#ive started a while ago with a lot (a lot-lot) of sketches from reference to practice right angles and right proportions; it's always fun

[black-leather-sketchbook]

[cattocavo]

Six sketch sunday

Thanks so much for tagging me @thewholelemon

I actually have something pretty exciting to share if i do say so myself!

In november 2022 i did a master study of romeo and juliet by frank bernard dicksee. I was very happy with it. But over time I’ve become less and less happy with it, specifically how baz looks :((

This is due to the fact that i traced A LOT in late 2022 (I was 15 ok, I’m sure we’ve all had one of those phases😭) I traced the whole painting, but baz was hard bc the original painting featured a woman, and her whole figure was covered by a white loose dress. 2022 me did their best interpreting the shapes and forming a new body for baz, but honestly they didn’t do it very well. Ive hated Baz’s face and body for a while now, but still loved simon and the painting in general. Which is why I came to the conclusion that for me to be at peace and happy with it again, I have to remaster it!

And again I’ve had this on my mind for a while now, mulling it over, because it’s quite a big project. But 7 days ago i finalized my decision and started looking at references and whatnot. It took me so long to find references bc I was confused of the angle of Juliet’s head in the original painting (so I’ve changed the angle whoops) and i needed to make sense of it all. Before i knew it i had spent 5 hours (according to procreates tracker) drawing, and literally nothing had changed.. but then i spent like 2 hours more and THAT did it. It was like digging a whole in the ground searching for water. You dig a little and nothing happens, and when you finally dig deep enough the water reveals itself like a goldmine.

Anyways, i haven’t gotten around to do any recoloring yet, so ill show you the sketch (ahem, traced) of my 2022 version versus what I have now

The one on the left is the 2022 version. The one on the right is the current sketch.

I’m trying to incorporate a lot more body language from baz this time around. I think the old sketch of baz was very rigid. His torso is very short 💀 my biggest issue was his face though. It was far too feminine. The bone structure wasn’t exactly giving baz, in fact the whole face didn’t look like baz to me. The expression also bothered me, it was too superficial. Like it’s exactly the predictable expression you expect him to have. I tried to spice it up in the new version by making him appear a bit more anguished. It’s romeo and juliet after all.

Im currently looking at references to what clothes he should be wearing (don’t worry, i wont cover up his sleeves. Even if it’s more time period accurate) so if y’all have any inspo or suggestions, feel free to share them with me!

While baz is the inly thing getting completely redone, I’m also touching up some other thins. Just giving it a more refined, finished look overall. The plants in the original were really messily done, so i’m gonna work a lot on those. 2022 me also slacked on the curtains, so I’m repainting those to match the original frank bernard painting.

Once I’m done with it all i think i might sell some prints. Ive gotten requests to sell prints of this one before, but never really got around to do more than research. If i do make prints, I’m a bit worried they’ll all go to waste bc they’ll have to be shipped from denmark, and shipping in expensive :(( (I’ve tried to set up middlemen and it didn’t work for me. Red bubble wont even allow me to add a credit card😬) but if y’all are still interested in prints, do let me know! Ill definitely put in more of an effort to make it happen if i know it wont be in vain :))

Thats all from me for today :3 see ya next time

(Also check out what my COBB partner @thewholelemon is doing! It’s gonna be so good!)

Tags! @monbons @raenestee @j-nipper-95 @orange-peony

Id love to see what y’all are doing!

[skulkingfoxes]

hi, i bought your comic "twigs" and loved it, i was wondering if you had any willingness to share the process of making it?

im an artist whos trying to start doing comics but i find the idea of starting a larger scale comic (such as kingfisher) wildly intimidating in terms of art direction. im trying to start small, such as a 30 page comic (ive done 5-10 page comics before) but i still find the art direction so scary lol

(Oh god this sent is was much longer ago than I thought I'm so sorry I took so long)

First off, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked Twigs, it's a project that still holds special place in my heart.

Okay, SO- the Twigs you know today was made originally for Shortbox, a digital comic fair for debuting short comics.

The concept of what would become Twigs was one developing in my brain for a while. Or, rather, the concept of a changeling trying to figure out where they belong after the person they were meant to replace comes home. At that point though, the changeling was just a cute fairy boy, because who wouldn’t want that. It was playing with the idea of choosing your own family and where you belong. But it was only a vague half idea, I didn’t really have a good sense of how long it could be or even what the point was. I remember musing that it was a story that I would probably never make. These are the only sketches I made for it.

It wasn’t till I remembered another variant of the changeling, one where the creature was just an enchanted bale of hay or twigs and thrown into the fire once they’re discovered. I wondered what it was like to realize that you are in fact completely disposable, destined to fall apart and be forgotten. I thought this was far too depressing of a concept and that I would never use it.

If you’ve read the story, then you know that I changed my mind. The idea just stuck around in my brain too much, it gave such a bittersweetness to the story. It was then the story began to come together. I ended up writing the whole first draft of the outline in a phone-tapping frenzy at 1 am. It's almost stream of conscious prose, where I write out how I imagine the scene going. I'm a very visual thinker.

You mostly asked this in terms of how I figured things out visually. Something that helped me out when I first started was making a pinterest board. It was very useful to put together a visual library to help gestate my ideas and vision for the story.

The inspiration of the witch was the folk tale character Baba Yaga, so that was a starting place for her and, since her home is an extension of her, figuring out the cottage. Down to earth, practical, with an agelessness to them. The Witch doesn't share her home with others so everything in it is suited to her. But it's also warm and cozy, since the cottage serves as a safe space for the characters to talk and rest. Getting reference photos helped a lot in imagining the home and making it feel lived-in.

You can also see me finding a couple of photos that helped my picture the character Tristan and his big feather cloak and other illustrations/photos reflect the world I wanted to create. A dark ancient setting with strangeness and sense of whimsy. Like a sad fairytale.

Don't be afraid to look at movies, books, paintings, etc when finding visual inspiration! For another project, a colored comic based in the Salem Witch trials, I was taking screenshots from the movie VVitch to copy the palette lol. Be a scavenger! Do studies! Take pieces of everything around you to make something unique!

After that, I admit, a lot of it was a lot of sketching, Drawing out ideas, figuring out vibes, I took a pen to cheap sketchbook and just brainstormed. This is how I often bang out design- just keep drawing them until it feels right. It feels a bit like carving away at clay to find the statue underneath. I like designing with a pen because it keeps me from getting too precious with the drawings. These sketches are meant for exploring, not for drawing anything nice yet.

(I know there was a lot more than this but I can't find those files now rip)

I also say- you don't have to figure everything out before you start drawing. It's great to get used to drawing your characters and maybe a blue layout of certain rooms, but it's not 100% needed.

I've seen comic artists obsess over perfecting character sheets and concept art and never actually starting the comic. I've never made a character sheet unless a job demanded I did.

I'm sure there is some pithy quote here I could use, but I find so much of comics to be improv based on what a scene needs lol. If the characters go to the other side of a room that I didn't design, I will probably just find a decent reference (thank you pinterest) sketch it out, and use that.

This really is a great representation of my process 80% of the time.

Whew that ended up being long lol. Sorry about that. But I hope it was helpful at all!

[grilledpook]

fame au lore dump wheee

ive been planning it alot and the au is no where near done, but i want to show you guys what we have right now. i say we because im considering it a collab between me, @/bonnieiscool (using his oc (there'll be more), and story planning) and @/bugwz (making refsheets)!!

a few CWs right out the gate: this au covers some very heavy subjects, such as toxic relationships, substance abuse, self-destruction, and, well, death.

so here's the rundown and some sketches:

over a decade ago, edd, matt, tom and tord formed a sludge metal band, having developed a slow, melancholy but powerfully gritty style. their band name has changed many times since the inception, but they now go by the sludgecans. the group was gaining success on an upward trajectory and for a while, it was great! but then, a very public freak accident took the life of tord, the band's drummer. from then, their fall from grace was a slow, painful downward spiral.

currently, edd, matt, and tom are living in a 4-bedroom apartment building with hopes of finding a permanent 4th member, but the candidates never stick around too long. they deal with what you'd expect of washed up celebrities: rumors, extremely mixed receptions at whatever gigs they can get, and so much invasive media coverage.

most people don't like the bandmates, they just dabble in their music or tolerate them in whatever shoddy gigs they can still get. however, their most loyal fans say that the strife they've gone through as a band adds to their truly unique sound. "there's nothing else like it."

edd has the stage name podge, as a reference to the fact he's the glue barely holding the group together. he refuses to acknowledge this band isn't healthy for any of them anymore, the jam sessions they had as teens are long gone. he keeps things together by simply hoping the glaring problems will go away, obviously a terrible mindset. he cares about his friends but his actions absolutely don't show it. he can't bear to see them break up.

tom (aka checkers, which he hates,) is really not doing well. he deals with his demons in really bad ways (like turning to smirnoff and locking himself in his room.) it doesn't help that gossip journalists won't stop coming around to ask him about his thoughts on matt's hookups... it really nails it in for him. he's in an endless cycle of breaking up, crying it out and crawling back to matt.

matt, who goes by rose matte as a stage name, plays into the vampire thing a lot with his tats and outfits. his family was well off so he's into the finer things in life. he's terrified of commitment, once he gets into a serious relationship he doesn't like the idea that he wouldn't be able to keep his options open anymore, and yet he's in an on again off again relationship with tom. it is quickly apparent that he's incredibly toxic.

oh boy, tord...

i don't have a stage name for him yet, but he was the 4th member until he was crushed by a stage light at a live performance. he and edd had feelings for one another, but didn't get together while tord was alive. edd has a lot of regrets now, often speaking to tord while he's alone as if he's there. these would also be the only moments where edd sheds his optimistic front.

don't worry, ringo doesn't get the angst treatment. she's an old girl but she's still there, usually hanging out with edd since tom isolates himself and she doesn't like matt.

now here's a character specifically for this au: susan. she's tom's ex, former bandmate, and the namesake of his bass. they've both moved on from the band they got their start in, though she felt bad about the fact the sludgecans have comparatively fallen on hard times.

she'll play a major role in the story, coming back to help the band members work through their issues and find some joy in their lives again. especially tom, since he has many more demons now than when they were dating.

there's still alot more for me to do, references to be made, stories to finish planning, and eventually the comic to draw.

[freebooter4ever]

Hi! I really love your work— do you have any advice for someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience drawing human forms/anatomy? I dont really know where to start 😅

Thank you!!!! ^_^

So first off, bear with me, I'm going to point you to some of my old old art. In general, any 'progress'/tutorial type stuff i post goes into the "wip" tag: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/wip

The rest of this discussion is going under a cut lol

I've been drawing since i was a kid - as my grandma likes to tell it i would sit quietly at the card table next to her and make her draw with me because "everyone can draw, grandma". Sometime around high school i got it into my head that i needed a 'class' to understand anatomy, as if it was just this magical thing i would suddenly understand. (college was useless) The truth is i didnt start getting better until recently, when i gave up trying to 'learn' anatomy and just started studying bodies. That sounds weird, but i don't know how else to describe it? If someone told me ages ago that i could learn anatomy the same way i self-disciplined myself into being able to pull out computer science concepts at the drop of the hat, i feel like i wouldn't have wasted so much time but anyway...

Check out any doodles before my mchanzo era for drawings that i did prior to getting serious about practice studies: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/mchanzo. Terrible anatomy. Atrocious. (with one exception that i still like which is a poster on sasha bees' wall hey bees if you're reading this) 2016 ish.

THEN 2017 i lost my job, moved away from pittsburgh, missed my DJ friends, watched a documentary on netflix about st*ve aoki (after watching everything vaguely DJ related on the streaming service lol), and the aoki drawing era begins: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/steve%20aoki. I joke that the way I learned anatomy was by becoming obsessed with a DJ who contorts himself into very strange positions and has photographers that take photos of him from LITERALLY every angle and who tends to walk around half naked an unusually large amount of time but like...that's literally what happened. Not that im saying you have to start drawing half naked DJ's...just find a subject you dont mind drawing hours of studies from and it makes it a lot easier.

When I'm doing 'studies' I tend to do two separate drawings. Initially I literally just 'study' what I'm looking at - I put it in photoshop and trace the lines that I see. I don't OUTLINE it, there is a huge difference. A lot of times the lines that stand out are not the outlines but rather a dominant shadow or sharp edge. After I feel like I've got a good handle on it, I do another drawing of the pose freehand. Then I take the original photo and put it underneath that drawing and check where I've messed up. If I'm completely off I throw it away and start again, lol. If there's a few errors I fix them. More and more lately I find that the freehand drawing is fairly accurate with anatomy unless it's an unusual or challenging perspective. I break this down more in this post using joe as an example: https://freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/post/633653906052923392/its-been-a-while-since-ive-posted-one-of-these

Those study drawings rarely see the light of day. I just delete them when I'm done because i didn't have an...aim...? For the drawing. They just were to learn.

The doodles that I post on here? Some of the simpler ones are practice sketches from gifs - i will have a gif running next to my drawing and will try to draw what i see, freehand. Some of the more complicated drawings/portraits are from photos - but there's usually something i see in the photo that i want to convey? Like light? or a specific part of anatomy? I dunno, i make shit up as i go.

AND THEN there's my favorite, when i have done all this practice and i can do shit like drawing characters from my imagination. Like kenny hugging his cat. These don't have any reference - im just relying on my memory of anatomy i've drawn in the past.

I dunno. Dont let bad anatomy get you down, just keep trying. My anatomy hero - a sculptor ethan idolized and i idolize by default - even said himself that he doesn't feel like an 'expert', and he's in his 40's and has been doing this shit for decades. Just draw!!! The more you do it, the more you'll start to see what you like, and how you can make it how you like even more. I still think my anatomy is bad, im still embarrassed by it. But i also know i've gotten better because i can see it now.

ANYWAY this is long, im exhausted, i have to go to bed now :) and i was serious about scheduling an abs livestream. Maybe this weekend if im ambitious.

[glamfellens]

Hello, I really hope this isn't a bother, but I absolutely love your art and I was wondering if you had any advice for beginner artists? Thank you, if you find time for this!

hi!! no problem at all

i know literally everyone says this but the first thing is practice. even if its just a small doodle everyday, i think its important to just try to do a little something. it doesnt have to be perfect

draw inspiration from lots of different sources! ive had a couple of people ask me before how to pin down a “style” and honestly it comes with time. mines been developing for the last ten years or so, and u should take inspiration from as many places as possible. it shouldn’t be just limited to what kind of style you want to create, or envision yourself as creating, because it’ll just end up being a copy of whatever it is you’re looking at i’m not sure that makes sense lol so i’ll use my art as an example. ive been told a few times it has like disney vibes, which i can definitely see, but my biggest inspirations are things like impressionism and 19th century portraiture (think john singer sargent), 1950s magazine and fashion illustrations, earl oliver hurst, charles dana gibson, disney concept art and other artists who’s work ive seen across the internet. i have an art tag on my blog which i put art into that i like or feel inspired by

one of the biggest things that helped me is like...whenever i get super into a series, my biggest examples being inuyasha and dragon age, my art improves drastically because i’m drawing fan art constantly. if u look at my art between feb 2020 and today i think theres a big improvement. or i hope so anyway lmao

life drawing is important, even if your art is less realistic and more cartoonish or exaggerated, its good to get the basics down so u always have a good foundation to work with

i fell out of the habit a while ago but watching speedpaints on youtube is like a fun way to see how other people work. its always good to share ideas and work with friends if they are also artists

since art is so accessible now thanks to the internet its really easy to compare yourself to other people and feel down about your skills if you dont feel like you compare to other artists out there. this is definitely something i need to work on myself but age is unimportant and art isnt a competition, you should try not to see rivalries but inspiration

references!! references references!!! i guarantee anything u draw with a reference will look 100% better. on that note i have seen people claim that tracing isnt helpful but i think it can be. it can give you a basic idea of the shape of whatever it is your drawing. of course, dont trace other artists artwork lol

if you feel yourself getting frustrated with something, just put it down and give yourself a break. it will probably look better when you go back to it, because like most of the time, my art just looks weird to me because ive been staring at it for too long

i dont do this but i know i should... you should start with warm up sketches before launching yourself into a big project or anything. it just helps warm you up

i hope this helps a little, im sorry its not super coherent but its 6am lmfao

[ad1thi]

and then there’s you | Au-gust Day 8: Superheroes/Superpowers AU

AU-gust masterlist

i took a brief hiatus but now im back!! this is possibly one of my favourite things ive written, ever

//

Steve was never expecting to get along with James. He didn't have the best start with Tony - even though he likes to believe that they've moved past that and have become good friends - and James' protective streak was well known. After all, the man broke records trying to fly back to New York fast enough and managed to show up just as the Hulk picked up Tony from the sky.

 He still remembers the way James landed around them with a thud, his faceplate snapping up and shoving all of them to the side so that he could get to Tony. He remembers the way Tony's face softened; the way James reached out with one metal encased hand to awkwardly rub his hair before settling on his shoulder.

 He remembers fiercely missing the time in his life when someone looked at him like that, like he was the reason the world continued turning.

 In retrospect, Steve honestly should've seen this whole thing coming, but he's still blindsided by the whole thing.

After the last of the Chitauri are felled down, Thor and James raging in the sky until they drop like flies, they regroup back at Stark Tower. It's almost too easy, over in a matter of hours, even though Steve feels like it's taken ages. They lock the Spectre away and clasp chains around Loki's body - and he can release a breath that he didn't know he was holding it.

 "Colonel Rhodes," he says, later, when they're all lounging in a beatdown shawarma joint, shamelessly taking advantage of an extremely grateful store-owner, “I just wanted to say thank you for all your help. Having two heavy hitters in the sky really helped us take down the stragglers. We couldn't have done it without you."

 James and Tony (from where he's resting on James' shoulder) both turn to him and give him identical looks, the kind that makes Steve want to duck his head and rub the back of his neck.

 "No need to thank me Cap," James says finally, "Just doing my civic duty." But he keeps looking at Steve, in a way that stirs feelings inside Steve that he thought had died when he went into the ice.

 Guess not.

 He nods once and is saved from answering by Tony grabbing the Colonel into another discussion. He takes another bite into his wrap, the food feeling wooden inside his mouth. Tony has one hand in the air, gesticulating wildly, but the other is wound around James, inter-twined with his own. It twists something inside Steve, and he tries to tell himself that it's just him missing his life before the ice. Before he was dropped into the twenty first century.

 He looks up to see Thor giving him an all too knowing look for a man who only met him a couple of hours ago. It makes him so uncomfortable that he stands abruptly, pulling both Tony and Rhodey out of their conversation.

 "I have to go," he says stiffly, "I have some work to attend to. I'll see you guys at the Helicarrier tomorrow at 0900 for a debrief," he nods at his team, "Colonel, it would good to meet you."

"Call me James," he says, nonplussed, "that’s what everyone who isn't this fella calls me," he thumbs at Tony; who's face twists in mock outrage.

 Steve doesn't say anything, spinning on his heel and all but running out of the shawarma joint, lest he dwell too strongly on the fact that James called Tony fella.

 Despite their horrendous first meeting, Steve and James actually get on fairly well. He's in New York a lot, despite still being on active duty. Ostensibly, it's because the War Machine - now rebranded as Iron Patriot armour needs regular check-ups and after what Tony and James mysteriously refer to as the Hammer incident - Tony is the only one who fiddles with it.

 It makes sense, since Tony designed the damn thing, but Steve knows that James is a genius of his own right. Privately, he thinks that James is equipped to deal with any and all faults in the armour, but he makes it a point to come for Tony. Watching your bestfriend strap a nuke to his back and fly into space with no concrete desire to return tends to do that to someone. Hell, if Bucky had pulled something like that he wouldn't have left him out of his sight.

 Besides, now that Steve has been living with him and gotten to know the man behind the mask so to speak, he can see why Tony inspires that kind of loyalty. The way he badly misjudged Tony still digs at him, even though Tony has waved off his apologies multiple times and promises that he harbours no bad feelings.

 Steve isn't complaining though. He likes that James visits, even though he frowns everytime James complains about how hard it was to finagle time with his superiors. Clint calls it his Captain America face, says that he makes it every time he thinks there's a fight. Steve doesn't know if he has a specific face, but he does know that it doesn't sit right with him that James has to fight that much to come stateside.

 That was the whole point of the War, that they would fight so that future generations don't have to. There's a lot to be said for the twenty first century. His country's proclivity with inserting themselves into every war that side of the Atlantic isn't one of them.

 Still, James' regular check-ups mean that Steve has gotten a chance to get to know Tony's bestfriend - since he winds up spending a lot of time in the workshop these days; sketching while Tony putters around. It's like white noise - the sound of a wrench or a blowtorch, interspersed with Tony and JARVIS sniping with each other, and it reminds Steve of the barracks, of the Howlies huddled around a single fire and sniping around each other.

 (It reminds him that he's no longer alone)

 When James comes however, the entire workshop lights up, and Steve along with it. Despite his best efforts, the smidgen of interest he'd felt in the shawarma joint has buried itself inside him, planted seeds and grown around his heart. It doesn't help that James is one of the most easy-going people he's ever met, the kind of person one gravitates to.

 He reminds Steve deeply of Bucky, but then again - Steve was never overcome with the urge to bear Bucky down and kiss him until they both couldn't breathe.

 "Steve!" James cries out, as the workshop doors open with the faintest snick, "It's good to see you."

Steve looks up from his sketchbook - where he's been drawing James funnily enough - and gives him a warm smile, "James. Good to see you. How's the Iron Patriot?"

"Don't call it that," Tony wags his wrench at Steve, looking like he's contemplating the merits of lobbing it at him, "You do not call it that in my workshop. This is a sacred space."

 "She's handling like a dream," James says over Tony, but he still walks over and pulls Tony in for a small hug before making his way over to Steve. The first time this had happened, Steve was almost jealous, but he's since realised that it's just a part of James' schedule. The need to physically remind himself that Tony is okay.

 "There's been a couple of tough missions," he continues with a grimace, after he's done surreptitiously looking Tony over and found his way to the couch where Steve is currently propped up. "I've definitely got some fresh bullet dents. But nothing Tony can't fix, isn't that right Tony?" he calls out to where Tony has turned back to his holo-screens and gets a half-hearted gesture in response that Steve takes to mean that Tony has heard James.

 "Enough about me though, not in the least because I could be arrested for going into detail," James reaches out and places his hand over Steve's; and it takes everything in Steve to not react to the touch, "You getting through the list okay?"

 A month into his stay at the Tower, Steve was listlessly chewing a banana in the Common Room when James came out for some water and saw him. "They taste weird," he'd said, when James asked if the banana had done something to offend him, "I guess I was just hoping it was something that hadn't changed."

James had regarded him for a second, and then pulled out a napkin from thin air, "You should make a list. It's what I tell most of my rookies, when they're going back after a long tour. Make a list of everything you want to catch up and work through it on your own pace. At the very least, it gives you something to do."

 Ever since then, Steve keeps a small black book on his person, filling it with a never-ending list of things. The entire team pitches in, depending on what it is that Steve is about to discover about the twenty-first century. Steve likes it best when James carves out time for him though.

 "I'm adding more things than I'm crossing out," Steve admits, and James clucks sympathetically, "but it's good. I've not Star Wars on my list next? And Tony made me promise to wait for you to come back so that both of you could introduce it to me together."

 James whistles lowly, but his eyes light up, "Oh I am so happy that you waited for me for this. Never listen to Tony, he thinks the prequels deserve rights," he bends down to whisper at Steve loudly, "we don't recognise the prequels."

"Is that prequels slander I hear in my safe haven?" Tony pipes up, spinning around to face them. He's still got the wrench in his hand, "Don't make me revoke your access honeybear because I will, don't test me."

 James holds up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm going to go freshen up," he says with a clap, "but after I'm back, we can discuss Star Wars strategy."

 Steve watches him go, until he disappears around the corner. When he looks back at the workshop, he sees Tony looking at him with a look that's half speculative, half sympathetic.

 "You know that nothing can happen right?" he says apropos of nothing, but Steve knows exactly what he's talking about, "It's against the law. DADT. If his superiors find out, his career is over. 's why me and him ended in the first place."

  Steve found out about Tony and James' history only a month ago, and the sting has faded. Mostly because he knows it was a long time ago, and neither of them harbour those feelings anymore.

 "I know," Steve says carefully, because Tony is still James' bestfriend, "and I wouldn't ask him to risk that. Doesn't change how I feel though. And if I have to wait, or hide it, or even ignore it until he's ready to deal with it - I'm ready for all of it."

 Tony nods, like it's the answer he's expected, "You'll be good for him Steve. He deserves someone who'll wait." Unlike me, who didn't goes unsaid.

 "I don't expect anything from him Tony," Steve says, looking Tony right in the eye, "but I can't just pretend I don't feel the way I do. Especially not if there's the barest possibility that he feels the same."

 Steve isn't generally good with these sorts of things, recognising interest. Still, he doesn't think he's imagined the looks he's gotten from James the past couple of times he's been over, over misread the touching, the talking, the borderline flirting.

 "He does," Tony confirms, "but like I said - nothing can happen." He says in a careful tone, and it takes Steve a couple seconds to cotton onto what Tony is implying. It leaves a rush through him, reminding him of back-alley trysts, protected by the shadows.

 "Nothing can happen," Steve repeats, and Tony pointedly turns his back as Steve leaps up from the couch and follows James out. He thinks about calling ahead, or maybe messaging - but there's a decent chance that James already knows about this conversation, since Tony wouldn't have brought it up unless James had expressly allowed him too.

 Steve might not know much about the twenty first century, but bro-code well enough.

 He knocks on James' door, thrumming with energy, and his heart stutters when James opens it in a towel; one around his waist, catching the droplets of water falling down his chest, and another around his neck.

 "Steve?" he asks, and there's no mistaking the hopeful tone in his voice. It confirms Steve's suspicions, that Tony was talking to him on behalf of James.

 Steve doesn't reply, just pulls him for a kiss.

 Fin

[heliophilial]

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒔 . (a tbz 3rd year anniversary special)

genre :angst ,fluff (more of brotherhood)

group and member involved :the boyz ,all members are involved !

between :the whole group and thebs hello cuties <3

warnings :u may or may not cry but i cried typing this so gluck ig HWUJDF

word count :844 (i didn’t count my notes to thebs and the boys in)

brief description :when all seems dull ,when times are grey ,it is only when we are together that the world gains its colour .theres no one else like you ,no one else like us ,theres really nothing like us .

playlist :literally just nothing like us by justin bieber like a 1 hr loop or smth ,depends on how long u take to read this

before you continue to read also please note that ‘we’ refers to thebs here !!

quiet .peaceful .light snores of the members filled the dorm .the room filled with nothing but darkness .black shade hovering over the members faces .they had just wrapped up a little celebration in the living room with cakes and party poppers to celebrate their 3rd year together not long ago .shortly after wrapping up the party ,they had fallen asleep on the couch ,all lying on one another comfortably .

sangyeon slowly blinked his eyes open .he rubbed his eyes and slowly unwrapped eric's hands from his waist and placed chanhee's legs that were on his lap onto the space of the sofa that he had previously occupied .careful to not wake the members up .

he looked at the members' sleeping forms and smiled ,glad that they were finally able to catch some rest after their packed schedules .he walked to the kitchen to fetch himself a glass of water and at the corner of his eyes ,he spotted a glimmering light .he placed his glass down and approached the light that was so very alluring for some reason .

there on the shelf of where all their awards have been placed on ,laid a book with its contents blinding his eyes with its bright light .he inspected the book for a while before proceeding to open it with caution .

inside the book ,there were sketches of the key moments the members have shared together such as their debut stage ,their first ever music show award as well as their first ever full length album promos .as he flipped to the first page that displayed their first moment together ,there were harsh winds blowing past him and a force from the book pulled him towards the page and right into it .

he looked at the 12 boys on stage ,introducing themselves for the first time to the whole wide world .and he looked at them with pride and honour in his eyes ,the boys' who had no idea what being idols would be like for themselves ,clueless of what the future had in store for them .he looked at them from the bottom of the stage and sucked in a breath ,"wow we've really grown a lot ."he thought .

after they had introduced themselves as a group and individually ,the sight in front of him suddenly pauses and his attention gets diverted to the door to his right .

he walked into the room .

he gets transported to the very first time they cried together ,over the pain ,over the stress ,over the tiredness of it all .

he looked at the 12 boys shedding tears of pain .he swallowed the lump in his throat ,the feelings of helplessness ,confusion ,fear coming washing over him once again as he sees the very moment they broke down .

tears flows down his face ,and that my friends are tears of the caretaker ,the leader ,the person whom the members depend on ,lee sangyeon .

as heavy as the weight he carried ,the tears poured like a fierce and powerful waterfall .

and then the door right next to him yet again invites him to step into yet another memory .

he steps onto the stage of road to kingdom ,and as he looks ahead the ending poses of all their road to kingdom stages are there right in front of him .all the members still and not moving ,just statures .

he walks down the long stretch ,as he looks at the legacy they left behind ,the power and strength ,the confidence from these stages that the members have gained progressively with each stage .

as he finally reaches the other end of the stage ,the screen opens up to when they had their 'the stealer'promotions .where they had their wins .

his smile grew wider and wider as he walked through all the performances they have done for the stealer and all the trophies they have gotten from the era .

and finally he reached another door .a door with a question mark on it .

he opens the door ,to pitch black .

darkness ,just darkness .and the fear in sangyeon grew ,"what does this darkness mean ?what is it gonna be for us ?"

suddenly , the door creaks open to reveal the members one by one .

sangyeon looks up at them and suddenly the fear stops ,hes no longer afraid as he looks into their eyes .

they ran to him and extended their hands out to him .

he proceeds to embrace all the members into a big tight group hug .drops of colour starts to paint the room ,slowly forming a picture showing the many stages they have performed ,every milestone theyve achieved ,the concerts ,every moment with their fans ,every moment together ,every vlives .everything starts out when theyre together .

we opened the door carefully ,proceeding to join our hands together and form a circle surrounding the boys .as we cried tears of joy and pride ,we hugged each other as well and this is when we knew

"theres nothing like us ,theres nothing like you and me ,together through the storm ."

for thebs

thank you for being one of the most caring ,loving ,welcoming and inclusive fandoms ever .to all the thebs all around thw world ,thank you for supporting them and giving them love as well .i love yall <3 lets protect them at all costs ♡

for my beloved boys

hello my loves ❤ik its 12 am in korea already but i still just wanna type this for you !so there's really a lot of things i want to say to you ,im sure many of us have already said whatever im about to say but i will still say it to remind you or to let you know that ,yes ,you do make me feel that way ,you do make me feel those kinds of feelings .

i dont know how ,like no nothing at all can show how grateful i am towards you .i cant tell you how many times there were this year when i just got beaten up (mentally)to the point that i couldnt even have the energy to stand back up and continue life normally .but whenever these times come ,ik i just know even though youre not here physically ,i know you want me to stop crying ,i know you would want me to stop hurting myself and i know you would stay with me even when my walls come crashing down onto me .you made me feel the greatest kind of happiness possible ,i never knew that this feeling was even possible to feel until i met you .

there was never a moment when i regretted stanning you ,supporting you and giving you all my heart and soul ,my energy ,everything .i just want you to know that you are so special ,so wonderful ,so incredibly talented ,so hardworking ,so beautiful ,just the most amazing bunch of people ever .ive never seen people so passionate ,so ready to help ,so genuinely loving and caring towards the people who love them .

i know its hard to be an idol ,and i know that its especially hard to even speak your mind ,speak what you wanna say without having the media chase you down .but i just wanna let you know that we are and will be by your sides forever .no matter what happens ,im sure ,very sure u know that u can run right back into our arms like how uve always welcome us back into urs .u are the people who made me feel the most bizarre feelings ,beyond happiness ,beyond joy ,beyond euphoria ,beyond all the feelings ive ever felt in my whole 16 years of living .

we are so proud of you of how far youve come ,how much youve accomplished .im so so proud ,so so happy to be able to call myself a fan of yours ,a theb ,someone who so dearly supports you .and i really hope you know that .i would wish for there to never be an end to this .for all i know ,im in this shit for life ,forever ,till the end .

im just so happy because of you ,i feel joy ,i see the light in life ,the reasons to live ,so much more prominent to me now because of you .there will come one day ,when we can finally see each other face to face and i can finally shout out to you ,my words of gratitude ,my words of thanks and my words filled with love and affection for you and just see your faces .but till then ,please take good good care of urselves ,rest well and eat well okay !we're always here ,remember !❤

its really been a rocky and crazy ride these 3 years ,you my friend ,are indeed the best character i can ever invite into my story 💜i hope youre sleeping tight ,i love you so much more than words can ever describe .with that ,happy 3 years to my favourites ,my loves ,my bbs ,my shining lights ,my everything ,happy 3 years to the boyz ❤💜💙💛 - berinne

[meruz]

some asks - sorry some of these are kind of old. I only get around to answering stuff once in a blue moon.

I do not! Nothing against it but I just don’t personally enjoy the process so I don’t use it in my personal work. Too much transforming and filtering.. too little actual drawing. I have however used it for professional work and sometimes I will sketch things individually and collage them together to make it easier for me to work depending on the scale. But yeah, no photobashing normally.

Thank you! (post in reference) I didn’t use any perspective grids for that drawing but occasionally for bigger pieces that require a stronger adherence to perspective I’ll use the Perspective Tools extension by Sergey Kritsky which is ABSOULTELY worth the price here on gumroad if you’re a photoshop-user - makes grids very easy to set up. You can actually see some of the grids in my process work if you’re looking for it lol

I used to be such a square abt it like “bluh perspective is just a bunch of lines i dont need a tool to do it for me like a DUMB BABY. I can just draw the grids myself and itll be good enough!!! :\” dont be like that LOL, I started using perspective tools for work last year and ported it over to my personal work so damn fast its like one of the best artistic decisions ive made. If you can make less work for yourself, PLEASE make less work for yourself.

I don’t remember what post this is but I’m like 90% its these brushes because these are like all the brushes I use LOL

hi yes thank you i LOVE grookey.

Thank you! They’re the best family!! KAROL IS MY FAVE........

you’re SO welcome. I recently watched Last Evolution Kizuna and [spoiler] WILLIS WAS IN ONE (1) SHOT...  [/spoiler] so whoever was in my comments section telling me toei would never bring willis back, I think you owe me like $20

Yep! My Instagram, Twitter... I don’t have a patreon because I’m too lazy to set up tiers but I have a ko-fi if you want to drop a lil tip in my metaphorical buskers hat

You’re probably done by the game by now given how old this ask is but I’m flattered my art got you to play!! And I’m glad you love Akechi though I’m curious to know if your feelings on him have changed since sending this LOL. His latter act character stuff is one of those things that can really turn an opinion one way or another.

Thank you! Though I want to preface this by saying I don’t take requests but you can always contact me for commissions at isellhotdogs@gmail.com.

I will probably draw naruto again because like every 4 years of my life I go through a naruto phase. I have drawn dangan ronpa before many many years ago and I gotta say the only time I will ever draw it again will be if I’m commissioned to lol...Nothing against it personally, it’s just not really my thing. Kiritetsu+Colossus.... I would but honestly I don’t even know what I’d draw, I feel like I covered it with that one drawing. But if you’ve got an idea... you can always commission me!!! And I’d be happy to.

Uhhhh they’re good! I like them! Yusuke’s character arc is maybe like my favorite or second favorite in the game and I love Ryuji first and foremost for max mittlemans voice acting and secondly because he is just so...so much better than P4 Yosuke who I truly could not stand.

I’m not big on Mishima but I think he’s an incredibly well written depiction of like. that dude in class who you didn’t really mean to talk to but ended up talking to and now its a little weird. I really like that event where you run into shinya while hanging out with mishima and shinyas like “whos this your friend” and ren is like “no, king, hes no one” LOL this is mostly because I just really like shinya. 

ships.... I like yusuke/ryuji a lot, just aesthetically and personality wise its an interesting dynamic. I like ryuji/ann bc theyre good friends. I like ann/yusuke if I close my eyes to all the early plot stuff and just pretend theyre like.....fujiko and goemon from lupin III LMAO. ryuji/makoto? kinda woke?? I mean I feel lesbian makoto deep in my bones but also their showtime opened my eyes a lil. I think they could bond over action movies. mishima/protag is kind of fun in like a sad pathetic way.. I’m a little interested in mishima/JOKER actually bc i like identity porn plotlines lol.

YEP GO AHEAD I’ve been getting a lot of messages like this lately so I want to lay it out here and I’ll probably copy paste it into a FAQ later lol.

8Tracks and Spotify Playlists: Go ahead! please credit me either meruz.tumblr.com twitter@automeru or ig@automeruz -  AND SEND ME THE PLAYLIST this is not a requirement really but I would love to listen to it.

Twitter/Tumblr Layouts/Headers: Good by me! but again PLEASE credit me somewhere VISIBLE on the layout. If it’s a twitter header/icon credit my twitter @automeru and if its tumblr credit my tumblr @meruz​

Phone BGs, Desktop Wallpapers: definitely ok!! Any personal and non-commercial use of this nature, I’m cool with. If you ask me, I may even send you a hi-res version of the file but you have to promise to not scam me and sell it lol...

Instagram Reposts: A lot of artists would say no but I’m gonna say go ahead as long as you credit and tag me in the post, again my ig is @automeruz - if you don’t, and I find it, I will bug you about it in the comments and possibly even report you. Nothing personal, its just standard procedure.

Twitter/Tumblr Re-posts: Don’t?? Just RT or RB it from me?? whats wrong with you? I will report this.

Other site re-posts: I’ll probably say yes but again please credit and for this one PLEASE ask me first. It’s nothing personal really, I just want to know where my work shows up.

Video edits/fancams/comic dubs: Yes! Absolutely go ahead! And please send me a link I especially love to see this stuff!!

I also reserve all rights have you take it down if I do not agree with the usage or context, especially association with politics on the webpage/app/etc. 

Thank you!!!!!!!! ;-; These are all so nice.. tucks them into a little pocket near my heart. I love drawing and I will keep trying my best to make art...! Hope you guys can look forward to it...!

[swifty-fox]

Hi! I know you posted it 4 years ago but I only just saw your "Adam Parrish Ventart" image and it's so lovely. I'm just so impressed by the rainbow reflections on his face and his HAIR - keep looking at it trying to figure out how you mastered the coloring but I can't. I was wondering if you'd ever post the layers individually from your works, or do a tutorial, because I literally can't even comprehend how you got those colors so perfectly.

Hey!! So I actually really only work on 2-3 layers and my style is much different now, however i can give a quick rundown of what i do! I'm working on a piece currently so I’ll use that guy

Firstly however, i learned the most important thing to learning tone is to work in b&w a lot (i have for the past 2 years) so you can understand how light and dark NEEDS to look. I was then able to translate to color after a couple years of only doing b&w 

I will say that in that particular image, the rainbow was just a basic overlap of color over the normal painting 

but essentially I start with my sketch 

So firstly I start with a sketch. Sometimes I start with an actual sketchbook sketch and then redo it digitally but not always. I start really loose, just trying to get form and function down. This can take a while, this sketch took like 6 hours or something (they can go really quick too though sometimes) 

Next thing I do is I block out color. I don't have a lot of screenshots of this stage but i use that same blue I sketched with to lay out some very chunky shadows like you see here. Underneath that i add all my basic colors, really loose and easy with it. I then will decide what tone i want the image to be overall, in this case I wanted to keep it pretty cool and blue so I filled a whole layer with a muted blue color and set it to overlay or soft light (i can't remember) but I usually stick in that little cluster for this step. This helps marry all the colors together. I adjust transparency as needed. 

next thing i do is what I like to call “effects” This is a technique I picked up from photographers and it helps me get the dramatic colors and tones in my image. I do this by using overlay gradients as well as curves, levels and color balance. Really I just fiddle with these until I get something I like 

I then merge all my layers except for the effects group into one layer. I then create a layer on top of THAt and that's what i use to render. Sometimes I’ll create additional layers for small things but merge frequently once I’m happy. 

So what my painting ACTUALLY looks like is this: 

I then just keep rendering and rendering until I reach a point where I am happy with the piece. I may go back and redo some of the effects now that there’s more colors and tones to the image but that's basically it! 

A couple tips: don't make everything super soft and blended, our bodies and objects have harsh and soft areas and a combo of sharp and soft shadows will help you really push your painting. Flesh tones usually contain elements of blue, purple yellow & pink and you should do your best to subtly add those in.

Now I will admit that painting darker tones is not something I’m super good at and it is a shortcoming of mine and something that i am practicing very hard at, but I do know unless done properly blues and purples can really wash out dark skin, so please be sure to be referring to BIPOC artists where you can to learn their methods for painting skin. 

But yeah, I’ve come a long way emotionally and skill-wise from that piece, here's a few other paintings ive done with this method! 

I don't know if any of this helped but hope so in some way!!!

[sun-summoning]

#25 Fashion Design - Marinette, Clara Nightingale

i.

When Clara firsts casts Marinette and soon gets to know her, she is absolutely certain that this girl is destined for greatness. She’s kind and well-loved and so utterly talented. Clara checks out Marinette’s Instagram and is a bit put out to see she doesn’t post as many of her designs as she should. She has full faith in her capabilities though so reaches out to her with a request anyway.

“You want me to design a gown for you,” Marinette repeats, blinking at her as if the idea is absurd.

“That’s right. I do.” Clara grins. “If anyone could make me look lovely, I have no doubt that it’s you.”

Marinette shakes her head. “Your music video literally featured outfits by Gabriel Agreste himself. And now you want to go downgrade to--”

“Don’t sell yourself short! You’re greater than you think.” She looks at the swatches of fabric strewn about on Marinette’s desk. “Now I was thinking something long, something flowy--maybe something pink?”

“Oh.” Marinette nods slowly, as if confirming for herself that this is actually happening. “You’re serious.”

“Of course I’m serious, or I wouldn’t have pressed. I just know that with you, I’d be the best dressed.”

And so over the next few months, Marinette designs the loveliest gown of dusty rose for her. It takes up virtually all of her free time and requires heaps of supplies that Clara can’t even name, but she gets them for Marinette anyway. The only thing Marinette seems to turn down is an assistant. 

Clara is positively radiant on the red carpet, twirling just so to show off her bodice embellished with rose appliques over a mesh that matches her skin. She glides along with her full, tulle skirt, and when she’s asked over and over who designed this gown for her, she refers everyone to Marinette’s Instagram account for her designs and commissions. 

Overnight, Marinette gains some thousand more followers and counting. 

-

ii.

Clara throws a grand party for her twenty-fifth birthday, something that wouldn’t be complete without an equally grand dress to turn everyone’s heads. She’s been dressed by countless fashion houses, but when it comes to these truly special moments, Clara can’t help but seek out Marinette again. 

“I know you’re still in university,” Clara says, “so I know you have school, but please, please, please, Marinette. Your designs always rule!”

Marinette giggles, wondering when she ended up on a first-name basis with one of Europe’s most adored singers. Probably between the album cover she designed for her two years ago and the gown she wore when she won an award for it. “It’s fine, Clara. I’d love to.”

“Really?”

“How could I not?” Marinette opens her Instagram and switches to her design account. She’s certainly been gaining attention from other designers and models. More importantly, she’s been getting those commissions, which have been helping her stay afloat while in school. “I think I gain an extra thousand followers every time you tag me in one of your photos with my clothes.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“It definitely is. I am, after all, a fashion student with an uncertain future.” She pockets her phone, grinning widely. “I’d love to design your birthday dress for you, Clara. Did you have something particular in mind?”

“Anything you make will be perfect.”

“You have to give me something to work with.”

“I believe in you, Marinette. You have free reign on colour, silhouette, whatever.” Clara claps her hands gleefully and then takes Marinette’s in hers. “I just want to be striking.”

“Alright,” Marinette agrees slowly, always eager to rise to a challenge. “I can do that.”

“And I want pockets.”

She laughs. “Oh, I can definitely do that.”

-

iii.

For the first time, Marinette says no to Clara’s request for a gown. It’s not about money. Clara always provides her with whatever materials she needs and they always settle on a fair price. And it’s not about time, because Clara is asking nearly a year in advance. It could be about the amount of work, which Clara thinks is fair, but Marinette said it’s not that either.

Maybe it’s the pressure. Marinette, now interning, now really focusing on building her network and reputation, is afraid. Sure, she’s always been out there. A quick search to her name yields outfits worn by Clara herself, Jagged Stone, Luka Couffeine, and that doesn’t even include links to information about her achievements in various contests.

Designing Clara Nightingale’s wedding gown would draw a lot of attention. Much more than anything else Marinette might have done in the past.

“I’d really love to,” Marinette tells her softly, “but I just...I can’t right now, Clara.”

“But why?” Clara insists. “I can hire someone to help you--”

“No, it’s just--I can’t.” Marinette shrugs. She sighs deeply and sips her tea to find something to do with her hands. 

Clara looks around Marinette’s one bedroom apartment and finds it strangely devoid of life and personality. She remembers Marinette’s childhood bedroom, pink and overflowing with little bits of what made Marinette the girl she is. There were photos of her friends, sketches tacked onto the wall, magazine cut outs, half-made mockups, and more. Here, Marinette seems to just come home and sleep. 

“Up until recently, my personal life has been....” Marinette rubs her neck. “There’s something I was really busy with. And now, well, now it’s over. And I have a lot of time on my hands,” she admits with a sad smile. “While that’s ideal for wedding gown making, I think...I think I really need it for me.”

There’s something about the droop in Marinette’s shoulders that makes Clara nod. She keeps tucking her hair back before brushing her bare ears. Clara wishes she could get Marinette to design her wedding gown, but she can’t force her to. Marinette just looks so sad. So worn down and uneasy. Like the idea of having time to herself is bittersweet.

To her knowledge, Marinette never had a pet, but she looks like she might have lost them. Or no, Clara decides, that’s not it. It’s more like she lost a dear friend.

Deciding to step up to that role, Clara smiles at her. “You’ll still come to the wedding though, right?”

“Huh?” Marinette blinks. “I’m invited?”

“What? Of course!” Clara reaches across the table and grabs Marinette’s hand. “You’re my favourite designer, Marinette, and you’re very dear to me. If I can’t get you dressing me, then I can at least make you eat dinner and drink some wine with me.”

“I’d...I’d like that.”

“And--” Clara curses herself for starting because now she can’t stop. “You can say no, but what if you design something for my rehearsal dinner then? That’ll be fairly low key, I promise--”

“Okay.”

Clara blinks because she didn’t actually expect to succeed here. “Okay?”

Marinette nods slowly. “Okay. I can use the work,” she says, sounding like she’s trying to convince herself that the dress wouldn’t be a distraction. “What were you thinking?”

Clara shakes her head as she stands. Marinette reacts, standing as well, so Clara pulls her into a hug. “Focus on yourself for now, Mari. We can deal with my dress another day.”

-

iv.

Meeting with Marinette no longer happens in bedrooms above the bakery or in sad, bare apartments. This time, Clara visits Marinette’s studio, marvelling at the pieces that are on display before meeting with her favourite designer herself. Marinette soon rushes out in a green smock that really just makes pregnant look all sorts of chic.

Clara greets her with kisses before shaking her hand like it’s a joke. Her gaze falls down to Marinette’s middle and she grins.

“What are you at now? Six months?”

Marinette sighs heavily. “And counting.” She rubs her abdomen. “To be fair, I don’t think it’s this little one that’s making me so tired.”

Clara nods, knowing that Marinette’s ever-growing name also comes with a lot of demand. Moreover, a need for constant exposure. And Marinette always seems to forget that she married into fashion royalty. Or maybe she’s well aware of that, Clara considers. Maybe she’s trying to prove herself beyond everyone’s presumptions by heavily overcompensating.

“Did you make that dress yourself?” Clara asks.

Marinette’s face twists into a scowl. “Maternity dresses always look so frumpy. And the non-maternity dresses that can work with my stomach always look strange on my chest.”

Clara practically shakes in giddiness. “Do I sense an MDC maternity collection in the near future?”

“More like one titled afterbirth that is largely sweat pants and with prints that resemble spit up.” But Marinette pauses, genuinely considering a possibility of maternity clothes. “Or perhaps...actual dresses that fit properly. And then after that, matching outfits for mothers and daughters?” 

It all comes out like a question, but Clara knows Marinette is completely zoning out, especially when she reaches for her sketchbook. Clara keeps her mouth shut, preferring to spend this time watching Marinette’s creative process. After all, she technically came here to commission MDC into creating something for herself and her daughter for the girl’s tenth birthday.

“And suits!” Marinette continues. “And then little baby suits--” She cuts herself off with something between a squeal and a cry. She sniffles and then rests her hands on her belly. “I just--that would be so cute.”

“It would be,” Clara agrees.

Marinette turns to her, as if remembering she’s there, and then promptly flushes. “Sorry,” she mumbles. She laughs sheepishly. She closes her sketchbook and moves it to the other end of the table. “You came here for a reason. So how can I help you, madame?

Clara pulls the sketchbook back and pushes it Marinette’s way. “Continue with that, won’t you?”

“I can do that later,” Marinette protests.

But Clara considers the image Marinette had been in the process of sketching, a woman and a little girl in matching sheath dresses adorned with roses. 

“Nonsense.” Clara leans back in her chair. “I want whatever you’re making.”

-

v.

When Clara is set to celebrate her induction to L’Ordre national de la Légion d'honneur for her contributions to the arts, she asks Marinette to design her dress for the ceremony because just who else is there?

The morning of the ceremony, they’re alone in Clara’s suite as Marinette ensures that everything fits Clara the way it should. The navy neckline settle just off her shoulders, looking tasteful but still elegant for this special event. The dress is much simpler than anything Marinette has ever made her before, but Clara positively adores the waterfall handkerchief that adorns the right side of the knee-length skirt. 

When she’s finished looking over every single stitch, Marinette stands straight, takes a step back, and assesses Clara in the dress.

“Satisfied?”

After a moment, Marinette nods, making Clara roll her eyes. “The dress is fine, Marinette.”

“It’s--”

“Polished, professional, perfect for this event.”

“I know.” Marinette shakes her head and that seems to remove her from her stupor because she’s smiling. “I don’t think I’ve said this yet, but congratulations, Clara. This is a great honour.”

“You’re coming tomorrow night, right?” Clara is throwing a party to celebrate her new status as Chevalier among her family and friends. It would be only fitting that Marinette, who designed tomorrow night’s dress as well, was in attendance.

Marinette shakes her head though. “Emma has a recital,” she explains. 

“And you have a Spring line to design.”

“And I have a Spring line to design.” Marinette laughs. “Although only after Emma’s recital.”

Clara nods, knowing just how much family matters to Marinette. She almost snorts when she recalls that all of Paris (and even the world) knows that, if her line of matching outfits for parents and children a few years ago was anything to go by.

Before Marinette finally leaves, Clara grabs her hand.

“What’s up?” Marinette asks. It’s not like this dress is particularly finicky, unlike her other designs. 

Clara just pulls her close. She knows she might be wrinkling Marinette’s hard work, but this hug feels more important. 

She’s grown so much since being the kind-hearted teenager that starred in her music video decades ago. They both have. Marinette is almost her height now, and she’s a woman with a career and husband and three kids at home. 

“I don’t know how many times I’ve said this, but you really are amazing, Marinette.”

“Isn’t today about your lifetime achievements?” Marinette teases.

Clara draws back and pats Marinette’s cheek. “I’ve won more than enough best dressed awards to prove that keeping you by my side is one of those achievements.” 

Marinette bites her lip. She pulls away and grabs her bag of supplies. She moves to leave, but Clara calls her name when she gets to the door. 

“I’m so lucky to have been able to watch your talents flourish.” Clara beams at Marinette Dupain-Cheng with pride. “I can’t wait to see what you do next.”

[domesticangel]

5 7 9 11 14 20 24 29 and 30!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

ok i know i already answered this one but i thought of another. fucking. raising arizona. me and my mom like quote and reference this movie to each other on the DAILY like 75% of the script of this movie has been permanently integrated into our vocabulary and we cannot change this

7. What do you enjoy daydreaming about most?

……🤦🏼‍♀️😔💘 gay stuff…………..

9. What’s a smell that reminds you of home?

wellllll if its my home in richmond, any super sugary baked good-esque candle smell bc i burn a lot of them here so it kinda just permanently smells like Delicious Candle in my apartment kjhgdfdfj and i guess for HOME home…idk this is kinda basic but like, the fabric softener my mom has used for like all of my life lmao. i couldn’t tell you the flavor or brand but off smell alone i could pick it out of a line up on the first try 😤

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

hmmmm..well the first thing coming to mind is when my mom, my brother and i hiked tinker cliffs not too awful long ago and we got to the top and just sat on the edge of this entire mountain and looked out for miles and miles and could enjoy it knowing the hard part was out of the way and it was all downhill from there lol it was beautiful and it had been a while since JUST me and mom and my brother did something together so it was really nice 😌

14. Talk about one of your most cherished childhood memories.

oh lord. well. lemme see if i can remember any jgdlgjhglkdghjgfl HMMMM…well when i was around 10 or so my dad used to own this property out in the mountains and he would take me and my brother there for just like general gallivanting but sometimes we’d also camp out or go on coon hunts and such and he’d always bring the hound dogs and turn them loose and it was always just really fun. we’d always go in the fall and all the leaves were so beautiful and it was just nice to bundle up and just get to go crashing around the woods for a couple hours. he drove the same chevy he still does today and once we pulled off the main road he’d always stop and let us jump out and ride in the truck bed down the dirt road to the property and that was always really fun lol. not really a specific memory i guess but i have a lot of good memories from that specific place and time!!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

oof. idk if i could narrow it down to just one specific instance, but if i had to take a stab at it id say any number of things my mom has done for me…..shes a great fuckin mom and great person all around and theres been so many times wheres she’s just like. gone out of her way to be there for me when i needed it and like inb4 “she’s ur mom she’s sposed to be nice to you!!!” LIKE I KNOW I KNOW but i mean like…idk she’s like never been very good at coming right out and voicing how she feels about things or people but she’s very good at making people feel noticed and safe and loved through her actions…..if that..makes sense, and if i had to list off all the great things she’s done for me, big or small, we’d be here all day so ill leave it at that lol

24. Are you more of a hopeless romantic or realist?

sigh. hopeless romantic by default but i can knock some sense into myself when need be 😔

29. Do you collect anything? And what are some hobbies you have?

i do actually!!! for some reason a couple years back i started collecting railroad spikes and i just never really stopped and now every time i go anywhere near a railroad i black out and wake up with like a literal armful of railroad spikes. i have been informed a couple of times that this is not necessarily Allowed but none of those times were by cops so ive not been deterred yet! i really need to figure out a use for them bc as it stands now they’re just scattered in my cars trunk and floorboard, my garage back home, etc, though my mom does sometimes get some decorative use out of them when she fixes up her yard or patio! as for hobbies…..well. art has been so deeply mushed into my identity especially now that I’m pursuing it as a career that I’m not sure i can call it just a hobby, but some particular facets of that i still feel like i can call hobbies would be stuff like making moodboards, doing woodburnings, collecting found objects as inspiration, stuff like that!!!

30. What do you do to feel at peace?

drink tea, watch older lighthearted anime (I’ve recently picked inuyasha back up and its adorable), sketch, go for a walk or run, and on the more oddly specific side of things, i LOVE watching major hair transformations on youtube LMAO

[bastiodonz]

Well, uh, I have to admit I somehow never even saw your OSAS stuff until you mentioned it and I looked through the tag?? And I can’t really get what it’s about from just the art but it looks rad and I’m always down for original works (I feel you on drawing shit for your own stuff instead of actually progressing the story) so have at it! Tell me about OSAS, anything from what the world’s like to what the characters like to eat!

akgajdagh honestly thats valid!! osas tends to fly under a lot of peoples radars 😔✊

and also algjakdg thank y ou!!! ive been trying to work on osas for a long while so im rly touched that u think its cool and also that im still Relatable™ ;;w;; i can,, talk a lot,,,, abt osas,,,,,,,, im answering the two questions u gave (what the worlds like and what characters like to eat) and just gonna sneak it under a cut

yeehaw!! 

ok so the world?? ive mentioned it several times but the worlds called uxordra!!! if u go back and find stuff u MAY find that like. i have called it uxodra or uxorda and honestly?? im not sure which one was right so i mashed the two together called it uxordra and called it a day

its ruled by kingdoms bc its. kinda like every other fantasy world like that. note that i started working on osas when i was like. in 6th grade so u have to rly bare with me here bc all the ocs have those 6th grade oc Tragic Backstories or are ocs from a fandom that ive reworked to put them in here. and also if u look closely u would be able to pick out the inspo for some parts of osas.

ALGJAD but yeah its separated into kingdoms!! surprisingly, there isnt a lot of conflict between the kingdoms in the story. surprisingly bc like. thats the plot for several fantasy stories huh. but thats mainly bc 6th grade me didnt even think abt making a fuckin map of uxordra. like ok i get it. but why. 6th grade me i couldve evolved the story so much if only i had a map but instead i didnt and now the story that i came up w rly only mentions only a few different kingdoms and im too invested w it so im too lazy to change it and figure out how to change it. and also they have like. no names

and for that im serious i mean. the kingdom that osas is mainly set in? thats like. the only one named so far. its called valkarie and yes its like valkyrie but just iwth an a instead of a y. see its bc one day 7th grade me realized that i needed a name and came up with one on the spot. but ive been thinking of it and refering to it as valkarie so much that now thats what its called. its a big oof. its arguably one of the biggest kingdoms next to this other one that i dont have a name for??

five out of the main group was born in valkarie!! while iovita ( hes the one w curly hair thats mainly sketched in green) was born in that other big kingdom!! that other kingdom (which is REALLY need a name for considering its the origin place of one of the MAIN CHARACTERS) is like. ok so valkarie is rly just. powerful as a kingdom. but that other kingdom?? theyre just funky! theyre a big trading hub and outsource of crops and everyone thinks theyre cool.

valkarie is. kinda mess. as ive mentioned before yeah no one rly likes them but?? theyre powerful?? they have a big military and iovita comes over here and immediately hisses thru his teeth bc man this is. hm. this seems Excessive. but in their semi defense there was already a good amount of guards and knights and shit but then this whole entire thing happened in ruresi and now all them from there moved to the capitol and its just agakdagjajd Too Many Guards! but yeah like. they also are kinda hggjghjdjg-ing bc there was this whole entire thing called the idarist war which will eventually be elaborated in osas once i actually WORK ON IT!!!!!!!!!! and like it rly just depleted a lot of resources and threw people out of wack

oh my god and i like. just realized i forgot to put this here. but like. theres also gods!!! whenever theres a character in the osas tag that doesnt look human?? tahts a god!!! they just kinda exist and give people things and sometimes start droughts like a fuckin idiot!!!!!!!!! aglajdajg ill probably explain them more in osas. again if i actually WORK ON IT!!!!!!

but yeah. the kingdoms are rather peaceful when it comes to each other. the real conflict most of the time is within the kingdoms themselves?? and at the start of osas its not even that full of conflict. the real peak of hardship was like 80 years ago during the idarist war but most (i say most bc. ruresi.) of valkarie has recovered or at least. recovered as much as they could.

and uhhh what the characters like to eat??

bodil (the ginger one with the teal-ish coat!!) likes salty things!! admittedly its bc her diet kinda. Sucks??? she lives off of preserved things and things merope serves (which is all bar food so. lots of salt.) she also likes milk. she is a simple lesbian she sees milk she drinks

merope (the one w an eyepatch and vitiligo and also sharp chompers………..) really likes stew!!! his aunt used to make it a lot when he was younger and its been his favorite food since!! he makes so many salty things that at this point hes kinda exhausted

aludra (the one with those red marks and blank eyes?? shes mostly drawn in red) cant eat anymore. shes a ghost. BUT anyways she also likes stew. but she also loves dry food that is rly easy to snack on (like crackers or smn!!) bc she kinda used to like just sit in her room and Brood.

iovita (yeah ive mentioned him already. hes the one in green) likes pies!! he likes fruits and as such was like “holy shit you can bake SO MANY fruits into pies. he really likes everything really?? bc yeah his kingdom is known for their abundance of farmland which means lots of fruits and meat and vegetables and its just. wild. but he really doesnt like sour things. conan eats a lemon in front of him and iovita realizes that Their Gods Will Not Save Them.

alfjadka yeah conan (has the light hair w dark roots, that emo bang, and drawn in grey) likes sour things. or so he says. he really likes sweets actually. especially caramel. his mom used to sneak him candies and its a mixture of just that positive association and also just. sweets good. that just makes him really love candy.

sorin (has the bandage over eye and the burn scars. also a ginger. mostly drawn in a yellow-gold) does really?? have??? a favorite food???or a favorite thing to eat???? he takes what he gets and at the least he knows that bread at the least is semi-reliable. ruresi while it was still up wasnt especially known for their food and it really shows?? well at least, sorin says that but conan has noticed that sorin sometimes stares at cakes for a long time………..

(conan buys every cake he sees sorin staring at then always eat a bit before going “oh wow!! i cant finish this sorin u can have it”. sorin is always a bit skeptical abt actually getting it and every other bite asks if conan is Really Sure He Can Have All This. but he eat its every time.)

[b4loma]

What are your drawing tips? You posted a few drawings really fast. That was cool. I draw as well but trying to draw again. ｡^‿^｡

hey there again!! thanks a lot for your support!! 

ive liked to draw since i was little but i started to take it more seriously just a few years ago, so it was like relearning the process from scratch and im still learning stuff about it, one never really stops from learning stuff through the years though! and since im somewhat of a novice in various fields of illustration yet (im stuck with colour theory and i still suck at perspective) i think the best advice i could give you is to never stop drawing, anything you have in your head, draw it! and  it doesnt even really have to be a super polished drawing, the thing is drawing something everyday so youll eventually got accustomed to it, like an habit; i think the key is to get better at something, its practicing a lot!

also, i like to study other artists’ styles and techniques, while originally i just wanted to draw good fanart, in the end it really helped me growing my mental library references and in the long run, it helps you to develop your own style. im a firm believer that fundamentals comes first and then the stylization, its important to know the rules and how everything works so you can later break it ‘em to your liking and it would look good!

concerning those fast drawings, those are just sketches haha! y’know the kind of thing you do when youre visualizing something on your head, after that fast scribbling phase? its up to you to refine it more or just leave it as it (im the kind of person who do a lot of sketches but rarely finishes anything)

i wrote a lot, but i hope it helps you in some way!

[sssoto]

Creator’s update #1

Hey guys! So I’ve decided to start actually blogging on this blog and tell a bit about the various things I’m working on, share WIPs, music I’ve been digging recently etc. I realise that I rarely post anything, so it seems like I’m super inactive - which is totally not true, I just have so much stuff going on and take a long time to finish things, and I’m also pretty picky about what I put up online lol! For the sake of keeping those of you interested in the loop, I’m gonna start this series of creator’s updates in which I’ll update y’all on the progress I’ve made on my various creative projects. The goal is to give an update a few times a month (hopefully lol)!

This past while I’ve been super inactive in the writing department, but very much productive in the art department, so my writing update will be mostly a summary of what I’ve been doing the past few years up until this point.

Mood: Feelin’ real good cuz my parents finally brought my comfy double bed over from my mum’s place this past weekend, which means no more sleeping on the couch yaaaaaas.

Music I’ve been digging recently:

Skye Sweetnam - Boyhunter So, the other day I randomly listened to this song on my way home from work, and I totally realised that Skye Sweetnam is the perfect voice for my character Caitlyn, and this song totally embodies what Caitlyn is all about lmaoooo. (The song isn’t very accurate to the time period Caitlyn lives in, but it’s super accurate to her character essence and personality, and I just find that so lit hahahah) 

Fallulah - Out of It This song is basically my MC’s theme song?? It’s performed by a Danish artist and was super popular in Denmark a few years back as it was the theme tune to a Danish tv show (a show I loved!). The lyrics are just so Daniel, it’s not even funny. It mostly fits his mental state at the beginning of Renaissance.

Girl’s Day - Love Again Ugh I just love the tune of this song so much, I can’t really place my finger on it, the emotion is just so great. I love the guitar riff especially, and Girl’s Day is a four member girl group, so it’s one of those songs where I can imagine my main girls Annaliese, Caitlyn, Mary and Serena singing as each member lmao.

Nine Muses - Remember Another four member group now, this song is also one where I can imagine my main girls singing each member’s part lmao, and having that aspect to a song always makes it a little better for me! Forreal tho, this new release from Nine Muses slays, and we all know it. The music video haunts me.

Sistar - Lonely This song makes me sad and happy all at once, cuz I’m not ready to say goodbye to Sistar, but at the same time this ending is probably the best one any fan could’ve wished for because there was no drama or anger, just well wishes and hope for the future. I know these girls will go far, and this song just pulls at all my heart strings man. The melody of the bridge and chorus, Dasom and Soyu’s parts in particular, really works for me. And yeah, Sistar has four members too, and once again I can picture my main girls singing as each member lmao. It’s a thing I have, okay?

Moana OST - We Know The Way + Know Who You Are I recently watched this movie, and while I sorta felt like the plot was a bit rushed and tropey in many ways, I totally adored the visuals and the MUSIC OMG. These two songs are my favourite, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s vocals never miss, and Auli’i Cravalho’s high note is gorgeous! Also dat choir in the background tho, and in context with the movie scene that song just makes me irrationally emotional mkay. (That ending was the best twist ever, it definitely lifted the story up a notch for me!)

Writing

So I’m writing a book! You might have seen me mention it a few times already on here, but I’ve not really shared much insight into my process or what sort of book this actually is (other than talking about characters here and there), and as I’ve not been making huge progress lately (I’m in an art state of mind duuuh), I thought that I’d keep this section short and sweet, with a bit of an introduction into what my book project is all about.

I call it a book project because I don’t feel comfortable just calling it a book when I don’t have rights to publish. Technically my book is a fanfiction based on the horror video game Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and as such I don’t own copyright of the small percentage of my story that features the canon elements. However, I take this as seriously as anyone else would writing their own book, because I’ve poured my entire heart and soul into it, and the vast majority of the content (plot, characters and world) is my original creation. It’s my own little big project lol!

You might be familiar with the game, and even if you aren’t, that’s not a prerequisite for reading my book since everything is introduced and set up just as in any regular book. The protagonist is an Englishman named Daniel, and we know little of his past through the game. I won’t go into too much detail on what the game is about (if you really wanna know, you can look it up), but the point of my book is to explore the protagonist’s life from his childhood up to the events of the game and beyond, and afterwards connect his story to the game sequels featuring other protagonists within the same universe. It’s a bit complex and elaborate, which is just the way I like it!

As the games are set at various points during the Victorian era (game #1 is set in Prussia 1839, game #2 is set in France 1858, and game #3 is set in England 1899), you can probably guess that the entire thing will be pretty long. That’s why I’m making it a series! I have at least seven books planned so far (though there’ll definitely be more, since I’m not near the end of the timeline I need to cover yet), and I currently have the first book written and am writing the sequel - however, the first book will need a complete rewrite once I’m finished with book #2, because I’ve since developed and changed a lot of stuff, and I have many new interesting ideas for a more fleshed out version of the first book. Still, the fanfic version is available online, so if you’d like to read it, you can find it here. You’ll get a pretty good idea of the general story and the characters, but keep in mind that it’s super outdated and will be very different after my rewrite!

For reference, this is the list of books that I’ve planned (and titled) so far, so you can keep up with what book of my series I’m talking about at any given point:

I - Amnesia: Memoirs

II - Amnesia: Renaissance

III - Amnesia: Voyage

IV - Amnesia: Noir

V - Amnesia: Encore

VI - Amnesia: Rogue

So what I’m doing right now with this project is revisions. Uuuuggghhhhh. Yes, that’s right, I’m stuck in revision hell. I’ve not even finished the first draft of Renaissance yet (I know, sacrilege, writing blasphemy, don’t start your damn edits until you’ve finished your draft dumbass), but I had some pretty major changes to make, changes so big that it would be a waste of time and effort to go on drafting without implementing them first. Mainly the changes are surrounding 1) a change of ages of my main cast (I aged many characters up a few years), and 2) changing and figuring out the specifics of the illness which my MC’s sister, Hazel, is afflicted with. She’s not such a major character in Renaissance, but she plays a big role in Memoirs, and since I had all these new ideas for the rewrite of that, I wanted to implement the ripple effects in the second book so it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to edit later when Renaissance is a finished 3-400k first draft lmao (I have a lot of words okay?). These changes mostly affect the early chapters of my book - chapters I wrote about three years ago, which means that these early chapters really need a face-lift. In addition to the age and illness change, I wanna revise the first five chapters by cutting the fluff and tightening up the beginning so we get to the action a tiny bit faster. Adding to the fact that these early chapters are three years old, the prose also needs an almost complete rewrite. So long story short, all of the edits are taking a long ass time, and I’m not having a good time lmao. Doesn’t help that I had to stop drafting right at one of the juiciest scenes in my book?!?!? (that’s a lie, it gets juicier, but I was just getting to the real good stuff yanno?)

(Side note: for someone who said that I’d keep this short, it sure turned out long lmao. I just have too many damn words.)

Chapters edited: 2/16 (working on 3 right now and it’s an effin’ pain)

Current total word count: 120,591

Current total chapter count: 17 (the number will go down to 16 once I finish the revisions, as I’m merging two chapters)

Look at all the dumb shit I still have to edit for chapter 3. Look at it.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Art

Man, I’ve been doing a lot of artwork recently, and by a lot, I don’t mean that I’ve finished any.

I think I’ve been focused on developing my actual drawing skills rather than making finished illustrations, because I’ve been so overwhelmed with inspiration and I’ve wanted to try out drawing a bunch of different motives, so my mind is on a lot of different art projects at once, and I’m making baby steps of progress on each of them because I just wanna do everything lmao. I should probably take a step back and settle on one thing at a time, but at the same time, I feel like this is working for me because I’m so inspired and motivated and super excited for every single art piece; I don’t feel myself losing interest in any of them, in fact I just feel like my switching between different artworks keeps every piece fresh and interesting for me, yanno?

So here’s one thing that I’ve been slowly chipping away at for the past few months. I’m drawing a full body group picture of my main cast from Renaissance!

I’ve drawn the anatomy sketches of all the male characters (though I’m debating whether I should add some others), and now I’m adding the female characters one by one, so these are not all of the characters yet. But man, I just love seeing the characters side by side? The variety in their body language, body types and heights is just so interesting to look at, and it’ll be even better once I get around to actually adding their facial features, expressions, hair, attire, and then colouring them as well omg! I’m a sucker for this kind of thing, blame it on @juliajm15 and her amazing diverse character designs.

It’s gonna be a huge picture with a lot of characters, and I’m stoked for it!! This is a piece which I hope I’ll be able to show ya’ll the progress of bit by bit in every few updates. (also, if you feel somewhat familiar with some of my characters, you’re welcome to make guesses at who’s who (; )

Another project I’m working on is making official character portraits of my main cast (and possibly minor characters as well). I just think it’s nice to have official portraits as reference for anyone who’d like to see what the characters look like, and also for myself for whenever I need to refresh the specific features and expression of each character. It’s just a nice thing that satiates my very Type A personality lmao!

So the characters above are Owen Wright (to the left) , Daniel’s puppy bff with the fluffy hair, and then from left to right I’m colouring the portraits of the Armstrong siblings: Caleb, Caitlyn and Tristan. Their dad is a duke! n.n Caleb is the oldest, Caitlyn the youngest, and Tristan is the bland middle child. He’s a little brat LOL but I still love him.

Also, due to this glorious reference I found, I finally figured out how to draw Daniel. Bless this model, I never knew I wanted Daniel to have big puffy lips, but apparently I do.

He looks actually nice now? Which is nice? I’m amazed. Also his hair? I can never draw his hair, but this looks nice so yay? Also, I dunno why I never draw clothes on him, I guess I’m just lazy lol, but he’s gonna need to wear clothes for the official character portrait soooo... That’s a thing I’m gonna have to do.

Now that I’ve figured out his features, it’s gonna be fun to remodel all his family members accordingly. I sense that he’ll have gotten those cute puffy lips from his mum meheheheh.

I also did some Disney fanart of my two favourite Disney ladies; Esmeralda and Kida <3

I actually never really draw fanart any more, it’s been yeeeaaaars since I did, and when I used to do it, I was always very particular about staying as true to the original art style as possible. But now that I’ve spent the past couple years focusing on developing my own art style, I actually decided not to care about that so much and just draw the characters the way I’m used to drawing my own, and lo and behold - it looks pretty accurate to the Disney style?? I assumed that the characters would end up looking very different, but other than the eyes being smaller I feel like they look the exact same lmao. It’s interesting to me, because even when I used to do fanart, I usually did so of Japanese art and manga, not of Disney or any other western art. Also, I don’t consider my own style very Disney, but it pleases me a lot that the characters look so much like themselves even in my art style! The most important thing to me is to capture the essence of the character anyway, so any fan can recognise the character they love so much n.n

So that’s about it for this round! I’ve been working on other things as well, but I’d rather not disclose them to the public just yet - perhaps later, when I’ve made more progress, or (gasp!) actually finished something!! Bahahah, with the many things I’m working on, hell will freeze over before that day comes. *cries*

Youtube

I’m adding this Youtube section because, in addition to writing and doing artwork, I also like to record vocal covers (mainly of kpop songs, but I’ll do anything I’m in the mood for at any given point), aaaaand as of today I'm gonna be uploading speedpaints as well! Which is probably good since I don’t upload my covers nearly as often as I finish them lmao.

I’ve not uploaded any new covers recently (though I really should, I do have some covers lying around on my laptop mwerp), but I’m gonna list a couple of my favourite covers I have on my channel here so you can take a listen if you’d like!

And today I uploaded my very first speedpaint to my channel, so check that out if you’re interested in that sort of stuff! It’s the process of my Christmas portrait piece for Serena. I aim to be more consistent with uploads since I have a few unedited recordings lying around, so keep an eye out for that!

If you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking around and taking a look at my work, even if it’s only in WIP form. I wanted to start doing these updates because I’ve been watching my friends do them for a long time, and I always love reading their writing updates; they motivate me so much to get working on my own stuff, and I just wanna be able to perhaps do something similar for anyone else who’s watching me out there. So thank you sincerely to @coffeeandcalligraphy, @sarahkelsiwrites and @shaelinwrites for sharing your process with the world and being such an inspiration to me and many others, I love seeing you all make progress on your own projects <3

So that was all for this round, I hope you guys enjoyed a little sneak peek into what I’ve been working on! Until next time, folks!

[gray-anxiety]

No Sympathy Facts/ the chaos of my brain

I kept forgetting the damn name

Legit

Like “No… no wHAT????? Oh”

Aella is a name associated with storms and wind, so I gave her that name because I wanted someone who really did embody that

I kept wanting to spell Aella’s name allen smh

This book started when i finally got off my ass and convinced myself to do a mafia au. The entire plot was pulled out of my ass in a period of brainstorming that kept me up until 5:30 the next morning

I actually sketched out the apartment’s layout so I could see it better.

later I actually designed a messy version of what it’d somewhat be like in the sims

Karanese is actually a district in the Attack on Titan universe :)

Each chapter takes me like 2 hours to write simply because I play out each and every ending in my head and choose the best one I’d want to see in a story

Other times I legit just have a feeling like I absolutely know how a chapter plays out like Chapter 3’s murder fight scene. It just came to me and all I had to do was describe it like I had just watched a movie

Chapter one took a total of seven hours to write

The plot twists were created when I asked myself what cliche can I change?

(Except I kept a few just to make fun of it I.E. roommates and badboy x nerdy character because that shit is hilarious and can really show the dynamic of how different each character really is)

Chapter two bore me to death to be honest

An actual example of my brainstorming while writing down facts:

I have no idea what the fuck to do after chapter 3 help

I pretty much said fuck it to planning out a plot and just wung it

Where am I gonna place Hange and the others

What about Eren lol

OH SHIT I JUST HAD THE IDEA THAT HANGE AND AELLA WERE FRIENDS BEFORE AELLA WAS KICKED OUT AOUFHALIUEHFALIUEHF

THEY’D TOTALLY BE LESBIANS FOR EACH OTHER

How’d you come up with the name for No Sympathy?

hilarious answer, actually. I spent two damn hours laying on my bed googling “what’s your mafia nickname” to just messing around with broken languages on google translate until it just popped in my head. Pretty much I was like “oh shit that sounds lit and fearsome lets do it bois” and yeah

I’m actually making this list of fun facts while writing each chapter. I’m going to start working on chapter 4 tomorrow and hopefully get my shit together to make a somewhat good plot??

Lmao I lied I got really fucking lazy and wrote the chapter at 11 at night and published it at midnight

I wrote everything about no sympathy in one iCloud note and titled it “No sympathy; the complete chaos of making a book”

The true main character of No Sympathy is actually Levi since I feel like I understand him completely since I relate to him so much; making Levi the easiest character I’ve written about ever. Though, his true character (in my opinion) doesn’t necessarily shine through in the beginning chapters as Levi don’t get along with new people, but you can see him warm up to Aella by doing her homework, dragging her out of the party, etc.

I’ve realized I have a distinct writing pattern while writing No Sympathy: comma, semi-colon, double dash. (Chapters two and three really showcase it as I wrote those two back to back in the car)

Had I actually had the inspiration and the motivation to write this almost a year ago, I would’ve been writing about the mafia at 13, which is an absolute hilarious thought to think about when I look back to my previous fanfics. Then again, my dumbass 14-year-old self is just as clingy as my dumbass 13-year-old self lmaoo

I gave Aella the same birth day (not year lmao) as mine (September 10) so she’d be 17 during the first month of school and 18 for the rest of the book

Going off of that fact, Levi is exactly 1 year and 8 months older than Aella (I kept his original birthday)

My cat demanded that I gave him cuddles and attention so I had to stop writing for one entire day because he wanted cuddles

Normally my cat just lays on my chest while I write b u t n o he wanted cuddles

If Levi never came into the picture Aella would probably date Hanji (for all of those fellow LGBTQIA+ readers and readers that really love Hanji)

While writing chapter 1 I listened to Ghost by Halsey on repeat and I think if you read while playing the exact song it somewhat shows in the pace I set for readers.

The term ‘block class’ is actually derived from what my own high school (even though I’m not even fully considered a freshman yet jfc) uses when referring to a 90 minute class

The book Technically begins on a Saturday with Levi — the actual power duo meet that Monday (because unlike dumbass schools in real life, their first day of school was on a Monday instead of the Friday before.) on their first day. That Tuesday was chapter 4, Wednesday being chapter 5, Thursday being chapter 6 (we skip Friday because it doesn’t fucking matter in the story lmao), and Saturday being the day of the party.

Writing an x reader but without the reader was really fucking hard, honestly. I couldn’t just randomly say ‘Levi looked over at the H/C girl working on her homework across from him’ as it’d just be weird, so I thought of the next best thing and never described Aella — making her free for interpretation of her looks.

I was going to have Aella have a name reveal like ‘my real name is Y/N…’ but then I was like “No what? Fuck it. Levi already knew from the beginning after looking at her documents.”

No Sympathy was actually going to be an original story, but Levi’s character fit so well I decided to make it a fanfic.

I actually wanted to stop writing after chapter 3 because I didn’t know what to do with the plot, but I asked my friend for help coming up with the plot using the paragraphs of ideas I had to make an actual plot. So, I can successfully say I owe it to her for helping and the one sentence that kept me going in my head: “I want to make a story I’m proud of.” So I fucked up my (nonexistent, really lmao) sleeping and eating schedules and started working on this book everyday even when I didn’t post a chapter that day.

Though, it’s not really specified in the early chapters, Aella was bullied into being hated by the entire school — leaving her to be all alone, which actually happened to me and gave me PTSD after transferring.

Ironically, I gave Aella a ton of reactions and characteristics I would/ just generally have, but I see myself more in Levi, which is probably why I prefer writing about him over Aella.

As of writing this, chapter 5 is currently my favorite chapter as it is a mix of a filler chapter and a regular important chapter still just as important as the rest.

Depression and PTSD actually got in the way of writing so many times I actually am surprised I’ve written so much

As writing has always been my go to for letting out everything (as I have z e r o close friends lmao) I actually don’t realize when I’m done with each chapter until I realize I’m out of ideas for said chapter.

I don’t even realize I write about 2,000 words until it’s like “oh,,”

No Sympathy wasn’t just any fanfic for me, it was like I was actually Aella seeing the entire story unfold from beginning to finish

I tried to push myself to describe more, as I’ve noted while rereading my previous shitty fanfics — I struggled describing everything.

I tried to not have the basic “tch”, “brat”, and just random cursing from Levi unless it was at the exact wrong time (or I just put it in because I could totally see him saying that in said situation)

I tried characterizing Hanji as someone who wasn’t the basic overexcited dumbass most fanfics portray her as — instead I tried thinking of her as an actual person with reactions and different moods  and tried to embody that each time I wrote her

Character development is a huge thing Ive been trying to work on ever since I wrote A Valkyrie and a Mischievous God (though that character development and story sucked ass and I cringe at how popular it’s gotten), and a huge target for it was none other than Aella. At the beginning you could see she felt trapped in an endless cycle of stress and fending for herself, but when Levi came in and was like “lmao I have money you don’t have to stress” she felt like she was in an odd spot, and eventually after she reunited with Hanji she started to feel more free

Parents were completely cut out of this story because I genuinely don’t know how to write them as mine are either states away by choice or always working, so I just had Aella get kicked out and had her entire family gone.

My best ideas surface at 4 am when I’m trying to fucking sleep

Help me

But hey I now have a new passion for this book

I generally didn’t know how to end it

buT THEN I D I D

A huge thing for me, and my entire driving motion for writing this was a simple sentence: “I want to write something I’m proud of.”

Am I proud of this?

Eh. It’s not shitty, I suppose. I could always do better.

Characterization was so difficult for me. I wanted to stray from basic fanfics of an overly hyper Hange (though, I couldn’t help in some situations, but after watching an entire season and a half in one day, you notice personality changes) and write and more serious one — except I’m a damn shitty author with so many grammatical mistakes my ex-mentor would literally rip her hair out.

Writing a book has always been my goal, and I know this is the only thing that will ever come close to it.

I have another Levi x reader planned, but I always hate doing the basic ‘_____’ ‘Y/N’, etc because it literally drives my depressed self I n s a n e when writing

Most times for my outline summaries of the chapters I just put my name in place of Aella lmao

I actually struggled a lot when writing this; sometimes I even broke down thinking no one liked this book or I wasn’t a good enough author to write anymore.

My asshole self mainly spent my summer writing this rip

Currently, as it is July 2nd, I am literally hoping to Levi that I fucking get this done before August or else I’m so fucking screwed with beginning high school and shit.

Oh yeah btw, I’M NOT FUCKING READY FOR THE FINAL SEASON. I’LL BE A DAMN SOPHOMORE AND THAT IN ITSELF K I L L S ME

I don’t know if I’m actually going to continue with this book, but have these collected facts I started writing the moment the first chapter was out :,) It’s already September and my past dumbass was right

High school is kicking my ass

I have another story idea/plot written out and I really like it so idk. I think I’d stop halfway again because I’d think that no one would like it