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milliesfishes · 2 months ago

Note

Hi! I simply ADORE your writing and idk if you’re taking requests right now but I’d love an accidental pregnancy with Billy story (maybe even with some enemies to lovers vibes)!

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[fem reader] contains: angst, pregnancy, bullet wound pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: sorry this took forever! here's your poll winner I hope you like it hehe. thank you @phantomamor for reading through it for me mwah Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

His hair was a mess. Curly and free of his hat for once, dancing over the plane of his forehead. You could count every freckle on his cheek if you wanted to, easier than counting stars. His breathing was soft, escaping his slightly parted lips in brief little puffs. He was sunk into the mattress next to you, arm slung around your side, fingers splayed over your back. You hadn't bothered to redress and neither had he.

It must have been nearly an hour since you woke up, his heartbeat stuttering in your ears. Even when you'd shifted, he hadn't woken. It'd likely been a long time since he'd slept in a decent bed, so used to collapsing and shutting his eyes whenever he could. Although he'd been here renting this room for nearly a week, there wasn't any way he was used to it yet. Or maybe he was just relaxed. You'd slept better than expected too.

Blinking, you shook yourself out of your daze, suddenly realizing where you were. Billy Bonney's bed. Billy the Kid's bed. And he was sprawled out as if it were nothing, palm warming your side, maybe leaving a handprint with how long it'd been resting there.

Sitting up, you watched his hand drop from your waist to your thigh. He still didn't stir. Letting the sheet fall away, you stiffened upon seeing the patches of red that marked his trail of kisses down your body, the result of his stubble rubbing at your skin. It'd been deliciously satisfying at the time, but now the leftover sting only heightened your shame.

Reaching down and rubbing at the most prominent marks on each inner thigh, you squeezed your eyes shut. Your innocence had been surrendered to a man whose face was splashed all over the West with a reward over his hat. The same hat you'd knocked off his head so you could tangle your hand in his hair. It'd been softer than you remembered.

Your brother James' childhood friendship with him as well as your brief romance felt like decades ago. It ended when he'd skipped town without so much as a letter. Needless to say, it'd been a shock to see him leaning on the bar last night, sipping his drink and grinning at something another man said. And when your eyes caught his, there was nearly a string of fire stretched in the distance between you. Everything unspoken pushed you together again, until there was no separation.

He'd been so smooth last night. Gentle, touch like a butterfly as he unwrapped you from your dress and whispered things that set your heart aflame. Though there were new shadows behind his eyes, this was the same Billy who'd told you he loved you all those years ago. You knew him, but obviously you hadn't known him.

He'd filled out in the time he'd been away. Your Billy Antrim had been broad and manly, but this Billy was somehow broad-er. Pressed against you now, it was easier to tell. He wasn't at all a kid, contrary to the name he'd earned from the law. It'd been freeing to be with him. You'd felt alive. This was something you'd done for yourself, no watchful eye of a protective brother standing above you like a lighthouse.

Maybe a piece of your heart had always been with him. It was so easy to fall back into your old patterns, conversation flowing like water, his touch familiar and safe. When he'd kissed you, it was like you'd found the X on a map you didn't know you were following. Was it worth all the heartbreak you'd nursed for so long?

Billy's hand twitched on your thigh, squeezing lightly, and you decided it was.

Lying back down, you pressed your cheek to his chest, settling your hand over his heart and letting yourself relax. Subconsciously, Billy's arm tightened around you, and you felt your eyes growing heavier. In all the time you'd imagined being in love, you never thought you'd feel comfortable sleeping next to someone. Apparently, your imagination had steered you wrong. It felt so safe here, like his arms could ward off any darkness that crossed your path. Except of course, for the night, when he would make love to you and hold you until you both succumbed to your dreams.

As you drifted off again, cozy and sleepy, you could finally place the feeling that'd been knocking at your back.

Home. He made you feel like you were home.

Shielding your eyes from the sun, you peered out into the distance from the porch. James was supposed to be back by now with everything you'd sent him into town for. Normally you would've gone yourself, but today he'd insisted.

Not bothering to argue, you'd distracted yourself with chores, hoping it'd fill more hours than it had. The house was spotless now, the animals fed, dinner on the fire. The only thing missing was your brother.

Maybe he'd been held up in town. You wouldn't be surprised. There wasn't a soul your brother couldn't make friends with, and he put it to the test wherever he went. Leaning on the railing, you sighed, closing your eyes and trying to ignore the growling in your stomach. You were supposed to eat regularly, and your brother was aware of that. Ordinarily you'd go ahead and serve yourself up a portion, but one of the missing ingredients happened to be on the list you'd sent him out with.

It'd been a tense few months. There'd been troubles with the ranch hands, as well as a mysterious outbreak among the horses that only allowed one person to leave at a time. Not that you minded. It wasn't like you'd want to go to town anyways, for fear of who you'd see.

The ranch was distant enough to give you some peace. And you were able to avoid prying eyes, or whatever gossip could circulate. Now more than ever, you were wary of it. Ever since that night with Billy, truthfully. Last time you'd graced the bounds of town, you'd been on edge, scanning for familiar blue eyes, or curls peeking out from under his hat. Mercifully, he was nowhere to be found.

Time had passed. Enough time to grow bitter. The feeling left a bad taste in your mouth, but you couldn't spit it out. It had grown, twisting around your bones and wrapping fingers across your throat. If James had noticed, he hadn't said anything, though he didn't have to. The way he'd handled you lately told you everything you needed to know.

You bent your head, feeling slightly faint with hunger. Hair falling in front of your eyes, you stared down at the skirt of your loose-fitting dress. Sorting through what you had in the cabinets, you wondered if you could make do without what you'd been waiting on. As soon as you began to entertain the notion, it was dismissed. You'd been craving this soup all day, even in the warm of the dying summer. August was full of endings, and you felt as though you were hurrying along its departure by making something you usually reserved for winter.

Hoofbeats. Lifting your head, you perked up as you saw a horse in the distance, heading for you fast. Now you could make out James' familiar outline, of his hat and the dark grey shirt he'd left the house wearing this morning. Folding your arms and leaning back, you were ready to give him a hunger-induced earful for being late.

Squinting as he got closer, you could see the other rider behind him. From where they'd appeared on the horizon, you hadn't been able to make out the second horse, the other person tagging along. Smoothing your hair, you pushed aside any twinges of annoyance that came with James' apparent impromptu dinner invitation. You'd made enough food, surely, but you hadn't been expecting a visitor.

Your brother and his guest stopped, tying their horses and chatting all the while, the other man saying something that made your brother erupt in deep laughter as he hoisted his full bag from his horse. You stood up straight, thankful he'd at least followed the list.

Bounding up the stairs, James greeted you with a kiss to your cheek, holding your elbow with his free hand for a second. "You okay?" When you nodded, he squeezed, nodding briefly. "Got everything you asked for. And I brought Billy 'round for dinner."

Billy-?

You whipped to see the man standing at the bottom of the porch steps, hat in his hand as he looked up at you with those blue eyes that hadn't ever failed to put stars in yours. A tightness erupted in your chest, and you felt your expression drop. For a moment you were frozen, just staring at him.

Now memories from that night were stealing your vision. Waking up alone after falling back asleep, the spot next to you cold and empty. In fact, the room had been emptied of any remnant of him. The few possessions that had been strewn across the dresser had disappeared, along with his clothes, his boots, and his gun. When you looked out the window where the horses were tied up, his hadn't been among them. The only evidence he'd been there were the marks he'd left on your body and the indent in the other pillow.

He'd left you. Again.

Of course you'd felt stupid. Just like in your early youth, you'd fallen for his charm and heartbreak ensued. You should have known he hadn't changed. While the first time you'd been sad over it, now you were angry. And the following months only added fuel to your fire.

The way he'd looked at you had pulled you in, a lifeline in your sea of content misery. You'd been so hopeful, so happy over him that you hadn't taken any of the risk in mind. You didn't know what he'd been up to in the time that had passed. Seeing him in the bar that night, you hadn't asked questions, hadn't brought up anything about him leaving. It'd been nostalgic, a trick of the light that had you falling into his bed. And now you were paying the price for it.

All of this circled you like vultures over a fresh carcass as you stood there looking at him. He didn't break your gaze.

"C'mon, you're hungry, I know it," James said, putting his hand on your back and guiding you inside. "'m sorry I took so long. Didn't know Billy was back in town."

"Who would've guessed?" you asked, side-eyeing Billy as you allowed your brother to lead you in.

When you reached for his bag to dig out the soup's missing ingredient, James swatted your hand away. "You go sit. I know you've been on your feet too long today."

Billy looked at you curiously as you sat down, tucking your feet under the chair and chewing on your bottom lip. It felt embarrassing for your brother to be doing this right now, even though he had been for months. It was more that it was in front of Billy.

James started cutting the missing carrots, and you were left in silence with your unexpected guest as the sound of chopping filled the air. Billy shuffled where he stood, then decided to go into the kitchen. "I'll see if he needs any help." Only moments later he emerged, standing uncomfortably in front of the door.

You looked away, focusing on breathing in and out. Yet another thing you were supposed to do. Breathe and do it easy. It was okay. You'd been without him for months and you'd been fine. At least, that was what you had to tell yourself.

Billy sat across from you, and you could feel his eyes on you, though you didn't lift yours. Without looking, you knew his knee was bouncing, just a little. One of his nervous tics. "Didn't know James knew how to cook."

"He didn't until a few months ago." Your response was directed at the edge of the table, where your eyes followed the wooden pattern.

"How've you been?" he asked quietly, and you blinked.

It was a loaded answer. You didn't bother playing with telling him the truth. "Fine."

"James said you've been havin' a tough time," he muttered, and your eyes snapped up.

"What'd he say?" It came out harsher than you meant, and Billy's brow knit in confusion.

"Didn't say what about." Your shoulders slumped in relief, and he watched you suspiciously.

When you'd been his girl it'd been nearly startling how well he could read you. And the night you'd seen him again three months ago, it was evident how little that had changed. The way he'd been with your body against his, anticipating your needs, what you wanted him to do. He'd been perfect. It'd only made his leaving hurt more.

Opening his mouth, Billy began to ask you something but was interrupted by James bringing in the bowls of soup. You jumped up, but he shook his head. "Stay sitting. I'll get the other one." He kept leaving you alone with Billy. He didn't have a reason not to, but it still put you on edge. When your brother returned once more, some of the tension diffused, and you all lifted your spoons.

Dinner turned out well, even with the late addition of the carrots. James told a funny story about work that day and you finally cracked a smile, the burden on your heart lightening. When Billy answered James' question about what he'd been up to, you listened carefully, trying not to look like you were too interested.

"Had a bad run-in with a few folks from the last town I was in," he said, looking between you and James. The thumb of his hand on the table next to his empty bowl was tapping lightly, and you watched it. Up. Down. Up. Down. "Was actually here for a night a while ago but I had to skip again cause they found me."

You met his eyes, something chipping at the cast you'd put around your heart. That was why he'd left? Stiffening again, you looked down. He still could have said something. He'd had enough time to clear out his things, so he could have woken you or left a note or something. And then there was the matter of the first time he'd left too. A wound that hadn't healed, no matter how much you covered it and pretended it did.

James gave a low whistle. "You've had a real adventure. We're real glad to have you back, Billy."

"I shouldn't've ever left," he said, looking squarely at you. Heart thudding at your chest, you lowered your gaze.

Standing up, you fluffed your dress away from yourself, a habit. "I'm going to sit outside for a bit before bed."

James stood almost instantly, a hint of concern in his expression. "You feelin' okay? Need anything?"

"I'm fine," you promised, giving your dress another fluff. "I just want to watch the sunset." James accepted this, but you could feel Billy watching you leave.

Nearly collapsing on the front porch chair, you tried to focus on the sunset, counting the colors. This was an activity James had done with you one night when you were panicking, and it'd worked since. This was a different sort of panic, though. This was a disease eating at your insides, threatening to tear you in half.

You wouldn't deny you'd imagined seeing him again. Pictured what you'd say, what he'd say. But this was beyond what your mind could come up with. It was too soon. Too soon after everything. However much you'd thought you could handle had been an overestimation. No amount of time could have prepared you for his arrival here, in the one place you had left as refuge.

Red, blue, pink, orange. You made a list in your head. Clouds, grass, hills, trees. Maybe if you closed your eyes, everything would disappear. Every wrong sorrowful tragic aspect of your life gone in the blink of an eye.

How you wished these emotions had faded with time. If anything, the sand from the hourglass had coarsened them, created jagged shards of glass that cut you on the inside. At least nobody could see you bleeding.

When you heard boots on the floor, you stood, avoiding Billy's eyes as you watched the sun sink deeper into the earth. His scent hadn't changed- it was something distinct and all him. It permeated the air, nearly suffocating you.

"I'm sorry." He said it softly. You didn't bother looking. "I know me showin' up like this upset you-"

"I don't care what you do, Billy." Your tone was colder than you meant it to be, and beneath the shell you put around the woman you used to be, she winced.

"Sweetheart-" he paused when you winced. "I did a bad thing, I know. I hurt you-"

"You hurt me before," you whispered, looking up at him blankly. "I don't care."

Billy's face didn't change. You wished he would stop looking at you like that, like he'd stumbled on treasure in the desert. His mouth was flattened, like a ridge. Where tension had dissolved before, now it was stretched taut, ready to snap. Biting the side of your cheek, you fought the tears that threatened to make an appearance, but it was like trying to hold a bursting closet door shut.

When his hand found your face, you closed your eyes, humiliated as a tear slipped through the cracks, your facade crumbling. His course thumb caught it, and you lifted your lids, eyes hardening.

"Talk to me," he breathed, searching your eyes. You froze as two more tears slipped from your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks. The truth was at the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut. If he knew, it could ruin everything.

"I'm fine," you managed, but he held firm, shaking his head. "Billy," you started, voice firm as it could be. "Just go. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter-"

"You left me!" Taking a step back, you stared up at him, no longer caring if you cried. "You left me twice without ever saying a word and this time you left me-" Stopping short, your eyes widened slightly as you realized what you'd almost said.

"What?" Billy closed the gap between you, searching your eyes and grasping your shoulders, his touch causing you to stiffen. You hated that you wanted it, wanted him to pull you into his arms and tell you everything was okay. "I know somethin' happened, what-?"

You sniffled, smoothing a nervous hand over your midsection without thinking. His gaze dropped, and he froze. As soon as you realized what you'd done, you tried to step away but he held you firm, eyes never straying.

"You're-" Billy swallowed, growing pale at the notion. "Sweetheart, you're-"

Now your vision was blurry, hot tears springing and falling without your permission. You folded your arms over yourself, feeling your hands start to shake. Billy's hands flew to your cheeks, tilting your face up so you were looking at him, into those deep blue eyes that had gotten you into this mess to begin with. In the softest voice you could imagine, he asked, "Is it mine?" Sniffling once, you nodded. Billy exhaled, one hand sliding to your crown and pulling you into his chest. You didn't fight him.

Being back in his arms was a daydream you'd let yourself indulge in only a few times. But no amount of imagining compared to the real thing. He engulfed you, pulling you in like you'd been lost at sea,

Sinking into him, you could feel yourself breaking. This is what you had craved ever since you'd found out, the itch only he could scratch. When he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, you closed your eyes. "I needed you."

"I know." His voice was unsteady, nearly breaking as he tightened his arms around you. "I know. I'm so sorry, sweetheart." You hid your face in his chest and he smoothed your hair, voice sounding frantic. "I shouldn't've left..."

"I needed you," you repeated desperately, and you swore you felt a tear fall into your hair.

"'m sorry." The emotion in his voice had you grasping at his shirt, trembling as he lowered you both to the ground. He started to rock back and forth, rubbing a hand up and down your back. "I left you alone, I left you-" he cut himself off, burying his face in your hair. Tentatively, you lifted a hand, sinking into his dark curls. The familiarity prompted another tear or two out of you.

When you noticed it'd grown dark, you pulled yourself away, wiping your eyes and risking a look at him. He was solemn, eyes roving over you. It was a look you recognized. Checking, making sure everything was okay. You brushed away another tear, whispering, "It's okay."

"It's not." Billy reached for your hand, eyes soft.

"I've been fine without you, Billy," you snapped, pulling away before his fingers could brush yours. "You don't have to do anything for me."

"I'm not just gonna leave-"

"You had no problem doing it before," you cut him off, reaching up and gripping the porch railing to get to your feet. The sting of humiliation was already coursing through you, and your instinct was to run. "Just go. I'm fine."

Without another look, you strode into the house, making a beeline for your room and shutting the door. Not one set of footsteps, Billy's or your brother's, dared follow you.

Lifting a hand to your face, you slid against the door, body shaking again with tears.

"Outta the way!"

You nearly dropped the plate in your hands, watching your brother stumble into the room with a limp, staggering Billy supported by his shoulder. Blood soaked the blue of his shirt, and your heart gave a pang. Feeling faint, you watched in a daze as he propped him up on the kitchen table, speaking lowly. James looked up, silently shooing you from the room. Turning on your heel, you fled and shut the door behind you, heart pounding in your ears.

Billy's presence on the ranch had been nearly constant since he found out that night, acting as a shadow toward you. Your brother, ever kindhearted, had hired him on, insisting he give work to his oldest friend. You'd protested but stopped once he started to question why it bothered you so much. Catching yourself, you realized James was bound to find out sooner or later. If you kept arguing, it would be sooner.

To Billy's credit, he kept his mouth shut about the paternity of your child. But that didn't mean he kept to himself. It seemed that every second he had away from work he spent at your side, pestering and fussing over you, constantly asking if you were okay, if you needed anything and maybe you should sit down because he didn't want you to get too tired. It was overbearing, and you fought him at every turn.

"Darlin'-" he'd protest, trying to guide you to a chair. "You gotta rest, alright? For you 'n the baby. Please?" Sometimes you would sit down begrudgingly, his pleading blue eyes persuading you into his way. Others, you would push away his hands, some sharp-tongued comment leaving your mouth as you stormed away to be anywhere but near him. Your emotions were running wild, a something you attributed to the new life growing inside you. Although, the circumstances surrounding the arrival of the baby's father couldn't have helped.

Still, he persisted. It was impressive, really. The way he kept at it, never once giving up. Whenever you burst out and told him to leave you alone, he just stood there, letting you take it out on him. It always ended in tears.

You cried more now than you ever had before, in private most often. Really, your head was all muddled from everything happening all at once. Billy was trying to flow seamlessly back into your life, but you wouldn't let him. He didn't deserve to get back in so easily this time.

But now as you paced the length of the living room, anxiety squeezing your heart and hammering at your ribs, the only thing in your heart was regret. A fierce sickness that clouded your senses and brought tears to your eyes. What if he died? What if the father of your child died and you could have forgiven him and you didn't? He'd hurt you, there was no doubt about it. But he cared. He'd proved it a million times since he found out, putting down roots just in case you decided you wanted him.

Here, as you shuddered and shook over the idea of losing him, you knew it was more than that.

"Hey-" At the sound of your brother's voice, your head snapped up. James looked harried, clenching his jaw as he ran a hand over his hair. "He's askin' for you. I can't do anything 'nless he sits still-"

"I'm coming." Your feet were moving before you knew it, and you stepped past James into the kitchen, heading straight for Billy.

The moment he saw you, he reached out, motions almost drunken. "Baby..." he slurred, catching your hand. "So...so pretty. Prettiest girl in the west..."

"Billy what happened?" you asked, squeezing his hand, brow scrunched. You were trying to ignore the blood on his shirt, the red growing deeper by the second. James was fetching something in the other room, bandages most likely.

"Shoot...shootout, darlin'..." he managed, grinning up at you and wincing when he shifted. The pain must be making him woozy. "Don' worry 'bout me..."

"Why were you in a shootout?" you asked, horrified. Holding his hand close to your heart, you whispered, "You weren't on the ranch."

"Tryna make a lil' extra, honey." Billy reached out with his other hand, cupping your face. "F' the baby. 'n you." He pulled your fingers down to his lips. "Wanna marry you, pretty. Do it right..." Wincing, he tried to continue. "Didn't do right by ya the first time...wanna make it better..."

James interrupted, arriving with a messy pile of medical supplies in his arms. "Give him some laudanum." He shoved the bottle and a spoon into your hands, not seeming to notice the look on your face leftover from what Billy said. Almost stiffened by shock, you measured the amount and fed it to him, praying it would kick in sooner rather than later.

"Good. Help me get his shirt off." James nodded at Billy. In your condition, your brother wouldn't dare have you help with something like this unless it were dire.

With shaky hands, you got to work, ignoring the way Billy was blatantly watching you, as if you were a saint in a storm. You didn't grimace when his blood stained your hands, peeling the shirt away from his chest and working his arm out one side while James did the other. He tossed it to the side, tearing his eyes away from Billy. "You're gonna talk to 'im okay? Distract him cause I dunno when the medicine'll kick in."

"Okay," you whispered, still staring into Billy's eyes. They were clouded over, his head lulling. When James started to dab at the affected area, Billy gritted his teeth, grunting and reaching for your hand on his uninjured side.

You remembered your job, squeezing his hand. "I..." Panic was seizing you, holding your tongue. James gave you a look, and you were kicked into action. "It's okay. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna get you fixed up, alright?" Tears pricked at your eyes. "Billy, you've gotta hang on, alright? I...we need you. Both of us." You weren't talking about you and James.

Billy's eyes went soft, and he held fast to your hand, looking up at you like a puppy. You wouldn't be surprised if he melted off the table, a snowdrift in the sun. James was hard at work, and you avoided looking. You never wanted to see this much of Billy's blood again.

A thousand questions poked at your tongue, things you wanted to ask your brother, ask the father of your child, but you held back. Later you'd interrogate them all you wanted, but for now Billy's safety was at stake.

"Need to sit him up," James finally said, sliding his arm under Billy's shoulders. "Here- get on the table and keep 'im steady." You scooted up, feeling numb as you went through the motions. Billy looked dazed, but he was still as you tucked your shoulder under his arm, back against his side. His fingers splayed out, seemingly searching for something, and you gave him your hand.

James wrapped the bandage around Billy's middle, and you shifted your body as needed, still pressed to him. It was precautionary; he wasn't nearly out of it enough that he'd have trouble staying upright. But you found yourself wanting to stay, your mind telling you that if you left for even a second, he'd collapse and never wake up.

"Alright." James stood up, nudging his chair back. "He's gonna be fine. Was just a graze, so we'll check it every little bit."

Your eyes were on the ground, Billy's hand in yours the only thing you were aware of. The pounding of your heart slowed when it was confirmed that he would be okay, but you still wanted to cry. You almost lost him today, with every unsaid thing still poking at your backs.

James managed to guide him out of the kitchen, depositing him in his own bedroom for now. You trailed in behind them, unable to tear your eyes away from Billy, shirtless and bandaged, his eyes fluttering shut as the lingering opium in his system lured sleep to him. He's safe. He's safe, you repeated to yourself. He's safe.

Turning to James, you hissed, "What the hell were you doing that ended in a gunfight?"

Swallowing, your brother shifted on his feet. "Was a job. We've done 'em before 'n everything was fine but this time..." he winced. "'nother gang showed up and they wouldn't back off. We're lucky he wasn't hurt worse."

You stood shocked, eyes wide. "A job-"

"Before you say anythin'-" James held up his hands. "Billy was stubborn 'bout it. He wanted...well..." His eyes fell to your midsection, which became more swollen by the day. "He's been lookin' for ways to make more money for you 'n..."

Your heart sank. He knew. Turning to look at the man sleeping on the bed, you felt another wave of emotion crash over you.

"He cares a lot about you," James said quietly. "He woulda done it without my help, but it's a good thing he didn't."

Silent, you fought back tears, regret welling up like a river after the first snowfall. All this time while you'd been pushing him away and insisting you didn't need him, he'd been working for you. For your future, and for the baby. You knew all too well that any other man would have run for the hills and left you with "your" problem, but not Billy.

You'd been taking him for granted. And it had almost killed him.

Looking back at your brother, you whispered, "I can watch him for awhile. You go clean up. You can use my room if you need some rest." The sun was still high in the sky, but James looked exhausted. He merely nodded, meandering away after a final glance at Billy.

James' footsteps thumped away, and you sank into a chair close to Billy, watching the rise and fall of his chest like his life depended on it.

Sliding a hand over your belly, you found yourself trying not to cry again. For months you'd had yourself convinced that you didn't need him, that you could do this on your own. Have the baby and do the best you could, all the while nursing an ache that you refused to admit was there.

A tear bubbled up, spilling from your eye, and you sniffled, looking down and swiping at it. It proved to be pointless when more sprouted, flowing down your cheeks faster than you could get rid of them. You took in a sharp breath, letting your hand drop to your lap as you cried silently, the tightness in your chest nearly suffocating.

You nearly jumped when you felt a hand on your knee, palm warm as it rested there. When you looked up at Billy, his eyes were open, brow scrunched in concern. You tried to clear your tears with your hand again, but he squeezed your thigh.

"Sweetheart..." his voice was sleepy. "What's wrong?"

"Go back to sleep, Billy," you tried, blinking rapidly, sniffling and setting your other hand on his. "You need to rest."

"Been tellin' you the same thing for weeks," he mumbled, shifting to the side and lifting his hand from your leg, effectively opening his arm. "C'mere." When you only stared at him, the corners of his lips turned up just slightly. "'s okay. We both need it."

All resolve gone, you found yourself obliging, crawling into bed with him on his uninjured side and letting him guide your head to his shoulder, body relaxing once it was against his. As you settled into him, his hand found its way around your waist, the tips of his fingers on your swollen tummy. It felt like a missing piece of you sliding into place.

"I'm sorry." The words fell out of your mouth, and Billy hummed, rubbing your side.

You couldn't see his face, but you knew the furrow in his brows hadn't unfolded. "What for?"

Everything. There were a million things you wanted to say, but they all fell short when you lifted your head to look up at him. Earnest blue eyes, hitched to you like you were the one thing keeping him from floating into the stars. Swallowing, you whispered, "You got hurt...because of me..."

"No." Billy's hand pressed at your side until you laid back down. "No, that wasn't your fault. Was a stupid thing to do."

"You were doing it for me..." you whispered, more tears blurring your vision. "And I haven't been kind to you since you came back."

"Hey-" Billy grunted as he sat up a little, bringing you with him. Leaning against the headboard, his fingers drew a soothing vertical pattern at your waist. He searched your eyes, shaking his head. "I shouldn't've left. It's the worst thing I ever did. Leavin' you alone after what we did..." he exhaled deeply, mouth flattened. "It was bad enough I did it the first time."

"But you had a reason...'n I shouldn't have been so mad..." you whispered.

He thumbed the side of your face, eyes tender. "I thought I was protecting you." His shoulders slumped. "But all I did was hurt you."

"It's okay," you breathed, holding his wrist. There was no bitterness or loathing or grudges behind it. Everything that had happened was in the past. He was here now.

"It's not," Billy mumbled, but his expression lightened. You knew your anger at him must have taken a toll, and it must have been a relief not to have it burning him anymore. He brought his hand to the back of your head, stroking your hair with his thumb. "You know I've loved you all this time? Think there's somethin' wrong with me. Like I'm cursed. Bad things happen to the ones I love and it's usually my fault."

"No, bad things happen to everyone," you corrected, heart aching. Swallowing, you softly said, "I've loved you too. All the while."

Billy paused, his eyes softening. The way he watched your expression like he was making sure it wasn't a trick broke your heart all over again. He'd been hurting just as much as you, and you'd been too caught up to notice.

You leaned forward, catching his lips in a soft kiss, careful not to lean on his injured side. He used his hand at your crown to hold you to him, mouth moving slow and steady and easy, the feeling of his mouth against yours nearly convincing you he never left. You may as well have been eighteen again, fresh in love and invincible.

Pulling back, Billy brushed a kiss to your nose, than your forehead, and you closed your eyes. His hand found your tummy again, hold protective. "I love you. You and the baby."

"I love you," you whispered, meaning every syllable. Billy relaxed back into the bed, pulling you down with him and grinning when your belly poked him in the side. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder, eyes falling shut. "I've wanted you with me but I didn't know how to say it..."

"I wanted you too." Billy smoothed your hair, kissing your head. "I wanted to be here for you."

"You have been. Over and over," you promised, hand rubbing his chest. His skin was warm, and you felt sleepy just lying against it. "Over...and over..."

As you drifted off into dreamland, a part of you panicked, remembering the last time you'd fallen asleep next to him. A voice told you to keep your eyes open, to make sure he wouldn't run.

But when he pulled you in impossibly closer, laying another kiss to your head and sleepily mumbling that he loved you, the voice disappeared. You shifted comfortably, knowing when you woke up, he would still be here.

He would stay.

#billy the kid #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid fanfiction #billy the kid x you #billy the kid 2022 #billy the kid imagine #tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #billy the kid fic #billy the kid fluff #billy the kid tom blyth #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth characters #tom blyth fanfiction #billy bonney #billy bonney x reader #milliesfishes billy

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lqveharrington · 10 months ago

Text

Dust Storm | W.H.B.

summary: You and Billy get caught up in a dust storm while on a horse ride.

pairing: William H. Bonney x fem!reader

includes: slight angst, fluff, you and billy are engaged, not a lot of warnings 🤷‍♀️ let me know if i missed any !!

a/n: i had this sitting in my drafts for a billion years 😭 my bad bookies

It had been days since that last dust storm blew in and the spirits in the small county of Talihina, Oklahoma were high. However, there was no rain insight. And with no rain, it left many farmers with empty fields, covered in dried-out dirt and sand. It especially hit the Ashford farm and ranch the hardest.

The Ashfords were the wealthiest family in Talihina. They were well known for being able to run a horse ranch and a healthy farm. The father, James Ashford, was in charge of both the ranch and farm, making sure everything ran smoothly. His wife, Josephina Ashford, better known as Jo, was known for helping around the town and giving to those in need. Luckily for the couple, they had two children who helped them with their work. They had a daughter and a son. You were the eldest Ashford child, and you had a bright future. You resemble your mother in all ways. You were the kind of woman to make young men turn their heads just by walking by. Unfortunately for them, you were happily engaged to one William H. Bonney. On the other hand, your younger brother looked like a replica of your father. Adam Ashford was eight years old with the same determination as his father, hoping to take over the farm and ranch when he got older.

But because of the dust storms starting up two years ago, it was harder to tend to the crops that would grow and bring the horses out of their stables. Before, you would help your father to tend to the horses when you weren't doing volunteer work, but with the constant dust blowing around the whole country, he banned you from leaving the house unless it was absolutely clear from dust. And for the first time in two years, James let his daughter out of the house. Only to run her mother’s errands, of course.

“In case of emergencies,” James tied a red bandana around your wrist as you took your mother’s list and woven basket from the kitchen table. “Wrap this around your head and cover your mouth and nose. I don’t want you to get hurt. And remember to come straight back from the markets—”

“Pa, I’ll be fine.” You squeezed her father’s forearm, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

He sighed and shook his head, “Okay.”

You squeezed his arm again before leaving, silently reassuring her safety. You took quick strides to the town center and watched the dust kick up with every step you took. The walk going to town wasn’t bad. The only downside was that there was no shelter for any incoming dust storms. Fortunately, the blazing sun was beating down on the earth and the wind was seemingly absent.

Upon reaching the town center you smiled at the sight in front of you. You found children running around with wooden toys their fathers made and their mothers gossiping about the recent family who left for California. It felt normal. For the first time in years, it felt normal to see mothers scolding their children for messing with drunkards sitting outside of the bars.

You shook your head before entering the town’s only grocery, the bell above the door ringing to alert the storekeeper. “Mr. Taylor?”

“Miss Ashford!” The storekeeper beamed at the young woman. “What brings you into town? I haven’t seen you and your folks for a while.”

You gave him a tight-lipped smile, “With all this dust, I would hardly expect anyone to be hustlin’ ‘round town.”

“What can I do for you?” He dismissed the comment.

“I’m in need of some of your delicious Fuji apples. My ma s'been craving them ever since Adam read a book about them to her.” You looked around the empty store. “Other than that, I can grab the res’ of the things myself.”

“I’ll be right back.” He knocked the wood on the counter, heading toward the back of the store. You watched him leave before heading into the different aisles, glancing at the brands and prices of the different items. In fact, you were so immersed in deciding which brand of vegetable oil would be best that you hadn’t realized someone new had entered the store until a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and spun you off the ground.

“Oh my god!” You clung onto the stranger’s arm, not wanting to fall face-first onto the ground. You glanced back at the stranger before gasping, eyes lighting up at the male. “Billy!”

“Afternoon, gorgeous.” He put you down and kissed your cheek.

You felt your face warm at the name and action, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “What are you doing here?”

“My ma sent me into town to get money from the bank.” Billy followed you around the store, his gaze flickering across your face. “Then I saw my favorite woman walk into town. I decided I could spare some time to talk to her.”

“Uh-huh.” You spun on your heel and peered into his eyes. “Did you get the money for your folks? Or did you forget?”

“You think so low of me, sweetheart.” He tilted your head up with his finger. “Of course I got the money.”

You hummed, giving him a proper look now. William H. Bonney was once a lanky boy in grade school. But he had definitely grown into himself. He got stronger and taller over the course of two years. The loose clothes he once wore now perfectly fit him, making you flush red each time you saw him. Your eyes then traveled from his fit shirt to his tattered, dust-covered boots. You frowned at the state they were in, but no one could do any better from the current weather the states were currently facing. Finally, you shifted your gaze to meet his eyes once more. His crystal blue eyes were such a beautiful contrast to the dust coating his dark jeans and his wavy brown hair. You swore you could get lost in them if it weren’t for him pulling you back to reality each time.

“You’re staring, gorgeous.” Billy grinned, earning a small scoff from his beloved.

“You’re impossible.” You shoved two bars of soap into your basket, heading toward the counter where the apples were waiting.

Mr. Taylor suppressed a laugh at the young couple, taking the basket from your arms. “That all for today, Miss Ashford?”

You hummed as you took your wallet out of your dress pocket, “How much?”

“$3.42 is the total.” He read off the cash register as you handed him the exact amount, trading it for the baskets of groceries and apples.

“Thank you, Mr. Taylor.” You smiled at him and moved to grab Billy’s hand as you left the store, intertwining them. “What’ve you been up to since I’ve last seen you?”

“Since last week?” Billy pulled you closer to him, squeezing your hand. “ Not much has happened since I visited your place. Just helping my ma in the fields like always.”

You nodded and looked toward the ground, watching the dust cling onto your leather boots and the bottom of your maroon dress. “The dust storm affecting your folks’ farm badly?”

“It’s affecting everyone, sweetheart.” He pulled you away from a stampede of running children. “No one can get any crops.”

“I know…” You muttered, rubbing small circles into his palm. You peered up at the bright sun, squinting at the beam. “You know what I wish for?”

“What?”

“I wish for everything to go back to normal.” You adjusted your hat, the Ashford ranch coming into view. “The dust storms have ruined everyone’s crops. I can barely step foot out of my own house. There hasn’t been any rain since god knows when. My pa won’t let me tend to the horses. It’s madness, Billy.”

“M’sorry, sweetheart.” He kissed the side of your head. “I can’t promise everything will go back to normal, but in the meantime, I can find a way to ride horses with you. ”

“William, what’s that supposed to mean?” You squinted at him, his piercing gaze meeting yours. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably not a good idea—!”

“Come on. We can ride the horses and be back before your folks worry.” He pulled you into the Ashford stables, taking the baskets from your arms and tucking them safely in a corner.

You bit your lip, looking at the groceries and then back at the brunette, cursing him for being so convincing. “Fine.”

Laughter filled the air as you raced Billy through the back trails of Talihina, the generated wind blowing through your hair. It felt like you were both young teenagers who had no idea they were in love with one another, doing reckless activities until they were caught by one’s parents.

“Pick up the pace, Bonney!” You shouted as you saw Billy catching up, urging your horse to move faster.

A huge amount of dust kicked up with every stride the horses took, and if you looked back, you wouldn’t be able to see anything. Billy shook his head with a smile and copied you, finally riding beside the pair.

“Sweetheart, you know I can beat you in any horse race.” He chuckles as he brings his horse to a stop, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “You feel any better?”

You nodded and glanced to your left as you tugged on your horse’s reins, meeting his blue eyes. “I do feel better. Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He tipped his hat in your direction. “Ready to go back?”

Your smile slowly faded but nodded, “Yeah.”

“Hey, we don’t need to rush. We can take as long as we want to go back if you want.”

“I’d like that.” You guided your horse to head back toward the ranch. “In the meantime, you can tell me all about what you’re gonna do when your ma finds out where you’ve been all day.”

“I can tell her I’ve been with my girl all day.” He bit back a smirk when he saw your cheeks tint pink. “I think my folks love you more than me.”

You shoved his shoulder, your engagement ring glistening in the sun. “They should love me more than you. I think my Pa loves you more than me.”

“Impossible.” Billy took your hand and kissed the back of it.

The young couple took short strides on their horses as the sun slowly faded away. One could argue that the sun was setting, but it was still much too early for the sun to set.

“What time do you have on your watch?” You looked back at the darkening sky, picking up the pace.

“3 PM,” Billy muttered, looking into your panicked eyes. “We gotta go.”

The both of you started to rush your horses back as the wind picked up, dust blowing around them which impaired your vision. You hastily removed the bandana from your wrist and tied it around your head, keeping your balance. Billy kept one hand on the reins and shoved his own bandana up, covering his nose and mouth. The sky was now covered with dust clouds and the wind blew harshly against your backs, the mix of dry dirt and sand hitting their exposed skin.

“Are you okay over there?” Billy shouted over the blowing wind. “Y/N?”

“I’m fine!” You blinked away tears from the dirt that stung your eyes, squeezing your legs to make your horse move faster. You could just barely make out your family’s farm, but with each passing second it became more and more obscure.

“Sweetheart, we have to go to the stables! It’s closer to us than your house!” He veered his horse over to the left.

“I can’t! My folks will worry and—”

“Y/N!” He snaps you out of your spiraling thoughts. “Please!”

You quickly followed him and turned toward the stables. Billy slammed the front doors open, causing chaos to erupt inside. The other horses stood on their hind legs, thrashing as the harsh wind blew the dust inside. You raced inside as Billy jumped off his horse and slammed the stable doors shut, grabbing bales of wheat and shoving them by the front. You took deep breaths as you tried calming your own horse, resting your forehead against the head of your horse.

“This dust storm ain’t gonna go away anytime soon.” Billy rubbed dust off his face, removing his mask. “We’ll be fine in here.”

You nodded weakly, combing your fingers through your horse’s dusty hair. “We shouldn’t have gone out— I-I promised my pa that I’d be back—”

“Hey, look at me.” He went over and took your fidgeting hand. “They’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. When the storm eventually calms down, we'll head over to your place.” He slowly helped you off the horse and held your dirtied face in his hands, slipping your bandana off and wiping your muddy tears. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You took a breath, holding onto his wrists, following his breathing pattern. You rested your forehead on his, shutting your eyes. “Okay.”

The dust storm only accumulated as time progressed. The field and crops were covered in piles of dust once more and the automobiles were suddenly buried underneath the dried dirt. Those who were inside any buildings had dust seeping through the smallest slivers, despite the taped downed windows and towels blocking the doors. It was as if the storm would never stop, deeply worrying the Ashford family for their daughter’s safety.

“James, you can’t leave!” Jo whispered toward her husband, arms crossed over her chest in disbelief. “It’s late and you wouldn’t be able to see anything with all of that dust blowin’. Adam worries for his sister, but imagine the grief if he lost his pa and his sister?”

“I can’t sleep without knowin’ if my little girl is fine, Jo,” James argued, tightly tying a handkerchief around his head. “If Adam wakes, don’t tell him where his pa went—”

“James!” She held his arm in desperation, holding eye contact. “The storm might end soon, don’t risk it.” She looked between his eyes as he glanced toward the backdoor. “Please.”

His gaze softened at his wife’s demeanor and pulled her into a hug. “I’ll wait.”

“Thank you.” She murmured, wrapping her arms around him. “When the storm dies down, you can go. I won’t stop you then… I worry about our little girl too.”

The storm kept blowing until early morning. The crops were now either torn out of the ground or buried deep within dry dirt and families had given up on keeping the dust out of their homes. James and Josephina Ashford fell asleep at their kitchen table waiting for the storm to pipe down while you fell asleep in the stables in the security of your lover’s arms. William H. Bonney, on the other hand, stayed awake. He was constantly listening for the winds to quiet to let you know you could head home. In the early hours of the new day, Billy gently shook the woman beside him awake.

“Sweetheart, wake up.” He brushed the dust off that had fallen on you overnight, watching you shift closer to him. “Gorgeous.”

“Give me a minute, William.” You groaned, using his government name as a threat.

He chuckled and sat up straight, bringing you along with him. “The storm stopped, you can go home now.”

Your eyes shot open and you looked over at the male incredulously. “You should’ve said that first, idiot. Let’s go.”

Billy smiled as he stood, helping you up. He shook the final bits of dust off as best as he could and moved the hay bales away from the doors. Billy tilted his head toward you, silently signaling you to head home. You grinned and picked up your dress, racing over to the house without stumbling. You burst into the house and discarded the dust entering as well, finding your parents standing by the kitchen’s backdoor. James had his handkerchief tied across his face, triggering your tears.

“Y/N.” Her father let out a breath of relief and engulfed you in a tight hug. “You’re safe. You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry.” You sobbed into your father’s shirt, clinging onto him. “I’m so sorry, pa.”

“Why are you crying, sweet girl?” He rubbed your face. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t go straight home. I wanted to be out more, so I-I rode on the horses with Billy an-and then the storm started up. I shouldn’t have gone. I should’ve gone home right away. I should’ve stayed home. I shouldn’t have—”

“Hey, you’re alright.” James sat you down in one of the wooden chairs, removing his handkerchief from his face. “You’re safe. You’re home.”

You sniffled, looking up at your mother who had tears in her eyes too. “I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t wanna worry you…”

“My baby,” She knelt on the ground, taking your hands in her own. “I’m just glad you’re safe. The worst didn’t happen. You’re here. You aren’t hurt.”

Billy knocked on the side of the wall, making his presence known. In return, all heads whipped over to him. “I brought the groceries your daughter bought the other day.”

“William, come over here.” Your father beckoned him over.

“Yes, sir?” Billy stood by your side, removing his hat.

James sighed, putting his hand out. “Thank you for watching over my daughter.”

“Anytime.” Billy shook his hand, bringing him in for a hug. “I would risk my life for your daughter every single time.”

You lightly sock his arm at the mention, lacing your hands together. “Thank you.”

“I mean, now that you’re here, why don’t you help clear the dust out of our house? I’m sure my daughter has brought in heaps of it from runnin’ in here.” Jo patted her future son-in-law’s shoulder.

You flushed red as Billy chuckled, feeling him squeeze your hand at the comment. “Of course, Mrs. Ashford.”

The young couple got to work clearing out the dust while Jo and James started preparing breakfast for the day. It would be a while until all the dust would clear out of the house completely, but it wasn’t the worst problem they had. The dust storm that day might have ended, but little did the Ashford family know that it would only be the true beginning of their hardships.

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