#j yelled at me to improve it

[norrstri]

Norrstri Introduction

Welcome to my F1 blog! This is where I’ll be posting my most unhinged thoughts on F1 and where I’ll also be posting some of my works!

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Name: Ellie

Age: 22

Pronouns: she/her

Interests: F1

Pairs: landoscar

Drivers: OP81, LN4, CL16

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Fic Masterlist:

Forget my Fears, Ignore my Frets (11.6k words, smut)

Oscar’s gaze briefly flickered to the side, and he could already sense the amount of posts he’d see about it later, about not keeping his eyes off of Lando as per usual. But at that moment, he didn’t care, not when the Brit stood there on the top spot as if he was born to stand there.

Lando stood like a bronzed Greek statue, pride in his posture as he stood straight, his head held high. Beads of sweat traced a path down his neck. The Aussie’s tongue subtly rolled out between his lips as he watched Lando’s own form into a grin.

Or, Lando gets his first race win at the 2024 Silverstone Grand Prix, and he wants to celebrate the victory with Oscar.

Where you go, I go (5.4k words, Landoscar dads AU)

“Talia, sweetheart, you’ve got to come with me to work, okay?” Lando’s voice held a gentle tone as he reached up, sweeping her hair away from her face.

“Why I go to daddy’s work?” Talia mumbled, her words slightly hindered by the bright pink dummy in her mouth.

“Because daddy has to work! Auntie Ria can’t play with you today, so we’re going to go play at work!” Lando gave her a radiant smile, to which she returned instantly. “Take your dummy out, sweetie.”

Talia popped the dummy out of her mouth with enthusiasm. “Is papa racing?” Her eyes lit up with joy. “I wanna watch papa race!”

Or, in which, Lando and Oscar are the fathers to a little girl named Talia Piastri-Norris.

Under the Sunset (101.8k words, Spiderman Landoscar AU)

“Dude, Spiderman was opposite the building again! He’s been there so much recently, I’m starting to think he lives here or something.”

Oscar choked on a french fry, lightly patting his chest and grabbing his drink to wash it down. “Have you thought about the fact that he probably likes the area?”

“No! He goes there with a hoodie and a backpack, he’s probably on his way home or something! Could you imagine? Spiderman could actually live in the flats opposite us!” Lando exclaimed, turning his head to the window and he could slightly see the same building. The world now becoming suffocated by the increasing darkness, the sunset long gone.

Oscar pinched the bridge of his nose, “I think you’re reading into this way too much, mate.”

Or, Lando is obsessed with the friendly-neighbourhood Spiderman and Oscar is his good best friend that listens.

[b0mblover]

Greed makes me sick. 

By: J

Woo fucking hoo, gotta love projection! (this was 100% self indulgent, idk how well it actually works with jiro but! Oh fucking well! At least im getting smth done ig) 

Cw; Selfharm, Suicide Ideation, Jiro generally being unhealthy, awful writing

Once again; sorry for your eyes, goodluck

Jiro laid in his bed, glancing at the clock on his phone every so often, around 21:34. Mindlessly scrolling through some of his friends' accounts, he never wanted to admit it, but he does in a way enjoy ‘stalking’ his friends, “friends” being mostly of people he's never met or talked to a day in his life, but that's never really mattered to him. 

Usually it's just to catch up on everything, ‘oh they finally got married’ etc. boring stuff, but why the hell not. 

But other times like today, it made him want to throw up. He was happy for them, sure, but there was a disgusting jealousy spreading throughout his chest, traveling down his esophagus, down to his stomach, and setting there. He’s felt it before, the first few times it happened, he thought he literally had to throw up, resulting in him essentially purging to get the feeling out; it didn't ever work. He gave up on trying, it usually went away on its own, just how long would it take was the question. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. It was all a possibility. The longer he felt it, the worse it became. He’d liked to say that it started off slowly, but it never did. Usually the first thing he jumped to was ‘I'll never be like them, no matter how hard I try, so what's the point in living?’ He wished he could say it was irrational, but it just wasn't. He knew due to one reason or another, he couldn't be like them, no matter how hard he tried, no matter for how long he never gave up. He would always fail. He wished he could also say that he had no desires, that would be a lie too. Seeing people do what you've wanted to do for years of your life, that you never came close to doing, so easily, it hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It. Hurt. and he wished he could say it didn't. He wished something so very mundane didn't hurt. He hated jealousy, he hated greed, perhaps that's why it hurt so much more. Because he was a hypocrite. It's not like he wished that they weren't able to do that, he just wanted to be able to do it too.  

Jealousy, is an odd word. People always assume that if you are jealous- that you wish ill on whoever you’re jealous of. But that couldn't be further from what he felt. Sometimes, it was tiring to constantly work and work for something others have so easily, that you'll never get. Why does life deal such shitty hands to people who care? Or is it the other way? Shitty hands in life make you care? Either way, it still made him sick.  

Somedays, he got off easy, he knew it's not their fault, sometimes motivated by a ‘you'll get there someday, you just have to keep trying’. Days like this though, that wasn't the case. Trying is pointless, not that he just feels like it, but it is. No amount of trying or wishing will ever work. Shitty hand remember? So if he couldn't do what he wanted, what was the point in living? Maybe he was crazy, fucking insane even, no one talks about this sort of thing, there's probably a reason, right?  

He sat up on his mattress, took a look at his phone, then tossed it across the room. He would’ve thrown it, but he didn't see a point in breaking the phone or wall if he was angry. He wasn't even angry either, just like there was a hole in his chest where his heart should be, and that hole was filled with bile.  

He looked down and stared at his hands, disgusting. Failure. He was a failure. He had good grades, sure, but it really didn't mean anything. Grades are just numbers, and numbers that didn't matter to him. If When he gets older, he's probably not going to be sitting on his deathbed thinking about how he got a 100% on a math quiz. But this?  

He stood up and walked over to his ‘desk’, clean for 4 months at the simple request of a friend. It's not like she’d know or find out if he did it. Well, unless he couldn't keep his mouth shut as usual. Even if she did find out, would she care? Would she even remember what was said? Ha. Maybe she’d tell him how pathetic he was, unable to go past a small styro, he is really pathetic, so it’d be fitting.  

Even if she somehow did ‘care’ as much as she said, wouldn't it be tiresome? That was one of the main reasons he stopped in the first place, taking care of people, even if you love them can be tiresome. So she was bound to get tired and bored of it. She’d probably grow to not care, part of him wanted that.  

He admittedly fantasizes thinks about what would've happened if he hadn't stopped, more than he should. 

Maybe she’d grow annoyed of his break/melt downs, maybe she'd make fun of him instead, he couldn't really blame her either way. Part of him wanted her to grow bored of him, but the other selfish part, hated the idea. Even now, he considered reaching out “You don't have to suffer alone, I’m always here, you’ll never annoy me.” but..  

He appreciated it, but it probably wasn't meant for something like this. What was the point? It wasn't like he was gonna kill himself, no matter how badly he wanted to. Sure, it wasn't a necessarily ‘healthy’ coping mechanism, but. It's not like he could do much damage anyways right? This was just like scratching himself when he was pissed off, not healthy, but what could anyone do? It didn't really hurt, so what would be the point in taking it away?  

Without caring enough to think it through, he picked up the blade, and sliced through the mid of his forearm. It stung. More than usual, but who even cares. He spun his chair around, then sat down. He brought the blade to his arm again- he really was pathetic, wasn't he? Slice- even if someone for some reason cared- slice- it's not like they should, he was pathetic and needy- slice- maybe some people in this world are supposed to die? Or suffer at least- slice- but, he didn't really want anyone else to suffer. If he met someone just as himself, would he hate them too? Or would he take pity? Slice- He smiled. His arm felt weak. Hand shaky. No one was coming to save him. No one knew of what he’d done. No matter what, he’s always alone. He deserved it.  

He stared at his arm for a few minutes, the deepest he’s ever cut, after not even 5 minutes, it looks pathetic again. God he's stupid. What if she somehow does find out? She wouldn't outwardly say how pathetic he is, she wasn't that type of person. She’d probably show some sort of concern. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCK. She’ll probably show some sort of care, attention. He didn't want that. Great. Now it looks like he did it all just for attention! Fucking wonderful.  

He glanced at his phone that had been lazily thrown on the floor, part wishing someone messaged, anyone, but dreading having to respond. No matter how much he loved them, responding right after this thing, he always seemed off, too off. 

He took a breath, trying to collect what little of himself was left. He should get something to drink. Yeah, that’ll probably make him feel at least a bit more level-headed.  

But there again, he is a waste of space, failure, etc. he’s heard most of the names by now mostly from himself but that didn't matter, does he really deserve something as simple as drinking? Even basic things do cost money, even if just a few cents. Why waste it on himself? But his throat is so dry still,,  

He walked out of his bedroom, hitting his face on the door, forgetting it was very muchly locked, precaution. He wanted to lash out, take every bit of anger out on it but then…. Nothing. Numbness. He didn't even have a good reason to feel angry. It was his fault anyways. He took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and walked out.  

Walking to the kitchen, slower than usual, he started to wonder again with how he was going to hide his awful wonderful misdeed. Makeup worked.. Well honestly for him it worked awfully. Nothing ever seemed to match in all lighting, plus that was only really an option for scars, tactile cuts didn't really improve much when paired with a powder or creme (?? sorry idk), plus it could run the risk of infection. Right? He's never seen anything warning against it so maybe not? But putting something that has chemicals like that into a cut, it didn't seem correct. Considering what minuscule things could cause infection. Not that he'd mind getting infected and slowly, painfully dying. He just didn't like the look generally.  

What could he do then? Wear a jacket like normal, sure, but she always finds out somehow. Gods know how, not him, but somehow. He could bandage it sure, but that ran the risk of even more questions, it wasn't exactly news that he didn't care about proper ‘aftercare’ like that. Sure, not properly covering it, cleaning the blade etc. could cause infection, but.. Well. He didn't have any excuses, he was just biased in some ungodly way that he never noticed right until that very moment! (Large cough. H e l p.) 

Grabbing a random cup, he decided to just tough it out like usual. Try to not show his arm in any setting but not be weird about it, try to act normaler than usual, sure it’ll suck, but it's between that and in his mind, ‘looking like an attention seeker’. He poured out what wasn't even 1/4th of a cup of water into the cup. His throat was just dry, it's not like he'd die from dehydration any time soon. Sure, he's human, doesn't that mean he just needs the absolute minimal amount of care? Hell, this couldn't even be considered minimal! He has a roof over his head, water, food, there's so much more he could go without, gods he's selfish huh? He sat down his empty glass beside the sink, very quietly laughing under his breath, pathetic, wasn’t it? He’s so selfish, he has it well, yet he acts like he has nothing! What more could he ask for in life? Stability? What a joke. He should really be more grateful. 

He stared at the glass glass beside him, staring into his distorted reflection. Well, at least there was always a way to fix it all. In the back of his mind, he was always running though, listing off methods, quickest, easiest, cheapest, messiest, etc. No matter how hard he tried, he’d never figured out the ‘perfect suicide’ in his own eyes. 

Though, recently, a method stuck his eye. Nitrogen gas. He’d heard it takes one out quickly, but makes them struggle and suffer beforehand. Perfect for himself. No time to back out because of how quickly it takes you, pain before death, he’d never wanted a peaceful one. It was near perfect. But one of the main issues was managing to get any. Or get around any in general. (little did Jiro know; he was only a few letters off from his actual suicide; that being Nitroglycerin!)  

But, he doubted it was realistic, for reasons already stated, so he was stuck with whatever other incredibly fucked method he inevitably decides on. It's not like he probably will anytime soon either, no matter how much he wants to. He walked back to his room, flopping down as soon as he was close enough for at least his face to hit the mattress. Thud totally comfortable.  

He stood up once again, actually closing his door this time. Then sitting on the bed properly, right, shit, his phone. No, no one probably texted, they're all busy. What can only be described as a mantra he mentally spoke, trying his best to not get his hopes up and what left of his heart shattered, even if he was always deep-down hoping, begging for any sort of message.  

He walked around to the far wall, and picked up his phone, quickly turning it around, anticipation and tension always left more room for disappointment. He seen the messaging app icon and- no one. A stupid update reminder. He’d rather’ve seen absolutely nothing than that. But whatever, they're busy, she's busy. He reminded himself, trying to subside the constant idea that they all fucking loath him for everything that he's ever done. But it's probably true though right? Of course it is. They all hate him. No matter how close, they all do. He’ll never change, will he? Why even bother at this point, he loved talking to them all sure, but why do they bother to talk to him? Pity? Perhaps. A disgusting feeling crept back up into his stomach and esophagus, it unknowingly had disappeared some minutes ago. Not like it mattered now. He tossed his phone to the side of his bed, on the ground, not bothering to charge it. It's not like anyone will message anyways. He's an idiot, everytime, everyday, why does he still feel such anticipation anyways? The answer didn't matter. He was tired. He didn't want to sleep, he hadn't gotten anything done, hell he was bored. But he had no energy to do anything. Just because of some stupid post. Sensitive. Weak. Pathetic. Why was he even still here? He's just dead weight to everyone he meets. What is the point. 

He laid there, he didn't know for how long, it didn't matter, he heard a door shut, they're back. He couldn't talk to them or face them like this. No. He’ll fake sleeping, maybe he’ll fall asleep in the process, that'd be nice, or if he never woke up, both seem ideal to him. 

He laid on his stomach, right arm obscuring his face, left in a weak fist. It was a default ‘I swear I'm asleep’ pose, shockingly comfortable too!  

Staring at the back of his eyelids, repeating bright colours and vague shapes started appearing, in a way it always felt a bit soothing, it was always there for him.  

Even when he wasn't there for himself. 

[sc0tters]

In The Break | Mat Barzal

summary: the Barzal house is at its breaking point without their key member their to save the day.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing, grammar that I think a four year old would use.

word count: 2.09k

authors note: this is officially probably one of my favourite (soft) things that I’ve written. Like I can’t get over how cute everyone is. But like weirdly enough I can’t tell if I acc like this so I’m just going to how that it had the luna stamp of approval.

You didn’t think would had ever been more excited to have Mat back home as you were in that moment.

Tilly had been teething and James wanted his father at every waking moment.

Your energy was practically nonexistent as your one year old wasn’t sleeping through the night and that meant that you weren’t either.

It seemed that all three of you were at your wits end and as both kids were sat in the playroom with Tilly sporting her red swollen cheeks. James had gone on about how he couldn’t wait to see his father you knew you were being stupid but it hurt you hearing his praise as he had done nothing but spew the negative words that were in your four year olds Arsenal.

You tried to brush his hair wanting to get him ready for the day “I’m home!” Mat called out as he opened the front door making both kids turn their heads in the direction of him.

Before you knew it you were shoved to the ground as they both seemed to finally behave as they stopped their negative moods “hi baby!” Mat cooed as he crouched down and wrapped his arms around the boy.

Tilly waddled after her brother causing her father to gasp at her improved abilities at walking “where is mama?” The hockey player’s eyes lit up as he saw you tuck your hair behind your ears.

A smile formed on Mat’s lips as he so effortlessly held the children to his sides “hi pretty lady.” It seemed that he didn’t take note of the dark circles that lay under your eyes “was thinking we could go get ice cream with them?” His words cause the kids to cheer as Mat kissed your lips.

That was honestly the last thing you needed to hear. Both kids had won the battle of avoiding nap time until their father got home “Til hasn’t had her nap yet.” You pointed out with a sigh.

You weren’t expecting any shut eye during this time as Mat had been gone for two weeks and you did miss your husband. But you knew that if both kids didn’t try for their naps you would be the one to truly pay the price later on “they won’t be that bad.” As all three sent you a smile you couldn’t help but sigh as you nodded conceding defeat.

It was almost like you could have been a fortune teller. Tilly had cried herself to sleep as she was so grumpy without her teddy that not even Mat’s arms could put her mind at ease.

And your sweet little James had been sat on his fathers lap with every chance he could get.

So now you were not only sleep deprived but you were also feeling neglected.

Mat loved seeing how his kids looked up at him but as he held James in his arms and had Tilly in the carrier as you walked ahead of them to the front door.

Getting Tilly to sleep was easy as you simply placed her in her cot where Mat offered to take over in changing her into her pyjamas. James on the other hand began to have a fit as he realised that his father was nowhere in sight as you sat down on his bed with a book “daddy daddy daddy!” He complained kicking his legs “J daddy is with Tilly right now.” You sighed opening the book.

Yet that seemed to aggravate your son further “I want daddy not you.” Again you knew that James didn’t know the gravity of his words but in that moment you wanted to just break down.

You tried to ignore him as you began reading “I hate you momma where’s daddy!” Having children was another moment of learning how to bite your tongue and you had been doing so much better “you think I want to be here either!” You yelled back finally letting your anger go “I’m tired and for the last two weeks you have treated me like I’m not here!” As James flinched your eyes went wide.

Not once in the four years of being his mom had you ever raised your voice “J I’m-” before you could reach out to apologise Mat walked in “daddy!” James cheered.

Mat sent you a look of concern as you got up “think he wants you to read this.” You mumbled shoving the book into his hands as you let the door shut behind you “momma always said this was a book huh?” Mat smiled as he nestled into the mattress as James rested against him.

Guilt drowned you as you sat with your hands around your knees letting the warm water from the shower land on your back before the droplets slowly dripped down your skin. Tears painted your cheeks as you so badly just wanted to wake up and see that this was all just some bad dream “baby?” Mat called out as he walked into the bedroom.

It didn’t take him long to realise that you were in the shower “shit y/n!” Your husband didn’t care that he walked into the shower with all of his clothes still on.

In one quick movement Mat helped you up before he pulled you into a hug “Mat!” You cried as the hockey player reached behind you to turn the shower off.

Your tears soaked his shirt as you realised all the things you are frustrated about, not being able to make Tilly feel better as she teethed, James deciding that he hated you and how you let it get to you. But most of all how Mat came in and ruined the schedule you set with the kids.

Usually you wouldn’t have cared if they missed a day but you were tired and felt unloved and for that you let it irritate you today.

So you pushed Mat away as he handed you a towel “baby?” He was surprised to see the glare you sent him as you wiped your eyes.

Mat stood there with wide eyes “you went against me today.” The only rule you had about being parents was that you two had to remain united and that’s kind of hard when he ignores your scheduling.

He remained silent as you continued “how am I meant to keep it together here when you come in and play god or some shit becoming their favourites all over again.” You knew you were being stupid but it made you want to cry as you thought about it when your throat grew tight.

The hockey player scoffed “sorry that when I don’t see the kids for two weeks I want to go do something fun with them!” He felt like your statement was beyond aggressive as it quickly turned into a screaming match “Mat I told you that they needed to sleep and you still went with what you wanted!” Before he could even think about his rebuttal the baby monitor went off.

Tilly’s cries pulled your attention away from your husband “I would go but I’d hate to fuck with her sleep schedule.” Mat’s words had you rolling your eyes as you wrapped the towel around your body “fuck off Mat.” You spat shaking your head as you walked out of your room and down the hall to hers.

Her eyes grew full as she turned her head to see you “hi my love.” You cooed picking her small body up letting her head rest against your shoulder.

Usually you weren’t one for picking her up and rather just showing her that you were there but tonight you needed a hug from someone who seemed happy to see you.

So you two stood like that for fifteen minutes as your gentle swaying of your body caused her to finally settle “good night my girl.” You placed her back into her crib before you brought your fingers to your lip kissing them before you let them press softly on her forehead.

The darkness of the hallway back to your room reminded you of the state that of chaos that you had left Mat in.

You nervously chewed at the inside of your cheek before you took a final deep breath and pushed the door open.

Mat seemed like a shell of himself as he had the baby cam in his hand as he replayed the footage of you humming some random rhyme as Tilly fell asleep “I never know how you do that with her.” Mat blurted out as you were always the one to save them when the kids woke up in the night.

It was a taken that Mat could never even fathom as he tried everything but most of the time their own tiredness would come back and bring them into a deep sleep.

Wanting to discard the towel you found one of Mats shirts that you had folded that morning so you put that on instead of your own clothes. You remained quiet as you brought the towel to the bathroom unaware of how Mat followed you “I don’t mean to always play good cop with them it’s just that I’m not always around in the season and-” Mat rambled on as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Now your guilt about lashing out at him came out “it’s fine babe.” You shook off his thoughts as you turned to face him “no it’s not.” It was clear that the hockey player wanted you and the kids around more than he got to see you “you’re their great mom and an even greater wife to me.” His hands wrapped around your neck as you hugged him.

Somehow that contact felt different to the one from thirty minutes ago. This time it was with love and care as he watched you smile when his lips pressed against your head “you deserve to be treated better than you are.” Mat had tried coming up with the lecture for James but he didn’t know how to do it without getting angry at his son.

Sure two years ago James was a total momma’s boy who refused to be with anyone who wasn’t you but Mat knew that if James spoke to him the way he had spoken to you, Mat would have lost it.

Maybe it sounded stupid but you had both gone through your insecure moments with the kids and you were now realising that “can we go to bed then?” You yawned finally wanting that sleep that you had waited so long for.

Mat laughed as he nodded “let’s go.” He watched as you pulled him out of the room back into your bedroom where your bed was a sight for sore eyes.

The next morning you woke up to the sound of giggles and Bluey blaring through the speakers of the tv downstairs. Mat wasn’t next to you so he had obviously woken up to spend time with the kids.

You yawned stretching out as you smiled to yourself letting your back comfortably rest on the mattress “momma?” A soft voice came from the door causing you to look up.

James stood there with his plushie that Tito had brought him back from Vancouver over the summer “hi J,” before you could say anything more your eldest was running into your room as he jumped onto your bed and quickly into your arms.

The sight warmed your heart “what is it my baby?” You cooed running your fingers through his hair “I love you,” James looked up at you with tears in his eyes causing you to frown.

Your finger wiped at his cheek “I love you so much love why are you crying?” You didn’t mean for your words to come out confused as you tried to soothe the boy.

James fiddled with your bracelet, a habit he picked up watching you do it when you were nervous “sorry I yell at you in room.” Your mom had told you that you were going to have moments where you knew you were a good parent and this felt like it was that.

You gave the boy a squeeze as you kissed the top of his head “I’m sorry too.” You mumbled with both you turning to the door as you heard someone walk up the stairs “you two got room for two more?” Mat asked as he pressed a kiss to Tilly’s cheek drawing a giggle from her lips.

The sight gave you so much joy as your heart felt full “always.”

[j0kers-light]

Okay that head canon about y/n getting sick and J worrying over her was precious 🥹 What if the tables were turned and J got bad sick and refused to take care of himself?

-🍄

My beloved 🍄 anon!! How I have missed you!

You stay providing me with amazing ideas! sick!reader was fun to write! So let’s explore a sick!Joker! This big baby… I’m gonna have fun with this one. 🖤✨as always enjoy enjoy!!

Joker does not get sick. He is far too busy to be bogged down with such a trivial thing as germs. Who do they think they are anyway?

Sure he's not superhuman but you would think all that time spent messing with chemicals and stuff would make him immune?

NOPE! Baby boy gets hit with the common cold and he’s out for weeks. It’s almost funny if not for the fact that Joker fighting for his life.

If only Batman knew a common cold could have J waving a white flag. 🥴

Unlike you Joker accepts rather quickly that he's sick and needs to sit his butt down somewhere.

That doesn't mean that decision is instantaneous. He ignores minor symptoms too. 🙄🙄

Like an itchy throat, watery eyes, a splitting headache. HE'S FINE. Joker powers through as if nothing is wrong. 👀 (sound familiar?)

Frost is the first to raise an eyebrow as the days progress and Joker doesn’t improve. He hints that J might be coming down with something only to be ignored. Frost tried to warn him.. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Just imagine Joker hosting a meeting like mid theatric speech and suddenly.. he sneezes.

Mac secretly took a video to send to you later because Joker looked too cute!

Joker and just about everyone in attendance was shocked at the comical (and adorable) sneeze that comes out this scary man.

👁️ 👄 👁️ them goons were shooketh girl lol

Joker threatens to murder anyone if they laugh but a snicker does escape when J sneezes again and almost bangs his head against the table (I'm fighting back tears anon! 🤣)

One glance at Frost has the meeting adjourned because they gotta drop Joker off at your place. He can't terrorize Gotham City like this!

That poor baby is a mess! Joker is sweating through his greasepaint, his nose is running like Usain Bolt, and he swears that Bane is punching him in the head. 😀 yup he’s sick.

It's time to go when Joker passes out in front of Frost, Mac, and Neo after one sneeze too many.

There's only one person they trust to look after Joker. Are you up for the challenge?

Frost is a big guy, but even he is struggling to carry Joker into your apartment. He called earlier explaining that Joker wasn't feeling too well so you left the front door unlocked.

You thought that meant Joker got hurt while out being a menace to society. That you could deal with. Some bandaids and a proper scolding, always did the trick.

You weren’t expecting Frost to dump your semi-unconscious lover onto your couch like a sack of potatoes. Joker looks almost unrecognizable and you fear the worst seeing how weak he is.

His hooded eyes take you in and a groggy, "Bunny.... I'm dying!" escapes his lips before you lock eyes with Frost.

"He has a cold."

😀 Lawd help us. If you thought Joker was a drama queen before Chile.. This grown man acts like a child staying home from school with pneumonia rather than a cold.

J has transformed himself into a blanket burrito with only his freckled face exposed. And he look so pitiful.

He can't breathe out of his nose anymore which has turned scarlet red since he doesn't use the tissues you bought him, (you yell at him to stop using his sleeves!) and he takes random naps as his immune system tries to fight off this infection. It’s doing a terrible job.

A common cold last a few days at most. A full week and a half later, and Joker is still in the trenches.

This is when you start to worry and take his illness more seriously.

Feed a cold, starve a fever so you work overtime to nurse your man back to health. You prepare the best homemade soups, arrange all the tv marathons J could ever want, you even sneak him medicine with tried and true motherly tactics.

J refused to take medicine so you cave and buy him jello, applesauce, pudding etc. as a compromise.

Little does he know, you crushed the pills inside 🤫 In short, you watch over Joker like a hawk.

He orders you to stay away stating, 'he doesn't want his Bunny getting sick' but in the same breath, he makes you cuddle with him on the couch. J falls asleep using you as his personal teddy bear and you are totally okay with that.

Anything to help him sleep and recover faster.

The worst phase comes along when you wrestle out of Joker’s arms to grab the thermometer, and his voice stops you in your tracks.

"Ma? Is... is that you?"

Joker is delirious and you shouldn't take advantage of him when he's so out of it but what's the harm in feeding into his delulu? Its not like he'll remember anyway..

You weakly smile and reply. "Hush baby, I'll be right back."

J begins another coughing fit and has air remaining to steal yours with a single sentence. "No, I don't wanna be alone."

He sounds so weak, like a child confessing their worst fears to an adult. What kind of person can ignore a plea like that? You can't that’s for sure.

You’ll check his temperature later. Right now, Joker needs you. You crawl back into Joker's arms and he immediately wraps them around you.

"Don't... l-leave." His voice is breaking your heart, he sounds so scared!

You smooth J’s hair away to cup his face. You washed away all the harsh makeup and sweat days ago so you’re free to admire his natural beauty in all its glory.

Even fighting a cold, he's so handsome looking up at you with those glassy eyes of his. You doubt he recognizes you right now. Only you are allowed to see Joker so vulnerable.

Only you can take care of him and it’s an honor you’ll never take for granted.

"I’m not going anywhere." You promise.

[clown-femme]

okay my work goal is to clear out my editing backlog - not only will this get me caught up with my quota but also i won't get yelled at for having a backlog. i'm going to do this author by author to make the chunks seem smaller and i'm going to start with the most annoying to edit and then work up to the easiest. i am making this a list on tumblr so i can cross it off. (author names censored obv)

A's articles (5 of them. Not very many but he sends me AI slop consistently and is resistant to the feedback I give him to stop doing that or at LEAST to mask it better. Tedious to edit because i have to do the research for him.)

J's articles. ( 4 articles, he didn't used to be so bad but I think he's gotten a little lazy recently, might send a few back for rewrites we'll see.) I edited 2 and sent back 2.

V's articles (6 articles. V's hit or miss, she has a lot of grammar mistakes and tends to not be as detailed as I like, but she's improving.)

P's articles (2 articles, I never have much of an issue with hers besides that she doesn't include enough items in listicles)

S's articles (4 articles. Usually pretty easy mode.)

i'm gonna pee + make myself tea and maybe a breakfast and then begin. go team.

[hjparisian]

need you to fill the void pt. II- harry j potter x reader

link for part I pairing: harry j potter x reader w: angsty, swear words, the tiniest mentions of fucking, some fluff a/n: i did not expect this to be so long, but i hope it's alright

It's been over a month since (Y/N) was last with Harry. After the last time Harry came in begging for comfort, (Y/N) woke to an empty space next to them, Harry no where to be seen. Any hope they had about him staying with them was gone.

(Y/N) tried to put their focus elsewhere, towards school, really anything. It was difficult. Though hope was lost, they couldn't help but think about Harry. He was such a significant part of their life and without him it just felt there was a hole in them. a void only he could fix.

Unfortunately, his presence was back with Ginny Weasley, having seen them together in the Great Hall the following day. There wasn't anything (Y/N) could do, other than try to move on. But could anyone truly move on from "The Boy Who Lived?" Especially when it felt like he was the best thing they ever had?

(Y/N) felt like they were slowly and surely improving despite the occasional thoughts about it. But all that progress came crashing the moment a certain scar faced boy stood right in front of them at the library.

"Hey." The first word Harry has said to them in a while, was 'hey'? (Y/N) did not dare to look up, spitting out the words "What do you want Potter?"

"I- er- just wanted to see how you were." Harry said. (Y/N) stopped writing, suddenly feeling the pent up anger coming out. "You wanna see how I'M doing? After not even talking to me for practically a month?" They spat out. A loud "SHHH" could be heard from Madam Pince, glaring at the two. (Y/N) gave a tight lipped smile, mouthing the words "Sorry" towards her before looking back at Harry. "If that's all you want, you can leave, I'm busy."

"C'mon (Y/N) I just wanted to talk-" They cut him off. "Oh really? seems like you weren't much into talking to me lately." Harry stares at them, "(Y/N)-" "You know what, I'm leaving, I can't concentrate."

(Y/N) gathers their stuff and exits the library, wanting to get away from the boy who hurt them. Harry stands there, longingly gazing at them as they leave.

The next week was an odd one to (Y/N). They kept feeling someone's eyes on them and when they turn to look, the culprit seem to always be Harry, who would look away with a flush on his cheeks from embarrassment of being caught. Then there was Harry walking up to them trying to have a talk, but (Y/N) would always ignore him, walking past him or avoid him by going the opposite direction. Then there was the notes they would find out of no where saying stuff like 'hey i miss you', 'how are you doing', 'can we please talk'. They would either end up in the trash or at the very bottom of (Y/N)'s bag.

(Y/N) sat in their dorm room reading a book until there was knock on their door. Their dorm mates were out and wouldn't come back til the next day since it was the weekend, which left (Y/N) confused on who it could be.

They opened the door to find Harry on the other side. When (Y/N) met Harry's eyes, it looked like they shined a little brighter in that moment. Harry start to speak, "He-" BAM. Slamming the door closed. (Y/N) just stood there.

There was another knock, "(Y/N) please open the door, I just want to talk!" (Y/N) yelled back. "Go away Harry! I don't want to talk!" Harry spoke. "Please (Y/N). I'm not leaving til you let me in to talk to you." "Oh well, that sucks."

They could hear Harry sigh heavily. "(Y/N) I'll blow your door down if you don't open it in three, two, on-" The door opens, revealing an angry (Y/N). "Make it quick," they say. "Let's just get your nonsense over with."

Harry walks inside, (Y/N) closing the door behind him. He takes a second to look at the room he hasn't stepped into since over a month ago. His eyes land on (Y/N), who crosses their arms before opening their mouth, "Well? What do you want?"

He felt the nerves crawl inside him. "Well um. I just wanted to say that, I-I really miss you (Y/N). And I'm sorry." He stares at them, scared for their reaction, which in all honesty he should be.

(Y/N) felt themselves fuming. "That's it? That's all you wanted to say?" Merlin forbid they get a heartfelt apology. "What now? I accept your apology, we fuck, and then you go back to Ginny and ignore me again?" (Y/N) screams.

Harry opens his mouth to say something but (Y/N) cuts him off. "You know Harry, I'm sick and tired of this." He sees the tears flowing from (Y/N)'s eyes as they scream. "I'm so tired of being the other woman. I love you Harry. Do you know how much it hurts seeing you with Cho and Ginny? To see that the one I love doesn't love me back? It hurts Harry! I hate how you make me feel."

"I'm done Harry! I'm tired of the pain. Just go back and fuck Ginny and leave me alone!" (Y/N) sobs heavily and tries pushing Harry to the doors, overwhelmed with their emotions.

"(Y/N), (Y/N) stop! I cut it off with Ginny!" Harry tells them, lightly grabbing their arms. (Y/N) stops and stares at him.

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?" They ask, not completely trusting Harry.

Harry talks, "I cut it off a week after we last got together. You can ask Hermione, she knows. Have you ever seen me and Ginny together within the past couple weeks?"

(Y/N) takes a second to think. The only time they saw Harry and Ginny together was after they last had sex. They never really saw them together after that. (Y/N) shakes their head no.

"See? (Y/N), I truly love you, I do. I really am sorry that I hurt you," Harry says. "I just never realized it til just recently and I didn't think you'd feel the same. Do you think you could give me and chance and let me make it up to you?"

(Y/N) wasn't sure how to feel. They did feel happy that Harry likes them, but he still hurt them, even if it was unintentionally.

"I don't know Harry, it still hurts that you'd always go back to someone else when we were done. And you'd never stay the night with me. How can I be so sure you won't leave me again?"

Harry grabs their hands, holding them gently, and looks at them. "(Y/N), I promise that I'll never leave you. I never want to be the one that hurts your heart again. I'll do anything for you. I would even do your potions homework for you."

They chuckled. "No offense, you're absolute rubbish at potions." Harry laughs as well. "Well I'd do anything to make sure it would come out better than my homework."

They both laughed for a bit before making eye contact with each other. (Y/N) could see how vibrant Harry's eyes were. They were as green as the forests. They could rival emeralds (though (Y/N) would much rather have Harry than the emeralds). Harry saw how beautiful (Y/N)'s eyes were too. Sparkling from the tears they let out a few moments ago. They were like the stars in the night sky. He could get lost in them forever.

Harry started to lean forward, closing his eyes. (Y/N) followed suit. Harry's hands moving to (Y/N)'s waist while their hands went to his shoulders. Their lips met. This kiss felt much different than the ones they had before. It felt more loving. Caring. It felt soft. It was better than any other kiss they had. Cause it was out of love rather than lust.

The two left each other's lips, taking a moment to admire each other before Harry spoke. "Does this mean you'll give me a chance?" He smiles hopefully.

(Y/N) nods. "Yes." Harry let out a grin and hugged them. "I swear on my life I won't hurt you again."

He lets go. "I should probably go. It's getting late and I don't really need another detention from Filch." He turns to go before (Y/N) grabs his wrist.

"Wait Harry. Do you think you could stay the night? So you don't have to risk being caught by Filch." They shyly asked. "My dorm mates will be gone for the night and they probably wouldn't mind anyway. I have some of your clothes here too so you don't have to fall asleep in what you're wearing."

"I'd like that," Harry says with a smile.

The two got ready for bed, slipping under the covers of (Y/N)'s bed. Harry holds them in his arms while they laid on his chest. Feeling at home with each other. The void in each other's hearts was now filled with their love.

Harry looks at (Y/N), admiring them. "I love you."

(Y/N) mumbles, "I love you too, Harry," before drifting off to sleep with their lover.

[jrow]

Surprise

Sherlock shoves his hands in his pockets. His leather gloves may be stylish, but they are doing nothing to protect his fingers from the January chill. He quickens his pace, pushing past a few infuriatingly slow pedestrians before he finally makes it to the tube station. But getting inside doesn’t improve his mood in the slightest. It’s loud and stifling and Sherlock finds himself regretting even getting out of bed this morning.

 He could just turn around and go home. He doesn’t have to pick up Rosie at school today. He could text John and say something came up and it would be fine. Sure, Sherlock usually picks up Rosie on Tuesdays, but John has the day off since he had to cover that shift unexpectedly last Saturday. John could easily get his daughter and Sherlock could go home and do some experiments. Or just crawl back into bed away from everything and everyone.

It's been a terrible day all around, although Sherlock isn’t exactly sure why. He’s been in a mood since he got up this morning, from the moment he checked his mobile and saw that he didn’t have any messages from John. Sherlock hadn’t assumed John would spend the whole day with him, but he thought he’d at least get a message.

Sherlock feels his mobile vibrating and pulls it out immediately.

I’ll collect Rosie today. Thx. J

“Fine,” Sherlock says out loud, shoving his mobile back into his pocket with far more force then necessary. He scowls and turns around to head to the exit. Apparently he’ll be going home after all.

 XXXXXXX

“Sherlock, is that you?” Mrs. Hudson asks, popping her head out of the door to 221A. Sherlock briefly considers ducking outside again with some excuse about why he can’t chat, but it’s started raining and he’s already taken off his coat. Hopefully Mrs. Hudson will just say hi and then let him be. He’s not sure he can handle his landlord’s insistent blabbering.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Hudson,” Sherlock says, through gritted teeth as he makes his way towards the stairs. “If you’ll excuse me, I really have to—”

“I was hoping you could help me with a lightbulb, luv,” Mrs. Hudson interrupts, opening her door wide. “Won’t take a tick. I’d do it myself, but my hip is acting up. Just in here.”

Sherlock sighs and follows her in. It’s not like he has anything better to do. And besides, how long could changing a lightbulb really take?

XXXXXXX

Changing the lightbulb is followed by replacing the batteries in the smoke detectors, which is followed by fixing a cabinet door, which is followed by moving the fridge to see if Mrs. Hudson’s bracelet fell behind (it didn’t). Sherlock doesn’t emerge from her flat until more than an hour after entering, mood soured even further. Plus, now he’s hungry as Mrs. Hudson didn’t even bother to offer him a single biscuit.

Sherlock slowly climbs the stairs to his flat and finally acknowledges the infuriating truth. He feels sorry for himself. Like a mere mortal. He’s received a single paltry text from John today and all it did was take away the one thing he was actually looking forward to (seeing Rosie).

As if to mock him, his mobile chooses that moment to moan, indicating the annual text from The Woman. He steadfastly ignores it and pulls open his front door. God, Sherlock hates his birthday.

“Surprise!” Rosie yells, reaching out to hug his legs. She must have been standing right behind the door waiting for him. “Happy birthday, Lock!” She lets go and points towards the sitting room. “Daddy picked me up early and we decorated!”

Sherlock can’t stop the growing smile as he takes in the space in front of him. The sitting room is filled with about a dozen helium-filled balloons (each with a face drawn on), several streamers dangle from the mantle, and at least 20 homemade snowflakes (at least he thinks that’s what they are) hang from the ceiling. And in the middle of it all stands a sheepish looking John Watson, holding a chocolate cake (also clearly homemade).

“Happy birthday, Sherlock,” John says quietly, a faint pink appearing on his cheeks. He’s wearing his best jeans and shoes, along with his only decent jumper. He looks incredible and Sherlock allows let’s himself stare. Although John looks embarrassed (and maybe a touch nervous?), he holds Sherlock’s gaze and, for a moment, Sherlock forgets to breathe.

He’s brought back to reality by Rosie, pulling him into the sitting room. “Cake!” she yells, happily. “Daddy says we can have cake before dinner!”

“That’s right, Rosie,” John says, bringing the cake to the kitchen. “It’s a special occasion. Worthy of celebration.” He puts the cake down on the table. “I hope,” he adds, in a whisper. It’s quiet enough that Sherlock is fairly certain he wasn’t supposed to hear.

The cake is delicious, the company is fantastic, and Sherlock has already decided it’s his best birthday ever by the time Mrs. Hudson appears in the doorway an hour later.

“You boys ready?” she asks.

John grabs the back of his neck and clears his throat. “Yeah, yeah, thanks.” He directs his attention to Rosie, who is currently making even more snowflakes (and getting little bits of paper everywhere). “Rosie, be good for Mrs. Hudson, okay? We’ll be home before bedtime.”

“’Course!” she says, before sticking her tongue outside the side of her mouth and continuing to work on her latest masterpiece.

“We’ll be fine,” Mrs. Hudson says, coming in and sitting at the table. “I’ve already ordered her pizza. Now go.”

John nods and rises from the table before pulling Sherlock up too. “Come on,” he says. Now John is definitely nervous. Why?

Sherlock furrows his brow and follows John downstairs. “We are going out to dinner?” he asks (stupidly), as John pulls on his coat.

“Yeah,” John says, grabbing the back of his neck again. “Angelo’s.” He looks up and gives Sherlock a soft smile. “Happy birthday.”

“Angelo loves Rosie, why isn’t she coming?” Sherlock asks, taking his coat off the hook.

John doesn’t answer, instead asking a question of his own. “You were surprised by the decorations, weren’t you? And it was a good surprise?”

Sherlock tilts his head to the side and then nods, slowly.

“Good,” John says, before turning and opening the door. He squares his shoulders and turns back towards Sherlock. “I hope it’s not the only good surprise today.” He reaches out and grabs Sherlock’s hand, bringing it to his lips and giving it a gentle kiss.

Once again, Sherlock forgets to breathe.

“Come on,” John says, tugging on Sherlock’s hand but not letting go. “We have a reservation and … and there’s something I have to tell you. Something I have to ask you.”

 ....

Written for the prompt “Surprise” (thank you @calaisreno!) I had no idea where to end this one, but I have run out of time so it ends here. Apologies for the typos that I am sure exist, I didn’t get a chance to proof. I’ll tag @raina-at since she’s been a rockstar at completing all of these and a few other writers who might be interested @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @keirgreeneyes @lololollywrites @aquilea-of-the-lonely-mountain

[xoxoxoz]

g!p, dom jihyun x fem!reader ? pls 🫡

📝: You and Jihyun’s serious rivalry continued to grow in R U Next. As pissed off as she is, Jihyun doesn’t appreciate your flirtatious personality around the other contestants, so she decided to take matters into her own hands

⚠️: g!p Jihyun, enemies to lovers, R U Next au, rough sex, jealousy, degradation

Your morning was going well at first with Jiwoo making you a delicious breakfast and having enough time to do your own makeup and hair. But once you stepped foot into the rehearsal studio, you made eye contact with Jihyun.

Both of you rolled your eyes at the same time, making Jeongeun giggle.

“You two are never gonna get along”

You crossed your arms at her words. “Well she always wants to act like some stuck up bitch all the time”

Jihyun’s eye twitched as she took big strides to where you and Jeongeun stood. Her height towered over your smaller frame but there was no way you were gonna let it intimidate you.

“Watch your mouth, midget”

You were hit with her strong floral perfume and you almost fumbled with your response. “And what are you gonna do if I don’t?”

“You’re lucky there’s cameras around otherwise I would’ve thrown you into a wall”

Your heart started to race from how deep her voice has gotten and her face was so close that one push could make your lips touch. It was odd for you to even consider kissing your stupid rival.

“Uhhh I’m just gonna leave” Jeongeun whispered and ran off to Jeemin for some peace.

Seeing that no one was nearby, you inched your lips close to Jihyun’s ear and smirked. “Who said I wouldn’t enjoy being thrown into a wall? Not the first time it’s happened here”

You pulled back and enjoyed how Jihyun gulped her nerves away but with her stubborn self, she kept her chin up. “Of course you’d like that. Always slutting around when you should be improving those vocals”

Your smirk never faltered, but instead, grew wider. “Oh well that’s the good thing about it. Chanelle always makes sure I’m getting my vocal training. She’s just that good”

Jihyun clenched her jaw at a mix of jealousy and anger.

You noticed it and tilted your head mockingly to the side. “What’s wrong Jihyun? Jealous that I won’t let you shove your cock in me?”

“As if I’d dick down some whore”

You stepped closer and teasingly rubbed her bulge through her sweatpants. Even when soft, she feels huge but you weren’t gonna admit that.

“I don’t like small dicks anyways”

She grabbed your wrist. “You wouldn’t be saying that once I have you begging on your knees, Y/n”

“Try me, Choi” You scoffed and walked away to where Chanelle and Jiwoo were talking.

Jihyun released the breath she held in and watched your walking figure, her eyes shamelessly moving down to your plump ass. She pulled down her sweatshirt to cover her growing boner.

“Not now, please” she whispered to herself.

After two hours of learning choreography, the dance instructor clasped her hands. “Great work everyone! Let’s have an hour break and continue where we left off!”

All girls cheered and ran to their bags for some water. As the instructor left the room to eat, Jiwoo played some music to keep the energetic atmosphere and some of the contestants ditched their bottles to vibe.

Jihyun sat down on the floor and leaned back with her palms. “Hey, we should be resting. Not messing around”

But her words were ignored.

And she got angrier when she saw you grinding your ass into Chanelle’s front, all while you seductively stared into Jihyun’s eyes. The taller girl was not having it.

She stood up and grabbed your arm with a tight grip. “Sorry, need to talk to Y/n privately” Jihyun said through gritted teeth and forcefully dragged you out the room.

You thought she’d bring you to an empty studio but she took the time to walk you back to the dorms and push you inside before slamming the door shut.

“What’s your problem?!” You yelled but Jihyun pinned you against the wall by your neck.

You gasped and stared into the taller’s dark eyes. ���J-Jihyun”

“Are you trying to get us in trouble? Wasting time in practice by fucking grinding all over Chanelle? Do you want dick that bad?”

“Let go of me!”

“You feel proud of acting like a slut even when you’re mic’d up and the cameras are rolling. I might as well have fucked you in front of everyone” she spat and moved her hands down to your waist, pushing your fronts together.

You gritted your teeth.

“Just say you’re jealous, Jihyun”

“And what if I am? I’m gonna destroy the fuck out of you and you’ll be thinking of me instead of Chanelle”

You whimpered as Jihyun attached her lips to your neck, kissing the area roughly and leaving a few purple marks before looking deep into your eyes again.

Your gaze flickered down to her lips. “J-Jihyun”

She smirked when your arms went around her neck.

“Fuck me, Jihyunie”

She aggressively pushed her mouth against yours, desperately wrestling your tongue and removing your shirt, same with your bra.

Jihyun pulled away and watched your hands fiddle with the end of her sweater before sliding underneath to feel her abs. No words were exchanged when Jihyun took off her shirt, revealing more of her define muscles and smooth milky skin.

Jihyun then dragged you to one of the beds and made you lie down. Her hands quickly took your pants and pull them off along with your underwear, revealing a shiny coat of wetness between your legs.

The taller went on top of you and pecked your lips. “You’re gonna watch me eat your pussy and don’t you dare take your eyes off me, got it?”

You gulped and nodded, silently watching Jihyun trail her kisses from your breasts to your flat stomach and finally down to where you needed her the most. She spread your legs wider and smiled.

“Gonna eat you so fucking good, Princess”

You let out a gasp when you felt her tongue push inside your needy cunt, pushing your legs further apart even when you wanted to close them around her head so badly.

“For a whore, you taste good” she panted and dove back into eating you out.

“Oh my god Jihyun!”

Jihyun started palming her boner from your lewd noises. “Mmm”

Just when you thought you were getting your quick release, the taller girl pulled her tongue away with a teasing smirk. The sight of her pretty lips glistening with your juice made you whine.

“No no no why did you stop?”

“Prepping you” she shrugged, going into the process of untying the strings of her sweatpants.

“Fuck your prepping! The others will probably check on us soon so it’s either you shove that cock in me and make me cum or I’ll fuck myself in front of you!”

Jihyun chuckled as she was finally naked. “Maybe if you were a bit more patient, you’d let me get to that part”

“You know what? Let’s go back and I’ll get myself off later. You’re fucking annoying” You hissed and made a move to stand up but Jihyun held your neck and forced you back.

“You’re not going anywhere until I’ve filled you up. I’m finishing what you started, Princess”

Jihyun went on to kiss your lips softly, using it as a distraction just so she could plunge herself deep inside your entrance. Your back arched and you wrapped your hands around the girl’s back.

“Fuck!”

“Shit, you’re tighter than I expected”

“I-It hurts” You squealed, letting the tears fall from the sudden intrusion to your pussy.

Jihyun removed her hand from your neck to wipe your tears and nuzzled her nose to the side of your face. “Shhh give it a moment”

Your body shuddered at Jihyun’s slow movements. She may have been a dickhead to you but she was sweet enough to let you get used to the feeling.

“Want me to move faster?”

“Please”

You bit back a scream at Jihyun’s change of pace, going from gentle pushes to faster ones. She groaned into your neck and hooked her hands under your knees to pull you closer. “You don’t understand how much I wanted you, Princess”

The sudden confession got you breathless. “Jihyunnie”

“I fucking hate you, you know that Y/n?”

It was hard focusing on the conversation she was starting if it wasn’t for her large cock shredding your insides. But you tried your best to answer without moaning

“W-What?”

“I fucking hate how perfect you are and you choose to slut around with everyone besides me” Jihyun panted, forcing herself inside harder. “Am I not good enough for your eyes? Do I have to fuck someone else to get your goddamn attention?”

Your eyes were rolling from the intense pleasure building up inside you, giving you a sign that you were so so close. “J-Jihyunnie!”

“Say you’re sorry”

“I’m sorry Jihyunnie”

“Louder” Jihyun ordered and held your jaw in one hand.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry for being a slut!”

“Say you’re mine”

“I’m yours, Jihyunnie! I’m all yours”

Jihyun was grunting like a mad dog, knowing she was close to cumming inside you. “That’s right baby. You’re all mine. Not Chanelle’s. Not anyone’s. This pussy belongs to me”

“I-I’m cumming!”

“Fuck yes, cum baby. Cum all over me”

Jihyun’s hands grabbed yours and pushed them against the sheets, making the bed rock from her aggressive pounding. “Fuck Y/n, gonna fill you up so good”

“Please Jihyunnie. Cum with me!”

She bit down your neck and tensed her body, emptying her load inside your abused cunt as you shook beneath her. She laid on top of you out of exhaustion.

Your fingers immediately moved to brush through her black hair. “Thank you”

Jihyun pulled out and threw the covers over your naked bodies. “Are you okay?”

“More than okay. Don’t worry” you smiled as Jihyun rested her cheek against the valley between your breasts.

“You’re not gonna go back to Chanelle, are you?” She asked in a sulking tone and traced circles on your skin.

“I’ll stop going to Chanelle once you’ve finally asked me out on a date, Choi Jihyun”

“Do you like Chanelle?”

“God, what’s with the interrogation? You were rearranging my guts a few seconds ago” you laughed but Jihyun pouted more.

“Answer my question”

“No I don’t like Chanelle. We’re friends who help each other to relieve stress. She likes Moka by the way”

“Then I’ll take you out on so many dates as long as you stay with me. Only me, yeah?”

“Only you, Jihyun”

Jihyun sat up to lean her back against the headboard, pulling you into her lap. “Sorry for the fights we’ve had through this show. I really like you Y/n, I just didn’t know how to act”

“I’m sorry too. Let’s put that behind us now, okay? We can start over”

“That sounds good” she hugged your waist and kissed your lips.

You mentally rolled your eyes at the sound of your phone ringing. Jihyun paused the kiss to reach down and grab your device from your pants. With a frustrated sigh, you pressed the green button and held the phone against your ear.

“What do you want Yunah?!”

“Where the hell are you and Jihyun?! The staff are getting worried!”

“I’m…talking with her”

“For this long?! Jiwoo Unnie thinks you’re both slacking off!”

You were about to bite back but Jihyun’s lips moving under your jaw made it impossible to form sentences in your head. “U-Um”

“Hello?! Did you even understand everything I’ve said?!”

“I did!”

“Did you and Jihyun fight again? I swear to god, you two need to pull yourselves together”

Jihyun moved her lips away from your skin and looked up into your eyes with a bright smile. “I love you” She whispered.

“We’ll be fine sooner or later. Gotta go! Tell the staff we’ll be there in a few minutes. Just gotta sort something out! BYE!”

“Y/n—“

You ended the call and chucked your phone aside. “We need to go back, Jihyun”

“Alright. Can you walk?”

“Probably not but it’s fine” you kissed her cheek.

“I don’t mind carrying you back” Jihyun offered.

You shook your head. “You worry too much”

[nogenderbee]

may i request the letters I, J and M from the yandere alphabet, for yandere ena and mafuyu? have fun writing!

Of course you can! And I did had fun writing! Maybe even a bit too much... but well I just hope you enjoy this as much as I did! <3

Mafuyu, Ena I, J, M yandere alphabet

TW: unhealthy obsession, argument, death, suicide, abuse, classic yandere stuff

TagList: @bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow @qxmmi @modyuki @m3g-luka

⊱ Improve = Will they be willing to recover from this psychotic state for their lover?

Mafuyu will repeat that what she's doing is simply showing you how much she loves you and it won't be easy to convince her to go to doctor unless you play it off with "doing it for you"! But you better be patient and pick right words because it's not gonna be easy to convince her! But it's not impossible either!

And when she does go there, she'll get locked in mental hospital quicker... sure you get your break but Mafuyu is good at pretending so she goes out rather fastly! Of course still a lot time passes... but when she's back she'll be mad at you, she'll think that you wanted to lock her away from you even if you payed her visits, but if you payed visits, she won't be this mad. But after that, she absolutely refuses to continue her healing, especially that she sees nothing wrong with her behavor.

"Y/N... did you do it to take a break from me? You know I respect privacy and I could give it to you if you'd ask... there was no need to lock me."

⊱ Justification = Why are they acting like that? When did it started?

Mafuyu has that classic yandere troupe... she never felt much emotions but when she met you... she immidietly felt her heart flutter. She knew she want's to feel this more often so she wanted to spend some more time with you but the more time she spent, the more this feeling grew and the more time she wanted to spend with you.

She didn't even noticed when she her feelings started to become a bit... unhealthy... but she ignored them, she thought it was normal as she had no previous experience with emotions.

"There's nothing wrong with how I'm feeling... I remember people saying love changes your mind... it must be simply it."

⊱ Moving on = If you die or escape, will they be able to move on? How easy it'll be for them?

Mafuyu will not be able to move past it. If you died, she's quick to realize she lost you for good... if you simply escaped she'll still look for you but she's also quick to realize there's no going back when she tries everything and looks in all places, including your and your friends houses.

No matter what you did, she wants to be with you, she wants to still watch ove you and the only exit she sees is to follow you in afterlife. So the very night, she'll end her life.

"I... I need to see them again... I need to be with them... no matter in what form..."

⊱ Improve = Will they be willing to recover from this psychotic state for their lover?

Ena will not agree to take specialists help untill she sees how her behavior is affecting you. If you point out how many times she had yelled at you or even hurt you for small things you did that she simply didn't like, that's whe she notices it... But if you happen to yell at her or choose mean words, it won't convince her so act patient, calmly and sweet, and you'll get her!

Once she notices, she'll go to therapist on her own but she'll do whatever is needed to not be locked. She will attend to therapy session for your well being and will try doing her best to recover but if she happens to be locked... first few days she's absolutely furious and most likely even destroys some furniture along the way... she calmls down with time tho. But you better visit her once they allow you for it! She still wants to see you!

She really takes healing seriously so as time passes, she really get's better! There are still signs of her not being fully healthy but she did get on better path!

"I'm doing it for you... I don't want to hurt you so much anymore so... I'll try to recover... but you need to promise me that you'll stay by my side!"

⊱ Justification = Why are they acting like that? When did it started?

At first it was just a simple crush for Ena! But with time... she felt like she needs your attention more often... it began rather casually... she initiated more talks and hangouts with you. But later... she started literally asking for attention from you but her words were rather demanding... And that's when things started to get concerning... she would not let anyone else have more of your attention than she has. She wanted to be your number 1 priority like you were to her! From there on, she was only yearning for more and that's where her yandere behavior REALLY began!

"Hey! Why are you paying attention to them?! I'm right here!!"

⊱ Moving on = If you die or escape, will they be able to move on? How easy it'll be for them?

At first, Ena will be absolutely furious. If you escape, she will not give up so easily and will literally look all over the world for you! If you die, she'll know she has no chance of getting you back... she knows she can't keep the body even if she'd want to so she probably takes some of your belongings and makes a shrine. If you escaped, she does the same but with thinks she managed to get before your disappearence.

She's not the type to just end her life from that loss even if it is tempting... but she decides to stay on this world and cherish every breathshe spent with you when you were still by her side.

"Heh~ I remember when this happened~ this is photo from our first date! I remember every single detail about it~"

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[md-confessions]

So this is in direct response to Red-mage28

The kick being "justified" isn't quite the wording I'd like to use but I couldn't think of a better word

Imagine a scenario in which you are a slave that will literally be killed if they are caught slacking in anyway. James kills a worker drone for getting the table wrong so I can't imagine what he'd do to two idiots just sitting on the floor not doing anything, even if for only a few seconds.

J did the first thing she though of to make sure that didn't happen. That being said, kicking N was most certainly not the best, nor the nicest solution. If I was there, I'd tell J to not fucking kick N and just yell at him to get moving if she didn't feel like being nice. But when at any moment you can be killed for making a mistake, thinking rationally isn't very easy.

as for the Cyn vs Solver thing, Cyn is the Solver. In ep 7 the Solver calls N big brother and is genuine throughout the whole thing. It doesn't seem to be a mocking thing. I don't think we've ever seen the real "Cyn" and whoever the real Cyn is probably never even knew that name.

Also I assume the reason J changes her act as soon as Tessa walks in is because she freaks out seeing a human there and think's they're about to be killed since as soon as she sees the drone behind her she becomes normal old J again. But I can easily see it being your interpretation

Also, J and the others were given the false pretense of killing potentially dangerous rogue AI. You ever seen Terminator? That shit is possibly world ending.

Final point, J insulting N to the point of threatening to kill him. Have you ever had a really annoying and useless co-worker? Well imagine working with one for 20 years with no breaks from them. That's J. And yes, N is actually quite good in combat, but I imagine that's because he's now fighting for something he actually wants to fight. He didn't want to slaughter innocent worker drones but he does want to protect his loved ones.

I apologize for offending you greatly however. I'm well aware of who you are and I really like you as a person. I even admitted J was abusive in my last post so I agree with you on that point, but as someone who was abused when they were young unintentionally I guess I can see where J might be coming from more. As soon as I told the person that their yelling wasn't helping and I was really scared of them, they immediately changed course and I couldn't love them more for it. They made mistakes, and they still do sometimes, but they know it and they apologize for it and make sure I'm alright and we've talked about how to make it better. So I guess that's how I can see J ending up if she actually get's screentime to improve her character.

I hope you have a wonderful week, heck, just a wonderful life in general. I've appreciated your compliments in the past and will continue to support you going forward. Again, I apologize for getting you so riled up. I imagine you might be feeling as stressed as me at this moment.

-- Yours truly, TSM

.

[amidst-wonderland]

final fantasy: rebirth {a mess of emotions, not in chronological order}

this is more story-based, so heads-up spoilers below.

“question. does that make me a dumbass?”

not aerith asking about reno

chadley nearly outing cissnei and cloud getting real confrontational about it.

cloud is so much more conversational in this, i felt in remake he was bordering on joker level’s of player-character. he’s a lot more laidback, which is understandable since he didn’t really know anyone but tifa and midgar’s only like what a week long?

the game now feels like an ensemble piece rather an a cloud simulator.

cloud not realising he’s the one loner friend

americans aren’t the best swearers - put to much emphasis on the swear itself but cloud does it so well.

he’s a prickly, backchatting bitch in this game and i love every single second of it. he’s not mopey, stubborn and grumpy. he’s ‘i’m going to actively make myself your problem if you cross me, so don’t.’

barret immitating yuffie?! or, “oh, wow. tell us more.” it’s giving abridged.

yuffie’s little naruto run!

yuffie and cloud’s growing sibling dynamic is the cutest shit. like, he should be be pissed at her but immediately protected her from the captain.

all i hear is priscilla’s dad’s irish accent from abridged when ever someone says her name or, “mr dolphin, ye daft bastard.”

rufus shinra… the man that you are.

every rude and elena scene, just, yes. her with the ice-lolly, the corneo fight, rude’s pub club?! babysitting palmer. (also, they call it the clean-shaven club when rude literally has a beard).

i genuinely thought we were gonna at least get that iconic reno and rude scene outside of gongaga (and as a long-shot a reunion with cissnei - i stand by the fact tseng absolutely knows where she is.)

that final turks training facility was a bitch to find.

don’t get me wrong, yuffie, barret, tifa and red’s trials were sad but aerith’s absolutely wrecked me. like i’ve got a stuffy nose already and i literally couldn’t breathe with the tears.

same with dyne and barret, like what you mean you want me to fight palmer?! i’m sitting here ugly crying about two men who love their daughter and have been through hell and back.

i’d love to see cissnei and leslie get involved with the wutai turk team-up

as much as i love aerti’s ‘improved over og’ friendship. it’s not passing the bechdel test anytime soon.

fuck queen’s blood.

cloud saying “down boy” sir- THE WHIMPERING!

the kids locking yuffie in with the hooded men on the cruise.

nanaki walking in the cabin on two legs fucking kills me. i also caught barret admiring himself in the mirror.

the fact the name tag is, “???” when we can hear yuffie cheering on cloti.

did they kiss?!

so, we finally see loveless and it was everything i ever wanted. genesis, i’m sorry, you were right.

“death doesn’t suit a turk”

cloud jr is too cute and i love my chocobro protagonists

speaking of, i’m in two heads about ffxv. you can see a lot of the inspiration the team got from that game but i think they left out the one thing that made ffxv perfect, which was the constant chatter during traversal

cloud turning on tifa during the gongaga reactor mission is giving the ffxv: omen trailer

i need a tonberry robot for my desk

jessie’s poster! i really thought she’d be alive with biggs

cloud calling gus a prick is when it clicked for me, like cloud’s got bite

i need esther’s red boots

cid is played by j. michael tatum?! sebastian- france- kyouya-

elena stuck in the heat yelling at rude, omg this is the turk moments i love.

as someone who is scottish, i can’t believe i witnessed cait sith tell cissnei to “wheesht”.

not the biggest fan of cissnei’s new colour scheme. would’ve gone with browns, accented gold buckles and mustard yellow personally

wished they’d’ve put in an turk easter egg in her house.

cosmo canyon’s lantern scene is so pretty.

gold-fucking-saucer. woah

sitting at the water tower with aerith felt wrong, and i know that was intentional.

omfg vincent, why he kinda dressed like gyuvin in en garde?

jesus, roche.

still not keen on seph’s voice - mainly because i don’t like tyler and also zack is better but i’m still not keen

symbiote!peter to “OMG GUYSSS HAIIII” is like fucking whiplash. two minutes ago we were crying over harry, now hotels?!

i knew that’s what marlene saw! and now zack knows! i am not okay!

was low-key waiting on elena throwing the keystone to reno to catch for a grand intro but he kinda just appears, and i loved every second of it.

the way both tifa and aerith have had to stop cloud murdering a turk.

cloud with blood by his own hand on his face is such a chilling image. it’s like seeing someone like superman with it.

avalanche versus reno and rude’s fight was giving advent children, like specifically reno and rude’s fight with loz and kazoo. (which i rewatched recently. rude’s face when reno steps on his glasses is the funniest thing in that film, also i can’t unhear fred from scooby-doo when loz speaks even though i know it’s not frank welker - it’s the dude that plays corneo).

[ashestoshadows]

Reader x Hunter

-------------

When your mother handed you down her Lucario after she got too ill, it was very hesitant… If that was the right word.

It didn't trust you and it didn't listen when you tried to command it… She received this Pokemon from one of her many different adventures and had been with her since her first. So it was no surprise that it didn't listen…

You weren't your mother and apparently her Pokemon also had the special power to "Mega Evolve," or whatever that was until she eventually had to disband it due to moving from the Kalos region where she got the blue jackal.

The jackal refused to stay by your side no matter how hard… Kind of like an overactive child- except this one would send an aura sphere not too far from your head as a warning if you tried to get too close to the male canine.

The Pokemon was very graceful and agile, and it wasn't hard to imagine your mother battling alongside this nearly maxed-out Pokemon who she grew an inseparable bond with.

After your mother passed from her illness at just the age of 36, the Pokemon grew even more untrusting and even more unwilling to cooperate than before and with the death of his original trainer it wasn't hard to imagine why…

The night of your mothers passing was hard on all of her Pokemon and you too… You didn't have much family, and whatever family you did have they were far away in other regions and trying to get to them was expensive so you had to stay with her other Pokemon who were all in mourning.

The red-eyed Pokemon broke out of the house and ran through the town causing you to run after it, still trying to properly wake up while yelling for him to wait. Or at least slow down, but he just ignored your pleas

"Hunter! Come on buddy, wait up!"

It just barely responded with a "Ruff" before it sped off quicker than before leaving you after running a wheezing and gasping mess at the brink of the forests mouth hearing Pokemon waking up and bickering with each other from being woken up by the intruder: your uncooperative Pokemon your mother handed you.

You finally gathered your bearings after getting your breath back and ventured into the forest unaware of the threats. Although, you were warned, but then again,  you are in some way still half asleep so that whole warning thing flew right through the window like common decency for your new Lucario.

You accidentally stepped on a twig alerting some very aggressive Pokemon to wake up and begin charging at you, causing you to screech in fear and nervousness causing you to do a 180 and run back to the opening of the forest; the barely dim lighting of the streetlamps reminding you of safety as your life flashed before your eyes as the birds and likely other creatures swooped and pounced atop you attacking you causing you to squirm and let out noises of pain.

You heard a loud *zwip!* like noise above your head as you got up as you heard the creatures flying off of you as you not only felt your skin bleed but you saw Hunter standing nearby eyeing your injuries an obvious hint of guilt in his eyes, obviously aware of what he just caused.

 "No, no I'm… I-I'm fine don't worry"

Yeah... He wasn't quite believing that even if he didn’t quite trust you. He quickly hooked your arm on his shoulder as he basically carried you out and back home where you promptly passed out from exhaustion when you got close to your street.

---------

Ashes here! I want to try writing more headcanons and that type of ✨ j a z z ✨

So expect some more in the next few weeks as I'm currently in the middle of finishing a Gallade x Reader rn. As, sadly, I haven't received any other requests for anything.

So I'll have to try and do more headcanons and improve my creativity and writing skills as my anxiety and depression have gotten worse. And unrelated to everything but I feel like the whole world has failed me in almost every way.

(Oops! Sorry for the depressing end note but... it's the truth so I might continue my rant at some other point; Hope you're having a jazzy day my peeps)

[hugsandchaos]

Flying Lesson

J carelessly tossed a broken shard of scrap behind her, nearly hitting N in the head with it. The male yelped and flinched away from it, glancing between the shard and J.”If you screw up again, you might as well jump off a bridge.” She said while rolling her eyes. She had just berated him for he asked what exactly he’s done wrong so he could improve, but since there wasn’t actually anything that needed a lot of improvement but his attitude towards his teammates, she decided to make up the excuse that him asking was in itself a stupid decision.

“I’m really sorry, I wo--“N suddenly gasped and smiled widely. Without thinking, he lunged towards J and grabbed her by the shoulders.”J, you’re a genius!!” He exclaimed. Before the confused leader could get a word in, he turned heel and sprinted outside. As what just happened processed in J’s mind, she quickly realized what he might mean by that and sighed.”Great.” She mumbled exasperatedly, turning around to go think of what to do (and definitely not cuddle with V).

If she had watched for just one more second, she would’ve seen N open his wing compartment and take off.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Uzi asked. She took a step closer to the edge of the bridge and immediately broke the one universal rule when it comes to heights; Never look down.

The realization of how high she really was and how easy it would be to slip and fall to her death made her feel like two hands were wrapping around her throat. She gasped and jumped back, but was caught by an arm behind her. Uzi whipped her head to see N giving her that same comforting smile that he gave her during the free fall. She couldn’t quite describe it, but immediately she felt like she was going to be okay, no matter what happens next.”Don’t worry! The snow down below is more than enough to catch your hypothetical fall.” N reassured her.

Uzi took a quick deep breath, then looked back at the edge.“I want to do it, but at the same time... I’m really...” She started trailing off, not exactly wanting to embarrass herself by admitting that she was scared, even though she was really starting to trust N enough to let her guard down. It felt like she was hesitant to trust him, and at the same time, she knew as a fact that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. It was as if trusting him with her life was easier than trusting him with her emotions, and she secretly felt guilty about it.

Or was she not trusting herself not to judge her fears?

“Scared?” N guessed, moving his arm to place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Bite me! I’m not scared!” Uzi snapped. N didn’t jump back or retract his hand, already knowing she just said that as a reaction.“I’m just... Okay, yeah, I’m scared.” She finally confessed, both to N and to herself. N smiled at her and moved in front of her.

“I know. I was really scared my first time, too. And you know I wouldn’t push you into doing something you really don’t want to do.” He started walking backwards, getting closer to the edge with each step. Despite knowing he could fly, Uzi couldn’t help but feel more and more worried with each step.”But you’ll never learn to fly without taking the first leap, and with me as your teacher, you’ll be alright.”

And with the last step, he was falling.

Uzi made a short dash to the ledge and looked down, but instead of seeing the terrifying heights, she saw N. He was now flying in place at least a few meters below with his arms outstretched and an encouraging smile on his face.”I’ll catch you if you fall!” He yelled over the loud wind. Uzi took a deep breath and opened her own wings.”I can’t believe I’m taking a leap of faith like those anime characters.” She mumbled before jumping.

For a second, her mind flashed back to the fall and she screamed. Her wings flew open in attempt to catch herself as she fell fast towards N’s arms, but her wings caught enough wind to slow her descent to somewhat of a stop. She began flapping her wings, which kind of felt like a pair of big, webbed hands with only a few fingers, and soon gained enough altitude to have some small sense of control. She still felt incredibly uneasy and out of control, but the flapping kept her up and she was in the right position.

It was scary, but it was a start.

N glided calmly underneath her with his body upside down and his arms ready to reach out and catch her if needed. Right now, though, it seemed more like something that would be appreciated than necessary.”There we go! You got it!” He cheered. When Uzi felt herself falling a bit, she gasped and began flapping again so she would be brought back to her original height. She kept her gaze on what was in front of her incase something suddenly showed up and tried to calm her racing mind with deep breaths.

Uzi felt a lot like this during the time she wanted to learn to skateboard during her elementary school years.

She was startled when she experienced the feeling of not having both feet on the solid ground and instead standing on something with four wheels near the edges. The way the flimsy board wobbled under her and messed with her balance terrified her. At least she had the floor to jump onto when she had enough. Now, Uzi was putting her faith in her balance again, but this time with a pair of wings and an experienced flyer cheering her on and giving her the encouragement she needed.

Uzi glanced down at N, who gave her a smile and two thumbs up. She was calmer now and smiled a bit, almost shyly.

N flipped back over and flew higher to be more at the same level with her.”You’re doing really great, Uzi!” He cheered. He sounded really excited about her progress already, and Uzi felt her core heat up from his praise.

Sure, it felt good when Thad complimented her and encouraged her- he’s her friend, after all- and Ron’s advice and attention towards her health made her feel seen, but something about hearing it from N was... special.

She felt a sense of pride hearing the support, and that pride turned into determination to keep trying.

Little by little, Uzi began balancing herself more easily and became more confident, but it was starting to become tiring. She had to put a fair bit of strength into her wing beats to keep herself up, and she didn’t exactly have much exercise with them until now. She would need to land in a bit.“Hey, N? How do I land?“ Uzi asked, not really wanting to give away that she was getting tired. He already knew, though. N dipped down and moved underneath her, nudging her abdomen slightly with his head to hopefully hint at what he was doing. Uzi wrapped her arms around N’s shoulders and pulled herself closer so she would be on his shoulders. She couldn’t lay on his back since his wing compartment was there.”Is this good?” N asked. Uzi used both arms and legs to hold on and folded her wings.”Yeah. Yeah, this is good.” She replied, earning a smile from her tall friend.

N slowly began flying higher, lowering the power of his propellers to maintain the steady climb and flapping his metal wings that glistened in the moonlight. Or planet-light. Whatever that ringed object that acted similar to a moon was referred to as.

Uzi has ridden on his shoulders during high-speed flights, but this was much slower. It was a nice and calm pace, and surprisingly just what she needed.

As they ascended to higher altitudes, Uzi could see far and wide across the dense forests surrounding the mines, where the bridge was. The nights were usually plagued with harsh blizzards that could change in barely a second, but there wasn’t a single cloud for miles. The ringed moon in the sky reflected the sunlight, but it was weak enough that N could fly peacefully instead of getting overheated quicker. Still, it’s ethereal white glow dimly lit the forests below and reflected off the snow, making the ground seem brighter than the sky.

Speaking of the sky, it was... beautiful. There was barely any smog before the nuclear winter, as humans had discovered ways to reduce pollution while they work, so any that had been there was probably gone now after two decades. The clear sky gave way to distant galaxies and stars, and it kind of made Uzi realize how big the universe really was. Stars littered space like glitter on a dark sheet of paper and the galaxies kind of looked like giant glowing smoke machines. All those distant exoplanets, all those different ecosystems that are yet to be explored in person, it all made Uzi feel like she could open her wings and fly into unknown space. She wanted to get up close and glide through the drifting stardust.

Of course, that wouldn’t be possible without a legit rocket or something, but even if it was possible, she couldn’t do that until she learned to fly on her own.

She started loosening her grip in her arms and slowly began sitting upright as the fear and anxiety she felt slipped away little by little. She usually sat upright when they flew for fun, so N considered the shift a good sign.

Once they reached a good height, N stopped flapping and simply stayed at that level while still flying over the landscape. It was peaceful.

Up ahead, the first cloud finally appeared over the forest, and it was definitely a storm cloud. By now, though, they would just fly over it with how high up they were, so they weren’t very worried about being knocked out of the sky.

N continued gliding peacefully over the clouds and harsh blizzards below, and the dense forest below was replaced with a sea of clouds. The moon’s light also bounced off the clouds similar to the snow, and oddly made them look like a sort of light blueish color.

After a few more seconds of silence, N finally spoke up.”The cabin’s just up ahead. Do you want to go down there or the colony?” He asked. By now, Uzi was no longer holding on with her arms and just sat on his shoulders. The urge to let herself fall and open her wings to glide over the light blue tinted clouds was growing bigger by the minute.”I want to try again.” She answered, this time sounding a lot more confident.

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready.” N said.

[saragrekey]

little art chat before I go to sleep… this is nothing important just a thought dump/update/blogpost idk

So we’re a little over a week into my junior year of college and as expected! I don’t want to do my schoolwork I just want to draw lol.

When I first started my whole -drawing everyday to improve- thing last summer, I was just drawing pinterest faces, so I’d spend 30 minutes in the morning doing a sketch and that would fill my quota for the day. Now that I’m learning how to draw from imagination, my goals are so much more lofty and I have a lot more to practice. Which is been so fun!

But maybe too fun!

I’m struggling to pull my focus away from drawing. This was already an issue during the summer when I didn’t have many responsibilities, and now I obviously have a lot more on my plate. And I just cannot bring myself to focus on school.

Which is something I’ve struggled with for awhile, I’m just completely burnt out of the cycle of working at maximum capacity and pulling all nighters for an exam or critique over and over again. I’m just very over it, lol, but on the same note, I have such deep rooted anxiety about getting in trouble for not having my work or getting a bad grade. So you can see the predicament I’m in!

Idk. I’m not very smart or gifted when it comes to school but I got good grades in high school without having to study, so I just never figured out how to really learn and study correctly. Every assignment, lesson, exam is just a task to be completed, not building upon a collection of knowledge. Why would I review the course a little bit each day when I can cram it all the night before the exam and get the same grade? /j

A lot of it is of course just skills I gotta develop. I definitely need to improve my discipline and time management.

This was not meant to be about school lol. But all that to say, I just can’t seem to care about my homework, and improving my art is infinitely more important to me. But that’s obviously not how it works. I have that thing where I crave routine but can’t stick to one. I daydream about having a super nice organized routine where I can fit a couple hours of practice here and enough time for homework and maybe a little time for video games every once and awhile. I miss video games.

Hopefully I’ll find my footing as we progress through the semester. If you see me start talking about doing any kind of inktober, yell at me bc I definitely don’t have time for it 😭

I’ve not posted any art in awhile! I have been going through a bit of a rusty patch, kinda from school disrupting my life and also I got sick this weekend so I didn't really draw at all. I think the current stage I'm at is really committing what I've learned this summer to memory, to kinda have this basic style to draw from. Because it's like, I have the knowledge but if I don't reinforce it I will forget lol. My next big focus is I want to improve on expressions and overall adding more character to my sketches. I feel like rn a lot of my drawings just look like dolls.

All this to say, I did not do my accounting homework I drew Amphibia fanart instead lol. Here’s a time skip Marcy doodle for reading. It’s actually a few weeks old but I really like it, I feel like the 3-dimensionality of her face is right.

Ok bye love u have a good day!!

[redkardinal]

An account of my family’s current situation:

This is a very VERY long story, but I feel like I need to share.

Back in the middle of June, I got married to the love of my life. My partner (J) is the most kind, caring, intelligent, and goofy person I have had the pleasure to have a part of my life. Between the two of us we have two amazing children (R) and (K). (Not sure if it’s actually relevant to what I’m about to say, but R is actually a young adult now, but I met R when they were a teenager.) We all moved in together soon after the wedding and are working on building a beautiful future together.

However, J’s family situation has never been the greatest. They were living with their parents, first out of personal necessity, but then it eventually became clear that J’s parents depended on both J and R. This is due to two factors. J’s father, (D) is… how do I describe it… hopelessly addicted to scams. This man has lost everything to his name because he falls for any and every scam put before him, and this lifetime driven by both greed and stupidity has brought us to where we are today…

Let me go over some of the things I’ve experienced since meeting J, R and their family. D had this very nice truck that he’d taken great care of for years. But when a scammer asked him for 6 grand, D claimed he didn’t have the money to give. The scammer (Whom D called his financial advisor) said that he could get that money by selling his truck. It would be okay to sell because he would get that money back and more soon. Heck, he’d have enough to buy ten trucks! So D sold his truck, legitimately, and gave every cent to his “Financial Advisor.” Lo and behold, that money is gone.

A few months later, I get a call from J, telling me that D has been arrested. For what, we don’t know. We kept asking D what had happened, but D refuses to say. So J decides not to bail D out, but somehow, days later, D is back home. We do not know who bailed him out, just that someone did. We don’t discover why he was arrested until months later (This past December to be exact… He was arrested well over a year ago.) Turns out, he was arrested because that truck I mentioned earlier… he tried to sell it twice. Or maybe he sold it and his “financial advisor” also sold it to someone else. We don’t know the whole truth on this still.

I don’t remember if it was the sale of the truck when this happened or sometime before, but J did file for power of attorney. Yet, things did not improve. D continued to somehow lose his money to scam after scam after scam. It is weighing heavily on J, and R is getting angrier and angrier at the situation as D constantly has to come to them for cash to pay bills…. Cash that he ought to have already but, you guessed it, he stupidly lost.

So let me say that D is a very despicable person. He will be so fake kind to people to try and get on their good side, (like he has never been awful to me, but I have seen how he treats J, R and his own wife [G]) There were many times when I was visiting J at home and would hear D across the house, screaming at either R or G over nothing. (I recall one time he straight up screamed at his wife for a ridiculous amount of time because he lost his own cell phone and was blaming it on her….)

On the day J and I got married, I think that may have been the final straw. We got married on the 5 year anniversary of the day we met. It became a tradition of ours to return to the place we met every year, and since we were going to be busy with wedding things the rest of the day, we decided we would meet first thing in the morning. We go, and not ten minutes after we meet up, J gets a call from R. R is crying, with clear distress and I can hear them screaming through J’s car radio, despite being in my own car. I can also hear D pounding on R’s door, yelling incoherently at them. I hear R desperately cry out “LEAVE ME ALONE!” And J and I know what we have to do. We go back to J’s house to rescue R. We get there, and I collect R into my car and J goes to confront D. D, thinking it’s R approaching says with so much venom “What?” But upon seeing J changes his attitude to be all smiley and non-confrontational. He claims that he and R were having a minor disagreement over sodas. J, who is furious at their father, slaps him. D fights back and knocks the lens from J’s glasses. He is promptly disinvited to the wedding and we all leave. J never slept in that house again.

This did not stop D from calling J over and over saying he needed to pay the water bill (which BY THE WAY is under D’s name and therefore his responsibility, but since the dumbass has no money he relies on J to pay it.) Eventually J just pays it and doesn’t tell D until he calls again, to which J answers “I paid it.” And hangs up. We think at this point that we are just going to cut J off and have nothing more to do with him. Boy do I wish that were the case….

So about a month after we get married, it’s J’s birthday and I’m really excited to celebrate with them. But I have to go to work. At lunch time, J calls and I’m looking forward to chatting and wishing a happy birthday, but am met with. “D sold the house.” Fuck. I call my boss and leave work. I hurry to J’s former home and J is there with R and D and the new homeowner who bought the house at a lowball price in order to flip and resell…. Oh, but where’s the money that D got from the house? You already know what I’m going to say. It’s gone. To the pocket of a scammer. I should point out…. We’re 98% certain that it has been the SAME GOD DAMN SCAMMER THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!! From the moment I met D and all the god damn nonsense that he’s put J and R through, it has been the same people he’s been willingly giving all of his money to in the blind, stupid hope that he’s somehow going to become a millionaire. So how is this resolved? Well, the new homeowner, bless his motherfucking soul, is way too kind and allows D and G to basically squat there for a while until they can be placed somewhere.

I’m sure you’re wondering why the hell J hasn’t just turned their back on D and been done with him. This is entirely because of J’s mother G. She is a very kind woman. Probably the main reason why J is as sweet and caring as they are. I love this woman. I am thankful for her kindness. But she comes with her own giant garbage bag of issues…. And I do mean garbage bag almost literally. G is incredibly mentally ill. She is, as far as I know, paranoid schizophrenic, and so lost in a mental fog that she doesn’t even know what year it is. This poor woman has not been to a doctor in over 20 years. This poor woman rarely changes her clothes, wears multiple heavy coats even in the heat of summer, and takes J’s old shoes when he buys new ones, even though J is not her size. Yes, J has bought her new shoes too. This woman also ties random objects, like plastic bags, old underwear, rubber bands, all over her body… making her look twice as big under all the coats. She would “sleep” in a heap on the couch. (I’m not convinced she actually slept.) she would hide garbage in every nook and cranny in the house. She would often urinate on herself because she was possibly too scared to go to the bathroom (that is my guess anyway.) Ands what’s worse, is D treats this poor, clearly unwell woman as a servant. And I don’t know how reliable G’s word is, but she has told me that D has been violent toward her. (Which I can totally see.) But she is constantly worried about D and his wellbeing over her own because in her own head she thinks if D is appeased, it will help everyone else.

So J keeps helping because of G. And I completely understand and support this. We have tried getting APS to help, but they haven’t been the most helpful. They’ve gone out for visits and everything but haven’t really given us much as far as getting them placed anywhere. Plus G won’t leave the house. Meanwhile D is still giving whatever money he’s getting from retirement to his “financial advisor.” This is putting so much stress on J, and I’m doing what I can to keep J’s spirits up. I at least take heart in knowing that J and R no longer live there and that R is not constantly being mentally abused by their grandfather.

So let’s cut to December. J keeps getting calls from their old neighbors that D keeps falling, and screaming his head off for G to pick him up. (I should point out if I’ve forgotten to at this point that D is 74, has Parkinson’s disease and Diabetes… all of which J drives him to all of his appointments and we’ve made detailed schedules on how he is supposed to take his meds) J leaves work to handle the situation and D is taken to the ER. He’s then recommended to have PT to get his strength back, which he can do at a nursing home, which hopefully he can get permanent lodging in. OK! Great! That’s one parent potentially out of the house they no longer own. Except, no nursing home will take him because his insurance is shit and they have nowhere to discharge him to once the PT is done. Great…. So J somehow manages to get him placed somewhere for PT, not sure how, but J now needs to apply for Medicaid for D so he can fucking STAY at the nursing home… otherwise it’s going to be $175 A DAY for D to stay there. But there is a problem that J discovers…

D, on top of all the money he’s given away, has opened up at least 3 (that we know of) bank accounts with other banks, which have all had suspicious deposits sites and withdraws from several different states… none of which D resides in. (Or has ever even been to…) it all screams money laundering to us, and D is just the dumbass caught up in the middle of this. J has been busting their ass trying to get these accounts frozen and/or closed, whilst also trying to get statements from them to file with the Medicaid application which some places are being very difficult about despite J having POA over D. There’s so much fraud going on, it’s going to be difficult to get D approved for Medicaid.

Meanwhile, all this time that D has been gone, G has been alone at that house. And honestly? She seemed to be in much better spirits with D gone. (Go figure…) She even told both me and J that she hopes D never comes back… He won’t G, he won’t… but then again, neither will she. A couple weeks ago, the new house owner finally needed to take possession, so J and I had to figure something out to get G out of the house for good. APS had scheduled a doctor to come visit her in house, but it wasn’t going to be for another month. We needed G out NOW. So what can we do? Well, we convince G that she needs to go to the hospital (which regardless of the rest of the situation, she absolutely does… her leg is red and swollen.) So we manage to get her to the ER. And G is basically a ghost in the system. There is next to nothing on her medical history… DUH! She hasn’t been to a doctor in 20 years! But they manage to schedule a psychiatric evaluation for her the day we bring her and she didn’t want me or J in the room with her because she thought we were lying about things that happened to her in the past. (Well, mostly J… I was basically there to remember dates within the last 5 years…. I can’t account for a full lifetime like J can.) And somehow the hospital told us that this woman doesn’t need assisted living…

That was about two weeks ago at this point… I think their opinion has changed. Because they managed to get all the things she had tied around her body off of her, but when they left her alone and came back, they found that she had gone through the garbage to wrap more things on her body. They managed to cut off the ties she had around her fingers and found that they were wrapped so tight that it cut nearly to the bone on one of her fingers. Yeah… she doesn’t need assisted living….

As of now, she is still in the hospital, no longer in the ER, but she has a constant sitter with her to keep an eye on her. She has everything detached from her body that wasn’t supposed to be there… i think her leg and hand have healed considerably, but there aren’t any current plans for placing her anywhere at the moment I’m not sure what’s going to happen with G at this point. But if she does end up placed somewhere, we want to make sure it is not the same place as D…. So, more Medicaid and more money…

D has also been trying to ask J about our new house… our address, how big it is and stuff like that. J says “Oh, staff knows where we live. And I have a room for myself and RK, a room for R, and a room for K, and we don’t really have room for someone who has lied to me his entire life and squandered away everything he’s ever owned.” A bit harsh? Maybe. But honestly after the life D has put J through…. D deserves it. Plus I will NOT have D in my house. I will not subject my partner to that man again. I will not subject my stepchild to that again, and i will not subject my birth child to that either.

As for J and myself, we will be working with a lawyer to try and get the Medicaid applications squared away. It’s going to be expensive, so we will be taking a rather hefty financial hit…. But hopefully once we have J’s parents squared away, we can finally breathe easy again. We have a hard, stressful time ahead of us… but we’ve been dealing with this stress for a while now.

If you stuck with me to the end of this, thank you. It’s kind of helped to air this out a bit. I do feel like there is an end in sight to all of this, i just hope my family can get there without losing our minds….

Thanks for listening…

~RK

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

we need more vivi hurt/comfort in this fandom. #25 prompt (“I’m going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly.”) from Artie to Vi if you're up for it? 💛🩵

(hurt/comfort dialogue prompts)

(oof god i'm rusty with these characters. let's get into it)

"I'm fine," she says, for what feels like the millionth time.

"Bullshit," is Arthur's response. "I'm down an arm, Vi, not my fucking eyes. And ho- honestly, I wouldn't- wouldn't even need th-those to tell right now." A hand lands on her shoulder, pushing her down further into the chair for emphasis. "One more try. I'm gonna ask you how you are, and it'd be nice if you c-could answer me honestly."

She shoves him off and stands up, already stalking away, ignoring the shooting pain all up through her side when she does. "God, fuck you. Fuck off. This is so stupid. I don't need,"

And then her vision whites out.

---

She blinks herself fuzzily awake into a world much softer than the one she was just in. She's in bed, she registers, or at least a pile of blankets. The pain is gone, but it also feels like everything else isn't quite online, either. There's a vague clicking noise from somewhere to her right.

"...you hovering all the time," she finishes her thought, although it comes out too mumbly to really deliver.

"j'you say sa- s-something?" The clicking noise stops, and an Arthur appears in her field of view. He looks worried. So, like normal.

"Yeah, uh, what? Why am I in bed?"

Now he just looks exasperated, throwing his hand up in annoyance, which is an improvement at least. "You passed out, stupid! And th-th-then when I freak out, out about it you're all like oh no never mind it's whatever fr- from the fucking floor. 'Why am I in bed.' Dumbass."

She only vaguely remembers that, not that she's going to admit it. Well, okay, question answered. She tries to get up, and Arthur immediately shoves her back into the pillow.

"Hey," she protests.

He makes his usual staccato ch-ch-ch disapproval noise, which she usually thinks is cute when it isn't directed at her. "Nope. I j-just got done bandaging you up, you are not getting up. You, you are st-staying right here."

She tries to wrestle him off, but he's annoyingly persistent and her angle's all off. "Okay, I'm patched up! So it's fine! Let me out!"

Whup, and her hand is flat against the bed, and Arthur's hanging out of his chair to get his arm over her chest and pin her down. "No."

Probably she could flip him. Maybe. He'd hit the wall behind her but not, like, hard. She thinks about it. It's really hard to lift even the non-pinned arm. Maybe she couldn't.

"Stop being stupid," she tells him instead, sounding normal and not at all desperate. "This is nothing."

"It is- v-very much- not nothing."

"This can't be enough to stop me. It isn't! I'm better than this!"

"Get up, th-then!" he challenges.

"I'm not a fucking tranq'd animal!"

He yells wordlessly at her, she shouts back, until they're both panting.

She shoves him again, no real force behind it this time. This is such a waste of fucking time, when he damn well knows they never have enough of it. "I need to get up. You need me out there, you know that."

"Go to hell."

Now tears are welling in her eyes. She's screaming at herself, internally, but for some stupid reason it's not translating into more strength. "We're wasting time, here. I'm ready to go, I can move, I can work. Let me up."

He flops over, into a less aggressive pin, but not actually a less effective one. Their faces are almost touching, which was maybe the idea. "One more try," he says, again.

His damn stubbornness is another thing that she likes more when it isn't being used on her. This is not a fight she is going to win.

"If I fall asleep," she says reluctantly, "and you're not there when I wake up, I'm going to fucking kill you."

That gets a laugh out of him. "M'not going anywhere, Vi."