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Yesterday a kid said to me "excuse me? Your hair looks like beautiful anime hair" which is already amazing and then she said "watch me on your camera when I go down the slide I'm going to do the Peter Griffin death pose when I come out" and she sure did.

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whichever ad exec at Geico came up with the phrasing "up to 15% or more" needs some kind of award for concocting one of the most meaningless strings of words in the English language. all it guarantees is that the number is either lower or higher than 15%, inclusive. up to 15%... or more. a bladeless knife with no handle.

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Found an insane baby picture

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tumblr is messy and misinformed

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doing social media training at my job like i don't run a blog that would make me unemployable

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great! now do the same medical study with women

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I told myself that if I ever need anything to paint I should pick the first photo I see on my dash and paint it and this was the first one so I committed.

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There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

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was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

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i think the hardest i’ve ever been owned was when my boyfriend and i were talking about our favorite feelings/sensations and he was like “my top 9 out of 10 feelings are sex with you” and i was like “aw baby🥺🥺🥺. what’s the tenth one??” and he didn’t hesitate even a little before saying “sex with your mom”

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I wish everyone who has a job in advertising becomes homeless someday. So they can Google nearby public assistance and see ads for payday loans like I did