#im so proud of the name i came up with for their son

[albinocapybara]

Finally after being stumped on a name for so long, the LeshyCat children concept is here, first, of course, some info on the parents :)

(Btw im not a native english speaker)

If you have any questions about them or my other headcanons feel free to ask too!

How they met: Due to his injuries making it extremely difficult for him to adjust to his new life in the cult (let alone how he would now have to learn how to live with a mortal body again) on his own, the Yellow Cat (who i will be referring to as "Amare" from now on) was assigned as his caretaker to help him deal with the necessities that came with being a mortal again (sleep, water, physical activities and so on) on top of the problems that came with his injury. While Leshy at first felt insulted by this treatment (the whole "i was a god i can do this without the help of some mortal yada yada" thing), he soon realized it was for the better (while also realizing his feelings for Amare :3).

Leshy: Freed from Purgatory in the cult around 100-ish years after his death and 15 years after Narinder was overthrown by The Lamb. All his high priests and his witness (Amdusias, Valefar, Barbatos and Agares) had passed away before his arrival, making the former and current gods of death the only "familiar" figures in the cult (they both changed so much after their last encounters), although he still avoided both of them most of the time (Narinder because of his conflicting thoughts about the older brother, and The Lamb somewhat out of anger at them but mostly fear due to how traumatic Purgatory was for him), but dont worry they eventually made amends along with the rest of the bishops :). Also became friends with bat follower but she isnt relevant for this post

Amare (the Yellow Cat): Rescued from being sacrificed to the dead bishop of chaos in Darkwood after followers of the Old Faith killed everyone else from his village, works as a farmer in the cult. He was the only follower (aside from the first five followers of the cult, who are kept alive and act as advisors and friends for The Lamb) that knew of Leshy's past as an bishop, and though he still held resentment for the former god, The Lamb's seeming disposition to forgive him made the cat consider doing the same for him, volunteering to be his caretaker. Once their relationship was made official, he was given a golden skull necklace to ensure the two could stay by each other's side for eternity.

Now for the children hehe

They are twins (as ive mentioned in my other posts), a daughter named Camellia (Amare chose the name) and a son named (drumroll please im so proud of this name) Havoc! (Name chosen by Leshy of course).

They both have green moss-like fur from Leshy, and the head shape of a cat from Amare, but other than that their bodies are very distinct due to inheriting different parts from their parents

Havoc: His limbs and tail, as well as his longer whiskers, are from Amare, giving him a silhouette very similar to a cat, aside from the antler-like branches he got from Leshy, he also has two sets of eyes like Leshy used to have once, ironically though, he has rather poor eyesight, needing glasses to see things that are a bit too far. Despite his name he is actually pretty calm and enjoys the peacefulness of the cult, though this doesnt mean he is opposed to some occasional mischief, specially with his sister. Wants to help with teaching when he becomes of age (also im thinking about the idea of having him figure himself out as transfem but thats for another time)

Camellia: her limbs and tail, being from Leshy, are quite a bit longer and thicker than her brother's, giving her a broader and taller silhouette, as well as making her quite a bit stronger physically, she also has only one set of eyes and shorter whiskers than her brother, as well as no branch antlers. Is a very active person, playing with other kids and sometimes helping adults with tasks that wouldnt risk injuring her (most of the time they dont let her though). Also loves doing pranks and other forms of tomfoolery around the cult along with her brother. She is also very protective of him, getting into multiple fights with kids (and a drunk adult one time) who pick on him (aka bullies). Wants to follow her parent's job of farming when she comes of age.

[hugshughes]

invisible string L. Hughes

Luke Hughes x fem!reader

synopsis - Luke had been one of your closest friends since childhood. Somehow, everything in both of your lives just came back to each other.

wc - 3.8k

contains - cursing, literally nothing, extremeeeeeeeee fluff, kissing, hugging, cuddling, (im just a girl ok), obliviousness, this is a bittttt cliche... THEY CONFESS AND KISS IN THE RAIN OK???? idiots in love, eating and drinking. TAKES PLACE SUMMER 2023 (like end of May???)

an - SLIGHTLY EDITED!!! im hunrgy. anyways THIS WAS SO FCUKINF CUTE TO WRITEEEEEEE. my luke baby is so invisible string😇😇😇😇. ugh i miss him. i (possibly intoxicatedly) karaoked better man by Taylor Swift the other night just fyi. my author notes are like my personal diary because i assume no one reads them. i could prob say my ss number and full name address and no one would ever know. do u guys know how fuckign embarrassing it is to reread a fic u posted a few days ago and find typos like u guys probably think im stupid and hate me now. this was not at all about Luke Hughes or Invisible String... ENJOY BABIES!!!!

-

green was the color of the grass, where i used to read in centennial park. i used to think i would meet somebody there.

You were what some would call a hopeless romantic. You loved love. You loved reading it, watching it, seeing it in real life, it was just beautiful to you.

You'd grown up with the Hughes boys. They were your neighbors during the summer, your family's lake house being next to theirs. You were the same age as their youngest son, Luke. You two were ride or dies during the summer, and when you finally got a phone in seventh grade, you two texted the rest of the year.

It was finally summer, your school year at Notre Dame had come to a close and you were able to fly home and go to the lake with your family all by May 13th. You watched the final Canes games against the boys, you were sad for them, but so proud of your best friend.

It was nearing June, and you were alone in the lake house, opting out of the afternoon boat ride for some peace and quiet. You walked through the halls, stopping at the dresser covered in summer photos. You and your brother, you and Luke, more you and Luke, and some of your brother and the Hughes.

teal was the color of your shirt, when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop. you used to work at to make a little money.

You noticed one of your favorite photos wasn't there, the one of you and Luke when you were about 16, you're both standing behind the counter at the ice cream place you two worked at during that summer. You spent all day with Luke during those days, and it was the best.

You opened the dresser the photos sat on, seeing more photos. The ice cream shop one, and one you weren't anticipating. You didn't know your mom had printed and framed it. It was you and Luke the summer you were 18, both smiling at the camera with the sunset in the background as you sat on his lap in an Adirondack chair in the backyard of the Hughes' house.

The photo gave you crazy butterflies. That summer was the last time you saw Luke during the summer. Last summer you two were both at the lake at different times, you'd seen his whole family, minus him. His mom told you how he was still with his college teammates on a different Michigan lake. You had to act like you didn't really care, even though you did, so much.

Since the picture was just sitting in the dresser, not on display, you decided to take it to your room. You placed it gently on your bedside table, smiling then leaving to go down to the pool.

time, curious time. gave me no compasses, gave me no signs.

It was weird how you and Luke always seemed to be pulled together. There was some driving force between you two that was unbreakable, not even if you wanted it to. When it wasn't the summer, you lived three hours from the Hughes family, so randomly bumping into Luke was even more bizarre than anything else.

You remember when you were 15, you and your mom were picking up dinner one night at a local place and in walks Luke, Jack, and Ellen. You squealed when you saw him, running over to say hey. The boys had been in town for hockey, weirdly enough.

Interactions like that happened way more often than normal, you randomly bumped into the boy at least once every two or three months for years.

were there clues i didn't see? and isn't it just so pretty to think,

You remember when you were surprised by Luke at age 17. He came and surprised you as your prom date and you were floored. He had flowers and a corsage for you, and his tie matched your dress perfectly. Your moms thought it was the cutest thing ever, how you both blushed and giggled when near each other.

all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Even though you two couldn't seem to get away from each other, neither of you ever made a move romantically. It just didn't seem realistic, you already lived hours away from each other and were going to colleges even farther, well Luke was going to the NHL but you get the point.

You guys were just best friends, always best friends. Your families knew, especially his brothers. They were your biggest fans, probably because they saw how you made their baby brother, how soft he was with you. You made him gentle, but also made him more comfortable and talkative, which Quinn and Jack loved.

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Luke made you weak, and your family noticed. You could jokingly bicker with him, but when it came down to real disagreement, you never could with Luke. He just gave you those deep hazel eyes and you were melted on the floor. He was just that person for you. The one who could ask you to do anything under the sun and you'd do it for his praise.

You spent long nights with Luke, sitting in the backyard of one of your lake houses and watching the moon and stars and talking about anything. You could listen to Luke talk about property tax for hours and probably never get bored, that's how much you admired him.

bad was the blood of the song in the cab, on your first trip to L.A. you ate at my favorite spot for dinner.

You remember the weirdest instance of your bumping into each other, you were in Los Angeles with friends during the very beginning of winter break and saw Luke eating in the same restaurant as you with a couple of his friends.

You texted him, not believing what you were seeing. You asked him if he was in L.A. When he responded 'Yes just for a few days why' you were shocked. You stood and made your way across the noisy restaurant and went up to his table, where you put your hand on his shoulder and when he turned around, he was the most surprised he'd been in a long time.

You remember he jumped up, hugging you so tightly, pulling away with his jaw still dropped. You guys always told each other you had to stop meeting 'like this', but it never seemed to stop.

The next day, you two planned to branch out from your friends and meet up for lunch. You guys drove a little ways from Los Angeles, east into the country, and ate at the cutest restaurant that had a view of a lake. You two always found yourselves together by lakes.

bold was the waitress on our three year trip, getting lunches down by the lake. she said i looked like an american singer.

You remember how bold your waitress was at that restaurant, immediately boasting about how she thought you two were the cutest couple she'd ever seen. Your face was burning hot, trying not to have a breakdown in the middle of the restaurant. It got even worse when Luke didn't correct her and just said 'Thank you', instead.

That was the last time you saw Luke, you were hoping to see him very soon, though. It had been almost two weeks since the loss to the Canes, so it made sense for the boys to be arriving soon. You'd already seen Ellen and Jim a couple of nights on the back porch with your parents, but no 6'2 boys named Luke were to be seen.

time, mystical time. cutting me open then healing me fine. were there clues i didn't see?

You'd had two boyfriends in your life. One in your 8th-grade year and freshman year of high school, then one in your junior year of high school. You'd broken up with boyfriend #2 because you realized you compared him to Luke, every move he made, you compared to Luke. It made you feel terrible, but you were head over heels for another boy.

You and Luke had your senior sunrises on the same day during your senior years, and decided to skip them and drive to the lake to watch the sunrise together. Your moms were furious, but it was one of the best memories you had with him.

Your interest in each other was so painfully obvious that most of your and his family referred to you as his girl during the summer. 'Where's Luke's girl?', or 'We're just waiting for Moose's girl.' It was never when you two were in the same room, so your reactions were always priceless.

and isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Your family was back from their afternoon boating escapade and you could hear them all bustling in. The second they walked in you heard your brother shout for you.

"Moosey's girl! Come down here!"

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You blushed madly, getting up from your bed and walking down the stairs with an annoyed look on your face. When you got to the bottom of the stairs you could see your sister-in-law slapping your brother across the back of his head, telling him to leave you alone.

"What do you want?"

You immediately went from annoyed to overjoyed when your almost two year old niece ran over to you, shouting out your name. You picked her up, giving her a kiss on her tubby cheek, embracing her sandy and salt water ridden love.

"We're going out to dinner in like, an hour and a half? Honestly just whenever we can get that little monster bathed and dressed."

You nodded but immediately jumped to defend your little best friend.

"This thing? This baby is an angel, aren't you?"

The little girl nodded, a sassy smile on her face as she tried to say 'angel, dada.' in her slurred toddler speech.

"See?"

Your brother gave you both a look, before springing into action to grab his baby, tickling all the giggles and sqeals out of her.

You talked and played for a little longer before getting ready to go. You quickly showered and dried your hair, putting on a little linen white summer dress, and your old pair of Birkenstocks. You drove with your brother and sister-in-law on the way to dinner, sitting next to your niece in the backseat.

a string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar.

You guys were seated immediately at the restaurant, you sat between your sister-in-law and dad at the table, just close enough to talk to your favorite niece.

The restaurant was a popular spot for locals and tourists near the lake. It had a big bar in the middle and lots of tables surrounding, it was loud, but not obnoxious, and very homey. You'd probably been there over a hundred times in your life.

You were watching a random golf tournament on one of the many TVs in the bar when your brother called out your name. You looked up and the look on his face was excitement and shock.

"Look who happened to show up!"

something wrapped up all of my past mistakes, in barbed wire. chains around my demons. wool to brave the seasons.

He pointed behind him, and your eyes followed the trail to the entrance, where you saw none other than Luke Hughes standing with his family, waiting to be seated. Your jaw dropped, and a smile came over you. You saw Quinn hit Luke and then point directly at you, and when your eyes met Luke's, you could've fainted. He was in khakis and a white polo and looked so handsome.

You stood up, mumbling something to your family before practically running over to the entrance, throwing your arms around Luke.

one single thread of gold tied me to you.

"Holy shit."

Luke had his arms wrapped around you so tightly, he was so surprised to see you. He knew he would have seen you tomorrow if not tonight but he still just missed you and was shocked.

"We have gotta stop meeting like this."

You giggled when you pulled away from him, as reluctant as you were on the inside. You quickly hugged the rest of his family, not without Jack whispering, 'hey Moose's girl' to you.

You pleaded with the bar staff to push more tables together so you could sit with the Hughes, and it didn't take much convincing, seeing they'd known you since you were 6.

You sat next to Luke after the readjustment for the new tables, now sitting between him and your niece, who had all but thrown a fit about how she wanted to sit by you, not her dad, which made you laugh in his face.

At some point, you'd taken the baby from her high chair and brought her into your lap. You and Luke were both in your little world with her, she was so cute and loving. You guys didn't notice how practically the whole table stared at you with knowing eyes, they all knew, everyone except for you two.

The food came, and the baby was back in her seat. You just talked and talked and talked to Luke. You'd last seen him in December, and there was just so much to say. You'd both had tons of stuff happen to you, his NHL career, your career, everything was so exciting to tell him about.

Luke was so heavily infatuated with you, it was funny. His brothers watched as he folded for you so easily, admiring every syllable that left your mouth, nodding like a man possessed. They mumbled to each other, making fun of their baby brother's obliviousness.

cold was the steel of my axe to grind, for the boys who broke my heart. now i send their babies presents.

At some point, dinner got a little bit boring so you pulled out your phone, and what popped up was the baby registry you were buying something off of for your ex-boyfriend's pregnant wife. It was funny, how everything boiled down. Luke saw the infant clothing on your phone and gave you a questionable look.

"'S there something you're not telling me?"

You looked up at him, then back to your phone, your eyes going wide at the insinuation.

"Oh my God, Luke, no! This is for Darren's soon to be born baby, with his wife.

"Darren? Like your ex boyfriend Darren?"

You nodded, laughing and explaining the whole thing to him. You'd somehow become friends with his now wife in your freshman year of college, her junior year, and with the way the world worked for you of course she was married to your ex-boyfriend.

The rest of the night was perfect, and ended with your whole family, minus your sleeping niece, in the Hughes' backyard around the fire pit. That night you ended up right back where you were in the picture on your nightstand, right in Luke's lap in your favorite Adirondack chair.

You spent the next week with the Hughes boys, specifically your Hughes boy. You drove the boat out on the lake, wake surfed, Luke even convinced you to go golfing, not that it took him very long because you would say yes to anything he asked.

gold were the color of the leaves, when i showed you centennial park.

You sat by Luke at the end of the dock while you two watched the very cloudy sunset. There was supposed to be rain soon, but it didn't mean the sunset wasn't still pretty. Your thighs were pressed together with how close you sat to each other, giving you both warmth in your chest.

Neither of you said anything, but you both felt something when you let your head rest on his shoulder.

"This is so pretty, Lukey. I missed this with you."

It wasn't much, but it was a way to say that you loved him without saying the real words. I missed watching the sunset with you, I've always loved you.

hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven.

"I missed you."

You closed your eyes, you just wanted to be with him, didn't matter where. You could be watching a sunset on the lake or climbing a mountain, if you were with Luke you were happy.

"Think it's gonna rain soon?"

You looked up at him when you asked, your head never leaving his shoulder. He looked down for a second, before looking out at the sky.

time, wondrous time. gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.

"Probably, but let's just stay for a few more minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

You relaxed into him further. His arm went to your back, rubbing back and forth. It could probably be pouring down rain and you wouldn't even notice, not when you had Luke with you, like this, you were Moose's girl after all.

It started sprinkling, causing you to look back at Luke, waiting to see if he reacted. He didnt, so you just stayed. Rain never hurt anybody, you'd be the last person to ruin this moment complaining about rain.

This was so strange. It felt like you were stuck in time, the gentle rain made you feel encapsulated in the moment. You sat there, staring off at the sky, the sunset was not as clear now with the thick clouds rolling in, but the colors were still there. The rain kept on passing through, the drops gaining weight and speed.

Luke didn't mind the rain, but he didn't want you to feel like he was forcing you out here, so he shifted to stand, grabbing your hand.

"C'mon, you can't get sick during summer."

You sighed, letting him pull you to your feet. He didn't let go of your hand as he turned to pull you back to your house. You don't know what came over you, but the circumstances seemed perfect, you felt like you had to tell him. You pulled him to a stop, and he turned to look with a confused face.

"What's wrong?"

You looked from him to the ground, looking at your feet, the worn dock you'd run around on summer after summer, the lake you grew up swimming with him in. This place was so full of Luke, of you and Luke.

"I, I really like you Luke. Like literally since we were 12, and I, I just.."

You trailed off, looking anywhere but those eyes.

Luke was flabbergasted. That's the only word to describe how he felt. The girl he was in love with, just said she liked him since they were little. He just stared at her, not believing what he heard.

"Are you for real?"

You would've been embarrassed, had you not heard the pure hope in his voice. You nodded, feeling your face heat up. You covered your face with your hands self-consciously. If you could look at Luke's face, you would’ve seen how he was red all from his neck to his ears.

Luke gently grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face, and replacing them with his own. He tilted your head back so you looked at him, staring at you for just a second before pulling you in, kissing you, finally.

and it's cool, baby, with me.

Holy shit. You were freaking out, you were probably gonna be jumping up and down whenever he decided to stop kissing you. He did pull away, after a long while, when the rain started pouring. The colors of the sunset had been drowned out by the thunderclouds but you two still felt all sunny on the inside.

There was a rumble in the far distance, while you stared at him, and him back at you. You couldn't contain your excitement, you felt like running a marathon.

"Oh my God."

Your hands went back to your face, and you literally jumped. Luke laughed as you surged with happiness. He felt the same way, his smile bigger and brighter than ever before.

You grabbed his hand, tugging him back to your house quickly. You were finally under the cover of your back porch, out of harm's way. You grabbed two towels from the outside cupboards and wrapped yourselves up, you dried your feet off before running up the stairs, Luke hot on your tail.

You two got upstairs and sat on your bathroom counter while you dried off. You talked quietly, giggling an awful lot.

Once you got dry enough, you led him to your bedroom. You grabbed one of his sweatshirts you had before going to take a pair of your brother's shorts, throwing them to Luke when you got back to your room.

"Here, go change so you don't get sick."

You noticed he had more than the stuff you'd just thrown at him in his hands, he had the picture that previously sat on your night stand.

and isn't it just so pretty to think,

"I like this picture, you have to send it to me, baby."

Baby? You could've died. You nodded, mumbling out an butchered agreement, gesturing for him to leave and get dressed again.

While he was gone, you changed into some sweatpants and another one of Luke's sweatshirts, one you'd had for almost two years. When Luke came back into your room, he'd noticed your sweatshirt immediately. It was from his travel team when he was 16, and it made him so happy.

all along there was some invisible string,

You smiled at him sweetly as he walked back over to you, grabbing your face and kissing you for the second time in the last thirty minutes. You got the same butterflies you'd had living inside you since you were a little girl. This boy had been living in your head since you'd known him, and he was finally yours after you'd been his girl for so many years.

tying you to me?

You both pulled away, wrapping each other in a hug. Luke rocked you two back and forth, leaving kisses on your head.

"I love you, Moosey."

"I love you."

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh he-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[gojolvs]

I still want you.

Chapter 7

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message on the box. Also super sorry for not updating but im back!

previous chapter ⤏ next chapter

"Sumire!" Yelling with happiness you ran towards your kid. Seeing Sumire in your mothers arm sleeping soundly you couldn't help but feel delightful to see your son.

It felt like it was ages but finally seeing him in the airport running towards you, your heart felt full. You had been away from home for too long, and you felt a deep connection to Sumire. As you got closer, your heart was filled with joy and love for your son. You couldn't help but smile as you looked upon his peaceful face, and you knew that your family was finally reunited. You embraced your mother and Sumire, and you were grateful for the moment. You smiled and looked at your son, Sumire; his hair had grown so much since the last time you saw him. You noticed it was starting to turn white, just like his father's.

"Mommy!" Sumire hugged you tightly, his small chubby hands gripping your chest. Sumire missed you so much, and sometimes he would cry to your mother about how much he missed you and his father, Satoru. It was obvious that Sumire was a mama's boy.

Despite the sadness of the events that had occurred, your heart was warmed by the thought of your son. His presence in your life was a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there could still be moments of joy and peace. He was the one who had the power to make your pain disappear.

"How was grandma's house?" Kissing his forehead you caressed Sumire's white hair. Toji saw your mother struggling to get her luggage into the car and immediately offered to help.

He took one of the bags and loaded it into the trunk, then grabbed the other one and did the same. His kind gesture made your mother smile and she thanked him for his help. Satoru was too busy consoling Jiyuu the whole entire day that he had forgot that Sumire was coming today. You knew that having sex with Satoru was a mistake but you were so caught up in the moment you forgot how much you despised him. You had always known that Satoru was a snake but you had allowed yourself to be charmed by his smooth words and seductive looks. You had thought that maybe this time would be different, but it wasn't. You should have trusted your instincts and stayed away from him. Sumire's own father didn't even come but Toji came.

"Good! Grandma helped me learn how to write" your little 5 year old said. You could tell Sumire was growing up by the minute. You couldn't bare seeing your baby boy grow up.

You smiled and ruffled his hair, feeling a mixture of pride and sadness. You were proud of him, but you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that he was growing up so quickly. You looked at your mother, thanking her silently for her help in teaching Sumire how to write. "I know how to spell my name now mama!" Hugging him tightly you felt proud. His face beamed with excitement as he proudly recited each letter of his name. You gave him a big hug and praised him for his accomplishment. Tears of joy filled your eyes as you realized your little one had just taken the first steps towards independence.

"That's good honey, go inside the car okay? I need to talk to your grandma for a bit." Putting him down Toji held the tiny 5 year old hand. Taking him to the car you were left alone with your mother.

You both stood there in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say. You glanced at her, noticing the wrinkles that had formed around her eyes. She smiled at you, her eyes twinkling with love and compassion, and opened her arms.

You stepped into the embrace, feeling the warmth of her love wash over you. Tears started streaming down your face as you both hugged tightly. "Mom... me and Satoru. We're getting a divorce." Hearing those words your moms eyes widened.

She looked at her daughter in disbelief, her eyes widening as the realization hit her. She had suspected something was wrong for some time, but had been hoping it wasn't true. She had never expected to hear those words from her daughter's lips. Her body seemed to tense up as she slowly processed the news. She stared into your eyes searching for an explanation, her face filled with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke. "What happened?" she asked in a soft voice, trembling slightly. Shaking your head you buried your face on your moms shoulder.

Placing a hand in the back of your head you cried. Not wanting to tell your mother Satoru had cheated because you knew your mother would lash out at him. You wanted to protect him, even though he had done wrong. You knew he was struggling and it was hard for him to stay away from the bad crowd. You wished there was something you could do to help him, but you knew it was out of your control.

"We agreed it was best for us to go our separate ways." Not wanting to go into further details with your mother she knew it wasn't her place to pry anymore. Nodding she just held you.

You knew your mother would be so angry with Satoru and you didn't want that for him. Knowing how much respect he held for your mother for being a strong women you couldn't believe he could actually cheat on you. Seeing how devastated your mother was when your father cheated and he still decided to cheat on you. You wanted to protect Satoru from the wrath of your mother's anger and disappointment. You knew that she would feel betrayed by someone she trusted and admired, and you couldn't stand the thought of him facing the same consequences that your father had faced. You also couldn't believe that Satoru, with all of the respect he had for your mother's strength and resilience, could make such an irresponsible decision.

"Here let's go to the car, we can talk more when we get to the hotel okay?" Letting out a sigh your mother wiped your tears, seeing your doleful expression she knew there was more to the divorce.

Getting inside the car you could see Toji's frustrated face. Seeing Sumire argue with Megumi because he accidentally called you mommy. "No she's my mommy." Furrowing his eyebrow the small 5 year old feud with the toddler. Toji rolled his eyes propping his son to his lap. Scolding him for calling you mommy in front of Sumire even though Megumi wasn't your child.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his temples as he tried to reason with Megumi and Sumire. He glanced over at you, his expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, I know it's not your responsibility to have to deal with this." He said, shaking his head slightly before turning his attention back to the two children.

Sumire pouted his lips crossing his arms, "I don't care, she's my mommy!" Toji sighed heavily, trying to explain to Sumire that Megumi had made an honest mistake.

"Megumi didn't mean to call her mommy. He was just confused, so don't be mad at him, okay?" Toji said, giving Megumi a gentle hug.

Sumire reluctantly nodded his head, still looking a bit disappointed. You knew Sumire would probably not get along with Megumi because his school would always call you and tell you that your baby boy had picked a fight. Yelling at the school principal you remembered you called him and idiot for thinking your 5 year old angel would ever do that. Maybe now you actually seen his true side.

You had always been protective of Sumire, but you knew he was a handful. He had always been a spirited kid, and you knew that he was capable of mischievous behavior. Still, you had always been proud of him for being so independent and determined. Now, you were starting to see that those same qualities could also lead him into trouble. You could clearly see he got most of Satoru's personality. But he still had your nice mannered nature.

The whole ride home was 2 hours, you driving home you kept on looking at rear-view mirror. Seeing megumi and Sumire fast asleep on both of Toji's shoulders. He had his arms crossed and his head was thrown back. You could see his long lashes and the way his eye lids would twitch when the kids would move. You had to fight the urge to pull over and take a photo of the three of them, the moment was so peaceful and serene. But you decided not to disturb them, and kept on driving, admiring the moment in your head. The sun was setting and the orange light was reflecting off of Toji's hair, making him look like a prince from a fairytale. You let out a breath, and kept driving, content with the moment you just shared.

Your mother also fast asleep you were alone with your thoughts. Everyone was asleep in the car but you. You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you as you realized that you had to face him soon. You had no idea what to expect, and it scared you. You wished you had someone to talk to, to help you process your feelings and figure out what to do. But here you were, alone in the car, with no one to turn to. You sighed and took a deep breath, trying to push away the fear and uncertainty. There was only three days left before the wedding of your sister. She was so busy with getting things ready she rarely visited the hotel you were staying, but you didn't mind. You remembered how excited you were when you were planning your wedding with Satoru. You thought back to those days fondly, recalling how you both had laughed and cried together as you finalized the details and the guest list. You wished your sister all the best for her special day, although it was tinged with a bit of sadness as you realized that you wouldn't be able to experience the same joy that you had with Satoru.

Realizing that Satoru no longer cared about you, you felt stupid for still reminiscing the times you were together. It was finally time to move on and you knew it too. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the tears to stream down your face. You felt a bittersweet sadness as you accepted the truth of the situation. You slowly opened your eyes and wiped away the tears, feeling a newfound strength and resolve to move on with your life.

Stopping the car at the red light you quickly grabbed your phone. Seeing all the pictures you had with Satoru you chose to delete them all. Why would you have pictures of your cheating husband. He probably deleted all of the pictures he had of you. You felt a sense of relief knowing that he would no longer have any reminders of you. You had to move on and start a new life. Taking a deep breath, you slowly exhaled and deleted the last picture. You knew that the only way to move forward was to let go of the past.

Finally what felt like hours you made it to the hotel. Parking the car, you woke up your mom. Seeing her tired face you assumed she felt fatigue due to the airplane. Getting out the car you slammed the door, rushing towards Toji to help him with the kids. You gave your mom a hug and thanked her for coming. You were both relieved to be at the hotel, where you could finally rest after the tiring journey. You knew the trip would be worth it, and you were excited to explore the city with your family. Outside the hotel Satoru was waiting alone. He had his back on the wall, putting his hands in his pocket he walked towards you and your mother.

"Hello mom, how was the trip?" Grabbing Sumire out of the car Gojo carried him towards the hotel room. Your son tiredly groaned in discomfort, wrapping his tiny arms around Satoru.

"It was great, thank you. We had a lot of fun and saw some beautiful sights.”

How are you and Sumire doing?" Gojo smiled at his son as he shifted him in his arms, trying to make him more comfortable.

"Sumire is a bit tired from the trip, but he's doing well."

You stayed back to help Toji, getting Megumi out of the car the little toddler shifted his body. Making himself more comfortable you waited for Toji to get the luggage out the car. Already seeing your husband walking towards the hotel with your mom.

"He's fast asleep, guess you're going to have to stay at my room again, huh?" You took a deep breath, feeling the cool breeze of the night, before turning back to Megumi. Rubbing his back you grabbed one of the blankets you brought for Sumire originally. Seeing the small kid shake in cold you placed it on top of him.

Toji smiled softly at the sight. "You're so good with him." He said, his voice laced with admiration. "It's like he trusts you more than he trusts me."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "It's not like that." You said, brushing a strand of hair away from Megumi's face. "He's just comfortable with me."

"Does your mom know about the cheating?" Shaking your head you said no. Telling Toji how you were going to tell your mom after the whole wedding was done not wanting to ruin it for you sister.

"It's not worth ruining my sister's big day with this," you said with a sigh. "I'll tell her after the wedding is over. I know she's going to be disappointed, but she'll understand."

Waiting for the elevator Megumi kept on adjusting himself. Pulling the toddler closer you silently shushed him. "Shh... go to sleep honey." Moving side to side you gently smiled seeing him burying his face on the crook of your neck.

The elevator door opened and you stepped in. You pressed the button to your floor and the elevator started to move. As you felt the gentle lull of the elevator, the toddler dozed off in your arms. You held him close, thankful for the peaceful moment. "Where's Sumire going to sleep?"

Remembering that you usually shared a bed with megumi and Toji slept on the couch you didn't want to tell Toji to leave to his room for some reason. "He can go to bed with me but you can also sleep with me, besides the bed is big enough for us since the kids are small."Stepping out of the elevator you were met with Satoru's gaze.

"It's just for tonight." You said, feeling a bit embarrassed. Toji nodded in understanding before continuing the conversation.

"I think it's a good idea." He said, and you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that he didn't seem to judge you for it.

"Where's my mother?" Grabbing the keys you put it in the keyhole. Rubbing his neck Satoru avoided your gaze. All the memories of last nights fling coming back.

"She's in her room, said she was going to sleep." Opening the door you nodded and let out a deep sigh, relieved that she was okay. You thanked Satoru for his help and walked inside the room. You could feel his eyes following you as you walked away, but you didn't turn back. Toji behind you, closing the door you could see Satoru's blue eyes stare back at yours. With a sigh you placed the toddler in your arms down on the bed. Toji doing the same with Sumire he excused himself to go to the restroom to brush his teeth. You watched him with a smile as he stumbled out of the room and closed the door behind him. You took a moment to take in the peacefulness of the room. The two children were now cuddled up in the bed with their blankets. You smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of accomplishment in taking care of the two of them. You walked over to the bed and kissed each of their foreheads before changing your clothes. Taking your shirt off you decided to wear one of your loose shirts you borrowed from Toji, wearing sweatpants to accompany the outfit.

Exiting the restroom Toji took off his shirt. You didn't mind seeing Toji shirtless since it wasn't your first time. The first time he stayed at your hotel room he took off his shirt, asking if you were okay with it. Your reaction was priceless, feeling your face hot you remembered how you instantly ran to the restroom to wash your face from all the thoughts lingering in your mind. You had to admit his body was perfect, his toned abs and biceps were enough to make your heart skip a beat. His perfect V-line and broad shoulders were something you couldn't help but admire.

Toji was a sight to behold, and you were lucky to have him as a friend. Stretching your hands you walked towards the bathroom, making sure to wash your face and brush your teeth before going to sleep. Seeing your face you noticed that your skin was getting the natural glow you had lost after the few nights of crying. Washing your face you felt your skin against the cold water.

As the water ran down your face, you felt a sense of relief. The feeling of relief was so strong that you could almost feel the heavy weight of the day lifting off your shoulders. Taking a deep breath you felt a wave of calm wash over you. You knew that it was time to get some much-needed rest. You gently patted your face dry with a soft towel and looked into the mirror. Finishing brushing your teeth you exited the bathroom. Walking towards the bed you could already see Toji laying down. The kids fast asleep next to him. You crept slowly towards the bed, careful not to wake anyone. As you looked at the peaceful scene before you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and contentment fill your heart. You lay down beside Toji and snuggled close. You drifted off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that you were surrounded by the ones you loved the most.

Waking up you silently got up, seeing both kids snuggled up with Toji you couldn't help but smile. You quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face. You then crept back into the bedroom and watched the peaceful scene before you. It was a moment of pure bliss and happiness and you cherished it, before slipping out of the bedroom and starting your day. Checking to see if you had received any messages you were surprised to see that your sister had texted you.

Sis; Goodmorning! Im having a small party at my house, i have something to announce so please come quick.

Liking her message you walked towards Toji, seeing his sleeping figure you couldn't help but feel a tiny bit bad that you were going to wake him up. You slowly shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up gently. He stirred in his sleep, groaning he sat up.

His eyes opened, and he squinted at you in confusion. "What's up?" he asked, still half asleep. When he saw it was you, he smiled, his eyes crinkling with warmth. You couldn't help but feel relieved, knowing he was in a good mood.

You showed him the text message, and he just nodded. "My sister needs us, let's give the kids a bath and then go."

Grabbing sleeping megumi he woke him up, you doing the same you grabbed Sumire and placed him on your side. Ruffling his hair he rubbed his eyes, still half asleep he placed his head on your chest. Sumire groaned and opened his eyes, blinking a few times he tried to adjust to the sudden light. He glanced at you and smiled, then snuggled closer and yawned. You smiled down at him and whispered "Good morning, Sumire".

Both of you walking towards the restroom you placed Sumire down, making sure the bathtub was being filled with warm water you were relieved to feel the water warm enough. Undressing Sumire you threw his clothes to the side before putting him onto the bathtub. You slowly put Sumire inside the bathtub and started washing him gently with a sponge, making sure to clean every inch of his body. You added a small amount of shampoo to his hair and began to massage it softly. As you were doing this, you could hear Sumire humming softly, showing how comfortable he was with the situation. Megumi in the other hand was crying so much. Toji didn't know what to do because he rarely gave Megumi a bath he would always shower with him instead.

Giggling at the current scene you came to the rescue, switching positions with Toji you let him scrub Sumire's hair while you bathed Megumi. The little body immediately stopped crying when you came to his aid.

"Kids going to be the death of me." Groaning he let out a sigh, placing more shampoo on Sumire's hair. He had a look of relief on his face as he handed you the shampoo for Megumi.

You smiled and thanked him before kneeling to Megumi's level, and beginning to lather his hair. He still had a look of terror on his face, but his cries had softened into quiet sobs. You worked quickly and quietly, trying to get his hair washed and rinsed before he started wailing again.

You smiled reassuringly as you finished, and he finally seemed to relax. "There we go," you said softly. "All done."

Switching again, Sumire was just playing with water. Sumire had been playing with the water in the bathtub happily, splashing it around and enjoying himself. He was getting a bit too wild, however, and some of the suds from the shampoo got into his eyes, making them sting. You told him to close his eyes and carefully rinsed off the shampoo before it caused any further discomfort. After he was all clean, you grabbed a towel and wrapped him up. Carefully, you lifted Sumire up and took him to the bedroom. You gently dried him off with the towel before carefully changing him into a fresh set of dry clothes. Once he was dressed, you made sure he was comfortable.

Toji doing the same you both got ready quickly before grabbing your bags and heading out the door towards your sister's beach house.

Already entering the house you walked to the back of the house. Seeing everyone gathered around the small patio that led to the beach. Everyone was wearing shorts and dresses. You had nothing but a small sun dress you decided to wear under your swimsuit if you decided to go in the water later. You smiled to yourself in contentment as you took in the scene. The sun was shining brightly, the sand was glistening, and the waves were crashing against the shore. You took a deep breath of the salty air and felt the warm sun on your skin. It was a perfect day for a beach party.

"You made it!" Giving you a hug your sister smiled at you, she had a beautiful white sundress on that made her look like an absolute goddess compared to you. You could say she got the good genes of the family.

"I wouldn't dare to miss this." Hugging her back you separated yourself before calling Sumire over to introduce himself to his aunt.

Sumire timidly stepped forward, bowing his head in respect. You could see the excitement in his eyes as he smiled shyly at his aunt. "It's nice to meet you," he said.

His aunt smiled warmly and said "It's nice to meet you too, Sumire. I'm so glad you could come today. You probably don't remember me because I met you when you were super tiny!" She said warmly.

"The guests should be arriving soon," your sister said as she looked at the clock. "Can you help me unpack?" You nodded and followed her into the guest bedroom, picking up a suitcase from the floor. Together, you quickly unpacked and neatly arranged the clothes and toiletries in the dresser and closet. Soon, everything was in its place, ready for the arrival of your family's guests.

Closing the door, she walked to the closet and pulled out a small box. "I want you to be the first person to see this," she said, handing you the box with a smile. Confused, you slowly opened it and found baby clothes and a t-shirt that read "World's Best Aunt." Instantly, you realized that she was announcing her pregnancy and you were going to be an aunt. Overwhelmed with joy, you hugged her tightly as tears of happiness streamed down your face. You couldn't wait to meet your new niece or nephew and spoil them with love and affection.

"Oh my god. How far along are you??" You exclaimed, your eyes widening in surprise as you took in your sister's growing belly. You couldn't help but feel overjoyed for her - it had always been her dream to have a child and now it was finally coming true.

"Im just a few weeks along. Im so happy because we can finally have children around the same age!" Suddenly, your excitement turned into confusion and amusement as you realized that Sumire was still a toddler and she was talking about having children around the same age.

"This means we can go shopping together for baby clothes! Aren't you happy?" she asked, looking at you with a big smile. "Remember when we used to dream about this when we were kids?" she continued, giggling with excitement.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Your sisterlooked at you with a puzzled expression, clearly not understanding why you found her statement funny. "What are you talking about Marie?”

"I'm talking about the baby, silly!" Marie exclaimed, rolling her eyes playfully. She leaned in closer to you and placed her hands on your growing belly. "I can't believe you're going to be a mom soon!" she said with a smile.

“No. You’re just making things up.” you could feel anger building up.

"Aren't you pregnant?" I overheard Gojo and Suguru talking about you being pregnant." Stunned by what she was saying, you took a step back, unsure of how to respond.

“What exactly did you hear marie.” Your eyebrows were furrowed.

“Geez, why are you so mad? all i heard was satoru saying that someone was pregnant and Suguru looked shocked so i assumed it was you.” It couldn’t be right? Theres no way he had gotten Jiyuu pregnant. Shaking your head you put down the box on the bed. “I have to go.”

"Wait!" throwing everything onto the bed, you could hear your sister running after you. Running down the stairs, you could just hear the sound of your heels hitting the hard wood. Everyone was outside talking, and you could feel the anger rushing through your body as you ran towards the doors. Walking outside, you spotted Satoru talking to Suguru and Shoko, his hands in his pockets and a dumb smile on his face. Seeing that only made you even more angry.

You were fuming with anger towards Satoru for betraying your trust. "How dare you!" you shouted, unable to control your emotions. Your sister's voice calling your name snapped you back to reality as you pushed past everyone to stand next to Satoru. "Y/N?" he asked, confused by your sudden outburst and heavy breathing. But before he could finish, you slapped him across the face, causing everyone around to gasp in shock.

"How could you, Satoru?" His face was stunned as he looked at you in disbelief. You had just slapped him in front of everyone. "What did I do?" Confused, he quickly grabbed your hand before you could slap him again.

letting out a deep breath you could feel the tears building up. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and looked at the scene. “First i was fine with you leaving me for another women but getting her pregnant?!” You could feel the tension in the air as everyone held their breath, waiting for your next words. Your sister's eyes widened in disbelief, her gaze shifting between you and Jiyuu, who stood next to Nanami, casually eating a cupcake. It was clear that the news of Gojo getting another woman pregnant had caught everyone off guard. Letting out a deep breath, you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over from the hurt and betrayal you were feeling.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Gojo looked at everyone and started apologizing.

"Sorry everyone, she's just tired," he said, placing his hand on your shoulder. Clenching your teeth, you moved away. "No, Satoru. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of pretending like we're still together.”

"What's going on?" suddenly your sister's fiancé appeared. "What's going on is that Satoru cheated on me with Jiyuu and she's pregnant," you sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. As Satoru began to angrily grab your hand, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. His eyes were filled with anger, and you knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“what? is this true?” asking Satoru just sighed.

“Yes, me and Jiyuu are together and we are expecting.” The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. After all this time, Satoru had moved on and was now with Jiyuu. They were expecting a child together, and you knew that meant he was no longer the father of my child. You would have to share that bond with another woman, and it was a harsh reminder that you were truly alone in this world.

Wiping away your tears you knew it was the end. The end of your marriage. “Im leaving.” walking past your sister you could see the hurt filled in her eyes. “Im sorry Marie i didn’t mean to ruin your party, as for everyone else please pretend this never happened and make this a good day for her.” Being the bigger person you walked back into the house. Grabbing your purse and keys you realized that Toji took you here. Not wanting to see his face after everything you just grabbed sumires hand and walked out. Hopefully there was a bus station you could go to.

“Mommy?” Lifting Sumrie you held him in your arms. Kissing his head before walking to a random direction. You continued to walk aimlessly, deep in thought. The weight of your child in your arms brought you a sense of comfort, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that seemed to be following you. As you walked, you couldn't help but think, "Could this day possibly get any worse?"

You made your way to the bus stop and sat down on the bench, letting out a deep sigh of relief. The events of the day had drained you both physically and emotionally, and all you wanted was to escape into a peaceful slumber. As you waited for the bus, you closed your eyes and let the exhaustion wash over you, finally finding a moment of calm amidst the chaos. Should you have really blurted everything out and potentially caused harm to those you care about? You couldn't help but feel guilty as you stared at your phone. The missed calls from your sister, Satoru, and Toji were a reminder of the consequences of your actions.

You couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if you had kept your thoughts to yourself.

Taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @creolequeen11210 @yevene @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode @lilith412426 @meojjjsworld @pandoraium @dcvilxswish @cloudsinthecosmos @alurafairy

[zweiginator]

ooh maybe law student patrick has to go to some fancy event his dad is sponsoring or something & invites reader so he’s not stuck by himself while having to schmooze all night. plus it wasn’t too bad of a deal on your own end since you’d be able to meet a bunch of prominent business people who could help your own budding career.

but then patrick’s dad spots the two of you & immediately starts belittling the fuckkk out of him. telling you he’s never brought a girl to one of these things to meet his family. makes a comment about how the girls he usually hung around were ditzy and vain, that he’s shocked patrick was playing nice with someone so much smarter and more hardworking than him, especially a girl. an ambitious, pretty little thing like you would be great for his firm a few years down the line.

idk how reader would react, but pat would definitely storm out and drag you out with him. his dad might think you’re eloquent and impressive, but patrick can change that in a matter of minutes when he gets you bent over and reminds you why he’d invited you there in the first place.

((i did not mean to yap this much lmao im so sorry))

oh 100% because i think patrick's relationship with his father (and family in general) is so complicated. his father's love for him yo-yos all the time. when he got into law school his father was ecstatic. when his first semester grades came back he was ashamed to be associated with his son. he would never be a partner with B minuses and Cs. that just wouldn't do.

and i think he resents you for a million reasons. one, you are self-made. you didn't need your father's wealth and influence and connections to get you into yale. you did it all by himself and patrick is threatened by that, because he knows he wouldn't have even thought about law school without his father's pushing. so in that sense, he feels like a fraud and a sellout, just existing to appease his family legacy and not actually doing what he wants to. and often times, he wonders how it would have felt to stand up to his father and tell him he wanted to play tennis seriously. professionally. whenever he had brought it up in the past, his father would roll his eyes. make jokes. that wasn't a job, he said. that wouldn't find him a good wife or give him grandchildren. that certainly wouldn't suffice for the zweig name. his son being a so-so tennis player.

he also resents you with how you came into school with a clean slate. nobody knew who you were, who your family was. no reputation preceded you. you have so much resilience but patrick constantly feels like he is battling himself and his family, the expectations of him that are only mounting.

so when patrick's father invites him to a firm gathering, he tells patrick to be charming and respectable. don't come alone and bring someone who is also charming, respectable. his father knows that patrick sleeps around, that he can't keep a girlfriend to save his life. so he's adamant about that last part.

patrick brings you. it only makes sense. and everyone adores you. you're dressed in an impeccable gown with beautiful earrings you saved up for. your handshake is firm and your smile is infectious. you're a natural. you're charismatic. patrick has never seen his father so proud of something his son has done. but that something is you, not his own accomplishments.

patrick feigns a smile all night. tries to butt into conversations, but everyone is so focused on you, what you have to say, your story and upbringing. your perfect grades.

"if only patrick had this much natural motivation!" his father nudges you. patrick's jaw ticks. just another fucking dig at him.

and then the kicker. your father gives you his phone number, the contact information for his firm.

"my business card." he hands it to you. "i'm not sure if you've secured a summer position yet, but we have a great retention rate with interns becoming attorneys at the firm and eventually partners. i think you'd be a perfect fit."

you shake his hand firmly and thank him. this opportunity is huge. and regardless of what you've heard about the zweig family--patrick's father really is smart and hardworking and charismatic. you see where patrick gets it from.

but patrick is just staring ahead of him, his lips pursed. he had been attempting to bring up the possibility of being a summer intern for his father, which he had vehemently refused speaking about for months. and now you come along with vanilla perfume and cherry red lipstick and you have the position secured.

and patrick knows you're smart and capable and deserving. but he really fucking hates you right now. he wants to make you feel dumb. and maybe he should feel bad when he says he feels sick and asks you to come to the bathroom with him.

he pulls your dress up around your waist and fucks you like a whore. hand splayed on your lower back and one yanking your hair. you can't think coherently, you can't say a word. you just hang on and listen to the lewd slaps of skin against skin. of patrick's taunts. this isn't what a respectable girl does. a respectable career woman doesn't fuck her boss's son in the bathroom like a fucking slut.

maybe it makes him feel better to know he can hold this above your head.

[mins-fins]

AUDERE EST FACERE. — [Z.CL]

❝to dare is to do..❞

SYNOPSIS: where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.

PAIRING: zhong chenle x male!reader

GENRE: royalty au, not really modern but not really medieval time period either, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, kinda humorous, prince!chenle x medic!reader, kinda forbidden relationship, ambiguous/open ending

WARNINGS: might not be accurate to medieval times, death, blood & gore, forced marriage, mentions of disease, unhealthy ways of grieving, a lot of mentions of violence

WORD COUNT: 22.7k

NOTES: woah woah woah!!! this whole fic broke a whole bunch of isa records…….. hiiii jj 😊 hi chenle stans 😊 hello nct male reader community 😊😊😊 i hope im serving the isanator nation well (consists of 2 ppl) ANYWAY this is one of the works i am genuinely most proud of because for one, it's my longest ever work, and for two, i'm just so happy with how it turned out!! this was originally meant to be like 16k words but then i got carried away and now this is here 🙁 i truly apologize for how long this is but PLEASEEE dont get bored i swear it gets good 😞😞 and i did write ambiguous ending but it does seem pretty straightforward so um… im sorry for that, this fic would've been MUCH MUCH LONGER than 22k words but i already beat my former wc record so i just cut a bunch of other unnecessary scenes 😶 alright thats enough of my yapping!! ily jj my bsf ever ty for listening to me ramble abt this endlessly in ur inbox 😊😊💗

CHENLE REMEMBERS IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. his little feet sneakily took him away from the huge meeting room full of intimidating adults talking about gibberish, and slowly, they lead him to a much more enjoyable place. at the time, seven year old chenle couldn't figure out why his parents needed such a big meeting room, or why all of these important people came to the castle every few months, to him, those strangers were nothing but tryhards, greedy men and women who were never pleased no matter how much they were offered.

seven year old chenle could never truly figure out why his parents insisted on having him sit around with these other important adults, listening to them talk about the economy, kingdom relations, marriage, all this stuff that isn't interesting to seven year old boys.

the young prince found his feet leading him to a place of familiar comfort, the palace's own rose garden. he could never truly explain why the air surrounding the abundance of roses ever became of comfort to him, because roses are anything but comfortable to hold, but whenever he felt like father and mothers fights were getting too aggressive, he could just come here and everything would be okay.

the gardener, a woman by the name of mrs. qian, was always sweet to chenle, much sweeter than his father usually was. her son, qian kun, is basically chenle's older brother, the older boy often comes around whenever his mothers in work, and he tells chenle stories of what goes on at the village schools, the newest gossip and adventures he's gone on with his friends.

chenle often finds himself interested in the life of a commoner, they're all just so intriguing.. he can't believe the stories most of the time, but he is homeschooled, and has been holed up in this castle for as long as he can remember, so how he can prove or debunk any of these things? he just thinks that non-royals are some of the most entertaining people he knows, they're all so hilarious.

as soon as the seven year old chenle stepped into the rose garden, a feeling of relief seeps into his body. he takes in a deep breath, and finally allowed for his shoulders to slump, much too tired of having to keep his back straight all this time.

he lets himself relax into the atmosphere, finally away from the suffocated room full of adults seemingly speaking a language he could not understand. if that's what kings and queens have to do, chenle thinks he'd rather not take the throne.

the seven year old prince allowed for his eyes to scan the garden, it's empty. well that makes sense, mrs. qian isn't in today and neither is her son, they went on a holiday. he sighs to himself, he misses kun's company, but alas, no one is around.

chenle makes his way around to a specific rose bush, it has the most roses out of the bunch. seven year old chenle used to think the rose bushes were magic, the roses always grew so quickly, one day there'd be none and the next there'd be hundreds, it was purely shocking to the young prince.

chenle, as always, began tracing the shape of the roses with his finger. he finds them pretty, as he does all flowers. it might sound like he's being basic, but roses are probably his favorite of the bunch. they're just so beautiful, and most importantly— they're sharp.

but the seven year old chenle is startled out of his rose admiring due to a shout.

"hey! don't touch those!"

the young prince furrowed his eyebrows at the words, what's wrong with touching the roses? it's not like there are garden rules or anything. when chenle turned to the source of the shout, that's when he sees the person.

you, it was you. adorable seven year old you who ran up to him as quickly as you could, you stopped as soon as you made it his way, panting like you had just run a marathon. "don't touch the roses".

the young chenle blinked, puzzled. "why can't i touch them? i'm the prince you can't tell me what to do—"

"they're sharp! you're gonna hurt yourself see?" you pointed at chenle's hand, and he looked down, eyes widening as he came across the sight. his finger was bleeding, oh that's bad. "roses have thorns, you have to be careful".

chenle had no idea who you were then, but all he knew was that you were worried. your eyes were watering, as if you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you took a deep breath as you slowly began freaking out over the small cut on the prince's index finger. "oh uh— i didn't even notice".

"it's okay really, god i have a bandaid don't i? hold on.." you mumbled, worried as ever as you began rummaging through your pockets, trying to find a bandaid to patch up the prince with.

"it's fine it's just a small cut i.." chenle paused in between his words, clearing his throat. "who are you?"

right, you were still a stranger, chenle had no idea who you were then, for all he could know, you had broken into the palace or something. you finally stopped looking through your pocket, your face went a bright red as you faced the prince again. "um my name is y/n, i'm the—"

"y/n honey? where did you run off to?"

now chenle recognized that voice, that was the voice of the palace's sweet medic. mrs. l/n had a voice that was like honey, she was easily one of chenle's favorite staff members, not only because she would always be there to wipe his tears when he scraped his knee, but she always offered him delicious candy. "oh! there you are!"

"good afternoon mrs. l/n" chenle politely greeted, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of your mother, though that look of worry was still prominent in your eyes.

"chenle, how are you doing?" she reached over to ruffle the young prince's hair, which he accepted happily, giggling at the gesture. "i'm doing good, ma'am".

"he has a cut on his finger" you muttered to her, and a small 'ah' leaves her lips as she finally realized what was going on. "i wanted to help him but i didn't have any bandaids" you seemed disappointed in yourself, as your gaze immediately lowered to the floor.

"oh sweetie, it's okay" your mother shook your shoulder, reassuring you. "just remember to call me before running off".

"i'll remember, sorry".

the young prince blinked at the sight before him, though he continued to smile at the sight of your mother. "sorry for yelling at you, your highness" you muttered in your low voice, and all chenle did was shake his head, waving you off.

"it's alright you were just trying to help" chenle replied, he finds seven year old you to be the epitome of adorable, just the cutest person in the world.

"let's get you that bandaid yeah?"

chenle nodded, you nodded, and the two of you proceeded to follow your mother out of the garden and to her office.

when chenle thinks back to this moment, the moment he first met you, he likes to compare it to an explosive, just waiting to be lit, just waiting to be set off and destroy everything. when he thinks back to the first moment he met you, chenle can't help but reminisce about it.

after your mother helped him with his cut, the two of you.. talked. you talked about things all seven year old boys talk about, and it was one of the highlights of chenle's day, though he kept trying to make you drop the formalities and call him by his first name, you vehemently disagreed.

the two of you became friends (and just chenle calling the two of you "friends" was enough to almost send seven year old you into cardiac arrest), a royal and a commoner, but chenle never saw it that way, chenle has never seen it that way. a friend is a friend, regardless of status or their economic situation. yes chenle is at a great advantage, being the prince of the kingdom you lived in, but he never held it over you, he isn't like that.

you were— are a special friend to chenle. sometimes, it feels like the two of you have known each other your whole lives. you mean much more to him than he actually lets slip, but he'll never let that be known, even under kun's watchful eye and jisung's insistence on knowing if you two really are just "friends".

chenle spends a lot of time thinking about the day you two first met, it's like a looping episode of a show in his head.

"chenle? did you even hear me?"

no response.

a grunt of frustration is sounded in the room, but the prince doesn't react, much too busy zoned out as a specific memory replays in his head for the seventh time that hour.

"chenle! pay attention!"

the slam of a hand against the table, paired with the loud shout is enough to snap the now twenty one year old crown prince out of his little dazed memory recalling session. chenle startles, but he quickly lets his face relax, sighing as he rejoins the conversation he'd previously zoned out on. "what?"

chenle's mother pinches the bridge of her nose, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "marriage, chenle, that's what were talking about".

oh god, chenle resists the urge to groan. he isn't exactly on board with this whole marriage thing, but then again, he has no other choice, his father is gone and he's next in line for the throne, this is how it goes for each royal family, he should just suck it up and deal with it head on. "yeah yeah, sorry, i didn't sleep much last night".

it's not exactly a lie, these days usually have chenle plagued with some sort of sleeplessness, but that isn't the main reason he was zoned out, obviously. "alright.. anyway, i talked with the zhu's, we agreed that you and their daughter, yinuo, are to marry".

chenle recognizes the family name, unfortunately, he doesn't exactly recognize their daughter. "you're marrying me off to a stranger? what about the girls i actually know, suyin? jia? mingxia? they're actually my friends, i'd be much more comfortable with them than a princess i've never met".

"marriage doesn't work like that, chenle" the words are enough to make chenle grit his teeth, he bites his tongue, though. "all you have to do is merely get along with her enough that it looks like you're in love at the wedding, rule the kingdom, and have children".

chenle raises an eyebrow, rocking back and forth in his chair. "that sounds a tad bit dystopian, mother".

the older woman does nothing but narrow her eyes at chenle, a look he's become used to receiving from her at this point. "it's just how everything goes, le, i don't know what to tell you".

chenle bites his inner cheek, looking everywhere else in the room. he always knew marriage was a custom, if not out of true love, it would be out of convenience. chenle had been given so much time to go find a woman to fall in love with, but he didn't find it that easy, maybe he just has too many requirements when it comes to love. he doesn't exactly support the whole thing about creating new heirs, but he was born into this family for this reason, what is the point of being a king if not sacrificing his freedom for the happiness of others?

chenle has always known that he wouldn't exactly enjoy this part of his life, and his father just had to go early, he is very much upset, but he doesn't disclose those feelings to anyone. after his long minutes of silence, chenle stands up from the table, again facing his mother. "yes yes i get it, mother" he mutters, making his way over to his mother and pressing a kiss to her cheek, realizing that she was trembling in anxiousness. "don't worry about me, i'll be fine".

but would he really? chenle can't exactly determine that.

"HOW DID YOUR LITTLE MARRIAGE CONVERSATION GO?" QIAN KUN cannot contain his interest, immediately finding chenle and inquiring about his upcoming marriage. chenle can always go to kun to talk about things troubling his mind, the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. chenle is glad he has kun, even with how much he does tease him, he's truly grateful for the older. "whose the lucky lady?" the words are enough to get a groan out of chenle, who shoved his nose into his book.

"zhu yinuo".

kun's eyes widen, clearly he recognizes that name. "of azerene?"

chenle clicks his tongue, not sparing the older a glance. "yes, that one".

the older male hums, merely glancing at the crown prince. "why do you sound so uninterested? marriage should be a fun topic for you".

his teasing tone doesn't breeze past chenle, but the younger doesn't comment on it, focusing on the topic of the novel in his hands. "not when it's with a women i don't know, i'm just being placed into a union with a stranger, a stranger who i'm then going to have make babies with so that the treasurable zhong family lives on for generations and generations".

"well isn't that the whole point of royal families, though?" kun asks absentmindedly, it seems he meant to say that in his head, seeing as how he slaps a hand over his mouth immediately after the question escapes his lips, but chenle doesn't mind, getting offended over such a question is the last of his worries. "..sorry".

"it's alright" chenle responds, his voice a low echo in the expanse of a room. "it's how most things go anyway, i should know better than to question it".

"i just don't think it's fair" chenle only gives a mere hum, though he notices kun's tone of concern. "yeah you're supposed to create heirs at the end of the day, but not even with someone you love?"

"you ask too many questions".

kun scoffs, turning to chenle with a look of betrayal in his eyes. "i'm just saying what your thinking, chenle, i worry about you".

chenle, who sighs silently, finally closes his book and gives the older an indistinguishable look. "you don't have to worry about me, i'll be fine, i always am".

a lie, one as clear as day too. chenle doesn't exactly know how to explain what he feels, sometimes it feels like everything is bubbling up slowly, closing in on him and suffocating him to death. he assumes it's normal to feel like this, especially with people who don't talk about how they feel, but chenle doesn't know how to bring it up to people without making everything weird.

it's all just complicated.

chenle finally stands up, running a hand through his hair and folding the page of his book as to not lose his page. he makes his way over to kun, whose mindlessly folding his own clothes as he admires the butterfly tank before him.

the butterflies were an installment chenle begged for his father to get for him after he read a book on metamorphosis once, it was a gift for his twelfth birthday, though he wanted a room to be a whole conservatory for him, his father said that would be "unnecessary" (and as an adult, chenle is inclined to agree with that statement). he finds the winged beings to be beautiful, a kind of striking that only specific animals can replicate.

yes, chenle is a huge fan of butterflies, his love for them runs deep. he lightly taps the glass encasing the creatures with his nail, gaze laser focused on the flying insects and their bright colored wings.

"you say that all the time, but i can never truly tell if you are" kun finally responds after letting his answer wither in the silence of the room, his eyes wander over to chenle, who does nothing but admire the trapped butterflies before him.

the words get a small smile out of chenle, but he's not sure why, though they do make him smile. "i am fine, there's no need to look in further".

"you know me, i'm always going to look further".

chenle allows for himself to chuckle at the response. he's right about that.

he stares at the butterflies encased in the glass box, practically trapped against their own will. his mind wanders, the butterflies remind him of something very familiar.

but he pretends to have no idea what it is.

CHENLE OFTEN FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS THESE DAYS. after the first two hours of insomnia took over, the crown prince decided to entertain himself by reading that book he's left off at earlier that day, but by the time he looked at the clock again, two more hours had passed, and he had finished the book which he once thought would enthrall him until his body gave into it's exhaustion. he lets his arm fall, placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. he's still not tired, for some unknown reason. 

maybe another book will do the trick, chenle's mind tells him, and he agrees with that statement enough that he swings out of his bed and his feet grace the cold floor. it's cold, it's always cold at night, but chenle thinks it's always extra cold at night on purpose.

the crown prince tries his best to shake off the freezing temperature of the room, slipping on a fuzzy sweater and grabbing the lamp from his desk. if sleep isn't going to come him, he could at least spend some of the night in the library, it'll be a good way to pass time.

the library is a nice place of comfort, chenle has always been able to relax his mind the most when he's reading. reading is one of the easiest hobbies to have, because you're not tiring yourself out, but your also doing something fun (but chenle has learned that some people don't really describe reading as their idea of 'fun').

when chenle was younger, reading was really all he did. he was homeschooled, so the most lessons he got were three a day, mother and father never cared about what he had to tell them, dismissing his words as just idiotic child talk. no one ever gave him the time of day if they weren't forced to, so chenle quickly found comfort in the many books which littered the library.

by the time chenle was fourteen, he had already read most of the books in the library, and that includes the unnecessarily huge dictionary. he could almost always be found in the library if not in his room or the rose garden, immersing himself in another world of fiction or nonfiction.

the library is basically his second home, he's there all the time, engrossed in the literature which is all he can see.

the constant creaking of the old structure is all chenle can hear as he makes his way over to the library. at one in the morning, the palace is truly creepy, like one of those haunted buildings full of spirits that suddenly scare you in the night.

now, chenle isn't one to believe in the supernatural, but some of these nightly events in the castle truly can't be explained away. sometimes, he almost gives in to believing all of stories about paranormal activity happening in the castle, something about an old king going haywire and murdering his whole entire family.

father and mother would tell him the stories to scare him out of staying up late, saying that old king chen was gonna come out of the walls late at night and scare him if he ever tried to roam the palace halls past his bedtimes.

but chenle's an adult now, much too grown to be believing in some make believe ghost stories.

back to his mission of getting to the library with nothing but his tiny lamp, chenle sighs in the darkness of the empty halls, his sigh seemingly echoing in the silence and bouncing off the walls. he pauses to observe his barely lit surroundings, and he feels his stomach drop when he hears the sound of faint footsteps across the hall.

who else could be awake at this time?

"hello?"

chenle pauses again as he listens to the greeting. he recognizes that voice, it's you, chenle thinks he could recognize your voice from miles away. "y/n?" he calls out, he doesn't mean to do that, he just really wanted to say your name, is that such a crime? he doesn't think it is.

when you finally come into his like of vision, chenle lets out a sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach will hopefully go away now. for some reason, he feels much more safe with you here. "oh god you scared me ch— your highness".

ah, it's still the same, despite your long friendship, you still don't usually address chenle by his name. you always say it's because you have to "respect his title", but chenle doesn't really like it. he likes it more when you call him by his first name, even if it is disrespectful for a commoner to do such a thing.

chenle never cares when it's with you.

"you scared me" chenle emphasizes, taking in a deep breath. "my apologies".

"it's fine, uh.. why are you awake exactly?" you ask, though chenle wanted to ask you that, it seems you beat him to it. how funny. "if you don't mind me asking of course".

of course, all you ever really do is look after people, you take after your mother, it's evident to chenle that being a medic was your calling. "oh i can't sleep, i'm heading to the library to get a book that'll hopefully tire me".

you chuckle at the words, your laughter is pretty, chenle notes. "of course, you're always in that library, seems you spend most of your time reading" chenle laughs at your tone of voice, your teasing him, you talk like how your mother used to talk about him when you were children.

"reading is..fun".

those words seem to confuse you, and you blink, lightly tilting your head to the side. "i have never heard someone describe reading as fun, but i guess it makes sense for you".

chenle wants to ask about the meaning of those words, because they seem to have so many layers, but you begin again before he can even try to ask. "i heard about your new marriage" there's a certain distaste in your voice chenle can't exactly pinpoint. "congratulations".

chenle allows for himself to frown, his stomach curling in an uncomfortable way at just the thought of his new marriage. he doesn't want to talk about it, because it's just going to make him upset. "oh yeah it's quiet.. exciting news".

you pick up on his tone of disgust, his gritted teeth, and the way his eyes quickly cast around the room, but you stay silent. "anyway, i should be heading to the library, find a nice book, have any recommendations?"

you blink at the sudden question, scouring your mind for books you think the crown prince might be charmed by. "frenchman's creek by daphne du maurier".

chenle raises an eyebrow. "that's in the library?"

"yeah i uh— i read it a couple weeks ago, it was amazing" you mutter, trying to keep eye contact with the prince who was clearly trying to not look you in the eye. "i think you'll like it, i mean— i hope you do".

chenle hums, noting down your recommendation in his mind. "i'll make sure to read it then, thank you y/n, good night".

your eyes widen as you realize that it is indeed the middle of the night, and your conversation has to end eventually. "right right, it's no problem, good night your highness".

chenle frowns again at the sound of his title escaping your lips, but he doesn't say anything, just gives you a small smile and walks past you and towards the library.

he doesn't see you watch him walk away, he's much too busy thinking about how much he wants you to say his name.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK TIRED" THE WORRYING tone in his fiancée's voice doesn't breeze past chenle, but he pays it no mind, ignoring the question. yinuo blinks, clearly expecting the silence, chenle's mother did say he's prone to giving people the "cold shoulder". she sighs, reaching out to touch his shoulder but immediately pulling back, he probably wouldn't like that. "chenle.."

"i'm fine" chenle replies faster than he intends, he brushes off any dust that might be on his shoulder and rubs his right eye. "i just lost a few hours of sleep that's all" he states rather unconvincingly, but yinuo doesn't comment more, just sighs again.

chenle holds out his arm, which the princess quickly links with hers, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "let's just get this over with.." he shakes his head, feeling a hand of support from his future wife run up and down his back. "the faster we get through with this the faster we both get out of here".

yinuo is happy to know chenle doesn't despise her, he's just not comfortable with her, and chenle, he really is trying his best, he might be coming off as rude, but he just isn't on board with this whole thing. "they're all so extra, making us do this.."

"right, the least they could do is make us enter at different times but no, we have to do this walk in together like were walking down the aisle".

chenle glances down at their linked arms, letting a sigh escape his lips as the two of them finally exit the room they had been put into together. starting their way off to the meeting room down the hall, chenle allows for his mind to wander, he can't be focused on his fiancée or upcoming marriage, he's much too focused on other things.

you, namely.

the crown prince can't focus on what's going on when the only thing prominent in his mind is you. yeah your exchange last night was a short one, but it was also a memorable one. after weeks of going back and forth with things that just didn't make sense, and a mind that was in a frenzy, just talking to you in the middle of the night was enough to relax chenle.

you two haven't been able to talk in the past few weeks.. evidently, chenle is a prince to be king who has to focus on ruling a kingdom and your a medic who has to focus on taking care of others. you two have no time to be friends now that you're adults, it doesn't help that chenle now has all this added pressure on him, and you clearly feel like he's become a stranger.

chenle guesses the.. power imbalance is what's driving this. he's apart of the royal family, a crown prince, set to take the crown and become king, your a commoner, someone who lives just above the poverty line, the only reason you're able to stay afloat is because you took up your mothers position as the palace's medic, but even then, you can almost barely take care of her.

chenle hates thinking about it, because the two of you used to be so close, an unbreakable pair, two boys who couldn't be separated even with the differences between you two. your ranks in society never bothered you, never disturbed your friendship, never disturbed you as a pair, it never mattered. he often finds himself reminiscing on those times, the times where he could see you without his mind listing everything he had to do after that.

"chenle? are you listening?"

chenle blinks out of his daze, arm still linked with yinuo's as he gazes at his future father in law. he pretends to not see the look of worry the woman on his arm sends him, clearing his throat. "yeah, my apologies".

"uh huh, my regards to you, i know the sudden.. passing of the king was hard on you, and we hope your grieving well".

so your throwing your daughter at me, how great. chenle laughs in his mind, tongue poking through his inner cheek, he already knew he wasn't going to like where this was going. "now, about the marriage—"

chenle tunes him out easily, letting out a silent sigh which his mother hears, sending him a glare from across the room as the breath escapes his lips. he doesn't pay any mind to the look from his mother, though he knows she's quickly getting annoyed with how he isn't paying attention.

the discussion is exactly how chenle thought it'd be, the parents discuss everything and just assume their children agree from the get go, they don't even bother asking them their thoughts, or even how they felt, they just threw them into this like they were some baby making machines.

chenle guesses it's just how the cycle goes, his parents had to go through this, and so did their parents before them, and their parents before them, and so on. this is how things work, chenle can't run away from his fate, even with how much he opposes this arrangement.

"and for children.." just the mention of children is enough to make both chenle and yinuo tense, but they both play it off as the cold of the room making them flinch. "you can decide how many you want, but more than one would be nice, and especially a son would be nice".

of course, chenle sings in his head. he wonders how much they'll have to drill that into their heads, some stupid importance men have or something. he glances at his fiancée, whose trembling in her place beside him. he places a gentle hand on her back. "it's alright, calm down" he whispers enough so that she can hear it over the chatter of her father and mother.

"this is not fun".

"yeah, tell me about it" the crown prince grits his teeth, his comment eliciting a small laugh out of the woman beside him. he has to admit, he does enjoy her company.

"ah, i see you two are getting along!"

upon hearing the remark, the two pause, an awkward silence spreading between them. they exchange a small glance before chenle clears his throat, speaking up. "yeah um.. this was a nice meeting, we can continue chatting about the marriage another time, we thank you for coming, the guards will escort you out".

though chenle smiles at his future in laws, he feels nothing but nauseous the whole time.

"WHERE ARE YOU HEADING, YOUR HIGHNESS?" THE QUESTION from kun isn't enough to make chenle stop in his tracks, and he continues his way down the hall. kun blinks as the younger ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows. he then lets out a sigh, letting his hands drop as his eyes stay pointed at the crown prince. "chenle? where are you going?" chenle still doesn't stop, but he seems to acknowledge the older this time.

"to the rose garden" he responds quickly, only getting another eyebrow furrow from the older. he finally stops, turning towards the other with a look that kun cannot exactly pinpoint at the current moment. "if you need me, i'll be there".

"is something wrong?"

chenle takes in a breath, gritting his teeth. curse qian kun for being so caring, curse him for always knowing when something's up. he's quick to shake his head, mustering the fakest of fake smiles. "nothing's wrong! i just need fresh air!"

kun blinks, totally not buying that horrible lie, but he doesn't say anything about it, just mutters a small "okay" and lets chenle be on his way. chenle didn't mean to lie to kun, he just doesn't know how to explain his feelings at the current moment.

so, he gives the older a small smile, turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the titular rose garden, the one that's given him so much comfort over these past few years. he doesn't know why just the presence of everyone in that room was enough to make him want to throw up, but his anxieties wouldn't settle, he can't bear to stay inside this castle much longer.

chenle has no idea why the feeling of suffocation is constantly overtaking him these days, but the walls are slowly pushing in on him, leaving him breathless and nothing more than a weak human vessel.

when chenle does finally step outside, met by a plethora of roses and the smell of pollen in the air, the pit in his stomach doesn't settle. instead of letting out a sigh of relief, he pauses in his tracks, allowing for his eyes to roam the area he'd grown to love as a child.

chenle sighs, not of relief, but sighs with another indescribable feeling he can't explain, walking up to a display of white roses. he knows they're sharp, your old warnings flash in his head as he stares at the pretty flowers before him, tracing them with his fingers as he's always done when in the rose garden.

"don't hurt yourself again, your highness".

it's when chenle hears you that he immediately jumps, but then he relaxes, slowly. what were the odds of this happening again? you seem to read his mind, because you chuckle at the expression which graces his features. chenle raises an eyebrow, a humored smile coming to his face. "you sure you actually have bandaids this time?"

the reference makes you snicker, looking down at the floor as you turn away from your childhood friend. you rummage through your pocket, finally pulling out a bandaid, one which wasn't present when you were seven and yelling for chenle to not touch the roses. "there you go, now you won't cut your finger".

for once today, chenle suddenly feels relaxed, it's always with you, isn't it? his mind notes that down, he'll remember it for later. he takes the bandaid from you, a smile coming to his face as the nostalgia settles on him. "thank you, you're always looking after everyone, you sure know how to do your job".

the words make you pause, but you don't look at chenle as you think of a response, instead turning to the white roses displayed in front of you. you lightly poke them, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "well, what kind of medic would i be if i didn't look out for others? i'd be an idiot to ever let our highness get hurt".

chenle's lips turn up, and he laughs in just the slightest, but he isn't sure why he laughs. there's just something about you that makes chenle feel at ease, you calm his worries without even having to do anything, it's not like he's even telling you about these worries either, but the anxiety he once felt seems to be nothing now.

spending time with you calms chenle, he wants to preserve as much of this time as possible.

"i started reading your recommendation" chenle suddenly blurts out, wanting to continue a conversation with you. he doesn't know how limited your time will be. "frenchman's creek.. i like it so far, it's an interesting choice, though".

you raise an eyebrow. "why's that?"

"i didn't peg you for an enjoyer of pirate romances" chenle shrugs, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to stare at you for too long, because he doesn't think he'd be able to look away.

"well i don't like limiting my interests to one genre, you'd know about that".

chenle blinks, the words striking him in a way only the words you say can. how do you always manage to do that? it's not really the words, it's just how you say them, even if you don't make your intentions clear, chenle always knows what you mean. "it always manages to surprise me, i'm not sure what's gonna happen next".

you click your tongue, a small smile coming to your face. "just so you know, it doesn't have a happy ending".

chenle gasps, overdramatizing the volume of his voice. "you're giving me spoilers? in the rose garden?" his words make you snicker, and you pick a white rose from the bush, unfazed by the thorns which slowly sink into your fingers.

"i didn't spoil anything specific" you finally turn back to chenle, twirling the rose between your fingers. "just told how it was gonna end up.." you mutter, stepping closer to chenle unconsciously. you look at up, suddenly anxious as ever. "may i?" you ask, motioning towards the rose with your eyes.

chenle blinks, his mind going blank for a few seconds. what do you want to do exactly? he gazes at your hands fidgeting on the stem of the flower, and the pieces slowly put themselves together in his brain. are you going to..? "i— yes, sure.."

you raise an eyebrow, not really trusting the seemingly hesitant consent chenle had given, but he clears his throat, reiterating it for you; "yes, you can".

upon hearing the answer, you step closer once again, placing the rose into his hair, your careful to not hurt chenle, and especially careful because you don't want the stem to get tangled in chenle's hair. "i.. i thought it'd look nice on you, and it does, you look— you look great".

chenle blinks, a sudden red hue coloring his cheeks. it's such a basic compliment, one he's been given many times by other people, but it feels different coming from you.

it's always different when it's with you.

chenle clears his throat, unable to prevent a smile from crossing his face. you don't look at him anymore, looking away to prevent yourself from burning up, but you allow for a smile to come to your face as you think about the action you just performed.

you have no idea why you're so giddy about this.

"oh um.." chenle pauses, laughing awkwardly. "thank you, that's very sweet".

"oh it's no problem i just— i uh, it compliments your hair".

chenle hums, looking down at the floor. he hopes you don't see his face burning, and you hope he doesn't see your face burning, it's such a hilarious thing, but you both are much too flustered to find your current circumstances amusing. "you have an eye for those things too?"

"well i have an eye for many things".

i can see that, chenle doesn't say that, though, just smiles at you. you only give him a mere glance, and a small smile yourself. "it was nice seeing you, ch— your highness" you notice how your correction makes chenle frown, but you continue. "i'll be off now, have a good day".

chenle only frowns again when he realizes your time together is over, he wants to continue the conversation, wants to try to use an excuse, wants to use his power to order you to stay, but he doesn't give into the desires he wants so badly, just nods. "oh uh, don't let me keep you here".

you chuckle. "i wouldn't really mind if you did".

the words have an unspoken affect on chenle, an affect that he can't exactly explain, but he can feel. he can feel it in the way his ears heat up and his stomach flips. "alright then, bye y/n".

"bye".

and as chenle watches you leave, the feeling of anxiety he'd entered the garden with seemed to wither away, dissolving away like it was nothing.

he thinks about your 'bye' for hours, unable to get the sound of your voice out of his bed.

"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE DAYS?" CHENLE doesn't answer immediately, as always these days. he skims the row of books before him, fidgeting with the one in his hands. he's not ignoring his friend, he's just focused on other things. "fine" he responds, grunting as he lightly struggles to pull the book from the shelf, but he doesn't ask for help. he doesn't need help. "what's with that look?"

park jisung blinks at his longtime friend, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. "you don't look fine".

chenle scoffs, suddenly feeling super defensive. he doesn't look at jisung anymore, the other is going to begin to annoy him if he keeps staring at him. "what do you know about looking fine?"

he hears jisung's sigh of defeat. "well i'm just concerned for you, we haven't talked in a while, you've been so busy preparing for your coronation and.. marriage".

chenle resists the urge to roll his eyes. "my coronation isn't for another three months, preparations have all been lackluster".

"and the marriage?"

chenle snaps his head towards jisung, giving him an indescribable look. jisung is quick to shut his mouth, not wanting to face chenle's terrifying wrath. the older prince glares dangerously at the younger, who chuckles awkwardly and scratches his hand. he doesn't have to say anything, but jisung knows he should probably change the subject.

"uh.. um, are you still friends with that medic kid?"

now that is a question chenle wasn't expecting. a question about you? when he snaps his head over at jisung for the second time, the younger almost freezes, noticing the pointed look in his eyes. "what?"

"y/n, the medic kid!" jisung reiterates, clearly thinking the issue is that chenle didn't hear him the first time. "his mom used to work here, right? is he still around?"

chenle narrows his eyes, puzzled at where jisung is trying to go with this.. question. he'd been dealt with a fair amount of teasing from his friend because of how much closer the two of you seemed, jisung often questioned how much of a "friend" you really were to chenle, but the older would always combat it with a glare and snappy insult as a response.

"yes he's still around.. he took over mrs. l/n's position".

jisung blinks dumbly. "oh? what happened to her?"

just the question is enough to put a sour taste in chenle's mouth. "she just couldn't go on any longer one day, she retired a few years ago and he took over her position".

"you don't know what happened to her?"

"y/n didn't tell me anything specific" chenle is beginning to get annoyed. he knows it's in jisung's nature to be curious like this but god, if he wanted to know these things so bad he could've just asked you. "just go ask him if you're so curious".

he hears a small "hmph" sound from jisung before the younger prince sounds again. "i will then! y/n! hey!"

chenle didn't actually think you'd be passing by the library at that exact moment, but you were. you pause, backtracking as you look into the library, blinking at the jumping prince before you. "uh— hi, your highness, what do you need me for?"

jisung is quick to chuckle, waving off your use of formalities. "please, there's no need to be so formal, were friends after all!"

you only respond with a small smile, giving chenle a mere glance. "i'm just doing what i'm supposed to, i can't call you by your name.."

"well right now, you're going to call me by my name" jisung demands, which makes you snicker. he really hasn't changed. you look down at the floor, hands picking at your nails. "your allowed to, right chenle?"

chenle was not expecting to be included in this conversation. is jisung reading his mind or something? how could he seem to tell exactly what chenle wanted to say? he feels his face heat up, but he isn't exactly sure why it does that. "i mean— yeah, yes, were friends".

jisung then turns back to you, a clear 'see?' expression on his face as he smiles in victory at chenle proving him right. you chuckle at chenle's response, smiling again, but it's much more directed at chenle this time. "fine then, jisung, what do you need me for?"

jisung then walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder (a hand chenle is suddenly laser focused on) almost as if to reassure you. "how have you been?"

your eyebrows furrow. it's not a weird question to ask, you just weren't expecting for him to ask a question. you share another confused glance with chenle, then snickering lightly. "fine.. i uh— i've just been trying my best, as always".

jisung hums, his finger going up to caress your cheek lightly, a finger which chenle again laser focuses on, he can't help but narrow his eyes at jisung, wondering what the hell is he doing?

"uh huh, and how's your mother?"

at the mere mention of your mother, you seem to go still, pausing as you let jisung's question simmer into the air. you try your best to collect your words, opening your mouth to speak, but then you close it, as if wanting to keep your thoughts to yourself.

chenle picks up on your sudden silence, as if he could feel your heightened anxieties, he speaks up; "are you alright, y/n?" he asks, concern lacing his tone as he sees the worry in your eyes as you think about your mother.

you snap out of your little daze, clearing your throat as you nod. "yeah yeah, i uh— i'm fine, mom is.. she's doing okay".

"okay?"

"she's sick" you blurt quickly, fingers fidgeting at shirt collar. "but she's doing much better now, i'm taking care of her and everything.." you look away from the two royals, scratching your cheek out of habit.

"oh, oh my god i didn't know she was sick" jisung realizes how awkward he made the situation. "um, i wish her the best".

chenle doesn't say anything, he sees the way you glance around the room, desperately trying to think about everything else. "yeah, tell her i said hi" he states immediately, and you finally stop looking around the room to look at chenle, he notices that look in your eyes, the one where it seems like your about to cry, but you're holding in your tears.

even with all that, you smile at chenle, as if his words had healed you in some way. "i'll make sure to do that, i uh.. i have to go now, i don't want for anyone to die while i stand here".

jisung's eyes widen, and he gasps. "right! go go, you have a job to do, sorry for holding you up" you dismiss his words with a wave, jisung is still so cute, as cute as he was when you were children.

"it's fine really, you actually kind of made my day".

"well i'm happy that i could!"

you smile again at jisung, then smile lightly at chenle, who almost wants to jump towards you and trap you in a tight hug. "thank you, your hi— jisung" you quickly correct yourself, clearing your throat. "i'll see you some other time, and you chenle, i'll see you later".

chenle allows for himself to go red at the words, what do you mean by later? he tries his best to register the words, and the fact that you just called him by his name after what seems like forever, but he doesn't say anything, even though he feels jisung's gaze burning holes into his head. "later? yeah, later".

chenle has no idea why he agreed.

it's you, that's why he agreed.

WHEN CHENLE FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS AGAIN that very night, he doesn't even think before raising out of his bed and deciding he was going to go to the library. he stares at the copy of frenchman's creek on his desk, mind immediately flashing with thoughts of you. he feels the structure of the book cover with his finger, blinking as he weighs his options for a moment. he could go back to sleep, but he could also go to the library and entertain himself with more literature.

"i already got up anyway.." chenle mutters to himself, grabbing the book on his desk and the situated lamp on his desk. he doesn't mind the chills which course through his body, though it's cold, the cold is no longer a bother to him, he's much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway..

when chenle leaves his room, he notices the halls aren't as dark as they were the other time he walked them when he went to the library the other night. he blinks into the halls, the air practically pushing against him the moment he leaves his room. chenle allows for himself to let out a weary breath, no one is around to watch him be vulnerable anyway.

as he steps out of his room, the floor of the old structure creaking under his feet, he feels a breeze of cold air rush past him, but for some unknown reason, he doesn't shiver.

chenle doesn't allow for himself to stand by and simply breath any longer, so, he takes himself down the hallway, his feet leading him to his familiar place of solace (well second most at least). he notices how the hallway seems to be more lit, he could see torches as he passed through the long corridors, eyes trained on the paintings which situated themselves on the walls.

there have always been paintings decorating the walls, paintings which dictate the many generations of the zhong family. chenle watched as a kid as an artist was appointed to paint him, father, and mother, a new painting to place on the timeline of the zhong dynasty which would extend across the entire palace.

as chenle spends more time thinking about it, it dawns on him, he's going to be displayed on the wall in a painting one day as the king. one day he's going to have to sit down with yinuo and their inevitable child as an artist uses several colors on a canvas to create a painting of the next zhong generation, and his eventual child is going to have to walk past it every time they make it through this expanse of a hallway.

chenle used to enjoy staring at the paintings, used to love watching the process of paintings being created, but now, with father gone, chenle can't bring himself to glance at the painting situated on the wall without feeling nauseous. every time he tries to look at it, a silent breath has to escape his lips, or else he feels like he's going to collapse onto the floor.

he developed a habit of speed walking past the final portrait in the hallway after fathers passing, he could never look at his face again after having to watch the life slowly fade away from his eyes. he can't even look at a photograph of his father anymore without wanting to throw up everywhere.

when chenle makes it to the library, having walked very fast past the last painting in the hallway, he pushes open the doors immediately, wanting so badly to escape the suffocating hallway.

when chenle does make it into the room, he's quick to close the door behind him, but he startles when he notices that someone else is in the room. he blinks and narrows his eyes at the figure in the room, then, he relaxes as he quickly realizes who it is.

it's you.

chenle feels himself calm in just the slightest upon knowing it's you in the room and not some other staff member. it's not that chenle has anything against the other staff, it's just.. it's different with you.

how many times does his mind have to conjure that up as an excuse?

chenle ignores the reprimanding voice, it's one he vaguely recognizes, it's not his voice, it's a distant voice that he thinks he could recognize if he focused hard enough.

but he can't, because you notice him, seemingly reading his thoughts as you turn back to make eye contact with the crown prince. "hi".

"hi" chenle replies easily, it's awkward, of course it's awkward, it's the middle of the night. his eyes dart away from yours, immediately scouring the library. you allow for yourself to snicker at his lack of attention on you, and he notices, now staring dead at you. "what?"

"nothing nothing" you mutter, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. chenle wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, just looks down at the floor. "how was it?"

"huh?"

"the book" you clarify, glancing down at the copy of frenchman's creek chenle has in his hands. chenle quickly feels his face heat up, of course you were referring to the book, what else would you be talking about? the air in the room? his walk down the halls? how he's doing? you patiently wait for his answer, flipping through a book in your hands as you let out a sigh.

"oh uh— it's a surprise, that's for sure, i didn't expect to enjoy it as much as i did, i didn't enjoy the ending, though".

you raise an eyebrow, but a smile comes to your face. "why not?"

chenle finally unfreezes and steps closer to you, the book tucked in his arms as he stands beside you, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other. your eyes finally gaze over at his, and when the two of you make eye contact, it's brief. chenle blinks, and he allows for his lips to turn up, he thinks you look very pretty in this moment, the lighting of the library emphasizing your features.

beautiful, he's beautiful, chenle, a voice sings in his head, a voice which is, again, familiar, but he can't exactly determine who it is.

"i wanted dona and jean to get their happy ending, i was rooting for them".

you hum, seemingly expecting that answer, your eyes shift towards the shelf before you, focused on the books which litter it. "well, i like to think it's realistic, it's not often that people get their happy endings, even if they do deserve it".

chenle takes in your words, it seems like such a you thing to say. "i would've preferred if they did have a happy ending, though, it's why i read fiction in the first place".

"you read fiction because..?"

"it's like an escape from reality".

the words make you pause, and for a second, chenle thinks he must've said something wrong, he can't read the look on your face. he blinks up at you, your silence taking him off guard. "i mean, i guess that makes sense".

you seem to want to say something else, you seem to have a lot of thoughts on your mind, but you don't disclose any of them, just smile. "so, did you like the book?..your highness".

you hesitated before saying it, and chenle knows you wanted to say his name, but you stopped yourself, as always. he feels his gut curl in an uncomfortable way, and he clears his throat.

"y/n?"

"yes?"

chenle takes a deep breath. "were friends" he states immediately, and he notices the way you begin to avoid his eyes, looking everywhere but at him. "were friends, we've known each other since we were seven, you can call me by my name".

the truthful statement makes you pause, and you begin to scour your mind for excuses. "i can't call you by your name, your a noble and i'm a—"

"that's an order".

your mouth closes immediately, you can't argue with that, you can't really argue with anything chenle says. chenle seems pleased by his victory, a small smile showing on his face. you quickly scoff, turning your head away from your childhood friend. "of course you can just do that".

"i just.. it doesn't matter if you work here, your my friend, you can call me by my name".

"alright then, your— chenle, did you like the book?"

chenle chuckles lightly, oh he loves the way you say his name. he remembers when you were younger, you'd always pronounce his name wrong, it frustrated you so much that you would just call him 'le' instead of his full name.

"i did, it was an enjoyable book, the plot made me crave more, i just.. i can't believe it ended like that".

"your still mad about it?"

"yes i'm mad about it! i need my happy ending for my pirate love story!"

you giggle at his words, you giggle, chenle can't believe it. he just made you giggle, in the dead of night, in the palace library, he made you giggle. you take the book away from his hands, placing it back between the other books in the romance section. "sadly, most love stories don't end that way".

chenle sighs, clicking his tongue. "i hate when that happens, i'd like to have just a little hope that true love actually works in the end.."

you chuckle again, shaking your head. "i never thought you'd be a fan of happy endings and stuff like that".

chenle raises an eyebrow, puzzled by the words. "why's that?" he asks, sounding just the slightest bit offended at the statement. you blink, and he guesses that you notice his tone of offense. you find it humorous, and chenle furrows his eyebrows this time.

"i don't know, i guess you struck me as the kind of person who'd enjoy bittersweet endings, you know, you seem to enjoy tragic love stories".

"i do enjoy tragic love stories" chenle makes sure to emphasize his point, and he quickly looks away from you. "but i also like when they have good endings, sometimes, love stories need their happy endings".

"that's cute" you comment, and chenle allows for a smile to come to his face. you didn't call him cute, per se, but it's still enough to make his cheeks go red. he should not be flustered, that's ridiculous, that's— he can't be flustered.

you don't mind his silence, instead walking over to another shelf to see what other books are there. chenle pokes his tongue against his inner cheek, watching you intently. the red dusting his cheeks doesn't go away, it just seems to amplify as you have your back towards him. "it's cute?"

"yeah, i can see where you're coming from, not all love stories need to be.. realistic, if it makes you feel better when the lovers have a happy ending, than who am i to judge?"

chenle rocks back and forth on his heels, letting out a small hum at your words. "so you're the kind of guy who enjoys tragic love stories with horrible endings?"

"on most occasions, yes".

you seem to finally find a book that you'll enjoy, because you pick one from the shelf and turn back to chenle. "so how are you feeling?"

"what?"

you merely glance at chenle, than glance back down at the book in your hands and read the synopsis on the back of it. "how are you feeling these days? you have a lot of new things being stacked on you now, you must be stressed out".

chenle allows for his jaw to drop in just the slightest, it's not like people don't ask him about how he feels, it's that he can't believe you noticed the mini battle he was having with himself. he can't believe you would even be concerned about how he was feeling, he felt like most people wouldn't care about what he was going through anyway.

"oh it's.." chenle pauses, truly not being able to actual formulate coherent words. "well it's a lot, but nothing i haven't been taught how to handle by father".

your face forms into an unreadable expression, one chenle hates because he doesn't exactly know what kind of expression it is. "they prepare you for things like this?"

"well.. mostly, but even with all the excessive lessons, it all kinds of goes to my head and makes my head spin, sometimes it feels like the palace is suffocating me, taking the air out of my lungs and leaving me helpless, sometimes— i don't know, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some horrible force which just wants to make me suffer, i'm not sure why i feel like this really but—"

chenle stops, clearing his throat as he quickly averts his gaze from yours. he has no idea where that vomit of words came from, but he feels if he continues talking, he's going to say something that he'll regret. you don't answer immediately, so chenle decides to speak up once again. "i'm sorry, i have no idea where that came from it's just.. i don't know, pretend i didn't say anything".

"don't apologize, it's good to talk about things like that once in a while, bottling everything up will just overwhelm you even more".

"it's just, i don't talk to people about things like this".

"why not?"

chenle shrugs, not really sure how to answer that question. "i feel they're sort of..unnecessary, i know i can't control how i feel but my feelings have never really felt important in most situations".

"they're important to me".

the words make chenle pause, his ears reddening and a sputter in his voice as he tries his best to respond to that statement. the words are so simple, but they have such a lasting effect on the crown prince that he can't really respond to them. you care, you care, he cares! that one inner voice screams in his head. he feels his heart begin beating sporadically, it's.. god he's so grateful for you. "oh.. uh, really?"

you smile, chuckling softly. "yeah they are, you shouldn't ever feel like they aren't".

chenle feels his stomach flip, you're so sweet. "i.. thank you, y/n".

chenle hopes you don't notice his red face as you spend the rest of the night conversing about several kinds of literature.

"ARE YOU NERVOUS?" CHENLE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF taking a weary breath when that question is asked. he hears the chuckle of amusement sound from his fiancée's lips, and he allows for a small smile to show on his face. "no" he responds, clearly lying, but yinuo doesn't seem to catch it, as he begins to pick at the fabric of her dress. he turns to her, noticing the clear anxiety she displays.

"i am" she responds, putting on her gloves and rubbing a scar on her knuckles. "i've never really been a big fan of.. crowds" she states, her tone exhibiting disgust as she says the word 'crowds'. chenle has been able to pick up on her habits pretty easily, he has spent much more time with her these days after all.

chenle hums at the response, he gets it, even as he grew up having to get used to these kinds of events, it never got easier. the pit in his stomach would often never cease, that nauseating feeling only heightened, and he could just barely mask the anxious expression on his face. "i get that, they're all too loud".

"i mean, do they really care about us that much? they can't just wait until the wedding.."

the sentence makes chenle snicker as he notices the mere irritation in her tone. "they all just want something to do, i guess" he mutters, pulling his sleeve over his wrist and repeating a reassuring mantra in his head.

it's nothing you haven't done before, chenle, just get it over with, and you'll be fine. chenle thinks if he focuses enough, he can hear his father's voice repeating the mantra to him in his head.

he caresses his wrist lightly, settling in the air of the room. he can hear the faint sound of people cheering outside, and just the sound is enough to make his stomach begin flipping, the anxiety is already heightening. "all that just to see us?"

"they want to see how in love we can look".

"seems unnecessary".

"it is unnecessary".

chenle laughs again, finally walking over to his fiancée and linking their arms together. he sighs, looking down at the floor. "you sure you're not nervous?" she asks once again, raising a curious eyebrow as she notices chenle's change in behavior.

"okay maybe i am a little nervous but that's besides the point".

yinuo laughs, humored by chenle's blatant honesty. he simply gives a small smile, turning to the door of the room and letting out another small breath. they have to face a crowd, a crowd of people who are here to see them and celebrate their totally real love, a crowd who are there to watch as they are confirmed future husband and wife, they're going to get married and have children that go on to take the throne, they have to look in love, they have to.. act in love.

chenle doesn't know how in love he can look, he might get too overwhelmed and throw up right then and there. just the idea of having to do all of this is enough to make him want to cry, and he never thought he'd ever think that, because he doesn't cry, he shouldn't cry, father taught him that enough through ear shattering yells and broken glass.

he hates feeling vulnerable, but in a moment like this, having to mask his feelings in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better, who probably don't care, vulnerability is his one true feeling.

he closes his eyes, taking another deep breath as he tries his best to ignore the anxiety settling upon him.

"chenle!"

chenle snaps out his anxious daze at the shout of his name, recognizing the voice as kun, who he remembers he forgot to greet this morning, as he was in a rush.

but it's not just kun, it's also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. kun has his fingers wrapped around your wrist, there's a smile on his face (and yours, chenle thinks your smile is so so pretty). "oh, hi kun, y/n".

look at both of them, chenle, not just y/n.

but for once, chenle doesn't listen to the reprimanding voice in his head.

he doesn't even check how in love with you he must look, just a few seconds ago he was freaking out over how he was supposed to look in love with the woman beside him, but he has no problem looking in love with you.

but he doesn't exactly realize that, too busy admiring you clear as day.

"i— we just wanted to wish you good luck" kun nudges you lightly, and you let out a small laugh as you look away nervously, a red hue tinting your cheeks as you avoid chenle's eyes. "both of you, your highness" he adds, bowing lightly at yinuo and nudging you so you can do the same.

yinuo just smiles, lightly laughing, but chenle is stuck in place, mesmerized by you and.. just you. "thank you, i have to say, everyone here is insanely sweet, i feel welcome".

"well that's my job, i can't have any future queens feeling uncomfortable".

the statement from kun makes you snort, and you shove him in the shoulder. you look away from him to glance at chenle, who is still lost in his mind, you furrow your eyebrows as you watch the cogs in his brains turn, what is he thinking so hard about?

"chenle" you call out.

seemingly snapping out of the trip inside of his mind, chenle looks up at you, hoping it isn't obvious that he's affected by your soft calling of his name. "good luck" you reiterate, a small whisper seemingly shared between only the two of you.

chenle feels his face heat up immediately, eyes widening at the sight of your pretty smile. "thank you, both of you, thank you".

chenle doesn't look over at yinuo when she gives him a weird look.

"right! again, good luck! y/n and i have to go do something right y/n?"

you seem to be puzzled by that comment, chenle determines that by the way your eyebrows furrow. "what? but i thought we were supposed to—"

"alright! good luck you two come on y/n let's go!" kun gives a quick smile and grabs your wrist again to drag you away from the newly engaged couple, who watch as you two make your way down the hall towards another part of the palace.

"weird.." chenle mutters.

"so what was that?" yinuo is quick to ask, making chenle snap his head towards her, clearly not expecting for her to ask him a question.

"what was what?"

"that, chenle" she reiterates, alluding to the little (not so little) lovesick gaze chenle had trained on you for that whole interaction. it's clear that, even with how chenle didn't check the adoration he was staring at you with, she definitely did. "you looked so smitten".

chenle allows for his expression to form into one of shock, what does she mean by that? what the fuck does she mean by that? that makes no sense, it's not like he's in love with you or anything, that would be absurd! that would be—

that wouldn't be entirely out of the picture, think about yourself chenle, the most shocking thing here would be you having no romantic feelings for him.

chenle is about to punch himself in the face for having such thoughts.

"i have no idea what your talking about".

"chenle, i know i don't know you personally like that, but i have never seen you look at someone like you look at him! what is his name? y/n? he has to have you under a spell or something, you were mesmerized".

chenle wants to say that those words are stupid, he wants to spit out some quick rebuttal and have them be on their way, but he can't muster up a coherent excuse for what she just described. how is he supposed to argue with that?

"well, y/n does know how to keep people on the hook".

"seems you enjoy being kept on the hook".

the statement makes chenle pause, and he feels his face burn once again, not at the words, but just at the thought of you, god he misses your presence already, is that weird to say? he's glad he doesn't say it out loud.

"it doesn't matter anyway, what am i supposed to do? tell him about it? not with how everything is turning out.. were getting married in a few months".

"but you're not in love with me" yinuo replies, she's sure of her words, she just knows, chenle almost feels like she's reading his mind. "you want him".

"i can't have him" chenle states as if it's a matter of fact, and it's true, he can't have you. it makes his heart hurt, the idea that even with how much he feels for you, how different it is with you, and how he's had these indescribable feelings for you since he was like eleven, he can't have you.

chenle can't run from his fate, the last thing he wants to do is break the rules, challenge a system that's been in place for pretty much decades at this point.

"you're not going to break the rules for true love?"

chenle just lets a disappointed sigh escape his lips, his stomach flips uncomfortably and he feels his head begin spinning, this topic makes him want to die in the worst way possible. "true love doesn't exist" he states rather harshly. god, he sounds like father, if seven year old chenle heard himself now, he'd grimace at the words and scowl at his new nature.

his heart aches as he utters those words, he can't help but think about you as he says those words.

good god, he feels so helpless.

"MOTHER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" NINE YEAR OLD CHENLE liked to ask questions. chenle has always liked to ask questions, being curious is in his nature, it's just that unlike jisung, he's less annoying about it. when this question popped into his nine year old brain, he knew there was no way he could ever ask father about it, he'd never be able to come back from it. mother has always been much more understanding, even with the stubborn statements she often spouted.

"yes you can, chenle".

"are.. well, can a noble and a commoner ever end up together?"

the question received silence from his mother, who, though she had previously been humming to a pleasant tune, seemed to freeze at even the idea of that question. the nine year old prince watched as his mother's face did at least seven expression changes in a matter of seconds. "could you elaborate on that question, dear?"

"can royalty marry non-royalty? could i ever be with someone who isn't royal like me?"

the reason nine year old chenle was so interested in asking this question was because of something kun had mentioned to him, about one of his cousins marrying into a royal family far far away. it got his mind turning in ways only a child's mind can, he never knew that could happen, he had grown to think that he would just end up with any other princess but could he really have a different fate? could he really change his future?

seeing as how things have gone now.. no, he couldn't.

"it depends on how it goes down, chenle".

"has it ever happened before?"

"of course it has happened" his mother finally answered, and the curious young prince allowed for his eyes to widen comically. oh he was so interested now. "in most scenarios when it does happen the commoner becomes a royal".

"i thought that was outlawed".

that statement got a laugh out of his mother, which made the nine year old blink dumbly. "it can't be outlawed, chenle, that would be ridiculous".

"so could i be with someone of a different class?"

"well, it depends on how it all works out".

chenle blinked again, the wording of the sentence confusing the young prince even more. "would father ever approve of something like that?"

she then went silent again, turning away from chenle to gaze at the bright blue sky. "i'm.. not sure, you know how unpredictable he is".

"well that's why i didn't ask him this".

another chuckle sounded from his mother, and at nine years old, chenle didn't know what was more shocking, knowing that he could possibly not have to be forced into a marriage with a princess from a faraway kingdom, or knowing that his mother didn't really have an issue with that.

too bad he didn't try to use any of that childlike courage to get his point about this marriage across.

when the little parade celebrating his marriage is over, chenle finds himself immediately on his way somewhere. he doesn't know exactly where he was going, his feet seem to have control over themselves, and he can't exactly stop himself from walking.

oh, he knows where he's going.

his feet lead him to a familiar place, your office. throughout that whole.. gathering thing or whatever, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he usually can't stop thinking about you these days, just talking to you is enough to entertain his mind for weeks, surely that can't be normal, right?

"y/n?"

chenle's sudden call startles you, seeing as how you jump from your previous position at the sound of it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, allowing for you to compose yourself as you smile at him. oh you're smile is so pretty, chenle could stare at it for hours. "oh lord, you scared me! your highness".

chenle doesn't even register the title, just gives a small smile. "sorry i'm just.." he pauses, trying to collect his words. "i don't know, actually, i just kind of came here on a whim" he shrugs, looking down at the floor and not straight at you.

you simply let out a silent chuckle, turning back to your desk and going back to packing. chenle blinks, biting down on his bottom lip as he clears his throat. "oh really? is something bothering you?"

chenle allows for himself to look up again, your back is turned now anyway, so you can't see his rapidly reddening face. "a lot is bothering me, really, it feels like i can't do anything these days without feeling like the world is slowly tearing me apart limb by limb".

"well that's certainly a way to explain your feelings" chenle can't tell how you feel about the whole thing from the tone of your voice, it's something that makes him worry, because he's anxious your making fun of him and he won't be able to tell.

much to his own surprise, you turn around and step towards him. "are you feeling alright? like— physically at least?" you ask, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. just your eyes on him is enough to have chenle's stomach doing cartwheels, he hopes you don't notice how flustered he is, that would be extremely embarrassing.

"yeah i'm not dying or anything i'm just.. i'm overwhelmed".

well you'd expect that from someone like chenle, someone in such a position of power. chenle is a crown prince set to be king, he's getting married in a few months (that fact makes your heart hurt for a reason you can't explain), he's the next ruler of the zhong dynasty, of course he is feeling overwhelmed.

"ah well that's expected" you laugh lightly. "you have no symptoms though?"

is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can't you tell i'm madly in love with you yet!?

the screaming voice in his head is just as annoyed as chenle is at his current circumstances. you narrow your eyes as you stare at him, and for a moment, chenle thinks you might be reading his mind, but he quickly dismisses such thoughts because that's ridiculous.

"no, no symptoms, i'm alright".

you seem to want to ask for more reassurance, but you don't, instead shutting your mouth and smiling at chenle. "good, i can't have you dying".

"you'd never let me die".

"you're right about that".

chenle looks down at the floor, determined to not make eye contact with you. "where are you heading?"

chenle only realizes then that you're packing your stuff, he didn't even note it down when he stepped into the room and saw that you were doing it, he was much more focused on just beginning a conversation with you, he was much more focused on talking than observing.

you hum, giving him a mere glance then looking back down to the small set of items you were packing. "i'm going to visit my mother".

chenle blinks, the words coming as a small surprise to him. "why? is she alright?"

you quickly glance back up to give him a reassuring smile. "just doing a routine check up, and it's nice to visit your mother once in a while, i need to make sure she's doing well".

chenle responds with a small 'ah', watching as you continue to pack, he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably once again, if he stays in this castle any longer, he might die from the walls which seem to slowly be pushing the air out of his lungs.

"can i come?"

chenle has no idea where that came from, it's like he had no control over his own thoughts or words, he blurted that out in a moment of vulnerability, a moment of.. wanting. he can't stay here any longer, he might die. you now fully look at him and furrow your eyebrows, clearly as puzzled as chenle is by the words. "what?" you chuckle lightly, and chenle feels his face burn immediately.

"i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from i'll g—"

"no no you can.." you pause for a moment, collecting your words. "you can tag along if you want to i just— i don't know, you can leave the castle?"

"well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to take me with you i don't even know why i asked that in the first place".

"chenle" you say softly, and just you saying his name like that has chenle's knees feeling weak. how did he deny his feelings for you for so long when you have him feeling like this? he's almost positive you can notice how flustered he is now. "if you want to come visit her with me, you can".

chenle stares at you for what seems like years (in his eyes), contemplating whether he should take your offer. your basically holding your hand out to him, begging for him to take it, for him to intertwine his fingers with yours. how could he ever turn down such a proposition?

"i— okay".

"okay? so you'll accompany me?"

"yeah, yes yes! i will" he replies much too enthusiastically for his own liking, you seem to catch on, as you laugh at his sudden shout. if your laugh wasn't so pretty chenle would've immediately turned away and replied with some snappy rebuttal.

"nice" you whisper, finally finishing your packing. chenle watches you intently, he can't exactly speak at the moment. luckily, you speak up once again. "we have to do something, though".

"what?"

you catch chenle's puzzled expression, and you laugh once again. "a disguise, just so you don't cause an uproar while we go visit my mother".

for the first time this whole entire day, chenle lets out a small laugh, amused by the words which escape your lips. "were gonna sneak around?"

you snicker, looking down at the floor. oh you're adorable, chenle shouts it out in his head, he can't tell you face to face so he'll shout it there.

"yeah, guess you could say that".

though he's just the slightest bit skeptical, chenle trusts you, and a smile crosses his face.

CHENLE DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE as much fun as he does sneaking into the village with you. well it's not really sneaking, you live here, you've grown up here, you just had to put him in some totally not suspicious cloak so that he doesn't draw attention when you make it outside of the castle. he almost fell on his face when you dragged him out of the palace gates, because of the way you dragged him, and because you started holding his hand.

chenle feels like a girl obsessing over a boy crush, just you holding his hand is enough to make him begin overthinking the whole thing in his head. according to you, you had to hold his hand to make things seem more natural, but he suspects that you're lying because of how red your face is as you try to avoid eye contact with him.

chenle has only really been to the village a few times in his whole life, though he's had his fair share of experiences here as a child, he never got to stop and observe his surroundings, much too busy trying to settle his anxiety while watching all of the people in the crowd burn holes into his head with their stares.

chenle has always been fascinated by the lives of others, whether it be the stories kun told of the urban legends village kids would spread, or the many times he begged the staff to take him on carriage rides throughout the kingdom as a child. he likes seeing situations through other people's eyes, the life of citizens who don't live as royalty seems like nothing far from the fictional stories he reads in the books in the library.

"you almost pulled off my arm, that was totally suspicious!" chenle whisper-yells, but it's not a shout of seriousness, it's playful, the beginning of a banter.

"oh i'm sorry your highness! do you need medical attention?"

chenle feigns an offensive gasp at the sarcastic comment from you, which results in nothing but a snicker from you as you nudge him with your shoulder. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb unconsciously, ignoring his clearly heating cheeks as he performs the action.

"do you still live in the same place you grew up?"

"hm? oh yeah, we could never really afford to get another place, it's become a super comforting place for me.."

"ah, i see".

chenle admires your face for much longer than he was supposed to, and if you notice, you don't seem to care enough to comment on it.

chenle allows for his eyes to roam freely around the expanse of a town. it's a pretty place, even with how tiny it seems, he feels much more relaxed here than in the large palace he grew to know as a home, the palace was really in the middle of nowhere, no fellow citizens around for him to make connections with or whatever. this town is the clear definition of community, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone.

"oh y/n! y/n!"

chenle startles from his thoughts when a shout rings in his ears, you snap your head towards the figure, a figure chenle can tell you recognize because you give them a smile, he opts to stay silent in this interaction. "hi tao, how is ying doing?"

the man smiles brightly at you, pulling you into an abrupt hug, making your fingers slip from chenle's. you squeak as he squeezes you in his arm, but you manage a smile, resisting the urge to glare at chenle as he silently snickers at your suffering. "she's recovering well! thank you so much, i don't know how i could ever repay you!"

"there's no need to" you smile softly again, finally able to remove yourself from his crushing grip, you rub your aching arm and awkwardly chuckle. "i just enjoy helping others, i'm glad she's feeling better, tell her i said hi".

"will do! thank you so much!"

the guy gives one last smack on your shoulder before walking off, and chenle has to resist the urge to laugh loudly as you wince from the strong grip who had been squeezing you to death with that hug.

"are you enjoying my misery, your highness?"

chenle can barely contain his laugh as he looks over at you, being met with your deadpanned gaze. he looks down at the floor to stop his giggling, making you frown. "no, it was just too hilarious not to laugh at".

"uh huh, you're sooo funny".

though you were clearly irritated by chenle's laughing fit, you only softly smiled at him trying to hide his laughter. you reach over to take his hand once again, just playfully glaring at him. "yeah continue laughing at my suffering, we still have to make it to my mother's house".

chenle, again, gets jolted forward by a strong tug on his hand, but he doesn't say anything more, just snickers as he sees the pure dedication in your eyes. he smiles as he sees the look in your eye, you're just so adorable.

when you abruptly stop, chenle bumps into you, and your fingers slip from his, an action which makes him frown in just the slightest. he likes holding your hand, he has no idea why, but he does.

you begin digging through your bag for your house key, and chenle simply watches, listening to you hum the tune of a song, one you always hum the tune to whenever you find yourself bored. "here" you whisper, victorious in your search for your keys. you quickly unlock the door and gesture for chenle to follow you in with nothing but the tilt of your head, he silently steps into your childhood home, a comforting feeling in the air as he closes the door behind him.

while you drop your bag onto a nearby table and begin looking through it again, chenle slowly removes the cloak he had been wearing as he observes his surroundings.

the place is nice, small, but nice. it has a comfortable sort of air that makes chenle want to immediately relax, it's not the fanciest place, or the biggest place, but it's a home, a comfortable, quiet home. chenle would love to live here, maybe in another life, a life where he doesn't end up born into a highly respected royal family, he just gets to live like this, it's a place that seems to bring a feeling of solace.

chenle glances over at you, your eyebrows furrowed as you continue going through your bag. you seem to sense his eyes, because you glance up at him and you meet his eyes. you blink, then glance over at a door across the room. "you can go see her if you want".

chenle awkwardly chuckles as he glances at the door your eyes were on, he then glances back at you. "i— can you come with me?"

chenle just wants to stay around you.

you stare puzzled for a moment, but you don't question it, you leave your bag alone and gesture for chenle to follow you to your mother's room. chenle stays silent the whole way there, noticing the way your mood changes as you step closer to the door.

you knock on the door. "mom?"

when you open the door, you peak your head through, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you hear her say something. "yes yes i know, i'll remember to tell her, i brought a guest".

chenle slowly peaks from behind you, giving your mother a small smile. "hello" he greets softly.

your mother gasps, sitting up in her bed. "zhong chenle?"

chenle lightly chuckles, looking down at the floor, you nudge him with your shoulder. "oh my goodness, you've grown so much! come here give me a hug!"

chenle is almost surprised, he was afraid she was going to have a bad reaction to his presence, but she was much more excited to see him than he thought she would be. you push chenle into her room, motioning for him to fulfill your mothers wish.

she quickly wrapped her arms around him when he got close enough to her. her hugs are still as warm as he remembers, he almost wants to hug her forever and never let go. "how are things going these days? i wanted to go to that little parade of yours but y/n forbid me from doing so!"

"because you were vomiting all morning, i wasn't going to risk it".

she pulls away from the hug to grab both of chenle's hand, smiling softly at him. the smile reminiscent of the smiles she would share with him in the hallways of the palace when she used to work there. "you always worry so much" she raises an eyebrow at you before turning back to chenle. "how have you been these days?"

chenle smiles at her, noticing you leave the room, but too focused on answering the question from your mother to follow you. "i've been good, just a little stressed from everything happening lately".

her eyes widen again, and she nods excessively. "right! your getting married soon! how are you feeling about the whole thing?"

chenle's face falls just a little bit, but he quickly reverts back to a smile, not wanting to worry her with a random frown crossing his face. "it's all.. new, it'll take some time to get used to but i know i can get through it".

the older woman smiles at him, seemingly liking those words. "that's good, i'm glad you're still friends with y/n, he missed you".

chenle blinks, the words surprising him. "he missed me?"

your mother chuckles at the question. "yes he did, i remember watching the two of you run around the castle together as children, i was afraid the friendship wouldn't last, when i first resigned, y/n said he feared you two would drift apart".

chenle almost gasps at the information he receives. were you really worried about that? for the longest time he felt like such a bad friend because he began having no time for you as the two of you grew up, yeah that's what happens as people get older but he'd always see the flash of disappointment in your eyes when he had to be dragged away for another stupid royal meeting.

"i didn't know he felt that way, it's getting much more difficult to get him alone with everything going on".

"i heard you two are beginning to talk more, he always comes to me so giddy about it these days".

chenle is again surprised by the information he hears, a small laugh of disbelief escapes his lips at the words. "really?"

"yeah, he came freaking out over you two talking about books, books! you make him so happy, chenle".

the words strike chenle like a slap in the face, it's just so shocking to him he stands with his mouth agape for much longer than he'd like to admit. his face burns at the fact, at the idea that pops into his brain.

the idea that you might feel the same.. that you might reciprocate his feelings.

he swears smoke is going to begin pouring out of his ears from how heated his face has become.

"i'm glad i could do that, y/n is truly a blessing, i don't know what i'd do without him".

chenle thinks those must've been his truest words today, a look into what's really going on in his head, a look into how he really feels.

god it's always with you isn't it?

"it was nice seeing you again, mrs. l/n, i'm glad your recovering well".

at the word 'recovering', the older woman suddenly tenses, an anxious look in her eye as she looks away from the crown prince. "right, yes, thank you for visiting, chenle, it was nice seeing you too".

chenle smiles at your mother, nodding. "i'll leave you be now".

chenle slips his hands from hers, smiling one more time before leaving her room, gently closing the door behind him. he turns around and looks over at you, your still rummaging through your back, but chenle can tell you aren't looking for something, you seem to be trying to distract yourself.

"y/n?" chenle calls out, seemingly against his own will, because he's surprised by the sound of his own voice. you simply hum in response, not wanting to look him in the eye for some unknown reason. he quickly makes his way over to you, standing beside you and accidentally bumping your shoulders.

"is she really sick? i mean she looks fine! much finer than any sick people i've seen—"

"it's her kidneys".

you cut into chenle's sentence with a shaky tone of voice, you look over at chenle, sighing as you see the confusion cross his face. "her kidneys are failing, chenle".

chenle feels his heart drop upon hearing that, and you look away as you see his reaction to the news. "what? but how did that even happen—"

you let out a distressed sigh, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes. "she contracted lupus, right before she took that break back a few years ago, she recovered and we thought everything was fine but then she started vomiting every other day and i couldn't figure out what was wrong so we went to a doctor outside of the kingdom and.."

you look like you're about to cry, and you take in a deep breath to blink away the oncoming tears, but you persist, not wanting to break down in front of the crown prince. "she got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, by that point she had been suffering from it for a whole five months! and what can i do? it's.."

incurable.

the word simmers into the air, it's unsaid, but both of you know what's truly going on. your both silent, none of you saying a word as silence quickly takes over the room. chenle finally takes the initiative and glances over at you, the tears brimming in your eyes threatening to fall at any moment.

still, you don't allow for yourself to become vulnerable in front of chenle, wiping the tears that haven't fallen from your eyes. "it's a lot to try and digest at once i'm just.. i'm not ready to see her go".

chenle gets it, anyone would get it, he stays silent, afraid of not being able to do the comforting as well as you do. "i'm sorry".

"there's no need to apologize, i mean— this is just how life works!"

"i hate that it works that way" chenle responds, fathers dying eyes flash in his mind, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it begins bleeding. god, he hates that memory, father only passed away no less than a year ago, and the image of his lifeless face still haunts chenle in his nightmares.

"yeah, but what can i do?" your clearly trying to be positive, but it's difficult for you to. "i'm just worried that one day i'll come home and she'll be gone.. i already had to go through it with dad and now— i don't know how i'll deal with it".

chenle stares at you, a small smile comes to your face as you glance back at him. chenle wants to cry just seeing you try to hold back your own tears, so he looks away from you quickly.

he then looks back at you, moving closer to you and taking your hand. "if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to— yell and cry at.. i'm here".

you chuckle at the words, tears again welling up in your eyes. chenle feels you squeeze his hand, and he smiles softly at the sight of you. "really? you'll listen to my stupid ramblings?"

"yeah" chenle responds, nodding a little bit too enthusiastically, but he doesn't care. "i will, your feelings are just as important as mine, and you're my friend, it's what friends do".

you squeeze his hand, laughing softly again as you let a small tear slip down your face. "thank you, chenle".

"it's no problem, y/n".

CHENLE IS GENUINELY GOING INSANE, AND ITS ALL because of you. he can't focus on anything but you, and it's literally driving him crazy. he has never, never in his 21 years of living on this earth ever felt so much for just one person, what is it with you? he can't even think about you without his face turning a bright shade of red, his palms easily get sweaty and his words become nothing but a jumbled mess.

chenle finds it hilarious, how he was raised to be poised and proper, never swear, never talk when you don't have to, never interrupt others, sit like this sit like that, speak like this, speak like that, but right now, he's acting like a psycho more than anything.

he's pacing around his room like he just lost his mind or something, completely distracted from everything else as his mind is focused on you and you only.

he must look crazy, hair messy, clothes in disarray, pacing back and forth as he tries to figure out if feeling like this is normal, or even allowed here.

"chenle? could you explain to me why your mother wants— oh dear".

kun walks in midway through chenle's strange breakdown thingy, and the younger isn't even paying attention to him because he's screaming into the pillow on his king sized bed. the older watches in concern, and the breath chenle lets out is a mix of weary and frustrated. "chenle? what's wrong?"

kun drops the clipboard he'd previously been holding to rush over to the younger's side, if he focuses hard enough, he swears he can see tears welling up in chenle's eyes. "chenle.."

chenle sniffles, looking down at the pillow in his lap. "i'm in love with him, kun".

kun blinks, dumbfounded. "with who?"

"with y/n! i can't— oh my god i'm so stupid!" the crown prince grabs his pillow again and lets out a well needed scream of agony, a scream that makes kun sigh as he stares at the sight before him. "i don't get it! why does he make me feel like this!? everything is so complicated and i can't even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!"

"okay okay, calm down" kun is quick to cut in, pressing a quick thumb to his cheek to wipe away the tears. "take a deep breath, talk coherently".

chenle sniffles again, taking in another breath and then exhaling, collecting himself as he tries his best to think coherently. "i don't know, kun, it's all getting to my head, i want him so bad yet i can't have him".

and just the fact makes chenle stomach drop, he wants to start sobbing once again, but he contains his tears. "it's stupid i know—"

"it's not stupid, chenle, it's totally fine to have complicated feelings about things, and people, but you'll never have closure if you don't tell him how you feel".

"but what's the point, kun?" chenle doesn't see why it would matter anyway, what would you even do when he told you how he felt? would you grimace and push him away? would you accept his confession? what would you do? it's all he can think about. "what difference does it make?"

"it gets the pressure off your back.. and, if it's any consolation for you, both you and y/n can finally come to terms with your feelings".

chenle's eyes widen at the words, they settle a new emotion on him he can't exactly explain. "what the hell do you mean by that?"

"language, your highness" kun jokingly reprimands, his tone reminiscent of his mothers scoldings whenever chenle would mess up the garden of roses on occasions. "y/n might've.. told me some things, but you'll have to ask him about that".

"that isn't fair!"

"it is! you have to ask him yourself, it's the only way to get yourself in order!"

chenle deadpans at his older friend, but kun just snickers at his expression, lightly shoving his shoulder. "don't look at me like that, you know i'm right".

chenle would roll his eyes, but kun does have a point. "maybe i'll listen to you.."

"you should".

chenle has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that response too.

CHENLE THINKS YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY PRETTY when you read. it's not that you're not usually exceptionally pretty, it's just that he enjoys admiring your profile as you read, eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, lips occasionally parting in shock, he could stare for hours. he might look creepy on a few certain occasions, but you rarely ever notice.

chenle doesn't know how many times the two of you have been up together late in the night, just sitting in the library talking about literature. he doesn't even remember what your talking about most of the time, but he loves talking to you about bullshit pertaining to the books your both into.

for the both of you, books are sort of an escape in a way. chenle enjoys indulging himself in worlds of fiction to distract himself from his mess of a life, and you enjoy indulging yourself in messy love stories with terrible endings to distract yourself from your own issues in life.

it's all truly a coping mechanism for you two.

you both are a coping mechanism for each other, chenle finds it all simpler around you, and you feel as if you don't have to be so professional around him anymore.

chenle doesn't sleep much these days, but that's because he's spending most of his nights in the library with you. he likes listening to you talk, the way you simply piece together your words is amazing.

"and it was so sad! i cried my eyes out for weeks after reading that!"

chenle snickers at your whining, and you caress the material of the book in your hands. "i mean.. the book is literally called, they both die in the end".

"i know! i know! but that doesn't mean it's still not sad" you frown, recalling the ending of the book you were rambling about.

you quickly stop your pouting and make your way over to another part of the library, the section including romance books. chenle doesn't follow you, but his eyes surely do, he makes sure to keep them trained on you, as if you'd disappear if he even looked away from you for just a moment.

"do you want any more recommendations? or..?"

"oh, no no no" chenle shakes his head. "i just—" he pauses, having no idea how to say the words without sounding like some weirdo who totally has a crush on you.

well he is a weirdo who totally has a crush on you, how hypocritical.

"i like listening to you talk".

you blink at his words, noticeably flustered at the way they came out. chenle takes your silence as you judging him, so he's quick to chuckle awkwardly and begin waving dismissing hands. "i didn't mean to say that i know it was weird and stuff—!"

"no no! it wasn't weird i'm just.. i'm not used to being told things like that, you're so unique with your words and i never know how to respond to them".

"oh.."

"yeah".

you click your tongue, and chenle simply stares. oh you affect him so much without doing anything, what is up with you? his ears are burning, he might collapse at the very moment.

what was that kun said again? you'll never get any closure if you don't just tell him how you feel. yeah, he isn't sure if he'll be able to do it.

"can i show you something?"

chenle's breath hitches against his will, he has no idea why he's nervous, why the hell is he nervous? it's just you, it's you, his friend since he was a child, his oldest friend, you probably know him better than he thinks you do.

you wouldn't do anything bad.

"is it terrible?" he raises an eyebrow, and you laugh. your laughter is pretty, so pretty. "well? is it?"

"no, just come here" you beckon chenle over to you with your hand, a hand he almost shies away from, but he can't shy away from you, so he steps closer, following you. he feels like a mind controlled puppet, your a magnet attracting him closer and closer until he presses into you.

you smile as you see chenle in your peripheral vision, your fiddling with something in your fingers. chenle furrows his eyebrows, having no idea what it is, he tries to look over your shoulder, but you quickly block his eyesight, much to his own dismay. "why are you hiding?"

"i'm not hiding! be patient, your highness".

your teasing tone of voice doesn't make it past chenle, but he doesn't stay anything, just keeps his mouth shut. you hum as you turn back to chenle, still fiddling with your fingers as you smile at the crown prince, who is puzzled by what you're doing exactly.

you then open your palm, extending it forward towards chenle, and his eyes widen at what he sees.

"what is..?"

"we— um.. remember that friendship bracelet i made for you when we were ten? the one you broke?"

chenle laughs lightly, his face burning. "yes i remember.."

"well, i kept mine, and because were.. you know, friends again, i remade it for you, if you want it of course!"

chenle stares at you, then he stares at the bracelet in your hand, and he can't resist the urge to smile. you're absolutely adorable, sweet, chenle really really really likes you. his silence makes you anxious, and you want to begin picking your fingers until they bleed.

chenle must realize it, because he immediately laughs, a hearty laugh, a lovely laugh. "y/n, i love it, it's so.. cute i can't— how long did it take you to make this?"

"well i was thinking about it for a while and i just barely finished this last night i just.. i don't know, i missed you, a lot" you say, your words a vomit of adoration, oh you're so adorable. "it was a brash decision really".

"you're so—"—cute—"sweet, really".

you again step closer to chenle, silently asking to have his wrist with the extension of your hand. he doesn't even think before placing his hand into yours, allowing for you to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. it fits perfectly. of course it does, chenle can barely stifle his giggle.

he feels so giddy.

you don't let go of his hand, and chenle doesn't move his hand either. he stares at the indirect act of affection, his hand gently placed upon your palm, a palm that you aren't moving. what are you two doing? what the hell is going on?

"y/n" chenle calls out, his voice barely elevated as he avoids eye contact with you. "what is.. what are we doing?"

"i don't know" you mutter, blinking. you don't even think before taking your free hand and intertwining it with chenle's other free hand, now your holding both of his hands, an action that has chenle's face reddening to amazing heights. "your hands are warm".

chenle simply looks away, basking in the feeling of your fingers laced with his. he likes holding your hand, it just feels right, your fingers intertwined with his, your hands placed on his.

"yours are cold".

the words are nothing but your observations of each other whispered into the air. it's a strangely intimate moment, you two are just staring at each other in the library, your short breaths can be heard in the silence of the huge room around you.

you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, then stare at chenle's. chenle blinks, he sees you, he sees what you're doing, but it doesn't seem like you're trying to be slick, you don't care, you are unashamed in your decision.

he isn't really sure how to feel about that.

you lean closer, much closer than chenle thinks he could ever handle. you give a small smile, and chenle wants to faint. he's holding your hands, your leaning close to him, and you look you want to kiss him.

and he wants to kiss you.

oh he wants to do it so bad.

"may i?" you ask, but you aren't looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming?

he stares like an idiot for so long that he almost looks frozen.

chenle nods wordlessly, but that's not good enough of an answer for you.

"verbal consent, chenle".

chenle wants to pull you into a kiss by force right now.

"yes! yes, you may".

you note his enthusiasm, enthusiasm that makes his face redden, he looks away from you, clearly embarrassed.

you chuckle silently, letting go of his left hand to take his jaw and turn him back towards you. then, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.

it's short, sweet, and ends in pretty much two seconds.

your cheeks are dusted red, and you immediately look away from chenle upon finishing your action. "that was stupid, right? i'm sorry! i don't know why i did that i jus—"

chenle doesn't let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. you let out a small squeak of surprise, clearly not expecting the action, but you quickly relax into the kiss, sighing softly as you let an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer with your hand on his back.

it's.. nice, it feels right, chenle is relaxed. his heart isn't pounding uncomfortably, he doesn't feel that anxious pit in his stomach, his chest isn't tight, he feels like he can breath (ironic, really), and he doesn't want to burst into tears at his circumstances.

he feels good, he feels content.

god, it's always with you isn't it?

"wait wait, hold on" you pull away for air, pressing your forehead against chenle's as you gather your words. you chuckle awkwardly, looking down at the floor instead of at the crown prince in front of you. "sorry, i don't know how to feel about this".

chenle blinks up at you, and all you can see are his pretty eyes staring at you. you fumble through your speech, trying your best to be coherent even with the way he was staring. "i'm just.. i don't know, i have to check up on my heart levels and shit—"

chenle gasps loudly. "language, y/nie".

"you can't just say that after you literally took away my breath you.." you stop in your speech, snickering at the way you're acting, the red on your cheeks doesn't disappear, but chenle thinks he likes it that way.

"y/n" you look up as chenle calls your name again, now completely focused on him. "i.. i don't really know how to say this but i— i like you, okay? like a lot, not even just that i'm in love with you! it's.. complicated".

wow, so much for a smooth confession, chenle.

chenle narrows his eyes at the voice in his mind, it sounds like.. you?

you freeze at the confession, your whole body paralyzed as you try your best to process the words in your head.

"oh".

chenle can't tell how you feel by your tone of voice, but to him, it doesn't sound good.

CHENLE USED TO BE AFRAID OF ASKING HIS FATHER certain questions. he was unpredictable in the sense that chenle never knew how he'd react if he asked him a question as simple as what 1+1 was. when father was alive, chenle feared him, not because he was physically violent or anything, but because he was intimidating. the air temperature would lower whenever he stepped into the room, and the way his voice boomed when he talked was enough to have chenle shivering for weeks.

"father, may i ask you a question?"

"is it a stupid question?"

at thirteen years old, chenle was still as fearful of his father as he was back when he was seven, and he almost wanted to cry the moment his father responded to his question with another question. he swallowed his own spit, a feeling of anxiety immediately settling onto him. "well— i'm not sure.."

his fathers shoulders relaxed, and he hummed. "what is it, chenle?"

"why do i have to get married?"

the question was much more abrupt than chenle wanted it to be, and he clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words escaped his lips. his father stayed silent at the question, which didn't lessen his worries, it worried him much more than it should've.

his father then chuckled, he chuckled, and chenle almost let out a gasp upon seeing the sight. when was the last time he'd seen that happen? the sight was truly one to behold, he was amused, amused!!

"why are you so curious about that? you're way too young to be interested in stuff like marriage".

"i'm not that interested i just— i heard mother say something about it and i.. i don't know! i just want an answer".

his father turned back to him, an unintelligible expression on his face that chenle still doesn't understand even to this day. "let me ask you a question, chenle, do you want to get married?"

the question struck chenle as odd, but judging by his father's smile in the moment, the question was very much needed. the thirteen year old prince blinked, puzzled, but he didn't let the question linger in the air for too long, afraid of upsetting his father with his silence.

"maybe, in the future, when the time is right, with someone who i like, and know is a good.. person to me".

"person?"

chenle nodded, wordless as he tried his best not to shrink under his father's gaze.

"ah, i see".

chenle had no idea where he was trying to go with that question and statement.

"what kind of person?"

chenle was once again speechless at the question, he allowed for his eyes to roam around the room as he scoured his brain for an answer to his father's question. then, he spotted his answer, it was you, giggling with kun about a dumb joke as your mother rummaged through her work bag for something.

you caught his eye in the moment, smiling the sight of him as you waved, mouthing a small hi from where you were across the room.

chenle giggled at the sight, waving as well as he returned your greeting.

unfortunately for him, father noticed everything.

"oh? someone like y/n?"

chenle immediately snapped his head towards his father, beginning to sputter at the assertion from him. "y/n? what do you mean by that?"

his father merely glanced over at you, his lips unconsciously quirking up into a smile. "you seem to like y/n, the two of you are friends right?"

"yes, yeah we are".

"huh" his father clicked his tongue. "if you ever do get to decide who you want to marry in the future, let it be someone like him".

chenle choked on his spit, he had no idea how to respond to that. the words have stuck with him forever, even after father's death, even after his marriage to yinuo was confirmed, the words ring in his head whenever chenle does as much as look at you anymore.

it's been a week, a week, a whole entire seven days, and you have been avoiding chenle like the plague. literally. you see him in the halls and make a break for the nearest door, you catch his eyes randomly and you immediately look away. you don't smile, you don't stop to make small talk, you just turn your back and run away.

did he do something wrong? did you really not return his feelings? (no! that can't be true! why would you kiss him back if you didn't feel at least something for him?). chenle has no idea why you're suddenly avoiding him, but you are, and he has to figure out why.

so, when chenle finishes having a totally fun conversation with his mother, he makes a beeline towards your office, he knows your there, because you aren't anywhere else during the day usually. you don't visit your mother on tuesdays, chenle knows that very well.

he stops in front of the door of your office, a sudden anxious feeling taking over him. he raises his fist to knock, but then lets it fall, he instead turns the knob and opens the door to your office.

you don't perk up immediately at the sound of the door opening, mainly because your back is turned and your focused on cleaning up a rubbing alcohol spill. chenle doesn't say anything, the silence in the room practically swallowing him whole.

you still don't look back, simply humming. "did you leave something here, kun? are you going to nag me about cuts again?"

chenle keeps silent.

when you finally do turn back to look at chenle, expecting kun, you pause, an unreadable expression crossing your face. you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "hi, your highness".

chenle's jaw clenches, what's with the sudden switch up? why aren't you calling him by his name anymore?

"hi, y/n".

another uncomfortable silence takes over the room, and chenle wants to die in that very moment. there's no playful banter, there's no snickering, you two aren't talking, this is one of the strangest things to ever happen to the both of you in your whole entire friendship.

you two always talk, even if it's just small talk, this random silence makes chenle anxious.

"did i do something wrong?"

judging by your reaction, that wasn't the question to ask. you simply chuckle, going back over to the spilled rubbing alcohol and finishing up with your business. "no".

"so what happened?"

"nothing happened".

"it doesn't seem that way, you've been avoiding me ever since.." chenle looks down at the floor, picking at his nails as he tries not to stare at you. "you know".

you hum, finally turning back to chenle again with the intention of making eye contact. chenle looks over at you, but not directly in your eyes, just at your face. "we can't, chenle".

"what?"

"we can't be.. we just can't, chenle".

chenle's eyebrows furrow. "you could at least elaborate on that".

"you know what i'm talking about, chenle" you grit your teeth, but you aren't frustrated by chenle, no, you seem frustrated by yourself. "you're getting married soon and i'm.. i'm nothing like you, this isn't right—"

"what makes you think that?" chenle cuts in, what is wrong with you? what the hell is wrong with you? is that really what you think? he's about to kill you. "are you embarrassed?"

"embarrassed? what? no! no! i'm literally the one who offered to kiss you i just.." you cover your face with your hand, letting a distressed groan escape your lips. "i don't want to be the reason everything goes wrong for you".

"is that really how you feel? is that really how you think i feel..?"

"chenle" you begin softly, your tone of voice making chenle's stomach flip. you close your eyes and clasping your own hands together. "i do like you too, i— love you, even, but we just can't be together".

oh. that's what it's about.

chenle sucks in a breath, he wants to shout at you, not because your making him mad, but because your right, and he knows it. he wants— no, he needs to break something, throw something against the wall in frustration, break a glass window. just anything to keep himself from having a full on mental breakdown from your very words.

"of course you would say that".

you scoff at his petty tone, but you sound more disappointed than frustrated. "your acting like i'm doing this on purpose, if things were different then maybe—"

"why can't we make it work now? huh? why does it have to be if things were different?"

"because you're getting married chenle! you— you're going to become king and i don't want to hold this over your head".

"you're so.. stupid! how is that all you've gotten from this situation?" now chenle is getting desperate, he wants you to change your mind, even if he knows it's unlikely that will actually ever happen. "you're not holding anything over my head and you're not going to make anything go wrong, i don't get it!"

"i'm being realistic.."

"how is that realistic?"

"because it's better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can't afford to risk my position because someone thinks you're cheating on your fiancée with me".

your words sting, but they don't sting chenle, they sting you. your chest hurts, so you simply shake your head, sighing in defeat. your arms drop to your side and you turn away from chenle, gritting your teeth.

all chenle can do is give you a look of sympathy. "y/n—"

"chenle, leave it alone" you snap, yet you don't come off as annoyed, more upset. "i'd prefer if you'd leave".

you really just need to think, you just need to peacefully gather your thoughts without chenle in the room.

chenle wants to argue with you, to walk forward and take you by your arm, to grab you by your face and kiss you senselessly whilst telling you that he doesn't care about what anyone thinks.

but chenle obeys your wish, turning around and leaving the room.

KUN KNOWS CHENLE ALL TOO WELL AT THIS point that the younger is convinced that he's a mind reader. from his narrowed eyes to his silent snickers, he can always tell what chenle's feeling before chenle himself even does. back when they were younger, chenle assumed kun had to be some sort of supernatural being, possessing some kind of telepathic power or something, but as he's grown up, he realizes the older is just that observent.

case in point: chenle's current attitude.

"why do you keep sulking? they teach you not to do that at like.. age ten?"

kun's comment doesn't receive it's usual rebuttal from chenle, it simply gets silence, silence that kun hums at. he resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing beside the stubborn crown prince. "okay, tell me what happened".

"what?"

"there's no use in pretending that you don't know what i'm talking about, chenle, what happened?"

kun has always been assertive in this sense, chenle finds his power to be absolutely shocking. maybe, in another universe, their roles are reversed, kun would make a better ruler than chenle ever could anyway.

"i'm an idiot, kun".

the statement results in kun letting out a strange sound, a sound of complete confusion. he then raises an eyebrow, one that makes chenle want to dig a hole and die in it forever. "what is that supposed to mean?"

chenle scowls, covering his face with his hands as he resists the urge to claw his own eyes out. he lets out a groan as your face flashes in his mind, oh he is so stupid, why couldn't he just be fearless? why does he have to be such a coward?

why couldn't he be brave for you?

"i— god, i confessed to y/n but i even managed to mess that up and now we're on bad terms.."

kun goes through seven expression changes as he processes the information. "what? what are you saying?"

"he just told me the situation like how it is" he grits his teeth, looking away from the older. "we can't be together no matter how much we want to, i'm getting married and he can't risk losing his job and.. i have to go through with the marriage".

"who says that?"

"my mother, kun" chenle sighs, feeling as if he just got punched in the gut. "i don't want to put too much on her shoulders, a marriage like this has been planned for me for who knows how long and she's clearly not her best considering father didn't pass that long ago and.." a groan leaves his lips, a sour taste in his mouth. "this will make her happy, i just want her to be happy".

kun stares in silence, clicking his tongue. "have you ever tried to prioritize your happiness?"

chenle sighs. "we're not starting this again kun—"

"no, we are going to start this again, you have to think about if you're happy before ever going through with a marriage, marriage is a legally binding thing! you're gonna be in a union with this woman until you die! are you really happy with that?"

chenle opens his mouth to speak again, but it falls shut. he can't really respond to that. 

all of his life he grew to believe that he'd eventually get used to arranged marriages and the idea of having to warm up to his partner. all royalty have to do it, it's just apart of the process. heck, chenle is the result of an arranged marriage himself, why would he ever challenge it when it was always the most likely outcome?

it's different because it's you. chenle can't possibly think about going through this marriage at all now that he's realized how he truly feels for you, it's not right, he shouldn't, he can't.

you're a terrible liar, chenle. at the end of the day, you will go through with this marriage, it's all too risky to not.

"i.. no, i'm not" chenle finally responds, his voice a mix of disgusted and frustrated. "i just— i always thought it was supposed to be this way, i don't want to just.. do it differently".

"well why not?"

"because this is for the good of my future, for yinuo, for my mother, to test if i can live up to the ruler my father was".

chenle bites his inner cheek, suddenly feeling nauseous. he closes his eyes, not wanting to face kun's gaze.

the older simply sighs. "i can't make you do anything you don't want to, chenle, but don't make a decision you know is going to leave you unhappy, i'd hate for you to be stuck in an uncomfortable position for the rest of your life".

and with that, kun turns and walks out of the room. chenle doesn't open his eyes until he knows kun has left the room.

the words ring in his head all day.

WHEN CHENLE WAS ELEVEN, YOU TAUGHT HIM about the several constellations that appear in the night sky. you taught him their names, how they form, what they represented, and your thoughts on them. you always had a thing for those luminous balls of gas in the sky, something about them always left you so intrigued, waiting for the next time they would show up so you could drag chenle out in the middle of the night to see them with you.

tonight, andromeda is in the sky.

it's never been a favorite of yours, more one of chenle's favorites, but he knows you'll be outside, staring at the aligned stars in the sky. he takes kun's words into account, and wishes his mother a good night before turning on his heel to make his way towards a familiar place of comfort.

the rose garden, of course.

the best thing about the rose garden is that it has the cool glass roof you can see the sky through. it was an addition that was only made a few years ago, one last hurrah for mrs. qian before her eventual retirement.

chenle spent a lot of time reading about constellations, all the information he learned he would relay to you. he loved seeing how interested you were in the information you already didn't know, your eyes would widen comically and then they would light up.

constellations have always been special to me, you told chenle once. they remind me of dad, he's the one who taught me about them, i like to think that he's now become apart of cygnus.

chenle was surprised by your way of grieving, but he couldn't exactly blame you. you liked to think your father became one with the stars, and you'd always be especially excited when cygnus appeared in the sky.

when chenle steps into the rose garden, he isn't surprised to see you already there, lips parted in surprise as you stare up at the sky through the glass rooftop. you don't notice him immediately, but when you do, you smile. "hi".

chenle bites down on his bottom lip, but he steps forward anyway. "hi".

you put your head down, then turn to chenle with an unreadable expression on your face. "i missed you".

chenle allows for himself to lightly chuckle at the fact. "you're the one whose been ignoring me all this time".

your shoulder slump, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels. "i do realize that was pretty.. rude of me, i just needed time to think, i was probably going to have a breakdown if i didn't collect my thoughts".

chenle nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. an uncomfortable silence passes through the air in the room, and you glance up again to examine andromeda once again.

"i'm sorry".

you snap your head over at chenle. "for what?"

"for yelling, and for calling you stupid" chenle looks away from you, ashamed of himself. "you were just being realistic and i was.. i wasn't thinking clearly, like an idiot".

"don't say that" your voice is so soft, it probably feels like clouds. "i get where you're coming from, just saying those words made me sick.." you pinch the bridge of her nose, and chenle can't stop his head from turning so that he can stare at you. oh your side profile is so pretty, chenle could admire it for hours. "i'm sorry, chenle, you probably felt like your feelings didn't matter in the moment and that was so terrible of me to do, romantic feelings or not, you're my friend, and i care about how you feel, i shouldn't have dismissed you like that".

chenle can't resist the urge to smile, his lips turn up much too quickly, but of course they do, because it's you, it's always with you. chenle has never felt such a way for another human being in his life, but he guesses your whole relationship must've been planned by the universe or something.

"you're so.. stupid" chenle reiterates, but it's said much more affectionately than the last time. "you have always considered my feelings, you are literally one of the sweetest people i know, don't apologize for thinking about yourself for once, your job is much more important than our.. relationship thing".

you pause at the words, shaking your head as a small snicker falls from your lips. "i love you, chenle".

oh.

if chenle didn't have any self control, he would've done a trust fall right then and there. he wants to faint onto the floor and never get up. hearing the words from you makes him exceptionally giddy, you make him happy, you make him so happy, oh chenle is so glad to have you in his life.

happy ending or not, at least he finally knows what you feel for him.

"i love you too" he whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat, the shock doesn't wear off that quickly, unfortunately. you reach over for his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. it feels so right, chenle could just be like this forever, and everything would be fine.

as long as he's with you, everything will be fine.

you hum at the response, a red color dusting your cheeks. you could just barely stifle your giggle, and it's simply amazing to chenle. you're just as giddy about him as he is about you.

oh chenle loves you so much.

you look up at the sky once again, eyes lighting up at the sight of the aligned stars. "andromeda has always been your favorite, right?"

chenle wants to faint, you remembered. "yeah".

you smile, your smile is beautiful.

you're a desperate man, zhong chenle.

he can't exactly disagree with that.

"you have good taste".

"you flatter me too much".

you finally looks back down, snickering as you squeeze chenle's hands. you lean forward and press a kiss to chenle's lips, it's simply a peck, but chenle loves it. "you deserve it".

chenle wants to squeal like a teenage girl with a crush, you're so cute, you're so adorable, he loves you, he loves you so much.

maybe you can't make it work now, not in this universe at least, but there could be another universe, another timeline where it does work, where it doesn't have to end like this.

chenle is upset it can't be this universe, but this is just how life works. knowing that he can't change his fate, knowing that he will go through with this marriage, knowing that he probably has no true shot with you is all upsetting, but he'll learn how to deal with it, at least you're still by his side.

at least your still in his life, he's grateful for that.

and when he sees you giggle once again, his heart warms. as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

[sable-skies]

thought abt an au i doodled up months ago but never fully explored, so here's some concept designs for that. im gonna ramble about it now

+ height comparison under the keep reading!

god okay i gotta admit: i, unfortunately, kinda love game of thrones. truthfully i dont care for the sex and inc*st part of the show, but i really enjoy the interconnected weaving plot lines, drama, and utter bullshit that happens in that show. its amazing, i love it, its so fucking stupid. so earlier this year i doodled up some ideas for a game of thrones inspired post-totk au. those are here, and here!

I then dropped it and didnt return to it until now, because i started season 2 of house of the dragon and yknow. why not.

as for actual details about the au: i said in the past it was a got-loz au, but im gonna go ahead and say that i misspoke then because i mean more like, post-totk/loz au INSPIRED by got, because i would never want to do a 1-to-1 au of that god awful show. i mostly think exploring a hyrule that is peaceful, but secretly on the brink of civil chaos and how bad humanity could truly get would be really fun to explore!

i struggled to pick a single role for link to have in such an au, so i said fuck it and divided him up into four parts, in universe the hero's spirit has been split amongst four brothers. to nod towards this, and because i'm cheeky as hell, the first letters of each of their names spells link. Laurent, Irving, Nymos, and Kiran. (im so fucking funny (<- is not funny))

they're all noble born to Arthur Hearth, current lord of House Hearth which basically controls and sits on the Great Plateau, and their mother was Eyla, a member of the Sheikah from Kakariko Village who unfortunately passed away shortly after Kiran was born. Arthur btw is named after the King Arthur legends from Europe, as those served as inspiration for the series in general!

I think a plot would follow them all after the death of their father and how they cope with it and move forward, and how they combat suddenly being labeled traitors to the kingdom for their father's acclaimed crimes.

this is getting long, so I'll do some misc bullet points next on their personalities:

Laurent, as the oldest, had to mature pretty quickly after the death of their mother, Eyla. Which has caused him to grow protective of his younger brothers almost to an overbearing degree. He gets nervous when they're not home, which sucks because Irving is a knight, Nymos studies in Kakariko often, and Kiran wants to explore the world via the survey team. Other then that, he's responsible, quite serious in most situations, and still very kind hearted. After his father's death he starts to spiral into a rage-filled depression, determined to get his brothers back and make the king pay for killing his father.

Irving is the most middle child ever. Due to Laurent being in line for lord of their house and is never gonna back down from that, he sought his own purpose in being a royal knight / royal guardsman / kingsguard. It hasn't really worked out well for him honestly, his higher ups hate him for being Arthur's son, seemingly so naturally talented in combat, and charismatic amongst the ranks that some knights ignore their orders just to follow Irving's instead. So as punishment he's been assigned as the former princess Zelda's bodyguard / retainer. While it disappointed him to not serve his full duties at first, he's come to accept it and treats her kindly. He's proud, a little over-confident, just, and secretly a bleeding heart. After the death of their father, he's forced to choose between his family and Zelda, and knowing that Zelda will most likely die without him, he stays with her.

Nymos, oh poor fucking Nymos dude. As a child he fell into the depths and somehow survived, which was fine, but then he came across a patch of gloom that seemingly never faded, and ever since he's been cursed with doomed visions of the future and a talent for magic. No one believes him about the lingering gloom, and claims that he simply has PTSD from the incident in general, but he knows what he saw. He's sought out magical-based physical therapy in Kakariko because of this, and he's pretty much regarded as a local there. He's quiet, a bit withdrawn, pessimistic, but has a strong sense of justice and genuinely wants the best for those around him, even if he doesn't know how to say it properly. When Laurent and Irving are away, he's the one looking after Kiran and keeping him safe. When his father dies, he immediately starts to investigate the current monarchy for signs of dark magic tampering, which leads him down a rabbit hole he never even knew existed, all the while he's being tormented by visions of his brother dying gruesome and horrible deaths. he's forever an internal nervous WRECK

Kiran!! The baby!! Might be the most dangerous brother of the four, but we'll cover that later. As the resident youngest sibling he's naturally gotten away with pretty much everything and anything, because who can say no to those big baby blues. Thankfully he's not actually that destructive or ill-mannered, but he isn't above pulling a prank on someone for the fun of it. He yearns to leave home and explore the vast continent of Hyrule though, and shortly before everything goes wrong he's accepted into the Survey Team and gets to enjoy it for a bit. He's excitable, energetic, optimistic, and somewhat a handful (get this teen a child leash please) but he means well and is determined to get whatever is on his mind done and finished. He's the last to be told his father is dead as his team didn't tell him about the incident until suddenly there's a group of bandits attacking them and demanding they had Kiran over for ransom. Kiran goes willingly of course, as he doesn't want his team members to get hurt. He later falls into the depths and survives via the sail cloth around his shoulders and meets a strange little fox he calls Todd.

I have so many notes in my head about these guys but again, i'll shut up for now :] here are the heights!

btw; they're all based on a previous incarnation of link and a got character, if you figure it out I'll shake ur hand.

[crybyemissamericanpie]

Hows America? - Felix Catton x Olivers sister!reader (fluff)

Hows America? - Felix Catton x Olivers sister!reader (fluff)

This is a bit shorter than i expected but whatever

TW:fluff,cursing,under the influence,oliver being a creep

“Oh!Oliver!”Olivers mothers voice rings up as she opens the door with a big smile eyeing between the tall boy and her son”Praise your alive”She continuous,with a small laugh”i didnt recognize you”She says as she hugs her son,the boy next to oliver watching this unfold,a bit confused

“happy birthday,darling”Olivers mom whispers,as she hugs oliver tightly as if he would want to run away,which he wanted to,she looks at the other boy as she loosens the hug”you must be Felix,so nice to meet you!”She says with a smile,as she holds out a hand for him,felix gives her a small smile

Pamela,Olivers mom looks at Oliver”your fathers in the garden”she smiles”his father?”Felixs furrows his eyebrows as he looks at oliver than pamela”yeah”she laughs a bit”hes been pacing around all morning,he's been so excited!”She says with a small nod,as she backs into the house”come in!come in”Pamela gestures at the boys”y/n also came home from america!she’ll be out the shower anytime”Pamela smiles at Oliver and the jogs a bit in the hallway”Jeff!”

“y/n”Felix repeats the name,as he stares at oliver like he was about to break him in half”my sister”Oliver says quietly as he stares at his shoes in shame,felix lets out a huff and walks into the house,oliver following behind him

-

“top scholar?god,hes so modest!”Felix laughs a little,playing along with olivers parents,as he looks at oliver,who was almost entirely curled up into a bowl on his seat.

Footsteps could be heard down the stairs,and oliver closed his eyes,making felix and olivers parents turn their head to “yn!your brother and his friend are here!”Pamela says,with a small.she smiles as she makes eye contact with felix,and he returns that smile”happy birthday,ollie”She speaks up,playfully, as she stares at oliver,while walking to the couch next to felixs,chair

Pamela smiles as she sees that y/n has caught felixs attention as his gaze does not leave her as she sits down on to the couch”im felix”Felixs smiles as he puts out his hand”y/n”she says as she shakes his hand,then let go and lean against the back of the couch”she just came back from new haven,where she studies in yale-”Pamela starts with a smile but get cut off”mom!”Y/n chuckles

“im sorry im just..so proud of my kiddo’s”She says,as she looks at y/n and oliver”its okay,id be proud of them too”felix says with a smile,oliver straightens up and gets up”i gotta use the bathroom”He humbles as he makes his way upstairs,too quick for anybody to react.Pamela and jeff looks at each other”well make you guys lunch alright”She say getting up from the couch and so does jeff”alright,thank you”Felix says a he straightens up in his seat and pamela and jeff leave into the kitchen

silence fills the living room between Felix and y/n,hte only sound that could be heard was them breathing,felix starts after a while”i didnt know that oli had a sister”his voice was neutral but there was a small hint of betrayal about his friend lying about everything as he speaks ,his voice made y/n catch her attention,she chuckles a bit”2 sisters actually”she corrects him,a small smile lingering on her lips.Felix's eyebrows raise”oh!where is the other one?”he asks”she is in france with her husband and kids”She replies,her eyes traveling along felixs face,a bit”thats cool…”felix says a bit lost at words,he usually doesnt feel this awkward around others,and silence fills the two of them again

this time y/n was the one breaking the silence”oli is a bit of a liar”she humbles under her breath as she crosses her leg over the other,felix chuckles”yeah,he is one”they didnt need to speak more about it,y/n knew that oliver lied about his past or whatever to felix,she knows her brother well”how's america?”

-

They decided to stay for dinner too,talking the whole afternoon about whatever,olivers parents exposing olivers lies every 5 minutes.Oliver definitely went to the toilet 15 times just that dinner,felix wanted to leave but he found y/n interesting,and honestly,really fucking attractive,maybe it was the too much wine that felix drank but he aint leaving under he gets what he wants 

“this is my teen bedroom”y/n says as she closes the door behind felix”wow”felix chukles out as he stares at the britney spears posters all over the walls”its not that funny,shes a queen” she fights back as she goes into the middle of the room,the half broken lamp,barely working

“well you did treat her like on,youve always been in the american media,you american girl"Felix snarks out gigglyas she stands infront of y/n,his eyes scanning her face as if he would need to memorize every little detail of her face or hell die"oh shut up"she humblesrolling her eyes.

Felixs eyes snap to the pink bikini on the desk behind her,and she follows her eyes and look behind herself“i was kind of a slut”she chuckles out,making felixs gaze fall back on to her

“are you still are?..”felixs asks a bit playfully,as he furrowed his eyebrows at her”not really” she replies,folding her arms over one another,as he looks up at felix”so..are you like engaged?” Felix ask shaking his head a bit”no...no god no”she chuckles out and so does felix

“so your single”Felix asks making sure first”yeah”she replies maybe a bit too quickly”so this okay?”Felix puts a hand on her waist and as she doesnt pull away he leans in and kisses her,their lips melting together as 2 puzzle pieces,y/n’s hand makes her way to his hair,grabbing softly his hair,as he licks the bottom of her lips,asking for entry and she lets him

their bodies pressed together as felixs hands hungrily travel across y/ns body,their tongues dancing together,soft whimpers leaving her mouth- until there was a loud door squeaking behind felix,making them break away from the kiss

“what the fuck dude!”Y/n steps away from felix,as she stares at Oliver in the open door

[evilfrogcereal29]

Hubby!Gromsko x GN!reader

Pspspspsps gromsko enjoyers, here's your food.

No fr tho there is sooo little content for the grommie-guy, even tho im not super confident on how I write him yet, I wanna give all the gromsko lover's somethin to enjoy. In my mind he's like a cross between a dilf and a slightly more intelligent himbo...so.. hope you like that :) enjoy!!

‼️TWs‼️: google translated polish, and a bit of nsfw (but its pretty vanilla), wife being used as a GN term, pregnancy & fears of loosing baby. OH and not a tw but Swagger appears in this so YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

- hubby Gromsko who, since he grew up in a religious, conservative, and traditional polish household, still believes in 'roles' in marriage.

- And by that I mean, he's the husband of the house, and REGARDLESS of your gender, you're his 'wife'. He calls you such in polish and english. You're a man, you say? a man even taller and bulkier than him? No issue. You're his malewife. Put on an apron over that hunky body of yours and swing your hips side to side in the kitchen while making him dinner, and Gromsko will go WILDDDD.

- He understands times have changed though, and does his part around the home when he's not deployed, his own laundry is *not* one of these things. Sorry.

- He lets it pile up, its his worst habit and red flag.

- Too many Dishes? Cleaned. You don't want to cook? no worry kochanie, let him handle it. He wil gladly pass chores onto himself, that's what a good husband does! (As long as its not laundry!)

- He loves showing you off, showing everyone that you're his partner, and soooo much PDA. He's so proud of you, of your home together, of everything. He is a proud man.

- Please never mistake this pride for egotism or being boastful, he is deeply grateful for you. And will gladly step back to let you shine, as much as he always wants to be your strongest, and fight every battle for you, he knows you're entirely capable on your own, but sometimes he forgets and has to remind himself of that, or you have to remind him yourself. He's always flustered after, muttering lots of apologies and speading kisses all over your face.

- Will introduce himself to your friends as "(y/n)'s husband". Will end each introduction of your name to his friend's with "my beautiful/handsome wife."

- when you took his last name in marrige and used it verbally for the first time his heart absolutely melted. For the first week before and after your wedding, he muttered it to himself in private, your first and (new) last name. His cheeks red every single time.

- He used to be ashamed of his real name, it was stereotypically Polish, most people without a slavic tongue couldn't pronounce it right, but when you took it? He wished he could tell the whole world his last name, because it was also your's.

- speaking of wedding...ooooh this man will not let you two have a small wedding, sorry❤️‍🩹

- Within a week of gromsko proposing to you, he was already dicussing the wedding plans, and he was dead set on having as traditional of a wedding as you two could for your lifestyle. He would take off as much time as he needs from work for this, he assures you of that constantly. Work came second to you, thats how you knew you were special.

- Meeting his family at an engagement ceremony is splendid no matter if you show up with a big family, no family, or any amount in between. They're just happy their słonko finally found himself a partner, believing he'd be a 'hermit' forever. They remind you of this *often*, usually to your future husband's dismay.

- He invited everyone from his home town to the wedding. Oh boy. And you bet every single person brought gifts, even the ones who couldn't make it sent some.

- if you are wearing a dress and/or makeup, momsko (gromsko's mother) will be there. You don't need to order a makeup and hair styalist, she WILL do it. She loves you to DEATH, and she also knows what her son loves aesthetically in a partner, she's very attentive like that.

- Dadsko (gromsko's dad lmao) teaching you how to tie a bowtie if you're wearing a suit. Don't be embarrassed, he just finished showing his own son how to tie one an hour ago in the changing room, you two knuckleheads are definitely meant for eachother, he's sure of that☺️

- Gromsko doesn't get to see you til you're walking down the isle, and if only you could take a picture with your mind...

- The look on his face is so pure, filled with admiration. Eyes big and shining, staring at you like you descended from the heavens. He loves you, he really does. More than words in english or polish can describe. He has to stop himself from saying "I do" right then and there. He litteraly started crying!! His best man and cousin, Roland, snickers and uses the handkerchief in his pocket to wipe his cousin's tears. "Jesteś takim dużym dzieckiem, Sobie." He teases, But he also understands that this is a huge day for Gromsko, and he would probably cry too if a charming thing like you wanted anything to do with rough doggish men like them, men that have been hardened by the atrocities of war.

- You were NOT made aware of the fact that rice and barley would be thrown over you two as you finished your vows and 'I do's. Gromsko chuckled, pulling you into a passionate kiss as it was thrown over you by guests and rained down like... Well, rain, over you two, lips still locked.

- After the ceremony, there is little time for dawdle as everyone races to the dance floor. And idc who you are, or how much of a party animal you claim to be or not, you’re never been to one quite like this. Or with quite as much alcohol as this...

- You and Gromsko get the first dance, of course. If you can’t dance that’s just fine, he assures you of it. His arm wrapped snuggly around the back of your waist. He moved himself and you with such purpose, such grace. You didn’t know he could dance like this.

- What he doesn’t tell you is that he practiced everyday alone in the mirror for nearly a month, memorizing the feeling of each movement, arms wrapped around nothing as he pretended what it would feel like to hold you during this dance, he would not fail this. And he didn't. Not a foot out of place.

- It’s SO lively, everyone is dancing, even the little ones and elderly are grooving at their own pace (and with the help of other family members).

- For your honey-moon, you went on a month-long cruise ship around the Baltic Sea. Stopping at some countries here and there, but most of your days were spent lazily tangled, nude, in blankets together inside the secrecy of the cabins’ rooms. And oh yes. Lots, and LOTS of sex. Unlike some of his fellow soldiers, he can go for a LONGGGG time. You definitely get a few noise complaints from the people above and to the sides of you. But Gromsko scoffs them off, as if they just don’t under how much you two are in love.

- He can be a bit hardheaded with some things, especially since he’s such a confident man, occasionally, he finds himself confidently WRONG. Like the time he got into an argument with a guy he caught leaving your shared house as he arrived home, Gromsko was red in the face. Throwing accusation after accusation at the man, saying that if he hurt you, or touched a hair on your body or tried to fuck you, he'd kill his family. Geeze, thank god he didn't overreact or anything.....😓

- Not only was the man 1- your childhood best friend, who's known you almost two decades before you ever met Gromsko, but he's also, 2- GAY/STRAIGHT!! (Whatever the opposite of ur relationship is, straight -> gay, gay -> straight) he couldn't even be interested in you! When you explained this to Gromsko in front of a very angry looking friend, he was an apologetic mess. Twiddling with his fingers like a kid who got caught with the cookie jar.

- If he does not have to wear certain clothes. He won’t. Firm believer this man is a ‘home is we’re the pants are not’ kind of man. Walks around the house in only boxers until you remind him he lives with other people (he still doesn’t understand tho, it’s just you, don’t you want to see him, kochanie? Maybe if he flexes his bare muscles just a little harder, you’ll forget why you were so angry with him in the first place ;])

- Sleeps completely in the nude, he’s similar to that of a sleeping bear, a sleeping TEDDY bear that is.

- Will Unconsciously pull you into a hug during his sleep, sorry, you’re now trapped in his beefy arms. And don’t even think about waking him up, he becomes a grumpy grumbling mess, too hazy to understand you, so I hope you enjoy waiting in his big strong arms til morning!

- you can't stay mad at him. He gets like an anxious puppy. Nudging at your side, whining and asking what he did wrong and using every sweet name in polish he could think of.

- He wears sandals and socks.

- Has a man cave, I just know it. Its actually pretty damn clean, but he watches football (soccer) and Occasionally plays games on his xbox (not a gamer, just dabbles in some stuff, idk why but I imagine he plays mostly stardew valley & Deep Rock Galactic) in there.

- Him and Roland secretly meet with eachother, even though there's a serious conflict of interest in doing so, and being caught would probably get them both booted from their respective PMCs, or worse.

- Still, when they are together its like neither of them ever joined the military in the first place. Their mind is anywhere but.

- Gromsko talks Roland's ear off about you, and don't get Roland wrong he loves you as a cousin-in-law, you're a sweetheart and make his cousin happy, but damn, he really doesn't want to know every single detail of your life, its a bit weird, yeah?

- He has to remind Gromsko this, as well as to not overshare in general. I feel like Gromsko does it out of over-excitment/love. Good thing happens/he think of good thing -> he instantly wants to tell someone, thats just how his brain works. thankfully he's not just... Telling strangers things, but his mother knows practically every aspect about your lives because he calls her every night to tell her. He's a mama's boy don't be mean💔

- His mama taught him most of the stuff he knows. He spent more time with her as she stayed home as tended to the kids, while his father worked long days. His mother taught him how to sew, and bake, play the piano, and so much more. Those moments are some of his most cherished. He loves his mom so much.

- Probably has a tattoo of her, her name, or some memoir to her on his body, and maybe one of his dad too

- I don't think they hate eachother, I just think his dad was a bit hard on him cause he had the "you're a man, act like it" mentality for everything, and that only pushed Sobiesław away, but they're closer now, things are better between them.

- Really good at home maintenance but NOT electricity... Please don't ever let him attempt to fix anything relating to electricity AGAIN.

- Loves making you Polish traditional meals, and even moreso when he see's the sparks fly in your eyes as you find something in particular you really like, you can bet he'll be making you that dish at least once a week now.

- He is actually like... Not very kinky. He's pretty vanilla, he likes praise and has maybe a smidge of a breeding kink, but sex for him is mostly just about the passion, he just gets off to seeing how good he and only he makes you feel.

- Oh god oh god oh GOD don't get me started on pregnancy and this man. If you're afab(or if you want mpreg by all means be my guest) he's getting you pregnant. Period. I already belive Gromsko came from a big family, like he's 1, of 7 other brothers and sisters. And that definitely impacts the number of kids he wants, he knows its unrealistic, especially with his job, to have as many with you, as his mother had (also he would never make you have that many OW, THE STRAIN ON YOUR BODY!!) But he would want at least 2-4 kids.

- Please god let this man have daughters PLEASE🛐 he would love a son just as equally but the TEAPARTIES WOULD GO SO FUCKING HARD🗣🗣🗣 he got the fairy princess dress on, with the diamond tiara, and you know fosho that he's bringing mrs. Precious (a stuffed rabbit) to the party as well.

- Definitely the dad who tries to get his kids into sports/athletics young, but if it doesn't stick he wouldn't force it.

- When you revealed your first pregnancy to him he dropped the dishes he was cleaning at the time, shattering them, and nearly dropped you too while scooping you up joyfully. Cheering and exclaiming,

- "och, kochanie, kochanie, sprawiłeś, że jestem najszczęśliwszym mężczyzną na świecie!" He exclaims, now that Roland wasn't around, his tears freefell. He didn't know where he should be looking, your face, or your stomach, now containing a future precious life.

- If he wasn't handsy before he is when you're pregnant, hands always on your belly even before it started growing, rubbing, talking, gentle tapping. You have to explain to him that the kicking won't start til at least 3 and a half months.

- He's intially dissapointed, but he counts the days, and then once the 3 month mark passes he's back to hands on.

- The day the baby makes it's first kick he had his hands there, you were shocked too. And Gromsko even moreso, eyes lighting up. Someone could almost believe he was the one pregnant, if it wasn't for the fact *you* were the one with the bulging belly. He got so emotional whenever's your baby made any major developments. Which is honestly so sweet. He cried again when you showed him the ultrasound, and put the grey and black image in his wallet.

- Tells everyone he knows about his baby the same way he did for you, and still continues to.

- He somehow loves you even more, now that you're carrying his offspring he's even more protective and guarding. He takes more and more time off work despite you urging him, assuring its ok. He mostly takes over the chores and housework, encouraging you to rest, stay stress-free, and eat a lot.

- This becomes a very strange and stressful time for him, as well as yourself. Maybe its your hormones effecting and rubbing off on him, but he genuinely becomes so... Feral? So primal? He holds you tighter, kisses you longer, his fingers dig into your waist possesively when he grabs you from behind, he has to stop himself in your mid and late terms from bending you over the counter and fucking you while playing with your swollen tits, because he's nervous that sex will hurt the baby. But he craves you, every inch of you. You fill the empty spaces in his mind. If theres nothing better to think about, he's thinking about you, about the baby.

- He starts having nightmares about loosing you, and he wakes up in a cold sweat and has to shake you awake, asking if you and the baby are ok. He knows its just his worries getting the best of him. But if he somehow failed his duty and lost you and the baby.... he just couldn't ever go on. Couldn't live in this world that's lacking two less angels..

- "Babies take a lot of energy, you need this Moja miłość, open wide." he coos, spoonfeeding you a homemade soup. Oh yes, he'll feed you too. If you snap at him and tell him to let you care for yourself he will, but he will still feel he need to monitor everything.

- He is not a perfect man, by any means, but by god, does he worship the ground you walk on. You gave him everything he could have every wanted and more, and he will do everything in his power to bring you everlasting joy. You don't even have to ask, lalka.

Tysm for reading I hope u enjoyed, I wanted to go into more detail about the baby but then I realized that kinds of its own thing, so yeah, maybe look out for dad!gromsko hcs one day :3 but tysm for reading these! I'm on a Krueger binge rn so I'll probably start posting more about him, but hot men lurk around every corner so we'll see!

Bonus:

I randomly mentally steered off and started writing neurodivergent hcs for Gromsko and didn't wanna get rid of them so here they are as a fun extra :D

- Gromsko but he happy stims :)

- Gromsko but he nervous stims :(

- ADHD Gromsko but he's mostly hyperactive type instead of initentive or combination :>

- Never medicated, wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. But it should've been obvious since like, the 1st-2nd grade.

- Restless leg syndrome havin' ass (so me, he's me😓)

- I feel like he's the type to carry a fidget toy on him, a stress ball to squeeze, or if trying to be more subtle, a pen to click.

[bardicious]

In my random thoughts of Jim today, I looked up memory alpha to see how old Jim was when he was in Tarsus (13! Baby!) and it said,

"By 2246, he was living on Tarsus IV, as his father George moved there. During his time on Tarsus IV, the planet was undergoing a food crisis that was starving the colony, which consisted of eight thousand people."

Which I found strange. 1. Cause I don't remember seeing this there before. 2. My impression was Jim was alone on Tarsus, don't know why or how - maybe visiting someone, but alone. Specifically because the implication is Jim and his rag tag team of child survivors had to have survived together, and Kodos would have needed some time to run and set up a fake dead body. Though the ships no doubt came very soon after the colonists were killed.

I guess I could see George Sr. dying there, but I doubt Sam or Winona (as apparently some Discovery novel said) were there. Because, again? Why would Jim go to the gathering that killed 4000 colonists alone? Seems like something his parents would be wary about given the circumstances. So Jim and George could have gone together, and George may have died saving his son, but... Im not sure I got the impression George was dead yet in SNW. It seemed as if Sam was specifically upset that Jim was following in their father's footsteps and doing insanely well. Which, I suppose, he could have been upset in memory of his father, rather than worried about his father's opinions as an adult.

Additionally, I think Sam would be more proud of his given name (George) if his father was already dead and died honorably, and not try to distance himself from the namesake like he has.

Honestly, I don't know where this information of George Sr. being there is from and it's starting to sound like beta canon to me. 🤔(If someone has any info on this, I would appreciate a reply!! Thank you!)

[hwangjins00]

Johnny Lawrence and the self-fulfilling prophecy

so i've been thinking about this for a while and also because s6p1 just came out but i think that johnny is one of the best examples of a self-fulfilling prophecy in ck.

SO we've seen multiple times that johnny's been told he ruins people, by danial, robby, shannon, and carmen, even terry. And i'm not gonna disregard his actions, i agree that he has done a lot of stuff that negatively affected himself and those around him, not limited to becoming a functioning alcoholic, teaching kids aggression, drunk fights, being an absentee father, etc

BUT we also see him try a lot of times to get his act together and do better for the people around him, such as teaching miguel mercy, cleaning up his apartment and trying to limit drinking for carmen, and trying to get along with daniel for the sake of his students, but he's still criticized even for trying his best, the only character to consistently have been on his side through his highs and lows has been miguel.

out of all the characters the one who refuses to see johnny's change the most is probably daniel, and this is NOT a daniel hate post, i love daniel and he's one of my favourite kk and ck characters but that doesn't disregard the fact that he tends to have knee-jerk reactions and gets unbalanced easily when it comes to johnny. A lot of the characterization in the show can be attributed to writing choices but i'm going to try my best to not make that my main focus.

alright lets start!

when johnny first opens up his dojo its partly because of the anger he feels towards daniel for succeeding in life but mainly because he doesn't want miguel to keep getting beat on and miguel probably reminds him of himself before he met kreese. Daniel is the one to come to johnny and tell him to close cobra kai and this is completely valid seeing as how daniel's experiences with cobra kai were in his youth, however its also been 30 years and its reasonable to assume that johnny isnt still a high school bully. He tells miguel that if he doesnt leave the dojo he'll end up 'just like' johnny. Right off the bat we have someone insinuating that johnny is a terrible role model. Then when daniel starts training robby and discovers robby's homelife he goes to talk to johnny just to immediately turn on him the second he sees kreese, he doesn't talk to johnny to clear up the situation and he doesn't tell him about his son, and yes johnny has been a shitty dad but he deserves to know that his kid is going to be living with someone else (i honestly thought it was crazy that daniel never mentioned that he had johnny's SON IN HIS HOUSE??)

when robby takes sam to johnny's apartment when she was drunk daniel literally kicked down his door and got into a physical fight with johnny because he couldn't believe that johnny was being considered a safe space for his son to bring his crush to in order to sober up and wouldn't listen to johnny rationally asking him to calm down. and S6 SPOILERS but i think that out of the two of them johnny was trying much harder to be accomodating to daniel, he gave up the name cobra kai and eagle fang for miyagi do, worked kata into his teaching and geniunely tried to not be so hard headed and quick to fight. He tried to get a job (daniel making him switch from using karate as a job was honestly crazy, that was literally how he was paying bills and putting food on the table, johnny asking to be paid for his time and effort wasnt an insane ask especially considering that daniel owns multiple dealerships and chozen comes from a rich family as well, johnny is the only one that actually needed the dojo as a way to make money) and just overall be there, im not saying hes a great dad right away but its obvious that he's trying to be there for both miguel and robby without making either one of the boys feeling forgotten. (ex, telling them both he's proud win or lose, tying robby's headband, listening to miguel's college essay)

HOWEVER, it seems that no matter what he does, johnny is almost never seen positively by anyone other than miguel and devon. daniel switches up on him instantly (he drops people at the first sight of their flaws, as soon as johnny takes even a single step backwards instead of acting rationally and looking at the situation + offering support he tells johnny he'll never change and drops him immediately, he did the same thing with robby and doing that to a teenager dependent on you for food and shelter is honestly crazy), carmen has been pretty much sidelined due to the baby (i have THOUGHTS on this), kreese is his only supporter and he was literally tripping balls and snapped hallucination johnny's neck like a stale breadstick so johnny doesnt really have much in the way of a good support system

now for those that have somehow stuck around lol lets get to the actual point (i realized here that i literally just blabbed for so long without making my point lmfao)

a self-fulfilling prophecy is essentially: you become what you are told. if i told you everyday that you will never amount to more than what you are right now, ive 'prophesied' your future and to self-fulfil it you would just stop trying because you know that nothing you do will ever change my mind.

in a similar vein i believe that deep down johnny DOES believe that no matter what he does or how hard he tries he'll never be able to move past the image of him thats already been made up in peoples minds (society for all it talks about rehabilitation does not tend to actually support those who want to rehabilitate- more thoughts below) and so he goes through a constant cycle of disappointing those around him again and again because no one believes he can be any better and he's internalized that, i honestly have soo many thoughts about johnny's character in kk1 and ck and i would love to chat with anyone interested about it

re: society and rehab

so people talk the good talk about how rehabilitation is important and necessary, in the show daniel is able to form good friendships with both chozen and mike who were arguably much worse than johnny was to him (chozen fought in a literal DEATH MATCH against him and mike harassed him, dangled him off a cliff, forced him to compete in a rigged match where he pretty much just whaled on him on the mat), why was daniel able to forgive these guys but not johnny? my theory is that its because to him chozen and mike have their lives together and have also properly apologized for their actions (JJ&H im still waiting on that johnny apology where we address the 'you're alright larusso' line) meanwhile johnny has obviously gone downhill since HS, but daniel never takes his attempts to get it together seriously and along with a lot of the toxic ideals put into him by kreese, johnny doesn't take his rehabilitation seriously either, he can't afford rehab for his alcohol dependency (plus rehab isnt viewed positively by him either) and he doesnt have a very steady support system so that makes it even more difficult. unlike daniel he's never had a positive father figure in his life which makes it difficult for him to act as a father without fear of becoming kreese, i just wish that the show would take johnny's journey to becoming the man he wants more seriously

[yanyanboi]

Yandere jock x fem reader pt1

Pt2: https://www.tumblr.com/yanyanboi/737909812475691008/yandere-jock-x-fem-reader-pt2

Ok so this is my first post so please be nice, and im also dyslexic so my spelling and grammar is not going to be good but please bare with me, this will be a reader with she/her pronouns because those are my pronouns and it’ll be easier for me to write that but I’ll write other pronouns (he/him they/them etc) once I feel more confident to do so, but other wise enjoy this yandere oc.

Yandere jock met reader in his freshman year, once he sees her at freshman orientation he was just amazed by her, like hypnotized by her beauty, of course he didn’t talk to her nonono because he was just a nobody at that time, like sure reader was also a freshman but she was beautiful and so out of his league, so yandere jock joined the football team in hopes to impress reader, and when yandere jock went home that day he told his rich ceo father (that is also a yandere for his mother) that he found the most beautiful girl today and that he just joined the football team to impress her, and boy or boy if you thought that yandere jock was just going to have this cute little crush on reader well you are totally wrong because after telling his father that by the way never showed any interest or fatherly affection towards him in any shape or form now was suddenly smiling at him and is talking about how “proud” and “happy” that yandere jock has finally found “the one” for him, so not only is this “yandere” gene somehow in his bloodline but also his father is extremely proud and encouraging of this behavior. Yandere jock will ask his father how to stalk and “protect” reader which his father is all but happily telling him the secrets about getting away with these things in the name of “love”, and yandere jock will be stalking, stealing, killing in the name of love while never actually introducing himself to reader because he deemed himself not worthy of her time, until his senior year when yandere jock has gotten the respect of the whole school, he has fan girls in different school districts and football scouts just begging for him to join there teams, he is definitely going to be apart of the NFL, and has the money (from his father that will be 100% willingly to help out his son because he knows what it’s like to be “inlove”) to support and provide for reader for to do ever she wants.

It’s the first day of yandere jocks senior year and he is just so excited that he has not gotten a blink of sleep, not because it’s his last year in high school or that he can go to college and play with the best of the best instead of playing with freshmen that just gotten out of middle school, no, it’s none of that but it’s because the first day of his senior year he’ll finally talk to her, yandere jock has finally deemed himself worthy to talk and be with his gorgeous little reader, and yandere jock has the perfect plan on how to do this, he’ll be looking in his locker before school starts, while he’s doing this yandere kick will make sure that his locker is blocking readers locker (he and his father made sure that readers locker is next to his) and when reader asked for yandere jock to move that his when he’ll make his move and flirt with reader until she is just a blushing mess, that is until the bell for first hour rings and coincidence reader has the same class as him, actually reader has ALL of her classes with him not his weight or gym class, because that is just to much for his fragile little reader that shouldn’t even have to pick up anything because that his why yandere jock got fit and strong, to do things for reader, anyways during yandere jock and readers first class they will sit next to each other and that is when yandere jock will really flirt with reader, because yandere jock knows so much about reader he’ll be the perfect potential boyfriend for her, yandere jock will know what makes readers stomach do flips and what gives her the ick, and once reader gets with yandere jock (which would happen in like the same month they “met”) she will see what he truly is as time goes by, or will she?!?

Sorry it’s really late and I’m tired to continue but I hope y’all like this and please comment on how you feel about yandere jock, I really want to name him Elliot or something fancy because his father is this rich guy that loved those type of names, also I see yandere jock to be 6,4ft yes he is a big boy with muscles that make him look like a fireman, and yandere jock is 100% Mexican and can speak fluent Spanish and English

[vhstown]

42!MILES BOXING AU

a wiki-style post — by @vhstown <3

HELLO this is just some extra background info i came up with for the earth-42 boxing au i wrote about in my two-shot fic time out

all of the ideas in this post i came up with by myself! nothing to do with x reader this is just totally nerdy au rambling (how id envision this au in a comic book / fighting shonen etc)

i don't write fighting stories and im not a boxer so soz if any info is unrealistic i just be making this up fr. it's fiction have fun w it!

spoilers for the fic? i guess? i basically just mansplain EVERY little detail cuz i don't have the balls to write a series

a little contents page for your sanity:

KEY FIGURES: Miles G Morales "The Prowler" // Norman Osborn // Harry Osborn "The Green Goblin" // Wilson Fisk "Kingpin" // Adrian Toomes "The Vulture"

THE UNIVERSE AT LARGE: Boxing generations // Sports journalism // Human enhancement and experimentation // Boxing and the criminal underworld

KEY FIGURES

Miles G Morales / "The Prowler"

The big man himself! Started out boxing with his Uncle Aaron after his father's death as a way to cope and get closer to his uncle.

Aaron is pretty well-versed in boxing and likely competed back with the older generation of boxers in Earth 42. Likely fought alongside Miles' dad Jefferson too back in the day and that's why Miles takes particular interest.

Miles' mom is hesitant about letting him go to Las Vegas to compete (drawing parallels from 1610!Rio not wanting Miles to move out of state for college) but eventually gives in.

I think in this case aging up Miles would be appropriate considering he's fighting adults but who says a 15-17 year old can't take on fully grown adults (fiction!!!!)

Miles gains temporary fame after beating "The Vulture" who is an old generation boxer.

Miles wants to make his family proud and also take the opportunity to make money so his mom can live comfortably but obviously that goes wrong because his manager is...

Norman Osborn

One of the sport's big shots. Has a LOT of the industry under his influence and potentially rigs matches?

Miles' first manager — Osborn takes on Miles but later lets him go because he's not "worth" the investment (which has nothing to do with actually winning as you'll see later.)

Involved in illegal human enhancement and experimentation, particularly on:

Harry Osborn / "The Green Goblin"

The boxer that takes out Miles in one punch and gets Miles' contract nullified

No consistent fighting style, flimsy and appearing to be nothing like an actual boxer but his win streak is building like no other boxer.

He's juiced up on something 😭 This is one of the main plot points of the AU where boxers and other athletes are being experimented on to acquire "superhuman" qualities. Norman is basically experimenting on his own son (for reasons maybe similar to the canon Green Goblin? Perhaps because his son wanted to be a boxer but couldn't because of a degenerative disease.)

Motivation for Miles would be to fight him again but obviously he can't immediately after losing so he has to build up his wins again and so he goes to:

Wilson Fisk / "Kingpin"

Ex heavyweight boxer and champion, probably an older generation of boxers that came before all the experimental stuff and is now a manager and big-shot and rivals with Norman.

His main thing is rigging matches and earning money through betting systems that only he profits from.

Used to manage "The Vulture" who left his contract after being beaten by Miles.

Miles goes under a contract with him after Fisk takes an interest in his win against The Vulture, and now he's masked boxer (which is pretty uncommon I heard so he sticks out and becomes popular again pretty fast) with the ring name "the Prowler"

Miles very quickly realises that Fisk is shady and he decides to break through the rigged matches that he's meant to lose and win anyway which only builds his popularity and the people betting on him.

Fisk sees opportunity in this and decides to let Miles do his own thing so that he can take down his rival Norman Osborn when Miles finally fights against The Green Goblin again.

Adrian Toomes / "The Vulture"

Long-time boxer with an unbeatable win streak, lightweight champion. By the time Miles is fighting him he's on the brink of retirement but stubbornly fights him anyway only to lose.

More of a minor villain at the start however after being let go by Fisk he turns to Norman Osborn and his experimental technology to make a come back and hopefully face off with Miles Morales again.

THE UNIVERSE AT LARGE

A quick note on "generations" of boxers

Old generation = Aaron's boxing era, prime time to be a boxer more about the sport less about the money, fame, etc.

New/second generation = Includes the Sinister Six and experimental work and crime and the whole shebang. Miles experiences boxing through this generation.

Sports journalism

The Bugle is not only a source of everyday news but they have a department dedicated solely to sports journalism!

In my fic MJ is the one who reports on Miles' win however there's definitely Gwen Stacy potential! A rookie journalist doing an internship at the Bugle and might help out Miles on his boxing endeavours (or you could sneak in an x journalist!reader if you're cheeky.)

If you wanted to take a more classic Gwen route you'd probably involve her in the next thing which is:

Human enhancement and experimentation

Oscorp in some capacity would exist in this universe, likely using the front of a company that supports athletes and their development with their technology.

Osborn uses the company's power and tech to fuel the regeneration of his son Harry Osborn and puts him into boxing (as Harry wanted.)

This technology eventually branches out into other boxers in a new-generation of genetically modified boxers — also the opponents that Miles would have to fight, likely in the form of the Sinister Six (including The Vulture.)

All of the experimentations have weaknesses to them that Miles can take advantage of (e.g. The Green Goblin is only a threat if he can land a hit.)

Boxing and the criminal underworld

Miles Morales soon realises that boxing and the sports world in general is just a massive front for criminal activity.

As he fights more and more matches under Fisk he realises the true extent of not only Fisk's world but the entirety of the boxing world in this "second generation" of boxers.

Aaron quit boxing for this exact reason and him and Miles eventually work together to take it down.

Potential for Miles to be the regular Prowler here? It's pretty much open-ended so he could be written as a vigilante with his usual gear or as a fists-only fighting shonen protagonist.

May include some link as to why Miles' father died? I kept it pretty ambiguous in my fic so he could be a police officer or ex-boxer or whatever you'd like — point is, his father's death motivates Miles to take over the boxing sphere!

a note from me

hello hello this is vee! amateur writer and even more amateur athlete (im not an athlete at all 😭)

this is just a post of my personal ideas, again none of this is canon i just put a lil spin on the original villains

if you're going to write this please tag me because id love to see!!!!!!!! even if it's not related to anything in this post AT ALL if you write or draw anything to do with boxer miles please tag me i am Starving

none of these ideas are very refined and open to change / adaptation! feel free to tack on your own ideas too

i highly doubt anybody's read this but if you did i appreciate u 😭🙏

MAKE MORE ATSV AUS PLEASE (frothing at the mouth)

ill edit or reblog this with any other ideas i might have so this is subject to change i guess <3 have a good one

[lil-binuu]

DRAFT: ELIAS PART 2

i am currently writing the real part 2 but it’s taken a lot of brainstorming and different drafts ~ i was gonna post this one but i’ve decided i’m not satisfied with it and not really happy with the plot so im changing a couple things but i still wanted to post this to get feedback! (i also may or may not delete this once the real part 2 is out)

Elias never wanted to be a leader. The thought of having so much power over thousands of lives made his stomach turn.

He always knew that he wasn’t right for the gang, wasn’t right for a leader, but the pressure from his father along with Elias’s desperation to make him proud, made him feel so stuck.

He wouldn’t say that he regretted joining the wraiths, Elias really admired the work his father - and his mother - did for the community. But he couldn’t help not feeling ready. He didn’t want to let so many people down, and it felt terrifyingly inevitable.

He had often wondered what his life would be like if he didn’t join the gang, and stayed on at college. But in the shadow of this thought, was the nightmare of why he joined in the first place. To see his father so absorbed in the gang, it draining the life out of him, Elias knew that if he let this happen then he would lose him completely.

The ceiling of the room was high, as if to make up for the fact that Elias could hardly breathe. The chatter that sprouted in the room faded as the warden pushed out of his chair and stood up to address the room.

“Before we start, I’d like to thank each of you for making your way here today. I’m sure many of you know how much it means to me for you to be here, as I’m also sure you know why you’re here.”

Elias’s body felt stuck, his eyes locked on the scene in front of him. He could feel the burning of darting eyes scanning his face.

“My son, Elias, was first recruited to the wraiths over a year ago,”

The words hit him like a wave trying to suffocate him.

“..and since then has worked hard for our cause.”

Elias tried to breathe. It only made him need air more. Air - he needed air.

“Along with this, he-”

“Could I -uh- get some water?” Elias interrupted.

The warden paused and stared blankly at his son for a few dreadful seconds.

Trying aimlessly to hold in a sigh, he muttered through clenched teeth “make it quick” before continuing his speech.

Relishing this temporary freedom, Elias slipped out the room. Closing the door behind him softly, trying not to disturb the meeting any further.

As he entered the empty corridor, his stomach dropped. He froze for a second.

Looking down the hall both ways, confused, Elias called out “Yn?”

After a couple dreadful seconds of silence, he rushed to the end of the hallway to look around the corner and call the name a second time.

Dust falling gently into your eyes caused them to water. Hardly able to lift your weak arms, you rolled over to your side, causing a strong wave of nausea to hit you. Breathing came with a foul stench, most likely from the old dumpster-mattress beneath you. You would try to sit up if your head wasn’t throbbing so viciously.

Taking a deep breath and looking around, you hear a rough voice speaking a room away. You feel shivers run down your spine, as you remember the man who held you at gunpoint and forced you here.

Whether it was your ringing ears or his slurred voice, you couldn’t make out the words he was saying.

The room looked neglected. Wallpaper peeling, dust everywhere and furniture moth-eaten. That was, of course, regarding the mattress; the only piece of furniture in the room. The room was entirely cleared out, leaving only glass shards and rusty nails that made a carpet for your zip-tied feet.

You felt a frighteningly desperate urge to run but moving even the slightest bit caused your body to shake uncontrollably.

You worried about what would happen to you, what this man wanted. What he was willing to do to get it.

Not wanting to let the panic take a hold of you, you breathed deeply trying to clear your mind from the worst-case-scenario thoughts. But you could barely hold them back, and tears pricked at your eyes.

Trying to swallow your emotion, praying that your hyperventilation couldn’t be heard, you wiped your eyes. You knew Elias, you knew he would do whatever he could to find you. You just had to trust him.

The worry on his forehead creasing as he watched over the security footage, Elias’s eyes turned a dark shade of anger.

“Shit”

He hissed under his breath.

Walking furiously towards him, “Elias what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The warden growled, “I’m doing all of this for you, you can’t just walk-”

“Yn’s gone.” Elias interrupted hurriedly, “They were taken by a man with a gun”

The irritated warden paused for a second, taken off guard. His eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Elias showed him the cctv footage of the building as his father cursed the same reaction.

“When was this?” He demanded, replied with “Uhh, 7 minutes ago.”

The warden nodded, picking up his phone. “I’ll get a team ready” He told Elias before turning back towards the meeting room.

“What? No, I have to be looking for them!”

Warden scoffed, “No you’re-” Elias cut him off immediately, yelling back at his father.

Fury flooded his veins, exasperated because of all the times his father had held him back from doing something.

“You can’t expect me to just sit here, I’m going out there-”

“Not alone, you’re not.”

(yeah so i hate this lol and i’m rewriting all of it especially the plot so come back for the real part 2?)

[echo-exanimo]

a snippet from the fic im writing

speeding bullet content ahead!!

its a lil angsty but im havin fun with it hehe

for a touch of background, scout noticed snipers last name on an item earlier which is Why he knows that. just. for reference.

"Yeah, mate, not a problem. Let me start some tea."

---

A knock at his door woke Sniper with a start. It was dark outside, hardly time for anybody to be up and about. He slid from his bed, pistol in hand as he went to the door.

"Who's there?"

"...Snipes?" Came the quiet reply.

Sniper set down the gun on a nearby ledge, unlocking the door with a questioning look. "Roo? Why're you out here at this hour?"

"Uhhh," Scout scratched the back of his head. "Couldn't sleep. Ya mind if I-"

The two sat in silence as Sniper started a kettle and set aside a few mugs.

"Y'mind tellin' me why you're out here at..." He checked the clock. "4 in the bloody morning?"

"I told ya. Can't sleep." The easygoing smile he shot the Sniper didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Right." Sniper decided not to press it any further. They could talk over a few mugs of tea.

More silence. It felt stifling without Scout's near constant chatter, the way his presence didn't seem to take up the entire room and instead hardly took up the space of his body.

Sniper stirred a spoonful of honey into one of the mugs before turning and offering it to Scout. "Here. Chamomile." He tipped his head a bit at Scout. "My mother used to make it for me. Helps you ease up a bit."

"Sounds good." He took the mug, and Sniper was struck with how strange his hands looked when they weren't wrapped for work. He sat down across from Scout with a sigh, figuring if he didn't speak, the other man would eventually.

"...Snipes?"

"Mm?"

"You ever think about, uh, home?" His eyes darted to the ground before he looked back up. "Like... The people you miss? Wonder if they'd be proud?"

"Well, my mum and dad don't particularly appreciate my line of work..." He twiddled with the spoon in his mug, mixing even though the honey had long dissolved. "Didn't really have too many others."

"Oh."

Scout fell quiet again, sipping his tea thoughtfully.

"Well, I... I miss my ma. I worry about her, y'know?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's been a while since I've been home, she doesn't know where I am... Been a while since we talked."

"Is that what's buggin' ya?"

Scout looked down. "No, not really."

Sniper placed down his mug and watched Scout carefully as he began to speak again.

"It's my brothers. They, uh... These dogtags, y'know?"

His words were scattered in a characteristically Scout way without any of the energy. It made sense, but for a second Sniper didn't quite catch it. The Scout didn't often talk about his background.

"I just can't imagine how worried my ma must be, the third of her sons to disappear into a war she can't know about. She doesn't know I die every single day, she doesn't know what I do, she doesn't know any of it."

Scout looked uncomfortable, scuffing his feet against the legs of the table. "I wanna go home for a bit. Just let her know I'm okay. She doesn't have to know it all, just know I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." His voice got progressively quieter as he spoke, a far cry from the Scout he'd been just a few hours ago, rowdy in the lounge with the rest of the guys, cards and booze and raucous laughter.

"Mate..."

"Nah, nah, I- I know it's kinda dumb. Like. We all have people back home. I just worry for my ma. I should call her tomorrow." He took a long drink of the tea.

Another long silence, but this one felt a little less quiet.

"...If you'd like," Sniper winced at the sound of his own voice breaking through the quiet. "you can stay here for the night. If the company would help at all."

"...Yeah. Thanks."

"Not a problem." He nodded once and stretched. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Uh... Nah, I don't think so. Thanks, Mundy."

The Sniper stood still, having stood to start cleaning.

"Sorry. Shit. I can, uh-"

"No. No, it's fine, I'm just... Not used to hearing that name. Not anymore. But. It's Mick. Mick Mundy."

"..Jeremy Gallagher."

"Irish, mm?"

"Yeah. Irish."

The two were quiet for a moment longer before Sniper continued, empty mug in hand to place into the sink. "Blankets are in the drawer beside you."

"Alright. Yeah, thanks."

Sniper retreated to his bed, quietly groaning as he got settled. "Don't wake me up too early, now."

"No way. I'm tired enough as is."

This earned Scout a tired laugh. "Right then. I won't worry with the alarm. Five minutes to get ready work for you?"

"Yeah."

[marymary-diva17]

new life with her (2)

captain Rex x reader

It has been two years since you and rex had left the republic had started a new life on neutral planet away from the war. It was a struggle at first but soon life had become good for the both of you, rex had been able to get a identity he kept his name but was no longer seen as clone trapper but a citizen of the galaxy. You were able to change you life as well starting over and finding new happiness. Now the couple had reach a new milestone and year in their lives, since they arrived here they kept in contact with ashoka to hear how everything was going even due they knew not that much has changed, Until now changed had come into the couples lives that will change everything forever.

Rex " ........" rex had never been this worry and nervous in his life then he had ever been even when he was fighting in war. He was standing in hospital waiting for any news about you, and your guys unborn baby. You had become pregnant and now you were in labor rex had about you to the hospital and now was waiting for any news.

rex " I have gone into battle for most of my life and that didn't scare me as that much as this right now" rex was not allowed into the room as doctor and medical droids are attending to you.

????? " rex" rex soon looked up and saw ashoka making her way towards he had called her and it seems like he, got here right away to be supportive of the couple.

ashoka " how is she doing"

rex " I don't know the doctors haven't come out and updated me, now im nerves wrack"

ashoka " it going to be okay rex you and y/n are the most toughest people I know and you have handle everything, that has come your way and now this a new battle or mission for you to experience"

rex " thank you ashoka" soon a cry had been heard that had gotten the duo attention, they soon looked towards the door and soon a doctor came.

rex " doc"

doctor " congratulations sir the labor had went well and your wife have delivered two health babies"

rex " twins are you serious twins" a bright smile had grown on rex face when he heard the news, ashoka was happy as well with the twins.

doctor " yes sir you can go see her now family and friends can see her now and once again congratulations"

rex " thank you doc"

ashoka " well go see her" rex soon went into the room to see the medical droids are with you, they were checking up on you and the babies. They soon made way for rex so he can be near you and the twins.

rex " hello my lovely wife"

y/n " hello my husband I will like you to meet our sons"

rex " we have sons"

y/n " yes two sons healthy and strong will you like to hold one of them" rex had nodded his head he soon took one of the twins and sat down in the chair.

rex " my boys hello my boys"

y/n " it looks like we have a family of our own now"

rex " yes we do and thank you my love for give me to wonderful children" rex smiled towards you and after a while ashoka had came into the room to see the boys.

ashoka " congratulations the both of you on your twins and start of a family"

y/n " thank you ahsoka and thank you for coming it good to have friends here"

ashoka " you two have always been there for me and now I'm here for you two"

rex " what should we name them"

ashoka " I say we should chose a R name so they can match with you"

rex " what about this one here Rowan and his brother Ryder"

ashoka " those are wonderful names welcome to the galaxy town and Ryder, cant wait to see what you two will be in the future"

y/n " I think they will be amazing and follow in their father footsteps"

rex " maybe your footsteps but whatever they do we will be proud of them" ashoka couldn't stay for long as the jedi council and anakin will be wondering, where she she had gone she did give a small gift for the twins and promised to come see the couple again. Later that night the couple had return to their home with their twins, rex making sure to be there for you and the twins. That day the couple had started on their journey of parenthood, as you both had become happy with your new lives here and wouldn't change it for anything.

[etherealspacejelly]

Hey dad,

Are you out to your parents? I can never come out to mine, which creates a lot of questioning for my future.

If you are, how did you do it (I’m presuming you have parents)?

Thanks from a closeted new follower of your brilliant posts :)

I am out to my parents! I came out about 5 years ago now, it was my anniversary recently actually!

i came out to my dad first. i was going to his house for a different reason, but i decided to do it then because. idk. i just felt ready i guess. i sat down with him and he could tell something was up, so he asked me if there was anything i wanted to talk about and i said yes. and i told him i was nonbinary and aroace, and that i wanted to use they/them pronouns and go by a shortened version of my birth name (this was before i had decided on robin and he/they). he asked me what those things meant, with genuine curiosity because he hadnt heard of them before, so i explained it to him and he said ok! thats fine. and he said he loved me and supported me no matter what, and that it would be a bit hypocritical for him not to since he is queer himself (which i was not aware of at the time! he just assumed i knew??? hes pansexual lmao)

he did a bunch of research in his own time, watching videos by nonbinary youtubers and stuff like that. he learned how important it is for parents to facilitate social transition, so he took me to get my first gender affirming haircut a few weeks later. he also bought me my first binder, and took me shopping in the mens section for the first time. he also took me to my first pride that year! he has remained super supportive, calling me his son at work, greeting me with "hey my boy!" every time he sees me or calls me on the phone, has barely ever slipped up on my pronouns. basically, my dads a fucking legend lmao

i think a few weeks to a couple months after i told my dad, i came out to my mum. that went. not great. she was like. ok. and immediately went back to her phone. my heart just sank. she still gets my pronouns wrong 5 years later, she says often that i will always be her daughter. she even said that trans people are just mentally ill. she loves jkr and often uses terf talking points. but, she Says she supports me and isnt transphobic, and she Tries to use my pronouns so. yk. that makes everything ok /s

she also thinks that ill change my mind about being aroace when i find 'the right person'. i never told her about the queer platonic relationship i was in because i knew she would just use that against me. i had an entire year long relationship, and to this day she has no idea.

the thing is, my mum had always been a self professed supporter of the lgbtq. when i was a kid it was always "when you grow up and get a boyfriend or girlfriend" or "when you get married to your husband or wife", so i thought it would be a slam dunk. i thought, theres no way she wont accept me. but here we are. meanwhile, i had been quite nervous about telling my dad! i didnt know how he was going to react.

so, you never really know how these things will go. this isnt me telling you to come out, by the way! if you feel unsafe or unready then please dont. do whats right for you first and foremost. but, sometimes people will surprise you i guess, and not always for the better.

you will find your people. family is about unconditional love and acceptance, and if your parents arent providing that for you then they're not doing their damn jobs properly.

im always here if you need a dad, it would be my honour.

I love you, and I'm proud of you, kiddo :)