#i think for some time i was just seeing a lot of work of vash being loved by wolfwood and obviously that makes sense
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ruporas · 1 year ago
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endless love!
[ID Two drawing collage pages of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. In the first collage, top corner, Wolfwood looks upwards disgruntled with a flushed expression, lying against a pillow, as his hair is being pet by Vash's hand. Next shows Vash and Wolfwood from behind, Wolfwood with his top bare and hickies covers around his nape area. Vash lifts hair away from his nape and asks, "More?" Wolfwood nervously says, "No." Next is a side profile of Vash, his arms around Wolfwood from behind while Wolfwood rests his hands against Vash's arms. Next to this are two smaller drawings; Vash turns to Wolfwood and says repetitively, "Wolfwood, Wolfwood..." Wolfwood, not looking at him, says "What?" He finally turns his head and looks shocked as he exclaims, "So close!" Vash says plainly, "You just noticed?" Below these is a drawing of Vash and Wolfwood sitting together as Vash kisses and hugs him from behind with his right arm around Wolfwood's neck and his left hand around his side. He also has his right leg propped against Wolfwood's knee. Bottom of the page has a comic. Wolfwood looks annoyed, speaking to himself, "Where is that idiot?! Need to get out of town before--" A chat bubble exclaims, "Wolfwood!" The next panel shows Vash running from the townspeople, small text saying "Get him! Vash the stampede!". Wolfwood, mad and about to pull the Punisher off his shoulder, says, "Argh, you fucking dumbass!" Vash exclaims, "Ah, don't!" before pulling Wolfwood into a quick kiss. He then tugs on Wolfwood's collar and says, "There's no need to shoot, just run!" Wolfwood stammers, "R-right..." with a flushed, dumbstruck expression.
Second collage; Top left, Wolfwood spoons Vash in bed, his arms around his chest and the other beneath Vash's head. Vash has his hand on top of Wolfwood's as he sleeps while Wolfwood lies awake. Behind this drawing is faint sketches of Vash's face. In a small panel, Wolfwood hides in Vash's neck as he mumbles to himself "Stop. Stop thinking embarrassing things, Wolfwood..." Beneath this drawing is another of them in bed, Vash now turned to Wolfwood and a hand on his cheek as he kisses him good morning. In a simpler style, Vash wraps an arm tightly around wolfwood with the text "snork mimimi" next to him while Wolfwood says, "We need to get up. Spikey! HEY!" In this corner, there are faint sketches of Vash and Wolfwood; one of them looking at each other; Vash kissing Wolfwood's forehead; Wolfwood saying, "Hand" with an outstretch hand and Vash says "ok" behind a drawing of them holding hands, both turned away from each other shyly. Next is a 4 panel comic. First shows Wolfwood's face getting squished by Vash's hands with the text "squish" around his face. Next, his cheeks are stretched with the text "Chee--" Wolfwood then hits Vash's face with his palm, exclaimining "That hurts!" The last shows Vash on Wolfwood's lap, smiling to himself as he continues to have Wolfwood's face in his hands. Next to this is another comic; A close up of their hands, Vash holding Wolfwood's with both of his. He then kisses the palm of Wolfwood's palm and says, "They're soft!" Wolfwood looks at him with flushed cheeks, "There's no way that's true..." END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#just posting first for now!!! wanted to have these two spreads together grah#ive been weirdly selective when it comes to posting on tumblr but i really need to start dropping everything from twitter/insta onto here...#anyway what is there to say... i like to just draw them being in love and silly. there are so many flavors to vw#and i so happened to really enjoy the intimate sickeningly affectionate aspect of it... lays down...#give these two touch and loved starved selfless individuals the chance to pour their entire being into loving the other....#thoguh in particular i drew these both for wolfwood wednesday (which is everyday to me) so theyre wolfwood centric#i think for some time i was just seeing a lot of work of vash being loved by wolfwood and obviously that makes sense#ww loves that fool so much and will love him two times as much for the love vash refuses to give himself#but i also love wolfwood and desperately needed to see wolfwood being loved so i drew it#bc it goes both ways... i def believe that ww would be adamant about giving affection to vash at first bc vash would hesitate asking#but once he gets comfortable vash's love pours and he'd noticed too that ww avoids getting spoiled affectionately bc of his own issues#vash is. stubborn to me. more so than wolfwood. he will destroy him with love!!!!!!!!!!!#and wolfwood will adjust and get used to it. being loved. loving. steadily but slowly as his days are filled with soft touches and reminders#that he's being handled gently and with care for the first time in a long time#ruporas art
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i finished & posted the ITNL 14 re-edits, WHICH MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm officially done with my re-edits project!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive been thinking a lot today about my plans for ITNL 15, AND i have tomorrow off, so if all goes well i'll be able to start writing again. TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if the chapter grips me like i expect it will then... hehehehehe
could be an update in as little as a few days, depending. i'll keep u guys updated
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zuzuelectricbugaloo · 1 month ago
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Epic Sans Character Interpretation Masterlist
Some of this is canon, but for the most part this is my interpretation of the character. I might expand on or add on to this later if I forget anything or want to add on. I hope this helps!
Since Yugo is Filipino, I like to Hc that Epic is too and speaks Tagalog
And has other cultural mannerisms like not wear shoes in indoor living spaces and the only footwear would be house slippers
Epic and his Papyrus were created from test tubes
To make them, EpicGaster cut out holes in his palms.
Epic was created first years before Papyrus—it was never said when, but I believe Epic is at least 16 years or so older than EpicPapyrus and raised him given that Epic was old enough to work in a lab with EpicGaster but was clearly still younger than the other adult assistants
EpicGaster caused both the holes in Epic’s hands
And it’s why Epic hates them
Just like his Eye. It’s why he wears fingerless gloves and keeps his left eye closed most of the time
Epic’s magic, unlike all other monsters (I guess the exception could be snow types like Snowdrake but even then I think he’d be colder) is cold because of the Eye
An explanation for this
If Epic is killed/dies, the Eye will regenerate him to his previously unaffected state
However, if Epic is nonlethally injured, the injury will remain and heal at a faster rate than normal monsters, but the damage is not immediately undone like it would be if he died. Epic hates dying, so he’d take getting injured over dying even if it means he’ll scar/need to rely on his regenerative healing factor.
Epic is a genius given he was one of the Royal Scientists and worked with EpicGaster in his studies at a very young age
He has multiple PhDs (in what I assume are physics and such) and I believe has knowledge of and can vaguely see/understand a universe’s Code.
Epic loves manga and anime and makes it his job to enlighten his friends
It is his sacred duty to “make them men of culture” as well
Epic is a weeb and has tons of silly merch and collectibles
it also makes me think he’d do a lot of casual cosplay, like maybe wear Vash Stampede’s trenchcoat, but purple, and stuff like that
Epic’s style is primarily masculine, but he does enjoy gender nonconforming and feminine fashion as well
Some go to outfit HCs
Ofc, he also enjoys clothes that reference or allude to memes and pop culture. Some examples of his favorites are Cookie Monster, Shrek, Dragonball Z, and Trigun Stampede
Epic studied his Code in the past to stop dying in his dreams from the Eye.
When EpicGaster fell into the Void, he was no longer able to see through the Eye in Epic’s body. It’s a little comfort to Epic, though, and he hates and fears his Eye more than anything else
Epic is extremely depressed and often exhausted due to dying in his sleep and developing a high LV because of it. He hides behind an overly cheerful façade not as a lie but basically to “fake it ‘til he makes it”
And he is a goofy guy! I think most of it is genuine if not exaggerated
It’s easy for Epic to get emotionally blunted or numb bc of the sleep deprivation and LV, and he tries to hide this by keeping up his goofy memelord personality.
He’s used to running on little to no sleep after forcing himself to get used to it to avoid the nightmares. He’s constantly snacking on sweets and caffeinated drinks as a result
A bunch of silly headcanons that @vantriloquist came up with along with a few additions of my own that I think scream Epic
Cw: suggestive for this HC and the art but it’s all SFW:
Epic’s always carrying around condoms to use for a bit/joke that he accidentally develops the habit of nibbling on a condom wrapper whenever he’s stressed
He makes sure no one sees him do it but he kicks himself for making a bit become an addiction xD Now he’s got an oral fixation and a biting k*nk and it’s no one else’s fault but his.
Or he’s joked about them for sexy times so much that now he’s Pavloved himself to get horny whenever he or someone else holds a packet
Epic loves kids: the best “Bruhncle” ever
He loves playing with them and every child he was shown interacting with had a good time with him, like TK, Goth, baby Epic!Asriel and Palette Roller
I think Epic wants kids of his own with a loving partner but has accepted it as more of an out of reach fantasy. If he does have kids of his own he strikes me as a total wonderful girl dad who’d love the tea parties and Barbie dressups they’d do together
I think bc of this he’d be very protective of kids in general
Epic’s friends mean the world to him. Look at how much he adores Cross and would do anything for his best friend
Epic got body pillows, like his condoms and rubber chickens, as a bit
However, there is only one he’s serious about: his Hatsune Miku body pillow of grandma Miku from the AMV by Deco27 in the song called Blue Planet and is very proud of his GILF
He got a Cross body pillow as a joke and would send screenshots to Cross about taking his new best friend out to hang. Cross got jealous and stole the pillow and burned it later
Epic has goofy rizz
Earnest and sweet, he’s an absolute goofball. Think corny and so wholesome you don’t even feel the cringe anymore. I’m talking he takes you out on a date for a beautiful picnic with goodies he made and bought and when the sun sets he’d pose with a rose in his mouth and lay on his side with an arm at his waist and wiggle his boney brows when he asks “ya like jazz?”
He’d tell Cross “yo, I didn’t know my place was an art gallery since you’re drawin’ straight up masterpieces here bruh!”
Epic would tell Killer that he loved the outfit the fashionista made for him and that he loved it so much he wanted to “lovingly bite his fingers off/pos”
His flirts and compliments are memes and an unholy amalgamation of modern day and outdated lingo; nothing to make anyone uncomfortable however, consent and boundaries are important to Epic, especially after most of his were violated for the better part of his formative years by EpicGaster (shit parenting and because EG could see through the Eye, so Epic had little to no privacy or autonomy)
Like the rest of the Chromatic Crew, Epic has some meta abilities and occasionally breaks the fourth wall
For example, he can see Color’s flavor text and jokes that Color is the doge meme, much to Color’s befuddlement (my links aren’t working here so try checking out @toffeebrew they did such cute art about this)
Epic flirts but give him a genuine flirt or compliment? Bashful and shy he’s a blushy mess
Call him the cutest and sweetest man you’ve ever met and he forgets his own name in the melted puddle he becomes
Over twenty years of nonstop fighting in his sleep and gaining LV from killing the creatures of the Eye has made Epic a magic powerhouse
His mana is off the charts and it’s why he can keep up with Cross, a monster whose Soul was half of a Determined humans and now possessed DT even after his split from XChara
He doesn’t work out extensively like Cross but they do spar, as do him and Delta and occasionally Killer to socialize and not because he wants to keep his body in shape/muscled like Cross or Delta or even toned like Killer but bc he wants to stay agile and sharp against the Eye
He and Cross play fight and rough house a lot too. It may look scary to an outside observer, them snarling and growling and biting at each other like feral animals, but they’re having a blast and laugh right after and gently headbonk when it’s all done and cuddle after cooling down and play video games or smth
Epic is an astrophile
Some of his favorite dates are the stargazing ones or ones in Outertale
He has space themed clothes and outfits
When he and Papyrus were younger, Epic got stencils and threw buckets of ultraviolet paint on their bedroom walls to make glow in the dark galaxies and constellations
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mediocreanomaly · 1 year ago
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Uncanny Vash HC’s (SFW)
Authors Note: I’m sweating I have so many drafts to get out so I'm going in order, I promise all your ask shall be answered let me feed the creature lovers rq tho- Uncanny Vash is funny and I like to think about weird creature boyfriend, some repeats from the cuddling HC’s because this was already in the works but suck it up buttercup
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• I’ll start easy with my “Vash purr’s” propaganda because Vash 100% purrs
•Only thing is he’s not a small animal, he’s a full grown man (plant?) so his purring is a bit different, it’s pretty loud and sounds like a rumbling motor rather than a soft rattle, and often sounds like it comes from every direction. It’s a bit unnerving if you don’t know it’s him making the noise
•It’s still soothing though, especially if your laying on his chest or if he’s laying on you? Let those vibrations sooth you to sleep, Vash happy purring naps are the best
• Staying on the topic of noises, Vash can do that chattering thing cats do. He doesn’t do it unless he’s with people he’s close with but if he’s interested in something you’ll just hear “ack ack ack ack” and turn to see him laser focused on something chittering away
•Vash’s eyes do that animal reflection thing, and it’s honestly terrifying to wake up to at night and although he knows they do this he some how never comprehends how scary it is to see him looking at you in the dark
•I see it like that one south park audio: *Everyone in the dark* Meryl: “Y/N I’m starting to think this is a really bad idea” Milly: “Oh I’m not Y/N, I’m Milly! I thought you were Y/N?” Meryl: “No I’m Meryl” Wolfwood: “You’re Meryl? Where’s Y/N?” Meryl: “Who are you?” Wolfwood: “I’m Wolfwood!” Vash who’s eyes are currently glowing in the dark: “ha ha guess who I am you guys!”
•All of Vash’s proportions are just ever so slightly off, it’s a plant thing, you’ve seen his sisters. This is one that freaks people out because sometimes they notice it but can’t figure out what they are seeing
•Basically: his arms and legs are just a little too long, his fingers stretch a bit too far, his eyes are a little too big, he’s a bit too tall, all stuff that once added up are kind of hard to pick out when your looking at him as a whole, so you know something is off about this man but you just don’t know what...
•Teeth? Teeth. Vash has fangs, in fact most his back teeth starting from his canines are pretty sharp. You don’t really notice unless he yawns and you watch as all his sharp back teeth are flashed in his gaping mouth and- oh he stopped yawning don’t worry about it 
•Vash can drink water with his skin. His sisters have to live in the tanks and take in water through their skin and while Vash prefers to drink like a normal human he can totally dip his hand in anybody of water and it’ll hydrate him. It’s a party trick his does for the group and it freaks Wolfwood out when he drains a cup with his hand
•Vash frog blinks lmao. If he stares at something for too long or is really focused he’ll blink one eye and then the other, he can’t help it
•Speaking of which, Vashes eyes are triple eyelided like a crocodiles, which means he can be asleep and his eyes are wide open. It also means when he frog blinks you can see the other eye lid if you stare hard enough, scares a lot of bar goers who happen to look a bit too closely
•One time Milly had a whole conversation with Vash thinking he was awake but he was not. He was asleep. It’s that damn extra eyelid...if he’s really tired he falls asleep with his eyes open like that. It’s weird.
•He doesn’t keep body heat very well. Maybe it’s due to the fact his sisters live in water but he likes being in the sun to soak up it’s warmth (why else do you think he can wear that coat in the heat?) 
•Vash...if he’s distressed will make this noise. You’ve only heard it once when a city was destroyed and he thought you were dead but...it’s like a howl or animal in pain? It echoed through the entire desert and your body had a visceral reaction to it like it was warning you of a feral animal not to be messed with. When you had stumbled out of the rumble the noise had ended as Vash quickly scooped you up into his arms sobbing telling you never to do that again, it still keeps you up sometimes when you think about it
•Vash...somehow? blends in with his surroundings very well. It’s kind of weird, if he stands still its like...hard to see him? but it shouldn’t be, logically this man in a bright red coat should not be able to be missed but sometimes it’s like your brain forces you not to see him. He knows it freaks people out so he talks with his hands and moves a lot so it doesn't happen
•Feathers! Vash sprouts feathers. Usually it’s when he’s very content or happy although it can happen in extreme distress too. They look like normal bird feathers but they shimmer slightly and they feel weird like they’re made of hair, fern or something softer, Vash is pretty embarrassed about them but it’s super pretty
•Vash sometimes get’s places he shouldn’t be able to get to. Your motel room will be fully locked with no key and you’ll open it to see the blonde on the bed and he’ll just wave like it’s no issue. Trust me don’t ask how he got there
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heich0e · 2 years ago
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bittersweet - vash the stampede/f!reader (trigun stampede): 7k, listen there's only been 2 eps and i don't know the lore so i am loudy and emphatically declaring creative license, in my mind this is set before the start of stampede but not by much, heavy on the wild wild west core here, light angst, smut, fingering, needy vanilla sex, domesticity, mentions of alcohol/alcoholism, boot-throwing related violence. 18+ NSFW MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT
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The desert smells bitter.
You wouldn’t think that sand would smell like much at all, but the fragrance that hangs perpetually in the air is heavy, singed, and acrid with the heady scent of life and its misery. Waste and runoff make their unpleasantness acutely known on the hottest days, and the fumes from old machinery that’s barely functioning thanks to age and disrepair—that no one can afford to fix, so they have to hold out hope it keeps running—clogs up the already noxious atmosphere as it rattles on throughout the day. 
Mama used to tell you that outside of Jeneora Rock, the world smelled different. There’s somewhere else past the walls that mark the edge of the only town you’ve ever known, even past the wastelands—a place where almost no one ever goes, but that your Mama saw once. Or at least she said she did.
She told you it smelled clean. Sweet. Untouched by anything but the sun’s heat and the five moons’ glow. 
Mama’s gone, has been for a long time now, and even though she never had much to give to you in the first place, that story is the most precious thing she left behind. You think about it almost as often as you think about her. 
The end of another long day is marked by a familiar heaviness to your bones. Between the suffocating heat that makes you groggy and a hard day's work, there’s a palpable weight that bears down on you as you climb the never-ending metal stairs to your front door—your feet drag a bit more with every step.
The lock to your home is getting hard to turn. You’ve noticed it a few times now: a resistance as you slip your key into the keyhole, a pressure as you urge the mechanism to turn and let you in. There may be sand built up in there to clean out, or maybe it needs some oil.
But oil costs money, of which you don’t have much, so you really hope that it’s the former rather than the latter. 
You examine the keyhole once you manage to force the lock open, dropping to your knees outside your door to peek into the narrow opening on the tarnished face of the lock. It doesn’t do you much good because the sun’s already dropped dark, and even if the light of day still hung overhead you doubt it would be enough to make the issue any clearer. You drag your thumb idly along a little scratch beside the keyhole that's probably been there for years; the metal is still warm to the touch from the heat of the day that still hasn’t quite broken, the surface a little rougher where the score is chipped in.
You sigh, picking yourself up off the ground and dusting off your skirt, and turn the knob into your home. 
It’s dark when you get inside, but something feels wrong.
You shut the door behind you as you enter, pressing your back flat against it as your eyes struggle to adjust to the dark. Your home, like every other one in town, isn’t really much to look at even in the plain light of day. You’re luckier than lots of people though, you’ve got a couple rooms all to yourself where some families have no choice but to cram many people into just one. Papa left you this house, cause now he’s gone too just like Mama, but not much has changed since the day he left it to you—except now there’s less empty bottles rolling around underfoot, and you get to call the little bedroom off the main room yours.
It takes a second for your eyes to get used to the dimness with the door shut tight behind you, so you blink hard to make it happen faster. You see the rickety little table against the wall near the door, and the chair on the other side of the room where you sometimes sit by the window to mend your skirts when they wear and tear—but only when you get home early enough to catch the last few moments of sun, cause Mama always used to warn you about sewing by lamplight. The shutters on the window are closed and locked now, but there’s no light outside them to let in anyway. 
Something shuffles in the dark.
Papa left you a gun, too. Even taught you how to shoot it. Mama hated that. She hated how good you were at it even more. She used to say that shooting was gonna be your husband’s job someday, and that even in a world this wicked Papa was teaching you things you didn’t need to know.
But now Mama’s gone. And Papa’s gone. And the world is still wicked. And you’ve got no husband, but you have a gun you know how to shoot.
You keep it and a little stash of 7 bullets underneath your bed where you can get to it quick, but it’s on the other side of the house, and even though that’s not very far away you don’t know what’s waiting for you between the door and your bed. You don’t know if it’s faster than you are, either, so running for it would be a fool’s errand. 
Inside your chest, your heart starts pumping a little harder, ‘til you can feel the wet thump, thump, thump right in the back of your mouth.
You know you need light. You need to be able to see. You can’t make any decisions until you know what’s between you and your Papa's gun tucked up safe underneath your bed.
Slowly your eyes flicker over to the lamp on your table, just within reach. 
You suck a little gasp into your lungs to steel your nerve. The air is less sour in here—more familiar, a little more comforting—but the acrid scent of the desert still lingers on the edge of each breath. Slowly you reach towards the lamp and flick it on.
“PLEASE DON’T SHOOT ME!”
The frantic plea frightens you so terribly that it sends you tumbling to the hard floor, landing flat on your ass with your back thumping painfully into the wall beside your door. In front of you is a face that has no right being as familiar as it is; eyes wide in panic beneath a round pair of glasses, blonde hair tousled in disarray, two hands (one flesh and one crafted) lifted in innocence. 
Your heart is beating even faster now under the tight pull of your laced waistcoat. 
“Are you an idiot?” you hiss, instinctively tugging your boot off your foot and lobbing it forcefully at the unexpected intruder. “You scared the daylights outta me!”
The man sidesteps the projectile easily, and it clatters to the floor. The expression on his face morphs from one of panic to something a little more chagrined.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, drawing out the word. His tone sheepish, and his lips pull into an apologetic little smile.
You place a trembling hand on your chest, pressing down on the spot where you feel your heart thumping the hardest and willing it to slow. You stare at your scuffed floorboards and take a few breaths to ease the frenetic beat of your pulse, and feel yourself begin to wilt as the adrenaline in your veins starts to fade. 
“How’d you get in here, Vash the Stampede?” you ask, looking up again at the man in front of you from your place on the ground.
“I knocked first,” he says with a grimace, “but you weren’t home and I…”
“Broke in because you’ve got someone looking for you?” you finish his explanation for him, your tone flat and entirely unsurprised.
He sighs, shoulders slumping dejectedly as his head hangs forward. 
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
He lifts his chin only enough to guiltily meet your gaze.
“It’s just for one night,” he murmurs the plea, his bottom lip weighed down by a pout.
You shut your eyes tight, hands balling into fists over your skirt to hide the way they tremble.
“Fine.”
Vash falls to his knees in front of you, hands pressed to the floor as he gets right up in your face with a wide, cheerful grin. He’s almost nose to nose with you, the light of the lamp glinting in his glasses.
“Thanks so much! I promise I’ll be outta here before you know it!”
He doesn’t need to tell you that, because the pang in your empty stomach tells you that, even unspoken, you already knew it to be true. 
Vash is travelling light again, just like the last time you saw him. He’s only got one bag that he begins to unpack onto the rickety table in your kitchen, leaving you to quietly go about your own business like you would if you hadn’t found him in your home that night. On the other side of the kitchen you unpack the meagre amount of food you’d managed to buy for yourself that day from little satchel you carried it home in. It’s barely enough food for one, and now you’ll have to stretch it between two. 
“Where’s your father?” Vash asks as he fiddles with his gun at the table behind you. “I thought it was him coming through the door, and I thought for sure he was gonna blow my—“
“He’s dead.”
The silence that follows is heavy. Uncomfortable, even. Vash’s hands still even as yours keep quietly peeling the sad, withered skin from the vegetable in your hand with the blade of a half-dulled knife. 
“I’m sorry,” his next words are quiet. “Your father was a nice man.”
“My father was a drunk who got himself shot in a bar fight with a merchant who came to town and was talking big. He just worshipped you because you saved the plant.”
That same uncomfortable silence creeps in again in the wake of your words, but after a few moments you hear Vash pick up his tools and start tinkering away at whatever he’s working on once more. 
“Is the plant still running?” Vash is the first to speak again, though a fair amount of time passes before he risks another attempt at conversation.
“More or less,” you remark, setting a little pot on the stove to boil with whatever ingredients you’d been able to scrounge together into a meal. You watch the flame of the element burst to life as you flick the switch, a little hiss as the fire licks at the edges of your only copper pot. “Some days it’s more reliable than others. But whatever you did seems to be holding up all right.”
“Good!” Vash says behind you. “That’s good.”
You turn to face him, the unevenly mended hem of your skirt swishing around your ankles. You lean against the little countertop behind you, with your arms crossed behind your back.
“I’ll pop by the plant before I leave town—” 
You watch as Vash’s fingers nimbly fiddle with his gun, broken down into its component parts to be cleaned and maintained. You’re sure it doesn’t need it—are certain he’s fired less shots from that gun in the two years since you’ve seen him than you’ve heard in town this week alone—but it’s kind of nice to watch him work, to appreciate how certain and precise his every move is, and to see how concentrated he is while he goes about it. 
“—just to make sure everything’s still in good shape.”
He looks up at you, like for the first time he feels your gaze as it traces the lines of his profile. He smiles again, that same wide, willful expression of cheer that he always endeavours to wear even though he might be the person least entitled to it.
You hum. “I’m sure everyone would appreciate that. You should stop by to see Rosa too, she’ll box my ear if she finds out you blew though town and didn’t go see her.”
The two of you eat across the table from one another in silence. Just the scrape of cutlery and the occasional loud swallow passing between the two of you. Vash seems hungry, but appears to be trying his best to be at least a little restrained as he eats with you. Even though you’d given him the larger of the two portions, he’s still finished his plate before you’ve finished yours, but he sits patiently across from you waiting for you to swallow your final bite.
“I’ll take these,” he jumps to his feet before you have the chance to even push your chair back from the table, snatching both of your dishes up into his hands. “I’ll clean up, since you’re letting me stay.”
You don’t deny him, and instead slump back into your seat, dragging your wrist along your forehead. Your skin feels grimy from the hot day and the filth outside. Normally you would have bathed before you cooked, but you hadn’t eaten a proper meal all day—and Vash looked like it may have been even longer than that. 
“I’m gonna wash,” you say, standing from your seat. You pause, your fingertips tracing against the rough, rutted surface of the tabletop. You know you don’t have enough water for two baths in your tank. You used to bathe with your mother when you were little, then once you were older and Mama was gone, you got the bathwater first and Papa would get in after you were done. It’s never been an issue until now. “Er—Vash?” 
At the sink where your uninvited house guest is scrubbing at the dishes in the washbasin that you’d filled ahead of time, Vash pauses, glancing at you over his shoulder. He’s taken off his familiar red coat, left hanging off the chair he’d been seated in at the table, and the black turtleneck he wears beneath it stretches taut over the musculature of his back as it faces you.
“The bath… there’s only enough water to fill it once. I don’t…Do you want…?” you aren’t sure what you’re even trying to ask him, but whatever is coming out of your mouth is even less clear than the thoughts running through your head.
“I’ll bathe second, don’t worry about me.” 
Vash’s smile is gentle and obliging, his eyes crinkling at the corners as they narrow into little crescents. You nod stiffly, feeling heat flush through you at the softness in his expression, and shuffle off towards the other side of your home while avoiding his gaze.
The walls of your home are paper thin, and you’re certain that Vash can hear the splash of water in the tub as clearly as you can hear the scratchy, garbled sound of his radio from the other room. Once your skin’s been scrubbed clean of the day, you sit in the water with your knees pulled to your chest and your chin tucked between them. You strain to try to make out what’s being broadcast, but it’s difficult to hear since the reception in town is always so piss poor, and whatever coherent bits of news you manage to catch are just as abysmal as always.
It’s strange, hearing someone else in the house. It’s something you didn’t realize had become so foreign to you in the time you’ve learned to live alone. The idle puttering in the other room is a sound you didn’t realize you had missed. You lean back and dunk yourself into the water, where everything goes quiet. 
The bathwater never gets very hot to begin with—tepid at the best of times, which seems unfair given the climate—but you know it’s not fair to waste time in the tub when someone else is waiting for it. You pull yourself up out of the metal basin, careful not to disturb the stopper in the bottom of the tub, and dry as much water from your skin as you can. Once you’ve deemed yourself sufficiently towelled, you pull on your nightdress and a threadbare housecoat overtop.
Vash looks up from the chair in the corner by the window when you emerge from the bathroom, and he meets your eyes so unwaveringly it feels decidedly like he’s trying hard not to let his gaze wander elsewhere. You fidget under his stare, fiddling with the fraying ends of the towel around your neck that’s catching the droplets that fall from your hair. He must realize that he’s unnerving you, because he averts his eyes to a point on the wall over your shoulder after a moment. 
“My turn?” he asks, his tone chipper but polite.
“All yours,” you nod, stepping into your bedroom and leaving him to his business.
There’s an old trunk at the bottom of your bed where you keep some of the things your father left that you haven’t yet been able to sell or make use of. You find an old shirt of his near the very bottom, soft and worn-thin from years of washing. It’s something you could have easily sold or traded by now, but that you couldn’t quite bring yourself to part with—though you’re certain the day will inevitably come when sentimentality can no longer outweigh your basic needs.
You stand outside the bathroom door for a moment, your father’s shirt clutched tightly in your hands. You can hear the splash of bathwater you’re sure has gone cold from where you stand, only a few feet and a thin door between you.
You muster your nerve and tap your knuckles lightly against the door.
“I have a shirt if you need something to—“
The door opens, and you find yourself unexpectedly facing the bare chest of your one-night housemate, still damp and glistening from the bath, lined with silvery scars that the low light catches on.
You toss the shirt at him unceremoniously and turn quickly away, and Vash himself makes a little sound of surprise.
“Sorry, I didn’t expect you to be—“
“It’s fine,” you answer before he can even finish his apology, still refusing to meet his gaze. You gesture vaguely over your shoulder without turning. “Just take that.”
The bathroom door clicks closed again, and you clutch the belt of your housecoat over your diaphragm. 
You need a drink. 
You cross your home to the cabinet in your kitchen, reaching to the back of the nearly-bare shelf and pulling out a dusty old bottle that’s been there since your father died. It wouldn’t have lasted a day if he were still living, and you’ve made it years without ever so much as cracking it open. 
Today however, you feel it’s well-deserved. 
The dust caked on the bottle smears against your palm as you open it, and you wipe the grime furiously against the material of your housecoat as you pour a long glug of the amber liquor into a waiting glass. It’s vile, lukewarm from the constant heat of your home, and burns every inch of the way down—but as you set the empty glass back onto the counter, you still find yourself grateful for it. 
You pour another drink. 
“Take it easy,” you hear a voice say behind you, accompanied by a breathy little laugh.
You turn and see Vash hovering not far from you, his black turtleneck folded over one arm and your father’s shirt over his no-longer-bare chest. His hair is wet, a towel draped around his shoulders just like yours, and he’s taken off his usual eyewear. The mole underneath his eye seems more prominent now that he’s scrubbed himself clean.
Your empty glass dangles from the tips of your fingers, the acerbic taste of the liquor lingering on your tongue. You hold it out to him in offering, and he scrunches up his nose a little bit. 
“I really shouldn’t—“
“It’s rude to turn down a drink your host is offering you, y’know.”
Things like rudeness don’t mean anything to anyone these days, least of all yourself. Decency is a luxury few people can afford. 
Vash sighs, still smiling, and takes the glass from you. Your fingers brush as it passes from your hand to his, and then you take the bottle and pour another healthy splash into the waiting cup. He brings it to his lips, wincing against the fumes alone that waft up from the glass. 
“It’s better if you don’t sip it,” you offer him, though even then you know the guidance doesn’t help much.
He tips it back and drains it.
Two drinks were enough to have you feeling woozy, but you pour yourself a third for good measure. You spare Vash the pain of another, much to his apparent relief, and let him off with just the one before tucking the half-drained bottle back into the cupboard you’d dug it out of. 
When you turn around again, Vash is crouched down, examining something on the ground. 
Your boot. The one you’d thrown at him earlier. 
He peers up at you from the floor, he lifts the shoe slightly. 
“It broke again.”
A memory floods back to you then, unbidden. 
Sitting side by side with Vash on the edge of the steps outside the same house you live in now, but when the way you lived was different. The plant had just been repaired, and there was a palpable feeling of effervescent joy sizzling through the town around you. An uncharacteristic camaraderie amongst the people of Jeneora Rock as the celebration of Vash’s handiwork spreading through the narrow, grimy streets. The two of you were away from it all, sitting quietly together in a strange sort of celebration of your own.
You were less a woman than you were a girl back then, but still somehow neither. He’d patched the sole of your boot back on when it had ripped loose. And you’d laughed when he handed it back to you with an endearingly clumsy flourish, the sound as high and bright as the sun that hung in the sky overhead. You still remember the way your laughter had made his smile grow.
The patch job had lasted a year. You’d sobbed the day it came loose again, just shortly after the death of your father. You’d been using twine tied tightly around the toe of the boot to hold it together ever since.
Vash blinks up at you from the ground as you stare down at him with what you’re sure is a vacant look in your eyes. 
“I brought you something,” he says, hopping up and skittering over to his rucksack with your boot still in his hand. He rifles around in the bag for a moment, his mechanical arm shoulder deep as he roots for what he’s looking for. His eyebrows shoot up and he grins when he locates it—a wide, brilliant smile splitting across his face as he pulls his arm out. 
He holds his find up in triumph. 
You look at it with narrowed eyes.
“What… is it?” you ask, after a moment of trying to identify the small, relatively unremarkable little container in his hand.
“Boot glue!” he says excitedly, waving it in front of your face. “I thought of you when I saw it! The merchant wanted an arm and a leg for it but I managed to—”
Tears have sprung up in your eyes against your will, and you quickly turn away from him to hide them from his sight. 
“Hey, are you okay?” Vash’s voice is softer now, less enthusiastic and more concerned. 
That softness is what upsets you more than anything. Tenderness is a foreign thing in the desolation of the wastelands.
“Thank you,” you say quietly, scrubbing your hand over your stinging eyes. 
For thinking of me.
For knowing that you’d come back.
You leave that part off, but you feel it just as much as what you say.
You drain that third glass that’s been sitting on the counter waiting for you, hoping the burn of the liquor as it sloshes down your throat to your stomach will give you something else to focus on. Or, if nothing else, that it might numb the sudden pain that’s laid roots down in your core.
Vash sits at the table as he patches up your boot under the lamplight, much like he had the first time. You watch him from the chair in the corner, under the shuttered window, with your knees drawn up into your seat with you. You’re more shameless now than you had been while he cleaned his gun, observing him keenly as he scrubs your boot with a rag and leftover water from the dish pan. He makes sure no more grime clings to it before he carefully smears a thick layer of the glue along the sole, pressing down firmly to make sure the adhesion takes. He holds the boot up in front of him when he’s done, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth, eyeing it from every angle to survey his own work.
You watch him just as raptly. 
He turns in his seat once he’s satisfied, holding the boot up. 
“All done!” he says, hopping up to his feet and shuffling towards you. He crouches down in front of you and holds out his hand expectantly. Slowly, you stick your foot out, and he cradles it gently in his roughened palm.
Carefully he slips the boot onto your foot, tightening the laces once it’s fully in place. 
“How’s it feel?” he asks you, peeking up at you from his place on the floor. 
“Feels good,” you reply, with an equally breathy tone. 
The lamplight doesn’t reach this corner of the room quite as brightly as it does at the table, but you can still make out a blush that sits high and pretty at the top of Vash’s cheeks. You wonder if he’s starting to feel the flush thanks to the liquor, or if maybe it’s something else entirely. 
“G-good!” he stammers a little, fiddling with the laces at your ankle. “I’m glad!”
“That glue must have been expensive,” you say. “Thank you, Vash.”
He shoots you a smile as he loops his fingers through the laces. “It's the least I could do, especially with you putting me up for the night.”
For the night. 
Just for the night. 
The reminder makes you ache a little.
Vash helps you slip your boot off again, carrying it over to the door and setting it down beside its mate.
“I’ll leave this here for you, in case you need it again,” he says, screwing the top back onto the little pot of adhesive at the table. “There’s not much left, but there’s some.”
You nod from your seat in the corner, one leg up and one leg still down—your nightdress drawn up to your knee from when he’d helped you into your boot. 
Vash ruffles the hair at the nape of his neck, dry now after his bath. Yours remains a little damp, but you’re sure it won’t last long as the residual heat from the day still hangs in the air even though the sun has long set. 
“It’s late,” he finally says after a moment. “You should sleep.”
You hum in agreement, moving to stand from your chair. The room spins slightly around you, those three glasses you’d knocked back sneaking up on you while you’d been sitting down. Your foot hooks in the hem of your nightdress because of the way you’d been sitting, but before you can stumble theres a strong arm wrapped around your waist to keep you steady. A warmth pressing into you as your face meets a heaving chest.
“Let’s get you to bed,” Vash murmurs, his grip on you tightening for the briefest moment. 
Your hands clutch at his shirt, and you don’t meet his eyes as you nod, letting him lead you towards your bedroom. 
Your hands fumble at the belt of your nightdress, pulling it off and tossing the garment across the end of your bed as Vash helps you onto the mattress. You tuck your feet under the thin sheet before leaning back against your pillows, and Vash is quick to turn and head towards the door after helping you pull it up to your waist.
“Wait,” you call to him before he can retreat. He pauses in the doorway, glancing at you over his shoulder. “Where are you going to sleep?”
You hadn’t thought much about this, and you ought to have considered it earlier. You only have the one bed, but you have two pillows you can share and a spare blanket in the trunk at the end of it that you could offer him if he wants to sleep on the floor. 
But you don’t want to tell him that.
“I’ll just take the chair,” he says with a blithe smile, jutting his thumb towards the armchair in the other room. 
It won’t be comfortable. You know that from experience, having fallen asleep there a few times yourself after a particularly gruelling day. The stuffing is lumpy and the springs are painful if you press against them the wrong way. You know he won’t complain about it. You even know that it’s probably still more comfortable than lots of other places he’s rested his head over the past two years. 
But you want to be selfish.
For once you don’t want to be alone. 
“Vash,” you say quietly, and you watch his entire body go rigid at the sudden bare vulnerability of your tone. “Please stay with me.”
You’d asked him the same thing once before, but different. The words once murmured desperately against his lips as you clung to his red jacket. Staring at him with eyes full of hope and a freshly patched boot on your foot. 
He’d looked at you the same way back then too. That smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. As gentle of a no that he could ever offer you.
“I know you have to leave,” you murmur, eyes downcast to your hands as they rest atop your lap. “I don’t expect anything like that from you. I know it’s just for tonight.”
“Please don’t cry.”
The bed dips beside you, and Vash tilts your face up towards him. He looks troubled when you meet his gaze, even in the dim light of your bedroom you can make out the conflict on his features. It’s strange to see him not smiling, wrong almost.
But your eyes are dry.
“Stay,” you repeat yourself, meeting his gaze resolutely. You swallow hard over the lump in your throat, bracing yourself for the impending sear of rejection. 
Vash cups your cheeks in his hands, and you can’t tell if it’s your cheeks or his touch that feels so warm.
“You deserve someone that can say yes to that and mean it properly,” he says ruefully, not dissimilarly to what he’d said the first time you’d asked the very same thing of him.
“I’m not asking anyone else,” you whisper, “I’m asking you."
You wonder if your mouth still tastes like liquor as Vash’s tongue dips inside of it, hovering over you as you lay sprawled across your bed. 
It didn’t start like this, of course. The first kiss had been gentle, hesitant even—like Vash wasn’t quite sure if he was going to see it through at all, poised to flee at any moment. But neither of you could deny how right it felt when his lips brushed yours, an immediate wash of relief and of unadulterated want inundating you all at once. You’d been the one to crane up and bridge the gap, but soon Vash was crawling into your bed overtop of you, easing you back to lay flat as he succumbed to the same need you felt thrumming through your veins.
Your hands are tangled in his hair now—a gesture that earned you a pitchy, needy little groan from him as your fingers twisted through the blonde strands. It only seemed to make him more eager as he parted his lips against your own in a deeper kiss.
There’s something a little clumsy about it all, an eagerness and inexperience to every touch and graze. But it’s not the same as it was at first, no longer hesitant or wary—his reservations have been peeled away as surely as the clothes the two of you are wearing, until you feel nothing but his skin against your own.
Vash’s hands are as greedy and rapacious as his mouth; touching, grabbing, grazing anything he can reach. His calloused fingers cup themselves around the swell of your chest, squeezing lightly, and when you reward him with a little moan it stokes the flames of his curiosity, and his touch moves to the pebbled bud of your nipple next. He rolls it tentatively between his fingers, pinching ever so slightly, and when you gasp against his mouth, arching further into his touch, he makes his own little pleased sound of surprise before lavishing your other breast with equal attention. 
His metal hand touches you more gingerly than the other, and he tends to favour the one made of flesh and bone. The contrast in sensations is a little disorienting—smooth, hard metal versus the life-roughened heat of skin on skin. It’s dizzying. You want more.
“Vash,” you murmur against his mouth. 
Your lips are stinging now from the constant kissing. He’s scarcely left your mouth uncovered by his own since they first connected, but at your hoarse whisper of his name he pulls back slightly, watching your face for any sign of reproach. 
“Touch me more, please,” you say to him, cupping his cheeks as he presses his forehead into yours, both of you sharing the same breath in the little space between you.
He makes a sound halfway between a grunt and a hum, nodding a little, and kisses you again as his hands slip further down your willing, waiting form.
If he’s surprised by the wet wet heat he finds between your legs, it doesn’t stop him. One finger and then two find their way inside you slowly; he moves in gentle thrusts and scissoring motions that have your jaw going slack. His palm presses against the swell of your clit, and each time your hips jump it grinds into the heel of his palm, earning a keen from the back of your throat.
“Feels good?” Vash trails kisses up the top of your cheek until his lips are by your ear. His breathing is laboured and the air of each breath is hot as it ghosts across your skin. Your tongue feels leaden, but you nod repeatedly, wrapping your arms around his neck and keeping him close.
“Yeah,” you finally manage to breathe out, “’s good.”
It’s even better when you feel the stretch of him pressing himself inside.
The sound that’s pulled from the depth of Vash’s broad chest as he carves his way into you makes your toes curl—high and sweet and desperate.
“’S hot,” he slurs, his hips giving a shallow, desperate thrust.
He’s needy, pulling you closer as he moves you how he wants you. He loops your knees up over his elbows, his mouth frantically finding it’s way back to yours as the weight of his entire body bears down on you. 
The next thrust is harder, deeper. And the pace only increases after that.
The rickety headboard of your old bed knocks against the wall each time he brings his hips down against yours. It’s loud, but so is the sound of skin on skin, and you have the distant thought as the bed frame creaks that it sounds like it might splinter underneath you—but you don’t find it in yourself to care as the pressure in you core steadily builds, threatening to burst. It blinds and deafens you to anything but the pulse that pounds in your throat. It makes your fingers curl against the skin of Vash’s shoulder blades until your nails dig into skin.
He’s still kissing you, wet and messy and noisy as his tongue presses into your mouth. He never stops kissing you.
It's nice to be with someone. To be touched. To feel wanted and needed.
Especially by him.
Your eyes flutter open, and as though he can sense your gaze on him Vash’s do the same. His expression is heavy-lidded as he pants, a little drop of sweat sitting high on the edge of his blushing cheek. He smiles a little, a soft, gentle expression you’ve never seen before.
A tenderness in his gaze unlike any you’ve ever experienced.
The pressure in your core comes undone.
He takes your face in his hands as pleasure rips through you like a sandstorm, blistering and unescapable. He’s still kissing you. Keeping you so near. In the haze it’s hard to tell where you end and he begins, everything clouded into something thats both and somehow neither. Something new.
“Close,” Vash whines, grinding his hips down against your own.
Your muscles ache, the pleasure has worn you raw, and your lungs are pricking with the need for a full deep breath you haven’t been able to draw into them now for some time. But even so, you don’t want it to be over. Can’t bear the thought of being apart.
The headboard rattles a few more times, and then the pressure between your legs is gone as Vash pulls out and spatters his spend across your stomach with a long, low groan.
It’s hot. The mess on your skin, the sweat that clings to you, the paltry breaths of air you draw into your lungs. Even the sheets of your bed have absorbed the heat from both of your bodies, sticking to your skin as you collapse into them in boneless heaps, chests heaving and hearts racing side by side.
You tilt your face towards the boy crowded into your narrow bed beside you, and find him watching you expectantly.
“You okay?” he asks, brushing a piece of hair away from your eyes.
You hum, leaning into his touch.
Vash’s gaze travels down your body, eyeing the mess he’s made of you with wide eyes. He pops up suddenly, clambering out of bed and tripping clumsily over the sheet that’s fallen half-way off the mattress as he skitters out the door. You’re not too worried that he’s going far, considering he’s still stark naked, but you watch the doorway curiously as you wait for him to return.
When he does, he has a cloth in hand—still damp from your bath earlier in the evening. As gently as he can, Vash cleans you up; the cloth cool is against your sticky skin, and feels nice. Once he’s satisfied with his handiwork, he presses a kiss to the valley between your ribs, lifting his face to smile up at you.
You shoot him a feeble smile back.
He slips into bed beside you once more, crawling up towards the pillows and pulling the rumpled sheet up to your chins as he goes. He settles in, and with one sweep of his arm he tucks you safely against his chest, with your ear resting over his heart. His hand pats gently along the back of your hair down your spine, keeping you close to him.
Vash smells good. Clean and comforting. It makes you think of the place your mother told you about once. You wonder if he smells like that place, or maybe even better.
You wonder if he’s ever been there before.
You wonder if he’d tell you if you asked.
You open your eyes, though the effort pains you in your exhaustion, and you see him peering back at you. Vash’s lips pull into a smile, but it's one of the ones that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. An expression that you know is more for you than it is for himself.
You think the two of you have a lot in common, then. That maybe the two of you understand the same loneliness. The same feeling of being haunted.
Your ghosts live on in the trunk at the end of your bed and at the back of your cupboard, covered in dust, tucked away out of sight. 
Vash’s live on inside of him, and it’s where he seems determined to keep them. 
In that moment you know that even if you were to ask, he’d tell you nothing—and he’d do it for your own sake.
Tomorrow you’ll wake and the air will smell bitter and burnt, and he’ll be gone, but your boot will be mended, and the little pot of glue will remind you he was there. But tonight you’ll dream about the place your Mama told you about, and tomorrow you’ll still have the smell that clings to your sheets. So for now, the world smells different. 
And that has to be enough.
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lost-technology · 8 months ago
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SEEDS Security Codes and Why They Matter
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So, I've been thinking about one of the details in Trigun: Stampede that was not present in either '98 or the manga. In '98, Knives just hacking into the SEEDS codes was left as-is. He walked up to Captain Joey and shot him and apparently took his pilot's seat. Did the Captain have the navigation open at the time? Was it closed and Knives had to do some hacking? Anyway, there, he did it on his own. Now, in Trigun Maximum, which treats Vash and Knives' childhood differently (just Rem there raising them), there is a foreshadowing of what is to come. In Volume 6, Rem is depicted waking up to an emergency signal in the middle of her sleeping-hours. (Aw, she sleeps in her regular clothes, mom-jeans and all...). Panicked, she yells at Knives for him and Vash to lock themselves in their rooms and not to come out or speak up for ANY reason, even if they hear voices outside. She tries to handle the situation, but it goes from bad to worse and the automatic crew-wakening protocol goes into effect, which she is very concerned about (for reasons that we who have read the manga know about)!
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In the beginning of Volume 7 the crew wakes up, there's a situation-update. The ships are going off-course and will collide if things are not corrected. They're working through the issues and suddenly, there's an unknown factor that kicks in to correct the course. Rem then gets the crew all settled back in again for nappy-time... And proceeds immediately to Vash and Knives, where she scolds Knives with (Rem's angry mom-face, my beloved)! Knives was playing around with the ship codes and systems. He'd apparently hacked his way into the system and was curious about SEEDS' functions. (One would assume that Rem changed some of the codes after this, but I bet they were in some kind of hacking-war, with her trying to stay one step above curious Plant-twins). Knives did not mean to nearly cause a catastrophe, but this shows that he can and is a foreshadowing to when he DOES mean to cause one later. Now, in Trigun Stampede, it is stated by Nai / Knives that Vash gave him the ship-codes, also that he spent a lot of time and trouble changing the codes for every human ship. (The manga lists the ship they are born on as the Mothership, presumably guiding the entire fleet, in Stampede, it is just Ship 5, which implies multiple guides with multiple navigators). I am wondering where Studio Orange is going with this. Will it be a situation like the manga where the kids are just playing around? Little prank-war with Rem? Maybe Vash is sharing a ship code innocently, as part of their games? Or is it going to be darker, more sinister? I wonder if Vash was originally of the thought of "maybe we need to crash the ships and kill all humans (except Rem) because they're scary and dangerous because of what happened to Tesla" and then had a change of heart and backed out of it? - I can see that happening... him having his cathartic alone-time with Rem as in the manga and then talking things out with Nai and thinking that they weren't going to go through with it. And then Nai betrays him. I've been wondering about the guilt Vash carries over the Big Fall in Stampede. Is it an unnecessary, undue guilt like he seems to have about a lot of things? Or is there a guilt born from "I had originally planned disaster / we had originally planned disaster" and it came true even after he'd backed out? It's just that... in both '98 and Maximum, he does carry his cross (that is not Wolfwood's), but he seems to feel less specifically guilty over this (the Big Fall). He's really more like "Knives, how could you do this to everyone / Rem?!" He just seems more guilt-ridden in Stampede than in the other media and I am wondering if there is a dark secret behind it. I can see it going either way.
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anyasathenaeum · 5 months ago
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Our Father, Who Art In Heaven (98!WW X Reader Smut)
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A/N: Hey everybody, I'm baaaaack! It's been a bit of a stressful and busy time, but hopefully you guys can enjoy this. I actually wrote this piece well over a year ago privately (for my dearest and best friend, @vanille-sweet, who has kindly granted me permission to alter and share this work so you can all enjoy it!). Literally nobody asked for this but here, have it anyways. I went with 98!WW here. Please be nice. Warnings: MINORS DNI!, AFAB!Reader (female terms used), smut (lots of it), sacrilege (y'all get nasty in a church), oral (female receiving), P in V sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT, FOLKS), a tiny hint of exhibitionism towards the end, WW has a thing for being called "Father" (does that count as a daddy kink?...), no established relationship
Time on the road was wearing you down.
Slowly but surely, you felt your resilience and your drive to continue beginning to die out. Everything was becoming too much for you to handle. From the chaos of being around Vash, all the people hunting him down and, by extension, you and the others, to just constantly moving from town to town, you found yourself exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, you were drained.
What you hadn't expected was to find solace and a moment of peace in a place you had only stepped foot into maybe once before - a church. It was nothing special - no beautiful stained glass windows, no huge arches, no beautiful, expensive chandeliers. Just a small building with an alter, a confessional, and a bunch of small, wooden pews for those wishing to pray in this tiny town.
You now found yourself sitting in one of those pews, entirely alone in the whole building, left to be with your thoughts and emotions and try to sort yourself out. You sighed heavily, resting your head on the pew in front of you, shutting your eyes tightly as your exhaustion coursed through you.
"Hey, pretty lady, whatcha doing here in the house of the Lord?"
The sudden voice scared the crap out of you, causing you to yelp and jump straight out of your skin, turning to see Wolfwood standing there, smiling coolly as if he hadn't just scared you.
"Oh, Wolfwood, it's just you. You startled me," You replied, letting out a deep breath and lean back against the pew where you were sitting, your gaze going straight up to the ceiling as you answered him, "I'm just... thinking."
Wolfwood didn't say anything as he approached you, sitting directly next to you in the same pew. Once he had been seated, he spoke softly.
"Thinking about what? You don't look too happy, I gotta say. It's not a good look on you, (Y/N)."
You just scoffed and shot him a look, "That's rich, coming from you, Mr. Preacher Man."
That drew a chuckle from the priest, who brought his arm around your shoulders and drew you in close to him, bringing a blush you hoped he wouldn't see to your cheeks.
"Seriously, (Y/N). What's on your mind?"
He spoke softer, his voice gentler than before. Wolfwood always surprised you with how kind he could be - you never anticipated it, for some reason. But right now, you didn't mind one bit. It felt nice, having just one person there with you right now, and Wolfwood seemed like the perfect person to talk to about your troubles.
"I just..." You sighed out, "I'm struggling to keep going on. Constantly being on the run is starting to drain me. I wish I could just... stay somewhere for a little. Forget about life for a moment. You know?"
Wolfwood was smiling down at you softly as you spoke, nodding his head in understanding, "Yeah, I get it. It's a lot. But you're strong, pretty lady. Don't doubt that for a second."
You felt your blush darkening as you looked away from him for a moment, quietly mumbling "Thanks, Wolfwood" in return.
Of course, though, Wolfwood noticed your blush and tilted your head towards him, his fingers under your jaw firm in their motion but somehow still gentle. You felt your heart rate hit the roof as you looked up at him - he was exceptionally handsome. You always knew as much, but now... it felt like you were really seeing him for the first time. His dark skin, his eyes, his curved nose, his muscled figure, his dark hair, everything was suddenly hitting you all at once and the thoughts going through your mind were bordering on unholy for being in such a holy place.
"Ya know... you're pretty much in confessional right now, pretty lady. Got any sins you wanna get off your chest?"
Wolfwood's tone was sultry and gently teasing, his dark eyes scanning your face for signs of a reaction to his comment. You, however, took this as a challenge and decided not to make it easy for him.
"My sins are all I have left in my life, Father," You replied, your own tone dropping and silky smooth as you answered, "I have nothing but my sins to hold onto."
You could see Wolfwood's face changing colour at your answer, and you could see him swallowing hard as he processed your tone and your words. You had succeeded in flustering the priest back just as he had flustered you, and a sense of pride swelled in your chest.
After a few moments, Wolfwood had recovered and immediately took it one step further, bringing his face down close to yours. So close that you could feel his breath fanning across your skin as he spoke.
"Then... why don't I give you something else to hold onto?"
Your eyes widened at what he was insinuating - he couldn't possibly be serious. Could he?
"My, my, Wolfwood... are you suggesting what I think you are? And in a church, no less?"
Your tone was teasing, but you genuinely wanted to know if Wolfwood was seriously asking you if you wanted to sleep with him in a church. You knew that if Wolfwood was even the slightest bit serious in his teasing, you would accept without hesitation. It had been forever since you'd had sex with anybody, and the last time it had been some random stranger in a one-night stand. But Wolfwood... that would be sex to remember.
Wolfwood grinned cheekily at you, bringing himself closer until his lips were mere centimeters away from yours, "What's the point of absolving people of sin if they have no sins to absolve, eh, pretty lady? Makes my job more interesting."
"Oh, so I'm just a job to you, then?" You snapped at him - there was no way you were gonna let him get away with this.
You weren't making it easy for him to get into your pants, regardless of how badly you wanted it. You stood up, scoffing as you walked past him and begun walking towards the alter of the church, pretending to be upset with him to get him riled up.
"Hey, wait, I'm sorry, (Y/N). That's not what I meant, I just-" Wolfwood was explaining as he followed you up to where you stood at the front of the church, "I just meant-"
You couldn't keep it in any longer, bursting into laughter at his attempts to fix the "damage" he had done. The look of confusion and disbelief on his face was worth it, causing you to laugh harder.
"Oh, Wolfwood! Your face!" You were laughing hysterically, almost doubling over from laughing as you heard him grumbling under his breath. Once you recovered from your laughing fit, you turned to Wolfwood and walked up to him, getting all up in his personal space the way he had done with you earlier.
"So... Father... you gonna punish me for my sins?"
Your tone was sultry and silky again, low and seductive as your breath ghosted over his skin. You could see the goosebumps raising across Wolfwood's skin at your words, and you knew then and there you had him hook, line and sinker.
Sure enough, without saying another word, Wolfwood was pressing you up against the wall near the alter of the church, his lips pressing against yours in a passionate, messy, heated kiss. You could feel every muscled plane of Wolfwood's body pressing against yours, your arms coming up to wrap around his neck as you kissed him back hungrily.
"God..."
The whisper that escaped Wolfwood was breathless, as if the kiss and the taste and feeling of you had knocked the wind straight out of him. You just smirked up at him, panting slightly.
"I thought you weren't supposed to use the Lord's name in vain, Father."
The growl that left Wolfwood's throat was beyond primal, and you soon found yourself with his lips pressed against yours once more, his tongue soon exploring your mouth as yours explored his, relishing his taste and the feeling of him against you. His leg nudged yours apart, and you let out a stifled moan into his mouth as his thigh brushed against your clothed core, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body.
"N-Nicholas," You moaned out, panting more heavily than before, struggling to find words as you felt his thigh continuing to brush against your core.
The smirk on Wolfwood's face was large, and it only grew as he brought his hand down to wrestle your pants off, revealing your underwear and the extremely noticeable wet spot forming on them from your arousal.
"Well, well, well, pretty lady," Wolfwood growled, "Seems somebody's enjoying herself."
"More," You moaned out, not caring of the location anymore - you wanted Wolfwood and you wanted him now, "More, Nicholas, please, more."
"Shhh, (Y/N). Don't you know patience is a virtue?" Wolfwood teased you gently, his fingers beginning to rub circles over your clit through your underwear, drawing more beautiful moans out of you.
"S-Sorry, Father," You replied, a small smile appearing on your lips as a groan escaped from Wolfwood as you spoke the word "Father" - it confirmed your suspicions that Wolfwood got turned on being called as such.
"Good girl," Wolfwood praised you, before kneeling down in front of you.
He slowly but surely pulled your underwear down and off of your body, before lifting one of your legs and letting it rest over his shoulder, raising your leg slightly and exposing your pussy to him, dripping wet from his touch and his taste and his words. The moan Wolfwood let out at the sight of your pussy had you blushing, and then you suddenly heard him mumbling something lowly. It took you a few moments to realize that he was praying.
"N-Nick?" You whined, shifting slightly as you desperately wanted him to touch you, even if only for half a second, but Wolfwood just continued praying until you were whining more and more. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you heard Wolfwood mumble "Amen", signaling he was done praying.
"What was that?" You asked, looking down at him, your face flushed red as you gazed at the man who was level with your pussy.
A devilishly charming smile appeared on his face as he replied simply, as if stating the most obvious thing in the world, "I was saying grace and giving thanks for the meal I'm about to have."
Your expression became one of confusion, but before you could understand what Wolfwood had meant, Wolfwood leaned forward and immediately begin to eat you out like a starved man.
You almost shrieked at how amazing it felt, your hands burying themselves in the priest's dark hair as he continued to lick your pussy, alternating between licking and sucking and fucking you with his tongue. You had all but lost the ability to form coherent words, the only thing leaving you being moans, high-pitched whines, whimpers and Wolfwood's name on repeat.
"God, (Y/N), you taste incredible," Wolfwood moaned into your pussy, causing your cheeks to heat up and a particularly loud moan to slip from your lips.
You couldn't say anything in response, only bucking your hips so that Wolfwood could fuck you with his tongue a bit deeper, and suck on your clit just a touch harder.
The pressure within you was building, the coil of pleasure tightening more and more until you were right near the edge. As if reading your body and your thoughts, Wolfwood continued to eat you out but then slipped one of his fingers into your pussy, causing you to cry out. The sudden intrusion was welcomed, with you bucking your hips more as you chased your high, moaning louder and louder. Then, to your surprise, you felt Wolfwood moving his finger within you in a "come-hither" motion, grazing over that spongy spot inside you perfectly until you cried out and the coil of pleasure suddenly snapped, your orgasm washing over you in waves, over and over.
Wolfwood didn't move from your pussy, continuing to lick you and eat you out until you were completely down from your orgasm. When he finally withdrew, he was smirking widely, your slick all over his lips and chin, even as he pressed forward and kissed you, causing you to moan loudly as your tasted yourself on his lips and on his tongue. You don't know how, but this man, this priest, was making you feel better than anybody else ever had.
You simply continued to kiss Wolfwood passionately, your hands coming down to fumble with his belt, all but ripping it open and pulling his pants down enough so that you could palm his rock-hard cock. You gasped slightly at the feeling of Wolfwood, and you realized that this man was BIG. You cleared your throat, feeling your cheeks turning a bright red as you spoke up softly.
"Nicholas, a-are you sure you're gonna... fit?"
The smile on Wolfwood's face was big, and you could hear him chuckle as he leaned in for another passionate kiss.
"Don't worry, (Y/N), I think we got you well prepared to take it."
With that, Wolfwood pressed you back into the wall, lifting your leg into the crook of his elbow, stretching you open a bit more so that he could glide his cock over your pussy, letting out a moan as he watched and felt his cock brush against your slick, soft skin. If it was up to him, Wolfwood would've already been fucking you hard. But he knew this was the first time you two were together like this, so he should play nice.
"God, I've wanted you for so long, sweetheart."
You almost missed his words, your eyes widening at the priest's confession, your mind wandering away from the feeling of his cock against your pussy for a moment as you processed that. You just smirked in reply.
"Well, now you have me. Make it good, Wolfwood, and I'll consider doing this with you again."
Not needing to be issued the challenge twice, Wolfwood immediately adjusted himself so that his cockhead caught on your entrance, and in one slow, steady thrust, sheathed himself completely within you.
The cry of his name that left your throat as he did so would forever be engraved in Wolfwood's mind, and it would be something he'd strive to hear again and again for every day for the rest of his life. The feeling of your warm, tight walls clenching down around him was SO much better than he'd envisioned all those times he'd touched himself to the thought of fucking you. This was incomparable.
"O-Oh, God, (Y/N)..."
The broken moan that slipped from Wolfwood's lips made you clench tighter around him, pulling another moan from him in return. He was already so stupidly close to cumming, it was unbelievable. Just the feeling of sliding into you and feeling you around him was enough to get him close to the edge.
On your end, the sting of the stretch of Wolfwood entering you surprised you, causing you to hiss a bit at the feeling - he really was big. You hadn't ever been stretched as much during sex as you were being right now, and it was enough for you to know that you'd definitely want to fuck Wolfwood again and again and again. He just made you feel so full. It was incredible, feeling him pressed up inside you, his cock pressing on all the right places just sitting within you, not even moving yet.
"I-" You hiccupped, trying hard to form words, "You can move, now."
Wolfwood was now the one unable to speak, taking a moment before nodding and pulling himself out of you slowly before thrusting back into you hard. Immediately you moaned, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck and pulling him down so you could kiss him. You and Wolfwood were moaning into each other's mouths as he fucked you at the alter of the church, with you begging him to move faster, thrust harder as that familiar coil of pleasure began to build within you again, faster than ever before.
"F-Father, I- I'm gonna-" You stuttered, your voice high-pitched and breathless as all you could focus on was the feeling of his cock stretching you out over and over, brushing over that spot deep inside you that drove you closer and closer to the edge.
"Cum for me, (Y/N), cum for me," Wolfwood growled, his hands grabbing your ass with a grip tight enough that you were sure he'd bruise you and slamming your hips forward in time with his thrusts, somehow going even deeper than he was going before.
Just feeling him grip you and manhandle you like that and hearing him growl alongside all the other sensations raging through your body immediately brought you straight over the edge, you crying out Wolfwood's name over and over as you came again, clenching down on him harder than ever before, milking his cock as you came on him.
That feeling of you squeezing him harder, your walls fluttering on his cock brought Wolfwood to the brink in an instant, another broken moan escaping his lips as he thrusted into you a few final times, "I'm cumming, oh, God, (Y/N), I'm cumming!"
You felt Wolfwood thrust into you one final time, all the way to the hilt and a warm feeling bloomed within your abdomen, signaling that Wolfwood had made good on his promise, cumming deep inside you. Both of you were panting hard as he let your leg down, his cock slipping from within you, both of you letting out a moan as he did so.
"O-Oh, my God..." You panted, your legs shaking as you looked at the priest, your eyes shining from the afterglow of your orgasm, "Nicholas, th-that was amazing..."
Wolfwood simply grinned at you as if he hadn't just fucked you better than any other man had before, before pulling his pants back up and getting himself more cleaned up. As you went to put your underwear back on, Wolfwood reached out and slapped your wrist.
"Ah, ah, ah. Leave those off."
You just gave him a confused look as he began to walk towards the entrance of the church, calling out, "What, why? Wolfwood, I can't walk back to the inn with no underwear on."
The priest smirked as he answered, "Yes, you can. Because I hope to sin with you again tonight the minute we get back to the inn. What do you think about that?"
You let out a small laugh, your pussy clenching at the thought of Wolfwood fucking you again tonight, and you could feel the combination of his and your cum beginning to trickle down your thighs. Regardless, you began to follow Wolfwood out of the church, heading back to the inn.
"I think I'm gonna have to actually go to confessional after all this."
And you couldn't have been happier.
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collieii · 2 years ago
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one line in trimax that's always stuck with me is from chapter 65, right after wolfwood's death. when vash is sticking the punisher by his grave and he says "it was part of his life". that phrasing is so interesting to me. the neutrality of it is one thing that gets me, i think. it was part of his life. for better or worse, whatever it was, the punisher was wolfwood's.
It's pretty easy to think that the punisher might represent violence, the eye of michael, the role of assassin that was forced onto wolfwood, the loss of childhood. but it's not really presented that way, not overtly anyways. we never see wolfwood shun the punisher, he's not conflicted by his use of it. he never considers abandoning it for some other weapon. it's his weapon. he doesn't discard it when he eventually decides to take a more vash-like approach and actually let people live. he pretty easily accepts it as his own, a tool he can use. (to be fair, at least part of that is probably because the punisher is a very good gun.)
the punisher can still represent the harsher aspects of wolfwood's character, the violence he's committed, that he's capable of. that's an important part of his life! and the idea of it as representative of his violent adolescence, childhood that was stripped away, goes along with this - it's literally a cross to bear. but besides showing his past as a burden, i think of the punisher as being a cross of responsibility. when you have a gun you have power, agency - you have a responsibility to make a choice. that's what wolfwood tells vash in chapter 4.
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the ability to take a life, the burden of it, is literally his cross to bear. that ability - and that responsibility - was given to him by the eom, literally in terms of the gun, and in terms of his skills. but the eye doesn't think twice about killing people. for them it's not really a choice, a responsibility, it's just a given. but wolfwood can't accept that. he's constantly considering the choices he makes.
so the punisher isn't only a symbol of the eye of michael, of the path that he was forced onto. it's also a way of expressing autonomy. the eye gave wolfwood the gun, but he decides how to use it and what it means. for much of the story wolfwood struggles to decide what to do, he's a very conflicted character. but eventually he resolves to use it against chapel, against knives, to help vash, and protect the orphanage. the gun gives him agency.
so the punisher was part of his life. it was the tool that he used to commit acts of violence, acts that he was forced into, but also the tool he used to break free.
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it's heavy for vash, too. he's not exempt from that idea, the idea of responsibility. as wolfwood said much earlier in the story, vash has always been able to sidestep the question of "what do i choose?", because he's only ever given himself one option - everybody lives. and he's always succeeded. but as wolfwood says, "the day will come when you'll have to choose". one day, it's not going to work.
and of course the story progresses, the stakes ramp up, and vash learns more, goes through more, and is pushed to his limits. i think by this point, by wolfwood's death, and maybe because of it, vash has realized that he might have to make that difficult choice in the near future. that's one reason why he wants to "do him proud". he has a lot of reasons to say this of course - to not let wolfwood's sacrifice go to waste, for example. but if we're thinking of the cross as responsibility, then vash is saying he doesn't want to forget the lessons he learned because of wolfwood. wolfwood has always grappled with responsibility, with what the right thing to do is. and the right thing is often not easy. vash hopes that when the times comes for him to make a choice, he'll make a good one, one that does right by wolfwood's memory.
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wonderwomanfantasy · 2 years ago
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Hi, it's your favorite anon, Vash getting jealous of other flowers and remarking his partner as soon as possible sounds nice (is his pollen as hard to get rid of as glitter? imagine it stuck in their hair). Now tell me about Knives.
wow I'm so glad you asked about knives completely unprompted hehe but first, you did ask about Vash and the flower thing so let me expand:
Imagine Vash taking you to a sanctuary, watching as you run through the field in amazement, you've never seen plants and flowers like this, and for a while, Vash is just so happy that he got to be there as you saw this all for the first time. the look on your face is priceless and he's just happy you're happy.
then he gets this weird feeling in his chest when he sees you touching and smelling the flowers, getting your face close to the petals, and smelling them. It reminds him of when you go down on him. He knows its crazy to get jealous that you're smelling a flower but then he sees you have pollen on your fingers and he has half a mind to fuck you right there out in the open, pressing your body down into the flower bed and reminding everyone here (he means the flowers) who you belong to. and to be clear when Vash says that you belong to him, he also means that he belongs to you, which is why you don't see him running around flirting with all the flora now do you?
he would never do that tho...pin you down and fuck you in public I mean. he's still a little insecure when it comes to sex, he's hesitant to ask for it let alone ask for it in such an open place like this, but when the two of you get home he will pin you to the bed and ask if you like his flower just as much as the others.
as for the pollen... it's a nightmare, it's fine and sticky and ends up all over you, it's hell trying to scrape that shit off, made even worse by the fact that Vash looks so genuinely hurt when you try to clean it off. that he won't say anything but he'll just look at you with those big sad puppy dog eyes and now you feel guilty for trying to get clean in the first place.
Some men leave Love bites, Vash doesn't tell you when some of his pollen is stuck In your hair. He feels so dirty when he sees it too. because no one else even realizes what it is, but he does and he knows how it got there. it makes his heart beat faster.

Now Knives:
while Knives can do the same things with his flower as Vash, he absolutely refuses to bottom, you will be taking his cock and that's final. his vines are also different, they're spiked like rose thorns and bite into your skin when they wrap around you.
if you're lucky and Knives is head over heels in love with you or something (he is and you can't change my mind) the thorns might dull themselves a little bit, just enough that they dimple your skin where they press into you but they won't actually cut,
He also uses the vines attached to him to be a lot meaner than Vash. Vash holds you close to his body, Knives uses his vines to manhandle you into the position he wants and then whips you with them if you aren't being good for him.
even if he is in love with you, or whatever, he's still sadistic in the bedroom and is so ready to remind you that you are a pathetic human and he is the superior being here, you should be the one worshiping him and bowing to his every whim. he's also much, much stronger than you and is more than willing to remind you of that fact.
he's so keen to remind you that he isn't human, he doesn't get tired the way that you do, he could fuck you until you pass out from exhaustion and then go for a six-mile run. it's never quick when Knives decides he wants to fuck you, hell he probably took the whole day off just to fit you into his busy schedule.
Just like Vash, he leaves you covered in pollen, unlike Vash, he will verbally protest if you try to take any of it off. you work in a facility with dozens of plants, and human-plant hybrids, what if one of them gets the wrong idea and thinks that you're for the taking? absolutely not. Knives is as aloof as he is possessive. he may not get to see you often and he is cold even at the best of times but that doesn't mean that you don't belong to him.
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thank you again, Anon.

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bobosbillionsknives · 8 months ago
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i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either
Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭
I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖
INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!
I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!
Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.
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HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!
Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)
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Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!
Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭
this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.
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I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.
(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)
Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.
Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)
Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???
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Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...
Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.
He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel
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This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬
Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.
Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.
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And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.
Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.
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peachyloveswriting · 2 years ago
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I really enjoy how you write Knives and Vash. I enjoyed the one with the sick reader so much.
If by chance could you do something with reader who has bad anxiety and panic attacks?
Maybe for Knives the reader is already feeling down because they are not allowed outside (sorta like seasonal depression I guess) and they feel of no use to him.
For Vash maybe something about how he says he wishes the reader wouldn't follow him and the group to Wolfwood or one of the others and they over hear him. He just wants them safe of course. They feel useless even though they have been able to keep safe so far. Feeling unwanted sends them into a panic.
Lately I have been pretty down and my anxiety about the smallest things have sent me into a panic.
Much love <3
I'm really glad that you've enjoyed my work so far and I hope you feel better soon. For now let me do some comfort and fluff. I'm in the mood right now. Also I've noticed that I sometimes accidentally write in first person so if I switch up on you guys I'm sorry Lmao.
Miscommunication and Self doubt --- Vash & Knives
SUMMARY: It doesn't take a lot to make someone feel worthless, maybe people should pay more attention to what they do.
Millions Knives
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Artificial light, the only light that fills every room I've been in for the past four months. When was the last time I felt the suns on my skin, I had a fresh breath of air? God I have no clue. Ever since Knives took me in I've been stuck inside this tower with no hope of ever seeing the outside again. Just to make matters worse I get to watch everyone else do something useful while I sit and hope for a day that will never come. It fills my heart with dread every time I think about it.
I have no special duty, I don't run errands, I don't do chores. I sit and I act as a wall piece all day everyday. I stand by Knives side, accompanying him wherever he wants me too. Watching him play his piano, I feel particularly let down today.
Between the solemn notes and my aching heart, I don't know which was the straw that broke the Camels back, but I fell to my knees. Tears slid down my face and ragged breaths left my mouth, I sobbed, covering my eyes with my hands. Suddenly the melodious tune stopped making its way into my head and someone grabbed my shoulders.
"Petal?" Knives shook me with worry, he's checking me over for the source of my crying, but no injury is visible. "What's wrong?" He pulls my hands away from my face and cups my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "Speak to me." His hands are gentle as ever, it's almost hard to believe that he's actually touching me.
"What's my point?" I choke out. "What's the point of me being here when I do nothing for you?" I pull away from his touch, another wretched sob falling from my lips. His face softens as his hands fall back to his sides. "Why haven't you killed me yet?"
Through my teary eyes I can see his blades slithering out from behind him, coming right for me. My heart sinks and I feel sick, he was actually taking my advice. This wasn't really the way I wanted it to happen but it was death, the sweet release. Closing my eyes, I patiently wait to feel him cut through me, to tear me apart and never wake me up again. Instead, I feel the blades carefully wrap around my back, pushing me forward.
Opening my eyes, Knives grabs my shoulders once within reach and pulls me against him in a hug. His blades slip off my back but stay close, I can't tell if he's actually debating on killing me or if he's just trying to keep me in place. Against him, I sob. It's hysterical at this point, I'm so lost. He has no reason to keep me here so why am I still here?
"Why?" I have no special purpose for him. "Why am I here?"
One of his hands rubs my back while the other holds the back on my head close to him, he's holding me so gently. I feel like he's scared of hurting me, but why? I serve no purpose to him. Even still, he lets me cry into his shoulder, and even rubs my back in an attempt to comfort me. It's almost like he really does care.
"You're here because I want you to be. I enjoy your company and... You're very interesting to me." He pulls away. "but I don't understand what makes you think I'd kill you. I clearly have a reason not to."
He moves his thumb to swipe away my tears. "I'm sorry it's just... I've been stuck in here for so long I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't... I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I don't even do anything, I want to do something. I don't want to feel useless."
He leans closer. "I can assure you that you are not useless, you offer me entertainment, company, knowledge, and more. My want is for you to be comfortable, if you are not, I have failed. If you wish to leave I will escort you out?" His offer is kind, I'm taken aback by it. Seeing the way he usually treats things, this was not at all what I expected.
I shake my head. "I do want to leave but not like that! I just want to go outside..." I lift my hand to wipe the wetness from my eyes. "I don't wish to burden you, Knives."
He sighs. "Yet again, you're not a burden." Letting me go completely, his blades retract and he stands. "Come with me." He extends a hand to me. "I shall take you outside."
Taking a deep breath I grab his hand and pull myself up. "Thank you." He doesn't say anything in return, quietly leading me towards his room. Walking through the door I'm greeted by a large bed, I was sure he had never used it. It was untouched, sheets laid without a single wrinkle at all. It was like he'd never even touched it. He pulled me forward towards the large sheath of curtains, brushing them to the side. Bright sunlight fills the room and he pulls open a sliding door, turning to the side he gently tugs me forward. I can already feel the breeze hitting my skin before I ever step out. It feels reliving to feel the wind blowing in my face again.
Stepping out onto the small balcony, I press my hands against the rail and close my eyes. Behind me I can hear the door shut and Knives approaching. The air smells clean and the sun is purifying. I could relish in this moment forever, it makes it even harder to believe I'll have to go back in, I don't want too. I'd rather stay out here where I can feel myself at peace with the world, where the wind blows all my worries away.
"Feel better?" I open my eyes to see Knives leaned on the balcony rail beside me, resting his face in his hand. The corners of his lipa twitch up into a ghostly smile, almost non-existent.
"Much." I adjust my gaze to the city below. "Good. I'll be sure to accommodate you more often. I had never thought to ask how you were doing or what you might have needed."
I take a deep breath. "Thank you, Knives."
He stands up straight. "It's good to see you smile again." At the mention I could suddenly feel the smile on my lips, I hadn't noticed it before. "That's what you'll do for me..."
I look at him confused. "If you want to feel of use to me, smile more. It looks good on you."
Vash
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"I'm going to sleep. Good night." You waved everyone goodbye before you claimed into your tent. The outside was illuminated by the flickering fire, Meryl and Roberto had already gone to sleep. It was only Vash and Wolfwood left after you. For a long time it was quiet, sleep was beginning to creep in and you were comfortable. That's when you Heard it.
"Why did they have to stick around?" Vash pokes at the fire with a stick. Wolfwood looks up at him in wonder "Huh? You mean Y/n?"
"Yeah... I just wish they wouldn't stick around." You don't get to hear him finish the sentence, you cover your ears and dig your face into the pillow. Something in your chest aches deeply, the thought of leaving the group after becoming so close to everyone hurts. To think the best out of all of them wanted you gone hurt the most, you didn't do anything to make him hate you. Was it that you didn't contribute? Everyone played their part but you... You were just there.
You don't do anything but cook and help set up camp for the night, it's not much at all compared to what everyone else does. Meryl's got a job with Roberto, Wolfwood is trying to keep you all from dying, and Vash.... He was looking for his brother, trying to save the world. That's more than you could ever do for the group, you bring them down. You get in the way of everyone's objectives, you don't contribute, what's worse than dead weight?
When you uncovered your ears, it was eerily quiet outside, the fire wasn't crackling anymore and Vash and Wolfwood had grown quiet. Heart heavy in your chest, you moved your blanket off of you and climbed to the entrance of your tent. Peeling it back you stick your head outside, the fire is almost out, Vash and the others are nowhere to be seen. You assume they've gone to sleep. Crawling out, you wrap your blanket around your shoulders and walk over to the truck.
The wind nips at your exposed skin as you reach up and grab your bag from the top, it slips from your hands and falls heavily on your foot. Your mouth shoots open to call out in pain but you hiss through clenched teeth instead. After hopping about, you pick the bag up and sling it over your shoulder, stopping to look and back sure you haven't woken anyone up. The silence gives you an answer, you pad back to your tent, quickly undoing it to pack it away in your bag. It fits snugly with all your other items as you tie it back. With everything ready, you tie the blanket securely around you as a coat and begin to walk away from the camp site.
The air is cold and lonely as you venture into the desolate night, from afar strange creatures call out, sending chills through your body. While running with the group, you fared well, managing to keep out of trouble. Alone, you weren't sure you were going to make it. Looking back at the tents, you realize they're much smaller than before. It would be pointless to turn back now, it hurts to leave like this but if Vash didn't want you there you were willing to leave. Albeit bringing you to tears in the process.
For the next day into the night, you traveled alone, not a soul in sight. The heat from the suns has just worn off and the cool nights air breezes past. You haven't stopped since you started, your legs burn with intensity, and your eyes threaten to close. It would be unwise to camp in the middle of the dunes, you searched for a rock face to settle down against but there were none in sight. You realize now that your choice to leave so suddenly without thinking it through wasn't a good idea, you couldn't go back now, they'd certainly have moved on by now. You'd just have to get by until the next town.
Suddenly, from behind you begin to hear shouting. It sounds like your name from somewhere out in the distance, certainly you had to be going crazy. Then it came again, closer this time. You turn to see what's calling out for you, running up on a Thomas, Is Vash.
"Vash?" Your eyes widen in surprise as he jumps off the Thomas, throwing you into the sand, hugging you.
"I was so worried. You scared me. I followed your footsteps for two days!" He pulled back with a smile on his face. Just before he was saying he didn't want you around, now he's acting like he misses you.
"You wanted me to stop following you." His smile falls. "So I left."
His heart falls to his stomach. "What do you mean?"
You blink at him. "You said you didn't want me to follow you around anymore. I overheard when you told Wolfwood."
Vash sits up, pulling you with. "I could see why you wouldn't want me around anymore, I don't do a whole lot..." He frowns, keeping your hand in his. "That's not why I said it." He tips your head up to look at him. "I said it because I'm dangerous. If you stay around me long enough you'll get killed."
I stare at him in silence for a moment. "What bout the others?"
He nods. "Them too. But Wolfwood and Roberto know how to keep themselves alive. You and Meryl... She only has a chance because of Robertoz but you." Vash sighs. Tears start to burn your eyes as you look at him. "Me... I'm worthless." It comes out as a broken sob, one that you can't stop from escaping.
Slumping forward, your head collides with Vash's shoulder. Shaking and sputtering, you sob against him, his hands rushing to soothe your shaking body. He engulfs you in a hug, hands rubbing your back and brushing your head. "Don't say that. You do an amazing job of staying out of trouble and you're an even better addition to the team. But I'm scared you might get hurt one day." His hot breath tickles your skin as he talks. "I want to keep you safe."
White hot anger rushes over you, you raise your head. "Then do that! Don't just send me away and expect that to be even better, it's worse! If you want me to be safe then show me how to use a gun."
His eyes are wide with surprise. You've never yelled at Vash like that, it hurt seeing you so angry. "If that's what you want, I'll do it."
You nod your head. "Yes. Anything to help, please."
"Of course. Let's get back to the others though, you need to eat and get water before you pass out. Sit in front of me so you can rest for a bit too." He takes your hand and pulls you to your feet. "I'm really sorry I made you feel this way." He adverts his gaze as he leads you to the Thomas. "I had no idea you could hear me, it was nothing but the best intentions, I swear."
Vash helps you climb onto the Thomas first before grabbing reigns and hoisting himself up behind you. "I know. It still hurts though."
His face softens. "It won't happen again. I swear. Just stick by my side and you'll be safe."
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thetismcave · 14 days ago
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Y’know, I see a lot of fan works touch on Vash not taking care of himself (which is absolutely true and valid) but more specifically, hiding wounds. And that got me thinking.
Vash probably had to be very sensible to have survived on his own in an unwelcoming wasteland for a over a century, and I think it should show. You don’t last that long only on luck, or by being stupid.
So have some Vash thoughts and headcanons :)
Vash, before he met the reporters, usually traveled alone, in an endless desert, usually encountering hostile people both on the go and in town. So I headcanon that he absolutely responds to threats to his safety by isolating. If he’s hurt, he can’t just stop and patch himself up while getting run down, he needs to get to safety first. And with his life, being safe means being alone. Unfortunately, traveling with people means that safety condition is rarely met, which sucks because Vash has had over a century of that instinct being drilled into him by his environment.
And this long term isolation and alienation probably left other marks too! Things like hyper-vigilance due to having to watch his own back and needing to be awake and fighting in a moments notice, or a weird relationship with touch, both averse and starved of it since friendly human contact is a rarity for him.
Also, yk how masking takes energy? I imagine it’s also exhausting for Vash to put on a charade all the time, especially since now he has a lot less time alone to just be and recharge. I imagine that it kind of slowly melts away as he gets more tired, almost slow enough to go unnoticed (almost).
Another thing! I think there’s a difference between wanting to think the best of people and actually trusting them, and I think Vash absolutely has made that distinction. Just because he wants good things for the people holding the guns, doesn’t mean he won’t dodge their bullets, yk?
So I hc that this absolutely applied to the reporters and WW when they first met. He likes them and their company, but he also doesn’t just give out all his information to Meryl and Roberto. And even though he doesn’t believe Wolfwood to be a somebody that enjoys killing, Vash still gets tense for a moment when he realizes he lost track of Wolfwood.
Overall, I think it would be interesting to see fics that explore the effects Vash’s lifestyle would have on his behavior and reactions! :D
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novasintheroom · 8 months ago
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Can you imagine your wedding day with Vash?
It's sudden, that's for sure - both of you wake up one day, years into your engagement, and Vash has this look in his eye and asks, "Wanna get married today?"
Of course you say yes.
You both bully Wolfwood into officiating the wedding. He does it with grumbles, but you can see the pleased blush on his face at being so included. Meryl and Milly scramble to put together bouquets made of fake flowers and shiny metal bits found in the local pawn shop and just around town. Meryl complains that it should be more, that there should be a venue, decorations, something, but Milly can barely talk because she's so choked up about being made a bridesmaid.
Your dress is simple - something you packed away in your sack for fancier occasions. It's not even white, but it's special, now. You slip it on, pressing down the wrinkles from being at the bottom of your pack for so long. You have to go in your boots, and you worry you don't look like a bride.
That worry vanishes when you see the look on Vash's face.
You appear in the little church the town has, and you can hear the breath leave your man when you walk through the doors. He's staring. Of course he's staring, you look beautiful. Milly did up your hair the best way she knew how, and Meryl helped to clean you up and put some make-up on your cheeks. He's seen you in that dress before, and he still thinks it's perfect for you, how it hugs your curves and just screams you. Wolfwood has to nudge him a bit, giving him a cheeky smile when he sees the tears in Vash's eyes.
You walk down the isle to no music, and when you reach him, Vash reaches out his hand to hold yours. His thumb rubs your ring finger, absent of your engagement ring in favor of using it for the ceremony. "We'll fix that," he murmurs, and you smile at him with your own tears.
Wolfwood does his best at being a proper priest, for the most part. There's a lot of 'ums' said as he makes up his speech while going along. When you get to your vows, Vash pulls out a paper you didn't know he had and reads it:
"Mayfly, I didn't sit back and take inventory of your qualities and say 'this one ticks all the boxes, done.' I was drawn to you and profoundly lucky that you were drawn to me. And we started something that we still work on everyday, that gets deeper and wrinklier every day. I hope that doesn't sound unromantic, calling it work. I don't mean work like drudgery, watching the clock waiting for work to be over - I mean work the way artists talk about paintings as vital and prioritized. It's the most important work of my life, our partnership, and I cherish it. Also, to be clear, I am hopelessly in love with you. That helps. I am on a daily basis completely knocked over by the person in front of me; this crazy dancing, music humming, sweet and spicy woman that I get to spend my life with. It's just that life is long, and I know that loving well is a thing you do, not a lottery you win."
He goes on to promise to always cherish you, listen to you, love you the way you deserve. By the time he's done, you're a mess, and your make-up is running. You kiss him before Wolfwood can even say "I pronounce you husband and wife," but when have you two ever done things the "normal" way?
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Credit to @cullinmcgree on TikTok for the vows I use here - her husband's vows; I fell in love with them and just had to share them in a short story with Vash! I hope one day we may all find someone who loves as ardently as that man loves his wife.
dividers
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tomboyyyaoi · 29 days ago
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my tristamp take is that none of the group are close enough to really be called friends
roberto and meryl were colleagues who obviously had work banter and cared about eachother but ultimately didnt really Know eachother since we know by the beginning of the story they were only recently partnered
vash is literally the subject of their investigation whos also just hitching a ride east from them, also for vash he treats everybody with equal kindness, theyr as much his friends as rosa is, hes a century.5 old wanderer who deliberately keeps his distance + explicitly says theres "no way" roberto and meryl are his friends and sure its hard to tell when vash is being genuine bc of all of his deliberate emotional repression we can still take this as an insight that he was ready and willing to emotionally disconnect himself from them at the drop of a hat
and wolfwood is a funny case bc the audience catches their clear similarities and immediate Understanding in eachother but fails to see that these are 2 emotionally repressed men who Just Met and are just.. making eyes and assumptions but not really saying much, ofc wolfwood knows more than he lets on from his job but Knowing About A Guy and then making eyes and having an uncomfortable arms length dynamic with him bc u worry that He Knows about u too can hardly be described as being friends or even close.
by this point theyr people who have drifted by eachother, people who have crossed paths and were kind to eachother, theyr acquaintances who if u asked one about the other theyd go "yeah, wow, wonder what theyr up to, that was a weird 3 months" like theyr 4 strangers who trauma bonded at best but i like it that way
but ofc they all made an impact on eachother, we know meryl wont be able to let her old objective go bc she keeps going back to the julai pit, we know shes too invested in vash's mysterious life to let that go, we know wolfwoods only there for the shady organisation hiring him as a spy/guide but vash made an impact on him by piercing past his exterior by sheer experience in life and just Knowing and it freaked him out but he liked being seen for the time being, we know meryl and wolfwood cared about eachother bc of their teasing dynamic and similar (clashing) personalities and the way, out of everything, wolfwood went back into julai to save meryl, we dont know what happened after that but id like to think they stuck by eachother for a bit.
Roberto Fucking Died.
vash is the only one i can say would be content with never seeing them again, i want to think he misses them and thinks about them a lot bc muh ships but i Know for him they were a blip on the radar of "people who were kind to me" like everyone else. maybe theyr a bit more than that, maybe the thought of them lingers when he cant sleep or when hes showering, why did meryls voice break thru to him so much? why didnt she run away? why does he resonate with wolfwood so much? why is someone so kind with an organisation like the eye? what do they think after finding out the truth? are they even still alive? i think he lingers on them but he has no desire to track them, if they meet again it would be a nice example of fate or good luck but hes not going out of his way, he cant do connections, he cant get attatched.
theyr all weird distant acquaintances who have complicated feelings about the other but i think theyd all like to meet again in some way or another and i find that really captivating
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mediocreanomaly · 1 year ago
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Mermaid vash with s/o human reader
I feel like Vash would court the reader by giving them random "lost" stuff that he found from people that dropped things in the ocean, like bottles, broken camera, jewelry, a random knive. Anything shiny and cool looking ends up in the reader's hands from Vash. He'd be very happy if the reader accepts the gifts but if the reader gives him something? Any thoughts gone, Vash is malfunctioning.
Just thought this would be a cute idea
Authors Note: Guys please I'm a creature lover at heart don't get me started on these prompts- (joking please get me started on these prompts mer!Vash makes me happy)
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Mer!Vash x Reader HC's
•Vash is extremely interested in humans. Think...Ariel lmao. Although humans are known for trying to poach merfolk (their scales and fins are extremely valuable) he can't help but love them!
•He does his best to stay hidden as he follows along boats from afar to watch the crew work during the day or play cards and drink at night. He sits on far away rocks on beaches to watch the humans splash in the water and sunbathe on the beach. Basically if he can watch humans somewhere he'll be there
•Which is why when you became the newest light house keeper for the port, you were the perfect human for Vash to watch
•It was perfect, the light house was far enough from the actual port that he could lay on the rocks with out being seen, he'd watch you through the light house windows, he'd watch when you'd leave to dip your feet in the water or sit on the rocks to watch the horizon. It became Vash's new favorite pass time so it was only a matter of time before you noticed your fishy companion
•When you first see him his lower body is in the water, only his head sits out watching you, you blink and begin approaching him thinking it's someone who's swam too close to the rocks
"Hey! This might not be the best place to swim there's lots of rocks and the actual swimmers beach is-" you pause caught off guard when, a couple steps in, you see a long red and orange tail gleaming in the water. You lose your balance and fall in the shallow water screaming-
"ahhh!" "ahhh!" the merman mimics back in your voice, which only concerns you more and...leads you to scream again, "ahhh!!!" "ahhh!!!"
•This whole mimicking thing seems to go back and forth for about two more screams before you settle. You catch your breath as you stare at the merman who just watches you curiously not making a move to leave
•You had heard of merfolk, everyone had but it was rare to see them unless you were a poacher and even then merfolk were famous for sinking the ships that were after them. You had met a cocky sailor once who had tried to boast by showing off a few mermaid scales he has sliced off some mermaid he was tracking but it had only disgusted you thinking about how terrified the poor girl must've been
•Although as you carfully look over the merman in front of you it doesn't look like this one has had any better luck, winding scars paint his chest and it seems he's missing an arm...you wearily glance up to the blue eyes watching you, you're pretty sure merfolks were supposed to have silted iris but this merman's pupils are blown wide with curiosity
"...so...can you copy anything I say?" you ask, "...so...can you copy anything I say?" He repeats in your voice, which...is admittedly a bit creepy but he makes a pleased trill noise after he shows off
"Right...so you uh, have a name?" you ask, the merman nods eagerly then pauses looking a little sad before smiling and saying "Vash!" in a woman's voice you've never heard before
•You come to realize that Vash can mimic pretty much any sound as long as he's heard it before. You assume it's some sort of hunting tactic which scared you a bit until you realized he mostly used it to mimic the noises of other sea animals to bring them closer, so it seemed humans were not on the merfolk menu
•Vash comes around pretty much everyday, trying to communicate through half phrases he had heard and various chirps and trills you often had to decode the message of. Luckily he was very expressive so it helped with the context
•You find Vash loves human things, you even started bringing him foods after he snatched a bag of donuts from your hand one morning. So you eat most your meals out by the rocks now, not that you mind. The life of a light house keeper was a lonely one, so you were glad for the company as unconventional as it may be
•The two of you actually become close, or...as close as a human and merman can get you guess? Only issue for you is you don't seem to realize how close you actually are
•Vash has decided. You'd be the perfect mate. You're a good swimmer (for a human), you provide food (donuts), and it only confirms it in his head when one day he makes and happy chirp noise and you jokingly try to mimic it back the same way he does, not realizing it's a show of affection in the merfolk world
•So Vash takes it upon himself to begin courting you. You know how I said think Ariel when you think about Vash? Yeah he has a little cave in the ocean that he just collects trinkets in. Pennies, jewelry, screws, knives, if it shimmers he's picked it up and stashed it away. Which is why he's sure he'll be very good at scavenging to show you how good of a mate he would make!
•It starts off slow, when you're sitting on the rocks with Vash and he hands you a small shiny quarter. You glance up at him as he watches you eagerly waiting for a response. You smile and run your hand through his wet hair
"For me?" you hum, he makes an affirmative trill, tail slapping against the rock excitedly
"Well thank you, it's very nice Vash"
•Then the next day he brings you a necklace he found which you please him by wearing, something that just confirms his courting is working. Then he brings you and old camera, then a bottle, then a whole sword which you go wide eyed at when your smiling blonde companion pulls it out of the water
•You aren't 100% sure why Vash feels the need to bring you things but you enjoy the collection of shells, sand dollars, and shiny objects he leaves you. Although you feel a little bad that, besides the snacks you offer him, you haven't ever given him a gift
•So you go to the market the next day trying to find something. You didn't really know if Vash had a home to keep anything big in...where did merfolk live anyways? You'd have to ask Vash next time you saw him- and you're getting distracted.
•You sigh almost giving up when a stall that glimmers in the sun catches your eye. Perfect! Vash loved shiny things! You run over to the stall to see what they have when your gaze lands on a gold ear ring. The whole "one ear ring" look was becoming popular among sailors but...Vash liked mimicking humans, maybe he'd like this?
•You quickly buy it (in part thanks to all the spare change Vash leaves in your hands every morning) and head back out to the light house
•When you get there Vash has already pushed himself up on the rocks waiting for you. He makes a pleased trill noise and greets you with a "Good morning!" in your own voice. You chuckle and carfully climb your way over to his spot and sit down
"Good morning to you too! Hold out your hand!" You urge as you dig in your bag for your gift, Vash gives a curious look and tilts his head letting out a questioning "vrr?"
"please? c'mon it's good surprise promise" you say, he nods not one to deny you and holds out his hand. You press the gold ear ring into his palm and smile at him.
"so? do you like it? ...Vash? uh...Vash?" You try to wave your hand in front of his face but his eyes are locked on the trinket, as if completely shocked. His face is...also going a very bright shade of red the longer he looks at it- did you break him?
"Vash if you don't like it-" before you can finish that thought he quickly makes a panicked chirp when you go to grab it out of his hand and dives into the water leaving you wondering what just happened
•Vash meanwhile is running his fingers over the metal of the ear ring over and over again. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected a courting gift from you! This was so embarrassing! To accept courting advances was one thing but to be so bold as to court back? He never expected you to be so forward! Well...that just confirmed you wanted to be his mate...and that he'd have to up his courting tactics to really impress you
•After about a half hour of sitting bewildered at the mermans reaction you finally spot him as he peaks his head out of the water and- oh! he's wearing the gold ear ring, the hoop hanging from his right ear
"Vash! I almost thought you left for the day" you sigh padding into the water after him, he shakes his head and makes a cooing noise before repeating "Hold out your hand!" just as you had earlier
"hmm? oh you didn't have to get me something too but okay" You relent holding out your hand, expecting more change or something shiny-
"ahhhh!" you scream as a a live fish about as big as your arm is dropped into your hands. You fumble and drop it, the fish flops around before darting away as soon as it hits the water. Vash frowns, this...was going to be harder than he thought.
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fruitsoxs · 1 year ago
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hi socks just wanna let u know i have been thinking about those vashwood as roommates headcanons and i always come back to it cz it’s somehow??? so comforting??? 10/10 chef’s kiss thank u!
it's honestly my comfort au-- so here's a part two ! (here's part one)
Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include(part two);;
warnings;; I included some nsfw headcanons this time. they're at the end and have a warning. This also has a bit of fighting/angst that ends in fluff notes: i have a couple of fics in the work for this au. let me know if there any big moments you would like to see written out into a full fic! (also possibly a knives spin off??)
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Their jobs/majors
I kind of feel like Vash is studying in the science department. Specifically something that has to do with plant science? Botany, Environmental science, maybe even biology? I know it’s a little on the nose but I really do think it would work perfectly for him
Maybe he even opens up his own little flower shop in the future??
No matter what he has a lot of labs and he is always tired after them.
He probably has a part-time job as a barista at a little cafe on campus
No thoughts just Vash in a cute little apron
He’s a fan favorite among the college kids. They say he makes the best coffee, and he sometimes gives people little freebies when they look sad
His manager Meryl actively yells at him for it, but she doesn’t actually care that much.
He ALWAYS will give you freebies if you come in to visit him. He gets a free drink as an employee, and he’ll save it for you just in case you come in. Sometimes he’ll even take it to go and drop it off for you
Wolfwood gives huge phycology vibes. Mans had a messed up childhood and wants nothing more than to help other people through that stuff
Either that or he’s an art student. I can see that too
He takes school very seriously, but he is horrible at math. He cannot divide to save his life. He’s had to retake his math class like three times
His job? Well nobody knows and at this point everyone is too scared to ask. (He’s a security guard lol)
Whatever it is, he hates it. He comes home grumpy and needs lots of hugs and kisses.
He’ll be all pouty and pissed off, and then you’ll give him a little kiss on the cheek and a small smile will break out 
Bonus; Knives is on the track to becoming a surgeon. I will die on the hill that he is going into the medical field. (he’d look so good in scrubs) and i know McDonalds knives is kind of funny, but I'm thinking he’s actually and EMT. Imagine getting hurt and having Knives be your first responder (id die on the spot)
First Date
It’s not really a date- well you don’t call it a date. Vash just walks in with a couple of free tickets to a haunted house event thing  and asks if you and Wolfwood want to come
You’re like hell yeah
The drive there is like the calm before the storm. You listen to some music, seated in front with wolfwood driving. He definitely has his hand on your thigh. Vash is super excited about finally doing something that isn’t getting high and playing games
You all thought it was gonna be some dumb little spooky house. They’re never that scary. It’s just fun to see all the decorations and actors
Oh boy were you wrong
It’s so well put together. The actors are really into it, and they have amazing make up. When you’re standing in line, some clown girl walks up to Vash and you watch the regret build up on his face. The guy is already terrified
The first hallway is pitch black, and you have to rely on a feeling your way through it. Vash is mumbling about how much he hates it the entire time
Wolfwood is like “Don’t worry guys I’ll protect you.” And then proceeds to let out the loudest scream when the lights come on and there’s a girl dressed up as a ghost standing there
Soon all three of you are huddled up, holding hands, and shaking
These things should not be that scary!!!
It’s Vash who gets you kicked out
He gets so spooked that he runs into a bunch of boxes and knocks one of the fake walls down. The entire thing has to stop to fix it
You’re all banned
After that you go eat pancakes and complain about how scary it was
When things get tense
Fights can happen sometimes
None of you are perfect, and those boys have gone through some shit
Vash tends to shut himself away from you when he’s upset. He doesn’t come out of his room, and when he does he pretends like he’s fine. 
He doesn’t like burdening other people with his problems.
Eventually it just starts to feel like he doesn’t trust you enough to let you in. SIt gets really bad when he tells you to go away one day, and you watch Wolfwood walk into his room 30 minutes later
It doesn’t really turn into a fight. You just get sad, and even a little insecure. So, you avoid him back. Not because you’re vengeful, just because you feel hurt
A few days of the two of you not talking and Vash is in tears by your door
He begs for forgiveness and explains why he’s like this
You tell him it’s okay, but what he does really hurt you. He promises to work on it, and he does
That night the two of you make up for loss time
Wolfwood and you fight a lot more
Most of the time it’s silly little arguments that you solve pretty fast
Wolfwood is bad at communicating in general. But especially when it comes to his feelings
He has really bad days sometimes, and he can get grumpy really fast these days, and one day you really piss him off
He won’t tell you what you did though, he just gives you the cold shoulder
That pisses you off because you’d so be willing to talk it out and apologize, but he won’t tell you what you did 
So you’re mad now too
Things are tense between you too, and it all comes to an end on movie night when you start arguing about what movie to watch
You want to watch one of your favorite movies from your childhood and he says that it’s a stupid movie
Things get heated fast, while Vash just disappears into the background. He that the two of you need to workout your problems on your own (but he really wants to intervene) 
When the tears start falling, Wolfwood immediately stops
He takes a breath, and the two of you sit down and just talk. 
You talk ALL night about what happened, and what the two of you could have done better. In the end, you fall asleep on his chest while he plays with your hair. 
You have movie night the next night to make up for it, and he puts the movie you wanted to watch in before you can even talk about it ( he ends up loving the movie and after that you two watch it all the time)
Id have to make an entire other thing for when Vash and Wolfwood fight because it’s no fun for anyone
NSFW stuff
After the three of you finally get past the awkward stages and start fucking, you find out these two are…horny
They’ll grab you and go to town any time
They really like to share you, but there’s no jealousy in the relationship so it’s okay for one on one time as well!
Wolfwood will pull you into steamy make out sessions whenever. He’ll do it out of nowhere. I imagine he just really likes you, and can’t get enough
He’s very handsy. He’ll constantly have his hand on your hips, or your thigh, and your waist. He likes touching you
He’s the type to sneak risqué touches in public. He like watching you struggle to not let anyone else know what he’s doing
Quickies everywhere with Wolfwood
Vash is a lot more loving (not that Wolfwood isn’t loving– he probably has cried during sex) 
Vash takes his time though. He wants every moment with you to be special. He likes to do stuff like rubbing your back, and peppering kisses down your shoulders. He’ll run his hand up your shirt, and kiss your neck softly. He builds up to it
He really likes shower/bath sex. It’s intimate and relaxing
He also like when you take control (i know he’s a whimperer)
He is so bad at any type of public sex though. He gets embarrassed way too easily (and i think Wolfwood has fun with that) 
When the three of you do it together it’s fucking electric 
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