#ive wanted to make peace for the past two years but

[plasma-studios]

the urge to get closure

(vent in tags)

[letorip]

crimson & clover

“now i don't hardly know her, but i think i could love her"

===+++===

pairing: wednesday addams x mute!reader

summary: people fear that which they do not understand. it makes sense then, why you and wednesday fall in love and help each other

warnings: erm you killed a lot of people on accident, angsty in the middle there, threats of violence, descriptions of violence

word count: 5.1k

A/N: heavily inspired by black bolt, who i really do think is one of my favourite heroes. there will likely be a part 2 or 3 to this but for rn my attention is on kiss with a fist. THERE WILL ALSO BE A PART [IV] OF SOMETHIN' STUPID

KISS WITH A FIST [IV] WILL BE UP NEXT SUNDAY

===+++===

===+++===

There were certain things you couldn’t have, when one had the ability to do incredible damage, if they just opened their mouth.

When you did so, on a random Saturday morning at 10 years old, and your house burst apart, it took your parents and a chunk of the neighbourhood with it in a fiery tempest that stabbed you right through the heart. You learned then, that maybe you weren't meant to have a family.

At age 12, when the kids at the Home for Outcast Children strung you up from the monkey bars by your ankles, and you couldn’t hold in a laugh from how the world looked funny when the sky looked like the floor, you learned you weren’t meant to have friends, sitting silently in the dirty crater where the playground used to be with your head tucked into your knees.

You had thought it would be implied then, that you would never have a lover, either. But then again, there was Wednesday Addams.

It was still a mystery, why she chose you. You had assumed she would want nothing to do with you just like she didn’t want anything to do with most people, and you couldn’t have been more wrong.

The both of you met about a week after she arrived at Nevermore, in the dead of night on one of the walks you always took when everyone else had gone to bed and there was no one to watch you, no one to murmur as you went past. You didn't pose a danger to anyone, then, and it was liberating and also deeply melancholic.

That was when you were most at peace. Your thoughts, even though well-reasoned, could not be expressed. You wrote often, in a leather-bound notebook you’d let no one see, but the power was given to writing through reading it, and there was no one you could have close enough to do so. It made you tired, to be around people you couldn’t communicate with. Few people wanted to wait for you to write something out on a notebook and even fewer wanted to learn sign language.

Kinbott had a dry-erase whiteboard in her office that was just meant for you and the only deaf person in Jericho, though the old man had gone missing a few months ago, without a trace. It was humiliating, at first, and you used to write two-word sentences, curt responses doing the bare minimum, often out of anger— whether it was anger from your situation or anger at being a teenager, you didn’t know— but now you could fill it with paragraphs and kept a notebook for when communication was especially necessary.

That night itself was peaceful, with gentle, twinkling stars that were only lightly polluted by the quad’s towering lamps. You could still see their faint outlines above you, with casting shadows down the lawn from the roof’s spires, and it smelled as if it were going to rain soon.

When you heard the scuttling of something on the floor, you jumped, startled, eyes shooting down to where you were certain you had felt someone’s fingers grip at your leg. Your eyes widened in surprise at the disembodied hand, racing up the uneven cobblestones and then up the leg of someone at the far end of the quad, landing finally on her shoulder.

Wednesday with her arms crossed, looking at you with a comically large bag slung over her shoulder that must've contained all of her belongings, like a runaway in the night.

Oh. That's what she was.

You blankly stared back at her, blinking at her figure. She took a menacing step forward, her grip on the bag tightening. "Are you following me?" she asked, tone icy. When you kept looking at her without so much as opening your mouth, her apathetic eyes narrowed. "If you tell anyone you saw me, they will never find your body. Don't say a word."

It was intended to be a threat, and if it had been anyone else, it probably would've made their blood run ice over just from how cold her gaze was. But you just raised your eyebrows at her, unable to stop the amusement from tugging at the corners of your lips. The irony was very far from lost on you, and the more serious she seemed the more funny the blunder was.

"What?" she snipped. "Is something amusing to you?"

Again, you could not say. You silently shook your head, tilting it then out of curiosity, and gently pointing towards the hand on her shoulder. It sat up at your attention, sending a friendly wave in your direction. Your eyes widened, waving before Wednesday could clear her throat and pull your eyes back up to hers.

Her eyes in question were dark and intense, but beautiful, even under the dim lighting, and you had to swallow what felt like a lump in your throat, in order to regain your composure. "Why are you silent?" she asked, narrowing them at you. You were under her microscope, and she scanned you, looking for anything that would impair your immediate voice.

You raised up a hand as if to say ‘hold on,’ before tugging your notebook out from your overcoat, flipping it open and pulling out your pen. With a click, you were scribbling down on the paper, and Wednesday narrowed her eyes at you again, scanning you in suspicion.

When you were done, you flipped it around, holding it up to her eyes with a gentle smile. 'Trust me, I don't think you'll need to worry about me telling anyone anything, anytime soon.'

Her eyes combed over the words, then glanced back down to you. "Why is—" she opened her mouth out of curiosity, but a heavy door slammed shut down the hall, and she whipped around before she could finish the question.

You both could hear the footsteps coming closer, and Wednesday straightened up, grip tightening on the bag over her shoulder. "You didn't see me, and you won't ever again," she said, coldly.

You nodded, not that you believed she'd make it out. You yourself had tried to run away for the first month and a half, and after long enough, one just gave up. Nevermore was hard to escape; you doubted she had readied a good enough plan in just a few days of being there. Still, you wished her luck. The forest was dangerous, and especially now.

With a final nod in your direction, she hastily walked off, down the corridor the opposite way. You watched her go, calmly sitting near the fountain. A few moments after she disappeared down a different hallway, a very tired looking Weems came down the stairs in her nightgown, holding onto a rusted lantern.

When she saw you, she sighed. "What did I say about those nighttime walks of yours, (Y/n)?"

You smiled, tilting your head to the side and shrugging at her. Weems huffed at your attempt at cluelessness, shaking her head fondly. "Just make sure you get yourself to bed soon, alright?"

You nodded, leaning back on the fountain edge and tracing the grout lines with your thumbs. Weems turned back to the hallway Wednesday went down. "I guess Miss Addams is planning to escape tonight?" But you didn't write anything down, raising your eyebrows at her as if to say 'duh.' Weems adjusted the hem of her nightgown from where it had dragged gently on the steps. "Thank you, (Y/n). I'll see you tomorrow."

She began to follow down the path Wednesday had taken, letting the lantern lead her through the dim corridor, and you silently yawned, picking up your notebook and figuring you had enough adventure for the night.

===+++===

That was your first unofficial meeting, at least. You almost forgot it had happened the following morning, except for when Wednesday showed up in class the next day looking more displeased and unhappy to be there than normal.

It was amusing how frustrated she was, mouth drawn into an annoyed line and eyes looking especially dark. When she caught your eye as she went to take her seat, you averted your gaze back down to your notebook to hide your cheeky smile, resuming your doodle in the margin and running a nervous hand through your hair.

She kept staring throughout the lecture, as if silently daring you to mention her failure, not that you could aloud. You weren’t willing to look back, but you could see her dark eyes shift up and across the round of tables towards you from the corner of your eye, which you made sure to keep on Thornhill.

After long enough, Xavier noticed too. He whispered something to her and then glanced up at you with a look that was far from friendly. He hadn't liked you one bit, but neither did any of the other kids, when they found out. You couldn't exactly blame them, either. The school was full of monsters, but you were a monster among monsters.

"Wednesday, Xavier," Thornhill called out, crossing her arms. She wasn't angry, though. More playful. "Is something more important than our study of carnivorous plants?"

Xavier began to shake his head, starting an apology, but Wednesday cut him off, blankly staring back at Thornhill as it left her mouth. "Yes."

At the challenge, the whole class seemed to let out a comically loud gasp. Thornhill's previously teasing smile dropped to a displeased frown, and she shoved her hands into the pockets of her overalls, motioning to the large glass enclosure on the table behind her. "I don't suppose you can tell me what this is, then?" At the question, you can see Bianca smirk and raise her own hand, eager to steal it away, "I haven't said the name out loud yet, and it will be on your test next—"

"—Dendrophylax lindenii." The interruption came swift from her lips, but Wednesday's eyes are still steeled over and unimpressed by Thornhill's attempt to be put on the spot.

You have to hide your amusement again, at the shocked look on Bianca's face, but she rushes to make up for it by adding something of her own. "It's also known as the Ghost Orchid—”

"—First discovered on the Isle of Wight in 1852," Wednesday adds, and once more she's won. Or, she would have. You can't help the shake your head does, or the cheeky smile on your face that Wednesday locks onto, like a heatseeking missile. Her eyes are like daggers, stabbing you through and through. "Is something funny?"

She says it across the entire classroom and everyone goes silent, less focused on the plants now and more the fact that she's acknowledging your presence. You shrug, trying to diffuse the situation, but it only makes her glare at you harder. "No, go on," Wednesday demands, her tone just as icy as she had been the night before. "Tell us, what was so funny?"

"Wednesday," Thornhill warns her, sending you a sympathetic look, but she ignores her and so do you.

"Or are you still at a loss for words," she draws out, and in doing so, the rest of the class fills with 'ooh's and 'woah's. You stare at her for a moment, then silently, your hand goes to your notebook.

The moment you begin writing in it, the classroom tenses again, waiting for you to finish. You make them as big as possible, large enough that she'll be able to clearly read them across the room. When you're done, you flip it around and hold it up like a sign, face blank.

discovered 1854, not 1852

idiot.

You've circled it several times in messy pen, to make sure she really sees. The room roars even louder in surprise, and however bad Wednesday's stare was before, the new one she gives you is infinitely worse. Her face is still deadpan, but her eyes flick away down to her notebook. It’s the only time you’ve seen her approach something resembling embarrassment or fury. You're sure the 'idiot' bit didn't help, but you were far too annoyed by her poking of you to not have poked her right back.

"Well...," Thornhill tries, "It seems the Ghost Orchid isn't the only carnivorous plant in here, today." But the class is too far gone to focus up again, sending you wary glances. They don't like Wednesday, but they like you even less, so it's confusing who they should root for.

You hold her gaze until the bell rings, finally breaking it to gather your things and leave as soon as possible. Her eyes are still on you as you go, and just before you exit the room, you can hear someone mutter "freak," under their breath. You tuck your books under your arm, and duck out into the hall.

===+++===

Fall was always your favourite time of year; for once, Jericho wasn't entirely unbearable. The leaves turned a warm orange and red, falling from the trees in abundant piles on the ground, and the air fermented into something crisp and especially breathable. You let it fill your nose as much as possible.

You sat on the lawn, listening to the birds flit about and the wind brush under the branches and hem of your jumper with a book in your lap and a frown on your face. It wasn't a good book- something the internet had said was incredible but had firmly left a bad taste in your mouth, and part of you wanted to put it down and turn to something more useful. But another part of you wanted to keep reading, like being unable to look away from a car accident.

The book was so engrossing in its awfulness that you didn't notice her watching you from afar or, more so, aiming in your direction. That was, until you turned the page, and her throwing knife whizzed past your ear and lodged itself into the tree you had been sitting against.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the noise, and you turned your head to the side, looking at the shiny, reflective silver. The letters W. A. stared back at you, engraved just below the knife's spine. You frowned, and when you looked back, she was standing over you, arms crossed and expression as deadpan as always.

You raised a questioning eyebrow, looking over at the knife and then back to her as if saying, 'What was that for?'

"Your attention was required," she replied dryly.

You rolled your eyes, dog-eared the page of your book, and placed it down next to you, pulling out your notebook and your pen. You wrote a single word.

dangerous.

"Believe me, if I wanted to hit you, I am entirely capable of aiming to kill," Wednesday said. Then, after a brief look around Nevermore's green, her eyes flicked back down to you. "I'm here on business."

You search her face for a moment, narrowing your eyes. They locked in on the small bandage on her forehead, and you nodded up at it, asking her what happened with the look on your face. Her frown deepened.

"I'm in the process of crushing a bee... and almost getting crushed by a gargoyle." You blinked, but Wednesday continued. "But I won't have to do either if you agree to my request."

It's hard to deny that her words massively pique your interest. Wednesday in general massively piques your interest, and you write down the thing you really want to know.

people say you eat human flesh...

You turn the page back to her, and Wednesday seems to process the words for a moment. She looks over at you, unimpressed by the allegation. "I don't eat it. My menagerie of pets do. And even then, that's nothing close to what Enid's said about you."

You stare up at her, then scribble a couple of words on the paper.

and what's that?

"That you're dangerous. That you’re somehow infinitely worse than I am, which I'm doubtful of," Wednesday says without missing a beat. "Enid won't say anything more, and neither will Xavier." She looks around again, over the green. There's a picnic of sirens by the lake, and a few of the werewolves are playing with a frisbee. She looks back at you. "I've been warned to stay away, and your propensity for being obnoxious has made that task fairly easy so far." You begin to write again.

so why are you here

"Because," she states like it's obvious, "I want to break out of here. And you're somehow the person to have gotten the closest."

and yet

i'm still here

You turn the page to her and jab the bottom bit several times with your pointer finger.

"Well then," she says, "help me succeed."

===+++===

“And how do you think that made you feel?” Kinbott asks, eyeing her various pages of notes to the left of you. Some of the other patients in Kinbott’s care had small, yellow folders, but you had a larger red one, with your name in highlighted block letters on the front. It looked like it should’ve had a top secret sticker in the corner, not that you weren’t appreciative about your records being sealed.

You erased the board, writing a single word.

seen

Then, underneath it.

idk, like i was really there?

Kinbott nodded. “You’ve said people often ignore you a lot. Why do you think that is?”

they’re scared. they think i’ll hurt them because they heard rumours about what i did.

i can’t blame them, really

She frowned, wrapping her hands around her knee. “But that’s not really fair, is it? When was the last time you’ve caused damage with your ability, (Y/n)?”

You shrug, thinking for a moment.

about four years

“And you haven’t made any sort of mistakes, right?”

well, no

“Then why should they be afraid of you?” Kinbott asks. She’s leaning forward, looking at you with her eyes softened. “You’ve trained yourself to silently yawn, you don’t cough, you don’t sneeze, you don’t snore. I think you need to trust yourself a little more, (Y/n).”

You shrug again, but don’t write anything down, so Kinbott sighs and sits back in her chair. “Principal Weems says that she has another little Harry Houdini on her hands?”

You write down Wednesday on your board. She nods. “I’m seeing her in a little while, actually.” It makes your eyebrows raise in surprise.

why?

Kinbott shakes her head. “You know I can’t share that. Therapy is private. It seems she doesn’t plan on staying, though. Wednesday has already tried to escape.”

i know.

she asked me to help her

Her eyes scan over the words and then look back up to you, warily. “You know better than to help her, right? Nevermore could be good for Wednesday. And I thought you were actually starting to like it here.”

You nod.

i already said no

it’s too dangerous, in the woods right now. with the attacks and stuff.

“Good. And please, tell Principal Weems if you learn of any plans in the future.” You nod again, much less committed, and Kinbott looks down at her watch. “I’m afraid our time is over, (Y/n),” she says with a smile. “I’ll see you next week.”

You write a quick thank you down and stand, shoving your socks back into your shoes and tugging on your jumper, tucking it underneath the collar of your shirt and fixing your Nevermore tie. Purple stripes was never your pattern, and Weems had long since given up on trying to make you wear the coat. She figured it probably made you less likely to run away.

Wednesday is sitting in the lobby when you get down the stairs, with a bored-looking Weems come to babysit. You send her a glance, and then give Weems a nod of your head in acknowledgment.

She beams back at you. “Ah, (Y/n). We’re here for Miss Addams’ session. If you want to wander around Jericho, we can take you back to the school when we're done, if you’d like.”

You send another look at Wednesday, whose face is just as deadpan and unhappy as before, and shake your head. You point at yourself and then mime walking with your two fingers. Principal Weems frowns, but gives you and okay, and you turn around to leave.

You can feel Wednesday’s eyes on you as you head for the school. You know she's annoyed by your refusal to help her, but you can't exactly tell her why you're refusing either, especially since you're lacking any evidence for your theory. So you just told her no.

===+++===

Even from deep inside the forest, you can hear the carnival. There's a Ferris wheel towering over the trees in front of you, and circus music blasts from a few speakers so that you can faintly hear it amongst the windy branches, leaves blowing along the ground and caressing your shoes from time to time as you walk through the dark.

You're looking for something, anything, indicating someone would've been there. Sheriff Galpin had found all sorts of hikers, recently, all almost unidentifiable, with how bloodied they were, but they had yet to find anyone with a hearing aid, so you were unsatisfied. It was believed he was on vacation, but you knew the old man went to his therapy appointments every single week. He hadn't missed a single day, so you failed to believe that theory. You didn't even know his name, really.

On a tree not too far from you, there was a claw mark sunk deep into the bark, and you looked towards it, at the pattern. The idea a bear was responsible for all the deaths wasn't exactly convincing, and looking at the claws, your doubts only amplified. You pulled out your camera, aiming it towards the mark, ready to snap a shot, when you heard footsteps pounding past you.

"Rowan!" called a voice behind you, and you froze, putting the camera down and flicking your flashlight off. The last thing you needed was word getting out that you were lurking in the woods. People thought you were scary enough.

But the words weren't directed at you. You listened intently, and then you heard the faint but panicked voice again. "Rowan," Wednesday says again, and the moment you realise it's her voice, you take off running towards it.

You find Rowan with his hand held up, crushing Wednesday against a tree, and before you can stop to think, you're rushing forward, shoving him in the back and pushing him into the dirt, where he struggles to catch his breath. The moment his hand splays out in front of him, Wednesday is dropped to the forest floor. You run to her, checking her over quickly for injuries, making sure she can run. When you find none, you grab her arm, hoisting her to her feet. You send a wary look over at Rowan, who's already trying to right himself and take Wednesday's hand in yours, pulling her deeper into the forest.

It isn't long before you hear him calling out. "Wednesday!" he yells, and you freeze, grabbing her by the arm and tugging her behind a tree. You push her flush against the bark and cover her mouth with your hand, getting as close as possible so that you hide better against the trunk. She seems too scared to comment on the touch, eyes wide and chest heaving from the running. You raise your other hand and press your finger to your lips.

"Wednesday, I'm doing Nevermore a favour," he tries again. "One massive favour. You're dangerous. My mother's seen it. I can see it. Anyone who knows you can see it."

Your eyes flicker to Wednesday's in confusion, processing his words. She's staring up at you, eyes dark and full of worry, begging for him not to find you. Any idea you had about her not getting scared goes out the window. She's just as human as you are. You send her a comforting nod, peeking around the tree trunk. Rowan's a few trees away, with his back turned, scouring the area.

You begin to back away from Wednesday, gesturing over your shoulder. If you both can sneak off and go back to the carnival without Rowan noticing, you can ensure safety. She gives a curt nod, letting you take her hand in yours again. You're faster than her, she knows that. You slowly pull her with you, quietly stepping away and towards the fair.

You only make it a few steps, until Wednesday steps on a branch.

The small twig cracks under her boot, and within an instant, Rowan whips his head around to you both, staring back at him like a pair of deer in headlights. He takes a few menacing steps forward. "There you are," he draws out in between wheezy breaths. His hand comes up, ready to crush her, but before he can use his ability, a large, hulking creature grabs him by the leg, whipping him around and down onto the ground.

You and Wednesday watch in horror as Rowan screams, and the creature rears up on its hind legs, coming down and smashing Rowan with its fists. You can hear the crunching of his bones and then the tearing of flesh as the creature's claws dig into the boy's skin. Wednesday's hand is still in yours, and she squeezes it harshly, small black fingernails digging into the back of your hand, pulling you down to the ground with her and then scooting back.

The attack is short but brutal, and you see bits of Rowan's chest go flying and pure red maw. The creature whips around to you when Rowan goes silent, staring at Wednesday with intensity in its big eyes. Then it scrambles off, tearing through the woods and into the darkness.

As soon as it's gone, Wednesday rushes forward in the leaves, going to Rowan's side. You clamber to your feet, watching the direction the creature went with wide eyes. When you turn back to Wednesday, you catch her shoving something in her pocket. You don't ask what it is, but you make a mental note to ask later.

"Please," she says, a bit panicked. Her fingers are coated in Rowan's blood. "Go get Weems."

===+++===

Another not-too-awful thing about Nevermore was the breakfast. You sat at an abandoned picnic table in the corner of the quad, finishing your eggs, when Wednesday slammed her hands down on the wood with a loud thunk. You jumped in your seat, startled by the noise, dropping your egg back onto your plate.

"What exactly did you see last night?" she demanded, glaring.

Your eyes widened at her tone. It was harsher than normal, and she wore her frustration on her sleeve. A few students at nearby tables sent you suspicious and wary glances. Over Wednesday's shoulder, you could see her roommate, Enid, staring at you.

Most important was Weems, who looked down at you from the balcony above. You composed yourself and looked back down to Wednesday, shrugging nonchalantly, as if to say you didn't know.

Wednesday gritted her teeth harder. "But you do know. We saw Rowan get eviscerated by that creature. You were there. So why did you tell Weems you didn't see anything?!"

You furrowed your eyebrows, shaking your head at her, doubling down. This was no place to get into it. No place to tell the truth. You slid your notebook towards her.

i saw him this morning.

She huffed, stomping off. You knew exactly why you saw him that morning, actually. Weems had shown you her powers a time or two, and you knew that 'Rowan' was just her in disguise. But you also didn't know if it was something you wanted to share yet. You, too, had been a bit miffed at seeing Weems pretend to be Rowan, but you also knew Weems' powers gave her an advantage, and you were too loyal to take that away from her. You owed her too much.

The question of why still rang in your mind, though. Why was she so eager to cover it up? She had never at least lied to you, so this lie seemed out of left field.

You saw the fake Rowan several times throughout the day. Each time you did your best to let Weems know you knew, and she seemed wary of you, avoiding you at every intersection. You spent the night thinking, wandering around Nevermore, stopping in the library and pulling out several books.

Wednesday had shoved something in her pocket, something that Rowan had. Something about her dooming Nevermore, about being dangerous. You raked through all the books about prophecies, not finding anything of interest and giving up at around one in the morning. No books were missing a piece of paper, and no books mentioned Wednesday's name. You could find a few references to someone named Goody, but she seemed unimportant among the other Addams ancestors, having been dead for hundreds of years. You made another mental bookmark to look more into it, later.

You trudged back to your dorm, already regretting your choices, considering you had an 8 am class in the morning. The school was peaceful again, and as you climbed the stairs, you could hear the trickle of the fountain.

But the moment your shoe placed itself upon the landing, you froze. Your door hung open slightly, just cracked, and right in the way was the same hand you had seen on your first night. You straightened up, feeling more awake, and more annoyed, now.

You pushed your own door open, knocking loudly on the wood like it wasn't your own room, illustrating your frustration. Wednesday turned towards you, unimpressed. She had your journal in her hands, the other one not meant for your communication but for your theories.

It was open to the photo you had just taken, of the claw mark. Right above it you had put the photo of the deaf old man, and right on the photo of the claw mark, you had 'Rowan' written in red sharpie and underlined several times.

You crossed your arms, glowering at her. The hand scuttled towards her, stopping halfway. "So you were hiding something," Wednesday says. "You know that Rowan isn't Rowan. You know he's dead."

You silently swallow, crossing the room until you are right in front of her. Wednesday's eye contact is intense, and you look down at your own notebook, feeling her watching you as you take it from her hands. You can feel her breath fanning against your face, and she smells like pomegranate and fresh petrichor. You turn the page to the drawing you've made of the creature. It's a little off; some of the details are fuzzy regarding last night. But it's the creature as best as you can remember it, and Wednesday nods.

"That's what I saw, too. That's what I want to find," she says. "That's what you're going to help me find."

This time, you can't find it in yourself to refuse.

===+++===

this was the first episode and a bit of episode 2. i really liked doing the mute reader but boy is it hard to write communication without dialogue. it does so much heavy lifting for characterisation. can't wait to see where this one goes, and it'll probably take me two or three parts to get through the whole season, is my hope.

[historyslittlebish]

Hello. I would like to ask for your permission before I submit a full request.

Do you by any chance accept King Baldwin x Male!Reader request? It might involve NSFW scenario as well.

King Baldwin IV x Male!Guard!Reader One shot NSFW: (Completed!)

a/n: Hi anon and I know I declined but I'll still do it because I feel bad for rejecting, Idk how to write NSFW so it's gonna be bad but i'll do it. I also don't know if this is a scenario you wanted but if you wanna request a different one please do! Also I apologize because I have never watched the movie and I'm not sure how accurate this is.

==========================================

Warning: fluff, handjob, occ for our king I think

It was often unheard of, two men in a romantic or sexual relationship. Many thought it was sin, it wasn't something god accepted but they can never really know the answer can they? Why would god let them feel the feelings, why would god allow it to be an option? That is something many people never ponder enough.

Something that a knight named Y/N never pondered until he met with the great king of Jerusalem, Baldwin the IV.

Y/N had been hired as a knight since Baldwin was 12 and Y/N was 15 and a freshly knighted boy. As years past, Y/N was named best soldier in the brackets of the armies. He was agile, quick, resilient, strong, and most of all, loyal.

He was the kings personal guard which he didn't mind at all. He had grown close to the king, enough to get the king to show him his sore ridden face, his scars, his 'ugliness' but to Y/N, he was anything but ugly.

Y/N saw a kind hearted boy and man growing up, intelligent, brave, and strong willed, those were the words Y/N thinks when describing the king, everyone does.

Growing up, he saw Baldwin's determination to become a great king and to overcome his deadly illness. Only one could be truly possible but Baldwin was content, despite being numb to the bone, skin lesions, and more.

Today was like any other. Baldwin had a few things to get done but after that, he could have his peace.

Y/N stood slightly behind the throne Baldwin sat on, staring at the arguing lords and counsel members. Each fighting on whose strategies are better, who's morally righteous, whatever that is available to bicker about.

Y/N heard Baldwin sigh as he raised his hand and made a sound.

Suddenly everyone looked over and quieted down.

"I will meet with Saladin, we shall negotiate peace." Baldwin shifted slightly before hearing one of the older counsel members try to inerject.

"How do we know we can trust that Muslim r-" Baldwin raised his hand once more, immediately silencing the man "He may be Muslim, but we will respect him and treat him with nobility and equality.".

Y/N's heart thumped in his chest at the kings word. The kings kindness and true compassion was incredibly admirable but also making him lust for the king.

The people of the counsel glanced between each other but bowed at the kings words before swiftly making their exit, allowing the two men to be alone and at ease.

Baldwin slowly stood from his throne and looked at Y/N.

Y/N could see the exhaustion in his eyes, his beautiful sky blue eyes. Y/N snapped himself out of his thoughts and kept up a stoic expression.

"What now, my king?" Y/N asked as Baldwin stepped towards him. The king cautiously touched the mans arm and looked deep into his eyes. "I think I require a way to relax before I retire for tonight." As he said this, Baldwin's hand tools Y/N's and slowly led it down to his pelvis area where a little tent formed under his white and gold robes.

"My king.." Y/N breathed as his hand ghosted the man's bulge.

"Make me a happy man, Y/N, I long for your touch." Baldwin's raspy voice murmured as his being was consumed with lust. Y/N doesn't know how a man of God to dare go against him in terms of lust for another male but Y/N can't say he doesn't thoroughly enjoy it.

It doesn't take too long before Y/N helps the king to his quarters and settling on the soft and silky bed.

Y/N helps the king reveal his bulge.

His cock bobbed as soon as it was released from its confines. "Y/N.." Baldwin groans as his hips slightly buck. This is one of those moments when Baldwin thanks the heavens that the feeling in his crotch is not numb or too sore ridden.

Despite the sores, Y/N didn't mind at all. his hungry eyes took in all the kings cock as he played with the tip soaked in pre-cum.

Baldwin groaned as he sat half laying down as the man continued to fiddle with his manhood. Y/N loved the sweet sounds the king was making as he felt himself nearing his peak.

The man let out a loud moan as his semen spilled into the mans hand. As the king came down his high he stared at Y/N in awe, despite him being hired and a guard, he could still love a man like him.

Slowly, Baldwin sat upright and gently grasped Y/N hand, silently hoping that he would not get infected either. Baldwin leaned over and pressed a his to the mans temples.

Y/N softly smiled as he held his beloveds hand, enjoying each others presence. Love radiating off the two.

This is a sin but it is an amazing feeling.

A/N: Hopefully this is to your liking anon! Sorry if its bad :/

[stellar-skyy]

OLDER SIBLING HCS: MONDSTADT EDITION. (PART ONE) - Platonic Jean, Rosaria, Lisa, Sucrose, Eula & reader

i. SUMMARY: Mondstadt characters with a younger sibling. ii. CONTENT WARNINGS: Implied death in Rosaria's part, mentions of food/eating in Jean's part. iii. NOTES: Fluff, slight angst, gn!reader, they/them pronouns used, 2.4k words. iv. A/N: i actually read rosaria's and eula's backstory for this, and wow... give my girls a break. i wanted to include everyone in here, before realizing how long it would get, so here is a part one for mondstadt girls! stay tuned for the rest of the nations (and maybe tell me who you want to see next?)

JEAN

Okay let’s be honest, while Jean is an amazing big sister while she’s there, she is rarely… there.

It isn’t out of a wilful neglect, it’s rather that as the Acting Grand Master, her schedule is so tightly packed that she barely has time to breathe, let alone taking time off for personal reasons.

When she does manage to squeeze in room for you, it is usually a short slot of time between her usual tasks. Kaeya, noticing how desperate she was in rearranging her schedule to spend time with her sibling, did her the favour of crossing off some of her tasks and handing them away to other Knights.

(When she found out it was Kaeya who was messing with her schedule, she gave him a stern talking-to. She was secretly pleased that she got to spend more time with you… even if it meant chasing down some poor subordinates to make sure her jobs actually got done properly.)

Windrise is the first place that Jean likes to take you. If it’s a warm day out, she’ll pack a picnic and spread it underneath the shade of the trees. There, she’ll tell you stories; about Vennessa, about the origins of the Gunnhildr Clan, about her own adventures during her early years as a knight.

Sometimes she will reminisce with you about when you were a kid, clinging to her arm. She’ll tell you about how as soon as you learned to walk, you would follow her around like a little duckling, one tiny fist clutching the hem of her jacket. When you got a little older, you joined her in her preparation to become a proper noble, sitting beside her in etiquette lessons and observing from the sidelines during her knightly training. Even if the lessons were painfully dull, she’d always try and keep you entertained with little games to pass the time—or as much as she could without your mother staring in disapproval.

By the time she’s done with her stories, the day would have already almost finished.

It’s pleasant; peaceful in the way that one can’t grasp the flow of time until hours have past and the two of you are curled up on a picnic blanket under a sky full of stars.

She takes you for meals at Good Hunter too, letting you order whatever is on the menu. If there isn’t anything there to your liking (or if you’re just not feeling up for it that day) she is quick to whisk you home and cook you something herself.

It’s calming for her, when she’s able to direct all her focus into one manageable task like putting together a meal. She likes pizza best—a simple, delicious meal that she can put together with minimal effort and something she can easily share with her sibling.

When the day ends, and she must go home, she’ll give you a tight hug and kiss the top of your head, with a promise that you’ll spend the day together again soon.

ROSARIA

No. 1 protective sister right here.

Like, good luck to anyone who even thinks of hurting you. Their graves are already dug by the time they turn your way.

She made a promise, after all: no matter what happened, she would protect you.

It was first made when she was only a young girl, holding an even younger child in her arms. She brought you closer, squeezing her eyes shut and whispering the words into your hair. You were far too young to realise what the words truly meant, but you would come to learn their meaning as you got a little bit older and the remote village you both called home was massacred.

The bandits that took her in were apprehensive about the tiny child clinging to her leg. After all, it’s one thing to teach a little girl how to become a crook, let alone a literal toddler. But Rosaria refused to part with you, baring her teeth and yelling and screaming at anyone who even dared to suggest leaving you behind.

Your role was their errand person, mostly. While Rosaria made sure you were seen as the smaller and feebler of the pair, letting you drift away to the shadows of the crew, she also passed on everything she learned: lockpicking, thievery, and most importantly combat.

The bandits taught her how to fight, and she taught you. It was a compromise; keeping their contact with you minimal while also teaching you the skills you needed to survive in your new life.

(Even if you rarely got to use your newfound skills. Anyone who even tried to cause you trouble were swiftly taken care of by Rosaria.)

In her eyes she was doing you a favour; if you were treated as weak and insignificant, they would forget about you. And if they forgot about you, they were less likely to hurt you.

It was a blessing from Lord Barbatos himself when the group of bandits was taken down by the Knights of Favonius, and you were both swept away from the life of bloodshed and carnage that you had spent your entire childhood surrounded by. When you faced the Grand Master, you were considered young enough and inexperienced enough to be pardoned, while Rosaria began rehabilitation via the Church of Favonius.

These days, your lives are far less hectic than your youth.

During her free time (or rather the time spent slacking off on her duties) Rosaria slips away from the Church and sweeps you away for a day of bonding. If you need more clothes, she’ll drag you to every store in Mondstadt looking for something that fits you just right. It’s a sweet gesture, even if she brutally critiques your fashion choices. It’s out of love, I swear.

She also likes to just sit quietly with you, comfortably existing next to each other.  

Rosaria isn’t big on affection, but whenever she knows you won’t see each other for a long period of time, she’ll embrace you tightly and murmur a promise into your hair just like when you were kids.

“No matter what, no one will ever hurt you.”

LISA

When it comes to her loved ones, Lisa is a big fan of pet names, particularly the overly sappy ones.

Sweetheart, cutie, love—no matter who it is, anyone who is close to Lisa has probably been called at least one term of endearment in their life.

But while she has a variety of names for her favourite people, she has a habit of mentally assigning each person a different nickname that is exclusive for them.

Jean is her darling. The traveller is her cutie. Razor is her sweetie. You’re the only one to end up with two names.

There’s her most frequent one, dear.

“Oh, would you pass me that book, dear?”

If she’s feeling particularly affectionate, she’ll switch it to precious.

“(Name), my precious, are you feeling alright?”

Either way, there’s always a light teasing and subtle edge of fondness to her words when she talks to you.  

Good luck if you ever try going to her for romantic advice. She may give the most wonderful, effective guidance in the world, but it will be accompanied with heavy teasing and not-so-subtle prompts to divulge more details about your love life.

Even if you’re not interested in romance, she still finds ways to tease you.

Rest assured that despite her tormenting, she knows when to step back. She’s always been perceptive of other’s emotions, so as soon as she notices you getting upset at her words, she is already smoothly shifting the conversation to something more comfortable.

When you’re tired, she’ll let you take a nap in the library, either resting your head on your arms at her desk or curled up on one of the couches in the library. After chuckling at you (and making a mental note to tease you later about falling asleep so abruptly), she will fetch a blanket and tuck it over your shoulders.

Archons help anyone who even tries to wake you up. The library patrons learned to fear the wrath of the librarian a long time ago, and anyone who dares to disturb your peace will face the pain of Electro.

You become slightly feared in general, if only by being so closely affiliated with such an intimidating woman. If Lisa manages to get you to help track down some books, it only takes one threat of calling her to get the person to panic and hurriedly accept the late fee.

Lisa is thoroughly pleased with your work when you return, and might even treat you to some Sticky Honey Roast from Good Hunter if you’re lucky.

Overall, Lisa is a great sister. She adores her sibling more than anything, and that is what counts.

SUCROSE

Sucrose is such a sweet big sister!

She’s not the best at comforting others, but she is an amazing listener. Come to her with any of your worries, and she’ll nod along and consider your words carefully, only interrupting to suggest a solution to whatever is going on in your life.

She’s also willing to just give you a hug while you work through whatever emotions that you’re dealing with.

Speaking of which, Sucrose is a 10/10 hugger.

She will squeeze you just the right amount and rub circles into your back while she murmurs comforting words. Hugging her feels so safe and warm, like in her arms you’re sheltered from anything that could hurt you.

If you show even the slightest interest in her work, she will be thrilled. It only takes one question, a simple ‘what are you doing?’ to get her to vibrate with excitement and ask eagerly if you want to hear about her work.

She gets very rambly in her explanations but give her a little patience and she’ll go through her process, step by step. She’s more than willing to have you observe her experiments, and even participate in them if you’re confident enough to.

Sucrose is very insistent on you taking good care of yourself. She knows the detrimental effects a lack of sleep can have on a person’s health, so she makes sure you get a good rest every night, and lightly scolds you for staying up too late. On nights when you can’t sleep, she’ll make you a soothing cup of tea, and tell you stories to lull you into a slumber.

When you were younger, she would tell you all kinds of stories. With just her words, she could weave epic tales and colourful worlds, all from her own imagination. As she grew older and began her interest in alchemy, she strove to create a wonderland of her own, and make the fairy tales you loved become a reality.

Her research still has a long way to go, but rest assured she will keep going, to make your stories a reality.

EULA

Just like Rosaria, Eula is the sister who would not let anything happen to her sibling.

She won’t stand for anyone acting snobbishly towards you for your Lawrence heritage. When it comes to herself, she doesn’t care what others have to say about her. She accepted their distrust of her a long time ago, and their words do not affect her anymore.

But her sibling? Her precious, innocent baby sibling? Who has never done anything wrong in their entire life? Who doesn’t deserve a single one of the hostile remarks that they face simply for their lineage.

That simply will not slide.

She knows what it is like to be a social pariah—she was forced to become one ever since she was born into an aristocratic family—but she despises the fact that you have to go through the same thing. It only fuels her desire for vengeance, seeing someone who she knows is a good person being ostracised for no reason. She can’t help but wonder, ‘Why wasn’t I enough? If you must make someone your martyr, then why couldn’t you have settled with only hating me? Why do you have to drag another innocent person into it?’

She is well aware that her demeanour causes others to distrust her more, but at least it makes you look more palatable in comparison. Maybe if they do see her as the worst of you both, they’ll see you as a perfectly respectable person, rather than simply a Lawrence. Besides, she doesn’t owe anyone any kindness, not when none was shown to her.

Other than being a bit overprotective, Eula also adores teaching her sibling new things.

It started with bladework—an essential skill, as she called it. According to her, everyone should have at least one weapon they’re proficient in, and for you she chose swords. Catalysts were always too finicky for her, she’d never been fond of long-distance weapons like bows, and both claymores and polearms were too heavy for you at that age, so swords were the best option.

Soon enough, you were as skilled in Favonius Bladework as any knight. She was rather proud of how quickly you picked up the skill.

The one thing she is most enthusiastic for you to learn is dancing. I think if you asked her to teach you, she would have trouble hiding just how excited she is.

Despite having an open distaste for aristocratic traditions, the Dance of Sacrifice is one that she will always cherish. It is the one custom that feels close to her, and one that she only shares with the most important of people.

So of course she will share it with you.

Eula may act aloof and cold most of the time, but if you surprise her with a hug, she will simply melt. Physical affection (affection in general, actually) wasn’t given freely in your house growing up, so whenever she gets it, Eula doesn’t quite know how to react, other than embracing you back tightly.

(That privilege of being able to come that close to her without asking is strictly only tolerated by you. Anyone else, and she would have sworn vengeance ten times over.)

reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡

[bucked-it-up]

I finally have some time and think about what happened in the episode and also in a way this season as a whole. This is probably going to be a ramble mess and I’m sure i will get some info incorrect as i am mainly doing this off of memory, i also haven’t fully read the post episode interviews but i know the gist of them. Now with that disclaimer out of the way I’m gonna just blurt my feelings out.

One. I want to start that personally for me the season has felt off from the beginning but particularly from after the opening episodes, i felt like the pacing was off and disjointed. I enjoyed the episodes don’t get me wrong but yeah something just has felt off for me writing wise, everything seemingly has been resolved quicker and easier than i think anyone thought it would be

Two. Might as well get into the meat of why i am rambling about my feelings. 806. Well it was certainly an episode. The miceli bucktomy scene that we have all looked forward to since we knew it was happening just immediately felt off. It was their 6 months? But yet Tommy seemingly got buck a present that didn’t fit what he has said about basketball at all in the past and to me felt dismissive as i was watching it. Buck taking a picture of the girls felt odd to me the tension about it idk just wasn’t for me but that part of the conversation could have led to interesting turmoil and lead to more stability. The Abby of this part. My first reaction was Ew. I was never one for the spec that Tommy was Abby’s ex never felt right and didn’t click but I would’ve been okay with it if it was handled differently. Tommy felt dismissive towards why Abby would be upset about a 2 year Relationship where they were engaged, like she had every right to be hurt and react maybe in a way you didn’t expect or like. While this led to a good speech from josh and gave buck the information he needed to know he would be happy in the relationship even if tommy had been with Abby and he understood why tommy did what he did or at least accepted it.

Three. The Break Up. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! They both express a want for a long term relationship and tommy decides that no that’s not what buck wants? And it also feels like it goes against him wanting a family somewhere to be and they were showing that he was becoming a part of it in 805. Just what was the characterisation in that scene? They weren’t the buck and tommy i know. Him saying buck? Like fuck you writers. You could have written a break up in so much more of a respectful way, handled it so much more respectfully not apparently doing 805 the way it was just to make 806 hurt worse. You had such a beautiful peace of representation on your hands and you just fucked it up.

Four. What i know of about the interviews. As said above ive not read them. I’m not in the right place to right now but i do know the gist of them. Why do you want buck’s character development to just fall back to season 1 buck, Oliver? Why? Tell me why it would make sense. Buck has shown longing for a long term relationship from the first hook up of the show. He didn’t sleep around after Abby who was his first transformative relationship as he said and tommy was he second major one again something that buck said. So why Oliver would he choose to fuck around? Why?

Five. The Eddie and Buck scene at the end. I will admit i didn’t properly watch it because i was too sad and that scene felt like someone had just rubbed a whole load of salt in the wound. I find out then from my friend that they had buck come over to eddies while he’s doing that pantless dancing and has shaved. Feels like bvddie ship bait not gonna lie. Would buck go to Eddie after a break up? Yes he would they are best friends why wouldn’t buck go there. But why couldn’t the scene be different, have it come at it from a different way.

Six. I dont know if I’m going to carry on watching the show, i have no nope for bucktommy coming back but if you do I’m really happy for you sincerely i would like some of that hope tbh. If i do watch it i will probably watch it after hearing spoilers.

Finally, I’m not reading this through so pls ignore any small mistakes but if you do want to correct me on something please do it kindly and politely. I love you all, my inbox is open if you need to rant somewhere and please take care of yourselves.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Butterfly IV

a/n I hope y'all are still enjoying this! Do let me know if you want me to continue to write this or should we have one more lovely chapter to end this with.

summary: When Joel thinks that his life is over his little butterfly sends him a new reason to stay alive. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to love but when you are the meaning of love itself how can he not fall.

Previous chapters are on my blog cause tumblr ain't letting me add links.

warnings: mention of past trauma, forced starvation, fainting spells.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Your eyes snapped open in a frantic attempt to search for the body that was laying pressed right beside you all night long. Ellie wasn't there. You sat up quickly, your hand instantly coming to hold your head as a wave of pain shot through it. The sleep seemed restless at best. You tried to first fall asleep in the bed you and Joel shared, but the sheer size of the emptiness that surrounded you only made your heart hurt more. So you made your way to Ellie, wrapping your hands around her as you focused your mind on her presence.

Yet your dreams were still filled with images of Joel. Of the times you two were utterly, truly, fully emotionally naked in front of one another, when the knives you two held for self-defense were long forgotten. Pushed to the side. And you two just were. Fingers laced together as you started at one another. No words were needed at moments like that. Eyes said it all. Truly the window to one's soul.

If only loving and staying true to yourself was that easy. Writing it all off as the consequence of the outbreak felt lame after twenty-plus years. Surely by now, people would have adapted. Moved on from the past. Well, if not moved on, at least make peace with it. You hated the fact that all you wanted to do now was cuddle closer to Joel, hiding your face from the morning sun in the crook of his neck just like most mornings. He had been your shelter. He still was. Nothing besides death could truly keep you apart. If that scared you, it sure as fuck scared him. With that, you fell back onto the bed. Eyes staring at the ceiling.

"So what is this?", Ellie had slipped out of bed to the sound of Joel walking downstairs. The sight of you asleep, even if your eyebrows were slightly crunched up, made Ellie choose against waking you up. So she made the best of the situation and followed Joel. Now, about an hour later, she was inspecting the car that was supposed to take you to three places. Joel looked up from the side of the garage, "A wing mirror." Ellie looked around, "Where's the wing?" She questioned, truly invested in breaking down every part of the spaceship in front of her. "Have you never seen a car before?", Joel asked, and Ellie quickly shook her head.

Joel was not expecting Ellie to follow him out to the garage. When he heard someone stepping in, he hoped it was you. He needed to clear the water. The tension and the lack of your presence in the past 24 hours had been torture for him. "Sorry for pointing a knife at you," Ellie had first croaked out, and Joel had shifted in his seat. He cared for the girl. Even if he was constantly telling himself that he didn't. He had started to care for her the moment he bashed her into a wall. Joel wasn't expecting to do that to a kid. He could have given her a concussion.

"You defended Y/N; good to know you have some serious balls," Joel said, turning away from Ellie as he looked over the wall of guns. Ellie snickered, "You said balls", "You're a kid if it still makes you laugh", Ellie went into a defensive monologue after that. Trying to prove Joel wrong, but his face stayed blank. She offered to help him do whatever Joel was doing, but that mostly resulted in her getting star-struck by the car as she circled it.

"You want to sit in it?", Ellie's eyes grew big at that suggestion, a light smile tugging at her lips. "Get in then", Joel stood up to approach her. The worrier inside was afraid that if he was too far away and Ellie somehow got the car started, he wouldn't be fast enough to stop it. He watched as Ellie looked around the inside. Fingers grazing over different buttons, "Don't press anything", Joel said firmly, yet deep down he was enjoying seeing her like this.

"Dude, it's a spaceship," Ellie said as her hands clasped the steering wheel. Until she moved to turn it slightly, at which point it yielded to her motion. Ellie's hands instantly came off the wheel as it did, eyes snapping to Joel. "If you'll let go of it like that in the middle of the road, you will be dead", Ellie could swear she heard a light snort before Joel said it. Her eyes fell to the side mirror, catching a figure in it. She turned behind her but was met with the seat instead of the view of the garage. Quickly leaving out of the door, she turned to look back again. "Look, I'm in the car wroom, wroom," Ellie chirped happily.

Joel turned to the side as well. He met your gaze as you stood there leaning onto the door frame, hands crossed over your chest. For the first time, Joel found it hard to read your face. He couldn't make out if it was anger or just pure nothingness that lingered in your features. Was this how you felt looking at him? When he had one of his masks on. Or have you learned to read through them as well?

"Looks like you two have been busy," you said, taking a step closer. Joel debated whether he should speak up. More importantly, he didn't know if he could take being ignored by you. "Morning," you muttered to him as you passed, strolling closer to Ellie. A breath got caught in Joel's throat, and all he managed to do was nod his head your way.

"Missy, your things are still unpacked. If we want to leave today you better get going", you pointed your finger Ellie's way, and she copied your actions. Pressing her finger against yours. "Are we leaving today, though?" Ellie questioned, turning to Joel. "Yes, it's best if we do that and as soon as possible", Ellie hopped out of the car before embracing you in the side hug. Head resting right below your chest. You ran your hands up and down her side as you smiled down at her.

You couldn't and didn't blame her for making up with Joel. She probably needed him more than she needed you. And they had been secretly wanting to grow closer. Just instead, they constantly stepped on each other's toes. You moved to drag her with you. Her hands did not leave your torso as you pulled her through the garage. Ellie's laughter echoed throughout the place. "Could we possibly talk?", Joel's fingers skimmed over your skin, making you stop in your tracks. Ellie quickly looked between the two of you before muttering something about how she preferred to pack alone anyway as she stepped out of the garage.

You only stood there. Keeping your gaze fixed on the man in front of you. A male with whom you had been through a lot of shit. You two always made it. No matter how darn hard it was. You always clawed through. You could see it in Joel's eyes that this whole tension was suffocating him as much as it was suffocating you. "I didn't…I," Joel stuttered, quickly running his fingers through his beard, "I overstepped a line." You let out a bitter laugh, eyes coming up to look at him. "Ain't the first time, now that we think about it, huh", you wanted to be sweet and let him off. But you had done that for too long. Joel's jaw clenched, yet he didn't say anything in return.

"I'm trying to see eye to eye with you," "Joel, come on, your eye to eye seems backward", you pulled out a chair for yourself, sitting right in front of him. Joel's arms came to rest over his knees as he looked at the floor. "Well, forgive me that I want this. I want calmness, a touch of normality. I'm tired of running," you rasped. You knew those things you both envisioned differently. Or, more accurately, Joel had never discussed his vision for the future. If he even saw one. Sometimes his carelessness led him on suicide missions. Once again proving to you that he didn't want to live. And there was only so much you could do for a drowning man.

Joel shook his head, "Don't you apologize, I don't blame you for it", you let out a sigh, fingers twisting the strand of the hair between them as you contemplated the next step. "You can be angry all you want, but all I ask of you is human decency. You can want the whole world to get fucked because of what happened, because of the things that got taken from you, but there is a line in Joel". He opened his mouth to speak up, but you quickly lifted your hand. "I'm not asking you to become a ray of sunshine. In all honesty, that wouldn't suit you", you reached for his hand, and to Joel, it felt surreal to once again feel the warmth of your skin. He felt like an addict. Who through the years had formed a serious dependence on you. "Just try to be more human. Emotions are a natural thing, you know", you whispered the last part. Your eyes glossed over with tears once again. Joel pulled you closer by the hand. Instantly wrapping you up in his embrace. Finally being able to breathe. Finally being able to think. You were here. You were with him. You two were going to make it through. Yet the hug didn't last long as you pushed against his chest and stepped away from Joel.

"I'm not ready to forgive you." Those words cut deeper than Joel could have imagined. But he nodded his head anyway. "It'll take more than one nice conversation with Ellie," "I know. I… I will try", Joel spoke out with not that much confidence but he was willing to. Mostly for you. But he was willing to. You nodded. Just like the evening on the terrace, your fingers grazed over his chest as you stood to leave. "Meet you down here in twenty?", you asked softly. Joel's hand moved up to catch your palm, letting his fingers linger on your skin just a little longer. "Okay," he rasped out as you walked out.

Your hand was pushed out through the open window as you drove through the empty highway. The breeze was nice and cool. Ellie was passed out in the front seat. Like a true kid after too many stimulations. Joel barely allowed you to drive. Most of your attempts were met with him saying that you needed to rest or that he wasn't as tired yet, so after a while, you dropped your attempts. The last couple of days felt repetitive. Stops at every potential gas station or by any left-out car in the open. Sleeping somewhere deep down in the woods or further down the main road. Then repeat. Repeat. And repeat.

Ellie had slipped into the abandoned station as you and Joel walked around the cars checking for petrol. You stumbled slightly, bracing yourself against the broken-down car. Black dots start to cloud your vision. You let out a sharp breath. "Not now," you whispered under your breath as you slowly lowered yourself to the ground.

Your food supply was good, but knowing your overthinking brain, you had opted for lowering your portions and making sure that the two of them ate more instead. In situations like that, you were familiar with Joel and his habits. Bad habits. Habits of not sleeping. So if his body wasn't getting sleep, he at least needed to make up for it with food. And Ellie was always hungry. Like a true little puppy. As long as there was food in front of her, no one was going to stop her from eating.

You heard Joel's voice, "Y/N." Cursing under your breath, you tried to get back up but failed miserably. Hands slip down the side of the car as your bum hit the ground. "Love," Joel put the fuel tank down as he walked towards you, "You okay?" You nodded your head. Nonetheless, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as your consciousness started to slip. The ringing in your ears became increasingly loud. It seemed like there was just not enough oxygen left in the air.

"Did you fucking eat today?", Joel was kneeling right in front of you now. He cupped your cheek with his hand as he snapped his fingers in front of you, trying to keep you alert. "Ellie!", Joel shouts, turning back. Ellie quickly turned her head towards the two of you. The sight of you on the ground forewarned her instantly. "Fucking fuck", your head limped into Joel's palm as he held you up from falling over. "Hand me your jacket", Joel reaches for Ellie, and she quickly shrugged it off her shoulders. Worried eyes watching Joel. He carefully lowered you to the ground so you would be lying on your back before moving to lift your legs slightly, rubbing his palms alongside your thighs, "Come on, now love, come on".

You had your fair share of fainting spells when you two had just met. You were severely underweight then. The fuckers who had you under their control had run you down to the last drop. Joel had visited them after he got you to a somewhat stable state. That was the moment he realized he was ready to burn down the world for you. QZ was painfully quick to realize that you were Miller's girl. And sure as hell, only brainless people dared to cross your path after that.

"Joel," Ellie's worried voice jolted Joel out of his reverie. Making him remember the first time he saw this happening. Genuinely thinking the worse. "It's okay. She just fainted. The front pocket of my bag, grab a packet or two", he had never seen Ellie move so quickly before. She took off like a bullet, coming back with handfuls of tiny glucose packets that Joel always carries with him. "Hold this up", he motioned for Ellie to replace him by your legs. Joel quickly opened the packet, pouring some of it into his fingers. Ellie frowned as she watched Joel rub the white powder on the inside of your cheek before his fingers moved to rest over your pulse points. "Joel…", she whispered again. Ellie had never seen people faint. It looked too close to death for her liking, and you couldn't die. Not now. Not ever.

Joel only got to glance at Ellie as your eyes twitched, and you started to blink frantically. "Here you are, here you are, easy", Joel's fingers ran down the side of your face as he looked at you. "You didn't eat," he said firmly, "You two needed to eat", you rasped out. Hating the bright sun that found its way into your eyes despite Joel's shadow. "Y/N," Joel said in a warning tone, yet you were quick to copy him, "Joel."

"Should have told me at least", now came in a worried tone. It always slipped out. "Our communication is complicated at the moment," you sassed back as, he slowly helped you sit up. "It's not funny", "Who's laughing?", Joel only rolled his eyes. He was glad you were okay. That's all that matters now. He reached for the water that Ellie must have brought with her, handing it to you, "Drink this, and then we'll try to stand up." You downed the water as if you hadn't drunk in days. Your body still felt strange, but that little rush of sweetness seemed to have been enough to kickstart your system.

"Y/N," your gaze shifted to the side, where a concerned Ellie stood. You reached your hand towards her, and she was quick to sink next to you. "I'm a fine baby," you muttered, kissing the side of her head. "You should have listened to Joel," you snorted, "Oh, nice, you two are now ganging up," making Ellie giggle as well. "But he does know best. Sometimes…," you raised your eyes to Joel, giving him a small smile that he returned.

"Okay, let's get going", Joel helped Ellie up as she picked up the fuel tank that was closest to her. Joel's arms sneaked under your legs, "I can walk", you fought back as he carefully lifted you up, "Yeah, and I can carry you", in any other way, you would have argued back, but you still didn't have it in you to do so. So you let him. Wrapping your arms around Joel's neck, you cling closer to him. Joel hoped the walk to the car would have lasted forever. He missed your touch. Even if you were in speaking condition, it was clear that you had drawn a line. You were just business partners now. The affection you two once shared was nowhere to be found.

You were sat by Joel now. Ellie said she wanted to sleep in the back, but you knew the real reason, and so did Ellie. Joel still wanted to keep an eye on you. It was quiet for some time until Ellie pulled something out of her back. The ruffling of pages caught your attention, making you turn around to look at her. "There's not much reading here, but the pictures are quite something," she said, as Joel's eyes looked up to the rearview mirror.

His eyes grew big as he turned to her, "Throw that away now", his voice had a warning tone but the sense of panic was way more visible. "No way, dude, I want to see what the fuss is about!", Ellie shifted the magazine in her hands, flipping through the pages, "How do you walk with that thing between your legs?", "Let me see", you curved towards her, and Ellie was quiet to turn the picture to you. "Y/N, don't encourage it", Joel growled from beside you, but you only let out a laugh, "Oh, this is average. I've seen bigger and better".

You clapped Joel's lap a couple of times as you turned back around. A smirk spread over your face as you bit your lip, trying hard not to laugh. Joel shook his head in disbelief before glaring at you, "I will throw you both out of the car." You lifted your hands defensively, "Only speaking facts." A gasp left Ellie's mouth once she finally clocked in on your words, "Oh gross, you've seen his… no, don't answer that", she pulled a disgusted face as she lead closer to the window to get rid of the magazine. "Seen? Girl, I've…", "No!", Ellie clapped her hands over her ears and hummed a loud melody to herself to muffle the noise. You let out a laugh. Eyes meeting Joel's as he turned to you breathily, shaking his head, "You are losing it", you let out another giggle, "For you? Always".

The camp for the night was set, and Ellie was already fast asleep. Clenching your hand in hers. You looked at the ever-so-slowly approaching darkness. How it slowly seeped through the trees. The suspense of what was still ahead of you was unsettling. Were you doing the right thing? What if you were willingly bringing Ellie into even more danger? What if you didn't even make it? What was Joel thinking? Was he thinking of you?

You felt someone nudging your shoulder, and moments later Joel slipped to sit right beside you. You two seemed okay the past couple of days. But were you? "You're thinking loudly again," Joel said, handing you another cup. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. He kept a close watch on you tonight during dinner. Joel knew you hated when he counted your bites, but it was for precaution. There wasn't much medication on hand. If your conditions were to go bad again. Well, Joel would have gained a whole head of white hair trying to find the right medication and help for you.

"You know I will be pissing all night if you'll keep this up", you growled, only making Joel smile a little, "I see plenty of bushes that could be utilized," he said and you hit his chest playfully. "How are you feeling?" Joel asked you, bringing his own cup closer to his lips. "About us or in general?", your words took Joel by surprise. Of course, first and foremost, he was referring to your health. That was the most important thing in Joel's eyes now. "I want to give you space. I don't want you rushing into a relationship, especially when I'm like this," Joel blurred out, hands gripping the cup tightly. "Well, it's ten years too late, Joel," you said, moving to rest your head on his shoulders.

"You should give up on me," Joel said, the darkness making it easier for him to speak. He felt like he could almost hide behind it. Like it somehow shielded his fears, "Here you are wrong. Plus, we made a promise to each other." You lifted your left hand. The hand with the butterflies. The hand Joel had slipped a makeshift ring on a couple of years into your being together. He had sat down every night for over a week, trying to make a ring for you out of all the little things he found around the place. Joel had no idea why, but he had to do it.

"We had a little too much to drink and…", "Excuses, excuses. Unless you want me to take it off," you said, lifting the hand that was playing with Ellie's hair and moving it toward the ring as Joel caught both of your hands in his. "You promised to never take it off," Joel said firmly, "And I ain't planning to. That should be an answer in itself." Your hand reached for the side of Joel's face as you once again rested your hand on his shoulder. He gently kissed your palm before kissing the side of your head. Watching over the dark forest in front of him. That's why a man like you and I are here.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

HIIIIII

Omd I love your work so much the analysation between Kaveh and Alhaitham is just so ??? (Beautiful wth I probably read like 99.9% of your work bc I just love reading the analysis between them) literally EVERYTIME you post I get so excited like it just makes me smile

Anyway if it’s not rude to ask, Ive read some of your fanfics about them and I just wanted to ask how you make them so.. accurate? Ive just recently started writing fanfics and do you have any tips?

Also knowing how much you analyse these two are there any like details about them you found out abt the pair? I would normally do it myself but im not even up to the Sumeru archon quest 😭

And another thing, do you have any head canons revolving the two or do you just stick by the canon? (If you do head canons i would LOVE TO HEAR THEM.)

Hope this isnt too much to ask!! (Also ignore my horrible punctuation it’s normally better than this i swear)

Anyway like i said your work is amazing and byebyeeee have a good night/day/afternoon

-🍀

hiya!! AHHHH i'm so glad you enjoy my brainrot analysis of these two <333 i'm way too invested so i'm happy that people are invested in them just as much!! HELPPP now i'm kicking my legs and giggling that's so sweet :'''')

firstly !?!?! thank you for checking out my fics!! and !!!!!! i'm glad you like the characterisation! :'''') when i first got into haikaveh, all i was doing was reading fics before i got to sumeru. i had ideas for writing, but i was way too scared of actually getting them up in full in case they were inaccurate, because i felt that i didn't have a great grasp on their in-game characters? (not that this fear should stop anyone - where would haikaveh nation be without the authors who wrote for haikaveh before kaveh was even released??)

personally i spent a lot of time going over their individual character stories and voice-lines, as well as constantly rewatching character trailer videos and clips where haikaveh are together onscreen, and also apart, so i could start the essay, and this definitely also helped me develop a voice for both of them in fic in terms of dialogue and inner monologues.

for me kaveh's inner monologue is going to be almost the complete opposite of alhaitham's, where kaveh's empathy comes out in overthinking, and is fuelled mainly by emotion as he tries to rationalise his perspective (in relation to interpreting alhaitham), whereas i write alhaitham's inner monologue to be more observation based, and where emotion is implied rather than stated - which i find is used in his character stories, particularly character story 5 where his past is given. although no emotions are mentioned, it's evident how essential his grandmother is to him, only there is no detail about how he felt when losing the last of his family, and having to arrange her funeral, and enrolling in the akademiya when he previously believed it to be boring, and the years spent after his graduation, up until the point where kaveh moves in - in contrast to kaveh's character stories which are extremely detail heavy in these regards.

there's a clear contrast between kaveh and alhaitham's experiencing of emotion in inner monologue, especially when it comes to alhaitham's grandmother's last wishes, as it's an impactful line about her wanting him to lead a peaceful life, and there's no further elaboration on this; the emotion is there to be interpreted, whereas kaveh will be explicit about his exact feelings at the time, and how these feelings change, or don't change.

for me, both are interesting to write, as kaveh's empathy ensures that he will be in constant motion, avidly aware of each shift of mood in any conversation, or aware of a thought that alhaitham might be chasing. if writing when alhaitham and kaveh are not in sync, then justifying kaveh's mindset and his interpretation of alhaitham can fuel the dialogue (whether it be typical banter or strained conversation). on the other hand, alhaitham's emotions are more subtextual, perhaps he'll notice kaveh beginning to frown when working, which shows that alhaitham has been staring at kaveh rather than reading, or something. i interpret his inner monologue as him being thoroughly aware of how he feels towards kaveh, and therefore he has no need to reiterate this when thinking - again, in contrast to kaveh, whose mood and feelings fluctuate depending on those around him.

those are just my personal approaches in case it's of any interest to you! if you're hesitant to write because you feel like things won't be 'in-character', i'd argue that fanfiction as a medium ensures that works can't be in-character as it won't be the game's canon; especially as characters can be reinterpreted for each person depending on the plot and the themes. in general, i'd say write whatever, and however you want, so long as you're writing something. you can come back and edit it later, and you may find that new ideas come to you as you start writing. so long as you're having fun!

as for things i like about them in terms of in-game canon(?), i would say that aside from the writing of their dialogue and their character stories, their arguments on the bulletin board posts around sumeru are so sacred and special! when you get to sumeru i highly recommend running around to find them! it feels very rewarding to click through each post to find alhaitham responding to each and every post that kaveh makes <3

additionally, there's the idea that as alhaitham accidentally created an aesthetically pleasing rug print design, with (supposedly) kaveh doing the same by creating a practical, affordable rug, mirroring each other's traits of artistry vs practicality (thanks to haikavehtimely). the devs being thorough in their haikaveh propaganda is so insane, but if i had made haikaveh i would be doing the exact same thing???

as for design inspiration, the idea of them resembling plato and aristotle in terms of their beliefs is rather interesting?? especially with kaveh talking about beauty having a whole form, in that it's a concept intrinsically understood! especially with their splash art poses in mind (which is written about in the haikaveh bible)

blessed be headcanons! i end up writing them into my fics, but i think the spaces in canon leave a lot to interpretation, so i think i end up working around that? a lot of them are domestic for me, for example, kaveh definitely has a skin/hair routine, and i think while alhaitham may not go to such lengths, he values cleanliness and has a lengthy bath time (alhaitham likes the smells of kaveh's skincare and kaveh likes the subtle smells of alhaitham's bath oils).

also!! that kitchen is TINYYY!! i think it's !?!?!? that alhaitham canonically had that research lab redesigned into a house, and approved a design that had TWO bedrooms, even after kaveh rejected the building?? i think he prioritised his dreams of a reunion over realistic living conventions and that kitchen is atrociously small, and kaveh complains about it all the time and clowns on alhaitham, so they have to scrunch up when cooking, or they establish a cooking schedule, which, a lot of the time, goes out the window, as they go to the tavern or get take away <3

thank you so much for your ask! it was really interesting to explore all these questions, i hope it's been useful to you in any way :''') and thank you for your support!

[dr3amlab]

4. wicked games, dm.

SUMMARY — Y/N Gorgon and Draco Malfoy have a long history of mutual hatred. You see, the two of them have been pulling pranks on each other since their 1st year at Hogwarts, to the dismay of their close friends and supervisors. However, after a prank left Y/N completely out of her mind, she decides that she'll pull her cruelest prank yet on Draco by pretending to be his secret admirer.

PAIRING — Draco Malfoy x reader

GENRE — series, enemies to lovers, rival, comedy (?)

WORD COUNT — 2191 words.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — thank you so much for the love !! I've never thought that this would get any attention, really 🥹

PARTS. 1 2 3 4 5 6 finale

TAGLIST — @hopefulfuturenovelauthor​ @charlenasaxen​ @johnmurphys-sass​  @alittlebitofinsanitea​ @islayedyourmom @dramatic-long-coats @louieblue2 @born2222die @nikki-89 @jamlessgucciswegsunshineot7 @slashermadness

IV. AMORE, AMORE.

My dearest Draco, 

I think of you daily. It’s true. I think of you when I see green apples, books or even when I smell an expensive cologne. You probably don’t have a clue why, and trust me, neither do I.

I want to know everything about you; your favorite color, your favorite song and even your favorite season. However, i can't.

You see, i can't keep writing you these letters. I feel like i'm burdening you with my feelings, and it makes me feel horrible.

So i've decided that from now on, my feelings are mine to keep. 

This is my last letter.

I'll love you always, 

your secret admirer.

It was past midnight and you could see the moon shining brightly on your mirror. This night was a peaceful night, one of the most soothing you had known for a while, and yet, you couldn’t sleep. And as you couldn’t find a peaceful state of mind, you asked a question that plagued your mind to Athena who was also undoubtedly awake, "Athena," you started, "do you think I’ll ever forget draco?" , "what do you mean?" you could hear Athena shuffle in her bed, "Draco. Will I stop having feelings for him? Will I eventually forget him?" you clarified.

"I can’t tell you exactly, y/n," Athena spoke softly, "though, my mother once said  to me that you never forget your first love, they live in you forever," you could almost hear her smile through her words, "even if you move on, they’ll always have a special place in your heart," she continued, "as bad as it sounds, you’ll always compare your other lovers to your first because you’ll think that no one will ever be as perfect as them."

"So, i’ll never stop loving Draco?" you asked again with a shaky voice, "you’ll stop eventually," she said, "but your heart will never stop smiling at the thought of him," Athena yawned, signaling that morpheus was finally taking her in her embrace, "sweet dreams y/n," she whispered loud enough for you to hear.

You wished Athena was wrong for once. You hoped and prayed to Merlin that you’d wake up having no feelings for Draco Malfoy. Hell, you even hoped to wake up with an amnesia so you could forget the entire existence of the blond boy, even if it meant you’d lose your most cherished memories. How dare he? How dare he make your heart feel like it’s about to explode? 

Draco Malfoy was a heartless criminal that surely deserves a spot in Azkaban for he ruthlessly stole your heart and occupied your every thoughts without any permission. You wished to say that you hated every fiber of his being, but you knew that it wasn’t true.

"Tomorrow, I’ll give him one last letter," you thought, "then I’ll be done with him." You made yourself comfortable in your bed, "goodnight Athena," you finally replied.

On one side of the class, Draco was reading the latest letter he received from his admirer with, at first, a pleasant expression on his face but his face progressively got bitter as he got to the end of the letter, "What the fuck," draco whispered not so quietly as Theodore, his seat mate, heard him, "oi! What’s with the profanities," Theodore scolded teasingly, "man, shut up. I’m literally not in the mood for your bullshit," draco carped, "woah, dude, calm down! I’m just joking," Nott said in a dry tone, not really understanding the sudden outburst of his friend. 

"What are you even mad about?" Theodore snatched the paper out of Draco’s hand, "what is this? A love letter?" Nott cleared his throat preparing his voice to read the letter aloud, "My dear—" But before he could start teasing his friend, the latter snatched the paper out of Nott’s hands, "what’s wrong with you Nott? I literally told you that I was in no mood to deal with your jokes," Draco snapped grabbing the attention of all the students in the classroom who were previously chattering.

On the other side of the classroom, you were watching the scene unfold. You observed their little quarrel from the beginning, and you saw how draco seemed disappointed as soon as he finished reading the letter. You should be proud for your plan turned out exactly how you wanted: Draco took the bait, and was apparently smitten by his secret admirer. But why did you feel the opposite? 

'Horrible' was an understatement to describe how you felt right now. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t your brightest idea to write those letters to Draco because: The boy was losing his mind more than you wanted him to and you had realized that you actually like draco, and you would’ve preferred to stay in denial because those newly discovered feelings were not doing you any favor. 

"I feel horrible Athena," you whispered as you laid your head on your desk, "well, you can’t say that I didn’t warn you," she spoke in a singsong, "shut up please! Don’t rub salt in my wound," you whined, "you mean his wound," she rectified, "look at him, he's a thousand times more affected with this joke than he should've! Geez, I wouldn’t want to be Theodore right now," she tut-ted, "the poor guy just wanted to  cheer his friend up and now he’s getting insulted!"

You put your head back up to look at the two boys who were still arguing, "I wouldn’t want to be present when he’ll find out," she spoke, "find out what?" you replied tiredly. Athena frowned her brows in confusion, "that it was you who wrote the letters," she said in a hushed voice so only you could hear. Your face went instantly white, "fuck, fuck, fuck!"you put your head in your hands, "what am I going to do?" you whined, "he’s never gonna take my feelings seriously now," you mumbled. Athena looked at you sadly and rubbed your back as an attempt to console you in the midst of the chaos that was still going on. 

Never in your life you would've thought that you'd be worried to death on knowing if Draco reciprocates your feelings or not. Life is such a funny thing.

"Where is Slughorn anyway?" Athena tried to change the subject. "He’s like 10 minutes late, what is he—," she stopped mid-sentence when she saw the said teacher come Into the classroom, "Oh, speak of the devil! There he is." The teacher sighed with exasperation as he saw the commotion that was happening in his class, "Alright class please calm down," he said in an a voice that lacked authority voice for the boys continued to argue. "Please calm down!" he shouted and this time, he earned the silence he wanted with a bonus of startled expressions from the students.

Slughorn smiled with satisfaction, "First and foremost, I apologize for my tardiness," he said, "and for my little outburst. "He placed the books he was holding in his arms on his desk, "Now, let’s start the lesson shall we?" Slughorn smiled, "Can anybody remind me what we talked about last week?" An eager student raised their hands to answer the professor.

Draco heard their answer, yet he didn’t listen; he was too engrossed in his thoughts. Malfoy didn’t know what to think of this situation, why were they leaving him? Why is it that all the persons that say they love him always end up leaving him? He didn’t understand, was there something wrong with him? Could he fix his flaws? Draco knows that he’s far from being perfect, but then again no one was, so why is it that nobody wants to accept him as he is?

The blond boy couldn’t pin point the emotion he was feeling right now, was it fear? Disappointment? or maybe even sorrow? Draco couldn’t describe the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he sure can tell when he feels like utter shit.

Draco got pulled out of his thoughts by Theodore’s elbow nudging him. The blond boy looked at his friend confusedly, wondering why he called him out. Theodore pointed his chin in front of him and Draco looked away from Nott’s eyes only to meet Slughorn’s, "I’ll repeat my question. What is amortentia?" Draco couldn’t understand what the professor was talking about as he had spent most of the lesson feeling sorry for himself, "Amoretentia?" He mispronounced, "No, Draco, it’s—, " the professor got cut off.

"It’s only the most powerful love potion in the world." Granger replied with a hint of a cockiness in her voice, but only according to Draco, "it’s supposed to smell differently to each of according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and—," Hermione stopped mid-sentence and the girl looked like she made shocking discovery. 

"Shocking isn’t it, Granger?" Slughorn laughed, "How about you Malfoy, what do you smell?" Slughorn offered the potion to Draco for him to sniff. At first Draco was reticent but after a few seconds of reflexion, he took the  flask from the professor, "I smell vanilla, violets, and— strawberry cake?" Draco recognized that smell. There was no doubt in his mind that it was the scent that wafted from the pink envelopes. Draco’s heart frowned again, "if only I knew who it was," he thought.

"And you, Gorgon?" Slughorn offered you the flask which you took in your hands carefully, "Books, green apples," draco’s ears perked up at your words, "and—," you met Draco’s eyes and you felt a feeling of fear wash all over you, "and that’s it." You glared at Draco hoping to keep the appearances up. You almost gave it away but he didn’t notice anyway or did he?

"Alright!" Slughorn took the potion from your hand, "Amortentia is considered to be a powerful and highly dangerous potion. Despite its power, Amortentia does create actual love. The potion is—," Slughorn explained but neither you or Draco were interested in what he was saying  as you two were too busy giving a black look to each other, "Do you think he caught up?" Athena whispered to your ear, "I hope not," you answered as you broke the eye contact with Draco to look Athena but you still felt Draco’s narrowed eyes on you.

Perhaps the meteorologists weren’t the experts they claimed to be or perhaps, the weather was merely unpredictable for they didn’t warn the students of Hogwarts of the Cyclone Draco that was currently ravaging the hallway of the school looking for a person in particular.

"Sasha, there you are!" Draco’s shadow engulfed the younger boy leaving no light, "M-Malfoy," Sasha stuttered and Draco laughed, "S-Sasha," he mimicked, "you already know what I’m here to ask you," Draco gritted his teeth, "so spill the beans and don’t you dare waste my time," he menaced.

"I already told you that I can't tell you draco," the Hufflepuff cried, "I promised! I’m sorry but it’s not my place!" Draco poked his tongue in his cheek and turned away his gaze from the trembling form of the boy. "Promises are meant to be broken, aren't they?"Draco replied coldly as he got closer to the younger boy.

"Listen." Draco grabbed Sasha by the collar, "You’re going to give their name right now," Malfoy demanded once again but the boy shook his head vigorously and the blond boy sighed.

Malfoy released his grip on Sasha’s uniform collar and the latter fell on his buttock making him hiss with pain, "Sasha, Sasha," draco tut-ted, "I didn’t want to come to this," he faked a sad expression on his face, "I really appreciate you, y’know." The younger boy’s face displayed pure horror as he saw Malfoy reach for his wand, "But hey," Draco sighed, "Silly me to think you’d cooperate."

Draco pointed his wand towards Sasha, who was still on the ground, "Cru—,"The older boy started, "Okay! Okay! I’ll tell you please don’t do that," Sasha yelled, "I’m not sure Sasha," Draco shrugged, "Plus you know I’m not scared to say the cursed spells," Malfoy put up his hand again signaling that he was about to say the curse again, "Cruc—," he repeated, "Y/N!" the boy said while shielding himself from the potential curse that draco was about to cast. "Y/N, that's the name," Sasha said with a jerky breath.

Draco smiled satisfied that the boy caved in as he lowered his wand, "Of course it was her," he mumbled.

"Alright Sasha," Draco said as turned his heels to leave, "Loved talking to you, » Malfoy smiled, "See you around bro!" Draco emptied the hallway leaving a young boy that was probably going to be scarred for life.

[julia4today]

the return of arthur pendragon - angst?? PT. 1

this is basically purely backstory, i needed to get something outtt (merlin x arthur)

a/n: this is probably the longest thing I've ever written. +I wrote this on a computer so everything is capitalized n stuff. and i want to say that im really sorry this is delayed and also the first thing ive posted in like two months. that's really on me. additionally, i have a reader x hobie fic coming out soon.

if you have sent me a request I WILL get to it, some may require more research and brain power. announcments: i have an ao3 (i havent posted anything on it though) pendragonco

Most imagine the afterlife to be a wonderland full of radiant flora and a deity only decided by yourself. A place where you may live out the years you never got to experience. But you would be wrong.

The truth is far more complex. It is a realm where echoes of your past deeds and dreams intertwine with the fabric of eternity. Time flows differently, like a river winding through the core of memories and contrition, where every choice made in life reverberates on the very existence of the universe. There are no simple paradises or solitary deities here, but rather a tapestry of existence woven from the threads of every life that comes before and leads after yours.

However, to Arthur Pendragon, both definitions seem untrue. It almost taunts him with how easy they make being dead seem to a new generation of the dead and the living.

To King Arthur, the afterlife is a treacherous wasteland, where the dead seemed unnaturally content despite their recent quietus. All he could do was curse his demise and all the unfulfilled ambitions that haunted him. He wondered about his darling Guinevere, how she fared, now tasked with ruling Camelot in his stead. He thought of the fate bestowed upon Gaius, the man he had trusted implicitly, who now carried the weight of the living through Pendragon's legacy.

But above all, his thoughts always returned to Merlin. A man he had once known. A man he had once trusted. Arthur imagined Merlin. Perhaps Merlin was so grief-stricken he never used his power again? Maybe he avenged the death of his king. For all Arthur knows, Merlin himself could've died, he too could have been cursed to this desolate ether. 

In reality, the world broke. His world broke. The once and future king, the man destined to unite the land of Albion, through magic and none, is now dead. Merlin, day after day, ran his last moments over. Cursing himself for the way Arthur left this world. If he had just listened to Kilgaraah if he had heeded his advice. If he had disposed of Mordred the first time they had met, the King would stand before him long after. No war would have ensued, and Camelot would no longer be in strife with war.

The day his death was announced to the citizens was a dismal one. Clouds cast over the town square, and the whole of the city gathered to hear the words from the queen herself. Gwen and Merlin stand where Arthur had stood just weeks prior. Where Arthur had announced war, Gwen shall announce the outcome of such a thing. 

“My dearest citizens of Camelot,” Her voice wavers. “It is with a heavy heart that I make this declaration. Our beloved king, Arthur Pendragon, has fallen in battle. The king lives no more. His bravery and dedication to our kingdom will forever be remembered. Let us unite in mourning his loss and uphold his legacy with strength and resilience. May his soul find an eternal peace” A long silence befalls Camelot. The only noise was the occasional strangled sob. Coming from townsmen and nobles alike. The knights stood on only one knee. Taking their solemn oath to the King to heart.

In the months that followed the death of the King, Merlin withdrew into solitude, seeking solace in the quiet corners of Camelot and the vast expanses of the surrounding countryside. Memories of Arthur haunted him—laughter shared over campfires, battles fought side by side, and the unspoken bond of friendship that had defined their lives. He found himself replaying every moment, every decision, wondering if there had been a different path—one that could have spared Arthur's life.

In the privacy of his chambers, Merlin poured over ancient texts and scrolls, searching for clues, signs, anything that might point the way to Arthur's return. His magic, once hidden away in fear of persecution, now burned within him with a fierce intensity—a testament to the depth of his devotion and determination. He thought of his previous journey with Arthur, a trip in which Arthur came back fuming at Uther. A trip where they had met with Ygraine, Arthur's mother.

He wonders what spell Morgause had used to conjure the image. Whether or not the image was manipulated, didn't matter so much to Merlin. If he could only see Arthur one last time. One more day. If he could apologize for his secrecy, if he pledged his allegiance to the king, if he could promise to carry out whatever plan Arthur had for Camelot, he would be content. Merlin had believed that if he could just find the right spell, he could bring back the king. Even if only for a short period.

Deciding this was easy for Merlin. Evoking Arthurs image not so much.

----

OKAY, i promise i will get part two out soon. my hobie fic comes out on sunday so

@maumnuu - this is mainly for you :p

[sechsviciado]

when doves cry

reaperken/touka ; written circa nov/dec 2022

no warnings or ratings really?

-

so after my slight reaperken/touka rambling yesterday i figured that i really have nothing to lose from posting this small snippet of a fic (oneshot??) thats been sitting in my google drafts for nearly the past two years; if this is crappy i can always just delete it but ive wanted to contribute a bit more to keep tokyo ghoul tumblr alive so i figure why not?

i felt so smart when i came up with the title since ken was a dove during that entire reaper arc until the events of cochlea. i didnt really pay attention to prince's lyrics in the song but looking back at it now i guess some apply? not really any inspiration was gained from it though, i just grew up with music from the 60s-90s so the title kind of came to my mind and it happened to be a prince reference. not really any ratings or warnings yet?? its nowhere near finished and im not sure if ill even finish it because i feel my writing heavily lacks.

anyway, without further ado

how many months had it been?

it had been months — years — since he recalled feeling this exact way. of course, haise had felt this way too, but it would never compare to the feelings he had for her before that brief period of time where he had lost recognition of everything and everyone who once meant something to him. ironically, it's when he felt most at peace with the butterflies in his stomach, beating against his rib cage and the cage surrounding the longing which could never be released. he’s regained his memories now, but he knew something was different within him even when he laid his glassy eyes on her again on that first visit to :re as sasaki haise. why did he feel so entrapped and yet so wrongly distant even when he had no recollection of her prior on that first visit to the cafe?

it would never be the same.

it would never compare to the feeling of falling in love with her and the realization that came with it. the realization that left him in a state of both a mix of surprise and agitation for days and with a feeling that could only be described as his heart skipping a beat and yet crumbling at the same time. it would never happen, would it? he had chosen to face that reality when he was still his old self, naive and too ashamed of his actions to actually face her after all the pain he caused her as a result of the pain which engulfed his entire life, too. too ashamed to accept his new reality, hiding behind his eyepatch — too ashamed to admit he had fallen in love so easily. he wasn't any different now.

haise may have fallen in love with her through the lens of a reborn figure with a fresh start and no boundaries to stand behind (apart from his obvious shyness and the weird sense of familiarity), but it just occurred by fate. the same fate that had snatched him from her years prior had found a way to bring him back into her arms and make him belong to her once again. he can't help but believe that maybe there was some future destined between them; the embittered part of his heart and soul makes him realize even that destiny would probably be cursed or filled with further strife.

though he supposed that didn't matter now.

not when he was even more distant from her than when he was an amnesiac with no recollection of her apart from the same old feeling of confusing comfort and longing. it's humorous and yet painful to think about how low he'd fallen in this aspect, not even being able to face her once again. despite his older age, he was still just a boy when it came to this same ancient rush, wasn't he? it doesn't matter. she surely didn't want anything to do with him anyways, especially not after everything that he's done. he's betrayed her and everyone who was once a part of him once again, and he’s chosen to accept that painful reality ever since he vowed to stop dreaming and flung tsukiyama off that building. facades all break down eventually.

though he supposed that didn't matter now, either.

he’d be disposed of soon enough before any of this could matter at all — before hinami was to be the one to disappear from the purgatory that was life as a ghoul. there was no heaven and there was no hell; there was no afterlife. heaven was bliss and safety on earth while hell was anguish and pain.

it was selfish of him to hope touka would feel any sort of pain after all of the grief and rage he's put her through time and time again, but he hoped he'd at least be remembered by the person he felt he loved most in this lifetime — the one who hadn't thrown him aside but who had instead built a nest for him as if though her life depended on it. he can't help but wonder… he’s had everyone he's ever known and cared for snatched from his hands by the same twisted fate that led him to await his upcoming death, he doesn't know if the puddle of both coldness and warmth in his stomach is either fear or love.

he'd truly cherish any memory he had of her before he’d be killed.

he vaguely remembers telling her, years ago, that he'd be sad if she died; he just hopes she would be saddened at his death, too.

[foralteregos]

part one of me explaining acm!!! mostly copy and pasted from a convo abt them loll

@aerodynamic-acephalic tagging you since you wanted it

1 - What is ACM?

acm (Alternate Connection Multiverse) is a multiverse related oc universe that i made last year i think, idk. and surprinsgly ive barely drawn it so i have no art to show </3. ive been obsessed with alternate universes since like early 2019 i guess so . yeah.

my first ever creation with acm was just a little joke fanfic i wrote for fun, which inculded identity fraud and almost murder (thanks cobalt for that incredible act 2 drama👍) lol

but even before acm was made i still like, had ideas for au crossovers and such so, i guess acms main and original purpose was that rlly.

acm is technically a canon extended version/sequel of multiple other oc universes (more specifically future's canon timeline) i have (ITS A MULTİVERSE.. OK...) and i cant stop Thinking about it.

Ok, Main characters!

2 - The Important Characters

- Future, the young timetraveller.

Future is a late college student who dropped out to mostly focus on his new career as the ceo of his stupid (/aff) multiverse company. hes very young and clueless so hes easily pushed around and sometimes manipulated by others. he invented the multiverses "first" time machine and eventually rebuilt his enemy's (otherwise known as devante) Dimension Travelling Mechanism (devante never gave it a proper name because he thought he would murder Future instantly, and DTM was a back up plan just incase Future managed to break free.) after almost being killed by it.

- Equinox, the inventor and lone creator.

Equinox is the god of the multiverse, and works alone despite the couple of other gods that wouldve loved to help him with his 'situation'.

equinox is, not social. if i can say that. and very uyuhh easily angerable. tjats all i can say abt them without diving too deep into lore

- Timekeeper, the first and original.

timekeeper has been dead for centuries. being one of thr original versions of the universes before the 'loops' had started. he was stuck alongside equinox after his universe collapsed from a incident he refers to as 'Same Date Different Incident'. in which timekeeper and future BOTH invented the time machine at the same time, thus, causing one of them to collapse. and timekeeper was the unfortunate victim of a incident equinox couldnt control. Timekeeper met Future after Future almost died in his universe.!!

timekeeper doesnt mind being dead, infact, talking and being alive is something he'd rather NOT go back to. despite equinox forcing him into it somewhere around act 6, aka the second time future broke a universe but shush

3 - The Beginning Of Chaos, And The End Of Peace

Facade and Solace were two 'accidents' that were made by equinox. originally (aka back when i first made them) they were only meant to exist to destroy acm as a whole because equinox was tired of it

((^ im still rlly proud of this GOD why did i change it))

i guess that mechanism is still canon BUT now equinox mostly made them as a way for acm and such to continue acm and so it wont end up like the original universe but it just made it worse and facade and solace were kinda leading up to the universes destruction.

- Facade/Falen (He goes by Falen in acm i just prefer to refer to him as Facade)

quit his job as a (forensic, but still can make inventions) scientist, to focus COMPLETELY on ACM (OR IN UNIVERSE-WISE ACRONYM: ABUNDANT COSMOS (OF THE) MULTIVERSE)

he only has one arm, eventually got a prosethic because cobalt bribed (aka 'make this or ill Kill you') someone in the middle field

if not obvious, hes. not a good person rlly. yeah he gets to be a better person after realizing his purpose was nothing but to continue a story that shouldve ended ALOT earlier but yeah hes still a bad person.

- Solace, (yeah thats his name ok)

Solace was unemployed for most of his life, i mean his original universe was quite literally trying to kill people like him so-

unlike falen, his way of 'manipulation and control' inculded alot more violence than actual words and forcing. solace cant make inventions like facade can so he usually resorts to getting his own hands dirty for it.

I wont explain what they did as i want to write and draw it, but it should be obvious.

AND.. THATS PART 1!!IT MAY BE A LITTLE MESSY BUT ILL GO ON INCASE ANYONE HAS QUESTIONS!!:D

[albinocapybara]

Finally after being stumped on a name for so long, the LeshyCat children concept is here, first, of course, some info on the parents :)

(Btw im not a native english speaker)

If you have any questions about them or my other headcanons feel free to ask too!

How they met: Due to his injuries making it extremely difficult for him to adjust to his new life in the cult (let alone how he would now have to learn how to live with a mortal body again) on his own, the Yellow Cat (who i will be referring to as "Amare" from now on) was assigned as his caretaker to help him deal with the necessities that came with being a mortal again (sleep, water, physical activities and so on) on top of the problems that came with his injury. While Leshy at first felt insulted by this treatment (the whole "i was a god i can do this without the help of some mortal yada yada" thing), he soon realized it was for the better (while also realizing his feelings for Amare :3).

Leshy: Freed from Purgatory in the cult around 100-ish years after his death and 15 years after Narinder was overthrown by The Lamb. All his high priests and his witness (Amdusias, Valefar, Barbatos and Agares) had passed away before his arrival, making the former and current gods of death the only "familiar" figures in the cult (they both changed so much after their last encounters), although he still avoided both of them most of the time (Narinder because of his conflicting thoughts about the older brother, and The Lamb somewhat out of anger at them but mostly fear due to how traumatic Purgatory was for him), but dont worry they eventually made amends along with the rest of the bishops :). Also became friends with bat follower but she isnt relevant for this post

Amare (the Yellow Cat): Rescued from being sacrificed to the dead bishop of chaos in Darkwood after followers of the Old Faith killed everyone else from his village, works as a farmer in the cult. He was the only follower (aside from the first five followers of the cult, who are kept alive and act as advisors and friends for The Lamb) that knew of Leshy's past as an bishop, and though he still held resentment for the former god, The Lamb's seeming disposition to forgive him made the cat consider doing the same for him, volunteering to be his caretaker. Once their relationship was made official, he was given a golden skull necklace to ensure the two could stay by each other's side for eternity.

Now for the children hehe

They are twins (as ive mentioned in my other posts), a daughter named Camellia (Amare chose the name) and a son named (drumroll please im so proud of this name) Havoc! (Name chosen by Leshy of course).

They both have green moss-like fur from Leshy, and the head shape of a cat from Amare, but other than that their bodies are very distinct due to inheriting different parts from their parents

Havoc: His limbs and tail, as well as his longer whiskers, are from Amare, giving him a silhouette very similar to a cat, aside from the antler-like branches he got from Leshy, he also has two sets of eyes like Leshy used to have once, ironically though, he has rather poor eyesight, needing glasses to see things that are a bit too far. Despite his name he is actually pretty calm and enjoys the peacefulness of the cult, though this doesnt mean he is opposed to some occasional mischief, specially with his sister. Wants to help with teaching when he becomes of age (also im thinking about the idea of having him figure himself out as transfem but thats for another time)

Camellia: her limbs and tail, being from Leshy, are quite a bit longer and thicker than her brother's, giving her a broader and taller silhouette, as well as making her quite a bit stronger physically, she also has only one set of eyes and shorter whiskers than her brother, as well as no branch antlers. Is a very active person, playing with other kids and sometimes helping adults with tasks that wouldnt risk injuring her (most of the time they dont let her though). Also loves doing pranks and other forms of tomfoolery around the cult along with her brother. She is also very protective of him, getting into multiple fights with kids (and a drunk adult one time) who pick on him (aka bullies). Wants to follow her parent's job of farming when she comes of age.

[goatfactsofficial]

Honestly, I consider my self "pro-israel" but still very critical about Bibis goverment, specially since fuckers like Gvir ad Smorvtich are in charge. I think that with Hamas finally gone and this fuckers either jailed for good or gone since they are actually hated by the Israeli population rn (The only reason they havent kicked them to kingdom come is because its the middle of a war) a good faith peace plan for both sides can be established with a third party of trust.

This being said, why the fuck do people root for Hamas? Ive seen this so called progressive even calling them 'resistance'. These fuckers are the main cause that palestinians are in the situation they are in. They use all the money they get from aid to try to attack israel, use their own population as shields because they dont care about them and indoctrictnated them to hate since children. Do they really want to leave them opressing Gazans like nothing happened after oct 7th? Because Ive havent seen any goverment willing to do this dirty work because, sadly, Hamas wont reliquinsh their "power" peacefully.

Honestly, in a past I considered my self pro-palestinian and pro-israel, at least publicly, but these loud minority of Hamasinks seemed to have hijacked a movement that started with good intentions. But sadly it appears that this minority is becoming the majority.

Is there anything that can be done to revert this? To alianeate these extremist from the reasonable voices?

First of all, hell of an anon to get. If you're baiting, nice job. Otherwise I'm going to assume this is a good faith ask. (Though I'm still confused as to why you asked me.) So re: why do people support Hamas. I'm assuming you're referring to the Pro-Pal Left that has reared its head since October 7th. Honestly I think it comes down to the privilege that almost everyone in the Imperial Core has: Freedom from War. These folks learned about War Crimes in highschool or whatever, never bothered to learn what they actually were and the how and why of their drafting, and now they hear about Israel bombing hospitals and they can't imagine any possible scenario where that could be justified. To these folks War is two armies marching at each other in block formations in an open field. And perhaps their only conception of Urban War is the civilian-less and consequence-free set pieces of modern warfare shooters. And it shows! I've seen people praising the Mujahideen in Gaza as brave and noble heroes for slapping the side of a Merkavah with a tandem charge RPG all while ignoring the fact that the person firing the RPG isn't wearing any sort of distinguishable uniform and are therefore committing the crime of perfidy. And it drives me insane because perfidy is such a fucking poisonous thing to do. Any action which erodes a belligerents ability to read actions in good faith is horrific, and actions like that are exactly what Hamas' strategy and tactics are based on and around. To break it down for the pissing on the poor crowd: 1: Hamas plans operation and bases soldiers in hospital 2: Israel bombs that hospital, whichever officer in charge has made the hard decision that the number of military casualties is worth the number of civilian collateral casualties, as well as damage to the hospital infrastructure. (THIS IS LEGAL AND NOT A WAR CRIME) 3: Hamas makes up death count and has their media corps play corpse jenga 4: useful idiots in the Imperial Core see that Israel bombed a hospital (no possible reason for doing that other than killing innocents!) and the 3000 years of antisemitism thats hardcoded into their brains kicks in and all the blood libel floods out. As for alienating the extremists from the moderates. I have no idea. Frankly I could care less about what Johnny Jihad or his leftist brownshirts care about Palestine or Israel or Jews or Palestinians. I give far more of a fuck in making the world a better place where I can. And that takes many forms. Including skipping out on my draft service because I didn't want to risk being a part of the apparatus that does in fact contribute to the oppression of Palestinians. What have any of these "Pro-Palestine" leftists ever done for the Palestinian cause that comes anywhere near that level of direct action?

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

WHAT TERRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUG [mallrad] [i saw ur repost of nhw mal lmao]

I NEEEEED INFROMATION RN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT PLEASE

HI KOI!!!!!!!!!! sorry this has taken me forever to answer ive had a busy work week ouagh. but its MAL TIME NOW. well. technically amity time bc im gonna talk about the setting in general because i love it. whatever go my scarab!

IM GOING TO ANSWER THIS ASSUMING U KNOW WHAT NHW IS. IF YOU DONT IM SO SORRY but also the masterpost is HERE which has basically all the context u need i think.

awesome place to start is reading This Post because it basically lays out the essentials for amity in general and gives you a good idea of their whole deal (theres also this one. which is a joke. but its my favorite ever and i think you will appreciate the clarence)

since i mostly ran thru the basics of their plot timeline super quick in that post i can get into details in this one :] putting a lot of it under the cut so its not 12 miles long hehe

i really like leaving a lot of the amity stuff to be mystery partially because it will literally NEVER come up in the "canon timeline" or whatever since it all happened x number of years ago and partially because giving it an air of mystery makes it seem more myth/legend than anything concrete. which!! since its supposed to be the nhw equivalent of the spirit world i love the idea that its vague and mysterious and hard to comprehend that the Chaos Zone (colloquial name for the quarantine area around the city where they keep the trickster trapped) used to be like. a relatively peaceful idyllic city with only a small handful of capes and not a lot of action. that being said i do in fact have clam flavored brain worms which means i cannot help thinking about clarence and mal in so much detail that is SO unnecessary to the rest of the story other than serving to make what happened to them more tragic.

ANYWAY. all that being said that is my excuse for not having any solid ideas on mals trigger event. ive kind of played around with the idea that he's a case 53 (cauldron dropped him into the city mid-ghoul transformation and full of amnesia so he had. basically no identity before then and no idea where or who or what he was so he just kind of started breaking things) but honestly i havent thought abt it all that much bc its just not that important. either way. he started out as an unaffiliated rogue/villain. as ghoul, he was in his brute form like 90% of the time and behaved pretty much like a less cannibalistic venom. just kind of like. causing damage just because he can. really the ONLY two capes in amity at the time were Whisperer (clarence) and Afterlife (duck) (<< first duck mention btw!). Afterlife is a lot more apathetic to things like this (hes old. hes tired. hes survived WELL past the cape life expectancy but theres no real protocol for capes retiring because usually they just. die. so hes still here) and he really only responds to things he deems an emergency, and some rando causing property damage isnt enough to put ghoul on his radar. so that left Whisperer to deal with him. his powers are very nonviolent non-confrontational so his way of dealing with villains is to use his. basically tranquilizer powers to get them to stop doing whatever theyre doing (its a good thing amity is peaceful. this is NOT a. super great awesome offensive power and he can get very easily overwhelmed against more than one target). so he does this to Ghoul and since his he's a new cape and is not fully under control of his changer powers yet, his brute form drops as soon as hes calm and hes just. some sad disheveled looking guy.

so clarence sees this guy who is just. so incredibly lost. whether thats because of case 53 amnesia or like. post-trigger, post-changer state disorientation, hes just. like. pathetic. hes not being a villain because hes evil hes just doing things because he doesnt know what else to do. so clarence, who is way too kindhearted for his own good, offers to help him. and mal, who has probably never given this sort of softness in his life. just immediately fucking melts into it. of course he accepts that offer he has nothing else to do! he doesnt really care about being a hero or a villain or anything like that (having a morality crisis is boring and a waste of time) but this man is literally glowing and offering him a hand to hold and a purpose and something other than just mindless destruction

so mal drops the name Ghoul and gets his changer powers better under control and properly develops his master powers instead of his brute powers and becomes what essentially ends up being Whisperer's sidekick under the new name Purgatory (which. i really made on a whim at the time but now that i have had time to think about it really has a lot of significance to his character and state of mind and it makes me SICK)

mal has a sort of hero worship crush on clarence like. thats His Hero. thats the guy who picked him up off the ground and helped him stand out of the kindness of his heart and they know each other out of costume now and even in his civilian life clarence is funny and laid back and so easy to talk to and. mal is not those things. god he is so down bad. relationship wise i will point to this convo which i still stand by

but i think like. both in and out of costume theyre kind of inseparable. mal is like. suuuper super protective over clarence to the point where its kind of an intimidation factor to other people. scary dog privilege or whatever. i like to refer to it as like... if clarence was a prince mal would be his loyal knight. if mal was an animal he would be a falcon (fast, sharp, dangerous, always returns to its master etc etc etc).

its also really important to me that clarence DOES NOT see their relationship like this at all he is so. oblivious. or if hes not oblivious he just doesnt do anything about it or puts it out of his mind or whatever. i think one of clarences big flaws is that hes almost too laid back about certain things that he maybe should care about a little more? big "itll be fine" in situations where things . PROBABLY will not be fine if he doesnt do something about it. so while he doesnt really purposefully encourage mals weird hero worship with him he also doesnt really do anything to dissuade it either. so thats how we get to. where we get to. with them. ouhghhh boy.

i already talked abt this pretty in depth in the other post but trickster appears, kills clarence in front of mal, and it just BREAKS something fundamental in him. once the trickster throws him out of the city i think the prt has to drag him away kicking and screaming because theres NO way he would willingly walk away from that (ESPECIALLY because... clarence's body is still there. he never got a proper funeral or burial or anything hes just.... there on the street or on the roof of a building like hes nothing). they probably put him in some kind of custody which he inevitably breaks out of and goes out on his own. i think he tries to go back to the city only to find the walls already in place and no way to get in without fighting a LOT of soldiers and ripping through a lot of anti-cape measures. which he is emotionally willing to do, but hes not stupid. he knows he needs backup. so he seeks out the worlds most dangerous most awful notorious capes ever. and thats how he ends up with the slaughterhouse 9! his eventual goal with them is to manipulate them into helping him get back into amity and kill the trickster. which is OBVIOUSLY not how things turn out, but thats his motivation at least.

when wraith ends up in the public eye with the new haven wards and his costume is sooooo so eerily close to the whisperer, mal kind of Leaves the s9 for a bit? hes still a member and everything, he doesnt actively quit or betray them or anything bc thats like asking to get killed, but he stops travelling with them in order to. whats the nicest way i can say this. research? the wards. specifically wraith. that little unhinged piece of his mind that snapped when clarence was killed gives him this horrible idea that wraith is just.. clarence reincarnated. its probably been close to 20ish years since the amity incident at this point, so the timing even lines up close enough for him to be convinced. so that starts his weird obsession with william, which eventually involves him nominating william as a potential candidate to join the s9 in the trials (william has a Complex about this) and other fucked up things like the tide fridge (<< our loving name for when mal kidnaps tide and keeps him in jars or whatever in the spirit world in canon etc)

hes my favorite fucked up little guy!!!!!!! i hate him so much i want to hit him with hammers but also ive had a specific stained glass art piece depicting the biblical purgatory that i really want to draw as him and clarence so like. take that as you will. im obsessed with them i think abt them so much even though clarence has like no bearing on the actual plot of nhw since the whole "william is the next whisperer" thing is nonexistent. i got distracted writing this a FEW times so i maybe forgot some things so if theres anything else u want to know about them... hmu. i love 2 talk abt them so much <3

[esther-dot]

Lately I've been toying with the idea that Jon will indeed become king of the FF. It's the only reasonable ending for him, the only one that matches both Jon's show ending and Sansa's book foreshadowing (to marry a king, not a prince, not a king who had been). I think the show ending on such ambiguous (and bitter!) terms for Jon was decided because of the sequel. In other words, I'm considering the possibility that M. will transfer his 5year gap at the end, and we'll see them again at the end after some time will have lapsed and they'll be older and firmly in their positions. But, with this ending I'm afraid we'll only get hints of Jon and Sansa's romance on page, and nothing too explicit (although I guess that it might have a role in Daeny's death).

I think that, throughout the book, the famous "the FF don't kneel" is only meant to be subverted: they will kneel to Jon, after everything he has done for them, and he will probably settle them in the Gift(s). In my opinion, this ending is truly poetic. If ASoIaF is a fairytale, then the hidden prince does not become king because of his inheritance (which he has already foresaken just as he will reject the Targaryen inheritance: so vividly given as "I don't want it!" in the show, lol), but has forged a kingdom for himself, because he is truly worth it. I am not sure that he will go to the Wall because he will be punished, but regardless, he will become king of the FF. If it will be like this, then Jon's ending is the apotheosis of subversions.

And only as an equal will he be able to marry Sansa: when Sansa becomes queen, everybody will want her for her claim twice over, unless her husband is already king. I think this ending is foreshadowed in her ASOS, Sansa IV chapter: two castles in the sky, one black, one grey, become one in all the colors of spring. Note that this is something Sansa sees in the morning sky, meaning after dawn.

And with this explanation I've made peace with the disastrously ambiguous ending of GoT.

I wish you'll make your peace too, Esther!

(old anon btw, anxiously waiting for your posts for years, and now this darn thing made take a name. So be it).

It's so nice to finally "meet" you @justleaves!

I like that reading of book foreshadowing and the mess GoT gave us. You know I can't agree with most of the fandom that we can entirely or even mostly dismiss the show's ending. Too much of it gave me that, "it was always meant to be this way" feeling and since the ending of the show, Jonsas have turned up a lot of foreshadowing for Arya sailing away, King Bran, Dark Dany, Jaime and Cersei dying together...so many things were kinda-sorta right, just presented so horribly they felt wrong!

I've always felt very weird about Jon becoming King of the FF, most of us Jonsas reject that out of hand because it really rubs us the wrong way, but I had a series of anons critical of Martin's handling of aspects of Dany's POV some time ago, particularly how he characterized the Dothraki, and I did go back to read/re-watch some interviews, and I've accepted he doesn't share our sensibilities there, or on a handful of other issues. I hadn't even realized I was projecting when I dismissed the possibility of a kid from a different culture becoming the leader of an indigenous group. To me that is inherently negative. But of course, at the time when Martin began all this, it wasn't generally perceived that way, and we have Mance so...

Right after GoT ended some of us speculated that not including the Gift was why they had Jon ride off past the Wall with the FF, while in the books, he might be responsible for the Gift, so I really like how you've blended the two. I've written before about how it would make sense to me that Jon rejects the Stark/Northern claim and then rejects the Targaryen/Southern claim, and is rewarded in he end for those decisions, and I think it would be a more satisfying resolution to the bastard struggle if he is chosen as a leader because of who he is rather than who his "father" is (whether we mean Ned's son -> KitN or Rhaegar's son -> Targ heir). The way Jon is of the North, has such connections to the Starks (whether as Ned's bastard or Lyanna's boy post parentage reveal) as well as his time with the FF, the understanding he has and care he has for them which others do not, well, it certainly sets him up as a great bridge between the cultures. A person uniquely capable of creating a lasting peace.

I also really like your idea of the time-lapse because a) Sansa's age b) allowing all these revelations time to settle. I can't rationalize how the cast of characters would accept Jon as the legitimized son of Ned, only to turn around and accept that actually he's Lyanna's son, and how they'd be ok with a Jonsa marriage immediately thereafter. And that's not even dealing with how he'll be perceived/the rumors that will be swirling around him post rez and whatever his actions are immediately after. Love it in fics, but when I think about it in Martin's words, hard for me to imagine, so the idea that in a few years after Jon has established himself they'd be able to marry, that makes sense to me.

I think this ending is foreshadowed in her ASOS, Sansa IV chapter: two castles in the sky, one black, one grey, become one in all the colors of spring. Note that this is something Sansa sees in the morning sky, meaning after dawn.

That is a beautiful reading of the scene! I can easily see that being the idea! The other reading I've seen on this is that it's the Jon and Sansa competing claims being joined as the solution to the Northern succession crisis (that may be @agentrouka-blog's spec? I'm not successfully turning anything up atm). I had actually written into the margins in my copy "sounds like Winterfell" by the line about a castle in ruins, and later in ASOS, we have back to back Jon and Sansa chapters that talk about Winterfell and have a weird number of similarities (link). But, specifically, the ruins/rebuilding idea seems like it points to Jon and Sansa's stories converging and allowing them to restore Winterfell together:

The warmth took some of the ache from his muscles and made him think of Winterfell's muddy pools, steaming and bubbling in the godswood. Winterfell, he thought. Theon left it burned and broken, but I could restore it. Surely his father would have wanted that, and Robb as well. They would never have wanted the castle left in ruins. (Jon XII, ASOS) The snow fell and the castle rose. Two walls ankle-high, the inner taller than the outer. Towers and turrets, keeps and stairs, a round kitchen, a square armory, the stables along the inside of the west wall. It was only a castle when she began, but before very long Sansa knew it was Winterfell. She found twigs and fallen branches beneath the snow and broke off the ends to make the trees for the godswood. For the gravestones in the lichyard she used bits of bark. Soon her gloves and her boots were crusty white, her hands were tingling, and her feet were soaked and cold, but she did not care. The castle was all that mattered. Some things were hard to remember, but most came back to her easily, as if she had been there only yesterday. The Library Tower, with the steep stonework stair twisting about its exterior. The gatehouse, two huge bulwarks, the arched gate between them, crenellations all along the top . . . (Sansa VII, ASOS)

So as always, I see the pros, I see the cons, I can't make up my mind, but I'm ok with that. I have no problem talking about GoT/my frustrations when I get an ask, but after I wrote my post canon fic Free, I just...wasn't angry anymore. D&D's choices will always baffle me, I'm disappointed we don't have TWOW yet, but I enjoy the different spec, fics, gifs, and art we have in the Jonsa fandom, so as long as we're all having fun, I'm happy.

I'd love to read any other observations you have about ASOIAF and fairytales, I think posts about parallels with other lit are fascinating!

[scotianostra]

On July 5th 1560 The Treaty of Edinburgh was drawn up between England and France bringing to an end the siege by English troops of French forces occupying Leith. (some places say July 6th)

Two events in 1560 combined to create the environment for the signing of the Treaty of Edinburgh. In February, the Treaty of Berwick was signed, which led to English troops entering Scotland. And in June, the Catholic Mary of Guise, mother of Mary, Queen of Scots, and co-Regent of Scotland, died. That latter event signalled and end to Catholic resistance in Scotland. The Treaty of Edinburgh was then concluded on the 6th of July, 1560.

With the assent of the Scottish Lords of the Congregation, the Commissioners of Queen Elizabeth I and French representatives in Scotland agreed to formally conclude the Siege of Leith, abolish the ‘Auld Alliance’ between France and Scotland, establish a new Anglo Scottish accord, and maintain the peace between England and France that had been agreed by the Treaty of Cateau-Cambresis. Also included in the Treaty was the agreement for Mary, Queen of Scots, and her husband, the French King François II, to give up Mary’s claim to the English crown and to recognise Elizabeth I as rightful Queen of England.

The earlier Treaty of Berwick was signed on the 27th of February, 1560, between the representatives of Queen Elizabeth I of England and the Scottish Lords of the Congregation. The result of that treaty was that an English fleet and an army came to Scotland to help expel the ten thousand French troops that were defending the Regency of the Catholic Mary of Guise. The reason Elizabeth was so keen on that treaty was because she feared that France intended to rule Scotland, which would have threatened her realm. In addition, she feared greater unity between Scotland and France, and in particular, Mary Stewart’s claim to her throne.

Mary had a strong claim to that throne, through her grandfather, James IV, who was married to Margaret Tudor, sister of Henry VIII. Catholic Mary was therefore a legitimate relative of Henry VIII, unlike Protestant Elizabeth, who was illegitimate, at least in Catholic eyes, because they saw her father’s marriage to Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth’s mother, as being illegal. Ipso facto, she was not the true Queen of England.

In addition, when Mary had married the then fifteen year old Dauphin, François, on the 24th of April, 1558, when she was herself just fourteen, the two countries had signed an accord. That agreement stipulated that the crowns of Scotland and France would be unified if there were children of the marriage, and the crown of Scotland would be given to France if there were not. From a French point of view, because Mary had legitimate claims, they wanted her to be the Queen of England, Scotland and France. Voilà!

Another factor concerning Elizabeth was the desire to further hasten the Reformation in Scotland, which is why the Scottish Lords of the Congregation were trying to get the Catholic French expelled. For Elizabeth, if Scotland were Protestant, that would make it an ally and help protect England. Armed conflict ensued and the English arrived. French troops retreated, and fortified the port and town of Leith against the combined force of English and Scottish Protestants. And so began the Siege of Leith.

With the death of Mary of Guise, on the 11th of June, 1560, the figurehead of the Scottish Catholic resistance was removed. Mary of Guise had been ruling as Queen Regent on behalf of her absent daughter, Mary, Queen of Scots, who was at that time also Queen Consort in France. In Mary’s absence, the Lords of the Congregation acted on Scotland’s behalf or more properly, their own behalf. Some were confirmed Protestants and couldn’t see past their religious fervour, but some were just chancers who saw an opportunity to claim power for themselves. The terms of the treaty were drawn up on the 5th of July by John de Montluc, Bishop of Valence, Charles de la Rochefoucault, Sieur de Randan, Sir William Cecil and Nicholas Wotton, Dean of Canterbury and York. It was concluded on the following day, the 6th of July, 1560. Nobody asked Mary, Queen of Scots, if that would be OK.

After the Treaty was signed, the French and English armies left Scotland and left the Scottish Protestant nobles in charge – properly delighted with themselves. Later, in August, the ‘Reformation Parliament’ of 1560 met and ratified the acts that would establish the Protestant Kirk in Scotland. It prohibited the practise of the Latin Mass in Scotland and denied the authority of the Pope, in effect implementing the Reformation across Scotland. The detestable John Knox was one of the leading figures during the rebellion against Mary of Guise and French Catholic control of Scotland. The signing of the Treaty and the removal of the French enabled him to return from Europe to lead the fight to make Scotland Protestant. Ultimately, he and his Calvinist successors succeeded. On the 5th of December, 1560, the eighteen years old Mary, Queen of Scots, was widowed and, as Charles IX had no real incentive to support her, she was increasingly isolated in France. The French also had more to do with their own affairs after the outbreak of the Wars of Religion. And so, on the 19th of August, 1561, Mary had little choice but to accept an invitation to return to Protestant Scotland as Queen. Now, don’t forget, the Treaty of Edinburgh had not been ratified by Mary, Queen of Scots. She was the reigning monarch and it needed her ratification, but as somebody might have said, “Ach weel, it was lackin’ only a signature and hersel’ still a wee bit lassie, just.” Mary was put under considerable pressure to ratify the Treaty, but she had no intention of so doing. She viewed the Lords of the Congregation as rebels and traitors against herself and her mother, Mary of Guise. Another reason for not ratifying the treaty was because it officially declared Elizabeth I Queen of England, effectively ending Mary’s claim to that throne. When all was said and done, Mary had to accept the terms of the Treaty, but she never signed.