#ive tried to log out so i can put it on my account but i dont have the password and when i ask he just tells me to give it to him and
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jatlokgwo · 4 months ago
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what temporary lovers tag is it cos ur emohis evaporated
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I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT PICTURE SO HARD A WEEK AGO yeag putting it in 1 tag so that I can fix it later!!!!!!!!!!
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lauvwar-r · 1 year ago
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07 from the start ⸝⸝ cold drinks and cowardice
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"oh? we're not going to the library this time?"
it must be a sign, you think, holding a paper bag in your right hand and his hand in your left. it was late enough into the cold winter season for frosty breath and signature hot chocolate but warm dandelion rays seemed to follow you two and frame the campus perfectly.
"nah," you shrug, "pela said that the council agreed that the stage would be put in the middle of the campus uh- garden? lawn? grass area thingy- you know what i mean…"
"yeah! we thought the area would bring the most traction." you're not even looking at him: your nervous eyes glued to your surroundings with false confidence, but you know he's giving you that look. that sickening soft one that you often mistake for adoration.
it's… fond??
and it makes your heart race — just for a second, before remembering what he said before.
"not a date huh…" you mutter dejectedly.
truthfully, it kinda sorta hurt when you found out he said that. whilst not fully demolishing your ego and porcelain heart, it did pinch at you — like soft rope burn for your self-esteem.
but what hurt a little more was the fact that he never told you. never told you about his private account that is.
i mean yeah… i have one too, but that's because i talk about how much i like him on there, you reason with yourself. and i get privacy and everything. but, bronya? you thought him and bronya were just school friends. were you… even his best friend?
"hm?" a hum interrupts your spiralling thoughts.
"anyway! i thought we could like, survey the area. see how and should things be set out and work from there." you say with faux enthusiasm, "we can work on your quote-on-quote poster on a bench nearby too."
"...it's not that bad."
"uh huh," you tease, raising an eyebrow. whatever. who geppie lets follow his private doesn't mean anything.
eventually, you two end up sitting on a bench together that faces the lawn.
"oh come on! look," gepard laughs as he pulls out his laptop, already logged in and displaying a somewhat improved version of his last poster. the changes are minor, like font changes and whatnot. but you can tell just how much effort he put into it. effort he put into everything and anything he did. a quality of his that you love. "i got rid of some of the uglier images," he pointed out excitedly, shuffling closer to you so you could get a closer look, "just like you told me to." the last part, a whisper similar to the sweetness of vows.
"it's good…" you mumble, too busy clinging onto his words and soothing a racing heart.
"really?"
"really." you reply earnestly, hooded eyes studying yours.
you wanted to lean in. to tread past the tightrope of a line preventing you and gepard from being more than just friends; to finally speak your mind on what you've been feeling for the past few years.
but��
"ah!" you explain, pretending to remember something by suddenly grabbing your paper bag from before.
…you're a coward.
inside are two beverages and a warm pastry carefully wrapped in tissue. "my favourite…" gepard mutters, surprised, "you remembered."
"iced coffee. you always preferred things cold. and a pastry too! it's a thank you for yesterday and-"
his ears turn redder than the normal red-on-a-windy-day red. and you almost — almost considered this a win: a step over that line, before…
"ha. you really are my best friend."
ouch.
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MASTERLIST ⸝⸝ previous! ⸝⸝ next!
𑁤 sypnosis. despite claiming to be 'rizz master 3000' name has failed to ask out their crush and childhood best friend, gepard, for a few years (L). with this new wave of courage, will this lovestruck idiot be able to confess before gepard buys a house and adopts 3 cats and a bunny with someone else? (this is a joke. geppie will not be adopting 3 cats and a bunny).
notes. . . omgg this is like my 6th time ive tried to post 😭 ( so sorry for the like 3week hiatus LMAO) anyways ive been trying to get into a law school for next year so college has been biting me in the ass lately. sending love to all yall tho <3
. . . tags @520cafe , @kitsuxiv , @91ed0 , @iridescentsunsetwaters, @yevene , @lunavixia , @vilthenothing , @ryuryuryuyurboat
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foxgloveinspace · 1 year ago
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Hi, it’s come to my attention I should probably share my Sleep Token Fan Fics on this website, so here is an official post I’ll update and stuff.
I want to say, publicly here, I am Not shipping the band members. I am, shipping their stage personas, and do not want to even think of them off stage in that way (because shipping real people makes me uncomfortable). I have separated the characters and the people who play them so much that I forget I’m even writing about Sleep Token. Ok? Even if they are just playing up their own personalities, they are still putting on a show, and putting on characters.
That being said:
All my Sleep Token fics are in a series (so far). All you need to know is that it’s set in an au where they are not a band, just a cult and a polycule, and Sleep is a loving but mean dom. And it’s all an excuse to write smut about sub!Vessel. Cause I love content where he gets to be a #mess, and I remembered I can make it myself lol.
You need to be logged into your ao3 account to be able to read my fic, I locked them all a few years ago when people where copying fics to other websites with pay walls, and I left them locked. I’m glad I did cause there’s a lot of scams happening right now anyway. Make sure to also read all the tags on the fics! And I usually put trigger warnings in the beginning notes!
Give In Again and Let Me Lay (My Arms Belong Around You)
Tags:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Vessel/Sleep, background I/II/III/IV (polyvessels), Vessel (Sleep Token), Sleep (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), II (Sleep Token), III (Sleep Token), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, but theres a tiny tiny bit of plot. Dom/sub,Orgasm Delay/Denial, Multiple Orgasms, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mentioned Tentacles (past), Bondage, Cis Vessel (Sleep Token), (sorry about that one), Witch-y Vessel, Non-Human Character, Non-Human Genitalia, (for Sleep), Do NOT copy to another website
Sleep only came to his room for two reasons, the first and most common, was when Sleep wanted Vessel to try some new magic or ritual, ones that would leave him tired enough that he might pass out immediately after. Those were usually his least favorite, the magic and energy draining from him left him feeling empty and hollow for weeks after, and the accomplishment of getting it right eventually was bittersweet, and not fulfilling. He felt useless as Sleep’s weapon in those moments, but he would do what was asked of him.
But the excitement in the way that Sleep had tugged at their link made Vessel shudder, and not in complete apprehension.
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Vessel shuts himself in his room, working on a project. He doesn't realize how long it's been since he's left his room to do more than eat, and accidentally worries the others to the point that they get their god involved.
~
I am the Shadow, You’re the Passenger
Tags:
No Archive Warnings Apply, Vessel/II/III/IV, Vessel/iii, Vessel (Sleep Token), III (Sleep Token), II (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Porn with Feelings, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, (but so little it's blink and you'll miss it), Not a Band AU, Technically This Is A, Cult AU, Domestic Fluff, Trans II (Sleep Token), Trans III (Sleep Token), light body horror, Do NOT copy to another website
Vessel had felt III’s eyes on him since the beginning of The Punishment, as he had started referring to it in his mind. He had felt all of his other’s eyes on him since the beginning of the Punishment. It had only been a week or so, but it had been obvious with III, as if he hadn’t even been trying to hide it. And knowing III he wasn’t, Vessel would turn and catch his eye, as if III was waiting to catch him out. Vessel still flinched back every time, tried to stop it from happening and only made it worse.
It wasn’t like he was shy about it, as if he was completely insecure about what he had done for his god, it was just that he was unused to being so open, even to the other vessels. And a week without the mask wasn’t going to change that, he doubted even the month would.
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Vessel can't sleep, III helps. In the process, III finds out Vessel thinks none of his others like his eyes.
~
Something You Say or Something You Do (A Taste of the Divine)
Tags:
Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Free Use Vessel, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Magic, Cult AU, No band AU, Vessel has a magic vagina in this one (just... read it I guess), Trans II, Trans III, Cis IV, Cis Vessel, yes I know., Dom/sub, Dom II, Dom IV, Switch III, Sub Vessel, Dom Sleep, (but Sleep is not here for this one), Cunnilingus, Long Shot, Vibrators, light body horror
He blinked at the ceiling as Sleep chuckled in his mind, and then Sleep spoke,
“Good morning, my vessels.”
Vessel felt the stirrings from the other bonds, the others greeting their god, and he pushed back on Sleep, a good morning of his own, without words.
“I will not be able to be there today for worship as discussed, I will be around within the next 86 hours,” He felt amusement from the others and himself at the use of specific hours from their god, used to it by now but still so endearing, “but because of this I decided that One shall be yours for the day.”
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Or, Vessel wakes up on a morning of worship, only to find out their god has made some changes to him in the night. Oh, and Sleep cannot come that day, so he's giving the Others a treat. Vessel.
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Take a Bite (of Me)
Tags:
No Archive Warnings Apply, Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), Background Polyvessels, Background II/III/IV/Sleep/Vessel, Sleep (Sleep Token), Vessel (Sleep Token), Biting, Oral, Light Dom/sub, PWP, Blow Jobs, Non-Human Genitalia, so much cum (idk how else to tag this and nothing is coming up oof), Soft Sleep (Sleep Token), Soft Vessel (Sleep Token), Still a little fucky wucky tho? At least to me, Do NOT Copy To Another Webiste
He was home alone, the lights were low, so there was only the lamp behind him where he was sitting on the couch, casting a warm glow over him and his book.
He was home alone, until he felt the crackle in the air, the shift in the pressure, the feeling of his god materializing in the portal that was, for all purposes an empty room they called his, the door of which when opened by Sleep would be the gateway to his world, the world of gods. Vessel only felt the change when he was in the living room or kitchen in a clear open space with the door, but he was glad for it this time, marking his page by dog earring it, and tossing it on the coffee table, as he felt Sleep come up to the back of the couch and loom over him, casting shadow in the golden glow.
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Or; Sleep is in a softer mood, and decides to indulge in Vessel's love of his mouth, covering him in hickies.
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All Your Darkest Impulses
Tags:
No Archive Warnings Apply, IV/Sleep (Sleep Token), IV/Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), Background Polyvessels, Vessel (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), Sleep (Sleep Token), PWP, Dom/sub, Bottom IV, Sub IV, Top Sleep, Dom Sleep, Mildly Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Overstimulation, Non-Human Genitalia, (for Sleep), Vessel POV, Coming In Pants, (For Vessel UwU), Punishment, worship kink, (thats not a tag??), Do NOT copy to another website
Sleep sighed, and stretched his arms wide, in his humanoid form again, and Vessel was starting to associate the form with worship with his god. He turned and leaned back on the counter, watching as Sleep walked into the room, and Sleep’s eyes caught his, but they didn’t hold his attention long, his eyes wondering almost lazily to IV, who was still sitting at the table though his back was ramrod straight, and his hands were in his lap. Vessel could see the way they were clenching and unclenching.
Sleep’s eyes didn’t leave IV, and then there was a soft glow that seemed to be coming from behind them, and IV’s head tilted down. Sleep nodded once to himself, and stepped forward to him, holding out his hand to IV, and hesitantly IV placed his hand in Sleeps. He was tugged up to his feet, and then they were starting to walk away.
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Sleep decides it's time to punish IV for the stunt he pulled when Sleep couldn't be there to watch Vessel between II and III. Vessel gets to watch.
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Let Me Wrap the Chain
Tags:
No Archive Warnings Apply, Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), II/III/IV/Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), II/III/IV/Vessel (Sleep Token), Vessel (Sleep Token), Sleep (Sleep Token), II (Sleep Token), III (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), PWP, Tentacles, Tentacle Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Human Genitalia, technically, Non-Human Character, Tentacle Monster Sleep, Overstimulation, Do NOT copy to another website
Sleep was floating in the middle of their living room when they walked in the door, his from his second favorite, a mass of wriggling tentacles that had no business being inside such a small apartment, but it was, and it had been before, had been in his room before as impossible as it felt, with his little glances to Sleep now; blocking the lights and casting long shadows over the walls.
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It's tentacle smut guys, idk what else to say lol.
Important Authors Note in the notes of this fic.
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lordiavolo · 1 year ago
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hi my dear tumblrinas... im going to semi abandon this accnt as well as taking a break from my discord. when i started my "Identity" as link i was so much different then i am now. i believed different things and thought in different ways. ive changed so much its crazy, wnd i just feel like ive grown out of it. coming back to this blog always makes me slip back into that.
also having bpd sometimes as much as i wish it didnt makes me less toxic/better mentally if i avoid people :^( i dont want things to be that way, and im still trying to figure out the balance and how to accept friendships as human connections insead of transactional, so im not going to log onto discord for a while, but i will come back there eventually! i just dont want ppl to think im mad or ghosting u! im just trying to learn how to be an adult and how to be kind and offline
i will likely come back here just to post art, so im not totally abandoning this account, but i wont really engage with any replies/rbs anymore, just drop my art and scurry back into my hole lol.
om archive server ppl i love u and im sorry im a bad admin 😭. i am still actively archiving, and i wish i could figure out a better plan for having a public archive, ive just gotten really scared of letting everyone down or making ppl mad so i keep disappearing from our server :(
everyone who liked my posts and put up w me being annoying and always tried to see the good in me thank u. ily. if u want my discord (even tho ill be away for a while) u are more than welcome to send an ask or dm edit: also adding to this that i really dont like that i was ever involved in harassment campaigns, even indirectly. even if we disagreed on something its against my morals to do shit like that, and i wish i hadnt. one day i hope to be able to reach out to anyone i hurt directly and apologize, but im still sort of worried i may frighten someone by doing so (ie getting a message from someone you had problems with can be intimidating as i have been through before), so i hope that for right now this apology at least will mean something to you.
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iwantsomethingbadforme · 2 years ago
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The way time passes.
Logging into this old account and going through all my tumblrs dedicated to different things has changed me. 
Reflecting on my relationship with Bri, the heartbreak of Miraida, and the back and forth with India is so eye opening. 
Every time I go through a break up, there's a part of me that always thinks it's the same. 
This time felt different. 
I really felt like I would be a little bit sad for the rest of my life. 
But on the other hand, this is the healthiest I've ever been post break up. 
I’m not self harming. I am not spiraling. I am not so depressed that I can’t eat. Im still existing day to day, which I didn't really think was possible. 
In the last week, Ive taken time to realize all the little parts of myself that I compromised. Wanting Kids, Wanting a proposal, wanting marriage, talking without stressing that I was too “loud”. 
Figuring out my feelings has been the hardest part about this whole situation. Struggling with my self worth to the point, that I even thought I could excuse cheating AGAIN, is hard to accept. I think its hard to know that I loved someone for almost 5 years, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with them, and they so easily cheated on me with no remorse, no regret. That shit sucks..
And for a while, I was nothing other than sad. But once I took a step back, it was really easy to know that I want to be with someone who wouldn't cheat on me. That wouldn't even put themselves in a situation to cheat on me, AND lie about it. The truth is, not cheating on someone is VERY easy. 
I think I also spent a lot of time in the last 5 years, wanting to fit a mold that was worthy of Bo’s love. 
That's something that has added to the complexity of my emotions this last month. 
When I am with Jerod, I am authentically myself. He literally met me when I was 16. I think at the core of it, that makes such a difference. We were friends, and he met me as an adult when I was fully in love with someone else. 
He’s never once tried to change my idea of something or mold who I am. He loves me so gently, and also he loves me as myself. As my heart broken, struggling with her identity, struggles to take her meds everyday, self. Every day I have to remind myself that maybe I do deserve to be loved in such an authentic way, maybe I do deserve to be a passenger princess, maybe I do deserve to just be - with no expectations. I’ve always wanted to be with someone who I can so obviously know that they love me no questions asked, and when I think about the fact that Jerod makes sure to tell me he loves me every time he calls me, its a reminder that a love like that can exist. 
Truthfully, I don't know what Im doing with my life. I don't know when this house will be sold. Where I'll be living. What my job will be. And what the future holds for Jerod and I, and me and/or anyone else. 
But I do know that I deserve to be loved in an authentic and true way. That I want to be loved in a way that whomever Im with couldn't fathom cheating on me, and doesn't struggle to admit that I'm important to them. I want to be with someone who wants to build a life together, and isn't scared to make that a reality. 
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plumblossombouquet · 2 years ago
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after 5 long months ive logged onto this account. ive cleaned it up of any cluttering posts. i feel a lot of regret for how ive handled certain things and for how harshly ive always treated myself. i had tried to be optimistic on this blog, you can see it, but deep down i was miserable. this isnt a sob story post, it is more of an update and analyzing myself too. because to analyze me back then and me now is to see growth as a person.
tbh i was struggling with a lot of things months ago and even relapsed in things i wouldn’t have imagined i would have. this isnt for validation at all, i like writing things publicly like this, like a note for myself? idk. 
i know i would make comments about my mental state back then “how it got better” but that was never the case. it was temporary. 
to be quite honest, i will get into the real real gist of it. i had moved out of my parents place like in october of 2022. living with my family has always been stressful, i wont go into that though. my roommate was an incredibly selfish and two-faced person. there were red flags but i either hadnt noticed or ignored them. she was a complete pos, imo, and even reveled in being one. she was even gross and her sister who also lived with us was also gross. i feel bad for her cat bc she wouldnt clean the litter box that much until she wasnt so “depressed”. i am honestly not sure, i put quotation marks bc honestly i feel that she was just lazy as fuck. she was one of those girls who followed trends and went out clubbing a lot and had lots of hook ups. i dont know man, maybe i seem like an asshole but ive struggled with depression since i was a kid and still find energy to clean my cats litter box. granted, i have better coping mechanisms and thought processes and am just in general in a better place mentally but idk i love my cats to death and feel like a dickwad when i even go a couple of hours over with cleaning their litter box. she also didnt try to help with her cat becoming obese basically and stuff, so yea. sorry for the long tangent, my roommate was a dickwad.
after moving out of that hell hole (i wasnt apart of the lease so it was p easy), i think i moved out beginning of february? well, situations happen and i move out of parents place with my bf at the end of february. place ends up being fucking infested with bed bugs and the landlord lady was a bitch and so yea. i moved in and out like 4 times in the span of november 2022-march 2023 i think? tbh, that was all pretty stressful. but i think the good thing out of it was my cats are indoor cats now and i love taking care of them.
while cleaning my posts of clutter, i had a wave of nostalgia both good and bad. it wasnt that long ago but it feels like it. i loved rping hu tao and i think a lot of the reason as to why i could never rp with a lot of ppl was because i was harsh to myself and held myself back. i felt like i didnt properly convey hu tao’s portrayal and compared myself to other hu taos. it is easy to compare because it isnt your writing or portrayal. i could look at myself, be a harsh critique about my looks, but at the end of the day there could always be someone out there that sees things differently. in a more positive and less judgemental light, ig. i also had and still struggle with social anxiety. it has gotten better and perhaps it has helped that ive learned to be more understanding of myself like i am with others.
i love hu tao as a character and always will. and id love to come back to her! but tbh i have fallen out of the game and havent been playing it. i havent played the event including hu tao. i am not sure yet if i am going to make such a commitment to rping again but looking back at the posts made me feel a bit happy. i kinda like how i wrote her, i liked interacting and being goofy. 
so, there is that, i guess. 
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bitchassbucky · 4 years ago
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.exe
Word Count: 2.4k
Warning/s: stalkers, bucky being a creepo, reader being a creepo. dark!IT!bucky x dark!reader :-) female & male masturbation, voyeurism (i think), cyber crimes being committed.
A/N: this is my birthday gift to @babyboibucky <3 to my boo, I love you and you have a special place in my heart. this is gonna be a multi-part thing, it's too long to be considered as a one-shot, oops.
please enjoy! :D
follow the CTRL series:
i - .exe
ii - .avi
iii - .raw
iv - .png
v - .zip
CTRL playlist
CTRL moodboard
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4:49 PM
Just 11 more minutes until he can pack his bags up for the weekend.
One new ticket - URGENT
Goddamn it.
Bucky pulled his earphones out in annoyance, just another office idiot who doesn’t know how to print A4 sheets. If the office were to be held hostage and printing out was the only thing that can save them, half of the floor would be dead.
The new name caught his eye, Y/N Y/L. A new hire, it seems like.
Subject: One new ticket - URGENT
Hi, this is Y/N, employee number 0008675309. I’m new here and was told to send a ticket for the equipment request.
Thank you and have a great weekend!
Oh, Bucky’s gonna have a great weekend indeed. Out of pure curiosity, he’s already pulled up your employee file. A cute smile to a cute name. His annoyance dispersing already, just by thinking of ways how he can spend time with you.
Hey, Y/N! Bucky types into the text field, Welcome to the company. I’m Bucky and I got assigned to help you get settled. Do you prefer having a desktop or a laptop? I’ve attached a form in this thread, send it to me once you’re done.
Have an awesome weekend too!
As much as he hates sending out chirpy emails, he can’t help but to smile when you immediately send a reply back.
Thanks, Bucky! So sorry for sending in the request super late. Got caught up with the onboarding. Is it okay if I use my laptop until we can get a unit to my place? PC or laptop is fine with me.
Best,
Y/N
Bucky fights off another smile, rubbing his hand over his stubbled cheek as he carefully types out a reply. Unlike other days, he doesn’t mind staying beyond 5 PM today. It’s not like he has other plans for his Friday night.
No worries, Y/N. He’s already loving your name. Happy to help!
Do you have your laptop with you? I can set it up before you go home for the weekend. I can probably send in the ticket to the guys so you can have your work equipment next week.
His deft fingers are dancing over his mechanical keyboard, clacking away while the clock ticks closer to the weekend.
A ping, another reply from you. You’re new, you’re still excited to make friends in the office. If you only knew how stupid they are, though.
Yeah! I have it on me right now. I actually work on the same floor, I can drop it off there right now.
Bucky glances around his office, looking for any reflective surface he can check himself on. He runs his hand through his hair, taming any stubborn locks that fell out of his low bun. His shirt hangs just right against his huge frame, his pants hugging his figure, accentuating his silhouette even more.
Just as the clock ticks 5:00, a soft knock raps against his door, “come in!”
You are cuter, prettier in person. Your perfume hits his nose and he’s floored—metaphorically.
“Mr. Barnes,” you say, your demeanor somewhat meek and shy. Well, of course, you are. Your frame is nothing against the hunk of the man who just stood up to greet you.
“Bucky.” He prompts, smiling. You reciprocated the smile, but you really weren’t sure what to expect. Maybe a scrawny little dude mousing away on a keyboard?
“Bucky, thank you so much for doing this. I know you’d rather get off of work since it’s Friday and all.”
He hums, taking your laptop in his hands. You notice the rings adorning his fingers—complementing his tanned skin tone and—it’s not appropriate to stare at a stranger’s hand.
Heat creeps up your face as he turns to look at the stickers stuck to your laptop, “you know, I like this band.” Bucky says, pointing to an old sticker, he carefully sets down your laptop on his workstation.
“They’re great,” you muse, taking a seat on a plastic chair by the door.
You take a gander around his small office. There was nothing out of the ordinary but the big black server blinking at the back, so why do you feel trapped?
“Sorry about the temp, we have to keep the room cold for the server in the back,” Bucky explains, noticing how your arms are crossed over your chest. The skirt you’re wearing isn’t doing you any better too.
You stammer out an it’s okay with a small smile.
Bucky worked on your computer quietly, using a USB stick to load all the applications you need to set up a temporary work account on your laptop. After a few minutes, he beckoned you to come here. You scoot over to his desk, rolling the chair forward and beside him. Not too close though.
“So, this note has all your generated passwords. Type those into the app when you first log in, then you can change it if you want to.” Bucky explains, the cursor idles on the screen. He tries not to get too close to you, to give you personal space. It’s a professional workplace after all.
“This app,” he drags a window, pulling up an application, “tracks your hours and your keystrokes. It’s company-mandated because managers want to micro-manage their people, I guess.” Bucky shrugs, his disdain showing through his voice. His tone shifting lower than what you’d expected.
“Sorry, I just hate their new protocol,” his face and voice softening as he looks at you, “it’s a total privacy breach if you ask me.”
You’d normally disagree but something tells you that maybe he’s got a point. Your breath hitched in your throat as he leans closer as if to whisper something, “this note right here? It’s a nifty thing, a little script so your computer doesn’t go to sleep when you’re away. It enables and disables your numlock pad so it counts as a keystroke.”
A smirk finds its place on your face, “well, that’s…something, isn’t it?”
Never in your life would you find yourself flirting with a co-worker but there’s something about Bucky that made you excited. Interested. Intrigued.
Bucky nods, rolling his chair away to fetch a pad of sticky notes. “Another thing from your friendly neighborhood IT guy,” he peels off a leaf and sticks it on your laptop’s built-in camera, “keep your cam covered.”
You give him a chuckle and a playful salute, “yes, sir.”
Bucky’s a modern man. He sees a pretty girl and he gets giddy. He talks to a pretty girl and he gets flustered. But you—you make him feel more than giddy and flustered. There was something familiar about you, and your eyes. Has he seen you before? Met you, even? No, that’s impossible—if he had met you before, he’d surely remember you.
It was 5:34 PM when he gave you your laptop back and sent in an urgent request for your equipment. While taking down the elevator to the lobby, Bucky gave you a few tips on how to ‘survive’ working in the office. According to him, as far as you go in on time and kept your head above the rumors, you’d do fine.
He asked about your first week and he told you about this joint near the building that serves the best burgers and fries.
You’ve got a good feeling that you just made your first friend.
The sun was already setting down when you pulled into your apartment’s parking lot. At the very last minute, you turned into a drive-through and got some food on the go. The side trip took out 10 minutes of your time but at least you dodged the awful traffic that was building up by the highway.
Along with your laptop bag and your food, you trudge up to your third-floor apartment. It wasn’t what you wanted—the windows faced the street, the screen door doesn’t lock all the way—but it’s the one you got. As long as it’s got four walls and a roof, right?
You slip out of your work clothes and into some comfy jammies after a rewarding shower; the sooner you can get your food heat up, the sooner you can eat, and drink and then go to sleep.
So while waiting for the microwave to beep, you pry open your laptop. You told Bucky not to shut it down after he worked on it as to not lose your work on another profile, which he understood.
The work account he set up greeted you, along with the bright pink sticky note he stuck to your webcam. That wasn’t real, was it? All those cautionary tales of hackers using webcams to peep on you. Maybe he’s just trying to scare you, like some kind of initiation. Without a second thought, you took off the sticky note. It was kinda annoying anyway.
Clicking the Log Out Work button, your personal account popped into the frame. Your opened apps and documents displaying themselves for you to use. You pulled up Spotify and clicked on the first playlist you saw—which happened to be your intimate playlist.
Sure, the Pavlov reaction is real because halfway through the first song, you already found yourself getting all hot and bothered. This one’s your favorite song too.
You groan in annoyance, your food’s no longer a priority.
Picking up the laptop from the table, you walk to your bedroom, not bothering to shut the door. You live alone, it’s fine. You put the laptop on its loudest setting, setting it on your desk and you plopped down on your bed, the pillows and the comforter pooling on one side.
Your room is illuminated by a streak of light from the street. Your curtains flowing softly with the breeze that just came in.
Glancing at your laptop, you remembered Bucky. How his office smelled when you first walked in. How he stood tall when he greeted you. How he smiled. Those goddamn rings of his.
Before you caught yourself thinking rationally, your fingers are already splayed even over your thighs, caressing the soft flesh of your legs.
Bucky’s smirk and his cologne finding purchase in your fogged brain. Thoughts of him pulling you aside into his office to fool around—voices above hushed whispers as your skin erupts in goosebumps, the chilled air of his office finding its way up to your spine.
Oh, fuck it.
You undress fast, flinging your shirt over your head, dropping it somewhere below the bed. The air in your room making your nipples hard and erect as you pinch them. You breathe out a sigh, the heat of the moment creeping up your torso.
The material of your panties dampening as you imagine yourself bent over his desk, your skirt bunched over your hips as he laps your sopping cunt. Bucky’s tongue exploring your folds up and over until your pussy’s a quivering mess of drool and spit.
Your fingers slip past the band of your underwear. Even you surprised yourself by how wet you are.
God, you met him once and he’s already inching his way into your mind.
But who could blame you? You’ve been all over his Facebook profile when you learned his name via the office’s organizational chart. The first time you saw him, walking around the office with a laptop in his hands, you already knew you wanted to at least formally meet him. A scroll on his page, you found a band that you could tolerate listening to. (They’re okay, just not your taste in music.)
A plan came to mind when your department head told the team that you can work from home from time to time—only if you agreed to use a work laptop, a company-owned one. Your manager advised you to put in the request as soon as you can, for you to secure a unit before the on-hand supplies dwindle.
Deliberately sending in the request late—way, way later—than what your manager told you just so you could pull up the ‘new hire’ card and act dumb.
And it looked like he bought it too.
The image of him fucking you quiet while he grabs you from behind played inside your mind like a memory—a vision. Of how his thick cock would fill you up until your pussy is clenching around him. Would he pinch your throbbing clit, making you squirm and cream around him?
Your fingers are compared nothing to his, that’s for sure. But it does the work for now.
A breathy moan comes out of your mouth as you play with your clit, your cunt dripping down wetness as you continue to fondle your tits.
His hands would make a great addition to your chokers.
Your toes curl and your breath quickens, the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening—white-hot heat creeping up your limbs.
Oh, fuck, Bucky!
His ears perked up as he heard you moaning his name.
Bucky was busy watching you enjoy yourself when he got caught in the moment and decided to enjoy himself too.
He was barely keeping himself behaved when you first walked into the floor wearing a button-up and slacks that accentuated your backside. Bucky wished he was the one who gave you the tour and know your name for the first time, but that was impossible—he was in the IT department.
So when he got the news that new hires will be given the chance to work from home, he hoped that he gets to be the one to help you set up.
He was losing hope by the time he got your request, he thought that you opt not to work at home but then there you were, sending him an apologetic email on a late Friday afternoon.
Of course, he happily obliged. He even set up himself a little virtual camp in the background of your computer just so he can continue spending time with you.
Just thinking about you is already making him hard again. Bucky already came in hot spurts of white as he watched you desperately undress earlier. What can he say—he was waiting for you to show your tits already. As such, he correctly guessed that you’d be annoyed with the glaringly bright sticky note he used to ‘cover’ your webcam with.
But seeing you fingerfuck yourself all alone just wasn’t enough for him, he has to have you all by yourself.
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ne0nlightzz · 2 years ago
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Yo! this is basically any and all info for my page and writing /story requests!! [Fandoms,"Rules",DNI,ETC]
since that's why i started a tumbler acc, because the writing community on here is actually seeming pretty large and you can never try to put yourself out there on to many platforms with a writing aspect,right?...
well actually you can and that's why i wasn't even aware that i had a qoutev account for nearly a year when i went to go make a new one and was logged into that one on my laptop but ykyk.
•ACC RULES•
Basic acc rule- all of my soicals are LGBTQ+,OSDD/DID,SFW Agere/Petre,Furry and neurodiverse friendly but if you're homophobic or toxic i most likely won't hesitate to block your ass!:]
STORY REQUEST RULES
I WILL NOT WRITE-
Pedophilia
anything sexual with a kid-
ITS A CHILD WHY DO YOU WANT THAT IF ITS BELLOW 18 AND NOT HOW OLD YOU ARE AND YOU ARE YOUNGER THEN LIKE 14-15 GET SOME HELP MATE ITS A ISSUE-
Overly toxic relationships- like if that's the whole story im uncomfy writing that because its just- its not my best to write i guess-
I WILL WRITE
[its not actually that may rules,i just over elaborate and it makes the list seem long-]
Just about any relation ship[BxB/MxM,GxG/WxW,Poly,romantic,platonic]
I do write xReader stories [for the fandoms listed below] but at the moment i will only write Male-Reader, FTM-Reader or Gender neutral-Reader because there's just not enough of those and because that's what I'm comfortable with as I'm still newer to writing xreader/self inserts and stuff
I can write 'smut' but ive never actually tried because haft way through im just kinda have a whole "wtf did i just write and what will my friends think of me if they find this" moment but please request that with whatever you want but keep in mind i won't write sexual shit for children or family- im trying to stay sane here and am a minor, man, sorry.
platonic or romantic relationships
angst[god im getting go at writing angst- its weird],fluff,those (sorta weird n random) sexual but not scenes-
G0re- [i want to try writing g0re so bad ngl- because how dose one write g0re and make it good?-/injury ig
Okay lets be honest ill write just about anything but
ill try to write GxG but I will not be writing xfem reader at the moment,I'm personally uncomfy doing so because it makes me dysphoria horrible
anything outside the fandoms i have listed for requests [if its not there ask bc i might make acceptions]
weird ped0 and sexual minor/child shit[once again its a childddd ill write you a cute lil fluff sibling or parent figure thing but not anything that's illegal n gross<3]
if its a aged up AU ill think about it but won't 100% write it,ill really have to think about it
i just want to experiment with writing different things and learn different writing techniques so i can maybe find what exactly i enjoy writing the most and i feel like this would be a good way-
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•FANDOMS•
Fandoms i will write for!
Supernatural
The Black Phone
The Lost Boys [yk that old vampire movie? love it-]
Creepypasta
Marble hornets
IT [all of them- also the bowers gang- I'll write for them 100%-]
FNAF/Afton's [yeah that can go downhill VERY FAST]
The owl house/Gravity Falls [yes, I'm aware imma nerd but give me a break- there good shows]
Ninjago[ill only write for season 1-3 atm because im re-watching it after god knows how long and can only remember those seasons atm]
Sander sides [does this even have an active fandom anymore?]
Marvel/Spider man [Mainly Iron man or Spiderman because they are like my comfort characters- i also write for both the Tom Holland and Andrew Garfield Spiderman !!Not the actors but the character!!][spider man is now my gender-this is a joke,please don't attack me-]
those are my main fandoms that i will 1000% write for and below are some that I'm a bit iffy about writing for[like I'm not iffy about possible writing about a demonic triangle]
OHSHC[once again, is there even a fandom for this anymore?-]
TBHK
idfk- im not rly a anime person anymore and can't think of anymore fandoms that im still semi-apart of-
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DNI
Basic criteria[Anti-LGBTQ+, Abelist, Racist, Sexist, ETC]
Ped0/MAPS/Zoophile
Fake-claimers [yk who u are]
Anti-Agere/Petre[i get it if you don't rly vibe w/ it but don't go bashing a coping mech man- it's not a kink or smt, just a way to cope and usually involuntary-]
Under the age of 13
Proshippers/Fujioshi/Girls who fetishize bxb n all
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MASTER LISTS/MORE
My writing socials masterlist [you can find all my bigger works there]
Fandom masterlist
About me
My general socials masterlist [my other socials like Spachey and others]
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EXTRA INFO
I'm dyslexic and that's sorta self-explanatory and explains any grammar/spelling errors in my work. While i do try to edit and catch all mistakes and errors sometimes they slip past me and don't get corrected, there for my work sometimes has a few minor errors but nothing that should actually affect the quality of my work a ton.
I[rarely]use slurs i can reclaim and will only use ones i can reclaim in my work[and that the character can reclaim- unless for drama purposes-] but I WILL NOT USE SLURS I CAN NOT RECLAIM!
I do work on my own individual story's aside from fandom shorts/oneshots so i don't always work on fanfics and sometimes have to take time for those stories!
To quickly address smt I've had issues with
While yes, I do fully support the agere/petre community's I'm not actually a involved part of them anymore due to personal issues and no longer finding it a safe place personally, I rarely regress and slip into headspace and only am a caregiver to one long distance little who is a close friend.
And while yes, I am open to writing 'nsfw content' that's not what I'm about, while yes I'll do it, I will never write anything not sfw for the agere community and want this to be a place for all kinds of people and stories. I want to write agere stuff but also don't want to have to keep my blog 1000% sfw because I write a few comfort n age/petre stories- but I also don't want to make my blog 100% nsfw because I rarely write that and part of why I do is being I'm hypersexual due to past personal stuff.
How many times did i say "while yes," in this? -
Yes.
PLEASE REQUEST- I LOVE GETTING WRITING REQS SO MUCH!!
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yeoldontknow · 3 years ago
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❧ check in tag
tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333
going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~
1. Why did you choose this url?
its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle
2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them
i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(
4. Do you have a queue tag?
no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.
6. Why did you choose your icon?
the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh
7. Why did you choose your header
my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot
8. What's your post with the most notes?
uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those
9. How many mutuals do you have?
honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me
10. How many followers do you have?
more than i probably deserve
11. How many people do you follow?
399
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao
13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?
tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect
14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?
ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private
15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?
in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.
16. Do you like tag games?
i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends
17. do you like ask games?
i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:
@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx
and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x
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eddlestonian · 4 years ago
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Passwords
001 Many sites on the internet require passwords.  Although they seem a nuisance, they protect you.  Consider them like a key to a door.  
002 Why bother with passwords?
(i) Financial Management
For most people this means online banking.  If you use a weak password it is likely it will eventually get hacked.  Needless to say this could result in you losing money.
(ii) Auction Sites
If someone hacked your account they could make binding bids or buy things in your name.
(iii) Stock Trading
This is like (i) plus (ii).  Someone could buy or sell stock or have stock transferred.
(iv) Social Media
Hacked social media accounts can be used to post compromising messages that could embarrass or defame somebody, be used for harassment, or to build up a picture of who you are and everyone you know.  This could result in a visit from the police.  Social media is also very useful for hackers for enabling identity theft.
(v) Shops
Hacking one of your shopping accounts (e.g. Amazon) would only be an issue if you have a “stored” payment method such as credit card details.
If you discover that your payment information was used to ship unexpected goods to an unknown location, it’s clear that someone has hacked your account.
(vi) Gambling
A hacker could generate debts on your behalf.
003 How To Design a Good Password
The important things when designing a password (in order) are make it -  
(i) Memorable,
(ii) Long – the longer the better (at least 12 characters),
(iii) Complex,
(iv) Different for different sites.
004 The Core of the Password
First of all create a “core” password with a string of letters.  Three ways ways of doing this include -  
(i) Initial Letters
Open your favourite book.  Go to a memorable page e.g. your birthday. Read the first sentence.  For me this would be “The Age of Reason” by Sartre.  My birthday is on the 23rd.  The first sentence of the first paragraph on page 23 is “Boris bitterly regretted never having been there, he would certainly go if it reopened.”
This makes bbrnhbthwcgiir – 14 characters.  If I forget it I just have to go to my favourite book.
(ii) Relevant but Not Guessable Words
This could be a street name, hill names, school name, stream name(s), car. Don’t use words relevant to you or close family.  However, you could use a relative’s street name etc.  Hill or mountain names, especially if non-English, are good.  Similarly, the name of your school is bad because a hacker could probably get it from Facebook. So use a relative’s school instead.  The advice regarding streams/rivers is the same as for hills/mountains.  If the resulting password is too short add something relevant.
So, examples from these could be -
springwoodbank (where my parents-in-law lived)
anteallach (a Scottish mmountain)
bluemountainsgrammar (a school in Australia)
severnriver (a river far away)
deloreanbelfast (not my car!)
or -
Look out of the window -  flowerwheelbarrowbinhusband
Look at your wall - picturetelevisionblue
Look at your spouse - greynoseartist
(iii) A Silly Phrase
Examples could be -
weneedanewcomputer
mustremembermilk
quickbrowndogs
lillylikeschocolate
myneighbourisnoisy
dollypartonhasbigboobies
These are long and memorable.
005 Make The Password More Secure
The core password generated as above satisfies the first two criteria – long and memorable.  You could use it as it is.  However, to make it even better we can add complexity.  There are three easy ways of doing it – add special characters and/or numbers and use mixed case.  But where to put the number and special characters?  The easiest is between each word (ignoring example (iii) above) but the better way would be to place it in random places.  The downside here is that random places make   it less memorable.
(i) Special characters such as !, £, $, _
flower_wheelbarrowbinhusband
bbrnh£bthwcgiir
springwood!bank
we_need£a$new_computer
Bear in mind that some sites only allow certain special characters.
(ii) Numbers
The question here is how to decide what numbers to use.  Anything relevant to you or your close family is bad because it is available online from various sources (e.g. Facebook, Linkedin, Ancestry).  Of course 123456 is bad.  You could use something random but then it won’t be so easily memorable.  Ignoring close family, you could use the birth date of, say, your mother (or even better, your grandmother).  For me that would be 07071936.  You could use one or more of these numbers -
flower07wheelbarrow07bin19husband35
bb07rnhb07thw19cgiir35
07spring07woodbank1935
w07eneedane07wco19mput35er
(iii) Mix upper and lowercase letters
FlowerwheelbarrowbinhusbanD
bbrnhbthwcGiir
SpringWoodBank
wEnEEdanEwcomputEer
(iv) To make an extremely secure password, use all three complexity methods -
Flower_07wheelbarrow07bin19husbanD35
bb07rnh£b07thw19cGiir35
07Spring07Wood!Bank1935
w_07EnEEd£a$nE07w__co19mput35Er
006 Create Different Passwords For Different Websites
You could use the same password for each website but if that gets hacked it would mean the hacker would have access to all of your accounts online.  So, how to make it unique for each website?  Here are some suggestions.
(i) Add the name of the site to your password
Flower_07wheelbarrow07bin19husbanD35amazon
bb07rnh£b07thw19cGiir35ebay
07Spring07Wood!Bank1935twitter
w_07EnEEd£a$nE07w__co19mput35Erfineartamerica
(ii) Add an acronym relevant to the site
Flower_07wheelbarrow07bin19husbanD35azn
bb07rnh£b07thw19cGiir35eb
07Spring07Wood!Bank1935twt
w_07EnEEd£a$nE07w__co19mput35Erfaa
(iii) Add numbers
How to choose a number relevant to the site?  An easy way is the length of the name of the site -
Amazon = 6
Ebay = 4
Twitter = 7
Fineartamerica = 14
To make it harder for the hacker “pad” it to three digits; -
Amazon =  006
Ebay = 004
Twitter = 007
Finartamerica = 012
So we get -
Flower_07wheelbarrow07bin19husbanD35006
bb07rnh£b07thw19cGiir35004
07Spring07Wood!Bank1935007
w_07EnEEd£a$nE07w__co19mput35Er012
007 Storing Passwords
Generally speaking, storing passwords anywhere is a bad idea but if you really can’t remember your passwords, here is some advice.
(i) Write Them Down
Writing your passwords on a piece of paper and sticking it to your screen or under your keyboard is a bad idea.  
So find that favourite book again and your favourite page and slip your password note in there.  What happens if a burgler finds it? Burglars rarely, if ever, are interested in passwords – they are looking for cash or small high value items to sell on quickly.
If you have accepted the advice above you have a core password used for all sites.  For each site you have added a three-digit number at the end.  This means all you have to do is store your core password because you can work out which password to use for each site but others would have a hard time figuring it out.  
For example, instead of storing
Flower_07wheelbarrow07bin19husbanD35006
use
Flower_07wheelbarrow07bin19husbanD35
Even if a burglar/hacker tries to use the password it will not work anywhere.
(ii) Password Manager
A password manager is a computer program that allows users to store, generate and manage their passwords for local applications and online services.
Types of password managers include:
locally installed software applications
online services accessed through website portals
locally accessed hardware devices that serve as keys
Password managers typically require a user to generate and remember a master password to unlock the password manager.  Many password managers offer additional services such as storage of credit card and frequent flier information.
Password managers come and go but the popular ones in 2021 are LastPass, myki, LogmeOnce, Norton and bitwarden
The two downsides of using a password manager are that you usually have to pay for it and, of course, if the password manager gets hacked your passwords are exposed.
(iii) Security Key
A security key looks a bit like a USB pen.  It allows you to securely log into your accounts without having to key in passwords.  They usually just plug into a USB port.
There are various security keys available so its worth shopping around and comparing them.  For example scan.co.uk sells the Hypersecu FIDO Titanium Pro (works in Windows, Apple devices and Android) which currently does well in reviews.
In addition to managing passwords a security key can combat real-time attacks such as man-in-the-middle (MITM), prevent phishing, make keylogging impossible and protect PINs from brute force attacks.
The problem is that they can be difficult to set up.
008 How To get Hacked (Bad Security Online)
(i) Use Number Substitutions in Passwords
Common substitutions are -
a = @
s = $
o = 0
e = 3
i /l = 1
So, ”myamazonassword” becomes “my@m@z0nA$$w0rd”
Hackers are aware of this so number substitution is a bad idea.
Note – this is substitution not addition (discussed above).
(ii) Use Personal Information in Passwords
Examples are -
Your birthday,
Close family names (sons, daughters),
Pet name,
Your address.
(iii) Repeating Characters in Passwords
1234567
aaaaaaaaa
abcdefg
abcabcabc
(iv) Same Password for All Sites
Someone who culls your Facebook or Twitter password in a phishing exploit could, for example, access your bank account.   Reusing passwords for email, banking, and social media accounts can lead to identity theft. Two recent breaches revealed a password reuse rate of 31% among victims.
(v) Auto Sign In
Do not allow your computer to automatically sign into sites on boot-up
(vi) “remember me”, Automatic sign-in option
Do not use “remember me” or Automatic sign-in option which is available on some web sites.
(vii) Alien Computers
Do not enter passwords on a computer you don’t control, such as a friend’s computer, because you don’t know what spyware or keyloggers might be on that machine.
(viii) Open WiFi
Do not access password-protected accounts over open WiFi networks or any other network you don’t trust unless the site is secured via HTTPS. Use a Virtual Private Network (VPN) if you travel a lot.
(ix) Keyboard Combinations in Passwords
Avoid consecutive keyboard combinations such as qwerty or asdfg.
(x) Security Questions
The names of spouses, kids, other relatives, or pets, can be deduced with a little research.  When you click the “forgot password” link within a webmail service or other site you are often asked to answer a question or series of questions.  The answers can often be found on your social media profile.  This is how Sarah Palin’s Yahoo account was hacked.
(xi) Social engineering
This is an elaborate type of lying.  An alternative to traditional hacking, it is the act of manipulating others into performing certain actions or divulging confidential information.
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imakebeautymistakes · 5 years ago
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Skincare catch-up
Below are all the products I’ve used or currently use in my skincare routine. Some do their job but are nothing fancy, some are bad purchases, and some I’ll actually repurchase. 
My skin type is combination/oily, and I get acne when I’m stressed (not all over my face though, just 1-3 big pimples). I also have milia all over my cheekbones, and I’m looking into a way to have them removed by a professional since I wasn’t able to get rid of them on my own.
Cleansers
Currently using: Purity by Philosophy
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Rating: 6.5/10
It does its job, but I don’t think it worked better than a Garnier cleanser I tried a year ago, and it’s more expensive. Also, the smell is a bit odd. Clean, but odd. I got this as a free gift for signing up for an Ulta credit card, and it’s definitely smooth and feels good rubbing into my skin. This will probably work fine on most skin types. However, for the price tag (and my skin type), there’s probably something better out there for me. 
Currently using: Daily Microdelivery Exfoliating Facial Wash (Philosophy)
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Rating: 7/10
It’s a gentle-enough exfoliant that I can use it every morning as a cleanser in place of Purity (though if this is a big skincare mistake, someone please let me know!) It smells a bit like oranges and has a thick jelly texture. It feels refreshing and all, but again, I’m not sure how much it’s doing given the fact that I get breakouts whenever I’m stressed and I have to use other products to even out my skin tone again and get rid of acne. It does its job, but for the price, I could probably find something better for my specific skincare needs. That being said, I got the full size on sale for $15 at Christmas last year (normally $42) and it lasts a long time. 
Trial: Beste No. 9 Jelly Cleanser by Drunk Elephant
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Rating: ?
Everyone can get their hands on this in one of the options for your free birthday gift at Sephora this year. If you missed your birthday, you can still get your gift by going on sephora.com and logging into your Beauty Insider account to temporarily change your birth date before you go shopping. Not a huge fan of the packaging, since it’s a little messy when my hands are wet from washing my face and I don’t want to get cleanser all over the sink and it’s hard to close if your fingers are slippery (if you’ve used this, you probably know what I’m talking about). Like Purity, the smell is a bit funky, but that could be a good sign since things that smell good usually have fragrance that can cause irritation. Still trying this though, will update later.
Sample: Kiehl’s Cucumber Herbal Conditioning Cleanser
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Rating: ?
Only had a sample size that lasted a week, but I liked this when I used it. You didn’t need much product to cleanse your whole face, and it smelled really clean and refreshing but not overpowering. Lathered nice, and I’ll probably try this someday when I get more than a little sample packet. 
Garnier SkinActive Micellar Foaming Wash
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Rating: 8/10
For a drugstore product, I really liked using this. The only reason I stopped was to try out the Philosophy products. My skin felt tight and clean after using this, and I could really lather to remove dirt and excess makeup. This is kind of my fallback, and my sister (age 20, combo skin) and my mom (age 50+, combo skin and rosacea) both like it too. Garnier also sells one in a blue bottle with aloe, but it’s not as good as this one and doesn’t have the micellar water. 
Toner
Currently using: Thayers Witch Hazel & Rose Petal Toner
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Rating: 8/10
Does its job, doesn’t irritate, is inexpensive, and you can find it at the drugstore and Target. In the future I want to try a toner more targeted to my acne-prone oilier skin, but this toner is a catch-all, and overall a solid option in online reviews. 
Sample: Kiehl’s Blue Astringent Herbal Lotion
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Rating: ?
I only got a baby sample that lasted 3 days, but this was really nice when I used it. It’s definitely for oily skin since it has alcohol in it, but it didn’t dry me out and made my pores feel nice and tight. Wish I could review more in-depth, but didn’t get a chance to use this long enough.
Neutrogena Alcohol-Free Toner
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Rating: 6/10
I guess it worked (it’s been over a year since I’ve used this, though) and the smell was good, but I remember liking the Thayers better so I switched. Didn’t irritate or anything, nothing bad to say, but it didn’t leave an impression.
Serum
Currently using: The Ordinary’s Lactic Acid 10% + HA
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Rating: 9/10
For my first real foray into serums, this has worked pretty well. I wanted to increase my skin turnover rate and bring my milia to the surface, and this works well, is under $10, and is gentle enough to use every night. I didn’t want to try anything too drastic since I hadn’t used serum before, and this one was great. Will keep using, and will likely try other products from The Ordinary in the future.
Sample: Kiehl’s Nightly Refining Micro-Peel Concentrate
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Rating: ?
I got a small sample packet of this when I went to a Kiehl’s store for a free consultation, and it lasted about a week. I started to see results, but I ran out of the sample and went with The Ordinary since this little sucker is expensive. Seems like a great product, but not good on the budget. 
Sample: Kiehl’s Hydro-Plumping Re-texturizing Serum Concentrate
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Rating: ?
Seems like a good product, and I liked it for the week I used it. No smell, smooth texture, all good. However, the price is steep, so I don’t think I’ll be buying this anytime soon. 
Spot Treatments
Currently using: Clinique Acne Solutions Clinical Clearing Gel
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Rating: ?
I just bought this yesterday, so I’ll post more of a review after at least a week. First impressions: this is a spot treatment, and I don’t know who would use this all over their face like the box says you can do. It’s strong and a bit sticky (like superglue?) and you have to be careful not to touch your eyes or anything while you have some on your fingertips. It absorbs quickly, and while it’s definitely drying, you can put moisturizer over it just fine. 
Clindamycin Phosphate Topical Gel
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Rating: N/A
I feel like I can’t “rate” this since it’s not OTC and I got it through a doctor’s prescription, but I loved this and if the doctor I switched to this past year hadn’t screwed up, I’d still be using it twice a day. Gentle, didn’t smell like anything, and kept my acne away pretty well. More of a preventative measure than something to use once you already have the acne.
Moisturizers
Currently using: Origins GinZing Energy-Boosting Gel Moisturizer
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Rating: 8.5/10
I started using this a month ago, and I really like it, especially for a light morning moisturizer in the summer. It feels so smooth when you put it on, and the citrus smell is amazing. I like this one better than the Drunk Elephant one (below), and it’s half the price. I don’t think I’ll use this in the dry winter months, but it’s been great in warm temperatures and sunshine.
Trial: Drunk Elephant Protini Polypeptide Cream
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Rating: ~6.5/10
For the price, I don’t understand the hype here. Yeah, it’s a nice thick creamy moisturizer, but it doesn’t smell fabulous and I don’t think it works better than other moisturizers that are under $40. However, my sister is in love with this stuff, so maybe it’s just me. 
Trial: Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion
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Rating: ?
I picked this one up at Ulta yesterday, so I haven’t had a long enough time to test it. However, it gets rave reviews, and my first impression was that it went on smoothly and felt nice, but I’ll have more to say later.
Sample: Kiehl’s Skin Rescuer Moisturizer
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Rating: ?
I liked this moisturizer a lot better than the other one I got as a free sample from Kiehl’s (below). No strong smell, applied smoothly (I’m saying this a lot, but there’s a reason), but I didn’t notice any “stress-minimizing”. 
Sample: Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Deep Moisture Balm
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Rating: ?
Not for me. Didn’t go on my skin smoothly, I didn’t like the smell (vaguely oat-like? Or am I crazy?), didn’t feel great on my skin. I still had some left in the sample when I threw it out, it just isn’t for anyone with oily skin. Not sure why the girl at Kiehl’s gave me this, but whatever.
Garnier Skin Active Soothing 3-in-1 Face Moisturizer with Rosewater
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Rating: 6.5/10
Not good in the summer. I might go back to it in the winter, but this probably just made the milia on the thin skin under my eyes worse when it was humid out. More for dry skin, and the fragrance was a bit strong. Also, I felt like you needed a lot of product to use on your whole face, since it didn’t glide on like some of the more gel-textured moisturizers I’ve tried. Not too bad for the drugstore, though.
Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisture Combination Skin
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Rating: 7/10
I liked this, it definitely mattified my oily t-zone. The only reason I really stopped using it was because I wanted to try a moisturizer with SPF...
Neutrogena Moisturizer, SPF 15
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Rating: 5/10
This didn’t work for me. The SPF made it more irritating if I got it close to my eyes or touched my eyes too soon after applying, and my nose in particular seemed really oily when I used this. Maybe only use this if you have normal-dry skin?
Other
Currently using: St. Ives Blackhead Clearing Green Tea Scrub
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Rating: 7/10
I use this about 3 times a week at night, and I don’t find it too irritating like some people say the apricot or walnut scrub is. Pretty sure the beads in here are silicone, so it doesn’t tear up my face. I stopped using this for a few weeks, and when I picked it back up to try and get rid of an acne flare-up, it really helped. I definitely noticed that it was doing something when I went off it for a bit. Drugstore BHA (Salicylic Acid) that works for me.
Freeman Charcoal + Black Sugar Gel Mask and Scrub
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Rating: 4/10
Are you a scrub? Are you a mask? Make up your mind. It doesn’t really work as either, with a weird thick jelly texture and huge scrub beads. Only used twice, maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but even though this didn’t break me out or anything, it didn’t seem to do anything at all. Weird product.
GlamGlow Super-Clearing Mud Mask Treatment
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Rating: 6.5/10
For the price and with all the ingredients including a blend of AHAs, I thought this would do more. It’s satisfying to watch the mask turn lighter gray as it dries on your face, but you’re only supposed to use it once a week, and I haven’t noticed results after a month. A fun mask to try, but I won’t be repurchasing since it’s too expensive for not enough of a result.
Burt’s Bees Conditioning Lip Scrub
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Rating: 4/10
Chapstick would accomplish pretty much the same thing this does. It’s hard to scrub it into your lips, since the honey “beads” like to congeal into larger blobs, and it’s surprisingly expensive for a small little container at the drugstore. There have to be better lip scrubs out there, save your money.
Mario Badescu Facial Spray with Rosewater 
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Rating: 7/10
A nice product, but I don’t get the hype or cult status. Good for a refreshing pick-me-up, but I don’t notice anything different when I don’t use it. Not really a setting spray, just extra hydration during the day if you’re into that. Good for wetting a beauty blender, though.
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scoutbert · 6 years ago
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my birthday is on sunday 3/3
TW: non graphic mentions of suicide/depression/drug abuse.
i turn 20,, i have had an account here since 2013 (when i was 14) and therefore i have spent 6 years on this accursed site... i wonder if, like webkinz, there will be a day where i log in for the last time and forget about all the stuff that made me /feel/.
anyway yea its my birthday soon and i want to draw your attention cause some people who've been following me/been mutuals for years may vaguely recall my many close encounters with depression-related crises. i never thought i would live to see my 20th birthday. there was never a future i envisioned because i was so wrapped up, and obsessed with thinking, and fantasizing and rolling around in my own sticky angst that i burned bridges, or never even built some.
my teens were frought with mental health problems. ive been in and out of psychiatric inpatient hospitals at least 9 times, gone through several failed therapies and medications. ive had some (severely) traumatic events occur. ive struggled with addiction. and now, as i enter my 20s, i am coming to terms with healing, something i never even /considered/ as a viable option. for too long my automatic thought process was "well i can always just kill myself!" it was an excuse to avoid putting effort into improving myself, a 'plan b' if you will, for when things became challenging or too much.
but since i was kicked out of my abusive, unsupportive household and began my transition last year, things have begun to change. over the last 12 months, i have been forced to adjust to adult life very quickly. and at first it whipped my ass hard. i got a job but due to a pretty bad bender with alcohol i became depressed and quit. then i was unemployed for 6 months, living off the generosity of my partner's family. i am a prideful person, i do not like help, i am the one to OFFER help usually. the shame and pride i felt escalated into my drug abuse last year, and i tried LSD a lot. i had one experience that was amazing; it basically changed my life. more on that in a different post.
basically, i got a job again. and when the winter hit and my seasonal depression kicked in- hard- i made the first move to improve my mental health in *years.* i voluntarily admitted myself to inpatient. i was set up with a professional support system at last, got on meds (that actually fucking work?? you may recall my deep distrust of psychopharmacology) and started just. being more adult.
i filed my taxes for the first time, i am budgeting, taking care of my own transportation, food, clothing. i even planned a little mini vacation for anime boston. ive cut back immensely on the booze, cigarettes, weed and acid. i have outpatient support. i have a handsome wonderful partner and a plethora of wonderful people i surround myself with, and ive cut out all the people who don't add any value to my life/took value away from it.
im still getting my sea legs. there's always the chance i may fall down again. but this time i dont have my mother towering over me and ridiculing me for it. i have a whole network of supportive people there to reach out a hand to help me back up. and ive finally learned to value my own life. i always angsted over how horrible the world was, and how living isn't worth the pain because the pain seemed to outweigh any good things. and it's been REALLY hard changing that pattern of thinking, because it's so easy to believe it's true. but the truth really is that there is no pain versus pleasure. there is pain, and there is pleasure, and there is neutrality. but most importantly, there is my ability to decide HOW these things will affect ME, and my ability to CHOOSE how to respond. in therapy i learned there are thoughts, feelings, and actions. you can't always control your thoughts, and usually not your feelings, but you always have 100% control over how you act and what you say.
so now, im taking actions to affect how i feel, to change how i think. like actively recognizing and challenging intrusive or maladaptive thoughts, learning how to cope with strong emotions and memories, and controlling impulsive behaviors.
the freedom i feel is so refreshing at last. i may still be poor, i may still have no car and no place of my own, but what the hell is the rush? i have maybe 60+ years here. no one gets to tell me how i spend them but me!
happy birthday, me. i no longer dread my birthday, a sign of my impending slavery to society (entering the shitty American system of lower class people.) i am getting comfortable in my body and identity. im going to live and life isn't about what i think other people want, its about what i want, and what im going to do to get it.
so thank you if you've managed to read this far. thanks if you've been with me since the beginning, way back in 2013 when i made that post promising i would follow everyone on tumblr who reblogged it, when i got a little popular. thanks if you're the people who messaged me asking if i was okay or needed to talk; thank you, the people who called for help on me when i posted my suicide notes from high school; thank you to the people who sent me financial help when i was at my lowest and couldn't afford my medications. you all played a part in me coming to this point and i am grateful for you. merci beaucoup, mes amis. je vous aimez.
-scout 2/27/19
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bts-love-sweat-tears · 6 years ago
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Julie’s Love Yourself Concert Diary
Concert Date: September 29, 2018
Written: September 30, 2018
Warnings: I curse more than I should?
Words: 3,330ish-added a few  things at the last minute (phew!)
A/N:
[Update: Tumblr couldn’t upload all my photos that I spent awhile choosing and placing, so I’m going to have to pare it down. Sorry bbs! I opted to cut my personal & merch photos in favor of the boys]
So I have one thousand and one things I should be working on-for school, for work, for my eventual job hunt. But instead I am going to write about last night’s experience while it was still fresh in my mind. I was thinking of doing a song-by-song play-by-play, but you can look up the setlist on Wikipedia, so instead I am going to talk about the things that jumped out at me. WARNING: This is essentially one giant spoiler, so I will try to put a “Read More” cut, though it’s been being weird for me lately. So scroll carefully if you’re going to a later date and don’t want to know. All photos taken on my (now ancient) iPhone 6, so I tried to choose the best ones). Will edit as I see typos I made.
I’m a little nervous since I usually write fiction instead of sharing my personal experience. Anyway, full disclosure that this is just my perspective, and I’m (always) happy to discuss things (civilly) if you disagree with me.  <3  Photos and opinions are mine.- please don’t re-post anywhere else.
The Background/ Pulling a Namjoon and Leaving my Ticket at Home
Even though I was going to the Saturday show, I flew into LaGuardia using frequent flyer miles on Friday morning. I was staying with a friend in Queens, so I went straight to her apartment. I’m a grad student as most of you probably know at this point, so I spent most of Friday working on a paper that was due. I had two friends I met at last year’s concert going to the Friday concert, and they went for merch promptly at 9, but I had just arrived and had a deadline to meet for school.  Around 4:30PM, I decided that I was done for the day and opened Ticketmaster to print my ticket for the next day’s show. When I logged in, I saw the notice that the ticket had been mailed to me. I remembered having seen that when I bought the ticket in May, but in my defense I was jet-lagged and ill on that day. Furthermore, I moved to and from NYC in that time for a summer internship, and SO MUCH HAD HAPPENED. The tickets had been mailed while I was living here and I had never seen them, so somehow it slipped my mind. Obviously I lived too far away, but I didn’t know if I could express overnight them, but I think when I called Ticketmaster, the old ones were deactivated when the guy tried to send me the link.
Anyway, print at home was not an option, so I called Ticketmaster and in a panic explained my situation. They said it happened all the time and offered to send me a link. Luckily I kept the rep on the line, because it turned out that even they couldn’t email a link because of the anti-scalpers/fraud/whatever.
Then the rep said that I could show the credit card, but I had literally cut it up the week prior since the Vendor (e.g. the store that the card was through) had switched their card to a different bank (e.g. Visa to Mastercard), so I seemed shady af, even though I was telling the truth. He said as long as I had a login to a statement showing the transaction (I didn’t, since they had opted to close the account at an institutional level).  So I called my mom frantically, and luckily she is the hyper-organized type who keeps paper copies of everything and sent them to me. Seriously, Mom for the win!  I run to this print shop as it’s closing and print everything out.  I had the Ticketmaster receipt & order #, and two photo ID’s confirming my address. The guy said it should be fine, but I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. This was my one birthday gift and something I had been looking forward to for months. Anyway, my friend and I went out to a local bar near the Halsey (yes, the singer took her name from the station) stop on the L line, and I was super anti-social because I was so upset. I also burst a blood vessel in my eye  (it will heal, no worries) because of too much birthday partying the prior weekend, so I’m sure I was a (sour) sight to behold.
I slept poorly for obvious reasons, and left the apartment around 7AM, and arrived to Prudential center around 8:30ish. There were only a few people outside of will call, but the GA line was already wrapped around the building. I made small talk with people outside of the box office, and one woman told me she had gotten soundcheck both days. Seriously, what kind of karma do I need for that to happen to me? She and her friends had been camping out since Thursday, and they were SUPER organized: while she waited in line, one was at merch, and someone else was holding their GA site. I almost wondered if they were a fansite or something. ARMY are a truly organized bunch (except for me, clearly).
Anyway, after another half hour of pure anxiety, they opened up will call and I was panicking, but they were really helpful and gave me my ticket after I verified the order number, showed my id and confirmed some other personal data. I decided then and there that nothing else mattered and I was just happy to be there and be in.
Waiting in line/Logistics/Staff
I left the box office, and got into the GA line. It was probably around 9:15, and the line had already doubled-back on itself all the way around the building. The woman from earlier told me that her friend had got #1000 and was only 3 rows back, so I still had some hope. Basically, you line up to get your spot in line- though it’s kinda dumb that you have to line up twice, it makes security go faster and guarantees that there isn’t a huge surge/stronger people cutting  in line later.
I wore what I thought were my most comfortable shoes, but after standing on concrete for hours, I don’t think it makes a difference. People were so friendly though-  I never once felt awkward even though I was by myself. The same was true last year- the friends who had gone up for merch on Friday I met while in line at last years’ Wings concert. I chatted with people around me, drank the two bottles of water I had, and looked at my phone. Bring an umbrella for shade and sunscreen though-I didn’t and am rocking a nice farmers burn/tan today.  It wasn’t humid though, and it wasn’t raining, so it could have been so much worse.
Even though there were tons of people, everyone was well-behaved. I didn’t see any altercations, though as the day went on the staff seemed a bit overwhelmed with crowd control.  I didn’t see too many people selling unofficial merch like last year, though I did buy a few necklaces (Joon and Chim, ofc).
After 3.5 hours, I finally got my wristband. They told us to be back by 2pm to line up for real, as they were going to try to open the doors at 3 instead of 3:30 (didn’t end up happening).
Merch
I then ran to merch, but there wasn’t much left. The fans/pickets were selling out as I got in line, and people were basically yelling “NOOOOOOOO” everytime the staff put up a “SOLD OUT” sticker. I bought what I could that was left, including a bracelet, which I’m actually in love with, the eco-tote (super overpriced tbh, $50 for a canvas bag), but the shopper bags were gone and I needed something to carry the box and batteries V3 ARMY Bomb I bought. I had one from last year that I also forgot, but I think the new version was cool because they are synced up with the music so you can change colors and patterns along with everyone else. Overall, it’s EXPEN$$$$IVE, but if anyone’s worth it, it’s Bangtan.
Newark
I was getting super tired after this, so I kinda passed on the photo studio table, big poster, and UNICEF stuff. I tried to go to Starbucks, but even though it was the middle of the day, I didn’t feel that safe, even though it was like 11:45 in the middle of the day. I’m a 27 year old who’s lived in Latin America (which is generally stereotyped for violence), solo traveled around the world, and I’m from the Rust Belt (aka home of true urban decay), but that part of Newark sketched me the heck out. Probably it would have been fine, but I opted for caution, and went to a Dunkin Donuts and empanada place right around the corner. The timing was actually good since we had to get back pretty quickly to line back up.
The second line was where the staff struggled, telling people to back up and get in order, but it seemed like staff were doing different things. Plus, if they wanted people to back up, they should have created room at the back first, before telling the front to basically “back that ass up” on the people behind them.
GA vs. Seated
I can say this- if you are short, you probably want a seat. Or if you have any kind of knee, back, or joint problems- I stood for approximately 14 straight hours on concrete yesterday. I am just under 5”5” but I was probably one of the taller people in the crowd, so I had a pretty good view. Even though they asked people to not take videos or record, you WILL be looking through a sea of cell phones. I could see pretty well, but sometimes when they were on the main stage I had a hard time seeing around other people’s arms.
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Last time I had P2 seated, and the view was wonderful. I went to the bathroom, charged my phone, and ate nachos (lol), so it was generally a more chill experience. I was still super close but up a little higher and could see absolutely everything. But last night I was SO close I could see Joon’s dimples irl, and got splashed by both Jungkook and J-Hope when they threw the water bottles.  Probably 100 people think this, but I’m also pretty sure Yoongi  (and maybeeee Jimin) saw me jumping and singing along like crazy since I was one of the taller people. At the very least, Yoongi keep looking in the general direction I was in. Ofc I looked gross af with my messed up eye and crazy hair, but what I loved about the concert is that I was 100% able to forget all the insecurities I carry around with me on a day to day basis and have an AMAZING time.
Of course the whole place is crazy high energy, but I feel like last night was INSANELY high. I’m not sure if it was the overall vibe or if that was the GA influencing my opinion.  It just depends on what kind of experience you want to have. Also, if you are claustrophobic, you should probably pass on GA. The guards kept forcing people to back up, at one point even coming in with a flashlight, and people would surge forward whenever a member came close. But someone said the night before was chill, so maybe it’s just luck of the draw.
The Show
The show was absolutely amazing. They opened with IDOL, which got people hyped from the get-go. Their dancing was ON POINT as always. People were chanting during the intro videos and chatting as it filled in, so it was a great vibe once again- just super happy feeling. The audio visual part was AMAZING, though I’m no pro, and I loved all of the concert outfits, especially Jimin’s super sparkly sweater. Lots of jumping, and lots of screams. I didn’t have earplugs and was fine, but if you’re sensitive to loud sounds I definitely recommend them. ISTG I remembered hearing a mashup of FIRE, but maybe not? Wikipedia seems to think not. But they played a few older ones too, which made me so soft and nostalgic.
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More on the members during the concert
Kim Namjoon
Ok, this is so so so biased, let me start with that. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know how much I love this man. Seeing him smiling and happy was amazing. And they had a professional translator for this concert, so I felt like Joon was able to relax a little and enjoy himself instead of worrying about translating for everyone else.  He is just as tall and proportional as everyone says he is.  Everyone talks about how soft he is these days (and I love it), but he has undeniable charisma when he raps. Plus him in sunglasses, ddaeng. Seeing him so close was akin to something spiritual for me (I SAW THE DIMPLES WITH MY OWN EYES), as were people shouting along with him to “Love.” At the end, he commented how we were all sharing the same air, and hearing him think the way (I know at least some of ) us think was so heartwarming.  
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Also during some of the videos, there were some NOT AT ALL subtle Minjoon moments.  
Kim Seokjin
The crowd last night ADORED Jin and gave him all the attention he deserves to have all the time. People were chanting his name SO LOUDLY during instrumental breaks in Epiphany. His voice was phenomenal, particularly the high notes. it’s clear how hard he’s worked to make it sound so effortless.  I noticed that people weren’t moving as much during some of his notes and I can only think it’s because we were literally transfixed. It’s well established, but I don’t think this man has any bad angles. Even in the still pictures I took while dancing, he DOESN’T look awkward in any of them. #impossible.
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Min Yoongi
Suga was clearly happy about something last night- he was SO cute and happy. Other ARMY on the train back to the city agreed with me. His rapping was fire (duh), but he was really smiley and took out his earpiece a number of times to hear us screaming. “Seesaw” starts with him laying on a couch and I can think of no better way to capture his true soul (lol). He was extra attentive to fans, and  I feel like what Tae mentioned in Burn the Stage, he was trying to memorize ARMY’s faces and live in the moment. I felt bad because there were clearly parts where he wanted us to sing along, but we couldn’t necessarily keep up with his tongue technology :P  But people definitely tried their best.  
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Jung Hoseok
Idk what I can say here that’s new. J-Hope is one of the most charismatic members on the stage. And there’s something in the American air that turns him into Jay Hope. Seriously, he’s hard to move your eyes away from. “Just Dance” was the first solo track if I remember correctly and he did not disappoint. His glasses at the end were adorable, and one of the other members called him a “happy grandfather” or something like that.  Seriously, if you’re still sleeping on Hobi, we can’t be friends.  
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Park Jimin
Jimin was ethereal as always, and the choreography for Serendipity was…..salacious, to say the least. Like if you thought the “Take Me Down” cover from last year’s Festa was too much, then idk what to tell you. Bring holy water or something. Despite  the free water that fans were providing to others (ARMY are seriously the best) there was a different kind of thirst occurring, if you smell what I’m stepping in. Jimin is pure charisma, like J-Hope. Obviously their styles are totally different, but when they move, you stop whatever you’re doing and watch. Again, I didn’t even see many ARMY bombs moving during Serendipity- I think we were too entranced. I personally thought that he killed his vocals and did great, but he seemed a little tired or like he was working hard at it. Jimin was also the one (at least that I saw from my angle) that got the closest to the fans, crouching down and leaning over the teleprompters/fans/lights/ whatever the black boxes were at the edge of the stage.
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Similar to Tae and Yoongi, I saw him looking at fans A LOT during the show. He was exactly how he seems in V Lives and cameras, and I’m fairly certain I would spontaneously combust if I ever ran into him irl (even if I didn’t know who he was)- he just radiates warmth and friendliness. Seriously, if I believed in magic, I feel like he would be able to influence people’s emotions.
Kim Taehyung
So many fic writers have this ultra primal (for lack of a better word?) for Tae, but all I see is a cute sweetheart. Obviously I’ve never seen someone create as much tension with their own arm as he does during Singularity, but when he’s not dancing, I just got a super innocent, cutesy vibe from him. His voice was so smooth last night. I mean, I knew, but now I KNOW.  He actually was shooting hearts at one fan (how lucky they are), and pretended to fall down when they shot him back! They were further back in P2 as well so he really does work hard at paying attention to everyone. He actually called over another member (maybe Yoongi or Jimin? I was too busy trying to remember how to breathe, to see whatever he was seeing).
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At the end he whipped a heart out of his beanie (how I pray to god someone got that moment on camera) a la Jin. He just seemed really comfortable in his own skin last night, and I was so grateful for it.  
Jeon Jungkook
I had a hard time seeing most of his Euphoria performance as it was relatively early on and people were taking a shit ton of videos. He also stayed mostly on the main stage, rather than come out to the extension area near where I was. His abs are just as great in person, and the screams were (as is to be expected), absolutely deafening. They’ve talked about it in shows, but his voice is  SO stable. Obviously they stopped at times and don’t use too much backing vocals, but it sounded EXACTLY how it does on the album. He threw something into the crowd  (I think a banner) at the end, and it FLEW so far-back to P2 or further. They’re not kidding when they talk about how strong he is.  
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Final thoughts
At first, I was a little exhausted after my emotional trauma of the prior day, and from standing for so long but the minute it started I forgot everything else. I was salty when I couldn’t see that much bc of people recording (esp when they asked us not to), but I understand the specialness of the moment and wanting to have some tangible evidence that you were there. By the time the concert was over, I realized how special GA was, even if it’s more difficult logistically (since I went solo and didn’t have parents or friends to stand in). I still don’t know if it’s hit me that I was like 10 feet away from them, max. It reaffirmed how important they are to me. I didn’t write this to brag, but to hopefully share my perspective and let others live vicariously through my experience. If you want clarification or anything else, write to me!  
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patriotnewsdaily · 3 years ago
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New Post has been published on PatriotNewsDaily.com
New Post has been published on https://patriotnewsdaily.com/voters-support-election-integrity-as-dominion-refuses-subpoena-and-doj-makes-threats/
Voters Support Election Integrity as Dominion Refuses Subpoena and DOJ Makes Threats
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The 2020 election is far from over as audit investigations continue to move forward and new questions arise. According to a new bipartisan survey from Rasmussen Reports, a mind bending 90% of American voters are concerned with cheating in the election process, with 74% of American voters supporting having voter ID requirements. The poll found that 61% of American voters actually agree with a statement from Donald Trump that said, “Election reform must happen in swing states like Pennsylvania, Michigan, Georgia, Wisconsin and Arizona where voters have lost confidence in their electoral process.” With numbers this high across the entire United States, from Republicans and Democrats alike, it is obvious that the narrative being shown from the network television and mainstream online news media is not supported by the people. Americans want the audits to happen, despite misleading actions from the courts, demonizing rhetoric from certain parts of our government, illegal action of the refusal of evidence from various counties, and the doublespeak of the companies who claim to own the intellectual property of the election process. We must continue to stand up for the truth of the matter, and continue to search for what that actually is no matter how long it takes or how hard it becomes. 
This comes as the Department of Justice (DOJ) issued a warning to all states not to pursue their own election audits anywhere or face the potential of violating Federal law. They claim that, under the Civil Rights Act, all voting equipment and records are to be kept by local officials for 22 months after any given election. They claim that to give this information to any auditing team is a violation of this 22 month time frame. While stepping back to think about it at all, it is obvious that this makes no sense and is a blatant misinterpretation of the law itself. 
About the fear mongering announcement from the DOJ, Arizona Representative Mark Finchem, who is now running for Arizona Secretary of State, said, “There’s this little thing called the Constitution. Article 1, section IV, the times, places and manner of holding an election for senators and representatives… it is the legislature that has responsibility for nominating and naming the electors for President. I would advise Merrick Garland and his team of thugs that now occupy the Department of Justice: Tread very lightly.”
Finchem continued, speaking to the Attorney General with the DOJ Merrick Garland that, “You’re going to walk into a very surprising reception if you try to do anything in this state that interferes with legislative authority in handling our elections. Hard stop.” 
Arizona State Senator Wendy Rogers took it a step further, warning Garland that he could find himself in prison if he came to Arizona and tried to take action against the process there. 
In Arizona, Dominion and the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors have continually refused to comply with a subpoena from the Arizona State Senate, breaking the law. The order calls for ballot envelopes, images, user names, passwords and security keys for election machines, voter records, routers, router images and splunk logs. Despite the subpoena, none of this has been provided. 
CEO John Poulos of Dominion voting systems says that Dominion is not a public entity and as a private company, “has no obligation to make its records available for public inspection.” This is despite the fact that his company is overseeing a public election, and no matter if public or private should still be held accountable by the laws of our nation. No human, organization or business company is above the laws set in place to protect the people. Here, the company is being helped to ignore a State Senate subpoena. How does this happen in America? 
Dominion and the Board of Supervisors were called to appear at a hearing at the Arizona State Capitol on August 2nd, in which they chose not to even show up to.  
Arizona State Senate Majority Leader Whip Sonny Borrelli has sent a formal request to the Arizona State Attorney General Mark Brnovich to investigate the refusal to comply with the subpoena and the lack of appearing from Dominion and the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors. Borrelli stated that, “The supervisors are acting as if they are above the law, and it is an insult to the citizens of our state. Enough is enough.”
Borrelli continued to say that, “The level of disrespect and contempt from the Supervisors toward Senate leadership and Arizona voters is appalling. I respectfully announce that the Attorney General investigate this clear violation of the law. Arizonans expect no less.” 
Election audits continue to spread throughout the nation, as other state and county officials continue to increase investigation efforts. In Wisconsin, a special council has been appointed granting additional authority to powers seeking to look into what happened in their election. Both the State Assembly and the State Senate have initiated investigations in Wisconsin. 
Officials continue to refuse to comply with requested audits in Pennsylvania for the moment. A forensic audit of the 2020 election has begun, despite counties’ denial of cooperation. The Senate is planning on issuing subpoenas if refusals continue in the state. 
Speaker of the Georgia House David Ralston has requested an independent forensic probe into the 2020 election in Fulton County. Issues have recently surfaced, written about in previous articles, with both the 2020 election and the previous audit that took place in the area. 
Robb Pitts, the Chairman of Fulton County Board of Commissioners, wants to expand the investigation efforts beyond Fulton County, saying that, “While Fulton County is the largest county and therefore under the most scrutiny, it is also my understanding that other Counties had issues in their elections and finding ballots not included in the initial tabulation. If you are requesting that Fulton County be the subject of such an investigation, then I believe it would only be fair that all counties with issues be subject to investigation.”
Vernon Jones, now running for Governor of Georgia, agrees that all of Georgia’s counties should undergo forensic investigation for the 2020 election. He says, “I am glad to see that Georgia Speaker of the House David Ralston and others are finally calling for an investigation into the fraud being uncovered over in Fulton County. But, as I have been screaming from the rooftops for months, we need a forensic audit of all 159 counties in Georgia.”
Finally, with Dominion refusing to share voting data and equipment with the public due to security claims and talk of intellectual property ownership, it is important to note yet another leak that has come out. Ron Watkins leaked several documents shared to him by an alleged Dominion worker whistleblower that potentially reveal that Dominion does have remote access to their equipment during elections. Along with documents, a video has been released to The Gateway Pundit showing that Dominion CEO lied about his technological capability in a former testimony. 
Watkins says, “What I put out is maybe 1%… What I put out is highly focused because it caught the CEO of Dominion in perjury. He said there’s no way these machines can be connected in his Michigan testimony. Well they can be… Technically they can be connected by the administration BIOS.”
Watkins continued, “Something else that concerned me. The fact is the USB’s are enabled on the server. And the checkbox for USB boot is enabled also… That means if you put an operating system on a USB and then you plug it into the machine and turn it on, it’s possible to boot the operating system from the USB and not use the one from the hard drive. So technically you can have two operating systems on one system.”
The validity of the leak is uncertain, but the revelation here to have the capability to access data in real time along with the documents on how to accomplish this potentially show that not only was a lie being told, but that Dominion itself is continuing to hide its own capabilities with the public. Along with the refusal to comply with subpoenas, as well as previous evidence and investigations in the past, everyone should have many questions as to why this is so. 
Investigations into the 2020 election may be slow and difficult, they may face intense backlash and defenses from those who do not wish to see them happen at all, but for the people of this nation these election audits must continue to keep on moving forward. From the looks of things right now, it seems as if that’s exactly what they will be doing across the nation.
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Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
"Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
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Do you know cheapest car insurance? My friend is 21, male.?""
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Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
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...............
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PLEASE give me an actual number, not just how I could find out and what important information I left out. I have had no accidents and an attending school and will be buying an average car. Thanks in advance""
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(around) How much would motorcycle insurance be for a 16 year old on a Honda crf230l?....thanks
Where can i get cheap car insurance?
Ive tried compare the market and a few of the other leading companies but they all a bit to high for me - whats so annoying is when i find one thats suitable it ends up higher than the listed price. Anyone know of a good one
""Insurance,if I buy a car and get my dad to registered keeper and owner and he insures it wi me as main driver?""
Is this legal their is a space on go compare ask n who the main driver would be ive got dr10 ins10 twice lc20 All from 2008 so cheapest quote is 5k. My dad also has his car too with 8 yrs no claims so idea is to insure my car registered in his name with the 8 yrs no claim s wi me as main driver and insure his car without no claims bonus got a quote on go compare 1000 for my car wr dad as registered keeper me as main driver and he would have to pay on his own car with no claims bonus not on should still b cheaper than , ,5k help!""
Is it possible to obtain a learner's permit without having my parents' insurance rates go up?
I am a 16 year old in NY and my parents do not want me to obtain a learner's permit because they are afraid that their insurance rates will go up and they cannot afford it now. Now, a friend told me that I could go to the NY DMV without my parents and get a learner's permit. Is this possible? I would like a learner's permit not only for the ability to drive, but also as a solid form of photo ID (like, instead of a passport). What should I do about this? PS. My parents won't be convinced.""
Where can I get cheap bike insurance?
I'm having trouble getting a decent quote for my ZX7R, due to my no claims being void becase I haven't ridden for 4 years. Can you help?""
What is the average annual/weekly contents insurance cost?
What is yours or what is the average?
Pregnant w/o insurance.?
I am 6 weeks pregant and do not have insurance. I don't qualify for medicaid anymore because I make too much money, like 1000 over. The problem is that I can't work less or we can't pay our bills. Does anyone know how I can get insurance while I am pregnant??""
Rental car insurance -- what does it cover?
We are going to Vegas in a few days and are renting a car. Since this car is going to be in and out of parking garages, I think it's a good idea to buy the rental car insurance @ $ 10.99 a day. Say while the car is in the parking garage and someone scratches or dings the door, would this insurance cover it? That's all I'm really worried about.""
Is there some sort of reason that Car Insurance costs so much more in Nevada than it does in California?
Im looking into moving, and I cannot help but notice that the quotes I am getting are, well, DOUBLE what I pay in California. Granted, I am a 23 year old male and have a decent driving record, it is kind of shocking to see liability only coverage quoted at $250/month for my two 8 and 12 year old cars, when Im paying $125/mo. as of now in California for the same 100/300 coverage. Can someone explain this? I have some friends that have moved to Las vegas, with the same shocking increase in premiums... (And yes, I need the 100/300 since I own a home)""
Proof Of Car Insurance?
I never owned a car, nor have I need to car insurance. I see I need Proof Of Insurance, How can I bypass proof of insurance when registering/buying a car from a dealership, etc?""
Insurance companies will have 32 million new customers because of Obamacare. How is this socialism?
The Affordable Care Act was modeled after a Republican health care plan by the Heritage Foundation and was first implemented by a Republican governor. All this bill does is makes sure that insurance companies have 32 million new customers. I could understand if you called Single Payer socialism (which I highly support), but calling Obamacare socialist is pretty stupid.""
Smart roadster uk insurance.?
Slight problem, was looking up TPFT insurance quotes for a smart roadster: 500 excess. 7000 yearly premium. 7500 annuall mileage. The car's only worth 8500 it has a 0.7L engine. How do they justify this price gouging?""
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?
How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old female with a convertible volkswagen?
Can I get medi-cal if I already have health insurance?
I am insured with blue shield in California, and just found out I'm pregnant. My insurance doesn't cover prenatal care. I know my income qualifies me for California's medi-cal coverage for pregnant women, but will having insurance make it so that I won't qualify for medi-cal? Also, my live in boyfriend makes more than the income cap. Will that affect things? I just want to make sure I get some sort of medical care.""
Car insurance quotes?
when i turn 17 (few months) and hopefully pass my test 'm going to most likely going to get a ford fiesta however ive already looked at claims on multiple cars including the fiesta type i will probably get and every quote is around 5000-7000 so i was wondering if i should (give the car to my mum or dad) and get insured on them for a considerable lower price as the car im looking at is around 2000-3000 im not a boy racer or anything so im not gonna mod the car or rag it rotten i was wondering if i will be able to get away with it or should i just get insured on a car that costs less than the insurance? Thanks all that answer
Can I add a person to my insurance if i dont own the car?
Okay, my live in boyfriend just got a car and is leasing it through an auto dealer, and making payments. The car is in his name. I would like to know if he can be added to my insurance policy? Does the car have to be in my name to be on my insurance policy?""
Can i switch over car insurance to new car/ Montana to Wisconsin?
I had insurance for my old car when i was living in Montana, liability coverage or whatever is the cheapest. I got rid of my old car, moved to Wisconsin and bought a new (used) car. Can i switch my insurance over to the new car i bought? I got my insurance through AAA> Any advice would be helpful>thanks""
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Where can a marijuana smoker get affordable life assurance?
it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times. if they ask for health records then you will be in a higher quote, but also when they ask you question on health and ...show more""
EMPLOYER INSURANCE VS OUTSIDE INSURANCE?
I work for a company that provides insurance through Health-net. Since the rates aren't that great (ya, what a surprise for Hyundai) I was wondering if could I deny the company insurance and just go with an outside provider? Or if I half to take what ever my company provides me.""
Can i get cheep insurance after being convicted of a 23140 in the California vehicle code?
I got pulled over more then a year ago and had a few beers with my best friend before he left for the armed services. I have the worlds brightest car and this probably wasn't the best idea. This happened 2 months before my 21st bday. My term to not have a licence is almost up and I am scared what my insurance is gonna look like. Does anyone know a way i can get cheep insurance or clear my driving record? Its only a infraction but will seriously mess up my life for the next 10 years. Any advice about programs insurance company s might have to lower costs so i can afford it when this period is up?
""What are my options, health insurance wise?""
I'm 19 and MassHealth is being a b**** and canceling my insurance. I got no job and I'm a full time student. Is there anyway to get insurance like this? I mean, Massachusetts must have something for people like me. Anyone else having this problem and have a solution? If so it would really help.""
How much is insurance for the Acura RSX?
I really want on badly but I'm concern about the costs. I am eighteen year old male and this will be my first car. I just got my license as well.
Is there an affordable health insurance plan?
Hey, I'm 17 years old and I have a baby. We both have MOLINA insurance. But my boyfriend who's 19 doesnt have any health insurance. He works full time and is about to be going to college part time. Well his wisdom teeth are coming in crooked and he cant get them fixed because it costs so much. Is there any health insurance plan that wont cost us an arm and a leg? And doesnt have a catch?""
Gap insurance on new auto?
what is the cost for gap insurance for honda acord 4 door sedan 06 year
Will this lower my insurance?
Im looking at cars to buy for my first car and I was wondering what the insurance cost would be like for a 16 almost 17 year old female for a 1979's 1980's camaro I also maintain a high gpa and get a discount for it aswell and live in las vegas.
""Where can I get cheap car insurance for a vw golf 1.4 51 reg? Im 17 and just passed, I'll b on parents policy?""
I will be on my parents policy, with a parent as the main driver and me as the named driver? Ive looked at tesco value and its coming up as 2500!!! i was hoping more along the lines of 1500""
Why does car insurance cost more in one state but is cheaper in another?
Why does car insurance cost more in one state but is cheaper in another?
Question about car insurance.?
Hi there I bought a car that is about 100 miles away, and is in another state. I will get a ride there to pick it up. But what do I do about insurance do I get some or other temp. insurance to drive it back to my home town? or do I get insurance where I buy it? What is the procedure in this case? Thank you""
Range Rover Insurance?
I know that insurance depend on a lot of factors however I'm just looking for a round about estimate for a 24 year old female with a clean driving record on a 2003 a range rover?
For a first time driver who is 28 who is good for cheap car insurance?
In the uk
Why is a five door car cheaper to insure than a 3 door car?
My father got a quote for a 5 door 1995 ford fiesta yesterday for 240. The previous car was also a fiesta of the same year and same engine but was a 3 door which cost 340 per year. We have had a 5 door ford fiesta before but that cost 340 per year as well, but the engine was the same and it was the same year. Why the difference in insurance cost between 3 and 5 doors?""
Can a financial advisor from AXA sell you New York life insurance?
I'd like to know if a financial advisor that works for AXA Advisors offer clients New York Life insurance products. Thanks in advance! I'm in CA by the way.
Insurance for honda civic?
Does anyone no how much insurance is for a Honda civic, I am 17. Do i have any hope of getting any?""
Car or 125cc motorcycle for 17 year old?
So I turn 17 soon and I was wondering whether to get a car or a 125. The main downside to getting a car is the driving lessons, it will probably end up costing 1000+ in just driving lessons/tests and is likely to take ages to past where as it takes a day to do the CBT to ride a bike. I am not interested in people saying Don't get a motorbike they're deathtraps! . So what should I do?""
Speeding ticket...how much will my insurance go up?
I received a speeding ticket. If found guilty of it, how much can I expect of an increase in my insurance premium? It is my first ticket. I have USAA insurance. It is a minor infraction. (1 point in here in Cali.) Thanks for the help!""
I am thinking of getting renters insurance. What is the cost of most average cost of most polices?
Live in a 2 story, downstairs apartment ground floor, one level., I have a doxie (weiner dog), my son who is an adult and my husband.""
Why is car insurance so expensive in the UK!?
So i'm not driving yet, only applied for a provisional, i'm age 17. But I thought why not try and figure out how much my insurance will be once i've passed and buy a car at roughly 1000, so I filled in all the details as accurate as possible on the compare websites and the cheapest yearly insurance price was 5600! How the hell am I suppose to afford this, am I doing something wrong haha :L""
How much does motorcyles insurance run??
I want to be an inexpensive bike to save gas money (like a ninja 250) and I'm curious how much laibility insurance is... my car insurance is only $30 a month and I have a perfect driving record, no accidents. thank you""
Will Hillary Clinton universal health care program force all Americans to pay for health insurance?
How will those who are unemployed pay for health insurance under her plan?
Help! Accident on motorcycle with no insurance.?
I was recently involved in an accident on my motorcycle with a Hertz rental car. I purchased the bike 9 days before the accident and was planning on adding the motorcycle to my car insurance policy. No one was hurt in the accident but a police report was filled out at the request of the rental company. I was wondering if insurance companies possibly have some kind of grace period for accidents a certain number of days before the policy is added, or if need be, transferred to the motorcycle. The rear bumper of the rental car was dented and the right rear lights were damaged. My motorcycle is fine. I live in California.""
Can my brother put me on his health insurance?
I have a illness. I started a new job and insurance won't kick in untill another three months. Can I be put on my brothers insurance? He has no children and he is not married. Plus he never uses it.
Jeep Wrangler Sahara insurance?
I am a 16 year old female... I want a 2004 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 Sahara as my first car. My mom seems to think the insurance is too high. Can anyone tell me whether the insurance on it would be super high or give me an average number for insurance? Would it be cheaper on a smaller car? thanks .xx
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isolated-loser · 4 years ago
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Log 30, 4:44pm, Nov 2, 2020
life goes.
Had a panic attack last night, cuss I love my Fishy(boitoi), and feel like he doesn’t want me, because he’s not vocal about shit. Truthfully he wouldn’t deal with my crazy ass, if he didn’t at the very least care about me. (Cuss if he wanted to he would, & if he wanted to he would, but he doesn’t, so he’s not.)
 Last weekend. I had a nether pregnancy scare, cuss I have fun new period symptoms. Like every smell being too strong, ungodly back pain, stronger cramps & getting angry about shit that usually makes my heart swoon.
 So thing my incubus my angel, would usually do that I normal adore, was just pissing me off. Like how he’ll grab my sides, pick on me, pick me up without warning, make gay jokes towards his friend, & generally be a doof. Like really. I love it when he grabs my belly fat it shows he’s not worried about my weight, 7 is comfortable enough around me to grab at a part of my physicality seen by the public as obscene. Does it make me tad comfortable at times yes, but that because I’m uncomfortable in my own body. I hate admitting that, but it true.
 I literally fucking woke him up at 3am cry yelling telling him to take off it paints or go home. & the first thing he did was fuck comfort me. (I don’t understand why I was so upset about him wearing jeans to bed, it was dumb as hell, I’ve done it I few dozen times.) He moves his half asleep ass over to me and starts comforting me, when I’m being the asshole. Really? This mother fuck says he’s an asshole. (Note that’s bluntly bullshit) I’ve never had a person be as kind and respectful to me as he’s been. I just feel bad about how I acted.
 Truthfully every problem in me and fishy relationship has been fucking up communication and me being so fucking insecure & not saying shit. I need to not over think as moch as I do. I over think everything. I feel the need to talk with him on all of it. but when I’m with him, I just want to enjoy it.
 I’ve figured out that I have separation anxiety
 On a different thing that’s been stressing me out.
Work. I’m having a hard time getting it. the only thing I’m really qualified for is fast food, and that’s not something I want to go into again. I get too stressed out work in a felled that I have to go so fast in. Not that I can’t work fast, I’ve always done well in the jobs I’ve had. I can & will do my job. I just want to stop working in food, but nowhere is giving me a changes I’m fucking good. The only reason I lest sonic even though, they never trained me, and kept fuck up my schedule, & a had 1 to the paic attracts a day. Is because on my way to work I had to walk, I don’t have a car, I’m scared of a bike, the bus was often inefficient for me(especially with covid fucking up the schedule), and I don’t have the money for lift or uber.
I finally had a place who seemed interested in me, Sally’s, I finally get interview, job advertised in my area, half way into my interview told me, there were only hiring in at a location in a different city an hour away by car. Nowhere did any of the info for the job say it was in a different city. It said it was on my street. Note I was fucking heartbroken. Note it’s not the only job I’ve applied for mind you. Everywhere I’ve tried just gives me the run around. I’m fucking tired. Like mother fucker just tell me you’re not hiring you lieing sack of shit. I apply, and call, and call, and apply and call. I fucking hate this.
 I will fucking work my god damn ass off. But on one will give me a mother fucking chance. Like bah, and then the not being able to apply out of a 4 mile area is such a pain in my ass. Then this motherfucking gardening center. I’ve applied 5 time, called more times then ive been able to keep track off I’ve bothered there workers 15 odd time. Fucking give me an interview. I will be there at 4 am water plants. Every god damn day. Yoyve had that help wanted sign out there for 7 months. This is bullshit. I just want to be able to pay for food.
 I just want to be able to pay for my sleeping meds. I’m might as well be literally begging. With the amount of work I’ve been putting in to this shit. But my family treats me like shit. They do care, they’re not helping. I’m trying. I’m constantly stressed out over every bite of food I eat, cuss I never know where I’m going to get the next on.
 Then my fucking friend queen who helps me too much, gets how hard it is to get a job cuss she had been try for 2 years to get a nether one, is always guilting me about how I need to movie out with her, When I can’t even afford our phone bill. I can’t even get a drivers license because a have to take a 600 dollar class to even get one in this motherfucking stale. I have 500 in my bank account, my phone bill is at least 60 a mouth & I have say in it, I just have to play it.
 I just want a fucking job. I don’t want to work in fast food any more. But if even put in appalion to all of the ones in my area, that’s not working ether I don’t know want to fucking do. I really don’t. I’m trying I have stopped.
 Ok good things.
I have friends who care about me. Who I can talk to, I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t have them.
I got to wear a Halloween costume for the first time in years.
I saw some of my friends, this weekend that I haven’t seen in mouths because of covid.
I’m get regular really good sex.
I still get to play DND regularly.
I have a partner who actually fucking cares about me.
I have shelter.
 I’m contently stress, but least I’m not alone any more. There was a time where I had no one. There ar people in my life who won’t let me go even if I pushed them. Not everyone is like that, but I have really friends. They might as well be my family. I’m still not used to having people who really care about me. Who see me as worth more than I do. If I didn’t have that I really wouldn’t be here.
 I honestly I’m so grateful to then for them.
 I’m not going to stop trying.
Life can be hard.
 The sun is going to rise tomorrow with or without me.
 That just as much reason to live, as it is to not. I just want to do my best to make other happy while I can.
 Ok plans for the next few days Landry. Vote. See my mom for a little bit. Apply, and work on getting work. Paint minis. Draw. Give my boyfriend a pinecone for our on year anniversary.
 Signing off.
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