#ive watched two documentaries about it

[aroace-cat-lady]

Okay I hate my brain cuz half of it is thinking about how hard the next few years (if not decades) are gonna be for all of us and the other is like. Hard times create amazing bangers let's go. Like stfu not the time.

[cheeseatlantic]

hi baby bells, or cheese factory tourists… ive come to feed you animal knowledge in the form of tooth-rotting ghost x reader fluff, today are PRARIE VOLESSSSS

Tipsy activities with Simon would include making out, celebrity gossip where you would blab about and he would listen or drunkenly make food which tasted either really bad or really good, no in between. But today you unlocked a new tipsy activity, watching animal documentaries together.

You were curled up next to Simon, wearing one of his old shirts and a random pair of underwear, a blanket wrapped tightly around you with a bowl of chips in your lap. Simon nursed a whiskey, oddly enough but it was 10 PM, reasonable time. Whatever. You were stressed out the entire fucking day, hence why you had a few drinks.

His mask was left forgotten on the coffee table as the both of you stared at the television, the star of the episode today were prairie voles, you’d learned now thanks to National Geographic that prairie voles are extremely affectionate animals. They sense when their partner is stressed then shower them in affection, just like you and Simon.

The scene switched to two voles grooming each other and you giggled and elbowed Simon in his side gently to get his attention, when you felt his eyes on you, you grinned. “That’s literally us.” You spoke, jutting your chin to the screen as he looked at the screen and chuckled. “Aye, that’s us.” He spoke. “Let’s recreate that scene, hm?” He added.

He snatched the bowl of popcorn off your lap and put it on the coffee table next to his mask as he pulled you onto his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist, his touch gentle. He leaned in and started peppering kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders as you giggled. “Simon!” You playfully scolded, trying to squirm away but his hold on you tightened.

“Hm?” He hummed, smiling away as you grinned like an idiot, continuing his affection shower. Alcohol made him a lot more affectionate than usual, sober Simon was affectionate of course but tipsy Simon was so much more lovey with you. He was like a big lovebird, you debated at least weekly to get him drunk so that he’d shower you with love.

“You’re so stupid.” You slurred as he snorted and kept kissing you, and not an inch of skin was left unloved, and it never would be as long as you had him. Somehow a big muscle wall of a soldier could transform into your own big stupid prairie vole, only for you.

guys i love animals :)3)3)36364)):632)&4!:$2

[undercovercameron]

stamina

summary: you have a tiny bit of an issue that can only be resolved through intercourse. no, really.

notes: hello everybody i have returned after a month and a half and this one just simply popped into my head today! i would say i have no idea why but ive been watching clips of the other zoey on tiktok and they’ve corrupted me… cabin in the woods with drew starkey? till the walls crumble. features: choking kink, explicit language, degradation, oral sex (f receiving), masturbation, and generally rough sex. enjoy my darlings

tags: rafe cameron x fem!reader

word count: 2859

You don’t know exactly when it started, but your little problem had become a real nuisance.

You just know the first time it happened, however long ago, made Rafe Cameron finally fall in love with you. Hey, it took months of him fighting with himself about you and struggling with a multitude of other family issues, but the day did finally come. It was glorious, you remember that. But this long repeated issue was kind of impeding your sex life. Well, it was affecting your sex life that actually had been affecting your sleep and caffeine and food patterns. It was a big ole circle. You even had been feeling faint due to the excessive cardio.

The issue wasn’t as much an issue as it was one of Rafe’s favorite things about you, turns out. And he wasn’t afraid to show it. Well, make you show it.

You two had dozed on the couch for a little more than an hour, your head pressed to his shoulder and your body curled around the side of his. He had an arm caging you to him, fingers splayed across the curve of your abdomen. Turns out, some documentary his younger sister recommended wasn’t as interesting as you two thought.

The TV makes a loud beeping noise, and Rafe jerks awake at the intrusion. His hand not pressed to your (now exposed) stomach rubs at his eyes, blinking rapidly. Christ. It’s late.

The fire beneath your TV crackles, and he can feel the slight warmth from it on his cheeks.

This was his Aunt Meredith’s house, and she was letting the two of you stay in it for a little while as a makeshift fall break. You’d slept three nights so far in this big wooden mansion, but you could hardly say you felt rested. You always were taking futile catch-up naps throughout the day in front of this lovely fireplace.

Rafe’s movement makes you phase into consciousness, eyes coming into focus as your ears adjust too.

“Hey, baby,” he murmurs, stretching both his hands up above his head. The hem of his shirt lifts, just a little taste. You blink at him. “What?” His face splits into a grin and his eyes close as his muscles flex and relax.

“You know what.” Your lips twitch and you look teasingly up at him.

“Mm, I don’t think I know what you mean.” His hand brushes the hair from the side of your face not facing him, and he pulls away slightly to thumb at your chin. “Could you explain?”

“No,” you sigh, pulling yourself up slightly with a hand pressed to the seat cushions. Your leg curls once again around one of his as you turn towards him. You relax against the back cushions, eyes on his face. “No.” Your eyebrows raise, challenging.

“I don’t think you want me to have to make you explain,” he mutters, sliding down to a little above your eye level. His eyes stay on yours.

“I don’t think you could if you wanted to.” Your eyes snap back to the TV, pulling your legs away from his. “I’m trying to watch this.” You grab the remote from the ottoman and turn it up. Rafe just watches you earnestly.

You're about sixty long seconds into “watching the documentary” with your feet up until you feel Rafe’s breath on you. His lips meet your forehead, ghosting a kiss to your skin, before sliding down to your temple. You try your best to remain focused. But his opposite hand from you (always his hand) slides up your waist to settle near your collarbone, fingers lightly pressing into your shoulder. His lips migrate to your jaw, and then your neck. You fight a shiver.

You feel yourself tilting your head around to satisfy this position, eyes falling closed briefly before snapping back open. You grip his wrist.

“Rafe,” you say, but what you thought was confident just sounds weak.

He hums, mouth pressing to your neck and getting into dangerous hickey territory, and your eyes just close. It feels so good, this man leaving you breathless and pliant. It makes you so weak.

“You know you want to,” Rafe murmurs, eyes moving up to your face, and he relishes in your intake of breath.

Your fingers find his jaw and cheek and you pull his mouth up to yours, finally kissing him like you need. He makes a noise into your mouth, triumphant, and his hands grip your hips tightly. He moves you, sliding you onto the long part of the L sofa, and follows you with his forehead pressed to yours and his lips so close but so far. You pant up into him.

He slides further between your legs, parting them with a hand behind your knee, and you let out a content sigh when you feel the weight of him. The weight of that.

His hand finds your throat and then he’s leaning over you, hips pressed to yours and kissing away your sounds softly. His hips rock forward into where the seam of your sweatpants is, and your moan is swallowed. You grip tight on the hand on your neck, squeezing your eyes tight. It shouldn’t feel this good, this quick.

You cant your hips up into his, sloppily matching his rhythm, and your cheeks flush when your heart beats heavily in your throat. His mouth parts from yours and slides wetly down to your upper chest, the neck of your slightly cropped sweatshirt pushed away. You just gasp above him, hips picking up. The slide of his pants is so perfect on your clit, and you feel your blood pumps at the place he squeezes you around your middle.

You recognize what he’s doing, now. His fingers press into your abdomen, pushing it up and down and up and down, and you push your hand on top of your mouth to muffle the embarrassing cries you’re letting out.

His head raises from your collarbone, lips wet and pink, and he tugs your wrist down.

“I need to hear you, baby.” And then he’s pulling back to shove your sweatpants off of you and to the floor between the couch and the ottoman. He dips back down, mouth and hand insistent upon you, and he digs a hand into the crotch of your underwear. Your hands flail for a moment, useless, and settle on gripping his shoulder and the arm that pins you to the cushions.

“Rafe,” you sputter, head pushing hard back against the cushions. Your hair is messy and probably tangled with this friction, but you don’t have even half a thought to care. “Please, Rafe, don’t stop.” Your back arches, trying to push your body tight against his. He tries not to grin above you, watching your face contort at his touch. His fingers slide in your slickness, an embarrassing amount, and your throat catches a breath. The tension in your abdomen twists.

“I thought you wanted to watch the show, sweetheart.” Two of his fingertips push past your slit easily and curl. He bites his lip above you, loving the look on your face. You squeeze your eyes even harder, fist clenching in his shirt. Your heart beats louder and louder until—

“And we’re going to practice your stamina, too.” His voice is raspy when he pulls away.

There it is. The issue. Your not-so-issue-but-sorta-an-issue issue. Yes. You had been having trouble—well, stopping. Your libido was extremely high, you had a very sexy man at your disposal who liked to please you, you were confident in your body, so why not?

Why not is because your body was sore constantly. Between your legs was the perfect amount of sore, but still sore. You had trouble sleeping and drank more coffee and energy drinks. Rafe, ever the giver, obliged you always. He liked to fuck. He really liked to fuck you. So it was a terrible, terrible cycle. You were really starting to wonder about your self control. So it makes sense that maybe you should consider working on it.

But Rafe deciding that right now? The second he finally fingers you? It makes your head spin.

Literally, as when you sit up your vision is flooded with spots.

“What the fuck?” You croak, sounding miserable, and your eyes look up at him, almost teary. (Hey— you really like what he does to you.)

“You’re fine, baby, you’re fine. I just want what’s best for you.” He pulls away from your neck, instead smoothing a hand from your sternum to your hips.

“What are you, a fucking counselor?” You grump, eyebrows furrowed, and he just rolls his eyes.

“Better start being grateful, Y/N. You know how I get.”

He settles onto his stomach, keeping your legs loose around him as he bends to kiss you. You kiss back, still annoyed but also still wildly turned on, and you can’t help but curl a hand around his neck and up into his hair. His lips part from yours and start their trek downwards.

His hands push your sweatshirt up when he gets to right above your belly button, and his touch is light on your sensitive skin. You close your eyes in the nice feeling.

His fingers curl around where your thigh meets your ass, pressing tight into the muscle, and you reflexively lift them up and settle them down onto his shoulders. Sneaky. His mouth finds your inner thighs then, biting into the flesh, and you successfully fight a shiver. His breath is hot on the crotch of your panties.

His fingers find the hem of the fabric, eyes settling briefly on yours before tugging your panties to the side and getting his mouth on you.

You immediately moan— figures. You push your head up slightly, wanting to see, and his head shakes between your legs, hair tickling your thighs as you whine. So hot it should be illegal.

One of Rafe’s hands crawls up your flesh to your chest, fingers finding the underside of your tit and cupping it. He squeezes right as his tongue curls into your seam and he shakes his head again. You nearly shriek but slap.a hand over your mouth, no punishment in your future with his hand on your tit and the other gripping your outer thigh.

Well, you were wrong for the second time tonight. First, thinking your loving boyfriend would give you an orgasm when you wanted one, and second when you assume the same very boyfriend wouldn’t do things simply to piss you off or edge you. Rafe reaches up with the hand previously on your thigh and grabs your wrist. He snags the other one and presses them tight against your lower abdomen, eyes fiery. Your blood surges hot in your veins and the tension in your abdomen resurfaces.

You just flex your legs and bring them further up, wanting your seemingly increasingly distant misery to end.

He hums in approval at that, the feeling making your pelvis vibrate; and you try desperately to suck in a breath. It feels so good, you don’t know how to last longer. Your head slowly tilts to the side, a little tired, and your glazed eyes meet the TV screen again.

Your third folly. Thinking Rafe Cameron would let you live any mistake down.

“Oh, you wanna watch it now?” He pulls away, spitting at your pussy, and an eyebrow quirks. You just still, not sure of the direction here. “Okay. Watch it.” He licks you once, twice, and pulls away slowly. You turn your head, wanting to gauge his reaction, but he pushes your head back towards the TV with his hand. You see in your peripheral him pushing down the waistband of his pants. Your eyes flinch ever so slightly towards him, and he smacks lightly at your outer thigh.

“Watch it, since you wanted to so bad.” He pulls his dick out from his underwear and spits into his hand. His gaze is locked on your pink face, waiting for you to react. He moves his hand tantalizingly slowly, knowing you can see the movement. You pant, catching your breath, and he just watches your chest heave.

His heart rate catches when he gets the full sight of you, open and wide in front of him with dirty panties and your sweatshirt rucked up to expose your bare chest. It makes him even harder.

“What are they talking about right now?” His eyes bore into the side of your face, hand moving steadily still.

“Uh-h, whales.” Your voice cracks and you swallow. He doesn’t laugh like you think he will, he just bends down and kisses the corner of your mouth.

“Doing so good.” It’s so quiet you think you miss it. He kisses you full on when you tilt up to him, neck straining at the angle.

He finally, finally pushes his weight onto you, dick pressed tight against your pelvis. You meet his mouth again and groan at the feeling, moving your body in a way you hope feels good. His jaw clenches, which is a good sign.

“You do it, you want it so bad,” he murmurs, lips hovering over your cheek bone. “Since you can’t ever have enough, baby.”

You exhale through your nose, concentrating, and push your hand down. You fumble for a second but eventually get your hips angled in a way to where he can sink into you. He does, pushing against your hips, and slides easily all the way to the hilt.

He groans openly, eyes closed for a moment, and you choke on a moan. So deep, so fast that it steals the breath from your throat.

On second thought, Rafe’s hand finds its place on your throat as the other braces against your hip.

“So wet,” he says through his apparent awe, bottom lip drooping slightly. You revel in the look on his face. He’s all pink and dewy, it makes you sweat. He pushes forward, a bruising strength in his hips, and you feel yourself be pushed up an inch on the couch.

He follows you and lowers himself slightly, keeping you in place as he jerks sloppily into you, overwhelmed by sensation. You curl your leg around his waist, fingers interwoven in his hair as he dips to kiss you. He pants into your mouth, hot and demanding. You just arch your back, feeling him squeeze hard at the flesh of your waist as you clench around him.

You do it again, loving the reaction, and bite your lip as he chokes slightly in surprise. His hips slow, the sounds of your hurried panting slowing as well, but he goes twice as hard. With the intent to bruise, you think. Probably. He would love that.

His eyebrow arches slightly before he’s burying his face in your neck and really giving you his all. You feel the muscles flex on his back where you press your hands, mouth open and wide and silent. Your eyes roll back into your head as he lets go of your neck and fixes his grasp on your hip.

“Rafe,” you gasp, barely getting a comprehensible sound out. “Yes, shit, baby.” Your man, finally treating you so well.

“Let me hear you,” he says, hot in your ear, and reaches down to rub that one spot he’s memorized the location of. He’s a little too familiar, as we know.

You inhale and exhale shakily, and then you’re silent and your head is pushing back into the cushions. Your body floods with feeling, from the tip of your toes to the top of your head. Your toes curl. You feel like you’re floating.

It’s on the come down that you moan shakily and it turns into a bashful laugh.

“Fuck,” you whine, and his thrust turns into his last as he buries himself up to the hilt and groans in a staccato. You feel him catch your shoulder slightly as he bites the cushion, muscles slowing.

“Fuck.” He desperately tries to catch his breath. He peels himself slightly from you, sitting up.

His vision comes back into focus, and it’s then that he notices the marks on your neck. He thumbs an especially red one, eyes scanning your face.

“Oops.”

“You’re an idiot.” But you smile.

“Hey, we traded,” he says, pulling away completely from you and standing up with a stumble. He winces as he pushes his shoulder blades to meet.

“How’s that?” You ask, thinking you’re humoring him. You sit up, bringing your now cold and damp panties back to where they should lie and pulling your shirt down. You’re just realizing how cold it is in here.

“My back hurts like a bitch, and you have hickeys. Plus I didn’t let you cum so we practiced that. Boom.” He gestures wildly and lets his hands smack back down to his sides. You just stare at him.

“You are the weirdest motivational coach I’ve ever met, young man.”

“Don’t call me a young man.” He turns towards the primary bedroom you’d been sleeping in and disappears into the darkness. “I fuck like I’m 35.”

[cloudyskydreams]

sans/pap AUs with a S/O who smokes pot??

Like they hear them coughing up a lung from the other room and when they go to check it out they find that their S/O has hotboxed the room:D

(not sure how u feel about weed, so if this makes u uncomfortable, just ignore meee<3333)

p.s. I love how u portray them sm!! none of that US sans infantilization crap<3

Ahh ive actually been waiting for this to be requested!! I myself am a stoner(smoking while writing this lol) and I hc that our lovely Stretch is one as well even though I am aware it's not canon.

Hope you guys enjoy these as much as I did imagining them

★・・★・・★・・★・・★・・★・・★・・★

Undertale:

Sans:

He was coming to see what you wanted to get for takeout for dinner and when he opened the door the smell of weed blasts him in his non-existent nose and he's surrounded by smoke. Takes one look at you and sighs affectionately as he opens the windows to let the smoke out. "could've gone outside." He teases he knows what a hotbox is and that that's what you were doing. Snuggles up close to you and brings up the prospect of food as he brushes his distills through your hair. He might take a hit or two if you offer, he's not a big stoner but it's not like he's never smoked before. Doesn't really bother him that you smoke does prefer if you do it outside so the place doesn't reek but if you keep it to one room that also works.

Papyrus:

You had been in the bathroom for awhile and Papyrus was getting worried. When he knocked on. the door he heard some clatter behind it and waited patiently as he called out. "MY DEAR ARE YOU OKAY?" The utter shock on his face when he's absolutely violated by that dank ass smell and hit with a puff of smoke when you open the door with the widest grin and red eyes. I feel like Papyrus absolutely owns a D.A.R.E shirt so you can imagine he's a little disappointed but he knows now is not a good time to talk about it. Gets you a nice cup of cold water to drink and turns on a documentary that he'll listen to as you watch. He's gonna be taking care of chores but checking up on you every 15 minutes or so. Will absolutely nag at you when you sober up but he's not gonna force you to stop just…take it outside next time.

Underfell:

Red:

Was finding you for some cuddles and found you blitzed out of your mind puffing on a joint as the room is filled with smoke. He chuckles and gives you a affectionate grin as he looks over your intoxicated state. "looks like yer havin some fun doll". Gets you something to drink and something to munch on before cuddling up next to you and turning on a movie as he gently prys the joint from your grip. He will absolutely smoke with you and will probably ask to join if he finds you already smoking. He's more of a drinker than a stoner but he'll start smoking a bit more if you do.

Edge:

The utter disgust thats expressed on his face when he smells weed. He's immediately nagging you. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" He glares at you through narrowed sockets and then remembers all the times he tried to talk to Stretch or Red when they were smoking together and sighs. He knows nows not the time and shelves his disappointment and anger and leads you to the couch. Gets you some water and watches over you as he gently rubs your head occasionally glancing at whatever you turned on. He's very passive aggressive at first when you sober up and then comes the nag fest. Does not like the smell and doesn't want it in the house so your designated smoke spot is now outside. He knows he can't make you stop and honestly it's legalized and he doesn't really care since you're not breaking any laws, he was really just upset you had it inside his nice clean house. Had like 17 scented candles lit the night you hotboxed that room and was glaring at you while he lit them.

Underswap:

Blue:

Has a here we go again moment when he's hit full force with the smell of weed and your dopey grin. Memories of his first time catching a young stretch smoking flits through his mind. He doesn't chastise you and instead grins and gives you a quick peck. "HELLO LOVELY ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF?" He's gonna make sure you have a good high he knows people have their own reasons for smoking and assumes you have yours like his brother has is and doesn't really question it. I'm in between on if he'd smoke or not I feel like he'd try it after being curious for a bit but I don't think he'd be a stoner. Would plan that shit out and makes what he gets from dispensaries last MONTHS because he simply doesn't smoke like that.

Stretch:

Now stretch DOES smoke like that. Not even fazed when he opens the door to your hotbox. "awh honey you didn't invite me?" Grabs his own stuff so he can contribute to the sesh and you guys smoke together. Lazy high cuddles and silly questions that turn into philosophical conversations. Absolutely loves smoking with you having a SO who's a stoner isn't a must but it's a huge bonus. Actually starts to plan dates like edibles and the aquarium or walks through the woods with joints, a picnic where he gifts you flower instead of of flowers and such.

Horrortale:

Axe:

Confused when he opens the door to the smell of weed and smoke. Poor baby at first thinks there's a fire and is looking around for it until he sees what you have in your hands. He relaxes slightly upon seeing the bong and heads over your way. "…had me scared lamb" he mutters as he curls up around you and starts to purr. Always carries snacks on him so your munchies are good. Will get you anything you ask for water, food, blankets ect. Now I feel like since he already has memory problems we shouldn't be giving axe weed… but he absolutely got into your edibles one time and destroyed the entire batch. When you told him what they were he just starts laughing. Would not leave your side once the high kicked in and start carrying you everywhere like a doll. Ended up going for a walk in the woods for like 4 hours because he kept getting distracted by literally everything. Don't even get me started on his munchies. So no Axe isn't a stoner but I feel like an edible every now and then he would absolutely do.

Willow:

Not as disappointed as Papyrus surprisingly. A little disappointed still when he comes face to face with your hot box and opens the windows to clear the room as he shakes his head. Makes you something to eat real quick and gets you something to drink. Has you in his lap as you guys watch a documentary. He's pretty much down for any wacky adventure you might want to go on in this state and he will absolutely be joining you worried about your safety. Willow could be convinced to try edibles especially since it would help with his chronic pain and it doesn't really bother him that you smoke as long as you're doing it in moderation. (he will step in if he thinks you're getting dependant on the substance(all of them would))

[julzrulz]

Midoriya learns urinal etiquette

˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

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NSFW WARNING 18+

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LMAOOOO IVE BEEN GONE FOR 3 YEARS missed yall<33

Shessss backkkkkkkkk -sexy red

Anyway how is everyone? How’s tumblr doing? we still give af abt mha smut?

I hope y’all do bc I’m coming back to all my drafts and I had some good stuff!! this one’s kinda funnn! Lmk how we feel abt it ofc apologies for any spelling and grammar errors she’s rusty as hell

Male bodied reader!! I asked for a dick for Christmas and didn’t get one sad face emoji

Anyway, following deku to the bathroom and giving him a “hand” at the urinal oops

Rating: R (Restricted, 18 and Up permitted, sexual content)

Pairings: Sub! Deku x Dom! Masc! Reader

CW: Smut, handjob (character recieveing), lowkey piss (?) sorry not sorry, publicish, kinda pushy reader but deku likes it, pet names, no aftercare, humiliation

Notes: Gender neutral pronouns, male bodied reader, characters aged up to 3rd years 18+

You and izuku have been hooking up for quite a while now and of course his only ask from you when you guys started this whole thing was to not tell anyone. Bummer. You would love nothing more than for the entire school to see just what you do to the popular, shy, but strong third year.

The way you can make him come so undone beneath you, how much of a whimpering mess he can be. It’s quite beautiful really. He’s not so shy when he’s with you, if he was you wouldn’t have discovered just how flexible this boy was— you’re thoughts are broken when Aizawa finally shuts off that stupid hero documentary that was playing for the last hour. It supposedly was very important but you’ve been staring at a particular greenette the entire time.

He must’ve been the biggest fan of the doc Aizawa played, in fact, he was probably the only one who paid attention. You couldn’t stop watching how his feet were bouncing underneath his desk— cute, was he doing that because he was excited from the documentary? Usually you’re the only one able to get him that excited. No… he’s also hunched over and alittle squirmy? You can see how he’s grabbing at the desk too… weird what’s he thinking right now?.

Izuku’s hand shoots straight up as soon as there’s a break in Aizawa’s recap about the film we just watched. Aizawa, in the most mono tone voice “Yes Midoryia?”

Izuku quickly asks if he can use the bathroom. Oh you get it now he must’ve been holding it the entire doc to be so desperate. It’s almost—hot.

Of course izuku is still the only person who raises his hand for this kind of thing. Aizawa has made it pretty clear as third years we can just leave to go relieve ourselves.

With a sigh and reminder that he doesn’t need to hear about it, Aizawa dismisses izuku.

You don’t normally follow izuku to the bathroom, infact you never have before. But maybe all the day dreaming you were doing during the documentary has made you quite excited. And maybe there’s a little less blood in ur head. And maybe now the room is too hot and your pants are too tight. Before you know it you’re out of ur chair and in the hallway walking to the direction of the nearest bathroom.

When you walk in you can see izuku standing at one of the urinal stalls with his back towards you. After a bit of shuffling from izuku you start to hear the sound of trickling liquid on porcelain. With a slight sigh he throws his head back— obviously quite pleased with his release. Those two movements are very familiar to you… but normally caused by a very different type of release.

One quick scan of the bathroom being dead empty and you’re walking up to izuku. The back of his head hits your chest and you instinctively grab his waist and pull it towards you.

“What the-mHUH?” Izuku tenses and looks all the way up to see your face peering down at him. His face is red and he shuffles slightly obviously to try and cover himself, however with his dick in his hands and the stream of piss still steady— it’s not working out for him.

“Hey” you say with a smirk, it’s funny really he’s such a strong and talented hero but he’s so small underneath you.

“I—I I’m kinda busy y/n” he says voice quiet and wavering. He sounds unsure, confused, and very very very flustered.

“Relax would you… nothing I haven’t seen before” you’re lying, kinda, you’ve very much seen every inch of him but definitely not pissing. You can feel the humiliation radiating off of him while he squirms in ur grasp. You bury you nose in his hair, intoxicating his sent. God you love that smell, your breaths become deeper and you pull his hips so his ass backs up into you.

You hear a quiet whine escape him and you let out quite the huff. He already knows you’re as stiff as a rock, for *some* reason you always are around him. But he’s definitely confused how him being at a urinal is helping this any.

You slowly grind against his ass, there are many of layers of fabric in between you too but that doesn’t seem to faze you much.

“R-really you couldn’t wait untill later… what’s coming over y-you?” He’s a stuttering babbling mess, still shuffling in place and swapping glances between you, his dick sitting heavy in his hands and the bathroom door. He’s nervous about being so public— this is definitely a strange view, he wouldn’t be able to explain it away at all. And embarrassed is an understatement, this shy green haired boy definitely never wanted to see the day he’s watched so intensely while pissing and to make it worse he can’t seem to stop. He had to go so so bad.

He couldn’t be more humiliated while ur eyes seemed to be locked on him relieving himself. Your dick is twitching in your pants seeing how humiliated the boy is, face red and eyes wet and beaty.

His whirthing and whining comes to a screeching hault and he lets out a sharp gasp when your hand slowly warps around his.

“Y/n whyyy— p-please not now” izuku whines under his breath, eyes darting to the bathroom door. His dick is hot and firm from the strength of his stream. This you can confidently say you’ve never done before.

There’s no one there, you know there will be no one there, it’s the middle of class and around this stressful time of year people who have any sense stay in their seat.

After what seems like an eternity his stream starts to trickle to a stop. Both of your breaths are heavy and you can tell izuku is trying very hard to distract himself from your hand wrapped around his. That and the grinding you’re doing from behind.

“Okay w-we can go now” He’s quick to try to let go but you react by griping him tighter.

“-ngh” it’s hard to keep his mind off anything now with the grip you have on him. You can feel his legs get weak. With a particular hard thrust from you he stumbles forward, using both his hands to grip to the sides of the urinal to stop him from falling anymore forward. With one of your hands still tight on the hip the other starts to make teasing touches at his growing erection.

You give him a little squeeze and a drop of urine leaks out from his slit. You’re quick to use that little moisture while you slowly start to fist his length. It’s not perfect but you know it won’t be long until he leaks enough pre to replace it.

“Ugh- f-ffuck y/n” the boy whimpers hands still glued at opposite ends of the urinal. His slightly bent over position isn’t helping him any if he wants to stop, your rock hard length still grinding against his clothed ass.

“Y/n I wanna go back to class please” his voice is wavering it’s so cute he’s trying so hard to be quiet. “W-what if someon-nnghh walks in”

“Shhh izuku relax baby” you plant open mouthed kisses all over the back of his neck, your grinding not stopping for a second and neither is your pumping. The pet name makes his face red. You speed up the pace and it pulls a loud gasp from izuku.

“Ff-fughh mmhf” your pace is ruthless and the poor boy is practically shaking underneath you. The hand on his hip reaches up and pulls hard on his hair throwing his head back. His mouth is hung open pouring out all sorts of desperate noises. Your mouth finally leaves his neck and you lick a stripe up to his ear.

“Yea, you like that don’t you?” your deep raspy voice whispers in his ear in between grunts.

“Hhgff” is all izuku makes out. You give him a squeeze and he squeaks in response.

“Use your words” your breath is hot on izukus neck and it’s almost dizzying to the boy beneath you.

“Y-yes yes I like it nghh” izuku is almost drooling, your pace is ruthless, hand wet and sticky from his precum. You’re boxing him into the little stall, so big around him that no one would even notice he was here if they did walk in.

“And you wanted to go back to class… pft— you’re so easy izuku” you taunt. Izuku’s eyes close head still thrown back looking up at you. Sweat starts to form on the boys forehead. You let go of his green locs and slip ur arm underneath his UA uniform shirt.

“I bet you would’ve just let anyone come up behind you huh?” Your fingers trace up his torso until you meet his small hard nipples, pinching and playing with them between your fingers. He whines at both your comment and action. You’re special to him, you know that. There’s no way no one is as close to this boy as you are even if no body but the two of you know it.

He’s practically mewling now, desperate moans, gasps, and whines progressively getting louder filling this empty bathroom. You’re so good to him. So rough at just the right times. You’ve mastered his body and know exactly how to play within his limits.

“Y/n— nghh I- you feel so good oh god” Izuku’s head falls forward leaning against the cold bathroom tiled wall. His grip never wavering from the sides of the urinal below him fearing his knees might give out.

“You gonna cum baby? Huh? Aren’t you supposed to be in class… Tsk tsk” you can help your teasing “Aizawa is probably so confused where such a good student has been for the last 10 minutes” izuku responds with a drawn out whine… he loves when you call him that.

“I- oh oh shit y/n— nghhhh mph I’m-” with a long and loud drawn out moan Izuku’s whole body shakes and convulses.

Izuku cums and cums hard splurting all over the porcelain urinal beneath him. You’re careful to angle his dick towards it to not leave any evidence on his clothing.

His dick twitches sporadically as you continue to pump his length, god he’s cumming so much. You ring a few careful circles around his nipple before releasing it and tracing your hand back down to his hip. Pumping the last of Izuku’s cum from his abused dick you let go of him.

Izuku lets out a sharp inhale when your hand leaves him, only for it to be silenced when you bring your hand towards his mouth. He knows what that means, you’ve trained him well and he’s so good for you.

He starts to slowly lick at your hand and fingers cleaning it as good as he can.

You look down at your own length straining against your pants against Izuku’s clothed behind. With a small grind of your hips you let out a strained grunt.

“Y-y/n?” You can hear the nervousness in his voice you know what he’s thinking, are you sure more?… No, not now, you both have already been here long enough.

“Just wait until tonight” you say with a huff and a sly tone to your voice. You’re gonna ruin him for riling you up. Removing your hands and taking a step back from the smaller boy. With a swift spank on his ass you turn and walk out of the bathroom. Izuku gasps with the force of your hand and whimpers at the loss of your warmth, still coming down from his high.

A quick fix of your stiff manhood makes your raging boner less obvious as you walk back to class. Leaving a sweaty and spent izuku huffing and puffing in the urinal stall, feeling so blissed out and used.

*flush <3*

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰! 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐲!

( ˘ ³˘)♥

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for threatening to become a girl's step dad to troll her into blocking me and stop dragging me in a group chat ? Jenny (23F) blew up because I (24NB) said she'd be a shitty social worker bc of her specific autism symptoms + class bg. My gf (45F) said it was warranted because of how  overwhelmed i got by the wall of text with triggering details of my abuse. I never told my GF that the fight started because Jenny called me a gold digger. I also never mentioned that I ended it an hour later by posting pics of Jenny's mom in the chat, ignoring her ranting and discussing the vacancy left by her dead dad*, and how i could fill said vacancy. 😬😬😬 Might of gone too far with this one.

Backstory: I lived with Jenny when I was houseless indefinitely. She only let me stay for two weeks because it would be too "distracting" to her studies. Jenny was incredibly rich, didn't work, and her parents paid her rent for a 2 bedroom. She admitted she got rejected from every grad school she applied to except for the one her mom was in charge of. Her mom bought her a condo in the city the school was in. She kept asking me how she should decorate it, completely ignorant to how uncomfortable this made me and my other friends. Jenny was oblivious constantly to how she made others feel. She was actually the most incompetent person I've ever met in terms of comforting other, always tone deaf and completely absorbed with her own, single traumatic event. She made constant jokes about the abuser I was fleeing and even compared this stalked to a /serial killer/ documentary she watched, but never EVER showed any signs of internalizing how I almost lost my life to another person, how that might affect me or even just bum me out. Seriously, I've never met someone else who was so incapable of even being sensitive to issues that were /EXTREMELY SERIOUS/. Forget comforting, the stuff she routinely said to me and my other friends to try to cheer us up was beyond degrading. It was wearing on me a lot.

Jenny herself was neurodivergent. She often said her autism prevented her from understanding the feelings others had, reading their expressions, and tolerating crying or loud noise-- she forbid her musician roommate from doing both. None of those mean shes a worthless person, but all of those things would make someone a horrible therapist or social worker. Oh my God, literally every time I talked about my recent trauma, she would talk about herself and then blame her autism when I told her it just wasn't helping.

The final piece of this was I had a nervous breakdown and screamed at her over discord that she was a shit friend and needed to give up on social work, for like an hour. NOT MY PROUDEST, but I ALMOST DIED. I was living with her because SOMEONE WAS STALKING ME. and I would have liked to not have my abuse JOKED about. HOW DID JENNY RESPOND!? She began dragging me, through the mud, in the group chat, for, dating, an, older, woman, who, paid, for, my, air bnb, because, !!!she!!! wouldn't let me live with her for more than a week. I was HOMELESS. It became all about "OP you are such a b*tch, you are with a woman twice your age and she pays for everything now but you are still a miserable and angry person. You are so blah blah blah you are an ableist, you said I can't become a social worker bc of autism blah blah blah you have major major issues, Go back your rich granny and leech off of her you useless, fucked up little gold digger."

U_U Then, she started graphically describing how I deserved my abuse, so I shrimply began to troll. And yes, I pulled out my magnum oppus like fucking playing blue eyes white dragon, oh yeah I slipped her a pristine Jenny's mom facebook photo and said "Hey you never said your mom was so cute. Maybe, I could leech off her next and become your new dad." Yes, her dad died.* She blocked me immediately. Its OK. It was knives out for Jenny as soon as my GF gifted me a pair of $700 Isabel Marant shoes** , the most EXPENSIVE thing ive ever owned in my whole life, and Jenny saw me excited and called her mom to buy her a pair. It's, absolutely OK, if I am the asshole. I wear my crown of thorns, judas that I am, but I really, really think Jenny was being cruel. *he died 18 years ago ** the shoes are no more because i fell into my gf's rich friend's koi pond

[goaskangel]

bookie!

journalist!reader x business-man!hakari

cw...NSFW, slight manipulation, mention of intox, use of "mister" "sir" "doll", dumification, degradation, all the usual smut stuff LOL

word count...4.8k

a/n...this is my first fic ive posted publicly EEEK lowk nervy but i've read like 2 good hakari fics on this mf website and i js figured i might as well do it myself. my writing here IS NOT MY BEST, i plan to indulge into how i usually write. smut is a little harder for me to write so be patient AND NICE PLZ. mdni!please understand what kind of media you are consuming and be smart about it.

just the way hakari presented himself, it felt as if even if you didn’t suspect anything from him, it was obvious he was a secretive and cocky man. from how he dressed with his constant change between pimpy-fur coats and vulgar tanks with his ever-changing colored hair between purples, blacks, and blondes, it was no surprise he must’ve lied his way to the top. 

and even with this assumption, you couldn’t deny the offer of living with him and your company's team. not necessarily living with him but staying in a private luxury hotel, and sure, maybe your job here wasn’t very important as a journalist but your boss insisted on you attending. 

what kind of moron would pass on the opportunity of possibly breaking through one of japan’s wealthiest and slyest business men anyway?

something about interviews but mostly projects, maybe even a documentary went in your ear and out the other when your boss spoke to you about the expectations on this “trip.”

after being stuck on a reserved bus, you finally manage to push through and make it to a not very deserted place. matter of fact it was right in front of a busy street in the busiest city. you stretched your legs, cracked a few fingers, and headed to the entrance of the tall—what seemed to be marbled—hotel. if you could even call it that. seemed like a resort more than anything. you were told your bags full of equipment for work and clothes for the three day project would be handled by security. the front of the building were two big guards protecting any outsiders. pretty confidential for just a few days. it stays on brand with hakari’s whole attitude, a whole ass hotel in the city only allowing a few people with specific identification. 

inside it looked like everybody from every corporate office in town had been messily dragged in.  heavy steel tables were set randomly with even heavier bags and briefcases on top, open with papers and documents spilling out. 

the man himself was sitting at one of the sturdy desks, his head down.

before you noticed that he decided to go purple, left his black blazer on the shoulders of the chair he sat on, you watched as his hand shook carefully on a paper given to him by the lady standing nearby. 

his hot pink eyes dart back and forth across the page. you assume he was looking for another place to sign because he handed it right back to her after examining. hakari returns back to a binded notebook, the pen still in his fingers. he scribbles words down vigorously. part of you wonders what he’s got going on. another part wonders where your room will be. 

you observe the rest of the lobby. you glance at your boss finally coming through security, the dumb, happy guy starts a conversation with almost everyone as he came. he calls hakari over as if they’ve known each other since the dawn of time, and he follows. they greet one another and you go blank on the rest until your name is called. quickly, you turn to face the men again and walk towards them.

"if the interview goes well—which i'm sure it will—perhaps the documentary could follow up.” your boss explains, still turnt to hakari.

“mhm oh yeah man i’m sure of it, yep.” he agrees, mooning. his white button up hugging him perfectly. 

scrunched up sleeves, pen marks on his forearms. a few buttons undone from the neck. 

“this young lady right here is the foundation of the writing department.”

“oh yeah. so i’ve read.” 

he reaches a hand out, “took you a while to say hi.” 

“you seemed busy, signing shit n’ whatnot.” you smile politely and firmly shake his hand. he cheeses a toothy grin, blue and silver gems shine back at you. 

“pardon her words, man. you know how writers are—can write page upon pages yet their mind goes blank when they have a chance to speak—hah.” your boss shines his own nervous smile. 

“ya, know what they say about business men, can talk for hours and hours, spill what seems to be almost everything, and still have secrets.” he darts his eyes to yours before closing and laughing richly with the older man. 

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you spend the rest of the night cozying up into your hotel room and lazily journaling down ideas, even scraping up an idea against hakari. you stretch your arms after tossing your notebook shut, you glance over at the alarm on the desk,

11:24 P.M. 

it would be a good time to grab a snack, now that everyone should be asleep. at least you hope so as you walk out in casual clothes. 

you toss the room’s card from hand to hand and pass quiet rooms until turning left to the snack bar. you were told earlier that food would be available for the company whenever, so you figured it must be open now too, with all the staff asleep or at their posts. 

there was an incredible aroma of columbian brew with a dash of vanilla dancing with something hot, something fresh out of the oven. you’re greeted with his strong back. shaped tightly, almost too tight, was a simple white tank. on caramel skin, his wide shoulders flexed as he took a small spoon into his mug, tossing sugar packets and singles of liquid creamers into a trash bin. but it doesn’t really phase you. what were the chances of somebody being here? let alone hakari. it’s ironic and mostly awkward. 

you could’ve left but the pastry before you was calling your name. how awkward could it really be?

you walk towards the counter he was just at, he who was walking back to a two-chaired table. 

“it’s almost midnight.” he speaks and you freeze as if you’ve been caught. obviously, you haven’t, so you quickly grabbed a floral napkin and the pastry. 

“writers stay up late, i know that. but they’re usually alone.”

“well how was i supposed to know somebody else was gonna be up? it is almost midnight.”

“you’re the one writing stories about me and talking shit, i’d assume you’d know everything about me.” he grins as he pulls a chair out, sitting in it and slowly stirring his coffee. steam swirls up from the cup. “take a seat.” 

you walk to him and pull the other chair out, sitting quietly. you break apart the food in your hands and eat it piece by piece, examining the table subtly. 

he’d been sitting there for a while; papers closed a binder with a few pens spilt around. an empty chip bag, a few crumbs near the bottom of the coffee cup, his hands warming up around it. 

his hands were nice.

you swallow casually and look back at him. “you read my stuff? which one of your little employees do you have search for works written about you, huh?” 

“i find ‘em myself, ‘nd you're lucky i don’t report them. can’t have nasty stuff circulating around me, whether if it’s true or not.” 

“—or should i call them workers instead?” you ignore him. 

“your writing is admirable.” 

something about that made you lose track of what you were saying. 

you lay back in your chair and mumble an okay. 

you watch as he takes a sip of his sugared coffee, the steam cupping his face gently and flowing up. 

“so when do you sleep?” 

“i’ll go in a couple,” he says, cracking his knuckles. “schedule’s got all fucked ever since i got here. my manager—and don’t tell her i said this—doesn’t understand the concept of time, or maybe she’s fucking with me. how can i get three hours of paperwork done, meetings between each pile, ‘nd make phone calls back to back, but can’t stay up late?” 

“damn, you’ve even got your sleep schedule sorted?” 

“gotta sneak out here like some goddamn teenager. it’s no big deal, she’s knocked out at 10. jus’ gotta keep kissing her ass and thank her for taking such good care of me. she won’t suspect a thing.” 

you giggle at the irony, “might as well be your girlfriend.” 

“god, more like my mom.” you can see the outline of his tongue grazing his teeth as he grins. probably feeling the gems on his smile, you cross your legs at the view. 

funny and handsome. 

speaking of closing your thighs—you remember you have to get back to your room. 

“we’ve got just three days,” you say as you stand from your chair, “i’m sure we’ll have to work our asses off tomorrow.” hakari looks up at you.

“hmm nobody tell you wha’s happening either?” 

you shake your head and carefully bite the inside of your lip. 

“m’kay. have a good rest of your night, then.” he nods back down and sips his coffee. his tone indicated he practically knew you weren’t sleeping immediately. to enjoy the rest of your night. 

“yeah, i’ll make sure of it. goodnight.” 

as happy as you were to receive a half-vacation, half-business trip at a hotel – the benefits of not having to wake up early just to drive almost an hour to work everyday, the entire company just being outside, your hands would not suffice. you thought to yourself earlier, how great it’d be to stay in a nice, cool room and wind down from a long day. keeping dirty fantasies in your head and just when you thought the tight, small circles on your heat could master an orgasm. but the thought of him kept interrupting. 

a hand crawling up your neck and the other circling underneath your panties. closing your eyes as you concentrated on silver-haired men kissing your breasts, guys who stunk of cigarettes and coffee making out with your clit, god anybody willing to run their hands on your body. you jolt at the sudden twitch of your cunt, your back arching slightly. you groan. the man you’ve been practically stalking and have to work with is now appearing in your head while you masturbate. you switch the bedside lamp off and take off-white sheets over yourself. 

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

on the second day, you pass new people while walking down narrow hallways. each person looking more tired than the one before. you notice just how many people could fill up the lobby and snack bar. as enticing the syrup from breakfast smelled, you keep your distance from everybody else. carefully, you lick the inner of your lips and taste the lipgloss you applied earlier. 

now popping your lips, backing up slowly, still examining the room until you feel what seems to be a pillar or wall behind you. 

“hey… you got a light?” behind you. tall, peeping over you – was that a fur coat? hakari watches everybody else almost as intently as you were. 

you stutter before reaching into your coat’s pocket, “yeah.” he takes it and quickly lights the now-appeared-cigarette of his mouth. 

“a smoke for breakfast? that can’t be healthy.” you cross your arms as he flips the lighter in the air. 

“it wouldn’t have been, hun, we had breakfast this morning already. don't you remember?” he exhales smoke that passes your jaw, making you shudder. 

“here, sounds like you need it.” he says the last part through his teeth, pinching the end of the cig and lowering it to your mouth. you glare to your side and lean in to wrap your lips around it, inhaling. you pull away and spew smoke out much more discreetly. he takes another, blowing it out, licking his lips, “tastes like bubblegum.” 

after set-ups and mic-checks in steel stools and numerous questions, you’re sitting in front of a laid-back hakari. his legs man-spread and his hands fixing his hair every other second. a very specific rage comes back to you. the same anger that you felt staying up to post blogs about complicated, but evident-filled, theories and what you truly think is the truth about the man sitting in front of you. the feeling is nostalgic. your nerves are overfilled with different emotions – since when could a man controlling so many industries, controlling so many people and still handle an underground fight club while acting like a semi-normal person? but normal people don’t wear fur-fucking-coats on the regular, let alone keep illegal ranges where people fight like bears just to be bet on like horses. 

two cups of steaming coffee are placed in the high-wooden table between you and hakari. 

“this part of the interview will be audio-presented. the second part will be videotaped.” the host of the section stands above the recorder, the rest of the crew standing around or still finishing breakfast. “etiquette for the tape is pretty simple – ‘ms and mr’ is usually set and the rest is self-explanitory.” 

you nod kindly and look at the man, meeting his eyes, ones that perhaps never left you. 

easy, almost-boring questions are asked but it hadn’t prepared you for what was going to come. the questions slowly make less and less connection and stay focused on hakari. “ethicality is mentioned within businesses and is no exception to your work, ms l/n.” before being asked the repetitive question, the topic being how many times can we make hakari look like a god in one tape, you interrupt the host. 

“morals are nowhere to be found in such work. there’s – again – no sense.” now slouched, hakari responds, “tell me, when searching for a job that pays well, were you interested in the pay or how many hours you had to work? ‘s there something you w’na say about being able to survive or how comfortable you are?” 

“sometimes it just boggles me to think about how one person needs more than one business. is it for fun, mister?”

“is what for fun, girl?” 

“is being a con-man to violent people and making them believe knocking each other’s teeth out will help for fun?” 

the host stutters and gets shushed, “well, you’re very right. that wouldn’t be ethical at all.” he smiles very faintly. too faintly for you to lash out and not make it seem like you’re crazy. 

“untruthful about being a bookie and fight-promoter. does gachinko ring a bell?”

“any more questions? how about all my employees' salaries? wanna know my salary? how’s about ‘you busy after this?’” 

the recorder falls off the foldable table after being shaken, “for the love of god.” your boss yells and stops. scrunching his fat nose and pinching the bridge. “that was the fourth time. i just… you know what, we’ll continue tomorrow morning. kinji you’ve got a meeting we’ve, i’ve, been trying to hold off but it seems like everybody’s in the mood for a break.” he walks to the exit of the lobby, followed by some of his crew. hakari gets up, exhaling and cracking his fingers and wrists. 

“almost as good as your writing. but writers always gotta fuck up while speaking.” he picks up the recorder from the ground and tosses it to the full cups of coffee. 

“are they going to post it?” 

he shakes his head. 

“then what?” 

“might do it all again tomorrow. a little more strict, too. it’s not like it was a bad tape either. just like you know, i can’t let shit spread around about me. i would never allow it.”  

you scoff and watch him walk off, cursing under your breath.

it’s the evening when he comes back, bringing a few drunk men through the guards. you nod your head back and forth between your open laptop and the men that find their wobbly way to the lounge's couches. you tune out their slurred talk and how hakari’s joking gets belly-laughs from them. he cackles with them, clapping his hands bluntly. he sighs, tears in his eyes, as he walks past the random suitcases and desks spread-about. 

you type away at your slightly dull keys, clumsily taking your gel-pen and drabbling a note down. 

“workin’ hard, i see.” you feel a heavy hand land on your left shoulder and glance over to the other side of the desk, hakari’s ringed-fingers tapping away at the steel. 

“what’re you writing down…” he mumbles and leans over obnoxiously. you lean back in your chair, looking at him looking at your notes. 

“god, are you drunk? didn’t you just have a meeting?” 

“drunk? nah, i don’t get drunk.” 

“i can smell the whiskey from your breath.” 

“ah-ha, you knew i drank whiskey, huh. looks like even an overworked girl like you knows how to have fun, too.” he looks at you with literal joy in his pupils. face tampered with blush while smiling like a hyena. “anyway,” he stands back up, the grip on your shoulder falling to your bare-arm. “even your handwriting is nice.” 

“uh-huh…” you press your thighs together, feeling the cold metal of his jewelry on your skin. his hand so big compared to your arm. part of you hopes his long gaze is down your blouse. 

it is.

“ya look good.” he speaks through the rasp in his throat but all you hear is a mutter, he gives your arm a squeeze before patting it and walking toward the corridor of rooms. 

you let out a shaky sigh and feel yourself burn up, staring at your yellow-notepad. hakari strides to his room, the last room of the hallway, stretching his arms. he takes a gold card out and shoves it into the slot. 

he lets out a serene moan when his back hits the bed. tossing his keys, phone, and whatever junk out of his pockets onto the nightstand. his large coat following. he groans and kicks off his shoes. something still bothering him. he reaches his hands down to his belt and unravels it, throwing it down. unbuttoning and zipping to comfort the ache below his stomach.

god, how hard could a guy get from one conversation? his slit brows raise as he grins, taking his weeping cock and holding the base.

thinking about all the things you’d say, 

you’re so vulgar. not enough action recently, huh? what stress’ll do to ya…

“yeah, baby, stress.” he takes his other hand and taps the underside of his cock in his palm. closing his eyes and imagining your sweet self between his legs, those same tits in his view. your pink tongue lolling out for him. “finally shut that smart-ass mouth up… use her for something fuckin’ useful.” he groans, stroking himself. 

what makes him throb is how dumb you’d gotten when his hands were on you. how fucking sweet and quiet you went when his fingers stroked your arm, weren’t you exposing him just a couple of hours ago? what a desperate girl. he swears out as he jerks spurts of come onto his clothed shirt. “yeah, hmph god, yeah, that’s good..” he pants like a dog, eyes going heavy. 

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

another day passes and you haven’t come. guilt swats your hand away everytime you try, anyway. you start to get sick of the syrup and eggs roaming the air. you sit at the same spot from last evening and observe the room.

half of your company is eating breakfast or still passed out on the couch. the others, probably asleep or dealing with tech. your boss walks towards you and places a cup of coffee down in front of you. 

“we oughta work on you, huh? hah!” he stirs wood in his own cup. 

“you’re not hungover? i’m surprised you’re up this early.” 

“gotta stay professional, ya know…i only had one shot. maybe a couple. this coffee’s really good, drink some.”

“right because drinks on the second day of a work-trip is highly professional.”

“hey, come on.” he frowns and drinks a sip of his obviously too hot roast. “where is everybody? hell, where’s kinji?” he drifts off to a new group of people near the snackbar. 

the lobby fills again with the occasional technical difficulty, yet no hakari to be found. you wish you could throw it off and be so disconnected that you didn’t even realize the star wasn’t here like some of your colleagues, but you kept your eyes on that same corridor. the loud bitch from the room on the tallest floor went through your ear and out the other. you didn’t even realize the fly that was constantly buzzing had been trying to get your attention. 

“do you know where kinji is?” she was beautiful but still his assistant, loud and fussy like a bad mom. if she didn’t know where he was, how were you supposed to know? you put on a concerned look with a little smile, “might be in his room.” you get up and begin walking to the hallway, how the hell did they not check his fucking room? you swear your eyes roll so far to the back of your head, that if you didn’t have ears to hear the bitch’s loud heels clacking, you could’ve seen her behind you. you turn to the last door on the right and knock, remembering how many men had to carry luggage upon luggage inside. 

“hello? mister, we’re waiting on you.” you knock faster than time. “hakari?” the door swings open and your hand is met with another. before you can say anything, he shushes you and looks around, pulling you into his room and says, “give me a’minute. take a seat.” he leaves. by seat he probably refers to his bed, the entire room cluttered by stuff. you sit on the edge of his bed and sigh, taking a moment to collect what just happened.  

he was shirtless. the bathroom door being open and light on explains why, he’d taken a shower. the mirror was still foggy and the towel hung on the door’s hanger. there was a faint smell of vanilla and something floral. you would’ve been pissed to be in a messy room like this but you figured it was better than being out with everybody else. 

the door opens again and a calm hakari walks in, closing the door and locking it. 

his hair is damp but you only notice how he’s clothed in a towel. one that hangs low at his hips. 

“everybody’s waiting, and you’re not even dressed yet.” 

“s’fine, y/n. i bought us some time. these people, they’ll listen to whatever i say.” he says with a smile, and you look back at him with confusion.

“but the interview…?” your mouth drops gently when his hand comes to hold your face. 

he sighs and looks up and away. your legs are shut and you swallow the sudden pool of saliva in your mouth as your eyes are fixated on his sharp, shaved jawline and how his adam’s apple flexes as he speaks. “this job’s real tough, i know it is, ‘nd you want a break. doesn’t everyone?” he looks back down at you, his eyes filled with what seems to be.. lust? you furrow your eyebrows and nod slowly. he carefully puts some hair behind your ear and leans down to whisper against your skin, “w’na be a good girl and take some of that stress away from the both of us?” he kisses a part of your jaw, “my good girl?” 

oh god. 

did you write half of your career on this greedy man just for him to be licking your ear? leading a hand to your button-up and slowly undoing the pearly clasps? 

his hand now on your bare leg, going up and up your mid-pencil skirt. you feel yourself get dizzy from the thought of him feeling your lacy panties, holding a hand on his strong shoulder, his skin slightly wet. did you wear them on purpose? you can’t think. he stands back up, his hand slithering and rubbing the back of your neck. breathing heavily, you start to undo the rest of your shirt’s buttons. “yeah, there ya go.” he encourages you until your laced bra is exposed. 

he hooks a finger on the side of your panties and tugs them off, you reach under your skirt and tug the other side. he takes both sides and peels away, “mhhm, always liked a matching set.” your skin burns at embarrassment, not from what he said but how wet the middle of your core was and how drenched the crotch of your panties were. 

“a lil’ kissin’ got you this soaked, huh? you want this? ain’t you just sweet, doll.” he throws it to the corner of the bed and hums when you nod. “s’quiet when you’re needy.” hakari pushes two fingers at your lips just when you thought you could finally say something. “open.” he demands gently and grins when you comply. they find their way to the middle of your mouth and you can’t help but suck softly. “mhm that’s good, suck ‘em good. cost about’a milli’ each, heh.” he takes them out and pushes you slowly onto your back, spreading your legs, holding one up with a burly arm. 

“fuck.” is the only thing you manage to let out when he bunches your skirt up to your waist.

“be quiet f’me now.” he spits a glob onto his two fingers and presses them to your clit. you gasp at the content. 

“so wet.” he mumbles.

circling tight, slippery rounds on your aching bud. the guilty friction you’ve been craving finally went through. a sudden warmth and pleasure take over your pelvis. heat rises to your upper body, your hands slightly shaking and your ears burning, god, what were you doing? you watch and feel his dirty mastered hand bring you shame. your entire career faltered just for your fulfillment, the guilt so heavy, it makes you moan out. 

“huuh, mister – shit, i need it.” you speak whispers breathlessly. 

“yeah? you need it, baby?” he brings his focus to your pathetic expression, pushing and curling two fingers into your cunt. you moan out and watch, feel, as his fingers pump in and out of you. his hands are skilled as they break you open little by little. “sweet girl with a needy cunt, must’ve hit the fuckin’ jackpot.” your clit throbbing as you watch him grope himself and ease his own ache through the white towel. 

“c’mon, please sir.” you tap the side of his waist with your heeled foot. 

“patience, girl.” he pulls his fingers out and pats your vulva a few times before pulling your body close to his. his hand finally, finally pulling down the towel. the thing that kept distracting you from nights of sleep now dripping pre just above your heat. he gives himself a couple of strokes, long and heavy as your body begged, driving yourself closer ‘til your ass was almost off the bed. 

“shh shh.” he rubs his wet tip against your folds as you start begging quietly, your slits sloppily kissing. he groans when your cunt flutters, pushing himself into the first tight muscle.

you writhe at the sudden burn, making you mewl ever-so quietly. 

“be a good girl f’me.” he presses a hand on your lower stomach in comfort before moving his hips forward with no intent of stopping until he’s bottomed out. you moan long whines and grind your body down to try and get more, the stretch already burning. “fuck, goddamn it.” the warmth you bring him is unmatched, all he can think about is how hot you feel.

“fuck me – wan’ more.” you clench down and get a moan out of him. his hands hold down onto your plush thighs as he rocks back and forth into you, your folds swallowing him whole everytime. your throat burns at the way you choke out whimpers, drool seeping from the sides of your plump lips. “what’s your company g’na think of you now, hmm? director of the – fuckin’ writing department– their smart girl’s gotta fuck it all up cause she couldn’t resist some cock.” his hips start to fasten and he keeps a tight grip on your legs, your pretty, fucked out, face stays red. “‘s okay, pretty. you ain’t gotta say nothing, jus’ take it like the dumb girl you are and i’ll forget about all the mean little things you said, mhm?” 

“uh-huh.” your head’s spinning from the grinding he’s now doing, the underside of his cock rubbing back and forth and back and forth on the rough spot inside of you. your thighs tremble as you feel yourself getting close. you get louder and hiccup about how good it is.

“ya – yesyesyes please awh fuck,” your hands groping at the back of your neck and the hard nipples of your breast as you arch your back off of the white sheets, “coming – oh god kin’ i’m gonna come, come. thank you thank you…!” the hard waves of heat and fuzziness take up what seems to be your entire body as you cream all over the base of his cock, hakari still pumping himself inside, riding your release out. “god, fuck, baby. stay still.” eagerly, he takes his hard-on out and jerks himself above your mound before coming straight, hot lines of cum onto your stomach. 

he pants, “you wanna talk to me about my morals?”

“jesus fuck. shut the fuck up.” 

[rozeliyawashereyall]

FINALLY POSTING THIS.

Some Zef and Sera +a secret third thing, again.

The fish boys belong to @obsidian-lantern !

@greaysharkboi requested, and I shall provide.

Do you dare to click?

Headcanons, again.

Also for you @jaetists

The listener will be referred to as 'clemmy'

I. Slaps a pride flag on both of them

The tap water turned the frogs gay and in turn the frogs turned the fish gay.

Them going to a pride parade would be very fun.

II. I think both of them would find surface flowers very interesting, especially since there's not a lot underwater. Zef once tried to keep a rose alive underwater and was very sad when it pretty much got ripped apart.

III. Sera secretly likes his hair being braided or played with, especially in human form—and vice versa! He likes showing affection through actions rather than words, and hair playing is one of it.

Speaking of hair, both of their hair are most likely very messy and tangled. Sera a little less than Zef.

IV. Zef and Clemmy occasionally ramble and rant about the differences between land and sea. Sera prefers to listen rather than join in.

V. They both have no idea what a TV is—Sera has a bit more of a clue but still very confused. He likes watching crime documentaries, Zef tried to watch it with him but got PTSD flashbacks/hj

Zef likes watching the romcoms instead

While they'd both be mildly terrified of analog horrors, they find a slight comfort in liminal space images.

VI. The three of them have gone ice skating, both fish guys almost broke their legs.

Kind of on the same topic, but Sera would be a good slow dancer, probably has danced with Zef before

VII. Clemmy brought Zef and Sera to a planetarium, and they were in awe. Zef refused to leave and Sera was too speechless to process that they even have to leave. Clemmy had to call Eric for help to drag them out.

Star/planet gazing has since become their favourite hang out date

VIII. Zef is the kind of guy who would try to impress his crush, fail miserably, and still get them

He fr got that loser rizz

IX. they did not know what glitter was before Eric accidentally glitter bombed them. All three of them learned the hard way that glitter does not come off easily, especially when it gets in your hair.

X. These two would definitely use Clemmy as a heater. Look, the ocean is freezing, and they're probably just as cold to the touch. A Clemmy with a lot of warmth will be the fish boys heater

XI. They both don't like merfolk themed movies, documentaries, etc. Yes this includes the little mermaid

XII. doubling on what Aspen said here. Both Zef and Sera glow as a form of blushing. Sera would probably play it off as intentional, Zef too embarrassed to come up with a proper excuse

XIII. they'd both be very, very confused by AI.

XIV. God those two would not last with gen z or gen alpha— they are also very confused by memes.

"look at all those chickens!..

"Clemmy, those are seagulls..."

XV. Chat...hear me out...Sera and Zef get drunk for the first time...

Zef would either be a sad or happy drunk, with Sera being a silent drunk. Clemmy would have to drag them out and most likely get crushed in the process.

XVI. Them going to a carnival would be hilarious, especially on the rollercoasters—Zef would try to act tough but in the end throws up. And oof, they would be mindfucked by the hall of mirrors.

XVII. Zef would definitely love indie video games. He has watched the entire 8 hour lore video and all of matpat's vids <- Sera thinks this matpat guy is going insane but let's Zef watch him anyway.

XVIII. Sera is the type of person to not want a cat at first, but does let's the cat does anything it wants after they get it.

XIX. Zef would definitely like scrapbooking.

Yay for help from @willowve01 @lightdragon789 @aspenm00n and @tiefling-chaos for the headcanons!

[grocerystoredean]

season 7 dash simulator

edlundite

so do we think these latest winchester murder sprees are gonna be in the next books or nah

dickromananti

My Taylor Double Theory

disclaimer: first of all i want to be clear. i would never call for violence against someone, and do not want anyone to act on this information. I also do not believe in stereotyping and I am not trying to "put down" famous women.

gaylors dni!

Read More

biggersons-official

kids these days are all just turslucking and turfucking. whatever happened to turducken you used to love turducken

couldtransitionsaveher

catgirlkeyboard

richard roman enterprises slack simulator

coworker one: whoever is getting rid of my bottles of borax is so fucking annoying i literally need to clean things

coworker two: did anyone see the turducken is back in the cafeteria again

coworker three: who all stoned on that job

coworker four: last night we got a shipment of an animal bone. who locked up the warehouse after we need to have a conversation. this is important please reach out immediately

coworker five: Hi guys! This weekend is my bi-annual LARPing festival. The set up in the park is really awesome and if you want to check it out feel free to ask for the Queen of Moondoor! :DDDD

tiktaalic

peach simulator Mutual 1: why tf are borox stocks plummeting…….. Sorry for job posting again but ive been looking at these numbers for 30 minutes

Mutual 2: Anybodyy been keeping up with the taylor swift double (dswift) theoury. Ithink it might hold a lot of weight to be honest

Mutual 2: Like ive watched a lot of theory videos and i dont believe she’s weird because she’s gay and I dont believe she’s weird because she’s autistic I think she’s weird because she got replaced by a double whodoesnt know how to be human

Mutual 3: the other day when i was processing my mice spleens i read the shipping label and it literally goes to roman enterprises? lol what?

Mutual 4: people complaining about my chemical romance selling out. acting different. um i think i know more about gerard ways sleep habits than you do genius.

Mutual 5: was at knitting night when literally half the group brought up turduckens again? not to have food aversion but what are we talking about

Mutual 6: I love to hear my american friends talk. Turducken. Ford. Dick Roman. You are living in a hollywood movie. thank god you unserious country nothing better than cultural exchange

Mutual 6: Though to be clear Merlin has had a much more impactful effect on the Australian psyche than any of this politics you people have on the news.

Mutual 7: did anybody want to watch that the horrifying documentary about yellow cedar trees going extinct because of the emissions from the poultry farms

Mutual 8 : i love our beautiful world :)

reginamillsofficial I think the worst part of the true crime fandom is the ppl who want to fuck Sam winchester. The sideburns alone

Biggersons-official Everyone come in to try our new Turducken™️ today! It’s a real hoot! Only a .03 percent chance of hyperadrenal cannibalism!

pizza biggersons-official coming for Denny’s crown omg

glowcloudstyle AND NOW THE WEATHER

#wtnv #i ship it #dennys x biggersons

biggersmons when you get paid biweekly. Week one. Turducken. Week two. Ice soup

calamitysong Biggersons again Biggersons again Biggersons again

eduardosaverin7 Eat a vegetable!

calamitysong I keep forgetting :(

[pumpkinsy0]

idk if uve done smth like this before but curly n pony smoking together (weed or cigarettes ur choice 💥) for the first time hcs,,,,,?

ive made a good chunk of hcs about their first time smoking weed but i have enough to make different instances of it so ill just,,,use this one to expand my 2000s au,,

•it was in curlys basement, and ik u might b asking, these mfs r poor, how do they have a basement in the economy of the 2000s🤔🤔🤔 and to that i say!!!☝🏽☝🏽 SHUT UP🙎🏽‍♀️🙎🏽‍♀️point is theres a lot of bs that goes on in that basement and this one of em

•curly stole that blunt from tim, he knew tim had a stash but aint no where but he FOUND IT and he WILL steal more he has no shame

•pony was in that fucked up beanbag chair stressin, he barely even likes drinking y would he like getting high😭 BUT pony has a small problem w addiction when it comes to smoking so he wasnt shitting his fucking pants type of stressin just a “should we be doin this” kind

•to show pony it was all fine and dandy, curly went first, after that he told pony to get closer so he could teach him how to do it (or at least the way he saw tim doin it)

•and as u know,,,them getting high is THEE gayest thing ever goin on between them, pony was a little closer than really necessary and curly was staring at ponys lips a littleeee to long (he says its to make sure pony inhales right)(its not)(he rlly wants to kiss brah)

•after that point, theyre leaning on each other (to be fair thats just bc they r a lil too faded to sit completely up) and they just keep staring at each other, like way longer than necessary, if anyone else was down w them, theyd be freaked out

•pony strikes me as the type to watch documentaries when hes high meanwhile curly would probably watch “dumbass cartoons” as he put it and watch flapjack and chowder, they were FIGHTING for control over that small ass hand me down shitty quality tv down there

•at some point curly had to lock tf in and act like he wasnt high cause his parents were home, he walked up those stairs like “🙎🏿”, he was too focused on looking sober😭😭

•tim ABSOLUTELY noticed something was up in his drawer and went to the basement and found those two, and curly and pony r SO lucky their parents r home or else tim REALLY woulda flipped his shit

•tim did NOT feel like getting into it w darry so he had to find a way to get pony less high fast, it was a very interesting next few hours

[eonars]

ive tried like 3 times now so i guess im gonna do this in parts

so last thursday i went out with a man id been talking to off An App since before i went on that work trip, the conversation over text wasnt necessarily flowing ever and there were some long pauses while i was away that had me convinced it was joever but he always popped back up and even asked me how things were going and what i was doing. so we meet up the day after i get back and across 3 different bars and 5 drinks we get on like a house on fire. both like the same music (we were both at the same music festival in early august, talked about that a ton obviously) both play the same games (both main death knight and do very high mythic plus keys in wow) and as we get more comfortable with each other we start holding hands and intertwining legs and stuff while sat down. we make all kinds of plans for future concerts to go to together ranging from aura noir in like 2 weeks to him saying he will let me know if he ends up with a spare ticket to sigur ros in november because if he does he'll definitely take me along. we talk about different horror movies to watch together and he lets me yap on nonstop about fish related stuff, which he's actually super knowledgeable about and tells me i sound so lovely when i talk about it and i explain things so well that anyone could understand them and that it's amazing to listen to. he says he's so proud to know someone so intelligent who might actually do something notable for science and put this country on the map for scientific discoveries. we talk about art and he asks me what my favorites are in the national gallery in town and why and we discuss them. i mention i do art and he asks to see and literally can't contain himself when i show him and says i'm amazingly talented. things are going so well and the conversation about music and games and concerts and art and science has not idled or stopped once that when he's like oh shit i have to run for the train i'm like well instead of running we can continue having drinks here and then wait for the trains to start again at mine? and he's super down so we head back to mine and crowd together on my tiny twin bed in my tiny bedroom sized flat and he lets me put on jewels of the rift, the crunchy jpg quality reuploaded ancient natgeo documentary about cichlids i watch on youtube every time im feeling down. i tell him wow i've never been able to convince anyone to watch jewels of the rift with me before and he's like ohh don't worry i'm here now and about 40 minutes into jewels of the rift things get a bit 😏 but i stop things from going tooooo too far and we both have the worst nights sleep ever on a 90cm wide bed as two 6ft+ people who have been drinking heavily. he leaves at 7:30am and hugs me and quietly says it was really nice to meet me and i tell him to text me when he gets in which he doesn't so i text a little bit later asking if he got in ok. he says he only just woke up then and because i know he has work that night i ask how it's going and he just says it's going ok. i reply with a half joking type thing about how i hopefully didn't give him the german engineering university plague and get left on read so on sunday i text asking if he'd be interested in hanging out again sometime and then put my notifications off and go into the woods. i don't realize he replies 5 min later with "I'm a bit busy these coming weeks. But we can probably go to a concert or something sometime if you want :)" which feels really. not good to read. and so i reply back saying i'm definitely going to the aura noir show we talked about in like 10 days so just let me know and get left on read. it's now thursday and i still haven't heard anything and like.

[desire-mona]

so, i want to get into nickel creek, where do i start?

a comprehensive guide / masterlist by desire mona :-)

so ive gotten like. probably 3 or so asks about this + i need a pinned post for the nickel creek community so im making this. keep in mind that i am still a relatively new fan so i definitely dont have the seasoned advice that someone who's been listening for a while would have.

more info under cut!

lets start with the basics -

who is nickel creek?

nickel creek is a 3 piece bluegrass band from california made up of chris thile on mandolin, sara watkins on fiddle, and sean watkins on guitar. all 3 members are vocalists and sing lead vocals on various songs, but youll most likely hear chris on main vocals in a majority of their songs. though they are categorised as bluegrass / folk, their music delves into sounds from a variety of different genres, so a general acoustic label would probably be more fitting. they were originally known as "the nickel creek band" starting in 1989, but they dropped the "the" and "band" in uhhhhhhhh... some time before 2000.

what should i listen to first?

thats honestly up to you, i think anywhere is a good place to start since literally everything they make is good, but i can give u some kick off points so u can know whether or not u like them the quickest i suppose. i was introduced to them at a pretty young age, and the 2 songs that i remembered after years of not hearing them were the lighthouse's tale and this side.

lighthouse's tale - youtube, spotify, apple music

this side - youtube, spotify, apple music

after deciding that i should fully commit to the creek, i started with the tiny desk. i was BLOWN away by how kickass their live vocals were. i went thru and i listened to their albums one by one after that, but i'll have a list of all the albums later on.

"ummmm mona that's too many fucking buttons!!"

ok FINE here's two much easier ways but i think the way i did it was best. whatever.

both my father and my fellow creeker coworker discovered them from their best of album released just after they began their hiatus from 2007-2014. that was a good starting point to go through and listen to the rest, but beware that there are two (very good) albums that came out after this was released.

reasons why: the very best - youtube, spotify, apple music

OR i'll be extra nice and make a spotify playlist for you that i'll eventually make a youtube playlist as well (but not apple music im not paying for that shit <3)

(DO NOT LISTEN ON SHUFFLE - IT IS IN INTENDED ORDER)

every nickel creek album (even the baby ones)

*im doing my best to link physical copies from their official merch site, but some vinyls havent been reissued. if theyre not sold then ive linked the amazon page, but if theyre just sold out then ive linked the merch page anyway. physical copies linked are cds and vinyls respectively, sorry tape users.

little cowpoke (1993) - internet archive, cd

here to there (1997) - youtube and theres a cd but its over $100 so

nickel creek (2000) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies (cd on official merch site is sold out as of 10/2/24)

this side (2002) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies

why should the fire die? (2005) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies

a dotted line (2014) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies (no dotted line physical copies on the merch site, sorry!!)

celebrants (2023) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies

ok fine i like these guys, what can i watch?

OH IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! here are my favs, you can do some exploring on your own as well!

their music videos

celebrants music videos (these are live performances)

2002 live @ aol sessions

2000 acoustic innovators documentary

toxic cover

studio session @ the current + interview

cmt's on the verge

new haven 2024 concert

kill bill cover w/ kacey musgraves

ok but what else have they done?

well all 3 members have their own solo careers, as well as separate bands and projects that theyve done. i wont be linking anything for this section, so you're just gonna have to do some digging for yourself.

chris thile:

solo career

unbelievable amounts of collaborations, too many to list

punch brothers

mutual admiration society

live from here

probably other shit, chris is kinda everywhere

sara watkins:

solo career

watkins family hour

im with her

mutual admiration society

sean watkins:

solo career

watkins family hour

fiction family

works progress administration

mutual admiration society

in conclusion + notes

listen to nickel creek or i will kill you with hammers. if you have any more resources youd like me to add to this post, let me know and i absolutely will!! i do plan on making some fandom-y stuff, such as blinkies and dividers. if youd like to check out all of *my* nickel creek posts, you can visit my #certified creeker tag, or if youd like to see all my posts about chris thile, you can visit my #dangly mandolin boy you will be mine tag. i apologise about the name i just. i like him.

thank u for reading!! feel free to send to anyone you want to annoy the shit out of <3

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

weekend prompt: millinda and unintentionally ominous looming

Millinda is growing in my brain from 'haha how would these two interact' into 'oh Miller is her pet piece of wet bread.' I'm going to end up writing Blue Team makes Miller a real Spartan eventually, I just know it. Thanks for the prompt! (It got away from me)

-

Miller was finding that working with Blue Team, while incredibly stressful, was also incredibly rewarding. He felt like he was behind the camera of a nature documentary, watching in real time as the S-IIs wordlessly and flawlessly took down their prey. There was some chatter on TEAMCOM, but it was mostly from him doing overwatch.

Again, they adapted to the drills and scenarios immediately, including him and listening to what he had to say. His intel mattered. He mattered. There was no mistaking himself as part of Blue Team, but they had him at their disposal and made use of him. He helped before shit hit the fan and he wasn't playing catch up. Even if he left each session with Blue Team exhausted. Wire tight tension and the utmost focus for a prolonged period of time left his head hurting. Miller was being pushed to the limit and he liked it. Training with the best was like opening a door he never knew was closed to him. Troop movements and team cohesion and every other significant detail flashing across his screens let him direct them and grow.

That's how he found himself socializing with them beyond the desk job. Spartan Town was only so big. Blue Team was full of natural leaders, and their reputation preceded them by a country mile. That's why Miller was flabbergasted when Linda 058 singled him out.

"You want me as your handler?" He tries not to stammer.

The height difference between them was negligible but the confidence coming off Blue-4, Linda 058, was overwhelming. Jared could find some steel in his spine when it mattered, but not in the face of her many goggled helmet or piercing green eyes. It wasn't that she saw him and found him lacking - he got that from others - she pinned him in place with a look and left him feeling exposed. Like she could go for the kill in an instant.

She nods. "One sortie. Low risk. Training exercise."

Miller's dumbfounded. This is the chance of a lifetime, but the what-ifs are already shutting down his higher thought processes with anxiety.

"A solo op with me as overwatch? What about your team?" He grasps for some kind of stability to add to the conversation.

"Don't need a babysitter." She says resolutely.

"Wait, is this for me?"

"Training exercise." She says again, with a curt nod.

"Yes, I guess." Miller agrees and Linda nods again, barely a lift of her chin in acknowledgement and then she leaves abruptly.

And that's how Miller gets to see Linda 058 patrol the edges of Banished space. The factions were a mess and who better to recon than the Lone Wolf herself. It was easy to sneak an Owl down to drop off a single Spartan. Local flora masking her presence as soon as her boots hit the ground.

The mission goes well, for once. Miller is both by the book and trusting his gut. He doesn't chatter incessantly out of nerves, something he prides himself on after the fact. Instead he finds himself copying Linda's silent focus while keeping an eye on the bigger picture she cannot see. It's a weird feeling. One he can't label until it hits him.

Trust.

Snipers don't go out in the field alone, unless they are exceptional. Linda let him see what that felt like.

He makes calls and marks points of interest, and even a few dropships. She trusts him to watch her back. In return, he has to trust her to make the right call. She goes closer to enemy fortifications than he'd ever want his S-IV Fireteams to go without proper intel.

"Blue-4, you're getting too close for quick extraction."

She flashes green once over comms. A moment passes and she flashes acknowledgement twice.

Enemy Detected.

Linda becomes a shadow in the underbrush and Miller goes into overdrive. He doesn't flood her HUD with markers, but notes her approach, the flight vectors the Banished Phantoms are following, and the warping on the helmet cam.

Cloaking.

Miller squeezes every bit of intel out of the situation without impacting Blue-4's focus or giving away her position. He finds himself breathing in time with her. Slow and even, her vitals present onscreen barely show an uptick while he finds his own heart racing. She has her job and he has his. He does it and he waits.

The warping goes away, moving along the ridge line overlooking the Banished outpost.

Linda slinks back into the vegetation and towards evac. Neither of them let down their guard until lift-off.

Miller congratulates her, more out of habit than necessity and thanks her for the opportunity. It feels like brown-nosing, but the "thanks" she flashes back makes it worth it.

The mission was a success, and Miller relaxes - his second mistake. The first was agreeing to the mission in the first place. His third is having a publicly posted schedule on S-Deck with his fireteams' schedules. His fourth was discussing the mission and how to improve within earshot of Linda, not that he noticed her there.

Blue Team was no help. Kelly smiled at him when he approached them about Linda's newfound habit of popping up near him, randomly, at all hours. Miller had gained a second shadow, one that loomed over him and took his dessert when he wasn't looking.

"Working on your situational awareness." She had said.

He had yet to scream on comms, but it was a near thing when he noticed her in the vents of the Op Center. At this rate, Roland was going to get jealous over someone else competing for "who can give Miller a headache fastest?"

Miller just wanted his dessert and peace of mind back.

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

ryan ross iceberg tier 3

tier 1, tier 2, tier 4, tier 5, tier 6, tier 7, tier 8

into the waters:

cricket and clover:

also known as the cabin album, this is the scrapped album that panic! wrote in 2007 when they locked themselves in a cabin in nevada (hence the nickname). according to a tweet from jon, 14 songs were written for the album, only 3 of which ever saw the light of day [i]. however, this tweet seems to have been deleted.

one song was folkin’ around, which of course made it onto pretty. odd.

another was nearly witches, which made it on vices & virtues, but the demo version is very different from the official version. you can listen to the demo here [ii].

the last song that we know of from this album is it’s true love. this song was performed once in 2007 at summerfest; unfortunately, the quality isn’t the best [iii]. however, this song still gives good insight into what the album would’ve sounded like, which is very different from fever but similar to pretty odd (although sources state the album still sounded very different from both previous and future works) [iv].

the album was intended to be a concept album, with each song leading into the next story wise. it would tell a love story between two people named cricket and clover [iv].

in 2018, jon also tweeted that he found some cricket and clover demos at his dad’s house, but it seems he does not have the authority to release them [iv]. genius also released a number of song titles, but jon also said that those names were not accurate [i].

we also have this image of ryan’s handwritten lyrics for songs unreleased from the album.

besides these small snippets of information, it’s safe to assume this album will remain lost to time forever, unless someone gives jon the permission to leak the demos (please).

i’m afraid that i:

on the 2006 summer tour, and specifically on live in denver, panic! covered karma police by radiohead. this entry refers to a part of that song in which ryan sings the line “i’m afraid that i.” ryan fans became obsessed with this clip and it’s taken on a life of its own.

you smell like a slut:

this also references a clip from the live in denver dvd. rather than explaining it, i’ll just let the video explain itself.

the moat:

in 2010, ryan tweeted at one of his friends that he could “float in [ryan’s] moat until he gets settled,” implying that ryan has a moat around his house [v].

i also found this panic! confession, but i’m not sure of the legitimacy of the claim nor of the house in the photo actually being the home ryan lived in (i hope it wasn’t) [vi].

eta: i think that actually is his house because in a podcast, he talks about how people have shown up to his house and made him scared to even open the door for the mailman :( with that being said, i removed the original image because i don't feel comfortable having a pic of his house in this (idk if he still lives there, but regardless). it is still in the source i linked if you're really curious, but it should go without saying that no one should show up to his house.

it’s the end of the electric guitar era:

this is a clip from the documentary, the calendar business, in which ryan says he was so frustrated with one of his guitars. so, he said “it’s the end of the electric guitar era” and burned it.

i’ll also link the full documentary here because it’s an interesting watch itself! [vii]

coachella:

for a few years, ryan went to coachella. i know he was definitely at 2015 and 2016, but also maybe 2011 and 2013 [viii].

he was also pictured with cristofer drew at one of them (nevershoutnever) which doesn’t mean anything significant; it’s just an interesting tidbit to me because nsn started my emo phase lmao

gabe saporta:

my king.

gabe saporta, formerly of midtown and cobra starship (both incredible bands that you should check out), was an absolute icon of fueled by ramen bandom. in the presplit days, he and ryan were buddies, as were most bands on that label, but after the divorce ryan got to keep gabe. they used to frequently post on instagram hanging out. we don’t really see them together much these days, but to be fair, ryan disappeared from the internet and gabe is the father of two kids. so i’m sure they’re still friends offline!

there is also this absolutely iconic friends or enemies interview that gabe did with ryan that everyone should watch here [ix] (also guy ripley saying “delicious” in the background at the end means everything to me).

eta: this post was made before gabe made all of those zionist comments about the genocide in palestine, so i feel i should clarify that he is no longer my king and it's free palestine and fuck israel forever :)

vicky t:

victoria asher, professionally known as vicky t, is another former member of cobra starship. she and ryan did hang out in the presplit days of course, but also some in the post split days. it seems she remained friends with all of panic! though.

however, vicky is extremely problematic and transphobic, which is detailed more here [x]. she also works with britney spears these days, and from what i can tell, britney’s fans do not have good things to say about vicky. but this is really not the place to dive into that.

keltie and jac podcast and books:

so kitty from glee and two of ryan ross’ exes start a podcast…

seriously though, keltie knight, jac vanek, and becca tobin run a podcast called lady gang, and ketlie and jac have discussed ryan on it before. in this interview from 2017, they say that they met because of a mutual ex, saying, “he was kind of known for a minute” and, “we don’t speak the name; it’s like voldemort.” [xi]. they also say they’re not sure if he’s still alive, and well…valid. in a tumblr post from 2018, an anon states that keltie talked about selling ryan’s clothes in an episode and that she and jac were saying mean things about him [xii]. also, in this podcast episode from last year, jac and keltie talk about ryan from about 05:25 to 08:10; they wonder if he has a girlfriend and what he is up to now, and keltie talks about how she regrets being messy in the relationship and writing her book, and how she tried to contact him when hobo died [xiii].

i’ve already talked about it some before, but in 2010, keltie released a book called “rockettes, rockstars, and rockbottom.” this book has an entire section dedicated to her relationship with ryan called “the dreamer” – the dreamer being the alias she uses to refer to him throughout. when describing the beginning of their relationship, she talks about how young he was very often, saying he was still a child and that he had a hard time passing for even 14, amongst other examples. as i said in tier 2, the age gap in their relationship was important because of the power dynamics, as evidenced in the book. from what i gather from the book, their relationship was messy, codependent, and, for lack of a better word, toxic. keltie is allowed to talk about her life, but it doesn’t sit right with me that she went into intimate detail about their relationship when ryan is such a private person. ryan was definitely not innocent in this relationship either, though; they both had their issues that they needed to work out on their own rather than keltie trying to fix ryan or him wanting her to. luckily, as i said before, keltie does regret writing the book at least.

if for some reason you’re interested in reading her book, you can find it for free here [xiv]. you just need to make an internet archive account and check it out hourly.

(also a side note that i did in fact listen to lady gang and read keltie’s book for this entry, so please at least give me kudos for that if nothing else)

5th member of 1d:

on march 25, 2015, zayn malik left one direction, and so naturally, people wanted to fuck with their fans. someone edited the official 1d wikipedia page and added ryan under their list of current members. 1d fans on twitter subsequently had meltdowns, exclaiming “WHO IS RYAN ROSS” (i mean c’mon they were in an emotional, vulnerable state). ryan ended up changing his twitter bio to say, “NOT in 1D” and made a tweet about it [xv].

scholarship:

when panic! was first getting its start, ryan received a full scholarship from the university of nevada las vegas for writing. however, he dropped out after one semester to focus on the band, which his dad did not approve of.

he talks about it in live in denver from 58:45 until 59:18 [xvi].

the boy who blocked his own shot:

this is song by brand new off their 2003 album deja entendu (fuck jesse lacey). it’s on this iceberg because ryan loved this song and posted about it on his lj a lot, along with the rest of the album. i know he specifically quoted another song, okay i believe you but my tommy gun don’t, as well.

blinkexists@aol.com:

when ryan was a teenager, this was his email. in fact, it is the email he used to communicate with pete wentz. pete talked about it in this interview with mark hoppus, starting at 02:00 [xvii].

moulin rouge:

this is a movie musical released in 2001 that ryan was obsessed with and one of his favorite movies. i don’t really have any other source for this than trust me bro, but i promise it’s true.

original singer for panic!:

when panic! first started, and even when brendon initially joined the band, ryan was the singer. however, they heard brendon singing back up during brand practice one day and asked him to be the singer rather than the guitarist.

ryan and brendon talk about it some in live in denver from 38:46 to 41:23 [xviii]. specifically my favorite quote from this is, “it felt right to have confident sounding lyrics behind a confident voice.”

(also i’m trying to be objective throughout this but let me just say this for context and transparency: i hate brendon urie LMAO)

guitarist ryan ross declined to be interviewed:

in 2015, billboard published this article for the 10 year anniversary of a fever you can’t sweat out [xix]. they reached out to multiple people to interview for the article, including brendon, jon, pete wentz, producer matt squire, manager scott magelberg, and bob mclynn. underneath this, it says spencer and brent could not be reached. it also says, “guitarist ryan ross declined to be interviewed.” people just thought it was funny because he would decline. he is living the hermit life for real.

so that’s all for tier 3. next we move onto a deeper layer, when i really feel like we get into some stuff the average fan wouldn’t know, which i am excited to delve into. gonna be honest though, it’s gonna be a long one.

tier 4

references:

[i] https://panicatthedisco.fandom.com/wiki/Cricket_%26_Clover

[ii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfsssP9lwII

[iii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNE4U5Yy-BE

[iv] https://lostmediawiki.com/Cricket_and_Clover_(partially_found_scrapped_Panic!_At_The_Disco_album;_2007)

[v] https://failross.livejournal.com/61466.html?thread=1787418

[vi] https://panicconfessions.tumblr.com/page/138

[vii] https://vimeo.com/164855487

[viii] https://twitter.com/search?q=ryan%20ross%20coachella&src=typed_query

[ix] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGe0fR5OM80

[x] https://ocalaghan.tumblr.com/post/157422369150/vickytransphobe-master-post

[xi] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEwgcmUJbkE

[xii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/171494458406/keltie-talks-about-selling-ryans-clothes-in-one

[xiii] https://www.podcastone.com/episode/LG-QUICKIE-Not-Gonna-Lie-Part-2

[xiv] https://archive.org/details/rockettesrocksta0000coll/mode/2up

[xv] https://www.altpress.com/one_direction_fans_think_ryan_ross_is_joining_the_bandand_theyre_furious/

[xvi] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLWcbA2fhHI&t=3466s

[xvii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLD8sHVgEnA

[xviii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLWcbA2fhHI&t=2326s

[xix] https://www.billboard.com/music/rock/panic-at-the-disco-fever-you-cant-sweat-out-oral-history-pete-wentz-brendon-urie-6707864/

[akindplace]

ive been really sick and barely got any sleep last night because of it and im exhausted. that being said im going to read a little of the book code name villanelle because i really liked the first two seasons of the show but i know how it ends so I’ll just read the book because the ending there is better. that being said if anyone has documentaries to recommend me please do? I don’t really feel like making a mubi account cause im not sure if it’s worth it but I’m thinking about it cause finding documentaries online has been getting harder because ive either watched a lot of them and the rest is just… really dubious history channel type of documentaries.

anyway i hate being sick (again) but being sick in the current heat is even worse

[empirenowmp3]

how/why/when did you get into F1? Ive seen you post about it for a while now and im intrigued by the fandom >:0

honestly i got into it pretty recently (literally the week before the last race of the 2024 season) although i used to watch it on tv with my grandfather when i was a kid. one of my moots started reblogging f1 posts and one of the drivers piqued my interest, my very first f1 post is a reblog of a gifset of him. if you want to get into it i'd recommend to just pick a driver first and start following him. the f1 website has a pretty nice beginner's guide to the technical parts of the sport. there is also the drive to survive netflix documentary which tends to blow the drama out of proportion but it's an entertaining way of getting introduced to the teams and the dynamics of f1. and of course, watch the races. it can be a little confusing at the beginning (my adhd brain is struggling to sit through the two hour long full races), so you can start with the race highlights posted on the f1 youtube channel. also i'd recommend the rick'sf1addiction youtube channel, he explains stuff in a funny way. don't let the lestappen and 12 y.o lando norris fans bully you and you'll be fine.