you?

Hugs and (hopefully) Kisses, Sirius Black, The Man Whose Heart You Stole

Sirius,

I have a confession. You intimidated me because I’ve had the most humongous crush on you since, you guessed it, the sorting ceremony, and I was afraid I would make a fool out of myself in front of you. Honestly, when you’re around, I can’t form coherent thoughts in my head, which is bloody terrifying because I am an articulate and confident young woman. There’s just something about you that turns me into a blushing, bumbling mess.

I’d love for you to take me out and ‘woo me’. There’s no time like the present! I can’t believe we wasted almost seven years because we were too afraid to speak to each other.

I feel like I’m eleven years old again when I wanted to tell you that I was excited to get to know you, that I was so very happy that we were put in the same house, and that I hoped we would be great friends, but all I could manage was “you have pretty eyes”, which I guess worked in my favor.

Hugs and (eventual) Kisses, Y/N

permanent tag list: @thephelpstwins, @yourslytherinprincess, @wutheringweasley, @weaslcywheezes

(let me know if you want to be added to a tag list!)

[ofprcngs]

BRANDON ARREAGA — Well, if it isn’t JAMES POTTER, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HIM, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re CHARMING and INCISIVE, but they can also seem pretty DEPENDENT and INEXORABLE. Sometimes people call them the SHEPHERD. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. 

i literally have 0 explanation for why i did this other than i’m in love with him. but also, he’s a mess, so jot that down. if you wanna know more about him ( protip: don’t ) then i recommend checking out his pinterest and then i dunno.... contemplate why i’m a punk ass bitch, i guess. enjoy this mess. plot with me. ily.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth. 

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts. 

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not. 

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like... so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like... yikes. 

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point --- he gave up on her. 

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy.... that infuriated him. 

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ --- life  heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals --- every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just.... popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

he’s a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess 

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like... boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side.... i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like... idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos. 

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

WANTED CONNECTIONS

girlfriend: i hate to expose myself as a whole ass jily stan but... here i am i guess. but also, listen: he really thinks he’s over her right now. like, he truly believes his days of pestering lily evans are behind him. it was just a crush! it’s gone! ( spoiler alert: it’s not ) BUT he is so convinced that he has got himself into this relationship which is really just... a mess. like highkey it’s obvious he could never fully love her bc his Heart Belongs to Lily or whatever but he does care for her deeply and has tricked himself into believing it’s love. it’s hard, man. he’s confused. send help.

ex-girlfriend(s): more of above but like... less intense? or more intense! who knows, frankly.

childhood friend(s): i’d die for childhood friends. jake/gina dynamic? iconic. just anything, really.

odd friend: ok like... as i mentioned, he’s still kinda wary of slytherins and ppl who grew up in purist culture, but i would love love love to see someone who was one of the first to show him that not all those people are so bad. like someone from a purist family or the like who was just chill and friendly and actually befriended this asshole even when he was... well, an asshole. it’d be fun, ig. also if they eventually do end up recruited for the de’s bc of family stuff or whatever... bonus points.

rivals: i’m tired. you understand.

[sirius-archive]

Hello! Prompts: 52,35,17, with a 7th year Marauder's Era Remus Lupin? I've been struggling with people insulting my appearance a lot lately and it really hurts,so having my favorite character comfort me would help loads! Thanks 💓

I am really on a roll today! I tried a slightly different writing style, just for fun. Enjoy

52. “Wow I can’t believe he said you were ugly, hun he is clearly blind.”, 35. “You don’t deserve this.” And 17. “What happened to you?”

When (Y/N) (Y/L/N) asked Remus Lupin for help with her Defence Against the Dark Arts assignment, Remus almost choked on his pumpkin juice.

(Y/N) asking him for help when she was easily the top of most, if not, all her classes? It didn’t make any sense. Maybe it was a trick question? A joke? He searched her expression and found nothing to suggest either of those were her true motive. But he laughed anyway, mostly because he was nervous. 

Her expression shifted from meek curiosity to puzzled offense, and Remus stops laughing immediately.

“Er– did I hear you right? Did you just ask me for help?”

“Yeah,” she remarked, “Maybe I shouldn’t have asked…”

“No, I’d love to help you!” Remus blurted, and he wants to slap himself for sounding so desperate. But a smile fills her lips and Remus stays on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

One assignment turned into two, and then three, until he was spending his Thursday afternoons with (Y/N) in the library. The more he saw of her, the more his fondness for her grew, until he found himself constantly thinking of her. It made being friends with his fellow Marauders torturous, especially Sirius, who likened Remus’ perfectly platonic feelings for (Y/N) to James’ infatuation with Lily Evans.

“Soon, you’ll be following her around like a lost puppy,” Sirius smirked, “Just…don’t take any advice from Prongs, he clearly knows nothing about women.”

“Blasphemy, I tell you!” James snapped, defensively, “Moony, don’t listen to a word of Padfoot’s slander.”

“If you knew anything about women, you’d have Lily Evans on your arm…”

“It’s a work in progress, okay?”

“You gotta admit though, Evans has warmed up to Prongs over the past year,” Peter piped up as he tossed a tennis ball against the wall. 

“Exactly, Wormtail. Wormy is what we call a true friend…” 

Remus snorted, shaking his head. He tuned out to most of James and Sirius’ argument, his mind drifting back to (Y/N)…

“Listen, I’m going to the Library. Don’t wait up for me…” Remus interrupts, collecting his books and hauling them out of the Dorm.

“Moony’s getting some tonight!” Sirius bellowed from behind him, his gleeful quip followed by childish snickering. Remus rolled his eyes but allowed a wry smile to tickle his lips. Sometimes, he really hated his friends…

When he found (Y/N) in the library, it almost didn’t feel right. There was something about her demeanour, her posture, maybe her expression that was strangely grey in contrast to her usual bubbly spirit.

“Hey, Remus,” (Y/N) mumbled, and Remus dropped into the seat beside her.

“Hey, (Y/N). Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she snipped, too quickly for his liking, “Let’s begin, shall we?”

Remus nodded and opened his books, turning to the chapter. They read in silence, (Y/N)’s head bowed in concentration, and Remus couldn’t help but send her furtive glances. Something is wrong, he thought, as he watched her bite her lip and turn the page, and it irritated him like an itch he couldn’t reach because she was usually so radiant.

“Remus, why do you keep helping me?” (Y/N)’s voice splintered his reviere and he looked up at her, confusion knitting his brows.

“What?”

“Why do you keep meeting up with me? Is it because you pity me?”

“W-What?” Remus stuttered, stupidly, “What do you mean?”

(Y/N) sighed, exasperated, “I mean, why do you keep coming back to me when I’m nothing but an ugly, stupid bitch who doesn’t deserve your attention–”

“(Y/N)–”

“–Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? I’m just a disgusting wart who isn’t worth a second glance, because I’m dumb and no one likes me, and no one will ever like me–”

“(Y/N)–”

“–And I’ll just end up fat and alone because I’m ugly and no self-respecting wizard will ever want to marry me–”

“(Y/N)!” Remus interjected, and (Y/N) jumped at his tone, “Where is all of this coming from? What happened to you?”

(Y/N) stared at him, and it was then that he realised her gaze was watery, her eyes glassy from unshed tears. She gave a heavy sigh, blinking back the tears.

“Tracy Burton is what happened to me…” (Y/N) finally mumbled, staring down into her lap.

“Tracy? As in…my ex-girlfriend Tracy?”

“Yes,” (Y/N) whimpered, and a stray tear slipped from behind her lashes and rolled down her cheek. “She cornered me in the girls bathroom and told me everything that I already know. That I’m not smart or pretty…”

Tears poured from (Y/N)’s eyes and Remus wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his chest. She sobbed onto his shoulder, her tears soaking his shirt, and Remus held her close to him like reassurance. She was none of the things Tracy claimed she was, and for (Y/N) to believe her made everything worse.

“Wow I can’t believe she said you were ugly, she is clearly blind,” Remus mumbled against her hair, “Tracy is a blind liar. And that’s why I broke up with her.” (Y/N) sniffled and gazed up at Remus, her eyes pools of melancholy.

“But she’s not the only one who has told me I’m ugly…” (Y/N) choked, “I’m constantly reminded of how pathetic I am, and that’s all I see when I look in the mirror; a failure of a witch who thinks she can play with magic…”

Remus sighed as (Y/N)’s body wracked beside him. He wanted to slaughter everyone who had ever insulted his (Y/N), because she deserved so much more than this. She deserved to be happy, not lied to and ridiculed. In his eyes, she was more beautiful than any sunset he had ever seen, any constellation sprawled across the night sky, any flower in all the rose gardens in the world. He planned on telling her so.

“You don’t deserve this…” Remus muttered as he began to unbutton his shirt, and (Y/N) leaned back, confusion shifting across her face.

“What are you doing?” She croaked.

“I’m going to show you something,” Remus explained, “I haven’t shown many people this, so please, keep this to yourself…”

“Of course,” she whimpered, wiping away her tears.

Remus shed his shirt and (Y/N)’s eyes widened in shock, her lips parted. On display for her eyes only was his bare chest, littered with scars. (Y/N) reached out and traced one with a nimble finger, her eyes following the curve against his skin.

“I’m very self-conscious of my scars,” Remus murmured, “Not only because they’re hideous, but also because they are a simple truth that I will always be hideous. I’m cursed with this…disease…and there is no cure. It’s a living nightmare, and I hate it.”

Remus slipped back into his shirt and buttoned it up. (Y/N) was still silent, so he continued. “This is ugly. Not you. And even if you were, I wouldn’t care. You don’t have to be pretty to be smart and strong, good looks is just an added bonus!” Remus reached up and cupped (Y/N)’s face, his thumb smearing a stray tear, “You are more beautiful than anything I’ve ever known, because you remind me that there is still beauty in this world. You give me hope, and that is worth more than anything you can buy.”

A weak smile graced (Y/N)’s features and Remus mimicked it, before he leaned in and kissed her.

She tasted like strawberries, like a gulp of fresh air, like chocolate after a full moon, and Remus couldn’t help but melt into the warm embrace of her lips. His hands tangled in her hair and her arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed her and she captured the air in his lungs. He wanted to do this forever, until the day he died, he wanted to kiss (Y/N) and feel her kiss him back too.

When they broke apart, and Remus’ eyes fluttered open, he found (Y/N) beaming back at him, her cheeks damp and her lips rosy. He loved the sight of her; he wanted to wake up to her and he wanted her to be the last thing he saw before he fell asleep.

“Woohoo, go Moony!” cheered voices from behind him, and Remus turned to find James, Sirius and Peter lined up in a row, beaming at him. (Y/N) giggled and Remus blushed bright red. The three Marauders sauntered toward their table in the empty library, and Remus scowled at his friends as they threw themselves into a seat.

“Told you they’d end up snogging,” Sirius winked, “Perfect location, too. You’ve chosen well, Moony, (Y/N) is quite the looker!”

“And if Sirius thinks you’re a looker, than he means it,” James grinned, “He doesn’t just go throwing compliments around aimlessly,”

“I didn’t realize it was such an honour to be complimented by Sirius Black!” (Y/N) remarked, sarcastically, her lips twisting into a grin.

“You best believe it, love,” Sirius smirked.

“Not that I don’t like you guys being here but…well…I actually don’t like you guys being here,” Remus grumbled and James leapt to his feet.

“Oh, of course! Our bad. We’re interrupting,” James waggled his brows suggestively, “As you were, children. And keep it chaste, I’m too handsome to be someone’s grandfather!”

The three of them slinked away, snickering to themselves, and a wry smile tugged his lips as he watched them go. With his arm slung around (Y/N), and her head on his shoulder, everything felt right.

Who knew Defence Against the Dark Arts could be so rewarding?

no more prompts, pls.