#jake peralta energy

[magnificentwolfface]

What If KinnPorsche Characters Were in Brooklyn Nine-Nine?

Okay, hear me out—what if we took the wild, chaotic, and heartfelt vibes of KinnPorsche: The Series La Forte and mashed them up with the comedy genius of Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Like, imagine the characters of KinnPorsche in the roles of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Here’s what I came up with:

■Porsche as Jake Peralta

Let’s be real, Porsche is Jake. He’s chaotic, impulsive, and endlessly resourceful. He’d definitely annoy everyone with his antics but also come through as the most loyal friend and partner. Plus, Porsche would totally make ridiculous bets with Kinn like Jake does with Holt.

■Big as Amy Santiago

Big gives off that perfectionist, rules-are-meant-to-be-followed vibe, but underneath it all, he's deeply caring and just wants things to run smoothly. Like Amy, Big is always trying to keep the chaos in check and often ends up being Porsche’s voice of reason.

■Pete as Charles Boyle

Pete = bestie goals. He’d 100% be the Charles to Porsche’s Jake, always hyping him up and low-key making everyone laugh with his overly dramatic loyalty and love for his friend. Also, Pete being the soft, food-loving emotional one? Yeah, that’s Boyle energy.

■Kim as Rosa Diaz

The mysterious, brooding, doesn’t-take-any-bs energy? That’s 100% Kim. Rosa vibes all the way. Kim would scare everyone but secretly care a lot about the people in his life.

■Chay as Terry Jeffords

Chay might not have Terry’s physical size, but he definitely has Terry’s big-heart energy. He’d be the one keeping everyone grounded, emotionally supporting the team, and quietly freaking out about the chaos around him.

■Vegas as Gina Linetti

Look, Vegas as Gina just makes sense. He’s eccentric, unpredictable, and absolutely steals every scene he’s in. Plus, the snarky, self-assured attitude? That’s pure Gina energy.

■Tankhun as Scully and Hitchcock

Is it cheating to combine them? Probably. But Tankhun embodies their chaotic, offbeat, how-do-they-even-still-have-jobs vibe. He’s hilariously unbothered yet somehow always there when things hit the fan.

Just add ones that I DESPERATELY NEED:

Tall and muscular Chay

Mpreg? (I know some people don't like it, but I do so if someone does write it in the future, please stay 🙏)

Sky (from Love in the Air) is related to Big

I'll add more in the future, or if I remember something 😉

ALSO I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP WITH THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD 🥲🤗🤭🫢🙂‍↕️😈

[shivgirly]

An iconic moment from every B99 episode: Yippie Kayak 3x10

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Race: Remember when you told me not to burn down the lodgehouse?

Jack: You burned down the lodgehouse?

Race: No, I had the fire out almost immediately

Race: This is a success story

[grandmoments]

The couple energy

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

So @themasterofcard and I were talking the other day about White Collar + Batfam crossovers, and how amazing a similar concept would be with Brooklyn 99

There's the obvious like everyone collectively making jokes about Bruce and Holt but also

Dick Grayson and Charles Boyle interacting would be the funniest thing ever for so many reasons (their energies, sense of style, and the fact that Dick's name is Dick and Boyle is constantly accidentally sexualizing conversations)

Tim and Amy would be talking a million miles a minute in front of a bulletin board which totally doesn't look serial killerish at all, working on cases and theories and generally looking more crazy as they get more focused

Rosa and Jason immediately and wordlessly respect each other, but Rosa and Damian get along a little too well and become a danger to others (especially if she has her axe and/or dog)

Selina and Doug Judy are best friends, but no one agrees on how they met (or why they're in the precinct)

Holt later calls Cass a "delightful conversation partner" despite the fact that no one heard either of them say anything to each other

Boyle either has no concept of which superheros are fictional and which ones are real (to Jake's frustration), or otherwise just flat out gets their names wrong

"My favorite is the flashlight"

"Boyle, do you mean the flash?"

"No no the one with the powers"

"That doesn't narrow it down"

[He's talking about Signal somehow]

"And of course the little dude. He's Nikolaj's favorite"

"Robin?"

"Come on Jake we've been over this the kid's name is Sparrow, get your birds right"

[Holt starts agreeing that Sparrow is a much more suitable name for a hero anyways for some stupidly academic reason, so Jake must be wrong]

Also, most importantly:

ACE AND CHEDDAR

[thesweetnessofspring]

The fact that Jake Peralta finds ways to fake-propose/be fake-engaged to Amy Santiago whenever the opportunity presents itself is the kind of energy all ships need to have.

[blueeyedbesson]

all i have so far is jake peralta 😂

i need some help, everyone

i need a list of ‘golden retriever’ male tv/movie characters

[bratzkoo]

delivery! (iii)

Author: bratzkoo | credits to @monvante​​ for the banner!

Pairing: pizza delivery guy! jungkook x reader, reader x seokjin

Genre: fluff, comedy (i think?), semi-angst

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings/note: obsession with pizza, swearing, there has been a huge misunderstanding with who the reader is in love with, seokjin is oblivious with the readers feelings, jungkook being the other half of the busan torture device, i made some changes with their ages, it’s a highschool! au but there will be an eventual time skip.

chapter summary: You didn’t have the heart to tell Jungkook that you made a terrible mistake of accidentally confessing to him instead of Seokjin. Fast forward to school day, you see something very upsetting in the cafeteria.

delivery i | delivery ii | requests are close, for now | masterlist

That night, Jimin barged into your house. "BITCH! I KNOW YOU'RE SAD, BUT I HAVE NEWS!"

You paused the TV and moved to the side of the sofa to make room for him. You were watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine, trying to distract yourself from the day's events with Jake Peralta's antics. Empty chip bags and cookie wrappers littered your coffee table – evidence of your emotional eating spree.

"What news, Chim?" You asked, not having a lot of energy because of Sana's betrayal. You were wearing your comfort clothes: oversized hoodie and sweatpants, hair messily tied up.

"Karma is a bitch!" Jimin clasped his hands, practically vibrating with excitement. His uniform was disheveled, tie loose around his neck, suggesting he ran straight to your house after school. "Right before we left the canteen a guy-- no one knows who he is-- but I would date him for what he did. Get this, he accidentally nudged Sana's drink and she got soaked with iced tea and he just continued walking without even giving her a second glance. He's so girly pop!"

"Wait, what?" You sat up straighter, pushing aside your blanket fortress.

"YES!" Jimin jumped onto the sofa, nearly knocking over your remaining snacks. "Oh my god, you should have seen it! She was wearing that white designer blouse she always brags about—"

"The one she kept saying was from Paris?" You interrupted.

"THAT ONE!" Jimin's eyes sparkled with vindictive glee. "Now it's more like tea-dyed couture! And the way this guy just walked away? Iconic! She was standing there, mouth open like a fish, tea dripping everywhere. He didn't even flinch!"

Despite your determination to wallow in misery, you felt your lips twitching. "What did Jin do?"

"That's the best part!" Jimin grabbed a cookie from your stash. "He tried to help her clean up, but she was so embarrassed she just ran to the bathroom. Literally ran! In her designer heels! I saw at least three people recording it."

You couldn't help but laugh at the mental image. "I shouldn't find this funny..."

"But you do!" Jimin pointed the half-eaten cookie at you accusingly. "See? You're smiling! First genuine smile I've seen all day."

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table, interrupting Jimin's victory dance. A text from Jungkook lit up your screen:

[Kookie 🐰]: Hey, noticed you seemed down today. Hope you're feeling better! [Kookie 🐰]: I saved you an extra fortune cookie from the restaurant 🥠

You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness. Even through text, his shy sweetness came through.

"Ohooo? What's bunny boy saying?" Jimin tried to peek at your phone, nearly falling into your lap in the process.

"Nothing!" You pulled your phone away, feeling your cheeks warm. "Just asking how I am."

"You know," Jimin's voice turned serious as he settled back into his spot, "he might be good for you."

"Chim..."

"I'm just saying!" He held up his hands defensively. "The guy clearly cares about you. And unlike certain seniors we know, he actually shows it."

You threw a pillow at him. "Can we go back to talking about Sana's tea bath?"

"Fine, fine!" Jimin grinned. "But let me tell you about her mascara running down her face first!"

The next morning, you were still thinking about the mysterious tea hero while walking to school. You'd barely slept, caught between replaying Jimin's story about Sana and texting Jungkook until 2 AM. He'd somehow gotten you to laugh with his terrible dad jokes and cute emoji usage.

You were checking your phone, rereading his good morning text (complete with a bunny emoji), when you turned a corner too quickly and crashed into someone. Your phone flew out of your hand.

"I'm so sorry!" You started apologizing before looking up, scrambling to pick up your phone. Your jaw dropped when you saw Jungkook in your school's uniform, already holding your phone out to you. His dark hair was slightly messy, like he'd been running his hands through it.

"Hi," he said with his usual shy smile, the one that made his nose scrunch up slightly.

"You go here?!" You practically shouted, causing several passing students to stare.

"Since freshman year..." he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit you'd noticed he had when he was nervous. "I'm in Class 3-B."

You were about to respond when you noticed something – a faint brown stain on his white uniform sleeve. Your eyes widened as you connected the dots, remembering Jimin's vivid description from last night.

"Oh my god, it was you!"

His ears turned red but he had a slight smirk playing at his lips. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"The tea! Yesterday! With Sana!"

He shrugged, trying to look innocent but failing miserably. His eyes gave him away – there was a mischievous glint in them you'd never noticed before. "She wasn't being very nice to you."

Before you could respond, Jimin's unmistakable screech echoed through the hallway. "YOU'RE THE TEA KING?!"

"Chim!" You tried to shush him but he was already running towards you both, his bag swinging wildly behind him.

"AND YOU'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!" Jimin looked between you and Jungkook like he was watching a tennis match. "This is better than my dramas! No, this is better than that time I caught Mr. Park singing TWICE in the faculty room!"

Jungkook looked mortified as other students started gathering, whispering and pointing. His ears were now completely red. "I should get to class..."

"Wait!" You grabbed his sleeve without thinking. The fabric was soft under your fingers, and you could feel his arm tense slightly at your touch. "Have lunch with us today?"

His whole face lit up, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Really?"

"Yeah, we can eat at the courtyard. You know, the one behind the science building?" You found yourself rambling slightly. "It's usually quiet there."

"I'd like that," he said softly, giving you one last smile before heading towards his classroom.

As you watched him walk away, Jimin nudged you so hard you almost fell over. "So, I did some digging – and by digging I mean I terrorized that kid Taehyung from 3-B until he spilled everything."

"Chim!"

"What? I brought him coffee!" Jimin defended himself. "Anyway, apparently your bunny boy is quite popular in 3-B. He's president of the photography club and everything. The quiet mysterious type, you know?"

"How did I never notice him before?" You wondered aloud, thinking about all the school events you must have crossed paths at.

"Because you were too busy making heart eyes at Jin?" Jimin dodged your attempt to hit him, laughing. "Just saying! Though I have to admit, the whole 'secretly spilling tea on your enemy' thing is way hotter than Jin's dad jokes."

"They're not dad jokes, they're—" you stopped yourself, realizing you were defending Jin out of habit.

Jimin's expression softened. "Hey, want to hear what else Taehyung told me about your knight in shining delivery uniform?"

The courtyard behind the science building was your favorite spot in school. It was quieter than the cafeteria, with a few wooden benches scattered under large trees. During lunch, you and Jimin were already settled there when Jungkook appeared, holding his camera and looking slightly nervous.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, sitting across from you. "Had to help set up for the photography club meeting later."

"No worries! Not like you're delivering pizzas right now," Jimin grinned, then turned to you. "You know, he's actually the only employee who's never quit despite my tyranny."

"You mean despite you abandoning him during weekend shifts?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Hey! Dad lets me get away with it because Kookie here brings in the most tips," Jimin defended himself. "The ladies love him."

Jungkook's ears turned red. "They just feel bad because I'm usually alone during rush hour."

"Sure, sure. Nothing to do with your puppy eyes at all," Jimin winked. "Speaking of which, did you know he's also the photography club president?"

"Really?" You asked, watching Jungkook fidget with his camera.

"According to Taehyung, he's been doing the yearbook photos since freshman year," Jimin added, mouth full of kimbap. "My employee is so talented!"

Jungkook ducked his head, embarrassed. "It's not a big deal..."

"Can I see some of your photos?" You asked, genuinely curious.

He hesitated before pulling out his phone. "Sure, but uh... don't judge too hard."

As he scrolled through his gallery, you found yourself impressed. There were beautiful shots of the school during sunset, candid moments from sports events, artistic angles of everyday objects that somehow looked magical.

"These are amazing," you said honestly.

"Thanks," he smiled, then paused at a particular photo. His thumb hovered over the screen like he was debating whether to show you.

"What's that one?"

"Um..." he slowly turned his phone towards you. Your breath caught.

It was you, sitting under this very tree last spring. The cherry blossoms were falling, and in the photo, you were laughing at something, petals caught in your hair. The lighting made everything look soft and dreamy.

"I actually have a lot of photos of you," he admitted quietly.

"What?"

He started scrolling faster now – you during the school festival helping at your class booth, you concentrating during the sports day relay race, you teaching a freshman how to get to their classroom.

"This is... kind of creepy but also sweet?" You weren't sure how to feel. Each photo was beautiful, capturing moments you didn't even remember.

"Sorry," he looked embarrassed, running his hand through his hair again. "You just always looked so bright in every shot. I couldn't help it."

"Oh my god, you've had a crush on Y/N forever!" Jimin exclaimed, making both you and Jungkook jump. You'd almost forgotten he was there. "Is that why you never complained about me skipping shifts? Because Y/N always orders from us on weekends?"

"I... yeah," Jungkook admitted, meeting your eyes. "Since freshman year, actually. You helped me find the photography club room when I was lost."

"I did?" You tried to remember.

"You were running late for something, but you still took the time to show me the way," he smiled at the memory. "You probably don't remember."

Later that day, heading to your next class, you passed by Jin and Sana in the hallway. She was clinging to his arm, still slightly pink-stained from yesterday's tea incident. For the first time, you didn't feel that sharp pain in your chest. Instead, you were thinking about lunch with Jungkook, his shy smiles, and the way he saw beauty in ordinary moments.

Your phone buzzed with a text:

[Kookie 🐰]: Thanks for having lunch with me today. Same spot tomorrow? [Kookie 🐰]: I can show you more photos if you want. The non-creepy ones this time 😅

You smiled, typing back a quick "Yes ❤️" before entering your classroom. A small part of your brain noted how natural it felt to add the heart emoji.

Maybe, just maybe, your drunk self wasn't so stupid after all.

"Y/N!" Jimin's voice carried across the classroom. "Taehyung just told me Jungkook has a whole photo album dedicated to—"

You threw your pencil case at him before he could finish. Some things were better left unsaid.

[televisionsavedme-blog]

Jake Peralta has teenager energy, whereas Shawn Spencer has college boy energy. The rest is the same.

[mischiefbuckley]

evan buckley and jake peralta give off the same energy

[helenababs]

NOOOOOOOO

it's an snl digital short where andy samberg and charli xcx have collaborated to make this parody song about being the hoa neighbours being absolute snitches, it's called "here i go"

i hope this link works!!

@rooskayas this soooo much has your jake and my dazzler's energy 😭😭😭

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

Do you know this (noncanon) ADHD character?

Evidence below the cut!

Overall, he is high-energy, impulsive, often has moments of fast changing emotions. He is loyal and uplifting, but often insecure and critical of himself. Has this (very stereotypical adhd-assigned) "golden retriever-vibe" He is childish, clumsy, and "random". But he is focused and alert in dangerous situations. He's a detective and is really good at solving cases, which he sees as riddles and doesn't take them seriously, they're a "game" to him, even horrible murders. He hyperfixates on his work/cases until they are solved. He doesn't sleep a lot and is majorly behind on chores. He is late almost every day and has time management issues and is very unorganized (for example really messy desk, misplacing case files, or his "mail-tub"; he stores all of his mail (which goes unread) as a huge doom-pile in his bathtub.)

Also, it is sort of a running gag that he has major trouble managing his finances. He owes thousands of dollars to his friends/coworkers, has horrible credit, buys a LOT of (expensive) sneakers, bought soon-to-fail NFTs or online currency that lost their value within a day, bought 6(!) Massage chairs for one room (for some reason), spends a few thousand dollars annually to win an halloween-themed in-office bet with his boss, …

[defectivevillain]

so it goes...

pairing: Jake Peralta/Reader

reader’s pronouns are unspecified but masc-intended.

summary: You’re stood up on a date, only for Jake to come in and save the day. 

word count: 2.3k 

[ao3 version]

You have a date today—with someone you’ve been texting back and forth for a while. You wanted to keep it a secret, but the news soon came out after Boyle took your phone from you and started reading your texts aloud. You couldn’t gather the energy to be mad at him for it. Besides, according to Gina and Rosa, you had been acting rather distracted for most of the day anyway. Somehow, the entire precinct now knows you have a date tonight. To your surprise, everyone is extremely supportive and wishes you well. Rosa gives you pointers on how to dispose of a body, which you pretend not to hear. Gina tells you to insist that the other person pays, because your presence “deserves monetary compensation.” The sarge tells you to be safe, and Hitchcock and Scully…. Well, you don’t let them finish what they were going to say to you. That seems to be a wise choice, because Hitchcock later admits that his remark wasn’t tasteful.  

Somehow, Jake Peralta is the only one that you don’t see at all. For a moment, you wonder if he’s avoiding you. You then remember that the two of you have a sort of strange relationship. You’re work nemeses and the two of you usually bicker back and forth instead of having a genuine conversation. Therefore, you’re not exactly surprised that Jake doesn’t approach you to ask you about your date. You don’t think the two of you are close enough to have that kind of conversation.

That notion is proven wrong later that same evening. You’re getting dressed for the date when your phone vibrates a few times. You check your notifications, only to find an unknown number texting you.

Unknown Number: hey

Unknown Number: oh it’s jake peralta btw

You: oh hi

You: what’s up?

Jake Peralta: u have a date 2day right

You: yes, why?

Jake Peralta: where is it

You pause for a moment. Why does he want to know where it is? Whatever. It’s not like any harm will come to you if you tell him. You decide to send him the name of the restaurant, and the two of you text back and forth for a bit longer. You can’t quite discern the purpose behind the ensuing discussion.

Jake Peralta: lmk how ur date goes

You frown in confusion. Why does he want to know? You decide to bite the bullet and just ask.

You: why?

He leaves you on read; you frown. It seems Peralta doesn’t want to answer that question. Ah well. You give up on the idea of interrogating him for further information.

You: okay, i will.

He leaves you on read again—interesting. You don’t know Peralta very well, but it almost appears as if he’s… angry. Did you do something? You scroll up through the conversation one more time, trying to look for anything you could’ve done wrong. You don’t see anything. You get another notification—this time, though, it’s from your date. The conversation with Peralta falls to the back of your mind as you finish getting ready for your date.

Approximately thirty minutes later, you find yourself sitting in the restaurant by yourself. The place is rather fancy, to your chagrin. You certainly wouldn’t have chosen this place for a first date—that’s for sure. The hostess leads you to a table and you sit down.

Minutes pass, and there’s no sign of your date. You’re beginning to feel everyone staring at you with sympathy, and it makes you sick to your stomach. You can’t help but feel horribly embarrassed. Have you been stood up? As time passes, you begin to think that’s the case. It’s now a full thirty minutes from the time you were supposed to meet and you’re forced to come to the conclusion that your date ditched you. You’re humiliated. You’re moments away from crying and getting up from your seat when you see someone out of the corner of your eye.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, babe.” You look up, only to find Jake Peralta walking over to you. He’s dressed rather nicely and there’s an embarrassed smile on his face. “Traffic was horrible.” His voice is a bit louder than it needs to be. You stare at him in confusion. Meanwhile, Jake leans towards you as he takes off his jacket, whispering in your ear. “You never texted me.”

“Peralta…” You break off, beginning to realize what’s happening here. Jake is saving you from any future embarrassment—diverting everyone’s attention by pretending to be your date.

“He didn’t show up?” You nod silently. Jake’s expression turns from suspicious to absolutely indignant. His fists clench at his sides and, for the first time, he looks unspeakably angry. You’ve never seen him look so serious before, and it’s a huge juxtaposition to his typical goofy nature. You suddenly feel the need to break the tension settling in the air.

“It’s fine,” you reassure him. Thankfully, outside attention is finally falling away from you, as the couples around you lose interest in your predicament.

“It definitely isn’t,” Jake says with a sigh. “But, whatever. I’m here now, so you don’t have to worry.” He grins cheekily. You roll your eyes, although you’re sure the relief on your face is evident. The two of you stare at each other for a moment and you realize that this entire situation feels wrong. It’s not Peralta’s presence that throws you off—it’s the restaurant. Your date picked it, and you’re starting to realize that you feel pretty out of place.

“You want to get out of here?” You eventually suggest. Jake looks up from the menu he had been frowning down at. “I’m not really in the mood for this kind of food, anyway.”

“Sure,” Jake shrugs, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair and moving to put it on again. He turns to look at you expectantly. “What’re you in the mood for?” Well, that’s rather courteous of him to ask. You stop to think for a moment.

“Greasy fast food?” You suggest.

“Hell yeah,” Jake grins mischievously. He extends an arm and you take it, allowing him to lead you through the restaurant and outside. Once the two of you are successfully outside, you let your hand fall from his arm and take a deep breath. Jake rattles off a few food places nearby and eventually, the two of you decide to go to the closest one. What follows is a rather enjoyable meal and interesting conversation. Because of your unofficial work rivalry, the two of you had never quite talked to each other except to bicker. It’s nice to learn more about Jake. He’s pretty goofy at work, but you know that he has other things going on under that immature exterior.

“I’m sorry your date ditched you,” Jake says some time later. There’s sympathy written all over his face and you suddenly feel deeply, profoundly embarrassed. You bite your lip. You’re thankful for his concern, of course, but…

“It’s fine,” you lie through your teeth. Silence descends in the air for a few moments and you can feel Jake’s gaze burning into the side of your face.

“You sure?” Jake’s expression is so concerned that you can’t help but feel guilty at the thought of being the reason for his worry. You inhale shakily. You had tried your best to push aside any thoughts about your original date, but now, they’re rushing back in full force. Why did he ditch you? Were you not worth the effort?

“No,” you admit with a whisper. Jake doesn’t respond to that, instead extending his arms and inviting you to hug him. You wrap your arms around him and bury your head in his shoulder, hoping he doesn’t notice the tears falling down your face. You quickly wipe them away. Jake’s grip is firm and reassuring.

“Thanks, Jake,” you say, once you’ve regained your composure. “I really appreciate it.”

“Any time.” Jake responds, with a frightening amount of sincerity.  The two of you part ways soon after that, with the promise to talk more tomorrow. Jake tells you to text him when you get home and you do so. That night, you fall asleep with conflicting feelings. On the one hand, you’re extremely grateful that Jake stepped up to support you. Plus, your night with him was very enjoyable. On the other hand, well, being stood up on a date makes you feel rather sad. You have to push aside the pointless questions you’re asking yourself—if you had done things differently, if you did anything wrong, etc.—and just go to sleep.

“What was the guy’s name?” Jake asks the next day, once the two of you are in the precinct. You raise your eyebrows at him and he scrambles to explain. “I’m asking for a friend. Definitely not for any other reason.” You glance at him in knowing amusement and he sighs in defeat. “Hey, it was worth a try.”

“Thanks anyway,” you say, unable to hide the fond smile growing on your face. “And, hey, if he hadn’t ditched me, we wouldn’t have had such a great night.”

“You had fun?” You’re unsure how Jake can seem so surprised about that.

“Of course,” you respond, “Did you?”

“Yeah,” Jake responds without hesitation. He then pauses, as if trying to search for the next words to say. “Can I ask you something?” You nod in agreement. Jake averts his eyes for a moment. He seems uncharacteristically nervous. His gaze flits about restlessly. “You want to go to dinner tonight?”

“Sure,” you answer, with no hesitation whatsoever. Jake is evidently surprised by your quick answer and he seems to be on the verge of saying something else, so you decide to clarify. “Like a date?”

“Say yes, Jake,” Charles says, popping out of literally nowhere. You flinch in surprise and then stare at him in disbelief. Had he been listening to your entire conversation? And where did he even come from?

“Sorry, he found out about last night-” Jake tries to explain to you, only for Charles to cut him off.  

“I have great news for you lovebirds!” Charles grins. Dread coils in your chest—that mischievous smile never means anything good coming from Boyle. Jake seems to think the same thing, if the apprehensive look on his face is any indication. “You now have a reservation for my favorite Japanese restaurant-!”

“The one that serves octopus balls?” Jake interjects, shuddering at the thought. You feel the same. You’re not a very adventurous eater to begin with—which was part of the reason you suggested fast food last night. “Thanks, buddy, but no thanks.”

“Please?” Charles begs. “The restaurant is really hard to get reservations for! Their waitlist is several months long! That’s why I’ve had to order to-go the past few times…”

“If the waitlist is so long, then how did you get reservations in the first place?” You decide to ask. Something feels wrong about this, but you can’t quite tell what it is. You decide to wait for Charles to explain further.

“I made them a while ago,” he says excitedly. “I’ve been wanting to eat there for months!” Charles seems unaware of what he’s revealing by saying that. Jake and you exchange a look, before Jake decides to say something.

“…Charles?” Jake asks. Charles turns to look at his friend. “The reservation is for three, isn’t it?” That seems to be the likely conclusion, the more you think about it. If Charles wanted to go so badly, he wouldn’t just make a reservation for two people—he’d include himself in the reservation, too. You look at Boyle and await his answer.

“Of course, Jake,” Charles responds, squinting at him. Jake and you sigh. Charles just grins infuriatingly.  “I’ll pick you two up at seven!” He then disappears. You blink at the space he had occupied. That man needs to wear a bell or something, so that he doesn’t give you a mini heart attack every time he mysteriously appears.

You take a deep breath and turn to Jake. “He’s going to be third-wheeling the entire time, isn’t he?”

“Yep.” Jake says, shaking his head in disbelief. You can relate to the sentiment. Charles is quite crazy, sometimes.

“Well, that’s okay—our first date wasn’t exactly conventional, either,” you then acquiesce with a shrug. Jake freezes and stares at you with wide eyes. You immediately feel self-conscious. Did you say something wrong? “What?”

“First date?” Jake repeats, a strange expression on his face. It looks to be a mix of guardedness and hopefulness.

“Yesterday,” you blurt out, before you can realize your mistake. You had characterized it as a date, but you never confirmed that with Jake. You glance at him for reassurance. “...Right?”

“Yeah,” Jake remarks quickly. “Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.” The two of you are staring at each other and he takes a step forward to close the distance between you. Jake’s hands come up to bracket your face and he leans forward-

“I’m loving this tension.” You flinch and Jake freezes, before you turn to look at the new presence. Charles is standing next to the two of you once more, a starry look in his eyes. Jake sighs in exasperation and you look at Charles expectantly.

“Just pretend I’m not here,” Charles smiles, backing away a foot before continuing to stare at you. Jake’s hands are still cradling your cheeks, but evidently, neither of you are comfortable with kissing in front of Charles.

“Buddy-” Jake breaks off.

“Fine,” Charles sighs dramatically, wisely taking several steps back as he registers the annoyed look on Jake’s face. “See you at seven!” He exclaims, before running back to his desk and smoothly avoiding punishment.

“Now, where were we?” Jake says hesitantly. You roll your eyes and lean forward to kiss him, valiantly ignoring Boyle’s excited shrieks in the background.

[paperstorm]

Who would get out of an escape room first- TK Strand or Jake Peralta?

Oh that's such a good question 😂 I think probably Jake, they establish in the very first episode that one of his special skills is solving puzzles. But Jake and TK would be best friends I just know it. The same chaos energy, are actually incredibly smart and capable, super good at their jobs despite their charmingly childish personalities, Jewish moms!!!!, both madly in love with a Latinx partner/soulmate who is much more organized and studious and loves how adventurous they are, constantly striving to please their father figure (for TK his actual father lol and for Jake his surrogate father). They are so similar.

[wyniepooh]

Like a fucking dream i’m living in

jake peralta turns into a thief for you.

Perv!peralta x reader. When Jake and reader temporarily live together, reader’s things suddenly begin to go missing.

you first noticed the lingering glances.

you tried your best to avoid peralta in the late night, walking on tip-toes and staying confined in your room for most of the day. You had already done him a huge favour by inviting him to live in your apartment while he searched for his own, so you figured it was best to keep things at least somewhat professional.

Still, the apartment wasn’t that big (it was New York, after all), and despite your best efforts, you encountered him more than you would’ve liked.

You’d often catch him in the kitchen late at night, pouring himself a glass of water while you awkwardly approached to grab a quick snack. The interaction is silent, and yet you always uncomfortably alert. You didn’t need to look over at him to feel his gaze falling down your body, his gaze focusing primarily on the mound of your chest peeking through the thin pyjamas.

you took note of his loose grey sweats and the casual white tee he wore so well, but you were careful to not show your interest— even if he was obvious with his. The interaction would end almost as quickly as it started when he’d awkwardly raise a hand in greeting before retreating back to his guest room.

then, it was the persistant touching.

You’d be struggling to grab a cookbook perched on the top shelf of the cabinet, and before you could even ask for help, Jake is behind you, lowering the book with a soft hand on the small of your waist. “Thanks,” you’d mutter, eyes fluttering all over his face, and he’d say nothing except flash you a crooked grin.

Once, you were heading out for drinks and right before you could reach the door, he called your name with a tone of rushed urgency.

“wait, uh, you got a little…” he pointed to the corner of his own lips.

You quickly reached up to wipe away whatever was on your face, but after multiple attempts, he insisted it was still there, and so he walked over and slyly swiped it away with his hand. The pad of his thumb stayed on your lips longer than necessary, his eyes on yours longer than needed, and when he finally pulled away, you swear his fingers were squeaky clean.

your last straw was when your things began to disappear.

They were small things at first— the pen you used for all your police paperwork, the bowl you used every evening for dinner. Then, the casual robbery escalated to your bedroom.

The lace bra you wore on special occasions, the skimpy pair of panties you had hidden away deep in your drawer. There could only be one culprit, you knew that, and yet, you didn’t feel a need to confront him.

Instead, you began to wear the bra you normally wouldn’t wear on a random Tuesday, making sure the delicate lace trim was visible through your low-cut tank top. You reciprocated the endless touching; a light touch on his bicep as you laughed at his joke, or a press of your ass against him as you reached for a spatula.

You were more on edge than you had ever been, but there was always a delicious thrill that ran down your spine the second you both came home to resume the unspoken game.

You had almost forgotten about everything tonight, coming back late from a meeting that had drained the energy out of you. But on your way to your room, you couldn’t help but take an extra step towards the guest room. A sliver of dim light was visible through his half-closed door, and while you couldn’t see him, you heard him.

You hadn’t gotten any for longer than you’d like to admit, but you were still able to recognize the sounds of sex, all sloppy and dirty and wild. Except there was only one voice, one tone in the string of moans that escaped through the cracks and into your perked ears.

“Uh- fu- fuck, yeah, just like that.”

You remained frozen in shock for just a moment, staring at the door, then, through a sudden burst of adrenaline, you shifted your head until Jake finally came into view.

He was sat on the edge of the guest bed you had meticulously made that very morning, except now the sheets were wrinkled and undoubtedly covered in his sweat. Jake’s head was thrown back in a fit of indulgence, his eyes squinted closed as if the pleasure was painful to even think about. Your quiet breaths hitched as your eyes trailed down his open button-up, soft abs decorating his torso.

Then, you saw it. A pair of pink panties, your panties, scrunched up in his left hand as his right pumped up and down his length. Rather than feeling disgusted or relieved that you had finally caught the thief using your expert detective skills, something much more dangerous was growing in the pit of your stomach.

You found your breaths linking up with his as they got more frantic, more hungry for a release that could never be matched to that of his imagination. You couldn’t tear your eyes away as he vocalized his thoughts, muttering your name as he pleaded, “please, just give it to me,” and “show me how much you want me, baby.”

You almost gasped when he loudly groaned one last time, his whole body shaking stiffly as he came, short spurts of white falling where your panties were now wrapped around his cock. You were carefully observing the way the aftershocks came over his body— heaving breathing, faltering hands, when suddenly, he turns his head.

He looks directly at you, and for a moment, panic flashes over his eyes as if he’s waiting for you to yell, to scream, to burst into the room and ask him what the hell he’s doing. But you don’t do that, and soon, any signs of anxiety dissipates from his eyes. There was only desire in his gaze, a heat that was dark and brewing and matched the one between your legs, begging to spill over.

As a corner of his lip lifted up casually, yours did too, and you knew, if you didn’t make the first move now, he was about to.

-

A/n: officially on winter break from school so I’m locking in on this acc (I’m lying.)

[emitowrites]

Make your gays

My brain did a thing today where I was talking to a friend about how shit the 'bury your gays' trope is, but then I said 'oh, I'm not just pissed about that, but also at the lack of bravery to even make some obviously queer coded characters be gay!' and my brain went: 'Make your gays' and I really enjoyed that so...

My biggest e.g. is Eddie Munson in this instance. He is at the very least Bisexual... No straight man leans into another man's space and calls him big boy (!!!!!) unless he's a little bit queer, no? Like, ok, I know this was a Joe Quinn improv thing and not a Duffer bros writing thing, but come on, there are quite a few other things about him that are just v.v.v.v.v gay, at least to me.

But also: Nancy Wheeler, Jughead, Jake Peralta, Emma Swan - all have so much queer energy!

Also also, what's really funny to me, having only found out this past year that I was audhd, is that most of these characters also feel very neurodiverse to me!