#james does say yea btw

[sweetmoonlight7]

1. Married

October 1 - jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - wc: 210

Marriage.

The word had never had any real meaning to Regulus.

It wasn't a declaration of love or at the very least happiness. No, most of the time it was a show of power, wealth, and position. Nothing that actually had meaning.

His parents had gotten married young with the only purpose being that of preserving and continuing their pure blood.

Regulus (and his brother) were expected to do the same. To marry someone with enough status and of course a pure-blood heritage to continue on the Black family legacy.

Regulus thought it was stupid.

He would rather never marry over getting married to someone he didn't care about especially just to save face.

Marriage was unnecessary.

For 20 years he continued thinking that way.

Then he met James... or well fell in love with him.

He woke up to see James every morning and fell asleep beside him every night.

And it was perfect. He was perfect and beautiful and all of a sudden getting married didn't seem horrible.

He thought about getting to keep James as his and in turn be James's for the rest of their lives. It was a constant thought in his head.

So he gave in. He went out with Sirius (unfortunately James's best friend) and Pandora and picked out a ring.

It was perfect he thinks and from Sirius's expression his brother thought so too.

Now he just had to figure out how to give it to James but when he thought about that it didn't worry him because he knew James would say yes. He knew that James loved him as much as he loved him and that their idea of marriage was the same now.

[yourlocalshrimp318]

My mom likes Good Omens and is very dissatisfied by the ending

Good day folks! I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. Depends on how you interpret it.

Bad news: I was too tired to write the post on season two ep1 and 2. Good news: I made notes on my mother’s reaction. Bad news: i didn’t write much to it because I was very fucking tired. Maybe good news: we watched episode 3 to 6 this evening, means I can finish this series, also means I’ve got a lot to remember and I am bad at that. Good news: you folks get a whole post on watching season 2 with my mom! A little more good news: she didn’t disown me and I was not grounded. She didn’t even cry. She just really wants a season 3. same, mom, same.

For the first two episodes: *checks phone for notes* as far as I see, she is a shipper. Very much. She is also not further concerned on the angels having typically male names and being played by woman. Which was quite surprising to me. She referred to Micheal as he.

„Has Gabriel lost his mind? And why the fuck is he naked? Didn’t need to see that.“

She complimented the music, it’s very fitting.

She was quite upset that Aziraphale and Crowley just won’t communicate. How right she was.

„Very interesting, I am really excited for the next episodes.“ these shall come now.

So uhhh. Wait, lemme check Wikipedia so I have an overview. Okay I checked Wikipedia and unlike for season one there is no overview thingy for each episode in season two. Very sad. I also got carried away. Anyway this will now come in order of what I remember, very sorry for that. It was much today.

In episode three when the boys were in Edinburgh, she paused to explain to me that it was very common for people stealing corpses. Yes mother I know. I am infected with good omens brainrot, I know a whole lot shit. But thanks.

„Damn Beelzebub looks disgusting.“ nah, when they come to earth they no longer look disgusting. She understood that, when she saw Beelzebub.

We agreed that the punishment for uhmmm German right-orientated people is very okay. Zombies are very ugly. „What is Mycroft doing there?“ (I also watched Sherlock with my mom btw. Interest on that? I’m sure I’ll remember a little bit)

Her reaction to „Jane Austen had balls.“ was amusing. She pulled a 🤨 and continued. Well okay.

(Fuck I have dementia or smth.) (fuck I am incompetent of using the internet, Wikipedia has information on each episode.)

Shax has a very bad taste in clothing. According to my mom. She is right. I think.

„Jim/James/Gabriels coat is so very stylish!“ yea. Please folks, do tell me, did it have a use or deeper meaning?

Before we watched episode 6 I organised tissues. I was surprised we didn’t need them.

„Oh man, the thing with Jim/James/Gabriel and Beelzebub is so cute!“ very much yes.

So. Final fifteen. It was very quiet in the living room. During and after the final fifteen. She didn’t cry (I was so close to cry) but she looked very dissatisfied. I mean I get it. But I was sad, she was like: „when does season three come? Do we know what happens next? That’s just so mean!“

After we turned the TV off we talked about it. She said it was just very tragic, the red-haired one loved Blondie so much and the fact that that Crowley waited at the car to see if Azi changed his mind is heartbreaking. Crowley deserves better. We hope he’s fine. Sadly we don’t know.

I am glad to say that my mom is not infected by the brainrot, which is both good I guess? Yea. I hope I captured most of it but it was a lot and I am tired.

Good day/night Folks!

(Just spend another 15 minutes on tumblr and I really hope I don’t dream of a weird mixture of Good Omens, Merlin and Lord of the Ring lmao)

[pampanope]

hey I just going to say I love your work, I just can't like your posts becuas I'm using a school crombook and my phone storge is too high, so sorry!

but any gays! I'm just worndering what does Peaches think of Oak, does he have any nicknames for him, does he call him James, dose he call him Rat or somethin in a nice way, and how romtaic are they?

and does he think diffntly about Oak's front tooth that's a bit chipped, or the fact Oak's trans? or does he love him no matter what?

also yes I'm one of Mr.1234's many kids at school! that's why we both have bad spelling, Hehe!!!!!>:}

(im not one of shippers btw, burnt boi and 7-11 are just brothers!!!)

HIII❤️ Mr1234s told me all about yall 👀

Thank you!! And it’s cool! Lurking is totally fine, wouldn’t wanna use a school computer for tumblr at all 🤣

Peaches would be wondering, at first. who he is and what he wants; as ex-Konni, he’s not used to Shadow Company’s closer relations with each other.

Probably will call Oak by his last name first but eventually will warm up to and call him by his callsign eventually. Maybe a pet name like Sprout XD

Might not realize Oak’s into him at first. He ain’t exactly dense, but he’s not had many relationships in the past. Someone taking interest in him so soon would not cross his mind. But once he knows, Oak’s gonna get teased big time 😈 the jacket stealing got his attention lmaoo

Pssst he’d think the chipped from tooth is cute lol and Oak being trans? Don’t worry 👍 Peaches would fall for him, period. Being trans is a part of Oak and he’s gonna be into him no matter what :3

(Ppfft yea Pixel is 7-11s lil gremlin bro XD)

[in-flvx]

i dislike the incorrect quote too but i disagree with your tags on that post - i hope that's OK. i don't think remus actually wanted or expected sirius to help him study. yes, he knew him well after 5 years of friendship, he knew sirius was exceptionally bright but he also had to know that sirius wouldn't jump at the opportunity to revise Tranfiguration questions with him. he said what he said because he had let his frustration show for a second ('You might,' said Lupin darkly) and he needed to quickly cover his arse and defuse the tension. he wanted to take a jab at sirius but also avoid having a fight or actually talking about the matter (that's such a classic remus move imo). he knew exactly how sirius would react. and that's why he didn't ask his other friends for help - because he didn't actually want help. remus was trying to entertain and distract a bored sirius in his own way - by offering something to bitch and moan about (remus's swottiness) but james had a better idea (as always lol)

Hi ❤️

I got halfway through my response before I had to look something up and tumblr then deleted all of it 🙄

But yea it's always alright to disagree with me. I don't think we will see eye to eye on this one though.

My read of the 'you might' will probably forever be coloured by the translation I first read, in which Remus basically agrees with Sirius that it would be great if it was a full moon rn. Either way, I never read it as the negative jab (though you're right that would be very Remus), or the tension filled reference to 'the prank' which most people see in it. I'm not saying they're wrong either, I just don't read it that way.

But to the more important part... Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is entirely fanon, and even the language you use is fanon. Sirius, in the text, never bitches or moans about anything, least of all the acquisition of knowledge. He speaks fondly about remus having been the 'good boy' who became prefect, and he never, not once, laughs about people's curiosity or smth. Not even snape, who he insults in every way possible, does he insult for learning. He critizises his posture as he writes, his hair, his clothes, but not the fact that he writes so much or reads between classes. Snapes intelligence is like the one thing Sirius respects about him.

So why would he make fun of something his friend does when he doesn't even do with his enemy.

It's also not something Remus would invite. Being ridiculed I mean. He is very concerned with the way people perceive him, and while he rarely (not never but rarely) appears as aggressive or imposing, he also uses the rules of conversation in his favor. He might not be such a master at it at 15 as he is at 34, but I don't think he'd willingly let someone make fun of him.

Which is also not what happens afterwards btw. Sirius doesn't make fun of Remus for asking for help, or for studying. He just tells him that helping Remus revise won't help Sirius with his boredom and then he moves on.

Further on, we don't know if sirius liked to help his friends revise or not. He certainly doesn't have a problem helping Harry, but that's his godson, and we know that sirius (and James) helped Peter every step of the way to become an animagus. Sirius even sends Harry extra books in ootp to help with the da. Sirius respects knowledge, and intellect. He helps other people furthering their own horizon. He wouldn't bitch or moan about remus trying to learn smth. It's only boring to sirius, who is already bored, and knows everything for the upcoming exam.

Now, idk if Remus actually wanted help, or just entertain Sirius, though I usually also go with the entertainment read of the situation, and just offered a new view with my tags on that post. But Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is as much fanon as Sirius' inability to go a day without commenting on Remus' grandpa sweaters and how cool he is despite them, or Sirius' disbelieve that remus can both read and smoke weed.

I hope this makes sense.

[mothmans-cumrag]

Rewatching The Apple be like

finally! I took a break of about a year but I'm back!

I feel like I'm always saying this but how many people, especially high ranking people does it take for them to go on a mission? because of "strange sensor readings"??

I forgot how hot Bones is, fuck (<- this is also Jim's and Spock's internal monologue whenever they see him, btw)

"Husbandry would be quite efficacious" Spock I had to google that word before I was sure but I think you just proposed

Ah, the garden of Eden was just outside Moscow scene, we've all seen it

So he just used kilometres which I am happy about but before they were talking about the planet having an average of 76° which must mean Fahrenheit. I am confusion

killer flowers over here lol

Scotty fishing for shore leave <3 love him

Pavel using this situation to flirt as if he did't just see a colleague die like two metres in front of him

no matter how often I rewatch it, the explosive rock scene is one of the funniest things ever to me

Spock diving in front of a deadly plant for his boyfriends is the best thing ever to me, sorry not sorry <3<3<3<3<3<3

Oh wow, the transporters don't work, that's something I've never seen before in my life.

Spock calling the hypospray "potion" <3

Jim is so fucking right every time someone jumps in front of someone they could just fucking yell for them to get out of the way. This way it's much more romantic tho so...

These lighting bolts are so... realistic

Three redshirts down, and one of their dads apparently helped Jim get into the academy? But why did the redshirt not get a better job than redshirt if his dad apparently had some sort of influence?

ah, the survivor's guilt mixed with the guilt of being in charge... getting real Hans Kammerlander vibes rn... (google his name and the Manaslu if you don't know what I mean)

"what do you want, Violins?" will now be my answer every time someone comments on my tone of voice

ohhhhh, this was the planet of the Aryans! (not sure if my being German makes it more or less ok for me to say that, but there isn't another word I know for blonde ppl with blue eyes who are conventionally attractive)

Spock just touched this man's chin. With his hand. Is that cheating?

"If you don't get those Warp engine's working you're fired" mate if he doesn't fix them he'll literally die. WHat are you, Hermione?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more

"It makes me uncomfortable" bitch I bet, those things look scratchy as fuck

I like how half of them immediately got rid of these flower things <3 literally me

you tell him Spock! Humans literally are the minority!!!

"stawp fighting!!!! They've got the Enterprise!!!!" Jim I hear you but philosophical arguments are literally my only life source

sex. the word you're looking for is sex.

goddamnit they are all so uncomfortable talking about one of the most natural things in the world, idk if I should be amused or sad for them

awwwww, she calls him Pav!!! they are actually pretty cute

i feel gross watching the natives kiss and idk why

how to kill someone 101

oh really Spock. you telling me James Tiddies out Kirk wants to ignore the prime directive? wow. what a shocker. I am shocked.

Bones stepped on the belt of his tricoder when getting up and for some reason this is endearing to me

This is the third time Spock injured himself this episode and yet he is still capable of more sass than any squatch I know (get it? sasquatch. haha.

Damn, Martha can fight! Oh, and the last redshirt has died

awww hell nah, Scotty lost his job :(

awww hell yea, Scotty got his job back :)

They should give them actual sex ed wtf

the bickering at the end is always my favourite thing <3<3<3<3<3<3 10/10 will watch again (and again and again and again)

[just-another-miserable-prick]

Aight, we're doing this. It's headcanon time.

This is engines 1-6. This is all Sodor High School AU canon btw.

Thomas Gail:

Freshman. Tiny gremlin child. Full of energy and straight up refuses to shut the fuck up. No, he physically can't shut the fuck up. Prankster #1. Much like James, he's very over the top, but instead of his looks, I mean his pranks. Like, this little bitch wrote a whOLE ASS FUCKING MUSICAL for an APRIL FOOL'S PRANK. FOR REAL. (I'll make a post about that whole mess, it's the best fucking thing) Protects Percy with his l i f e.

Edward Belwett:

Senior. Braincell #1 of 2 of the entire Steam Team. Extremely farsighted but simply does not realise that it's a problem. Poor guy just thinks everyone sees the world like he does. (I dare you to try and change my fucking mind, also @zellezel, I'm stealing this, thank you very much) The caring dad friend and the team's designated therapist. Guy's got Rapunzel hair (as in floor length) and only James is allowed to touch it. Why? Let's just say the story involves fire. If you manage to piss him off, good fucking luck. Trans king.

Henry Holt:

Junior. Braincell #2 of 2 of the Steam Team. Very kind, gentle and anxious introvert. Absolutely fucked mentally AND physically (thank his mother- or rather birthgiver for that one) While he is a pacifist, he's known for having lost his cool a grand total of 2 times. (One of these involved Edward) Legend has it he threw a chair once. No one knows the truth though, except for the witnesses. I'd advise everyone to just stay on his good side for their own sake.

Gordon Rask:

Junior. HOO BOI, man be f u c k e d beyond belief. 6th of 8 siblings, parents are divorced, dad's an alcoholic, lord knows where mom went ("no hard feelings tho, good for her" says our local mess of a highschool junior), most of his siblings already booked it, life really went: "Welp- What could go wrong? ¯\_(��)_/¯" *dumps entire content of the Trauma Truck™ on this one guy*. So damn jealous of Scott and thinks or rather hopes that people don't notice. They notice, don't worry. ("I do the exact same thing he does and he gets all the recognition?! What about me?? What am I doing wrong?!") No wonder he's got such a bad temper.

James Bragg:

(This may or may not be me projecting my own issues onto this bitch) Sophomore. Almost homeless, as in his house, or rather what's left of it, could collapse literally any minute- (which it does at one point-) he tries to cover up his misery in public by acting like he's a vain, self-absorbed little sassy twink, and it seems to do the job. For now at least. When he's in private or alone with someone (aHeM, Gordon-) he's a m e s s in pretty much any way you can think of.

Percy Klein:

Freshman. Thomas' adopted brother and tries to be a voice of reason when Thomas is about to do something stupid (or illegal cuz Thomas w o u l d). Normally fails to stop his brother from committing his silly acts of mischief but hey, at least he's trying. Precious baby. If you somehow manage to anger him, he'll cuss you out in fluent German. Then it's over for you. He might as well be summoning a demon for all I know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (<- this coming from someone who studies german. I hate that fucking nightmare of a language.)

Ships? OH HELL YEAH!

To preface, these are just my preferences. If you ship something else, go ahead. As long as it's not like- Inc*st, p*dop*ilia, you know- disgusting shit. Or anything that involves Spencer. This is a Spencer hate blog. ANYWAY

Henry X Edward:

yes yeS YES Y E S- Yea this is my OTP, I fucking love these two, they are my life force and I want them to be my dads- in my mind it's the "slightly more social introvert X anxious mess of an introvert" dynamic and it's the cutest fucking thing. Edward confessed first, on Valentine's day! :D

Gordon X James:

Two fucked up guys looked at one another one day and thought "I could… try to fix him?". That's literally it and I love them. Like they're both absolutely fucked up to no end so they're really the only ones who understand the other's struggles and could help without making shit even worse. Love that they both have someone there for them :D.

Thomas and Percy are brothers in this AU ^^ I know I said it before but I'll say it again.

Thanks to @zellezel for inspiring me to finally write this thing :)

[destinyc1020]

Tom was talking about being involved in uncharted way back in 2017 when he was doing press for hoco and when did he say that this movie was a horrible idea it stemmed from a idea he had and he wouldn’t have signed on to it if he didn’t want to, so I don’t think Sony just announced it without checking with him and he felt obligated to do it or anything.

Yea, I don't ever recall Tom saying that Uncharted was a "horrible idea" either. Maybe Anon can clarify what they mean by that?? 🤔 Perhaps I haven't heard that interview/read it before.

I think Tom had originally pitched the idea to Sony for a young James Bond movie with him playing lead, and I guess Sony encouraged him to do Uncharted instead? That's how I understood it lol. Tbh though, Tom in Uncharted IS kind of like a young James Bond, just w/out the accent. Think about it, he's going treasure hunting, he kicks butt, he has women lol, he's doing all kinds of acrobatic stunts lol... Uncharted basically IS Tom's "Young James Bond" movie lol 😅🤣 Tbh, if Uncharted does well with audiences, then TPTB might actually start looking into him as a possible young James Bond or a James Bond-like character for the future! 😉

We never know... 🤷

Tom seems to manifest a lot in his life lol 😅

***BTW - Tom should be pitching a Young James Bond movie to MGM Studios instead though, since they're the studio that usually does the James Bond movies😅

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Au Volant-part 1

Summary: You were free, you had control until bucky and Steve showed up at your door.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, minor tfawts ep 2 spoilers.

Notes: This is a series btw and I'm not sure how long it'll be (not like I do for any of my series) and yea that's all just know it will be pretty....dark pfft. Also, this does NOT fit in the marvel timeline even if references are made to such.

Steve knew when he was out-matched, hell even before the serum he knew when he'd lose he just didn't know when to stop. Bucky did though and nothing about that had changed in 100 years. Not even now when steves ass was being handed to him. after getting bucky back steve and bucky had gone off on their own mission to find other super-soldiers who may still be alive. of course they expected this to be easier than it was.

Of course, bucky could've just brought steve to Isaiah Bradley but he still knew steve would be pissed after finding out what had been done to him and he just wanted to leave Isaiah to his own thing still.

Then there was you. Bucky met you back when he was first becoming the winter soldier. you were their first test into becoming one of them. of course, your trigger words hadn't been finished before you killed those who were working on you and escaping. it s why they advanced buckys mechanism. You'd had tried to free him but they were already in the works of triggering buckys words.

Bucky knew you were free but only by self-discipline and no one knowing the words aside from hydra who, by this point, you'd spent the last century running from. He wanted you to stay out even if he knew where you were at.

That was until now, they needed another super soldier to win. Sure he could call Isaiah but as far as triggers go you were more likely to not only survive this but even join it. So with that process bucky grabbed steve ignoring his words and ran to your house.

you were 95 years old, despite how you looked. you had managed to escape hydra. Ever since hydra fell you ere truly free for the first time in a long time. you had enrolled in college majoring in history, ironic yes but you figured with your overextended life maybe you could use it and become a history professor.

This was your plan until there was a knock at your door. you figured it was the pizza you had ordered until you opened it seeing a bloody avenger and the weapon that hydra used over and over again to kill people. So with that you slammed the door, locked it, and walked back to your living room. "y/n come on" you heard bucky say. "nope" you yelled back.

"I thought you said shed be willing to help?" you heard steve groan. "I never said willing I said she could help" bucky replied. steve sighed "look y/n I know-" steve started to say "you don't know shit about shit star-spangled man with a plan," you said back.

"I spent the last 70 years running from this man ok. Now I know he is back to Sargent Barnes or whatever crap he was before but guesses what it does mean I am willing to just jump back in the man who was on my ass trying to kill me just yesterday, and it sure as fuck doesn't mean that I am willing to jump back into war" you wished they just go away. You were finally free safe. "steve go" "huh?" "go ill be back with you in a few minutes" and so steve walked away out of hearing distance. bucky said down but your door.

"look y/n I know what you've been through ok. I know they hurt you because they hurt me too. See this difference is I was a soldier before this...you were just someone in the wrong place wrong time. Me and steve here are looking for the others those who were like us, set them free too. Though they seem to either be like you, Isiah, or are still trying to fight. now I'm here because most are trying to fight and they're gathering together and fighting. I don't blame you for not trusting me I get it, some days even I don't trust me but know that I never wanted to hurt you." bucky cleared his throat "I am James 'bucky' Barnes and you are part of my amends" bucky said before the door opened and he fell back.

You stuck your hand out "give it" you said which bucky only looked up at you confused. "come on there's only so many therapists for brainwashed murderes give it" you said again. bucky handed you the tiny book. you opened it and crossed out your name handing it back to him. "get up and get your boy toy over there to come inside. I need to get ready if we're going to war." you said walking upstairs. "so you'll come?" bucky asked. "sure James why the fuck not but be aware you may be fixed but I'm only free out of pure will, soon as someone says the words I'm no longer free" you said walking to your room.

Bucky opened his notebook writing down ten words. he handed the paper to steve. "what's this?" he asked looking down at the words in both Russian and English. "her trigger words. just know as soon as there said she's one of them" bucky knew the words. hydras orders were if he found you to trigger you. "so she's not...." steve trailed off "nope she's only free out of self will" bucky shrugged sometimes he wished he had been able to be like you. "is it safe to bring her?" steve asked fearing what would happen if you became like bucky. "ill be fine" you said from the top of the stairs. you were wearing your gear which consisted of a black long sleeve made out of bulletproof gear that you stole from the police, black leggings for movement, black boots, and a hoodie. your hair was out of your face and you had your daggers on one side of your belt and your guns on the other.

"don't be a moron and say those words and everything will be fine," you said walking down. "now what's the game plan what do I need?" "what you have and spare clothes and weapons," Steve said. you nodded walking to your garage where the rest of your knives and guns were at along with your disguised clothes. "so you said that the soldiers are grouping up and fighting. know why?" "There are only rumors some say they want new hydra, others say they're scared some say they are forming a 'better' hydra," bucky said following you.

you grabbed a bag stuffing clothes in and ammo along with some daggers. "so are we staying with the rest of the little einstens?" you asked turning to steve. you were met with two confused faces. you blinked, how on earth are you, a person on the run, more educated on pop culture than these two "its....its a kids show" you said clearing your throat "im asking if were staying at the avengers headquarters" you said awkwardly. "oh no were tracking the group and certain people, those suspicious and then we just stay in hotels" steve said. you nodded and walked to the front door. "lets go then shall we"

you two got into steves car. "so how come no ones ever heard of you if you were on of them?" steve asked. "got out before i become one fully they never were able to trigger me" you shrugged. "she tried getting me out but...she was too late" bucky looked down. steve shut up from that point on. you all drove to a motel close to where they had seen a few people hiding out at from the sights of it.

the motel was kind of well really bad, not quite what you expected when rolling with the avengers. they said it was to stay undercover, large purchases and such could trigger that someone famous is rolling in. So here you were sat on a rigidy bed in the motel. there was 2 beds but 3 of you so someone had to share. "not it" steve said flopping back onto a bed. you and bucky looked at each other. "come on you two have known each other for almost as long as buck and I" steve said sitting up.

you grumbled sitting on the bed before sighing. not like you slept much so maybe you wouldn't have to actually share the bed. "for tonight we will fill you in" steve said. you 3 sat at a table and they told you the information they have and what they're plan is.

They said how they have a few places where they think people are hiding out based on the hours of activity and a few spots look like people are hiding out there. They said their plan was talk until people started noticing bucky and then chose to fight, then they came to you. Now their plan was talk but with back up incase shit takes a turn again.

Bucky and steve had gone to sleep but you were still up sat at a table. you were sharpening your daggers. you were zoned out for a while at this point. you didn't sleep often due to fear that if you let your guard down you wouldn't be able to hold back the soldier part of you. you really only slept when you were on the verge of passing out. This started when one night you had a dream, not long after you escaped, of the man saying the words. you felt your whole brain shift, luckily you woke up and were able to push back before anything happened. since then it was too close of a call to risk anything ever again.

You saw movement and looked up seeing bucky look around in almost a panic before he saw you. his breathing steadied "hey" he whispered out of breath. you nodded to him "you ok there?" "hmm? yea why are you up isnt it late?" you looked at the clock. last you looked it was 12am. you shrugged "same reason your up" "guess being brainwashed has its cons" you huffed "ysupposeou could say that"

"you sleep at all" bucky asked standing and walking to you. "i sleep when i feel like im going to pass out" you returned back to sharpening your daggers "last time i casually slept the world almost had another winter soldier" you scoffed "never doing that shit again" you looked up at bucky. his hair was a mess and a thin layer of sweat covered his chest. he was definitely muscly and you'd be lying if you said he wasn't hot.

"you should rest ill watch over you make sure you don't change" he said looking at you. "no its fine got another" you looked down at your watch looking at the date "few days before i pass out" you shrugged. "y/n. sleep" he stated. you shook your head. bucky groaned, walked to you and threw you over his shoulder "come on sleep time" he said putting you on the bed. you groaned but soon as you were laying down you felt your eyes insticntly close. "stupid body" you grumbled

soon slumber took over. bucky smirked down at you. you two were one in the same except while he was forever free you, you were free on pure will and keeping your guard up. "ill keep you safe doll, no one will change you even yourself" he said brushing the hair from your face. soon he felt as peace seeing you so calm and he laid next to you. the bed reminded him of the ones in the military. sleep took him over not too longer after.

[some-gryfindor-ranter]

Has much I love to rant about Snape, I give credit and you know what

Albus Dumbledore was WAY worse then him. That even SNAPE called him out on it.

Why I think he's worse well to put it simple everything was planed I mean EVERYTHING. How Harry was abused by relatives how Harry was the only one that found out information. I mean any kid would be curious and yet only Harry and the gang were the ones who were able to do ALL of this and in the end of most the saving grace Albus comes last minute.

He was raising Harry which he KNEW Harry was Voldemort horcrux. Hes smart he is well known to be smart and powerful, he hangs around Harry and get him to tell him everything.

So some information and a little warning ⚠️. This does have a little about abuse, and I know abuse from my own past at least some reactions.

Now I gave a warning for the first start also known as the beginning and where Harry lost his parents. Why didn't his parents get more protection I mean obviously they were loved and the order of phoenix was around seeing both Lily and James were a part of the group. Yet they couldn't stay at the castle? Couldn't go out of country? I mean if I went into hiding I wouldn't be near the the area at all. And seeing how the potters were so wealthy, but keep note Albus is the one that gave the suggestion of a secret keeper. And how about Neville parents why didn't THEY get more protection either I mean there were two families that could have it only two it would be simple to get them to a more safe area. Yet thanks to a rat they were killed and didn't the order knew how the mauraders were shifters by then? How about in the book Sirius DID try to take Harry before he went and attack Peter, but was denied by Hagrid telling him how Albus wanted Harry. Yea it all started there.

Hary abuse: Harry abuse is very apprent between each beginning of the book but you get the most information about it in the very first book/movie. Now while the movie shows some Harry abuse was a lot more serve then was first shown. Harry was starved no money was spent on him, Dudley a lot of times was told to go on "Harry hunting" and how one of Dudley friend would hold Harry still while Dudley punch him. Or how it was also noted the fact Vernon told dudley to use the fire place fire stick on Harry when he didn't get the mail. So he was both mentally by physically abused, he everything on his own and everything he was told in the while it was beaten into him not ask questions. He was publicly shamed several times, he talked about more of a object then a person. Key note you know Vernon sister well she drowned puppies if they weren't "perfect" or how Harry was bitten by her main dog. It was a miracle that Harry survived at all or even turned out more light as he had. BUT it does form him into doing everything head down which is very easily taken advantage of. Minerva told that these were the worse kind of people to give Harry too. He did it, which btw is a form of kidnapping but he knew they would be abusive. By Minerva own words "you KNOW these are the worst" he knew he was giving Harry a abusive household and it was all to shape Harry for the future.

1ft year: Harry first year, he was biast against Slytherins tho Draco did not help at all seeing he reminds Harry of Dudley. But the fact Albus let Hagrid pick up Harry now I love Hagrid he's absolutely a sweet heart but he is a loose lips. And sending him on a mission while picking up Harry? Then his grand speech and how he says no one is allowed certain places then only have 1 person watching the floor? How Harry just so happen to get his dad cloak WHICH he got from albus how albus just so happen to get it and then gave it too a first year. How no one once again was watching over the stone or better yet watching the mirror. How Harry shows signs of abuse, or better yet how about the punishment with the woods. During a time we knew something bad is going on after the troll? Everything seem to guide Harry, what's even better somehow dumbledore knows everything that has happened but he wasn't at the school?. How he hestait on the socks we all know that's not what he wanted. This year and second he focus on getting Harry trust between Ron speaking all good about him and how Harry was raised not to ask questions.

2nd year: In his second year Ginny was slip with very powerful very dark magic and was possessed. How the fact no teacher no other person manage to find out how what creature it was ESPECIALLY AFTER IT PETRIFIED A GHOST a ghost yet not a single person just Hermione finds out what it was. Or how no one asked the last victim of the creature I mean the girl was right in the bathroom everyone knows her and the timing was there she died when the last time the chamber was open. Harry then with Ron and the sorry excuse of a professor get into the chamber. Harry also in this year also get students turned against him while he himself is friends with muggleborns and halfbloods along with purebloods yet the school has a habbit a horrible habbit turning on Harry and no one not the teachers not any other students standing up. Where is the great Dumbledore well he's just gone again like Harry first year. Worse the fact is once Harry is fighting the snake ALONE just somehow Albus phoenix knew where to go? Just somehow in LAST MINUTE saves harry and destory the eye sight. The Phoenix only listens to albus, seeing that a couple times too. And to show up with the Hat along side it all of this happen when Harry and Ron told no one their plan. Yet somehow the bird comes and save Harry along with said Hat with the sword and the hat doesn't speak which is weird. I mean first how did they know that Harry was there second when Harry does come back and tell him what happened Albus only smiles THATS ALL!?. The sword is now laced with the vemon, but I'll talk that about it later.

3rd year: It's been noted that Sirius NEVER got a trail never got anything of the sort but he was guilty base on how he was found laughing and "admitting". Albus with his way too many titles does have one that speaks very load "Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot" why I mention that one well that title has a very interesting The Chief Warlock was the title seeing if one is given to the wizard that presided over the Wizengamot, overseeing parliamentary affairs and court procedures.

MEANING he could have easily have gotten Sirius a trail, not only that is the fact he helped sirius through out the order of phoenix. When Sirius does come back he knew how Hermione and Harry went back in time that was noted how in times he would block somewhere so the two were like in the nurses area how he distracts Fudge but he then had no idea which gives off more of feeling how he knew Sirius was inocent yet never did anything. I mean he doesn't ask ANYTHING but suddenly let Sirius join back in the order? I mean look directly there was a truth potion or the trio memories that would prove Sirius to be innocent. Yet HE STILL DOESNT DO IT letting Black count on him to keep him hidden. He has the power, he has the proof no rat needed and yet Sirius was still a criminal? Yes well no not in law form seeing you would need a trail but point is he built himself to be trusted more by Harry and the order after all he did "save" Sirius and now help hide him. Yea no, that was very much plan even if it was in a fast paste it was very clear how much of it was plan.

4th year: The great Goblet of fire, how Albus never figure out how his BEST FRIEND was being off and well not his friend at all, how Harry was forced into a killing Contest. Harry 4th year was just awful between everything I mean do I have to say? How no one check the chains on the dragon how everything went on EVEN THO IT IS SHOWN SOMETHING IS WRONG?! Like there was no questions how the dragon escape I mean that's a huge point hey something up and we need to do more to get security if that wasn't enough how about the attacks. How Albus just leaves Harry to deal with everything Harry was alone beside Hermione I mean every time he tried to reach out for Sirius just somehow Sirius on a mission? How afterwards no one demanded too look into why Cedric dies I mean the killing curse leaves no marks it was very clear how he died. I mean did no one wanted to look into this and just blame Harry? Why wasn't there anything done? AGAIN ALBUS shows he knows Mad eye is not mad eye along with everything on how calm his reactions are. I mean one can be blinded but I mean he seemed so okay. The castle would have alerted with the wards around the school there is no way absolutely non for how smart Dumbledore is which was a consistent note through out the years is how smart Albus is. And this book goes on how close Mad eye is too albus. The 4th year was showing and confirming even more how the fact Harry connection to Voldemort. And the beginning of the war.

5th year and the rest of years: The darker part is so then harry would be broken he would count only on the certain people one of them is Hagrid and who is Hagrid most loyal to ALBUS. It would be so easy, Harry has no one, not a single person would realize Harry being used as a tool. For this Harry needs to isolated beside people who would not question Albus such as Ron, Hermione (especially her) the weasleys, Remus (for obvious reasons I mean werewolfs don't get any rights). Sirius needed to die, so what better then to get Harry tricked which he knew Voldemort can get into Harry head and yet did nothing but have Snape "help" (I still don't think he helped out there but at least he was planing on killing a kid.) But did nothing to stay around to talk to Harry more about it did nothing and tell Harry of the information. He needed to kill Sirius beacuse he was a threat he was letting Harry make his OWN choices he was on HARRY side not light or dark. But he was under Albus thumb and albus crushed it, destroying Harry even more. Harry through out the books mention how fine he was with dying and accepts it but Sirius actually brings in a new light along with Remus. It would be the very few times he was so excited about something and actually have hope. Hope makes people want to live, hope could bring up confidence, HOPE makes people question and think. Albus had to crush it, what a better way then not prepare Harry enough for a trap that was set up. Aka while it was Trix that killed Sirius but that doesn't mean it wasn't plan seeing apprently Sirius was sent on SEVERAL missions.

Killing Harry was the plan as soon from the beginning and Albus had this so then he could get more power for "greater good". Even HIS OWM BROTHER has mention how Albus sacrifice so much to gain power. Albus life was full of using people from and right, he keeps everyone who did question him far away. Albus full goal was to gain power using Harry. He's not light, he's just using that title in truth he manipulative and is on his own road.

Now as for if Ron and Hermione was a part of this well I have no idea.

Here I'm just repeating my rant sorry but honestly I just re read ALL the books and the watched the movies and mmMMMMm.

"Hagrid did you open the chambers"

Hagrid under the potion: "no"

"Okay you are free to go"

SO SIMPLE. And how about revealing Tom riddle name I mean how come no one tells everyone how TOM IS A HALFBLOOD. That would make him loose so much support. But now but that wouldn't give Albus control or power. He just needed to tell the right info but not all to only certain people. I mean that's more proven when Credric dies, you can go to Harry memories see Voldemort has infact come back and how Cedric did die. But once again he let the school and the full Wizarding world turn their back on Harry breaking even more trust. Then get the kids to turn on people what's better then let a Pink frog in and ABUSE the kids. This would make people trust Albus more especially over the ministry. More power and no questions. Back to the point when Harry dies he simply "grieve" and along with the some people. THEN HE COMES IN AND BOOM kills the Bad guy no one would question him about plans he had just go off the story Albus tells them.

But his plan didn't involve himself dying like he did, he probably didn't know of the soul part in the ring. Why would he wear a ring? Especially a LORD ring of something he is not lord of? Well simple he didn't know about the soul hence why he set Harry to go hunting people the only thing that can find one is another horcrux then the only thing that can destory one is Basilisk vemon. Harry 2nd year (which is noted above) to just happen to kill the beast all of that connects for harry later in the future to be destory the horcruxs of Voldemort.

Like said and seen or read (I did both watch the movies and read the books) Albus dies which definitely not his plan along side with Snape FINDING OUT. While yes I find Snape to be creepy about Lily and how he treats hogwart children like a gaint bully, I give credit and he stood up for Harry which is seen in Snape memories this would show how Snape did change but it doesn't excuse his actions but does show his character growth beacuse albus replies this is not word from word but close "Don't tell me you got close with the boy, I believed you hated him" or something really close. The fact he also calls Harry "boy" and more over his name shows he wasn't getting attached to Harry this becomes more apprent during "Harry Potter and the order of phoenix"

This was a long rant sorry if this doesn't look good or is just horrible, it's like 3 am and I havnt gotten any sleep for 2 days.

[nexyra]

James Ironwood, for character ask? 👀

Aaaa thank you so much for the ask ♡ More rambling incoming !! Sorry for the wait btw, I've been both pretty busy and tired ;;

If you hate James Ironwood and don't wanna hear one good thing about him tap out now please ��

My fav ship(s) for the character

I am not a super big shipper when it comes to James, but there are still some I like more than others soo here goes :

I think Ironwitch is a pretty good one. It's not necessarily a ship I'd search content for but I think these two would work well together ! Glynda is stern and honest and a no-nonsense kind of woman. She has the strenght to stand up to James when he slips or gets too stubborn when faced with the high stakes. At the same time, we've been shown that she cares for him and she knows he's only trying to do what's best for people. She has faith in him but also the ability to stand at his side as an equal. She seems to be the more steadfast of Ozpin's circle : loyal, you know you can trust her, and she will not crumble. This is the kind of personnality that I think James both admire and feel safe with. And the other way around, I think James is a good match for Glynda too. On a day to day basis, he's serious enough to not annoy here, but he's also a softie in some aspects and that's a nice combination to smooth out Glynda's edges.

Ironqrow is a completely different dynamic. The "we're annoying each other" dynamic is not one I'm particularly interested in usually xD But these two certainly had strong & interesting moments so it's a pretty valid ship !! Despite how they might butt heads because of the difference in their upbringing they (prior to V8) clearly trusted each other with their life. Even if Qrow jokes about shooting himself if he had to be one of James' man, when everything goes to shit there is no doubt in his mind that James wasn't responsible. Similarly, while James talks of shooting Qrow for his misbehaviour, when push comes to shove and we meet a tired Ironwood, run ragged by the pressure he's under... the only thing he does is hug him and reiterates how glad he is to see him. So again, they clearly have a lot of faith and trust in the other, and that's solid ground for a relationship.

My least favorite ship(s) for the character

Same spiel as always, shipping kids and adults is a big no from me; so any ships between Ironwood and RWBYJNOR can qualify here. That said, among the less uncomfortable ones, here are those I don't really like

This one is again because I love their relationship but platonically only, I'm talking of Winter Soldier. The reading I like best is not that Ironwood is Winter's Jacques 2.0, nor that he groomed her; but that he was an important father figure in her life. Protective and caring, who tried to help her escape with what he knew. I don't see James recruiting Winter as a way to gain a strong ally. But rather that Winter wanted to detach herself from her family name, and make something worthwhile of herself all on her own. And that the military is what Ironwood knows and understand, so naturally it's a career he'd see as a good path. Just like Winter then proposed it to Weiss. I like to think they care about each other a LOT and they're their own tight family in between the lines, even if professionalism might throw a wrench into it. For short I love them together but not romantically please =)

I don't know if there's a ship name for this, but Salem x James Ironwood would be a big nope from me too... In general, let's just assume I ship Salem with nobody because abuse.

My fav & least fav platonic relationship(s) for the character

Fav platonic relationship would be (have been because we dont talk about V8?) with Winter. Fooor the reasons I've explained above I suppose x) I (again) love the trust they had in one another and the quiet support.

There was also his relationship with Oscar that I really liked during V7, although it has been soured a bit by the (valid) reading from some people that Ironwood sought out Ozpin a lot through Oscar, and given his identity issues it is not ground for a greatly healthy relationship. Their interactions were still very intersting though ♡ I consider Oscar to be the kid who went at trying to appease James' fear or make him reconsider his decisions the best way. There was true understanding and hope for a working relationship here. I do feel that Oscar put in more work than James however (emotionally) and I wish there had been pay-back instead of a gunshot.

For my least fav relationship ? Probably Robyn or Watts ? Robyn was always very antagonistic toward Ironwood since their priorities are so different. And I overall just don't really like her after V7 so there are very few relationships with her I'm interested in (the exception is her ship with Fiona I think it's cute). Meanwhile, Watts is just a petty asshole hell bent on ruining Ironwood because he didn't pick his project. I'm not very interested in hate relationships, and since theirs wasn't deeply explored anyway, it's even more the case here. Their fight was great though, one of my favorite RWBY fights !

My favorite thing about the character

Well this was completely proven wrong by V8 buuut as of V7 I liked that he was a deconstruction of the military general (dictator) trope. Sooo you can guess how i feel about V8 X) In general among RWBY, several of my fav are fav BECAUSE they look like one trope but also have key differences that from the get go make the character stray away from said trope. For example I'm not a fan of the princess tsundere archetype at all, but I loooved Weiss in V1 BECAUSE she was extra-willing to listen and change her mind, and you could very easily tell that it was her upbringing speaking more than herself in most occasions.

Similarly, I wasn't a big fan of Ironwood before V7. I didn't hate him you know and he wasn't lower than most characters in my Tier list but I also didn't particularly care. But you know what ? I've aaaalways had a really soft spot for the "angsty angry traumatized teen". And RWBY made the mistake of extending that soft spot to "tired adults trying their best" (only to repeatedly beat them up/make them villains after making me care about them but what can you do uh)

Soo in general, I loved that Ironwood was trying so hard. I loved that he was tired and in over his head but learning and listening and trying to do good and be better despite his fears. I liked that he told his entourage about Salem and was loyal. I liked that he cared about helping the people above his own image and the way people perceived him. I liked that you could tell this was a terrible situation all around, and his decisions WERE questionnable but we could SEE that he meant WELL and was genuinely trying so hard despite how scared and tired he was.

My biggest criticism for the character

Well this won't be a surprise but in general I just wished he had stayed a morally grey character we were allowed to feel for instead of a cartoon black villain. I didn't need James to be THE Hero or anything like this despite some accusations levelled at those who like him. Him becoming one of RWBY's antagonist is honestly fine by me ! It is interesting. But I'd have preferred they kept him ambiguous and trying in his own way. (And smart because V8 Ironwood was dumb af)

I can be a tad overprotective of his character since he's just... so despised, so I think that I have inadvertently distanced myself from any of his flaws... somehow like "people are already yelling all of them so I don't need to add to this shit show" you know ? skjfkd But I KNOW he has them and it would still have been good to develop his flaws, just... not like that

But yea I'd have liked it if V8 Ironwood DID diverge from RWBYJNORQ and became an antagonist but not an iredeemable villain. LIKE,, we redeemed Hazel and Emerald and IRONWOOD is where the writers draw the line by saying "nope this one is rotten" ?? What ?

When was their writing at the peak according to me (ex : best season)

V7 definitely ! Ironwood carried V7 so hard haha. His character was fleshed out and given nuance and made to struggle and evolve and I loved him in that volume.

A song I think fits them & why

Hunger • Monsters & Men Human • Rag'n'Bone Man Way down we go • Kaleo Beekeeper • Keaton Henson Thistle and weeds • Mumford and Sons Castle of Glass • Linkin Park It's all so incredibly loud • Glass Animals

A headcanon to make up about them

His metal parts impact his metabolism so Ironwood is terrible at holding his alcohool and very little manages to knock him out. He's a workaholic. His low tolerence for alcohool is a great tool whn friends need to put him to sleep.

His joints crack and hurt in the cold, his metal parts as well and they are an hassle in the sand. James like to keep his room temperature warmer than the average atlasian because of this, otherwise he has to spend 30 min every morning simply unwiding muscles to move around efficiently.

He's not a good singer but has a nice low voice for telling stories. If he had kids, he'd probably avoid lullabies but compensate with bedtimes stories.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

As always, I'm kind of reflecting along the way as I write this, and one thing I'm thinking right now is... Doesn't it take away from the atlas arc message ITSELF to just pile up so many "standard bad guy" stuff on Ironwood ? Like, I wanna ask... why do we hate him ? Is he an antagonist because he lets fear get the best of him ? Because he's a classist who doesn't care about Mantle like some fans argue ? Because he's too stubborn and wants to be THE hero ? Because he doesn't listen to others ? Because he abandonned Mantle ? Because he kills peopke left and right ? Because he wanted to bomb a city ? I think you might see where I'm going with this : his status as villain is kind of messy. V8 just kept piling-up flaws and villainous actions onto Ironwood with no concern for whether this was a lenght he would go to (using the certainty that he would go to any lenghts to enact his plans), ,or whether these were one of the initial flaws/failings that led to his "fall" as an antagonist. What lesson is Ironwood supposed to learn ? Personally the very first time I yelled at my screen "No ! Why would the writers choose that ?" is when Ironwood shot Oscar. When answering criticism against medias, many people tend to look at it only through the lense of "well it makes sense in universe" or as if there were no other ways for the story to devolve. But at the end of the way, everything in a story is a choice from the writer even if it is influenced by the characters' personnalities. If I took the scene where Ironwood shoots Oscar, someone might tell me "he's crippled by his PTSD, he COULD do this." Maybe, that's a reading I can somewhat understand at least. But the writers have the power to NOT put his character in such a position. When I saw the wreck that was V7 finale, I ranted to my bestfriend about it and at no point did i say "why did Ironwood do that", I said "why did the writers make him shoot Oscar, the only point narratively would be to make irredeemable" Aaaand that's what they went for and I obviously didn't care for it. So if I had to rewrite it; I would have kept Ironwood's "mistakes" more focused. If he's wrong because he wants to abandon Mantle, because he's (understandably) scared and doesn't want to take risks; then stay focused on that. It's what makes RWBY leave, and out of all his V8 actions that's really the only thing RWBY needed to tell the whole world he wasn't an ally anymore apparently. - Don't make him shoot Oscar point blank, instead Oscar can simply fall because he flinches away from Ironwood's outburst; and a distraught/guilty Ironwood can decide that he doesn't have the time or capacity to help because of the tense situation. (Killing and not saving someone don't hold the same moral weight at all). - Don't make him kill people left and right or bomb cities, maintain the flaw of Ironwood struggling with his PTSD and his fear and not being able to take risks. - Don't paint him as a black villain, and eventually write V8 in such a way that RWBYJNORQ show taking risks might lead to a bigger victory, which was the volume's theme anyway. For example, following Oscar's destruction of the whale, a growth can occur that would bring back together the two anti-Salem factions : Oscar's risk put Atlas out of harm's way, which leads to Ironwood seeing that maybe there WAS a way to save Mantle as well as Atlas despite Salem's presence and he might have jumped the gun too quickly because of his fears. I'm not sure, I haven't thought about this extensively honestly but I hope you see what I mean. I think it would have been more focused & more in-character to focus Ironwood's failings on his fear; and the fact that he cares for the people and the greater good sometimes at the cost of the individuals. The idea that by sacrificing individuals too much you forget the people you're fighting for in the first place, could have been interesting to dig deeper into. Keep to the idea that Ironwood is somewhat disensitized to the individuals suffering for the sake of the greater good, instead of making him just

callous & uncaring.

My guess for their MBTI/Enneagram

I think pre-V8 Ironwood was an unconventionnal ENFJ. Aka, the type of character no one would type ENFJ because they go by stereotypes and Fe stereotypes are just enneagram 2 everywhere (aka nice, kind, helpful) whereas Ironwood has an enneagram tritype very common among xxTJs so that's what he looks/behaves like, but the way he thinks (what's best for the people, ethical values derived from an Atlasian upbringing) align more with Fe cognitively I think I'm going with ENFJ 6w5 1w2 3w4

Starting from V8 though, Ironwood veered clearly into ENTJ territory (types aren't supposed to change but I wouldn't say RWBY is the most consistent media when it comes to characters' personnalities)

One aspect that I think would be nice to delve deeper into ?

I understand why they didn't care to, but it'd have been interesting to get a few backstory hints for Ironwood. How did he lose half his body ? How did Oz recruit him ? Or some pieces about his upbringing ?

[whindsor]

the trials of online dating, part 2

hey @witchofinterest you’re still inspiring me btw

Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left-

Mika thought, with all the options available to her, that online dating in NYC would be a breeze. In truth, it didn’t even have to be dating. She just needed friends that weren’t her sister or her sister’s boyfriend.

Swipe left, swipe left, swipe - oh, hold on.

Mika furrowed her brow, glad that the handsome man on the screen couldn’t see the double chin she sported as she curled up on the couch. James Bucky Barnes. She’d heard that name before. Where had she heard it before?

A quick google search reminded her, making her sit up and stare down at her phone. Now when she looked at his picture, she remembered how sad he looked during the trial, how tired he was when he took the stand to talk about all the things that happened to him. TIME magazine ran article after article about the years he lost.

And now he was trying online dating? Good for him.

Mika stared long and hard at the screen. He was cute, and he also probably felt a little misplaced here in New York. Or, this was a fake account, and she would be disappointed. Again.

Hiking. Technology. Reading. Well, they had two out of three things in common.

Fuck it.

She swiped right before she could think too hard about it, going through a few more profiles before deciding that no one was going to strike her interest until she figured this James Bucky Barnes situation out. So she put her phone down and went about her afternoon, baking some bread for the week and cleaning the fridge out. She hated cleaning the fridge out, but since she was currently mooching of her sister in the studio apartment, she needed to do a little extra work.

She wasn’t surprised when her phone dinged later. She was surprised to find that it was James Bucky Barnes, accepting her match.

Interesting.

Her stomach did a flip. She wasn’t cool enough to match with the former Captain America’s best friend, and definitely didn’t expect him to go for the Romanian girl.

Had to be a catfish.

Mika: Is this really Mr. Barnes?

She was going to get to the bottom of this. If he messaged her back, then she could get on the web app and trace his IP address and see where it was registered. She wasn’t positive on the legality of that action, but safety came first. Her phone dinged again. A message!

James: Unfortunately.

The response made her laugh out loud, any thought of tracing his whereabouts fading. A catfish wouldn’t respond like that.

Mika: Deciding to try online dating? You’re becoming a real modern man, James! James: My therapist made me.

Ouch, okay, so maybe he wasn’t into the dating part. Mika was about to switch her tactics when he messaged again.

James: Sorry, that was short. Still getting the hang of this. James: You can call me Bucky. James: If you want.

Mika smiled down at her phone. There was something magical about the guy not caring about sending multiple texts in a row. Any girls she dated didn’t mind it, but men were always wanting to look all stoic. Mika found that the less they talked, the more desperate they were.

Mika: Nice to meet you, Bucky. I’m Mika. James: Nice to meet you, Mika. James: I saw you’re from Romania. Have you lived in New York long? Mika: Just a couple months. Moved here after the Blip. James: Oh, I’m sorry. That must be tough. Mika: Could be worse. I’m staying with my baby sister who is now, technically, older than me. Mika: How is it being back here?

Well if he didn’t think she was a creepy stalker, he did now!

James: Weird. So many things are different. James: But even weirder, some things are the same.

When Mika blipped back, it was hard enough to figure out everything that changed in five years. If the TIME articles were correct, Bucky was back in New York after leaving eighty years ago. She couldn’t even imagine how weird everything felt for him. And how lonely he must be.

Mika: So what’s the most important thing for me to check out? Mika: You know, since you’re a true New Yorker.

That was a safe enough topic, right? She hoped so. Centenarian or not, he was the first person to message her that didn’t ask for pictures, and she was in desperate need of someone chill. It took a while for Bucky to respond, long enough that she was utterly convinced that she’d said something wrong.

James: Totonno’s is where we used to go for pizza all the time. If you want good cheesecake, Junior’s is the best. Mika: Oh, I like both of those things!

She paused, hoping that the next message would be him asking her out. Of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

James: Let me know if you like them. James: If it’s any consolation, they still taste the exact same. Mika: Good to know. I’ve also been on the hunt for a Romanian place. Mika: Know of any? James: Not right off hand, but I can do some research. James: I spent some time there, before the Blip. Mika: Really?? Where?? James: Bucharest. Mika: No shit! I lived there! Mika: I was on the south side, in Rahova. James: …so was I. Mika: What apartments? I was Bloc 70 B.

The dots hovered, then disappeared, then hovered again, then disappeared again. Mika held her breath, but couldn’t maintain it long enough before having to take in a gulp of air. Bucky still didn’t respond. Was that too intimate a question? God, she hated this online thing sometimes.

Finally, her phone lit up again.

James: Did someone send you. Mika: What? No. Mika: I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? Mika: I know they weren’t the fanciest apartments, but…

Another ten agonizing minutes, then,

James: I’m sorry. I lived in those apartments too. James: I get spooked pretty easily nowadays.

Mika let out a huge breath of relief. Okay, good, so she wasn’t some inconsiderate asshole. Her and Bucky just had the weirdest coincidences.

Mika: That’s fair! Mika: How do I know you’re not the one following me?

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

James: I don’t do that anymore. James: That…probably didn’t help my case.

Oh thank God, he was just as awkward as she was. And at least he had the excuses.

Mika: Meh, not the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. James: Same. James: Wish I could even say getting blipped was.

Don’t do it, don’t ask it, don’t say it -

Mika: What’s the weirdest thing then?

Fuck.

James: When Steve tripled in size. James: Thought I was hallucinating. Mika: Oh God, I can’t imagine! Mika: It’s weird enough that Nicoletta is a year older now Mika: At least she’s the same size James: Do you have other siblings?

Mika tapped the edge of her phone. She never did figure out how to word this without eliciting a pity party. But hey, Bucky of all people would probably understand.

Mika: We had an older sister. She passed away. James: I’m sorry to hear that. Mika: Thank you. James: My sister passed away about 20 years ago. James: Obviously, I was not there. Mika: Have you visited her grave? James: Yea, in the first couple weeks I was here. James: Will you think I’m an asshole if I say it was anticlimactic? Mika: Not at all. Mika: Last time I visited Raisa I called her a selfish bitch so Mika: You’re in good company

Too much information, that was too much information.

Bucky sent back…a laughing emoji.

James: That’s how you know you were close. James: My mother got mad at me because Rebecca thought her name was “Stupid Baby�� for a long time. Mika: Aw, you were much nicer to your sister than I was haha James: Well, it was the ’20’s. James: Things were a little different. Mika: Were you a flapper? Mika: Don’t lie. James: I would never. James: Lie, that is. James: I was definitely a flapper. James: The cutest damn toddler flapper you’d ever see. Mika: Pics or it didn’t happen. James: I don’t know what that means. Mika: It means I want photographic evidence. James: Cameras weren’t invented yet. Sorry.

Man alive, James Bucky Barnes was funny.

They kept going back and forth, attempting a more normal conversation. It was, Mika found, a very nice conversation. He was someone she liked talking to, and he seemed to enjoy talking to her too. Or at least he was really good at faking it. 

“Why are you smiling so much at your phone?” Nicoletta asked later, giving her an odd look from her easel. Her boyfriend had already gone to bed, leaving them to watch whatever they wanted on Netflix. Of course that meant they put on a baking show and proceeded to do anything but watch it.

“Huh? I’m not smiling at my phone.” she said, tucking said phone into her lap.

“Don’t be dumb.” Nicoletta said, brandishing her paint brush like a knife. “Who are you talking to? You better not say-“

“Ew, no, not him.” Mika said, cutting her off before she could utter the name of her ex. “Just…someone I met on HiLove.”

“I thought we talked about those dating apps.”

“I’m lonely! I need friends.” she said. “He passed the background check.”

“Let me see a picture.” Nicoletta said, coming over. Mika sighed, thumbing through the app to find Bucky’s profile, and the one picture he had. She hoped her sister didn’t notice the two unread messages in the corner. “Hmm. Okay, he’s handsome.”

“Yes.” Mika agreed. In fact, he was becoming more handsome as the afternoon went on. “And he’s funny too. And smart.”

“Ok, calm down. You just started talking to him.”

“I know! I’m not like, proposing marriage.” Mika said, rolling her eyes. “I just like talking to him so far. That’s all.”

“Uh huh. I know how it goes with you ‘talking’ to good looking people.”

“About as well as it does with you.” she pointed out. “Pre Steve, of course.”

“Of course.” Nicoletta said. “Have you discussed future plans? Deepest fears? Favorite sexual positions?”

“I hate you.”

“These are important questions!”

“I’m going to bed.”

“No phone sex on the first day!”

“I really hate you!” Mika sang, pulling the curtain around the little area in the studio apartment that counted as her room. It was late, and she probably should go to bed anyways. But Bucky was still up, and they were currently discussing movies. Turned out, he was way behind.

Mika: Star Wars? James: Nope. It’s on the list. Mika: Star Trek? James: Also on the list. Mika: Pride and Prejudice? James: Isn’t that a book? Mika: And a movie! My favorite one. James: Guess I’ll move that to the top of the list then.

Was he…flirting? Mika couldn’t deny the smile on her face now, even as her eyes struggled to stay open. Nicoletta went to bed, and with the light off, staying conscious was becoming a struggle.

Mika: Good answer. James: Ever seen Wizard of Oz? Mika: …no. A little before my time. James: Ouch.

Despite the humor and the fun conversation, she could feel the fatigue setting in. She was so afraid to stop talking, afraid that tomorrow he would change his mind, or find someone cooler than her. But she couldn’t stay up all night anymore, she wasn’t in her 20’s.

Mika: Unfortunately, I think I need to sleep. James: I understand. It is really late.

She paused, tapping the edge of her phone. What was the worst he could say? No?

Mika: Talk to you tomorrow?

Apparently it was his turn to pause, long enough that she nearly fell asleep before her phone buzzed again.

James: I’m looking forward to it. James: Goodnight, Mika. Mika: Goodnight, Bucky.

She went to sleep with a smile.

[kokoenthusiast]

Let's Talk BasketBall Jokes

Kevin: Hey guys i got a joke for you

Everybody: Yea

Kevin: Who's the best basketball player in the WORLD?

Roach: Stephen Curry?

Tyler: Micheal Jackson?

Shope: LeBron James?

Gym: Koby Bryant?

Rooks: Chris Paul?

Tyler: Who's Chris Paul?

Rooks: For me to know and For you to google

Tyler: -_-

Kevin: No to all of those!

Rooks: Then who is it?

Kevin: Donald Dunk!!!

Shope: who's that?

Gym: -_-

Tyler: Does he even exist?

Roach: Do you even exist?

Kevin: Nice one Roach! *high five*

Donald Duck: *inheritent duck noises in anger*

Tyler: What's he saying?

Gym: SOMEBODY GET THE TRIPLETS

Rooks: OR WEBBY

Gym: ANYBODY THAT'S A DUCK

Rook: shut up gym'

Gym: Make me >:)

Rooks: ;-;

Shope: Classic sister fights

Kevin: Happens every time

Rooks: Can somebody get him outta here

Donald is now somewhere in space XD:

Rooks is my sis btw

if you hadn't noticed

[to-nosce-te-ipsum]

What I ve learned from basketball legends

Magic Johnson: be good natured and dont get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself. That man is always smiling and HIV certainly didnt change that. I am happy to know he is still here 30 years later . But he did say at that press conference when he went public, "I plan to be here for a long time". That took courage.

Michael Jordan: self doubt isnt going to lead you to personal triumph. You have to have self confidence and a killer mindset when tackling life. That's the only way you walk through fire and come out the other side stronger. Yea, you gotta be a little crazy. Crazy enough to believe you can, and then you do.

Dennis Rodman: be yourself, no matter how weird people think you are. You are a dynamic human individual, not a factory produced commodity. It is hard to go against the crowd when we all crave approval, but self approval is the most important kind. Accept yourself and embrace yourself, even the odd bits(especially the odd bits) then you become your most powerful version of yourself. No one made a difference by pleasing everyone else.

LeBron James: when you are fortunate, give back to the less fortunate . What LeBron does off the court has always had my admiration. He is more than basketball.

Phil Jackson: incorporate philosophy into your life. Btw, I never came across someone for whom Buddhist teachings were a bad thing. Jackson read zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, a book I also read years ago but never completed. It was an interesting read. I need to finish it sometime , probably if I get myself an actual copy.

[djsaxby16]

Why Kara and Alex would be the perfect romantic couple

(From a writer’s perspective)

Oh wait, before we get started, let’s get this out of the way real quick.

Antis: They’re sisters!

Me: No they aren’t.

Antis: It’s incest!

Me: No it isn’t.

Antis: You’re weird and gross!

Me: I’ve been called worse.

Antis: I’m unfollowing!

Me: Sounds good, there’s the door.

All right, now that we’ve got that taken care of, let’s move on.

So it’s no secret at this point, I am indeed a Kalex shipper. All my Supergirl fics are Kalex, basically the one Supergirl tag I follow is the Kalex tag, they are pretty much my number one OTP. Now obviously, being a Kalex shipper comes with baggage. All the hate so many people get, all the verbal abuse, all the name calling, it’s not fun. But I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I’d like to talk about why I ship them, primarily as a writer.

First of all, let’s be honest, they would be the only really healthy relationship out of all the popular ships. I mean supercorp is built on lies at this point, Karamel...let’s not go there, Sanvers was boring, and Kelly just feels forced. (Which btw, having Alex announce her baby plan to someone she’s known for maybe a week instead of Kara? Really?) Kara and Alex, think about all they’ve been through. They’ve known each other for years, they’ve had each other’s backs no matter what. From high school, to college, to the DEO and so on. Every time they needed someone, they’re always the first choice. They do nothing but support each other, trust each other, and love each other. Besides the mind wipe plot, they trust each other with everything. They have always been each other’s confidante, each other’s greatest supporter, nobody has even come close to their level.

Now a lot of people bring up the whole ‘sisters’ aspect, which I do admit is understandable. But here’s the thing, they’re not even from the same galaxy! And on top of that they met when they were teenagers, so they weren’t even really raised together. And her adoption was completely legal? Yea right. The fact is, they aren’t sisters, they pretend to be. And of course they’re gonna call each other sisters because what else are they gonna call each other? But at the end of the day, Kara is the girl who hid with a human family. Besides, Barry and Iris had the exact same situation, and they’re married with a kid. Why can’t Kara and Alex do the same? And don’t bring that “it’s a disgrace towards actual adopted siblings” crap. That’s not how I feel, that’s not how any of us feel. It’s our view of two unrelated fictional characters, that’s all.

But here’s where the writer in me comes out. I want you guys to think about something. Think of the circumstances that led to them meeting. Of all the chances that could have happened. For the pod to go off course, for it to get out of the phantom zone, to land where and when it did. Kara literally fell from the stars to find Alex. And now think about the things they say to each other. “We’re better when we’re together” “You filled my heart” “I will always need you” “I feel at home with you” This is literally exactly what I would write if I were writing a romantic relationship, not a sibling relationship.

But on top of all that, there is one singular fact above all that makes them the perfect romantic couple. They are the heart and soul of the entire show. The show could not survive without them both, plain and simple. You can get rid of Lena, James, Brainy, Nia, J’onn, Winn, Maggie, Mon-El, and the show would still be ok as long as it still had Kara and Alex. But when you break up their dynamic, that’s when it gets bad. That’s honestly why season two suffered so much in my opinion, because they did everything to try and separate them. And the same thing is happening now with with the mind wipe and Kelly and Lena, the last two episodes being prime examples. I mean really? You’re about to have a baby and you don’t even tell your sister? What the hell kinda sense does that make? It hurts not to see them interact and kick ass the way they used too. No other paring on any other tv show has made me feel this way. It’s like they’re two halves of one large puzzle. They fit perfectly into place with each other and no one else can fit them like they do each other. Even if you don’t ship them, and it’s perfectly fine if you don’t, you have to admit, the telltale signs of what would normally be a romance are there.

And I’m not saying it’s bad to ship other ships. If you ship supercorp or Karamel or Sanvers, that’s fine. If they’re your OTP, then God bless. But I just want you guys to understand where we’re coming from. There’s nothing wrong with shipping Kalex, there never has been and there never will be. And to the people who say Kalex shippers are gross and should die, grow the hell up.

But in the end, Kara and Alex are just the perfect fit. They’re a team, they’re soulmates to the end, they’re each other’s hero, and they’re just such a good match. And they’re definitely worth loving and worth celebrating just as much as any other ship out there. Thank your for your time, and no thinking, just hugging.

[shadows-taller]

bucky, 41, getting together story💘

this took way too long and I have no excuse. also it’s super long and I got carried away. whoops. usually I don’t like using the whole y/n thing but I feel it was unavoidable here. anyway. I hope you enjoy!

“I know it’s 2am but can we meet up”

The absolute best thing about getting a text from a wrong number is the sheer fun you can have fucking with the person who texted you. For example, Wanda got a wrong number one time detailing how her child was a disruption to this woman’s daughter and how she was no longer invited to this family’s barbecue. For a solid four days she pretended to be this kid’s mother, and it only ended when the soccer mom threatened to call the cops. To date, that’s your best wrong number story, and to be fair, it isn’t even yours. 

You haven’t had much luck as far as messing with strangers, your first and only attempt being the incident at the Apple Store in Times Square when you were drunk. Needless to say, you haven’t gone back to the area in a long time.

Ever since moving to New York, you’ve learned that the people are friendly when you get to know them and treat them like people rather than tourist attractions. You might even call yourself one, on occasion - god knows your whole family back home thinks you’re some sort of socialite now that you’re in the big city.

Most of the time, you’re just lucky if you go out to lunch with Wanda or Val once a week. That and the debate club you frequent once a month, held at a bookstore a few blocks down from your street. The only interaction you have with men is in class and the guy who works at the bookstore on weekends. He’s seen you at your worst, from the morning to get a book for class and in the evening when you just finished a part of a series and need to find out what happens next. And dressed in pajamas in both situations. No way will you strike up conversation with him anytime soon, that’s way too embarrassing.

All this to say, school doesn’t make for much wiggle room in your schedule. And your social skills have become a bit lacking thanks to this fact

Luckily, today, a Saturday, has left you enough time not only to get ahead on your studies, but also to get lunch with Wanda, go to the library and the small museum in your neighborhood (because you’ve always wanted to but, again, time is a cruel mistress), and be back home with enough daylight left to make a decent meal for yourself.

Of course, some fucker has to text you in the middle of the night with some bullshit like;

Unknown: i know its 2am but can we meet up

You hear the buzz on your nightstand, wake up enough to reach over and turn your phone on, and type out a response as well as your still mostly-asleep brain can.

You: who’s this?

Prepared to fall back asleep, your head has barely hit the pillow when your phone buzzes again. And then a second time, to add insult to injury.

Unknown: james, from ur anthro class?

Unknown: ur my partner for the project

Groaning, you sit up and prop a pillow behind you. Reaching for your glasses, you prepare to let the guy down, too tired to mess with him. But just as you’re typing out a sorry, wrong #, he messages you for a third time in a row.

Unknown: u know, with Banner? The man who cant answer questions for shit

Now that makes you wake up a bit. Not only because Dr. Bruce Banner is, in your opinion, one of the best anthropology professors at your college, but because he’s helped you pursue your degree in that exact subject area. Dr. Banner’s been a huge impact on your academic success, and this guy is just flat-out wrong about him.

You: first of all, why the fuck are you messaging me (or anyone) at 2am

You: second, wrong number. but banner’s a genius and you’re wrong.

Now you’re fully awake and ready for a debate. It’s why you joined a debate club - sometimes, the need to argue should be directed in more fulfilling avenues. But it’s 2 AM, for chrissakes.

Unknown: i didnt say he wasnt a genius. he just cant answer questions.

You sigh.

You: what sort of questions could you possibly have that he couldn’t answer

Unknown: why do you care anyway

You: it’s kind of my major, smartass

Unknown: shit alright its about this project on like African masks

You: there’s lots of those can you narrow it down

Unknown: i dont know how to! thats my problem

You: did he give you parameters for the assignment?

At this point, you decide to add this guy as a contact, even if out of pity for his apparent lack of skill in the field of anthropology. Maybe this could become a thing, you help him in anthro, he helps you in… whatever he studies? That’s a good question, actually.

Wrong # James: yeah he told us to write on african masks

Wrong # James: like write abt them not like ON on them

You: ok. Well what did you talk about in class?

Wrong # James: masks? from different regions

You: so like what masks from different regions looked like?

Wrong # James: ya

You: did you have a favorite?

Wrong # James: not really?

You: well maybe you should do some research on that and find a region that has masks/symbols that interest you

You: and also get your partner’s number lmao

Wrong # James: ur more helpful than he was tho

You: tough shit u still need to talk to him

You: what major are you anyway

Wrong # James: biomechanical engineering

Wrong # James: so like the opposite of anthro

You: true

Wrong # James: sorry abt waking you up btw

You: it’s no big deal lol

Except that it kind of was. You look at the clock, and it reads nearly 2:30.

Wrong # James: still its kinda late

Wrong # James: I feel bad now

Wrong # James: (…)

Wrong # James: do u wanna meet up sometime? when its not 2am? I need so much anthro help

The smile on your face is wide, because you were just about to suggest the same thing. You take a second to think about your response, but another message comes through before you can send something.

Wrong # James: nvm thats weird pretend i didnt suggest it

You: no! I was actually going to ask you the same thing. god knows I could use some calc help

Wrong # James: calc is so much easier than anthro shut up

You: math is the work of the devil

You: so you free tomorrow?

Wrong # James: ya is 4 good?

You: sure! Campus library?

Wrong # James: yea

You: wait I don’t know what you look like

Wrong # James: tall, brown hair?

You: that’s half the school population

Wrong # James: I’ll be in a stark industries shirt with a leather jacket and a dark green backpack, in the little area behind the sci-fi stuff

You: good that actually does narrow it down

Wrong # James: Wait I don’t know ur name wtf

You: it’s y/n

Wrong # James: see u tomorrow then, y/n

–

It’s 3:00 and you have an hour ‘til you meet up with James, so you’ve decided to stop by the little grocery store near your place to get some snacks. You don’t know what he’ll like, so you get some water and a few different types of candy, as well as some fresh fruit. On your way to the library, you stop by the bookstore to get another copy of one of your favorite books for anthropology - Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond. You figure James might appreciate a more compelling, interesting read in the midst of textbooks and scholarly articles.

You come to the register and put the book on the counter, eyes cast down like usual. The guy at the counter, somehow always working when you’re there, takes it and rings you up. As you hand him your member card, you glance up to see oddly familiar white lettering. And a leather jacket. And a secondary glance tells you that his name-tag reads James (Bucky). You feel yourself pale as you look up at his face.

“Holy shit.”

He just looks at you, confused.

“Is there something wrong?”

For the first time since your first visit to the store, you look him straight in his pretty blue eyes. You get a sudden burst of confidence, and your shocked expression melts into a nonchalant shrug, smirk dancing at the edge of your lips.

“No, just this random asshole texted me at 2am asking to meet up.”

//send me a prompt

[likeawildthing]

one week since u looked at me

James and LIly fight and it’s 100% the other person’s fault, and everyone is just a little bit unhinged. 

3371 Words

For @expressopatronum​, who requested a jily fic based on the Barenaked Ladies song. :D

tues.

James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: well. Fuck.

James Potter: im broken up

James Potter: literally

James Potter: and metaphorically

James Potter: and every other kind of shitty ally tbh

James Potter: hello?????

James Potter: im in Crisis here

Peter Pettigrew: we know, mate. You ok?

James Potter: how??

Peter Pettigrew: well…

James Potter: she texted u???

Remus Lupin: she texted me

Peter Pettigrew: then he told us

Remus Lupin: wtf, Prongs

James Potter: u believe her???

Remus Lupin: didn’t say that, mate. Just a weird situation, yeah??

James Potter: Weird = shitty, then yea. her fault tho for being so dramatic!! And do u arseholes have a group chat w/out me???

Sirius Black: nah. y would we do smth like that to u prongs. go chill @ mine. AND i for one am being a good mate and withholding judgment. (except on evans cos shes clearly at fault here)

James Potter: damn straight she is. 100%!!! and im already @ urs, actually. where r u tho?

Sirius Black: alcohol

James Potter: Good Man

Remus Lupin: I’m getting pizza

James Potter: don’t bother?? never eating again

James Potter: PS no more talking to evans unless its for espionage

Peter Pettigrew: this should be fun

 - - -

 James Potter to Not Lovely Lily: ready for ur apology, like, whenever, babe

James Potter: no?

James Potter: sirius’s sofa is super fucking cosy, btw

James Potter: PS whatever the current differences between us, pls dont stoop so low as to eat Mums biscuits

wed.

 Lily Evans to StupidHair BigMouth: the biscuits were fucking delicious.

James Potter: WOW

- - -

Sirius Black to squatter potter: BABE. u know i theoretically want to be sympathetic to ur emo angst. or whatever. but y the FUCK r u watching x-files at half volume at 3:37 fucking am

James Potter: go back to sleep??

Sirius Black: fucking difficult w the light coming in under my door

Sirius Black: AND u mess up my recs w that shit

James Potter: ill tell pete u think x-files is shit

James Potter: PS dana Scully is /not shit

Sirius Black: the redhead???

Sirius Black: fuckall, prongs, if ur watching the show bc she has red hair

James Potter: im NOT. watching bc it’s a Good show.

Sirius Black: is not

James Potter: it holds up!!

Sirius Black: fine. im not arguing w u bc u cant take the blow of being wrong. i get it. but if u wank to sculley on my sofa, potter, ill end you.

James Potter: u wldnt

Sirius Black: imported velvet. vintage. custom ticking. turned legs. u know how i feel abt that lounge, Babe.

James Potter: /i wldnt

Sirius Black: …

James Potter: k. ill stop

Sirius Black: damn straight. uve been broken up for a day??

James Potter: 31.25 hrs. n we ARENT broken up

Sirius Potter: whatever. make up with evans or im kicking you out

James Potter: what happened to being a good mate????

Sirius Black: making up w evans is whats good for u

James Potter: u know its not that simple.

Sirius Black: if ur waiting for me to ask u WHY its not simple….dont. shldve done that when lupin was here.

James Potter: i /did. i still need to process tho.

Sirius Black: process alone, w the volume below 12 & ur prick IN your pants!

Sirius Black: and reset xfiles to s6e4

- - -

James Potter to #1 MUM <333: mum…you up?

Euphemia Potter: no

James Potter: …wow

James Potter: Good to know whose side ur on???

Euphemia Potter: I’m staying neutral.

James Potter: can you at least make me more biscuits?

Euphemia Potter: no. I gave her permission to eat them. James Potter: p sure that’s taking sides!!!

James Potter: are u talking to her right now???

Euphemia Potter: Her mother has passed, dear. She relies on me for situations like this.

James Potter: WOW

Euphemia Potter: weren’t you just here asking for your grandmother’s engagement ring last week?

James Potter: yes!!

Euphemia Potter: Perhaps you should come over for breakfast tomorrow.

James Potter: no

James Potter: …ill think about it

- - -

Sirius Black to squatter potter: DID I JUST HEAR U FUCKING GROAN

thurs.

James Potter to Babe: listen…sorry abt the sofa thing

James Potter: maybe outta line a bit. I wont watch xfiles tonight tho

James Potter: i can come over tonight, right???

Sirius Black: imported vintage italian velvet lounges b4 m8s

- - -

James Potter to sailor moony: and fuck, like. she deadass looked at me and said ‘im angry’ what does that even mean??? How can she be angry at an accident??

Remus Lupin: Prongs. uve told me this 12 times 

James Potter: seven. my soul splits every time I tell it, so id know

James Potter: fuck

James Potter: LUPIN

James Potter: if u dont answer ill stop supplying ur Weetabix Habit

Remus Lupin: You wouldn’t. You know why??? its 3 in the morning. I didn’t sleep bc two nights ago u were making us listed to the Lily Playlist. Last night Padfoot wldnt stop texting me abt u watching x-files (???) and tonight…I NEED SLEEP 

James Potter: ur right. im not heartless.

James Potter: unlike evans

James Potter: i /am desperate tho

James Potter: if u answer, i wont come over and bug u in person.

Remus Lupin: Deal. So what else did she say?

James Potter: thats it!

Remus Lupin: normal voice, or scary quiet rage voice?

James Potter: wld i be texting u @3am if it was the normal one?

Remus Lupin: fair point…just surprised that’s all she said, considering you killed her pet

James Potter: first mum, now u?? i went to breakfast w/ her this morning and she AMUSHED ME!! ddnt even make bacon! a two hr lecture and No Bacon.

James Potter: over a fish! Remus Lupin: lily’s fish. which u killed. James Potter: it was a tragic, unavoidable accident!!

James Potter: ac·ci·dent 1. an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury. google does not lie.

James Potter:  anyway thts what i get for doing Chores and trying to help around the flat

James Potter: i can feel ur disapproval, lupin

James Potter: she LOATHED that fish. she called it fish! how attached can u rlly be against smth u havent named. petunia pawned it off on her! she made Flushing jokes on the regular?? rly… was doing her a favor

Remus Lupin: please for the love of god tell me u didn’t tell her that

James Potter: which part

Remus Lupin: all of it. Any of it.

James Potter: well.

Remus Lupin: fuck

James Potter: so can i come over? 

Remus Lupin: …

James Potter: can i come in?

Remus Lupin: where are you?

James Potter: ur front steps

James Potter: i need Emotional Support, lupin

Remus Lupin: fine

fri.

James Potter to grlFIEND: still cant believe you tackled me to the ground this afternoon??? I should report u??

Lily Evans: I should report you??? trespassing? it’s how I’d treat any common burglar!

James Potter: 1. u know I’d be an Excellent burglar. don’t be harsh.

James Potter: 2. its not trespassing when i pay ½ rent

Lily Evans: Technically yes, but morally??? NOT ur flat

James Potter: you know how skeevy my teeth feel w/out my water flosser? which i still don’t have btw??

Lily Evans: I was so mad I threw ur attachments out, so

James Potter: Wow

James Potter: my rug burns are FINE, btw

Lily Evans: I had to buy a black dress, sew a veil, host a FUNERAL, write a EULOGY, send petunia a video of the whole thing, and ur whining about rug burns and a water flosser??? Lmao ok.

James Potter: lmao IM the dramatic one? OK

Lily Evans: Read 1:35:10 AM

James Potter: u actually have to, like, turn on the function for it to be a burn

Lily Evans: Read 1:36:14 AM

James Potter: …

Lily Evans: Read 1:36:25 AM

- - -

James Potter to Babe: u talking to me yet???

James Potter: it was an Accident

Sirius Black: Read 1:45:15 AM

Sirius Black: go to petes

- - -

James Potter: to pumpkin eater: PETE. My dude.

Peter Pettigrew: no.

James Potter: listen. black + lupin have fallen into dishonor

Peter Pettigrew: they haven’t

James Potter: they HAVE in collusion w/ one another and on their own, betrayed and disowned me. whts Dishonor if not that??

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me u were wanking on his velvet sofa

James Potter: SCULLEY

Peter Pettigrew: i get it, but u know how he feels about that. second only to his motorbike.

James Potter: …

Peter Pettigrew: and u, ofc.

James Potter: he and remus both think x-files is shit

Peter Pettigrew: fuckers

James Potter: so can i come over?

Peter Pettigrew: go HOME, prongs. to ur girlfriend.

James Potter: p sure she dumped me???

Peter Pettigrew: 1. she LOVES ur fucking face. she nearly snogged it off in FRONT OF ME just last week?? shes just as miserable as u are.

Peter Pettigrew: 2. I live w/ my mum

Peter Pettigrew: 3. U rlly have a wanking problem.

Peter Pettigrew: 4. My mum has never seen a penis and I wont let the first one she sees be URS

James Potter: idk how to tell u this, pete, but shes a MUM, so…shes had kids…

James Potter: we can smoke

Peter Pettigrew: come in thru the back

 - - -

 James Potter to sailor moony: fuck

Remus Lupin: …you know my name isn’t actually ‘fuck’ … right? 

James Potter: Remus. Fuck.

Remus Lupin: isn’t pete watching you?

James Potter: he passed out.

Remus Lupin: dammit. where are you now??

James Potter: in a tree. like…u want to do a thought experiment with me?

Remus Lupin: …

James Potter: sorry, shldnt have phrased that as a question. Emotional Support.

Remus Lupin: you aren’t allowed to use that anymore.

James Potter: k, so like, if a person, however well-intentioned, right? like if they did something that hurt someone else. even if they didn’t Mean to. like maybe it’d be decent of them to say sorry??

Remus Lupin: you think???

James Potter: yea

James Potter: i mean…im Not saying that person shld. cos shes still bang out of order w/ the toothbrush. + the biscuits. + poisoning u and my mum against me.

James Potter: *their mate and their mum against them

Remus Lupin: you were saying…about the thought experiment?

James Potter: oh, like, well that person might owe the other person an apology

James Potter: *might. maybe. like 5% maybe

Remus Lupin: i would agree, but more like 95%

James Potter: just smth to Think about. Ya know??

James Potter: OK, heres the thing. its not hypothetical. talking abt evans ofc. cos like, i laughed, right? at her. while shes…crying. But!!! i smiled because it is kind of fucking funny??? shes overreacting + SOBBING. but, like, also cos shes so Cute and she did that elbow thing she always does when shes mad?? cannot convey how cute she was!! its so funny? that was, like, sure, the Wrong thing to do, because it just set her off More, and. ANYWAY, I could kind of…maybe…see how she would be upset by my laughing. or think I was laughing at her pain when really it was her anger. which doesn’t Sound like a good distinction, but it is a Solid distinction. ANYWAY, like, u know I have No Poker face, right?

Remus Lupin: you do wear your heart on you sleeve 

James Potter: we both know ive a LONG history of taking off my shirt

Remus Lupin: really? you, james fleamont potter, have a history of overreacting and making poor decisions and have impulse control problems? i had no. fucking. idea. completely shocked.

James Potter: imma ignore that u used my middle name + the bit abt the impulse control

Remus Lupin: apologize to her??

Remus Lupin: actually…get your thoughts together a little bit more than this, maybe? then apologize

James Potter: gotta figure how to get down from this tree first

James Potter: thx for the talk lupin

Remus Lupin: night, prongs

sat. 

James Potter to Maybe Lovely Lily: can I come home yet???

Lily Evans: lmao

Lily Evans: when u get ur shite together, yeah?

James Potter: u have all of my shite at OUR flat???

Lily Evans: delivered it to remus

 - - -

 James Potter to lupin, fuck: u have my stuff????

Remus Lupin: this pile of shite in my living room? yes.

Remus Lupin: come collect immediately pls.

James Potter: shove it in the spare closet

Remus Lupin: spare closet is full of pete’s contraband he doesn’t want his mum to see.

James Potter: right. well, go through and take what you want as payment.

Remus Lupin: already did. btw why do you have a sumo suit?

James Potter: she brought over the sumo suit???

Remus Lupin: yes.

James Potter: FUCKING WOW

James Potter: btw…how did she look? what all did she say? (not that I care!!!) but is she despondent w/out? dark circles? facial blemishes b/c she’s been too distracted to adhere to her rigorous skincare regime? did she even have the energy to contour??

Remus Lupin: she looked ok .

James Potter: whts that mean

Remus Lupin: i mean she looked fine.

James Potter: no tear tracks?

Remus Lupin: no.

James Potter: damn

Remus Lupin: she didn’t look great though? honestly, prongs, i think she’s just waiting for you to apologize.

James Potter: not a chance????

Remus Lupin: dammit. you were almost there last night

James Potter: ????

Remus Lupin: the thought experiment?

James Potter: i got high with pete last night

Remus Lupin: should’ve known.

James Potter: and I might have, except she gave back the sumo suit which is an act of war????

Remus Lupin: james…do not blow this…more out of proportion. ok?

James Potter: id never

Remus Lupin: BLOCKED

- - -

James Potter to #1 MUM: can i at least have the biscuit recipe???

Euphemia Potter: sent

- - -

James Potter to DEFO NOT LOVELY LILY: the sumo suit??? really???? u know how to cut deep, evans

James Potter: i thought this was going to blow over quickly but apparently no???

James Potter: PS I hope u like The Pic I posted on Instagram (dnt pretend like u arnt stalking me)

Lily Evans: u wldnt

James Potter: …already did

Lily Evans: btw I had to throw ur fave Tupperware away. contaminated w/ dead fish germs.

Lily Evans: like, I almost kept it and dint tell you, but my Conscience (a lil voice that tells u right from wrong) smote me, so….

James Potter: W O W. you kept a dead body in my fave Tupperware???? the one that keeps my soup warm???

Lily Evans: Read 11:13:09 PM

 - - -

 James Potter to Pete McGeet: listen: Chickity China the Chinese chicken

James Potter: and u…have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’

James Potter: or smth

James Potter: anyway…wanna go to KFC???

Peter Pettigrew: what in the ever loving hell, prongs

James Potter: i think im cracking up

James Potter: defo pissed.

Peter Pettigrew: its sad. And a little bit pathetic.

James Potter: pathetic enough to stay at urs again tonight??? U know abt the others. And Mom wont let me on account of the principle.

Peter Pettigrew: if u bring KFC, yes

James Potter: me + the colonel are in a taxi now…

sun.

James Potter to Rude Remus: MATE

James Potter: got a burner phone

James Potter: PS imma pretend u ddnt block me

James Potter: anyway coming to go through my stuff, ok?

James Potter: Promise ill avoid ur sofa

Remus Lupin: sure thing.

- - -

James Potter to Lovely Lily: babe

James Potter: see u typing. u can pull that Read shit or whatever, but, like, I was sorting thru my stuff @ remus’s??? + I shldve done it yesterday….

James Potter: (dont tell him was here PLS bc hes pissed at me abt smth stupid)

James Potter: ANYWAY underneath the sumo suit – nice diversion btw, that super pissed me off – was a pack of brand new flosser attachments. + my flosser. u even rinsed it???

James Potter: like, Thanks

James Potter: coming home bc u obviously dnt Hate Me Eternally like u said before Lily Evans: i never said that! v frustrated w/ u but i don’t Hate u.

Lily Evans: listen. I know uve wanked (and cried??? oh yes. Pete told me.) urself out of all your friends’ good graces, so

Lily Evans: u can come back to the flat

Lily Evans: its, like, on a conditional basis

Lily Evans: we aren’t shagging

Lily Evans: u live on the couch

James Potter: we have a guest room???

Lily Evans: couch or bust

Lily Evans: you can use the guest bath tho

Lily Evans: and the kitchen…if you cook enough for me, too James Potter: cool

Lily Evans: cool

- - -

James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: fuck yessssssssssss

James Potter: have won!

James Potter: maybe technically it started as my fault? like 15%

James Potter: shes all but apologized!

James Potter: not formally ofc, but i know what she meant

James Potter: knew if I held out long enough, shed come around

James Potter: lupin…have been living in ur car btw….i owe u for crisps detailing

Remus Lupin: ew. Happy for u prongs. Gtfo of my car.

Peter Pettigrew: go home n wait for her to apologize

Sirius Black: wait before u apologize tho 2

James Potter: obvs (+ sorry abt ur velvet sofa Babe. ill pay to get it cleaned)

Remus Lupin: literally going to murder u all

mon.

 James Potter to #1 MUM: I know ur asleep, but I made u middle of the night biscuits.

James Potter: they r UTTER shit but I did Try

James Potter: thing is…u might have been a little (tiny bit!!) right about some of the things you said. Maybe. 

James Potter: anyway, am Home and will probably apologize to lily…soon

James Potter: and i love u and sorry i was so pissy abt no bacon

  - - -

James Potter to Lovely Lily: evans

Lily Evans: potter.

Lily Evans: how did u sleep?

James Potter: ok. u?

Lily Evans: meh

James Potter: i know id mentally said i wldnt do this for another day, on Principle, but Mum guilted me into it even tho she is still sleeping. Except she has a Point. So heres the thing ….

James Potter: and also moony said…

James Potter: i kind of, like,

James Potter: its like this, lil…

James Potter: well

Lily Evans: jfc babe don’t strain yourself, yea?

James Potter: u know what im saying tho 

Lily Evans: i do

Lily Evans: and same. (ish.))))

Lily Evans: it’s like this, james. i….

Lily Evans: fuck

Lily Evans: we rlly have to get better @ this.

Lily Evans: I KNOW it was an accident. and also, like, I sort of apparently overloaded the aquarium power cord in the first place w my hair dryer??? so…yeah

James Potter: fuck

Lily Evans: yeah….and I shouldn’t have, like, tackled u

James Potter: it wldve been hot if not for the rug burns

James Potter: and also i was insensitive w/ the laughing thing

Lily Evans: wait!! We hve to STOP

Lily Evans: can u not apologize yet. not fully to the point where I want to bone u??

James Potter: ….was kind of on a roll here tho

Lily Evans: yeah but we have to stop James Potter: y???

Lily Evans: the longer we fight..the better the make-up sex is going to be, yea? science

James Potter: tru…but id argue good make-up sex now is better than Great, theoretical make-up sex

Lily Evans: that WLD be true, but i, like, ordered something online… James Potter: something. or. like. Something.

Lily Evans: the Something u had bookmarked in ur private amazon wishlist hoping I’d find it

James Potter: stalker

James Potter: i love u….but i still think we should make up properly???? 

Lily Evans: no!!!! it’ll be here on Friday.

James Potter: i got u a new fish & everything!! named him eddie.

Lily Evans: nice!! but u know i hate fish. sold the aquarium to pay for the Something.

James Potter: well. Fuck.

Lily Evans: love you too