#ive said this so many times but it truly truly makes so much sense why i didnt get into this band until 2022

[angstics]

my chem was insufferable in its first iteration. how did anyone survive that.

[phagodyke]

actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then

[riverfelloff]

ive seen so many people wondering how starkid makes such good straight couples (lautski, paulkins, etc), but i think we really need to talk about this.

in a lot of todays modern media, shows centered around straight couples are heavily focused on the sexuality of it. while they may take a few episodes to flesh out a small pining story, starkid takes that to a whole new level.

let's look at lautski for example; our first introduction (I KNOW HE WAS IN TGWDLM AND BF I DONT CARE HE WASN'T TRULY INTRODUCED UNTIL NMT) to pete and steph was nmt2's episode, 'abstinence camp'. sure, we know that sexuality played a big part in this episode, but if you pay close attention, you know that nothing ever actually happens between steph and pete, they get caught by lumberaxe and then boy jerry before they can do anything.

before then, though, we get a back story of them meeting, it's shown how steph likes him for his little quirks and oddities, and how pete is happy that someone took the time to get to know that about him. before they join showers, they talk for what feels like forever, going back and forth.

however, in nerdy prudes must die AND the guy who didn't like musicals BOTH, neither of the couples even kiss, they get close but they don't. even npmd which centers around two high school seniors over the course of a few months, not even a peck on the cheek. HOWEVER, in scenes like the summoning, we can see steph and pete both trying to hide the other behind themselves.

in tgwdlm, paul sends himself into the theater to go take down the meteor so emma has some hopes of a life.

while it's implied that they love the other in a romantic sense, it's never outright said, because you don't make romantic bonds in the situations they were in!! they made the romantic connections before the actual plot of the musical gets started!! they're so close and care so much because of the shit they went through together!!

the reason why we're so captivated by straight couples from starkid is that they don't have to be couples to show how close they are and how much they care, because at the end of the day the lang brothers know that a bond is deepest when it's pure. if you care for someone enough, you'd do anything to keep them happy, even if it isn't with you.

[weirdmageddon]

why i think aradia and john work so well

(with some stuff i’ve been wanting to yap about for ages)

have you guys ever given arajohn / johnradia (idk if its popular enough to even have a standardized ship name) any thought …? i know it seems kind of out of left field. i’ve considered it and i think its. really really good. i have a bunch of thoughts to unpack. come join me. and maybe grab a snack or something because i didn’t realize how much i'd actually have to say about this

(fantastic art by skeletood)

the other day i made a tweet that did rather well where i said, “john and aradia shouldve talked more. its so simple but i like how she actually earnestly answers his questions. so many characters in this comic are so mean to john for just wanting to know more give him a break”

putting it out there now im not big about shipping for the sake of shipping. there needs to be real chemistry. i need to sense that as a reason why two characters would potentially be a good influence on each other. i never knew why i was always so obstinate about this because it’s fictional and not materially hurting anyone, but i think it might be because i’m not sure how to justify it or explain it if not.

i strongly believe john and aradia would have had it made out for them if circumstances allowed it. (what i mean by “ship” or “johnradia” extends to any kind of interpersonal dynamic, even if just a good friendship. it doesnt even have to be romantic, just some sort of dynamic with them.)

unfortunately aradia originally committed herself to staying out of trolling the kids over their timelines, so john and aradia never talked until year 3 on the ship in the dream bubbles but they never had a truly proper one-on-one without outside meddling. i think if john knew aradia better and her story beforehand, she had more time to explain herself and her history, he wouldnt have been unsettled. and also of course if his experience with the trolls didn’t suck so bad because he already had expectations for how antagonizing most of them were.

i found people’s sentiments about johnradia elsewhere too. i remembered that they were both on the song art for ascend, and searched ao3 to see how many fics have been written to gauge how substaintial it’s been in the homestuck fandom. only 17 of them turned up. but the people who do talk about it are either curious about it or really do like it, and that interested me.

clearly it’s pretty niche character relationship to be depicted in any fanwork and i can understand why. despite being so small, from what ive seen it seems universally agreed upon to be nice. i haven’t seen a single person object to it. what ive seen falls into two categories: “wow i didnt think about this before but i actually dig it” or “(starving) finally some good fucking food”

the pattern im seeing is that people think it’s “random”, but i disagree. there is something there substantiating it even if they’re unable to articulate it.

the fanfic these comments are from is chronology of wind. that fic is really, really good, and sadly unfinished. i have more abstract reasons to believe why aradia and john would be good in theory, so actually seeing someone else actually make something with them helped me read it in action, to get a more tangible feel of the dynamic beyond what we have in canon.

i wouldn’t normally make claims about a relationship with regard to homestuck canon by looking at their relationship in a fanfic, because i think you all know by now i am very nitpicky about accurate characterization, and it does not go unnoticed by me when people get it right because for some reason it feels like a one in a million thing (even though it really shouldn’t be?). so this was a special case. the tone was completely consistent with canon. this fic is so in-character i’d basically consider it an extension of canon. to me it’s like they took the same characters and plopped them into this scenario to see how they’d interact. guys… i love that stuff so much. i love fanfiction or fanworks that depict realistic extensions of canon and stays true to the energy and tone of the source, but deepens it. there isn’t enough of it imo. i want to see more of it.

anyway, what i read of their conversations in that fic basically aligned with what i was thinking in my head about what i’d expect it to be like. i was able to compare how aradia and john talked to how aradia and the other characters interacted, their comparative attitudes towards each other—how they’re treated by others compared to how they treat each other.

have you noticed john and aradia’s communication values are both based on sincerity, being in the proper know, treating people fairly, and thanklessly taking on the necessary work that “must be done” in order to have what they really want — a good time that feels meaningful? and they accomplish this without any adjustment in how they talk to each other.

john is always subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking the people around him to answer him soberly and to the point so he knows whats going on and what that means for what his options are. he needs to know to what end he will be applying his absurd energetic drive into making shit happen. aradia honors his time before john can even become uncomfortable with the amount of time being eaten up by conversation. contrast this with rose, who seems to go on for a while with prose-like conversational adornments. in dire situations that need rapid explanation and definitive answers so he knows what to do, this is really the last thing he needs. aradia doesnt waste john’s time. she answers all his questions, and does it politely to boot. his time talking to her doesn't feel wasted.

john's impatience with this sort of nonsense is also why i can’t see something like dirkjohn working out, for example. to me it feels like @entropicbias also deeply understands this on some level because i literally couldn’t have demonstrated what i mean by it any better myself than that. i'm gonna have to to hit him up about how much i genuinely respect that like tbh hes one of the few i absolutely trust to handle writing and depicting these characters in situations and their interpersonal dynamics. and also care about doing their characterization justice as much as me.

of course people are still entitled to like whatever they like, ship whatever they want to. i dont care. but i just don’t think it would work from the perspective of the minds of the canon characters, how they generally think and approach situations. and i can already tell people might ask me how do i know this? what makes me an expert? i’m not more than anyone else is (although i have been called a "characterization expert" from my friends), but i do know that i can pick up on the energetic chemistry between people, including characters, honestly precognitively, without even thinking? like if it’s stiff or tense or awkward, if people aren’t free to express themselves uninhibitedly, if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. i can sense this almost instantly. it’s something that’s a visceral feeling in my body i cant express and i have to rationalize it after the fact. like i’m doing now in fact writing this big analysis.

> listen to me talk about my special interest boy

for the next section to make sense, you probably want to read this post. i initially started writing it within this post to explain but there was so much brewing i had to explain the context that it turned into something i wanted to post on its own terms.

> okaaaaaayyyyy i read all that

thank you, really. my main point is using the conceptual tools provided by this system to expIain why aradia and john feel nice together and why i’ve seen people positively perceive the idea of a relationship between them even if it seems “random”.

framing them in this system, it wouldn’t be random! there’s a good reason they seem to fit nicely. this is because john and aradia have complementary forms of information metabolism. information metabolism is talked about in this section.

Jung’s psychic types are the types of cognition, or intelligence. But it would probably be easiest to call them types of IM [information metabolism], since the main difference between the types of people lies in their exchange of information with the external world.

Aushra Augusta, Commentary on Jung’s Typology and Introduction to Information Metabolism

aradia megido’s type of information metabolism (otherwise known as a TIM) is LII. john egbert’s TIM is ESE.

aradia and john’s types are duals. you can read more about what that entails here. in theory, their interactions would reflect the duality dynamic. reading chronology of wind, that one really in-character fic that explored their dynamic made me excited because they do!

michael pierce gave an overview of his impression of the characteristics of this intertype dynamic. despite only rough knowledge in socionics while he wrote this, his understanding of duality was spot on to me from my experience and others and i wanted to share it here. (fittingly, i believe he is also LII.)

Now we have the famous duality relationship: in a nutshell, this role is characterized by two traits: 1) a very close psychological distance or intimacy, and 2) a great ease of interacting with each other. It is sometimes described how meeting one's dual can be the event of a lifetime, because it inspires aspects in each party's character that they had never expressed before: the pair may even drop out of society for a time in order to focus on just each other, and to explore themselves through interaction with each other. The curious thing in this relationship is that these parties are rather different in outlook, and when they are not actually interacting as potential friends it's probably more likely for them to dislike or mistrust each other because of how different they are. […] However, when they are able to interact normally, it is a strange and wonderful discovery to realize that the interaction is unexpectedly smooth and invigorating. It's hard for people to describe, but as I understand it: while both parties recognize their differences on the surface, these differences are created by a root structure that coincides perfectly with each other, so that the differences on the surface are entirely complementary and cause no friction at all.

it’s also meaningful to consider that the structure of my own psyche is LII as well. so i’ve got a bit of a bias towards aradia and john.. not in the sense that what i actually say about them is personally biased, but that the bias is moreso my personal attention to people and characters of these two types in particular to see how my own experiences are reflected in them. i really do feel of a reflection of my own thought and work process in aradia and in the more abstract sense she is like an extension of myself. when people say they like aradia as a character i get secondhand joy from that because shares certain specific traits with me. of course i am still my own person though.

these are some of the most apt profiles i've found for these types at a glance. again, think about these characters as you read these descriptions. [from here (ESE / LII)]

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert) - john

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on socializing and guiding social situations and interactions so that the people involved can have fun and enjoy themselves. ESEs are typically in the middle of what is happening socially and know about the latest events and what people think and feel about them. They are skilled at bringing people together in fun and interesting ways and making everyone feel actively involved. Their friends know them as people who love life and feel most at home in social situations surrounded by other fun people. In their pursuit of fun-oriented and stimulating social interactions, ESEs typically neglect to structure their own thought processes and views in a way that would help them know exactly what they think and why. They are receptive to others’ attempts to help them introduce more structure and logical consistency in their life and thinking processes. They gravitate most to people who open up to fun and emotional interaction easily, yet are also skilled at systematizing thoughts and views and explaining ideological matters.

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert) - aradia

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on logical, structured thought and generating true assertions and views. LIIs are typically strict thinkers who are concerned that everything fits together in a logical way. They are skilled at understanding, generating, and criticizing logical arguments and instilling their views in the people around them. Their friends know them as people with well-organized thoughts and opinions who know what they think and can elucidate their ideas to others. In their pursuit of logical understanding, LIIs typically neglect their external social interactions and activities that would help them lighten up and experience a connection with other people. They are receptive to others’ attempts to create these fun and lighthearted situations for them. They gravitate most to people who are interested in their opinions and understanding of things, but are also skilled at organizing social interactions and creating a sense of emotional unity.

ive recently consciously experienced the feeling of duality for the first time since i've been communicating with my mom's high school classmate, and it is definitely a real thing. i even remember mom pointing out she noticed when we were all talking on the phone over a year ago that i perked up whenever he said stuff. here is how i explained it:

its bonkers how only once i experience something for myself i’m able to explain in detail what makes it so great based on what my impressions about it were because i tend to have a peculiar way of describing the qualities of an experience. my specialty is deep precision in my analogies for what it’s like. so now i can tell you how conversations with your dual feel… heres the status report. it’s weightless. its so strange. like the topic conversation stretches into infinity that you can pick right back up at any time. it’s hazy and unfocused but still pleasant (unless you’re particularly self-conscious and need to unlearn hiding your true self). but the best parts of it come when you have a specific issue or insecurity that comes with being your most natural self that the world seems to misunderstand about you, or just not give you what you don't even know you’ve been looking for. i think you might mutually intimidate each other at first because you're lowkey both expecting to be made fun of for your inadequacy with certain types of information that the other is nuanced with (and you’re not), but it never comes. you don't feel like what your dual wants in life is wrong. your dual seems so talented in all the ways you hope to shine but you’re always unsure of. for the introvert (me) wishing they felt their own active presence as an object (Se, Ne, Te, Fe) like the extravert does. for the extravert, wishing they felt their own relationships with other objects (Si, Ni, Ti, Fi) like the introvert does. any other intertype relationship (ITR) vs. duality is like the difference between 99% and 100% totality of a solar eclipse, except it’s the level of understanding with another person, like the eclipsing of your own information metabolism with theirs. of course there are other things that influence how well your relationship with this person goes, but i am talking strictly about when it comes to basic communication, the level of understanding you share. sometimes it might feel like you dont have much to talk about or the topic is unfocused, because you two ARE opposites in many ways after all, especially at a glance (domain of interests usually come with specific macroelements. theories about thought structures—like socionics, for instance—are in the domain of intuition, while physical interests and experiences are in the domain of sensorics.) i’m LII in the NT club (researchers) and my dual ESE in the SF club (social-communicative). so they’re constantly providing you with information from their own niche in life that you may be entirely unfamiliar with, but for some reason still interests and relaxes you to hear. you might not feel like you have a lot to say about the topic since but you are fully amazed by this person’s activity. it also makes you feel more sure of yourself and more confident that people truly appreciate and need your natural abilities.

> let’s break it down

here’s some lightly modified descriptions of the information blocks in LII and ESE's information metabolism models from pyatnitsky so you can get an overarching impression of how their type contributes to the informational sphere. i added some of my own adjustments and borrowed some sentences from stratiyevskaya's descriptions. additionally, you can click on the name of the block for an explanation of the role it plays.

i put about a week’s work into these collages but my goal with them was to actually show where i think these information blocks are most pertinent in these characters specifically and where they apply so it’s not just some abstract thing, just as supplementary examples as needed. (for the meaning of these information elements individually you can refer to cysia’s document.)

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert)

EGO (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Analytical thinking. They are well aware of the interrelationships of some objects or phenomena with others, and what laws are in effect or not in effect. On the basis of a comprehensive analysis, they put forward insights about the global essence of specific objects and phenomena, their possibilities. They acutely charge the situation with potential energy. For every situation, there is an archetype.

Super-EGO (-Fi? -> -Se!). Normative ideas about relationships between people and ways to get out of unpleasant ethical situations. Understands ethics as founded on the principles of fairness; to do to one side of the equation that you do to the other. Volitional manifestations in order to protect their living space are carried out only on the basis of personal experience. Because of the limited opportunities to fight back, they react painfully to attempts of any interference in his life. Does not respond to any arbitrary crudeness or volitional pressuring. Does not compromise goals, stubbornly clings to them. Avoids direct confrontation if possible, would rather talk civilly and earnestly. Uses their naturally strong sense of the conditioning of objects over time to avoid collisions with their material interests. Due to this, they may appear as someone with very little weaknesses.

Super-ID (+Fe -> +Si?) Attracts information about a good mood, a specific positive state, or a feeling. They would like to think that they can eliminate serious inconveniences, make the environment around them more comfortable. This skill needs to be evaluated. They are unconsciously activated when there is a need to make the environment more comfortable, which should lead to a better state, raise the mood at least in the immediate environment. In friendly, comfortable, and informal company, their cool exterior thaws and they start lighting up with joviality.

ID (+Te! → +Ni?). Has developed guidelines and methods that relate to specific practical activities, technological effectiveness, and resource use. Spontaneously feels the correct allocation of resources over time, which allows them to effectively solve tasks at an unhurried pace. This pace is deeply rational in nature.

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert)

EGO (+Fe! -> +Si?). Perception of the world is fundamentally emotional. Feels the emotional atmosphere well in any situation, knows the relevance of the way of expression, the place and weight (importance) of the internal state in each situation. Flexible approach to solving problems of managing and expressing emotions. They show bright emotionality both negative and positive. Creatively produces around themself comfort, coziness, conveniently arranges space, surrounds others with beautiful things, changing thereby the general condition and mood. Usually opinionated about their tastes.

(wow i really went all out on that this one that tumblr wont even display it in full resolution, so here. john just has so many more lines to choose from, sorry!)

Super-EGO (+Te! -> +Ni?). Practical and technological thinking is tightly based on acquired knowledge and patterns of solving similar problems. Methods of business activity in both general and specific areas are selected based on the opinion of reputable sources, or adjusted to one of the mastered templates. Predicting specific changes in the sphere of their interests is carried out only on the basis of personal experience. He is not able to compare his own method of forecasting with others, so he is sensitive to criticism of poor timing or deadlines, does not like situations that feel like a waste of his time; he is lost in connection with negative events. Guided by purely personal experience, he chooses specific times and deadlines for various tasks with a normative understanding of business activity in general.

Super-ID (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Attracts information about the order, specific logical relationships in the field of activity or interests. Needs someone to suggest specific ways to make connections between phenomena, patterns, and rules. Tries to be reasonable himself, even though he knows that this is not characteristic of him. Sometimes he openly talks of his actions that were poorly reasoned through, as if inviting other people to laugh at his thoughtlessness. The ordering and systematization of thought opens up a new way of understanding of events that are happening around him, as well as new prospects, potential, and capabilities. He likes to think that he understands the essence of a situation and lights up with new ideas. This skill needs to be evaluated. It is unconsciously activated when it is necessary to create order, clear consistency and clarity on a particular issue, especially if their abilities are recognized.

ID (-Fi? -> -Se!). Involuntarily keeps track of communications in their social circle. Without hesitation, they use a variety of ways to establish and maintain relationships that have been developed in his personal practice. Good relationships are important for personal inner confidence in a situation. To prevent unfavorable relationships, they are inclined, often without even realizing it, to act with pressure, forcing a showdown, forcing the partner to change the relationship for the better. Frequently demonstrates his resoluteness, persistence, and purposefulness, as if proposing his behavior as a model for imitation. Usually tells in much detail what obstacles were created before him, and how he overcame them, what he was told in response, and what he replied with, and so on and in the like.

(full res)

you might be able to see already how they would complement each other's thought process nicely. here are some descriptions of what the communication between these types is like:

+Fe! : program function of ESE and dual-seeking function of LII

The ESE periodically tells emotionally charged "program" function stories, telling of how somebody has acted and what they have done. The main orientation of ESE's leading ethical program is: "No one should be offended." The LII carefully listens to these statements, and, demonstrating a full understanding of these issues, develops logical basis for them, e.g. in calm persuasive voice he explains how the ESE has acted justly and fairly. The effusion of turbulent emotions coming from the ESE is counterbalanced by their absorption by the LII, who breaks them down into fragments by asking clarifying questions of the ESE.

-Ti? : dual-seeking function of ESE and program function of LII

The ESE is tuned to accepting information when it's relayed in clear logical form. He issues requests for logical explanations delivered from a point of view of generalized rules underpinning specific life events, which he receives from the LII, who delivers clear unambiguous interpretations, places the dots over all "i's", and demonstrates good understanding of problems that are of concern to the ESE. Not receiving information of this kind, the ESE begins making demands of those around him to be "intelligent" and understand the reasons of his actions.

-Ne! : activating function of ESE and creative function of LII

The ESE feels uncomfortable if he doesn't extend his help to people who are in need of it. His subconscious orientation is: "care and guard the talented", be kind and attentive towards other people. The LII usually meets such criteria by proving in action his aptitude at uncovering hidden capabilities, winning trust, passing on the knowledge. The ESE creates supportive conditions for people who are capable but lacking in assertive "push-through" qualities, among whom the LII finds himself, and a special work regime that protects such individuals from overloads on sensing functions. Newly discovered possibilities inspire and promote the pragmatic and business-oriented activities of the ESE. He can support a new undertaking or initiative with an enormous amount of energy and enthusiasm, light up by new ideas. Only the LII is able to, even having a vague general notion about the subject, construct a developed theory or idea of any issue. This theory shows to be promising in the process of its concrete application within its field.

+Si? : creative function of ESE and activating function of LII

LII tries to take care of their well-being, but may gravitate towards demonstrative asceticism, exhaust himself with work, studies, or exercise. The ESE periodically takes care of creating an environment that "charges" the LII with pleasant sensations: a reception of guests, a good meal, a visit to a theater or a concert, an interesting trip, and so on. At the same time the ESE takes pleasure in this himself.

+Te! : role function of ESE and observing function of LII

The role function of the ESE manifests as business-oriented activity and initiative, supplying interesting information, provision with material assistance to those who are in need, general restlessness and fussy busyness. This function is normative, i.e. the ESE seeks to comply with the norms and accepted ways of doing things. The nuancing of the understanding of these norms, i.e. introduction of activities that go beyond them, is possible only by considering LII's advice and recommendations. The LII serves as a director of this function, adjusting its workings by advocating the necessity of practical application of some beneficial ideas, rejection of useless though spectacular ideas, and the need to ensure standards of life not below average by rejection of equalization.

+Ni? : vulnerable function of ESE and demonstrative function of LII

The ESE poorly feels the flow of time, both physical, which manifests as running late and poor distribution of his strengths over time, and historical, which manifests as poor ability to anticipate consequences of actions and tendency for traditional ways of solving problems. The ESE finds it difficult to make radical choices. The LII fully takes this aspect onto his shoulders. He has an unconscious ability to distribute activities in time, thereby avoiding work stress and overloads, and is capable of making a radical choice. The LII is able to calmly wait and in the necessary moment get to work when the wasteful fussiness of the ESE reaches its critical point.

-Fi? : ignoring function of ESE and role function of LII

On this function the ESE gives advice and makes demands concerning the creation of appropriate psychological distances in form of proper behavior, courtesy and politeness, denouncing rudeness and boorishness. In this manner, the ESE adjusts LII's role function, which in itself contains a set of large psychological distances: a sullen stubborn look, unsociability, etc. With such fine-tuning it becomes easier for the LII to come into contact with people, whereby he becomes more animated, resolves many of his ethical problems that previously frightened him, gains greater insight into human relationships and a more accurate understanding as to whose side to take in situations of conflict.

-Se! : demonstrative function of ESE and vulnerable function of LII

The LII finds it very difficult to exert pressure on other people from his own will and initiative, especially in cases when he needs to attain something for himself. He finds this difficult to do - to press ahead in certain situations, to gather all the required paperwork, to stand in lines and queues, to petition for his own interests, even the ones that are of vital importance to him. He finds it difficult to push a person away, to sharply refuse someone, to quarrel loudly and defend his rights, to put an end to relations that have exhausted themselves. The ESE doesn't directly affect this function, i.e. he doesn't verbally criticize and teach the LII on this aspect, but takes over its functioning completely. The ESE exerts a constant, sometimes intrusive and imposing pressure on other people if there is a need to achieve something, to defend justice and demand fair treatment, to protect interests of those who are close and dear to him. The ESE goes to the right jurisdictions, inspires people around him and directs them towards work and purposeful activity, keeps up a high pace of life himself, and breaks off relations with those who don't deserve trust.

and some miscellaneous excerpts from literature i liked a lot. (i can't remember the sources i used since i've been working on this on and off, for the past week and i was just spilling things onto the post. i think stratiyevskaya?):

Mood - that’s what matters in this dyad - emotions and feelings. Anything that suppresses and overshadows good mood is considered unethical in this dyad and is strongly condemned.

The ESE does not allow the LII to limit him in the possibilities of consuming the amount of pleasures and joys, which he considers to be necessary and sufficient. Fortunately, both partners in the dyad - LII and ESE - are obstinate and unyielding. Both are demanding, unwilling (and not allowing anyone else) to lower the bar of their requirements, unable to give in and make concessions (especially in anything that is of principle for themselves). Both know how to make their partner reckon with their interests and insist on the fulfillment of their demands.

LII is impressed by the emotional generosity of ESE and his spiritual responsiveness. All this finds the deepest understanding in LII, since he is tuned to the same priorities and values. For his part, ESE admires the ability of LII to speak clearly and definitely on every issue. ESE is struck by the harmony of the reasoning of LII, the amazing clarity, accuracy and laconicism of his statements. To ESE it seems that for LII, there is nothing incomprehensible in this world; he can give a comprehensive explanation on every issue. And everything that ESE thought about before is gradually being built into a definite and clear system of views, which he can now very freely and naturally present. Confusion and chaos in his worldview gradually gives way to a stable logical order, as if someone patient and careful was sorting all his thoughts into shelves. Such clarity inspires and activates ESE; he begins to see some prospects for himself, new opportunities. His energy and activity, in addition to emotional and ethical expression, also receives sensory realization: ESE begins to take care of LII and carefully looks after him. If LII is a colleague with whom ESE is especially pleasant to communicate with, he begins to treat him with something tasty, homemade; will make some small, but beautiful and necessary gift (for example: new cologne or a warm scarf).

> okay that's great and all but when are we talking about john and aradia specifically?

yes, that was the point of this post. i just had to build all that up first so i could walk you through my thoughts in a fully substantiated way.

considering chronology of wind again, john doesnt realize it but he needs aradias frankness and insight. even if she’s unable to explicate on vague things, she states the reason why instead of making him feel stupid (it would create a doomed timeline) but thats all john needs to hear. she is self-effacing and only tells him the truth, and we know other people can take advantage of john’s suggestibility in this way. aradia tells john who is or isnt trustworthy, what actions would be useful/necessary and which ones wont, without any selfish personal motive a la vriska or terezi.

^ (juuuust the record my nitpicky ass doesn’t agree with the truth of the classpect interpretation on behalf of the author in the last bit BUT that is beside the point here. the point is that she is answering john’s question in a way that is meaningful for him)

aradia doesnt realize it but she needs john’s friendy goofiness to brighten her up because she is surrounded by people who antagonize her when she’s literally not even trying to get under anyones skin. everybody gets frustrated at her “spooky nonsense” because theyre afraid of their own mortality, basically telling her to put a lid on it because thinking about hard truths makes THEM personally uncomfortable. but to her it’s always just been a fact of life. plugging your ears to reality is ignorance, but at the same time that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning in anything. she wants to help people see this and she dedicates herself to becoming a psychopomp for the deceased and earnestly trying to make people feel emotionally and physically comfortable in their situation through exploring their memories.

john isn’t hostile towards her. by being herself she is immediately able to earn john’s trust when they initially talk. this is also true in canon; the one time they talked when john initially comes up to her, saying “can i ask you something? seem reasonable, and pretty nice.” unfortunately he asked her the one question she didn’t have much to say about, and i can’t blame him for expecting all the troll girls to be basically insane at that point. but i don’t think aradia is insane. yes she is odd, but i think it’s evident that she has a good head on her shoulders with knowledge of the way the universe around her works, and in the end wants to simply bask in watching it play out. i think she deserves to get childishly excited about it, especially considering she was dead for most of her developmental years.

aside from getting his answers answered, john shows curiosity about her and her species and even care about her well-being and state. this naturally comes from their conversation’s ebb and flow. aradia tells this straightforwardly, without bells and whistles and without trying to trick him, unlike the other trolls who seem keen on well..trolling him.. and providing him with unclear answers to those sorts things. maybe aside from vriska, but she did have a little bit of an attitude about it wherein her and john’s dynamic felt uneven or off-rhythm, with a large psychological distance. it’s a different feeling with aradia, however. they exchange information on the same rhythm and so are able to achieve a closer psychological distance in communication.

there are no judgments coming from aradia about john being “stupid”. she doesn’t underestimate him. it’s not just that john wants to understand (although he does), but he needs to understand what he is doing. aradia compliments john about the traits he possesses that allow him to be effective. i guess in a way i’m doing the same thing with john right now.

john is so mobile and strung along by being the action hero going from place to place as a can-do deliveryboy that he never has time to reflect on his losses, think through them, and accept them.

literally who else is more qualified in all of homestuck than aradia for talking to john about these things?

on top of all of this, they have objectively significant connections beyond just mutual self-realization in a way i think could've been fleshed out. there is potential here.

for a story, i can think of a way that a conversation between them could plausibly happen using the systems established in homestuck's mythology. in canon, we see that john never met aradia until year 3 on the golden battleship in the dream bubbles when he goes to sleep.

but john still dreamt out in the furthest ring. that means during those 3 years it was possible for john to have had a dream with her in it, or at least aradiabot. i know john didn't know aradia's name beforehand but let's just explore the possibility that they could have had met before that. remember that all these aradiabots were once this person.

aradia had obtained john's crosbytop, his dads hat, and his wallet quite a while before their sgrub session. theres your entry

imagine john seeing that

memories of dear old dad get stirred up through the link of seeing those items

the dream bubble transforms

john is forced to stand in his memories and explore grief and the meaning of life with aradia

physically being in the space around him would definitely help john reflect easier i think because it will force him to actually exist within the space and talk to someone, taking some time out for this. he wanted to know if anything could've been done or if he was just too late to save them. i know aradia would be able help him slow down and introspect. don't forget the opportunities created by the properties of these spaces that are glubbed out in the furthest ring by the horrorterrors that meld the labyrinthine time and space of their surroundings to the memories of the people and finding others through common points in memory. i would imagine that objects known by multiple people would provide a common point in memory to bring them together.

The bubbles allow the players of Sburb/Sgrub who have lost a life to continue dreaming. The reality constructed in the bubbles is a combination of the memories of everyone inside the bubble accessible to any who has learned the bubble's nature. According to Aradia, it would be quite difficult to exit a bubble to get into a new one, however someone inside a bubble can travel to another one through common points in memory, taking their own memories with them to be integrated into the new bubble. These memories mix and combine, but in general, no new memories are created. Additionally, the bubbles store the consciousness of a player who has lost their dream selves and their original selves, making them double as a form of afterlife; the player is then capable of accessing the memory of anyone else who has gained access to the bubbles. Living players, who have lost or become their dream selves, appear in the dream bubbles when they are asleep. It is in this fashion that the bubbles can be used as meeting places between the dead and the living; even those from alternate universes and doomed timelines can be found in a bubble. Furthermore, in addition to memories, the bubbles can to some extent reflect the thoughts of a player. Beyond that, the bubbles can also behave similarly to Skaia's clouds, showing things that are in some way relevant to the player - such as when coin-flip Dave saw alpha Dave grieving over Bro's corpse - something he was not aware of before being shown it by a bubble.

physically reflect the thoughts of the player…… rubs hands

john and aradia share points in memory related to those objects, and to top it all of they are directly related to john's dad on the same day he died, while aradia grew up with them as bizarre alien artifacts from an archeological dig. the memories are more emotionally charged for john, and i think that distinction would probably be relevant to them both.

to be honest i think after speaking with him for a bit she would readily tell john that she regrets not talking to the kids from the universe her team created sooner before she died, but is glad that she can in the afterlife. in canon, alpha aradia told a doomed dave, "i think its absurd i never introduced myself to you in all that time i spent moping around the lab. guess i wasnt in a very good mood".

now not all the aradiabots would know who john is, because the trolls only found out about the humans once they created the genesis frog and hid out in the lab in the veil from jack who infiltrated their session. the aradiabot in the lab was the last one that survived. so if any one of them would know who john is, it would be the aradiabot that exploded. aradia's dream self ascended to god tier in jack noir's rampage on trolls' derse and took those memories with her which we can assume is what made the last aradiabot explode. its known that any original copy that dies when another rises up becomes a ghost and lives on in the dream bubbles, which would include her. a doomed aradiabot we see in the comic, which was the one that originally landed to alternia in the past, becomes more lighthearted after she dies, a bit more like her alive counterpart.

oh yeah, and the more obvious surface-level connections to top it off? ghostbusters? john ain't afraid of no ghost girl. john would be genuinely interested in what aradia living as a ghost irl on her planet and not as a gaming abstraction in the furthest ring would be like. i imagine she would be able to explain the subjective experience and that she had to prototype herself into the kernelsprite order for her server player to see her. there's also no way john hasn't seen a movie as classic as indiana jones and judging from her poster i can imagine he probably thinks it's sweet that aradia's strife specibus whipkind is a reflection of her own personal tastes, interests and hobbies.

so yeah i've just been chewing on all of this and thinking about it but i know i needed to just get this out there somehow. obviously since i spent two weeks putting this post together i'd be happy to hear your thoughts

[steddieas-shegoes]

For the requests: Steve has a good relationship with his parents & when they come back from wherever & someone (Nancy/Robin) tells them about the UD & his parents react by calling out every single adult involved. Maybe he got badly hurt, & they were called in & upon finding out they call out Joyce, Hop, Owens & Murray for the way no adult inthese kids lives had any clue about what their kids were going through. Nor were their parents given notice esp bc having underaged kids sign NDAs is not legal nor legally binfing (Maybe all the parents of the party kids are there and get all the info just like the Harrington's)

MY DARLING! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! HONESTLY this one hit different. You know how much I love making Steve suffer and when he has good parents, a lot of his suffering disappears. But it was nice to branch out a bit. Also finally some common sense! KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE SIGNING AN NDA THEMS THE FACTS! Steve's parents are here to fight for everyone so WELCOME TO THE CHAOS OF STEVE'S OVERPROTECTIVE LAWYER PARENTS! - Mickala ❤️

--------------------------------------------------

Steve Harrington had managed to avoid the hospital for years. Not because he shouldn’t have gone, but because he refused to go.

But this time, he was unconscious, which means he didn’t have a choice.

And now, staring at his parents’ shocked and appalled faces next to his bed, he realized he wished he’d just died, actually.

“This happens…often?” Anne Harrington asked Dr. Owens, who looked like he wished he was also dead.

“It does happen more often than we like. But it appears to be fixed now! Steven has been a wonderful asset to us, which is why we want to make sure he is comfortable and all his medical expenses are paid.”

He handled that well, Steve thought.

“And this is the first time anyone has bothered to call us?” Richard Harrington asked much too quietly.

That was his ‘I’m about to lose my shit’ voice and Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with it.

“I do apologize, we had to deal with enough NDAs as it is,” Dr. Owens replied, not realizing that he was speaking to two lawyers who were about to ruin his life.

Steve let his head rest against the pillow of the hospital bed, sighing.

“At what age did Steve sign his first NDA?”

“I believe he was 16.”

“And did he have a lawyer present?” Anne didn’t wait for a response before continuing. “I can tell you he didn’t. We’re his lawyers and we were not even called. Are you the one in charge of this shitshow?”

It wasn’t often Anne Harrington said a curse word. Steve only ever heard it a handful of times, usually after hanging up with a client who would lose their case.

“I am one of the people who is tasked with this, yes. But if you don’t mind, I need to check in with a few people before I can truly devote time to this conversation.”

“Oh, please. Continue on with your day. Don’t mind us sitting next to our son in the hospital.”

Dr. Owens sighed, knowing this fight was barely even starting, and left the room.

Steve’s parents turned to him.

“How many concussions have you had?”

“Why didn’t you call us?”

“Who else knows about this?”

“Will this happen again?”

The questions were too much, and Steve’s head was pounding. He couldn’t do this right now.

“Hopper.”

“Jim Hopper? I thought he died.”

Admittedly, his parents had been out of town for a while. They didn’t know Hopper was back as of a few months ago, and probably didn’t realize he’d taken over as chief again.

“He didn’t. He’s around here somewhere.”

“He knew about all this?”

“Mom, I love you, but my head is splitting down the middle. I need to stop talking.”

Anne slowly brushed her hand through his hair, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Of course, honey. We’ll be back soon. Do not sign anything without us here, okay?”

“Okay.”

His dad briefly touched his shoulder before they both left the room.

Finally, some peace and quiet.

Until he was woken up by yelling.

Not just any yelling. Richard Harrington yelling.

If he wasn’t chained to the bed by an IV and blood transfusion bag, he would be up and in the hallway.

Apparently, he didn’t need to worry, though.

His mom came into the room, leaving the door open to the hallway so he could hear everything.

“I’m glad you’re awake, honey. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Who is he yelling at?”

“Every adult who didn’t bother to take care of you the way they should. Not just you, but all of these kids,” she said, tone more annoyed by the second.

“I don’t understand.”

“Honey, you’ve been protecting these kids in ways you never should have had to. All these adults who were involved never told any of us what was going on. They let you keep standing in the line of fire, getting hurt, seeing things you shouldn’t have to and never even bothered to call us. You signed NDAs with the government without parents or lawyers present. That alone is illegal, do you understand that?”

“So I’m in trouble?”

“Oh, honey, no. You’re not in trouble. Your dad’s having a few words with the chief and Dr. Owens.”

Steve tuned in to what was being said in the hall.

“I cannot fathom what you’ve done. Expecting these children to save this town, the world, and not even have their own parents know? Who are they supposed to turn to? You? And what have you done to help them? As far as I’m concerned, you should be arrested and imprisoned. If I have anything to say about it, you will!”

“Mom, can you please get him to stop? I know he’s upset, but Hop really protected us a lot, okay? And Dr. Owens was just doing his job.”

“A lot of people have just been doing their jobs instead of considering that maybe children shouldn’t be responsible for defeating actual monsters.”

Well. Yeah, she did have a point there.

“Where is everyone?”

Anne sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand, running her thumb along the back of it.

“The Munson boy is in the room next door, he’ll be okay. Robin is home with her parents. Most of the kids are now with their parents, but that Sinclair boy is still being watched for concussion symptoms.”

Steve sighed with relief.

No one was lost. Everyone had pretty minor injuries. Maybe he was able to protect everyone.

“That Dustin boy is relentless,” Anne said with a smile. “He really looks up to you.”

“Yeah, he’s like a brother to me.”

“His mom didn’t know about any of this either, did she?”

Steve thought about it.

Honestly, she probably had some idea. Maybe not of the real details, but she had to know Dustin was involved in something he couldn’t talk about. Same with most of the parents.

But Steve’s parents were gone a lot. Their main office was in Boston, and they would often have to travel around the country for their clients. He was used to not seeing them, only getting to talk to them on the phone once or twice a week.

It’s easy to hide shit over the phone, and when they did manage to make it home, the Upside Down monsters were safely tucked away underground.

They had no way of knowing anything was wrong. He did it on purpose, just like all of the kids did.

Even without signing the NDAs, he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t have told their parents.

“I think we just thought we were protecting you guys.”

“Honey, it’s not your job to protect us. It’s our job to protect you.”

She looked so sad.

Steve didn’t want her to be sad.

“Mom, you couldn’t have done anything. And we’re all safe.”

His dad walked in the room, face red. He closed the door behind him and ran his hand over his face.

“Doctor said Steve can go when the nurse comes to disconnect him from everything soon,” he said, coming to sit in the chair by his bed.

“That’s good news. We’ll get you home and settled. We canceled our flight out so we can stick around for a while and make sure you’re okay,” Anne said with a smile.

“You guys don’t have to cancel your trip. Your clients need you.”

“Not as much as you need us, son,” Richard said, giving him a soft smile.

“I’ve handled it before, though.”

“And you shouldn’t have. Trust me, this town, the government, they’ve got a shit storm coming and I’m leading it,” his dad huffed.

A knock interrupted Steve’s response, the door opening slightly before they answered.

Eddie.

“Steve? You okay?”

Steve’s parents looked at the door, then back at Steve, who was doing his best to hide the fond smile on his face.

It wasn’t working though, not when he saw the way Eddie was trying to take inventory of his injuries from across the room.

“You can come in, Eds.”

“Who’s this, honey?” Anne asked.

“This is Eddie.”

“Oh! You poor thing. I heard all about what you’ve been through. Let me just say, if we had caught wind of it earlier and knew you were Steve’s friend, we would’ve been representing you in court,” Anne rushed to say, her hands fluttering over Eddie’s when he got next to the bed.

Eddie’s wide eyes would have been amusing if Steve didn’t worry that he might run for the hills at the care his parents showed.

“Uh. Thank you?”

“Do you need anything right now? Do your parents need anything?” Richard asked, sitting forward in his chair, business face on.

“Um, just me and my uncle, but no. I’m heading home, but wanted to check on Steve before I go.”

“Of course! You guys are close friends?”

It was an innocent question. His parents just liked to know who was in his life, that’s all. But Eddie looked at him with panic written all over his face.

Steve gave him a small smile, then turned to his parents.

“Actually, he’s my boyfriend.”

They were quiet for a moment, which Steve expected. No matter how well he thought they’d take it, he knew it would be a shock.

But his parents didn’t let him down.

“How long have you been together, Steve?”

“Since March. Four months?” He watched as Eddie started to back away, probably expecting the worst.

Anne smacked Steve’s arm, forgetting for a moment that he was in the hospital for a reason.

“Sorry,” she said before crossing her arms. “You’ve had a boyfriend for four months and didn’t tell us? We could have come back and arranged dinner to meet him. I’m so sorry our son is rude, Eddie. He wasn’t raised that way, I assure you.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“Um. What’s happening right now?”

“We’ll be home for a while to make sure Steve is alright. We’d love to have you over for dinner soon. With your uncle if you’d like,” Richard added as Eddie just stared between them.

“What do you like? I just got a new cookbook that has so many European dishes I want to try. Are you a fan of Polish food? You know what, no, what about Greek? We haven’t had good Greek food in so long.”

Steve was laughing, he couldn’t help it.

“Steve, what the hell is going on here?”

“Eddie, that’s my mom, Anne, and my dad, Richard. They’re kind of the best, and apparently they want you and Wayne to come for dinner. Think you can find time in your schedule?”

“Uh.”

“Oh dear. Do you have a concussion? They should monitor you kids better,” Anne worried, moving her hands up to cup his cheeks and look in his eyes. “Should I get a nurse?”

“No, mom, he’s okay. He just expected you two to freak out.”

“About what?”

“The fact he’s a man.”

“Oh! I do suppose that’s a reasonable concern.”

“Eddie, let me ask you this: do you make Steve happy?” Richard asked.

“I think so.”

“And he makes you happy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then it sounds like we have no reason to be upset. Now, dinner? Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Okay.”

Steve laughed loudly.

“Eds, come here,” Steve gestured for him to come closer.

Eddie moved next to the bed, his arm bandaged, and a new cut with stitches in it on his forehead.

“Closer.”

Eddie leaned in.

Steve leaned up and kissed his lips. Just a quick peck, just enough to get the point across that this was really okay and really happening.

“Tomorrow at 6?” Steve asked before he pulled away completely.

Eddie nodded.

“And please bring your uncle, we need to discuss our plan for a lawsuit on behalf of all of you,” Richard spoke up from his chair.

“Oh. Yes, sir.” Eddie pulled away from the bed, nervously playing with his rings.

“Richard is fine, son.”

Eddie was blushing, which Steve was absolutely going to make fun of him for later.

“See you tomorrow, then?” Eddie asked awkwardly.

“Love you, Eds.”

“Oh. Uh. Yep. Love you too, Stevie.”

He raced out of the room, leaving Steve and Anne laughing quietly.

“Poor boy. Didn’t know what to do, did he?”

“No, I think he isn’t used to a positive reaction when people find out about him.”

“His uncle knows about you two, though, right?”

“Yeah, Wayne’s been great.”

“Good. Well, I’m going to find a nurse so we can go home. You should be comfortable in your own bed.”

“And I am going to make a quick call to my buddy in Chicago to see if he can pull some information on this Owens guy. We have a lot of work to do.”

Steve was used to this. For some kids, maybe this wasn’t good parenting. Maybe his parents being gone for a lot of his life had a negative impact.

But Steve never doubted how much they loved him. They still came home for every birthday, every Christmas. They still managed to take a family vacation every year. They gave him everything he needed and most of what he wanted. They supported him through everything, the proof right here in front of him now.

[sirwow]

I need to get out my bleeding heart for minecraft because man this game basically created the foundation and growth of my brain however rocky and I need to tell the world because I said so.

This game is a canvas. Not a empty one mind you but a canvas nonetheless. The one presented to all to begin being a world in which they’re left to learn and discover and build or destroy all on their own. Or maybe with a friend, or many. Someone’s first experience with Minecraft likely isn’t picking it up randomly but rather being told tales by others of what they weaved with the canvas they were given.

Weather that person was as quaint to just add a few additions to the canvas; a small wooden house situated inside a cool looking cave with some silly story about a creeper and a fire. Or if this person was someone you don’t really know but they put themselves out there to show their work to the world. A completely blank canvas with only one block? Why not? A downright ridiculous looking building with the sole goal of getting melons? Sure.

These stories and art is what makes this game so special. Something so stupid and mundane like a bunch of 1 block jumps with a goofy voice over and sound effects can still be such a great and beautiful thing with heart and care. We can’t understand every work but damnit I have respect for every last aspect and one. The depths of this game truly allowing everyone have some place, from leisure to mastery. I can not mention everyone but I will cover the broad strokes and their wonders.

Firstly to the builders of Minecraft. You are the forefront and most clear of your art. It is art within the most literal sense of the word, weather it is a building with intricate detail in every crevice and corner thought out meticulously. Or those of the larger then ourselves works. Organic mythical works of dragons, people, animals and more. Builds only made to be viewed once at one angle akin to a real painting. The recreations or creations of yours dreams and hopes. Or even just the humble home and village to create a story of as you survive. Creative, builders tools, survival, challenge play throughs. You’re all artists.

Redstoners. Though siblings of builders, your work lays in numbers, timing, mechanical works. Fixing issues you created for yourself when trying to achieve a goal. It may just be making the fastest door, or the largest and you’d still manage to break so many boundaries with time. Or it is those beyond my personal comprehension. You make machines capable of manipulating the behavior of the game itself by going through the cracks found over the decade of redstone. As much as it is wizardry to myself I wish someday to learn this as well if I ever choose to go down such a path. However as of now my eyes are set on another unexpected and undermined path that is next.

PVP. One much loathed by those outside it and I am guilty of such for almost a decade but as now Iv become knee deep in the waters of it myself I also see how it’s an art. Maybe more in the martial sense as obvious but it’s still very impressive what I see and understand in it now. The functions beyond “swing sword good”; a much deeper phycological game aspect to it then seen outside and understanding the intricacies of mechanics you generally give little thought to playing normally. Just how much health does each weapon do- crit or not. How fast can a crossbow reload, watch your sprint or you might just lose. On and on. Iv gained a lot of respect for it.

Parkour. Get your parkour civilization jokes out of the way- this is probably the MOST fundamental part of the game and I find it downright magical what can be done with it. I realize I’m saying that a lot but it’s 1 am shh. Anywho it’s got all its ins and outs. The ice parkour, neos, fences, drip leaf, combined redstone and timing, trapdoors and more. I’m missing about 50 here but that just goes to show how deep it is.

Off of parkour comes our good friend Speedrunning!!! Dedication and time in its most raw. Triangulation for college? Wrong! Block game. It’s a mental load to take on and the aspect of random chance and taking everything on your shoulders is persistence and patience.

And the best part of all of this? They all come together in their own ways for hundreds nay thousands of ways to play. All without touching on the deep deep well that is servers. Skyblock players, pvpers, ice boaters, niche specialists games (Cops v Crims, Bedwars, party games, tower defense, MMORPGs, one in the quiver for my old chums out there, ect) you all have my undying interest and respect in the details and depths of what you love.

So now you have the little canvas before you. Make what you wish no matter how bad. No one will create something identical to what you choose and it’s your story to paint- no matter how lame, small, boring, bad, or ugly you might claim it to be. I want it to still be made and for you to explore whatever depths you choose. Weather that be the simple literal ones, finding a neat cave or what have you, or finding a passion buried under the rubble.

And me? I guess I’ll keep doing my thing of watching and learning about all the silly little corners this game has and mastering what I can even if that takes another decade to do. The universe loves me and it loves you too, go and create.

[ihopesocomic]

hi hello, been following the comic for quite a while now, decided to give it a read after discovering your MP review (i was still a MP fan when i first watched it LOL, pretty embarrassing.) and ive been in love with the comic ever since, i absolutely LOVE how everyone is written, but i really want to talk about the difference between vicious and powerstrike.

both showed the mothers being nice (to some degree) to their daughters, but powerstrike's sudden abusive behavior towards nothing never made sense because, frankly, theres no reason for her to be acting like this other than that shes an ableist turd, and she has a perfectly normal relationship with said person that hurt her daughter... vicious' relationship with jasper on the other hand has been shown to be abusive, and even though vicious is horrible, shes is a victim of jasper's abuse, and her repeating the abuse onto her children comes off as her trying to maintain control over things.

i hate powerstrike, its not even like a love hate thing, shes horribly written and doesnt deserve redemption. on the other hand, i love and hate vicious, she has so much more depths and UGHH the writing in IHS really tugs at my heart, its just so good.

apologies for the ramble, im really looking forward to see where this story goes <3

Thank you so so much, anon!

And yeah, even though Powerstrike was "nice" to Nothing for all but five seconds, we just had to have the insinuation that having a dead kid is better than having a disabled one.

And then there's a whole damned speech in Episode 5, which would absolutely be indefensible in any other circumstance but, for whatever reason, MP fans seem to somehow think Powerstrike's speech somehow translates to her being a victim as well, even though whatever victimhood she has is never explored. She's only shown being quite content with the so-called 'cult' she's stuck in, having positive interactions with Quickmane and so on.

She never defends her disabled daughter (because if she truly cared about Nothing, why didn't she defend her from Quickmane in Episode 5?) nor her remaining son. She also never mentions her dead mate and son once, even though she's shown mourning for her mother, who had not only lived a full life but treated her family as ruthlessly as she did by being a religious zealot.

While the show also portrays Sharptongue as being loving and supportive to the point it completely slips under the viewer's radar, including those who say they don't like the show. Honestly, fuck both Powerstrike and Sharptongue. I can't express that enough. lol

But I feel that's purely a consequence of My Pride trying to make its characters complex and two-dimensional but thinking that a way to do that is to have character motivations that cancel each other out be present at the same time. You can't have a character be an abusive parent and be portrayed as somebody automatically worthy of redemption and 'aww, she loves her punchbag really!'.

You can't have a religious zealot who was cool with a murderer strolling into the family home and kill several members of said family "bc Pride Law lol" while also being portrayed as supportive and kind. It's not only poor writing, it's just weird as all hell.

Instead of being insecure about having 'deep' characters and trying to cram so many things into a character so that your audience doesn't 'miss the memo' (which a lot of them won't because they're not unintelligent), a lot of things can just be left unsaid and the audience can figure it out from there. Like Vicious being an abuse victim. Abuse causes a lot of psychological issues and can warp a person over time. This is very well documented. Boom. We don't really need to say or show anymore.

So, thank you very much for taking a notice, anon. It's always appreciated when these methods we use in the writing pay off! c: - RJ

[fever-fluff]

Home IV

Word count: 2.3k (not proof read)

Azriel doesn't know what to think of her, and can no longer hide from the past few months of his life. He begins to think his choice wasn't the right one... Warnings: mentions of past trauma, panic attack, violence...

(Updates will be slower after the next one or two. I'm back to college and that unfortunately takes up an ungodly amount of my time)

Part III , Part V

When Azriel saw that his shadows had slithered from where he'd hidden them under his wings, he felt his soul drop to the very bottoms of his feet. His curiosity about her had been so strong that he hadn't even needed to voice it and they were itching to feel and listen for anything they could glean from her body sitting an arms length from his.

He should have called them back, but no one had ever sensed them before, he'd done this countless times in the past to know that. But her lack of one sense had heightened the ones she had left. Fae were apex predators when the time came for them to be, but many relied on their sight too much, and he had exploited that weakness for Rhysand many times.

The tendrils that had reached for her hand and legs were practically nothing, and could pass for a light chill in the evening weather to anyone else. Their dark complexion barely noticeable to even him. But she'd noticed, even before they'd reached her, and he'd been ensnared in his misstep, needing to reveal his greatest asset.

But Cauldron, her easy demeanor. It was irritating him beyond all reason. She didn't even blink in the presence of them when he'd said it, even bringing up her hand almost knowing it'd follow, and said hello.

He couldn't understand why he was so frustrated as he watched her let them explore and return back to him in due time, their song to him sung softly of all they learned. Truly blind and light, so light like a feather. Swift power, like water - no, wind. Light, light as a feather-

He drowned it out with a rumble of a growl, they'd repeat themselves for eternity if he allowed.

"Is there a particular reason for you souring mood, Shadowsinger?" the mirth in her voice grated on him. "No, not particularly" "Then I'd be making quick work of changing it before Aodhan returns if I were you, he doesn't take well to unfriendly company." Why was she still smiling?

Aodhan had in fact made his return not long after. With a quick word of goodnight she had turned from the two on her mat and seemed to fall into quick slumber. Here, in a forest with an unknown male with unknown powers, who could easily overpower the much younger Aodhan beside him. Brien, who's name he'd learned earlier, had been circling above until she had turned in for the night and he shifted to a larger version of the feline Azriel had first seem him in, and curled himself round her small body.

Aodhan didn't seem inclined to follow her and Azriel found the thought of sleep unsavory. Since that night of Elain's confession, he'd found it hard to command and ended up hiding from his body's natural call to it. So the two sat, staring at the slowly dimming fire until his companion had tossed another log onto the embers.

Aodhan had returned to his jumpy nature leading Azriel to throw him a bone with a sharp deliver of out with it so he could contemplate in peace. "What's Prythian like?"

Of course, the male had rarely seen outside of the islands, never mind crossing the ocean to the west. "It depends, its split into courts, some seasonal, some, like mine, named after a time of the day. Each one holds certain deep magic which is controlled by the High Lords chosen by it." Aodhan mulled over his words and the two began sharing back and forth of the Fae that resided there and their customs, before naturally turning to the Night Court itself. At that, Azriel shared small snippets of truth in clipped words, barely painting a blurry picture for Aodhan to discern what his home was like., but it seemed that like everyone he knew and loved there, Aodhan was a busybody who didn't know when to stop pushing.

"Do you like it there?" Azriel bristled at the question, "why wouldn't I?"

"That's not an answer." Mother, he was so much worse. He shot to his feet as crossed to the opposite side of the fire, shooting "it's the only answer you're getting" over his shoulder.

Truth was, as Azriel tried to find a half decent position to rest, that he didn't have an answer. He loved his brothers, loved Feyre and Mor. He respected Nesta and Amren and Elain he- his mind didn't allow him to delve into thoughts of that. Did he like it there?

If you had asked him that question 60 years ago, his answer would be yes, he did. He had everything he needed, felt like he had a place in the world Rhys was making. He felt wanted. But with everything that had happened, he hadn't thought of what he'd wanted for so long. Rhys found Feyre, Cassian was tormented by Nesta, even Amren had hoarded a pretty male into her collection of beautiful things. Azriel had... no one.

Trying not to dwell on the thoughts, he closed his eyes in surrender to sleep, hoping it would be better than reality for a moment.

Everything was pitch black, there was no light coming from anywhere, and yet Azriel looked to his hands and could see them. But there weren't his, at least they hadn't been for centuries. They were small, red and shaking as they'd been in his youth after his half brothers' experiment. He called to his shadows but none answered in the depths of the void around him. Something else did.

He could hear them, the voices. Ones that sounded like Rhys, Cassian, his mother. But what they were saying didn't seem like them. Poor little Azriel, all alone in the world with no one on his side. The voices melted together slowly, grating on every nerve in Azriel's young body. What will you do now little Bastard? Not even Elain wants you, how could you think we'd ever wanted you? You shouldn't be here, should've stayed in the flames.

Panic squeezed Azriel's chest, locking his breath away and left him grasping at his neck, clawing as if he'd be able to breathe again if he could just rip it open.

Why do you think we sent you away? We don't want you here, there is no place for you in this world. No place for a brute who's only talent is killing and maiming on someone else's orders.

He tried to block it out, to remember his family, his true family. They wouldn't want this for him, they -

Do you truly believe that? You were just a dog leashed long enough to do the work none of us wanted to soil our hands with. What use are you now that peace overrules war? You are violence Azriel, cold violence and secrets no one needs getting out. You're a hindrance to this peace we want, you're nothing.

No, no, it wasn't true. Azriel. His family still needed him, Rhys still needed him-

Really? Then why are you here, and not with him?

Azriel couldn't breathe, Azriel and no matter how much he tore at his neck the skin just wouldn't break. Azriel He was choking, on the lost air and the words bouncing in the cold around him. Azriel Why, why was he fighting it? Azriel He was alone, why was he still tryin-

"Azriel!"

His hand shot out on instinct, pure unbridled instinct as he gripped something. Truth-teller in the other hand just as fast and pressed against something soft, breakable. Azriel couldn't see past the dots of black in his vision, couldn't hear over the roaring in his ears for precious seconds until he picked up on something muffled in it all. Something soft and firm, even - a voice.

"You're in the forest north of Indere, you're heading for Inis Gaoithe. You travel with two others, can you remember their names?" Azriel could finally look to her and the blade he pressed to her neck that had pulled a crimson bead from the flesh with the pressure he held it with. Nodding, he repeated her name and Aodhan's, slowly easing his grip on her arm and taking away the steel as his breathing evened.

She nodded back to him, slowly falling back on her knees and loosing a breath she must have been holding in fear of splitting herself anymore on the blade. The cut was shallow, and had already healed over, but the smear of red was still there and Azriel felt dread creep up his spine at how close he had been to slicing her neck in pure panic.

She stood slowly and offered him a hand, helping him from where he sat. Brien was nowhere to be found, and Aodhan slept undisturbed at the opposite side of the long dead fire. How had he not-

"He didn't hear a thing, I made sure of it." Her voice cut through his thoughts once again, and although he wanted to ask how, he just nodded and gulped down the air around him. "There's a stream not too far from us, come." She didn't wait for his reply and began walking, not looking to see him following.

The cool water pulled him out of the last dregs of shock that sat on his mind while he watched her clean the blood from her neck. She sat back, silent, and he'd cleaned his neck and hands of the sweat and dirt. "Wash your blade as well." there was no room to argue that he had already wiped it before he'd replaced into the sheath at his side. And her tone suggested he should do as she said or there'd be hel to pay.

He couldn't look at her, not with the shame that had been building in him for quite some time now, as he apologised. "Why are you apologising?"

Heat burned on the back of his neck, "I shouldn't have grabbed at you like that. I hurt you and I'm sor-"

"Stop."

She moved to his side, and turned his face towards her with a strength he didn't know she would possess. "Do not apologise for that. I put myself there knowing there could be a consequence for waking you up like that. I chose to take that risk. Do not think me a fool who doesn't know that you are capable of using instinct to ensure your survival in a time of panic." He wanted to argue, to refuse what she was saying. But wasn't it true? He was panicking, and in blind fear of himself had done what had been instilled in him as a boy - to react. It didn't make his actions right, but it didn't make them wrong either. All he could do was tear his face from her hand and stare at the water running lazily beneath him.

She was already rising to return when she spoke again. "The sun won't be up for a few more hours, I'll send Brien for you when we need to set off again." Some part of him was grateful that she had not pressed him to return with her, but it was small and he did not answer her. It seemed she didn't expect one as she was already finding her way back to their temporary camp.

He hadn't moved from the stream when the familiar came from him. Barely felt himself lift and slowly walk back with the feline slightly ahead. The words he'd heard from the voices sat heavy in his mind the entire journey that day, even Aodhan steered clear of him. They'd have half a day's travel left when they'd stop to camp the following night, and Azriel was no better than when he'd been in the morning.

The question of why had swallowed him. Why was he here? Why had everything come to this? Why wasn't he enough for Elain? Why had she put herself in danger to pull him from his own plagued mind?

Azriel was supposed to be the one with the answers, and yet they evaded him like they didn't even exist.

He had no reasoning, no logic to pull him from this. He didn't even know if he'd find them in his near future. Did he even want these answers?

She'd barely spoken a word to him after the stream, and when there was cause for conversation, it was light and brief. She didn't flit around him as if he would crack, but seemed to distance herself to give him space. He didn't know how he felt about it. He couldn't feel anything beyond the self loathing eating at him slowly. Maybe he was wrong, that he wouldn't be able to do this. He could barely hold himself together, how could he convince a world separated from his for so long to rejoin it? He should just leave at the first chance he got, forget about this whole self righteous bullshit.

But as if sensing his decision Brien had not left his side like he was to keep watch over him, like a fawn ready to dart at the first smell of danger. He walked everywhere Azriel walked, and flew so close he was sure the familiar would perch itself on his back and mooch off him the rest of the way. She was holding him to his word whether he liked it or not.

They carried on. At the first sign of the coast, Azriel wondered if he had imposed himself to imprisonment on the islands barely visible over the crashing and swelling of waves so high they looked to swallow the horizon whole.

TAGLIST @mis-lil-red , @justdreamstars , @florencemtrash

[blabberoo]

You know, it makes sense why so many people love your art.

Just speaking from my own experience, I’m only really familiar with Hyper Light Drifter, and tangentially familiar with Dead Cells. I scrolled through your work because I really like how you handle line weight and color. I stuck around because I enjoy your writing style and the story concepts you come up with for these characters. You put genuine thought into the interactions you’re creating and that’s what makes it interesting.

Hell the first time I said “Goddamn” aloud when looking at you art was that line from V1 asking the Drifter if there was an afterlife, correcting itself, and specifically asking if the Drifter has an afterlife waiting for him.

That’s a raw ass line! The concept of a murder robot that knows for a fact the afterlife is real but not if you personally get one? Terrifying concept! Love it!

This was also literally the first time I’d ever heard of Ultrakill. Neat game, I dig the premise.

My point being, you come up with some really damn interesting concepts and then have the skills to execute those ideas.

I have almost no idea what’s going on otherwise, but I’m a fan of the silly bits regardless.

I am also super curious what your digital art process looks like

OHHH???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Man. I am. Speechless. This is insane. This truly means a lot. Im really happy that you liked all of that and the character interactions. I've always thought of headcanons for these characters with their personalities and how their respective environment shaped them, and ive always loved it when I see their personalities interact and clash with one another.

The three of them having to deal with death in such a different way is such an interesting concept to me and i inhale that dynamic.

What I also aimed to achieve when I make these comics is that even people outside of it would enjoy these characters and their dynamic :D because I really just do love writing a story about them.

Thank you so much!! You made me ramble about these guys hahhaaha

Also, not much really happens during art process because my attention span is sometimes too short to make a much proper art Lmaoo. I mostly use 2 layers, for the very sketchy lineart and flat colors. And i sometimes add airbrush for lighting or mood. 👍

[shoyosoneandonlywife]

INCOMING RANT

Yoshida shoyo should be treated as 1 whole man rather than 2 distinct characters.

(with manga panels and light analysis)

I will be exploring multiple personality disorder to a certain extent and the pivotal role it plays on his character as well as in gintama.

when I see people treating this man like he's twins or just legitimately viewing this man as two different people as if it is the right interpretation genuinely gets me tweaking so I need to put forward the facts of my case your honour😭😭😭

RANT BELOW:

I have to get this off my chest, Utsuro and Shoyo are two different PERSONALITIES, not two different men. Up until now, about like 50% of the fandom treat him as if he's two whole separate beings which is completely WRONG AND DUMB. He has multiple personality disorder, which is the reason why he started a whole ass school for free, but also somehow wanted to destroy the world. Why? Because he's mentally deranged, are you with me?

And these are the same people, the ones that see him as two different characters, sometimes ship these two personalities together, even that is not that important but what's more pressing is that ive seen them end up condoning the problematic ships in the fandom, like you just got to ship him with someone and they end up shipping him with his students from Shoka Sonjuku.💀

I'm including all of his disciples from oboro all the way to nobume, he has played parental figure for all of them.

Even though he may have disappeared for around a decade or a lil more, and then returned after they've all grown into adults, it doesn't change the fact that he played a crucial role in raising and influencing the ways they view the world as a parent would.

I'm emphasising on this because ive seen mostly oboro and gintoki as the victims, just because oboro may be a little near to a decade older than the rest of his shoka sonjuku juniors does not mean he was way more mature

Oboro was as young as gintoki when he had met shoyo and had since been learning from shoyo as his teacher/parent.

(oboro is technically blood related to him too since he had shared his blood the moment he saw oboro was dying so that amounts to accepting oboro as his son to me🤷🏽‍♀️ I said the truth didnt I)

Further emphasis on the fact that it was canonically discussed that Utsuro is a grandpa even to incredibly old geezers and he sees them as youngsters, so his shoka sonjuku disciples are technically fetuses to him😭😭😭

This is a man that cannot be shipped with anyone that's just the type of character that he is. I'm not even biased if you look at it from a general perspective you have no choice but to agree.

This particular idea/headcanon or whatever the fuck you wanna call, is a very common conception and dulls HIS(SINGULAR) character to a large extent. Seeing him as the character that he truly is, a mentally ill man that has a profound amount of knowledge, yet is unable to heal himself would make someone appreciate gintama even more, for its habit to cover many topics that are diverse in it.

A man who is torn WITHIN HIMSELF WE ARE SEEING IT THROUGHOUT GINTAMA AND IT GETS KNOCKED INTO OUR HEADS ALL OF THE TIME. And I promise you his character will appear to be much more dynamic, amazing and explosive I guarantee it.

I'm being so honest when I say that seeing him as an individual who's, like, not okay in the head, and how he went about handling these issues, is a much more fun and interesting perspective as well, in my opinion.

But I think a lot of people can't wrap their head around the fact that he has multiple personality disorder. I've seen a lot of people say, "oh, he's a bad character, his character doesn't make sense, especially when he comes back as a villain." However it's understandable since Multiple personality disorder is a very complex and tricky issue to understand

To the theories that Utsuro's plot and actions don't make sense, YES it doesn't make sense, and it doesn't make sense because he's unpredictable. Why? Because he's not okay psychologically and psychological imbalance can lead to irrational decisions(to put it in a summary)

Multiple personality disorder is one of the disorders that's considered like the apex of instability because the person themselves do not have control over it, due to how affected the person has been. And MPD IS ALSO UNPREDICTABLE ASH.

(Shoyo did claim he was planning to run away for a while to Oboro but a man that's been running this organisation for centuries suddenly taking this decision in a span of a few short years can contribute to this MPD)

Even the characters in the show couldn't tell what he was gonna do at all until the end(at least up till the finale). They couldn't tell what he was gonna do. Why? Because he's unstable and, the distinct contrast between the era where he was their Sensei to becoming the destroyer of the universe is like a slap to the face.

He's not okay in any sort of way, actually, which is why he's more traumatized than the average human could ever be. So it makes sense that he's very unpredictable and his actions don't make sense.

His whole character is actually a genius, sorachi was cooking when he introduced him because there are so many underlying facts that stem out to many aspects surrounding human suffering all the way till the cycle of life that intertwine with his character

AND so much intricacies to the way his character is shaped, which is considered complex. THAT is the reason why he's underrated and half of the time people call him a bad character/two different people because they have zero media literacy and they won't accept anything else beyond what they already know

(for example the variety and different ways psychological repression can be expressed)

I just know the reason he is not as famous or talked about often like aizen, sukuna, johan etc is because of his complications and so many many many aspects to his character that needs more research and more observation to be understood. The perplexity in this aspect of his contributes to him being overshadowed and underrated.

These mentioned characters are amazing villains in and of themselves but what makes utsuro specifically stand apart is his absurd backstory and the disorder that he had developed due to said past lives. It's not common for us to see villains with multiple personality disorder is it?

Hence my reason as to why people should probably take more time to understand his character, scratch that if you just watched it with an open mind at first I think you'll get his character's purpose and actions fast enough.

The same applies for gintama as a whole, the best way to watch it is with an open and empty mind, especially so that you won't miss the nuances and other areas that build gintama's characters.

In this case Shoyo requires us to really observe his actions and be able to understand why he is taking such drastic and contradictory measures no matter what he does.

It's just that Sorachi never really bothers to tell it to our faces or really jumbles it up here and there and we're left to pick up the puzzle pieces😭

E.g. The finale where it was only confirmed in an interview that it was takasugi reborn and it has other metaphors in it as well or smth😭

Shoyo's backstory and trauma leading which ultimately lead to the state of his psychological state:

When some people are like, "yeah, yeah, it's just two different characters". It takes away a really important aspect of his character. Believe me or not, his mental illness plays a really important role in the major events of Gintama.

That's due to the fact that THIS IS THE SAME MAN, THE ONE AND ONLY ONE, that raised the main characters and antagonists of the show, but also was the one who committed mass genocide, wanted to destroy the universe, etc. Why? Because of his multiple personality disorder.(STAY WITH ME)

And why did this MPD come about? Because of his extreme suffering and trauma, And to cope with that, he got MPD. So when people are like, "yeah, it's just two different people". You're missing an extremely vital part to his character,

and putting up a wall from understanding the various intricacies to his characterization including when you treat this mentioned miserable man like he's split into half and somehow is a pair of twins now like be fr w me💀

(it is much less entertaining than how his character is actually portrayed and it ruins his character, it dumbs down the unique qualities of him and lumps him in with the rest of some mediocre villains in shonen manga.)

(It somehow also dims the fun and variety of gintama and majorly makes shoyo ooc, like I said, seeing his character the way he has been given is without a doubt the one and only best way to view him and it's much more fulfilling)

Sorachi himself has joked about how this one man's confusing character can be mistaken as two different people due to their contrasting traits, but as explained in this panel as well,

in any media actually a character with MPD is often treated as if the person is two separate entities for a more easier understanding and mostly comic relief (in this instance as well in the 3-z segment). However it is still enforced that these oddly contrasting sides came from one singular brain, it is already enforced in the very same sentence of this dialogue in the panel shown above as well.

Sorachi already summarizes up his whole characters misconception in that dialogue for you 😭 Bro really wrapped it all up with an abrupt bang

it's just one singular man, who has multiple personality, or in this case just two personalities warring with each other that leads to the self sabotage hes doing rn in this panel😭😭😭

it is One man who has split his mind into many segments which have manifested to become two polar opposites of his mind, yet both are HIS thoughts,emotions and ideals.

To help provide an easier understanding,

The average human has many voices running in their minds, and are always contradicting one another like there are different personas living in our heads, however it is to a controlled level and we are able to distinguish these to a certain extent when making decisions and taking actions.

Multiple personality disorder stems from that same phenomena of the brain but multiplied by many many more folds due to psychological trauma, PTSD, and repression of emotions as a method to cope with said trauma

✯Yoshida shoyo is without a doubt an S tier character and villain as well

Hmmm not to be political or anything😭, but you're really undervaluing and undermining the issues of someone who's extremely mentally ill and deranged😟, and the fact such individuals need professional help to overcome their trauma and recover.

But then you're just twisting this problem into your own superficial convenience at the expense of an incredibly full-fledged character and a unique characterization. I truly think some media which has been as long-standing and entertaining as gintama should be appreciated at a straightforward and honest level.

Especially when the topic touches on mental health and trauma, trauma recovery. Gintama covers a lot of other topics like LGBTQ, beauty standards, Social outcasting, etc as well and I don't see us talking too much about it.

However I also think sorachi himself also could have dealt with the topics more extensively instead of glossing over in some places, still, this is mostly a comedy manga and is for shits and giggles, so I can't really expect a thorough run through of every topic covered. This can also be seen when he has many side characters that are loved but we still did not get enough screentime of time.

E.g. Katsura, Sakamoto, Nobume etc

Open your eyes and process the information you're receiving please🙄. Blatant disregard of the trauma here can come off as inconsiderate and insensitive, you're just treating him as two whole different people, like he's possessed or something, your honour.🤨

(Very derogatory to people affected by MPD by rejecting their inner turmoil as just another human being coming from them out of nowhere instead of addressing the complexities of the human brain that are still yet to be uncovered)

This isn't the 16th century where mental illness is treated like you've got a ghost in you or you've secretly been replaced by a clone.

This is NOT a yuji and Sukuna situation. Hes just one man, one soul, one mind, that mind is just broken into many pieces(personalities), because of his extreme suffering.

So please understand that okay just appreciate the mentally ill men representation smfh. I LOVE BROKEN TRAUMATISED MEN REPRESENTATION PLEASE

***IMPORTANT NOTE

TO CLARIFY multiple personality comes under dissociative disorders, considering how his life was, his mind coping with his trauma using this method makes the most sense

Of course trauma can cause many disorders like schizophrenia and what not, but this kind of like the apex of it

Makes sense given the amount of unimaginable horrors he has been put through. Therefore to put it simply he's completely torn within himself, but its just one source NOT a whole new other identity/man coming outta nowhere

And that same persona is DEFINITELY NOT something that shoyo himself cannot understand, he VERY WELL knows himself and all his different identities

(As shown when he clearly has his memories with all of his shoka sonjuku disciples even when he became utsuro) -> e.g. uses his past personification and sayings to taunt gintoki during a fight

He is completely aware of his nature, its just out of his control because of all the overwhelming psychological trauma (this leading to the reason on why he switched back to utsuro after his execution)

NOTE: MY ANALYSIS POST ON WHY SHOYO IS A VIRGIN ALSO COVERS THIS TOPIC TO AN EXTENT IT CAN HELP GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING THATS ALL BYE BYE GO CHECK IT OUT

[youracebuddy]

A (Platonic) Spaghetti Date With Papyrus

~

It had been a eventful week ever since the monsters had escaped from the underground, and gotten settled into their much needed home. And, by some crazy coincidence, they all ended up being taken under the wing of the same apartment complex that you lived in. It did make sense, as the owner was a very heartfelt and gentle person. It was a pleasant surprise to hear that they would all be living in the same place that you were, and even more so to see just how wonderful they all were.

‘Monsters’ doesn’t feel like a very fitting term for them, as they all are truly unique, talented, and loving creatures that you had instantly grown attached to. A motherly goat named ‘Toriel’ who you had baked many a pies with, a sweet, nerdy lizard named ‘Alphys’ who ranted to you about anime, a strong, spunky fish named ‘Undyne’ who helped you learn how to wield a SWORD of all things, and countless more. But, there was one that stuck out to you in particular. There was a skeleton named ‘Sans’ who constantly joked, and was overall a chill guy. You had instantly hit it off with him, and often found yourself sticking by his side. You couldn’t help it- you had a massive crush on him found him fun to be around.

During said time, you had heard him mention his brother ‘Papyrus’ a fair amount. He wanted you to meet him, as he is the coolest guy he knows. You decided to take him up on his offer, as you wanted to get closer to him, and knowing his family was a great way to do so. Besides, if everything goes well, you might also make a friend along the way! You were pulled out of your thoughts when sans’ familiar voice rang through the hall, bringing you back to the present.

You had agreed to meet Papyrus today, and sans had led you back to their shared apartment for the two of you to properly meet. “so, here’s me and pap’s apartment. it should be your first time seeing it, so it would be great if you could pardon any mess.” You quickly nodded at his words, understanding completely why it might be messy in the first place. Sans reached out and rang the doorbell, and in what felt like a flash, the door swung wide open. It revealed a lanky skeleton in its wake, sporting a wide smile and festive costume.

He let out a dramatic gasp at the sight of you, as if he didn’t believe that his brother managed to finally bring you to meet him. He spoke, his smile only growing by the second. “OH, HUMAN! IVE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU FROM MY FRIENDS, AND ITS WONDERFUL TO FINALLY MEET YOU!” His voice loud yet unthreatening. “COME, LET’S NOT WASTE ANY TIME!” He declared, soon leading you back in the apartment with him. Despite the two of them only moving in recently, their home was practically spotless, apart from a strange pile of socks in one corner. It was filled to the brim with warmth, and was a great documentation of their personalities.

Your observation came to a halt when Papyrus paused his steps, throwing out his arm to gesture to the kitchen. “AS TRADITION WHEN I MEET A NEW FRIEND, WE SHALL ENGAGE IN THE GREATEST BONDING ACTIVITY THERE IS: MAKING SPAGHETTI!” As soon as he finished speaking, he gently nudged you into the kitchen, and rushed over to the cabinets. “FIRST, WE MUST PREPARE THE INGREDIENTS. HUMAN, PLEASE GET THE SPAGHETTI SAUCE OUT OF THE CABINETS WHEN I SEARCH FOR THE NOODLES.” He ordered, which you quickly obliged to.

You decided to look underneath the closest cabinet first, which was underneath the sink. When you propped it open, you were met with a cartoonish, white dog, happily snoozing away with a bone in its paws. Deciding not to question how it got there, you moved on to the next one. It was filled to the brim with ketchup bottles, with the amount of ketchup left in them varying. Now praying that you wouldn’t waste any more time, you opened one last cabinet. Luckily, it had exactly what you needed! More than enough, to be exact; it was almost as if sans and papyrus lived strictly off of spaghetti and ketchup.

You decided to not ask of the fact, and grabbed the amount of sauce that you usually used in your recipe. When Papyrus saw that you had only grabbed one jar, his expression filled with confusion. “FRIEND, WHY DID YOU ONLY GRAB ONE JAR? BACK IN THE UNDERGROUND, WE ALWAYS USED ENOUGH TO COVER THE NOODLES COMPLETELY!” He asked, which made you return his same misunderstanding. “You used enough to cover all of the pasta? In my family’s recipe, we usually only use one.” After a moment of consideration, his smile remained, now even wider than before. “WELL, I HAVE YET TO TRY OUT SPAGHETTI THAT WAY! HOW ABOUT WE USE YOUR RECIPE THIS TIME?”

“That sounds good with me!” You spoke, holding up a hand to give him a high-five in affirmation. He seemed to be giddy at the opportunity, and was fast to return the high-five. You couldn’t help but smile just a bit more at the sight, as his joyous and upbeat mood was incredibly infectious. With a skip in his step, he went off to fetch a pot and water. When he returned, you set it on the stove, and turned up the heat to boiling. In the meantime while waiting for it to boil, you turned back to Papyrus to see if he had any questions. He did. “SO, YOU DON’T TURN UP THE TEMPERATURE ALL THE WAY AS WELL. INTERESTING!” He chimed, seemingly intrigued at the thought. “WE JUST TURNED IT UP ALL THE WAY, SO IT WOULD COOK FASTER!”

“Well, that certainly may work, but my family prefers to take our time while baking.” With the water up to a boil, you carefully poured in the raw noodles. After getting them all in the pot, you made sure to fold them all in, and occasionally stir and scrape the pot. You glanced over to papyrus once more to see if anything was new, but he seemed to know exactly what you were doing. Despite his unique cooking methods, he still seemed to know his way around making spaghetti. To fill the silence as the noodles cooked, you decided to bring up how much you loved their house interior. “By the way, I absolutely love how you decorated this place! It’s simple and homey, but bursting at the seams with personality. I might have to invite you two over to help with my apartment sometime!”

“WHY, THANK YOU FRIEND! IM TRULY FLATTERED TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN UNDERSTAND THE AMOUNT OF WORK THAT I PUT IN TO DESIGNING THIS PLACE. BUT, IT’S SO ANNOYING TO HAVE-“ “The pile of socks? Did Sans do that?” Papyrus simply sighed and nodded. “YES, HE DID. FOR SOME REASON, MY LAZY BROTHER LOVES TO LEAVE HIS SOCKS AROUND THE HOUSE. HE WON’T CLEAN IT UP, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I ASK!” He cried, clearly tired from having to deal with this for so long. You didn’t even have to ask why he didn’t want to pick them up himself- it was clear it was a sibling thing.

You pondered over his situation for a moment, before speaking up. “Well… what if I ask him to do that? We get along pretty well, so maybe he’ll listen to me?” Papyrus nodded, sighing yet again. “…WELL, IT’S WORTH A SHOT.” With his approval, you turned away from your spaghetti to call out to Sans. “Hey, sans?” “yeah?” “Can you pick up your socks?” “oh, sure.” You then turned back to Papyrus, a smug expression on your face. It was quickly wiped away when you saw just how shocked Papyrus was, looking at you as if you had just said that the sky was green. You worried that his jaw would physically fall off if he opened it any further.

“Uh… Papyrus? Is everything okay?” He suddenly stepped forward and grabbed you by the shoulders, his eyes filled with glee. “HUMAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!” He attempted to whisper, barely keeping his excitement down. “….No?” He only got more excited from your answer, trying to conceal his giggles but failing horribly. “SANS ONLY LISTENS TO PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT, BUT HE STILL WON’T DO A LOT OF THINGS FOR US. IF HE’S WILLING TO PICK UP HIS SOCKS FOR YOU, HE MUST BE REALLY FOND OF YOU!”

Your own mood multiplied tenfold at his words, and you didn’t even have to look at a mirror to know that there was a giant smile painted across your face. You had to bite down on your tongue to stop yourself from giggling like a schoolgirl, forcing your brain to remember the task at hand: spaghetti.

You turned back to the boiling noodles, which luckily seemed to be just about done. You put all of your focus into not shaking with sheer joy, not wanting your feelings to get in the way of your meal. Ignoring Papyrus’ continued giggles at how terrible you were at hiding your euphoria, you carefully picked up the pot, and separated the boiling water from the cooked noodles. With the main part of the dish done, the rest was a breeze to get through.

with the help of papyrus for time’s sake, you dished up a serving of spaghetti for you, Papyrus, and Sans, giving each a healthy amount of sauce and parmesan cheese. Now, all you needed was a taste tester. You called out to Sans once more, with Papyrus waiting eagerly at your side. “Sans, would you like to be the first one to make the spaghetti that me and Papyrus made?” “sure.” Before you could ask him to come to the kitchen, he suddenly materialized in front of the two of you with a small thunk . You stared at him in amazement, glancing over to papyrus to see if he knew what was going on.

“OH? THAT’S JUST SANS BEING LAZY! YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT BE WOULD USE HIS MAGIC TO BE PRODUCTIVE, BUT INSTEAD, WE GET THIS.” “… Good to know. ” You mumbled. Shifting your attention back to Sans, you reached out and gingerly pushed a plate towards him. “Here. It will probably taste a bit different from papyrus’s spaghetti, as it’s my own recipe. But, he did help me with making it!” You explained, feeling your heart tighten in anxiety. You knew that Sans wasn’t exactly a picky eater, and he probably didn’t care how it would taste, but you still hoped that he would enjoy it.

Sans took a nearby fork and spoon, scooped up a large heaping of spaghetti, and brought it in front of his teeth. A moment later, the food on his fork vanished. You quickly stopped your brain from trying to figure out how on earth that worked, not wanting to confuse yourself even further. A few seconds ticked by, and sans’ expression suddenly lit up like the sun appearing from behind a cloud. “its… good. ” He whispered, his smile widening in surprise. He happily started to shovel the rest into his mouth, not caring the least about table manners.

You let out a stifled laugh at the sight, overjoyed that he loved it so much. You stepped back from him and turned to papyrus, who was slowly shaking his head in disapproval at the sight. You gestured to his own plate, wanting to see his reaction to eating it as well. He looked away from his brother and nodded at you, picking back up his own plate and politely taking a bite of his own. He immediately slammed the plate back down, with such force that it was nothing short of a miracle that it didn’t break.

His expression was filled with a cartoonish sort of shock and joy, which warmed your heart to the very core. He turned his whole body to you, and pulled you into a bone-shattering hug. “HUMAN! WHY, THIS IS THE BEST SPAGHETTI THAT I EVER HAD! HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU NOT A PROFESSIONAL CHEF?!” He shouted, his eyes shimmering with pride. You spoke in a wheeze, bringing a hand up to weakly pat him on the back.

“I-It’s just a hobby that I have, but thank you so much for trying it! B-But… can you please be a bit more gentle?…” Papyrus immediately loosened his grip at your words, his head falling down in apology. “OH, IM SO SORRY FRIEND! I FORGET HOW DELICATE HUMANS CAN BE SOMETIMES.” He sighed, searching your expression for forgiveness. When it was instantly found, his bubbly personality bubbled back up to the surface. “NOW, LETS BAKE EVERYTHING THAT WE CAN!” “Oh, HELL YEAH!” You cheered, bolting back into the kitchen alongside him. The air was filled with laughter, and in that moment, you knew that you made a friend for a lifetime.

…

“You know, you really weren’t lying about your brother being cool!” You spoke, your joyful words echoing down the long hallways of the apartment complex. You had ended up baking the whole day with Papyrus, and quickly learned how pleasant he was to be around. “He really does know a lot about cooking, but he’s a bit intense while doing so. I mean, I can’t blame him for it at all when he had Undyne as his teacher. But hopefully he’ll adapt to more precise ways with time!”

“hey, if it means i can have more of your food, feel free to cook for us anytime. it’ll help papy too.” sans spoke, shooting you a playful smile. You responded with a chorus of giggles, flattered that he loved your cooking so much. “I’m happy to have you two over anytime, whether it be for a meal or snack! You can also just stop by to say hi too, you know.” “really? thanks, pal. its awfully nice of you to do that for little old me and my brother.” He spoke, his perma-smile widening further.

“Aw, you’re cool too! Your puns are funny, you’re really relaxed, and you offered to walk me back to my apartment!” You chimed in, gently pushing against his untrue claim. He laughed in response, fondly shaking his head. “whatever you say, pal.” He mumbled, looking around to see if your apartment was in sight. Luckily, it appeared to be just a couple of steps away. He stopped in place, and gestured to it with a small tilt of his skull. “well, there’s your apartment. goodnight.” And without a second thought, he turned back around on his heels and prepared to teleport back to Papyrus.

But before he could vanish, you rushed towards him and wrapped him in a gentle hug from behind. “Hang on just a moment, please! I gave your brother plenty of hugs today, so it’s only fair if I give you one as well.” You whispered, wanting him to not be left out. He froze in surprise, as being hugged was clearly the one thing he did not expect from the day. After a moment of silence between the two of you, he turned around, and silently returned the embrace. He let out a sigh that was barely above a whisper, not at all surprised by your shenanigans.

“… im going to be in for a lot now that you’re friends with papy, huh?” “You betcha.” You mumbled in response, holding him close for a heartbeat longer before letting go. “I’ll see you around, my bone-friend.” “heh. you too, kiddo.” And with that, he vanished off into the night. You stood outside of your apartment for a moment longer, smiling back at the thought of what happened today. When your heart had its fill, you silently slipped back into your apartment to rest for tomorrow. You didn’t know what would happen, but you knew that it was all going to be alright.

~

Hiii!!! Thank you so much for reading this to the end- it means the world to me! 🥹 If you want to read or save this on A03, you can find the link here!

[daily-midori-posting]

Shadow & Claw (and why you NEED to read this book[s?])

Im gonna do a bunch of spoilers so just uhh read the book and THEN come here and read my super cool ideas please?

There are many, many reasons this book is excellent. When im reading, one of my (personal) favorite things is worldbuilding. For some reason, seeing the inner complexities of an unfamiliar but consistent world is just so fascinating for me, and Wolfe DELIVERS. The sci-fi/ fantasy fusion environment is so engrossing, and trying to reason out what Severian is actually seeing is consistently entertaining. But thats not the only reason that this book stuck with me. There are two scenes that are truly very special to me, because they feel to me so HUMAN in a way a lot of other media i interact with doesnt. And HUMAN in such a pinpoint accurate way i feel like it calls me out. I need to write this for myself, because i fear otherwise this book wont leave me. I doubt it will even if i do.

The first 100 or so pages of this book set up Severian's background and conflict. As an apprentice torturer he is assigned to care for a chatelaine, Ostensibly a form of noble women. She is sent down to the torturer's dungeon as a result of conflict between a rebel and the king, and so although she is innocent she currently sits as a pawn in said dungeon in an attempt to lure out said rebels. She believes that she will be let out when its over. Severian knows better but doesnt say. This is the conflict that comes to define Severian and the chatelaine's awkward relationship. Severian falls in love and comes to greatly value the time he spends with her, but also knows how this will end. This culminates in a scene i empathize with in a way i havnt really seen otherwise. The chatelaine is being brought to be tortured. Severian and the head torturer are to bring her up. The whole walk, Severian (or the Severian in the future writing this) thinks on how to save her from the awful fate about to befall her. Hell use his knife, hell kill his friends. hell brake her out. Itll be a rough time, but its worth it. She is put in the device. He tells her that it will kill her in 30 days. He lets her kill herself to avoid that slow creeping death. This action gets him expelled, and so in the end he still loses his friends and home. It was for nothing, and he knew that.

Severian always knew more. She may have been older, and wiser, and had more knowledge. But Severian always knew more. He knew how this was going to end. And he pariticipated in it anyways. The cognitive dissonance with the scene in which he contemplates her freedom only to kill her is an example of something i so often feel i do. Its something ive never seen put into writing well. Its beautiful.

The second scene that made me fall in love with this book is much later. And really, its two scenes but you cant have one without the other. The first is a fascinatingly surreal piece of worldbuilding, and its done very well. Severian consumes something which gives him every memory that the chatelaine he loved had. And this recreates her, in a sense. Severian gains ALL of her lived experiences, and he becomes her. We are no more than what we have lived, and so Severian is now two people, at least for a while. He describes with lurid detail how he and the chatelaine love and interact and are together, not as one mind but as two now one, and that it didnt make sense and that they didnt care. It was also beautiful. This is not the scene that stuck with me, however much i liked it. No, my favorite scene in the book comes later as a result of that. As time passes, the chatelaine's memories fade. Severian becomes Severian again, more or less. But as he sleeps in a dungeon in the palace that the chatelaine grew up in, he experiences a "state posing as sleeping". This is not a dream. The chatelaines memories are the only ones present during this time. And so she begins to wander around the palace, baffled as too where she is. She describes the environment differently, given she understands it in a way Severian does not. She looks at her hands. They are wrong. She comes to the lock and realizes shes in the dungeon (she does not call it the dungeon) when suddenly. ... Severian looks around. There is a little girl there. She asks where the women went. She tells Severian that she knew there was a women by the way she walked, which was all she could see in the dark. Severian realizes what has happened. He leaves.

I cant explain how much that scene spoke to me. It is so BRILLIANTLY crafted, this smooth transition (no pun intended) from Severian to the chatelaine's perspective is so well done, the mild confusion but not outright horror as the reality of the situation has not set in for the chatelaine, the realization and acknowledgement but no direct confirmation by Severian. her hands. She just couldnt understand what was wrong with her hands. Sometimes i wish my self to be like the chatelaine, but in know myself to be like Severian. Knowing, but never changing, never acting.

I have a lot of thinking to do. This book makes me think. And i love it

[neoarchipelago]

tw for rape and sorta mentions of suicide (just basically saying kys in context ) for those very sensitive or triggered by these!!

but like i went through all the posts i could find and they never said anything bad about non con or dubcon she said rape fics were bad- and the point of her being a “hypocrite” for writing dubcon confuses me as why would someone who didnt support that stuff write it? it doesn’t make sense to me. i understand not liking her point on the kys bit but you guys got really hung up on it and completely missed the point of it about literal rape being romanticized and used as a fetish, not noncon and the likes used as a coping mechanism. it breaks my heart to see especially from people i supported and enjoyed a lot and got me into this community supporting rape. ive dealt with lots of sexual assults and have been raped myself a few times starting from a young age and let me tell you, its horrible. me and my boyfriend do get quite rough at times and do indulge in things like noncon- something that is used to cope and can help- and it is so much different than actually being raped. if you like it rough and dirty trust me girl i completely get it but actually being raped is the most demeaning, violating, and live devastating things that can happen- not to mention the other physical side affects of it. not trying to spread hate, maybe i should be for supporting it, but im more just sad? like seeing a community im so into and my biggest comfort character ( who also has dealt with rape) supporting and defending it all just feels like a betrayal and so debilitating. so many of my safe spaces have been ruined in a physical and metaphysical sense and it just reminds me of the sa when i was a teenager and other boys on my team (i was raped and abused by multiple wrestlers as i was the only girl in the sport in a very large state wide tournament hosted by my school) joking about it and making it not serious not taking me serious and sexualizing the whole situation and thinking i was lucky for a chick. just sickening and heartbreaking to see and the worst throwback thursday ever.

Hi love. First of all, I'm truly sorry of what happened to you. No one should ever have to go through that and you are truly amazingly strong.

Thank you for sharing your point through respect and calm.

I'd like to throw you back to this essay that explains my point of view here. Of course, it's understandable if you don't accept it. I'm not here to convince anyone on this. This is sharing a point of view.

Here, hoping that you fully understand.

This will however be the last time I'll debate on this subject, further comment or anons will simply get a copy paste.

THIS CONTAINS SA , SH AND SEXUAL CONTENT, BE CAREFUL

I- dub-con, non-con and CNC kink in fiction.

A- the place of these themes in fiction and how it separated from reality.

I think the line has to be drawn. A line people seem to forget too easily. Obviously, rape is a horrible thing. This fact has never been refuted in any fics or novels or books. No writer will ever tell you, ‘rape is awesome and soooo romantic’.

Fiction is absolutely fiction. We are aware of it. There's a big difference. This obviously something readers choose to read being aware of fiction. Being aware that the real thing is horrible. Warnings and tags are always there to avoid readers unaware of it.

B- the differences with other themes

One thing I've been asked is what kind of difference writing rape is from writing dub-con or even pedophilia?

On dub-con, the line is blurred. Softer, protagonist may be in a path where the sexual action is wanted but blocked by the mind or pushed to it by the other protagonist, forcing their own need to give in. It is still seen as rape as consent is not fully given. There's not much difference from non-con. Writers usually use this tag to avoid any triggers to people.

For pedophilia, let's see this in a more details. I think we can all agree that all these themes, dub-con, CNC, non con, always involve adults. Whatever it is the kink, or in stories, it’s adults. Adults who are aware of what sex is and what this kink it. Children should never be near any of those themes. It's not about kinks anymore, children don't have kinks.

II- the reality of voicing your opinion on internet

A- SA victims and SH victims, sexual shame

Now there's something we need to talk about. Writing theses themes are used by many as a coming mechanism. SA victims may often use these writings to help the aftermath of these events in their own life.

In the kink itself it's something that obviously causes a lot of shame towards people who are not part of it. But many things need to be said. It's a need for a control of a situation that is dangerous and traumatizing. It's a sign of truth with your partner. Fiction is a way to live that fantasy in full safety as they are clearly aware of the truth of that situation in real life.

Now the thing that has started this whole conversation was the ‘don’t forget to tell rape kink writers to off themselves’.

It is not a small detail. Not at all!

This is where fiction is separated from reality. You are telling a real person to commit a real act that could lead to fatal consequences.

Obviously I think we’re all aware that many people on this website suffer from depression, self harm tendencies and bullying. I do too. Your words matter. Trust me. We’ve seen it with Inquisitor’s death while a live TikTok.

Many other tiktokers who had helped not only spread rumors but bully the creator only realized their mistake once he killed himself.

This is a no turn back situation.

Do you think you have the guts to wake up in the morning, knowing someone killed themselves because they wrote something you were against? That you are the reason they died? Their families are grieving?

You can find an article on the CNC kink here:

-https://www.choosingtherapy.com/consensual-non-consent/

B- respect even through anger

We have established one thing. The internet is a wild, free universe. Anyone can say or write or post whatever they want.

You are free to voice out your opinion, anger amongst these binary and servers. But one thing that is not ok is the way you say it.

A point doesn't need to be full of hate or threats to be said. Especially when serious consequences could be blown by it.

Everyone has their opinion, things they don't like. You are free to avoid tags, not read, block people. Protect yourself first. But attacking isn't protecting yourself. You’re simply causing another kind of harm.

People need to own up to their words and actions.

If you tell someone to kill themselves, it's horrible. It's an actual crime. A full crime.

-

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

real! I used to love her (ts) but she feels very different than she used to. I’ve listened to phoebe bridgers a bit, she was good just not the type of music I usually listen to. Boy genius and Lucy Dacus are both amazing tho. They for sure deserved to win Aoty, or sia

sorry for how long this got??? i just started writing and oh whoops....

anyway- THATS what ive been saying about her unfortunately. its like after folklore/evermore things genuinely changed because of all the fame and popularity. people werent criticizing her anymore and instead overly praising her.

which isnt bad! i do think she deserves praise over folklore. the marketing of it being a suprise album was very clever too. but i think before those folklore there was a sense of criticism that people had with her music that kept her wanting to innovate it.

i have a strong believe that social media's algorithms are failing artists to innovate pop music in the same way than 00's pop music did just because of how much less artists have to lose now with their brandings. i once again bring up artpop by lady gaga and how much she lost for her idea???? and now??? gaga was really fucking killing it. her music had such creativity and passion put into it that you can SEE her drive in that. (also to know i didnt understand artpop as an album until MUCH later in my life)

but taylors lack of needing to innovate her sound due to her popularity and lack of criticism really has just shown how much her music has come to decline in quality. if you see the transition between fearless and speak now. those two albums. she TOOK the criticism that she "couldnt write her own songs" and literally flipped that narrative to write that entire album herself. and to me? arguably speak now is MY favorite taylor album.

and the transition between speak now to red to 1989 to reputation. theres SO much that happened in that sense of time. theres different sounds that make those albums what they are. 1989 was such a creative endeavor for her because it was her first step into pop music. i think was also her first time working with jack? now people say her decline on music is his fault as a producer but i dont believe his role had gotten bad until midnights. (i saw people discussing clairo's sling album because he produced it. but THEYRE WRONG. SLING IS GOOD AND HIS ERA OF BAD PRODUCING HAPPENED IN 2023(?) i forget when midnights came out ugh thats how many taylor albums we have gotten ffs)

but the breakaway and challenge 1989 gave really set up for reputation. she disappeared because of all the hate. and i think while I DONT SUPPORT that type of treatment because no one should go through that type of mental low... that really set her into a space to create more fluidly and with more passion?

lover- people will say was a flop.. and ill admit too... cruel summer?? shouldve never ever became a single. it was better as a hidden gem. but lover was good for the majority of songs!! there's still passion in it.

it was just that after folklore/evermore it felt very.... underwhelming and not like her at all. the quality slipped so so off the page. it just feels very recycled and unnecessary. especially like i said the fandom doesnt help with overconsumtion and she really truly should use her platform for more. the economy being in shambles and yet she wants to charge $700 for a concert ticket. (nothing bad if like someone WANTS to go but its genuinely ridiculous because inflation shouldnt BE like that).

not to even cover merch??? why is it so high?? shouldnt you want it to be accessible to your fans since you have so many?? vinyl prices are ridiculous but WHY is a hoodie almost $100. im sorry but like why 😭. cant we just charge $60 again?????

anyway all that to say that after the evermore era her music genuinely slipped off. im just thankful that the speak now rerecord didnt get BOTCHED as high hell. i have opinions about the vault tracks because the entire reason was to include tracks from that era and yet its like your smearing shit onto a perfectly wonderful painting and saying "look yall!! i added to this!!" wrong. wrong wrong wrong. idk. 1989's vault tracks just made me mad. it felt so unlike the vibe of what 1989 was???? and slut was NOT written at the time of 1989. come on.

timeless though off of the rerecord for speak now.... i will defend that one with my honor. i genuinely am glad speak now's vault tracks didnt get horrible treatment. i like that she kept the solo writing with the entire album. adding on fob and hayley's collabs as a callback because i really remember seeing videos of her singing sugar were going down and thats what you get during the speak now tour. it just felt like a full circle moment for that. fob's collab couldve been better but im glad it wasnt like... bad.

stilllll think matty's collab couldve been iconic on slut. even if i hate 1989's vault tracks as a whole... the 1975 does have good music. I KNOW. controversial yeah. anyway. hes got talent tho.

i found phoebe during 2020 when i was listening to a bunchhh of different artists (the 1975 too yeah). but punisher found me and i used to not be able to sleep due to anxiety/insomnia back then and i would listen to that album for months to just SLEEP.

i have a closeee bond with it. its like my favorite if not a close second of my favorite album of all time. its just really interesting?? also really valid that its not your type of music either. i just hold her stuff close. also did a english assignment on smoke signals' lyrics. i remember that. i got to say "fuck the cops" in the assignment and felt very proud of myself LMAO.

in terms of lucy- i for some reason never have gotten around to listening to her stuff?? even though i know i need to and should?? i just always somehow forget. many people have told me to but oh man i forget.

glad we can agree that they deserved album of the year btw.

sorry for the LENGTHY reply but yeah!! i might be forgetting to talk about something but askinf about my special interests (music) will always give you a lengthy answer.

[fearowkenya]

Winds of Change

Chapter 3: When it Rains, it Pours

The gentle babbling of running water is dissonant in Ryo's ears as everyone slowly starts to regroup, making their way toward the middle of the central path, where—his breath hitches, sharp and cold against the inside of his throat—Shuuji is staring at the ground, head bowed and shoulders taut.

What happened in the waterway left its mark on everybody, and Ryo's doing his best to watch over his friends in the aftermath. Unfortunately, he doesn't have eyes in the back of his head, and neither does Shuuji.

ao3 link in the source, extended post-chapter commentary below! (:

i had a whole bunch of stupid temporary names for each section of every chapter during earlier stages of writing to help keep track of what order the segments were in. like i said on ao3, the working title for this chapter (the middle segment, specifically) was "The Gang Misplaces The Baby". Other notable ones were "be gay do crime hold egg" (ch1 pt1), "Get Punched Idiot" (ch1 pt2), and "EGG" (ch3 pt3).

ive been sitting on all my silly kunemon dialogue for WEEKS. im still not sure how i feel about it - on one hand, i kind of like it when you can only figure out what kunemon's saying through context, usually via ryo. but also i think it's really fun to explore what kunemon's voice sounds like in dialogue - if you translated all of kunemon's kews, would he speak the same way as jewelbeemon or banchoustingmon? it's hard to say, given that theres basically no time in-narrative save for the evolution event where banchoustingmon is center stage. that's part of why i think it's a shame that ultimate and mega stage evolutions are affinity-dependant rather than story-depedant. that said, i've heard that the development cycle for this game was BRUTAL, so i dont fault the devs for it. besides, it's kinda fun to try to figure out how to change ultimate and mega evo scenes so that they fit into a specific area of the story. i won't get into it now, but i have MANY thoughts on the subject.

i also have many thoughts about ryo. i know ive talked about this before, but he was the one to surprise me the most in truthful. i truly was caught off-guard at how much of ryo is hidden behind the walls he puts up at the very beginning. it's so delightful to me that this rough, foul-mouthed, prickly guy is arguably the most emotionally intelligent of the group. i bet he has no idea that his ability to read people is so impressive, and likely views his eye for detail is nothing out of the ordinary. i think these skills are both things that he started to hone at a young age, and now they're just second nature. although. i do think these skills completely go out the window when he's in distress.

also on the topic of ryo - i will die on the hill that he and saki have some kind of shared history. i dont think they go to the same school; there's a few references to saki probably being at the same one as takuma and minoru, and then at the amusement park in truthful, theres a bit of dialogue between minoru and ryo that suggests that the two of them go to different schools. so instead, i've mostly committed to the notion that they're …hmm… childhood "friends" is a strong word. probably closer to childhood "acquaintances". childhood "other kid i kept seeing over and over at the same place, and since theres no one else my age around here i dont have any other options". childhood "best available friend".

anyway, I think they were familiar with one another through their parents. it makes sense to me that one of saki's parents worked with ryo's mother or had some other kind of connection to her that faded after she died. or maybe ryo and saki ended up running into each other constantly while ryo's mother was in the hospital. in either scenario, a much younger saki and ryo would have been together frequently enough that they got to know each other pretty well as kids, then grew distant after their families' paths stopped crossing, not seeing each other again until the start of the camping trip. i think thats a decent reason for why ryo's not quite as temperamental with saki as he is with the others rightrightright at the beginning, and it would explain why he doesn't seem to mind her following him around and saying stuff like "idk what you'd do if i take my eyes off you" without him getting all that annoyed (relatively).

but yeah, this chapter was a LOT of fun for me to write. i really liked the idea of getting the immediate aftermath of the fight with wendimon from ryo's perspective. it was gonna be from shuuji's at first, but i think he would have been too caught up in shock and grief to be paying much attention to any of the others. ryo, on the other hand, is extremely observant and perceptive even though he's also pretty upset.

i had a great time writing shuuji listening in on kunemon and ryo's conversation. obviously i loved the duality of shuuji having no idea what kunemon is talking about while we the reader know that ryo gets whiplash between trying to cheer up a gloomy kunemon, exchanging stuff they've noticed about their friends, then being personally attacked about his feelings concerning a specific person (whose identity i hope was at least somewhat discernible without kunemon goggles). shuuji can understand the words ryo is saying just fine, but the information he learns catches him off-guard, and it occurs to him just how much distance there is between him and most of the group. this gave me a fun opportunity to think about what it's like to be shuuji at this specific part of the story - he's just had this horrible brush with death, and even though he's doing much better than he was before, he's at a point where he hasn't grown close with most of the others yet. we don't see much of shuuji having to build or rebuild his relationships with his peers immediately following the waterway - iirc the bulk of what we get is after those 10 days takuma was gone, and by then, the way he interacts with the others is much, much different.

i also really enjoyed getting a bit silly about the game mechanics in the last segment. finding random shit like plates of ribs and weird bananas isn't really addressed much beyond acknowledging that it was found. i think theres been SOME commentary about how the thing is weird, but to my knowledge, WHERE those weird things were found isn't acknowledged. nobody ever sits back like "hey so why the fuck did i find a pineapple inside of the piano" and i thought i could play with that a little!!

all right, thats gonna do it for this week. as you may have noticed, my ability to accurately gauge when i can post chapters is… hmm… questionable at best. i currently plan on posting chapter 4 on monday, but theres a small local con this weekend so i can't say for certain. my usual weekend chores will likely be pushed to monday unless im able to get them done tomorrow (highly unlikely), so we'll just have to wait and see!

thank you for reading, and as i said on ao3, im really really grateful for the comments ive gotten, even the ones in tags on tumblr. im always happy for more, and im so curious to know what stood out to people the most.

[incorrent-quotes]

hi!! ur account makes me so mf happy 🥹 all the quotes make so much sense. ive just gotten back into the rent brainrot after a few years of not listening and man idk why i stopped. my questions is what is your favorite, most human moment of the show to you? and when did you start loving the show? thanks!

Oh my thank you, this ask makes me so happy in turn!!🥹 I'm so glad you found your way back into Rent, it truly never leaves you❤️

I'm actually relatively new to Rent, though it's coming on 3 years soon, time flies! I first saw the movie in 2021 and it just stuck with me, I can't go a day without listening to some of Jonathan's music now lol.

As for my favorite moment, oh man, there are so many, but based on a convo I just had I'll go with "Will I" for several reasons. First I find the background of that song so touching, since Larson used to go to those meetings with his best friend who was positive and on one of them, someone said "You know, I keep wondering, will I lose my dignity?" and so he went and turned it into this beautiful song. Secondly it's the musical part, the way it keeps building is just so heavenly and touching even though the lyrics are so simple. Which brings me to the point that it always gets me that Mark joins in on only the second verse, willingly making himself one of them and feeling just as scared of what's going to happen. In the movie the cinematography makes it even better, since he actually lowers his camera when Roger comes and when they exchange a look, you can actually see in real time how proud he is of his friend and how relieved that he's finally coming out of his shell❤️ It feels like a deciding moment for both of them, Roger is at last willing to confront his illness and Mark seems to let himself feel the weight of their situation for once. So the combination of all of these, plus the fact that those characters are named after real people just does it for me.

Gosh this is such a long answer but thanks so much for the ask, I'm always down to chat about Rent!!❤️❤️