#ivf full form

[fertilitytreatment001]

What is IVF and how is it done?

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a process of assisted reproduction where an egg is fertilized with sperm in a laboratory dish. The fertilized egg (embryo) is then transferred to the woman's uterus, where it can implant and grow into a baby.

IVF is a complex process that involves many steps, including:

Stimulating the ovaries: The woman takes fertility medications to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple eggs.

Egg retrieval: The eggs are retrieved from the woman's ovaries using a needle and ultrasound guidance.

Fertilization: The eggs are fertilized with sperm in a laboratory dish.

Embryo culture: The fertilized eggs are cultured in a laboratory for several days.

Embryo transfer: The best-quality embryos are transferred to the woman's uterus.

The success rate of IVF treatment varies depending on the woman's age and other factors. The average success rate for women under age 35 is about 40%.

IVF is a safe procedure, but it does have some risks, including:

Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome: This is a rare but serious condition that can occur when the ovaries are overstimulated by fertility medications.

Multiple pregnancy: Because multiple embryos are often transferred to the uterus, there is an increased risk of having twins, triplets, or more.

Ectopic pregnancy: This is a serious condition that occurs when a fertilized egg implants outside the uterus.

IVF is a major decision, and it is important to talk to your fertility doctor about the risks and benefits before deciding if it is right for you.

[yashodaivffertilitycentre]

विस्तार में जानिये आईवीएफ(IVF) और IVF उपचार, लागत, प्रक्रिया, सफलता दर

हाल के वर्षों में, आईवीएफ (इन विट्रो फर्टिलाइजेशन) ने भारत में लोकप्रियता हासिल की है, अगर प्राकृतिक गर्भधारण संभव नहीं है तो कई जोड़े इसे चुनते हैं। यदि आप गर्भधारण के बारे में अधिक जानने में रुचि रखते हैं, तो आप "गर्भधारण का हिंदी में अर्थ"(Conceive Meaning In Hindi.)  पर हमारा ब्लॉग पोस्ट देख सकते हैं। इसके अतिरिक्त, यदि आप आईवीएफ और गर्भधारण में मदद करने की इसकी क्षमता के बारे में उत्सुक हैं, तो पढ़ना जारी रखें। आईवीएफ, जिसे "टेस्ट ट्यूब बेबी (test tube baby" treatment)" उपचार के रूप में भी जाना जाता है, में शरीर के बाहर अंडे और शुक्राणु को मिलाकर एक भ्रूण बनाया जाता है, जिसे बाद में गर्भाशय में प्रत्यारोपित किया जाता है। यह उन जोड़ों के लिए एक लोकप्रिय विकल्प है जो बांझपन की समस्या का सामना कर रहे हैं।

आईवीएफ क्या है? What is IVF?

आईवीएफ(IVF), या इन विट्रो फर्टिलाइजेशन (In Vitro Fertilization), उन जोड़ों के लिए एक सामान्य उपचार है जो स्वाभाविक रूप से बच्चे पैदा नहीं कर सकते हैं। सबसे पहले, एक भ्रूण बनाने के लिए एक महिला के अंडे और एक पुरुष के शुक्राणु को एक प्रयोगशाला में मिलाया जाता है। फिर, भ्रूण को महिला के गर्भ में रख दिया जाता है। यदि आप बच्चा पैदा करने के लिए संघर्ष कर रहे हैं, तो आईवीएफ आपके लिए एक विकल्प हो सकता है। यह व्यापक रूप से उपलब्ध है, और ऐसे कई डॉक्टर हैं जो मदद कर सकते हैं। साथ ही, लागत बहुत अधिक नहीं है, इसलिए इस पर विचार करना ज़रूरी है। बस याद रखें, आईवीएफ जटिल हो सकता है, और प्रक्रिया शुरू करने से पहले आपको कुछ परीक्षण करवाने होंगे। लेकिन सही सहयोग के साथ, कई जोड़ों को आईवीएफ में सफलता मिलती है। यदि आप नवी मुंबई में हैं, तो आप यशोदा आईवीएफ सेंटर (Yashoda IVF Centre)में आईवीएफ उपचार का पता लगा सकते हैं। वे आईवीएफ प्रक्रिया के दौरान विशेषज्ञ देखभाल और मार्गदर्शन प्रदान करते हैं।

आईवीएफ पर किसे विचार करना चाहिए? Who Should Consider IVF?

कई महिलाएं प्राकृतिक रूप से गर्भधारण करने में असफल हो जाती हैं। इसलिए उन्हें आईवीएफ के विकल्प पर विचार करना चाहिए। महिलाएं आईवीएफ उपचार करा सकती हैं। हालाँकि, आईवीएफ से कौन लाभान्वित हो सकता है, इसके बारे में कोई सख्त नियम नहीं हैं। प्रत्येक व्यक्ति की परिस्थितियाँ और स्थितियाँ काफी भिन्न होंगी। नवी मुंबई में सर्वश्रेष्ठ आईवीएफ उपचार केंद्र (best IVF treatment center in Navi Mumbai) तक पहुंचने की सलाह दी जाती है। आपको एक डॉक्टर से परामर्श लेना चाहिए जो आपकी सहायता कर सके। यदि आप निम्नलिखित मानदंडों को पूरा करते हैं तो आप IVF पर विचार कर सकते हैं:

• आप अंतर्गर्भाशयी गर्भाधान में असफल रहे हैं।

• आप एंडोमेट्रियोसिस से पीड़ित हैं।

• आपकी उम्र अधिक है.

• आपका डिम्बग्रंथि रिजर्व कम है।

• आपको आनुवंशिक विकार हैं और आप इन्हें अपने बच्चे को नहीं देना चाहते।

• आपकी फैलोपियन ट्यूब क्षतिग्रस्त हो गई हैं।

आपको या आपके साथी को प्रजनन संबंधी समस्याएं हैं। उपरोक्त स्थितियों का सामना करने वाली महिलाएं या जोड़े आईवीएफ को एक विकल्प के रूप में मान सकते हैं। अनुशंसित उपचार विकल्प चुनने की अनुशंसा की जाती है। यदि आपको लगता है कि बच्चों के बिना जीवन अधूरा है, तो आपको आईवीएफ पर विचार करना चाहिए। ऐसी स्थितियां हैं जहां आप अस्पष्टीकृत बांझपन का अनुभव करेंगे। इसलिए, यदि आप अनिश्चित हैं, तो आपको उचित प्रजनन उपचार चुनने पर विचार करना चाहिए।

आईवीएफ के लिए आयु सीमा क्या है? What is the Age Limit for IVF?

जब आईवीएफ की बात आती है, तो आपको यह जानना होगा कि कोई आयु सीमा है या नहीं। अगर आप आईवीएफ कराना चाहते हैं तो आपकी एक निश्चित उम्र होनी चाहिए। हालाँकि, आईवीएफ की उम्र और सफलता दर में गहरा संबंध है। 35 वर्ष से कम उम्र की महिलाओं में आईवीएफ की सफलता दर अधिक होने की संभावना है। इसका मुख्य कारण यह है कि 35 वर्ष की आयु के बाद जीवन की मात्रा और गुणवत्ता कम हो जाती है। इसलिए, गर्भधारण करना मुश्किल होगा। यदि आप 35 वर्ष की आयु के बाद गर्भधारण करती हैं, तो भी गर्भपात की दर थोड़ी अधिक होगी। 40 की उम्र के अंत में महिलाओं को IVF पर विचार करना चाहिए। इसके अलावा, वे डोनर अंडे का विकल्प भी चुन सकते हैं। हालाँकि, परामर्श विकल्प चुनने की सलाह दी जाती है।

आईवीएफ में कितना समय लगता है? How Long Does IVF Take?

आईवीएफ की अवधि पर विचार करना उचित है। डॉक्टरों के अनुसार, आईवीएफ के सामान्य चक्र में लगभग दो से तीन सप्ताह लगते हैं। डायग्नोस्टिक वर्कअप पर भी विचार किया जाएगा। इस दौरान, कई प्रक्रियाएं शुरू की जाएंगी, जैसे डिम्बग्रंथि उत्तेजना, पुनर्प्राप्ति और स्थानांतरण। दो से तीन सप्ताह के बाद, आपको यह सुनिश्चित करने की ज़रूरत है कि आप यह निर्धारित करने के लिए 7-10 दिनों तक प्रतीक्षा करें कि आप गर्भवती हैं या नहीं। इससे आनुवंशिक भ्रूणों की बढ़ी हुई संख्या भी निर्धारित होगी। यदि आप शुरुआती चरण में अच्छी गुणवत्ता वाले अंडे का उत्पादन करते हैं, तो आप उन्हें बाद के चरणों के लिए भी उपयोग कर सकते हैं। आपको डिम्बग्रंथि उत्तेजना और पुनर्प्राप्ति के लिए एक तेज़ और कुशल सत्र चुनने की आवश्यकता है। एक निश्चित अवधि के बाद, आपको पुनर्प्राप्ति चक्र पर अपडेट के लिए एक महीने तक इंतजार करना होगा। हालाँकि, आपके जमे हुए भ्रूण का उपयोग करने के लिए कोई समय प्रतिबंध नहीं है। इस प्रकार के प्रजनन उपचार से गुजरना एक भावनात्मक अनुभव साबित हो सकता है।

आईवीएफ की लागत कितनी है? How Much Does IVF Cost?

आईवीएफ (IVF) की लागत काफी भिन्न होगी। आपको सर्वोत्तम नैतिक प्रथाओं को अपनाने वाले सर्वोत्तम बांझपन उपचार केंद्र से संपर्क करने पर विचार करना चाहिए। लागत समझने के लिए आप क्लिनिक से संपर्क कर सकते हैं। आपके द्वारा चुने गए उपचार के प्रकार के आधार पर आईवीएफ की लागत भी अलग-अलग होगी।

नवी मुंबई, भारत में आईवीएफ की लागत कितनी है? How much IVF Cost in Navi Mumbai, India

भारत में आईवीएफ उपचार की लागत क्लिनिक, आवश्यक उपचार के प्रकार और किसी भी अतिरिक्त प्रक्रिया जैसे विभिन्न कारकों के आधार पर भिन्न हो सकती है। सटीक अनुमान प्राप्त करने के लिए भारत में विभिन्न क्लीनिकों से आईवीएफ लागत के बारे में पूछताछ करना आवश्यक है। नवी मुंबई, भारत में आईवीएफ उपचार की लागत और अन्य क्लीनिकों की तुलना में इसकी तुलना के बारे में अधिक जानने के लिए, आप हमारे ब्लॉग पोस्ट पर जा सकते हैं: "जानें कि यशोदा आईवीएफ के साथ भारत में आईवीएफ उपचार ("Know How much IVF treatment cost In India with Yashoda IVF") की लागत कितनी है"। हम आईवीएफ लागत को प्रभावित करने वाले कारकों पर विस्तृत जानकारी प्रदान करते हैं और आपकी प्रजनन यात्रा के बारे में सूचित निर्णय लेने में अंतर्दृष्टि प्रदान करते हैं।

नवी मुंबई में सर्वश्रेष्ठ आईवीएफ केंद्र Best IVF Centre in Navi Mumbai

आईवीएफ उपचार पर विचार करते समय, नवी मुंबई में सबसे अच्छा आईवीएफ केंद्र (best IVF centre in Navi Mumbai) ढूंढना महत्वपूर्ण है। अनुभवी चिकित्सा पेशेवरों और प्रजनन उपचार में उच्च सफलता दर वाला एक प्रतिष्ठित केंद्र चुनना आवश्यक है। नवी मुंबई में यशोदा आईवीएफ फर्टिलिटी और आईवीएफ सेंटर गुणवत्तापूर्ण प्रजनन उपचार चाहने वाले व्यक्तियों के लिए शीर्ष विकल्पों में से एक है। हालाँकि, गहन शोध करने और सिफारिशें मांगने से आपको सही आ��वीएफ केंद्र ढूंढने में मदद मिल सकती है जो आपकी आवश्यकताओं और आवश्यकताओं को पूरा करता है। नवी मुंबई में यशोदा आईवीएफ फर्टिलिटी और आईवीएफ सेंटर (IVF Centre in Navi Mumbai) इस क्षेत्र के सर्वश्रेष्ठ आईवीएफ केंद्रों में से एक है, जो रोगी के आराम और सफलता पर ध्यान देने के साथ व्यापक प्रजनन सेवाएं प्रदान करता है।

मुंबई में रहने वाले व्यक्तियों के लिए, सर्वोत्तम आईवीएफ केंद्र ढूंढना सर्वोपरि है। मुंबई में कई प्रसिद्ध प्रजनन क्लीनिक हैं जो जोड़ों को माता-पिता बनने के सपने को हासिल करने में मदद करने के लिए अत्याधुनिक सुविधाएं और व्यक्तिगत उपचार योजनाएं प्रदान करते हैं। यशोदा आईवीएफ फर्टिलिटी सेंटर, कामोठे, अलीबाग, वाशी और मनगांव में अपनी शाखाओं के साथ, मुंबई में सबसे अच्छे आईवीएफ केंद्रों में से एक के रूप में मान्यता प्राप्त है, जो दयालु देखभाल और प्रभावी प्रजनन समाधान प्रदान करता है।

निष्कर्ष (Conclusion)

दुनिया भर में बांझपन एक बड़ा मुद्दा है। आईवीएफ (IVF), या इन विट्रो फर्टिलाइजेशन, बांझपन का इलाज करने का अवसर देकर आशा की किरण प्रदान करता है। इस अभूतपूर्व तकनीक में गर्भ के बाहर शुक्राणु के साथ अंडों को निषेचित किया जाता है, जिसे बाद में गर्भाशय में प्रत्���ारोपित किया जाता है, और सफल गर्भावस्था के मामलों में यह एक बच्चे के रूप में विकसित होता है। "टेस्ट ट्यूब बेबी" तकनीक के रूप में अधिक लोकप्रिय, आईवीएफ प्रजनन उपचार में गेम-चेंजर है और जोड़ों को उनके दिल से माता-पिता बनने की इच्छा देता है।

किसी भी सुचारू संचालन के लिए एक उल्लेखनीय और पेशेवर चिकित्सा टीम को चिह्नित करना आवश्यक हो जाता है। विभिन्न आईवीएफ केंद्रों पर शोध करने, समीक्षाओं को पढ़ने और दोस्तों से संदर्भ लेने से जोड़ों को एक ऐसी सुविधा चुनने में मदद मिल सकती है जो उनकी आवश्यकताओं और अपेक्षाओं को सर्वोत्तम रूप से पूरा करेगी। हालाँकि कुछ बाधाएँ हैं; आईवीएफ उन जोड़ों के लिए प्रकाश की किरण प्रदान करता है जो इससे जुड़ी समस्याओं से जूझ रहे हैं जो उन्हें अपने सपनों के परिवार के साथ लंबे भविष्य के लिए आशा और आशावाद देता है।

[allaboutivf]

PCOD: Know About Polycystic Ovarian Disease Problem at Indira IVF

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[redwlf843]

Abby with a breeding kink

Abby Anderson x female reader

Warnings: smut, mentions of IVF, breeding, strap on, strap referred to as cock

Literally just pure filth, enjoy 😈

-

You and Abby have been dating for 3 years and married for one and honestly it’s been the best 4 years of your life you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone but her. Recently you both decided to take the next step. You’ve been going through IVF and as happy you were to have a baby with Abby that wasn’t the only perk. Going through IVF brought out a certain side to Abby, you’ve known about this side for 3 years now but with the prospect of you getting pregnant this side has just gotten more prevalent. Abby Anderson had a major breeding kink.

Abby has always had a breeding kink, you remember the first time you stumbled upon her breeding strap. You had been dating for a year and she told you to grab the strap you wanted her to use when she got home. You rooted through her bottom drawer and came across a strap you’ve never seen before. You inspected it, it was big and it had some kind of tube at the end of it. It definitely looked interesting so you sat it on the bed and waited for her to get home.

When she got home she saw the strap you chose and shook her head “no, choose a different one” she told you and you were curious what was the issue with this strap so you poked and prodded her for answers until she mumbled something with a flush on her face. “What? I couldn’t hear you?” You asked

She sat on the bed next to you and put her head in her hands to hide her blush but it was no use as the flush moved to her ears. “It’s a breeding strap” she said a bit louder. That night she came clean about her breeding kink and about how she was afraid to tell you about it. You two have definitely come a long way from that night if right now is any indication.

The hand in your hair gripped tighter as Abby’s hips slammed against your ass. Your face was buried in the bed as Abby fucked you from behind. “That’s it baby take it” she grunted as she held your hip.

“Gonna fuck you till I cum, you want that huh baby? Want me to cum in that pussy” she growled as her strap pumped in and out of you.

“F-fuck yes Abby please” you begged, god you felt so good. Her cock was stretching you.

When you started having IVF appointments Abby got a present for the both a you. A new breeding strap, bigger and better than her previous one. This one and a little nub that rubbed against her clit perfectly and the silicone had veins that enhanced your experience too. And it also had a bigger out put of “cum”.

The squelch of your soaked pussy could be heard through out the room, the sound of skin against skin, and your whimpers and moans. God Abby loved that sound.

“So good for me baby, this pussy was fucking made for my cock” Abby thrusted deep into with each word almost as if she was proving her point.

“Yes yes yes” you could barely think at this point everything just felt so good. The grip in your hair loosened and Abby placed both hands on your hips and you knew exactly what that meant and your pussy clenched just at the thought.

Abby groaned when she saw your pussy clench around her cock. Fuck she loved to just watch her cock go in and out of your cunt, there was already a white ring forming at the end.

You were both getting close you both knew that, Abby started thrusting harder and faster into you. You couldn’t form a thought she was fucking you absolutely brainless all that was coming out of your mouth was “ah, ah, ah…”

“Mmh that’s it baby take my fucking cock fuck gonna make you a mama baby that what you want?” Abby had no control of the words coming out of her mouth anymore and her words just made you clench harder, she had to actually put more work into fucking you with how tight your pussy was getting. The raspy growl of her voice making you even wetter.

“Gonna fucking fill you full of cum”

“Gonna make you have my fucking baby”

“Gonna make you a mama” her pace was unrelenting at this point she was so fucking close.

“Yes yes yes Abby fuck make me a mama” you moaned out

“Abby Abby Abby…” your moaned crescendoed into a scream as you came around her cock, your legs shaking and your hands gripping the sheets.

“Fuck” Abby reached down for the pump attached to the strap, the knot in her stomach tightening

“Fuck” she cried out as she came her grip and your hip and the pump tightening as she shot her hot cum into you. You could feel it filling you.

You were both breathing heavily and Abby leaned down to kiss your back.

“I love you” she mumbled against the skin

“I love you too” you told her still out of breath.

Abby slowly pulled out of you groaning at the sight of her cum dripping out of your pussy, while you whimpered at the feeling of her pulling out.

She fucked her cum back into with two fingers and your whimper turned to a moan.

“Cant waste a single drop now can we mama?”

-

I need Abby Anderson to breed me and call me mama huh? Who said that?

[subashvigram97]

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[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Alabama chief justice Tom Parker wrote: “Even before birth, all human beings bear the image of God,

Full offence intended: Anyone as moronic as this worthless drooling goat-fucker and all of his brainless kind shouldn't legally be allowed to be employed in law, government or really any job where they're allowed any form of power or opinion.

Because seriously

We believe that each human being, from the moment of conception, is made in the image of God, created by him to reflect his likeness.”

Letting someone who believes deranged batshit garbage like this make laws relating to reproduction is like letting John Wayne Gacy decide the age of consent

[baronessblixen]

And May All Your Wishes Come True

Day three: Christmas list/wishes

I'm doing the 24 Days of X-Mas Files Challenge that msrafterdark posted!

Summary: What's Mulder's wish for Christmas? (fluff, wc: 1,395)

Tagging @today-in-fic

They are finishing up their latest case at the police station, with Scully filling out forms and both of them waiting for the social worker. Once more, the case has turned out not to be an x-files; rather than suspected werewolves, they’ve busted a cult that believed in human sacrifices to be performed at full moon. And not just any human sacrifices either.

Children.

There were so many children hidden away. Some who their parents had brought, and others who had been kidnapped. She still gets ice-cold shivers running down her spine, thinking of the small, terrified faces they’ve encountered.

Most children have been taken home to their desperate parents or to relatives. There’s only one boy left who doesn’t have anyone. And right before the Christmas holidays, too. She glances over at the boy who is sitting with Mulder and hanging on his every word. The sight causes a funny feeling in her stomach. She knows exactly what it is – and why – but she doesn’t want to admit it to herself. Even in the privacy of her own thoughts.

“Mr. Mulder,” the child says, unwrapping a piece of chocolate that Mulder must have had in his pocket. “Do you think Santa is real?”

“Oh, I know he is,” Mulder says with a smile.

“Really?” The boy scoots closer to him. “Have you seen him?”

“I have.”

Scully smiles. She just can’t help it. Despite everything, the boy trusts Mulder. He’s stuffed the chocolate into his mouth and is chewing noisily, staring at Mulder with his big brown eyes. There’s that feeling again, tugging at her insides. She tries to ignore it, but she can’t.

If she squints, she can just imagine that this child isn’t a stranger. That he isn’t someone else’s baby. With his shaggy brown hair he could be a mini Mulder. He could be Mulder’s and hers. But he isn’t. She knew that the IVF would mess with her hormones and her emotions, but she can’t let them overwhelm her. She needs to keep a professional distance. For the child’s sake and her own.

“Do you think Santa will still find me when I’m not home?” The boy’s demeanor has changed. He’s solemn now, his voice cracking with worry.

“He will, Jason,” Mulder assures him in a gentle tone. He touches Jason’s shoulder and squeezes it. “No matter where you are, Santa knows you and he will find you. Have you written a wish list for him? I’ll make sure he gets it.”

“You will?” The excitement in the boy’s voice returns. He’s almost in Mulder’s lap now, grinning up at him with so much hope and happiness that it breaks Scully’s heart.

“Of course. Santa is an old buddy of mine.”

“You’re the coolest, Mr. Mulder. But,” he trails off, a shaky sigh leaving his mouth.

“But what, Jason?”

“I didn’t write a list,” he says in a small voice. “I- we weren’t allowed to… I don’t think Santa would have come to that place.”

“Hey,” Mulder says, taking the boy under his arms and putting him in a chair. “I have an idea. Why don’t you write your Christmas list right here? There’s still some time. Let me- Scully, do you have a pen and some paper for us?” Both Mulder and Jason turn to her, wearing similar expressions. She swallows, not allowing her thoughts to go down that road again.

“Of course,” she says, finding her voice. All she has at hand is the bill from their motel. She folds it in half and hands it to Mulder who mouths a thank you. She’s just about done with filling out her form, so she gives him her pen, too.

“Here you go, Jason.”

“It won’t take long,” he says, already scribbling away. “I know exactly what I want.” Mulder and Scully exchange a look and exhausted smiles. After so many years together, she can read his face easily. She knows what he’s thinking. Her own secret thoughts that she didn’t want to admit to herself are written across Mulder’s face now.

She has to look away, afraid that if she doesn’t, she’ll start crying. They have one chance left. Just one. The IVF was a long shot to begin with but with every shot they take that doesn’t work, she just wants it more. And she wants it with Mulder. It’s not a new realization at all. After all, she asked him to be the sperm donor. But seeing him with Jason today has solidified her choice. It’s Mulder. In each and every way, it’s Mulder that she wants.

While Jason writes his Christmas list, the social worker arrives. Scully exchanges a few words with her and asks where they’re taking the boy. He has family on the other side of the country and that’s where he’ll go after the holidays.

Scully looks at him, at this boy whose tongue is peeking out while he draws a Christmas tree with presents under it on his list. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to get a home and a family who’ll love him the way he deserves.

“Jason, are you ready?” The social worker asks him.

“Just a second,” he says, turning to Mulder. “Have you written your Christmas list yet, Mr. Mulder?”

“I’m too old for Santa to visit me.” Mulder chuckles, but Jason shakes his head.

“You said you’re buddies. You have to have a wish, Mr. Mulder. I left you some space here.” The boy points at a blank space on the paper, right next to a doodle of a wrapped present. “You have to write it down,” Jason explains to him. “Or it won’t come true.”

“This is your list,” Mulder reminds him but the boy is adamant.

“What’s your biggest, greatest, bestest wish, Mr. Mulder?” Jason smiles at him, the gaps in his teeth showing.

“It’s-”

“No, you have to write it down. Right here.” The social worker chuckles and Scully can’t help but smile too.

“You’re very convincing,” Mulder says, running a hand through the boy’s hair. “I’ll write down a wish. Happy now?” Jason leans over and checks what Mulder has written. He glances at him and nods.

“You really make sure Santa gets my list?”

“I promise you, Jason.”

“And he’ll find me?”

“He’ll find you, no matter where you are.”

“Thank you, Mr. Mulder.” Jason throws himself at Mulder, who catches the boy and hugs him back. “I hope your wish comes true, too. Bye, Mr. Mulder. And bye, Agent Scully.”

“Bye, Jason,” she says, waving back at him.

“Cute kid,” Mulder says once Jason and the social worker have left. They’re finally free to go home, too.

“He really is. I hope he’ll recover from what he’s experienced.”

“He will,” Mulder says, sounding confident. “Did the social worker say where they’re taking him? I have to play Santa.” He smiles. “He wants a bike, and hm, a kitten. That one might be difficult. But he should get his bike. Don’t you think?” She nods, not trusting her words. She knows Mulder will move heaven and earth so that Jason will get his bike Christmas morning. And whatever else is on that list. Just to give the boy a reason to keep believing, to keep going. That’s her Mulder.

“What did you wish for?” she asks once they get to their car.

“Oh, you know,” he says nonchalantly. “The usual.”

“Which is what?” To her surprise, he hands her the piece of paper before he starts the car. She quickly reads through Jasons’s wishes before she stumbles upon Mulder’s familiar scrawl. Her heart constricts as she reads his words: ‘I wish that my best friend’s greatest wish comes true’.

“Mulder,” she whispers, her emotions overwhelming her.

“It’s all I want,” he says, quickly glancing over at her. He takes one hand off the wheel and grabs hers. “And not just for you, Scully. I want this for us. Spending time with Jason today, I- Christmas is the time to ask for miracles, right? Maybe we can make one. Hell, we’re due for one.” She sniffs, wiping a few tears away. “Hold on to that list. I know you’re the skeptic here, but… I want to believe. I do believe, Scully.”

“I do, too,” she admits, and Mulder squeezes her hand. And maybe, just maybe, their wish will come true.

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Aware AU thought but, https://www.tumblr.com/tumblingxelian/754631895572267008/justanotherpersonsuniverse-i-didnt-watch?source=share

This very much gives the idea that Lila's mother is the intensely absent, IE neglectful parent who compensates by saying sweet things but doesn't back it up with any action.

Which likely also made it harder for Lila to really communicate her issues because her mom says nice things, she makes sure she has food, & sometimes spends time around her.

Who would believe her mom is anything but a bit busier than Lila would like? Don't be spoiled Lila, your mother works so hard for you!

With her likely internalizing her mothers sweet nothings as lies & lying herself to trick others to get by a little easier, to get a little attention she so craves, to cover for problems or mistakes.

I think the song Our Word would sum her up very well, either just the first portion as here here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y3DVFF0spY Or the full song here, which could also maybe represent a sort of, "This is what I could have become" angle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9RHJTpLOVk

so, first off, the first thing I thought when I heard the song in its entirety was "Musical Lila!Akuma", so that’s going to live rent free in my head all day.

yeah, I think the implication is definitely supposed to be "absent mom" (though I think this is before the "multi-mom" nonsense) and I always took it as, the one thing Lila DOES tell the truth about is her mom's job. Ambassador is up in the air, but definitely works for the Italian embassy, which would actually go a long way to explaining a lot about Lila.

If Lila's mom is an Italian ambassador, Lila probably is well travelled, and probably has met SOME important people, at least by proxy. The best lies have a kernel of truth in there somewhere, after all. It’s plausible she could have met most of these people. She's also probably never in the same place longer than a year or so. She moves to a lot of new places, many of which may or may not have a language in common with her. She probably never shows up at the start of a school year, but partway through, when everyone's already formed their friend groups. She’s always "the new girl", either seen as a weird foreigner, or a shiny new toy with fun stories of other places. But how many people stick around when the stories dry up? Better make more stories, better stories, so you aren’t alone - and then it doesn’t even matter, because you'll be gone in six months, and eventually all your "friends" have steady lives to get back to, so they stop calling, stop texting, and you're right back where you started.

Plus, how much time do you think she's actually spent in Italy, in her own house, since she was little? Does she see the rest of her family?

Also, I find it interesting we don’t see her dad. Mostly cause the other kids have either really well established home lives, or we ignore them, with the implication they are "normal". If there are single parents, we eventually do get explanations - Anarka either never told Jagged or he decided he wouldn’t be a good dad, Mylene's mom sucked, Felix's dad died (and also sucked), we won't even get into Gabriel and Emilie. I think the only other "Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Show" parent we get no info on is Kagami's dad. So, where's Mr. Rossi?

Sick? Died? Missing? Divorced? Was he a nice guy? Equally neglectful? Did he know about Lila's lies? Did he encourage it? Ignore it? Is Mrs. Rossi acting like this cause of something to do with her husband? Is she mourning him? Did he cheat on her? Was she even ever married? Is Lila technically a bastard baby? Or is her mom truly a single mom - wanted a kid, went through IVF?

(I mean, I have similar questions about Kagami's dad, but if we keep the Sentimonster stuff, along with everything else, then it does actually make sense that Tomoe never had a romantic partner of any kind, she just wanted a kid/heir, no partner was involved at any point)

@tumblingxelian

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

I know I'm going to come off as paranoid, but I think my worry is this: if LGBTQIA+ topics are socially deemed to be "inappropriate to children", if you can't mention queerness or transness around kids at all, then the law can be changed so that LGBTQIA+ people can't be around children. Section 28 again, but applying to all occupations that might cause a queer person to interact with a child (so no teachers, librarians, or public sector work at all); people potentially being arrested or marked as perverts for being closeted and in these occupations. Queer and trans people being unable to adopt children, unable to access IVF, and even having their children taken away from them; trans people also having to be sterilised, unmarried and childless/with adult children in order to change their gender markers. I can go on.

I think people would say I'm using a "slippery slope" fallacy - perhaps linking protests about Drag Story Time to people having their families broken up - but a lot of these WERE the policies that the UK ran on until only 20 years ago (I know older butches who were threatened with losing their children, for example), and many countries still have some form of the other policies in place; I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility for this to be the end point of all this homophobic and transphobic rhetoric that's going around right now.

Am I being daft? I feel like it's the obvious "goal" of the right wing, but I've not seen anyone bring it up.

You aren’t. In some places in America they started kidnapping kids from parents not just if the kid was trans but even if one of the parents was too.

They don’t want us around kids. Full stop. Anyone who tries to claim it’s a slippery slope fallacy doesn’t understand how this shit works.

It’s like when people said “just go to another bakery” when a gay couple was refused a wedding cake, and then republicans literally tried to make it legal for people to refuse queer folk housing. Some people even on the left are waaaay too tolerant of anti-LGBTQ people.

[a-queer-seminarian]

cw religious transphobia, Catholic trauma, plus a weird dream involving violence and bombs lol

had another of my dreams about my childhood church last night — probably prompted by the latest shitty Vatican publication condemning "gender theory" :/

...the document doesn't have much new in it, just more of the Roman Catholic Church's usual bullshit with slightly different language. but God i'd take fundamentalism's look-even-slightly-closer-and-it-falls-apart cognitive dissonance any day to the very carefully ordered logic of Catholic bigotry. i always feel physically ill reading through these Vatican documents because the language is so "loving" and "reasonable" — at least for me as someone who was raised into the Catholic logic system; some deep core of me resonates to this specific pitch and aches.

It's like they know exactly what language to use to shatter me — this time it's language about the Infinite Dignity of human beings, which is something i deeply believe in! It's heart-language for me. Tell me queer folk are "intrinsically disordered" or "demonic" and i can mostly scoff it off as outdated unscientific bullshit. But tell me queerness is on par with fucking WAR and POVERTY and XENOPHOBIA in attacking human dignity and that hurts.

...but they also, of course :/, bring in abortion — but also, in a surprising twist, surrogacy??? — as attacking human dignity, and that thankfully snaps me out of my spiral a little bit. Like seriously?? you think all forms of surrogacy violate the *checks notes* child's "right to have a fully human (and not artificially induced) origin..." and the recognition of "every dimension of the dignity of the conjugal union and of human procreation."

It reminds me that the Catholic condemnation of queer sex is like, one level in a house of cards where you take out one piece and it all collapses: the logic they follow to condemn queer sex and extramarital sex requires that they also condemn contraceptives, and priests getting married, and yes, surrogacy and IVF too. To become lax about any one would send the whole logic tower tumbling --

Okay now i'm just ranting incoherently lol. the dream:

my dream was actually kind of interesting? it's the first one where instead of me being scared about my own safety when suddenly finding myself back in my childhood church, i was scared for everyone else —

i was running home trying to escape some kind of violent attack unfolding in a city center (idk the details don't worry about it lol), and realized i had to cut through saint raphael for the fastest route home. so i entered, only to realize the sanctuary was packed full with people in the middle of Mass. (it's the old sanctuary, the one i grew up with, rather than the new bigger one built back in like 2014)

so i'm trying to slink behind the pews so they won't notice me -- and then i suddenly realize someone is up in the choir loft with a bomb. everyone is clueless except for me. i don't want to alert the person with the bomb that i've seen them in case it prompts them to attack, so i start speaking urgently to people in the pews nearest me. some listen, some tell me to shut up, Mass is more important than whatever danger i think is there. very few get up to hurry out the nearest exit. but i keep trying, going pew to pew to warn people, getting closer to the front.

and there is father tim, about to begin eucharistic liturgy at the altar. i'm about to race up to him, to warn him, to beg him to tell everyone to flee, when the person in the choir loft finally speaks. i don't remember what he says, but he hurls the bomb. finally everyone is running for the exits, but it's too late to get everyone out. they'd ignored the violence in their midst far too long.

i don't remember what happens after that except that i get out, get across the street, and turn back to look upon the crumbled mess of my childhood church, one side entirely exploded outward, people soot-streaked and bleeding hobbling from a smoking doorway, shouting.

idk, it just feels symbolic somehow. Catholics who are either very happy with the queerphobic poison the Roman Catholic Church espouses, or who at least shrug and ignore it so as not to rock the boat and cause discomfort / risk their own standing in the church, seem to think they won't be harmed by that poison too. Very "i didn't think the tigers would eat my face" meme-esque. They are happy to let it seep into every crack and crevice in their churches, to swallow it with their Communion wine, to spread it among their children.

But it is poisoning them, all the same. We are just the canaries in the coal mine, dropping first. The queerphobia, the misogyny, the scandals buried under the rug — these warp their ability to experience the Divine, to recognize God's activity in their midst.

The bomb is already activated. Some of them applaud it, almost worship it. Others ignore its quiet, patient tick. And they push out all the queers, all the survivors of church abuse, all the people with pregnancies that will literally kill them, who are desperately trying to help them shut off the damn bomb before it's too late.

[harlstark]

What are some of your harley family headcanons? (His mum, sister, dad??)

oh my god okay okay this is such a loaded question and would probably take me forever to answer in full so i will try to keep this as abridged as possible

mother:

-i usually use the common name in fics for her “Macy” but to me her maiden name is Merriweather for no reason in particular

-i think she works as a waitress/bartender which is alluded to canon but yknow

-i imagine her blonde haired as straw, a young mother but her smile lines show

-loving but definitely distant. she tries, but being a single, low income mother to two, who struggles with undiagnosed mental health issues of her own and mild alcoholism has made her rather uninvolved. while i believe she’s unconditional in her love, she’s not very present in showing it. harley was raised mostly on his own because of this

-she’s not the biggest fan of tony stark, and certainly doesn’t get star struck, but she doesn’t hate the man

father:

-deadbeat asshole who was 100% an alcoholic/addict

-i don’t have a name preference for him, it kind of changes if i mention him by name in a fic. but i never call him james and never will

-probably fucked off to nevada or something

-definitely gave harley a rough time for being different than the other kids

sister

-i use the name abbie/abby from peachy, but also sometimes abigail kennedy “AK”. once or twice mentally ive used the name piper too but usual just stick to abbie

-i think she cut her own bangs when she was in middle school and fucked up so harley tried to help her by watching youtube video tutorials and ever since he has just been the one that cuts her bangs for her in their cramped bathroom

-she’s got lots of freckles and a little gap between her two front teeth

-had a bit of a rebellious phase in high school and liked to casually flirt with boys and girls, following in her brothers footsteps a bit by becoming the latest gossip topic. this was her form of grieving once harley moved away to NY. she had a genuine summer-time romance with a traveling hippie family’s daughter one year, and mellowed out after that. eventually i think she decided to go to community college but hated it and dropped out, then took a gap year just traveling. eventually she ended up in new york too, either doing something in the arts, or continuing her education and working at SI in design. she meets a muslim woman, and eventually they get married, and have two kids through IVF. they take frequent trips to rose hill and eventually move back to tennessee in a kinder rural town, and they have their own garden and chickens

-she once took in a stray tabby cat

-she knows harley‘s gay before he tells anyone. even if she didn’t know the word to it, she just knew the concept of harley with a girlfriend just didn’t make sense

-she likes y’allternative music

-has a tendency to lay on sun spots on the carpet

-master at checkers, domino train, and any card game in the books

-collected my little pony dolls as a kid

-smoked cigarettes for a couple years before stopping

-prefers red wine over white

-very into denims, plaids, florals, and country bumpkin mud-stained clothes as a kid, darker alternative y2k inspired clothes as a teen, and modern french/classy vintage style clothing as an adult

-grew up running wild, barefoot, and free. her favorite place to hang out in rosehill is a old drive inn theatre, which is where she met that girl one summer

[softpine]

Hi! I’ve been following you for probably 3 years? I never read your story in full because I felt like I was already so far behind when I tried reading it the first time. I know the very beginning is very gameplay-esque I was wondering where I should start so I understand the lore and story properly? I don’t want to miss anything! I am always so amazed at the way you edit your story posts and the writing! So I really want to deep dive and finally read everything 😭 sorry it took me this long!! Writing this on anon cus I’m shy and a little embarrassed tbh ><

hey!! don't be embarrassed, i'm not judging in the slightest. i'm more aware than anyone else how crazyy long my story is. but sadly there's not a great place to start reading without missing things :( but here's a summary of the main plot points that become relevant later on:

rosie camellia (right) is a college student from brindleton bay, studying archaeology abroad in selvadorada. she meets isa delavina (left), an author and the great-granddaughter of madre cosecha, the scientist who founded selvadorada. she ends up showing rosie the hidden temple, they fall in love, start dating, move in together, etc.

now stick with me. rosie has 4 younger brothers, both are pairs of twins. michael and jack were teenagers at the time, but owen and isaac were very young toddlers. anyway, so michael shows up in selvadorada and breaks the news that their moms, genevieve (left) and reece (right), were in a car accident and both of them are dying. rosie rushes back home, leaving isa behind.

gen and reece die. [you'll see them as ghosts much later on.] rosie gets custody of all 4 brothers. isa moves to brindleton bay to support rosie and they eventually get married. michael & jack go away to college. owen (right) & isaac (left) were so young that they consider rosie and isa their moms, which is how they will always view them going forward. [the only brother who is really important is owen, because he will be stevie's dad.]

using IVF, isa becomes pregnant with caroline. while she's pregnant, her old friend from selvadorada, eva vasquez, shows up with a baby of her own, beth!!! 💖

as it turns out, eva had to escape an abusive relationship with beth's father, so she turned to isa and rosie for help. she eventually moves in next door. beth (right) loves to play with owen and isaac, and when caroline (left) is born, they become the best of friends immediately.

the last thing you need to know is about caroline. she'll become the main character so she's super important. the day she's born, we get our first bit of true plot in the form of a letter from isa. it's a recounting of caroline's birth written in the future. she talks about why they named her caroline (after the song sweet caroline started playing on the radio), about how the huge storm subsided as soon as she was born, and finally, she writes: "We miss you, we love you, and we need you to come home. Please, please come home, Caroline." so caroline's entire childhood and teen years are clouded by the knowledge that at some point in the future, she will lose contact with her family, though we don't know how or why or when.

now you can start reading from around this point, although there's still plenty of cringe left before i really hit my stride 😭 i'm sorry, it's just the nature of working on the same story since 2018 and learning as i go. i hope if you decide to give it a shot, you'll be able to find some value in it :')

[totowlff]

chapter three — a simple equation

➝ starting treatment is not easy for cassie. nausea, headache, fatigue become part of her routine and a person realizes it.

➝ word count: 4,9k

➝ warnings: none

By the end of January, Cassie had taken the first steps towards having a baby.

She had seen her general practitioner, who performed a physical exam, and ordered an entire shopping list of blood tests to check what seemed like a dozen parameters, and gave her a referral and the results to a clinic in Oxford. 

After seeing her regular GP, she called and made an appointment with the clinic, who recommended she start with a fertility assessment, which involved more blood tests, an ultrasound of her uterus and ovaries, and a mock embryo transfer. The clinic also strongly recommended that she see one of their counsellors during her visit for her initial exams, because she was planning on using donor sperm. 

The real first step, though, was filling out forms. Lots of them — what felt like an entire encyclopedia’s worth. Her entire medical history, vaccination records, a questionnaire on what traits she wanted her prospective donor to have, medical releases, financial documents for payment, family history, all of it. 

By the time she was on the exam table in the IVF clinic, waiting as an ultrasound technician prepared some equipment, she felt like her stomach was churning. Her excitement and anticipation had been replaced by nerves as the day of her visit drew closer, but now, lying on an exam table with her feet in stirrups, she found herself wishing that she’d brought someone with her. Even bringing one of her female friends would’ve been better than coming alone — she wanted someone’s hand to hold, someone to talk to her, to distract her. The staff was all very nice, and the clinic was pleasant enough, but there was still something eerily sterile and cold about making a baby this way.

— Take a few deep breaths and relax — the technician said, turning to face Cassie. The technician had a mask on, and Cassie’s legs were draped with a sheet to protect her privacy, but she still felt exposed — You might feel something cold and damp, that’s just the lubricant. Also, you might feel a pressure or fullness, but please let me know if you feel any pain or discomfort.

Cassie did her best to relax as she felt the ultrasound wand pass into her body. It didn’t hurt, but it felt a little strange. She’d had sex before, but this was obviously nothing like that. It felt like a strange sort of pressure, but nothing more than that. 

After a few moments, the technician turned to her.

— I don’t know if you can prop yourself on your elbows, but you can take a look, if you’d like.

Cassie sat up a bit, resting back on her hands, as the technician pointed out things on the black-and-white screen.

— Here is your left ovary… See that big black spot? — the technician said, pointing out certain features of the image. 

— That’s what we call the dominant follicle, which is the egg that matures and gets released when you menstruate. These other smaller spots here are the antral follicles, immature eggs that aren’t quite ready. And your right one — the technician said, shifting the wand a bit — Looks about the same. And then this is your uterus. Good. If you want to lay back down, I’ve got all of the images I need.

— Thank you — Cassie said, settling back down onto the table. The technician withdrew the wand, putting the equipment away. She left Cassie alone in the room, giving her some paper towels to wipe off the residue left between her legs, and giving her a chance to change back into her normal clothes.

“That wasn’t so bad, I guess”, Cassie thought, as she pulled her pants back on.

Next, she met with one of the clinic’s counsellors. They discussed Cassie’s reasons for wanting to have children, how she’d come to the decision to use donor sperm, how selecting donor sperm worked, and the legal implications of parental rights by using donor sperm.

— Now, all of that said, I do have bad news — the counsellor said, after giving a lengthy explanation.

Cassie’s heart sank, and in the pause between the counsellor’s words, she imagined every possible scenario. Maybe she was barren, her ovaries nothing but scar tissue. Maybe they could tell by looking at her and talking to her she’d be a terrible mother. Maybe it was too late, she was already too old, and her reproductive system had already pickled itself, or turned to stone.

— Unfortunately, Britain is… Experiencing a unique situation where we don’t have as ready of a supply of donor sperm as other countries do. There are a few reasons for this, mostly having to do with the laws around donor privacy, and donor compensation. At this time, we don’t have anyone that matches the questionnaire you filled out with your intake forms.

— Oh — Cassie said. She was relieved. It was hard to hear, but at least the issue wasn’t with her — I see.

— So — the counsellor continued — You have a few options. We can start you on hormonal birth control right away, just to get your cycle regulated, and we can wait for someone that matches your profile to become available. We do get new donors in quite a bit, so it may not be that long of a wait. We could also make a second profile with other traits you’d like to see if we get any matches from that. 

Those options didn’t attract Cassie’s attention.

— The last option, of course, is if you do know of someone who would be willing to provide a sample, you would be able to use a known donor. Now, as I said, sperm donors do not have legal parental rights and responsibilities, so if you use a known donor and you, say, want to co-parent, I would recommend working out a legal arrangement to outline the details of that. I’ve known women who have friends they end up co-parenting with, so it’s not unheard of. If you’d like to think about it, though, we don’t have to make any decisions immediately.

Cassie left the clinic without deciding anything. 

There were advantages and drawbacks to each option she was given, save for the third — she couldn’t even begin to think of any man she’d be comfortable enough to ask to become the father of her child, but not in a legal or emotional sense.

But she did take the counsellor’s advice and left with a prescription for birth control pills. That way, if a donor became available, she wouldn’t have to wait for her cycle to regulate itself by starting the pills just beforehand. She would have to wait a few days for the results of her exams to come back to determine if she would even be able to successfully conceive and carry a child through IVF. She would start the medication once getting the all-clear.

A few days later, Cassie got the results from all of the testing. Everything looked great. Her hormone levels, her follicle count, and uterine exam were all perfect. She didn’t have any fibroids or cysts, or anything else that might cause issues with the process. It was a relief.

She started taking her pills that day, and hoped that it wouldn’t take too long to move on to the next steps.

After a few days, she really hoped the process would move quickly, because the birth control pills were making her absolutely miserable. She’d taken birth control when she was younger — in university, mostly, but it must have been a different kind or dosage, because she didn’t remember feeling as bad as the ones she was just prescribed made her feel.

She had a constant headache, she felt bloated and nauseous. She was exhausted, and she felt like her brain was encased in gelatine. Her breasts were tender and sensitive, and she felt ready to cry at the slightest provocation. She tried to take it all in stride, though, because from what she read, pregnancy would be even worse.

Even so, the exhaustion and her headache made trying to sit through meetings difficult, especially their team’s weekly meeting with Toto. 

As Victoria, her boss and the head of marketing operations, and Toto discussed marketing strategy ahead of pre-season testing, Cassie rested her head on her hand, trying to focus, but she was distracted. Her head felt like it was filled with television static. She tried to regain focus by trying to remember what was being served for lunch in the employee canteen that day, but she had absolutely no appetite because of how nauseous she felt.

“I guess I’ll go downstairs and get some tea after this meeting”, she thought. The coffee counter had a nice lemon ginger tea that would probably do a world of good for her stomach. 

As soon as Victoria wrapped up the meeting, Cassie bolted from the conference room, walking quickly down the upstairs hallway toward the stairwell. 

— Cassie, wait! — she heard at her back.

Cassie stopped and turned around to see Toto striding after her, closing the distance between them quickly with his long legs.

— Are you feeling okay? — he asked, when he got close — You look a bit… Out of sorts. And during the meeting you weren’t as… Talkative as you normally are.

She glanced at his face. He had that worried expression of his again. She hated when Toto looked at her like that, because he could always tell when something was bothering her, or when she felt off. They’d grown very close and comfortable with each other over the past three years of their little weekly chats in the coffee shop, but it still made her feel strangely exposed.

— I’m alright. Just tired. I started on a new medication and… Some of the side effects aren’t pleasant.

— Medication? — he said, arching his eyebrow — Are you ill? Is everything okay? Do you need to go home and rest?

Cassie sighed.

— No, it’s not anything like that, it’s… Well, not something I’d like to discuss in the middle of the hallway, but…

— Well, we can go talk about it over coffee, if you’d like?

— I — Cassie stammered. 

— Or is something you’re not comfortable discussing with me?

— It’s… Well, it’s not that, it’s just… It’s something pretty… I just don’t know if I want to discuss it in the middle of the office coffee shop — Cassie said, looking away from Toto’s face.

— Well, we can discuss it in my office, if you’d like? I can go downstairs and get you a drink, if you want to wait for me there.

— Oh. Yes, we can do that. Um… No coffee today, I’ll have a lemon ginger tea if they have it. Peppermint, if they don’t. No milk or sugar. Please and thank you.

Toto smiled.

— I’ll be right back, then. My office door should be unlocked, go ahead and make yourself comfortable.

Cassie turned back around and headed to Toto’s office. As promised, the door wasn’t locked, so she let herself in. She felt a little strange walking in alone and seemingly uninvited, and it earned her some strange glances from some of her coworkers as they passed by. She thought Toto had an interesting notion of privacy, given that three of the four walls of his office were made of glass, giving the impression that he worked in a fishbowl, but at least nobody would be able to hear them talking. 

Like most offices, his had a desk. It was made of light wood, but it was unassuming and not imposing and imperious like the desk that her father had in his office. It was also sleek and modern looking, more of a table instead of a desk. There was a glass coffee table with two modern-looking armchairs, and a small table with four rolling chairs. 

The walls were also lined with shelves that displayed various mementos and awards, helmets given to him by drivers, a few framed photographs, and a few trophies, including the F1 World Constructors Trophy. All of it, of course, was neatly arranged, and his office was spotlessly clean and modern-looking. He didn’t even have a computer on his desk — he preferred to use an iPad for work, and he had a laptop for when that would not suffice, not wanting the clutter of having a proper desktop computer.

She decided one of the armchairs would probably be the most comfortable place to have their conversation. 

Cassie didn’t have to wait long until Toto returned, carrying two cardboard coffee cups with him. He set one of them in front of her, placing a sachet with a teabag on top of the lid. 

— I wasn’t sure how strong you wanted your tea, so I just had the barista give me the bag. I hope that’s okay. They had the lemon ginger, though!

— Perfect, thank you — Cassie said, carefully taking the lid off of the coffee cup and setting the open tea bag inside to allow it to steep. 

— So — Toto said, settling carefully down in the other armchair. He leaned forward a little, putting his elbows on his knees — Tell me, what’s happening? Is everything okay?

— Ah… Yes. So, I told you I started some new medication, and… Well, they’re birth control pills. Some of them can have fairly harsh side effects for some women, I think, and these ones just happen to not agree with me, I suppose.

Ordinarily, Cassie would feel strange sharing this sort of information with a coworker, especially a male coworker. Especially if that male coworker was her boss, but she and Toto had developed a fairly close, even casual relationship over the past three years. She couldn’t really explain how or why things had progressed the way they had, but Toto had a way of making her feel comfortable about opening up to him in a way she didn’t feel with anybody else. 

She could talk to her sister about some things, but was often afraid of her reaction, or that she might accidentally let something slip to their parents. She could talk to Sybil about things, too, but she knew that she and Sabine were busy, and didn’t want to always bother the two of them with her little insanities.

It didn’t help that Toto would make that expression of his — that face he made when he was worried about something. The way his dark brown eyes went soft, the way his eyebrows pinched together and raised at the same time, and the way his mouth formed into a sort of stretched half-frown. It was a look of pure concern, looking at her like she was someone worth caring for. It was an expression that nobody in her immediate family had ever given her, that she could remember. 

She didn’t know why, but that expression of his could melt away every last bit of Cassie’s resolve. That expression of his could get her to tell him state secrets, if she knew any. It was a good thing she didn’t work for MI:5. 

And the worst part was that she knew he wasn’t doing it intentionally or maliciously, intending to manipulate her, because he didn’t even know he was doing it. 

She teased him about it once, telling him not to make “that face”, when she told him about an incident from boarding school, where she and her classmates dared each other to go stand on some ice on a frozen pond near their school during one particularly cold winter. Cassie, as a child, was an unfortunate combination of overly cautious, yet easily goaded into things. She obviously fell through the too-thin ice when she was dared by the other girls to try to walk on top of it. The water was not deep, so she simply stood back up and walked back out of the water, but nearly froze on the way back to her rooms, earning herself an earful from her housemother. 

Cassie was sitting in front of him, more than two decades later, obviously unharmed, his face showing how worried he was, even about Cassie from the distant past. It was just the kind of person he was.

Toto cocked his eyebrow.

— I suppose that is fairly personal. Does that mean that you’ve started seeing someone?

— Uh, well — Cassie said, shifting a little — No. I’m not. But, I’ve decided that I would like to have… A baby. I didn’t think I wanted kids at all growing up, but I've come to the realization recently that I did. I think all along, I just didn’t want to give my parents something they were expecting from me. I started thinking about it, and realized that, biologically, I’m a bit short on time at the ripe old age of thirty-five, and I don’t really have the luxury of waiting to meet someone.

Cassie had previously been spare in her details about her family life when talking to Toto, only telling him that she and her parents were not close, and did not have a good relationship.

— Oh. But — Toto’s brow furrowed — But you said you’re not seeing someone, so, how does that work?

— Well, I’m going through a fertility clinic. With… A donor. Basically, they give me medication that makes me release a bunch of eggs at once, the clinic collects them and fertilizes them with a donor, um, sample, and they put the fertilized egg back, and hope it takes.

— So, why the birth control?

— Well, they need your cycle to be regulated, because they need to know when to start the process. It seems counter-intuitive, but birth control pills make everything predictable and put you on a sort of schedule. They also have the possibility of making you feel like shit. Pardon my language.

— So, you’re going to raise a baby… All alone? — he asked. 

— Well… Yeah. I mean, I’ve gone on a few dates lately, but not a single one of them has gone well. It seems like every man I’ve met has expressed that, should the two of us get together, I would be the one to drop my career to stay at home and take care of the house and children, which is exactly what my parents wanted me to do. I very intentionally have avoided becoming trapped in that kind of life, because I know it would make me miserable, but it’s not the idea of having children that sounds miserable, it’s the idea of being stuck at home, being a mother and a wife and nothing more. 

He nodded.

— Actually, I think having my own little family sounds amazing, especially because my own family life was so… Terrible. And it’s something to give my time outside of work, I don’t know, some sort of meaning, some sort of purpose. I know taking up a new hobby or adopting a pet is probably easier, but I'm so tired of coming home to a dark, empty flat every night when most of my friends are busy with their own children and families.

Cassie was looking at the gray carpet in Toto’s office, preferring not to look him in the eye as she poured her heart out to him. 

— Can I ask you something? — Toto said, softly. Cassie picked her head up, looking into Toto’s face again. He had an expression she couldn’t place, maybe a bit worried, but more… Sad.

— Yes?

— Can I be… Your donor?

Cassie blinked. Surely she hadn’t heard him correctly. 

— I’m… Sorry?

— I don’t really know how it works, but if you haven’t… Picked someone yet, can I, um… Help you with this?

Cassie felt like she must have been hallucinating. There was a faint ringing in her ears, and she felt like all of the blood in her body had left it, leaving her very briefly with the feeling that she was dissociating, her consciousness splitting from her physical form, until she was able to snap out of it, leaving her feeling like she’d been hit by a train. All within a split second. She was speechless.

There was no possible way that her boss had just offered to donate his sperm to her cause of having a baby. 

— I… What? You — she stammered, her eyes wide with shock.

— I know it sounds crazy, and probably even very… Forward of me, but I have a lot of good reasons. At least, I think so. Please, just give me a few minutes to explain.

— Um… Okay…

— I’ve been single for a long time myself, just because of how hectic my schedule got when I was trying to build my businesses. And then, I got involved with motorsport, first with DTM in Germany, then with Williams, and then here. It’s a lot of time away from home, a lot of traveling. The last woman I dated seriously broke it off with me because I was never home. I’ve gone on a date or two here and there in the last few years, but everyone meets on these dating apps now, and I don’t like them. And while I don’t necessarily have the issue of… How do I say this? My age limiting my reproductive years, there’s not a lot of women willing to have someone as old as I am to be the father of their child.

— I don’t think you’re old — Cassie mumbled. 

Toto chuckled.

— Well, thank you for that. Anyway, you know I have a sister, and she has three sons. I love visiting them, because it’s very nice to be around children. They’re so young, and full of energy, it’s infectious. I love going to visit, but they live in Vienna, and aside from winter breaks and summer shutdown, it’s hard to make time to see them. But, they make me wonder what it would be like if I had children of my own, and I can’t help but feeling like there’s something… Missing.

Cassie nodded. It was how she felt about her own nephew, Helena’s son. 

— And lastly, I know I’ve mentioned before that my father passed away when I was young. He had brain cancer, and my parents divorced before he died, I think because his personality changed so much. It was so hard to watch him change into someone I barely recognized, and deteriorate eventually, to the point where his death was honestly a mercy.

A lump was starting to form in Cassie’s throat as she listened to him.

— And so, my mother raised my sister and I as a single parent. She was an anesthesiologist at the public hospital in Vienna. She didn’t make much in her position, not as much as she would have working in a private hospital, but those jobs were hard to come by, and she had a lot of circumstances against her, you know, as an immigrant from Poland. 

She nodded.

— So, she had to work a lot of long days to be able to keep a roof over our heads, to keep us fed and clothed, and to make sure we could stay in school. My sister and I went to the French school in Vienna, and she didn’t want us to have to start all over after my father couldn’t work any more, but the tuition was quite expensive. It’s not quite the same situation, but hearing how you are planning on working and raising a child on your own… I know it’s possible, and I know a lot of women don’t have a choice, my mother certainly didn’t, but if you don’t have at least someone to help, your child might end up living a very… Solitary childhood, like I did. 

Cassie felt something heavy in her chest.

— There were days I hardly ever saw my mother. She was already on her way to work before we left for school some days, so I had to make sure my sister and I got there ourselves, and had to make sure we both got home. She’d come home, rather late, and make dinner, but she was often too worn out to spend time with us. Maybe some kids cope with it better than I did, but I wouldn’t want any child to have to go through that.

He paused for a moment, trying to collect himself, as some emotion started creeping into his voice, causing it to waver a bit.

— It just seems like a simple equation, no? You want a child. I want a child. We both are on good terms with each other, we work well together. I know raising a child together is not quite the same as working together. But, we don’t have to… Be together, or anything. I’m certainly not going to insist we get into a relationship, at least beyond co-parenting, but when you talked about coming home to a dark and empty flat most nights… That’s how I feel, at least, when I’m not on the road.

Now, Toto was gazing at the carpet, like he didn’t want to meet Cassie’s eyes. It was a good thing, because her eyes were wet, like she was going to cry.

The circumstances of each of their childhoods couldn’t have been more different; Cassie’s family was wealthy and well-connected. She wanted for little in the way of material desires as a child, and her parents were married to this day. But, they shipped her to boarding school as soon as they could, and she didn’t speak to them any more. Toto lost one parent to cancer, which left his mother to try to hold things together, at the expense of her relationship with her children. But, the end result was the same. 

They had both felt alone as children, and now, both of them wanted a child in the hopes of being able to heal that pain, and they both wanted to give a child a better family life than each of them had. 

Inevitably, the details of co-parenting would be complex, and would need to be discussed. Legal documents would need to be drawn up, because, as the counsellor at the clinic noted, even known donors don’t get parental rights by default. But the core of their desires were simple, and mutual: they both wanted a child to love and nurture in a way that neither of them felt that they were loved and nurtured. 

Cassie sighed deeply. She didn’t want to make a decision either way that she would come to regret later, but Toto’s story moved her.

— Do you mind if I think about it? — she said — Maybe for a few days? It’s a big decision, and I just want to weigh all of my options.

Toto lifted his head up, taking both of Cassie’s hands in his, giving one of them a gentle squeeze. He had a small smile. 

— Of course. Please. Take all the time you need. And… Thank you.

Cassie got up, still holding her cup of tea, and said goodbye to Toto, leaving his office in silence.

If she expected to get anything done the rest of the day, she was mistaken. Toto's words wouldn't get out of her head.

“Can I be your donor?”, she heard his voice repeat, her eyes lost on her computer wallpaper, a picture of the team the day they won their third Constructors' title. Toto was standing behind one of the pit boards, smiling broadly. His nose crinkled in a certain way whenever he was smiling or laughing, when he was earnestly happy. He was indeed happy that day. Picking up her cup of tea, she took a sip of the warm brew, deep in thought.

“Can I be your donor?”

Cassie came home from work a little tired. Dropping her purse on the chest of drawers just inside the door of her apartment, she headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. After she finished, she felt a little better, the cool water reviving her a bit. She was still wrapped in a towel when she saw that there was a notification on her phone.

A message from Toto.

Swallowing hard, Cassie unlocked the screen and opened WhatsApp, clicking on his name.

The message was simple, just three words.

“For your consideration”.

Below the text, there were some images that were waiting to be downloaded. She touched the first one and, after a few seconds, a picture of a baby appeared on her screen. It didn't take her more than a second to realize that it was Toto as a baby. The expressive, dark eyes, round cheeks and unruly light hair, that must have darkened with time, was enough for her to realize it.

There was another picture under it, this time of him as a boy. In the photo, he was making an expression that Cassie saw quite often, with one of his eyebrows quirked, as if someone asked him a question he didn’t understand. Cassie laughed when she realized he hadn’t changed a bit.

There were other pictures, all of them of him at different ages and situations and with one common characteristic.

He had been adorable then, and he was incredibly handsome now. 

“Can I be your donor?”, he asked again in the back of her mind.

The answer was on the tip of her tongue.

She opened his name in her phone’s contacts and tapped his number.

— Hi — she said, relieved he answered quickly, before she could lose her nerve — Can you meet me on Saturday at Society Cafe? Yes, on St. Michael’s, across from the Three Goats’ Heads. Maybe 1pm? Great. I’ll see you then.

She hung up and flopped onto her bed, letting her towel go loose. She closed her eyes, and saw Toto’s face, the way he looked when they were talking earlier.

“Can I be your donor?”, he said.

She tried to imagine what he would look like on Saturday, when she told him “yes”. 

[allaboutivf]

PCOS Problem Learn About Polycystic Ovary Syndrome at Indira IVF

PCOS: Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a common hormonal problem experienced by women. Watch this detailed video on PCOS in women. For more information, visit!

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files Collector's Edition:  The Fics That Started It All

Sometime into quarantine, I ran across The X-Files while watching YouTube reacts. Frustrated by the vague clips and loose connective tissues these vids gave, I pulled up Wikipedia and decided to venture forth on my own. My first solo episode was either Ice or Squeeze, can’t remember which. From there, I raced through the seasons at breakneck speed, but stopped cold turkey after Existence (and refused to finish the rest.) It was either a Reddit link or a Google link that brought me to Tumblr for fill-ins after S8-- and from there, magic. 

The First Three (in loose order): 

 skuls/@ghostbustermelanieking

ghostbustermelanieking writes the best short and punchy fics; in fact, it was through perusing her Tumblr that I came to the radical realization that I love shorter fics over larger ones. Her AUs are probably her best work, period, especially if you like to-the-point stories that speak pages of meaning through a handful of words. I have (probably) all of skuls’s fics saved, but my favorites are her tiny fics on Tumblr. I fear everyday they shall be nuked into the void. (Updated: I copy-pasted them all into Google Docs, so I’m prepared for the apocalypse. >:) )

IVF Christmas is that fic that will get me goofy smiling every. single. time. Can’t help myself-- must include quote and summary: 

“...But when she gets back, she finds Maggie and Mulder engaged in polite conversation, probably spurred on by the fact that he’s been in an incredibly good mood since some time this morning. He keeps catching her eyes over Maggie’s shoulder and grinning dopily. Scully smiles back.”

Scully and Mulder have just celebrated positive IVF news; and Scully, due to fly out to Cali that morning with Maggie, cannot leave Mulder behind. What follows are poignant one-off moments throughout their trip. The dialogue is stupendous. skuls is blessed with the ability to use every. tiny. detail. to flesh out her characters into fully formed, realistic people.  This fic is tiny in size, but mighty in content. Many a longer fic has paled in comparison to this giant.

@baronessblixen (Ao3) 

I cannot remember if I found skuls or Baroness Blixen first; but they were the anchors that locked me into this wonderfully varied world of stories. I DO know Baroness (or Anika) is the sweetest responder to anons, and got me interested in opening my own blog. I have no idea which of her fics I read first (except that it was either IVF or S8); so there’s nothing specific to link. Her fics cover all fic genres, all XF eras, all possible ins and outs. To pick just one is a crime; but I had to settle on Five Minutes (Ao3)--

���It’s time.

“I took one five minutes ago.”

“Oh,” he says. Then, once realization kicks in, his eyes grow wide. “Oh!”” 

--because it’s the perfect pair to skul’s above IVF fic. 

(Also: if I remember correctly, this is her favorite fic: a perfect blend of complex, unavoidable pain and happy endings for Mulder, Scully, and Will on the run.) 

@wexleresque/hllsteeth 

I can’t remember how or when I found hllsteeth’s fics; but she has Mulder’s special brand of snark and Scully’s subtle duality down to a science. My heart immediately knit itself onto her stars fic; and I had a mini heart attack when I lost it briefly-- but LO AND BEHOLD, I have recovered it! (She’s currently writing an AU for Requiem that captures S1 Mulder and Scully to a T. Highly recommend.)

““You said you’d take him for the next two weeks,” his mother hisses into the phone from the kitchen, hardly making an effort to conceal her voice. “What am I supposed to do now, Bill?”

Fox plays with the frayed edge of his t-shirt as he sits on the stairs and listens. Upstairs, his well-worn suitcase is stuffed full of the necessities for two weeks at his father’s Vineyard house. He should be on his way there by now, listening to the sound of his father spitting sunflower seeds out the window as they carve through the New England roads. According to his mother, there’d been a hold up, something about his father’s job and a meeting with the Secretary of State. Thinking back to the feeble explanation, Fox snorts and shakes his head. He’s heard that particular line half a dozen times by now.”

This is brilliant. Mulder’s intelligence and miserable affectation in the face of his parents’ bitter back-and-forth is incredibly well-depicted. Bill’s and Tena’s emotional neglect of their son is more powerful than other fics I’ve read, which are peppered with overt physical abuse. This speaks to that cold vein of an upper-crust, older generation, where disapproval is a defter weapon than a fist. Mulder going through the motions for his father’s sake is so poignant that it hooked me forever on fanfic. (Lost this once and was immediately heartsick.) 

These authors are the ride-or-die for me. Every piece they’ve written is nuanced and worth its weight in gold. But, more importantly, without them I would never have ventured into fic as entertainment, or spent a year elbows-deep into the guts of Ao3, Gossamer, and Tumblr mini-fics. May they live forever.

This was long-winded-- rest assured, from here on out my posts will be far tidier and far less rambly.

Enjoy!