#ive used everything
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Sometimes I forget how much fanfiction I write and it's like, I keep stumbling across my own fic, not realizing it's mine, (because I've been writing for forever and it's most likely old af) clicking on it, reading a paragraph and realizing, oh, shit. this is my own fic.
and then reading it anyways to torture myself.
#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#ao3 fic#fanfiction.net#(yeah i used that shit)#(oh and)#wattpad#ive used everything#I used to have a blog for this stuff#it was dope#but it was#...#interesting#to say the least
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Look at what I have made
EIAL autism creature
#will wood#william woodiam#william lumber#everything is a lot#will wood brainrot us real#autism#autism creature#wooperenjoyer#help will wood is eating my brain#hes gonna catch kuru and die laughing in jail#☹#will wood brainrot is real#all ive listened to is will wood#yippee!!!
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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Okay, one more doodle from session 2. In the words of bdubs, I too kinda love what this series is doing to etho LMAO
#secret life#slsmp#ethubs#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#bdubs#etho#art escapades#something is SO WRONG WITH THEM YOUR HONOR#secret life smp#slsmp session 2#trafficshipping#trafficblr#I forgot what to tag DFJBSFKHNCGN#I just. I just think#yknow?#yeah#THIS NEW BRUSH IVE BEEN USING IS KINDA EVERYTHING#idk I like her#she feels so loosey goosey and painterly#maybe more coming =w=#Dbhc#Dbhc etho#Dbhc bdubs#Hermitcraft dbh au#dbhc ethubs
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simp
#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life#this changes everything#I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on#anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing#I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat#ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing#like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems#I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai Osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#myart#I’m gonna post and pass out now
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been thinking about something wicked a little too much lately. no harm in romanticizing the ominous dreadful unstoppable force
#ultrakill#v1#v1cked#<- unsure if ive ever officially decided that was the tag id be using but i dont recall anyone else having an idea for it#v1 and something wicked... ouhehehe#in a game like this... with conflict and violence and unceasing demand for a spectacle it is a step back to have v1 find themselves in a-#dark and quiet labyrinth belonging to a force that scares even them#idk. i think about it. its so unlike everything v1 has gone through thus far (though albeit not much as 0-S is in prelude. but i assume-#-there was some killing before they decided to drop down)#maybe it reminds them of their home? where they were built? light humming of wicked passing feels like the buzzing of bright artificial-#-lights that were routinely shined down on them for maintenance#a strange but welcome connection...#and something wicked is very lonely. i dont think it has much of an issue with this seeing as it knows its maze so so well.. im sure it-#-cares for it extensively. but a machine? coming here? i wonder if something wicked has the ability to interact with the terminals at all#terminals do really only talk to machines#but this one seems quite lonely. i dont think itd mind if something wicked happened to take a look#ok im done#gen art
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empirez art in this day and age
#smallishbeans#fwhip#empires smp#empires s1#empires s2#mcyt#myart#i honestly just needed a proper ref for myself#bc ive been using this one drawing i have laying around#for Everything LMAO
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🇵🇸 May We Be Free, Together. One genocided peoples to another. We stand with Palestine, now and forever. 🇦🇲
Care for Gaza (Direct Paypal)
E-Sims for Gaza (Showing Where/How to give them)
Palestine Children Relief Fund
Medical Aid for Palestinians
Daily Click For Palestine (Help by at least clicking this daily, it may not be much but it counts for something at least.)
BDS's website, remember to follow the boycott.
#free palestine. never stop talking about it. do everything you can. something is better than nothing.#cannot put neatly into words how much i feel for palestine. how much is influenced by being armenian as well.#and what ive learnt. both from online and from my mother. its a lot. its a lot.#i will never get over the poem Who remembers the armenians by a Palestinian author.#we remember you . we do too. you remember us. we remember you. ah...#my art#i dont.. try making art of my feelings. often. rarely. but. i try now. i try.
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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endless love!
[ID Two drawing collage pages of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. In the first collage, top corner, Wolfwood looks upwards disgruntled with a flushed expression, lying against a pillow, as his hair is being pet by Vash's hand. Next shows Vash and Wolfwood from behind, Wolfwood with his top bare and hickies covers around his nape area. Vash lifts hair away from his nape and asks, "More?" Wolfwood nervously says, "No." Next is a side profile of Vash, his arms around Wolfwood from behind while Wolfwood rests his hands against Vash's arms. Next to this are two smaller drawings; Vash turns to Wolfwood and says repetitively, "Wolfwood, Wolfwood..." Wolfwood, not looking at him, says "What?" He finally turns his head and looks shocked as he exclaims, "So close!" Vash says plainly, "You just noticed?" Below these is a drawing of Vash and Wolfwood sitting together as Vash kisses and hugs him from behind with his right arm around Wolfwood's neck and his left hand around his side. He also has his right leg propped against Wolfwood's knee. Bottom of the page has a comic. Wolfwood looks annoyed, speaking to himself, "Where is that idiot?! Need to get out of town before--" A chat bubble exclaims, "Wolfwood!" The next panel shows Vash running from the townspeople, small text saying "Get him! Vash the stampede!". Wolfwood, mad and about to pull the Punisher off his shoulder, says, "Argh, you fucking dumbass!" Vash exclaims, "Ah, don't!" before pulling Wolfwood into a quick kiss. He then tugs on Wolfwood's collar and says, "There's no need to shoot, just run!" Wolfwood stammers, "R-right..." with a flushed, dumbstruck expression.
Second collage; Top left, Wolfwood spoons Vash in bed, his arms around his chest and the other beneath Vash's head. Vash has his hand on top of Wolfwood's as he sleeps while Wolfwood lies awake. Behind this drawing is faint sketches of Vash's face. In a small panel, Wolfwood hides in Vash's neck as he mumbles to himself "Stop. Stop thinking embarrassing things, Wolfwood..." Beneath this drawing is another of them in bed, Vash now turned to Wolfwood and a hand on his cheek as he kisses him good morning. In a simpler style, Vash wraps an arm tightly around wolfwood with the text "snork mimimi" next to him while Wolfwood says, "We need to get up. Spikey! HEY!" In this corner, there are faint sketches of Vash and Wolfwood; one of them looking at each other; Vash kissing Wolfwood's forehead; Wolfwood saying, "Hand" with an outstretch hand and Vash says "ok" behind a drawing of them holding hands, both turned away from each other shyly. Next is a 4 panel comic. First shows Wolfwood's face getting squished by Vash's hands with the text "squish" around his face. Next, his cheeks are stretched with the text "Chee--" Wolfwood then hits Vash's face with his palm, exclaimining "That hurts!" The last shows Vash on Wolfwood's lap, smiling to himself as he continues to have Wolfwood's face in his hands. Next to this is another comic; A close up of their hands, Vash holding Wolfwood's with both of his. He then kisses the palm of Wolfwood's palm and says, "They're soft!" Wolfwood looks at him with flushed cheeks, "There's no way that's true..." END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#just posting first for now!!! wanted to have these two spreads together grah#ive been weirdly selective when it comes to posting on tumblr but i really need to start dropping everything from twitter/insta onto here...#anyway what is there to say... i like to just draw them being in love and silly. there are so many flavors to vw#and i so happened to really enjoy the intimate sickeningly affectionate aspect of it... lays down...#give these two touch and loved starved selfless individuals the chance to pour their entire being into loving the other....#thoguh in particular i drew these both for wolfwood wednesday (which is everyday to me) so theyre wolfwood centric#i think for some time i was just seeing a lot of work of vash being loved by wolfwood and obviously that makes sense#ww loves that fool so much and will love him two times as much for the love vash refuses to give himself#but i also love wolfwood and desperately needed to see wolfwood being loved so i drew it#bc it goes both ways... i def believe that ww would be adamant about giving affection to vash at first bc vash would hesitate asking#but once he gets comfortable vash's love pours and he'd noticed too that ww avoids getting spoiled affectionately bc of his own issues#vash is. stubborn to me. more so than wolfwood. he will destroy him with love!!!!!!!!!!!#and wolfwood will adjust and get used to it. being loved. loving. steadily but slowly as his days are filled with soft touches and reminders#that he's being handled gently and with care for the first time in a long time#ruporas art
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someone pointed out Ganondorf's new design is almost entirely based on Fudo Myo-o and i blacked out and woke up 3 hours later
#ganondorf#loz#totk#zelda#fudo myo-o#buddhist imagery#this is NOT his totk design everything was referenced from buddhist art#with some fudging on his hair and magatama#it's still pretty much the same??? what are you telling us nintendo#anyway ive succumbed to the space madness#tagging @pocketseizure#thank you for this meta
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for a second, you did the bad thing and bargained about it.
if it meant that you would never be numb like this again, what would you give up?
maybe it's the childhood stuff or the religious trauma or how your dad doesn't believe in medication, but this is how you are, right. you need to have a counterbalance. suffering has to have its own reward. there needs to be a point to it. and if you're happy - if you could just be happy, and the world could actually fill in enough space that the edges of your spirit actually meet the horizon of your body - you would need to pay for it.
your passions? that one seems fair, but how could you actually be happy without them. well, you'd never be numb again, so maybe you'd be able to find joy in the small things like you used to. gleeful, you'd make coffee and breakfast into an artform. you'd find a way to make it make sense, somehow. you'd move on. it'd be different, but it would be doable.
your lover? your friends? this would be hard. you owe so much to your community. still, you could maybe make yourself a small home in the woods. you could live a quiet life, one devoid of friendship - but also without this horrible grey mist. a life like bigfoot, then. you'd figure out how to make the most of it.
your hair. your teeth. all of it.
sometimes you are jealous of mental illness as it appears in media: a big stroke of a meltdown, a firestorm that resolves prettily in therapy. it is flashing lights and thin teenagers. you've absolutely had breakdowns that stole the show - but life after resolved into a pixel art of things you managed to piece together afterwards, not a tapestry of a heart made suddenly-beautiful. that people could pick up blades as if they weigh nothing, that the way it all appears is as a cry for help, not a slow backsliding.
you have to stop the thought: i'd give up everything.
but also - be real. you'd never give up your dog. nor your best friend. nor the way you feel walking while through deep fog. you'd never give up the last bonfire of summer, the reckless laughter of halloween. so you do still love things.
maybe that's the problem: you know it should be easier. you have everything you could possibly want. so how come you are still trapped? still yearning?
#writeblr#warm up#dlkfjsldkjf#ive been dealin w/some pretty bad [ mental illness ] for about a year now. like the kind i got at 19#and ..................... i have everything i want.#i wish it was easier for both of us#it is easier in a lot of ways. i am glad i stayed. but ya lol i am so tired in the Very Bad No Good way
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#portal 2#wheatley#ive decided to start using tumblr the same way i use my rpn profile page. just post everything thats on my mind at any time
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Started off by drawing ShrimpyJackal's Swap au Hazel, then got distracted by Taco ii
#saw an au where Taco won instead of OJ and Ive been rotating it in my brain since#she feels compelled to use the money to start the hotel and she doesnt even know why#she never gets to unmask so if she wants to keep all her relationships she has to keep pretending to be someone shes not#She technically has everything she wants but neither her or OJ are happy.#maybe ill write something for it.. possibly... I want to but also keeping track of every ii character and their relationships is a nightmar#ii#ii taco#gjinka#ii gjinka#art#digital art#fanart#oj is briefly in season 3 so Im thinking maybe Taco joins season 3 and learns to unmask#/uses being surrounded by new people as an opportunity to drop her persona some
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bayek, doing some exploring :)
#assassin's creed#assassin's creed origins#bayek of siwa#SHRHSERHGHGHHhhhGHHGHH#manifesting a 2025 where i can achieve some kind of financial stability that lets me periodically justify taking a weekend off#to just draw some stuff and not feel some kind of awful chest crushing anxiety doom spiral about time wasted#anyway ive been chipping away at this one bc it took a million years to figure out how to achieve the sense of scale#i was imagining. also i read a book about akhenaten and it made my brain feel like it was turned to mush BUT it was extremely#interesting and now im deeply invested in a handful of egyptian dynasties#and somewhere in all of that i outlined two ac origins fan comics. after Acquiring Information on things#@ 2025 please PLEASE. give me a weekend where i can spend it all doing bayek fan comics#also i wish to acquire a new spine. i think. i slept on a much softer pillow than im used to and my entire body has been fucked for a week#like. my neck feels like a jenga tower where everything is out of place. and somehow. my hip feels TERRIBLE#i want to give my body some kind of deus ex upgrade. ehghhh
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idiot who doesnt realize how much theyre gonna have to draw cowboy hats: uhmmmm scifi western fma au
#fma#fullmetal alchemist#edward elric#alphonse elric#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fmab#inspired by me slowly getting absorbed into rdr2 and everything ive been seeing of trigun stampede#and the singular cowboy ed madootles posted the other day#changing my life yall#and yes they have guns but the secret IS is that those guns are FAKE#bc their intimidation factor is so impressive that they never need to use them#i mean? firebomb short king edward elric going crazy on you and 6'4" alphonse elric looming over u with his hat tipped down?#gone. gone like the wind#idk might call this the wastelands au bc fun :^)#wastelands au
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