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zepskies · 2 years ago

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Never Say Goodbye - Part 8

Pairing: Dean x Female Reader

Summary: The first time you and Dean sensed each other’s thoughts and feelings, you were just kids. It would take years to realize that you both were bonded for life, and even longer to finally meet. [Soulmate AU] (Rated M for eventual scenes – 18+)

Word Count: 5,000 Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort and feels, alcoholism lol

Part 8: Long Distance

Sam stayed back at Bobby’s while Dean accompanied you back home, now that it was no longer a crime scene. When your dad finally got off of work, he greeted you in the living room with relief in his eyes and a warm hug.

That warmth diminished when he noticed Dean standing behind you.

“Dean’s a friend of Bobby’s,” you explained. Dean introduced himself and shook Jack’s hand.

“Yeah, wanted to make sure she got here okay,” Dean added.

Jack scrutinized him as they shook hands. Maybe he suspected that you and Dean weren’t telling the whole truth, but Jack seemed to accept things.

For now.

“I think we’ve got frozen pizzas for dinner if we don’t want to order out,” you said. You went over to the kitchen to check, but without you realizing, that brought you right to the spot where you were assaulted just two days ago.

The blood had been scrubbed off the tile floor. There were still small, suspect stains in the grout, though. You looked up and saw your reflection in the microwave. It wasn’t unlike that night, when you had looked up and seen your bloody face, then looked down and seen Danny Schmitt lying dead on the floor.

You flinched when a hand came to rest on your shoulder. It was Dean, and you gave him a small grateful look. You briefly covered his hand with yours, but you took a breath and forced yourself to move past the spot, and continue toward the fridge.

Jack watched the small moment between you and Dean. Dean knew that Jack had caught it, while you remained oblivious as you puttered around in the kitchen.

The three of you made somewhat painful small talk while waiting for the pizzas to cook. When it was done, Dean helped set the table and you cut out the slices. Jack took an opportunity to grab a beer and approach you.

“So why’s Skater Boy still in my house?” Jack asked. You could only assume he meant Dean.

“Dad, please don’t be rude,” you warned.

“You seein’ him or something?”

You set down the pizza cutter and gave Jack a pointed look. “As a matter of fact, yes.”

Dean could hear you and Jack talking from the dining room. He took issue with your dad’s phrasing. It was a little more than “seeing,” but at least now he understood what you’d been talking about with your dad. The guy was a hard-ass.

So Dean would go along with however you wanted to play this. It was only fair.

The problem was, this mostly left you to keep the conversation going once the three of you sat down to eat. For forty-five minutes you did your best to fill the silences, but Jack was a man of sparing words.

“So yeah, I should be able to finish my thesis in time. I’m looking to have a job lined up after I graduate next semester, but the only thing I’ve really been seeing is teaching positions,” you explained.

“Teaching’s acceptable,” your dad said, after finishing his second beer. “And doable, for you.”

You glanced at your dad with a telling press of your lips.

Dean understood your annoyance. Doable for you?

What was that supposed to mean?

“Well, I’m not sure I want to teach,” you said. “I’m thinking of applying to the natural history museum here in Sioux Falls.”

“And do what, dust off wax mannequins?” Jack remarked.

You set down your glass of water a bit too hard. “If you’re going to say something, say it.”

Jack gave you a look of exasperation. “I’m just sayin’. You went to college without a real plan, now it’s bitin’ you in the ass. And it ain’t been cheap—”

“For you it has, because I put myself through college,” you countered.

“What I’m saying is, now you’ve limited yourself—”

Jack actually reminded Dean of his dad in a lot of ways. But he had a feeling this man didn’t know his daughter very well. Dean wasn’t normally one to meddle in things that weren’t his business, but you were stressed out enough. He didn’t like the way your shoulders were tightening. He could feel your upset through the soul bond, and your eyes were dangerously close to frustrated tears.

He touched your knee beneath the table and looked over at Jack.

“Look, maybe we could just take things down a couple notches here,” Dean suggested.

Jack turned to him with an angry frown. “Now would be a very good time for you to butt out. Dean, was it? Matter of fact, why don’t you get the hell out of my house—”

“Okay, that’s enough!” you shouted. You clenched one fist on the dining table, the other on your knee beneath the table.

Both men looked at you with mixed reactions of surprise.

You turned to your dad. “The difference between you and me is I pursued what I was interested in. You went after what you were good at.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Jack asked, after his shock wore off.

“Nothing,” you said. “But neither is what I did. I’m proud of where I am so far, what I’ve accomplished. I’m sorry if you don’t think that’s worth much, but I do. You don’t have to agree with my choices, but you can at least respect me.”

Silence fell across the table.

Secretly, Dean was proud of you, and he tapered down a smile. He knew you sensed it when you glanced at him.

“I respect you,” Jack said, pulling your attention away. “But I’m still your father.”

You shook your head. “You don’t, Dad. If you did, it wouldn’t be so hard to tell you that I’m not dating Dean. He’s my soulmate.”

Once again, shock made the air tense. Jack’s eyes were open wide, looking from you, to Dean, and back again. His brows furrowed.

So Dean, ever the tension breaker, offered you and Jack a resigned grin. He pointed to his and Jack’s beer bottles, which were empty.

“Well,” he said, “I’ll get the whiskey.”

When your father’s shock finally wore off, he had plenty of questions for Dean. About where he lived, his job, his life in general—most of which Dean couldn’t answer honestly. Jack was a police detective by trade. As such, he was a perceptive man who knew he wasn’t getting the whole story, but eventually you cut off the inquisition.

You showed Dean up to your room, where you two were able to get some privacy.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, once you both sat on the edge of your bed. “I could tell that, uh…that conversation with your dad was a long time coming.”

You nodded, but you couldn’t quite smile. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow,” he replied.

Tomorrow. You sighed, but you also tried not to let him sense your darkening emotions. Instead, you sat up straight and gave him a decisive look.

“Okay, then I’m staying with you at Bobby’s tonight,” you said. One more night together.

Dean’s lips raised into a grin. “Yes, ma’am.”

You spent that night mostly playing cards with Sam, Dean, and Bobby as they taught you how to hustle poker. You drank and ate and laughed, and at night, you and Dean continued to learn each other’s bodies.

In the morning, you hugged both Sam and Dean goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” Dean apologized again while he held you. “I’ll call you later.”

Holding back your tears, you nodded and kissed him one more time. He tucked a finger beneath your chin to keep your head up. You tried at a smile, which he appreciated.

Then Sam and Dean climbed into the Impala. You watched them leave, and Bobby laid a supportive hand on your shoulder.

The next year was torturous for you both.

Dean updated you after various hunts. Not on a regular schedule, but often enough. Sam started calling now and then with historical questions—some you could answer off the top of your head, and some you actually put in some effort into researching. Dean didn’t like it at first, but soon he started calling you for information himself.

You were smart, quick on your feet, and realistically, a convenient resource since you had access to a university library. You enjoyed it though. You were happy to be helpful to them, but you also liked the research. Often they were interesting topics in the mythologies of different cultures (if you took out the whole hashing and slashing of innocent people and monsters out of it).

But that part too was gratifying; you felt like you were helping them save lives, in whatever small way you could offer.

You also visited Bobby more often. It was your last semester of college and he helped you with your thesis, actually giving you good notes. Dean, bless him, was encouraging, but really only helped you with the movie references. Bobby actually gave you feedback on your writing and added tidbits to the historical aspects as well.

You learned that Bobby was actually really smart. Maybe that was where you got your affinity for history and language arts.

One day though, your uncle noticed that you weren’t as into it as usual. You had a half-drunk beer in your hand while the two of you working in the living room—on the final draft of your thesis.

Bobby had asked you a question about a certain line, but you hadn’t heard him.

“Hey, you awake over there?” he asked. Jolting in your seat, you looked over at him apologetically.

“Sorry, what?”

Bobby smiled wryly. “Let me guess. Dean ain’t called you?”

You shook your head. “I talked to him yesterday. They’re investigating a cursed painting in New York somewhere.”

“So what’s with the face?”

You shrugged. “Nothing.”

After you didn’t give Bobby anything to go on, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Okay…”

You two spent an extended moment in relative silence, where only faint music from the radio played in the background. Plus, the occasional turning of pages from Bobby’s book.

“It’s just,” you started to say. Bobby closed his book with an expectant look on his face.

“I’ve waited twenty-four years to find him,” you said. “Twenty-fucking-four. And now I still have to wait. How long will it be until I can start my life?”

“Well first of all, you’ve been living your life long before Dean,” Bobby pointed out. “You have your own thing going, and right now, so does Dean. When he finishes dealing with his past, he’ll be able to start thinkin’ about his future.”

That was fair, you considered. It made you feel a bit immature when he put it like that. Nor was it realistic of you to expect Dean to drop everything else in his life for you…

You and your uncle had gotten closer over the past few months. So you felt you could ask him something that had been on your mind for a long time.

“Feel free to ignore me, but, about Aunt Karen…was she your soulmate?” you asked.

Bobby looked over at you after sipping at a fifth of whiskey. He seemed reluctant to even say her name.

“She was,” he admitted.

You knew this would be a sensitive subject, but you took a chance. “What happened to her, Bobby?”

At first, he was quiet. You just waited to see what he would say, if he was willing to trust you. After a short while, slowly, he told you.

She’d been possessed by a demon.

Not one exactly like Sam and Dean were hunting, but close enough. However, Bobby didn’t know then what he knew now.

She’d been coming at him with a knife, and before he realized what he was doing, he was defending himself with the same knife. But she just kept coming. It took your father, Jack, to pull her off of him. And Rufus, who had been tracking the thing, broke into Bobby’s house and exorcised the demon.

Then, a black spirit drained out of Karen’s body. She had enough awareness to look down at her three stab wounds before she fell to the floor. Finally, she bled out.

She was gone before either Jack or Bobby could get her to a hospital.

Jack had reluctantly helped cover up the scene by saying she’d suffered a psychotic break and attacked her husband. Bobby’s case was self-defense.

You could relate to that, at least.

By the end of his story, you were trying in vain to stifle your tears. When you were able to speak, you asked another question.

“Then…why does Dad hate you so much if it wasn’t you fault?”

“Because I killed her. My own wife, my…” Bobby sighed, a heavy, sharp exhale. “His baby sister. I can’t blame him.”

Because he still blamed himself. In the end, it was blood all over him and the body of his soulmate in his arms.

You didn’t know how to comfort him, but you tried. Still silently crying, you rested your hands on his arm while he couldn’t quite bring the whiskey back to his lips.

When you graduated in May, you didn’t expect Sam and Dean to come. You’d told them about it, but when the ceremony came and you stood on that stage, you didn’t see the brothers in the crowd. You saw your dad, Bobby, some of your colleagues from the university, and a couple of your best friends from high school.

You forced your disappointment down and accepted your diploma with a smile. You were now finished with school, complete with your master’s degree in Greek and Roman Studies. And in two weeks, you had a job lined up at the local museum. You would be giving exhibit tours, and you already had a script you had to memorize by your first day.

Maybe it was basic, but there was a path for growth there for you. In a few years you could work yourself up to museum curator!

The point was, you felt it was a step in the right direction.

Later at home that night, your dad congratulated you while you cut up the cake he bought for you in the kitchen. He set a hand on your shoulder, subtly asking you to pause what you were doing. You turned to him with a smile.

“I’m proud of you, darlin’,” he said. “You’ve got drive, and you did what you set out to do…so much of you reminds me of your mom that way.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. Thinking about your conversation with Bobby a few weeks ago, you looked at your dad a bit differently. You had compassion for him. Like Bobby, Jack had lost his person. He was just a man who couldn’t let go.

“I get why you have a hard time remembering Mom,” you said. “Now that I have Dean, I can’t imagine how I would feel if I lost him.”

But it was still a monumental fear. Every day that you didn’t hear from Dean between hunts could be nerve-wracking when you thought about what he was doing. Especially when you didn’t know how much he left out for your sake.

So when Jack nodded, you looked up and saw rare emotion in his eyes.

“How’s Dean?” he asked.

“He’s on a job in South Carolina,” you lied, and felt a twinge of guilt doing it. “Severe rat infestation.”

“Okay. And he couldn’t take a couple days off the rats to be here today?”

Your lips pursed at the question—mainly because it was the same one you had. You just didn’t want your dad to know that.

“He’s working hard,” was all that you could think to reply. You knew it totally didn’t convince your dad, but you handed him a slice of cake to shut him up about it.

Later in your room, you laid out your cap and gown on your bed. You debated keeping them in your closet, or just donating them. It wasn’t like you were ever going to wear this again.

Hey, beautiful.

You gasped when Dean’s thoughts startled you. You whipped around and there he was in your doorway, dressed in his usual jeans, shirt, and leather jacket combo. He smiled and held a bouquet of flowers for you.

“Congratulations, Professor,” he said.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you went to him. You actually almost bowled him over by jumping into his arms.

“Whoa!” he said with a laugh. He gripped your thighs tight around his hips but lost a few steps, crashing against the wall and disturbing some of your frames. You both laughed and kissed deeply.

After a while, you slid back down to your feet and he stroked your cheek in affection. He offered you the flowers again, and you accepted them with a pink blush. They weren’t just basic roses. Most of them you couldn’t name, but there were daisies and large orange flowers, thin springs of small white and green ones, white and red flowers that greeted you with soft blooming petals.

“Thank you, these are beautiful,” you said.

His smile fell. “Sorry I’m late.”

Your excitement dimmed, but you shook your head. “It’s okay.”

Dean noticed your cap and gown on the bed and gestured to them.

“Mind modeling that little number for me?” he teased.

Your mouth twitched. “What, really?”

“Yeah, why not? I wanna see the full package of the college grad.”

With another little blush, you obliged him. After setting down the flowers on your dresser, you slipped on your large, silky graduation gown first, then the cap. You adjusted the tassel so it wasn’t directly in your face. Then you grinned and struck a pose for him in the shapeless gown.

“Real sexy, huh?”

Dean smirked. “Absolutely. College girls are always sexy.”

You laughed and dropped the pose. Both of you sat down on the bed while you took off the cap. Dean fixed your frizzy hair as a result.

“Well, officially I’m not a college girl anymore,” you pointed out. “I’m starting at the museum soon, I think I told you.”

Dean nodded. “That’s okay. Hot nerds are even better.”

You giggled and took his larger hand in yours. “Where’s Sam?”

“Chillin’ at Bobby’s.”

“Ah…you saw my dad?”

“Downstairs. Wasn’t exactly happy to see me,” Dean said. “I, uh…I am sorry I couldn’t make it to the big ceremony.”

You shook your head with a smile. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

Soon, you fell into the pull of him as he guided you into a kiss. You held his face in your hands, and he tugged you into his lap.

“Up for a sleepover?” you asked between heated kisses. Though it was difficult to think at the moment, Dean hesitated.

“What about your dad?” He groaned when your nails dragged down the back of his neck. You gave a nipping kiss between his neck and shoulder.

“You can be quiet, can’t you?” you said against his skin. Normally you wouldn’t dream of doing this when your dad was in the house, but it had been months since you’d seen Dean. Months.

One of your hands moved down between your bodies to palm at the growing bulge in his jeans.

“Well,” he said with a grunt, “I’m always up for a challenge.”

He left you on the bed, just long enough to get up and lock the bedroom door, before he all but tacked you back onto the bed and made you squeal.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Jack heard your bedroom door click. He sighed, trying his damnedest not to think about what might be going on upstairs.

He could storm up there and break down the door (like he was itching to do). You might be an adult, but this was still his house…

But he also didn’t want to disturb the newfound peace he’d found with you today.

Time for a drink, he decided. He grabbed his keys and headed out to the nearest bar.

Jack loved his town. He’d lived here most of his life, met his wife here, started a family and a career and all the rest here. But there was only one good bar, and that meant he was liable to run into his brother-in-law, AKA the town drunk.

Jack spotted Bobby down at the end of the bar with a young man, dark-haired and likely in his early 20s. Jack knew that your Dean was staying at Bobby’s house. Jack also knew that your Dean had a brother, Sam. This dark-haired beanpole was most likely him.

Jack didn’t know much about Dean, or his family, but he wanted to. He wanted to know more about the man in his daughter’s life.

So instead of heeding his instinct to sit at the bar alone, he made his way all the way down and greeted Sam and Bobby civilly.

“Your Dean’s brother?” Jack asked. Sam’s handshake was firm as he nodded. Jack detected the strength behind that loose-fitting flannel.

Hmm, not so much a beanpole, Jack thought.

“Yes, sir. I’m Sam,” he replied.

Jack nodded at their whiskey glasses. “Let me buy another round.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Bobby said.

“It’s all right,” Jack said. “I’ve got it.”

Bobby wasn’t sure what Jack was aiming at. They hadn’t spoken directly in a few years. But he could assume it had something to do with Dean dating the man’s daughter.

Jack turned to Sam and asked mild, probing questions. He learned that Sam had gone to college: pre-law at Stanford. He had been all set to go to law school and become a successful lawyer. Sam sounded like the kind of guy Jack would’ve preferred you end up with.

“But instead, you became a traveling exterminator,” Jack said. “What happened there?”

Dean had evaded this question before, but Sam told him something different.

“Well, uh, to be honest…something happened that kind of derailed things,” Sam said.

“Which was?” Jack asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Sam met his gaze steadily, but Jack saw something deep there, held behind polite bar conversation.

“My girlfriend died,” he confessed.

Jack set down his bourbon on the counter. A tendril of guilt licked down his spine for pressing. “I’m sorry.”

Sam nodded. “After that, I spun out for a while…but Dean, he didn’t let me crash. He got me back working with him on the job. Something…constructive. It kept me going.”

Jack considered that with his glass back up to his lips.

“After my wife died, I had my work and my daughter,” he said. “That’s it. That’s my life. It’s honest.”

Sam inclined his head. The conversation continued from there, on and off while they drank. Bobby interjected every now and then, but he kept nursing his second whiskey.

Eventually though, Sam bowed out with one last shake of Jack’s hand and a pat to Bobby’s back. It left the two older men to finish their drinks.

“They’re hunters, aren’t they? Like your friend Rufus,” Jack said.

Bobby glanced at him. Then he sighed.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “But they know what they’re doing.”

Jack shook his head. Goddamn hunters.

But the more he considered his brother-in-law, your conversation with him earlier resonated in his mind.

“I get why you have a hard time remembering Mom,” you had said. “Now that I have Dean, I can’t imagine how I would feel if I lost him.”

Jack looked over at Bobby. As much as he hated to admit it, they were living the same life, more or less. He’d just had you to keep him somewhat anchored. Approaching sane and respectable. Bobby had been alone.

“It doesn’t get easier, does it?” Jack asked.

“What doesn’t?”

“Life,” he replied. “Without her.”

Bobby paused. Once he realized what Jack was really saying, he sighed once again.

“Nope,” he agreed.

“I don’t know Dean Winchester,” Jack said. “You do. Should I be worried?”

“He’s a good kid. Got some rough angles,” Bobby conceded. “But you’ll never find a more loyal man in Creation. He’d break his own neck before he’d hurt that girl.”

Jack nodded. “Good. Saves me the trouble of breakin’ it for him.”

Bobby chuckled and finished his whiskey. Jack ordered him another.

Bobby looked over at him again. “Thanks.”

Jack nodded. They drank in companionable silence until the bar closed.

The next morning, you and Dean stood outside your house on the driveway. The Impala shone next to you in the bright day’s sun. Soon, you’d have to watch the car peel away. In a way, it was harder the second time.

Dean held your cheek and kissed you nice and slow. You knew he could sense what you were feeling right now, but you tried to hold it back from your connection as much as you could.

You let your hand drift down from his shoulder to his chest, over his heart.

I love you, you wanted to say. It was poised on your tongue, but you were afraid of being the first one to say it. Maybe it was silly, but you wondered if you had gotten attached to him more quickly than he had to you.

Meanwhile, Dean sensed your anxiety and worry, but he didn’t hear your thoughts and insecurities that you were holding back. So he just chocked it up to the fact that he was leaving. Guilt nagged at his heart.

“I’ll call you,” he promised. He always promised to call, and he always did. This time, it just didn’t make you feel that much better.

But you still faked a smile and bent to grab the bagged up containers you’d put together for Sam and Dean. It was some homemade chicken parmesan and garlic rolls, which would probably last for all of a couple of hours, knowing Dean.

“Share with your brother this time,” you reminded him. Dean smirked and took the bag from you.

“No promises.”

The next few months were spent with you and Dean each focusing on your jobs. You talked on a frequent non-schedule basis: phone calls on your lunch break, on your commute before or after work, between Dean’s hunts, on long drives across state lines.

When you didn’t have time to talk, you sent emails. Yours were often longer and more detailed than Dean’s, but that was just how he spoke. Direct and to the point, albeit with one or two dirty jokes thrown in.

Sometimes all you two had time for was a brief text here and there. Dean would wish you a good morning. He’d tease you, asking what you were wearing.

“Yoga pants and a ratty old shirt,” you’d replied once.

He’d said: “Hmm, yoga pants.”

You laughed. “You’re ridiculous. I’m literally eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s right now.”

“Ooh, what flavor?”

You’d rolled your eyes. The only thing that distracted his dirty mind was his stomach.

Sometimes you would send him a new song to listen to (which he would complain about, if it was anything past 1989).

But then that day came.

That dreaded day when Dean didn’t answer your call. It wasn’t just that he didn’t answer right then. You had finished your last tour of the museum for a class of second graders and were walking out to your car. It wasn’t unusual for Dean to hit you back later if he was mid-hunt.

So you waited until the evening without a response. A warning bell trilled in your mind, but you tried not to get worried just yet. You decided to text him.

Hey, just checking in.

You went to bed that night still waiting for his reply.

Then the morning came, and you went a little crazy. You called him twice, then Sam.

When Sam didn’t pick up, that little bell in your mind was a screaming fire alarm. It was a Friday though. You still had to go to work.

So you got ready for your day as usual, though even your manager Jerry noticed that you were distracted. You had been working at the museum for around six months now, and you had proven yourself to be a dedicated worker and enthusiastic about your work. So Jerry knew when you were having an off day.

“You all right?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” you said. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay, well, you’ve got another tour in five minutes,” he reminded you, before he tsked and rushed over to a group of teenagers who were messing with the neanderthal exhibit.

You sighed. The moment you thought about checking your phone again, it rang in your pocket.

Quickly you checked who it was, your eyes widening. You answered, “Sam? Is everything okay? I’ve been calling—”

“Listen,” Sam said. “I…I need to tell you something.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach when you heard his tone. Whatever had happened, it wasn’t good.

“What happened?” you asked.

“We found our dad,” he said. “And the demon.”

You gasped and moved to a corner of the museum for some privacy. “You did? That’s…that’s great! But what—”

“We got into an accident,” said Sam. “My dad and I are okay, but Dean, he’s…”

Your breath stilled in your lungs, even as your heart started to pound.

“Where are you?” You started toward the back offices to grab your purse and fished for your car keys. While Sam told you the hospital and the city, your heels clacked on the shiny tile as you booked it to your car.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jerry asked.

You put Sam on hold for a moment and said, without hesitation (and tears in your eyes):

“I’m sorry, I have a family emergency. My boyfriend just got hit by a truck.”

AN: Aaand another cliffhanger. But I'm sure you know where this is going next...

2.01 "In My Time of Dying," in which the reader finally meets John Winchester, but she could end up losing Dean for good this time.

(Also, there are just a few more chapters after this. I promise I won't go through the entire show lol.)

To keep reading: PART 9

Series Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

@curlycarley @buckywenal24 @jamerlynn @iprobablyshipit91 @globetrotter28 @deamus-liv @irgendwas122 @deans-spinster-witch @dogbarkbark4445 @my-proof-is-you @vera0124 @deans-baby-momma @lacilou @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @happygoodvibe @theonlymaninthesky @spnexploration @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @imagineteller1ller1 @icequeen1371 @mininjageek @tiredqueen73 @bitchwitch1981 @abbigaleelizabeth @ohgodthebogisback @where-the-river-bends @loveprof6 @thespnlover

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chimeramouseprincess · 3 months ago

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To cheer myself up after the last few sad days i decided to update with more of my comfort characters. 🥰

Just a fun post I wanted to do after seeing someone else do it. These are just if my Comfort Characters were certain things. Let me know how you think I did if you happen to know them. 🥰

#comfort character #jack gibson #grey damon #tommy kinard #lou ferrigno jr #monroe grimm #silas weir mitchell #donovan rocker #levi schmitt #jake borelli #tori spring #jenny walser #isaac henderson #tobie donovan

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ages-and-pages · 2 months ago

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Apollo 17 on the surface of the Moon at Taurus–Littrow, December 13, 1972. Mission commander Eugene Cernan is seen here next to the Lunar Roving vehicle.

Photo taken by lunar module pilot Harrison 'Jack' Schmitt.

#Apollo 17 #LRV #Eugene Cernan #NASA

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lonestarflight · 2 years ago

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"Apollo 17 Commander Eugene A. Cernan and Lunar Module Pilot Harrison H. Jack Schmitt are preparing the Lunar Roving Vehicle (LRV) and the Communications Relay Unit (LCRU) mission simulation. Support Team Astronaut Gordon Fullerton, standing, left, discusses test procedures to be performed in the High Bay of the Manned Spacecraft Operations Building (MSOB). The Lunar Module Ascent and Descent stages also receive preflight checkout in preparation for the sixth U.S. manned lunar landing mission."

Date: August 8, 1972

NASA ID: 72PC-0412

#Apollo 17 #LM-12 #Lunar Module #Challenger #NASA #Apollo Program #J-type mission #August #1972 #Lunar Roving Vehicle #Lunar Rover #LRV #Manned Spacecraft Operations Building #MSOB #Kennedy Space Center #KSC #Florida #my post

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spacefrontier · 7 months ago

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Apollo 17 Commander Eugene A. Cernan and Lunar Module Pilot Harrison H. Jack Schmitt are preparing the Lunar Roving Vehicle (LRV) and the Communications Relay Unit (LCRU) mission simulation. Support Team Astronaut Gordon Fullerton, standing, left, discusses test procedures to be performed in the High Bay of the Manned Spacecraft Operations Building (MSOB). The Lunar Module Ascent and Descent stages also receive preflight checkout in preparation for the sixth U.S. manned lunar landing mission. August 8, 1972.

NASA

#Project Apollo #Apollo 17 #Lunar Roving Vehicle #NASA

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mlmshipbracket · 1 year ago

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Fourth MLM Ship Bracket Propaganda Submissions

Below you will find all of the submitted and approved ships for the Fourth MLM Ship Bracket Tournament along with the form to submit further propaganda at the bottom

This is another opportunity to submit propaganda for your favorite ships. Wether you were unable to submit propaganda for them in the initial form or you spot your favorite ship who has no propaganda submitted. Ships with a strikethrough have propaganda submitted, I will continue to update this post as propaganda is submitted. I will accept further propaganda for ships with already submitted propaganda but please prioritize those with out.

The goal is to have propaganda for all ships but I understand that may not be possible. Therefore I will be leaving the form open for a few weeks to see if we receive propaganda for at least half the ships.

Note: Please reach out to me if you spot any mistakes in character or fandom names, even if it is only formatting or spelling issues.

Monkey D. Luffy/Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)

Kyojuro Rengoku/Akaza (Demon Slayer)

Mikhail”Misha” [Heavy]/Dr. Ludwig [Medic] (Team Fortress 2)

Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas (Homestuck)

Chu Shuzhi/Guo Changcheng (Guardian, 2018)

Oliver Marks/James Farrow (If We Were Villains)

David Starsky/Kenneth "Hutch" Hutchinson (Starsky & Hutch)

Tinn/Gun (My School President)

Loki Odinson/Mobius M. Mobius (Loki)

Jaime Reyes/Bart Allen (DC Comics)

Levi Schmitt/Nico Kim (Grey's Anatomy)

Ren Amamiya or Akira Kurusu/Goro Akechi (Persona 5)

Wallace Price/ Hugo Freeman (Under the Whispering Door)

Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny (Looney Toons)

Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan (Guardian, 2018)

Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Næsheim (SKAM)

Henry "Monty" Montague/Percy Newton (Montague Siblings)

Nico di Angelo/Will Solace (Camp Half-Blood Chronicles)

Argos/Mr. Plant (The World of Mr. Plant)

Richard St Vier/Alec Campion (Swordspoint Universe)

Klaus Hargreeves/Dave Katz (The Umbrella Academy)

Woody/Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)

Victor Lawson/Hap (In the Lives of Puppets

Charlie/Babe (Pit Babe The Series)

Fred/Shaggy (Scooby-Doo)

Simon Snow/Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Grimm-Pitch (Carry On)

Gaius Octavius/Jedediah Smith (Night at the Museum)

Sound/Win (My School President)

Pat/Pran (Bad Buddy)

Mike Wazowski/James "Sulley" P. Sullivan (Monsters, Inc.)

Nicholas “Nick” Bell/ Seth Gray (The Extraordinaries)

Evan 'Buck' Buckley/Edmundo 'Eddie' Diaz (9-1-1)

Sean/White (Not Me: The Series)

Vegas Theerapanyakun/Pete Saengtham (Kinnporsche: The Series)

Runaan/Ethari (The Dragon Prince)

Larry Daley/Ahkmenrah (Night at the Museum)

Tintin/Captain Archibald Haddock (Tintin comics)

Bai Lang/Jin Xun An (My Tooth Your Love)

Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin (The Man from U.N.C.L.E)

Wario/Waluigi (Mario franchise)

Peter Parker/Miguel O'Hará (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse)

Steve Rogers/Anthony "Tony" Stark (Marvel Comics)

Dave Miller/Jack "Old sport" Kennedy (Dayshift at Freddy's)

Boston/Nick (Only Friends)

Kinn Theerapanyakun/Porsche Kittisawasd (Kinnporsche: The Series)

Satoru Gojo/Suguru Geto (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Craig Cuttlefish/Octavio Takowasa (Splatoon)

Tulio/Miguel (The Road to El Dorado)

Sun Wukong/Neptune Vasilias (RWBY)

Zachary Ezra Rawlins/Dorian (The Starless Sea)

Fox Mulder/Alex Krycek (The X-Files)

Thomas/Newt (The Maze Runner)

Fulgrim/Ferrus Manus (Warhammer 40k)

Kim Theerapanyakun/Porchay Kittisawasd (Kinnporsche: The Series)

Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane (The Mortal Instruments)

Tan/Bun (Manner of Death)

Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi (RWBY)

Rhy Maresh/Alucard Emery (Shades of Magic)

Yashiro Isana/Kuroh Yatogami (K Project)

Jaskier/Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher)

Dustfinger/Mortimer "Mo" Folchart (Inkworld series)

Brandon/Sky (Winx Club)

Phineas Taylor “P. T.” Barnum/Phillip Carlyle (The Greatest Showman)

Alfred Hillinghead/Henry Ashe (Bodies TV Show)

Baal/Inanna (The Wicked + the Divine)

Timothy "Tim" Drake/Bernard Dowd (DC Comics)

Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun Stampede)

Anthony Lockwood/Quill Kipps (Lockwood and Co)

Henry Winter/Francis Abernathy (The Secret History)

Crowley/Aziraphale (Good Omens)

Dainix/Falst (Aurora Comic)

Prince Rupert/Prince Amir (The Two Princes)

Finn/Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Jean Luc Picard/Q (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Will Stronghold/Warren Peace (Sky High)

Heart/Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Wallace Wells/Todd Ingram (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)

Sunai/Veyadi Lut (The Archive Undying)

Linus Baker/Arthur Parnassus (The House in the Cerulean Sea)

Aaron Slaughter/Jace Boucher (House of Slaughter)

Hercule Poirot/Captain Arthur Hastings (Hercule Poirot)

Phaya/Tharn (The Sign)

Hercules/Iolaus (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys)

Todd/Black (Not Me: The Series)

Julio "Rictor" Esteban Richter/Shatterstar (Marvel Comics)

Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu (Word of Honor)

Siffrin/Isabeau (In Stars and time)

Kendall Knight/Logan Mitchell (Big Time Rush TV Show)

Yuichiro Hiyakuya/Mikaela Hyakuya (Owari no Seraph/Seraph of the End)

Palm/Nuengdiao (Never Let Me Go)

Khatha/Dome (Midnight Museum)

Asterix/Obelix (Asterix Comics)

Bowser/Luigi (Mario Franchise)

Lucien "Luc" O'Donnell/Oliver Blackwood (London Calling)

Kazuki Kurusu/Rei Suwa (Buddy Daddies)

Benjamin “Ben” Tennyson/Kevin Ethan Levin (Ben 10: Alien Force)

Lumière/Cogsworth (Beauty and the Beast)

Damian Wayne/Jon Kent (DC Comics)

Spy/Dell Conagher [Engineer] (Team Fortress 2)

Shanks/Buggy (One Piece)

Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Ecks (Six of Crows)

Harold Finch/John Reese (Person of Interest)

Ulrich Stern/Odd Della Robbia (Code Lyoko)

Vincent Freeman/Jerome Morrow (Gattaca)

Eustass Kid/Killer (One Piece)

Christopher Hitchcock/Jalil Sherman (Everworld)

Frodo Baggins/Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)

Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves)

#tumblr poll #tumblr bracket #mlm ship #mlm ship poll #mlm ship bracket #mlm ship bracket tournament #mlm ship bracket 2024 #mlm ship bracket tournament 2024 #fourth mlm ship tournament #propaganda #ship propaganda

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sixstepsaway · 1 year ago

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i've had some thoughts bouncing around for a while about ofmd s2, and in light of the news, i'm going to brain dump some of them. if you don't feel like listening to me complain about HBO and would rather just go cry about OFMD not getting season 3, that's chill, go ahead, no hard feelings

so.

season 1 was absolutely the definition of lightning in a bottle. it had great acting, great writing, gorgeous set and costume design, it was great, and not only that but it was unabashedly queer

jim had a whole episode dedicated to "actually i'm not a woman i'm just jim" and then everyone - even the bad guys, even the antagonists, even their nun nana, everyone - referred to them as they/them after that, no questions asked

the main character went through an arc that was basically figuring out his sexuality and going "oh shit, i love a man" on a show that was not directly advertised as "OUR QUEER MEANS DEATH" like a, y'know, Queer Show would be

and stede and ed's romance felt like it was important. It felt like the pirates of it all was mostly incidental, background, filler, just fun to pad out the situation and give them things to be challenged by (the badmintons!) while also being fun on its own. it's the kind of show where if you pulled all the characters out and slapped them into a whole other situation like space agents or time travellers or everyone lives together in a loft runs a bakery... it'd still work. sure, the badmintons would be less murderous and run a competing bakery or something, but it'd still work, because the focus was on the characters, and on the romance between stede and ed

the first three episodes of season 3 felt that way too. the love between stede and ed was paramount and if you swapped to a mafia au or a bakery au it'd still work (with some gentle adjustments for ed's Behavior™ to be fair)

but.

season 1, they kept saying it was a rom com, and it felt like one. it was just a rom com that was set at sea! how fun!

now, rom coms have tropes. they have genre-specific things that you kind of expect from, well, a rom com. you expect mess. you expect things like ed fucking off with jack because he doesn't feel good enough

(i've recently been rewatching new girl and although some of the humor makes me cringe, it's still a great show, and one of the main things about it is that everyone is messy. no matter how much schmitt loves cece, he's going to make mistakes. no matter how obviously nick and jess are going to end up together and belong together, they're going to sleep with the wrong people, make mistakes, break up etc. it's as much a rom com as ofmd.

one of the things that makes new girl so good and makes me love the main couples so much is how hard they work to be together, how they fight adversity and the mess of their own flaws and toxicity and still get together because they love each other most, in the end)

i remember in s1 thinking how if stede had been a woman, jack would have been too, and ed would've had at least one romantic/sexual scene with jack when he ran away with him

but i also remember thinking, "yeah, but the show hadn't explicitly done the his name is ed reveal and the kiss on the beach yet, and the reveal hits so hard, it makes sense not to do that earlier", and tbh i stand by that

which brings me to s2, after the first three eps, where they tried to go back to rom com and it just felt... forced.

rom coms usually have adversity. they have other characters that directly and truly threaten the main pairing by being interesting to those characters! no matter how you feel about izzy, he was framed as a love interest or as an ex that was still complicated, but the show very much tiptoed around that

does "i have love for you" and "i loved you best i could" make sense for the characters? yeah.

do i feel like if ed was a woman, she and izzy would've had a messy rebound relationship for stede to have to contend with, for the two of them to come out the other side of wanting each other from? yeah.

ofmd s1 felt unabashedly queer. s2 felt like they didn't want to be too gay.

they put olu with a Woman™, they put jim with a woman almost like it was less queer and more acceptable this way than queering olu, they completely waved off olu and jim's relationship and dropped any concept of polyamory because that would've made it even queerer, not less queer

(i'm using queer here as a definition more of breaking boundaries and being outside of the norm to the extent it makes cishets deeply uncomfortable and the queer in question aren't conforming to society's standards. and this reading of s2 (and s1) is entirely subjective, it's just what's been bubbling here for me)

pete and lucius went from "we don't own each other" to marriage, with no footnotes of what marriage meant to them specifically, whether they were, in fact, conforming with the 'norm' of marriage (exclusivity, labels, definitions etc) or whether they were still chill about these things or whether this now meant no more penis drawings

the queerest episode was probably the party episode (which was so good), but even that was especially queer because some cast members fought to make it so (con wanting izzy's drag to be beautiful not funny has HAUNTED ME, because that means it was originally supposed to be played for laughs!!) not because it was that way naturally

the fact i read somewhere that the party and the drag was originally lupete's wedding makes so much more sense to me because yeah, they WOULD have a wedding like that, but instead they got a lame final episode wedding because it would have been way too queer to do it at calypso's birthday with drag and queer joy everywhere

it also would have been more realistic to the lucius and pete we got in season 1.

there were a lot of things in season 2 that felt... weird. we've talked about it. we have all talked about it.

the final episode, even outside of the thing i hated most, was just horribly written imo. there's big sweeping gestures and no kind of real emotional pay off for the main relationships (lupete included), and everything got tied with a neat little bow at the end

i remember when we were told s2 was 8 episodes and how much the budget had been chopped thinking, "ha, we're so not getting a season 3"

i remember when i realized how weirdly rewritten most of season 2 had been thinking, "yeah, there's not going to be a season 3"

i remember when bitching about ed's arc being totally truncated and handwaved thinking, "mm, we're not getting a season 3"

and i remember when the Revenge sailed off into the sunset with everyone but ed and stede on board thinking, "oh yeah, we're done."

just enough was left open that a season 3 could happen.

just enough was left open that if a miracle happened, there'd be something to do with season 3.

but i genuinely, 100%, hand on my heart, think djenks knew he wasn't getting a season 3

and don't get me wrong, i'm not absolving him of the poor writing choices he made in season 2, but i am saying it makes a lot more sense if you think of it from the perspective of corporate meddling and having everything taken away while he was actively trying to make season 2

we already know HBO cut the budget a ridiculous amount so they just had to make everything work with what they had. we already know HBO cut the episode number.

season 2 plays out like they prepped a good chunk of it, ready for 10 episodes, and then HBO cut the budget and cut the episodes

and so things had to be changed and chopped about. ed's arc got lots of screen time and focus for three episodes (before the cuts) and then things got quicker, and fast

characters were cut for time and for budget reasons.

and then i think towards the end of production and the end of writing, djenks learned the odds of season 3 were minimal at best, and he panicked

i think the original plan was probably for ed's arc to go for the majority of season 2. maybe a middle piece where he and stede tried but it still wasn't Right (last night was a mistake) because ed had so much to work on and so much to heal

i genuinely wonder if the finale was completely rewritten at the last minute because to me it makes way, way more sense from a narrative standpoint for things to have been more staggered out. let's consider ten episodes instead of 8:

episodes 1-5: same as they were when aired, including the gravy basket giving us set-up for what ed's dealing with internally, giving us something to latch onto and prepare for his redemption. NO KISS AT THE END OF EPISODE 5. episode 6: ed is still wearing the bell. he's sort of done his amends with lucius, but now he needs to do amends with the rest of the ship. stede is still learning his piratey ways, so there's hijinks in the background. jim and archie and olu try to decide what their relationship is after the garlic and all, and debate room arrangements. lucius and pete announce their engagement. stede and ed nearly kiss. episode 7: more ed redemption arc. he's still working at things, he's shying away from violence because violence is what took him down this dark path to begin with. maybe we get some discussion of his father. stede, blind to ed's flaws, insists he's nothing like his father! ed tries to make amends with izzy but somehow this is the hardest of all because he hurt him the most of all. izzy gets chance to apologize for what he now sees as his part in pushing ed down into the darkness (trying to drag blackbeard back) and izzy's apology makes ed feel worse somehow and gives him some absolution when he finally figures out how to return his own. ed kisses stede but says he wants to take it slow. episode 8: wedding episode!! calypso's birthday!! ed uses his loot to bankroll lupete's wedding. stede reacts with violence to ned and we know from everything before that ed is actively trying to distance himself from the violence of piracy because, yeah, of course he is. is it a good idea? nope. does it make sense to his character for him to still be putting a good chunk of the blame on piracy for his actions, rather than accepting the parts of his whole and learning how to regulate those parts healthily? yes. anyway, stede reacts to his own violence by clutching for ed, ed feels after like his boundaries were pushed. same as show. episode 9: ed is having a meltdown. he and izzy have started to heal, so izzy watching him stare at fishing boats and just chatting to him like nothing happened actually makes a lick of sense. lupete are on their honeymoon at jackie's. olu gets to hook back up with zheng and archie and jim want to go along because they're not super happy on the ship still because although ed is doing better, the past of what he does still hangs over everyone. olu, zheng, jim and archie do not discuss the poly of it all properly, and it's hilarious and a mess, and gives us something to look forward to handling in season 3. ed freaks out about stede being violent when he's the one thing he felt like wasn't violent (and thus safe for him to be with), and about taking it not at all slow, breaks things off and runs away. izzy gets stede to come back to the ship. stede gets into a fight with zheng, the bombs go off, whatever (not a fan of this for her sake but if it has to happen, it can happen) episode 10: ed is off fishing but it's not going well and he's pissing pop-pop off all the time because he's not good at fishing. stede and co are handling the ricky of it all. the episode is mostly the same at the start, but instead of ed immediately going "omg, i gotta save bae" he doesn't find out about the attack until right at the end of the episode. stede and co make it back to the revenge and escape safely, and when ed retrieves his leathers and returns he thinks they're dead! he threatens/tortures/whatever some english and they say no, stede escaped! they all escaped! the season ends with ed, all decked out in his leathers, with his sword, now in the position stede was last season: staring out over the water, planning to find the man he loves.

this sets season 3 up for ed to be on his own for a little while, for him to handle and figure out how to channel his violence into something 'good' (wanting to find his love, wanting to protect his crew etc).

maybe season 3 flashes back to baby!ed again and the fact his first act of violence against his father wasn't motivated by anger or spite, it was motivated by wanting to protect someone he loved: his mum.

then season 3 they find each other again, and maybe they meet in the moonlight for the parallel to hit even better, they finally get back together properly, for good, with maybe some comedic issues along the way, and ed finds his place in the world to be less "blackbeard, the terror of the seas" and more "ed protects those he loves."

i honestly think this is probably how the show was originally meant to go, or at least something close.

i think midway through season 2, djenks heard it was over and he (rightfully) panicked and threw together a finale that tied up as many loose ends as he could because he knew.

and i dont think there's anything that could've been done about it. i think it was dead in the water (no pun intended) the moment all the MAX/HBO/whatever reshuffles happened, I think it was too queer and I genuinely think executive meddling made a lot of the more queer elements go away, possibly right down to trying to wipe away the exes/love interests of it all with that whole father figure thing

and, again, i'm not absolving djenks of some of his more baffling writing decisions. he's a grown man and he makes his own choices. but i am saying i think it explains a LOT about why the finale we got is what we got, and i'm not sorry stede and ed ended the show together rather than apart or with their lives hanging in the balance or something

anyway these are just a bunch of thoughts i've been having, tied together by the cancellation.

#ofmd #our flag means death

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identity-library · 10 months ago

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Diverse Sexuality (TV Shows)

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013)

José "Joey" Gutierrez (Gay)

Marcus Benson (Gay)

All Saints (1998)

Charlotte Beaumont (Bisexual)

American Dad (2005)

Greg (Gay)

Terry (Gay)

Andor (2022)

Cinta Kaz (Unspecified WLW)

Vel Sartha (Unspecified WLW)

Arthur (1996)

Nigel Ratburn (Gay)

Patrick (Gay)

Battlestar Galactica (2004)

Felix Gaeta (Bisexual)

Big Mouth (2017)

Ali (Pansexual)

Charles Lu (Unspecified MLM)

Connie LaCienega (Pansexual)

Elijah (Asexual)

Jayzarian "Jay" Bilzerian (Bisexual)

Jessica "Jessi" Glaser (Bisexual)

Matthew MacDell (Gay)

Maury Beverly (Pansexual)

Megan (Bisexual)

Mona (Bisexual)

Nadja El-Khoury (Lesbian)

Shannon Glaser (Lesbian)

Simon Sex (Bisexual)

Sonya Poinsettia (Bisexual)

Tyler Pico (Pansexual)

Bob's Burgers (2011)

Natalie "Nat" Kinkle (Unspecified WLW)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)

Jenny Gildenhorn (Bisexual)

Jocelyn Price (Lesbian)

Kevin Cozner (Gay)

Raymond "Ray" Holt (Gay)

Rosalita "Rosa" Diaz (Bisexual)

Chicago Fire (2012)

Clarice Carthage (Bisexual)

Darren Ritter (Gay)

Emily Foster (Bisexual)

Leslie Shay (Lesbian)

Chicago Med (2015)

Lawrence Dayle (Unspecified MLM)

Peter Kalmick (Unspecified MLM)

Terry McNeal (Gay)

Code Black (2015)

Carla Niven (Lesbian)

Malaya Pineda (Lesbian)

Noa Kean (Bisexual)

Community (2009)

Craig Pelton (Unlabeled MLM)

Frankie Dart (Unspecified WLW)

Craig of the Creek (2018)

Alexis (Pansexual)

Courtney (Lesbian)

George (Gay)

Jasmine Williams (Lesbian)

Kelsey Pokoly (Lesbian)

Laura Mercer (Lesbian)

Raj (Gay)

Secret Keeper (Gay)

Shawn (Gay)

Stacks (Lesbian)

Tabitha (Lesbian)

Dead End: Paranormal Park (2022)

Barney Guttman (Gay)

Logan Nguyen (Gay)

Norma Khan (Bisexual)

Zagan (Pansexual)

Doom Patrol (2019)

Kay Challis/Crazy Jane (Lesbian)

Larry Trainor (Gay)

Dr. Who (2005)

Adric (Pansexual)

Bill Potts (Lesbian)

Canton Everett Delaware ||| (Gay)

Chris Cwej (Bisexual)

Clara Oswald (Bisexual)

Elizabeth "Liz" Shaw (Bisexual)

Heather (Lesbian)

Jack Harkness (Omnisexual + Polyamorous)

Jennifer "Jenny Flint" Scarrity (Lesbian)

Madame Vastra (Lesbian)

Melony "River Song" Pond (Bisexual + Polyamorous)

Nyssa of Traken (Bisexual)

Oliver Harper (Gay)

Olivia "Liv" Chenka (Bisexual)

Patricia Haggard (Lesbian)

Rogue (Gay)

Tania Bell (Lesbian)

Tegan Jovanka (Bisexual)

Toshiko Sato (Bisexual)

Yasmin Khan (Queer)

Equestria Girls (2017)

Sunset Shimmer (Bisexual)

ER (1994)

Courtney Brown (Lesbian)

Kerry Weaver (Lesbian)

Kim Legaspi (Lesbian)

Maggie Doyle (Lesbian)

Sandy Lopez (Lesbian)

Euphoria (2019)

Cal Jacobs (Bisexual)

Elliot (Unlabeled MLM)

Jules Vaughn (Unlabeled WLW)

Nate Jacobs (Unspecified MLM)

Rue Bennett (Lesbian)

Ever After High (2013)

Apple White (Unspecified WLW)

Darling Charming (Unspecified WLW)

Glee (2009)

Adam Crawford (Gay)

Alistair (Unspecified MLM)

Blaine Anderson (Gay)

Brittany Pierce (Bisexual)

Dani (Lesbian)

David "Dave" Karofsky (Gay)

Elliott Gilbert (Gay)

Hiram Barry (Gay)

Kurt Hummel (Gay)

Leroy Barry (Gay)

Santana Lopez (Lesbian)

Sebastian Smythe (Bisexual)

Spencer Porter (Gay)

Grey's Anatomy (2005)

Amelia Shepherd (Bisexual)

Arizona Robbins (Lesbian)

Callie Torres (Bisexual)

Carina DeLuca (Bisexual)

Dayna Knox (Lesbian)

Eliza Minnick (Lesbian)

Erica Hahn (Lesbian)

Levi Schmitt (Gay)

Mika Yasuda (Bisexual)

Nico Kim (Gay)

Taryn Helm (Lesbian)

Teddy Altman (Bisexual)

Harley Quinn (2019)

Basil Karlo/Clayface (Gay)

Edward Nygma/The Riddler (Gay)

Frank (Asexual)

Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn (Bisexual)

Leslie Wills/Livewire (Lesbian)

Mari McCabe/Vixen (Bisexual)

Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy (Bisexual)

Selina Kyle/Catwoman (Unspecified WLW)

Sylvester "Sy" Borgman (Bisexual)

Hazbin Hotel (2024)

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual)

Angel Dust (Gay)

Charlotte "Charlie" Morningstar (Lesbian)

Cherri Bomb (Bisexual)

Husker (Pansexual)

Sir Pentious (Bisexual)

Vaggie (Unspecified WLW)

Valentino (Pansexual)

Vox (Bisexual)

Heartbreak High (2022)

Darren Rivers (Gay, Queer)

Donald "Ca$h" Piggott (Asexual)

Dustin Reid (Unspecified MLM)

Malakai Mitchell (Bisexual)

Missy Beckett (Bisexual)

Quinni Gallagher-Jones (Lesbian)

Rowan Callaghan (Bisexual)

Sasha So (Lesbian)

Heartstopper (2022)

Ben Hope (Unspecified MLM)

Charles "Charlie" Spring (Gay)

Darcy Olsson (Lesbian)

Isaac Henderson (Asexual, Aromantic)

Nick Nelson (Bisexual)

Tara Jones (Lesbian)

How I Met Your Mother (2005)

James Stinson (Gay)

Human Resources (2022)

Claudia (Lesbian)

Danielle (Lesbian)

Flanny O'Lympic (Bisexual)

Van (Lesbian)

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir (2015)

Alix Kubdel (Aromantic)

Caline Bustier (Unspecified WLW)

Gisèle (Unspecified WLW)

Juleka Couffaine (Unspecified WLW)

Marc Anciel (Unspecified MLM)

Max Kanté (Asexual)

Nathaniel Kurtzberg (Unspecified MLM)

Rose Lavillant (Unspecified WLW)

Zoé Lee (Unspecified WLW)

Modern Family (2009)

Cameron Tucker (Gay)

Gil Thorpe (Gay)

Mitchell Pritchett (Gay)

Pepper Saltzman (Gay)

Ronaldo (Unspecified MLM)

Mom (2013)

Bonnie Plunkett (Bisexual)

Ray Stabler (Gay)

Rudy (Bisexual)

Nanbaka (2016)

Jyugo (Bisexual)

New Amsterdam (2018)

Elizabeth Wilder (Bisexual)

Iggy Frome (Gay)

Lauren Bloom (Bisexual)

Leyla Shinwari (Lesbian)

Martin McIntyre (Gay)

New Girl (2011)

Melissa (Unspecified WLW)

Reagan Lucas (Bisexual)

Sadie (Lesbian)

Peacemaker (2022)

Christopher Smith/Peacemaker (Bisexual)

Leota Adebayo (Lesbian)

Private Practice (2007)

Amelia Shepherd (Bisexual)

Raising Dion (2019)

Kat Neese (Lesbian)

Roswell, New Mexico (2019)

Alex Manes (Gay)

Allie Meyers (Unspecified WLW)

Anatsa Mufaro (Unspecified WLW)

Blaire (Unspecified WLW)

Forrest (Gay)

Isobel Evans-Bracken (Bisexual)

Michael Guerin (Bisexual)

Shivani Sen (Unspecified WLW)

Runaways (2017)

Karolina Dean (Lesbian)

Nico Minoru (Bisexual)

Xavin (Pansexual)

Safe (2018)

Pete Mayfield (Gay)

Saving Hope (2012)

Bree Hannigan (Lesbian)

Maggie Lin (Bisexual)

Sydney Katz (Lesbian)

Shadowhunters (2016)

Alexander "Alec" Lightwood (Gay)

Aline Penhallow (Unspecified WLW)

Magnus Bane (Bisexual)

Olivia Wilson (Unspecified WLW)

Samantha (Unspecified WLW)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)

Adora (Lesbian)

Bow (Bisexual)

Catra (Lesbian)

Double Trouble (Gay)

Entrapta (Bisexual)

George (Gay)

Glimmer (Bisexual)

Huntara (Lesbian)

Kyle (Bisexual)

Lance (Gay)

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9-1-1: Lone Star (2020)

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jobrookekarev · 16 days ago

Text

Back to December: Chapter One

Chapter: One of Four

Words: 2,742

Summary: An accident brings Alex and Izzie back to Grey-Sloan Hospital. There they meet Jo again, but she's already moved on leaving Alex to pine after the life he lost

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson(Past), Alex Karev/Izzie Stevens, Jo Wilson/Jack Gibson.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Izzie Stevens, Jack Gibson, Andy Herrera, Owen Hunt, Levi Schmitt, More to Come,

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst, Relationship(s), Hurt/Comfort, Family, Alternate Canon, Drabble, Pining, Drama, Slow Build, Sad, Slow Burn, Pregnancy, There Is No Happy Ending.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

@thejolexgroupchat: Yes, I got your letter, Yes, I'm doing better, I know that it's over, I don't need your closure.

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Alex paced back and forth as he waited for the EMTs to come to the house. Alexis and Eli were standing next to him worrying about their mom. Although Izzie was in bright spirits as she stared up at them trying to reassure the kids with a smile. She was laying on the couch in their brownstone overlooking Lake Washington. They had chosen the more eastern Seattle neighborhood for its close proximity to Seattle Pres. And far away from not Grey-Sloan and the waterfront neighborhood where they might accidentally run into someone they knew.

“I'm fine Alex, it was just fall, it's probably just the heat,” Izzie said, putting a hand to her head where he had placed a cold washcloth across her forehead.

“Mommy do you want an ice cream,” Eli asked, holding Izzie's hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Not right now baby but why don't you and Alexis go get some?” Izzie said, giving them a too bright smile.

“Can we Daddy?” Alexis asked, tugging on his hand.

“Yeah, go get whatever you want from the freezer,” Alex gave her forced smile before she ran off.

Eli hung around before Izzie gave his hand a squeeze. “Go on baby, get some chocolate ice cream from Mommy and I'll be okay. Daddy's going to take good care of me.”

“Okay Mommy,” Eli said before leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead, then he ran off to join Alexis for ice cream.

It was only then that Izzie's smile fell and she put a hand to her head. She was weak and he knew it. She doesn't hide it around him.

“Izzie…”

“I know,” Izzie said with a shake of her head. “I just don't want the twins to see me like this.”

“But that's why I'm here,” Alex said with a sigh. “So that I can take care of them and you.”

“I don't need you to take care of me,” Izzie said, raising her voice despite what she said earlier to Eli.

“Mommy?” Eli asked, his voice coming from the other room.

“I'm okay, buddy, just get your ice cream!” Izzie called back in a happier tone but she still glared at him.

“Yes, you do because who else is gonna do it, Iz?” Alex asked, with a sigh, knowing there was no one else.

He didn't know why Izzie fought him on this. Alex came to Kansas for her and the twins. He gave up everything for her. It was something he was starting to resent her for and he had the feeling that Izzie was starting to sense that in him. He gave up everything for her, for their kids, he gave up his home, his career, the love of his life for her. Although, he was the one who had made the decision to leave it all. But she was the one who kept his kids from him. And she was the one dying alone of cancer, someone had to take care of her.

“I get it, you don't want me, but none of us can take it back now,” Alex tried not to grit his teeth.

“I know,” Izzie said with a shake of her head. “You made the most selfless sacrifice in the world to take care of our twins and I have no right to ask you to stick around, but you did anyway. I didn't make that choice for you, Alex.”

“You did when you kept my kids from me,” Alex said, arguing back and clenching his fists. “You kept them from me for five more years.”

“Are we really going to have this argument again,” Izzie asked, glaring up at him.

But before he could respond, they heard the knock on the door, “Daddy the police are here.”

“Thanks, Alexis,” Alex said as he went over to the door opening it up, but he was surprised to see the faces of Station 19 as they came in.

Although Alex was lucky that he didn't recognize anyone or vice versa. Or that Ben Warren wasn’t there either.

“She's in here,” Alex said, going to where Izzie was laying on the couch. “She fainted twenty minutes ago and has been light-headed all day. Her blood pressure is low….”

“And I'm dying of cancer,” Izzie said, looking up at them and pulling off the scarf on her head before putting it on the side table. “That's why I fainted.”

“Her doctor is at Seattle Pres,” Alex said looking over at a tall and lean, black woman with long box braids. “Can you take us there instead of Grey-Slone?”

“I wish we could, but they're close to trauma due to flooding,” a tall tan EMT with brown hair and a short brown beard told them, before he kneeled down next to Izzie.

Alex looked over to see the twins still standing in the entryway. Eli clung to the doorway, but Alexis stood tall trying to be brave. They were holding hands, their knuckles white, betraying their fear. Alex waved them over, but Eli just shook his head and Alexis, seeing her brother’s response, opted to stay next to him.

One of the other EMTs, a brown-haired guy with a thin stubble of a beard, put on a pair of blue gloves as he sat on the coffee table next to Izzie. “Hi my name is Jack, now I know you have cancer, but is there any other reason you could have fainted? Could you be pregnant at all?”

“Ignore him,” one of the other EMTs that Alex recognized as Andy Herrera said. “His girlfriend is an OB and she’s pregnant so he wants to use any excuse to see her.”

“Sorry,” Jack said looking down with a little blush of embarrassment.

“No it's okay, I suppose there is a chance I could be pregnant,” Izzie said, with a real smile.

“Izzie,” Alex said in a warning knowing that wasn’t true, but Izzie just glared back at him

“Thank you,” Jack said, with a beaming smile.

“So it looks like your BP is low and your heartbeat isn’t as steady as I’d like it, so let's get you to the hospital where the doctors can figure out why you fainted,” Herrera said as they got ready to load Izzie onto the stretcher.

“I should stay here and watch the twins,” Alex said, looking over at them waiting on the porch.

“If I have to go to the hospital you have to come with me, that's the deal,” Izzie said, setting him with a look. “Susan can watch the twins, she's already here.”

Their neighbor, an older, black haired woman with two teenagers of her own, had come out seeing all the commotion and looked at them with a sad smile. “Don't worry Dr. Karev, I will take care of the twins.”

Eli and Alexis had followed them out and now hung onto Susan as they watched them put Izzie in the ambulance.

“Don't worry my babies, Mommy will be okay,” Izzie said as she blew them a kiss. Each of them blew her a kiss back.

Alex reluctantly got into the back of the rig, and sat next to Jack. He wondered if he should call or text Meredith and let her know they were coming in. They had gotten back in touch when they moved back to Seattle a few months after Izzie’s cancer got worse. Meredith was happy to see them again, but angry at the way he left. She was also the only one who knew they were in Seattle.

“How far along is your girlfriend?” Izzie said, making small talk as they rode to the hospital.

“She's 36 weeks pregnant with twin boys. I keep begging her to take maternity leave but she refuses,” Jack said, with a shake of his head.

“What's her name?”

“Her name is Josie.”

“Josie, she sounds sweet. I had our twins at 37 weeks and I was happy to take maternity leave at 30 weeks. My entire body ached.”

“She often complains about the same feeling when she gets home from work.”

“So you live together and have a baby. How come you’re not married?” Izzie asked with a sneaky smile.

“Izzie,” Alex sighed, but she ignored him. “We're not married either.”

“Not for lack of trying,” Izzie said, looking back at him with a glare.

“You sound like my Josie. After she told me she was pregnant, I proposed to her, but she refused to marry me. She says she loves me and she wants to be with me always, but she won't let me put a ring on her finger.” Jack said with a shake of his head. “But I get it, she's been married before and as soon as they got married things changed and they got divorced soon after so now she thinks it's bad luck.”

Soon enough they pulled up to Grey-Sloan. Alex dreaded every second of it, especially as the ambulance doors opened. They were greeted with Owen and Schmidt as they met the rig. Alex was lucky enough to be able to hide from them for a moment as they focused on Izzie, listing off her stats as they brought her in. When Alex got down from the rig, Owen did a double take before his eyes widened.

“What are you doing here?” Owen asked, but Alex just looked at Izzie and Owen went quiet.

“He's taking care of his girlfriend,” Hererra said, looking between the two of them confused.

“Jack, why don't you go find Josie,” Owen said, giving him a pat on his arm and trying to send him away.

“You don't have to tell me twice,” Jack said with a smile as he started walking off.

The rest of the EMTs left and they wheeled Izzie into the trauma room as her eyes followed Jack. “Oh but I wanted to meet his girlfriend, she’s an OB. I could be pregnant.”

Schmidt and Owen exchanged a look, their eyes going wide before Owen turned to yell at the intern. “Intercept the person coming down from OB and go get Dr. DeLuca-Bishop.”

“Why?” the intern asked, confused as his eyebrows rose.

“Just do it,” Schmidt yelled as Alex looked at the resident, surprised at his change in strength. “And get Dr. Grey for a general consultation too instead of whoever's coming!”

“We're just here because it's the closest hospital, but can we get a transfer if possible? Izzie's doctors are a Seattle Pres.”

“We'll take a quick look at her and then see if we can get her transferred,” Owen said with a short nod as he began his exam.

“Oh is that Josie?” Izzie asked, pointing to a woman in pink scrubs as she walked past the windows of the trauma room.

As Alex looked up and instantly recognized her. Despite the pink scrubs, her blonde highlighted hair, and her extremely swollen belly. Alex knew it was Jo. He watched her walk over to Jack with a smile before she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned to kiss him. Jack kissed her back with enthusiasm and passion. When he pulled back he reached down to hold her belly and she moved his hands to where the babies were probably kicking. Alex stepped out of the trauma room as he watched them.

��Jo,” Alex whispered, not meaning to say it out loud as she whipped around.

Jo stared at him, her eyes wide and her lips parted. She seemed frozen in surprise as she blinked at him. He wondered if she was thinking he'd disappear on her, again.

“Alex,” Jo whispered, staring at him as Jack looked between the two of them before the realization dawned across his face.

“Wait you're her Alex, Alex Karev, Josie's ex-husband,” Jack said his expression turned to anger and he moved in front of Jo. “You have some nerve…”

“It's okay Jack,” Jo said, finally looking away from him to address Jack, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Just let me do this consultat and then we can go get lunch.”

“Sorry, Wilson, but it's Izzie Stevens and apparently she could be pregnant,” Owen said, holding up the tablet charts as Jo huffed and glared at Alex, before looking over at Izzie who was talking to Schmitt oblivious to the situation in front of her.

“She's not really, we just lied because Jack told us about you and he wanted to see you,” Alex said, still staring at Jo.

She came into the room and read over her chart. Her eyes glanced up at Izzie and the anger in her eyes disappeared into a flash of sadness.

“You must be Josie, Jack was telling us all about you.” Izzie gushed with a smile completely oblivious to who she was talking to. “How are you still on your feet at 36 weeks with twins? When I had my twins I was so eager to go on maternity leave!”

Jo's glare returned as she set him with a look, putting a hand on her belly.

“Let's just run a urinalysis and page me with the results,” Jo said, glancing at the intern.

“But I'm a surgical intern,” They said, reluctant to take the table from Jo.

“Just do it, Adams!” Jo glared at him and the intern shut up and took the tablet.

Jo glanced at Alex for a second. His lips parted and he wanted to talk to her, but then Izzie reached out and gripped his hands. He glanced down at Izzie before looking back to Jo. There was so much hurt and pain in her eyes.

“Jo, I'm sorry,” Alex said and it seemed to break the spell that held them as Jo nodded and turned to leave.

“I'll be back when the results come in,” Jo said, as she left, leaving his words hanging between them.

Alex couldn't bear to watch her leave, but he did. He saw her walk over to Jack and greet him with a smile. She melted into his arms and hugged him. Jack placed a kiss on her head. Then he put another hand on her back, gently rubbing up and down before they started to walk away.

Alex couldn't help the thought that he should be the one rubbing her back, he should be kissing her head and stressing about her working and not taking leave. He also thought that she should be having his baby, his twins. But he missed that chance when he left. He gave up having a life with her, a family. There was no chance that they could get together now.

“That nurse Olivia always was so short, I can't believe you ever slept with her,” Izzie said with a glare at him and Alex just nodded.

He wasn't surprised Izzie didn't recognize Jo, she had only seen her once in the photo Alex kept in his wallet. Owen and Schmidt glanced at her with raised eyebrows before they looked at Alex, but he just shook his head. The doctors had agreed that it was better to give in to the delusions. Correcting her only led to anger and tears and frustration.

That was the real reason he left, because he had to take care of his kids and give them someone to count on. He knew Jo didn't deserve the burden of all of this. It was his and his alone to take care of and that's what he would do. No matter how much it hurt or how much she wanted to chase after his happiness, to chase after Jo.

As much as he loves his kids, as much happiness and love and laughter that they brought to his life, there was always a piece of him that was missing. That piece of Jo that was always the other half of his heart. His heart would never heal from the hole that came when he left and ripped her out of his heart. Just like the brain tumor Izzie had was leaving a hole in her memory.

#alex karev #jo wilson #grey's anatomy #izzie stevens #jack gibson #my work #my writing #my fanfiction #greys anatomy #jolex #izzex

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