#ive only slept for 3 hours. i think i deserve 3 more | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourmidnightlover · 3 years ago

Note

comfort blurb request??? maybe Spencer is just taking the absolute most care for you and making sure you’re okay after a hard case

cw: case mentions, mention of abusive and neglectful parents, unsub dies, crying, kind of a breakdown by the reader, spencer being a very nice little bean. *please let me know if ive missed anything*

a/n: so this turned out far longer than i anticipated but i love it nonetheless. thank you for the request, love <3

you were attached.

you couldn’t help it either.

spencer could tell

as you looked at the unsub from around the corner with a sense of sympathy, he recognized a part of himself on similar cases. when an unsub was schizophrenic, or when an unsub had been bullied, or when they had a drug problem that had been forced on them.

but for you, he couldn’t tell why you sympathized with this unsub. they’ve worked cases with unsubs just like this one - while all unsubs are different, their backgrounds tend to meld together on occasion.

in this situation it was abusive parents that would neglect them, no siblings, no grandparents or aunts or uncles to turn to… they were alone and were forced to cope with their own insanity. this unsub… he had nowhere to turn for his own depression and anxiety and he had to cope in some sort of way. he just chose to do that by killing.

now, on the jet ride back home, with 1 hour left, spencer walked over to sit beside you on the couch. for the duration of the ride, you hadn’t been talking. you hadn’t been reading. you were just sitting there in silence, clearly lost in your own thoughts.

the unsub had been shot. he was breaking down. he was going to shoot you. you would’ve let him. hotch took the shot that you couldn’t take. you were angry with him at first. you clutched his shirt in your hands, yet hotch didn’t care. he held onto your shoulders and looked at you with that same look of sympathy you had for the unsub. he hugged your shoulders as you cried into his vest.

“he didn’t deserve that!” you sobbed into his vest. “he just wanted to be okay…”

“i know,” hotch stroked your shoulders, soothing you until spencer walked over.

he took your hands from his shirt and wrapped them around spencer, knowing you’d want your best friend’s shoulder to cry on instead of your boss’s. spencer looked at hotch with a look of confusion, clearly not knowing why she was so upset.

“ask,” he informed spencer, patting his shoulder before walking away, leaving the two of you alone.

he practically carried you to the car. you were barely strong enough to keep yourself from tripping over your feet. spencer was your crutch, and that’s how he liked it. you had spent so long putting up this strong front for everyone, it only took one case for it to finally wear down the last of your walls.

“how about we have a sleepover when we get back?” spencer asked, finally breaking you from your trance as you turned to face him sitting beside you on the couch.

you didn’t say anything. you merely nodded and rested your head on his shoulder, trying to conceal the tears that had continued to flow from his gesture of kindness. he wrapped his arms around you and laid down on the couch, allowing you to rest on his chest for the duration of the ride. he knew you weren’t asleep. but perhaps a little piece of your mind was able to stop racing around because of his presence.

everyone saw it go down. but they didn’t say anything. it was obvious the two of you were closer than friends. the way you would put each other before anything, the way you would both simply look at each other. you always hung out after work when you were able to. you would have sleepovers with one another. you would do each other’s work. you would eat lunch together. you would get coffee together… you get the gist.

so seeing him comfort you so tenderly after the breakdown you had… it felt warm. although, derek didn’t hesitate snapping a picture of the way you cuddled into spencer’s chest, his eyes closed with content so he could send it to his babygirl later.

once you got off the jet, hotch dismissed everyone home for two days, something about getting some well needed rest and rehabilitation.

spencer began to drive your car to your place, thinking you’d want to be in the comfort of your own apartment. once you saw him make the turn towards your place rather than his own, you reached across the console and grasped his arm.

“what?” he asked with a questioning tone.

you shook your head, “i don’t wanna go to my place,” you continued to shake your head rapidly as he pulled the car over.

“hey, hey,” he placed his hand on the sides of your face to ground you. “we’ll go to mine, alright? whatever you need, we’ll get you,” you finally nodded your head before spencer reached over and kissed your forehead.

so, he took you to his apartment. he wanted you to feel safe, and if going to his place would provide that, then he would supply. he insisted on carrying your bags so you could walk on your own, so you did. but the second you were inside, he dropped the bags by the couch and wrapped you in his arms once more.

“go lie down on my bed, alright?” he whispered in your ear. “i’ll order us takeout and get you some tea. you get comfortable.”

you nodded and kissed the side of his neck before he released you, his hand lingering on your waist as you began walking down the hallway. his eyes lingered on your figure as you walked away, your arms wrapped around yourself as you entered his room.

he sighed before turning back to make your tea. perhaps chamomile would help you relax. he picked up the phone while the water was boiling and ordered you your favorite takeout. after the order was placed, he poured the boiling water into a mug with the tea bag and a dash of honey for sweetness.

“hey, bug,” he called as he entered the room. you were sitting on the edge of the bed, arms still wrapped around yourself in a self-soothing manner as he sat beside you. “here’s your tea, and the food should be here in around 20 more minutes.”

“okay,” you sighed as you took the cup from him, taking a sip. “thank you - for everything.”

“you don’t need to thank me,” he told you. “i’m happy to make sure my best friend knows she’s cared for.”

“no, i need to thank you,” you sniffled. “it’s not very often that i actually need to be taken care of, and i’m just not used to it. i’ve spent most of my life caring for myself and others and… and i really needed this - needed you,” you placed your free hand on top of his and gently squeezed it.

“i would take care of you forever,” he whispered, the look in his eyes telling you that he meant every word.

“i love you.”

you both said in unison.

spencer’s eyes searched yours for the same meaning his portrayed - yours secretly doing the same.

“i’m in love with you,” you sniffled. “i have been for a while,” you shrugged.

“i am too - in love with you,” he smiled. “i’m so in love with you it hurts. when i saw you crying, i… i wanted to take it all on myself. you don’t deserve to hurt. you’re the one person who actually cares about people and takes care of them with no expectations.”

“thank you,” you grinned. “i know you want to know why i was so upset tonight, but…”

“you don’t have to tell me anything if you aren’t ready,” his hand gently squeezed your thigh.

knock. knock. knock

spencer rose from his seat on the bed and retrieved the food. he returned to see you scooted up to one side of the bed - the side you always slept on during your sleepovers. your tea was sat down on the bedside table and your legs in criss-cross applesauce position.

“hey,” he knocked on the door so he wouldn’t startle you.

“hey,” you smiled as he climbed in bed beside you.

he began passing out the food, and you ate in silence. it was a comfortable silence, one that the two of you had become accustomed to. your arms would accidentally touch, causing the both of you to blush and smile like idiots at the other.

once you were finished, spencer cleaned up the food and you went to brush your teeth, him doing the same after you. upon his return, you were already in your night clothes - a large t-shirt and some shorts you’ve had for ages. your makeup was removed and your hair was in a messy bun at the bottom of your head.

“you’re beautiful,” spencer couldn’t help but speak as he went to change his clothes.

“so are you,” you spoke up quietly. “i don’t think people tell you that often enough.”

“i’m supposed to be taking care of you,” he chuckled as he grabbed a pair of old sweatpants to change into. he came back in an immediately cuddled up next to you in bed. “how do you wanna cuddle? or do you even want to cuddle?”

“is that even a question? of course i wanna cuddle,” you scoffed as you took his right arm and began snuggling with it, your fingers intertwined with his, your head rested on his chest as his free hand was tracing circles on your waist. “i love you so much, spencer.”

“i love you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your hairline.

“say it again, please,” he felt his skin begin to dampen where your eyes were.

“i love you,” he moved his free hand to stroke your hair.

“again, please,” you sniffled.

“i love you, y/n,” he whispered. “i love you so much,” he continued. “i love your kindness. i love your spirit. i love your generosity. i love your humility. i love everything about you. i will always love you,” pressing one more kiss to your forehead, he heard your steady breaths and knew you had finally fallen asleep.

and in that moment, with you clutching his arm as you snored softly, he knew that he’d never let you go.

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multifandomhoodies · 4 years ago

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Finnpoe Rec List!

There’s some really fantastic Finnpoe fics out there and I’ve been setting aside fics from my bookmarks for this for a while! These are just some of my faves, so enjoy!!

Canon/Canon Adjacent (not AUs outside general Star Wars universe)

“how to become the spark�� by sassy_ninja (G - 49.7k

Poe Dameron, commander of the Resistance fleet, best pilot in the galaxy, hotshot trigger-happy flyboy, he's all of these things plus a little bit more. This is the story Poe Dameron, shy farmboy, doting son, idiot gay, soldier who tries his best not to be broken by the war roaring around him and most of all just a human in a galaxy which doesn't care about things like love, friendship and fear. This is how he breaks and how he begins to heal again and how he starts to learn what it means to be alive. Or Poe Dameron's life from his childhood to the end of the war.

“bathed in blue light” by delgay (M - 17.4k)

When Finn turns to his right, Poe stands beside him, looking up at Finn and giving him what might be a smirk if he weren’t too busy smiling. It’s that same smile that’s made home on his face ever since Finn said, “I’d like to see Yavin IV. If I’d be welcome.” Poe had blinked fast, but the smile came slow. “Buddy,” he’d replied, “I’m offended that you even had to ask.”

A year after the Battle of Exegol, Finn and Poe visit Yavin IV. While there, Finn struggles with the Force and his complicated relationship with Poe.

“we slept with our backs against the weather” by bogpersons (T - 8.4k)

Poe’s breaths come in stops and starts, and wheezes on the inhale and exhale. He sounds like a dying man. Finn lifts Poe’s hand to his lips, presses it there, squeezes his eye shut. Something harsh and painful swells in his chest, finds a place under his heart and pushes and pushes and pushes until Finn can barely breathe with it. You are a Human Person. Finn and Poe crash on a jungle planet. Finn struggles with himself.

“We Stan A Healthy Family Dynamic (The Kes Verse)” by AphroditesTummyRolls SERIES (Not rated, 161.7k)

Get in losers, we're giving the Star Wars Sequel cast the story they deserved-- Particularly Poe and Finn.

[Set after the events of TFA, rewrites of TLJ and neat little bits in-between. Poe deals with the aftermath Kylo Ren’s interrogation, dealing with regret and trauma, with the help of his friends and dad through a rewrite of TLJ.]

“your love will be safe with me” by incalyscent (T - 8.6k)

when finn stripped away the violence from himself, what did he have left? it was love; love; love.

“i’m yours (and suddenly you’re mine) by spacepilotprince (E - 4.3k)

Finn snorts against Poe's stomach, and it forces a ticklish laugh out of him. “Laying it on a little thick tonight, aren't you?” Finn asks as he looks up at Poe, and finds that grin he heard in his voice.

“Not the only thing that's thick,” Poe says with a smirk, glancing down between them towards Finn's cock.

“Oh, shut up,” Finn laughs, surging up to kiss him, muffling Poe's laughter. Poe runs his hands over Finn's shoulders and tips his head aside, sending Finn's mouth down his jaw and neck.

“Contact” by earthmylikeness (M - 9.9k)

Because what could Finn do but live through it? Live in the remains of his own shipwrecked mind, his badly-crossed wires. Imagine Poe’s perpetually bitten mouth on him - his wide, calloused hands on his bare chest, pulling him down and down whenever he so much as closes his eyes.

Finn has a delayed reaction to surviving the crash.

“Best Laid Efforts” by cosmicocean (T - 3.7k) @cosmicoceanfic

In which Jessika and Temmin do their best, aren't even subtle about it, and Poe and Finn are still morons.

“Ad Pacem” by SteveTrevorsStarship (T - 1.5k)

Finn knows war and rebellion so far. He doesn’t know peace. (Yet.)

“First Comes the Night” by coffeeinallcaps (E - 20.1k)

He doesn’t get nightmares. He doesn’t dream about the mask, the cries of the villagers, waking up in the desert with a blinding headache and his mouth filled with blood and the man who’d saved him gone, most likely dead. Instead, he just can’t sleep.

“have you heard” by peradi (Not rated, 42.1k)

"I heard FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper."

Finn sparks a revolution.

“Doubt” by Cadoan (T - 1.4k)

After the battle of Crait, something has changed in Poe. Poe can't sleep, and Finn goes to find him.

“Neither Here Nor There” by d8rkmessengr (T - 7.8k)

Sometimes, it felt like he wasn't really here. Sometimes, it felt like it wasn't really over. And the one person who tethered him left to finally tell Rey something. Post The Rise of Skywalker.

“How to Be a Finn” by Ayashiki (G - 111k)

In a hindsight, all of it - the stolen childhood, the crash on Jakku, Han Solo's death, even the lightsaber to the back - was easier than living in this world of invisible social clues and inside jokes, the whirlwind of this ragtag family that defied any logic, the caring, the compassion, the love. And all the while people tell him: Finn, you are so brave! Finn, you are so strong! Finn, you are so kind! Finn, thank you for saving my life! And FN-2187 looks to the stars and desperately tries to find this "Finn" everyone seems to know in himself.

“On the Other Side” by StarMaple (T - 27.2k)

Finn discovers the differences first hand between the First Order and the Resistance and establishes a space for himself on D'Qar.

“we are all stardust” by synergenic (Losseflame) (Not rated, 15.3k)

Finn wakes up. He wakes up slow, the rising tide of consciousness making him aware, firstly, of how stale his mouth tastes. Then it's the general stiffness of his body, the foreign feeling of a pillow beneath his head, the softness of the clothes he's wearing. Finn doesn't think he's ever worn clothes so soft.

“No Sleep till Brooklyn” by TheCarrot (T first chapter, second chapter E, - 10.4k)

Poe is exhausted. And not just because he hasn’t slept for more than three hours at a time in Force knows how long. Moreover it’s the 39 flights he’s run in the last 22 days and the fact Pava had gotten deathlike sick eight days ago and then they had fallen behind on a few supply runs and an emergency evacuations of some of their pathfinders and then there had been a last minute scramble to one of their allies in the mid rim with far too many TIEs to be comfortable and then- well, Poe just wants to fall over onto the floor and stay there.

AUs

“Time of the Underdog” by beeeawolf, SERIES. (G & T, 56k)

Modern times AU, Poe is a former Navy pilot who was discharged after a crash and being a POW. Finn is a university student who manages to catch Poe’s run away dog, BB-8, who’s literally everything to him.

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” by MayGlenn and cognomen (E - 10.7k)

There’s a calm that claims them all when they’re working and it’s going the way it’s supposed to; the low-level hum of concentration and focus and adrenaline that keeps them on edge without panic. The crew deploys from Idaho, a home base that they see perhaps 3 weeks out of the entire 26 week fire season, interspersed with time in camps and housing all over the country. This week, it’s California—sunny, liberal, beach lined, and on fire.

Finn's a Hotshot firefighter; Poe's the team Helitack operator. They're headed to California to fight a fire in San Jacinto; dangerous country.

“It’s Not Goodbye” by mssrj_335 (T - 25.9k)

Finn is an ex-soldier on a solo motorcycle trip across America. Poe is the mechanic in a small desert town. Poe wants to keep his secrets and Finn is running from something--or toward it--and the part for his bike is going to take at least a week to come in. What starts as a quick stop and awkward flirt devolves into a conspiratorial intrigue of a very personal nature. Lights in the desert, headaches and vague memories all point Finn to something that has Poe tied in knots. He just has no idea how far that something will take him.

“A Possibility (A Promise)” by sapphistication (T - 5.9k)

Poe, Prince of Yavin, is briefly reunited with the Resistance Fighters lead by General Leia Organa. After three years apart, he quickly finds that his affections for Finn are of a different nature than he remembers. Despite the war they find themselves in, they share a few moments of peace by the fire, filled with soft words and meaningful smiles. Time works against them, but Poe seeks a possibility and makes a promise.

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bibbawrites · 4 years ago

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Beach Baby - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen

THIS IS PART 4 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES YOU CAN READ PART 1 HERE , THE PREQUEL (PART 2) HERE AND PART 3 HERE

Request: none

Word Count: 3907 words 😳

Summary: Part 4 of Single Dad!Charlie, Margaux and Charlie reunite with Owen in Hawaii after months apart due to lockdown, just in time for Margaux’s fourth birthday

Warnings: technically underage drinking, i guess technically i have to warn that this is implied mutual crushing between owen and charlie, if you dont feel comfortable with romantic chowen do not read

A/N: i couldn’t get this out of my head so i had to write it, and boy did i write it this is the longest non-chaptered fic ive ever written and honestly i could have made it longer but i didnt want it to drag on any more that it already did this is literally more than double the length of my normal fics, i got very carried away

also just a note that i’m not trying to be rude about the fans who met the boys at the airport and i’m sure in real life the boys were happy to stop and chat, but from a parents perspective charlie’s first instinct would be to protect his daughter so i just thought i’d add that. please don’t get upset for that part!

sorry for any mistakes, its 4am and im half asleep trying to read through this to post lol anyways, hope you enjoy!

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals @bartok-the-magnificent @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @katrina765 @fandomxreaders @ifilwtmfc

“Papa!” Margaux screamed, racing across the airport to Owen, the blond boy scooping up the nearly four year old and spinning her around when she reached him.

“Maggie! I’ve missed you so much.” Owen exclaimed, pulling his mask down to pepper her cheeks with kisses, causing Margaux to giggle loudly. “Where’s your Daddy?”

“Right behind you.” Owen spun around to find Charlie standing there, clearly smiling at him despite the bandana that covered his mouth, and Owen’s heart skipped a beat at how good Charlie looked in the early morning sun streaming through the airport windows.

Meanwhile Charlie was thinking the exact same thing, admiring how attractive Owen was, especially when he was in his dad mode. He really understood why girls had such a weakness for cute boys with cute kids when he saw Owen with Margaux.

Charlie stepped forward, pulling Owen into a tight hug and Margaux whined in complaint at being squished between her dad and her self declared papa. They pulled away from each other, both boys fighting to hide their slightly flushed cheeks.

“I’m hungry.” Margaux whined, and Charlie was snapped out of his heart eyes daze, his whole focus back on his daughter.

“Let’s get some food into you before our plane leaves then eh.” He replied, and Margaux nodded happily.

Feeling bold Owen grabbed onto Charlie’s hand, lacing their fingers together. It wasn’t unusual for them to do this but it was the first time doing it when they were well known enough that someone might recognise them. But neither of them really cared. They were just happy to be back together again.

The minute they arrived in Hawaii they were met with fans. As much as he loved meeting the fans Charlie couldn’t help but sigh slightly as he tried to protect Margaux as much as he could.

It wasn’t that the fans didn’t know about Margaux, because it was a well known fact that he was a single dad, it was more that he wanted to keep her away from the spotlight. She hadn’t asked for her dad to become a well known actor, and she didn’t deserve to have her life changed because of it. He was determined to give her the most normal life possible.

Eventually they made it to the villa house that they were staying in while in Hawaii, and after throwing their bags into their rooms it was time to have a bit of fun.

“Swim time swim time!” Margaux sung, running laps around the living room. Kenny chuckled at the small girl, looking up at Charlie who was following closely behind her.

“It seems like only yesterday she was a tiny two year old who cried every time you left her side.” He said, and Charlie smiled fondly, sitting down on the chair next to Kenny.

“She’s growing up too fast.” He agreed. “I can’t believe in less than 24 hours time I’ll be a dad to a four year old.”

Margaux tripped on the tiles, landing with a clatter, her bottom lip jutting out. Charlie jumped up, but before he could even think about moving across the room Owen was by Margaux’s side, helping her up and pulling her into a tight hug. He whispered something in her ear and Margaux giggled loudly, her fall already forgotten.

Charlie smiled softly at the scene, his heart filled with love for both the blond boy and his little princess.

“Daddy.” Margaux called, snapping Charlie out of his daze.

“Yeah baby?” He answered, finally making his way across the room.

“Can we swim now?” She asked, grabbing onto his leg. Charlie subconsciously ran his hand through her soft curls.

“Of course we can.” He replied. Margaux glanced up at Owen.

“Papa too?” She questioned.

“Papa too.” Charlie agreed. Margaux peered past him, her gaze landing on Kenny.

“Coming Uncle Kenny?” She asked, and Kenny laughed, standing up.

“Coming Little Gillespie.” He replied.

Margaux smiled contently, taking both Charlie and Owen’s hands to pull them outside towards the pool.

She really did have every single one of them wrapped around her little finger.

Dinner that night was special, as it was supposed to be Carolynn’s last day on the island. They decided on a joint party for her last night, as well as celebrating Margaux’s birthday a day early.

They had headed to a tiny restaurant near their villa, and Charlie had allowed Margaux to pick whatever she wanted from the menu, not that it mattered because she chose chicken nuggets and chips anyways.

The meal was nice, and before they knew it they were arriving back at the villa. Jeremy, Carolynn and Kenny all excused themselves for bed, and Tori settled into the couch, flicking the TV on.

“Bath and bed time baby.” Charlie told Margaux, and she pouted but obeyed, following him into the hallway.

“Hey Char, can I ask you something?” Owen asked, trailing behind the father daughter duo, and Charlie stopped, letting Margaux run ahead to their room.

“Anything.” He smiled.

“Do you mind if I share your room? I know the other bed was meant to be for Margaux but-” Owen started, playing with his fingers slightly.

“She can share with me.” Charlie cut him off. “Bed’s all yours.” Owen looked up, his eyes widening.

“Really?” He checked.

“Of course.” Charlie smiled. Owen grinned, throwing his arms around Charlie’s neck.

“Thanks Char. I just didn’t really want to sleep alone.” He admitted, and Charlie squeezed him tight.

“Any time.” He told Owen, and the blond boy pulled away with a smile, before heading off to the room he was originally going to stay in to collect his bags.

Charlie entered the room that he and Margaux, and now Owen, were sharing, finding his daughter already snuggled into one of the beds, still wearing her dinner clothes. Charlie sighed, moving to pull her out of the bed. Owen entered the room, bags in tow, and Margaux looked up at him excitedly.

“Papa! Are you sleeping here?” She questioned. Owen placed his bags in the corner before answering.

“I am Miss Maggie.” He said, and Margaux cheered.

“You don’t mind sleeping with Daddy?” Charlie checked, and Margaux shook her head, jumping up to throw her arms around Charlie’s neck.

“Nope! More cuddles!” She stated. Charlie laughed, picking her up.

“Exactly right. Now, it’s bath time.” He said, grabbing Margaux’s pyjamas as she clung to him.

“Bye Papa!” Margaux called as Charlie moved to leave the room. Owen waved.

“Bye Maggie!” He replied, matching her enthusiasm. Charlie couldn’t help but smile.

Margaux was so lucky to have someone like Owen in her life. They both were.

“Daddy! Wake up!” Margaux screamed, jumping on top of Charlie. He groaned, squinting as he looked up at his daughter.

“What time is it?” He mumbled. Owen sat up in his own bed, grabbing his phone to check the time.

“4:47am.” He informed Charlie, his voice thick with sleep. Charlie tried to ignore how sexy Owen’s morning voice was, instead focusing on his daughter.

“Mags it’s too early to be awake.” He told her. Margaux pouted, flopping down on top of him.

“Daddy, it’s my birthday!” She exclaimed. Charlie smiled, kissing her cheek.

“I know baby, happy birthday. Now can we sleep for a little bit?” He tried. Margaux thought for a moment.

“Only if Papa comes here too.” She decided.

Charlie’s eyes widened slightly, eyes fixed on Owen as the younger boy sleepily slid out of his bed with no hesitation, and into Charlie’s, snuggling into Charlie’s side the minute he laid down. Margaux squirmed her way under the covers, squishing herself in between the two of them.

Charlie shut his eyes in an attempt to get back to sleep, but it was no use. He opened his eyes again, staring up at the ceiling, as Margaux slept soundly next to him.

His mind was racing, noticing every single little place where Owen’s warm skin was in contact with his. It felt like he was on fire.

“Stop thinking.” Owen mumbled, and Charlie turned his head to see Owen staring at him, his eyes half shut with sleep.

“How did you know?” He questioned. Owen gave him a small smile.

“I always know. Whatever it is, just ignore it for now. Get some sleep, it’s gonna be a big day.” Owen whispered. Charlie paused for a moment, just staring at Owen in the dim light from Margaux’s nightlight. Even half asleep in the almost complete darkness of the room Owen still looked gorgeous. Charlie swallowed.

“You’re right. Thanks O.” He replied.

“Love you.” Owen yawned in response, his eyes shutting again. Charlie smiled softly, moving his hand to brush a bit of Owen’s hair off his face.

“I love you too Owen.” He replied, despite the fact that the younger boy was already asleep. He pressed a soft kiss to Owen’s head, and lowered his voice to no more than a whisper.

“More than I probably should.”

After what felt like no time at all Charlie was being shaken awake again.

“Daddy is it time to get up now?” Margaux questioned, sitting on his chest. Charlie yawned.

He reached over and checked his phone. It was just after 6:30am.

“Okay we can get up. But we’re gonna leave Papa to sleep a little bit more, okay?” Charlie compromised. Margaux thought for a moment before agreeing. Charlie grinned, sliding the both of them out of the bed careful not to wake Owen. Once they were out of the bed Charlie lifted Margaux up, placing her on his hip. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

“Now. Let’s go make some birthday pancakes.”

“Happy birthday Little Gillespie.” Jeremy sung, entering the kitchen with Carolynn close behind him.

Margaux grinned, her mouth full of pancake.

“Thank you!” She exclaimed, her words muffled by her food. Carolynn stepped past Jeremy, moving to place a gentle kiss on Margaux’s head and whisper to her. Margaux grinned before looking up at her father.

“Hey Daddy?” She spoke. Charlie made a noise in response.

“Yeah?” He said, flipping pancakes onto a plate for both Jeremy and Carolynn.

“Do you think the birthday fairy could found me here?” Margaux questioned, her eyes full of hope. Charlie couldn’t help but smile, not even bothering to correct her words, as he placed the pan down.

“Should we go find out?” He asked. Margaux’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Yeah! But first we have to get Papa.” She decided. Charlie nodded.

“You wanna go wake him up? Tell him we made him some pancakes?” He asked, and Margaux grinned, already sliding out of her chair.

“Okay Daddy!” She replied, before rushing out of the room. The room fell silent for a few moments before Carolynn cleared her throat.

“So Charlie...” She raised an eyebrow. “How long have you been in love with Owen?”

Charlie choked on his coffee.

“I’m sorry, what?” He spluttered. Carolynn grinned.

“You heard me.” She said. Charlie hesitated.

“I’m not-” He stopped. “I-”

He groaned. There was no use denying it if clearly he was obvious enough that his friends had figured him out.

“Since filming.” He admitted. Carolynn cheered.

“You owe me $20.” She told her husband, who glared at Charlie.

“You just had to admit it, huh?” Jeremy shook his head, and Charlie shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“Admit what?” Owen’s voice came from behind them, deep from sleep, and Charlie took a sip of his coffee to try to distract himself. Owen always looked good but in the early morning light, his hair still a mess from sleeping, he looked ethereal. Charlie bit his lip to stop himself from staring.

“Nothing important.” Carolynn replied, and Charlie shot her a thankful look.

“Can we see if the birthday fairy visited now?” Margaux sighed, clearly impatient. They all laughed.

“Of course baby.” Charlie told her, standing up. He grabbed the plate of pancakes he had made for Owen, handing them to the younger boy as he passed him.

Margaux lead the way to the living area where Kenny and Tori were already sat waiting, squealing with excitement when she saw the small pile of presents on the table.

“They came!” She exclaimed, and Charlie couldn’t help but smile, ruffling her hair affectionately.

Margaux settled down on the couch as everyone spread out around the room, and one by one she opened the presents, eyes widening with excitement at every single one.

Charlie had gotten her a few dolls that he knew she had been wanting, plus some new clothes, books and other toys.

Jeremy and Carolynn had gotten her a small paint set with a Frozen paint by numbers.

Kenny had gotten her a tiny version of the Sunset Curve shirt that the cast had all received.

Tori had gotten her a little lilac tutu.

Madi, Jadah and Savannah had sent their presents, some handmade earrings, little stud versions of the ghost drawings that Carolynn had created from Madi, a small pair of overalls from Savannah, and a colouring book from Jadah.

But her absolute favourite gift had come from Owen, a tan coloured bear from Build-A-Bear that he had dressed like Luke, and the clothes to change the bear into Reggie, Alex and Julie if she wanted to.

After hugs all round the group decided to go their own ways, with Kenny heading off to spend the day relaxing, and Tori, Jeremy and Carolynn going to the beach to sunbathe since Carolynn’s flight had been delayed.

“Where do you want to go today birthday girl?” Charlie asked, as he and Owen collected the pile of gifts to move them back to their room.

Margaux frowned in thought, the bear still grasped in her arms.

“Hiking.” She decided, and Charlie laughed. She was definitely his daughter.

“You sure? We can do whatever you want to do.” He checked. Margaux nodded, her attention focused on her new clothes that Charlie had placed on the bed to fold later.

“I’m sure.” She said, reaching for the Sunset Curve shirt and overalls. “Can I wear this?”

“Of course you can.” Charlie agreed.

“I’m gonna have a quick shower.” Owen said, grabbing some clothes out of his bag. Charlie nodded, focused on helping Margaux change out of her pyjamas into her new clothes.

“Do you think we can have some time tonight just you and me?” Charlie asked once Margaux was dressed, moving to grab her hairbrush and some hair ties.

“Yes please Daddy.” Margaux agreed, sitting on the edge of the bed as Charlie sat behind her.

“We could go get dinner just the two of us, and then come back here for birthday cake.” He suggested. Margaux frowned, clearly thinking.

“Is it chocolate cake?” She asked after a moment, and Charlie paused from brushing her hair to kiss the top of her head.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” He teased. Charlie finished tying her hair up into two little space buns, not quite proper buns but as close as he could get with her shortish hair.

“I hope it’s chocolate cake. I love chocolate cake.” She giggled, standing up on the bed and turning around to hug her father. Charlie wrapped his arms around her, a gesture that was so safe and familiar.

“Me too baby, me too.” He agreed. Margaux snuggled her head into his shoulder.

“Is Papa coming hiking?” She questioned. Charlie grinned to himself.

“Do you want him to come?” He asked. Margaux didn’t even hesitate.

“Yes.”

“Then I’m sure he’d love to come.” Charlie assured her. She pulled away. looking him in the eyes. Charlie had always loved that she had gotten his eyes.

“Do I ask him?” She said, eyes wide. Charlie struggled to contain a laugh at how serious she looked.

“When he comes back, yeah.” He nodded.

“When who comes back?” Owen asked, re-entering the room. Margaux jumped up, throwing herself at the 20 year old. He lifted her up with no hesitation.

“Are you gonna come hiking?” Margaux asked, her bottom lip jutting out in a pleading way.

“Of course I am. Wouldn’t want to miss spending time with my two favourite people.” Owen grinned, kissing her nose causing her to giggle. Charlie’s heart skipped a beat at the declaration that he was one of Owen’s favourite people.

“Yay! Can we go now?” Margaux turned in Owen’s arms to face her father. He nodded, standing up from the bed.

“Shoes, and then we can go.” He said, and Margaux squirmed her way out of Owen’s arms to go find her running shoes.

Charlie exchanged a look with Owen, the both of them thinking the same thing.

It was going to be a long day.

Hiking with a just turned four year old was exhausting, even despite them choosing the easiest possible trail so that she wouldn’t have any issues.

It was fine at first, Margaux excitedly looking at the plants and trying to spot any animals in the trees, but after about twenty minutes she got bored and tired, and Charlie and Owen spent the rest of the hike passing her back and forth between the two of them.

Finally they made it back to the villa, and after a quick stop for lunch Margaux was recharged and ready for the rest of the day.

“Can we swim?” She asked. Charlie nodded.

“We’ll go and get changed, and then we can go in the pool for a while until we have to get ready for dinner, okay?” He suggested.

“Okay Daddy.” Margaux smiled sweetly.

After quickly changing into their swimmers, Charlie, Margaux and Owen ended up in the pool, Jeremy and Carolynn lounging nearby.

They swam for a few hours until Margaux got thirsty, and with a promise of apple juice she and Charlie climbed out of the pool leaving Owen to go sit with the Shada’s.

Charlie walked inside the villa, finding Kenny sat at the kitchen bench reading while Tori lounged on one of the couches, staring at her phone.

“Why don’t we do cake now, so that you don’t have to worry about rushing home?” Kenny spoke up, as Charlie manoeuvred through the kitchen to get the apple juice out, Margaux clinging to his chest like a baby koala.

“That’s a good idea. Do you want to do your birthday cake now Mags?” Charlie asked his daughter, pouring her some apple juice. She sipped on the juice, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah!” She exclaimed. Charlie smiled.

“Okay, can you go get Papa, Aunty Care and Uncle Jer for me?” He asked, placing her down. She nodded eagerly, handing her cup of juice to him before rushing outside to where Owen, Jeremy and Carolynn were still sat.

Charlie grabbed the cake out of the fridge and placed it on the bench, before putting the four candles in, and grabbing a lighter.

“Have you seen my camera Kenny?” He asked, and Kenny just pointed to the end of the bench where the camera was sitting. Charlie smiled gratefully, grabbing the camera.

“Want me to take photos?” Tori offered, and Charlie nodded, handing her the camera.

Margaux re-entered the room, Owen and the Shada’s following close behind her, and when she reached her father he lifted her up. Kenny took the lighter, lighting the candles on the cake and together they sung Happy Birthday to Margaux, Tori snapping photos as the four year old blew out her candles.

Charlie held Margaux close to him as Kenny divided the cake up, thankful that he had such an amazing family to spend his little girl’s birthday with.

When Charlie and Margaux made it back to the villa after their dinner that night, the newly four year old was ready to fall asleep. Charlie carried her to bed, silently thanking his past self for deciding to give her a bath and do her birthday cake before they went to dinner because now all he had to do was change her into her pyjamas.

He changed her quickly seeing that she was almost asleep, and tucked her into the bed.

“Did you have a good birthday baby?” Charlie asked softly, settling down next to his daughter.

Margaux just nodded in response.

“That’s good.” Charlie ran a hand through her curls. “Goodnight baby girl.”

“Big girl.” Margaux mumbled sleepily. Charlie smiled, leaning down and kissing her head.

“You might be a big girl now but you’ll always be my baby girl.” He whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too Daddy.” Margaux replied, her eyes already shut and her arms wrapped tightly around her new bear. Charlie stood up slowly and headed to the door, leaving it open a crack for a little bit of light to shine in.

He paused for a moment, just taking in the reality that Margaux was already four years old, and that she was growing up too fast. With one last look at the door he made his way down the hallway and outside to where he knew Owen was waiting.

“She’s asleep.” He announced, flopping down on the outdoor sofa next to Owen.

“I’m not shocked, she’s had a big day.” Owen replied, handing Charlie a cold beer that he had clearly gotten for him. Charlie took it thankfully, taking a large swig.

“Can you believe that she’s four already? It feels like she was only just born and I was waking up to find out that her mother was gone and that it was only me and her. It was terrifying at the time, but looking back I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He rambled. Owen rested his head on Charlie’s shoulder and Charlie wrapped his arm around the younger boy, pulling him closer.

“You should be proud of yourself Char. You’ve done an amazing job.” Owen complimented, snuggling closer to Charlie as he took a mouthful of his beer.

“You think so?” Charlie questioned. Owen nodded against his shoulder.

“I know so.” He sat up. “Margaux is the most well behaved kid I’ve ever met, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her misbehave once in all the time I’ve known her. She’s an amazing kid and it’s all because she has the most amazing father.”

“Thank you.” Charlie whispered, suddenly realising how close Owen was to him. He could feel Owen’s warm breath on his lips, and he found himself leaning in, the urge to kiss Owen overtaking his entire being. His lips brushed against Owen’s ever so slightly, but before they could properly commit to the kiss they were interrupted.

“Hey, we’re gonna play...” Tori’s voice came and they jumped apart quickly. She trailed off, eyeing them carefully. “Were you two about to kiss?”

Charlie cleared his throat. Owen’s eyes widened.

“Uh... no?” Owen lied. Tori shot them a suspicious look but clearly decided against pushing.

“Right... well we’re gonna play Cards Against Humanity if you want to join us.” She told them, before turning and heading back inside. Neither Charlie nor Owen moved, the silence was deafening. Finally Owen spoke.

“Sorry.” He muttered quickly, before standing up and rushing inside. Charlie groaned, watching him leave, the feeling of Owen’s lips still lingering on his own.

“Fuck.” He sighed, downing the last of his beer before standing up to join the rest of the group inside.

He would have to deal with the Owen situation later.

#single dad!charlie #single dad!charlie x owen #charlie gillespie #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #dad!charlie #chowen

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i-am-infinite · 4 years ago

Text

Guilt (Part 2): The Market

(Din Djarin x ForceSensitive!F!Reader)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Description: Moff Gideon has found someone else to run his experiments on and word gets back to Din. Will he take his son far away and try and find somewhere safe? Or will the guilt of an innocent being put in his son’s place eat away at him? (No Y/N or ___ used)

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: violence, mention of blood, needles, crude talk, symtoms of anxiety attack, fluff, angst, implied death and death, let me know if I'm missing any

A/N: This took a while to write because I was really distraught after Chpt 14. Also planning on turning this into a little series. I'm going to try and finish it before my next semester starts in Feb. I also don’t know how to write fight sequences so sorry in advance.

You see a stormtrooper take aim at your rescuer. Right when he pulls the trigger, you reach your hand out screaming, “NO!”

It was supposed to miss him. It missed him before. Instead of bending out of the way, it hits him and the Mandalorian goes down fast. Before you know it, more troopers come, grabbing Dr. Pershing and dragging him away. They start coming towards you when you hear yourself say, “No, please no!” You could run towards the speeders, but there’s too many of them now, they can catch up easier. Looking back at the shiny man, tears leave your eyes. You were supposes to save him. That’s how it was supposed to happen. You start screaming the only name you know for him as a stormtrooper grabs your arms and has them twisted behind your back. Dragging you back to where you escaped from, the stormtrooper is calling your name.

He keeps calling it as he shakes your arms then follows it with, “Wake up.” Why does that mechanical voice sound different from the rest? The words echo in your head. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

The stormtrooper helmets transforms into the one of the Mandalorian as you open your eyes. His hands leave your upper arms as he crouches in front of you. Still disoriented, your own hand comes up to your cheeks to shield your face when you realize it feels damp to the touch. Closing your eyes again and taking deep breathes you have to tell yourself over and over again: He’s here. I’m here. It was just a dream. Finally calmed down, you open your eyes to Mando still squatting in front of you.

“You okay?” His modulated voice says to you. Nodding your head while wiping way the last of the tears, you can’t help but feel heat rise to your cheeks, wishing you could just disappear as you sink further into the copilot chair. “You want to talk about it?” he tentatively asks next. If it were anyone else, you would’ve probably said no, but seeing his tenderness as he cared for Grogu over the past few hours in hyperspace makes you give in.

“We- we were back there, about to get on the speeders,” your heart rate picks up again thinking of it. You have no idea why the dream is affecting you this much. Continuing on with a shaky voice, “The stormtrooper, h- he shot you before I- I could- and” tears were forming in your eyes again, “and they st- started dragging me off and-” your voice suddenly barely above a whisper as you continue, “you weren’t moving.”

You shouldn’t have shared it. Oh gosh, you wish you could take it back now. He hasn’t said anything. He probably thinks you’re weak now, unable to handle yourself, let alone a nightmare. It was a stupid dream, you are about to tell him when you hear him sigh, “Give me your hand.” Confused, you hesitate, causing him to tilt his helmet to the side and hold out his hand. Giving in, you hold out your own, placing it in his still hesitant. Moving his hand down to your wrist, gripping it lightly as he moves it his chest plate, he speaks again, “Feel this? This is beskar, strong enough to withstand blaster shots. While what you did was impressive, all you stopped from happening is me having to clean my back plate later.” Your face falls at this, noticing it, he brings his other hand over yours. You feel all the heat you have left in your body run up to your face. He declares, “That dream wouldn’t have come true. You’re safe. They won’t get to you again, I promise.”

Still with your hand against the cool metal, all you can say is, “Oh. Thank you.” You wait for him to let go of your hand and wrist before you pull away, but he still hasn’t. Grogu stirs on the chair to your right, waking up after seeming to have slept through your nightmare. As if the noise startled Mando, he finally lets go and picks up his son. Clanking could be heard coming up from the ladder.

Mando sits back in the pilot chair with the little green child who keeps trying to reach for the different buttons on his lap, as Dr. Pershing also seems to have finally woken up. Coming into the cockpit carrying a discarded IV bag. Oops. Should have put that back in at some point.

Pershing comes as squats to the side of your chair, blocked off by the arm rest. “Looks like you’ve got some of your color back, which is good. Just to be safe, you should probably leave this in for longer.” Just nodding your head in response, scared your voice will falter, but now not knowing if it was from the dream or the prolonged touch of the beskar man. Or the fact that Pershing just pointed out how you’re blushing right in front of the person who caused in the first place.

Trying not to look up at Mando, due to sheer embarrassment, you fail at your task when he turns to watch Pershing with the child still on his lap. He tries to be causal of his hand on his thigh, a little too close to his blaster as the doctor gets closer to you, while Grogu plays with his fingers. Father and protector, you smile to yourself. Realizing your line of gaze, he moves his other hand to hold to his child and abruptly turns his chair towards the stars as you feel a cold pinch in your arm.

The next hour or so is spent in silence, preparing to land on who-knows-what-planet. As long as you can get off this chilly ship and descend out of the numbness of space, it doesn’t matter where. You might be being a little over-dramatic, but wearing a now torn, thin, short sleeved shirt, some sort of pants with blaster powder now littering it, and no shoes, you think you deserve the right to be just a tad dramatic. The IV bag is finally finished, so there’s one less ice-cold thing touching your skin. Still you shiver in your seat, not wanting to impose too much and ask for a blanket or a change of clothes. Hopefully wherever you get off is warm, or at least warmer.

Finally descending, you see tall, colorful structures, bright blue skies, and so much green. It’s beautiful. You can’t take your gaze off the gorgeous landscape getting larger before your eyes. Pulling your legs away from your chest, you brave the cold floor yet again to try and get a closer look. Audibly making a noise as you shiver, both men turn towards you, finally taking in your tattered appearance. With a static-y sigh, your starting to think that’s how he starts everything he says, the Mandalorian notes, “We should probably get you some better clothes.” His helmet points down to your feet, then tilts as he says, “And shoes.”

Bare feet hit the luscious green grass, toes curling and uncurling into it as you deeply inhale the fresh air. The sun hitting your skin makes you feel alive again, warming you from outside to inside. It’s as if you can feel the golden rays pouring out of you. You have never seen nature as brilliant and as vibrant as it is here, you never want to leave its warmth. Too caught up in your own little world, you don’t notice the two men start walking towards the city. Grogu babbling in Mando’s bag snaps you out of it and you slightly jog to try and catch up to them.

It takes a while to walk into the city, considering where Mando landed his ship. By the time you actually get there, your feet feel like one of the thousand rocks you’ve stepped on during this journey. The armored man barely seems to notice at first of you trailing behind, only stopping when the city is finally in view. So now to top of being cold and unequipped for this amount of walking, you are now tired. Grrrwwww. And hungry. Hopefully no one heard the atrocious noise your stomach just made. When was the last time you ate?

Mando must of heard it growl because before you can react, he tosses you a few credits and tells you to go get something to eat while he takes Pershing somewhere to set up his new life. You didn’t catch the last part because you’re already following your nose to the nearest source of food. While walking away you hear more static come out of his helmet, like he was sighing again, but it wasn’t the same as last time. It almost sounded like a laugh. Was... was he laughing at you? You whip your head around, but they’ve already disappeared. Shaking your head, you turn back and let your stomach take the lead again.

Mando and Grogu finally come back when you are all about done with this meat on a stick. They find you sitting in front of this little shop, eyes closed in bliss about finally eating. There’s barely anyone around, so it was not very hard to spot you. Finally looking up, ripping one of the last pieces off the kebob, you beam up at him. You don’t know it but seeing you happy after the events of this morning, brings a smile to the bounty hunter’s face. Offering his hand to help you stand, he asks, “Better?” You nod your head in response while he helps pull you up. Shoving he little piece of meat into your mouth, you hear his voice yet again, “What even is that?”

“I don’t know,” you counter. “All I know if that it smelled really good. Honestly if I knew what it was, I probably wouldn’t be able to eat it,” you finish with a giggle. He just nods, still without you seeing the smile planted on his face. You two walk side by side going into the city, with Grogu in a bag on his father’s hip of course.

You can hear the main part of the city before you actually see it. People are bustling, vendors litter the streets, it’s astonishing. And overwhelming, very overwhelming. Your breath hitches as you recall that a vendor was the way they found you before. But no, no you’re safe with the Mandalorian, he said they wouldn’t get to you. No, that he wouldn’t let them get to you. Without noticing, you start walking closer to Mando, more into his personal space than he usually likes. You’re close enough to graze his hand while walking, and right now you desperately want to reach out and grab it. Okay, it’s okay, just focus on your breathing, in and out, in and out.

Too busy trying to calm yourself, you don’t notice Mando look over at you after he felt you invade his space. He whispers to you, “Are you okay?” but the volume is too much to get his question to your ears. Instead he lightly puts his hand at the small of your back, causing you to slightly jump. Looking around, your line of vision finally falls on the bounty hunter’s arm, now removed from your back, moving back towards his side. A blush creeps up to your cheeks as your realize that he noticed you. Pull it together. You manage to walk only a few more feet until someone bumps into you and instinct takes over as you grab onto something to steady yourself. The thing that happens to be is Mando’s arm.

Luckily, he extends it behind your back to steady you, but not before sending the poor soul that accidentally bumped you what can only assumed is a death glare. That poor man turns as pale as a ghost. You almost forgot how menacing he could be. You’ve only been on the receiving end of Mando’s protection and don’t want to know what the opposite would be like. You two continue to walk with his arm guiding you, until you see it. Shoes. You nearly forgot about the pain in your feet until you saw them. Hand no longer on your back, you hurry forward, leaving the now frenzied and confused Mandalorian behind.

Reaching the stand, you turn to find Mando with his hand on his blaster and his bucket of a helmet frantically looking around the area for a sign of danger. The T of his visor finally looks back at you and you just mouth to him, shoes! and then point at your bare feet. He tilts his head to the side and you just know that he sighed. Shaking your head, you let out a huff of air that resembles a laugh at his signature way of expressing himself.

Before you know it, you have new shoes, already on your feet, a few shirts and two pairs of pants. Mando insisted you have layers because who knows where they might end up. This begs the question, what kind of trouble has he gotten into before, better yet what trouble are you getting yourself into? Babbles from a hidden baby remind you that maybe the trouble is worth it.

The shiny man and you continue walking around the marketplace of the city. He said he wanted to see if they had any spare parts that he could use for the Razor Crest and you were just happy to be wearing boots and having the extra time to break them in. “You can go look around if you want, I’m going to be over here,” Mando states as he inspects some round, gear-looking thing. Figuring you’d get bored of the mechanical items, you go to wander. “Hey,” the modulated voice cuts through again, “stay close.” Nodding, you only go two booths down to look at the books laid out.

Eyes scan to find anything remotely related to this thing, this power, you and Grogu possess. In the back of your mind also knowing you’re searching for something to tell you more about Mandalorian culture, as you have become intrigued by your new companion. While looking, something shiny, much like Mando, catches your eye. Turning to the next booth, the item seems to be a hair pin. You freeze.

A flower hair pin. Pearl in the center, with gray and white iridescent petals. No, no, no, no this can’t be happening. It feels like you can’t get enough air into your lungs. Your legs feel like lead, but you need to get out of there, you have to. The table has more unfinished glass pieces there too, just like before. They can find you. They can get you. They can get the baby. No that can’t happen, you force your tense legs to move as your hands shake. Backing up away from the stand, you bump into the book stand, letting a stack of books fall into the dirt. “Sorry, sorry,” you say with an unsteady voice. You need to find Mando, you need to find the baby, you need to -

Hands grab the back of your shoulders, as you think it’s over. You try to shake them off when you’re turned around to a familiar T visor. You stop fighting against him and grab his forearms. Your breathing still hasn’t slowed as he asks with a sternness you haven’t heard from him, “What happened?”

You can’t think of how to explain with your mind and heart racing and can only answer with, “We need to get out of here.” He pesters why to better understand the situation but all you can answer with is, “please,” as tears threaten to spill. “We need to get out of here please Mando.” He looks around confused, trying to find any source of danger, but turns his attention back to you when your grip tightens and you try to pull the three of you out of there.

He lets you lead him to the edge of the city, back towards the green scenery you landed in. Finally stopping you with his hands on your shoulders again, he calls your name, “You need to tell me what is going on.” Taking a few breaths trying to compose yourself, you explain how the day before you were taken, you were at a shop similar to the one you were at. How you saw this hair pin then cut your hand while the person working tried to help you clean up. Explaining how you thought nothing of it, until you realized they wanted your blood for experiments. You barely make it through telling him that you saw the same set up with the hair pin at that booth.

“That’s how they must have found me. We need to get out of here before they recognize us, please,” you plead. His helmet hangs down low as he slides one hand down to take your hand and begins walking back towards the ship.

Arriving back at the ship, Mando hands you the bag filled with new clothes, “Go change, I’ll take care of this.” Just thinking he meant to fly the three of you off the planet, you go into the ‘fresher and get ready to take off far away from here. Finally dressed and hearing the latch close, you climb up to the cockpit. Grogu gurgles and makes grabby hands for you to pick him up from the co-pilot seat. While doing so, you realize the pilot seat is empty.

“Where’s your dad, huh little one?” you coo at him. You called out to Mando to get no response. Attempting to climb down the ladder with the child wasn’t easy, especially still worried from before. You call out to Mando again, this time more frantic as he’s nowhere to be found. Your hear rate increase as you search the ship. Pressing the button you think would open the latch of the ship does nothing. What? did he lock you in here? You open some cabinets to be met with his armory. Picking up a blaster, you start rambling to the kid, “Your dad won’t mind right? Yeah, he’d want you protected. I won’t need to use it, but just in case. Yeah, just in case. Why don’t we also hang out in the cockpit away from the doors? Sound good?” You’re only met with muffled babbles back as Grogu sticks his stubby hand in his mouth. “Yeah, we’re going to be okay. Nothing is going to happen.” You hope.

Back in the city, Din is looking for a stand that has this... hair pin? Does he even know what one of those looks like? He’ll figure it out, you knocked some books over, so he decides he’ll start there. Unfortunately for Din, most of the vendors are closing down their booths. Dank farrik. He’s got to move quickly before they’re all closed.

Speed walking, he comes across the same man working the booth Din was at before you panicked. He asks the man if he knows if there is a booth that sells this item, and thankfully he points Din in the right direction. Four booths down. The people who wanted his child, and now you, could’ve been four booths down from him and he had no idea. Now’s not the time to beat himself up over this, he needs answers. Stalking up to the table, he’s met with a young man cleaning up the stand. Without looking up the man says, “What can I help you with?” Din’s hand ghosts over the pin you described to him and sees the many broken pieces scattered on the table.

“Seems a little... unsafe having all of these around,” Din observes while now moving around the table. The man finally looking up, goes white in the face and begins to run. Why do they always think they can outrun me? Chasing the man down an alley, Din uses his grappling hook around his feet and the man goes tumbling to the ground. Grabbing him by the collar to face him. Anger laced through his modulated voice, “Did you follow us?”

“Nope, just the lucky bastard that happened to be on the same planet as you,” He spits out. Din notices that he moves his jaw to the side, but the man continues, “Don’t worry they’ll find you and the child soon. Oh, and I’m sure the troopers will have a good time with that pretty little girl you have once they get their hands on her.” Before Din can land a hand on this guy, he bites down on something and there’s electricity everywhere, just like he saw with Bo Katan. Din barely jumps off the man in time. Now full of adrenaline and anger he stands there for a few seconds thinking of his next move. Kriff. He needs to get back to you and his son.

You are sitting on the cold floor of the cockpit, with Grogu on your lap, hand hovering the blaster that is next to you on the ground. Banging coming from the Crest makes you jump. It sounds like the hatch opens, so you clutch Grogu closer and pick up the blaster as you stand up. The pram is still in the cockpit, so you put the baby that is pulling your hair in and close it. Going to the opening between the levels, with shaky hands, you raise the blaster and wait. Clanging can be heard when you finally hear Mando call your name and the kid’s.

Hopping down the ladder, blaster still in hand, you smile at him as he stands still. “What the hell are you doing with that,” he barks at you. You stand there dumbfounded, he’s the one that left you in the ship with his child. He should be glad your first thought was to protect him. He continues with his hands on his hips, “Do you even know how to use that?”

Still startled, you stammer, “You just- point and shoot?” With that his hands go up in astonishment and back down again, almost as if he’s saying, are you kriffing kidding me? Why is he so angry right now?

“You’re - you’re the one that left me, that left us here,” you point back up to the cockpit, “I didn’t know if someone else could get in or not. Why are you so angry at me for trying to protect your son?”

“You could have shot him or yourself, you don’t even know how to use it,” his voice raises and he takes it out of your hand.

“I’m not the one that left us here defenseless!” you scream. Both of you stand there for second huffing at each other. Finally thinking a little bit more rationally, you ask, “Where did you even go?”

Pushing past you, he put something in your hand, “I took care of it.” He climbs the ladder as you look. The hair pin. He took care of it? He took care of it. Your face falls thinking of what that means. Following him back up, you take Grogu from the pram and place him on your hip.

“You took care of it?” you say astonished, “Care to elaborate?” Mando sits in the pilot chair already plotting a new location.

“No.” Your eyes go wide as he spins the chair to face you. “I’m flying us out of here and I-,” his hands go up in defeat, “I need to eat. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to come up.” He sounds less angry but still very annoyed. At this point you’re fuming. You spin on your heels with Grogu playfully slapping his little 3-fingered hand across your face for attention.

You leave the cockpit and grab two food packets on the crate before the ladder opening. Stuffing them in your pocket, you try to maneuver yet again down the ladder with a baby clinging to you. Hopping off the last wrung, you go to sit on the crates you woke up on. Opening the packets, you help feed Grogu his.

Why was he so mad? If anything, he should be thankful that you were being resourceful. And after the past couple of days you think you deserve the right to be a little worked up about things like this. The anger is fueling you right now. It keeps spiraling, you can feel the darkness surround you. This used to happen when you were younger. Your emotions would almost devour you whole. Luckily your mother would always tell you, it’s okay to have these emotions but don’t let them consume you. She would lead you through some breathing exercises to help you calm down. Oh, you wish she were here with you right now to help. Could she have known about this ability you have? That’s not important right now, you need to breath and calm down. While doing so, you feel two little hands come and rest on your chest, as to help you relax more. Playing with his ears, the weight of the day starts to set in. You feel your eyes start to droop and before you know it, you’re asleep yet again.

Din holds his head in his hands. He shouldn’t have snapped. He knows this. It’s just knowing that Moff Gideon and his Imps could be anywhere in the galaxy trying to find others like the two Jedi he seemed to have collected. Are you even a Jedi? He still has no idea how this even works. Din shakes his head trying to clear it of what that man said. The anger boils up in him thinking of what he said about you, about their hands on you. He wishes he could’ve gotten a few punches in on him. He got out easy.

He’d do anything to protect Grogu, he knows it and they know it. But now with you in the equation? He’s terrified. He doesn’t know what he got himself into with now both of you under his protection. You don’t know this but he saw you peeking through the opening, with your hands shaking holding the blaster and with such fear in your eyes. A pain springs up in his chest just thinking of it. Looking up towards the door, he thinks it might be time for him to stop hiding and time to go apologize for his behavior. He did just leave without explaining. You also have just been kidnapped and rescued in a matter of days. He sighs, remembering what you have gone through, and now with the reminder in the city. He should have been a little calmer and not taken out his frustrations out on you.

Putting his helmet back on, he opens the cockpit doors and climbs down the ladder again, only to hear soft snores. There you are with your back against the wall, with Grogu in your lap. Grogu’s eyes open and he starts to make, very slow, sleep filled, grabby hands at his dad. Carefully taking the baby out of your arms, he opens up his own bunk and places the child in his little hammock. Quiet babbling is directed at him and Din responds, “I know, I know, I’m getting her a pillow and blanket.”

Moving back over towards you with those items in hand, he places the pillow in its spot and carefully shifts you into a lying position, bringing your legs up onto the crates. After placing the blanket over you, Din moves the fallen pieces of hair out of your face. You look so peacefully, he can’t help but stare. Finally, he sighs, “I guess I better teach you how to shoot then.”

Taglist: @rogueheretic555 @heythere-mel @dancingwiththeplanets @ohpedromypedro

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starksvixen · 4 years ago

Text

Best Shot - Part 4

Warnings: lotta angst, poor medical description, tooth rotting fluff

Word Count: 1519

A/N - There is some descriptive writing about being awake during surgery. This scene will take place in italics. If scenes like this make you squeamish, skip past the italicized part.

Prologue - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 (finale)

-~-

He could hear your screams from the waiting room, making more tears fall with each tortured yelp. Why couldn’t they just sedate you? Give you some kind of pain management?

As if some other worldly power heard him, your echoes of pain no longer bounced towards him. Jay’s cries turned to sobs, his hands grasped so tight in front of his face his knuckles were white. Ruzek gently clapped his shoulder, along with the rest of the squad that surrounded the lone Halstead.

“She’s a fighter, Jay. I’m sure she’s okay,” he mumbles, trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Jay wishes with everything he has that Adam was right. That Rhodes had just put you under to spare you the pain. But there was a small voice, like a demon on his shoulder, saying that you had left him. That you were gone.

So as soon as Will entered the waiting area, covered in your blood, he held his breath. Everyone that was there for you did. When Will sat beside his brother, tears began to form in preparation for the worst.

“The, uh,” Will sighs. “The bullet was through and through. Only nicked a few arteries and Dr. Rhodes is stitching up the arteries right now. She might scream some more because she refused sedation.”

“Wait, without sedation? Why didn’t she want sedation?” Jay asks quickly.

“That’s something you’ll have to ask her once we move her up into recovery.”

“When can I see her?” Jay says while wiping what was left of his tears.

“Well, Natalie just has a few more tests to run after the surgery and then I’ll take you to her.” Will says while standing up. “She got really lucky, more then you know right now.”

Once he walks away, the entire district was in a kerfuffle over Will’s vagueness about your refusal of sedation.

“Who does he think he is? Sherlock Holmes? We deserve to know.” Ruzek says to the group.

“Yeah, well it’s obvious she didn’t want us to know something.” Jay snaps.

The whole room fell silent.

-(Y/N)’s POV-

The bounce from the stretcher sent pain racing through our abdomen, waking you up from your blood loss induced sleep. Once your eyes opened, you saw tears racing down Jay’s face as he sat on the ambo. You tried to sit up, tried to get to him and tell him you were okay. But the pain and a hand on your chest was a gruesome reminder.

“Let’s get 100 milligrams of Fentanyl in her stat and a bedside ultrasound,” Connor says as he wheels you into the trauma room.

“On my count. 1, 2, 3,”

Shaky hands lift your back board and lay you on the bed. All you can think to do is scream as your wound is hit multiple times in the tussle. Your vest is removed and your shirt is cut off swiftly with scissors. Through your blurry vision, you see Will and another doctor enter, gloves at the ready. The women takes the ultrasound wand from Connor as Will tries to place in an iv in your arm.

“Bullet is through and through,” Connor says.

“No free fluid in the belly,” the other doctor says before moving the wand lower. “Wait, hold the fentanyl.”

“Natalie, she needs it.” Will says as you feel a needle pierce your skin, adding onto the pile of pain your body was vibrating from.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), did you know you were pregnant?”

“No, no fucking way,” you mumble as you shake harder, only increasing your pain.

“Alright, (Y/N),” you hear Connor say. Turning your head, you can see the worry in his eyes.

“You are pregnant. Now I can give you a lower dose of fentanyl and I can get you under mild anesthesia. But I need to repair your wound or you and the baby will die.”

Everything begins to blur around you, but one thing stands out through the fog. You were going to protect your baby no matter what.

“Give me the lowest dose you can give me,” you whimper. “No sedation.”

“(Y/N)-”

“You heard me Connor!” you say as the pain spreads up, making it feel like you can’t breathe.

“Alright, call my team and take her to the Hybrid OR. Natalie, scrub in, I need you to keep an eye on that fetus.”

Connor and Natalie disappear out of the room as Will sticks you with yet another needle. Quickly, he wheels you in your bed into the OR. With the help of some nurses, he gets you on the operating table.

“Do you want me to tell Jay?” he asks.

“No,” you say while swallowing back whatever was left in your mouth. Will simply nods and leaves the room as Natalie and Connor enter.

“Alright, (Y/N), this is going to hurt but I need you to stay as still as possible. If you flinch and I knick another artery it’s game over for you two.” he says to, preparing what he needed to begin.

All you could do was nod, the pain and exhaustion beginning to overtake your already weak and fragile body.

That’s when you felt the first cut.

Searing pain on top of what already was unbearable spreads across your skin like fire ants on the hunt. You scream out, the only option you have as you force your body to stay as still as possible.

“(Y/N), the baby’s heart rate is increasing because of the pain. It’s safer for both of you to go under light sedation. I promise it won’t hurt it.” Natalie says to you, her worried eyes peering through into your soul.

You can only nod with a sob as Natalie gets to work. At the same time yet another needle pierces your skin, you feel cold metal digging into your chest. You’re out of energy to scream, all you can do is cry, ensuring your chest doesn’t bounce with each passing sob.

As you watch the needle disappear into your chest cavity, you prepare yourself to feel the pain once more. Thanks to the sedation, you finally didn’t feel a thing, but your body stayed tensed up as always.

After about a half an hour, you were closed up and waiting to be transferred to the recovery room. Connor sits beside you in the tiny ER room, his cap and mask in hand as he looks at you.

“Is it mine?”

Your breath hitches in your throat. What if it was? Back there, you automatically thought that the baby belonged to Jay, failing to remember about your adventures with Connor.

“I don’t know,” you croak. “If it is?”

“That’s up to you.”

You sigh to the amount your chest lets you. Things were finally right with Jay, you were in love and happy. Of course this happens now, something to take your happiness away.

“Dr. Rhodes? Can I have a moment with (Y/N)?” you hear Natalie say from the entrance to the cramped room.

“Yeah,” Connor says before standing up. “Just keep me updated.”

Natalie only nods as he leaves, you chuckling at her curtness towards him. She looks towards you and smiles, pulling the ultrasound machine over once more.

“Really? Him?” she says teasingly. You keep your chuckles soft to avoid more pain, but through your exhaustion you smile.

“What can I say? He was available.”

Looking down at her hand, you spot a ring on her finger, the one Jay had shown you many times on the anniversary of his Mom’s death. The one Will had taken for his special person.

“You’re Will’s fiancée?” you ask as you watch her hit a few buttons on the machine beside you two.

“Yeah, you must be Jay’s best friend then.” she replies before gently lifting up your gown.

“Not so much anymore,” you say with a bit of glum.

“I’m sure the baby won’t get in the way,” she reassures.

“That’s no-”

You’re interrupted by the sound of your baby’s heartbeat. Uncontrollable tears spring to your eyes once she turns the screen for you to see your tiny blip. Gently, you lay a hand over your mouth to hide your smile, not believing that there was another human inside you that somehow, you would do anything for already.

“The baby looks completely healthy, despite everything. They look to be about 7 weeks along.” Natalie says to you with a smile.

You run a hand through your hair, quickly doing the math in your head. The last time you and Connor slept together was well over 7 weeks at that point. You and Jay...well.

“It’s not Connor’s.” you reply with a soft sigh in relief.

With a smirk, Natalie sends a few photos to be printed before cleaning you up and taking you up to recovery. Once she gets you set up, ensuring everything was in working order, she walks towards the doorway. Before she leaves, she turns back towards you.

“Do you want me to bring Jay up?” she asks.

You nod softly as you gently lay a shaking hand on your abdomen. It was time for your blip to me it’s daddy.

Tag List: (leave a comment to be added)

shipshipshipau panaitbeatrice annaallicce ikleesfiction nocturnalherb16 weepingfestivalmentality

#jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #connor rhodes #connor rhodes x reader #conner rhodes imagine #one chicago #chicago pd #chicago med #reader insert #(y/n)

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delaneytveit · 4 years ago

Text

Satellites Part 2

hey guys, so here is the continuation I wrote for my Lance fic. Poor boy goes through so much during his birthday month. I also posted up to part 3 on AO3, including a chapter not on here that shows how Lance got captured in the first place. So if you want to find that out, though its not really necessary to the story, go check it out!

ALSO please read the tags for tw there are a few in this part

The team stood in shocked silence. No one daring to move, nor speak. The transmission had cut out almost as soon as Lance had finally given in and answered the interrogator. Now all that remained was a black screen.

It was Shiro who had finally broken the silence, a single word leaving his lips. The sound enough to break even the strongest hearts. “Lance.”

It seemed the sound had struck something in Keith, as without a word, he stormed out of the room. Shiro knew without a doubt his brother was going straight to the training room, prepared to decimate as many training bots as possible.

It had been three quintants since the team had received the transmission. Three quintants in which not a single team member slept, nor did they want to. The sight of Lance being forced to endure such horror, the sound of his screams, haunted all of them. How could any of them rest when their blue paladin was being subjected to far worse than they had ever imagined.

What haunted Hunk the most though, wasn’t the screams, or the seizing body of his best friend. But his eyes. Those soft, ocean blue eyes that were built for comfort and warmth, that held a lightness to them in a way that only Lance could possess. Those weren’t the eyes that Hunk had seen in the video. The blue was cold as ice, a darkness that threatened to consume you any moment. He knew from those eyes that what they were seeing was only the tip of the iceberg to what Lance was being subjected to.

Getting Lance would be a battle, but bringing him back to who he was before being a captive would be damn near impossible.

+++

Lance woke up back in his cell. His body on fire as it reminded him of the events that had played out earlier. He attempted to push himself up, at least to a sitting position, but his arms refused. It wasn’t like he would have been able to remain vertical anyways, the spinning in his head simply laying down was enough to have him retching again. No doubt he had a concussion...again.

God what he wouldn’t give for a few painkillers and a glass of water. When was the last time he had water? He couldn’t remember. Probably before he had even left the castle. He didn’t know how long it had been since then, it felt like years since he’d last been in the cold comfort of the castleship. In his own bed, wrapped in his blankets with his head laid gently on a soft satin pillow.

It felt like a lifetime ago, though he knew logically it couldn’t have been more than a few days. His friends would never leave him for longer, right? They had to be finding a way to get him, planning and calculating the risks. Trying to find a way to bring him back.

As much as he wanted to believe that they would though, there was still that much too loud voice in his head. The one telling him that they probably didn’t even notice that he was gone. That they probably liked the fact that there was no one to constantly annoy them.

It would probably be easier for them to just find a whole new paladin. Why not? There was bound to be someone out there who could take over. Someone who was a better pilot, a better shot, a better fighter. Someone deserving of actually being a paladin.

Someone who wasn’t him.

Before he could reprimand himself for even possessing such a thought, a sharp pain spread through his entire body, starting at his stomach. He grounded loudly into the floor as he attempted to bring his arms up to wrap them around himself to no avail. All he could do was lay there motionless and in pain. Waiting and praying to black out again.

When he next woke up, he was no longer in a cell. Instead strapped to a table. An IV had been inserted into his arm. He followed the tube with hesitant eyes before they caught sight of the murky grey colour of whatever was being dripped into his bloodstream.

Whatever it was, he didn’t have a good feeling about it.

He was feeling even more vertigo that before when he first woke up in the cell, and his breaths were coming out too slow for his liking. He looked around the room, knowing it was probably the same room he had been brought into earlier when the druids attempted to pry information out of him. They received nothing, though not for lack of trying. He shivered at the memory, still much too vivid in his mind.

What he didn’t remember was the colours of the room. Did they always swim like that? Move like a kaleidoscope? He was sure they didn’t and staring in one place for too long threatened to upset his painfully empty stomach.

Nothing about his existence in that room was painless. It seemed every nerve ending in his body was alight with it, and it caused his body to shake tremendously despite the confinements.

He laid there for what felt like hours before the door finally opened, a druid emerging in their customary purple robes. But the purple didn’t look like the one he knew, instead it was more vibrant, neon maybe? And patterned with such awkward colours that it made his head swim again. No, that wasn’t right. The druids wore plain purple, right?

He chalked up his hallucination to an effect of whatever was in that IV.

He heard the druid speak, but the words refused to register. A mix of sounds and grunts that he knew wasn’t right, but his brain refused to decode. He was lost in thought, trying to discern exactly what the druid had said when he felt such an excruciating pain that he was sure he would pass out any second.

Looking over at his outstretched arm, he could see his hand impaled by something, a knife? No, it was green and gold and pink and bended in such a weird way. He watched with wide eyes as the druid withdrew the object completely, only to plunge it back in. He screamed, but it didn’t sound like a scream. It didn’t sound like anything. He knew he screamed, his throat was on fire with the exertion of it, but the sound didn’t reach his ears.

Yup, that was definitely a knife, and the IV was pumping him full of some kind of hallucinogenic drugs.

He probably should have guessed that. He was no stranger to such, he had been known to go to a rave every once in a while. But holy crap is this what a bad trip is? No wonder people completely fucking lost it.

He watched as the druid studied his hand, the knife still fully sheathed inside of it. He knew without a doubt that the knife was pinning his hand to the table. His mind was racing, and his eyes followed them.

He was going to die here.

They were going to tear him apart.

He was never supposed to be a paladin, he should have stayed on Earth.

What would happen once they got tired of tormenting him? Would they kill him? Would they throw him into the arena and hope some blood thirsty monster would finish the job? Would they dissect him like he was a lab rat? Would they experiment on him? Would they replace all of his limbs with metal prosthetics? Would they take out organs? Sell them? His eyes? His liver? His hands?

He was spiraling, he knew that but he couldn’t stop.

Would his friends rescue him? Would they hate him for getting captured? Think he’s incompetent for being unable to comlete such a simple mission? Allura would chastise him for sure? Would she kick him out? Force him to find his own way home? How would they look at him if they found him? With pity? With disgust? With hatred? They hated him, they had too.

He was the paladin they needed the least. The most useless. The one that they had to go out of their way to save. He shouldn’t even have been there. Maybe killing him would be a mercy? Too good of a mercy maybe? Did he even deserve that much?

He almost didn’t feel the next knife, the one that now impaled his left hand. Almost. He let out an involuntary scream, the pain the only thing that broke him from his spiralling mind. He prayed to black out, to let this be over just for a moment.

The druid walked to where his head lay, placing a long skeleton like finger over his lips, clearly an attempt to silence him. Was he talking? He had no idea. He looked up at the mask covered face that hung before him, eyes wide with a terror he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide. He watched as they brought both hands to his head, felt the spider like things touch his temples, causing him to flinch away, but with no where to go they remained. They were gentle, soft, their motions more relaxing than they should be. Were they massaging him? No that wasn’t right.

He didn’t have time to finish that thought, as his entire body seized in the most excruciating pain he had ever felt. His entire body arched up off of the table as the druid held his head down. He wasn’t sure if it had stopped, or if he simply blacked out, but the sight of the druid standing above him, pushing his head further into the metal table, and the intense pain that came from their fingers was the last thing he remembered.

#voltron lance #lance serrano #langst #tw // gore #tw// torture #drug use #mention of recreational #but also #non consensual drug use #my poor boy #I swear I love you #it builds character I promise #I love two blue bois and lance is one of them

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splendidshinobi · 4 years ago

Text

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 26-30

been awhile since i’ve watched but.... another day, another emotional rollercoaster

episode 26: her reason

who’s her and what’s her reason

bother him ALLLLL you want maria ross...bother him all day long

he deserves it

INVOICE HAHAHAHAHA

dont yell at maria fuck off!!!!

GIRLY WHAT IS IZUMI DOING!!!!!!!!

i screamed i did

i love sig and izumi sm!!!!!!

omg ed and al’s faces

PANINYAAAAAAA

why does she have an automail arm whAT

i feel almost insulted for paninya’s dope weapon legs

oh wait ive seen this arm wrestling scene before lmao

go paninya goooo

i do not tolerate this mr dominic slander

OH NO DO NOT INSULT QUEEN WINRY’S WORK

sucks to suck!!!!

i do think winry may have just fallen in love

ed is such a simp though

JUMBO????? his name iS JUMBO??????

al’s mousy little what?

yikes yeah you know what winry id be pissed too

she felt so good about her work!!!

crush over

jk theyre soulmates

wow roy ur so smart

damn oh ok they kept paninya’s legs too

so she only has 1 biological limb wow

paninya is definitely a lesbian

we’ve all known that though i mean-----the camo pants

i saw paninya wearing army pants and flip flops, so i bought army pants and flip flops

oh my god winry you DEVIOUS BASTARD

i can see why people ship paninya and winry but im sorry im an edwin simp

young pinako is hot i get it dominic

OH MY GOD DEVIOUS

WINRY LMAO

GUN LEGS!

kill him?? pANINYA think about that before you shoot someone!!!

AWWWWWW ED!!!! “best automail in the world!!!!” IM CRYING

“hello sir” alphonse you sweet boy

sheska u good???

OPE HEY CURTISES

ed why are you sad

omg winry dont cry!!!!

hahahaha sig

THE BOYS’ FACES LMAO

episode 27: teacher

izumi time lets gooooooooooooo

the ominous music lolololol

THE WINDOW

WHERE IS ALPHONSE

RIGHT THERE

ED’S FUCKING FACE HAHAHAHA

grumman!!!!!

STEW TONIGHT FUCK YEAH

xerxes drop

edward you are being so foreboding

izumi queen of my life lets go girl!!!

umbrella king sig curtis!!!

ed you dumbass!!!!!

angry face boys

mom dad and the kids on the train!!!! makes me cry

awww win’s gonna miss the dudes

omg havoc plzzzz

why is he calling riza like she doesnt already know shes going too

do not leave my boy falman behind!!!

oh good ok

mason my dude!!!

“yes maam”

this is UNCOMFORTABLE

guys i simp for sig tbh

omg al scary boy

uh oh she SAWWWWWWW you!!!

aww i forgot about the dead cat goddamnit

not THE KITTY

ok but those baby kittens need some MELK

its all over for you two watch out

cant hide JACK SHIT from mama bear

yikes

she gonna kick your ass oof

hugs oh thats nice

episode 28: all is one, one is all

island timeeee

wait theyre on island time PART 2???? ok

the way sig’s HAND---- anyway

ok so creepy naked child??

im suspicious

clearly the boys didnt read my hero academia

or the three musketeers

al really got YEETED

yote?

oh the kid has clothes on. leaf clothes

i know dublith is in the “south” but is it really a tropical locale?

aww the bunny

“kill it”

owie hope you dont get rabies edward

the ost man so good for both series

al really said J’ACCUSE

they didnt know the masked man was mason the first time around? aight

im really having trouble typing and eating dumplings at the same time

might pause for a dumpling break

i made these in the microwave theyre pretty good

def not the best ive had but they were, ya know, microwaved

anyways sad al hours

YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER????

it’s the circle of life simba

getting REAL philosophical rn

“dont call me small”

now we’re getting REAL scientific

im just imagining these idiots on shrooms rn

mannnnnnnnnnnn

WAIT IMAGINE LING YAO ON SHROOMS

wow what a yummy snake breakfast

izumi said 👁 👄 👁

izumi is so hot

that is the creepiest motherfucker i ever did see

ok im gonna go rinse this dish out be back in a min!!!

episode 29: the untainted child

i am the tainted adult

you SURE his parents are lookin?

i feel like izumi is being very loving towards this child

what happened to tough love bbygirl

im not saying shes not loving in her ways but shouldnt she by nature be a litttttleeee bit more sus of this kid???

dont tell me

this is sig and izumi’s “child”

theory pending

winry is such a protective lil egg

here’s whats cookin in my head

its sig and izumi’s child and ed’s arm and leg smooshed together into a homunculus...theory still pending but im definitely right

WHY DOES SIG SLEEP W HIS EYES OPEN SIR!!!!!!!

whole situation is a mess my dudes

what did u do kid?????

“i know ed lies sometimes”

l oh fucking l

who transmutes themselves with a bed though

not the move kid

OPE

of course winry slept through this whole thing

sheska and elicia and gracia. my heart.

did the colonel just LEAVE HER BEHIND? god what a dick

sheska WENT OFFFFFFFF!!!!!!

yes maam!!!!!!!

u tell that dumbass!!!!!!

why does envy have to sit like that

gon make me SIMP

embarrassing

*debby ryan hair tuck meme*

i love the way al sits

hes so dainty

what a gent

oh that lil kid was in the gate!!!!

how a homunculus is born? please tell me more

ARCHER....my sister was texting me about him when she asked how far i was. i googled him i saw his....bod....

yup

ARM AND LEG CONFIRMED

my brain waves are unparalleled

ED REALLY JUST YEETED WINRY AND KABEDONED THE HOMUNCULUS

EDWARD STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP OMG

off goes the kid

BIDOOOOOOOOOOO <3

why is she upset??? what did you realize izumi

that its your baby??? probs

im just that smart

episode 30: assault on south headquarters

YOKI LMAO

seeing yoki and scar makes me miss mei chang

MEI CHANG SUPREMACY

yoki really about to snitch

BIDOOOOOO

everyone showing up this episode

greed is gonna roll up with a venti frappuccino any minute now

archer is a creep

is this footage from the arnold classic?

“the muscles did the talking for them”

archer is a creep

who ru calling a freak HAHA AL’s angwy voice

ope

how IS hughes doing

pls not the pain

how did this kid come into the corporeal world

armstrong what

OUROBOROS

so he’s either wrath or pride ig

i dont think bradley is a homunculus in this one

yoki is basically michael yagoobian aka the bowler hat guy

there’s greed lmao

with the ladies

EW NO PLEASE GOD

I DONT WANT ANY MORE SHOU TUCKER

KIMBLEE WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK WHO CUT HIS HAIR LIKE THAT

WHO ALLOWED THAT I AM CHOKING

NOT THE MULLET PONYTAIL

izumi taking on the military

of course

kimblee JESUS

bradley is EVERYWHERE at ALL TIMES

this is rOUGH

there are so many parties vying for the kid

i still cant get over kimblee like WHAT

WHAT IS HIS PURPOSE HERE

AGAIN it just seems like bradley is everywhere at all times

#carol watches fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #carol's remaining brain cells #hi!!!!!#back w reactz #yay

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robinskey · 5 years ago

Text

Miracle (Billy Hargrove x Reader)

A/N: This idea randomly came to me, and I spent most of my day working on it. I don’t write for Billy much, but I 100% feel his character deserved better, so...here’s my attempt at rewriting the canon.

Warnings: Season 3 spoilers, mention of blood, a bit of angst and swearing

Billy should have died last night.

As you sit in the little folding chair next to his hospital bed, you can’t stop that thought from crossing your mind. By all means, Billy Hargrove should not have survived the injuries he sustained from the Mind Flayer. You’d watched as the monster’s tentacles had punctured holes through Billy’s abdomen, like a pencil stabbed through a piece of notebook paper. By the time you and Max had gotten to him, the bleeding wounds had stained his once-white tank top bright crimson.

You’d uttered a string of expletives before screaming at someone to call an ambulance. You tried tying your jacket around his midsection, unsuccessfully attempting to stop the bleeding. Like most high school students, you didn’t know much about first aid. The only thing you knew was that you would not let this boy bleed out in your arms.

Across from you, Max gazed at her stepbrother will tear-filled eyes. He stared back.

“I’m sorry, Max. I wish-I wish I could have been a better brother,” he said, his voice soft and strained, barely audible over the police sirens blaring outside the mall. Billy’s arm hung limp at his side, and Max placed her small, freckled hand over his. Then, he turned to you. “Thank you-for everything.”

“Don’t talk like you’re dying, Billy, because you’re not,” you’d said through clenched teeth. “Hold on. Help will be here soon.” You tugged at the sleeves of your jacket with shaking fingers, tightening its hold on Billy’s stomach.

“Y/N,” he said with as much force as he could muster.

It came out as a grunt, but it was enough to draw your attention. He watched you with unblinking baby blues-the same color as the ocean that he loved so dearly-the one you knew he wanted to see again. The one he would see again.

“Let me go.”

Your voice was hoarse, strained by the tears you were trying to repress. “You know I can’t do that.”

And you didn’t. You kept pressure on Billy’s wounds until the EMTs arrived, and you held his hand until they loaded him onto the ambulance.

“He’s going to live, right?” you frantically asked one man in scrubs.

The man hesitated before answering, “I can’t tell you that, miss. It’s a miracle he’s survived this long.”

A miracle.

Those words echoed in your mind as you jumped into your station wagon, stomped on the gas, and chased the ambulance all the way to the hospital. They permeated your thoughts as you paced the waiting room, uttering words of encouragement to Max and small prayers to the universe, to God-whoever would listen. (You’d never been a particularly religious person, but you figured Billy could use whatever help he could possibly get.)

A kind nurse asked if there was anyone she could contact for you. Surprisingly, despite how recently the family had moved to Hawkins, she managed to find “Hargrove” in the phonebook. She handed the phone to you, and you dialed the number. It rang several times before a husky voice answered.

“Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any,” the man on the other end of the line slurred. Then, he slammed the phone down on the receiver.

After several excruciating hours of surgery, a doctor emerged from behind a set of metal double doors. She wore a white lab coat and an unreadable expression. Her eyes scanned over the paper on her clipboard.

“William Hargrove?”

You stood still for the first time in hours. Max, who had slumped over in the armchair, perked up. You wanted to make your way over to her, take her hand in yours-but you couldn’t move. Your feet felt like they’d been covered in cement.

“Is he...” You couldn’t bring yourself to verbalize the awful thought.

“In recovery,” the doctor said. “The surgery went well. We managed to close his wounds relatively quickly, but he’d already lost a lot of blood, so we had to do a transfusion. You’ll be able to visit him in a few minutes.”

A melting pot of emotions bubbled to the surface, all fighting for control of your mind. You couldn’t think, let alone speak. Fortunately, Max managed to choke out a sentence:

“Billy’s going to be okay?”

A soft smile tugged at the woman’s bare lips as she offered a small nod.

“He’ll need to stay here for a few days, just so we can monitor his vitals and make sure none of the wounds reopen,” she said, eyes returning to scan the information on her clipboard. “Mr. Hargrove got really lucky, though. Despite how many punctures his attacker dealt, they managed to miss every one of his vital organs.”

She paused then to glance up at you.

“It’s truly a miracle,” she said before ducking back into the surgery room.

***

Less than fifteen minutes later, the doctor had returned. She brought you and Max to a tiny hospital room that stunk of bleach. A cot sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by a bunch of beeping machines. The doctor fiddled with the settings on one of them as you approached the bed.

A blonde-haired boy laid under a white sheet. His infamous jean jacket was nowhere to be seen; instead, a light blue hospital gown covered his broad chest. Under the thin material, you could make out the lines of thick bandages that wrapped around his abdomen.

Billy’s eyelids were closed, but his lips were just barely parted. With every rise and fall of his chest, a small puff of air escaped his mouth. You never thought you could be so happy to see someone breathing.

“It may take a while for the sedatives to get out of his system, so he probably won’t wake up for a while,” she had said. “Make yourselves comfortable, girls. Let me know if you need anything.”

The doctor walked into the hall, leaving you alone with an unconscious Billy Hargrove and his exhausted stepsister. The two of you collapsed onto the tattered loveseat next to the bed. You wrapped your arm tightly around Max’s dainty shoulders, and she leaned into you, falling asleep almost instantaneously.

You, of course, didn’t dare to close your eyes. Sure, the doctor claimed the sedatives would last a long time, but you knew Billy. You knew how he could down an entire bottle of vodka before he even got tipsy, how his body could overcome a hangover in a matter of hours. You were sure the anesthetics would be out of his system in no time, and you wanted to be there for him when he awoke.

Thus, you slept even less than the doctors that night. You watched as the nurses came in to check Billy’s heart rate and change his IV bag. Still, you stayed. Max’s mother eventually came to retrieve her from the hospital, but Billy’s father never showed. Still, you stayed.

Behind the curtains, the sky lightened as the sun rose above the horizon. A beam of light shone on Billy’s face, illuminating the black and blue bruises all over it. His thick, dark eyelashes fluttered ever so slightly; the rosy flush had returned to his cheeks. Despite the scratches and bruises, Billy looked more at peace than you had ever seen him, and the words you’d forgotten emerged among your thoughts once more:

A miracle.

You suddenly remembered the mumbled prayers you’d sent to the heavens last night. And, after the events of last night, the idea of a supernatural force looking over you no longer seemed unimaginable. You’d asked, and you’d received-and you were thankful. So, unsure of what else to do, you closed your eyes, folded your hands, and leaned your forehead against the edge of Billy’s mattress. You didn’t know what to say-or even who you were saying it to. You just knew you needed to express your gratitude for your miracle.

Besides, it was really nice to rest your heavy eyelids, even if it was just for a moment...

***

When Billy finally came to, he was in a compact room with white walls. Immediately, he recognized it as a hospital room-as an accident-prone kid with an affinity for daring activities, he had spent a lot of his childhood receiving medical care. He only had to wonder what had brought him here for a second before the events of the previous night flooded his memories.

The last distinct thing he could remember was her face hovering over his. To be more specific, it was the deep frown that creased her beautiful features. Then, there was a slamming of a door, and everything had gone black. Billy attempted to sit up, only to wince in pain as he pulled on the stitches in his side. He opted to remain laying down as he surveyed his surroundings.

Natural light filtered through one of the windows, offering a welcome alternative to the florescent lighting of the hospital. Billy squinted in the bright luminescence. He cupped one hand, raised it to his forehead, and used it as a visor. That’s when he noticed that he wasn’t alone.

There was a folding chair next to his bed. You half-sat in it, your body leaning over the mattress. Your arms were crossed on the bed, and you rested your head on top of them. As the light glistened on your h/c hair, Billy could have sworn a halo appeared.

Billy didn’t want to wake you, but he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and gingerly brushing your hair out of your face. He silently cursed himself as your eyes fluttered open.

“Hey,” you murmured sleepily.

“Hey,” Billy echoed, his voice slightly strained from lack of use.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to stay awake until you were...but I laid my head down, and I guess-I guess I must have just fallen asleep? I’m really sorry,” you stammered, propping yourself up and rubbing at your eyes with a balled fist.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, kid. I’m pretty sure you saved my ass last night, so I think you’ve earned a nap.”

You smiled, and for the first time in a long time, a little bit of warmth flooded into that icy heart of his. He loved to see you happy. When the two of you first met, for half a second, he’d fantasized about becoming the reason you were happy. He wanted to ask you out the day he bumped into you in the halls of Hawkins High, but he couldn’t. You were too sweet, too innocent-too good for him. He could never make you happy.

“How are you feeling?”

It took a moment for Billy to register that you were talking to him.

“I’m...okay. A little sore, but, I mean, that’s probably to be expected, when you get impaled multiple times by a huge flesh-eating monster.”

You chuckled this time, and he savored the twinkling sound. The two of you hadn’t talked in a really long time. Though he’d never admit it, he had desperately missed your voice. But every time he’d considered calling you up, he remembered that there was a reason he avoided you.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” you said. “You took so long in surgery. I was worried that you wouldn’t make it...that I hadn’t done enough to save your life.”

An emotion all-too-familiar for Billy flickered over your features. His father had looked at him with that same expression too many times to count. After he failed to protect his mother, even his reflection was forever tainted with it. The feeling was a killer of men, a breaker of hearts: shame.

If anything, the only thing you had to be ashamed of was the fact that you’d prevented Billy from being put out of his misery.

“Why did you want to help me? I’ve always been a douche to you,” Billy said. It was true, he thought. He had always treated you terribly; yet, you had never shown him anything but kindness.

“Not always. You’ve always tried to be a douche to me,” you said, leaning towards him, “but there’s good in you still, Billy Hargrove. I’ve glimpsed it before, and I saw it last night, in all of its glory, when you sacrificed yourself for your sister and her friends.”

By the time you’d finished speaking, your face was mere inches from Billy’s. He inhaled the sweet scent of your perfume. It was almost as intoxicating as the mere proximity of you.

He shook his head slightly, trying to clear his mind. This couldn’t happen. You were the softest, sweetest person he’d ever met; he saw so much of his mother in you.

And there was far too much of his father in him.

“I’m a bad person, Y/N. Even if there’s good in me...there’s not enough. Not enough for you. You’re an angel, and I’m-“

“A miracle. Your life is a miracle, Billy,” you whispered. One of your hands reached up to cup Billy’s cheek. “And I’m tired of you trying to shut me out of it.”

Even if he had been able to move, Billy wouldn’t have stopped you from pressing your lips to his. They were smooth and tasted of cherry lip balm, and when you pulled away, his mouth tingled. It felt like a butterfly had just landed on his skin for a split second, then fluttered away. He’d never had such a gentle kiss.

“You really are an angel,” Billy muttered, ocean eyes fixed on you.

“I’m not an angel,” you said, running your fingers through Billy’s golden curls, “but I’ll gladly be yours.”

562 notes · View notes

stevenuniversetanzanite · 4 years ago

Text

I made a prompt list out of three other people prompts so I can practice stories.

Links to originals

https://wayfaring----stranger.tumblr.com/post/186040990132/fluff-prompt-list

https://sparklyhyunjinnie.tumblr.com/post/622355495153451008/my-prompt-list-give-me-the-numbers-and-the-idol

https://imnotcreativeenoughtomakegoodurl.tumblr.com/post/186758228060/mmm-love-me-some-casually-aggressive-fluff

Feel free to suggest or use for your own purpose.

I’m only posting in case people wanted to suggest some otherwise I’ll let google random number generator decide.

Out of: 1-132

1. “I really want to kiss you right now”

2. “Stay with me.. please?”

3. “I am so madly in love with you”

4. “As long as I’m alive, I will do everything I can to protect you”

5. “I’ve never felt so strongly about someone before. I’m terrified”

6. “I can’t stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you’re always on my mind”

7. “Don’t go on that date” “Why?” “Because it will kill me if you do”

8. “Just say the words, and I’m yours” “I love you”

9. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me”

10. “Please tell me you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you”

11. “Is this okay?” “It’s perfect”

12. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’ve got you now”

13. “Seeing you this riled up really makes me want to kiss you”

14. “Shut up” “Make me”

15. “You’re the most beautiful person in the room”

16. “I’ve waited too long to do this”

17. “Part of me wants to keep the promise I made to myself.. the other half wants to say ‘screw it’” “Which half is winning?” “The latter”

18. “Why don’t we just stay here a bit longer? In our little cocoon”

19. “Were you jealous?” “No… maybe…”

20. “As if I’m going to let go of you that easily”

21. “okay, but first kiss me.”

22. “i don’t like the dark”

23. “can i hold your hand”

24. “i cant sleep when you’re not beside me

25. “i’m sorry i cant help but stare”

26. “will you stay?”

27. “i promise i won’t let anything bad happen”

28. “i’m so goddamn in love with you”

29. “thats my ex, make out with me and make him jealous

30. “spin the bottle is chiché, i’m in”

31. “i don’t think anyone has ever said that to me before”

32. “i know it’s 2am but can we meet up”

33. “your lips are getting really close to mine”

34. “shit, how’d you make me blush like this?”

35. “why do you always call me when i’m on a date?”

36. “don’t be silly i want to stay up with you”

37. “Have you ever kissed anyone?’

38. “I really can’t take it when you cry like that… smile for me, alright? You’re so pretty when you smile.”

39. “How do you want to die?”

40. “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

41. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

42. “Sorry… your hair was in your face… thought I should move it so I could see you better.”

43. “Just trust me”

44. “Your eyes are so pretty.”

45. “ive missed this”

46. “Did you just slap my ass?”

47. “Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

48. “Can you please…? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe put a shirt on?!”

49. “Give me attention.”

50. “Do we like…hold hands now?”

51. “I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.”

52. “Don’t be nervous, you can come closer”

53. “I-I miss your arms around me as I slept, I know it’s embarrassing but you made me feel safe.”

54. “I have a feeling we should kiss.”“Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling?”

55. “You’re so soft, if I could ever touch the clouds, this is what they’d feel like.”

56. “we’re in public, you know”

57. “either take it off, or I will happily do it for you.”

58. “This is embarrassing but I had a bad dream and back home when this happens I normally just crawl into bed with my mom or sister but since they’re not here anymore can I sleep with you?”

59. “are those my hair clips”

60. “we need to talk about what happened last night”

61. "You're hiding under that blanket because you're blushing?"

62. “I’ll fix it.”

63. “Why are you unbuttoning your pants?”

64. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

65. “You’ve been so bad, haven’t you, baby?”

66. "The sunset isn't as beautiful as you, my love."

67. “Quit it or I’ll bite you.”

68. “I told you to bring a jacket”

69. “dont cry”

70. “if I was there, you’d be getting all the cuddles you deserve”

71. “Did someone say shower time?”

72. “I had a sex dream about you and honestly I don’t know how to feel about it

73. “We always share blankets on the couch, im sure sharing a bed isn’t much different.

74. “How much did you hear?”

75. “why are you so jealous?”

76. “you keep a photo of us in your wallet?”

77. “Bite me” “where”

78. “and just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”

79. “I'm not going anywhere”

80. “are you sure, once we start I might not be able to stop”

81. “behave”

82. “Tell me what you want”

83. “I cant keep kissing strangers and pretending they're you” 64 - “why don’t you come over here and make me,”

84. “tell me again”

85. “Don’t ruin the sofa”

86. “Prove it”

87. “If you keep dancing like that I’m going to cum in my pants”

88. “Stop distracting me”

89. “Did you just look me up and down and bite your lip?”

90. “Are you sure that’s what you want, I could hurt you”

91. “What happens if I do this”

92. “Why don’t you put something pretty on for me”

93. “It was you this whole time”

94. “Is that a tattoo”

95. “I wonder what your boyfriend/girlfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now

96. “No im not letting you go, its too early to get out of bed”

97. “Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

98. “poor baby, do you want me to take care of it for you?”

99. “You can pull my hair all you want”

100. “that tickles,”

101. “your duality scares me,”

102. “What do you have behind your back?”

103. “You snuck into my room to cuddle?”

104. “Hold my hand please”

105. “Wait we were supposed to bring presents?”

106. “I know all of your weaknesses, but this ones new”

107. “We could go together if you wanted”

108. “oh my god do that again”

109. “Do you even know how to load a dishwasher?”

110. “I have a surprise for you”

111. “you're so cute when you pout like that”

112. “we should get a puppy!”

113. “I never cried over a gift before, but there’s a first for everything”

114. “was I too rough”

115. “You’re the one I want, is that so hard to believe?”

116. “I like the way your hand fits in mine”

117. “Wait don’t pull away… not yet”

118. “I love you”

119. “You cant leave without letting me hug you”

120. "I probably wouldn't care if you died because then I would just summon Satan to bring you back to life; It's no biggie at all."

121. "Say you're not worth it one more time, I dare you. I will throw hands with you, I swear to Go-"

122. "You make me want to punch the sun just by looking at you-But like, in a sorta declaration-of-my-undying-love kinda way."

123. "Jesus christ, I- It's nothing, I just realized that I would legit eat my kidneys for you. I just love you so much."

124. "Oh god, if you only knew the things I'd do for you."

125. "Sometimes I feel like all the love you give is going to make me implode one day."

126. "You call the shots; I would walk into a volcano with you if you felt like it."

127. "Here's the thing; there's no way you're stronger than me. I guess you're just gonna hafta miss a couple hours of work and cuddle with me then."

128. "I will boop your nose as many times as I like, thank you very much!"

129. "'Aight wanna bet? I will phisically fight you for little spoon rights!"

130. "You're so cute! I just wanna hug you, and squeeze you, and love you and hold you until the end of time an- Oh sorry, it wasn't supposed to sound that creepy, I swear!"

131. "You know I would die for you, but for the love of all that is good in this godforesaken world; when I say 'bite me' during an argument it isn't and invitation to get horny."

132. "Don't be so gentle. You can hug me tighter y'know- I'm not going to pop or anything."

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lihikainanea · 6 years ago

Text

Guys. Guys. I uh....I got carried away. I’m almost sorry except....I’m not. This took on a life of its own and I just cannot deal.

I mentioned it in my previous post but originally, this portion was planned to be all smut because I was in A MOOD. But when I started writing it, I realized that I just...I really love these two and their dynamic, so more of that ended up coming out in this round. I’m a sucker for these hooligans and how sweet they are, I can’t wait to see what happens next wait shit I’m the author what the fuck.

Anyway, I have maybe one part left in this; I want to do a morning after. That being said, if you want more BFF!Bill then by all means, send me prompts. I can’t get enough of him either. I created him and that bish still fucks me up.

You know the drill, Parts 1 + 2, Part 3, and Part 4. Originally inspired by the nani ask to @ill-skillsgard thats over there in the first parts.

But listen, hey, I want you all to be safe here, so trigger warnings: there’s a brief mention of the date rape drug being slipped into her drink. Nothing happens from it, but it’s mentioned and I want this to be a safe space for you all.

If you think I missed a trigger, please, let me know. I don’t ever want anyone to be triggered by what I write because it lacked a proper warning.

Name’s Leilani, by the way. No it ain’t my real name. Pronoun is she. I’m angry smol human but on here I’m quite friendly.

Tags: oh god people asked me to tag them and I feel way too self-indulgent doing so??

*******

You almost wished he’d hurry up, be just a little more rushed in his movements. Not because you wanted the whole thing over with, not because you wanted something a little rougher, but because something fast and unbalanced on the pleasure scale was a lot more familiar to you. Too many men had poked and prodded at you a little too roughly and a little too soon, and while it had always been consensual, there was nothing that was pleasurable about the jackhammer, hurried pace that dominated the majority of your experiences. Men who skipped foreplay altogether, had little to no knowledge of female anatomy, men who were so scared you’d change your mind that they went fast, came first, and left right after.

The way Bill was savouring you, though, was driving you insane. You had never quite been with a man who made your pleasure his sole focus, who seemed to be enjoying giving you pleasure as much as you were enjoying receiving it. He took his time, and nothing in his movements was tentative. Every touch, every kiss, was something you could feel. It was confident, it was sure. It was gentle and kind but definitive in letting you know that he was exactly where he wanted to be right then. Everything he did lacked hesitation of any kind. His sole focus was on you, on making sure you were enjoying what he was doing. On making sure that you were finally getting the pleasure that, in his mind, you deserved every time.

But the pace, and his undivided attention, also made you feel vulnerable in a way you hadn’t anticipated. You had been vulnerable with each other before on so many occasions, sure. You weren’t afraid to be emotional, to be raw with one another. You were the one who put Bill back on his feet after his girlfriend--the first girl he fell so, so hard for--broke his heart and left very suddenly. He had been a mess for weeks, not eating, not sleeping, spending days in bed in a catatonic state. You had set up camp at his place, coaxing him to shower, to eat a little something, to talk through it or just cry his heart out. Bill had been the one your friends called when a girl’s night out went south, after a jerk at the bar slipped something into your drink. Your friends had noticed your strange behaviour and followed you into the bathroom, where the last thing you remembered was throwing up neon orange and passing out. Your friends, they later told you, had called him in the wee hours of the morning. He left the set he was on immediately, ran through the bar and had busted the door down of the women’s bathroom to find you on the floor, bleeding from a gash in your forehead where you smacked the toilet on the way down. He wrapped you in his jacket, tucking you into his chest as he carried you out. Bill never mentioned anything, but that night he ordered Uber rides for all of your friends, tracked their routes and requested that they text him when they arrived home safely. He was the one to drive you to the hospital, propping you against him as he held his scarf to your bleeding head. You had thrown up, both in his expensive car and directly on him, but he held your hand while the doctors connected you to an IV and stroked your cheek while they stitched you up. He slept with you at the hospital that night, contorting his large frame into an uncomfortable chair and keeping a solid hold of your hand. Afterward, he had donated half of his earnings from his latest movie into the patent that was pending for a nailpolish that could detect the drug in someone’s drink.

Everything about Bill, about your friendship with him, had been about comfort. About safety. And now, it was that same comfort you felt in every kiss, every move he made against you and to you. It was reassurance that you were safe, that he wanted you to feel good.

And you did feel good, so good. As he ground his hips into yours, kissing you until you were lightheaded while you were still trembling slightly from your earlier release, the only thing you could think of was chasing that high again but making sure he was right there with you this time.

You threaded your fingers in his hair, scratching at his scalp lightly and he moaned into the kiss as he placed his forearms by your head, giving him better leverage to grind against you. You reached your other hand down between your bodies and palmed firmly at the large bulge prominent in his jeans, and his hips surged forth. He broke the kiss with a grunt, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to control his urge to drive you into the mattress. You removed the hand you had buried in his hair to lightly trace his cheek instead, down his jaw, and finally tugging his lip free from his teeth. His mouth was on yours again in an instant, the intensity matching the way his pelvis was grinding into your palm with much more urgency. Popping open the button on his jeans, you danced your fingertips along his happy trail, scratching ever so lightly with your nails. He moaned loudly against your lips, hips jutting forward again of their own volition.

“Fuck,” he grunted, “You could kill a man, you know that? Kill him de-” his sentence was cut off abruptly in favour of a drawn out moan when you reached your hand into his boxers and took a firm hold of him. He ran a hand through your hair and clenched it lightly in his fist, pulling your head back and smothering you with his lips again. He licked into your mouth, caressing your tongue with his, moving his warm lips against your own until you both were out of breath.

You whimpered when you felt him twitch under your hand, and you weren’t sure how much more you could wait.

“Bill,” you moaned against his lips, “Please, fuck, please don’t make me beg for it.”

The look in his eyes when he pulled back slightly to look at your face was enough to almost put you over the edge again.

“What did I tell you about begging, tiger?” he placed a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose, giving you a genuine smile that flashed his dimple, and you suddenly couldn't wait a second longer. Your fervour took him a little by surprise, he jumped ever so slightly as you started to yank at his pants. He helped you take them off of him, shimmying out and kicking them away as he moved to crawl back over you. He settled between your legs again, both of you moaning when he felt your wetness slide along the length of him. He ran his finger lightly down the bridge of your nose and your eyes fluttered closed.

“You feeling good, tiger?” he asked.

“Yes,” you replied, pleasure drunk and stupid on it. He kissed your cheek, then your earlobe, before placing his lips at your ear.

“Eyes, sweetheart.”

You turned your head, opening your eyes and bumping your nose against his. You grabbed one of his hands and laced your fingers through it.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“Good,” another slow kiss, “I’m glad. Do you want to keep going?”

“Bill please, make me come again,” you begged, and your own response would have embarrassed you if your mind hadn’t gone completely blank except for the need to feel that again.

His eyes closed, and he rested his forehead on yours, squeezing your hand tighter.

“Say that again.”

You only whimpered, tilting your pelvis up to rub your wetness against him. A firm hand stopped you.

“I won’t make you beg, sweetheart, but fuck say that again. Please,” he pleaded.

You indulged him, moving a hand to claw desperately at his back, drag down his spine and dig your nails into his hip bone, pulling him towards you.

“Please Bill,” you whined, “Please make me come again. God you made me feel so good.”

He groaned, low and deep in his throat before you felt him line up against your entrance. He gently took your chin in his thumb and forefinger, kissing you softly, before checking in one last time.

“You want this?” he whispered, close enough that his lips still touched yours when he spoke.

“Yes,” the desperation was getting worse, you could feel your insides throbbing just at the thought of being stretched so deliciously around him. You felt yourself clench around nothing, so empty that it ached.

“You’ll tell me to stop if you change your mind?”

“Yes. Bill...” it was almost a sob. You felt the tip of what you so desperately wanted bump against your entrance and then he was pushing in, agonizingly slow, so that you could feel every vein, every pulse, every single inch of him. It was a stretch, he was bigger than most of the men you had been with, but he had spent so much time making sure you were ready that the only thing you felt was pleasure. With a drawn out groan and one last push of his hips he was seated fully inside you, his face buried in your neck and his arms wound tightly around you. You had never felt so full, with his hips flush against yours and you felt your walls clench involuntarily around him.

His arm shot out, gripping the headboard until it almost splintered.

“Fuck,” he swore. You felt him twitch deep inside you, and then you suddenly started to feel that delicious pressure low in your belly again. It was already starting to build, his tip resting heavily against that spot inside you that had you squirming. You just needed...friction. You needed friction.

You ran your hands down his tensed back, pressing down firmly, and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You used your heel to gently tap at his backside, rubbing your clit against his pubic bone in a silent plea to get him to move.

“I just....” his face was still buried in your neck, his chest heaving against yours, his hand still gripping the headboard in a vice, “I just need a minute.” He rested his full weight on you in an effort to render you rather unable to tilt up and grind against him, but all it did was put more pressure on your clit and caused you to clench around him again.

A string of Swedish curse words, some new to your ears, left his mouth.

Removing his hand from the headboard, he wove it with yours and dragged his hips back, thrusting into you slowly. Your head fell back against the pillow and you moaned loudly, spurring him to bring his face back to yours and lay a kiss on you that had the pressure in your belly building even faster. Your walls fluttered around him as he rolled his hips forward with every thrust, rubbing his pubic bone against your clit as his tip repeatedly pressed down against that spot inside you that had your toes curling.

“You’re so tight,” he ground out, “So wet for me.”

You were a mess, legs shaking, and the only thing you could do was moan as you started to feel your insides clenching more frequently around him now. His hips faltered in their pace.

“God I can feel how close you are again, sweetheart” he moaned, “You’re so sensitive.”

You whimpered, almost embarrassed at how easily he was working you over.

“Don’t hold back, kid. Just let go,” he coaxed. You gasped, feeling that coil winding so tightly it was ready to burst again. His lips at your neck, his delicious words at your ear, were getting you there that much faster.

“Bill...” you tried to warn. He licked at your mouth, taking your lips in a ferocious kiss and tangling his tongue with yours before pulling away

“That’s it, tiger,” he groaned, “Just let go. All over me.” He thrusted a few more times, angled deeper.

You were powerless to stop it. Your second orgasm of the night tore through you and your back bowed roughly off the bed. He caught you as you surged forward into him, wrapping his arm around your back to support your body and keep your chests together. You clenched repeatedly around him and he let go a grunt so rough that it was nearly a yell, fisting the sheet in his hands as he tried to stave off his own release. When you finally went limp against him, he kept you close and guided you back to the bed. Wiping the hair from your face, he used every ounce of willpower he had left to still his hips.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. You’re so good for me,” he soothed. You could barely breathe.

“Hey, tiger,” he said, and when the haze wasn’t clearing from your head, his voice got a bit more firm, “Look at me, kid.”

You dragged your eyelids open, almost wincing, and looked at him.

“You’re okay. We’re okay,” he said, continuing to trail a delicate finger around your features. You came back to your senses slowly, and he waited patiently until he saw the spark return to your eyes. The spark, and then a glint of ferocity that he knew well. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, you crushed your lips to his forcefully.

“More,” you demanded, once you had separated from his mouth. He was still buried deep in you, but hadn’t moved an inch while you came down from your high. You could feel him throbbing, twitching inside you, and you noticed now the tight clenching of his jaw, the way his fists held sheets so tightly balled up that his knuckles were turning white. He needed his own release so badly it hurt.

“More?” he looked for confirmation. Your eyes already bore into his and you didn’t look away, didn’t even blink, as you raked your nails down his back.

“More,” you confirmed emphatically and it was all the encouragement he needed before he started moving against you again, slowly at first, as he felt you involuntarily jerk your hips towards his.

You were already so sensitive, so buzzing, that it didn’t take much to get you right back to that edge again. He had a knack for making sure his pelvic bone ground against your clit with every thrust, and with every push forward you felt him slamming into that spot nestled deep inside you that felt like it might explode. You felt like you might explode, not only had you never had this pleasurable of an encounter with any man, but Bill had catapulted you off the edge twice already in releases that were nothing short of earth-shattering. Maybe it was his weight on you, maybe it was his breath on your neck, his voice in your ear, maybe it was the reverberations in his chest that you felt against yours when he moaned his own pleasure so loudly--but nothing, no toy, no man, not even yourself, had ever made you so pleasure drunk.

You knew he was close the way his hips took on a more frantic pace. His large hands grabbed at you, still careful to avoid your love handles that you had told him you hated being grabbed, but he palmed at your thighs around him, grabbed at your hair, your chest. You had a vice grip around his back, needing the closeness, as he drove into you with more fervour. His moans were sinful and loud, unrestrained passion in your ear. The sound of his pleasure only drove you further until you were soaring higher. He fisted your hair, pulled your head back none too gently and crushed his lips to yours before tearing them away, biting anywhere he could reach as he felt your tell-tale fluttering around him again.

“Come for me,” he commanded. You moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders. His hips surged, faltered, and drove deeper.

“Now, tiger,” he said with urgency. And then, you were crashing again. Like a freight train. You gripped him, helplessly holding on as you spasmed and cried out, your body feeling like it was moving independently of your mind.

He couldn’t hold back anymore, the sight of you coming undone for the third time that night, and all the little noises you made, pushed him over the edge. He gave a few more thrusts before groaning loudly, nearly ripping the bedsheets bundled in his fists as he came. His back popped, his leg cramped up and he was pretty sure he may have cracked a tooth with how hard his jaw clenched. He jolted for several moments, the aftershocks tearing through him, as you soothingly ran your fingernails up and down his spine. They found their way to his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp as he panted in your ear and collapsed against you.

“Thank you,” you said, your voice taking on a frail tone, “thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you,” you kissed any part of him that you could reach. His hairline, his cheeks, his chin, his nose, his jaw, his neck.

“That was....” you started to say.

“Oh my god.”

“That was incredible,” you kept your tone low, not wanting to spoil the intensity of it all.

“Oh my god,” he repeated.

You laid like that for awhile, waiting until each of you caught your breath. When your breathing had slowed, he moved his face to yours and gently caressed your features. You reached up and moved his hair away from his forehead.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Mmmm, yes,” you closed your eyes and hummed happily, wriggling further into the mattress. You felt him gently bump his nose against yours, and you opened your eyes, staring into his, knowing that he needed that eye contact to confirm.

“I’m good. You?” You kissed him lightly, and were rewarded with that boyish smile and the dimple that accompanied it again. He nodded.

“Did that feel good?” he asked.

“Good?” you replied incredulously, “Bill, I think I’m going to need a chiropractor to reset my spine, I came so hard.” It earned a chuckle, and you drew him back in to keep him close as exhaustion suddenly overtook you. He held you like that for awhile, his weight pressing into you, and it was a comfort. After several minutes, and only once he was sure you would be okay with the loss of contact, you winced as you felt him slip out of you and leave the bed. Floating in that in between state of consciousness and deep sleep, you barely registered a warm wash cloth between your legs, a cool one being pressed to your forehead. He disappeared for a few moments when you had passed out cold, you heard the shower running and the clang of a few pots and pans in the kitchen, before the bed dipped down under his weight and a hand was gently running through your hair.

“Come on tiger, sit up for a sec,” he coaxed. You turned your head into his hand, urging the head scratches, but ignored his plea.

“Can’t sit up. Too fucked out.”

He chuckled, easing an arm under you and slowly bringing you upright. You caught whiff of something--food something, and shit you were starving now--and opened your eyes. He was waving a plate under your nose; two grilled cheese sandwiches, one with the crusts cut off. Your hand immediately snatched it.

“Yeah, thought so,” he said, smugly. You munched on your sandwiches in comfortable silence, still maintaining contact in some way--he brushed the hair from your eyes, or you swiped at a crumb stuck on his lip. When you were done eating, he placed the plate on the floor and put a glass of water in your hand, urging you to drink it. You listened, handing the empty glass back to him. Sitting on his haunches, he reached a large hand up and cupped your jaw, gently forcing you to look at him.

“You feel good?” he asked, his thumb stroking your cheek. You placed your hand over his.

“Yeah. Yeah, I feel really good,” you said. You placed a gentle kiss on his palm. “Thank you, Bill.”

He smiled at you, dragging his thumb across your lips. You kissed that too, before grabbing his chin and bringing his face to yours, placing a gentle kiss on his mouth.

“Happy to help. Now come on, let’s get some sleep.”

He nudged you into lying down, scooting in close behind you. He wrapped an arm around your rib cage, opening his hand over your heart and tucked his legs up under you.

“This okay?” he asked, burying his face into your neck.

Your only answer was to scoot further back into him, pressing your back to his chest, and enclose your hand around his. The last thing you remember is him pressing a gentle kiss to your ear before coaxing you to sleep.

#BFF Bill #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard fic #nani asks #BFF!Bill

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z 245

Last time, Goku teased a new form, one beyond the Super Saiyan 2 form Vegeta and Gohan used against Buu at the start of this arc. But he’d prefer not to use it if possible.

The idea here is just to keep Majin Buu busy long enough for Trunks to fly there first and get the Dragon Radar. After that, it won’t matter (as much) if Buu destroys the place, because the Z-Figthers can use the Dragon Radar to collect the Dragon Balls and wish back all the casualties. But Trunks is distracted by Goku’s abilties. He can sense that Goku is about as strong as his father, and he’s apparently unfamiliar with Goku’s teleportation ability. The reason he’s got his eyes closed here is because Babidi is psychically broadcasting Buu vs. Goku to the world, so Trunks can watch their confrontation simply by closing his eyes.

And Goku uses that trick to speak directly to Trunks, telling him to quit gawking and do his job.

With that taken care of, Goku decides that he’s got no choice but to demonstrate his new form. First, he powers down completely, presenting this as a review of the Super Saiyan forms. Babidi doesn’t see the point, but Buu’s interested, and that’s the one Goku’s worried about.

So this is Goku in his base form.

And then he turns Super Saiyan. This is the form he used to beat Frieza. No worries there.

Then he transforms again, into the form Gohan used to beat Cell, and the one Goku and Vegeta used when they fought each other about fifteen episodes ago.

Crucially, Goku dubs this form “Super Saiyan 2″, about sixty episodes after it was introduced. So now we can finally stop calling it “beyond Super Saiyan”, “ascended Saiyan”, and whatever else this show has been throwing around. The funny thing is, everyone kind of stops referring to this form altogether after this. Goku and Vegeta continue to use it, but you almost never hear anyone spell out “Oh, he’s using Super Saiyan 2″. I don’t think anyone mentions the form in GT at all, even though a lot of guys use it.

The story I heard was that when Movie 14 happened, Akira Toriyama was so rusty with DBZ continuity that he forgot Super Saiyan 2 was ever a thing. That seems kind of odd, considering that he must have remembered the higher levels, but it doesn’t surprise me a whole lot, because it looks so similar to Super Saiyan 1, and for a very long time the form didn’t have a true name. I know that when I was watching this arc back in 2001-2002, I just considered this “Ascended” nonsense to be irrelevant. To me, the forms were one and the same, and SSJ2 was merely a Super Saiyan fighting at full power. But then I got to this episode, where Goku made it clear that Super Saiyan 1 and 2 were different things.

And this is important, because we need to establish these things so that it means something when Goku decides to go... even... further beyond! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Back in Otherworld, King Kai is freaking out, begging Goku not to do this. It’s too much! This form he’s going to use is so extreme that it’ll use up the rest of his 24 hours in the living world!

BUT THERE’S NO TURNING BACK NOW! THE MUSIC IS ALREADY PLAYING, KING KAI! Oh, shit, I forgot the music.

youtube

It’s called “Ssj3 Power Up” on Bruce Faulconer’s DBZ American Soundtrack volume IV.

The Japanese version, sadly, does not have a theme song this badass for this moment. I really don’t understand that, because they should have known one was called for here. Let’s face it, not much happens during this scene, and they seemed to recognize that issue when Gohan turned Super Saiyan 2 for the first time. Then again, Faulconer kind of whiffed it on Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2, so I can’t critique the Japanese score too harshly. But if you’re a subs-only fan and you want to give the American dub a chance, this is one of the better episodes to sample.

Meanwhile NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON THIS IS INSANE! GOKU’S ENERGY IS SO HUGE RIGHT NOW U GAIS!

WHAT ARE THESE CLOUDS DOING THIS IS NUTS!

NO SAILING TODAY, THERE’S A SUPER SAIYAN 3 WEATHER ALERT!

I’M GOING TO YELL THE REST OF THIS LIVEBLOG BECAUSE IT’S SO EXTREEEEEEEEME! GOKU’S GOTTA FIGHT THIS DUDE AND HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS WIFE INSTEAD BUT THAT’S OUT OF THE QUESTION NOW! SHE’S PASSED OUT BECAUSE SHE THINKS THEIR SON IS DEAD, WHICH IS QUITE THE MOOD-KILLER IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! ALSO IMAGINE YOU’RE TRYING TO FOOL AROUND WITH YOUR WIFE AND SOME TALKING ANCHOVY STARTED TALKING IN YOUR MIND AND YOU CAN’T CLOSE YOUR EYES BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN SEE THE PUBES ON HIS SCALP. AND HE’S ALL “TEE HEE HEE I’M GOING TO SEND MY BUBBLE GUM MONSTER TO BLOW UP SOME MORE SHIT!” THAT WOULD ALSO BE QUITE THE MOOD-KILLER IN ADDITION TO THE DEAD SON THING.

I MEAN MAYBE A COUPLE COULD WORK THROUGH ONE OR THE OTHER BUT NOT BOTH. IF I WERE MARRIED TO CHI-CHI I’D LIKE TO THINK I COULD FULFILL MY MARITAL DUTIES IN SPITE OF THE TALKING ANCHOVY IN MY HEAD. I WOULDN’T ENJOY IT AS MUCH, BUT CHI-CHI’S A FINE WOMAN WHO DESERVES THE BEST IN LIFE. BUT IF OUR SON WAS DEAD THAT WOULD JUST BE TOO MUCH. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BONER POISON I’M SORRY CHI-CHI IN THE AU WHERE WE’RE MARRIED AND HAVING SEX.

THERE’S NO STOPPING THIS KING KAI. E! C! W! E! C! W! E! C! W!

O-LAYYYYYYYYY, O-LAY! OLE, OLE, OLE, O-LAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

CROSSWALK SIGNS EXPLODE FROM THE SHEER INTENSITY OF GOKU’S POWAAA

WINDOWS BREAK AND SPILL GLASS ALL OVER EVERYBODY!

THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART WHERE THIS NEWSCASTER IS COVERING THE HORROR OF THE BUU CRISIS--

WHEN SUDDENLY HE CAN FEEL IT! THIS JUST IN THERE’S SOMEONE SCARIER THAN MAJIN BUU AND HE’S BROUGHT GOKUTOWN BACK TO EARTH! ONE NIGHT ONLY!

THEN THE TV BREAKS BECAUSE IT KNOWS BETTER

GOKU’S KI IS SO POWERFUL IT EVEN BREAKS THE NO-TIEN RULE ON THIS WHOLE ARC. PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THIS BUT CHIAOTZU SLEPT WITH THE PRESIDENT OF TOEI’S WIFE AND HE WAS SO MAD HE TOLD TORIYAMA “YOU KEEP THAT LITTLE HOMEWRECKER OUT OF YOUR STUPID KARATE COMIC, YOU GOT IT?” AND TORIYAMA DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT BUT HE RESPECTED WHAT THE GUY WAS GOING THROUGH SO THAT’S WHY THEY DIDN’T SHOW UP IN THE TOURNAMENT BUT GOKU’S SCREAMING HAS SHATTERED THE TIMESPACE CONTINUUM AND NOW TORIYAMA HAD TO DRAW THESE TWO AGAIN BECAUSE REALITY BROKE DOWN THAT BAD.

EVEN THE MIGHTY MISTER SATAN IS POWERLESS AGAINST THE SHEER METAL THAT IS COURSING THROUGH THIS DOOMED EARTH.

MULLETS EVERYWHERE VIBRATE IN HARMONY WITH GOKU’S EXPANDING HAIR

THEN HE’S ALL TINY AND THE WHOLE WORLD GOES BLACK IT’S LIKE A METAPHOR OR SOMETHING THIS IS ART YOU PHILLISTINES

I DON’T KNOW WHAT OOZARUS HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS GOKU LOST HIS TAIL LIKE 20 YEARS AGO AND IT WAS SO UNIMPORTANT THEY DIDN’T EVEN SHOW IT.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE PLANET VEGETA? IS GOKU JUST THINKING ABOUT PLANETS HE LIKES?

BABIDI DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS A MINUTE AGO, BUT GOKU’S GOT HIS ATTENTION NOW DOESN’T HE?

AND THEN HE’S ALL DONE! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE, GOKU, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD?

JUST IN CASE ANYONE’S NOT CLEAR ON THIS, HE EXPLAINS THAT THIS IS SUPER SAIYAN 3. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS EYEBROWS? THEY GOT SUCKED INTO HIS HEAD, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED.

SO NOW HE JUST LOOKS AT BUU AND HE’S LIKE YOU COME GET THIS WORK.

MEANWHILE ON THE SUPREME KAI PLANET THEY CAN FEEL GOKU’S POWER ALL THE WAY FROM THERE AND THEY’RE LIKE WHAA?

SO BUU SAW ALL OF THAT BUT HE’S NOT IMPRESSED. GOKU’S LIKE FINE LET’S DO THIS ALREADY.

MEANWHILE TRUNKS MADE IT HOME BUT NO ONE KNOW WHERE DRAGON RADAR NO

BUU TRIES TO ATTACK BUT ALL HE DOES IS CATCH THESE HANDS. GOKU BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF HIM....

... OR THAT’S WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, EXCEPT BUU HARDLY TAKES ANY DAMAGE, AND HE RESPONDS WITH A RAPID FIRE ATTACK. GOKU’S ALL “THAT’S VEGETA’S MOVE WTF” AND I’M LIKE “HOW IS THAT VEGETA’S TRADEMARK THING IT’S JUST SHOOTING HAND ENERGY VERY FAST. DON’T ACT LIKE BUU IS SOME SORT OF GENIUS FOR FIGURING THAT OUT. I DON’T THING VEGETA EVEN USED THAT ON HIM, SO HOW DID HE LEARN IT?”

KING KAI’S STILL PLEADING WITH GOKU TO CALL IT A DAY. IF HE RUNS OUT OF TIME, HE WON’T BE ABLE TO TEACH GOTEN AND TRUNKS HOW TO FUSE!

BUT NO THESE TWO BIG OL’ BOYS ARE HAVING A WRESTLE.

BUU’S REALLY INTO THIS BUT BABIDI KEEPS YELLING AT HIM TO FINISH GOKU OFF. HE’S LIKE SOME SHITTY ALIEN JIM CORNETTE WHINING ABOUT HOW BUU DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO WORK. SO BUU TELLS HIM TO STFU.

BABIDI’S LIKE HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME THAT WAY I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I’M A LEVEL 20 WARLOCK WITH ANCHOVY-BOOGER POWER SIR.

GOKU’S JUST FRUSTRATED THAT TRUNKS STILL HASN’T LEFT WEST CITY YET, SO HE JUST HAS TO KEEP DROPPING HURTIN’ BOMBS ON THIS PINK FOOL.

MEANWHILE TRUNKS CAN’T FIND THE RADAR BECAUSE IT’S NOT ANYWHERE ASSSDFGHJKL;;

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #majin buu saga #majin buu #babidi #goku #gohan #trunks #kibito #supreme kai #tien #chiaotzu #yamcha #videl #krillin #king kai #super saiyan 3 #macklunkey

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damdahdi-studies · 5 years ago

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exam season

the last 2 weeks have been exam season. leading up to exams i ran week-long blocks of distracting websites on my mac, so I haven’t been able to get on tumblr.... so finally updating now: (more like ranting.)

one math exam left, on thursday morning

exams so far have been.... okay. none of them i feel particularly good about, but overall i think i managed to deal with the stress/anxiety better this semester than last, just a little bit

some nice things that happened before exams:

100% in Chinese speaking mock exam, listening and writing section of written mock exam. i didn’t really realise it until i looked back on my old posts and read how i felt after first set of exams just now, but i have come ... maybe not a long way, but some kind of way :] at the time i was very insecure about just myself and barely believed i could improve on my own; yet i did to a standard i never could’ve dreamed even start of this year.

somehow obtained 90% in an oral presentation i made about The Crucible by Arthur Miller. i still don’t know how I did it, but I’m glad i improved from the 60s i got last semester in presentations. public speaking still felt like hell though

top female scorer in my state for some maths competition. also have no idea how i did this, i thought i would get distinction at best.

changed piano teachers (previous teacher recommended the new one)

dress for year 12 ball next year arrived. it’s a soft grey pretty thing

my birthday was during exam season :/

also first set of my own prayer beads arrived. have been using them daily since

reflecting on each subject: (so I can read back on this after i get my marks back and be like haha.... you fool.)

Literature: better than last time is all i can say... it was okay (still felt like hell during the exam because it’s Literature) managed time during exam slightly better, I didn’t panic as much, but that’s about it lmao i’m crossing my fingers for a low 70s and double crossing for an A. i wasn’t able to or simply didn’t contribute much effort/time to literature this semester, so a B wouldn’t really be a fuck-i-tried-so-hard-why-did-i-get-this-grade kind of punch in the gut, but it would be really nice to not break an all A streak... but I highly suspect I will get a B

Methods (maths): exam was harder than i expected. hoping for a 90s though, a mark that wont bring my average down. i think i was best prepared for methods compared to other subjects, emphasis on COMPARED to other subjects. -_-

Physics: ahh physics. a whole debacle happened during the exam, please see below. other than that the exam was... kind of expected difficulty? which is difficult, but it wasn’t terrible-terrible. i’m hoping for an 80s. i really can’t hope for much, i was probably delirious half the time. i did manage to ‘finish’ (attempt every question) though i wish i got more time... i couldn’t double check many questions and there was this one question i wanted to spend more time on but oh well...

summary: i threw up once before the exam, twice during.

ate a blueberry bagel with cream cheese, with some salmon on top for breakfast. looking back, it was probably the salmon.

didn’t feel good after. got to school feeling pretty sick in the stomach and a pretty bad headache.... which escalated to one of the worst headaches ive had in the last 3 years in 20 minutes

at this point i could tell something was wrong and that i was about to throw up

went to the toilet, tried to throw up whatever was causing pain to my body, but couldn’t. only ended up scaring away some poor kid in the next cubicle

FIRST TIME: left toilet. sit still for 10 minutes outside, feeling progressively worse. go back to the toilet, then throw up a lot. gargle, wash face, go back to find everyone filing into the exam room.

feeling slightly better at this point since ive thrown up (i thought i had emptied most of my stomach by then. spoiler alert: no) and decide internally to just do the exam. (if i don’t, then i would have to fill out some form, probably do the exam way later. too annoying)

SECOND TIME: so i sit the exam. 5-6 minutes into reading time, i feel another wave of throwing up coming. i raise my hand, i’m at the very back of the hall, so examiner takes a bit to notice. my brainwashed ass brain thinks i can’t stand up and leave without the examiners spoken permission, so i persist in sitting in my seat for around 10 seconds until she’s there, i’m already throwing up in my mouth at this point. finally something snaps and i make a break for the toilet, but it’s too late and i throw up all over the floor. in the exam hall. Fuck. i immediately apologise on the spot.

examiner leads me to toilet. i throw up some more. gargle, wash face. she asks me to step outside for a couple of minutes for fresh air and i do. 5 minutes later she comes back and asks me if i want to continue the exam. i say yes. we go back in, the vomit is gone from the floor. she moves my seat closer to the exit, and tells me i can bolt out whenever i need to throw up. i sit the exam.

some time after this, the other examiner leaves a vomit bag next to me just in case

THIRD TIME: an hour in? i feel another wave coming. i grab the vomit bag, make a dash for the toilets but the stupid old door won’t open properly. the examiner helps me open the door and i throw up in the toilets, in the vomit bag this time. it’s not as much as the previous two times. tie up the bag, throw it in the bin, gargle, wash face.

instinctively i feel that this is the last time i’ll throw up, that i’ve truly emptied everything from my stomach this time. headache is way weaker at this point.

go back in and examiner asks me if i’m really sure i want to continue the exam, whether or not if i want to fill in a form excusing myself from the exam. i say no.

about an hour left in the exam, which i sit in utter peace

didn’t get any extra time.

apologised to some people around me after the exam while filing out of the hall... i suffered but they did too.

went home and drank some stomach soothing tea. slept

ate porridge for the next 2 days.

Chemistry: it was.... okay. i did finish and attempt every question. there were a couple of questions in multiple choice i was iffy about and a question in short answer i was like um... what? to, but other than that it was.... eh. i didn’t study much for it, so whatever mark i get i deserve. if i do defend myself it was 3 days after the shit show that was the physics exam, and i felt sick for at least a day after.... but yeah. should’ve tried more.

during reading time, the examiner who saved my life put the vomit bag on my desk in the physics exam came and asked me if i was feeling better

i said i’m feeling good thanks : )

like an hour later? i feel sickness coming. not stomach this time, just general sickness. somehow i get a fever and subsequently, the FLU in the middle of the chem exam-

i highly suspect i got it from the examiner

come back home to find out that i really do have a fever

this was yesterday. yes i’m sick now. like, more sick.

Chinese: this was today. i’m still kind of too traumatised to reflect on it properly. Chinese is the only subject that ive studied the yr 12 course for this year, so this exam really counts. like 35% of my final grade counts kind of counts. and i did pretty bad. like pretty bad. it was definitely more difficult than the mock exams, and the recordings in listening section were quicker than previous years. the writing section was... traumatising while writing i kind of had a wave of anxiety/panic hit me? i could feel my heartbeat my face was burning and i started sweating ;-; and even the reading section, which is usually okay, was a bit hard. i’ll get the marks back and my final grade for this subject in December - we’ll see until then. got a slightly overdue birthday present before the exam tho :)

So yup. that’s my exam season. i’m typing this instead of studying for my maths exam day after tomorrow but hey, i’m sick and need rest, right?

overall, these exams i managed to keep control of my stress a bit better, i wasn’t so overwhelmed like last time. last semester i could barely live, literally. this time i made the habit of living at the library which i found really helpful and comparatively productive, i’ll definitely be using that strategy more often. i’m just glad i managed to study SOMETHING or prepare for exams explicitly this time, because i was simply too overwhelmed to do that last time. i improved. maybe not by much, maybe it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s better than none...

i’m not saying i don’t have regrets or shortcomings in these exams. i definitely do. DeFinITEly. but doesn’t mean i didn’t improve. i did improve. just, maybe not as much as i wanted.

i really learned to the bone this time that learning during the semester is so, so important. i think that’s just a wisdom i’ll have to carry through the rest of my academic career.

wish me luck for my maths exam on Thursday

my friends and ive already planned an outing for after the exams :)

also getting overdue birthday presents next monday! :D

#exam #high school #student #exam season #exams #study #studying #studyblr #chinese #sick #mental health #stress #overwhelmed #anxiety

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fisherfurbearer · 5 years ago

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fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.

#jjst...ffeels like shes violating somethingg #and treating me a LOT like how my abusive mother used to treat me #why are you CRYING? you cant be trying here. this is a BUSINESS.#is a lot like Why Do You look so MISERABLE all the time?? why are you CRYING??#and shit like IGNORING ME when i try to change my hours #straight up ignoring me #she basically made it clear shed rather me QUIT than fuckingg chop 2 hours off my AVAILABILITY #ITS SO FRUSTRATING #AND SHES SUCH A HYPROCRITE #scheduled 7-2 every sunday!!#yet you cant change my availability to 7-7??#you NEED ot keep it until 9???#but working until 9 and getting home around 10 and getting no sleep because i need to take care of my pets and myself #and get up at 5:30 the next morning for work at 7 #WHEN THAT COULD EASILY BE ALTERED BY CHIPPING A COUPLE HOURS OFF MY AVAILABILITY #AND MY DOCTOR ALSO THINKS I NEED TO CHANGE IT TOO #BUT WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT ITS A BU S I N E S S #SURE SURE BUT WHEN A CUSTOMER FLIPS THE SIGN ON A $7.94 SHIRT #TO SAY 0.94 CENTS #WITH THE CENTS SIGN!!!!#THEN I HA V E TO HONOR IT #THATS A+ BUSINESS RIGHT THERE #BITCH DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO APPROVE A COUPON ON SLEF CHECKOUT!!!!#AND OUR FRICKING STORE MAANGER MAKES TRIPLE FIGURES!!!#BUT NO ONE FUCKINGG CARES #NO ONE FUCKING CARES #I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMOREE #id dont want to have to lose my job and stability over this one person #but this isntt...ok #i shouldnt have to go to work and deal with MORE emotional abuse

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years ago

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Friends in Dark Places [remastered; ch 3]

pairing: moxiety and logince (later on) with the addition of others if i feel like it

WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, mentions of suicide, mentions of scars, mentions of throwing up, food mentions, mentions of pain, hospitals, ivs, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, swearing, a knife, blood, insensitive language regarding mental illness, possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog

a/n: idk why linebreaks don’t wanna work so we’re just gonna pretend they’re there okay thanks bye

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 - chapter 9 - chapter 10 - chapter 11 - chapter 12

companion fics: exes and ‘oh’s

The first thought that popped into Virgil’s mind when he woke up was that it was far too bright. He squinted, trying to make out something. A dull, throbbing pain coursed through his wrists, and he groaned at the memories. Patton was going to give him so much shit.

It didn’t take too long for Virgil’s eyes to get adjusted to the bright lights. He was in a hospital room, and everything except for his blue smock was bright, clinical white. There wasn’t anyone else in the room with him--for the time being, at least--but a light blue backpack had been discarded on one of the chairs in the corner. Patton must have quickly thrown it together before they’d left.

The door slowly creaked open, and Virgil’s eyes snapped to the movement. Patton creeped through, only standing up straight once he’d realized that Virgil had woken up. A frown spread across his face as he moved to sit in the chair at Virgil’s right side.

“Virgil, you’re lucky that Logan and Roman had a free period today and were able to come get us to the hospital. What you did was very dangerous, though I’m sure that was your intention.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but obviously I did, and I’m so sorry about that. Still, we need to talk about your situation because you aren’t fit to be left on your own. I’m not going to force you into any situation you aren’t comfortable with, but I want to keep you safe.” Patton was speaking at a million miles an hour, barely comprehensible due to worry. Virgil shrugged and turned toward the only window in the room, watching the cars pass by on the road many stories below. In the back of his mind, he dreaded having to leave. He’d been in this hospital before on the rare occasion that a family member was dying, and from his memory, the local hospital only had elevators and emergency-only stairwells. Of course, Virgil was wildly afraid of elevators.

Patton was still talking when he tuned himself back in. “I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about your situation, so I cleared it with my parents, and we checked you in under my name and made sure that there would be complete confidentiality. You’ll be covered under my parent’s insurance, so you won’t have to pay for anything. They want to make sure you’re okay and are perfectly fine with this.” He knew that Patton was trying to be comforting, but it just made Virgil feel more guilty. He was taking so much from this family. They were committing fucking insurance fraud for him.

Hot pinpricks formed in Virgil’s eyes. He tried his damnedest to will them away, but they began to slip down his face regardless.

“Hey! Virge, it’s okay. What’s wrong, kiddo?” Patton placed a light hand on top of Virgil’s arm, avoiding the tender spots where the bandages had been wrapped around him. Virgil forced himself to look at his companion. He hadn’t noticed before, but Patton had intense bags under his eyes, suggesting that he hadn’t slept at all during the night. His guilt only grew.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil whispered. “I’m so, so sorry that you have to deal with my depressed emo garbage. You don’t deserve this.” He was a burden to everyone he met--merely bringing them down with him. There was no escape the sinking ship that was Virgil Thomas. Once you got on, it was hell on earth.

“Y’know,” Patton began. It was obvious that he was trying to pick his words out very carefully. “I’ve been in situations similar to yours. Although they weren’t nearly as intense, I’ve had great doubts about my self-worth. You really are a good person who deserves a good life, Virgil. I can just feel it. I really do want to help you, and I don’t care what I have to sacrifice to get you back on your feet.

“All of that aside, we need to talk about your living situation. Do you have anybody at home who will be worrying your whereabouts?” Patton laid expectant eyes on Virgil.

“Um, not really. My dad is almost always out of town, and my mom hasn’t been around for years.”

Patton nodded thoughtfully. “Alrighty then. Would you be okay with staying at my house for the foreseeable future? We would obviously have to grab your things from your house, but I’d feel better if you stayed with me. And I’m sure that you’ve seen that we have more than plenty of room for one other person.”

“I guess that’ll be okay.” Virgil’s voice was shaking slightly. He didn’t know whether he should be sad or happy. He was receiving so much kindness, yet he didn’t feel like he deserved it. His thoughts were interrupted when a nurse came into the room.

“Mr. Thomas? I need to ask Mr. Shea some questions. I’d ask that you leave the room… unless Mr. Shea is okay with you staying.” The nurse had a large smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes like Patton’s did.

“Um, I’d rather Pat--uh, Virgil stay in the room, if that’s all right.” Virgil gave her the best smile he could scrounge up, and she gave a curt nod, her brown hair swishing around her face. She took the seat on the opposite side of the bed from Patton.

“Mr. Shea, my name is Nurse Lucy. Do you remember what happened before you were admitted into the hospital?” Nurse Lucy pulled a pen from her pocket and began to write on the clipboard she’d had on the table next to her.

Truthfully, the events of the day had become fuzzy in Virgil’s mind. He could remember with clarity yelling at Patton and running to the bathroom. And then he punched the mirror and cut his knuckles, but after that? He had nothing.

“I don’t really remember anything…” Virgil’s face scrunched up just slightly in thought.

“Well, Mr. Shea, your friend with the tie told us you had a ‘severe panic attack,’ and Mr. Thomas followed up by saying you hurt yourself with ‘broken glass from a mirror’ and then passed out due to a mixture of blood loss and anxiety. Do you remember any of that happening?”

“I remember the panic attack and the mirror part; although, I remember the latter only vaguely.” The teen didn’t really like the direction that these questions were going. They were getting far too close to striking a nerve. As if he’d been reading the other’s thoughts, Patton piped up.

“Nurse Lucy, Vir-- Patton has been through a lot today. How long do you think these questions will take?” Virgil sent a silent thanks to whatever deity that was watching over him.

“Just a few more minutes, Mr. Thomas,” the nurse replied with a saccharine smile. “Mr. Shea, have you had any bouts of depression within the past four months?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered.

“And how long did the depression last?”

“It started when I was fourteen and has been on and off for the past three years.” His hands began to shake.

“Have you had suicidal ideations or attempted suicide in the past four months?” The clinical tone of the nurse’s voice caused Virgil’s breath to hitch. Patton gave a small squeeze, reminding Virgil that he was still there.

“Yes. To both.”

“How long have you been having suicidal thoughts?”

“Since I turned sixteen.” He raised his left hand and ran it through his hair. He already knew the next question she was going to ask before she even opened her mouth.

“When was the last time you attempted to commit suicide?” Time seemed to freeze in the room. Virgil glanced over at Patton, who had a pained expression on his face. Lines of worry were etched across his fair skin, and his normal smile was pressed into a harsh frown.

“Today,” Virgil whispered. It was the truth, and he was sure Patton knew it regardless of if he wanted to believe it or not. He looked at his feet, refusing to let his gaze shift to either of the people at his sides.

“I see,” Nurse Lucy said with sterile crispness. “Since you were admitted due to injuries from a mental illness and have admitted to other mental instabilities, you will need to stay in the hospital for at least three days for further mental examination.” She stood up and smoothed out her pants.

“Um, Nurse, will I be allowed to stay during the exams?” Patton’s soft voice broke through the unrelenting silence.

“That depends on the doctor’s specifications. If you have any questions, I can leave his phone number here so you can discuss with him. Now, if you two will excuse me, I have another patient that I need to check up on.” Virgil could hear her clicking footsteps leave the room and the hollow thunk of the door closing.

“Virge, will you please look at me?” Patton asked with genuine sweetness in his voice, not the fake sugary bullshit that the nurse had given him. Virgil turned his head slowly. His breathing was becoming shallow, and he could feel a panic attack coming on.

“I need you to listen to me, okay? You are going to be okay. I’m going to stay with you through all of it, even if the doctor wants me to leave.” A whole new wave of tears began to stream down Virgil’s face. This time, however, Patton climbed into the hospital bed, bringing his new friend into his arms, not caring about the tears that would end up staining his shirt. They stayed in that position, Virgil crying into Patton’s shoulder, until the former fell asleep.

---

“I don’t understand why we have to run errands for some kid that we barely even know!” Roman complained, crossing his arms with a huff. He and Logan had received a text from Patton that, as soon as school let out, they needed to go to the house of the kid they’d drove to the hospital and pick up anything they thought he’d need, whether it be clothes or electronics or whatever.

“Technically, Roman, we’re not running errands for Virgil. We’re running errands for Patton, who happens to be working to help a stranger. This is for our friend.” Logan turned off the engine of his disgustingly old Dodge Intrepid. He shoved open the squeaky door and walked up to the porch of the large white house.

“Yes, but--” Roman argued as he’d exited from the passenger seat-- “Why do we have to do this? Why can’t he do it?”

“Did you see how Patton was acting when we were checking Virgil into the hospital? He was an emotional wreck. I doubt he’d even leave Virgil’s side if we threatened to murder a puppy right in front of his face. He obviously has some sort of emotional attachment to the kid.” Logan punched in the code to unlock the door. The way that Patton had gotten the code was a mystery that Logan would probably never be able to solve. Shaking the thought from his mind, he pushed open the door and led Roman inside.

The inside of the house was just as plain as the outside. Light grey linoleum tiles lined the floor, and every surface was painted white. Even the doors were white. It was the biggest disgrace to the profession of interior design that either of the teenagers had ever seen.

“The bedroom is upstairs, correct?” Logan asked, looking around for any semblance of a clue that indicated someone actually lived in this house. The whole thing was oddly bare; there were just a few pieces of furniture in each room that he could see.

“Yeah, second door on the right.” Roman had already made it halfway up the stairs by the time he’d finished his sentence. Logan sighed and followed his dramatic friend.

It would have been easy to find out which room was the correct one even if they hadn’t had the directions. The door to Virgil’s room had been painted black and stuck out like a sore thumb against the blaring white of everything else. Roman swung the door open and walked inside with a flourish that only he would add.

“What a dreary nightmare this place is.” Roman grabbed a vinyl sleeve that had been discarded on the floor. American Beauty / American Psycho by Fall Out Boy. With a slight eye roll, he shucked the sleeve onto the desk to his left. He looked to Logan and saw that he’d had already gathered a pile of assorted black clothes onto the black duvet. Shocking.

Roman let out a long sigh and gathered things from the desk. He took a few notebooks that were labeled with school subjects and their corresponding binders, a pencil case, a pair of over-ear headphones and attached cell phone, a well used black eyeshadow single, and a weird little cube with a bunch of buttons on it. He placed them on the bed and grabbed a backpack from the floor, stuffing his finds into it. Logan had pulled a suitcase from somewhere-- probably the closet--and had begun to neatly fold clothes and pack them up.

“I’m going to search for the bathroom to grab Mr. Black Sky’s toiletries.” All Roman got in response was a nod. With a slight eye roll, he left the room and began to peek into each room in the hallway. The one third on the right turned out to be another bedroom, as was the fourth, the one across the hall from that one was a linen closet, and the two down the hall were completely empty. Last, he checked the first door on the right. He opened the door and found a pristinely clean bathroom, minus the spread of toiletries across the counter.

Roman grabbed the toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush that was laying on the ground near the edge of the counter. He picked up a small rectangular metal thing that was hidden behind a stack of washcloths. It suddenly snapped open to reveal a small knife that had little flecks of blood on it. His stomach dropped, and he quickly closed the blade, nearly throwing it back onto the counter.

His mind strayed back to the time when Pat had been having a rough time. He and Logan had stayed up until ungodly hours researching things to help. Roman remembered when he’d clicked on a link and was brought to a website about cutting with graphic images of scars and cuts. Although he was not normally squeamish around blood, the thought of his friend hurting himself had nearly made him throw up.

He’d seen similar scars on Virgil when he’d helped Logan patch up his cuts. A shiver ran through his body. He didn’t want to think about that.

“Roman? Have you acquired everything that you need?” Logan’s voice called from the room over. Roman shook his shoulders and stood up straighter.

“Yeah, Lo. I’ll be there in just a moment.” After throwing one last glance at the knife on the counter, he made his way back to Virgil’s bedroom. Logan grabbed the toiletries from his hands and shoved them into the backpack before slipping it onto his shoulder. The two brought the bags out to the car and stowed them in the back seat. Roman’s memories from the bathroom were soon forgotten when he received another text from Patton.

Patton Delivered at 3:30 pm Virge has to stay in the hospital for the next few days for mental examination. They’re worried about him attempting suicide again. If you guys could pick up a stuffed animal from the gift shop, I’d really appreciate it! <333

Roman Read at 3:31 pm Of course, Pat! We’re just leaving the house now, so we’ll be at the hospital soon. Do you need anything?

Patton Delivered at 3:31 pm Just a water bottle. See you guys when you get here! <33333

Patton Delivered at 3:47 pm I just realized I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast. Can you grab me something to eat in the cafeteria?

Roman Read at 3:50 pm I’ll add it to the list of things we need to do that Logan’s forcing me to write. Be there in 15.

Patton Delivered at 3:50 pm Awesome! <3

Patton Delivered at 3:54 pm Roman?

Roman Read at 3:54 pm Yes, Patton?

Patton Delivered at 3:55 pm Thank you both. I really appreciate what you’re doing for Virge and I.

Roman Read at 3:56 pm It’s no problem Patton. You’ve had a rough day and deserve some rest.

Patton Delivered at 3:56 pm You and Logan are fam ILY.

chapter 4

#sanders sides fic #m writes things #moxiety #logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders

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unknowngirl199424-blog · 6 years ago

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Pt. 3

Now being the pretty innocent girl i was. I smoked weed very occasionally. Drank every now and then. But that was it really. I smoked cigs. Stupid choice i made at an even more stupid young age. I was 13 when i tried it. 15 when i started smoking every day. (My parents knew, they didn't care) my younger sister had been smoking for years. She partied a lot. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Took a lot of pills. Would steal my moms pain pills that she needed from the back surgeries. Mom would run out at the end of the month and would bawl... Literally wail in pain. And it never stopped my sister. I caught her several times. Id get pissed. Ask her wtf she was doing, or why... But she never stopped. I never told... I was drowning in depression. It started when i was 13. After my grandma passed. I changed... She was my world.

My parents partied ALOT!

Used LOTS of drugs...

Ranging from just weed, to coke, to meth...

The first half of my life... From birth till... 14? I think was when they quit all the hard shit for good. They were just... Mom and dad. I mean i loved them, i respected them, but... I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was normal for me to walk in and see light bulbs just randomly on the coffee table.

It was normal for me to wake my sis up in the morning, helping her get dressed, teeth brushed, food in her belly and out the door waiting on the bus. Every day. We lived in the country about 20 miles from town where our friends were. So all we had was each other. In the summer as soon as the sun started to show, 7:00ish. My parents would rush into our room. One would wake up me while the other would wake my sister. Rush us up and to get dressed and outside. We'd be outside alllllllllll day long in the summer in Oklahoma heat. They'd have friends over and lock the doors. We played. Sometimes the friends would bring their kids and we'd run around and play all day. I was a tom boy. I had scarred bloody knees almost daily from wrecking my bike. Would just walk around the property we lived on. Played with our dogs. Pissed off snakes that liked to live in the barn or chicken coop. I ran a lot. BUT IT WAS NORMAL TO ME. They started to quit when i was 12. Then grandma passed. They started again. Didn't stop for good until mom was hurt and dad was fired for pissing dirty for weed, coke, and meth. He was rehired 6 months later. But shit was rough at the time. So after losing my grandma. I went into myself. She loved me, took care of me. Gave me what i wanted and needed. I basically broke. I was never really an over joyous kid. I was raped and molested by my cousin. And so i always carried pain. But grandma was who made me happy. She passed. And from that point in my life from 13 to 18. I cut a lot. I was emotionless most days. But some days I'd break and cry for hours. For the longest time i thought i was depressed because of grandma. But i realized... Depression is a disease. And once you get a good dose of it, it stays. It twists and folds and wiggles its way into every fibre of your being and clings. And bad things that go on add to it and over time, you are eye level deep terrified you're gonna go under soon and no one will notice. Well over the years shit was added. Once I realised i could.... Not feel the pain and sadness... I latched on. Over time the occasional smoking weed went to every day several times a day. Drinking came up for awhile but i hated feeling like shit the next day so i quit. My ex gave me a pain pill one day.

I realised that not only could i get away from the pain and depression, i could feel fucking amazing while doing so. So it started out ya know. Once a week. Just one. To 2 a week to 4 a week to at least 1 every day. When we went up north. Pills were every where. Drugs in general. And i wanted to experience things. We had fun. Went lots of places. Did lots of things. Parties, festivals, fairs, amusement parks, museums, art museums, craft fairs, art stores, book stores, malls, movie theaters.. Just... it was great. I met her friends. They were like her. We partied a lot. I was soley living in the moment for once instead of striving to please everyone else. It was a stupid choice. But it was my choice. Over the years. The fun with it stopped... it became a nessecity. She got shitty and mean sober and i was just as miserable. I wanted happiness not that. Her dad would give us pain pills every day and muscle relaxers. If we did literally anything for him he'd pay us in pills. My ex was also prescribed pain pills too! We'd go through them so quick and then he'd give them to us so we didn't go through withdrawal. By year 3 (2015) I'm 21. I'm working a few months here a few months there. Living the same daily cycle. My day didn't start until pills were thrown down my throat. The habit got bad. I was to a point i was taking fucking handfulls of pills. Daily. And didn't feel ok until then. The few days i didn't have them, i literally slept all day and all night. I was burying my issues with a dark coping mechanism.

I started falling out of love. I left her once last year and we got back together the next day. I told her she couldn't keep stopping me from leaving because it was making me hate her. She wouldnt let go. We stayed together for 4 months. I broke up with her and moved back to oklahoma the beginning of this year. But she was my comfort. Pills were my comfort. After being here for 4 months i let her come back. It was bad. I got back into pills again and one day i told her i didn't want to be with her anyone. She was here for a month at that point. But she wasn't trying to work. She wouldn't do anything. But look for pills. I told her i was done. She gave me some pills. I didn't know what they were but she told me they were for anxiety. And i was really upset. So i took them. We kept arguing. She kept giving me more. My parents stopped by to drop something off, i guess i was wayyyyy out of it. They leave. The fight blows up. I tell her i want her gone. She kept refusing. Idk what happened. It was like a light switch went off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and sliced my wrist up for the first time ever... I only cut my stomach and thighs as a teen. She came around the corner and saw what i was doing and broke a glass vase i had. She ran over and grabbed the blade. Started yanking it from me. I guess we fought over it pretty hard cuz all i remember was it flying across the room and when i got back 6 days later it was soooo bent up.

She kept going and going and i grabbed a piece of glass and cut, she got it away and i just collapsed to the floor. She tried hugging me. I screamed at her for being toxic for me. To not touch me. To just call my mom. My mom shows up. Its like 11:30 at night at this point and she freaks out. My ex starts shit with her. They argue. I scream at them that they needed to stop and mom took me to the er. I guess by that point i was in and out of consciousness. One thing i do remember was seeing an old teacher that i had from yearrrrs ago when i went to a vocational school to become a certified nurse aid. I really looked up to her at 17. Admired her. She was a Dr there in the er. It was humialting. I cried. I guess i pissed in a cup for em or something. I don't remember. But they told my mom (which i didn't find out till almost a week later) that i was overdosing. That all of what i took hadn't caught up and that's why i was talking really crazy and blacking out. I don't remember. But the next morning i wake up. There was a cop sitting next to my bed. 20 mins later im being handcuffed and put in a cruiser and drove over a hr to a phych place. Guess the dr asked me the night before what would happen if i went home and i said i didn't know. So they legally put me there for 5 days so i couldn't be any harm to myself.

5 good things about being put there.

1. I had no access to pills, alcohol, even cigarettes. So i was very very clear headed. The first time in almost 6 years. Had time to think about where tf my life has landed me.

2. I realized how fucking truly bad our relationship was. And came to the conclusion that if we stayed together. One, if not both of us was gonna end up in a casket. Whether it be from pills or not. It was gonna happen.

3. I realized that i deserved wayyyy better. Relationship wise. Life wise. I deserved someone who could push me in the healthy direction. Make positive choices. I felt like instead of maturing, i was still trapped in an 18 yr olds mentality.

4. I ended it. And that time i meant it. There's nothing she could offer me. That would make me go back. Not a million dollars, not a billion, not even all the stars in the sky. I have nothing for her.

5. I met someone who treats me amazing now. Who pushes me. Keeps me away from the shit. I've been pain pill free for 5 months and its staying that way.

And for once... I'm starting to actually feel happy. Genuinely. I was prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, and a sleep disorder med. I stopped taking the anti depressants because they made it worse. But im to the point where the good days finally out weigh the bad. And when the bad come, i roll with it.

For the new year. I have a few goals.

1. Continue all the hard work ive put into myself. Keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep pushing myself forward. No more settling for less what what i truly want.

2. Stay tf away from pain pills. 👍 keep fighting that demon in me who whispers how good I would feel or how one wouldn't hurt...

3. Quit smoking cigs. They're killing me. My lungs hurt all the time.

4. Continue bettering my life. I got away from her for 4 months and i had my own home, vehicle, and a high paying easy job. Brought her back for a month, had a suicidal moment. But she's gone and im in a great relationship. And I'm fucking HAPPY!

5. Quit being so fucking hard on myself. I hate the way i look, i hate my body. But they can be changed. Stress over things that need it but relax more. I'm 24. I still have time.

I STILL HAVE FUCKIN TIME

#mine #personal #journal #diary #dear diary #my diary #my words #my escape #my post #getting better #one step at a time

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